All right, officially, welcome to Supernatural Saturday.
If you're brand new, let's see your hand.
We'd love to see all of our new people.
We have lots of new people coming into the community.
We are so excited to have you.
And this happens every Saturday for just one little hour at the beginning of Saturday.
You know, the Jews think that Saturday is the Sabbath.
They think today is, you know, the day that God rested.
And maybe that's true.
It could be this Saturday.
It could be a Monday.
It could be a Sunday.
I don't know.
The bottom line is, is that for a lot of people in the world, this kind of starts the week.
This is the end of the week.
This is the Sabbath.
And this starts the new week.
So let's just say that today, that Supernatural Saturday is our reset.
It is our reset for what's coming for this next week of our life.
And I don't know if you guys have noticed, but time is moving faster as you're getting
older.
Have you noticed that?
I don't know if it's because kids just don't have a concept of time or everything seems
long because kids are always waiting for something that they want to have happen.
Waiting for the end of the school day, waiting for summer vacation, waiting for the weekend,
waiting to be 16 years old so they can drive, you know, always just waiting for something.
And because of that, it feels like time is dragging on when you're younger.
But as we get older, it feels like time is flying by, doesn't it?
Now, I have a theory that I cannot prove scientifically, but I believe somehow time is moving faster
now.
I know we still have 24 hours in a day.
We still have 60 minutes in an hour.
I understand that.
We still have 365 days in a year.
But I have noticed an acceleration in time and the Bible seems to support this.
It seems to support that there's an acceleration of time that happens in what the Bible describes
as the end times or the end of the age.
And I know that we still have the clock ticking the same way as usual, but it does feel like
it goes by faster and that it's accelerated.
And so I really want to encourage us just from the top of today's Supernatural Saturday
to pay attention to time, to pay attention to your management of time, to not think that
you have all the time in the world to accomplish something you want to accomplish, to not put
off till tomorrow what you truly could do today.
Let's think about that for a second.
It's always tomorrow.
I'll do that tomorrow.
I'll think about that tomorrow.
I'll decide tomorrow.
The Bible says that tomorrow is not even promised to us, right?
We're not going to get down into some doom and gloom this morning, but today is the only
day that you'll ever have.
That's why it's called the present.
It's a gift from God, and it's the only day that you'll ever live in.
You will never live in tomorrow.
You can try to live in tomorrow, and a lot of people do, and guess what?
Those people never accomplish anything, and I know because I used to be one of them.
I have a gift to be a future thinker.
I'm a very futuristic person.
On that test called the Strength Finder, one of my top strengths was being futuristic,
meaning I'm prophetic, meaning I can plan ahead for the future, meaning I'm a big vision
thinker.
That's all wonderful.
Those are gifts, but gifts being overextended become weaknesses, and so what I was doing
in my past is I was living in the future because I could see the future, because I could dream
about the future, because I could envision the future, because I have a really good habit
of having a 30,000-foot view of things, right?
I can see the big picture, the whole picture.
That's what makes me a good entrepreneur.
That's what makes me a good business builder, but if you don't come back down from that
30,000-foot view, if you don't come out of six months from now, a year from now, five
years from now, your 10-year plan, and come back to today, then you will not be able to
ever build what it is that you're seeing in the future because it starts with today, right?
A journey of 1,000 miles starts with a single step, and I wasn't coming back to today.
I felt comfortable in the future.
I felt comfortable dreaming about the future because it was safe and it was exciting, and
my current life, my present life, my today life was not exciting.
I'm just thinking about when this shift happened for me, and so I was doing something called
escapism.
Anyone else?
Dreaming, escaping.
You might have a different form of escapism.
Your escapism might be food.
Your escapism...
Might be television, you know, watching movies on Netflix,
binging shows.
Your escapism might be right in your hand right now,
your phone, scrolling, scrolling, scrolling,
watching other people create,
watching other people's lives,
watching other people have a life maybe
that you think that you want.
Remember, it is social media,
so who knows how much of it is real,
but yes, escaping.
Escaping into putting together puzzles,
escaping into some other hobby
that there's nothing wrong with.
There's nothing wrong with crocheting.
There's nothing wrong with putting together puzzles.
There's nothing wrong with needlepoint.
There's nothing wrong with pickleball.
There's nothing wrong with any of these things,
but if that's what you're doing to try to avoid
thinking about what needs to be done
or thinking about what you should do
or what you need to do or what you may even have to do
in order to make the most of this one and only life
that God gave you,
and I know friends that would get busy.
You're like, hey, Jackie, I don't have any hobbies
because I have to work 24 seven.
Yeah, I know.
I remember that.
In fact, I'm gonna tell you a story in just a second
about a season of my life
where I had not one job, but two jobs,
and some of you might laugh at that.
You're like, Jackie, I have four jobs.
Well, wonderful.
But I'm gonna tell you that God didn't design you that way,
and if you've had anything like that
for longer than a season,
then you're probably living this life in an orphan mentality,
and I can say that because I used to be doing it.
You're like, no, no, I'm single,
and that's how I have to make the ends meet.
You don't understand.
No, I do understand.
I used to be single too, a single mom, actually,
and so I'm telling you that when we're in an orphan
mentality, when we're in a poverty mentality,
when we're in a I have to do it myself,
no one's gonna do it for me mentality,
when we're in a I know that God exists,
and I believe he's real, but I'm not really sure
that he cares about me or can take care of me mentality,
that's when we do things like that,
and once again, if you have goals
that require you to kind of grind for a season,
then I'm all for that, but that season should end,
and so if that season continues,
summer, fall, winter, spring, year after year after year,
if every year you wake up in the same place,
then today's message is gonna be for you
because that's not God's purpose or will for your life,
for you to be perpetually in the same place,
never moving forward, never gaining ground,
always feeling stuck, not enjoying your life,
I know a lot of religious people think
that's not important to God that we enjoy our life,
well, why, why wouldn't it be important for God to enjoy,
for us to enjoy the gift that our father gave us?
Father's Day's tomorrow,
for Father, and just go ahead and imagine with me,
even if you never had a good dad in your life,
what it would be like to receive a present,
a very expensive, very precious present from a father,
and then you as the child, as the recipient of that present,
just kind of, you know, not use it, not enjoy it,
your father comes by and he sees
that you're busy doing something else,
and there's the present that he gave you,
and you're not enjoying it,
you don't wanna mess it up, or you don't wanna waste it,
so you're not using it, not enjoying it, not loving it,
that would, that wouldn't feel good,
that wouldn't feel good,
God doesn't wanna see you not enjoying
the life that he gave you, and yeah, you know,
some of us, we didn't get,
we didn't get an easy start in the life,
I know that, I'm one of those people,
the start, the start was not easy,
the start was really, really hard, really hard,
and we've all been matched with a timeline,
we're all matched, all of us that are alive right now
on this call, and hopefully if you're here, you're alive,
have been matched with a timeline in history
where we just don't live in easy times,
we live in convenient times,
we have fast food drive-throughs,
we can microwave our food, we have technology,
makes things easy for us, we can just get on our phones
and do most anything that we would need to do,
order things, reserve things, do work,
send letters, you know, email.
I remember a time, and all of you on here remember a time
when you had to actually write a letter out with your hand.
Yeah, it's called cursive, remember that?
You had to write something out
on a piece of paper from a tree, okay?
And then put it in an envelope
and stick this little thing on it called a stamp
and address it correctly.
Remember in school when they taught you
how to address a letter correctly?
And the reason why they taught us that
was because we were gonna have to send
a lot of letters in our life
because no one knew what was coming.
Maybe some futuristic person knew,
they were dreaming about it, but nobody else knew.
And so we're learning this stuff
and then you had to put it in that mailbox
and put the little red flag up
or take it to the post office and drop it off.
And then you just had to wait.
You just had to wait.
I had a long distance boyfriend when I was a teenager.
He became my first husband.
I met him when I was 12 years old at a camp
and we started writing letters to each other.
And I would get a letter from him every Thursday
because it took exactly two and a half days
for his letter to get from Columbus, Ohio
to Cleveland, Ohio.
And he would always mail me a letter on Monday.
And sometimes the mail would be slow
or something would happen.
There'd be a holiday and the mailman would be off
and y'all, I couldn't handle it.
I could not handle the fact that I was not gonna get
a letter that Thursday.
And then when we got a little bit older,
I got a phone call once a week
because you guys long distance,
you guys remember when long distance calling
used to be really expensive?
If they were in a different area code than you,
you was gonna pay some big money.
Right?
I started, I had a job since I was 12 years old.
I worked at the Milk Pale restaurant.
I wore this little white nurse's uniform
with little orthopedic shoes
and I served people their coffee and tea.
I was a beverage girl at a family owned restaurant
when I was 12 years old.
And then when I was 13 years old,
I worked at a salon as like an assistant,
like cleaning stuff up and organizing things
and you know, whatever, whatever.
When I was 14 years old, I got a legitimate,
legitimate job at Kentucky Fried Chicken.
That's right.
Why did I work so young?
Because I wanted money.
I was the child on and off of a single mom
and I learned the power of my ability to make money
so that I could buy things that I wanted
like long distance phone calls to my little boyfriend
in another city and clothes
because I was a little fashionista.
Still am.
By the way, you guys, you're allowed to like what you like
and if anyone tries to say what you like is vain
or wrong or materialistic,
you know, God creates us with our likes.
I've liked clothes since I was a child.
I didn't wanna wear that.
I wanted to wear this since I was a little child.
I've had a very specific sense of style and taste
which other people may not enjoy but I enjoy.
I used to cut up my clothes
and make them into other clothes.
I learned how to sew.
I got a sewing machine.
I went to the thrift store when I was an older person,
like in my 20s, early 20s
and I bought clothes from the thrift store
and I would use the material
and I would make them into other clothes
because I liked that.
I enjoyed it.
I envisioned it.
I could envision what it could be instead of what it was.
Once again, a gift.
So don't let anyone steal your talent,
your gift, your desires from you.
That's just a side note.
I grew up in a family with a mother,
with a difficult mother, very difficult mother.
She's in heaven now.
But for those of you that don't know my story,
I'll just say this.
My mother always tried to make me feel like that gifting,
I didn't know it was a gifting,
style, fashion, creativity.
She always tried to make me feel like that was vanity.
Like I was materialistic, like that was vain,
because she grew up in a really poor family.
Six kids, alcoholic father, no money,
had to wear hand-me-downs from the school's giveaway bin.
Can you imagine going to high school
and wearing other students' giveaways?
Yeah, that ain't fun.
That's not fun, walking down the hallway
and someone recognizing your clothes
because their parents gave those clothes away
to the school's giveaway bin.
So I know, I understand now as an adult
where she was coming from, that felt frivolous to her,
that felt superficial to her,
that felt self-absorbed to her, right?
But it wasn't, it was a gift that God gave me.
And it took me a long time to get my mother's voice
out of my head and allow myself to enjoy it again.
And I just wanna speak that over someone right now.
Took me a long time to break free from the narrative
that that was wrong.
In fact, I didn't plan on going this direction
with Supernatural Saturday,
but we'll follow Holy Spirit right now.
By the way, if you're new, that's what we do here.
I have a message for you guys today
that I believe is from the Spirit,
but we also follow any little bunny trails
Holy Spirit wants to lead us down as we're going.
But when I was an early Christian,
when I met Jesus in my 20s,
that voice was loud in my mind
of how the way you look on the outside is superficial,
how it's self-absorption, conceit even.
And so when I was a young Christian, I met Jesus at 22.
So 23, 24, 25, those years before I had my daughter Reagan,
I always felt bad if I liked my outfit.
If I looked in the mirror before going to church,
and I was discipled by one of those churches
where you'd be dressing, okay?
You'd be dressing.
You don't go to school, you don't...
Back in that day in this denomination that discipled me,
you didn't go to church in t-shirt and shorts or jeans.
The women weren't even allowed to wear pants.
So that just tells you what kind of situation that was.
But you were always dressed up.
You'd be dressing, okay?
In fact, I can't tell you how many times
I would just be out and about in public,
but because of the dress code of that church,
and because I was in ministry with that church,
and because of all the things,
how many people would say to me,
what are you all dressed up for?
Like just out and about.
Oh, you look so nice.
What are you all dressed up for?
Because I had long hair and it was always pinned up
and some elaborate updo on my head.
And I had dresses on,
and I probably seemed very dressed up
to the casual culture that we all live in.
But once again, looking in the mirror,
if I saw something that I liked,
oh, I like this outfit.
I like that.
I think it looks so pretty.
I like these clothes.
Oh, that's so cool.
Go to the mall, go to the store.
And you know, I didn't have much money.
I didn't have any money back in those days,
but just go.
That's why I started going to the thrift store
and making my own stuff.
What if I really liked it?
Then I felt guilty about liking it
because of that voice in my head.
So some of you may have a voice in your head.
It's become your voice now,
but it originated with someone else in your life.
Maybe a father, mother, sibling, friend to me,
friend to me.
Someone telling you that you shouldn't feel that way.
You shouldn't be that way.
You shouldn't look that way or, you know,
that you're not enough or that you're too much
or whatever it is.
And I just want to encourage you
to come out of agreement with that today.
You don't have to agree with that today anymore.
I don't agree with that anymore.
When I look in the mirror, I don't feel guilty at all.
When I like my outfit, I don't feel guilty at all.
In fact, God spoke to me a few years back and he said,
I need you to take your love for fashion seriously.
And I'm like, what?
He's like, oh yeah.
That desire, that love for fashion that you have,
I need you to take it seriously
because it's part of how I've created you
and it actually leads somewhere.
Do you guys know that the gifts, the talents, the desires,
the curiosities that you have are there on purpose?
It's like a little Post-it note trail,
like a little love note trail.
I would say breadcrumb,
but that has meant something else in our culture.
I don't feel like God's breadcrumbing us
in the way that we think about in psychology
when someone's leading you on or gaslighting you.
So I've shifted to love notes.
God's leading a little trail,
leaving a little trail of love notes that are.
getting us to a particular destination.
So even if it seems superficial,
even if it seems materialistic,
whatever it is that you like,
whatever it is that you're interested in, curious about,
it's probably a clue,
a clue that leads you to something
if you allow yourself to go down that route, that road.
All right, so let's get into
what I wanted to talk to you guys about today.
I jumped on a prayer call this week, a random prayer call.
I think it was Wednesday.
And I told the ladies,
it was right before the prayer call was over,
and I told them about a question that changed my life.
And you guys, I believe that if questions are asked to us,
and we'll really sit down
and think about the answer to that question,
in the right season of time,
when we have the right mindset,
and we're ready to receive the information
from that question and answer, it can change our lives.
Do you believe that?
Okay, a couple of you do.
A couple of you believe that.
Now you can get asked the same exact question
in a different season,
and it just goes right over your head.
You don't pay any attention to it at all.
Doesn't make an impact, right?
It doesn't have to be a profound question.
It doesn't have to be a question
that other people would think
would be a life-changing question.
It just has to be in the right time, in the right season,
when you have the right heart to receive it.
And that's what happened to me.
And so I told them on that Wednesday prayer call about that,
and I'm gonna tell you about it as well,
because it didn't leave me since Wednesday,
and I believe that it's a message for all of us,
not just the Wednesday prayer call ladies.
So I told them about a time
when I was going through a very hard season,
one of the hardest seasons of my life.
That church that I was talking about that discipled me,
well, the pastor got in trouble and he was going to prison.
The church had shut its doors.
I had been there every single day
because I worked at the church.
I had been there every single day for the previous 12 years.
That was my family.
In a lot of ways, in that season of my life, I was an orphan.
I did have an origin family.
I had a father that I didn't know.
By the way, that father that I didn't know,
I texted with last night,
and I will be sending a card to today,
late, of course, because that's my MO,
but I will get that card out in the mail today,
and he will get it.
When I'm in California in two weeks,
I will take him to lunch because that's where he lives,
and that's where all of us are from.
Yes, I will do that.
Does he deserve for me to do that?
No.
Has he ever done anything really meaningful in my life
besides be part of the conception process?
No, he hasn't.
Has it caused a lot of pain by his absence,
by his abandonment when I was six months old?
Yes.
Have I forgiven him?
Absolutely.
Do I have grace for him?
Yes.
Is he like an amazing person,
and I'm so excited to have a relationship with him
because he's just done all of his hard work,
and he's just easy to get along with?
No.
Hopefully that's helpful for some of you.
I don't believe that honoring our parents
on these holidays is mandatory,
but I do think that it will go a long way
towards helping them become the people
that God has created them to be.
You honoring someone who's been dishonorable,
you honoring someone anyway,
you giving someone grace, extending them grace,
even though they don't deserve it,
that's actually the way of Jesus.
Now, does that mean that you open yourself up
to more hurt and pain?
Does that mean that you don't have boundaries
with unsafe people?
No, it doesn't.
But guess what?
No one can hurt you through a card in the mail.
You're not gonna be in proximity to them.
You can use that old-fashioned snail mail delivery system,
and you can send them a card in the mail.
You're like, but Jackie, all the cards say things
that aren't true about my parents.
I know.
But think of it as prophesying over them.
Think of it as speaking life over them.
Think of it as their ideal future self.
Right?
Why not?
It's not gonna hurt you, and it might help them.
Anyway, that's just a side note.
All right, so back to the question that changed my life.
But that's the season that I'm in.
I'm gonna paint it for you.
I'm in a very, very bad marriage,
an unhealthy marriage, an unsafe marriage.
I've been struggling to keep my head above water
for 12 years in this marriage and in this church,
this church that got increasingly
more and more and more abusive.
As you can see, by the end of the church
where the pastor goes to prison, can you imagine?
Can you imagine what that church was like
in the years that he was running the church,
doing all these things behind the scenes,
corruption, infidelity to his wife,
all kinds of crazy stuff.
Do you think someone like that's a good leader?
Do you think someone like that is teaching
the sound word of God from the pulpit?
No, it got worse and worse and worse.
It didn't start that way, but this is what happens
when people make decisions, you guys.
I love my former pastor.
I bless him.
At the beginning, he made a lot of important deposits
into my life, but when I look back now,
even though I was a young woman,
I can see the deterioration of him.
I don't know what decision it was.
I don't know what straw broke the camel's back,
but somewhere along the line, he lost the plot.
He lost it, and he started doing other things,
things he shouldn't be doing,
things that led him down some dark roads
that hurt a lot of people, and I was one of those people
because that was the only family that I had ever known.
I was practically no contact with my origin family.
My brother had already lost his mind.
He was homeless out on the street somewhere.
I was in a terrible marriage with an emotionally
and verbally and spiritually abusive person,
and I only had one refuge, and that was that church building
and the women that were in it,
and then in one day, we call it Black Tuesday,
the door shut, the truth was revealed,
and everyone scattered in different directions.
You know how the Bible says that they scatter
like sheep without a shepherd?
That's real.
I saw that happen.
People that had been best friends
weren't talking to each other anymore.
Everyone was scared of their own shadow.
No one knew what to believe.
It was a very, very scary time,
and in the midst of that time, you guys,
I made a decision that I had to move forward.
I didn't know what I was gonna do.
I had two jobs.
I was an insurance broker in the morning and during the day,
and at night, I was moonlighting
at this pizza pub place serving tables,
and it's during this season that the man
that's now my husband moved in next door to me.
I'm going through a divorce.
I'm scared.
I'm working two jobs.
I have a little five-year-old daughter,
and then one day, you guys, I'm at the pizza place.
Here's the question.
I was going through, I will say this too.
I was going through what people call a nervous breakdown,
a mental breakdown.
I had lots and lots of anxiety,
lots of fear, lots of depression,
all kinds of things happening,
and so these guys walk in, and they sit down in my section,
and I recognize one of them.
One of them's my new neighbor,
and at that point, I was just Reagan's mom
because he also had a daughter,
and she played with my daughter,
and so hey, you know, Reagan's mom asked if I could do this.
Can I do this?
I'm Reagan's mom, Reagan's mom, Reagan's mom,
and he sits down in the booth
with another guy that I don't know,
and they're in my section on purpose.
They came.
They asked for me.
They sat there, and I went over,
and I started serving them,
and I was really nervous, you guys.
I was nervous because this is my neighbor,
and he is kind of cute, but that's really not why,
but I was just like, uh, you know, they're here,
and I'm in just like the worst season of my life, right,
and I know that I'm just not mentally there,
and I'm not mentally well,
and I'm also not physically well.
I'm skin and bones.
I'm barely weighing in at 125 pounds at five foot 10.
Wearing a size double zero,
just wasting away,
and I'm sitting there,
and this dude that he has with him,
I don't know him,
and he doesn't do any small talk.
I mean, a little bit of like, oh, hey, this is my neighbor.
This is Reagan's mom, Jackie, blah, blah, blah.
I take their order,
and the next time I come back to the table,
this dude hits me with, hey, can I ask you a question?
Where are you gonna be a year from today?
Excuse me, sir?
Excuse me, stranger at my table?
What?
Where are you going to be a year from today?
Now, he didn't hear anything from my neighbor about me.
My neighbor didn't know anything about me,
didn't know what was going on in my life, didn't know me.
This guy comes out with,
where do you wanna be a year from today?
Where are you gonna be a year from today?
Where do you think you're gonna be?
And you guys, that question hit me right in between the eyes.
I believe that it was a God-timed question.
Looking back now, it was the question that changed everything for me.
It's not a question that is unknown.
It's not a question that you've never been asked before.
It's not a question that you don't even ask yourself.
It's not a profound question.
It was a question that was timed perfectly for me to receive.
And I don't even remember what I said, you guys.
I don't.
I don't remember what I said back to him.
But I do know this.
It didn't leave me.
David was quiet, but his friend was not at all.
And then, you know, back to pizza and chatting with them, and I spilled the popcorn, a whole
bunch of funny things happened.
But that question didn't leave me.
And I'm going to ask you that question right now as well.
Where are you going to be this time next year?
June 20th.
I don't know, you guys.
Is today the first day of summer?
Or is it tomorrow or the next day?
I don't know.
June 20th, next year, 2027, where are you going to be?
Maybe this is a better way to ask it.
If nothing changes in your life over the next 12 months, what will still be hurting you
a year from now?
Debt?
You're going to still be in debt, still be lonely, still be struggling with the thing
that you see in the mirror when you look at yourself?
Your weight?
Not being able to wear clothes that you like?
You guys, that was a huge problem for me when I went into menopause.
You know, some people might think that's superficial, but it really, really bothered me that I wasn't
able to wear the clothes in my closet, because I already told you that I really like clothes.
I'm a very creative person, and that is one of the mediums of creativity for me, is clothing.
It really bothered me that I wasn't only not able to wear the clothes in my closet,
but I wasn't able to actually buy clothes that I liked, clothes that I thought were
beautiful or nice, and I couldn't do that because they just didn't make them in my size.
Because remember, it's not so much that I was horribly overweight.
I was probably only about 30 pounds, 40 pounds overweight, but I'm also really tall.
I'm 5'10".
So it's already hard to find clothes.
And in order to find clothes, I have to be, you know, more ideal weight for those clothes,
because they just don't make them.
They don't have a big and tall women's shop.
You guys know that, right?
You can be big, but you can't be tall, and you can be tall, but you can't be big if you're
a woman.
Are you listening to me?
Unless you just want to wear stretchy clothes.
Now you can always wear yoga pants.
You can find those, right?
But you can be big, but you can't be tall, or you can be tall, but you can't be big.
Because they make plus-size clothes for women, but guess what?
They're made for short women.
They're not made for tall women.
And I've gone to every store, so don't tell me that they do have it, because they don't.
And the sizes that they start at when they have bigger clothes are way too big.
So that bothered me, you guys.
You put me in pain, and you might think that, oh, well, Jackie, I got worse pain than that.
Well, yeah, so did I.
But let's not judge each other's pain or each other's hurt.
Where are you going to be hurting a year from now if nothing changes?
Your lack of purpose, your singleness, your loneliness, some health issue that you're
dealing with, your weight, fear, debt?
What is it?
Put it in the chat.
Identify it.
We're not going to fix it right now.
We're just going to identify it.
Put it up.
I'm trying to help y'all.
Yeah, I know which one you're talking about, Michelle, and it's actually for transgender
men, just so you know.
That store in California is for men that are transgender women.
That's why they make those big clothes.
And once again, they're not going to fit a woman who's tall.
Their dimensions are made differently.
Come on, you guys, put it up.
Let's go.
You guys really get honest.
If nothing changes.
And once again, you guys, I can't tell you why that question hit me so hard that day
because it's not an abnormal question.
And I'm sure that I had heard similar questions or even asked myself similar questions before.
But timing matters and this might be your timing today.
This might be your day.
The day that I was at the pizza pub and I was asked that question today might have a
very similar spiritual impact for you because what I know is, is that sometimes it just
takes one day to wake us up.
And for me, it was that day because something shifted in me.
I realized that I could not still be standing in the same place a year later.
I couldn't, I couldn't have the same jobs.
At the time I was hemming and hawing about my divorce.
I wasn't sure if I would go through with it or not, but I knew in that moment that I could
not be in the same marriage that I had been in for the last 12 years that I had literally
tried to get out of every year for 12 years.
I couldn't be making the same excuses.
I couldn't be dealing with the same misery.
Something rose up inside of me.
You call it faith, call it hope, call it grace, call it whatever you want, maybe all three.
But for the first time, I didn't just know the answer.
I knew the answer was no, I will not still be here.
I want you to close your eyes and see if that feeling is rising up inside of you for whatever
it is that you just put in the chat.
The perfect time to have this conversation at Father's Day weekend, because I really
do believe that a lot of us are where we are because of the lack of father leadership.
You could have had a dad, but he was busy working.
He was always gone.
I talked to a young lady yesterday.
She said, yeah, my parents were still married, but my father was never home.
He owned his own business.
He was always gone.
He was never available.
He wasn't part of our lives in any kind of real, meaningful way.
You could have had a dad, but you didn't get that leadership.
Your dad didn't give you advice.
He didn't give you inheritance, and I don't just mean leaving you money in a will when
he passed.
I mean, inheritance now, spiritual inheritance during your life, walking you forward, telling
you truth.
A lot of our parents weren't actualized.
They didn't know a lot of things.
They came from generations where you didn't dig deep.
You didn't do hard work.
They were living very surface lives.
They had all kinds of stuff going on underneath the surface of them that they never bothered
to look into because they didn't know they were allowed to, amen?
I believe that most of us had parents that even if they were not parents that were good,
even if they were abusive in some way, they probably were doing the best they had with
what they, the knowledge that they had, the healing that they had, but you know what were
a whole different generation and we know, but I've seen people that grew up with really
good dads, dads that were emotionally available, physically available, financially available,
and those people are thriving in life.
And I used to sit in the place of the scornful, even after I became a believer where I would,
even if I loved those people, even if they were my good friends inside, I wouldn't feel
jealous of them, but I would feel angry.
I would feel angry that, hey, why did they have such a good start in life?
And if I had had a good start in life, I would be where they are too.
I would have married a good person.
I would be successful.
I would have gone and I would have finished college.
I would, I would have fulfilled my dreams.
I wouldn't have dropped out of basketball.
By the way, I was a really good basketball player.
I probably could have gone pro.
I definitely could have gotten a scholarship for college, but you know what?
I didn't have family support.
I didn't have parental support.
I didn't have what you need at home.
And I know we hear all kinds of stories about people who grow up in homeless shelters and
they still go NBA, they still go pro, they still become some great athletes.
Yeah, those stories are few and far between.
There's a lot more stories of people like me that were athletically gifted that could
have done something with that, that didn't because they didn't have any support at home.
In fact, I was homeless in my high school years.
Cowsurfing, living with some random boyfriend that I had.
Okay, so the bottom line is, is that we all have circumstances that kept us from doing
something great back then.
but it doesn't mean that our lives are over.
It doesn't mean that we can't do something great,
but I used to really envy
and used to really feel kind of angry
towards people who had that good, stable home life,
that had that good father.
Yeah, mother's important too,
but we're talking about father right now
because father is the one that gives you identity.
Father is the one that creates the stability for the home.
If the father isn't stable, then guess what?
The mother is not gonna be either.
She's gonna be running around
wearing a thousand different hats.
And even if she loves you,
and even if she tries her hardest,
it's still not gonna be enough without that father.
I really hope by the end of this call
that you decide to really release these people,
release your father.
We might even do the father's blessing.
David does that.
We might even think about doing that here this coming week.
But here's where we get stuck, you guys.
I heard the question.
I knew the answer was no, I can't still be here.
But I couldn't just want change.
I couldn't just pray for change.
I'd already been praying for change.
That's probably why this guy showed up in my booth
at the pizza parlor and asked me a supernatural question.
I can't just talk about change.
We can't just think about change.
We also can't play victim where,
oh yeah, well, I would be able to do this
if I had a better childhood.
I would have been able to do this
if I wasn't in an abusive marriage.
I could do this if I didn't have this health condition
or this situation.
You guys, we can make excuses all day long.
We can.
But I promise you for whatever excuse you have,
you can Google who overcame this thing in their life
and you can put whatever it is in there.
You guys, there's a dude right now
and I'm sure you've seen him.
He doesn't have any arms or legs.
He was born as a torso, okay?
Seriously.
His name's Nick.
He's a Christian.
He's a believer.
He was born as a torso, y'all.
That's all he has.
He's just a torso.
You're like, what?
I'm like, yes, yes.
He has no extremities, none.
And this dude is a multimillionaire,
motivational speaker, Christian leader, influencer.
He's climbed mountains.
He's swam oceans.
He's done triathlon things.
He's married to a hot baddie woman.
I don't know, y'all.
Make it make sense.
He had babies, so apparently he's got plumbing
even though he doesn't have legs
and praise the Lord for that.
I just wanna let you guys know,
I know a lot of men
and they would much rather be born without legs
than without a penis.
Okay, I'm just gonna tell you that right now.
What would Supernatural Saturday be
without a little bit of off-color commentary
from Jackie Dorman?
Because you guys, God has a sense of humor.
I just wanna let you know that.
He does.
That's why we have humor.
We've been created in his image.
All right.
So you guys, I just wanna let you know
that change will never happen
because you feel like it.
So whatever your feelings are telling you against change,
they don't have the final vote.
They don't.
Because feelings can't change you
and feelings can't keep you from changing
unless you let them.
I was waiting for some huge supernatural shift in my life.
I was waiting to be rescued.
And if you are waiting to be rescued still right now,
you guys, I wanna let you know
that you were already rescued on a rugged cross
and that rescue is finished.
You already have a hero.
You're not looking for a hero.
Ladies, you're not looking for your husband, the hero,
to ride in your knight in shining armor.
That should be your first clue.
Shining armor means dude hasn't been to battle.
We don't want shining armor.
We want beat up bloody armor.
But we're not looking for a hero, you guys.
We're not.
And gentlemen, you're not waiting for a woman to show up
and to nag you into doing what you know you're supposed to do.
You don't need a mommy.
You're not waiting for a mommy to show up
in the version of your wife to mother you
and to make you take your vitamins
and not get on the roof in the middle of an electric storm.
My husband the other day, I'm like,
what are we doing right now, bro?
Why are you on a metal ladder in the storm?
What are we doing?
I firmly believe that God looked at Adam in the garden
and said, this guy's not gonna make it.
I'm gonna need to give him a help, mate.
with a little more common sense.
There's a reason why, friends,
the Darwin Award is only handed out to men.
For those of you that don't know what that is,
that is award that they used to give
for someone who died in the most
uncommon sense way.
They basically removed themselves from the gene pool
is why it's called the Darwin Award.
And it's mostly given out to young men,
as you can imagine.
And every time I see a young man
going 110 miles an hour on the freeway,
on his motorcycle, doing a wheelie,
I'm like, dear Jesus, this is why you created women.
Somewhere in that young man's life,
there's a woman that says,
you're gonna kill yourself, stop it.
And guess what?
In that moment, I am that woman
because I'm praying for that young man.
I'm like, Lord, please give this young man some sense.
Please don't let him die today.
Please wake him up.
Please help him.
And that's why, gentlemen,
you have wives and mothers and sisters,
one of the main reasons.
Comedic commentary done.
Let's get back to serious business.
You're not gonna wake up one day
and magically feel disciplined, okay, friends?
You're not gonna wake up one day
and suddenly wanna go to the gym.
I promise you that's probably not gonna happen.
You're not gonna wake up one day
when you've been a spender, spender, spender,
McSpender and decide that you want a budget.
You're not gonna crave a budget
like you crave a Big Mac and fries from McDonald's.
And don't tell me you don't eat at McDonald's
because there's a reason McDonald's is still open.
Somebody's eaten there.
You're not going to.
You're not gonna crave a budget.
You guys, I do Simbis premarital coaching
and one of the sections is financial
and it's like, do you have a budget?
And some people are like, what's a budget?
And other people are like,
yeah, I thought about it one time.
You're not gonna crave it.
Especially if you're used to living in debt,
all your credit cards are maxed out,
you live off your credit cards,
you pay the minimum balance.
Look, if you're a minimum balance payer, mm-mm, baby.
Mm-mm, that's a trap.
You're never getting out.
And you're like, Jackie, what do you know about it?
I know everything about it, friend.
I was sent to live in a girl's home by my family.
I lived in foster homes.
I couch surfed.
I smoked dirty cigarette butts off the street
that other people left behind.
I scrounged around for change in couches
to buy said cigarettes.
I did all of that, okay?
I sold kids' lunches in the coat room.
I sold snacks from kids' lunches in the coat room
because my mom, my single mom didn't pack me lunch.
I know all about it.
I know about it as a believer.
I mean, I started knowing Jesus when I was 22 years old
and I worked several jobs at the same time
and still didn't have enough money
to pay rent, live life.
There was never anything extra.
My former husband was in college.
We were kids.
I know all about it.
I know about the poverty of divorce.
I know about child support that's never enough.
I know about strained relationships.
I know about it.
I have, listen, I have a little bit of experience
in pretty much anything and everything
you could ever want me to have experience in.
But we also have an advocate, a high priest
that understands all of our weaknesses,
all of our frailties, all of our fears,
all of our pains, and his name is Jesus Christ.
And he is interceding for you
at the right hand of the father.
What does that mean?
He wants you to make it.
And he doesn't want you to make it
by the hair of your chitty chin chin, menopausal ladies.
He wants you to make it
with flying colors, amen?
Because you may not have had an earthly father
that gave you an inheritance,
but you have a heavenly father that gave you an inheritance.
You are fathered.
And the proof of that is Jesus Christ.
So you're not gonna wake up one day
and suddenly feel courageous.
You're not gonna wake up one day
and be excited about the difficult conversations
that you know you need to have with someone.
Because some of you, that's what's in your way.
You got some relationships that are holding you back.
And you've let them hold you back
for years and years and years and years.
Guys, after I married David, I had a dream and in that dream, I was telling this spiritual
leader in my life about all the amazing things that I thought God had called me and David
to, everything that I wanted to do, everything I was hoping for.
And he looked at me in that dream and they said, do you know the one thing that you lack?
And then I woke up.
He said, that's great, Jackie, you're going to accomplish all these things, but you lack
one thing.
Do you want to know what it is?
Yes.
Tell me.
I woke up.
I'm like, no.
What's the answer?
And Holy Spirit said, discipline.
Immediately.
As soon as I woke up and I was like, oh, I was like, what was it?
Holy Spirit was like, discipline.
The one thing that you lack is discipline.
If you want these things that you said you wanted in this dream, you're going to have
to have a lot more discipline.
So friends, it's not God holding you back.
He wants these things for you more than you want them for yourself.
Whatever you put in the chat.
He doesn't want you to be broke and busted and disgusted.
He doesn't want that for you.
It doesn't give him any glory.
I know a lot of people think that your suffering brings God glory.
No, your victory brings God glory, not your suffering.
The Bible says that if we suffer with Christ, we can be resurrected with Christ.
We can be glorified with Christ.
A lot of us stop at the suffering part.
We're like, well, to be a Christian means to suffer.
We're going to suffer.
Yeah, you're going to suffer just because the world is full of suffering.
But let's not stop there.
Let's be, let's get the victory.
Shall we get the victory?
I remember when I first married David, he said, Jackie, you just need to get the victory.
And I said, well, you know, I'm really not that comfortable with victory.
I really wasn't that comfortable with victory, you guys.
I didn't really know a lot about victory.
I knew a lot about suffering.
Some of you are sitting in that same place.
You know a lot about suffering, but you don't really know anything about victory.
You know what?
God wants to give you a PhD in victory for the last six months of 2026.
How about that?
Because it isn't God that's holding you back.
It might be religion, but it's not God.
It's not lack of permission.
Jesus's blood, that permission slip was signed in blood, friends.
You have permission to what?
To prosper, even as your soul prospers.
You have permission to excel.
You have permission to be well.
You have permission to enjoy and love your life.
You really do.
Why would anyone want to sign up for something, especially in the year 2026, with all the
conveniences and all the distractions?
Why would anyone want to sign up for something that was just all about hardship and suffering?
Do you think you're converting anyone?
Do you think your life is evangelistic?
Yeah, we're going to have hard times, but they're not supposed to all be hard times.
You guys, the thing that's holding up most of us back is the discipline to walk it out.
You can pray for that every single day because once the excitement wears off, once the motivation
of this call, the emotionalism of it wears off, when the progress is slow, and it probably
will be because that's what progress looks like most times, it looks like one step, two
steps, 10 steps forward, two steps back, one step, two step, 10 steps forward.
Where's the lack of discipline that you have?
Where's it costing you?
Just be honest.
There's no shame.
It's just awareness.
Where's it costing you?
Is it costing you in your finances?
Is it costing you in your health?
Is it costing you in your relationships?
Let's get real.
You guys, pain is an amazing motivator.
I'm thankful for pain because most of us will not get motivated until we're in it.
Wouldn't it be beautiful if we could be motivated without pain and struggle?
If we're just the kind of people that just wake up and be like, yeah, I'm going to conquer
this.
Yeah, I'm not in pain yet.
A lot of us even see the pain coming down the road.
We see the check engine light on the car.
It's on.
But instead of allowing it to motivate us to change, we wait until we're broke down
on the side of the road.
Am I wrong?
I want to be wrong, but I know that we're not.
I know that I'm not.
And you guys, in the year 2026, the reason why pain is not motivating us the way that
it would have 20, 30 years ago is because we have a lot more things to medicate it now.
We've always had food to medicate it, which is why there's a lot of fat people.
Because food has always been there for us.
It's always been there for us to medicate.
The sugar McSugars, they've been there for us for a long time.
But now we got all kinds of other things.
We got scrolling.
You guys, we got a devil in our pocket.
We do.
This demon of lack of discipline of scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, numb out,
numb out, numb out.
We have on-demand.
Remember, you guys, we all remember when you had to wait for a certain day and hour of
the week to watch your favorite show.
Now you can binge, binge, binge, binge, binge.
You guys, I believe it's all a plot of the enemy.
I just want to let you guys know that.
I know people are like, oh, beautiful technology, convenience.
This is amazing.
No, you guys, it's not amazing.
It's the enemy's plot to keep us stuck, scrolling, shopping online, getting more in debt, busy,
another hobby, another distraction, another excuse, anything except feeling the loneliness,
feeling the pull, the tug, the pressure, feeling it.
What do you do to avoid discomfort?
Put it in the chat right now.
We only have a few minutes left.
Is it food?
Is it social media?
Is it work?
Are you a workaholic?
But you're not getting ahead?
Maybe some of you have a lot of money.
You have a lot of money in the bank because all you do is work, work, work, work, work,
work, work.
You don't even enjoy your life.
I have a friend like that.
The other day I said to her, I was like, hey, let's go do this.
She goes, oh, that's too expensive.
I'm like, you have tons of money.
All you do is work.
When are you going to enjoy what you've been working for?
When are you going to enjoy your life?
Shopping, sleeping.
Some of you like to sleep.
Some of you still can sleep.
Some of you can still nap.
Are you kidding me right now?
What?
You guys, I want to, I tell you, I am, I have been personally envious of people who can
just sit down and fall asleep anywhere.
My husband's like that.
Sleep on a plane.
You can sleep on a train.
You can sleep.
You know, it's like the green eggs and ham book.
Green eggs and ham book.
Do you like them here or there?
He can sleep anywhere.
Meanwhile, I'm on a 16-hour flight just watching him snore and thinking that I want to suffocate
him in his sleep pretty much.
He's in the kitchen.
He just said, you're dumb.
All right.
Daydreaming.
Come on.
Let's see the medicators.
Let's go.
Dog videos.
Who was that?
Donna.
Donna's medicating herself with dog videos, y'all.
Love it.
Some of you, some of you are not putting out the truth.
Put it out.
You're like, well, Jackie, I can't put porn in the chat.
No, you probably can't.
But you know what?
God sees and he knows where you're stuck, friend.
No judgment.
No shame.
But there are people on this call that are medicating themselves with porn and masturbation.
And they're probably not going to put it in the chat.
And that's okay.
But you can just go ahead and say it to the Lord right now.
Say, hey, God, I need delivered from this.
I don't want to live this way anymore.
Come on.
And some woman was like, yep, it's probably that guy right there.
No, it's probably a girl, actually.
Women do porn, too, y'all.
Well, they don't just do porn.
I don't mean like they're porn stars.
They watch porn.
Women are addicted to masturbation, too.
Wow, this call just took a whole different turn.
Okay.
You guys, we have to feel the pain.
The pain of debt, the pain of being broke, the pain of going to bed with the pressure
of knowing that you can only make the minimum payment and you're never going to pay off
this debt, the weight that you're carrying that doesn't belong on your body.
You don't want your pictures taken.
You're hiding behind people and pictures.
You're avoiding mirrors.
The pain of loneliness, the pain of waking up every day and feeling like you don't have
anything to look forward to.
You guys, that's painful.
You're living the same day over and over again.
It's like that Groundhog Day movie.
But instead of numbing the pain, we have to feel it.
We have to let it teach us, motivate us and not just motivate us for a minute.
An invitation, you guys.
So right now, whatever you answer the question with, where will you be this time last year?
I know we're going a little over.
I don't care.
I want you to tell me in the chat, where do you want to be this time next year?
Put it in the chat right now.
Where do you want to be a year from now?
Come on.
Get it up.
Don't put eight things.
have changed this time next year.
And I know everyone wants to be married, but you guys, some of you, that's not what you
should want.
I'm not saying that you don't want that and you shouldn't want it, but there's something
even bigger that you need to have changed in the next year.
And if you don't have it change, you won't be married.
You're not ever gonna get married, actually,
unless you work on this thing.
It's like Jenga.
You have to pull this block out first.
You have to.
Because even if you did get married,
the whole thing is gonna fall down.
Because this is the thing.
This is the thing.
And some of you, this is the reason why
you're not married yet.
Because you refuse to work on this thing
or focus on this thing
because you just want the other payoff.
Marriage is almost a medicator for you.
You think it's gonna fix all your problems.
You think it's gonna make everything better,
but it's not going to.
Because these are the things that are screaming
at you in the face every day.
Trust me, you don't wanna get married broke.
You don't wanna get married desperately in debt.
You don't wanna get married with health problems
that you could fix just by diet and exercise,
by changing habits.
You don't wanna do that.
Come on, put it up.
Get honest with yourself.
Okay, now whatever you put in the chat,
I want you to work backward.
Come on, this is the work that you're gonna do tomorrow
if you show up for Sunday.
Show up for Sunday.
This is the work you're gonna do.
What would I have to think about myself right now
to make this true a year from now?
Who would I have to become?
What habits would I need to develop?
What thoughts would I need to stop thinking?
What thoughts would I need to start thinking?
What excuses would I have to stop making?
I'll make sure that I put this in both the men's
and the women's groups, these questions right here,
because I have them written down.
What would I need to do starting today,
this week, this month?
Because you guys know that your future,
a year from now is gonna be built by every day,
the next 365 days and the 24 hours in each of those days.
You have to do today well,
even when you don't feel like it.
That's how people become successful.
That's how people create change.
All right, go ahead.
We're gonna make a declaration.
Fill in the blank right now here in the chat.
One year from now, I will be blank.
Healthy, wealthy, free, debt-free.
You can put a weight.
You can put 125 pounds.
You can put disease-free, whatever it is.
Put it in.
Great credit, wealthy, healthy.
Come on, put it in, put it in, put it in, put it in,
put it in, put it in, put it in.
I like these.
And you guys, just because you're choosing this
doesn't mean you're not gonna get married.
I just wanna let you know that.
In fact, if you will focus on the most important thing,
the thing that is about to blow up,
the bomb that's about to go off in your life
and destroy your life,
if you will focus on the check engine light
that's on right now,
I promise you marriage will just be a bonus.
It'll be the gravy on top.
It'll be the cherry on top.
Some of you got the cart way before the horse.
All right, whatever you put in the chat just now,
everyone look at each other's.
I want you to fill in this blank now.
The first step I will take this coming week
to make this other declaration true is blank.
Not someday y'all, this week.
The first step that I will take this week,
because remember, you have the goal in mind
now you're walking backwards.
What are you gonna have to be?
Who are you, how are you gonna have to think?
What excuses do you have to stop making?
What's the first step that you're gonna take this week?
This week.
Come on, put it up, put it up, put it up, come on.
Some of you need to get off your phone.
You need to get a dumb phone.
That means not connected to the internet.
You're like, but Jackie, how will I drive anywhere?
Get one of those little GPS's for your car.
That's all it is.
Do you guys know that they sell this thing right now.
This is how bad it's gotten.
They sell this thing and it's like a phone,
but it's not a phone.
Your emergency contacts can call it,
so you can use it as a phone, but you can't text from it.
It works as a GPS.
You can't get on any type of social media with it.
You can't scroll the internet with it.
It's basically a phone and a GPS.
That's it.
All right, you guys are putting up some things.
Let's hold each other accountable to the things
that we would need to do this week
to be able to make the year from now.
Now declaration, friends, God is for you.
He is with you.
I believe he asked me that question through that man that I did not know that day 20 years
ago, 20 years ago, because I promise you this, you guys, next year is going to come whether
you change or not.
Five years from now is going to come whether you change or not.
10, 15, 20 years is going to come whether you change or not.
But you can change and God is for you and he is with you and you will change.
If you will just start doing these little actions of discipline.
Father God, we just thank you for your goodness and your love.
We're asking that you would seal this in that shift that happened to me 20 years ago.
That day, that shift.
Yes, it wasn't easy.
It was painful.
It hurts to make those changes.
It was hard, but every step of the way you are with me and you continue to spur me on.
And so, Lord, I declare right now that that will be true of each and every one of your
sons and daughters that are serious about they don't want to be sick and tired anymore,
Lord.
They're sick and tired of being sick and tired.
They're ready for change.
They're ready for whatever it takes.
They're ready to do the work, Lord, in your grace and in your mercy, Lord, help them to
do today well and tomorrow well and the next day well until they are living in the beautiful
destiny that you created them to live in, until they're living in the declaration that
they made today.
And it'd be done.
So accelerate the process, Lord.
Help them to see that if they will put an effort, God, that you will take it the rest
of the way.
You will bless that effort.
You will multiply that effort and they will get where they're going a lot faster than
they ever dreamed possible.
In Jesus name.
Amen.
Love y'all.