All right, gentlemen, Monday, June 22nd, Men's Heart Check-in.
So we got started a little late, had to get Jackie started going on her other thing and
welcome you guys.
So we've just been chatting here, a couple of you guys, I'm going to share some, some,
some wins.
So go ahead.
Christopher, I think you had a question and you were going to bring something to the table.
So go ahead with that brother.
Yeah, I am, I am about to go over the bridge and then I will have a golden signal.
So sorry if I cut off in the next 30 seconds, but the, so yeah, I had a date, this is someone
I met, end of April, we were starting to chat on Holi, the dating app.
And we've had, I think this is date number seven.
I'd have to go back and count, but we're getting at the end of kind of, end of June is going
to be the two months, the 60 days.
And so I was really starting to get to the point where I wanted to maybe talk about some
of our pasts and just, just see some things that were still kind of up in the air about,
you know, is this going to be a good match?
Is this something, she's been really hesitant to like pull the trigger on anything more
serious than just dating, which I'm fine with.
You guys taught me good, slow, slow, steady.
Don't go crazy.
Don't be jumping into everything before it's time.
And the question that came out after we had some deep conversations was she is feeling
a bit intimidated about stepping into a relationship with someone who has had, who was happily
married.
My wife died just over nine years ago from cancer.
And she just admitted to me that it's, she was feeling a little bit intimidated on what
she has to offer someone with that kind of testimony.
And we didn't really get much deeper into it because you know, it was, it was a tough
topic and I didn't, uh, what I actually said during the moment, I said, Hey, I just want
you to know I'm not shopping for a replacement and you are incredibly unique.
And I, you know, I don't know if it makes you feel better, but you couldn't be more
different than her.
And I like you for you.
So that's kind of where we left it, um, moved on to, to more fun things.
So I don't know, that was the question I wanted to ask is like, is, how can I go forward if
that, that is going to come up again?
I know it is.
So what is, did I handle it well?
Should I handle it better?
What can I do in the future?
What step is appropriate for me to kind of go deeper into that?
Cause I do have deeper stuff on that topic.
What, what date was, um, remind me what meeting was this?
What number is this?
This is either six or seven.
Oh, okay.
So you're, you're, you're definitely in the really getting to know the person's stage.
Yes.
It wasn't like the first date or anything.
No, no, no.
Yeah.
I know.
I mean, I mean, as you're getting to know somebody, have you made an exclusive, um,
situation with this person?
I, and that's another thing that we kind of, I've kind of just brought it up and then it
was kind of like, that's actually what led to the conversation.
Cause I said, Oh, okay.
I get it.
What's that step between, you know, you're just dating and girlfriend, what's the difference?
And it kind of led to that because that's, I'm trying to figure out, we, we are both
exclusive with each other just out of happenstance and we decided to just keep it that way a
couple of days ago.
So, um, but no, there hasn't been like a, she's very hesitant on the girlfriend aspect
for right.
At least this is part of it.
I don't know if it's all of it.
The only exclusivity you're having is because right now you're just, you're just making
time for just this connection for the moment.
It's not like if you went out with somebody or she went out with somebody on a, like a
date or she was just talking to somebody else for a second, it wouldn't be offensive to
either of you because you really haven't made it some sort of like exclusive commitment
to say, Hey, we're dating.
You know, you really haven't had that definition of the relationship at this point, but I will
say this, you know, yeah, I mean, obviously I think actually, I know it's with some commonality
that there are other people that are widows and widowers, but I think at your age, especially
being young, um, it's less common, right?
So it's something definitely that's, I've been in that case is rather unique to the
situation in your specific date story.
You're dating in romantic.
Story, so it is very specific. Especially if the person is aware of
The fact that you are a widower
And whenever that came into the conversation or whatever it does, it's completely appropriate
I don't think that she it doesn't sound like you spent a lot of time to dwell on it
And then you just kind of moved on so you answer the question and moved on and it's kind of like
Do I answer this question? Do I stay on this question? Is this a really deep topic to talk about?
Probably not right now
so it kind of sounds like you just kind of like did it because the question came up and
Then you got off of it and then you enjoyed the rest of the night
So it wasn't like it took over the the rest of the conversation
but it was something that she just kind of needed to handle in the moment, which
May or may not be
I
Think I think the timing of it is arbitrary in this case, you know, I don't think it was like
Oh that was too soon or oh, she should have known that early
You know, I don't think the timing was an issue
I think it was just kind of like it was what it was and the question came up and you you handled it and it
didn't
seem to cause an issue and
It wasn't something that you had to
Because I don't think
Christopher I don't think that you want to sit there and like have a deep huge discussion on the set even on the 7th date
about that topic like
It's like that's for another time
You know a deeper conversation seems like but it seems like you got on the question he answered it and went on
So I'm I'm of two minds on it because I am trying to
To follow the good advice that that the program has given me and what?
Other people have given me and you guys have given me the because I do tend to go do too deep too soon
It's just and I would be tempted to do the whole rollout and just let's talk about it
Let's spend an hour. Let's yeah choke up
but yeah, I
do I sensed in the moment I need to let her talk if she wanted to and
Bring up things and it seemed that
You know at that moment. She wasn't quite ready to get
Down old Chris and
Proceeded and I think that was the right call. I think you're right
yeah, I know I think I think it sounds like and considering that information as well because I can I can tell
that's kind of like that doesn't surprise me you saying that like yeah, oh I
Normally would go just hard into the paint on that conversation just because it's so deep with you
It's so emotional. It's so near and dear and you just want somebody to know and
I think you handled it correctly because it's like she should know sort of the short answer to that
I guess because she was asking the question, but then at the same time, it's just like yeah in order for go
Deep in that conversation. That's probably something that just needs to be rolled out over time and
You know, most things are usually especially deep
Serious harder questions
most of those situations are
Better as they roll out over time in pieces rather than all at once
really
Even even at any stage in the relationship, which I think it just helps
there'll be obviously sometimes where you're just having some you getting to know this person and you're really deep in and
Then you really have some strong heart-to-hearts about stuff
But if everything is always a long heart-to-heart drag out like that can get really
Tiresome unless unless you're both the kind of people that love that and then it's kind of like, okay
I don't necessarily know
How that's gonna work out
Much the same sometimes in that way
Maybe it's then you're really gonna get caught up in the weeds. So but anyway, um at the same time, it's like yeah
There's those things are usually
Held better when they just kind of come out over time and
Just let it kind of naturally come out rather than trying to solve all of the equation
All in one sitting. Okay, that's that's a pretty heavy meal
Yes, yeah, and that and yeah, she this is actually the first time
she is so I
Keep telling you play your cards real close to your chest
Like I cannot I'm used to a lot of women pretty much every serious and even casual relationship
I've had in the dating world. I know exactly what they're thinking because they've already told me five times. Yeah. Yes
Yeah, this one. No, like there are times where my
you know brain would spin out of control because I'm used to being completely secure with how happy they are and
I had no idea and then we'd get on the next date after I freaked out for two days because I think she is like
And then she's like, hey
You know, I just want to say, you know, I'm glad you're so thoughtful, and I'm really
enjoying this.
And I'm like, what the heck?
How did I read this so wrong?
So she's just very and she admitted to me on the date.
On Saturday.
She's just like, I'm not as good with expressing myself, as I feel like I should be.
And like most women are and I'm like, all right, you know, that's some self awareness.
So yeah, we did we did bring that up and and I'm feeling I'm feeling good about I mean,
I can't good.
I can't help but feel good about it.
I wish we had you know, we could but that's me being old me.
So we're gonna leave that one.
Yeah, no, it sounds like it sounds like it's your pacing.
Pretty good with that.
I like that.
Sounds like it's not too much.
It's enough, but it's not too much.
And it's by the necessity is she works.
I met the only woman in the entire world that works more than I do.
So what does she do?
She is she's got two gigs.
She is a marketing manager for Chick-fil-A, which is a big thing.
And then she has a side gig training dogs just to try to make making ends meet in California.
It's a lot of fun as a, you know, single income earner.
She's definitely the queen of the hustle.
I'll give her that.
I can imagine.
Wow.
OK, yeah, no, that sounds really promising, Christopher.
So I'm happy for you.
And yeah, we'll see where that goes.
Did you feel once you answer that question in the affirmative like, hey, no.
Yeah, no, I'm not really.
I can't remember exactly what her question was.
The phrasing of it.
How does she answer the question?
Well, we were just sitting and kind of having a.
Oh, you cut out question, what is the what is the difference between what we're doing
now and being girlfriend, boyfriend, like, what does that look like?
Because I didn't I guess I didn't really know in the moment.
And she said, well.
And I asked, what's your hesitance?
And and and she said.
I just don't know.
Like, it's intimidating.
So, yeah, being in your life, knowing that you're a widower
and what you've gone through and yeah, yeah, that's that's so less.
Yeah, she just wants to know, like, where does she how does she compare?
How does she stand with like what in your mind are you
basically judging her against in terms of,
you know, the the wife who has now passed?
Yeah, so I can understand that.
Yeah. And did you feel did you feel good about not not just how you answered it,
but the fact that you answered it in the in in the way you did
and sort of cleared the air without having to go deep?
Did you feel good, at least just.
You know, bridging that.
You know, I do.
Are you glad that it came up, I guess, is what I'm saying.
Yeah. Yes, absolutely.
And I do want to go deeper a bit.
I kind of want to make sure that I put.
And I've already said this, so I guess I shouldn't be so I just won't tell it.
No, you are utterly unique.
And I am what I want to say.
And I'm not going to because I think it's just too much at this point is.
Yeah, I am incredibly honored by the fact that I get to
the fact that I get to develop feelings for someone
who is so vastly different than the one that I had before.
Yeah. Yet I like she just has so many unique traits that I'm also attracted to.
It's just weird how lucky am I that I found two different women
in two different worlds that I actually am kind of falling for.
But I don't want to go quite there yet.
Yeah, yeah. No, that's that's that's probably pretty good.
That's a little. Yeah.
That's good.
At some point, there'll be a moment where I think probably you can express that.
So sounds like it was really.
Well, it sounds like she's a slow mover and and staying, staying the course.
Yes. Like just just like, you know, like David said, as it comes out,
like offloading a shopping cart is just never fun.
You know, but like a horse.
I don't want to. Yeah.
Well, it comes out naturally.
It comes out naturally.
It's so much better than like.
Having a principles or whatever, like, you know, like, you know,
like you want to keep it fun and keep it light and enjoyable.
And if you're talking about a lot of different things,
it can get really intense and heavy, right? Yeah.
Yeah, the first many dates, I would say the first couple of months,
you know, whether that's two or three or four dates
or whether that ends up being like 12 or 15 dates, depending on.
on how available you each other are in the first several months
of getting to know somebody, I would, I would, I feel like the
first three months or so is just, just a lot about just
getting to know each other on a very like surface somewhat under
the skin, maybe way, and just having lots of fun and enjoying,
enjoying the company, enjoying just getting to know that whole
flow, you know, and then you get into, um, and it's not a
timeframe, it's just a sort of, you know, kind of like, you
know, like you're feeling these guidelines to where it becomes
like, at some point, you do define the relationship, you're
like, hey, you know, I'm really into you seems like you're
really into me. Um, we've been getting to get to know each
other. This has been some great time. I've really been enjoying
myself. I hope you have to, you know, it's probably, you know,
I'd like to, I'd like to see you and talk to you exclusively, not
that I was actually dating anybody else. But I just want to,
you know, formally kind of make that make that way. And so at
some point, I think, once you feel that strong about it,
you're like, yeah, I'm willing to like, move this forward into
let's see the see where this goes. You know, are you ready
in exclusive committed way? That's the differentiator. It's
like, look, I, it's not that I was dating anybody. But before
now, I feel like if I had went out with somebody else, it
wouldn't have been a problem. But at this point, I want to let
you know, I'm committed to seeing you exclusively at this
point. And whatever you want to whatever label you want to put
on that it's whatever but you know, the exclusivity is the
point. And hopefully that person reciprocates in the same
way. And this could be the guy or the girl saying this. I don't
it's only, you know, you know, who's saying it. I'd probably
like the guy to be leading in this. But I mean, I don't think
it's wrong, either way. But at the same time, you want the
feelings to be mutual. Yeah, and it doesn't have to be weird. And
so as long as it's mutual, and you go levels, you know, you
progress the relationship into a stage where now, um, you have
the intention of like, hey, I'm really getting to know this
person. They're my exclusive person that I'm dating. And
we're a couple and we show up as a couple and, and at some point,
we're probably going to get engaged, or possibly could
get engaged. That's tomorrow. Maybe not for a little bit.
And I think that's the mistake I might have made early is I told
her I think date three, I said, Look, I'm not going to be
dating anyone until I figure out what if this the two of us are
gonna work. So that's just me. Didn't really say anything
about it necessarily needed to be said. Yes. And, but I think
maybe the idea that putting a label on it, maybe we're not
there yet. But the whole showing up as a couple, I think that is
the step that I'm like, okay, when does that happen? The fact
that we're still not at that point where everyone's going,
wow, you've been dating this chick a lot. She doesn't want to
show up to an event together. Like, okay, I'm feeling a bit
better about the timeline now. Because I was kind of like,
seeing that 60 days approach. And I'm like, should I are
something? There be a star or something?
Yeah, no, it has to be it has to be reciprocal. I mean, you have
to sort of like, you don't have to feel out like, I think she
would probably say yes, if I if I pose this to her. And if you
have any doubt, it's probably not the time of it. You know, so
it's a timing issue. It's a timing thing. And these things
can actually surprisingly can happen more naturally than you
think. I mean, they don't have to be, you know, formally
exercised, like a document signing it, you know, type of
thing. Yeah, it's just it's just like, it's just relational.
That's all it is.
But I guess I I'm feeling now. Okay, letting it walk out some
more. Yeah, I just, I don't know why I try to put timelines on
everything and like countdowns. I just always feel like I'm on
the back foot in that. And I guess that's my old, kind of my
old unhealed stuff still coming up. That's why we keep doing
hard work, folks.
That's right. That is that is right. And again, I mean, it is
because that's right. When you put a time frame on it, some
people, you know, get weirded out, because they're really
counting those days, other people, they need the timeframe,
because it's like, bro, it's like, you know, if I don't give
you a timeframe or give you a deadline, it's never gonna get
done. So I mean, it's people go both ways. So yeah, don't let it
be don't let it be
a distraction, the timing.
Don't let that be a huge, big breaking point for you.
Just kind of let it roll out as naturally as you can.
I'm excited.
There's still discovery stuff to do.
Sounds like you're more there than not.
I do.
Awesome.
Yeah.
All right, all right, good.
Thank you, Christopher, for sharing.
That's awesome.
Who else is on here?
We've got Rodney, Tim, David, Blake, Christopher.
And if you guys have anything else,
I want to give everybody a chance to chime in.
Do you have something to comment on Christopher's thing?
That's fine if you do.
But if you also have something else,
you want to bring the table, question, comment, a win,
something's going on in your life, go ahead.
Yeah, I had a quick question.
I just finished my hard work, and so I
moved on to the next section.
I love Accelerator.
And Jackie was talking about kind of sending
that mass text to friends.
Is that something that the guys have been doing?
Just kind of letting your friends
know that you're single and ready to mingle and all that?
Yeah, well, I mean, something we talk about in, I don't know,
do you have the dating sex book?
What was that?
Do you have the Modern Dating Sucks book?
No, I haven't got that one yet.
OK, I mean, that's Jackie's latest book.
The reason I'm bringing that up is because in the book,
one of the things that she talks about
is setting up sort of your relationship circle.
And this is kind of like where you
are letting your friends and your family and your people
that you know and that you care about
and people that care about you, yeah,
letting them sincerely and just genuinely know, hey,
I'm single.
And if you know anybody that you feel
like that you think I would be interested in meeting
or they'd be interested in meeting me, I'm open to that.
And I would really appreciate your help.
And that because what we're promoting here
is community-based matchmaking, which is exactly that.
And unfortunately, the sense of community,
the sense of solidarity among friends and family
has been so degraded in our society
that it's kind of rare sometimes to have to depend
or can depend upon it because those groups sometimes just
don't naturally occur as much anymore.
Some people have really good friendships,
and it just happens in the course of their community.
But sometimes it requires a little bit of effort.
And sending out the email or sending a note to friends
and say, hey, I'm on this journey.
I've been doing my hard work.
This is you know me.
You know where I've come from.
You know my story.
Maybe if you don't, here's a little bit of that.
And help me.
I'm ready to meet somebody.
I really want to go about it the right way.
I'm not trying to get married tomorrow.
But at the same time, I really would love your input.
And so.
Yeah, a couple.
Is there a template, kind of like a little template
letter in the book?
I'm trying to think.
It's not like a visual in the book.
But I'm trying to remember the copy that's in that chapter.
Maybe like list these things in your letter.
Yeah, I think there's.
I could be wrong.
I'll have to get a copy of that and double check.
Matter of fact, I think I have one right here.
Hold on.
All right.
You know, I turned.
It was a lot harder than I thought.
I turned several of my friends loose.
I was like, hey, you know.
And even some of my female friends.
I'm like, hey, you know anybody?
Like, that would be a good fit.
Let's go, you know.
Did you get, how did that go for you?
Did you get?
I've had a couple of setups.
Neither of them have worked thus far.
One, yeah.
Yeah, you know, Jackie's like, you know, she corrected.
She's like, you know, Mike, only like 3% of women are avoidant.
And I'm like, well, I think I found them all.
What was that?
Only 3% of women are avoidant.
And I'm like, I think I found all of them.
All 3%.
Yeah, so to answer your question, Rodney, there's a part of the book where it's called
activating your relationship advisory circle. Oh, okay.
And in chapter four, she introduces the idea of this small group of people that you know
well enough that, you know, to reach out and vouch for you and care for you and that kind
of stuff. And then, but later on in the book, she outlines kind of like some of the things
that you would want to share with your circle. Okay.
And some of the details about that in order to give you sort of an outline to either write
an email or write a letter or have a phone call or send a voicemail, whatever, whatever
you want to do that lets them know and what you're looking for, because the book then
takes has already at that point, because that's later in the book, the book has already taken
you through a lot of the character values, faith, life direction, the emotional availability
parts that what are already have outlined for yourself throughout the rest of the work
in the book. And then, so you already have that because you've been through that part
of the book. And then now it's just about assembling that information and then sharing
that with your advisory circle. Okay. Yeah. That was going to be my next question
is kind of like what and how much to share about what I'm looking for in a person.
Well, your relationship advisory circle is usually anywhere from three to five people.
It's not, it's not any more than that. It's not any less than that. You know, it's not
like the whole world. So you're talking about a small group of people, a very specific group
of people that know you well care about you that like, you know, in, in different ways,
they could be family members, they could be friends, they could be coworkers, they could
be gym partners, they could be business associates, but there are people that know and care about
you and people that you trust, you know, not, not just random. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So you're going to get pretty detailed with them about what it is that you're sharing
about, Hey, in my heart work, you know, these are a couple of things I learned about myself.
I used to, and if you've known me for a long time, you probably known me to be whatever,
whatever. And since I've been doing my heart work, some things have changed. My perspectives
have changed for the better. And so kind of, this is kind of what I've learned about myself.
So you can share some of that too. And that helps to give them an idea of kind of like,
you know, Oh, okay. Rodney's really, you know, done some work and he's really ready
to meet somebody. And then just them knowing that has a way of like, you know, being brought
up in the memory. Like you'd ever know it might be going along a couple of weeks later
and that triggers a thought in their head. And that's kind of how community bat match
a community-based matchmaking works. Yeah. Yeah. So you're saying, cause I don't,
you know, I, I don't know how specific to get on what I'm looking for. I'm not, you
know, there's things that I know I want. I want a person that's kind person that loves
the Lord person that has, you know, certain demeanor. But other than that, I don't feel
like I have a whole lot of. Yeah. I mean, well that's, that's part of, again, that's
part of the process of going through the difference between, you know, what are your, what are
your non-negotiables? What are your preferences? Learning the difference between what non many
people put up. Oh, I want this, this, and this. And they think it's a non-negotiable
and it's not, it's actually a preference. And then other people put up other instances
and they're like, Hey, I know you think that's a preference, but that's actually a non-negotiable
because of this reason there are, you know, so your non-negotiables list is kind of a
shorter list than your preferences. And the preferences can kind of come and go because
they're just preferences. And we teach that in, you know, in, in dating that there are
non non-negotiables, you know, but you have to really define what those are and they are
unique to you because there are some things that are situational that I'm like, I can't
move, you know, because of this reason, whatever. So a non-negotiable for someone who is not
able to relocate is that it's, it's a non-negotiable, but does it, is it always a non-negotiable?
Not necessarily. If you are able to move, then it's just more of a preference and not
something that's a deal breaker, you know? So you have to know the differences and what,
what we're teaching now in Last Year Single is an abundance of clarity. So every process
that we're teaching in Last Year Single right now is driving you, the individual to get
clear on who you are, what you're doing.
thing, not just what you want. You know, like what you want is important. What do you want
out of the relationship and what do you, what do you want to bring to the table as well?
But like getting clear on who you are, what you're doing, where you're going and all that.
So I agree. I agree. I think that's very important. You know, I'm an engineer too. So I'm, I'm,
you know, very analytical and like to kind of break things down, figure things out. But
what's the kind of stuff that you engineer?
So I work for a utility company. Yeah. So I'm a civil engineer. Yeah. So you can't go
out and like lay wire or hang wire or bring connection without having a permit to be able
to do the work. Right. If you go out to do the work and you got all the materials and
you're going to do all this work and you'd be go out there and you're like, Oh, wait
a minute. Like we're not allowed to do this cause we didn't get the permit. Like you didn't
plan ahead. Basically. Right. It's like, bro, it's like, why didn't you do this work?
You know, it's like, well, I didn't know. What do you mean? You didn't know you're an
engineer. You're supposed to know these things. That's what I'm saying. So it's kind of like
it's the same thing with relationships. It's like, you've got to lay, you've got to lay
groundwork in order to make preparations. And especially if, you know, permitting is
going to take some time. It's like, bro, I got to start this permitting process earlier.
Utility company takes a long time. Oh, of course. And then you got to know who owns
the pole, who owns the ground, who owns the ground between the ground. And I mean, this
is crazy, but yeah, I feel like, you know, Jackie in the first video, she talks about,
you know, doing the seven dates and all that. I feel like I should get the book first, do
the work, you know, find out more about who I am, what I want, and then knowing, you know,
knowing myself better than I can start kind of targeting for what I'm, what I want. Once
I know what I'm looking for, I can be a lot more targeted.
Absolutely. Yeah. Getting clarity. That's, that's one of the biggest things that we're
talking about right now in last year.
That's good. That's good. Well, thanks. I appreciate that.
No problem, Ronnie. Thank you for, for chiming in there. Who else? Who else has got something
to say tonight, guys? Is, I don't know, help me out here, Mike. Blake, I see the name Blake
on here and I'm not sure who that is. And I don't know if that's somebody that's new
or not, or I'm not sure either. Hey Blake, is this your first time to men's or no?
Yes. First time. Oh, cool. Well, welcome. And where are you from Blake?
I'm in Tennessee.
Tennessee. Okay, great. Well, welcome. Glad you're here. If you feel like sharing, I mean,
definitely let us know, but if not, that's fine too. Tim, you got, you're unmuted there.
What do you got?
So Monday, I popped into the leaders of my Bible study group, because I haven't seen
them in months. I haven't been able to attend because I've been working every two day. And
they mentioned the owner of the lake house cabin where we do retreats.
Oh, man, I think we got cut off. Sounded like his signal was kind of getting weak.
He'll probably come back to us here in just a moment.
Well, and like Rodney to your, like, just, I don't know if I want to chime in for a second.
Like one of the ways like Rodney that I learned was Tim, is he back? Just getting reps on
dates and like Rodney, you asked that gal out, just you'll learn what you want to. So
that's one of the critical components to figure out what you want.
Learn by doing, yeah.
Yeah, Tim, yeah, you're back with us. And yeah, just keep the video off. Maybe the audio
will kind of give you.
Yeah, anyway, so I was just, I went out of the house once last week and spent four hours.
I took four hundred and sixty photos and didn't have near enough done because there are
38 windows and four oak doors. So I was there, I camped in the yard at night and then I spent
another eight hours taking photos and measurements. But I would love it if you guys prayed that I
landed this project because that would be like 15 grand plus of commission after tax.
What kind of work is it? You're restoring a property?
It would be. It's what is a pipe burst and flooded the basement and the.
Peter tried to keep up with the torrent of cold water
and turned the house basically into a steam room,
which condensed on all the cold outer surfaces.
So all the windows warped and it peeled the finish off,
the humidity did, and the four solid white oak doors,
which might need to be custom made, are also wrecked.
Oh.
And they're not inexpensive windows.
Is this your business, or do you work for a company?
I'm a sales guy for the company.
Right, for what kind of company, a restoration company?
Exteriors.
We're focused more on retail,
but we do insurance work as well.
Oh, I see, got it.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah, we agree with you
that you'll just have favor in that situation
and be able to get that work
and have that as a great bonus and commission for you.
There isn't any reason, if you guys do good work,
there isn't any reason that you can't have that,
have that work and that job as you're reaching out there.
So yeah, we definitely agree with you on that.
Awesome.
All right, who else has anything to share tonight, guys?
David Henshaw, you got something?
I'm not really, I guess, I don't know.
I'm just trying to get more clarity on timing.
I was gonna head down to where Renee's at,
down in Franklin, Tennessee, so sometime soon.
It's kind of going zero to 100, though,
because I guess I'm jumping right into
seeing people in person.
She said she's got like 10 people in that area,
so it'd be kind of a lot.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
I didn't introduce you to, that's cool.
Yeah, so, yeah.
Renee's good, and it'd be a good chance
for you to meet her husband, Brian.
He's a great guy.
Yeah, I'm just looking forward to the timing.
I just don't wanna, you know,
I'm not afraid to be myself, but at the same time,
I don't wanna like show up kind of half-prepared,
so that's the dilemma I'm facing,
with more of a fearful-of-waiting kind of tendency,
you know, of thinking about things and looking at things.
So, yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
I like the fact that you're aware, you know,
and that you're not just like, what's wrong with me?
I'm confused, or whatever, but that you're aware.
Hold on, so that's good.
And just working through that.
I mean, I think one of the greatest things that you've done
recently is you've just been more bold
with stepping out into things that, you know,
probably were very troublesome, or fearful,
or you're avoiding in the first place.
So I think you've done a lot of good work
this last year or so to really,
to put yourself in a place for more success.
And I think the more you do that,
the more you get comfortable with that,
I think the more and more success you're gonna have.
You feel that's true?
Yeah, I find that's true.
It's just like, there's a big part of me
that's unwilling to be seen,
but I realized that like, the more you're willing
to be seen, the more things start moving
and you start having, I guess, success per se.
I don't know if that's really the best word, but yeah.
Yeah, you move forward more, so.
But it's challenging because I would never be,
even with my closest friends,
like with what Rodney was talking about earlier,
like I don't feel comfortable doing that
because I feel like, I don't know,
maybe part of it is I'm more of a private person,
and I would just, I feel like
that's more my responsibility
than trying to delegate that all out.
And I don't know if that's an avoidant thing
or if I'm just more of a private person.
I'm not saying either way is right or wrong.
It's just kind of my perspective on it right now,
where I'm at in life, so.
Well, I mean, if you're traveling several states away to,
in hopes of somebody introducing you to somebody,
that's pretty out there and good, I think.
But yeah, I mean, the idea is that
you're really only entrusting this information,
this part of your life,
in terms of being introduced to people,
you're entrusting it only to people that you fully trust
or that you know that you trust, you know?
So you're not like trying to do it to,
you know, to people that you can't rely on or depend on.
upon. So hopefully there's something that you have, you kind of, um, you know, found
out about or know about the person that you felt like, okay, this is a person that I feel
like I can trust that has my best interest, you know, to introduce me to good people,
you know? So that gives you the sense of like a little more control, a little bit more comfortability
and reliability, peace, knowing that, you know, this is somebody that I feel like has
my best interest. What you got, Mike? So, you know, when I did it, I wanted to puke.
Yeah. Like, you know, I realized, like, like, if I'm honest, like I, two people who I know
and I adore and I know they love and adore me, but I still wanted to puke. And I, um,
and I, I realized like, man, I really want to control this. Right. And I'm afraid and
doing all that process. Right. And, um, one gal that I did date, they just somebody really,
it didn't work out. Um, it was complicated, but, um, but like, she wasn't avoiding, uh,
maybe she, I don't know. But anyways, but like, but my whole point is like, even though
I trusted these people, David, like I am not avoiding, I'm anxious. Right. But I felt like
super stressed. And I was like, I was surprised at my response. Right. Um, and I realized like,
I don't want to give up control of this. Right. Um, I'm like, but you know, you, you have to let
go so you can let things come to you and trust the people that God's put around you. And like I said,
there's been a couple, you know, one gal had health issues and I can't do cancer again.
Um, like, you know, like, um, super great lady. Um, but like the other one just, you know,
the jury's kind of out, we'll see. Um, but just, just trust that, you know, I trust Renee,
you know, you know, and that, um, and I just want to just acknowledge it. It was hard for me to let
go, you know, but I actually really appreciate what they did. I learned a lot about me and I
met a couple, I've met several really amazing ladies. Um, some of them, but I did lay some
framework. I'm like, she's gotta be fit. Well, and I had, I had, and so I also had to get over
an age bias. Like, um, I didn't realize I had one, like just based on the number, like the number
alone. Yeah. I was like, that's like a 16 year gap. And they're like, yeah, but I think you'd
fit really well. I'm like, all right. You know, um, I was like, it is you didn't tell somebody
tries to set you up with, you know, and it was just a number, but either way, either way, 16
years, either way. No, it was 16 years younger. Um, you know, um, and most people 16 years older
than me can't run with me. So, um, but anyways, like, but my point, David is like, it's, it was
hard for me too, but I did see benefit and I learned a lot and, um, and I did it with trusted
people. Right. Um, I, I didn't do it carte blanche, like, Hey, um, you know, I, I didn't go out and
make a t-shirt with a QR code that says, Hey, or send it to people to wear. Right. Um, and like,
and I trust Ray and Renee to set you up like Renee, um, you know,
it's super solid. So she's got, you're in good hands. Yeah. I guess I just want to mention
something real quick. I mean, I had a humongous kind of, I had a humongous crush on one of the
people that might be one of the 10, very likely to be one of the 10 people that may be showing up.
I didn't ask Renee directly, but like recently I kind of went away and I think that's actually
a blessing. So I'm not colored or skewed and, and give everyone like a fair, you know,
chance interaction. You know what I'm saying? Just go be you dude. And don't stress it. Like
when you stress, you get stupid. I don't know about me, but like, I, like, you know, I just
say, I'm going to go have some fun. I'm going to meet some people. If we connect great, if we don't,
if it's all, it's going to be awkward and it's going to be not awkward. I mean,
like there's going to be all of the things just, just go enjoy the ride.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You have to go through it. That's good advice. Like just with, it has
to be with joy. Cause it's just like, it's not worth doing it if it, if it doesn't start in joy,
because there isn't any reason, like, why would you, I mean, life is stressful enough
with, with just living it. Why would you start and look for it? Like, Oh, this has to be hard.
No, it doesn't have to be hard. It can be actually really fun and joyful. So if you have that mind,
mindset going into it that this is going to be fun that I think helps to make it
fun and it just presents a better version of you in the process.
Yeah, that's definitely helpful. Like start in your way. Cause I mean,
that's a tendency I gotta kind of watch out for because being that my last
situationship was a very abusive and a lot and a lot of it was because of the
way I was showing up was, it was not very wise. Um, um,
so part of the advisory circle, part of,
part of trusting other people is the fact that it's not that you can't trust
yourself, but it's just like, if you've been doing this for a while,
looking for, you know, a partner,
a life partner or it's been some time since you previously had a life partner
and you're like,
what else do you have to lose in terms of,
cause if you're just going to try to do it yourself, you know,
life was always better to do things with friends.
So if you have friends or if you have someone you trust that it's going to
introduce you to some more people, it's, it's, it's only a win,
you know,
nobody's asking you to marry the person that they're introducing you to like the
next day. So it's, it's all,
it's always a win. And if they don't work out, they don't work out.
Yeah. Well, there's no, there's no pressure. I'm finally at that point.
There's stability there now to explore this and not, and not keep hiding.
I guess one way to put it.
And not think relationships are only, only and always all hard, hard,
hard and abuse and abuse. And yeah, I got to come out,
I come out of that dark corner too. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. So like I wrote in the chat, but just so everybody, okay, you guys,
like David, like you have, like you, you're like,
my last relationship was this, right. And I do that,
but this is something new. And you literally, you're subcon,
that's your subconscious speaking. Hey,
this is going to be just like the old one.
Like there's a gal, like every time it's like, this is just like,
and you literally have to tell yourself in your own voice out loud.
Every time it comes up, no, this is a different situation. You know,
this is a different place. You know, Renee has got my back, whatever.
I'm going to walk in. And this one's good. This, this one,
this one has potential. And like, but like he,
like your subconscious is if you've had a bad experience is going to say,
this is just going to be like that. And you literally have to tell yourself,
no, it's not, this is different. And so, so your brain, like,
so you stop, it stops going there.
Yeah. Yeah. Cause literally
the converse of that is pretty scary,
which means if it ends up always being the same situation,
the unfortunate thing that you'll have to be honest about in that
scenario over and over and over and over again is,
Hey, I'm the common denominator.
Like, so I'm bringing this to the situation.
And so if you can fix that, like Mike saying in your head, it's kind of like,
um, and in your heart, um, to where you're like,
I'm not bringing in difficulty into the situation. I'm bringing joy and fun,
adventure, curiosity, discovery.
I'm bringing that to the table.
I'm not bringing in drama and worry and fret.
Well, biggest, biggest problem was self abandonment.
And now I'm aware that I do that. So then if I start doing that,
I'm going to go, okay, I got a course. Correct. Now.
Yeah. And the only thing that's a little challenging is I'm kind of,
when it comes to relational stuff like that,
I'm more of a crock pot than a microwave. So it's kind of a little,
kind of harder to do that on the fly.
Yeah, no, I get it. I get it. Um, but I'm telling you what I've in a relationship,
men being crock pots, um, in terms of like, that's,
that's the more stability that is helpful in a long-term relationship.
Cause that's what a lot of, a lot of ladies need. They need us.
They need a stable man. They need a man that's, uh, you know,
it's going to be solid. It's going to be, it's going to be, um,
more even keel and not so up and down for sure.
So that's good. Thanks guys. I appreciate it.
Crock pot can be an advantage. Um, cool.
All right. Uh, anybody else
kind of almost heard from everybody. Yeah.
Good, good, good.
Anybody else, just giving it a minute here.
I'm curious though, and this is going to be a way, different direction, but I am curious
about something because I'm dealing, I'm not dealing with anything, it's more of just a
more passion and curiosity right now.
If you don't mind me changing the subject matter, but who here is like an AI user?
This is kind of like my thing right now, AI.
And who's using, who's chatting, who's developing, who's building with AI, can I get an answer
from everybody?
That'd be great.
It's on this call.
I'm still looking into it a little bit more than I was, but really not that much more.
So yeah.
What do you do?
Do you just chat with like Claude?
I've been to some free or low cost, like online introductory things that talk about some of
the basics.
So, I mean, that helped me get over any stereotypes or false fears in it.
Like I guess the biggest thing I struggle with is like a religious mindset would say,
you know, stay away from it.
It's the double.
And then I think a kingdom mindset would be, well, the only reason why it's going to go
that way is because people choose the fear card and nobody in the kingdom's involved
in it to influence people the right way.
And that's the way we're supposed to walk as sons of God.
So yeah.
But yeah.
Okay.
Tim, you have nothing, you have nothing to do with AI, like period, is that what you're
saying?
I don't know.
Okay.
David.
Gab is run by, oh, I get it.
I get it.
Okay.
So you're selective is what you're saying in terms of your use of AI.
Rodney, AI, no, yes or no?
I don't know if you're there.
I don't know if anybody guys listening.
Yeah.
I'm here.
I use it very little, kind of, you know, very basically asking questions, stuff like that.
Yeah.
I'm not trying to run a business or anything like that.
Yeah.
I got it.
Blake.
I don't know if you have an answer to that question.
I'm just curious.
This is just a curiosity question.
Oh, I'm a software engineer.
I use it all the time.
So I developed with it as well.
Yeah.
So ask me anything.
I can probably answer the question about that specific topic.
Oh, that's good.
That's pretty cool.
That's good to know.
Actually, it's kind of interesting.
Do you work for a company or work for yourself?
I work for a company.
Okay.
Can you say or no?
I work for a company.
Okay.
Can you say or no?
I work for a company.
Okay.
Can you say or no?
I work for a company.
Okay.
Can you say or no?
I work for a company.
Okay.
Can you say or no?
It's a government contractor kind of thing.
I got it.
Got it.
Okay.
Christopher DeLuca, are you...
DeLucia, are you on there, brother?
I am just eating.
What's your relationship with AI?
Just curious.
Infrequent user.
Okay.
Got it.
Kind of fascinating.
Okay.
I'm a software engineer.
I work for a company.
Okay.
Can you say or no?
I work for a company.
Okay.
Can you say or no?
I work for a company.
Okay.
Can you say or no?
I work for a company.
Okay.
Kind of fascinating then.
I know, Mike, you didn't say anything yet about AI.
I haven't used it ever.
You just never used it?
Nope.
Never needed to.
I mean, really.
Oh, because you write, right?
No, not yet.
Well, I actually do, but haven't for a while.
Yeah, maybe writing would be helpful.
I have a good friend who uses it all the time.
I have a friend who is actually doing a Bible AI that she was helping with that.
I just like, I mean, I don't really need it for anything.
I kind of know what I do really well, and I mean, I suppose if I needed it, I could
use it for something.
You know, I mean, I think the writing thing, it seems like a really good plan.
Okay.
Got it.
Interesting.
Okay.
Curious.
Just very curious about it.
I'm using a lot of, I have my own AI agent right now that is really, ended up being a
really huge game changer for me and the business and some other business that I'm doing.
So I just, it's a curiosity for me right now.
I'm just kind of taking inventory of wherever I go to ask about it.
Yeah.
That's kind of why I asked, guys, so interesting, interesting, really good.
Okay, well, if nobody has anything else, we're going to go for that for the time.
Thank you guys for showing up.
God bless you.
Have a great, great rest of your evening and great rest of your week.
We'll see you when we see you next time.
God bless.