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Hi, ladies. Welcome. I'm so glad to have you all here with us tonight. Welcome, welcome.

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We have a couple people in, more people logging in. I'm going to go ahead and get started

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with our housekeeping items and then we'll go from there. So glad to see all of y'all

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tonight. So we want to just kind of circle back to some of our housekeeping things. We've

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talked about these before. Some of you post regularly, so this may not apply to you, but

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for those that are new or maybe you're just someone that hasn't fully participated yet

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in regards to actually posting in the community, asking questions, processing what you're unpacking

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with the heartwork material. So I just want to touch on why do we even post in the group?

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And here's the biggest thing is most of us are hurt in community. Most of us are hurt

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by other people. And so oftentimes what can happen when we actually choose to come into

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the group and post is that we're allowing ourselves to be healed in community, healed

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in and through relationship, connection, coming out of hiding, allowing people to see the

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vulnerable places. And even the questions that we have about those vulnerable places

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and how to process those things, it really can empower us to come out of shame, guilt

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and condemnation because the reality is, is even as we post them, and sometimes after

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we've made a post, the enemy will often try to bring shame or guilt. And some people in

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the past have even deleted posts because they got really nervous. Well, that is the enemy

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working. And so obviously he's trying to hinder us from healing. He's trying to hinder us

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from moving forward. So he is going to try to convince a lot of you to never post to

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just kind of listen to the content, do it on your own. And and that's fine. If that's

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what you choose to do. We're not trying to judge that. But I just want you to know that

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you are going to get so much more out of this program, if you will give yourself permission

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to get out of your comfort zone, and to get out of that fear factor in that space, and

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to come into community because again, we make each other stronger, iron sharpens iron.

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And so one friend sharpens another, when we're healthy, you know, when we're surrounded by

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healthy community, man, the outcome is going to be way different than if it's a community

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that hasn't been healthy for us in the past. So I want to encourage you all to continue

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to come out of hiding, allow yourself to be seen, heard, known and loved. I talk about

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this all the time. This is something I've absolutely experienced personally, professionally

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and so many ways when I quit hiding. And I made myself accountable way back in the day

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to counselors or coaches even in this program. You know, I just posted all you know, not

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like crazy amount, but like consistently, when I had a question, I had to get over being

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afraid to ask question and fearing does this sound dumb? Does this I even had somebody

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say something to me today, I don't remember what they were messaging me about. But they

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started with, I know this sounds silly, but and I want some of you all to even consider

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how often do you minimize your thoughts, feelings, insights, even when you go to say something

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to someone, I know this might sound really stupid, but we need to get out of those habits

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come into alignment with the truth is that you have thoughts that matter. They're not

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dumb. They're not stupid. They're not lacking knowledge. You know, whatever it is that we've

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kind of partnered with because of things that people have said in the past. That's where

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why those things are showing up today. Um, yes. So Amy in the heartwork group, only the

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heartwork people see that nobody else. Okay, so only the ladies that are on this journey

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in the heartwork group are going to see that in the coaches that admin the group. David

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Dorman is one of the admins in there, but I don't want you all to get afraid like he

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doesn't even have time to come in here and read the post. He's only in there because

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he helps do all of our tech stuff. So he's the only guy in there. It's all ladies. If

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there is another guy, it's our app developer, and he doesn't come in and read our stuff

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either. I can guarantee you because there's things we're asking them to, to fix and work

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on and you know, Hey, they got to focus on that. So the next phase is different than

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first phase. Okay. The heartwork phase is first phase two is what we call love story

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accelerator. Um, and the reality is, is some people will date and accept the dating challenges

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right away. Some people are going to take some time to just keep focusing on their healing,

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but we also have heartwork components that are built into

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All of our coaches, any of our coaches in any phase of our community have been trained in the heartwork modalities and like the concepts and things that you all are learning here, and then how to convey them in the different phases when different situations and scenarios come up.

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So it's, yeah, it's you're going to keep learning, you're going to keep growing.

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We in phase two, we will teach you all a lot of the concepts and ways that we would recommend that you approach dating from our perspective in a healthy way.

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So there's just a lot to learn along the whole way.

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And then VIP, what used to be called our phase three, we call it VIP now.

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That's where all the ladies kind of go into.

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And then our men as well on their side into where we do additional what we call advanced heartwork.

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There's Ask Jackie sessions.

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Sometimes we do love stories where we have people come in and share their love story, like how God brought them together.

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What did God do in them before?

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We do ladies night over there.

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We talk you all we get real, we get down, we get dirty.

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Sometimes.

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I mean, we literally we talk about this this week.

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One of our coaches is going to be talking to the ladies about sex.

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And what do you do when your body you're older and your body doesn't respond like all kinds like we talk about it all.

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Okay.

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And then also just like health and fitness as summers here, it's kind of a good time to be talking about how can we be healthy in our whole selves, not just our heart.

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And so, yeah, there's so much more, but that's just kind of a little kind of drip of what VIP is about.

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But as you all are here in the heartwork, of course, we want you just to dial in here and really allow God.

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I know Amy has been here doing the work.

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So great questions, Amy, on that for everybody.

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But I know that's something that you're considering moving into in the near future.

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I believe I think that's where you're where you're at.

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But ladies, yeah, there's so much in this community.

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And the reality is, is that, you know, everybody's in different seasons of their lives.

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And so some of you, you know, even came in just at a place that you're just like, I don't even know if I want a relationship.

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I just know I need healing.

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You know, that's a totally different place than somebody's like, I absolutely want a relationship.

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I don't have a clue how to get there.

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Nothing's been working.

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You know, there's just there's just the whole we have people that come in and their spouses have passed away.

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You know, there's just so many different dynamics.

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And so whatever it is that you all need, our coaches are going to come alongside of you in every phase of our community.

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All right. So distractions are going to come.

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I think it's super important.

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Y'all, summer is here.

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You can see it in our numbers in our live sessions.

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This is real.

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And I'm not knocking that because, man, who doesn't want to be outside during summertime?

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Right.

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But I do want to encourage you all to really continue to stay in the game.

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Okay.

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Show up.

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Keep showing up.

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You know, make this a priority on your schedule as much as you can.

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And I know people are in different time zones and all of that stuff.

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But I want to just really recommend that as distractions come, being here at the lives, in addition to doing your work, is going to help you kind of stay on the course.

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Even if some of you, like, will face moments where you feel stuck and you're like, I know I need to do this next thing.

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I know that I don't want to do this next thing.

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And so maybe showing up at the live.

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Someone this morning, I forget what her name was, but I gave her an assignment.

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I think it was last week or two weeks ago.

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I think it was last week, though.

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And she was really struggling just to finish her last.

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If you guys were here, she was talking about her God or her list.

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But it wasn't the never will I ever list.

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Y'all, she did it.

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She did it.

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She posted about it.

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I think it's Rachel.

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I don't know if she's here tonight, but she did it and she is getting ready to move forward.

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And sometimes that's all it takes is someone kind of saying, hey, you've got this.

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Let's look at why you're avoiding it.

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You know, because remember, if you're not if you don't know this yet, if you're not at the week where this comes up, avoidance is a self protection mechanism.

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Avoidance and procrastination kind of go hand in hand.

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And typically, like even myself, I was working on I'm going to be preaching in August and I was working on my sermon for that today.

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And I kind of just did it differently than I've done it in the past.

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And everything came together so much quicker.

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And I just was telling my husband, I think I need to write my book like this because it just I was approaching it completely differently.

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Sometimes I think, you know, I'm using a book as an analogy.

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But for you all, it's your heart work.

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Right, because that's where you're at in this season.

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I think any of us can come up with reasons why we're not good enough, we're not ready, we're afraid, you know, whatever that might be.

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But God has you here for a purpose, in this season, at this time, even for some, you know, they go through it, they go through life, some things happen, people come back, and they redo the heart work.

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You know, that may not be your story, but that does happen for some people, and there's nothing wrong with that.

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Because the reality is, is when we go through the heart work, we only have the capacity we have in that season to receive what we can.

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Alright, so I just want to encourage you all, just to continue to give yourselves a lot of grace, God has a plan for you, and he'll help you.

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As Juliana is posting, welcome Juliana for your first time. I'm going to kind of circle back to if you're here for your first time, I was waiting for more people to join in and be with us here tonight.

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But if you're new, this is your first time here, please let us know that in the chat, as well as Juliana.

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If anyone else would love a like, hello, we're so glad you're here.

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For all my other ladies, welcome back, it's so good to see you.

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If you didn't know, we like to see you on screen, even if you've got no makeup on.

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Even if you're like, yeah, I look really tired.

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Now, if you're eating or driving or something like that, that can be a little distracting, but we do want you all to show up and allow yourself to be seen on camera.

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This is very good practice for future online potential dating.

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And some of you are like, I am not going to do online dating.

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Either way, you still need to practice seeing yourself on screen, because that's kind of the first layer of like, really embracing yourself.

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Okay, on every level.

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All right, last housekeeping for tonight is Supernatural Saturday.

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You all, where is the lack of discipline costing you?

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Ouch. I was like, man, there was some really good stuff.

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It was making me really realize how often the enemy can try to get us off track.

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You know, when she was talking about, you know, all the reasons why we don't do things.

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But what if we, what if we committed to doing one or two things really excellently in this next year?

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So your heart healing being one of those things.

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Your heart work will literally change your life.

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It will, it can.

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And so stay in the game, keep doing it.

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Check that replay out.

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It's going to, it's going to be really good and hold you accountable to staying in the game and doing your heart work.

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All right, let me pray for us.

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Father, thank you so much for this night.

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God, thank you for grace.

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Thank you for healing.

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Yes, Lord, we thank you for supernatural breakthroughs.

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God, you are the God of the breakthrough.

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Jehovah Jireh, our provider.

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I pray that you would come and inhabit our conversations tonight.

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The coaching, let everything be done unto your glory.

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Lord, I thank you for revealings for healing that are happening.

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God anoint our eyes to see you, our ears to hear what your spirit is saying.

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Help us to have an upgrade in the revelation of how you see us, what you think about us.

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God, that you would remove all the chaff, all the things, the muck and the mire,

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that you would take our feet out of that and set our feet upon the rock, which is you.

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God, I thank you that you have predestined us, God, for your plans and purposes and promises.

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God, you created us like in the fullness of how you originally wanted us to be and who you wanted us to walk into.

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But God, things led us away from that.

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So Lord, I pray that you would take our feet off of pathways of pain and place our feet on the pathways that lead back to you tonight.

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Yes, Lord, I thank you that even if one sheep goes astray, God, that your love, your loving kindness goes looking and calling out to us.

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So Lord, I pray that you would turn our hearts and our minds and our spirits back to you.

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God, lift our eyes up to where our help comes from, the maker of heaven and earth.

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And remind us, God, of the truth that nothing is too hard for you.

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Transform us from the inside out.

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We just thank you, Holy Spirit, for being here.

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Have your way.

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In Jesus' name, amen, amen, amen.

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Tonight is Jesus Cares Board.

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Sorry, it's not Jesus Cares Board.

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It's Supernatural Surrender.

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But we're going to talk about our Jesus Cares Board.

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If y'all haven't heard this yet, you're brand new.

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It's in week one.

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You will see the video about your Jesus Cares Board.

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It'll walk you through how to do it.

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You know, just don't overthink it, ladies.

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The biggest thing I can say to you is any activation we give you, let go of perfectionism.

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Let go of fear of, like, am I doing this perfect?

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Am I doing this right?

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Just do your best.

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Post it.

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If we feel like we need to coach you or help you.

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you build on what you've already started, because I don't even like to say the word correct. Okay,

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I like to say build on what you've started, because the reality is, is your process matters.

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All right. And part of the heart healing. I've talked to a lot of people today, I feel like I

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was getting ready to say I was talking to someone today. I've been talking and coaching a lot of

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people today. But I was talking to someone else about the reality of trusting ourselves.

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And how important that is. And so what I was about to say is in your heart healing journey,

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that is a huge part of what God is going to try to help you work on. Learning how to trust him,

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like really trust him because you get to know him better. But also learning how to trust yourself.

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So many of us, our struggle is actually that we don't trust ourself. Because life and trauma

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taught us not to. A lot of self doubt. Like even like me, back when I started dating my

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spiritual daughter's dad, I thought I was hearing from the Lord. Totally thought I was hearing from

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the Lord. But then God started revealing red flags to me. And that was the moment that I should have

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recognized like, okay, this is no longer of the Lord. Because at that moment, God was revealing

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to me that my, I didn't know what it was called back then, but my counterfeit identities were

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leading me towards that guy. But as soon as the flags were being revealed, if I would have

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listened, I would have avoided a lot of pain. Now, I don't shame myself for that anymore. It's

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just a part of my story. I've learned a lot through it. And I'm grateful for how much I've

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grown. And I'm grateful for how much I can tell you all. So hopefully you won't make the same

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mistakes. But here's the thing, is that even those things, God is asking us, will you surrender

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those situations to me? Will you give me the years that the locust has eaten,

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and the moth has destroyed? Will you give me the years that were eaten by addiction?

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Whatever the thing is, that we would not hold ourselves in contempt because of mistakes that

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we made and how many years, you know, in our minds. And I'm not saying it's not true.

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I dated him for six years, you all, way too long. But it's a part of my story. It's a part of my

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process. You better believe the enemy has been chirping and trying to chirp in my ear about how

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if I hadn't dated him, if I hadn't stayed there, I probably would have had a baby. Because I would

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have met someone and moved into something healthier and not lost that six years of really

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good fertile time, you all. But I wasn't trying to have babies back then. Because I was trying to

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wait until I got married. So here's the thing. I could be a victim and partner with that. Or I

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could just say, you know what, Lord? Man, you know it all. You know how I feel. You know about those

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years. You know how hard it is sometimes. But God, I trust you that you're going to work it all for

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my good, including whatever children you desire to bring into my life in the future. And I've

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been able to love a lot of kids already, you all. It's not about that. But those were some of the

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dreams. That stuff that I have dreamed of doing and being a part of, if you will, is having my

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own biological child. Now I'm still believing for that. I'm like, God, if you want to do a miracle,

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I'm still praying. But God does miracles in all different ways, you all. And so I don't want to

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minimize the miracle of a bio baby. But I'm seeing God work some pretty awesome things out in my

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heart, even as we pursue fostering for this season. And we're just kind of keeping our hands

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really open. So I don't know who I'm saying that for, but I want you to know God sees you.

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And sometimes he leads us down a path we might not have originally chosen.

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But man, it can start to show us so much more about ourselves in the heart of the Father.

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All right. So on my Jesus Cares Board, on that note, one of the things I put on there years ago

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was a baby. Because I've always wanted babies. But I also put my stepson, I put my spiritual

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daughters on there and things that they were struggling with. Whatever you are worried about

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that you're fearful of, whatever is weighing you down, you all, I put on there that I wanted to

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have more fun.

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Like, I just felt like my life was so serious back then, and I've left it up there because

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even doing ministry, like ministry can kind of like try to take over your life sometimes.

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And so really intentionally asking God for fun things for us to go do and the money and

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resources to do it, that has been on there.

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I put my school loans on there.

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I wanted to pay off all of our debt.

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I needed dental work.

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Y'all, these were things I put on years ago.

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Last year in 2025, Brian and I got all the dental work that we had been putting off done.

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And we've all like, we like literally this next month, in the next month or so, we'll

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have paid all that off, you know?

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And so it's really incredible.

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Again, I just want to encourage you, you may not see how it's going to work out.

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Some of the things I put on my Jesus Cares board within months were answered, others,

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they stayed up there.

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And I continue to thank God, thank Jesus for working in them.

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And so for you, that some of you, that's how it's going to be too, but don't ever give

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up because he's working on your behalf, but go ahead and as you guys, that'll be one of

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your activations.

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I won't need to talk about that necessarily again later, I have two activations to give

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you for this week, but your Jesus Cares board is really important.

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So when you work on yours, if you've never done it, we want to encourage you to go ahead

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and create, like take a photo of it, put it in the group, and then we're going to cheer

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you on.

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I might, some of us, like the coaches and myself, I like to like look at them and if

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I can see them, sometimes, and it's okay if I can't, but if I can see things y'all have

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written, sometimes like stuff will hit my spirit and I'll just feel like God wants me

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to speak something over that for y'all.

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But sometimes it's just, hey, you're doing awesome, we're cheering you on, like, it just

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depends on what, you know, again, if I can see it or not.

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Some of y'all might not be comfortable with everybody seeing what's written on there,

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and that's totally fine.

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So whatever you're comfortable with, but the goal is to do it.

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For those of you that might have been here for a little while and you did your Jesus

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Cares board, maybe, you know, months ago, we have some people that have been here with

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us for a year or longer, I want to encourage you to revisit that board if you've already

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done it.

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And just ask the Lord, is there anything new that I've been carrying on my back that I

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need to, that I need to cast onto you that I've kind of forgotten, like, oh yeah, I was

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trying to carry that and it's not mine to carry.

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And hey, did Jesus answer any of those?

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And then I have started doing, when Jesus answers those prayers, I started creating

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a sheet that I put my answered prayers on.

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And it's been so fun to see that sheet growing.

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And so you all can do that if you want.

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It's really been a blessing in helping me, but you don't have to if you don't want.

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All right, so, supernatural surrender, a huge, like, component of this is reminding all of

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us, myself included, it's us allowing God to add his super to our natural.

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Because God is spirit, he is truth, he is life.

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We know that the Bible says that the enemy comes to kill, steal, and destroy, but Jesus

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Christ came to give us life and give it to us more abundantly.

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I want you to think about the word release.

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When we release something to the Lord, we're saying, I allow you, Lord, to move in this

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area.

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I allow you to act, I allow you to flow freely, and I'm going to let go of trying to control

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this thing.

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I'm going to let go of trying to control the outcome.

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So I have to pray this a lot regarding my girls, a lot.

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And sometimes I got to pray it a lot regarding our church people, you know, sometimes they

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start to, even though they're not our kids, they start, you know, when you're shepherding

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and caring for people, you know, it's just like, okay, Lord, I know they love you.

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But man, they just keep making the wrong choice here, you know, and you just, Lord, I surrender

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them to you.

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I surrender the situation to you.

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You know, we have people that are going through court custody battles here in this community,

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you know, all kinds of stuff.

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And so Lord, I just surrender that custody battle to you, you know, where we're continuing

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to lay it all down.

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John 15, four through five says this, remain in me as I also remain in you.

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No branch can bear fruit by itself.

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It must remain in the vine.

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Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

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I am the vine.

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You are the branches.

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If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit.

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Apart from me, you can do nothing.

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I put that scripture in there a lot because I need to remember it all the time.

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I think that even just our human nature wants us to believe that we can be.

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independent of God, that we don't need his help. You know, that little fleshly

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part of us when we're a little toddler and we're like, I do it myself, I don't,

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like we kind of have that still on the inside of us a lot. But God is asking you

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to surrender these aspects of your heart and life to him completely. So he's, you

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know, as a reminder, he's a gentleman, he's not gonna force his way in, he's gonna

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stand at the door of our hearts that we talked about this a couple weeks ago and

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he's gonna knock and he's gonna ask for permission to enter. And so our role in

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this is taking down the do not enter signs. Those areas of our hearts and our

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minds and our spirits and our souls, our bodies, where we've erected these signs

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and we've said, hey God, you can work in all of that, but no, this area, like, and we

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do it subconsciously most of the time, ladies, but we want to be in control. We

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want to drive the car, we want to get to the destination that we want when we

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want it and how we want it. And God is saying, will you trust me enough to

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really let go of this? Will you? Oh, thank you, Lord. Will you trust me enough to

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defend you when other people say things against you and spitefully use you? Should

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we be doormats? Absolutely not, you all. But here's the reality. Sometimes there

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are seasons where the enemy sends people to do things, trials and tribulations. It

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says we're gonna go through those. But woe to who they come through. The Bible

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also says that. But it's not our job to take care of that. It's God's job. So for

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whoever that's for, the Lord wants you to really trust Him to handle the situation

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He has your back. And you all, it might not even be in the time and the season

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that we will see it. And that's hard sometimes. I can remember wanting

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vengeance. I can remember praying, God, will you bring vengeance? And I wanted to

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see it. I know. I'm honest. I'm honest with you all. I love the Lord. But even

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back then, I loved the Lord. But the reality is, is I was in so much pain

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because of other people's actions. This is way back when I was a baby Christian.

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I'm like, yes, Lord, bring vengeance. We know David prayed for those things, too.

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I think when we deny our humanness, when we deny how we feel, then we're actually

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not even being honest with ourselves. And that's a part of us, like not trusting

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ourselves. It starts with being honest. I feel the Holy Spirit on this. It starts

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with being honest with where we're really at. And then man, things can get

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real. And God can come in and help release, like help us release that stuff

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and love on us, even in the middle of the anger and the pain. Remember, anger

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hurts bodyguard. Sadness, frustration, disappointment, heartbreak, all those

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things are under there. But God can help us work through all of those. So

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remember, giving God permission is like giving him the key. You're giving him

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access. Remember, you don't have to give everybody all people access to you.

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You can still love someone. We can still love our enemies. But that doesn't mean

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we have to give our enemies access to us. I don't know who that's for either. But

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it just felt really important to say it out loud. Because some of you all, because

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you've been taught to be a good Christian, you need to let everybody have

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full access to you, even toxic, unhealthy people. Because we're just called to

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love. That's what we're called to do. Well, yeah, we're called to love. But

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we're also called to walk in wisdom. And if we need more wisdom, the Bible says to

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ask, and God will give it to us liberally, that he won't hold back. That's,

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that's literally like there's multiple things. But that's one of the things God

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says he will not withhold that from us. He's going to give it to us liberally.

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That means excessive wisdom. Wisdom will help us walk in discernment to recognize

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unhealthy things. To get the healing that we need to to seek out the help when we

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need it, whatever that looks like, financial stewards. I needed more wisdom.

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I still all the time. I'm like, God, give me more wisdom on how to navigate

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financial things to make good investments to, you know, invest in people when I

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need to. Yeah.

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I'm glad that's speaking to you, Trina.

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You know, it's important for us to recognize these areas

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where the enemy continues to try to trip us up, right?

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And that's how we can step into freedom.

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Y'all, that Revelation 3.20,

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if you're wondering what scripture it talks about,

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the Lord standing at the door of our hearts and knocking,

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that's that scripture.

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I'm not gonna go ahead and read the whole thing

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just for time's sake,

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but I want you guys to think of where inside of yourself

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are you currently in your life,

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whether it's out loud verbally or internal,

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but you're somehow saying in some way, shape, or form,

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I've got this, I do it myself.

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I don't need any help.

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I don't need a man.

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I watched a cute little movie the other night on something.

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I better not say,

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cause sometimes I'm like,

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this is where you can get in a trap

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because if I say the movie and someone else is like,

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oh my God, she watched that movie and liked it,

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it said an F word in it.

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I don't know.

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I better not say it.

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It probably did, but it was this cute little quirky movie.

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And I think the reason I'm bringing that up

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is because this young girl had convinced herself

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that she didn't need a man to be fulfilled.

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And y'all, that is true, okay?

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We don't need them to be fulfilled.

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We should have that confidence in who we are

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and be healthy as individuals.

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And a healthy individual and a healthy individual,

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one and one, come together and they make two,

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not broken halfsies, okay?

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But the reality is,

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is that God created us for relationship.

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And as she started to allow herself

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to recognize why she had put all these walls up,

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I mean, essentially, you know,

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I watch everything through the heartwork lens.

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My husband and I, we'll sit and actually,

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we used to, we watched this Love is Blind,

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I think at one point,

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and we would sit and like analyze the people like,

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man, they need artwork and they, you know, just,

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I mean, it really can teach you if you kind of let it.

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But I was sitting there thinking about this actress,

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even though it was a movie and it was fake,

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but man, like her walls were so high

425
00:32:25.840 --> 00:32:29.160
that she hardly let anybody in.

426
00:32:29.160 --> 00:32:32.320
But when she started letting those come down,

427
00:32:32.320 --> 00:32:33.400
and again, this was a movie,

428
00:32:33.400 --> 00:32:36.520
but this really sweet guy entered in.

429
00:32:37.720 --> 00:32:39.680
And I think that that can be so true.

430
00:32:41.040 --> 00:32:43.640
I'm not saying it's always easy,

431
00:32:43.640 --> 00:32:46.600
but I am saying it's worth it and that it can happen.

432
00:32:47.600 --> 00:32:49.520
All right, let's keep moving.

433
00:32:49.520 --> 00:32:54.520
So God isn't up in heaven saying,

434
00:32:54.560 --> 00:32:58.160
hey, good luck, kid, I hope you make it.

435
00:32:58.160 --> 00:33:00.520
I hope you figure it out.

436
00:33:00.520 --> 00:33:04.040
But some of us actually think that is how God treats us.

437
00:33:05.600 --> 00:33:07.280
Hope you figure that out one day.

438
00:33:07.280 --> 00:33:10.160
I'm just giving you breadcrumbs until you get there.

439
00:33:11.600 --> 00:33:13.840
But that is not God.

440
00:33:13.840 --> 00:33:14.920
That is not God.

441
00:33:14.960 --> 00:33:17.760
Now, I am gonna say there are seasons

442
00:33:17.760 --> 00:33:19.440
that I have walked through where I'm like,

443
00:33:19.440 --> 00:33:22.280
God, where are you?

444
00:33:22.280 --> 00:33:25.360
Like, I haven't heard you as much lately.

445
00:33:26.320 --> 00:33:29.120
But it wasn't that he wasn't talking.

446
00:33:29.120 --> 00:33:31.440
What was happening is he was trying to teach me

447
00:33:31.440 --> 00:33:32.760
a new way to hear him.

448
00:33:35.080 --> 00:33:37.920
So often we just are like, God doesn't talk to me.

449
00:33:38.880 --> 00:33:40.440
Or God quit talking to me.

450
00:33:40.440 --> 00:33:41.520
But the reality is,

451
00:33:41.520 --> 00:33:44.680
is he's actually shifting the way he's speaking to us,

452
00:33:45.440 --> 00:33:47.120
because he wants to teach us something new.

453
00:33:48.040 --> 00:33:51.040
Isaiah 43, 19 isn't just about,

454
00:33:51.040 --> 00:33:52.720
you're like God's promises unfolding.

455
00:33:52.720 --> 00:33:56.400
I think truthfully, now I would need to go study context,

456
00:33:56.400 --> 00:33:57.880
but that just came up in my spirit.

457
00:33:57.880 --> 00:33:59.400
I think it's about when God's like,

458
00:33:59.400 --> 00:34:00.440
I'm gonna do a new thing.

459
00:34:00.440 --> 00:34:02.840
I'm gonna bring streams in the, you know,

460
00:34:02.840 --> 00:34:05.960
in the wasteland and rivers in the desert.

461
00:34:05.960 --> 00:34:07.160
And that might be backwards, y'all,

462
00:34:07.160 --> 00:34:09.320
but that is the scripture.

463
00:34:09.320 --> 00:34:11.600
I might just gather those back.

464
00:34:11.600 --> 00:34:14.360
But I think it's also about a new revelation

465
00:34:15.040 --> 00:34:15.880
of who he is.

466
00:34:15.880 --> 00:34:18.120
A new revelation of how to connect in relationship

467
00:34:18.120 --> 00:34:20.840
and intimacy and a new understanding

468
00:34:20.840 --> 00:34:23.679
of what heaven sounds like and looks like.

469
00:34:23.679 --> 00:34:27.800
And I just think we really put God in a box so often

470
00:34:27.800 --> 00:34:30.960
of what the new has to look like.

471
00:34:31.960 --> 00:34:34.320
So what is the new God wants to give you?

472
00:34:35.639 --> 00:34:38.400
What's the super that he wants to come down

473
00:34:38.400 --> 00:34:40.239
and meet with your natural tonight?

474
00:34:42.360 --> 00:34:43.880
And we may not always feel it.

475
00:34:44.400 --> 00:34:45.239
Sometimes I feel it.

476
00:34:45.239 --> 00:34:46.679
And you know, y'all, I get excited

477
00:34:46.679 --> 00:34:48.280
and I'll be like, ooh, I feel the Holy Spirit.

478
00:34:48.280 --> 00:34:49.880
I just love it so much.

479
00:34:51.880 --> 00:34:53.280
But sometimes I don't.

480
00:34:53.280 --> 00:34:55.679
Sometimes after I even get off from coaching,

481
00:34:55.679 --> 00:34:58.440
I'll be like, my husband will ask me, how'd that go?

482
00:34:58.440 --> 00:34:59.600
I think good.

483
00:34:59.600 --> 00:35:00.440
I didn't really.

484
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:06.000
feel the Lord a lot tonight. But that doesn't, those are the times, honestly, that I will hear

485
00:35:06.000 --> 00:35:12.480
people get all kinds of breakthrough. It's not about what we feel. That's awesome when we get

486
00:35:12.480 --> 00:35:18.800
to experience that, but sometimes our most significant transformation is going to be in

487
00:35:18.800 --> 00:35:26.400
the quiet moments when we might not feel anything at all. But that doesn't make it any less effective.

488
00:35:26.400 --> 00:35:32.560
God is always working. All right, I'm going to keep moving. All right, so here are some ways. I'm

489
00:35:32.560 --> 00:35:37.680
going to go through these really quick. Y'all, one of the easiest ways to grab these for yourselves

490
00:35:37.680 --> 00:35:42.880
later, if you don't want to hurry and take notes, is go back, play the replay, and use like a

491
00:35:42.880 --> 00:35:49.360
transcription app, and it'll take notes for you. A little insight for you. All right,

492
00:35:49.360 --> 00:35:57.040
these are some ways that we say to God, I do it myself. God, I've got this. These are some

493
00:35:57.040 --> 00:36:02.400
different ways they can show up in our lives. Relationship areas. We can try to control

494
00:36:02.400 --> 00:36:06.320
conversations or outcomes during conflict rather than seeking God's wisdom first.

495
00:36:07.760 --> 00:36:12.880
Making major relationship decisions without prayer or godly counsel, or what we would consider

496
00:36:13.520 --> 00:36:16.960
surrounding ourselves with godly community. That's a big thing we coach on.

497
00:36:17.920 --> 00:36:24.240
Number three, trying to earn God's love through performance instead of resting in God's unconditional

498
00:36:24.240 --> 00:36:31.600
love. Financial and career. Making financial decisions based solely on our own understanding

499
00:36:31.600 --> 00:36:39.840
without seeking God's direction. Awarding resources out of fear instead of trusting God as our provider.

500
00:36:40.800 --> 00:36:47.200
Parenting and family. Trying to control our children's every choice instead of training them

501
00:36:47.200 --> 00:36:55.280
and trusting God with their hearts. Fixing every problem for our kids rather than allowing them to

502
00:36:55.280 --> 00:37:05.040
learn and grow through challenges as we love them. Personal growth. White-knuckling through bad

503
00:37:05.600 --> 00:37:12.560
decisions instead of inviting God into the transformation process. Trying to heal our

504
00:37:12.560 --> 00:37:19.200
own emotional wounds without letting God into the painful places. Comparing our journey to

505
00:37:19.200 --> 00:37:27.040
other people and trying to fast-track our growth. Some people will come into this community and

506
00:37:27.040 --> 00:37:33.040
they will try to go through this heartwork in one or two weeks. Y'all, that is way too fast.

507
00:37:33.520 --> 00:37:40.960
Like, we gotta let our hearts breathe, you know. Sometimes, you know, you'll open. I don't drink

508
00:37:42.400 --> 00:37:48.240
like you guys like at all, but I just know this from working. And I worked, I was trying to think

509
00:37:48.240 --> 00:37:52.000
of what the name of the restaurant was, Bravo, years ago. And one of the things they taught us

510
00:37:52.000 --> 00:37:57.840
was, like, they would open the wine and let it breathe before they would serve it to people.

511
00:37:57.840 --> 00:38:02.160
And so I want you to kind of be thinking about, like, when you're going through the heartwork,

512
00:38:02.240 --> 00:38:07.840
sometimes you just gotta let your soul breathe. You gotta create some white space to process what

513
00:38:07.840 --> 00:38:14.160
you're learning, what you're hearing, and journal it. Go for a walk and think on it. You know,

514
00:38:14.160 --> 00:38:18.800
that those are the moments where you can kind of like, okay, I'm gonna let my soul breathe and just

515
00:38:18.800 --> 00:38:24.560
let God speak to me. And again, sometimes it's starting to recognize how God speaks to you in

516
00:38:24.560 --> 00:38:30.480
the little ways and the big ways, and then going from there. Okay, I'm gonna keep going.

517
00:38:30.960 --> 00:38:39.280
I'm gonna keep going. John 14, 25 through 27 says this, all this I've spoken while I am still,

518
00:38:39.280 --> 00:38:44.160
while still with you, but the advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name,

519
00:38:44.160 --> 00:38:49.680
will teach you all things, and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace,

520
00:38:49.680 --> 00:38:55.120
I leave with you. My peace, I give to you. Jesus was saying that. He's like saying,

521
00:38:55.120 --> 00:38:59.120
I'm gonna give you my peace. I don't give it to you as the world gives.

522
00:39:00.160 --> 00:39:05.840
Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not be afraid. He literally was saying like,

523
00:39:05.840 --> 00:39:09.680
his peace is not the kind of peace that we know in the world.

524
00:39:12.160 --> 00:39:17.280
So do you need peace in a situation tonight? Do you need peace in some area of your heart tonight?

525
00:39:18.080 --> 00:39:22.560
Because God, like Jesus wants to give that to you, and he sent the Holy Spirit,

526
00:39:22.560 --> 00:39:28.880
your advocate, your helper, to bring that, to usher that in to you.

527
00:39:30.480 --> 00:39:36.240
In supernatural surrender, another really important key component to this is that we do not

528
00:39:36.240 --> 00:39:42.320
dig in this community. At least we do our best not to. Okay, what do I mean by that? We don't

529
00:39:42.320 --> 00:39:48.720
want to go like trying to look under rocks and figure this all out for ourselves in your heart

530
00:39:48.720 --> 00:39:55.520
healing process. The key is asking the Lord to reveal areas for healing and trusting the timing

531
00:39:55.520 --> 00:39:59.840
that he does it. When we start trying to dig and

532
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:04.320
figure it all out, we start going and talking to all of our family members about our past,

533
00:40:04.320 --> 00:40:09.200
or we try to go back and circle back and look up all the painful things that that person

534
00:40:09.200 --> 00:40:10.200
did to us.

535
00:40:10.200 --> 00:40:16.040
Y'all know some people, back in the day, I don't know if you guys have ever done this,

536
00:40:16.040 --> 00:40:23.200
I'm telling on myself again, when things would be really bad, I would watch a sad movie and

537
00:40:23.200 --> 00:40:27.480
then I would sit there and read the really mean things that the person had said to me

538
00:40:27.480 --> 00:40:29.920
in the text or whatever.

539
00:40:29.920 --> 00:40:32.440
And then I would just cry more.

540
00:40:32.440 --> 00:40:34.520
Why would I do that to myself?

541
00:40:34.520 --> 00:40:37.360
But I did it over and over.

542
00:40:37.360 --> 00:40:40.200
So again, I don't know who I'm saying that for.

543
00:40:40.200 --> 00:40:46.640
But if you're rehashing old stuff like that, even if it's not exactly that way, but you're

544
00:40:46.640 --> 00:40:51.000
just going back and you're rehashing it over and over and over in your mind, what they

545
00:40:51.000 --> 00:40:55.520
did to you, what they did to you, what they did to you, like a record that's broken and

546
00:40:55.520 --> 00:40:58.320
it's just kind of on repeat.

547
00:40:58.320 --> 00:41:04.520
The Lord is saying, it's time to let that go.

548
00:41:04.520 --> 00:41:06.240
It's time to let that go.

549
00:41:06.240 --> 00:41:08.360
It's over.

550
00:41:08.360 --> 00:41:10.160
What they did happened.

551
00:41:10.160 --> 00:41:11.160
Yes.

552
00:41:11.160 --> 00:41:13.240
And it probably hurt you.

553
00:41:13.240 --> 00:41:17.400
But the more you sit there and rehash it, when we rehash it like that, it was like,

554
00:41:17.400 --> 00:41:22.320
I wanted, I watched those movies that I knew were going to cause me to cry because I'm

555
00:41:22.320 --> 00:41:24.080
an emotional person.

556
00:41:24.080 --> 00:41:29.120
And it was like, I wanted someone in that moment to feel my pain with me or something,

557
00:41:29.120 --> 00:41:37.520
even though it was a movie, instead of just allowing myself to let that go and get out

558
00:41:37.520 --> 00:41:38.520
of that.

559
00:41:38.520 --> 00:41:46.640
Eventually I did, but I, you all, I had to look at these patterns of things I would do

560
00:41:46.640 --> 00:41:53.160
to kind of just sit in my pain and my victimhood.

561
00:41:53.160 --> 00:41:58.240
So if that's where you're at, the Lord loves you and none of us judge you.

562
00:41:58.240 --> 00:41:59.240
He doesn't judge you.

563
00:41:59.240 --> 00:42:05.640
He understands why you're there, but that is not where he wants you to be.

564
00:42:05.640 --> 00:42:07.560
He's calling you out of hiding.

565
00:42:07.560 --> 00:42:09.520
He's calling you out of victimhood tonight.

566
00:42:09.520 --> 00:42:11.720
And he's saying, you don't have to dig.

567
00:42:11.720 --> 00:42:14.080
You don't have to try to piece your healing together.

568
00:42:14.080 --> 00:42:16.160
I've got this.

569
00:42:16.160 --> 00:42:20.400
And I'm going to reveal to you what you need at the appointed time.

570
00:42:20.400 --> 00:42:24.800
He's going to bring the things out of darkness into the light for healing.

571
00:42:24.800 --> 00:42:27.960
Trust what he brings up, lean into the Holy Spirit.

572
00:42:27.960 --> 00:42:30.240
And I always say this, pull the thread.

573
00:42:30.240 --> 00:42:31.800
What do I mean by that?

574
00:42:31.800 --> 00:42:36.040
When something trickles up to the surface, sometimes you're going to be like, well, that's

575
00:42:36.040 --> 00:42:37.040
weird.

576
00:42:37.040 --> 00:42:42.480
I haven't thought of that in like, I don't know, 20 years, maybe more, five years.

577
00:42:42.480 --> 00:42:46.160
Y'all, that is something trickling to the surface.

578
00:42:46.160 --> 00:42:50.480
So what we do when we pull the thread is we, instead of like kind of dismissing that

579
00:42:50.480 --> 00:42:56.560
and moving on, we're like, Lord, I haven't thought of that in like 20 years.

580
00:42:56.560 --> 00:43:01.160
Is there something that you're trying to reveal to me about it?

581
00:43:01.160 --> 00:43:06.240
Because if it's coming up, that means there's probably healing associated to that or even

582
00:43:06.240 --> 00:43:09.240
something else that's connected to that underneath.

583
00:43:09.240 --> 00:43:14.040
So you ask God really good questions, do your best to listen for the answer.

584
00:43:14.040 --> 00:43:17.440
And again, sometimes we might not hear it even right then.

585
00:43:17.440 --> 00:43:21.800
God might not be like, oh, this is why I'm showing you this and put all of it together

586
00:43:21.800 --> 00:43:23.320
right really quick.

587
00:43:23.320 --> 00:43:27.640
Sometimes it takes a few weeks, but we just ask and we trust.

588
00:43:27.640 --> 00:43:28.640
We move forward.

589
00:43:28.640 --> 00:43:31.080
We ask, we trust.

590
00:43:31.080 --> 00:43:36.920
So as you're going into your breakout sessions tonight, one of the things we're going to

591
00:43:36.920 --> 00:43:42.080
do is talk about what is God nudging you to surrender to him tonight?

592
00:43:42.120 --> 00:43:47.760
And no matter if you've been in this again for several months, a year, hopefully God

593
00:43:47.760 --> 00:43:52.560
is leading you to surrender something different tonight than he asked you to surrender several

594
00:43:52.560 --> 00:43:54.160
months ago.

595
00:43:54.160 --> 00:43:59.200
So if you've been with us that long, I really want to encourage you to not share the same

596
00:43:59.200 --> 00:44:03.480
thing that you shared before.

597
00:44:03.480 --> 00:44:05.900
Because we want you to practice moving on from that thing.

598
00:44:05.900 --> 00:44:09.960
Just like I was saying earlier, we don't want to keep rehashing the same things.

599
00:44:09.960 --> 00:44:10.960
Okay?

600
00:44:10.960 --> 00:44:11.960
All right.

601
00:44:12.040 --> 00:44:15.520
So your question is, what are some things God is nudging you to surrender to him tonight?

602
00:44:15.520 --> 00:44:19.640
So for those of you that are new, if you've never done a breakout session on Zoom, I'm

603
00:44:19.640 --> 00:44:23.440
going to set those up on the back end, and then you'll see a little prompt pop up on

604
00:44:23.440 --> 00:44:24.440
your screen.

605
00:44:24.440 --> 00:44:28.700
I'll let you know before it's going to come your way, and you'll just click to join that.

606
00:44:28.700 --> 00:44:34.800
If you get into a room and the other people are quiet and they're not talking, just wait

607
00:44:34.800 --> 00:44:38.060
for a minute and I'll move you around, or if I see that people can't go in rooms and

608
00:44:38.060 --> 00:44:39.060
things like that.

609
00:44:39.060 --> 00:44:44.500
So it doesn't typically take me too long to get people situated.

610
00:44:44.500 --> 00:44:46.500
All right.

611
00:44:46.500 --> 00:44:55.300
So we're going to do, yeah, let's do seven minutes, and here you go.

612
00:44:55.300 --> 00:44:58.900
Go ahead and click those as quick as you can to join those rooms.

613
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:05.220
Hello.

614
00:45:07.920 --> 00:45:17.400
Oh, Wendy, I hear other Wendy. I hear you already. How did you click to join that room? That popped up.

615
00:45:18.400 --> 00:45:19.400
Oh.

616
00:45:31.400 --> 00:45:35.400
All right. Give me a sec.

617
00:45:35.400 --> 00:46:04.400
Okay, thank you, Father. I think everyone's situated. Thank you so much, God, for what you're doing tonight. We thank you for all the ways that you do talk to us, Lord, and the way that you are revealing areas for healing.

618
00:46:05.400 --> 00:46:16.400
We know, God, that you have seen everything that we've ever walked through and that you're working all things together for good in our lives, not just for our good, but to save many people alive.

619
00:46:16.400 --> 00:46:28.400
We thank you, God, for continuing to remind us of, yes, Lord, the things that led us to our first love, which was you, God, that help us to let go of the things.

620
00:46:28.400 --> 00:46:35.400
Yeah, I just heard a scripture, the weights that so easily ensnare us so that we can press on toward the high calling of God for our lives.

621
00:46:35.400 --> 00:46:45.400
We thank you. I just heard the Lord say to pray over the things that are informing our thoughts.

622
00:46:45.400 --> 00:46:55.400
So, Lord, we just thank you for healing our minds, God, that you're transforming us by the renewing of our minds, that all old things are passing away and, behold, everything is becoming new in you.

623
00:46:55.400 --> 00:46:59.400
God, I thank you that you would help us to forget the former things.

624
00:46:59.400 --> 00:47:11.400
Yes, Lord, we will always remember the things we've been through, but, Lord, I pray that you would just remove the sting and the pain of death, the pain of loss, the pain of trauma.

625
00:47:11.400 --> 00:47:17.400
We thank you, God, for the balm of Gilead being placed upon our hearts, our minds, our bodies, our spirits, our souls.

626
00:47:17.400 --> 00:47:23.400
We thank you that you would give us an upgrade into the heavenly realms.

627
00:47:23.400 --> 00:47:29.400
Yes, Lord, help us to hear the heart of heaven over us tonight.

628
00:47:29.400 --> 00:47:46.400
We thank you, God, for helping us to yield to you in the process of surrendering, submission, God, that we would let go in this process, that you would help us to grow in the revelation of how we can trust you more every day.

629
00:47:47.400 --> 00:47:59.400
We thank you that even as I was talking about releasing earlier, I just turned in the heart work to this page where it's talking about revealing, which is different from releasing.

630
00:47:59.400 --> 00:48:05.400
Reveal simply means to make something known through divine inspiration. I love that.

631
00:48:05.400 --> 00:48:12.400
And so that's why we call it the revealing for healing, that we're gaining revelation and insight divinely from heaven.

632
00:48:12.400 --> 00:48:16.400
So, God, I thank you for upgrades and our ability to hear what your spirit is saying.

633
00:48:16.400 --> 00:48:29.400
I thank you that even as I put my hands on my ear, that this represents all those in the heart work and in the last year single community, that we are your sheep and we hear your voice and we will always obey what you tell us to do, Lord.

634
00:48:29.400 --> 00:48:36.400
I thank you that we will no longer allow the pitfalls of the past to keep us bound.

635
00:48:37.400 --> 00:48:44.400
God, I thank you that you are continuing to reveal your heart for us and over us.

636
00:48:44.400 --> 00:48:52.400
And I thank you, God, that you are bringing healing into the deepest, darkest places of our soul.

637
00:48:52.400 --> 00:48:56.400
God, even places that we don't remember things that happened in our subconscious.

638
00:48:56.400 --> 00:48:59.400
I thank you that you know those things, you haven't forgotten them.

639
00:49:00.400 --> 00:49:06.400
And God, I thank you that you're working on our behalf in every one of those areas right now.

640
00:49:06.400 --> 00:49:09.400
I thank you that your word declares in 2 Timothy 1, 7,

641
00:49:21.400 --> 00:49:25.400
God, I thank you that you would help us to walk in the truth of your love.

642
00:49:26.400 --> 00:49:30.400
Yes, Lord, that your perfect love casts out all fear because fear has to do with torment.

643
00:49:30.400 --> 00:49:37.400
So God, I thank you that you would help us to become more and more rooted and grounded in your love and your truth and your healing and your grace.

644
00:49:40.400 --> 00:49:42.400
Yes, Lord, Isaiah 41, 10 says,

645
00:49:42.400 --> 00:49:45.400
Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God.

646
00:49:45.400 --> 00:49:51.400
I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

647
00:49:51.400 --> 00:49:54.400
In this translation, it actually says victorious right hand.

648
00:49:54.400 --> 00:49:59.400
Sometimes when I'm praying, y'all, I go back to the way I memorized it, but this was a little different.

649
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:05.460
But either way, the righteous right hand, his victorious right hand, it's a good reminder

650
00:50:05.460 --> 00:50:07.020
that God is victorious.

651
00:50:07.020 --> 00:50:09.560
Jesus already came and he won the battle.

652
00:50:09.560 --> 00:50:10.560
He died.

653
00:50:10.560 --> 00:50:16.380
He brought the victory for us and so part of our journey of the healing is also learning

654
00:50:16.380 --> 00:50:21.920
how to step into that victory, how to partner with God in the victory.

655
00:50:21.920 --> 00:50:29.500
And so Lord, we just thank you that you would help us to gain that revelation more tonight.

656
00:50:29.500 --> 00:50:36.260
And yeah, just to, um, I just read part of the scripture and it just made me think about

657
00:50:36.260 --> 00:50:40.980
just the reality of oftentimes we look in the mirror and we don't like what we see and

658
00:50:40.980 --> 00:50:43.500
some people love what they see and that's awesome.

659
00:50:43.500 --> 00:50:52.420
But I know like there's this old picture I can remember seeing it and there was one image

660
00:50:52.420 --> 00:50:56.540
where the little cat would see a lion, but then there was also the opposite and I'm trying

661
00:50:56.540 --> 00:50:59.220
to think of what it was, but that's what came to mind.

662
00:50:59.220 --> 00:51:04.660
Like sometimes we, we look in the mirror and we really think of ourselves smaller than

663
00:51:04.660 --> 00:51:08.380
what we are, but you know, what does God see?

664
00:51:08.380 --> 00:51:14.780
So God, I thank you that you would open our hearts, expand our vision to see what you

665
00:51:14.780 --> 00:51:18.460
see when you look in the mirror at us.

666
00:51:18.460 --> 00:51:23.140
Just like you would help us to hear what your spirit is saying over us louder than any voice

667
00:51:23.140 --> 00:51:26.260
of the enemy.

668
00:51:26.260 --> 00:51:32.300
I thank you Lord that the more that we heal and grow as we go, the more that we can break

669
00:51:32.300 --> 00:51:35.460
free from the chains that have bound us in the past.

670
00:51:35.460 --> 00:51:40.780
I thank you God for anointing, um, yeah, our pathways.

671
00:51:40.780 --> 00:51:46.740
I thank you God that you're continuing to lead us and guide us in every way, in every

672
00:51:46.740 --> 00:51:47.740
area.

673
00:51:47.740 --> 00:51:55.260
I thank you that, um, in James 4, 7, it says this, so then surrender to God, stand up to

674
00:51:55.260 --> 00:51:59.860
the devil and resist him and he will turn away from you.

675
00:51:59.860 --> 00:52:04.540
I think that's such an important part of this process is that we would stand up to the devil,

676
00:52:04.540 --> 00:52:09.660
that we would just stop taking his crap, so to speak, and all the stinking thinking that

677
00:52:09.660 --> 00:52:13.020
he sends to our minds on a daily basis.

678
00:52:13.020 --> 00:52:18.740
And even sometimes just that getting our flesh into submission and really aligning ourselves

679
00:52:18.740 --> 00:52:23.020
with the fullness of everything God has for us.

680
00:52:23.020 --> 00:52:28.900
Job 22 verse 21 in the NLC also says this, submit to God and you will have peace.

681
00:52:28.900 --> 00:52:32.580
Then things will go well with you.

682
00:52:32.580 --> 00:52:35.680
So God is continuing to work in our hearts.

683
00:52:35.680 --> 00:52:41.060
We can trust him in the process and he can enable us and empower us with the ability

684
00:52:41.060 --> 00:52:42.260
to surrender.

685
00:52:42.260 --> 00:52:46.220
So if we struggle to surrender, guess who we can ask for help?

686
00:52:46.220 --> 00:52:50.500
The Lord, the Holy Spirit, who enables us to do everything.

687
00:52:50.500 --> 00:52:53.740
The power that rose Jesus from the dead is living on the inside of us.

688
00:52:53.740 --> 00:52:57.140
So let's tap into that when we struggle to surrender.

689
00:52:57.140 --> 00:52:58.540
Welcome back, ladies.

690
00:52:58.540 --> 00:52:59.900
So glad to have you here again.

691
00:52:59.900 --> 00:53:04.960
For those of you that don't know why I'm just talking, I pray and I just release things

692
00:53:04.960 --> 00:53:10.200
while y'all are in the breakout session over you all, as well as people that are going

693
00:53:10.200 --> 00:53:13.260
to watch the replay and all of that.

694
00:53:13.260 --> 00:53:15.540
So excited to see you all back here.

695
00:53:15.540 --> 00:53:18.780
I do want to make sure I don't lose my spot there.

696
00:53:18.780 --> 00:53:19.780
Sorry about that.

697
00:53:19.780 --> 00:53:20.780
All right.

698
00:53:20.780 --> 00:53:21.780
So our other activation.

699
00:53:21.780 --> 00:53:23.500
Y'all, I'm not going to go into explaining it a lot.

700
00:53:23.500 --> 00:53:24.820
I already posted it in the group.

701
00:53:24.820 --> 00:53:26.300
Y'all, I forgot last week.

702
00:53:26.300 --> 00:53:28.780
I posted it this morning.

703
00:53:28.780 --> 00:53:31.420
You'll see it in there.

704
00:53:31.420 --> 00:53:34.740
And I thought when I was in there this morning, I'm going to go ahead and post the one for

705
00:53:34.740 --> 00:53:39.260
tonight so that I don't forget when I log off and get busy throughout the week and forget

706
00:53:39.260 --> 00:53:40.260
again.

707
00:53:40.260 --> 00:53:44.460
And so you'll see the Never Will I Ever from last week is posted under your announcements

708
00:53:44.460 --> 00:53:45.460
tab.

709
00:53:45.460 --> 00:53:49.380
That's where you're going to find the activations every week when I post them and pin them.

710
00:53:49.980 --> 00:53:53.820
You'll see them under the announcement tab, but the ones for this week is completing your

711
00:53:53.820 --> 00:53:54.820
permission slip.

712
00:53:54.820 --> 00:53:55.820
Okay.

713
00:53:55.820 --> 00:54:01.940
There's, I said two earlier, but there's actually three, but they're, they're fairly easy ones.

714
00:54:01.940 --> 00:54:03.380
Okay.

715
00:54:03.380 --> 00:54:04.580
The permission slip.

716
00:54:04.580 --> 00:54:09.780
We give you this a couple of times in your heart healing process on purpose because giving

717
00:54:09.780 --> 00:54:14.620
God permission is so vital to this process.

718
00:54:14.860 --> 00:54:19.500
Oh, Karen, I don't know.

719
00:54:19.500 --> 00:54:21.820
Was it missing from last week?

720
00:54:21.820 --> 00:54:23.180
I will have to check on that.

721
00:54:23.180 --> 00:54:28.740
I normally always check and I didn't last week because typically they get those up like

722
00:54:28.740 --> 00:54:29.740
clockwork.

723
00:54:29.740 --> 00:54:32.940
I will definitely check on that.

724
00:54:32.940 --> 00:54:34.980
So there's just one permission slip.

725
00:54:34.980 --> 00:54:38.700
There's just one, but I just always ask you guys to fill it out a couple of times because

726
00:54:38.700 --> 00:54:43.820
I think it's important to revisit it, to continue to surrender things God is putting on our

727
00:54:43.820 --> 00:54:51.540
heart, but also to put it up, to print it out, you know, hang it up, pray it over yourself.

728
00:54:51.540 --> 00:54:53.780
I used to pray it over myself every day.

729
00:54:53.780 --> 00:54:56.260
That's just, I, that's just what I felt led to do.

730
00:54:56.260 --> 00:54:59.980
Y'all, I don't want you to feel like it's some religious thing, but.

731
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:06.800
It did help me just partner with that submission and surrender, that heart posture, the whole way through.

732
00:55:06.800 --> 00:55:10.800
And I prayed it out loud over myself, okay?

733
00:55:10.800 --> 00:55:15.300
Jesus Cares Word that I talked about earlier, okay?

734
00:55:15.300 --> 00:55:20.600
And then I'm calling it, this is what I just call it, you guys can call it whatever you want,

735
00:55:20.600 --> 00:55:25.800
but Morning and Evening Surrender Moments.

736
00:55:26.000 --> 00:55:31.500
So, I'm really bummed that that's really sticking in my head that that is not in there from the replay

737
00:55:31.500 --> 00:55:35.200
because that last week's session was really good.

738
00:55:35.200 --> 00:55:41.700
Let me just check on this really quick. I'm sorry, I feel like I need to do that.

739
00:55:41.700 --> 00:55:45.200
Wow, that's spinning. Let's see here.

740
00:55:45.200 --> 00:55:48.500
It sure isn't there. I'm so sorry about that, you all.

741
00:55:48.500 --> 00:55:52.400
I will work on that and we'll get that up right away.

742
00:55:52.400 --> 00:55:54.600
Some people are probably wondering where that was.

743
00:55:54.700 --> 00:55:57.100
All right, so Morning and Evening Surrender Moments.

744
00:55:57.100 --> 00:56:04.300
So, I just have typed up, you'll see it in there, a little prayer to pray over yourself in the morning.

745
00:56:04.300 --> 00:56:08.100
I write in there before you get out of bed, but you all,

746
00:56:08.100 --> 00:56:14.300
I'm like, half the time I get up out of the bed and I'm just like, coffee.

747
00:56:14.300 --> 00:56:16.000
That's like one of the first things I do.

748
00:56:16.000 --> 00:56:19.800
So, if you're like me, you can do it after you get your cup of coffee,

749
00:56:19.800 --> 00:56:22.800
but to pray it over yourself, whatever works for you.

750
00:56:22.800 --> 00:56:25.800
But just to pray that morning kind of connection, this is what it says.

751
00:56:25.800 --> 00:56:28.700
Before getting out of bed, place your hand on your heart and ask,

752
00:56:28.700 --> 00:56:35.200
Holy Spirit, what am I trying to control today that belongs to you?

753
00:56:35.200 --> 00:56:40.300
Then speak it out, whatever it is. I surrender my need to control,

754
00:56:40.300 --> 00:56:45.500
I'll say it, my daughter Michaela's relationship today.

755
00:56:45.500 --> 00:56:48.300
I just give that to you, Lord.

756
00:56:48.300 --> 00:56:52.300
And then in the evening before we go to sleep, same kind of hand on heart posture.

757
00:56:52.300 --> 00:56:56.100
Y'all, this is something I don't know if it's just when I was a baby

758
00:56:56.100 --> 00:56:58.100
and I would rock and people would hold me.

759
00:56:58.100 --> 00:57:02.300
I don't know why, but I just feel so close to the Lord when I put my hand on my heart.

760
00:57:02.300 --> 00:57:04.000
I do it in worship all the time.

761
00:57:04.000 --> 00:57:08.000
I do it when I pray sometimes and a lot of times I'll activate people

762
00:57:08.000 --> 00:57:10.500
because there's just this connection point, right?

763
00:57:10.500 --> 00:57:11.900
That's what I think of.

764
00:57:11.900 --> 00:57:14.400
So, if that helps you all know why I always say,

765
00:57:14.400 --> 00:57:17.300
hey, put your hand on your heart, that's why I do that.

766
00:57:17.300 --> 00:57:21.200
But same kind of heart posture, it's like that connection point.

767
00:57:21.200 --> 00:57:27.000
Lord, what did I pick back up today that I had already given to you?

768
00:57:27.000 --> 00:57:28.400
Then resurrender it.

769
00:57:28.400 --> 00:57:36.700
Jesus, I place this, I place the financial debt of the church back in your hands.

770
00:57:36.700 --> 00:57:38.400
We're actually not really in massive debt.

771
00:57:38.400 --> 00:57:39.900
We're about to take on the loan.

772
00:57:39.900 --> 00:57:43.500
But Lord, I just give it to you before we even have it.

773
00:57:43.500 --> 00:57:48.800
He knows how that's going to work out and I don't need to stress about it.

774
00:57:48.800 --> 00:57:52.200
We need to be wise stewards of it and of this beautiful building

775
00:57:52.200 --> 00:57:56.100
that we're putting back together for his kingdom.

776
00:57:56.100 --> 00:57:57.300
But that's his church.

777
00:57:57.300 --> 00:57:59.200
That's his building.

778
00:57:59.200 --> 00:58:01.200
We just get to steward it.

779
00:58:01.200 --> 00:58:02.200
I'm just being honest with you all.

780
00:58:02.200 --> 00:58:04.600
These are things that weigh on us.

781
00:58:04.600 --> 00:58:07.600
That's one of the things that weighs on me

782
00:58:07.600 --> 00:58:11.800
and all the people that are going to be blessed if we finish this work.

783
00:58:11.800 --> 00:58:13.900
Right now, it's just a building we're finishing.

784
00:58:13.900 --> 00:58:15.900
There's so much more to come.

785
00:58:15.900 --> 00:58:17.700
Yours might be something totally different,

786
00:58:17.700 --> 00:58:20.300
but I'm just using those as examples to help you.

787
00:58:20.300 --> 00:58:23.100
So make sure you're taking some time.

788
00:58:23.100 --> 00:58:26.800
You know, and again, in our busy society, we're all, myself included,

789
00:58:26.800 --> 00:58:29.200
we're like rushing from one thing to another to another.

790
00:58:29.200 --> 00:58:32.700
Sometimes we're doing three things at once and the Lord is just like,

791
00:58:32.700 --> 00:58:37.100
hey, slow down.

792
00:58:37.100 --> 00:58:38.400
Your heart matters.

793
00:58:38.400 --> 00:58:41.100
Connecting with yourself matters.

794
00:58:41.100 --> 00:58:44.600
Resting matters.

795
00:58:44.600 --> 00:58:48.500
Okay, so now we're going to open it up for coaching.

796
00:58:48.500 --> 00:58:51.800
So this is how, for those of you that are new, this is how I like to do it.

797
00:58:51.800 --> 00:58:54.500
Y'all can raise your hand if you're willing to share with the whole group

798
00:58:54.500 --> 00:58:56.800
what you shared in the private group.

799
00:58:56.800 --> 00:59:02.300
And then I tend to, if I feel led, I'll coach y'all on stuff if you need help coaching.

800
00:59:02.300 --> 00:59:04.300
If you just feel led to share tonight and you're just like,

801
00:59:04.300 --> 00:59:06.400
hey, I just want to share real quick, cool.

802
00:59:06.400 --> 00:59:11.500
But sometimes I tend to get really excited and then I think of other things to say

803
00:59:11.500 --> 00:59:13.000
and then we'll have a good old time.

804
00:59:13.100 --> 00:59:16.100
All right, Karen, I would love to hear what you have to say.

805
00:59:17.900 --> 00:59:20.400
Yes, I kind of shared a little bit in the group,

806
00:59:20.400 --> 00:59:26.400
but I feel like this is like the biggest revealing for healing

807
00:59:26.400 --> 00:59:29.900
that I've experienced since being in the room.

808
00:59:29.900 --> 00:59:36.200
So I attended last week for the first time a morning session of heart check-in with,

809
00:59:36.200 --> 00:59:37.300
is it Andrea?

810
00:59:37.300 --> 00:59:38.200
Yes.

811
00:59:38.200 --> 00:59:42.300
And I found that I was sharing the same thing I had shared with you

812
00:59:42.300 --> 00:59:45.600
a couple weeks ago, but I didn't realize until after I had shared it

813
00:59:45.600 --> 00:59:49.900
about giving money to my family in the Philippines.

814
00:59:49.900 --> 00:59:52.700
And I'm like, you know, God, why is this really bothering me?

815
00:59:52.700 --> 00:59:54.500
Like what is going on?

816
00:59:54.500 --> 01:00:00.000
And he revealed to me an incident when I was going through my divorce.

817
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:05.000
And I had nowhere else to go, so I stayed with my parents,

818
01:00:05.220 --> 01:00:10.220
but they had some investment properties in another city.

819
01:00:10.540 --> 01:00:15.540
And I felt like I remember vividly

820
01:00:16.020 --> 01:00:20.060
like my dad's saying like, you need to help us out.

821
01:00:20.060 --> 01:00:24.140
So my school and my kids' school was in the city

822
01:00:24.140 --> 01:00:26.300
where my parents lived, but I was having to go

823
01:00:26.300 --> 01:00:30.580
like an hour out to the house where they lived.

824
01:00:30.580 --> 01:00:33.460
And I just felt like there was so much rage

825
01:00:33.460 --> 01:00:36.780
that came out of me that when it was revealed to me,

826
01:00:36.780 --> 01:00:41.780
like I felt exploited, like it's like I felt obligated

827
01:00:42.340 --> 01:00:43.700
that I had to help them out.

828
01:00:43.700 --> 01:00:46.300
And I was in such a vulnerable state

829
01:00:46.300 --> 01:00:48.180
of going through a divorce.

830
01:00:48.180 --> 01:00:50.740
And then there was another incident around that time.

831
01:00:50.740 --> 01:00:53.020
And I can't remember exactly the details,

832
01:00:53.020 --> 01:00:55.820
but because my last name was still different than theirs,

833
01:00:55.820 --> 01:00:59.540
they had me lie so they could receive this check.

834
01:00:59.540 --> 01:01:04.540
And so I feel like it was also triggered by,

835
01:01:06.020 --> 01:01:07.180
since my mom has passed,

836
01:01:07.180 --> 01:01:09.420
I've been helping my dad with their properties.

837
01:01:09.420 --> 01:01:11.580
And last year when I was helping him,

838
01:01:11.580 --> 01:01:14.540
he made a comment to like the agent that was helping us.

839
01:01:14.540 --> 01:01:17.380
Like, well, if I had money, I'd help my daughter out

840
01:01:17.380 --> 01:01:20.060
or the person that was originally gonna buy

841
01:01:20.060 --> 01:01:22.300
the condo from them.

842
01:01:22.300 --> 01:01:25.500
The first offer she said,

843
01:01:25.500 --> 01:01:27.620
she didn't have anyone to help her with the down payment.

844
01:01:27.620 --> 01:01:30.420
And my dad made it sound like, oh, she needs money.

845
01:01:30.420 --> 01:01:31.580
Oh, I'll give it to her.

846
01:01:31.580 --> 01:01:34.140
Like, I just felt like so mad,

847
01:01:34.140 --> 01:01:37.540
like here he's trying to look like a certain person

848
01:01:37.540 --> 01:01:38.420
in front of others.

849
01:01:38.420 --> 01:01:41.700
And I honestly was like, I'm gonna go confront him on this.

850
01:01:41.700 --> 01:01:43.300
And then I'll share here later.

851
01:01:44.620 --> 01:01:46.740
Like, I feel like I need to let him know.

852
01:01:46.740 --> 01:01:49.260
Cause I feel like I've been so silenced

853
01:01:49.260 --> 01:01:52.300
and manipulated where we were taught,

854
01:01:52.300 --> 01:01:54.140
like keep everything to yourself.

855
01:01:54.140 --> 01:01:57.500
And he makes it seem like we're having to,

856
01:01:57.500 --> 01:02:00.140
it's like a joint agreement now with my siblings and him,

857
01:02:00.140 --> 01:02:02.460
but it's still him controlling the situation

858
01:02:02.460 --> 01:02:05.140
of how he wants to handle this.

859
01:02:05.140 --> 01:02:07.420
I think because we're going to the Philippines

860
01:02:07.420 --> 01:02:09.020
and he has land there.

861
01:02:09.020 --> 01:02:11.060
And so the pressure's there where I feel like

862
01:02:11.060 --> 01:02:13.140
I'm gonna explode when I'm over there

863
01:02:13.140 --> 01:02:15.500
in frustration towards them, so.

864
01:02:15.500 --> 01:02:17.700
These are such powerful connections.

865
01:02:17.780 --> 01:02:19.620
And hopefully when I said that earlier,

866
01:02:19.620 --> 01:02:22.020
I'm not saying you guys can't ever share the same thing

867
01:02:22.020 --> 01:02:25.060
cause sometimes you need to, to make additional connections.

868
01:02:25.060 --> 01:02:27.140
I'm just saying sometimes people will,

869
01:02:27.140 --> 01:02:30.540
even a year later be saying the same kind of thing,

870
01:02:30.540 --> 01:02:31.860
exactly the same way.

871
01:02:31.860 --> 01:02:32.900
This is totally different.

872
01:02:32.900 --> 01:02:34.620
Like, even though you're sharing about that,

873
01:02:34.620 --> 01:02:37.420
you've had this whole new layer

874
01:02:37.420 --> 01:02:38.500
that's been revealed to you.

875
01:02:38.500 --> 01:02:40.140
Do you see the difference there?

876
01:02:40.140 --> 01:02:40.980
Yeah.

877
01:02:40.980 --> 01:02:42.580
So I just want to make sure you understood that part.

878
01:02:42.580 --> 01:02:45.420
Something really important that I want to draw out of this,

879
01:02:45.420 --> 01:02:48.100
and I understand why you said it, okay?

880
01:02:48.100 --> 01:02:50.540
So I want to preface that, and a lot of us do it.

881
01:02:50.540 --> 01:02:51.580
I've done it too.

882
01:02:53.900 --> 01:02:55.980
First, let me ask a discovery question

883
01:02:55.980 --> 01:02:58.220
before I actually say what I was going to say.

884
01:02:58.220 --> 01:03:02.260
When you lied for your parents,

885
01:03:02.260 --> 01:03:05.300
when they asked you to lie for them, how old were you?

886
01:03:06.460 --> 01:03:08.740
I was 21.

887
01:03:08.740 --> 01:03:09.580
Okay.

888
01:03:09.580 --> 01:03:10.420
You were 21.

889
01:03:10.420 --> 01:03:12.260
Was this when you were going through your divorce,

890
01:03:12.260 --> 01:03:14.060
did you say, when that was happening?

891
01:03:14.060 --> 01:03:14.900
Okay.

892
01:03:14.900 --> 01:03:16.900
So you were in that kind of vulnerable state

893
01:03:16.900 --> 01:03:18.580
when that happened as well, right?

894
01:03:18.580 --> 01:03:19.420
Okay.

895
01:03:20.300 --> 01:03:22.620
So the way that you said it,

896
01:03:22.620 --> 01:03:25.060
and again, out of our heart

897
01:03:25.060 --> 01:03:27.860
is how our mouth is going to speak, okay?

898
01:03:27.860 --> 01:03:32.100
You said, they made me lie for them, okay?

899
01:03:32.100 --> 01:03:35.100
So what I want to kind of draw out for everybody,

900
01:03:35.100 --> 01:03:37.820
and I'm not saying they didn't put a lot of pressure on you

901
01:03:37.820 --> 01:03:40.580
and that you weren't in a very difficult situation,

902
01:03:40.580 --> 01:03:43.140
but when we say they made me,

903
01:03:43.140 --> 01:03:47.900
we make those people in power over us.

904
01:03:47.900 --> 01:03:50.380
And we might've felt like that in the situation,

905
01:03:50.380 --> 01:03:52.500
even though we're an adult at that,

906
01:03:52.500 --> 01:03:55.940
because you were 21 at that age, very young still,

907
01:03:55.940 --> 01:03:59.740
very influential, like being easily influenced at that age,

908
01:03:59.740 --> 01:04:00.980
most of us.

909
01:04:00.980 --> 01:04:04.380
And so that isn't to make you feel bad at all,

910
01:04:04.380 --> 01:04:06.420
because we didn't know what we didn't know

911
01:04:06.420 --> 01:04:09.260
back whenever we made decisions that we made.

912
01:04:09.980 --> 01:04:13.780
I said very similar things about my ex-husband

913
01:04:13.780 --> 01:04:15.060
for a long time.

914
01:04:15.060 --> 01:04:19.620
He made me, you know, lose my house.

915
01:04:19.620 --> 01:04:21.500
Now, some of that I couldn't control

916
01:04:21.500 --> 01:04:24.100
because he was hiding so many things.

917
01:04:24.100 --> 01:04:27.300
But when we give people that power by saying,

918
01:04:27.300 --> 01:04:30.300
they made me feel this way, they made me do this,

919
01:04:30.300 --> 01:04:33.420
but we did actually have a choice,

920
01:04:36.340 --> 01:04:37.500
those are the kinds of things

921
01:04:37.500 --> 01:04:39.940
that cause us to not trust ourselves.

922
01:04:41.260 --> 01:04:43.060
Does that make sense?

923
01:04:43.060 --> 01:04:45.500
And so when we reframe it,

924
01:04:45.500 --> 01:04:47.700
that's all I wanna encourage you to do.

925
01:04:47.700 --> 01:04:50.700
I want you to really consider how you frame this,

926
01:04:50.700 --> 01:04:53.960
even as you maybe talk to your dad at some point.

927
01:04:55.060 --> 01:04:58.500
I want you to own how you felt, okay?

928
01:04:58.500 --> 01:05:00.140
So dad,

929
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:04.060
add, and I'm just going to give this as an idea. When you asked

930
01:05:04.060 --> 01:05:09.860
me to lie for you, and pressured me or whatever the dynamic was,

931
01:05:10.540 --> 01:05:20.180
I felt like I had to do it. You know, or I felt angry that you

932
01:05:20.180 --> 01:05:23.940
even asked me to lie for you know, again, you get to say

933
01:05:23.940 --> 01:05:28.500
whatever the feelings were, but owning your feelings and

934
01:05:28.500 --> 01:05:34.680
expressing how you felt and letting him know that that is

935
01:05:34.680 --> 01:05:38.500
not a boundary you want to cross again in the future is going to

936
01:05:38.500 --> 01:05:42.740
be really important to your healing process. Okay. And so

937
01:05:42.740 --> 01:05:46.520
for anybody, you know, we have to really look at what we don't

938
01:05:46.520 --> 01:05:51.020
have to we get to choose to look at where do we give other

939
01:05:51.020 --> 01:05:54.780
people ownership of our decisions? Where are we giving

940
01:05:54.780 --> 01:05:58.300
other people control over us because of us and then that

941
01:05:58.300 --> 01:06:03.900
makes us the victim. Okay, now again, they were your parents

942
01:06:03.900 --> 01:06:07.900
and I'm sure just even culturally, I didn't grow up in

943
01:06:07.900 --> 01:06:12.420
the Philippines. But I do know just my my girls, their

944
01:06:12.940 --> 01:06:16.060
grandmother and their mom are originally from Indonesia. I

945
01:06:16.060 --> 01:06:20.460
know I've heard a lot of stuff that like their grandma and

946
01:06:20.460 --> 01:06:25.980
their mom went through. And so I understand it's a lot different

947
01:06:26.980 --> 01:06:30.300
even than in the US. And, you know, but there's still a lot of

948
01:06:30.300 --> 01:06:33.300
not good stuff that happens here. And so I just want to say

949
01:06:33.300 --> 01:06:36.900
like, I don't know what it was like for you when you were going

950
01:06:36.900 --> 01:06:40.980
through that. And I'm really sorry that your parents put you

951
01:06:40.980 --> 01:06:46.220
in the position even at 21 and asked you to lie for them. That

952
01:06:46.220 --> 01:06:49.900
just wasn't very kind. And I want to support you in that. And

953
01:06:49.900 --> 01:06:53.340
so I'm glad this is coming up. I'm glad that you're piecing

954
01:06:53.340 --> 01:06:56.900
this together, and that you're recognizing the anger that you

955
01:06:56.900 --> 01:07:02.660
feel that is such a good start. Because you're owning that feel

956
01:07:02.660 --> 01:07:05.140
the feel so that we can God can heal the fields. This is the

957
01:07:05.140 --> 01:07:09.100
beginning of all of this kind of coming out so that you can

958
01:07:09.100 --> 01:07:12.380
really pray about what you want to say when you do talk to your

959
01:07:12.380 --> 01:07:15.220
dad. Because if I'm understanding correctly, you do

960
01:07:15.220 --> 01:07:16.420
feel like to talk to him.

961
01:07:17.580 --> 01:07:22.380
Yes. And I think it helped to I think someone in the community

962
01:07:22.380 --> 01:07:27.500
post about in or you talked address and measurement. And I

963
01:07:27.500 --> 01:07:33.500
also watched the video soul ties and seeing how those things I

964
01:07:33.540 --> 01:07:38.060
and then Andrea also mentioned codependency my how that has

965
01:07:38.060 --> 01:07:43.860
happened in my relationship with my dad and wanting it to be

966
01:07:44.300 --> 01:07:49.260
different and knowing how now do I do this? And why do it versus

967
01:07:49.380 --> 01:07:53.940
I want to take control this or I want to do this and kind of go

968
01:07:53.940 --> 01:07:54.860
to him with it.

969
01:07:55.340 --> 01:08:00.540
Yes. And you know, it I was I was watching a show. I sounds

970
01:08:00.540 --> 01:08:02.300
like that's my like thing tonight. I was talking to

971
01:08:02.300 --> 01:08:05.340
someone and I was watching a show. But legit, it makes me

972
01:08:05.340 --> 01:08:09.420
think of this. We were my husband and I like to watch

973
01:08:09.420 --> 01:08:13.660
SWAT. And, and so we were watching that. And this one

974
01:08:13.660 --> 01:08:16.460
scene, one of the guys in the show, his mom when he was

975
01:08:16.460 --> 01:08:21.100
younger, really manipulated him and encouraged him to call his

976
01:08:21.100 --> 01:08:24.660
dad into the room. His dad was really abusive guy. And the boy

977
01:08:24.660 --> 01:08:27.060
called the dad into the room and then the mom shot him. But the

978
01:08:27.060 --> 01:08:35.420
way the mom twisted it was that she saved him. She did it all

979
01:08:35.420 --> 01:08:39.140
for him. And so she would use that to like, manipulate him and

980
01:08:39.140 --> 01:08:42.859
control him. And I'm not saying it's the same at all. But I'm

981
01:08:42.859 --> 01:08:46.260
bringing that up because the reality is, is some of us,

982
01:08:46.260 --> 01:08:50.540
unfortunately, our parents did twist things and communicate

983
01:08:50.540 --> 01:08:54.460
them to us in a way that as young children, or even young

984
01:08:54.460 --> 01:09:00.660
adults, we felt powerless to their control. And so I just

985
01:09:00.660 --> 01:09:03.340
kind of want to circle back to kind of what I started with and

986
01:09:03.380 --> 01:09:08.700
and really support you. In the fact that you you, it sounds

987
01:09:08.700 --> 01:09:11.979
like you did lie for them and, and that God saw you in that

988
01:09:11.979 --> 01:09:15.620
moment. And no, like, He knows everything that you felt. And He

989
01:09:15.620 --> 01:09:21.620
wants to come into that moment with you and heal Karen at 21

990
01:09:21.660 --> 01:09:25.500
that felt all of whatever it is that you felt. And so I want to

991
01:09:25.500 --> 01:09:28.660
encourage you this week to spend some time with the Lord regarding

992
01:09:28.660 --> 01:09:33.620
that, even as you pray into what to say to your dad, and, and

993
01:09:33.620 --> 01:09:36.779
when to say it and all of that. But just to really allow Jesus

994
01:09:36.779 --> 01:09:41.779
to come into those moments and heal you there. Because He

995
01:09:41.779 --> 01:09:44.779
wants to take and lift that burden off of you so that when

996
01:09:44.779 --> 01:09:50.180
you talk to your dad, you might still feel upset. But I, I

997
01:09:50.180 --> 01:09:54.100
believe the Lord wants to take the rage out of it. Does that

998
01:09:54.100 --> 01:09:57.100
make sense? Like the stinger? He wants to take the stinger out.

999
01:09:58.340 --> 01:09:58.860
Yeah.

1000
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:05.600
You know, when stuff stings us, when it's deep in there, no matter how much we don't want it

1001
01:10:05.600 --> 01:10:11.600
to get triggered when we're trying to communicate to someone, most times it will. And so allowing

1002
01:10:11.600 --> 01:10:18.560
God to heal that and kind of remove that deep pain out of there as much as possible will be a really

1003
01:10:18.560 --> 01:10:23.920
good thing before you try to have a conversation. Especially if the person, remember too, as you

1004
01:10:23.920 --> 01:10:31.200
talk to your dad, he may not be open to change, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't communicate.

1005
01:10:32.400 --> 01:10:38.000
Okay. Yeah. Yeah. We'll be praying for you. I can't wait to hear how this continues to go.

1006
01:10:38.000 --> 01:10:43.840
And I just feel excited for you as you're learning how to come out of enmeshment and kind of all

1007
01:10:43.840 --> 01:10:49.760
those lines being blurred and, and really gain confidence in your voice and who you are. Yeah.

1008
01:10:49.760 --> 01:10:54.800
It's pretty exciting stuff. Thank you for sharing that with us. Appreciate you. Tatiana, go ahead.

1009
01:10:58.400 --> 01:11:03.440
I have a quick little share before I start. A while back you had challenged me to like really

1010
01:11:04.320 --> 01:11:09.040
get like, just kind of plug into community. And I've really been starting to get closer with my

1011
01:11:09.040 --> 01:11:13.120
siblings and we went squishy hunting the other day. It's like a trend where you just go to

1012
01:11:13.120 --> 01:11:17.040
different stores and buy different squishies. So I have like a bunch of little like needles

1013
01:11:17.040 --> 01:11:20.400
right here I've been fidgeting with, but it's been really good. I've been definitely growing

1014
01:11:20.400 --> 01:11:27.520
in that aspect. But the thing that was put on my heart and I rolled my eyes at it when God

1015
01:11:27.520 --> 01:11:34.480
like brought it up, but I have two jobs and at one of my jobs, there's a coworker I have who she's

1016
01:11:34.480 --> 01:11:41.680
significantly older than me. And I just, I do not like her. We've had a few like incidents and I've

1017
01:11:41.680 --> 01:11:49.120
had to like report her because there's just been different things where it kind of just felt like

1018
01:11:49.120 --> 01:11:59.280
she was making a big deal out of nothing. And I just like, I've, I just don't like her. And I feel

1019
01:11:59.280 --> 01:12:04.880
like I don't know how to navigate the relationship with her because like, I don't have to see,

1020
01:12:04.880 --> 01:12:09.840
like, I don't see her every single time I go to work, but it's like, she'll do something.

1021
01:12:10.720 --> 01:12:18.000
Like she'll talk to me like as if I'm stupid or she'll make a big deal out of nothing or

1022
01:12:20.240 --> 01:12:27.360
I don't know, like, honestly, anyone. Yeah. Like the struggles I've had with my dad.

1023
01:12:28.000 --> 01:12:35.280
And I think that's why, like, yeah, that's why I think it it's so hard to work with her, but it's

1024
01:12:35.280 --> 01:12:43.040
like, she'll do things and it'll make me mad. Oh, no, I will feel mad. I will feel mad. And then

1025
01:12:43.040 --> 01:12:48.240
like the next time she sees me, she wants to act like we're cool and like nothing happened. And

1026
01:12:48.240 --> 01:12:52.800
that's the thing that gets to me the most. And that's why I'm like, I don't even want to like

1027
01:12:52.800 --> 01:12:57.360
work with you. I don't want to see you because it's like, you think it's okay to just do these

1028
01:12:57.360 --> 01:13:02.160
things and then act like, I don't know, like, it's okay. And it's like, it's not okay. Like,

1029
01:13:02.960 --> 01:13:08.720
like that made me upset that made other people upset. And yeah, and it's like,

1030
01:13:10.000 --> 01:13:14.240
like other people that work knows she's hard to work with. And like, even when I had to report

1031
01:13:14.240 --> 01:13:17.600
her, like, I wasn't going to do that at first, but I was talking to my boss about what happened.

1032
01:13:17.600 --> 01:13:22.880
And he's like, I need you to write all this down. And like, so I can like figure this situation out.

1033
01:13:22.880 --> 01:13:27.680
So I know like, I'm not, I'm not like making a big deal out of nothing like,

1034
01:13:28.640 --> 01:13:34.480
yeah, but still, I'm like, I, I don't know how to navigate it. Because it's like, I don't even want

1035
01:13:34.480 --> 01:13:35.920
to see her. Yeah.

1036
01:13:37.280 --> 01:13:42.400
I wish this was an easy one. You know, unfortunately, there's going to be times where

1037
01:13:42.400 --> 01:13:48.720
we just somebody is going to rub us the wrong way. And oftentimes, it is because they remind us of

1038
01:13:48.720 --> 01:13:55.360
someone else, and the way that someone else treated us. And so healing, just healing more

1039
01:13:55.920 --> 01:14:02.320
is a huge thing. But one of the things I will say, you might not love this answer. But

1040
01:14:02.320 --> 01:14:05.280
this is this is honestly what I thought of.

1041
01:14:08.160 --> 01:14:14.160
The times that I have felt that way about people, typically, when I pray for them,

1042
01:14:16.320 --> 01:14:21.360
it might not change the situation and the physical, but what happens is my heart starts to

1043
01:14:21.360 --> 01:14:29.120
change. And so the reality is, is that hurt people hurt people doesn't make it okay. Doesn't

1044
01:14:29.120 --> 01:14:33.920
mean you you have to be a part of her coming to know the Lord or any of that. Maybe that will

1045
01:14:33.920 --> 01:14:40.720
happen one day. I don't know. But like, it's not your responsibility. But I feel like the reason I

1046
01:14:40.720 --> 01:14:46.960
want to mention to you just to pray for her is because I do think it's going to change your heart

1047
01:14:47.600 --> 01:14:53.920
regarding her. And so I would encourage you to ask the Lord, even like,

1048
01:14:53.920 --> 01:14:59.840
Lord, what should I pray for her about? Because

1049
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:17.360
Here's the one thing I do know when I've done those things, when I'm, when I've not just allowed that spirit, because it's a spirit, it's a spirit working behind those people, um, where there's that similar, like you said, they'll talk to me like I'm stupid.

1050
01:15:17.360 --> 01:15:21.000
And as soon as you said that, I'm like, I wonder if this reminds her of her dad.

1051
01:15:21.080 --> 01:15:22.560
That's literally the thought I had.

1052
01:15:22.560 --> 01:15:31.680
Um, but it's a spirit, it's a spirit working behind those people, trying to get in there and trigger you and get those trauma points.

1053
01:15:32.160 --> 01:15:44.400
Um, but what I was going to say is when I have prayed for those people, what I have found is that the spirit of the enemy that's at work there loses power.

1054
01:15:46.200 --> 01:15:47.200
He loses power.

1055
01:15:48.200 --> 01:15:53.920
And so it will be gone for a while.

1056
01:15:53.920 --> 01:16:00.520
And then what will happen typically is it'll pop back up somewhere else later on if my heart's not healed yet in that area.

1057
01:16:00.920 --> 01:16:05.680
And so, um, for now, pray for her, see what God does there.

1058
01:16:06.080 --> 01:16:14.400
Um, you know, I think praying up and putting on your armor before you go to work is going to be really important too.

1059
01:16:14.680 --> 01:16:17.440
And I'm not saying all these things are just going to make that go away.

1060
01:16:17.480 --> 01:16:29.120
I'm just saying it will, I believe, help you respond and not react to her and not get tripped up, you know, by the tactics of the enemy.

1061
01:16:29.760 --> 01:16:40.240
Um, and when we, um, pray the Lord's prayer, you know, one of the things in the Lord's prayer is, um, you know, what does it say?

1062
01:16:40.240 --> 01:16:43.840
Um, you know, forgive our debtors, right?

1063
01:16:44.520 --> 01:16:45.320
Uh, shoot.

1064
01:16:45.320 --> 01:16:46.960
Gosh, I'm drawing a blank right now.

1065
01:16:46.960 --> 01:16:52.400
I want to say it, um, forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.

1066
01:16:53.280 --> 01:16:54.400
I think that's how it says it.

1067
01:16:54.720 --> 01:16:55.960
I had to really think about that.

1068
01:16:55.960 --> 01:16:56.960
I'm losing my brain power.

1069
01:16:56.960 --> 01:16:58.400
It's like nine 17 here.

1070
01:16:58.400 --> 01:17:06.360
You all it's getting late, but even me, like with my girl's dad, that's what it makes me think of.

1071
01:17:06.360 --> 01:17:07.800
Like he just used it.

1072
01:17:07.800 --> 01:17:16.320
Like once we were, we were at war, which was like five years of the six year dating, truly, probably even longer than that.

1073
01:17:16.920 --> 01:17:19.320
Um, just always triggered around him.

1074
01:17:19.320 --> 01:17:24.000
Like he would always do like the enemy would just always use them to push every button possible.

1075
01:17:24.520 --> 01:17:32.680
And I just found that like praying released all of the, the, the control.

1076
01:17:33.040 --> 01:17:43.200
And I just got more and more free and I started overcoming and then I was able to, um, really just kind of laugh at this stuff.

1077
01:17:43.240 --> 01:17:48.200
Honestly, not laughing him, not, you don't want to laugh in someone's face when they're acting like that.

1078
01:17:48.200 --> 01:17:53.840
But just like, I just kind of like, this is just like, Satan, this just doesn't work anymore.

1079
01:17:54.560 --> 01:18:01.760
I just remember literally getting like, to that point in my heart, like the last time he cheated on me and you all, I'm not kidding.

1080
01:18:02.320 --> 01:18:04.200
I was like, it is over.

1081
01:18:04.440 --> 01:18:05.840
I am done with this.

1082
01:18:05.880 --> 01:18:07.000
I'm done with you.

1083
01:18:07.080 --> 01:18:10.920
I, this, no, I like, I'm not doing this anymore.

1084
01:18:11.360 --> 01:18:16.520
And he started crying, sobbing like a baby, which is what he did every time.

1085
01:18:17.200 --> 01:18:23.880
And I just like kind of laughed and I was like, no, I was like, stop that right now.

1086
01:18:24.760 --> 01:18:29.200
I was like, I was like, I'm not changing my mind.

1087
01:18:29.240 --> 01:18:30.920
And that isn't going to work this time.

1088
01:18:31.080 --> 01:18:35.440
Like, I just like, I had hit this point where it no longer controlled me.

1089
01:18:35.880 --> 01:18:42.560
And I just was like, this is just a little baby double spirit trying to work through him.

1090
01:18:42.600 --> 01:18:45.640
And I'm, I'm just, this is silly.

1091
01:18:45.640 --> 01:18:46.640
I'm over this.

1092
01:18:47.280 --> 01:18:54.040
And it just like all of the control, all of the frustration, all of that stuff was just like gone.

1093
01:18:55.720 --> 01:18:57.800
And I had authority over that thing.

1094
01:18:59.000 --> 01:18:59.880
Does that make sense?

1095
01:19:00.560 --> 01:19:05.000
Yeah, but it, it took, took a long time now.

1096
01:19:05.000 --> 01:19:08.160
I hope that will work really speedy for you in this situation.

1097
01:19:08.800 --> 01:19:25.320
You know, I don't want y'all having to work five years at this stuff, but you know, I think every step that I took in the process, I just got stronger and stronger and I got more wisdom and I got more understanding of like my authority in Christ.

1098
01:19:26.040 --> 01:19:33.200
Even when people were just, I mean, that to me, she just, that's just the enemy trying to stir up trouble for no reason.

1099
01:19:33.760 --> 01:19:34.080
Right.

1100
01:19:35.640 --> 01:19:39.040
So pray before you go and pray for her.

1101
01:19:39.280 --> 01:19:41.480
Those are my two main things for tonight.

1102
01:19:41.560 --> 01:19:50.360
And if, you know, if I get more revelation on it, I'll try to share something else with y'all later, but those are two, I feel like really good ways.

1103
01:19:50.360 --> 01:19:56.200
We can pray for our enemies and those who spitefully use us, you know, or mistreat us in any way.

1104
01:19:56.760 --> 01:19:57.120
Yeah.

1105
01:19:58.760 --> 01:19:59.040
Okay.

1106
01:19:59.440 --> 01:19:59.880
Thank you for.

1107
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:01.480
Sharing, keep us posted.

1108
01:20:01.480 --> 01:20:03.800
And I love that you're getting into community

1109
01:20:03.800 --> 01:20:05.720
and you're really kind of intentionally working that.

1110
01:20:05.720 --> 01:20:06.620
That's awesome.

1111
01:20:07.640 --> 01:20:08.760
Yeah, it's so good to see you.

1112
01:20:08.760 --> 01:20:09.920
Tara, go ahead.

1113
01:20:12.280 --> 01:20:15.560
Yeah, I just wanna thank you for sharing what you did

1114
01:20:15.560 --> 01:20:17.880
earlier in the call about the six years

1115
01:20:17.880 --> 01:20:20.460
and fertile years and those kinds of things.

1116
01:20:21.520 --> 01:20:25.360
I started phase one in October of last year.

1117
01:20:26.720 --> 01:20:29.440
I am back to complete phase one.

1118
01:20:30.760 --> 01:20:32.120
I fell off the bandwagon.

1119
01:20:32.120 --> 01:20:35.360
No, there were some very serious life situations

1120
01:20:35.360 --> 01:20:38.640
that occurred that required me to devote,

1121
01:20:38.640 --> 01:20:40.440
divert attention to those things,

1122
01:20:40.440 --> 01:20:42.920
but I'm back with full focus.

1123
01:20:42.920 --> 01:20:47.920
And I found it very timely what you shared specifically

1124
01:20:48.280 --> 01:20:50.280
in my entry back in.

1125
01:20:51.880 --> 01:20:56.300
It's actually something that I've been reflecting on myself,

1126
01:20:56.300 --> 01:20:59.080
like over the last couple of months specifically.

1127
01:21:00.360 --> 01:21:04.320
I went through a broken engagement in 2013

1128
01:21:06.320 --> 01:21:10.580
and this person was a friend for 13 years,

1129
01:21:10.580 --> 01:21:15.260
a very avoidant attachment style in him.

1130
01:21:15.260 --> 01:21:20.260
And I waited 13 years for him to choose me.

1131
01:21:24.180 --> 01:21:28.520
I felt like he had, he proposed to me.

1132
01:21:30.360 --> 01:21:33.840
And then about six weeks later disappeared.

1133
01:21:35.360 --> 01:21:36.640
It was excruciating.

1134
01:21:36.640 --> 01:21:38.680
I was one of the people that grew up

1135
01:21:39.600 --> 01:21:42.320
in the I kiss dating goodbye kind of culture

1136
01:21:42.320 --> 01:21:44.360
and then you kiss marriage goodbye.

1137
01:21:44.360 --> 01:21:47.880
And so I felt like I had waited all this time

1138
01:21:48.760 --> 01:21:52.520
for this one guy thinking he was the one

1139
01:21:52.520 --> 01:21:55.120
and loved him dearly,

1140
01:21:55.120 --> 01:22:00.120
but then got just the shock of my life when he disappeared.

1141
01:22:01.200 --> 01:22:03.240
I felt like I'd lost my past, present

1142
01:22:03.240 --> 01:22:05.060
and future at the same time.

1143
01:22:06.760 --> 01:22:10.020
And I waited, I know ladies, it's embarrassing.

1144
01:22:10.020 --> 01:22:14.240
I waited two more years for him to come back.

1145
01:22:14.240 --> 01:22:16.760
So he got two more years.

1146
01:22:16.760 --> 01:22:21.760
And so one of the things that I've been processing recently,

1147
01:22:27.560 --> 01:22:32.560
I mean, obviously since 2013, I've obtained a lot of healing

1148
01:22:32.840 --> 01:22:37.840
I'm not the same person I was in 2013 or 20,

1149
01:22:38.880 --> 01:22:42.400
or I guess it was like 1999 when I met him.

1150
01:22:47.760 --> 01:22:52.760
I've always had a very intimate relationship with the Lord

1151
01:22:54.840 --> 01:22:59.260
and obedience is one of the ways that I've always,

1152
01:23:01.840 --> 01:23:04.720
one of my top ways of demonstrating my love for him.

1153
01:23:05.760 --> 01:23:07.720
Obedience at all costs.

1154
01:23:09.840 --> 01:23:14.840
And I can honestly tell y'all, I never felt God say no.

1155
01:23:15.840 --> 01:23:18.480
I never got warnings.

1156
01:23:20.120 --> 01:23:24.480
My community around me weren't saying,

1157
01:23:24.480 --> 01:23:26.160
with the exception of a few

1158
01:23:26.160 --> 01:23:29.040
that I'd actually didn't fully trust,

1159
01:23:29.040 --> 01:23:32.080
but the majority of my community,

1160
01:23:32.080 --> 01:23:37.080
nobody was saying anything to get me to,

1161
01:23:38.920 --> 01:23:42.200
all I'm gonna say, I wasn't rebelling against my community

1162
01:23:42.200 --> 01:23:44.520
or people around me.

1163
01:23:45.200 --> 01:23:48.680
I will say the community around me in the last 10 years

1164
01:23:48.680 --> 01:23:52.000
is way healthier than the community I drew to myself

1165
01:23:52.000 --> 01:23:56.080
in those times when I first met him and all of that.

1166
01:23:57.520 --> 01:24:02.520
So it's like, I recognize now that I had agency.

1167
01:24:06.440 --> 01:24:07.720
I didn't know I had.

1168
01:24:08.680 --> 01:24:09.520
Yeah.

1169
01:24:09.520 --> 01:24:14.520
And I'm dealing with sometimes the grief

1170
01:24:16.320 --> 01:24:21.320
in the reality that I chose to stay

1171
01:24:25.280 --> 01:24:30.280
and that it robbed me of the very things

1172
01:24:32.560 --> 01:24:37.560
that God put in my heart very early on in my life.

1173
01:24:38.720 --> 01:24:39.800
Yeah.

1174
01:24:39.800 --> 01:24:44.800
And I realized that I have some responsibility

1175
01:24:47.640 --> 01:24:50.360
for the delay or for,

1176
01:24:53.920 --> 01:24:55.800
while at the same time,

1177
01:24:58.720 --> 01:25:00.200
I just so wish

1178
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:17.800
that 2026 Tara and even 2015 Tara could have been in 1999 Tara because I think

1179
01:25:17.800 --> 01:25:23.600
my life would have looked completely different and so that's part of my

1180
01:25:23.600 --> 01:25:35.600
surrender is saying God I am NOT just a woman who is abandoned yes that's where

1181
01:25:35.600 --> 01:25:46.040
I was a victim to something but I have also I chose to stay in a friendship

1182
01:25:46.040 --> 01:25:55.240
always longing always hoping and but also knowing I never felt like I was

1183
01:25:55.240 --> 01:26:03.920
disobeying God I never felt like I didn't have community it's like I just

1184
01:26:03.920 --> 01:26:10.120
didn't know how broken I was that I thought that that was what I was worth I

1185
01:26:10.120 --> 01:26:16.560
didn't know better and so in this season in the last couple months of

1186
01:26:16.560 --> 01:26:25.040
just having some of this epiphany that I had agency and some responsibility in

1187
01:26:25.040 --> 01:26:36.360
this I cry out to God and just say I sure hope when you spoke to me about my

1188
01:26:36.360 --> 01:26:41.680
daughter and marriage and family when I was just a little girl and when I was in

1189
01:26:41.680 --> 01:26:57.280
seventh grade you made accommodations for my brokenness and my idiocy and

1190
01:26:57.280 --> 01:27:03.960
since 2013 I've been on two blind dates and that's it I didn't date pretty much

1191
01:27:03.960 --> 01:27:14.000
in my 30s and I turned 50 in December and so I feel like I had lots of

1192
01:27:14.000 --> 01:27:19.000
different cards stacked against me with the purity culture and I kissed dating

1193
01:27:19.000 --> 01:27:25.440
goodbye and all that and then I had this guy I was completely loyal to that did

1194
01:27:25.440 --> 01:27:34.920
not deserve my loyalty and God got me out of that loyalty yeah for a reason

1195
01:27:34.920 --> 01:27:44.320
and a purpose but I guess all that to say what would you tell someone like me

1196
01:27:48.040 --> 01:27:52.360
well first I'm gonna tell you something I heard the Lord say while you were

1197
01:27:52.400 --> 01:28:03.120
talking I heard him say that vindication will come and what I mean by that is

1198
01:28:03.120 --> 01:28:13.200
that hmm what was stolen is gonna be given back to you okay it doesn't always

1199
01:28:13.200 --> 01:28:20.920
come in the sense of years okay but God is I don't know if you heard Jackie

1200
01:28:20.920 --> 01:28:23.960
talking in on Saturday for the supernatural Saturday but one of the

1201
01:28:23.960 --> 01:28:27.760
things she was talking about sick it sure does feel like time is going faster

1202
01:28:27.760 --> 01:28:34.640
I agree with her it does feel but what's really interesting is that I also know

1203
01:28:34.640 --> 01:28:39.880
that there is like time is not the same to God and that he can go into our

1204
01:28:39.880 --> 01:28:46.360
timelines and heal stuff and you know bring restitution and reconciliation and

1205
01:28:46.360 --> 01:28:53.720
like all this all this re stuff that we were waiting you know 13 20 years for

1206
01:28:53.720 --> 01:29:02.240
right okay I'm gonna use your life yeah and it can turn into like in a moment I

1207
01:29:02.240 --> 01:29:06.800
know it might be hard to imagine it right now Tara but that there will come

1208
01:29:06.800 --> 01:29:13.840
a day where the pain that you feel now will no longer exist and you will be

1209
01:29:13.840 --> 01:29:19.080
experiencing the fullness of God's promises for you whoo thank you Lord

1210
01:29:19.080 --> 01:29:26.880
it will be like okay Lord I can feel you doing this thing in me and you're

1211
01:29:26.880 --> 01:29:32.480
redeeming all of those things and you know cuz I remember even like when I

1212
01:29:32.480 --> 01:29:37.360
met Brian like and just you know we've been married almost four years and we

1213
01:29:37.360 --> 01:29:41.600
dated for a year and so we've been together almost five years now and like

1214
01:29:41.600 --> 01:29:45.880
sometimes I look at like my memories that pop up on Facebook you guys all

1215
01:29:45.880 --> 01:29:52.160
have them right and you like I look at even just one popped up the one day it

1216
01:29:52.160 --> 01:29:55.800
didn't have a picture of their dad in it but just it was a reminder of something

1217
01:29:55.800 --> 01:30:02.120
it was this dog that it was actually the girl's dog but I loved him

1218
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:05.520
like mine and I had to leave him when I left that relationship and there were

1219
01:30:05.520 --> 01:30:09.320
all these little photos of him and it just kind of broke my heart when I saw

1220
01:30:09.320 --> 01:30:13.720
it the other day but just when I looked at the years of how long ago that was

1221
01:30:13.720 --> 01:30:19.440
but it feels literally I'm not kidding like a moment like it literally feels

1222
01:30:19.440 --> 01:30:26.840
like those years did not take that long I don't know how else to explain it

1223
01:30:26.840 --> 01:30:31.880
other than that and so I do believe that God will do that in you he did it

1224
01:30:31.880 --> 01:30:38.520
in me and I was married for 12 years before I was in another relationship for

1225
01:30:38.520 --> 01:30:41.360
almost two years and then the relationship with their dad for six

1226
01:30:41.360 --> 01:30:46.280
years so I definitely I definitely had some years that I felt were wasted too

1227
01:30:46.280 --> 01:30:52.640
but I just want you to know like I love my life now am I saying everything is

1228
01:30:52.640 --> 01:30:59.880
perfect all the time and easy no because people exist we exist and the

1229
01:30:59.880 --> 01:31:04.920
world and the enemy is you know he's busy but praise God God is is doing way

1230
01:31:04.920 --> 01:31:11.240
more than the devil is doing and so I just want you to know like I like I

1231
01:31:11.240 --> 01:31:17.920
truly have been living the best years of my life the last five years and it it

1232
01:31:17.920 --> 01:31:26.680
truly feels like my former life like wasn't even my life like I know that

1233
01:31:26.680 --> 01:31:32.200
those things all happened but it's like God picked me up it's almost if you

1234
01:31:32.200 --> 01:31:36.560
think of a train track and there's a track here and this is where I was on

1235
01:31:36.560 --> 01:31:40.560
but like it's almost like God picked me up and he put me on a new set of tracks

1236
01:31:40.560 --> 01:31:46.840
and he's helping me create my life on that new set of tracks and that life

1237
01:31:46.840 --> 01:31:54.720
includes Brian and our family and our destiny and the pain that I thought was

1238
01:31:54.720 --> 01:32:02.280
never gonna leave like I just literally I can't like I am still kind of like how

1239
01:32:02.280 --> 01:32:06.640
you said sometimes I am kind of like oh I'm embarrassed it took me that long but

1240
01:32:06.640 --> 01:32:11.480
I don't feel the pain and that where I felt pain in the embarrassment before

1241
01:32:11.480 --> 01:32:15.160
and I wouldn't even say I feel embarrassed really because the reality

1242
01:32:15.160 --> 01:32:19.520
is is I mean I didn't know what I didn't know either and I was doing the

1243
01:32:19.520 --> 01:32:24.760
best that I could and so the the last thing I want to say to you Tara for

1244
01:32:24.760 --> 01:32:28.000
tonight because there's I honestly I would love to unpack this more with you

1245
01:32:28.000 --> 01:32:32.440
in the group if you'll just create a post and and kind of you don't have to

1246
01:32:32.440 --> 01:32:35.240
share the whole thing you share tonight but I would like to just work with you a

1247
01:32:35.240 --> 01:32:39.600
little bit more on this than I have time for tonight but the other thing that

1248
01:32:39.600 --> 01:32:45.840
comes to me is that I really want to encourage you to forgive yourself and

1249
01:32:45.840 --> 01:32:55.840
just really extend grace to yourself because you know what you deserve it you

1250
01:32:55.840 --> 01:33:00.640
deserve it because God says you're worthy of it not because of you did

1251
01:33:00.640 --> 01:33:05.840
something right or did something wrong but just God loves you so much and he

1252
01:33:05.840 --> 01:33:11.520
doesn't want you to feel this deep shame and regret and all the things and

1253
01:33:11.520 --> 01:33:16.320
he wants you to know it is gonna be okay and like what I started with vindication

1254
01:33:16.320 --> 01:33:21.840
I just want you to remember that vindication is gonna come it will come

1255
01:33:21.840 --> 01:33:28.400
that's what he said so that means he's gonna make the devil not just pay you

1256
01:33:28.400 --> 01:33:33.760
back but he's gonna make him pay you back and then some Job everything that

1257
01:33:33.760 --> 01:33:42.120
he lost he didn't just get that back he got double double so I don't know what

1258
01:33:42.120 --> 01:33:47.560
that means for your life I don't know how the babies are gonna come but I

1259
01:33:47.560 --> 01:33:53.080
trust that our God is good and he knows what you need and what's gonna bless you

1260
01:33:53.080 --> 01:34:01.600
and make all things right that makes sense it does it provides a hope and

1261
01:34:01.600 --> 01:34:06.960
there's certainly a part of me that believes those things but I think

1262
01:34:06.960 --> 01:34:14.640
there's also that duality where I also carry that shame and that guilt of not

1263
01:34:14.640 --> 01:34:20.720
knowing enough not I'd like to talk through when you do the post in the

1264
01:34:20.720 --> 01:34:24.680
group for me I'd like to talk through the obedience factor a little bit with

1265
01:34:24.680 --> 01:34:31.360
you okay because even myself like I shared briefly earlier and again I don't

1266
01:34:31.360 --> 01:34:36.120
want to go into too far tonight but I really did think that God brought him to

1267
01:34:36.120 --> 01:34:47.040
me girls dad I really did and so for a while I was like well wait a minute God

1268
01:34:47.040 --> 01:34:52.800
I thought I was hearing you right I did oh if I wasn't hearing you well then do

1269
01:34:52.800 --> 01:34:56.680
I hear from you like I started questioning all of that stuff and so I

1270
01:34:56.680 --> 01:35:01.800
think that you and I kind of chatting through that obedience factor

1271
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:03.080
a little bit more will be a really good thing.

1272
01:35:03.080 --> 01:35:04.960
When you say the group, what do you mean?

1273
01:35:04.960 --> 01:35:09.400
So yeah, if you go into the last year single app

1274
01:35:09.400 --> 01:35:13.040
in the heartwork, if you click on the community tab

1275
01:35:13.040 --> 01:35:14.920
and just create a post in there,

1276
01:35:16.160 --> 01:35:17.000
make sure that-

1277
01:35:17.000 --> 01:35:19.360
And just say, Bethany, this is what we-

1278
01:35:19.360 --> 01:35:20.560
Yeah, just tag me in it.

1279
01:35:20.560 --> 01:35:22.960
And if I, the ladies, my team knows now,

1280
01:35:22.960 --> 01:35:24.560
if they see my name on something,

1281
01:35:24.560 --> 01:35:26.400
they just let me know if I don't see it

1282
01:35:26.400 --> 01:35:29.240
and haven't responded yet, they're kind of helping me

1283
01:35:29.280 --> 01:35:31.080
just because I do work in all of our groups.

1284
01:35:31.080 --> 01:35:33.080
And so my team has my back

1285
01:35:33.080 --> 01:35:35.520
and is trying to help me make sure I don't miss anything.

1286
01:35:35.520 --> 01:35:38.360
And so if you just do a post,

1287
01:35:38.360 --> 01:35:41.360
you can just say, Bethany,

1288
01:35:41.360 --> 01:35:43.920
responding to what you asked me to post about.

1289
01:35:43.920 --> 01:35:46.520
And they'll, I probably will see it too,

1290
01:35:46.520 --> 01:35:48.480
but if not, they'll make sure I see it.

1291
01:35:49.680 --> 01:35:51.040
Okay.

1292
01:35:51.040 --> 01:35:52.240
All right, looking forward to it.

1293
01:35:52.240 --> 01:35:54.480
Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable

1294
01:35:54.480 --> 01:35:56.880
and letting us be here with you tonight in that.

1295
01:35:56.880 --> 01:35:58.320
So proud of you for that.

1296
01:35:58.360 --> 01:36:00.360
Yeah, you're welcome.

1297
01:36:00.360 --> 01:36:01.480
Trina, go ahead.

1298
01:36:03.720 --> 01:36:05.080
Oh my goodness, Tara.

1299
01:36:05.080 --> 01:36:07.400
I'm like completely.

1300
01:36:09.320 --> 01:36:12.000
Yeah, I went through a breakup a month ago

1301
01:36:12.000 --> 01:36:15.880
and I just feel like I've just been ruminating

1302
01:36:15.880 --> 01:36:19.880
for like every day and it's disgusting.

1303
01:36:19.880 --> 01:36:21.480
And I'm like, Lord, but I trust you.

1304
01:36:21.480 --> 01:36:23.040
And I put it on the Jesus Cares board,

1305
01:36:23.040 --> 01:36:25.720
but I still like want to fix it myself

1306
01:36:25.760 --> 01:36:28.480
and just throw myself into the heart work

1307
01:36:28.480 --> 01:36:29.920
and throw myself into this work

1308
01:36:29.920 --> 01:36:31.400
and throw myself into Bible study.

1309
01:36:31.400 --> 01:36:32.480
And maybe I'll hear you then.

1310
01:36:32.480 --> 01:36:33.800
But I was thinking in the group,

1311
01:36:33.800 --> 01:36:38.280
like I don't even leave time to hear God

1312
01:36:38.280 --> 01:36:40.120
because I'm trying to fill it

1313
01:36:41.200 --> 01:36:43.880
because I'm so scared of the silence.

1314
01:36:43.880 --> 01:36:47.880
And also I'll piggyback both of you saying

1315
01:36:48.840 --> 01:36:52.600
I felt like I heard God say, stay.

1316
01:36:52.600 --> 01:36:55.840
And so I'm confused by that and thrown by that.

1317
01:36:55.840 --> 01:36:59.160
And I'm like, Lord, I'm gonna let you figure this out,

1318
01:36:59.160 --> 01:37:01.160
but I'm not letting you figure this out.

1319
01:37:01.160 --> 01:37:05.520
So I don't wanna do it anymore.

1320
01:37:05.520 --> 01:37:10.520
And at some point you gotta step out and find out, right?

1321
01:37:12.080 --> 01:37:17.080
But meaning you could wait forever to say,

1322
01:37:17.480 --> 01:37:20.240
oh, that was from the Lord and now it's time to move on.

1323
01:37:20.240 --> 01:37:21.600
And he's telling me that,

1324
01:37:21.600 --> 01:37:26.600
but also sometimes I feel like you have to play your part.

1325
01:37:27.240 --> 01:37:29.560
So I'm just, that's,

1326
01:37:30.840 --> 01:37:33.160
it's the divide of what do I have to do?

1327
01:37:33.160 --> 01:37:34.440
What does he have to do?

1328
01:37:35.600 --> 01:37:38.360
Yes, I will tell you,

1329
01:37:38.360 --> 01:37:41.160
not to confuse all the things I've already shared,

1330
01:37:41.160 --> 01:37:43.680
but in that process for me,

1331
01:37:44.600 --> 01:37:47.920
I genuinely did hear God ask me to stay,

1332
01:37:47.920 --> 01:37:52.000
but I really resonated with Hosea

1333
01:37:52.000 --> 01:37:55.040
and I really struggled with,

1334
01:37:55.040 --> 01:37:57.320
God, why would you ask me to stay in that?

1335
01:37:57.320 --> 01:38:00.040
Now, knowing what I know

1336
01:38:00.040 --> 01:38:02.400
after having gone through the heart work

1337
01:38:02.400 --> 01:38:04.960
and having gone through this process,

1338
01:38:07.120 --> 01:38:09.280
I wonder if I would hear God the same,

1339
01:38:10.160 --> 01:38:13.480
you know, now, like I did back then.

1340
01:38:13.480 --> 01:38:16.360
But one thing I do know is that

1341
01:38:17.360 --> 01:38:22.360
I really do think that the way that I handle things,

1342
01:38:22.800 --> 01:38:25.120
even on the exit of that relationship,

1343
01:38:25.120 --> 01:38:27.920
and even when he tried to manipulate things with the girls,

1344
01:38:27.920 --> 01:38:31.080
like I've always been in their life since I started dating.

1345
01:38:31.080 --> 01:38:33.960
I'm like, I'm still active in their life now.

1346
01:38:33.960 --> 01:38:36.080
They were in our wedding

1347
01:38:36.080 --> 01:38:37.840
and he would always try to manipulate things.

1348
01:38:37.840 --> 01:38:40.480
And I just would rise above, rise above, rise above.

1349
01:38:40.480 --> 01:38:44.000
And I just feel like I may not know fully

1350
01:38:44.880 --> 01:38:49.880
how God is using all of that until I get to heaven, okay?

1351
01:38:52.200 --> 01:38:57.200
But I do think that I have always had a tendency

1352
01:38:57.960 --> 01:39:02.960
to stay too, like in the past, stay too long, okay?

1353
01:39:03.440 --> 01:39:06.080
Try to love them until they get better.

1354
01:39:06.080 --> 01:39:08.800
But here's the thing on the front end.

1355
01:39:09.800 --> 01:39:12.880
I would pick people that needed help,

1356
01:39:12.880 --> 01:39:14.240
that were what I, like,

1357
01:39:14.240 --> 01:39:15.800
and I don't mean this in a condescending way,

1358
01:39:15.800 --> 01:39:17.080
but were broken.

1359
01:39:18.200 --> 01:39:22.560
And because I was broken, it like, I felt needed

1360
01:39:22.560 --> 01:39:25.280
and like I could help fix them.

1361
01:39:25.280 --> 01:39:28.720
But I didn't know that that's part of why I was picking them

1362
01:39:28.720 --> 01:39:30.480
and I didn't know that they were picking me

1363
01:39:30.480 --> 01:39:34.000
a lot of times to hide behind my good nature

1364
01:39:34.000 --> 01:39:35.880
and my relationship with the Lord.

1365
01:39:35.880 --> 01:39:38.680
Like I was a good front for them

1366
01:39:38.680 --> 01:39:41.800
because they could pretend and live this double life

1367
01:39:41.800 --> 01:39:44.760
and be somebody entirely different behind the scenes

1368
01:39:48.400 --> 01:39:49.880
than who they really were

1369
01:39:49.880 --> 01:39:52.040
and they could hide behind who I was.

1370
01:39:52.920 --> 01:39:55.680
And so there was a lot of like narcissistic tendencies

1371
01:39:55.680 --> 01:39:58.680
and sociopathic stuff going on in those relationships.

1372
01:39:58.680 --> 01:39:59.520
But

1373
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:10.020
Again, all that to say, I do think I heard from the Lord, but I also know now and see

1374
01:40:10.020 --> 01:40:16.760
when I look backwards, there were times where there were flags that were red and I was not

1375
01:40:16.760 --> 01:40:18.880
listening to them.

1376
01:40:18.880 --> 01:40:23.800
But because I didn't listen to them, God was trying to meet me in the middle of that and

1377
01:40:23.800 --> 01:40:26.400
give me hope and encourage me.

1378
01:40:26.400 --> 01:40:30.600
And I think that's why I felt called to be Hosea.

1379
01:40:30.600 --> 01:40:36.600
I think it's because God was trying to give me the hope in the middle of it until, because

1380
01:40:36.600 --> 01:40:45.040
I remember one day God showed me the reality is that Hosea even felt led to let go and

1381
01:40:45.040 --> 01:40:47.120
go walk the other way.

1382
01:40:47.120 --> 01:40:51.960
And I remember when God gave me that revelation, I was like, Oh, well, God, when is it okay

1383
01:40:51.960 --> 01:40:53.320
to go?

1384
01:40:53.320 --> 01:41:03.160
And then I started praying like that and then it wasn't long before it was time to let go.

1385
01:41:03.160 --> 01:41:08.360
So again, I think what was informing me were the thoughts of like growing up in an abusive

1386
01:41:08.360 --> 01:41:09.360
home.

1387
01:41:09.360 --> 01:41:13.440
My dad was an alcoholic and drug addict, you know, a lot of sexual abuse, like just a lot

1388
01:41:13.440 --> 01:41:22.320
of things that taught me, um, things that caused me to believe that it was my responsibility

1389
01:41:22.320 --> 01:41:24.120
to help people heal.

1390
01:41:24.120 --> 01:41:27.720
Does that make sense?

1391
01:41:27.720 --> 01:41:30.480
And help them become the person that God called them to be.

1392
01:41:30.480 --> 01:41:35.640
And it was my responsibility versus I'm a vessel that God can work through when he wants

1393
01:41:35.640 --> 01:41:38.840
to, but it's not my job to fix that person.

1394
01:41:38.840 --> 01:41:41.960
It's not my job to bring them closer to the Lord.

1395
01:41:41.960 --> 01:41:43.720
That's their job.

1396
01:41:43.720 --> 01:41:46.080
That's the Lord's job in them.

1397
01:41:46.080 --> 01:41:51.360
Now I can be a vessel and even be here to bless your all's lives, but your journey and

1398
01:41:51.360 --> 01:41:56.800
your choices and your path, that's up to you all to see back in the day, I would feel

1399
01:41:56.800 --> 01:42:01.800
so much responsibility for people.

1400
01:42:01.800 --> 01:42:05.360
And so I don't know if that's helpful, but I, in the busy, busy, busy too, I think it's

1401
01:42:05.360 --> 01:42:07.220
important to address that.

1402
01:42:07.220 --> 01:42:09.880
I'm going to encourage you.

1403
01:42:09.880 --> 01:42:15.520
I haven't given this assignment out for a while, so I hope you're ready.

1404
01:42:15.520 --> 01:42:20.840
I don't even know if you're a TV watcher like me, but I'm going to encourage you to

1405
01:42:20.840 --> 01:42:25.560
intentionally create silence.

1406
01:42:25.560 --> 01:42:37.280
So watch less TV, scroll less on social media, literally create white space in your calendar.

1407
01:42:37.280 --> 01:42:41.720
And it's going to feel probably painful at first when you first start doing it.

1408
01:42:41.720 --> 01:42:45.840
But what will happen as you intentionally invest in this, it's going to create this

1409
01:42:45.840 --> 01:42:54.480
ability potentially for you to feel things you haven't felt in a long time.

1410
01:42:54.480 --> 01:42:59.080
And that might feel scary even when that happens, but just keep talking to us in the group through

1411
01:42:59.080 --> 01:43:00.080
it.

1412
01:43:00.080 --> 01:43:02.120
We're going to be here to coach you through it.

1413
01:43:02.120 --> 01:43:06.720
And I had the last lady, I promise this is the hope side of this.

1414
01:43:06.720 --> 01:43:13.680
This is the good side of, of if you choose to accept this challenge, the last person

1415
01:43:13.680 --> 01:43:18.160
I gave this assignment to, she went for it.

1416
01:43:18.160 --> 01:43:19.160
She went for it.

1417
01:43:19.160 --> 01:43:24.720
And it was like during a really like busy, fun, you know, like holiday, like all the

1418
01:43:24.720 --> 01:43:30.880
fun, really cool stuffs on TV, like the, like the little like romantic things and all that.

1419
01:43:30.880 --> 01:43:31.960
Those are things I think are cool.

1420
01:43:31.960 --> 01:43:35.240
I like all different kinds of movies, but just, it was like a thing that she really

1421
01:43:35.240 --> 01:43:37.480
knew she had to sacrifice it.

1422
01:43:37.480 --> 01:43:39.200
That makes sense.

1423
01:43:39.200 --> 01:43:44.080
You all, she literally moved her TV out of her bedroom, like she just followed the Lord

1424
01:43:44.080 --> 01:43:45.080
in it.

1425
01:43:45.080 --> 01:43:46.240
It wasn't me telling her to do all that.

1426
01:43:46.240 --> 01:43:49.520
I just said, Hey, consider this, you know, pray into this.

1427
01:43:49.520 --> 01:43:54.720
I would encourage you to like, really like pull back on how much noise is in your life.

1428
01:43:54.720 --> 01:43:57.600
She felt led to move her TV out of her bedroom.

1429
01:43:57.600 --> 01:44:03.720
She literally for three months went all in.

1430
01:44:03.760 --> 01:44:08.240
I'm telling you what, she heard the Lord, like she hadn't heard him in a long time.

1431
01:44:08.240 --> 01:44:14.680
She got delivered from stuff like pretty radically, um, and had a lot of fun doing it.

1432
01:44:14.680 --> 01:44:18.760
She did not feel a bunch of pain after that, like that first, like week, it was hard for

1433
01:44:18.760 --> 01:44:25.060
her for her the first week, but she really started feeling and embracing what was happening

1434
01:44:25.060 --> 01:44:26.440
in her in that process.

1435
01:44:26.440 --> 01:44:30.840
So I don't know how it will turn out for you if you accept that challenge, but I just feel

1436
01:44:30.840 --> 01:44:37.880
like even if, okay, if it feels too big, how many things I said, just pick one.

1437
01:44:37.880 --> 01:44:47.720
Honestly, I don't watch TV and for me, it's the endlessly trying to find the answer and

1438
01:44:47.720 --> 01:44:53.560
putting myself in all of this work and the Bible studies and you know, another method

1439
01:44:53.560 --> 01:44:54.560
and therapy.

1440
01:44:54.560 --> 01:44:58.520
And it's like, put on all the help work that you possibly can.

1441
01:44:58.520 --> 01:45:00.080
So you fix it immediately.

1442
01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:03.480
So how did you do that?

1443
01:45:03.480 --> 01:45:06.720
Alright, so can you quit the Bible study?

1444
01:45:06.720 --> 01:45:08.600
I could.

1445
01:45:08.600 --> 01:45:09.600
Okay.

1446
01:45:09.600 --> 01:45:15.800
I would encourage you to make this group the only thing that you do.

1447
01:45:15.800 --> 01:45:19.200
Now don't remove yourself from counseling necessarily if there's someone you're working

1448
01:45:19.200 --> 01:45:24.640
with consistently, but we have asked people to really consider doing that where you all

1449
01:45:24.640 --> 01:45:29.980
aren't trying to read other books during this time that you really hone in on just the core

1450
01:45:29.980 --> 01:45:34.020
coursework in the book and journaling and reading your Bible.

1451
01:45:34.020 --> 01:45:39.840
Like just you and Jesus, but not even letting that be like a religious, like I have to pray

1452
01:45:39.840 --> 01:45:43.460
and not that you're like this, but pray and read a large amount of time.

1453
01:45:43.460 --> 01:45:44.460
Okay.

1454
01:45:44.460 --> 01:45:51.320
But, um, you know, letting your friends just know like, Hey, I'm realizing that I tend

1455
01:45:51.320 --> 01:45:56.560
to fill myself with a lot of trying to find the answers, including Bible study.

1456
01:45:56.560 --> 01:46:01.120
And I just really need to pull back just for this, you know, whether it's, you know,

1457
01:46:01.120 --> 01:46:05.200
for you five weeks or a little bit longer, whatever your process will look like, but

1458
01:46:05.200 --> 01:46:14.240
just where you really just let yourself just be in this place right here and give yourself

1459
01:46:14.240 --> 01:46:15.760
permission to do it.

1460
01:46:15.760 --> 01:46:21.360
And if you feel the tendency to go look for more answers, you can come in the group and

1461
01:46:21.360 --> 01:46:25.420
say, Hey, I'm feeling like I'm struggling.

1462
01:46:25.420 --> 01:46:27.700
I'm wanting to figure it all out.

1463
01:46:27.700 --> 01:46:29.380
I'm wanting to connect to the dots faster.

1464
01:46:29.380 --> 01:46:33.220
So I'm feeling led to search this or search, like, just come in and be accountable to us

1465
01:46:33.220 --> 01:46:42.440
and, and like, let us remind you like, Hey, remember, God's got you like he has the answers.

1466
01:46:42.440 --> 01:46:46.420
He has the answers that you need.

1467
01:46:46.420 --> 01:46:47.420
And I can relate to you.

1468
01:46:47.420 --> 01:46:48.420
It's interesting.

1469
01:46:48.420 --> 01:46:53.580
You, you would not know this, but I went to my chiropractor today and she asked me a very

1470
01:46:53.580 --> 01:46:57.380
similar question about some health things I was sharing with her.

1471
01:46:57.380 --> 01:47:02.980
Cause for a year now, I've been trying to find the answer to this physical stuff I've

1472
01:47:02.980 --> 01:47:03.980
been going through.

1473
01:47:03.980 --> 01:47:06.420
Cause I'm like, what is going on?

1474
01:47:06.420 --> 01:47:09.360
And I've been trying all different kinds of things and looking for all.

1475
01:47:09.360 --> 01:47:15.340
And she said, maybe that's part of the problem now, you know?

1476
01:47:15.340 --> 01:47:21.660
So I think let's practice making some white space in your, in your mind.

1477
01:47:21.660 --> 01:47:25.060
And then like, in your heart.

1478
01:47:25.060 --> 01:47:26.060
Thank you.

1479
01:47:26.060 --> 01:47:27.060
TV isn't a struggle.

1480
01:47:27.060 --> 01:47:28.060
Yeah.

1481
01:47:28.060 --> 01:47:33.740
And let us know again, you know, I, again, I, I will put these things out there for you

1482
01:47:33.740 --> 01:47:34.740
all.

1483
01:47:34.740 --> 01:47:35.740
It's up to you.

1484
01:47:35.740 --> 01:47:42.060
I'm not saying you have to do it or that like, Hey, 100% God is saying this.

1485
01:47:42.060 --> 01:47:47.820
I'm saying to you, Hey, pray about this, consider doing this, and then you got to make the decision

1486
01:47:47.820 --> 01:47:48.820
from there.

1487
01:47:49.140 --> 01:47:54.580
And again, this is about you trusting the Lord and yourself and growing in that as you

1488
01:47:54.580 --> 01:47:55.580
go.

1489
01:47:55.580 --> 01:47:56.580
Okay.

1490
01:47:56.580 --> 01:48:00.900
And so if you decide to stay in that group, please don't feel bad saying so, you know,

1491
01:48:00.900 --> 01:48:05.660
you got to figure that stuff out for yourself, but let us know how it goes.

1492
01:48:05.660 --> 01:48:06.660
Thank you.

1493
01:48:06.660 --> 01:48:07.660
You're welcome.

1494
01:48:07.660 --> 01:48:08.660
Awesome.

1495
01:48:08.660 --> 01:48:10.580
I do want to say to anyone, it's 9 48.

1496
01:48:10.580 --> 01:48:15.300
So I'm going to let Lisa and Alina go tonight because they've been waiting really patiently.

1497
01:48:15.300 --> 01:48:18.380
And I don't want to not have them have an opportunity.

1498
01:48:18.940 --> 01:48:20.940
But if you need to log off, we totally understand.

1499
01:48:20.940 --> 01:48:22.940
All right, Lisa, go ahead.

1500
01:48:22.940 --> 01:48:23.940
Okay.

1501
01:48:23.940 --> 01:48:25.940
Well, mine is super quick.

1502
01:48:25.940 --> 01:48:31.260
I decided to take you up on your offer of like, even if it's a quick share to join in

1503
01:48:31.260 --> 01:48:32.820
to pipe up.

1504
01:48:32.820 --> 01:48:36.980
So, or pipe in, however that said, yeah.

1505
01:48:36.980 --> 01:48:41.580
So it was interesting when we went into the breakout session, the first thing that came

1506
01:48:41.580 --> 01:48:46.820
to my mind just even before going, like it just, I was like, God, what do I need to surrender?

1507
01:48:46.820 --> 01:48:54.820
Like, what do you, you know, I forgot the word he used, but anyway and it was finances.

1508
01:48:54.820 --> 01:48:59.700
And I was like, oh, this makes so much sense because I've been trying to take that into

1509
01:48:59.700 --> 01:49:02.700
control like my whole life, you know?

1510
01:49:02.700 --> 01:49:07.900
And so what was interesting is right before getting on the call tonight, I had driven

1511
01:49:07.900 --> 01:49:13.220
to this cafe a couple minutes from my house to prepare for an interview, even though I

1512
01:49:13.220 --> 01:49:16.180
don't have an interview coming yet, you know, that I know of.

1513
01:49:16.540 --> 01:49:17.700
I just want to be ready.

1514
01:49:17.700 --> 01:49:21.820
And it's something that I can tell I've been going through this like procrastination because

1515
01:49:21.820 --> 01:49:22.820
I'm scared.

1516
01:49:22.820 --> 01:49:25.620
It's, I'm totally scared.

1517
01:49:25.620 --> 01:49:27.380
And so, and I live alone.

1518
01:49:27.380 --> 01:49:31.980
And so sometimes if I'm just in my house for too long, like I'll just do all these other

1519
01:49:31.980 --> 01:49:36.500
things, you know, clean the house, whatever.

1520
01:49:36.500 --> 01:49:38.220
And so I was like, okay, I'm getting to that cafe.

1521
01:49:38.220 --> 01:49:41.500
I don't care if they close in 45 minutes, I'm going to sit down and, you know, prep

1522
01:49:41.500 --> 01:49:42.880
my questions.

1523
01:49:42.880 --> 01:49:48.880
And so what was interesting was when I came home to be on the call is I actually felt

1524
01:49:48.880 --> 01:49:53.720
really encouraged with my answers and I felt a lot more prepared.

1525
01:49:53.720 --> 01:49:59.840
And when I got in my car, I literally started singing some random tune and all I get all.

1526
01:50:00.000 --> 01:50:03.440
It was my own song and I just kept saying, the money is coming.

1527
01:50:03.440 --> 01:50:04.440
The money is coming.

1528
01:50:04.440 --> 01:50:07.320
The money is coming all the way.

1529
01:50:07.320 --> 01:50:11.080
It's only two minutes, but I didn't stop and I was just like, cause I felt my spirit.

1530
01:50:11.080 --> 01:50:13.320
I was like, it's coming, Lisa.

1531
01:50:13.320 --> 01:50:15.120
It's coming.

1532
01:50:15.120 --> 01:50:16.120
It's coming.

1533
01:50:16.120 --> 01:50:17.120
Yeah.

1534
01:50:17.120 --> 01:50:18.120
You know?

1535
01:50:18.120 --> 01:50:19.120
So that was like a big shift.

1536
01:50:19.120 --> 01:50:23.160
So, but it's interesting because then I got on the call and then the Lord's saying surrender

1537
01:50:23.160 --> 01:50:24.160
about the finances.

1538
01:50:24.160 --> 01:50:25.160
You know what I mean?

1539
01:50:25.160 --> 01:50:29.000
So it's kind of like this, uh, you know, it was probably a moment.

1540
01:50:29.000 --> 01:50:30.120
I don't want to call it that.

1541
01:50:30.120 --> 01:50:33.680
No, I'm claiming this is how I'm going to think in the future is just like, it's coming

1542
01:50:33.680 --> 01:50:34.680
melody.

1543
01:50:34.680 --> 01:50:37.320
I think a divine melody coming up in your spirit.

1544
01:50:37.320 --> 01:50:41.720
I really do think that I was literally at my sermon that I'm going to preach in August

1545
01:50:41.720 --> 01:50:42.720
is on worship.

1546
01:50:42.720 --> 01:50:48.200
And one of the things that I'm going to ask people to consider is what is the melody of

1547
01:50:48.200 --> 01:50:49.200
their life?

1548
01:50:49.200 --> 01:50:52.560
What is the song that their life is singing right now?

1549
01:50:52.560 --> 01:50:57.000
And uh, like kind of connecting that with several scriptures about worship and just

1550
01:50:57.000 --> 01:50:58.000
all this stuff.

1551
01:50:58.000 --> 01:51:01.840
Because when you said, I don't think it's a coincidence that you said, I just started

1552
01:51:01.840 --> 01:51:04.240
singing this thing over and over.

1553
01:51:04.240 --> 01:51:10.440
And so I don't want you to think that because God is asking you to surrender finances, that

1554
01:51:10.440 --> 01:51:14.440
that makes that moment null and void.

1555
01:51:14.440 --> 01:51:17.960
Because I think there was something special happening there for you.

1556
01:51:17.960 --> 01:51:23.880
And just even seeing you talk about it, like there's a joy on you and in you just hearing

1557
01:51:23.880 --> 01:51:24.880
you.

1558
01:51:24.880 --> 01:51:32.160
Um, and that tap it, keeping, keep tapping into that because I think that's going to

1559
01:51:32.160 --> 01:51:35.200
be where the Lord's going to help you kind of in that surrender.

1560
01:51:35.200 --> 01:51:37.000
Like worship is surrender.

1561
01:51:37.000 --> 01:51:42.600
If you think about it, um, and so keep us posted.

1562
01:51:42.600 --> 01:51:47.800
I think this is definitely the most positive, like you're always positive, but I think this,

1563
01:51:47.800 --> 01:51:52.720
this feels like you're gaining freedom and traction in your share tonight, like what

1564
01:51:52.720 --> 01:51:53.720
you've shared.

1565
01:51:54.560 --> 01:51:57.680
I look forward to hearing what God is going to do in the days ahead in that.

1566
01:51:57.680 --> 01:52:02.000
Yeah, I'll definitely be sharing and I'm going to start posting more just so you know, I've

1567
01:52:02.000 --> 01:52:03.600
really been out of the loop for like two months.

1568
01:52:03.600 --> 01:52:07.840
It seems like I've just got, yeah, but I, it's on my radar, so I will be playing catch

1569
01:52:07.840 --> 01:52:08.840
up here.

1570
01:52:08.840 --> 01:52:09.840
Okay.

1571
01:52:09.840 --> 01:52:10.840
I look forward to it.

1572
01:52:10.840 --> 01:52:12.800
I know the other team members will too.

1573
01:52:12.800 --> 01:52:14.400
Thank you so much for sharing.

1574
01:52:14.400 --> 01:52:15.400
Yeah.

1575
01:52:15.400 --> 01:52:16.400
Thank you.

1576
01:52:16.400 --> 01:52:17.400
Alina, go ahead.

1577
01:52:17.400 --> 01:52:18.400
Hello.

1578
01:52:18.400 --> 01:52:19.400
Hello.

1579
01:52:19.400 --> 01:52:20.400
Hi.

1580
01:52:20.400 --> 01:52:31.640
Um, I am recovering from head congestion, so I may sound a little groggy and, um, well,

1581
01:52:31.640 --> 01:52:38.200
I think, um, it's been a blessing to hear everyone's process cause I was gathering a

1582
01:52:38.200 --> 01:52:45.040
little bit from each one, um, reminding myself things I need to trust the Lord with or different

1583
01:52:45.040 --> 01:52:50.240
things, but I'm in this place where I let go of a relationship over and over and over

1584
01:52:50.240 --> 01:52:58.840
and over, um, throughout my whole thirties and I'm 40 this year and, uh, it's really

1585
01:52:58.840 --> 01:53:07.120
been heavy for me to be 40 and single and wasting my years, but anyways, I'm trying

1586
01:53:07.120 --> 01:53:15.720
to start over and I felt like God gave me an idea to do some ladies pampering health

1587
01:53:15.720 --> 01:53:26.480
and wellness workshops and I'm just not being able to jump into it fully excited cause I'm

1588
01:53:26.480 --> 01:53:30.160
still crying over the past.

1589
01:53:30.160 --> 01:53:38.920
Um, and I just moved into a nice new place, but I'm just dragging along and I'm just like,

1590
01:53:38.920 --> 01:53:44.680
what if I missed it and what if I'm not going to have kids and what if it's just, and I'm

1591
01:53:44.680 --> 01:53:50.920
trying to get myself excited about new possibilities and new things, but I'm just kind of like

1592
01:53:50.920 --> 01:53:58.960
in that between like letting the old go, seeing a new thing, trying to move forward with a

1593
01:53:58.960 --> 01:54:01.680
new thing.

1594
01:54:01.680 --> 01:54:08.920
I've had some quiet time where things were coming up, especially missing my ex and what

1595
01:54:08.920 --> 01:54:17.680
if I missed it and one and just try to just hop over that and feel like I overcame a lot

1596
01:54:17.680 --> 01:54:23.160
and felt like I felt like it came, I came to the conclusion that maybe that was an addiction

1597
01:54:23.160 --> 01:54:30.120
cause he went in circles, like broke up with him so many times that maybe I was just going

1598
01:54:30.120 --> 01:54:35.960
back to him whenever I have the tendency of like, Oh, I need him back in my life.

1599
01:54:35.960 --> 01:54:36.960
I don't know.

1600
01:54:36.960 --> 01:54:37.960
Yeah.

1601
01:54:37.960 --> 01:54:46.320
The Lord, you know, there's a book, not the Lord, a book, um, years ago, I don't even

1602
01:54:46.320 --> 01:54:51.400
remember what it was called, but one of the things that said was when we do the same thing

1603
01:54:51.400 --> 01:54:59.440
over and over again with that, with the same result and it isn't good, that's insanity.

1604
01:54:59.440 --> 01:55:00.040
Like when we do that.

1605
01:55:00.000 --> 01:55:07.920
You know, and I, the first time that I, I saw that quote, I remember it like, oh, I'm insane.

1606
01:55:09.120 --> 01:55:13.840
This isn't good. I mean, that's not exactly what it was saying, but you know, it, it, it is,

1607
01:55:13.840 --> 01:55:18.800
it can be like, gosh, why, why are we, why am I struggling with this thing over and over

1608
01:55:19.440 --> 01:55:24.720
and still in this loop? And so when you were talking Alina, one of the things I felt led to

1609
01:55:24.720 --> 01:55:31.040
encourage you in is, man, I think it's pretty exciting that you're in a new apartment.

1610
01:55:31.920 --> 01:55:37.920
I, I remember when you first came in, I remember how hard this has been for you to let go of this,

1611
01:55:38.560 --> 01:55:44.000
but you've done it. You're in a new apartment, you're taking steps forward.

1612
01:55:44.000 --> 01:55:47.840
So what I heard the Lord say was tell her to celebrate herself.

1613
01:55:47.840 --> 01:55:57.760
And I kept thinking of too, like when David, um, you know, when David was with Bathsheba

1614
01:55:57.760 --> 01:56:05.920
and the baby died, he was in sackcloth, he was grieving and he grieved until,

1615
01:56:05.920 --> 01:56:11.600
I can't remember exactly who came to him, but like, until they came to him and basically

1616
01:56:11.600 --> 01:56:17.520
encouraged him, um, to remove his sackcloth, uh, I think, and I don't know if I'm mixing

1617
01:56:17.520 --> 01:56:22.960
that up with another story. So I have to look that up tonight, but just, um, what was coming

1618
01:56:22.960 --> 01:56:30.240
to me is that I think part of the struggle is that sackcloth, like sometimes we, we get very

1619
01:56:30.240 --> 01:56:36.400
used to a cycle of, you know, kind of like you're saying where we keep taking the person back.

1620
01:56:36.400 --> 01:56:40.000
And then when it doesn't work out, then we grieve, we take them back. It doesn't work,

1621
01:56:40.000 --> 01:56:46.400
but then what it can do is it can get us caught in that grief cycle where that becomes actually

1622
01:56:46.400 --> 01:56:53.120
like habit for us to be in a state of grief and struggle to let go. Um, and, and really

1623
01:56:54.400 --> 01:57:03.280
feel uncomfortable being happy. And so practicing intentional celebration of yourself and just even

1624
01:57:03.280 --> 01:57:08.240
little things like, I'm not even saying you have to worry about the big victories right now.

1625
01:57:08.240 --> 01:57:15.200
I think that you need to get used to celebrating small wins. So for the next several weeks,

1626
01:57:16.240 --> 01:57:21.760
if you go in our, in our group, in the last year, single app, when you go to create a post,

1627
01:57:22.480 --> 01:57:28.720
there's inside of that post, there's three little tabs. It'll say all wins or ask a coach.

1628
01:57:29.360 --> 01:57:35.280
If you select the wins button, the little wins button and D select all and ask a coach,

1629
01:57:35.280 --> 01:57:40.560
it will literally only post under the wins tab. So when we go in there, we look at all the tabs,

1630
01:57:41.280 --> 01:57:45.920
but I want you just as a, as a measure of practicing, celebrating yourself.

1631
01:57:47.680 --> 01:57:53.360
Even like right now, I think it would be okay if every, whatever you can do every day,

1632
01:57:53.360 --> 01:57:58.480
every couple of days, just come in there, create a post and celebrate one or two wins,

1633
01:57:58.480 --> 01:58:03.280
one or two things that you're proud of yourself for. Maybe it's only one thing, you know, for a

1634
01:58:03.280 --> 01:58:10.160
few days, but where you're saying out loud by typing it to all of us, like this was my win for

1635
01:58:10.160 --> 01:58:15.440
the last few days and that you posted in the group and just get in that habit of celebrating yourself.

1636
01:58:15.440 --> 01:58:20.800
Maybe it's that you went for a walk that day. I'm just making things up. Maybe it's that you

1637
01:58:22.000 --> 01:58:24.320
bought something new for your apartment. Maybe it's that you

1638
01:58:24.880 --> 01:58:29.280
read a chapter in the heartwork book where you're celebrating yourself and your progress.

1639
01:58:30.240 --> 01:58:35.040
Because, you know, when, when we've been in cycles, like what you've been in,

1640
01:58:36.480 --> 01:58:43.440
we can be really down on ourselves for continuing to choose something that ended up not working out

1641
01:58:43.440 --> 01:58:49.200
for us. Kind of like what Tara was talking about earlier and what I've been talking about.

1642
01:58:49.200 --> 01:58:55.440
And so I do, I do want to hear more. So if you have other things to share,

1643
01:58:55.440 --> 01:58:59.520
you were going to share tonight. I just, I do have to end because we're going at 10 o'clock.

1644
01:59:00.400 --> 01:59:04.240
And I don't want you to feel that I don't care about what you have to say.

1645
01:59:04.240 --> 01:59:09.760
So I would love for you to share a post and just tell us some more updates and let the team

1646
01:59:09.760 --> 01:59:14.160
come around you. But really I want you to practice celebrating your wins. I think that's going to be

1647
01:59:14.160 --> 01:59:21.120
a game changer for you because even in the past, I know you would feel like you would worry that

1648
01:59:21.440 --> 01:59:26.880
your words didn't matter or that people didn't hear you. I just remember way back in the beginning.

1649
01:59:27.520 --> 01:59:35.680
And so I want you to know, like, you do matter. You have come a long way. Like I've been so excited

1650
01:59:35.680 --> 01:59:40.800
to see you back on, on the live sessions, like you showing up again, that you're kind of back

1651
01:59:40.800 --> 01:59:46.080
in the groove of doing the heartwork because I think you're, you're about to break through and

1652
01:59:46.160 --> 01:59:51.440
to break through and get past where in, in the past times you've been in here, where you would

1653
01:59:51.440 --> 01:59:56.560
maybe pull back and go backwards. I just have a feeling that's not going to happen this time,

1654
01:59:56.560 --> 01:59:59.840
but you just have to stay really connected to us. You have to let

1655
02:00:00.000 --> 02:00:03.440
this come keep coming alongside of you and cheering you on. I'm

1656
02:00:03.440 --> 02:00:07.380
so glad I have to strip off some other things because I did the

1657
02:00:07.380 --> 02:00:11.280
same thing like plug into everything I could. Yeah, yeah.

1658
02:00:11.720 --> 02:00:15.120
That's okay. It's now clicking like, Oh, I need to just zero

1659
02:00:15.120 --> 02:00:19.160
in. Yeah, just zeroing in on the heartwork and really let

1660
02:00:19.160 --> 02:00:24.200
yourself like your heart. I said it in our little reminder

1661
02:00:24.200 --> 02:00:27.640
tonight. What did I say? I said something about your heartwork

1662
02:00:27.640 --> 02:00:32.920
is the best investment you'll ever make, like truly ladies. So

1663
02:00:32.920 --> 02:00:38.320
you matter more than anything else. So we're going to end on

1664
02:00:38.320 --> 02:00:41.040
that note. I want all of y'all to remember that your heartwork

1665
02:00:41.040 --> 02:00:44.400
is the best investment you could ever make in your life. It no

1666
02:00:44.400 --> 02:00:48.360
matter what the spirit made is the cherry on top. There's going

1667
02:00:48.360 --> 02:00:50.320
to be so many other things you're going to get breakthrough

1668
02:00:50.320 --> 02:00:53.760
in, like Karen talking about this relationship with her dad

1669
02:00:53.760 --> 02:00:55.840
and the breakthroughs happening there. Lisa talking about

1670
02:00:55.840 --> 02:00:59.560
finances and, and, you know, Tatiana's, you know, connecting

1671
02:00:59.560 --> 02:01:03.680
with her family, like so many things can change you all. Let's

1672
02:01:03.680 --> 02:01:06.920
let's just keep staying in the game. God's got you. We're so

1673
02:01:06.920 --> 02:01:09.200
glad that you're here. I'm going to go ahead and pray us out

1674
02:01:09.200 --> 02:01:11.960
father. Thank you so much for this night. Thank you for

1675
02:01:11.960 --> 02:01:14.600
breakthroughs. Thank you for healing. Thank you for grace.

1676
02:01:14.800 --> 02:01:17.320
God, I pray that you just continue to wash over these

1677
02:01:17.320 --> 02:01:20.400
ladies with your love and tangible ways. I thank you for

1678
02:01:20.400 --> 02:01:22.720
your head to protection around them and their minds that you

1679
02:01:22.720 --> 02:01:24.920
would cover every pit that the enemy has set for their

1680
02:01:24.920 --> 02:01:28.440
destruction, that you would remove every pit of distraction,

1681
02:01:28.640 --> 02:01:32.320
reveal those things to them and help them just to stay in the

1682
02:01:32.320 --> 02:01:34.800
lane of heartwork and the freedom that you want to give

1683
02:01:34.800 --> 02:01:36.880
them. God, I thank you that you would help them to put

1684
02:01:36.880 --> 02:01:41.720
themselves first. And to know that you see them and you love

1685
02:01:41.720 --> 02:01:45.240
them and that you are working on their behalf even right now. In

1686
02:01:45.240 --> 02:01:49.680
Jesus name. Amen. Amen. God bless you all. We'll see you

1687
02:01:49.680 --> 02:01:53.200
guys in the group. Okay. Have a good night, everyone. Bye.