Hi, ladies. Welcome. I'm so glad to have you all here with us tonight. Welcome, welcome.
We have a couple people in, more people logging in. I'm going to go ahead and get started
with our housekeeping items and then we'll go from there. So glad to see all of y'all
tonight. So we want to just kind of circle back to some of our housekeeping things. We've
talked about these before. Some of you post regularly, so this may not apply to you, but
for those that are new or maybe you're just someone that hasn't fully participated yet
in regards to actually posting in the community, asking questions, processing what you're unpacking
with the heartwork material. So I just want to touch on why do we even post in the group?
And here's the biggest thing is most of us are hurt in community. Most of us are hurt
by other people. And so oftentimes what can happen when we actually choose to come into
the group and post is that we're allowing ourselves to be healed in community, healed
in and through relationship, connection, coming out of hiding, allowing people to see the
vulnerable places. And even the questions that we have about those vulnerable places
and how to process those things, it really can empower us to come out of shame, guilt
and condemnation because the reality is, is even as we post them, and sometimes after
we've made a post, the enemy will often try to bring shame or guilt. And some people in
the past have even deleted posts because they got really nervous. Well, that is the enemy
working. And so obviously he's trying to hinder us from healing. He's trying to hinder us
from moving forward. So he is going to try to convince a lot of you to never post to
just kind of listen to the content, do it on your own. And and that's fine. If that's
what you choose to do. We're not trying to judge that. But I just want you to know that
you are going to get so much more out of this program, if you will give yourself permission
to get out of your comfort zone, and to get out of that fear factor in that space, and
to come into community because again, we make each other stronger, iron sharpens iron.
And so one friend sharpens another, when we're healthy, you know, when we're surrounded by
healthy community, man, the outcome is going to be way different than if it's a community
that hasn't been healthy for us in the past. So I want to encourage you all to continue
to come out of hiding, allow yourself to be seen, heard, known and loved. I talk about
this all the time. This is something I've absolutely experienced personally, professionally
and so many ways when I quit hiding. And I made myself accountable way back in the day
to counselors or coaches even in this program. You know, I just posted all you know, not
like crazy amount, but like consistently, when I had a question, I had to get over being
afraid to ask question and fearing does this sound dumb? Does this I even had somebody
say something to me today, I don't remember what they were messaging me about. But they
started with, I know this sounds silly, but and I want some of you all to even consider
how often do you minimize your thoughts, feelings, insights, even when you go to say something
to someone, I know this might sound really stupid, but we need to get out of those habits
come into alignment with the truth is that you have thoughts that matter. They're not
dumb. They're not stupid. They're not lacking knowledge. You know, whatever it is that we've
kind of partnered with because of things that people have said in the past. That's where
why those things are showing up today. Um, yes. So Amy in the heartwork group, only the
heartwork people see that nobody else. Okay, so only the ladies that are on this journey
in the heartwork group are going to see that in the coaches that admin the group. David
Dorman is one of the admins in there, but I don't want you all to get afraid like he
doesn't even have time to come in here and read the post. He's only in there because
he helps do all of our tech stuff. So he's the only guy in there. It's all ladies. If
there is another guy, it's our app developer, and he doesn't come in and read our stuff
either. I can guarantee you because there's things we're asking them to, to fix and work
on and you know, Hey, they got to focus on that. So the next phase is different than
first phase. Okay. The heartwork phase is first phase two is what we call love story
accelerator. Um, and the reality is, is some people will date and accept the dating challenges
right away. Some people are going to take some time to just keep focusing on their healing,
but we also have heartwork components that are built into
All of our coaches, any of our coaches in any phase of our community have been trained in the heartwork modalities and like the concepts and things that you all are learning here, and then how to convey them in the different phases when different situations and scenarios come up.
So it's, yeah, it's you're going to keep learning, you're going to keep growing.
We in phase two, we will teach you all a lot of the concepts and ways that we would recommend that you approach dating from our perspective in a healthy way.
So there's just a lot to learn along the whole way.
And then VIP, what used to be called our phase three, we call it VIP now.
That's where all the ladies kind of go into.
And then our men as well on their side into where we do additional what we call advanced heartwork.
There's Ask Jackie sessions.
Sometimes we do love stories where we have people come in and share their love story, like how God brought them together.
What did God do in them before?
We do ladies night over there.
We talk you all we get real, we get down, we get dirty.
Sometimes.
I mean, we literally we talk about this this week.
One of our coaches is going to be talking to the ladies about sex.
And what do you do when your body you're older and your body doesn't respond like all kinds like we talk about it all.
Okay.
And then also just like health and fitness as summers here, it's kind of a good time to be talking about how can we be healthy in our whole selves, not just our heart.
And so, yeah, there's so much more, but that's just kind of a little kind of drip of what VIP is about.
But as you all are here in the heartwork, of course, we want you just to dial in here and really allow God.
I know Amy has been here doing the work.
So great questions, Amy, on that for everybody.
But I know that's something that you're considering moving into in the near future.
I believe I think that's where you're where you're at.
But ladies, yeah, there's so much in this community.
And the reality is, is that, you know, everybody's in different seasons of their lives.
And so some of you, you know, even came in just at a place that you're just like, I don't even know if I want a relationship.
I just know I need healing.
You know, that's a totally different place than somebody's like, I absolutely want a relationship.
I don't have a clue how to get there.
Nothing's been working.
You know, there's just there's just the whole we have people that come in and their spouses have passed away.
You know, there's just so many different dynamics.
And so whatever it is that you all need, our coaches are going to come alongside of you in every phase of our community.
All right. So distractions are going to come.
I think it's super important.
Y'all, summer is here.
You can see it in our numbers in our live sessions.
This is real.
And I'm not knocking that because, man, who doesn't want to be outside during summertime?
Right.
But I do want to encourage you all to really continue to stay in the game.
Okay.
Show up.
Keep showing up.
You know, make this a priority on your schedule as much as you can.
And I know people are in different time zones and all of that stuff.
But I want to just really recommend that as distractions come, being here at the lives, in addition to doing your work, is going to help you kind of stay on the course.
Even if some of you, like, will face moments where you feel stuck and you're like, I know I need to do this next thing.
I know that I don't want to do this next thing.
And so maybe showing up at the live.
Someone this morning, I forget what her name was, but I gave her an assignment.
I think it was last week or two weeks ago.
I think it was last week, though.
And she was really struggling just to finish her last.
If you guys were here, she was talking about her God or her list.
But it wasn't the never will I ever list.
Y'all, she did it.
She did it.
She posted about it.
I think it's Rachel.
I don't know if she's here tonight, but she did it and she is getting ready to move forward.
And sometimes that's all it takes is someone kind of saying, hey, you've got this.
Let's look at why you're avoiding it.
You know, because remember, if you're not if you don't know this yet, if you're not at the week where this comes up, avoidance is a self protection mechanism.
Avoidance and procrastination kind of go hand in hand.
And typically, like even myself, I was working on I'm going to be preaching in August and I was working on my sermon for that today.
And I kind of just did it differently than I've done it in the past.
And everything came together so much quicker.
And I just was telling my husband, I think I need to write my book like this because it just I was approaching it completely differently.
Sometimes I think, you know, I'm using a book as an analogy.
But for you all, it's your heart work.
Right, because that's where you're at in this season.
I think any of us can come up with reasons why we're not good enough, we're not ready, we're afraid, you know, whatever that might be.
But God has you here for a purpose, in this season, at this time, even for some, you know, they go through it, they go through life, some things happen, people come back, and they redo the heart work.
You know, that may not be your story, but that does happen for some people, and there's nothing wrong with that.
Because the reality is, is when we go through the heart work, we only have the capacity we have in that season to receive what we can.
Alright, so I just want to encourage you all, just to continue to give yourselves a lot of grace, God has a plan for you, and he'll help you.
As Juliana is posting, welcome Juliana for your first time. I'm going to kind of circle back to if you're here for your first time, I was waiting for more people to join in and be with us here tonight.
But if you're new, this is your first time here, please let us know that in the chat, as well as Juliana.
If anyone else would love a like, hello, we're so glad you're here.
For all my other ladies, welcome back, it's so good to see you.
If you didn't know, we like to see you on screen, even if you've got no makeup on.
Even if you're like, yeah, I look really tired.
Now, if you're eating or driving or something like that, that can be a little distracting, but we do want you all to show up and allow yourself to be seen on camera.
This is very good practice for future online potential dating.
And some of you are like, I am not going to do online dating.
Either way, you still need to practice seeing yourself on screen, because that's kind of the first layer of like, really embracing yourself.
Okay, on every level.
All right, last housekeeping for tonight is Supernatural Saturday.
You all, where is the lack of discipline costing you?
Ouch. I was like, man, there was some really good stuff.
It was making me really realize how often the enemy can try to get us off track.
You know, when she was talking about, you know, all the reasons why we don't do things.
But what if we, what if we committed to doing one or two things really excellently in this next year?
So your heart healing being one of those things.
Your heart work will literally change your life.
It will, it can.
And so stay in the game, keep doing it.
Check that replay out.
It's going to, it's going to be really good and hold you accountable to staying in the game and doing your heart work.
All right, let me pray for us.
Father, thank you so much for this night.
God, thank you for grace.
Thank you for healing.
Yes, Lord, we thank you for supernatural breakthroughs.
God, you are the God of the breakthrough.
Jehovah Jireh, our provider.
I pray that you would come and inhabit our conversations tonight.
The coaching, let everything be done unto your glory.
Lord, I thank you for revealings for healing that are happening.
God anoint our eyes to see you, our ears to hear what your spirit is saying.
Help us to have an upgrade in the revelation of how you see us, what you think about us.
God, that you would remove all the chaff, all the things, the muck and the mire,
that you would take our feet out of that and set our feet upon the rock, which is you.
God, I thank you that you have predestined us, God, for your plans and purposes and promises.
God, you created us like in the fullness of how you originally wanted us to be and who you wanted us to walk into.
But God, things led us away from that.
So Lord, I pray that you would take our feet off of pathways of pain and place our feet on the pathways that lead back to you tonight.
Yes, Lord, I thank you that even if one sheep goes astray, God, that your love, your loving kindness goes looking and calling out to us.
So Lord, I pray that you would turn our hearts and our minds and our spirits back to you.
God, lift our eyes up to where our help comes from, the maker of heaven and earth.
And remind us, God, of the truth that nothing is too hard for you.
Transform us from the inside out.
We just thank you, Holy Spirit, for being here.
Have your way.
In Jesus' name, amen, amen, amen.
Tonight is Jesus Cares Board.
Sorry, it's not Jesus Cares Board.
It's Supernatural Surrender.
But we're going to talk about our Jesus Cares Board.
If y'all haven't heard this yet, you're brand new.
It's in week one.
You will see the video about your Jesus Cares Board.
It'll walk you through how to do it.
You know, just don't overthink it, ladies.
The biggest thing I can say to you is any activation we give you, let go of perfectionism.
Let go of fear of, like, am I doing this perfect?
Am I doing this right?
Just do your best.
Post it.
If we feel like we need to coach you or help you.
you build on what you've already started, because I don't even like to say the word correct. Okay,
I like to say build on what you've started, because the reality is, is your process matters.
All right. And part of the heart healing. I've talked to a lot of people today, I feel like I
was getting ready to say I was talking to someone today. I've been talking and coaching a lot of
people today. But I was talking to someone else about the reality of trusting ourselves.
And how important that is. And so what I was about to say is in your heart healing journey,
that is a huge part of what God is going to try to help you work on. Learning how to trust him,
like really trust him because you get to know him better. But also learning how to trust yourself.
So many of us, our struggle is actually that we don't trust ourself. Because life and trauma
taught us not to. A lot of self doubt. Like even like me, back when I started dating my
spiritual daughter's dad, I thought I was hearing from the Lord. Totally thought I was hearing from
the Lord. But then God started revealing red flags to me. And that was the moment that I should have
recognized like, okay, this is no longer of the Lord. Because at that moment, God was revealing
to me that my, I didn't know what it was called back then, but my counterfeit identities were
leading me towards that guy. But as soon as the flags were being revealed, if I would have
listened, I would have avoided a lot of pain. Now, I don't shame myself for that anymore. It's
just a part of my story. I've learned a lot through it. And I'm grateful for how much I've
grown. And I'm grateful for how much I can tell you all. So hopefully you won't make the same
mistakes. But here's the thing, is that even those things, God is asking us, will you surrender
those situations to me? Will you give me the years that the locust has eaten,
and the moth has destroyed? Will you give me the years that were eaten by addiction?
Whatever the thing is, that we would not hold ourselves in contempt because of mistakes that
we made and how many years, you know, in our minds. And I'm not saying it's not true.
I dated him for six years, you all, way too long. But it's a part of my story. It's a part of my
process. You better believe the enemy has been chirping and trying to chirp in my ear about how
if I hadn't dated him, if I hadn't stayed there, I probably would have had a baby. Because I would
have met someone and moved into something healthier and not lost that six years of really
good fertile time, you all. But I wasn't trying to have babies back then. Because I was trying to
wait until I got married. So here's the thing. I could be a victim and partner with that. Or I
could just say, you know what, Lord? Man, you know it all. You know how I feel. You know about those
years. You know how hard it is sometimes. But God, I trust you that you're going to work it all for
my good, including whatever children you desire to bring into my life in the future. And I've
been able to love a lot of kids already, you all. It's not about that. But those were some of the
dreams. That stuff that I have dreamed of doing and being a part of, if you will, is having my
own biological child. Now I'm still believing for that. I'm like, God, if you want to do a miracle,
I'm still praying. But God does miracles in all different ways, you all. And so I don't want to
minimize the miracle of a bio baby. But I'm seeing God work some pretty awesome things out in my
heart, even as we pursue fostering for this season. And we're just kind of keeping our hands
really open. So I don't know who I'm saying that for, but I want you to know God sees you.
And sometimes he leads us down a path we might not have originally chosen.
But man, it can start to show us so much more about ourselves in the heart of the Father.
All right. So on my Jesus Cares Board, on that note, one of the things I put on there years ago
was a baby. Because I've always wanted babies. But I also put my stepson, I put my spiritual
daughters on there and things that they were struggling with. Whatever you are worried about
that you're fearful of, whatever is weighing you down, you all, I put on there that I wanted to
have more fun.
Like, I just felt like my life was so serious back then, and I've left it up there because
even doing ministry, like ministry can kind of like try to take over your life sometimes.
And so really intentionally asking God for fun things for us to go do and the money and
resources to do it, that has been on there.
I put my school loans on there.
I wanted to pay off all of our debt.
I needed dental work.
Y'all, these were things I put on years ago.
Last year in 2025, Brian and I got all the dental work that we had been putting off done.
And we've all like, we like literally this next month, in the next month or so, we'll
have paid all that off, you know?
And so it's really incredible.
Again, I just want to encourage you, you may not see how it's going to work out.
Some of the things I put on my Jesus Cares board within months were answered, others,
they stayed up there.
And I continue to thank God, thank Jesus for working in them.
And so for you, that some of you, that's how it's going to be too, but don't ever give
up because he's working on your behalf, but go ahead and as you guys, that'll be one of
your activations.
I won't need to talk about that necessarily again later, I have two activations to give
you for this week, but your Jesus Cares board is really important.
So when you work on yours, if you've never done it, we want to encourage you to go ahead
and create, like take a photo of it, put it in the group, and then we're going to cheer
you on.
I might, some of us, like the coaches and myself, I like to like look at them and if
I can see them, sometimes, and it's okay if I can't, but if I can see things y'all have
written, sometimes like stuff will hit my spirit and I'll just feel like God wants me
to speak something over that for y'all.
But sometimes it's just, hey, you're doing awesome, we're cheering you on, like, it just
depends on what, you know, again, if I can see it or not.
Some of y'all might not be comfortable with everybody seeing what's written on there,
and that's totally fine.
So whatever you're comfortable with, but the goal is to do it.
For those of you that might have been here for a little while and you did your Jesus
Cares board, maybe, you know, months ago, we have some people that have been here with
us for a year or longer, I want to encourage you to revisit that board if you've already
done it.
And just ask the Lord, is there anything new that I've been carrying on my back that I
need to, that I need to cast onto you that I've kind of forgotten, like, oh yeah, I was
trying to carry that and it's not mine to carry.
And hey, did Jesus answer any of those?
And then I have started doing, when Jesus answers those prayers, I started creating
a sheet that I put my answered prayers on.
And it's been so fun to see that sheet growing.
And so you all can do that if you want.
It's really been a blessing in helping me, but you don't have to if you don't want.
All right, so, supernatural surrender, a huge, like, component of this is reminding all of
us, myself included, it's us allowing God to add his super to our natural.
Because God is spirit, he is truth, he is life.
We know that the Bible says that the enemy comes to kill, steal, and destroy, but Jesus
Christ came to give us life and give it to us more abundantly.
I want you to think about the word release.
When we release something to the Lord, we're saying, I allow you, Lord, to move in this
area.
I allow you to act, I allow you to flow freely, and I'm going to let go of trying to control
this thing.
I'm going to let go of trying to control the outcome.
So I have to pray this a lot regarding my girls, a lot.
And sometimes I got to pray it a lot regarding our church people, you know, sometimes they
start to, even though they're not our kids, they start, you know, when you're shepherding
and caring for people, you know, it's just like, okay, Lord, I know they love you.
But man, they just keep making the wrong choice here, you know, and you just, Lord, I surrender
them to you.
I surrender the situation to you.
You know, we have people that are going through court custody battles here in this community,
you know, all kinds of stuff.
And so Lord, I just surrender that custody battle to you, you know, where we're continuing
to lay it all down.
John 15, four through five says this, remain in me as I also remain in you.
No branch can bear fruit by itself.
It must remain in the vine.
Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
I am the vine.
You are the branches.
If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit.
Apart from me, you can do nothing.
I put that scripture in there a lot because I need to remember it all the time.
I think that even just our human nature wants us to believe that we can be.
independent of God, that we don't need his help. You know, that little fleshly
part of us when we're a little toddler and we're like, I do it myself, I don't,
like we kind of have that still on the inside of us a lot. But God is asking you
to surrender these aspects of your heart and life to him completely. So he's, you
know, as a reminder, he's a gentleman, he's not gonna force his way in, he's gonna
stand at the door of our hearts that we talked about this a couple weeks ago and
he's gonna knock and he's gonna ask for permission to enter. And so our role in
this is taking down the do not enter signs. Those areas of our hearts and our
minds and our spirits and our souls, our bodies, where we've erected these signs
and we've said, hey God, you can work in all of that, but no, this area, like, and we
do it subconsciously most of the time, ladies, but we want to be in control. We
want to drive the car, we want to get to the destination that we want when we
want it and how we want it. And God is saying, will you trust me enough to
really let go of this? Will you? Oh, thank you, Lord. Will you trust me enough to
defend you when other people say things against you and spitefully use you? Should
we be doormats? Absolutely not, you all. But here's the reality. Sometimes there
are seasons where the enemy sends people to do things, trials and tribulations. It
says we're gonna go through those. But woe to who they come through. The Bible
also says that. But it's not our job to take care of that. It's God's job. So for
whoever that's for, the Lord wants you to really trust Him to handle the situation
He has your back. And you all, it might not even be in the time and the season
that we will see it. And that's hard sometimes. I can remember wanting
vengeance. I can remember praying, God, will you bring vengeance? And I wanted to
see it. I know. I'm honest. I'm honest with you all. I love the Lord. But even
back then, I loved the Lord. But the reality is, is I was in so much pain
because of other people's actions. This is way back when I was a baby Christian.
I'm like, yes, Lord, bring vengeance. We know David prayed for those things, too.
I think when we deny our humanness, when we deny how we feel, then we're actually
not even being honest with ourselves. And that's a part of us, like not trusting
ourselves. It starts with being honest. I feel the Holy Spirit on this. It starts
with being honest with where we're really at. And then man, things can get
real. And God can come in and help release, like help us release that stuff
and love on us, even in the middle of the anger and the pain. Remember, anger
hurts bodyguard. Sadness, frustration, disappointment, heartbreak, all those
things are under there. But God can help us work through all of those. So
remember, giving God permission is like giving him the key. You're giving him
access. Remember, you don't have to give everybody all people access to you.
You can still love someone. We can still love our enemies. But that doesn't mean
we have to give our enemies access to us. I don't know who that's for either. But
it just felt really important to say it out loud. Because some of you all, because
you've been taught to be a good Christian, you need to let everybody have
full access to you, even toxic, unhealthy people. Because we're just called to
love. That's what we're called to do. Well, yeah, we're called to love. But
we're also called to walk in wisdom. And if we need more wisdom, the Bible says to
ask, and God will give it to us liberally, that he won't hold back. That's,
that's literally like there's multiple things. But that's one of the things God
says he will not withhold that from us. He's going to give it to us liberally.
That means excessive wisdom. Wisdom will help us walk in discernment to recognize
unhealthy things. To get the healing that we need to to seek out the help when we
need it, whatever that looks like, financial stewards. I needed more wisdom.
I still all the time. I'm like, God, give me more wisdom on how to navigate
financial things to make good investments to, you know, invest in people when I
need to. Yeah.
I'm glad that's speaking to you, Trina.
You know, it's important for us to recognize these areas
where the enemy continues to try to trip us up, right?
And that's how we can step into freedom.
Y'all, that Revelation 3.20,
if you're wondering what scripture it talks about,
the Lord standing at the door of our hearts and knocking,
that's that scripture.
I'm not gonna go ahead and read the whole thing
just for time's sake,
but I want you guys to think of where inside of yourself
are you currently in your life,
whether it's out loud verbally or internal,
but you're somehow saying in some way, shape, or form,
I've got this, I do it myself.
I don't need any help.
I don't need a man.
I watched a cute little movie the other night on something.
I better not say,
cause sometimes I'm like,
this is where you can get in a trap
because if I say the movie and someone else is like,
oh my God, she watched that movie and liked it,
it said an F word in it.
I don't know.
I better not say it.
It probably did, but it was this cute little quirky movie.
And I think the reason I'm bringing that up
is because this young girl had convinced herself
that she didn't need a man to be fulfilled.
And y'all, that is true, okay?
We don't need them to be fulfilled.
We should have that confidence in who we are
and be healthy as individuals.
And a healthy individual and a healthy individual,
one and one, come together and they make two,
not broken halfsies, okay?
But the reality is,
is that God created us for relationship.
And as she started to allow herself
to recognize why she had put all these walls up,
I mean, essentially, you know,
I watch everything through the heartwork lens.
My husband and I, we'll sit and actually,
we used to, we watched this Love is Blind,
I think at one point,
and we would sit and like analyze the people like,
man, they need artwork and they, you know, just,
I mean, it really can teach you if you kind of let it.
But I was sitting there thinking about this actress,
even though it was a movie and it was fake,
but man, like her walls were so high
that she hardly let anybody in.
But when she started letting those come down,
and again, this was a movie,
but this really sweet guy entered in.
And I think that that can be so true.
I'm not saying it's always easy,
but I am saying it's worth it and that it can happen.
All right, let's keep moving.
So God isn't up in heaven saying,
hey, good luck, kid, I hope you make it.
I hope you figure it out.
But some of us actually think that is how God treats us.
Hope you figure that out one day.
I'm just giving you breadcrumbs until you get there.
But that is not God.
That is not God.
Now, I am gonna say there are seasons
that I have walked through where I'm like,
God, where are you?
Like, I haven't heard you as much lately.
But it wasn't that he wasn't talking.
What was happening is he was trying to teach me
a new way to hear him.
So often we just are like, God doesn't talk to me.
Or God quit talking to me.
But the reality is,
is he's actually shifting the way he's speaking to us,
because he wants to teach us something new.
Isaiah 43, 19 isn't just about,
you're like God's promises unfolding.
I think truthfully, now I would need to go study context,
but that just came up in my spirit.
I think it's about when God's like,
I'm gonna do a new thing.
I'm gonna bring streams in the, you know,
in the wasteland and rivers in the desert.
And that might be backwards, y'all,
but that is the scripture.
I might just gather those back.
But I think it's also about a new revelation
of who he is.
A new revelation of how to connect in relationship
and intimacy and a new understanding
of what heaven sounds like and looks like.
And I just think we really put God in a box so often
of what the new has to look like.
So what is the new God wants to give you?
What's the super that he wants to come down
and meet with your natural tonight?
And we may not always feel it.
Sometimes I feel it.
And you know, y'all, I get excited
and I'll be like, ooh, I feel the Holy Spirit.
I just love it so much.
But sometimes I don't.
Sometimes after I even get off from coaching,
I'll be like, my husband will ask me, how'd that go?
I think good.
I didn't really.
feel the Lord a lot tonight. But that doesn't, those are the times, honestly, that I will hear
people get all kinds of breakthrough. It's not about what we feel. That's awesome when we get
to experience that, but sometimes our most significant transformation is going to be in
the quiet moments when we might not feel anything at all. But that doesn't make it any less effective.
God is always working. All right, I'm going to keep moving. All right, so here are some ways. I'm
going to go through these really quick. Y'all, one of the easiest ways to grab these for yourselves
later, if you don't want to hurry and take notes, is go back, play the replay, and use like a
transcription app, and it'll take notes for you. A little insight for you. All right,
these are some ways that we say to God, I do it myself. God, I've got this. These are some
different ways they can show up in our lives. Relationship areas. We can try to control
conversations or outcomes during conflict rather than seeking God's wisdom first.
Making major relationship decisions without prayer or godly counsel, or what we would consider
surrounding ourselves with godly community. That's a big thing we coach on.
Number three, trying to earn God's love through performance instead of resting in God's unconditional
love. Financial and career. Making financial decisions based solely on our own understanding
without seeking God's direction. Awarding resources out of fear instead of trusting God as our provider.
Parenting and family. Trying to control our children's every choice instead of training them
and trusting God with their hearts. Fixing every problem for our kids rather than allowing them to
learn and grow through challenges as we love them. Personal growth. White-knuckling through bad
decisions instead of inviting God into the transformation process. Trying to heal our
own emotional wounds without letting God into the painful places. Comparing our journey to
other people and trying to fast-track our growth. Some people will come into this community and
they will try to go through this heartwork in one or two weeks. Y'all, that is way too fast.
Like, we gotta let our hearts breathe, you know. Sometimes, you know, you'll open. I don't drink
like you guys like at all, but I just know this from working. And I worked, I was trying to think
of what the name of the restaurant was, Bravo, years ago. And one of the things they taught us
was, like, they would open the wine and let it breathe before they would serve it to people.
And so I want you to kind of be thinking about, like, when you're going through the heartwork,
sometimes you just gotta let your soul breathe. You gotta create some white space to process what
you're learning, what you're hearing, and journal it. Go for a walk and think on it. You know,
that those are the moments where you can kind of like, okay, I'm gonna let my soul breathe and just
let God speak to me. And again, sometimes it's starting to recognize how God speaks to you in
the little ways and the big ways, and then going from there. Okay, I'm gonna keep going.
I'm gonna keep going. John 14, 25 through 27 says this, all this I've spoken while I am still,
while still with you, but the advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name,
will teach you all things, and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace,
I leave with you. My peace, I give to you. Jesus was saying that. He's like saying,
I'm gonna give you my peace. I don't give it to you as the world gives.
Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not be afraid. He literally was saying like,
his peace is not the kind of peace that we know in the world.
So do you need peace in a situation tonight? Do you need peace in some area of your heart tonight?
Because God, like Jesus wants to give that to you, and he sent the Holy Spirit,
your advocate, your helper, to bring that, to usher that in to you.
In supernatural surrender, another really important key component to this is that we do not
dig in this community. At least we do our best not to. Okay, what do I mean by that? We don't
want to go like trying to look under rocks and figure this all out for ourselves in your heart
healing process. The key is asking the Lord to reveal areas for healing and trusting the timing
that he does it. When we start trying to dig and
figure it all out, we start going and talking to all of our family members about our past,
or we try to go back and circle back and look up all the painful things that that person
did to us.
Y'all know some people, back in the day, I don't know if you guys have ever done this,
I'm telling on myself again, when things would be really bad, I would watch a sad movie and
then I would sit there and read the really mean things that the person had said to me
in the text or whatever.
And then I would just cry more.
Why would I do that to myself?
But I did it over and over.
So again, I don't know who I'm saying that for.
But if you're rehashing old stuff like that, even if it's not exactly that way, but you're
just going back and you're rehashing it over and over and over in your mind, what they
did to you, what they did to you, what they did to you, like a record that's broken and
it's just kind of on repeat.
The Lord is saying, it's time to let that go.
It's time to let that go.
It's over.
What they did happened.
Yes.
And it probably hurt you.
But the more you sit there and rehash it, when we rehash it like that, it was like,
I wanted, I watched those movies that I knew were going to cause me to cry because I'm
an emotional person.
And it was like, I wanted someone in that moment to feel my pain with me or something,
even though it was a movie, instead of just allowing myself to let that go and get out
of that.
Eventually I did, but I, you all, I had to look at these patterns of things I would do
to kind of just sit in my pain and my victimhood.
So if that's where you're at, the Lord loves you and none of us judge you.
He doesn't judge you.
He understands why you're there, but that is not where he wants you to be.
He's calling you out of hiding.
He's calling you out of victimhood tonight.
And he's saying, you don't have to dig.
You don't have to try to piece your healing together.
I've got this.
And I'm going to reveal to you what you need at the appointed time.
He's going to bring the things out of darkness into the light for healing.
Trust what he brings up, lean into the Holy Spirit.
And I always say this, pull the thread.
What do I mean by that?
When something trickles up to the surface, sometimes you're going to be like, well, that's
weird.
I haven't thought of that in like, I don't know, 20 years, maybe more, five years.
Y'all, that is something trickling to the surface.
So what we do when we pull the thread is we, instead of like kind of dismissing that
and moving on, we're like, Lord, I haven't thought of that in like 20 years.
Is there something that you're trying to reveal to me about it?
Because if it's coming up, that means there's probably healing associated to that or even
something else that's connected to that underneath.
So you ask God really good questions, do your best to listen for the answer.
And again, sometimes we might not hear it even right then.
God might not be like, oh, this is why I'm showing you this and put all of it together
right really quick.
Sometimes it takes a few weeks, but we just ask and we trust.
We move forward.
We ask, we trust.
So as you're going into your breakout sessions tonight, one of the things we're going to
do is talk about what is God nudging you to surrender to him tonight?
And no matter if you've been in this again for several months, a year, hopefully God
is leading you to surrender something different tonight than he asked you to surrender several
months ago.
So if you've been with us that long, I really want to encourage you to not share the same
thing that you shared before.
Because we want you to practice moving on from that thing.
Just like I was saying earlier, we don't want to keep rehashing the same things.
Okay?
All right.
So your question is, what are some things God is nudging you to surrender to him tonight?
So for those of you that are new, if you've never done a breakout session on Zoom, I'm
going to set those up on the back end, and then you'll see a little prompt pop up on
your screen.
I'll let you know before it's going to come your way, and you'll just click to join that.
If you get into a room and the other people are quiet and they're not talking, just wait
for a minute and I'll move you around, or if I see that people can't go in rooms and
things like that.
So it doesn't typically take me too long to get people situated.
All right.
So we're going to do, yeah, let's do seven minutes, and here you go.
Go ahead and click those as quick as you can to join those rooms.
Hello.
Oh, Wendy, I hear other Wendy. I hear you already. How did you click to join that room? That popped up.
Oh.
All right. Give me a sec.
Okay, thank you, Father. I think everyone's situated. Thank you so much, God, for what you're doing tonight. We thank you for all the ways that you do talk to us, Lord, and the way that you are revealing areas for healing.
We know, God, that you have seen everything that we've ever walked through and that you're working all things together for good in our lives, not just for our good, but to save many people alive.
We thank you, God, for continuing to remind us of, yes, Lord, the things that led us to our first love, which was you, God, that help us to let go of the things.
Yeah, I just heard a scripture, the weights that so easily ensnare us so that we can press on toward the high calling of God for our lives.
We thank you. I just heard the Lord say to pray over the things that are informing our thoughts.
So, Lord, we just thank you for healing our minds, God, that you're transforming us by the renewing of our minds, that all old things are passing away and, behold, everything is becoming new in you.
God, I thank you that you would help us to forget the former things.
Yes, Lord, we will always remember the things we've been through, but, Lord, I pray that you would just remove the sting and the pain of death, the pain of loss, the pain of trauma.
We thank you, God, for the balm of Gilead being placed upon our hearts, our minds, our bodies, our spirits, our souls.
We thank you that you would give us an upgrade into the heavenly realms.
Yes, Lord, help us to hear the heart of heaven over us tonight.
We thank you, God, for helping us to yield to you in the process of surrendering, submission, God, that we would let go in this process, that you would help us to grow in the revelation of how we can trust you more every day.
We thank you that even as I was talking about releasing earlier, I just turned in the heart work to this page where it's talking about revealing, which is different from releasing.
Reveal simply means to make something known through divine inspiration. I love that.
And so that's why we call it the revealing for healing, that we're gaining revelation and insight divinely from heaven.
So, God, I thank you for upgrades and our ability to hear what your spirit is saying.
I thank you that even as I put my hands on my ear, that this represents all those in the heart work and in the last year single community, that we are your sheep and we hear your voice and we will always obey what you tell us to do, Lord.
I thank you that we will no longer allow the pitfalls of the past to keep us bound.
God, I thank you that you are continuing to reveal your heart for us and over us.
And I thank you, God, that you are bringing healing into the deepest, darkest places of our soul.
God, even places that we don't remember things that happened in our subconscious.
I thank you that you know those things, you haven't forgotten them.
And God, I thank you that you're working on our behalf in every one of those areas right now.
I thank you that your word declares in 2 Timothy 1, 7,
God, I thank you that you would help us to walk in the truth of your love.
Yes, Lord, that your perfect love casts out all fear because fear has to do with torment.
So God, I thank you that you would help us to become more and more rooted and grounded in your love and your truth and your healing and your grace.
Yes, Lord, Isaiah 41, 10 says,
Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
In this translation, it actually says victorious right hand.
Sometimes when I'm praying, y'all, I go back to the way I memorized it, but this was a little different.
But either way, the righteous right hand, his victorious right hand, it's a good reminder
that God is victorious.
Jesus already came and he won the battle.
He died.
He brought the victory for us and so part of our journey of the healing is also learning
how to step into that victory, how to partner with God in the victory.
And so Lord, we just thank you that you would help us to gain that revelation more tonight.
And yeah, just to, um, I just read part of the scripture and it just made me think about
just the reality of oftentimes we look in the mirror and we don't like what we see and
some people love what they see and that's awesome.
But I know like there's this old picture I can remember seeing it and there was one image
where the little cat would see a lion, but then there was also the opposite and I'm trying
to think of what it was, but that's what came to mind.
Like sometimes we, we look in the mirror and we really think of ourselves smaller than
what we are, but you know, what does God see?
So God, I thank you that you would open our hearts, expand our vision to see what you
see when you look in the mirror at us.
Just like you would help us to hear what your spirit is saying over us louder than any voice
of the enemy.
I thank you Lord that the more that we heal and grow as we go, the more that we can break
free from the chains that have bound us in the past.
I thank you God for anointing, um, yeah, our pathways.
I thank you God that you're continuing to lead us and guide us in every way, in every
area.
I thank you that, um, in James 4, 7, it says this, so then surrender to God, stand up to
the devil and resist him and he will turn away from you.
I think that's such an important part of this process is that we would stand up to the devil,
that we would just stop taking his crap, so to speak, and all the stinking thinking that
he sends to our minds on a daily basis.
And even sometimes just that getting our flesh into submission and really aligning ourselves
with the fullness of everything God has for us.
Job 22 verse 21 in the NLC also says this, submit to God and you will have peace.
Then things will go well with you.
So God is continuing to work in our hearts.
We can trust him in the process and he can enable us and empower us with the ability
to surrender.
So if we struggle to surrender, guess who we can ask for help?
The Lord, the Holy Spirit, who enables us to do everything.
The power that rose Jesus from the dead is living on the inside of us.
So let's tap into that when we struggle to surrender.
Welcome back, ladies.
So glad to have you here again.
For those of you that don't know why I'm just talking, I pray and I just release things
while y'all are in the breakout session over you all, as well as people that are going
to watch the replay and all of that.
So excited to see you all back here.
I do want to make sure I don't lose my spot there.
Sorry about that.
All right.
So our other activation.
Y'all, I'm not going to go into explaining it a lot.
I already posted it in the group.
Y'all, I forgot last week.
I posted it this morning.
You'll see it in there.
And I thought when I was in there this morning, I'm going to go ahead and post the one for
tonight so that I don't forget when I log off and get busy throughout the week and forget
again.
And so you'll see the Never Will I Ever from last week is posted under your announcements
tab.
That's where you're going to find the activations every week when I post them and pin them.
You'll see them under the announcement tab, but the ones for this week is completing your
permission slip.
Okay.
There's, I said two earlier, but there's actually three, but they're, they're fairly easy ones.
Okay.
The permission slip.
We give you this a couple of times in your heart healing process on purpose because giving
God permission is so vital to this process.
Oh, Karen, I don't know.
Was it missing from last week?
I will have to check on that.
I normally always check and I didn't last week because typically they get those up like
clockwork.
I will definitely check on that.
So there's just one permission slip.
There's just one, but I just always ask you guys to fill it out a couple of times because
I think it's important to revisit it, to continue to surrender things God is putting on our
heart, but also to put it up, to print it out, you know, hang it up, pray it over yourself.
I used to pray it over myself every day.
That's just, I, that's just what I felt led to do.
Y'all, I don't want you to feel like it's some religious thing, but.
It did help me just partner with that submission and surrender, that heart posture, the whole way through.
And I prayed it out loud over myself, okay?
Jesus Cares Word that I talked about earlier, okay?
And then I'm calling it, this is what I just call it, you guys can call it whatever you want,
but Morning and Evening Surrender Moments.
So, I'm really bummed that that's really sticking in my head that that is not in there from the replay
because that last week's session was really good.
Let me just check on this really quick. I'm sorry, I feel like I need to do that.
Wow, that's spinning. Let's see here.
It sure isn't there. I'm so sorry about that, you all.
I will work on that and we'll get that up right away.
Some people are probably wondering where that was.
All right, so Morning and Evening Surrender Moments.
So, I just have typed up, you'll see it in there, a little prayer to pray over yourself in the morning.
I write in there before you get out of bed, but you all,
I'm like, half the time I get up out of the bed and I'm just like, coffee.
That's like one of the first things I do.
So, if you're like me, you can do it after you get your cup of coffee,
but to pray it over yourself, whatever works for you.
But just to pray that morning kind of connection, this is what it says.
Before getting out of bed, place your hand on your heart and ask,
Holy Spirit, what am I trying to control today that belongs to you?
Then speak it out, whatever it is. I surrender my need to control,
I'll say it, my daughter Michaela's relationship today.
I just give that to you, Lord.
And then in the evening before we go to sleep, same kind of hand on heart posture.
Y'all, this is something I don't know if it's just when I was a baby
and I would rock and people would hold me.
I don't know why, but I just feel so close to the Lord when I put my hand on my heart.
I do it in worship all the time.
I do it when I pray sometimes and a lot of times I'll activate people
because there's just this connection point, right?
That's what I think of.
So, if that helps you all know why I always say,
hey, put your hand on your heart, that's why I do that.
But same kind of heart posture, it's like that connection point.
Lord, what did I pick back up today that I had already given to you?
Then resurrender it.
Jesus, I place this, I place the financial debt of the church back in your hands.
We're actually not really in massive debt.
We're about to take on the loan.
But Lord, I just give it to you before we even have it.
He knows how that's going to work out and I don't need to stress about it.
We need to be wise stewards of it and of this beautiful building
that we're putting back together for his kingdom.
But that's his church.
That's his building.
We just get to steward it.
I'm just being honest with you all.
These are things that weigh on us.
That's one of the things that weighs on me
and all the people that are going to be blessed if we finish this work.
Right now, it's just a building we're finishing.
There's so much more to come.
Yours might be something totally different,
but I'm just using those as examples to help you.
So make sure you're taking some time.
You know, and again, in our busy society, we're all, myself included,
we're like rushing from one thing to another to another.
Sometimes we're doing three things at once and the Lord is just like,
hey, slow down.
Your heart matters.
Connecting with yourself matters.
Resting matters.
Okay, so now we're going to open it up for coaching.
So this is how, for those of you that are new, this is how I like to do it.
Y'all can raise your hand if you're willing to share with the whole group
what you shared in the private group.
And then I tend to, if I feel led, I'll coach y'all on stuff if you need help coaching.
If you just feel led to share tonight and you're just like,
hey, I just want to share real quick, cool.
But sometimes I tend to get really excited and then I think of other things to say
and then we'll have a good old time.
All right, Karen, I would love to hear what you have to say.
Yes, I kind of shared a little bit in the group,
but I feel like this is like the biggest revealing for healing
that I've experienced since being in the room.
So I attended last week for the first time a morning session of heart check-in with,
is it Andrea?
Yes.
And I found that I was sharing the same thing I had shared with you
a couple weeks ago, but I didn't realize until after I had shared it
about giving money to my family in the Philippines.
And I'm like, you know, God, why is this really bothering me?
Like what is going on?
And he revealed to me an incident when I was going through my divorce.
And I had nowhere else to go, so I stayed with my parents,
but they had some investment properties in another city.
And I felt like I remember vividly
like my dad's saying like, you need to help us out.
So my school and my kids' school was in the city
where my parents lived, but I was having to go
like an hour out to the house where they lived.
And I just felt like there was so much rage
that came out of me that when it was revealed to me,
like I felt exploited, like it's like I felt obligated
that I had to help them out.
And I was in such a vulnerable state
of going through a divorce.
And then there was another incident around that time.
And I can't remember exactly the details,
but because my last name was still different than theirs,
they had me lie so they could receive this check.
And so I feel like it was also triggered by,
since my mom has passed,
I've been helping my dad with their properties.
And last year when I was helping him,
he made a comment to like the agent that was helping us.
Like, well, if I had money, I'd help my daughter out
or the person that was originally gonna buy
the condo from them.
The first offer she said,
she didn't have anyone to help her with the down payment.
And my dad made it sound like, oh, she needs money.
Oh, I'll give it to her.
Like, I just felt like so mad,
like here he's trying to look like a certain person
in front of others.
And I honestly was like, I'm gonna go confront him on this.
And then I'll share here later.
Like, I feel like I need to let him know.
Cause I feel like I've been so silenced
and manipulated where we were taught,
like keep everything to yourself.
And he makes it seem like we're having to,
it's like a joint agreement now with my siblings and him,
but it's still him controlling the situation
of how he wants to handle this.
I think because we're going to the Philippines
and he has land there.
And so the pressure's there where I feel like
I'm gonna explode when I'm over there
in frustration towards them, so.
These are such powerful connections.
And hopefully when I said that earlier,
I'm not saying you guys can't ever share the same thing
cause sometimes you need to, to make additional connections.
I'm just saying sometimes people will,
even a year later be saying the same kind of thing,
exactly the same way.
This is totally different.
Like, even though you're sharing about that,
you've had this whole new layer
that's been revealed to you.
Do you see the difference there?
Yeah.
So I just want to make sure you understood that part.
Something really important that I want to draw out of this,
and I understand why you said it, okay?
So I want to preface that, and a lot of us do it.
I've done it too.
First, let me ask a discovery question
before I actually say what I was going to say.
When you lied for your parents,
when they asked you to lie for them, how old were you?
I was 21.
Okay.
You were 21.
Was this when you were going through your divorce,
did you say, when that was happening?
Okay.
So you were in that kind of vulnerable state
when that happened as well, right?
Okay.
So the way that you said it,
and again, out of our heart
is how our mouth is going to speak, okay?
You said, they made me lie for them, okay?
So what I want to kind of draw out for everybody,
and I'm not saying they didn't put a lot of pressure on you
and that you weren't in a very difficult situation,
but when we say they made me,
we make those people in power over us.
And we might've felt like that in the situation,
even though we're an adult at that,
because you were 21 at that age, very young still,
very influential, like being easily influenced at that age,
most of us.
And so that isn't to make you feel bad at all,
because we didn't know what we didn't know
back whenever we made decisions that we made.
I said very similar things about my ex-husband
for a long time.
He made me, you know, lose my house.
Now, some of that I couldn't control
because he was hiding so many things.
But when we give people that power by saying,
they made me feel this way, they made me do this,
but we did actually have a choice,
those are the kinds of things
that cause us to not trust ourselves.
Does that make sense?
And so when we reframe it,
that's all I wanna encourage you to do.
I want you to really consider how you frame this,
even as you maybe talk to your dad at some point.
I want you to own how you felt, okay?
So dad,
add, and I'm just going to give this as an idea. When you asked
me to lie for you, and pressured me or whatever the dynamic was,
I felt like I had to do it. You know, or I felt angry that you
even asked me to lie for you know, again, you get to say
whatever the feelings were, but owning your feelings and
expressing how you felt and letting him know that that is
not a boundary you want to cross again in the future is going to
be really important to your healing process. Okay. And so
for anybody, you know, we have to really look at what we don't
have to we get to choose to look at where do we give other
people ownership of our decisions? Where are we giving
other people control over us because of us and then that
makes us the victim. Okay, now again, they were your parents
and I'm sure just even culturally, I didn't grow up in
the Philippines. But I do know just my my girls, their
grandmother and their mom are originally from Indonesia. I
know I've heard a lot of stuff that like their grandma and
their mom went through. And so I understand it's a lot different
even than in the US. And, you know, but there's still a lot of
not good stuff that happens here. And so I just want to say
like, I don't know what it was like for you when you were going
through that. And I'm really sorry that your parents put you
in the position even at 21 and asked you to lie for them. That
just wasn't very kind. And I want to support you in that. And
so I'm glad this is coming up. I'm glad that you're piecing
this together, and that you're recognizing the anger that you
feel that is such a good start. Because you're owning that feel
the feel so that we can God can heal the fields. This is the
beginning of all of this kind of coming out so that you can
really pray about what you want to say when you do talk to your
dad. Because if I'm understanding correctly, you do
feel like to talk to him.
Yes. And I think it helped to I think someone in the community
post about in or you talked address and measurement. And I
also watched the video soul ties and seeing how those things I
and then Andrea also mentioned codependency my how that has
happened in my relationship with my dad and wanting it to be
different and knowing how now do I do this? And why do it versus
I want to take control this or I want to do this and kind of go
to him with it.
Yes. And you know, it I was I was watching a show. I sounds
like that's my like thing tonight. I was talking to
someone and I was watching a show. But legit, it makes me
think of this. We were my husband and I like to watch
SWAT. And, and so we were watching that. And this one
scene, one of the guys in the show, his mom when he was
younger, really manipulated him and encouraged him to call his
dad into the room. His dad was really abusive guy. And the boy
called the dad into the room and then the mom shot him. But the
way the mom twisted it was that she saved him. She did it all
for him. And so she would use that to like, manipulate him and
control him. And I'm not saying it's the same at all. But I'm
bringing that up because the reality is, is some of us,
unfortunately, our parents did twist things and communicate
them to us in a way that as young children, or even young
adults, we felt powerless to their control. And so I just
kind of want to circle back to kind of what I started with and
and really support you. In the fact that you you, it sounds
like you did lie for them and, and that God saw you in that
moment. And no, like, He knows everything that you felt. And He
wants to come into that moment with you and heal Karen at 21
that felt all of whatever it is that you felt. And so I want to
encourage you this week to spend some time with the Lord regarding
that, even as you pray into what to say to your dad, and, and
when to say it and all of that. But just to really allow Jesus
to come into those moments and heal you there. Because He
wants to take and lift that burden off of you so that when
you talk to your dad, you might still feel upset. But I, I
believe the Lord wants to take the rage out of it. Does that
make sense? Like the stinger? He wants to take the stinger out.
Yeah.
You know, when stuff stings us, when it's deep in there, no matter how much we don't want it
to get triggered when we're trying to communicate to someone, most times it will. And so allowing
God to heal that and kind of remove that deep pain out of there as much as possible will be a really
good thing before you try to have a conversation. Especially if the person, remember too, as you
talk to your dad, he may not be open to change, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't communicate.
Okay. Yeah. Yeah. We'll be praying for you. I can't wait to hear how this continues to go.
And I just feel excited for you as you're learning how to come out of enmeshment and kind of all
those lines being blurred and, and really gain confidence in your voice and who you are. Yeah.
It's pretty exciting stuff. Thank you for sharing that with us. Appreciate you. Tatiana, go ahead.
I have a quick little share before I start. A while back you had challenged me to like really
get like, just kind of plug into community. And I've really been starting to get closer with my
siblings and we went squishy hunting the other day. It's like a trend where you just go to
different stores and buy different squishies. So I have like a bunch of little like needles
right here I've been fidgeting with, but it's been really good. I've been definitely growing
in that aspect. But the thing that was put on my heart and I rolled my eyes at it when God
like brought it up, but I have two jobs and at one of my jobs, there's a coworker I have who she's
significantly older than me. And I just, I do not like her. We've had a few like incidents and I've
had to like report her because there's just been different things where it kind of just felt like
she was making a big deal out of nothing. And I just like, I've, I just don't like her. And I feel
like I don't know how to navigate the relationship with her because like, I don't have to see,
like, I don't see her every single time I go to work, but it's like, she'll do something.
Like she'll talk to me like as if I'm stupid or she'll make a big deal out of nothing or
I don't know, like, honestly, anyone. Yeah. Like the struggles I've had with my dad.
And I think that's why, like, yeah, that's why I think it it's so hard to work with her, but it's
like, she'll do things and it'll make me mad. Oh, no, I will feel mad. I will feel mad. And then
like the next time she sees me, she wants to act like we're cool and like nothing happened. And
that's the thing that gets to me the most. And that's why I'm like, I don't even want to like
work with you. I don't want to see you because it's like, you think it's okay to just do these
things and then act like, I don't know, like, it's okay. And it's like, it's not okay. Like,
like that made me upset that made other people upset. And yeah, and it's like,
like other people that work knows she's hard to work with. And like, even when I had to report
her, like, I wasn't going to do that at first, but I was talking to my boss about what happened.
And he's like, I need you to write all this down. And like, so I can like figure this situation out.
So I know like, I'm not, I'm not like making a big deal out of nothing like,
yeah, but still, I'm like, I, I don't know how to navigate it. Because it's like, I don't even want
to see her. Yeah.
I wish this was an easy one. You know, unfortunately, there's going to be times where
we just somebody is going to rub us the wrong way. And oftentimes, it is because they remind us of
someone else, and the way that someone else treated us. And so healing, just healing more
is a huge thing. But one of the things I will say, you might not love this answer. But
this is this is honestly what I thought of.
The times that I have felt that way about people, typically, when I pray for them,
it might not change the situation and the physical, but what happens is my heart starts to
change. And so the reality is, is that hurt people hurt people doesn't make it okay. Doesn't
mean you you have to be a part of her coming to know the Lord or any of that. Maybe that will
happen one day. I don't know. But like, it's not your responsibility. But I feel like the reason I
want to mention to you just to pray for her is because I do think it's going to change your heart
regarding her. And so I would encourage you to ask the Lord, even like,
Lord, what should I pray for her about? Because
Here's the one thing I do know when I've done those things, when I'm, when I've not just allowed that spirit, because it's a spirit, it's a spirit working behind those people, um, where there's that similar, like you said, they'll talk to me like I'm stupid.
And as soon as you said that, I'm like, I wonder if this reminds her of her dad.
That's literally the thought I had.
Um, but it's a spirit, it's a spirit working behind those people, trying to get in there and trigger you and get those trauma points.
Um, but what I was going to say is when I have prayed for those people, what I have found is that the spirit of the enemy that's at work there loses power.
He loses power.
And so it will be gone for a while.
And then what will happen typically is it'll pop back up somewhere else later on if my heart's not healed yet in that area.
And so, um, for now, pray for her, see what God does there.
Um, you know, I think praying up and putting on your armor before you go to work is going to be really important too.
And I'm not saying all these things are just going to make that go away.
I'm just saying it will, I believe, help you respond and not react to her and not get tripped up, you know, by the tactics of the enemy.
Um, and when we, um, pray the Lord's prayer, you know, one of the things in the Lord's prayer is, um, you know, what does it say?
Um, you know, forgive our debtors, right?
Uh, shoot.
Gosh, I'm drawing a blank right now.
I want to say it, um, forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.
I think that's how it says it.
I had to really think about that.
I'm losing my brain power.
It's like nine 17 here.
You all it's getting late, but even me, like with my girl's dad, that's what it makes me think of.
Like he just used it.
Like once we were, we were at war, which was like five years of the six year dating, truly, probably even longer than that.
Um, just always triggered around him.
Like he would always do like the enemy would just always use them to push every button possible.
And I just found that like praying released all of the, the, the control.
And I just got more and more free and I started overcoming and then I was able to, um, really just kind of laugh at this stuff.
Honestly, not laughing him, not, you don't want to laugh in someone's face when they're acting like that.
But just like, I just kind of like, this is just like, Satan, this just doesn't work anymore.
I just remember literally getting like, to that point in my heart, like the last time he cheated on me and you all, I'm not kidding.
I was like, it is over.
I am done with this.
I'm done with you.
I, this, no, I like, I'm not doing this anymore.
And he started crying, sobbing like a baby, which is what he did every time.
And I just like kind of laughed and I was like, no, I was like, stop that right now.
I was like, I was like, I'm not changing my mind.
And that isn't going to work this time.
Like, I just like, I had hit this point where it no longer controlled me.
And I just was like, this is just a little baby double spirit trying to work through him.
And I'm, I'm just, this is silly.
I'm over this.
And it just like all of the control, all of the frustration, all of that stuff was just like gone.
And I had authority over that thing.
Does that make sense?
Yeah, but it, it took, took a long time now.
I hope that will work really speedy for you in this situation.
You know, I don't want y'all having to work five years at this stuff, but you know, I think every step that I took in the process, I just got stronger and stronger and I got more wisdom and I got more understanding of like my authority in Christ.
Even when people were just, I mean, that to me, she just, that's just the enemy trying to stir up trouble for no reason.
Right.
So pray before you go and pray for her.
Those are my two main things for tonight.
And if, you know, if I get more revelation on it, I'll try to share something else with y'all later, but those are two, I feel like really good ways.
We can pray for our enemies and those who spitefully use us, you know, or mistreat us in any way.
Yeah.
Okay.
Thank you for.
Sharing, keep us posted.
And I love that you're getting into community
and you're really kind of intentionally working that.
That's awesome.
Yeah, it's so good to see you.
Tara, go ahead.
Yeah, I just wanna thank you for sharing what you did
earlier in the call about the six years
and fertile years and those kinds of things.
I started phase one in October of last year.
I am back to complete phase one.
I fell off the bandwagon.
No, there were some very serious life situations
that occurred that required me to devote,
divert attention to those things,
but I'm back with full focus.
And I found it very timely what you shared specifically
in my entry back in.
It's actually something that I've been reflecting on myself,
like over the last couple of months specifically.
I went through a broken engagement in 2013
and this person was a friend for 13 years,
a very avoidant attachment style in him.
And I waited 13 years for him to choose me.
I felt like he had, he proposed to me.
And then about six weeks later disappeared.
It was excruciating.
I was one of the people that grew up
in the I kiss dating goodbye kind of culture
and then you kiss marriage goodbye.
And so I felt like I had waited all this time
for this one guy thinking he was the one
and loved him dearly,
but then got just the shock of my life when he disappeared.
I felt like I'd lost my past, present
and future at the same time.
And I waited, I know ladies, it's embarrassing.
I waited two more years for him to come back.
So he got two more years.
And so one of the things that I've been processing recently,
I mean, obviously since 2013, I've obtained a lot of healing
I'm not the same person I was in 2013 or 20,
or I guess it was like 1999 when I met him.
I've always had a very intimate relationship with the Lord
and obedience is one of the ways that I've always,
one of my top ways of demonstrating my love for him.
Obedience at all costs.
And I can honestly tell y'all, I never felt God say no.
I never got warnings.
My community around me weren't saying,
with the exception of a few
that I'd actually didn't fully trust,
but the majority of my community,
nobody was saying anything to get me to,
all I'm gonna say, I wasn't rebelling against my community
or people around me.
I will say the community around me in the last 10 years
is way healthier than the community I drew to myself
in those times when I first met him and all of that.
So it's like, I recognize now that I had agency.
I didn't know I had.
Yeah.
And I'm dealing with sometimes the grief
in the reality that I chose to stay
and that it robbed me of the very things
that God put in my heart very early on in my life.
Yeah.
And I realized that I have some responsibility
for the delay or for,
while at the same time,
I just so wish
that 2026 Tara and even 2015 Tara could have been in 1999 Tara because I think
my life would have looked completely different and so that's part of my
surrender is saying God I am NOT just a woman who is abandoned yes that's where
I was a victim to something but I have also I chose to stay in a friendship
always longing always hoping and but also knowing I never felt like I was
disobeying God I never felt like I didn't have community it's like I just
didn't know how broken I was that I thought that that was what I was worth I
didn't know better and so in this season in the last couple months of
just having some of this epiphany that I had agency and some responsibility in
this I cry out to God and just say I sure hope when you spoke to me about my
daughter and marriage and family when I was just a little girl and when I was in
seventh grade you made accommodations for my brokenness and my idiocy and
since 2013 I've been on two blind dates and that's it I didn't date pretty much
in my 30s and I turned 50 in December and so I feel like I had lots of
different cards stacked against me with the purity culture and I kissed dating
goodbye and all that and then I had this guy I was completely loyal to that did
not deserve my loyalty and God got me out of that loyalty yeah for a reason
and a purpose but I guess all that to say what would you tell someone like me
well first I'm gonna tell you something I heard the Lord say while you were
talking I heard him say that vindication will come and what I mean by that is
that hmm what was stolen is gonna be given back to you okay it doesn't always
come in the sense of years okay but God is I don't know if you heard Jackie
talking in on Saturday for the supernatural Saturday but one of the
things she was talking about sick it sure does feel like time is going faster
I agree with her it does feel but what's really interesting is that I also know
that there is like time is not the same to God and that he can go into our
timelines and heal stuff and you know bring restitution and reconciliation and
like all this all this re stuff that we were waiting you know 13 20 years for
right okay I'm gonna use your life yeah and it can turn into like in a moment I
know it might be hard to imagine it right now Tara but that there will come
a day where the pain that you feel now will no longer exist and you will be
experiencing the fullness of God's promises for you whoo thank you Lord
it will be like okay Lord I can feel you doing this thing in me and you're
redeeming all of those things and you know cuz I remember even like when I
met Brian like and just you know we've been married almost four years and we
dated for a year and so we've been together almost five years now and like
sometimes I look at like my memories that pop up on Facebook you guys all
have them right and you like I look at even just one popped up the one day it
didn't have a picture of their dad in it but just it was a reminder of something
it was this dog that it was actually the girl's dog but I loved him
like mine and I had to leave him when I left that relationship and there were
all these little photos of him and it just kind of broke my heart when I saw
it the other day but just when I looked at the years of how long ago that was
but it feels literally I'm not kidding like a moment like it literally feels
like those years did not take that long I don't know how else to explain it
other than that and so I do believe that God will do that in you he did it
in me and I was married for 12 years before I was in another relationship for
almost two years and then the relationship with their dad for six
years so I definitely I definitely had some years that I felt were wasted too
but I just want you to know like I love my life now am I saying everything is
perfect all the time and easy no because people exist we exist and the
world and the enemy is you know he's busy but praise God God is is doing way
more than the devil is doing and so I just want you to know like I like I
truly have been living the best years of my life the last five years and it it
truly feels like my former life like wasn't even my life like I know that
those things all happened but it's like God picked me up it's almost if you
think of a train track and there's a track here and this is where I was on
but like it's almost like God picked me up and he put me on a new set of tracks
and he's helping me create my life on that new set of tracks and that life
includes Brian and our family and our destiny and the pain that I thought was
never gonna leave like I just literally I can't like I am still kind of like how
you said sometimes I am kind of like oh I'm embarrassed it took me that long but
I don't feel the pain and that where I felt pain in the embarrassment before
and I wouldn't even say I feel embarrassed really because the reality
is is I mean I didn't know what I didn't know either and I was doing the
best that I could and so the the last thing I want to say to you Tara for
tonight because there's I honestly I would love to unpack this more with you
in the group if you'll just create a post and and kind of you don't have to
share the whole thing you share tonight but I would like to just work with you a
little bit more on this than I have time for tonight but the other thing that
comes to me is that I really want to encourage you to forgive yourself and
just really extend grace to yourself because you know what you deserve it you
deserve it because God says you're worthy of it not because of you did
something right or did something wrong but just God loves you so much and he
doesn't want you to feel this deep shame and regret and all the things and
he wants you to know it is gonna be okay and like what I started with vindication
I just want you to remember that vindication is gonna come it will come
that's what he said so that means he's gonna make the devil not just pay you
back but he's gonna make him pay you back and then some Job everything that
he lost he didn't just get that back he got double double so I don't know what
that means for your life I don't know how the babies are gonna come but I
trust that our God is good and he knows what you need and what's gonna bless you
and make all things right that makes sense it does it provides a hope and
there's certainly a part of me that believes those things but I think
there's also that duality where I also carry that shame and that guilt of not
knowing enough not I'd like to talk through when you do the post in the
group for me I'd like to talk through the obedience factor a little bit with
you okay because even myself like I shared briefly earlier and again I don't
want to go into too far tonight but I really did think that God brought him to
me girls dad I really did and so for a while I was like well wait a minute God
I thought I was hearing you right I did oh if I wasn't hearing you well then do
I hear from you like I started questioning all of that stuff and so I
think that you and I kind of chatting through that obedience factor
a little bit more will be a really good thing.
When you say the group, what do you mean?
So yeah, if you go into the last year single app
in the heartwork, if you click on the community tab
and just create a post in there,
make sure that-
And just say, Bethany, this is what we-
Yeah, just tag me in it.
And if I, the ladies, my team knows now,
if they see my name on something,
they just let me know if I don't see it
and haven't responded yet, they're kind of helping me
just because I do work in all of our groups.
And so my team has my back
and is trying to help me make sure I don't miss anything.
And so if you just do a post,
you can just say, Bethany,
responding to what you asked me to post about.
And they'll, I probably will see it too,
but if not, they'll make sure I see it.
Okay.
All right, looking forward to it.
Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable
and letting us be here with you tonight in that.
So proud of you for that.
Yeah, you're welcome.
Trina, go ahead.
Oh my goodness, Tara.
I'm like completely.
Yeah, I went through a breakup a month ago
and I just feel like I've just been ruminating
for like every day and it's disgusting.
And I'm like, Lord, but I trust you.
And I put it on the Jesus Cares board,
but I still like want to fix it myself
and just throw myself into the heart work
and throw myself into this work
and throw myself into Bible study.
And maybe I'll hear you then.
But I was thinking in the group,
like I don't even leave time to hear God
because I'm trying to fill it
because I'm so scared of the silence.
And also I'll piggyback both of you saying
I felt like I heard God say, stay.
And so I'm confused by that and thrown by that.
And I'm like, Lord, I'm gonna let you figure this out,
but I'm not letting you figure this out.
So I don't wanna do it anymore.
And at some point you gotta step out and find out, right?
But meaning you could wait forever to say,
oh, that was from the Lord and now it's time to move on.
And he's telling me that,
but also sometimes I feel like you have to play your part.
So I'm just, that's,
it's the divide of what do I have to do?
What does he have to do?
Yes, I will tell you,
not to confuse all the things I've already shared,
but in that process for me,
I genuinely did hear God ask me to stay,
but I really resonated with Hosea
and I really struggled with,
God, why would you ask me to stay in that?
Now, knowing what I know
after having gone through the heart work
and having gone through this process,
I wonder if I would hear God the same,
you know, now, like I did back then.
But one thing I do know is that
I really do think that the way that I handle things,
even on the exit of that relationship,
and even when he tried to manipulate things with the girls,
like I've always been in their life since I started dating.
I'm like, I'm still active in their life now.
They were in our wedding
and he would always try to manipulate things.
And I just would rise above, rise above, rise above.
And I just feel like I may not know fully
how God is using all of that until I get to heaven, okay?
But I do think that I have always had a tendency
to stay too, like in the past, stay too long, okay?
Try to love them until they get better.
But here's the thing on the front end.
I would pick people that needed help,
that were what I, like,
and I don't mean this in a condescending way,
but were broken.
And because I was broken, it like, I felt needed
and like I could help fix them.
But I didn't know that that's part of why I was picking them
and I didn't know that they were picking me
a lot of times to hide behind my good nature
and my relationship with the Lord.
Like I was a good front for them
because they could pretend and live this double life
and be somebody entirely different behind the scenes
than who they really were
and they could hide behind who I was.
And so there was a lot of like narcissistic tendencies
and sociopathic stuff going on in those relationships.
But
Again, all that to say, I do think I heard from the Lord, but I also know now and see
when I look backwards, there were times where there were flags that were red and I was not
listening to them.
But because I didn't listen to them, God was trying to meet me in the middle of that and
give me hope and encourage me.
And I think that's why I felt called to be Hosea.
I think it's because God was trying to give me the hope in the middle of it until, because
I remember one day God showed me the reality is that Hosea even felt led to let go and
go walk the other way.
And I remember when God gave me that revelation, I was like, Oh, well, God, when is it okay
to go?
And then I started praying like that and then it wasn't long before it was time to let go.
So again, I think what was informing me were the thoughts of like growing up in an abusive
home.
My dad was an alcoholic and drug addict, you know, a lot of sexual abuse, like just a lot
of things that taught me, um, things that caused me to believe that it was my responsibility
to help people heal.
Does that make sense?
And help them become the person that God called them to be.
And it was my responsibility versus I'm a vessel that God can work through when he wants
to, but it's not my job to fix that person.
It's not my job to bring them closer to the Lord.
That's their job.
That's the Lord's job in them.
Now I can be a vessel and even be here to bless your all's lives, but your journey and
your choices and your path, that's up to you all to see back in the day, I would feel
so much responsibility for people.
And so I don't know if that's helpful, but I, in the busy, busy, busy too, I think it's
important to address that.
I'm going to encourage you.
I haven't given this assignment out for a while, so I hope you're ready.
I don't even know if you're a TV watcher like me, but I'm going to encourage you to
intentionally create silence.
So watch less TV, scroll less on social media, literally create white space in your calendar.
And it's going to feel probably painful at first when you first start doing it.
But what will happen as you intentionally invest in this, it's going to create this
ability potentially for you to feel things you haven't felt in a long time.
And that might feel scary even when that happens, but just keep talking to us in the group through
it.
We're going to be here to coach you through it.
And I had the last lady, I promise this is the hope side of this.
This is the good side of, of if you choose to accept this challenge, the last person
I gave this assignment to, she went for it.
She went for it.
And it was like during a really like busy, fun, you know, like holiday, like all the
fun, really cool stuffs on TV, like the, like the little like romantic things and all that.
Those are things I think are cool.
I like all different kinds of movies, but just, it was like a thing that she really
knew she had to sacrifice it.
That makes sense.
You all, she literally moved her TV out of her bedroom, like she just followed the Lord
in it.
It wasn't me telling her to do all that.
I just said, Hey, consider this, you know, pray into this.
I would encourage you to like, really like pull back on how much noise is in your life.
She felt led to move her TV out of her bedroom.
She literally for three months went all in.
I'm telling you what, she heard the Lord, like she hadn't heard him in a long time.
She got delivered from stuff like pretty radically, um, and had a lot of fun doing it.
She did not feel a bunch of pain after that, like that first, like week, it was hard for
her for her the first week, but she really started feeling and embracing what was happening
in her in that process.
So I don't know how it will turn out for you if you accept that challenge, but I just feel
like even if, okay, if it feels too big, how many things I said, just pick one.
Honestly, I don't watch TV and for me, it's the endlessly trying to find the answer and
putting myself in all of this work and the Bible studies and you know, another method
and therapy.
And it's like, put on all the help work that you possibly can.
So you fix it immediately.
So how did you do that?
Alright, so can you quit the Bible study?
I could.
Okay.
I would encourage you to make this group the only thing that you do.
Now don't remove yourself from counseling necessarily if there's someone you're working
with consistently, but we have asked people to really consider doing that where you all
aren't trying to read other books during this time that you really hone in on just the core
coursework in the book and journaling and reading your Bible.
Like just you and Jesus, but not even letting that be like a religious, like I have to pray
and not that you're like this, but pray and read a large amount of time.
Okay.
But, um, you know, letting your friends just know like, Hey, I'm realizing that I tend
to fill myself with a lot of trying to find the answers, including Bible study.
And I just really need to pull back just for this, you know, whether it's, you know,
for you five weeks or a little bit longer, whatever your process will look like, but
just where you really just let yourself just be in this place right here and give yourself
permission to do it.
And if you feel the tendency to go look for more answers, you can come in the group and
say, Hey, I'm feeling like I'm struggling.
I'm wanting to figure it all out.
I'm wanting to connect to the dots faster.
So I'm feeling led to search this or search, like, just come in and be accountable to us
and, and like, let us remind you like, Hey, remember, God's got you like he has the answers.
He has the answers that you need.
And I can relate to you.
It's interesting.
You, you would not know this, but I went to my chiropractor today and she asked me a very
similar question about some health things I was sharing with her.
Cause for a year now, I've been trying to find the answer to this physical stuff I've
been going through.
Cause I'm like, what is going on?
And I've been trying all different kinds of things and looking for all.
And she said, maybe that's part of the problem now, you know?
So I think let's practice making some white space in your, in your mind.
And then like, in your heart.
Thank you.
TV isn't a struggle.
Yeah.
And let us know again, you know, I, again, I, I will put these things out there for you
all.
It's up to you.
I'm not saying you have to do it or that like, Hey, 100% God is saying this.
I'm saying to you, Hey, pray about this, consider doing this, and then you got to make the decision
from there.
And again, this is about you trusting the Lord and yourself and growing in that as you
go.
Okay.
And so if you decide to stay in that group, please don't feel bad saying so, you know,
you got to figure that stuff out for yourself, but let us know how it goes.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Awesome.
I do want to say to anyone, it's 9 48.
So I'm going to let Lisa and Alina go tonight because they've been waiting really patiently.
And I don't want to not have them have an opportunity.
But if you need to log off, we totally understand.
All right, Lisa, go ahead.
Okay.
Well, mine is super quick.
I decided to take you up on your offer of like, even if it's a quick share to join in
to pipe up.
So, or pipe in, however that said, yeah.
So it was interesting when we went into the breakout session, the first thing that came
to my mind just even before going, like it just, I was like, God, what do I need to surrender?
Like, what do you, you know, I forgot the word he used, but anyway and it was finances.
And I was like, oh, this makes so much sense because I've been trying to take that into
control like my whole life, you know?
And so what was interesting is right before getting on the call tonight, I had driven
to this cafe a couple minutes from my house to prepare for an interview, even though I
don't have an interview coming yet, you know, that I know of.
I just want to be ready.
And it's something that I can tell I've been going through this like procrastination because
I'm scared.
It's, I'm totally scared.
And so, and I live alone.
And so sometimes if I'm just in my house for too long, like I'll just do all these other
things, you know, clean the house, whatever.
And so I was like, okay, I'm getting to that cafe.
I don't care if they close in 45 minutes, I'm going to sit down and, you know, prep
my questions.
And so what was interesting was when I came home to be on the call is I actually felt
really encouraged with my answers and I felt a lot more prepared.
And when I got in my car, I literally started singing some random tune and all I get all.
It was my own song and I just kept saying, the money is coming.
The money is coming.
The money is coming all the way.
It's only two minutes, but I didn't stop and I was just like, cause I felt my spirit.
I was like, it's coming, Lisa.
It's coming.
Yeah.
You know?
So that was like a big shift.
So, but it's interesting because then I got on the call and then the Lord's saying surrender
about the finances.
You know what I mean?
So it's kind of like this, uh, you know, it was probably a moment.
I don't want to call it that.
No, I'm claiming this is how I'm going to think in the future is just like, it's coming
melody.
I think a divine melody coming up in your spirit.
I really do think that I was literally at my sermon that I'm going to preach in August
is on worship.
And one of the things that I'm going to ask people to consider is what is the melody of
their life?
What is the song that their life is singing right now?
And uh, like kind of connecting that with several scriptures about worship and just
all this stuff.
Because when you said, I don't think it's a coincidence that you said, I just started
singing this thing over and over.
And so I don't want you to think that because God is asking you to surrender finances, that
that makes that moment null and void.
Because I think there was something special happening there for you.
And just even seeing you talk about it, like there's a joy on you and in you just hearing
you.
Um, and that tap it, keeping, keep tapping into that because I think that's going to
be where the Lord's going to help you kind of in that surrender.
Like worship is surrender.
If you think about it, um, and so keep us posted.
I think this is definitely the most positive, like you're always positive, but I think this,
this feels like you're gaining freedom and traction in your share tonight, like what
you've shared.
I look forward to hearing what God is going to do in the days ahead in that.
Yeah, I'll definitely be sharing and I'm going to start posting more just so you know, I've
really been out of the loop for like two months.
It seems like I've just got, yeah, but I, it's on my radar, so I will be playing catch
up here.
Okay.
I look forward to it.
I know the other team members will too.
Thank you so much for sharing.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Alina, go ahead.
Hello.
Hi.
Um, I am recovering from head congestion, so I may sound a little groggy and, um, well,
I think, um, it's been a blessing to hear everyone's process cause I was gathering a
little bit from each one, um, reminding myself things I need to trust the Lord with or different
things, but I'm in this place where I let go of a relationship over and over and over
and over, um, throughout my whole thirties and I'm 40 this year and, uh, it's really
been heavy for me to be 40 and single and wasting my years, but anyways, I'm trying
to start over and I felt like God gave me an idea to do some ladies pampering health
and wellness workshops and I'm just not being able to jump into it fully excited cause I'm
still crying over the past.
Um, and I just moved into a nice new place, but I'm just dragging along and I'm just like,
what if I missed it and what if I'm not going to have kids and what if it's just, and I'm
trying to get myself excited about new possibilities and new things, but I'm just kind of like
in that between like letting the old go, seeing a new thing, trying to move forward with a
new thing.
I've had some quiet time where things were coming up, especially missing my ex and what
if I missed it and one and just try to just hop over that and feel like I overcame a lot
and felt like I felt like it came, I came to the conclusion that maybe that was an addiction
cause he went in circles, like broke up with him so many times that maybe I was just going
back to him whenever I have the tendency of like, Oh, I need him back in my life.
I don't know.
Yeah.
The Lord, you know, there's a book, not the Lord, a book, um, years ago, I don't even
remember what it was called, but one of the things that said was when we do the same thing
over and over again with that, with the same result and it isn't good, that's insanity.
Like when we do that.
You know, and I, the first time that I, I saw that quote, I remember it like, oh, I'm insane.
This isn't good. I mean, that's not exactly what it was saying, but you know, it, it, it is,
it can be like, gosh, why, why are we, why am I struggling with this thing over and over
and still in this loop? And so when you were talking Alina, one of the things I felt led to
encourage you in is, man, I think it's pretty exciting that you're in a new apartment.
I, I remember when you first came in, I remember how hard this has been for you to let go of this,
but you've done it. You're in a new apartment, you're taking steps forward.
So what I heard the Lord say was tell her to celebrate herself.
And I kept thinking of too, like when David, um, you know, when David was with Bathsheba
and the baby died, he was in sackcloth, he was grieving and he grieved until,
I can't remember exactly who came to him, but like, until they came to him and basically
encouraged him, um, to remove his sackcloth, uh, I think, and I don't know if I'm mixing
that up with another story. So I have to look that up tonight, but just, um, what was coming
to me is that I think part of the struggle is that sackcloth, like sometimes we, we get very
used to a cycle of, you know, kind of like you're saying where we keep taking the person back.
And then when it doesn't work out, then we grieve, we take them back. It doesn't work,
but then what it can do is it can get us caught in that grief cycle where that becomes actually
like habit for us to be in a state of grief and struggle to let go. Um, and, and really
feel uncomfortable being happy. And so practicing intentional celebration of yourself and just even
little things like, I'm not even saying you have to worry about the big victories right now.
I think that you need to get used to celebrating small wins. So for the next several weeks,
if you go in our, in our group, in the last year, single app, when you go to create a post,
there's inside of that post, there's three little tabs. It'll say all wins or ask a coach.
If you select the wins button, the little wins button and D select all and ask a coach,
it will literally only post under the wins tab. So when we go in there, we look at all the tabs,
but I want you just as a, as a measure of practicing, celebrating yourself.
Even like right now, I think it would be okay if every, whatever you can do every day,
every couple of days, just come in there, create a post and celebrate one or two wins,
one or two things that you're proud of yourself for. Maybe it's only one thing, you know, for a
few days, but where you're saying out loud by typing it to all of us, like this was my win for
the last few days and that you posted in the group and just get in that habit of celebrating yourself.
Maybe it's that you went for a walk that day. I'm just making things up. Maybe it's that you
bought something new for your apartment. Maybe it's that you
read a chapter in the heartwork book where you're celebrating yourself and your progress.
Because, you know, when, when we've been in cycles, like what you've been in,
we can be really down on ourselves for continuing to choose something that ended up not working out
for us. Kind of like what Tara was talking about earlier and what I've been talking about.
And so I do, I do want to hear more. So if you have other things to share,
you were going to share tonight. I just, I do have to end because we're going at 10 o'clock.
And I don't want you to feel that I don't care about what you have to say.
So I would love for you to share a post and just tell us some more updates and let the team
come around you. But really I want you to practice celebrating your wins. I think that's going to be
a game changer for you because even in the past, I know you would feel like you would worry that
your words didn't matter or that people didn't hear you. I just remember way back in the beginning.
And so I want you to know, like, you do matter. You have come a long way. Like I've been so excited
to see you back on, on the live sessions, like you showing up again, that you're kind of back
in the groove of doing the heartwork because I think you're, you're about to break through and
to break through and get past where in, in the past times you've been in here, where you would
maybe pull back and go backwards. I just have a feeling that's not going to happen this time,
but you just have to stay really connected to us. You have to let
this come keep coming alongside of you and cheering you on. I'm
so glad I have to strip off some other things because I did the
same thing like plug into everything I could. Yeah, yeah.
That's okay. It's now clicking like, Oh, I need to just zero
in. Yeah, just zeroing in on the heartwork and really let
yourself like your heart. I said it in our little reminder
tonight. What did I say? I said something about your heartwork
is the best investment you'll ever make, like truly ladies. So
you matter more than anything else. So we're going to end on
that note. I want all of y'all to remember that your heartwork
is the best investment you could ever make in your life. It no
matter what the spirit made is the cherry on top. There's going
to be so many other things you're going to get breakthrough
in, like Karen talking about this relationship with her dad
and the breakthroughs happening there. Lisa talking about
finances and, and, you know, Tatiana's, you know, connecting
with her family, like so many things can change you all. Let's
let's just keep staying in the game. God's got you. We're so
glad that you're here. I'm going to go ahead and pray us out
father. Thank you so much for this night. Thank you for
breakthroughs. Thank you for healing. Thank you for grace.
God, I pray that you just continue to wash over these
ladies with your love and tangible ways. I thank you for
your head to protection around them and their minds that you
would cover every pit that the enemy has set for their
destruction, that you would remove every pit of distraction,
reveal those things to them and help them just to stay in the
lane of heartwork and the freedom that you want to give
them. God, I thank you that you would help them to put
themselves first. And to know that you see them and you love
them and that you are working on their behalf even right now. In
Jesus name. Amen. Amen. God bless you all. We'll see you
guys in the group. Okay. Have a good night, everyone. Bye.