WEBVTT

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I know that passing by, life is good, best I've ever felt

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Get me up, somewhere new, somewhere I can find myself

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Oh, I feel, I feel, I feel, I feel so alive

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As I reach out, reach out, reach out, reach out to the sky

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I found my way, I found my way

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I was in the dark, I kissed it all, but made it through the day

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Cause I found my way, I found my way

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In bad times, I know I'll be okay

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Cause I found my way, found my way

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Cause I found my way, found my way

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Just because we did this work five weeks in a row

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Does not mean that it sucks any less

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But guess what?

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Your love story doesn't have to suck

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And that's why we're here

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And what I want you to do right now

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Is if you have something to write on

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We're going to jump right in

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Because we have a lot of ground to cover tonight

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I want you to write this sentence

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Five weeks ago, I believed this

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And now I believe that

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So two blanks

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Five weeks ago, I believed this

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And now I believe that

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Okay?

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So go ahead and do that real quick

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Take a second to go ahead and write that down

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What did you believe coming in here five weeks ago

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And now you believe something different

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Right?

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You believe something different

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So let's go ahead and do that real quick

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We'll do some hi, how are you's in a minute

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I just want to jump right in

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Because we have a lot to do tonight

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And I want to make sure that we get it all in

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There's 102 of you live here

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Which seems like a lot of people

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Until you remember there's 240 something of you

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That signed up

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That's right

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Only 102 of you made it to the end

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Come on, let's go

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Now for those of you that are going to be watching a replay

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And you've been faithful to watch all the sessions and replay

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Except for the session that was all breakouts

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Then good for you as well

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Good on you

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Proud of you

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All right

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Five weeks ago, I believed this

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Blank

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Now I believe that

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Go ahead and put your hand up when you're done

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All right

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All right

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We have quite a few hands up

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All right

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If you will

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If you will

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Put your hands down

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Go ahead and post in the chat, please

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Go ahead and post in the chat

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Tell us

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You believe this

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And now you believe that

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What do you got?

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Just the two words

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The first word is what you believed

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And the second word is what you now believe

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Five weeks ago

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I wasted a lot of time on a man

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And was scared to get back out there

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Because I don't know what I would do differently

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Now I feel like the next guy can be the guy

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I have new tools and friends and support

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I love that, Diana

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What a beautiful testimony

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Five weeks ago, I believed that it was mostly my fault

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That I was still single

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Now I believe that it's the system that is broken

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Come on, Charlotte

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Let's go

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Although I still have some work to do on myself

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Don't we all

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Don't we always

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Friends

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When you get in marriage

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That's when the real fun is going to begin

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That's where you're going to really

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You're going to really do some work when you get there

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Okay

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I believe that it would take forever

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For me to find a suitable mate

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Now I believe it can be sooner than I thought

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I love that, Kel Bell

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I believed it was hard

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And now I believe it can be done

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Believe it's not so hard.

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All right, Janine, we'll take it.

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A win's a win.

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A win is a win.

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It's hard to find really good.

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She believed it was hard to find really good,

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godly, committed men.

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Cheryl did not say what she believes now,

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just what she believed when she came in.

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So Cheryl, we need the other half of that, babe.

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I believed that I could do this journey without community.

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Now I know that's a lie.

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That is powerful.

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You guys, these are all powerful things

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that you have disengaged from,

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that you've disconnected from,

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that you have proven to be false,

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and you've replaced those things with some amazing truth,

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and I love this.

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I believed dating was gonna be scary.

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Now I feel peace.

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Teresa, that's incredible.

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Reluctant, I felt reluctant.

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Now I feel more hopeful.

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Lacey thought she missed her time.

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How many of you, raise your hand if you believed this,

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that I've missed my time.

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I missed the boat.

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The boat pulled out of the harbor without me,

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but now she believes my time is now.

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Come on, y'all.

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My time is now.

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Can I let you in on a little secret

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about the kingdom of God?

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For those of you that may not know a lot

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about the kingdom of God,

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that is that thing that Jesus came to earth

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to talk about, to demonstrate.

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There's no such thing as you missed your time.

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There's no such thing as that.

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It's about, do you want it?

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Do you still want it?

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Okay, you can have it.

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Now I'm not promising it would be the same version of it

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that you would have got when you were 22,

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or 32, or 42, or 52,

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but just because it's a different version of it,

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does it have to be less than?

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That's my question to you.

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Just because it's a different version of it,

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does it have to be less than?

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Does it have to be subpar?

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Does it have to be not as good?

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I wasn't my husband's first wife.

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Just because I wasn't his first wife,

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just because I wasn't his first love,

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just because he didn't meet me until he was 36 years old,

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does that mean that our love story has to be less than?

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Does it mean that it has to be not as good as?

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No, it's great, actually.

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It's powerful.

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It's wonderful.

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You know, nothing, no shade,

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no shade to his first wife,

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but my husband calls me the love of his life.

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You know why?

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Because I'm his wife, and I'm the love of his life,

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and there isn't been another love story like ours,

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because ours is the only one that's like it,

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because it's ours.

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Does it have to be less than?

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No.

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Maybe you're a widow or widower,

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and you're like, yeah, you know,

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I had an amazing love story, and now they're gone,

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and yeah, I'm just looking for a companion.

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I'm looking for a friend for the end of the world.

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Doesn't have to be less than.

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I don't care how amazing your mate was.

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God bless them.

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God, you know, not rest their soul.

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God invigorate their soul in heaven.

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I'm sure they're up to some shenanigans with Jesus.

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I'm sure they're doing something amazing

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on their next assignment,

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but you're still here on earth,

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and your love story, your next love story,

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this love story can be just as good.

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In fact, it could be a continuation.

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Different person, different assignment,

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but just as good, and building, and building,

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and building, and building, right?

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Okay.

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I was unlikely that I would be married again is the lie.

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Now I believe it's possible.

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Karen, that's amazing.

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Five weeks ago, I believe that my meeting my spirit mate

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was so complicated.

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Now I believe it could happen,

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and I can enjoy the process.

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You guys, I love these.

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They're so good.

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I believed I failed at dating,

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and now I believe the system is broken,

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and I have tools now.

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Lauren has tools.

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She's got the cheat codes.

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You guys, you have the cheat codes.

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I wanna let you know that this book is not random.

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This book is full of everything

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that I think a single person would need to know,

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and would need to do to be successful in the year 2026.

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Based on what?

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Based on field work.

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Based on the last six plus years

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as a dating coach and a matchmaker.

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Based on the last 20 something years as a matchmaker.

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You guys, I saw a video tonight before I hopped on

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that said there's this little town in Ireland,

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and if you guys wanna go buy a ticket to Ireland,

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every summer they have a matchmaking month

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where all kinds of people converge

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from all over Europe and even America

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on this little town in Ireland to meet their match,

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and this town has produced,

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and this is what it said on the video,

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thousands of marriages.

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You know what else has produced thousands of marriages,

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and you don't even need a plane ticket?

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Last year single.

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You don't even need a plane ticket.

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We've produced thousands of marriages as well.

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We've had over 1,600 people,

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probably closer to 2,000 people

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because we stopped counting at 1,600,

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get married through our program,

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through our matchmaking, through our coaching.

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through our help and guess what you don't even have to go to Ireland but if

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you want to go to Ireland then go to Ireland but at the same time I want to

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let you know I was really pretty amazed that their testimony is is that they

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spend a whole month every summer matchmaking in this town in Ireland and

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people come from all over the world and they still only have a few thousand

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marriages and I have that in my program right here little Jackie D and that last

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year single team in Austin Texas you guys know that we're based here but our

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success stories are from all over the world so I love it that made me feel

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really good online dating was a good idea is what she thought the way things

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are done nowadays now I believe that it's just one tool of many that's what

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Catherine says Catherine said I thought you know in this modern day this is

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really the only way to meet people this is the way but now I know that it's just

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one tool among many tools I was the one that thought that the I was the one that

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thought these things now I know a lot of people feel the same that's so beautiful

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amber saying I was the one that thought all of these things but now I'm in a

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whole community of people that feel the same way as I do so I know that I'm not

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alone five weeks ago I believed I didn't have the strength to break ties the

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long-term avoidant man who is not ready for a relationship now I believe I do

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and I have come on are you getting out of the situation ship Leslie we're

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cheering for you we are your own personal cheerleading corner you can do

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it you can do it you can do it we want we want an update on that five weeks ago

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I thought dating again would suck and I dreaded it now I'm excited and I feel

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ready modern dating was hard but now I know that my community will help me find

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my spirit mate five weeks ago I thought I was the problem on the apps now I know

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my non-negotiables and how to look for what I desire it's now time to put the

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knowledge into practice five weeks ago I didn't know what my non-negotiables were

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I thought I was thought-blocking on that that's awesome five weeks ago I believe

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that it would never happen but now I believe it is possible because I have

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met someone she's met someone y'all we're not even inks not even dry on the

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coaching it's already met someone look at that I believe there wasn't much hope

267
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in dating now I believe I have solid tools to move forward confidence now I

268
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believe there are good godly committed men out there and I'm ready to find him

269
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and help others too that's Cheryl that's her second half of Cheryl's she didn't

270
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think there was any good godly men left and now she believes that they're there

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and she believes that she can be found by one of them and she can also help

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others too five weeks ago I believed over functioning was helping me and now

273
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I know it could wreck my future marriage and I have to learn to let other people

274
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show up you guys this is beautiful this makes me literally want to tear up these

275
00:13:02.720 --> 00:13:07.520
are such great testimonies five weeks ago I believe that it was mostly my fault

276
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that I was still single now I believe it's the system that's broken okay I

277
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already read this one Jen's just saying me too Jen saying I wrote this same

278
00:13:15.320 --> 00:13:19.200
thing out too five weeks ago I believed I was afraid to get back on the dating

279
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apps now I believe through healing Christ and community I have the strength

280
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courage wisdom and self-love to move forward in dating for covenant marriage

281
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Jody said I believed I was ready now I know I'm not quite as ready as I thought

282
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but Jody you're gonna still do it afraid can I tell you guys something you're

283
00:13:36.160 --> 00:13:41.480
never gonna feel fully ready you're not you're not gonna feel fully ready and so

284
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here's my advice you have to fail forward fast as an entrepreneur that's

285
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the same kind of advice I give to business owners and people wanting to

286
00:13:50.760 --> 00:13:54.560
start businesses you're never gonna know what to tweak you're never gonna know

287
00:13:54.560 --> 00:13:58.920
what to work on you're never going to know where the problem still exists

288
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unless you go ahead and give it a shot but this is what I don't want you to do

289
00:14:03.840 --> 00:14:07.720
I don't want you to be out there dating blindly I don't you'd be dating in the

290
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dark I want you to be dating with witnesses but also with notes okay I

291
00:14:13.320 --> 00:14:17.520
want you to be dating with notes I want you to write down remember the dating

292
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autopsy that we did in week one I want you to be doing an autopsy on all of

293
00:14:22.920 --> 00:14:26.920
your dates from now on you're like Jackie that's a lot of work do you want

294
00:14:26.920 --> 00:14:32.600
to find out where the pattern is you might have you might have found the

295
00:14:32.640 --> 00:14:35.280
pattern in this book club but you're really gonna see it when you get back

296
00:14:35.280 --> 00:14:39.920
out there because now you have the tools to recognize it so I want you to do an

297
00:14:39.920 --> 00:14:44.560
autopsy I want you to ask yourself hey am I running a script here you know am I

298
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believing something about this that's not true okay we're gonna get into the

299
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structure tonight the structure that beats chaos we're gonna get into that

300
00:14:52.120 --> 00:14:55.560
tonight and talk more about what should you be doing when you you've met someone

301
00:14:55.560 --> 00:14:58.560
interesting that you want to get to know better what should you be doing for the

302
00:14:58.560 --> 00:15:01.960
first six the first 30 days

303
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:01.600
The first 60 days, the first 90 days,

304
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we're gonna talk about that.

305
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Let's see, Todd says,

306
00:15:04.960 --> 00:15:07.720
I thought it was my fault that I'm still single,

307
00:15:07.720 --> 00:15:10.140
but it's the lack of community in the village.

308
00:15:10.140 --> 00:15:11.960
It's all about strong Christian community.

309
00:15:11.960 --> 00:15:14.440
Yes, friends, it's all about family and community.

310
00:15:14.440 --> 00:15:15.280
And when I say family,

311
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I don't mean the family that you were born into,

312
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I mean the family of God.

313
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This entire life is about the family of God.

314
00:15:24.840 --> 00:15:27.640
It's about getting into proximity to people

315
00:15:27.640 --> 00:15:29.840
who have the solutions to your problems.

316
00:15:29.920 --> 00:15:31.160
Not just your love life.

317
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Can I meddle a little bit?

318
00:15:35.400 --> 00:15:36.280
Am I allowed to meddle?

319
00:15:36.280 --> 00:15:37.120
I'm gonna meddle.

320
00:15:38.880 --> 00:15:40.840
God has created us to prosper.

321
00:15:40.840 --> 00:15:42.920
And so if you've surrounded yourself by community

322
00:15:42.920 --> 00:15:46.480
that's not prospering, you're not in the right community.

323
00:15:46.480 --> 00:15:47.920
In their health, in their wealth,

324
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in their attitudes, in their relationships.

325
00:15:50.880 --> 00:15:52.240
I don't care if you go to a church

326
00:15:52.240 --> 00:15:53.860
that's like us four and no more.

327
00:15:53.860 --> 00:15:55.160
All right, you need to get out of there.

328
00:15:55.160 --> 00:15:57.320
It needs to be us three, let it be.

329
00:15:57.320 --> 00:15:58.840
All right, just the three of them,

330
00:15:58.840 --> 00:16:00.440
because you're the fourth and you left.

331
00:16:00.440 --> 00:16:01.260
You're out the door.

332
00:16:01.260 --> 00:16:02.840
Four is out the door.

333
00:16:02.840 --> 00:16:05.120
That's because you're not growing there.

334
00:16:05.120 --> 00:16:08.360
If you're not growing, then you're not in the right place.

335
00:16:08.360 --> 00:16:10.480
If you've been going to the same spiritual community

336
00:16:10.480 --> 00:16:12.400
and you've been being fed by the word of God

337
00:16:12.400 --> 00:16:16.440
and you're still broke and sick and lonely after 20 years,

338
00:16:16.440 --> 00:16:18.680
then you're not in the right place.

339
00:16:18.680 --> 00:16:20.800
Now, is it their responsibility

340
00:16:21.760 --> 00:16:24.560
for you to change your life, to take action,

341
00:16:24.560 --> 00:16:27.060
to not let faith be dead?

342
00:16:27.060 --> 00:16:28.140
Dead religion?

343
00:16:28.140 --> 00:16:29.940
Faith without action is dead religion?

344
00:16:29.940 --> 00:16:32.580
No, but if you're surrounded by people

345
00:16:32.580 --> 00:16:34.340
that have the same problems as you,

346
00:16:35.380 --> 00:16:38.940
you're all sitting there together with the same problems,

347
00:16:38.940 --> 00:16:41.260
little crabs in the bucket, keep pulling each other down,

348
00:16:41.260 --> 00:16:42.560
you're in the wrong place.

349
00:16:43.500 --> 00:16:44.780
You've gotta get into a place

350
00:16:44.780 --> 00:16:46.700
where people are doing much better than you.

351
00:16:46.700 --> 00:16:48.940
People are thriving, they're prospering.

352
00:16:48.940 --> 00:16:52.180
They're not in debt, okay?

353
00:16:52.180 --> 00:16:55.980
They're able to fulfill some dreams of their heart.

354
00:16:55.980 --> 00:16:57.780
They have really abundant relationships.

355
00:16:57.780 --> 00:16:58.960
They're not perfect people,

356
00:16:58.960 --> 00:17:01.540
but they're people that are growing, that are trying.

357
00:17:01.540 --> 00:17:04.500
If you don't have that, God has that for you

358
00:17:04.500 --> 00:17:07.859
and he wants to put you in it.

359
00:17:07.859 --> 00:17:10.319
Okay, God places the solitary in family,

360
00:17:10.319 --> 00:17:12.260
not just any kind of family.

361
00:17:12.260 --> 00:17:14.380
Some of you might be reading that scripture wrong.

362
00:17:14.380 --> 00:17:18.660
God takes the solitary, the lonely, the singular,

363
00:17:18.660 --> 00:17:21.140
and places them in just any old family.

364
00:17:21.140 --> 00:17:25.420
No, he places them in his family

365
00:17:25.420 --> 00:17:27.740
and his family isn't just the people

366
00:17:27.740 --> 00:17:29.980
who say they're his family.

367
00:17:29.980 --> 00:17:31.420
His family are the people

368
00:17:31.420 --> 00:17:34.420
that are doing the teachings of Jesus.

369
00:17:34.420 --> 00:17:35.420
And can I tell you something?

370
00:17:35.420 --> 00:17:38.380
If you are doing the teachings of Jesus, you will prosper.

371
00:17:39.240 --> 00:17:41.180
You're gonna prosper.

372
00:17:41.180 --> 00:17:42.900
Doesn't mean there's not gonna be any adversity.

373
00:17:42.900 --> 00:17:44.260
There's always gonna be adversity,

374
00:17:44.260 --> 00:17:47.260
but you're gonna prosper, you are.

375
00:17:47.260 --> 00:17:50.340
You're gonna prosper, okay?

376
00:17:50.340 --> 00:17:54.260
So if you've been hanging around with a lot of people

377
00:17:54.260 --> 00:17:58.620
that just call themselves some kind of religion,

378
00:17:58.620 --> 00:18:00.060
but they're not prospering,

379
00:18:00.060 --> 00:18:03.820
it's time to find a different place to go, okay?

380
00:18:05.120 --> 00:18:06.300
All right, these are so good.

381
00:18:06.300 --> 00:18:09.140
I believed love was far away and would take a long time.

382
00:18:09.140 --> 00:18:11.300
Now I believe this is my summer of love

383
00:18:11.300 --> 00:18:13.500
and love is coming for me so soon.

384
00:18:13.500 --> 00:18:15.980
Love is right around the corner for me.

385
00:18:15.980 --> 00:18:17.820
Yes, girl.

386
00:18:17.820 --> 00:18:19.240
I had a scarcity mentality.

387
00:18:19.240 --> 00:18:22.180
Now I know my non-negotiables and I can look for them

388
00:18:22.220 --> 00:18:25.940
and find the right guy and God has a guy for me.

389
00:18:25.940 --> 00:18:30.020
Cherise says, me too, me too.

390
00:18:30.020 --> 00:18:31.660
I believed I wouldn't get on the apps again.

391
00:18:31.660 --> 00:18:34.120
Now I believe it's another tool that I can use differently

392
00:18:34.120 --> 00:18:35.220
than I used it before.

393
00:18:35.220 --> 00:18:36.120
Yes, Lynn.

394
00:18:37.340 --> 00:18:38.520
Yes, you can.

395
00:18:39.480 --> 00:18:40.900
Yes, you can.

396
00:18:40.900 --> 00:18:43.340
You know how people, they always say,

397
00:18:43.340 --> 00:18:44.380
hey, what app is best?

398
00:18:44.380 --> 00:18:45.500
What app is best?

399
00:18:45.500 --> 00:18:46.880
Tell me the winning app.

400
00:18:46.880 --> 00:18:50.300
You guys, remember the apps were created like slot machines.

401
00:18:50.300 --> 00:18:52.720
That's like you going to Vegas and asking around,

402
00:18:52.720 --> 00:18:54.460
hey, which machine is hitting?

403
00:18:54.460 --> 00:18:56.140
Which machine is hot?

404
00:18:56.140 --> 00:18:58.580
Which slot machine should I play?

405
00:18:58.580 --> 00:18:59.940
That's the question that you're asking

406
00:18:59.940 --> 00:19:01.640
when you ask what dating app?

407
00:19:01.640 --> 00:19:05.340
Can I tell you that you can meet someone on any of them?

408
00:19:05.340 --> 00:19:10.060
Even Tinder, which is the booty call app.

409
00:19:10.060 --> 00:19:11.700
That's what people call it.

410
00:19:11.700 --> 00:19:12.780
But you know what?

411
00:19:12.780 --> 00:19:16.100
I know a handful of people that have met

412
00:19:16.100 --> 00:19:19.380
a serious, wonderful relationship on Tinder

413
00:19:19.380 --> 00:19:23.220
and even a spirit mate and even got married.

414
00:19:23.220 --> 00:19:25.020
And you're like, well, what were they doing on Tinder, Jackie?

415
00:19:25.020 --> 00:19:26.580
They didn't know about any other apps.

416
00:19:26.580 --> 00:19:28.220
They only knew about Tinder.

417
00:19:28.220 --> 00:19:29.580
They'd only heard Tinder.

418
00:19:29.580 --> 00:19:32.340
And so they downloaded it and got on there.

419
00:19:32.340 --> 00:19:33.760
They were just fat, dumb, and happy.

420
00:19:33.760 --> 00:19:34.600
They didn't know.

421
00:19:34.600 --> 00:19:35.700
They didn't know any better.

422
00:19:35.700 --> 00:19:37.220
You know?

423
00:19:37.220 --> 00:19:38.820
It's about our heart, you guys.

424
00:19:38.820 --> 00:19:41.240
It's not just about being in the right place

425
00:19:41.240 --> 00:19:42.700
at the right time.

426
00:19:42.700 --> 00:19:44.380
It's about being in the right place at the right time

427
00:19:44.380 --> 00:19:45.740
with the right heart.

428
00:19:46.580 --> 00:19:48.500
Where can you meet someone?

429
00:19:48.500 --> 00:19:50.100
Anywhere.

430
00:19:50.100 --> 00:19:51.740
Anywhere.

431
00:19:51.740 --> 00:19:53.260
Even Tinder.

432
00:19:53.260 --> 00:19:54.700
That's right.

433
00:19:54.700 --> 00:19:56.140
Okay.

434
00:19:56.140 --> 00:19:59.980
I believed that having no experience in a past relationship.

435
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:04.640
Relationship would be my downside, but I realized after being in last year single

436
00:20:04.640 --> 00:20:11.440
She's in last year single with us and in the book club. I'm equipped with great community and amazing tools and that's my edge

437
00:20:11.480 --> 00:20:15.680
I'm not gonna suck at dating and hopefully I'm gonna meet my future husband

438
00:20:16.360 --> 00:20:17.800
That's right

439
00:20:17.800 --> 00:20:19.460
That's right

440
00:20:19.460 --> 00:20:20.920
Okay, guys

441
00:20:20.920 --> 00:20:24.680
All right. Those are all so good you guys. I love it so much

442
00:20:24.680 --> 00:20:29.420
You guys feel that you feel those breakthroughs and there were a lot more that I didn't read and if I didn't read yours

443
00:20:29.420 --> 00:20:32.940
I'm sorry. I just got to move on because we've got so many things to do. I

444
00:20:33.780 --> 00:20:38.020
Want to get into the structure portion of tonight's recap?

445
00:20:38.360 --> 00:20:43.660
So it was your reading homework. You should have read chapter 9 10 in the conclusion and

446
00:20:44.460 --> 00:20:47.200
Chapter 9 was about structure over chaos

447
00:20:48.300 --> 00:20:53.260
Who has felt like your love life your dating life specifically has just been chaotic

448
00:20:54.660 --> 00:20:57.900
There's no rules you guys if you live back in the 1800s

449
00:20:57.900 --> 00:20:59.300
There were rules you had to follow rules

450
00:20:59.300 --> 00:21:03.920
You knew exactly what to do because there was a whole set of standards that you had to live by

451
00:21:04.600 --> 00:21:10.620
You weren't allowed to go off with a guy or a girl by yourself. Yeah, they had to meet your family first

452
00:21:12.060 --> 00:21:19.080
They had to actually know your family. They had to be recommended from someone that knew your family. You just couldn't just run off

453
00:21:20.500 --> 00:21:26.600
They couldn't just say hey you want to go hang out tonight. They couldn't text you at 2 o'clock in the morning and say

454
00:21:27.400 --> 00:21:32.120
WYD which stands for what you doing? I'm sleeping. I

455
00:21:33.560 --> 00:21:39.520
Should be sleeping just so you know, if anyone texts you at 2 o'clock in the morning, that's not a spirit mate

456
00:21:44.720 --> 00:21:50.540
You're like, oh that's so sweet he woke up in the middle of the night and he was thinking about me. Uh-huh, honey

457
00:21:51.200 --> 00:21:53.200
That's not what's going on there

458
00:21:53.200 --> 00:22:00.240
Especially if right after what you do and you get that two-word come over. No, no, no

459
00:22:01.800 --> 00:22:07.360
Susan said that's a sex mate. Not a spirit mate. That's his sex mate. Exactly. That's right

460
00:22:08.520 --> 00:22:10.520
That is right. Okay

461
00:22:11.040 --> 00:22:13.600
You guys are funny. I love you. Okay, so

462
00:22:14.320 --> 00:22:17.680
Because there's no structure. We're gonna put structure back in

463
00:22:17.680 --> 00:22:23.600
Now will someone's relationship here will it defy this timeline? Yes

464
00:22:23.600 --> 00:22:27.360
Will it move faster or maybe a little bit slower than this timeline? Yes

465
00:22:27.880 --> 00:22:33.040
Should it move any slower than this timeline? No, and if it does move slower than this timeline

466
00:22:33.040 --> 00:22:38.760
It doesn't mean for sure that it's a dud, but it does mean that we need to take a real close deep look

467
00:22:38.760 --> 00:22:43.600
Okay, so I'm gonna go ahead and I'm gonna go ahead and I'm gonna go ahead and I'm gonna go ahead and

468
00:22:44.400 --> 00:22:47.680
Maybe we can talk better about that coming up. Yes

469
00:22:48.040 --> 00:22:51.940
If you think the queue is slow you need to use your mind and you need to use your body

470
00:22:51.960 --> 00:22:55.800
The block quote sometimes looks like it's a dud you need to come in here and move fast

471
00:22:55.800 --> 00:23:00.400
It looks a little bit more like it's a cook out of a stuck together

472
00:23:00.400 --> 00:23:00.920
Okay

473
00:23:00.920 --> 00:23:04.680
So if that didn't really work then that's sick. Wow

474
00:23:05.960 --> 00:23:12.000
Okay, so I'm gonna go back and I'm gonna go ahead and I'm gonna go ahead and build this really fast

475
00:23:12.000 --> 00:23:17.280
And now you get to just jump straight into the subscription $37 a month. So you saved

476
00:23:19.160 --> 00:23:21.160
$297 and

477
00:23:22.600 --> 00:23:25.160
You will beginning you will be able to

478
00:23:25.880 --> 00:23:27.320
continue to

479
00:23:27.320 --> 00:23:31.320
Have coaching we have all kinds of amazing things if you have questions

480
00:23:31.440 --> 00:23:36.220
Let me know and I'll talk about it at the end. Okay, because I want to get to teaching. All right, so

481
00:23:37.720 --> 00:23:41.000
Will your timeline be different than this timeline this is

482
00:23:42.480 --> 00:23:44.480
preferred timeline

483
00:23:45.400 --> 00:23:47.600
But it doesn't have to be concrete

484
00:23:48.160 --> 00:23:52.040
Okay, it doesn't have to be a situation where if it's not this then it's not God

485
00:23:52.280 --> 00:23:57.000
It's not the right person for you. So please don't act like that because that's not real

486
00:23:58.600 --> 00:24:00.600
That's not real

487
00:24:02.280 --> 00:24:08.720
Dinah's asking do you guys get to come over into last year single and do heart work with us? Absolutely

488
00:24:09.600 --> 00:24:15.960
Everyone who comes into last year single even from the book club will start at the beginning of last year single with heart work

489
00:24:16.160 --> 00:24:23.960
Okay, and so yes, of course everything everything in last year single is included. Everything is included. It's not last year single light

490
00:24:24.080 --> 00:24:30.360
It's the whole thing. Alright, so let's talk about this 90-day framework. That was in chapter 9 days 1 through 30

491
00:24:31.840 --> 00:24:33.840
Curiosity

492
00:24:33.880 --> 00:24:37.600
Curiosity you guys you don't have to know whether this is your person or not

493
00:24:38.200 --> 00:24:40.920
Gentlemen you may know you may know

494
00:24:41.800 --> 00:24:43.800
Pretty quickly you may know by

495
00:24:44.200 --> 00:24:46.200
second third fourth fifth date

496
00:24:46.440 --> 00:24:48.440
men report to me

497
00:24:48.720 --> 00:24:50.520
Especially men who have done their heart work

498
00:24:50.520 --> 00:24:57.320
They report to me that they knew very quickly that there was something very special and very different about this woman and that

499
00:24:57.400 --> 00:25:00.000
They wanted to be with her and they

500
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:02.960
They wanted to have her as their own,

501
00:25:04.040 --> 00:25:07.200
that they wanted to make her their wife.

502
00:25:07.200 --> 00:25:10.920
When I officiate weddings, I ask the groom to tell me

503
00:25:10.920 --> 00:25:14.000
before we get up there on the wedding day,

504
00:25:14.000 --> 00:25:17.720
hey, when did you know that this woman was your wife?

505
00:25:17.720 --> 00:25:21.680
And almost every single one of them knew very quickly

506
00:25:23.000 --> 00:25:25.780
within, definitely within the first 30 days.

507
00:25:26.800 --> 00:25:29.740
Now I'm not talking about avoidantly attached men.

508
00:25:29.740 --> 00:25:32.300
I'm not talking about men who haven't done the heartwork.

509
00:25:32.300 --> 00:25:34.840
I'm not talking about marriage curious men.

510
00:25:34.840 --> 00:25:37.060
You guys should have read about marriage curious people.

511
00:25:37.060 --> 00:25:38.500
That can be women or men,

512
00:25:38.500 --> 00:25:40.880
but I'm not talking about people that are marriage curious.

513
00:25:40.880 --> 00:25:42.540
It's like, well, marriage sounds like it might be

514
00:25:42.540 --> 00:25:44.500
a good idea somewhere down the road,

515
00:25:44.500 --> 00:25:45.940
but they're not marriage-minded.

516
00:25:45.940 --> 00:25:47.740
These were marriage-minded men

517
00:25:47.740 --> 00:25:50.820
that were out in the marketplace looking for their women.

518
00:25:50.820 --> 00:25:55.460
And when they found them, they knew very early,

519
00:25:56.380 --> 00:25:57.540
very early.

520
00:25:58.540 --> 00:26:01.660
You guys, you have all kinds of questions going on in here.

521
00:26:01.660 --> 00:26:06.660
Let me go ahead and make my co-host a co-host, Cheryl,

522
00:26:19.100 --> 00:26:20.940
so that she can answer some of those questions.

523
00:26:20.940 --> 00:26:23.220
The answer to, can they join the book club?

524
00:26:23.220 --> 00:26:24.300
They missed the first session.

525
00:26:24.300 --> 00:26:27.500
It was last night, but if they wanna play catch up,

526
00:26:28.340 --> 00:26:29.180
then they can.

527
00:26:40.620 --> 00:26:42.540
All right, there we go.

528
00:26:42.540 --> 00:26:44.140
Okay, all right.

529
00:26:45.580 --> 00:26:48.100
Days one through 30, curiosity.

530
00:26:48.100 --> 00:26:52.060
Multiple conversations, multiple coffees.

531
00:26:52.060 --> 00:26:53.820
You're observing, you're not deciding.

532
00:26:53.820 --> 00:26:56.380
You're not in love with anyone yet.

533
00:26:56.380 --> 00:26:58.060
You should not be feeling anxious.

534
00:26:58.060 --> 00:26:59.820
For those of you that anxiously attach,

535
00:26:59.820 --> 00:27:02.600
by the way, we do attachment styles in last year's single.

536
00:27:02.600 --> 00:27:07.600
We really help you to disconnect from an attachment style

537
00:27:07.800 --> 00:27:11.240
that has kept you single, kept you frustrated.

538
00:27:14.300 --> 00:27:17.140
Days one through 30 is not for you to be imagining,

539
00:27:17.140 --> 00:27:19.180
you know, being married to this person,

540
00:27:19.180 --> 00:27:20.820
for you to be looking for signs

541
00:27:20.820 --> 00:27:22.740
if they're the person for you.

542
00:27:22.740 --> 00:27:27.580
It is for you to be enjoying getting to know them.

543
00:27:27.580 --> 00:27:29.740
And you know why it's days one through 30?

544
00:27:30.700 --> 00:27:33.180
Because you're not gonna see them every single day

545
00:27:34.100 --> 00:27:35.240
for the first month.

546
00:27:36.740 --> 00:27:38.780
You're like, Jackie, 30 days is a long time.

547
00:27:38.780 --> 00:27:42.020
Yeah, if you were seeing them every single day.

548
00:27:42.020 --> 00:27:45.060
But remember, I wrote this book based on my field work,

549
00:27:45.060 --> 00:27:48.140
and my field work says that you'll be lucky

550
00:27:48.140 --> 00:27:50.880
if you've had three dates with them in 30 days.

551
00:27:51.880 --> 00:27:56.880
You'll be blessed if you have had two in-persons in 30 days.

552
00:27:59.360 --> 00:28:02.280
Because people are busy, people have responsibilities.

553
00:28:02.280 --> 00:28:03.680
People are single parents.

554
00:28:03.680 --> 00:28:05.680
Sometimes people live a few hours away,

555
00:28:05.680 --> 00:28:06.980
and you gotta meet in the middle.

556
00:28:06.980 --> 00:28:08.440
Sometimes people are long distance.

557
00:28:08.440 --> 00:28:11.960
You may even get just one in-person in 30 days,

558
00:28:11.960 --> 00:28:13.160
if that's the case.

559
00:28:13.160 --> 00:28:15.660
And by the way, that is my rule for long distance.

560
00:28:15.660 --> 00:28:18.720
You have to have met up with that person in-person

561
00:28:18.720 --> 00:28:21.940
within the first 30 days of chatting and talking.

562
00:28:21.940 --> 00:28:23.640
Because oftentimes these relationships

563
00:28:23.640 --> 00:28:26.260
start getting built on emotional connection

564
00:28:26.260 --> 00:28:29.480
through chatting and talking, through long conversations,

565
00:28:29.480 --> 00:28:32.240
and multiple conversations a day,

566
00:28:32.240 --> 00:28:34.680
hours on Zoom at night, different things,

567
00:28:34.680 --> 00:28:36.560
and you're building this emotional bond

568
00:28:36.560 --> 00:28:39.600
that your physical bond in-person cannot support.

569
00:28:40.840 --> 00:28:42.040
You don't know who this person is.

570
00:28:42.040 --> 00:28:44.120
You think you do, but you don't,

571
00:28:44.120 --> 00:28:45.740
because you're not living life with them,

572
00:28:45.740 --> 00:28:47.320
you're not seeing them in-person,

573
00:28:47.400 --> 00:28:49.760
and therefore you really don't know who they are.

574
00:28:49.760 --> 00:28:51.160
But you're building this fantasy

575
00:28:51.160 --> 00:28:53.760
of who they are in your mind.

576
00:28:53.760 --> 00:28:56.000
And in-person chemistry just hits differently, friends.

577
00:28:56.000 --> 00:28:59.020
I don't care how attracted you are to them through a screen,

578
00:28:59.020 --> 00:29:03.080
you may not like their pheromones in person.

579
00:29:03.080 --> 00:29:05.240
You may not like their vibe in person,

580
00:29:05.240 --> 00:29:08.400
their body language, their mannerisms, their smell.

581
00:29:08.400 --> 00:29:10.280
You may not like them in person.

582
00:29:10.280 --> 00:29:15.280
And so do not be running off, half-cocked, all right?

583
00:29:15.420 --> 00:29:17.260
It's important for you.

584
00:29:18.100 --> 00:29:19.060
You're like, well, what if they live in another country?

585
00:29:19.060 --> 00:29:20.660
Then you need to slow your roll.

586
00:29:21.820 --> 00:29:23.700
You need to be entertaining the attentions

587
00:29:23.700 --> 00:29:25.100
of lots of different people,

588
00:29:25.100 --> 00:29:27.660
going on in-person dates with people in proximity,

589
00:29:27.660 --> 00:29:30.500
in person, not building some fantasy

590
00:29:30.500 --> 00:29:32.420
of someone who lives long distance.

591
00:29:32.420 --> 00:29:34.780
I just talked to a girl yesterday

592
00:29:34.780 --> 00:29:37.860
who was planning to move to another country

593
00:29:37.860 --> 00:29:39.900
because she met someone on vacation

594
00:29:39.900 --> 00:29:41.540
that she fell in love with.

595
00:29:43.020 --> 00:29:44.780
Now, she had a little bit of in-person time

596
00:29:44.780 --> 00:29:46.580
because she was in that country on vacation,

597
00:29:46.900 --> 00:29:48.660
but then she went home,

598
00:29:48.660 --> 00:29:50.940
and then it became long distance chatting and talking

599
00:29:50.940 --> 00:29:53.300
and chatting and planning and talking.

600
00:29:53.300 --> 00:29:54.660
And then she found out this person

601
00:29:54.660 --> 00:29:56.300
wasn't who she thought they were.

602
00:29:57.220 --> 00:29:59.520
In fact, this person was living a double life.

603
00:29:59.520 --> 00:30:00.360
Come on, y'all.

604
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:03.260
I've heard a lot of that long distance.

605
00:30:03.260 --> 00:30:05.300
And so we have some very specific rules

606
00:30:05.300 --> 00:30:06.940
in our community last year single

607
00:30:06.940 --> 00:30:08.700
to help you do long distance well.

608
00:30:08.700 --> 00:30:10.900
So I promise you, if you come into our community,

609
00:30:10.900 --> 00:30:14.620
we will make sure that you do not get scammed long distance,

610
00:30:14.620 --> 00:30:17.700
that you do not fall in love with a fantasy long distance,

611
00:30:17.700 --> 00:30:19.820
that you don't run off and get married in three months

612
00:30:19.820 --> 00:30:21.900
to someone that you've only seen once in person

613
00:30:21.900 --> 00:30:25.580
long distance, we will help you if you allow us to.

614
00:30:25.580 --> 00:30:27.420
And we'll make sure that you vet them out,

615
00:30:27.440 --> 00:30:29.340
that you do life together,

616
00:30:29.340 --> 00:30:31.760
and you really get to know who this person is

617
00:30:31.760 --> 00:30:35.520
before you actually marry them.

618
00:30:35.520 --> 00:30:40.200
Okay, so why is the first phase of my framework 30 days,

619
00:30:40.200 --> 00:30:41.400
30 whole days long?

620
00:30:41.400 --> 00:30:43.720
I just told you, we're grown adults.

621
00:30:43.720 --> 00:30:46.320
We're not kids in school that are gonna see each other

622
00:30:46.320 --> 00:30:50.080
three times a day in biology, math and history class.

623
00:30:51.000 --> 00:30:53.160
You're probably not gonna see them very much at all

624
00:30:53.160 --> 00:30:54.240
in the first 30 days.

625
00:30:54.240 --> 00:30:56.560
And that's why in that first 30 days,

626
00:30:56.560 --> 00:30:59.980
it's important that you are seeing if you even enjoy them,

627
00:30:59.980 --> 00:31:01.780
if you even enjoy them.

628
00:31:02.740 --> 00:31:05.260
You're like, how do I know if I enjoy them or not?

629
00:31:05.260 --> 00:31:07.660
Are you looking forward to seeing them again?

630
00:31:07.660 --> 00:31:11.020
Are you thinking about them when you're not with them?

631
00:31:11.020 --> 00:31:12.860
Are you wondering what the next thing is

632
00:31:12.860 --> 00:31:15.460
that you're gonna discover about them?

633
00:31:15.460 --> 00:31:16.660
Are you trying to think of things

634
00:31:16.660 --> 00:31:18.420
that would make them happier, make them smile,

635
00:31:18.420 --> 00:31:19.340
or make them laugh?

636
00:31:19.340 --> 00:31:21.820
Gentlemen, that's specifically for you.

637
00:31:23.340 --> 00:31:25.580
Are you thinking of ways to make her laugh?

638
00:31:27.380 --> 00:31:28.820
To woo her?

639
00:31:30.580 --> 00:31:32.860
Now you're not doing a lot of wooing yet,

640
00:31:32.860 --> 00:31:35.740
but you're thinking about it.

641
00:31:37.300 --> 00:31:40.460
Okay, and then days 31 through 60,

642
00:31:40.460 --> 00:31:42.420
this is where clarity needs to come in.

643
00:31:42.420 --> 00:31:46.880
So days one through 30 is curiosity, curiosity.

644
00:31:48.660 --> 00:31:52.220
And then days 31 through 60 are clarity.

645
00:31:52.220 --> 00:31:54.360
This is where you're narrowing things down.

646
00:31:55.340 --> 00:31:58.900
This is where you actually need to pick someone.

647
00:31:58.900 --> 00:32:01.660
If you've been dating more than one person

648
00:32:01.660 --> 00:32:03.380
in the curiosity stage,

649
00:32:04.760 --> 00:32:07.680
and one of the people made it past 30 days with you,

650
00:32:08.800 --> 00:32:11.140
you either need more information about that person,

651
00:32:11.140 --> 00:32:14.120
clarity, in order to become exclusive,

652
00:32:14.960 --> 00:32:18.140
and you need to start getting that in the next 30 days.

653
00:32:18.140 --> 00:32:20.980
Because by 90 days, by three months,

654
00:32:20.980 --> 00:32:23.180
I don't care if you've only had five dates,

655
00:32:23.180 --> 00:32:24.840
by three months of knowing someone,

656
00:32:24.840 --> 00:32:26.960
you should know whether or not you wanna continue

657
00:32:26.960 --> 00:32:29.340
to get to know this person exclusively.

658
00:32:30.880 --> 00:32:31.720
And if you're saying,

659
00:32:31.720 --> 00:32:33.480
I wanna get to know you exclusively,

660
00:32:33.480 --> 00:32:35.900
I don't want my options to be left open,

661
00:32:35.900 --> 00:32:37.160
I wanna get off the apps,

662
00:32:37.160 --> 00:32:38.800
I wanna focus on this relationship

663
00:32:38.800 --> 00:32:40.640
and where this relationship is going,

664
00:32:40.640 --> 00:32:45.640
then at our age, it's because you see potential for marriage.

665
00:32:46.040 --> 00:32:47.260
You're not proposing,

666
00:32:48.280 --> 00:32:49.960
but you've talked about whether this person

667
00:32:49.980 --> 00:32:52.820
is marriage curious or marriage minded, haven't you?

668
00:32:53.820 --> 00:32:55.780
You have found out whether this person

669
00:32:55.780 --> 00:32:58.940
really wants the same things in life that you want.

670
00:32:58.940 --> 00:33:01.140
And it's not because you sat them down

671
00:33:01.140 --> 00:33:02.860
in the first 30 days and grilled them

672
00:33:02.860 --> 00:33:05.320
and gave them a lie detector test.

673
00:33:05.320 --> 00:33:09.420
It's because you followed the framework, you had fun.

674
00:33:11.060 --> 00:33:14.360
Remember, the first 30 days is a lot about chemistry.

675
00:33:14.360 --> 00:33:16.320
Do you have conversational chemistry?

676
00:33:16.320 --> 00:33:18.100
Do you have emotional chemistry?

677
00:33:19.040 --> 00:33:21.760
Does this person follow through on what they say?

678
00:33:21.760 --> 00:33:23.380
Do they make plans?

679
00:33:24.460 --> 00:33:26.800
Are they over-functioning or under-functioning?

680
00:33:26.800 --> 00:33:27.640
Are they passive?

681
00:33:27.640 --> 00:33:28.680
Are they aggressive?

682
00:33:28.680 --> 00:33:31.240
What are you finding out in the first 30 days?

683
00:33:31.240 --> 00:33:32.500
Do you like them?

684
00:33:32.500 --> 00:33:33.840
Do you wanna be with them?

685
00:33:35.760 --> 00:33:36.680
Are they nice,

686
00:33:36.680 --> 00:33:39.440
but you just could never ever imagine kissing them?

687
00:33:39.440 --> 00:33:40.760
That's good information.

688
00:33:40.760 --> 00:33:42.640
After 30 whole days of knowing them,

689
00:33:42.640 --> 00:33:45.560
if you still could not imagine putting your lips

690
00:33:45.560 --> 00:33:48.140
on their lips, and I don't mean giving them CPR

691
00:33:48.140 --> 00:33:51.200
because they choked on a walnut, okay?

692
00:33:52.660 --> 00:33:57.660
I mean, there's nothing.

693
00:33:58.860 --> 00:34:01.620
And you didn't just have one date, okay?

694
00:34:01.620 --> 00:34:02.820
You're like, how do you decide

695
00:34:02.820 --> 00:34:04.700
whether or not you're physically attracted?

696
00:34:04.700 --> 00:34:08.340
If you have had a handful of dates with someone

697
00:34:08.340 --> 00:34:12.060
and each time, it doesn't grow.

698
00:34:12.060 --> 00:34:14.500
You guys, it's all about growth.

699
00:34:14.520 --> 00:34:16.400
You don't have to like them from the first date.

700
00:34:16.400 --> 00:34:18.719
You don't have to want to marry them from the first date.

701
00:34:18.719 --> 00:34:20.320
You don't have to want to make out with them

702
00:34:20.320 --> 00:34:21.540
from the first date.

703
00:34:21.540 --> 00:34:23.480
You don't have to have any of those feelings.

704
00:34:23.480 --> 00:34:25.540
The only thing you have to have from the first date

705
00:34:25.540 --> 00:34:28.120
is I would like to see this person again.

706
00:34:28.120 --> 00:34:30.480
I'm curious and I wanna know more.

707
00:34:30.480 --> 00:34:32.440
In days 31 through 60,

708
00:34:32.440 --> 00:34:34.239
that has to start to get narrowed down.

709
00:34:34.239 --> 00:34:35.520
Clarity has to come.

710
00:34:36.420 --> 00:34:38.139
Do I wanna invest in this relationship?

711
00:34:38.139 --> 00:34:40.020
Do I see potential in this relationship?

712
00:34:40.020 --> 00:34:43.080
Do I like this person's presence?

713
00:34:43.080 --> 00:34:44.159
Do I like their values?

714
00:34:44.820 --> 00:34:45.659
Do I like their vision for their life?

715
00:34:45.659 --> 00:34:47.300
Do I like where this relationship

716
00:34:47.300 --> 00:34:48.739
between the two of us is going?

717
00:34:48.739 --> 00:34:50.460
And then in the last 30 days,

718
00:34:50.460 --> 00:34:52.960
you have to choose this person on purpose.

719
00:34:55.100 --> 00:34:56.659
You're not allowed to be in the gray zone.

720
00:34:56.659 --> 00:34:59.140
If you haven't talked about long-term commitment,

721
00:34:59.140 --> 00:34:59.980
like if they want.

722
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:03.200
a long-term commitment with someone, if they're marriage-minded.

723
00:35:03.200 --> 00:35:06.280
If you haven't talked about those things, you've got to do this in the last 30 days

724
00:35:06.280 --> 00:35:09.320
because otherwise you're going to find yourself in the gray zone.

725
00:35:09.320 --> 00:35:12.520
Remember our friend that just put up in the chat, the one thing that she learned was is

726
00:35:12.520 --> 00:35:17.200
that she could break up with that avoidant man, that she could do it.

727
00:35:17.200 --> 00:35:22.000
How did she get in a relationship with someone for a couple years that isn't going to commit

728
00:35:22.000 --> 00:35:23.000
to her?

729
00:35:23.000 --> 00:35:24.200
How did that happen?

730
00:35:24.200 --> 00:35:26.580
Because she didn't honor this framework.

731
00:35:26.580 --> 00:35:33.340
She didn't know what it was, but you guys all know what it is now, don't you?

732
00:35:33.340 --> 00:35:37.180
I want to see how many people have been in a situationship, what I call the gray zone

733
00:35:37.180 --> 00:35:38.280
in my book.

734
00:35:38.280 --> 00:35:41.420
You don't know if you're coming or going, you don't know if it's going anywhere or not,

735
00:35:41.420 --> 00:35:44.220
but it's lasted for longer than six months.

736
00:35:44.220 --> 00:35:45.740
Let me see.

737
00:35:45.740 --> 00:35:49.100
Put your hands up.

738
00:35:49.100 --> 00:35:53.900
Put your hands in the air.

739
00:35:53.900 --> 00:35:56.180
You're not sure if they even like you back.

740
00:35:56.180 --> 00:36:02.500
It's an unrequited crush maybe, or you're dating them, but it's not going anywhere.

741
00:36:02.500 --> 00:36:04.660
You never get any further emotionally.

742
00:36:04.660 --> 00:36:10.180
Now you might get further physically because situationships usually escalate pretty quickly

743
00:36:10.180 --> 00:36:14.820
physically, but just not emotionally, not mentally, not spiritually.

744
00:36:14.820 --> 00:36:19.820
Look at all those hands.

745
00:36:19.820 --> 00:36:22.140
Look at all those hands, you guys.

746
00:36:22.140 --> 00:36:26.260
Cynthia is like, I wasted years.

747
00:36:26.260 --> 00:36:31.340
Charlotte's like almost six months, but I finally ended it.

748
00:36:31.340 --> 00:36:40.780
Okay, you guys, if you follow this framework, you will not.

749
00:36:40.780 --> 00:36:42.460
And here's the thing I want to tell you, ladies.

750
00:36:42.460 --> 00:36:45.140
I wrote it in the book, but I'm going to reiterate it.

751
00:36:45.140 --> 00:36:53.700
If you have to be the person in the second set of 30 days, 31 through 60, this is where

752
00:36:53.700 --> 00:36:58.100
the DTR needs to happen, by the way, y'all.

753
00:36:58.100 --> 00:37:02.300
If you have to be the one to ask where this is going, if you have to be the one that gets

754
00:37:02.300 --> 00:37:07.820
up the nerve to ask them whether or not they want to be your boyfriend or if this is exclusive

755
00:37:07.820 --> 00:37:11.640
or where is this going or what is it that you want?

756
00:37:11.640 --> 00:37:17.800
If you're the one that has to do that, this man is either two things, one of two things.

757
00:37:17.800 --> 00:37:20.360
He's not that into you or he's not marriage minded.

758
00:37:20.360 --> 00:37:21.920
He's not ready.

759
00:37:21.920 --> 00:37:29.980
He's one of those two things because a man who is marriage minded and also likes you

760
00:37:29.980 --> 00:37:37.500
is not going to even let it get to the clarity stage before he has brought clarity to you.

761
00:37:37.500 --> 00:37:39.240
He's not going to let it get there.

762
00:37:39.240 --> 00:37:41.560
The men know what they want.

763
00:37:41.560 --> 00:37:47.240
They let you know what they want 100% of the time.

764
00:37:47.240 --> 00:37:49.840
So one of two things is true about that man.

765
00:37:49.840 --> 00:37:57.440
He's not healthy enough or ready enough to make a commitment and that's good information.

766
00:37:57.440 --> 00:37:58.840
You need to know that.

767
00:37:58.840 --> 00:38:03.760
And or he, you're a placeholder.

768
00:38:03.760 --> 00:38:05.600
He likes you fine.

769
00:38:05.600 --> 00:38:08.480
He's willing to goof off and hang off, hang out with you.

770
00:38:08.480 --> 00:38:13.960
He's willing to maybe even have a sexual relationship with you, but he doesn't have

771
00:38:13.960 --> 00:38:16.840
any plan on marrying you.

772
00:38:16.840 --> 00:38:20.840
He doesn't like you enough for that.

773
00:38:20.840 --> 00:38:22.640
Okay.

774
00:38:22.640 --> 00:38:24.920
Nope.

775
00:38:24.920 --> 00:38:28.760
It's no good.

776
00:38:28.760 --> 00:38:33.000
It's no good.

777
00:38:33.000 --> 00:38:36.660
I don't know if I told you guys this story before, but this is one of my favorite stories

778
00:38:36.660 --> 00:38:42.420
that proves this and I think I told it in the book.

779
00:38:42.420 --> 00:38:46.460
I can't remember if I told it in the book or not, but I had a client and I match made

780
00:38:46.460 --> 00:38:47.980
her.

781
00:38:47.980 --> 00:38:49.180
She was on the dating app.

782
00:38:49.180 --> 00:38:53.580
She was meeting people, but I match made her with one of my male clients and that male

783
00:38:53.580 --> 00:38:58.140
client came in town to spend the weekend with her.

784
00:38:58.140 --> 00:39:02.740
Not with her, but you know, to have a tab, a date because he was long distance.

785
00:39:02.740 --> 00:39:06.580
And so she had all this stuff planned because he came to her city and so she had all this

786
00:39:06.700 --> 00:39:09.660
activity stuff planned for them to do together.

787
00:39:09.660 --> 00:39:11.500
And the very first night was great.

788
00:39:11.500 --> 00:39:12.500
They went to dinner.

789
00:39:12.500 --> 00:39:13.500
It was fun.

790
00:39:13.500 --> 00:39:14.500
It was wonderful.

791
00:39:14.500 --> 00:39:15.780
I got great feedback from both of them.

792
00:39:15.780 --> 00:39:16.900
He had a really good time.

793
00:39:16.900 --> 00:39:17.900
He thought she was really pretty.

794
00:39:17.900 --> 00:39:19.580
He was attracted to her.

795
00:39:19.580 --> 00:39:20.580
Same thing.

796
00:39:20.580 --> 00:39:21.580
She was attracted to him.

797
00:39:21.580 --> 00:39:22.580
She had a good time.

798
00:39:22.580 --> 00:39:23.580
She thought it was funny.

799
00:39:23.580 --> 00:39:25.140
Blah, blah, blah.

800
00:39:25.140 --> 00:39:29.840
But there has, there was this other guy that she had been on a handful of dates with probably

801
00:39:29.840 --> 00:39:36.380
just three or four dates and he lived in her city and he found out, now I didn't introduce

802
00:39:36.380 --> 00:39:37.380
her to this guy.

803
00:39:37.380 --> 00:39:38.780
She was my student and client.

804
00:39:38.780 --> 00:39:43.380
So I was coaching her, but I didn't introduce her to that other guy.

805
00:39:43.380 --> 00:39:50.300
But he found out that this other guy had flown in town to meet her and to have a weekend

806
00:39:50.300 --> 00:39:52.500
date with her.

807
00:39:52.500 --> 00:39:58.140
And you guys, he showed up strong.

808
00:39:58.140 --> 00:40:00.020
He said, Hey, he said, I don't.

809
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:01.800
wants you to go out with that other guy again.

810
00:40:01.800 --> 00:40:06.040
He's like, I wanna be with you.

811
00:40:06.040 --> 00:40:07.780
I know we've only had four or five dates,

812
00:40:07.780 --> 00:40:10.520
but I just wanna let you know that I think you're amazing.

813
00:40:10.520 --> 00:40:12.240
You're exactly the kind of woman

814
00:40:12.240 --> 00:40:14.660
that I'm looking for to be my wife.

815
00:40:14.660 --> 00:40:17.480
You know, I have been just so excited

816
00:40:17.480 --> 00:40:19.360
about every single one of our dates

817
00:40:19.360 --> 00:40:21.040
and I want you to be my girlfriend.

818
00:40:21.040 --> 00:40:24.720
I'm asking you to be exclusive with me in relationship.

819
00:40:24.720 --> 00:40:27.560
Remember, this is just about four or five dates in.

820
00:40:28.560 --> 00:40:30.440
Now she's torn.

821
00:40:30.440 --> 00:40:32.480
She's like, okay, this guy's in town visiting me

822
00:40:32.480 --> 00:40:35.200
and he's great, but this guy that I've been going out with,

823
00:40:35.200 --> 00:40:36.360
he's really great.

824
00:40:36.360 --> 00:40:38.720
I didn't know that he liked me that much yet.

825
00:40:38.720 --> 00:40:40.320
And so she had a decision to make.

826
00:40:40.320 --> 00:40:43.320
So she did make a decision to stick with the local guy

827
00:40:43.320 --> 00:40:45.720
to go ahead and become exclusive with him.

828
00:40:45.720 --> 00:40:48.780
Remember, it was way ahead of this timeline

829
00:40:48.780 --> 00:40:49.880
that I've laid out.

830
00:40:49.880 --> 00:40:52.060
She let the other guy know, hey, listen,

831
00:40:52.060 --> 00:40:53.840
this other guy that I've been seeing,

832
00:40:53.840 --> 00:40:55.760
you know, he wants me to be his girlfriend.

833
00:40:55.760 --> 00:40:57.040
He wants it to be exclusive.

834
00:40:57.560 --> 00:40:59.080
And so I'm gonna focus all my energy over here.

835
00:40:59.080 --> 00:41:00.920
I'm sorry that you came in town

836
00:41:00.920 --> 00:41:03.720
and you wasted any time or money, you know,

837
00:41:03.720 --> 00:41:05.280
but it was one of those things, friends,

838
00:41:05.280 --> 00:41:07.800
where it's all fair and love and war.

839
00:41:07.800 --> 00:41:10.440
And she tried to let him down easy.

840
00:41:10.440 --> 00:41:13.120
You know, was he a little upset about it?

841
00:41:13.120 --> 00:41:14.280
Yes, he was.

842
00:41:14.280 --> 00:41:16.100
But she ended up marrying the other guy

843
00:41:16.100 --> 00:41:18.400
and they're two babies in already.

844
00:41:18.400 --> 00:41:20.420
All right, happy as little clams.

845
00:41:22.320 --> 00:41:24.100
Happy as little clams in the sand.

846
00:41:25.560 --> 00:41:26.820
Why did I say this?

847
00:41:27.600 --> 00:41:30.780
Because that man was marriage-minded, marriage-ready,

848
00:41:30.780 --> 00:41:33.900
and he saw what he liked and he locked it down.

849
00:41:33.900 --> 00:41:37.140
And that's what you want in a healthy man.

850
00:41:38.660 --> 00:41:41.300
That's what you want in a healthy man.

851
00:41:41.300 --> 00:41:42.380
Now, they didn't get married

852
00:41:42.380 --> 00:41:45.320
until they had been dating for about a year.

853
00:41:45.320 --> 00:41:46.780
They got to know each other better.

854
00:41:46.780 --> 00:41:49.020
They only became exclusive boyfriend and girlfriend

855
00:41:49.020 --> 00:41:51.560
at that juncture, but that is what you wanna see.

856
00:41:52.580 --> 00:41:56.060
Okay, all right, let's do a little Q&A here

857
00:41:56.060 --> 00:41:57.020
because I don't want you sitting

858
00:41:57.020 --> 00:41:59.060
in the gray zone for two years.

859
00:41:59.060 --> 00:42:02.680
You have a framework now and you need to use it.

860
00:42:02.680 --> 00:42:04.940
Now, if the relationship is healthy

861
00:42:04.940 --> 00:42:07.540
and you feel intuitively that it's going well

862
00:42:07.540 --> 00:42:08.660
and it's not really going

863
00:42:08.660 --> 00:42:12.000
according to this timeline necessarily,

864
00:42:12.000 --> 00:42:14.420
maybe you're long distance or maybe they're in school

865
00:42:14.420 --> 00:42:15.660
or maybe there's something else,

866
00:42:15.660 --> 00:42:19.260
but they keep moving it forward, they keep choosing you,

867
00:42:19.260 --> 00:42:22.100
they keep showing up, they're consistent,

868
00:42:22.100 --> 00:42:25.340
they're clear about their intentions, then it's fine.

869
00:42:26.480 --> 00:42:29.780
It's fine, but ladies, if you're wondering where you stand,

870
00:42:29.780 --> 00:42:32.780
if you're confused about his feelings for you,

871
00:42:32.780 --> 00:42:36.820
he doesn't like you that much.

872
00:42:36.820 --> 00:42:40.200
If you feel confused about where you stand with him,

873
00:42:40.200 --> 00:42:43.160
you don't stand anywhere with him, do you understand?

874
00:42:45.980 --> 00:42:48.740
Confusion is the Clary that you need.

875
00:42:49.820 --> 00:42:51.100
Okay, all right, let's go ahead

876
00:42:51.100 --> 00:42:53.440
and take a couple questions.

877
00:42:53.440 --> 00:42:55.420
If anyone wants to kind of ask a question

878
00:42:55.780 --> 00:42:57.420
about this framework, now would be the time to do it.

879
00:42:57.420 --> 00:42:58.660
Go ahead and get your hand up.

880
00:42:58.660 --> 00:43:01.300
You guys, in order to preserve time,

881
00:43:01.300 --> 00:43:05.740
let your question be shorter than 60 seconds

882
00:43:05.740 --> 00:43:07.660
and then I'll give a 60 second answer.

883
00:43:07.660 --> 00:43:08.860
Marsha, what do you got?

884
00:43:13.300 --> 00:43:14.200
Marsha, you're up.

885
00:43:26.420 --> 00:43:29.460
Oh, okay, Gail, go ahead.

886
00:43:30.860 --> 00:43:33.220
Yeah, I have a question.

887
00:43:33.220 --> 00:43:38.220
I'm a senior and so I'm retired.

888
00:43:38.620 --> 00:43:43.020
So how would you, if you were to do a chart

889
00:43:43.020 --> 00:43:45.940
for retired people to have all the time in the world

890
00:43:45.940 --> 00:43:50.940
and see each other five days a week, does that speed up?

891
00:43:52.100 --> 00:43:54.340
I mean, I am five and a half,

892
00:43:54.860 --> 00:43:57.140
a week away from six months in

893
00:43:57.140 --> 00:43:59.820
with a gentleman who's already proposed once to me

894
00:43:59.820 --> 00:44:02.720
and I said I wasn't ready.

895
00:44:03.620 --> 00:44:05.720
That was probably at three months.

896
00:44:06.700 --> 00:44:08.700
But we have been seeing each other five days,

897
00:44:08.700 --> 00:44:13.100
actually this last month, almost every day he'll stop in.

898
00:44:13.100 --> 00:44:17.060
We're both retired and so does the amount of time

899
00:44:17.060 --> 00:44:22.060
spent together matter more than the months or days?

900
00:44:22.660 --> 00:44:24.060
Days.

901
00:44:24.060 --> 00:44:25.500
It depends on how much you feel like

902
00:44:25.500 --> 00:44:27.700
you're getting to know that person.

903
00:44:27.700 --> 00:44:30.780
It depends on how much clarity you're getting.

904
00:44:30.780 --> 00:44:32.820
It depends on whether you enjoy them.

905
00:44:32.820 --> 00:44:35.260
It also depends on whether you're just a placeholder

906
00:44:35.260 --> 00:44:37.180
in each other's lives because you're bored

907
00:44:37.180 --> 00:44:38.900
and you don't have anything else to do.

908
00:44:38.900 --> 00:44:41.580
I mean, there's a lot of different answers to this question

909
00:44:41.580 --> 00:44:44.700
but if you like this guy, he seems very motivated.

910
00:44:44.700 --> 00:44:47.300
He obviously is consistent.

911
00:44:47.300 --> 00:44:49.420
He asked you to marry him already at three months.

912
00:44:49.420 --> 00:44:50.900
Yeah, that's pretty quick.

913
00:44:50.900 --> 00:44:52.260
Now you're six months in,

914
00:44:52.260 --> 00:44:54.220
what do you feel like you need from him?

915
00:44:54.220 --> 00:44:55.540
Here's the better question.

916
00:44:55.540 --> 00:44:58.260
What do you feel like you need to have clarity

917
00:44:58.260 --> 00:44:59.620
and be able to choose him?

918
00:44:59.620 --> 00:45:00.460
What do you feel?

919
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:07.240
like you need? Well, I think I've had clarity enough to choose him. I think I'm ready to

920
00:45:07.240 --> 00:45:15.360
say yes. And he has to get through July, he told me, because he's a widow and his wife

921
00:45:15.360 --> 00:45:22.160
and his anniversary, six years he's been a widow. July has been their month or their

922
00:45:22.160 --> 00:45:27.240
wedding date. I don't know if it's his wife's birth, former birthday. So he says I have

923
00:45:27.240 --> 00:45:36.080
to get through July now. And I intend on putting a ring on your finger. He he says he cannot

924
00:45:36.080 --> 00:45:43.480
go two years, he would like to get married within the year of knowing me, not from now,

925
00:45:43.480 --> 00:45:54.080
but another six months. But I'm being told by my pastor that I guess when you're 73 years

926
00:45:54.080 --> 00:45:57.240
old, he doesn't take an account that you don't have all the time in the world, really.

927
00:45:57.240 --> 00:46:03.480
I mean, nobody knows, but God knows. But it's just seeing somebody so regularly, I feel

928
00:46:03.480 --> 00:46:09.200
like we're setting, settling into a real good state. So I'm ready to accept, but I'm getting

929
00:46:09.200 --> 00:46:14.720
this like, oh, you've only known each other six months from people around me. So. Okay.

930
00:46:14.720 --> 00:46:19.400
So we are not the people around you because we don't do life with you in person. So I

931
00:46:19.400 --> 00:46:24.680
wouldn't completely ignore that. There's also some things that you need to, um, you

932
00:46:24.680 --> 00:46:29.040
guys at this stage of life that she is in and that some of you are in, you need to make

933
00:46:29.040 --> 00:46:34.360
sure that this person's financially stable. Okay. There's a lot of reasons why people

934
00:46:34.360 --> 00:46:39.240
want to get married, get married quickly. So you need to make sure that they have disclosed

935
00:46:39.240 --> 00:46:43.960
all of their finances to you, their debt, you know, where they are, you know, whose

936
00:46:43.960 --> 00:46:49.480
house would you live in? Um, it'd probably be a good time for you to jump into like a,

937
00:46:49.480 --> 00:46:53.920
like a Simba's save your marriage before it starts class, a premarital coaching class,

938
00:46:53.920 --> 00:46:58.200
because all of that will come out in the homework and the homework that you have to do. You

939
00:46:58.200 --> 00:47:02.120
have to go through finances. You have to go through expectations. You have to go through

940
00:47:02.120 --> 00:47:07.720
11 different dynamics and all the roosters will come home to roost. And so if you're

941
00:47:07.720 --> 00:47:11.800
serious about him to this level and he's serious about you to this level, then let's get some

942
00:47:11.800 --> 00:47:18.640
other eyes digging into what really is there like a Simba's, which we have in last year's

943
00:47:18.640 --> 00:47:22.440
single. Are you part of last year's single or are you just in the book? I am. I am. He's

944
00:47:22.440 --> 00:47:28.640
not. I am. Okay, perfect. So there's another Simba's about to start. I would really suggest

945
00:47:28.640 --> 00:47:33.720
jumping in there because that will allow you guys to have even harder conversations as

946
00:47:33.720 --> 00:47:38.040
the homework, you know, you don't even have to bring it up. The homework will bring it

947
00:47:38.040 --> 00:47:42.680
up and that will allow you to see really fully what it would look like to be married

948
00:47:42.680 --> 00:47:48.520
to him financially, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, sexually, the whole nine yards.

949
00:47:48.520 --> 00:47:53.880
Okay. Can, does he have to join or how does that work? No, he doesn't have to join the

950
00:47:53.880 --> 00:48:00.080
last year single. You just, you can sign up for Simba's and bring him along. Perfect.

951
00:48:00.080 --> 00:48:04.240
Thank you so much. Okay. Good question. All right. Um, you guys, okay, we're going to

952
00:48:04.240 --> 00:48:08.360
try to go quicker through these. Jodi, what's your question? And remember we're about frame,

953
00:48:08.360 --> 00:48:13.280
we're talking about the framework. That's what we're talking about right now. So, um,

954
00:48:13.280 --> 00:48:20.440
I don't usually like to be on the hot seat, but here I am. Um, uh, what if I'm the one

955
00:48:20.440 --> 00:48:32.000
that seems to never be able, like, I feel like I, um, meet good guys and they're interested

956
00:48:32.000 --> 00:48:39.960
and then I can't decide if I'm interested or if I'm attracted to them. How long have

957
00:48:39.960 --> 00:48:49.000
you been single? A long time. I've been, um, in a few serious relationships, but it's been

958
00:48:49.000 --> 00:48:55.680
20 years. Okay. Well, there's your answer. So you've built a life that while it might

959
00:48:55.680 --> 00:49:01.360
not be everything that you want it to be, I'm sure that it's a good life. And you know,

960
00:49:01.360 --> 00:49:07.560
being in a relationship with someone and giving up, you know, different parts of yourself,

961
00:49:07.560 --> 00:49:12.640
your schedule, your life, sharing your life with someone, that's a big decision to make,

962
00:49:12.640 --> 00:49:19.040
especially when you've been single for 20 years. Yeah. But I don't think that's my issue

963
00:49:19.040 --> 00:49:28.320
because, um, I don't know. I think I will tell you. Yeah. I think it, I think there

964
00:49:28.320 --> 00:49:40.200
is avoidance there and maybe fear of choosing wrong as is. Um, so I don't know what, I guess,

965
00:49:40.200 --> 00:49:45.080
what does this say about me? Like what, um, it says exactly what you just said and exactly

966
00:49:45.080 --> 00:49:48.600
what I just said. Cause you're not saying anything different than what I'm saying. You

967
00:49:48.600 --> 00:49:56.320
are not wanting to give up your current reality for an unknown reality, which is marrying

968
00:49:56.320 --> 00:50:00.120
the wrong person, being with the wrong person, you know, not choosing someone who's long

969
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:04.160
term compatible. Ladies and gentlemen, if you've been single for any amount of time,

970
00:50:04.720 --> 00:50:09.680
it's a situation that you've learned to live with. Okay. And yes, you would love to be married,

971
00:50:09.680 --> 00:50:13.760
but you would only love to be married the way that you would love to be married.

972
00:50:13.760 --> 00:50:19.280
And that's not something that you can tell right away in any kind of dating relationship about

973
00:50:19.280 --> 00:50:24.480
whether or not this person would be long-term compatible with you, whether or not life would

974
00:50:24.480 --> 00:50:32.000
be better with them or not, unless you give it a chance to unfold. And so my advice to her,

975
00:50:32.000 --> 00:50:38.400
and to all of you that have this more of avoidant attachment style that's been created by long-term

976
00:50:38.400 --> 00:50:46.800
abstinence, celibacy, and singleness, you have to allow someone to come in, even if they're

977
00:50:46.800 --> 00:50:52.560
not the preference list. That's why we made the non-negotiable list. If they have those attributes,

978
00:50:52.560 --> 00:50:58.400
if you enjoy their presence, if you look forward to seeing them, doesn't mean you want to marry

979
00:50:58.400 --> 00:51:05.120
them. You have to allow it to be. And this is why I created this phrase, Jody, for people like you.

980
00:51:05.120 --> 00:51:09.040
And, and there's a lot of you guys here, put your hand up. If you're on the same boat as Jody,

981
00:51:09.680 --> 00:51:15.280
it's called, it's a yes until it's a no. You don't have to feel chemistry. You don't feel,

982
00:51:15.280 --> 00:51:18.400
have to feel like you're so in love with them. You just can't live without them.

983
00:51:19.200 --> 00:51:24.720
That's called being 22 years old. That ship has sailed out of the port. Doesn't mean you're not

984
00:51:24.720 --> 00:51:30.800
going to be excited about your spirit mate. It just means that that car engine may take a couple

985
00:51:30.800 --> 00:51:38.560
more turns to fully turn over. And that's okay. All right. Cause we have to get rid of fear before

986
00:51:38.560 --> 00:51:44.800
we can feel, you know, the, the emotions that you're wanting to feel. Yeah. We got to get rid

987
00:51:44.800 --> 00:51:51.120
of fear first and fear only leaves when there's knowledge. So the more knowledge that you have

988
00:51:51.120 --> 00:51:56.480
about this person, the more that you get to know them, the more that you let them in the, the more

989
00:51:56.480 --> 00:52:02.160
stable and secure you're going to feel to let your heart get more involved. Does that make sense?

990
00:52:02.960 --> 00:52:09.280
Yeah, it does. And I've been hurt really badly. So it, it is a scary thing to

991
00:52:09.520 --> 00:52:19.360
take that risk again, when. Absolutely. And you guys love is always a risk. It always is. But

992
00:52:19.360 --> 00:52:24.880
Jodi, you have great tools now and you're not going in blind. You have a great community around

993
00:52:24.880 --> 00:52:31.440
you now. And so there isn't any reason why you would ever have to worry about being fooled by

994
00:52:31.440 --> 00:52:39.440
anyone. Because if you stay close to community, you share like you are now, people will see what

995
00:52:39.440 --> 00:52:44.800
you can't including coaches. And so you can just go out there and kind of date and be free and have

996
00:52:44.800 --> 00:52:54.080
fun without being worried about choosing the wrong person. Ah, okay. All right. All of you are

997
00:52:54.080 --> 00:52:58.880
God defended. Now you don't have to be self-defended anymore. You're God defended. Now that's only if

998
00:52:58.880 --> 00:53:02.960
you don't date in isolation. Remember the book says, if you date in the dark, bad things happen

999
00:53:02.960 --> 00:53:09.360
in the dark, let your advisory circle in, let this community in, let coaches in, let people weigh in.

1000
00:53:09.920 --> 00:53:14.880
You know, the other, our other sister said, Oh, her pastor is just like, well, this is going too

1001
00:53:14.880 --> 00:53:23.120
fast. You know what? I'll be the judge of that. Because if you're not equipped to take a look at

1002
00:53:23.120 --> 00:53:27.760
this, if you know, I mean, pastors of churches, you know, yeah, they're there to protect you.

1003
00:53:27.760 --> 00:53:32.240
They're shepherds or it's wonderful. But once again, they might not understand the dynamics

1004
00:53:32.240 --> 00:53:38.560
of relationships and romantic relationships, and you need someone weighing in that can.

1005
00:53:38.560 --> 00:53:42.720
So you need coaches, you need dating coaches. I mean, would you go to your pastor and say,

1006
00:53:42.720 --> 00:53:48.880
you know, do you think that I should, you know, lift 15 pound dumbbells or 25 pound dumbbells?

1007
00:53:48.880 --> 00:53:56.160
Do you think that I should go 1200 calories or 1600 calories, 170 grams of protein or 102 grams

1008
00:53:56.160 --> 00:54:00.160
of protein a day? They look at you like a cow at a new gate. They don't know the answer unless

1009
00:54:00.160 --> 00:54:06.560
they just happen to be a health coach in a, in a, um, you know, workout coach, a fitness,

1010
00:54:06.560 --> 00:54:10.960
fitness coach. So just because they're your pastor doesn't mean they know everything. Yes,

1011
00:54:10.960 --> 00:54:16.320
they're there to protect you. And I'm not saying you shouldn't listen to them, but if you know

1012
00:54:16.320 --> 00:54:21.120
more than they do about the person that they're weighing in on, then you need to make sure that

1013
00:54:21.120 --> 00:54:27.040
you're also trusting that you're God defended. Okay. Important. Okay. I'm going to take, um,

1014
00:54:27.040 --> 00:54:30.560
two more of these really quick and I'll let you guys ask more questions.

1015
00:54:30.560 --> 00:54:33.280
I'm going to take a guy, Jason. What's your question?

1016
00:54:38.960 --> 00:54:43.120
Gray zone, Jason. Is that a, well, actually we're talking about the 90 day framework.

1017
00:54:43.120 --> 00:54:43.920
What's your question?

1018
00:54:48.160 --> 00:54:53.760
Maybe Jason had his hand up for a different reason. All right. So let's go to Lydia.

1019
00:54:55.840 --> 00:54:59.840
Okay. So I guess my question is say you get to the end of the first 30.

1020
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:03.720
days and you've only had like two dates and you're like, I still haven't spent

1021
00:55:03.720 --> 00:55:07.840
enough time around this person to know if there's even chemistry here.

1022
00:55:08.160 --> 00:55:11.120
Like, I guess, what would you, how would you go about that?

1023
00:55:11.720 --> 00:55:12.800
Such a good question.

1024
00:55:12.800 --> 00:55:16.760
So in the clarity phase, that is what you need to have cleared.

1025
00:55:18.080 --> 00:55:21.920
And so what you need to do is you need to say to them, Hey, you know, it's been 30

1026
00:55:21.920 --> 00:55:23.880
days, we've only been on two dates.

1027
00:55:24.000 --> 00:55:28.940
I need us to commit to seeing each other a little more frequently so we can find

1028
00:55:28.940 --> 00:55:30.900
out, you know, what we're doing here.

1029
00:55:31.540 --> 00:55:31.900
Okay.

1030
00:55:32.420 --> 00:55:36.180
And what if it's more just scheduled conflicts that prevent that?

1031
00:55:37.340 --> 00:55:39.020
Is that kind of just the answer there then?

1032
00:55:39.340 --> 00:55:39.860
It did.

1033
00:55:39.900 --> 00:55:41.220
Well, it's the answer.

1034
00:55:41.220 --> 00:55:44.060
If they keep canceling on you, the answer is they don't got room in

1035
00:55:44.060 --> 00:55:45.300
their life for a relationship.

1036
00:55:46.860 --> 00:55:47.340
Right.

1037
00:55:47.500 --> 00:55:50.620
And you can let them know that before you cut them off the roster, you can say,

1038
00:55:50.620 --> 00:55:55.020
Hey, I'm really enjoying our time together, but I feel like it's been 30 days and I

1039
00:55:55.020 --> 00:55:56.620
still don't really know you that well.

1040
00:55:56.780 --> 00:55:58.660
So are you still interested in getting to know me?

1041
00:55:58.660 --> 00:56:03.220
And if you are, I'm going to need you to make some more room for me in your life.

1042
00:56:03.220 --> 00:56:03.740
And guess what?

1043
00:56:03.740 --> 00:56:06.260
Friends, if they think that's too high maintenance, if they think that's too

1044
00:56:06.260 --> 00:56:08.300
much to ask, then you have your answer.

1045
00:56:09.540 --> 00:56:16.780
Just so you guys know, a lot of people break up with a potential that they're

1046
00:56:16.780 --> 00:56:19.780
dating in the second 31 to 60 day.

1047
00:56:20.180 --> 00:56:21.340
That's why it's called clarity.

1048
00:56:23.140 --> 00:56:24.420
Clarity is kindness, right?

1049
00:56:24.420 --> 00:56:25.500
We hear that all the time.

1050
00:56:26.260 --> 00:56:27.940
This is where the rubber meets the road.

1051
00:56:27.940 --> 00:56:31.900
This is where you're going to decide to move forward into hopefully exclusivity

1052
00:56:32.180 --> 00:56:35.660
and a marriage minded courtship, or you're going to decide to go separate

1053
00:56:35.660 --> 00:56:38.980
ways, not because you're a bad person or they're a bad person, but because

1054
00:56:39.140 --> 00:56:40.980
it just isn't coming together.

1055
00:56:41.260 --> 00:56:42.060
They're not ready.

1056
00:56:42.060 --> 00:56:42.980
You're not ready.

1057
00:56:43.380 --> 00:56:48.100
The first 30, 45 days showed you something where it's incompatible.

1058
00:56:48.300 --> 00:56:51.620
This also is where you're going to be paying attention to your non-negotiables.

1059
00:56:51.940 --> 00:56:55.260
When you get to the clarity stage, you're going to have to really get honest with

1060
00:56:55.260 --> 00:56:59.060
yourself about whether this person is exhibiting your non-negotiables or not.

1061
00:57:00.420 --> 00:57:04.820
And if they aren't, then there's probably going to be a deal breaker

1062
00:57:04.820 --> 00:57:07.660
somewhere in that framework.

1063
00:57:08.060 --> 00:57:08.380
Okay.

1064
00:57:08.380 --> 00:57:10.420
Somewhere in that part of the framework.

1065
00:57:10.780 --> 00:57:11.300
Okay.

1066
00:57:11.540 --> 00:57:14.820
Is it Renee or Renee, right?

1067
00:57:14.860 --> 00:57:15.300
Renee?

1068
00:57:15.980 --> 00:57:16.540
It's Renee.

1069
00:57:17.340 --> 00:57:17.740
Okay.

1070
00:57:18.540 --> 00:57:21.220
I have a, I have a male client whose name is Renee and I didn't

1071
00:57:21.220 --> 00:57:22.380
know if that was him or not.

1072
00:57:22.420 --> 00:57:22.700
Okay.

1073
00:57:22.700 --> 00:57:23.060
Hi.

1074
00:57:23.620 --> 00:57:23.900
Hi.

1075
00:57:24.540 --> 00:57:29.180
Um, so my question is actually on the non-negotiables.

1076
00:57:29.180 --> 00:57:33.980
How do you get clarity when you're kind of trying to see if your

1077
00:57:33.980 --> 00:57:38.940
non-negotiables are part of maybe an old belief system or, um, would

1078
00:57:38.940 --> 00:57:41.100
you ask your advisory circle?

1079
00:57:42.460 --> 00:57:44.420
Yeah, this is you guys, this is really important.

1080
00:57:44.420 --> 00:57:46.900
So if you're in last year single, you can ask your coaches

1081
00:57:46.900 --> 00:57:47.980
that have gotten to know you.

1082
00:57:48.500 --> 00:57:51.780
You know, you can ask them, Hey, what do you see in this behavior in this pattern?

1083
00:57:52.020 --> 00:57:55.340
If you have a really great advisory circle, then you're going to say, Hey,

1084
00:57:55.340 --> 00:58:01.260
you know, what blind spots do you see me continuing to exhibit in my love life?

1085
00:58:01.260 --> 00:58:03.700
You know, give them permission to speak into your life.

1086
00:58:04.020 --> 00:58:09.380
Ask them a very, a very, um, pointed question.

1087
00:58:09.820 --> 00:58:11.900
Do you think that I'm doing this?

1088
00:58:12.500 --> 00:58:15.260
Do you think that, okay, this scenario keeps happening?

1089
00:58:15.260 --> 00:58:16.220
Do you think it's me?

1090
00:58:16.420 --> 00:58:18.860
You have to give them permission to tell you the truth.

1091
00:58:19.220 --> 00:58:21.700
And hopefully you shouldn't be putting anyone on your advisory

1092
00:58:21.700 --> 00:58:24.860
committee circle that you don't trust to tell you the truth.

1093
00:58:26.420 --> 00:58:28.220
Okay, cool.

1094
00:58:28.300 --> 00:58:29.180
What is it that you do?

1095
00:58:36.980 --> 00:58:37.460
Are you there?

1096
00:58:43.220 --> 00:58:43.820
Can you hear me?

1097
00:58:43.820 --> 00:58:45.100
Y'all, did we just lose the plot?

1098
00:58:45.140 --> 00:58:45.700
Can you hear me?

1099
00:58:47.380 --> 00:58:48.740
Give me a thumbs up if you can hear me.

1100
00:58:48.780 --> 00:58:49.060
Okay.

1101
00:58:49.100 --> 00:58:49.820
I think I'm back.

1102
00:58:50.140 --> 00:58:50.580
I'm sorry.

1103
00:58:50.580 --> 00:58:51.380
Renee, there you are.

1104
00:58:51.420 --> 00:58:54.660
I was, what is, what is the behavior in question?

1105
00:58:56.100 --> 00:59:02.380
So, um, I've been just chatting with a gentleman who's a three Ms and he is

1106
00:59:02.420 --> 00:59:06.980
also, he's Catholic and so I've had questioning about our different belief

1107
00:59:06.980 --> 00:59:13.780
systems and also he, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a

1108
00:59:13.780 --> 00:59:19.020
he, he works for the parks, which is totally me, I'm outdoorsy, but I'm also

1109
00:59:19.220 --> 00:59:26.500
like very, um, like conspiracy theorists and like all the, all the things.

1110
00:59:26.500 --> 00:59:32.260
And so I'm, I'm like, I don't even know if we're actually compatible

1111
00:59:32.260 --> 00:59:38.460
in a lot of these like core ways, but he's enjoyable and our

1112
00:59:38.460 --> 00:59:40.820
communication has been well right now.

1113
00:59:40.820 --> 00:59:44.620
He, um, I live in Nebraska and he moved up to Montana just

1114
00:59:44.620 --> 00:59:45.980
for the summer to take a job.

1115
00:59:45.980 --> 00:59:51.100
So we're kinda, you know, and especially when I'm doing this book club, I'm not

1116
00:59:51.100 --> 00:59:55.740
dating right now, I'm taking a little break just to kind of solidify some

1117
00:59:55.740 --> 00:59:58.620
things and get more community involved.

1118
00:59:58.660 --> 00:59:59.940
But, um, but.

1119
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:04.000
he seems like a different pattern for me in a very healthy way too.

1120
01:00:04.720 --> 01:00:09.400
So I don't want to, I don't want to ruin it by saying, by thinking,

1121
01:00:10.080 --> 01:00:14.180
Oh, it's probably not going to work out because a guy that would be healthy for

1122
01:00:14.180 --> 01:00:16.920
me just wouldn't be compatible if that makes sense.

1123
01:00:18.400 --> 01:00:22.120
Yeah. You know, and, and here's the thing, all of you, please listen to this.

1124
01:00:22.120 --> 01:00:23.800
You're not looking for your twin out there.

1125
01:00:23.800 --> 01:00:26.400
You're not looking for someone who thinks just like you do,

1126
01:00:26.600 --> 01:00:28.760
who believes everything exactly like you do.

1127
01:00:28.760 --> 01:00:30.560
You're looking for a complimentary opposite.

1128
01:00:30.560 --> 01:00:32.680
You're looking for someone who will allow you to be yourself,

1129
01:00:32.960 --> 01:00:36.640
but also will allow you to grow and vice versa, right?

1130
01:00:36.680 --> 01:00:38.500
Someone who wants to grow. Now,

1131
01:00:38.500 --> 01:00:41.520
your non-negotiable should be the things that are deal breakers,

1132
01:00:41.520 --> 01:00:44.780
because you absolutely know that you cannot live with someone who does those

1133
01:00:44.780 --> 01:00:46.240
things or doesn't do those things.

1134
01:00:46.640 --> 01:00:51.200
You cannot be with someone who doesn't have that character trait or does have

1135
01:00:51.200 --> 01:00:52.120
that character trait.

1136
01:00:52.440 --> 01:00:56.760
So that needs to be the deal breaker.

1137
01:00:57.320 --> 01:01:01.440
Okay. Or the decider in every single relationship,

1138
01:01:01.440 --> 01:01:04.480
the non-negotiables the preferences like, you know,

1139
01:01:04.480 --> 01:01:08.560
that they would maybe like the same things that you do or have the same hobbies

1140
01:01:08.560 --> 01:01:11.560
and all that. That's just gravy on top. Okay.

1141
01:01:12.400 --> 01:01:15.960
Now, if you're an outdoors person and you live outside,

1142
01:01:15.960 --> 01:01:18.960
like you literally are touching grass every single day,

1143
01:01:19.200 --> 01:01:22.760
you cannot marry someone who doesn't know what grass is. Okay.

1144
01:01:23.400 --> 01:01:27.200
They don't, right. They're just sitting inside.

1145
01:01:27.520 --> 01:01:30.760
The only thing that they touch is carpet or hardwood floor.

1146
01:01:31.200 --> 01:01:34.560
That is not going to be a long-term compatibility for sure.

1147
01:01:34.560 --> 01:01:37.040
So that should be on your deal breaker list.

1148
01:01:37.600 --> 01:01:40.920
They have to be someone who is loves nature.

1149
01:01:40.920 --> 01:01:44.760
Someone who wants to be outside, live an outdoor lifestyle. You're like, Jackie,

1150
01:01:44.760 --> 01:01:48.480
why isn't that a preference? Because that is a lifestyle.

1151
01:01:48.500 --> 01:01:51.920
Do you guys understand the difference? It's a lifestyle.

1152
01:01:53.120 --> 01:01:56.480
Okay. Okay. All right, Renee, that's good.

1153
01:01:56.480 --> 01:02:00.000
It sounds promising. And I like that you guys have put a little space.

1154
01:02:01.640 --> 01:02:04.800
He's doing something for the summer. You're taking this,

1155
01:02:04.800 --> 01:02:06.080
you're on a little sabbatical.

1156
01:02:06.280 --> 01:02:11.360
I think that a lot of clarity comes when we have some chemistry with people,

1157
01:02:11.520 --> 01:02:16.000
but we put a little space in to see if that chemistry can survive that.

1158
01:02:16.040 --> 01:02:20.400
Makes sense. Okay. All right.

1159
01:02:20.560 --> 01:02:23.440
I see lots of questions about jumping over in a last year single.

1160
01:02:23.440 --> 01:02:28.280
You guys will get a series of four to five emails that will talk to you about

1161
01:02:28.280 --> 01:02:32.920
what is on the other side of that offer. $37 to jump in a last year single.

1162
01:02:33.160 --> 01:02:35.240
You will, if you do sign up,

1163
01:02:35.240 --> 01:02:39.800
need to put in the email address that you registered for this book club.

1164
01:02:41.080 --> 01:02:43.200
Cause this is a special offer. It's not just for anybody.

1165
01:02:43.600 --> 01:02:46.800
So don't try to send this offer to your girlfriend, your guy friend,

1166
01:02:46.840 --> 01:02:47.880
cause they won't be able to get it.

1167
01:02:48.520 --> 01:02:53.320
That's why we ask you when you're registering for this in that email that

1168
01:02:53.320 --> 01:02:57.520
you'll get one of four or five emails that you'll get it to take advantage of

1169
01:02:57.520 --> 01:02:58.040
this offer.

1170
01:02:58.040 --> 01:03:00.960
You'll have to put in the email address that you use to register for this book

1171
01:03:00.960 --> 01:03:04.760
club and that will allow you to have that special offer. Okay. All right.

1172
01:03:05.320 --> 01:03:07.480
All right. I'm going to put you guys in breakouts.

1173
01:03:07.480 --> 01:03:09.400
I'm going to send you into groups of three and four,

1174
01:03:09.400 --> 01:03:10.920
and here's why you're going there.

1175
01:03:11.720 --> 01:03:16.680
Each person is going to talk about what is on the other side of that

1176
01:03:16.840 --> 01:03:17.520
break.

1177
01:03:17.520 --> 01:03:22.520
And then you're going to talk about one thing that has shipwrecked you in the

1178
01:03:22.520 --> 01:03:26.960
past. When it comes to this 90 day framework, you either rush real quick,

1179
01:03:27.880 --> 01:03:30.680
you just rush all the way to, I like you. I want to be with you.

1180
01:03:30.680 --> 01:03:34.280
Be my boyfriend. I love you. Be my girlfriend. Marry me. Okay.

1181
01:03:34.880 --> 01:03:39.680
And, or you just never can make up your mind because you're just always like,

1182
01:03:39.680 --> 01:03:41.400
what if there's something better?

1183
01:03:41.960 --> 01:03:44.600
Maybe you're the kind of person who can never ask what you want.

1184
01:03:44.640 --> 01:03:48.320
You over-function. You do everything for them.

1185
01:03:48.320 --> 01:03:49.760
You try to make it super easy.

1186
01:03:49.760 --> 01:03:52.280
You got the chill girl or the passive guy script running.

1187
01:03:52.560 --> 01:03:56.440
What do you do in the first 90 days of getting to know someone?

1188
01:03:56.720 --> 01:04:00.600
Do you become clingy and needy? Do you become kind of avoidant? Like, Oh,

1189
01:04:00.600 --> 01:04:03.480
I'm not going to let you in. You have to chase me and pursue me.

1190
01:04:03.680 --> 01:04:08.680
What do you do that causes either things to go on way too long than it should

1191
01:04:08.800 --> 01:04:11.960
have? Because you should have ended things with them on the third date,

1192
01:04:12.600 --> 01:04:17.600
or you never even make it to the third date because of another behavior that you

1193
01:04:17.600 --> 01:04:21.560
got going on. All right. So just share briefly with each other.

1194
01:04:21.640 --> 01:04:26.160
I'm just giving you guys an opportunity to get to know each other a little bit

1195
01:04:26.160 --> 01:04:27.000
more.

1196
01:04:35.080 --> 01:04:35.920
All right.

1197
01:04:39.680 --> 01:04:43.240
You're going to have a little thing pop up on your zoom that says enter the

1198
01:04:43.240 --> 01:04:45.320
breakout room. Click that link.

1199
01:05:30.000 --> 01:05:50.000
Thank you.

1200
01:05:50.000 --> 01:06:16.980
All right, friends, as you're coming back in, make sure that you're muted.

1201
01:06:16.980 --> 01:06:36.980
You might still be unmuted from being in your breakout room.

1202
01:06:36.980 --> 01:06:55.820
All right, all right, welcome back.

1203
01:06:55.820 --> 01:07:00.620
Hopefully you guys had some really good things to share with each other and you're getting

1204
01:07:00.620 --> 01:07:06.500
some breakthrough from our recap of the homework.

1205
01:07:06.500 --> 01:07:13.980
Okay, so now we're going to head into what I have believed and is probably the most important

1206
01:07:13.980 --> 01:07:17.360
thing behind our last year single community.

1207
01:07:17.360 --> 01:07:21.460
What you make happen for others, God makes happen for you.

1208
01:07:21.460 --> 01:07:22.600
Is it a prerequisite?

1209
01:07:22.600 --> 01:07:27.060
Does it mean that if you don't do nice things for others, that God won't bless you?

1210
01:07:27.060 --> 01:07:33.660
No, your blessings and your prosperity and your, you know, access to abundance is based

1211
01:07:33.660 --> 01:07:34.940
on the finished work of the cross.

1212
01:07:34.940 --> 01:07:38.300
It's not based on works, okay?

1213
01:07:38.300 --> 01:07:44.180
But I will tell you that if you have an abundant mindset, if you truly have an abundant mindset,

1214
01:07:44.180 --> 01:07:48.200
if you're not dealing with a scarcity mindset, and I'm not talking about the scarcity script

1215
01:07:48.200 --> 01:07:49.660
from week one.

1216
01:07:49.660 --> 01:07:54.380
If you're not dealing with a poverty mindset, a scarcity mindset, an orphan mindset, if

1217
01:07:54.380 --> 01:07:59.580
you really do believe that there's more than enough to go around, then you won't have any

1218
01:07:59.580 --> 01:08:08.420
problem promoting the goodwill of others, promoting the abundance of others, helping

1219
01:08:08.420 --> 01:08:14.220
them, connecting them, giving them opportunities.

1220
01:08:14.220 --> 01:08:17.460
The best connectors out there, and I don't mean matchmakers, and I'm not just talking

1221
01:08:17.460 --> 01:08:19.720
about love lives.

1222
01:08:19.720 --> 01:08:25.420
The most beautiful people that will connect you, the people that will say, Oh yeah, you

1223
01:08:25.420 --> 01:08:26.819
got a, you got a leaky pipe.

1224
01:08:26.819 --> 01:08:28.620
I know a guy, you know?

1225
01:08:28.660 --> 01:08:31.300
Oh, you got your car, your car's broken.

1226
01:08:31.300 --> 01:08:32.300
You need to fix.

1227
01:08:32.300 --> 01:08:33.939
I know somebody.

1228
01:08:33.939 --> 01:08:35.700
Let me connect you.

1229
01:08:35.700 --> 01:08:37.380
What are they doing?

1230
01:08:37.380 --> 01:08:45.819
They are connecting one person that needs something to another person who has that thing,

1231
01:08:45.819 --> 01:08:47.399
right?

1232
01:08:47.399 --> 01:08:50.700
Do they get anything out of it?

1233
01:08:50.700 --> 01:08:52.460
No.

1234
01:08:52.460 --> 01:08:57.340
Except the knowledge that they helped this person get some business and this person get

1235
01:08:57.340 --> 01:09:00.899
a need or problem solved.

1236
01:09:00.899 --> 01:09:06.939
Oh, you, you have a, you have something going on with your thyroid.

1237
01:09:06.939 --> 01:09:07.939
Yeah.

1238
01:09:07.939 --> 01:09:10.979
My friend, my friend had that problem too.

1239
01:09:10.979 --> 01:09:12.340
She solved that problem somehow.

1240
01:09:12.340 --> 01:09:13.340
I don't know.

1241
01:09:13.340 --> 01:09:14.979
She took some vitamin or she talked to some doctor.

1242
01:09:14.979 --> 01:09:15.979
Yeah.

1243
01:09:15.979 --> 01:09:20.779
Let me connect you to her so you can talk to her and maybe you guys can compare notes

1244
01:09:20.779 --> 01:09:22.060
and help you.

1245
01:09:22.060 --> 01:09:23.660
Oh, you just moved here.

1246
01:09:23.660 --> 01:09:25.340
Oh, you need a good hairstylist.

1247
01:09:25.340 --> 01:09:27.319
My hairstylist is good.

1248
01:09:27.319 --> 01:09:28.319
You need a reference.

1249
01:09:28.319 --> 01:09:29.840
You need a referral for a gym.

1250
01:09:29.840 --> 01:09:30.840
You need this.

1251
01:09:30.840 --> 01:09:31.840
You need that.

1252
01:09:31.840 --> 01:09:34.479
Do you guys see what I'm talking about?

1253
01:09:34.479 --> 01:09:35.479
What are those people doing?

1254
01:09:35.479 --> 01:09:43.479
Those people are genuinely interested in the benefit and the goodwill of other people.

1255
01:09:43.479 --> 01:09:45.240
And those people are blessed.

1256
01:09:45.240 --> 01:09:47.120
It's not because God likes them more.

1257
01:09:47.120 --> 01:09:52.319
It's because give and it shall be given unto you, pressed down, shaken together and running

1258
01:09:52.319 --> 01:09:55.240
over.

1259
01:09:55.240 --> 01:09:58.760
That's why God loves a generous soul, doesn't he?

1260
01:09:58.760 --> 01:10:00.040
Doesn't he love a cheerful giver?

1261
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:06.940
Doesn't he love it? He does. And here's the greatest thing. If you're just a

1262
01:10:06.940 --> 01:10:12.340
generous person who doesn't believe the lie that, oh, if this person gets ahead,

1263
01:10:12.340 --> 01:10:17.100
then there's there's not enough left for me. I can't help this person get a better

1264
01:10:17.100 --> 01:10:20.740
job. I can't help this person get a better car or a better house because

1265
01:10:20.740 --> 01:10:29.280
what about me? That will live, that'll keep you living a small life, a small

1266
01:10:29.280 --> 01:10:37.720
little life. But if you genuinely want to see other people excel, other people

1267
01:10:37.720 --> 01:10:41.220
prosper, other people to be in good health and wealth, other people to be

1268
01:10:41.220 --> 01:10:45.520
happy, you know what happens? It all comes back. And I'm not talking about

1269
01:10:45.520 --> 01:10:53.400
karma. I'm talking about you reap what you sow. I'm talking about the

1270
01:10:53.400 --> 01:11:02.000
universal law that God put into order when he created the world. It's not God

1271
01:11:02.000 --> 01:11:07.400
blessing you. It's the universal law at work in your life. Treat others like you

1272
01:11:07.400 --> 01:11:13.520
want to be treated. Be blessed and you'll be able to be, you know, bless

1273
01:11:13.520 --> 01:11:17.760
others and you'll be, you're blessed and you bless others. You're blessed to be a

1274
01:11:17.760 --> 01:11:26.880
blessing, right? Is that not true? Okay, so that brings me to your love life. That

1275
01:11:26.880 --> 01:11:32.040
brings me to your love life because one area that I've seen people be so stingy,

1276
01:11:32.040 --> 01:11:41.640
so scarcity-minded, so dog-eat-dog, so Hunger Games level selfish, is in this

1277
01:11:41.640 --> 01:11:46.480
area of their lives. And I think it's because you really do believe that it's

1278
01:11:46.480 --> 01:11:51.760
that last roll of toilet paper during COVID. All right? I really do think you

1279
01:11:51.760 --> 01:11:56.560
believe that at some level and I want to let you know that it's not true. It's not

1280
01:11:56.560 --> 01:12:01.480
true. There's more than enough to go around and you only need one. You only

1281
01:12:01.480 --> 01:12:05.920
need one. And guess what? The one that you want, it's not gonna be the same one

1282
01:12:05.920 --> 01:12:14.520
that somebody else wants probably, right? Because they're kind of more in tune

1283
01:12:14.640 --> 01:12:18.600
with you, aren't they? So you don't got to fight for them. And I want to caution

1284
01:12:18.600 --> 01:12:23.120
you, anyone that you might meet that would make you kind of feel scarcity,

1285
01:12:23.120 --> 01:12:27.400
they would feed scarcity. Gentlemen, any woman that you might meet and start

1286
01:12:27.400 --> 01:12:31.640
talking to that tries to make you jealous, immediately know. Immediately know.

1287
01:12:31.640 --> 01:12:39.440
You've seen everything you need to see. Done. Done. What is she trying to do? She's

1288
01:12:39.440 --> 01:12:45.560
trying to show you that she's valuable by making you believe, true or not true,

1289
01:12:45.560 --> 01:12:51.360
that other people want her as well. What is she playing on? She's playing on the

1290
01:12:51.360 --> 01:12:55.840
basest instincts that you have. The most carnal instinct you have of

1291
01:12:55.840 --> 01:13:01.880
competition, of being, of conquering, of winning. And guess what? That is not a

1292
01:13:01.880 --> 01:13:06.920
good woman. That is not the kind of woman that you want to make your wife. It's

1293
01:13:06.920 --> 01:13:16.640
not. It isn't. People that say things like, well, there's a lot of other people

1294
01:13:16.640 --> 01:13:19.920
who want me. You know, you don't want to go out with me or you don't want to go

1295
01:13:19.920 --> 01:13:23.520
out with me Friday night. That's okay. I've got lots of other offers. Well, let

1296
01:13:23.520 --> 01:13:28.600
them go ahead and go out with one of their other offers. Okay? You probably

1297
01:13:28.600 --> 01:13:33.080
dodged a bullet. You guys, can you message in the chat? Because my chat's not

1298
01:13:33.080 --> 01:13:36.440
working right now. I just want to see. I want to see the messages in the chat

1299
01:13:36.440 --> 01:13:43.200
because I'm not seeing any. There they are. Okay. Thank you. You feel what I'm

1300
01:13:43.200 --> 01:13:47.440
saying here? Anyone who tries to make you feel scarcity or that you're in

1301
01:13:47.440 --> 01:13:59.920
competition or urgency or any of that is no good. It's not good. Red flag. Okay. So

1302
01:14:00.400 --> 01:14:03.920
I have seen a lot of scarcity in the mind and hearts of singles. I have seen a

1303
01:14:03.920 --> 01:14:08.680
lot of people who they go on dates and the person is not their person. They're

1304
01:14:08.680 --> 01:14:12.800
not attracted to them or they're not compatible or they're long distance or

1305
01:14:12.800 --> 01:14:16.720
they're shared parenting and they can't move whatever. And they're like, Oh, not

1306
01:14:16.720 --> 01:14:21.920
a match for me. And they just go off. They go off from the date and they never

1307
01:14:21.920 --> 01:14:29.000
consider any of their single friends. They never consider any one else. That

1308
01:14:29.000 --> 01:14:33.120
was a decent person that you met. They weren't a match for you, but are they a

1309
01:14:33.120 --> 01:14:38.600
match for somebody else? You guys, this only works if you're willing to play

1310
01:14:38.600 --> 01:14:43.240
matchmaker. We're only going to have a marriage revival. If you're willing to

1311
01:14:43.240 --> 01:14:48.880
play matchmaker, you might not match dozens and dozens of people. You might

1312
01:14:48.880 --> 01:14:53.120
not call yourself a matchmaker. Like I do. You might not have been matchmaking

1313
01:14:53.120 --> 01:14:57.440
since you were a kid, like I have, but you can still be a matchmaker for

1314
01:14:57.440 --> 01:14:58.040
somebody.

1315
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:02.220
You don't have to call it matchmaking, just call it introductions.

1316
01:15:02.220 --> 01:15:05.400
A lot of people, if they don't have a scarcity mindset,

1317
01:15:05.400 --> 01:15:07.920
and when I say scarcity mindset, you might not even know you have it.

1318
01:15:08.520 --> 01:15:11.240
You just don't think of other people when it comes to your love life.

1319
01:15:11.440 --> 01:15:14.420
It's just all about you. It's all about whether the date worked for you,

1320
01:15:14.420 --> 01:15:15.800
whether the person was right for you.

1321
01:15:15.800 --> 01:15:19.760
You don't ever think about anybody else because you're thinking about you.

1322
01:15:20.520 --> 01:15:21.360
Okay.

1323
01:15:24.120 --> 01:15:27.360
It doesn't, it's no skin off your nose to introduce that person to someone else.

1324
01:15:27.360 --> 01:15:28.440
You don't want them anyway.

1325
01:15:30.000 --> 01:15:34.200
But you can't be bothered because all you want to do is try to find your

1326
01:15:34.200 --> 01:15:36.600
person. Well, this is how you find your person.

1327
01:15:37.920 --> 01:15:41.040
This is how you find your person. Get one, share one.

1328
01:15:41.040 --> 01:15:44.080
This is how you find your person. I can tell you story after story,

1329
01:15:44.080 --> 01:15:48.400
after story, after story, after story. In fact, I'm about to tell you a story.

1330
01:15:48.720 --> 01:15:49.560
How about that?

1331
01:15:51.320 --> 01:15:56.000
So one of my students got married just recently and I congratulated her.

1332
01:15:56.000 --> 01:15:58.800
She, I got a wedding invitation from her. Couldn't go to the wedding.

1333
01:15:59.160 --> 01:16:00.600
And so I congratulated her.

1334
01:16:00.920 --> 01:16:05.120
And this is the response I got from her after I congratulated her.

1335
01:16:05.120 --> 01:16:08.040
This is the message that she sent me. She said, Jackie,

1336
01:16:08.120 --> 01:16:11.160
thank you for letting me be part of your amazing program.

1337
01:16:11.480 --> 01:16:14.880
Here's a quick testimonial. Last May,

1338
01:16:15.000 --> 01:16:18.720
I went to an anniversary party of some of my friends and there was a young man

1339
01:16:18.760 --> 01:16:23.160
from my church that I used to go to years ago.

1340
01:16:23.280 --> 01:16:26.240
He was a small boy when he used to go to church with me.

1341
01:16:26.600 --> 01:16:29.960
I told him and his brothers about last year's single,

1342
01:16:29.960 --> 01:16:32.400
because I thought that maybe I could help find them matches.

1343
01:16:32.400 --> 01:16:35.640
Cause this boy's all grown up now. He's not a boy anymore.

1344
01:16:35.640 --> 01:16:37.600
He's a man and he's all grown up.

1345
01:16:38.360 --> 01:16:42.560
And what happened when she shared last year's single with him and his brothers,

1346
01:16:42.880 --> 01:16:47.640
he turned around and introduced her that same day to his

1347
01:16:47.640 --> 01:16:51.960
coworker, this young man that she knew as a little boy in church,

1348
01:16:52.880 --> 01:16:56.680
introduced her to a man that he worked with. And guess what?

1349
01:16:56.680 --> 01:16:58.280
That's the man that she just married.

1350
01:17:00.240 --> 01:17:05.160
The MC at her wedding and one of the bridesmaids were all part of

1351
01:17:05.160 --> 01:17:08.800
this community as well. That young man became the best man at the wedding.

1352
01:17:09.080 --> 01:17:13.840
Then her matron of honor is the person who introduced her to my

1353
01:17:13.840 --> 01:17:15.400
program in the first place.

1354
01:17:15.640 --> 01:17:19.720
After she did my bride bootcamp and got happily married.

1355
01:17:22.880 --> 01:17:23.720
She said,

1356
01:17:23.720 --> 01:17:28.360
my love story and her love story was a confirmation of your

1357
01:17:28.360 --> 01:17:31.920
prophetic word. Somebody knows somebody who knows your spirit mate.

1358
01:17:32.320 --> 01:17:34.480
And by the way, my husband says, hi.

1359
01:17:36.600 --> 01:17:37.440
Yay.

1360
01:17:38.800 --> 01:17:40.720
Right. Who wants to be part of something like that?

1361
01:17:40.760 --> 01:17:45.680
Who's ready to be part of that, that right there.

1362
01:17:46.120 --> 01:17:48.920
Then you got to stop thinking about just yourself.

1363
01:17:49.280 --> 01:17:51.360
If you go on a date with a decent human being,

1364
01:17:51.480 --> 01:17:54.400
someone who's got their stuff together, but for whatever reason,

1365
01:17:54.400 --> 01:17:56.040
they're just not your person. And you know,

1366
01:17:56.040 --> 01:17:58.760
they're not your person for whatever reason. Okay. It doesn't matter.

1367
01:17:58.760 --> 01:18:01.200
It's a yes until it's a no. And now it's become a, no,

1368
01:18:01.560 --> 01:18:04.360
do not throw that fish back.

1369
01:18:05.880 --> 01:18:08.840
Ladies and gentlemen, do not throw that fish back,

1370
01:18:09.480 --> 01:18:11.600
put that fish right into last year. Single,

1371
01:18:11.600 --> 01:18:14.840
either invite them here or introduce them to someone here or introduce them to

1372
01:18:14.840 --> 01:18:17.480
another single in your life. That isn't part of this community.

1373
01:18:18.480 --> 01:18:22.400
Be the introduction, connect the dots,

1374
01:18:22.680 --> 01:18:26.720
bring it all together, bring it all together. And here's the thing.

1375
01:18:26.720 --> 01:18:28.640
Charlotte says, I just wish I knew some good guys.

1376
01:18:28.640 --> 01:18:30.160
You will know some good guys.

1377
01:18:30.320 --> 01:18:32.640
You're going to be out there with this new framework,

1378
01:18:32.640 --> 01:18:34.680
with this new attitude, with these new tools,

1379
01:18:34.680 --> 01:18:36.920
and you're going to meet lots of people. And guess what?

1380
01:18:36.920 --> 01:18:39.400
You only get one of them. So there's going to be a bunch of them.

1381
01:18:39.400 --> 01:18:40.360
That's not for you.

1382
01:18:43.440 --> 01:18:44.520
But you know what I believe?

1383
01:18:44.720 --> 01:18:47.400
I believe that if you're willing to be used by God in this way,

1384
01:18:47.400 --> 01:18:51.120
if you're willing, say if you, every time you go on a date, say, Hey God,

1385
01:18:51.680 --> 01:18:55.200
if this person's not for me, please show me who I can connect them with.

1386
01:18:55.920 --> 01:18:57.800
Please show me how I can better their life.

1387
01:18:57.960 --> 01:19:00.320
Please show me how I can turn their sails to the wind.

1388
01:19:00.320 --> 01:19:01.520
If they're a good person,

1389
01:19:01.800 --> 01:19:06.600
please put me in the right place at the right time to meet someone that I can

1390
01:19:06.600 --> 01:19:10.440
introduce to one of my brothers and sisters in this beautiful singles community.

1391
01:19:10.760 --> 01:19:12.320
Even if they're not for me, God,

1392
01:19:12.440 --> 01:19:16.840
I would love to be the bridge that brings two people together.

1393
01:19:16.840 --> 01:19:18.360
I would love to be that bridge.

1394
01:19:19.920 --> 01:19:24.520
Can I tell you guys that if all of you sign that

1395
01:19:24.520 --> 01:19:25.440
matchmaking

1396
01:19:29.920 --> 01:19:32.800
oath at the back of the book, sign this oath at the back of the book,

1397
01:19:32.840 --> 01:19:36.640
if all of you really mean it, if you really put it before God and say, Hey,

1398
01:19:36.640 --> 01:19:40.160
I'm willing, I'm willing to be a connector. I'm willing to be a bridge.

1399
01:19:40.440 --> 01:19:42.200
I'm willing to help bring people together.

1400
01:19:42.200 --> 01:19:46.160
I'm willing to be a revivalist in the revival of marriage and family.

1401
01:19:46.360 --> 01:19:48.840
God will start letting your path cross with people.

1402
01:19:50.720 --> 01:19:53.360
And one of those people will end up being your person.

1403
01:19:58.040 --> 01:20:00.040
That's right. Louise is like, I'm a bridge.

1404
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:06.040
Yes, Louisa, if you're a bridge, I'm a bridge.

1405
01:20:06.040 --> 01:20:07.040
If you're a bird, I'm a bird.

1406
01:20:07.040 --> 01:20:09.760
If you're a bridge, I'm a bridge.

1407
01:20:09.760 --> 01:20:13.080
If you're a dot, I'm a dot.

1408
01:20:13.080 --> 01:20:17.240
Teresa's willing to be a bridge.

1409
01:20:17.240 --> 01:20:19.040
Sarah says, that's part of my prayer.

1410
01:20:19.040 --> 01:20:23.060
I want to meet people to introduce my single friends to.

1411
01:20:23.060 --> 01:20:24.920
You guys should be going to so many weddings.

1412
01:20:24.920 --> 01:20:29.920
You guys should be toasting at weddings because you are the person that introduced them.

1413
01:20:29.920 --> 01:20:31.720
You should be eating so much cake.

1414
01:20:31.720 --> 01:20:37.560
You should be dancing so much electric slide.

1415
01:20:37.560 --> 01:20:38.560
Let's go.

1416
01:20:38.560 --> 01:20:45.720
I get at least a handful of wedding invitations every month because I'm a bridge and I can't

1417
01:20:45.720 --> 01:20:48.340
be a bridge all by myself.

1418
01:20:48.340 --> 01:20:55.320
My desire is that this would spark into an even bigger movement than it already is of

1419
01:20:55.320 --> 01:20:59.840
singles that are looking out not just for themselves, but for each other and bringing

1420
01:20:59.840 --> 01:21:04.800
marriage and family back to the forefront.

1421
01:21:04.800 --> 01:21:12.440
All right, I want you to put the name of someone that you would just love to see get married

1422
01:21:12.440 --> 01:21:15.640
and it's not you in the chat right now.

1423
01:21:15.640 --> 01:21:16.640
Come on.

1424
01:21:16.640 --> 01:21:18.040
You would just love to see them get married.

1425
01:21:18.040 --> 01:21:20.340
They so deserve to have a great mate.

1426
01:21:20.340 --> 01:21:22.440
There's such a great and wonderful person.

1427
01:21:22.440 --> 01:21:24.800
You would just love, love, love to see it.

1428
01:21:24.800 --> 01:21:25.800
Let's see it.

1429
01:21:25.800 --> 01:21:26.800
Let's see it.

1430
01:21:26.800 --> 01:21:27.800
Come on, Lord.

1431
01:21:27.800 --> 01:21:29.000
We're putting these names before you.

1432
01:21:29.000 --> 01:21:34.160
Stacey and Paul and Eric and Joanne and Stephanie and Raven and Jill and Celeste and Bryce and

1433
01:21:34.160 --> 01:21:36.200
Donnie and Janae and Dinah and Olivia.

1434
01:21:36.200 --> 01:21:38.240
I see some of you telling each other's names.

1435
01:21:38.240 --> 01:21:39.240
I like that.

1436
01:21:39.240 --> 01:21:40.240
That's so cool.

1437
01:21:40.240 --> 01:21:41.240
That's cool.

1438
01:21:41.240 --> 01:21:45.160
Brantley and Brooke and Deborah and Crystal and Lydia, all of these folks.

1439
01:21:45.160 --> 01:21:46.160
Come on.

1440
01:21:46.160 --> 01:21:48.520
Yes, yes, yes.

1441
01:21:48.520 --> 01:21:49.520
Lydia.

1442
01:21:49.520 --> 01:21:55.560
I hope that you, when you said Lydia, you meant another Lydia and not yourself.

1443
01:21:55.560 --> 01:22:00.240
We'll just go ahead and say that you have a friend named Lydia too.

1444
01:22:00.240 --> 01:22:04.240
You guys, I need you to get, not saying Lydia's doing this because I don't know.

1445
01:22:04.240 --> 01:22:05.560
Maybe she does have a friend named Lydia.

1446
01:22:05.560 --> 01:22:10.800
I need you guys to focus on other folks besides you.

1447
01:22:10.800 --> 01:22:13.920
A lot of you have been focused on your own love life for a really long time.

1448
01:22:13.920 --> 01:22:17.120
How far has that gotten you, friend?

1449
01:22:17.120 --> 01:22:18.880
How far has it gotten you?

1450
01:22:19.640 --> 01:22:21.040
Maybe it's time to do something different.

1451
01:22:21.040 --> 01:22:24.520
Maybe it's time to try something different.

1452
01:22:24.520 --> 01:22:27.040
Let's try something different here.

1453
01:22:27.040 --> 01:22:30.160
Yes, Shana and Toby, Maryland.

1454
01:22:30.160 --> 01:22:31.600
I second that emotion.

1455
01:22:31.600 --> 01:22:33.400
I know both of those cheeky mamas.

1456
01:22:33.400 --> 01:22:34.400
All right.

1457
01:22:34.400 --> 01:22:36.400
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

1458
01:22:36.400 --> 01:22:37.400
All right.

1459
01:22:37.400 --> 01:22:40.480
We're going to do a speed round now, friends.

1460
01:22:40.480 --> 01:22:44.560
I'm going to put you into a whole bunch of breakouts, okay, so that you can just meet

1461
01:22:44.560 --> 01:22:46.120
new people.

1462
01:22:46.120 --> 01:22:49.560
And all you're going to do is just pray over each other very quickly that God would send

1463
01:22:49.560 --> 01:22:52.560
those people their spirit mate, all right?

1464
01:22:52.560 --> 01:22:53.560
Very quickly.

1465
01:22:53.560 --> 01:22:56.560
I'm going to just keep putting you with more and more and more people, all right?

1466
01:22:56.560 --> 01:23:06.180
So we're going to just recreate some breakout rooms right now, recreate, recreate, all right?

1467
01:23:06.180 --> 01:23:10.120
And then I'm just going to continue to bring you back, put you out, bring you back, put

1468
01:23:10.120 --> 01:23:11.320
you out, all right?

1469
01:23:11.320 --> 01:23:12.320
And here we go.

1470
01:24:42.360 --> 01:24:43.360
All right.

1471
01:24:43.360 --> 01:24:45.120
Welcome back, everybody.

1472
01:24:45.120 --> 01:24:47.080
We're just going to wrap up now.

1473
01:24:47.080 --> 01:24:50.080
I hope you enjoyed the modern dating sucks book club.

1474
01:24:50.080 --> 01:24:51.780
I definitely enjoyed it.

1475
01:24:51.780 --> 01:24:56.940
Um, I do believe that this is going to give way to a summer of love for so many of you.

1476
01:24:56.940 --> 01:24:58.240
And that's what I just pray for you.

1477
01:24:58.240 --> 01:24:59.240
In Jesus Christ.

1478
01:24:59.240 --> 01:25:00.240
Yes, Jesus.

1479
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:02.260
for each and every one of you right now,

1480
01:25:00.240 --> 01:25:01.240
Amen.

1481
01:25:01.240 --> 01:25:02.240
Amen.

1482
01:25:02.240 --> 01:25:03.240
Amen.

1483
01:25:02.260 --> 01:25:04.180
that you would have divine appointments,

1484
01:25:03.240 --> 01:25:04.240
Amen.

1485
01:25:04.180 --> 01:25:07.180
that you would be led in alignment with God's goodness

1486
01:25:04.240 --> 01:25:05.240
Amen.

1487
01:25:05.240 --> 01:25:05.240


1488
01:25:07.180 --> 01:25:10.120
and his love for you, his will over your life.

1489
01:25:10.120 --> 01:25:12.540
I wanna remind you that the desire that you have

1490
01:25:12.540 --> 01:25:16.060
in your heart to be matched, to be partnered

1491
01:25:16.060 --> 01:25:17.340
does not come from you.

1492
01:25:17.340 --> 01:25:19.900
It comes from your creator.

1493
01:25:19.900 --> 01:25:23.820
You've been hardwired to desire partnership.

1494
01:25:23.820 --> 01:25:27.420
You've been hardwired to desire family and marriage.

1495
01:25:27.420 --> 01:25:29.200
And so Lord, we thank you that you've given us

1496
01:25:29.200 --> 01:25:32.040
this beautiful desire and that we will no longer

1497
01:25:32.040 --> 01:25:35.820
have our hope deferred, but we will step into

1498
01:25:35.820 --> 01:25:37.640
the love stories that you have for us.

1499
01:25:37.640 --> 01:25:40.440
And we are going to make those things happen

1500
01:25:40.440 --> 01:25:44.360
for each other and for others that are not here tonight.

1501
01:25:44.360 --> 01:25:46.320
We desire to be used.

1502
01:25:46.320 --> 01:25:49.400
Your word says, my people will be made willing

1503
01:25:49.400 --> 01:25:51.920
to be made willing in the day of my power.

1504
01:25:51.920 --> 01:25:54.580
And so we declare that this is the day of your power.

1505
01:25:54.580 --> 01:25:57.260
This is the time when you are doing things

1506
01:25:57.260 --> 01:25:59.980
that go exceedingly abundantly above all we can ask,

1507
01:25:59.980 --> 01:26:03.580
think or imagine in areas where we have never had success,

1508
01:26:03.580 --> 01:26:05.140
where we've never had breakthrough.

1509
01:26:05.140 --> 01:26:07.380
And so Lord, we thank you right now.

1510
01:26:07.380 --> 01:26:10.860
We thank you right now, Lord, for all of those things.

1511
01:26:10.860 --> 01:26:14.060
And we ask God that you would do it in Jesus' name.

1512
01:26:14.060 --> 01:26:15.900
Amen.

1513
01:26:15.900 --> 01:26:16.740
All right.

1514
01:26:19.060 --> 01:26:19.900
Clickety clackety clack.

1515
01:26:19.900 --> 01:26:21.420
Thank you, Jackie.

1516
01:26:21.420 --> 01:26:22.260
Thank you, Jackie.

1517
01:26:22.260 --> 01:26:24.420
All right, now listen, last year's single,

1518
01:26:24.420 --> 01:26:26.960
for those of you that are not part of last year's single,

1519
01:26:27.660 --> 01:26:30.040
this is your opportunity to join a community

1520
01:26:30.040 --> 01:26:33.560
that is going to continue to keep this momentum going.

1521
01:26:33.560 --> 01:26:35.000
I believe every single one of you

1522
01:26:35.000 --> 01:26:38.580
can have your summer of love, all right?

1523
01:26:38.580 --> 01:26:41.080
Every single one of you can have that summer of love,

1524
01:26:41.080 --> 01:26:44.040
but you cannot have that summer of love

1525
01:26:44.040 --> 01:26:46.260
unless you stay focused on it.

1526
01:26:46.260 --> 01:26:48.400
So if you don't think you can stay focused on your own,

1527
01:26:48.400 --> 01:26:50.120
if you don't think that you can stay in alignment

1528
01:26:50.120 --> 01:26:51.560
on your own, then this is definitely

1529
01:26:51.560 --> 01:26:53.440
an amazing opportunity for you.

1530
01:26:53.440 --> 01:26:55.560
I believe everyone needs a community around them

1531
01:26:55.560 --> 01:26:57.880
to keep them focused, to keep them aligned.

1532
01:26:57.880 --> 01:27:00.320
And so here is your opportunity.

1533
01:27:00.320 --> 01:27:01.360
Look for those emails.

1534
01:27:01.360 --> 01:27:03.400
Make sure you put in the same email address

1535
01:27:03.400 --> 01:27:04.800
that you used to get this book.

1536
01:27:04.800 --> 01:27:06.880
Friends, we do have another book club.

1537
01:27:06.880 --> 01:27:08.080
Share it with someone.

1538
01:27:08.080 --> 01:27:09.840
Remember, what we help make happen for others,

1539
01:27:09.840 --> 01:27:11.280
God makes happen for us.

1540
01:27:11.280 --> 01:27:13.760
So share it with somebody else.

1541
01:27:13.760 --> 01:27:16.640
These replays in the app will be available

1542
01:27:16.640 --> 01:27:18.160
for the next 60 days.

1543
01:27:18.160 --> 01:27:21.160
So make sure that you are taking advantage of that

1544
01:27:21.160 --> 01:27:23.240
before it disappears, and you can continue

1545
01:27:23.240 --> 01:27:24.940
to ask questions in there as well,

1546
01:27:25.380 --> 01:27:27.060
because we will be answering those questions.

1547
01:27:27.060 --> 01:27:28.240
All right, sound good?

1548
01:27:28.240 --> 01:27:30.100
All right, everyone, see you soon.

1549
01:27:30.100 --> 01:27:31.500
Bye-bye.

1550
01:27:31.500 --> 01:27:32.340
Thank you.