Hello. Good evening. Happy Monday. Welcome, welcome. If you're new and you're joining
us for the first time, we'd love for you to put that in the chat for us so we can welcome
you. Welcome back to all my ladies that have been here before. We'd love to invite all
of you as always to come on screen so that I can see you, that the other sisters can
see you. Hi, Debra. I thought you looked like a new lovely face. Welcome for your first
live session and to the community as well. We're so glad to have you here with us. And
as you all continue, let's see, Diana is new as well. Welcome, Diana. Anna is her first
time connecting week one of heartwork. Hello, Anna. Welcome. All right. Just waiting for
some ladies that are able to also join us on screen. So why do we do that? Remember,
ladies, we're coming out of hiding in this season as we do our heartwork. And so showing
up online, kind of planning for that ahead of time would be really good. In the future,
I know that we all have really busy lives. I do too. But just like I'm showing up on
screen so you can see me as I coach you. I love to see you while you're here. Now, obviously,
that's not a guilt thing or to shame you. I know some of you might be at work listening.
There might be people driving or you might be eating. I totally get it. But I do want
you all to try to plan as much as possible to be here on live camera with us when we
go live, whether it's 1 p.m. or 8 p.m. as much as you can. All right. So some additional
housekeeping items for us tonight. So one of the big things I try to circle back to
this every couple of weeks, and it's important in this process, is that we don't want to
just sign up. We want to show up. And that's in everything in our lives. And I find myself
struggling with this as well. I even bought a little mini course on how to do some social
media Instagram reels that are kind of the ones that are getting people's clicks and
all that lately. Signed up for that two days ago, and I have yet to log in and check that
out. So I know it's a real struggle in our world because there's so much information.
There's so many distractions. I'm reading a book right now. How to, what does it say?
How to lead in a world of distraction. And it's really interesting how much I've been
distracted from reading the book. So I want you to know that I get it, and I'm here with
you in it. But when we show up for ourselves, that's when we can really experience the heart
change that is needed. In this season, God led you here so that you could get breakthrough
so that your life doesn't stay the same that it's been. Whatever cycle, habit, or hangup
that you're trying to break free from, even if you came in here for your love story, we
know that the love story is the cherry on top. So we believe that all the other transformation
that you're about to receive or are receiving, that's the core stuff, the reason why God
led you here. So show up for yourself because you matter. You are your best investment.
So however much you put into this is what you're going to get out of it. Promise you
that. All right. So we want to encourage you, as I was saying about the screens come
out of hiding. It's not just about screens. It's about posting. It's about interacting
with the team, with the content, with each other, asking questions. Don't, there is never
a silly or dumb question. Just okay, ladies, so just get that out of your minds. Anytime
you have questions, you might not understand something that's being asked in the coursework.
You might not understand something we say during the live session. You might not understand
something that the Lord is revealing to you. So the best thing you can do is come into
the group, ask us about it, let myself and the team come around you and answer those
for you and help you go on your way a little more successful. All right. Heart posture
is also really key in this. And I love to talk about this very briefly because in the
heart healing journey, we want to remain teachable. No matter how much counseling you've got,
no matter if you have a counseling, coaching, psychology degree, no matter if you've been
in ministry your entire life, you're prophetic, whatever your role is, maybe you don't do
any of those things, but you're super successful boss, babe, teacher, stay at home mom, whatever
that looks like for you. A lot of times what can happen is people come into this community
and they think they have all the answers already. I've already, I've actually had people tell
me I've already learned this somewhere else. Well, there might be similarities and some
of the content for those of you that have been through extensive heart healing programs,
but I promise you if you will remain teachable and open, there is a supernatural grace and
blessing on this program that I have not experienced anywhere else. And I'm not just saying that
because I coach here. I've gone through the program, went through this program back in
2021. I'm one of the success stories from the program. I've been married almost four
years and I've been coaching with this group and an organization for
Let's see, 2026 was five years, so five years exactly in May.
And so it's been a good run and I have seen pretty much everything at this point.
So I'm here to cheer you on, but I'm also going to be here to encourage you to let go
of potentially stubborn heart attitudes at times.
We don't need, you know, this is the thing, we don't know what we don't know.
And sometimes we can't see what is causing us to be stuck, but God will bring the teacher.
Remember when the students are ready, the teacher arrives.
Well, in different seasons, when we enter that kind of space and there's a grace on
it, God is going to try to get to us what we need, where maybe we haven't been able
to receive it or hear it before.
So stay open, let go of any stubborn like mindsets, heart postures, and even, hey, being
easily offended.
Let's let go of that.
Let's let go all that here in the heart work and beyond, because you all, we have so much
happening in the world.
If we allow it, we could easily get offended every single day and just be mad all the time.
But God has called us to be different.
He called us to be a light.
You know, that city set on a hill, right?
So this is a part of it.
We learn how to heal.
We learn how to grow.
We learn how to respond versus react.
Okay?
So that's going to be a part of your journey as well.
Replays.
If you didn't know, there's a replay tab in the Last Year Single app.
When you click on that, the replays that are going to be there are things like Supernatural
Saturday.
We had a prophetic ministry night last night.
Totally awesome.
I think, not just because I was leading it, but God just really showed up pretty cool
ways.
That replay should be there for you today.
If it's not already, it will be.
And then also, live sessions like this, the heart check-in.
And then you'll find your coursework under the Courses tab.
Okay?
So if you're not sure where to find that, you're going to click on that Courses tab.
Everything will be there.
When you go to create a post in the group, you're going to click on the Community tab
and create a post.
If you just have a question for the coaches, if you click the Ask a Coach tab, that will
kind of put it in a little different area for it.
We check all the tabs, just so you all know.
But sometimes that can kind of get it in front of us a little quicker if you have a question.
All right.
So let's pray for us.
And we're going to jump into our content for tonight.
Father, thank you so much for this amazing night to be here with all of these women.
God, I thank you that you've called them here for such a time as this.
God, I know that each one of us has had journeys long before we came to this point.
God, you know it all.
You know the hard things, the impossible things.
You know the victories along the way.
God, you know all the people that were involved in every story, every setback, every wrong
decision.
God, we thank you for grace.
God, we thank you for the power of your Spirit that's so efficient, that's here with us tonight.
God, that you are the amazing grace that washes over us, that you set us free.
God, we thank you for just binding and breaking every attack of the enemy, that you would
just remove guilt, remove shame.
God, that you would enlighten us and bring those things that are in darkness to the light.
Help us to hear what your Spirit is saying loud and clear.
God, I thank you for aha moments and quick connections in the spirit realm tonight, that
you would help us to overcome fear, anxiety, dread, panic disorders.
God, that you would help us to understand where the root of these things has began in
us so that we can break free, that we can replace the lies with the truth.
We just thank you, Holy Spirit, for being here to make it all possible, that you are
our helper, you're our guide, and you're our ever-present help in this moment and in the
days to come.
In Jesus' name, amen.
So tonight, ladies, we're talking about overcoming fear and anxiety.
And as we start to talk about this, I'd just like to touch on this quickly, the reminder
that our hearts are easily impressionable, okay?
So what we're listening to, what we're taking in, what we've grown up in for years.
You know, if your parents or someone that you were around a lot were very anxious, panicky
people, fear-driven, even in their conversation about money, whatever that looks like, a lot
of times what can happen are these subconscious belief systems that we pick up, what we would
call here as limiting belief systems or orphan mentalities, scarcity mindsets, right?
They come in and they kind of live underneath the surface in our subconscious, but then
we're living it out by how we're acting and how we're showing up in everyday life, including
believing there's no good men out there, or I'm too old, there's no way that this can
still happen for me.
So remember that dialogue that you're hearing.
I made too many mistakes before.
We talked about that last week, didn't we, ladies?
Yeah.
I was caught up in this other thing too long.
I've wasted too much time, but God is the rewriter of our stories and he is redirecting
your path.
this night, but in the days to come, and He can do something supernatural in you.
But again, it's what is our level of expectancy? And for some of you that feel very hopeless in
this season, or you came into this community feeling hopeless, God's going to recharge and
fill your tank of hope, I promise you, if you'll allow Him. But you have to acknowledge where
you're at. What is your starting point? Where are you at the beginning? Maybe you've been
here for weeks or months, but where are you tonight? What is it that you need from God?
What are you expecting Him to do in you? So what I want to encourage you all to do,
even if you didn't come here like this tonight, okay, you can start right now. You can shift in
your heart, but also every week, I really want to encourage you before you come to pray over
yourself, and really ask God to help you expect for Him to do something supernatural in you every
time you come. Every live call that you're on, every replay that you listen to, that you go in
believing that God is going to meet you there, and He's going to say something for you. He's
going to connect the dot that you need Him to connect. He's going to set you free in ways you
need it. Ladies, it's time. It's time for us to stop just accepting mediocre when we go to places
and spaces, including church, right? We have to go in. Do we read the Bible with an expectation
that God is going to meet us there? And do we actually, you know, believe that when we pray
that He hears us? These are the kind of things I want to encourage you to start challenging
yourself in. Now, I'm not saying every single time I'm reading my Bible, it's not like heaven
opens, and like God is just audibly speaking to me. But you all, I'm telling you, He speaks often
through that still small voice, and He'll speak to you the same way as well. Why am I connecting
that with overcoming fear and anxiety? Well, because in order to overcome these things,
we have to learn the voice of the Father more. We have to partner with the truth of heaven
more. And the only way to do those things is to unlearn some of the old ways of thinking,
stinking thinking, if you will, and heart postures that we've been living in for far too long.
So if our hearts are easily highly impressionable, that means anything that comes into it. Think of
just even if you were to push your finger into like a mold or a clay thing that was easily moldable,
you know, you're going to start to see your thumbprint in there, right? Well, that's the
same kind of concept I want you to think about regarding your heart. Where the pressure is
applied, something is going to leave an imprint. Don't we want it to be the good pressure, the
good change of heaven and the things that God is doing to transform us? Remember, it says,
by the transforming of our minds, old things are passing away. Behold, everything is becoming new.
That's a mind and heart connection. Our hearts and minds are connected. They're one. So in Proverbs
4, 23, it says, keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flows the springs of life.
Vigilance here is actually, if you go through and you look at a couple of the different
words that come up here, it's alertly watchful as to avoid danger. I want you to understand that
the enemy, even last night we addressed it again on the Prophetic Ministry Night, he is always
looking for those whom he can devour, those he can convince that you're no good, that nothing's ever
going to work out for you, that, you know, there's nothing good that ever is going to happen for you.
Whatever, again, those lies are, those belief systems, and he's trying to convince you to
partake. If you think of this, like even, I don't know why this is coming to my mind, but Alice in
Wonderland, and you know, she ate the cake and then something happened, right? So he's like trying to
get us to eat the cake, so to speak, but it's not a good cake because it makes us shrink down, if you
will, and not live into the fullness of who God originally created us to be, to the full potential
of who he's called us to be. God gave us authority, and in order to stand in authority, we have to
learn the truth about who he is, and that comes as we heal in our hearts more and more, but it also
comes as we study who he is. When we really seek out the scriptures to know his character,
the more we know God as love, the more we know God is faithful, good, all these things, the more we
will be able to believe the things that he says to us. Fear is false evidence appearing real. I want
you guys to remember that. Write it down, whatever you need to do, so that anytime a fear comes to you,
that you can ask the Lord, okay, what is the false evidence that is appearing real right now?
And then anxiety is fueled by fears and what-if statements, so fear and anxiety are always, they
tend to partner together. Same thing with dread and worry and panic. They all kind of hang out,
if you will, and congregate. If you can imagine a group of people you-
walk into some place and you're like, oh, I see that group of people.
Yeah, that's fear. That's anxiety. That's dread, panic, worry.
They're all hanging out in a big old group together.
And if one of them gets their foot in the door with you, guess what?
The spirits will all start to congregate, if you will.
They'll start to follow and figure out which which way they can get in to your mind.
So where is anxiety fueled by fear and what if thoughts?
Where is it plaguing you today?
Let's go ahead and activate you on to see in the chat.
What's a fear that you've had in the last week or the last day?
Whatever is easier for you to remember and recall.
Go ahead and put that in the chat for me.
A fear that you've had, whether it's been a fleeting thought
or something that you were thinking about for a while.
Kay, Juliana says that I will be alone forever.
Being stalked by my ex again.
So sorry to hear that and family dynamics during vacation, OK?
Is that vacation coming up, Tara, is that one that happened?
What if I fail or this isn't the direction God wants me to go?
New job path, dread about the future, fear of not being accepted
back into an old group, being lonely all the time.
People think I'm stupid. I'm too much.
People don't like me.
I won't be able to stick with a new nutrition program judged for my decisions.
OK, so that that's coming up in a few days.
We'll pray over that.
If I if I can recall it by the end tonight,
we'll pray over that before we jump off.
New not job, not getting the job contract.
I want fear about not being able to afford a car.
OK, a lot of really good ones.
If you think of more, go and put those in the chat,
because here's what I know.
Also, when we get them out of us and we get out of those fears,
out of the darkness, into the light, they get revealed, right?
Well, light and darkness don't coexist together.
The light overtakes the darkness.
So when we bring those things out to the surface and we acknowledge
that we're having them, even in that, they start to loosen their grip.
Not able to retire, not capable to do job task, fear, end up same cycle
and busy for serving and not fixing my own matters like decluttering finances.
All right. I'm going to keep going.
Trauma that happened to us isn't what stops us from living an amazing life, ladies.
But it's the lies we believe as a result of the trauma,
fears and anxiety feed off of these lies.
OK, so this is why it's important for you to get to the root.
Where did this start?
So when we say to you, ask God really good questions.
Jack even talked about it this past Saturday during Supernatural Saturday.
We want you to pause.
God, where is this fear coming from?
That will stop just being like, this is just how I've always been.
This is what I've always been afraid of.
You know, even if it's something we've always known, ladies,
that doesn't mean that is how God created us.
Do you know that God didn't create us with fear inside of us?
That is something that we have learned.
Anxiousness and worry, that is something we have learned.
From trauma, from other people.
Partnering with lies and allowing it to become a habit
that we even are like constantly worrying.
Y'all, if worry is overtaking your mind, I promise you,
that is not how God wants you to live.
He wants you to go ahead and start to stop that cycle
and and come out of agreement with that.
And it's, you know, shifting lanes, if you will.
In regards to healing our minds, it takes some intentionality.
Remember, you've been creating the neural pathways in your brain
for a long time now.
Do you know it takes at least 30 days of thinking
the same positive thought for that to create a new neural pathway?
So don't give up on yourself, OK?
Even if you're like, I've tried this before, but it didn't work.
Well, you might have got to day 10 and given up. OK.
So let's do our best.
Again, this is where God's supernatural ability can empower us.
But we also have to grow in our ability that, you know, the spirit of
the fruits of the spirit and talks about self-control.
Well, we can allow ourselves to walk in self-control regarding our minds, too.
And when we need the help of the Holy Spirit, he's here.
The same power there is Jesus from the dead can help us get control of our minds.
When we have problem areas, these areas where we're always stuck,
that is a signal right then and there we can say, OK,
this is somewhere where I feel stuck.
If you keep saying, I'm just stuck, I'm just stuck.
I never you know, I have a lady right now. I've been coaching her.
She said that she gets to about day three.
And then they always back off.
She's like, I've been going through this cycle over and over.
And so she's like, I'm stuck here.
Well, part of it, I'm not saying that's not true,
but part of the struggle is that she keeps saying she's stuck.
No, we need to look at, OK, that that might be happening.
in the physical realm, but God what's underneath the surface that is causing
that cycle? When's the first time I ever felt stuck in this way? And let him show
you that underneath the surface. And remember, even if he shows you something
recent, there might be other things underneath of that, but you just might
not have the capacity right now for that to be revealed. So trust the Lord in this
process. We don't get out our shovels and dig. We allow the revealings for healing
to happen. All right. Yes, I want to read a part of this little thing to you all.
So when we go through situations, I want you to really start to think about, as
I'm talking to you about this tonight, and yes we're talking about fear and
anxiety, but let's also think about cycles in our lives that maybe again
we've just accepted like, oh this is just how it is. Everybody goes through this. I
had a friend come stay with me for a few days and one of the things, and I'm not
saying this is bad, but this is something we learn in the church and so
I want to point this out. She was just trying to talk about the struggle that
she's having in her marriage right now, but then every time she would say
something she's like, but I know other people have it worse than me. It was like
a default mechanism, right? Because she was feeling guilty for saying that she's
actually struggling in her marriage and the situation she's going through. God
isn't asking us to like always deflect and be like, but I know other people have
it worse so I should be just grateful. No, like we have to feel the feels. We have
to get to the root of what is causing this stuff in us and yes we can
acknowledge that other people struggle in different ways and maybe even
sometimes what we would consider worse ways around the world, but sometimes that
is a pattern that needs to get broken and honestly you know in the body of
Christ so many of us learn false humility. We learn this defection, like
that deflecting, deflecting, deflecting because we're told we're not allowed to
you know think on our negative things too long, right? But you all, how do we heal if
we don't even look at it? I'm not saying stay there for a lot you know for good,
but we need to be willing to take a good look at what's going on, what led us to
where we are, and how does God want to break this cycle so that we don't
continue to end up here? Even a lot of Christians are just literally so bound
and they're so angry and they're so unhappy. Why would non-believers want to
be a part of the church? But we can be a part of the change that lasts, that
movement of kingdom family and marriages that would invite other people and
encourage other people be like, man I want that kind of marriage. I want that
kind of community. I want that kind of transformation. And that's gonna happen
to so many of you even through the heart work. People are gonna start to say, hey
what's going on with you? I noticed something different and that's gonna be
a good thing. Some of you will start to like have a new glow, a new look come
over you. Believe it because it's about to happen to you. All right, the biggest
lie that you may believe in life is that your life is normal. Many people, this is
from the heart work book, many people that live broken lives believe that it's
reasonable to live that way. They have inherited that emotional debt or trauma
from their family and they think it's normal to be overweight, unhappy, to be
unfaithful, to be in a relationship where someone mistreats you, or to be sick all
the time. They think it's okay to have massive amounts of debt and spend all
their energy trying to figure out how to pay the bills. Or even a more severe
deception like it's normal to abuse and hurt others or yourself. Jackie says I
knew someone like that. They thought it was normal to be molested by family
members because it's all they had ever known. When they were confronted by an
outsider about the abuse they said that happens in everyone's family, doesn't it?
No, it does not. Maybe you have been confronted by people in your life,
friends, co-workers, even family that are trying to get you to see how dysfunctional
an area of your life has become. I've done this for over for people over the
years. Some people call it an intervention. It's a reality check when
someone is so deep in a lie that their behavior has become dangerous to others
or themselves. The desired outcome is that the person will wake up and see
what they are doing and ask for help.
So I want to encourage you tonight. Like where is it that you need to just kind
of dial back and ask God for help and then also come into the community and
say, hey, this is where I'm still struggling in this cycle, you know? And
sometimes you're gonna be asking, you know, a similar thing a couple times. Last
week I mentioned about people that are saying the same thing. That is like
where someone's still in that place, you know, a year from now because we need to
look at that and, okay, why aren't they getting that?
breakthrough yet. It doesn't necessarily mean it's your fault, but there might be
something else we need to focus on. And you get freedom and breakthrough there
first, and then that creates the freedom and breakthrough in that thing you're
not able to figure out right now. But here's the reason I said that. Some of
you do need to just kind of process and unpack. I know Tatiana shared in the
group, you all didn't see it this past week, she's been really praying about
this situation with her dad. And when she came into the community, we've been
coaching her on that. Y'all, she got some major breakthrough. She has a major
breakthrough, and it's exciting. So we want you to know we're cheering you on,
we're praying. And just let me say this, I hope it goes well for her from here on
out with her dad, but there's ebbs and flows, you all, from my experience as we
continue to walk the healing out. It doesn't mean it's going to be perfect,
and we shouldn't expect that from other people. We shouldn't expect that from
ourselves. Now we can strive for excellence, we can strive to make the
choices according to what the Lord says, but he's not asking us to be perfect.
There's one person that's perfect, and his name is Jesus Christ. But so many of
you are holding other people to levels and standards of perfection as well as
yourself, and you don't have grace for yourself, therefore you don't have grace
for other people. And a lot of that is rooted in fear. That's how I'm connecting
it tonight. Did you know that the reason we hold people to such high standards is
often, and ourselves as well, is often like walls that we're putting up because
we're afraid of getting hurt, we're afraid of something that may or may not
happen again. There's that anxiety, what if this? What if that? What if this? And so
we build all these walls to try to protect ourselves. Well Jackie talks
about what happens when we build walls. For my ladies that have been here for
a while, anybody know the answer? Thieves will try to scale the walls, you all. So
let's not build walls, let's continue to surrender the pen, surrender to the Lord,
and trust him in the process. Okay, so as you're processing these lies, I want you
to, excuse me, and fears are rising up, I want you to pause and ask two things.
Remember, false evidence appearing real. So you're asking the Lord, what is false
evidence appearing real right now? And the other way to do this is, what are the
facts? What are the facts in this situation right now? And just looking at
it logically. And number two, what is true? Because if you're looking at what
is true, you should be able to automatically identify what is false.
Right? Alright, everybody tracking with me? So we can overcome the fears the more
we heal and become rooted in God's love and faithfulness to us. Are you someone
who is always waiting for the other shoe to drop? Something's going really
well, and you're just constantly like, this isn't gonna last, this isn't gonna
last. This guy's not really good. Where is the stuff that's hiding that's not
good? You know, that kind of thought and process. God is wanting to reveal these
things where we believe in the worst case scenario instead of the best case
scenario. And you know, last night, it kind of came out in the chat. And as one
of the ladies was releasing a word, and this is so true as well. A lot of
churches and denominations will talk a lot about generational curses. And y'all,
they are true. It's in the Bible. You can read it. But not many talk about
generational blessings. And until I came into this community, honestly, I focused
a lot on overcoming generational curses. And I needed to do that. I needed to
understand that. But y'all, the more I focused on believing for the
generational blessings to be released, as I partner with God, the less I'm
scared about that stuff all the time and consumed by it. What we focus on is
going to grow. So what are you focusing on? Y'all, I know things are hard. We
have people in relationships around us that are toxic. Things are like hard in
society or people around us. But what we focus on is going to grow. So what are
you focusing on right now? Like, are you focusing on the heart work and all the
good things that God is doing in you? Even when he's revealing the hard stuff
that needs healing? There's still so much good in that. Do you know how kind God is
to reveal these things to us? It's a good Father that does that. All right, let's
keep going. Maybe you hear a siren and think something happened to the person
you love. This is that best or that worst case scenario kind of concept. Someone
doesn't respond to your text in the time frame that you think they should,
and you might start thinking like, they're mad at me. They don't care about
me. They must be talking to someone else. I'm never a priority. I'm not pretty
enough or good enough or whatever that line is that you start telling yourself
because the enemy is lying to you and you start to partner with those lies. But
even again...
And what are the thoughts that you're having? Where are they rooted?
Are they rooted in fear, doubt, unbelief?
Are they rooted in your past pain and wounds?
Or are they rooted in the love of God?
Remember, perfect love casts out all fear,
because fear has to do with torment, right?
1 John 4.18 in the Amplified Version says this,
There is no fear in love. Dread does not exist.
But perfect, complete, full-grown love drives out fear,
because fear involves the expectation of divine punishment.
So the one who is afraid of God's judgment
is not perfected in love,
which means has not grown
into a sufficient understanding of God's love.
So it's the same scripture I just quoted to you,
but this is the Amplified Version.
I really wanna encourage y'all to really meditate on that.
It's basically saying, if we partner with fear,
if we have a lot of anxiety and fear,
and that rules our lives or is in us at all,
y'all, that we've not been perfected in love,
that we've not grown into a sufficient understanding
of God's love for us and to us.
There's a song, I'm not gonna read it to you tonight,
but I really wanna encourage y'all
to listen to it this week.
And I'll try to remember to put it up
in the group tonight as well.
"'Fear is a Liar' by Zach Williams.
It's really powerful.
And even if you've heard it before,
I really wanna encourage you to listen again
with new ears, a fresh heart,
and allow the Lord to just really speak to you
about overcoming the fears in your life in the days ahead.
All right.
So I'm going to go ahead and encourage you.
I'm gonna read one more scripture
and then we're gonna get ready for a breakout session.
It's Hebrews 12, one.
It says, therefore, since we are surrounded
by such a great cloud of witnesses,
let us throw off everything that hinders
and the sin that so easily entangles
and let us run with perseverance,
the race marked out for us.
So here is your breakout question tonight.
Oh, the song and artist, Shekinah, is Zach Williams.
And the song is Fear is a Liar.
If anyone's super tech savvy
and you wanna grab that link and put it in the chat
and ladies can grab it, that's cool too.
Totally have permission to do that if you want to.
But the breakout question for tonight
is what fear are you going to ask God
to help you with tonight?
What fear are you gonna give him?
What fear are you gonna go to him and talk to him about?
And I wanna encourage you to talk to your sister
in the breakout session or sisters first
and then we'll go from there.
When y'all come back,
we'll do some coaching around this as well.
Let me go ahead and get these groups set up real quick.
Totally fine, Amy.
Thank you for letting me know.
If you get a prompt,
just don't accept it to go into the room.
All right.
Okay, for our new ladies, what's gonna happen?
In a moment here, you're gonna get a prompt on your screen
if you're not familiar with Zoom.
And when it says to enter the,
sorry, the breakout room,
go ahead and click on that
and it'll take you right into the room.
If you're in there and somebody isn't talking
or you're just like, I don't know if I'm here by myself,
just hang out there for a minute
because I can see on the back end
and I'll move you around
if I see that nobody else joined you in that room
because we do have some people traveling
and things it looks like tonight.
All right, go ahead and click to join those
as quick as you can.
You have seven minutes to talk about
what is the fear that you're asking God
to help you with tonight.
All right.
As soon as we get people situated,
as long as I have two people in every room.
Eight.
All right, perfect.
Father, thank you so much
for everything you're doing tonight.
God, I thank you for removing fear,
anxiety, dread, worry, panic disorders,
God, anything that we grew up understanding
because of people that spoke things around us
or even misunderstanding where fear took root
because we misinterpreted something that was happening.
God, I pray that you would just reveal
these areas for healing,
that you would help people connect the dots.
Roseanne, did you get kicked out?
No, I was trying to turn my microphone on
and I hit the wrong button.
Totally fine, let me just get you,
hold on one second, let me find what group.
Okay, we're talking about
what fear are you going to ask God
to help you with tonight, okay?
Okay.
There you go.
You're welcome.
So Father, we just thank you
that you would just continue this work in our hearts,
God, that you would again,
just Lord, go into the crevices
in the parts of our soul
that we don't even know we need healing in, God.
that you would bring to our remembrance situations
and dynamics of things that happened even long ago,
maybe for some preschool, maybe for some in the womb,
some in elementary, high school,
whatever that looks like, God, we thank you.
I just even saw a flash of someone just riding in a car
where a parent was driving recklessly.
God, I pray that you just heal that person
and heal that memory.
I thank you, God, that you would just continue
to help us to hear the whispers of your heart over us, God,
that you would just remind us that we can be still
and know that you are God and that you are for us
so no weapon can be formed against us.
And if they are formed against us, they cannot prosper.
We thank you, God, that you're continuing
to help us to partner with you in truth.
Proverbs 18.21 says,
"'Death and life are in the power of the tongue,
"'and those who love it will eat its fruit.'"
It's just a reminder
that we have to remember this process, okay?
The process is, first, we believe the lie.
So we believe things like, I'm abandoned.
Then it's, number two, next, we speak the lie.
Nobody is ever there for me.
Number three, finally, we become the lie.
Behavior towards isolation and withdrawal from others
creates a false sense of abandonment.
So remember, we gotta go back to the beginning.
When was the first time we were abandoned?
Now, yours might not be abandonment.
Yours might be neglect.
It might be abuse.
It might be betrayal, whatever that looks like for you,
but that you would go back to the original situation.
And if you don't know what that is,
that you would ask the Lord to reveal that to you
in his perfect timing and trust him with the delivery
of that and the timing of that delivery.
God is good and he has good things in store for you.
I'm just gonna continue to read a couple of scriptures
and continue to pray.
Ephesians 6, 12 is a good reminder.
For we are not fighting against flesh and blood enemies,
but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world,
against mighty powers in this dark world
and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.
God, I thank you that you would help us to remember
just when things are happening,
how much the enemy, even now that he is against us,
that he's trying to hinder us
from even healing and moving forward.
He's trying to convince us
that we have not made any progress for some people.
God, he, yes, Lord.
I just saw almost as if someone
was just constantly like looking down, like everywhere.
Maybe they're not physically, but emotionally,
they're just looking down at the ground.
They are never confident.
So Lord, we just speak confidence into these ladies.
Yes, Lord, I thank you that you would just continue
to help them strengthen up in their backbone, Lord.
Not out of aggressiveness or that kind of thing,
but just a strength that comes
through their identity in Christ,
like a confidence with their shoulders back,
their head held high, God,
that they would be able to look at other people
and look at you and know, God,
that you are doing something good in them and for them, God,
that you are working all things together
to save many people alive, including them,
that you have a plan and a purpose for them,
that you predestined them for.
And Lord, I thank you that you would help them
to step further into the fullness
of who you originally created them to be long ago,
and that they would step into that more and more
every single day.
First Peter 5.8, here's another one about this warning,
just really being aware of what the enemy's tactics are.
It says, stay alert, watch out for your great enemy,
the devil.
He prowls around like a roaring lion
looking for someone to devour.
What's really important there is he prowls around
like a lion, but he's not a lion, y'all.
The lion of the tribe of Judah is the one
that has authority, and that is God, Jesus.
They're the ones in the Holy Spirit that are strong
and that they are the ones that conquer.
And any time where we feel like the enemy is winning,
we need to hide in the presence of the Lord.
Psalm 91 talks about that we would hide
under the shadow of his wings
and in the presence of the Almighty.
And so I wanna encourage you
to really lean into that this week,
lean into God protecting you,
lean into God covering you,
no matter what comes your way, that he is for you,
so who can be against you?
Psalm 119, 165 in the Passion Translation says this,
there is such a great peace and wellbeing
that comes to the lovers of your word
and they will never be offended.
So Lord, I thank you that you would just help us,
Lord God, to have softened hearts.
God, where the enemy created hardened hearts in us
and callousness and walls,
Lord, as self-protection mechanisms,
God, I ask you to soften us from the inside out,
that you would help us to recognize offense
when it tries to come in
and that we would recognize it quickly
and that we would just partner with you, God,
in seeing this situation,
that we would ask you to...
Show us people through your eyes show us the situation through your eyes Lord and even when people are doing things that are offensive
God that we would allow you to help us to rise up above those things just like last night
There was a word delivered about being like an eagle and eagles rise into a new perspective
And they don't even really mess around with the storm, but they use the storm to soar higher
They catch the wind if you will there's actually a song it just came up in my spirit as I said that it's called catch
the wind it's by
Jennifer Helser, what's her husband's name, but it's a husband and wife duo
Really awesome song as well. If you're just feeling that like that pressure of the enemy man
That's I don't know that song got me through so many hard times and say when I like catch the wind
That we would catch the wind of God and last night was you know?
We kicked off the prophetic ministry night with a word God gave me about a west wind arising and so there's that connection
I'm seeing in the spirit realm tonight as well, and so I want to encourage y'all to check those out
Welcome back as you're starting to come back
Let's see here
I don't know why this thing is popping up what I'm gonna say. Okay there we go
Welcome back everyone hello. Hello. Hello
Keep coming in I think we've got everyone back now
All right, so your activations for this week ladies
I'm gonna go over those real quick for those of you that are new
Then what I will do is open it up for anyone that wants to share with the whole group what you shared in the private
Group, and then we'll do some potential
Coaching around that depending on what you share and so if you would like to share you can go ahead and put your hand up
Now even while I'm talking
About our activations for this week so every time we do a live session. I give at least one activation
Sometimes I'll give to you this week. I am giving two
And these are in addition to your homework and stuff, so it's not mandatory, but as you apply them
Maybe you even some ladies can kind of put in the chat if they've helped them that have already done these activations
But I really do believe that they continue to kind of
Stoke the fire if you will and motivate you in that heart healing process, okay, so number one activation I
Want to encourage you this week to practice?
receiving
So what I mean by that I'm going to give you some examples, okay?
You can do something different you need to pray ultimately and say God
How should I practice receiving this week and let them talk to you?
But I'm just going to give you all a couple ideas, and you can use whatever you want all right number one accept physical assistance
Let someone carry your heavy heavy grocery bags
Let someone help you move furniture or reach something
That's high on a shelf and instead of I don't know if y'all have ever done this so I'm super short
I'm 5'4 so a lot of times
I can't reach the top shelf and I would sit I would try to climb on the shelves y'all sometimes
I know it's really really crazy those things could have fallen on me instead of asking for help now sometimes
I would look around and there'd be no one I'd be like shoot. What do I do now, but?
You know what we should do. We should go looking for someone that can help us all right
So we're going to practice receiving help so even if you could manage yourself
Maybe you're not a little short person like me, and you're tall and you could totally get it by yourself
I want to encourage you all to to yes
You're not trying to necessarily flirt with a guy that has kids and all that, but hey, it's good practice, sir
Would you mind to help me reach that from that shelf up there?
Yes, we want you to practice those kind of things as well, and it's not just about men
It's even asking women for help some of you all do not like women
You don't and
So the last person you want to ask for help is another female even my friend that was down here
She's like I just get along better with men
well
That happened because somewhere along the way
women hurt her
Y'all that's true
I'm not saying people don't make friends easier with certain people and certain personalities and certain types it is true
So I'm not saying it's like always that but a lot of times that is what's under underneath the surface there all right, so
You're gonna accept physical assistance number to ask for skill-based help. Okay, so what I mean by that
Request that a friend teach you something that they are good at whether it's a new recipe how to change your car's oil
Using a software program, or maybe it's a craft technique
This is gonna help you create meaningful connection while practicing vulnerability and
Admitting that you don't know everything
It's good practice for us. It's humbling when we can say I don't know how to do this
I would really love for you to teach me this all right number three let other people handle logistics
Even if you are map queen, and you never need help getting anywhere
You don't need help packing your you know
your suitcase, unloading your suitcase,
you can just take yourself to the airport,
pay for parking, take the shuttle.
Y'all, okay, this is the season for you to let people help you.
So here are some examples.
Allow friends or family to pick you up from the airport,
to bring you dinner when you're overwhelmed,
or help plan an event you're hosting.
These acts of service require you to release
control and trust other people to care for you.
Now, I will tell you,
this is what I get kicked back on a lot.
I've asked people for help for years
and no one ever is willing to help me.
I'm not saying it's not true in the past,
but you are different now.
Do you believe you're different now?
So let's not partner with,
if you ask somebody and they can't do it,
nobody ever wants to help me.
Let's not partner with that.
That's the enemy inviting you to partner with that lie again.
Let's partner with,
thank you so much for even considering it.
And then you ask someone else,
because maybe that's not the person God has
for you to help you that week.
Do you see how that works?
Total shift, all right?
Number five, is it five, four?
I can't remember, I lost count.
All right, here's the last one on this one.
Accept emotional support.
When someone offers to listen or ask how you're doing,
actually share what's on your heart
instead of deflecting with, I'm fine.
Let them pray for you, offer encouragement,
or simply sit with you in difficult moments
without feeling you need to reciprocate immediately.
Now here's the caveat on this one.
Don't do this with someone who is already maxed out
in their own life.
Don't do this with someone who's toxic.
Toxic people will not have the capacity
nor will they want to listen to anything you have to say,
because typically toxic people
are very focused on themselves, okay?
So let's not go to those people
to try to share our deep heart things.
Let's find somebody safe.
So if that's here in this community,
come here and post in the community.
Create a post, tell us how you're feeling.
What are you processing?
Let us come around you.
But I do want you all to practice this
as much as you can in person with people too, okay?
All right, so the key to all of these is starting small
and recognizing that receiving gracefully
is actually a gift that you give to other people.
It allows them to express love and feel valued.
As women practice this,
they often discover it deepens relationships
and creates space for others to step in
to their God-given desire to serve and protect.
Whether you have experienced this yet or not,
men that are healthy desire to be chivalrous.
They want to take care of you.
So if you don't need to be taken care of,
if you're just like, I got this, I can do this myself,
I can carry the 20 bags of groceries.
Y'all, that was me.
I would carry up three flights of stairs,
all of my groceries, as many as I could carry,
because I didn't want to have to make multiple trips.
Do you know, I literally never even thought
about actually asking someone to help me around me
because I was single.
I just got, I have to do this myself.
And even when I was dating people and married,
I wouldn't even go in.
And sometimes that came
because they were not people that were helpful, okay?
Right?
But let's not partner with,
well, everybody's like those people.
See, we make these sweeping statements
that everybody's like that.
Every man is like, no, they're not.
No, they're not.
So we got to come out of that stuff.
Okay.
All of that was activation one.
So it's just giving you different things to work on,
pray and ask the Lord,
which one you're supposed to work on this week
and run with that.
And then we want to hear about it.
We want to know how it went.
So come into the group and tell us.
Okay, activation number two.
It's all about letting go.
So last week was supernatural surrender.
So remember that was kind of our first step
in surrendering the pen, partnering with surrender.
If you weren't here last week, that's totally fine.
You can go catch that replay if you want.
It's in there under the replay tab.
But this is the point.
Lean further into this idea of supernatural surrender
and letting go.
So that you can receive the new.
Do y'all know that we can't receive new
if we don't have the capacity?
So we have to let go of some things.
So here's the question you're going to ask the Lord.
What do you not want me to take
into the rest of 2026 with me?
Lord, what do you not want me to take into the rest of 2026 with me?
Here are some examples.
Now, you guys come up with your own, but again, I'm just trying to kind of stir some stuff
for you.
Old mindsets, old heart postures, a relationship that is not healthy for you.
That could be a friendship.
It could be romantic.
It could be even just right now, I have a young lady that she loves her parents, but
they are toxic and they are hurting her, whether they mean to or not.
So she is creating distance right now so that she can focus on getting healthy because she
was constantly going through this like crazy cycle.
Like every time she'd go around her parents, it would be like, we'd be starting all over
again in the heart healing.
She's not strong enough to be around them yet, though.
Some of you, that's where you're at.
And if you can't not be around your parents because you have to live with them right now,
then we want to teach you some other kind of tools and things that you can implement.
But in this case, she does not have to be around her parents on the regular right now.
So it's good for her to create some space for her to heal, and then she starts to create
some capacity.
Do you see how that works?
So write a list of the things that God tells you to let go of, pray and thank the Lord
for helping you let go.
Remember, you don't have to do this by yourself.
This isn't you doing this in your own strength and striving.
This is you saying, Lord, I need your help to let this go.
And so what I like to do in this process, I encourage you all to do this.
And I know I had somebody write into me about this before.
So if this is not your thing, you do not have to do balloons.
There's totally other things you could do.
Some people got offended because it's environmentally not safe, which I guess I didn't know that
really.
But balloon releases can be very healing for people.
So maybe you can find an environmentally friendly balloon and things like that.
But this is one of the things we do.
We get a balloon and you tie something on it that represents what you're letting go
of.
You could even just write a word on it.
And nobody else, if they found it, would know what that even means.
And I want you to pray about it before you release it.
And then when you're ready, let it go.
And thank God for that release, not only in that physical realm, but God is doing it in
this supernatural realm as well.
One of the other things you can do is write on that list of paper where you were writing
of all the things to let go of.
You can choose in a safe place to burn that and watch that list burn.
And that's another release.
I've had people go to the edge of water and they pray that release prayer and they skip
stones as a sign of release.
Again, you can do whatever works for you.
These are just ideas, you all.
But if any of those things offend you, just do something different.
And remember, we're saying don't be easily offended.
That was a part of tonight.
But these are very, very healing.
And then if that is something that you do, choose to do that activation.
We love for you all to, again, take a photo.
This isn't just for us.
You're going to want to see some of this stuff when you look back even six months from now,
like how much you've healed and grown.
I have a lady that went through this letting go and she did the balloon.
She is a widow and she was really having a hard time moving on from, you know, just her
husband and feeling okay with even dating again.
And so we did this release and let go with her and you all, she got five balloons.
And that's the one thing I'll say to you, pray about if you're doing the balloon release,
how many balloons you should have, what color should they be, and let it mean something
to you.
Okay?
Same thing.
You can do the same thing with the paper.
It's just all what you feel led to do, but y'all, she did it.
And I'm telling you what, I mean, she still had a lot of things to walk out, but she was
different after that.
So know that God will meet you there.
All right.
Those are the activations for this week.
I'm going to go ahead and go to Tatiana to go ahead and share for us first tonight.
Hello.
Hey, I was actually going to ask if I can go last.
Oh, you sure can.
Okay.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Joy.
Go ahead.
All right.
Okay.
It's my turn.
All right.
I have something with the group saying that, um, um, I got text in the chat room as well.
Um, just recently, uh, I served, there's a great need in my territory.
There's a pastors, uh, got a cancer and got sick and attacks.
Um, so I'm going to go ahead and share that with you.
So there's God's Apostle here and somebody found me so connect me with him.
Okay.
All right.
So I'm doing translation and to set up meetings and I see the fire really people's hope and
confidence revived and church revived. So I'm doing this so because I'm doing this work so I
have to temporarily put my own mattress like a decorators and other things on temporary
put on home. So I'm counting the 10 few years ago I was desperate I say I want to do the
decorative thing for several years now and I'm thinking I want to finish up as soon as possible
before the my apartment to the flooring we're going to do the whole apartment flooring the
change floor I have to empty this place and furnish and all the things and prepare for the
flooring. So I'm just so why it seems like it happened again but one thing is good is that
this apostle come to our territory so it's helped me with my fire for the Lord and before I was
kind of you know but now I see ignited so I'm able to release my gifts like translation and
and serve people serve the church anyway so it's kind of a kind of fire and my gifts it's more
flourish. So but meanwhile I'm just I said did I repeat the same cycle before because I I confessed
before I confessed before with people that because before that was all me like to do go to church
four times and go to work and end up with a very late and work and just home just sleep
and sometimes do not did not have enough sleep so I confessed several times I think.
Let me ask you a question Joy I just want to make sure I'm following you okay
so you were recently serving pastors an apostle came in town came to your territory you were
helping do translation for them and the connection yeah connect yeah and connect them
I wasn't sure I was understanding the flooring part. The flooring part is my apartment right
for your apartment yeah the floor has to change okay and then you do feel like you're walking
in your giftings more that you've gone through the heart healing but what are you afraid of
that you the same cycle I know that you've mentioned certain things in the past but I'm
not sure I understand what cycle you're afraid that you're repeating right now okay the cycle
is that before the pattern was kind of end up doing a lot of work as I'm sorry oh please help
me it was okay you're doing good anyway before I like to go to church three or four times
but of course I know God used me mightily for the church for the kingdom God for the worship
you know change in Amsterdam city and the territories God really used to make gifts so
and also I work in the real estate company and because sometimes my brain was
tired and also I did not have high efficiency so end up I have to do extra work after work
I did not finish so I walk a long hours sometimes until 9 p.m 10 p.m I got home and just sleep
and sometimes did not have enough sleep they did not take care of my eating okay I think I
understand so you're struggling with work potentially taking over and you're not balancing
yeah that's the key balance yes yes you got it you were you were doing a good job I just want
to make sure I understand you so that we can kind of help you through that so remember before when
I mentioned about like ladies if you struggle with keeping balance I do this too one of the things
that I really find helpful I've gotten away from this but I need to get back to it so I got it out
actually just a week ago I used to keep a paper calendar even though I keep a digital one I would
keep a paper one that is hanging on the wall and and then literally I would block out parts of my
day or a certain day of the week to just have time to work on stuff for myself because if I don't
I'm a big giver so I tend to work work work work and do stuff for people you know work for last
year single I work for the church there's always people that have needs we're in the fostering
process you know to get licensed so there's just a lot of things that are going to always need my
time but it's just like you
you know, on the airplane,
we have to put the oxygen mask on ourself first.
And so, Joy, I really wanna encourage you
to get some kind of tracking system on paper
where you can see it,
because I think that's what's gonna help you,
where you're really looking at how many hours,
you know, how many days,
and how much of those days was I, you know,
working, doing,
and how much time did I actually take to work on my heartwork
or whatever other things it is that, you know, the Lord,
maybe it's decluttering.
I think I saw, I don't know if that was last night,
you said that in the chat or tonight,
but that decluttering, you know,
those kinds of things that you've been trying to work on
and really hold yourself accountable.
And here's one of the things, you know,
people like Joy, they love to serve the Lord.
I love to serve the Lord too, and she's gifted to do so.
And so sometimes what can happen is that
we lose sight of our goals
in the midst of other people's needs.
And here's the parallel I'm gonna make, okay?
Guess what?
The same thing can happen in a romantic relationship
where you lose yourself completely in someone else, right?
So now Joy can practice setting healthy boundaries,
even regarding ministry,
even regarding time with the Lord, right?
It's not that we stop spending time with the Lord
when we go home,
but she doesn't need to work day and night,
day and night, day and night for three or four days
and then have no time to do anything else.
That's not healthy, that's not balanced.
And you know what?
Years ago, I had someone tell me,
cause I did all kinds of stuff for a church
and I did it all for free, really.
And I was okay doing that,
but until I met someone that said to me,
that church is actually abusing your giving,
like your heart of giving and serving.
And I was like, what?
And they're like,
they should never want to just have you do all of that.
Cause I was doing a lot for them for free.
But see, you know, back in the day,
that's kind of how I grew up in the church looking for it.
Now I'm not against people serving,
so please don't hear what I'm not saying, okay?
I've done it, I still do it.
I, you know, serve in the church,
I get paid a little bit,
but I serve and work way more hours
than what I get paid for.
And that's totally fine.
But the reason I'm saying that is that
sometimes we get our lives all out of balance.
We get sucked into being consumed by other people,
other things.
And some of you all will even do this in the heart work.
You'll come to only live sessions,
but never do your homework.
And the live sessions are amazing.
I know that they will help you,
but we built this curriculum
to all work cohesively together.
It's important.
You know, and the reality is,
is that sometimes even we,
like some of us don't work on our finances
because we're consumed with a bunch of other things.
And if we're always helping other people,
guess what?
We're actually never working on the healing
that is needed inside of us.
And so then we remain, what?
Stuck.
Don't we?
So I encourage you to start tracking this.
I think that will help you even as, you know,
you're continuing to work on your memory and communication.
I think this will be a good way for you to visually
like write it out and see it for yourself
as a form of communicating with yourself too.
Yeah.
And maybe come in, you know, in the group.
I know that you don't do it a lot.
In the beginning you did more,
but come in and kind of let us know,
maybe stay accountable to us, set a goal.
Okay, what's the max number of hours
you're going to serve in the church in this next week?
That's a healthy number.
Okay.
And then come in and tell us what that's going to be.
And then we can do a check-in with you the next week.
Okay.
All right.
I think that'll be really good.
I think that'll be a good goal for you, Joy.
All right.
Thank you so much.
Yeah, you're welcome.
Thank you for sharing.
Appreciate you.
Trina, go ahead.
Okay, interestingly enough,
this was not my fear that I named in the breakout rooms,
but it's a fear and it's, it might, well.
It's okay.
So I can feel immense fear about asking the Lord
what he wants me to take away from the rest of 2026.
And that's not even the fear.
The fear is, how do you know when you hear,
you know what I mean?
And like, I'm so impatient.
I mean, I'm like, when you said,
when you say let it be revealed and don't dig,
I mean, I'm a digger for sure.
And I'm like, how much time do you give him?
Like, when do you cut it off?
Did you miss it?
just in my head about that. Yeah. All right. So I'm going to answer the first one first,
okay, because there's two things there that you mentioned. I love it.
So let me ask you a question, though, before I do.
On the immense fear, even thinking about asking the Lord what to take away for the rest of 2026,
what rises up? What do you hear? What lie are you hearing or lies when you think about
asking the Lord to take things away for 2026? What is the lie?
Can I start with the truth that I'm feeling? Sure. I think the truth is God is not going to
ask you to take away what's not right. He's going to be doing this for my good.
Don't think that your father is asking something that's not for your good, you know?
But I guess, yeah, it's that fear of like, but I want what I want. And I know that what you've
always given me is better. But it's really hard in the moment to trust that.
So what are you afraid he's going to ask you to let go of?
My ex. And we talked about him a little bit last week,
and even this treatment that was happening there. Right? Okay. So
do you ultimately really, and when I say this, I don't mean on a surface, like what you think I
want you to tell me, okay? Do you really believe that God is good? Yeah. Do you believe that he
has good things for you, Trina? Not just other people. Yeah. Okay. So if you know that,
there has to be a subconscious lie somewhere that is telling you the opposite.
Because if it was, if that wasn't the case, you wouldn't be afraid to let go of your ex.
Do you see how that works? Kind of why I'm saying that to you. So for example, when I was dating the
girl's dad, and that's the one I told you about you all last week, that I was with for six years.
I was afraid of losing the girls.
And I was afraid of losing that relationship too. But really underlying, it was the girls.
Because when I was married before I had a stepson.
I hadn't even filed for divorce yet. I had just separated and mentioned that I was going to file.
And as soon as I mentioned that I was going to file for divorce, he never let me see my stepson
again. And so I had not healed enough when I met my spiritual daughter's dad. And even when I met
him, I said, I didn't want to meet his kids for six months because I was trying to set a healthy
boundary for myself, because I had lost my stepson and it was painful. It was terribly, terribly,
terribly gut-wrenching and painful. And I didn't want to go through that again.
And I said, I was never going to date someone that had kids again, too.
And, you know, within a few days, he was sending me videos and pictures of his kids. Like one was
so cute. They're like, I can't wait to meet you. And they were little. And I was like, I can't wait
was so cute. They're like, I can't wait to meet you. And they were little and they,
the sweetest little voices and my heart started melting. And you know what happened?
I let go of my boundaries and I, I went ahead and met them. Do I regret it because they're amazing?
No, I love them. But you know what? I, I literally went against my own belief and feelings in that
moment. And I let my boundaries down and I let them plow right through those. Okay. So basically
I learned not to trust myself. The reason I'm telling you that story is because ultimately
the breaking up was really connected to, do I believe that there's somebody actually still
out there for me? That is good. And at the core, I wasn't sure.
Number two, I've been through this before. I cannot lose these girls
because I knew what that pain felt like. And I was terrified of feeling that pain again.
I didn't want to lose them. And, and the enemy literally like fed, what if, what if, what if,
what if all these things. And you know what was it hard when I broke up and parted ways? Yes,
because he tried to keep them from me, try to manipulate things. And,
but I just kept pressing on. I kept pressing on. They were thankful.
old enough that at least the older Michaela could make some decisions a
little bit more on her own because she knew she knew what was going on she knew
her dad cheated she like she knew so anyways I'm saying that to you because
when I really got down to the core it was that I hadn't healed enough from my
stepson and losing him and then I went too quickly into that relationship got
too connected to the girls and I was terrified of that loss and that is what
kept me bound in that situation and so you know looking at the X and the whole
dynamic I think what I would encourage you to do is really look at what what
other things might be connected to that you know where there other people that
you dated even before him that you still need healing from because it seems to me
like there might be some extra things kind of connected to that it could be
just about him but I'm just thinking there might be a little bit more stacked
in there if you will some other reasons that create that fear you know that
illusion of a happy family broke breaking is a big deal right and when I
dated their dad he was really good at love-bombing me in the beginning and so
I had this whole fantasy of how things were gonna be and we were gonna be this
happy family and we're gonna live in this house and I just let things run
away with me and then you know that guy disappeared after like three weeks maybe
four max and that person never returned because he didn't even exist and I'm not
saying that's the case with your guy but I'm just saying sometimes it's because
we've bought into a fantasy we've we've really like we're waiting for that
person to come back and fight for us well they never wanted to fight for us
and be committed to begin with again I don't know if that resonates at all for
your guy but I'm just saying some things that are coming up in the spirit so if
it's not for you it might be for someone else here tonight but like you know we
have to really look at what's fueling the fear like what is it really is it
just that we don't want to let go of the ex or are there other things that we
thought we were gonna have that we feel like we're losing if we let go of that
person so another thing that connected for me was family his family was super
unhealthy but you know what they were still a family my mom was very unhappy
like unhealthy physically she didn't you know was not doing well I didn't know
how long she was gonna last my dad has never been in my life he's now deceased
but back then he was still alive I I'm not close to my siblings because of all
the things that have happened and so that that was kind of like my family
union right and so letting go of that relationship meant I was also letting go
even if they were super toxic and dysfunctional family that makes sense
everyone so let's look at the bigger picture of what's really keeping us from
letting go if we believe that God is good and has good things for us and
there's something underneath the surface that is subconsciously in there
that's kind of got us like what it makes me think of is like you know like if
someone were to like throw a hook out and it's hooked your hooked your ship so
to speak and you're just kind of stuck to it and until you get to the root of
what's what's that hook what's that thing that's kind of latched onto your
ship I'm making sense is anything coming up for you for me yeah yeah I I love
that and I want to take a dive into that I think my only other is just the how do
I know I'm hearing from God yeah yeah so let's let's look at that um I would
encourage you to go to the first time that you doubted that you heard from God
and ask him to heal that area whatever that is because a lot of times the reason
we doubt that we hear God is because at some point we thought we heard him and
then we made a wrong decision number two is if we read the Word of God that is
his voice and so the more that we read the word and I'm not super religious
about it but I do believe it effectively works memorizing the Word of
God and getting it down in us you know the Bible talks about writing it on the
tablets of our hearts well when it gets in us we start to know the voice of God
more I also am a big believer I grew up watching Joyce Meyer I know she's still
around but y'all I grew up in my faith watching her and she used to always you
know do this thing and the ladies that have been here for any amount of time
you've seen me do this before but I believe in this
It really, it impacted me and I will tell everyone what I heard from her, but she used to do this
thing where she would touch her ears and she would say, you know, have everybody do it. I am a sheep,
I am his sheep and a sheep hears voice. And so I used to do that all the, all the time. You all,
I would be sitting at red lights. I, Bethany, my name was Stanko at that time. I, Bethany,
Stanko, I'm a sheep and I hear his voice and I would just do that all the time. I used to drive
around with scripture, scripture declarations in my car and I would just pray them out loud
over myself. Y'all, I was serious about this stuff and I wanted, and I still do. I probably
have those somewhere. I've moved so many times that they get packed away sometimes until I find
them again. But, you know, I used my drive time to listen to things that were of God, to pray things
over myself, to really allow myself to connect with God any way I can and could worship, you
know, whatever. And I think the more for me, again, everybody's different. Okay. So the way I hear God
might be different than the way you hear God, because he's also given you a divine personality
and, and the ways that he's going to connect with you that might be different than me. So
I don't necessarily have a formula to say, Hey, this is how you hear from God. Other than
reading the word, connecting with him, building relationship with him, growing and trusting
yourself, you know, again, healing in those times where you thought you heard him and something not
good happened, you know, because those are the times where we get really confused or we break
promises to ourselves. And the more we break promises to ourselves, we don't realize it,
but that actually breaks connection with the Lord too, because we're breaking a connection with
ourselves and God is in us. So every time we're breaking another promise, it's creating,
it's creating that disconnect, disconnect, disconnect. And so that reconnection, you know,
can happen so easily. And, and part of it, Trina, for me too, is faith, believing that I can hear
him. And if I have any confusion, all I need to do is say, Lord, I think this is what you're saying.
Is this you? These are the three things I say, God, is this you?
Is this the devil or is this me? Is this my own idea?
And when I ask him that I feel like for me, and I'm not always saying it's immediate. Okay. So I
don't want to give you that impression. Sometimes it's a week later. Sometimes it's a month later.
Y'all sometimes I have a dream and I don't know the understanding of that dream for many years,
sometimes ever. Same thing with, you know, certain things I feel like God is showing me.
Sometimes I don't know for a long time, but I do know this, that the more that I have believed that
God speaks to me, the more that I have claimed that stuff for myself, the more that I've
cultivated that. So I've read books about prayer and connecting with God. I've read books about
the prophetic, like all, like I grow in the gifts that enable us to hear. Does that make sense?
So for me, it's like all those things combined.
And that's how I have grown in my ability to hear the Lord. Do I make mistakes? Yeah, probably I do.
But you know what? More times than not, I've heard him and, and conveyed something accurately.
And when I walk in that, then I grow and I acknowledge the times that I've misheard him too.
And I apologize to him for mishearing him and ask him to help me hear him better in the future.
And that's how I've done it. And it's really helped me kind of run the race a little bit more free.
There's a little bit of push pull there because I love Joyce Meyer. And when she says,
step out and find out, sometimes you got to step out and find out like sometimes he's not
like until you just try. So that's what I worry too is like, how long do I wait? Should I step
out? You know? Well, and that is part of it. You know, I think where, again, if you continue to
grow and trusting yourself, I think you're going to question that less. Do I step out or do I not?
Because you all, the more you all get to know me, I'm a Hey, I'm going to just go for this.
I just, I, God has given me supernatural faith to just walk in things, but I prayed for a long
time for that, you know? And so the things that you're praying for now, hopefully you'll start
to grow in that and walk in that right now. But even if you, you walk in that five years from now,
isn't that worth it? It's going to be, it's going to be so worth it. So everything,
you know, that we pray and can connect with now is going to have a positive effect at some point.
Remember we reap what we sow.
So sowing into the spirit realm and sowing into truth is going to have a positive effect.
These are great.
Great questions, there's so much more.
You know, I love to talk about prayer and all that.
I should talk to Jackie.
I think we need to do a session about it again
because prayer also connects with hearing from God
and helping people connect in that way.
But I will tell you one last thing
and then I'll go over to Tatiana.
But I think one of the other things
that's really important is praying out loud
and then sitting in stillness.
You know, those quiet times.
I don't know if you're like me,
I don't like a lot of quiet time.
I like to be busy.
But you know what?
I hear God a lot when I'm just quiet.
When I'm really quiet.
And I journal.
So again, I just do a lot of things
that cultivate that connection.
So try some things.
Ladies, this is for all of you.
Try some things.
And if that's not how you hear God,
try something different.
So some people hear God really clearly in nature.
Some people hear God really clearly
sitting on their front porch,
drinking a cup of coffee.
But you gotta find what works for you.
Yeah.
I think Joyce Meyer is also the one that said
that years ago that, you know,
God's like a radio frequency.
He's always talking.
It's whether or not we're tuned
into the right radio frequency to hear him.
And that always stood out to me too.
Yeah.
So it's kind of like dialing in
and just tuning the radio station
as you guys step out in this.
Such great questions.
Thank you so much.
Let us know as you continue to walk through
this stuff with the ex too,
because, you know, again,
accountability is everything.
Yeah.
Tatiana, it's your turn.
Yay.
I feel like, okay, so I'm just gonna be honest.
I really didn't want to share,
but I feel like I'm ready to share some of these things.
Okay, so my brain's kind of all over the place,
but I'm just gonna say the things
that have been coming to my mind.
Okay, so I kind of wanted to talk a little bit
about the intrusive thoughts.
What I've noticed, a pattern for me is like,
I just, oh, like here's something
that I've never struggled with in my life ever.
And my brain will go into panic mode
and it'll be like, oh my gosh,
like, what if that could be me?
Like, what if that's something that's hitting in my heart
and like one day, like it'll come up out of nowhere.
And I don't know why, like, I do that.
Like, it's like, I get so scared so easily
with something that has like,
never had anything to do with me.
And like, just because, you know,
how it's been going on for a long time.
Like, there's been a few times
where I've talked to my mom about these things,
like, you know, just kind of opening up about struggles.
And one thing that kind of came up is like,
she would tell me like, no te claves.
And in Spanish, a clave is like a nail,
like don't get stuck, like in that one thing.
And I feel like, I don't know why like my brain does that,
but it just get like stuck on one thing
and it'll just like fear, circle, fear, circle.
And then I just tell myself like,
okay, I'm just gonna wait it out.
And then it'll be over and then it'll be good.
But then it's like, something else,
I'll hear something else or I'll see something else.
And so I try to be like, really careful with myself
about like, not watching the news
or like, not scrolling on social media.
Like, since I've started the hard work,
I have not been on social media.
But even now I still feel like, I don't know,
like, I just hear things
and my brain would just kind of like spiral down.
And even like when I was younger,
probably like, I wanna say maybe second or third grade,
I started having like OCD tendencies
and not like perfectionism.
Like, it bothers me when people are like,
oh, I'm OCD.
They're just like a perfectionist or whatever.
Cause for me, it was like an actual thing.
Like I couldn't touch door handles
or like just weird little things.
Like I had to count a certain way on my hands.
And if not, it's like just anxiety.
And I feel like I've kind of, like that went away,
but then I've kind of seen it come back through this tour.
Like my brain just kind of gets fixated on one thing
and just like spirals down.
And yeah, and then like another thing
I wanted to mention too was
because like my mom's an immigrant
and my dad grew up very rough.
And so like knowing their stories,
knowing where they come from, like.
I feel like I beat myself up about it because then I'm like this is so stupid like I don't
even sound like right in the head when I'm talking about even struggling with this because
it's like for everything that my parents went through like they've overcame so much and
so for me to get stuck in my head like it's just so stupid and and so yeah that's kind
of what came up for me today but I just I like it's so weird because I feel like like
I have I know I have a sound mind and like I speak that scripture all over myself all
the time I know you do but it's like when I'm going through these things like I feel
like it's almost like I'm looking at myself from the outside like girl like what are you
doing like this isn't even you know and so yeah that's kind of what came up today well
number one you're really brave Tatiana and this is something you've been you've been
fighting for a long time and you have gotten some victory over it but we just we have to
again help not help ask the Lord to help us understand again what that root is but here's
the thing I wrote down a couple things that came to mind as you were talking and I don't
know that I've ever had these thoughts as we as I've heard you share or as we've been
unpacking these so I feel like this is another layer to the healing that's gonna help you
break free from some of this stuff so I have a couple things the first thing is you kind
of mentioned a couple times and I understand why first and foremost I want you to hear
me say I understand why you feel the way you feel but I want to encourage you to not
think about about yourself or the things that you're fearing or your brain okay and here's
kind of what I mean you said I don't know why my brain does that it's so stupid that
I'm thinking these things and you said you know stuff about your brain a couple times
and so what I wrote down is she believes her brain is deceiving her and so I really want
to encourage you um it's interesting I just it's not the same but I had someone ask me
recently like do you believe your body is strong for you and it was my chiropractor
and she asked me that because I have gotten sick a lot in my life and I'm just tired of
being sick and tired and trying to figure out the root of why why I'm battling some of the
things I'm battling but the reality is is interestingly enough and I hope this will
make sense as I bring this together and here in a little bit when we had our in-home foster
licensing visit this woman was in our home and you have to tell them like everything about you
and so we had to do this family profile had to share a lot of my story even more than I've
told you all about the abuse and my dad and all kinds of stuff and she was sitting here in my home
and she said you know she was saying how you know blessed she was when she read it and just that
she was sorry that I went through those things and then she said you know it's really amazing
that you can live the life that you live and that you are as healthy as you are because a lot of
people that have been through the things that I've been through are not like able to function
and so it's by the grace of God that I am able to function the reason I'm saying that to you
is that I know that in my head but sometimes I forget that regarding my body physically when
I'm struggling that my body has literally been through a lot and my body at times is still
keeping score of the trauma even though my emotion and mental place is healed if that makes sense
and so I've had to learn and again even in this last week been processing forgiving myself
forgiving my body for times that I've gotten sick and I know that might seem like well isn't that
just you forgive like I didn't do anything wrong so my body didn't do anything wrong but there's
something about just giving that grace towards our body so I feel like part of you just kind of like
not partnering with my brain is tricking me or deceiving me or my brain is not good and it causes
you know where we think that it's bad does that make sense what I'm saying okay so that's kind
of number one and and I'm not saying that's going to be easy but where you start thanking your brain
because I'm going to tell you something here's the thing
thanking your brain for being strong and smart and
having a lot of creativity and imagination. You are a very creative person, Tatiana. You are a
feeler. I would dare say that you probably have gifts of words of knowledge, discernment, prophetic,
probably that are going to come out at some point in your life. And I think these gifts have just
gotten overextended through trauma as a kid. And here's the thing, even though you did not
physically go through the same thing as your parents did, generationally those things have
gotten passed down to you. And so there are things that you're going to feel the effects of them in
the spirit sometimes, especially for people that are feelers. And I know that you are, like I know
that about you've been in the program long enough. You have a tender heart, you know, and these are
not, these are not bad things. These are really, really good things. But see, the enemy has
convinced you that they're bad because you get tripped up and you get stuck in these loops. And
so now your brain is deceiving you. It's bad, you know, it's, how did you say, I don't know why my
brain keeps doing this. So even though you might not be saying like, ah brain, you're so dumb.
In a sense, sometimes we are doing that when we're like, why am I thinking that again? So I don't
know. You guys have these inner dialogues. I know that I do. Sometimes back in the day way more than
I do now. But it's not stupid for you to think and feel these ways. Okay. So I really want to
encourage you just to keep extending grace to yourself. And then interestingly enough, I watched
this movie called The Help last night. I try to watch that movie once a year. I know this might
sound, hopefully it doesn't sound dumb to people that are African American or of other ethnicities,
but I try to remember like, and think about things that I don't understand.
I don't know what it would be like to go through what some of those people, and I know it's just a
movie, but I believe it tells there's like aspects of what it shows that are probably true. And I want
to understand, I want to have compassion and I have biracial nieces and nephews and, you know,
just things that I want to culturally like be aware of. So I'm saying that to you to say one
of the things that the one maid in there does, the lady that was hired help, is she takes care
of this little girl. And she has her repeat, you is kind, you is smart, and you is important,
over and over again. And that is exactly how she says it. And it's so cute. She has her say it that
way. But I want to give that to you tonight, because you are kind, you are smart, and you are
important, and your brain is clever. And it's smart, and it's wise, and it's creative. But see,
the enemy has you just believing that it's hurting you and it's deceiving you. And at times, it feels
that way. Because it's scary what you're going through. But I want you to know that this is not
your forever. I know I've told you that before. And it's hard because you're in it. But you you
are so much further than when you first came in this program. You are you are you are. And I feel
like you're going to continue to get the breakthroughs that's going to help your mind not
get stuck in those loops. And so the one thing that I think is important is to also ask God to
replace the trauma things with good thoughts. And I don't know how that, you know, will all play out.
But to the point that I would encourage you to ask God to do it supernaturally while you're
sleeping. Like almost as if God, thank you for rewiring my brain, not taking out the good parts,
okay, but rewiring it so that I don't get traumatized and get stuck in a loop over and
over and over again. You know, and really know, again, that he's going to meet you as you go.
And here's one last thing, ladies, I think is important to share.
I can remember wanting to get delivered out of situations and wanting it to be immediate. Like
just I don't want to deal with this anymore. And being frustrated when I when that wouldn't happen.
And so I clung to stories like Joseph. And stories where people endured and they kept faithful,
they remained steadfast. And the reason I say that is because sometimes we have to go through.
And when we go through, it's not going to be for nothing. So Tatiana, the things that you're going
through right now, I know this won't make it easier either. But I just want you to know,
I think there's going to be other people that the knowledge that you're gaining
from navigating this, you're going to be able to
give that to someone else one day.
And I don't think that's why you're going through it necessarily, but God
will use it for good to save many people alive.
I think this is the enemy attacking you, that God is helping you navigate
it and, and will help you overcome it.
Um, and so, um, You know, a lot of times when we think negative, lady is one
of the things that we can do is worship.
And so Tatiana, when those negative loops start happening, and it might not
be easy to do this, but I want you to kind of have some worship ready, some
kind of worship ready that can help you shift out of that.
And so if those loops start happening and not necessarily, it might need to
be, um, well, Alina, yeah, but I don't want to lead her down that cause I
don't even know if that's really what's going on there.
Um, so I want you to like, maybe joy filled something that's like
the total opposite of fear.
Okay.
Might be love.
It might be joy, whatever kind of helps you shift into a place of feeling safe.
Does that make sense to you?
Yeah.
Okay.
So where you just let, and it might not work.
Okay.
But it might.
So let's just give that a try to, to see if that can help you
kind of shift out of the loop.
And if it doesn't work, don't beat yourself up.
Okay.
You're going to continue to be kind to yourself, speak good things over yourself.
Thank your brain for being able to think constructively, you know, and literally
just even like you can pray over your own mind, you know, ladies, I will put my
hand on my, my own mind and sometimes pray, God, thank you for helping me
have the mind of Christ right now.
The enemy's tormenting me the other day.
Okay.
Thank you, Lord.
This is the last thing I promise.
So I was sitting in a, um, Bible study and this is not the first
time this has happened, y'all.
And immediately all these really messed up, lustful thoughts came in my brain.
Choo choo.
Like crazy stuff that I don't even think about.
And I remember the first time, like just in my mind, not saying it out loud,
but like, what the heck is wrong with me?
Why am I thinking about this?
This is really messed up and just really being hard on myself.
And then the second time, kind of same thing.
Well, it happened again last Thursday and I caught on a lot quicker this time,
like, wait a minute, these are not my thoughts, literally in my head.
I'm like, these are not my thoughts.
And I just started praying, God, these are not my thoughts.
I pray that you would remove them, you know, cover my mind.
And I just started praying and they left.
Now they try to come back again, but then I just had to pray over myself.
And some of it is that we have to counteract the, the negative that is
the negative that is happening.
We got to stand up for ourselves, ladies.
And, and, you know, the intentionality that I have to have is legit because
there's something, I think there's a principality in that area because it's
45 minutes from where we're at right now.
It's at our other church and it's happened three times when I've been there.
Yeah.
So there might be certain things like when you're in certain places, Tatiana,
where you're recognizing that more.
So just try to stay really aware.
Uh, there was a scripture that I was reading when you guys were in the breakout.
This is what it says.
First Peter 5, 8, stay alert, watch out for your great enemy, the devil.
He prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.
But guess what?
He's not the lion.
There's a lion of the tribe of Judah and he is the lion and he
already won the victory for you.
So we just have to pray that God will help you apply the blood
and walk into that victory.
Okay.
All right.
And part of this lady is part of the coaching for Tatiana.
She lives with her parents.
Uh, there's some dynamics that I think the parents, not even that
they've done it intentionally, but they've brought some things into the home.
And so some of what she's overcoming is that some of it is heritage.
You all general, like cultural things that we encounter.
Even if we're in the U S that have come culturally with some of
the people that immigrated here, there's just a lot of dynamics going on.
So I know it can feel like, you know, I hope it didn't feel like I was
dismissing Alina, but I just, I know Tatiana's context and I know things
we've already kind of coached and work through and, you know, this has been a
process, so I just want to kind of redirect her to some other things to
see if that will work, uh, to help her continue to break free from this.
Um, but yeah, that can be true at times, Alina.
Okay.
All right.
We're going to go ahead and pray and close out father.
Thank you so much for this night.
We thank you God for everything that you've done already.
We thank you for healing and breakthroughs.
God, I pray and thank you for supernatural hazard hedges of protection
around these ladies that you're guarding and keeping watch over them.
That even when they are sleeping, you never.
slumber, God. You're looking over them and smiling. You're protecting them. You're moving
things that the enemy is sending their way out of their way that will never hit them.
God, we thank you that, yes, Lord, that you would give them Salem rest. God, that they would wake
up refreshed for the day tomorrow. God, that you continue to reveal things for healing. Let your
will be done in their lives on earth this night as you desire in heaven. In Jesus name, amen.
God bless you all. I hope you have a good night, everyone. Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.