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Um, all right, welcome ladies.

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It's so wonderful to be here.

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Um, it is, uh, the one o'clock Eastern call for love story accelerator.

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This is phase two.

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I'm here at last year's single.

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I'm Carla Johnson.

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I'm one of your coaches here.

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Um, if you've not met me before, it's wonderful to have you here with us.

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Um, I am trying to do some things a little bit differently so that we stay on time.

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I know for some of the ladies that have been here for a minute here with me know

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that that has been something that I personally have been working on.

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And so I am praying that I have found and unlocked the key to be able to do that.

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So, um, bear with me here.

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Uh, but yes, so I'm curious before we get started here, do I have any brand

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new ladies to phase two, anyone bring a new, I don't think there's a couple

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people, Natalie, I don't recognize you.

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And I apologize if you were here last week and I just, maybe you were on

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camera and I don't recognize you.

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Um, and again, sometimes if you ladies are in the app, it's again,

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I'm trying to put faces with names.

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Um, I just always ask because I don't want to miss anybody that is brand new.

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Um, I want to make sure that you feel seen loved and welcomed here in our new

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community, um, and phase two, because I know for a lot of you ladies, that is,

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that's can be like a big step, like going from phase one to phase two, where it's

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like, you get comfortable in phase one and then you have to shift over to phase

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two and you're like, but wait, I like want to go back.

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I know Catherine, you're smiling.

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I think you probably relate to that.

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Yeah.

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And so, um, I do that because I just want to make sure that I'm acknowledging that.

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Um, and so even if there's anybody on replay that is watching, um, watching

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and replay and you are, um, brand new, then we definitely want to welcome you as

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well.

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Okay, good.

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Natalie, that is your first time in phase two.

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Good.

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Sometimes I get it wrong and then I feel really terrible.

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Cause someone's like, no, I've been here for like a month, Carla.

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And I'm like, oh my gosh, I feel horrible.

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Um, and then, uh, or sometimes people show up to the eight o'clock and they've

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just been here for a couple months and they've never come to the one o'clock

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cause this one o'clock hour sometimes has smaller.

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Well, not sometimes it usually has smaller numbers because it's the middle of the day.

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Um, so I, I just want to make sure that I'm not leaving anybody out.

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Okay.

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Before I do our housekeeping items, um, I want to do things a little differently.

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I want to just take a minute and I want to, um, procrastination in phase one.

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Yep.

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I'm a big procrastinator myself, so I totally get that.

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Um, but I want to start off, um, each call on Tuesday, one o'clock.

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I want to just take a minute to just.

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Take time to celebrate, um, especially things that I'm noticing.

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Um, and so some things that I noticed this week when I was in the app is I noticed some

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new friendships being formed, which was really awesome.

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Um, I saw Tiffany and Karen, um, they got together.

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They took a picture and posted that, which I thought was really cool.

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Again, it's, it warms my heart because I've been in this community since the very beginning

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in 2020, um, when everything was shut down.

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And so it was, it was my connection when I, when we couldn't, couldn't connect in like

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real life, you know?

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And so I built a lot of relationships through this community.

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And then once things began to open up and we began traveling again, I actually got to

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meet so many of the women in this community when I was a single and I was at the time

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living in Florida.

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And so a lot of women would come down and so I would get to meet them that way.

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And I, like I cherish and treasure like that piece of this program.

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And so when I see that happening in the community, I just really want to celebrate that.

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Um, I noticed a lot of women just courageously, um, getting vulnerable with their questions.

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And so I just, I know for some of us that can be a challenge and it takes a lot of courage

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and bravery to do that.

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And so I want to celebrate that.

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Um, I recognize a lot of ladies are starting to slow down their pacing in relationships,

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which is awesome.

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Okay, that's one of the big steps as you move from phase one to phase two, and you go back

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into dating is learning how to pace our relationships again, and differently.

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Again, I'm seeing more women leaning into this community instead of hiding, which is

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huge.

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And just honest conversations are starting to happen and that allows for growth.

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And I know that's not always easy to come to a place where we might not know everybody

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and we have to get vulnerable and we have to have honest conversations with ourselves

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and rip band-aids off.

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But that's where the growth happens.

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And so I want to take a minute just to recognize that because that's not always easy, all right?

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Sometimes we don't want to hear the things that we don't want to hear.

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We don't want to have those honest conversations.

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And sometimes as a coach, it's a challenge to sit down and have those honest conversations,

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okay?

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Because we want to connect with you.

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We want you to feel safe with us and we want you to know that we love and adore you.

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And that is our heart.

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And so I appreciate when we recognize that and we can see that.

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And so again, I just want to celebrate that this community, especially if you're brand

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new to phase two, this community isn't about having all the answers, okay?

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Myself, Ebony, Bethany, and all the coaches that you have that you're going to have here

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at Last Year Single, we've definitely walked through this program.

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Some of us are single.

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Some of us were single and then our success stories and are married now.

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And we definitely carry some wisdom and some knowledge, but that doesn't mean that we have

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all the answers.

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Can God use us as a resource to unlock those answers?

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Certainly, you know, but the biggest thing about this community is, you know, not just

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finding the husband, but becoming the women that God has created us to be and learning

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to walk with Jesus and doing it together in community.

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And that's something to celebrate.

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Okay.

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And that doesn't always mean we're going to have the answers because even when we come

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to the Lord in prayer, I mean, I don't know about you all, but there's times I go to the

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Lord in prayer and he doesn't give me an answer right away.

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Does that happen for anybody else?

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Yeah, he doesn't always give me the answer right away.

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And so I don't want you to feel discouraged that when you come for coaching or you come

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in the app and ask for coaching, that we might not answer your question or we might not answer

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the question the way that you want to want to hear it.

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Okay.

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And we might answer it and it might not be something that's sitting with your spirit

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and that's okay.

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It's all about the process as us working together of walking out what Jesus wants us to learn

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in this process.

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And so I really just want to highlight that today.

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And so before we jump into the housekeeping and so just ladies keep showing up because

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I'm seeing a lot of fruit that's taking place and things that are starting to happen.

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I'm seeing growth take place.

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So I was really excited jumping an app this week and seeing all your posts.

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So a couple housekeeping items, I think we saw the, I think I asked if there was anybody

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brand new.

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I don't know if anybody else jumped on us.

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I got Natalie.

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She's brand new.

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I don't think anybody else is, but we want to definitely welcome you.

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If you are happy, if you happen to be watching this in replay, all right, so this doesn't

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apply to any ladies that are online with me right now, but if you are watching this in

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replay ladies, I want to encourage you to engage in the app throughout this week.

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Okay.

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We definitely encourage you to come to these live sessions.

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Okay.

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I mean, that's why we have two of them for the one o'clock Eastern and the eight 8 PM

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Eastern and hopes that we can at least fit at least one into your schedule.

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So we definitely want to see you live, but we get life happens.

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And if it does, we still want you engaging with us.

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Okay.

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I do want to remind you ladies that we do offer one-on-one coaching.

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It's not included in your membership.

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There is.

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feed to that, but it is available. You'll find that in the resource tab. What that includes is

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a 50-minute session with a coach that you set up with, okay, myself, Ebony, several other coaches

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were available to you. And so when you go to that page, you can click through all of the coaches

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and find whoever, you know, the Lord is leading you to schedule one with and what our schedules

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look like so that you can pick a day and a time that works best for you. And then, ladies, I want

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to keep encouraging you to complete those activations. I saw three ladies post, I think,

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last night and this morning, the activation. So I'm going to be looking at those. I'm excited

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about that. We had that flag audit last week. We talked about green, yellow, and red flags.

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And then we'll have another activation this week. The activation this week is

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really not daunting. It's something that you're going to be able to sporadically do throughout

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the week as questions come up in your heart of things that, you know, you're wanting

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resolution to, things that you're speaking with God with. So we'll get to that here in a minute.

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I also want to touch base on just what our community culture is here, especially in phase two.

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Like ladies, I really want us to make sure that we're focusing on celebrating and staying positive.

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That's important. My husband and I were actually just talking last night and yesterday through the

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day of how it's very easy for the world and society to look at things in a lens of what's not

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going well, what's negative. You know, you turn on the news and it's always negative, right?

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And we were having that conversation because I'm typically someone who's looking for solutions.

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All right. I'm looking at what can, what problems can I fix? What can I solve for people?

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How can I make things better? And so that can get challenging. And so

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I know myself, I have to really focus on making sure that I allow space and time for celebrating

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the good things that are happening. Because if we don't, we can get stuck in that. And so I really

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want us to make sure that that's what we're doing. I'm seeing a lot of that already and how you all

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are encouraging one another. I think it was, I think it's Kaylee. I've seen her a lot this week,

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just pouring in to a lot of ladies and their posts. And that's been awesome. I see a lot of

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other ladies too. That's just the one that comes to my mind and just the encouragement. And so

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we definitely want to celebrate each other. We want to encourage each other.

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We want to be able to receive. Okay. We want to have that open heart to receive. We want to be

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teachable. And so that's important. Okay. So just do those, those checks with yourself. Like,

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am I being teachable? Okay. Am I, am I hardening myself right now to what

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I'm being taught? Okay. I was notorious for that. All right. There'll be times that Jackie would

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coach me on something and I'd just be like, Oh, I don't like that. You know, I don't like what

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she's saying there. But I would have to spend time really making sure that I was going into

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a heart posture of being teachable. And again, we just want to make sure that we're growing together.

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Okay. We're, we're not looking for perfection. We have a lot of grace here. Especially as coaches,

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because we have, we've been working this program for quite some time. I know I'm a success story,

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but I actually practice a lot of heartwork principles still daily. Okay. So I get it.

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And we just want to, again, remind you ladies, like our heart here is to allow the space

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that every woman here deserves an opportunity to receive that thoughtful coaching.

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We want you to feel safe. We want you to feel supported. And that is important to us in

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creating that environment. And so one of the ways that we do that, and then one of the ways that you

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can help us do that is by allowing our coaching team to guide those reflective coaching questions

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in here on the calls, as well as in the app. And so, you know, I love, I want to continue to see

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the encouragement, but I want you to be mindful if you're catching yourself coaching other women.

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Okay. I had, when I was just a member here, I had to be mindful of that because I have a natural tendency.

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to want to coach and teach. It's just part of my gift. But when I did that, I

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oftentimes was shutting myself off to receive. And so we want to make sure that

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you ladies are opening yourself up to that being able to receive. And so just

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help us be able to do that. Okay? All right. I'm gonna give us a quick prayer.

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All right. I'm trying to shorten my prayers too, because I'm a person that

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could probably pray really long. And so I'm gonna try to limit myself there as

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well so that we can move through and make space for questions. Okay, so, um,

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yes. So Heavenly Father, I just thank you for today. Lord, I just ask that you

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just, um, bless each woman here today, Lord. Um, spend this this time together

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to teach us, show us, heal us and grow us. Lord, give us the space to receive

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what it is that you want to want to give us today. The wisdom that you want to

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pour into us, Lord. Open us up to being able to just receive, Lord, and, um,

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continuing to support one another, and be here for one another and grow with one

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another. And we ask this in your son's name. Amen. Okay, so today's topic is

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going to be on curiosity. All right. And with curiosity, that opens us up to

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this invitation to trust God. All right. And so this week, when I was reading

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through a lot of the post, I kept seeing the same invitation from God. And while I

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was looking at different posts from different women, with different

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situations, and different questions, I still was seeing the same invitation.

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And so I want to share and I want you you all like I'm going to I'm going to

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share some of the questions that I saw. And if any of them resonate with you

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where you're like, yep, that's me. That's a question that I had this week. Or, yeah,

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that's a question that I have often. That's something that comes up quite

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often in me. I want you to either just raise your avatar hand. If you can't

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raise your avatar hand in the chat and you'd be like, yep, me. Like, just, you know,

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put a little hand in the in the chat or just put like, that's me. Then I want you

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to do that because I want to see I want to kind of get a idea of if this is I

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think it is many of us but I'm just I want I want to see I'm just curious. Okay.

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So some of the questions that popped up that I noticed this week are, am I doing

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this right? Does anybody, does that, is that something that resonates with you?

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Like, am I doing this right? Is this a red flag? Or maybe, is this a red flag?

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Yellow flag? Is this a green flag? Like, tell me what flag this is. If you're, maybe

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you're dating. Hey, should I end this? What should I do about this situation? I end

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it. Do I keep going forward? Do I pause? Anybody else? Yeah. Okay. Am I attracting

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the wrong men? Like, what am I doing? Like, is there something that I'm doing

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that's attracting this type of man? Okay. I'm seeing hands. This is good. Okay. Did I

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ruin this? Y'all, that was a big one. I'm like, oh my gosh. Did I completely just

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ruin my chances? Did I ruin my opportunity with this guy that I was

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really interested in? Did I ruin it? Did I ruin my shot, my opportunity? This is

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another one. Did I miss God's best? Did I just shut something down that, what if

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God doesn't reappear? Yeah. Yes. Or like, that's another one. Or am I, like, am I

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not attracting anyone? Am I not attracting the right people? Or are people

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attracted to me? Okay. So those are the questions that I'm recognizing. And those

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are all definitely on the surface, ladies. Those are all dating questions, right? Or relationship

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questions, which is why we're here in phase two, okay? And so some of the ladies that are in our

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phase, they might not be dating yet. And so I know sometimes what happens is if my ladies in here

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that aren't dating, they feel like, well, I can't come to this phase or come to these calls because

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I'm not dating anyone. And ladies, I want to highlight something here. What God is highlighting

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to me as well is while these on the surface are dating questions, if we dig deeper, if we go below

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the surface, they're not just dating questions. They're questions about trust. They're trust

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questions. And those don't always mean it has to do with dating. Okay. And so, um, yeah. So like

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Laura said, she wasn't dating right away, so she can, she'll, and I know she'll be one too, that

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will tell you, like, she's shown up even in the season where she might not have been dating, but

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she was showing up and she was, um, participating and I'm, I'm sure she's gained a lot of wisdom

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through that. And so that's what I really want to focus on today when I talk about curiosity and

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the invitation to trust God. Okay. Um, a lot of those questions sound like, what should I do?

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Should I end it? Did I ruin it? Is this a red flag? Like, should I keep moving forward? Um,

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and so I couldn't help but wonder this week, like, what if God is asking us a different

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question or wants us to ask a different question? Um, it was interesting because, um, at my church

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this week, our, our pastor brought up those, um, this is going to age me, ladies, those, those

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nineties bracelets that, that catchphrase, the WWJD, what would Jesus do? Okay. He brought those

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up today. And of course, like we have a lot of young adults in our, our, our church, which is great,

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you know, um, which is great for my kids and stuff. I have some teen kids and, um, you know,

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it's funny to think like those kids had no idea what we were talking about. And I'm like, dang,

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I'm like, I'm old. I'm in my forties. And I'm like, is it really that long ago? Was it really

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that long ago that we had those? And so, you know, that question is like, what would Jesus do?

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And so we do, we come to that question. It's like, what should I do? Like, Jesus, what would you do?

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Should I end it? Should I not like, is this a red flag? Is this not? And so, um, I got to thinking

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what if that's not the question we need to be asking? What should I do? But instead,

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maybe God's wanting us to ask us, what am I trying to show you?

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What is it that I'm trying to show you? Because that question is going to change the posture of

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our hearts completely. And so if you listen to this week's, um, Supernatural Saturday,

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I know it was a little short cause Jackie was, uh, was traveling and I know like it kind of

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ended and some people were like, Whoa, what happened? Um, but she emphasized this week.

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And if you haven't listened to it, I encourage you ladies every week, if you cannot jump live,

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jump on live, watch the replay of Supernatural Saturday. Um, she, she mentions, um, and she kind

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of talks a little bit about that prayer that she, she often brings to this community that she learned

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to pray a long time ago was teach me, show me, heal me, grow me. And it really is a heart posture

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prayer that really shifts how we pray. We're not going and seeking for the actual answer.

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We're asking the Lord to, to, to do more in our hearts. Um, it will shift the focus completely.

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It will shift the focus completely. And so I know I'm definitely at times can go to the Lord

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and prayer and be like, Lord, I need you to do this for me, or I need to see this.

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Okay. And I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I think that's human.

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Like it's, that's, that's natural. That's, it's humanly natural to want,

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want those prayers of where we're asking for certainty. It's natural to want certainty.

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And I know that's come up.

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a lot in the last several weeks for a lot of us is that we want certainty. We

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just want to know what it's gonna look like. But I can't help but think what God

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is really starting to reveal to us in this season is that what he wants deeper

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is the transformation. It's that invitation for us to actually transform

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our hearts. And so when we shift our prayer and we shift that focus it

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actually allows God to start working and shifting and doing that heartwork in us.

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And it starts that healing process. Okay and so the curiosity doesn't

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necessarily remove wisdom because I think sometimes people are like but I

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just want wisdom. I want certainty. I want wisdom. And we're not asking you to

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eliminate that altogether. Curiosity doesn't mean that we're gonna ignore

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red flags ladies. It doesn't mean that we're gonna tolerate unhealthy

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behaviors that are showing up. And it doesn't mean we're gonna stay somewhere

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that God is prompting us and asking us to leave. The curiosity what it does is

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it actually gives us this gift of time to gather more information before

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drawing conclusions when it's appropriate to do so. It actually allows

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us to sit and listen and really get a heart transformation and posture our

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hearts so that more can be done. And so one thing I noticed and I noticed this

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in myself and I noticed it here in this community as well. Not just currently but

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over the last five almost six years of being in this community many of us want

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certainty because it feels safe. I know I do. Ladies I'm right there with you.

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Y'all if I could spend this you know 90 minutes with you know sit and y'all just

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have a testimony hour with you. I mean the things that I could unpack over the

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last three years of you know my success story. You know I know y'all are here

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single but you know I moved from the single and then I found someone I

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still wanted certainty. And I had to like we all want the certainty of like the

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marriage the promise of the husband. Yeah I had it and then I still wanted

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certainty. We don't ever have this like not wanting certainty. We just we get the

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certainty and then we still want more certainty. And so I mean we want it

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because it feels safe to us. But ladies I have to tell you that certainty isn't

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what's gonna transform us. That's a reality. Walking with God through the

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uncertainty that's where the transformation happens. That's the growth.

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I know that's not always what we want to hear but I also want us to recognize but

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that doesn't also mean that God does not come in his timing and gives us the

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certainty and the promises that he has given us. He gives us promises but guess

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what ladies every promise is gonna have a process and it's those that process is

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the preparation. And so I don't want you ladies ignoring the process and the

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uncertainty and that transformation that can happen because that is such a great

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gift that's actually going to prepare you for the promise that's gonna take

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you into another season of again you're gonna want certainty. I promise you that.

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Okay all right take it from me the certainty of once I found my like my

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husband found me like it felt good for a while but then when I stepped into that

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season oh there was more stuff I thought I arrived ladies that lasted for a brief

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moment okay and so I don't want you to like ignore that gift of this season

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right now

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of what God's doing right now, in you, in this season, in this community, in this

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single season, right before he delivers this promise of a husband for you.

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Ladies, he's going to deliver that promise to you. You're gonna look back

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and be like, and cherish this single season. And there's gonna be moments

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where you're gonna be like, oh, I'm so thankful of the preparation that I did.

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Because the preparation that you did now is going to give you the, um, the, the

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capacity and the wisdom to carry out what's coming ahead. And you're gonna be so, so

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grateful that you absorbed that. Okay? And so, um, before moving on, I want to give

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you some practical examples. And so if you want to write these down, you can. If

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you want to watch and replay and then take notes in the replay, you can always

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do that as well. So instead of ladies asking yourself, should I end this

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relationship? Okay? And I'm not saying that you're not gonna ask these

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questions. You're still gonna ask the question, should I end this relationship?

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But I also want you asking yourself, I want you to go deeper. I also want you to

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try asking yourself, Lord, teach me what you're revealing. So instead of just

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asking, should I end this relationship? Also ask, Lord, teach me what you're

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revealing. Instead of asking, did I ruin this? Try praying, Lord, show me what's

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happening inside of me. That's a transformative prayer. That is one that's

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going to grow you. Instead of asking, what does this mean about him? We're

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good at that, ladies. We want to, we want to analyze these dudes. We want to figure

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all of them out. Yeah. When sometimes we just need to figure ourselves out. So

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instead of asking, what does this mean about him? Instead ask, Lord, what are you

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growing in me?

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This is another one. This one's a huge one. You ready for this one, ladies? Instead

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of asking, how do I know if he's my husband? This is the one we want to ask.

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You just want that certainty. Is he my husband? I want you to pause and ask

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yourself, what are you teaching me today?

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All right. I don't want to spend too much time, but I do want to kind of give you,

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you know, my own personal story. I won't go into too much detail because I want to

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save room for time for questions. But there was a time when I was in the season,

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and I think I've, I've shared this prior. I know I shared this earlier, but I

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think one of my one-on-one calls earlier in the week or the last couple of weeks,

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there was a time that when I was in the season and I was dating, and I was dating a

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really, really great guy. He was really intentional, so respectful, like so

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considerate of me, complimented me often, really made me feel seen and cherished,

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adored, was really respectful and considerate of the fact that I was a single mom.

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You know, one of the things that he did was, you know, he would, you know,

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I was a single mom. You know, one of the things that he did was he always offered

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to pay for my babysitter. And I was like, Oh my gosh, you don't need to do that.

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You know, like I've just genuinely, I was like, guys never really did that before.

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And I was, you know, I was blessed in my community that I didn't always have to

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pay for a sitter. I had really close friends and church family that offered to

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watch my son without me needing to pay them. Oftentimes their kids were friends

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with my son and.

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My son coming over actually gave them a break from their own kids because the kids just played really well together

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Dana, yeah, she knows what I'm talking about. Like sometimes I'm like, yeah, bring the kids over because then my kids get out of my hair

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I don't know what it is. Like when you introduce another kid into the mix

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It's like your kids stop fighting

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Because there's like another kid in in the in the mix

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And so I didn't always have to do that, but I really valued and appreciated this guy

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For recognizing it to being considerate of it. Just genuinely

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He was a believer. I knew he was a believer. We talked about

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Faith and we talked about our walk with God and so on paper like he was a really great guy

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Physically, I wasn't like he wasn't unattractive, but I I wasn't physically drawn to him

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but that was a season in my life where I felt like God was

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Working in me like not to look at the physical but to look more at the heart

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because I in my 20s was always looking at the physical appearance and

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Dating guys that I was physically attracted to and that was always leaning towards the physical

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and so I was always

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understanding me

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in relationships where

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Their hearts were not

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very good and

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Weren't treating me well, and so I was in toxic relationships where yeah like on the outside

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They were really attractive

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But on the inside it was not and so

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that was a season and so I just kind of overlooked that but I

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Just couldn't land on I don't I don't know if if I need to continue with this guy or not

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He definitely was pursuing me. He wanted a relationship with me. I was still really unsure

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and

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Ladies, I would love to tell you that God gave me an answer

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When I went to prayer Lord, do I move forward? Do I not?

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Ladies God didn't give me an answer

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I had to make a decision and

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Just go with it and I didn't know whether my decision was the right decision or not. I

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Didn't have certainty

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but God

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Was working something else in me

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He was transforming my heart into something bigger was learning to trust him in the uncertainty

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Learning y'all I'm a control freak I

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Want to control things like you have no idea

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something I still have to work on daily and

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So back then I mean this was years ago. This was like four or five years ago

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Yeah, it would be for like four years ago and

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I

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like I didn't know what the answer was and so I just made a decision to just go ahead and end things and

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I was like Lord did I am I ending this and am I ruining my shot?

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No, I didn't have a lot of guys that wanted to continue to date me like I go on one date

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Typically wasn't getting a second date

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For whatever reason, okay

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and so I had some fear the one guy out of

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Several and out of a really long time of being in last year single

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The one guy that's actually wanting to

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Be exclusive I'm saying no, sorry. Bye

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And I was like, I don't know if I'm doing this right

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But I was like, okay

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What's happening in me? I just felt like I had to kind of separate. I I didn't have a piece about it

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and I was like, okay, I

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There was a few

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Yellow flags that I was like, okay. This is giving me information. And so I'm gonna go off the information that I have

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Okay, there was good information. There was also some other information some yellow flags that

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Really kind of didn't align with

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What I was, you know praying

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for God for

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and

424
00:39:32.440 --> 00:39:38.720
And I'm not gonna go into too much detail there, but I released this guy and ladies for a year

425
00:39:41.000 --> 00:39:44.920
Every now and then the the conversation would get brought up and

426
00:39:45.440 --> 00:39:48.880
And Jackie would be the one like hey, whatever happened to that one guy that you were dating

427
00:39:49.880 --> 00:39:50.960
and

428
00:39:50.960 --> 00:39:58.400
I'd be like, oh my gosh. Does this mean I ruined it? Is she bringing it up because he was my my only shot

429
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:08.600
And this happened a couple times, but I had to lean on trusting God because when I released

430
00:40:08.600 --> 00:40:13.880
that and I went to the Lord and I went to him in prayer and he didn't give me an answer,

431
00:40:13.880 --> 00:40:19.360
I said, okay, God, I'm going to give, I'm here, here's my decision.

432
00:40:19.360 --> 00:40:21.200
And this is what I'm praying to you, Lord.

433
00:40:21.200 --> 00:40:29.960
I need you that if I need to trust you with this God, God, if I made the wrong

434
00:40:29.960 --> 00:40:36.840
decision, and I'm not in alignment with what you want for me in my life.

435
00:40:36.840 --> 00:40:39.040
And there's some fear that I made this decision.

436
00:40:39.040 --> 00:40:41.640
I need you to reveal that to me.

437
00:40:41.640 --> 00:40:44.360
And I need you to bring this man back into my life.

438
00:40:44.360 --> 00:40:49.080
Not by my will, not by my doing, not by my prompting.

439
00:40:49.080 --> 00:40:57.120
I need you to put him in my life so that I know it's you and it's not me forcing something.

440
00:40:57.120 --> 00:40:59.020
I need to let go of my control.

441
00:40:59.020 --> 00:41:03.340
That was something that God was working in me.

442
00:41:03.340 --> 00:41:08.780
And I'm like, but if this is the right decision, I'm going to trust that you're going to keep

443
00:41:08.780 --> 00:41:10.820
the door closed.

444
00:41:10.820 --> 00:41:15.100
So ladies, all through a year, like there were times I'm like, oh, is this, this God

445
00:41:15.100 --> 00:41:17.380
putting him back in my life?

446
00:41:17.380 --> 00:41:18.860
And I would want to go reach out to him.

447
00:41:18.860 --> 00:41:28.860
And God's like, no, Carla, that's you trying to control the situation, sit, let me sort

448
00:41:28.860 --> 00:41:29.860
it out.

449
00:41:29.860 --> 00:41:30.860
I'm like, okay, fine.

450
00:41:30.860 --> 00:41:33.020
So I'd have to sit on my hands.

451
00:41:33.020 --> 00:41:36.660
Not something that I'm very good at y'all.

452
00:41:36.660 --> 00:41:43.780
A week before my husband reached out to me, I had a conversation with Jackie and she brought

453
00:41:43.780 --> 00:41:44.780
up this guy again.

454
00:41:44.780 --> 00:41:49.580
And I honestly considered reaching back out to that guy a year after I kind of ended it

455
00:41:49.580 --> 00:41:54.060
with him, but God reminded me again, don't do it.

456
00:41:54.060 --> 00:41:55.700
So I sat on my hands.

457
00:41:55.700 --> 00:42:05.820
A week later, my husband dropped into my DMs and the rest is history.

458
00:42:05.820 --> 00:42:12.700
I later found out after I was dating my husband, that the guy that I was like had dated, he

459
00:42:12.700 --> 00:42:15.660
was already in a relationship and moved on.

460
00:42:15.660 --> 00:42:18.100
And I was like, oh, thank the Lord.

461
00:42:18.100 --> 00:42:22.180
I could have probably got myself in a really awkward position and probably discouraged

462
00:42:22.180 --> 00:42:24.340
myself even more.

463
00:42:24.340 --> 00:42:29.220
And I was already in a pretty discouraged place, believe it or not.

464
00:42:29.220 --> 00:42:36.420
But God actually like, when I look back, I'm like, he was actually doing something else

465
00:42:36.420 --> 00:42:39.220
deeper in me.

466
00:42:39.220 --> 00:42:49.420
He was helping me see what it looked like to trust him and to not control a situation

467
00:42:49.420 --> 00:42:52.740
and that he wasn't withholding any answers from me.

468
00:42:53.140 --> 00:42:55.020
Because he didn't, remember, he didn't give me an answer.

469
00:42:55.020 --> 00:42:57.460
I had to decide for myself.

470
00:42:57.460 --> 00:43:05.900
He was actually inviting me to have deeper intimacy with him.

471
00:43:05.900 --> 00:43:14.460
And I get to look back as I carry on my life and I have moments where I don't get certainty

472
00:43:14.460 --> 00:43:19.700
and I get to recall that time like, Lord, you didn't give me answers then, but you still

473
00:43:19.700 --> 00:43:22.340
came through.

474
00:43:22.340 --> 00:43:25.900
I didn't know the answer then, but I let you have it.

475
00:43:25.900 --> 00:43:31.500
I put it at your feet and I didn't try to control it and you still gave me my promise

476
00:43:31.500 --> 00:43:35.100
and it looked way better than I thought I could imagine it.

477
00:43:35.100 --> 00:43:47.460
So now when I sit in my life now in some uncertainty, I get to remember, this is not about having

478
00:43:47.460 --> 00:43:48.500
God give me the answer.

479
00:43:48.500 --> 00:43:52.580
This is not about a coach at last year's single giving me the answer of what is it

480
00:43:52.580 --> 00:43:55.740
that I'm supposed to do.

481
00:43:55.740 --> 00:44:00.300
This is, God, what are you trying to do inside my heart?

482
00:44:00.300 --> 00:44:02.900
How are you trying to transform me?

483
00:44:02.900 --> 00:44:06.240
What are you inviting me into?

484
00:44:06.240 --> 00:44:09.900
How do you want me to grow deeper into intimacy with you, Father?

485
00:44:09.900 --> 00:44:16.000
Because ladies, that intimacy that you all are going to continue to build with the Father

486
00:44:16.160 --> 00:44:21.960
in this season is going to benefit your marriage.

487
00:44:21.960 --> 00:44:25.520
I promise you that.

488
00:44:25.520 --> 00:44:35.160
It really is going to give you the capacity for what marriage is about.

489
00:44:35.160 --> 00:44:40.360
There is so much growth in marriage and we want, like having that foundation, that deep

490
00:44:40.360 --> 00:44:47.160
intimacy with the Father is what's going to help sustain when the enemy wants to come

491
00:44:47.160 --> 00:44:54.560
kill, steal and destroy marriage and family.

492
00:44:54.560 --> 00:44:58.400
So I know when we're sitting in this single season, we're frustrated.

493
00:44:58.400 --> 00:44:59.400
We want the certainty.

494
00:44:59.400 --> 00:45:00.040
I just want to know.

495
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:11.000
Oh God, but ladies, I'm here to tell you there's something deeper that God's inviting you into.

496
00:45:11.000 --> 00:45:13.460
And so that's not to discourage you.

497
00:45:13.460 --> 00:45:22.260
That's to encourage you and it's to give you hope that every single circumstance and situation

498
00:45:22.260 --> 00:45:29.380
that you're walking through right now in the season, God is using for his glory.

499
00:45:29.380 --> 00:45:40.260
He is using to equip you and to grow you and to draw you nearer to him.

500
00:45:40.260 --> 00:45:48.360
And so I want that to resonate with you ladies this week because God isn't going to address

501
00:45:48.360 --> 00:45:52.420
and answer every dating question immediately.

502
00:45:52.420 --> 00:45:54.420
Okay.

503
00:45:54.420 --> 00:46:03.760
If he did, we might find a husband, but we could actually miss becoming the woman that

504
00:46:03.760 --> 00:46:09.200
he's actually inviting us to become.

505
00:46:09.200 --> 00:46:16.480
God isn't simply just preparing us for marriage, but he's preparing us for that deeper intimacy

506
00:46:16.480 --> 00:46:18.820
with him.

507
00:46:18.820 --> 00:46:27.180
And ladies, like having walked through this program, that is another one of the big gifts

508
00:46:27.180 --> 00:46:31.580
and fruits of this community.

509
00:46:31.580 --> 00:46:34.060
It's not always getting the answer.

510
00:46:34.060 --> 00:46:45.060
It's becoming the woman that knows how to walk with God even when we don't have an answer.

511
00:46:45.060 --> 00:46:53.200
And then when God delivers the promise of your husband, you get someone else to walk

512
00:46:53.200 --> 00:46:55.020
that out in.

513
00:46:55.020 --> 00:46:56.020
And guess what, ladies?

514
00:46:56.020 --> 00:47:00.860
Your husband's going to have to discover that for himself as well.

515
00:47:00.860 --> 00:47:02.260
And so that's what you pray for.

516
00:47:02.260 --> 00:47:08.620
You pray for a man that in this season, while you're waiting for him to find you, that God

517
00:47:08.620 --> 00:47:14.300
is working this in him as well.

518
00:47:14.300 --> 00:47:20.620
We work on ourselves and our husbands are working on them because ladies, I will even

519
00:47:20.620 --> 00:47:30.360
attest to the fact that men's connection and intimacy with the Lord will look completely

520
00:47:30.360 --> 00:47:35.100
different than the way the feminine's intimacy looks with the Lord.

521
00:47:35.100 --> 00:47:38.340
And that will be something that you'll grow in.

522
00:47:38.440 --> 00:47:44.180
And so it will be very wise to be praying that in while you're waiting for these men

523
00:47:44.180 --> 00:47:45.980
to find you.

524
00:47:45.980 --> 00:47:47.780
And ladies, I'll be honest with you.

525
00:47:47.780 --> 00:47:56.100
I was frequently having prayers to my husband in the spirit being like, you better get off

526
00:47:56.100 --> 00:48:01.860
your bum and figure this out and find me quickly because I'm tired of waiting on you.

527
00:48:01.860 --> 00:48:03.740
All right.

528
00:48:03.740 --> 00:48:08.780
It doesn't mean that we don't have those moments, okay?

529
00:48:08.780 --> 00:48:11.380
We do, okay?

530
00:48:11.380 --> 00:48:15.140
Yes, he does need to hurry up.

531
00:48:15.140 --> 00:48:16.140
Absolutely.

532
00:48:16.140 --> 00:48:17.140
100%.

533
00:48:17.140 --> 00:48:20.780
Hurry up.

534
00:48:20.780 --> 00:48:25.700
But definitely just embrace that.

535
00:48:25.700 --> 00:48:30.080
I really hope this teaching that you ladies will embrace that.

536
00:48:30.080 --> 00:48:31.660
So we're going to get ready and take questions.

537
00:48:31.660 --> 00:48:34.620
But before we do that, I want to jump into the weekly activation.

538
00:48:34.620 --> 00:48:36.260
It's really quick this week.

539
00:48:36.260 --> 00:48:42.900
So the activation this week is before asking God for an answer this week, okay?

540
00:48:42.900 --> 00:48:47.540
Before you sit with God and ask him to give you an answer this week, I want y'all to pause

541
00:48:47.540 --> 00:48:51.660
and I want you to pray that Jackie prayer.

542
00:48:51.660 --> 00:48:55.300
Teach me, show me, heal me, grow me.

543
00:48:55.300 --> 00:48:59.020
Really want you to sit in that heart posture of transformation.

544
00:48:59.020 --> 00:49:04.340
And then I want you to share one thing that God revealed to you this week.

545
00:49:04.340 --> 00:49:09.260
And that doesn't necessarily mean that you're going to share the answer that he gave you.

546
00:49:09.260 --> 00:49:16.460
But what I'm looking for is what revelation did he reveal to you with your question?

547
00:49:16.460 --> 00:49:21.440
All right, practicing those questions, all right?

548
00:49:21.440 --> 00:49:26.260
So I will post that up later this evening, that activation, so that you'll have that

549
00:49:26.260 --> 00:49:27.260
in the app.

550
00:49:28.260 --> 00:49:33.260
Let's go ahead and get started on our coaching piece, because this is definitely one of my

551
00:49:33.260 --> 00:49:41.660
favorite parts about our Tuesday calls, because this is where we get to learn and grow from

552
00:49:41.660 --> 00:49:43.880
one another's experiences.

553
00:49:43.880 --> 00:49:47.100
So if you've got a question, I want you to go ahead and put your hand up.

554
00:49:47.100 --> 00:49:48.100
All right?

555
00:49:48.100 --> 00:49:49.980
I know Dana's got one.

556
00:49:49.980 --> 00:49:52.140
Don't be shy, ladies, okay?

557
00:49:52.140 --> 00:49:55.940
We've got at least about a good 40 minutes, okay?

558
00:49:55.940 --> 00:49:59.140
That should be enough to get through like four to six ladies.

559
00:49:59.140 --> 00:50:00.020
So if there's more...

560
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:06.960
You definitely come with your questions. Okay. It's a little sometimes I know we can spend a

561
00:50:06.960 --> 00:50:12.400
little more time. Good. Now I'm getting some questions. Awesome. Okay. Just a reminder. Okay.

562
00:50:12.400 --> 00:50:20.160
If you, if, if while I'm taking these questions, if we've got some more, keep in mind, ladies,

563
00:50:20.160 --> 00:50:26.320
we want to try to keep these questions to about two minutes. All right. So that we can really

564
00:50:26.320 --> 00:50:32.080
just land on the one specific question that you want mostly answered. Now, if you have multiple

565
00:50:32.080 --> 00:50:37.440
questions and that happens, okay, we're going to work or do our best to work through everybody

566
00:50:37.440 --> 00:50:42.640
first, and then we'll circle back. If there's enough time, because remember, again, I really

567
00:50:42.640 --> 00:50:50.480
want to do our best to make space so that every woman gets the opportunity. Then when we keep our

568
00:50:50.480 --> 00:50:57.920
questions and we kind of just share the, just the little bit of context and we land on the question,

569
00:50:58.480 --> 00:51:04.480
it allows for myself and any other coaches on any other calls to really be able to

570
00:51:05.600 --> 00:51:14.720
give each lady a sincere, thoughtful response. But then we get to have the opportunity to coach

571
00:51:15.440 --> 00:51:19.360
the community as a whole. And so we want to be able to have that opportunity to do that.

572
00:51:20.000 --> 00:51:28.400
And we don't want to take all that time. If we don't get to your question before you have to

573
00:51:28.400 --> 00:51:33.600
hop off. So maybe you have to hop off before the call ends. Put your question in the Zoom chat

574
00:51:34.480 --> 00:51:39.040
and we'll do our best to answer it before we end the call. So that if you want to catch it in replay,

575
00:51:39.600 --> 00:51:48.160
if time runs out, post it in the last year single app and we'll be happy to get your question

576
00:51:48.800 --> 00:51:56.640
there. Okay. All right, Dana, I'm going to take your question. Then I got Luani, I got Fran, and

577
00:51:56.640 --> 00:52:01.440
then I got Laura. And again, if any other ladies decide, okay, I'm going to be bold and I'm going

578
00:52:01.440 --> 00:52:08.320
to ask my question, go ahead and throw up your avatar hand. Okay. All right, Dana, you may unmute.

579
00:52:08.320 --> 00:52:15.280
How are you doing? I just want to give you an update. I do have a question as well, but I want

580
00:52:15.280 --> 00:52:25.840
to give you an update. They found no cancer. None. I am so grateful. I still have to go and see,

581
00:52:25.840 --> 00:52:32.880
I still have to go and have some surgery. But I'm believing that that is going to show up

582
00:52:32.880 --> 00:52:40.640
absolutely nothing. So it's been a couple of months. Yeah. Thank you so much for praying.

583
00:52:41.280 --> 00:52:46.480
Absolutely. Yeah. I'm still, I'm still contending for you in the spirit, Dana.

584
00:52:47.520 --> 00:52:55.840
When is that surgery? Oh, this is Canada. I have no idea. It'll be, it'll be months. Okay. And

585
00:52:55.840 --> 00:53:04.320
it's just a DNC. So it'll be, it'll be a day surgery kind of thing. Okay. Okay. Well keep,

586
00:53:04.320 --> 00:53:13.200
keep me posted when that is so that we can be praying for that. God is so good. Praise the Lord.

587
00:53:16.160 --> 00:53:17.920
Girl, I got goosebumps. I'm so thankful.

588
00:53:18.240 --> 00:53:28.320
God is so good. Yes. And amen. I love it. All right. And then I have, I'm in the,

589
00:53:28.320 --> 00:53:37.600
I'm in the modern dating sucks book club book club. Thank you. And we're supposed to put

590
00:53:37.600 --> 00:53:45.600
up an advisory team together. And I'm wondering like, could this be my team? Because one of the

591
00:53:45.600 --> 00:53:50.240
things Jackie was talking about was that the people needed to have known you for a long time.

592
00:53:50.240 --> 00:53:58.640
And the people in my life now have only known me for a very short time because I haven't been in

593
00:53:58.640 --> 00:54:07.040
my church for very long. And the people from my past aren't in my life anymore, or the ones that

594
00:54:07.040 --> 00:54:14.960
are, wouldn't be helpful. I don't see why not. Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, I was going to say,

595
00:54:15.040 --> 00:54:17.680
I was going to ask her and then we ran out of time. Yeah. And I mean,

596
00:54:17.680 --> 00:54:21.920
I can go double check, but I don't see why not. I mean, because you show up here.

597
00:54:24.400 --> 00:54:27.680
What does the advisory team look like? What is she, what is she asking y'all to do?

598
00:54:29.200 --> 00:54:36.960
It's three to five people who know you who not just know your potential or what they want for

599
00:54:36.960 --> 00:54:44.720
you, but they want the best for you. And they're willing to call you on your stupid behavior.

600
00:54:45.120 --> 00:54:52.640
Okay. Okay. I'm going to, okay. If you use us for that, this is what I'm going to challenge you

601
00:54:52.640 --> 00:54:59.840
with. Okay. Yeah. It's not just going to be you showing up on the zoom. Okay. I want to see.

602
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:03.840
you posting in the app.

603
00:55:03.840 --> 00:55:04.840
Okay.

604
00:55:04.840 --> 00:55:05.840
Can you do that?

605
00:55:05.840 --> 00:55:06.840
Yeah.

606
00:55:06.840 --> 00:55:07.840
I want more updates from you.

607
00:55:07.840 --> 00:55:12.560
I want more insight so that we can kind of see what's going on.

608
00:55:12.560 --> 00:55:19.680
That will help us have more eyes on you and help you be accountable.

609
00:55:19.680 --> 00:55:20.680
Sound good?

610
00:55:20.680 --> 00:55:21.680
Yeah.

611
00:55:21.680 --> 00:55:22.680
Okay.

612
00:55:22.680 --> 00:55:23.680
That makes sense.

613
00:55:23.680 --> 00:55:24.680
Thank you.

614
00:55:25.680 --> 00:55:30.520
with the commitment that you're going to post more.

615
00:55:30.520 --> 00:55:31.520
Okay.

616
00:55:31.520 --> 00:55:32.520
Thank you.

617
00:55:32.520 --> 00:55:33.520
You're welcome.

618
00:55:33.520 --> 00:55:34.520
All right.

619
00:55:34.520 --> 00:55:35.520
Thank you so much, Dana.

620
00:55:35.520 --> 00:55:36.520
And again, praise Jesus.

621
00:55:36.520 --> 00:55:37.520
I love it.

622
00:55:37.520 --> 00:55:38.520
Thank you for that update.

623
00:55:38.520 --> 00:55:39.520
All right.

624
00:55:39.520 --> 00:55:40.520
Luani.

625
00:55:40.520 --> 00:55:41.520
Hey, girl.

626
00:55:41.520 --> 00:55:42.520
It's so good to see you.

627
00:55:42.520 --> 00:55:43.520
Hi.

628
00:55:43.520 --> 00:55:44.520
How are you doing?

629
00:55:44.520 --> 00:55:45.520
Well, Dana, praises to God.

630
00:55:45.520 --> 00:55:46.520
That was, you know, amazing news.

631
00:55:46.520 --> 00:56:04.440
So, well, I had to stop a dating app because I was having heart palpitations.

632
00:56:04.440 --> 00:56:07.440
I was having trouble sleeping.

633
00:56:07.440 --> 00:56:09.280
It was a mess.

634
00:56:09.280 --> 00:56:14.760
It was basically three weeks on Bumble and it drove me nuts.

635
00:56:14.760 --> 00:56:17.800
It made me question every single thing.

636
00:56:17.800 --> 00:56:24.480
Apparently, every single guy wants a very fit person, like a very active person.

637
00:56:24.480 --> 00:56:30.520
Apparently here in Tulsa, everybody hunts and I'm a vegetarian.

638
00:56:30.520 --> 00:56:35.400
Everybody is outdoorsy and wants to camp.

639
00:56:35.400 --> 00:56:39.720
So it's like, I, yeah, I don't know.

640
00:56:39.720 --> 00:56:40.720
Yeah.

641
00:56:40.720 --> 00:56:41.720
You're in Oklahoma, aren't you?

642
00:56:41.720 --> 00:56:42.720
Yeah.

643
00:56:42.720 --> 00:56:43.720
I mean, goodness.

644
00:56:43.720 --> 00:56:48.600
How far away are you from North Texas?

645
00:56:48.600 --> 00:56:50.360
Four hours by car.

646
00:56:50.360 --> 00:56:56.760
North Texas has some guys that are not, I mean, we got our outdoorsy hunting men here,

647
00:56:56.760 --> 00:57:02.800
but once you get closer to the Metroplex, it gets a little more bougie.

648
00:57:02.800 --> 00:57:07.840
So if you're able to travel and do long distance, I'm just going to throw that out there.

649
00:57:07.840 --> 00:57:08.840
Okay.

650
00:57:08.840 --> 00:57:09.840
That might be a solution.

651
00:57:09.840 --> 00:57:10.840
Okay.

652
00:57:10.840 --> 00:57:11.840
There you go.

653
00:57:11.840 --> 00:57:12.840
It's not that far from home.

654
00:57:12.960 --> 00:57:17.040
It gives me a little bit of hope.

655
00:57:17.040 --> 00:57:30.680
So after this experience, I've had to reflect on a lot of things and one being, why am I

656
00:57:30.680 --> 00:57:37.520
allowing frustration to both just be something I'd just shut down to, you know, kind of like,

657
00:57:37.520 --> 00:57:42.800
this is frustrating me, bam, away from the apps.

658
00:57:43.760 --> 00:57:48.560
And then a second thing happened when, while I'm Brazilian, we're following the World Cup

659
00:57:48.560 --> 00:57:56.640
and the whole group of 30 Brazilians that live in Tulsa are meeting up.

660
00:57:56.640 --> 00:57:57.640
I love it.

661
00:57:57.640 --> 00:57:58.640
Girl, this is another reason.

662
00:57:58.640 --> 00:58:01.840
Come to Dallas because they've been, they've all been, I mean, I don't know if the Brazilians

663
00:58:01.840 --> 00:58:05.980
are playing here, but we've had a, like.

664
00:58:05.980 --> 00:58:08.240
They actually played yesterday in Houston.

665
00:58:08.240 --> 00:58:09.240
Okay.

666
00:58:09.240 --> 00:58:10.240
Yeah.

667
00:58:10.680 --> 00:58:14.680
And I was just, people in Dallas, like my son had a baseball tournament in like the

668
00:58:14.680 --> 00:58:15.800
Arlington area.

669
00:58:15.800 --> 00:58:19.920
And I was like, during the time of the World Cup, I'm like, are we going to be battling

670
00:58:19.920 --> 00:58:21.680
this massive traffic?

671
00:58:21.680 --> 00:58:24.000
But yes, lots of stuff going on with World Cup.

672
00:58:24.000 --> 00:58:25.000
Okay.

673
00:58:25.000 --> 00:58:28.480
So all these Brazilians in Tulsa, they're all meeting up.

674
00:58:28.480 --> 00:58:29.480
Okay.

675
00:58:29.480 --> 00:58:30.480
Yeah.

676
00:58:30.480 --> 00:58:35.160
So I was sharing two, three girls that I know better about the thing.

677
00:58:35.160 --> 00:58:38.920
And then one of them just leaves and returns with a guy.

678
00:58:38.920 --> 00:58:41.760
And she's like, here, here's your solution.

679
00:58:41.760 --> 00:58:44.760
And I'm like, no.

680
00:58:44.760 --> 00:58:47.280
So she set you up?

681
00:58:47.280 --> 00:58:48.280
Yeah.

682
00:58:48.280 --> 00:58:55.320
But like in three minutes, she just like brought the guy in and like soccer player and just

683
00:58:55.320 --> 00:58:59.040
that kind of guy that wants just to hook up, you know?

684
00:58:59.040 --> 00:59:00.040
Oh, okay.

685
00:59:00.040 --> 00:59:03.440
So they're like, okay, then don't complain.

686
00:59:03.440 --> 00:59:11.600
You know, like, um, so what do I do?

687
00:59:11.600 --> 00:59:13.920
Like, I want this to happen.

688
00:59:13.920 --> 00:59:15.800
So I'm off the apps again.

689
00:59:15.800 --> 00:59:17.680
A couple things.

690
00:59:17.680 --> 00:59:20.880
So okay, let me just make sure I'm landing on your question.

691
00:59:20.880 --> 00:59:21.880
Okay.

692
00:59:21.880 --> 00:59:27.240
Um, one, are you asking like, what, what do I do?

693
00:59:27.240 --> 00:59:29.680
Like if I'm not on apps, what do I do?

694
00:59:29.680 --> 00:59:30.680
Okay.

695
00:59:30.680 --> 00:59:35.960
So I returned to the apps and just be a grown woman and do it.

696
00:59:35.960 --> 00:59:36.960
Okay.

697
00:59:36.960 --> 00:59:37.960
Okay.

698
00:59:37.960 --> 00:59:38.960
That's good.

699
00:59:38.960 --> 00:59:39.960
All right.

700
00:59:39.960 --> 00:59:40.960
So a couple things.

701
00:59:40.960 --> 00:59:47.880
One thing that I absolutely love that you're doing is you, and ladies, I want to point

702
00:59:47.880 --> 00:59:54.360
this out, um, that I want to celebrate what she's doing really, really well.

703
00:59:54.360 --> 00:59:59.080
Like she's applying exactly what we just talked about today.

704
01:00:00.800 --> 01:00:05.440
stop the dating apps because after three weeks she noticed like she's getting heart palpitations,

705
01:00:05.440 --> 01:00:11.840
she's recognizing you know what she's coming across a lot of these guys are like you know

706
01:00:11.840 --> 01:00:18.560
they want women that are outdoorsy and will go hunting and and she's like whoa this is too much

707
01:00:18.560 --> 01:00:27.200
it's it's causing something inside of her so she took a pause okay but instead of just taking a

708
01:00:27.280 --> 01:00:36.960
pause did you all hear how she says I was reflecting why do I allow the frustration to shut

709
01:00:37.600 --> 01:00:47.600
down that's important so Luani I want you like I want you to continue to sit with that

710
01:00:48.640 --> 01:00:55.200
okay and again God might not give us all the answers right away but spend time in prayer

711
01:00:56.000 --> 01:01:02.400
okay go to him okay sometimes we have to go in prayer a couple times we have to you know be in

712
01:01:02.400 --> 01:01:10.720
the word a couple times and over time he'll reveal things to us of why that is okay like Jackie says

713
01:01:10.720 --> 01:01:17.200
in in heart work we don't want you ladies and going like taking the massive shovel and digging

714
01:01:18.160 --> 01:01:26.000
okay we want the soil to soften so it can just naturally come up okay so we want to

715
01:01:26.000 --> 01:01:34.000
see what surfaces so I want to what you're doing right now like that's that's what you're doing

716
01:01:34.640 --> 01:01:40.880
okay you put things on pause and that's great so this could be a season where God's saying okay

717
01:01:40.880 --> 01:01:46.880
I'm putting you on pause and I might not have you in a season of meeting a lot of people right now

718
01:01:46.880 --> 01:01:53.440
because I'm introducing you and then giving you an invitation to sit with me and discover something

719
01:01:53.440 --> 01:02:02.400
right now okay that doesn't mean that you have to stop engaging with people being social letting

720
01:02:02.400 --> 01:02:07.760
people know that you're single and want to meet people but I don't want you to get discouraged

721
01:02:07.760 --> 01:02:12.960
that when people introduce you to people this is another thing I want you to celebrate you

722
01:02:12.960 --> 01:02:18.960
recognized that this person that she brought in wasn't someone that was marriage-minded

723
01:02:21.120 --> 01:02:29.840
and and that was okay I think it's amazing that you were in an environment where you got to

724
01:02:30.880 --> 01:02:38.240
be in a community y'all had similar interest and you got to learn more about other people and they

725
01:02:38.240 --> 01:02:46.880
got to learn more about you and you got to share like yeah I'm I'm looking to to date people and I

726
01:02:46.880 --> 01:02:53.280
I don't seem I can't find anything I'm curious when you were talking with her um did she have

727
01:02:53.280 --> 01:03:05.200
an idea of what exactly that you were looking for did um yes but um I think these these are not

728
01:03:05.200 --> 01:03:13.760
Christian ladies that I know and um I've been single for four years so for them it's like girl

729
01:03:13.760 --> 01:03:20.880
how are you how are you living this way you know they're like you need to feel alive you need to

730
01:03:20.880 --> 01:03:28.480
feel that you know you're and that's what they would have done so they they didn't mean harm

731
01:03:28.480 --> 01:03:35.920
you know like it's yes it's what they would you're recognizing that and again I don't I don't see

732
01:03:35.920 --> 01:03:45.040
anything wrong with um building relationship with people that are not Christian I don't I mean I

733
01:03:45.040 --> 01:03:55.360
have several people in my communities that I engage in that are not Christian um I'm not like

734
01:03:55.360 --> 01:04:05.200
I know like some people like oh no no I for me it is why would I subject myself to just

735
01:04:06.080 --> 01:04:13.120
socializing with Christians because I can't share Jesus with people that might not have heard

736
01:04:13.120 --> 01:04:22.400
about Jesus if I'm not connecting with people okay now what I do have to be mindful of is

737
01:04:22.400 --> 01:04:32.880
those communities aren't where I open the doors of like inviting influence in

738
01:04:34.880 --> 01:04:42.400
you know those aren't the people that I go to when I'm needing wisdom or um guidance or counsel

739
01:04:43.120 --> 01:04:47.920
because they're not Christian so I know that they're not approaching things from a biblical

740
01:04:48.800 --> 01:04:55.200
standpoint it doesn't mean that I don't I that I value them less I just I know my boundaries

741
01:04:56.880 --> 01:04:59.760
I know you know I can have connection and

742
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:04.740
unity with them. I can have a relationship with them, but I also know how to protect

743
01:05:04.740 --> 01:05:13.180
my heart so that I'm not being influenced by something that could potentially cause

744
01:05:13.180 --> 01:05:23.180
hurt and damage in me because I'm human. And so I think what you do now is don't, don't

745
01:05:23.180 --> 01:05:31.260
not spend time with those people. If anything, like you just get to show up authentically

746
01:05:31.260 --> 01:05:42.140
who you are. So, and keep sharing what it is that you're looking for. And I would even

747
01:05:42.140 --> 01:05:47.500
say like, like you're in community here, if you're going somewhere public, there could

748
01:05:47.500 --> 01:05:52.300
be other people there that you don't know. How are you at engaging with people that you

749
01:05:52.300 --> 01:05:57.300
don't know? Like, are you comfortable going up to and just starting conversations with

750
01:05:57.300 --> 01:06:04.940
anybody? Yeah. Start there. I did that. I mean, I used to be a very guarded person,

751
01:06:04.940 --> 01:06:14.180
like really shy. As I got older, I learned how to just strike up conversation with strangers.

752
01:06:14.180 --> 01:06:23.060
And I imagine you can do the same thing. No, pretty much. Yeah, no, no. I'm very outgoing.

753
01:06:23.060 --> 01:06:29.860
And also like I moved to Tulsa like a year and so ago, so I've met hundreds of people

754
01:06:29.860 --> 01:06:40.580
here. It's just not that way, you know? Yeah. So yeah, I don't, I want, I want you to sit

755
01:06:40.580 --> 01:06:51.540
with, um, in this space of just embrace the growth that you, that you are experiencing

756
01:06:51.540 --> 01:07:02.420
right now, because I think God is doing something really incredible and, and focus on that there.

757
01:07:02.420 --> 01:07:08.860
And instead of looking at, Oh, I'm not like, I'm not getting introduced to certain people.

758
01:07:08.860 --> 01:07:13.300
I'm not getting introduced to a Christian circle. Just be like, okay, God, with what's

759
01:07:13.300 --> 01:07:19.260
going on in my life right now, what is it that you're showing me? What can I celebrate?

760
01:07:19.260 --> 01:07:26.780
What is it doing inside your heart? Because you, there's growth there. You, like I said,

761
01:07:26.780 --> 01:07:33.620
what I pointed out earlier, you recognize, what is it that, that frustrations causing

762
01:07:33.620 --> 01:07:40.420
you to shut down? What does God want to reveal there? What's God growing in you as far as

763
01:07:40.420 --> 01:07:46.220
your community and, and how you are socializing with people? How are, how is he wanting to

764
01:07:46.220 --> 01:07:56.900
strengthen you in community and develop who he's called you to be? How does he want to

765
01:07:56.900 --> 01:08:05.660
stretch you into growing your community and opening more doors and getting you out to

766
01:08:05.660 --> 01:08:12.900
maybe experience more people? I want you to be cautious of the thoughts that are surfacing.

767
01:08:12.900 --> 01:08:21.340
Okay. They're not wrong of this. All the men in Oklahoma, all they want. Do you see how you said

768
01:08:21.340 --> 01:08:31.540
all? Yes, I did. We want to be careful of that lady. And here's the thing. We do that. There's

769
01:08:31.540 --> 01:08:41.460
nothing wrong with that, but I want us to start practicing the awareness of when we do don't beat

770
01:08:41.460 --> 01:08:49.620
yourself up when you do it. Just say, Oh Lord, thank you for highlighting that to me. Now I

771
01:08:49.779 --> 01:08:57.220
get the opportunity to take that invitation and grow from it. Does that help? Yes. Okay. Yes. Thank

772
01:08:57.220 --> 01:09:02.700
you so much. You're welcome. Thank you for sharing. Okay. I have Laura, but then who did I

773
01:09:02.700 --> 01:09:09.540
miss? Somebody jumped off. Um, hopefully they put in, I think friend said something about,

774
01:09:09.540 --> 01:09:15.740
she had to leave her. Okay. Hopefully she put it in. She said, I have to go enjoy the rest of the

775
01:09:15.740 --> 01:09:22.020
session. Okay. Perfect. And I know I've got, she's got her profile thing that I've got to go, um,

776
01:09:22.060 --> 01:09:28.580
respond to. And she's, she's posted several times in the app. So, um, I know she'll probably put

777
01:09:28.580 --> 01:09:32.620
that in there, which is good. And then if she doesn't do that, then I know she might jump on the

778
01:09:32.620 --> 01:09:38.180
eight o'clock tonight too. So, okay. Good, good, good. All right. Laura, how are you?

779
01:09:38.819 --> 01:09:45.380
I'm doing good. Um, yeah, I just wanted to give an update. Um, yes, I went on like a three hour,

780
01:09:45.380 --> 01:09:53.020
whatever it was, date with Wade on Saturday. And, um, yeah, he had, um, told me earlier last

781
01:09:53.020 --> 01:09:59.500
week that he had romantic feelings for me. And so like, I still wasn't sure if like that was

782
01:09:59.500 --> 01:10:00.100
reciprocated.

783
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:03.560
did like on my end or whatever. So I wanted to go on like this,

784
01:10:03.960 --> 01:10:09.120
like another date just to like, kind of like feel things out and

785
01:10:09.120 --> 01:10:14.280
just like, but yeah. So at the end of that date, because on the

786
01:10:14.280 --> 01:10:17.160
previous like two dates, like he asked me for a hug, like at the

787
01:10:17.160 --> 01:10:23.040
end of each date, and after this one, like, he did not. And I, I

788
01:10:23.040 --> 01:10:26.480
didn't either, whatever. And so I left, but I noticed I was like,

789
01:10:26.640 --> 01:10:29.480
I didn't even miss it and whatever. And so like, I just

790
01:10:29.920 --> 01:10:33.880
realized that that yeah, like, I'm not on the same page as him

791
01:10:33.880 --> 01:10:36.640
and I don't want to like continue leading him on. And I

792
01:10:36.640 --> 01:10:40.800
was super stressed about it. Because we had like, because he

793
01:10:40.800 --> 01:10:43.840
is part of my Rotary Club. And we have like this party

794
01:10:43.840 --> 01:10:46.360
celebration for like our outgoing president last night.

795
01:10:46.360 --> 01:10:48.800
And so like, I was like, well, I need to like, definitely tell

796
01:10:48.800 --> 01:10:53.200
him like Sunday at the latest or whatever. Yeah. And so I spoke

797
01:10:53.200 --> 01:10:56.840
with like my preacher at church after worship on Sunday, just to

798
01:10:56.840 --> 01:10:59.040
like, kind of get his feedback, because I'd watched all these

799
01:10:59.040 --> 01:11:02.200
like, YouTube videos, like Sunday morning about like,

800
01:11:02.680 --> 01:11:05.640
having that conversation. And they all pretty much said pretty

801
01:11:05.640 --> 01:11:09.120
much what he said was just to like, to be honest with them.

802
01:11:09.160 --> 01:11:13.960
And yeah, and so like, my heart was pounding. So I like texted

803
01:11:13.960 --> 01:11:17.000
him like after I got home from church, and just asked if I

804
01:11:17.000 --> 01:11:21.200
could like call him sometime like that afternoon, and he responded

805
01:11:21.200 --> 01:11:24.520
like shortly and said, Yeah, that that would be great or

806
01:11:24.520 --> 01:11:28.320
whatever. And but I was still like super nervous, because he

807
01:11:28.320 --> 01:11:30.360
doesn't know like what the start.

808
01:11:31.640 --> 01:11:32.200
Yeah.

809
01:11:33.720 --> 01:11:34.960
And that's totally normal.

810
01:11:38.200 --> 01:11:40.280
Oh, you're freezing. I can't.

811
01:11:43.240 --> 01:11:46.120
Is anybody else not able to hear Laura?

812
01:11:46.120 --> 01:11:47.880
Hey, Laura, do me a favor.

813
01:11:48.680 --> 01:11:55.280
Yes, for me to okay, Laura, do me a favor. Sometimes you're

814
01:11:55.280 --> 01:12:00.760
cutting in and out. Remove, go ahead and go off camera. Because

815
01:12:00.760 --> 01:12:05.960
sometimes the camera will actually stall. And then we'll

816
01:12:05.960 --> 01:12:06.840
see if we can hear you.

817
01:12:08.480 --> 01:12:09.240
I can.

818
01:12:11.040 --> 01:12:12.120
Very little though.

819
01:12:12.120 --> 01:12:13.880
If I get closer, is that any better?

820
01:12:14.360 --> 01:12:16.040
Oh my gosh, way better now.

821
01:12:17.280 --> 01:12:22.800
Okay. So anyhow, so like, okay, so yeah, so I started the

822
01:12:22.800 --> 01:12:26.120
conversation. I just told them that like, yeah, I had a great

823
01:12:26.120 --> 01:12:28.600
time on our date. And I just really appreciate getting to

824
01:12:28.600 --> 01:12:33.160
know him or whatever. But and then I just kind of referenced

825
01:12:33.160 --> 01:12:36.480
back to like him telling me how he like had romantic

826
01:12:36.480 --> 01:12:39.760
relationships. And I was like, Oh, that's so sweet. And I was

827
01:12:40.240 --> 01:12:43.360
telling me how he like had romantic feelings for me. And I

828
01:12:43.360 --> 01:12:49.440
just told him that. That yeah, like, like I had been thinking

829
01:12:49.440 --> 01:12:52.600
about that, like over the past, like, previous days, and I

830
01:12:52.600 --> 01:12:56.400
wanted to go on like our date just to like, just to kind of

831
01:12:56.400 --> 01:13:02.120
like, tell one way or another, like what. And then I told him

832
01:13:02.120 --> 01:13:04.520
that I did not have romantic feelings for him. And he was

833
01:13:04.520 --> 01:13:08.440
very understanding. He was very like compassionate. And so like

834
01:13:08.440 --> 01:13:11.720
it made me feel like, even though like he did say that,

835
01:13:11.720 --> 01:13:15.400
like, it's done, like initially or whatever. Because like, he

836
01:13:15.400 --> 01:13:19.000
wasn't wanting to hear something like that or whatever. But he

837
01:13:19.000 --> 01:13:22.640
was very appreciative that I was honest with them. And yeah, I

838
01:13:22.640 --> 01:13:24.960
told him that that was very important to me. I didn't want

839
01:13:24.960 --> 01:13:29.640
to like just string him along. And yeah, and so and then I also

840
01:13:29.640 --> 01:13:32.720
said to I was like, Well, I don't know if this is something

841
01:13:32.720 --> 01:13:36.160
that you're open to. But like, I would appreciate if we could at

842
01:13:36.160 --> 01:13:39.280
least have like, kind of like common courtesy or like, even

843
01:13:39.280 --> 01:13:43.000
like, remain like friends being that like, we are a part of the

844
01:13:43.000 --> 01:13:45.640
same Rotary Club. And we are still gonna like see each other

845
01:13:45.640 --> 01:13:49.160
at like events and like functions and meetings and

846
01:13:49.160 --> 01:13:51.800
whatever. And he said, yeah, that that was he was like

847
01:13:51.800 --> 01:13:54.600
totally on the same page. And he even said that, like, from like

848
01:13:54.600 --> 01:13:57.720
previous relationships that he's had, like, he's never had, like

849
01:13:57.720 --> 01:14:01.000
any animosity towards like anybody. And it was super sweet.

850
01:14:01.000 --> 01:14:04.120
Like it, it kind of like made me feel bad, though. Because he's

851
01:14:04.120 --> 01:14:07.280
like, that I will always have like a special, like place in

852
01:14:07.280 --> 01:14:10.560
his heart or whatever. And I was like, I don't know, I just

853
01:14:10.560 --> 01:14:13.920
thought it was. But I was glad that the conversation went well.

854
01:14:13.920 --> 01:14:17.560
And I was able to, to let him know. And then on another note,

855
01:14:17.840 --> 01:14:24.040
I am also a part of the Modern Dating Sex Book Club, the

856
01:14:24.040 --> 01:14:26.800
session that started or the group that started last week or

857
01:14:26.800 --> 01:14:30.000
whatever. And when Jackie was having us post like what city

858
01:14:30.000 --> 01:14:33.840
and state we're in, there was a guy who's actually in my same

859
01:14:34.200 --> 01:14:37.560
city or whatever. And initially, I thought because I'm in the

860
01:14:37.560 --> 01:14:40.480
Northern California Brentwood, and he posted Brentwood and a

861
01:14:40.480 --> 01:14:43.240
lot of people like live in the Southern California Brentwood.

862
01:14:43.240 --> 01:14:45.600
So I commented. And I was like, Oh, are you in Southern

863
01:14:45.600 --> 01:14:48.400
California? And he's like, No. And he commented that he like

864
01:14:48.400 --> 01:14:51.000
it's just like, on the street, like around the corner from my

865
01:14:51.000 --> 01:14:53.840
house or whatever. So he and I were actually going on a walk

866
01:14:53.840 --> 01:14:57.960
this afternoon. Because like, after that, I was like, well,

867
01:14:57.960 --> 01:14:59.400
should I reach out to him and like,

868
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:02.600
like friend request him on Facebook. And I was like, what

869
01:15:02.600 --> 01:15:05.640
the heck, like, the worst he can say is like, no, or whatever.

870
01:15:05.640 --> 01:15:09.480
And, and he did accept. And, and then it was so funny, because

871
01:15:09.480 --> 01:15:13.560
so I did that last Monday night. And then Tuesday afternoon, I

872
01:15:13.560 --> 01:15:18.520
met with a girlfriend. And once this guy, his name is john, he

873
01:15:18.840 --> 01:15:21.080
accepted my friend request, I noticed that my girlfriend that

874
01:15:21.080 --> 01:15:23.920
I got together with last Tuesday, she's also friends with

875
01:15:23.920 --> 01:15:27.000
him on Facebook or whatever. And so I was talking to her about

876
01:15:27.000 --> 01:15:29.040
it. I mean, she's like, Oh, yeah, I've met him in person.

877
01:15:29.040 --> 01:15:32.560
Like, he like goes to like dancing events in town. And he

878
01:15:32.560 --> 01:15:34.920
has friends in a band or whatever it is. I don't know.

879
01:15:34.920 --> 01:15:38.520
So I'm looking forward to meeting him in person.

880
01:15:39.520 --> 01:15:44.680
I love that. This is oh, that's exciting. I love it. I love it.

881
01:15:44.680 --> 01:15:50.680
I love it. Awesome. So um, I you given a lot. I love this update

882
01:15:50.680 --> 01:15:54.600
because I think there is definitely a lot of stuff that

883
01:15:54.600 --> 01:16:01.680
is going to help not just you but the women on this call that

884
01:16:01.680 --> 01:16:05.560
we can definitely pull from I think it's it's I think is

885
01:16:05.560 --> 01:16:16.200
exciting. One I I love that you stretched yourself. And you did

886
01:16:16.200 --> 01:16:22.920
something uncomfortable. And you saw it through. And it gave you

887
01:16:22.920 --> 01:16:29.800
and the outcome wasn't wasn't terrible. Right? Like, well,

888
01:16:29.800 --> 01:16:32.240
yeah, cuz on the other hand, like I really questioned

889
01:16:32.240 --> 01:16:36.840
because like, Wade, he is like a Christian. And he like he has a

890
01:16:36.840 --> 01:16:41.720
lot of like, same interests. And like, he's a dog person and a

891
01:16:41.720 --> 01:16:45.440
pet person or whatever. And like, we're like, I don't know, it

892
01:16:45.440 --> 01:16:48.640
just seemed like we had a lot of things like aligned or whatever.

893
01:16:48.640 --> 01:16:50.880
And so like, that's why like, I questioned things for like a

894
01:16:50.880 --> 01:16:53.440
really long time. I'm like, yeah. But I was like, on the

895
01:16:53.440 --> 01:16:56.240
other hand, I was like, I couldn't like stay with someone.

896
01:16:56.680 --> 01:16:59.640
Like, if I didn't have like, my feelings were reciprocated for

897
01:16:59.640 --> 01:17:01.600
this person, whatever. I was like, it wouldn't be fair to

898
01:17:01.600 --> 01:17:04.640
him. And then like, you Yeah, eventually, I don't want to cut

899
01:17:04.640 --> 01:17:10.200
you off. Go ahead. No, go ahead. Um, I love that you were allowed

900
01:17:10.200 --> 01:17:13.520
like you allowed yourself time to gather information because I

901
01:17:13.520 --> 01:17:17.600
think in the last several weeks, like you had been teeter

902
01:17:17.600 --> 01:17:23.600
tottering. And you you stuck with some of the discomfort,

903
01:17:23.840 --> 01:17:28.200
which is what we ask you ladies, we encourage you ladies to do

904
01:17:29.720 --> 01:17:33.720
that, let's slow it down. And let's really sit and process

905
01:17:33.720 --> 01:17:37.920
like what's happening, so that you are gathering information so

906
01:17:37.920 --> 01:17:42.520
that you can make a decision. And you can see what God is

907
01:17:42.640 --> 01:17:48.320
wanting to reveal. And so I love there's so many different things

908
01:17:48.320 --> 01:17:51.320
that we can talk about. And so I mean, I've got 10 minutes here.

909
01:17:51.320 --> 01:17:53.680
So we're gonna and I don't know if anybody else has any more

910
01:17:53.680 --> 01:17:57.600
questions. I am going to look through the chat here to see if

911
01:17:57.600 --> 01:17:58.680
Fran left her question.

912
01:17:58.720 --> 01:18:03.400
And then just a funny tidbit is that I actually gave Wade a copy

913
01:18:03.440 --> 01:18:07.240
of the modern dating sucks book or whatever. And because I like

914
01:18:07.240 --> 01:18:10.560
had ordered like three copies, like for like some friends or

915
01:18:10.560 --> 01:18:12.920
whatever. And I'm like, well, what the heck, I'll give him

916
01:18:12.920 --> 01:18:15.560
one. And because I had already told him that I'm part of like

917
01:18:15.560 --> 01:18:18.680
this program. And I told him like, that Jackie's like an

918
01:18:18.680 --> 01:18:21.240
amazing author and whatever. And so we did have a brief

919
01:18:21.240 --> 01:18:23.800
conversation because he started reading some of it or whatever.

920
01:18:23.800 --> 01:18:24.240
And so we had

921
01:18:24.240 --> 01:18:29.200
I love that. And I'm so glad you mentioned that, because that I

922
01:18:29.200 --> 01:18:33.440
wrote that down to that I was going to mention to all you

923
01:18:33.440 --> 01:18:38.120
ladies, and I'm so thankful that you took that opportunity,

924
01:18:38.280 --> 01:18:46.440
ladies, it is so important that when you ladies date a guy that

925
01:18:46.440 --> 01:18:50.240
might not be your guy, but that's a great guy. You know,

926
01:18:50.240 --> 01:18:57.120
do some to this community. Let's not hold them back. I know so

927
01:18:57.120 --> 01:19:00.080
many ladies come here. They're like, how do we meet men in the

928
01:19:00.080 --> 01:19:03.200
community? All right, I

929
01:19:03.240 --> 01:19:07.800
will get a lot of like, I saw Wade last night at our like

930
01:19:07.800 --> 01:19:10.720
celebration. And I like had hope to like have a conversation

931
01:19:10.720 --> 01:19:14.200
with him. And just like, just to like, let him know how much I

932
01:19:14.200 --> 01:19:19.760
appreciated him. Like being such a sweet and caring man that like,

933
01:19:20.200 --> 01:19:23.960
was the first person that like, I actually like dated since my

934
01:19:23.960 --> 01:19:27.280
divorce, because he actually said that, technically, I was as

935
01:19:27.280 --> 01:19:29.800
well, because he got divorced about eight years ago as well.

936
01:19:30.600 --> 01:19:34.840
But, and how it like, just gave me hope that there are still

937
01:19:34.840 --> 01:19:39.120
nice, kind men out there. So I love that. And so and that was

938
01:19:39.160 --> 01:19:43.560
that's even a little bit of my story, too, is, you know, I got

939
01:19:43.560 --> 01:19:48.680
to date a lot of guys that were just really great guys. And, you

940
01:19:48.680 --> 01:19:50.880
know, at first, it would be discouraging when I was like,

941
01:19:50.880 --> 01:19:54.040
this is not my guy. But I learned to look at it through a

942
01:19:54.040 --> 01:19:57.280
different lens of, I don't have to be discouraged. If anything,

943
01:19:57.280 --> 01:20:00.040
this is this can be used to give me hope that

944
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:03.440
that there are really good men out there.

945
01:20:03.440 --> 01:20:06.000
So I love that you had that opportunity.

946
01:20:06.000 --> 01:20:07.960
I love that you were,

947
01:20:07.960 --> 01:20:10.960
that you've shared this community with him.

948
01:20:10.960 --> 01:20:12.540
Cause ladies, again, like I said,

949
01:20:12.540 --> 01:20:17.540
so many of the women will come into our community

950
01:20:17.740 --> 01:20:19.800
and they want to meet men.

951
01:20:19.800 --> 01:20:21.440
And you know, I was like that too.

952
01:20:21.440 --> 01:20:23.380
When Jackie said she was, you know,

953
01:20:23.380 --> 01:20:25.160
I joined when it was just women

954
01:20:25.160 --> 01:20:27.880
and then she invited men and it became a men thing.

955
01:20:27.880 --> 01:20:29.900
And I mean, we all got excited.

956
01:20:29.900 --> 01:20:32.360
Yes, there's going to be men here, you know?

957
01:20:32.360 --> 01:20:34.660
And yeah, in a perfect world,

958
01:20:34.660 --> 01:20:35.500
we would be like,

959
01:20:35.500 --> 01:20:38.180
it would be so nice to find a man in this community

960
01:20:38.180 --> 01:20:40.340
that kind of already has some of the foundation,

961
01:20:40.340 --> 01:20:41.820
the background knowledge.

962
01:20:41.820 --> 01:20:45.560
And we have had success stories

963
01:20:45.560 --> 01:20:48.380
of people meeting from this community.

964
01:20:48.380 --> 01:20:52.240
I would love to tell you that always happens,

965
01:20:52.240 --> 01:20:54.660
but I'm going to be realistic and say, ladies,

966
01:20:54.660 --> 01:20:57.420
that doesn't always happen because, you know,

967
01:20:57.420 --> 01:20:59.820
there are a lot of men out there

968
01:21:00.540 --> 01:21:01.380
that aren't coming to this community.

969
01:21:01.380 --> 01:21:02.200
And you want to know why?

970
01:21:02.200 --> 01:21:04.860
Because we're not inviting them in here.

971
01:21:04.860 --> 01:21:08.460
So if you ladies are hoping

972
01:21:08.460 --> 01:21:12.300
that you're going to find your husband in this community,

973
01:21:12.300 --> 01:21:14.540
I'm going to help encourage you ladies

974
01:21:14.540 --> 01:21:16.620
to help make that happen

975
01:21:16.620 --> 01:21:21.260
by inviting the good men that are not your husbands

976
01:21:21.260 --> 01:21:23.180
into this community.

977
01:21:23.180 --> 01:21:28.180
Let's start bringing more men in this community.

978
01:21:28.420 --> 01:21:31.140
Because the reality is we have a lot more women here

979
01:21:31.140 --> 01:21:34.220
than we do men, okay?

980
01:21:34.220 --> 01:21:37.020
And so it's going to take us women

981
01:21:37.020 --> 01:21:39.300
stepping out of our comfort zone

982
01:21:40.140 --> 01:21:42.220
and inviting the really great men and saying,

983
01:21:42.220 --> 01:21:47.020
hey, we didn't work out, but you're a really great guy.

984
01:21:47.020 --> 01:21:48.140
And there was so many things

985
01:21:48.140 --> 01:21:50.460
that I really appreciate about you.

986
01:21:50.460 --> 01:21:53.220
And if you are interested in looking for someone

987
01:21:53.220 --> 01:21:56.780
who wants a relationship

988
01:21:56.780 --> 01:22:01.420
and is a woman who loves God,

989
01:22:01.420 --> 01:22:04.900
let me introduce this community to you.

990
01:22:04.900 --> 01:22:07.460
You might meet your person in there.

991
01:22:07.460 --> 01:22:09.620
You might learn something.

992
01:22:09.620 --> 01:22:12.540
It can just be another resource for you

993
01:22:12.540 --> 01:22:14.440
if you're open to dating.

994
01:22:14.440 --> 01:22:17.540
Like introduce them, okay?

995
01:22:18.540 --> 01:22:22.620
And before we move on and I go look in the chat here,

996
01:22:22.620 --> 01:22:23.980
Laura, there's a couple of things

997
01:22:23.980 --> 01:22:28.980
that I don't want you to miss from this opportunity, okay?

998
01:22:29.500 --> 01:22:32.540
I think you've gained a lot of wisdom.

999
01:22:32.540 --> 01:22:34.340
I think you've gained a lot of growth.

1000
01:22:34.340 --> 01:22:36.660
I think there's a lot of things that you can celebrate.

1001
01:22:36.660 --> 01:22:41.660
And so I want to capitalize on that.

1002
01:22:44.140 --> 01:22:47.540
I love that Wade brought up

1003
01:22:47.540 --> 01:22:49.980
that he has romantic feelings for you.

1004
01:22:49.980 --> 01:22:53.900
He didn't feel that those were reciprocated.

1005
01:22:54.820 --> 01:22:59.620
And so I'm curious if you have been able to spend some time

1006
01:22:59.620 --> 01:23:02.980
to see what was surfacing in you

1007
01:23:02.980 --> 01:23:07.980
as far as what was happening deeper in you.

1008
01:23:08.780 --> 01:23:10.180
Because you said this is the first time

1009
01:23:10.180 --> 01:23:12.940
that you've really dated since your divorce.

1010
01:23:12.940 --> 01:23:17.140
So is there anything that God could be inviting you into

1011
01:23:17.140 --> 01:23:22.140
that he wants to reveal to you through this experience

1012
01:23:22.500 --> 01:23:24.260
and through this opportunity

1013
01:23:24.260 --> 01:23:28.900
that he wants to reveal to you?

1014
01:23:30.140 --> 01:23:32.620
You know, you expressed that there was some stress.

1015
01:23:32.620 --> 01:23:34.480
There was definitely some anxiety.

1016
01:23:34.480 --> 01:23:39.040
There was, I want you to dig a little, not dig, dig, dig,

1017
01:23:39.040 --> 01:23:41.220
but just spend time with the Holy Spirit

1018
01:23:41.220 --> 01:23:43.820
and ask him if there's anything there

1019
01:23:43.820 --> 01:23:45.860
that might need to be revealed.

1020
01:23:45.860 --> 01:23:49.580
You know, go into prayer with those conversations.

1021
01:23:49.580 --> 01:23:52.300
It was teach me, show me, heal me, grow me.

1022
01:23:52.300 --> 01:23:53.580
I'm sorry, what was that?

1023
01:23:55.980 --> 01:24:00.980
I was actually like, it didn't come up for me or whatever,

1024
01:24:01.260 --> 01:24:05.100
whether that I had been like kind of protecting my heart

1025
01:24:06.340 --> 01:24:08.260
because that had been like,

1026
01:24:10.260 --> 01:24:13.100
then that like stopped me from dating for a very long time

1027
01:24:13.100 --> 01:24:15.060
was the fear of getting hurt again.

1028
01:24:15.060 --> 01:24:19.220
And so like, I was like, well, am I like,

1029
01:24:19.860 --> 01:24:20.700
am I going to push him away?

1030
01:24:20.700 --> 01:24:25.660
Because even though he showed like no black at all,

1031
01:24:25.660 --> 01:24:28.140
like the past two months or whatever.

1032
01:24:28.140 --> 01:24:28.980
Yeah.

1033
01:24:28.980 --> 01:24:32.060
So, so yeah, that's another thing.

1034
01:24:34.500 --> 01:24:37.820
I think what's really powerful

1035
01:24:37.820 --> 01:24:40.560
and what I want all you ladies to hear,

1036
01:24:42.740 --> 01:24:44.380
cause I think this is important

1037
01:24:45.300 --> 01:24:47.380
and just having been in this community

1038
01:24:47.380 --> 01:24:48.740
for as many years as I have,

1039
01:24:49.180 --> 01:24:51.100
having walked it through myself

1040
01:24:51.100 --> 01:24:54.460
and then just have having coached for several years

1041
01:24:54.460 --> 01:24:59.300
is one thing that I knew I struggled with.

1042
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:06.800
That I had to get an unpack and process through and what I see other women having to do as well is

1043
01:25:07.320 --> 01:25:09.120
that I

1044
01:25:09.120 --> 01:25:14.640
don't want you ladies to get discouraged when you're in these dating situations and

1045
01:25:16.120 --> 01:25:23.520
Their struggle there's there's internal struggle. There are some hard things that are coming up. There are some things that are getting revealed

1046
01:25:23.520 --> 01:25:26.480
I don't want you to just get discouraged by that

1047
01:25:27.360 --> 01:25:29.360
I would love to tell you that

1048
01:25:30.400 --> 01:25:32.400
You're never gonna get discouraged

1049
01:25:33.400 --> 01:25:40.400
But I will be transparent with you. There will be times that you'll get discouraged and know that if you do it's okay

1050
01:25:41.320 --> 01:25:47.840
It is normal to feel discouraged. It's normal to get anxious. It's normal to get frustrated

1051
01:25:47.840 --> 01:25:52.000
It's not like these are normal things that are surf like that will surface

1052
01:25:52.160 --> 01:25:56.480
I don't want you ladies to push those feelings down

1053
01:25:56.480 --> 01:26:02.400
I want you to feel those feels because those feels will

1054
01:26:03.200 --> 01:26:08.440
Are surfacing so something can get revealed and it's not always

1055
01:26:09.080 --> 01:26:16.740
Gonna get resolved or we are not gonna see the the clarity and the the certainty in the bigger picture right away

1056
01:26:17.320 --> 01:26:19.320
over time though

1057
01:26:19.920 --> 01:26:26.440
God will use each one of these circumstances in each one of these situations to

1058
01:26:27.600 --> 01:26:30.080
Walk you through that transformation process

1059
01:26:30.520 --> 01:26:37.360
Show you the healing that you have done. And so I want Laura you to celebrate

1060
01:26:38.320 --> 01:26:42.360
Where you were before and now where you are at now

1061
01:26:43.480 --> 01:26:45.480
embrace that and

1062
01:26:46.480 --> 01:26:52.240
Say okay, there was some struggle here, but I got through it. So the next time

1063
01:26:52.960 --> 01:26:57.840
You're dating or something comes up or something uncertain comes up or these feelings come up

1064
01:26:58.480 --> 01:27:00.480
you have

1065
01:27:00.800 --> 01:27:02.600
more

1066
01:27:02.600 --> 01:27:06.200
Knowledge and you have more experience that you can say. Nope

1067
01:27:06.200 --> 01:27:13.880
I experienced this before and God had me I can get through this again, and it's just teaching you to recognize

1068
01:27:14.840 --> 01:27:22.880
The lies and the beliefs that have got gotten planted and rooted somewhere and we get to start softening that soil

1069
01:27:23.040 --> 01:27:29.680
So those roots get to come up and we get to gently remove them and replace those

1070
01:27:30.160 --> 01:27:36.560
Okay, so want you ladies to just remember don't get discouraged by this stuff

1071
01:27:37.360 --> 01:27:40.120
Okay, like I said, I would love to tell you

1072
01:27:40.920 --> 01:27:47.760
That the first person that you date and it's you know that you're not going to experience it but the reality is that you will and

1073
01:27:48.440 --> 01:27:50.280
It's normal

1074
01:27:50.280 --> 01:27:53.160
you have this community that's here to support you and

1075
01:27:55.120 --> 01:27:56.800
We got you

1076
01:27:56.800 --> 01:27:59.320
okay, and that's all part of the process and so

1077
01:28:00.200 --> 01:28:07.200
when we invite Holy Spirit to come and work in our hearts and to transform us and we

1078
01:28:07.640 --> 01:28:14.160
We sit with that prayer that teach me show me heal me grow me and we start asking different questions

1079
01:28:15.800 --> 01:28:18.240
Then God will start

1080
01:28:18.880 --> 01:28:26.120
Revealing more to us and then you'll be surprised like then the acceleration happens. Like that's why we call this phase love story accelerator

1081
01:28:27.200 --> 01:28:30.000
Because when we start practicing these principles

1082
01:28:30.720 --> 01:28:33.800
You will be surprised at the acceleration the breakthrough that happens

1083
01:28:34.080 --> 01:28:37.600
Okay phase one you ladies learn the principles

1084
01:28:37.920 --> 01:28:45.480
Okay, we take you through that process and then even in this phase those videos will teach you some of those those principles

1085
01:28:45.600 --> 01:28:50.120
But here in phase two on these live calls and in our coaching on the app

1086
01:28:50.880 --> 01:28:53.440
We're here to show you how to live out

1087
01:28:54.400 --> 01:29:02.040
These principles and what it looks like every day to apply those principles that we've learned in phase one and that

1088
01:29:02.200 --> 01:29:04.400
We're learning in the videos here in phase two

1089
01:29:05.240 --> 01:29:07.960
Okay. All right. I'm gonna quickly go through

1090
01:29:09.720 --> 01:29:11.720
To see if Fran

1091
01:29:12.920 --> 01:29:19.520
Posted her question. I think she might have oh she did. How do we know when it's passivity?

1092
01:29:20.160 --> 01:29:22.240
versus releasing control

1093
01:29:22.240 --> 01:29:28.280
I noticed that sometimes when I see what I see as releasing control to God

1094
01:29:28.880 --> 01:29:30.880
some people see as

1095
01:29:31.320 --> 01:29:32.920
Passivity

1096
01:29:32.920 --> 01:29:34.200
Okay

1097
01:29:34.200 --> 01:29:38.360
that one I might need a little bit more detail as

1098
01:29:39.800 --> 01:29:44.000
To wanting to know what she's experiencing. So Fran I'm gonna probably

1099
01:29:44.960 --> 01:29:47.760
Come to you in one of your post

1100
01:29:48.800 --> 01:29:53.840
and ask you to give me a little bit more insight as to give me an example of

1101
01:29:55.800 --> 01:29:59.880
What you would release control over and and how

1102
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:01.640
people would see that as passive.

1103
01:30:04.280 --> 01:30:06.060
And what you're experiencing there.

1104
01:30:06.060 --> 01:30:07.480
I wanna break that down for you

1105
01:30:07.480 --> 01:30:09.520
and unpack that with you more.

1106
01:30:09.520 --> 01:30:11.500
And I apologize that we didn't get to you

1107
01:30:11.500 --> 01:30:12.960
before you had to jump off,

1108
01:30:12.960 --> 01:30:15.660
but we will definitely make that space for you

1109
01:30:15.660 --> 01:30:19.080
in the app to get to that question.

1110
01:30:23.560 --> 01:30:24.880
Okay, so Kristen, you're saying

1111
01:30:24.880 --> 01:30:26.640
you could ask that same question.

1112
01:30:26.640 --> 01:30:28.320
Can you give me an example of that?

1113
01:30:28.320 --> 01:30:29.760
Is Kristen still on here?

1114
01:30:30.800 --> 01:30:32.160
Are you able to unmute?

1115
01:30:34.960 --> 01:30:37.220
I got like two or three minutes.

1116
01:30:39.360 --> 01:30:41.960
If not, then look for that.

1117
01:30:41.960 --> 01:30:43.520
Oh, I see you're unmuted, okay.

1118
01:30:48.440 --> 01:30:49.480
I can't hear you.

1119
01:30:54.840 --> 01:30:55.800
Can you hear me now?

1120
01:30:55.800 --> 01:30:57.320
Yes, I can hear you.

1121
01:30:57.320 --> 01:30:59.000
My son robbed me last year

1122
01:30:59.040 --> 01:31:02.480
and I have never gotten any of the stuff back.

1123
01:31:02.480 --> 01:31:04.520
His friend took it all and did that.

1124
01:31:04.520 --> 01:31:07.320
And I've kind of let God handle it,

1125
01:31:07.320 --> 01:31:11.080
but we found out it's a different pawn shop

1126
01:31:11.080 --> 01:31:12.800
that he took it to.

1127
01:31:12.800 --> 01:31:14.760
The details he'd given the police were not right.

1128
01:31:14.760 --> 01:31:16.320
And it's been an entire year.

1129
01:31:16.320 --> 01:31:18.720
And I'm not sure if just trusting God

1130
01:31:18.720 --> 01:31:20.400
to handle everything is the right thing

1131
01:31:20.400 --> 01:31:21.480
or if I'm supposed to be,

1132
01:31:21.480 --> 01:31:23.840
or if that's just being passive

1133
01:31:23.840 --> 01:31:28.480
instead of nagging the police officer to go look into it.

1134
01:31:29.440 --> 01:31:31.360
Okay, yeah, so I can see how that is.

1135
01:31:31.360 --> 01:31:36.360
So that one, again, gosh, I'm so sorry that happened to you.

1136
01:31:41.640 --> 01:31:43.120
That's just heartbreaking.

1137
01:31:44.400 --> 01:31:47.200
And I think you shared with us before in the app.

1138
01:31:47.200 --> 01:31:48.200
I don't-

1139
01:31:48.200 --> 01:31:49.440
Yeah, there's so many other details.

1140
01:31:49.440 --> 01:31:50.280
It's so, so-

1141
01:31:50.280 --> 01:31:52.240
Yeah, and I think, and this was like a couple months ago,

1142
01:31:52.240 --> 01:31:55.720
you joined phase two and you introduced yourself to us.

1143
01:31:55.760 --> 01:31:57.920
Because I see that beautiful little baby.

1144
01:31:57.920 --> 01:31:59.600
Yep, my granddaughter.

1145
01:31:59.600 --> 01:32:01.520
Yes, she's so adorable.

1146
01:32:03.560 --> 01:32:08.560
I think, you know, that to me is, it's about boundaries.

1147
01:32:08.800 --> 01:32:11.680
That like, when I'm looking at that,

1148
01:32:11.680 --> 01:32:14.240
the releasing control and that being passive,

1149
01:32:14.240 --> 01:32:18.120
to me, this is not about releasing control

1150
01:32:18.120 --> 01:32:22.080
and being passive as more as what's coming up for me

1151
01:32:22.080 --> 01:32:24.600
is this has to do more about boundaries

1152
01:32:24.600 --> 01:32:27.120
because that relationship of, you know,

1153
01:32:27.120 --> 01:32:32.120
a mother and a son, boundaries were 100% crossed.

1154
01:32:32.160 --> 01:32:35.000
But it's more of, do I keep nagging the police officer

1155
01:32:35.000 --> 01:32:37.640
or do I let it go?

1156
01:32:37.640 --> 01:32:40.640
I think, you know-

1157
01:32:40.640 --> 01:32:42.920
Trust God to restore everything that was stolen

1158
01:32:42.920 --> 01:32:44.680
or do I keep nagging the police officer

1159
01:32:44.680 --> 01:32:47.320
to go back for all the times that,

1160
01:32:47.320 --> 01:32:48.160
and the duty-

1161
01:32:48.160 --> 01:32:52.160
I think, okay, do the police have

1162
01:32:52.160 --> 01:32:54.240
all the information that you have?

1163
01:32:54.880 --> 01:32:56.280
I don't know because I've left it,

1164
01:32:56.280 --> 01:32:58.440
but they haven't ever answered me.

1165
01:32:58.440 --> 01:33:00.680
Okay, I think it would be okay to,

1166
01:33:00.680 --> 01:33:03.720
I mean, you're not nagging them.

1167
01:33:03.720 --> 01:33:05.160
Nagging to me would be like,

1168
01:33:05.160 --> 01:33:07.480
you're constantly reaching out to them,

1169
01:33:07.480 --> 01:33:09.000
like day after day after day.

1170
01:33:09.000 --> 01:33:11.120
I have left a lot of messages, but-

1171
01:33:11.120 --> 01:33:14.360
Okay, so you're calling them and leaving messages

1172
01:33:14.360 --> 01:33:16.120
and they're not responding to you.

1173
01:33:16.120 --> 01:33:18.520
They have, I mean, I've only left,

1174
01:33:18.520 --> 01:33:21.520
I've called once and I've emailed once

1175
01:33:21.520 --> 01:33:23.960
since I got this information,

1176
01:33:24.640 --> 01:33:26.120
but I've called them probably 20, 30 times

1177
01:33:26.120 --> 01:33:28.600
in the year that it's gone.

1178
01:33:28.600 --> 01:33:33.000
Okay, and what do they say to you?

1179
01:33:33.000 --> 01:33:35.720
Like, how do they say that they're handling it?

1180
01:33:35.720 --> 01:33:36.560
I mean, do they say-

1181
01:33:36.560 --> 01:33:40.880
Well, that the state attorneys don't wanna do anything.

1182
01:33:40.880 --> 01:33:43.000
Yeah, I think that's kind of,

1183
01:33:44.400 --> 01:33:46.680
that will be your answer.

1184
01:33:46.680 --> 01:33:47.520
That's-

1185
01:33:47.520 --> 01:33:49.200
But do I go back for the pawn shop stuff

1186
01:33:49.200 --> 01:33:52.320
that's happened over a year ago now and stuff?

1187
01:33:52.360 --> 01:33:55.400
So I don't, that's where you're just going.

1188
01:33:55.400 --> 01:33:58.240
I mean, I think this is where we practice,

1189
01:33:58.240 --> 01:34:00.640
this is where you get to spend time with,

1190
01:34:02.040 --> 01:34:05.600
is this wanting, are you wanting an answer

1191
01:34:05.600 --> 01:34:08.200
of what do I do and you want it for the certainty?

1192
01:34:09.040 --> 01:34:11.200
Well, I wanna know if that stuff is there,

1193
01:34:11.200 --> 01:34:14.080
but at the same time, I don't really wanna deal with it

1194
01:34:14.080 --> 01:34:16.160
because I don't, I just wanna trust God.

1195
01:34:16.160 --> 01:34:17.160
I don't wanna deal with it,

1196
01:34:17.160 --> 01:34:19.600
but do I have to go keep asking?

1197
01:34:19.600 --> 01:34:24.600
So I would encourage you to spend some more time

1198
01:34:24.880 --> 01:34:29.880
with the Lord with what is deep in your heart there

1199
01:34:32.720 --> 01:34:33.840
because I hear two things.

1200
01:34:33.840 --> 01:34:38.840
I hear, I want this, but I also don't want this.

1201
01:34:40.840 --> 01:34:42.760
And those two things are conflicting.

1202
01:34:42.760 --> 01:34:46.200
And so I would want you to spend time in prayer

1203
01:34:46.200 --> 01:34:51.200
and ask the Lord, getting to the root

1204
01:34:51.760 --> 01:34:53.880
of what is it that you're trying to resolve?

1205
01:34:53.880 --> 01:34:55.640
Like, where's the belief?

1206
01:34:55.640 --> 01:34:59.920
Like, what's the feeling and the emotions of what happened?

1207
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:03.320
Because if you recover that stuff, then what does that mean?

1208
01:35:04.480 --> 01:35:09.360
Well, not even as much that as if we go after that dude, he's now well,

1209
01:35:09.360 --> 01:35:11.880
he's arrested now, but he's arrested for attempted murder.

1210
01:35:12.120 --> 01:35:15.600
And it's like, do I want that whole gang stuff back in or do you just let it all go?

1211
01:35:15.840 --> 01:35:18.240
So, yeah, it was all my precious metals.

1212
01:35:18.240 --> 01:35:21.160
So he took a lot. But I'm so sorry.

1213
01:35:23.720 --> 01:35:26.560
Yeah, I think one thing that I

1214
01:35:27.280 --> 01:35:32.320
I've used in my past is when I have this, do I do this or do I do that?

1215
01:35:35.320 --> 01:35:38.000
What's worked for me?

1216
01:35:38.000 --> 01:35:40.600
Is I don't make a decision.

1217
01:35:41.560 --> 01:35:45.680
I just stay like I like be still.

1218
01:35:47.000 --> 01:35:50.320
I hold that scripture, be still and know that I'm God.

1219
01:35:52.560 --> 01:35:55.960
And, you know, just continue to go and seek him in prayer.

1220
01:35:57.560 --> 01:35:59.880
Continue to ask him,

1221
01:35:59.880 --> 01:36:03.040
you know, reveal the deeper roots,

1222
01:36:03.640 --> 01:36:06.040
the deeper wounds that that caused.

1223
01:36:09.320 --> 01:36:13.160
Because that's I think that is where my concern would be.

1224
01:36:13.440 --> 01:36:17.640
Kristen is. You're as a mother.

1225
01:36:20.160 --> 01:36:22.960
It when you have your child.

1226
01:36:23.240 --> 01:36:25.160
Making choices that

1227
01:36:26.040 --> 01:36:28.840
is not how you intended to raise them.

1228
01:36:30.720 --> 01:36:34.840
And you love them, but it hurts to see them make those choices.

1229
01:36:34.840 --> 01:36:36.200
And, you know, those are wrong choices.

1230
01:36:36.200 --> 01:36:37.200
And you know that.

1231
01:36:39.600 --> 01:36:42.600
You know, concept like actions have consequences.

1232
01:36:46.160 --> 01:36:48.120
And there's there's betrayal there.

1233
01:36:48.120 --> 01:36:54.000
Like. I would, you know, spend some time with the Lord of like what?

1234
01:36:55.000 --> 01:37:00.400
What what lies and beliefs were formed when that happened?

1235
01:37:02.680 --> 01:37:05.440
Like what hurt was created there?

1236
01:37:07.760 --> 01:37:11.920
And how does God want to come and restore that in you?

1237
01:37:11.920 --> 01:37:14.920
And that doesn't necessarily mean that

1238
01:37:15.040 --> 01:37:17.080
things get sorted out with your son right away.

1239
01:37:17.080 --> 01:37:20.520
You know, you might have to separate yourself.

1240
01:37:20.520 --> 01:37:22.920
It sounds like you probably have.

1241
01:37:22.920 --> 01:37:24.360
I saw a restraining order on him.

1242
01:37:24.360 --> 01:37:27.640
We can see each other because I have his kid, but he can't come to my house.

1243
01:37:27.680 --> 01:37:30.520
Yeah. And so it's about having those healthy boundaries.

1244
01:37:30.520 --> 01:37:35.720
Like, you can still love your child, but not accept the unhealthy, toxic behavior.

1245
01:37:36.720 --> 01:37:41.320
And you can still pray for God to intervene in that.

1246
01:37:41.320 --> 01:37:45.920
You can still pray for God to intervene in their hearts,

1247
01:37:45.920 --> 01:37:50.240
but it's being able to recognize that, you know,

1248
01:37:51.080 --> 01:37:55.480
when that's happened and when it hasn't so that you stay,

1249
01:37:56.880 --> 01:38:01.240
that God continues to protect you and to protect your grand your grandchild.

1250
01:38:02.520 --> 01:38:04.400
And so that would be my.

1251
01:38:07.280 --> 01:38:10.640
My wisdom is, you know, as far as, you know,

1252
01:38:11.680 --> 01:38:15.080
releasing something to God and it being passive, I think this is

1253
01:38:16.760 --> 01:38:20.440
this is much more about the boundaries and the heart healing.

1254
01:38:22.520 --> 01:38:24.440
I get that part, it's more the police part.

1255
01:38:24.440 --> 01:38:26.560
Like, do I keep following up?

1256
01:38:26.560 --> 01:38:28.400
I get all that part because we've been dealing.

1257
01:38:28.400 --> 01:38:30.280
But again, I still think you need to uncover it.

1258
01:38:30.280 --> 01:38:34.000
Like, yeah, what's the purpose of pressing the police?

1259
01:38:34.200 --> 01:38:35.920
There's something deeper there.

1260
01:38:35.920 --> 01:38:37.960
That's just the surface.

1261
01:38:37.960 --> 01:38:42.040
Well, he they he they wrote in the police report a coin shop in St.

1262
01:38:42.040 --> 01:38:46.240
Augustine, but he said it's a coin on St.

1263
01:38:46.240 --> 01:38:48.240
Augustine Road, completely different.

1264
01:38:48.240 --> 01:38:51.440
OK, so. Yeah, but again, I just.

1265
01:38:52.760 --> 01:38:55.040
Hear what I'm saying, I just again,

1266
01:38:56.000 --> 01:39:00.560
I'm not talking about the surface stuff, I'm talking about the deep stuff,

1267
01:39:00.560 --> 01:39:04.520
like I want you to sit in prayer with that one. Yeah. Like.

1268
01:39:04.680 --> 01:39:08.080
Like that's some trauma, like you've definitely experienced some trauma.

1269
01:39:08.080 --> 01:39:11.160
Oh, yeah. Yeah. And so.

1270
01:39:12.880 --> 01:39:16.920
I don't want you to feel like you have to make a decision right away.

1271
01:39:18.440 --> 01:39:20.120
And that's where I would say, you know, just.

1272
01:39:21.320 --> 01:39:29.640
Be still. Sit with the Lord and and what is it that the Lord is inviting you

1273
01:39:29.880 --> 01:39:34.920
to work through in your heart right now and not finding a solution right away?

1274
01:39:35.920 --> 01:39:38.320
All right. OK, thank you.

1275
01:39:38.320 --> 01:39:42.280
All right, ladies, I'm going to quickly pray for us and then release you ladies.

1276
01:39:42.280 --> 01:39:44.880
So Heavenly Father, I just thank you

1277
01:39:44.880 --> 01:39:49.080
that you care more about who we are becoming

1278
01:39:50.280 --> 01:39:53.240
than how quickly we arrive, Lord.

1279
01:39:53.240 --> 01:39:57.720
Help us trust your process, teach us, show us, heal us, grow us.

1280
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:04.880
Every woman leave today feeling seen, loved, confident,

1281
01:40:04.880 --> 01:40:09.880
that you are faithfully leading one step at a time.

1282
01:40:10.020 --> 01:40:13.080
In Jesus' name we pray, amen.

1283
01:40:13.080 --> 01:40:15.960
Ladies, have a great Tuesday.

1284
01:40:15.960 --> 01:40:17.160
We'll see you next time.