WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:08.160 All right, it is so good to see you all and Karen don't you look you're spotlighted you're 2 00:00:08.160 --> 00:00:10.840 like how you look so pretty. 3 00:00:10.840 --> 00:00:14.800 I know you are the youngest looking thing I'm not saying that you're super old but you 4 00:00:14.800 --> 00:00:17.120 have a youthfulness to yourself. 5 00:00:17.120 --> 00:00:18.120 Hey Laura. 6 00:00:18.120 --> 00:00:19.120 Hey Kim. 7 00:00:19.120 --> 00:00:20.120 Hey, is it Kiera? 8 00:00:20.120 --> 00:00:21.120 Hey Amanda. 9 00:00:21.120 --> 00:00:22.120 Hey Daisy. 10 00:00:22.120 --> 00:00:23.120 Hey Shekinah. 11 00:00:23.120 --> 00:00:24.120 Hey Kelly. 12 00:00:24.120 --> 00:00:25.120 Hey Jessica. 13 00:00:25.120 --> 00:00:31.600 Once I start calling one name I don't want to think I'm leaving them out. 14 00:00:31.600 --> 00:00:32.600 Hey iPhone 8. 15 00:00:32.600 --> 00:00:33.600 Hey Rebecca. 16 00:00:33.600 --> 00:00:34.600 Oh, hey Roberta. 17 00:00:34.600 --> 00:00:35.600 Hey Lauren. 18 00:00:35.600 --> 00:00:36.600 Hey Rebecca number one Rebecca, Roberta. 19 00:00:36.600 --> 00:00:37.600 Okay, is there everybody? 20 00:00:37.600 --> 00:00:38.600 There's everybody. 21 00:00:38.600 --> 00:00:39.600 Ladies, how have y'all been doing? 22 00:00:39.600 --> 00:00:40.600 Happy dating. 23 00:00:40.600 --> 00:00:41.600 Are we dating? 24 00:00:41.600 --> 00:00:42.600 Are we discovering ourselves? 25 00:00:42.600 --> 00:00:43.600 Yeah. 26 00:00:43.600 --> 00:00:44.600 Yeah. 27 00:00:44.600 --> 00:01:03.080 I see some, yeah, we're having some aha moments, yeah, good, good. 28 00:01:03.080 --> 00:01:07.640 I was trying to, once again, my printer is not working so it bothers me when I don't 29 00:01:07.640 --> 00:01:11.400 have the notes right in front of me because then I have to use my phone and I don't like 30 00:01:11.400 --> 00:01:12.400 that. 31 00:01:12.400 --> 00:01:15.000 So, but anyway, let us pray. 32 00:01:15.000 --> 00:01:17.160 Father God, I thank you for these ladies. 33 00:01:17.160 --> 00:01:18.800 They are absolutely amazing. 34 00:01:18.800 --> 00:01:23.560 I thank you that they are the apple of your eye and you've written a love story that has 35 00:01:23.560 --> 00:01:26.560 their name all over it, their very best interest. 36 00:01:26.560 --> 00:01:31.200 And so because you are the God who takes care of all things, they have no need to operate 37 00:01:31.200 --> 00:01:32.360 from scarcity. 38 00:01:32.360 --> 00:01:36.720 They have no need to reach and grab Lord God for breadcrumbs because you have a whole meal 39 00:01:36.720 --> 00:01:38.440 sitting waiting for them. 40 00:01:38.440 --> 00:01:41.720 If you're going to be the marriage feast of the lamb and when we get to heaven, we're 41 00:01:41.720 --> 00:01:45.440 going to sit down and you're going to serve us, then we absolutely believe that you have 42 00:01:45.440 --> 00:01:47.560 a meal for us right here on the earth. 43 00:01:47.560 --> 00:01:52.400 For in the book of Psalms, it says the Lord prepares a table before me in the presence 44 00:01:52.400 --> 00:01:53.880 of my enemies. 45 00:01:53.880 --> 00:01:57.280 And so I thank you that the enemy of the soul that speaks to them and tells them they'll 46 00:01:57.280 --> 00:02:01.120 never be married, that nobody wants them, that that man will never come and they just 47 00:02:01.120 --> 00:02:02.120 have to settle. 48 00:02:02.120 --> 00:02:07.320 I declare that you're setting a table before their enemy even now and they shall feast 49 00:02:07.320 --> 00:02:11.320 because goodness and mercy shall follow them all the days of their life. 50 00:02:11.320 --> 00:02:16.760 Goodness and mercy is sitting at the table, every seat in that table that's taken up 51 00:02:16.760 --> 00:02:17.760 by fear. 52 00:02:17.760 --> 00:02:18.760 I tell it to leave now. 53 00:02:18.760 --> 00:02:19.760 You have no invitation. 54 00:02:19.760 --> 00:02:24.240 Every seat at that table that is being filled with trauma, I said, leave now. 55 00:02:24.240 --> 00:02:25.880 You have no invitation. 56 00:02:25.880 --> 00:02:27.920 You are not welcome at this feast. 57 00:02:27.920 --> 00:02:33.560 And so God, I thank you Lord God, that goodness and mercy is accompanying them all the days 58 00:02:33.560 --> 00:02:36.080 of their life. 59 00:02:36.080 --> 00:02:37.080 In Jesus name, amen. 60 00:02:37.080 --> 00:02:38.080 Amen. 61 00:02:38.080 --> 00:02:39.080 That was such a good prayer. 62 00:02:39.080 --> 00:02:40.080 I like the way we're getting started here, ladies. 63 00:02:40.080 --> 00:02:41.080 This is good. 64 00:02:41.080 --> 00:02:42.080 This is good. 65 00:02:42.080 --> 00:02:51.080 And so how many of you had an opportunity to see what Carla posted about the red flags, 66 00:02:51.080 --> 00:02:52.080 the yellow flags? 67 00:02:52.080 --> 00:02:53.080 Did you guys see that post? 68 00:02:53.080 --> 00:02:54.080 If you didn't see it, good. 69 00:02:54.080 --> 00:02:55.080 Some of us, go check it out because it outlines red flags, yellow flags, and green flags. 70 00:02:55.080 --> 00:02:56.080 And sometimes those are a lot of our questions. 71 00:02:56.080 --> 00:02:57.080 Like, is this a red flag? 72 00:02:57.080 --> 00:02:58.080 Help me out. 73 00:02:58.080 --> 00:02:59.080 Is this a yellow flag? 74 00:02:59.080 --> 00:03:00.080 Right. 75 00:03:00.080 --> 00:03:01.080 And sometimes we have a flag party. 76 00:03:01.080 --> 00:03:02.080 We have a red flag party. 77 00:03:02.080 --> 00:03:03.080 We have a yellow flag party. 78 00:03:03.080 --> 00:03:04.080 We have a red flag party. 79 00:03:04.080 --> 00:03:05.080 We have a red flag party. 80 00:03:05.080 --> 00:03:06.080 We have a red flag party. 81 00:03:06.080 --> 00:03:07.080 We have a red flag party. 82 00:03:07.080 --> 00:03:08.080 We have a red flag party. 83 00:03:08.080 --> 00:03:11.080 Sometimes we have a flag party and we don't even know it, huh? 84 00:03:11.080 --> 00:03:17.480 So sometimes we call yellow, red, red, yellow, green, even red, depending on us and what 85 00:03:17.480 --> 00:03:19.640 we got going on, right? 86 00:03:19.640 --> 00:03:24.480 Or depending on what makes our nervous system come a little bit unwired, depending on how 87 00:03:24.480 --> 00:03:29.720 close a person gets to us, we'll take just regular things and give it a whole narrative. 88 00:03:29.720 --> 00:03:33.320 So it's good to have those in your back pocket. 89 00:03:33.320 --> 00:03:36.840 They help keep you grounded and help you see things from a different perspective. 90 00:03:36.840 --> 00:03:40.280 We talked some time ago about perspective being everything. 91 00:03:40.280 --> 00:03:43.560 Perspective is definitely everything. 92 00:03:43.560 --> 00:03:51.080 Perspective is, it really determines the joy that you get to enjoy as you do this journey. 93 00:03:51.080 --> 00:03:55.360 And so we want you to be filled with joy, but we realize that when things aren't joyful, 94 00:03:55.360 --> 00:03:59.920 they're still working for your good and working in your favor and ultimately it's working 95 00:03:59.920 --> 00:04:02.040 something out of you. 96 00:04:02.040 --> 00:04:03.960 Yeah. 97 00:04:03.960 --> 00:04:07.520 And so I hope that you guys got a chance to look at that. 98 00:04:07.520 --> 00:04:12.800 I want to actually try one more time to print because this is totally bothering me. 99 00:04:12.800 --> 00:04:17.480 So I don't know, you know, this HP printer, it costs a little bit too much not to do what's 100 00:04:17.480 --> 00:04:19.519 asked of it. 101 00:04:19.519 --> 00:04:28.620 But it tends to do that from time to time, but it still didn't want to do what I asked. 102 00:04:28.620 --> 00:04:29.620 So we're going to get started. 103 00:04:29.620 --> 00:04:34.220 So tonight we're going to be talking about, and if you guys were on the earlier session, 104 00:04:34.220 --> 00:04:38.860 you just get a double dose of this, but we're going to talk about one of the fears that 105 00:04:38.860 --> 00:04:42.060 we see that are very recurring in the community. 106 00:04:42.060 --> 00:04:46.100 And usually we think, and there's the fear that, oh, I might not get married or no, there's 107 00:04:46.100 --> 00:04:47.100 nobody for me. 108 00:04:47.100 --> 00:04:52.300 But one of the things or the common things that keeps coming up, am I doing this right? 109 00:04:52.300 --> 00:04:54.620 Did I say the wrong thing? 110 00:04:54.620 --> 00:04:55.620 Did I get that right? 111 00:04:55.620 --> 00:04:56.620 Did I hear that right? 112 00:04:56.620 --> 00:04:57.620 Is it me? 113 00:04:57.620 --> 00:04:58.620 Am I overreacting? 114 00:04:58.620 --> 00:04:59.620 Is this a rhythm? 115 00:04:59.620 --> 00:04:59.620 116 00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:01.400 red flag, is this a yellow flag? 117 00:05:01.400 --> 00:05:03.360 What just happened here? 118 00:05:03.360 --> 00:05:04.920 And so I don't want to mess this up. 119 00:05:04.920 --> 00:05:06.760 How do I respond? 120 00:05:06.760 --> 00:05:11.220 And so a lot of times when we are ruminating 121 00:05:11.220 --> 00:05:19.680 on questions like this, it's curiosity. 122 00:05:19.680 --> 00:05:21.560 But sometimes it can look like certainty. 123 00:05:21.560 --> 00:05:22.840 But it really is curiosity. 124 00:05:22.840 --> 00:05:24.680 You want to know, how am I doing? 125 00:05:24.680 --> 00:05:25.880 Am I messing this up? 126 00:05:25.880 --> 00:05:26.960 Am I doing this wrong? 127 00:05:26.960 --> 00:05:28.720 Now for you, it may be fear-based. 128 00:05:28.720 --> 00:05:30.440 OK, I don't want to mess it up because I 129 00:05:30.440 --> 00:05:31.520 may lose everything. 130 00:05:31.520 --> 00:05:33.320 But in it all, it's curiosity. 131 00:05:33.320 --> 00:05:36.880 And curiosity is the invitation from the Lord. 132 00:05:36.880 --> 00:05:39.680 Curiosity. 133 00:05:39.680 --> 00:05:40.760 Yes. 134 00:05:40.760 --> 00:05:49.080 C-U-R-I-O-S-I-T-Y. It's an invitation to trust the Lord. 135 00:05:49.080 --> 00:05:52.800 And that's what we want to sharpen you in, is curiosity. 136 00:05:52.800 --> 00:05:55.280 The same when you ask questions about, am I doing this right? 137 00:05:55.280 --> 00:05:56.480 Am I getting this right? 138 00:05:56.480 --> 00:05:59.880 When you're in a dating situation, 139 00:05:59.880 --> 00:06:01.880 it doesn't even have to be a dating situation. 140 00:06:01.880 --> 00:06:03.720 Have you ever talked to a person and a friend 141 00:06:03.720 --> 00:06:08.880 and they said one thing, and you read an email 142 00:06:08.880 --> 00:06:12.520 and you just kind of overdid it? 143 00:06:12.520 --> 00:06:14.920 You went back the next day and you read it, 144 00:06:14.920 --> 00:06:16.400 and it read totally different. 145 00:06:16.400 --> 00:06:19.280 But when you read it the first time, you felt some type of way 146 00:06:19.280 --> 00:06:20.360 or you got angry. 147 00:06:20.360 --> 00:06:22.000 Anybody ever did that before? 148 00:06:22.000 --> 00:06:24.400 You heard the first time and you went off the charts. 149 00:06:24.400 --> 00:06:26.240 Then you go back the next day and be like, 150 00:06:26.240 --> 00:06:27.360 I didn't even say that. 151 00:06:27.360 --> 00:06:29.000 Where did I get that from? 152 00:06:31.760 --> 00:06:34.520 And so a lot of times when we hear something, 153 00:06:34.520 --> 00:06:37.280 there's not enough space for curiosity 154 00:06:37.280 --> 00:06:42.440 because curiosity leads us to ask questions. 155 00:06:42.440 --> 00:06:48.400 And so I had a recent experience with my mother, 156 00:06:48.400 --> 00:06:52.320 and she called me and expressed some really big feelings 157 00:06:52.320 --> 00:06:54.760 and displeasure toward me. 158 00:06:54.760 --> 00:06:57.920 And a lot of that, she was highly charged. 159 00:06:57.920 --> 00:06:59.960 She was basically screaming at me, 160 00:06:59.960 --> 00:07:01.920 said she had to get it out of her chest. 161 00:07:01.920 --> 00:07:02.520 She did. 162 00:07:02.520 --> 00:07:05.000 She said some really harsh things, 163 00:07:05.000 --> 00:07:07.000 some things that were not true. 164 00:07:07.000 --> 00:07:09.400 But I can tell you it was the first time in my life 165 00:07:09.400 --> 00:07:13.080 that I did not respond. 166 00:07:13.080 --> 00:07:15.920 I never would yell back at her because that's a no-go. 167 00:07:15.920 --> 00:07:17.480 It doesn't matter. 168 00:07:17.480 --> 00:07:20.560 In my culture, that doesn't happen. 169 00:07:20.560 --> 00:07:24.720 You don't have a right to talk back to an adult. 170 00:07:25.160 --> 00:07:26.360 So that doesn't work. 171 00:07:26.360 --> 00:07:29.160 But still, I would have something to say. 172 00:07:29.160 --> 00:07:31.560 But I was able to hold space for her. 173 00:07:31.560 --> 00:07:33.880 And I was able to ask myself, wow. 174 00:07:33.880 --> 00:07:36.680 I said, if she's this passionate about it, 175 00:07:36.680 --> 00:07:38.680 she really believes the things she's saying. 176 00:07:41.400 --> 00:07:43.400 Oh, that's a whole different perspective for me 177 00:07:43.400 --> 00:07:47.920 because now I have empathy and compassion for her 178 00:07:47.920 --> 00:07:51.360 because she believes these things to be true. 179 00:07:51.360 --> 00:07:56.080 And so I didn't see it as a judgment call, as a sentence, 180 00:07:56.080 --> 00:07:57.600 as a judgment against me. 181 00:07:57.600 --> 00:07:59.160 How dare you say this about this? 182 00:07:59.160 --> 00:08:01.200 How dare you say those things about me? 183 00:08:01.200 --> 00:08:03.360 And it really is birthed from a place of curiosity. 184 00:08:03.360 --> 00:08:05.720 So when she got done, I started asking myself questions 185 00:08:05.720 --> 00:08:07.720 like, wow. 186 00:08:07.720 --> 00:08:09.840 That's how I came to, she really believes this. 187 00:08:09.840 --> 00:08:11.480 If she didn't believe it, she wouldn't 188 00:08:11.480 --> 00:08:14.880 be on this phone acting an all-out crazy woman 189 00:08:14.880 --> 00:08:17.280 with her only daughter. 190 00:08:17.280 --> 00:08:18.640 So she's convinced. 191 00:08:18.640 --> 00:08:21.280 And because of that curiosity, because of me 192 00:08:21.280 --> 00:08:23.200 holding space, which is nothing but the Lord 193 00:08:23.200 --> 00:08:25.640 to help grow me in that way, I was 194 00:08:25.640 --> 00:08:30.280 able to ask the Lord what he wants to teach me in this. 195 00:08:30.280 --> 00:08:32.919 And that's the posture we want to impart to you. 196 00:08:32.919 --> 00:08:35.000 And the reason why we're most passionate about it, 197 00:08:35.000 --> 00:08:37.240 I know you hear it all the time, but it 198 00:08:37.240 --> 00:08:41.760 is the posture that guards your heart the best. 199 00:08:41.760 --> 00:08:46.440 A curious posture will help you not call the person 200 00:08:46.440 --> 00:08:48.040 consistent after two weeks. 201 00:08:48.480 --> 00:08:49.000 How? 202 00:08:49.000 --> 00:08:49.840 Why? 203 00:08:49.840 --> 00:08:53.840 Because it gets you saying, OK, I'm getting to know you. 204 00:08:53.840 --> 00:08:56.040 And you won't reach for certainty 205 00:08:56.040 --> 00:09:00.360 because certainty causes us to feel safe. 206 00:09:00.360 --> 00:09:02.400 It can produce a sense of safety. 207 00:09:02.400 --> 00:09:04.560 When you feel safe, guess what? 208 00:09:04.560 --> 00:09:06.000 You let your guards down. 209 00:09:08.800 --> 00:09:13.760 And you start taking what a person say at face value 210 00:09:13.760 --> 00:09:16.760 because your guards are down. 211 00:09:17.760 --> 00:09:21.760 And this is not walls and guards are two different things. 212 00:09:21.760 --> 00:09:22.640 You follow me. 213 00:09:22.640 --> 00:09:24.280 So two different things. 214 00:09:24.280 --> 00:09:25.960 And so the more you stay curious, 215 00:09:25.960 --> 00:09:28.080 the more you can learn about a person. 216 00:09:28.080 --> 00:09:30.080 And then the more you can learn about yourself, 217 00:09:30.080 --> 00:09:31.880 about the way you respond to them, 218 00:09:31.880 --> 00:09:34.440 how they responded to you, what did they really mean. 219 00:09:34.440 --> 00:09:36.280 And you don't take things personal 220 00:09:36.280 --> 00:09:40.360 because you're still giving them what belongs to them. 221 00:09:40.360 --> 00:09:42.720 See, when you find certainty, you almost 222 00:09:42.720 --> 00:09:44.560 start enmeshing with that person. 223 00:09:44.760 --> 00:09:46.600 You feel safe enough to dream, what would it 224 00:09:46.600 --> 00:09:48.320 be like if I was with them? 225 00:09:48.320 --> 00:09:49.720 Where would we live? 226 00:09:49.720 --> 00:09:51.240 Where would we go? 227 00:09:51.240 --> 00:09:52.520 What would we do? 228 00:09:52.520 --> 00:09:53.320 You start that. 229 00:09:53.320 --> 00:09:55.480 So that's like an enmeshing process, right? 230 00:09:55.480 --> 00:09:57.480 And so then when something happens on week three, 231 00:09:57.480 --> 00:09:59.240 you're completely heartbroken. 232 00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:03.280 Why? You didn't just become heartbroken out of the blue. 233 00:10:03.480 --> 00:10:04.440 It's not just you. 234 00:10:04.640 --> 00:10:10.000 Something actually happened in between the first time you talked to them up to week three. 235 00:10:10.200 --> 00:10:11.720 At somewhere, at some point, 236 00:10:11.920 --> 00:10:16.760 something they did gave you a sense of certainty which produced safety or you 237 00:10:16.960 --> 00:10:19.760 looked for certainty and you hung your head on something. 238 00:10:19.960 --> 00:10:22.400 And when you did it, this process of you 239 00:10:22.600 --> 00:10:27.600 and them becoming more of an ideal of one starts to sit in and then you start to 240 00:10:27.760 --> 00:10:29.800 hope and believe. 241 00:10:30.000 --> 00:10:33.280 And then you say, OK, because they did this, they did this. 242 00:10:33.480 --> 00:10:34.800 OK, this is going good. 243 00:10:35.000 --> 00:10:36.960 OK, I can do this. 244 00:10:37.160 --> 00:10:38.520 I like them. 245 00:10:38.720 --> 00:10:40.800 You know, that's kind of how the conversation go in my head. 246 00:10:41.000 --> 00:10:42.880 Like, OK, I think I like them. 247 00:10:43.080 --> 00:10:46.520 And then week three in the process of you still getting to know a person. 248 00:10:46.720 --> 00:10:50.040 But because certainty has been established in you somewhere, 249 00:10:50.240 --> 00:10:54.600 they do something you'd be like, this is totally not like him. 250 00:10:55.600 --> 00:10:56.960 That's not true. 251 00:10:57.160 --> 00:10:58.960 You don't even know him. 252 00:10:59.160 --> 00:11:01.200 It is totally like him. 253 00:11:01.400 --> 00:11:04.680 It is the part of him you haven't met yet. 254 00:11:04.880 --> 00:11:07.080 It is just like him. 255 00:11:07.280 --> 00:11:11.080 You don't have a record to say that this is not like him. 256 00:11:11.280 --> 00:11:14.120 Are y'all tracking with me? 257 00:11:14.320 --> 00:11:18.720 You haven't known him last year, two months, three months to say it's not like him. 258 00:11:18.920 --> 00:11:21.000 He's not like it ain't like him. 259 00:11:21.200 --> 00:11:23.600 The one you knew in the last 14 days. 260 00:11:24.600 --> 00:11:27.000 But you're still getting to know him. 261 00:11:27.200 --> 00:11:29.680 And so that's a real thing. 262 00:11:29.880 --> 00:11:34.040 And that's why we hang our hat on curiosity, because curiosity helps you do 263 00:11:34.240 --> 00:11:42.320 that curiosity and curiosity and pacing are more difficult skills to develop. 264 00:11:42.520 --> 00:11:44.080 Or to stick with, 265 00:11:44.280 --> 00:11:50.680 because a lot of times we will allow what we feel to hijack the process. 266 00:11:50.880 --> 00:11:52.520 And we talked about this before, 267 00:11:52.520 --> 00:11:56.680 but when you're getting to know somebody, it feels so good. 268 00:11:56.880 --> 00:11:59.320 And there's a rift between you. 269 00:11:59.520 --> 00:12:02.320 Sometimes you may feel this 270 00:12:02.520 --> 00:12:06.480 this divide between guarding your heart. 271 00:12:06.680 --> 00:12:08.960 And having fun. 272 00:12:09.160 --> 00:12:12.920 And sometimes we believe, you know, you like the way to feel the feels, 273 00:12:12.920 --> 00:12:14.840 you should feel the feels as a part of the journey. 274 00:12:15.040 --> 00:12:19.440 But there's this balance of going in on that and not letting it drive, 275 00:12:19.440 --> 00:12:23.320 not getting the driver's seat so you get to enjoy those feelings of boy meets girl, 276 00:12:23.520 --> 00:12:26.600 girl meets boy. I think I like you. 277 00:12:26.800 --> 00:12:30.960 And balancing yourself with curiosity. 278 00:12:31.160 --> 00:12:33.160 That's the that's the balancing act, 279 00:12:33.360 --> 00:12:36.560 pacing and curiosity while also enjoying the process. 280 00:12:36.760 --> 00:12:37.760 And it feels so good. 281 00:12:37.960 --> 00:12:40.560 Sometimes you just want to go all in. 282 00:12:40.760 --> 00:12:42.640 And so sometimes we believe the best way 283 00:12:42.840 --> 00:12:47.720 to take to deal with this, to put up walls and to make people audition. 284 00:12:47.960 --> 00:12:50.480 And yet and still you have a problem because, you know, 285 00:12:50.680 --> 00:12:56.240 Jackie teaches that she said a gentleman or a masculine man is just like Jesus. 286 00:12:56.440 --> 00:12:58.080 He comes to the door and knock, 287 00:12:58.280 --> 00:13:02.400 but a thief will climb your walls and steal the goods. 288 00:13:02.600 --> 00:13:05.240 And so men come to the door and they knock. 289 00:13:05.240 --> 00:13:07.200 If you allow them to come in, they will. 290 00:13:07.400 --> 00:13:09.000 But a man who understands his worth 291 00:13:09.200 --> 00:13:13.400 and value is not going to beg and plead and chase you for anything. 292 00:13:13.600 --> 00:13:15.480 Just like a woman who understands her 293 00:13:15.480 --> 00:13:19.760 value will not beg and plead and chase a man for anything. 294 00:13:19.960 --> 00:13:24.320 But she will stand in the same spot she was from the very beginning. 295 00:13:24.520 --> 00:13:25.320 Right. 296 00:13:25.520 --> 00:13:29.040 And so curiosity is one of those things that allow us. 297 00:13:29.240 --> 00:13:32.280 Now, we know that, Jackie, if you want the call on Saturday, 298 00:13:32.480 --> 00:13:35.640 she talked about the prayer. 299 00:13:35.840 --> 00:13:38.880 Teach me, show me, heal me, grow me. 300 00:13:39.080 --> 00:13:41.480 Who I was on that call. 301 00:13:42.040 --> 00:13:43.600 Yeah, yeah. 302 00:13:43.800 --> 00:13:45.720 Was it good? 303 00:13:47.000 --> 00:13:49.080 Yeah, good, yeah, yeah. 304 00:13:49.280 --> 00:13:50.680 Oh, I don't know. 305 00:13:50.880 --> 00:13:54.760 You know, out of all these years, it's probably like five years. 306 00:13:54.960 --> 00:13:58.480 I still don't get I still don't get tired of listening to Jackie. 307 00:13:58.680 --> 00:14:02.720 It's so crazy, even if I have it. 308 00:14:02.920 --> 00:14:03.560 Oh, yeah. 309 00:14:03.560 --> 00:14:05.360 Even if I happen to see her on social media, 310 00:14:05.360 --> 00:14:08.760 like I literally listen to her teachings like I've never heard it before. 311 00:14:08.960 --> 00:14:11.200 And then I tell one of my friends, you got to hear what Jackie said. 312 00:14:11.200 --> 00:14:14.960 And it's not just like I'm this Jackie, it's not true. 313 00:14:15.160 --> 00:14:17.000 Like, I think she's absolutely amazing. 314 00:14:17.200 --> 00:14:19.800 She's a gift to the body and she's a gift to the world. 315 00:14:20.000 --> 00:14:23.560 But I just don't get I don't get weary of listening to her. 316 00:14:23.760 --> 00:14:29.960 Everything, the things that she carries so valuable and so timely. 317 00:14:30.160 --> 00:14:33.680 She speaks words very much in season and time. 318 00:14:33.880 --> 00:14:35.320 And so. 319 00:14:38.520 --> 00:14:40.840 The questions of am I doing this right? 320 00:14:40.840 --> 00:14:43.240 Is this a red flag? Am I tracking the wrong man? 321 00:14:43.440 --> 00:14:45.920 Did I ruin this? What if I miss God's best? 322 00:14:46.120 --> 00:14:48.200 What do I feel like I miss God's best? 323 00:14:48.400 --> 00:14:51.400 If you ever hear the thought, did I miss God's best? 324 00:14:51.600 --> 00:14:55.440 I want you to throw that throw it out so fast your head was spinning. 325 00:14:55.640 --> 00:14:58.920 You cannot miss God's best for your life. 326 00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:05.600 Do I believe that some women have met really good men and you did not choose them? I do. 327 00:15:05.600 --> 00:15:09.200 Do I believe that men have met some really good women and they did not choose them? 328 00:15:09.200 --> 00:15:14.080 They have. I believe that the Lord is bringing suitors before us. 329 00:15:14.080 --> 00:15:18.240 And when we get skilled in training things, we can better choose. 330 00:15:18.880 --> 00:15:23.760 But what happens is sometimes we want all the responsibility to be on God. 331 00:15:23.760 --> 00:15:26.800 And we say God is going to pick and God is going to do and God is going to that. 332 00:15:26.880 --> 00:15:30.800 But God is a God of empowerment. He made you in his likeness and his image. 333 00:15:30.800 --> 00:15:38.480 You carry the breath of God in your body. The Elohim, the creator is in you. He empowers you. 334 00:15:40.320 --> 00:15:44.720 He teaches you. He trains you. He grows you so that you can make decisions. 335 00:15:44.720 --> 00:15:48.400 He trains you so that you can be in the business of the Father. 336 00:15:48.400 --> 00:15:53.120 That's the truth. He's called you to be in there, right? 337 00:15:53.120 --> 00:15:59.600 And so when he wants to teach us and grow us, he does it through our own self because 338 00:15:59.600 --> 00:16:03.520 it's through our eyes. It's through our eyes that we see everybody that we see. 339 00:16:05.360 --> 00:16:08.080 I can look at Amanda and say she's the most amazing woman I ever met. 340 00:16:08.080 --> 00:16:11.280 And somebody else can look at her and say, I really don't like Amanda. 341 00:16:12.000 --> 00:16:16.000 You know, she's so quiet. I don't even know what she's thinking. 342 00:16:16.000 --> 00:16:21.040 And I just don't trust people like that. Yes, we are recording. Thank you so much. 343 00:16:23.200 --> 00:16:27.360 I just don't like people that's quiet like that because I think anytime somebody is quiet, 344 00:16:28.160 --> 00:16:34.240 they plotting on something. So everything that we see in the world, 345 00:16:34.240 --> 00:16:39.280 even the way we view our Heavenly Father, even when we have scriptures are going to be different 346 00:16:39.280 --> 00:16:46.000 from person to person based on who they are, where they are and where they come from and how life has 347 00:16:46.000 --> 00:16:50.720 how they've operated in life or how they've learned love or the trauma that they've experienced. 348 00:16:51.520 --> 00:16:54.320 One second. And so with that being said, 349 00:16:57.280 --> 00:17:03.600 with that being said, in this dating process, we want you to start asking the Lord when these 350 00:17:03.600 --> 00:17:07.599 kind of questions, is this a red flag? Am I doing this right? Am I getting this wrong? 351 00:17:07.599 --> 00:17:09.680 Ask the Lord, what do you want him to show me? 352 00:17:12.319 --> 00:17:20.240 What do you want to reveal to me? Now, I absolutely believe that when you are in dating, 353 00:17:20.800 --> 00:17:27.839 for discovery, that you literally are discovering yourself. Why am I convinced of it? Because I did 354 00:17:27.839 --> 00:17:34.880 the same thing. I'm in a program. I'm part of a program. I've seen it work in my life and I've 355 00:17:34.880 --> 00:17:40.640 seen it work in other people's life. I've seen too much not to know. I am convinced at this point. 356 00:17:40.640 --> 00:17:43.040 It's kind of like when you hear Jackie, no matter when she talks about marriage, 357 00:17:43.040 --> 00:17:47.680 she's convinced that you're going to be married. And it sounds like it's going to happen tomorrow. 358 00:17:47.760 --> 00:17:52.720 Anybody know what I'm saying? Like she is absolutely convinced that your love story is 359 00:17:52.720 --> 00:17:59.760 real. Why? She's seen 1600 marriages and engagements. How can she not be convinced? 360 00:17:59.760 --> 00:18:05.440 And so I'm absolutely convinced of this program coming from the Lord and her strategies because 361 00:18:05.440 --> 00:18:09.760 they worked in my life and they changed me. And dating changed me tremendously. 362 00:18:09.760 --> 00:18:14.000 And when I dated for discovery, I got a different result than when I dated for a husband. 363 00:18:14.880 --> 00:18:19.120 Because there's not anything that, and this session is not about a convincing of that, 364 00:18:19.680 --> 00:18:23.840 but there's not anything that some of you ladies haven't said that I also didn't say. 365 00:18:24.640 --> 00:18:32.640 I've never heard, not one thing. And when I got on board, because Jackie was my coach 366 00:18:33.200 --> 00:18:39.200 and did what she said, everything began to change. And I discovered good things about me and I 367 00:18:40.000 --> 00:18:45.120 discovered some not good things about me. I discovered all of my roadblocks and all of my 368 00:18:45.120 --> 00:18:49.440 barriers. I learned that I really wasn't as marriage minded as I thought I was because I 369 00:18:49.440 --> 00:18:56.480 was unwilling to be. And I carry much, lots of entitlement from culture, from my upbringing. 370 00:18:58.880 --> 00:19:03.760 So I was very self-righteous and it was in my own personal life. Self-righteous, 371 00:19:03.760 --> 00:19:10.080 dealt with a lot of pride, all of those things. And it just comes along with some of our processing 372 00:19:10.720 --> 00:19:16.320 and our upbringing. So when you find yourself asking, well, what should I do? Should I end it? 373 00:19:16.320 --> 00:19:24.800 We want you to say, instead of what should you do? Maybe he's asking, right? Oh, I'm so glad, 374 00:19:24.800 --> 00:19:30.320 Laura. Maybe he's asking, oh Lord, what are you wanting to show me? Because I believe that every 375 00:19:30.320 --> 00:19:34.560 time you get in a dating situation and you start talking to somebody, even if it's still on the app, 376 00:19:35.120 --> 00:19:39.680 the Lord is trying to show you something. Nothing is wasted. And that's why when we say, 377 00:19:39.680 --> 00:19:43.200 I'm not going to waste my time. Oh, trust me, none of your time is wasted. 378 00:19:44.880 --> 00:19:51.600 So don't settle for wasted time and don't write things out as, oh well, you know. So curiosity 379 00:19:51.600 --> 00:19:59.840 doesn't remove wisdom. Let me just tap on that. And I know it can feel like there's so many rules. 380 00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:05.180 It's really not but it seems like one thing begets the next thing but kind of cancels the next thing 381 00:20:05.180 --> 00:20:08.580 And what's the thing we're supposed to do? Okay, don't get rid of wisdom 382 00:20:08.580 --> 00:20:13.560 But I believe wasn't telling me that but you say it's a curious or one of the things that confused me the most when Jacob 383 00:20:13.560 --> 00:20:15.920 Says a yes to listen. No, I'm like, what does that even mean? 384 00:20:18.560 --> 00:20:22.160 It's a no right now, you know, I don't like them it's a no 385 00:20:22.760 --> 00:20:27.520 Listen, it's a yes to listen. No, it's like I said, no, I want you to do at least three times three times 386 00:20:27.760 --> 00:20:31.920 No right now, but when you actually work it you learn so many things 387 00:20:32.680 --> 00:20:37.960 Unless somebody I write this honors you or you know, what I'm saying is putting you in a harmful way 388 00:20:38.280 --> 00:20:40.280 Let it be a yes until it's a no 389 00:20:41.840 --> 00:20:44.600 Let it be a yes enough to discover yourself 390 00:20:47.040 --> 00:20:49.240 Don't despise small beginnings 391 00:20:50.920 --> 00:20:55.960 Don't take your your list to the table ladies. I'm telling you and say well he don't have the education 392 00:20:55.960 --> 00:21:01.400 I want he doesn't make the money. I want he doesn't this you're not evaluating a husband. Are you trying to go on a date? 393 00:21:03.440 --> 00:21:06.640 That's your goal a date, it's your only go 394 00:21:08.840 --> 00:21:10.800 A date 395 00:21:10.800 --> 00:21:18.360 To discover you and you want a low-stakes date. I like low-stakes date. So low-stakes to me gets very creative 396 00:21:18.800 --> 00:21:24.600 That means to me. I'm not gonna even pick the man that I'm so tempted by did I want to make my husband? 397 00:21:24.600 --> 00:21:30.520 I'm gonna pick somebody that absolutely wouldn't I pick to be my husband as long as he's safe 398 00:21:30.800 --> 00:21:32.800 He can hold an intelligent conversation 399 00:21:33.360 --> 00:21:40.100 Even if he can hold a half way of a conversation pretty good. He's not some kind of crazy person. We can go have coffee 400 00:21:41.000 --> 00:21:43.280 Because I am gonna discover myself. I 401 00:21:44.360 --> 00:21:46.660 Am gonna see my femininity come out 402 00:21:47.160 --> 00:21:47.800 You know 403 00:21:47.800 --> 00:21:54.440 I'm gonna get cute and go and let a man look at me and say I can't believe I'm talking to this pretty woman and I'm 404 00:21:54.440 --> 00:21:56.440 gonna sit there like this I 405 00:21:57.040 --> 00:22:00.720 Have seen men and this is what they do with women 406 00:22:00.720 --> 00:22:04.720 I've seen me and sit across the table for me or get up on a video call and start blushing 407 00:22:05.120 --> 00:22:11.340 So much so so they can't even look at the camera and I just say to myself. Yeah, I still got it 408 00:22:13.360 --> 00:22:16.960 It does something so when a man says hello beautiful hello 409 00:22:17.000 --> 00:22:18.920 Oh 410 00:22:18.920 --> 00:22:24.520 When they show you a picture and tap it on thing and put like you look good in this outfit say, thank you 411 00:22:24.520 --> 00:22:27.080 I noticed your picture. You have some nice shoes home. I 412 00:22:28.280 --> 00:22:33.440 Literally say stuff like that, but it just helps you build that muscle of conversation 413 00:22:33.440 --> 00:22:38.980 If you happen to go to singles up and say you go to a singles gathering at a church or something 414 00:22:38.980 --> 00:22:41.520 I was recently at one had 1300 singles there 415 00:22:42.360 --> 00:22:46.280 1300 in Austin, I could not believe my eyes 416 00:22:48.800 --> 00:22:51.560 Not 1300 with five men, oh no, no 417 00:22:52.360 --> 00:22:56.360 There are me and galore. There were women galore all 418 00:22:57.200 --> 00:22:59.960 Ages and so I'm just like wow 419 00:23:00.560 --> 00:23:05.320 It was such an amazing time in Tiffany for my community. We actually went over together 420 00:23:06.000 --> 00:23:10.200 And so it was really good. And so I know it was so good 421 00:23:10.200 --> 00:23:15.440 So amazed and so there's this opportunity where you get to start talking later 422 00:23:15.440 --> 00:23:20.240 I want ladies. I want to encourage you to start talking to me pick the one you don't want 423 00:23:21.280 --> 00:23:27.320 And just talk learn how to work the muscle of talking and so there were there was a nobody 424 00:23:27.320 --> 00:23:28.880 I was particularly interested in there 425 00:23:28.880 --> 00:23:32.760 But the reason why I wouldn't start they told us to talk I wouldn't found a man 426 00:23:32.760 --> 00:23:35.720 I just started talking because I kept a smile on my face 427 00:23:35.800 --> 00:23:38.680 And if there was a man that did see me that did like me 428 00:23:38.680 --> 00:23:40.680 He was gonna know that I was easy to talk to 429 00:23:42.600 --> 00:23:48.880 He's gonna know that oh, she's a talker I could approach her and it builds up my muscle and so oftentimes 430 00:23:48.880 --> 00:23:54.200 I have a friend that tells me she says even it like you are a really good flirt 431 00:23:54.200 --> 00:23:59.320 I don't try to be a really good flirt, but I don't make I don't meet strangers 432 00:24:00.080 --> 00:24:01.720 and 433 00:24:01.720 --> 00:24:07.720 You don't have to hope to be like me. You can show up as you and open up your mouth and talk 434 00:24:09.680 --> 00:24:14.600 Like hey, it's a great day today. Good morning. Good morning. Start with something like that 435 00:24:15.320 --> 00:24:19.800 just start talking to people because when you are friendly you literally look friendly and 436 00:24:20.280 --> 00:24:26.360 When you are standoffish you appear standoffish. Have y'all seen people who look unfriendly before? 437 00:24:27.640 --> 00:24:30.280 Did you approach them? No, you did not 438 00:24:30.800 --> 00:24:33.480 Have you ever been in a room and you could ask a question to anybody? 439 00:24:33.480 --> 00:24:37.800 but you look for the one that looks the most warm or the most inviting and 440 00:24:38.400 --> 00:24:40.160 Then you go to that person to X 441 00:24:40.160 --> 00:24:45.680 there's a reason why you pick that person to X because you're not gonna pick the person who looks they got an attitude or 442 00:24:45.880 --> 00:24:47.880 Looks like they're not present 443 00:24:48.280 --> 00:24:54.560 Right you look for that. And so that's the same thing that happens with me and I want to stay on on target. So 444 00:24:55.880 --> 00:24:59.880 Curiosity doesn't mean curiosity actually strengthens you when you can get the hang of it 445 00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:03.500 This is a skill that took me a while. 446 00:25:03.500 --> 00:25:08.600 I oftentimes will lean more towards my nervous system 447 00:25:08.600 --> 00:25:12.120 will desire certainty. 448 00:25:12.120 --> 00:25:16.820 That's part of the reason why I am a very straight shooter. 449 00:25:16.820 --> 00:25:18.320 I'm just going to ask the question. 450 00:25:18.320 --> 00:25:19.720 I'm just going to be vulnerable. 451 00:25:19.720 --> 00:25:21.920 I would rather tell you what's on my heart 452 00:25:21.920 --> 00:25:25.680 so we can get to the point than me hide something. 453 00:25:25.680 --> 00:25:28.000 Like this is what it is. 454 00:25:28.000 --> 00:25:29.720 I practiced vulnerability long enough 455 00:25:29.720 --> 00:25:33.840 to know that vulnerability wins people over because they 456 00:25:33.840 --> 00:25:35.600 know that you don't have anything to hide 457 00:25:35.600 --> 00:25:37.080 and you're not playing games. 458 00:25:37.080 --> 00:25:39.080 What comes from the heart goes to the heart. 459 00:25:39.080 --> 00:25:41.360 That's something you just cannot get rid of. 460 00:25:41.360 --> 00:25:42.840 It's a heart connection. 461 00:25:42.840 --> 00:25:45.200 People know it when it comes out of you. 462 00:25:45.200 --> 00:25:46.880 And you don't even feel like they could. 463 00:25:46.880 --> 00:25:49.320 Vulnerability is different. 464 00:25:49.320 --> 00:25:52.520 Nobody can take vulnerability and use it against you. 465 00:25:52.520 --> 00:25:55.000 You vulnerably shared it. 466 00:25:55.000 --> 00:25:58.280 That tells you that you're already secure. 467 00:25:58.280 --> 00:26:00.720 So when you release information out of vulnerability, 468 00:26:00.720 --> 00:26:01.640 you're not afraid that somebody's 469 00:26:01.640 --> 00:26:02.800 going to use it against you. 470 00:26:02.800 --> 00:26:05.120 You freely gave it. 471 00:26:05.120 --> 00:26:07.440 That information does not judge you. 472 00:26:07.440 --> 00:26:10.120 That information does not have power over you. 473 00:26:10.120 --> 00:26:13.440 The fact that you released it means you have power over it 474 00:26:13.440 --> 00:26:15.960 and you can share it in any way you so desire. 475 00:26:19.040 --> 00:26:21.920 And so even I messaged someone. 476 00:26:21.920 --> 00:26:23.880 I was like, hey, I'm really interested in getting 477 00:26:23.880 --> 00:26:24.760 to know you. 478 00:26:24.800 --> 00:26:26.760 I said, so someone asked me this question. 479 00:26:26.760 --> 00:26:28.200 Now I'm going to ask it to you. 480 00:26:28.200 --> 00:26:29.520 Make no mistake about it. 481 00:26:29.520 --> 00:26:31.640 I want to get to know you and I'll tell you upfront 482 00:26:31.640 --> 00:26:33.000 that I want to get to know you. 483 00:26:33.000 --> 00:26:35.880 So therefore, when you don't reciprocate to me, 484 00:26:35.880 --> 00:26:38.920 I will say goodbye because I've already told you 485 00:26:38.920 --> 00:26:40.040 that I want to get to know you. 486 00:26:40.040 --> 00:26:42.320 I'm not going to hide the fact that I want to get to know you 487 00:26:42.320 --> 00:26:45.920 in hope that you give me the desires 488 00:26:45.920 --> 00:26:48.640 and you show up the way that I want you to show up. 489 00:26:48.640 --> 00:26:51.640 No, I'm going to tell you the way that I'm going to show up. 490 00:26:52.640 --> 00:26:55.440 And so up front, I say, I'm really interested in getting 491 00:26:55.440 --> 00:26:55.960 to know you. 492 00:26:55.960 --> 00:26:57.840 I know we've been doing a little chit-a-chat, 493 00:26:57.840 --> 00:26:59.920 but I want to get to know you. 494 00:26:59.920 --> 00:27:04.160 Tell me something about yourself that's not on your profile. 495 00:27:04.160 --> 00:27:06.160 Tell me something that I wouldn't know by reading 496 00:27:06.160 --> 00:27:07.120 your profile. 497 00:27:07.120 --> 00:27:09.160 And then they engage. 498 00:27:09.160 --> 00:27:12.440 And if they don't engage, when I show up and they don't engage, 499 00:27:12.440 --> 00:27:15.400 I realize that they're not interested. 500 00:27:15.400 --> 00:27:16.320 Are you following me? 501 00:27:16.320 --> 00:27:19.600 I hope that this is tangible. 502 00:27:19.720 --> 00:27:21.640 I was talking to this one guy on the daily app, 503 00:27:21.640 --> 00:27:23.360 and he kept dropping on and dropping out, 504 00:27:23.360 --> 00:27:24.680 dropping on and dropping out. 505 00:27:24.680 --> 00:27:26.400 I don't stay on an app long enough 506 00:27:26.400 --> 00:27:29.240 to delete people out of my inbox. 507 00:27:29.240 --> 00:27:31.960 I don't keep social media on my phone for the easy access 508 00:27:31.960 --> 00:27:35.000 because I don't like doing scrolling. 509 00:27:35.000 --> 00:27:36.960 But he reached out, and I was like, hey, 510 00:27:36.960 --> 00:27:38.160 you've mentioned me one time. 511 00:27:38.160 --> 00:27:39.600 You fell through, buddy. 512 00:27:39.600 --> 00:27:40.920 What's this business? 513 00:27:40.920 --> 00:27:43.080 He was like, well, maybe this time I can get it right. 514 00:27:43.080 --> 00:27:43.720 Maybe can. 515 00:27:43.720 --> 00:27:45.440 We'll see. 516 00:27:45.440 --> 00:27:46.360 Fell off again. 517 00:27:46.360 --> 00:27:48.480 Then he missed me. 518 00:27:48.480 --> 00:27:49.920 He said, is it too late? 519 00:27:49.920 --> 00:27:51.360 I don't even respond to that. 520 00:27:51.360 --> 00:27:52.880 Buddy, I gave you a second chance, 521 00:27:52.880 --> 00:27:54.160 and you know I'm not you. 522 00:27:54.160 --> 00:27:55.880 You done fell off again. 523 00:27:55.880 --> 00:27:57.600 I don't know what you got going on, 524 00:27:57.600 --> 00:27:58.920 but I don't take it to heart. 525 00:27:58.920 --> 00:28:00.960 I just realized that he done, for some reason, 526 00:28:00.960 --> 00:28:04.200 something is distracting him from following through. 527 00:28:04.200 --> 00:28:06.880 And that's just curiosity, and that's me being vulnerable. 528 00:28:06.880 --> 00:28:09.040 Like, hey, I met you before. 529 00:28:09.040 --> 00:28:11.120 You know you didn't do so well. 530 00:28:11.120 --> 00:28:13.720 We can try again. 531 00:28:13.720 --> 00:28:16.600 And so curiosity and vulnerability, 532 00:28:16.600 --> 00:28:18.360 they work really well together. 533 00:28:18.360 --> 00:28:19.920 So when we're curious, it doesn't 534 00:28:19.920 --> 00:28:21.360 mean we ignore red flags. 535 00:28:21.360 --> 00:28:23.160 You have a list of what red flags will be. 536 00:28:23.160 --> 00:28:28.160 It doesn't mean that we tolerate behavior, certain behaviors 537 00:28:28.160 --> 00:28:29.400 that don't go well with them. 538 00:28:29.400 --> 00:28:31.600 You're not going to tolerate inconsistency. 539 00:28:31.600 --> 00:28:33.400 In one way, it's not a full inconsistency 540 00:28:33.400 --> 00:28:35.360 because you're learning their consistency, 541 00:28:35.360 --> 00:28:38.160 but you're not also going to tolerate breadcrumbs. 542 00:28:38.160 --> 00:28:39.400 That's what I'm saying to you. 543 00:28:39.400 --> 00:28:41.360 And you know when somebody's breadcrumbing you. 544 00:28:41.360 --> 00:28:43.360 You can feel it. 545 00:28:43.360 --> 00:28:46.280 Your nervous system becomes alert. 546 00:28:46.280 --> 00:28:49.040 You know when they're not giving, right? 547 00:28:49.040 --> 00:28:50.400 Anybody experience that before? 548 00:28:50.400 --> 00:28:52.240 You know what I'm talking about. 549 00:28:52.240 --> 00:28:52.960 Yeah. 550 00:28:52.960 --> 00:28:55.480 And then it doesn't mean staying somewhere 551 00:28:55.480 --> 00:28:57.840 God is asking you to leave. 552 00:28:57.840 --> 00:29:00.160 Now, that God is asking you to leave, you're like, 553 00:29:00.160 --> 00:29:01.120 well, I can't hear God. 554 00:29:01.120 --> 00:29:02.840 I don't really know what he's saying. 555 00:29:02.840 --> 00:29:05.400 You lean on the arm of wisdom. 556 00:29:05.400 --> 00:29:07.640 You lean on the arms of the boundaries 557 00:29:07.640 --> 00:29:09.720 that you've submitted yourself to. 558 00:29:09.720 --> 00:29:12.000 And that's why we give you these boundaries, what 559 00:29:12.000 --> 00:29:15.200 you will see as guardrails. 560 00:29:15.200 --> 00:29:17.600 Because they're the things that keep your heart safe. 561 00:29:17.600 --> 00:29:18.880 They keep you safe. 562 00:29:18.880 --> 00:29:21.120 This is how we're going to do this thing. 563 00:29:21.120 --> 00:29:23.600 You have a system in place. 564 00:29:23.600 --> 00:29:26.240 You already had breadcrumbs mean they talk to you a little. 565 00:29:26.240 --> 00:29:27.120 They pull back. 566 00:29:27.120 --> 00:29:28.080 They sit a little here. 567 00:29:28.080 --> 00:29:31.160 They sit enough just to keep you tagging along, Laura. 568 00:29:31.160 --> 00:29:33.240 And so you have a system in place. 569 00:29:33.240 --> 00:29:35.560 Because you're in this program, we've given you a system 570 00:29:35.560 --> 00:29:36.840 to work from. 571 00:29:36.840 --> 00:29:38.680 Work your system. 572 00:29:38.680 --> 00:29:39.920 Stay curious. 573 00:29:39.920 --> 00:29:40.960 Pace yourself. 574 00:29:40.960 --> 00:29:42.120 All of these things. 575 00:29:42.120 --> 00:29:43.600 Are you welcome? 576 00:29:43.600 --> 00:29:44.440 OK? 577 00:29:44.440 --> 00:29:46.520 We know this certainly feels safer. 578 00:29:46.520 --> 00:29:50.440 So anyway, let's give some examples. 579 00:29:50.440 --> 00:29:53.880 And then we're going to do a little breakout. 580 00:29:53.880 --> 00:29:57.080 So should I end this relationship? 581 00:29:57.080 --> 00:29:57.960 Try, Laura. 582 00:29:57.960 --> 00:30:00.840 Teach me what you're revealing. 583 00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:05.440 Now I'm saying like if somebody do something that you got to end it, you end it. 584 00:30:05.440 --> 00:30:06.440 Don't hear that. 585 00:30:06.440 --> 00:30:07.440 Don't, not right. 586 00:30:07.440 --> 00:30:11.640 We just talked about, we're not going to use curiosity to ignore things. 587 00:30:11.640 --> 00:30:13.400 If something needs to end, it needs to end. 588 00:30:13.400 --> 00:30:17.200 But sometimes you're up in the air, like kind of it's a yes till it's a no. 589 00:30:17.200 --> 00:30:19.280 So do I need to end this or should I move forward? 590 00:30:19.280 --> 00:30:21.160 And he said, Lord, what are you revealing to me? 591 00:30:21.160 --> 00:30:22.720 What do you want to teach me? 592 00:30:22.720 --> 00:30:24.880 And we'll post this. 593 00:30:24.880 --> 00:30:29.960 Instead of did I ruin this, pray, show me what's happening inside of me. 594 00:30:29.960 --> 00:30:30.960 It's a really big one. 595 00:30:30.960 --> 00:30:33.000 When you hear, did I mess this good thing up? 596 00:30:33.000 --> 00:30:36.640 Let me tell you, I'm going to tell you why I run from that question. 597 00:30:36.640 --> 00:30:39.200 Did I mess this good thing up? 598 00:30:39.200 --> 00:30:43.520 Because you can see no farther than the day that is right in your face. 599 00:30:43.520 --> 00:30:47.960 You literally don't know what five years down the road looks like with this person, 10 years 600 00:30:47.960 --> 00:30:48.960 down the road. 601 00:30:48.960 --> 00:30:52.560 When you say I do, you don't know what's going to be activated, what's on the inside of them 602 00:30:52.560 --> 00:30:54.120 and how they're going to show up. 603 00:30:54.120 --> 00:31:01.120 So when you believe that I messed this good thing up, it's a bit of an exaggeration. 604 00:31:01.120 --> 00:31:04.200 You don't even know it's a good thing. 605 00:31:04.200 --> 00:31:07.640 You know that it may have some component, you know, there may be some makings of a good 606 00:31:07.640 --> 00:31:08.640 thing. 607 00:31:08.640 --> 00:31:15.520 And by that same token, I want you guys to start considering that when a person choose 608 00:31:15.520 --> 00:31:20.760 you, it's good for them to see you in your unkept state. 609 00:31:20.760 --> 00:31:26.840 It's good for them to see you spiral so they can look at you and say, I still choose you 610 00:31:26.840 --> 00:31:29.920 because I'm not going to discount everything that I knew about you before now. 611 00:31:29.920 --> 00:31:38.440 Oh, because I remember you are human and yep, I'm willing to cultivate that part of you. 612 00:31:38.440 --> 00:31:39.440 Not if you're toxic. 613 00:31:39.440 --> 00:31:45.400 So we're not talking to toxic people, but we're talking about, right? 614 00:31:45.400 --> 00:31:49.000 And so there is nothing wrong with it. 615 00:31:49.000 --> 00:31:51.240 So those why sometimes I'm like, oh, did I mess this up? 616 00:31:51.240 --> 00:31:55.440 It's like, that's not even possible. 617 00:31:55.440 --> 00:31:56.440 For me, it's not possible. 618 00:31:56.440 --> 00:32:01.080 Do I believe women pass up good men because they don't fit their checkbox? 619 00:32:01.080 --> 00:32:02.560 Yes. 620 00:32:02.560 --> 00:32:08.240 That's a different story than I'm getting to know a person, something happened and we 621 00:32:08.240 --> 00:32:11.000 can't move on from this or I messed up a really good thing. 622 00:32:11.000 --> 00:32:15.600 Well, that thing wasn't the thing for you and you need some growth in the area. 623 00:32:15.600 --> 00:32:19.720 If you did something that was detrimental and that person's like, I have to walk away 624 00:32:19.720 --> 00:32:20.720 from you. 625 00:32:20.720 --> 00:32:21.720 It's nothing wrong with it. 626 00:32:21.720 --> 00:32:22.720 They're doing right. 627 00:32:22.720 --> 00:32:26.120 But also that means there's something that the Lord wants to heal in you. 628 00:32:26.120 --> 00:32:29.320 He wants to deal with something in you. 629 00:32:29.320 --> 00:32:31.840 And then the next thing, what does this mean about him? 630 00:32:31.840 --> 00:32:38.000 Instead of what does it mean about him, ask, what are you growing in me, Lord? 631 00:32:38.000 --> 00:32:39.560 Because that's one of our really big questions. 632 00:32:39.560 --> 00:32:40.560 Okay. 633 00:32:40.560 --> 00:32:43.120 So what does this mean about this man? 634 00:32:43.120 --> 00:32:45.720 It means what you see. 635 00:32:45.720 --> 00:32:48.160 He is not showing up the way you would like. 636 00:32:48.160 --> 00:32:55.260 So that means, Lord, what's inside of me that struggles to accept this or how do you want 637 00:32:55.260 --> 00:32:56.260 to grow me? 638 00:32:56.260 --> 00:33:04.000 Is this the point where I draw a line in the sand and say, hey, buddy, I've kind of shared 639 00:33:04.000 --> 00:33:09.760 with you that the way this, your rhythm doesn't work for me, or hey, let's talk about your 640 00:33:09.760 --> 00:33:12.640 rhythm of communication. 641 00:33:13.160 --> 00:33:16.480 So the Lord wants to grow the voice on the inside of you that comes to the table and 642 00:33:16.480 --> 00:33:17.840 say, this works for me. 643 00:33:17.840 --> 00:33:21.480 This does not work for me without having fear of being rejected. 644 00:33:21.480 --> 00:33:26.440 If you get rejected, oh, well, because you were going to walk away anyway, if he did 645 00:33:26.440 --> 00:33:31.440 not change his rhythm of communication, because you can't get to know a person if they don't 646 00:33:31.440 --> 00:33:35.840 show up to the table and you're not in the business of dragging people to your table 647 00:33:35.840 --> 00:33:39.160 that has a feast that has been spreaded. 648 00:33:39.160 --> 00:33:45.560 You're not in the business of dragging somebody to enjoy your joy, enjoy your peace, to come 649 00:33:45.560 --> 00:33:47.200 along and build with you. 650 00:33:47.200 --> 00:33:52.080 That's not the business that you're in, and as a matter of fact, when a person does not 651 00:33:52.080 --> 00:33:58.920 have the eyes to see the value and the worth that you are, it is your exit sign, and there 652 00:33:58.920 --> 00:34:08.040 is no hard feelings about that, because when a man sees a wife, he identifies her as such. 653 00:34:08.040 --> 00:34:10.960 So it makes it very easy for you, okay? 654 00:34:10.960 --> 00:34:16.040 And so then when something's happening, you get to show up and work those things that 655 00:34:16.040 --> 00:34:19.840 are on the inside of you that you're going to need anyway, that you should be using every 656 00:34:19.840 --> 00:34:20.840 day in life. 657 00:34:20.840 --> 00:34:24.520 Because if you're in a dating situation and you can't speak up to that person, you definitely 658 00:34:24.520 --> 00:34:29.080 will find other areas of your life where you struggle with speaking up for yourself, because 659 00:34:29.080 --> 00:34:31.679 it's the same skill throughout, okay? 660 00:34:31.679 --> 00:34:35.920 And then instead of asking, how do I know he's my husband? 661 00:34:35.920 --> 00:34:36.920 Is he the one? 662 00:34:36.920 --> 00:34:37.920 I don't know. 663 00:34:37.920 --> 00:34:38.920 Is he the one? 664 00:34:38.920 --> 00:34:43.320 You want to pause and say, what are you teaching me today? 665 00:34:43.320 --> 00:34:49.080 Because whether he's your husband or not, part of it is going to be you making a decision. 666 00:34:49.080 --> 00:34:51.440 You want to know why I know it's you making a decision? 667 00:34:51.440 --> 00:34:55.080 Because if he does something that's too grievous for you to go on, you're going to make a decision 668 00:34:55.080 --> 00:34:57.880 to release him. 669 00:34:57.880 --> 00:34:58.720 Does that make sense? 670 00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:02.360 The ideal of, is he the one or not? 671 00:35:02.360 --> 00:35:04.920 A lot of times, we want to know if he's the one or not 672 00:35:04.920 --> 00:35:07.280 so you can bypass the process. 673 00:35:07.280 --> 00:35:08.640 Oh, yep, he the one. 674 00:35:08.640 --> 00:35:09.440 Let's get married. 675 00:35:13.280 --> 00:35:16.080 If you know the Father, the God of the Bible, 676 00:35:16.080 --> 00:35:17.280 he is a God of process. 677 00:35:20.320 --> 00:35:22.320 And if you not walk with him in a process, 678 00:35:22.320 --> 00:35:25.680 welcome to the process world. 679 00:35:25.680 --> 00:35:27.440 And if you don't want to be processed, 680 00:35:27.440 --> 00:35:29.480 then I want you to take a look at every marriage. 681 00:35:29.480 --> 00:35:31.360 You always said you didn't want, and get ready 682 00:35:31.360 --> 00:35:32.560 to make that your future. 683 00:35:37.240 --> 00:35:38.840 It's true. 684 00:35:38.840 --> 00:35:41.640 You want to process just because when a person is kind, 685 00:35:41.640 --> 00:35:42.600 they're also not kind. 686 00:35:42.600 --> 00:35:44.360 This is you. 687 00:35:44.360 --> 00:35:47.320 When we can be kind, and we can also be not so kind. 688 00:35:47.320 --> 00:35:49.360 We can be wonderful and funny, and we can also 689 00:35:49.360 --> 00:35:52.720 be not so wonderful and not so funny. 690 00:35:52.720 --> 00:35:55.520 When we get hungry, we can get hangry. 691 00:35:55.560 --> 00:35:59.000 When we get sleepy, we can be short, harsh. 692 00:36:02.000 --> 00:36:05.080 And so we don't want to bypass the process. 693 00:36:05.080 --> 00:36:08.280 So I want to do this. 694 00:36:08.280 --> 00:36:12.200 So I want us to pray. 695 00:36:12.200 --> 00:36:13.400 We're going to pray together. 696 00:36:13.400 --> 00:36:14.360 This is the activation. 697 00:36:14.360 --> 00:36:17.040 And then I think I'm going to put you in breakout rooms. 698 00:36:17.040 --> 00:36:18.080 I want you to pray. 699 00:36:18.080 --> 00:36:21.080 And then we're going to say, Lord, teach me, show me, heal 700 00:36:21.080 --> 00:36:22.440 me, grow me. 701 00:36:22.440 --> 00:36:25.280 Then I want you to share one thing God revealed to you 702 00:36:26.040 --> 00:36:27.760 this week. 703 00:36:27.760 --> 00:36:29.600 One thing God revealed to you this week, 704 00:36:29.600 --> 00:36:31.040 and whoever you're in a group with, 705 00:36:31.040 --> 00:36:32.560 I want you to share it with them. 706 00:36:32.560 --> 00:36:34.360 One thing we're learning how to see, 707 00:36:34.360 --> 00:36:37.120 what has God revealed to me this week? 708 00:36:37.120 --> 00:36:39.520 One thing the Lord has revealed, He's always revealing. 709 00:36:39.520 --> 00:36:41.480 He's always teaching. 710 00:36:41.480 --> 00:36:42.560 He's always showing. 711 00:36:42.560 --> 00:36:43.600 He's always healing. 712 00:36:43.600 --> 00:36:44.920 He's always growing. 713 00:36:44.920 --> 00:36:48.960 We just don't always join in on the fun. 714 00:36:48.960 --> 00:36:51.480 And sometimes they're not that fun, to be honest with you. 715 00:36:56.240 --> 00:36:57.000 OK? 716 00:36:57.000 --> 00:36:59.600 So Lord, we're praying this prayer. 717 00:37:02.600 --> 00:37:05.840 Teach me, show me, heal me, grow me. 718 00:37:05.840 --> 00:37:09.080 I'm going to share one thing God revealed to you this week. 719 00:37:09.080 --> 00:37:10.960 You can think about that now before I put you 720 00:37:10.960 --> 00:37:13.240 in a breakout room, so you won't feel a rush 721 00:37:13.240 --> 00:37:15.400 to come up with something and not listen to them 722 00:37:15.400 --> 00:37:17.840 while you're trying to think of what you're going to say next. 723 00:37:17.840 --> 00:37:20.280 One thing you feel like the Lord has shown you this week, 724 00:37:20.280 --> 00:37:22.880 He's taught you this week. 725 00:37:22.920 --> 00:37:24.760 One of the greatest postures you can 726 00:37:24.760 --> 00:37:29.840 be in as a dating person in phase two is that of a student. 727 00:37:32.440 --> 00:37:34.560 Students learn more than the teacher. 728 00:37:38.360 --> 00:37:41.720 And students teach the teacher. 729 00:37:41.720 --> 00:37:44.720 See, the teacher already has a set curriculum 730 00:37:44.720 --> 00:37:46.880 that they're going to teach from. 731 00:37:46.880 --> 00:37:49.480 But when you're a student, you can get creative. 732 00:37:49.480 --> 00:37:50.160 You can learn. 733 00:37:50.160 --> 00:37:50.840 You can grow. 734 00:37:50.840 --> 00:37:51.880 You can be stretched. 735 00:37:52.600 --> 00:37:54.360 You can throw out old stinking thinking, 736 00:37:54.360 --> 00:37:55.880 pick up new thinking. 737 00:37:55.880 --> 00:37:58.120 There's so much stuff that happens when you're a teacher 738 00:37:58.120 --> 00:38:00.960 but when you're a student. 739 00:38:00.960 --> 00:38:03.240 But oftentimes, when we are the teacher, 740 00:38:03.240 --> 00:38:06.520 this thing that we're teaching, we've mastered. 741 00:38:06.520 --> 00:38:09.280 So if you show up to a classroom as a master 742 00:38:09.280 --> 00:38:10.760 and you're supposed to be a teacher, 743 00:38:10.760 --> 00:38:12.560 you're supposed to be a student, you really 744 00:38:12.560 --> 00:38:14.080 don't learn very much. 745 00:38:14.080 --> 00:38:18.680 You don't release old rules and old laws to adopt new ones. 746 00:38:18.720 --> 00:38:22.040 And you keep running out the same internal system, 747 00:38:22.040 --> 00:38:23.760 the same thing that keeps producing 748 00:38:23.760 --> 00:38:26.200 the thing that gives you what you don't have 749 00:38:26.200 --> 00:38:29.480 and that's not the desired thing. 750 00:38:29.480 --> 00:38:31.120 And so when we show up as students, 751 00:38:31.120 --> 00:38:32.880 when we're teachable with the Lord, 752 00:38:32.880 --> 00:38:34.960 he gets to pull out old programming, 753 00:38:34.960 --> 00:38:37.280 put in new programming. 754 00:38:37.280 --> 00:38:39.200 If you know that you're a student, 755 00:38:39.200 --> 00:38:42.080 you are willing to listen. 756 00:38:42.080 --> 00:38:44.440 You won't tussle with him about what you know 757 00:38:44.440 --> 00:38:45.600 and what you think. 758 00:38:45.640 --> 00:38:47.880 Do you know that we are like rocks 759 00:38:47.880 --> 00:38:51.040 compared to the knowledge and wisdom 760 00:38:51.040 --> 00:38:52.520 and intelligence of God? 761 00:38:53.560 --> 00:38:55.960 So when you hear yourself, I know you're thinking right now, 762 00:38:55.960 --> 00:38:58.560 when you hear yourself putting up an argument with the Lord 763 00:38:58.560 --> 00:39:00.320 about what you did and what you think 764 00:39:00.320 --> 00:39:02.160 and how you this and you that, 765 00:39:02.160 --> 00:39:04.240 I want you to stop in the middle of saying it 766 00:39:04.240 --> 00:39:07.160 and say, Lord, I repent for pride 767 00:39:07.160 --> 00:39:10.080 to believe that I got more sense than you do. 768 00:39:10.080 --> 00:39:11.320 This is the truth. 769 00:39:12.440 --> 00:39:13.720 Don't hide it. 770 00:39:13.720 --> 00:39:14.920 Don't hide the argument. 771 00:39:15.240 --> 00:39:17.120 Let it come out because when you let it come out, 772 00:39:17.120 --> 00:39:20.000 you will hear the thing that's ruminating in your heart 773 00:39:20.000 --> 00:39:22.800 that is a barrier to your growth. 774 00:39:22.800 --> 00:39:24.640 The thing that is blocking you from going 775 00:39:24.640 --> 00:39:27.440 because if you can get that out, you can take in more. 776 00:39:28.400 --> 00:39:30.120 We're human. 777 00:39:30.120 --> 00:39:33.320 We're not, we have two parts of us. 778 00:39:33.320 --> 00:39:35.760 God puts it super to our natural. 779 00:39:35.760 --> 00:39:40.760 But the Bible says that hope deferred makes the heart sick. 780 00:39:42.520 --> 00:39:43.920 Y'all, that's a real thing. 781 00:39:43.920 --> 00:39:45.520 Your heart literally becomes sick 782 00:39:45.520 --> 00:39:47.320 waiting on the promises of God. 783 00:39:48.640 --> 00:39:53.320 And when you lack perception, perspective I mean, 784 00:39:53.320 --> 00:39:57.480 when you lack understanding times and seasons, 785 00:39:57.480 --> 00:39:59.360 when you also struggle with, 786 00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:03.640 your theology about what you believe about how God works, 787 00:40:03.640 --> 00:40:06.720 all those things make for a sick heart. 788 00:40:06.720 --> 00:40:08.760 And when you just struggle with his timing 789 00:40:08.760 --> 00:40:12.000 being different from yours and not having a strategy, 790 00:40:12.000 --> 00:40:13.740 when you don't have a strategy or a plan 791 00:40:13.740 --> 00:40:15.520 to see how something's gonna happen, 792 00:40:15.520 --> 00:40:17.440 listen, that is challenging. 793 00:40:19.140 --> 00:40:20.560 But we don't have to be that way. 794 00:40:20.560 --> 00:40:22.400 And we don't have to be in that space 795 00:40:22.400 --> 00:40:23.840 because the Lord always gives us, 796 00:40:23.840 --> 00:40:25.360 he's always working on something. 797 00:40:25.360 --> 00:40:27.160 He's always developing something. 798 00:40:27.160 --> 00:40:29.120 And I'm telling you, when he develops in you, 799 00:40:29.120 --> 00:40:30.200 you never regret it. 800 00:40:30.200 --> 00:40:31.240 The Lord told me one time, 801 00:40:31.240 --> 00:40:35.080 when we get done with this, I'll be your reward. 802 00:40:35.080 --> 00:40:37.040 He's the greatest reward I ever had. 803 00:40:37.040 --> 00:40:38.760 This is the truth. 804 00:40:38.760 --> 00:40:40.800 He took me through a thing and he promised me one thing 805 00:40:40.800 --> 00:40:41.760 and that thing fell through. 806 00:40:41.760 --> 00:40:44.800 And I was so mad, I threw my phone across the room. 807 00:40:44.800 --> 00:40:47.360 I almost bust the window in my apartment. 808 00:40:47.360 --> 00:40:49.000 Was so angry with God 809 00:40:50.280 --> 00:40:51.760 because he asked me to believe him 810 00:40:51.760 --> 00:40:55.220 for something that he did not deliver. 811 00:40:55.220 --> 00:40:58.600 But he had told me early on, he says, I'll be your reward. 812 00:40:59.040 --> 00:41:01.000 I didn't know what he was talking about. 813 00:41:03.440 --> 00:41:06.000 And he said, the greatest thing that you'll lose 814 00:41:06.000 --> 00:41:09.120 in this process is not knowing me as your reward. 815 00:41:09.120 --> 00:41:10.960 He wanted to give me himself, 816 00:41:10.960 --> 00:41:13.260 but he knew that I didn't know that way. 817 00:41:13.260 --> 00:41:15.120 So he packaged it differently. 818 00:41:16.480 --> 00:41:19.600 You see, a lot of us, the way we're getting to know the Lord 819 00:41:19.600 --> 00:41:22.740 is through this journey or package of getting to a husband. 820 00:41:23.920 --> 00:41:27.320 Because you may have been the person that just showed up 821 00:41:27.320 --> 00:41:28.800 because of this and that's okay. 822 00:41:28.800 --> 00:41:30.560 And this is how he got you to show up. 823 00:41:30.560 --> 00:41:32.760 Some people show up to God because of their children. 824 00:41:32.760 --> 00:41:34.960 Some people show up to God because they need a job. 825 00:41:34.960 --> 00:41:35.960 Some people show up to God 826 00:41:35.960 --> 00:41:37.540 because sickness is in their body. 827 00:41:37.540 --> 00:41:39.480 There's oftentimes a buy-in 828 00:41:39.480 --> 00:41:41.280 that gets us to show up to the Lord. 829 00:41:41.280 --> 00:41:43.720 So when we show up, he takes that opportunity 830 00:41:43.720 --> 00:41:45.720 because he know that thing that your heart desires 831 00:41:45.720 --> 00:41:46.960 is not going nowhere. 832 00:41:46.960 --> 00:41:48.320 You ain't gonna give up on it. 833 00:41:48.320 --> 00:41:51.120 So he uses that time to cultivate you, 834 00:41:51.120 --> 00:41:53.520 to draw you into more intimacy with him. 835 00:41:53.520 --> 00:41:55.040 And so when we are students, 836 00:41:55.720 --> 00:41:57.480 it removes that resistance 837 00:41:57.480 --> 00:42:00.200 so that you can get to know him in a more full way. 838 00:42:01.320 --> 00:42:03.680 Because marriage is a light thing to the Lord. 839 00:42:05.960 --> 00:42:08.880 And so he uses this opportunity in this space 840 00:42:08.880 --> 00:42:12.880 to develop you and to stretch the boundary lines 841 00:42:12.880 --> 00:42:13.880 of your life. 842 00:42:15.280 --> 00:42:17.760 To let you see that there's a greater technology 843 00:42:17.760 --> 00:42:19.400 working on the inside of you. 844 00:42:19.400 --> 00:42:22.040 You are the one that when he picked the dust up 845 00:42:22.040 --> 00:42:24.880 and he put his very essence on the inside of you, 846 00:42:25.720 --> 00:42:27.720 his breath in you, his intelligence in you, 847 00:42:27.720 --> 00:42:30.720 everything about God lives on the inside of you. 848 00:42:30.720 --> 00:42:33.480 You know, there's a scripture that says that, 849 00:42:33.480 --> 00:42:34.440 it don't say what a shame, 850 00:42:34.440 --> 00:42:37.120 but basically it said that the slaves 851 00:42:37.120 --> 00:42:39.160 were riding on the horses 852 00:42:39.160 --> 00:42:42.200 and the kings were walking on foot. 853 00:42:42.200 --> 00:42:44.600 What kind of inversion is that? 854 00:42:46.200 --> 00:42:49.000 And a lot of times we're going through life as footmen 855 00:42:49.000 --> 00:42:50.840 when we should be riding on the horse 856 00:42:50.840 --> 00:42:53.280 and the Lord is working to get us from being footmen 857 00:42:53.280 --> 00:42:55.040 to put us on the horse 858 00:42:55.040 --> 00:42:57.040 that we're supposed to be riding in on, 859 00:42:57.040 --> 00:42:58.960 but yet the slave is on the horse. 860 00:42:58.960 --> 00:43:00.000 What does that look like? 861 00:43:00.000 --> 00:43:01.040 It looks like the person 862 00:43:01.040 --> 00:43:02.640 who's not believing God for a husband, 863 00:43:02.640 --> 00:43:04.360 they living their life any kind of way they want. 864 00:43:04.360 --> 00:43:06.400 They don't serve the king of kings and Lord of Lords. 865 00:43:06.400 --> 00:43:08.400 They don't call our father Abba, 866 00:43:08.400 --> 00:43:10.960 but we're the ones not living the life 867 00:43:10.960 --> 00:43:12.040 and they're living the life. 868 00:43:12.040 --> 00:43:14.480 And you say, what kind of stuff is this? 869 00:43:14.480 --> 00:43:15.680 You know it's not right 870 00:43:15.680 --> 00:43:18.000 because if I serve the man that owns the cattle 871 00:43:18.000 --> 00:43:19.160 on a thousand hills, 872 00:43:19.160 --> 00:43:21.320 surely I should not be struggling this way. 873 00:43:21.320 --> 00:43:23.120 Surely I should have more. 874 00:43:25.400 --> 00:43:27.040 But sometimes we think we get the more 875 00:43:27.040 --> 00:43:28.080 just because we get the more, 876 00:43:28.080 --> 00:43:30.120 but there are principles that govern every kingdom 877 00:43:30.120 --> 00:43:32.280 you'll ever be a part of. 878 00:43:32.280 --> 00:43:33.680 And it's only two kingdoms in the world, 879 00:43:33.680 --> 00:43:36.400 the kingdom of God and the kingdom of darkness. 880 00:43:36.400 --> 00:43:38.800 But if you're tracking with me, 881 00:43:38.800 --> 00:43:41.720 God wants to set order back in your life. 882 00:43:41.720 --> 00:43:43.720 And he knows that any fulfillment 883 00:43:43.720 --> 00:43:46.560 that you're ever gonna have is gonna come through you. 884 00:43:46.560 --> 00:43:50.240 You will not have fulfillment that comes through marriage. 885 00:43:50.280 --> 00:43:51.800 And so when we talked about everything 886 00:43:51.800 --> 00:43:52.960 that you have on your checklist 887 00:43:52.960 --> 00:43:54.400 that you're waiting for marriage to do, 888 00:43:54.400 --> 00:43:56.560 I'm telling you, it will not do it for you. 889 00:43:58.640 --> 00:44:01.040 The joy that you're gonna have depends on you. 890 00:44:01.040 --> 00:44:03.760 The peace that you're gonna carry depends on you. 891 00:44:03.760 --> 00:44:05.880 The fullness of life that you're gonna have depends on you. 892 00:44:05.880 --> 00:44:07.200 I was talking to one of my friends today 893 00:44:07.200 --> 00:44:09.440 and I said to her, we're gonna go to our breakout rooms. 894 00:44:09.440 --> 00:44:12.960 But I said to her, I think I'm understanding some things. 895 00:44:12.960 --> 00:44:14.200 There are things in our life, 896 00:44:14.200 --> 00:44:16.120 and Jackie talks about this all the time, 897 00:44:16.120 --> 00:44:17.480 that you have this business idea 898 00:44:17.480 --> 00:44:19.360 or all these thoughts about what you can do, 899 00:44:19.360 --> 00:44:20.480 what you can develop. 900 00:44:20.480 --> 00:44:22.120 And something in you says, I'm gonna wait. 901 00:44:22.120 --> 00:44:24.240 I'm gonna wait to get a home when I get a husband. 902 00:44:24.240 --> 00:44:26.160 I'm gonna wait to do this when I get a husband. 903 00:44:26.160 --> 00:44:28.280 And I'm gonna wait to do this when I get a husband. 904 00:44:28.280 --> 00:44:31.240 And that's that thing about understanding times and seasons, 905 00:44:31.240 --> 00:44:32.560 because what you don't know 906 00:44:32.560 --> 00:44:34.480 is when the marriage seasons come, 907 00:44:34.480 --> 00:44:36.200 the things that you were supposed to produce 908 00:44:36.200 --> 00:44:38.240 and develop in your single season 909 00:44:38.240 --> 00:44:40.320 won't go into that season with you. 910 00:44:40.320 --> 00:44:43.160 So you're gonna come with your ideas of your coffee shop 911 00:44:43.160 --> 00:44:45.600 with this husband who don't have no desire for a coffee shop. 912 00:44:45.600 --> 00:44:47.680 And I don't care if the dream did come from God, 913 00:44:47.680 --> 00:44:49.440 you come under a new order. 914 00:44:50.400 --> 00:44:52.160 And he don't care about no coffee shop, 915 00:44:52.160 --> 00:44:54.440 even if the Lord told you about it. 916 00:44:54.440 --> 00:44:56.640 You should have built your coffee shop when you were single, 917 00:44:56.640 --> 00:44:58.680 when the Lord told you about your coffee shop. 918 00:44:58.680 --> 00:45:00.440 Do you understand what I'm saying? 919 00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:05.520 and the Lord is giving you more time to do those things in your singleness that are to be done in 920 00:45:05.520 --> 00:45:09.280 that season because when you get married and you enter this season they're going to be different 921 00:45:09.280 --> 00:45:12.320 requires and different dreams and different things they're going to have to be birthed 922 00:45:12.320 --> 00:45:15.680 and then you're going to be reaching into your husband and pulling out the gold on the inside of 923 00:45:15.680 --> 00:45:19.520 him and he's going to give you a vision and you're going to give him a blueprint to make it work 924 00:45:19.520 --> 00:45:24.160 you're going to partner with somebody else and in that partnering both of you guys will have to 925 00:45:24.160 --> 00:45:29.600 maybe sometimes lay aside some things not to say they won't get picked up but your coffee shop is 926 00:45:29.600 --> 00:45:36.000 your baby you've been dreaming of it I'm just using coffee shop and so then in our singleness 927 00:45:36.000 --> 00:45:41.200 we have an opportunity to let the Lord develop what he wants to develop growing this and that's 928 00:45:41.200 --> 00:45:48.080 what Jackie says stop putting stuff off do it now whatever you're going to do do it now what 929 00:45:48.080 --> 00:45:53.760 I want to do with my husband what law is that what is that about what did you talk about what 930 00:45:54.480 --> 00:45:55.840 what scripture did they come from 931 00:45:57.520 --> 00:46:01.280 because there's a different assignment that's on your life than the assignment that's with your 932 00:46:01.280 --> 00:46:09.040 husband right and so not to say some of these things won't be done not to say that you can't 933 00:46:09.040 --> 00:46:14.000 be supported in it but what if not are you going to get upset with him because he had a different 934 00:46:14.000 --> 00:46:19.680 plan in mind because he don't want to do what you want to do and so I just think that I just 935 00:46:19.760 --> 00:46:24.000 want to share that with y'all because I think that you're in a position and so what happens 936 00:46:24.000 --> 00:46:31.920 is sometimes we believe if I focus on this I'm not focused on that it's not true if I go and 937 00:46:31.920 --> 00:46:38.400 build this with the Lord we're not building this it's not true the Lord is still writing your love 938 00:46:38.400 --> 00:46:46.080 story you still can go out on a date and build your coffee shop and build your website and build 939 00:46:46.080 --> 00:46:54.960 the things that God has put in you to build in this earth it's in you Elohim lives on the inside 940 00:46:54.960 --> 00:47:03.280 of you that is God our creator lives in you the builder lives in you the one who looked at the 941 00:47:03.280 --> 00:47:08.400 bible says that the earth was void and with that form and darkness covering in God spoke 942 00:47:09.600 --> 00:47:15.440 that's who lives in you and he wants to create through you he wants to build through you he 943 00:47:15.440 --> 00:47:20.320 wants to put systems in place through you marriage is not your ultimate goal 944 00:47:22.320 --> 00:47:25.440 and when you get married you're gonna see why we said what we said when you get there 945 00:47:26.320 --> 00:47:31.680 but Jackie says this all the time it's not the prize of life it's actually another sharpening 946 00:47:31.680 --> 00:47:36.080 tool trust me you're gonna have different prayer points when you get married I don't care how much 947 00:47:36.080 --> 00:47:44.800 y'all speak in tongues how much I love Jesus he uses it as a maturity plan he uses this to drive 948 00:47:44.800 --> 00:47:54.160 selfishness far from us he uses it to cause us to become humble he uses it to help us accept people 949 00:47:54.160 --> 00:47:58.320 as they are and to walk with them and to grow with them and to hold space for somebody other 950 00:47:58.320 --> 00:48:08.480 than ourselves and that's not easy but it is doable okay I hope we didn't forget the question 951 00:48:08.480 --> 00:48:13.680 I'm gonna quickly put y'all in some breakout rooms and I'll repeat it because I know I forgot it 952 00:48:14.560 --> 00:48:20.480 what has the Lord revealed to you this week teach me show me heal me grow me share one thing God 953 00:48:20.480 --> 00:48:28.720 revealed to you this week and um I haven't done this in a while huh tools 954 00:48:29.040 --> 00:48:36.960 yeah and I like this I want you to take about um we got 27 participants I want you to each 955 00:48:36.960 --> 00:48:47.440 don't take too long sharing share about it's 755 10 yeah I bring you back at 805 so share for about 956 00:48:48.400 --> 00:48:56.640 it's 755 10 yeah I bring you back at 805 so share for about if I say three to four minutes don't go 957 00:48:56.640 --> 00:49:03.600 over five in the I'm gonna put two to three people in the room so share for about three to four 958 00:49:03.600 --> 00:49:09.120 minutes and then let someone else share and kind of riff just hear each other out you don't have to 959 00:49:09.120 --> 00:49:13.280 give feedback you can say that's good or thank you for sharing but you don't want to spend a lot of 960 00:49:13.280 --> 00:49:23.680 time right okay all right I'll see you soon 961 00:49:23.680 --> 00:49:32.080 so 962 00:49:40.480 --> 00:49:46.960 hey come on back in the room how was it did you all get a chance to learn some things from 963 00:49:46.960 --> 00:49:49.120 are people still back joining us let's see 964 00:49:54.560 --> 00:49:59.760 I think there's everybody okay sounds good all right 965 00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:04.480 We hear some really good things from our sisters, yeah? 966 00:50:04.480 --> 00:50:06.520 Good, good. 967 00:50:06.520 --> 00:50:08.840 Anybody wanna share one thing someone shared 968 00:50:08.840 --> 00:50:10.320 or something you shared? 969 00:50:11.600 --> 00:50:13.840 I would enjoy hearing it. 970 00:50:13.840 --> 00:50:15.560 We will all enjoy hearing it. 971 00:50:15.560 --> 00:50:16.800 I'll share. 972 00:50:16.800 --> 00:50:18.080 Go for it. 973 00:50:18.080 --> 00:50:19.280 Hi, I'm Alexa. 974 00:50:19.280 --> 00:50:21.680 And whenever you asked the question, 975 00:50:21.680 --> 00:50:26.240 I immediately saw me trying to drive this car. 976 00:50:26.240 --> 00:50:28.720 The Lord showed me I was just like this little girl 977 00:50:28.720 --> 00:50:30.120 and I'm always, I'm like a go-getter. 978 00:50:30.120 --> 00:50:32.280 I'm trying to slam down the pedal and drive 979 00:50:32.280 --> 00:50:33.280 and I can't even see. 980 00:50:33.280 --> 00:50:35.240 It's like five-year-old little girl, right? 981 00:50:35.240 --> 00:50:38.080 And God's like, all right, all right. 982 00:50:38.080 --> 00:50:40.120 You need to let me take the wheel. 983 00:50:40.120 --> 00:50:42.520 And that's what he's just been showing me is trust. 984 00:50:42.520 --> 00:50:43.760 Like, you just need to trust me. 985 00:50:43.760 --> 00:50:46.480 Like, you're not gonna steer this car and drive and see 986 00:50:46.480 --> 00:50:48.920 and be able to back up the car and maneuver it. 987 00:50:48.920 --> 00:50:50.240 Like, you need to trust me. 988 00:50:50.240 --> 00:50:53.040 And that's what he's been showing me is like, 989 00:50:53.040 --> 00:50:55.520 this week it's just, he revealed to me, 990 00:50:55.560 --> 00:50:57.160 because I'm in this relationship 991 00:50:57.160 --> 00:51:00.440 and I'm trying to make everything happen, 992 00:51:00.440 --> 00:51:04.200 trying to make it all just what I think it should be. 993 00:51:04.200 --> 00:51:05.680 And God's like, nope. 994 00:51:05.680 --> 00:51:08.400 Because the guy that I'm with, like we ended up, 995 00:51:08.400 --> 00:51:11.120 we kind of gotten like a few disagreements recently. 996 00:51:11.120 --> 00:51:14.400 And he, like being actually a good leader, 997 00:51:14.400 --> 00:51:16.680 way better than any other relationship I've had, 998 00:51:16.680 --> 00:51:19.560 he's like, all right, so we're gonna take a few days. 999 00:51:19.560 --> 00:51:21.840 I'm gonna take a few days. 1000 00:51:21.840 --> 00:51:22.920 I'm gonna take a breather. 1001 00:51:22.920 --> 00:51:23.960 You're gonna take a few days. 1002 00:51:23.960 --> 00:51:24.920 You're gonna take a breather. 1003 00:51:25.360 --> 00:51:28.000 And I'm gonna call you out this day at this time, okay? 1004 00:51:28.000 --> 00:51:29.120 And you don't need to call me. 1005 00:51:29.120 --> 00:51:29.960 I'm gonna call you. 1006 00:51:29.960 --> 00:51:33.280 And I'm like, but like, but, and he's just like, 1007 00:51:34.240 --> 00:51:35.920 I'm like, okay, God, I trust you. 1008 00:51:35.920 --> 00:51:37.400 And then he's like, he's like, 1009 00:51:37.400 --> 00:51:38.840 well, that's probably who you need to spend 1010 00:51:38.840 --> 00:51:41.280 the few days with, okay, is the Lord. 1011 00:51:41.280 --> 00:51:44.600 I'm like, okay, thanks for that. 1012 00:51:44.600 --> 00:51:46.480 So anyway, it's just been like hard. 1013 00:51:46.480 --> 00:51:51.480 And, but I'm here and I know that I'm learning to trust. 1014 00:51:52.240 --> 00:51:54.880 I know it's hard, but I'm learning. 1015 00:51:54.880 --> 00:51:56.480 Yeah, that's so good. 1016 00:51:56.480 --> 00:51:57.960 Thank you for sharing. 1017 00:51:57.960 --> 00:51:59.520 You're welcome. 1018 00:51:59.520 --> 00:52:01.400 Yeah, anyone else wanna share? 1019 00:52:04.880 --> 00:52:06.720 Okay, all right. 1020 00:52:06.720 --> 00:52:08.760 Well, do we have some questions tonight? 1021 00:52:10.320 --> 00:52:14.840 Let's take next day, 23 minutes. 1022 00:52:14.840 --> 00:52:15.800 Go ahead, Karen. 1023 00:52:18.200 --> 00:52:20.240 Okay, I loved the homework this week. 1024 00:52:20.240 --> 00:52:21.160 Thank you. 1025 00:52:21.840 --> 00:52:23.240 It's been very cognizant on my mind 1026 00:52:23.240 --> 00:52:25.880 to pay attention to what, at the end of the day, 1027 00:52:25.880 --> 00:52:27.000 what are my needs? 1028 00:52:27.000 --> 00:52:28.080 Who am I going to for those? 1029 00:52:28.080 --> 00:52:29.600 So one of the things that God showed me 1030 00:52:29.600 --> 00:52:31.800 that I shared with Eloise was, 1031 00:52:31.800 --> 00:52:35.720 oh, I tend to call people first 1032 00:52:35.720 --> 00:52:39.920 before going to God with a need, friends or parents. 1033 00:52:39.920 --> 00:52:42.200 So that was like an awareness. 1034 00:52:44.440 --> 00:52:46.960 And then I shared on the post today, 1035 00:52:46.960 --> 00:52:49.760 like today I realized I had a win 1036 00:52:49.760 --> 00:52:52.360 because it's top of mind to recognize need 1037 00:52:52.360 --> 00:52:54.920 and do not just deal with it myself. 1038 00:52:54.920 --> 00:52:58.560 I'm in a new job four days in, which is awesome, 1039 00:52:58.560 --> 00:53:00.560 but it's like drinking from a water hose. 1040 00:53:00.560 --> 00:53:02.720 It's not anything I've ever done before. 1041 00:53:02.720 --> 00:53:05.920 So it's outside my comfort zone, like drastically. 1042 00:53:07.440 --> 00:53:09.320 And so they were about to be like, 1043 00:53:09.320 --> 00:53:10.880 okay, you're gonna go shadow so-and-so now. 1044 00:53:10.880 --> 00:53:11.720 You're gonna do this and this. 1045 00:53:11.720 --> 00:53:14.960 I was like, can I raise a yellow flag? 1046 00:53:14.960 --> 00:53:16.560 We have a client meeting tomorrow 1047 00:53:16.560 --> 00:53:17.960 that I'm in charge of this project. 1048 00:53:18.000 --> 00:53:20.040 And I would like to take time to actually read through 1049 00:53:20.040 --> 00:53:21.520 and review what this project is 1050 00:53:21.520 --> 00:53:23.960 because they'll probably ask me questions. 1051 00:53:23.960 --> 00:53:26.000 Could we learn what the end of day stuff is 1052 00:53:26.000 --> 00:53:28.440 maybe tomorrow or Thursday instead? 1053 00:53:28.440 --> 00:53:31.000 They're like, sure. 1054 00:53:31.000 --> 00:53:33.440 Yeah, because I said, I'm getting overwhelmed 1055 00:53:33.440 --> 00:53:36.440 and I wanna be prepared for this meeting tomorrow. 1056 00:53:36.440 --> 00:53:37.280 That was good. 1057 00:53:38.240 --> 00:53:39.920 So, and it was met with grace 1058 00:53:39.920 --> 00:53:41.240 and it was met with understanding. 1059 00:53:41.240 --> 00:53:44.720 So that was really a good practice. 1060 00:53:45.720 --> 00:53:50.720 My question is a learning. 1061 00:53:50.720 --> 00:53:53.520 So I'm similar to you, what you were saying, Ebony, 1062 00:53:53.520 --> 00:53:55.160 of never met a stranger. 1063 00:53:55.160 --> 00:53:57.960 When I'm in person, never met a stranger. 1064 00:53:59.160 --> 00:54:01.720 I am finding a struggle on the apps, 1065 00:54:01.720 --> 00:54:04.240 which is just very mind boggling to me 1066 00:54:04.240 --> 00:54:06.160 because I know lots of people. 1067 00:54:06.160 --> 00:54:07.680 Everyone's like, Karen, you know everyone. 1068 00:54:07.680 --> 00:54:08.600 You connect with everyone. 1069 00:54:08.600 --> 00:54:09.760 You can talk to anyone. 1070 00:54:11.560 --> 00:54:13.120 The apps are dying out. 1071 00:54:13.160 --> 00:54:14.800 And I was like, why am I struggling 1072 00:54:14.800 --> 00:54:17.440 to get some momentum on the apps enough 1073 00:54:17.440 --> 00:54:19.640 for it to be turned into a phone call, 1074 00:54:19.640 --> 00:54:21.040 to turn into an actual date? 1075 00:54:21.040 --> 00:54:22.400 Like, I wanna practice everything, 1076 00:54:22.400 --> 00:54:24.200 but I keep saying to the Lord, 1077 00:54:24.200 --> 00:54:26.200 I'd love some opportunity to practice. 1078 00:54:28.080 --> 00:54:29.880 Are you saying that when you talk, 1079 00:54:29.880 --> 00:54:32.040 it doesn't materialize into that? 1080 00:54:32.040 --> 00:54:36.560 Right, so the example would be, not always. 1081 00:54:36.560 --> 00:54:39.280 So I went on three dates with some guy from the app. 1082 00:54:39.280 --> 00:54:40.360 I've been on Hinge. 1083 00:54:40.360 --> 00:54:41.760 It'll be three months, end of June. 1084 00:54:41.760 --> 00:54:44.080 It'll die out and I'll do something else. 1085 00:54:44.080 --> 00:54:46.160 So I went on three dates with one guy. 1086 00:54:46.160 --> 00:54:49.040 We both decided like, oh, we're not really a match. 1087 00:54:49.040 --> 00:54:50.240 Okay, God bless. 1088 00:54:50.240 --> 00:54:52.160 And it was a great, great opportunity. 1089 00:54:53.520 --> 00:54:56.000 Then there was two guys that I've been talking to 1090 00:54:56.000 --> 00:54:57.480 for a month, I think I mentioned. 1091 00:54:57.480 --> 00:55:00.160 And I finally met one in person last weekend. 1092 00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:03.120 And it's a yes till it's a no. 1093 00:55:03.120 --> 00:55:07.920 And that was a found some like major worldview things that are like not in alignment. 1094 00:55:07.920 --> 00:55:11.120 So it's like, that's a no. 1095 00:55:11.120 --> 00:55:17.180 And the one I mentioned last week, I had, I had prompted or tried to prompt a phone 1096 00:55:17.180 --> 00:55:20.340 call a few times and it wasn't picked up on. 1097 00:55:20.340 --> 00:55:25.260 But then, then after we talked Tuesday, and I was gonna like be more forthright, he scheduled 1098 00:55:25.260 --> 00:55:26.260 a phone call. 1099 00:55:26.260 --> 00:55:28.680 So like, okay, so we had a great call. 1100 00:55:28.680 --> 00:55:32.240 I thought it was a great call Friday. 1101 00:55:32.240 --> 00:55:36.040 And he wrapped it because he needed to go to, you know, eat his dinner. 1102 00:55:36.040 --> 00:55:38.360 I was like, Oh, well, this is a great conversation. 1103 00:55:38.360 --> 00:55:39.360 Really enjoyed it. 1104 00:55:39.360 --> 00:55:41.960 He's like, yeah, we'll be talking. 1105 00:55:41.960 --> 00:55:43.080 Nothing since Friday. 1106 00:55:43.080 --> 00:55:45.800 So I'm like, okay. 1107 00:55:45.800 --> 00:55:50.800 Do I reiterate that I enjoyed the call just as like a discovery opportunity? 1108 00:55:50.800 --> 00:55:55.520 I'm fine if he doesn't like me, it's his product get prerogative to do so. 1109 00:55:55.840 --> 00:56:00.680 But he's been kind of a slow, take three or four days in between communication no matter 1110 00:56:00.680 --> 00:56:01.680 what. 1111 00:56:01.680 --> 00:56:07.480 So I'm just not sensing a whole lot of interest to get to know someone. 1112 00:56:07.480 --> 00:56:08.480 Yeah. 1113 00:56:08.480 --> 00:56:13.280 What you can do is if you want to get to know him, you can reach out and say, Hey, how's 1114 00:56:13.280 --> 00:56:14.280 everything going? 1115 00:56:14.280 --> 00:56:23.120 We haven't talked in a few days and just, hey, if you're interested in getting to get 1116 00:56:23.120 --> 00:56:26.440 to know each other, let's get something planned. 1117 00:56:26.440 --> 00:56:27.440 I love that. 1118 00:56:27.440 --> 00:56:28.520 Thank you. 1119 00:56:28.520 --> 00:56:29.520 And then leave it there. 1120 00:56:29.520 --> 00:56:31.440 Leave the bottle in his court and see what he does. 1121 00:56:31.440 --> 00:56:35.440 And then, you know, that's awesome. 1122 00:56:35.440 --> 00:56:36.440 Local. 1123 00:56:36.440 --> 00:56:37.440 Yeah. 1124 00:56:37.440 --> 00:56:38.440 He's like 20 minutes away. 1125 00:56:38.440 --> 00:56:39.440 Oh, yeah. 1126 00:56:39.440 --> 00:56:40.440 Yeah. 1127 00:56:40.440 --> 00:56:41.440 Yeah. 1128 00:56:41.440 --> 00:56:42.440 He's gonna have to. 1129 00:56:42.440 --> 00:56:43.440 Yeah. 1130 00:56:43.440 --> 00:56:44.440 Yeah. 1131 00:56:44.440 --> 00:56:45.440 Great idea. 1132 00:56:45.440 --> 00:56:46.440 Great work team. 1133 00:56:46.440 --> 00:56:47.440 We're like 20 minutes away. 1134 00:56:47.440 --> 00:56:48.440 Let's just go coffee. 1135 00:56:48.440 --> 00:56:49.440 Yeah. 1136 00:56:49.440 --> 00:56:55.800 And then sometimes on apps and you may need to just your three months is up. 1137 00:56:55.800 --> 00:56:59.440 You can just take a break because you do, you know, you're meeting people out in the 1138 00:56:59.440 --> 00:57:00.440 public. 1139 00:57:00.440 --> 00:57:02.860 I often find myself looking. 1140 00:57:02.860 --> 00:57:08.520 I don't know what your community is like or what your city or town is like, but I spend 1141 00:57:08.520 --> 00:57:14.400 time checking out the churches in the area and checking out their ministries, their connect 1142 00:57:14.400 --> 00:57:15.920 groups, their singles ministry. 1143 00:57:15.920 --> 00:57:16.920 I go visit. 1144 00:57:16.920 --> 00:57:17.920 I do that a lot. 1145 00:57:17.920 --> 00:57:23.640 There are churches I've gone to just because I like their selection of men. 1146 00:57:23.640 --> 00:57:26.760 And that idea is Oasis. 1147 00:57:26.760 --> 00:57:28.200 I really like. 1148 00:57:28.200 --> 00:57:29.200 I love that. 1149 00:57:29.200 --> 00:57:30.200 I need to come to Texas. 1150 00:57:30.200 --> 00:57:32.960 So around at least I have. 1151 00:57:32.960 --> 00:57:36.760 I'm not aware of any singles ministries in this area. 1152 00:57:36.760 --> 00:57:38.160 Well check out what do they do have? 1153 00:57:38.160 --> 00:57:39.160 They may have some connect groups. 1154 00:57:39.160 --> 00:57:42.560 So you need to check out what the inventory looks like. 1155 00:57:42.560 --> 00:57:43.560 And so I went to one church. 1156 00:57:43.560 --> 00:57:48.200 I like Hispanic men and they had some fine ones up in there. 1157 00:57:48.200 --> 00:57:53.360 And so I would go out and then I, you know, and so I still go visit there. 1158 00:57:53.360 --> 00:58:01.960 When you say connect groups, so around here, I've been to like, I'd say 80% of the churches 1159 00:58:01.960 --> 00:58:07.680 because I moved here and tried them all, 80% of the churches and all the ones I've been 1160 00:58:07.680 --> 00:58:13.040 to in order to get into a small group, you have to go through like three to four months 1161 00:58:13.040 --> 00:58:15.080 of their, get to know the church. 1162 00:58:15.080 --> 00:58:19.640 And then they assigned you a group and it's like a real process to get into a home group. 1163 00:58:19.640 --> 00:58:21.320 Oh wow. 1164 00:58:21.320 --> 00:58:25.760 It's very, I've never experienced this in any like area I've ever been to, but most 1165 00:58:25.760 --> 00:58:30.920 churches around here, it's really challenging to actually get assigned or initiated into 1166 00:58:30.920 --> 00:58:33.040 or get connected into a home group. 1167 00:58:33.040 --> 00:58:34.040 You kind of right. 1168 00:58:34.040 --> 00:58:35.040 Initiated at this point. 1169 00:58:35.040 --> 00:58:36.040 Oh wow. 1170 00:58:36.040 --> 00:58:40.040 And I'm like, what if I don't like the group you assigned me to? 1171 00:58:40.040 --> 00:58:41.040 Yeah. 1172 00:58:41.040 --> 00:58:42.040 Yeah. 1173 00:58:42.040 --> 00:58:43.040 That's interesting. 1174 00:58:43.040 --> 00:58:44.040 Well, it's very odd. 1175 00:58:44.040 --> 00:58:45.040 Yeah, that is. 1176 00:58:45.040 --> 00:58:46.040 To me. 1177 00:58:46.040 --> 00:58:47.040 To me, it's odd. 1178 00:58:47.040 --> 00:58:53.680 Well, it's different, but because some people a little bit more, if they're coming into 1179 00:58:53.680 --> 00:58:56.240 your home, you want to know them a little bit better. 1180 00:58:56.240 --> 00:58:59.440 And I think that's the reason why they have that problem. 1181 00:58:59.440 --> 00:59:00.440 Yeah. 1182 00:59:00.440 --> 00:59:01.440 Yeah. 1183 00:59:01.440 --> 00:59:02.440 Yeah. 1184 00:59:02.440 --> 00:59:03.440 Yeah. 1185 00:59:03.440 --> 00:59:04.440 This is interesting. 1186 00:59:04.440 --> 00:59:10.640 Um, so I have tried, you know, how I've gotten to know people here is women's Bible study. 1187 00:59:11.280 --> 00:59:12.680 I just tell myself, you know what? 1188 00:59:12.680 --> 00:59:15.440 I might be meeting my mother-in-law tonight. 1189 00:59:15.440 --> 00:59:16.440 Come on. 1190 00:59:16.440 --> 00:59:18.760 I might be meeting my sister-in-law today. 1191 00:59:18.760 --> 00:59:19.760 Yeah. 1192 00:59:19.760 --> 00:59:20.760 I agree. 1193 00:59:20.760 --> 00:59:26.680 Um, and some people are dropping some, um, some advice in the chat group, but you never 1194 00:59:26.680 --> 00:59:29.120 know whose sister you're talking to. 1195 00:59:29.120 --> 00:59:30.120 It's so true. 1196 00:59:30.120 --> 00:59:32.160 Smile on your face and be friendly to everybody. 1197 00:59:32.160 --> 00:59:33.160 You don't never know. 1198 00:59:33.160 --> 00:59:34.160 Oh yeah. 1199 00:59:34.160 --> 00:59:39.400 And what cracks me up is since landing here in Iowa, I've been in the construction industry. 1200 00:59:39.440 --> 00:59:46.840 And so I'm around like guys all the time, but 95% of the time they are married. 1201 00:59:46.840 --> 00:59:51.280 I am living in a very, like people get married in their teens and early twenties here and 1202 00:59:51.280 --> 00:59:54.280 they, yeah, they settle. 1203 00:59:54.280 --> 00:59:59.080 Um, the area that I'm in is a lot of families, a lot of families. 1204 00:59:59.080 --> 00:59:59.960 So, yeah. 1205 01:00:00.840 --> 01:00:07.160 Okay, that doesn't mean that he doesn't move in here like I did that's right. It's true. They're single me in there 1206 01:00:07.520 --> 01:00:13.040 Or I'm going to Ireland in September and going to the singles festival and go get you one and bring them on back 1207 01:00:13.680 --> 01:00:15.680 That's right 1208 01:00:15.920 --> 01:00:20.120 Also good Karen good to see you. Thank you work me good to see you also 1209 01:00:22.160 --> 01:00:24.160 Eloise 1210 01:00:26.360 --> 01:00:29.760 How's it going there we go, um, so 1211 01:00:30.120 --> 01:00:32.120 on my 1212 01:00:32.160 --> 01:00:34.840 You know initial date that I told you about 1213 01:00:36.800 --> 01:00:38.800 One of the things that 1214 01:00:39.960 --> 01:00:47.560 The guy that I went out with and everything, although it was a great discovery date and wonderful. There won't be any more dates 1215 01:00:49.680 --> 01:00:51.680 That was his decision and 1216 01:00:52.080 --> 01:00:57.400 And and that's fine. But one of the things he asked me that I you know 1217 01:00:57.440 --> 01:00:58.960 I haven't 1218 01:00:58.960 --> 01:01:00.680 Needed to tell this to anybody 1219 01:01:00.680 --> 01:01:06.920 but I mean he was like wanting to know how many relationships have I had how long have they been and all this and 1220 01:01:07.120 --> 01:01:13.040 And I you know, I just said, you know, we're not going there. We're we're here to have a good time and 1221 01:01:13.920 --> 01:01:15.920 some great conversation 1222 01:01:17.000 --> 01:01:22.560 But I don't know how to answer something like that when I need to actually 1223 01:01:24.080 --> 01:01:26.080 Answer it because I've only 1224 01:01:27.720 --> 01:01:35.160 The longest I've dated anybody was four months even the guy that asked me to marry him. We only dated four months 1225 01:01:36.080 --> 01:01:38.160 before that so, you know, I don't 1226 01:01:40.000 --> 01:01:44.600 You know, the Lord is definitely opening me up to a lot of stuff but I 1227 01:01:45.680 --> 01:01:51.380 So, I don't know how to answer that or what to do about that. So you answer it just like you answered me 1228 01:01:51.840 --> 01:01:54.600 The longest relationship I've been in is about four months 1229 01:01:55.600 --> 01:01:59.000 They're gonna say really your whole life you're gonna say yeah 1230 01:02:01.000 --> 01:02:03.000 Wow, okay 1231 01:02:04.200 --> 01:02:06.200 It's the truth, right 1232 01:02:06.440 --> 01:02:08.440 Well, yeah, it is 1233 01:02:09.200 --> 01:02:15.240 I just don't know. So you just stop with that and let him ask questions then 1234 01:02:18.240 --> 01:02:24.400 Yeah, you don't have to over explain it that's how long most of your relationships last about four months 1235 01:02:24.680 --> 01:02:29.560 Your whole life. Yeah, never been married. I don't have you been married before. Yeah 1236 01:02:30.160 --> 01:02:35.400 You say yes. No, I haven't. No, so never been married. No not been married. Oh 1237 01:02:35.920 --> 01:02:38.240 How did they end up happening? You never been married before? 1238 01:02:38.560 --> 01:02:43.200 Well, the four months that we had didn't didn't lead us to the altar. So I let it go 1239 01:02:44.480 --> 01:02:46.480 Yeah, I 1240 01:02:48.120 --> 01:02:51.240 Don't I don't spend time where it's time not to be spent 1241 01:02:51.560 --> 01:02:55.960 I ever you want to put a twist to it. I don't waste time if I find that it's not working 1242 01:02:58.720 --> 01:03:06.600 Yeah, oh gosh, that's wonderful so I tend to tell more than I need to you know 1243 01:03:07.120 --> 01:03:09.120 coming from 1244 01:03:09.640 --> 01:03:13.320 Journalism background and everything the facts and all that sort of stuff 1245 01:03:13.320 --> 01:03:16.600 I tell you more than you ever wanted to know so I just need to 1246 01:03:18.960 --> 01:03:20.960 Shut up 1247 01:03:21.960 --> 01:03:28.960 Yeah, you know, yeah, you don't have to over explain actually Eloise the short answer is the best answer just get straight to it 1248 01:03:28.960 --> 01:03:30.960 Whatever it is 1249 01:03:31.200 --> 01:03:33.920 And it's just that's what it is. I 1250 01:03:35.120 --> 01:03:40.080 Love that. I don't waste time. I haven't in the past and I won't do that to you either 1251 01:03:40.680 --> 01:03:42.680 This is wonderful 1252 01:03:43.920 --> 01:03:45.920 Thank you 1253 01:03:49.080 --> 01:03:51.080 Yay, okay 1254 01:03:51.240 --> 01:03:53.240 All right, so 1255 01:03:54.880 --> 01:03:56.880 Yeah 1256 01:03:58.720 --> 01:04:00.720 So 1257 01:04:01.440 --> 01:04:04.600 And one of the things Karen and I were 1258 01:04:05.840 --> 01:04:08.360 in the little chat thing and so 1259 01:04:09.160 --> 01:04:12.640 she said something and it caused me to 1260 01:04:15.720 --> 01:04:18.000 Because Tim my hot date 1261 01:04:18.520 --> 01:04:20.520 You know said 1262 01:04:20.920 --> 01:04:26.240 You're just so beautiful and you don't need to lose any more weight because he was talking about he lost 88 pounds 1263 01:04:26.800 --> 01:04:28.240 and 1264 01:04:28.240 --> 01:04:29.840 And I said, well you beat me 1265 01:04:29.840 --> 01:04:34.760 I've I've lost 60 only lost 60 and he said you don't need to lose another ounce 1266 01:04:34.760 --> 01:04:40.280 and so I mean, you know, the Lord tells me all the time how beautiful I am and 1267 01:04:40.960 --> 01:04:42.800 You know all that good stuff 1268 01:04:42.840 --> 01:04:49.560 You know all that good stuff and it's like a man that I don't even know said that and I 1269 01:04:50.640 --> 01:04:51.920 and 1270 01:04:51.920 --> 01:04:54.600 I've never had a man be quite so 1271 01:04:56.160 --> 01:04:59.760 Open and I mean he wasn't slick at all 1272 01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:07.360 you know, kind of, you could tell he was being sincere and stuff, but I'm like, okay, Lord, 1273 01:05:07.360 --> 01:05:14.560 I need to relish what you're saying to me a lot more than Tim did, you know, kind of 1274 01:05:14.560 --> 01:05:15.560 deal. 1275 01:05:15.560 --> 01:05:16.560 So, yeah. 1276 01:05:16.560 --> 01:05:20.080 Well, Eloise, I do want to just, I want to kind of put a pin right there in there for 1277 01:05:20.080 --> 01:05:27.840 you because there's a difference between God telling you you're beautiful and a man telling 1278 01:05:27.840 --> 01:05:28.840 you you're beautiful. 1279 01:05:28.840 --> 01:05:34.600 A man that bears the image of God, that carries the masculinity of God that's in flesh in 1280 01:05:34.600 --> 01:05:35.600 front of you. 1281 01:05:35.600 --> 01:05:42.000 The same way that God is your supplier for all things, but he also cannot be a husband 1282 01:05:42.000 --> 01:05:44.680 in a suit form, in a fleshly order. 1283 01:05:44.680 --> 01:05:45.960 He is our husband. 1284 01:05:45.960 --> 01:05:50.040 We are his bride in those ways, but he can't be in flesh. 1285 01:05:50.040 --> 01:05:55.560 And so when a man in living, in living color says to you, you're beautiful, it's going 1286 01:05:55.560 --> 01:05:58.960 to hit a different part of your human nature. 1287 01:05:58.960 --> 01:05:59.960 Okay. 1288 01:05:59.960 --> 01:06:00.960 Okay. 1289 01:06:00.960 --> 01:06:03.080 So, he's saying that you're beautiful. 1290 01:06:03.080 --> 01:06:06.760 I looked at you and I decided that you were good as well. 1291 01:06:06.760 --> 01:06:14.080 And so a man looked at you in admiration and that he said he approved you. 1292 01:06:14.080 --> 01:06:17.080 That's why when a person says things or rejects you, it hurts. 1293 01:06:17.080 --> 01:06:21.640 It goes the same way when they give approval or satisfaction. 1294 01:06:21.640 --> 01:06:24.360 We want to know that we're beautiful to somebody. 1295 01:06:24.360 --> 01:06:29.160 We want to know that we're desirable, or then you will feel undesirable. 1296 01:06:29.160 --> 01:06:30.160 Right? 1297 01:06:30.160 --> 01:06:31.160 Right. 1298 01:06:31.160 --> 01:06:32.160 Yeah. 1299 01:06:32.160 --> 01:06:34.920 And so I just want you to know, you don't have to, you don't have to, those two things 1300 01:06:34.920 --> 01:06:36.640 don't have to compete. 1301 01:06:36.640 --> 01:06:39.160 They don't have to be, they're not the same. 1302 01:06:39.160 --> 01:06:40.160 They're not the same. 1303 01:06:40.160 --> 01:06:41.800 They're not to be measured the same. 1304 01:06:41.800 --> 01:06:45.120 Each one has its place. 1305 01:06:45.120 --> 01:06:52.720 And so what happens is the Lord, if someone gives an opinion of you or someone gives an 1306 01:06:52.720 --> 01:06:59.160 opinion of you that is not accurate, goes against the identity that heaven has given 1307 01:06:59.160 --> 01:07:04.120 you, you trump it with what I know what my father has said about me. 1308 01:07:04.120 --> 01:07:05.120 Right. 1309 01:07:05.120 --> 01:07:06.120 Yeah. 1310 01:07:06.120 --> 01:07:11.000 The same way a child would be if they went to school and some teacher was saying something 1311 01:07:11.000 --> 01:07:15.040 about them opposite of what their parents had told them about them. 1312 01:07:15.040 --> 01:07:21.000 Their parents' identity of them trumps what somebody else would say about them. 1313 01:07:21.000 --> 01:07:22.560 It's like, that's not true. 1314 01:07:23.400 --> 01:07:28.000 My mama said, my daddy used to tell, I was a chunky little girl. 1315 01:07:28.000 --> 01:07:30.640 And my daddy would say, I would say, daddy, they call me fat. 1316 01:07:30.640 --> 01:07:33.360 He said, oh baby, you just tell them you're not fat, you fine. 1317 01:07:33.360 --> 01:07:34.360 He said, now say it. 1318 01:07:34.360 --> 01:07:35.360 I would say, I'm not fat, I'm fine. 1319 01:07:35.360 --> 01:07:36.360 And he would just like hold me on his head. 1320 01:07:36.360 --> 01:07:37.360 You tell them, baby. 1321 01:07:37.360 --> 01:07:38.360 I would say, I ain't fat, I'm fine. 1322 01:07:38.360 --> 01:07:39.360 He said, who said it? 1323 01:07:39.360 --> 01:07:40.360 He would take me around. 1324 01:07:40.360 --> 01:07:41.360 Who said it? 1325 01:07:41.360 --> 01:07:42.360 Tell them now. 1326 01:07:42.360 --> 01:07:43.360 You tell them. 1327 01:07:43.360 --> 01:07:44.360 It was my cousin now. 1328 01:07:44.360 --> 01:07:45.360 I'd just say, I ain't fat, I'm fine. 1329 01:07:45.360 --> 01:07:46.360 I'm not fat, I'm fine. 1330 01:07:46.360 --> 01:07:47.360 I'm not fat, I'm fine. 1331 01:07:47.360 --> 01:07:48.360 I'm not fat, I'm fine. 1332 01:07:48.360 --> 01:07:49.360 I'm not fat, I'm fine. 1333 01:07:52.560 --> 01:07:53.560 I love it. 1334 01:07:53.560 --> 01:07:54.560 I love it. 1335 01:07:54.560 --> 01:07:55.560 I love it. 1336 01:07:55.560 --> 01:07:56.560 Yeah. 1337 01:07:56.560 --> 01:08:06.840 Thanks for that clarifying kind of thing, because, you know, the guy knows the Lord 1338 01:08:06.840 --> 01:08:16.680 and he said some, he said, you know, because I said the thing about, you know, chemistry 1339 01:08:16.680 --> 01:08:21.359 is on the bus, but it's not camaraderie. 1340 01:08:21.359 --> 01:08:30.359 It's, what's the word she used, but it's compatibility. 1341 01:08:30.359 --> 01:08:31.920 It's what drives the bus. 1342 01:08:31.920 --> 01:08:32.920 Yeah. 1343 01:08:32.920 --> 01:08:35.160 That Jackie said. 1344 01:08:35.160 --> 01:08:40.680 And so I said that to him and although he said we had a great date and he thought I 1345 01:08:40.680 --> 01:08:47.840 was amazing and all that, he said, I don't think the camaraderie, you know, compatibility 1346 01:08:47.840 --> 01:08:50.000 is there. 1347 01:08:50.000 --> 01:08:59.800 And so, so I, you know, I totally agreed with that, but I didn't, I didn't say it that way. 1348 01:08:59.800 --> 01:09:08.200 I just said, you know, it was so great to meet a fellow, a person whose love language 1349 01:09:08.200 --> 01:09:11.479 is words of affirmation. 1350 01:09:11.479 --> 01:09:19.479 And so I think, you know, that really resonates in you and, and I like to think it does with 1351 01:09:19.479 --> 01:09:20.479 me too. 1352 01:09:20.479 --> 01:09:23.800 And so had a great date and you know, blah, blah, blah. 1353 01:09:23.800 --> 01:09:32.120 So but it was so good that the, you know, just the discovery, there's just a lot more 1354 01:09:32.120 --> 01:09:33.560 to discover. 1355 01:09:33.560 --> 01:09:35.520 And I'm in Dallas, Fort Worth. 1356 01:09:35.520 --> 01:09:36.520 You are too. 1357 01:09:36.520 --> 01:09:43.439 And I don't know, do you know about Singles and Fellowship on Facebook? 1358 01:09:43.439 --> 01:09:47.160 No, it's in Dallas. 1359 01:09:47.160 --> 01:09:49.279 It's Dallas, Fort Worth area. 1360 01:09:49.279 --> 01:09:59.920 So and I went to a dinner dance a couple of months ago, and there were 150 singles there. 1361 01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:02.280 Um, that's where I met Tim. 1362 01:10:03.840 --> 01:10:07.160 Everybody was up dancing, you know, they had a DJ and all that sort of stuff. 1363 01:10:07.160 --> 01:10:12.540 And there was a lot of line dances go in and all of a sudden out of nowhere, Kim 1364 01:10:12.540 --> 01:10:18.200 comes up and Tim comes up and we're dancing, you know, like partners and I'm 1365 01:10:18.200 --> 01:10:20.720 like, where in the heck did he come from? 1366 01:10:21.760 --> 01:10:25.420 And so then he looked me up on Facebook and that's how we connected. 1367 01:10:25.420 --> 01:10:36.660 But yeah, singles in fellowship, um, and, um, also active singles, DFW. 1368 01:10:37.700 --> 01:10:38.380 Oh, good. 1369 01:10:38.460 --> 01:10:38.980 Okay. 1370 01:10:39.460 --> 01:10:40.100 That's so good. 1371 01:10:40.220 --> 01:10:43.980 Thank you for sharing because it's so hopeful because among us ladies, we 1372 01:10:43.980 --> 01:10:47.220 are all different age groups and it's so easy for me. 1373 01:10:47.260 --> 01:10:48.500 I put some friends. 1374 01:10:48.500 --> 01:10:49.220 She's so beautiful. 1375 01:10:49.220 --> 01:10:50.980 She's like a black barber doll. 1376 01:10:51.460 --> 01:10:54.940 Um, I tell her all the time, you're so young. 1377 01:10:54.940 --> 01:10:56.980 And so my mind says she's so young. 1378 01:10:56.980 --> 01:10:58.700 She's not gonna have any problem with getting a husband. 1379 01:10:58.700 --> 01:11:00.820 They're going to scoop that little young thing right up. 1380 01:11:01.100 --> 01:11:04.020 And then I, I saw you, we can look at a woman. 1381 01:11:04.020 --> 01:11:05.900 I look at Jessica, she's just like a little girl. 1382 01:11:05.940 --> 01:11:09.300 And so in our mind we says, oh, they have so much going for them. 1383 01:11:09.300 --> 01:11:12.300 And you know, then you can look at your age when you're 30 and you're 40 and 1384 01:11:12.300 --> 01:11:15.980 you're 15, like, oh, I know they have way more options than I do. 1385 01:11:16.020 --> 01:11:22.060 And so when we get to share from all age, um, categories that we met somebody 1386 01:11:22.060 --> 01:11:25.740 that it actually was a good time at this time, it wasn't a scammer, you know, 1387 01:11:25.740 --> 01:11:29.820 like all the things get, it, it really builds faith in the room. 1388 01:11:30.660 --> 01:11:34.620 Sharing this really builds faith that you had a really good experience. 1389 01:11:34.620 --> 01:11:37.540 And so that's why I'm, thank you for sharing because it builds faith in me. 1390 01:11:37.820 --> 01:11:42.260 Um, somehow as women, we disqualify ourselves based on age and things of such 1391 01:11:42.260 --> 01:11:47.820 sort, but you can have somebody who's 25, who has the same singing the same blues. 1392 01:11:48.460 --> 01:11:48.980 Yeah. 1393 01:11:49.460 --> 01:11:49.980 Yeah. 1394 01:11:50.980 --> 01:11:52.900 Well, I got to say this one last thing. 1395 01:11:53.180 --> 01:11:56.140 I looked on Facebook and he had his year. 1396 01:11:56.140 --> 01:11:58.420 He was born the month and the year. 1397 01:11:58.420 --> 01:12:05.420 And I'm like, I need to go back and see, you know, so he's 58 and he looks 68, but 1398 01:12:05.420 --> 01:12:09.340 he's 58 and I'm in my seventies. 1399 01:12:12.620 --> 01:12:12.820 Yeah. 1400 01:12:14.700 --> 01:12:15.380 There you go. 1401 01:12:15.420 --> 01:12:16.540 What they call it? 1402 01:12:17.020 --> 01:12:18.100 Robbing the cradle. 1403 01:12:18.100 --> 01:12:18.580 Ain't you miss Eloise? 1404 01:12:18.580 --> 01:12:20.580 Robbing the cradle Eloise! 1405 01:12:20.580 --> 01:12:23.980 Yeah, almost six feet tall, robbing the cradle. 1406 01:12:23.980 --> 01:12:24.260 Right. 1407 01:12:25.700 --> 01:12:26.500 That's right. 1408 01:12:26.700 --> 01:12:28.100 Robbing the cradle. 1409 01:12:28.580 --> 01:12:28.980 Yeah. 1410 01:12:29.860 --> 01:12:30.940 You still got it. 1411 01:12:30.980 --> 01:12:32.020 You got to do like I be saying. 1412 01:12:32.020 --> 01:12:32.260 Yep. 1413 01:12:32.300 --> 01:12:33.220 I still got it. 1414 01:12:33.700 --> 01:12:34.220 You got it. 1415 01:12:34.260 --> 01:12:36.140 Yeah, I do. 1416 01:12:36.940 --> 01:12:37.460 I do. 1417 01:12:38.580 --> 01:12:40.260 Thank you for sharing this Eloise. 1418 01:12:40.980 --> 01:12:42.060 Thank you. 1419 01:12:42.140 --> 01:12:42.860 Love y'all. 1420 01:12:43.620 --> 01:12:44.220 Yeah. 1421 01:12:44.860 --> 01:12:49.540 Um, it was funny when she said he looks 60, he's 50, but he looks 60. 1422 01:12:49.540 --> 01:12:50.860 I said, God, wait. 1423 01:12:51.260 --> 01:12:53.580 Um, Laura, tell us more. 1424 01:12:55.500 --> 01:12:56.100 Okay. 1425 01:12:56.100 --> 01:12:58.100 So, um, yeah. 1426 01:12:58.220 --> 01:13:03.540 So my update is that I did speak to Wade on the phone last Wednesday after our 1427 01:13:03.540 --> 01:13:11.180 call last Tuesday, and, um, he, um, it was an interesting phone call cause he did 1428 01:13:11.220 --> 01:13:16.300 admit that he has romantic feelings towards me, which, um, like I've been 1429 01:13:16.300 --> 01:13:18.780 thinking about like since then or whatever. 1430 01:13:19.340 --> 01:13:26.580 Um, but I did comment how like, um, like I had gotten home from Taipei on the 1431 01:13:26.580 --> 01:13:29.060 Saturday before early in the morning. 1432 01:13:29.580 --> 01:13:32.260 And I was kind of disappointed that he hadn't called me or whatever. 1433 01:13:32.260 --> 01:13:38.020 And he said that, um, if he had known that I wanted him to call me that he would 1434 01:13:38.660 --> 01:13:43.820 cause he made some brief comment about how he felt that, um, like I was taking a 1435 01:13:43.820 --> 01:13:50.500 step back, but I think, um, cause like I had been out of the country for like 10 1436 01:13:50.500 --> 01:13:53.620 days and I think it was part of that. 1437 01:13:53.780 --> 01:13:58.420 And, um, cause we just texted while I was like in Taipei. 1438 01:13:58.500 --> 01:14:03.140 Um, and then, um, but maybe I did, I don't know. 1439 01:14:03.140 --> 01:14:06.380 Cause I was still like trying to evaluate like how I felt about him. 1440 01:14:06.820 --> 01:14:12.060 Cause I, I sensed even prior to him telling me that last Wednesday that he was more 1441 01:14:12.060 --> 01:14:13.700 into me than I was into him. 1442 01:14:14.260 --> 01:14:16.860 Um, but we did go on a final date on Saturday. 1443 01:14:16.860 --> 01:14:18.180 We spent like three hours together. 1444 01:14:18.180 --> 01:14:23.940 Cause I wanted to like really evaluate, like, and be with him in person to like 1445 01:14:23.940 --> 01:14:27.500 decide, like, am I like attracted to him? 1446 01:14:27.500 --> 01:14:29.620 Like in the way that he's interested in me. 1447 01:14:29.980 --> 01:14:32.700 And I just came to the conclusion that I'm not. 1448 01:14:32.860 --> 01:14:35.300 And, um, so I was super nervous. 1449 01:14:35.380 --> 01:14:42.020 Um, but, um, I did, um, text him after I got home from church on Sunday and asked 1450 01:14:42.020 --> 01:14:47.620 if I could call him and, um, and he responded shortly after that. 1451 01:14:47.620 --> 01:14:52.580 And so like I did, um, my heart was like pounding like a mile a minute or whatever. 1452 01:14:53.020 --> 01:14:58.020 And, um, I just said that like, um, I started the conversation with like, 1453 01:14:58.060 --> 01:14:59.180 that I had a good time. 1454 01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:04.960 day like yesterday and then I kind of like referenced how like he had commented having 1455 01:15:04.960 --> 01:15:09.200 romantic feelings towards me like earlier in the week and I had been like thinking about that for 1456 01:15:09.200 --> 01:15:19.120 the past few days but but I do not have romantic feelings towards him and he he did say that 1457 01:15:19.120 --> 01:15:28.480 initially that that stung but he did appreciate my honesty and yeah he and then I also said too 1458 01:15:28.480 --> 01:15:33.680 because being that we are part of like the same rotary club I said I'm not sure how you feel 1459 01:15:33.680 --> 01:15:40.960 about this but if we could like at least show each other like like grace or just some common courtesy 1460 01:15:40.960 --> 01:15:45.760 or like if you're open to it like just to like be friends or whatever because we are going to 1461 01:15:45.760 --> 01:15:50.800 continue to like see each other at meetings and different events and whatever and and also I 1462 01:15:50.800 --> 01:15:57.200 specifically wanted to call him on Sunday because we had like a celebration of our outgoing president 1463 01:15:57.200 --> 01:16:01.680 last night and so I didn't want to do it like there at the meeting or whatever I wanted to have 1464 01:16:01.680 --> 01:16:09.280 like it like discussed and so like he knew like prior to like getting to that event or whatever 1465 01:16:09.280 --> 01:16:15.200 but he he like he was very gracious and he he said yeah that he agreed um and he he even told 1466 01:16:15.200 --> 01:16:19.280 me that like in previous relationships that he's had like and broken up with people or whatever 1467 01:16:19.280 --> 01:16:24.240 that he he's never held any animosity towards other people and um and I thought it was very 1468 01:16:24.240 --> 01:16:30.160 sweet because he even said that um that he he will always hold me like in a special place in 1469 01:16:30.160 --> 01:16:35.760 his heart or whatever I thought that that was super cute or whatever so but um yeah um and then 1470 01:16:35.760 --> 01:16:44.960 um on a different note um I started Jackie's um um Modern Dating Sucks book club that the new 1471 01:16:44.960 --> 01:16:51.680 session started like not yesterday but a week ago Monday and um when she was having us put like our 1472 01:16:51.680 --> 01:16:59.360 city and state um there's a guy that um who um actually is in like the guys last year single 1473 01:16:59.360 --> 01:17:05.920 program or whatever who his name is John and he commented um like my same city in northern 1474 01:17:05.920 --> 01:17:11.280 California or whatever and um which is Brentwood but there's also one in Southern California and 1475 01:17:11.280 --> 01:17:16.400 so like I I responded to his comment in the chat and I was like oh are you in Southern California 1476 01:17:16.400 --> 01:17:22.960 and he said no that he is like just around the street from like um like off this street that's 1477 01:17:22.960 --> 01:17:29.440 like around the corner from my house or whatever and so um after so like a week ago Monday night I 1478 01:17:29.440 --> 01:17:34.240 was like thinking I'm like well should I Facebook like send him like a Facebook friend request I'm 1479 01:17:34.240 --> 01:17:40.080 like what what the heck I mean the worst he can say is no or whatever and he did accept and um 1480 01:17:40.880 --> 01:17:46.080 he and I we went on a walk this afternoon he's a really nice guy he's a widow and um 1481 01:17:47.040 --> 01:17:53.120 and then it was interesting because um I met a girlfriend last Tuesday and um and she's actually 1482 01:17:53.120 --> 01:17:58.080 met him in person or whatever and she said that um that like she's been at like dancing things 1483 01:17:58.080 --> 01:18:02.800 or whatever and um but yeah so he and I we like we walked this afternoon for like an hour in like 1484 01:18:02.800 --> 01:18:08.080 the blazing sun it was like 90 degrees it was like roasting or whatever but um but yeah I mean it was 1485 01:18:08.080 --> 01:18:13.600 a nice conversation and um yeah it was nice we didn't necessarily say at the end like that we're 1486 01:18:13.600 --> 01:18:17.120 gonna see each other again well he's he just commented he's like well I'll see you at book 1487 01:18:17.120 --> 01:18:23.520 club next week or whatever so anyhow so we'll see that's good Laura so let me I'm glad you met this 1488 01:18:23.520 --> 01:18:28.400 guy from Jackie's book club let me ask you this why did you end up not having romantic feelings 1489 01:18:28.400 --> 01:18:37.520 for the other guy what was your conclusion on that I just didn't find myself attracted to him 1490 01:18:37.520 --> 01:18:43.920 I like I mean which I mean that's why like I kind of drug it out for a long time because 1491 01:18:43.920 --> 01:18:51.360 like we had a lot of like common interests and he is also Christian and um and like he loves 1492 01:18:51.360 --> 01:18:58.800 animals and I have pets and and so like I really like was like yeah I was like there were so many 1493 01:18:58.800 --> 01:19:06.000 things that seemed like aligned that I was like but I just didn't feel like any spark at all 1494 01:19:06.000 --> 01:19:15.040 I was like um yeah I don't think you answered my question though why didn't you like him 1495 01:19:17.760 --> 01:19:23.760 um that's an important question for you to to kind of break down why didn't you like him 1496 01:19:25.040 --> 01:19:33.280 uh spark is a spark is uh can be very your trauma matches his trauma like a spark 1497 01:19:33.920 --> 01:19:41.360 doesn't mean a lot in the measurement of mature marriage mind and masculine okay and so I and one 1498 01:19:41.360 --> 01:19:46.960 of the things that this is not you got to talk to him I want you to figure out why you didn't 1499 01:19:46.960 --> 01:19:52.240 like him because you did have so much in line because it tells you something about you it 1500 01:19:52.240 --> 01:19:58.880 tells you about something that you value more than something else right like oh this is a big deal to 1501 01:19:58.880 --> 01:19:59.680 me 1502 01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:02.160 So now you have a different eye 1503 01:20:02.160 --> 01:20:04.000 when you start dating somebody else 1504 01:20:04.000 --> 01:20:06.660 because you do value that thing a lot. 1505 01:20:06.660 --> 01:20:09.040 And even if they're aligned with you in a lot of areas, 1506 01:20:09.040 --> 01:20:12.220 this one thing carries heavy weight for you. 1507 01:20:12.220 --> 01:20:13.320 Does that make sense? 1508 01:20:15.260 --> 01:20:18.560 So you're asking me to find out what that thing is? 1509 01:20:18.560 --> 01:20:21.360 Yeah, because from what it sounds like, 1510 01:20:21.360 --> 01:20:24.520 you spent talking about him, 1511 01:20:24.520 --> 01:20:26.400 saying he's not giving you enough communication 1512 01:20:26.400 --> 01:20:27.340 and you really like him. 1513 01:20:27.340 --> 01:20:28.960 This was the story you said. 1514 01:20:28.960 --> 01:20:31.060 And when we get together, we spend three hours together 1515 01:20:31.060 --> 01:20:33.420 and I really like him when we're together. 1516 01:20:33.420 --> 01:20:35.060 I wish that he would talk to me more. 1517 01:20:35.060 --> 01:20:36.740 This is your report of this man. 1518 01:20:37.640 --> 01:20:39.580 I'm trying to push him to talk to me more. 1519 01:20:39.580 --> 01:20:40.700 I like him. 1520 01:20:40.700 --> 01:20:42.500 I'm just not sure if he feels the same way 1521 01:20:42.500 --> 01:20:44.700 because we don't spend a lot of time talking. 1522 01:20:44.700 --> 01:20:45.540 But that's what you said. 1523 01:20:45.540 --> 01:20:47.420 And I said, well, hey, Laura, let's just go for it. 1524 01:20:47.420 --> 01:20:49.700 Let's just tell him you want more. 1525 01:20:49.700 --> 01:20:53.100 And then you tried that and then he said, okay. 1526 01:20:53.100 --> 01:20:55.260 And so then when he says he has romantic feelings for you, 1527 01:20:55.260 --> 01:20:56.660 you go on a date and you say, yeah, 1528 01:20:56.660 --> 01:20:58.420 I feel like I just didn't like him. 1529 01:20:59.860 --> 01:21:02.700 And so I want to know what you didn't like about him 1530 01:21:02.700 --> 01:21:04.260 or did something get triggered in you 1531 01:21:04.260 --> 01:21:05.860 when he said, I want to know you, 1532 01:21:05.860 --> 01:21:08.220 I do like you romantically. 1533 01:21:08.220 --> 01:21:10.260 Because while you were trying to come, 1534 01:21:10.260 --> 01:21:13.740 while you were tugging with why he's not talking to you more, 1535 01:21:13.740 --> 01:21:15.420 you wanted him. 1536 01:21:15.420 --> 01:21:17.140 And then when he says, I want you too, 1537 01:21:17.140 --> 01:21:18.740 you said I don't want you. 1538 01:21:20.580 --> 01:21:23.540 And so something's not adding up in that process. 1539 01:21:23.540 --> 01:21:28.540 And you didn't want him so much. 1540 01:21:29.720 --> 01:21:31.680 You actually had a conversation with that, did you? 1541 01:21:31.680 --> 01:21:33.320 I don't know if you shared it with Carla. 1542 01:21:33.320 --> 01:21:36.320 I don't know, but you had the conversation 1543 01:21:36.320 --> 01:21:38.680 and felt relieved and free from the person 1544 01:21:38.680 --> 01:21:40.320 you've been talking about trying to get you 1545 01:21:40.320 --> 01:21:42.980 to communicate with you more just days ago. 1546 01:21:47.320 --> 01:21:48.160 And so- 1547 01:21:48.160 --> 01:21:50.240 Well, I mean, it had been going on for like a while. 1548 01:21:50.240 --> 01:21:53.040 So it wasn't like just like- 1549 01:21:53.540 --> 01:21:55.140 But you allowed it. 1550 01:21:55.140 --> 01:21:57.900 Yeah, like I kind of tolerated it, yeah. 1551 01:21:57.900 --> 01:21:58.900 It speaks to me. 1552 01:21:58.900 --> 01:22:02.140 I'm wondering, how are you showing up? 1553 01:22:02.140 --> 01:22:04.700 Because this man said he felt like you didn't have interest. 1554 01:22:04.700 --> 01:22:07.700 So that means you're showing up a certain way as well. 1555 01:22:10.060 --> 01:22:13.620 And so the same space that you gave that he didn't perform, 1556 01:22:13.620 --> 01:22:15.940 it's also the same space in which you did not. 1557 01:22:15.940 --> 01:22:17.020 I don't want to use the word perform, 1558 01:22:17.020 --> 01:22:18.340 but for lack of better words, 1559 01:22:18.340 --> 01:22:20.900 it's the same space that you did nothing. 1560 01:22:20.900 --> 01:22:22.660 And so both of y'all sitting on the other side 1561 01:22:23.660 --> 01:22:25.280 doing nothing and saying, 1562 01:22:25.280 --> 01:22:28.080 I really liked them if they would just talk to me more. 1563 01:22:30.120 --> 01:22:32.460 Well, my whole thing was, is I didn't want to like hound him. 1564 01:22:32.460 --> 01:22:34.060 So I didn't want to like- 1565 01:22:34.060 --> 01:22:36.380 So let's deal with that mindset. 1566 01:22:36.380 --> 01:22:37.220 That you believe- 1567 01:22:37.220 --> 01:22:39.460 Feeling on him about like- 1568 01:22:39.460 --> 01:22:40.300 You believe that- 1569 01:22:40.300 --> 01:22:43.020 More communication and like- 1570 01:22:43.020 --> 01:22:45.220 The one you say, I'm hounding him, 1571 01:22:45.220 --> 01:22:50.220 that says, I believe that when I advocate for myself 1572 01:22:50.540 --> 01:22:54.380 and what I want, I'm a bother, I'm a burden. 1573 01:22:54.380 --> 01:22:56.060 And so then what you do is you sit back 1574 01:22:56.060 --> 01:22:58.580 and you put your seatbelt on all in the name of, 1575 01:22:58.580 --> 01:23:00.460 I'm just going to let him lead. 1576 01:23:00.460 --> 01:23:02.780 I'm just going to wait to see what he's going to do. 1577 01:23:03.660 --> 01:23:06.180 Now, we know that if you don't have any communication, 1578 01:23:06.180 --> 01:23:07.420 you're not getting connection. 1579 01:23:07.420 --> 01:23:08.860 And so you're not growing. 1580 01:23:09.800 --> 01:23:11.620 And from that time, 1581 01:23:11.620 --> 01:23:13.940 you'll go from trying to get more and more and more. 1582 01:23:13.940 --> 01:23:15.380 And then when it hits, it's like, forget it. 1583 01:23:15.380 --> 01:23:16.860 I lost interest anyway along the way 1584 01:23:16.860 --> 01:23:18.200 because you didn't talk to me enough. 1585 01:23:18.200 --> 01:23:19.480 But because you were hungry 1586 01:23:19.480 --> 01:23:21.120 trying to get something from him, 1587 01:23:21.120 --> 01:23:23.840 you didn't realize that whatever you were having for him, 1588 01:23:23.840 --> 01:23:26.740 it was dwindling away in the process. 1589 01:23:26.740 --> 01:23:29.080 Because it's not realistic to believe 1590 01:23:29.080 --> 01:23:32.520 that a pursuit will stay hot that long 1591 01:23:32.520 --> 01:23:35.260 without some reciprocity. 1592 01:23:35.260 --> 01:23:36.600 Does that make sense? 1593 01:23:36.600 --> 01:23:39.400 And so then when he finally says, oh yeah, I do like you. 1594 01:23:39.400 --> 01:23:41.720 You're like, oh yeah, I realize I don't even like you. 1595 01:23:41.720 --> 01:23:42.560 Well, you don't like him 1596 01:23:42.560 --> 01:23:45.040 because you spent three weeks hoping he will call you. 1597 01:23:46.040 --> 01:23:46.880 Well, yeah. 1598 01:23:46.880 --> 01:23:50.840 And then also he did say something in that conversation 1599 01:23:50.840 --> 01:23:54.460 when he like on Sunday or whatever is that, 1600 01:23:56.760 --> 01:24:00.080 which I don't know, really stood out to me 1601 01:24:00.080 --> 01:24:01.400 is that he said that, 1602 01:24:02.640 --> 01:24:04.760 I mean, and he's been divorced for like eight years too. 1603 01:24:04.760 --> 01:24:06.040 And his kids are grown. 1604 01:24:06.040 --> 01:24:09.400 I mean, his daughter is 25 and his son is 21. 1605 01:24:09.400 --> 01:24:11.640 So it's not like they're toddlers or anything. 1606 01:24:11.640 --> 01:24:16.640 But he did say that for him, 1607 01:24:16.840 --> 01:24:21.840 even now that his kids are like top priority or whatever. 1608 01:24:21.840 --> 01:24:22.760 So I was like, well, 1609 01:24:22.760 --> 01:24:25.560 even if I like was pursuing a relationship with him 1610 01:24:25.560 --> 01:24:30.120 or whatever, would I be like less important 1611 01:24:30.120 --> 01:24:31.360 than like his kids? 1612 01:24:33.820 --> 01:24:38.140 Well, Laura, like some things are to be processed through. 1613 01:24:38.140 --> 01:24:41.040 And so what you have to hear is that this man is a widow. 1614 01:24:41.040 --> 01:24:42.400 Is that right? 1615 01:24:42.400 --> 01:24:43.880 No, he's divorced. 1616 01:24:43.880 --> 01:24:44.960 He's divorced. 1617 01:24:44.960 --> 01:24:46.640 All he has is his kids. 1618 01:24:46.640 --> 01:24:48.560 There's not been another woman in the picture. 1619 01:24:48.560 --> 01:24:50.480 And so ideally what people would do is take 1620 01:24:50.480 --> 01:24:53.100 and make their children bigger than life. 1621 01:24:53.100 --> 01:24:56.160 And that's a very, very possible thing. 1622 01:24:56.160 --> 01:24:59.680 But, you know, as you proceeded with getting to know him, 1623 01:24:59.680 --> 01:25:00.520 that could have, 1624 01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:06.480 been a point of conversation, right? And so you don't have to be the most important thing in his 1625 01:25:06.480 --> 01:25:11.840 life. There's an ideal and a concept that we must be a man, sun, moon, and stars, but that is not 1626 01:25:11.840 --> 01:25:16.480 true. God should be his sun, moon, and stars, and God should be your sun, moon, and stars, 1627 01:25:16.480 --> 01:25:19.840 but he should honor you as wife. Right. 1628 01:25:20.800 --> 01:25:26.800 Okay. And so, and there are some people at his age, I've seen them walk away because their 1629 01:25:26.800 --> 01:25:34.160 children didn't want them married. That is a real thing. But what he said was worth conversating 1630 01:25:34.160 --> 01:25:40.560 as you got to know him. And so I want you to take some time to learn yourself by writing down, 1631 01:25:40.560 --> 01:25:46.560 why didn't you like him? Why did you let so much time go by without saying, I want more 1632 01:25:46.560 --> 01:25:51.520 communication? And if your answer is, I wanted him to leave, or like when you just said, I didn't 1633 01:25:51.520 --> 01:25:56.960 want to hound him. I want you to find out where that lie came from, that you hound a person, 1634 01:25:56.960 --> 01:26:01.600 because I'm going to share this with you. The discovery that God wants you to get from this 1635 01:26:01.600 --> 01:26:06.320 is going to help you with the next relationship, because you're going to be back in situations 1636 01:26:06.320 --> 01:26:15.280 where you have to open up your mouth and you have to say something. And we have to get that muscle 1637 01:26:15.280 --> 01:26:20.640 moving and that you're not just sitting by and just letting time go by and not being active in 1638 01:26:20.640 --> 01:26:25.360 the process. Also, if there's any systems or laws in you that believe, well, he's the man, 1639 01:26:25.360 --> 01:26:29.840 he should do this, he should leave, he should that, he should that. Let's get all that down on paper 1640 01:26:29.840 --> 01:26:35.440 so you can get to the bottom of that mindset. What someone should do, should do, should do, 1641 01:26:35.440 --> 01:26:39.760 should do, should do. These men are not your husbands. They are another person that you're 1642 01:26:39.760 --> 01:26:48.400 trying to get to know. And you have just as much seat at the table as they do. And no, 1643 01:26:48.400 --> 01:26:53.680 you didn't come to waste time. And these are the ways we don't waste time. By we open up our mouth 1644 01:26:53.680 --> 01:26:59.200 and we speak for ourselves and we know where we're going. And each one of you ladies on this line, 1645 01:26:59.200 --> 01:27:05.040 you're in this program, you know where you're going. You're going to join the Lord at the 1646 01:27:05.040 --> 01:27:12.960 altar with your love story. You have strategy, you have skills, you are equipped. You understand 1647 01:27:12.960 --> 01:27:17.680 boundaries and how to submit yourself to them. You know how to use your voice or you're learning how 1648 01:27:17.680 --> 01:27:22.160 to use your voice. You're learning how to do all these things. You have what you need to pull this 1649 01:27:22.160 --> 01:27:28.640 thing out. Okay. You are the, you are, you are, you know, one time Jackie posted on, on things. 1650 01:27:28.640 --> 01:27:35.360 She said, when God leads, we call shotgun. You know, like who gets, when, when the Lord is leading, 1651 01:27:35.360 --> 01:27:40.800 then I scream shotgun. That means you jump, jump on the passenger seat, right? God is driving, 1652 01:27:40.800 --> 01:27:44.640 but remember you're not on the back seat. You're also in the front. So you can see. 1653 01:27:45.280 --> 01:27:51.520 And you ladies have sight right now. When we're equipped, when we have guardrails and boundaries 1654 01:27:51.520 --> 01:27:56.800 that we submit ourselves to, consider yourself equipped. When you've learned the pacing of a 1655 01:27:56.800 --> 01:28:01.840 relationship, when you've learned how to use your words, when you've learned or you've ridded 1656 01:28:01.840 --> 01:28:05.760 yourself of entitlement, when you know how to show grace, when you know how to show up and be 1657 01:28:05.760 --> 01:28:10.000 vulnerable, when you know what you're looking for and where you're headed, when you understand 1658 01:28:10.560 --> 01:28:15.120 what masculinity is maturity in a marriage minded is listen, you ladies y'all are walking with the 1659 01:28:15.120 --> 01:28:21.680 total package. If anytime you believe where you were the prize, trust me, you are truly the prize 1660 01:28:21.680 --> 01:28:28.560 right now. You've gone through hard work. You now have space to hold for somebody else to show up 1661 01:28:28.560 --> 01:28:32.800 and be themselves and not judge them for who they are, but to realize like, Hey, they're not the 1662 01:28:33.760 --> 01:28:38.560 best for me and not put an all-out indictment against them because they don't show up the way 1663 01:28:38.560 --> 01:28:43.040 you want them to show up because your hopes that they were your husband. You don't have to do that 1664 01:28:43.040 --> 01:28:51.520 anymore. You don't have to blame them for being human. Right? So Laura, do that homework. Cause 1665 01:28:51.520 --> 01:29:00.240 it's going to be really good for you. Okay. Okay. All right. Well, thank you so much for 1666 01:29:00.960 --> 01:29:06.000 that. All right. Well, ladies, I'm going to say this last thing. And, um, and we talked about 1667 01:29:06.000 --> 01:29:09.760 curiosity and why it matters. And this something that is in the notes and I thought it was really 1668 01:29:09.760 --> 01:29:15.360 good. I don't want to skip it. If it says ladies, if God answer every dating question immediately, 1669 01:29:15.360 --> 01:29:21.680 we might find a husband. I like how that sounds, right? If he answered them immediately, 1670 01:29:21.680 --> 01:29:27.280 we might find a husband, but we miss becoming the woman he's inviting us to become. 1671 01:29:27.920 --> 01:29:32.320 And there is an invitation that sits before you. When you hear curiosity, you hear invitation, 1672 01:29:32.320 --> 01:29:36.640 they are in sync with each other. So we miss becoming the woman he's inviting us to become. 1673 01:29:36.640 --> 01:29:43.040 God isn't simply preparing us for marriage. He's preparing us for deeper intimacy with him. 1674 01:29:44.160 --> 01:29:50.480 Sometimes the greatest gift isn't getting the answer. Sometimes it's becoming the kind of woman 1675 01:29:51.440 --> 01:29:55.920 who knows how to walk with God, even when she doesn't have the answer. 1676 01:29:58.160 --> 01:29:59.760 And, uh, I think that's absolutely. 1677 01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:01.040 You look beautiful. 1678 01:30:01.040 --> 01:30:04.120 And I could definitely put my amen on that 1679 01:30:04.120 --> 01:30:06.720 because that is the truth. 1680 01:30:06.720 --> 01:30:11.880 It takes a level of courage to walk with God 1681 01:30:11.880 --> 01:30:17.440 and not know the answer, but walk with Him nevertheless. 1682 01:30:17.440 --> 01:30:19.240 And those of us who learn to do that, 1683 01:30:19.240 --> 01:30:22.040 great is our reward because God would never 1684 01:30:22.040 --> 01:30:25.480 allow us to be more faithful to Him than He is to us. 1685 01:30:25.480 --> 01:30:28.120 And that you can write down in the book. 1686 01:30:28.120 --> 01:30:29.960 You're not going to be more faithful to Him 1687 01:30:29.960 --> 01:30:30.960 than He is to you. 1688 01:30:30.960 --> 01:30:32.120 And He is faithful. 1689 01:30:32.120 --> 01:30:34.400 The Bible says, He who began a good work in me 1690 01:30:34.400 --> 01:30:36.280 is perfect to complete it. 1691 01:30:36.280 --> 01:30:39.600 The Bible says that God makes all things beautiful 1692 01:30:39.600 --> 01:30:42.000 in its time. 1693 01:30:42.000 --> 01:30:46.680 And so I'm going to say one more prayer of encouragement for us 1694 01:30:46.680 --> 01:30:48.320 and then I'm going to release us. 1695 01:30:48.320 --> 01:30:51.000 But I really want you to grab this prayer with your spirit 1696 01:30:51.000 --> 01:30:52.800 and hold fast to it. 1697 01:30:52.800 --> 01:30:55.340 I know it sounds like we hear the same things over and over, 1698 01:30:55.340 --> 01:30:57.960 but when you're on a journey to believe God for marriage, 1699 01:30:57.960 --> 01:31:02.280 you need to hear the same thing over and over and over again. 1700 01:31:02.280 --> 01:31:05.520 And so I release upon you the goodness of God. 1701 01:31:05.520 --> 01:31:07.840 May the Lord make His face shine upon you 1702 01:31:07.840 --> 01:31:11.160 and be gracious towards you and give you peace. 1703 01:31:11.160 --> 01:31:13.040 I believe that the Lord is working for you 1704 01:31:13.040 --> 01:31:15.520 and He's inviting you to come into a special place 1705 01:31:15.520 --> 01:31:18.360 of intimacy, that you may know your father, 1706 01:31:18.360 --> 01:31:21.160 that you are no longer living your life substituting 1707 01:31:21.160 --> 01:31:24.120 a husband in the place where your father wants to reside, 1708 01:31:24.120 --> 01:31:26.720 that you will no longer choose a husband that 1709 01:31:26.720 --> 01:31:29.960 can let you down, a person that is fickle when you can trust 1710 01:31:29.960 --> 01:31:33.800 a God who is unshakable, unmovable, unstoppable, 1711 01:31:33.800 --> 01:31:36.040 the one who created you and designed you 1712 01:31:36.040 --> 01:31:37.760 in His image and His likeness. 1713 01:31:37.760 --> 01:31:39.800 You bear the image of your father. 1714 01:31:39.800 --> 01:31:41.880 When I look at you, I say to myself, 1715 01:31:41.880 --> 01:31:44.200 oh, she looks just like her daddy. 1716 01:31:44.200 --> 01:31:46.120 Oh, Kaylin looks just like her daddy. 1717 01:31:46.120 --> 01:31:49.760 Oh, Kristen looks just like her daddy. 1718 01:31:49.760 --> 01:31:52.600 Oh, Rachel looks just like her daddy. 1719 01:31:52.600 --> 01:31:54.280 And so God, I thank you that I'm looking 1720 01:31:54.280 --> 01:31:56.920 at the daughters that look just like their father. 1721 01:31:56.920 --> 01:31:59.600 And I thank you, Lord God, because you are a good father. 1722 01:31:59.600 --> 01:32:02.200 And when we ask you for bread, you won't give us stone. 1723 01:32:02.200 --> 01:32:04.800 And when we ask you for a fish, you will not give us a snake. 1724 01:32:04.800 --> 01:32:06.200 I thank you, Lord God, that you're 1725 01:32:06.200 --> 01:32:08.840 greater than any earthly parent we've ever encountered 1726 01:32:08.840 --> 01:32:10.600 and that you're giving us good things 1727 01:32:10.600 --> 01:32:13.080 and that you're a rewarder of those who diligently seek you. 1728 01:32:13.080 --> 01:32:15.080 For you said in your word, if you come before me 1729 01:32:15.080 --> 01:32:17.400 and believe first that I am God, that I 1730 01:32:17.400 --> 01:32:19.880 will be a rewarder of those who diligently seek me. 1731 01:32:19.880 --> 01:32:21.320 And so God, I thank you that you're 1732 01:32:21.320 --> 01:32:23.320 doing what only you can do. 1733 01:32:23.320 --> 01:32:25.880 These ladies know that only you can bring them a husband. 1734 01:32:25.880 --> 01:32:27.200 They could go pick any man. 1735 01:32:27.200 --> 01:32:28.880 But it's not any man that they want. 1736 01:32:28.880 --> 01:32:32.240 They want a man who has the approval of their father. 1737 01:32:32.240 --> 01:32:35.080 So I thank you, Lord God, that as your sons arise 1738 01:32:35.080 --> 01:32:38.040 to take wives, that they will find these women resting 1739 01:32:38.040 --> 01:32:41.080 in you, fully equipped with their sword in their hand, 1740 01:32:41.080 --> 01:32:42.680 the life-giving source that they are. 1741 01:32:42.680 --> 01:32:43.840 They are your Ezra's. 1742 01:32:43.840 --> 01:32:45.220 And I speak to their spirits. 1743 01:32:45.220 --> 01:32:48.440 And I say, arise as the Ezra that God has designed you 1744 01:32:48.440 --> 01:32:51.960 to be because you are a special technology that God made you 1745 01:32:51.960 --> 01:32:55.280 to multiply, that there's a machine on the inside of you 1746 01:32:55.280 --> 01:32:57.160 that has caused the earth to be. 1747 01:32:57.160 --> 01:32:59.120 And I release you to be those things 1748 01:32:59.120 --> 01:33:00.680 in every sphere of influence. 1749 01:33:00.680 --> 01:33:03.360 Everywhere you go, everywhere your feet go, 1750 01:33:03.360 --> 01:33:05.800 you are God's life-giving source. 1751 01:33:05.800 --> 01:33:08.880 In Jesus' name, amen. 1752 01:33:08.880 --> 01:33:10.160 Amen. 1753 01:33:10.160 --> 01:33:12.520 Wow, thank you, Ebony. 1754 01:33:12.520 --> 01:33:14.280 Yeah, you are welcome, Ebony. 1755 01:33:14.280 --> 01:33:15.720 Thank you, Ebony. 1756 01:33:15.720 --> 01:33:19.080 All right, ladies, have a good night. 1757 01:33:19.080 --> 01:33:20.600 Bye. 1758 01:33:20.600 --> 01:33:21.480 Thank you. 1759 01:33:21.480 --> 01:33:23.800 That was a fire prayer. 1760 01:33:23.800 --> 01:33:25.560 You're welcome. 1761 01:33:25.560 --> 01:33:27.400 It was so good. 1762 01:33:27.400 --> 01:33:28.600 Woo-hoo. 1763 01:33:28.600 --> 01:33:29.960 Woo-hoo. 1764 01:33:29.960 --> 01:33:31.520 Great.