Hello, welcome. Hello, hello, hello. Hi, Debra. I love seeing you on camera. Already ready
to go. Anyone else want to join us on camera tonight? Would love for you to come join us
here on camera. Welcome back for those ladies joining us again this week. If you are new
tonight, you've never been here before, would love for you to put that in the chat so that
we can welcome you by name. And we're so glad to get started again tonight. We're going
to be diving into some really important content here in just a moment, but a couple of housekeeping
things, just things we like to cover from time to time. And for those that are new,
just to kind of set the framework really well, hopefully for you each week. One of the things
we talk about for all of those that come into the community is the reminder that whatever
your background is, whatever your role, your job, whatever your ministry background is,
whether it's counseling, advising, coaching, if you've been a big helper in ministry, we're
going to ask you to come out of alignment with that during this time as far as it's
not your job to do those things here. No one did anything wrong. That's leading me to say
this. This is just something we like to remind everybody because oftentimes what happens
is when you're here in the heart work, if that's something that's really ingrained in
you is to help other people, the enemy will use that to distract you from your own heart
work. He will try to get you to focus on helping other people accomplish their heart work and
their breakthroughs versus focusing on yourself. Now that doesn't mean you can't cheer people
on, you know, say, Hey, I'm praying for you. You know, that kind of thing. That's great.
Love on your sisters, but you don't need to fix anything that they put in there. The coaches
are going to coach them and we have designated coaches to do that. You are here just to receive.
And we like to just remind you all in that is that, you know, that, that stuff that they
talk about when you're on an airplane, you got to put the oxygen mask on yourself first
before you even put it on your kids or someone else, right? Why? Because if you don't, if
you don't put it on yourself first, most likely you're not going to be able to put it on your
kid, right? And help them. And so we want you to think about that as well. Um, and know
that if you're busy helping fixing and counseling others, even before you came in the heart
work again, that's going to be kind of a propensity within you. You're going to feel that urge
to like fix other people's problems. So I'm going to encourage you to, um, just come out
of alignment with that. Put yourself first. Some of you have never done that. This is
your time. And God brought you here for a purpose. And so we want you to lean into that
to the best of your ability. And so if you're struggling with doing that, with focusing
on your own heart work, you might get a call from a friend as soon as you joined heart
work and you're in the process and they'll be like having this major panic and drama
and all the things, y'all, this is legit. This happens all the time and it derails people.
Now, I'm not saying don't be there for your friends, but some of you need to just kind
of take, um, what do I want to say? Like an assessment of like how many people in need
reach out to you when they need, you know, they need something and it's drama filled
or it's whatever, you know, is the enemy sending people to you like that because you're a helper
and you're just very open to always helping everybody. Now, again, that might sound really
foreign and backwards because as Christians, we're called to help people, right? We are,
but God also calls us to have boundaries. Jesus himself had boundaries and we won't
go into that too far tonight, but I've coached people on that out of the scripture. And so
I want to encourage y'all, if Jesus can do it and if he did it, then we can do it. And
we have the capacity, you know, not only enabled by him to do it, but he's saying, Hey, take
time to rest, take time to heal. And it really matters. Welcome, Christina, brand new Jacqueline.
Welcome. First time live session. We're so glad that you're here with us. We do encourage
people to come on camera as much as possible. And so if y'all are able to come on camera,
that would be amazing. If you can't totally understand. Couple other quick housekeeping
Supernatural Saturdays under the replay tab in the app. It's titled, He Sees You. Y'all
is so good. Power packed. And then we want to encourage you to continue to engage in
the group. If you have questions about the heartwork content and material, if you're
not sure when we coach you on something, even during a live and you're just like, I don't
really know how to make this connection. Like I'm struggling or you have a praise report.
You all, if you're getting breakthrough, come into the app and tell us about that too. We
totally want to hear about your breakthrough just as much as we want to pray with you.
Coach you through the hard stuff because some of y'all are gonna share about your breakthrough and it's gonna encourage your other sisters
Who might be behind you on this journey?
All right, come in and share with us
You might say where do I share that if you go in the last year single app?
You're gonna click on that community tab and you can create a post and you're gonna put it right in there for us
All right on that note. I'm gonna pray we're gonna go right into the content for tonight father. Thank you
Thank you for who you are
Thank you for everything that you bring to us everything that you give us God
I thank you that you fill our cups tonight God where we have felt empty where we felt confused where there's been chaos
God where we have doubted your ability to
Enable us to walk into a healthy relationship God, whatever that looks like God
I pray that you would cleanse our hearts
Cleanse our minds God that you would help us to become more secure in our identity in Christ that we would know exactly
Lord more every day how you see us what you think about us and that you would silence every voice of the enemy
Every fire fiery dart that you would just cast it down that you would knock it out from ever hitting us God
Lord, I thank you that we would also be enabled to take an active role in guarding our hearts and our minds through Christ
Jesus that you would continue to teach us how to do that
Help us to have hearts that are soft and pliable to you and we ask you to bring anything out of darkness into light tonight
Yes, Lord
Give us revelation help us to hear what heaven is saying and help us to have the capacity to receive it in Jesus name
Amen, we are talking about identity tonight and in our vows
We're gonna be tracking through some really important stuff
Some of y'all have heard this before but I talk about this all of the time
Yes, I'm sometimes Deborah if you're on double it will create that echo for you
I think I saw two of you earlier. So that might be
Sometimes it can just be our speakers because I have that happen to
But what I was gonna say is that you know, we may not know
Our identity in Christ like we thought we did or we might not know like in the past
We can only heal to the level of the capacity that we're able to receive it
and so I try to talk about this a lot because
so many people get frustrated when they feel like they're not moving fast enough or
If there's something that they feel like they process before and it's coming back up
Some of you might hear like depending on how long you're in the heartwork phase for yourself. You might hear us coach on
Similar content every now and then because we go in it we go kind of in a cycle, right?
Well, we always encourage you to come with a teachable heart because even if you heard this teaching whenever we did it
I'm just gonna make this up. I think was like two months ago. It's approximately the cycle we're on right now
You're a different person now than you were two months ago
And you might have more capacity to receive even deeper revelation than you did two months ago
and so I love to encourage you all to just stay open and
Available to what God has for you tonight in a fresh way. So on that note, let's get you activated in the chat
I love when you guys are engaging with me. It makes a great experience. So I'm gonna have you fill in the blank
To a statement and I don't want you to hold anything back
I don't want you to write what you think I want you to say
I want you just to put in there literally what comes to your mind first, okay
Doesn't matter if it's good doesn't matter if it's bad whatever comes up in yours mine in your spirit first
That's what I want you to put in the chat
Here is the statement. I
am Oh
Joy's ahead of me over there. I look at her. She already knows what I'm gonna say. I am fill in the blank. I
am
fill in the blank
That's what we're doing right now
All right, I'm blessed beautiful grateful beautiful anyone else
I'm a champion. I'm stuck here. We're gonna work on that Sandra. You're making progress girl
I'm a child of God. I'm on the precipice of Revelation. I'm thankful
anyone else
grateful
They're coming in. I'm victorious
I'm a delight. I love it. So, let me ask you a question. I love that. So many of you are thinking positive things
In the last
Two days, I'll give you two days. I
Want you to fill in the blank with something negative that you heard I am
Fill in the blank with something negative that you heard the enemy say to you.
I am anxious. I am not worth it. Anyone else? I am unlovable.
I'm afraid. I am never able to enjoy anything. I am not good enough.
I'm not pretty enough for my own taste. I am gross.
I am behind. I am inadequate. I am unwanted by God.
You were always wanted, my friend. I am righteous enough.
Sandra, God dreamed you up. I hope you know that.
He dreamed you up and he was like, yes, I'm creating this awesome, amazing daughter.
I'm so excited about this. That's how I imagine it. I think that is how God thinks about us.
I think he's like, yeah, I got this to put into Sandra and this and this and she's amazing and
she's going to shine and you know, but we think we're not wanted by him. So Father, I pray that
you would just repair that breach. Yes, Lord, that you would repair that breach where that lie
came in, help her to see how much you wanted her. Not just the day you created her, but always.
Yeah, I know. I know it's not true, but it is what you heard. And so we want to get to the core.
That's why I wanted you all to put these in here. Not that I want you to meditate on the negative
things. Rosie, I'm put in there. It's too late, but I want you to see, you know, remember the
enemy tries to prowl around like a roaring lion seeking those who he can devour. He's prowling
around like a lion. He's not a lion because there's a lion of the tribe of Judah. The enemy
is always trying to, you know, counterfeit God and Christ and the Holy Spirit. So his counterfeit
is prowling around like he's a lion, like he has authority, but he doesn't. He doesn't have
authority, you all. God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit do, and they gave it to us to walk it out on the
earth. But the reality is that so many of us hear the lies and we believe the lies more than we
believe the truth and the good things. So I wanted you to kind of see how those kind of the counter
contradictions that are coming up. You guys are hearing a lot of good stuff, which is great.
And I think a lot of us do think those things, but sometimes it's up here in our heads, but it's
not down in our heart. So when the lies come in, we tend to believe those more. It's just easier.
It tends to be easier. Why? Because there's a wound or wounds, multiple, down on the inside
that are causing us to believe what's not true. All right, let's keep moving. So
what thoughts, you know, as we put in the chat, you might have even more than that. I only asked
you to put one in there, but I want you to think about what thoughts, and if you don't know, this
is a great question to ask the Lord. What thoughts are you currently aligning with that are not God's
truth over you and for you? So y'all can take the ones that you started here with. Like, I'm even
going to, the one that keeps stating out to me is, Sarah V said, gross. She was filling in the blank.
I'm gross. Well, let's, let's get to the core of that, Sarah V, because you're not gross.
I don't even have to meet you to tell you that. Like, I know that God doesn't create anything
that's a mistake or messed up. He says in Psalm 139 that we're fearfully and wonderfully made,
y'all. He didn't forget anything. He didn't mess anything up. We might not feel like we're living
up to the fullness of the potential that we have in our physical body or whatever that means,
but we want to look into where's that coming from for us. What's led us to believe something
like that about ourselves? All right, so where are you, what thoughts are you currently aligning
with that are not God's truth over you and for you? And so we want to build a little bit on last
week. If you didn't hear the session last week, that's totally fine. I'm going to give you a really
brief catch-up, very brief catch-up. It was about Adam and Eve, and when they had sinned, they hid,
and when they were hiding in the garden, God came looking for them. Y'all, here's, here's the kicker.
Do you think that God did not know where they were? Let's just think about this for a sec.
God, who knows all things, calls out to them, where are you?
Why would he do that if he already knew?
Well, I think it's because he calls us to respond to him, and he wants us to acknowledge
where we are.
Ooh, I feel the Holy Spirit on that.
He wants us to acknowledge where we are.
Where are you, son and daughter, where I never intended you to be?
What are you partnering with that is not your truth?
It's not your identity.
So he calls out to them, where are you?
And Adam responds, they were hiding, you know, Adam and God are having this conversation,
and then God says to him, who told you that you were naked?
You can read it.
It's in Genesis chapter three.
So this is kind of what I build this whole identity thing on.
Who or what are you currently getting your identity from?
What have you eaten, if you will, like they ate of the fruit of the knowledge of good
and evil in the garden, and that opened their eyes to their nakedness, and then they felt
shame for the first time ever in the Bible.
That's why they hid.
That's why they covered themselves up.
So what have we eaten?
What have we taken in through trauma?
And hey, here's the thing.
It doesn't even have to always be trauma that we personally experienced.
It can be trauma that we witnessed.
My mom, my oldest brother, and my sister were hit by a drunk driver when I was in the fourth
grade, you all.
It was really bad.
Thankfully, my mom had some scratches, not too bad.
My older brother was in a coma for a long time.
My sister had a brain injury, had to have brain surgery.
I'm in fourth grade.
I think I was like eight years old.
It was very scary to know my sister had brain surgery, and when we went to see her, she
had all these bandages, you know, and it didn't end there.
When my brother came out of the coma, he had to literally learn how to do everything again.
They sent him to a rehab in another city, like an hour and a half from where we lived,
maybe longer.
My mom had to go back and forth all the time.
This is my mom, who's a single mom, working a full-time job, having to now drive back
and forth for my brother to see him in rehab.
And sometimes my aunt and uncle lived in that city, so my mom would go there and stay,
and we would have to stay with my grandparents, and so my mom was gone a lot.
I was the youngest of four.
Again, I was eight or nine.
I think I was eight years old when that was going on.
So while I didn't want to believe the lie that my mom, that I mattered less than other
people, I believed that lie because my mom was gone a lot.
It was really hard.
And so that was something I witnessed.
That's just one example.
And so I took in lies, and it wasn't something, it's not like as a kid, I'm like, oh, I'm
just going to believe that lie.
I'm going to believe that lie.
You know, it's like this is, as kids, we don't have the ability to like even ward, like hold
those things off.
And so my subconscious took that in, and I believed a lot of lies during that time.
And there were a lot of bad things that happened, you know, in addition to that, and there was
hard stuff.
One lie built on top of another, on top of another.
You guys can see how that works, right?
And so it wasn't until way later in my mid-twenties that I was unpacking this stuff for the first
time.
It wasn't until I started doing the hard work and coaching the hard work that I saw the
depth of how much that accident impacted me.
Again, we don't know what we don't know until we know it.
So maybe for you, it's something totally different.
I just want you to be in discovery mode.
Who or what are you currently getting your identity from?
For a long time, I was getting part of my identity from the lie that I didn't matter.
I was abandoned, because that's how it felt.
What did people say to you that is not true?
It is not from heaven.
It does not sound like God the Father.
And you might be like, well, I don't know what God sounds like.
I don't even know what God says.
All you have to do is go and read in the Word, you all.
Read the words of Jesus, and you are going to learn who the Father is.
You're going to learn love.
You're going to see how He describes the Father, and it will help you on your journey as well.
Who does the enemy say that you are?
Remember that the enemy uses people to say stuff to us, but the enemy will also directly
try to onslaught our minds sometimes with stuff.
And then who does God say that you are?
Last week, we started working on the silhouettes, and some of you all...
Had already done those, I asked you to revisit those.
Why did we do that before we got to this week?
Well, because hopefully, as you started to ask God,
who do you say that I am?
And you're hearing his responses,
and you're filtering out the negative stuff,
and you're asking him to replace the negative with the truth.
Now, here we are.
Hopefully, this week, you're having a higher level of discernment
to start to decipher, okay, this is the enemy.
This isn't even my own thought that I'm having right now.
This is the enemy, and this is God's voice.
This is what God is saying about me.
And so what this starts to do is it starts to cause us
to understand what our root system looks like, right?
Because if we start to realize these incidents
and these traumas that we've been through,
the things that we've witnessed, experienced,
the things that we've ourselves done that also created trauma.
Anyone else in that camp?
I chose unhealthy people to date
and to be in long relationships with,
and it was really, really bad, right?
So because of my choices,
I also experienced trauma at the hands of those people.
So I had to really look at my root system
and where my root system
and the counterfeit identities were leading me.
Where are you getting your nutrients from?
Like, what's down in your soil?
Because remember, we're looking at the soil of our hearts.
Remember, everything that goes into our hearts is reproduced.
Yeah, Sandra, one of the most freeing things
is when we actually pay attention to our thought life.
We're gonna talk about that.
It's gonna be part of the activation this week.
When we really slow down, even myself,
when I like, wait a minute.
That's not my thought.
That's someone else's thought.
That's the enemy's thought.
You know, we start to decipher those things.
We start to actually realize
how many times we've believed those lies
and lived into them too.
But we don't have to do that anymore.
That's the amazing thing.
We get to, you know, as the Bible says,
take every thought captive
and cast it down and make it open.
And cast it down and make it obedient to Jesus Christ,
to the truth, to the blood,
to the freedom that he died to give us.
But before we can get there,
before we can take those thoughts captive,
we have to recognize them, right?
So what's going on in the soil of your heart?
What's feeding your heart?
Luke 6 45 says in the NLT version,
a good person produces good things
from the treasury of a good heart.
And an evil person produces evil things
from the treasury of an evil heart.
What you say or think flows from what is in your heart.
So not only do we want to pay attention
to what we're thinking,
we want to pay attention to what we're saying.
Remember out of the overflow of the heart,
the mouth speaks.
That's what that verse says.
So what is your mouth telling you
about what you really believe
about your life and your situations?
What is your mind telling you and revealing to you?
Oh man, I'm saying I have faith in this area.
I'm saying God loves me,
but man, my mind and my mouth are saying,
they're telling a different story.
And again, I think we can actually like,
I know God loves me.
I think we can think that at the same time.
Y'all, it's like those little,
you know, good angel and the devil.
You know, you have a good thought
and then like you have a bad thought.
Anyone else have things concurrently happening
at the same time?
Because I've had that happen.
It's like, how are these thoughts,
you know, so different?
Well, again, one is the voice of God
and his love and his encouragement.
The positive thoughts that you've already built
because of success and healing and good things.
Those neuropathways are in your brain.
Well, so are the unhealthy neuropathways
that have been created through trauma and pain.
And God wants to help us rewrite that story.
Remember that we will be transformed
by the renewing of our mind,
that all old things will pass away.
Behold, everything will become new
while the mind and the heart are connected.
So if my soil down in here isn't good
and I'm feeding off of lies and bad stuff
that the enemy or other people have said to me,
well, that's feeding my brain too
because they're linked.
So if you have been battling over and over,
and again, I'm not saying,
the enemy will assault your mind at times, y'all.
Okay, that's just,
it's just going to happen at some point.
We don't have to be afraid of it.
We just have to understand it.
But the reality is,
is we need to understand, too, if you're going around the same mountain over and over and over,
and it's impacting you, like you have the same bad thoughts, the same bad thoughts about yourself,
and you're like, how do I break free from this? We got to figure out where did it start in your
heart? Do you see how that works? All right, cool. All right, we're gonna keep going.
So are your roots giving you life or causing you to decay? Whether that's a slow decay or a quick
one. Are your roots causing you to expect the worst while trying to have hope for the best?
Are your roots causing you to partner with doubt and unbelief?
So you might be like, well, how do I even tell what's in my roots? Well, we look at the fruit
in our lives. We look at, like, again, what's coming out of our mouths, and what are the
actions? What are we doing? What is the story of our lives? What kind of story is our life telling?
And again, this isn't to shame you. The reality is, is we're coming out of shame and guilt and
condemnation. Those are from the enemy. But when we look at our life story, when we look at where
we have these hurts, habits, and hang-ups, where we keep getting stuck, or we really struggle to
believe in something good happening, and not only just believing it, but actually following through
to do it, that's a signal right away to us, okay? We want to look at the fruit that's in our hearts.
So I'm going to talk briefly. You guys can go ahead and read in your heartwork books a little
bit. I'm just going to have you all do it versus reading, taking the time. I want to have more
coaching time tonight. So on pages 80 and 81, oh shoot, they might be a little different for you
all. Let me, let me tell you what chapter it's in. And it's okay if you just started in the heartwork.
You can read these couple pages. But it's going to be in chapter six, and it's the area
where it starts with, what you believe about yourself, you become. Maybe I will read a little,
little tidbits of this. What you believe about yourself, you become.
So I want you to think about the wrong thoughts that are no longer just staying in your heart.
They're multiplying like little bunnies in your fertile heart womb. And it's leading you,
again, it's spilling out through the actions. You're becoming those things.
So you want to look at the vicious cycle. So here's the process, okay? I'm going to walk you
through it real quick. This again is in chapter six. It's in that same area, and it says the
process. Number one, first we believe the lie, okay? This is an example. The lie tonight,
and this is what's in the book, says I'm abandoned.
Next, what happens is we speak the lie. Nobody is ever there for me. And y'all,
we can think the lie and speak the lie, and they have the same effect.
But when we start speaking stuff out of our mouths, we have power in the mouth.
Number three, in this process, finally, we become the lie. We start having behavior
toward isolation, and withdrawal from others creates a false sense of abandonment.
Debra, that reminded me of your post today. I think I started responding to you on some of
that stuff we were talking back and forth about. I just want to draw attention. That makes me
want to take some time on this, okay? Number three, there again, it says, finally, we become
the lie. Behavior toward isolation and withdrawal from others creates a false sense of abandonment.
Like, we believe the lie. They don't want us. They don't want to hang out with us. They're
pulling back from us. When actually, I'm not saying it's never them pulling away, but a lot
of the time, it's us pulling away. In some ways, it's us pulling away. And I'm not saying it's
it's us pulling away. In some way, shape, or form. So, you know, it's not about an easy fix,
ladies, okay? This is about, like, you can't just make yourself stop believing a lie.
You have to heal in your heart where the lie originated. You have to get to the root of the
matter. This isn't something you're digging for. This is something, again, you're praying,
you're asking the Lord to reveal things for healing, bringing things out of the darkness
into the light so that you can be set free. You're trusting his timing in the revealing that's
happening as well. All right? So, you take your time and you keep walking one step at a time.
We're going to keep going. It also talks about the fruit, again, and I'll give you guys this
other page. Let's see what chapter this one's in. Chapter 8. So, 6 and 8 have some verbiage
about this fruit stuff you're wanting to pay attention to.
Again, I have the actual hard copy book, so it's just a little different page-wise from
yours.
But the part I want to point out is we're not going to be able to replace the events
that happened in our lives.
We can't go back and change what happened.
We can't change what we did.
We can't change what other people did to us.
But what we can replace is the lies we believed as a result of the trauma that we went through.
And most importantly, the vows that we made internally as a result of them.
So when we experience hurts in life that make us sad, when we're sad, that's when anger
comes in.
Anger is always the defender, you all.
It always shows up when the wounded and vulnerable parts of our hearts feel threatened.
So we talk about it in this community as anger is hurt's bodyguard.
So when anger is around, we tend to feel strong.
We start to make inner vows.
Nobody is ever going to hurt me again.
I don't care about anybody.
I can't trust anybody.
I will never turn out like my mother.
I'm never going to be like my father.
I won't be made a fool anymore.
Nobody's ever going to tell me what to do.
I can't tell anybody about this because if I did, they would never love me or accept
me, fill in the blank.
I will be perfect from now on so nobody can reject me.
We make these decisions to harden our hearts subconsciously and in the moment it makes
sense.
We think if we make these vows and we build up these walls around our hearts that we can
keep all of the bad things out.
And unfortunately, walls are good at keeping things out, but they are not good at letting
things in.
To stop surviving and start thriving, we're going to have to let a lot of stuff in, okay?
Love is a risk, you all, and it's a risk worth taking.
As the lies in their corresponding vows are emerging to the surface, ladies, we have to
replace them with the greater truth of God's story, of his word, what he speaks over you.
And so we're going to talk briefly about inner vows.
Inner vow, what it is, is a determination set in your mind and heart to protect yourself
from pain.
Again, this isn't necessarily even something you're doing intentionally, it's something
subconsciously that can kick in, but some of us actually make choices to partner with this stuff.
Romans 12, 2 says, do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing
of your mind.
Then you will be able to test what God's will is, his good, perfect, and pleasing will.
Are you slowing down enough in the day-to-day of your life to recognize the things that
you're partnering with that are not from heaven?
They're not truth.
I already went through a lot of inner vows, here are a couple other ones.
I'll never date or marry a Larry or somebody with a certain ethnicity, or a guy with a
certain job.
We make these inner vows.
I'm never going to let my guard down ever again.
I don't know if I already said that one.
I'll never let anyone hurt me ever again.
And when we make those vows, ladies, guess what?
When we say I'm never going to let anyone hurt me ever again, we're actually saying
I'm not willing to risk getting hurt and love just isn't worth it.
Love isn't worth the risk.
It's not worth it.
Subconsciously we're telling ourselves that.
We just don't realize that's what we're doing.
And so if you have been someone where you have just believed you're better off by yourself,
I have so many ladies in this community that say it's just easier to be single.
People that claim over and over and over again that they want to be married.
Well, those contradict each other, don't they?
They do.
So we got to get to the root of when did we partner with the lie the first time?
It's just easier for me to be single.
It's just easier for me to not risk.
Yes, Lord.
Ooh, I felt that.
It's just easier for me to not risk my heart.
It's too painful to get hurt by people.
Yeah, it is double-mindedness too, Debra.
And again, we can't help it sometimes.
God understands.
He loves us and he's calling out to us to bring.
is out of the place of bondage and into freedom and truth.
Yeah, I see you Sandra. I can tell God's meeting you right where you're at.
He's really sorry for the people who have let you down.
But just know not everybody's like that. There's some people that can love really good
and really well. Not perfectly, because there's no one perfect. Jesus is the only one.
But man, if we will just... I can remember when I was first dating Brian, the feeling of like,
I'm scared. I'm a little scared to date because I really do like him.
And now I'm faced with, well, what if I really start to keep liking him more and more and more?
And what if he changes his mind about me? That's how I really felt at one point.
What if he changes his mind and I'm just not what he wants?
Y'all, I had to get past that and say, you know what? It's worth the risk. Because no matter what,
I was growing and I was healing and I was experiencing something really great with him.
And I had to trust that God and his goodness would lead me no matter what through,
if it turned out amazing or if we didn't end up together.
And that's where we are supernaturally surrendering all of it.
All right. Do you ever make statements like always or never? I'm going to give you some examples.
They always do that. Like, men always do that. Men always only want to talk about sex.
All men want is always about sex. Y'all, I'm not saying it's not true with some men,
but that is not how all men are. I know some of you, it's really hard to believe that
because you have not had good experiences. I didn't either.
But man, when you start dating someone that actually cares about covenant as much as you do
and they value you as a person more than what your body can do for them, it's a game changer.
But I had to believe there were men out there like that first. Because if I keep part, if I,
if I would have kept partnering with, there's no good men. There's no good men. There's no
everything you all listen. If we're saying that on repeat, guess what? Guess what kind of guys
are going to get attracted to us? No good men, no good men, no good men. One right after the other.
Now I still, even in the midst of finding Ryan, there were other men that were not healthy. I just
recognized the red flags a lot quicker. And I didn't keep talking to those people. I blessed
them and moved on. Yeah. Well, Debra, God's going to teach you how to not just fantasize about a
man like that. You're going to start to meet men like that. But again, we got to get our heart
right. We have to believe that it's not just, and here's the thing for you on that. There,
there's a shift that has to happen for all of us where we don't just believe it's for everybody
else. And it's not for us. So it's okay. It's good to believe and hope for that person,
but we want to make sure we don't stay in fantasy land because that's us kind of checking out still.
Does that make sense? But I understood what you were saying. You know, you're like, yeah,
I want that guy, but here let's shift instead of, I want that guy. I want that guy. God, thank you
that you're going to send me a spirit mate that honors my body. That loves me. That lives for you.
It's a shift. It's a shift that happens on the inside. Here's some other ones. I always get
passed over. And if y'all believe in that, you feel like, you know, you're waiting in line and
you're just waiting and waiting and waiting. And everybody just keeps going to the front
of the line in front of you. God just keeps taking everybody else to the front of the line.
Some of you have felt that, but you haven't been able to put words to it, but I'm telling you
there's a lie where you actually believe God is passing you over.
And so one of the things I love to do is encourage you all to really pray and envision yourself in
that line. And then I want you to ask Jesus where he's at in the line. And then I want you to ask
him to help you understand that you're always at the front of the line and that the line is
actually different than how you've been perceiving it. See, we perceive it as the line, there's
somebody in the front and then buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, like it goes back. But in God,
This world, y'all guess what?
We're side by side.
We're all first.
We're all first, ladies.
Can you get it in your spirit?
We're all first.
We were at Austin back in 2021.
We were out for this thing.
Jackie was activating us.
We were all wearing white.
We had these bride sashes on.
I was totally embarrassed to get out of the car.
You all, I was.
Cause I was a bride before and it didn't work.
And so I'm like, oh man, I gotta really face this now.
Do I really believe I'm a bride?
Cause I'm about to get out of this car
with this bride sash on.
That was step one.
Well, we had a big group of us.
There were like 30 of us.
And some of the people, the restaurant place
we were going to, there's like bars around there,
stuff too.
So there was these people that had been drinking.
This one guy, I'll never forget.
He walks up and he's like, you're a bride.
And then he's like, wait, you're a bride.
And he was like so confused.
Cause there was like a ton of us.
We were all brides, right?
And so we, like some of us started laughing
and I was like, I'm a bride.
You're a bride.
She's a bride.
It just kind of broke out in the spirit.
Like we all started receiving it.
Can I tell you that almost everyone
from that trip is married?
Something divine happened on that.
But I want to tell you, you don't have to be
on that trip to receive what we received there.
Den, do you believe that you're side by side
with your sisters in God's heart?
He's not like, oh, Karina, get to the back of the line.
It's not your time yet.
Now he might be saying, hey, Karina, or Alice, or Paige.
Like, I have some stuff I need you to process first
because I want you to get my best.
Not just good, not just, meh, it's good enough.
No, I want you to have my best.
So I need to heal some stuff in you
so you can actually receive it.
That's what he does.
Yeah, I mean, y'all, I feel like this is a huge revelation.
I hope you're letting it sink in.
Side by side.
So you can celebrate your sister's wins
because you know what?
Her getting her win doesn't mean you don't get yours
unless you believe it does.
Her being beautiful doesn't make you not beautiful.
Do you believe it?
Here's another one.
Men never come through for me.
Remember, always or never?
These are signaling to you inner vows at work in your heart.
Men never come through for me.
Maybe for you is I call people for help
and nobody ever helps me.
It's kind of the same kind of thing, always, never.
Nobody ever helps me.
Now, I'm not saying those things haven't been true
at some point in your life.
Maybe they have.
But are you ready to believe that God can change that?
Men never pick heavier women.
We've had women literally tell us this.
You all, we have brides of all shapes and sizes, ages.
I'm telling you.
Now, God wants you to be healthy.
He wants you to care about your body.
So I'm not trying to encourage people to just be like,
I can eat whatever I want and the guy just has to love me.
No, we want guys to look good, don't we?
Don't we, ladies?
All right, well then we have to do the work too, okay?
All right, we're gonna leave that one there for tonight,
but it's true.
Some of us are like, I want the guy
just to like me how I am.
We literally have ladies in this group,
in this community that tell us that.
But then they're like, I want my guy to be super fit
and I want him to work out and I want him to,
I'm like, wait a minute.
Hold up here, that doesn't go together.
Y'all, that doesn't go, get this.
Women get mad when men that go work out at gyms
want to meet a woman that's fit.
Why?
Why are we getting mad at that?
That's his lifestyle.
It's actually smart for him to partner with someone
that has the same lifestyle, right?
This has to be for somebody
because I had no plans for any of this.
Some of y'all are getting really mad at men
in your heart over all kinds of stuff.
And God is asking you to come out of alignment
with it tonight.
Okay, let's keep going.
I've never seen or noticed,
that's the last one I have for you on that.
I've never seen.
I'm never.
notice. I'm always overlooked. Let's show up with a different heart. God, thank you so much for
highlighting me to my spirit mate and to healthy friends. God, thank you so much for giving me
favor with God and man when I'm interviewing. Y'all, this isn't just about the spirit mate.
The spirit mate's the cherry on top. Where else do you need healing? God wants to give you
everything that you need in this season. He is for you. So here is the breakout question.
What inner vow or intrusive negative thought have you been partnering with that you're going to
come out of alignment with tonight? What inner vow or intrusive negative thought have you been
partnering with? And you're going to say, okay, I'm coming out of agreement with this tonight.
And if you don't know yet, it's okay. You can say that in the group, but don't just default to that.
Try to talk about it a little bit. You might even say, I don't really know for sure,
but this is the memory or this is the thought that's coming up in my spirit. Y'all, it's okay
to do that kind of stuff because some of us, it is hard to identify it right out of the gate.
All right. Okay. So let me get these breakout rooms ready. This is going to be really good.
If you, if you embrace this and the breakouts tonight and you really lean into it. Okay.
I'm excited for y'all. Let's do, um,
if I have two, four, six,
I wish I could do like six and a half minutes, seven minutes. Sometimes it feels too long.
All right. Six minutes. If there's three of you in a room, you have two minutes each. If there's
two of you, I have three minutes each short, brief, and powerful. Be very aware of other
people in the room. Please don't just keep talking and not give them a chance. Okay.
All right, ladies, go ahead and click those to join as quick as you can so that you have more
Right. As soon as we get people situated for those that aren't able to join the breakout,
I will pray as well as for those on replay. All right. Let's move her here.
I think I got everyone.
All right, Lord. Thank you so much. Oh, I have one more. Sorry, ladies.
Thank you, Lord, so much for everything you're doing in our hearts and our lives.
God, I thank you for the revealings for healing that are happening.
Yes, Lord. Thank you for fresh grace on grace upon grace to help us
be transformed on from the inside out. Lord, I thank you that you would help us to identify
inner vows that we've made always and never statements or anything similar to that, that
these limiting belief systems. Oh, Sarah. Yes. You're in a group. You were already in one.
It just it showed that you didn't join the room.
Let me see if I still have to only to see now I have three people in every room.
All right. I'll just put you in a room. It might be really tight for everybody to share.
Go ahead. That should be up on your screen to join that room.
Hopefully you can see that. All right.
Father, I pray that you would help that group navigate that really well,
that they have four people in the group. But Lord, I thank you that you would just continue
as I was praying that you would help us to recognize the intrusive thoughts,
limiting belief systems, places where we've put ourself in timeout. We have chosen to not move
forward, whether that's in the heart or in the mind. We have chosen to not move forward.
Whether that's in the heartwork, whether that's in an area in our lives, God, and we have just
parked ourselves like believing the lie that we're not ready, that we're not good enough,
that we're not healed enough, whatever that is. Lord, I thank you that we'll come out of
alignment with those thoughts and we'll come into alignment with the truth of heaven tonight over us.
Ephesians 4, 27 in the Amplified Version says this. Do not give the place to the enemy. Don't
give him legal access to your life and your family. And do not give the devil an opportunity
to lead you into sin by holding a grudge or nurturing anger or harboring resentment or
cultivating bitterness. So Lord, we just thank you that you would help us to just ask you to
remove the bitter root in our hearts where we have any resentment, unforgiveness, where it's
entangled us to the thoughts and the trauma and the situations of the past. God, I thank you that
you're rewriting our stories. I thank you that you...
Give us the courage and the tenacity and the perseverance
that we need to walk this process out.
And I thank you, God,
that you would help us to forgive ourselves.
Lord, so often we forgive other people
and we hold ourselves hostage.
I pray that you would just help us to have a vision tonight
of the prison gate being open,
that you're calling to us
and you're calling us out of those places
into the full measure of your plan
and your purpose for us, God,
that you are smiling upon us tonight.
I thank you, God, that you,
like, I just believe that, God,
you're turning your face towards us, God.
And I just thank you for the blessing that comes
from your countenance being turned towards us.
God, I thank you that we would recognize your kindness,
your goodness, your faithfulness,
that we would, yeah, Lord, I just, I love this.
I just accidentally turned to this page.
I feel there was something on that bitterness earlier
and I didn't even realize I just had,
I was flipping the page with my left hand
and then I just kind of stopped as I was praying
and I'm right on the cycle of bitterness.
And this is what it says.
Number one, holding a grudge.
Number two, nurturing anger.
Number three, harboring resentment.
Number four, cultivating bitterness.
I pray that if we're doing any of these things,
if we're in any part of this bitterness cycle, God,
that we would just, Lord, be honest first and foremost
with ourselves, with you,
and that we would let go of grudges that we're holding.
Yes, Lord, I thank you that we would not nurture anger
towards people or like that we would not nurture anger
towards you, God, or towards ourselves.
Yes, Lord, where there's self-hatred, self-loathing,
God, we just ask you to bring healing to those places
and that you would help us to show kindness to ourselves
just like we would to another person.
And Lord, if we struggle to be kind to other people,
I thank you that you would give us the grace and love
and the capacity to be kind to people in the days to come.
The more that we heal, the more that we grow, God,
that we would see other people through your eyes
and we would see ourself through your eyes as well.
Let's see here.
James 1, two through four in the Passion Translation
says this, my fellow believers,
when it seems as though you are facing
nothing but difficulties,
see it as an invaluable opportunity
to experience the greatest joy that you can.
For you know that when your faith is tested,
it stirs up power within you to endure all things.
And then as your endurance grows,
it will release perfection into every part of your being
until there is nothing missing and nothing lacking.
Yes, praise the Lord that he will fill us up.
I love that.
It will release perfection into every part of your being
until there is nothing missing and nothing lacking.
What a powerful statement in James 1, two through four
in the Passion Translation.
Amen.
What a powerful statement in James 1, two through four
in the Passion Translation.
I pray and hope that you all will meditate on that
and let it fill you up with joy
that God is continuing to heal you
and bring you into his perfection, if you will.
It doesn't mean we-
Oh, sorry, I'm getting a little feedback.
It doesn't mean, yeah, sorry about that.
It doesn't mean we have to be perfect,
but he wants to put his own perfection inside of us,
that healing and the redemption that's taking place.
Praise the Lord.
Welcome back.
I've been having a good time here.
I know one group ended up having four people.
Sorry about that,
but hopefully y'all were able to make it work a little bit.
If somebody didn't get to share their story
in any of the groups, okay,
always know that you can come into the main group and share
and we will respond to you there
and your sisters will cheer you on there as well.
All right, very quickly.
And then I'm gonna come to Amanda.
For those of you that are brand new,
this is when we do our group coaching.
And so I'll open it up for anybody to share
what they shared in the private group
and then we'll go from there.
But really quick, and I'll put this in the group.
Y'all don't have to necessarily write it down.
Our activations for this week, there's two of them.
Caught a thought is what I call number one, okay?
You're gonna work on tracking your thoughts this week, okay?
Slowing down, paying attention to your thoughts,
how many of the thoughts that you're having are negative.
And remember, if you're having negative thoughts,
what do you do with them?
We learned this last week.
You write them down, you cross them out,
and then you ask God to replace the truth,
or excuse me, to replace the lie with truth.
And if you don't know how to do that process, it's okay.
Again, there's never a dumb question, okay?
You can come into the group and ask us, be like.
I don't really know how to know what the truth is, okay?
We do have an activation that we'll do, I'm not sure if it's next week or the week after that,
but it will help you start to work on that more.
Okay, what thoughts have you caught and stopped?
I want you to celebrate when you stop partnering with these lies,
where you start to see growth in yourself like,
oh my gosh, even two weeks ago I used to believe this lie,
and I don't anymore, and you're stopping it in its tracks.
Celebrating yourselves is going to be one of the most powerful things you can do in this process.
So many of us, we're always looking at what we haven't accomplished yet,
where we haven't gotten yet, and God is like, hey sis, hey daughter,
like stop and celebrate how far you've come.
You're accomplishing so much.
I even said that to a lady tonight, she's been helping us a ton,
but like she's like, I've hardly done anything.
I was like, you don't have a good assessment of yourself, I don't think.
That's what I said to her.
I was like, because you've been doing a ton.
Okay, but we do that, right?
We're like really harsh critics of ourselves.
So then I want you to come in the group.
So you're going to, how many thoughts are negative?
You're going to track your thoughts.
How many have you stopped?
Don't feel like you have to keep a whole long list,
but you come in the group and share as that stuff is happening,
and create a post.
We want to hear about it.
We want to know how you're getting breakthrough,
and even maybe where you're struggling like,
oh my gosh, I had this thought for like three hours today,
and then I realized I was having this negative thought.
Come and talk to us about that.
You will be surprised how many people are in the same boat as you.
Number two, activation number two, inner vows.
Okay, I want you to create a post in the group
about what the Lord is revealing to you about inner vows.
Because we only have a little bit of time to coach as a group.
I hope a lot of you are like,
oh, I've had that inner vow.
And if you don't have that experience yet,
I hope that you will in the days to come.
But come in and talk to us about it.
And even if you're like, I still don't know what an inner vow is,
that's okay too, right?
Again, I promise my coaches and myself are never going to be like,
why are you asking that question?
You should already know that.
We are never going to say that to you, okay?
Remember, I already know, and so does my team,
we only have so much capacity to retain information.
Our world is unindated with information.
And then I come and teach you guys, coach you guys for a good 45 minutes.
That's a lot of listening, right?
There's only so much you can retain.
Okay, we know that.
So we do not think anything negative.
Post your questions, ask us what you need to,
and we'll help you from there.
All right, Amanda, hello.
I would love to hear what you have to say.
Um, hi.
So one of the things that I've kind of been dealing with,
so I'm finishing up everything from phase one,
and I'm feeling like some anxiety about moving forward.
Because one of a stuck point, inner vow, intrusive negative thought
that keeps coming up is like men cannot be trusted.
And so it's something that just like this distrust keeps coming up.
So it's like how to work through some of those things,
like how to, like really, I just want to feel like trust and security.
Like I had some pretty serious trauma happen over the last three months,
like about March of this year.
And it was significant.
And it was circling around men.
And then it opened up this Pandora's box of my heart of just where receipts,
like the enemy just put in receipts of like,
this is how all these lies, they're just facts.
And so working through that,
and the Lord has really healed a lot of that.
But it is a fight.
It's a fight.
And so I don't want to walk into this next phase,
partnering with like this fear,
walking in and like writing off and red flagging everybody
and, you know, those types of things.
So, well, part of that.
Okay.
So let me just tell you, I want you to imagine a balloon.
Okay.
Balloon that's full of air.
And I want you to like kind of imagine slowly someone holding the balloon open
so the air can slowly come out.
Okay.
It's not being popped.
But I want you just to kind of imagine God helping you decompress slowly.
Okay.
Because here's the truth.
A, you don't have to have it all together and finished to go into the next phase.
But B, I feel like so many times, ladies, and I get it, because you don't know what
to expect over there, number one, but we're trying our best to help you know what's coming.
But then some of you get afraid when we start talking about what's going to happen over
there.
But the reality is, is you're going to learn, you're going to learn more.
And so even for myself, like, I used to make literally a poster board when I would talk
to the guys so that I could like, oh, okay, this is how I felt in that interaction, like,
so I could start to actually process more.
Okay, this was a green flag, this was a red flag, I gave the guys nick, like, if I was
talking to them more in depth, not the people that I just hardly had a conversation with.
But you know, I, I blew past red flags all the time in the past, but I definitely grew.
But I grew through practice, too, you know, and I had an amazing community to help me.
And that's where the community is a game changer, ladies.
When you come in and share about your dates, and you're like, I think this is a red flag,
I'm going to run away from this relationship.
And we're like, wait a minute, that's, that's only yellow.
Let's just, let's just unpack this a little more.
Why is that red for you right now?
You know, or, hey, ladies, did you see this guy has all green flags, this is looking really
good.
Mm hmm.
You know, and so I don't want you to feel like you're going to be on your own, and that
you need to fear moving forward because of what happened in the past.
You have new information now, and you're going to continue to build on that new information
in the days ahead.
Heartwork continues throughout our whole community.
And you're going to continue to have things triggered and revealed.
So I don't want you to feel like you have to like, we have some ladies that they try
to move forward, and then they get really afraid.
And then they, and it's okay, if people really feel led to come back to heartwork, but we're
seeing this happen more people are getting so scared that they're coming back to heartwork
feeling like they didn't do a good enough job the first time around.
Now, some people do fly through, but some of the people that are having that happen,
you know, again, maybe the capacity of where they were at, they couldn't retain more.
But Amanda, I know you've done a lot of work, okay.
And I think that it's okay for you just to give yourself permission to move forward and
take imperfect action.
And here's the last thing, ladies, guess what, just because you move forward into the next
phase doesn't mean you have to date immediately.
We do issue a dating challenge, but I didn't immediately take the dating challenge when
it was given.
I didn't feel led to, and that was okay for me.
So you might go in and feel like, you know, I'm going to, I'm going to absorb the content
here for a little bit, and then I'll practice, you know, you'll just have to pray and decide
what's best for you, but don't feel like you can't move forward because you still feel
like you need healing.
And I'll be honest, I would love to tell you that intrusive thoughts to stop, but sometimes
they don't.
Sometimes we just have to take authority of that thing and say, you know what, I've met
you here before, and I am going to cast you down again today.
And I'm just not going to, not today, devil, I'm not listening to you today.
You know, and it's sometimes it happens like that for a while until we get victory over
it.
You know what I'm saying?
So don't feel like because you're having intrusive thoughts still, that that means you're like,
okay, I got to keep waiting.
Does that make sense?
Resonating for you?
Yeah, it is.
So you can give yourself permission to finish phase one and go ahead and move on forward.
I know you've done the work.
I know you have.
And we're going to be here.
We're going to cheer you on.
We're going to keep walking with you.
You're not alone.
You're not going to be abandoned over there.
We have amazing coaches in phase two, as well as in the rest of our program.
I think you're going to really love it.
Okay.
Yeah.
Just allow yourself to breathe.
Ladies, I really want to encourage you to just practice breathing a lot in this process
of healing and your heart work of dating.
Jackie used to tell me all the time, Bethany, just breathe and have fun.
I had never learned how to like go on a date and just like low stakes, have a good time.
I always dated, like met one person, dated them for a long time, even if they were unhealthy.
And so it was a new experience for me to practice even learning how to date in a healthy way.
And so if I can do it.
I know you can do it, too.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
So good.
We're cheering you on.
Trina, go ahead.
OK, so mine is very aligned with that.
I was going to say, how do you know when you're ready?
And my thought is, it all comes in waves.
But my thought is I'm headed that way.
But obviously, I wouldn't want to go on a date
if I'm still thinking about my ex.
There comes a point where that's just not fair to the person
that you're on a date with, to possibly if my ex were
to call me and say, hey, that would stop me
a little bit in my tracks.
But I can't live in that fear.
So it's like, when do you know you're ready?
And I also still think that God is very much still working
in me and wanting me to do deeper work.
So maybe I don't repeat what I've
been repeating my entire life.
So yeah, when do you know, OK, I got it.
I'm good.
Let's go.
Well, so here's the tricky thing.
I don't have a cookie cutter answer for that, right?
Hey, this is just how it is.
And this is how you know for everybody.
Because everybody's different.
And so my answer is always this.
You need to pray and ask the Holy Spirit when you're ready.
And for some of you, I promise, if you are here
a really, really, really long time
and I know that you're ready to go forward,
I'm going to lovingly say, hey, just like I did tonight
with Amanda, Amanda, you've done the work.
Give yourself permission to go forward.
And I'm going to lovingly nudge you.
I'm not going to push you.
I'm not going to force you.
But I am going to lovingly nudge you.
And my other coaches are taught the same thing,
that we would help you all go ahead and move forward.
Again, it's learning as you go.
And so go ahead and pray about it.
And I've had some ladies say, hey, I just
finished the five weeks, but I feel like there's
more that God wants to do.
And so they've gone back to week one
and done the whole thing again.
And they've been super grateful that they've done it.
And so again, that's where you have to really pray
and practice discerning.
Like, what is God leading you to do?
Does he want you just to go back and do
a couple of the weeks over, you know?
But only you and God will really know
what's best for you in that.
But I will say this, as you were talking,
I thought about this image.
I want you to think about, how many of you,
let's just see a show of hands.
Well, don't put up your digital hands, just your physical.
So I don't lose the two digital hands.
How many of you learned how to ride a bike
with training wheels?
Anyone?
OK, most of us, I think.
Some people.
I don't know about you guys.
I got put on a bike.
I did ride a bike with training wheels, too.
But when I was really trying to learn
how to ride it without training wheels,
my good friend next door that we came up with this really,
we thought it was a good plan.
Thankfully, I did it in the grass.
I was on a banana seat back in the day.
You know those?
Yeah, I am that old.
And we put, I was up on a hill, and they pushed me.
They pushed me down the hill.
And the hill, I was going real fast, you all.
And so I either was going to figure out
how to pedal that thing, or I was just
going to fall over or crash into something.
So I learned pretty quick then.
Why am I saying that?
I'm saying that because some of you,
you need to think about learning how
to ride a bike with training wheels.
And learning how to date in a healthy way is the same thing.
You're going to have training wheels at first, if you will,
if you'll allow God to put them there.
And that's our community.
That's our team.
That's the coaching you're going to learn,
the things you're going to learn over there.
And then when you get stronger, you're going to feel it.
You're going to know, OK, I'm ready.
I'm ready to ride down that hill without the training wheels.
And I'm going to learn how to pedal, or I'm going to crash.
And guess what?
Even if you crash, guess what?
Here's the reality.
I got back up.
Y'all, I got back up.
And I went back to that hill, and I went down it again.
But so many of us, we get into this, I'm afraid of failing.
It's like, we got to figure out, we got to find the one.
We got to find the one.
And God just wants to, again, that balloon,
just release all that pressure.
Release all that pressure.
And then you said, well, I'm still thinking about my ex.
Well, guess what?
But you know how this works sometimes?
Sometimes you just go on a date with someone else
and you have a really good time.
Man, that helps you think about that ex a little less.
It works.
I'm not saying it always makes everything go away,
but I'm telling you what,
if you meet someone at some point,
because I believe you will, that is amazing,
I think you'll break free from that a little bit more.
But I think you probably are gonna continue to heal
on the way to that as well.
And so I hope you pray and really ask the Lord.
If you're feeling like, oh, like if he called me today,
I would be back with him.
My question to you is why didn't it work out
in the first place?
You know, we gotta look at that.
And if we consider taking someone back, ladies,
this is real, this happens all the time.
Women get in the hard work and exes come back up.
Women move into the next stage and exes resurface.
Sometimes it's because both people have changed.
Both people have actually changed.
They've both done some healing work
and now they're both ready.
That can happen sometimes.
But I'm telling you a majority of the time,
that isn't the case.
Because those people circle back,
but they actually haven't even done anything
to be different.
They might be saying they're different
and they might be able to show like for the short term,
be different.
But guess what?
Internal transformation means long-term
they can maintain healthy behavior, long-term.
Okay.
And so we wanna look at the fruit,
just like we're asking you guys to look at your roots
and your fruit.
We want you to become fruit inspectors,
not judgmental, not critical.
And what do I mean by that?
Are they walking in the fruits of the spirit?
Are they walking in love, kindness,
faithfulness, gentleness,
y'all self-control, it's in there.
Are they honoring you?
You know, are they honoring you?
We teach in this community,
do they have the three Ms,
marriage-minded, masculine and mature?
Maturity is lacking in a lot of men and women today.
It's both, y'all, it's both genders now.
A lot of people think it's just the men, it's both.
But we want you all to look for the people
that are those things.
And being in a situationship,
someone saying they love you
and they wanna marry you one day
is not the same thing as someone who's marriage-minded.
Okay, that's tends to be situationships,
which means you're with someone,
you're dating someone
and they're saying they wanna marry you,
but they're not doing anything
with their actions to move in that direction.
So I hope that's helpful.
Remind me, cause you just,
you guys just broke up not that long ago, right?
It'll be two months this week, yeah.
Yeah, it's still fresh.
Give yourself some grace.
That's not a lot of space yet between that.
And so again, don't feel like,
and you might be ready to date.
So I don't wanna limit you when you finish the heartwork,
but I do want you to give yourself some grace
and permission to continue to process that breakup and heal.
And don't feel like you have to go right
into something else unless again,
you feel really led by the Lord to do so.
I think the thing that I'm trying to let go of
is I've never been a person, I'm 42.
I've never been a person, never married
to jump into a next thing.
I've always been like the guy before this
was eight years before.
So like, I very much so go back out on my own
and I'm like, I'm good, don't need it, you know?
But I'm trying not to do that this time
because I want to get married
and I want a shot at having a family.
So, but you know, there's a push and pull with that
of don't go crazy, but also.
Well, here's the thing.
Again, I think the community
is gonna be a game changer for you then.
You really working on staying connected
and like, I know it's gonna sound like a lot,
but like I would go on a date
because I was very similar to you.
I would go on a date and I would come in the group
and be like, this is how my date went.
What do y'all think?
Because I needed to actually learn
how to even process what I just experienced.
You know, what were the other healthy people
that I was in community with saying about this?
And that helped me grow
and not just keep hanging on to some guy
because he had potential.
We literally can't marry potential,
but I, for some reason, used to think I could.
I mean, I saw a little ounce of potential
and I'd be like, oh my God, he prayed today.
Anyone relate?
Anyone relate to me right now?
Oh my gosh, he bought me a gift, but 50 other times, on my birthday even, y'all, he didn't
even buy me a gift this one time.
Didn't even acknowledge my birthday.
Who does that if they really love you, right?
We're not settling for crumbs, ladies, no more of that.
You're not under the table begging for crumbs like, well, I'll just settle for whatever
falls down, I might get a crumb today.
No.
I know you relate to me.
I know you do.
I see it.
We're not doing that anymore, because you know what?
I don't know if you like steak or shrimp or seafood or whatever, but think fancy.
Think whatever your favorite thing is, God has that sitting on the top of the table at
the banquet table for you.
And he's got a name, too.
But I'm talking about a meal right now, just to kind of get you thinking about that.
Crumbs versus this really awesome experience and meal.
And God has that for you, but it's part of us learning how to receive it, how to believe
that it's actually available for us.
But again, if we internally, and I know some of you are like, I don't know, do I think
I'm under the table begging for crumbs?
Well, if you tend to think there's not enough men in the world that are good, that's a scarcity
mindset, ladies.
You're under the table right there.
Do you get what I'm saying?
Okay.
So Trina, give yourself some grace.
Again, pray if you feel like you should do the hard work again, go for it.
Because you might, you might just need a little more time.
Some of us literally the first time we go through again, whatever capacity we have,
you know, we might only be able to get like, 20% below the surface of our heart.
And so the next time through, maybe we're going to be able to get to 50 or 60%.
I'm not saying you should keep doing it.
But we do.
I mean, ladies, I literally, I mean, when I first started coaching, I probably read
this book no less than six or seven times.
Watch the videos over and over and over because I had to absorb it to coach it.
And it changed me, like massively.
And so I'm not saying stay in the ICU, but I am saying it's a tool.
The hard work is this, this stuff you're learning is meant to be tools to help you.
We're praying for you.
What week are you on right now, Trina?
This is going to be my fifth.
Okay.
All right.
Well, make sure you let us know what you decide.
Okay.
So pray and then do a post in the app so that we can know what you decided.
And will you tag me?
Because I tend to see those when you guys create the post.
I'm seeing those notifications better when you do an actual post.
Okay.
And that way I'll know to check that out.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
So many exciting things happening.
Lisa, Mendrix, go ahead.
Okay.
So with the intervals, there's two things that came to mind right away.
And the first one was, am I willing to believe that a man will be there for me?
And I know the root is my dad, because I know you've heard me talk about this before.
I don't know about this particular thing, but anyway, when my parents split up, I didn't
live with them my last two years of high school.
And the rule was that once I graduated, I had to go live with my dad.
And so I was living with him and my dad was an alcoholic and he was setting the table
one night and I just said to him, I'm like, dad, you're never there for me.
What I meant was emotionally and he blew a fuse and he started chasing me around the
dinner table and it scared me because he had a knife.
Not that my dad was ever physically violent, but he was also an alcoholic and my dad did
have a temper.
I never, he never took it out on me, but I watched him take it out on my brother.
So you know, of course I'm not comfortable.
And then I ran upstairs, hid for a bit.
And then when I felt it was safe to get downstairs, I got in my car and I took off for the night
and I spent the night in a church parking lot, which I'm only laughing because I wasn't
saved yet, but clearly I felt like that was a place to go.
So yeah, I think that it stems from that.
And then the other issue that is this thought that I realized I've had over the years, most
sent when I've considered dating again. And just to let you know, I haven't dated since really like
1997. And I'm 61. And I've never been married and don't have kids. So Trina, I can relate.
I'm a couple decades ahead of you almost. But yeah, and so the thing is, before I got saved
when I was 37. But before I got saved, I was sexually active. And I think that
I mean, I'm not trying to justify I'm just I'm really getting clear at like where this
vow has crept in. Yeah, is that I was really broken when I was 15 when my parents split up.
And so I know that I really was trying to find love. And so I dated a lot. Like if I wasn't with
somebody shortly after within like a month, I had a new boyfriend. And, and that was, you know,
that went on a lot. And so I think that I used my body. I was I wouldn't say like, it wasn't like I
was somebody who was like flaunting my figure. It wasn't like that. But when I had sex with somebody,
I always thought like, marriage was the next step, like if I cared about him enough, so I kind of
put the cart obviously before the horse. And, and so, you know, my heart got broken a lot too,
because I was serious and thought they were too, but that was never the case. And so my heart got
broken over and over and over again. And I think that I over time, you know, it made me really feel
like I was being used by men for my body. Yeah, I think there was a lot of confusion that came out
of it. I think there were some guys that definitely did care about me, I would say they were all like
that. But um, you know, and then I'm clearly without really realizing it giving a very wrong
message. Like if I'm willing to sleep with you, and not marry you, then that kind of can tell a
lot of men, not all men, but it gives it gives a different message, right? So those are the two
things that Yeah, and then the thing I do want to say really quickly getting back to not believing
a man will ever be there for me, there's I'm just realizing I'm starting to really come out of this,
which is fantastic. Which is that I used to really put like, I really wanted to be validated
by man, I was always looking for their approval. And I actually done it with my pastor, like he
would never know that. But I always wanted his like stamp of approval, you know what I mean?
Like I just really did. And I saw recently that I've been doing it and how much it's been really
disempowering me like 24 years, you know, I've been under this pastor's leadership, you know,
since I got saved. And that's a long time to be a certain way. Right. And so I but I'm, I'm really
starting to come into myself. I'm really seeing that like, I'm like, I'm not here for that
approval. And it's not like a, it's not like a, I don't know how to explain it. It's not like I'm
trying to work it like, Oh, you're not, I'm not gonna let you it's not like that. Yeah, yeah.
And that's what healing does, ladies. That's what it does.
Yeah. So it's really awesome. So I think my thing is like one of the concerns I have about,
you know, will a man ever be there for me is also like, needing that knowing that I need to put God
first, you know, coming out of this thing of wanting to be validated by man, putting God first
where I had been putting man if I'm to be honest with you, I have been I definitely this wouldn't
have been a struggle otherwise. And so then it's like, I you know, but then I don't want to be
codependent and lean. I don't know how to do the balance because I haven't had I haven't done it
before. Well, you're again, it's so funny. I feel like this takes us back to the bicycle with
training wheels. I really do. I think again, like it's it's learning as we grow as we go, right.
And so one of the things that was coming up is I do think that you are learning this already. I
think you're already in motion. When you said the first one, you said, am I willing?
Am I willing to believe a man will be there for me? And that just stood out to me that you said,
am I willing? And, you know, there's a scriptures that talk about, you know,
I believe help me and like, yeah, you know, where I'm, I don't know if this is a scripture or just
somebody said it, but what's coming up in my spirit is like, Lord, help me to be willing to
be made willing, you know, and not that God's enforcing us, but like, there's some level of
like, sometimes we might not feel willing that God can help us. Yeah. He can help us.
you know, have the courage to be willing to believe something good that enables us and empowers us.
And so while you've had bad experience with men, that has definitely, I mean,
that's scary what happened to you. I'm so sorry that happened with your dad.
But I feel like God is saying, I'm willing, like he's saying to you, I'm willing.
And he's willing to help you. He's willing to lead you, to guide you. And so basically it's
up to you to decide if you're ready to just say, I'm willing versus am I willing, right? Like,
I'm willing to believe there's a man for me, healthy.
Yeah. And I actually have experienced that. I did actually experience that like really big time
with the person I got engaged in 1987. And I won't go into that, but I mean, that was like,
out of all the people, like I hadn't dated for 13 years. And just to let you know, too,
like with this sex thing, just a little bit, I stopped having sex in 1988.
Yeah. So here's the thing on that one.
So we have to really make sure that our inner vow isn't around like,
you know, it kind of makes me think of, and it's not wrong. I understand why you,
why you would have chosen that. But like, you know, like how that one said, I will be perfect.
So I'll never get rejected again. Like, you know, some of us make inner vows. I will never
allow my body to be like, I will never use my body in that way ever again. And in we're saying
it to such a degree internally that we actually like literally like put ourselves in timeout
because we're, we're literally afraid to have a physical, you know, reaction to someone.
Yeah. I do need to elaborate a little bit on this because it actually,
I had two abortions. Okay. And one in 1986 and one in 1988, and they both did me in big time.
The second one I weigh like I'm my average weight is one 30. I went under a hundred pounds. I was
like the walking dead. I felt like, I felt like my spirit had just left me. I don't even know how
I made it. I ate a candy bar from the vending machine for lunch once a day. That's all I had
for months. So it was really hard. And I vowed to myself, I said, and you know, I wasn't saved yet.
And I just said, I am never, I'm, this is never going to happen to me again. I'm never going to
do this. No way. So that's a good thing. You know, it's a good thing, especially not being
saved. You know what I mean? And I've held that since 1988 it's an, even the person I was engaged
with when we dated, I said, I just have to let you know, this is where I stand with sex before
marriage. This is what happened to me. I'm just not going to go there. So if you're fine with
that, we're good to date. If you're not, you need to date somebody else. So it's very good to set
those boundaries. I think where, you know, so I'm just going to tell you something that I saw
when you were talking. Okay. So I saw like a bride in a cemetery with a bride, like a wedding dress
on, but she was like dead. And I think from that, what I heard the Lord saying is like,
you know, the grieving it's time. God wants you to like, give yourself permission to come
out of grieving, to come out of that place of like punishing yourself. And to, to recognize
like that, that part of you that died in those situations, like God wants to redeem that and
bring that back to life. Like you've always been destined to be a bride that's alive and
fully alive in every area and every aspect of yourself. And, um, so I don't speak that over
you as a, Hey, this is where you're going to be. I'm sick. God is showing me that there's some
aspect of yourself where you are still kind of grieving and punishing yourself.
And God wants to remove the grave clothes, just like David. Okay. I'm not comparing you to him
at all, but David, like when he lost that, that son at the, you know, that him and Bathsheba had,
he grieved deeply. But do you know, that's someone too.
to say the time of mourning is over.
Like God literally sent someone to him
to help him come out of that place of grieving.
And then that's what made that change happen.
And there's probably other stuff there contextually,
but I'm just saying when I read that story,
that's something that I remember it ministered to me
because God sent someone to him to say,
hey, the time of grieving is over.
And then he's out of that place.
And so I really want to encourage you
just to kind of pray into that
and just make sure that you're not still agreeing
with that you have to be afraid of yourself.
You have to be afraid of, you know,
or your ability to make a good choice.
If you move forward, you know,
just make sure that you're not like kind of continuing
to subconsciously hold yourself in that timeout,
in that place of grieving, in that place of like,
because as soon as I started talking to you
and I understand it's really good, you know,
cause I'm learning more about you every time
we have these interactions,
but like, I'm like encouraging you to move forward.
And then you were mentioning, well, this is what I did.
I had these abortions.
And so I feel like the enemy continues
to try to take you backwards.
Does that make sense?
Yeah, I think.
It's helpful because we learn more about your story
and we learn more how to like,
but in that process, like ultimately at the end of the day,
ladies, we have to give ourselves permission.
That's the theme tonight.
It's a really big theme that's coming out
is are we willing to give ourselves permission to live?
To live.
And I know that you're living on a lot of levels,
but I think there's some areas where, again,
the Lord is like wanting to awaken some stuff in you.
And when you start to feel that,
you might even feel afraid of it
because it might cause you to think
of how you felt back then,
but it's not the same.
You're not the same person anymore.
Right, so the reason why I only brought up the,
I wasn't gonna bring up the abortion thing.
I brought it up because I wanted to clarify
because I felt like the coaching you were giving me
was based on information that you didn't have all the way.
And so I thought, oh, I actually need to tell you this.
And I don't even remember what you said
before I said that, which is kind of interesting.
But yeah, I think what's come up for me
because I did go through several weeks,
like an eight-week healing course back in like 2008,
because I told God I wanted him to use me
to set the captives free from shame
and to heal through abortion.
So, and I've been, I've spoken on television about this.
I've been in schools and churches.
God used me mightily.
And so it's not to say like,
you're healed one time and then you're fine.
Life's a process, I know that.
So when you said about the healing though,
I really didn't feel like that resonated.
Like I just got done working at a clinic for nine months,
pregnancy clinic, and I had to coach women
based on what they were ready for type of thing.
So it's more just giving them resources.
But the long and short is,
I think that, I think there's a part of me
that feels like my innocence was taken away
because it doesn't feel so,
you know, when you know the choices you made,
you know, and I know like in my head,
they were a bunch of cells.
I didn't even think of this as a baby,
but I also know that's how people rationalize abortion,
many people, you know?
So I don't wanna get too into this, but yeah.
I do need to close up with you.
I wanna go ahead and go to Roseanne,
but I do wanna,
I just wanna bring something to light though.
Okay.
So I feel like sometimes,
like I'm not trying to tell you it has to be about healing,
but I know that there has been coaching in the past
that your initial response has been very similar to tonight.
But then when you have like kind of processed it more,
God starts revealing a bunch of stuff.
And I'm not saying it always has to be like,
everything I coach is like right spot on.
I'm just saying that I'm seeing a pattern.
Okay.
In when you're getting coaching,
the initial response is like, yeah, no,
that's not resonating, that's not what I need.
I'm coaching and helping other people.
But I feel like it's coming up for a reason,
and so just praying into that.
I'm not saying it's right or wrong.
I'm glad that you shared
because this is what's helping you get
more and more breakthrough.
It's helping other people.
And I'm so glad that again,
that you shared.
shared your story more. I learned, I didn't know, I didn't recall that happening regarding
your dad. And so no matter what you talking and sharing is bringing revelation and healing
for you no matter what. And so I'm really grateful for your story and that you shared
it with us, but just pray into that because sometimes, and again, this may or may not
resonate either, but sometimes I've even found myself deflecting or resisting what
someone's saying. Even back when I knew, like, down that someone was saying something that
had truth in it, but like, I just was like, no, I'm good. Does that make sense?
Yeah, I think it's just like wanting to be understood. That's kind of what I think, but I'll
definitely take a look at that, you know, because it sounds like what you're saying is that I
immediately I'm like, no, no, no, that's not what it is. And then somehow, something happens
after that, where I guess I process more. I don't know. Is that what your take is?
Yeah, yeah. Because even, um, I can't remember what it was exactly. But like you, I just
remember the last time this happened, you ended up there was a lot that got revealed to you and
you processed for a little while on that. And it was some significant stuff. And you know, and I
will say to sometimes ladies, here's the thing, like, sometimes I think I'm saying something to
my husband, and he'll say something to me. And then I'll say something, he'll be like, I think
we're saying the same thing. But you know, we all speak a little differently, right? And so that's
totally fine, too. And Lisa, you're an amazing communicator. And I think that, again, no matter
what God's doing something in this, um, whether it's just for you or for other people in here
tonight. So again, I appreciate you sharing your story. And let us know if that resonates at all,
if anything else is revealed, or like, nope, nothing else got revealed after five weeks or
whatever. That's totally fine, too. So love you so much. I'm so glad you're here.
You're doing well. Thank you. And thank you. It gives me a lot to reflect on, you know, so and I
will be reflecting on it. I know, you know, you're doing an awesome job. Roseanne, go ahead.
Hello. Hi. So what I shared in the small group, what I think I need to come out of agreement
with, and it's been coming up more over the last couple of weeks, probably is that, um, do I really
believe that this can happen for me that I can find a spirit mate, you know, and like this past
Saturday, when Jackie kept, you know, saying about, I know, most of you know, you have, you have a
promise from God, and I cannot say that God promised me that I would have a husband. I can
say that I have a very strong desire. I don't. That's your promise. So, but I found myself, and I'm
not sure exactly if there was something that was said that brought it up, or it's just that it's
coming more to the surface that I am finding myself thinking, why, you know, why am I doing this? Do I
really believe this can happen? What's going to change about my situation that will allow me to
be, you know, get me into a place where I can even meet somebody? So, and then one thing that when,
as you were coaching earlier, um, when you said, um, some of us say it's easier. Hold on one second.
I'm gonna, I just don't want to. Sure. Can you open that and see if my believe sign is in there?
Yeah, open the cabinet. And just, is my believe sign in there? Yes. Thank you. Okay. Okay. Sorry, I
didn't want to get up out of my chair, and he was walking by. So, I'm gonna use this in a minute to,
but go ahead. Okay. So, it, what you said about, um, it being easier to stay like I am, because,
I mean, I think what comes up in me is, I don't want to be disappointed again. So. Yeah.
And then I like what you said, give yourself permission to move forward and take imperfect
action. I like that. Yeah. I mean, ladies, I make mistakes in marriage. So, why do we think we,
I mean, why do we put all this pressure on ourselves? Like we have to do everything perfectly, right?
it's not realistic and it sets people up for failure and like people check out of relationships
because they made a mistake and they pull back and they isolate because they're so afraid someone's
going to reject them if they make a mistake and so we you know we want to look at that stuff too
and really like okay lord when i make a mistake or if i make a mistake and maybe this is something
for y'all to contemplate this week because i feel like this has come up a little bit tonight as well
kind of a couple times but like what is our reaction when we make a mistake what do we do
i feel the holy spirit on that what do we do when we make a mistake
do we go into hiding like adam and eve
do we pull back and not even answer when god is calling to us in the garden
oh i just felt that too kind of on a pinpoint here
you know think about it sarah blamed i said sarah adam and eve adam blamed eve
eve blamed the serpent you know we pull back from relationship
yeah so we want to look at what is our behavior when we make a mistake no that's not exactly what
you were wanting coaching on but i think that will be a really good yeah free process for you
and everyone here tonight myself included when i um got into my first argument with brian i remember
like the feelings of like like i couldn't even look at him but it wasn't because i was disgusted
with him it was because i i like felt all this shame for the feeling i had i was triggered i
had all kinds of stuff going on and the enemy wanted me to hide and i you know god was like
don't don't hide just tell him what's happening now i have a very amazing impatient husband so
that's really important to pick healthy guys ladies and he didn't get all rejected you know
he didn't partner with rejection thankfully i said him hey like this is what's going on
it doesn't actually have anything to do with you like i got triggered because you did this but all
of this stuff i'm telling you about it doesn't have anything to do with you so for whatever it's
worth you know when we look at how we react now when we're not in a like a you know relationship
romantic that's leading to marriage or is marriage in the future um if we unpack that now
and how much further that will help us later on because y'all i have to tell you
even though you know that person loves you um sometimes it can be really hard to stay engaged
and close when you have a disagreement if you don't know how to do it and i'm still learning
and it's okay because most of my life i saw i heard my parents fighting upstairs i never saw
them get along my brothers beat each other and my sister as well like i didn't see people
like have healthy conflict ever my grandparents were amazing but i never saw them disagree ever
so while it was a great they were amazing to be around i'm like okay well they never fought so
i have all these horrible examples and then i have this which is great but like
what do i do when conflict happens and i actually have to learn how to deal with it
because nobody taught me right so there's that for everybody but on the things that you said
as soon as you said do i really believe this can happen for me so we're going to activate believe
this this week this month roseanne this is your assignment in addition to the other activations
and you can pray about it and figure out what your thing is but i will tell you that when god
led me to activate my let me turn my little thing off here my ability to believe i believe help my
unbelief i pray it all the time he told me though he said buy a sign this is what he led me to do
buy a sign and this didn't used to be in a cabinet but you all we had mold problem last
year and everything got packed away so i actually forgot until you were talking tonight about my
awesome sign so i'm going to get it back out now but it hangs up and he said every time you see
the sign i want you to say i believe i believe i believe and tap the sign you know there's that
bible the story in the bible where you know god told him to strike the ground and he told him how
many times to strike the ground that's what it makes me think of he told me tap it three times
Every time I believe, I believe, I believe. And every time I was doing that, I knew in my spirit,
what I was saying, I was believing for. Do you want to know what it is?
A baby, kids. I believe, I believe. Now, again, it might not always work out the way we think.
Right.
That doesn't mean it's not good. Okay. And so I just say that for me because some,
some of y'all are going to swipe past a really awesome guy because he doesn't look like the
person you normally would date. Truth. Some of you are gonna not be happy because your thing
that you're believing for isn't coming in the package you want. Some of y'all don't want to
ever move, but your spirit mate's in another state. Are you really open to what God wants to
do in you? It's a good thing to sit with yourself and talk to him about, okay. So that's the believe
thing. And then on the, um, easier to stay single, you know, the reality is, is again, like,
I would love to tell you that disappointment is never going to come again,
but that's not, it's not true. It is going to come, but good things are also going to come.
Are you willing to be made willing to have both?
You know? And when I say that, I don't mean that God doesn't have good things for you,
but you all, I, I went on dates with some guys that I thought were like, oh, this is,
this could be a good guy. And then the one guy, he didn't, he was like, God's telling me we're
just supposed to be friends. And you all, there were things that I thought, like, even when I
went on dates with him, I kind of thought, man, he's not very fun, but he's nice and he's kind.
And, you know, and I was like convincing myself because he had these good qualities.
And so then God leads him to say, Hey, we should just be friends. And I was disappointed. And then
I had to remind myself, well, why? Like, remember, you thought he wasn't very fun.
Like you wanted to, like, it was on my Jesus cares board. You all fun. I wanted to be with
someone who is fun. Now you all, I have to tell my husband to stop doing dad jokes. I'm like,
okay, they're not funny anymore, but no, he's a fun person. But you see how that switch had that
change had to happen. If I had just partnered with, I'm just like, I was disappointed in that
moment. Right. But I'm like, okay, like Jackie's used to say all the time, you're one step closer
to your spirit mate. And I remember after the second guy, I'm like, quit freaking telling me
that, you know, cause sometimes you're just like, ah, but it was so true. It was so true.
And so I'm going to be here to tell you all the same thing. So are the other coaches,
but you know, the self-protection mechanisms are, as in will keep you
from stepping into all that God has for you. And I want you to kind of start picturing your basket
full of flowers. That's what's coming up in my spirit, full of flowers, whatever that means for
you, you know, versus like, I got this basket and it's empty disappointment. There's nothing.
Right. But if your basket's full and the flowers, the way I pictured them,
I don't know if you like bright flowers, but that's what I pictured in my mind's eye. That's
what the Lord put in my spirit. You just have this basket and it's full. Well, what it brings
back to mind for me is when you were talking earlier, instead of saying, cause I, I mean,
just this week I was telling her, I want this, I want this, I want this in my spirit mate is
saying, thanking God that he's bringing that into my life. Yes. God, thank you so much. Y'all,
I would literally pray before I would get on the apps and I would, I would say, God,
thank you so much that you're going to bring me healthy men to interact with God. Thank you so
much that I'm going to have fun in these interactions and I'm going to grow. I literally
just had to like really help myself get into the place of believing for good things. Right now,
did I still meet some kooky people? Y'all I did. I did, but I met some really awesome guys too.
I'm so grateful for that. And I think the praying and the believing and the heart posture that I
went in with, I think it all mattered because even on the kooky people, I just was like, well,
Okay. That wasn't a great experience, but bless him Lord, because the reality is, is
hurt people, hurt people, broken people do broken things. Right. I don't have to continue
to interact with them, but I can bless them and just keep moving on and not take it personal.
Right. And I think for you, you know, that stuff with that guy, you know, you still been
coming out of that. Yeah. I think at some point a big shift for you internally is going
to be when you really say that is not going to be my experience anymore. And you really
believe it, but God's going to help you get there. Yeah. It's one step at a time. Sometimes
it's the building and activating the belief first. Whose report are you going to believe
in Roseanne? I'm going to believe the report of the enemy. Who's telling you that there's
nothing left for you. There's no, you're it's over. You're dried out. I don't know that
he's saying that, but it's just what came up in my spirit. Ladies, there's a woman right
now. She's been in the program for a couple of years. Uh, she actually is similar to Lisa
went through some really tough stuff, made some unhealthy choices, uh, regarding sexual
things. Some people did some bad stuff to her sexually regarding that she didn't date.
She was married before. Was it really bad marriage? And she, I don't remember if she
went on dates after that or not a hundred percent, but it had been a while. It had been
a while. And, uh, she kept trying to talk to guys and they just were triggering each
other. It was just trigger, trigger, trigger. It wasn't good. It wasn't good. It wasn't
good for a long time. And you all, she met a guy a couple months ago and they are sweet
on each other. It's going well. And they're in Simbis right now, which is our saving your
marriage before it starts premarital coaching. She did not think it was going to be possible
for you, her. And I'm telling you what, she's like, I think mid to high seventies.
Y'all we're here. We're not dead. Yeah. Deborah age is no matter to God. It really
isn't. We think it's impossible because of age, location, whatever you want to fill in
the blank with our weight, our kids are this or that, you know? And God's just like, that's
like nothing for me. He's like, I got all kinds of 70 year old men up here or whatever
your age is. He's like, I'm just going to, I'm just going to lead you. I'm going to lead
them. You're 50 then. Hey, it's 50. Remember we're all in a line ladies. Remember I said
that earlier? Now, again, you still have to get out of your house and go do the things
that God asked you to do. Cause he's not, he literally won't drop them through the ceiling.
I don't think I wanted him to, I wanted him to bring the UPS guy. I'm having fun now.
We're really late tonight. I'm just having fun. But I did, I wanted the UPS guy to show
up at my door and I wanted him to be a healthy Christian man. And you know, it just wouldn't
be hard. But you know what God asked me to do? He asked me to go back on to online dating,
which I said, I just, I vowed I'm never doing online dating again. I made that vow because
when I met the girl's dad, I met him on eHarmony and it was horrible because he was bad. He
was really bad. I think he was a predator looking for, looking for his prey. I do. But
anyways, I digress. I went back onto online dating and I met my husband. If I had kept
partnering with that vow, you all, I wouldn't have met Brian. He was in a totally different
state, four and a half hours away from me. I said, I was never moving. These were vows
I was making. I'm never moving. I'm staying close to my girls. Has it been hard? Yes.
I miss them all the time. But now God led me to Indiana and now I'm in Florida. What?
I love Florida. You all, I wish my girls live closer, but I love Florida. God gave me desires
of my heart. I've always wanted to live by water. Always. So Roseanne, that was a long
story to tell you that it's about believing.
What's that song? Don't stop believing. I can't sing it. I'm so afraid. I can actually kind of sing you all, but I always get so afraid when I try to do it on this stuff.
Maybe listen to that song. I know it's not a Christian one, but hey, I think anything you can do when you're activating something, get a sign, you pray, you look up books about it, you know.
Now we ask you guys just to focus on the heart work here, but listen to song. Yeah, journey. Thank you. Yes. Yeah. Grow your faith, ladies. Pray. Ask God to give you more faith.
Do you know that God can literally give us the gift of faith? It can be a gift. I think so many times we think we just have to like muster it up all the time and work really hard and strive to have faith.
But God is like, hey, you know what? I want to give you a gift of a full measure of faith in this situation. And I really feel like that's what happened for me. I was praying for more faith to believe because I didn't want to limit God.
I don't want to live a limiting life. I still don't. Right. You can do this. So I want you to imagine yourself living a like like in my mind, I kind of picture like you really getting out there and getting all gussied up.
And like going places with your friends, even just to get really gussied up to go to Home Depot, like, ladies, we should be doing these things. Just FYI, you should be doing these things. Don't go out of your house everywhere looking like you just rolled out of bed being like, I'm going to meet my spirit mate.
Some of y'all, maybe you might meet your spirit mate like that. You might. But most of us don't. We got to look like we're trying a little bit. Right. Some of you, that's not hard at all. But for others, even myself, I work from home.
You know, I wear comfy shorts and T-shirts most of the time until I get on a live. And then sometimes I've got the comfy pants on down below. And I'm like, I love this online stuff because I can just wear the comfy pants and put a cute top on. And you never know.
Why am I saying that? Because you know what? I found myself lately just like I feel like getting dressed up. I don't even feel like wearing earrings anymore. I don't feel like why does maybe it doesn't matter. But like, it's not me. It's not me. I love to get dressed up. I love to wear earrings and do my hair.
And so what I recognize is when I start pulling back from all that stuff, something on the inside isn't feeling good.
So if some of you haven't gotten out there, curled your hair, put a little makeup on. If you're not a makeup person, it's fine. Just put a little, I don't know, a little glimmer or something over yourself. It's all right. Try something new. Go to a makeup. Some of you might be like, I don't have a clue how to do makeup. Go to a makeup counter. Sign up for a session.
You know, get some tips on like, go get a facial, get some tips on how to do some skincare. You know, we all need help with stuff. It's okay to admit what you need help with. If you need help with fashion, you know, there's these things out there where you guys can go and have, I forget what it's called, but like the panel done so that you know what colors to wear.
And so I'm not just talking to Roseanne now. Now I'm just telling y'all a bunch of stuff, but just like have fun with life and where you're at. And I think that, you know, some of the stuff too, that you went through right after you came into hard work, I'm sure that didn't make your journey easier, but I think that's going a little better. Right?
Yeah. Yeah.
Mine's a sign. Yours might be something totally different. Maybe God's going to ask you to draw something. I don't even know if you're an artist, but whatever your thing is, I would love to see what God leads you to in a picture of some kind and tell us, you know, again, this doesn't have to be right away. It can be next week, two weeks, whatever. And if you post it in an, if you move into another phase,
and you post it then, just tell the coaches to tell me and I will come over there and look at it because I'm going to see it.
Okay. Okay.
Seriously, don't stay here just to do that. But I do like my team is awesome. They'll be like, Hey, Bethany, somebody's over here
talking to you in this group. And I'll go over there and I'll I'll look at them and then respond there. Okay. Okay. Well, we
closed it down tonight. We closed it down. We had some fun talk. I hope that was helpful. I saw somebody said I needed this
advice. I'm glad. Yeah, people are rooting for you, Roseanne. Have fun with this stuff, ladies. Let your faith be restored and
rebuilt. Because man, you're freaking beautiful. And there's so much good out there for you. Let me pray. Father, thank you
so much for this night, God. Thank you for all of the time the ladies have given me and given you and given themselves tonight. I pray
that you would give them back time. I thank you that you would just continue to rebuild all the broken and fallen places in their
lives. Give them fresh hope God I pray that you give them dreams and visions of their lives and living in the fullness what that
looks like. God that you would inspire them encourage them that you would protect them from the evil one. God I know that you're
working in our hearts and our minds help them to recognize the thought patterns they've been living living in the limiting belief
systems that they partner with the inner vows that have been holding them back. And I thank you that you would help them to have the
courage and the grace to come out of alignment with those things and come into alignment with your truth with your freedom with your
hope. And I pray God that you just Yeah, thank you for supernatural breakthroughs and acceleration in their lives. In Jesus name. Amen.
God bless you all. I hope you have an amazing night. I'll see you all in the group. Bye everyone. Bye