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Hello, welcome. Hello, hello, hello. Hi, Debra. I love seeing you on camera. Already ready

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to go. Anyone else want to join us on camera tonight? Would love for you to come join us

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here on camera. Welcome back for those ladies joining us again this week. If you are new

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tonight, you've never been here before, would love for you to put that in the chat so that

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we can welcome you by name. And we're so glad to get started again tonight. We're going

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to be diving into some really important content here in just a moment, but a couple of housekeeping

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things, just things we like to cover from time to time. And for those that are new,

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just to kind of set the framework really well, hopefully for you each week. One of the things

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we talk about for all of those that come into the community is the reminder that whatever

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your background is, whatever your role, your job, whatever your ministry background is,

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whether it's counseling, advising, coaching, if you've been a big helper in ministry, we're

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going to ask you to come out of alignment with that during this time as far as it's

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not your job to do those things here. No one did anything wrong. That's leading me to say

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this. This is just something we like to remind everybody because oftentimes what happens

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is when you're here in the heart work, if that's something that's really ingrained in

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you is to help other people, the enemy will use that to distract you from your own heart

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work. He will try to get you to focus on helping other people accomplish their heart work and

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their breakthroughs versus focusing on yourself. Now that doesn't mean you can't cheer people

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on, you know, say, Hey, I'm praying for you. You know, that kind of thing. That's great.

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Love on your sisters, but you don't need to fix anything that they put in there. The coaches

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are going to coach them and we have designated coaches to do that. You are here just to receive.

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And we like to just remind you all in that is that, you know, that, that stuff that they

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talk about when you're on an airplane, you got to put the oxygen mask on yourself first

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before you even put it on your kids or someone else, right? Why? Because if you don't, if

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you don't put it on yourself first, most likely you're not going to be able to put it on your

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kid, right? And help them. And so we want you to think about that as well. Um, and know

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that if you're busy helping fixing and counseling others, even before you came in the heart

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work again, that's going to be kind of a propensity within you. You're going to feel that urge

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to like fix other people's problems. So I'm going to encourage you to, um, just come out

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of alignment with that. Put yourself first. Some of you have never done that. This is

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your time. And God brought you here for a purpose. And so we want you to lean into that

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to the best of your ability. And so if you're struggling with doing that, with focusing

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on your own heart work, you might get a call from a friend as soon as you joined heart

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work and you're in the process and they'll be like having this major panic and drama

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and all the things, y'all, this is legit. This happens all the time and it derails people.

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Now, I'm not saying don't be there for your friends, but some of you need to just kind

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of take, um, what do I want to say? Like an assessment of like how many people in need

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reach out to you when they need, you know, they need something and it's drama filled

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or it's whatever, you know, is the enemy sending people to you like that because you're a helper

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and you're just very open to always helping everybody. Now, again, that might sound really

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foreign and backwards because as Christians, we're called to help people, right? We are,

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but God also calls us to have boundaries. Jesus himself had boundaries and we won't

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go into that too far tonight, but I've coached people on that out of the scripture. And so

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I want to encourage y'all, if Jesus can do it and if he did it, then we can do it. And

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we have the capacity, you know, not only enabled by him to do it, but he's saying, Hey, take

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time to rest, take time to heal. And it really matters. Welcome, Christina, brand new Jacqueline.

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Welcome. First time live session. We're so glad that you're here with us. We do encourage

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people to come on camera as much as possible. And so if y'all are able to come on camera,

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that would be amazing. If you can't totally understand. Couple other quick housekeeping

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Supernatural Saturdays under the replay tab in the app. It's titled, He Sees You. Y'all

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is so good. Power packed. And then we want to encourage you to continue to engage in

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the group. If you have questions about the heartwork content and material, if you're

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not sure when we coach you on something, even during a live and you're just like, I don't

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really know how to make this connection. Like I'm struggling or you have a praise report.

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You all, if you're getting breakthrough, come into the app and tell us about that too. We

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totally want to hear about your breakthrough just as much as we want to pray with you.

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Coach you through the hard stuff because some of y'all are gonna share about your breakthrough and it's gonna encourage your other sisters

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Who might be behind you on this journey?

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All right, come in and share with us

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You might say where do I share that if you go in the last year single app?

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You're gonna click on that community tab and you can create a post and you're gonna put it right in there for us

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All right on that note. I'm gonna pray we're gonna go right into the content for tonight father. Thank you

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Thank you for who you are

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Thank you for everything that you bring to us everything that you give us God

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I thank you that you fill our cups tonight God where we have felt empty where we felt confused where there's been chaos

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God where we have doubted your ability to

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Enable us to walk into a healthy relationship God, whatever that looks like God

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I pray that you would cleanse our hearts

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Cleanse our minds God that you would help us to become more secure in our identity in Christ that we would know exactly

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Lord more every day how you see us what you think about us and that you would silence every voice of the enemy

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Every fire fiery dart that you would just cast it down that you would knock it out from ever hitting us God

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Lord, I thank you that we would also be enabled to take an active role in guarding our hearts and our minds through Christ

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Jesus that you would continue to teach us how to do that

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Help us to have hearts that are soft and pliable to you and we ask you to bring anything out of darkness into light tonight

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Yes, Lord

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Give us revelation help us to hear what heaven is saying and help us to have the capacity to receive it in Jesus name

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Amen, we are talking about identity tonight and in our vows

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We're gonna be tracking through some really important stuff

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Some of y'all have heard this before but I talk about this all of the time

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Yes, I'm sometimes Deborah if you're on double it will create that echo for you

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I think I saw two of you earlier. So that might be

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Sometimes it can just be our speakers because I have that happen to

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But what I was gonna say is that you know, we may not know

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Our identity in Christ like we thought we did or we might not know like in the past

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We can only heal to the level of the capacity that we're able to receive it

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and so I try to talk about this a lot because

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so many people get frustrated when they feel like they're not moving fast enough or

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If there's something that they feel like they process before and it's coming back up

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Some of you might hear like depending on how long you're in the heartwork phase for yourself. You might hear us coach on

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Similar content every now and then because we go in it we go kind of in a cycle, right?

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Well, we always encourage you to come with a teachable heart because even if you heard this teaching whenever we did it

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I'm just gonna make this up. I think was like two months ago. It's approximately the cycle we're on right now

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You're a different person now than you were two months ago

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And you might have more capacity to receive even deeper revelation than you did two months ago

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and so I love to encourage you all to just stay open and

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Available to what God has for you tonight in a fresh way. So on that note, let's get you activated in the chat

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I love when you guys are engaging with me. It makes a great experience. So I'm gonna have you fill in the blank

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To a statement and I don't want you to hold anything back

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I don't want you to write what you think I want you to say

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I want you just to put in there literally what comes to your mind first, okay

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Doesn't matter if it's good doesn't matter if it's bad whatever comes up in yours mine in your spirit first

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That's what I want you to put in the chat

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Here is the statement. I

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am Oh

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Joy's ahead of me over there. I look at her. She already knows what I'm gonna say. I am fill in the blank. I

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am

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fill in the blank

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That's what we're doing right now

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All right, I'm blessed beautiful grateful beautiful anyone else

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I'm a champion. I'm stuck here. We're gonna work on that Sandra. You're making progress girl

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I'm a child of God. I'm on the precipice of Revelation. I'm thankful

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anyone else

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grateful

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They're coming in. I'm victorious

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I'm a delight. I love it. So, let me ask you a question. I love that. So many of you are thinking positive things

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In the last

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Two days, I'll give you two days. I

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Want you to fill in the blank with something negative that you heard I am

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Fill in the blank with something negative that you heard the enemy say to you.

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I am anxious. I am not worth it. Anyone else? I am unlovable.

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I'm afraid. I am never able to enjoy anything. I am not good enough.

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I'm not pretty enough for my own taste. I am gross.

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I am behind. I am inadequate. I am unwanted by God.

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You were always wanted, my friend. I am righteous enough.

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Sandra, God dreamed you up. I hope you know that.

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He dreamed you up and he was like, yes, I'm creating this awesome, amazing daughter.

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I'm so excited about this. That's how I imagine it. I think that is how God thinks about us.

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I think he's like, yeah, I got this to put into Sandra and this and this and she's amazing and

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she's going to shine and you know, but we think we're not wanted by him. So Father, I pray that

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you would just repair that breach. Yes, Lord, that you would repair that breach where that lie

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came in, help her to see how much you wanted her. Not just the day you created her, but always.

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Yeah, I know. I know it's not true, but it is what you heard. And so we want to get to the core.

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That's why I wanted you all to put these in here. Not that I want you to meditate on the negative

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things. Rosie, I'm put in there. It's too late, but I want you to see, you know, remember the

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enemy tries to prowl around like a roaring lion seeking those who he can devour. He's prowling

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around like a lion. He's not a lion because there's a lion of the tribe of Judah. The enemy

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is always trying to, you know, counterfeit God and Christ and the Holy Spirit. So his counterfeit

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is prowling around like he's a lion, like he has authority, but he doesn't. He doesn't have

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authority, you all. God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit do, and they gave it to us to walk it out on the

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earth. But the reality is that so many of us hear the lies and we believe the lies more than we

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believe the truth and the good things. So I wanted you to kind of see how those kind of the counter

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contradictions that are coming up. You guys are hearing a lot of good stuff, which is great.

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And I think a lot of us do think those things, but sometimes it's up here in our heads, but it's

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not down in our heart. So when the lies come in, we tend to believe those more. It's just easier.

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It tends to be easier. Why? Because there's a wound or wounds, multiple, down on the inside

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that are causing us to believe what's not true. All right, let's keep moving. So

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what thoughts, you know, as we put in the chat, you might have even more than that. I only asked

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you to put one in there, but I want you to think about what thoughts, and if you don't know, this

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is a great question to ask the Lord. What thoughts are you currently aligning with that are not God's

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truth over you and for you? So y'all can take the ones that you started here with. Like, I'm even

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going to, the one that keeps stating out to me is, Sarah V said, gross. She was filling in the blank.

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I'm gross. Well, let's, let's get to the core of that, Sarah V, because you're not gross.

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I don't even have to meet you to tell you that. Like, I know that God doesn't create anything

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that's a mistake or messed up. He says in Psalm 139 that we're fearfully and wonderfully made,

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y'all. He didn't forget anything. He didn't mess anything up. We might not feel like we're living

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up to the fullness of the potential that we have in our physical body or whatever that means,

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but we want to look into where's that coming from for us. What's led us to believe something

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like that about ourselves? All right, so where are you, what thoughts are you currently aligning

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with that are not God's truth over you and for you? And so we want to build a little bit on last

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week. If you didn't hear the session last week, that's totally fine. I'm going to give you a really

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brief catch-up, very brief catch-up. It was about Adam and Eve, and when they had sinned, they hid,

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and when they were hiding in the garden, God came looking for them. Y'all, here's, here's the kicker.

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Do you think that God did not know where they were? Let's just think about this for a sec.

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God, who knows all things, calls out to them, where are you?

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Why would he do that if he already knew?

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Well, I think it's because he calls us to respond to him, and he wants us to acknowledge

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where we are.

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Ooh, I feel the Holy Spirit on that.

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He wants us to acknowledge where we are.

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Where are you, son and daughter, where I never intended you to be?

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What are you partnering with that is not your truth?

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It's not your identity.

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So he calls out to them, where are you?

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And Adam responds, they were hiding, you know, Adam and God are having this conversation,

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and then God says to him, who told you that you were naked?

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You can read it.

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It's in Genesis chapter three.

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So this is kind of what I build this whole identity thing on.

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Who or what are you currently getting your identity from?

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What have you eaten, if you will, like they ate of the fruit of the knowledge of good

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and evil in the garden, and that opened their eyes to their nakedness, and then they felt

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shame for the first time ever in the Bible.

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That's why they hid.

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That's why they covered themselves up.

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So what have we eaten?

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What have we taken in through trauma?

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And hey, here's the thing.

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It doesn't even have to always be trauma that we personally experienced.

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It can be trauma that we witnessed.

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My mom, my oldest brother, and my sister were hit by a drunk driver when I was in the fourth

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grade, you all.

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It was really bad.

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Thankfully, my mom had some scratches, not too bad.

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My older brother was in a coma for a long time.

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My sister had a brain injury, had to have brain surgery.

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I'm in fourth grade.

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I think I was like eight years old.

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It was very scary to know my sister had brain surgery, and when we went to see her, she

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had all these bandages, you know, and it didn't end there.

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When my brother came out of the coma, he had to literally learn how to do everything again.

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They sent him to a rehab in another city, like an hour and a half from where we lived,

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maybe longer.

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My mom had to go back and forth all the time.

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This is my mom, who's a single mom, working a full-time job, having to now drive back

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and forth for my brother to see him in rehab.

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And sometimes my aunt and uncle lived in that city, so my mom would go there and stay,

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and we would have to stay with my grandparents, and so my mom was gone a lot.

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I was the youngest of four.

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Again, I was eight or nine.

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I think I was eight years old when that was going on.

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So while I didn't want to believe the lie that my mom, that I mattered less than other

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people, I believed that lie because my mom was gone a lot.

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It was really hard.

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And so that was something I witnessed.

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That's just one example.

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And so I took in lies, and it wasn't something, it's not like as a kid, I'm like, oh, I'm

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just going to believe that lie.

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I'm going to believe that lie.

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You know, it's like this is, as kids, we don't have the ability to like even ward, like hold

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those things off.

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And so my subconscious took that in, and I believed a lot of lies during that time.

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And there were a lot of bad things that happened, you know, in addition to that, and there was

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hard stuff.

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One lie built on top of another, on top of another.

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You guys can see how that works, right?

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And so it wasn't until way later in my mid-twenties that I was unpacking this stuff for the first

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time.

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It wasn't until I started doing the hard work and coaching the hard work that I saw the

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depth of how much that accident impacted me.

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Again, we don't know what we don't know until we know it.

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So maybe for you, it's something totally different.

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I just want you to be in discovery mode.

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Who or what are you currently getting your identity from?

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For a long time, I was getting part of my identity from the lie that I didn't matter.

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I was abandoned, because that's how it felt.

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What did people say to you that is not true?

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It is not from heaven.

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It does not sound like God the Father.

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And you might be like, well, I don't know what God sounds like.

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I don't even know what God says.

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All you have to do is go and read in the Word, you all.

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Read the words of Jesus, and you are going to learn who the Father is.

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You're going to learn love.

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You're going to see how He describes the Father, and it will help you on your journey as well.

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Who does the enemy say that you are?

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Remember that the enemy uses people to say stuff to us, but the enemy will also directly

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try to onslaught our minds sometimes with stuff.

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And then who does God say that you are?

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Last week, we started working on the silhouettes, and some of you all...

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Had already done those, I asked you to revisit those.

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Why did we do that before we got to this week?

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Well, because hopefully, as you started to ask God,

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who do you say that I am?

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And you're hearing his responses,

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and you're filtering out the negative stuff,

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and you're asking him to replace the negative with the truth.

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Now, here we are.

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Hopefully, this week, you're having a higher level of discernment

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to start to decipher, okay, this is the enemy.

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This isn't even my own thought that I'm having right now.

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This is the enemy, and this is God's voice.

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This is what God is saying about me.

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And so what this starts to do is it starts to cause us

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to understand what our root system looks like, right?

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Because if we start to realize these incidents

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and these traumas that we've been through,

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the things that we've witnessed, experienced,

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the things that we've ourselves done that also created trauma.

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Anyone else in that camp?

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I chose unhealthy people to date

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and to be in long relationships with,

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and it was really, really bad, right?

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So because of my choices,

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I also experienced trauma at the hands of those people.

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So I had to really look at my root system

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and where my root system

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and the counterfeit identities were leading me.

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Where are you getting your nutrients from?

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Like, what's down in your soil?

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Because remember, we're looking at the soil of our hearts.

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Remember, everything that goes into our hearts is reproduced.

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Yeah, Sandra, one of the most freeing things

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is when we actually pay attention to our thought life.

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We're gonna talk about that.

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It's gonna be part of the activation this week.

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When we really slow down, even myself,

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when I like, wait a minute.

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That's not my thought.

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That's not my thought.

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That's someone else's thought.

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That's the enemy's thought.

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You know, we start to decipher those things.

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We start to actually realize

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how many times we've believed those lies

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and lived into them too.

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But we don't have to do that anymore.

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That's the amazing thing.

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We get to, you know, as the Bible says,

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take every thought captive

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and cast it down and make it open.

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And cast it down and make it obedient to Jesus Christ,

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to the truth, to the blood,

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to the freedom that he died to give us.

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But before we can get there,

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before we can take those thoughts captive,

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we have to recognize them, right?

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So what's going on in the soil of your heart?

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What's feeding your heart?

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Luke 6 45 says in the NLT version,

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a good person produces good things

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from the treasury of a good heart.

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And an evil person produces evil things

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from the treasury of an evil heart.

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What you say or think flows from what is in your heart.

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So not only do we want to pay attention

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to what we're thinking,

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we want to pay attention to what we're saying.

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Remember out of the overflow of the heart,

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the mouth speaks.

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That's what that verse says.

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So what is your mouth telling you

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about what you really believe

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about your life and your situations?

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What is your mind telling you and revealing to you?

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Oh man, I'm saying I have faith in this area.

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I'm saying God loves me,

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but man, my mind and my mouth are saying,

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they're telling a different story.

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And again, I think we can actually like,

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I know God loves me.

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I know God loves me.

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I think we can think that at the same time.

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Y'all, it's like those little,

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you know, good angel and the devil.

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You know, you have a good thought

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and then like you have a bad thought.

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Anyone else have things concurrently happening

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at the same time?

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Because I've had that happen.

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It's like, how are these thoughts,

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you know, so different?

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Well, again, one is the voice of God

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and his love and his encouragement.

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The positive thoughts that you've already built

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because of success and healing and good things.

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Those neuropathways are in your brain.

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Well, so are the unhealthy neuropathways

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that have been created through trauma and pain.

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And God wants to help us rewrite that story.

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Remember that we will be transformed

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by the renewing of our mind,

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that all old things will pass away.

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Behold, everything will become new

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while the mind and the heart are connected.

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So if my soil down in here isn't good

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and I'm feeding off of lies and bad stuff

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that the enemy or other people have said to me,

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well, that's feeding my brain too

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because they're linked.

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So if you have been battling over and over,

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and again, I'm not saying,

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the enemy will assault your mind at times, y'all.

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Okay, that's just,

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it's just going to happen at some point.

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We don't have to be afraid of it.

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We just have to understand it.

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But the reality is,

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is we need to understand, too, if you're going around the same mountain over and over and over,

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and it's impacting you, like you have the same bad thoughts, the same bad thoughts about yourself,

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and you're like, how do I break free from this? We got to figure out where did it start in your

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heart? Do you see how that works? All right, cool. All right, we're gonna keep going.

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So are your roots giving you life or causing you to decay? Whether that's a slow decay or a quick

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one. Are your roots causing you to expect the worst while trying to have hope for the best?

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Are your roots causing you to partner with doubt and unbelief?

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So you might be like, well, how do I even tell what's in my roots? Well, we look at the fruit

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in our lives. We look at, like, again, what's coming out of our mouths, and what are the

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actions? What are we doing? What is the story of our lives? What kind of story is our life telling?

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And again, this isn't to shame you. The reality is, is we're coming out of shame and guilt and

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condemnation. Those are from the enemy. But when we look at our life story, when we look at where

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we have these hurts, habits, and hang-ups, where we keep getting stuck, or we really struggle to

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believe in something good happening, and not only just believing it, but actually following through

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to do it, that's a signal right away to us, okay? We want to look at the fruit that's in our hearts.

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So I'm going to talk briefly. You guys can go ahead and read in your heartwork books a little

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bit. I'm just going to have you all do it versus reading, taking the time. I want to have more

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coaching time tonight. So on pages 80 and 81, oh shoot, they might be a little different for you

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all. Let me, let me tell you what chapter it's in. And it's okay if you just started in the heartwork.

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You can read these couple pages. But it's going to be in chapter six, and it's the area

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where it starts with, what you believe about yourself, you become. Maybe I will read a little,

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little tidbits of this. What you believe about yourself, you become.

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So I want you to think about the wrong thoughts that are no longer just staying in your heart.

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They're multiplying like little bunnies in your fertile heart womb. And it's leading you,

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again, it's spilling out through the actions. You're becoming those things.

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So you want to look at the vicious cycle. So here's the process, okay? I'm going to walk you

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through it real quick. This again is in chapter six. It's in that same area, and it says the

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process. Number one, first we believe the lie, okay? This is an example. The lie tonight,

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and this is what's in the book, says I'm abandoned.

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Next, what happens is we speak the lie. Nobody is ever there for me. And y'all,

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we can think the lie and speak the lie, and they have the same effect.

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But when we start speaking stuff out of our mouths, we have power in the mouth.

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Number three, in this process, finally, we become the lie. We start having behavior

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toward isolation, and withdrawal from others creates a false sense of abandonment.

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Debra, that reminded me of your post today. I think I started responding to you on some of

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that stuff we were talking back and forth about. I just want to draw attention. That makes me

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00:28:32.400 --> 00:28:35.840
want to take some time on this, okay? Number three, there again, it says, finally, we become

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the lie. Behavior toward isolation and withdrawal from others creates a false sense of abandonment.

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Like, we believe the lie. They don't want us. They don't want to hang out with us. They're

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pulling back from us. When actually, I'm not saying it's never them pulling away, but a lot

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of the time, it's us pulling away. In some ways, it's us pulling away. And I'm not saying it's

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00:28:59.920 --> 00:29:06.800
it's us pulling away. In some way, shape, or form. So, you know, it's not about an easy fix,

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ladies, okay? This is about, like, you can't just make yourself stop believing a lie.

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You have to heal in your heart where the lie originated. You have to get to the root of the

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matter. This isn't something you're digging for. This is something, again, you're praying,

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you're asking the Lord to reveal things for healing, bringing things out of the darkness

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into the light so that you can be set free. You're trusting his timing in the revealing that's

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happening as well. All right? So, you take your time and you keep walking one step at a time.

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We're going to keep going. It also talks about the fruit, again, and I'll give you guys this

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other page. Let's see what chapter this one's in. Chapter 8. So, 6 and 8 have some verbiage

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about this fruit stuff you're wanting to pay attention to.

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Again, I have the actual hard copy book, so it's just a little different page-wise from

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yours.

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But the part I want to point out is we're not going to be able to replace the events

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that happened in our lives.

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We can't go back and change what happened.

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We can't change what we did.

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We can't change what other people did to us.

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But what we can replace is the lies we believed as a result of the trauma that we went through.

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And most importantly, the vows that we made internally as a result of them.

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So when we experience hurts in life that make us sad, when we're sad, that's when anger

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comes in.

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Anger is always the defender, you all.

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It always shows up when the wounded and vulnerable parts of our hearts feel threatened.

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So we talk about it in this community as anger is hurt's bodyguard.

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So when anger is around, we tend to feel strong.

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We start to make inner vows.

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Nobody is ever going to hurt me again.

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00:31:03.360 --> 00:31:05.000
I don't care about anybody.

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I can't trust anybody.

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I will never turn out like my mother.

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00:31:08.160 --> 00:31:10.120
I'm never going to be like my father.

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I won't be made a fool anymore.

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Nobody's ever going to tell me what to do.

442
00:31:14.600 --> 00:31:20.080
I can't tell anybody about this because if I did, they would never love me or accept

443
00:31:20.080 --> 00:31:21.840
me, fill in the blank.

444
00:31:21.840 --> 00:31:27.040
I will be perfect from now on so nobody can reject me.

445
00:31:27.040 --> 00:31:32.560
We make these decisions to harden our hearts subconsciously and in the moment it makes

446
00:31:32.560 --> 00:31:33.820
sense.

447
00:31:33.820 --> 00:31:38.600
We think if we make these vows and we build up these walls around our hearts that we can

448
00:31:38.600 --> 00:31:42.000
keep all of the bad things out.

449
00:31:42.000 --> 00:31:49.320
And unfortunately, walls are good at keeping things out, but they are not good at letting

450
00:31:49.320 --> 00:31:52.360
things in.

451
00:31:52.360 --> 00:31:59.120
To stop surviving and start thriving, we're going to have to let a lot of stuff in, okay?

452
00:31:59.120 --> 00:32:03.960
Love is a risk, you all, and it's a risk worth taking.

453
00:32:03.960 --> 00:32:09.000
As the lies in their corresponding vows are emerging to the surface, ladies, we have to

454
00:32:09.000 --> 00:32:15.960
replace them with the greater truth of God's story, of his word, what he speaks over you.

455
00:32:15.960 --> 00:32:19.520
And so we're going to talk briefly about inner vows.

456
00:32:19.520 --> 00:32:28.760
Inner vow, what it is, is a determination set in your mind and heart to protect yourself

457
00:32:28.760 --> 00:32:30.320
from pain.

458
00:32:30.320 --> 00:32:34.760
Again, this isn't necessarily even something you're doing intentionally, it's something

459
00:32:34.760 --> 00:32:44.680
subconsciously that can kick in, but some of us actually make choices to partner with this stuff.

460
00:32:44.680 --> 00:32:49.260
Romans 12, 2 says, do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing

461
00:32:49.260 --> 00:32:50.260
of your mind.

462
00:32:50.260 --> 00:32:58.520
Then you will be able to test what God's will is, his good, perfect, and pleasing will.

463
00:32:58.520 --> 00:33:05.320
Are you slowing down enough in the day-to-day of your life to recognize the things that

464
00:33:05.320 --> 00:33:09.640
you're partnering with that are not from heaven?

465
00:33:09.640 --> 00:33:10.640
They're not truth.

466
00:33:10.640 --> 00:33:15.720
I already went through a lot of inner vows, here are a couple other ones.

467
00:33:15.720 --> 00:33:22.440
I'll never date or marry a Larry or somebody with a certain ethnicity, or a guy with a

468
00:33:22.440 --> 00:33:23.440
certain job.

469
00:33:23.440 --> 00:33:27.160
We make these inner vows.

470
00:33:27.160 --> 00:33:29.200
I'm never going to let my guard down ever again.

471
00:33:29.200 --> 00:33:31.600
I don't know if I already said that one.

472
00:33:31.600 --> 00:33:36.080
I'll never let anyone hurt me ever again.

473
00:33:36.080 --> 00:33:38.800
And when we make those vows, ladies, guess what?

474
00:33:38.800 --> 00:33:44.320
When we say I'm never going to let anyone hurt me ever again, we're actually saying

475
00:33:44.320 --> 00:33:54.520
I'm not willing to risk getting hurt and love just isn't worth it.

476
00:33:54.520 --> 00:33:56.000
Love isn't worth the risk.

477
00:33:56.000 --> 00:33:58.000
It's not worth it.

478
00:33:58.000 --> 00:34:01.160
Subconsciously we're telling ourselves that.

479
00:34:01.160 --> 00:34:04.960
We just don't realize that's what we're doing.

480
00:34:04.960 --> 00:34:09.440
And so if you have been someone where you have just believed you're better off by yourself,

481
00:34:09.440 --> 00:34:16.400
I have so many ladies in this community that say it's just easier to be single.

482
00:34:16.400 --> 00:34:22.880
People that claim over and over and over again that they want to be married.

483
00:34:22.880 --> 00:34:26.159
Well, those contradict each other, don't they?

484
00:34:26.159 --> 00:34:27.159
They do.

485
00:34:27.159 --> 00:34:35.920
So we got to get to the root of when did we partner with the lie the first time?

486
00:34:35.920 --> 00:34:37.520
It's just easier for me to be single.

487
00:34:37.520 --> 00:34:39.199
It's just easier for me to not risk.

488
00:34:39.199 --> 00:34:40.199
Yes, Lord.

489
00:34:40.199 --> 00:34:42.000
Ooh, I felt that.

490
00:34:42.000 --> 00:34:44.760
It's just easier for me to not risk my heart.

491
00:34:44.760 --> 00:34:47.920
It's too painful to get hurt by people.

492
00:34:47.920 --> 00:34:52.760
Yeah, it is double-mindedness too, Debra.

493
00:34:52.760 --> 00:34:54.560
And again, we can't help it sometimes.

494
00:34:54.560 --> 00:34:56.400
God understands.

495
00:34:56.400 --> 00:35:00.040
He loves us and he's calling out to us to bring.

496
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:03.280
is out of the place of bondage and into freedom and truth.

497
00:35:07.920 --> 00:35:12.240
Yeah, I see you Sandra. I can tell God's meeting you right where you're at.

498
00:35:13.760 --> 00:35:15.920
He's really sorry for the people who have let you down.

499
00:35:19.200 --> 00:35:24.800
But just know not everybody's like that. There's some people that can love really good

500
00:35:25.360 --> 00:35:31.920
and really well. Not perfectly, because there's no one perfect. Jesus is the only one.

501
00:35:34.320 --> 00:35:40.000
But man, if we will just... I can remember when I was first dating Brian, the feeling of like,

502
00:35:41.840 --> 00:35:45.920
I'm scared. I'm a little scared to date because I really do like him.

503
00:35:46.720 --> 00:35:52.000
And now I'm faced with, well, what if I really start to keep liking him more and more and more?

504
00:35:52.080 --> 00:35:58.320
And what if he changes his mind about me? That's how I really felt at one point.

505
00:36:00.000 --> 00:36:04.480
What if he changes his mind and I'm just not what he wants?

506
00:36:05.920 --> 00:36:14.000
Y'all, I had to get past that and say, you know what? It's worth the risk. Because no matter what,

507
00:36:14.000 --> 00:36:18.160
I was growing and I was healing and I was experiencing something really great with him.

508
00:36:18.560 --> 00:36:22.800
And I had to trust that God and his goodness would lead me no matter what through,

509
00:36:23.520 --> 00:36:26.960
if it turned out amazing or if we didn't end up together.

510
00:36:27.600 --> 00:36:31.600
And that's where we are supernaturally surrendering all of it.

511
00:36:33.680 --> 00:36:41.200
All right. Do you ever make statements like always or never? I'm going to give you some examples.

512
00:36:41.680 --> 00:36:52.400
They always do that. Like, men always do that. Men always only want to talk about sex.

513
00:36:53.360 --> 00:36:59.440
All men want is always about sex. Y'all, I'm not saying it's not true with some men,

514
00:36:59.440 --> 00:37:03.840
but that is not how all men are. I know some of you, it's really hard to believe that

515
00:37:04.400 --> 00:37:07.680
because you have not had good experiences. I didn't either.

516
00:37:07.680 --> 00:37:13.760
But man, when you start dating someone that actually cares about covenant as much as you do

517
00:37:13.760 --> 00:37:21.760
and they value you as a person more than what your body can do for them, it's a game changer.

518
00:37:25.200 --> 00:37:33.120
But I had to believe there were men out there like that first. Because if I keep part, if I,

519
00:37:33.840 --> 00:37:37.440
if I would have kept partnering with, there's no good men. There's no good men. There's no

520
00:37:37.440 --> 00:37:44.000
everything you all listen. If we're saying that on repeat, guess what? Guess what kind of guys

521
00:37:44.000 --> 00:37:52.400
are going to get attracted to us? No good men, no good men, no good men. One right after the other.

522
00:37:53.600 --> 00:37:58.800
Now I still, even in the midst of finding Ryan, there were other men that were not healthy. I just

523
00:37:58.800 --> 00:38:03.920
recognized the red flags a lot quicker. And I didn't keep talking to those people. I blessed

524
00:38:03.920 --> 00:38:12.400
them and moved on. Yeah. Well, Debra, God's going to teach you how to not just fantasize about a

525
00:38:12.400 --> 00:38:16.560
man like that. You're going to start to meet men like that. But again, we got to get our heart

526
00:38:16.560 --> 00:38:22.560
right. We have to believe that it's not just, and here's the thing for you on that. There,

527
00:38:22.560 --> 00:38:26.480
there's a shift that has to happen for all of us where we don't just believe it's for everybody

528
00:38:27.440 --> 00:38:35.040
else. And it's not for us. So it's okay. It's good to believe and hope for that person,

529
00:38:35.040 --> 00:38:39.120
but we want to make sure we don't stay in fantasy land because that's us kind of checking out still.

530
00:38:39.120 --> 00:38:43.760
Does that make sense? But I understood what you were saying. You know, you're like, yeah,

531
00:38:43.760 --> 00:38:50.240
I want that guy, but here let's shift instead of, I want that guy. I want that guy. God, thank you

532
00:38:50.800 --> 00:38:56.880
that you're going to send me a spirit mate that honors my body. That loves me. That lives for you.

533
00:38:58.320 --> 00:39:05.040
It's a shift. It's a shift that happens on the inside. Here's some other ones. I always get

534
00:39:05.040 --> 00:39:11.520
passed over. And if y'all believe in that, you feel like, you know, you're waiting in line and

535
00:39:11.520 --> 00:39:15.680
you're just waiting and waiting and waiting. And everybody just keeps going to the front

536
00:39:15.680 --> 00:39:19.280
of the line in front of you. God just keeps taking everybody else to the front of the line.

537
00:39:21.040 --> 00:39:25.360
Some of you have felt that, but you haven't been able to put words to it, but I'm telling you

538
00:39:25.360 --> 00:39:29.600
there's a lie where you actually believe God is passing you over.

539
00:39:30.800 --> 00:39:37.120
And so one of the things I love to do is encourage you all to really pray and envision yourself in

540
00:39:37.120 --> 00:39:44.240
that line. And then I want you to ask Jesus where he's at in the line. And then I want you to ask

541
00:39:44.240 --> 00:39:49.760
him to help you understand that you're always at the front of the line and that the line is

542
00:39:49.760 --> 00:39:55.040
actually different than how you've been perceiving it. See, we perceive it as the line, there's

543
00:39:55.040 --> 00:39:59.920
somebody in the front and then buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, like it goes back. But in God,

544
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:02.920
This world, y'all guess what?

545
00:40:02.920 --> 00:40:04.200
We're side by side.

546
00:40:06.080 --> 00:40:07.980
We're all first.

547
00:40:07.980 --> 00:40:10.400
We're all first, ladies.

548
00:40:12.680 --> 00:40:14.560
Can you get it in your spirit?

549
00:40:14.560 --> 00:40:16.360
We're all first.

550
00:40:16.360 --> 00:40:18.920
We were at Austin back in 2021.

551
00:40:18.920 --> 00:40:20.160
We were out for this thing.

552
00:40:20.160 --> 00:40:21.420
Jackie was activating us.

553
00:40:21.420 --> 00:40:22.880
We were all wearing white.

554
00:40:22.880 --> 00:40:24.300
We had these bride sashes on.

555
00:40:24.300 --> 00:40:26.480
I was totally embarrassed to get out of the car.

556
00:40:26.480 --> 00:40:27.980
You all, I was.

557
00:40:28.540 --> 00:40:32.220
Cause I was a bride before and it didn't work.

558
00:40:32.220 --> 00:40:36.140
And so I'm like, oh man, I gotta really face this now.

559
00:40:37.260 --> 00:40:38.780
Do I really believe I'm a bride?

560
00:40:38.780 --> 00:40:40.760
Cause I'm about to get out of this car

561
00:40:40.760 --> 00:40:42.860
with this bride sash on.

562
00:40:42.860 --> 00:40:44.160
That was step one.

563
00:40:45.460 --> 00:40:46.600
Well, we had a big group of us.

564
00:40:46.600 --> 00:40:48.300
There were like 30 of us.

565
00:40:48.300 --> 00:40:50.500
And some of the people, the restaurant place

566
00:40:50.500 --> 00:40:52.820
we were going to, there's like bars around there,

567
00:40:52.820 --> 00:40:53.660
stuff too.

568
00:40:53.660 --> 00:40:54.940
So there was these people that had been drinking.

569
00:40:54.940 --> 00:40:57.060
This one guy, I'll never forget.

570
00:40:57.060 --> 00:41:01.080
He walks up and he's like, you're a bride.

571
00:41:01.080 --> 00:41:03.140
And then he's like, wait, you're a bride.

572
00:41:03.140 --> 00:41:04.460
And he was like so confused.

573
00:41:04.460 --> 00:41:06.260
Cause there was like a ton of us.

574
00:41:06.260 --> 00:41:07.700
We were all brides, right?

575
00:41:08.860 --> 00:41:11.060
And so we, like some of us started laughing

576
00:41:11.060 --> 00:41:12.580
and I was like, I'm a bride.

577
00:41:12.580 --> 00:41:13.420
You're a bride.

578
00:41:13.420 --> 00:41:14.620
She's a bride.

579
00:41:14.620 --> 00:41:16.780
It just kind of broke out in the spirit.

580
00:41:16.780 --> 00:41:19.880
Like we all started receiving it.

581
00:41:19.880 --> 00:41:22.360
Can I tell you that almost everyone

582
00:41:22.360 --> 00:41:24.440
from that trip is married?

583
00:41:25.440 --> 00:41:28.720
Something divine happened on that.

584
00:41:28.720 --> 00:41:30.280
But I want to tell you, you don't have to be

585
00:41:30.280 --> 00:41:32.860
on that trip to receive what we received there.

586
00:41:34.720 --> 00:41:37.240
Den, do you believe that you're side by side

587
00:41:37.240 --> 00:41:39.140
with your sisters in God's heart?

588
00:41:40.000 --> 00:41:44.680
He's not like, oh, Karina, get to the back of the line.

589
00:41:44.680 --> 00:41:46.260
It's not your time yet.

590
00:41:47.360 --> 00:41:52.360
Now he might be saying, hey, Karina, or Alice, or Paige.

591
00:41:52.480 --> 00:41:57.480
Like, I have some stuff I need you to process first

592
00:41:57.560 --> 00:42:01.120
because I want you to get my best.

593
00:42:01.120 --> 00:42:05.880
Not just good, not just, meh, it's good enough.

594
00:42:05.880 --> 00:42:08.400
No, I want you to have my best.

595
00:42:08.400 --> 00:42:10.160
So I need to heal some stuff in you

596
00:42:10.160 --> 00:42:12.500
so you can actually receive it.

597
00:42:16.960 --> 00:42:18.740
That's what he does.

598
00:42:18.740 --> 00:42:22.080
Yeah, I mean, y'all, I feel like this is a huge revelation.

599
00:42:22.800 --> 00:42:24.200
I hope you're letting it sink in.

600
00:42:25.680 --> 00:42:27.140
Side by side.

601
00:42:28.640 --> 00:42:30.640
So you can celebrate your sister's wins

602
00:42:30.640 --> 00:42:31.480
because you know what?

603
00:42:31.480 --> 00:42:33.880
Her getting her win doesn't mean you don't get yours

604
00:42:33.880 --> 00:42:35.440
unless you believe it does.

605
00:42:36.720 --> 00:42:39.280
Her being beautiful doesn't make you not beautiful.

606
00:42:42.080 --> 00:42:43.200
Do you believe it?

607
00:42:45.880 --> 00:42:46.720
Here's another one.

608
00:42:46.720 --> 00:42:49.040
Men never come through for me.

609
00:42:49.040 --> 00:42:51.040
Remember, always or never?

610
00:42:51.640 --> 00:42:56.640
These are signaling to you inner vows at work in your heart.

611
00:42:56.640 --> 00:42:58.660
Men never come through for me.

612
00:42:58.660 --> 00:43:01.440
Maybe for you is I call people for help

613
00:43:01.440 --> 00:43:04.580
and nobody ever helps me.

614
00:43:04.580 --> 00:43:07.280
It's kind of the same kind of thing, always, never.

615
00:43:07.280 --> 00:43:09.840
Nobody ever helps me.

616
00:43:11.220 --> 00:43:13.320
Now, I'm not saying those things haven't been true

617
00:43:13.320 --> 00:43:14.840
at some point in your life.

618
00:43:14.840 --> 00:43:15.940
Maybe they have.

619
00:43:17.120 --> 00:43:20.140
But are you ready to believe that God can change that?

620
00:43:22.040 --> 00:43:24.920
Men never pick heavier women.

621
00:43:24.920 --> 00:43:26.720
We've had women literally tell us this.

622
00:43:26.720 --> 00:43:30.920
You all, we have brides of all shapes and sizes, ages.

623
00:43:30.920 --> 00:43:32.640
I'm telling you.

624
00:43:32.640 --> 00:43:34.080
Now, God wants you to be healthy.

625
00:43:34.080 --> 00:43:36.000
He wants you to care about your body.

626
00:43:36.000 --> 00:43:38.240
So I'm not trying to encourage people to just be like,

627
00:43:38.240 --> 00:43:41.480
I can eat whatever I want and the guy just has to love me.

628
00:43:41.480 --> 00:43:44.860
No, we want guys to look good, don't we?

629
00:43:44.860 --> 00:43:46.000
Don't we, ladies?

630
00:43:46.000 --> 00:43:49.160
All right, well then we have to do the work too, okay?

631
00:43:49.160 --> 00:43:51.040
All right, we're gonna leave that one there for tonight,

632
00:43:51.040 --> 00:43:52.600
but it's true.

633
00:43:52.600 --> 00:43:55.200
Some of us are like, I want the guy

634
00:43:55.200 --> 00:43:57.340
just to like me how I am.

635
00:43:57.340 --> 00:43:58.920
We literally have ladies in this group,

636
00:43:58.920 --> 00:44:00.800
in this community that tell us that.

637
00:44:00.800 --> 00:44:04.240
But then they're like, I want my guy to be super fit

638
00:44:04.240 --> 00:44:06.640
and I want him to work out and I want him to,

639
00:44:06.640 --> 00:44:07.840
I'm like, wait a minute.

640
00:44:10.240 --> 00:44:13.520
Hold up here, that doesn't go together.

641
00:44:13.520 --> 00:44:15.560
Y'all, that doesn't go, get this.

642
00:44:16.400 --> 00:44:19.800
Women get mad when men that go work out at gyms

643
00:44:19.800 --> 00:44:21.520
want to meet a woman that's fit.

644
00:44:24.480 --> 00:44:25.560
Why?

645
00:44:25.560 --> 00:44:27.200
Why are we getting mad at that?

646
00:44:28.800 --> 00:44:30.120
That's his lifestyle.

647
00:44:31.100 --> 00:44:33.400
It's actually smart for him to partner with someone

648
00:44:33.400 --> 00:44:37.480
that has the same lifestyle, right?

649
00:44:37.480 --> 00:44:38.560
This has to be for somebody

650
00:44:38.560 --> 00:44:41.840
because I had no plans for any of this.

651
00:44:42.840 --> 00:44:46.280
Some of y'all are getting really mad at men

652
00:44:47.720 --> 00:44:50.760
in your heart over all kinds of stuff.

653
00:44:50.760 --> 00:44:52.520
And God is asking you to come out of alignment

654
00:44:52.520 --> 00:44:53.360
with it tonight.

655
00:44:53.360 --> 00:44:54.600
Okay, let's keep going.

656
00:44:54.600 --> 00:44:56.080
I've never seen or noticed,

657
00:44:56.080 --> 00:44:58.160
that's the last one I have for you on that.

658
00:44:58.160 --> 00:44:59.640
I've never seen.

659
00:44:59.640 --> 00:45:00.480
I'm never.

660
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:07.680
notice. I'm always overlooked. Let's show up with a different heart. God, thank you so much for

661
00:45:07.680 --> 00:45:13.200
highlighting me to my spirit mate and to healthy friends. God, thank you so much for giving me

662
00:45:13.200 --> 00:45:17.840
favor with God and man when I'm interviewing. Y'all, this isn't just about the spirit mate.

663
00:45:17.840 --> 00:45:22.640
The spirit mate's the cherry on top. Where else do you need healing? God wants to give you

664
00:45:22.640 --> 00:45:29.680
everything that you need in this season. He is for you. So here is the breakout question.

665
00:45:30.960 --> 00:45:36.000
What inner vow or intrusive negative thought have you been partnering with that you're going to

666
00:45:36.000 --> 00:45:41.920
come out of alignment with tonight? What inner vow or intrusive negative thought have you been

667
00:45:41.920 --> 00:45:45.280
partnering with? And you're going to say, okay, I'm coming out of agreement with this tonight.

668
00:45:46.320 --> 00:45:51.600
And if you don't know yet, it's okay. You can say that in the group, but don't just default to that.

669
00:45:52.400 --> 00:45:55.840
Try to talk about it a little bit. You might even say, I don't really know for sure,

670
00:45:55.840 --> 00:46:00.720
but this is the memory or this is the thought that's coming up in my spirit. Y'all, it's okay

671
00:46:00.720 --> 00:46:05.680
to do that kind of stuff because some of us, it is hard to identify it right out of the gate.

672
00:46:05.680 --> 00:46:10.560
All right. Okay. So let me get these breakout rooms ready. This is going to be really good.

673
00:46:10.560 --> 00:46:16.880
If you, if you embrace this and the breakouts tonight and you really lean into it. Okay.

674
00:46:20.000 --> 00:46:23.120
I'm excited for y'all. Let's do, um,

675
00:46:23.360 --> 00:46:25.440
if I have two, four, six,

676
00:46:28.240 --> 00:46:31.840
I wish I could do like six and a half minutes, seven minutes. Sometimes it feels too long.

677
00:46:31.840 --> 00:46:35.920
All right. Six minutes. If there's three of you in a room, you have two minutes each. If there's

678
00:46:35.920 --> 00:46:40.800
two of you, I have three minutes each short, brief, and powerful. Be very aware of other

679
00:46:40.800 --> 00:46:45.200
people in the room. Please don't just keep talking and not give them a chance. Okay.

680
00:46:45.200 --> 00:46:48.960
All right, ladies, go ahead and click those to join as quick as you can so that you have more

681
00:46:48.960 --> 00:46:54.720
Right. As soon as we get people situated for those that aren't able to join the breakout,

682
00:46:54.720 --> 00:47:02.800
I will pray as well as for those on replay. All right. Let's move her here.

683
00:47:18.960 --> 00:47:26.800
I think I got everyone.

684
00:47:34.560 --> 00:47:40.800
All right, Lord. Thank you so much. Oh, I have one more. Sorry, ladies.

685
00:47:43.440 --> 00:47:46.800
Thank you, Lord, so much for everything you're doing in our hearts and our lives.

686
00:47:46.800 --> 00:47:49.920
God, I thank you for the revealings for healing that are happening.

687
00:47:51.760 --> 00:47:56.800
Yes, Lord. Thank you for fresh grace on grace upon grace to help us

688
00:47:58.320 --> 00:48:03.760
be transformed on from the inside out. Lord, I thank you that you would help us to identify

689
00:48:03.760 --> 00:48:09.600
inner vows that we've made always and never statements or anything similar to that, that

690
00:48:10.160 --> 00:48:16.160
these limiting belief systems. Oh, Sarah. Yes. You're in a group. You were already in one.

691
00:48:16.160 --> 00:48:18.480
It just it showed that you didn't join the room.

692
00:48:21.440 --> 00:48:25.760
Let me see if I still have to only to see now I have three people in every room.

693
00:48:28.000 --> 00:48:32.480
All right. I'll just put you in a room. It might be really tight for everybody to share.

694
00:48:33.600 --> 00:48:36.320
Go ahead. That should be up on your screen to join that room.

695
00:48:37.040 --> 00:48:40.080
Hopefully you can see that. All right.

696
00:48:42.240 --> 00:48:45.280
Father, I pray that you would help that group navigate that really well,

697
00:48:45.280 --> 00:48:49.280
that they have four people in the group. But Lord, I thank you that you would just continue

698
00:48:49.280 --> 00:48:53.440
as I was praying that you would help us to recognize the intrusive thoughts,

699
00:48:54.000 --> 00:48:58.800
limiting belief systems, places where we've put ourself in timeout. We have chosen to not move

700
00:48:58.800 --> 00:49:04.000
forward, whether that's in the heart or in the mind. We have chosen to not move forward.

701
00:49:04.960 --> 00:49:09.520
Whether that's in the heartwork, whether that's in an area in our lives, God, and we have just

702
00:49:09.520 --> 00:49:13.920
parked ourselves like believing the lie that we're not ready, that we're not good enough,

703
00:49:13.920 --> 00:49:17.920
that we're not healed enough, whatever that is. Lord, I thank you that we'll come out of

704
00:49:17.920 --> 00:49:23.200
alignment with those thoughts and we'll come into alignment with the truth of heaven tonight over us.

705
00:49:24.720 --> 00:49:29.840
Ephesians 4, 27 in the Amplified Version says this. Do not give the place to the enemy. Don't

706
00:49:29.920 --> 00:49:34.720
give him legal access to your life and your family. And do not give the devil an opportunity

707
00:49:34.720 --> 00:49:39.200
to lead you into sin by holding a grudge or nurturing anger or harboring resentment or

708
00:49:39.200 --> 00:49:45.520
cultivating bitterness. So Lord, we just thank you that you would help us to just ask you to

709
00:49:45.520 --> 00:49:51.760
remove the bitter root in our hearts where we have any resentment, unforgiveness, where it's

710
00:49:51.760 --> 00:49:57.440
entangled us to the thoughts and the trauma and the situations of the past. God, I thank you that

711
00:49:57.440 --> 00:49:59.840
you're rewriting our stories. I thank you that you...

712
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:04.440
Give us the courage and the tenacity and the perseverance

713
00:50:04.440 --> 00:50:07.120
that we need to walk this process out.

714
00:50:07.120 --> 00:50:08.080
And I thank you, God,

715
00:50:08.080 --> 00:50:10.420
that you would help us to forgive ourselves.

716
00:50:11.680 --> 00:50:13.880
Lord, so often we forgive other people

717
00:50:13.880 --> 00:50:15.560
and we hold ourselves hostage.

718
00:50:15.560 --> 00:50:18.020
I pray that you would just help us to have a vision tonight

719
00:50:18.020 --> 00:50:20.800
of the prison gate being open,

720
00:50:20.800 --> 00:50:22.140
that you're calling to us

721
00:50:22.140 --> 00:50:24.120
and you're calling us out of those places

722
00:50:24.120 --> 00:50:27.280
into the full measure of your plan

723
00:50:27.280 --> 00:50:28.680
and your purpose for us, God,

724
00:50:28.680 --> 00:50:31.760
that you are smiling upon us tonight.

725
00:50:31.760 --> 00:50:32.920
I thank you, God, that you,

726
00:50:32.920 --> 00:50:34.460
like, I just believe that, God,

727
00:50:34.460 --> 00:50:37.660
you're turning your face towards us, God.

728
00:50:37.660 --> 00:50:39.920
And I just thank you for the blessing that comes

729
00:50:39.920 --> 00:50:43.700
from your countenance being turned towards us.

730
00:50:43.700 --> 00:50:46.480
God, I thank you that we would recognize your kindness,

731
00:50:46.480 --> 00:50:48.380
your goodness, your faithfulness,

732
00:50:49.800 --> 00:50:53.140
that we would, yeah, Lord, I just, I love this.

733
00:50:53.140 --> 00:50:55.560
I just accidentally turned to this page.

734
00:50:55.560 --> 00:50:58.120
I feel there was something on that bitterness earlier

735
00:50:58.120 --> 00:50:59.720
and I didn't even realize I just had,

736
00:50:59.720 --> 00:51:01.400
I was flipping the page with my left hand

737
00:51:01.400 --> 00:51:03.520
and then I just kind of stopped as I was praying

738
00:51:03.520 --> 00:51:05.880
and I'm right on the cycle of bitterness.

739
00:51:05.880 --> 00:51:06.920
And this is what it says.

740
00:51:06.920 --> 00:51:09.280
Number one, holding a grudge.

741
00:51:09.280 --> 00:51:11.740
Number two, nurturing anger.

742
00:51:11.740 --> 00:51:13.940
Number three, harboring resentment.

743
00:51:13.940 --> 00:51:16.900
Number four, cultivating bitterness.

744
00:51:19.240 --> 00:51:21.280
I pray that if we're doing any of these things,

745
00:51:21.280 --> 00:51:23.920
if we're in any part of this bitterness cycle, God,

746
00:51:23.920 --> 00:51:28.640
that we would just, Lord, be honest first and foremost

747
00:51:28.640 --> 00:51:31.520
with ourselves, with you,

748
00:51:31.520 --> 00:51:35.120
and that we would let go of grudges that we're holding.

749
00:51:36.620 --> 00:51:39.280
Yes, Lord, I thank you that we would not nurture anger

750
00:51:39.280 --> 00:51:42.680
towards people or like that we would not nurture anger

751
00:51:42.680 --> 00:51:45.120
towards you, God, or towards ourselves.

752
00:51:46.360 --> 00:51:49.680
Yes, Lord, where there's self-hatred, self-loathing,

753
00:51:50.680 --> 00:51:53.800
God, we just ask you to bring healing to those places

754
00:51:54.960 --> 00:51:58.000
and that you would help us to show kindness to ourselves

755
00:51:58.000 --> 00:52:00.320
just like we would to another person.

756
00:52:00.320 --> 00:52:02.480
And Lord, if we struggle to be kind to other people,

757
00:52:02.480 --> 00:52:05.560
I thank you that you would give us the grace and love

758
00:52:05.560 --> 00:52:08.560
and the capacity to be kind to people in the days to come.

759
00:52:08.560 --> 00:52:11.280
The more that we heal, the more that we grow, God,

760
00:52:11.280 --> 00:52:13.280
that we would see other people through your eyes

761
00:52:13.280 --> 00:52:15.840
and we would see ourself through your eyes as well.

762
00:52:15.840 --> 00:52:16.680
Let's see here.

763
00:52:19.680 --> 00:52:22.560
James 1, two through four in the Passion Translation

764
00:52:22.560 --> 00:52:24.720
says this, my fellow believers,

765
00:52:24.720 --> 00:52:26.480
when it seems as though you are facing

766
00:52:26.480 --> 00:52:28.560
nothing but difficulties,

767
00:52:28.560 --> 00:52:31.120
see it as an invaluable opportunity

768
00:52:31.120 --> 00:52:35.040
to experience the greatest joy that you can.

769
00:52:35.040 --> 00:52:36.880
For you know that when your faith is tested,

770
00:52:36.880 --> 00:52:40.560
it stirs up power within you to endure all things.

771
00:52:40.560 --> 00:52:42.640
And then as your endurance grows,

772
00:52:42.640 --> 00:52:46.640
it will release perfection into every part of your being

773
00:52:47.600 --> 00:52:51.760
until there is nothing missing and nothing lacking.

774
00:52:51.760 --> 00:52:55.840
Yes, praise the Lord that he will fill us up.

775
00:52:55.840 --> 00:52:56.680
I love that.

776
00:52:56.680 --> 00:52:59.760
It will release perfection into every part of your being

777
00:52:59.760 --> 00:53:02.960
until there is nothing missing and nothing lacking.

778
00:53:02.960 --> 00:53:06.320
What a powerful statement in James 1, two through four

779
00:53:06.320 --> 00:53:07.920
in the Passion Translation.

780
00:53:07.920 --> 00:53:08.760
Amen.

781
00:53:08.760 --> 00:53:11.240
What a powerful statement in James 1, two through four

782
00:53:11.240 --> 00:53:13.000
in the Passion Translation.

783
00:53:13.000 --> 00:53:15.320
I pray and hope that you all will meditate on that

784
00:53:15.320 --> 00:53:18.440
and let it fill you up with joy

785
00:53:18.440 --> 00:53:20.920
that God is continuing to heal you

786
00:53:20.920 --> 00:53:24.440
and bring you into his perfection, if you will.

787
00:53:24.440 --> 00:53:25.280
It doesn't mean we-

788
00:53:25.280 --> 00:53:28.280
Oh, sorry, I'm getting a little feedback.

789
00:53:28.280 --> 00:53:30.360
It doesn't mean, yeah, sorry about that.

790
00:53:30.360 --> 00:53:31.640
It doesn't mean we have to be perfect,

791
00:53:31.640 --> 00:53:36.200
but he wants to put his own perfection inside of us,

792
00:53:36.840 --> 00:53:40.360
that healing and the redemption that's taking place.

793
00:53:40.360 --> 00:53:41.160
Praise the Lord.

794
00:53:41.160 --> 00:53:41.800
Welcome back.

795
00:53:41.800 --> 00:53:43.480
I've been having a good time here.

796
00:53:43.480 --> 00:53:46.040
I know one group ended up having four people.

797
00:53:46.040 --> 00:53:46.840
Sorry about that,

798
00:53:47.480 --> 00:53:50.520
but hopefully y'all were able to make it work a little bit.

799
00:53:50.520 --> 00:53:52.520
If somebody didn't get to share their story

800
00:53:52.520 --> 00:53:54.200
in any of the groups, okay,

801
00:53:54.760 --> 00:53:58.360
always know that you can come into the main group and share

802
00:53:58.360 --> 00:53:59.800
and we will respond to you there

803
00:53:59.800 --> 00:54:02.600
and your sisters will cheer you on there as well.

804
00:54:02.600 --> 00:54:03.800
All right, very quickly.

805
00:54:03.800 --> 00:54:05.320
And then I'm gonna come to Amanda.

806
00:54:05.320 --> 00:54:06.600
For those of you that are brand new,

807
00:54:06.600 --> 00:54:08.040
this is when we do our group coaching.

808
00:54:09.080 --> 00:54:11.400
And so I'll open it up for anybody to share

809
00:54:11.400 --> 00:54:13.400
what they shared in the private group

810
00:54:13.400 --> 00:54:15.000
and then we'll go from there.

811
00:54:15.000 --> 00:54:17.320
But really quick, and I'll put this in the group.

812
00:54:17.320 --> 00:54:19.320
Y'all don't have to necessarily write it down.

813
00:54:20.520 --> 00:54:22.760
Our activations for this week, there's two of them.

814
00:54:24.040 --> 00:54:27.240
Caught a thought is what I call number one, okay?

815
00:54:27.960 --> 00:54:31.400
You're gonna work on tracking your thoughts this week, okay?

816
00:54:31.400 --> 00:54:34.760
Slowing down, paying attention to your thoughts,

817
00:54:34.760 --> 00:54:38.040
how many of the thoughts that you're having are negative.

818
00:54:38.840 --> 00:54:40.760
And remember, if you're having negative thoughts,

819
00:54:40.760 --> 00:54:41.560
what do you do with them?

820
00:54:41.560 --> 00:54:43.160
We learned this last week.

821
00:54:43.160 --> 00:54:46.040
You write them down, you cross them out,

822
00:54:46.040 --> 00:54:48.360
and then you ask God to replace the truth,

823
00:54:49.960 --> 00:54:52.520
or excuse me, to replace the lie with truth.

824
00:54:52.520 --> 00:54:55.000
And if you don't know how to do that process, it's okay.

825
00:54:55.000 --> 00:54:57.160
Again, there's never a dumb question, okay?

826
00:54:57.800 --> 00:54:59.960
You can come into the group and ask us, be like.

827
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:03.200
I don't really know how to know what the truth is, okay?

828
00:55:03.200 --> 00:55:07.840
We do have an activation that we'll do, I'm not sure if it's next week or the week after that,

829
00:55:07.840 --> 00:55:10.560
but it will help you start to work on that more.

830
00:55:10.560 --> 00:55:13.600
Okay, what thoughts have you caught and stopped?

831
00:55:13.600 --> 00:55:17.200
I want you to celebrate when you stop partnering with these lies,

832
00:55:17.200 --> 00:55:19.120
where you start to see growth in yourself like,

833
00:55:19.120 --> 00:55:22.560
oh my gosh, even two weeks ago I used to believe this lie,

834
00:55:22.560 --> 00:55:25.520
and I don't anymore, and you're stopping it in its tracks.

835
00:55:26.240 --> 00:55:31.280
Celebrating yourselves is going to be one of the most powerful things you can do in this process.

836
00:55:31.280 --> 00:55:34.480
So many of us, we're always looking at what we haven't accomplished yet,

837
00:55:34.480 --> 00:55:38.400
where we haven't gotten yet, and God is like, hey sis, hey daughter,

838
00:55:39.680 --> 00:55:42.960
like stop and celebrate how far you've come.

839
00:55:42.960 --> 00:55:44.560
You're accomplishing so much.

840
00:55:45.520 --> 00:55:49.280
I even said that to a lady tonight, she's been helping us a ton,

841
00:55:49.280 --> 00:55:51.360
but like she's like, I've hardly done anything.

842
00:55:51.360 --> 00:55:54.400
I was like, you don't have a good assessment of yourself, I don't think.

843
00:55:54.880 --> 00:55:56.240
That's what I said to her.

844
00:55:56.240 --> 00:55:57.920
I was like, because you've been doing a ton.

845
00:55:57.920 --> 00:55:59.280
Okay, but we do that, right?

846
00:56:00.560 --> 00:56:02.960
We're like really harsh critics of ourselves.

847
00:56:02.960 --> 00:56:04.480
So then I want you to come in the group.

848
00:56:04.480 --> 00:56:06.400
So you're going to, how many thoughts are negative?

849
00:56:06.400 --> 00:56:08.000
You're going to track your thoughts.

850
00:56:08.000 --> 00:56:09.680
How many have you stopped?

851
00:56:09.680 --> 00:56:11.520
Don't feel like you have to keep a whole long list,

852
00:56:11.520 --> 00:56:15.600
but you come in the group and share as that stuff is happening,

853
00:56:15.600 --> 00:56:16.400
and create a post.

854
00:56:16.400 --> 00:56:17.280
We want to hear about it.

855
00:56:17.280 --> 00:56:19.280
We want to know how you're getting breakthrough,

856
00:56:19.280 --> 00:56:21.040
and even maybe where you're struggling like,

857
00:56:21.040 --> 00:56:25.280
oh my gosh, I had this thought for like three hours today,

858
00:56:25.280 --> 00:56:28.240
and then I realized I was having this negative thought.

859
00:56:28.240 --> 00:56:29.520
Come and talk to us about that.

860
00:56:29.520 --> 00:56:32.800
You will be surprised how many people are in the same boat as you.

861
00:56:32.800 --> 00:56:35.840
Number two, activation number two, inner vows.

862
00:56:36.960 --> 00:56:39.680
Okay, I want you to create a post in the group

863
00:56:39.680 --> 00:56:43.840
about what the Lord is revealing to you about inner vows.

864
00:56:43.840 --> 00:56:46.400
Because we only have a little bit of time to coach as a group.

865
00:56:46.960 --> 00:56:49.120
I hope a lot of you are like,

866
00:56:49.120 --> 00:56:52.080
oh, I've had that inner vow.

867
00:56:53.440 --> 00:56:55.200
And if you don't have that experience yet,

868
00:56:55.200 --> 00:56:57.520
I hope that you will in the days to come.

869
00:56:57.520 --> 00:56:59.360
But come in and talk to us about it.

870
00:56:59.360 --> 00:57:02.480
And even if you're like, I still don't know what an inner vow is,

871
00:57:03.680 --> 00:57:05.680
that's okay too, right?

872
00:57:05.680 --> 00:57:10.320
Again, I promise my coaches and myself are never going to be like,

873
00:57:10.320 --> 00:57:11.920
why are you asking that question?

874
00:57:12.480 --> 00:57:14.000
You should already know that.

875
00:57:14.000 --> 00:57:16.880
We are never going to say that to you, okay?

876
00:57:17.600 --> 00:57:19.920
Remember, I already know, and so does my team,

877
00:57:20.640 --> 00:57:23.920
we only have so much capacity to retain information.

878
00:57:24.720 --> 00:57:27.440
Our world is unindated with information.

879
00:57:27.440 --> 00:57:32.240
And then I come and teach you guys, coach you guys for a good 45 minutes.

880
00:57:33.760 --> 00:57:35.120
That's a lot of listening, right?

881
00:57:36.080 --> 00:57:38.480
There's only so much you can retain.

882
00:57:38.480 --> 00:57:39.600
Okay, we know that.

883
00:57:39.600 --> 00:57:41.440
So we do not think anything negative.

884
00:57:41.440 --> 00:57:43.360
Post your questions, ask us what you need to,

885
00:57:43.360 --> 00:57:44.400
and we'll help you from there.

886
00:57:44.400 --> 00:57:46.960
All right, Amanda, hello.

887
00:57:46.960 --> 00:57:48.400
I would love to hear what you have to say.

888
00:57:50.000 --> 00:57:51.280
Um, hi.

889
00:57:52.560 --> 00:57:56.640
So one of the things that I've kind of been dealing with,

890
00:57:58.880 --> 00:58:03.120
so I'm finishing up everything from phase one,

891
00:58:03.120 --> 00:58:07.760
and I'm feeling like some anxiety about moving forward.

892
00:58:08.560 --> 00:58:12.560
Because one of a stuck point, inner vow, intrusive negative thought

893
00:58:12.560 --> 00:58:16.800
that keeps coming up is like men cannot be trusted.

894
00:58:17.760 --> 00:58:22.880
And so it's something that just like this distrust keeps coming up.

895
00:58:22.880 --> 00:58:28.160
So it's like how to work through some of those things,

896
00:58:28.160 --> 00:58:36.080
like how to, like really, I just want to feel like trust and security.

897
00:58:36.080 --> 00:58:40.480
Like I had some pretty serious trauma happen over the last three months,

898
00:58:40.480 --> 00:58:42.640
like about March of this year.

899
00:58:42.640 --> 00:58:44.320
And it was significant.

900
00:58:44.320 --> 00:58:47.520
And it was circling around men.

901
00:58:47.520 --> 00:58:55.120
And then it opened up this Pandora's box of my heart of just where receipts,

902
00:58:55.120 --> 00:58:57.200
like the enemy just put in receipts of like,

903
00:58:57.200 --> 00:59:00.240
this is how all these lies, they're just facts.

904
00:59:01.040 --> 00:59:02.080
And so working through that,

905
00:59:02.080 --> 00:59:04.400
and the Lord has really healed a lot of that.

906
00:59:05.360 --> 00:59:06.640
But it is a fight.

907
00:59:08.000 --> 00:59:08.640
It's a fight.

908
00:59:09.280 --> 00:59:12.960
And so I don't want to walk into this next phase,

909
00:59:13.920 --> 00:59:17.360
partnering with like this fear,

910
00:59:17.360 --> 00:59:21.440
walking in and like writing off and red flagging everybody

911
00:59:21.440 --> 00:59:23.760
and, you know, those types of things.

912
00:59:24.320 --> 00:59:26.560
So, well, part of that.

913
00:59:26.560 --> 00:59:27.040
Okay.

914
00:59:27.040 --> 00:59:30.640
So let me just tell you, I want you to imagine a balloon.

915
00:59:30.640 --> 00:59:31.200
Okay.

916
00:59:31.200 --> 00:59:33.520
Balloon that's full of air.

917
00:59:33.920 --> 00:59:40.080
And I want you to like kind of imagine slowly someone holding the balloon open

918
00:59:40.080 --> 00:59:42.000
so the air can slowly come out.

919
00:59:42.720 --> 00:59:43.220
Okay.

920
00:59:43.760 --> 00:59:44.960
It's not being popped.

921
00:59:46.160 --> 00:59:50.320
But I want you just to kind of imagine God helping you decompress slowly.

922
00:59:50.320 --> 00:59:50.820
Okay.

923
00:59:51.520 --> 00:59:52.800
Because here's the truth.

924
00:59:54.480 --> 00:59:58.800
A, you don't have to have it all together and finished to go into the next phase.

925
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:06.160
But B, I feel like so many times, ladies, and I get it, because you don't know what

926
01:00:06.160 --> 01:00:10.240
to expect over there, number one, but we're trying our best to help you know what's coming.

927
01:00:10.240 --> 01:00:14.000
But then some of you get afraid when we start talking about what's going to happen over

928
01:00:14.000 --> 01:00:15.000
there.

929
01:00:15.000 --> 01:00:20.280
But the reality is, is you're going to learn, you're going to learn more.

930
01:00:20.280 --> 01:00:27.040
And so even for myself, like, I used to make literally a poster board when I would talk

931
01:00:27.040 --> 01:00:32.960
to the guys so that I could like, oh, okay, this is how I felt in that interaction, like,

932
01:00:32.960 --> 01:00:35.880
so I could start to actually process more.

933
01:00:35.880 --> 01:00:41.520
Okay, this was a green flag, this was a red flag, I gave the guys nick, like, if I was

934
01:00:41.520 --> 01:00:46.160
talking to them more in depth, not the people that I just hardly had a conversation with.

935
01:00:46.160 --> 01:00:52.240
But you know, I, I blew past red flags all the time in the past, but I definitely grew.

936
01:00:52.480 --> 01:00:58.840
But I grew through practice, too, you know, and I had an amazing community to help me.

937
01:00:58.840 --> 01:01:01.680
And that's where the community is a game changer, ladies.

938
01:01:01.680 --> 01:01:06.120
When you come in and share about your dates, and you're like, I think this is a red flag,

939
01:01:06.120 --> 01:01:08.040
I'm going to run away from this relationship.

940
01:01:08.040 --> 01:01:11.040
And we're like, wait a minute, that's, that's only yellow.

941
01:01:11.040 --> 01:01:13.120
Let's just, let's just unpack this a little more.

942
01:01:13.120 --> 01:01:15.440
Why is that red for you right now?

943
01:01:15.440 --> 01:01:22.080
You know, or, hey, ladies, did you see this guy has all green flags, this is looking really

944
01:01:22.080 --> 01:01:23.080
good.

945
01:01:23.080 --> 01:01:24.080
Mm hmm.

946
01:01:24.080 --> 01:01:28.640
You know, and so I don't want you to feel like you're going to be on your own, and that

947
01:01:28.640 --> 01:01:33.480
you need to fear moving forward because of what happened in the past.

948
01:01:33.480 --> 01:01:37.640
You have new information now, and you're going to continue to build on that new information

949
01:01:37.640 --> 01:01:39.800
in the days ahead.

950
01:01:39.800 --> 01:01:43.600
Heartwork continues throughout our whole community.

951
01:01:43.600 --> 01:01:46.800
And you're going to continue to have things triggered and revealed.

952
01:01:46.800 --> 01:01:53.440
So I don't want you to feel like you have to like, we have some ladies that they try

953
01:01:53.440 --> 01:01:56.040
to move forward, and then they get really afraid.

954
01:01:56.040 --> 01:02:01.880
And then they, and it's okay, if people really feel led to come back to heartwork, but we're

955
01:02:01.880 --> 01:02:06.080
seeing this happen more people are getting so scared that they're coming back to heartwork

956
01:02:06.080 --> 01:02:08.880
feeling like they didn't do a good enough job the first time around.

957
01:02:08.880 --> 01:02:15.040
Now, some people do fly through, but some of the people that are having that happen,

958
01:02:15.040 --> 01:02:19.160
you know, again, maybe the capacity of where they were at, they couldn't retain more.

959
01:02:19.160 --> 01:02:23.080
But Amanda, I know you've done a lot of work, okay.

960
01:02:23.080 --> 01:02:30.080
And I think that it's okay for you just to give yourself permission to move forward and

961
01:02:30.080 --> 01:02:33.520
take imperfect action.

962
01:02:33.520 --> 01:02:37.760
And here's the last thing, ladies, guess what, just because you move forward into the next

963
01:02:37.760 --> 01:02:41.520
phase doesn't mean you have to date immediately.

964
01:02:41.520 --> 01:02:46.040
We do issue a dating challenge, but I didn't immediately take the dating challenge when

965
01:02:46.040 --> 01:02:47.040
it was given.

966
01:02:47.040 --> 01:02:51.080
I didn't feel led to, and that was okay for me.

967
01:02:51.080 --> 01:02:54.840
So you might go in and feel like, you know, I'm going to, I'm going to absorb the content

968
01:02:54.840 --> 01:02:59.400
here for a little bit, and then I'll practice, you know, you'll just have to pray and decide

969
01:02:59.400 --> 01:03:07.320
what's best for you, but don't feel like you can't move forward because you still feel

970
01:03:07.320 --> 01:03:08.840
like you need healing.

971
01:03:08.840 --> 01:03:16.520
And I'll be honest, I would love to tell you that intrusive thoughts to stop, but sometimes

972
01:03:16.520 --> 01:03:18.000
they don't.

973
01:03:18.000 --> 01:03:23.200
Sometimes we just have to take authority of that thing and say, you know what, I've met

974
01:03:23.200 --> 01:03:28.800
you here before, and I am going to cast you down again today.

975
01:03:28.800 --> 01:03:33.600
And I'm just not going to, not today, devil, I'm not listening to you today.

976
01:03:33.600 --> 01:03:38.240
You know, and it's sometimes it happens like that for a while until we get victory over

977
01:03:38.240 --> 01:03:39.240
it.

978
01:03:39.240 --> 01:03:41.400
You know what I'm saying?

979
01:03:41.400 --> 01:03:46.480
So don't feel like because you're having intrusive thoughts still, that that means you're like,

980
01:03:46.480 --> 01:03:47.880
okay, I got to keep waiting.

981
01:03:47.880 --> 01:03:51.400
Does that make sense?

982
01:03:51.400 --> 01:03:52.720
Resonating for you?

983
01:03:52.720 --> 01:03:54.440
Yeah, it is.

984
01:03:54.440 --> 01:03:58.640
So you can give yourself permission to finish phase one and go ahead and move on forward.

985
01:03:58.640 --> 01:04:01.360
I know you've done the work.

986
01:04:01.360 --> 01:04:02.360
I know you have.

987
01:04:02.800 --> 01:04:03.800
And we're going to be here.

988
01:04:03.800 --> 01:04:04.800
We're going to cheer you on.

989
01:04:04.800 --> 01:04:06.080
We're going to keep walking with you.

990
01:04:06.080 --> 01:04:07.080
You're not alone.

991
01:04:07.080 --> 01:04:08.800
You're not going to be abandoned over there.

992
01:04:08.800 --> 01:04:16.400
We have amazing coaches in phase two, as well as in the rest of our program.

993
01:04:16.400 --> 01:04:18.560
I think you're going to really love it.

994
01:04:18.560 --> 01:04:19.560
Okay.

995
01:04:19.560 --> 01:04:20.560
Yeah.

996
01:04:20.560 --> 01:04:23.760
Just allow yourself to breathe.

997
01:04:23.760 --> 01:04:28.520
Ladies, I really want to encourage you to just practice breathing a lot in this process

998
01:04:28.520 --> 01:04:32.000
of healing and your heart work of dating.

999
01:04:32.640 --> 01:04:38.360
Jackie used to tell me all the time, Bethany, just breathe and have fun.

1000
01:04:38.360 --> 01:04:44.160
I had never learned how to like go on a date and just like low stakes, have a good time.

1001
01:04:44.160 --> 01:04:49.400
I always dated, like met one person, dated them for a long time, even if they were unhealthy.

1002
01:04:49.400 --> 01:04:57.960
And so it was a new experience for me to practice even learning how to date in a healthy way.

1003
01:04:57.960 --> 01:04:59.680
And so if I can do it.

1004
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:02.280
I know you can do it, too.

1005
01:05:02.280 --> 01:05:03.160
Thank you.

1006
01:05:03.160 --> 01:05:04.760
You're welcome.

1007
01:05:04.760 --> 01:05:06.280
So good.

1008
01:05:06.280 --> 01:05:07.520
We're cheering you on.

1009
01:05:07.520 --> 01:05:10.800
Trina, go ahead.

1010
01:05:10.800 --> 01:05:13.740
OK, so mine is very aligned with that.

1011
01:05:13.740 --> 01:05:18.200
I was going to say, how do you know when you're ready?

1012
01:05:18.200 --> 01:05:24.520
And my thought is, it all comes in waves.

1013
01:05:24.520 --> 01:05:27.520
But my thought is I'm headed that way.

1014
01:05:27.520 --> 01:05:29.360
But obviously, I wouldn't want to go on a date

1015
01:05:29.360 --> 01:05:31.320
if I'm still thinking about my ex.

1016
01:05:31.320 --> 01:05:34.080
There comes a point where that's just not fair to the person

1017
01:05:34.080 --> 01:05:38.760
that you're on a date with, to possibly if my ex were

1018
01:05:38.760 --> 01:05:44.120
to call me and say, hey, that would stop me

1019
01:05:44.120 --> 01:05:46.680
a little bit in my tracks.

1020
01:05:46.680 --> 01:05:48.920
But I can't live in that fear.

1021
01:05:48.920 --> 01:05:54.040
So it's like, when do you know you're ready?

1022
01:05:54.040 --> 01:05:57.800
And I also still think that God is very much still working

1023
01:05:57.800 --> 01:06:01.480
in me and wanting me to do deeper work.

1024
01:06:01.480 --> 01:06:05.120
So maybe I don't repeat what I've

1025
01:06:05.120 --> 01:06:07.480
been repeating my entire life.

1026
01:06:07.480 --> 01:06:12.020
So yeah, when do you know, OK, I got it.

1027
01:06:12.020 --> 01:06:12.520
I'm good.

1028
01:06:12.520 --> 01:06:14.720
Let's go.

1029
01:06:14.720 --> 01:06:18.960
Well, so here's the tricky thing.

1030
01:06:18.960 --> 01:06:23.080
I don't have a cookie cutter answer for that, right?

1031
01:06:23.080 --> 01:06:24.520
Hey, this is just how it is.

1032
01:06:24.520 --> 01:06:26.560
And this is how you know for everybody.

1033
01:06:26.560 --> 01:06:29.760
Because everybody's different.

1034
01:06:29.760 --> 01:06:33.000
And so my answer is always this.

1035
01:06:33.000 --> 01:06:36.800
You need to pray and ask the Holy Spirit when you're ready.

1036
01:06:36.800 --> 01:06:40.440
And for some of you, I promise, if you are here

1037
01:06:40.440 --> 01:06:42.440
a really, really, really long time

1038
01:06:42.440 --> 01:06:45.560
and I know that you're ready to go forward,

1039
01:06:45.560 --> 01:06:48.200
I'm going to lovingly say, hey, just like I did tonight

1040
01:06:48.200 --> 01:06:51.320
with Amanda, Amanda, you've done the work.

1041
01:06:51.320 --> 01:06:54.320
Give yourself permission to go forward.

1042
01:06:54.320 --> 01:06:55.960
And I'm going to lovingly nudge you.

1043
01:06:55.960 --> 01:06:57.360
I'm not going to push you.

1044
01:06:57.360 --> 01:06:58.520
I'm not going to force you.

1045
01:06:58.520 --> 01:07:00.560
But I am going to lovingly nudge you.

1046
01:07:00.560 --> 01:07:03.120
And my other coaches are taught the same thing,

1047
01:07:03.120 --> 01:07:05.600
that we would help you all go ahead and move forward.

1048
01:07:05.600 --> 01:07:08.080
Again, it's learning as you go.

1049
01:07:08.080 --> 01:07:10.680
And so go ahead and pray about it.

1050
01:07:10.680 --> 01:07:13.720
And I've had some ladies say, hey, I just

1051
01:07:13.720 --> 01:07:16.760
finished the five weeks, but I feel like there's

1052
01:07:16.760 --> 01:07:19.160
more that God wants to do.

1053
01:07:19.160 --> 01:07:21.480
And so they've gone back to week one

1054
01:07:21.480 --> 01:07:23.240
and done the whole thing again.

1055
01:07:23.240 --> 01:07:25.960
And they've been super grateful that they've done it.

1056
01:07:25.960 --> 01:07:28.960
And so again, that's where you have to really pray

1057
01:07:28.960 --> 01:07:30.800
and practice discerning.

1058
01:07:30.800 --> 01:07:33.360
Like, what is God leading you to do?

1059
01:07:33.360 --> 01:07:35.160
Does he want you just to go back and do

1060
01:07:35.160 --> 01:07:38.080
a couple of the weeks over, you know?

1061
01:07:38.080 --> 01:07:40.240
But only you and God will really know

1062
01:07:40.240 --> 01:07:42.280
what's best for you in that.

1063
01:07:42.280 --> 01:07:44.320
But I will say this, as you were talking,

1064
01:07:44.320 --> 01:07:47.360
I thought about this image.

1065
01:07:47.360 --> 01:07:49.080
I want you to think about, how many of you,

1066
01:07:49.080 --> 01:07:50.400
let's just see a show of hands.

1067
01:07:50.400 --> 01:07:52.800
Well, don't put up your digital hands, just your physical.

1068
01:07:52.880 --> 01:07:54.880
So I don't lose the two digital hands.

1069
01:07:54.880 --> 01:07:57.320
How many of you learned how to ride a bike

1070
01:07:57.320 --> 01:07:58.920
with training wheels?

1071
01:07:58.920 --> 01:08:00.040
Anyone?

1072
01:08:00.040 --> 01:08:01.080
Anyone?

1073
01:08:01.080 --> 01:08:02.880
OK, most of us, I think.

1074
01:08:02.880 --> 01:08:03.960
Some people.

1075
01:08:03.960 --> 01:08:06.080
I don't know about you guys.

1076
01:08:06.080 --> 01:08:07.800
I got put on a bike.

1077
01:08:07.800 --> 01:08:10.040
I did ride a bike with training wheels, too.

1078
01:08:10.040 --> 01:08:11.640
But when I was really trying to learn

1079
01:08:11.640 --> 01:08:14.160
how to ride it without training wheels,

1080
01:08:14.160 --> 01:08:19.040
my good friend next door that we came up with this really,

1081
01:08:19.040 --> 01:08:20.439
we thought it was a good plan.

1082
01:08:20.439 --> 01:08:22.680
Thankfully, I did it in the grass.

1083
01:08:22.680 --> 01:08:26.040
I was on a banana seat back in the day.

1084
01:08:26.040 --> 01:08:26.760
You know those?

1085
01:08:26.760 --> 01:08:29.359
Yeah, I am that old.

1086
01:08:29.359 --> 01:08:33.560
And we put, I was up on a hill, and they pushed me.

1087
01:08:33.560 --> 01:08:34.760
They pushed me down the hill.

1088
01:08:34.760 --> 01:08:38.160
And the hill, I was going real fast, you all.

1089
01:08:38.160 --> 01:08:39.760
And so I either was going to figure out

1090
01:08:39.760 --> 01:08:41.319
how to pedal that thing, or I was just

1091
01:08:41.319 --> 01:08:43.120
going to fall over or crash into something.

1092
01:08:43.120 --> 01:08:46.319
So I learned pretty quick then.

1093
01:08:46.319 --> 01:08:47.800
Why am I saying that?

1094
01:08:47.960 --> 01:08:54.720
I'm saying that because some of you,

1095
01:08:54.720 --> 01:08:56.200
you need to think about learning how

1096
01:08:56.200 --> 01:08:57.760
to ride a bike with training wheels.

1097
01:08:57.760 --> 01:09:01.760
And learning how to date in a healthy way is the same thing.

1098
01:09:01.760 --> 01:09:04.240
You're going to have training wheels at first, if you will,

1099
01:09:04.240 --> 01:09:05.760
if you'll allow God to put them there.

1100
01:09:05.760 --> 01:09:06.760
And that's our community.

1101
01:09:06.760 --> 01:09:07.479
That's our team.

1102
01:09:07.479 --> 01:09:09.760
That's the coaching you're going to learn,

1103
01:09:09.760 --> 01:09:11.600
the things you're going to learn over there.

1104
01:09:11.600 --> 01:09:16.120
And then when you get stronger, you're going to feel it.

1105
01:09:16.120 --> 01:09:20.560
You're going to know, OK, I'm ready.

1106
01:09:20.560 --> 01:09:24.000
I'm ready to ride down that hill without the training wheels.

1107
01:09:24.000 --> 01:09:26.800
And I'm going to learn how to pedal, or I'm going to crash.

1108
01:09:26.800 --> 01:09:28.560
And guess what?

1109
01:09:28.560 --> 01:09:31.920
Even if you crash, guess what?

1110
01:09:31.920 --> 01:09:33.359
Here's the reality.

1111
01:09:33.359 --> 01:09:34.800
I got back up.

1112
01:09:34.800 --> 01:09:36.560
Y'all, I got back up.

1113
01:09:36.560 --> 01:09:41.000
And I went back to that hill, and I went down it again.

1114
01:09:41.000 --> 01:09:45.920
But so many of us, we get into this, I'm afraid of failing.

1115
01:09:45.920 --> 01:09:48.520
It's like, we got to figure out, we got to find the one.

1116
01:09:48.520 --> 01:09:49.520
We got to find the one.

1117
01:09:49.520 --> 01:09:50.520
We got to find the one.

1118
01:09:50.520 --> 01:09:52.399
And God just wants to, again, that balloon,

1119
01:09:52.399 --> 01:09:55.600
just release all that pressure.

1120
01:09:55.600 --> 01:09:56.760
Release all that pressure.

1121
01:09:56.760 --> 01:09:59.680
And then you said, well, I'm still thinking about my ex.

1122
01:09:59.680 --> 01:10:01.680
Well, guess what?

1123
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:03.940
But you know how this works sometimes?

1124
01:10:03.940 --> 01:10:07.200
Sometimes you just go on a date with someone else

1125
01:10:07.200 --> 01:10:09.520
and you have a really good time.

1126
01:10:09.520 --> 01:10:13.480
Man, that helps you think about that ex a little less.

1127
01:10:13.480 --> 01:10:14.760
It works.

1128
01:10:14.760 --> 01:10:15.720
It works.

1129
01:10:15.720 --> 01:10:18.080
I'm not saying it always makes everything go away,

1130
01:10:18.080 --> 01:10:19.040
but I'm telling you what,

1131
01:10:19.040 --> 01:10:21.640
if you meet someone at some point,

1132
01:10:21.640 --> 01:10:24.400
because I believe you will, that is amazing,

1133
01:10:25.400 --> 01:10:27.680
I think you'll break free from that a little bit more.

1134
01:10:27.680 --> 01:10:29.720
But I think you probably are gonna continue to heal

1135
01:10:29.720 --> 01:10:31.760
on the way to that as well.

1136
01:10:31.760 --> 01:10:35.720
And so I hope you pray and really ask the Lord.

1137
01:10:35.720 --> 01:10:38.640
If you're feeling like, oh, like if he called me today,

1138
01:10:38.640 --> 01:10:40.240
I would be back with him.

1139
01:10:40.240 --> 01:10:43.320
My question to you is why didn't it work out

1140
01:10:43.320 --> 01:10:44.680
in the first place?

1141
01:10:44.680 --> 01:10:47.080
You know, we gotta look at that.

1142
01:10:47.080 --> 01:10:49.760
And if we consider taking someone back, ladies,

1143
01:10:49.760 --> 01:10:51.760
this is real, this happens all the time.

1144
01:10:51.760 --> 01:10:54.600
Women get in the hard work and exes come back up.

1145
01:10:54.600 --> 01:10:58.400
Women move into the next stage and exes resurface.

1146
01:10:58.400 --> 01:11:00.960
Sometimes it's because both people have changed.

1147
01:11:00.960 --> 01:11:03.040
Both people have actually changed.

1148
01:11:03.040 --> 01:11:05.040
They've both done some healing work

1149
01:11:05.040 --> 01:11:06.400
and now they're both ready.

1150
01:11:06.400 --> 01:11:08.680
That can happen sometimes.

1151
01:11:08.680 --> 01:11:11.120
But I'm telling you a majority of the time,

1152
01:11:11.120 --> 01:11:12.800
that isn't the case.

1153
01:11:12.800 --> 01:11:14.480
Because those people circle back,

1154
01:11:14.480 --> 01:11:17.240
but they actually haven't even done anything

1155
01:11:17.240 --> 01:11:18.600
to be different.

1156
01:11:18.640 --> 01:11:20.800
They might be saying they're different

1157
01:11:20.800 --> 01:11:24.280
and they might be able to show like for the short term,

1158
01:11:24.280 --> 01:11:26.240
be different.

1159
01:11:26.240 --> 01:11:27.320
But guess what?

1160
01:11:28.880 --> 01:11:32.880
Internal transformation means long-term

1161
01:11:32.880 --> 01:11:37.880
they can maintain healthy behavior, long-term.

1162
01:11:38.000 --> 01:11:38.840
Okay.

1163
01:11:38.840 --> 01:11:40.640
And so we wanna look at the fruit,

1164
01:11:40.640 --> 01:11:43.160
just like we're asking you guys to look at your roots

1165
01:11:43.160 --> 01:11:44.600
and your fruit.

1166
01:11:44.760 --> 01:11:47.200
We want you to become fruit inspectors,

1167
01:11:47.200 --> 01:11:49.680
not judgmental, not critical.

1168
01:11:50.920 --> 01:11:52.160
And what do I mean by that?

1169
01:11:52.160 --> 01:11:54.840
Are they walking in the fruits of the spirit?

1170
01:11:56.480 --> 01:11:58.920
Are they walking in love, kindness,

1171
01:11:58.920 --> 01:12:00.720
faithfulness, gentleness,

1172
01:12:00.720 --> 01:12:04.520
y'all self-control, it's in there.

1173
01:12:07.800 --> 01:12:09.200
Are they honoring you?

1174
01:12:10.600 --> 01:12:11.800
Are they honoring you?

1175
01:12:12.480 --> 01:12:15.040
You know, are they honoring you?

1176
01:12:15.040 --> 01:12:16.160
We teach in this community,

1177
01:12:16.160 --> 01:12:17.280
do they have the three Ms,

1178
01:12:17.280 --> 01:12:20.080
marriage-minded, masculine and mature?

1179
01:12:20.080 --> 01:12:24.120
Maturity is lacking in a lot of men and women today.

1180
01:12:24.120 --> 01:12:27.200
It's both, y'all, it's both genders now.

1181
01:12:27.200 --> 01:12:30.000
A lot of people think it's just the men, it's both.

1182
01:12:31.000 --> 01:12:33.720
But we want you all to look for the people

1183
01:12:33.720 --> 01:12:35.160
that are those things.

1184
01:12:35.160 --> 01:12:37.760
And being in a situationship,

1185
01:12:37.760 --> 01:12:39.040
someone saying they love you

1186
01:12:39.040 --> 01:12:40.480
and they wanna marry you one day

1187
01:12:40.520 --> 01:12:43.960
is not the same thing as someone who's marriage-minded.

1188
01:12:43.960 --> 01:12:46.560
Okay, that's tends to be situationships,

1189
01:12:47.520 --> 01:12:48.760
which means you're with someone,

1190
01:12:48.760 --> 01:12:49.800
you're dating someone

1191
01:12:49.800 --> 01:12:51.480
and they're saying they wanna marry you,

1192
01:12:51.480 --> 01:12:53.520
but they're not doing anything

1193
01:12:53.520 --> 01:12:55.800
with their actions to move in that direction.

1194
01:12:57.200 --> 01:12:59.480
So I hope that's helpful.

1195
01:13:00.320 --> 01:13:02.080
Remind me, cause you just,

1196
01:13:02.080 --> 01:13:04.920
you guys just broke up not that long ago, right?

1197
01:13:04.920 --> 01:13:06.480
It'll be two months this week, yeah.

1198
01:13:06.480 --> 01:13:07.880
Yeah, it's still fresh.

1199
01:13:07.880 --> 01:13:09.080
Give yourself some grace.

1200
01:13:09.080 --> 01:13:12.080
That's not a lot of space yet between that.

1201
01:13:12.080 --> 01:13:14.200
And so again, don't feel like,

1202
01:13:14.200 --> 01:13:15.560
and you might be ready to date.

1203
01:13:15.560 --> 01:13:18.120
So I don't wanna limit you when you finish the heartwork,

1204
01:13:18.120 --> 01:13:20.040
but I do want you to give yourself some grace

1205
01:13:20.040 --> 01:13:24.600
and permission to continue to process that breakup and heal.

1206
01:13:24.600 --> 01:13:26.360
And don't feel like you have to go right

1207
01:13:26.360 --> 01:13:28.400
into something else unless again,

1208
01:13:28.400 --> 01:13:30.960
you feel really led by the Lord to do so.

1209
01:13:30.960 --> 01:13:33.560
I think the thing that I'm trying to let go of

1210
01:13:33.560 --> 01:13:36.200
is I've never been a person, I'm 42.

1211
01:13:36.200 --> 01:13:38.440
I've never been a person, never married

1212
01:13:38.440 --> 01:13:40.920
to jump into a next thing.

1213
01:13:40.920 --> 01:13:43.360
I've always been like the guy before this

1214
01:13:43.360 --> 01:13:45.320
was eight years before.

1215
01:13:45.320 --> 01:13:48.240
So like, I very much so go back out on my own

1216
01:13:48.240 --> 01:13:50.800
and I'm like, I'm good, don't need it, you know?

1217
01:13:50.800 --> 01:13:54.200
But I'm trying not to do that this time

1218
01:13:54.200 --> 01:13:55.840
because I want to get married

1219
01:13:55.840 --> 01:13:57.760
and I want a shot at having a family.

1220
01:13:57.760 --> 01:14:01.200
So, but you know, there's a push and pull with that

1221
01:14:01.200 --> 01:14:03.920
of don't go crazy, but also.

1222
01:14:03.920 --> 01:14:06.000
Well, here's the thing.

1223
01:14:06.000 --> 01:14:07.440
Again, I think the community

1224
01:14:07.440 --> 01:14:09.600
is gonna be a game changer for you then.

1225
01:14:09.600 --> 01:14:12.120
You really working on staying connected

1226
01:14:12.120 --> 01:14:15.200
and like, I know it's gonna sound like a lot,

1227
01:14:15.200 --> 01:14:17.440
but like I would go on a date

1228
01:14:17.440 --> 01:14:19.600
because I was very similar to you.

1229
01:14:19.600 --> 01:14:21.760
I would go on a date and I would come in the group

1230
01:14:21.760 --> 01:14:23.640
and be like, this is how my date went.

1231
01:14:23.640 --> 01:14:24.920
What do y'all think?

1232
01:14:24.920 --> 01:14:26.920
Because I needed to actually learn

1233
01:14:26.920 --> 01:14:30.160
how to even process what I just experienced.

1234
01:14:30.160 --> 01:14:32.040
You know, what were the other healthy people

1235
01:14:32.040 --> 01:14:35.640
that I was in community with saying about this?

1236
01:14:35.640 --> 01:14:38.600
And that helped me grow

1237
01:14:38.600 --> 01:14:41.440
and not just keep hanging on to some guy

1238
01:14:41.440 --> 01:14:43.480
because he had potential.

1239
01:14:43.480 --> 01:14:45.480
We literally can't marry potential,

1240
01:14:45.480 --> 01:14:48.720
but I, for some reason, used to think I could.

1241
01:14:48.720 --> 01:14:51.160
I mean, I saw a little ounce of potential

1242
01:14:51.160 --> 01:14:55.080
and I'd be like, oh my God, he prayed today.

1243
01:14:56.160 --> 01:14:57.000
Anyone relate?

1244
01:14:57.000 --> 01:14:59.560
Anyone relate to me right now?

1245
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:08.940
Oh my gosh, he bought me a gift, but 50 other times, on my birthday even, y'all, he didn't

1246
01:15:08.940 --> 01:15:11.440
even buy me a gift this one time.

1247
01:15:11.440 --> 01:15:13.920
Didn't even acknowledge my birthday.

1248
01:15:13.920 --> 01:15:19.560
Who does that if they really love you, right?

1249
01:15:19.560 --> 01:15:23.220
We're not settling for crumbs, ladies, no more of that.

1250
01:15:23.220 --> 01:15:27.900
You're not under the table begging for crumbs like, well, I'll just settle for whatever

1251
01:15:27.900 --> 01:15:31.540
falls down, I might get a crumb today.

1252
01:15:31.540 --> 01:15:32.540
No.

1253
01:15:32.540 --> 01:15:34.380
I know you relate to me.

1254
01:15:34.380 --> 01:15:35.380
I know you do.

1255
01:15:35.380 --> 01:15:36.940
I see it.

1256
01:15:36.940 --> 01:15:41.540
We're not doing that anymore, because you know what?

1257
01:15:41.540 --> 01:15:47.300
I don't know if you like steak or shrimp or seafood or whatever, but think fancy.

1258
01:15:47.300 --> 01:15:52.380
Think whatever your favorite thing is, God has that sitting on the top of the table at

1259
01:15:52.380 --> 01:15:56.100
the banquet table for you.

1260
01:15:56.100 --> 01:15:58.380
And he's got a name, too.

1261
01:15:58.380 --> 01:16:02.580
But I'm talking about a meal right now, just to kind of get you thinking about that.

1262
01:16:02.580 --> 01:16:08.240
Crumbs versus this really awesome experience and meal.

1263
01:16:08.240 --> 01:16:13.300
And God has that for you, but it's part of us learning how to receive it, how to believe

1264
01:16:13.300 --> 01:16:15.940
that it's actually available for us.

1265
01:16:15.940 --> 01:16:21.180
But again, if we internally, and I know some of you are like, I don't know, do I think

1266
01:16:21.180 --> 01:16:23.820
I'm under the table begging for crumbs?

1267
01:16:24.060 --> 01:16:32.180
Well, if you tend to think there's not enough men in the world that are good, that's a scarcity

1268
01:16:32.180 --> 01:16:34.780
mindset, ladies.

1269
01:16:34.780 --> 01:16:36.660
You're under the table right there.

1270
01:16:36.660 --> 01:16:39.820
Do you get what I'm saying?

1271
01:16:39.820 --> 01:16:41.820
Okay.

1272
01:16:41.820 --> 01:16:43.580
So Trina, give yourself some grace.

1273
01:16:43.580 --> 01:16:48.380
Again, pray if you feel like you should do the hard work again, go for it.

1274
01:16:48.380 --> 01:16:50.620
Because you might, you might just need a little more time.

1275
01:16:50.620 --> 01:16:56.980
Some of us literally the first time we go through again, whatever capacity we have,

1276
01:16:56.980 --> 01:17:04.980
you know, we might only be able to get like, 20% below the surface of our heart.

1277
01:17:04.980 --> 01:17:09.220
And so the next time through, maybe we're going to be able to get to 50 or 60%.

1278
01:17:09.220 --> 01:17:11.020
I'm not saying you should keep doing it.

1279
01:17:11.020 --> 01:17:12.020
But we do.

1280
01:17:12.020 --> 01:17:17.460
I mean, ladies, I literally, I mean, when I first started coaching, I probably read

1281
01:17:17.460 --> 01:17:22.020
this book no less than six or seven times.

1282
01:17:22.020 --> 01:17:26.780
Watch the videos over and over and over because I had to absorb it to coach it.

1283
01:17:26.780 --> 01:17:31.700
And it changed me, like massively.

1284
01:17:31.700 --> 01:17:36.740
And so I'm not saying stay in the ICU, but I am saying it's a tool.

1285
01:17:36.740 --> 01:17:42.500
The hard work is this, this stuff you're learning is meant to be tools to help you.

1286
01:17:42.500 --> 01:17:43.860
We're praying for you.

1287
01:17:43.860 --> 01:17:46.660
What week are you on right now, Trina?

1288
01:17:46.660 --> 01:17:47.660
This is going to be my fifth.

1289
01:17:47.660 --> 01:17:48.660
Okay.

1290
01:17:48.660 --> 01:17:49.660
All right.

1291
01:17:49.660 --> 01:17:52.420
Well, make sure you let us know what you decide.

1292
01:17:52.420 --> 01:17:53.420
Okay.

1293
01:17:53.420 --> 01:17:59.500
So pray and then do a post in the app so that we can know what you decided.

1294
01:17:59.500 --> 01:18:00.500
And will you tag me?

1295
01:18:00.500 --> 01:18:04.340
Because I tend to see those when you guys create the post.

1296
01:18:04.340 --> 01:18:09.580
I'm seeing those notifications better when you do an actual post.

1297
01:18:09.580 --> 01:18:10.580
Okay.

1298
01:18:10.580 --> 01:18:14.300
And that way I'll know to check that out.

1299
01:18:14.300 --> 01:18:15.300
Thank you.

1300
01:18:15.300 --> 01:18:16.300
You're welcome.

1301
01:18:16.940 --> 01:18:17.940
So many exciting things happening.

1302
01:18:17.940 --> 01:18:20.940
Lisa, Mendrix, go ahead.

1303
01:18:20.940 --> 01:18:22.300
Okay.

1304
01:18:22.300 --> 01:18:28.140
So with the intervals, there's two things that came to mind right away.

1305
01:18:28.140 --> 01:18:37.220
And the first one was, am I willing to believe that a man will be there for me?

1306
01:18:37.220 --> 01:18:44.780
And I know the root is my dad, because I know you've heard me talk about this before.

1307
01:18:44.780 --> 01:18:49.340
I don't know about this particular thing, but anyway, when my parents split up, I didn't

1308
01:18:49.340 --> 01:18:51.740
live with them my last two years of high school.

1309
01:18:51.740 --> 01:18:59.500
And the rule was that once I graduated, I had to go live with my dad.

1310
01:18:59.500 --> 01:19:05.300
And so I was living with him and my dad was an alcoholic and he was setting the table

1311
01:19:05.300 --> 01:19:11.300
one night and I just said to him, I'm like, dad, you're never there for me.

1312
01:19:11.300 --> 01:19:16.180
What I meant was emotionally and he blew a fuse and he started chasing me around the

1313
01:19:16.180 --> 01:19:18.300
dinner table and it scared me because he had a knife.

1314
01:19:18.300 --> 01:19:22.660
Not that my dad was ever physically violent, but he was also an alcoholic and my dad did

1315
01:19:22.660 --> 01:19:23.660
have a temper.

1316
01:19:23.660 --> 01:19:27.420
I never, he never took it out on me, but I watched him take it out on my brother.

1317
01:19:27.420 --> 01:19:30.140
So you know, of course I'm not comfortable.

1318
01:19:30.140 --> 01:19:34.020
And then I ran upstairs, hid for a bit.

1319
01:19:34.020 --> 01:19:38.220
And then when I felt it was safe to get downstairs, I got in my car and I took off for the night

1320
01:19:38.220 --> 01:19:41.820
and I spent the night in a church parking lot, which I'm only laughing because I wasn't

1321
01:19:41.820 --> 01:19:47.620
saved yet, but clearly I felt like that was a place to go.

1322
01:19:47.620 --> 01:19:51.540
So yeah, I think that it stems from that.

1323
01:19:51.540 --> 01:19:59.940
And then the other issue that is this thought that I realized I've had over the years, most

1324
01:19:59.940 --> 01:19:59.940


1325
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:04.800
sent when I've considered dating again. And just to let you know, I haven't dated since really like

1326
01:20:04.800 --> 01:20:10.720
1997. And I'm 61. And I've never been married and don't have kids. So Trina, I can relate.

1327
01:20:11.520 --> 01:20:17.680
I'm a couple decades ahead of you almost. But yeah, and so the thing is, before I got saved

1328
01:20:17.680 --> 01:20:24.800
when I was 37. But before I got saved, I was sexually active. And I think that

1329
01:20:24.800 --> 01:20:32.560
I mean, I'm not trying to justify I'm just I'm really getting clear at like where this

1330
01:20:32.560 --> 01:20:40.080
vow has crept in. Yeah, is that I was really broken when I was 15 when my parents split up.

1331
01:20:40.080 --> 01:20:47.520
And so I know that I really was trying to find love. And so I dated a lot. Like if I wasn't with

1332
01:20:47.520 --> 01:20:52.880
somebody shortly after within like a month, I had a new boyfriend. And, and that was, you know,

1333
01:20:52.880 --> 01:21:02.640
that went on a lot. And so I think that I used my body. I was I wouldn't say like, it wasn't like I

1334
01:21:02.640 --> 01:21:08.240
was somebody who was like flaunting my figure. It wasn't like that. But when I had sex with somebody,

1335
01:21:08.240 --> 01:21:13.120
I always thought like, marriage was the next step, like if I cared about him enough, so I kind of

1336
01:21:13.120 --> 01:21:19.600
put the cart obviously before the horse. And, and so, you know, my heart got broken a lot too,

1337
01:21:19.600 --> 01:21:25.360
because I was serious and thought they were too, but that was never the case. And so my heart got

1338
01:21:25.360 --> 01:21:31.600
broken over and over and over again. And I think that I over time, you know, it made me really feel

1339
01:21:31.600 --> 01:21:37.520
like I was being used by men for my body. Yeah, I think there was a lot of confusion that came out

1340
01:21:37.520 --> 01:21:41.600
of it. I think there were some guys that definitely did care about me, I would say they were all like

1341
01:21:41.600 --> 01:21:48.640
that. But um, you know, and then I'm clearly without really realizing it giving a very wrong

1342
01:21:48.640 --> 01:21:53.920
message. Like if I'm willing to sleep with you, and not marry you, then that kind of can tell a

1343
01:21:53.920 --> 01:22:00.640
lot of men, not all men, but it gives it gives a different message, right? So those are the two

1344
01:22:00.640 --> 01:22:08.880
things that Yeah, and then the thing I do want to say really quickly getting back to not believing

1345
01:22:08.880 --> 01:22:13.920
a man will ever be there for me, there's I'm just realizing I'm starting to really come out of this,

1346
01:22:13.920 --> 01:22:20.560
which is fantastic. Which is that I used to really put like, I really wanted to be validated

1347
01:22:20.560 --> 01:22:26.240
by man, I was always looking for their approval. And I actually done it with my pastor, like he

1348
01:22:26.240 --> 01:22:30.720
would never know that. But I always wanted his like stamp of approval, you know what I mean?

1349
01:22:30.720 --> 01:22:36.640
Like I just really did. And I saw recently that I've been doing it and how much it's been really

1350
01:22:36.640 --> 01:22:41.360
disempowering me like 24 years, you know, I've been under this pastor's leadership, you know,

1351
01:22:41.360 --> 01:22:48.640
since I got saved. And that's a long time to be a certain way. Right. And so I but I'm, I'm really

1352
01:22:48.640 --> 01:22:53.360
starting to come into myself. I'm really seeing that like, I'm like, I'm not here for that

1353
01:22:53.360 --> 01:22:58.960
approval. And it's not like a, it's not like a, I don't know how to explain it. It's not like I'm

1354
01:22:58.960 --> 01:23:05.200
trying to work it like, Oh, you're not, I'm not gonna let you it's not like that. Yeah, yeah.

1355
01:23:05.200 --> 01:23:08.800
And that's what healing does, ladies. That's what it does.

1356
01:23:08.800 --> 01:23:14.720
Yeah. So it's really awesome. So I think my thing is like one of the concerns I have about,

1357
01:23:15.360 --> 01:23:23.680
you know, will a man ever be there for me is also like, needing that knowing that I need to put God

1358
01:23:23.680 --> 01:23:29.600
first, you know, coming out of this thing of wanting to be validated by man, putting God first

1359
01:23:29.600 --> 01:23:33.920
where I had been putting man if I'm to be honest with you, I have been I definitely this wouldn't

1360
01:23:33.920 --> 01:23:40.720
have been a struggle otherwise. And so then it's like, I you know, but then I don't want to be

1361
01:23:40.720 --> 01:23:44.160
codependent and lean. I don't know how to do the balance because I haven't had I haven't done it

1362
01:23:44.160 --> 01:23:50.000
before. Well, you're again, it's so funny. I feel like this takes us back to the bicycle with

1363
01:23:50.000 --> 01:23:58.400
training wheels. I really do. I think again, like it's it's learning as we grow as we go, right.

1364
01:23:58.400 --> 01:24:07.760
And so one of the things that was coming up is I do think that you are learning this already. I

1365
01:24:07.760 --> 01:24:14.720
think you're already in motion. When you said the first one, you said, am I willing?

1366
01:24:16.960 --> 01:24:22.160
Am I willing to believe a man will be there for me? And that just stood out to me that you said,

1367
01:24:22.720 --> 01:24:28.480
am I willing? And, you know, there's a scriptures that talk about, you know,

1368
01:24:30.240 --> 01:24:37.760
I believe help me and like, yeah, you know, where I'm, I don't know if this is a scripture or just

1369
01:24:37.760 --> 01:24:43.120
somebody said it, but what's coming up in my spirit is like, Lord, help me to be willing to

1370
01:24:43.120 --> 01:24:49.440
be made willing, you know, and not that God's enforcing us, but like, there's some level of

1371
01:24:49.440 --> 01:24:59.760
like, sometimes we might not feel willing that God can help us. Yeah. He can help us.

1372
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:07.440
you know, have the courage to be willing to believe something good that enables us and empowers us.

1373
01:25:09.440 --> 01:25:16.800
And so while you've had bad experience with men, that has definitely, I mean,

1374
01:25:16.800 --> 01:25:20.240
that's scary what happened to you. I'm so sorry that happened with your dad.

1375
01:25:22.960 --> 01:25:27.920
But I feel like God is saying, I'm willing, like he's saying to you, I'm willing.

1376
01:25:30.400 --> 01:25:38.640
And he's willing to help you. He's willing to lead you, to guide you. And so basically it's

1377
01:25:39.600 --> 01:25:49.280
up to you to decide if you're ready to just say, I'm willing versus am I willing, right? Like,

1378
01:25:49.280 --> 01:25:53.760
I'm willing to believe there's a man for me, healthy.

1379
01:25:53.760 --> 01:26:01.760
Yeah. And I actually have experienced that. I did actually experience that like really big time

1380
01:26:01.760 --> 01:26:07.120
with the person I got engaged in 1987. And I won't go into that, but I mean, that was like,

1381
01:26:07.120 --> 01:26:12.480
out of all the people, like I hadn't dated for 13 years. And just to let you know, too,

1382
01:26:12.480 --> 01:26:16.480
like with this sex thing, just a little bit, I stopped having sex in 1988.

1383
01:26:17.120 --> 01:26:21.680
Yeah. So here's the thing on that one.

1384
01:26:23.760 --> 01:26:30.080
So we have to really make sure that our inner vow isn't around like,

1385
01:26:32.160 --> 01:26:36.480
you know, it kind of makes me think of, and it's not wrong. I understand why you,

1386
01:26:36.480 --> 01:26:43.280
why you would have chosen that. But like, you know, like how that one said, I will be perfect.

1387
01:26:43.280 --> 01:26:49.120
So I'll never get rejected again. Like, you know, some of us make inner vows. I will never

1388
01:26:49.120 --> 01:26:56.400
allow my body to be like, I will never use my body in that way ever again. And in we're saying

1389
01:26:56.400 --> 01:27:03.920
it to such a degree internally that we actually like literally like put ourselves in timeout

1390
01:27:03.920 --> 01:27:10.640
because we're, we're literally afraid to have a physical, you know, reaction to someone.

1391
01:27:11.600 --> 01:27:15.440
Yeah. I do need to elaborate a little bit on this because it actually,

1392
01:27:16.800 --> 01:27:26.080
I had two abortions. Okay. And one in 1986 and one in 1988, and they both did me in big time.

1393
01:27:26.640 --> 01:27:33.360
The second one I weigh like I'm my average weight is one 30. I went under a hundred pounds. I was

1394
01:27:33.360 --> 01:27:40.880
like the walking dead. I felt like, I felt like my spirit had just left me. I don't even know how

1395
01:27:40.880 --> 01:27:45.120
I made it. I ate a candy bar from the vending machine for lunch once a day. That's all I had

1396
01:27:45.120 --> 01:27:52.560
for months. So it was really hard. And I vowed to myself, I said, and you know, I wasn't saved yet.

1397
01:27:52.560 --> 01:27:57.680
And I just said, I am never, I'm, this is never going to happen to me again. I'm never going to

1398
01:27:57.680 --> 01:28:05.040
do this. No way. So that's a good thing. You know, it's a good thing, especially not being

1399
01:28:05.040 --> 01:28:10.240
saved. You know what I mean? And I've held that since 1988 it's an, even the person I was engaged

1400
01:28:10.240 --> 01:28:14.080
with when we dated, I said, I just have to let you know, this is where I stand with sex before

1401
01:28:14.080 --> 01:28:17.600
marriage. This is what happened to me. I'm just not going to go there. So if you're fine with

1402
01:28:17.600 --> 01:28:21.920
that, we're good to date. If you're not, you need to date somebody else. So it's very good to set

1403
01:28:21.920 --> 01:28:29.280
those boundaries. I think where, you know, so I'm just going to tell you something that I saw

1404
01:28:29.280 --> 01:28:38.560
when you were talking. Okay. So I saw like a bride in a cemetery with a bride, like a wedding dress

1405
01:28:38.560 --> 01:28:47.600
on, but she was like dead. And I think from that, what I heard the Lord saying is like,

1406
01:28:47.680 --> 01:28:52.800
you know, the grieving it's time. God wants you to like, give yourself permission to come

1407
01:28:52.800 --> 01:29:03.680
out of grieving, to come out of that place of like punishing yourself. And to, to recognize

1408
01:29:03.680 --> 01:29:11.840
like that, that part of you that died in those situations, like God wants to redeem that and

1409
01:29:11.840 --> 01:29:18.880
bring that back to life. Like you've always been destined to be a bride that's alive and

1410
01:29:18.880 --> 01:29:26.560
fully alive in every area and every aspect of yourself. And, um, so I don't speak that over

1411
01:29:26.560 --> 01:29:33.520
you as a, Hey, this is where you're going to be. I'm sick. God is showing me that there's some

1412
01:29:33.520 --> 01:29:37.840
aspect of yourself where you are still kind of grieving and punishing yourself.

1413
01:29:38.640 --> 01:29:45.280
And God wants to remove the grave clothes, just like David. Okay. I'm not comparing you to him

1414
01:29:45.280 --> 01:29:51.920
at all, but David, like when he lost that, that son at the, you know, that him and Bathsheba had,

1415
01:29:52.960 --> 01:29:59.760
he grieved deeply. But do you know, that's someone too.

1416
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:04.320
to say the time of mourning is over.

1417
01:30:04.320 --> 01:30:06.320
Like God literally sent someone to him

1418
01:30:06.320 --> 01:30:10.480
to help him come out of that place of grieving.

1419
01:30:10.480 --> 01:30:13.760
And then that's what made that change happen.

1420
01:30:13.760 --> 01:30:16.240
And there's probably other stuff there contextually,

1421
01:30:16.240 --> 01:30:18.680
but I'm just saying when I read that story,

1422
01:30:18.680 --> 01:30:21.240
that's something that I remember it ministered to me

1423
01:30:21.240 --> 01:30:23.400
because God sent someone to him to say,

1424
01:30:23.400 --> 01:30:26.720
hey, the time of grieving is over.

1425
01:30:26.720 --> 01:30:28.640
And then he's out of that place.

1426
01:30:28.640 --> 01:30:29.720
And so I really want to encourage you

1427
01:30:29.720 --> 01:30:31.520
just to kind of pray into that

1428
01:30:31.520 --> 01:30:36.520
and just make sure that you're not still agreeing

1429
01:30:36.960 --> 01:30:39.600
with that you have to be afraid of yourself.

1430
01:30:40.440 --> 01:30:42.520
You have to be afraid of, you know,

1431
01:30:42.520 --> 01:30:44.880
or your ability to make a good choice.

1432
01:30:44.880 --> 01:30:46.760
If you move forward, you know,

1433
01:30:46.760 --> 01:30:49.200
just make sure that you're not like kind of continuing

1434
01:30:49.200 --> 01:30:52.760
to subconsciously hold yourself in that timeout,

1435
01:30:52.760 --> 01:30:55.920
in that place of grieving, in that place of like,

1436
01:30:55.920 --> 01:30:58.520
because as soon as I started talking to you

1437
01:30:59.400 --> 01:31:00.520
and I understand it's really good, you know,

1438
01:31:00.520 --> 01:31:02.680
cause I'm learning more about you every time

1439
01:31:02.680 --> 01:31:03.720
we have these interactions,

1440
01:31:03.720 --> 01:31:07.160
but like, I'm like encouraging you to move forward.

1441
01:31:07.160 --> 01:31:09.560
And then you were mentioning, well, this is what I did.

1442
01:31:09.560 --> 01:31:10.720
I had these abortions.

1443
01:31:10.720 --> 01:31:13.080
And so I feel like the enemy continues

1444
01:31:13.080 --> 01:31:15.520
to try to take you backwards.

1445
01:31:15.520 --> 01:31:16.560
Does that make sense?

1446
01:31:17.480 --> 01:31:19.280
Yeah, I think.

1447
01:31:19.280 --> 01:31:21.280
It's helpful because we learn more about your story

1448
01:31:21.280 --> 01:31:23.840
and we learn more how to like,

1449
01:31:23.840 --> 01:31:28.400
but in that process, like ultimately at the end of the day,

1450
01:31:29.280 --> 01:31:31.720
ladies, we have to give ourselves permission.

1451
01:31:31.720 --> 01:31:33.560
That's the theme tonight.

1452
01:31:33.560 --> 01:31:35.520
It's a really big theme that's coming out

1453
01:31:35.520 --> 01:31:40.520
is are we willing to give ourselves permission to live?

1454
01:31:40.920 --> 01:31:41.760
To live.

1455
01:31:44.320 --> 01:31:48.480
And I know that you're living on a lot of levels,

1456
01:31:48.480 --> 01:31:51.200
but I think there's some areas where, again,

1457
01:31:51.200 --> 01:31:55.320
the Lord is like wanting to awaken some stuff in you.

1458
01:31:55.320 --> 01:31:57.560
And when you start to feel that,

1459
01:31:57.560 --> 01:31:59.200
you might even feel afraid of it

1460
01:31:59.200 --> 01:32:02.040
because it might cause you to think

1461
01:32:02.040 --> 01:32:05.080
of how you felt back then,

1462
01:32:05.080 --> 01:32:06.480
but it's not the same.

1463
01:32:06.480 --> 01:32:09.360
You're not the same person anymore.

1464
01:32:09.360 --> 01:32:13.800
Right, so the reason why I only brought up the,

1465
01:32:13.800 --> 01:32:15.360
I wasn't gonna bring up the abortion thing.

1466
01:32:15.360 --> 01:32:18.240
I brought it up because I wanted to clarify

1467
01:32:18.240 --> 01:32:20.160
because I felt like the coaching you were giving me

1468
01:32:20.160 --> 01:32:22.920
was based on information that you didn't have all the way.

1469
01:32:22.920 --> 01:32:25.200
And so I thought, oh, I actually need to tell you this.

1470
01:32:25.200 --> 01:32:26.720
And I don't even remember what you said

1471
01:32:26.720 --> 01:32:29.160
before I said that, which is kind of interesting.

1472
01:32:30.280 --> 01:32:33.680
But yeah, I think what's come up for me

1473
01:32:33.680 --> 01:32:35.600
because I did go through several weeks,

1474
01:32:35.600 --> 01:32:38.680
like an eight-week healing course back in like 2008,

1475
01:32:38.680 --> 01:32:40.600
because I told God I wanted him to use me

1476
01:32:40.600 --> 01:32:43.680
to set the captives free from shame

1477
01:32:43.680 --> 01:32:46.840
and to heal through abortion.

1478
01:32:46.840 --> 01:32:50.320
So, and I've been, I've spoken on television about this.

1479
01:32:50.320 --> 01:32:52.560
I've been in schools and churches.

1480
01:32:52.560 --> 01:32:54.240
God used me mightily.

1481
01:32:54.240 --> 01:32:57.120
And so it's not to say like,

1482
01:32:57.120 --> 01:32:59.360
you're healed one time and then you're fine.

1483
01:33:00.720 --> 01:33:02.680
Life's a process, I know that.

1484
01:33:02.680 --> 01:33:04.920
So when you said about the healing though,

1485
01:33:04.920 --> 01:33:07.000
I really didn't feel like that resonated.

1486
01:33:07.000 --> 01:33:10.640
Like I just got done working at a clinic for nine months,

1487
01:33:10.640 --> 01:33:14.560
pregnancy clinic, and I had to coach women

1488
01:33:14.560 --> 01:33:16.680
based on what they were ready for type of thing.

1489
01:33:16.680 --> 01:33:19.080
So it's more just giving them resources.

1490
01:33:20.080 --> 01:33:23.400
But the long and short is,

1491
01:33:23.400 --> 01:33:27.160
I think that, I think there's a part of me

1492
01:33:27.160 --> 01:33:29.800
that feels like my innocence was taken away

1493
01:33:29.800 --> 01:33:32.240
because it doesn't feel so,

1494
01:33:33.120 --> 01:33:35.480
you know, when you know the choices you made,

1495
01:33:35.480 --> 01:33:37.680
you know, and I know like in my head,

1496
01:33:37.680 --> 01:33:38.760
they were a bunch of cells.

1497
01:33:38.760 --> 01:33:40.240
I didn't even think of this as a baby,

1498
01:33:40.240 --> 01:33:42.560
but I also know that's how people rationalize abortion,

1499
01:33:42.560 --> 01:33:44.160
many people, you know?

1500
01:33:44.160 --> 01:33:47.160
So I don't wanna get too into this, but yeah.

1501
01:33:48.120 --> 01:33:49.480
I do need to close up with you.

1502
01:33:49.480 --> 01:33:50.960
I wanna go ahead and go to Roseanne,

1503
01:33:50.960 --> 01:33:51.880
but I do wanna,

1504
01:33:51.880 --> 01:33:55.240
I just wanna bring something to light though.

1505
01:33:55.240 --> 01:33:56.080
Okay.

1506
01:33:56.080 --> 01:34:00.280
So I feel like sometimes,

1507
01:34:02.880 --> 01:34:06.160
like I'm not trying to tell you it has to be about healing,

1508
01:34:06.160 --> 01:34:09.840
but I know that there has been coaching in the past

1509
01:34:09.840 --> 01:34:14.600
that your initial response has been very similar to tonight.

1510
01:34:14.600 --> 01:34:19.000
But then when you have like kind of processed it more,

1511
01:34:19.000 --> 01:34:21.840
God starts revealing a bunch of stuff.

1512
01:34:21.840 --> 01:34:23.920
And I'm not saying it always has to be like,

1513
01:34:23.920 --> 01:34:26.760
everything I coach is like right spot on.

1514
01:34:26.760 --> 01:34:29.960
I'm just saying that I'm seeing a pattern.

1515
01:34:29.960 --> 01:34:30.880
Okay.

1516
01:34:30.880 --> 01:34:34.520
In when you're getting coaching,

1517
01:34:35.680 --> 01:34:38.200
the initial response is like, yeah, no,

1518
01:34:38.200 --> 01:34:40.560
that's not resonating, that's not what I need.

1519
01:34:40.560 --> 01:34:42.720
I'm coaching and helping other people.

1520
01:34:42.760 --> 01:34:46.520
But I feel like it's coming up for a reason,

1521
01:34:47.560 --> 01:34:49.400
and so just praying into that.

1522
01:34:49.400 --> 01:34:50.680
I'm not saying it's right or wrong.

1523
01:34:50.680 --> 01:34:52.000
I'm glad that you shared

1524
01:34:52.000 --> 01:34:54.200
because this is what's helping you get

1525
01:34:54.200 --> 01:34:55.480
more and more breakthrough.

1526
01:34:55.480 --> 01:34:57.080
It's helping other people.

1527
01:34:57.080 --> 01:34:59.640
And I'm so glad that again,

1528
01:34:59.640 --> 01:35:00.480
that you shared.

1529
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:04.500
shared your story more. I learned, I didn't know, I didn't recall that happening regarding

1530
01:35:04.500 --> 01:35:12.760
your dad. And so no matter what you talking and sharing is bringing revelation and healing

1531
01:35:12.760 --> 01:35:17.480
for you no matter what. And so I'm really grateful for your story and that you shared

1532
01:35:17.480 --> 01:35:22.300
it with us, but just pray into that because sometimes, and again, this may or may not

1533
01:35:22.300 --> 01:35:33.820
resonate either, but sometimes I've even found myself deflecting or resisting what

1534
01:35:33.820 --> 01:35:41.380
someone's saying. Even back when I knew, like, down that someone was saying something that

1535
01:35:41.380 --> 01:35:48.620
had truth in it, but like, I just was like, no, I'm good. Does that make sense?

1536
01:35:49.020 --> 01:35:55.940
Yeah, I think it's just like wanting to be understood. That's kind of what I think, but I'll

1537
01:35:55.940 --> 01:36:00.060
definitely take a look at that, you know, because it sounds like what you're saying is that I

1538
01:36:00.060 --> 01:36:05.980
immediately I'm like, no, no, no, that's not what it is. And then somehow, something happens

1539
01:36:05.980 --> 01:36:08.820
after that, where I guess I process more. I don't know. Is that what your take is?

1540
01:36:09.220 --> 01:36:16.220
Yeah, yeah. Because even, um, I can't remember what it was exactly. But like you, I just

1541
01:36:16.220 --> 01:36:21.980
remember the last time this happened, you ended up there was a lot that got revealed to you and

1542
01:36:21.980 --> 01:36:27.460
you processed for a little while on that. And it was some significant stuff. And you know, and I

1543
01:36:27.460 --> 01:36:31.780
will say to sometimes ladies, here's the thing, like, sometimes I think I'm saying something to

1544
01:36:31.780 --> 01:36:36.460
my husband, and he'll say something to me. And then I'll say something, he'll be like, I think

1545
01:36:36.460 --> 01:36:41.780
we're saying the same thing. But you know, we all speak a little differently, right? And so that's

1546
01:36:41.780 --> 01:36:48.380
totally fine, too. And Lisa, you're an amazing communicator. And I think that, again, no matter

1547
01:36:48.380 --> 01:36:53.820
what God's doing something in this, um, whether it's just for you or for other people in here

1548
01:36:53.820 --> 01:37:00.660
tonight. So again, I appreciate you sharing your story. And let us know if that resonates at all,

1549
01:37:00.660 --> 01:37:05.300
if anything else is revealed, or like, nope, nothing else got revealed after five weeks or

1550
01:37:05.300 --> 01:37:09.980
whatever. That's totally fine, too. So love you so much. I'm so glad you're here.

1551
01:37:10.580 --> 01:37:15.980
You're doing well. Thank you. And thank you. It gives me a lot to reflect on, you know, so and I

1552
01:37:15.980 --> 01:37:24.140
will be reflecting on it. I know, you know, you're doing an awesome job. Roseanne, go ahead.

1553
01:37:26.860 --> 01:37:38.860
Hello. Hi. So what I shared in the small group, what I think I need to come out of agreement

1554
01:37:38.860 --> 01:37:48.060
with, and it's been coming up more over the last couple of weeks, probably is that, um, do I really

1555
01:37:48.060 --> 01:37:56.820
believe that this can happen for me that I can find a spirit mate, you know, and like this past

1556
01:37:56.820 --> 01:38:02.660
Saturday, when Jackie kept, you know, saying about, I know, most of you know, you have, you have a

1557
01:38:02.660 --> 01:38:10.900
promise from God, and I cannot say that God promised me that I would have a husband. I can

1558
01:38:10.900 --> 01:38:21.460
say that I have a very strong desire. I don't. That's your promise. So, but I found myself, and I'm

1559
01:38:21.460 --> 01:38:26.020
not sure exactly if there was something that was said that brought it up, or it's just that it's

1560
01:38:26.020 --> 01:38:33.380
coming more to the surface that I am finding myself thinking, why, you know, why am I doing this? Do I

1561
01:38:33.380 --> 01:38:39.300
really believe this can happen? What's going to change about my situation that will allow me to

1562
01:38:39.300 --> 01:38:48.180
be, you know, get me into a place where I can even meet somebody? So, and then one thing that when,

1563
01:38:48.180 --> 01:39:00.580
as you were coaching earlier, um, when you said, um, some of us say it's easier. Hold on one second.

1564
01:39:00.580 --> 01:39:05.780
I'm gonna, I just don't want to. Sure. Can you open that and see if my believe sign is in there?

1565
01:39:06.500 --> 01:39:14.420
Yeah, open the cabinet. And just, is my believe sign in there? Yes. Thank you. Okay. Okay. Sorry, I

1566
01:39:14.420 --> 01:39:18.340
didn't want to get up out of my chair, and he was walking by. So, I'm gonna use this in a minute to,

1567
01:39:19.300 --> 01:39:31.300
but go ahead. Okay. So, it, what you said about, um, it being easier to stay like I am, because,

1568
01:39:32.420 --> 01:39:39.380
I mean, I think what comes up in me is, I don't want to be disappointed again. So. Yeah.

1569
01:39:40.340 --> 01:39:45.700
And then I like what you said, give yourself permission to move forward and take imperfect

1570
01:39:45.700 --> 01:39:53.060
action. I like that. Yeah. I mean, ladies, I make mistakes in marriage. So, why do we think we,

1571
01:39:53.060 --> 01:39:59.700
I mean, why do we put all this pressure on ourselves? Like we have to do everything perfectly, right?

1572
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:05.920
it's not realistic and it sets people up for failure and like people check out of relationships

1573
01:40:05.920 --> 01:40:11.200
because they made a mistake and they pull back and they isolate because they're so afraid someone's

1574
01:40:11.200 --> 01:40:15.600
going to reject them if they make a mistake and so we you know we want to look at that stuff too

1575
01:40:15.600 --> 01:40:23.600
and really like okay lord when i make a mistake or if i make a mistake and maybe this is something

1576
01:40:23.600 --> 01:40:28.080
for y'all to contemplate this week because i feel like this has come up a little bit tonight as well

1577
01:40:28.080 --> 01:40:34.160
kind of a couple times but like what is our reaction when we make a mistake what do we do

1578
01:40:37.040 --> 01:40:42.000
i feel the holy spirit on that what do we do when we make a mistake

1579
01:40:43.040 --> 01:40:45.040
do we go into hiding like adam and eve

1580
01:40:46.960 --> 01:40:50.800
do we pull back and not even answer when god is calling to us in the garden

1581
01:40:50.800 --> 01:40:56.800
oh i just felt that too kind of on a pinpoint here

1582
01:40:59.840 --> 01:41:06.880
you know think about it sarah blamed i said sarah adam and eve adam blamed eve

1583
01:41:06.880 --> 01:41:11.600
eve blamed the serpent you know we pull back from relationship

1584
01:41:13.360 --> 01:41:19.600
yeah so we want to look at what is our behavior when we make a mistake no that's not exactly what

1585
01:41:19.600 --> 01:41:24.720
you were wanting coaching on but i think that will be a really good yeah free process for you

1586
01:41:24.720 --> 01:41:34.160
and everyone here tonight myself included when i um got into my first argument with brian i remember

1587
01:41:34.160 --> 01:41:39.840
like the feelings of like like i couldn't even look at him but it wasn't because i was disgusted

1588
01:41:39.840 --> 01:41:48.080
with him it was because i i like felt all this shame for the feeling i had i was triggered i

1589
01:41:48.080 --> 01:41:56.400
had all kinds of stuff going on and the enemy wanted me to hide and i you know god was like

1590
01:41:56.400 --> 01:42:02.640
don't don't hide just tell him what's happening now i have a very amazing impatient husband so

1591
01:42:02.640 --> 01:42:09.520
that's really important to pick healthy guys ladies and he didn't get all rejected you know

1592
01:42:09.520 --> 01:42:14.160
he didn't partner with rejection thankfully i said him hey like this is what's going on

1593
01:42:14.160 --> 01:42:20.880
it doesn't actually have anything to do with you like i got triggered because you did this but all

1594
01:42:20.880 --> 01:42:25.840
of this stuff i'm telling you about it doesn't have anything to do with you so for whatever it's

1595
01:42:25.840 --> 01:42:34.960
worth you know when we look at how we react now when we're not in a like a you know relationship

1596
01:42:34.960 --> 01:42:40.800
romantic that's leading to marriage or is marriage in the future um if we unpack that now

1597
01:42:41.600 --> 01:42:46.720
and how much further that will help us later on because y'all i have to tell you

1598
01:42:48.640 --> 01:42:54.640
even though you know that person loves you um sometimes it can be really hard to stay engaged

1599
01:42:54.640 --> 01:43:00.320
and close when you have a disagreement if you don't know how to do it and i'm still learning

1600
01:43:00.320 --> 01:43:09.120
and it's okay because most of my life i saw i heard my parents fighting upstairs i never saw

1601
01:43:09.120 --> 01:43:16.320
them get along my brothers beat each other and my sister as well like i didn't see people

1602
01:43:17.280 --> 01:43:24.160
like have healthy conflict ever my grandparents were amazing but i never saw them disagree ever

1603
01:43:26.640 --> 01:43:33.920
so while it was a great they were amazing to be around i'm like okay well they never fought so

1604
01:43:34.880 --> 01:43:39.600
i have all these horrible examples and then i have this which is great but like

1605
01:43:40.720 --> 01:43:45.760
what do i do when conflict happens and i actually have to learn how to deal with it

1606
01:43:45.760 --> 01:43:53.920
because nobody taught me right so there's that for everybody but on the things that you said

1607
01:43:53.920 --> 01:43:59.040
as soon as you said do i really believe this can happen for me so we're going to activate believe

1608
01:43:59.040 --> 01:44:04.240
this this week this month roseanne this is your assignment in addition to the other activations

1609
01:44:04.800 --> 01:44:11.600
and you can pray about it and figure out what your thing is but i will tell you that when god

1610
01:44:11.600 --> 01:44:20.240
led me to activate my let me turn my little thing off here my ability to believe i believe help my

1611
01:44:20.240 --> 01:44:26.880
unbelief i pray it all the time he told me though he said buy a sign this is what he led me to do

1612
01:44:26.880 --> 01:44:31.840
buy a sign and this didn't used to be in a cabinet but you all we had mold problem last

1613
01:44:31.840 --> 01:44:37.040
year and everything got packed away so i actually forgot until you were talking tonight about my

1614
01:44:37.040 --> 01:44:42.880
awesome sign so i'm going to get it back out now but it hangs up and he said every time you see

1615
01:44:42.880 --> 01:44:50.720
the sign i want you to say i believe i believe i believe and tap the sign you know there's that

1616
01:44:50.720 --> 01:44:55.200
bible the story in the bible where you know god told him to strike the ground and he told him how

1617
01:44:55.200 --> 01:44:59.920
many times to strike the ground that's what it makes me think of he told me tap it three times

1618
01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:06.720
Every time I believe, I believe, I believe. And every time I was doing that, I knew in my spirit,

1619
01:45:06.720 --> 01:45:10.080
what I was saying, I was believing for. Do you want to know what it is?

1620
01:45:13.840 --> 01:45:21.440
A baby, kids. I believe, I believe. Now, again, it might not always work out the way we think.

1621
01:45:22.080 --> 01:45:22.720
Right.

1622
01:45:22.720 --> 01:45:29.600
That doesn't mean it's not good. Okay. And so I just say that for me because some,

1623
01:45:29.600 --> 01:45:33.840
some of y'all are going to swipe past a really awesome guy because he doesn't look like the

1624
01:45:33.840 --> 01:45:43.520
person you normally would date. Truth. Some of you are gonna not be happy because your thing

1625
01:45:43.520 --> 01:45:47.360
that you're believing for isn't coming in the package you want. Some of y'all don't want to

1626
01:45:47.360 --> 01:45:56.880
ever move, but your spirit mate's in another state. Are you really open to what God wants to

1627
01:45:56.880 --> 01:46:04.400
do in you? It's a good thing to sit with yourself and talk to him about, okay. So that's the believe

1628
01:46:04.400 --> 01:46:13.680
thing. And then on the, um, easier to stay single, you know, the reality is, is again, like,

1629
01:46:16.160 --> 01:46:19.680
I would love to tell you that disappointment is never going to come again,

1630
01:46:20.640 --> 01:46:28.640
but that's not, it's not true. It is going to come, but good things are also going to come.

1631
01:46:31.360 --> 01:46:36.000
Are you willing to be made willing to have both?

1632
01:46:39.280 --> 01:46:43.360
You know? And when I say that, I don't mean that God doesn't have good things for you,

1633
01:46:43.360 --> 01:46:48.400
but you all, I, I went on dates with some guys that I thought were like, oh, this is,

1634
01:46:49.360 --> 01:46:56.080
this could be a good guy. And then the one guy, he didn't, he was like, God's telling me we're

1635
01:46:56.080 --> 01:46:59.680
just supposed to be friends. And you all, there were things that I thought, like, even when I

1636
01:46:59.680 --> 01:47:06.240
went on dates with him, I kind of thought, man, he's not very fun, but he's nice and he's kind.

1637
01:47:06.240 --> 01:47:10.800
And, you know, and I was like convincing myself because he had these good qualities.

1638
01:47:12.160 --> 01:47:17.360
And so then God leads him to say, Hey, we should just be friends. And I was disappointed. And then

1639
01:47:17.360 --> 01:47:22.640
I had to remind myself, well, why? Like, remember, you thought he wasn't very fun.

1640
01:47:22.640 --> 01:47:29.200
Like you wanted to, like, it was on my Jesus cares board. You all fun. I wanted to be with

1641
01:47:29.200 --> 01:47:34.800
someone who is fun. Now you all, I have to tell my husband to stop doing dad jokes. I'm like,

1642
01:47:34.800 --> 01:47:41.360
okay, they're not funny anymore, but no, he's a fun person. But you see how that switch had that

1643
01:47:41.360 --> 01:47:48.240
change had to happen. If I had just partnered with, I'm just like, I was disappointed in that

1644
01:47:48.240 --> 01:47:54.640
moment. Right. But I'm like, okay, like Jackie's used to say all the time, you're one step closer

1645
01:47:54.640 --> 01:48:02.000
to your spirit mate. And I remember after the second guy, I'm like, quit freaking telling me

1646
01:48:02.000 --> 01:48:10.800
that, you know, cause sometimes you're just like, ah, but it was so true. It was so true.

1647
01:48:11.760 --> 01:48:15.920
And so I'm going to be here to tell you all the same thing. So are the other coaches,

1648
01:48:16.560 --> 01:48:21.040
but you know, the self-protection mechanisms are, as in will keep you

1649
01:48:22.800 --> 01:48:30.400
from stepping into all that God has for you. And I want you to kind of start picturing your basket

1650
01:48:30.480 --> 01:48:37.280
full of flowers. That's what's coming up in my spirit, full of flowers, whatever that means for

1651
01:48:37.280 --> 01:48:43.440
you, you know, versus like, I got this basket and it's empty disappointment. There's nothing.

1652
01:48:44.160 --> 01:48:48.240
Right. But if your basket's full and the flowers, the way I pictured them,

1653
01:48:48.240 --> 01:48:52.080
I don't know if you like bright flowers, but that's what I pictured in my mind's eye. That's

1654
01:48:52.080 --> 01:48:56.960
what the Lord put in my spirit. You just have this basket and it's full. Well, what it brings

1655
01:48:56.960 --> 01:49:01.920
back to mind for me is when you were talking earlier, instead of saying, cause I, I mean,

1656
01:49:01.920 --> 01:49:07.680
just this week I was telling her, I want this, I want this, I want this in my spirit mate is

1657
01:49:07.680 --> 01:49:15.600
saying, thanking God that he's bringing that into my life. Yes. God, thank you so much. Y'all,

1658
01:49:15.600 --> 01:49:19.920
I would literally pray before I would get on the apps and I would, I would say, God,

1659
01:49:19.920 --> 01:49:23.840
thank you so much that you're going to bring me healthy men to interact with God. Thank you so

1660
01:49:23.840 --> 01:49:27.520
much that I'm going to have fun in these interactions and I'm going to grow. I literally

1661
01:49:27.520 --> 01:49:35.280
just had to like really help myself get into the place of believing for good things. Right now,

1662
01:49:35.280 --> 01:49:43.520
did I still meet some kooky people? Y'all I did. I did, but I met some really awesome guys too.

1663
01:49:45.120 --> 01:49:50.480
I'm so grateful for that. And I think the praying and the believing and the heart posture that I

1664
01:49:50.480 --> 01:49:59.840
went in with, I think it all mattered because even on the kooky people, I just was like, well,

1665
01:50:00.000 --> 01:50:06.760
Okay. That wasn't a great experience, but bless him Lord, because the reality is, is

1666
01:50:06.760 --> 01:50:11.960
hurt people, hurt people, broken people do broken things. Right. I don't have to continue

1667
01:50:11.960 --> 01:50:19.000
to interact with them, but I can bless them and just keep moving on and not take it personal.

1668
01:50:19.000 --> 01:50:24.000
Right. And I think for you, you know, that stuff with that guy, you know, you still been

1669
01:50:24.000 --> 01:50:30.000
coming out of that. Yeah. I think at some point a big shift for you internally is going

1670
01:50:30.000 --> 01:50:38.440
to be when you really say that is not going to be my experience anymore. And you really

1671
01:50:38.440 --> 01:50:45.360
believe it, but God's going to help you get there. Yeah. It's one step at a time. Sometimes

1672
01:50:45.360 --> 01:50:52.200
it's the building and activating the belief first. Whose report are you going to believe

1673
01:50:52.200 --> 01:50:57.800
in Roseanne? I'm going to believe the report of the enemy. Who's telling you that there's

1674
01:50:57.800 --> 01:51:04.880
nothing left for you. There's no, you're it's over. You're dried out. I don't know that

1675
01:51:04.880 --> 01:51:10.240
he's saying that, but it's just what came up in my spirit. Ladies, there's a woman right

1676
01:51:10.240 --> 01:51:17.280
now. She's been in the program for a couple of years. Uh, she actually is similar to Lisa

1677
01:51:17.280 --> 01:51:22.880
went through some really tough stuff, made some unhealthy choices, uh, regarding sexual

1678
01:51:22.880 --> 01:51:28.040
things. Some people did some bad stuff to her sexually regarding that she didn't date.

1679
01:51:28.040 --> 01:51:33.680
She was married before. Was it really bad marriage? And she, I don't remember if she

1680
01:51:33.680 --> 01:51:38.600
went on dates after that or not a hundred percent, but it had been a while. It had been

1681
01:51:38.600 --> 01:51:45.280
a while. And, uh, she kept trying to talk to guys and they just were triggering each

1682
01:51:45.280 --> 01:51:47.920
other. It was just trigger, trigger, trigger. It wasn't good. It wasn't good. It wasn't

1683
01:51:47.920 --> 01:51:56.680
good for a long time. And you all, she met a guy a couple months ago and they are sweet

1684
01:51:56.680 --> 01:52:03.200
on each other. It's going well. And they're in Simbis right now, which is our saving your

1685
01:52:03.200 --> 01:52:08.000
marriage before it starts premarital coaching. She did not think it was going to be possible

1686
01:52:08.000 --> 01:52:14.840
for you, her. And I'm telling you what, she's like, I think mid to high seventies.

1687
01:52:18.480 --> 01:52:27.760
Y'all we're here. We're not dead. Yeah. Deborah age is no matter to God. It really

1688
01:52:27.760 --> 01:52:35.960
isn't. We think it's impossible because of age, location, whatever you want to fill in

1689
01:52:35.960 --> 01:52:41.960
the blank with our weight, our kids are this or that, you know? And God's just like, that's

1690
01:52:41.960 --> 01:52:48.000
like nothing for me. He's like, I got all kinds of 70 year old men up here or whatever

1691
01:52:48.000 --> 01:52:52.320
your age is. He's like, I'm just going to, I'm just going to lead you. I'm going to lead

1692
01:52:52.320 --> 01:53:00.120
them. You're 50 then. Hey, it's 50. Remember we're all in a line ladies. Remember I said

1693
01:53:00.120 --> 01:53:07.520
that earlier? Now, again, you still have to get out of your house and go do the things

1694
01:53:07.520 --> 01:53:11.080
that God asked you to do. Cause he's not, he literally won't drop them through the ceiling.

1695
01:53:11.080 --> 01:53:17.160
I don't think I wanted him to, I wanted him to bring the UPS guy. I'm having fun now.

1696
01:53:17.160 --> 01:53:21.640
We're really late tonight. I'm just having fun. But I did, I wanted the UPS guy to show

1697
01:53:21.640 --> 01:53:26.440
up at my door and I wanted him to be a healthy Christian man. And you know, it just wouldn't

1698
01:53:26.440 --> 01:53:32.880
be hard. But you know what God asked me to do? He asked me to go back on to online dating,

1699
01:53:32.880 --> 01:53:39.800
which I said, I just, I vowed I'm never doing online dating again. I made that vow because

1700
01:53:39.800 --> 01:53:46.800
when I met the girl's dad, I met him on eHarmony and it was horrible because he was bad. He

1701
01:53:46.800 --> 01:53:54.800
was really bad. I think he was a predator looking for, looking for his prey. I do. But

1702
01:53:54.800 --> 01:54:04.360
anyways, I digress. I went back onto online dating and I met my husband. If I had kept

1703
01:54:04.360 --> 01:54:10.960
partnering with that vow, you all, I wouldn't have met Brian. He was in a totally different

1704
01:54:10.960 --> 01:54:19.560
state, four and a half hours away from me. I said, I was never moving. These were vows

1705
01:54:19.560 --> 01:54:28.940
I was making. I'm never moving. I'm staying close to my girls. Has it been hard? Yes.

1706
01:54:28.940 --> 01:54:40.560
I miss them all the time. But now God led me to Indiana and now I'm in Florida. What?

1707
01:54:40.560 --> 01:54:49.420
I love Florida. You all, I wish my girls live closer, but I love Florida. God gave me desires

1708
01:54:49.420 --> 01:54:56.380
of my heart. I've always wanted to live by water. Always. So Roseanne, that was a long

1709
01:54:56.380 --> 01:54:59.660
story to tell you that it's about believing.

1710
01:55:00.000 --> 01:55:12.000
What's that song? Don't stop believing. I can't sing it. I'm so afraid. I can actually kind of sing you all, but I always get so afraid when I try to do it on this stuff.

1711
01:55:12.000 --> 01:55:24.000
Maybe listen to that song. I know it's not a Christian one, but hey, I think anything you can do when you're activating something, get a sign, you pray, you look up books about it, you know.

1712
01:55:24.000 --> 01:55:35.000
Now we ask you guys just to focus on the heart work here, but listen to song. Yeah, journey. Thank you. Yes. Yeah. Grow your faith, ladies. Pray. Ask God to give you more faith.

1713
01:55:35.000 --> 01:55:50.000
Do you know that God can literally give us the gift of faith? It can be a gift. I think so many times we think we just have to like muster it up all the time and work really hard and strive to have faith.

1714
01:55:50.000 --> 01:56:06.000
But God is like, hey, you know what? I want to give you a gift of a full measure of faith in this situation. And I really feel like that's what happened for me. I was praying for more faith to believe because I didn't want to limit God.

1715
01:56:06.000 --> 01:56:31.000
I don't want to live a limiting life. I still don't. Right. You can do this. So I want you to imagine yourself living a like like in my mind, I kind of picture like you really getting out there and getting all gussied up.

1716
01:56:32.000 --> 01:56:49.000
And like going places with your friends, even just to get really gussied up to go to Home Depot, like, ladies, we should be doing these things. Just FYI, you should be doing these things. Don't go out of your house everywhere looking like you just rolled out of bed being like, I'm going to meet my spirit mate.

1717
01:56:49.000 --> 01:57:11.000
Some of y'all, maybe you might meet your spirit mate like that. You might. But most of us don't. We got to look like we're trying a little bit. Right. Some of you, that's not hard at all. But for others, even myself, I work from home.

1718
01:57:12.000 --> 01:57:27.000
You know, I wear comfy shorts and T-shirts most of the time until I get on a live. And then sometimes I've got the comfy pants on down below. And I'm like, I love this online stuff because I can just wear the comfy pants and put a cute top on. And you never know.

1719
01:57:28.000 --> 01:57:50.000
Why am I saying that? Because you know what? I found myself lately just like I feel like getting dressed up. I don't even feel like wearing earrings anymore. I don't feel like why does maybe it doesn't matter. But like, it's not me. It's not me. I love to get dressed up. I love to wear earrings and do my hair.

1720
01:57:51.000 --> 01:57:59.000
And so what I recognize is when I start pulling back from all that stuff, something on the inside isn't feeling good.

1721
01:57:59.000 --> 01:58:25.000
So if some of you haven't gotten out there, curled your hair, put a little makeup on. If you're not a makeup person, it's fine. Just put a little, I don't know, a little glimmer or something over yourself. It's all right. Try something new. Go to a makeup. Some of you might be like, I don't have a clue how to do makeup. Go to a makeup counter. Sign up for a session.

1722
01:58:26.000 --> 01:58:47.000
You know, get some tips on like, go get a facial, get some tips on how to do some skincare. You know, we all need help with stuff. It's okay to admit what you need help with. If you need help with fashion, you know, there's these things out there where you guys can go and have, I forget what it's called, but like the panel done so that you know what colors to wear.

1723
01:58:47.000 --> 01:59:06.000
And so I'm not just talking to Roseanne now. Now I'm just telling y'all a bunch of stuff, but just like have fun with life and where you're at. And I think that, you know, some of the stuff too, that you went through right after you came into hard work, I'm sure that didn't make your journey easier, but I think that's going a little better. Right?

1724
01:59:06.000 --> 01:59:07.000
Yeah. Yeah.

1725
01:59:36.000 --> 01:59:59.000
Mine's a sign. Yours might be something totally different. Maybe God's going to ask you to draw something. I don't even know if you're an artist, but whatever your thing is, I would love to see what God leads you to in a picture of some kind and tell us, you know, again, this doesn't have to be right away. It can be next week, two weeks, whatever. And if you post it in an, if you move into another phase,

1726
02:00:00.000 --> 02:00:09.840
and you post it then, just tell the coaches to tell me and I will come over there and look at it because I'm going to see it.

1727
02:00:09.880 --> 02:00:10.800
Okay. Okay.

1728
02:00:10.920 --> 02:00:18.280
Seriously, don't stay here just to do that. But I do like my team is awesome. They'll be like, Hey, Bethany, somebody's over here

1729
02:00:18.280 --> 02:00:26.520
talking to you in this group. And I'll go over there and I'll I'll look at them and then respond there. Okay. Okay. Well, we

1730
02:00:26.520 --> 02:00:35.000
closed it down tonight. We closed it down. We had some fun talk. I hope that was helpful. I saw somebody said I needed this

1731
02:00:35.000 --> 02:00:46.840
advice. I'm glad. Yeah, people are rooting for you, Roseanne. Have fun with this stuff, ladies. Let your faith be restored and

1732
02:00:46.840 --> 02:00:54.320
rebuilt. Because man, you're freaking beautiful. And there's so much good out there for you. Let me pray. Father, thank you

1733
02:00:54.320 --> 02:01:02.560
so much for this night, God. Thank you for all of the time the ladies have given me and given you and given themselves tonight. I pray

1734
02:01:02.560 --> 02:01:08.920
that you would give them back time. I thank you that you would just continue to rebuild all the broken and fallen places in their

1735
02:01:08.920 --> 02:01:16.040
lives. Give them fresh hope God I pray that you give them dreams and visions of their lives and living in the fullness what that

1736
02:01:16.040 --> 02:01:22.680
looks like. God that you would inspire them encourage them that you would protect them from the evil one. God I know that you're

1737
02:01:22.680 --> 02:01:29.760
working in our hearts and our minds help them to recognize the thought patterns they've been living living in the limiting belief

1738
02:01:29.760 --> 02:01:34.960
systems that they partner with the inner vows that have been holding them back. And I thank you that you would help them to have the

1739
02:01:34.960 --> 02:01:42.160
courage and the grace to come out of alignment with those things and come into alignment with your truth with your freedom with your

1740
02:01:42.160 --> 02:01:52.200
hope. And I pray God that you just Yeah, thank you for supernatural breakthroughs and acceleration in their lives. In Jesus name. Amen.

1741
02:01:52.200 --> 02:01:58.200
God bless you all. I hope you have an amazing night. I'll see you all in the group. Bye everyone. Bye
