All right. Welcome to Men's Heart Shaking Monday, July 13th. Good to see you guys here.
I mean, Kenton, Dan, Thomas, Christopher, Jesse. I'm supposed to be Jackie, I guess.
David Henshaw and iPhone 15. There we go. We got everybody in the house.
iPhone 15 is Kevin.
Yeah, I know. Kevin, I don't know if you knew that. That was basically what your thing was
saying there.
Yeah, I'll have to go ahead and change it. I ran over my other phone with my excavator,
so this here's a new one.
Stuff happens, right?
Yeah, yeah.
All right, everybody. Let's get into this heart check-in. I want to tell you up front
here, we'll be probably a little short tonight. Jackie will probably hop on here in just a
few minutes, too. But anyway, I want to encourage you, there is going to be ... This Thursday,
there's going to be a session. It's an Ask Jackie slash Modern Dating Sucks book club
sort of like content. Coaching, personal questions, Ask Jackie, all that kind of stuff is really
important if you're interested and wanting to dive into some of that content. That is
going to be, I think this month, it's going to be this coming Thursday. So definitely
look out for that. I wanted to remind you of that as well. So make sure that you're
on there if you can be.
It's funny because we always have a different group of guys every Monday. It's kind of funny
how random our little group here seems to be Monday to Monday. I know I'm not down here
a lot, but I've been traveling a lot, doing a lot of things. So it's been crazy. Just
got back, just literally got back into town 30 minutes ago from Abilene, Texas. I don't
know if anybody's ever been to Abilene, Texas.
Yep.
Don't go. If you can all help it. It's nothing really to see, not really exciting. The comment
that I had in my head to anybody that asked was, in order to live in Abilene, Texas, you
have to really, really, really, really want to be there. I don't know why. That's all
I can say about it. It's as if, it's as if that city has been revitalized, you know,
after like 20, 23 years, 25 years, something like that. Revitalized four different times
and completely forgotten each time. Like, I don't know how a city can get as, it's just
strange. I don't know. It's small and it's just kind of weird. And I don't know.
There's some good people there.
I'm kind of being really hard. Thomas, I know you're always going to bring it back
to, you know, something positive and kind and that's always good. I like that about
you.
Abilene made it into Ella Langley's hit song.
That's the thing right now. That's the hot thing. Should have never taken him to back
to Abilene.
Yeah.
I get it. And it's true.
There's something about it.
Yeah. And there must be a honky tonk there or something. One thing is there is about
20 miles out of town. There's a huge complex of data centers that are going in there. So
that's, it's kind of changing the complexity of the city a little bit in terms of workers
coming in and different people running those facilities. So maybe, maybe there's a little
bit of resurgence coming back. Hopefully, maybe it'll boost the economy a little bit.
Anyway, so, so anyway, so guys, let's get into it. Who, who's got something to share
tonight? Got to bring to the table. What's going on? Haven't heard from a lot of you
in just a moment. So give me what you got. Let's, let's talk.
It's been a crazy couple of weeks.
Go ahead.
Yeah, it's been, it's been a crazy couple of weeks for me.
Okay.
So, so it's like two weeks ago out of the blue, somebody from this last year single
community reached out to me. This was, my coach was like, just have like a short list
of like names and then just proactively like reach out. And one of them did respond back
to me, wanted to give it a shot. So, you know, we've been texting, that'd be like video calls.
we finally met each other like on Friday in New York City, it went really good and
oh but it's yeah but it's one of those things that I guess she thought that she was ready for
another like long distance relationship thing and she's not so so we had like how long is it
so are you in Connecticut is that what CT is yeah okay so like two hour difference two three hour
yeah because she lived in she lived somewhere in Pennsylvania she's not too far from an Amtrak so
she was able to like take the train an hour into New York City yeah which means she did another
hour she would have been in my neck of the woods and I kind of get it because where she lives
there's not like I guess I really should she had has been long distance like two hours or longer
so it's I guess after a while you just get tired of the constant like texting and video calls you
want to meet somebody like local so you can like do a face-to-face kind of thing I yeah I get it
but I guess the encouraging thing is it ain't me I'm not the problem like she went out of her way
to point out like I'm chock full of green flags it's just her okay I'm just gonna take that for
what it is that's discouraging as that is but yeah some encouragement there and some validation
um how in your journey up into last year single and then even within last year single what is
your remind me of your relationship uh history real quick are you have you been married divorced
what is it none none actually yeah never married never divorced no kids or nothing
okay all right and okay and then long time relationship I think the longest I've gone
was like three months it's never gone longer than that I see okay so you know sometimes people that
have never been married um they kind of had a one relationship or a couple relationship that maybe
went you know a year two or whatever like we're heading that way but just never got to that point
so that's why it's why we're asking so okay yeah so that's good validation um and your dating
history I mean have you dated a lot or not really done a bunch of that been kind of busy working
doing whatever life I have been busy with life and just doing a lot of healing by the time I got
right into that in my head I was like on the I was like approaching 40 and then
COVID happened and that's dating landscape changed all of a sudden it's a red flag
to never had a serious relationship before age 40 so here I am yeah yeah yeah no okay that's good
information anybody have some feedback uh I like the fact that you know you got validated in that
sense I love that thank you it's just one of those things it's been like a crazy long time
the dating apps don't work well for me no it took this long just to get some kind of response back
from anybody so I'd imagine it's probably gonna be another few years before the next opportunity
comes but right just try to stay positive no yeah no it doesn't have to be that long I believe in
you um I mean it's a lot of things in your control and a lot of things outside of your
control and it sounds like you did the best you knew how with what was in your control this time
and uh I don't know I'm really feeling that verse from Ecclesiastes that talks about not despising
the day of small beginnings oh yeah and um I don't know I'm I'm excited for you to build on
to build on this but that's that's an opinion I you know not not not really like a question
so I think that's great feedback yeah and I would agree with that because uh Dan I think um
were you spotlighted at one time on no not yet okay um there was I have seen you a lot in the
community and and not just on the guys calls but on some other calls and I'm pretty and I'm I'm
I feel like you have a good rapport because I feel like some of the engagement you've done
even say it's like some chatting sort of things that you have done you've got sort of a good
rapport with sort of the community in general so I think you've kind of known there so that's that's
a good thing so I agree with Thomas let's celebrate the win let's celebrate great beginning small
beginning but I don't think it has to be a long time between now and the next time I mean you
you might be surprised that getting involved with a community like this a either from within
the community or tangent to the community you might find
Find some, some, some real activity going on there.
So I think it's a very hopeful season for you.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Who else?
Anybody else?
Yeah, I can share a little.
Oh, go ahead.
Can you guys hear me?
Okay.
I'm driving.
Yeah.
Jesse, we can hear you.
Okay.
Um, good to see you guys again.
It's been a bit, um, I just, I just finished up like a season that I felt
like the Lord had led me into, and I was just trying to be obedient to
what I thought he was saying.
I had met a girl.
I felt like the Lord was leading me just to disconnect and from pursuing a
relationship for a season and like get off the one app that I was on.
Um, but prior to that, I connected with someone on that app and we were
chatting for about four weeks and it was really good.
She's a really great girl.
Um, just, yeah, a lot to like about her, but I was like, I was just feeling
convicted and like the Lord was leading me off and here I connected with someone
and I just felt like I needed to.
Um, I just let her know.
I said, Hey, I just feel like this is what the Lord is saying right now.
I just need to take a break.
And anyhow, that ended last Sunday or last Monday on the sixth.
Um, so I'm kind of back, back in the game, uh, or whatever you want to call it.
Um, but so I did connect with someone, um, online and yeah, I'm just trying to,
I don't know, like I'm kind of an all or nothing personality.
So like, it's hard for me to, I'm learning to like navigate this dating
thing, you know, and not go like all in and not, and not then feel like I need
to pull back and like, just be me and the Lord again and just kind of like
walk with the Lord in it, you know?
You know, and, and like, like this girl I'm talking to, like, I was really
excited when I saw her profile.
Um, I'm, I'm still interested, but it's not, I don't know.
I don't know if it's going to go anywhere.
So I'm not sure like when to like, you know, kind of cut ties or not.
Um, I don't know how much time to give it, how much effort to give it.
Um, but anyhow, the main thing is I'm back, I'm back in, and, um, you know,
a season of being open to, to, um, connecting with women, you know,
when you said, when you said it ended last Sunday or whenever it was like,
what was it that ended?
You, you were just talking
my, my season of just focusing on the Lord and this season.
Okay.
Got it.
I wanted to make sure I was clear on what it was that was, I got it.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, yeah.
I mean, I think it's kind of interesting.
Like you said, you're interested, like you're, I think you said you
were like into, or something, I don't know, into this girl or this lady.
Um, and you're not sure if you should pursue it.
Like, okay.
So after meeting her, like she has, she's like, she's from a really good family
and she's like, her dad's a pastor and she's, has a really sincere faith, but
she, um, her husband cheated on her and, um, she wanted to work it out,
but he wasn't interested.
So they, they divorced like three years ago and then she met someone
and they moved in together.
And then, um, it wasn't working out and she's like, this is not working.
And so they broke up.
And then in that same week, she found out she was pregnant from said Bella.
And I'm like, okay, like this is, this is a born again, woman of God.
But yet she, she found herself in that situation here.
I'm done driving now.
And I'm just, I feel like I need to like talk to her more about that
because I don't know, it just seems like that if you make, like, it's one thing
to like be tempted in the moment and like go too far, but it's another thing
to make the decision to move in with, with your boyfriend, like that's very
premeditated and like, how could you, in my opinion, like, how could you do that
when you have the spirit of God living in you?
But.
Yeah, well, I mean a lot of people a lot of people do a lot of things for a lot of reasons. I mean
Like the the how could you sort of thing? It's like well
Well, I mean, yeah
I know what I mean, but I mean it's definitely worth
like
How how she was divorced three years ago, but then within the first year it seems like I don't know. I'm just sorry
but then the first
All right, I don't have to get the phone disconnected from the car
Can you hear me we can't hear you but can you hear me?
He's getting his tech worked out you are currently muted
Yeah, you can't currently mute there Jesse now you guys I'm gonna leave and come back. I'm gonna leave. Okay, that's cool
That's cool, Jesse
Can you guys hear this equipment or not? I got on me. No
No, you can't hear anything on there
Yeah, anybody I mean like I feel like with Jesse's situation I wanted to come back someone to hear kind of like what's going on
but um
So we'll just move on to somebody else for now, but who's got something David Hinshaw. You just came on camera there. We got man
Yeah, I was just gonna say real quick with that situation with Jesse
I just see like I think her heart was extremely broken over the marriage
Sure, and that was like a huge open door for me to come in and just wreak havoc
I don't know. That's just what I'm sensing. But yeah, I mean, yeah
I mean, like I said, a lot of people do a lot of things for a lot of reasons
and
It is true it's just like
You know
What somebody does prior to you even knowing them?
Like definitely plays into the future, but at the same time it's just like
unpacking the the circumstances
The residual being that she she have she has this child, is that correct? Yeah. Yeah
She has like a 16 month old child and this is and this child is her only child or it's her only child
Yeah, her and her husband couldn't get pregnant
They're married nine years couldn't get pregnant
Then she is with this guy and they break up and she's pregnant
With his child. Yeah crazy. Yeah
Yeah, that's that's very
It's very difficult and that's a that's a really difficult situation to be in
because it does say a lot about like
You know
What her choices are and were at the time and like I said people do things for a lot of different reasons
Right, but it's been some time. I guess the really the biggest thing is
You know, where is she now in terms of you know, what does she want to do with her life?
I mean, obviously she has settled into the fact that she has this child
so basically it's not really any different than somebody who's single and has a
Child from previous relationship at this point right something still going on that just is you know
Not healthy, but if she's in a healthy space and a healthy place and she's like look at that was a while ago
Even though it seems recent history. That was you know more than a couple years ago and
I'm in a different place and I'm ready to you know, move my life forward. So that's really the greater conversation
Yeah, obviously there are those
Realities that you would have to deal with basically, okay. This is a person's been in
Previous relationship previously married has a child
So forth. Yeah, so how do you how do you I know you've got several children
Yeah, a whole brood of children. And so how does it how would you feel just normally?
Connecting with somebody already has children regardless of
the situation
Yeah, I'm and I mean, I'm definitely open to it for sure. You were already open to that. I'm open to it. Yeah, but I
Guess I haven't really gotten and I'm not serious with her. But as I'm thinking about
You know continuing communicating with her. I'm like, I guess I'm thinking about a little bit more. I'm like that is a big
It is a big consideration to raise I mean I would be
if it would move forward and we would like get married like I would be helping to raise this this boy, you know that
that um
Yeah it
It's just I mean we think you know, it's making me think more
Do you know you think you know until it's you think you know
You have the answer till it's right in front of you and it requires a deeper answer. And so that's something that
I am thinking about a little bit more now.
It's like, how do I feel about that?
You know, I know it's definitely a big possibility
that I'm going to, whoever I connect with will,
there's a good chance that they will have children.
You know, maybe not, but.
What was it that caused you to be interested
in this woman that you know?
I mean, how did you meet her?
It was just through an app.
Like, we don't, we're just chatting a little bit.
Like, we haven't even chatted that much, but.
Do you not really know her?
I don't know her that well, but she definitely,
like, we align spiritually and like our theology is very,
like, she's like, her dad's a Pentecostal pastor
and like, she sings, she leads worship at their church,
you know, so she, there's a lot of like,
we have in common from like a belief standpoint
and what our expectations are in that realm.
And anyhow, it's more of a side note.
It's not really a main topic to talk about.
The main topic was, I'm just, I'm open to,
you know, I'm, you know, I'm looking to date again.
So that's the topic, so.
That's awesome, that's great for you.
I love that.
I love that you're open.
Yeah, I don't think I would kind of just push back on,
not even really hard, but just kind of like, you know,
I feel bad for the fact that you feel like
you have to like push and pull.
It's like start and stop, start and stop, start and stop.
And so I'm just wondering if there's something there
that you feel like, like, why did you,
I mean, is it like overwhelming?
Is there other things going on in like life?
And so just like, life is hard.
And so it's kind of like, hey, I just, I'm just like,
I don't have the capacity for that
in terms of like trying to do the dating thing.
And then I've just got to sort of reset.
Is that kind of like the pattern
or is it something else there that you feel like
is something that you would want to work through
so that you don't feel like you have to start
and stop all the time?
Yeah.
That's the thing I think probably is the biggest question.
Yeah, that's a good question.
So like how it happened, like I really truly felt like
I wasn't necessarily looking to not be dating,
but I just really felt like the Lord led me into a season
of just really focusing on him.
And I was talking to a girl at the time
and I really thought there could be something there,
but I was just trusting the Lord.
And so that's why I did that.
But in general, I am an all or nothing type personality.
And I just know I need to work on just kind of like,
yeah, just meeting, allowing the Lord to like walk me
through things in the moment, which he has,
but like in the season I'm in, you know, and I don't know.
I think part of it too is like, I have a hard time,
like I don't want to like hurt people either.
Like, so like I've met different girls that are great girls.
And if the Lord's like, that's the one for you,
I would be happy with it.
But I just feel like, I guess I'm still learning
like really what I'm aiming for.
Yeah.
So in that process, I'm like, well,
do I like date to learn that and just kind of like
meet people and then like say thanks, but no thanks
or do I kind of figure out more exactly
what I'm looking for and then pursue that only
or early on that?
I think a couple of things and I think,
and please anybody else chime in if you've got something
because I think I will say this.
I think every man, every man is,
especially if you have some sort of conscientiousness
about your life.
There are a lot of guys that are just going through life
at their own speed, at their own desire,
at their own just, it's all about me.
I'm just trying to get my thing.
And I would say most of those individuals aren't yielding
to probably a lot of,
if you're not making space to sort of like hear the voice
of the Lord leading you in things,
there's a way to be strong in your faith
and way to be like in agreement with what God's doing
in your life and you're going after things.
And then being in still alignment with the Lord
and getting reset and refreshed and getting re-fired,
all that versus the stereotypical guy that's out there
just trying to get his thing.
Whereas like he's not paying attention to God at all,
not paying attention to anybody else,
not paying.
attention to, you know, any sincerity or value around him in terms of relationships, that
kind of thing, that guy.
So I don't think any of us are that guy, the stereotypical type A, just trying to get his
sort of guy.
I don't think any of us are that.
So having said that, I think we are sort of like that first guy who is, I feel like guys
who have any kind of conscientiousness about, you know, doing good things with their life
struggle between like, oh, I've got to reset and I've got to like the start and stop thing.
Like I'm doing really good, but then something happens and I feel like I'm out of balance.
And so therefore I've got to like pull back and I've got to like, you know, whether it's
whether it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, whether it's a behavior thing that you feel like is
like not worthy, or if it's just something you just don't feel confident in, like maybe
it's just a loss of confidence.
Maybe, you know, you're just not like, I don't know who I am.
So I think getting clarity is really, really important.
So if you're like, I just need to get clear on what it is I want, what I'm going after,
I think that is definitely for sure something because getting clarity really helps you to
combat that starting and stopping, especially regardless of whether it's relationships or
your career or your health or whatever it is that you're going after.
You don't want to like, like start and stop, start and stop.
Now in the same way, if you're trying to just, you know, motivate yourself to achieve a goal
and you have to continue, like, I'm not against starting as many times as you need to start.
If you're trying to develop a new habit, if you're trying to develop a new regime or
a new regiment or a new routine, you got to start and start and start and start as many
times as you can to make that thing a habit, especially if it's something good you're trying
to train in your life, that's a different thing.
But if you feel like you're like starting and stopping in terms of the things that you
have a strong desire for, i.e. family and like something that you want to establish,
then I think it's probably a moment of clarity that you need to have as far as like really
spending some time and you don't need to spend like weeks and months.
It may just be a weekend.
It may be a full 24 hour period where you're like getting really intentional about, Hey,
what is it that I want?
Like I'd be honest, you know, I want this, I want, you know, and that's, and it's more
than just, I want to be married and have a great woman.
Like be very specific about what it is you want and be very honest.
That's the other thing, because if you're struggling with something, then the honesty
that you have in that moment of getting clarity, you need the voice that as well.
Like look, Lord, I want this, but I'm struggling because I feel like my desires may be, you
know, leading me in another direction that I don't want either, but I really want value.
I want a marriage and I want this, I want those things.
And so I want to develop those patterns of behavior, patterns of thinking, patterns of
a spiritual awareness that lead me into those goals and those things that I want and having
clarity on those goals and having clarity on what it is that you want.
That's the, I think the modern dating sucks book is really great at that because it has
a huge section constantly talking about getting clear, getting clear, getting clarity on what
you want out of a relationship and what kind of relationship and the specifics of that
relationship and how it connects to your life.
I think that's probably one of the greatest things you can do in this season of searching
is get clarity because then you don't have to date and always discovering, well, I mean,
you are discovering, but what I'm saying is you don't have to date like without intention.
It's easier to date because once you have clarity and you're going out on dates and
you're like, oh, this isn't lining up with the clarity that I've had with the, and I
think there's a lot of things, especially in the book that gives you the difference
between things that are non-negotiables and things that are preferences.
That's another thing to get clarity on.
What's the difference between those two things?
What is lots of things that people put up as preferences are actually non-negotiables
and vice versa.
Lots of things that people put up as non-negotiables are really not non-negotiables, they're just
preferences, but you think they're very important.
Getting clarity even on that is very important in order to move forward and have confidence
in moving forward.
Does that make sense?
Yeah, that makes sense.
Yeah.
So, and I think that will help you do.
you know, kind of go away from the starting and stopping, you know,
God's like, no start, no stop, no start, no stop.
Like that doesn't make any sense.
That seems like I'm there's like a confidence thing or a clarity issue or
whatever.
Yeah. And I haven't done a ton of that last year I did in April.
I started dating like March and April.
I dated like a lot and I was worn out and,
and overwhelmed and I had to just retreat.
Yeah. And I get it. And I'm, and I'm not talking, I mean, I'm just talking,
I think a lot of guys, a lot of guys deal with this.
I'm starting and stopping.
That's kind of why I'm addressing this broadly is because I think a lot of guys
are like, I feel good this week and I'm really going after it.
And then next week it's like, Oh,
I lost my confidence and something happened and whatever.
And I feel like I should pull back and that starting and stopping is just
kind of a time waster. And it's,
and it's not really the mind of God because I don't really think God's like,
go stop, go stop. Like, I don't think it's that kind of thing.
I think it's something that's,
we're getting in our way somehow and it could be an issue of clarity and it's
not something that's wrong with you. It that's life, bro. That is like,
that's how this world works. But the, the,
the thing what's great about being a son of God is that you're called
to, to be a part of the kingdom that has resources.
So you, you have this inroad to be able to have clarity,
to be able to have truth, to be able to have a North star, to be able to have,
you know, intentionality, a purpose, instead of just wondering, you know,
what am I, what am I doing? What am I here for? What do I want? You know,
I hope that helps because I think getting clarity,
I think is probably your, your, the thing that could help you out the most.
And sometimes it's just a long weekend, you know,
sometimes you take a long weekend, you know, like, you know what,
I'm going to set aside a long weekend and I'm going to really kind of get some
clarity. I'm going to pursue in prayer and I'm going to pursue in my heart and
mind. I'm going to journal, write some things down. I'm going to get some,
some resources that you're working through. Yeah. Yeah. Very helpful.
Yeah, it's good. And I did get clarity even recently,
like even specifically like today or in yesterday.
So even further clutter clarity. So it's good. That's good.
Yeah. I love it. Awesome. Thanks, Jesse, for, um,
sharing your heart and sharing what's going on with you.
Who else hit anybody else?
I kind of resonate with that sort of getting clarity thing. Yeah.
Yeah.
And not, not just clarity start, start at all. I mean, I, I haven't,
I haven't probably dated in
eight years, 10 years. I don't know a long time.
I mean, I do live in a small town and I am in Alaska, but
I mean, I've always been open to it. If somebody comes along, great.
But, uh, with, with my work and stuff,
I don't really have time to go look either right now.
We're working a six 12. So.
Yeah. Wow. I, um, I met,
I just met a lady from Alaska, uh,
in California a couple of weeks ago.
She was a new member of our, the mastermind that I'm a part of.
And she told me she was from a little town and I'm trying to find it on the
map right here. Boy, that was a really weird town.
She said it was way on the Eastern end.
There's a Yakut.
She out like him. Oh, yeah. I could take, yeah.
Is, or maybe it's another little town. I'm not really sure, but she has.
Fly in only.
Fly. Oh, fly in only. Maybe it's.
Might be able to get to my boat. I can't remember. I've been there once or twice.
Really? Wow.
Uh, I, I get to go a lot of places with my job. So.
It might not be that far remote.
It just seemed like it was a little less like not flying necessarily, but,
um, yeah, I can't remember the name of the town. Anyway,
this site was interesting. Somebody said they were from Alaska and she's recently
widowed. Um,
she owns a store and she owns a grocery store and a hardware store in town that
her husband started, or I guess her husband's father started.
And it's been a part of the family business. And so she's kind of like,
kind of coming up to try in the last couple of years,
trying to come up and trying to lead that and kind of discover what she's going
to do with it. So.
I just, I don't know where to start. I mean, I don't,
I don't know if I should, you know, first of all,
I don't know if I should get in that position.
I should start pursuing a relationship even though I'm working so many hours or, or, you
Yeah. It's a little bit of a,
it's a little bit of a struggle to get in that position.
know, and just, it'll be just what it is, you know, but I'm not real trusting of the
Yeah.
dating apps either because all, all I've had, uh, probably 98% of the women that I've connected
with online always end up asking for money and that's a, that's a problem.
And if I say no, that's pretty much it.
I mean, they'll butter me up for months and months cause I'm right out front when he asked
me for money, we're done talking, you know, my, my son's been in a relationship for four
years.
His girlfriend don't ask him for money.
I just, uh, you know, I haven't even met you in person yet, you know?
And I think, I think that's a fair point.
Yeah.
That's rough.
There's a lot of that going on there on those apps.
Um, yeah, getting Kevin, uh, for sure.
Um, yeah, I'm with you as far as, you know, just like what to do and getting clarity.
I think that's definitely something in your situation that, um, you know, you're going
to have to really ask the Lord, like, what, you know, what do you want me to do here?
Like, how can I get clarity on what it is that, that I want here?
And right now, I mean, I feel like, I feel like in your situation, you feel like you
have to work a lot because, you know, it's what you got to do to make a living.
So I get it.
Yeah.
And in the summer, November until May, you know, so, which is when I started this was
while I was out there.
You might be able to find a seasonal woman there's, there's for sure.
I mean, I don't mean a seasonal, just a woman for the season.
What I mean is like a woman who understands the seasons, like, you know, somebody who's
native to that sort of life can understand that and appreciate it and, you know, and
believe that.
So yeah, definitely get clarity there.
David, you got your hand raised, which you have a, yeah, I just wanted to share real
quick two weeks ago.
I got in a car accident and I'm still dealing with the aftermath of that, like injuries
and all that.
I heard about that and I'm sorry that that happened.
Thank you.
I appreciate it.
The car got totaled.
So basically I'm in a place where I can't really get a car until things get settled.
I'm going through a lawyer because the person who's hit me was driving a company vehicle.
Oh wow.
So, I mean, so I have a potential for a case there, but like if my injuries aren't like
significant enough, then there's basically no case and it just ends with no, no, you
know, financial compensation, unfortunately on that car, I was backwards on the boom,
so it's not even going to pay it off.
So, um, so yeah, so, um, but I guess getting to the theme of tonight, um, I've been wanting
to head down to, you know, Nashville area, Franklin, see, uh, Renee, she was going to
set me up with seeing a bunch of people and I just feel like it's kind of like both are
going on.
I feel like maybe it's not the right time yet, like putting the cart before the horse,
but I also feel like it's warfare too.
Like I just keep getting blocked.
It's like, like no matter what I do, I cannot, it feels like I cannot leave this place.
Like I've been wanting to take like a trip outside of Pennsylvania for like a year and
a half now and it just hasn't happened.
So there's always, always something coming up.
So, but I mean, I'm in a very different place now than I was even four months ago.
So a year ago, you know, it, it stunk, but like I wasn't really in a place to even do
something like that, you know, just, just take a trip.
Yeah.
So, yeah, that's for sure.
Well, I, I just, I just pray, I just agree with you and pray that this financial situation
with the car, whatever's going to happen legally or insurance wise or whatever, that that happens
quickly and it happens in your favor so that you can make an advancement here.
Because I mean, I, I agree with you, like, yeah, what a time for something like this
to happen, but I believe this is something that's, it can still be opportunity.
God's, God's a miracle worker.
He's amazing at making things work out in your favor.
And so I just agree with you that's going to happen so that you can still continue to
move forward.
Because I think that would be a great idea for you to go down and check out Nashville
and get introduced.
And that's an awesome, that's an awesome invitation.
So I pray that you're going to be able to be able to take advantage of that.
Thank you.
I appreciate that.
Yeah, for sure.
Who else has got something on here, guys?
I'm happy to share a little.
Yeah, it's been a while since I've seen all of you.
I've been just.
I, I, I've been working on productivity stuff and I learned that if we have 168
hours per week and we sleep eight hours a night, um, then we have 112 hours left.
And figuring out what do you do with those 112 hours?
Um, I'm really running into a lot of my limitations in some really great ways.
And, uh, it's forcing me to start being more creative.
Um, uh, since last time I've been here, um, some highlights are, um, I've been
continuing to do scuba stuff.
I just finished my wreck diver, um, like shipwreck certification.
Oh, wow.
Um, uh, had, um, my second ever guitar performance in Hollywood.
Wow.
Um, uh, a few weeks ago with the school of rock band, like adult band, uh, yeah.
And then, um, uh, and then, um, I think, yeah, working on poetry, writing, you
know, all that kind of stuff more.
And I feel like God invited me to meet him at the Raphael art
exhibit at the New York Met.
So I went out there, um, and, um, it was, it was really inspiring that Raphael's
teacher talked about art had the potential to help people pray and
experience spiritual delight.
Oh, wow.
That's not that, you know, I'd been really struggling with how to create
something positive from art instead of negative.
Um, so it was tremendously helpful.
I would say romantically, um, I had felt, I felt just the, just this deep
longing for just getting things more in a place of togetherness in, in, in the
sense of my life, like getting my life kind of on, on track and, but this, this
last week, um, I was on hinge and I was so happy, um, there, there are all these,
you know, the people behind the Rose gates, um, that, uh, sometimes I
disqualify myself for, and I've been, I've been working on being more playful
on, on the apps with some mixed amount of success.
Um, and, uh, I feel like I really reached a place of not disqualifying myself as
much, like when I see someone that I think is really amazing, I, in the past,
I've tended to think like, oh, they're, you know, they're too amazing.
They're not going to want to, I think, I think that, um, this last week I was
really grateful to reach a place of saying like, well, you know, it seems
like people who are on these apps really want to be in a relationship.
And I'm going to start letting the ladies decide whether or not they want to share
time with me instead of disqualifying myself.
Yeah, absolutely.
So, so I'm really grateful for that.
It feels like a move in a good direction.
And I think that, that like you were talking about David, David, there's
something I think about getting in touch with, um, your heart.
That's something that.
You know, every day, you know, I know, I know that's a lot of journey for all of
us, but I feel like there's a lot of conflict if you are saying, well, I need
to disqualify myself from what my heart is saying that it wants.
Yeah.
Um, so yeah, that's a good way to put that.
Um, so grateful to be getting rid of a little bit more conflict.
Um, I think today also I was reading about Solomon and him building the
temple and just feeling despair just at not doing great things like him or David
or Abraham Lincoln or whoever.
Yeah.
Like we probably don't have enough information to accurately judge ourselves
in comparison with other people.
And so to try to see that, and I felt like when I keep myself in that comparison
mode, it causes me to view members of the body of Christ as competitors instead
of like, who's going to be closest to God, kind of a thing instead of service
oriented and, um, in partnership.
So you tend to have that sort of mindset sometimes in terms of like hierarchy,
like where kind of does fitting people where they kind of like fit, like not
trying to judge, but I'm just trying to say, you have a tendency to like categorize.
I have a tendency to view myself negatively and view other people positively.
Okay.
And compare my kind of what I project to be my weaknesses compared to what I
perceive to be their strengths, which are probably a hundred percent accurate.
Well, yeah.
I've heard comparing weaknesses to strengths, totally opposite.
That's like, yeah, a hundred percent.
You're going to lose every time.
Well, yeah.
You know, and, and it can be inspiring, but it turns out I think
there's different kinds of inspiring.
So there's like, I don't know if any of you have been reading like Blake
Healy's like veil series, but he talks about like watching two people running
in the park and one of them is being prodded.
by a demon, you know, like, you're not good enough,
you have to run.
And then the other one is running like with angels
and like from a place of celebration and care
and that kind of stuff.
So I think I've been working a lot more on like,
how am I doing what I'm doing?
Yeah.
I think so.
Like motivation for why?
Yeah, I hope so.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's like, what are we trying to accomplish?
Like with this mentality here?
Yeah, why are we doing
what we're doing, but also why are we doing it this way?
You know, like, yeah.
I like that.
I love the fact that you're,
I love the fact that you're trying to do
the comparison game less
and that you're also seeing the value
because as far as I've known you on these Zooms,
I think you're pretty incredible, fascinating dude.
So I'm just surprised that you have this sense
of kind of like, I'm surprised, but I'm not surprised.
Like I get it.
I understand there's a lot of people that are like,
you know, they don't, you know,
from whether it's a sort of a wound from childhood
or wound from like, just kind of growing up,
the environment, you can basically be an amazing person,
but being nurtured all of your life in a situation
where, you know, you're never good enough,
you're never this, you're never that.
So you develop that script and I get it.
So, but I love the fact that you're coming out of that
and that is like, you're just becoming more aware
and giving the space.
Like, I love that about the dating thing.
Like, I'm just gonna let this person decide more on where,
you know, whether they want more from me
because I've got more, there is more there.
Like I can be delightful for days.
You know, I can be delightful for an hour,
two hours or whatever it is.
Like I can, I can do it.
And so I love the fact that you're feeling yourself
with that.
Um, remind me where, and like where,
what part of California again?
All right, are you in LA?
I know you're in LA, but like what part of LA?
Santa Monica.
Oh, Santa Monica.
Okay.
Yeah.
We were, we were just there in that area,
but we went, we went to Santa Monica just for the evening
and we were like, you just kind of like trying to go
to the pier and bikes for a moment on the beach.
But I, I, we're coming back to that area
and I definitely, I definitely want to be intentional
about getting with you because I'd love to have dinner
and, you know, eat up and have coffee or something.
That'd be great.
Yeah.
Do you want, do you want me to email you?
Do you want to email me?
What would, what would work best for that?
Yeah. I just, I have, um, I don't know if I,
you have my email, right?
Uh, I think so.
It's like David, David at JaneMedia.org.
Jane Media, J-A-N-E, yeah.
What's that?
Who?
This is Thomas.
No, um, Silverman, he's been around for a long time,
but we have a mastermind sent at that time.
Is it a guy that works in the industry?
Oh, Matthew Silverman.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So make sure you say that on there.
For sure, yeah.
Matthew's, he's not on here tonight,
but yeah, Matthew for sure too.
Matthew's in that area as well.
Oh really?
Yeah, you didn't know that.
Yeah. He's in the, he's in the Hollywood area.
He's, um, like a car, um, graphics, uh,
I, and a butcher or whatever it is.
He's, I'm just going to simplify, but he's, he does like,
uh, animation.
That's what it is.
He's in the animation sort of thing.
And he's like been, you know,
trying to get into back into the industry.
It's a very, very competitive.
Yes, it is.
All right.
So good, good, good guys.
Who else?
Tim, you're on video.
You got something you got on video?
You got to want to share tonight.
Um, what are we sharing?
I missed the meeting.
Oh, we're just like anything.
We, we just happen to be on a theme of kind of like
talking about like getting clarity and, but,
but just kind of updating us on like, you know,
what's been going on with you and,
and anything that's on your heart you want to share?
Mostly just work is what's going on with me.
Um, since a bunch of people on this week
were not on last week's call, but were on previous weeks,
I will update you that absolutely massive
quarter million dollar window project I had going at work.
I have a verbal commitment on,
and I finally today got the final subcontractor bid.
So I'm going to be able to send that
to the homeowner tomorrow.
And I should get a signature later this week.
Awesome.
Great, great.
I love that.
It's always good when you have a win in business
and it makes you feel like it's good.
And of course the cast associated,
that's always good as well.
So are you commission based?
Yeah.
Like a hundred percent commission or?
Yep. One hundred percent commission.
Wow. Yeah.
That's high stakes right there for sure.
Yeah. This will be the biggest paycheck I've ever seen.
Awesome good for you, man. That's awesome. What are you gonna? Do you have any plans what you're gonna do?
Have an emergency fund. Ah
Good good
That's awesome. How responsible of you now? You do need to take a small portion of that and
Celebrate. Okay. Yeah, just whatever it is that you deem
worthy I'm thinking about getting some like
Ride rep for my mountain bike maybe a new handlebar and some new pedals nice
Definitely definitely take yourself out to dinner and have a have a great have a nice dinner
Okay. Yeah for sure. It's always good. Good good thing to do
Okay, man, awesome great win I love that Tim thanks for sharing that
Relationship front anything going on there? No, nothing new. Nothing new. Okay, and
And
Christopher I know I don't Chris there was the other Christopher was on here
He was on it earlier. So I was gonna get to him, but he kind of popped off look like so I think Christopher
Had like he was pursuing a relationship but that kind of went a different direction a
couple weeks ago and so I just kind of wanted to hear an update on that, but
I'm gonna miss out that I have to follow up on them some other way
All right. Anybody else got anything?
Mm-hmm
Christopher de Lucia, do you have anything to share? I don't know if you're able to I know you're at work a lot sometimes or
Nothing really happening I was getting ready to go see somebody this
This weekend, but she thought I wasn't being intentional. So we're kind of out of contact. Oh
Like you weren't intentional enough is that basically what she was saying?
I I guess I you know what I had to give her wasn't enough
I was already I was already hip deep in a couple of other things. I was doing so I wasn't yeah
Yeah, you know I wasn't
Intentional enough to drop everything I had going on to plan something out with a woman. I don't know
So yeah now, I mean it could be difficult
especially when you've got things going on to explain that to somebody who's
doesn't understand your life, you know, so that's that could be challenging and
Hopefully some people would give you a grace for that, but I guess not
Sorry to hear that
Yeah, sorry to hear that
Okay, I think that's everybody everybody got good shared and I think I love that and
I'll remind you to have Jackie shouted for the other room Thursday. So again Thursday
It's gonna be a good session. If you want some coaching some hot seating some
More information about modern dating sex, but it's also gonna be asked Jackie as well. So
Definitely check that out in the app 7 p.m. Central on Thursday if you can be there, so
But yeah, yes, go ahead Jesse
Can I ask a question about a girl in the in the community or should I email that?
I mean, I mean like ask a question about if anyone knows her if anyone knows anything about her. Oh, who is it?
Autumn Horton. Oh
Jackie knows her
Thanks. Well, okay. Yeah, I'm sure she
I've seen I've seen the name. I don't know. I don't know who she is
But I think you don't know about autumn Jackie wants to know I
Don't I mean, I don't know. I mean she seems like
Interesting for sure seems she seems pleasant
Yeah, you can you can message Jackie or send us the email and so she can send us an email
at Jackie dorm comm and then
Jackie can pick that up and kind of like
You know make it make a connection if if or, you know in an interaction if that's what you want
Or that's what she wants. She kind of does that
Okay, so
All right. I think I heard
So yeah, I can do that. I think I think you've dm'd her before
Yeah, thank you. Jackie that is
Okay
All right. Sounds good guys. God bless
Thanks for being here tonight. I I
Speak blessings and life health wealth and prosperity over you in Jesus name
I thank you right now Lord for these men who are pursuing after righteousness
Who are pursuing clarity in their lives in their jobs their careers their relationships?
I thank you Lord for these good men. I thank you. We need more men that are good men and that
That want to raise up a righteous seed
And so I just I just give you praise for it in Jesus name and what you're doing in each and every one of these
guys life in Jesus name
Amen. Amen. All right, guys. God bless. Have a great, great rest of your evening.