WEBVTT

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There we go. Awesome. Awesome. Okay. So, yes. Welcome, ladies. It is July 14th. It's Tuesday.

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It's Love Story Accelerator Phase 2. It's our 1 o'clock call today. We've got two calls,

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our community calls. Just remember, we have two calls on Tuesday. And while we cover the

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same content, both calls are usually really different because we have different ladies

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on, different questions. We've got two different coaches. So, we definitely enjoy that we have

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two different perspectives and two different opportunities. I know we have ladies from

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all over, all over the world, actually, that jump on. And so, it's nice to be able to have

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these two different times because sometimes the evening calls are the middle of the night

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or super early in the morning for our ladies that are in Europe. Or sometimes these afternoon

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calls are like the perfect, you know, time for those ladies. And then sometimes these

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afternoon calls are not the greatest because for those ladies here in the States because

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y'all are working, all right? And some of you, you're here and you can only participate

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by listening and you might not be able to engage as much. So, you might jump in and

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be able to listen, but then you can jump in on the evening call and participate a little

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more. So, it's always really good to see your faces if you can. And so, I always try to

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let you ladies know, like, if you can come to one live and then watch the other one in

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replay, that's the best opportunity. And then if not, just kind of always kind of go back

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and forth. And, you know, if you can't make it live, it's okay. We've got them in replay,

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but maybe one week watch the evening replay and then the next week watch the afternoon

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replay. So, you get a little different dose, you'll see a little variety of women, hear

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some different questions and whatnot. So, all right, we're going to go ahead and cover

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some quick housekeeping items and then I'll open us up in prayer. And then I hope today

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is just going to be more of like kind of a girl talk session sort of thing, just kind

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of fun and light. You know, I feel like our sessions over the last like month or so have

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been pretty heartwork heavy. I'm typically heavy on the heartwork. I've been here for

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since the beginning. So, heartwork is something that I have lived and breathed and continue

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to live and breathe. And so, it's just naturally something that I gravitate to. But I want

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us to have fun and let our hair down and just be able to just, yeah, let our hair down,

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have some fun. All right. So, yes, you can definitely just listen because you're at work

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totally fine. This is also like, I know the evening, I think Ebony has a little more people

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on and a lot more people that are able to engage. And so, I think she does breakouts,

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which is so exciting. And I actually love being able to do those breakouts, but on these

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afternoon calls, it's a little harder because ladies are at work and can't unmute. So, I

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don't typically do breakouts on this one o'clock session. So, but it's totally fine if you're at

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work. So, if you don't usually come on because you're at work and you feel like, well, I can't

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come on because I can't participate. Don't let that hold you back. Like if you're able to still

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listen, come on. As you see, we have several ladies that are at work and they might not be

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able to unmute, but sometimes they'll sit there and type in the chat. So, don't let that hold

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you back. So, yes. Do I have any brand new ladies that are with us on today? Chantella,

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is this your first time to one o'clock? Yes. Okay. But not your first time to phase two. Okay. That's

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what I thought. Well, I'm happy to see you, but I'm glad to know that you are still familiar here

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with phase two. But ladies that are watching and replay, for those of you that don't know me,

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I am Karla Johnson. I'm one of your coaches here at Last Year Single. And as I just

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shared. I have been in this program since the beginning in 2020. I was a single myself,

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went through the program, went through the hard work, did all the things, all right, did Jackie's

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courses, you know, pushed and pulled and tugged and fought her sometimes with it.

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Um, and then, uh, I can gratefully say that I am, I am a success story. So I did, uh, get married.

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So we are coming up on our three-year anniversary here in September. So I have a little wisdom

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there. So I do like to share that with you ladies, um, from time to time. Um, some quick

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announcements, ladies, Modern Dating Sucks, the book Jackie just released a couple months ago.

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She's had a couple book clubs that she's got under her belt. And what's exciting is she's

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letting out another one. All right. I think one of our ladies, uh, had posted in our app and was

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asking about that. And I had no clue that Jackie was planning to do another book club. So, um, I

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was like, oh no, like I, she did too. I don't know if she's doing another one. And as soon as that,

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um, post came in and I replied, it was like the next morning I get an email and saw that Jackie

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was doing another book club. So if you are still interested in joining the book club because you

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haven't been able to do that, and maybe now you have an opening in your schedule that starts

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July 19th, go ahead and check your email that you used to sign up for last year's single,

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because that's where you're going to find your information to get signed up. Okay. Um, if you

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don't see the email, check your spam. Okay. That happens to me frequently that somehow like my

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important emails, especially sometimes from Jackie will like get thrown into my spam. I have no why,

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no idea why. So make sure you click it and say, Hey, this isn't spam. Um, but check there. Okay.

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Um, also ladies, if you could do us a, um, solid, I want, I really, really want to get this message

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across because I want you ladies to feel comfortable and know that I know one of the

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ladies did it earlier this week. And I've even encouraged ladies throughout the years to do this.

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If, if you can make a, make a new post, if we've somehow overlooked an old post of yours that you

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are waiting for a response to that we've somehow maybe have overlooked and missed, um, just post a

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new comment or a new post and let us know. So we can go searching for that. Um, or even if you've

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responded to us after we've commented and you were like, asked another question and you were

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like, okay, Hey, I responded to you. Can you go check that out? Um, don't hesitate to post another

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like comment for us, like another, another brand new post. Um, cause coaching is honestly like,

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that is how we serve you. And, um, and being able to do that, that's how we, we can steward and

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honor you and serve you really well. And so I never want you to hesitate, um, to let us know,

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like if we've overlooked that. Okay. Cause our intention is never to overlook any posts,

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but I will say there are times with the scrolling, as I'm sure you've experienced,

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you get scrolling and, and there's glitches or like jumps or something. And so they can

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sometimes get missed. So, um, thank you for when you do that and let us know. Um, somebody did that

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this week and I was able to, to jump and see that, you know, someone was like, Hey, I replied and I

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was still, and there was another question that I asked within my post. So I was able to go look

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for that. And then I was able to respond to them. So please make sure that you do that. Ladies,

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definitely check out that resource tab. Okay. If you're ever interested in a one-on-one coaching

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session, that's where you're going to find it. Um, one-on-one sessions are not mandatory. Just

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keep in mind that those are not included in the membership fee for like your monthly membership

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fee. Those are an additional charge. Um, some ladies find those one-on-one sessions to be a

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really huge benefit.

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But I want you to understand that those are not always necessary for breakthrough, okay?

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But what that includes is a 50-minute, 5-0, 50-minute session with a last-year single coach that you choose.

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And so when you go to that tab, you'll get to see a list of the coaches, and you click on those coaches.

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It will pull up our schedules so you can pick the coach and the schedule that works best for you, okay?

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So just keep that in mind. That's always an option. It's always available.

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Sorry, I had a hair kind of tickling my arm there for a second.

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And then a couple other things. Live coaching today.

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If I didn't get to your question last week, and you had your hand raised last week, and I didn't get to your question,

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and you have a question this week, when we get to that opportunity, that time to ask questions,

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will you please let me know, hey, Carla, we didn't get to me last week, but I do have a question this week.

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I want to make sure that I take you first this week because I really want to make sure that we rotate who we hear from.

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I really want to be intentional about that.

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I know at times, you know, people have their hand raised, and we can get going with these questions

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because you ladies asked some really incredible questions that are really good content that we can really teach from.

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But I don't want to overlook some of you ladies that might have to jump off right at a certain time.

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And so I want to make sure that we get to that.

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And last, can I request something? I need a volunteer.

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Okay, so don't volunteer yet until you know what I need you to help me with.

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All right, this is what I need help with, okay?

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I need someone to be my eyes for the chat.

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Okay.

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If someone could just help me out, it would be a huge, huge blessing.

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And just, like, from time to time, say, hey, Carla, there's a good question in the chat.

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So that I don't miss something important.

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Last week, I thought I had, like, copied and pasted everything so that I could go back, and y'all, it didn't work.

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It literally only, like, copied this much.

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And I got, like, I know that there were questions that I missed.

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And I know I prompt you ladies to be like, hey, if I didn't answer your question, come in the app and ask.

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And I think I had maybe two people ask.

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And I'm like, I know there were more questions.

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And so sometimes we get to teaching, and I know there's a lot of, like, comments and stuff.

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And then I ask a lot of questions, too.

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But sometimes, again, I know some of you ladies are at work, and you can't unmute.

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And so I don't want to neglect those questions.

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But when we got things going in the chat, I can sometimes miss that.

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So if I can have a volunteer, and you just let me know in the chat, Carla, I got you.

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You will have that permission to cut me off and unmute and say, hey, Carla, just dropping in and letting you know.

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We got a couple questions in the chat for you.

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Can someone dedicate time to do that?

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Do I have anybody?

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Any volunteers?

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I know we've got so many ladies at work.

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Anybody?

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Kaylee, you'll do that for me?

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Sorry.

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Yes, I can do that.

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Yes.

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Thank you.

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Thank you so much.

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So thank you, thank you, thank you.

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Okay.

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Well, let's go ahead and open up in prayer.

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And then we'll get our Girl Talk starting here as soon as that's done.

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So Heavenly Father, I just thank you so much for bringing us together again this week, Lord.

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Thank you for the work that you've already been doing in each and every single heart that's on this call and in this community, Father.

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Lord, as we spend time together today, can you please continue to teach us, show us, heal us and grow us?

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Lord, I ask that you continue to help us become the women who are confident in who you created us to be.

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Ones who trust you enough to simply just show up without feeling like we have to perform.

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Lord, give us the eyes to see what you are inviting each of us into, and that we continue

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to lean in and trust you to lead us in every opportunity that comes our way, Father.

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Lord, I ask that you lead this conversation today.

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Lord, I thank you for, again, just what you're doing in this community.

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I thank you for just the reminders that come up in the app, in the post, that women are

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opening up and sharing the vulnerable hearts, and that you allow us to see the messages

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that you so desire for us to connect with.

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So Lord, I just thank you for this time again, and we ask that you bless it in Jesus' name.

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Amen.

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Awesome.

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Okay, so let's go ahead and get started with our Celebrate Things from the Community, and

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what I've seen God doing this week.

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It's been really, really good.

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So I've noticed a lot of women are still courageously stepping into that process of

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dating, which is awesome.

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You're learning to trust God with it, right?

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We're taking on those opportunities, all right?

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We are in charge of the opportunities, right?

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But we're letting God be in control of those outcomes, and trusting God with that process.

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So I'm seeing lots of that happening.

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I'm seeing lots of thoughtful questions showing up in the app, and then even on these calls,

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it's really, really good.

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I'm seeing a lot more confidence show up instead of the fear, okay?

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You know, if you're brand new and you're watching this replay, and you're like, okay, I just

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came out of phase one.

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Phase two is where you actually apply all of the things that you've done in the heartwork

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for yourself.

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Now you get to apply it to your life, and you get to see how it actually will bless

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your relationships.

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And so you get to build that confidence.

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You don't have to show up like a fearful – like you don't have to have that guarded, fearful

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heart, right?

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Like that wall, okay?

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So I love seeing that.

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I see women are practicing the healthy pacing, right?

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That's huge, okay?

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I know there are a lot of women, like myself, when I was a single, that like to rush through

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that process of dating.

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Kaylee, yep, you're shaking your head, yep.

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Yeah, I was that.

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I was like, okay, let's go.

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I'm on a timeline, God.

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I got to go.

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I want to get married.

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I had that timeline when I was in high school.

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I'm like, I'm going to be married by the time I'm 25, and da-da-da-da, I'm going to have

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this many kids, and y'all.

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I joined this program when I was in my late 30s, and I was like, I've never been married.

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I was like, this isn't looking how I want, and so what's going on?

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So I was definitely all about like, I got to catch up, right?

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So that can sometimes naturally get us to like rush the process, and so that's why here

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in phase two, that's a big, big tool that we learned to just kind of slow that process

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down and really just allow God to kind of unfold our story, and so I'm really seeing

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a lot more of that healthy pacing, which is incredible.

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I don't think I've seen this in a really long time from a group of ladies in this phase,

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so that is something to celebrate, so I'd like definitely take that to heart, okay?

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I'm also seeing like ladies communicating their needs with grace and honesty.

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Like that's huge.

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You're stepping in.

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That's again, that comes with confidence, and so you are learning like you don't have

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to get quiet, and you can actually voice and communicate your needs of what's important

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to you, and you don't have to be offended by it.

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Like you don't have to come off defensive and offended, but you can do it in a way that's

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honest and clear and kind, and so I'm seeing.

208
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:09.000
Seeing that and just seeing, honestly, women embracing growth that they're noticing in themselves.

209
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Ladies, that is incredible.

210
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So, I just want to remind you ladies, and I want you to continue to keep celebrating,

211
00:20:16.500 --> 00:20:23.000
that this community isn't becoming someone different.

212
00:20:23.000 --> 00:20:27.000
It's becoming, like, who God's already created to be.

213
00:20:27.000 --> 00:20:31.000
Like, you already are who you are.

214
00:20:31.000 --> 00:20:37.500
You're not having to become someone different just to be loved.

215
00:20:37.500 --> 00:20:40.000
Right?

216
00:20:40.000 --> 00:20:42.000
You're already enough.

217
00:20:42.000 --> 00:20:43.000
All right?

218
00:20:43.000 --> 00:20:57.000
I was listening this morning to worship, and I was in prayer, and I was listening to...

219
00:20:57.000 --> 00:21:00.000
What is happening with some things that are popping up on my screen?

220
00:21:00.000 --> 00:21:02.500
I have no idea what's going on.

221
00:21:02.500 --> 00:21:04.000
No clue.

222
00:21:04.000 --> 00:21:07.500
All right.

223
00:21:07.500 --> 00:21:13.000
I was listening to Jaira by Elevation Worship, Maverick City.

224
00:21:13.000 --> 00:21:17.500
Is anybody not familiar with that song?

225
00:21:17.500 --> 00:21:18.000
Right?

226
00:21:18.000 --> 00:21:21.000
Is everyone pretty much familiar with that?

227
00:21:21.000 --> 00:21:30.000
So, I was listening to that this morning, and there was just some key things that were...

228
00:21:30.000 --> 00:21:35.000
That I was hearing the lyrics, and it was really...

229
00:21:35.000 --> 00:21:37.000
Some things stood out to me.

230
00:21:37.000 --> 00:21:43.000
And so, some of it was, like, I kept hearing, like, okay, like, you're...

231
00:21:43.000 --> 00:21:44.500
I'm already loved.

232
00:21:44.500 --> 00:21:46.500
I'm already chosen.

233
00:21:46.500 --> 00:21:47.500
All right?

234
00:21:47.500 --> 00:21:51.500
I know who I am, and I know what you've spoken.

235
00:21:51.500 --> 00:21:53.000
All right?

236
00:21:53.000 --> 00:21:55.000
And I'm like, wow, that's really beautiful.

237
00:21:55.000 --> 00:21:58.500
Like, I'm already chosen.

238
00:21:58.500 --> 00:21:59.000
All right?

239
00:21:59.000 --> 00:22:02.500
I don't have to perform to be something.

240
00:22:02.500 --> 00:22:04.000
All right?

241
00:22:04.000 --> 00:22:10.000
I'm not looking to perform so a husband chooses me.

242
00:22:10.000 --> 00:22:11.500
All right?

243
00:22:11.500 --> 00:22:13.000
And so...

244
00:22:13.000 --> 00:22:19.000
And then I was hearing, like, you know, it's like, Jaira, you are enough.

245
00:22:19.000 --> 00:22:24.500
And God spoke to my heart in that.

246
00:22:24.500 --> 00:22:38.000
I always heard that chorus of that song and thought to myself, like, it was what I was singing to the Lord.

247
00:22:38.000 --> 00:22:42.500
Like, God, you're enough.

248
00:22:42.500 --> 00:22:49.000
But God was like, well, I don't need to be told that I'm enough.

249
00:22:49.000 --> 00:22:57.000
He's like, I'm the one telling you, you are enough.

250
00:22:57.000 --> 00:23:00.500
Because I already chose you.

251
00:23:00.500 --> 00:23:02.000
I've created you.

252
00:23:02.000 --> 00:23:03.500
I formed you.

253
00:23:03.500 --> 00:23:08.500
I knit you together in your mother's womb.

254
00:23:08.500 --> 00:23:11.000
I know you.

255
00:23:11.000 --> 00:23:15.500
You don't have to perform to be chosen to have someone already know you.

256
00:23:15.500 --> 00:23:19.000
You are already worthy.

257
00:23:19.000 --> 00:23:23.000
And I was like, whoa.

258
00:23:23.000 --> 00:23:25.000
Y'all, like, that, like, hit me.

259
00:23:25.000 --> 00:23:28.000
Like, I don't, like, that hit me something different.

260
00:23:28.000 --> 00:23:38.000
And I was just like, that was, like, I, I want to be known.

261
00:23:38.000 --> 00:23:42.500
Is there anybody here that just truly wants to be known?

262
00:23:42.500 --> 00:23:47.500
That is really looking forward to being a wife because you're like, that will make me feel like I'm just known.

263
00:23:47.500 --> 00:23:48.500
Like, someone sees me.

264
00:23:48.500 --> 00:23:52.000
Someone chooses me.

265
00:23:52.000 --> 00:23:54.000
It's okay to admit that.

266
00:23:54.000 --> 00:23:56.500
Y'all, I'm married, and I will be honest.

267
00:23:56.500 --> 00:24:01.500
Like, that was something I looked forward to.

268
00:24:01.500 --> 00:24:03.000
I have a companion.

269
00:24:03.000 --> 00:24:09.000
I'm like, yes, absolutely.

270
00:24:09.500 --> 00:24:15.000
But you know what's something greater that God has been showing me recently?

271
00:24:15.000 --> 00:24:22.500
Is my value and my worth isn't in a husband.

272
00:24:22.500 --> 00:24:32.000
God's like, Carla, your value and your worth has nothing to do about needing to be known and seen and heard by your husband.

273
00:24:32.000 --> 00:24:33.500
Because guess what?

274
00:24:33.500 --> 00:24:37.000
There are times my husband doesn't get me.

275
00:24:37.000 --> 00:24:38.000
Doesn't know me.

276
00:24:38.000 --> 00:24:39.000
Doesn't see me.

277
00:24:39.000 --> 00:24:40.000
Doesn't understand me.

278
00:24:40.000 --> 00:24:41.000
All right?

279
00:24:41.000 --> 00:24:51.000
I can, I can be a very complicated, highly emotional, highly spiritual, like, on the next level type woman.

280
00:24:51.000 --> 00:24:52.000
Okay?

281
00:24:52.000 --> 00:24:55.000
It's who God created me to be.

282
00:24:55.000 --> 00:24:58.000
And I don't have to hide from that.

283
00:24:58.000 --> 00:25:00.000
I don't have to worry if my husband.

284
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:04.600
And it's like, babe, I don't get you.

285
00:25:04.600 --> 00:25:07.240
That's okay, because guess what?

286
00:25:07.240 --> 00:25:08.720
I'm already enough.

287
00:25:08.720 --> 00:25:09.840
God's already chosen me.

288
00:25:09.840 --> 00:25:12.200
And so I was really just sitting with that.

289
00:25:12.200 --> 00:25:13.960
And that wasn't even where I was going,

290
00:25:13.960 --> 00:25:18.960
like where I was intentionally going to land today.

291
00:25:19.360 --> 00:25:24.040
But that just really stuck out to me.

292
00:25:24.040 --> 00:25:25.840
And I wanted to share that

293
00:25:25.880 --> 00:25:30.360
because I really feel like it really does go

294
00:25:30.360 --> 00:25:34.120
with what I want to girl talk about today.

295
00:25:34.120 --> 00:25:37.620
And so I was spending lots of time this week on your post.

296
00:25:38.480 --> 00:25:40.240
And I noticed lots of questions as always.

297
00:25:40.240 --> 00:25:41.080
I love it.

298
00:25:41.080 --> 00:25:43.840
I love all the questions are always such good questions.

299
00:25:43.840 --> 00:25:48.240
And we had lots of questions about flirting.

300
00:25:49.600 --> 00:25:51.760
All right, lots of questions about flirting.

301
00:25:51.760 --> 00:25:54.120
Lots of questions about like dating profiles,

302
00:25:54.120 --> 00:25:58.960
yellow flags, about, you know, dating questions,

303
00:25:58.960 --> 00:26:02.320
like first date questions, like those conversations,

304
00:26:02.320 --> 00:26:04.960
those first date conversations, like, you know,

305
00:26:04.960 --> 00:26:06.120
what do you say?

306
00:26:06.120 --> 00:26:08.840
Okay, how do you show up with confidence?

307
00:26:10.120 --> 00:26:11.120
Questions about like, okay,

308
00:26:11.120 --> 00:26:16.120
how much Carla do I share with somebody?

309
00:26:16.280 --> 00:26:21.020
Like, how do I know when I've shared too much?

310
00:26:21.020 --> 00:26:22.800
Like, what is that surface level?

311
00:26:22.800 --> 00:26:27.400
Like, you know, I don't want to have the X factor.

312
00:26:27.400 --> 00:26:30.200
Like, I don't want to share the X factor

313
00:26:30.200 --> 00:26:31.280
and all that kind of stuff.

314
00:26:31.280 --> 00:26:32.700
I don't want to dive in too deep,

315
00:26:32.700 --> 00:26:34.160
but then they ask these questions

316
00:26:34.160 --> 00:26:35.800
and I really don't know what I'm doing.

317
00:26:35.800 --> 00:26:38.180
So lots of those kinds of questions today.

318
00:26:38.180 --> 00:26:40.460
So different women, different questions,

319
00:26:41.680 --> 00:26:43.320
different situations from all of you,

320
00:26:43.320 --> 00:26:47.600
but underneath all of it, it's always the same invitation.

321
00:26:47.600 --> 00:26:51.040
And it wasn't how, it wasn't being asked,

322
00:26:51.040 --> 00:26:53.800
how do I do something?

323
00:26:53.800 --> 00:26:56.740
Or what do I do to get someone to like me?

324
00:26:56.740 --> 00:27:01.740
It was, how do I let someone get to know the real me?

325
00:27:04.720 --> 00:27:06.120
Like, Carla, how do I flirt?

326
00:27:08.000 --> 00:27:10.440
What kind of questions do I ask?

327
00:27:10.440 --> 00:27:12.000
How do I show up?

328
00:27:12.000 --> 00:27:15.160
How do I show up as me, right?

329
00:27:15.160 --> 00:27:16.960
And so I was really like, you know what?

330
00:27:16.960 --> 00:27:20.720
I really think that's what God is inviting us to.

331
00:27:21.400 --> 00:27:25.520
And I'm like, we spend so much time on the heartwork stuff,

332
00:27:25.520 --> 00:27:30.520
but I'm like, sometimes us girls just want to know,

333
00:27:30.620 --> 00:27:35.620
Carla, like, what does this look like?

334
00:27:36.880 --> 00:27:38.920
What's this dating discovery look like?

335
00:27:39.960 --> 00:27:42.720
What am I supposed to do now that I've had the heartwork?

336
00:27:42.720 --> 00:27:45.520
Like, I have no idea what I'm doing.

337
00:27:45.520 --> 00:27:47.880
You know, we're trying to get the confidence.

338
00:27:47.880 --> 00:27:49.480
Carla, you want me to date?

339
00:27:49.480 --> 00:27:53.840
I haven't dated in so long, or every time I did date,

340
00:27:53.840 --> 00:27:57.400
and I just, I don't know if I'm doing it right.

341
00:27:57.400 --> 00:27:58.720
You know, yeah, I got some heartwork,

342
00:27:58.720 --> 00:28:00.640
but heartwork felt really comfortable.

343
00:28:00.640 --> 00:28:02.400
Now I'm, you know, now Jackie's saying

344
00:28:02.400 --> 00:28:03.960
I have to go on seven dates.

345
00:28:04.960 --> 00:28:06.960
Like, that's a lot.

346
00:28:06.960 --> 00:28:11.280
And, you know, Jackie, when I was in the program,

347
00:28:11.280 --> 00:28:14.440
she introduced that seven date challenge.

348
00:28:15.400 --> 00:28:19.760
She prompted us to get on the apps, okay?

349
00:28:21.200 --> 00:28:24.520
She even was like, hey, like,

350
00:28:24.520 --> 00:28:25.800
I want you to get on your socials,

351
00:28:25.800 --> 00:28:29.560
and I want you to let every friend and family member

352
00:28:29.560 --> 00:28:32.600
know that you're like single and ready to mingle.

353
00:28:32.600 --> 00:28:34.320
She's like, community-based matchmaking,

354
00:28:34.320 --> 00:28:36.080
like, let people hook you up.

355
00:28:36.080 --> 00:28:38.120
And I'm like, what?

356
00:28:39.320 --> 00:28:42.880
Okay, and so I was like,

357
00:28:43.880 --> 00:28:47.680
okay, like, this seems uncomfortable.

358
00:28:47.680 --> 00:28:49.760
And I really thought like the hardest part

359
00:28:49.760 --> 00:28:51.120
was gonna be like,

360
00:28:52.680 --> 00:28:54.640
kind of coming out of that hiding

361
00:28:54.640 --> 00:28:58.320
and like being vulnerable in that,

362
00:28:59.200 --> 00:29:02.800
and just being like, okay, let myself like be seen.

363
00:29:05.200 --> 00:29:06.640
But that wasn't it.

364
00:29:07.600 --> 00:29:11.160
The hardest part for me,

365
00:29:12.000 --> 00:29:14.720
and I think what many women,

366
00:29:14.720 --> 00:29:19.720
and I think many of the women here in this phase

367
00:29:19.760 --> 00:29:22.440
currently are facing is,

368
00:29:24.120 --> 00:29:28.000
the hardest part is trying to describe like who you are.

369
00:29:31.760 --> 00:29:35.520
I don't know about you all, but that dating profile.

370
00:29:37.760 --> 00:29:40.840
All right, how many of you have written that?

371
00:29:41.120 --> 00:29:43.160
Several times and erased it.

372
00:29:44.400 --> 00:29:46.760
Like, taken it to a friend.

373
00:29:46.760 --> 00:29:48.360
Hey, look at this.

374
00:29:48.360 --> 00:29:50.720
Y'all, I even was like, hey, can you write mine for me?

375
00:29:50.720 --> 00:29:55.280
All right, like, I didn't know,

376
00:29:55.280 --> 00:29:56.880
I didn't know how to present myself.

377
00:29:56.880 --> 00:29:59.760
Like, I felt like I had to perform.

378
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:05.040
And I just remember being like, I don't know how to do this.

379
00:30:05.040 --> 00:30:07.760
Like, I don't even know what to say about myself.

380
00:30:07.760 --> 00:30:11.800
I don't even know, like, when I am talking to a guy

381
00:30:11.800 --> 00:30:16.120
and they ask me, like, tell me something about yourself.

382
00:30:16.120 --> 00:30:18.880
I'm like, what do I tell them?

383
00:30:18.880 --> 00:30:21.960
Like, what do I want them to know?

384
00:30:21.960 --> 00:30:25.960
I mean, I wouldn't, y'all, I don't, not even on a date,

385
00:30:25.960 --> 00:30:29.120
but when I get in a big, like, group,

386
00:30:29.160 --> 00:30:31.960
y'all know those icebreaker questions?

387
00:30:31.960 --> 00:30:35.200
And everyone's like, tell us a fun fact about yourself.

388
00:30:35.200 --> 00:30:38.560
Y'all, I get, I, like, I cannot tell you

389
00:30:41.080 --> 00:30:43.440
when I get into, like, a classroom setting.

390
00:30:45.320 --> 00:30:47.520
And please tell me if this is you as well

391
00:30:47.520 --> 00:30:49.680
so I don't feel alone here.

392
00:30:49.680 --> 00:30:51.520
When the instructor is like,

393
00:30:52.600 --> 00:30:55.200
hey, we're gonna have an icebreaker

394
00:30:55.200 --> 00:30:58.120
and tell us, like, something interesting about yourself.

395
00:30:59.840 --> 00:31:04.680
Y'all, my heart starts, like, racing really fast.

396
00:31:05.560 --> 00:31:07.400
And then I, like, start, like,

397
00:31:07.400 --> 00:31:09.080
getting a little bit of a cold sweat.

398
00:31:09.080 --> 00:31:11.440
My palms get sweaty and I'm like,

399
00:31:12.280 --> 00:31:14.080
I start, like, breathing intensely

400
00:31:14.080 --> 00:31:15.360
and I'm like, I have no idea.

401
00:31:15.360 --> 00:31:18.560
And I'm not listening to what anyone else is saying.

402
00:31:18.560 --> 00:31:20.080
I'm sitting here thinking,

403
00:31:20.080 --> 00:31:22.120
I've gotta say something really good.

404
00:31:22.120 --> 00:31:24.200
I've gotta say something really memorable.

405
00:31:24.200 --> 00:31:26.360
I've gotta perform, like, I've gotta make sure

406
00:31:26.360 --> 00:31:30.440
that these people, like, know who I am.

407
00:31:31.440 --> 00:31:33.400
Will remember me, right?

408
00:31:36.480 --> 00:31:38.240
You go with your height, I love it.

409
00:31:40.000 --> 00:31:42.280
Yes, yes, yes, yes.

410
00:31:42.280 --> 00:31:44.520
It is hard to choose, just want, like,

411
00:31:44.520 --> 00:31:45.880
yes, yes, yes, yes.

412
00:31:45.880 --> 00:31:49.360
So, like, that was, like, the hardest thing for me.

413
00:31:49.360 --> 00:31:52.680
And I know, like, some of you are like, Carla, like,

414
00:31:52.720 --> 00:31:57.720
I don't know how describing yourself would be that hard

415
00:31:58.080 --> 00:32:01.760
because y'all know, especially you ladies

416
00:32:01.760 --> 00:32:03.520
that have, you know, been here for a minute,

417
00:32:03.520 --> 00:32:08.440
know that I have a lot of words, right?

418
00:32:09.680 --> 00:32:11.040
I talk a lot.

419
00:32:11.040 --> 00:32:13.480
I have a lot of words, all right?

420
00:32:13.480 --> 00:32:15.560
So the fact that, like, I was like,

421
00:32:15.560 --> 00:32:17.760
I don't know how to describe myself.

422
00:32:17.760 --> 00:32:22.760
So looking back on that season

423
00:32:23.280 --> 00:32:26.160
of when, you know, Jackie was prompting us

424
00:32:26.160 --> 00:32:29.560
to, you know, make the profile, share more about ourselves,

425
00:32:29.560 --> 00:32:32.680
let people know, hey, I'm coming out of hiding.

426
00:32:32.680 --> 00:32:35.840
I didn't realize that I didn't have a problem,

427
00:32:35.840 --> 00:32:38.080
like, with the dating profile.

428
00:32:38.080 --> 00:32:41.520
I didn't, like, it wasn't about forming my dating profile.

429
00:32:41.520 --> 00:32:46.520
It wasn't about, you know, having conversation with people.

430
00:32:47.400 --> 00:32:52.400
It was more of God was inviting me

431
00:32:54.120 --> 00:32:57.160
to this invitation of identity.

432
00:32:58.680 --> 00:33:00.680
It was an identity invitation.

433
00:33:01.800 --> 00:33:06.280
And so he, you know, I realized God wasn't asking me

434
00:33:06.280 --> 00:33:09.160
to create this, like, better version of myself

435
00:33:10.160 --> 00:33:11.360
that I had to perform.

436
00:33:11.360 --> 00:33:14.760
He was inviting me to just embrace

437
00:33:14.800 --> 00:33:18.640
who I already was,

438
00:33:18.640 --> 00:33:22.920
like, who he'd already been faithfully forming me to be.

439
00:33:22.920 --> 00:33:26.680
And I'm wondering, like,

440
00:33:27.720 --> 00:33:30.120
who else has felt that same tension?

441
00:33:32.080 --> 00:33:33.920
Like, have you struggled?

442
00:33:35.560 --> 00:33:39.400
Just raise your hand if you struggled

443
00:33:40.280 --> 00:33:44.680
with writing about yourself on a profile

444
00:33:44.680 --> 00:33:47.680
or even telling somebody about yourself on a date.

445
00:33:50.320 --> 00:33:53.600
Kaylee, I see Cynthia shaking her head.

446
00:33:53.600 --> 00:33:55.280
Anybody else?

447
00:33:55.280 --> 00:33:58.040
Tamara, Teresa, okay.

448
00:33:59.120 --> 00:34:01.480
I know I got some girls that I can't see on camera,

449
00:34:01.480 --> 00:34:04.120
but if you raise your avatar hand, I can see that.

450
00:34:04.120 --> 00:34:08.120
All right, yep, Lovelette, yep, Shantella, yep.

451
00:34:10.400 --> 00:34:13.320
Like, what if God is inviting us

452
00:34:14.920 --> 00:34:18.000
to discover our identity?

453
00:34:19.679 --> 00:34:24.679
And what if that invitation actually unlocks

454
00:34:25.320 --> 00:34:28.120
all of the other dating stuff?

455
00:34:29.080 --> 00:34:31.600
You'll hear Jackie frequently talk

456
00:34:31.600 --> 00:34:35.239
about behavior follows identity.

457
00:34:36.239 --> 00:34:40.040
And that is so true.

458
00:34:40.040 --> 00:34:45.040
God calls our identity before the behaviors catch up.

459
00:34:50.520 --> 00:34:53.800
And God was highlighting to me scripture

460
00:34:55.719 --> 00:34:59.480
and characters in the Bible, people in the Bible, y'all.

461
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:14.840
David. King David. Where was he when the Prophet Samuel came to his family to

462
00:35:14.840 --> 00:35:27.680
pick out and anoint the next king? Where was he? Put in the chat. Where was he?

463
00:35:30.080 --> 00:35:42.320
Where was David? Was he there? No. Y'all, he wasn't invited. He wasn't invited because

464
00:35:46.320 --> 00:35:50.720
no one saw him as that. No one saw him as a king.

465
00:35:50.720 --> 00:36:07.600
But 1st Samuel 16.7 says, people judge by outward appearances, but the Lord looks at the heart.

466
00:36:07.600 --> 00:36:19.400
This is why heart work is so incredible. But again, God forms us in our mother's womb. He's

467
00:36:19.400 --> 00:36:27.560
already created our hearts. He's already formed our hearts. And that's what he searches. He's

468
00:36:27.560 --> 00:36:36.320
not looking at our outward appearance. He's already looking at the heart. So people didn't

469
00:36:36.320 --> 00:36:42.960
see David and invite David to the party because they were like, oh, he's not king. Like no one's

470
00:36:42.960 --> 00:36:53.280
going to see him as a king. But what happened? He's like, yo, do you got another son? Because

471
00:36:54.400 --> 00:37:07.480
everybody that's here, it ain't, king ain't here. I'm not seeing it. And so David wasn't being

472
00:37:07.880 --> 00:37:16.600
asked to show up as someone to be worthy. He was already being revealed of who he already was.

473
00:37:17.240 --> 00:37:24.360
Does that make sense? Like he was already created that. So that came to my mind. And then

474
00:37:25.960 --> 00:37:34.360
Mary, mother of Jesus, when the angel came to her and said, Hey, guess what? You're going to be

475
00:37:34.360 --> 00:37:41.640
pregnant. And she's like, how is that even possible? I'm a virgin. And you know, the angels

476
00:37:41.640 --> 00:37:51.720
like sharing this stuff with her. And she says to him, says to the angel, well, may everything you

477
00:37:51.720 --> 00:38:02.840
say about me come true. The angel already spoke her identity. And she herself was like, well, I

478
00:38:02.840 --> 00:38:09.000
hope what you say is actually will come true. She didn't even see that in her. She didn't see her

479
00:38:09.000 --> 00:38:17.160
identity in herself. She had that, like, that was already who she was. She didn't see it that she's

480
00:38:17.160 --> 00:38:22.600
even saying, okay, well, I hope, I hope what you're saying, like, let's have that come true.

481
00:38:23.800 --> 00:38:32.360
Well, what she didn't realize is that was already true. Same thing with the Samaritan woman.

482
00:38:33.800 --> 00:38:43.640
The woman at the well. Jesus sat there and like, knew her. He knew everything about her.

483
00:38:45.000 --> 00:38:55.400
And she was one of the first evangelists to go share, like, y'all, this guy knew everything about me.

484
00:38:56.120 --> 00:39:05.800
Like, how incredible is that? Mary and Martha, that's a good one. Mary was abiding in Jesus

485
00:39:05.800 --> 00:39:11.160
while Martha's sitting there trying to perform. And, and, and, and Jesus is like, Martha, you don't

486
00:39:11.160 --> 00:39:19.880
have to perform. Just abide in me. You're already who I've created you to be, who I've already formed

487
00:39:20.040 --> 00:39:32.600
you to be. And so that alone, that identity who we already are, that is what allows us to have

488
00:39:32.600 --> 00:39:42.200
that intimacy, not with just people, but with him. He wants us to know, like, let's start embracing

489
00:39:43.160 --> 00:39:58.760
who you are, who I've created you to be, what your identity is. Let that shine. Let that come out.

490
00:39:58.760 --> 00:39:59.880
Let that woman

491
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:10.720
be the one that shows up. Let it shine. All right? I want to read this scripture.

492
00:40:10.720 --> 00:40:21.680
It's Matthew, is it Matthew? Yes, Matthew 5, 14 through 16. You are the light of

493
00:40:21.680 --> 00:40:28.720
the world, like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp

494
00:40:29.440 --> 00:40:36.960
and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand where it gives light to

495
00:40:36.960 --> 00:40:48.800
everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see so that

496
00:40:48.800 --> 00:40:58.960
everyone will praise your heavenly father. Shine, ladies. So, this week, one of my favorite

497
00:40:58.960 --> 00:41:09.520
questions in our app was from Dana. I don't see Dana on today. But she was asking about flirting.

498
00:41:11.360 --> 00:41:15.120
And as I was reading her question, I realized, like,

499
00:41:16.000 --> 00:41:22.320
there's a little something else that this isn't just about flirting. This is about more about

500
00:41:22.320 --> 00:41:31.760
permission. Okay? Permission to let her personality show up without feeling like she had to be

501
00:41:31.760 --> 00:41:43.200
someone or perform as someone that she wasn't. Like, she had to show up. Like, how do I flirt?

502
00:41:44.160 --> 00:41:51.520
Because she was like, it doesn't feel natural. Like, flirting just seems like, you know,

503
00:41:52.800 --> 00:41:58.320
kind of inappropriate. Like, I don't, that's not who I am. And I was like,

504
00:41:59.040 --> 00:42:12.080
you're right. Flirting isn't that, ladies. What I asked Dana this last week, I said, okay,

505
00:42:13.440 --> 00:42:18.080
I'm going to ask you a question. And she responded so beautifully. And I know she

506
00:42:18.080 --> 00:42:23.040
intentionally went back and really thought about it. I asked her, and I'm going to ask all of you

507
00:42:23.040 --> 00:42:27.680
ladies right now. Okay? And I want you to put these things in the chat. I really want you to

508
00:42:27.680 --> 00:42:35.600
think about this. What do your people, your family, your friends, the people that you,

509
00:42:35.600 --> 00:42:39.840
that just know you, that you care about, that just know who you are,

510
00:42:40.800 --> 00:42:42.640
what do they naturally love about you?

511
00:42:48.480 --> 00:42:57.040
Put it in the chat. What do your people naturally love about you?

512
00:43:01.280 --> 00:43:03.520
Tamara's fun and goofy. I love it.

513
00:43:03.920 --> 00:43:07.520
Audrey is funny. She's kind and gentle.

514
00:43:10.320 --> 00:43:16.880
All right, Peggy, I want you to say, Peggy, sit with that one. What do people love about you?

515
00:43:19.040 --> 00:43:23.360
Peggy, I've gotten to know you. We've had, we've had a one-on-one.

516
00:43:24.000 --> 00:43:32.000
Go back to that call that we had together. What are some things that I've recognized about you?

517
00:43:35.440 --> 00:43:43.200
Just sit with that for a minute. Sit with Holy Spirit and be like, Holy Spirit, what is something

518
00:43:45.680 --> 00:43:49.360
that people enjoy? What was it that Carla enjoyed about me?

519
00:43:49.760 --> 00:43:54.800
Because I know there's a lot of things I really enjoyed about you, Peggy.

520
00:43:56.080 --> 00:43:59.680
Lisa is fun and friendly and kind.

521
00:44:01.680 --> 00:44:10.320
Kaylee is funny, kind, generous, and empathetic. I agree with that. Kaylee is like, I love going

522
00:44:10.320 --> 00:44:17.440
through the chat every week and every day because I love hearing from you. I love hearing from you.

523
00:44:17.440 --> 00:44:25.920
Every week and every day because she is such an encourager. She has such an empathetic heart.

524
00:44:28.160 --> 00:44:30.800
Like, what I love about Kaylee is that,

525
00:44:32.720 --> 00:44:38.720
ladies, you can go in that chat and I will tell you, you have been seen by Kaylee.

526
00:44:39.280 --> 00:44:47.200
Like, that's something that's so beautiful. Like, that's who she is. That is who God created her to

527
00:44:47.200 --> 00:44:50.880
be. Kaylee, I'm sorry to make you cry.

528
00:44:50.880 --> 00:44:54.880
It doesn't take much, but thank you.

529
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:14.800
But it's true, Chantella has a sense of humor, kind and giving, I love that, yes, I love

530
00:45:14.800 --> 00:45:15.800
all that.

531
00:45:15.800 --> 00:45:16.800
Okay, I just love it.

532
00:45:16.800 --> 00:45:21.440
I just love all the things, so ladies, look at that, look at what we're saying, I mean,

533
00:45:21.440 --> 00:45:27.740
we could just spend the whole day just like pray, you know, just sitting there, just speaking

534
00:45:27.740 --> 00:45:37.300
into each other about like, who are we, right, it reminds me when we had the five-year anniversary

535
00:45:37.300 --> 00:45:46.160
party down in Austin last October, we had a retreat and so we just like prophetically

536
00:45:46.160 --> 00:45:52.020
were speaking over with each other and it was really like just words over each other

537
00:45:52.020 --> 00:45:59.900
and so really calling out identity and so ladies, I want you to sit with that, I want

538
00:45:59.900 --> 00:46:12.960
you to remember like those things, those are who you are, that's what you use to shine.

539
00:46:12.960 --> 00:46:20.280
You don't hide those things in a profile, you let those things shine when you're writing

540
00:46:20.280 --> 00:46:27.920
your profile, you share those things, that's how you flirt.

541
00:46:27.920 --> 00:46:34.480
So when I asked Dana that, she's like, okay, my family knows I got a sense of humor, she

542
00:46:34.480 --> 00:46:41.960
likes to joke, she also, her family loves the fact that she calls it like it is, y'all,

543
00:46:41.960 --> 00:46:47.560
I'm very much the same way too and I used to like think people did not like that about

544
00:46:47.560 --> 00:46:56.160
me, that I was harsh, like sometimes I still struggle with that, like sometimes I'll be

545
00:46:56.160 --> 00:47:00.260
you know, talking with Bethany or Ebony and you know, I'll be thinking about my coaching

546
00:47:00.260 --> 00:47:04.700
and being like, oh my gosh, like these women don't like me, they think I'm too harsh on

547
00:47:04.700 --> 00:47:10.000
them and you know, I'm just ripping band-aids off and they probably don't want to get coached

548
00:47:10.000 --> 00:47:21.680
by me, but like Ebony is always, she's like, Carla, like you are the most gentle, kind

549
00:47:21.680 --> 00:47:31.280
band-aid ripper out there and I'm like, huh, I'm like, how, I don't know, like how I'm

550
00:47:31.280 --> 00:47:37.680
supposed to do that, like I don't know how you see that, but it's true and thank you,

551
00:47:37.720 --> 00:47:45.760
Audrey, like she's like, you're gentle, those are the things that you lead with, ladies,

552
00:47:45.760 --> 00:47:54.600
don't hide those things, all right, flirting isn't pretending, flirting isn't manipulating

553
00:47:54.600 --> 00:48:00.600
someone into thinking you're someone you're not, it's not manipulating someone with like,

554
00:48:00.600 --> 00:48:06.520
oh, I've got to look and act a certain way to get someone to be attracted to me, you know,

555
00:48:06.600 --> 00:48:13.400
like I have to flaunt something, like it's not that, it's not even, it's not you even trying

556
00:48:13.400 --> 00:48:21.880
to like be someone like that's irresistible, y'all, you are already chosen because of who

557
00:48:21.880 --> 00:48:30.040
God's formed you to be, we look at the heart, God doesn't look at the outward appearance,

558
00:48:30.040 --> 00:48:37.240
he looks at the heart, what's the heart say about you, if you're someone who jokes and has

559
00:48:37.240 --> 00:48:51.480
a sense of humor, crack that joke, all right, y'all, I'm competitive and second date, my husband

560
00:48:51.480 --> 00:48:59.080
with my husband, he was like, hey, let's go grab dinner and then do you maybe want to go to this

561
00:48:59.080 --> 00:49:05.800
like arcade and play some like video games, I was like, this guy has no idea what he's getting

562
00:49:05.800 --> 00:49:11.720
into and you know what, second date, this guy better find out what he's dealing with, I know

563
00:49:11.720 --> 00:49:15.480
I've shared this story, I think I shared it just recently, it might have been last week and I was

564
00:49:15.480 --> 00:49:22.360
like, this man is gonna have to know what he signed up for, if he's gonna hang with me, he better find

565
00:49:22.360 --> 00:49:30.520
out sooner rather than later because I am really competitive, I have a son and he is a baseball kid,

566
00:49:30.520 --> 00:49:35.960
all right and for anybody that knows or have ever been to a little league baseball game

567
00:49:36.760 --> 00:49:43.960
or have friends that are baseball moms or have heard the stories on social media,

568
00:49:43.960 --> 00:49:51.240
okay, I get those like social media reels all the time because again like I know Facebook is

569
00:49:51.320 --> 00:49:55.800
listening to us, so it knows I'm always at baseball games, so it shows,

570
00:49:55.800 --> 00:49:59.800
it literally just mirrors and shows me picture like little reels of myself.

571
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:05.000
Basically, y'all, as baseball moms, don't mess with us.

572
00:50:06.800 --> 00:50:08.700
Do not mess with us.

573
00:50:08.700 --> 00:50:13.700
And so I was like, okay, if this guy is going to,

574
00:50:13.700 --> 00:50:15.880
like, he's gonna need to see the real me eventually,

575
00:50:15.880 --> 00:50:17.360
so let's just get it over with.

576
00:50:17.360 --> 00:50:22.360
And so we went to the arcade, y'all.

577
00:50:23.120 --> 00:50:26.240
I beat his butt in some of those games

578
00:50:26.240 --> 00:50:28.320
and I didn't hold back.

579
00:50:29.160 --> 00:50:31.040
I showed up.

580
00:50:31.040 --> 00:50:32.840
I had made sure he knew.

581
00:50:33.920 --> 00:50:36.900
I'm like, dude, I just beat you.

582
00:50:38.120 --> 00:50:39.520
And he's like, oh, yeah, well, I let you win.

583
00:50:39.520 --> 00:50:41.280
I'm like, no, you didn't.

584
00:50:41.280 --> 00:50:42.760
No, you didn't.

585
00:50:42.760 --> 00:50:44.280
I didn't let him off that easy.

586
00:50:44.280 --> 00:50:46.340
I was like, no, you didn't.

587
00:50:46.340 --> 00:50:48.540
I said, cause I saw you over there sweating.

588
00:50:49.580 --> 00:50:51.720
You were really trying hard.

589
00:50:51.720 --> 00:50:54.880
People that would let, like, if you were letting me win,

590
00:50:54.880 --> 00:50:56.240
you wouldn't be trying that hard

591
00:50:56.240 --> 00:50:58.720
and you wouldn't be breaking a sweat.

592
00:50:58.720 --> 00:51:01.080
So don't kid yourself.

593
00:51:01.080 --> 00:51:03.920
I'm like, if you're gonna hang with me,

594
00:51:04.920 --> 00:51:08.060
you're gonna have to earn any win that you get.

595
00:51:08.060 --> 00:51:10.600
Like, we're going, all right?

596
00:51:10.600 --> 00:51:14.720
And just so you know, if you don't play fair,

597
00:51:14.720 --> 00:51:16.280
I will throw down.

598
00:51:18.860 --> 00:51:21.520
I'm like, cause eventually you're gonna see me

599
00:51:21.520 --> 00:51:24.760
at a baseball game, at an eight-year-old's baseball game.

600
00:51:25.760 --> 00:51:29.280
And if those other players are not playing fair,

601
00:51:29.280 --> 00:51:31.180
you're gonna see this girl get rowdy.

602
00:51:33.040 --> 00:51:34.640
So if you're gonna be embarrassed

603
00:51:34.640 --> 00:51:39.360
by this little five-three chick,

604
00:51:39.360 --> 00:51:42.360
little blonde, blue-eyed, like, girl,

605
00:51:42.360 --> 00:51:46.600
screaming and yelling at some, like, six-foot umpire

606
00:51:46.600 --> 00:51:49.900
in this, like, coach, and screaming at a little kid game,

607
00:51:49.900 --> 00:51:53.560
like, then this probably ain't gonna work.

608
00:51:55.480 --> 00:52:00.480
So don't be afraid to allow the part of you

609
00:52:01.200 --> 00:52:05.280
that makes you you come out, all right?

610
00:52:05.280 --> 00:52:10.280
So flirting is really about simple opportunities

611
00:52:13.640 --> 00:52:16.660
that are there to create connection.

612
00:52:18.100 --> 00:52:19.760
That's all it is.

613
00:52:19.760 --> 00:52:21.960
How are you gonna create connection?

614
00:52:21.960 --> 00:52:25.460
How are you gonna let your personality shine?

615
00:52:28.920 --> 00:52:30.360
I love that.

616
00:52:30.360 --> 00:52:32.200
Peggy, I'm not very humble.

617
00:52:33.440 --> 00:52:35.880
I'm glad that you had a husband that was humble.

618
00:52:35.880 --> 00:52:37.000
I wasn't.

619
00:52:39.880 --> 00:52:41.340
Not humble at all.

620
00:52:42.480 --> 00:52:44.520
I've had to learn, okay?

621
00:52:44.520 --> 00:52:46.960
Cause now my son is about to be 11,

622
00:52:46.960 --> 00:52:50.440
and those younger kids, they pick up, okay?

623
00:52:50.440 --> 00:52:53.880
Like, those, like, the coaches are like, okay, parents,

624
00:52:53.880 --> 00:52:58.800
like, us coaches influence your kids,

625
00:52:58.800 --> 00:53:00.820
but you guys are actually more of an influence

626
00:53:00.820 --> 00:53:02.520
on your kids than us coaches.

627
00:53:02.520 --> 00:53:03.560
And I'm like, okay.

628
00:53:03.560 --> 00:53:07.380
So I've had to tame myself at times, okay?

629
00:53:07.380 --> 00:53:11.320
So some examples of flirting, just smile,

630
00:53:11.320 --> 00:53:14.640
make eye contact, ask some thoughtful questions,

631
00:53:14.640 --> 00:53:19.640
laugh, enjoy yourself, be curious, be present, be yourself,

632
00:53:20.240 --> 00:53:22.040
have fun.

633
00:53:22.040 --> 00:53:25.640
If you joke, joke, all right?

634
00:53:25.640 --> 00:53:27.600
If you're competitive, be competitive.

635
00:53:28.480 --> 00:53:31.860
Let that part of you shine, okay?

636
00:53:33.760 --> 00:53:36.440
Flirting doesn't have to be like this.

637
00:53:36.440 --> 00:53:39.000
I don't know how to flirt, just be yourself.

638
00:53:40.440 --> 00:53:42.840
That's it, all right?

639
00:53:44.720 --> 00:53:48.360
All right, and so the last thing I'll leave us here with

640
00:53:48.360 --> 00:53:50.360
is we're gonna have some girl talk,

641
00:53:50.360 --> 00:53:51.480
some more girl talk here,

642
00:53:51.480 --> 00:53:53.440
and I want you to be honest, all right?

643
00:53:56.520 --> 00:54:01.200
When y'all go on trips, how many of you,

644
00:54:01.200 --> 00:54:03.400
okay, and I need y'all to be honest with me.

645
00:54:04.920 --> 00:54:07.680
Is there anybody here that when you pack,

646
00:54:07.680 --> 00:54:09.320
you like pack your whole closet?

647
00:54:10.920 --> 00:54:11.760
Yeah.

648
00:54:13.400 --> 00:54:17.480
Please tell me, who packs their whole closet?

649
00:54:18.480 --> 00:54:20.480
Yes, I'm not the only one.

650
00:54:20.480 --> 00:54:21.840
So what was the question again?

651
00:54:21.840 --> 00:54:22.680
You pack what?

652
00:54:23.760 --> 00:54:25.840
How many of you pack your whole closet?

653
00:54:27.400 --> 00:54:31.960
Like you need all of the outfit options.

654
00:54:33.080 --> 00:54:36.040
You need to have every shoe selection

655
00:54:36.040 --> 00:54:39.160
because you just don't know what situation,

656
00:54:39.160 --> 00:54:44.160
what event you're gonna be asked to, right?

657
00:54:44.440 --> 00:54:46.040
You just wanna be prepared, okay?

658
00:54:46.040 --> 00:54:48.840
I'm one of those girls that just needs to be prepared.

659
00:54:48.840 --> 00:54:50.600
Is there anybody else?

660
00:54:50.600 --> 00:54:55.320
You gotta be prepared for the unexpected

661
00:54:56.920 --> 00:55:00.080
because let's be real, ladies, you never know.

662
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:08.120
Oh, when there's going to be like a blizzard in the Mexican Riviera, right?

663
00:55:08.160 --> 00:55:08.880
Am I right?

664
00:55:10.680 --> 00:55:13.120
Do you start packing far ahead?

665
00:55:13.140 --> 00:55:18.480
Cause I'm more of a last minute packer and then I'll over pack cause I'm stressing.

666
00:55:19.040 --> 00:55:20.240
I kind of do both.

667
00:55:20.360 --> 00:55:22.520
I will like be thinking about, Oh, I want to pack this.

668
00:55:22.520 --> 00:55:23.280
I don't want to pack this.

669
00:55:23.480 --> 00:55:27.680
I'll maybe go shopping for some outfits and then yeah, that last minute.

670
00:55:28.680 --> 00:55:30.840
And I'm like, I got to pack y'all.

671
00:55:30.840 --> 00:55:35.000
I'll wake up at five in the morning and I had to leave my house at six and being

672
00:55:35.000 --> 00:55:40.440
like, Oh, I'll, I'll be like, okay, I've got to, I got to pack the night before,

673
00:55:40.840 --> 00:55:44.720
but then I'm cleaning my house and I'm preparing everything and then I'm like,

674
00:55:44.720 --> 00:55:46.680
okay, I think I've got everything pretty much prepared.

675
00:55:46.680 --> 00:55:49.960
I'll just wake up, you know, maybe not even five in the morning.

676
00:55:49.960 --> 00:55:52.200
Cause I still have to get ready like three or four in the morning.

677
00:55:52.200 --> 00:55:56.560
I'll get an hour or two of sleep and then I'll be like, okay.

678
00:55:56.920 --> 00:55:58.960
And then I'm like, I'm not prepared.

679
00:55:59.360 --> 00:56:00.600
It's all coming with me.

680
00:56:02.720 --> 00:56:13.720
And then I'm like, okay, yeah, I need that parka because what if, you know, it

681
00:56:13.720 --> 00:56:18.000
starts blizzarding and it's like, I think I'm going on a tropical vacation, but

682
00:56:18.000 --> 00:56:22.840
who knows, or, you know, I'm going somewhere tropical and maybe a hurricane

683
00:56:22.840 --> 00:56:26.320
is going to happen, you know, we never know.

684
00:56:26.920 --> 00:56:30.000
I mean, it's not hurricane season, but you, you just never know.

685
00:56:30.120 --> 00:56:30.640
Okay.

686
00:56:30.880 --> 00:56:33.520
And so I got to make sure that I have everything.

687
00:56:34.360 --> 00:56:35.000
All right.

688
00:56:35.160 --> 00:56:40.200
So this is what I want to let you ladies know.

689
00:56:40.400 --> 00:56:40.960
Okay.

690
00:56:41.040 --> 00:56:46.600
So if you are like me and you pack your whole closet, I'm going to need you

691
00:56:46.600 --> 00:56:47.560
really listen in.

692
00:56:47.600 --> 00:56:47.800
Okay.

693
00:56:47.800 --> 00:56:50.080
I want you to really lean in close here.

694
00:56:50.120 --> 00:56:50.640
Okay.

695
00:56:51.440 --> 00:56:58.320
When it comes to your dates, your first dates, conversations and all the things,

696
00:56:58.400 --> 00:57:03.240
all right, and getting to know somebody, you don't leave that baggage at the gate.

697
00:57:06.600 --> 00:57:08.080
Don't leave the baggage at the gate.

698
00:57:08.360 --> 00:57:09.840
They're going to just say, you got too much.

699
00:57:09.840 --> 00:57:10.920
You don't have to leave that.

700
00:57:11.360 --> 00:57:12.320
You can't, you can't.

701
00:57:12.320 --> 00:57:12.600
Nope.

702
00:57:12.600 --> 00:57:13.240
Sorry.

703
00:57:13.680 --> 00:57:15.360
You can't bring that on the plane with you.

704
00:57:15.600 --> 00:57:16.800
You can't leave that at the gate.

705
00:57:18.040 --> 00:57:18.760
All right.

706
00:57:19.640 --> 00:57:22.640
Cause seriously, it's a hassle.

707
00:57:24.680 --> 00:57:25.880
It's a hassle.

708
00:57:28.240 --> 00:57:33.760
So, and this doesn't mean that our stories, like all the things that we, we bring,

709
00:57:33.760 --> 00:57:37.120
that we pack with us isn't important.

710
00:57:37.560 --> 00:57:46.800
I mean, it is part of our story, but ladies, those things matter, but not in the

711
00:57:46.800 --> 00:57:52.840
very beginning with people that we're just getting to know the dating for

712
00:57:52.840 --> 00:57:58.880
discovery is what's going to give us permission to let that relationship slowly

713
00:57:58.880 --> 00:57:59.600
unfold.

714
00:57:59.960 --> 00:58:00.560
Okay.

715
00:58:00.920 --> 00:58:03.280
You don't have to tell your entire life story.

716
00:58:04.400 --> 00:58:06.080
It's not needed on that first date.

717
00:58:06.600 --> 00:58:07.760
You don't have to dump it.

718
00:58:08.000 --> 00:58:08.160
Okay.

719
00:58:08.160 --> 00:58:10.680
You don't have to bring all that baggage on that plane.

720
00:58:11.280 --> 00:58:16.040
You don't have to answer every question that comes up in conversation.

721
00:58:17.760 --> 00:58:18.360
All right.

722
00:58:19.080 --> 00:58:24.880
Sometimes those questions come up because guys are just asking questions.

723
00:58:26.120 --> 00:58:28.280
You don't have to answer every question.

724
00:58:29.200 --> 00:58:35.120
You can discern what heart posture that that question's coming from.

725
00:58:36.520 --> 00:58:39.280
You can give a little information.

726
00:58:39.480 --> 00:58:46.720
You can answer it with just a little bit of honesty, or you can set a boundary and

727
00:58:46.720 --> 00:58:47.760
say, you know what?

728
00:58:47.760 --> 00:58:48.720
That's a good question.

729
00:58:48.760 --> 00:58:50.440
I'm not sure I'm ready to answer that.

730
00:58:50.680 --> 00:58:55.640
Maybe once we spend some time getting to know one another better, um, we can, we

731
00:58:55.640 --> 00:58:57.240
can dive back into that question.

732
00:58:58.840 --> 00:58:59.520
And then guess what?

733
00:58:59.520 --> 00:59:04.920
You can, you can flip, flip the role and then ask them a question.

734
00:59:05.480 --> 00:59:06.280
Redirect.

735
00:59:06.680 --> 00:59:07.240
Okay.

736
00:59:07.640 --> 00:59:10.840
You don't have to rush emotional intimacy.

737
00:59:11.160 --> 00:59:19.440
On a first date or a second date or third date or on a first phone call or on the,

738
00:59:19.480 --> 00:59:24.880
on the messaging, you don't have to rush the emotional intimacy and guess what?

739
00:59:25.320 --> 00:59:30.160
You also don't have to, to rush spiritual or physical intimacy either.

740
00:59:31.360 --> 00:59:32.760
I wouldn't advise that.

741
00:59:33.760 --> 00:59:34.240
Okay.

742
00:59:34.480 --> 00:59:38.400
So we're going to leave the baggage at the gate.

743
00:59:38.400 --> 00:59:44.520
Those lighthearted conversations, ladies, is what often is going to reveal that

744
00:59:44.520 --> 00:59:49.080
deeper character over time in a person.

745
00:59:50.080 --> 00:59:54.360
And it's that curiosity that gives us that permission to pace ourselves,

746
00:59:55.160 --> 00:59:57.000
to gather more information.

747
00:59:57.000 --> 01:00:03.240
And to be able to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to,

748
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:04.320
so that it will lead us to discern whether alignment

749
01:00:03.240 --> 01:00:08.280
to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to,

750
01:00:05.060 --> 01:00:06.880
and compatibility is actually there.

751
01:00:06.880 --> 01:00:10.100
That's what we're looking for.

752
01:00:11.880 --> 01:00:14.660
Alignment, compatibility, okay?

753
01:00:15.740 --> 01:00:16.980
Yeah, do we want them to look cute?

754
01:00:16.980 --> 01:00:17.540
Of course.

755
01:00:18.620 --> 01:00:22.480
But that's not all that there is, all right?

756
01:00:22.960 --> 01:00:26.540
We want to really, again, we don't want

757
01:00:26.540 --> 01:00:27.980
to judge the outward appearance.

758
01:00:28.360 --> 01:00:29.620
We want to search the heart.

759
01:00:30.240 --> 01:00:34.540
Because we want someone to search our heart as well.

760
01:00:35.320 --> 01:00:39.780
We want us to actually, we want someone to know us, okay?

761
01:00:39.780 --> 01:00:42.040
Now, they're not going to know us the way God knows us.

762
01:00:42.760 --> 01:00:44.560
That will never happen, okay?

763
01:00:44.560 --> 01:00:48.040
Even your husband will never know you as intimately

764
01:00:48.040 --> 01:00:54.680
and as deeply as your heavenly father knows you, okay?

765
01:00:55.280 --> 01:01:01.280
But you're going to want someone that is interested in knowing you

766
01:01:02.360 --> 01:01:08.140
in a way that the father desires, okay?

767
01:01:09.180 --> 01:01:12.520
So I want you to keep this in mind, okay?

768
01:01:12.520 --> 01:01:14.520
This is my closing thought, and then we're going

769
01:01:14.520 --> 01:01:16.340
to do the activation, and then we're going

770
01:01:16.340 --> 01:01:18.080
to take questions, okay?

771
01:01:18.080 --> 01:01:24.920
Okay, long before God ever introduces you to your husband,

772
01:01:25.480 --> 01:01:35.380
he's going to introduce you to him and yourself, okay?

773
01:01:37.780 --> 01:01:41.020
He wants to introduce you to him,

774
01:01:41.500 --> 01:01:46.600
and he wants to show you who you are, okay?

775
01:01:47.160 --> 01:01:51.080
And that's what's so awesome about heartwork and such a foundation

776
01:01:51.080 --> 01:01:55.480
is why we ask you to go through that in the first phase

777
01:01:57.040 --> 01:02:03.920
is because we want you to start going in your heart,

778
01:02:04.400 --> 01:02:09.080
scaling back some of those wounds, and healing those pieces.

779
01:02:09.840 --> 01:02:15.400
And so you've started that, now you get to enter into this phase,

780
01:02:15.400 --> 01:02:19.800
that dating for discovery phase, where you get to show up.

781
01:02:20.680 --> 01:02:24.960
Ladies, you get to, like, this is when now your behavior

782
01:02:25.520 --> 01:02:29.640
is following that identity, all right?

783
01:02:31.560 --> 01:02:35.320
That's why it's important to come to these sessions.

784
01:02:35.320 --> 01:02:36.960
It's important to ask the questions.

785
01:02:36.960 --> 01:02:39.160
It's important to get filled up.

786
01:02:39.160 --> 01:02:41.680
It's important to allow us to coach you.

787
01:02:42.120 --> 01:02:45.800
It's important to allow the women in this community to see you

788
01:02:45.800 --> 01:02:50.120
and see your post, and to come on camera, and to share in the chat.

789
01:02:51.320 --> 01:02:55.960
It's important because that's your behavior,

790
01:02:56.400 --> 01:03:00.840
and that's going to start showing you who you are.

791
01:03:02.600 --> 01:03:05.800
It's going to start reaffirming who God's created you to be.

792
01:03:07.640 --> 01:03:09.520
And again, it's just God's going to remind you,

793
01:03:09.520 --> 01:03:12.320
see, this is who you are, this is who I create you to be.

794
01:03:13.840 --> 01:03:16.600
And that's going to feel really good, OK?

795
01:03:17.840 --> 01:03:20.280
You're not someone that's going to have to earn love.

796
01:03:22.440 --> 01:03:25.480
You're going to just start beginning to believe, like,

797
01:03:26.080 --> 01:03:28.600
I have something beautiful to offer.

798
01:03:28.600 --> 01:03:30.520
That's the purpose of phase two.

799
01:03:31.720 --> 01:03:35.200
It's to step out and get comfortable getting uncomfortable

800
01:03:35.920 --> 01:03:39.320
with being who you already are created to be.

801
01:03:40.520 --> 01:03:45.000
OK, so this week's activation.

802
01:03:47.800 --> 01:03:50.240
I want you all asking, instead of asking,

803
01:03:50.240 --> 01:03:52.560
how do I get someone to like me?

804
01:03:52.560 --> 01:03:54.200
This is what I want you to do.

805
01:03:54.200 --> 01:03:58.040
I want you to ask, Lord, what would it look like

806
01:03:58.720 --> 01:04:03.120
to let the woman that you've created me to be shine a little more?

807
01:04:05.800 --> 01:04:07.480
How are you going to shine this week?

808
01:04:09.800 --> 01:04:12.320
What would the woman look like?

809
01:04:14.080 --> 01:04:15.920
That he's created you to be.

810
01:04:18.720 --> 01:04:19.240
Shine.

811
01:04:23.200 --> 01:04:24.040
You can smile.

812
01:04:25.520 --> 01:04:30.000
A lot more. You can be the first one to smile, make eye contact with those guys.

813
01:04:31.320 --> 01:04:36.400
You can make those those eye contact and you can smile, you can have the flirt smile, OK?

814
01:04:36.560 --> 01:04:38.520
You can show your gentleness and your kindness.

815
01:04:38.520 --> 01:04:41.480
Yes, Teresa, please repeat that once more.

816
01:04:42.000 --> 01:04:44.200
You can be like maybe when the first one's to smile.

817
01:04:44.520 --> 01:04:47.240
Like if you're no question, I'm at the question.

818
01:04:47.280 --> 01:04:50.200
Yes. Thank you, Lord.

819
01:04:50.240 --> 01:04:54.280
What would it look like to let the the woman that you created me

820
01:04:55.360 --> 01:04:58.080
to be shine a little more?

821
01:04:58.080 --> 01:04:59.880
How are you going to shine this week?

822
01:04:59.880 --> 01:05:01.880
How are you going to shine this week?

823
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:00.920
a little more.

824
01:05:01.880 --> 01:05:03.880
How are you going to shine this week?

825
01:05:06.240 --> 01:05:09.560
And I'll, ladies, I'll post this in the app as well.

826
01:05:09.560 --> 01:05:10.680
I'll probably post it tonight

827
01:05:10.680 --> 01:05:14.560
because I know the ladies that come on the eight o'clock,

828
01:05:15.920 --> 01:05:17.760
they haven't heard the teaching yet,

829
01:05:17.760 --> 01:05:22.760
so I don't wanna release the activation too soon.

830
01:05:23.320 --> 01:05:26.200
So I try to post it in the evening.

831
01:05:26.200 --> 01:05:27.560
I try to schedule it,

832
01:05:27.560 --> 01:05:29.000
and sometimes that doesn't always work.

833
01:05:29.000 --> 01:05:30.440
And then if that doesn't work,

834
01:05:30.440 --> 01:05:32.200
then I have to set a reminder,

835
01:05:32.200 --> 01:05:34.120
and sometimes I'm not always near

836
01:05:35.720 --> 01:05:38.480
where I'm able to log in and do that, but I do try.

837
01:05:39.760 --> 01:05:43.320
So again, you can be the one to smile first.

838
01:05:44.320 --> 01:05:45.240
Here's one.

839
01:05:45.240 --> 01:05:49.400
Ladies, some of you might feel motivated

840
01:05:49.400 --> 01:05:51.040
to finish your dating profile.

841
01:05:53.040 --> 01:05:54.620
You don't have to stare at a blank screen.

842
01:05:54.620 --> 01:05:56.500
You get to let yourself shine.

843
01:05:57.640 --> 01:05:58.980
Who are you?

844
01:05:58.980 --> 01:06:00.060
What do you like about yourself?

845
01:06:00.060 --> 01:06:01.860
What do other people like about you?

846
01:06:03.420 --> 01:06:05.900
Like, call your identity out.

847
01:06:07.580 --> 01:06:11.660
Y'all, you, I would even say, let it be a prophetic act.

848
01:06:13.780 --> 01:06:17.260
I was actually, we were prompted that this week in church.

849
01:06:17.260 --> 01:06:19.460
Like, prophetically speak.

850
01:06:21.100 --> 01:06:24.380
Like, there's nothing wrong with that.

851
01:06:26.220 --> 01:06:28.140
Like, I am this.

852
01:06:28.180 --> 01:06:29.460
I'm gonna do this.

853
01:06:30.540 --> 01:06:33.500
Speak it, all right?

854
01:06:33.500 --> 01:06:35.220
You know, start a conversation.

855
01:06:37.180 --> 01:06:39.700
Y'all, I don't, you can be in a grocery store.

856
01:06:39.700 --> 01:06:40.860
You can be at the bank.

857
01:06:40.860 --> 01:06:42.860
I don't think anybody really goes inside banks anymore.

858
01:06:42.860 --> 01:06:45.260
I typically go through the drive-thru.

859
01:06:45.260 --> 01:06:46.780
I do go to the grocery store.

860
01:06:48.300 --> 01:06:49.860
I don't like people picking out my groceries.

861
01:06:49.860 --> 01:06:52.260
I try not to do the curbside pickup.

862
01:06:53.420 --> 01:06:55.940
I don't like people picking my produce.

863
01:06:55.940 --> 01:06:57.820
I always get, like, the bruised apples,

864
01:06:58.500 --> 01:07:01.220
and then they never pick the right, like, bananas.

865
01:07:01.220 --> 01:07:02.380
I'm like, green bunch,

866
01:07:02.380 --> 01:07:04.900
because my kids don't always, like, eat them right away,

867
01:07:04.900 --> 01:07:07.220
and so I need them, I don't need them to go bad.

868
01:07:07.220 --> 01:07:10.220
So, I need to go to the grocery store myself, okay?

869
01:07:12.060 --> 01:07:14.020
And if you're someone that, you know, you're like,

870
01:07:14.020 --> 01:07:15.500
no, Carla, I really don't go out.

871
01:07:15.500 --> 01:07:17.540
I want you to say, okay, no.

872
01:07:17.540 --> 01:07:19.340
I'm gonna let myself shine this week,

873
01:07:19.340 --> 01:07:21.180
and I'm gonna get out more.

874
01:07:21.180 --> 01:07:22.020
Go on a walk.

875
01:07:22.020 --> 01:07:24.580
Go, go, just go walk the mall.

876
01:07:25.580 --> 01:07:30.300
Go walk somewhere outdoors, unless you're in Texas,

877
01:07:30.300 --> 01:07:32.380
and it's, like, 100 and some odd degrees here.

878
01:07:32.380 --> 01:07:34.900
It's stinking hot.

879
01:07:34.900 --> 01:07:37.580
Oh, my gosh, like, you step out, and you just sweat.

880
01:07:41.100 --> 01:07:43.020
Oh, I love that.

881
01:07:43.020 --> 01:07:44.580
Tamara said she's in a church group,

882
01:07:44.580 --> 01:07:46.500
and she has an assignment.

883
01:07:46.500 --> 01:07:48.340
She has to have three to five people

884
01:07:48.340 --> 01:07:50.460
write a few words to describe.

885
01:07:50.460 --> 01:07:51.740
That one's good.

886
01:07:52.740 --> 01:07:55.500
What do, and what's so cool,

887
01:07:56.500 --> 01:08:00.060
and I want you to update on what people share,

888
01:08:00.060 --> 01:08:04.860
because I wanna know if, when you pick three to five people,

889
01:08:04.860 --> 01:08:06.820
if anyone says the same thing,

890
01:08:07.980 --> 01:08:09.620
if they notice the same things.

891
01:08:11.460 --> 01:08:12.660
Like, I did that with my friends,

892
01:08:12.660 --> 01:08:15.620
and, like, my best friend, she was, you know,

893
01:08:15.620 --> 01:08:17.620
even my maid of honor at the wedding,

894
01:08:17.620 --> 01:08:20.100
and she, this is one thing she always says about me,

895
01:08:20.100 --> 01:08:23.140
and then more people that I asked,

896
01:08:23.140 --> 01:08:25.540
I recognized, like, they'd said the same thing,

897
01:08:25.540 --> 01:08:27.580
that I'm a very, very loyal person,

898
01:08:28.620 --> 01:08:31.819
that I'm a person that, a lot of times,

899
01:08:31.819 --> 01:08:35.100
people feel safe to come tell their secrets to,

900
01:08:35.100 --> 01:08:38.140
that I'm a person that has it in lock and key.

901
01:08:38.140 --> 01:08:40.340
They know, like, I'm a volt,

902
01:08:41.540 --> 01:08:43.939
that I will hold, like, I am so loyal,

903
01:08:43.939 --> 01:08:46.819
and, like, they are safe with me,

904
01:08:46.819 --> 01:08:49.620
and I was like, wow, I never, like,

905
01:08:50.140 --> 01:08:53.500
really realized that until I asked people,

906
01:08:53.500 --> 01:08:55.340
like, to describe me, and when they described me that way,

907
01:08:55.340 --> 01:08:57.540
I was like, that's kinda cool.

908
01:08:57.540 --> 01:09:01.540
Like, and then, you know, you step into that,

909
01:09:01.540 --> 01:09:04.060
like, guess what, then your behavior,

910
01:09:04.060 --> 01:09:06.380
you step into that.

911
01:09:06.380 --> 01:09:09.060
So, yeah, definitely, like,

912
01:09:09.060 --> 01:09:12.899
y'all take Tamara's church groups assignment this week.

913
01:09:12.899 --> 01:09:17.220
Go ask some people, describe me,

914
01:09:17.220 --> 01:09:19.180
give me some words that describe me.

915
01:09:20.100 --> 01:09:24.100
Go to an event, share your opinion, ask a question,

916
01:09:24.100 --> 01:09:27.660
tell a joke, ladies, crack the joke.

917
01:09:27.660 --> 01:09:30.220
If you're out on a date, crack the joke.

918
01:09:31.779 --> 01:09:32.700
Y'all, I did that.

919
01:09:32.700 --> 01:09:34.819
I can't remember what number date it was,

920
01:09:34.819 --> 01:09:37.460
but I was being introduced.

921
01:09:37.460 --> 01:09:39.260
It was my husband's work event.

922
01:09:39.260 --> 01:09:42.180
It was, like, this massive convention.

923
01:09:43.340 --> 01:09:45.140
It was early on when we were dating,

924
01:09:45.220 --> 01:09:50.220
and I met, like, his,

925
01:09:50.939 --> 01:09:53.220
I mean, I met all these people that he worked with,

926
01:09:53.220 --> 01:09:56.380
like, his boss, his, like, head of company, like, whatever,

927
01:09:56.380 --> 01:10:00.060
and they were humorous.

928
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:10.300
people just cracking jokes and stuff and his boss said something and y'all I made such

929
01:10:10.300 --> 01:10:19.780
a joke totally caught that guy off guard but I had everybody laughing and I think honestly

930
01:10:19.780 --> 01:10:26.960
my husband was dating him at the time I think honestly that might have been like a check

931
01:10:26.960 --> 01:10:37.880
in his box like that's attractive like she just told my boss what like she just like

932
01:10:37.880 --> 01:10:45.840
took a jab at him and everybody laughed and luckily his boss laughed too because after

933
01:10:45.840 --> 01:10:54.360
I said it I thought oh that could have gone sideways but you know what I didn't hold back

934
01:10:54.360 --> 01:11:01.840
I was just being myself I didn't mean it ill you know I was just showing who I was now

935
01:11:01.840 --> 01:11:08.480
if someone was offended by it I also am someone who genuinely is never trying to insult somebody

936
01:11:08.480 --> 01:11:13.720
and I am sincere about that and I am empathetic and I would own it and I'm a humble person

937
01:11:13.720 --> 01:11:19.880
that would would do right you know I would I would definitely hold myself accountable

938
01:11:19.880 --> 01:11:26.640
and so then guess what then I would let that part of me shine too so I don't have to hold

939
01:11:26.640 --> 01:11:37.720
anything back all right I get to let my heart be who I am so I want you ladies to create

940
01:11:37.720 --> 01:11:43.200
that opportunity trust God with that outcome and I want you to come and share that moment

941
01:11:43.200 --> 01:11:52.560
with us okay sound good awesome all right I'm gonna push this over a little bit because I know

942
01:11:52.560 --> 01:12:00.000
I kind of got really sidetracked today and went off on a lot of tangents because I shared some

943
01:12:00.000 --> 01:12:05.680
things that I like didn't even have prepared but I really felt led to do that so how many of you

944
01:12:05.680 --> 01:12:13.800
got questions today and then don't forget if any of you had a question last week and I didn't get

945
01:12:13.800 --> 01:12:26.640
to you I do want to make sure that I get to you first anybody I don't have any questions oh come

946
01:12:26.640 --> 01:12:38.960
on there's got to be someone that has a question Tim I love that because it reminds me of my my

947
01:12:38.960 --> 01:12:49.200
youngest when I joined the community hey kids I my youngest was five at the time and he was like

948
01:12:49.320 --> 01:13:00.160
the mascot of last year single everybody was always like hey Bo hey like everybody knew who

949
01:13:00.160 --> 01:13:05.840
my son was and he'd always be like mom can I come on and say hi to the girls and like he'd always

950
01:13:05.840 --> 01:13:14.000
like they just adored him and so even now like he'll like hear like he'll hear some of the ladies

951
01:13:14.000 --> 01:13:19.840
that are still like he'll hear Jackie's voice he's like mom can I say hi to Jackie and so I love

952
01:13:19.840 --> 01:13:29.400
it I love it and you know what like I will tell you this like ladies that have kids this isn't

953
01:13:29.400 --> 01:13:40.280
just your love story this is your kids love story too you're building legacy like my kids they get

954
01:13:40.280 --> 01:13:56.760
to absorb the healing and the healthy relationship that God redeemed and restored and so he prepares

955
01:13:56.760 --> 01:14:08.840
their hearts too and so I love it I absolutely love it oh they're visiting for oh you're the

956
01:14:08.840 --> 01:14:20.440
crazy aunt I love it oh so they are gonna have a good time in Austin I love it so you're gonna

957
01:14:20.440 --> 01:14:25.720
y'all you're gonna need to have your aunt make sure that she does her homework assignment okay

958
01:14:25.720 --> 01:14:33.880
you're gonna hold her accountable make sure that she lets her personality shine make sure she does

959
01:14:33.920 --> 01:14:45.480
all the fun things with you and just has a lot of fun all right can you do that there's a lot

960
01:14:45.480 --> 01:14:55.920
of fun things to do in Austin I've been there several times go to the park to all the fun

961
01:14:55.920 --> 01:14:59.840
things awesome okay

962
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:02.440
Yes, I do have two questions.

963
01:15:02.440 --> 01:15:03.280
I love it.

964
01:15:04.140 --> 01:15:05.360
All right.

965
01:15:05.360 --> 01:15:07.200
So I've got Teresa and Peggy.

966
01:15:07.200 --> 01:15:10.360
So we'll, it's just the two of you have the questions.

967
01:15:10.360 --> 01:15:13.120
If that's it, then we will go ahead and get started.

968
01:15:13.120 --> 01:15:18.120
And then, yes, yes, yes.

969
01:15:18.760 --> 01:15:19.600
Yeah, ladies.

970
01:15:19.600 --> 01:15:20.920
So definitely see who's all in Texas.

971
01:15:20.920 --> 01:15:24.020
So Kaylee's in San Antonio, so she's not far from you.

972
01:15:25.960 --> 01:15:27.840
She's not far at all.

973
01:15:27.840 --> 01:15:31.920
I think she was saying the kids are from Austin, right?

974
01:15:32.880 --> 01:15:34.320
Oh, wait, I don't want to interrupt you.

975
01:15:34.320 --> 01:15:36.740
Oh, they're visiting from Austin.

976
01:15:37.880 --> 01:15:39.480
Where are you at then, Tamara?

977
01:15:42.440 --> 01:15:43.280
Iowa?

978
01:15:47.520 --> 01:15:48.840
I totally read that wrong.

979
01:15:49.780 --> 01:15:52.160
Y'all, I'm getting classified.

980
01:15:52.160 --> 01:15:53.000
Iowa.

981
01:15:53.000 --> 01:15:56.080
I wish there was more like the activities

982
01:15:56.080 --> 01:15:59.280
and stuff out here, but I just talked to my sister

983
01:15:59.280 --> 01:16:01.240
and I said, well, when I'm in Austin next time,

984
01:16:01.240 --> 01:16:03.560
maybe I'll plan like to go, you know,

985
01:16:03.560 --> 01:16:07.440
plan it around a time when there's a community activity

986
01:16:07.440 --> 01:16:08.600
or something like that.

987
01:16:08.600 --> 01:16:10.480
Yeah, well, here's the thing is even

988
01:16:10.480 --> 01:16:11.880
if there's not a community activity,

989
01:16:11.880 --> 01:16:15.560
you just let us know and we'll make an activity.

990
01:16:15.560 --> 01:16:16.400
Awesome.

991
01:16:17.600 --> 01:16:20.320
Honestly, there's so many of us in Texas.

992
01:16:20.320 --> 01:16:22.600
Like, it's a good time.

993
01:16:22.600 --> 01:16:23.440
That's cool.

994
01:16:23.440 --> 01:16:26.640
I know Dallas, Dallas Fort Worth area.

995
01:16:26.640 --> 01:16:29.200
I know Ebony is in Austin

996
01:16:29.200 --> 01:16:32.280
and then we have several people in that area.

997
01:16:32.280 --> 01:16:34.920
And I know some of the Dallas ladies and the Austin ladies,

998
01:16:34.920 --> 01:16:38.040
like they'll meet in the middle and go to Waco.

999
01:16:38.040 --> 01:16:41.480
I got some ladies in Oklahoma as well.

1000
01:16:41.480 --> 01:16:44.280
So lots of fun things.

1001
01:16:44.280 --> 01:16:45.600
We're visiting Iowa.

1002
01:16:45.600 --> 01:16:47.600
She lives in Iowa.

1003
01:16:47.600 --> 01:16:48.440
That's what she said.

1004
01:16:48.440 --> 01:16:50.280
Gotcha, but you all are from Austin.

1005
01:16:50.280 --> 01:16:51.280
Yeah.

1006
01:16:51.280 --> 01:16:53.280
So you'll have to show her around.

1007
01:16:54.160 --> 01:16:55.200
Yes.

1008
01:16:55.200 --> 01:16:56.040
Yes.

1009
01:16:56.040 --> 01:16:57.320
I love it.

1010
01:16:57.320 --> 01:16:58.400
Awesome.

1011
01:16:58.400 --> 01:17:00.120
Yes, yes, yes.

1012
01:17:00.120 --> 01:17:02.560
But yeah, good times, good times.

1013
01:17:02.560 --> 01:17:04.080
Well, you're still gonna go,

1014
01:17:04.080 --> 01:17:06.440
like Iowa, this one, I feel like

1015
01:17:06.440 --> 01:17:08.560
it doesn't get super humid there, does it?

1016
01:17:09.600 --> 01:17:10.880
It does.

1017
01:17:10.880 --> 01:17:12.880
See, I'm originally from Indiana

1018
01:17:12.880 --> 01:17:16.520
and we would get humidity, but it wasn't like horrible.

1019
01:17:16.520 --> 01:17:18.200
And then I lived in Florida for 15 years

1020
01:17:18.200 --> 01:17:19.080
and that was very humid.

1021
01:17:19.080 --> 01:17:20.600
And then I moved to Texas

1022
01:17:20.600 --> 01:17:24.520
and it's even more hot and humid here in Dallas.

1023
01:17:24.520 --> 01:17:26.960
And then it gets freezing and snows and freezes here too.

1024
01:17:26.960 --> 01:17:28.080
So I'm like, what happened?

1025
01:17:28.080 --> 01:17:28.920
What did I do?

1026
01:17:30.560 --> 01:17:31.600
All right.

1027
01:17:31.600 --> 01:17:32.440
Okay.

1028
01:17:32.440 --> 01:17:36.120
Well, let's go ahead and jump to our questions.

1029
01:17:36.120 --> 01:17:38.480
I always love getting this time to catch up with you ladies

1030
01:17:38.480 --> 01:17:39.520
because this is what I like about

1031
01:17:39.520 --> 01:17:41.120
sometimes our smaller groups.

1032
01:17:41.120 --> 01:17:41.960
All right.

1033
01:17:41.960 --> 01:17:46.120
Teresa, what question do you have for us today?

1034
01:17:46.120 --> 01:17:50.040
Okay, so I got brave over the weekend.

1035
01:17:50.480 --> 01:17:52.560
Yes, I love it, I love it.

1036
01:17:52.560 --> 01:17:56.000
I've been like, I don't know how I would word it,

1037
01:17:56.000 --> 01:17:59.560
just looking at profiles, you know,

1038
01:17:59.560 --> 01:18:01.160
find them on one site.

1039
01:18:01.160 --> 01:18:03.320
And I had my eye on this one gentleman.

1040
01:18:03.320 --> 01:18:07.400
So I decided to reach out and I reached out Saturday night.

1041
01:18:07.400 --> 01:18:09.120
And last night he got back to me

1042
01:18:09.120 --> 01:18:11.560
and very kindly rejected me.

1043
01:18:12.800 --> 01:18:13.640
Okay.

1044
01:18:13.640 --> 01:18:16.960
He was really, really nice about it.

1045
01:18:16.960 --> 01:18:18.920
And there's, you know, part of me is like, okay,

1046
01:18:18.920 --> 01:18:20.480
so that's it, just let it go.

1047
01:18:20.480 --> 01:18:23.320
The other part of me kind of wants to respond,

1048
01:18:23.320 --> 01:18:24.680
not to try to change his mind,

1049
01:18:24.680 --> 01:18:28.080
but to actually thank him for how nice he was about it.

1050
01:18:28.080 --> 01:18:31.440
And it actually made me feel good,

1051
01:18:31.440 --> 01:18:36.440
the fact that I think that I was really on track

1052
01:18:36.440 --> 01:18:39.160
as far as he's a really nice guy.

1053
01:18:40.040 --> 01:18:43.080
There was another guy that reached out to me last week

1054
01:18:43.080 --> 01:18:46.600
and I went, oh, I don't know.

1055
01:18:46.640 --> 01:18:51.640
This is like, it was very creepy and I didn't do anything.

1056
01:18:51.920 --> 01:18:55.120
And then I was gonna read his stuff to my sister

1057
01:18:55.120 --> 01:18:55.960
and he was gone.

1058
01:18:55.960 --> 01:18:58.080
So somebody else, they found out

1059
01:18:58.080 --> 01:19:00.320
that the guy did not belong on the site.

1060
01:19:00.320 --> 01:19:01.160
Yeah.

1061
01:19:01.160 --> 01:19:02.920
You know, so it was kind of like, okay,

1062
01:19:02.920 --> 01:19:04.440
so I am picking up on things,

1063
01:19:04.440 --> 01:19:07.080
whereas I tend to be the type of person of just,

1064
01:19:07.080 --> 01:19:08.600
we'll be open to everybody

1065
01:19:08.600 --> 01:19:10.120
and give them the benefit of the doubt

1066
01:19:10.120 --> 01:19:13.000
and this and that, sometimes to a fault.

1067
01:19:13.920 --> 01:19:17.960
So this gentleman being as nice as he was,

1068
01:19:17.960 --> 01:19:20.280
first of all, just responding

1069
01:19:20.280 --> 01:19:22.640
instead of just not responding at all.

1070
01:19:22.640 --> 01:19:24.280
You know, I really appreciated that.

1071
01:19:24.280 --> 01:19:27.480
So what do you think about me just sending a quick note,

1072
01:19:27.480 --> 01:19:29.680
thanking him for his response?

1073
01:19:29.680 --> 01:19:31.240
I love that.

1074
01:19:31.240 --> 01:19:34.040
We've had several women that have done that in our community.

1075
01:19:34.040 --> 01:19:38.920
I know when I was in the group and stuff like that,

1076
01:19:38.920 --> 01:19:41.360
and we would share our stories

1077
01:19:41.360 --> 01:19:46.160
and our interactions with guys online

1078
01:19:46.160 --> 01:19:48.360
and things like that, we would share that.

1079
01:19:48.360 --> 01:19:50.000
Like sometimes we would ask like,

1080
01:19:50.000 --> 01:19:53.760
hey, you know, can you tell me a little bit more about,

1081
01:19:53.760 --> 01:19:55.280
you know, what was it that,

1082
01:19:55.280 --> 01:19:57.560
like even if we went on like a date with them

1083
01:19:57.560 --> 01:19:59.840
and they're like, hey, I'm gonna have to pass.

1084
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:01.320
some of the ladies would be like, you know,

1085
01:20:01.320 --> 01:20:03.920
I really appreciate you being straightforward with me.

1086
01:20:03.920 --> 01:20:06.320
Would you mind giving me some feedback

1087
01:20:06.320 --> 01:20:08.800
because I'm in this, you know,

1088
01:20:08.800 --> 01:20:10.880
I'm being mentored in a singles community

1089
01:20:10.880 --> 01:20:13.080
and I'm really trying to learn

1090
01:20:14.760 --> 01:20:17.480
like how to show, like how to show up.

1091
01:20:17.480 --> 01:20:20.160
And is there anything that I could have done, you know,

1092
01:20:20.160 --> 01:20:21.800
not, I want to say do differently

1093
01:20:21.800 --> 01:20:24.480
because again, we're not trying to perform,

1094
01:20:24.480 --> 01:20:28.320
but learning the why

1095
01:20:28.320 --> 01:20:31.240
and realizing that oftentimes

1096
01:20:31.240 --> 01:20:33.800
it has nothing to do with us.

1097
01:20:33.800 --> 01:20:34.640
Right.

1098
01:20:34.640 --> 01:20:35.840
You know?

1099
01:20:35.840 --> 01:20:36.680
Yeah.

1100
01:20:36.680 --> 01:20:38.080
And it has just everything to do with

1101
01:20:38.080 --> 01:20:40.520
maybe it's just not the right season for them

1102
01:20:40.520 --> 01:20:44.760
or it could be, you know,

1103
01:20:44.760 --> 01:20:45.760
hey, you know,

1104
01:20:45.760 --> 01:20:50.760
I know that I gonna do missions someday

1105
01:20:52.440 --> 01:20:54.400
and I want to go in ministry.

1106
01:20:54.400 --> 01:20:56.880
And that person is like,

1107
01:20:56.880 --> 01:20:58.560
I know that that's just not something

1108
01:20:58.560 --> 01:21:00.720
that I feel called to do.

1109
01:21:00.720 --> 01:21:04.040
And so I think you're, you know, an amazing person.

1110
01:21:04.040 --> 01:21:06.360
I just know that doesn't align

1111
01:21:06.360 --> 01:21:07.680
with what God's called me to do.

1112
01:21:07.680 --> 01:21:08.520
And so guess what?

1113
01:21:08.520 --> 01:21:10.240
We don't take offense to that.

1114
01:21:10.240 --> 01:21:11.080
Right.

1115
01:21:11.080 --> 01:21:13.600
So sometimes being able to share that

1116
01:21:13.600 --> 01:21:15.680
is really, really helpful.

1117
01:21:15.680 --> 01:21:16.520
Yeah.

1118
01:21:16.520 --> 01:21:18.160
I mean, since we just had the one

1119
01:21:18.160 --> 01:21:19.920
little very brief interaction,

1120
01:21:19.920 --> 01:21:22.560
I don't know that I would quite go that far with it.

1121
01:21:22.560 --> 01:21:23.400
Yeah, no.

1122
01:21:23.400 --> 01:21:25.880
But I was just, yeah, giving you an opportunity,

1123
01:21:25.880 --> 01:21:27.920
like you can just say, like, here's the thing.

1124
01:21:27.920 --> 01:21:29.360
Like you can say,

1125
01:21:29.360 --> 01:21:33.960
hey, I really wanted to let you know

1126
01:21:33.960 --> 01:21:38.960
I appreciated you being gentle and kind

1127
01:21:41.720 --> 01:21:44.920
with your decline because-

1128
01:21:44.920 --> 01:21:46.840
With your rejection of me.

1129
01:21:48.000 --> 01:21:49.160
Well, yeah.

1130
01:21:49.160 --> 01:21:53.800
But say, because it, you know,

1131
01:21:53.800 --> 01:21:56.200
and you can even share, like,

1132
01:21:56.200 --> 01:22:00.480
sometimes being the first one to kind of open up,

1133
01:22:00.480 --> 01:22:01.480
there is a fear.

1134
01:22:01.480 --> 01:22:04.760
And I recognize I didn't have to be afraid of rejection

1135
01:22:04.760 --> 01:22:06.280
because you did it so kindly.

1136
01:22:06.280 --> 01:22:08.240
I mean, honestly, God showed,

1137
01:22:08.240 --> 01:22:12.360
like you can say God showed me that nice men exist.

1138
01:22:12.360 --> 01:22:17.360
Y'all, I went on so like some dates where they weren't it,

1139
01:22:18.800 --> 01:22:22.800
but God used those dates to show me

1140
01:22:22.800 --> 01:22:25.440
that there are good men out there.

1141
01:22:25.440 --> 01:22:26.520
There are nice men.

1142
01:22:26.520 --> 01:22:28.800
I don't have to be offended.

1143
01:22:28.800 --> 01:22:32.360
God was able to utilize, like when I got rejected,

1144
01:22:32.360 --> 01:22:34.240
like it was okay.

1145
01:22:34.240 --> 01:22:35.160
I didn't have to get offended.

1146
01:22:35.160 --> 01:22:36.000
I didn't have to get hurt.

1147
01:22:36.000 --> 01:22:38.480
It didn't change my worth.

1148
01:22:38.480 --> 01:22:41.520
It didn't change my value and it changed who I was.

1149
01:22:42.680 --> 01:22:46.520
If anything, it just reinforced, like, that's okay.

1150
01:22:46.520 --> 01:22:47.680
I'm thankful.

1151
01:22:47.680 --> 01:22:49.760
I mean, I started getting thankful

1152
01:22:49.760 --> 01:22:51.480
when people would reject me.

1153
01:22:52.480 --> 01:22:54.160
I counted it as a blessing.

1154
01:22:54.160 --> 01:22:56.440
We used to call it getting holy ghosted.

1155
01:22:57.560 --> 01:23:02.560
Like, I do not want someone to just entertain the idea

1156
01:23:04.680 --> 01:23:08.760
because they don't wanna let me down and drag me along.

1157
01:23:08.760 --> 01:23:09.600
Right, definitely.

1158
01:23:09.600 --> 01:23:11.800
And then keep me from meeting my husband.

1159
01:23:11.800 --> 01:23:13.040
Don't do that.

1160
01:23:13.040 --> 01:23:13.880
Right, right.

1161
01:23:13.880 --> 01:23:14.920
I also don't wanna keep somebody else

1162
01:23:14.920 --> 01:23:16.280
from meeting their husband.

1163
01:23:17.760 --> 01:23:19.360
But I also wanna give myself an opportunity

1164
01:23:19.360 --> 01:23:20.200
to get to know somebody

1165
01:23:20.280 --> 01:23:22.640
before I decide if they're my husband, right?

1166
01:23:22.640 --> 01:23:23.720
Yeah, yeah.

1167
01:23:23.720 --> 01:23:26.840
So I really, like, I love how you're looking at that

1168
01:23:26.840 --> 01:23:28.240
as an opportunity.

1169
01:23:28.240 --> 01:23:30.640
And it even reminds me,

1170
01:23:30.640 --> 01:23:33.240
and I shared this on somebody else's post this week.

1171
01:23:34.200 --> 01:23:38.760
Jackie, early on, would share with us

1172
01:23:38.760 --> 01:23:40.080
on these dating experiences

1173
01:23:40.080 --> 01:23:42.520
as she got our feet wet with dating people.

1174
01:23:42.520 --> 01:23:45.200
And y'all remember, it took me like a year

1175
01:23:45.200 --> 01:23:46.600
of her prompting us to go on dates.

1176
01:23:46.600 --> 01:23:48.560
Like, it took me a year to go on dates.

1177
01:23:48.640 --> 01:23:50.400
She had to push me out of the nest.

1178
01:23:51.880 --> 01:23:54.800
Prompted, like, when she prompted us,

1179
01:23:54.800 --> 01:23:58.480
she was, she would often say,

1180
01:24:00.080 --> 01:24:03.000
leave someone better than you found them.

1181
01:24:05.320 --> 01:24:08.520
If you focus on leaving someone better than you found them,

1182
01:24:10.160 --> 01:24:12.720
like, you're just blessing them.

1183
01:24:14.800 --> 01:24:16.440
And you can feel good about that.

1184
01:24:17.440 --> 01:24:20.040
It has nothing to do with, you know,

1185
01:24:20.040 --> 01:24:22.120
you, it has everything to do with them.

1186
01:24:23.640 --> 01:24:24.480
All right?

1187
01:24:24.480 --> 01:24:28.560
They show up, you know, rude and hateful.

1188
01:24:28.560 --> 01:24:31.200
That doesn't, that doesn't change who you are.

1189
01:24:32.360 --> 01:24:34.520
Nor should it ever.

1190
01:24:34.520 --> 01:24:36.400
I always have to tell my kids,

1191
01:24:36.400 --> 01:24:38.520
just because someone was mean and rude to you

1192
01:24:38.520 --> 01:24:43.520
doesn't mean you have a right to show up the same way.

1193
01:24:43.520 --> 01:24:45.040
You might think they deserve it,

1194
01:24:45.040 --> 01:24:49.040
but how you respond to them says a lot more

1195
01:24:49.040 --> 01:24:51.640
about your own character than it does about them

1196
01:24:51.640 --> 01:24:52.920
and what they did to you.

1197
01:24:54.040 --> 01:24:58.160
We want to leave people better than how we found them.

1198
01:24:59.520 --> 01:25:00.360
Because.

1199
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:02.240
That says more about who we are.

1200
01:25:03.880 --> 01:25:06.320
We get to honor ourselves.

1201
01:25:06.320 --> 01:25:07.600
We get to be that honor.

1202
01:25:07.600 --> 01:25:09.500
Like we get to honor ourselves.

1203
01:25:11.820 --> 01:25:13.740
So I love that idea.

1204
01:25:13.740 --> 01:25:16.340
I love that you got brave and you got bold.

1205
01:25:16.340 --> 01:25:18.920
I love that you were taking this opportunity

1206
01:25:18.920 --> 01:25:22.220
to not look at it as a rejection,

1207
01:25:22.220 --> 01:25:26.120
like something to be like negative about,

1208
01:25:26.120 --> 01:25:30.060
but you're like, okay, there was an opportunity.

1209
01:25:30.960 --> 01:25:33.040
I didn't get to control the outcome.

1210
01:25:33.960 --> 01:25:37.340
God got to lead the outcome.

1211
01:25:37.340 --> 01:25:42.300
God now gets to reveal how he's going to lead that outcome

1212
01:25:42.300 --> 01:25:44.220
to be to my benefit.

1213
01:25:45.500 --> 01:25:49.460
What's the good that comes from this outcome?

1214
01:25:49.460 --> 01:25:51.340
Y'all remember what the enemy means for evil,

1215
01:25:51.340 --> 01:25:52.780
God will use for good.

1216
01:25:54.020 --> 01:25:54.860
All right?

1217
01:25:55.700 --> 01:25:57.540
Things will happen in our lives.

1218
01:25:57.540 --> 01:26:00.980
And there's one or two ways of looking at it.

1219
01:26:00.980 --> 01:26:05.980
We can look at it from a mindset of a kingdom mindset,

1220
01:26:06.260 --> 01:26:08.460
or we can look at it from a worldly mindset.

1221
01:26:09.700 --> 01:26:11.540
Y'all, we get that choice.

1222
01:26:11.540 --> 01:26:13.060
We get to decide that.

1223
01:26:14.660 --> 01:26:16.820
You know, Satan's not over here telling us

1224
01:26:16.820 --> 01:26:18.020
what we have to decide.

1225
01:26:18.020 --> 01:26:20.020
And God's not over here saying like,

1226
01:26:20.020 --> 01:26:22.120
I'm forcing you to make this decision.

1227
01:26:23.120 --> 01:26:25.560
God gave us that free will.

1228
01:26:25.560 --> 01:26:28.760
He gave us the gift to be able to choose.

1229
01:26:30.280 --> 01:26:33.800
So every single one of those opportunities,

1230
01:26:33.800 --> 01:26:35.280
every single one,

1231
01:26:35.280 --> 01:26:39.800
how are you going to show up and let the personality in you,

1232
01:26:39.800 --> 01:26:42.800
who you created, shine?

1233
01:26:42.800 --> 01:26:44.360
How are you going to honor that?

1234
01:26:45.320 --> 01:26:46.440
I love that.

1235
01:26:47.680 --> 01:26:49.680
And see, you're dropping hankies.

1236
01:26:49.680 --> 01:26:52.040
And eventually, y'all, it's a numbers game.

1237
01:26:53.380 --> 01:26:55.640
You see a profile, like it.

1238
01:26:55.640 --> 01:26:56.720
Drop a hanky.

1239
01:26:58.320 --> 01:27:01.760
Worst they can do is say, no, not interested.

1240
01:27:01.760 --> 01:27:02.600
Okay.

1241
01:27:03.600 --> 01:27:05.680
You don't, you never have to see him again

1242
01:27:05.680 --> 01:27:06.520
because guess what?

1243
01:27:06.520 --> 01:27:09.080
You're not even in front of them.

1244
01:27:09.080 --> 01:27:09.920
Right?

1245
01:27:11.920 --> 01:27:13.120
What's the worst that could happen?

1246
01:27:13.120 --> 01:27:13.960
They say no.

1247
01:27:14.880 --> 01:27:16.580
What's the best that could happen?

1248
01:27:17.580 --> 01:27:20.580
You can go on a date and have a really good time.

1249
01:27:20.580 --> 01:27:21.800
Enjoy conversation.

1250
01:27:23.220 --> 01:27:24.060
Okay?

1251
01:27:25.140 --> 01:27:25.980
So I love it.

1252
01:27:25.980 --> 01:27:27.740
Keep letting that shine.

1253
01:27:27.740 --> 01:27:30.660
Let us know what you decide.

1254
01:27:31.580 --> 01:27:32.420
All right.

1255
01:27:32.420 --> 01:27:36.220
But I don't see anything wrong with just, again,

1256
01:27:36.220 --> 01:27:38.040
thanking him for,

1257
01:27:39.860 --> 01:27:42.500
you know, letting him know that he blessed you.

1258
01:27:42.500 --> 01:27:43.860
I love it.

1259
01:27:43.860 --> 01:27:44.860
Okay. Thank you.

1260
01:27:44.860 --> 01:27:46.460
Yeah. And I have one quick thing.

1261
01:27:47.300 --> 01:27:49.060
If everybody could keep my daughter and love Becca in mind,

1262
01:27:49.060 --> 01:27:49.900
please.

1263
01:27:49.900 --> 01:27:52.980
They're going to induce her tonight at eight o'clock.

1264
01:27:52.980 --> 01:27:54.100
All right.

1265
01:27:54.100 --> 01:27:55.220
Yeah. This is her second

1266
01:27:55.220 --> 01:27:59.020
and her first labor and delivery were absolutely perfect.

1267
01:27:59.020 --> 01:28:02.140
So hopefully things will go smoothly this time.

1268
01:28:02.140 --> 01:28:04.020
Does she know if she had a boy or girl?

1269
01:28:04.020 --> 01:28:07.500
Another girl, another girl, Eliza.

1270
01:28:07.500 --> 01:28:09.520
Yeah. Thank you so much.

1271
01:28:09.520 --> 01:28:10.600
Absolutely.

1272
01:28:12.300 --> 01:28:14.460
We will definitely be praying for her.

1273
01:28:14.460 --> 01:28:15.580
Love it.

1274
01:28:15.580 --> 01:28:16.420
All right.

1275
01:28:16.420 --> 01:28:18.620
Peggy, you're up next.

1276
01:28:23.660 --> 01:28:24.580
Hold on.

1277
01:28:24.580 --> 01:28:25.420
Okay.

1278
01:28:25.420 --> 01:28:26.460
Hey.

1279
01:28:26.460 --> 01:28:27.740
Hello.

1280
01:28:27.740 --> 01:28:28.900
Good to see you.

1281
01:28:28.900 --> 01:28:32.640
There are so many times I have my makeup on.

1282
01:28:32.640 --> 01:28:34.380
Today I went for a walk.

1283
01:28:34.380 --> 01:28:35.820
I got sweaty.

1284
01:28:35.820 --> 01:28:37.140
I have no makeup on.

1285
01:28:37.140 --> 01:28:39.220
So this is Peggy Lynn.

1286
01:28:40.700 --> 01:28:41.780
Half the time I don't.

1287
01:28:41.780 --> 01:28:44.000
Like this is the one day that y'all caught me

1288
01:28:44.000 --> 01:28:47.240
actually having makeup on and doing my hair.

1289
01:28:47.240 --> 01:28:49.320
You look so cute today.

1290
01:28:49.320 --> 01:28:51.000
Honest, John.

1291
01:28:51.000 --> 01:28:52.920
I wanted to let you know that.

1292
01:28:52.920 --> 01:28:53.760
Thank you.

1293
01:28:53.760 --> 01:28:55.600
Very pretty.

1294
01:28:55.600 --> 01:28:58.160
I aspire to have curls like that.

1295
01:28:58.160 --> 01:29:01.200
But I try.

1296
01:29:01.200 --> 01:29:03.060
Just not today.

1297
01:29:03.060 --> 01:29:05.240
Remember, we're not looking at the outside appearances.

1298
01:29:05.240 --> 01:29:06.680
It's always about the heart.

1299
01:29:06.680 --> 01:29:09.120
I'm more, we're going to focus on the heart.

1300
01:29:09.120 --> 01:29:10.660
Okay. Very good.

1301
01:29:11.920 --> 01:29:13.240
All right.

1302
01:29:13.240 --> 01:29:17.600
Last week I threw up a question and you,

1303
01:29:17.600 --> 01:29:20.360
I just read, I was, while you were talking, Teresa,

1304
01:29:20.360 --> 01:29:24.580
I was just crying while I was reading your answer

1305
01:29:24.580 --> 01:29:26.560
to my question last week.

1306
01:29:26.560 --> 01:29:28.820
Both you and Ebony responded

1307
01:29:28.820 --> 01:29:32.560
and it just really touched my heart.

1308
01:29:32.560 --> 01:29:34.400
Just wanted you to know that.

1309
01:29:36.900 --> 01:29:39.800
So I don't really have that question anymore.

1310
01:29:39.800 --> 01:29:41.280
So I got another one.

1311
01:29:41.280 --> 01:29:43.920
I haven't been sleeping too good lately.

1312
01:29:43.920 --> 01:29:45.520
You haven't been sleeping good. Okay.

1313
01:29:45.520 --> 01:29:48.840
No, I'm 70 years old.

1314
01:29:48.840 --> 01:29:51.840
So I don't know what it is.

1315
01:29:51.840 --> 01:29:53.000
I live by myself.

1316
01:29:53.000 --> 01:29:55.840
I'm blessed to have my own home

1317
01:29:55.840 --> 01:30:00.840
and I just putter around it and just do my thing.

1318
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:11.640
what I like and I really think I might need a push out of the nest okay um I'm

1319
01:30:11.640 --> 01:30:15.360
wondering if that is part of the reason why I'm just sleeping because I have

1320
01:30:15.360 --> 01:30:19.800
been asking the Lord is there something in me is there some kind of trauma that

1321
01:30:19.800 --> 01:30:24.800
I'm just you know not able to let go of the reason why I'm not sleeping I've

1322
01:30:24.800 --> 01:30:31.280
just been lean I you know I've been forgiving people bringing people up and

1323
01:30:31.280 --> 01:30:39.120
you know forgiving and just so I don't know I don't know what it is so I'm

1324
01:30:39.120 --> 01:30:42.800
feeling like I maybe need to get another coaching call with you and maybe we

1325
01:30:42.800 --> 01:30:48.800
could just start a profile I I really okay I really couldn't remember the nice

1326
01:30:48.800 --> 01:30:56.840
things that you said about me and so I just kind of need some help sort of you

1327
01:30:56.840 --> 01:31:04.640
know pulling that together I feel like I am ready to then I remember you sharing

1328
01:31:04.640 --> 01:31:08.280
that like you kind of felt like you knew you were ready and so I think I

1329
01:31:08.280 --> 01:31:20.080
celebrated that with you in a post did you not I don't know I don't think that

1330
01:31:20.080 --> 01:31:25.240
was me I think I'm really not rushing but I feel like I knew that because we

1331
01:31:25.240 --> 01:31:29.200
yeah you were unpacking a lot of other stuff that yeah like you said you've

1332
01:31:29.200 --> 01:31:33.040
been forgiving people you've yeah you've had some stuff that you were caring and

1333
01:31:33.040 --> 01:31:37.960
so you've had some heart healing and that's been really good that's been

1334
01:31:37.960 --> 01:31:46.440
really healthy for you and that is going to accelerate the process yeah so that's

1335
01:31:46.440 --> 01:31:54.760
what I recognize and so I also have a child that has been a strange for a very

1336
01:31:54.760 --> 01:32:02.720
long time yeah um and we got together at the end of last year just right after I

1337
01:32:02.720 --> 01:32:12.680
joined LYS and it just kind of blew all my desire for you know it just really

1338
01:32:12.680 --> 01:32:17.920
changed my focus yeah God wanted you to focus on healing that and restoring that

1339
01:32:17.920 --> 01:32:22.680
like that was it there was an intentionality and a purpose and that

1340
01:32:22.680 --> 01:32:27.880
and I don't like yeah I think that was really good and so I think the dust is

1341
01:32:27.880 --> 01:32:34.360
settling I also wonder you know spend some time with the Lord on the sleeping

1342
01:32:34.360 --> 01:32:40.560
part because ladies I want you to be gentle with yourself in these healing

1343
01:32:40.560 --> 01:32:48.680
seasons okay sometimes when we're healing our body does need rest yeah it

1344
01:32:48.680 --> 01:32:58.520
does yeah all right if we've ever if we've experienced trauma or anxiety or

1345
01:32:58.520 --> 01:33:05.840
just our nervous systems are overloaded like that's that causes a lot of stress

1346
01:33:05.840 --> 01:33:18.560
on our body and the way that our body is heals is through resting and so I would

1347
01:33:18.560 --> 01:33:25.880
sit with that Peggy okay okay yeah are you saying you are not getting enough

1348
01:33:25.880 --> 01:33:33.880
sleep or you're sleeping a lot no I the last few nights I'm like awake until

1349
01:33:33.880 --> 01:33:43.200
three so what I try to do is just lie there in the dark you know and just rest

1350
01:33:43.320 --> 01:33:51.320
you know but when you see the clock you know it's 1230 you know question yeah

1351
01:33:51.320 --> 01:34:00.640
um when you are awake like that like the only reason I mean this is sometimes what happens to

1352
01:34:00.640 --> 01:34:11.120
me either God will keep me awake or I will wake up randomly in the middle of the night or wake

1353
01:34:11.120 --> 01:34:15.320
up extremely early when I don't have to get up early okay I'm like I can't get back to sleep

1354
01:34:15.320 --> 01:34:24.320
yeah um have you ever in those moments when you recognize like I can't fall asleep have you ever

1355
01:34:24.320 --> 01:34:34.800
asked God like are you are you inviting me to spend time with you no I actually don't ask him

1356
01:34:34.800 --> 01:34:43.200
that but I I like spending time with him so yeah sometimes it's just I mean I'm honestly I'll be

1357
01:34:43.200 --> 01:34:49.680
you know I'll be transparent with you ladies like God has me in a very like sabbatical season right

1358
01:34:49.680 --> 01:34:59.680
now luckily my kids are out of school so I don't have to do all the running around so

1359
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:03.280
Oh, God's really been like, you're going to be intentionally

1360
01:35:03.280 --> 01:35:04.560
spending a lot of time with me.

1361
01:35:05.680 --> 01:35:09.720
And so there will be some nights I will, I mean, there's times that I just will be

1362
01:35:09.720 --> 01:35:14.680
up to like four or five in the morning and I'm just in the word and I'm journaling.

1363
01:35:14.680 --> 01:35:18.640
Y'all, I like, I filled journal after journal and this has just been since June.

1364
01:35:18.640 --> 01:35:23.840
God told me the whole month of June, July, and August, I was supposed to

1365
01:35:23.840 --> 01:35:26.040
spend really intentional time with him.

1366
01:35:27.160 --> 01:35:28.840
And I will, I'll wake up in the middle of the night.

1367
01:35:28.840 --> 01:35:30.080
I'll wake up like this morning.

1368
01:35:30.080 --> 01:35:31.640
I was up so early in the morning.

1369
01:35:32.200 --> 01:35:34.080
I was like, okay, I guess I'm going to get my day started.

1370
01:35:34.080 --> 01:35:36.680
God, I guess I'm going to spend some quality time with you.

1371
01:35:36.680 --> 01:35:41.400
Like there was nobody up in the house and I, like, I just sat and was with him.

1372
01:35:42.760 --> 01:35:46.680
And then same thing, like there, there'll be C there'll be times in this season

1373
01:35:46.680 --> 01:35:54.760
where I can't stay awake and I just have to sleep because I've been

1374
01:35:54.800 --> 01:35:56.920
working through a lot of healing.

1375
01:35:56.920 --> 01:35:59.360
Like there's been a lot of healing and heart stuff that

1376
01:35:59.360 --> 01:36:01.240
I've had to walk myself through.

1377
01:36:02.040 --> 01:36:11.160
And so, um, I just really, um, when you were speaking, I, I just, I felt the,

1378
01:36:11.560 --> 01:36:16.680
I heard the word just gentle, like be gentle with yourself and give yourself

1379
01:36:16.680 --> 01:36:24.480
the grace, um, to be still and, and, um, not to press and stress yourself.

1380
01:36:24.840 --> 01:36:32.600
Um, but just to allow things to unfold and, and sit with those invitations.

1381
01:36:33.400 --> 01:36:38.600
And, you know, I, I do think God's inviting you now into this new season

1382
01:36:38.600 --> 01:36:43.800
that you are ready to, to dive into something new, but I want you

1383
01:36:43.800 --> 01:36:44.840
to be gentle with yourself.

1384
01:36:44.840 --> 01:36:46.040
It doesn't have to be rushed.

1385
01:36:46.560 --> 01:36:50.200
Let God just kind of invite that and unfold that.

1386
01:36:50.200 --> 01:36:54.960
And, and that was one thing, like, you know, when you said that, you know,

1387
01:36:54.960 --> 01:37:01.600
you didn't know how you would describe yourself and one thing that I really

1388
01:37:01.600 --> 01:37:15.160
enjoyed about you is your heart is so pure and intentional, you genuinely care

1389
01:37:15.160 --> 01:37:19.160
for people, there is a sincerity about you.

1390
01:37:20.920 --> 01:37:33.200
That I just really, really feel that just illuminates off of you.

1391
01:37:36.000 --> 01:37:45.280
And there is that gentleness, like you have that Holy spirit, gentleness,

1392
01:37:45.280 --> 01:37:49.360
that fruit of the spirit, that gentleness.

1393
01:37:51.480 --> 01:37:56.240
And I think, and I just, I just really believe that God wants to cultivate that

1394
01:37:56.240 --> 01:38:04.160
in you and I think that's what people are ready.

1395
01:38:04.160 --> 01:38:06.720
I think that's what people are ready to see, but I think it's

1396
01:38:06.720 --> 01:38:08.360
what you're ready to let shine.

1397
01:38:09.280 --> 01:38:09.560
Yeah.

1398
01:38:10.240 --> 01:38:15.480
People are, people need to see Peggy's gentleness, her tenderness,

1399
01:38:15.760 --> 01:38:21.320
her heart, her love, kindness.

1400
01:38:22.960 --> 01:38:25.360
There's a softness about you, Peggy.

1401
01:38:27.120 --> 01:38:28.360
It's intentional.

1402
01:38:30.560 --> 01:38:33.160
You, you, it's on purpose.

1403
01:38:33.560 --> 01:38:41.600
And so, yeah, that's what I saw in you.

1404
01:38:41.680 --> 01:38:43.520
That's what I really enjoyed.

1405
01:38:45.320 --> 01:38:47.240
And so I want you to embrace that.

1406
01:38:48.960 --> 01:38:54.440
And, um, yeah, I just want you to spend time with God, ask him, Hey, are you,

1407
01:38:54.480 --> 01:38:56.280
are you wanting me to spend a little extra time with you?

1408
01:38:56.760 --> 01:39:01.360
So are you keeping me up so late at night and you'll be surprised

1409
01:39:01.360 --> 01:39:05.200
because there'll be times I will be up all night and then, then I

1410
01:39:05.200 --> 01:39:08.680
will sleep hard the next day.

1411
01:39:10.560 --> 01:39:14.040
And I'm like, okay, that works.

1412
01:39:14.600 --> 01:39:15.240
That works.

1413
01:39:15.440 --> 01:39:17.200
God gives me the rest when I need it.

1414
01:39:18.280 --> 01:39:24.040
And then he blesses me with what he shares with me in the, in the moments

1415
01:39:24.040 --> 01:39:25.360
that I do get to spend time with him.

1416
01:39:25.360 --> 01:39:29.160
And I will just like, he will just speak things to me that I'm like, whoa.

1417
01:39:29.720 --> 01:39:36.800
Like I'm getting just new revelations of things, you know, and then

1418
01:39:36.800 --> 01:39:37.920
sharing it with other people.

1419
01:39:37.920 --> 01:39:39.320
Like I, that's one thing I get to love.

1420
01:39:39.320 --> 01:39:43.760
I mean, that's why I love being able to, to be with you ladies.

1421
01:39:43.760 --> 01:39:51.440
Like it, it humbles me to get, to pour into y'all and, and give

1422
01:39:51.440 --> 01:39:54.800
back what was, what was, what blessed me.

1423
01:39:55.320 --> 01:39:59.040
Um, like, I don't, I don't want to keep this for myself.

1424
01:39:59.040 --> 01:40:00.320
I really do believe it.

1425
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:01.600
it's a gift to be given.

1426
01:40:01.600 --> 01:40:02.640
And so,

1427
01:40:05.280 --> 01:40:10.280
that's, I think that's something God wants to show you too.

1428
01:40:11.480 --> 01:40:13.200
Yeah. Okay.

1429
01:40:13.200 --> 01:40:15.160
Okay. I bought a swimsuit.

1430
01:40:16.680 --> 01:40:19.760
Last night I was, I couldn't resist.

1431
01:40:19.760 --> 01:40:21.960
I got my iPad out and I bought a swimsuit.

1432
01:40:22.960 --> 01:40:24.440
It's summer.

1433
01:40:24.440 --> 01:40:26.000
Yeah, it's summer time.

1434
01:40:26.000 --> 01:40:27.480
Like let it shine.

1435
01:40:27.480 --> 01:40:28.760
You're gonna be out in the sunshine,

1436
01:40:28.760 --> 01:40:30.360
letting it shine, letting your kindness,

1437
01:40:30.360 --> 01:40:32.640
your gentleness, all of it shine.

1438
01:40:32.640 --> 01:40:33.480
Yeah.

1439
01:40:33.480 --> 01:40:34.400
I love it.

1440
01:40:34.400 --> 01:40:36.160
I love it.

1441
01:40:36.160 --> 01:40:37.640
Thank you so much, Carla.

1442
01:40:37.640 --> 01:40:39.000
You are welcome.

1443
01:40:39.000 --> 01:40:43.320
You are, what you intend to share with others

1444
01:40:43.320 --> 01:40:44.760
is really blessing.

1445
01:40:44.760 --> 01:40:46.240
It's blessing me.

1446
01:40:46.240 --> 01:40:48.720
And I know it's blessing others.

1447
01:40:48.720 --> 01:40:50.120
Well, I'm thankful for that.

1448
01:40:50.120 --> 01:40:51.560
I appreciate that.

1449
01:40:52.520 --> 01:40:53.360
You're welcome.

1450
01:40:53.360 --> 01:40:54.200
Thank you so much.

1451
01:40:55.800 --> 01:40:58.040
Kaylee, I see your hand up.

1452
01:40:59.520 --> 01:41:01.320
Okay, my turn.

1453
01:41:01.320 --> 01:41:02.720
I have a few different questions.

1454
01:41:02.720 --> 01:41:05.680
The first one is that seven date challenge.

1455
01:41:05.680 --> 01:41:07.880
Does that mean seven different people

1456
01:41:07.880 --> 01:41:09.840
to go on a first date with?

1457
01:41:09.840 --> 01:41:12.800
Or like you go on the same, what does that mean?

1458
01:41:12.800 --> 01:41:14.920
It's an actual date.

1459
01:41:14.920 --> 01:41:18.840
So, I mean, you could have three dates with one guy

1460
01:41:18.840 --> 01:41:23.360
and then, you know, a fourth date with a different guy

1461
01:41:23.360 --> 01:41:27.280
and then a first date with a third guy

1462
01:41:27.280 --> 01:41:30.120
and then maybe he passed the test

1463
01:41:30.120 --> 01:41:31.480
and you give him a second date.

1464
01:41:31.480 --> 01:41:33.040
Like it's however.

1465
01:41:33.040 --> 01:41:38.040
And then if you match with somebody that's long distance,

1466
01:41:39.720 --> 01:41:41.960
because this is what sometimes I had to do

1467
01:41:41.960 --> 01:41:46.480
is I counted video chats as dates

1468
01:41:46.480 --> 01:41:49.680
because sometimes if you're long distance,

1469
01:41:49.680 --> 01:41:51.880
like getting on a physical date was not always easy.

1470
01:41:51.880 --> 01:41:53.600
Plus I was a single mom.

1471
01:41:53.600 --> 01:41:56.480
And so sometimes like video dates

1472
01:41:56.480 --> 01:41:59.680
just had to happen naturally first.

1473
01:42:00.840 --> 01:42:03.320
And so we count video dates as well,

1474
01:42:03.320 --> 01:42:06.200
like a 30 to 40 minute video chat,

1475
01:42:06.200 --> 01:42:07.360
because you're getting to know somebody,

1476
01:42:07.360 --> 01:42:08.760
you're seeing face to face.

1477
01:42:09.880 --> 01:42:14.880
We want like, what's important is there is,

1478
01:42:16.040 --> 01:42:19.120
you're not just hearing someone's words

1479
01:42:19.120 --> 01:42:22.080
or you're not tech, like you're not reading someone's words

1480
01:42:22.080 --> 01:42:24.560
because here's the thing, when we're messaging,

1481
01:42:24.560 --> 01:42:29.560
like we can draft our words, okay?

1482
01:42:30.160 --> 01:42:31.720
Like when I'm responding to you ladies,

1483
01:42:31.720 --> 01:42:33.840
like I'm reading over my responses

1484
01:42:33.840 --> 01:42:35.720
and being like, oh no, I need it.

1485
01:42:35.720 --> 01:42:37.120
Like, and I'm, you know,

1486
01:42:37.120 --> 01:42:40.560
sometimes it'll take me a while to respond

1487
01:42:40.560 --> 01:42:45.240
and that will happen too when you're meeting somebody.

1488
01:42:45.240 --> 01:42:48.120
So when you are face to face with somebody,

1489
01:42:48.120 --> 01:42:50.920
whether it's on video or in person,

1490
01:42:50.920 --> 01:42:54.120
you are getting their body language, their tone,

1491
01:42:54.120 --> 01:42:56.640
their facial expressions.

1492
01:42:57.680 --> 01:42:58.960
You're asking a question

1493
01:42:58.960 --> 01:43:03.960
and they are having to respond in real time.

1494
01:43:04.560 --> 01:43:06.560
They can't go edit their response.

1495
01:43:07.520 --> 01:43:11.280
And so that's why we say video or in person.

1496
01:43:12.120 --> 01:43:15.000
And you don't have to like get all your seven dates

1497
01:43:15.000 --> 01:43:19.000
completed before you shift over to phase three either.

1498
01:43:19.400 --> 01:43:21.480
I know some people get confused with that.

1499
01:43:21.480 --> 01:43:24.960
They're like, Carla, I've been in phase two for a year

1500
01:43:24.960 --> 01:43:26.760
because I've only had six dates.

1501
01:43:26.760 --> 01:43:31.560
And I'm like, girl, if you ready, you ready, it's fine.

1502
01:43:31.560 --> 01:43:33.520
Or Carla, I've only had two dates

1503
01:43:33.520 --> 01:43:35.520
and you know, I can't go to phase three.

1504
01:43:35.520 --> 01:43:36.680
I'm like, no, you're not,

1505
01:43:36.680 --> 01:43:38.480
you're allowed to go over to phase three

1506
01:43:38.480 --> 01:43:41.040
when you've worked through the content,

1507
01:43:41.040 --> 01:43:41.880
you've opened up,

1508
01:43:41.880 --> 01:43:45.720
you feel like you've gotten some practice under your belt

1509
01:43:45.720 --> 01:43:47.160
of like how you show up,

1510
01:43:47.160 --> 01:43:48.840
how you're using these hard work tools

1511
01:43:49.680 --> 01:43:51.720
in real life and then you get to shift over.

1512
01:43:51.720 --> 01:43:55.040
You know, we just ask at least minimum five to six weeks

1513
01:43:55.040 --> 01:43:57.360
and make sure that you're showing up,

1514
01:43:57.360 --> 01:44:00.520
you're engaging, you're watching the content

1515
01:44:00.520 --> 01:44:01.840
and so on and so forth.

1516
01:44:01.840 --> 01:44:03.480
And I know some ladies think

1517
01:44:04.680 --> 01:44:06.360
they have to be in a level three relationship

1518
01:44:06.360 --> 01:44:07.200
to get to phase three.

1519
01:44:07.200 --> 01:44:09.120
And that's false too.

1520
01:44:10.760 --> 01:44:12.400
You don't have to be an exclusive relationship

1521
01:44:12.400 --> 01:44:14.520
to be in phase three, okay?

1522
01:44:15.520 --> 01:44:16.800
So that's the other thing.

1523
01:44:16.800 --> 01:44:20.760
So I've been on a few dates with Jesse

1524
01:44:20.760 --> 01:44:23.000
that I think I posted about.

1525
01:44:23.000 --> 01:44:23.840
Yeah.

1526
01:44:23.840 --> 01:44:26.080
And I don't know how I feel about it.

1527
01:44:26.080 --> 01:44:28.160
Well, I wanted to write things out

1528
01:44:28.160 --> 01:44:29.880
so I could describe better,

1529
01:44:29.880 --> 01:44:31.960
but then I forgot and didn't do that.

1530
01:44:31.960 --> 01:44:32.800
But-

1531
01:44:32.800 --> 01:44:33.840
Okay, tell me about them.

1532
01:44:35.600 --> 01:44:38.080
You've been on, how many dates have you been on?

1533
01:44:38.080 --> 01:44:39.560
Well, and that's the other thing,

1534
01:44:39.560 --> 01:44:42.320
like if you just go to hang out with somebody,

1535
01:44:42.320 --> 01:44:44.360
like do you count that as a date?

1536
01:44:45.040 --> 01:44:45.880
Yeah.

1537
01:44:45.880 --> 01:44:47.320
Or is it a date if, okay.

1538
01:44:47.320 --> 01:44:50.040
I feel like I haven't dated in a while

1539
01:44:50.040 --> 01:44:51.520
and so I don't know-

1540
01:44:51.520 --> 01:44:53.600
Yeah, if you're spending time with somebody

1541
01:44:53.600 --> 01:44:55.680
and it's like time with them

1542
01:44:55.680 --> 01:44:57.000
and you're getting to know them,

1543
01:44:57.000 --> 01:44:59.320
like that to me counts as a date.

1544
01:44:59.320 --> 01:45:00.160
Okay.

1545
01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:05.720
Yeah, because I feel like, um, I guess we've had, we've met four

1546
01:45:05.740 --> 01:45:11.280
times, maybe five, four or five. Um, but like a few of the times

1547
01:45:11.280 --> 01:45:15.220
I do feel like the past few weeks, I've had kind of a lot

1548
01:45:15.220 --> 01:45:20.800
going on in my personal life. And then I feel like I maybe

1549
01:45:20.800 --> 01:45:25.880
could have, like, canceled, I don't know, or I just wasn't

1550
01:45:26.200 --> 01:45:31.160
like in a good mood or something to where I feel like I didn't

1551
01:45:31.160 --> 01:45:37.720
get to show up like how I wanted to and like, a positive way. And

1552
01:45:37.840 --> 01:45:43.520
I think, I guess I'm just trying to navigate like, how to, like,

1553
01:45:43.540 --> 01:45:49.180
do the not do the people pleasing thing. And yeah, how to

1554
01:45:49.180 --> 01:45:56.660
have good boundaries. And like, I like, I think I like him, but

1555
01:45:56.660 --> 01:46:02.020
I'm not. I don't know. I'm not really sure. And what else? Um,

1556
01:46:02.660 --> 01:46:08.300
I don't know. I just feel like, I wonder too, if, if I should

1557
01:46:08.300 --> 01:46:11.980
even be dating right now, because I feel like unsteady in

1558
01:46:11.980 --> 01:46:18.340
my life with, like working through my health, and like, I'm

1559
01:46:19.620 --> 01:46:23.980
needing to find a new job. And I have all these different

1560
01:46:23.980 --> 01:46:28.300
projects I want to do. But I still want to be open to dating.

1561
01:46:28.540 --> 01:46:34.700
But with this guy, I don't know, I kind of feel like he he wants

1562
01:46:34.700 --> 01:46:38.380
to call me when he gets off work. But I don't always answer

1563
01:46:38.380 --> 01:46:41.060
his call. I feel like he's treating it like we're already

1564
01:46:41.060 --> 01:46:44.180
boyfriend, girlfriend. I don't really like that. I'm like, if

1565
01:46:44.180 --> 01:46:49.300
it's like two feels like too much too soon. But also also, I

1566
01:46:49.300 --> 01:46:55.300
don't know. Like, do I have to tell him that? Like, if I want

1567
01:46:55.300 --> 01:46:58.540
to go on dates with other people? Do you you don't tell

1568
01:46:58.540 --> 01:46:59.900
that to that person? Right?

1569
01:46:59.940 --> 01:47:03.420
So here's, okay, this is what I'm gonna I'm gonna ask you a

1570
01:47:03.420 --> 01:47:07.540
couple questions. When you are out hanging out with him. Do you

1571
01:47:07.540 --> 01:47:08.380
enjoy yourself?

1572
01:47:09.100 --> 01:47:15.740
Mm. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, that's good. All right. That's an easy

1573
01:47:15.740 --> 01:47:18.300
yes. Like, you're going out, you're having fun, you're

1574
01:47:18.300 --> 01:47:21.100
getting to know someone. Do you have to rush the process?

1575
01:47:24.500 --> 01:47:26.820
I want to but I shouldn't.

1576
01:47:26.860 --> 01:47:32.700
So let's ask ourselves what what thoughts or emotions or feelings

1577
01:47:32.700 --> 01:47:37.540
like what's surfacing? What what are you? What is leading you to

1578
01:47:37.700 --> 01:47:41.500
is leading you to feel like you want to rush the process? What

1579
01:47:41.540 --> 01:47:43.260
about the process? Do you want to rush?

1580
01:47:48.580 --> 01:47:54.580
I think sometimes maybe I can just or what do I want to rush?

1581
01:47:55.220 --> 01:47:56.820
Actually, I'm not sure. Um,

1582
01:47:57.420 --> 01:48:00.260
and that's okay. I like you don't have to have the answers

1583
01:48:00.260 --> 01:48:03.340
to all these questions right away. It just I want you to sit

1584
01:48:03.380 --> 01:48:08.060
like it's okay to sit with the I'm not sure yet. It's okay to

1585
01:48:08.060 --> 01:48:11.580
not be sure yet. It's okay, while you're still trying to

1586
01:48:11.580 --> 01:48:13.740
figure this out. Um,

1587
01:48:15.380 --> 01:48:23.700
one thing that I heard, so I'm gonna ask this to, um, you say

1588
01:48:23.700 --> 01:48:27.180
you got lots going on. There's times that you want to cancel.

1589
01:48:27.860 --> 01:48:32.660
You're not feeling like you're in a good mood. Um, and I heard

1590
01:48:32.660 --> 01:48:39.620
you say I don't want to show up. How like I don't want to show

1591
01:48:39.620 --> 01:48:44.220
up in a way that I don't want to show up. Okay, now I want to

1592
01:48:44.220 --> 01:48:50.780
stop for a minute. Let's talk about what we shared today. Is

1593
01:48:50.780 --> 01:48:56.340
it okay for you to have bad days? Are you allowed permission

1594
01:48:56.340 --> 01:49:07.700
to have bad days? Absolutely. Okay. Are you ever in any

1595
01:49:07.700 --> 01:49:11.940
relationship going to show up and have to be on and perfect

1596
01:49:11.940 --> 01:49:16.660
and like, be cheerful and in a great mood all the time?

1597
01:49:17.620 --> 01:49:28.620
No, no. Okay. You get to show up as you are. So you get to

1598
01:49:28.620 --> 01:49:31.020
decide and I think someone else had the same question, which

1599
01:49:31.020 --> 01:49:34.660
was really, really glad that you're bringing this up. So, you

1600
01:49:34.660 --> 01:49:38.820
know, it lets me know that you're, you are not the only one

1601
01:49:38.860 --> 01:49:41.420
walking through situations like this other women in this

1602
01:49:41.420 --> 01:49:44.780
community. So someone else posted something like this,

1603
01:49:45.220 --> 01:49:47.980
you're sharing about this, and I'm sure someone else is

1604
01:49:47.980 --> 01:49:51.940
probably experiencing or more than one person is also

1605
01:49:51.940 --> 01:49:59.380
sharing, you know, experiencing this, this. I'm not sure. I want

1606
01:49:59.380 --> 01:49:59.940
to go on a day.

1607
01:50:00.000 --> 01:50:02.500
I don't feel like going, so what do I do?

1608
01:50:02.500 --> 01:50:06.500
I feel like I'm supposed to go, but I also don't wanna go

1609
01:50:06.500 --> 01:50:08.880
because I don't wanna give a bad impression.

1610
01:50:10.200 --> 01:50:15.200
And what I shared with her was,

1611
01:50:15.240 --> 01:50:16.640
you get to decide.

1612
01:50:17.760 --> 01:50:21.600
Let's sit with that and really spend time with,

1613
01:50:21.600 --> 01:50:26.600
okay, what's the real reason that I don't wanna go?

1614
01:50:27.600 --> 01:50:32.600
What's holding me back from either saying,

1615
01:50:33.560 --> 01:50:38.080
hey, I think she's like recovering from an injury.

1616
01:50:38.080 --> 01:50:40.640
She got had a foot injury and she's like,

1617
01:50:40.640 --> 01:50:42.800
I'm just not feeling, like I said,

1618
01:50:42.800 --> 01:50:46.640
you're allowed to say, hey, I'm not feeling well.

1619
01:50:46.640 --> 01:50:48.940
I'm dealing with this injury.

1620
01:50:48.940 --> 01:50:51.920
Would it be okay if we postponed?

1621
01:50:52.920 --> 01:50:57.000
Or I said, is it okay that you communicate,

1622
01:50:57.000 --> 01:51:00.040
hey, I don't wanna cancel our date,

1623
01:51:00.040 --> 01:51:04.320
but I wanna let you know that I'm going through an injury,

1624
01:51:04.320 --> 01:51:07.080
so I'm not feeling the greatest.

1625
01:51:07.080 --> 01:51:10.380
So I hope it's okay that I might not show up

1626
01:51:10.380 --> 01:51:11.960
in the most cheerful mood.

1627
01:51:13.660 --> 01:51:14.500
Oh, I see.

1628
01:51:14.500 --> 01:51:16.000
And then guess what gets to happen?

1629
01:51:16.000 --> 01:51:18.600
You get to now observe their response.

1630
01:51:20.120 --> 01:51:20.960
Okay.

1631
01:51:20.960 --> 01:51:23.480
So you get to discern, like, how do they show up?

1632
01:51:25.040 --> 01:51:27.100
That's gonna reveal more information

1633
01:51:27.100 --> 01:51:28.080
because now you're saying like,

1634
01:51:28.080 --> 01:51:31.400
I don't know how I feel about this person.

1635
01:51:32.400 --> 01:51:33.240
Okay.

1636
01:51:34.160 --> 01:51:38.680
So let's sit with and challenge ourself

1637
01:51:38.680 --> 01:51:40.080
and create some opportunities

1638
01:51:40.080 --> 01:51:42.400
where we get to learn a little bit more

1639
01:51:42.400 --> 01:51:44.600
about who they are, how they show up.

1640
01:51:44.600 --> 01:51:46.800
We're gonna learn more about ourselves.

1641
01:51:46.800 --> 01:51:50.200
What's keeping me from not wanting to show up

1642
01:51:50.200 --> 01:51:53.060
or feeling like I have to show up a certain way?

1643
01:51:54.000 --> 01:51:56.280
This is all the discovering process.

1644
01:51:58.060 --> 01:51:58.900
All right.

1645
01:51:58.900 --> 01:51:59.720
And it's okay if you're like,

1646
01:51:59.720 --> 01:52:02.160
I've got a lot on my plate right now.

1647
01:52:02.160 --> 01:52:04.100
I need to put a pause.

1648
01:52:04.100 --> 01:52:05.960
You get to decide that.

1649
01:52:05.960 --> 01:52:08.420
You might need to just put a pause for two weeks.

1650
01:52:09.680 --> 01:52:10.520
And that's fine.

1651
01:52:10.520 --> 01:52:12.240
Just say, hey, you know,

1652
01:52:12.240 --> 01:52:14.680
he's messaging you every day after work

1653
01:52:14.680 --> 01:52:18.760
and just say, hey, I really am enjoying getting to know you.

1654
01:52:19.160 --> 01:52:20.600
When we go and have, you know,

1655
01:52:20.600 --> 01:52:22.360
when we get together,

1656
01:52:22.360 --> 01:52:23.560
it is a breath of fresh air

1657
01:52:23.560 --> 01:52:25.520
for me to spend some time with you.

1658
01:52:25.520 --> 01:52:27.280
I do have a lot going on in my life.

1659
01:52:27.280 --> 01:52:31.120
So I'm gonna have to scale back for a couple of weeks.

1660
01:52:32.560 --> 01:52:37.560
Would it be okay if we took a few days off of connecting?

1661
01:52:39.880 --> 01:52:41.200
You get, I mean, again,

1662
01:52:41.200 --> 01:52:44.440
you get to pray about what that boundary looks like.

1663
01:52:44.440 --> 01:52:45.640
That's just an example.

1664
01:52:45.640 --> 01:52:46.480
Me sharing that,

1665
01:52:46.680 --> 01:52:49.760
like you don't have to create that boundary that I shared.

1666
01:52:49.760 --> 01:52:52.040
I'm just giving an example.

1667
01:52:52.040 --> 01:52:55.680
You get to decide what works for you.

1668
01:52:56.920 --> 01:52:58.560
Okay, that makes sense.

1669
01:52:58.560 --> 01:53:00.600
And then, you know, ladies,

1670
01:53:00.600 --> 01:53:02.400
sometimes a pause is,

1671
01:53:02.400 --> 01:53:04.960
God just maybe wants us to pause for a week or two

1672
01:53:06.100 --> 01:53:08.960
and wants us to focus on something else.

1673
01:53:08.960 --> 01:53:12.840
Maybe he's like, no, I'm gonna stretch you in this season.

1674
01:53:12.840 --> 01:53:16.000
I'm gonna have you sit and like really prioritize,

1675
01:53:16.520 --> 01:53:17.920
like what is it that you're focusing on?

1676
01:53:17.920 --> 01:53:21.040
Where are you spending your time and attention?

1677
01:53:21.040 --> 01:53:23.200
Like whatever that looks like,

1678
01:53:23.200 --> 01:53:24.600
it's that intentionality.

1679
01:53:24.600 --> 01:53:27.000
It's that, I want you to, you know,

1680
01:53:27.000 --> 01:53:29.560
it's about getting curious.

1681
01:53:29.560 --> 01:53:32.760
We talked about that curiosity the last couple of weeks.

1682
01:53:33.960 --> 01:53:37.000
Get curious, not just get curious with other people,

1683
01:53:37.000 --> 01:53:38.360
but get curious with yourself.

1684
01:53:38.360 --> 01:53:39.880
Get curious with God.

1685
01:53:39.880 --> 01:53:42.800
God, what is it that you're trying to show me?

1686
01:53:42.800 --> 01:53:45.440
Ask good questions.

1687
01:53:47.000 --> 01:53:51.760
Like, God, what's going on inside of me?

1688
01:53:51.760 --> 01:53:54.680
I'm not sure how I feel about this person.

1689
01:53:54.680 --> 01:53:57.080
I'm not sure why I feel like I have to perform

1690
01:53:57.080 --> 01:54:00.040
and I don't wanna go on this date

1691
01:54:01.200 --> 01:54:02.100
because I don't, like,

1692
01:54:02.100 --> 01:54:03.840
I feel like I have to be someone I'm not.

1693
01:54:03.840 --> 01:54:07.960
Is that because like there's something about them

1694
01:54:07.960 --> 01:54:09.640
that makes me feel like I have to perform

1695
01:54:09.640 --> 01:54:11.360
for them specifically?

1696
01:54:11.360 --> 01:54:14.280
Or is it something that I'm putting on myself?

1697
01:54:14.280 --> 01:54:15.600
Where's that come from?

1698
01:54:16.320 --> 01:54:17.880
Do you see how now we're getting curious

1699
01:54:17.880 --> 01:54:19.880
and we're asking more questions?

1700
01:54:21.720 --> 01:54:23.640
We sit and get quiet with it.

1701
01:54:25.920 --> 01:54:28.160
And that's good.

1702
01:54:29.840 --> 01:54:32.840
Okay, thank you for that, helpful.

1703
01:54:32.840 --> 01:54:34.480
I had one other question.

1704
01:54:35.360 --> 01:54:37.760
I said we would go over, so, cause that's on me.

1705
01:54:40.000 --> 01:54:43.080
With online dating and talking to people,

1706
01:54:43.080 --> 01:54:47.760
sometimes I feel that I enjoy the conversation.

1707
01:54:47.760 --> 01:54:50.960
And then, for example, like I told one guy

1708
01:54:50.960 --> 01:54:53.160
that I like talking with him

1709
01:54:53.160 --> 01:54:55.360
and I would love to meet up in person.

1710
01:54:55.360 --> 01:54:56.200
Yeah.

1711
01:54:56.200 --> 01:54:58.240
And I guess I just didn't know,

1712
01:54:58.240 --> 01:55:00.200
was wondering how do you.

1713
01:55:00.000 --> 01:55:06.600
you, is that a good way to initiate without like asking him on a date or?

1714
01:55:06.800 --> 01:55:08.040
That's a drop in the hanky.

1715
01:55:08.680 --> 01:55:09.560
Like, I don't know.

1716
01:55:09.560 --> 01:55:12.760
I just get impatient of, I don't know.

1717
01:55:13.240 --> 01:55:14.240
I love that.

1718
01:55:14.280 --> 01:55:17.440
Like, cause we coach you and we encourage you ladies.

1719
01:55:18.400 --> 01:55:22.360
We don't want you sitting there having a pen pal for a week, more than a week.

1720
01:55:23.360 --> 01:55:26.360
We're not sitting there trying to have like, y'all are dating because

1721
01:55:26.360 --> 01:55:27.600
you want to date in real life.

1722
01:55:28.240 --> 01:55:28.840
Right?

1723
01:55:29.680 --> 01:55:33.160
We're not trying to have a pen pal, a little cyber buddy,

1724
01:55:33.280 --> 01:55:35.120
a little cyber chat buddy.

1725
01:55:36.440 --> 01:55:36.960
Right.

1726
01:55:37.160 --> 01:55:40.640
We're not trying to do that for three, four, five, six weeks.

1727
01:55:41.160 --> 01:55:43.640
I mean, no thanks.

1728
01:55:43.680 --> 01:55:44.600
Can't marry.

1729
01:55:45.200 --> 01:55:48.160
I mean, I know some people nowadays, I mean, that's a whole nother story.

1730
01:55:48.160 --> 01:55:50.920
Like, or getting married to AI and all sorts of stuff.

1731
01:55:50.920 --> 01:55:58.000
That's wonky to me, but we won't go there, but you're not like, we don't

1732
01:55:58.000 --> 01:55:59.280
encourage you ladies to do that.

1733
01:55:59.320 --> 01:56:04.360
We want you to shift over to those in-person dates, get to know them in real life.

1734
01:56:05.280 --> 01:56:05.680
All right.

1735
01:56:05.680 --> 01:56:07.960
So that's to me, just dropping the hanky.

1736
01:56:08.360 --> 01:56:13.160
Hey, I'm really like, you want to have a couple exchanges on an app or

1737
01:56:13.160 --> 01:56:14.960
through a text message or whatever.

1738
01:56:16.320 --> 01:56:22.000
You want a few exchanges, some, you know, high value surface level questions,

1739
01:56:22.200 --> 01:56:23.720
like get to know you sort of thing.

1740
01:56:23.720 --> 01:56:26.840
Some icebreakers, you know, those icebreakers that I shared in the

1741
01:56:26.840 --> 01:56:32.240
beginning that I'm like, put me in a panic sometimes, you want to

1742
01:56:32.240 --> 01:56:33.920
have a few of those exchanges.

1743
01:56:34.360 --> 01:56:37.000
Like, can this person carry a conversation?

1744
01:56:37.000 --> 01:56:39.840
Do I, am I curious to know more about them?

1745
01:56:40.320 --> 01:56:45.960
If the answer is yes, then it's like, Hey, I'm enjoying the conversation

1746
01:56:45.960 --> 01:56:48.000
and I'd like to get to know you better.

1747
01:56:48.640 --> 01:56:57.920
Why don't we set up a time to meet for coffee or, you know, if they're far away,

1748
01:56:57.960 --> 01:57:02.160
maybe we can jump on a video chat and have coffee that way.

1749
01:57:02.520 --> 01:57:08.760
Or, you know, if you have something that you both are interested in, like if you

1750
01:57:08.760 --> 01:57:12.760
both like me, maybe you both like gaming and you want to go to the arcade.

1751
01:57:12.840 --> 01:57:14.480
Hey, let's go to this arcade.

1752
01:57:14.480 --> 01:57:16.120
There's this like new place opening up.

1753
01:57:16.680 --> 01:57:19.360
Maybe you like nature and you both like hiking.

1754
01:57:19.360 --> 01:57:20.800
Just go to a public place.

1755
01:57:20.840 --> 01:57:21.200
Okay.

1756
01:57:21.200 --> 01:57:23.200
Ladies, don't, don't go somewhere private.

1757
01:57:23.720 --> 01:57:24.240
All right.

1758
01:57:24.680 --> 01:57:27.800
You can drop those hankies and let them know.

1759
01:57:28.840 --> 01:57:34.240
Um, or yeah, I just see, like Tim said, the Ohio, the Iowa state fair, state fairs.

1760
01:57:34.800 --> 01:57:38.120
That's going to be coming up y'all I'm originally from Indiana and in

1761
01:57:38.120 --> 01:57:44.520
September they have, Indiana has a good state fair, got corn, corn, grilled corn.

1762
01:57:44.520 --> 01:57:45.760
The cop missed that.

1763
01:57:47.560 --> 01:57:53.160
Um, so yeah, you can drop that hanky and then see if they pick that hanky up.

1764
01:57:55.040 --> 01:57:59.120
And if they don't and you've had to drop it once and then they're not picking it

1765
01:57:59.120 --> 01:58:01.200
up, you might want to try it one more time.

1766
01:58:01.200 --> 01:58:06.240
And if they ain't picking it up, Hey, thanks so much for, um, the, the couple

1767
01:58:06.240 --> 01:58:10.320
exchanges, I really appreciate, you know, the time getting to know you.

1768
01:58:10.600 --> 01:58:13.080
I'm looking to date in real life.

1769
01:58:13.640 --> 01:58:17.880
Um, I'm not sure if that seems, it doesn't seem like we're going in that direction.

1770
01:58:17.880 --> 01:58:19.280
So I want to wish you the best of luck.

1771
01:58:21.640 --> 01:58:28.120
You don't want to invest more time in something where that person isn't

1772
01:58:28.120 --> 01:58:30.960
initiating and reciprocating that same effort.

1773
01:58:32.920 --> 01:58:33.360
Okay.

1774
01:58:33.520 --> 01:58:34.200
That makes sense.

1775
01:58:34.200 --> 01:58:34.560
Okay.

1776
01:58:34.760 --> 01:58:35.200
Thank you.

1777
01:58:35.680 --> 01:58:36.400
You're welcome.

1778
01:58:37.040 --> 01:58:37.760
All right, ladies.

1779
01:58:37.800 --> 01:58:42.680
Um, I'm going to go ahead and pray for us and then we will, uh, we'll

1780
01:58:42.720 --> 01:58:44.200
finish up, sound good.

1781
01:58:45.240 --> 01:58:45.560
All right.

1782
01:58:45.560 --> 01:58:50.240
And then I'll post the activation and I'll, I'll post, um, my coaching notes

1783
01:58:50.240 --> 01:58:53.080
later, and then there'll be the replay as well.

1784
01:58:53.080 --> 01:58:58.680
So heavenly father, I just thank you for reminding us today that we don't have to

1785
01:58:58.680 --> 01:59:03.520
perform Lord, we get to just show up and let ourselves shine.

1786
01:59:04.360 --> 01:59:07.320
You created us, you formed us.

1787
01:59:09.360 --> 01:59:12.640
And so, Lord, I just, I thank you for that reminder.

1788
01:59:13.680 --> 01:59:20.960
I thank you for the intentionality and for your faithfulness and shaping us

1789
01:59:21.480 --> 01:59:28.240
through every season, especially through the heartwork, Lord, Lord, I just ask that

1790
01:59:28.240 --> 01:59:35.720
you help each one of these ladies walk into this week with confidence, with joy,

1791
01:59:36.000 --> 01:59:48.280
with humility, with grace, and with trust that you've already given everything that

1792
01:59:48.280 --> 01:59:57.600
we need to show up as the women that you've created us to be, Lord, continue

1793
01:59:57.680 --> 01:59:58.760
to teach us.

1794
02:00:00.000 --> 02:00:09.240
show us heal us and grow us continue to help opening doors where we get to

1795
02:00:09.240 --> 02:00:16.820
create opportunities while trusting you with every single outcome we ask this in

1796
02:00:16.820 --> 02:00:24.240
Jesus mighty name amen all right ladies have a great Tuesday

1797
02:00:24.240 --> 02:00:27.480
we'll see you next week