WEBVTT

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Hey, it's July 20th, Men's Heart Check-In, and we got a bunch of amazing men on.

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We're going to chat about a myriad of things.

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So anybody, Kevin, it's good to have you on.

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How you been doing?

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Like, you got any breakthroughs, anything that, any, I mean, you're working, so that's

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a breakthrough, right?

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What's going on?

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Okay.

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Anybody else have something to share?

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Anything that they want to get into?

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Can you guys hear me?

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All right, cool, thank you, Jesus, because if I have a problem, all right, cool, it's

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just quiet, bro.

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Mr. Henshaw, how are you?

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How are you?

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How are you feeling?

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I know you've had some rough things happen, so how are you doing?

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I'm doing better, but definitely a lot of breakthroughs, a lot of warfare this month,

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so yeah.

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Yeah.

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You know, recovering still from any injuries from the accident, so.

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I mean, if the accident really kind of wiped you out, huh?

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Yeah, I mean, I'm scheduled to see the chiropractor three times a week until things get better

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or worse.

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Yeah.

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Depending on how it goes, you know.

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Lord Jesus, I just ask that you would heal David's body, his skeletal and everything

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that comes with it, just complete body, everything from the accident and any other previous where

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we just ask for divine healing and restoration, and that he can walk into everything he's

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called to be, and he can get to Tennessee and be introduced to his future bride, in

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Jesus' name, amen.

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All right.

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Thanks, Mike.

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You're welcome.

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So, hey guys, sweet, we've got Kevin, I've got Christopher on his way to work, I'm assuming.

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How are you doing, buddy?

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You know, we're alive, we're relatively healthy, we're on time, can't complain, I guess.

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Sweet.

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Oh, man, I don't know if I can hold back my, I have a crazy testimony, guys.

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I was in Reading this weekend, and I'm getting anointing oil in the bookstore, and this gal

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says something that resonated in my spirit, like, well, she says something that jarred

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my spirit.

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And I'm sitting there and I'm like, she's like, my brother is transgender.

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And the Lord's like, no, your brother was transgender.

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And I was like, hey, you know, I don't mean to interrupt, but like, can we just say that

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your brother was transgender?

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And she's like, you're right.

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You're so right.

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And I'm like, cool.

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So I walk out.

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No big deal.

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Not anything.

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Oh, no, she walks out.

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I get the anointing oil that I was getting, which I was going to get earlier, but I decided

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to wait for that moment.

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So then I'm walking out in the parking lot and I feel these eyes that are watching me.

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And so there was this Jeep Rubicon that was completely tinted.

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And it's pulling up to me and I'm like, well, this could be interesting.

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And so then it opens the door and it's the couple of gals that were in the bookstore.

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And they're like, you know, thank you.

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And so then I started prophesying again, not like, you know, just like her brother, the

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Lord just put on my heart.

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And I was like, hey, have a blessed trip.

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See you guys later.

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So they leave and I'm driving down the hill at Bethel and they are coming back up the

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hill and waving like rapidly.

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And I'm like, oh my gosh, what happened?

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And they hit something.

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You know, I was thinking there was some sort of emergency.

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So I stopped and the gal who I was prophesying over, her friend's like, hey, are you single?

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I'm like, yeah.

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Like, do you want to be married?

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Yeah.

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What's your number?

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And so I gave her my number.

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She's like, are you interested?

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And I'm like, eh, because I'm talking to a 20 year old and I'm like, so I was like, interested

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to do it.

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And then I was like, oh, yeah.

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So I'm now in a relationship with a gal who just flew to Virginia and we're, I'm courting

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her.

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So we're going to see how it goes.

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So you guys, my friend, like it can happen in an instant.

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Oh, and by the way, like my list of everything I wanted in a spouse, she fits it.

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It's crazy.

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Like, I wanted somebody to do inner healing with and she's like, so do you do inner healing?

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And I'm like, shut up.

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And so and I said something and she's like, shut up.

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So you guys, I just want to encourage you, like, it's been bleak for a while.

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But all of a sudden, it's like, I told her, I was like, if I fly to Virginia to meet you,

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I'm going to come propose.

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And she's like, okay.

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Right?

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Which is nuts.

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But, uh, well, because when I congratulations, brother, so when I, when I, um, when I, you

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know, I always told is like, if I see God in it, and he, his hand is definitely in this,

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it's like, you know, I'm going to, I'm just going to move.

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And I told her, you're free to, you're free to do whatever you want to do.

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I'm like, but I'm going to pursue you in this way.

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Are you all right?

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So I was pretty upfront and probably, yeah, she lives in Virginia.

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I was like, Lord, could you, could you kept her around?

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Oh, so my number one thing I was looking for was a worshiper.

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There was a, it was a worship conference and that's why she was there.

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Right?

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And so, um, and, uh, oh, and so, and so, yeah, it's just, you guys, it can happen, it can

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happen in a minute.

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And I'm just testifying to that.

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I literally just got off a two hour video call with her.

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So Lord, I just ask that you bring suddenlies to all these guys here, help them to be ready

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for it, help them to walk in it, help them to, um, like help me, Lord, to, um, encourage

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them and to equip them to be the best man and husbands and, um, just, and to see, uh,

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and Lord, we just ask for your grace, um, and your intersection on every one of these

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lives and everybody who will listen to this in Jesus name.

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All right.

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So that's my crazy testimony.

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Um, uh, you guys, I was still kind of trying to figure it out, but like, um, I, I, I tried

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to, uh, I asked all the questions that I shouldn't have asked, you know, I was like, Hey, can

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you, can you relocate?

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Actually, I need to ask that question.

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Um, and none of them, like, she's like, let's go.

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And I'm like, this is crazy.

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She's like, yeah, I know.

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But God's in it.

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When God's in it, when God is for, Jackie says, like, there's two types of fast relationships.

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There's the, the, um, the chemistry kind where it's a train wreck and then there's a God

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ordained one.

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So, um, so yeah, anybody, uh, got anything they want to discuss, chat about any, anybody

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got some wins?

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Um, Mar, I see there's a Mario, Mario, do I know you?

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Are you, are you new?

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Um, uh, yes, I'm new.

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Okay, cool.

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I was like, I'm like, I'm pretty sure, but like, I don't want to assume, right.

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So, uh, where are you, where are you located at Houston?

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Okay, cool.

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And so how'd you hear about, um, last year single, uh, recommended by a friend of mine,

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maybe a couple of years ago, I joined, but I was not a following or doing any work on

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till I attended these book club, uh, during the summer.

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Uh, okay.

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Yeah.

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That's when I, when I got more, uh, information on how to connect and you know, what to do

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and so on.

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Awesome.

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Well, welcome.

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Cool.

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And Houston.

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And so, uh, see, well, um, yeah, so we kinda, so have you started the heart work?

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Yes.

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Um, lesson three, I think.

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Okay, cool.

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So, um, we can, we can discuss that or like, um, like we, if you ever have any questions,

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we, I like the whole point of this call is to help people with heart work or what, uh,

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navigate the things that are challenging in the relationships.

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Right.

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So, um, cool.

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Well, welcome.

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Hey, Joe.

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Mr. Jesse, I see your face.

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You're looking pretty good, bro.

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Like, you know, I, he's got the beard.

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You see, Jesse, Jesse's got that fricking amazing beard going on.

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I can't do that, bro.

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Hey, good to see you, Mike.

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Thank you for the compliment.

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You're looking good as well.

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Yeah.

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So, uh, everything good in your head?

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What's that?

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Everything good with you?

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Anything exciting and new?

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Um, yeah.

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I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm,

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So, um, last week I was on as well.

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Um, it hadn't been on much before that.

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Recently I had, I talked to a girl on Friday night that I met a week prior.

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We talked for five and a half hours.

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Wow.

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I've never done that that long before.

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And then, yeah, and then we actually FaceTimed at like three and a half hours in.

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I'm like, we should FaceTime sometime.

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And she's like, and somehow we decided to go ahead and do that.

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But it was like two in the morning at that point.

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And like, anyhow, I feel bad because like.

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She looked pretty rough, like not like her pictures, but she usually wears glasses and

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she wasn't wearing glasses.

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I'm sure the angle was terrible and the lighting was terrible and everything, but I'm trying

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not to think into that too much.

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Yeah.

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Anyhow.

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Dude.

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Yeah.

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But you connected, right?

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Yeah.

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She's a great girl.

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Yeah.

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She's fun.

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Yeah.

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She's been through some stuff, some self-inflicted wounds, but she does love the Lord and she's

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from a good family, but yeah.

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Awesome.

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Mm-hmm.

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Oh, yeah.

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And you know, it's funny because I wasn't checking this, the gal that I was talking

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to.

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I didn't even check her out because I wasn't paying attention, right?

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Like it wasn't my intent, like I thought she was in her 20s, right?

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You know, and she ended up being 40.

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So today on the call, I was stressed because I'm like, oh, well, I sure hope this, like

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Lord, you're in it.

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And I'm like, oh, cool.

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She's, you know, she works.

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But yeah.

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But like it's really hard when people's pictures and their profiles don't up, don't, don't

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drive.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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And we were talking about a lot of like, we were asking, we were talking about everything

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and even had asked her, I'm like, your pictures are so great.

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Like are they doctored at all?

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She's like, no.

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I mean, I wear makeup.

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And then anyhow, I don't know.

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I don't know.

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It was just like, is that the same girl?

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I was like, is that the same girl is what I thought.

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The difference between makeup and not makeup nowadays can be staggering.

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Yeah.

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Like, like I mean, my mom always said, like, you know, ever since I was little, don't marry

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somebody until you see them without their makeup, right?

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And like, and I, and I've actually heard of people getting divorced for that.

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Like you know, they only dated and they never like, she never took her makeup off.

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Then they got married and it was real and she didn't have it on.

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And they're like, who are you?

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Like, you know, and I, you know, I only married the best you and it was, it was, was heartbreaking.

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But yeah.

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Yeah.

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So it feels kind of like I'm wrestling with it because it feels like so stark, petty for

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me.

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Like, I'm like, am I being petty?

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But it was just like, like surprising.

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Like, I can't imagine she didn't notice my, like a reaction from me when we were FaceTiming.

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Yeah.

244
00:12:31.440 --> 00:12:32.440
I was trying not to like react.

245
00:12:32.440 --> 00:12:37.480
Well, I mean, but it's legit, but it's legit, dude.

246
00:12:37.480 --> 00:12:41.640
I had, I mean, several of the dates I had, they like, dude, they weren't even close.

247
00:12:41.640 --> 00:12:45.280
I was like, what was that when you were like freaking like 10 years ago, right?

248
00:12:45.280 --> 00:12:46.280
You know?

249
00:12:46.280 --> 00:12:52.960
And like, and so at least, you know, but like I say, I actually had a date with a gal a

250
00:12:52.960 --> 00:12:55.040
week before this.

251
00:12:55.040 --> 00:12:59.240
And when I met her, she was all dolled up.

252
00:12:59.240 --> 00:13:04.600
And I mean, like was breathtaking, like, like, like she's, I got tilted and I don't get tilted.

253
00:13:04.600 --> 00:13:05.600
Right.

254
00:13:05.600 --> 00:13:06.600
You know?

255
00:13:06.600 --> 00:13:07.760
And so then she's like, hey, come have dinner with me.

256
00:13:07.760 --> 00:13:14.680
And so we went and I had dinner with her and she didn't have makeup on and I'm like, oh,

257
00:13:14.680 --> 00:13:15.680
okay.

258
00:13:16.080 --> 00:13:21.120
And, and it, I mean, she still looked stunning, but it just was different.

259
00:13:21.120 --> 00:13:22.960
It just, it just wasn't the same thing.

260
00:13:22.960 --> 00:13:23.960
Right.

261
00:13:23.960 --> 00:13:29.320
And so, so, so the, the, there wasn't a continuity in my brain's like, which one is she, you

262
00:13:29.320 --> 00:13:30.320
know?

263
00:13:30.320 --> 00:13:31.320
Right.

264
00:13:31.320 --> 00:13:35.680
And so anybody else, anybody else has anybody else dealt with that?

265
00:13:35.680 --> 00:13:36.680
And I have a quick question.

266
00:13:36.680 --> 00:13:37.680
I have a quick question.

267
00:13:37.680 --> 00:13:38.680
Yeah.

268
00:13:38.680 --> 00:13:43.800
Do phones these days have built in filters or different programs?

269
00:13:43.800 --> 00:13:51.960
Like we tried FaceTiming and it went automatically for some reason it went to WhatsApp for whatever

270
00:13:51.960 --> 00:13:52.960
reason.

271
00:13:52.960 --> 00:13:53.960
I think we both have Apple, I guess.

272
00:13:53.960 --> 00:13:55.720
Otherwise we wouldn't have been able to FaceTime, I guess.

273
00:13:55.720 --> 00:14:04.240
But it went to WhatsApp and for some reason, and I just was thinking like, do phones like

274
00:14:04.240 --> 00:14:07.120
have built in filters these days or no?

275
00:14:07.120 --> 00:14:08.120
Yeah.

276
00:14:08.120 --> 00:14:10.120
I know they do.

277
00:14:10.120 --> 00:14:11.120
Huh?

278
00:14:11.120 --> 00:14:12.120
Yeah, they do.

279
00:14:12.120 --> 00:14:13.120
They can.

280
00:14:13.440 --> 00:14:17.440
On the, on the spot, they can fix your, make you look prettier.

281
00:14:17.440 --> 00:14:18.440
Oh, really?

282
00:14:18.440 --> 00:14:19.440
Yeah.

283
00:14:19.440 --> 00:14:20.440
Oh man, I'm using one right now.

284
00:14:20.440 --> 00:14:21.440
When I take a picture.

285
00:14:21.440 --> 00:14:22.440
Simultaneously.

286
00:14:22.440 --> 00:14:29.520
When I take a picture, it wants to know if I want AI assistant for touch up on my Apple.

287
00:14:29.520 --> 00:14:32.000
I have a, I have an iPhone SE.

288
00:14:32.000 --> 00:14:33.000
It's like 10 years old.

289
00:14:33.000 --> 00:14:34.000
Yeah.

290
00:14:34.000 --> 00:14:35.000
I ain't got none of that.

291
00:14:35.000 --> 00:14:36.000
It's, yeah, they've got all.

292
00:14:36.000 --> 00:14:37.000
So that's interesting.

293
00:14:37.000 --> 00:14:38.000
Yeah.

294
00:14:38.000 --> 00:14:45.600
I never even thought of that, you know?

295
00:14:45.600 --> 00:14:50.960
Well, and, you know, I was talking to this guy, I was like, you know, I was like, I will

296
00:14:50.960 --> 00:14:52.480
never lie to you.

297
00:14:52.480 --> 00:14:53.480
And I asked the same.

298
00:14:53.480 --> 00:14:58.440
I was like, because truth is what relationship, I said, I don't care how hard that truth

299
00:14:58.440 --> 00:14:59.440
is.

300
00:14:59.440 --> 00:14:59.940
Right.

301
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:05.440
I'm like, we can navigate it, but if you lie, that destroys a lot of things, right?

302
00:15:05.440 --> 00:15:12.640
And, and like, and so I was like, I, and I specifically was like, so many people build

303
00:15:12.640 --> 00:15:20.560
this whole facade of this is what I look like, this is who I am, which is a lie.

304
00:15:20.560 --> 00:15:24.240
Basically, it's not like an outright lie, but it's, it's like, I'm not me.

305
00:15:24.240 --> 00:15:24.800
It's deceit.

306
00:15:25.760 --> 00:15:26.240
Yeah.

307
00:15:26.240 --> 00:15:32.160
And so, and like, why are, how can you build a relationship when you're, it's starting

308
00:15:32.160 --> 00:15:32.720
with deceit?

309
00:15:33.360 --> 00:15:39.520
I mean, you want the founding blocks of your relationship to be trust and honesty, right?

310
00:15:39.520 --> 00:15:40.240
I mean, at least I do.

311
00:15:40.240 --> 00:15:40.640
I don't know.

312
00:15:40.640 --> 00:15:48.960
You guys can do whatever you like, but, you know, and, and so, you know, and there's such

313
00:15:49.120 --> 00:15:55.040
a, a push to look perfect, right?

314
00:15:56.000 --> 00:16:00.240
It's almost a sickness in the, in the, in the, in our age.

315
00:16:01.280 --> 00:16:01.520
Yeah.

316
00:16:02.080 --> 00:16:04.400
Are you able to meet her in person, Jesse?

317
00:16:04.400 --> 00:16:05.600
Is that something you're able to do?

318
00:16:07.360 --> 00:16:11.520
Um, yeah, she's like five hours away in Rhode Island.

319
00:16:11.520 --> 00:16:12.320
Five hours, woo!

320
00:16:13.440 --> 00:16:15.920
What, you got driving gloves on right there, Chris?

321
00:16:16.880 --> 00:16:17.360
What's that?

322
00:16:17.360 --> 00:16:22.880
It's a, that is a separate whole carpal tunnel disaster story that I don't want to get into.

323
00:16:22.880 --> 00:16:23.600
I didn't know if you were racing.

324
00:16:23.600 --> 00:16:25.920
Oh, yeah, this is my racing gloves.

325
00:16:26.560 --> 00:16:30.080
No, this is just me turning 40 in a couple weeks.

326
00:16:30.800 --> 00:16:31.600
Okay.

327
00:16:31.600 --> 00:16:33.040
And typing for a living.

328
00:16:33.680 --> 00:16:34.400
Oh, yeah.

329
00:16:37.200 --> 00:16:45.760
You know, I could, um, she, uh, she's Brazilian, which I didn't, I didn't know that in the

330
00:16:45.760 --> 00:16:48.080
front end, which is fine, whatever.

331
00:16:49.200 --> 00:16:55.200
Um, so she was rooting against Argentina yesterday.

332
00:16:55.200 --> 00:16:56.560
Oh, of course, yeah.

333
00:16:56.560 --> 00:16:58.000
And I was rooting for Argentina.

334
00:16:58.000 --> 00:17:02.720
So we said, like, you know, whoever wins, you know, gets a coffee from the other person

335
00:17:02.720 --> 00:17:03.200
or whatever.

336
00:17:03.200 --> 00:17:05.280
But anyhow.

337
00:17:06.800 --> 00:17:07.200
Who won?

338
00:17:08.880 --> 00:17:09.440
Uh, Spain.

339
00:17:10.800 --> 00:17:12.319
Yeah, yeah.

340
00:17:12.319 --> 00:17:13.760
It was, Spain was very good.

341
00:17:14.720 --> 00:17:19.119
I thought maybe Argentina would pull off an upset because messy with messy magic.

342
00:17:19.119 --> 00:17:20.480
But anyhow.

343
00:17:21.839 --> 00:17:24.079
Um, what was I saying?

344
00:17:24.079 --> 00:17:27.200
Anyhow, so we're actually going to Maine in two weeks.

345
00:17:28.400 --> 00:17:34.320
So I could maybe swing by, swing by a little bit, or she could swing our way a little bit.

346
00:17:34.320 --> 00:17:39.600
But yeah, I mean, I, I would encourage you if you had that deep of connection where you

347
00:17:39.600 --> 00:17:44.560
can talk for that long, at least, you know, have a night out, find something fun that

348
00:17:44.560 --> 00:17:45.520
you want to do.

349
00:17:45.520 --> 00:17:46.800
It pays to explore it.

350
00:17:46.800 --> 00:17:47.040
Right.

351
00:17:47.040 --> 00:17:47.920
You know what I mean?

352
00:17:47.920 --> 00:17:48.240
Yeah.

353
00:17:48.240 --> 00:17:48.880
Yeah.

354
00:17:48.880 --> 00:17:53.200
If nothing else, you know, you're going to have fun with her, like in a friend way, because

355
00:17:53.200 --> 00:17:54.320
you guys vibe like that.

356
00:17:54.320 --> 00:17:56.240
So I plan something fun.

357
00:17:57.360 --> 00:17:57.600
Yeah.

358
00:17:58.320 --> 00:17:58.560
Yeah.

359
00:17:58.560 --> 00:18:02.400
I, I, in general, that's what I would do next.

360
00:18:02.400 --> 00:18:04.240
But I don't know.

361
00:18:06.000 --> 00:18:06.960
We'll see.

362
00:18:06.960 --> 00:18:08.240
She is five hours away.

363
00:18:08.240 --> 00:18:11.680
So, and when we're headed to Maine, I'm headed there with my four kids.

364
00:18:12.240 --> 00:18:16.000
Oh, so it would have to, we'd have to work something out.

365
00:18:16.560 --> 00:18:17.280
Yeah.

366
00:18:17.280 --> 00:18:19.280
Oh, I didn't realize that you had four kids.

367
00:18:19.920 --> 00:18:20.400
Oh, yeah.

368
00:18:22.160 --> 00:18:22.660
Yeah.

369
00:18:24.320 --> 00:18:25.440
You know, and they're great.

370
00:18:25.440 --> 00:18:27.120
They're great kids for sure.

371
00:18:27.120 --> 00:18:27.620
Yeah.

372
00:18:28.560 --> 00:18:29.760
Well, that's a thing.

373
00:18:30.320 --> 00:18:34.960
Well, and that's, I think that's another thing, you guys, like this gal has three kids, right?

374
00:18:35.600 --> 00:18:38.800
Um, I have two, but my boys are almost grown.

375
00:18:38.800 --> 00:18:48.720
And so, um, like, you know, a lot of, I mean, you know, I don't know if you guys have looked

376
00:18:48.720 --> 00:18:54.240
at do, am I okay being an instant dad, which, which isn't for everybody.

377
00:18:54.240 --> 00:18:54.560
Right.

378
00:18:54.560 --> 00:18:59.680
Like, um, or, you know, I mean, I know, like, uh, and prepare, you were like, I was like,

379
00:18:59.680 --> 00:19:03.360
trying to say, like, when you go into something, you know, the things you want to know, it's

380
00:19:03.360 --> 00:19:04.800
like, you're not negotiables.

381
00:19:04.800 --> 00:19:05.520
Is that one of them?

382
00:19:05.520 --> 00:19:06.020
Right.

383
00:19:06.560 --> 00:19:10.160
Um, and like, and this gal's like, you know, I got three kids.

384
00:19:10.160 --> 00:19:11.600
I'm like, cool, sweet.

385
00:19:11.600 --> 00:19:12.240
Somebody low.

386
00:19:13.120 --> 00:19:13.600
Right.

387
00:19:13.600 --> 00:19:15.760
Um, more, more family.

388
00:19:15.760 --> 00:19:22.880
And so, um, yeah, anything, you have a question, Chris, or anything?

389
00:19:22.880 --> 00:19:26.480
Well, no, I was going to actually pivot on that because that actually brings up some

390
00:19:26.480 --> 00:19:29.440
of my wins this week and some of my losses.

391
00:19:29.440 --> 00:19:40.880
You guys can compliment on a comment on us to, um, so, uh, I got to meet my fourth, well,

392
00:19:40.880 --> 00:19:44.080
my third niece, uh, I've three nieces in an FB.

393
00:19:44.080 --> 00:19:49.360
Now it's a weird situation because it's actually my late wife's sister, but she has kept me

394
00:19:49.360 --> 00:19:49.920
in her life.

395
00:19:49.920 --> 00:19:51.120
She considered me brother.

396
00:19:51.680 --> 00:19:54.560
And so I've been uncle to her kids, which is really great.

397
00:19:54.560 --> 00:19:59.840
Um, but I got to meet my three week old niece who is just.

398
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:01.840
the tiniest, most adorable thing.

399
00:20:01.840 --> 00:20:05.940
And I spent the whole time just holding her

400
00:20:05.940 --> 00:20:08.780
and calming her while she's screaming her head off

401
00:20:08.780 --> 00:20:11.580
or, you know, looking around or doing whatever,

402
00:20:11.580 --> 00:20:12.480
just doing the dad thing.

403
00:20:12.480 --> 00:20:14.040
Like, talk about being an instant dad.

404
00:20:14.040 --> 00:20:15.580
I could have done that forever.

405
00:20:15.580 --> 00:20:17.940
I could have stayed overnight, done it tomorrow.

406
00:20:17.940 --> 00:20:20.500
I just, you know, I'd never,

407
00:20:20.500 --> 00:20:23.540
I've had attachments to all those kids, but I don't know.

408
00:20:23.540 --> 00:20:27.180
For some reason, she just, it was like instant.

409
00:20:27.180 --> 00:20:29.400
I am going to die for this creature.

410
00:20:30.120 --> 00:20:34.040
And so, so adorable.

411
00:20:34.040 --> 00:20:36.300
So I could be instant dad, I think.

412
00:20:36.300 --> 00:20:38.040
I've had a lot of kids like that, but.

413
00:20:38.040 --> 00:20:38.960
Nice.

414
00:20:38.960 --> 00:20:43.960
From age zero to age 14 that I've bonded with instantly.

415
00:20:45.280 --> 00:20:46.120
So I think I could.

416
00:20:46.120 --> 00:20:48.240
I think if God put that in my life, I could.

417
00:20:48.240 --> 00:20:49.080
Yeah.

418
00:20:50.080 --> 00:20:53.880
But God, so you know what God's not putting in my life is,

419
00:20:53.880 --> 00:20:57.560
so I think the last update I gave on Lindsay,

420
00:20:57.600 --> 00:21:00.280
who is this girl I've been dating for a few,

421
00:21:00.280 --> 00:21:02.720
a couple months, two and a half months now.

422
00:21:02.720 --> 00:21:06.360
She was supposed to be gone, supposed to be done.

423
00:21:07.280 --> 00:21:08.760
It resurrected yet again,

424
00:21:08.760 --> 00:21:11.200
which is like a third resurrection,

425
00:21:11.200 --> 00:21:13.440
where she came out and she's like, hits me up,

426
00:21:13.440 --> 00:21:16.360
said, hey, I got, I've been, everything's been so crazy,

427
00:21:16.360 --> 00:21:17.480
but I really, really want to see you.

428
00:21:17.480 --> 00:21:20.080
Can you like meet me after work at,

429
00:21:20.080 --> 00:21:21.920
like, I can wake up early because I get off nights.

430
00:21:21.920 --> 00:21:24.000
So she's like, I can wake up early

431
00:21:24.000 --> 00:21:26.240
when you meet at like 6.30 in the morning or whatever.

432
00:21:26.240 --> 00:21:27.320
And she's like, all right.

433
00:21:27.320 --> 00:21:28.680
Well, she really wants to connect.

434
00:21:28.680 --> 00:21:30.200
I had a big, long conversation about,

435
00:21:30.200 --> 00:21:31.680
hey, I need like proof of life.

436
00:21:31.680 --> 00:21:34.400
You can't just like do the pseudo ghosting thing.

437
00:21:34.400 --> 00:21:36.880
Like, I understand you're not a big texter.

438
00:21:36.880 --> 00:21:38.840
You don't like that kind of stuff,

439
00:21:38.840 --> 00:21:40.360
but at least, you know,

440
00:21:40.360 --> 00:21:43.360
don't go 48, 72 hours without responding to my texts.

441
00:21:43.360 --> 00:21:45.640
Like, I gotta know you're alive.

442
00:21:45.640 --> 00:21:46.920
Yeah.

443
00:21:46.920 --> 00:21:51.920
And so we had a date last week on Saturday,

444
00:21:52.280 --> 00:21:54.320
not this Saturday, but the Saturday before.

445
00:21:54.320 --> 00:21:55.920
And then we ended up getting back Sunday.

446
00:21:56.600 --> 00:21:58.080
Saturday night was amazing as it always is

447
00:21:58.080 --> 00:21:59.920
when she's just got kind of unstructured time.

448
00:21:59.920 --> 00:22:01.800
She didn't have work the next morning.

449
00:22:01.800 --> 00:22:04.440
And it's a big, long date.

450
00:22:04.440 --> 00:22:08.000
We actually kind of talked about some deep things

451
00:22:08.000 --> 00:22:11.560
because she's very, very, very like closed and careful,

452
00:22:11.560 --> 00:22:13.560
found out there's some abuse going on

453
00:22:13.560 --> 00:22:16.920
that she's dealing with, I didn't know about.

454
00:22:17.920 --> 00:22:20.280
So she's recovering and needs healing from that

455
00:22:20.280 --> 00:22:21.120
and all that.

456
00:22:21.120 --> 00:22:25.560
And so I was like, okay, we're starting to connect.

457
00:22:26.240 --> 00:22:27.080
We're starting to get on deep things.

458
00:22:27.080 --> 00:22:32.080
We're starting to talk about actual long-term things.

459
00:22:32.840 --> 00:22:35.480
So maybe things are taking a corner.

460
00:22:35.480 --> 00:22:40.400
So Monday, we kind of text a couple times.

461
00:22:41.800 --> 00:22:43.200
Tuesday, once.

462
00:22:44.200 --> 00:22:45.440
Wednesday, nothing.

463
00:22:45.440 --> 00:22:46.920
Thursday, nothing.

464
00:22:46.920 --> 00:22:48.640
Friday, nothing.

465
00:22:48.640 --> 00:22:51.000
Saturday, I'm like, I text her and I'm like,

466
00:22:51.000 --> 00:22:53.720
look, can we have a phone call or something?

467
00:22:53.720 --> 00:22:54.800
I just, I gotta talk to you.

468
00:22:54.840 --> 00:22:57.600
Let's see if we're gonna get together.

469
00:22:57.600 --> 00:22:59.000
So we talk.

470
00:22:59.000 --> 00:23:01.680
She's not gonna have any time to get together this.

471
00:23:01.680 --> 00:23:03.000
She didn't have any time this weekend.

472
00:23:03.000 --> 00:23:04.720
She's not having time next weekend.

473
00:23:04.720 --> 00:23:06.160
Weekend after that's my birthday weekend.

474
00:23:06.160 --> 00:23:08.000
I'm gonna be out of town all weekend.

475
00:23:08.000 --> 00:23:10.800
I did try to invite her, but she's working and all that.

476
00:23:13.360 --> 00:23:15.880
And so I'm just like, so I'm at the point

477
00:23:15.880 --> 00:23:19.360
where I've kind of took yesterday

478
00:23:19.360 --> 00:23:22.240
and I took a couple, two, three hours

479
00:23:22.240 --> 00:23:24.320
just to write this huge long letter.

480
00:23:25.240 --> 00:23:30.240
This huge letter to her, not intending to send it.

481
00:23:31.520 --> 00:23:34.320
I just had to get all of this stuff off out of my head.

482
00:23:34.320 --> 00:23:37.400
My frustrations, my feelings.

483
00:23:37.400 --> 00:23:38.920
And so I do like this girl.

484
00:23:38.920 --> 00:23:41.120
On paper, I mean, compatibility wise,

485
00:23:41.120 --> 00:23:44.560
she's like, we have so many common interests

486
00:23:44.560 --> 00:23:46.400
and we like adventures together.

487
00:23:46.400 --> 00:23:51.000
And I think she's beautiful and we have connections.

488
00:23:51.000 --> 00:23:52.880
She obviously likes me.

489
00:23:53.760 --> 00:23:56.960
There's connection, but I feel my main concern

490
00:23:56.960 --> 00:24:01.640
is that I'm fairly sure that when we're not together,

491
00:24:01.640 --> 00:24:04.560
I don't think I cross her mind at all.

492
00:24:04.560 --> 00:24:07.280
And I have to like force myself to not think about her

493
00:24:07.280 --> 00:24:09.640
because I'm like, you're being crazy

494
00:24:09.640 --> 00:24:11.200
and hormonal and emotional.

495
00:24:11.200 --> 00:24:13.560
So it's just, you need to calm down.

496
00:24:15.320 --> 00:24:17.360
And so I'm just like, that's my main thing

497
00:24:17.360 --> 00:24:19.920
is like, I've been trying to get together with her to talk.

498
00:24:19.920 --> 00:24:21.960
Cause I'm like, this can't keep going.

499
00:24:22.040 --> 00:24:24.360
Like we can't just not spend time with each other

500
00:24:24.360 --> 00:24:26.200
and expect affection to grow.

501
00:24:26.200 --> 00:24:28.720
If affection's growing on your side, you need to say it.

502
00:24:28.720 --> 00:24:29.640
Like I need to hear it.

503
00:24:29.640 --> 00:24:32.040
I'm a words of affirmation and physical touch guy.

504
00:24:32.040 --> 00:24:34.080
I need to hear something out of your mouth

505
00:24:34.080 --> 00:24:36.120
that you actually want this to keep going,

506
00:24:36.120 --> 00:24:38.800
that you actually are becoming deeper,

507
00:24:38.800 --> 00:24:41.320
more deeply attracted or affectionate for me,

508
00:24:41.320 --> 00:24:42.720
that this is moving in a direction

509
00:24:42.720 --> 00:24:44.360
that we both wanted to move in.

510
00:24:44.360 --> 00:24:47.360
And the truth is, if she told me in September,

511
00:24:47.360 --> 00:24:49.480
when she's done with this silly season

512
00:24:49.480 --> 00:24:51.240
and she's back from vacation,

513
00:24:51.240 --> 00:24:53.320
if she told me in September that,

514
00:24:53.320 --> 00:24:54.840
oh, this is all gonna change,

515
00:24:54.840 --> 00:24:56.560
I probably would be that guy where I'm like,

516
00:24:56.560 --> 00:24:58.240
okay, fine, cool, let's just keep going.

517
00:24:58.240 --> 00:25:00.040
But yeah, I can't do this.

518
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:03.360
like drips and drabs and little dribbled, and...

519
00:25:03.360 --> 00:25:04.640
It's the bread crummy.

520
00:25:04.640 --> 00:25:05.480
Yes.

521
00:25:05.480 --> 00:25:06.320
It's the bread, you know,

522
00:25:06.320 --> 00:25:08.280
I'll give you a little and then drag you on,

523
00:25:08.280 --> 00:25:10.920
and you know, and you go down the path.

524
00:25:10.920 --> 00:25:12.160
And you know...

525
00:25:12.160 --> 00:25:14.240
That's what's out of the attachment style.

526
00:25:14.240 --> 00:25:15.080
That's...

527
00:25:15.080 --> 00:25:16.400
Avoiding?

528
00:25:16.400 --> 00:25:17.560
Yeah.

529
00:25:17.560 --> 00:25:21.080
And so, so you just do what you can, right?

530
00:25:21.080 --> 00:25:22.480
Like, you know, like you put her on the shelf

531
00:25:22.480 --> 00:25:25.140
and like, you know, if it happens, great,

532
00:25:25.140 --> 00:25:27.840
but don't hold your breath, right?

533
00:25:27.840 --> 00:25:28.760
Oh, and that's where I'm at,

534
00:25:28.760 --> 00:25:31.520
is I just, I would like a face-to-face with her,

535
00:25:31.520 --> 00:25:32.720
and if she can't get any time for me,

536
00:25:32.720 --> 00:25:34.160
she said she's gonna try to find some time

537
00:25:34.160 --> 00:25:35.440
before or after work this week,

538
00:25:35.440 --> 00:25:38.880
but I might, I just wanna have a face-to-face

539
00:25:38.880 --> 00:25:40.080
and just be done.

540
00:25:40.080 --> 00:25:41.380
I don't wanna break it off forever,

541
00:25:41.380 --> 00:25:43.600
but I'm saying either we need to be done,

542
00:25:43.600 --> 00:25:46.340
or let's just put this,

543
00:25:46.340 --> 00:25:48.040
let's just put this on ice,

544
00:25:48.040 --> 00:25:49.680
and read, and you can text me

545
00:25:49.680 --> 00:25:51.680
when you're out of your silly season in September,

546
00:25:51.680 --> 00:25:53.320
where we can actually see each other.

547
00:25:53.320 --> 00:25:55.680
And, but I can't do this whole,

548
00:25:56.640 --> 00:25:57.920
wondering if you're ever gonna text me,

549
00:25:57.920 --> 00:26:00.000
wondering if you're ever gonna schedule the next thing,

550
00:26:00.000 --> 00:26:02.200
thinking that you've ghosted me.

551
00:26:02.200 --> 00:26:03.640
Yeah, it makes sense.

552
00:26:03.640 --> 00:26:05.160
Yeah, so that's where I'm at.

553
00:26:05.160 --> 00:26:07.440
She's still, but I like, I don't wanna move on,

554
00:26:07.440 --> 00:26:08.840
I don't wanna jump back on the apps

555
00:26:08.840 --> 00:26:10.080
and start chatting with other people

556
00:26:10.080 --> 00:26:11.120
instead of scheduling dates,

557
00:26:11.120 --> 00:26:13.000
until I've like, had this face-to-face and say,

558
00:26:13.000 --> 00:26:15.840
look, we're, I know I've offered exclusivity,

559
00:26:15.840 --> 00:26:16.720
I know we're being exclusive,

560
00:26:16.720 --> 00:26:20.280
but like, you're, I got nothing, dude.

561
00:26:20.280 --> 00:26:23.020
I'm being exclusive with an absent person.

562
00:26:23.020 --> 00:26:24.720
Yeah, yeah.

563
00:26:24.720 --> 00:26:25.560
With yourself.

564
00:26:26.200 --> 00:26:28.600
I mean, I'm already exclusive with myself.

565
00:26:28.600 --> 00:26:30.440
I don't need help myself.

566
00:26:30.440 --> 00:26:33.120
It's like, you know, I'm doing pretty good

567
00:26:33.120 --> 00:26:34.280
being single by myself.

568
00:26:34.280 --> 00:26:35.820
I don't need you to help me.

569
00:26:37.160 --> 00:26:42.160
So I'm sorry, Chris, that's, I understand your pain.

570
00:26:42.360 --> 00:26:44.520
You know, Jackie's like, Mike, you fight all the avoidance.

571
00:26:44.520 --> 00:26:46.120
And I'm like, yeah, I do.

572
00:26:46.120 --> 00:26:47.880
It actually happened.

573
00:26:47.880 --> 00:26:48.720
The new gal.

574
00:26:48.720 --> 00:26:51.160
Okay, here's another pro, I could just prophesy this,

575
00:26:51.160 --> 00:26:53.880
that you'll start finding people who will engage.

576
00:26:54.520 --> 00:26:59.440
You know, like, yeah, she's secure.

577
00:26:59.440 --> 00:27:00.600
She was disorganized.

578
00:27:00.600 --> 00:27:03.040
So like, but she's like, I did all the work.

579
00:27:03.040 --> 00:27:05.440
So, and I'm proud of you guys for doing the work.

580
00:27:05.440 --> 00:27:10.440
So, but yeah, chasing avoidant

581
00:27:10.440 --> 00:27:13.960
or doing the avoidant games are not,

582
00:27:13.960 --> 00:27:16.320
it really is a boundary thing, right?

583
00:27:16.320 --> 00:27:18.800
Setting boundaries and like, you know,

584
00:27:18.800 --> 00:27:21.040
but the problem is, is we don't want to set boundaries

585
00:27:21.040 --> 00:27:23.840
because then there's a chance of losing and we do like it.

586
00:27:24.680 --> 00:27:27.240
So it has that whole conundrum, right?

587
00:27:27.240 --> 00:27:29.320
Like, cause the reality is, hey, I'm worth more.

588
00:27:29.320 --> 00:27:31.080
And there's somebody who would give me the time.

589
00:27:31.080 --> 00:27:34.040
You know, like this gal, Jessica and I,

590
00:27:34.040 --> 00:27:37.340
like we're gonna be like on a call every day,

591
00:27:37.340 --> 00:27:41.200
every day for the next week and a half

592
00:27:41.200 --> 00:27:43.560
because she has to go back to school.

593
00:27:43.560 --> 00:27:45.760
So we're just gonna blitz and hang out

594
00:27:45.760 --> 00:27:49.280
and like build something, right?

595
00:27:49.280 --> 00:27:51.200
And so we get to know each other.

596
00:27:52.200 --> 00:27:54.520
And so you're looking at, you know,

597
00:27:54.520 --> 00:27:57.560
I've spent so many dates looking for somebody

598
00:27:57.560 --> 00:27:58.760
who was available, right?

599
00:27:58.760 --> 00:28:00.760
You know, and they're out there

600
00:28:00.760 --> 00:28:02.040
and you're an amazing dude, dude.

601
00:28:02.040 --> 00:28:05.080
Like, I mean, I can't believe anybody's like,

602
00:28:05.080 --> 00:28:06.880
not just like, hey, dude, let's go, right?

603
00:28:06.880 --> 00:28:07.720
So, and-

604
00:28:07.720 --> 00:28:11.160
And I'm not, I'm not like saying that to my own horny.

605
00:28:11.160 --> 00:28:12.000
I agree with you.

606
00:28:12.000 --> 00:28:16.080
I just, like I said, I only, I need to hear the words.

607
00:28:16.080 --> 00:28:17.080
I just need some direction.

608
00:28:17.080 --> 00:28:18.480
She's very tight lipped.

609
00:28:18.480 --> 00:28:20.440
She's very introverted.

610
00:28:20.440 --> 00:28:21.840
She's even admitted, look,

611
00:28:21.840 --> 00:28:23.880
I have trouble with the whole emotional things.

612
00:28:23.880 --> 00:28:25.400
Like I don't say what I,

613
00:28:25.400 --> 00:28:28.000
I should say things and I just don't, I get it.

614
00:28:28.000 --> 00:28:30.680
So I've been patient and I'm willing to be patient,

615
00:28:30.680 --> 00:28:31.640
but I need to hear some words.

616
00:28:31.640 --> 00:28:32.720
I need to hear Christopher look.

617
00:28:32.720 --> 00:28:36.000
I, if I had no work right now,

618
00:28:36.000 --> 00:28:37.520
we would be hanging out every single day.

619
00:28:37.520 --> 00:28:40.600
I do want this, like, but it's just, I'm so tired.

620
00:28:40.600 --> 00:28:41.540
Cause it's possible.

621
00:28:41.540 --> 00:28:42.380
I'm tired and busy.

622
00:28:42.380 --> 00:28:43.200
I have no time.

623
00:28:43.200 --> 00:28:44.220
I have no energy.

624
00:28:44.220 --> 00:28:46.080
I have, I've been there.

625
00:28:46.080 --> 00:28:48.360
I've been there where I'm working 16, 18 hour days.

626
00:28:48.360 --> 00:28:49.520
And I had nothing.

627
00:28:49.520 --> 00:28:54.360
I had no capacity for anything, but if that's the,

628
00:28:54.360 --> 00:28:56.280
and she's working six, seven days a week,

629
00:28:56.280 --> 00:28:59.440
plus some family events and all this other garbage she has.

630
00:28:59.440 --> 00:29:00.280
So I get it.

631
00:29:00.280 --> 00:29:01.920
So she's not ready for a relationship.

632
00:29:01.920 --> 00:29:03.920
She's not ready for a relationship and she can't give it.

633
00:29:03.920 --> 00:29:04.760
Yeah.

634
00:29:04.760 --> 00:29:05.580
But I need to hear the words.

635
00:29:05.580 --> 00:29:06.760
I need her to speak to me.

636
00:29:06.760 --> 00:29:07.680
I need her to look me in the eye.

637
00:29:07.680 --> 00:29:08.520
This is what I want.

638
00:29:08.520 --> 00:29:09.520
This is what I'm thinking.

639
00:29:09.520 --> 00:29:12.360
Yes, affection is growing or no, it's not, or good.

640
00:29:12.360 --> 00:29:14.780
I just need information and I have zero information.

641
00:29:14.780 --> 00:29:16.160
That's just frustrating.

642
00:29:16.160 --> 00:29:17.720
Yeah, I can understand that.

643
00:29:17.720 --> 00:29:18.560
Yeah.

644
00:29:18.560 --> 00:29:22.120
And it's related to this abuse.

645
00:29:22.120 --> 00:29:24.480
You said she has some abuse going on or something

646
00:29:24.480 --> 00:29:25.320
in the past?

647
00:29:25.320 --> 00:29:26.560
She mentioned that on our Saturday,

648
00:29:26.560 --> 00:29:30.520
like Saturday night, we really like started getting closer

649
00:29:30.520 --> 00:29:33.360
and like did this thing where I'm like, okay,

650
00:29:33.360 --> 00:29:34.960
I feel like we've crossed over something.

651
00:29:34.960 --> 00:29:36.360
And I started telling her some stuff.

652
00:29:36.360 --> 00:29:39.320
She started telling me some stuff and I'm like,

653
00:29:39.320 --> 00:29:41.880
and she's like, I'm not ready to like roll it out right now.

654
00:29:41.880 --> 00:29:44.040
I'm having to, you know, too good of a time.

655
00:29:44.040 --> 00:29:46.000
I don't want to ruin the moment.

656
00:29:46.080 --> 00:29:48.440
But yeah, it's just understand

657
00:29:48.440 --> 00:29:49.600
that that's what you're getting into.

658
00:29:49.600 --> 00:29:52.080
If you decide to do this, I'm like, that's,

659
00:29:52.080 --> 00:29:54.080
that's like, I'm prepared for that.

660
00:29:54.080 --> 00:29:55.800
If she needs to do some healing on her own,

661
00:29:55.800 --> 00:29:56.760
fine, let's cross that bridge.

662
00:29:56.760 --> 00:29:59.280
But it's not like a deal breaker for me.

663
00:29:59.280 --> 00:30:00.120
Yeah.

664
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:04.880
But then then we get into this like now we don't talk. So avoidance

665
00:30:05.000 --> 00:30:12.600
What happens is they really want connection. They draw near you have this breakthrough and then they freak out and

666
00:30:13.120 --> 00:30:14.680
bounce

667
00:30:14.680 --> 00:30:18.360
right, and that's the avoidance cycle, right and

668
00:30:19.440 --> 00:30:22.160
It's like yeah, you touched you had this great time

669
00:30:22.160 --> 00:30:26.440
you had all this thing and she's scared and afraid and running right and so

670
00:30:27.200 --> 00:30:31.680
Yeah, and you can wait it out or but here's the thing

671
00:30:32.840 --> 00:30:36.600
Do you I mean like do you want this for the rest of your relationship?

672
00:30:37.920 --> 00:30:39.920
Mean no, I like if she can't

673
00:30:40.160 --> 00:30:47.400
Like communication. I've got at least no, I don't need you. Like I said, I'm not some sort of you're not asking for a lot

674
00:30:49.600 --> 00:30:54.560
Yeah, and and she may not be it sounds like yeah, so I've lived this cycle

675
00:30:54.560 --> 00:31:00.480
So I just my heart my heart goes out to you, right? I mean, I've never been with an avoidant

676
00:31:00.480 --> 00:31:04.880
This is I got I've got four that I've been with like I married one. So, um

677
00:31:05.640 --> 00:31:07.640
It's it's not a fun

678
00:31:09.640 --> 00:31:14.960
It's not a fun circle I didn't I didn't know about it when I was married right and then I got I didn't know about

679
00:31:14.960 --> 00:31:21.840
It before a few months ago when you guys mentioned it and so like basically love has been scary. So when they draw near

680
00:31:22.560 --> 00:31:24.560
Our be our

681
00:31:24.720 --> 00:31:27.600
They lose control. They're afraid that they're gonna get hurt

682
00:31:27.600 --> 00:31:34.280
So they bounce but they intensely want to be connected, but they just I mean, that's a really terrible description of it

683
00:31:34.280 --> 00:31:39.680
but like basically intimacy scares them though, they want it and so then they go and they

684
00:31:40.160 --> 00:31:42.960
Regulate themselves and they come back when they're regulated

685
00:31:43.560 --> 00:31:48.160
And it needs inner healing to to become secure to where you can actually

686
00:31:48.920 --> 00:31:56.480
Have a relationship right and people can't heal it, but are they working on it and and do you want to?

687
00:31:57.160 --> 00:32:03.080
Navigate that I mean because if you do great, I mean, that's that's your that's but like I mean like this gal today

688
00:32:03.080 --> 00:32:09.100
I just was blown away like we're having a conversation. She's not running. She's actually grilling me with really heavy questions

689
00:32:09.440 --> 00:32:11.440
like, you know, I just like

690
00:32:11.960 --> 00:32:16.880
Not heavy questions, but like she's just like hey, all right, let's let's do

691
00:32:17.320 --> 00:32:20.280
Let's do this. I'm not running. I'm pushing it. I'm pushing

692
00:32:21.520 --> 00:32:24.880
I'm pushing with you. I want to I want to go to right and so

693
00:32:25.400 --> 00:32:28.660
And that's my prayer for all you is that you find somebody who wants to run with you

694
00:32:29.200 --> 00:32:30.880
so, um, I

695
00:32:30.880 --> 00:32:36.520
Mean, this is good information. Like I'm I'm it's all falling into place now and I'm just like I still need that face time

696
00:32:36.520 --> 00:32:39.160
I still need to do something. I got it. I got to put an end

697
00:32:40.240 --> 00:32:43.600
You need closure. Yeah, so it was just understandable

698
00:32:43.840 --> 00:32:50.200
Right, I hope you get it like because it's that's one of the things they're not good at either

699
00:32:51.640 --> 00:32:54.720
Like, you know because they want the intimacy

700
00:32:55.520 --> 00:32:57.720
It's just not safe for them. And so

701
00:32:58.600 --> 00:33:04.000
so but the push-pull is is real and like and you really can't be with somebody who

702
00:33:04.480 --> 00:33:06.480
As soon as they get close they run away

703
00:33:06.920 --> 00:33:12.720
Right, and so you can say hey and you sound like you've been putting like hey, you're running away

704
00:33:12.720 --> 00:33:17.840
I need I need to know that you're alive right which is a boundary on and I'm like

705
00:33:17.840 --> 00:33:21.800
I need this for a relationship and she's not able to she hasn't been able to

706
00:33:23.560 --> 00:33:30.440
To honor that because because they're just not capable when they can't it's not that they don't want to is that they're incapable because of

707
00:33:30.440 --> 00:33:34.280
Wounds, right? And so and that's why I

708
00:33:35.080 --> 00:33:38.360
Mean this that's why this course is so like doing the heart work is so important

709
00:33:38.920 --> 00:33:40.920
Um

710
00:33:41.120 --> 00:33:45.280
All right, Chris Lord Jesus help and would you bring somebody who actually

711
00:33:46.800 --> 00:33:52.960
Yeah engages and help her to get help the help she needs so she can actually have healthy conversations to

712
00:33:53.480 --> 00:33:54.720
and

713
00:33:54.720 --> 00:33:56.720
relationships, amen

714
00:33:57.640 --> 00:34:02.280
Anybody else got something want to chat? Hey Dan, how you doing, buddy, right?

715
00:34:04.560 --> 00:34:06.560
Well

716
00:34:06.920 --> 00:34:10.480
Well, you know with my work schedule stuff it's really hard for me to

717
00:34:11.400 --> 00:34:14.800
pull the time to I saw him faced all my

718
00:34:15.840 --> 00:34:20.880
Well, I think I'm on on number four on the on the course. Yeah

719
00:34:21.719 --> 00:34:24.480
But you know seven in the morning and seven at night

720
00:34:25.159 --> 00:34:27.159
That's a long that's a long day

721
00:34:27.480 --> 00:34:34.159
Pretty pretty tough schedule to schedule very much else in with my you know with my kids and my grandkids

722
00:34:35.159 --> 00:34:37.159
Also, but

723
00:34:37.480 --> 00:34:43.080
And and the small town I live in, you know, I mean like 3,500 people

724
00:34:43.679 --> 00:34:46.639
But I don't know. I probably need prayer for inspiration

725
00:34:47.679 --> 00:34:49.159
motivation

726
00:34:49.159 --> 00:34:51.120
direction

727
00:34:51.120 --> 00:34:54.679
Probably something like that. I did join Jackie's big club

728
00:34:56.480 --> 00:35:00.000
It's on Sunday, that's my day off awesome

729
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:07.000
So, I'm hoping for some of that out of there, and to learn some more stuff, but...

730
00:35:07.000 --> 00:35:16.080
Yeah, well, may the Lord bless that, and give you the bandwidth to have a relationship or

731
00:35:16.080 --> 00:35:17.080
bring that around.

732
00:35:17.080 --> 00:35:22.840
You know, like, you guys, when I'm in a season where I'm running, I don't, you know, Jackie

733
00:35:22.840 --> 00:35:24.760
was asking me, Mike, are you ready for me spotlighted?

734
00:35:24.760 --> 00:35:29.080
I'm like, no, dude, I'm freaking working 12-hour days, right, you know, I don't have bandwidth

735
00:35:29.080 --> 00:35:30.080
to do it.

736
00:35:30.080 --> 00:35:33.320
So, but like, Kevin, I really like that, even though you don't have the bandwidth, you're

737
00:35:33.320 --> 00:35:38.560
still pushing, you're still moving forward, even though it's to better yourself, so when

738
00:35:38.560 --> 00:35:44.000
you are available and have the bandwidth, you can do it, so I'm, way to go, dude, it's

739
00:35:44.000 --> 00:35:45.000
amazing.

740
00:35:45.000 --> 00:35:53.680
I've got a pretty easy boss, I mean, my hours can be flexible if they need to be, you know,

741
00:35:53.680 --> 00:35:59.040
but unless there's something in front of me, you know, something in front of me, then

742
00:35:59.040 --> 00:36:04.040
I'm going to spend time working, because it's seasonal, and my boss sold his company, so

743
00:36:04.040 --> 00:36:09.160
I'm not quite sure I'm doing it, what I'm doing after I'm done, you know, it's...

744
00:36:09.160 --> 00:36:11.560
You get it, you get it while you can, right?

745
00:36:11.560 --> 00:36:12.560
Yeah, yeah.

746
00:36:12.560 --> 00:36:18.240
No, absolutely, no, it makes sense, so good job, I mean, you're doing awesome, I mean,

747
00:36:18.240 --> 00:36:20.160
you can only do what you can do.

748
00:36:20.160 --> 00:36:21.160
Yep, yep.

749
00:36:21.160 --> 00:36:24.160
This is, this is my view here.

750
00:36:24.160 --> 00:36:26.160
Wow, that's wild.

751
00:36:26.160 --> 00:36:35.240
This is, that's Valdez Glacier, it goes way back up into the canyon, but we're doing some

752
00:36:35.240 --> 00:36:42.520
reclaiming DNR work, trying to make them happy, Department of Resources work, so it's an old

753
00:36:42.520 --> 00:36:51.000
quarry that we're probably done with, but trying to make it more touristy, trellis stuff,

754
00:36:51.000 --> 00:36:58.520
they come out here and go kayaking in between the glaciers.

755
00:36:58.520 --> 00:37:00.520
That's wild, bro, that's wild, that's cool.

756
00:37:00.520 --> 00:37:04.680
Okay, well, I'll let you guys go, I'm going to pick you on mute again and turn this thing

757
00:37:04.680 --> 00:37:05.680
back up.

758
00:37:05.680 --> 00:37:08.840
All right, cool, hey, have a great, have a good time, and blessings to you.

759
00:37:08.840 --> 00:37:10.840
Yeah, blessings to you.

760
00:37:11.160 --> 00:37:13.160
Hey, other Christopher, how are you doing, bud?

761
00:37:13.160 --> 00:37:17.160
Anything new and exciting, anything moving for you?

762
00:37:17.160 --> 00:37:20.160
None, I got nothing to share.

763
00:37:20.160 --> 00:37:21.160
I'm sorry, bro.

764
00:37:21.160 --> 00:37:24.160
Well, Lord, would you help Christopher have something to share?

765
00:37:24.160 --> 00:37:27.160
I mean, was it at least encouraging hearing my story?

766
00:37:27.160 --> 00:37:31.160
Like, I'm kind of blown away, guys, you know?

767
00:37:31.160 --> 00:37:38.160
I hope it was encouraging to your heart, and Lord, I just ask that you would heal hopelessness

768
00:37:38.480 --> 00:37:46.480
right now, and discouragement, and that you bring desires fulfilled, and the tree of life,

769
00:37:46.480 --> 00:37:50.480
Lord, because waiting takes forever, and it makes the heart sick.

770
00:37:50.480 --> 00:37:55.480
So I just pray you heal the sick hearts, that you break off the hopelessness and the despair,

771
00:37:55.480 --> 00:38:02.480
and even despondency, and that you just would bless it with shalom and love, and just freedom,

772
00:38:02.480 --> 00:38:07.480
and help each of these guys get to where they need to be to be ready for their spirit mate,

773
00:38:07.800 --> 00:38:10.800
and Lord, would you intersect them?

774
00:38:10.800 --> 00:38:11.800
Amen.

775
00:38:12.800 --> 00:38:16.800
So, man, it's 540.

776
00:38:16.800 --> 00:38:18.800
I should try to think.

777
00:38:18.800 --> 00:38:22.800
Anything you guys want to cover that would be applicable to what you're going through

778
00:38:22.800 --> 00:38:23.800
at the moment?

779
00:38:23.800 --> 00:38:26.800
I mean, I can do a myriad of things.

780
00:38:26.800 --> 00:38:33.800
I mean, I think we've talked about the avoidant attachment, avoidance, just about every,

781
00:38:34.120 --> 00:38:36.120
seems like every time.

782
00:38:38.120 --> 00:38:47.120
So anything, like the apps, like how to do apps, shoot.

783
00:38:52.120 --> 00:38:57.120
One of the biggest things, you guys, you know, and I know I'm going to beat all the dead

784
00:38:57.440 --> 00:39:04.440
horses until everybody rides them, right, is women need emotional availability, right?

785
00:39:04.440 --> 00:39:11.440
And I wasn't, because we need sex, they need emotional availability, right?

786
00:39:11.440 --> 00:39:18.440
And if, you know, some of you guys are very expressive and very emotionally available,

787
00:39:18.440 --> 00:39:23.440
or like you can express yourself and have bandwidth.

788
00:39:23.760 --> 00:39:27.760
Women, you know, I always thought that women were always emotionally available, and it's

789
00:39:27.760 --> 00:39:28.760
not true either.

790
00:39:28.760 --> 00:39:30.760
That was one of the misnomers I had.

791
00:39:30.760 --> 00:39:36.760
But like our need for sex is our physical need and a huge core for us.

792
00:39:36.760 --> 00:39:41.760
For them, it's emotional availability and connection, you know, and spiritual connection.

793
00:39:41.760 --> 00:39:46.760
I mean, you guys, and so anything you can do to be cultivating.

794
00:39:47.080 --> 00:39:54.080
Like one of the things that I've been doing for the last 10 years is getting ready for

795
00:39:54.080 --> 00:39:56.080
my future bride, right?

796
00:39:56.080 --> 00:40:00.080
And I was able to tell that to Jessica today.

797
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:02.200
She's like, so what work have you done?

798
00:40:02.200 --> 00:40:04.840
I'm like, I've been working for 10 years

799
00:40:04.840 --> 00:40:09.840
to like become the best husband for my future bride.

800
00:40:09.860 --> 00:40:13.020
And it stunned her, right?

801
00:40:13.020 --> 00:40:14.580
Like, and she, you know, and so,

802
00:40:15.660 --> 00:40:17.000
and she's been doing a lot of work too.

803
00:40:17.000 --> 00:40:21.240
So like, you get to be able to share that.

804
00:40:21.240 --> 00:40:25.200
I got to do it and then get to be able to share it.

805
00:40:25.200 --> 00:40:26.900
You know, one of the things she asked me,

806
00:40:26.900 --> 00:40:29.700
she's like, so when was the last time that you saw porn?

807
00:40:30.340 --> 00:40:33.060
Right, and so like, you could be working on that,

808
00:40:33.060 --> 00:40:37.260
where it's a lot easier to say it was X time ago

809
00:40:37.260 --> 00:40:39.140
versus it was today.

810
00:40:39.140 --> 00:40:42.760
I had a problem versus I have a problem, right?

811
00:40:42.760 --> 00:40:47.380
You know, I mean, it's like all these things are,

812
00:40:47.380 --> 00:40:49.840
you have the opportunity to build now

813
00:40:49.840 --> 00:40:51.540
that will pay dividends later.

814
00:40:51.540 --> 00:40:54.260
And I know it's not the most glorious or fun thing,

815
00:40:54.260 --> 00:40:56.100
but it's really huge.

816
00:40:57.000 --> 00:41:00.880
Like, I have a, I've had a fund for my,

817
00:41:00.880 --> 00:41:02.160
I call it my future family fund,

818
00:41:02.160 --> 00:41:04.880
which is money for a wedding ring,

819
00:41:04.880 --> 00:41:07.040
for a wedding should we want it,

820
00:41:07.040 --> 00:41:10.260
and for just money to grow and to maybe like move

821
00:41:10.260 --> 00:41:12.840
into places to buy whatever.

822
00:41:12.840 --> 00:41:16.280
And I was able to, you know, and she's, you know,

823
00:41:16.280 --> 00:41:18.120
I was able to share that.

824
00:41:18.120 --> 00:41:20.680
You know, I could, like, if the Lord wants to,

825
00:41:20.680 --> 00:41:23.440
I literally could fly to Virginia tomorrow and marry her

826
00:41:23.440 --> 00:41:25.920
if we, I mean, like, if that was, I mean, I'm not going to,

827
00:41:26.620 --> 00:41:27.460
I mean, that would be insane,

828
00:41:27.460 --> 00:41:31.380
but just saying I have the capability and it's empowering.

829
00:41:31.380 --> 00:41:33.100
And I don't say any of this to be like,

830
00:41:33.100 --> 00:41:35.360
I just want you guys to win, right?

831
00:41:36.500 --> 00:41:38.100
So, hey, Mr. Hunter, how are you doing?

832
00:41:38.100 --> 00:41:42.020
Oh, I got, I was working too late last week.

833
00:41:42.020 --> 00:41:44.440
Sorry, I glided a bearing about the wind.

834
00:41:45.460 --> 00:41:46.820
Yeah, yeah, it's all right.

835
00:41:46.820 --> 00:41:47.860
You're here today.

836
00:41:47.860 --> 00:41:49.420
Well, I got a win and-

837
00:41:49.420 --> 00:41:50.260
You got a win?

838
00:41:50.260 --> 00:41:51.080
What's your win?

839
00:41:51.080 --> 00:41:53.460
I'm in 15 and was never able to do this

840
00:41:53.460 --> 00:41:55.420
for 15 and a half years.

841
00:41:55.760 --> 00:41:57.880
I haven't seen porn in over two months,

842
00:41:57.880 --> 00:41:59.600
in a little over two months,

843
00:41:59.600 --> 00:42:02.360
little, almost, a little close to two months,

844
00:42:02.360 --> 00:42:05.560
and I went 12 days in a row without self-gratifying

845
00:42:05.560 --> 00:42:06.760
or masturbating.

846
00:42:06.760 --> 00:42:07.600
There you go.

847
00:42:07.600 --> 00:42:10.040
You're building, you're getting those neural pathways

848
00:42:10.040 --> 00:42:12.400
to where you don't desire it anymore, right?

849
00:42:12.400 --> 00:42:14.840
And great job, dude.

850
00:42:14.840 --> 00:42:15.680
That's a win.

851
00:42:16.640 --> 00:42:18.960
I just, I don't, it's 12 days in a row.

852
00:42:18.960 --> 00:42:20.760
Now I'm going to try and go 14

853
00:42:20.760 --> 00:42:21.600
and then the rest of this-

854
00:42:21.600 --> 00:42:24.560
Hey, hey, hey, why don't you go, like, forever?

855
00:42:25.520 --> 00:42:29.200
I mean, you know, you guys set the bar

856
00:42:29.200 --> 00:42:31.680
where it's actually worthwhile, right?

857
00:42:31.680 --> 00:42:33.820
Like, why are you setting the bar at the 14?

858
00:42:33.820 --> 00:42:35.120
Set it at 4,000.

859
00:42:35.120 --> 00:42:36.240
Set it at a million.

860
00:42:36.240 --> 00:42:40.000
Like, set it at something where, like, just do it.

861
00:42:40.000 --> 00:42:41.040
You've already did.

862
00:42:41.040 --> 00:42:45.020
Don't let the enemy steal the 14, I mean, the 12 days.

863
00:42:45.020 --> 00:42:46.840
Don't let them steal the two months.

864
00:42:46.840 --> 00:42:49.180
Just continue it out.

865
00:42:50.100 --> 00:42:54.760
You know, if you expect to not make it, you won't.

866
00:42:55.480 --> 00:42:58.920
If you expect to make it, you have a chance, right?

867
00:42:58.920 --> 00:43:00.240
Like, what, you know, I mean,

868
00:43:00.240 --> 00:43:02.000
and the other thing is, is focusing on it

869
00:43:02.000 --> 00:43:03.900
usually makes it worse

870
00:43:03.900 --> 00:43:05.720
because it's something that you're thinking about

871
00:43:05.720 --> 00:43:10.720
versus I'm going to transfer my desire.

872
00:43:10.800 --> 00:43:12.440
You know, I see where I get hung up

873
00:43:12.440 --> 00:43:14.280
and I'm going to fill it with something

874
00:43:14.280 --> 00:43:17.580
that is better and more worthwhile

875
00:43:17.580 --> 00:43:19.800
and that I don't want to turn to.

876
00:43:19.800 --> 00:43:21.760
So, and something I can focus on

877
00:43:21.760 --> 00:43:23.400
that's not going to take me down.

878
00:43:26.120 --> 00:43:28.280
And so one of the other things that was interesting

879
00:43:28.280 --> 00:43:29.120
that I, because I've been,

880
00:43:29.120 --> 00:43:30.680
I was kind of talking to her about like,

881
00:43:30.680 --> 00:43:31.600
what is she, like,

882
00:43:31.600 --> 00:43:34.100
what are the ladies she's dealing with looking for?

883
00:43:35.200 --> 00:43:37.940
What are, like, what are the, what is some,

884
00:43:37.940 --> 00:43:40.320
and one of the things was, is people that,

885
00:43:40.320 --> 00:43:41.160
they're like, you know,

886
00:43:41.160 --> 00:43:43.760
the guys that are working on themselves, right?

887
00:43:43.760 --> 00:43:45.360
And so you guys already qualify

888
00:43:45.360 --> 00:43:46.540
because you're in this group.

889
00:43:46.540 --> 00:43:47.480
You're doing the heart work.

890
00:43:47.480 --> 00:43:49.440
So that was, you know,

891
00:43:49.440 --> 00:43:52.840
so that's something that she was looking for, right?

892
00:43:52.840 --> 00:43:54.160
Spiritual leader.

893
00:43:54.160 --> 00:43:58.220
Now, she wanted to hear that I have this from six to seven,

894
00:43:58.220 --> 00:43:59.060
you know, I'm like, hey,

895
00:43:59.060 --> 00:44:01.980
my time with the Lord is all day long.

896
00:44:01.980 --> 00:44:03.820
You know, I mean, I don't really,

897
00:44:03.820 --> 00:44:06.740
I mean, I have a quiet time in the morning,

898
00:44:06.740 --> 00:44:08.480
but like, and so,

899
00:44:09.580 --> 00:44:13.380
but it's like, he's constantly speaking to me.

900
00:44:13.380 --> 00:44:14.220
But, you know, like,

901
00:44:14.220 --> 00:44:15.700
how are you doing with your spiritual,

902
00:44:15.700 --> 00:44:17.340
leading yourself spiritually?

903
00:44:17.340 --> 00:44:18.660
Because what she wants to know is,

904
00:44:18.660 --> 00:44:19.900
hey, how are you going to lead me?

905
00:44:19.900 --> 00:44:22.360
Can you lead yourself so you can lead me?

906
00:44:22.360 --> 00:44:23.260
And I just shared, like,

907
00:44:23.260 --> 00:44:24.440
these are things that I have literally

908
00:44:24.440 --> 00:44:26.480
had a conversation about today

909
00:44:26.480 --> 00:44:29.600
that I want when you guys get in your conversation,

910
00:44:29.600 --> 00:44:33.080
you can say, I'm freaking crushing it, right?

911
00:44:33.080 --> 00:44:35.880
And does that make sense to you guys?

912
00:44:35.880 --> 00:44:36.880
I hope it's helpful.

913
00:44:38.560 --> 00:44:39.640
It's good.

914
00:44:39.640 --> 00:44:41.440
You know, I mean, we need to be reminded.

915
00:44:41.440 --> 00:44:43.380
I need to be reminded, right?

916
00:44:43.380 --> 00:44:44.920
When she's like, what was, you know,

917
00:44:44.920 --> 00:44:46.480
like, when was the last time you used porn?

918
00:44:46.480 --> 00:44:49.760
And I was like, oh, you know, it was like six months ago.

919
00:44:49.760 --> 00:44:52.880
And I, it was on Instagram when I got smashed, right?

920
00:44:53.540 --> 00:44:57.780
And so, like, so, yeah.

921
00:44:57.780 --> 00:45:00.080
So, so anyways, like, we just.

922
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:08.880
It's just good to have a plan and to work it.

923
00:45:08.880 --> 00:45:11.520
And even in the waiting to be building, right?

924
00:45:11.520 --> 00:45:14.240
Can I add to that, Mike?

925
00:45:14.240 --> 00:45:15.240
Yeah.

926
00:45:15.240 --> 00:45:16.240
Go for it, dude.

927
00:45:16.240 --> 00:45:17.240
Shoot.

928
00:45:17.240 --> 00:45:18.240
All right.

929
00:45:18.240 --> 00:45:19.240
Sorry.

930
00:45:19.240 --> 00:45:20.240
It's really dark here.

931
00:45:20.240 --> 00:45:25.760
I look scary, probably.

932
00:45:25.760 --> 00:45:30.040
So yeah, I recently got out of the season of where I felt like the Lord just really

933
00:45:30.040 --> 00:45:35.360
challenged me to lay aside the dating app, and I was talking to a girl that I really

934
00:45:35.360 --> 00:45:36.360
enjoyed talking to.

935
00:45:36.360 --> 00:45:42.440
I just felt like the Lord, even prior to connecting with her, just lock in on me.

936
00:45:42.440 --> 00:45:46.240
He was inviting me to lock in on Him.

937
00:45:46.240 --> 00:45:52.680
And so over the course of a couple months of doing that, He really has brought me to

938
00:45:53.680 --> 00:45:57.320
He's done a really good work in me.

939
00:45:57.320 --> 00:46:01.960
And I was just thinking the other day, in the pursuit of love, we're all looking for

940
00:46:01.960 --> 00:46:04.960
love or a wife.

941
00:46:04.960 --> 00:46:12.200
First of all, Proverbs 19, verse 14 says, house and wealth are from fathers, but a prudent

942
00:46:12.200 --> 00:46:16.680
wife or a father-fashioned wife is from the Lord.

943
00:46:16.680 --> 00:46:21.360
Proverbs 31, 10 says, an excellent wife, who can find?

944
00:46:21.360 --> 00:46:29.480
I mean, you can't really find one without God's bringing her to you or help.

945
00:46:29.480 --> 00:46:35.720
And anyhow, I was just saying the other day, and I just wanted to float this idea, but

946
00:46:35.720 --> 00:46:41.560
I thought to myself, the 80-20 rule, and this isn't really using it in the same way, but

947
00:46:41.560 --> 00:46:50.640
I was like, in my pursuit of a wife, what if I spent 80% of my time just like growing

948
00:46:50.640 --> 00:46:57.240
in my relationship with the One who is love, and growing in my faith and trust and just

949
00:46:57.240 --> 00:47:04.440
hearing His voice and walking with Him, and then 20% of my energy in the pursuit of love,

950
00:47:04.440 --> 00:47:10.120
like actually looking for, connecting with and looking for and talking to and trying

951
00:47:10.120 --> 00:47:12.440
to meet a woman.

952
00:47:12.440 --> 00:47:20.120
And anyhow, I just, because like what Chris is dealing with right now, like the beautiful

953
00:47:20.120 --> 00:47:28.240
thing about sowing and investing into the relationship with God is like it pays dividends

954
00:47:28.240 --> 00:47:29.960
every time.

955
00:47:29.960 --> 00:47:36.680
Like he who trusts in the Lord will not be put to shame, like you're not gonna be disappointed.

956
00:47:36.680 --> 00:47:44.400
And I just love, like, because I've been relating to someone who is, not this girl I'm talking

957
00:47:44.400 --> 00:47:49.600
about, but like my neighbor who I've mentioned before, like she definitely is an avoidant

958
00:47:49.600 --> 00:47:51.000
for sure.

959
00:47:51.000 --> 00:47:56.280
And the Lord has taught me so much through that about like how I've been avoidant towards

960
00:47:56.280 --> 00:47:57.280
Him.

961
00:47:57.280 --> 00:48:02.640
You know, like she'll like not take me seriously, like I'll spend a lot of time like doing something

962
00:48:02.640 --> 00:48:03.640
for her.

963
00:48:03.640 --> 00:48:06.680
And Chris, what you were saying was reminding me of like what I've been through with this

964
00:48:06.680 --> 00:48:14.360
girl who lives nearby here, where like I know I spend way more time in the past over

965
00:48:14.360 --> 00:48:18.920
the last two years, like I've known her, I spend way more time thinking about her than

966
00:48:18.920 --> 00:48:21.440
she thought about me.

967
00:48:21.440 --> 00:48:25.040
Like her name's in my journal many times.

968
00:48:25.040 --> 00:48:32.880
And like I just sent her, just because I want closure with that relationship or that friendship,

969
00:48:33.880 --> 00:48:40.040
I sent her like a 24 minute voice message the other day, because I'm like trying, I'm

970
00:48:40.040 --> 00:48:44.440
in follow up for like a year ago when I asked her out and she never even like got back to

971
00:48:44.440 --> 00:48:45.440
me on that.

972
00:48:45.440 --> 00:48:51.680
Yet she wants to relate to me when, you know, on her time, when she's able to, when it's

973
00:48:51.680 --> 00:48:54.680
convenient for her, when she's up for it.

974
00:48:54.680 --> 00:49:04.040
And all I have to say is like, when we spend that same energy, focus on the Lord, like

975
00:49:04.040 --> 00:49:07.800
we get something out of it every time, every time.

976
00:49:07.800 --> 00:49:14.080
And we can chase these women around and spend a lot of our time doing that.

977
00:49:14.080 --> 00:49:16.280
And you know, part of that is just is what it is.

978
00:49:16.280 --> 00:49:18.760
Like we learn along the way and et cetera.

979
00:49:18.760 --> 00:49:24.840
But I just want to encourage anyone, this might be encouraging to someone listening,

980
00:49:24.840 --> 00:49:34.080
but like focusing on knowing the Lord in that relationship, like Jesus prayed in John 17

981
00:49:34.080 --> 00:49:38.480
that we would be with Him where He is and that we would see His glory.

982
00:49:38.480 --> 00:49:46.040
And you know, like taking Him up on that, like, or, you know, Revelation 320, you know,

983
00:49:46.040 --> 00:49:55.640
I'm not, he's speaking to a church that he just called blind, naked and poor, but to

984
00:49:55.640 --> 00:49:59.960
that same church, he's knocking on the door of their heart saying, I want to come in and

985
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:04.160
meet with you, and I want to encounter you.

986
00:50:04.160 --> 00:50:12.760
And anyhow, like Jesus is pursuing us, how much have we been an avoidant to him?

987
00:50:12.760 --> 00:50:22.280
And if we would like respond appropriately, like I produced that 24-minute message for

988
00:50:22.280 --> 00:50:23.280
her.

989
00:50:23.280 --> 00:50:24.640
Oh, I didn't finish that thought.

990
00:50:24.640 --> 00:50:27.200
She only listened to five minutes of it so far.

991
00:50:27.200 --> 00:50:31.200
She can't even take the time to listen to my voice message.

992
00:50:31.200 --> 00:50:34.560
It doesn't take any effort.

993
00:50:34.560 --> 00:50:39.640
And I sent that to her on Thursday, and I just saw her a little bit today, and she's

994
00:50:39.640 --> 00:50:40.880
like, oh yeah, I didn't listen to it.

995
00:50:40.880 --> 00:50:42.360
I'm like, you're the worst.

996
00:50:42.360 --> 00:50:44.200
I said, you're the worst.

997
00:50:44.200 --> 00:50:48.440
I mean, half-jokingly, she's like, I know.

998
00:50:48.440 --> 00:50:55.960
But we have the Bible from God, and how much have we been avoidant of what he has produced

999
00:50:55.960 --> 00:50:59.520
for us, what he has given to us?

1000
00:50:59.520 --> 00:51:02.960
We don't want to neglect this great salvation that he has provided for us.

1001
00:51:02.960 --> 00:51:03.960
So anyhow.

1002
00:51:03.960 --> 00:51:06.960
That's a really good point, Jesse.

1003
00:51:06.960 --> 00:51:15.360
Well, and it says, delight yourself in the Lord and heal the desires of your heart.

1004
00:51:15.360 --> 00:51:20.720
And that's really, honestly, he has brought me to that place.

1005
00:51:20.720 --> 00:51:25.640
Just focusing on him for the last two months exclusively, I am delighting him like I haven't

1006
00:51:26.320 --> 00:51:28.320
ever.

1007
00:51:28.320 --> 00:51:34.280
And the delight comes from the fact that I know more so now in my spirit like how much

1008
00:51:34.280 --> 00:51:40.600
he delights in me, and just enjoys me, and exalts over me.

1009
00:51:40.600 --> 00:51:47.640
And then that in turn causes me to just be more at peace and just feel closer to the

1010
00:51:47.640 --> 00:51:48.640
Lord.

1011
00:51:48.640 --> 00:51:51.840
And you know, like I feel like he wants to do more of that.

1012
00:51:51.840 --> 00:51:55.840
Like I'm contemplating like maybe locking in for a couple more months, you know, like

1013
00:51:55.840 --> 00:51:58.600
even to the end of the year, like it wouldn't be a waste.

1014
00:51:58.600 --> 00:52:01.960
Like it's guaranteed not to be a waste.

1015
00:52:01.960 --> 00:52:08.160
If you, you know, whatever you sow into that relationship, you're going to receive dividends

1016
00:52:08.160 --> 00:52:09.160
on.

1017
00:52:09.160 --> 00:52:11.680
It's not going to be a waste of time.

1018
00:52:11.680 --> 00:52:18.000
So anyhow, if anyone's stuck in a rut, that might be, you know, I would just encourage

1019
00:52:18.000 --> 00:52:19.000
you with that.

1020
00:52:19.160 --> 00:52:27.160
If there's someone who's pursuing you, you know, and maybe that's a way to get out of

1021
00:52:27.160 --> 00:52:29.680
any rut that you might be in or something.

1022
00:52:29.680 --> 00:52:31.240
That's super good.

1023
00:52:31.240 --> 00:52:34.200
And like, I stopped, stepped back from dating.

1024
00:52:34.200 --> 00:52:40.200
That was one of the reasons why I wasn't even thinking about asking her out, right?

1025
00:52:40.200 --> 00:52:46.640
And then all of a sudden, her friend's like tackling me for my number, right?

1026
00:52:46.640 --> 00:52:51.880
And I'm like, and so I was, and you guys, I immediately said, this is why it won't work

1027
00:52:51.880 --> 00:52:52.880
because I'm this.

1028
00:52:52.880 --> 00:52:53.880
And she's like this.

1029
00:52:53.880 --> 00:52:58.160
And I told her, I was like, you know, I didn't lead super well because I didn't figure, I

1030
00:52:58.160 --> 00:53:03.160
had, you know, I figured there was, there had to be something, you know, cause I'm like,

1031
00:53:03.160 --> 00:53:04.480
can you relocate people?

1032
00:53:04.480 --> 00:53:06.560
Most people who I talked to can't relocate.

1033
00:53:06.560 --> 00:53:08.360
She said, nope, yep, I can.

1034
00:53:08.360 --> 00:53:09.360
And I'm like, what?

1035
00:53:09.360 --> 00:53:11.760
Like, I figured that was the end, right?

1036
00:53:11.760 --> 00:53:15.040
And so then I was like, then this, then that, and she's like, no, we're good.

1037
00:53:15.120 --> 00:53:16.120
I'm like, are you okay?

1038
00:53:16.120 --> 00:53:17.440
Are you okay moving to San Jose?

1039
00:53:17.440 --> 00:53:19.160
She's like, yeah, absolutely.

1040
00:53:19.160 --> 00:53:21.080
I want to be a West Coast girl, right?

1041
00:53:21.080 --> 00:53:26.600
Like, so like, God can do some crazy things, but I just was, yeah, like you say, delighting

1042
00:53:26.600 --> 00:53:28.880
in him and just like, like, Lord, I'm going to delight in you.

1043
00:53:28.880 --> 00:53:29.880
You told me to get off the apps.

1044
00:53:29.880 --> 00:53:31.800
I'm going to be obedient on that.

1045
00:53:31.800 --> 00:53:35.920
I did say, I'm going to get off the apps, but if the Lord brings me somebody, I'm not

1046
00:53:35.920 --> 00:53:36.920
saying no.

1047
00:53:36.920 --> 00:53:37.920
Right?

1048
00:53:37.920 --> 00:53:43.320
Cause my friend's like, you need to get off the apps, but no, that's so good, Jesse.

1049
00:53:43.320 --> 00:53:47.480
And like, got to keep the, the one thing, the main thing, the main thing, the one thing,

1050
00:53:47.480 --> 00:53:54.680
the one thing, you know, you know, like, I forgot, it was Larry Randolph.

1051
00:53:54.680 --> 00:54:00.240
He's like, I just want Jesus, you know, you know, Jesus friends get to use the stuff and

1052
00:54:00.240 --> 00:54:03.160
they get what they need, but I just want to be with Jesus.

1053
00:54:03.160 --> 00:54:04.160
Right.

1054
00:54:04.160 --> 00:54:07.960
And so I just thought that was a profound way of looking at it.

1055
00:54:07.960 --> 00:54:09.200
Right.

1056
00:54:09.200 --> 00:54:11.200
So we've got like five minutes left.

1057
00:54:11.200 --> 00:54:13.960
Anybody else have something that they want to chat about?

1058
00:54:13.960 --> 00:54:18.960
They need to work through.

1059
00:54:18.960 --> 00:54:25.240
Oh, you guys, you want to, so, so sorry.

1060
00:54:25.240 --> 00:54:30.040
I just, I'm using a lot of the skills that I haven't used in a while, like on this new

1061
00:54:30.040 --> 00:54:31.360
relationship.

1062
00:54:31.360 --> 00:54:35.760
And one of the things is like, I asked her, I was like, can I take notes?

1063
00:54:35.760 --> 00:54:40.920
I was like, because like, I, well, we were on a FaceTime call.

1064
00:54:40.920 --> 00:54:43.200
So having a notepad is going to be visible.

1065
00:54:43.200 --> 00:54:47.920
Normally, if you're on a phone call, you can start a note conversation on your phone and

1066
00:54:47.920 --> 00:54:51.120
note things that are important to them, note things on their birthday, what their favorite

1067
00:54:51.120 --> 00:54:52.120
color is.

1068
00:54:52.120 --> 00:54:57.040
But like you guys, marriage is ultimately you getting a PhD in the person you're married

1069
00:54:57.040 --> 00:54:58.040
to.

1070
00:54:58.040 --> 00:54:59.520
You're getting a master's, right?

1071
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:04.040
So, out the gate when you start to date,

1072
00:55:04.040 --> 00:55:06.160
it's also part of cherishing.

1073
00:55:06.160 --> 00:55:07.620
I don't know, you guys, I don't know that word,

1074
00:55:07.620 --> 00:55:10.120
like, you know, people use it very often anymore.

1075
00:55:10.120 --> 00:55:12.600
There's loving people, but there's cherishing them.

1076
00:55:12.600 --> 00:55:14.800
Doing little things that make them feel cherished

1077
00:55:14.800 --> 00:55:17.240
and vastly loved.

1078
00:55:17.240 --> 00:55:20.660
And if you don't have a PhD in them,

1079
00:55:20.660 --> 00:55:23.000
it's gonna be hard for you, right?

1080
00:55:23.000 --> 00:55:25.320
And so, her favorite color's pink, right?

1081
00:55:25.320 --> 00:55:27.440
You know, her first best friend's Gabby.

1082
00:55:27.440 --> 00:55:29.760
Gabby's the one that chased me down, right?

1083
00:55:29.840 --> 00:55:33.640
And so, and you guys, I write it down in my notes

1084
00:55:33.640 --> 00:55:37.120
because it's important and I wanna remember it, right?

1085
00:55:37.120 --> 00:55:39.960
You know, the date that you met, right?

1086
00:55:39.960 --> 00:55:43.020
Remember that, how you met, write your story.

1087
00:55:43.020 --> 00:55:46.600
That way, you can look back and read your love story

1088
00:55:46.600 --> 00:55:48.060
to your kids and stuff, so.

1089
00:55:49.080 --> 00:55:50.920
I don't know, just a couple thoughts.

1090
00:55:50.920 --> 00:55:53.080
But like, one of the things I was like, oh, yeah.

1091
00:55:53.080 --> 00:55:56.160
And she was stunned, she's like, what, what do you mean?

1092
00:55:56.160 --> 00:55:57.760
She's like, you wanna take notes on me?

1093
00:55:57.760 --> 00:55:59.240
I was like, well, yeah, you're right.

1094
00:55:59.640 --> 00:56:01.560
I mean, like, if we're gonna go for this,

1095
00:56:01.560 --> 00:56:03.520
you're really important and I don't wanna miss a thing

1096
00:56:03.520 --> 00:56:04.980
and I don't wanna forget a thing.

1097
00:56:04.980 --> 00:56:06.320
She's like, well, you could always ask again.

1098
00:56:06.320 --> 00:56:09.020
I was like, no, I wanna be able to have it

1099
00:56:09.020 --> 00:56:11.240
to where I don't have to ask again so I can do it

1100
00:56:11.240 --> 00:56:13.120
and I can cherish you well, right?

1101
00:56:13.120 --> 00:56:14.800
So just little things.

1102
00:56:14.800 --> 00:56:18.360
You guys can move mountains, right?

1103
00:56:18.360 --> 00:56:22.500
Ultimately, you're looking for somebody who you can cherish

1104
00:56:22.500 --> 00:56:25.800
but also somebody who cherishes you, right?

1105
00:56:25.800 --> 00:56:28.400
And so, because it's a two-way street.

1106
00:56:28.400 --> 00:56:33.360
And like, so, the hot babe who is like,

1107
00:56:33.360 --> 00:56:37.760
hey, I'm hot, so therefore, you just need to deal with it.

1108
00:56:37.760 --> 00:56:39.980
I don't have to give anything in this relationship.

1109
00:56:39.980 --> 00:56:42.920
You can do that, but man, that's brutal, right?

1110
00:56:42.920 --> 00:56:45.240
You're a partner.

1111
00:56:45.240 --> 00:56:46.540
It's like, hey, you know.

1112
00:56:49.520 --> 00:56:50.360
Because what we were talking about,

1113
00:56:50.360 --> 00:56:52.800
what was so exciting for me is like,

1114
00:56:52.800 --> 00:56:56.600
I was like, hey, my life's kind of intense, right?

1115
00:56:56.600 --> 00:56:58.320
I do deliverance ministry.

1116
00:56:59.140 --> 00:57:01.120
And she's like, yeah, we use this version of this and that.

1117
00:57:01.120 --> 00:57:03.140
And I'm like, what?

1118
00:57:03.140 --> 00:57:05.240
Like, she's already doing it, guys, right?

1119
00:57:05.240 --> 00:57:06.840
You know, and so I laid the cart.

1120
00:57:06.840 --> 00:57:08.000
I'm like, oh, I'm like,

1121
00:57:08.000 --> 00:57:09.360
because people kind of get weirded out

1122
00:57:09.360 --> 00:57:12.160
when deliverance isn't for everybody, right?

1123
00:57:12.160 --> 00:57:15.160
And so, but may the Lord bring you all,

1124
00:57:15.160 --> 00:57:16.800
oh, shoot, are we got, we got,

1125
00:57:18.080 --> 00:57:23.080
last minute or two, anybody got anything else?

1126
00:57:24.280 --> 00:57:26.280
I just wanna make sure everybody's covered.

1127
00:57:27.120 --> 00:57:28.200
Hey, Matthew.

1128
00:57:30.400 --> 00:57:33.080
From the beginning, you were talking about suddenly,

1129
00:57:33.080 --> 00:57:35.280
and I got a testimony.

1130
00:57:35.280 --> 00:57:36.760
Okay, cool.

1131
00:57:36.760 --> 00:57:40.160
So for those that don't know,

1132
00:57:40.160 --> 00:57:43.240
about six months after I joined last year's single,

1133
00:57:43.240 --> 00:57:45.480
I lost everything, literally everything.

1134
00:57:45.480 --> 00:57:48.320
I've been at my job, my church,

1135
00:57:48.320 --> 00:57:50.800
and I've been juggling for the last two years,

1136
00:57:50.800 --> 00:57:53.040
looking for a full-time job.

1137
00:57:53.040 --> 00:57:56.200
And suddenly I got an email

1138
00:57:56.760 --> 00:57:58.200
wanting to schedule an interview,

1139
00:57:58.200 --> 00:58:00.840
and I'm looking and I'm looking through all my files,

1140
00:58:00.840 --> 00:58:04.000
through CLAWD and through ChatGPT.

1141
00:58:04.000 --> 00:58:05.840
I never applied for this.

1142
00:58:05.840 --> 00:58:10.560
And they actually said, can we see your resume?

1143
00:58:10.560 --> 00:58:12.840
And the only contact, and I sent it over,

1144
00:58:12.840 --> 00:58:14.360
after we scheduled the interview,

1145
00:58:14.360 --> 00:58:15.600
they asked for my resume.

1146
00:58:16.680 --> 00:58:20.400
And I'm going, and I saw, when I looked up the company,

1147
00:58:20.400 --> 00:58:25.400
I saw that my administrator from my film school

1148
00:58:25.920 --> 00:58:27.960
tagged my name, and that was, I guess,

1149
00:58:27.960 --> 00:58:30.320
the only contact that they had on me.

1150
00:58:30.320 --> 00:58:31.520
So we did the interview,

1151
00:58:31.520 --> 00:58:35.640
and it's a short-term freelance job,

1152
00:58:35.640 --> 00:58:39.400
but the daily pay is equal to my weekly pay right now.

1153
00:58:39.400 --> 00:58:41.080
Holy cow, wow.

1154
00:58:41.080 --> 00:58:44.560
So I said, okay, well, who else do you need to talk to?

1155
00:58:44.560 --> 00:58:47.760
And when I'm closing it up, what's the hiring process?

1156
00:58:47.760 --> 00:58:50.600
They said, just schedule, write these dates down

1157
00:58:50.600 --> 00:58:52.120
that we need you for.

1158
00:58:52.120 --> 00:58:54.520
I said, so, and this was my only red flag.

1159
00:58:54.520 --> 00:58:57.800
I said, okay, well, let me go ahead and put in notice,

1160
00:58:57.800 --> 00:58:59.800
at least for an LOA for my other job.

1161
00:58:59.800 --> 00:59:02.040
And they said, well, we wanna make sure

1162
00:59:02.040 --> 00:59:03.520
that this job's gonna happen.

1163
00:59:03.520 --> 00:59:05.840
So I don't want you putting time away,

1164
00:59:05.840 --> 00:59:08.680
and then not being able to,

1165
00:59:08.680 --> 00:59:10.840
and then we don't have the job for you.

1166
00:59:10.840 --> 00:59:14.280
But everything went well, we really wanna work with you,

1167
00:59:14.280 --> 00:59:15.600
and give us a couple of weeks,

1168
00:59:15.600 --> 00:59:18.840
and the job will be from August 17th, September 25th,

1169
00:59:18.840 --> 00:59:19.840
and then we'll take it from there.

1170
00:59:19.840 --> 00:59:22.800
It's like working black commercials and production,

1171
00:59:22.920 --> 00:59:26.520
which I've been doing for eight years now.

1172
00:59:26.520 --> 00:59:30.000
But just the suddenly that this just happens

1173
00:59:30.000 --> 00:59:34.080
out of the blue, applying for hundreds of jobs

1174
00:59:34.080 --> 00:59:35.000
over the last few years,

1175
00:59:35.000 --> 00:59:38.120
and this one that I never applied for just comes up.

1176
00:59:38.120 --> 00:59:43.120
Yeah, dude, I got a date with an amazing woman.

1177
00:59:43.280 --> 00:59:46.960
I mean, I'm courting a woman who is stunning,

1178
00:59:46.960 --> 00:59:48.880
is a high value, high character,

1179
00:59:48.880 --> 00:59:50.600
everything I'm looking for.

1180
00:59:50.640 --> 00:59:53.120
And it was her best friend literally pulling me over

1181
00:59:53.120 --> 00:59:55.000
on the side of the road to do it.

1182
00:59:55.000 --> 00:59:56.400
It was a suddenly.

1183
00:59:56.400 --> 01:00:00.200
So, Matthew, can you do it?

1184
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:04.720
Pray that blessing over the guys. I mean, I've already done it, but can you just make it be like

1185
01:00:04.720 --> 01:00:09.680
a double team and like pray for sudden leads for people? Are you familiar? Are you okay with that?

1186
01:00:10.720 --> 01:00:16.640
Yeah, sure. So I just want to lift everybody up on this call, everybody who's going to be

1187
01:00:16.640 --> 01:00:23.040
listening to and replay that God's going to bless you, that you're going to see things happen that

1188
01:00:23.040 --> 01:00:27.760
you weren't expecting, things that you've been waiting for, your breakthroughs, everybody that's

1189
01:00:27.760 --> 01:00:32.880
looking for things, whether it's your spirit mate right now or anything else in your life that

1190
01:00:32.880 --> 01:00:39.280
you've been praying for. May God bless you and keep you and hold you tight in Jesus name. Amen.

1191
01:00:39.280 --> 01:00:43.520
Beautiful, bro. Beautiful. Thank you. Hey, gentlemen, you're amazing. You're studs,

1192
01:00:43.520 --> 01:00:49.200
you're already doing it. Just take a little step this week in preparing yourself, would you?

1193
01:00:49.200 --> 01:00:55.120
Just one thing, like, you know what, I'm going to get, I'm going to do this and then you'll get to

1194
01:00:55.120 --> 01:01:00.240
be the man you are meant to be and supposed to be, and it can be for your spirit mate.

1195
01:01:00.240 --> 01:01:06.400
Love you all, dude. You guys are all awesome. I'm proud of you. Go with God. Have a good night.

1196
01:01:06.400 --> 01:01:09.760
You too. See you later.