WEBVTT

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All right.

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I would love to know what is the biggest breakthrough that you got during this book club?

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Go ahead and put it in the chat.

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What was your aha moment?

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What was the thing that you think is going to, the thing that you think is going to serve

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you the best out there in the dating world?

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Let's see that tonight is our last night together.

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And so I want to make sure that we are jumping in strong.

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We're going to do a Q and a here.

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So if you had questions that you want answers to just hang tight, we're going to have all

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of that in just a few minutes.

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All right.

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All right.

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Patterns.

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People are like, I'm learning my patterns.

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I'm learning about myself.

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It's important.

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You guys got to take a good look at ourselves because otherwise you're just going to blame

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everything on everybody else, right?

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Everybody else's fault.

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It's not our fault.

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It's everybody else's fault.

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Learned my scripts.

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Learn what scripts you're running.

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And you guys remember those five scripts are not all in all.

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They're not all encompassing, but you're probably running a script similar to those five, right?

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It's similar.

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For instance, the independence, it could also be a boss babe script gentlemen that the independent

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script can also be, you know, I just, I'm not there yet.

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I'm not ready to have a dependent.

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I can't have a dependent.

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A lot of men think of women as a dependent, right?

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And because of that, a lot of men don't think that there are to a place in their life or

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they used to be to a place in their life and then something happened.

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They had a health concern, possibly they got married and then they got divorced and now

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they think that they're not in a place where they can have a dependent again.

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But I just want to let you know that a marriage is not about dependence.

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I know that's what we say on our tax forms, but it's not about dependence.

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In fact, gentlemen, I'm going to tell you something kind of shocking, but I'm going

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to go ahead and say it out loud because I think it's important.

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A red flag when you're dating is a woman who's broke.

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I know we say that the other way around.

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We're like, Oh, Hey, you know, let's not date broke men.

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And that is true.

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Do not date broke men.

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Do not date people who cannot be financially responsible.

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Now, case in point, there are people that when you meet them, they may be going through

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a rough season.

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And so you don't look just at what's happening here.

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If they match your non-negotiables, if you have really great compatibility, if they are

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marriage minded and they're going through a rough place in their life, maybe they had

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a divorce and because of that, they had a bankruptcy.

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Perhaps they lost a job.

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Maybe their job was replaced by AI just recently.

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And now they're trying to figure out how to make it go because the job that they have,

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the thing that they went to college to do no longer exists.

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And so now they're trying to figure out how to reframe themselves in the workplace.

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It's not about someone having a rough spot.

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It's about a history of your responsibility.

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It's about a history of mismanagement.

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And that's not something that you can see right away.

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That's something that you're only going to find out about in small increments.

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And so that's why it's really important that we are not giving people the rest of our lives

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in the first 30 days.

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We're giving people the next 30 days in the first 30 days.

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Does that make sense to everybody?

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Please don't be getting engaged after 30 days.

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This doesn't usually end up well.

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It doesn't go well.

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The first 30 days, you are just taking in data, taking in data, enjoying yourself, getting

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to know the person.

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The next 30 days is when you really start to dig in with the harder questions.

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Like, hey, why do you drive a Pontiac from 1995?

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Why is that your car?

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And you might find out like my husband, it sounds like a joke, but this is really true.

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My husband was driving this car that he bought with cash because he went through a divorce.

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And when he went through a divorce, his cars got repossessed.

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Because guess what?

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In order to live above your means to the level that they were living above their means, you

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need both incomes, not just one.

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And so when they lost a two-income household, they also lost their cars and their big house.

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It got foreclosed upon.

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They filed for bankruptcy.

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They were young and they were dumb and they bought into the American dream of living above

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your means.

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And it wasn't good.

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Now, my husband's not like that anymore, but he was in his mid thirties when I met him.

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He had gone through a divorce two years earlier and he had to buy a car with cash.

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And so he was driving a 1990 something Pontiac.

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Or was it a Buick?

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I don't remember, but it was ugly.

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It was like a little old man car.

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And it had like, you guys, you know a car is old

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when the seats look like the couch in your house.

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You know, when it has that level of comfort.

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You guys remember the old cars?

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It's like, they wanted to put the couch

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from our house in these cars in the 70s, 80s, even 90s.

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And so that kind of really thick velour seats,

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you know, that feel like your barco lounge

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or your lazy boy at home.

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Anyway, you're not going to be asking those harder questions

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until the first 30 days.

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But going back to my original statement,

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it is a red flag if someone is broke

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and that is their MO, okay?

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They don't have money.

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I always say this,

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gentlemen, if you don't have money to treat a woman

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to a lunch or a, you know, a respectable dinner,

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it doesn't have to be a five-star Michelin restaurant.

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And if she wants that, next, that's a red flag.

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That's a huge red flag, okay?

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And so, you know, in order for her to be a gold digger,

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you got to have some gold to dig.

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So you probably, you know, but at the same time,

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those are red flags if that happens.

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But if you don't have enough money

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to at least be chivalrous and offer to pay for the date,

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then you probably shouldn't be dating.

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Ladies, same thing.

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If a man, you could be out with a man and he can say,

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hey, you know, I want to go half, I want to go Dutch.

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And if you don't have the money to pay for half your meal,

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instead of, you know, cussing him up and down the street,

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you should ask yourself, why don't I have half to pay?

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Why don't I have the money to pay for half my meal?

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Not that most men ask that, but I'm just saying,

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if you don't have any money,

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that means that you're probably thinking

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a man is your financial plan.

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A man is the meal plan for the future.

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And guess what?

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We don't live in those days anymore.

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This is not the 1920s, it's the 2020s.

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And women have jobs now.

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And so you gotta be financially responsible.

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You need to be out there earning your own money.

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Most men that are healthy want to partner with a woman

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who has something going in her life.

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Not because they want to live off you,

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but because they want to partner and build with you.

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And if you're not someone that can partner and build,

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because you've not shown that in your own personal life,

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then that's a red flag.

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And that's what I coach my men.

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You don't want a woman who just wants to live off of you

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and is just waiting for a man to come and marry her

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so that she doesn't have to worry about money anymore.

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That is not, that's not it in 2026.

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Even if you do decide to stay home, ladies,

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you're in that age bracket

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where you want to stay home and have babies.

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Even if you do, you should have something to show

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for your life before you get partnered.

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Okay, you're not teenagers, you're not college age people.

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You should have something to show for your life.

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And if you don't, that is the first thing

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when you get out of this book club

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that you should start working on.

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You should start working on building your own life

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to a place that someone would want to partner with it.

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Because I can tell you this,

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just in the last month I've helped bail two women out

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of toxic, abusive marriages,

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and they did not have the money to leave those marriages.

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They had little children,

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they didn't have any money of their own.

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The man had all the money.

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He was the breadwinner, he was the provider,

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and they had no money.

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They didn't have money for a lawyer to fight for custody.

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They didn't have money for an apartment.

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They didn't have money for a deposit on an apartment.

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They didn't have family to help them.

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They went into those marriages, into those situations,

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thinking that, you know,

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oh, this man's just gonna take care of me.

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Well, until he doesn't.

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So it's only protecting you

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to make sure that you have your own things, your own money.

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And people ask me this often,

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so I'm gonna go ahead and insert this here.

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When you get married later in life,

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and I mean old enough to have had a career,

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old enough to have some assets of your own,

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I'm 100% for prenuptial agreements.

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I'm 100% for them.

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If you've built something of your own,

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especially if you have children,

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make sure that you have a trust.

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Make sure that you have a prenup.

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If you have something and the other person's coming in

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with hardly anything, whether it's a man or a woman,

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you might have more ladies than the guy that you're marrying.

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Yeah, he's a hard worker, he's a diligent man.

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You just make more than him

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because you have a career that pulls down six figures

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and he doesn't.

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He has like more of a blue collar career and that's fine.

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And you know what?

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Blue collar careers are gonna start skyrocketing

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now that we're in AI world.

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The plumbers and the electricians,

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ladies, if you never looked at blue collar guys before

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because you're like, no, I want a white collar guy,

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think again.

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You better go get you a hard working man.

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You better go get you a man that knows how to build things

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and he's a construction man

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and he owns something and does something.

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You know, if nothing else, he can build you a house

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when the whole world goes crazy out here

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because I'm on the cutting edge of AI.

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I have a company that works with the people

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that create the AI in other countries.

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like Thailand and Japan and Singapore. And I'm telling you guys, we ain't seen nothing yet.

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And so blue workers, blue collar workers. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Invest in that. That is good.

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But once again, prenuptial agreements, I'm not against them at all.

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You guys can, if, if, if God forbid, you end up getting divorced and people do,

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people do get divorced. If God forbid you get divorced and you can split whatever you

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created together and built together in the marriage, but whatever you built before you

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got into the marriage, I don't think there's anything wrong with protecting that. And

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if someone gets upset about that, I think that they, I think that you need to take a look at

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that. That's a yellow flag for me. That's a yellow flag. If someone wants to get married to you

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and have access to everything that you have ever built, just carte blanche, not that they're not

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going to have access during the marriage, but if you guys got divorced, they would want to have

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access to everything that you built. Cause remember prenups don't come into play unless

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you get divorced. And so they shouldn't have any problems signing that because they're not going

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in thinking that you're going to get divorced. And why would they want access to everything that

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you built? If they're not going to be with you, that doesn't make any sense. All right. So if you

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disagree with that, you're allowed to disagree with me, but I will tell you a lot of people

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ask me about that. So I want to make sure that I weigh in on that. Okay. Jackie, so you're okay.

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If you have like a joint account and then a separate account of your own money, if you're

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like getting married with money or have like, or just the security of having your own money.

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No, good question. Daria, my, when I say prenuptial friends, I'm not talking about

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separate accounts and spending money willy nilly. Look, you need to be able to, you know,

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merge households and merge money. I'm talking about assets. So if you have houses, if you have

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properties, if you have a 401k, if you have an inheritance, if you were married before and your

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husband or wife passed away and you have their pension or you have, you know, life insurance or

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whatever it is, you don't have to. I'm not saying you don't share that during the marriage or,

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you know, use that money to buy things in the marriage or different things. I'm talking about,

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if you get divorced, you have a piece of paper that you both signed before you get married,

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that says that if you get divorced, all that stuff that you came into the marriage with,

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whatever's left of it and whatever you haven't used, it's yours. They don't get any of it.

246
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Okay. That's what I'm talking about. Now I do know marriages that have, um, you know,

247
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joint account and then separate accounts and those marriages that I know, that I know that

248
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have that, I'm sure there are people maybe that do that well and they get along well,

249
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but the people that I know that have that, they're kind of have one foot out the door

250
00:12:54.400 --> 00:12:59.120
in their marriages. You know, they've never really learned to trust each other. Cause remember,

251
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this isn't about trusting, protecting assets is not about trusting because that prenup

252
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only comes into play. If you should not continue to be married now in the marriage,

253
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I think that you should definitely, you know, provide for each other and help the marriage

254
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succeed in whatever financial way that needs to happen. Okay. Hopefully that clears that up.

255
00:13:20.000 --> 00:13:25.120
All right. I'm not going to take Q and a first yet because I got off on a tangent here,

256
00:13:25.120 --> 00:13:31.680
but I want to talk about becoming the matchmaker. Um, someone's like, I don't have anything,

257
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so I don't need a prenup. I don't have nothing. And that's fine. If you don't

258
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have anything that you think you want to keep, if the marriage didn't work out,

259
00:13:43.040 --> 00:13:46.800
if my man has tons of money, where do I sign? Y'all are, y'all are silly.

260
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I just updated my trust. You guys trusts are great. Especially if you have children or

261
00:13:51.520 --> 00:13:57.440
grandchildren trusts are really wonderful. Look into that. Um, okay. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Okay.

262
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Going back up to the things that people learn. Sorry. I'm on such a little computer tonight.

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People enjoy the break from the apps. You had permission to get off those apps and be like,

264
00:14:12.400 --> 00:14:16.960
no. And here's the thing. You don't have to get back on the apps just because the book club is

265
00:14:16.960 --> 00:14:22.320
over. If you've enjoyed being off the apps, if your nervous system is regulated, if you feel

266
00:14:22.320 --> 00:14:28.160
more hopeful than you did before, stay off the apps. You absolutely don't have to get back on

267
00:14:28.160 --> 00:14:32.720
them. In fact, it's summertime. And so the more that you can get in person with people, the more

268
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people that you can meet up with in person, I think the better. And so I'm 100% for you staying

269
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off the apps. If that felt really good to you. All right, let's talk about, well, first of all,

270
00:14:44.960 --> 00:14:52.000
I want to go ahead and tell you guys this in your email, either tonight or tomorrow,

271
00:14:52.800 --> 00:14:56.800
you're going to get a rollover email. For those of you that are not in last year single,

272
00:14:56.800 --> 00:14:59.840
but you want to join. And let me tell you what, it's never been a better time to join.

273
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:04.400
We're close to 2,000 success stories in the last six years,

274
00:15:04.400 --> 00:15:07.020
and we are coming out with a whole new program

275
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that includes community-based matchmaking.

276
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It's an app.

277
00:15:10.180 --> 00:15:11.420
It's not like a dating app.

278
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It's completely different.

279
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And we're gonna talk about you being the matchmaker

280
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for yourself and for others tonight.

281
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This is the last part of the book club,

282
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but it's gonna help you to do that.

283
00:15:20.260 --> 00:15:21.860
It's gonna help you do that in real time,

284
00:15:21.860 --> 00:15:23.260
and I'm just so excited about it.

285
00:15:23.260 --> 00:15:28.260
We had a two-day meeting, all day, both days, last week,

286
00:15:28.580 --> 00:15:30.620
getting all the final bells and whistles ready

287
00:15:30.620 --> 00:15:33.780
for that new era of last year's single,

288
00:15:33.780 --> 00:15:35.220
and I'm so excited about it.

289
00:15:35.220 --> 00:15:38.180
So you guys get, you don't have to pay $297

290
00:15:38.180 --> 00:15:39.920
to join the program, and here's a little hint.

291
00:15:39.920 --> 00:15:41.580
It's gonna go up to $497,

292
00:15:41.580 --> 00:15:46.580
and so you get to go in for $37, $37.

293
00:15:46.580 --> 00:15:49.700
And listen, if you don't like it, you can quit,

294
00:15:49.700 --> 00:15:52.100
and you don't ever have to pay another $37,

295
00:15:52.100 --> 00:15:54.580
but you're gonna like it, aren't they, Cheryl?

296
00:15:54.580 --> 00:15:56.020
They're gonna love it.

297
00:15:56.020 --> 00:15:57.940
They're never gonna wanna leave.

298
00:15:58.620 --> 00:15:59.820
Allison's like, yes, I'm there.

299
00:15:59.820 --> 00:16:00.860
I'm in last year's single.

300
00:16:00.860 --> 00:16:02.060
Let me see the hands of the people

301
00:16:02.060 --> 00:16:04.780
that are currently in last year's single.

302
00:16:04.780 --> 00:16:06.220
And you're like, and remember, you guys,

303
00:16:06.220 --> 00:16:08.420
this new era belongs to you guys, too.

304
00:16:08.420 --> 00:16:10.740
What I'm talking about is all for you as well.

305
00:16:10.740 --> 00:16:12.280
It's not just for the newbies,

306
00:16:12.280 --> 00:16:13.740
but look at all these hands.

307
00:16:15.060 --> 00:16:18.160
Look at all these hands, all right.

308
00:16:18.160 --> 00:16:21.140
So you guys, the more the merrier,

309
00:16:21.140 --> 00:16:24.100
and especially with this new era, the more the merrier,

310
00:16:24.100 --> 00:16:26.900
because I believe that somebody knows somebody

311
00:16:26.900 --> 00:16:29.460
who knows someone who knows your spirit mate.

312
00:16:29.460 --> 00:16:32.020
And the only way that we're going to cause

313
00:16:32.020 --> 00:16:34.020
the tsunami wave of marriages

314
00:16:34.020 --> 00:16:36.580
that God showed me back in 2020,

315
00:16:36.580 --> 00:16:38.740
2000 is great, but it's not enough for me.

316
00:16:38.740 --> 00:16:39.580
I'm greedy.

317
00:16:40.740 --> 00:16:42.260
I wanna see everybody get married.

318
00:16:42.260 --> 00:16:44.340
I wanna see everybody have a love story.

319
00:16:44.340 --> 00:16:45.880
I will never settle.

320
00:16:45.880 --> 00:16:48.180
People are like, Jackie, that's the most amazing thing.

321
00:16:48.180 --> 00:16:50.140
That's so many success stories.

322
00:16:50.140 --> 00:16:52.460
They're like, wow, and I'm like, yeah, that's great.

323
00:16:52.460 --> 00:16:54.220
I want more.

324
00:16:54.220 --> 00:16:55.060
I want more.

325
00:16:55.060 --> 00:16:56.540
I've gotta have more.

326
00:16:57.180 --> 00:16:58.480
I got this today, you guys.

327
00:16:59.980 --> 00:17:01.300
I want more of this.

328
00:17:01.300 --> 00:17:02.460
I'm just addicted to it.

329
00:17:02.460 --> 00:17:04.740
I can't help myself.

330
00:17:04.740 --> 00:17:05.579
I'm gonna show you.

331
00:17:05.579 --> 00:17:08.240
I just got this right before I came on here.

332
00:17:11.359 --> 00:17:12.819
See if you guys can see that.

333
00:17:13.940 --> 00:17:16.140
This couple just got married over the weekend.

334
00:17:16.140 --> 00:17:18.819
You guys, we had two couples get married this weekend.

335
00:17:18.819 --> 00:17:20.980
So this couple, Johanna and Steven,

336
00:17:20.980 --> 00:17:22.859
they just got married over the weekend.

337
00:17:22.859 --> 00:17:24.480
And their little sign that they're holding up

338
00:17:24.480 --> 00:17:26.040
in their wedding picture says,

339
00:17:26.040 --> 00:17:30.680
thank you, Jackie and David and team.

340
00:17:30.680 --> 00:17:33.280
Cheryl, thank you.

341
00:17:33.280 --> 00:17:36.880
You guys, I want more of this.

342
00:17:36.880 --> 00:17:38.220
I wanna be invited to your wedding.

343
00:17:38.220 --> 00:17:40.080
I'm not gonna come because I can't.

344
00:17:40.080 --> 00:17:43.480
I can't go to all the weddings, but I wanna be invited.

345
00:17:43.480 --> 00:17:46.800
You can send me a piece of cake in the mail, all right?

346
00:17:46.800 --> 00:17:48.720
I do keep all the wedding invitations.

347
00:17:48.720 --> 00:17:51.820
I have them in a shoe box and I just,

348
00:17:53.080 --> 00:17:54.320
I love it, you guys.

349
00:17:55.160 --> 00:17:56.000
I love it.

350
00:17:56.000 --> 00:17:57.680
I can't think of doing anything more rewarding with my life

351
00:17:57.680 --> 00:17:58.760
and I'm gonna start crying.

352
00:17:58.760 --> 00:18:02.900
I want you to have the lineage and the legacy

353
00:18:02.900 --> 00:18:04.520
that God created you to have.

354
00:18:04.520 --> 00:18:06.600
And I'm gonna fight for it.

355
00:18:06.600 --> 00:18:08.920
I'm gonna fight for it for you and with you.

356
00:18:08.920 --> 00:18:13.220
And we're gonna see that tsunami wave of revival marriages,

357
00:18:13.220 --> 00:18:16.080
kingdom, and kingdom marriage and family

358
00:18:16.080 --> 00:18:17.360
restored in the earth.

359
00:18:17.360 --> 00:18:18.200
We're gonna see it.

360
00:18:18.200 --> 00:18:19.880
Did you guys know, I just saw the study

361
00:18:19.880 --> 00:18:21.820
that just came out a few days ago.

362
00:18:21.820 --> 00:18:24.920
By the year 2030, that's just four years from now,

363
00:18:26.440 --> 00:18:29.980
millennials, people 25 to 45 right now

364
00:18:29.980 --> 00:18:33.700
are going to be over 50% single.

365
00:18:36.420 --> 00:18:37.380
It's a real thing.

366
00:18:39.060 --> 00:18:42.380
And the amount of single people of every generation,

367
00:18:42.380 --> 00:18:45.940
you know, boomers, Gen X, millennials, Gen Z,

368
00:18:45.940 --> 00:18:48.940
the amount of single adults has never been higher

369
00:18:48.940 --> 00:18:53.100
in the history of humankind, okay?

370
00:18:53.100 --> 00:18:55.740
And so it's really important that we understand

371
00:18:55.740 --> 00:19:00.180
that remember, remember book club session one,

372
00:19:00.180 --> 00:19:04.260
we're not fighting something inside of ourselves

373
00:19:04.260 --> 00:19:05.780
as much as we're fighting a system,

374
00:19:05.780 --> 00:19:07.700
a system that we inherited,

375
00:19:07.700 --> 00:19:10.340
and that together, if we will work together,

376
00:19:10.340 --> 00:19:12.000
we can overcome.

377
00:19:12.000 --> 00:19:13.920
We can overcome it together.

378
00:19:13.920 --> 00:19:16.820
But we have to share our opportunities with each other.

379
00:19:16.820 --> 00:19:18.220
So if you get a date, this is what,

380
00:19:18.220 --> 00:19:19.460
here's your new motto, okay?

381
00:19:19.460 --> 00:19:20.860
We're gonna talk about being the matchmaker.

382
00:19:20.860 --> 00:19:22.980
Remember, look for that rollover email.

383
00:19:22.980 --> 00:19:24.540
If you don't get it, you can email us,

384
00:19:24.540 --> 00:19:28.300
admin at JackieDorman.com, and we will send it to you.

385
00:19:28.300 --> 00:19:30.400
That offer is only gonna be good

386
00:19:30.400 --> 00:19:32.180
through the weekend, through Sunday,

387
00:19:32.180 --> 00:19:34.700
and that is when we'll also close your book club.

388
00:19:34.700 --> 00:19:37.720
So not the materials.

389
00:19:37.720 --> 00:19:39.540
You'll have access to those for another,

390
00:19:39.540 --> 00:19:42.260
is it 60 or 30 days, Cheryl, 30?

391
00:19:42.260 --> 00:19:43.300
60.

392
00:19:43.300 --> 00:19:44.140
60.

393
00:19:44.140 --> 00:19:44.980
So you'll have access to that,

394
00:19:44.980 --> 00:19:48.300
but I'll stop answering questions this weekend.

395
00:19:48.300 --> 00:19:49.940
So get all your coaching questions in.

396
00:19:49.940 --> 00:19:51.920
I'll continue to answer them through Sunday,

397
00:19:51.920 --> 00:19:54.540
and that is also when that rollover offer

398
00:19:54.540 --> 00:19:56.820
will be off the table, okay?

399
00:19:56.820 --> 00:19:58.820
So make sure, 37 bucks, you guys.

400
00:19:58.820 --> 00:19:59.780
Cancel any time.

401
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:02.440
Love it. You're going to roll right over into last year's single,

402
00:20:02.440 --> 00:20:04.320
which means that app that you're on for book club,

403
00:20:04.560 --> 00:20:07.840
you're going to all of a sudden other things are going to pop up that have been

404
00:20:07.860 --> 00:20:09.440
there all the time, but you couldn't see them.

405
00:20:09.800 --> 00:20:14.000
Other little groups are going to pop up for your heart work and to go into

406
00:20:14.020 --> 00:20:17.320
supernatural Saturday and all the different things. And so, um,

407
00:20:17.360 --> 00:20:19.640
really take advantage of that if you can.

408
00:20:19.800 --> 00:20:23.240
So let's talk about being the matchmaker. Here's your new model.

409
00:20:23.240 --> 00:20:24.240
Ready to write it down.

410
00:20:24.240 --> 00:20:29.240
You're going to play matchmaker for yourself with all of the things that you

411
00:20:31.560 --> 00:20:32.960
learned in the book, in the book club,

412
00:20:33.960 --> 00:20:35.760
you're going to go by your non-negotiables.

413
00:20:35.760 --> 00:20:38.080
You're not going to be afraid to just say, yeah,

414
00:20:38.100 --> 00:20:41.120
this person's not right for me, but if this person's good,

415
00:20:41.400 --> 00:20:46.000
then here's your motto. Get one, share one. I'm not talking about polygamy.

416
00:20:49.640 --> 00:20:54.040
It's just a joke. And I talk about polygamy. Will's like, dang it.

417
00:20:54.400 --> 00:20:58.160
Now listen, I have never met a sane man who wanted more than one wife.

418
00:21:01.480 --> 00:21:02.520
One is plenty.

419
00:21:04.720 --> 00:21:08.840
One is plenty. Women,

420
00:21:09.120 --> 00:21:12.800
women can be a lot. Okay. So get one, share one refers to this.

421
00:21:12.800 --> 00:21:15.920
If you go on a date and you apply everything you've learned here,

422
00:21:16.200 --> 00:21:19.080
and you still know at some point, maybe it's not the first date,

423
00:21:19.080 --> 00:21:22.640
maybe it's not the third date, but somewhere in there, you know,

424
00:21:22.640 --> 00:21:24.680
this person is not going to be my person.

425
00:21:24.720 --> 00:21:28.040
I'm not going to end up married to this person. You're not gonna,

426
00:21:28.080 --> 00:21:31.040
no longer are you guys going to start keeping relationships?

427
00:21:31.040 --> 00:21:32.640
Cause you have a scarcity mentality.

428
00:21:32.640 --> 00:21:35.400
You're not going to get into gray zones with people that you're not compatible

429
00:21:35.400 --> 00:21:38.320
with. But if you really think this person's a quality person,

430
00:21:38.960 --> 00:21:43.080
I want you to think of someone else that you can share their contact with,

431
00:21:43.440 --> 00:21:46.760
that you can introduce them to all of you should have read through the end of

432
00:21:46.760 --> 00:21:50.320
the book. So you see how to do it, how to make a warm introduction,

433
00:21:50.720 --> 00:21:52.160
how to make a good introduction.

434
00:21:52.440 --> 00:21:55.680
What is the criteria making a good introduction? So get one, share one,

435
00:21:55.680 --> 00:21:59.080
get a date. If it doesn't work out for you, share that date.

436
00:21:59.320 --> 00:22:02.640
You might know on date one that they're not right for you. You're like, okay,

437
00:22:02.640 --> 00:22:04.560
Jackie, what's the scenario that on date one,

438
00:22:04.560 --> 00:22:09.280
I wouldn't even give them a date to if they're 10 inches

439
00:22:09.280 --> 00:22:10.200
shorter than you.

440
00:22:13.520 --> 00:22:17.320
I mean, I'm all for marrying a short King, but we have our limits ladies.

441
00:22:17.360 --> 00:22:20.880
I'm five 10. Okay. I married a man who was five, eight,

442
00:22:21.800 --> 00:22:25.520
but he's stocky. He's stocky. So I still feel like a girl. Okay.

443
00:22:25.880 --> 00:22:30.320
But I couldn't go to five, six. Someone might be able to,

444
00:22:30.400 --> 00:22:34.240
but not me. What's another deal breaker on date one. And you're like, Jackie,

445
00:22:34.240 --> 00:22:36.240
that's a preference. Not really a preference.

446
00:22:36.240 --> 00:22:40.640
I can't go around looking like I'm someone's mama. That's not,

447
00:22:40.840 --> 00:22:44.000
that's not right. I can't do that. Okay. Um,

448
00:22:44.040 --> 00:22:48.600
another thing would be you meet them and you realize that they have,

449
00:22:48.960 --> 00:22:50.920
you know, something that you just can't hang with.

450
00:22:52.000 --> 00:22:55.200
It's just, you're non-negotiable. It doesn't mean that they're a bad person.

451
00:22:55.400 --> 00:22:58.880
It just means that there's something like, for instance, they're long distance.

452
00:22:59.520 --> 00:23:02.720
And they can't move because they are either taking care of an elderly parent or

453
00:23:02.720 --> 00:23:06.080
they have a shared parenting agreement with their spouse or their former spouse.

454
00:23:06.080 --> 00:23:06.840
And they can't move.

455
00:23:07.000 --> 00:23:10.880
And neither can you because you also have something that causes you not to be

456
00:23:10.880 --> 00:23:15.680
able to move. And that means that if you know someone in their area,

457
00:23:15.680 --> 00:23:17.080
you could introduce them, right?

458
00:23:19.560 --> 00:23:24.560
Maybe they're in full-time ministry and you get on a date with them and you find

459
00:23:24.840 --> 00:23:29.840
out that they have committed to this full-time ministry position and they pastor

460
00:23:30.920 --> 00:23:33.240
church or something like that or whatever.

461
00:23:33.560 --> 00:23:37.200
And that's just not your vision for your life. And you don't really,

462
00:23:37.320 --> 00:23:40.400
you don't feel like that is something that you can compromise,

463
00:23:40.560 --> 00:23:43.600
but you do know someone who would love to be in full-time ministry,

464
00:23:43.960 --> 00:23:48.400
who would love to just have ministry as their livelihood and already maybe is

465
00:23:48.400 --> 00:23:51.880
doing that. That's a perfect match for them, right?

466
00:23:53.640 --> 00:23:56.440
Some of you have a non-negotiable that you're still young enough to have

467
00:23:56.440 --> 00:23:59.920
biological kids and you really want biological kids and you're still young

468
00:23:59.920 --> 00:24:03.440
enough to have them and you want them. And this person, they have a vasectomy.

469
00:24:03.440 --> 00:24:05.000
They're not willing to reverse it.

470
00:24:05.440 --> 00:24:09.000
And or they have grown children and that's a non-negotiable for them.

471
00:24:09.080 --> 00:24:11.560
They just don't want any more small children. You know,

472
00:24:11.560 --> 00:24:12.920
we're not going to fight people on that.

473
00:24:12.960 --> 00:24:16.840
People have strong opinions about this if that's really how they feel about it.

474
00:24:16.840 --> 00:24:19.280
Don't think that they're just going to change their mind later because they

475
00:24:19.280 --> 00:24:23.040
really love you so much. Let's not roll those dice. Okay.

476
00:24:23.160 --> 00:24:26.360
Let's just go ahead and introduce them to someone who's also done having babies.

477
00:24:27.080 --> 00:24:27.920
Is that cool?

478
00:24:29.720 --> 00:24:33.440
I've seen that blow up in people's faces too many times where the person's like,

479
00:24:33.440 --> 00:24:36.200
ah, you know, I don't know. I really don't want kids.

480
00:24:37.200 --> 00:24:40.280
And then they date for three months, six months, a year,

481
00:24:40.480 --> 00:24:43.280
they end up getting engaged. And then the question, you know,

482
00:24:43.280 --> 00:24:45.520
then the conversation comes up again. First of all,

483
00:24:45.520 --> 00:24:47.760
it shouldn't have taken that long to come up again. But when it does,

484
00:24:47.760 --> 00:24:50.200
they're like, yeah, I've really decided I don't want any more kids.

485
00:24:50.400 --> 00:24:53.760
How do you marry someone when they told you that they were kind of open to it?

486
00:24:53.760 --> 00:24:56.680
And now a year later, because you've never had the conversation again,

487
00:24:57.000 --> 00:24:59.280
they're not, and you're about to marry them. Well, guess what?

488
00:24:59.280 --> 00:24:59.960
Those folks didn't get

489
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:01.800
Mary, they broke off their engagement

490
00:25:01.800 --> 00:25:03.600
because it's non-negotiable for her.

491
00:25:05.440 --> 00:25:10.120
But she also didn't ask, what script was she running?

492
00:25:10.120 --> 00:25:13.220
She didn't ask until after they were engaged, a year later.

493
00:25:13.220 --> 00:25:14.680
They talked about it at the very beginning,

494
00:25:14.680 --> 00:25:16.180
never talked about it again.

495
00:25:17.400 --> 00:25:19.400
What script was she running?

496
00:25:19.400 --> 00:25:20.960
Yep, chill girl script.

497
00:25:22.760 --> 00:25:25.080
Oh, I'm not gonna rock the boat,

498
00:25:25.080 --> 00:25:28.480
I'm not gonna make waves, everything will work out,

499
00:25:28.480 --> 00:25:31.440
I'm not gonna say anything about my needs or my wants

500
00:25:31.440 --> 00:25:33.640
or what's important to me, nope.

501
00:25:36.520 --> 00:25:38.180
No, no, no, okay.

502
00:25:39.560 --> 00:25:42.480
So we're gonna play matchmaker for ourselves

503
00:25:42.480 --> 00:25:44.480
by using the boundaries and guardrails

504
00:25:44.480 --> 00:25:45.480
that you learned in this book,

505
00:25:45.480 --> 00:25:49.700
being able to just say, no, this isn't it, quickly.

506
00:25:49.700 --> 00:25:51.320
Not based on your feelings or emotions,

507
00:25:51.320 --> 00:25:55.800
not based on, oh, there's no spark, no, based on real data.

508
00:25:55.800 --> 00:25:58.200
Who feels confident to do that now?

509
00:25:58.880 --> 00:26:01.560
Without being scared, without having scarcity,

510
00:26:02.960 --> 00:26:04.680
without having FOMO, come on,

511
00:26:04.680 --> 00:26:07.480
let's see the hands of people that feel really confident

512
00:26:07.480 --> 00:26:10.480
that they can weed people out pretty quick.

513
00:26:10.480 --> 00:26:13.800
Even if you like them, within the first 30 days

514
00:26:13.800 --> 00:26:16.640
of dating them, you feel like at that 60-day mark

515
00:26:16.640 --> 00:26:17.880
or somewhere along there,

516
00:26:17.880 --> 00:26:20.200
you're gonna be able to get to the nitty gritty

517
00:26:20.200 --> 00:26:22.480
of whether or not this is going all the way.

518
00:26:25.400 --> 00:26:27.840
About 18 of you.

519
00:26:28.880 --> 00:26:31.480
And there's 82 people on here, okay.

520
00:26:31.480 --> 00:26:34.160
So let's start our Q&A right there.

521
00:26:34.160 --> 00:26:35.820
So let's go ahead and start taking questions.

522
00:26:35.820 --> 00:26:39.200
Cheryl, if I miss any, go ahead and fire them off to me.

523
00:26:39.200 --> 00:26:41.780
But let's talk about why you might not feel that confident

524
00:26:41.780 --> 00:26:44.360
to play matchmaker for yourself.

525
00:26:44.360 --> 00:26:46.400
Lily's like, I'm getting more focused.

526
00:26:48.000 --> 00:26:49.960
Anna's like, I literally don't know any available men.

527
00:26:49.960 --> 00:26:51.220
You don't know them now, Anna,

528
00:26:51.220 --> 00:26:53.280
but you're gonna start knowing them.

529
00:26:53.280 --> 00:26:55.640
And guess what, you can only have one.

530
00:26:55.640 --> 00:26:57.040
And so if they're not right for you,

531
00:26:57.040 --> 00:26:59.880
then they're probably right for someone else.

532
00:27:00.960 --> 00:27:01.800
All right.

533
00:27:03.240 --> 00:27:05.400
Usually maybe too fast, okay.

534
00:27:05.400 --> 00:27:07.800
All right, so let's start talking about

535
00:27:07.800 --> 00:27:11.480
what do you think is going to be the biggest hurdle for you

536
00:27:11.480 --> 00:27:13.720
now that you've kind of learned the information,

537
00:27:13.720 --> 00:27:16.920
you saw the playbook for modern dating,

538
00:27:16.920 --> 00:27:20.320
you saw the path to success that I laid out in the book,

539
00:27:20.320 --> 00:27:22.160
what do you think is going to be the thing

540
00:27:22.160 --> 00:27:24.660
that gets in your way still the most?

541
00:27:25.940 --> 00:27:26.840
What do you think?

542
00:27:27.880 --> 00:27:29.400
Is it your capacity?

543
00:27:29.400 --> 00:27:32.320
Is it trying to discern their capacity?

544
00:27:32.320 --> 00:27:33.660
Do you feel like you're just too nice

545
00:27:33.660 --> 00:27:35.560
and you give people too many chances?

546
00:27:36.820 --> 00:27:38.800
Do you feel like you still fall in love too quick?

547
00:27:38.800 --> 00:27:40.860
You just, you're so addicted to that chemistry

548
00:27:40.860 --> 00:27:42.240
that you ignore everything else

549
00:27:42.240 --> 00:27:44.220
and you just go in real fast.

550
00:27:44.220 --> 00:27:46.040
What do you think is still going to be the thing

551
00:27:46.040 --> 00:27:47.680
that you need to be held accountable?

552
00:27:47.680 --> 00:27:49.440
Even though you know the real deal now,

553
00:27:49.440 --> 00:27:51.660
you're still gonna need to be held accountable.

554
00:27:51.660 --> 00:27:54.280
I want you to answer that in your first breakout.

555
00:27:54.280 --> 00:27:56.040
So Cheryl, we're gonna put them in breakouts.

556
00:27:56.040 --> 00:27:57.480
You're gonna discuss that with each other

557
00:27:57.480 --> 00:27:58.520
and then we're gonna come back

558
00:27:58.520 --> 00:28:01.560
and we're gonna talk about being matchmakers for ourselves

559
00:28:01.560 --> 00:28:03.760
and others a little bit more and do Q&A.

560
00:28:03.760 --> 00:28:06.580
So let's go ahead and put some breakouts in.

561
00:28:07.600 --> 00:28:09.620
Remember, you're being honest.

562
00:28:10.760 --> 00:28:11.800
You're being honest and saying,

563
00:28:11.800 --> 00:28:14.460
hey, this is where I still really need to work

564
00:28:14.460 --> 00:28:15.600
when I get back out there.

565
00:28:15.600 --> 00:28:18.160
This is what I'm gonna need to be watching out for.

566
00:28:18.160 --> 00:28:21.720
I sleep with one eye open watching this area of myself,

567
00:28:21.720 --> 00:28:24.800
making sure that I don't keep up the bad patterns.

568
00:28:24.800 --> 00:28:26.920
Is it having a crush on someone and never telling them,

569
00:28:26.920 --> 00:28:30.080
never shooting your shot, never taking a chance?

570
00:28:30.080 --> 00:28:32.200
Is it never going out of the house?

571
00:28:32.200 --> 00:28:33.680
Is it you can't meet anyone

572
00:28:33.680 --> 00:28:36.280
because you're never gonna go out of the house ever?

573
00:28:37.680 --> 00:28:38.520
You're not?

574
00:28:39.620 --> 00:28:42.200
Is it that you don't really like what you see in the mirror?

575
00:28:42.200 --> 00:28:43.920
Can I tell you something about the body

576
00:28:43.920 --> 00:28:45.280
that you're in right now?

577
00:28:45.280 --> 00:28:46.320
You're in it.

578
00:28:47.900 --> 00:28:49.440
You're like, yeah, Jackie, I know.

579
00:28:49.440 --> 00:28:53.060
No, you're in it, meaning it's not who you are.

580
00:28:53.060 --> 00:28:54.680
Your body is not who you are.

581
00:28:55.520 --> 00:28:59.200
You're a spirit that lives in a body that possesses a soul.

582
00:28:59.200 --> 00:29:00.860
And I want you to feel really at home

583
00:29:00.860 --> 00:29:02.120
in the house that you're living in.

584
00:29:02.120 --> 00:29:03.560
That body is your house.

585
00:29:03.560 --> 00:29:06.560
It's your earthly house that you're living in.

586
00:29:06.560 --> 00:29:10.320
And a lot of you are at war with your own house.

587
00:29:11.840 --> 00:29:14.100
Seriously, imagine going into the house that you live,

588
00:29:14.100 --> 00:29:17.000
the apartment you live in, the condo you live in,

589
00:29:17.000 --> 00:29:19.600
the van down by the river you live in, wherever you live.

590
00:29:19.600 --> 00:29:23.640
Imagine going into that place, that location,

591
00:29:23.640 --> 00:29:25.660
and literally being at war with it,

592
00:29:27.720 --> 00:29:29.100
being in a fight with it.

593
00:29:31.380 --> 00:29:32.220
Imagine that.

594
00:29:32.220 --> 00:29:36.520
Instead of making it homey and comfy and your refuge,

595
00:29:36.520 --> 00:29:39.160
imagine being in there and just being on guard,

596
00:29:39.160 --> 00:29:42.240
just ready for it to try to destroy you

597
00:29:42.240 --> 00:29:44.180
or you're gonna try to destroy it.

598
00:29:44.180 --> 00:29:46.740
Well, that's how a lot of you are with your bodies.

599
00:29:48.280 --> 00:29:49.560
You're at war with your body.

600
00:29:49.560 --> 00:29:51.720
You're not comfortable in your body.

601
00:29:52.560 --> 00:29:55.400
You look in the mirror, you hate what you see.

602
00:29:56.240 --> 00:29:58.320
What you see in the mirror is not you.

603
00:29:58.320 --> 00:29:59.380
You're a spirit.

604
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:03.880
You're a spirit and a soul that lives in a body.

605
00:30:03.880 --> 00:30:05.300
And so here's what I have to say.

606
00:30:05.300 --> 00:30:13.740
If you walked into your regular house, condo, apartment, RV, and you didn't like it, it

607
00:30:13.740 --> 00:30:19.360
wasn't comfortable, it made you sad, you'd do something about it, wouldn't you?

608
00:30:19.360 --> 00:30:21.700
So that you could live in peace.

609
00:30:21.700 --> 00:30:25.940
And so that right there is an invitation for somebody to start living in peace and making

610
00:30:25.940 --> 00:30:29.820
peace with this earthly home that you're living in called your body.

611
00:30:29.820 --> 00:30:34.940
And that's what some of you are being held back by in the dating realm.

612
00:30:34.940 --> 00:30:39.020
You don't like you and you don't think anyone else is going to like you either because you

613
00:30:39.020 --> 00:30:42.180
think you is what you're looking at in the mirror.

614
00:30:42.180 --> 00:30:46.820
But you is your essence, it's your spirit, it's your heart.

615
00:30:46.820 --> 00:30:51.540
Ladies, the most valuable thing that you have to offer a man is your beautiful feminine

616
00:30:51.540 --> 00:30:52.540
heart.

617
00:30:52.540 --> 00:30:56.860
And gentlemen, the most amazing, wonderful, attractive thing you have to offer a woman

618
00:30:57.020 --> 00:31:00.140
is your masculine heart.

619
00:31:00.140 --> 00:31:01.980
You have to start seeing yourself through that lens.

620
00:31:01.980 --> 00:31:05.580
And for those of you that roll over into last year single, the heart work is the very first

621
00:31:05.580 --> 00:31:07.980
thing you're going to come into contact with when you get there.

622
00:31:07.980 --> 00:31:10.340
All right, let's put them in breakouts.

623
00:31:10.340 --> 00:31:13.140
What's going to be your biggest obstacle?

624
00:31:13.140 --> 00:31:14.540
What do you need to be held accountable with?

625
00:31:14.540 --> 00:31:20.900
And when you get back, we're going to take some Q&A.

626
00:31:20.900 --> 00:31:23.180
For how long, Jackie?

627
00:31:23.180 --> 00:31:27.260
Let's just put them in there, put them in groups of three to four and let's give them,

628
00:31:27.260 --> 00:31:28.500
it's 741.

629
00:31:28.500 --> 00:31:31.060
Let's give them about, no one talk over each other.

630
00:31:31.060 --> 00:31:33.700
Let's get short, brief and powerful answers.

631
00:31:33.700 --> 00:31:40.060
We'll give them eight minutes, maybe 10 if you take too long.

632
00:31:40.060 --> 00:31:54.140
All right, friends, welcome back.

633
00:31:54.140 --> 00:31:55.140
Welcome back.

634
00:31:55.140 --> 00:31:56.820
We're going to talk about this for a second.

635
00:31:56.820 --> 00:32:02.300
Cheryl, just let me know that the very last piece of material in your course tab in your

636
00:32:02.300 --> 00:32:07.420
app is don't let this moment die and also the rollover link into last year single lives

637
00:32:07.420 --> 00:32:08.420
there as well.

638
00:32:08.420 --> 00:32:09.780
So you don't just have to look for that email.

639
00:32:10.500 --> 00:32:16.820
You can go right to your coursework, go to the very last thing in week five's coursework

640
00:32:16.820 --> 00:32:19.500
and you'll see don't let this moment die.

641
00:32:19.500 --> 00:32:21.500
And that is where your rollover link will live.

642
00:32:21.500 --> 00:32:25.920
And I hope you guys all really think about joining because with the advancements in technology

643
00:32:25.920 --> 00:32:30.020
that have happened, we're going to be able to do so much more than we ever were able

644
00:32:30.020 --> 00:32:32.780
to do before as far as connecting people to each other.

645
00:32:32.780 --> 00:32:34.260
So very excited about that.

646
00:32:34.260 --> 00:32:35.260
All right.

647
00:32:35.260 --> 00:32:38.420
So I was talking to Rebecca, she got kicked out of her room.

648
00:32:38.420 --> 00:32:41.180
So she was hanging out here with us for a second.

649
00:32:41.180 --> 00:32:44.300
And she is from West Michigan, the Grand Rapids area.

650
00:32:44.300 --> 00:32:49.140
Gentlemen, if you if you're interested, ladies, if you know anyone, she is 5'10".

651
00:32:49.140 --> 00:32:53.980
Okay, so she is a sturdy girl like me, but she will take 5'8".

652
00:32:53.980 --> 00:32:55.460
And that's as low as she's going to go.

653
00:32:55.460 --> 00:32:56.460
All right.

654
00:32:56.460 --> 00:32:57.460
Okay.

655
00:32:57.460 --> 00:32:58.460
All right.

656
00:32:58.460 --> 00:33:01.900
So she did say that the thing that she's probably going to have to watch out for the most is

657
00:33:01.900 --> 00:33:05.260
not becoming the disgruntled dater again.

658
00:33:05.260 --> 00:33:06.940
Anybody else rowing that boat with Rebecca?

659
00:33:06.940 --> 00:33:08.740
Let's see it in the chat.

660
00:33:08.740 --> 00:33:15.180
Not losing hope, not getting a bad attitude, not getting back out there and saying, look,

661
00:33:15.180 --> 00:33:16.580
did I shave my legs for this?

662
00:33:16.580 --> 00:33:18.580
What am I even doing here?

663
00:33:18.580 --> 00:33:23.500
Mad, mad at the world, mad at God, mad at men.

664
00:33:23.500 --> 00:33:26.220
And you guys, I really want to encourage you.

665
00:33:26.220 --> 00:33:33.260
The way you're going to stay out of that is when you remind yourself that it's the system

666
00:33:33.260 --> 00:33:34.260
that's broken.

667
00:33:34.580 --> 00:33:39.660
Because a lot of times we become the disgruntled dater when we think that we've been rejected,

668
00:33:39.660 --> 00:33:40.660
right?

669
00:33:40.660 --> 00:33:44.780
When we think that there's everybody else got picked, we didn't get picked.

670
00:33:44.780 --> 00:33:46.580
We got rejected for some reason.

671
00:33:46.580 --> 00:33:47.780
God forgot about us.

672
00:33:47.780 --> 00:33:51.080
And I know that there's probably some people in this book club that are not necessarily

673
00:33:51.080 --> 00:33:55.140
spiritual or believers or Christians, but the majority of you are.

674
00:33:55.140 --> 00:33:57.020
So let me talk to you about this from a God lens.

675
00:33:57.020 --> 00:34:02.260
A lot of people do believe in the proverbial waiting room where God just leaves you until

676
00:34:02.260 --> 00:34:08.860
it's your time for whatever you're waiting for, marriage, a baby, a job promotion, anything

677
00:34:08.860 --> 00:34:10.719
good to happen in your life.

678
00:34:10.719 --> 00:34:13.340
And it just isn't true.

679
00:34:13.340 --> 00:34:17.380
And a lot of that, if you're that kind of person, who's just waiting for God to bless

680
00:34:17.380 --> 00:34:22.219
you and give you the things that you've been praying for and the things that you desire,

681
00:34:22.219 --> 00:34:27.340
you're going to get completely cured of that in the first part of last year single called

682
00:34:27.340 --> 00:34:30.580
the heart work, because that is not the way it works.

683
00:34:30.580 --> 00:34:33.100
Faith without corresponding action is dead religion.

684
00:34:33.100 --> 00:34:36.659
And if you've been stuck in dead religion, we're going to help get you out of there.

685
00:34:36.659 --> 00:34:41.580
I believe the desires of your heart are not just a promise of what God has for you.

686
00:34:41.580 --> 00:34:44.739
They're an invitation to what God has for you.

687
00:34:44.739 --> 00:34:46.780
And that looks like action on your part.

688
00:34:46.780 --> 00:34:50.659
And being here is part of that action, but let's not let that momentum die.

689
00:34:50.659 --> 00:34:51.659
Okay.

690
00:34:51.659 --> 00:34:52.659
This can't just be a moment.

691
00:34:52.659 --> 00:34:54.100
This has to be momentum.

692
00:34:54.100 --> 00:34:57.820
And the way you're going to keep momentum is what Rebecca was already talking about.

693
00:34:57.820 --> 00:34:59.060
You're never stuck on the outside.

694
00:34:59.060 --> 00:35:00.060
You're only stuck on the inside.

695
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:01.760
So it's about what you believe.

696
00:35:01.760 --> 00:35:03.680
It's not about what's true or not.

697
00:35:03.680 --> 00:35:05.540
It's about what you believe is true.

698
00:35:06.720 --> 00:35:09.280
And if you believe that there's no good men left,

699
00:35:09.280 --> 00:35:10.120
then guess what?

700
00:35:10.120 --> 00:35:11.040
There's not.

701
00:35:11.040 --> 00:35:14.240
If you believe that there's no one in your area

702
00:35:14.240 --> 00:35:17.140
that you could possibly be attracted to, then there's not.

703
00:35:18.160 --> 00:35:20.000
If you believe that no one's gonna want you

704
00:35:20.000 --> 00:35:22.280
for whatever reason, A, B, C, D, E, F, G,

705
00:35:22.280 --> 00:35:24.040
then they're not.

706
00:35:24.040 --> 00:35:26.160
A lot of times we're waiting for someone to come

707
00:35:26.160 --> 00:35:28.080
and make us believe something different.

708
00:35:28.080 --> 00:35:32.000
No, we've gotta believe something different so they come.

709
00:35:32.000 --> 00:35:32.900
Do you hear me?

710
00:35:33.800 --> 00:35:35.660
I've lived my whole life by this, you guys.

711
00:35:35.660 --> 00:35:37.400
I used to be a professional victim.

712
00:35:38.320 --> 00:35:40.240
There are no trophies for trauma.

713
00:35:40.240 --> 00:35:42.880
And I realize that all of you wanted to have

714
00:35:42.880 --> 00:35:45.160
an amazing partnership probably 10 years ago,

715
00:35:45.160 --> 00:35:48.520
15 years ago, maybe since you were a little girl or boy.

716
00:35:48.520 --> 00:35:50.600
And I understand.

717
00:35:50.600 --> 00:35:51.440
But guess what?

718
00:35:51.440 --> 00:35:53.440
It's not too late unless you say it is.

719
00:35:54.740 --> 00:35:56.880
Our oldest success story in last year's singles

720
00:35:56.880 --> 00:35:59.760
is 81 years old, but I just heard about a success story

721
00:35:59.760 --> 00:36:03.400
not in last year's single where she's 95 years old.

722
00:36:03.400 --> 00:36:04.520
Way to go.

723
00:36:04.520 --> 00:36:06.800
Way to go right at the wire, let's go.

724
00:36:06.800 --> 00:36:08.480
All right, that wasn't a first marriage,

725
00:36:08.480 --> 00:36:09.360
so don't get scared.

726
00:36:09.360 --> 00:36:11.560
You're like, oh no, Jackie.

727
00:36:11.560 --> 00:36:13.920
I'm gonna get married in the old folks' home.

728
00:36:13.920 --> 00:36:15.040
I just know it.

729
00:36:15.040 --> 00:36:18.320
No, you're not, okay?

730
00:36:18.320 --> 00:36:21.940
But remember, if we're waiting for someone

731
00:36:21.940 --> 00:36:23.520
to come and rescue us,

732
00:36:23.520 --> 00:36:25.760
then we're probably going to attract a thief.

733
00:36:26.720 --> 00:36:29.880
Anytime I've met a woman who was waiting for a man

734
00:36:29.880 --> 00:36:33.440
to just come in and disprove everything that she believed

735
00:36:33.440 --> 00:36:35.600
about herself and marriage and men,

736
00:36:35.600 --> 00:36:37.840
she always attracted someone who seemed like

737
00:36:37.840 --> 00:36:39.440
he was a good guy on the outside,

738
00:36:39.440 --> 00:36:41.860
but never was on the inside.

739
00:36:41.860 --> 00:36:43.540
So you've got to change your mindset

740
00:36:43.540 --> 00:36:46.200
so that you attract the right things.

741
00:36:46.200 --> 00:36:48.040
Don't be waiting for someone to come change your mind.

742
00:36:48.040 --> 00:36:51.160
You change your mind now so that the right people come.

743
00:36:51.160 --> 00:36:52.560
Amen?

744
00:36:52.560 --> 00:36:53.400
Amen?

745
00:36:53.400 --> 00:36:55.520
Can anyone get on board with that?

746
00:36:56.280 --> 00:36:58.080
Okay, all right.

747
00:36:58.080 --> 00:37:00.640
Okay, I'm gonna go ahead and open the floor up for coaching.

748
00:37:00.640 --> 00:37:02.080
If you have a coaching question

749
00:37:02.080 --> 00:37:04.520
that you can ask in 30 seconds or less,

750
00:37:04.520 --> 00:37:05.760
I'm gonna call on you

751
00:37:05.760 --> 00:37:08.520
and we're gonna do a popcorn round of questions.

752
00:37:08.520 --> 00:37:10.220
Allison, do you have your hand up?

753
00:37:12.280 --> 00:37:14.880
This is a question I've asked before,

754
00:37:14.880 --> 00:37:17.800
and I don't know if you have any data on it,

755
00:37:17.800 --> 00:37:20.120
but my question is,

756
00:37:20.120 --> 00:37:23.960
do you find that there's more fraudulent matches

757
00:37:23.960 --> 00:37:27.400
for older people on the dating sites?

758
00:37:27.400 --> 00:37:29.680
Because that's almost all I've gotten.

759
00:37:30.680 --> 00:37:35.020
I will say that I believe that older people are targeted

760
00:37:35.020 --> 00:37:38.160
more than, you know, so let's say 50 and up,

761
00:37:38.160 --> 00:37:39.960
maybe are targeted more.

762
00:37:39.960 --> 00:37:43.320
I think that the reason why is not what you would suspect.

763
00:37:43.320 --> 00:37:44.740
I don't think that they're targeting you

764
00:37:44.740 --> 00:37:46.680
because they think that you're old and desperate

765
00:37:46.680 --> 00:37:49.120
and you'll just take whatever and you'll believe whatever.

766
00:37:49.120 --> 00:37:51.480
I think the reason why people 50 and up are targeted

767
00:37:51.520 --> 00:37:54.240
is because they assume that they are not as savvy

768
00:37:54.240 --> 00:37:58.080
with technology as the other people, okay?

769
00:37:58.080 --> 00:38:00.000
And the way that you combat that

770
00:38:00.000 --> 00:38:03.120
is just being as savvy as you can be with technology.

771
00:38:03.120 --> 00:38:04.560
You know, we teach in last year single

772
00:38:04.560 --> 00:38:06.420
what to watch out for with scammers.

773
00:38:06.420 --> 00:38:10.040
We're actually about to update our online dating course

774
00:38:10.040 --> 00:38:12.280
so that you know all the new AI scams

775
00:38:12.280 --> 00:38:13.880
that are out there right now.

776
00:38:13.880 --> 00:38:17.280
And so you can just say, thank you next, okay?

777
00:38:17.280 --> 00:38:18.320
So here's the good news.

778
00:38:18.320 --> 00:38:21.180
The good news is that the quicker that you shut down

779
00:38:21.880 --> 00:38:23.700
the people that are fakers, that are scammers,

780
00:38:23.700 --> 00:38:25.940
that are just trying to get you to fall in love.

781
00:38:25.940 --> 00:38:27.740
And you guys are signs right away.

782
00:38:27.740 --> 00:38:28.740
They're love bombers.

783
00:38:28.740 --> 00:38:30.220
They come in really quick.

784
00:38:30.220 --> 00:38:31.660
They used to have broken English.

785
00:38:31.660 --> 00:38:33.080
It sounded terrible.

786
00:38:33.080 --> 00:38:35.680
Like, oh my gosh, who is this person pretending to be

787
00:38:35.680 --> 00:38:37.780
because they can't even speak English correctly

788
00:38:37.780 --> 00:38:39.140
in their writing.

789
00:38:39.140 --> 00:38:40.340
AI has fixed all that.

790
00:38:40.340 --> 00:38:41.780
Now they sound great.

791
00:38:41.780 --> 00:38:43.380
They sound like a regular person

792
00:38:43.380 --> 00:38:46.000
but they're creating intimacy way too quickly.

793
00:38:46.000 --> 00:38:48.700
They're creating, you know, some sort of rapport

794
00:38:48.740 --> 00:38:52.460
or some type of emotional connection way, way, way too fast.

795
00:38:52.460 --> 00:38:54.180
As soon as that happens,

796
00:38:54.180 --> 00:38:56.540
especially if you haven't had a FaceTime with them,

797
00:38:56.540 --> 00:38:58.660
you've not seen them in person, they don't wanna meet up.

798
00:38:58.660 --> 00:39:00.100
They always have an excuse.

799
00:39:00.100 --> 00:39:03.620
You gotta be like, no, that's a scammer, okay?

800
00:39:03.620 --> 00:39:05.220
That's someone who's up to no good.

801
00:39:05.220 --> 00:39:08.220
And just bless them and block them, y'all.

802
00:39:09.220 --> 00:39:10.600
Don't tell them, oh, you're a scammer.

803
00:39:10.600 --> 00:39:11.820
You should be ashamed of yourself.

804
00:39:11.820 --> 00:39:13.220
Bless them and block them.

805
00:39:13.220 --> 00:39:14.780
Just done, gone.

806
00:39:14.780 --> 00:39:15.760
Okay, Allison?

807
00:39:16.760 --> 00:39:19.520
And I know that, you know, I shouldn't have to say this

808
00:39:19.520 --> 00:39:21.480
but I'm just gonna go ahead and say it.

809
00:39:21.480 --> 00:39:25.860
Never, ever, ever, ever give anyone any money.

810
00:39:27.400 --> 00:39:30.040
I don't care if they promised you the world.

811
00:39:30.040 --> 00:39:31.880
I don't care if they can't get to you

812
00:39:31.880 --> 00:39:33.980
because their car broke down and they need money to fix it

813
00:39:33.980 --> 00:39:35.680
so they can come and take you on a date.

814
00:39:35.680 --> 00:39:36.520
Get out of here.

815
00:39:36.520 --> 00:39:37.920
Does that even make sense?

816
00:39:37.920 --> 00:39:39.520
All right, if they're on an oil rig

817
00:39:39.520 --> 00:39:40.600
in the middle of the ocean

818
00:39:40.600 --> 00:39:43.960
and they just don't have access to their bank account,

819
00:39:43.960 --> 00:39:48.360
no, never, ever, ever, ever, ever for any reason

820
00:39:48.360 --> 00:39:50.400
or gift cards, what is this scam?

821
00:39:50.400 --> 00:39:51.880
Oh, I'm in trouble

822
00:39:51.880 --> 00:39:54.140
and they'll only take gift cards as payment.

823
00:39:56.280 --> 00:39:57.320
Come on.

824
00:39:57.320 --> 00:40:00.120
I was born on a day, but it wasn't yesterday, all right?

825
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:05.520
Let's get out of here. Okay. All right, friends, we can, we can together, together,

826
00:40:05.520 --> 00:40:11.360
we can keep each other safe. And if you have any doubt, show someone else, show someone else,

827
00:40:11.360 --> 00:40:16.160
tell someone else. That's what I love about last year's single community is that no scammers or

828
00:40:16.160 --> 00:40:21.840
spammers or narcissists or crazy people make it through the gauntlet of last year's single.

829
00:40:21.840 --> 00:40:26.160
Because if you don't see the red flags, we definitely will. And we will tell you. All

830
00:40:26.160 --> 00:40:38.320
right, Amelia, you're up. Can you hear me? Yeah. Okay. Hi. Um, my question is, I, I feel like that

831
00:40:38.320 --> 00:40:46.000
I am optimistic and have faith about my future and what God is going to bring me. But it's really

832
00:40:46.000 --> 00:40:53.200
hard to get dates from the dating apps, like to move from the dating apps to actual in person date.

833
00:40:53.840 --> 00:40:58.640
Yeah, it really is. And here's what I want to tell you guys. Look, there's millions and millions

834
00:40:58.640 --> 00:41:03.200
of people using dating apps, and that's why we got to use them as a tool. We can't let them use us.

835
00:41:03.200 --> 00:41:09.760
We have to use them. It is a good tool if you use it correctly. And the way you use it correctly is

836
00:41:09.760 --> 00:41:15.520
you go ahead and you apply what you've learned in this book club to your online activity. Meaning

837
00:41:15.520 --> 00:41:20.480
if this person is not trying to move towards a date and just the first couple conversations,

838
00:41:21.440 --> 00:41:25.840
then all they want is attention. And it's okay to go ahead and bounce off that conversation

839
00:41:25.840 --> 00:41:29.920
to a next one, because I hate to say it this way, but I'm going to say it this way.

840
00:41:29.920 --> 00:41:35.280
Success on dating apps is all about numbers. Remember it's a slot machine. And so it's

841
00:41:35.280 --> 00:41:42.320
important for you to, to use it at its own game. Meaning that the more, the less that you keep

842
00:41:42.320 --> 00:41:48.000
putting tokens or quarters into a slot machine, that's not going to hit the better chance you

843
00:41:48.000 --> 00:41:53.520
have of getting one that is. And so it's important that you just jump off that profile.

844
00:41:53.520 --> 00:41:57.520
They're not interested. They're not coming on a date. They're not inviting you out. They don't

845
00:41:57.520 --> 00:42:03.280
want to see you in person. If they're interested in getting to know you and seeing you, they will,

846
00:42:03.280 --> 00:42:07.920
they they'll help move that conversation forward and go ahead and ask for it. Whether you're a guy

847
00:42:07.920 --> 00:42:13.040
or a girl doesn't matter. Just say, Hey, you know, this is a final conversation. Let's continue it

848
00:42:13.040 --> 00:42:18.640
in person. It's easy you guys. And if they say no or make excuses, thank you next. So Amelia,

849
00:42:18.640 --> 00:42:22.880
I want you to employ that because there are really good people on the apps. You just have

850
00:42:22.880 --> 00:42:26.720
to weed through all the other people. And the way that you do that is quickly.

851
00:42:28.880 --> 00:42:34.880
So what people do is there's even one little spark of like conversational chemistry. You just

852
00:42:34.880 --> 00:42:39.760
stay there forever, just flirting back and forth and giving them the attention that they want

853
00:42:39.840 --> 00:42:43.200
when they're not relationship minded. Why would you do that?

854
00:42:44.480 --> 00:42:48.240
This is a relation. This is a dating app. That's supposed to lead to a relationship.

855
00:42:48.240 --> 00:42:52.800
It's not a talking app. It's not an attention app. And so if that's the way that they're using it,

856
00:42:52.800 --> 00:42:57.520
let's get moving forward. And the first time, the first sign that they're not there for the right

857
00:42:57.520 --> 00:43:02.880
reasons, as far as like sexting or, you know, sending you nudes, or this one guy was like,

858
00:43:02.880 --> 00:43:09.360
do you want to see my wiener? And she was like, Oh my God, this is one of my success stories.

859
00:43:09.360 --> 00:43:13.680
She's married now, but we, you know, we helped her weed out these kinds of guys. And she's like,

860
00:43:15.120 --> 00:43:19.120
I can't believe that you blah, blah. And then he sent her a picture of his wiener dog.

861
00:43:20.160 --> 00:43:23.920
But I promise you, if she would have been like, yeah, baby, let me see your wiener.

862
00:43:23.920 --> 00:43:28.480
She would have got to pick up a whole different wiener. Okay. So if someone's fishing,

863
00:43:29.440 --> 00:43:33.680
let them fish in a different pond. Amen. Just go ahead and bless them and block them. And ladies,

864
00:43:33.680 --> 00:43:38.080
you don't have to lead them to Jesus. Okay. You don't have to be like, can I tell you about your

865
00:43:38.080 --> 00:43:42.240
Lord and Savior Jesus Christ? No, you don't have to do that. You don't have to tell them why their

866
00:43:42.240 --> 00:43:46.400
behavior is bad or why they should be ashamed of themselves. You could just bless them and block

867
00:43:46.400 --> 00:43:52.320
them. Why are you wasting your time on them? Honestly? Why? All right. Let's just do that,

868
00:43:52.320 --> 00:43:57.120
ladies. Okay. So Amelia, I want you to report back. You start doing this. You start using your,

869
00:43:58.080 --> 00:44:02.960
you know, using your framework now in these conversations and just weeding through them

870
00:44:02.960 --> 00:44:07.120
faster. The faster you can get through the ones that are not interested in relationships,

871
00:44:07.120 --> 00:44:11.840
the quicker you can get to someone who is. And then of course, always be meeting people in

872
00:44:11.840 --> 00:44:16.400
person and always be using your advisory circle of six degrees of separation. Okay.

873
00:44:16.400 --> 00:44:21.440
Yes. Well, dear, thank you. Yes. You're good, honey. Listen, it's going to happen. You guys,

874
00:44:21.440 --> 00:44:26.240
I'm telling you, these programs are supernatural. We don't just do this because it sounds like fun

875
00:44:26.240 --> 00:44:30.880
because it's not fun. Dating's not fun. None of this is fun, but we're all here because something

876
00:44:30.880 --> 00:44:34.960
is shifting and hopefully you feel that. All right. Next up is Danielle. Let's go.

877
00:44:35.760 --> 00:44:39.840
The word wiener is just hilarious. I know wieners, right? Wiener dog.

878
00:44:39.840 --> 00:44:46.880
Okay. So, oh, you got me cracking up. Here's my question. A vulnerable statement. My record is

879
00:44:46.880 --> 00:44:54.400
not the cleanest. And so what are your thoughts on talking with people about their records?

880
00:44:54.400 --> 00:44:59.680
And is it clean? Is it not? Is that more of a preference? Are you talking about?

881
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:01.000
Criminal record right now?

882
00:45:01.000 --> 00:45:02.000
Criminal record, yes.

883
00:45:02.000 --> 00:45:02.760
OK.

884
00:45:02.760 --> 00:45:07.000
So that is something that you, you know,

885
00:45:07.000 --> 00:45:08.080
here's the thing, you guys.

886
00:45:08.080 --> 00:45:09.920
If you have something that you know

887
00:45:09.920 --> 00:45:15.040
is probably, could be on someone else's deal breaker list,

888
00:45:15.040 --> 00:45:17.960
it's OK to bring that up in the first 30 days,

889
00:45:17.960 --> 00:45:20.480
especially if you're vibing.

890
00:45:20.480 --> 00:45:22.600
It's not fair to super vibe with someone

891
00:45:22.600 --> 00:45:24.120
and they're really getting into you

892
00:45:24.120 --> 00:45:26.080
and then you tell them something that

893
00:45:26.080 --> 00:45:27.720
could be a deal breaker for them.

894
00:45:27.720 --> 00:45:29.880
Now I'm going to tell Danielle and anybody else who

895
00:45:29.880 --> 00:45:31.800
has one of those topics, it's not going to be a deal breaker

896
00:45:31.800 --> 00:45:32.800
for everybody.

897
00:45:32.800 --> 00:45:34.360
It's definitely not going to be a deal

898
00:45:34.360 --> 00:45:35.560
breaker for your spirit mate.

899
00:45:35.560 --> 00:45:38.320
And that's kind of how you're going to know, right?

900
00:45:38.320 --> 00:45:41.840
I remember when I told David, my husband of 20 years,

901
00:45:41.840 --> 00:45:44.960
when we went on our very first official date,

902
00:45:44.960 --> 00:45:48.720
I told him that I had some mental health issues.

903
00:45:48.720 --> 00:45:50.920
I told him that, you know, I had been struggling

904
00:45:50.920 --> 00:45:53.800
with some mental health issues for quite some time.

905
00:45:53.800 --> 00:45:55.760
I was on some medication, you know,

906
00:45:55.760 --> 00:45:58.720
that I had been hospitalized, you know, and stuff.

907
00:45:58.720 --> 00:46:00.360
And for some people, that'd be a deal breaker.

908
00:46:00.360 --> 00:46:02.000
They'd just be like, yeah, I'm not

909
00:46:02.000 --> 00:46:03.320
into dealing with any of that.

910
00:46:03.320 --> 00:46:05.080
But for him, it wasn't.

911
00:46:05.080 --> 00:46:06.160
And guess what?

912
00:46:06.160 --> 00:46:08.360
It ended up just being my abusive marriage

913
00:46:08.360 --> 00:46:10.440
was my mental health issue.

914
00:46:10.440 --> 00:46:13.000
Because, you know, once I was fully divorced

915
00:46:13.000 --> 00:46:14.680
and everything was over with, guess what?

916
00:46:14.680 --> 00:46:16.680
My mental health issue pretty much went away.

917
00:46:16.680 --> 00:46:18.480
All right, so the bottom line is,

918
00:46:18.480 --> 00:46:21.360
is that tell them within the first 30 days.

919
00:46:21.360 --> 00:46:24.400
You're like, but what if it's an STD, Jackie?

920
00:46:24.400 --> 00:46:27.040
Yeah, if things start getting romantically involved

921
00:46:27.120 --> 00:46:27.960
in the first 30 days,

922
00:46:27.960 --> 00:46:29.680
meaning that you know that they're really into you

923
00:46:29.680 --> 00:46:32.360
and you know that they really like you.

924
00:46:32.360 --> 00:46:35.360
And, you know, you might've even shared a kiss by then.

925
00:46:35.360 --> 00:46:39.160
It's important for you to let them know that

926
00:46:39.160 --> 00:46:41.560
because if they find that out later,

927
00:46:41.560 --> 00:46:44.840
they could be upset, right?

928
00:46:44.840 --> 00:46:45.960
And so, yeah.

929
00:46:45.960 --> 00:46:48.720
So Danielle, I don't care.

930
00:46:48.720 --> 00:46:50.680
You robbed a bank, whatever you did.

931
00:46:50.680 --> 00:46:53.680
The bottom line is, is that, you know,

932
00:46:53.680 --> 00:46:56.640
there's a man out there who's gonna love you.

933
00:46:56.640 --> 00:46:59.160
And it doesn't, he's not gonna judge you

934
00:46:59.160 --> 00:47:00.560
for whatever happened in the past.

935
00:47:00.560 --> 00:47:01.480
The past is the past.

936
00:47:01.480 --> 00:47:02.720
But you guys, some people don't have grace

937
00:47:02.720 --> 00:47:04.120
for stuff like that.

938
00:47:04.120 --> 00:47:05.760
Like say you used to have an addiction,

939
00:47:05.760 --> 00:47:07.560
but you've been clean for a long time.

940
00:47:07.560 --> 00:47:09.240
You've been sober for a long time.

941
00:47:09.240 --> 00:47:11.240
There are still people who they're,

942
00:47:11.240 --> 00:47:14.320
one of their non-negotiables is never will I ever

943
00:47:14.320 --> 00:47:17.560
date someone who ever had an addiction.

944
00:47:17.560 --> 00:47:20.360
And so it's fair.

945
00:47:20.360 --> 00:47:22.000
It's fair in the first 30 days.

946
00:47:22.000 --> 00:47:24.120
Not the first date, please hear me.

947
00:47:24.120 --> 00:47:26.880
Not the first two dates, not even the first three dates.

948
00:47:26.880 --> 00:47:29.640
But if you're vibing and you know this is going somewhere

949
00:47:29.640 --> 00:47:31.000
because you know it is,

950
00:47:31.000 --> 00:47:33.000
that's when it's appropriate to go ahead and say,

951
00:47:33.000 --> 00:47:35.800
hey, you know, before we get too far into this,

952
00:47:35.800 --> 00:47:39.520
because I can tell that we really have a lot in common

953
00:47:39.520 --> 00:47:42.320
and a lot of compatibility in chemistry.

954
00:47:42.320 --> 00:47:45.360
I think that it's only fair to tell you this.

955
00:47:45.360 --> 00:47:46.200
And then you do.

956
00:47:47.160 --> 00:47:48.000
Cool?

957
00:47:49.440 --> 00:47:50.840
Now I have a juvenile record,

958
00:47:50.840 --> 00:47:52.360
but it's been sealed by the courts.

959
00:47:52.360 --> 00:47:53.200
No, I'm just kidding.

960
00:47:53.360 --> 00:47:55.720
David San Antonio, 30 seconds or less.

961
00:47:55.720 --> 00:47:56.560
What do you got?

962
00:47:56.560 --> 00:47:58.280
I really, I was in juvie friends.

963
00:47:58.280 --> 00:47:59.400
It wasn't good.

964
00:47:59.400 --> 00:48:01.480
Jackie, speaking of mental health.

965
00:48:01.480 --> 00:48:03.600
So like I stroke and I have autism,

966
00:48:03.600 --> 00:48:04.960
have some mental health issues.

967
00:48:04.960 --> 00:48:07.360
I still live at home.

968
00:48:07.360 --> 00:48:10.560
My parents is struggling financially.

969
00:48:10.560 --> 00:48:12.760
Like I'm wondering if I even belong in this program.

970
00:48:12.760 --> 00:48:14.760
I mean, learning is cool, but you know,

971
00:48:14.760 --> 00:48:16.680
I met you at the thing in Austin,

972
00:48:17.600 --> 00:48:20.640
the anniversary party or whatever that was like.

973
00:48:20.640 --> 00:48:21.640
So what do you think?

974
00:48:22.640 --> 00:48:25.160
I think David that I do remember meeting you

975
00:48:25.160 --> 00:48:26.840
at the anniversary in Austin.

976
00:48:26.840 --> 00:48:29.200
And that was almost a year ago now.

977
00:48:29.200 --> 00:48:34.200
And I do think that there's a place in LYS for everybody.

978
00:48:35.120 --> 00:48:36.680
And I think the men's program,

979
00:48:36.680 --> 00:48:39.600
especially in the heart work and in, you know,

980
00:48:39.600 --> 00:48:42.120
dealing with some things that may be keeping you stuck.

981
00:48:42.120 --> 00:48:43.320
Remember, we're not stuck on the outside.

982
00:48:43.320 --> 00:48:44.760
We're stuck on the inside.

983
00:48:44.760 --> 00:48:46.640
So autism isn't what has you stuck.

984
00:48:46.640 --> 00:48:50.040
Maybe what you have been told about autism has you stuck.

985
00:48:50.280 --> 00:48:52.280
Living with your parents is not what has you stuck,

986
00:48:52.280 --> 00:48:55.520
but maybe some of the reasons why you live with them

987
00:48:55.520 --> 00:48:57.600
and why, you know, your belief systems

988
00:48:57.600 --> 00:48:59.520
and your mindsets and your heart postures.

989
00:48:59.520 --> 00:49:01.320
And so joining last year's single

990
00:49:01.320 --> 00:49:06.000
and really digging in with the men, I think would be good.

991
00:49:06.000 --> 00:49:09.800
Really digging into some coaching and, you know,

992
00:49:09.800 --> 00:49:11.280
getting it at what it is you need

993
00:49:11.280 --> 00:49:13.960
in order to become the higher

994
00:49:13.960 --> 00:49:15.640
and healthier version of yourself.

995
00:49:15.640 --> 00:49:17.120
Do I think, if you're asking me,

996
00:49:17.120 --> 00:49:19.640
do I think that a woman that's healthy

997
00:49:20.240 --> 00:49:21.480
is going to want to partner with a man

998
00:49:21.480 --> 00:49:22.600
that still lives at home

999
00:49:22.600 --> 00:49:24.480
and maybe doesn't have any money or a job?

1000
00:49:24.480 --> 00:49:25.400
Probably not.

1001
00:49:25.400 --> 00:49:27.160
But I do think that those are things

1002
00:49:27.160 --> 00:49:29.040
that are solvable for you.

1003
00:49:29.040 --> 00:49:31.040
You're not, you know, you're a young man,

1004
00:49:31.040 --> 00:49:32.320
you know, you're a handsome man.

1005
00:49:32.320 --> 00:49:33.240
I met you in person.

1006
00:49:33.240 --> 00:49:34.480
You got a lot going for you.

1007
00:49:34.480 --> 00:49:36.680
I want you to focus on what you have going for you

1008
00:49:36.680 --> 00:49:38.920
and let's figure out how we can get more going for you.

1009
00:49:38.920 --> 00:49:39.760
How about that?

1010
00:49:41.160 --> 00:49:42.000
Okay.

1011
00:49:42.000 --> 00:49:42.840
Yeah, thanks.

1012
00:49:42.840 --> 00:49:43.680
Sound good?

1013
00:49:43.680 --> 00:49:44.520
Okay.

1014
00:49:44.520 --> 00:49:46.120
By the way, if we notice some women in here we like

1015
00:49:46.120 --> 00:49:49.200
and we can't find them, can y'all find them for us?

1016
00:49:49.240 --> 00:49:50.520
Well, I think we just said

1017
00:49:50.520 --> 00:49:51.600
that we're not going to really be looking

1018
00:49:51.600 --> 00:49:52.680
for women right now.

1019
00:49:52.680 --> 00:49:54.160
Right?

1020
00:49:54.160 --> 00:49:56.520
I mean, we don't have to find any of them.

1021
00:49:56.520 --> 00:49:57.360
They're not lost.

1022
00:49:57.360 --> 00:49:58.880
They're right here.

1023
00:49:58.880 --> 00:50:00.200
So, but if you ask.

1024
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:02.140
asking me if we're gonna make an invitation

1025
00:50:02.140 --> 00:50:04.480
or matchmake from this community.

1026
00:50:04.480 --> 00:50:06.420
No, we're not, so.

1027
00:50:09.840 --> 00:50:12.440
And you guys take note of each other

1028
00:50:12.440 --> 00:50:14.900
because if you email us and say,

1029
00:50:14.900 --> 00:50:17.320
hey, can I have the email address of so-and-so

1030
00:50:17.320 --> 00:50:20.960
in the book club, privacy, we can't give it to you, okay?

1031
00:50:20.960 --> 00:50:23.560
So, but you can see who each other are in here.

1032
00:50:23.560 --> 00:50:25.400
You can easily find each other on social media.

1033
00:50:25.400 --> 00:50:27.120
Let me say one thing about that.

1034
00:50:27.120 --> 00:50:30.360
If someone approaches you from anything that I do

1035
00:50:30.360 --> 00:50:33.720
and it's a no, like you're not interested,

1036
00:50:33.720 --> 00:50:35.300
definitely take no for an answer

1037
00:50:35.300 --> 00:50:37.640
because we run a strict ship around here

1038
00:50:37.640 --> 00:50:41.920
in Last Year Single, and if anyone is harassing anyone

1039
00:50:41.920 --> 00:50:46.080
or not respecting people's no in boundaries,

1040
00:50:46.080 --> 00:50:48.240
then we boot them on out.

1041
00:50:48.240 --> 00:50:50.100
And I will tell you, and I'm proud of this,

1042
00:50:50.100 --> 00:50:52.640
in six years, Cheryl, I think we've only had to boot out

1043
00:50:52.640 --> 00:50:54.800
like what, five people in six years?

1044
00:50:54.800 --> 00:50:56.220
Not very many.

1045
00:50:56.220 --> 00:50:57.900
So you guys, I'm talking to Cheryl

1046
00:50:57.900 --> 00:50:59.940
because she's part of our LYS team

1047
00:50:59.940 --> 00:51:03.140
and she's been around for, since the beginning almost.

1048
00:51:03.140 --> 00:51:04.680
Okay, Marisol, you're up.

1049
00:51:05.880 --> 00:51:08.420
Boundaries, friends, good boundaries.

1050
00:51:08.420 --> 00:51:10.940
My question is, can we have a mix of men and women

1051
00:51:10.940 --> 00:51:12.160
in our advisory circle,

1052
00:51:12.160 --> 00:51:14.540
or does it have to be somebody of the same sex?

1053
00:51:14.540 --> 00:51:15.980
No, 100%.

1054
00:51:15.980 --> 00:51:18.740
If you have a man that you trust

1055
00:51:18.740 --> 00:51:21.420
that could help you introduce you to other men

1056
00:51:21.420 --> 00:51:25.220
and or weigh in on a man that you meet or are dating,

1057
00:51:25.220 --> 00:51:26.980
I think that's amazing.

1058
00:51:26.980 --> 00:51:27.860
Okay, awesome.

1059
00:51:27.860 --> 00:51:28.700
That was my question.

1060
00:51:28.700 --> 00:51:29.520
Thank you.

1061
00:51:29.520 --> 00:51:30.360
Great.

1062
00:51:30.360 --> 00:51:31.420
Okay, Susana.

1063
00:51:33.740 --> 00:51:34.580
Oh, hi.

1064
00:51:36.740 --> 00:51:40.740
Okay, I was just trying to post my question on the app,

1065
00:51:40.740 --> 00:51:42.260
but it's not letting me.

1066
00:51:42.260 --> 00:51:47.260
So I would rather just post it there than share here.

1067
00:51:47.700 --> 00:51:50.300
But for some reason, I try many times,

1068
00:51:50.300 --> 00:51:54.180
I even send an email, but they told me to,

1069
00:51:54.180 --> 00:51:58.340
they replied and told me to do it through the app.

1070
00:51:58.340 --> 00:52:00.060
But it's hard.

1071
00:52:00.060 --> 00:52:01.540
Is it something you can ask here,

1072
00:52:01.540 --> 00:52:04.180
or do you need to just post it because of privacy?

1073
00:52:04.180 --> 00:52:06.180
Yeah, I'd rather post this.

1074
00:52:06.180 --> 00:52:07.020
Okay.

1075
00:52:07.020 --> 00:52:09.180
All right, so Cheryl is helping you?

1076
00:52:11.340 --> 00:52:12.820
She sent me an email,

1077
00:52:12.820 --> 00:52:16.740
and I explained that the app is not letting me

1078
00:52:16.740 --> 00:52:17.820
post the question.

1079
00:52:17.820 --> 00:52:19.700
So I don't know what should I do now.

1080
00:52:21.380 --> 00:52:23.120
Okay, then just email us the question,

1081
00:52:23.120 --> 00:52:24.840
and I'll just email you back and answer it.

1082
00:52:24.840 --> 00:52:25.680
I did.

1083
00:52:25.680 --> 00:52:26.640
I emailed the question.

1084
00:52:26.640 --> 00:52:29.160
Okay, then I'll see it, and I'll answer you.

1085
00:52:29.160 --> 00:52:31.280
You guys, if you're still waiting for questions

1086
00:52:31.280 --> 00:52:32.440
to be answered, even in the app,

1087
00:52:32.440 --> 00:52:34.240
the app was glitching bad.

1088
00:52:34.240 --> 00:52:38.540
I think that we have the developers figuring that out,

1089
00:52:38.540 --> 00:52:40.240
figuring out the bugs of why it was glitching.

1090
00:52:40.240 --> 00:52:42.360
But I answered all the questions,

1091
00:52:42.360 --> 00:52:43.960
but some of the answers just disappeared.

1092
00:52:43.960 --> 00:52:45.720
But I went back through and answered them again.

1093
00:52:45.720 --> 00:52:47.480
And so if you're still waiting on an answer

1094
00:52:47.480 --> 00:52:48.720
between now and Sunday,

1095
00:52:48.720 --> 00:52:52.240
you will definitely have an answer to your questions, okay?

1096
00:52:52.240 --> 00:52:53.080
Marlee.

1097
00:52:54.640 --> 00:52:59.640
Hi, my question is that I tend to get messages

1098
00:53:02.360 --> 00:53:06.600
for men who are 12 to 15 years younger than me.

1099
00:53:06.600 --> 00:53:09.600
And my first response is that I'm very skeptical,

1100
00:53:09.600 --> 00:53:11.400
and I don't even answer.

1101
00:53:11.400 --> 00:53:13.920
I'd like your take on it.

1102
00:53:13.920 --> 00:53:15.880
Well, remember, we're gonna apply all the rules

1103
00:53:15.880 --> 00:53:17.400
to find out whether they're scammers

1104
00:53:17.400 --> 00:53:18.520
or whether they're up to no good.

1105
00:53:18.520 --> 00:53:21.680
But I will tell you that there is a thing

1106
00:53:22.320 --> 00:53:23.800
a trend kind of right now

1107
00:53:23.800 --> 00:53:26.400
where a lot of women are marrying younger men.

1108
00:53:27.240 --> 00:53:28.560
I've never seen anything like it,

1109
00:53:28.560 --> 00:53:30.320
but it definitely is happening.

1110
00:53:30.320 --> 00:53:34.520
And so I'm here for it, honestly.

1111
00:53:34.520 --> 00:53:38.400
But at the same time, you're gonna have to make sure

1112
00:53:38.400 --> 00:53:40.240
that you're applying the rules of scammers

1113
00:53:40.240 --> 00:53:42.080
or men that are trying to manipulate,

1114
00:53:42.080 --> 00:53:45.600
make sure that you're doing that so you're safe.

1115
00:53:45.600 --> 00:53:48.920
But at the same time, men are really bad judge of age,

1116
00:53:48.920 --> 00:53:50.680
just first and foremost.

1117
00:53:50.680 --> 00:53:53.200
And it's very possible that they think

1118
00:53:53.200 --> 00:53:56.000
that you're their same age, or they're just attracted

1119
00:53:56.000 --> 00:53:58.280
to women that are a little bit more mature than them.

1120
00:53:58.280 --> 00:54:00.480
So those are all possibilities.

1121
00:54:00.480 --> 00:54:02.040
And then them being scammers

1122
00:54:02.040 --> 00:54:04.080
or up to no good is also a possibility.

1123
00:54:04.080 --> 00:54:06.040
So you gotta check it all out.

1124
00:54:06.040 --> 00:54:08.160
Now, I will say this about dating apps, you guys,

1125
00:54:08.160 --> 00:54:10.440
and there is exceptions to this rule,

1126
00:54:10.440 --> 00:54:12.080
but I see them very rarely.

1127
00:54:12.080 --> 00:54:13.640
So please believe me.

1128
00:54:13.640 --> 00:54:15.600
If someone reaches out to you,

1129
00:54:15.600 --> 00:54:19.320
and the pictures on their profile

1130
00:54:19.360 --> 00:54:22.040
are way out of your league,

1131
00:54:22.040 --> 00:54:24.840
gentlemen, if the lady is way out of your league,

1132
00:54:24.840 --> 00:54:29.400
like it would be a miracle if a woman that young

1133
00:54:29.400 --> 00:54:33.040
or that hot, you know, the kids are calling them baddies.

1134
00:54:33.040 --> 00:54:34.720
If she's such a baddie that you're like,

1135
00:54:34.720 --> 00:54:37.480
oh, I can't believe this, then don't believe it

1136
00:54:37.480 --> 00:54:38.680
because it's a scam.

1137
00:54:39.560 --> 00:54:40.720
Ladies, same thing.

1138
00:54:40.720 --> 00:54:42.960
If he looks like the picture that you take

1139
00:54:42.960 --> 00:54:47.560
out of the frame that you just bought, use caution.

1140
00:54:48.400 --> 00:54:49.800
Use caution.

1141
00:54:49.800 --> 00:54:51.520
I'm not saying that you can't pull

1142
00:54:51.520 --> 00:54:53.160
a really hot guy like that,

1143
00:54:53.160 --> 00:54:58.000
but if you never have, then please use caution

1144
00:54:58.000 --> 00:55:00.160
because that is usually the first red.

1145
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:02.480
flag in the situation. Okay, iPhone, you're up.

1146
00:55:06.920 --> 00:55:10.560
If you had a lot of trauma from your past, but you've been like

1147
00:55:10.560 --> 00:55:13.240
working through it, you're in therapy, you're doing EMDR,

1148
00:55:13.240 --> 00:55:16.880
you've done heart work, you've read the books, you're working

1149
00:55:16.880 --> 00:55:22.040
through it with the Lord. At what point, like, are you healed

1150
00:55:22.040 --> 00:55:24.440
enough to be in a healthy relationship so that you're

1151
00:55:24.440 --> 00:55:27.920
attracting the energy you're actually looking for and putting

1152
00:55:27.920 --> 00:55:32.560
out there rather than getting someone who matches the trauma

1153
00:55:32.560 --> 00:55:33.360
from before?

1154
00:55:34.040 --> 00:55:37.160
Yeah, really great question. So here's the thing, I think that

1155
00:55:37.160 --> 00:55:42.360
we can only do so much work on our own. And so much work

1156
00:55:42.360 --> 00:55:44.720
outside of relationships. So I've always taught this, I've

1157
00:55:44.720 --> 00:55:47.080
taught this since the beginning is that, you know, we're hurting

1158
00:55:47.080 --> 00:55:50.120
relationship, and we're also healed in relationship, hurting

1159
00:55:50.120 --> 00:55:52.400
family, healed in family, hurting marriage, healed in

1160
00:55:52.400 --> 00:55:56.320
marriage. And so the future relationship that you have out

1161
00:55:56.320 --> 00:55:59.120
there is going to be part of your healing. And you're never

1162
00:55:59.120 --> 00:56:03.680
going to really know where you still have work to do, unless

1163
00:56:03.680 --> 00:56:08.840
you just go out there and try. You know, I'm saying, so if you

1164
00:56:08.840 --> 00:56:11.360
get back out there, you're dating and you start seeing and

1165
00:56:11.360 --> 00:56:13.760
remember, you know, you have to ask God, teach me, show me, heal

1166
00:56:13.760 --> 00:56:16.440
me, grow me. That's my favorite prayer from last year single.

1167
00:56:16.680 --> 00:56:19.960
It's a prayer that I pray all the time. Say God, you know, if

1168
00:56:19.960 --> 00:56:23.520
I if I start getting triggered, show me why if I start operating

1169
00:56:23.520 --> 00:56:28.360
in an old pattern of, you know, ignoring the red flags, you

1170
00:56:28.360 --> 00:56:32.520
know, too hot, too fast, all the things, then show me where that

1171
00:56:32.520 --> 00:56:35.560
root is coming from. You see the fruit clearly now, right?

1172
00:56:35.560 --> 00:56:37.560
Hopefully you have that level of healing where you can see the

1173
00:56:37.560 --> 00:56:40.080
fruit that you don't want in your life. Now we have to find

1174
00:56:40.080 --> 00:56:43.760
the root. And there's no better way to do that than trial and

1175
00:56:43.760 --> 00:56:45.400
error out there in the dating world.

1176
00:56:47.800 --> 00:56:51.400
Okay. Okay, that thought is still terrifying, but okay.

1177
00:56:51.880 --> 00:56:54.280
I know it's terrifying. But here, you don't have to go far

1178
00:56:54.280 --> 00:56:57.560
into these relationships if they're not the right thing. But

1179
00:56:57.560 --> 00:57:00.720
if all of a sudden you see, oh, I'm only attracting this kind of

1180
00:57:00.720 --> 00:57:04.240
person, then that's where you go back to the prayer board. And

1181
00:57:04.240 --> 00:57:06.760
you say, Okay, God, I'm only attracting this kind of person,

1182
00:57:06.760 --> 00:57:09.400
the person that, you know, says that they want to meet up, but

1183
00:57:09.400 --> 00:57:12.160
then they just they never respond. They never actually

1184
00:57:12.160 --> 00:57:15.920
make the plans. What's up with this? You know, am I is there

1185
00:57:15.920 --> 00:57:18.560
something that I need to be doing? You know, or thinking

1186
00:57:18.560 --> 00:57:20.280
about myself? Or is there something that I should just be

1187
00:57:20.280 --> 00:57:23.520
doing sooner in the situation to vet this out? So I don't get

1188
00:57:23.520 --> 00:57:27.360
disappointed. You know, friends, this is all data. I want you to

1189
00:57:27.360 --> 00:57:29.920
get to a place where you don't take any of this personally.

1190
00:57:30.560 --> 00:57:34.800
Because all it is is information that helps you see your

1191
00:57:34.800 --> 00:57:39.400
patterns, and helps you see the path to success. Does that make

1192
00:57:39.400 --> 00:57:46.760
sense to everyone? Take our egos completely out of it. Okay, got

1193
00:57:46.760 --> 00:57:49.760
to take our ego out of dating. Because there's a lot of broken

1194
00:57:49.760 --> 00:57:51.560
people out there. And we already know there's a broken

1195
00:57:51.560 --> 00:57:54.440
system. And so if we're going to be on the apps, or we're going

1196
00:57:54.440 --> 00:57:56.760
to go to singles events, or speed dating events, like one

1197
00:57:56.760 --> 00:57:59.080
girl, you know, she's crying her eyes out, because she finally

1198
00:57:59.080 --> 00:58:05.560
got out there. She lost 174 pounds. So proud of her

1199
00:58:05.560 --> 00:58:11.200
incredible, amazing. She lost an entire grown man in weight. She

1200
00:58:11.200 --> 00:58:14.760
looks great. She's out there. She put herself out there. She's

1201
00:58:14.760 --> 00:58:18.600
dating. And, you know, after the speed dating event, the speed

1202
00:58:18.600 --> 00:58:22.480
daters, they email you if anyone wanted to, you know, meet

1203
00:58:22.480 --> 00:58:26.880
you or take it further, and no one was interested. But that's

1204
00:58:26.880 --> 00:58:30.640
not the win. The win was that she got herself out there,

1205
00:58:30.640 --> 00:58:34.400
right? Isn't that the win for her? And the win for you could

1206
00:58:34.400 --> 00:58:37.400
be that you don't stay, you know, three months in a

1207
00:58:37.400 --> 00:58:40.360
relationship that's not heading anywhere, because you can spot

1208
00:58:40.360 --> 00:58:44.720
it. Now. The win for you could be that you don't go on a second

1209
00:58:44.720 --> 00:58:48.160
date with someone who, you know, is disrespecting your

1210
00:58:48.160 --> 00:58:53.040
boundaries. Maybe the win, I'm just meddling now. But

1211
00:58:53.040 --> 00:58:55.560
sometimes, you know, I am a Christian, for those of you that

1212
00:58:55.560 --> 00:58:59.080
aren't, you know, love to introduce you to my friend

1213
00:58:59.080 --> 00:59:03.840
Jesus. But, you know, Holy Spirit sometimes breaks into my

1214
00:59:04.440 --> 00:59:07.520
consciousness here. And I just really feel like saying that

1215
00:59:07.520 --> 00:59:10.000
some of you the wins gonna be that you don't sleep with the

1216
00:59:10.000 --> 00:59:12.960
person in the first month. And I know that we're all just like,

1217
00:59:13.680 --> 00:59:19.800
Jackie, who would do that? Somebody? That's somebody's

1218
00:59:19.800 --> 00:59:24.240
pattern, you know, and no judgment. We all do. We all we

1219
00:59:24.240 --> 00:59:28.000
all have things that are still connected to, you know, the

1220
00:59:28.000 --> 00:59:32.840
hurting us the traumatized us the us that's performing for

1221
00:59:32.840 --> 00:59:36.560
other people trying to get them to love us back. And, you know,

1222
00:59:36.560 --> 00:59:39.400
so you guys, we're all going to have different types of wins.

1223
00:59:39.400 --> 00:59:43.280
And so my friend that I was just talking to get out there

1224
00:59:43.320 --> 00:59:46.560
and get some wins because even if you get new information about

1225
00:59:46.560 --> 00:59:50.800
where you still need healing, a wins a win. All right, Susan,

1226
00:59:50.800 --> 00:59:51.320
what do you got?

1227
00:59:52.840 --> 00:59:56.120
Hi, I actually have a date tomorrow with someone who's 14

1228
00:59:56.120 --> 00:59:58.040
years younger than me. So speaking of this whole young

1229
00:59:58.040 --> 00:59:59.800
trend, I'm getting asked out by guys like

1230
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:02.880
15 to 19 years younger than me all the time.

1231
01:00:02.880 --> 01:00:05.240
But they're actually more assertive and aggressive

1232
01:00:05.240 --> 01:00:06.640
than like the guys my age.

1233
01:00:06.640 --> 01:00:07.480
So I'm-

1234
01:00:07.480 --> 01:00:08.680
And in person, you're going in person.

1235
01:00:08.680 --> 01:00:09.520
In person, yeah.

1236
01:00:09.520 --> 01:00:10.640
You gotta date.

1237
01:00:10.640 --> 01:00:12.940
Yeah, like we've been on the phone for a few weeks

1238
01:00:12.940 --> 01:00:14.160
and he's very mature.

1239
01:00:14.160 --> 01:00:16.980
I'm the most impressed out of like the last year

1240
01:00:16.980 --> 01:00:19.200
being on dating apps, I'm the most impressed with him.

1241
01:00:19.200 --> 01:00:24.200
So I'm open, but that leads me to my question about prenup.

1242
01:00:24.200 --> 01:00:26.040
So I definitely need a prenup.

1243
01:00:26.040 --> 01:00:27.800
And how soon do you bring that up?

1244
01:00:28.800 --> 01:00:30.040
I wouldn't bring that up

1245
01:00:30.040 --> 01:00:32.080
unless the relationship's getting serious.

1246
01:00:32.080 --> 01:00:32.920
Okay.

1247
01:00:32.920 --> 01:00:35.160
Because I mean, yeah, you're for Jimmy,

1248
01:00:35.160 --> 01:00:37.560
you were a junior high when he was born.

1249
01:00:37.560 --> 01:00:38.720
And so, you know,

1250
01:00:38.720 --> 01:00:41.600
you probably have accumulated more things than him.

1251
01:00:41.600 --> 01:00:44.360
Not always, you know, some of these young guys,

1252
01:00:44.360 --> 01:00:45.940
you know, they're hustlers.

1253
01:00:45.940 --> 01:00:47.780
They get out there, they make it happen.

1254
01:00:47.780 --> 01:00:48.640
But how old are you?

1255
01:00:48.640 --> 01:00:49.620
Just curious.

1256
01:00:49.620 --> 01:00:50.620
44.

1257
01:00:50.620 --> 01:00:51.600
Okay.

1258
01:00:51.600 --> 01:00:52.440
Wow.

1259
01:00:53.680 --> 01:00:55.400
He's 30 years old.

1260
01:00:55.400 --> 01:00:56.280
He's 30, yeah.

1261
01:00:56.280 --> 01:00:59.120
And I actually went on a date with a 25 year old on accident

1262
01:00:59.120 --> 01:01:00.720
because I didn't realize, and he was so hot.

1263
01:01:00.720 --> 01:01:02.320
I'm not gonna lie.

1264
01:01:02.320 --> 01:01:04.840
And yes, I was very flattered.

1265
01:01:04.840 --> 01:01:05.680
Someone from the gym.

1266
01:01:05.680 --> 01:01:06.500
Oh my gosh.

1267
01:01:06.500 --> 01:01:08.080
Okay, so are you a believer?

1268
01:01:08.080 --> 01:01:08.900
Are you a Christian?

1269
01:01:08.900 --> 01:01:09.740
Yes.

1270
01:01:09.740 --> 01:01:10.580
Okay.

1271
01:01:10.580 --> 01:01:11.400
Is this guy a Christian?

1272
01:01:11.400 --> 01:01:12.240
Yes.

1273
01:01:12.240 --> 01:01:13.080
Okay.

1274
01:01:13.080 --> 01:01:13.900
Yeah, like he liked the Christian things

1275
01:01:13.900 --> 01:01:17.480
I had on my profile and he's like wanting a wife

1276
01:01:17.480 --> 01:01:20.540
and he really liked everything I wrote about the Lord.

1277
01:01:20.540 --> 01:01:21.380
Okay.

1278
01:01:21.380 --> 01:01:23.320
Well, hold him to that because, you know,

1279
01:01:23.320 --> 01:01:25.920
he's got high testosterone.

1280
01:01:26.840 --> 01:01:28.960
Hold him to that because I will tell you,

1281
01:01:28.960 --> 01:01:30.600
and this is not necessarily for this guy,

1282
01:01:30.600 --> 01:01:32.520
but one of the trends, I didn't say this before,

1283
01:01:32.520 --> 01:01:33.900
but I'm gonna say this now.

1284
01:01:33.900 --> 01:01:35.500
One of the trends in, you know,

1285
01:01:35.500 --> 01:01:39.440
younger guys liking older women is cuckoo Mrs. Robinson.

1286
01:01:39.440 --> 01:01:41.560
It's pornography and it's, you know,

1287
01:01:41.560 --> 01:01:44.480
the fantasy of an older experienced woman.

1288
01:01:44.480 --> 01:01:46.880
And so not saying that's happening here,

1289
01:01:46.880 --> 01:01:49.040
but definitely ladies watch out for that,

1290
01:01:49.040 --> 01:01:50.960
especially if you're, you know,

1291
01:01:50.960 --> 01:01:54.000
a well-maintained put together older woman.

1292
01:01:54.000 --> 01:01:55.680
Like I'm 51 years old.

1293
01:01:56.440 --> 01:02:00.120
So, you know, when my kids were in high school,

1294
01:02:00.120 --> 01:02:01.480
my kids are in their twenties now,

1295
01:02:01.480 --> 01:02:02.640
but when my kids are in high school,

1296
01:02:02.640 --> 01:02:05.720
I was in my forties and the boys in the school,

1297
01:02:05.720 --> 01:02:07.880
and this is how I found out about this pornography trend.

1298
01:02:07.880 --> 01:02:09.600
It was like, guys know that song,

1299
01:02:09.600 --> 01:02:11.800
"'Stacey's Mom Has Got It Going On."

1300
01:02:11.800 --> 01:02:14.360
Well, that was, my daughter was Kaylee.

1301
01:02:14.360 --> 01:02:16.480
"'Kaylee's Mom Has Got It Going On."

1302
01:02:16.480 --> 01:02:18.960
And she's like, mom, all the guys in my grade,

1303
01:02:18.960 --> 01:02:19.960
this is like 11th grade.

1304
01:02:19.960 --> 01:02:21.580
They're like, they're always asking about you.

1305
01:02:21.580 --> 01:02:23.800
And I'm like, oh, that's so gross.

1306
01:02:23.800 --> 01:02:26.680
And so anyway, ladies be safe.

1307
01:02:26.680 --> 01:02:28.280
We hope this is a great, Susan,

1308
01:02:28.280 --> 01:02:30.920
there's nothing wrong with marrying 14 year olds younger,

1309
01:02:30.920 --> 01:02:34.120
if, you know, he loves God and he's super mature

1310
01:02:34.120 --> 01:02:35.280
and it's awesome.

1311
01:02:35.280 --> 01:02:36.640
Okay, thank you.

1312
01:02:36.640 --> 01:02:37.480
Okay, be careful out there.

1313
01:02:37.480 --> 01:02:38.920
All right.

1314
01:02:38.920 --> 01:02:42.200
Let's see, is Sigi, Sigi, how do I say this?

1315
01:02:42.200 --> 01:02:43.400
Sigi.

1316
01:02:43.400 --> 01:02:44.240
Sigi, I-

1317
01:02:44.240 --> 01:02:45.320
Sigi, yes.

1318
01:02:45.320 --> 01:02:46.160
I love it.

1319
01:02:46.160 --> 01:02:47.000
Okay, is it German?

1320
01:02:47.000 --> 01:02:47.840
Yes.

1321
01:02:47.840 --> 01:02:48.680
Awesome.

1322
01:02:48.680 --> 01:02:50.720
Are you aware, are you in Germany right now?

1323
01:02:50.760 --> 01:02:54.240
Yes, it is 3.23 here in the morning.

1324
01:02:54.240 --> 01:02:56.840
Oh my gosh, that's my daughter's birthday, 3.23.

1325
01:02:56.840 --> 01:02:58.520
You are so committed.

1326
01:02:58.520 --> 01:02:59.400
Lord bless her.

1327
01:02:59.400 --> 01:03:01.080
Okay, what's your question?

1328
01:03:01.080 --> 01:03:04.920
Well, about chemistry and intimacy versus,

1329
01:03:05.920 --> 01:03:06.880
what was it?

1330
01:03:07.840 --> 01:03:09.680
Intensity.

1331
01:03:09.680 --> 01:03:11.760
I'm seeing this guy.

1332
01:03:11.760 --> 01:03:14.880
Well, we went on one date

1333
01:03:14.880 --> 01:03:19.000
and I'm starting to feel a bit attracted to his soul,

1334
01:03:19.000 --> 01:03:20.440
but not to his body.

1335
01:03:21.160 --> 01:03:22.000
So far.

1336
01:03:22.000 --> 01:03:26.040
And I remember you talking about, you know, fixer uppers

1337
01:03:26.040 --> 01:03:29.520
and I don't, I mean, it's pretty fresh

1338
01:03:29.520 --> 01:03:31.640
and he could be a fixer upper, I'm not sure,

1339
01:03:31.640 --> 01:03:33.720
but I don't want to lead him on.

1340
01:03:33.720 --> 01:03:36.320
So I'm a bit unsure.

1341
01:03:36.320 --> 01:03:37.200
Well, here's the thing.

1342
01:03:37.200 --> 01:03:38.280
And ladies and gentlemen,

1343
01:03:38.280 --> 01:03:40.280
all of us that are old enough to know better,

1344
01:03:40.280 --> 01:03:43.200
we know that bodies start to break down when they get older,

1345
01:03:43.200 --> 01:03:44.960
especially if they haven't been maintained.

1346
01:03:44.960 --> 01:03:46.880
And some people didn't have a lot to work with

1347
01:03:46.880 --> 01:03:48.560
in the first place, you know,

1348
01:03:48.560 --> 01:03:50.880
as far as conventional attractiveness.

1349
01:03:50.880 --> 01:03:53.120
And so when it comes to our type, it comes from chemistry.

1350
01:03:53.120 --> 01:03:55.560
You've only been out one time in person, right?

1351
01:03:55.560 --> 01:03:58.400
Yeah, one time for a date.

1352
01:03:58.400 --> 01:04:01.640
And one time I stopped by because I was on the road

1353
01:04:01.640 --> 01:04:04.200
for like 10 minutes because it's long distance

1354
01:04:04.200 --> 01:04:05.640
and I was in the area.

1355
01:04:05.640 --> 01:04:07.560
So I saw him twice.

1356
01:04:07.560 --> 01:04:10.680
Okay, but you do like him as a person.

1357
01:04:10.680 --> 01:04:12.880
You do feel attracted to, okay.

1358
01:04:12.880 --> 01:04:14.440
So you guys, what I'm saying is,

1359
01:04:14.440 --> 01:04:16.920
is that this doesn't usually apply to men.

1360
01:04:17.360 --> 01:04:19.800
Men usually need there to be, you know,

1361
01:04:19.800 --> 01:04:22.200
some kind of certainty pretty quickly.

1362
01:04:22.200 --> 01:04:24.680
Most men tell me that they knew within the first few dates

1363
01:04:24.680 --> 01:04:27.960
that that was the woman that they wanted to pursue to marry.

1364
01:04:27.960 --> 01:04:31.920
But for women, men can grow on us more, okay.

1365
01:04:31.920 --> 01:04:35.720
As far as personality and, because once again,

1366
01:04:35.720 --> 01:04:37.520
you know, there's, you know,

1367
01:04:37.520 --> 01:04:40.760
there's a situation where we can help them with the outside

1368
01:04:40.760 --> 01:04:42.120
if they haven't, you know,

1369
01:04:42.120 --> 01:04:45.120
if they aren't dressing that great or, you know,

1370
01:04:45.200 --> 01:04:47.360
they just, whatever, it doesn't matter.

1371
01:04:47.360 --> 01:04:49.200
Now, the only way, the only reason that I'd say

1372
01:04:49.200 --> 01:04:51.080
that there'd be a caveat here

1373
01:04:51.080 --> 01:04:54.120
is if someone really hasn't taken care of their health

1374
01:04:54.120 --> 01:04:55.840
and it's just really a turnoff.

1375
01:04:55.840 --> 01:04:58.400
It's an ick if someone just, you know,

1376
01:04:58.400 --> 01:05:00.240
they just let themselves completely.

1377
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:04.640
go and they're unhealthy in a lot of ways, you can love their personality, you can love

1378
01:05:04.640 --> 01:05:10.480
their sense of humor, and you can still be really put off by their, you know, their lack

1379
01:05:10.480 --> 01:05:12.320
of care for themselves.

1380
01:05:12.320 --> 01:05:15.520
But if it's just that they're not your type, and it's not just what you a lot of people

1381
01:05:15.520 --> 01:05:20.120
run into this, this isn't what I pictured for myself, this isn't what I pictured myself

1382
01:05:20.120 --> 01:05:24.780
dating, or this isn't the person that I pictured being attracted to or being with.

1383
01:05:24.780 --> 01:05:26.940
If that's all it is, you can overcome it.

1384
01:05:26.940 --> 01:05:28.940
But I wouldn't give it too many more times.

1385
01:05:28.940 --> 01:05:33.620
Because it's long distance, though, it's going to be harder, because you can't be in person.

1386
01:05:33.620 --> 01:05:36.000
How long distance are we talking?

1387
01:05:36.000 --> 01:05:38.780
It's one and a half hours by car.

1388
01:05:38.780 --> 01:05:45.060
I definitely would try to get back in person at least one more time, maybe two to see especially

1389
01:05:45.060 --> 01:05:49.420
if there are things about him that you really enjoy as a person, because you'd be amazed

1390
01:05:49.420 --> 01:05:53.820
at what you could become physically attracted to as long as it isn't, like I said, someone

1391
01:05:53.820 --> 01:05:55.500
who's just let themselves go.

1392
01:05:55.580 --> 01:06:03.100
Yeah, well, I'm going to visit him this Saturday, and we're going to cook together.

1393
01:06:03.100 --> 01:06:06.740
And he's actually, I guess he's a good cook.

1394
01:06:06.740 --> 01:06:13.300
And he offered me, I'm moving in August, and he actually offered me to help me build up

1395
01:06:13.300 --> 01:06:14.620
my kitchen.

1396
01:06:14.620 --> 01:06:21.260
In Germany, when you move, there's no kitchens in apartments, you have to buy your own kitchen.

1397
01:06:21.260 --> 01:06:24.940
And he offered me to actually come and help me for a week.

1398
01:06:25.380 --> 01:06:28.460
And I'm like, wow, this is really generous and nice.

1399
01:06:28.460 --> 01:06:33.860
And I thought of you, you know, how men express their love by helping, you know, fixing the

1400
01:06:33.860 --> 01:06:35.100
cars and stuff.

1401
01:06:35.100 --> 01:06:38.740
So yeah, he's really serious about helping me.

1402
01:06:38.740 --> 01:06:41.020
And he's putting himself out there.

1403
01:06:41.020 --> 01:06:43.460
So I don't want to lead him on, but I really like him.

1404
01:06:43.460 --> 01:06:46.140
I don't think it's called leading him on.

1405
01:06:46.140 --> 01:06:47.960
Okay, so here's what you need to do.

1406
01:06:47.960 --> 01:06:51.460
So when you see him and you're cooking together, and who knows, I could be super sexy.

1407
01:06:51.460 --> 01:06:52.860
And then you could be like, oh, yeah, I like him.

1408
01:06:52.860 --> 01:06:53.860
And I like him.

1409
01:06:53.860 --> 01:06:54.860
All right.

1410
01:06:55.780 --> 01:06:58.500
So just let him know that, you know, you're more of a slow burn, that you don't really

1411
01:06:58.500 --> 01:07:00.740
know how you feel about him romantically.

1412
01:07:00.740 --> 01:07:04.820
It's okay to say that you're, you're, you know, the jury's out on that, but you're enjoying

1413
01:07:04.820 --> 01:07:06.220
getting to know him.

1414
01:07:06.220 --> 01:07:08.860
And that's you guys, it's all about communication.

1415
01:07:08.860 --> 01:07:11.180
No one needs to get their feelings hurt or their hearts broken.

1416
01:07:11.180 --> 01:07:15.340
They only get their hearts broken and their feelings hurt when we don't communicate where

1417
01:07:15.340 --> 01:07:16.700
we are.

1418
01:07:16.700 --> 01:07:18.500
And so it's okay for her to communicate that.

1419
01:07:18.500 --> 01:07:24.900
And if he's still when he knows that she's not head over heels with him, yet, that if

1420
01:07:24.900 --> 01:07:28.300
she communicates that and he still wants her to help her build her kitchen and all that,

1421
01:07:28.300 --> 01:07:31.320
then she should let him because one of two things are happening here.

1422
01:07:31.320 --> 01:07:34.420
This is a love story that's a slow burn, and it's going to get there.

1423
01:07:34.420 --> 01:07:41.140
And or God is showing her what it looks like to be cared for by a good man, you know, to

1424
01:07:41.140 --> 01:07:42.620
be supported by a good man.

1425
01:07:42.620 --> 01:07:46.300
And some ladies, some of you ladies really need that you've never experienced a good

1426
01:07:46.300 --> 01:07:47.300
man.

1427
01:07:47.300 --> 01:07:50.500
You've never experienced someone coming and supporting you and helping you.

1428
01:07:50.500 --> 01:07:51.500
And so just make it a win-win.

1429
01:07:51.500 --> 01:07:52.500
Sigi is my singing, right?

1430
01:07:52.500 --> 01:07:53.500
Sigi, Sigi, like a Sigi.

1431
01:07:53.500 --> 01:07:54.500
Yes.

1432
01:07:54.500 --> 01:07:55.500
That's how I'm going to remember it.

1433
01:07:55.500 --> 01:08:02.500
That's what we used to say when we were like 10th grade.

1434
01:08:02.500 --> 01:08:03.500
Okay.

1435
01:08:03.500 --> 01:08:08.520
So just, you know, just make sure you're paying it forward with him, you know, like you're

1436
01:08:08.520 --> 01:08:11.640
also being very kind to him and it's just going to be a win-win.

1437
01:08:11.640 --> 01:08:14.120
So I don't think that you need to decide anything yet.

1438
01:08:14.120 --> 01:08:16.960
Just be very honest about where you are.

1439
01:08:17.620 --> 01:08:23.060
Did I communicate that for me, it's not exclusive yet, or do I not need to communicate?

1440
01:08:23.060 --> 01:08:24.740
Is he exclusive with you?

1441
01:08:24.740 --> 01:08:25.740
I don't know.

1442
01:08:25.740 --> 01:08:30.340
I see him active on the app, but he's very attentive.

1443
01:08:30.340 --> 01:08:34.760
I don't think that if you, I don't think you need to bring that up because he hasn't brought

1444
01:08:34.760 --> 01:08:35.760
it up.

1445
01:08:35.760 --> 01:08:38.460
And that's a male dominated conversation, right?

1446
01:08:38.460 --> 01:08:40.740
You guys want a man wants to be with you.

1447
01:08:40.740 --> 01:08:46.460
He's going to ask you to be, you know, whatever, to only see him, to be his girlfriend.

1448
01:08:46.960 --> 01:08:48.100
I mean, girlfriend, isn't that ridiculous?

1449
01:08:48.100 --> 01:08:51.000
You guys, girlfriends are for high school, but we don't have a better word for this.

1450
01:08:51.000 --> 01:08:53.279
We don't have a better word for this right now.

1451
01:08:53.279 --> 01:08:54.279
Okay.

1452
01:08:54.279 --> 01:08:56.680
We're out here in our fifties talking about girlfriend, boyfriend.

1453
01:08:56.680 --> 01:08:57.680
Okay.

1454
01:08:57.680 --> 01:09:00.040
He's very freshly divorced, actually.

1455
01:09:00.040 --> 01:09:01.040
Okay.

1456
01:09:01.040 --> 01:09:03.560
Well, he's, you know what?

1457
01:09:03.560 --> 01:09:07.899
It sounds like he really enjoys you and he's investing in you right now.

1458
01:09:07.899 --> 01:09:09.840
And I would just, let's just see where it goes.

1459
01:09:09.840 --> 01:09:13.479
I don't think you need to say, Hey, I'm still seeing other people.

1460
01:09:13.479 --> 01:09:15.920
He hasn't asked, so you don't have to tell.

1461
01:09:16.380 --> 01:09:17.380
Okay.

1462
01:09:17.380 --> 01:09:18.380
Okay.

1463
01:09:18.380 --> 01:09:19.380
Thank you.

1464
01:09:19.380 --> 01:09:20.380
You're welcome.

1465
01:09:20.380 --> 01:09:21.380
All right.

1466
01:09:21.380 --> 01:09:22.380
All right.

1467
01:09:22.380 --> 01:09:23.380
I have two more here.

1468
01:09:23.380 --> 01:09:24.380
Elizabeth Stewart.

1469
01:09:24.380 --> 01:09:25.380
Go ahead.

1470
01:09:25.380 --> 01:09:26.380
Hi, good afternoon.

1471
01:09:26.380 --> 01:09:34.939
Um, I dropped in the chat regarding, uh, just curious your thoughts on dating someone who

1472
01:09:34.939 --> 01:09:42.740
is in the process of divorce, but not fully divorced yet versus don't date at all.

1473
01:09:43.319 --> 01:09:46.479
Don't date that person until they're done with that.

1474
01:09:46.479 --> 01:09:48.680
So just curious your feedback.

1475
01:09:48.680 --> 01:09:49.760
Okay.

1476
01:09:49.760 --> 01:09:54.480
So here's the thing in a perfect world, we wouldn't date anyone until they are fully

1477
01:09:54.480 --> 01:09:58.920
legally on paper by the courts, by the laws of the land divorced.

1478
01:09:58.920 --> 01:09:59.920
Okay.

1479
01:09:59.920 --> 01:09:59.920


1480
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:04.880
For those of you that are Christians that are not having sex with people outside of covenant marriage,

1481
01:10:04.880 --> 01:10:10.320
I think that sometimes there are situations where people's divorces take a really long time

1482
01:10:10.960 --> 01:10:16.720
to be discharged. In America, it can take up to two years, depending on where you live. In Canada,

1483
01:10:16.720 --> 01:10:21.760
it can take even longer. And, you know, those people are not living together. They may have

1484
01:10:21.760 --> 01:10:26.480
been separated for years before they even filed for divorce. So I've had situations where this

1485
01:10:26.480 --> 01:10:30.960
person has not been with their former spouse for five years. They were separated, legally

1486
01:10:30.960 --> 01:10:36.000
separated for years. Then they were, you know, in divorce proceedings with bankruptcies and child

1487
01:10:36.000 --> 01:10:40.960
custody things. Just know that if you do date someone, I'm not going to make a hard, fast rule

1488
01:10:40.960 --> 01:10:46.160
here because you have to decide, is this person healed? Have they done the work? Have they been,

1489
01:10:46.160 --> 01:10:50.880
you know, are they just rebounding? That's on all of you to decide. You know, the people I don't,

1490
01:10:50.880 --> 01:10:54.720
but I do know that there are some specialized situations. Do I think it's a sin to date

1491
01:10:54.720 --> 01:11:00.480
someone who's, you know, legally married? No, because covenants are broken when abandonment

1492
01:11:00.480 --> 01:11:06.480
occurs. Covenants are broken when people say and decide to break them. They're not broken in,

1493
01:11:06.480 --> 01:11:13.040
you know, American courts by case numbers and separation of assets. They are broken before God

1494
01:11:13.040 --> 01:11:20.640
when they're broken. And so in my opinion, this can go really wrong when someone is not healed,

1495
01:11:20.640 --> 01:11:24.880
when they are rebounding, when there's all kinds of drama with their former spouse,

1496
01:11:24.880 --> 01:11:30.000
and it can be just fine if, you know, if it's an amicable divorce and you're just waiting for

1497
01:11:30.000 --> 01:11:35.120
legalities to, you know, T's to be crossed and I's to be dotted. So I don't want to answer that

1498
01:11:35.120 --> 01:11:40.560
black or white. I want to just put the ball on your court to really do some deep, you know,

1499
01:11:40.560 --> 01:11:45.200
question asking to find out where that person is and what's really happening.

1500
01:11:45.520 --> 01:11:50.240
Thanks. You're welcome. All right. And Danielle, what's your question?

1501
01:11:50.960 --> 01:11:57.520
It's about finances and kind of non-negotiable versus preference. But at this point in my life,

1502
01:11:57.520 --> 01:12:04.880
having a prior career, a business and assets, whereas I did not have this 10, 12 years ago in

1503
01:12:04.880 --> 01:12:10.240
my life when I was dating in my twenties, I really struggled to admire a man who makes less money

1504
01:12:10.400 --> 01:12:15.040
admire a man who makes less money than me. What would you say to that?

1505
01:12:16.080 --> 01:12:22.080
I'd say that I get it. And you're at an age bracket where we want to have seen someone we

1506
01:12:22.080 --> 01:12:29.680
want to see someone to, we want to see someone have already achieved potential, right? Because,

1507
01:12:29.680 --> 01:12:34.880
you know, you're, we're not, we're not teenagers. We're not in our college years. We're older than

1508
01:12:34.880 --> 01:12:41.600
that. But I will say that it's not really about what a man has earned or what he has. It's about

1509
01:12:41.600 --> 01:12:48.640
where he's headed and it's about what he's working on and where his passions lie and what's his plan.

1510
01:12:48.640 --> 01:12:53.120
Friends, all of you, without exception, I don't care how old or young you are,

1511
01:12:53.120 --> 01:12:58.000
you're partnering to build with someone. And so let's make sure that we're on the same page about

1512
01:12:58.000 --> 01:13:04.000
what building looks like, that we have the same desires to build. Okay. And so you need to match

1513
01:13:04.000 --> 01:13:08.080
that. You don't have to match seasons. You know, your guy may be in a season where he's not fully

1514
01:13:08.080 --> 01:13:13.760
developed his full potential yet, but he's headed there because he's a hard worker. He's diligent.

1515
01:13:13.760 --> 01:13:18.800
He has a plan. He has purpose. He's working towards those things. That to me is more important

1516
01:13:18.800 --> 01:13:24.160
than how much a person has in the bank. You know, my husband was in a really rough spot when I met

1517
01:13:24.160 --> 01:13:28.320
him. Remember he got with the divorce and the bankruptcy and he had the clunker car and all

1518
01:13:28.320 --> 01:13:35.120
the things, but he also was a hard worker. He was very divinely masculine, mature marriage-minded.

1519
01:13:35.120 --> 01:13:41.200
He was a great father. He had great work ethic. He's so talented and he was working on building

1520
01:13:41.200 --> 01:13:45.120
some things. He's an entrepreneur. We had the same hearts in a lot of ways. And guess what?

1521
01:13:45.120 --> 01:13:50.000
We've built a lot of amazing things together. So let's make sure that we are measuring the

1522
01:13:50.000 --> 01:13:57.520
right things and not the wrong things. Makes sense. All right, you guys, we are at time 834.

1523
01:13:57.520 --> 01:14:01.280
If you had a question that didn't get answered, please just go ahead and put it in the app. I will

1524
01:14:01.280 --> 01:14:05.600
be answering up until Sunday. You guys, thank you so much for joining me for Modern Dating

1525
01:14:06.400 --> 01:14:13.520
Sucks Book Club. You will have access to all the materials, all the replays, all the way until

1526
01:14:14.560 --> 01:14:19.920
August, the end of August. And please make sure that you take advantage of that. Look in your

1527
01:14:19.920 --> 01:14:26.400
resources or your coursework for Don't Let the Momentum End or Don't Let This End or whatever

1528
01:14:26.400 --> 01:14:30.720
it's called and Rollover. Also look in your email for Rollover and Last Year's Single. I'd love to

1529
01:14:30.720 --> 01:14:36.480
see you there. I will be answering any questions that are in the app up until Sunday. And then as

1530
01:14:36.480 --> 01:14:42.080
of Monday, the question community portion of your app will disappear. Okay. And then everything else

1531
01:14:42.080 --> 01:14:46.400
will be there for replay. I'd love to see you in our community. I'd love to see you in Last Year's

1532
01:14:46.400 --> 01:14:52.080
Single. I'd love to see you and help you matchmake yourself and others. And so I'm just going to pray

1533
01:14:52.080 --> 01:14:56.080
for all of you. Father God, I'm so thankful for your sons and daughters and for their time that

1534
01:14:56.080 --> 01:14:59.920
they invested in their own love stories. I pray God that they would have the courage.

1535
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:03.680
to co-write love stories with you, that they would no longer be waiting for you just to write it,

1536
01:15:03.680 --> 01:15:07.120
that they have courage to co-write it. They have courage, Lord, to step out,

1537
01:15:07.120 --> 01:15:11.040
not just to put themselves out there, but to put themselves out there confidently

1538
01:15:11.040 --> 01:15:15.280
as a matchmaker. You are the ultimate matchmaker, but we are all matchmakers.

1539
01:15:15.280 --> 01:15:20.640
We're the junior matchmakers that work with you, partner with you, agree with you on who we are

1540
01:15:20.640 --> 01:15:25.280
and what you have for us. And so, Lord, I pray that they have the confidence to do that going

1541
01:15:25.280 --> 01:15:30.400
forward. I pray that everything that they've learned here is put into practice. They don't

1542
01:15:30.400 --> 01:15:34.400
come out of this book club dating the same way that they did, that they're very readily see

1543
01:15:34.400 --> 01:15:38.640
their patterns and see the things that are sabotaging them and tripping them up so that

1544
01:15:38.640 --> 01:15:43.440
they can overcome those obstacles and step into the love story that I know you've had for them

1545
01:15:43.440 --> 01:15:48.560
all along. And so I thank you for it. I pray that all those that should go forward into last year

1546
01:15:48.560 --> 01:15:51.760
single and to heart work that need to do maybe some deeper work, get out of their own way,

1547
01:15:51.760 --> 01:15:55.920
get out of your way that they go ahead and take a chance with that. Everybody else, father,

1548
01:15:55.920 --> 01:16:00.320
I pray they'd be spotlighted by heaven and that they would meet their spirit mate soon

1549
01:16:00.320 --> 01:16:04.000
in Jesus name. Amen. All right, friends. Thank you so much. I'll see you soon.