All right. Welcome, ladies. It is already Tuesday, July 21st. It is our one o'clock
Eastern call for phase two, Love Story Accelerator, last year's single. So good to see everybody
here. I think we've got some more people jumping on with us. So, so good to see everyone on.
I don't see any brand new ladies, I don't believe. If I'm mistaken, please let me know.
I definitely want to know if you're brand new here, if this is your first time in phase
two. No worries, Nancy, if you're just getting out of the shower. You don't have to turn
your camera on for that if you don't want to. We just definitely, you know, I think,
I don't know if you've ever been on a supernatural Saturday and Jackie has given us this warning
before about not having our cameras on if we are changing and getting dressed, because
there, I guess, have been times where that has happened. I don't ever recall a time,
but then again, when I'm on supernatural Saturday, I'm usually laying in bed and I don't like
having my camera on. Sometimes I'm always worried it pops on and then, like, no one
needs to see me, like, laying in bed. But so, yeah, no worries. So get yourself ready.
And then once you're ready, you can you can put your camera on if you need to. All right.
So all right. Good, good, good. I'm seeing more people join. Fantastic. I got nobody
putting their cameras on. So everybody must be at work or getting ready. Something. Oh,
I see. Is it Sarai? Sarai, I haven't seen you in a minute. I'm on summer break as a
teacher. So I have a couple of about a week and a half left before I have to go back to
work. So, girl, it's so good to see you. Oh, I've missed you. Thank you, Laura. I appreciate
it. My hair was pretty greasy today, so I curled it. That's kind of what I do if I don't
want to shower my hair. I shower. I just don't like to wash my hair. It's a chore. So I appreciate
it. But let's go ahead and get started. I don't want to take up so much time in this
beginning portion. I definitely want to be mindful of that. That's definitely one of
those areas that I always am trying to grow in because you ladies know I can definitely
have a lot of words. So let's go ahead and get started to make sure everyone is muted.
Hey, Sarah, good to see you. She's on camera for me, too. Thank you so much. She just came.
She must have just come back from Greece. She was like traveling the world and showing us
the pictures and making me jealous. It was beautiful. Okay. So yeah, I definitely want
to get started. Let's go ahead and start off with some housekeeping real quick. I don't want to take
up too much time. There's really no new information. But for the sake of replays and if anybody's
brand new, we definitely want to hit those things. I don't think anybody needs an introduction
of who I am. But if you are in replay, I am Carla Johnson. I am one of the coaches here
at Last Year Single. I've been with Jackie since the beginning of the whole movement
here in 2020. So I was where you're at, where you're sitting, and I am a success story.
So I'm coming up on a three-year wedding anniversary here in September. And then I've been coaching
now for, gosh, it has been almost close to three years. So once we get me through that
three-year wedding anniversary, pretty quickly after I got through all the wedding planning
and the wedding and Jackie officiated our wedding, I then jumped into the coaching seat.
So I didn't have to get kicked out of the program. But it was a blessing and an honor
and a privilege to be able to be asked to do that because this community was such a
blessing to me. God just did some pretty incredible things through what Jackie was
obedient to and what he was just doing in this movement and is still continuing to do.
That just being able to pour that back in and walk alongside all of you has been such
an honor, such a blessing. It's been such a growing opportunity for me and God is still
continuing to use the hard work for me in so many areas.
And so, I'm so, so grateful for that.
Modern Dating Sex Book Club, that was underway on Sunday.
So, I think some of you ladies are in that.
Super excited for you.
I know when you all are in that, you are being asked to not date.
So, if you jumped into Phase 2 and you're like,
and you're like, yay, I get to date.
And then you've jumped into the Modern Dating Sex Book Club,
then Jackie's like, nope, you're not dating.
Don't worry, okay?
Like, hang tight.
You can stay in Phase 2 while you're working through the book club.
And then, once you get, once you finish the book club,
you can then jump into dating.
But that doesn't mean that you don't get to participate in Phase 2 during that time.
You can still come to lives.
You can still participate.
I know a lot of you ladies, even those of you that are open to dating,
and there's no, you know, you're not in the book club,
maybe you are putting a pause on dating for right now.
Or you're still working through a couple things with the Lord,
and He hasn't released you to start dating yet.
And so, that's totally fine, too.
That was me when I was in this community.
It took me a hot minute to get myself out there and start dating.
God had other things and other areas that He was growing me in.
And so, it didn't mean that I couldn't apply the things that I learned in heart work.
And that I wasn't able to absorb a lot of the content that was around dating
and what other women were experiencing.
Because Phase 1 is where you're learning the heart work,
and you're applying it to yourself and some of the things that you maybe had in your past.
But Phase 2 is when you actually start applying what you learned
and start utilizing what you've learned.
And so, that in of itself is really, really valuable.
Because one thing that you'll learn is that heart work never ends.
And even after marriage, ladies, I can tell you,
you're going to still use these heart work principles.
Because it's not just for your dating relationships and your marriage.
It's for all relationships.
So, you might not be dating right now, and that's fine.
You can still use this in all your relationships.
Work relationships, family relationships, friendships,
maybe your parenting and your kid relationships.
All sorts of things, okay?
Even with strangers, okay?
Getting to know people.
So, I don't want you to think that you cannot participate if you're not dating.
One thing, ladies, if you could do us a huge favor.
We had another update in our app.
I don't know if some of you have updated your app.
I did, and for some crazy reason, it did not like the update.
My MacBook didn't like the update.
My phone has never liked the app.
So, I've always done it on my computer, and I just recently switched to a Mac.
So, for whatever reason, there's just been a little bit of a challenge.
But regardless, if you've made a post, and you are waiting on a coach to respond,
and we haven't responded, please make a separate post,
because we might have overlooked it.
It's not our intention to overlook it.
I really do diligently try to make through.
I'm combing as best as I can.
One of our admin buttons in the update is now drawing a blank for me.
So, I'm like, ah!
So, I'm really having to do a lot more scrolling.
So, I don't want to miss what y'all are sharing.
And it is really important to me that you all are being coached well,
and that you are being seen, and loved, and heard.
And I really, really do want to steward that well.
And then, if we've commented on your post,
it's really helpful for us to know that you've seen it if you reply back to us.
Okay?
That is so, so helpful.
That at least makes me know, like, oh, okay.
So, she did see that I responded to her.
Okay?
Then, if you do respond to us, and there's another question,
or you want a little bit more feedback to that,
because I do know sometimes we'll ask questions and then you'll come back with another question
and we miss that somehow go ahead and post make another post say hey Carla or Ebony I responded
to you in my last post will you go check it out I've had several ladies do that this week and
it's been super helpful okay resource tab ladies please make sure you're checking that out we've
got one-on-one coaching if you want to hire one of the coaches here at last year's single
it is an additional charge it's not included with your membership fee but many women find
it very useful very helpful if that's something that you are feeling led that you feel you know
that might give you an extra boost that option is available we also have in the resource tab
for you ladies that have been in phase two work through the contact have been here at least five
to six weeks and you're like okay I'm ready to move to phase three it gives you all the
instructions on what you do move phase three okay so make sure you check that out when we get to our
live coaching portion of the call today if you didn't get to ask your question last week
please let me know because I want to make sure that I get your questions kind of first I want
to make sure that I'm really trying to rotate who gets to ask their questions so we're not hearing
from the same like I don't mind that we're hearing from the same people and over and over again
I just want to make sure that we're not skipping the same people and listening to the same ones
over does that make sense I want to get to as many as I can okay um but if I didn't get to you
and you're like okay Carla I've had my hand up for the last couple weeks and we've run out of time
I want to really make sure that we get to you okay so and then if we somehow don't get through
all the calls or all the calls all the questions all the hands um that doesn't mean that we can't
still coach you just put it in the app okay that's and ladies make sure that you're checking
out other people's posts and you're like scrolling through and you're reading um so yes thanks Laura
Laura's had some one-on-one coaching sessions I know several I've had several coaching sessions
with some ladies here in phase two some ladies that are even in phase three I have several that
you know just repeat um and it's been really really helpful but again it doesn't mean that
that's mandatory okay it is helpful if you feel like you need it um and one last thing I think I
had um someone do this for me last week and I know I don't think Kaylee's able to jump on today she
was my helper last week if someone could just keep an eye out on the chat for me I want to make
sure that I'm not missing anything important any important questions so if there's anybody
that can do that and unmute if I've missed something or overlooked something feel free
to interrupt me and say hey Karla there's a question in the chat and and we haven't gotten
to that yet if you could help me out with that I really want to make sure that I'm not missing
anything there um I I tend to do that because I'm focused on getting us through the content so we
can get to the questions um and I also know especially on this one o'clock call I have a
lot of ladies that are working and so they can't unmute so they have to be responding in the chat
and so I don't want to overlook that okay so if I can have an extra pair of eyes helping me out
with that that is huge huge huge and helpful okay all right um looks like we've got 18 ladies plus
myself on that's fantastic all right ladies I'm gonna go ahead and pray for us we're about 15
minutes into our call I feel like I'm making good time yes I gotta I gotta I gotta take the small
wins ladies I gotta take the small wins all right well let me go ahead and start praying for us
and then we will get started hopefully today won't take too long and we will have so much time
for some questions I see lots of ladies on today lots of ladies I don't typically get to see so
I'm excited for that and again if you're brand new please let me know that you're new I don't
want to overlook you I want to welcome you for sure all right so Heavenly Father I just thank
you so much for today I thank you that you are bringing us together for another Tuesday
Lord continue to meet us in every single moment the ordinary moments the difficult moments
the frustrating moments the 10
moments, the soft moments, all the moments, Lord, and that you're using them to
transform our hearts. Lord, I ask that you just help us see more clearly what
you've entrusted to us and what we've unintentionally been carrying that
actually belongs to you. Give us courage to obey, wisdom to discern, and Lord, just
the peace to trust you with the things that only you can do. Teach us, show us,
heal us, and grow us. In Jesus name, amen. All right. And Lucy, I see you, girl. I
know you're not new. And I know, hey, and that's another thing. I think there was
someone else that was like, that came in the app and was like, Hey, I've been
absent for some time. And, and you know, I want to encourage you ladies, if that
is ever you, and you're beating yourself up, not, not, I'm not saying that you do
that, you know, that anyone does that, but I don't ever want any lady to feel
like we have to explain why we had to step away. It happens. Life happens. We
have to make, we don't have to, you know, give the reasons why we don't have to
feel bad. We don't have to carry that. We understand. Okay. I was in this program
as well, and there were just times that life happened. I was a single mom, single,
single mom. And so there were just times that I just couldn't make it to a call,
or I just couldn't, I had to step away for a minute. And so just know that I
would rather see you take a moment and step away and then come back. I'm excited
to see you come back. All right, ladies. And if that is ever holding you back,
like, Oh, I know I need to, but I can't because I haven't been there in a while.
Ladies don't let that ever hold you back. Like be encouraged to be like, I'm, I'm
getting in it. Like, I gotta get in it. Like, we get it. Like I totally, totally
get it. Um, I have all people, 100% know. All right. So ladies, I want to celebrate
a lot of the things that I saw this week. Um, it's kind of like what I've, I'm
starting to learn that I like to do. Like after we pray really, it's really
important to me to, um, just look at our week overall and just use that as
encouragement. Um, I think that's just so valuable. I think, you know, we live
in a world where it's so easy to kind of look at the negative, you know, you turn
on the news and it's always something like doom and gloom, or even when we're
dating, it just, it's so easy to focus on the things that are not happening. But I
really want to start our calls with shifting things off, like look at what is
happening and let's recognize that. So, you know, I saw a lot of things this
week. I saw a lot of women just stepping in a courage and, you know, just getting
honest and, and, and telling truth, not just their truth, but God's truth. Um, I
saw people not rushing through things, really being conscious about slowing
things down. Um, I saw a lot of women being open to asking those deeper
questions, really, really like saying, okay, here's what I'm dealing with. Now
these are some deeper questions that I'm also tugging with. Or if us coaches asked
you some deeper questions, you actually took those questions to heart and came
back with some of those responses. And so that was really awesome to see. Um, I
saw a lot of people choosing obedience over the outcomes of things. Okay. It's
so easy to want to get caught up in like, I just want the outcome to be what it is.
But God is sometimes like, that's not what I'm calling you to do. I'm calling
you to do this instead. And, you know, I don't know about y'all, but that, that is
always a stretch for me. Um, I love that. I'm also seeing more invitations of
inviting this community into this process. I was actually just messaging with Ebony
and Bethany the other day. And I'm like, I.
I have just been so like overjoyed to see the engagement in this community.
Like that is the one thing when I was in this community, like y'all, the world
was shut down, so we really didn't have a choice because that was how we just
like, you know, still had like contact with people, but I'm seeing such more
like invitation to like partner with each other and encourage one another
and inviting everybody into that process.
Like y'all are getting raw and real and honest, and you're not holding
back and letting other people into that.
That's huge.
That's vulnerability.
That's honesty.
That's real role.
That's it's amazing.
And so you're helping each other stretch each other.
Like God is able to do so much in community when we do that.
And so that's been so awesome.
And so I really just want to keep encouraging you ladies to continue that.
Like it's awesome.
And last thing I'll touch on is I'm recognizing many of you are
starting to recognize old patterns.
And you're catching them and you're saying, Hey, I want to do this
differently and you're trying new things.
And the cool thing is ladies that you don't have to do it perfectly.
It's just the fact that you're aware that, Hey, this feels off.
I think this is an old pattern.
I'm going to get uncomfortable.
I'm gonna try something different and I'm going to be okay if I don't do it.
Okay.
Like, okay.
Like I can do it imperfectly and I can come in the community and I
can share it and I can grow and learn from it.
Like I have nothing.
I don't have to feel ashamed.
I don't have to hide it because ladies, guess what?
Myself and Ebony, we've been there and guess what?
I'm still there.
I'm still doing artwork stuff, ladies, and I still don't do it perfectly.
Fun fact.
I sit here coaching you ladies and half the time, the things that I'm coaching
you are the things I'm working on myself and I'm not doing it perfectly either.
Fun fact.
Okay.
So I really want you ladies to celebrate.
Like this really is what heart work looks like when you are living it out.
Like you ladies have graduated from phase one and now you're in phase two.
Like it's becoming your every day.
So you aren't just learning the stuff.
You're actually learning to do your life differently now.
That's why heart work is so important and that's why we have you do heart work first.
The heart work is where you learn it so that when you come here in phase two, we
start helping you actually live it out.
Okay.
And we don't ask you to do it perfectly.
Okay.
Cause we don't do it perfectly either.
All right.
So as I was reading everyone's posts this week, I definitely noticed, you know, a
lot of things, different women, different situations, different ages, all different
things, right?
Excuse me for a minute.
I'm just gonna take a sip of my coffee.
Um, but as always things might look different, you know, on the, on the top
layer, but if we go a little bit deeper, it's always still the same invitation.
I saw some women carrying this week, like questions like, you know, will he change?
Um, is this going to work?
You know, how, how will I know?
Um, is, will God provide, um, will I ever get married?
And so I see that tension.
I see a lot of women struggling with some of those questions.
Okay.
Would you sit and think this week, what were some of those things that you might
have been struggling with this week?
You can share them with us in the chat.
Like, this is where we get to be honest with each other.
Like, where were you struggling?
What were some of the questions you were, you were carrying?
I think some people were like, Oh, is this a date?
Is this not a date?
What do I do with this situation?
You know, is this person going to change?
Is, is, is this guy doing this and that?
And is this normal?
Right.
I'm also seeing women learning how to carry obedience and.
curiosity, and truth. Not just our truth, but God's truth. That's important. I'm
seeing women learning how to carry faithfulness in prayer. Learning how to
really step into that. And so I, as I was processing this week, and really
diving into what you all were sharing in the community, I really was asking
myself, what if God is inviting us to be asking, okay, what is mine to carry, and
what is his to carry? Okay, so what belongs to you, and then what belongs to
him? So our teaching today, if you didn't see the announcement, the
little reminder, is gonna be faithfully carry what God has entrusted to you
while trusting him with what he never asked you to carry. Okay, so I want to
start off with this, ladies. Thank you so much, Sarah. Yes, people
pleasing, compare, yes, people pleasing is huge. I struggle with that myself, and
some jealousy, mm-hmm, and critical, oh girl, you've read in a book, you're
reading a page from my book. If you have a blend in a family, ladies, that's a book,
that's a page from the book, all right? Some people pleasing, some jealousy, some
comparing, some criticalness, that's part of it, all right? So thank you for
sharing that, Sarah. So yeah, I want to ask you, ladies, and I want you to picture
this, okay? Like I was thinking about this, you know, how to
coach this, and I'm like, okay, how can I tie this to something practical that we
all have experienced before? And so, has anyone in this community, right now on
this call, ever needed someone to help them move?
Yeah, okay. Hopefully, you ladies, hopefully, can see where I'm going, okay? If you
haven't, have, if you have or haven't, have you ever been asked to help somebody move?
Okay, some people haven't been asked. Okay, that's good. Okay. Okay, I want you to stop and think, okay?
Because you'll often hear, oh, I love that, Nancy volunteers to help. Oh, girl, if I'm
ever moving, I'm calling you. Where do you live, Idaho? Oh, I might have to fly you
down. So, what I recall, it is always, like, that's like the moment of truth. Like, if
you need somebody to help you move, like, y'all, like, it's a big ask. And you, it's
hard, it is hard to find people to get you to help move.
Then, you notice, if you ever are asked to move, it's a stretch to want to sometimes
go ahead and offer yourself to move. And then, when we do actually help people to move,
there's a reason that we offer. Yes, or you find out who your real people are, for sure.
And if you are that person like Nancy, that you just offer to help, there is some, like,
that's because you care. All right, but I want to ask you, what, how would it feel
if you were the one that was offering to help someone move, and there might be a couple people
there, but you look around and you recognize you are the only one carrying the heavy stuff?
What would that look like? What does that feel like?
Like, as a result, what would that feel like?
Yeah, back pain for sure.
It hurt.
Yeah, there'd be like, there'd be some struggle.
There'd be some like, maybe some tension
of why isn't anyone else helping?
Oh, Jennifer, that's good.
So she's feeling that just every day at her job.
She feels like she's carrying the weight of things
that other people should be responsible for carrying.
So you see how like, that gets heavy.
It gets exhausting.
And it starts building this like, yucky feeling.
Because we're carrying something that we're like,
why are we having to carry all this?
Or if you've ever asked somebody to help you move, okay?
And you get someone that's like, take charge.
And then they're moving your stuff around
and throwing things around.
And you're like, whoa, hold on.
I mean, honestly, that's sometimes why I would prefer
people that I know and that I trust.
Because then I can, I trust that they're gonna listen to me
and they're gonna be considerate of my things.
Sometimes you get those moving companies
and they don't, they're just throwing your stuff around.
They're not listening, they're not taking care.
Like, so you're just like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Like, what's going on here, right?
So you don't, that's not always fun either, okay?
You want that part to be like a partnership.
Like, hey, I need your help.
Let's work together.
Let's do this together.
What do the movers need from me?
Like, here's the list.
I'm gonna write things that are fragile
and I'm gonna trust that you're gonna do that
and where things need to go and where it belongs.
And I'm gonna get a reputable moving company
or I'm gonna call on people that I can trust
and that I can lean on, okay?
So I don't think we can,
we tend to want to carry the heavy load
because we don't care or because we're controlling.
We're not taking charge.
And I don't think for the most part,
if your friends are the ones helping you move,
I don't think they're sitting there
like trying to be controlling.
Now, if you're hiring a moving company,
that might be something else, right?
Unless it's a really good reputable company.
And again, if you're hiring a moving company,
you're gonna go check the reviews.
But it's not because your friends are controlling
or you're controlling, it's because you actually care
or that company really cares
about the service that they provide.
And so because we care so deeply,
we slowly begin carrying responsibilities
that actually we might not be assigned to.
It's kind of what we do with God.
Sometimes we pick up other people's responsibilities
or God's responsibilities because we care so much
about others, about ourselves, about our future,
about all sorts of things.
Like there's a deep caring.
We care about how we show up, right?
We care about how we're perceived.
We care about how we honor ourselves
and how we honor God.
But it's really easy that we'll start picking up things
that belong to God and y'all,
that stuff is God's and it's really heavy
because it was never ours to carry in the first place.
If you listen to Supernatural Saturday,
Jackie was talking about us being part of this movement.
We are the revivalist, ladies.
We're not the ones carrying it all to ourselves, okay?
I was part of this community in the very beginning.
It used to be called married in 12 months or less, okay?
And it was a movement.
Yes, Jackie was the one that God,
she was the vessel God used to kind of start this movement.
And she was so obedient to that.
But it literally took all of us.
us partnering with this movement and all of you partnering with this movement that is
going to bring the wave and abundance of kingdom marriages.
So many marriages in almost six years now.
So many.
Y'all, I've been here from the beginning and it's been incredible.
Like Jackie shared, we haven't seen anything yet.
So you are part of this movement.
It is time to partner with God, but it is not yours to carry all the weight.
We are a giant communion.
We keep growing.
Like it was much smaller when I first joined.
Okay.
And it's just growing and growing and growing, which is amazing because God's like, I'm
not just going to do something small.
I'm not just going to have, you know, a couple hundred, you know, maybe a thousand.
He's going to allow this movement to have so many marriages.
And in order to do that, we have to learn what is ours and what is God's.
And I'm seeing that in our questions.
And these are good questions.
You ladies are doing the hard work and it's beautiful, but I really want us to really
dive into that this week.
So there's a lot of things that I saw in posts.
So like Peggy, I don't know if she's on, I don't think I see her.
Her assignment this week I saw in one of her posts was courage.
That's where she partnered with God was showing up with courage.
What wasn't hers was that guy at church, I think his name was Lonnie.
His response wasn't her weight to carry.
That was God to sort out.
She just had had the courage to follow in obedience of what God was asking her to do.
You know, set aside her fear and just go have the conversation.
Yeah.
That's good.
I just saw your thing, caring and sometimes the fear that things are going to go wrong
or messing it up.
Yes.
But guess what?
We care, but what is God asking us to do?
It's having the courage and trusting me like, okay, God, I'm trusting that I've done,
I've been obedient to what you've called me to do.
And I'm in alignment with you.
I am praying.
I am in your word.
I'm walking in alignment with you.
I'm not always doing that perfectly, but guess what?
When I do my best and I take the next faithful step, God, you handle the outcome.
And sometimes, yeah, is it going to get a little painful and I might need to get,
you know, put back on course?
Yeah.
But he is so good at that.
And I can trust him with that.
And he's going to use that opportunity to grow.
Amanda, she, her assignment was curiosity this week.
She didn't, she, her, hers wasn't, she was trying to figure out, okay,
was this the first date or not?
I loved reading her post this week.
And so her assignment, we weren't trying to sit here and determine,
was it a date or was it not a date?
I was like, let's not go there.
Okay.
Let's get curious.
I want to know more.
I was like, give me the details, girl.
Let's get curious.
I got curious.
And then she started getting curious because of the questions I was asking her.
And she did a really great job.
So it was about asking deeper, more curious questions
and asking herself those curious questions.
Like, okay, so with what happened, whether it's a date or not,
what information was I being given?
What's going on inside?
What do I want to do next, Lord?
What are you showing me?
Okay, Lord, you're giving me some, you had this opportunities here.
I'm partnering with you now.
So now what do I do?
Go to him.
He's going to give you that next faithful step.
All right.
Several others that I have listed,
but I want to keep moving on here.
So one thing that I was praying and meditating on a lot this week
that came to my mind and that kind of led me to,
that brought me to the heart of what this message
What it spoke to me and what I hope it will speak to you ladies is it had me thinking
a lot about storms this week and when I was in this community, at the time it was called
Married in 12 Months or Less.
It was 2022, okay, I had been in this community for over two years, I still wasn't married
and mind you, it was called Married in 12 Months or Less and I was like, it's been over
12 months y'all, what's happening?
I was getting pretty discouraged, yup, there's tropical storms right now, my husband is literally
in the verge, that's one thing I was meant to do, he's literally just took off to St.
Martin, it was a trip we were supposed to go on together but we weren't going to be
able to make it and then last minute his partner was like, y'all have to come and his partner
was like, I'm going to get your tickets and fly you all out and I told my husband, I can't
go, I've got too much stuff going on, so yes, I missed out on St. Martin but it's okay,
God is doing some good work in me, He's actually stretching me in this season, I'm getting
stretched, it's really good.
Lucy, thank you for feeling my pain on that, I appreciate it.
I've had some moments of some sadness and some bitterness and so I've had to turn that
over to God and be like, okay God, that's yours to carry, like what am I supposed to
do with this but so I've been thinking about storms and so I'm like, so hurricanes, right?
And so it's like hurricane season, I'm like, oh my gosh, St. Martin, like it's a hurricane
season, I'm like, is my husband going to get stuck in the Virgin Islands, like what is
happening?
I'm like, maybe that's why I was like, I can't go, I know what hurricanes are like, I used
to live in Florida and so that's what I'm going to, I'm prefacing is in 2022, I lived
in Sarasota, Florida and so there was a hurricane, I think it was Hurricane Ian, I can't, I think
it was Ian and not Irma, Irma might have been in the one that was in like 2017 but I think
it was Hurricane Ian, it came in 2022 and it was like a big storm, it wasn't even supposed
to be that big but and in Sarasota, we don't, we never typically saw hurricanes come through
so I was like, oh, this is going to be like a small one, it's going to be like a category
one, you know what, I'm not worried about it, like usually I would take off because
I had a son but you know, he was a little bit older, like the one in 2017, he was two,
I was like, yeah, I'm not staying here because that one was like, I think it was Irma, it
was like cat five, cat four or five and I was like, what am I supposed to do with a
two-year-old?
Like, I ain't doing this so like, I got in the car and like sat in the standstill traffic
for like forever and like hightailed it to like South Carolina where some friends were
and we stayed with them but this time, I was like, my son was like five or six and I was
like, I think we'll be okay.
Y'all, it was way bigger than we anticipated.
Now luckily, my condo was very secure, all that but as a single mom, my son had to miss
out for three weeks of school, I was a working single mom y'all and I just remember in that
time just praying and feeling so at peace with this hurricane and all the changes that
were coming through this storm.
I mean, it like totally threw us all off and we had all these changes and it was like,
but every time I was praying, like God was just sharing with me like, Carla, no, I am
bringing the storm to clear out the things that I don't want around.
Like, it was like he was clearing things out.
He was bringing the storm to literally clear out all of the debris because after storms,
like typically, like it's in the water, like you have to, it pushes everything out and
I don't know if you are in Florida or live in Florida or if you've ever been in Florida
at a certain season, they call it red tide on the Gulf Coast.
It is so gross.
It's so nasty.
It like causes all sort of respiratory, yes, Lucy's like, it smells like dead fish because
it kills everything in the water and then there's all these respiratory issues, like
you cough, like it just sucks.
Really just sucks.
And, but when hurricanes come through, it actually washes all of the red tide out.
And so I remember just thinking, okay, this has just got to be a clear, like we're just
going to clear everything through.
It's just going to be a clear.
Oh, you know, we're gonna, things are gonna,
things that are not meant to be here,
they're gonna get torn down and cleared out.
The things that need to be shaken and tore down
are gonna get shaken and tore down.
And the things that cannot be shaken will remain.
That's what God kept telling me during this hurricane.
And y'all, I felt so at peace
so at peace, I felt so grounded
in the storm, in this hurricane
that ended up turning into,
I think it was like a hurricane category four or five.
So storms have a way of revealing
things that calm days may not reveal.
And so that reminded me of Matthew seven,
the wise builder and the foolish builder.
They both experienced the same storm.
The storm is the same, storms come.
So the difference isn't always the storm,
it's the difference that we focus on
is what each house was built on
before the storm ever arrived.
And so in that season, y'all,
I had a foundation that was anchored
and it was anchored in Christ.
So storms don't create the foundations
that were anchored to, they reveal it.
And so sometimes he's gonna lovingly shake things
because it helps us see
what we've unknowingly been building on.
So the things that need to get shaken,
that need to get torn down, we get to see that.
I got to witness in that 2022,
I had a pretty, like my foundation was solid
and some things got shaken.
Even with my son three weeks off of work,
I had been walking in obedience with the Lord.
I had been trusting him.
He'd been growing me so deep
in such deep intimacy with him.
There was a peace.
Now, what I will also tell you,
I was really unsettled
and my dating life wasn't going anywhere.
I was really discouraged.
Like right after all that hurricane happened,
I was like ready to give up.
I was over it.
Like I was done.
But I was really thankful
that I could recognize that God was showing me
there were things that I was so anchored in
and he wasn't shaming me
for the things that I wasn't anchored in.
He was just inviting me into something stronger.
And so I got to see like I had a solid foundation
and then the discouragement came
because I wasn't anchored
in my whole thought process of dating.
All right.
And what he was gonna do for me
and my promise for marriage.
And so I got to really see how I was surrendered
in so many areas of my life
and I had been walking that out very well with heartwork
except in the area of dating.
And so he wasn't doing it to shame me.
He was doing it to actually do something stronger.
And so I started thinking about last year single
now as a coach
and my time when I was a student.
Last year single,
our whole focus isn't to bring you to marriage.
Okay.
Like y'all are here because you're single
and wanna be married.
Okay.
That was my whole reason too.
Like, okay, I wanna be married.
So this program is gonna move me towards marriage.
But if that's the mindset,
then that would mean marriage is the final destination.
But ladies, you're gonna also,
if you don't recall,
you'll hear Jackie often tell you,
this is the preparation for marriage.
We're preparing you for marriage.
We're not preparing you just to.
get married and to bring you to the marriage, we're preparing you for marriage. So
it's so that when God delivers the promise of marriage, we're here to help partner with God
and you because you're part of that partnership
and equipping you for the capacity that marriage is going to call you to.
Because marriage is not the destination, ladies. Marriage is that maturity plan for mankind.
It's God's maturity plan for mankind.
And that's one thing that now on this other side, like I'm learning.
I'm having, I'm living that out. Like marriage is continuing to teach me this.
There are some things that belong to me. There are some things that belong to Jeremy,
my husband. There are things that's that belong just to God.
You know, I haven't done that very well. One thing I've noticed is
when I start confusing those responsibilities, things become chaotic.
Because guess what? My foundation, it's not built on a rock. It's not built on solid foundation.
It's not anchored in Jesus. It's not anchored in my faith in God and what he's already been able to
do. I lose my peace. I think about that. So ladies, I, you know, you know, go back to Exodus
14. You know, you have, you know, they're standing at the Red Sea, right? The Israelites are standing
at the Red Sea and they're like, okay, get me out of slavery. But now we've got this sea and then
Pharaoh is right behind and he's got a giant army. Like, uh, oh, now what? Can't do this now.
Like, what are we going to do? And what if, like, and God's reminded us in that story, he's like,
hey, you're not to do anything. Like, you, I'm going to fight for you. I'm going to make
happen what needs to happen. You just need to be still. He wasn't asking them to be passive.
Being still and being passive are not the same things. He's reminding them,
know your, know which, what is your assignment and know what assignment is mine.
And so this week, I really want you ladies like sitting with that. Sit with Psalm 46.
Even when the earth is giving way, even when the mountains are falling,
even when the waves are crashing in, when that storm is just coming in,
God remains. You get to anchor yourself on the foundation of Jesus.
And so I want you to invite yourself to ask this question this week. Ask.
Definitely come back for that, that, cause I'm going to, we're going to do activation and then
we're going to take questions too. Um, but have, have a good meeting, Kelly. It was so good to see
you. Um, so the question to ask yourself, Lord, Lord, go to Lord, go to the Lord. All right.
Get quiet with him. What have you asked me to carry faithfully?
And God, when have I been carrying faithfully?
When have I been carrying what actually belongs to you?
So it's two questions. What have you asked me to faithfully carry?
And what have I been carrying that actually belongs to you?
And I'll post these in our app too, so that you'll get those. Um, I think a lot of ladies
really like the coach's notes. So I'll get those up probably Wednesday or Thursday at the latest.
So ladies, what I'm going to have you do for your activation this week.
And if you have a sheet of paper,
go ahead and you can start it now. If you don't, listen and then you can go back in the replay
and then I'll post it in the activation post as well. So if you have a piece of paper,
I just want you to draw a line down the middle and on one side
you're going to write mine to carry.
On the other side, you're going to write God's to carry.
One sheet of paper, two sides, line down the middle.
And so if you are able to write some things down right now, we can do that.
But I still, even if you're doing that right now, I still want to encourage you to spend some time
in prayer like today and tomorrow to sit with him quietly. Okay. And just listen to him even,
even right now on this call. I want you all to start making a list.
What does your side carry? Like what is, what does your side include?
What is yours to carry?
Maybe it's obedience. Is that something that you need to really focus on carrying? Obedience.
Ladies go and sit with the Lord on what does that, what does obedience actually look like?
What does it say in his word? What are, what are we like when we're called to be obedient?
What does that look like? And ask yourself, am I being obedient?
So maybe you're dealing with, you know, a situation, whether it's
with your family, whether it's work or you're dating,
with whatever he's asked you to do. And again, go check it with the word. What does that look like?
Maybe yours to carry is truth. And ladies, I'm not talking about your truth. I'm talking about his
truth. Again, sit with the Lord. What does his truth say?
Y'all, I don't love, I can't, I cringe every time I hear that, you know, live your truth or, you know,
you just do you. I don't like that. Ugh, drives me crazy. Like one time I heard a guy say,
you know, live your truth or, you know, you just do you. I don't like that. Ugh, drives me crazy.
Like one time I heard like, well, if you live your truth and your truth is to not believe in
gravity, like you, like your truth is gravity doesn't exist and you go jump off a building.
Uh, hello? Like you live your truth. Well, you're not going to live very long because
your truth says there's no gravity, but guess what? Um, your truth is wrong. The truth is
God's truth says there's gravity. It exists. You jump off a building. Guess what? You're
going to fall and you're not going to be here very long. You're not going to live,
live your truth for very long. Okay. So what's his truth? Not our truth. Not what we want to
be true. What is his truth say? And sometimes that's hard. Okay. Maybe what yours to carry is
curiosity. That's a good question. How do you know what he is asking you to carry?
So ride the best suggestion that I can give
is going back to that place of just being still.
Get in the word, get quiet.
Sometimes it's not about figuring out all the things and thinking
he's got to tell me all of the knowledge. It's sometimes it's like,
what's the simple thing that, uh, that he's asking.
So what I hear in your question,
is maybe a little fear, a little confusion,
maybe a little stress, a little pressure.
Sit with that, where's that come from?
Is God asking you to know all of that?
Or is he just asking you to sit with me?
Just sit with me.
So you've been wrong before.
Well, guess what?
Sometimes that's okay.
I can't tell you how many times I've been wrong.
Sometimes it's in those moments,
in those stormy moments where I've put myself in,
or maybe I've gotten it wrong,
that God is actually growing me into something stronger.
He's drawing me deeper.
Where does that live?
And so once I get through some of this activation,
let's unpack that a little more, okay?
Let's get some details on that,
because I think we can really unpack some stuff
if you're open to it.
Are you open to that?
Okay.
Boundaries.
Some of y'all, that might be what it's yours to carry.
These boundaries,
that's something that I've always struggled with.
Boundaries, knowing like, ooh, what's,
where do I have, like, I'm a people pleaser.
I'm a people pleaser.
I'm also controlling.
I'm a little bit of everything.
I just, you know, I was teeter-totter all the time,
and that can get really confusing, you know?
So I have to really check my boundaries.
Who am I trying to please?
Am I honoring myself, am I honoring God,
or am I trying to honor somebody else
and try to please somebody else selfishly
to get my needs met?
Or am I putting boundaries up because it's God is saying,
hey, you need to take care of you for this.
Here's your boundary.
Let me reveal things to you with those boundaries.
Okay.
We've got a video, a coaching content on boundaries.
It's really good.
Renee does an amazing job at talking about boundaries.
A lot of you ladies, when you share your questions
about some of your dating stuff,
I'm always asking, okay, what boundaries did you,
what boundaries did you put in place?
You know, some of us are like, oh my gosh,
that guy is like, did this or said that,
da-da-da-da.
I'm like, okay, great.
What, how did you respond?
Like sometimes it's not about what they said,
like what they say or what they did,
it's how do they respond to the boundary?
It's the after part.
Like I love that.
And faithfulness.
Does that belong to us?
Absolutely.
So pray about that today, tomorrow, what is yours?
What are you, what is God asking you to do?
What is he asking you to partner with?
Okay.
Now, on the side with God, what is God's to carry?
Well, those are outcomes, timing,
changing people.
Y'all, we can't change people.
We can't make people do things that we want them to do.
We want them to look a certain way or be a certain way
or act a certain way or the, you know,
respond a certain way.
We can't change that.
Sometimes we change ourselves and show up differently.
That's dishonoring to ourselves and to God.
Because we want them to respond in a way
that makes us feel better.
Because we're trying to control the outcome.
We're trying to change.
how someone else is naturally going to respond.
Ladies, when you step into marriage,
there's gonna be some things about your husband
that you ain't gonna like.
Men are different.
Men think differently.
They just do.
Like, y'all, I am such a clean, neat freak.
Like, I'm even telling you, like, my pictures right here,
I don't know if you can see, they're flipped.
That's driving me crazy.
My husband is away in St. Martin.
My two older kids are with my mother-in-law.
My youngest, who's 10, about to be 11, he's with me.
And he invited three boys over to spend the night last night.
They all decided to have a sleepover
out here on this couch.
And so they literally, like, got this big air mat,
and, like, they were jumping around.
Clearly, they were flipping my pictures.
They didn't fix that.
And it's driving me crazy.
Like, I am a neat freak.
Even, they woke up this morning,
and, like, all three of them,
or all three of them and my son, they were jumping around.
They were getting ready to go out
and play baseball outside.
And I'm like, uh, clean this living room up.
What are we doing?
Like, you know what, I'm like, I get it.
You're boys, like, you're not gonna,
but y'all, I'm a clean freak.
My husband, not so much.
Y'all, it drives me crazy.
Like, I'm ready to, like, discipline the kids
when they do not do their chores.
Like, it drives me nuts that I have to remind them.
And then it's like, they have to do their chores.
And I'm like, you don't know how to do your chores.
You're grounded from electronics.
You're just not going outside.
Like, I don't want you to all lose privileges.
And my husband is like, what is the big deal?
Y'all, it drives me nuts.
But to my husband, it's just not, like,
but I can't change that my husband
just doesn't operate that way.
So I have to ask God, okay, what is my responsibility?
What do I need to partner with right now?
What are you calling out of me, God?
What is it that I need to work on?
Y'all, I do need to work on my sense of everything
needing to look a certain way,
the outcome needing to look a certain way.
Like, I do struggle with that.
So what belongs to God is outcomes,
timing, changing people, the future.
The future all belongs to God.
I don't get to determine that.
And this is a good one.
Transformation belongs to God.
I don't get to control all the transformation
that goes on in my heart or in other people's hearts.
I just have to partner with him
and trust that even though the transformation
might, you know, rub me the wrong way,
there might be some growing pains in it.
Y'all went through heartwork?
There's some discomfort in the healing process.
But the transformation that happens, that God does,
y'all, because if we were in charge of that,
we wouldn't do it because it's uncomfortable.
We're human, we don't want to,
it's not normal for us to want to sit in pain.
Like, that's just a given.
We have to partner with God because it's God's strength.
And what Jesus did on the cross,
because y'all, he went through the pain.
He knows what that pain feels like.
And he didn't even act on what caused the pain.
He wasn't the one that sinned, it was our sin.
But he was like, I'm gonna take it for you.
So yeah, I don't love having to walk through
some of the painful stuff in heart healing.
But what I will say is,
if this is the pain that I have to go through
compared to what Jesus had to do.
I'm gonna have some gratitude there because the gift that I receive, the eternal life
that I get, I'll praise the Lord.
I'm so thankful.
I'm so blessed.
And so, ladies, throughout this week, when anxiety, this is your activation, whenever
anxiety starts rising, whenever frustration, whenever that tension's there, whenever that
anger, that discouragement, that hopelessness, anytime that stuff starts surfacing this week,
I want you to pause and I want you to grab your paper or visually think about it and
ask yourself, which side of the paper am I holding?
Am I holding the side that's my stuff to carry or am I carrying something that's supposed
to belong to God?
I'm almost certain, ladies, if you've got some anxiety, you've got the fear, you've
got the frustration, you've got the tension, you've got the hopelessness, you've got the
discouragement, you've got all of that stuff, it's because you're starting to try to carry
something that actually belongs to God and you're gonna sit with Him and be like, okay,
I'm gonna give that back to you, Lord.
What is it that you're asking me to carry in this moment?
What's my role?
Where am I just supposed to partner with you?
Okay.
All right.
We don't have a whole lot of time, but we're gonna get through, we're gonna get through
some stuff and I'll stretch our call a little bit.
Man, I really thought this teaching today was gonna go by so much quicker.
Y'all, I'm trying.
All right, who's got questions for me today?
I know Sarai, we're gonna get to her, Susan's, oh, good to see you, Susan, hey, girl.
Anybody else?
I know I see some names here that I've seen lots of your posts in the app, which has been
good.
So, so good.
Okay.
So, all I'm seeing is two, I got Lucy and Susan, and I know we're gonna jump on and
take Sarai's.
So, Lucy, I'm gonna hit you up first and then we're gonna go to Susan and then when, hopefully
Sarai will be back and then if anybody else has a question, if we have time, we'll get
to you.
I'm here.
Definitely jump in the app or jump on tonight.
Ebony is usually doing the eight o'clock call tonight.
She's traveling.
So, I have offered to take that over for her tonight too.
So, if you are gonna be on tonight, you'll get a double dose of me and hopefully since
I've run through this once, we won't, we won't take as long.
All right.
All right, Lucy, how are you?
What's your question?
Hey, Carla.
I'm so good.
I've been so helped by the last time that I have managed to be on the call with you.
That was so helpful.
Another time I've gone on, Ebony was on.
It was, you know, good to hear from her too, but I was like, oh, I miss following up with
Carla.
So, here's where it's going.
There's still multiple guys like, you know, kind of get to know me.
I have reconnected with a guy from 12 years ago that I was dating up on the mission field
and I had broken up and just all the fear of reasons why, afraid of being left, you
know, one day.
And he is still in that place of, almost feels mixed.
He's very, you know, very much wants to connect, but it kind of pulling back like that fear
and he admitted it like there's a fear around relationship and marriage.
Okay.
So, and yeah, part of that's from me, part of that's from his brother's recent divorce,
just all that.
So, when I, I finally had a breakthrough this weekend and I realized, oh wait, what if,
what if it's no matter what happens, what if me being back in his life is a blessing
to him for nothing else, then God is in me and therefore he can use my presence as a
disruption of whatever's going on, that pattern, whether or not we work out.
So, that's been like a new mindset of like, oh, what if my presence is a blessing no matter
what happens?
So, you're not carrying that responsibility.
I think I just used it like, okay, God, it's gotta be you.
I think.
Yes.
Yeah.
That sounds like, yeah, it sounds exactly what, what God's kind of been showing up and
doing this week.
Right.
Yeah.
Exactly.
And when we carry something that's not our responsibility, like someone else's, someone
else's fear or insecurities or, or, or where they're at, we think it's our responsibility
to have to like.
Like, Oh, I have to make you feel safe.
You know, do we have some responsibility to be honoring?
Yeah.
Like you have some, like, are you being obedient?
Are you following God's word?
Are you, are you showing up in your authentic self the way that God has created you?
Where's your heart?
You know, and if you can honestly tell yourself like, yeah, I, I'm doing what God
is asking of me, I'm being honest, I'm communicating, I'm doing all of those
things, it's not my job then to go and figure out how they receive it or how
they pick up on it or how they carry that.
That's really good.
Yeah.
Can we be curious about it?
Yeah.
Can we, you know, walk along and say, Hey, is there something that
would help you feel less concerned?
Is there something that I'm, that I can help with?
You can ask that curiosity.
And then if they give you something, guess what?
Doesn't then, then doesn't mean that you're forced to do it.
Hmm.
Now you get to take their request and you get to go take that to the Lord.
Yeah.
That's good.
And say, okay, God, is this something that you would have me do?
Is this healthy?
Is this an alignment with what you are calling from me and from this other person?
Yeah.
Cause it could be possible ladies.
I mean, I can relate to this.
It's really easy for me.
No, I'm gonna get real here, y'all.
It's really easy for me to, I have like, I, I can pick up on things.
Like I have like, God has given me such a good gift for discernment.
Okay.
But when God gives us gifts, we have to remember our gifts are not to be used for
us, our gifts are to be used for God and others in the kingdom.
So I have this gift of discernment and I can see things, but it's, it, if I'm not
careful, I'll want to use that gift, things I'm seeing to benefit myself,
especially in my close relationships.
So like in my marriage, I'm like, oh, honey, you need to work on this.
Like you can do some heart healing here, or even in my kids and God's like,
I didn't give you that gift so you can control others and take on my
responsibilities.
I gave you that gift so that you could be a blessing to me and to others in the
kingdom so that you could show your love and your compassion and your consideration.
That's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's
what he wants us to do.
That's really good.
Could I ask a follow up question to it?
Yes.
Thank you so much.
You're welcome.
Okay.
So I was just wondering, it almost felt like God's timing last night.
I had this curiosity on how did things, what was our last communication?
And so I've like looked up his email in the past and read the old emails, but I
had never in the past seen, like, even when I had searched our last
communications had never come up.
So for the first time they did, I thought, Oh, this is so wild.
And it was after we had broken up, he had emailed me about six weeks later, just to
say, how are you doing?
Are you open to talking like, you know, are you still needing to be broken up
basically, or have you worked through whatever it is?
And I had said in the emails, and this is what I had forgotten that again, my
religious reasons to break up, to cover up the pain, the last one was the process
of, Oh, you know, I think we need to discern our callings better and we need to
discern separately.
Cause I was again on the mission field where there's that huge intensity to go
big for God and to know your calling and to only walk in that and don't take anyone
that's not in the same calling as you and just hyper, hyper pressure is how I now
feel about it.
But, um.
So, I have a date tonight with him on video, and I'm wondering if I, if it would be beneficial for me to just, just ask his.
Yeah, Lucy, don't you I'm asking somebody, there's a couple people I think haven't muted and I wasn't going to mute all of here, actually, I'm muting all of you.
But Lucy unmute.
Sorry.
That's probably the easiest thing to do.
Here we go. So yeah, I need to, like, ask his forgiveness like confess like this is, you know what I mean like just own it to him.
Like this is the mindset I use that I was on, you know, I don't think it was.
So you haven't had a conversation with him about, about that, like, when, like when you guys got back together you didn't have a discussion about like why you had broken up with him and what what like what you've learned since then.
I did generally so talking about like the fear and all of that, but I didn't bring up that last excuse about like trying to figure out your calling and how probably detrimental that was to me and him.
Like so we did talk about all that, you know, other stuff like the fears, I just never brought up that part so I was wondering if.
Yeah, so, um, I think yeah if you again I would follow, you know, pray about it. Okay, don't force anything.
I would pray about God just giving you a piece and opening the door and showing you a clear path that you know that conversation is open, you could, you know, just share with him like hey, I was thinking and then I did some searching and I noticed the email that you sent six weeks after we had, we had split up.
And I saw my response to that and I done some, you know, some thinking on that and some praying on that. And there's some things that God revealed to me and I would love to share that with you if you'd be open to it on what I learned.
I'm not sure if you hearing that, would that be helpful to you or is it something that you'd want to hear? Ask him to see if it's even something that he wants to hear.
Okay, yeah.
You know, ask that permission because maybe that's something that he'd be really thankful to hear and maybe that is something that he needs. If that's not it, or if that's going to be too sensitive for him to hear, then that's where he gets to put up his own boundaries.
Yeah, let him put up his own boundaries.
What's going to help him with where God has him? Because, you know, he's sharing like he does have some fears and some insecurities. He's communicating that. That's healthy. Okay. But what's not healthy is you taking on the responsibility to feel like it's yours to fix.
So you want to be looking for the, you know, you want to be gathering information. Is he expecting me to fix it? Or is he walking through the process and allowing God to work on it? Again, it's not yours to decide how God's doing it. Just allow God to give you the information.
Ask God to show you how do I give grace? Do I need to, you know, with the information that you're receiving, you're consistently going to God and asking him, what do I do with this information?
He will give you the piece on what your next faithful step is. If it's to continue the process and walk along with him and continue to grow and see where this relationship goes, then you take that step.
If God is showing you, you know what? This is too difficult for him for you to be part of his life. And I've called you just in this season and now it's time to go ahead and just whatever that is.
And so ladies, I know a lot of you, I like, and I know I, I share this often is when we recognize the questions that you ladies come with is what do you, what do I do? You want that certainty.
And I know that at times it may get frustrating and I, I'm not saying that this is happening, but I imagine it is because I've been in your seats before that when we don't give you a very direct answer and tell you exactly what to do, that's frustrating.
We don't tell you exactly what to do is because.
we're not your source. We're not. Okay? I don't want to tell you, go do this.
Go break up with them. Go, you know, keep trying at it. We can give you wisdom.
We can give you questions. It's always important that you ladies are taking this to the Lord
yourself. Okay? That's important. Because I'm not God. I don't know what God wants to do
in this man's life and in your life, Lucy. I don't know what he has in store. I'm not like,
it's not my job. It's not my responsibility. I already struggle with taking on responsibilities.
I think it's my job to like pick up my husband's stuff and my kids stuff and let them like know
what, how they need to heal and what, what stuff they need to work on and therapy and
all sorts of things. And God's like, no. So the last thing I want to do ladies as your coach
is to be your God and to tell you ladies what you need to do.
I want to ask the questions. I want to press you to go to the Lord. Hmm. Okay. I hope that helps.
Okay. Thank you, Lucy. Susan, let's go ahead and take you and then we'll go a little bit over to
do Sarai. I think I don't have any other questions. If you do have a question, you just don't have
your hand up. Put it in the app or come tonight. All right. Hey, Susan, how's it going girl?
I'm good. Sorry, you guys. I'm in my swimsuit. I just came in from the pool, so I apologize.
I like, I want, I want your, I want to live vicariously through you.
I need to go to the pool. I just never make it there.
Yeah. Yeah. It's beautiful. So I actually typed out my, so I'll just, it'll probably take me like
three minutes to read it too. I was just going to post it in the thing, but I'm like, I'd rather
just talk. Okay. So I'll just read it real quick and then you can tell me. Okay. Thanks. Yep. I
get it. I, I matched with a guy on hinge about six weeks ago and he is 30 and I am 44. Okay.
But I was open to giving them a fair chance because right away he was like more intentional
than other guys on the apps. Like he actually started sending me audios right away and he said,
like, he liked my faith on my profile. He sent me an audio, said, I'm serious about you. I'm
going to win you over. And then we kind of did audios back and forth and it took us some time
to like schedule a date. Cause he gets his daughter every, he has a three-year-old that
he gets every other weekend. And we had one scheduled and then I wasn't feeling good and I
canceled. And, um, then another, and then I said, yeah, that I had had a bad day and it wasn't
feeling well. And he actually called me after work to like check on me and try to help me process,
but I didn't answer, but it was a nice gesture. But I, I was like, we've had like three phone
calls so far for about over an hour. And I was impressed with the questions and his like gentle
manner on the phone. He seemed mature and I was feeling safe. Um, he would touch base every few
days on text. I told him I'm not a huge texter before I've met someone, but, um, okay. So finally
we had a coffee date set and he told me prior the day prior he'll pick the place and send it to me.
I never heard, went to bed. The date came and went four hours. I remember, I remember this. Yeah.
Yeah. So four hours after the scheduled date time, he apologized and he said his daughter
went to the ER. Um, I was like, okay, thank you for letting me know. I, I totally understand.
But like just, you know, it does take 15 seconds to send a text and that would have been helpful
because I thought, you know, like you weren't interested. I, you know, had all these emotions
and it just could have, you know, and then he called me and we had a conversation
and that he was more interested in me after that conversation, I guess, based on how I handled him
or his behavior. I don't know. So we rescheduled, we were scheduled for the following week.
So he told me he would possibly meet me Sunday or he could meet. I said I could do Sunday or
Tuesday and he said he could as well. He said, I'm dropping my daughter off Sunday and I'll
message you, keep you posted. I'll message you Sunday night and maybe we can still meet up.
What's her name?
Iceland.
Okay.
Hey.
Go ahead and bring it into me. This is still going on, honey.
Hey, I got people unmuting here. Hold on.
Okay, Susan, I'm going to have you. Susan, I'm going to have you.
Susan, unmute yourself again, because I had to mute everybody.
Okay, got it.
Thank you.
Thanks. So...
Okay, so he said, I'm going to keep you posted about Sunday,
because he has dropped his daughter off.
Yes. Sorry, hold on one second. And Sunday, yeah. So he said,
I'll message you Sunday after I drop her off.
Okay.
And I was kind of like, I don't really like last minute, but I'll let him message me.
Well, he never messaged me.
He never did?
Never did.
Okay.
So then Monday morning, I get a like, hey, beautiful.
Um, I know we talked about, you know, meeting on Tuesday.
I promise I don't want to be a pen pal. Like, I promise I really want to meet you.
But Wednesday would be better.
Like, all right, sure, we can move it to Wednesday.
So I said, just send me the place.
It got to three hours before the date Wednesday.
And he messaged me, hey, are we on for tonight?
And I had no idea where we're meeting or what time.
So I was really pissed off.
And, um, I sent him an audio because I thought, well, maybe it's better to do an audio
instead of text. So the tone of voice is nice.
Yes, I love it. I love that.
I did like a nice tone of voice. I was like, hey, you know, I'm not, I need like 24 to 48
hours notice. I need to have the place. I'm not a last minute person.
I, you know, I said, like, you seem intentional, like, but communication is coming an issue
because that's all I have to go on.
I don't know you yet.
So all I have to go on is your word.
We haven't met.
And the communication thing is starting to become an issue.
But I'm willing to give you another opportunity.
But like, there was a like, I was trying so hard, but there was a slight irritation in
that second audio I sent.
So he could tell.
And he called me after work.
I was like, I apologize.
He's like, has a very, like de escalating, which is good for me.
He's a very calm and patient.
He's like, you're valid.
I knew I should have messaged you earlier.
And he's like, I can handle your anger.
I want you to let it out.
Give it to me.
Like, I can handle it.
I'm a grown man.
And you're totally right.
And then he admitted, like, I'm not an experienced dater.
I've only had three, like, long term relationships, and I don't really know how to date.
So then we had a nice conversation.
And then, you know, we both were like, oh, now we're more excited to meet each other
because we've like, I guess, worked through this problem.
Okay, scheduled again for the following Tuesday.
Okay, this was today.
Tonight, he texted me a few times to check in.
Sunday night, he told me he'd message me.
Monday night for like, give me the time and the place.
I said, thanks.
Perfect.
Last night, he messaged me at like, 730.
Hey, Susan, like, hi, Brandon.
How was your day?
My day was good.
How was yours?
Oh, good, busy.
And then he just like, disappeared.
And I'm like, okay.
So I waited like, an hour.
And I was like, do I do I just leave it in his court?
Or do I say something?
Finally, I said, so are you going to give me the place and the time for tomorrow?
So he sends me like, a place and he's like, here, how about six?
And I wrote back and said, yeah, that could work.
But I did notice that they're actually closing shortly after.
Okay, and then no responses disappeared.
Okay, I was frustrated.
I was irritated.
Yeah, I woke up this morning to good morning, Susan, I'm going to need to reschedule.
And I didn't like that.
It was like, no apology, no explanation.
No explanation.
And I was like, okay, I feel like I've really given him chances.
I just don't know.
And I will.
Yes, I will definitely say, girl, you have given him a lot of chances.
And I think you have really shown up the way that we have coached you in discovery dating.
And I think you're recognizing how you are showing up differently.
Like you're recognizing, okay, I'm going to give this a shot.
And I'm going to look at this and I don't like this.
The best thing that I heard that I wrote down and I was like, this is awesome.
You gave him the audio and you put boundaries up.
You're like, hey, I love that you're being intentional.
But this communication is becoming an issue.
It's all I have to go on.
And because we don't know each other yet.
And I'm someone that needs a little more time.
I can't do things last minute.
You communicated.
what you needed. And I like that he's showing up and trying to you know be
more intentional but the thing that I'm seeing I don't love I don't love him
saying I can handle your anger. Okay. Like at this point ladies this is when we're
gathering information. Okay. He's intentional but he's also not following
through with what he says he's gonna do. Okay. We can give him grace but she's
setting boundaries and communicating I don't this is what I need. She she the
the information she's get she has is he's 30 she's 44. He's he's mature in
some areas but we're seeing how even at 30 there's still some immaturity that's
possibly still there. Okay. There's information that we're getting. Okay. And
even when he might have now started following through a little better he's
still getting a little flaky with oh now I've got to cancel and oh hey how's it
going that she's still having to be like okay where are we going exactly
fine like she's still kind of having to pull him along okay he's not he might
have some great qualities and how he's handling himself and has demeanor but
he's really not leading well that's not showing up okay doesn't mean he's a bad
guy but I don't see a lot of leading here right he's young he's so 30 okay
that's okay doesn't make him a bad person but you're getting information
you're showing up differently and you're learning and you're growing and you're
practicing this stuff and that's what discovery dating is all about and so
again I hear him say I can handle your anger at 30 years old that I don't love
because now that's giving me some more information that well that's great that
you can handle my anger but I don't want to feel like I have to get angry in
order for it to be something that you have to handle right ladies like you're
that off to set up a first date like yeah that's great when you because ladies
let's be real okay we're allowed to have our emotions all right my husband
will tell you there are times I get whoo all right and I can get angry and God
bless him he does know how to sometimes defuse it but I don't want my husband
not learning how to handle my anger I want him to learn how to help me not
get angry about things again it's not his responsibility it's still on me but
I want someone who's going to partner with me and it sounds like this guy is
not there yet he just he might be mature in some areas I just don't know if he's
mature in all areas and it doesn't sound like he's really leading in a great
place yeah you get to decide Susan I'm like I'm not gonna I'm not gonna if you
want my okay again I'm not telling you what to do ladies I'm not gonna ever
just tell you what to do you're gonna have to take to the Lord if it were me I
would say thanks for your time this isn't gonna work out yeah I appreciate
your intentionality I I learned something like here's the thing you
learn something you learn that there are men out there who will be intentional
will call you like the audio message you like that they can talk to you and
communicate in a respectful tone and and not get emotionally deregulated if
you are maybe dysregulated okay that's yeah I like that yeah I really need that
that's really good traits here but I'm like this is like so it's not like this
this is not a loss it's a win this is discovery dating so I don't think this
is something that you have to get discouraged by I think you think you
know what Lord this was awesome it might not have gone the way you wanted
it to it's kind of disappointing but like you have done so much work and so
much growth
And that I want to celebrate that.
Thanks.
Yeah.
I'm proud of myself for getting that far and being that patient.
Yes.
And so you're like, that's what I'm saying.
You're learning, you're, you're seeing, okay.
There are men out there that can show up in a way that is not reactive.
That's good.
You're also recognizing.
One of your boundaries and things that you don't like,
You don't want someone who just wants to handle your behavior.
You want someone that's going to show up and partner with you so that
they can learn.
What are your needs and that they are going to lead that,
that they're going to help in that they're going to partner with that.
Now,
If you really do struggle with being reactive,
that's going to be something God's going to work, work on you.
Yeah.
Guess what I will.
I promise you just because I'm in it.
That's something that I have to work on my reactions and God will work,
work with you on that in your marriage.
God is stretching me there.
Like I have to check myself.
It's very easy.
Cause I have some, some trauma, some insecurities that have surfaced.
So that's but again,
I was able to see what my, you know,
I got to know my husband in our dating and, and,
And, and, and see that out and see, you know,
he was solid in some areas.
Now does he have things that he needs to grow in? Absolutely.
But God's showing me like he's showing all of you ladies,
there are certain things that are ours to carry and certain things that are
others and certain things that are gods.
So thank you so much for sharing that with us.
I think that was so good for all the ladies to get to hear.
And I hope ladies made it through the replay to that,
because that was such an awesome moment to learn from.
Thank you, Carla. Do you,
were you bothered by the fact that he didn't apologize this morning either?
Like it wasn't, I'm sorry.
I need to reschedule or like give a reason.
That's one of those things again,
that could be a deeper question that you take with the Lord. Okay.
You're allowed to have those feelings be like, that really bothered me.
But again,
I wouldn't focus so much on what he did or didn't do.
I would be asking more of God.
Why did that bother me the way that it did and see if,
and ask God, is there, is there something that you want to show me there?
I mean, it's okay to be bothered. That's I'm not saying that you,
you know, like, yeah, that's annoying. I'd be annoyed,
but I wouldn't put so much focus on that.
And if, if that's where your mind is going,
I would sit and be like, why does that bother me?
Why is it?
Why is that something that I'm focusing on and see what comes up,
see what God reveals to you. Okay. But yeah.
Thank you so much. Thanks for all the love in the chat. Ladies.
Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. All right. All right.
I'm stretching the time out for you girl. Cause I want, we're going to,
we're going to process what we can process through. Okay. Okay.
I'm looking at the chat too. I love you ladies supporting her.
Just so good. I love it. I love it.
All right, girl.
Sounds like you just feeling like a little discouraged.
Like you need to hear from God. Yeah.
Tell me the situation that's going on. What's,
what are you feeling like you're still struggling with?
So I guess what really brought this up is that we had, we had,
um, our, my church that I attend, we just,
we just celebrated our 50th church anniversary.
One of the celebrations, our celebration ended this, this past weekend,
but the celebration, we, uh, the,
we had a conference, um, called we the kingdom.
And, um, one of the, one of the sessions, um,
during the, we, the kingdom conference was a discussion panel and it had,
um, our, it had three people on it, including Beth Moore. And, um,
anyways, one of the questions, one that they opened up for,
for questions. And one of the questions was, um,
they asked us to submit questions.
Earlier in the week. And I did submit a question and the question that got
read, it wasn't mine, but it was on the same lines as mine. Okay.
And, um,
this person said that she was 37 years old and that she was,
and that she was, that, that she just, and that she wanted to,
she desired marriage, but she,
but it felt like time was ticking away.
And she said that she was 37 years old and that she just wanted to,
to get married.
and nothing was happening, and it made her feel like she was struggling in her relationship
with God because she felt like she was forgotten as she was watching everybody else experience
that and she wanted to know what should she do.
Okay.
And so my question that I had asked, it didn't get read, but it was similar, was you feel
discouraged but you don't want to walk away from your relationship with God because you've
been there, done that, that was a failure, but now how do you handle that disappointment
and discouragement and still?
And so her question was, and she's 30 and I'm 48, and so I could totally understand
where she was coming from.
But the reply that literally one of the pastors on the panel literally refused to answer the
question.
He literally said, I'm not getting into that, I don't want to answer the question.
It was a man?
Yes.
That's why.
And then, but then our former senior pastor answered it kind of like, it's like the same
thing we always hear as singles, in my opinion, serve God and wait.
And then I was talking to one of my girlfriends who's 40 and a little bit, well, I think she's
like 45.
So we're around the same, we're experiencing the same thing of like, we don't, like, where
is God?
What do we keep asking?
We're at the point where we don't no longer ask, you know what I mean?
And so it's like, and to get that, like, kind of like, just keep serving and keep and keep
just keep swimming.
Yeah.
And, and it's like, and it really upset, it really upset me.
Yeah.
And I, and I, I ended up like, I literally had a cry session with God just yesterday
about it.
And I felt like I needed to like, I emailed, I really did.
I literally emailed my church.
I did get, and I, and I'll read to you what I wrote, because I, but I just felt like,
I felt like I needed to speak up for, for other singles because I just, I just, and,
and on top of that, our singles ministry is not the greatest, like, it's not like, you
know, anyways, I put dear pastors and I put my church's name.
My name is Shirai Gully, and I have been a member of, of CBF since 2021, serving in
the choir still since joining during week.
And I explained to them what happened tonight.
And then I said, I said, for those of us who are 30, 40 or beyond and have never been married
or had children, but deeply desire both, this journey is not simply about waiting.
It is an emotional rollercoaster.
I am 48 years old and while I love God and sincerely desire to honor him with my life,
there is real grief in watching year after year pass while the desires of your heart
remain unfilled.
I don't believe those who married young can fully understand the unique weight of this
experience.
Week after week, many sermons naturally speak to couples and families, while singles are
often mentioned only briefly or as an afterthought, sometimes with the reminder that Paul said
it is better to remain unmarried.
But many of us are not choosing singleness.
We are faithfully living it while longing for marriage and family.
Please don't overlook us or unintentionally dismiss our pain.
We are serving, we are trusting, and we are seeking God.
We are not asking for easy answers.
We are asking to be seen, acknowledged, and shepherded with compassion.
It hurts and sometimes we simply need our grief to be recognized.
Thank you for listening.
Grace and peace, Shirai Gully.
That's beautiful.
And I did get a response.
Did you get a response?
My church is huge.
So I did get a response and I was told that my message was going to be passed on to my pastor.
And so I think that's where, when you asked that question or asked us to write down things,
that's where that came from.
Yeah.
Well, and this is, okay, so there's some things that with what you're sharing, I actually...
Do you believe that you are hearing from God?
And what you're experiencing is so valid. And I think every woman that's on this call,
especially for those of us that are over 30 and still single and never been married,
know exactly what you're talking about. We have experienced it. Y'all, I didn't get proposed to
and married until I was 40. I was a single mom. I had never been married before.
So I think we all could probably put in the chat all the ways that we feel like the church doesn't
serve us as singles. I think we are all, literally, like that's kind of how we just
connect in community, especially as Christian singles. We're like, they just don't get it.
Right? And so what you're experiencing and what you're feeling, I don't want you to discount that.
And I think it's very, very valid. And I couldn't help but think to myself,
what if you sitting in that conference and being someone who's in your 40s and single
and listening and watching this panel of pastors try to respond to this question, which by the way,
they're the ones that picked it. They picked that question yet. They couldn't figure out
how to answer it and how to serve the singles that they're trying to answer to. Okay. And I'm
not saying that they're not, they don't have a heart for that. Okay. That they're not,
that they're not good pastors that they, you know, like, I genuinely believe that
the church doesn't mean to not show up for singles. A lot of times they just don't know how,
because they haven't walked through it themselves. And that's why I think this community
is so important. And so that's why I think, what if
God has brought you through this season because he wants to use you
to touch singles that have been in your seat so that you can bring that reconciliation
back so that singles just like yourself, and just like me, and just like every single one
of these women on this call can show up and feel that they're being seen, heard, known, and loved.
That's important. And that doesn't mean
that it doesn't hurt when you feel like God has missed you. That's real. Ladies, that is so real.
I mean, I think we all can sit with that for a moment.
I remember what that feels like.
Sometimes I show up on these calls and I get so concerned
that you ladies don't want to hear from me because I got married and I think, oh, I'm so disqualified.
But I'm like, you know what, God, I actually know that's the enemy
because I'm here because I don't want what I felt and what I experienced and the hurt and the pain
and the struggle and the difficulty that I had to walk through to ever go unnoticed in each
and every one of the other singles that are out there in the church.
I remember what that felt like. And if God took me through that and showed me that, hey,
I'm still faithful, I'm going to do that for you all. I'm here to serve you all because there were
to serve you all because there were people like Jackie that did that for me.
She saw me.
She heard me.
She listened to the Lord and what he placed on her heart.
There are pastors and people in the church
that just don't get it.
And ladies, I don't want that to discourage you.
Don't allow the enemy to utilize people in the church
to take your eyes off of him.
Instead, sit with him and be like,
okay, Lord, what is it that you're showing me?
There is a need in the church.
There's a need for us singles, Lord.
What have you brought me?
What do I need?
What have you brought me?
What do I still need from you?
This community is such a blessing.
I believe that this community has such a heavy anointing
and calling because God sees us.
And he wants singles married.
And he wants to make sure that you all feel seen,
loved, known, and heard.
And to recognize, you know what,
when you have those moments of discouragement,
you don't go to resources that don't understand it.
You go to the resources that God has provided
and has given you that do.
That will sit and walk in the sadness
and the discouragement with you.
That have experienced it, that have the testimonies.
It's your testimony that's going to help the kingdom
where there's other people that are gonna need to be seen,
loved, heard, and known.
And that's what you're gonna hold on to.
God sees you.
Even when it doesn't feel like he does.
But he is using you.
You do hear from him.
I believe that he used you to speak up for the singles.
If it wasn't for,
what if you were the only one that sent that message?
What is it that God could have done
in the hearts of those pastors,
or whoever's gonna read your email,
could start something in the heart.
He could use that to start something
in the hearts of those pastors.
We don't know.
It's also not our job to carry it.
It's not our responsibility.
But I really do believe you are being obedient.
You were honoring yourself
and honoring what he put in your heart.
He asked, like he cares for the brokenhearted.
And he sees you.
And so I don't want you to feel discouraged that you,
you know, that, you know, how do I do that?
How do I, how do I carry what I'm supposed to carry
and not carry what God's was to carry?
I want you to sit with, what is God doing?
What is he showing you?
He's brought you to this community.
I don't think it's by circumstance that you're on this call.
I know I haven't seen you in a hot minute,
but I think it was for a reason.
To remind you, he's got you, you're in community.
This is your community.
So you said you're seeing your, your, your church,
your, your ministry, your singles, you know,
ministry at church doesn't do it very well.
That's okay.
Cause guess what?
You have a community that we do, we do it well.
Okay. We don't do it perfect, but we do it well.
Okay. We're going in about six years.
We have lots of success stories.
I know because I'm one of them.
Okay. I've walked this discouragement, the hopelessness.
I've walked that out.
Okay. I know what that looks like.
Ladies, I don't ever want you to feel like I don't see you.
I don't hear you.
I don't know you because I do.
I've been there.
I've hurt, I've cried, I've like, what is happening?
God, why are you making it happen
for everybody else and not me?
Why does everybody else get the happily ever after
and not me?
I'm sitting here doing the work.
I'm showing up, but why is it not happening?
But it was through these calls,
it was through the women that are in this community,
it was through the stories and the testimonies,
and it was me being able to relate to others,
and it was the wisdom and the knowledge of the other women,
what they were experiencing
and what they were learning and growing in,
that stretched me to know what God was trying to show me
and then gave me the courage to step out in that faith
and to try things because I knew if I did
and it didn't go well, I had support.
And so I want to encourage you with that.
Like, ladies, don't put the focus on what God is doing
or don't put the focus on just because someone
has an anointing or a calling or God is, you know,
given someone a gift of ministry or what,
just because they have something doesn't mean
it's where you're gonna go to get your resource.
Like your source is God,
you need to see where your resources are.
So that panel that was up there,
I bet they were a good resource
for some other things for you.
What God wasn't gonna use them for
was to be a resource for your single season.
That's not the community,
those aren't the people that you lean on
to ask the questions about dating,
you don't get wisdom from those people.
Not that they, if God didn't give you the like,
hey, they probably understand you.
Cause like you said, if they married young
and that's not the thing that, you know,
they typically speak on, that might not be their lane.
Y'all, you're not gonna see Jackie go talk about
certain things that God hasn't given her a lane for.
Like I'm not, ladies, I'm not gonna go talk about politics.
I mean, I have some opinions, but guess what?
He hasn't given me the lane and said,
hey, I've given you the grace and the space
to go have that, okay?
He might give me a little subtle things,
but he's walked me through a single season.
He's walking me through blending a family.
He's walking me through, you know,
marriage that's gone through a lot like trauma,
not just me, but my husband and my kids.
He's walking me through certain seasons
where I'm having to walk through difficult things
because once he walks me through it,
I'm gonna get to use what I've walked through
to pour back into other people.
And that's what he's gonna do for each of you.
That's what Jackie was talking about
on Supernatural Saturday, ladies.
Y'all are the revivalists of this movement.
You're here to partner with what we're doing here.
God doesn't use just one person to push this wave
of kingdom marriage and family and reconciliation of that.
He uses the body of Christ to do that.
And he's using each and every one of you
and every one of your stories
and every single one of your tears
that you are crying,
that's going to literally sow in to the ground
and those seeds that have been planted.
That's what he's using you for.
Hold on to that, ladies.
He sees you, he knows you.
Partner with him.
Release what is his to carry and what is his to carry.
and partner with what is ours.
Thank you so much, Sarai.
I'm so thankful.
I'm glad I stretched our call.
I'm thankful for Holy Spirit for showing up.
Sarai, I am so thankful for what you did.
That took courage to send that email.
It took courage to say, you know what?
This didn't feel good.
Have confidence.
God sees you and he's using you.
And he's got you in a community that sees you
and is here for you and is here to lift you up.
Okay.
Thank you, I appreciate that.
You feeling, like, how do you feel?
You feeling?
I mean, I felt validated by getting an actual response
because I didn't even think I was going to get a response.
Yeah.
Am I totally confident that it's actually
gonna get to our pastor?
I don't know.
And again, you're right.
So when you said, that's not my job to worry about the app,
that's an outcome.
That's the outcome, that's his.
You know what?
You could just sit there and just be like,
Lord, help me.
Help me, Lord.
Thank you for what you're showing me.
Like, grow me, teach me, show me, heal me, grow me, right?
Ladies, this, y'all, it's,
heart work is continual.
And Sara, you're doing that.
But you know what?
Never before this program would I have spoken up.
Exactly.
I wouldn't have.
That's what the heart work does.
That's why it's such a foundation.
Like, you learn it, then you come in, you know,
that's why I'm like, come to phase two,
cause we're gonna, I'm gonna, ladies, that is like,
I just feel like heaviness to do a lot of work
to do whatever it is that God calls me to do
to help you ladies walk out heart work.
Like, that's my heart.
I know what that feels like.
I know at times it can be discouraging
and I want to be encouraging to you all.
God has done such amazing things in this community
and he's still gonna do it.
And let me tell you, celebrating all the engagements
and the marriages, it is exciting.
And like, I'm telling you, there are women
that I've coached and that, like,
that literally thought they were never gonna get married.
That have literally been raw, real, and vulnerable,
just like you Sarat, like, and they were like,
this is it, like, what's happening?
And let me tell you, those stories come in
and see Jackie gets them all.
And I'm so thankful she posts them on her social media
cause then when I get to see them, I'm like, yes.
And that's gonna happen for you.
We just, we don't get,
unfortunately we don't get the outcome.
But there's a bigger purpose and a bigger relationship
that God is calling us to.
And that's so important.
And so I don't want us to miss that blessing.
And so I just, I thank each and every one of you
for sharing your story and sharing your story
and so I just, I thank each and every one of you.
I want, you know, ladies, I hope this afternoon,
I hope y'all feel encouraged and feel blessed,
feel loved, seen, known, all of it.
Thank your sisters for those that, you know,
open their hearts and ask the questions.
I only know, I know we only had three
and we're going this long,
but I really hope the message really spoke to you.
I think it was really timely.
I think it's Holy Spirit, especially, you know,
us kind of extending.
I really feel that was needed.
So ladies, with that,
let me go ahead and just close us out quickly in prayer.
Because that was long and then I will see if any of you ladies want to come back for tonight.
We're still covering the same content, but we'll have new questions and hopefully with
me going through this live here on the one o'clock, my goal is to be able to really pick out
the good parts and get us through quickly this evening so we can get to more questions tonight.
So Heavenly Father, I just thank you for reminding us that you are so trustworthy in
every single season that you are with us, Lord, that you never ask us to carry tomorrow,
that you are only giving us what we are asked to carry today.
Lord, I thank you for the reminders that, what you've given us in community,
how much you love us, that you see us, know us. Oh, thank you, Jesus.
I thank you that we have each other to lean on. It's so important that we can be reminded
of what is ours to carry and what is yours. But even the things that we feel like we have to carry,
that we have to give up, and as difficult sometimes that is to let go of, we have
people and community that we can lean on that just understand how difficult that can feel.
And we don't want to feel shame when we do it, but we have encouragement. We can be lifted up
by each other that, you know, you bring us this body of Christ to lift us up so that we can do
that, Lord. Lord, just continue to lighten our hearts, to surrender all that's yours back to you.
To trust you with the stuff that was never ours to carry. God, do only what you can do.
Lord, may we become women that are anchored in Christ, who are steady in those storms,
and are faithful for what you entrust to us. Teach us, show us, heal us, and grow us.
In Jesus' mighty name, thank you, ladies. Have a great Tuesday. We'll see you all tonight.