WEBVTT

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There we go, so we are recording so that we make sure that we get both sessions recorded

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today.

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So yeah, do I have anybody that is brand new to Phase 2?

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Is it Renee?

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Well, welcome.

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Usually it's Ebony that is the coach for the 8 o'clock Eastern call.

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She's traveling this evening, so I have stepped in to help her out.

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So I'm excited to be here with y'all.

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We had a really amazing 1 o'clock session today.

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I actually extended it a little longer, which if you've ever watched any of my replays,

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you know I'm a little long-winded.

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That's not uncommon for me, but Holy Spirit really showed up, and so I am really expectant

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that He's going to show up again tonight.

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I really feel the weight of Holy Spirit on this message.

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I prayed a lot this week into this.

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I've been really, really seeking the Lord with a lot of the posts that y'all have been

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sharing in the community, which is amazing.

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And so yeah, I'm just really looking forward to what He's got in store for us tonight.

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So I'm going to go ahead and pray for us, then I'm going to do some housekeeping, then

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we're going to do some celebrating what I'm seeing in community, which I'm super excited

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about.

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And then we'll go ahead and dive right in, okay?

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So Heavenly Father, I just thank You for this evening, Lord.

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And Lord, I just ask that You are with our girl Ebony tonight as she is traveling home

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to Texas here from Mississippi.

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Father, I just thank You for the opportunity to be able to spend this evening with the

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women on tonight's call.

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I know this is not something that I'm typically here for, and I'm just extremely blessed to

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get to spend this time with the ladies.

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And I just ask that Your presence be felt here with us this evening, Lord.

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Lord, I just ask that You speak to every single one of the women on this call and the

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ones that are watching in replay, and just speak what it is that You want each and every

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one of these ladies to hear, Lord.

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Speak to each one individually, Lord.

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Thank You, Jesus.

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Lord, I just ask that You continue meeting us in every single moment as we walk through

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this phase two, Lord.

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Yes, Jesus.

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That You're using each of those moments to transform our hearts.

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And in those moments that sometimes are not the easiest, You still use them.

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Lord, tonight, I just ask that You help us to be more clear on what You've entrusted

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specifically to us.

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Yes, Jesus.

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And show us what we need to surrender to You that we've been picking up and carrying.

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That's actually Your responsibility, Father.

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Forgive us for picking up what only You can do, Lord.

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I thank You that You're gentle with us when we fall short in doing that.

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Lord, I just ask that You give us courage to walk in that obedience, the wisdom to discern

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what that is, and the peace to trust You with those things that only You can do, Father.

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Lord, I just ask that You continue to teach us, show us, heal us, and grow us in Jesus'

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mighty name.

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Amen.

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All right, ladies.

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All right.

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So, yes, absolutely.

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Totally fine if you just have to listen.

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I'm used to my ladies on 1 o'clock having to work just listening.

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So, that is not something I am a stranger to.

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I totally get it.

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I know that 1 o'clock session is usually a little bit smaller than this evening.

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Excuse me.

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Just a minute.

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I got my housekeeping notes that I got to make sure I don't forget anything.

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So, yeah, definitely get that.

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So, by all means, totally okay.

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If you can come on camera, though.

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Even if you're working or not working, love to see your face.

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Okay, that's always, I just like to see y'all's faces,

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especially since I don't ever get to see you ladies.

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So I always appreciate it, okay?

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So not a problem at all,

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but I think we had one lady share, Renee,

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she's brand new to phase two, so we wanna welcome you.

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Do I have anybody else that's brand new to phase two?

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Most of you look brand new to me,

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but I also recognize many of you

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from your post in the app as well.

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But all right, well, I'm not gonna go much further here.

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I am definitely one of your coaches.

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I'm sure you've seen me in the app.

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Okay, I'm a success story.

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There's not really, I think I share it just about every week

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so if you wanna know more,

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you can always check out a replay that I do at one o'clock

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because I'll tell you some things there.

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But let's just definitely roll into

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some of those announcements.

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We do have that Modern Dating Sucks book club

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that just started two days ago,

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so that's gonna be the last one

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that I know that Jackie is putting together for the summer.

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So I'm excited if you are in that

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or if you got to be part of one of those.

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I was sharing with the ladies on the afternoon call,

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one thing I realized,

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and some people have actually come and asked in the app,

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like, hey, I'm in the book club and I'm in phase two,

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but I'm not allowed to date

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because I'm in the book club.

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And so ladies, I want you to just feel comfortable

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in knowing that's totally okay.

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Okay, yes, phase two, we do prompt you

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and release you to start dating,

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but there's no pressure to jump in,

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dive in quickly to the dating.

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So if you're in that book club,

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don't feel like you can't come

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and still participate in phase two

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if you're dating or not dating.

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I don't ever want you ladies to feel like

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you can't come to these calls or you can't participate

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just because you might not be dating someone yet.

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What some of you may or may not know

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is when I was a student here in this community,

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we called it last year,

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it wasn't last year single,

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it was married in 12 months or less,

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but y'all, I didn't start dating until after the 12 months.

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So it was like, okay, I'm gonna get married in a year,

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but I haven't actually started dating.

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So just know that that is not mandatory.

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Now, would I encourage you ladies to do what I did?

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No.

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Now, was there a reason that that was necessary

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and that was my journey?

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Yes, because God had me walking my own journey,

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my own path, like he was doing certain things in me.

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And so the most important thing

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is that you are leaning into what God is having you do

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and you're following that.

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That's always super important.

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So yeah, just know, even if you're not dating,

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don't feel like you can't participate, okay?

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Can't come to the calls,

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can't share what God's highlighting to you, okay?

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I have lots of ladies that will share in the app

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if you haven't checked it out,

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things that are not dating related.

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So I just want you to get connected in community,

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get yourself vulnerable.

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God has a way of definitely showing you

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what it is that he wants to highlight to you.

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So definitely keep that in mind.

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When you ladies are making posts,

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we are definitely really, really diligent

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about responding to you.

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However, the way that our app has been set up,

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and I don't know, did anybody do the update on the app?

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Anybody?

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How's everybody, how's the update doing for everybody else?

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Thumbs up, thumbs down?

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I'm curious.

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Okay, that's good.

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So maybe it's just the admin buttons for me.

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So that's good.

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I'm glad that y'all are having success with that.

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On my admin end, it's not great.

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So what would totally help out,

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so yeah, you might not have any difference on the update.

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For my end, there was some changes

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and it made things a little more challenging, but.

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Um, so I'm just going to request that you ladies just to help us because it is

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important that we respond to you that if after a few days, if, if we haven't

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responded to you, make another post and say, Hey, Ebony, Carla, did you see my

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post?

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Can you go check it out so that way we can just make sure that we've scoured

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through and found what it was that you're referring to.

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Cause we don't want you to have to like copy and paste everything again.

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Okay.

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Cause that's not necessary.

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So this way we, we have eyes on it.

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Um, and one way that we also know that you've seen our PR, our responses is when

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you ladies respond to us.

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And sometimes when you ladies respond to us, you'll have other questions and maybe

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we won't see that.

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So don't hesitate to add another post, a fresh new post and be like, Hey, Carla.

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Hey, Ebony.

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Responded to you a couple of days ago.

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Not sure if you saw it.

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But if you want to go check it out, I have a few other questions cause we'll go

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check that out as well.

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You know, myself and Ebony, we do try to constantly go back and click and make

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sure like everyone that we've responded to, we'll go back and check and see, okay,

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did you add anything?

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Cause we, I know, I know myself and I know Ebony does this too.

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Um, we give you a lot of questions or we're going to want some more detail from

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you.

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Okay.

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Or we're going to want to hear some of your processing.

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And so, um, I don't want to neglect if you've come back and shared that.

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Okay.

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Cause our, our heart is to coach you well, and that's one way we, we could

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steward that.

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Okay.

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So if you could just work with us on that, that'd be great.

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Uh, make sure you're checking out that resource tab.

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All right.

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I know I had a few questions about, all right, what am I supposed to do to move

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on to phase three that is in the resource tab.

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Okay.

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So it will give you all, all the things that you need to do to shift over from

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phase two to phase three, if you're ready for it.

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Okay.

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Okay.

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The only, the only thing we ask is that you stay here for at least five to six

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weeks.

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You've watched one video a week, the video content, hopefully you've shown up

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to some lives or at least watch the replay and engaged in the app some or

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engaged with us coaches.

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Okay.

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At least myself or Ebony.

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Okay.

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So, um, and then once you've done that and you feel ready to move to phase

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three, you are welcome to do that.

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Okay.

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I have a lot of ladies that are like, Carla, I just, I'm, I don't want to

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just stay here for six weeks.

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I like to stay here a little longer.

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Is that okay?

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And you know, yep.

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Peggy's I see you, I see you shaking your head.

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Peggy's like, yep, I'm staying in here for a minute and that's totally okay.

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All right.

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We have this phase for ladies to feel comfortable and confident to utilize and

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start applying those principles that y'all learned in heartwork.

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Okay.

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And heartwork at phase one, that's where you, you learn the material, right?

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And you work on the inner heart stuff.

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Okay.

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Now, once you've worked on that, you get like launched, right?

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It's like, okay, I've done the heartwork internally.

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Now, how do I show up in real life, utilizing everything that I've learned?

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Okay.

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Cause guess what ladies?

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Heartwork doesn't stop.

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All right.

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I've been in this community since 2020 and ladies, I still have to apply

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heartwork.

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Oftentimes the things that I'm coaching you all on are the things that God is

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also speaking to me to believe it or not, like true story tax.

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Okay.

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So, um, just know that you, we have this phase for you ladies to navigate what

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that looks like.

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Okay.

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That's what we're here for.

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We're here to give you the support that's needed.

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And then when you feel like you've gotten, gotten the groove, right.

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And you want to get into the bigger community, do more events with last year

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single, you know, really come together with a lot more people that have been in

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the community.

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There's people that have been in the community for a little while.

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There's the men, the women, people that have so much knowledge, so many other

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great coaches over there too.

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So there's so much great content over there, but we really want you to feel

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like you've got like the tools and resources that you need and that you've

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really, um, feel confident in showing up, utilizing those heartwork tools.

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Okay.

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Um, and then in the resource, so that's in the resource tab for the phase three

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and all the.

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things same thing with hiring a coach to do one-on-one all right we have a lot of

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ladies that utilize that it's not mandatory okay I know some ladies are

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like oh is that why I'm not getting breakthrough well not necessarily all

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right some ladies prefer to have more one-on-one coaching time you know if

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you're like me I'm an external processor all right so I need a lot of back and

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forth dialogue I need to hear myself kind of process out loud I need someone

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else to bounce it off to and so that's really helpful for some people and so we

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can't necessarily do that for a long period of time on these group calls and

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sometimes it's it's hard to do when we're on the apps you know there's a lot

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of back and forth so if that's something that you just feel like I really want

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to invest that you know and I think I'm gonna really use that we do offer that

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it's not included in the membership cost you know your monthly membership but it

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is an extra resource and an additional fee if you want if you want it okay so

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keep that in mind for the live coaching when I get done with all the content

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that we've got to cover today y'all I think you probably know the drill you

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know you raise your hand you let me know you got questions all right I told Ebony

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I was like I got to get through this material quick because I was like your

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lady there's more ladies on the evening call and I'm like I know the ladies come

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in the evenings they have more questions because they can unmute they're not

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working most of my ladies on one o'clock are usually working so I don't get as

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many ladies unmuting so I was like I gotta get through this really quickly I

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want to make sure I get through as many as I can and so just know if we can't

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get you in and get all the questions in ladies please go post your questions in

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the app myself and Ebony will get to those by tomorrow okay that's that's our

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goal we really want to make sure that we get to your question and then I

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always tell my ladies on the one o'clock what I like to do is I like to rotate so

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I don't always get the same ladies okay if I if I miss somebody the week prior I

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try to take them first the next week okay so I don't know if that happens

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here all right so if that happens to some of you ladies you're like oh I have

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my hand raised and sometimes Ebony can't get to me let me know that like if you

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had your hand raised last week and Ebony couldn't get to you let me know that in

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the chat and if you have a question this week I do want to make sure I write that

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down and that I cover one of your questions I like to make sure that we

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hear from as many people as possible okay sometimes I know it's really easy

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it's like oh it's the same people over and over again not that that's bad but I

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know sometimes it can be a little like you know nerve-wracking or you know

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difficult to get the courage to want to speak up and then when we do and we

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don't get called on it's like okay that I can't do that again and so I never want

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ladies feeling like we don't see you we don't hear you and so I always wanna

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make sure that we're doing that and lastly one thing that I always ask my

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ladies on the one o'clock where to have been lately is I need someone to

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volunteer to keep eyes in the chat for me so have anybody able to do that for

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me tonight anybody Chrissy I saw your hand go at first just keep an eye if I

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miss anything that you're like you're allowed to interrupt me you're allowed

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to unmute and say hey Carla there's a question in the chat I want to make sure

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that you saw it so that we get to it okay sometimes that chat can be going or

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I can be you know squirreling off somewhere all right Holy Spirit can be

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leading somewhere and there's a question especially if a lady can't unmute or

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raise their hand to unmute they'll put their question in the chat and I always

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want to make sure that I get to those okay so Chrissy thank you so much for

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volunteering I appreciate you all right so that's it for our housekeeping and

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let's now celebrate I'm gonna celebrate because I don't know like what I don't

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know if Ebony does this but I like to celebrate what I'm seeing over the

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course of the week from you ladies like I think that's so important I think

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It's so easy to sometimes shift our focus, sometimes on the negative.

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Like, we have that, like if you ever watch the news, I don't really often watch the news

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because every time you watch the news, like, what do you see?

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Ladies, don't leave me hanging here.

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I'm sure you all are more chatty with Ebony.

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Negative. Negative. Yeah.

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And so I like, I don't know about y'all, but I'm not I'm not down with that.

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So I really think it's important for us to be focusing on what are we doing well?

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Where are we growing?

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Where are we seeing like God moving?

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Where do we see success?

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And let's focus on that and let's lift each up each other up there.

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OK, so like this week when I was looking at post, I saw a lot of women starting to come out with courage.

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They're starting to come out and they're starting to be be truthful and vulnerable and raw and real.

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Y'all, that was not something that was happening probably several months ago.

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And that is so important to your healing and your growth and this community and what makes it so successful.

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All right. So I love that.

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I'm so thankful that y'all are really embracing that.

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I'm seeing women slowing down instead of rushing towards that certainty, which I know we've spent a lot of time on that.

333
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You know, we want certainty.

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And we think we just have to know when it's more about gathering the information so we have the clarity to know.

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What we need to do next.

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And so I'm seeing a lot more of that happen, people are asking deeper questions or being open to answering those deeper questions, which is awesome.

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I'm seeing a lot more ladies stepping into that obedience.

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Instead of, you know, looking at the outcome.

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Many of you are starting to invite each other into your stories, and I'm seeing a lot of you encourage one another.

340
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How many posted something and had one of your sisters here in the community, like, encourage you?

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Peggy, Edwidge, yes, Amanda, yes.

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So I'm seeing if you, I know Roberta, I think she's messaged on some people's, I know Kaylee is really amazing at it.

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So when you're posting in there, and I'm seeing you ladies, like, engage with one another and you're inviting each other in, like, ladies, that's how we lift each other up.

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That's what makes this community thrive.

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And so I love that we're seeing that.

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I'm also seeing a lot of ladies really live out the hard work in ways of, they're recognizing some of their old patterns and they're saying, you know what, I don't, I don't want to continue, I don't want to continue in that old pattern.

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I want to, I want to do it differently now.

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Like, I recognize it, I have the self-awareness, and so I want to do it differently.

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And y'all, we might not be doing it perfectly, but that's okay.

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Y'all, I, I've been doing this hard work thing for almost six years, and I still do not do it perfectly.

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But what we celebrate is that we recognize it and we just say, okay, you know what, I'm showing up in my old pattern, what can I do to shift it?

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That's it.

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All right.

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So I love seeing that, um, because it really shows me ladies that you are, you are doing it right.

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All right.

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So I love seeing that, um, because it really shows me ladies that you are not just learning the information of hard work, but you're actually starting to live it out.

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Like, that's why we have you do hard work first.

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And I can't remember if Jackie said this on a supernatural Saturday.

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I think she did.

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She's like, you know, we sell ya and get you in here and then give you something else at first, but we, it's because we know what you need.

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And then you're still going to get what it is that you came here for, but it's going to require a little bit of participation and a little hard work.

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And so, um, when I start seeing ladies in this phase.

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start making those growths like ladies it is like if you stay here for just you

364
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know if you stay here a little bit longer and you and you watch some of

365
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your sisters in here you will see the transition in your sisters you're you

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will start recognizing how they show up differently and ladies I hope you see it

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in yourselves too I really really do my best to highlight that to you so if

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you're posting in the app or you're coming on here ladies that is always

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something that is my biggest like that's what's something I always am constantly

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wanting to focus on for y'all because I know how important it is is I want y'all

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to see your success because believe it or not it's there it is totally there so

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again this week saw lots of different situations so questions lots of

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questions different women different questions different situations different

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ages and so things look different on the surface but when I sit with the Lord

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I'm like okay Lord what is it that you want to really reveal here and I go a

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little deeper there's always an invitation that's very very similar and

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so this week I really felt he was showing me something he was showing me

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this week that y'all are carrying something some of you are carrying this

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these questions of will he change will I get married is this really gonna happen

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am I doing this right like how will I know

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is that been you this week yeah it's okay all your questions are the same

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questions that I had as well yeah like I want to know like I just want it I just

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want to figure it out like yes like how do I do this what am I supposed to do I

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want to do it differently what's that look like and I know some of the ladies

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I know this because some ladies come back to me and they tell me they tell me

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it I know not everyone will come and say it out loud and so if you spit thought

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it and you haven't told me that's okay I know when y'all come and ask your

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questions and I don't answer them directly I know some of you get

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frustrated cuz I don't come out and give you the answer there's actually a reason

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for that a lot of that is because I'm not your source I'm not God I'm a coach

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I'm a resource that he uses I've walked this community out I've been where

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you're sitting all right but my job isn't to tell you what to do because I

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don't know what God has in store for you only you and God get to have those

394
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intimate conversations together what my goal is is to point you back to him and

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heart work tools that I know work because those things that you learned in

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heart work Jackie got those from the Lord and I know that Jackie got those

397
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from the Lord because y'all I've been around this whole like self-help get the

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00:29:19.140 --> 00:29:25.260
therapy you'll hear Jackie talk about you know there's some of us students

399
00:29:25.260 --> 00:29:29.780
that you know we've come and we've had the years and years of therapy and then

400
00:29:29.780 --> 00:29:34.340
we come to this program and this is the tipping point I'm one of her students

401
00:29:34.340 --> 00:29:39.500
that she's like she's talking about like I was the one that had been in

402
00:29:39.500 --> 00:29:44.180
years and years and years of therapy I could sit here and tell you exactly why

403
00:29:44.180 --> 00:29:50.100
I thought the way that I did and why my patterns were the way they were but it

404
00:29:50.100 --> 00:29:55.940
wasn't changing anything something was missing and it was the heart work stuff

405
00:29:55.940 --> 00:30:01.420
it was the healing stuff it was the partnering with the with the Lord

406
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And so now I go in and now I'm like,

407
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I still, you know, research some of that stuff

408
00:30:09.360 --> 00:30:10.360
and look at some of that stuff.

409
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And it's so funny.

410
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Cause I'm like, I see it in other things

411
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like other Christian people who like mentor

412
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and do those things.

413
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And I'm like, okay, that's how I know.

414
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Like Jackie heard this from the Lord.

415
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There's an anointing on it.

416
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I've lived it here in this community.

417
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I've seen what happens here.

418
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And so that doesn't change.

419
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And so I know like those questions

420
00:30:40.840 --> 00:30:42.960
that you want the exact answer to,

421
00:30:42.960 --> 00:30:47.960
like how will I know if this was actually a date

422
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or how will I know when I'm supposed to introduce someone

423
00:30:56.000 --> 00:30:57.640
to my friends and family?

424
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I would love if there was an exact answer,

425
00:31:05.080 --> 00:31:06.840
but I don't specifically know what it is

426
00:31:06.840 --> 00:31:08.720
that God wants you to work on.

427
00:31:10.160 --> 00:31:13.640
So I'm gonna typically ask you more questions

428
00:31:14.960 --> 00:31:19.960
and let you make the choices and the decisions.

429
00:31:20.800 --> 00:31:24.800
And what is God telling you is your next faithful step.

430
00:31:25.800 --> 00:31:30.040
I want you to have peace with the step that you take,

431
00:31:30.040 --> 00:31:35.040
not because I said it, but because God gave you the peace,

432
00:31:35.480 --> 00:31:38.960
even though it might not make sense to do it.

433
00:31:41.120 --> 00:31:42.160
Okay?

434
00:31:42.160 --> 00:31:47.160
So I see a lot of you carrying that kind of heaviness

435
00:31:48.520 --> 00:31:49.520
and I get it.

436
00:31:50.720 --> 00:31:53.040
I have carried that too.

437
00:31:53.120 --> 00:31:55.880
I'll even own, I still carried some of that.

438
00:31:57.520 --> 00:32:02.240
I still carry some of these things

439
00:32:03.200 --> 00:32:05.240
that I think are my responsibility.

440
00:32:08.040 --> 00:32:11.920
What I also am seeing is that,

441
00:32:12.960 --> 00:32:17.320
ladies, there's also a lot of you that are carrying

442
00:32:17.320 --> 00:32:19.040
what God has asked you to carry.

443
00:32:20.040 --> 00:32:21.080
So I don't want you to think,

444
00:32:21.080 --> 00:32:24.520
oh, she's telling me I'm carrying things that are not mine.

445
00:32:24.520 --> 00:32:26.200
I want you to know you are,

446
00:32:26.200 --> 00:32:28.400
maybe you might be carrying some things that are not yours,

447
00:32:28.400 --> 00:32:30.800
but it doesn't mean that you are not carrying things

448
00:32:30.800 --> 00:32:32.440
that are yours.

449
00:32:32.440 --> 00:32:34.760
So some of the things that I'm seeing y'all carry

450
00:32:34.760 --> 00:32:38.560
that are yours is obedience,

451
00:32:39.760 --> 00:32:43.240
is truth, is curiosity.

452
00:32:44.120 --> 00:32:46.440
I'm seeing all of those things.

453
00:32:46.840 --> 00:32:49.640
I'm seeing you carry boundaries.

454
00:32:51.360 --> 00:32:53.040
That's huge.

455
00:32:53.040 --> 00:32:55.800
We have such an amazing teaching.

456
00:32:55.800 --> 00:32:59.480
Renee does a great job of talking about boundaries.

457
00:32:59.480 --> 00:33:00.840
It's in our phase two content.

458
00:33:00.840 --> 00:33:03.680
If you haven't watched it yet, so good.

459
00:33:04.600 --> 00:33:07.000
Boundaries is so, so, so good.

460
00:33:07.000 --> 00:33:10.000
And I see you ladies carrying that faithfulness.

461
00:33:11.560 --> 00:33:14.640
And ladies, you don't have to do it perfectly.

462
00:33:14.640 --> 00:33:16.000
I don't do it perfectly.

463
00:33:16.960 --> 00:33:21.680
There are days when my faith is like this.

464
00:33:23.000 --> 00:33:24.960
I just don't have it.

465
00:33:24.960 --> 00:33:27.640
And I need to lean on God more.

466
00:33:29.280 --> 00:33:30.960
It doesn't mean that I'm doing something wrong.

467
00:33:30.960 --> 00:33:33.680
It just means I need my savior.

468
00:33:35.240 --> 00:33:36.480
Okay?

469
00:33:36.480 --> 00:33:39.880
So I couldn't help but think like,

470
00:33:39.880 --> 00:33:43.600
what if God's question to us this week

471
00:33:43.600 --> 00:33:48.600
was simply asking what belongs to me

472
00:33:50.440 --> 00:33:51.920
and what belongs to him?

473
00:33:53.240 --> 00:33:58.240
So ask yourself, God, what belongs to you

474
00:33:58.560 --> 00:34:00.080
and what belongs to me?

475
00:34:01.920 --> 00:34:02.760
All right?

476
00:34:05.720 --> 00:34:06.800
And sit with that.

477
00:34:08.280 --> 00:34:10.120
What is he speaking to you right now?

478
00:34:11.080 --> 00:34:11.920
Anything.

479
00:34:12.920 --> 00:34:15.360
You can share it with us in the chat.

480
00:34:20.800 --> 00:34:22.120
I need to get some, some of you ladies

481
00:34:22.120 --> 00:34:23.360
need to have some coffee.

482
00:34:25.679 --> 00:34:28.199
Y'all look, y'all, y'all don't look.

483
00:34:28.199 --> 00:34:30.000
I'm sure I'm gonna, I'm gonna message Ebony

484
00:34:30.000 --> 00:34:33.320
and I'm gonna ask her, are your ladies always this quiet?

485
00:34:33.320 --> 00:34:35.920
I can't imagine y'all are this quiet

486
00:34:35.920 --> 00:34:37.600
because I know she's not quiet.

487
00:34:40.040 --> 00:34:41.080
What's going on?

488
00:34:41.520 --> 00:34:42.440
Job hours.

489
00:34:44.679 --> 00:34:46.639
Yes. Daisy. That's good.

490
00:34:48.159 --> 00:34:51.000
Ooh, sit with that.

491
00:34:51.000 --> 00:34:54.679
Yeah. Sometimes it gets uncomfortable, doesn't it?

492
00:34:56.760 --> 00:34:59.240
Ladies raise your hand if that makes sense.

493
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:04.440
Do you kind of like, oh, I got to sit with some, oh, oh, I don't know.

494
00:35:04.800 --> 00:35:06.760
Uh, I don't know if I want to do that, Karla.

495
00:35:08.640 --> 00:35:09.280
Uh, yeah.

496
00:35:09.280 --> 00:35:10.280
Repeat the question.

497
00:35:10.640 --> 00:35:12.480
Um, asking, okay.

498
00:35:12.480 --> 00:35:21.320
So what I'm asking you right now is what is God faithfully asking you to carry?

499
00:35:21.800 --> 00:35:22.680
What is God?

500
00:35:22.680 --> 00:35:25.240
So I guess let's just talk about our big idea.

501
00:35:26.200 --> 00:35:32.040
So faith, it's to faithfully carry what God has entrusted to you while trusting

502
00:35:32.040 --> 00:35:35.720
him with what he's never asked you to carry.

503
00:35:38.280 --> 00:35:42.720
So what is it that is your responsibility?

504
00:35:42.720 --> 00:35:44.800
What is it that is yours to carry?

505
00:35:46.560 --> 00:35:51.800
And have you been carrying anything that's not your responsibility, but it's

506
00:35:51.800 --> 00:36:00.720
actually his and sit with that a little bit later, we're going to do our

507
00:36:00.720 --> 00:36:01.440
activation.

508
00:36:01.440 --> 00:36:07.480
So not right now, but near, like here in the near future, if you have a paper

509
00:36:07.480 --> 00:36:11.040
close by paper and pen, you're going to want that.

510
00:36:11.280 --> 00:36:11.840
Okay.

511
00:36:12.360 --> 00:36:16.360
Um, we are gonna hopefully have some time to get that started.

512
00:36:17.120 --> 00:36:23.280
So how many of you, um, have ever needed help moving?

513
00:36:26.680 --> 00:36:27.480
Raise your hand.

514
00:36:28.760 --> 00:36:29.400
Yeah.

515
00:36:31.040 --> 00:36:31.760
Yeah.

516
00:36:34.440 --> 00:36:38.640
What typically happens when you start asking people, can you help me move?

517
00:36:42.040 --> 00:36:43.840
Oh, Christy just moved this past week.

518
00:36:43.840 --> 00:36:44.560
Girl, you in Florida.

519
00:36:44.560 --> 00:36:45.560
Where are you at in Florida?

520
00:36:47.240 --> 00:36:50.240
Oh, you can unmute.

521
00:36:51.240 --> 00:36:52.560
Uh, I'm near Tampa.

522
00:36:53.040 --> 00:36:55.600
Ah, I, I was in Sarasota.

523
00:36:57.040 --> 00:36:57.280
Yeah.

524
00:36:57.280 --> 00:36:58.280
I used to live down there.

525
00:36:58.640 --> 00:36:59.480
I love it.

526
00:37:00.800 --> 00:37:01.320
I enjoyed it.

527
00:37:02.800 --> 00:37:03.520
So pretty.

528
00:37:03.560 --> 00:37:05.440
Now I'm in texas.

529
00:37:06.080 --> 00:37:06.960
So hot here.

530
00:37:09.320 --> 00:37:09.800
Yes.

531
00:37:09.800 --> 00:37:13.280
Peggy, they run y'all.

532
00:37:14.120 --> 00:37:17.520
When you start asking people, like, can you help me move?

533
00:37:19.720 --> 00:37:24.720
There's not usually like a lot of people are not really like itching to help you.

534
00:37:24.720 --> 00:37:25.360
Right.

535
00:37:25.640 --> 00:37:26.400
Okay.

536
00:37:28.560 --> 00:37:34.280
Now, how many of you have ever been asked to help somebody move?

537
00:37:37.520 --> 00:37:38.680
Has anybody done that?

538
00:37:38.880 --> 00:37:40.520
Has anybody been the runners?

539
00:37:43.640 --> 00:37:47.040
Or have you like, have you said, you know what?

540
00:37:47.040 --> 00:37:50.560
I don't like it when people say no to not helping me move.

541
00:37:50.800 --> 00:37:52.720
So you volunteer to move.

542
00:37:52.720 --> 00:37:52.960
Okay.

543
00:37:52.960 --> 00:37:53.600
I love it.

544
00:37:53.600 --> 00:37:55.640
Amanda, you help if you can.

545
00:37:56.160 --> 00:37:56.840
I love it.

546
00:38:00.040 --> 00:38:00.600
Yes.

547
00:38:00.600 --> 00:38:06.400
Ron, see, I knew I had a lot of ladies on my afternoon call that were like, I do

548
00:38:06.400 --> 00:38:07.600
help people.

549
00:38:08.960 --> 00:38:09.840
Yes.

550
00:38:09.840 --> 00:38:16.800
Of course, my, my, you know, last year, single ladies would be helpful.

551
00:38:18.920 --> 00:38:19.880
Of course.

552
00:38:22.400 --> 00:38:23.360
Absolutely.

553
00:38:27.360 --> 00:38:32.760
So Shelly, your, your brother and sister-in-law moved up the street.

554
00:38:33.880 --> 00:38:34.880
That's helpful.

555
00:38:34.880 --> 00:38:36.680
So I'm like, okay, that's helpful.

556
00:38:36.680 --> 00:38:37.720
Up the street.

557
00:38:38.760 --> 00:38:39.760
That's helpful.

558
00:38:39.760 --> 00:38:40.160
Sometimes.

559
00:38:40.160 --> 00:38:40.360
Yeah.

560
00:38:40.360 --> 00:38:44.800
Just watching the kids is helpful, especially if they're little.

561
00:38:45.840 --> 00:38:47.920
Cause they can, they can get away even if they're older.

562
00:38:47.920 --> 00:38:52.160
Cause then they just think they, then they just, I have older kids, y'all.

563
00:38:52.440 --> 00:38:54.320
Sometimes that's, that's difficult.

564
00:38:55.000 --> 00:38:57.280
So yeah, 100%.

565
00:38:57.600 --> 00:38:59.080
So now let me ask you this.

566
00:38:59.360 --> 00:38:59.960
Okay.

567
00:39:00.280 --> 00:39:04.120
I'm going to ship this so we can get back into kind of where I'm heading with this.

568
00:39:04.880 --> 00:39:06.520
I want you to picture yourself.

569
00:39:10.040 --> 00:39:18.960
If you are volunteering to offer someone the help and you're moving, helping them

570
00:39:18.960 --> 00:39:31.320
move, what's going to happen if all of a sudden you look around and you're the

571
00:39:32.000 --> 00:39:38.520
only one picking up the heavy things and moving all the boxes and all the other

572
00:39:38.520 --> 00:39:45.160
people that came to help or volunteer or not really doing much, or people said

573
00:39:45.160 --> 00:39:50.560
that they were going to come and then they don't show up, you're going to

574
00:39:50.560 --> 00:39:52.960
start just picking everything up.

575
00:39:52.960 --> 00:39:53.640
Right?

576
00:39:54.840 --> 00:39:56.760
What's going to happen in here.

577
00:39:57.400 --> 00:39:58.600
It's going to happen in your heart.

578
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:07.080
You can unmute. You can chat. Ladies, we got to get this. We got to get, we got to get,

579
00:40:07.080 --> 00:40:08.080
we got to wake up.

580
00:40:08.080 --> 00:40:14.280
It's kind of resentful if you're the only one who's always doing everything.

581
00:40:14.280 --> 00:40:18.600
Yeah. There's some resentment that sets in. Peggy, I see you unmuted. What, what's going

582
00:40:18.600 --> 00:40:20.720
to happen in your heart?

583
00:40:20.720 --> 00:40:24.880
I'm going to feel like abandoned.

584
00:40:24.880 --> 00:40:33.120
Yeah. Chrissy's saying like, there's passive aggressive, like you're there to help, but

585
00:40:33.120 --> 00:40:38.680
it's going to kind of, there's going to be some irritation there, right? There's gonna

586
00:40:38.680 --> 00:40:51.160
be some chaos that starts happening, right? So that happens, ladies, because some of that

587
00:40:51.160 --> 00:41:02.520
stuff is never yours to carry. And I don't think that that happens because you're controlling.

588
00:41:02.520 --> 00:41:10.680
All right. Sometimes I know it's easy for people to think that I'm just always controlling.

589
00:41:10.680 --> 00:41:16.800
Does anybody else feel like, okay, they, they're like, oh yeah, I, I typically kind of take

590
00:41:16.800 --> 00:41:23.160
charge, have to control. You kind of take on a lot of responsibilities. Is there anyone

591
00:41:23.160 --> 00:41:28.600
in here that does that? I know I got some people that are not on camera. I see some

592
00:41:28.600 --> 00:41:34.280
hands raised. If you're not on camera and you want to, you know, just, okay. Yeah. Someone

593
00:41:34.280 --> 00:41:40.200
said like my whole life sometimes, you know, yep, yep. So I've got some of you that do

594
00:41:40.200 --> 00:41:48.760
that. Absolutely. What happens is sometimes I'm like, well, I don't know if it's that

595
00:41:48.760 --> 00:41:57.680
I'm controlling. I actually think what it, what happens is it's because you care, you

596
00:41:57.680 --> 00:42:06.080
deeply care. And so you start picking this up because you, you care about the outcome.

597
00:42:06.080 --> 00:42:15.320
You care about wanting people to, you know, get what they need and you know, get the help

598
00:42:15.320 --> 00:42:21.000
not feel alone. Cause you don't want to feel alone. Cause how many of you will offer to

599
00:42:21.000 --> 00:42:26.480
help people move because you've needed it and no one's been there to help you. That's

600
00:42:26.480 --> 00:42:34.800
me. I was a single mom and having to move a few times. And I often felt like my, like

601
00:42:34.920 --> 00:42:42.400
who I thought were my close friends. They never could. I'd have to call like strangers.

602
00:42:42.400 --> 00:42:47.160
Like I'd have to, like, people would be like, Hey, I have a, I have a friend that you can

603
00:42:47.160 --> 00:42:54.040
call and it would literally be like people that were just going out and doing good deeds

604
00:42:54.040 --> 00:43:03.440
for like, you know, little old me, little single mama, you know, I didn't always feel

605
00:43:03.480 --> 00:43:09.560
good. I was thankful for it, but then I don't know about y'all, but sometimes I feel guilty.

606
00:43:09.560 --> 00:43:14.400
Like, why am I making them do this? Then, then it's like, okay, maybe I should go pick

607
00:43:14.400 --> 00:43:19.000
this up and do, you know, and then I'm sitting here like trying to move all the things and

608
00:43:19.000 --> 00:43:22.640
stressing myself out and it's getting more chaotic. And they're like, no, I'm here to

609
00:43:22.640 --> 00:43:28.360
help you. And I'm like, well, no, but cause now I'm feeling bad. All right. I don't think

610
00:43:28.360 --> 00:43:33.200
it's ever because we don't, we're controlling. I think it's because we don't care. And so

611
00:43:33.200 --> 00:43:38.720
I'm going to connect this back to our community this week. And so one thing I want to wreck,

612
00:43:38.720 --> 00:43:47.280
I want y'all to recognize is that I saw a lot of ladies owning what was theirs and releasing

613
00:43:47.280 --> 00:43:57.080
what wasn't. And so Peggy, like I know you, you had a big breakthrough. Peggy had an assignment

614
00:43:57.080 --> 00:44:07.560
to be courageous this past week, step out of her comfort zone and have the honest conversation

615
00:44:07.560 --> 00:44:16.520
and, and, you know, share with this guy at church. And what she didn't make her assignment

616
00:44:16.520 --> 00:44:24.600
was his response. God just asked her to be courageous and she did it. And he grew something

617
00:44:24.600 --> 00:44:32.640
in her and she allowed God to do what only he could do. And I think his name was Lonnie.

618
00:44:32.640 --> 00:44:42.680
Was that his name? Yeah. She allowed God to manage the outcome and how Lonnie responded.

619
00:44:42.680 --> 00:44:47.720
The only thing she was asked to carry was to step in faith and have some courage. That

620
00:44:47.720 --> 00:44:56.600
was hers. She felt moved to that. Was it scary? She's like, if you ladies aren't looking

621
00:44:56.600 --> 00:45:00.040
and she's shaking her head. Yes.

622
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:05.000
It doesn't mean what God is asking us is going to feel easy.

623
00:45:07.500 --> 00:45:12.080
It's just, he's going to stretch you.

624
00:45:12.080 --> 00:45:14.800
We just have to step out in that faith.

625
00:45:15.780 --> 00:45:19.520
We don't have to worry about carrying anything else.

626
00:45:19.520 --> 00:45:23.520
I think, who was it?

627
00:45:23.520 --> 00:45:27.680
Tempella, I don't know if she's on here or not.

628
00:45:27.680 --> 00:45:29.060
I don't see her.

629
00:45:29.060 --> 00:45:31.780
She, her assignment this week

630
00:45:31.780 --> 00:45:35.620
was just to continue to keep gathering information.

631
00:45:36.580 --> 00:45:39.220
That was really important for her.

632
00:45:39.220 --> 00:45:41.860
And y'all, she got so vulnerable this week.

633
00:45:41.860 --> 00:45:44.400
And I think she had a lot of things

634
00:45:44.400 --> 00:45:48.580
that God was really faithfully pressing her for.

635
00:45:48.580 --> 00:45:51.080
And I'm sure the things that she shared this week

636
00:45:51.080 --> 00:45:54.120
in community were probably not easy for her.

637
00:45:54.120 --> 00:45:56.740
But y'all, she is stretching herself.

638
00:45:57.740 --> 00:45:59.780
She is coming to this community.

639
00:45:59.780 --> 00:46:02.420
She is asking for the wisdom.

640
00:46:02.420 --> 00:46:05.220
She is sharing, you know, what she's experienced.

641
00:46:05.220 --> 00:46:06.860
You know, she, she's gone through some trauma

642
00:46:06.860 --> 00:46:08.100
just like we all have.

643
00:46:11.520 --> 00:46:15.460
And so her assignment was showing up,

644
00:46:16.500 --> 00:46:18.380
gathering information.

645
00:46:18.380 --> 00:46:22.980
What her job wasn't was determining

646
00:46:22.980 --> 00:46:25.100
what other people's motives were.

647
00:46:27.740 --> 00:46:31.740
Absolutely, Lauren, it was so good to see you.

648
00:46:31.740 --> 00:46:33.780
Catch the replay, okay?

649
00:46:33.780 --> 00:46:36.020
Make sure you catch the last 45 minutes.

650
00:46:36.900 --> 00:46:38.800
We've got other good things happening.

651
00:46:40.660 --> 00:46:45.660
So that got me thinking this week, ladies, about storms.

652
00:46:49.340 --> 00:46:51.460
Oh, Anne, it's you.

653
00:46:51.460 --> 00:46:53.220
Yeah, oh, hey girl.

654
00:46:54.060 --> 00:46:55.420
Your name is different on here.

655
00:46:55.420 --> 00:46:59.180
Girl, you touched my heart this week.

656
00:47:00.900 --> 00:47:03.420
Like, you are so brave.

657
00:47:03.420 --> 00:47:08.420
Like, y'all, she, that girl is growing

658
00:47:09.820 --> 00:47:12.300
and she is applying hard work.

659
00:47:12.300 --> 00:47:14.900
And I just see God moving in her life.

660
00:47:17.300 --> 00:47:20.260
And I'm sure, just like all of you ladies,

661
00:47:21.060 --> 00:47:24.860
this walk doesn't always look easy.

662
00:47:24.860 --> 00:47:26.580
There are gonna be those moments.

663
00:47:27.740 --> 00:47:28.940
Why do I know that?

664
00:47:30.780 --> 00:47:32.300
Because I was where you're at.

665
00:47:34.180 --> 00:47:37.020
And so it got me thinking about storms this week.

666
00:47:37.020 --> 00:47:41.300
And I wanna take you guys back to 2022.

667
00:47:41.300 --> 00:47:44.660
Now, I was living in Florida, living in Sarasota, okay?

668
00:47:44.660 --> 00:47:47.300
I'd been in this community now for two years.

669
00:47:47.540 --> 00:47:50.100
Things weren't moving, things weren't happening, okay?

670
00:47:50.100 --> 00:47:54.060
As far as the dating potential and the marriage thing.

671
00:47:54.060 --> 00:47:59.060
And, you know, had no prospects in October of 2022, none.

672
00:48:03.140 --> 00:48:07.020
The discouragement was hot, okay?

673
00:48:07.020 --> 00:48:08.260
Yeah, no worries, Peggy.

674
00:48:09.380 --> 00:48:13.020
So in October of 2022,

675
00:48:13.060 --> 00:48:15.060
Florida had this hurricane, Hurricane Ian,

676
00:48:15.060 --> 00:48:16.580
that was coming through.

677
00:48:18.100 --> 00:48:23.100
And, you know, I was like,

678
00:48:24.100 --> 00:48:25.260
if you've ever lived in Florida,

679
00:48:25.260 --> 00:48:26.700
if you ever, like, if you live somewhere

680
00:48:26.700 --> 00:48:28.060
where there's a lot of hurricanes,

681
00:48:28.060 --> 00:48:31.060
people will tell you, like, you know, we're just like,

682
00:48:31.060 --> 00:48:32.620
eh, it's not no big deal.

683
00:48:32.620 --> 00:48:34.260
It's like when they're like category four

684
00:48:34.260 --> 00:48:35.860
and category five, you're kind of like,

685
00:48:35.860 --> 00:48:38.740
uh, maybe I should, you know,

686
00:48:38.740 --> 00:48:40.660
I don't know, I don't know what to do.

687
00:48:40.700 --> 00:48:42.220
And honestly, I felt really safe.

688
00:48:42.220 --> 00:48:44.140
I felt at peace with it.

689
00:48:44.140 --> 00:48:49.140
God was really giving me a lot of peace about this storm.

690
00:48:49.140 --> 00:48:51.940
And he was really speaking to me about this.

691
00:48:51.940 --> 00:48:56.940
And so when I was going through that season

692
00:48:59.740 --> 00:49:02.020
and y'all, like, it came through

693
00:49:02.020 --> 00:49:03.820
and it actually turned out to be way bigger

694
00:49:03.820 --> 00:49:05.140
than I thought it was gonna be.

695
00:49:05.140 --> 00:49:08.100
And so I was like, okay, I'm not gonna worry about it.

696
00:49:08.100 --> 00:49:08.940
I'm not gonna worry about it.

697
00:49:08.940 --> 00:49:10.620
It actually turned out to be way bigger

698
00:49:10.620 --> 00:49:12.020
than what they anticipated.

699
00:49:13.020 --> 00:49:15.860
And I think some of you might remember this.

700
00:49:15.860 --> 00:49:17.220
Okay, this wasn't too long ago.

701
00:49:17.220 --> 00:49:19.620
So if you're in that area or you heard it on the news,

702
00:49:19.620 --> 00:49:20.580
if you heard it on the news,

703
00:49:20.580 --> 00:49:23.340
it definitely was probably amped up

704
00:49:23.340 --> 00:49:25.340
more than what it really was.

705
00:49:25.340 --> 00:49:30.340
But it definitely did some shaking.

706
00:49:31.180 --> 00:49:33.700
It did some clearing things out for sure.

707
00:49:33.700 --> 00:49:38.460
And so my son was, you know, in school

708
00:49:39.060 --> 00:49:40.900
and his school was shut down for three weeks.

709
00:49:40.900 --> 00:49:42.340
Y'all, I'm a single mom,

710
00:49:42.340 --> 00:49:44.100
a working single mom at this point.

711
00:49:45.820 --> 00:49:49.540
And I'm like, but God gave me so much peace.

712
00:49:49.540 --> 00:49:51.580
And was like, you know what, Carla, you've been faithful.

713
00:49:51.580 --> 00:49:52.860
You've been obedient.

714
00:49:52.860 --> 00:49:56.700
You are so anchored and grounded in me.

715
00:49:56.700 --> 00:49:59.860
This doesn't, it didn't faze me.

716
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:03.200
I remember praying through that storm and God spoke to me and said,

717
00:50:03.200 --> 00:50:04.040
Carla,

718
00:50:04.080 --> 00:50:09.080
I'm bringing this storm through because I need to get things to be cleared out.

719
00:50:09.320 --> 00:50:14.120
The things that do not belong here need to get cleared out.

720
00:50:16.200 --> 00:50:19.440
That was so important.

721
00:50:20.480 --> 00:50:24.440
And I'm like, that doesn't make sense. Like usually for me,

722
00:50:25.040 --> 00:50:28.920
y'all I'm like Enneagram six. I like worry about everything. Okay.

723
00:50:29.880 --> 00:50:31.320
I got to take charge.

724
00:50:32.200 --> 00:50:35.800
And so that like was weird for me,

725
00:50:37.160 --> 00:50:42.160
but God showed me storms have a way of revealing things to us that calm days

726
00:50:45.920 --> 00:50:47.040
sometimes can't.

727
00:50:51.000 --> 00:50:52.920
And it reminded me of Matthew seven,

728
00:50:53.920 --> 00:50:57.000
the wise and the foolish builder.

729
00:50:58.320 --> 00:50:59.720
And I was thinking about that.

730
00:51:01.800 --> 00:51:06.600
You see in life, we're going to get all these different storms,

731
00:51:07.040 --> 00:51:10.960
but it was never about the different storms in that story.

732
00:51:10.960 --> 00:51:12.440
It was never about a different storm.

733
00:51:13.080 --> 00:51:16.640
What it was was the different

734
00:51:17.880 --> 00:51:19.120
foundation.

735
00:51:20.120 --> 00:51:23.720
The houses were built on before the storms came.

736
00:51:26.080 --> 00:51:31.080
And so that's what I want you ladies to press into.

737
00:51:33.760 --> 00:51:38.760
Storms don't create the foundation that we're anchored to.

738
00:51:40.080 --> 00:51:41.400
It just reveals it.

739
00:51:44.040 --> 00:51:48.160
All right. And, and God doesn't do that to shame us.

740
00:51:48.600 --> 00:51:53.600
He's actually doing it lovingly to allow that shaking to take place because it

741
00:51:54.480 --> 00:51:58.880
invites us into something stronger. Okay.

742
00:51:59.040 --> 00:52:04.040
So I had a lot of peace in that season about where I was at in certain areas of

743
00:52:05.720 --> 00:52:06.920
my life. But you ladies,

744
00:52:06.920 --> 00:52:11.360
you want to know somewhere where I didn't have a lot of peace who can guess where

745
00:52:11.360 --> 00:52:12.320
I didn't have a lot of peace.

746
00:52:12.320 --> 00:52:14.520
What do you think? I didn't have peace belts.

747
00:52:19.200 --> 00:52:22.600
Ding, ding, ding. Yep. Who? Who? I'm you did.

748
00:52:23.920 --> 00:52:28.520
Yep. Ladies, you got it. Dating, relationships, marriage, y'all.

749
00:52:28.520 --> 00:52:30.880
Like I hit a wall.

750
00:52:33.440 --> 00:52:37.600
Like this was okay. Back in 2022, this, this community was much smaller. Okay.

751
00:52:37.720 --> 00:52:40.240
We had a lot more contact with Jackie. Jackie will tell you,

752
00:52:40.240 --> 00:52:44.080
like I had a come to Jesus moment with Jackie.

753
00:52:44.840 --> 00:52:48.440
Like she hunted me down. I had to have a phone call with her.

754
00:52:49.480 --> 00:52:54.480
Like she literally was like trying to get to me from every different angle that

755
00:52:54.480 --> 00:52:58.280
she could, because I was like a void. I was dodging her. Cause I knew, like,

756
00:52:58.280 --> 00:53:00.080
I'm like, I don't want to hear what I don't want.

757
00:53:00.080 --> 00:53:02.560
I know what I know what she's going to tell me and I don't want to hear it.

758
00:53:02.560 --> 00:53:04.400
I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear it.

759
00:53:04.400 --> 00:53:07.440
Kind of like, sometimes y'all don't want to hear what I have to tell you.

760
00:53:09.160 --> 00:53:10.800
I want, I'm going to tell you what you want to hear.

761
00:53:10.800 --> 00:53:13.000
Not always what you do or tell you what you need to hear.

762
00:53:13.000 --> 00:53:16.760
Not always what you want to hear. And so I had that moment.

763
00:53:16.760 --> 00:53:21.760
Like I was grounded in certain things and felt peace about some things,

764
00:53:21.760 --> 00:53:24.400
but not about dating and relationships. And y'all,

765
00:53:24.400 --> 00:53:29.400
I had to really recognize that I was not alone.

766
00:53:29.560 --> 00:53:34.560
I had to really recognize where I was carrying the things that God was meant to

767
00:53:41.600 --> 00:53:46.160
carry. The outcomes, the, what it needed to look like,

768
00:53:47.440 --> 00:53:50.560
the surrender part. Y'all, I didn't want to move.

769
00:53:52.440 --> 00:53:57.440
And Jackie for two years was like, Oh, you sure? You sure you don't want to move?

770
00:53:58.440 --> 00:54:02.240
I'm like, no, why would anybody want to move? Y'all?

771
00:54:02.240 --> 00:54:06.040
It was that hurricane that jump-started

772
00:54:08.240 --> 00:54:11.480
the doors being open for me to move.

773
00:54:13.920 --> 00:54:15.400
Because a week after that,

774
00:54:15.480 --> 00:54:20.480
that conversation with Jackie is when my husband dropped into my DMs and I

775
00:54:20.880 --> 00:54:25.880
thought he lived in Florida. Come to find out he lived in Texas.

776
00:54:25.880 --> 00:54:28.080
But after that conversation with Jackie, I'm like, you know what?

777
00:54:28.080 --> 00:54:30.480
God's just going to have to do something because I was like,

778
00:54:30.480 --> 00:54:33.880
I can't carry this anymore. I'm too exhausted.

779
00:54:34.880 --> 00:54:38.480
This is too heavy. I'm getting resentful. I'm getting discouraged.

780
00:54:38.480 --> 00:54:43.080
Like enough is enough. And I had to let it go.

781
00:54:43.480 --> 00:54:46.480
God finally had to be like, Carla, like, when are you going to move?

782
00:54:46.680 --> 00:54:49.800
To let it go. God finally had to be like, Carla,

783
00:54:49.800 --> 00:54:54.600
like when are you going to just like allow me to come in and clear out what

784
00:54:54.600 --> 00:54:55.880
needs to be cleared out?

785
00:54:57.280 --> 00:55:00.080
You're anchored here in all these other areas, but you're not anchored.

786
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:05.040
over here. You trust me in this, but you're not trusting me over here. What's the deal?"

787
00:55:06.320 --> 00:55:11.120
I was like, okay, fine. Well, you're just going to... And of course, I'm a stubborn daughter.

788
00:55:12.160 --> 00:55:18.000
I'm like, fine. Well, you're just going to have to put me wrong, okay?

789
00:55:19.680 --> 00:55:26.640
I know some of you all do the same thing with God. Tell me you don't. Tell me you don't, okay?

790
00:55:27.120 --> 00:55:35.600
But that's how I am, okay? So that happened. And like I said, a week later, I had been dropped in

791
00:55:35.600 --> 00:55:42.720
my DMs and things started moving. He lived in Texas. And then when we started getting to know

792
00:55:42.720 --> 00:55:48.640
each other and the conversation started, the exclusivity started to take place,

793
00:55:49.600 --> 00:55:58.800
the exclusivity started to take place. There was that one piece, my son got to know who this guy

794
00:55:58.800 --> 00:56:07.120
was. And I had told my son who this guy was. Then his dad, his biological dad called me out of the

795
00:56:07.120 --> 00:56:14.160
blue. I was like, hey, Carla, I got to talk to you about something. His other son's mom,

796
00:56:14.160 --> 00:56:20.000
who he wasn't with, her house got destroyed in the hurricane,

797
00:56:21.760 --> 00:56:27.440
which gave her the prompting to move out of the state of Florida.

798
00:56:28.800 --> 00:56:32.800
And once she decided to move out of the state of Florida, you want to know what my son's dad

799
00:56:32.800 --> 00:56:41.440
decided to do? Move out of the state of Florida. The one thing that kept me hesitant

800
00:56:42.400 --> 00:56:47.760
and locked into feeling like I had no choice but to live in Florida, not that I wanted to leave.

801
00:56:47.760 --> 00:56:55.760
I love Florida. But the one thing that I could use as an excuse that I could literally use to

802
00:56:55.760 --> 00:57:03.120
manipulate and get my way, because I didn't want God's outcome. I wanted my own. I wanted my own

803
00:57:04.080 --> 00:57:12.800
comfort. Well, God removed the one thing that I really could truly use and be justified in.

804
00:57:15.840 --> 00:57:21.520
He called me. I was like, I'm moving. And I'm like, well, I'm dating somebody and

805
00:57:22.960 --> 00:57:27.920
we're discussing marriage. And the conversation's been that if we get married,

806
00:57:28.800 --> 00:57:36.240
I'll move to Texas. And so it gave me the open door. I didn't have to control the outcome.

807
00:57:36.960 --> 00:57:43.760
I didn't have to do anything with the timing. It was that storm that I had to literally stay

808
00:57:43.760 --> 00:57:54.080
anchored in. That actually is what prompted me to surrender more and realize that I was holding

809
00:57:54.560 --> 00:58:01.600
on to things that weren't mine to carry. And so I want you ladies to sit with that because

810
00:58:03.040 --> 00:58:10.080
one thing with last year's single is that... See you later, Rhonda.

811
00:58:12.800 --> 00:58:18.000
One thing that last year's single, and we're all here. Y'all are here. I was here. Y'all are here

812
00:58:18.000 --> 00:58:24.320
because you want to be married. And so it's easy for us to think,

813
00:58:24.320 --> 00:58:28.880
okay, I'm going to be in this community and they're going to bring me into marriage.

814
00:58:30.640 --> 00:58:37.680
Right? It's really easy to think that. I was thinking about this today and I'm like,

815
00:58:38.480 --> 00:58:41.760
well, if that's what we're doing here in last year's single is to

816
00:58:42.640 --> 00:58:48.000
coach you towards marriage, that means marriage is the final destination.

817
00:58:49.920 --> 00:58:53.280
That's not what Jackie tells us, is it?

818
00:58:56.880 --> 00:59:02.480
Last year's single's here as a preparation for marriage.

819
00:59:05.200 --> 00:59:11.680
Preparation for the marriage that you're going to step into. We're here to coach you.

820
00:59:12.720 --> 00:59:24.000
We're here to coach and partner with you ladies, to work with God because he's going to equip you

821
00:59:24.560 --> 00:59:30.080
with the capacity that's needed for your marriage that he's promised you.

822
00:59:33.200 --> 00:59:38.480
And I can say that because I'm having to learn that in my own marriage.

823
00:59:39.440 --> 00:59:42.960
I've had to learn that there are some things that are mine to carry,

824
00:59:42.960 --> 00:59:48.560
some things that are Jeremy's to carry, and some things that are God's to carry.

825
00:59:49.520 --> 00:59:50.960
And y'all, that hasn't been easy.

826
00:59:54.480 --> 00:59:58.400
Because whenever I start confusing responsibilities,

827
01:00:00.960 --> 01:00:07.840
I don't have peace and chaos really really blows up.

828
01:00:09.600 --> 01:00:15.040
Y'all you'll hear Jackie say this a lot marriage is God's maturity plan for mankind.

829
01:00:17.440 --> 01:00:26.960
So this process now that y'all are in of dating and needing to release certain things like what

830
01:00:26.960 --> 01:00:32.080
am I to carry what am I not the heartwork pieces that we're going through the things that we're

831
01:00:32.080 --> 01:00:40.320
coaching you here we're stretching you into ladies it's all for preparation it's all just growing

832
01:00:40.320 --> 01:00:47.440
your your capacity for what God's going to walk you into and you're going to be so thankful so

833
01:00:47.440 --> 01:00:58.160
thankful for that and so I want you ladies just to kind of sit with some scriptures okay I want

834
01:00:58.160 --> 01:01:05.360
you to think back to exodus 14 okay go back and read it if you need to one thing that stuck out

835
01:01:05.360 --> 01:01:11.280
to me was that you know when they they show up and they're like well what do we do like

836
01:01:12.000 --> 01:01:19.200
we got this we can't cross right you want it God was saying hey

837
01:01:22.000 --> 01:01:25.200
you worry about you worry about what's mine

838
01:01:25.760 --> 01:01:29.840
and you know or you worry about you I'll take over what's mine right

839
01:01:31.840 --> 01:01:35.200
know your assignment I got mine trust me with my assignment

840
01:01:36.160 --> 01:01:43.840
he was telling them look be still you don't have to do anything you just have to partner with me

841
01:01:43.840 --> 01:01:49.760
and there's participation sometimes partnership and participation will be you sitting still and

842
01:01:49.760 --> 01:01:56.160
just taking the next faithful step sometimes that faithful step is releasing control releasing and

843
01:01:56.160 --> 01:02:01.120
surrendering the things that you're carrying that are actually his

844
01:02:01.520 --> 01:02:06.400
and so when you do that then he can go do whatever it is that he needs to go do

845
01:02:08.160 --> 01:02:12.240
we get out we can get out of our own way and so I want you to sit with that

846
01:02:13.680 --> 01:02:20.800
what is it that maybe God is letting you know gently okay

847
01:02:21.120 --> 01:02:28.720
but he's like hey I got this for you let me do this you work on this I've got this

848
01:02:29.760 --> 01:02:38.400
all right because ladies in Psalm 46 we're reminded that mountains are going to fall

849
01:02:39.600 --> 01:02:45.120
the waves are going to come crashing but God is going to remain

850
01:02:45.920 --> 01:02:48.240
sit in that rest in that ladies

851
01:02:51.040 --> 01:03:00.160
so this week I want you ladies asking yourself Lord what have you asked me to faithfully carry

852
01:03:01.040 --> 01:03:06.880
and what have I been carrying that actually belongs to you so with that we're going to do

853
01:03:06.880 --> 01:03:13.840
our activation and then we're going to do our activation and then we're going to do our

854
01:03:14.000 --> 01:03:22.880
activation and it's going to require some participation so if you have paper go ahead and

855
01:03:22.880 --> 01:03:30.480
get that you're going to draw a line down the middle on the left side you're going to write

856
01:03:30.480 --> 01:03:38.080
mine to carry on the right side yeah left side mine to carry on the right side God's to carry

857
01:03:38.560 --> 01:03:43.440
and I'll post this in the app too so if you don't have paper don't worry and you can always watch

858
01:03:43.440 --> 01:03:52.640
the replay as well um so we're going to go under mine to carry what is yours to carry and I want

859
01:03:52.640 --> 01:03:59.120
you ladies to sit with that for the next day or two okay spend time with the Lord get in his word

860
01:03:59.680 --> 01:04:10.240
his word what does he want you to carry get specific okay I'm going to share some things

861
01:04:10.240 --> 01:04:13.520
but I want you to take those some things and I want you to go deeper

862
01:04:14.320 --> 01:04:17.360
all right so some of the things that are ours to carry is obedience

863
01:04:17.360 --> 01:04:29.120
truth curiosity boundaries and faithfulness

864
01:04:32.240 --> 01:04:36.640
okay what does obedience look like what does this word say

865
01:04:37.600 --> 01:04:44.400
and are we walking that out not perfectly none of us are perfect

866
01:04:47.840 --> 01:04:56.400
but what specifically is mine to carry Lord how do you want me to walk in obedience

867
01:04:56.400 --> 01:05:00.160
Lord how do you want me to walk in obedience

868
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:04.000
What's mine?

869
01:05:04.000 --> 01:05:08.000
Truth. And ladies, I'm not just talking about

870
01:05:08.000 --> 01:05:12.000
our truth. I'm talking about his truth.

871
01:05:12.000 --> 01:05:16.000
I was telling the ladies on this afternoon call, I said,

872
01:05:16.000 --> 01:05:20.000
I do not like that phrase

873
01:05:20.000 --> 01:05:24.000
like, you know, live your truth or

874
01:05:24.000 --> 01:05:28.000
go, you know, I don't know exactly what

875
01:05:28.000 --> 01:05:32.000
it is, but it's something along those lines, like live your truth or go

876
01:05:32.000 --> 01:05:36.000
be, like something like you do you or something. I think that's what it is. Like you do you

877
01:05:36.000 --> 01:05:40.000
and, you know, live your truth. And I'm like, well, that's great

878
01:05:40.000 --> 01:05:44.000
if your truth is God's truth, but what

879
01:05:44.000 --> 01:05:48.000
if your truth is actually not truth?

880
01:05:48.000 --> 01:05:52.000
Yes, that's the worst statement, right? I was

881
01:05:52.000 --> 01:05:56.000
telling the ladies, I'm like, what if your truth and you truly believe

882
01:05:56.000 --> 01:06:00.000
that there's no gravity? You can go live your truth. There's no gravity.

883
01:06:00.000 --> 01:06:04.000
So you can go jump off a building because there's no gravity. So you can go live your truth.

884
01:06:04.000 --> 01:06:08.000
You ain't living very long

885
01:06:08.000 --> 01:06:12.000
because your truth of no gravity, not really true.

886
01:06:12.000 --> 01:06:16.000
You ain't living much longer, right?

887
01:06:16.000 --> 01:06:20.000
I know that sounds like, you know, like, okay, come on, Carly. No, but

888
01:06:20.000 --> 01:06:24.000
seriously, like we're not looking for our truth and what feels

889
01:06:24.000 --> 01:06:28.000
comfortable for us because we

890
01:06:28.000 --> 01:06:32.000
just refuse to look at something. We're actually like, God, what

891
01:06:32.000 --> 01:06:36.000
do you say is true? What's going to stretch me?

892
01:06:36.000 --> 01:06:40.000
What's your truth? What are you calling

893
01:06:40.000 --> 01:06:44.000
from me? How can I show up in that? How can I

894
01:06:44.000 --> 01:06:48.000
be obedient to your word? That's

895
01:06:48.000 --> 01:06:52.000
important. How can I remain faithful? How can I take those

896
01:06:52.000 --> 01:06:56.000
faithful steps? What does that look like, God, in every situation?

897
01:06:56.000 --> 01:07:00.000
Ladies, and I'm not just talking about dating situations. I'm talking about work situations.

898
01:07:00.000 --> 01:07:04.000
I'm talking about family situations, friendships, all sorts of stuff.

899
01:07:04.000 --> 01:07:08.000
Whatever it is that you're dealing with.

900
01:07:08.000 --> 01:07:12.000
Ask yourself, is this mine to carry

901
01:07:12.000 --> 01:07:16.000
or is this God's? So I want

902
01:07:16.000 --> 01:07:20.000
you to look at that list of what's yours to carry and let's get specific

903
01:07:20.000 --> 01:07:24.000
and I want you ladies to share that. Now, God's to carry.

904
01:07:24.000 --> 01:07:28.000
Outcomes, timing,

905
01:07:28.000 --> 01:07:32.000
changing people.

906
01:07:32.000 --> 01:07:36.000
Y'all, you can't change

907
01:07:36.000 --> 01:07:40.000
people. And I know that's

908
01:07:40.000 --> 01:07:44.000
one that's like, if I do this, maybe they're going to respond this way.

909
01:07:44.000 --> 01:07:48.000
Y'all, I spent a lot of my years doing that.

910
01:07:48.000 --> 01:07:52.000
I was in so many not so great relationships.

911
01:07:52.000 --> 01:07:56.000
I thought, if I just show up this way and if I

912
01:07:56.000 --> 01:08:00.000
do this, then their response is going to be this.

913
01:08:00.000 --> 01:08:04.000
Y'all, it never worked out.

914
01:08:04.000 --> 01:08:08.000
I couldn't change them, even though I wanted to see, oh, but they're just such a great

915
01:08:08.000 --> 01:08:12.000
like, I just see so many good qualities in them.

916
01:08:12.000 --> 01:08:16.000
Well, they say they have good qualities, but they're not showing the good

917
01:08:16.000 --> 01:08:20.000
qualities. The information that I'm getting, like God is

918
01:08:20.000 --> 01:08:24.000
showing me information and I'm just refusing to see it. God's saying, hey Carla,

919
01:08:24.000 --> 01:08:28.000
I've asked you to look at this,

920
01:08:28.000 --> 01:08:32.000
but you're not being obedient to me. You're sitting here

921
01:08:32.000 --> 01:08:36.000
trying to change this person's behavior so that you feel comfortable

922
01:08:36.000 --> 01:08:40.000
and you're avoiding what

923
01:08:40.000 --> 01:08:44.000
I'm showing you. And y'all, I found myself in some really not

924
01:08:44.000 --> 01:08:48.000
so good relationships, let me tell you.

925
01:08:48.000 --> 01:08:52.000
And so that's something that I had to learn, and it wasn't easy.

926
01:08:52.000 --> 01:08:56.000
But ladies, I will tell you, the freedom that comes when you

927
01:08:56.000 --> 01:09:00.000
release and surrender that, doesn't mean that there's not

928
01:09:00.000 --> 01:09:04.000
pain that comes with it.

929
01:09:04.000 --> 01:09:08.000
But you have community here that supports you.

930
01:09:08.000 --> 01:09:12.000
And once you start living through that and you start seeing the fruit

931
01:09:12.000 --> 01:09:16.000
that comes from that, y'all are going to be in a role.

932
01:09:16.000 --> 01:09:20.000
The future is something that's God's to carry.

933
01:09:20.000 --> 01:09:24.000
And this is the one that I like the most, is

934
01:09:24.000 --> 01:09:28.000
transformation. Transformation is God's.

935
01:09:28.000 --> 01:09:32.000
Even your transformation is God's responsibility.

936
01:09:32.000 --> 01:09:36.000
You just are partnering

937
01:09:36.000 --> 01:09:40.000
with Him. You're participating,

938
01:09:40.000 --> 01:09:44.000
but you don't get to decide what He's going to stretch you in.

939
01:09:44.000 --> 01:09:48.000
He's going to shift your heart. He knows what needs to transform in your heart.

940
01:09:48.000 --> 01:09:52.000
So there are going to be some pushes.

941
01:09:52.000 --> 01:09:56.000
So this week,

942
01:09:56.000 --> 01:10:00.000
there are going to be

943
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:05.700
some anxiousness that comes up. There's gonna be discouragement that will

944
01:10:05.700 --> 01:10:11.440
probably come up. There's gonna be some frustration and some anger. There's gonna

945
01:10:11.440 --> 01:10:21.560
be some hopelessness that's gonna surface. How do I know? Because I lived it.

946
01:10:21.560 --> 01:10:32.000
When that comes up, ladies, I'm giving you a tool to not have to sit in it for so

947
01:10:32.000 --> 01:10:38.800
long. When that surfaces and you recognize, oh, I'm feeling really anxious.

948
01:10:38.800 --> 01:10:44.800
I'm getting really upset. I'm getting really, you know, annoyed. I'm getting

949
01:10:44.800 --> 01:10:51.480
angry. I'm getting frustrated. I'm getting sad. I'm getting lonely. I'm getting

950
01:10:51.480 --> 01:10:57.240
when you're getting all those uncomfortable feelings, you're gonna stop

951
01:10:57.240 --> 01:11:03.560
and you're gonna ask yourself, what side of the paper am I holding?

952
01:11:04.280 --> 01:11:11.320
Am I holding something that is God's responsibility or am I carrying

953
01:11:11.320 --> 01:11:22.840
something that's mine? Sit with Him. Okay? And I want you to come in this week.

954
01:11:22.840 --> 01:11:27.760
Okay? Some of you, it might take a week for God to kind of work some things out.

955
01:11:27.760 --> 01:11:31.360
Okay? Some of you might, He might reveal something to you very quickly. Maybe

956
01:11:31.360 --> 01:11:36.680
He's already been working on you with something. Okay? This isn't a race. And

957
01:11:37.400 --> 01:11:43.640
then I want you to share in the app this week and what God invited you to place

958
01:11:43.640 --> 01:11:53.280
back into His hands. Okay? Is that something we all think we can do? Possibly?

959
01:11:53.280 --> 01:11:56.280
Maybe?

960
01:11:56.280 --> 01:12:16.280
Okay. I got one yes. Woohoo! Yes. Thank you, Shelley. I heard your yes. Thank you, Amanda.

961
01:12:16.280 --> 01:12:24.640
I'm walking through the parking lot. No worries, girl. No worries. And then I will post those

962
01:12:24.640 --> 01:12:31.640
coaching notes. I don't know. I think last week when I posted, I think a lot of

963
01:12:31.640 --> 01:12:35.880
you ladies liked that. So I will do my best to get those posted tomorrow or

964
01:12:35.880 --> 01:12:44.480
Thursday. And then, good, Lisa, you appreciate those. Okay, good. I do too.

965
01:12:44.480 --> 01:12:51.160
And like I said, we had some, and again, you're on this call now. You can always

966
01:12:51.320 --> 01:12:56.280
watch the replay for the first one, for the one o'clock one, because you'll hear

967
01:12:56.280 --> 01:13:03.360
questions that will be different from ladies' questions tonight too. And y'all,

968
01:13:03.360 --> 01:13:07.000
I'm telling you, you get towards the end now. I extended it long. I'm probably

969
01:13:07.000 --> 01:13:10.320
gonna extend this one a little bit longer because I still took more time

970
01:13:10.320 --> 01:13:19.200
than I anticipated. But those questions that were asked on the afternoon call,

971
01:13:19.200 --> 01:13:26.320
y'all, those were fire. Like, Holy Spirit was on those. I don't know. Was anybody on

972
01:13:26.320 --> 01:13:30.400
the one o'clock? And I think, Peggy, you were, but I think you might have had to

973
01:13:30.400 --> 01:13:36.560
jump off. I don't know. Were you there towards the end? You weren't on

974
01:13:36.560 --> 01:13:41.760
at the end. I don't know if anybody else was on. There was a few that might have

975
01:13:41.760 --> 01:13:52.320
been, but yeah. Yeah. So, yes. Anne was on there. Okay. One was very, very relevant.

976
01:13:52.320 --> 01:13:57.120
It was really, really helpful. So, I mean, you can, even if you need to fast-forward

977
01:13:57.120 --> 01:13:59.840
through some of that stuff too, especially all that housekeeping stuff,

978
01:13:59.840 --> 01:14:04.960
I've got to find a way to kind of move through that quickly. That's gonna be my

979
01:14:04.960 --> 01:14:09.280
goal. I'm gonna tap in with Ebony and see what she does to get through

980
01:14:09.280 --> 01:14:15.760
things a little quicker on that. So, okay, ladies, give me your questions. Raise your

981
01:14:15.760 --> 01:14:21.280
hands. What's we got? What are we struggling with? What's tension? What are

982
01:14:21.280 --> 01:14:26.280
we celebrating? I don't want this just to be like, I'm struggling. But if you're

983
01:14:26.280 --> 01:14:29.920
celebrating something or if God's revealing something to you, I want

984
01:14:29.920 --> 01:14:35.040
this to be that time to open up. Like, what's happening?

985
01:14:35.280 --> 01:14:44.720
What do you ladies have? I got Peggy's. Peggy's got a hand.

986
01:14:46.080 --> 01:14:49.960
All right, Peggy, I'm gonna let you go and then hopefully that will give some

987
01:14:49.960 --> 01:14:53.480
encouragement to some of the other ladies to start throwing their hands up.

988
01:14:53.480 --> 01:15:02.000
Okay. So, Peggy, what's your question? Oh, make sure you unmute.

989
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:06.440
Okay, that's good to know that she doesn't get them through quicker.

990
01:15:06.440 --> 01:15:10.360
I think for me, I just take a really long time maybe getting through content.

991
01:15:10.360 --> 01:15:11.760
No, that's all right.

992
01:15:11.760 --> 01:15:13.560
I just, I have trouble.

993
01:15:13.560 --> 01:15:17.120
There's something at the bottom of my screen that keeps me from getting the stuff to come

994
01:15:17.120 --> 01:15:18.740
up so I can click on it.

995
01:15:18.740 --> 01:15:21.320
So I apologize for taking so long.

996
01:15:21.320 --> 01:15:22.320
Okay.

997
01:15:22.320 --> 01:15:27.080
I had something really unexpected happen to me today.

998
01:15:27.080 --> 01:15:29.280
Okay.

999
01:15:29.280 --> 01:15:36.280
I went to my hair salon and my hair lady, who the last time I saw her just a couple

1000
01:15:36.280 --> 01:15:45.480
weeks ago, she had mentioned to me a widower that she knew and cared about and wondering

1001
01:15:45.480 --> 01:15:55.280
if, and I had thrown out my, you know, dutifully thrown out my fishing line, you know, and

1002
01:15:55.280 --> 01:15:56.680
she picked up on that.

1003
01:15:56.680 --> 01:16:02.560
And today she said, I want to show you this man because she, she obviously talked to him.

1004
01:16:02.560 --> 01:16:06.840
And so she was showing me a bunch of pictures of him explained.

1005
01:16:06.840 --> 01:16:08.760
She had explained his background.

1006
01:16:08.760 --> 01:16:14.760
He's a business owner, former business owner, very well established in his field and he

1007
01:16:14.760 --> 01:16:18.280
sold it off a few years ago.

1008
01:16:18.280 --> 01:16:20.300
Close to my age is two years older.

1009
01:16:20.300 --> 01:16:23.200
My husband was just two years older than me too.

1010
01:16:23.200 --> 01:16:25.720
And I don't have that as a non negotiable.

1011
01:16:25.760 --> 01:16:27.240
He doesn't have to be the same age.

1012
01:16:27.240 --> 01:16:30.600
My husband was, but he happens to be.

1013
01:16:30.600 --> 01:16:35.560
So anyway, I don't know what question I'm leading up to here.

1014
01:16:35.560 --> 01:16:39.520
One of them I do know.

1015
01:16:39.520 --> 01:16:53.080
So when I got home, he texted me, like, ladies, I'm, I'm Carla jr right here.

1016
01:16:53.080 --> 01:16:56.840
I had no plans of going on the apps.

1017
01:16:56.840 --> 01:17:02.760
I went on the apps for like one month back in 2024, a little bitty Christian app.

1018
01:17:02.760 --> 01:17:05.800
And I got a half a dozen matches and nobody reached out.

1019
01:17:05.800 --> 01:17:08.160
I just, I was so discouraged.

1020
01:17:08.160 --> 01:17:14.080
I just folded up my tent and went away.

1021
01:17:14.080 --> 01:17:19.000
And so I, this, this really has kind of come out of the blue.

1022
01:17:19.000 --> 01:17:28.720
So I, I'm really gonna need to give God my, his trust, his timing, you know, now my salon

1023
01:17:28.720 --> 01:17:30.640
lady is not a Christian.

1024
01:17:30.640 --> 01:17:39.040
She swears, you know, up a storm, but at the same time, she's got a heart.

1025
01:17:39.040 --> 01:17:40.040
You know what I mean?

1026
01:17:40.040 --> 01:17:45.280
I met her right after my husband died and I think I'm the stray puppy.

1027
01:17:45.280 --> 01:17:46.280
You know what I mean?

1028
01:17:46.440 --> 01:17:55.000
And I went back to my old salon lady right after I saw her a couple of times.

1029
01:17:55.000 --> 01:17:59.000
I just said to her, I, I just got to go back to my old salon lady.

1030
01:17:59.000 --> 01:18:00.960
I, she was 70 miles away.

1031
01:18:00.960 --> 01:18:04.480
I still drove the, cause I had history with her.

1032
01:18:04.480 --> 01:18:06.320
She was a Christian.

1033
01:18:06.320 --> 01:18:08.080
I just felt safe with her.

1034
01:18:08.080 --> 01:18:13.160
I had to have a safe place to be after my husband died.

1035
01:18:13.160 --> 01:18:15.040
You know what I mean?

1036
01:18:15.120 --> 01:18:21.240
Because after you get widowed, it just seems like all hell breaks loose and it, it just

1037
01:18:21.240 --> 01:18:23.760
was a storm.

1038
01:18:23.760 --> 01:18:29.880
And so anyway, he, he texts me, it sounded, he sounds masculine.

1039
01:18:29.880 --> 01:18:33.760
He sounds mature.

1040
01:18:33.760 --> 01:18:36.520
I do not know if he's a Christian.

1041
01:18:36.520 --> 01:18:37.600
Okay.

1042
01:18:37.600 --> 01:18:43.360
She really talked up how he was a, but he just, I could read you his post.

1043
01:18:43.360 --> 01:18:45.320
My name is Pat Moody.

1044
01:18:45.320 --> 01:18:46.960
Jenna gave me her picture and phone number.

1045
01:18:46.960 --> 01:18:49.520
She says, you and I may have similar interests.

1046
01:18:49.520 --> 01:18:53.640
I would like to talk or meet for coffee or dinner and see how things go.

1047
01:18:53.640 --> 01:18:57.160
And I'll, he said, are you in the city where I live?

1048
01:18:57.160 --> 01:18:59.480
You know, he named our city.

1049
01:18:59.480 --> 01:19:02.120
I'm going to San Antonio for about 16 days.

1050
01:19:02.120 --> 01:19:03.960
Can I get in touch with you when I get back?

1051
01:19:03.960 --> 01:19:06.240
Have a blessed day.

1052
01:19:06.240 --> 01:19:13.480
So I replied and, you know, told him a little, told him where I lived in our city and not

1053
01:19:13.480 --> 01:19:16.400
my address or anything, but yeah, good, good.

1054
01:19:16.400 --> 01:19:17.400
Very good.

1055
01:19:17.400 --> 01:19:18.400
Yep.

1056
01:19:18.400 --> 01:19:23.240
I said, Jenna gave me your picture and name and described her relationship with you and

1057
01:19:23.240 --> 01:19:24.720
your wife.

1058
01:19:24.720 --> 01:19:30.320
I have not been going to see Jenna very long, but there is a unique, a unique history we

1059
01:19:30.320 --> 01:19:31.320
have.

1060
01:19:31.320 --> 01:19:32.320
Sure.

1061
01:19:32.320 --> 01:19:34.920
We could get together after you come back from your trip.

1062
01:19:34.920 --> 01:19:39.200
I hope you have a nice time and safe travels, Peggy.

1063
01:19:39.200 --> 01:19:41.240
And then he thanked me.

1064
01:19:41.240 --> 01:19:42.440
He said, thank you.

1065
01:19:42.440 --> 01:19:47.240
Looking forward to seeing you soon, which I thought was, I love it.

1066
01:19:47.240 --> 01:19:49.080
And then I said, you're welcome.

1067
01:19:49.080 --> 01:19:50.660
Same here.

1068
01:19:50.660 --> 01:19:55.640
And then I kind of worried afterward that I was maybe too abrupt or something, but he

1069
01:19:55.640 --> 01:19:58.940
put a little thumbs up on my bubble.

1070
01:19:58.940 --> 01:19:59.540
So.

1071
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:02.880
Woo-hoo girl, look at you

1072
01:20:03.840 --> 01:20:09.400
Okay, so as you were as you were sharing, um, I was writing some things down

1073
01:20:11.040 --> 01:20:12.800
So

1074
01:20:12.800 --> 01:20:18.240
Do you have like a specific question or you were just like you're celebrating and is it you're just like

1075
01:20:18.920 --> 01:20:21.800
I'm kind of celebrating but at the same time I

1076
01:20:23.840 --> 01:20:29.000
Feel like this very issue you're talking about is bubbling up in me. I feel like

1077
01:20:29.600 --> 01:20:31.600
There is this

1078
01:20:32.720 --> 01:20:36.560
Like little frozen deer in the headlights thing going on with me

1079
01:20:37.320 --> 01:20:41.840
Like cuz it's caught. It's caught you off guard. This is this is real time

1080
01:20:42.160 --> 01:20:46.200
Yeah, real person in real real time. Yeah

1081
01:20:47.680 --> 01:20:54.720
Relate put in the chat. I know you can relate. Yeah, she's not alone. Is she? Yeah. Yeah, and I'm like

1082
01:20:55.560 --> 01:20:57.200
All of us

1083
01:20:57.200 --> 01:21:00.600
Well, that's so good to know. Yeah, I'm a little

1084
01:21:01.240 --> 01:21:04.480
Little anxious. I wonder do I tell my son?

1085
01:21:05.000 --> 01:21:10.800
There's one of my questions. Okay, I want to tell my son but at the same time my young my daughter

1086
01:21:11.640 --> 01:21:19.400
She didn't tell him my husband and I that she'd been dating her future husband like for six or seven months

1087
01:21:19.480 --> 01:21:24.960
She was completely mom and I feel like a real blabbermouth, you know what I mean?

1088
01:21:24.960 --> 01:21:31.640
So I feel like I should just keep it to myself. Okay? Yeah, this is this is like

1089
01:21:32.440 --> 01:21:34.440
Peggy this is where

1090
01:21:34.640 --> 01:21:36.520
God is

1091
01:21:36.520 --> 01:21:39.200
Showing up for you. There are so many things here

1092
01:21:40.240 --> 01:21:41.960
first

1093
01:21:41.960 --> 01:21:43.960
one thing that I'm noticing is

1094
01:21:45.280 --> 01:21:47.280
You've really been doing the heart work

1095
01:21:48.040 --> 01:21:53.960
Ladies if you've seen anything that she's posted anything like that and I know, you know, Peggy she's had some one-on-ones

1096
01:21:53.960 --> 01:21:58.200
Okay, so she so I know a little bit more. Okay, but um

1097
01:21:59.440 --> 01:22:01.440
She's really been working the heart work

1098
01:22:02.400 --> 01:22:04.400
all right, so and

1099
01:22:04.720 --> 01:22:06.720
and

1100
01:22:06.920 --> 01:22:12.640
Ladies when you will see that on others and you see the engagement and you see, you know

1101
01:22:12.640 --> 01:22:14.960
How ladies are showing up and doing that?

1102
01:22:15.840 --> 01:22:20.040
It's gonna be hard not to notice what God's doing in their life and

1103
01:22:20.760 --> 01:22:27.880
So I think you've already been walking in this surrendered heart and you've been healing

1104
01:22:27.880 --> 01:22:29.880
now are there moments of

1105
01:22:30.600 --> 01:22:32.400
That it's all gone

1106
01:22:32.400 --> 01:22:39.840
Well, no, we always are gonna have areas that you know need growth and things like that. Okay, but

1107
01:22:40.960 --> 01:22:44.080
God is starting just to to stretch you some

1108
01:22:45.240 --> 01:22:51.240
He's really showing up because you've released a lot of those outcomes and let him

1109
01:22:51.800 --> 01:22:53.280
carry what

1110
01:22:53.280 --> 01:22:55.080
he's

1111
01:22:55.080 --> 01:22:57.080
in control of and

1112
01:22:57.400 --> 01:22:59.400
So when that happens

1113
01:23:00.040 --> 01:23:02.480
We get out of his way and we get out of our way

1114
01:23:03.080 --> 01:23:08.360
Yeah, and we start seeing things unfold and so that's what I'm recognizing

1115
01:23:08.360 --> 01:23:12.440
And so there's a couple things that you were sharing that again. We're gonna just apply

1116
01:23:13.200 --> 01:23:19.840
Our phase two like little little principles here, but we coach you ladies through dating, okay

1117
01:23:21.840 --> 01:23:24.040
You're not sure if he's a Christian ladies

1118
01:23:25.120 --> 01:23:27.120
That is not uncommon

1119
01:23:27.760 --> 01:23:30.240
Right, and I don't want you to stress about

1120
01:23:31.240 --> 01:23:35.960
Finding out if he's a Christian right away, and I know some of you ladies freak out about that

1121
01:23:36.640 --> 01:23:42.280
All right, I know it all right and I know I get pushed back I know Jackie gets pushed back. All right

1122
01:23:44.000 --> 01:23:50.320
It is not yours to carry to interrogate or

1123
01:23:51.720 --> 01:23:54.400
Determine if someone's a Christian right away

1124
01:23:56.440 --> 01:24:01.240
Is it important that they are in alignment with your beliefs absolutely

1125
01:24:01.240 --> 01:24:04.200
I'm not telling you not to go date someone that is not a Christian

1126
01:24:04.200 --> 01:24:10.520
I'm not telling you not to go date someone that is not aligned with your faith and your beliefs. That is not what I'm saying

1127
01:24:11.560 --> 01:24:16.920
Okay, God wants you aligned with someone that he's got walking

1128
01:24:17.480 --> 01:24:21.880
With you in your your purpose and what he's called you for

1129
01:24:22.440 --> 01:24:26.600
Okay, so that is 100% important. All right

1130
01:24:27.720 --> 01:24:33.320
But we've got to trust God in the timing that that gets revealed

1131
01:24:33.320 --> 01:24:35.320
When God wants to reveal it to you

1132
01:24:36.760 --> 01:24:38.600
All right

1133
01:24:38.600 --> 01:24:44.440
Right now you're in that process lady. You've heard me say this for weeks is you're gathering information in this stage

1134
01:24:45.640 --> 01:24:48.520
You're learning you're discovery dating

1135
01:24:50.360 --> 01:24:52.360
What do you like what do you not like

1136
01:24:53.080 --> 01:24:59.900
What information are you learning about them? How are they showing up? You said right now you see him being masculine

1137
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:05.440
mature. Great. We want to see a consistent pattern of that masculinity and that maturity.

1138
01:25:06.480 --> 01:25:12.320
Okay. If you start seeing some things come up, we're going to just take note of those things

1139
01:25:14.240 --> 01:25:20.800
and then see, is there a pattern there? Okay. If things start showing up as a pattern

1140
01:25:21.440 --> 01:25:27.680
and we now are maybe being asked to, you know, God is stretching us to put up a boundary,

1141
01:25:27.680 --> 01:25:33.520
or maybe he's stretching us to have some more honest, open communication.

1142
01:25:34.560 --> 01:25:39.920
That might feel scary, which you've had some courage this week. All right. Communication

1143
01:25:39.920 --> 01:25:43.680
might be something he might want to stretch you on. So you might have to, you know, stretch your

1144
01:25:43.680 --> 01:25:49.760
communication with this, with this, uh, Pat gentleman. Okay. Yes. And so you're going to

1145
01:25:49.760 --> 01:25:56.000
just, again, you're walking along with God and asking him, what are you stretching me in? What

1146
01:25:56.000 --> 01:26:01.040
is it that you are asking me to step in faithfully? What do you want me to faithfully

1147
01:26:01.040 --> 01:26:10.640
walk into next? He's not going to show you the whole journey, just the next step. Okay. So that's,

1148
01:26:10.640 --> 01:26:16.080
that's that discovery dating piece. Okay. When you start finding yourself getting anxious,

1149
01:26:16.640 --> 01:26:22.960
ask yourself, am I trying to carry an outcome? Am I trying to carry the future? Am I trying to

1150
01:26:22.960 --> 01:26:29.520
carry wanting certainty, which I know all those things are gods, right? Yeah. Or am I

1151
01:26:29.520 --> 01:26:38.000
carrying what's mine? And that's, you know what I'm in a community that God has used as a resource

1152
01:26:38.000 --> 01:26:45.040
to walk me through this stage of life. He's showing up. He's teaching me things. He's giving

1153
01:26:45.200 --> 01:26:52.960
confirmation through that. Yes. And he's, he's shown up and I have, you could write down lots

1154
01:26:52.960 --> 01:26:58.400
of things that he's already done for you ladies. I'm sure you all can find something. And if you

1155
01:26:58.400 --> 01:27:04.960
can't ladies come on that, come on the app and say, Carla, I'm struggling. Ladies. We want

1156
01:27:04.960 --> 01:27:11.520
to work with you. We don't want you to stay silent. We're here to help you. And if you're

1157
01:27:11.520 --> 01:27:19.360
discouraged or you're struggling, don't let that disqualify you. Don't let don't sit in isolation

1158
01:27:19.360 --> 01:27:24.160
thinking you're the only one. I guarantee you there are others that are right there with you,

1159
01:27:24.880 --> 01:27:28.400
but we want to pull those things out. One of the girls on the call this afternoon,

1160
01:27:30.080 --> 01:27:34.000
you know, she was like, I don't get this. I'm not. And she hadn't been coming for a while. And I was

1161
01:27:34.000 --> 01:27:43.680
so happy to see her and y'all Holy spirit showed up. It really did. And so I want you to sit in

1162
01:27:43.680 --> 01:27:50.480
that discovery dating phase. And so I felt prompted to share this as well. Cause I think this is going

1163
01:27:50.480 --> 01:27:56.400
to be really, really key for a lot of you ladies in this discovery dating phase. All right. Especially

1164
01:27:56.400 --> 01:28:01.840
with those of you that really just want to know if he's a Christian or not. Okay.

1165
01:28:04.320 --> 01:28:11.760
Jackie tells us, okay. To be a fruit inspector, not a gift inspector.

1166
01:28:14.400 --> 01:28:20.080
We're looking for fruit of the spirit.

1167
01:28:23.280 --> 01:28:33.520
That tells me they have Holy spirit in their heart. It shows up. Is there peace?

1168
01:28:33.520 --> 01:28:37.520
Is there patience? Is there kindness? Is there goodness? Is there faithfulness? Is there

1169
01:28:37.520 --> 01:28:46.400
gentleness? Is there self-control? Is that showing up? What I tend to see in our community

1170
01:28:47.680 --> 01:28:52.160
for those of us that are really hardwire, like I got to know if he's a Christian,

1171
01:28:52.160 --> 01:28:55.280
I don't want to waste my time. Like he's got to, you know, he's got to operate in this, this,

1172
01:28:55.280 --> 01:29:00.720
and that we're looking for their gifts, but ladies,

1173
01:29:03.520 --> 01:29:08.160
people can have gifts and they could not be using them properly.

1174
01:29:11.440 --> 01:29:18.800
They can sit there and have, you know, they could be great ministers, great teachers,

1175
01:29:19.680 --> 01:29:26.880
know the word really minister to people, but y'all are gifts that God blesses us with.

1176
01:29:27.840 --> 01:29:35.680
We have to remember those gifts are not for ourselves. They're for others and for the kingdom.

1177
01:29:37.600 --> 01:29:41.440
So just because somebody has a gift, we need to look at their fruit

1178
01:29:42.400 --> 01:29:48.880
and their heart and their spirit. Are they using that gift for themselves,

1179
01:29:52.320 --> 01:29:59.600
for pride, for their own advancement, or are they using it

1180
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:07.920
it for God and for others in the kingdom? Are they humble? Do they walk in humility?

1181
01:30:10.720 --> 01:30:17.120
How do they show up? That's what we're looking for. And ladies, believe it or not, you'll be

1182
01:30:17.120 --> 01:30:20.480
surprised. A lot of times you don't have to wait really long until you find out if they're a

1183
01:30:20.480 --> 01:30:28.720
Christian or not. Because guess what? You are. So when you're learning about them and they're

1184
01:30:28.720 --> 01:30:36.880
learning about you, if God is the center of your life, guess what you're going to talk about

1185
01:30:37.760 --> 01:30:44.720
naturally? You're going to talk about God. And you're going to see how they respond. And God's

1186
01:30:44.720 --> 01:30:53.360
going to use what you share to reveal more information about them. And you're going to

1187
01:30:53.360 --> 01:31:00.880
see how they respond. And ladies, we ask you to get curious. Don't jump to conclusions.

1188
01:31:02.080 --> 01:31:08.880
Ask curious questions. Don't ask the direct question, so are you a Christian? Tell me your

1189
01:31:08.880 --> 01:31:15.360
story. Tell me your testimony. How do you like, no, be like, if they say something, be like, oh, well,

1190
01:31:16.160 --> 01:31:19.680
so you don't go to church. You know, is there a reason that is? Did you ever go before?

1191
01:31:20.240 --> 01:31:25.680
Is there a reason that you stopped going? Some people think, oh, well, he doesn't go to church.

1192
01:31:26.560 --> 01:31:29.760
Y'all, fun fact, I didn't go to church when I was in this community for a while.

1193
01:31:30.560 --> 01:31:35.840
God called me away from my church and there was a reason for that. Because God was preparing me

1194
01:31:36.960 --> 01:31:44.800
to have to leave my, to leave my comfort zone and move to Texas. Y'all, I wouldn't like, if I was so

1195
01:31:45.600 --> 01:31:49.840
locked into that church at that time, I wouldn't probably have agreed to move.

1196
01:31:50.800 --> 01:31:59.440
Because that church was my life source, was a resource for me as a single mom. I was in that

1197
01:31:59.440 --> 01:32:07.200
church for 10 years and God pruned that church for me. And that was hard. And so I'm like,

1198
01:32:08.160 --> 01:32:15.600
hmm, well, if I just always, if y'all went by someone not going, it's understand the why.

1199
01:32:18.240 --> 01:32:21.040
Just because people go to church doesn't mean they have a relationship with the Lord.

1200
01:32:21.680 --> 01:32:26.640
You can go to church every Sunday and there is no relationship with God whatsoever.

1201
01:32:28.000 --> 01:32:31.920
And then there's other people that, you know, might not always go every Sunday.

1202
01:32:32.480 --> 01:32:37.040
I know when my son has baseball, y'all, I can't always go every Sunday.

1203
01:32:38.880 --> 01:32:44.880
But guess what? I'm in the Word just about every single day. I'm watching sermons all the time.

1204
01:32:44.880 --> 01:32:50.240
I am meeting up with my friends and we are having Bible study. We are talking scripture.

1205
01:32:50.880 --> 01:33:00.000
Like I am very much intimate with the Lord. So that's what you're going to want to gather.

1206
01:33:00.800 --> 01:33:06.800
But you want that to naturally show up. Okay. So I felt that was really, really important,

1207
01:33:06.800 --> 01:33:10.800
but I want to get to your question of, do you tell your son? And I think you were kind

1208
01:33:10.800 --> 01:33:14.720
of going back and forth. And so with that, if you're going back and forth,

1209
01:33:16.880 --> 01:33:18.960
what does your heart tell you to do?

1210
01:33:24.640 --> 01:33:28.000
I'm afraid to answer. I don't know the correct answer.

1211
01:33:28.000 --> 01:33:33.440
If you don't know, what is the best choice? If you don't know, if you're not getting a clear

1212
01:33:33.440 --> 01:33:38.960
answer, what do you think the right answer is at this moment is to not say anything yet.

1213
01:33:39.520 --> 01:33:45.520
If you don't have the piece of a, this or that, you don't have to have the answer right away.

1214
01:33:46.160 --> 01:33:52.960
Right. And so I think that's okay. I think right now, this, this is a new guy. You don't know

1215
01:33:52.960 --> 01:33:58.640
where this is going. You are just getting to know this guy. All right. And that relationship

1216
01:33:58.640 --> 01:34:08.720
with your son is very, very sensitive. Yeah. That's got your heart. Yes. I don't want something

1217
01:34:08.720 --> 01:34:18.080
that has your heart to now intertwine with something new that could possibly get you kind of

1218
01:34:18.800 --> 01:34:23.680
into this chaos. Does that make sense? Yes, it does. So that's important.

1219
01:34:24.320 --> 01:34:29.600
Yeah. Okay. So I have, I have two sons by the way. Yeah. I have two sons. Yeah. But the,

1220
01:34:29.600 --> 01:34:35.120
the one that I live closest to physically, yeah. He would be the one I was thinking of,

1221
01:34:35.120 --> 01:34:39.920
but yeah. I mean, and again, I think somebody asked this question, like, when do we start,

1222
01:34:39.920 --> 01:34:45.120
you know, introducing them? Well, I would say get to know them for a little bit.

1223
01:34:45.760 --> 01:34:50.880
Once you start moving past the get to know you stage and you think it's moving towards exclusivity,

1224
01:34:52.000 --> 01:34:57.040
okay. Then you're going to want to, you're going to want to bring them into your community and

1225
01:34:57.040 --> 01:34:59.680
you're going to want to be in their community. You're going to want to see.

1226
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:03.240
how they respond to people that are close to you,

1227
01:35:03.240 --> 01:35:04.820
and you're gonna wanna see how they respond

1228
01:35:04.820 --> 01:35:06.580
in their environment as well.

1229
01:35:06.580 --> 01:35:07.420
Exactly.

1230
01:35:07.420 --> 01:35:08.240
But get to know them first,

1231
01:35:08.240 --> 01:35:10.640
see if there's some things that you enjoy about them.

1232
01:35:10.640 --> 01:35:12.060
Like make sure that,

1233
01:35:12.060 --> 01:35:14.720
like you actually enjoy spending time with them.

1234
01:35:14.720 --> 01:35:16.240
And then there's some commonalities

1235
01:35:16.240 --> 01:35:18.400
and some compatibility there, okay?

1236
01:35:18.400 --> 01:35:19.240
Yeah, that makes sense.

1237
01:35:19.240 --> 01:35:20.200
Does that make sense?

1238
01:35:20.200 --> 01:35:22.160
I don't know anything at this point

1239
01:35:22.160 --> 01:35:24.240
other than what she's told me.

1240
01:35:24.240 --> 01:35:25.080
Yeah.

1241
01:35:25.080 --> 01:35:25.900
All right.

1242
01:35:25.900 --> 01:35:26.740
All right, perfect.

1243
01:35:26.740 --> 01:35:27.560
Thank you so much, Peggy.

1244
01:35:27.560 --> 01:35:28.400
You're welcome.

1245
01:35:28.400 --> 01:35:29.400
All right, Chrissy.

1246
01:35:29.400 --> 01:35:30.560
How are you, Chrissy?

1247
01:35:30.560 --> 01:35:32.260
My girl in Florida, Tampa area.

1248
01:35:32.260 --> 01:35:33.100
What's up?

1249
01:35:34.800 --> 01:35:36.240
Hello.

1250
01:35:36.240 --> 01:35:37.280
Can you hear me okay?

1251
01:35:37.280 --> 01:35:38.680
Yes, I can.

1252
01:35:38.680 --> 01:35:40.320
Okay.

1253
01:35:40.320 --> 01:35:43.560
So it didn't have necessarily a question.

1254
01:35:43.560 --> 01:35:47.160
It was just something to, I guess, celebrate.

1255
01:35:48.200 --> 01:35:49.280
I love celebrations.

1256
01:35:50.920 --> 01:35:52.880
So God has really been,

1257
01:35:55.000 --> 01:35:58.640
I'm gonna say amping me up for this conversation today.

1258
01:35:58.720 --> 01:35:59.560
Yes.

1259
01:36:00.640 --> 01:36:02.760
Because that's how I've been feeling,

1260
01:36:02.760 --> 01:36:04.640
especially with this move.

1261
01:36:04.640 --> 01:36:07.840
And I didn't even move like across anywhere

1262
01:36:07.840 --> 01:36:08.920
or move to a different place.

1263
01:36:08.920 --> 01:36:11.480
I literally moved down the hall.

1264
01:36:11.480 --> 01:36:13.440
I moved from one room to another

1265
01:36:13.440 --> 01:36:15.720
because my sister and my niece were moving

1266
01:36:15.720 --> 01:36:17.880
into the room that I was in

1267
01:36:17.880 --> 01:36:21.080
and they were moving from their house into ours.

1268
01:36:21.080 --> 01:36:21.980
Love it.

1269
01:36:21.980 --> 01:36:23.360
So it was a lot of chaos.

1270
01:36:23.360 --> 01:36:27.040
But in the meantime,

1271
01:36:28.000 --> 01:36:33.000
I did have a moment where I remember walking out of my room

1272
01:36:33.040 --> 01:36:35.280
and having like moved all this stuff in

1273
01:36:36.240 --> 01:36:38.920
and just thinking to myself,

1274
01:36:38.920 --> 01:36:42.540
I have a lot of responsibilities and I'm tired.

1275
01:36:46.480 --> 01:36:48.880
But I moved on and kept doing things.

1276
01:36:48.880 --> 01:36:52.280
And then this past Friday,

1277
01:36:52.280 --> 01:36:54.520
there was a trivia night that I wanted to go to.

1278
01:36:54.520 --> 01:36:56.880
And I really enjoyed trivia.

1279
01:36:57.720 --> 01:36:58.840
I love any kind of trivia.

1280
01:36:58.840 --> 01:37:01.840
And it was specifically movie soundtracks.

1281
01:37:02.680 --> 01:37:04.660
And I know that I could have won,

1282
01:37:05.880 --> 01:37:07.520
but I had no one to go with.

1283
01:37:07.520 --> 01:37:08.840
And I kept telling myself, it's okay.

1284
01:37:08.840 --> 01:37:09.680
You can go by yourself.

1285
01:37:09.680 --> 01:37:11.480
It's not a big deal.

1286
01:37:11.480 --> 01:37:13.680
But at the same time,

1287
01:37:13.680 --> 01:37:18.680
my friend who owns a fitness mobile,

1288
01:37:19.040 --> 01:37:22.760
she was doing a fitness event that evening

1289
01:37:22.760 --> 01:37:25.600
and had asked me to come.

1290
01:37:25.640 --> 01:37:27.400
And I was torn.

1291
01:37:27.400 --> 01:37:28.240
Should I go there?

1292
01:37:28.240 --> 01:37:29.060
Should I go here?

1293
01:37:29.060 --> 01:37:33.020
Because I need to fitness, but I also want a trivia.

1294
01:37:34.320 --> 01:37:38.760
And I ended up having like a,

1295
01:37:38.760 --> 01:37:39.800
in the middle of the day,

1296
01:37:39.800 --> 01:37:41.320
I worked from home and I was having a conversation

1297
01:37:41.320 --> 01:37:43.080
with my mom and my sister.

1298
01:37:43.080 --> 01:37:45.840
I went back to my desk and my heart,

1299
01:37:45.840 --> 01:37:49.560
I have a heart condition I was diagnosed with in March.

1300
01:37:49.560 --> 01:37:50.400
Okay.

1301
01:37:50.400 --> 01:37:52.680
And the symptoms had gone away

1302
01:37:52.680 --> 01:37:54.620
for the past maybe like two months.

1303
01:37:55.540 --> 01:37:56.780
And all of a sudden they came back

1304
01:37:56.780 --> 01:37:58.340
when I sat back down at my desk

1305
01:37:58.340 --> 01:37:59.620
and I was like, what is going on?

1306
01:37:59.620 --> 01:38:00.680
I'm like, I haven't felt this way.

1307
01:38:00.680 --> 01:38:01.780
I couldn't breathe.

1308
01:38:01.780 --> 01:38:02.620
Okay.

1309
01:38:02.620 --> 01:38:04.020
I had to stand up, like all this stuff.

1310
01:38:04.020 --> 01:38:06.300
And I was going, I was like,

1311
01:38:06.300 --> 01:38:08.180
going back through everything.

1312
01:38:08.180 --> 01:38:09.580
And I was like, did I do something?

1313
01:38:09.580 --> 01:38:11.020
Did I, you know, mind you,

1314
01:38:11.020 --> 01:38:13.020
I didn't even think about the moving.

1315
01:38:13.020 --> 01:38:16.180
Like of all the things I could have done

1316
01:38:16.180 --> 01:38:17.380
that would have stressed me out,

1317
01:38:17.380 --> 01:38:19.580
moving was not on my radar.

1318
01:38:19.580 --> 01:38:23.060
And I was like, cool off.

1319
01:38:23.060 --> 01:38:23.900
We get it.

1320
01:38:24.300 --> 01:38:27.100
We've all probably had a moment of moving

1321
01:38:27.100 --> 01:38:29.940
and y'all that is, oh, that's, it's heavy.

1322
01:38:30.980 --> 01:38:31.820
So I get you.

1323
01:38:33.380 --> 01:38:35.580
So I just was like, okay, well,

1324
01:38:35.580 --> 01:38:37.700
if I'm not feeling well,

1325
01:38:37.700 --> 01:38:38.700
I don't want to like,

1326
01:38:38.700 --> 01:38:42.140
I don't want to overexert myself if I go work out.

1327
01:38:43.060 --> 01:38:45.180
And then obviously I'm not going to go

1328
01:38:45.180 --> 01:38:50.060
and sit in like a bar by myself doing trivia.

1329
01:38:50.060 --> 01:38:52.460
Like I know I'm going to be like,

1330
01:38:52.460 --> 01:38:55.020
that's going to make me anxiety-ish.

1331
01:38:55.020 --> 01:38:55.860
Yeah.

1332
01:38:56.740 --> 01:38:59.220
So I just ended up not doing anything.

1333
01:38:59.220 --> 01:39:01.420
And I stayed at home and I had like,

1334
01:39:01.420 --> 01:39:02.380
my nephews were here.

1335
01:39:02.380 --> 01:39:03.220
So we had a good time.

1336
01:39:03.220 --> 01:39:04.260
We were watching Star Wars

1337
01:39:04.260 --> 01:39:07.340
and realized I should take my nephew to trivia with me.

1338
01:39:09.580 --> 01:39:10.820
You know, so it was fine,

1339
01:39:10.820 --> 01:39:12.180
but I was still feeling that way.

1340
01:39:12.180 --> 01:39:14.540
And then Saturday I was feeling that way

1341
01:39:14.540 --> 01:39:16.500
and started feeling the chest,

1342
01:39:16.500 --> 01:39:18.940
you know, heart palpitations and all that.

1343
01:39:20.980 --> 01:39:21.820
And I just look up thinking,

1344
01:39:22.180 --> 01:39:23.020
like, what is going on?

1345
01:39:23.020 --> 01:39:23.860
What is going on?

1346
01:39:23.860 --> 01:39:26.100
And then today I was feeling the same way.

1347
01:39:26.100 --> 01:39:27.340
And I was like, okay, God, you know,

1348
01:39:27.340 --> 01:39:28.460
I don't know what's going on,

1349
01:39:28.460 --> 01:39:32.420
but you know, maybe I did something to stress myself out.

1350
01:39:32.420 --> 01:39:35.420
Again, the move was not in my radar.

1351
01:39:36.780 --> 01:39:40.460
And just when you said that in carrying stuff,

1352
01:39:40.460 --> 01:39:42.900
I was like, oh, that's it.

1353
01:39:42.900 --> 01:39:46.580
And I realized I've been carrying all of this.

1354
01:39:48.220 --> 01:39:49.340
I've been carrying all of this.

1355
01:39:49.340 --> 01:39:51.780
And even the Supernatural Saturday,

1356
01:39:51.780 --> 01:39:53.300
not this past Saturday,

1357
01:39:53.300 --> 01:39:58.300
but last Saturday was when we first started moving.

1358
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:04.880
And, um, I had to leave the house cause I was like, there's too much emotions going

1359
01:40:04.880 --> 01:40:05.880
on.

1360
01:40:05.880 --> 01:40:08.680
Um, uh, would they feel her?

1361
01:40:08.680 --> 01:40:09.680
Yeah.

1362
01:40:09.680 --> 01:40:10.680
Yeah.

1363
01:40:10.680 --> 01:40:11.680
Yeah.

1364
01:40:11.680 --> 01:40:12.680
Jackie was talking about that.

1365
01:40:12.680 --> 01:40:13.680
Cause she went, she went to that retreat.

1366
01:40:13.680 --> 01:40:14.680
Yeah.

1367
01:40:14.680 --> 01:40:15.680
Yeah.

1368
01:40:15.680 --> 01:40:16.680
And I was like, I gotta get out of the house.

1369
01:40:16.680 --> 01:40:18.800
I can't, I can't stay in here.

1370
01:40:18.800 --> 01:40:19.800
And I left.

1371
01:40:19.800 --> 01:40:25.680
And as soon as she started talking about her mom and that song, I just started weeping

1372
01:40:25.680 --> 01:40:28.400
and I was like, Oh, okay.

1373
01:40:28.400 --> 01:40:29.880
I was like, this is what's happening.

1374
01:40:29.880 --> 01:40:31.840
We're like, we're grieving the move.

1375
01:40:31.840 --> 01:40:36.000
There's, there's a lot of change happening all at once.

1376
01:40:36.000 --> 01:40:42.520
And I'm feeling what everybody else is feeling on top of the things that I'm already going

1377
01:40:42.520 --> 01:40:43.520
through.

1378
01:40:43.520 --> 01:40:48.360
And then thinking about the last year single and thinking about this book, um, we just

1379
01:40:48.360 --> 01:40:49.360
did the book club with her.

1380
01:40:49.360 --> 01:40:52.360
I just did the book club with her.

1381
01:40:52.360 --> 01:40:58.120
Um, the last thing on my mind, I haven't even, I haven't even looked through my apps to download

1382
01:40:58.840 --> 01:40:59.840
an app.

1383
01:40:59.840 --> 01:41:05.880
I'm, I'm afraid to, I didn't, it took me probably about two or three weeks to even bump myself

1384
01:41:05.880 --> 01:41:09.080
up to phase two because I didn't want to.

1385
01:41:09.080 --> 01:41:12.840
And I, the day that I made the transition was the day we started the book club.

1386
01:41:12.840 --> 01:41:14.680
So when she was like, Oh, you can't date now.

1387
01:41:14.680 --> 01:41:20.480
And I was like, Oh, okay, no problem.

1388
01:41:20.480 --> 01:41:23.800
Girl, I would have been like in that book club for a whole year.

1389
01:41:23.800 --> 01:41:27.480
Cause I, y'all, I was not dating for a year.

1390
01:41:27.840 --> 01:41:28.840
Yep.

1391
01:41:28.840 --> 01:41:29.840
Sure.

1392
01:41:29.840 --> 01:41:33.160
So I love that.

1393
01:41:33.160 --> 01:41:34.920
Like this is, see, this is good.

1394
01:41:34.920 --> 01:41:41.880
So I let like what I'm, what I'm hearing in your voice is you're allowing yourself just

1395
01:41:41.880 --> 01:41:50.680
to be, to give yourself grace and you're being gentle with yourself and you're recognizing

1396
01:41:50.680 --> 01:41:53.000
what you're feeling.

1397
01:41:53.400 --> 01:42:00.520
Just having that, being tuned into that is so important.

1398
01:42:01.720 --> 01:42:14.040
Ladies, just because we are surrendering things to God doesn't mean we're not allowed to have

1399
01:42:14.040 --> 01:42:17.800
feelings and emotions.

1400
01:42:18.760 --> 01:42:28.040
Doesn't mean that we can't recognize that it's the fact that we can sit and say, this

1401
01:42:28.040 --> 01:42:30.120
is what I'm feeling.

1402
01:42:30.120 --> 01:42:37.480
And the fact that you're taking time and saying, okay, I don't think it's this.

1403
01:42:37.480 --> 01:42:44.040
I'm not sure, but look at how God showed up with this.

1404
01:42:44.360 --> 01:42:53.960
With this, like all, all God had to use was a word about carrying, carrying weight.

1405
01:42:55.720 --> 01:43:02.520
And that's, that allowed Holy Spirit to speak to you and said, Hey, you have carried some

1406
01:43:02.520 --> 01:43:02.840
stuff.

1407
01:43:03.560 --> 01:43:08.040
And so now you get the opportunity to go rest.

1408
01:43:08.040 --> 01:43:12.600
I love the fact that you, you recognize that you were like the first thing you were like,

1409
01:43:12.600 --> 01:43:17.320
okay, um, there was all this, this chaos and all that kind of stuff.

1410
01:43:17.320 --> 01:43:22.200
There was trivia and I wanted to go, but I also knew I was tired.

1411
01:43:24.040 --> 01:43:26.040
And then your friend asked you to go do something.

1412
01:43:26.040 --> 01:43:32.040
And you're like, like, you see how you're kind of like leaning towards, like, if I'm

1413
01:43:32.040 --> 01:43:37.720
wanting to, I'm wondering, do you often feel like you have to do some, like you're forced

1414
01:43:37.800 --> 01:43:44.440
to do something and that you can't honor what it is that you want to do for you?

1415
01:43:47.960 --> 01:43:48.200
Yeah.

1416
01:43:50.600 --> 01:43:52.360
And so I want you to pay attention to that.

1417
01:43:52.360 --> 01:43:58.920
Chrissy sits still with that.

1418
01:43:59.640 --> 01:44:00.440
It's okay.

1419
01:44:01.400 --> 01:44:10.520
You are recognizing what your body and what your heart is communicating to you.

1420
01:44:12.600 --> 01:44:20.440
And you're allowed to take that to God and say, God, I don't want to do that.

1421
01:44:21.400 --> 01:44:26.600
I feel like I have to help me with that.

1422
01:44:26.840 --> 01:44:32.920
Give me the courage to say, I'm just going to stay home and rest.

1423
01:44:33.800 --> 01:44:36.120
You don't have to give the reasons.

1424
01:44:37.160 --> 01:44:39.320
You don't have to feel shame or guilt.

1425
01:44:40.920 --> 01:44:44.440
You just get to recognize, you know, but I'm tired.

1426
01:44:45.560 --> 01:44:48.760
I don't want to have to keep performing for other people.

1427
01:44:49.960 --> 01:44:51.320
I want to take that on.

1428
01:44:52.920 --> 01:44:54.440
And so now you get to sit with the Lord.

1429
01:44:54.680 --> 01:44:56.360
And so now you get to sit with the Lord.

1430
01:44:56.360 --> 01:44:59.800
Maybe he wants you to be still because maybe he wants to have that time with you.

1431
01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:10.040
So that you can sit and you can dive deeper of where's, where's that coming from?

1432
01:45:10.040 --> 01:45:15.200
Is that part of something that he wants to heal?

1433
01:45:15.200 --> 01:45:20.880
And it's okay that you're not jumping into dating.

1434
01:45:20.880 --> 01:45:23.520
Don't force yourself.

1435
01:45:23.520 --> 01:45:25.920
Sometimes we're in seasons of rest because we need the rest.

1436
01:45:26.640 --> 01:45:30.800
At the beginning of the summer, God told me, Carla, you're taking a 90, 90 days of rest.

1437
01:45:32.080 --> 01:45:32.960
And I'm like, what?

1438
01:45:32.960 --> 01:45:33.840
I can't do that.

1439
01:45:35.440 --> 01:45:39.200
He's like, no, like, and I sat with that.

1440
01:45:39.200 --> 01:45:40.560
I'm like, well, what does that look like?

1441
01:45:40.560 --> 01:45:41.200
What's that mean?

1442
01:45:41.200 --> 01:45:46.480
And he's like, it just means you're not going to overdo yourself.

1443
01:45:47.440 --> 01:45:51.280
You're going to allow yourself to sit when you need to sit.

1444
01:45:52.720 --> 01:45:54.160
And you're going to spend time with me.

1445
01:45:54.160 --> 01:45:58.880
You're not going to overachieve and take on responsibilities of other people.

1446
01:46:02.000 --> 01:46:04.960
And so I think this is a great celebration.

1447
01:46:06.480 --> 01:46:11.840
And I want you to recognize what work you're doing.

1448
01:46:11.840 --> 01:46:13.840
Like, how is the heartwork showing up?

1449
01:46:13.840 --> 01:46:16.160
Like you are recognizing those things.

1450
01:46:16.800 --> 01:46:18.400
So lean into that.

1451
01:46:19.520 --> 01:46:20.320
Lean into that.

1452
01:46:20.560 --> 01:46:24.320
And, you know, and if you're carrying this heaviness with it, like, oh, I'm supposed,

1453
01:46:25.120 --> 01:46:26.560
let's sit with that.

1454
01:46:27.520 --> 01:46:28.320
Share it with us.

1455
01:46:29.280 --> 01:46:30.560
We can help you walk through that.

1456
01:46:31.440 --> 01:46:32.480
Spend time with God.

1457
01:46:32.480 --> 01:46:33.680
See what he's revealing.

1458
01:46:33.680 --> 01:46:37.600
Let us know, like, hey, I, I think it's this and this thing.

1459
01:46:37.600 --> 01:46:38.480
Some of these things come up.

1460
01:46:38.480 --> 01:46:41.200
I'm not really sure what to, how to process this.

1461
01:46:42.400 --> 01:46:43.600
We'll walk you through it.

1462
01:46:44.800 --> 01:46:46.080
That's what we're here for.

1463
01:46:47.200 --> 01:46:47.840
All right.

1464
01:46:47.840 --> 01:46:51.760
And I also feel like you said that you, you moved down the hall.

1465
01:46:51.760 --> 01:46:58.400
I felt like, let me ask you, does it feel like there's a fresh start?

1466
01:47:01.520 --> 01:47:10.880
Yeah, I do feel that way because like, I feel that I felt that when I first moved here,

1467
01:47:10.880 --> 01:47:13.280
because I moved here in September to my parents' house.

1468
01:47:13.680 --> 01:47:15.600
And I was able to spread out.

1469
01:47:15.600 --> 01:47:20.080
So I had an office and I had my bedroom and they were two separate things.

1470
01:47:20.640 --> 01:47:21.140
Yeah.

1471
01:47:21.680 --> 01:47:26.640
And this move has now pushed me into my office so that my sister and my niece would come

1472
01:47:26.640 --> 01:47:28.080
into the bedroom that I had.

1473
01:47:30.640 --> 01:47:39.120
But, but it was the first time that I had moved, I've moved a lot, that I felt,

1474
01:47:39.200 --> 01:47:41.840
yeah, like you said about the hurricane, I felt peace.

1475
01:47:43.120 --> 01:47:46.240
I didn't feel what I would normally feel.

1476
01:47:46.240 --> 01:47:47.120
I didn't feel stressed.

1477
01:47:47.120 --> 01:47:49.200
Like I didn't, honestly, I didn't feel the stress.

1478
01:47:49.920 --> 01:47:55.200
And the reason I left the house is because my parents were moving, were helping the move

1479
01:47:55.200 --> 01:47:56.720
and they were doing their own thing.

1480
01:47:56.720 --> 01:47:59.040
And I could feel them stressing me out.

1481
01:48:00.080 --> 01:48:04.400
And I had to, I actually physically stayed in the house for a while.

1482
01:48:04.480 --> 01:48:05.360
Stressing me out.

1483
01:48:06.480 --> 01:48:12.000
And I had to, I actually physically stopped what I was doing in my room and I started

1484
01:48:12.000 --> 01:48:15.280
praying and I prayed out loud because I was like, I don't know what's happening here,

1485
01:48:15.840 --> 01:48:17.280
because I started getting really sad.

1486
01:48:17.280 --> 01:48:22.800
And I started feeling the, like hearing these things that I was like, this isn't me.

1487
01:48:22.800 --> 01:48:24.960
This isn't, these aren't my thoughts.

1488
01:48:26.160 --> 01:48:28.480
And so when I, that's so good.

1489
01:48:29.600 --> 01:48:29.920
Yeah.

1490
01:48:29.920 --> 01:48:30.800
That's when I left.

1491
01:48:31.600 --> 01:48:33.920
And you know, like you're recognizing that.

1492
01:48:34.000 --> 01:48:38.640
So you're, you're in this, like, and that's the thing is you're in the discovery phase.

1493
01:48:38.640 --> 01:48:41.920
You're learning more about what it is that Chrissy needs.

1494
01:48:43.920 --> 01:48:44.320
All right.

1495
01:48:45.120 --> 01:48:50.800
Being an empath, it can take a lot of out, it can take a lot out of you.

1496
01:48:51.600 --> 01:49:00.160
It is a beautiful gift, but I don't know what your background is.

1497
01:49:01.120 --> 01:49:09.280
I don't come from a background of, um, like my, my parents aren't big believers.

1498
01:49:09.280 --> 01:49:12.000
Like I had no one to help me steward that gift.

1499
01:49:12.000 --> 01:49:18.480
I really never knew I had this gift until I came in this community around other charismatic

1500
01:49:19.440 --> 01:49:19.760
people.

1501
01:49:19.760 --> 01:49:24.240
Like, you know, I went to a charismatic church, the one that I had to move out of, but they

1502
01:49:24.240 --> 01:49:28.240
were not like your typical charismatic church.

1503
01:49:28.320 --> 01:49:30.560
There, there wasn't a lot of that going on.

1504
01:49:31.440 --> 01:49:35.360
Um, a lot of, you know, no one was, they weren't walking you through that.

1505
01:49:35.920 --> 01:49:41.200
And so I had no idea that this was part of my gifting.

1506
01:49:41.920 --> 01:49:48.240
I just thought I'm just overly emotional and I just feel everybody's feelings and, you

1507
01:49:48.240 --> 01:49:50.240
know, some people can't handle it.

1508
01:49:51.680 --> 01:49:56.880
And so I don't know if that has ever, like, if, if you have that in your life or you don't,

1509
01:49:56.880 --> 01:49:59.840
um, but you're starting to.

1510
01:50:00.000 --> 01:50:03.440
recognize what you're sensing and you're starting to say,

1511
01:50:03.480 --> 01:50:06.160
okay, this is what I'm feeling.

1512
01:50:06.600 --> 01:50:10.400
I need to go take care of myself. I'm going to go pray.

1513
01:50:10.680 --> 01:50:15.160
I'm going to go recognize this is something that's mine or is it somebody

1514
01:50:15.160 --> 01:50:19.480
else's that's huge. Like,

1515
01:50:19.520 --> 01:50:23.400
like I said, it is a beautiful, beautiful gift,

1516
01:50:24.800 --> 01:50:29.080
but when no one's

1517
01:50:30.160 --> 01:50:33.400
helping you steward that or they have,

1518
01:50:33.400 --> 01:50:36.720
and we gotten away from stewarding it well, because we're all human.

1519
01:50:36.720 --> 01:50:40.680
We can do that. You know, I, trust me, I,

1520
01:50:40.760 --> 01:50:41.680
I was very,

1521
01:50:41.840 --> 01:50:46.480
I became very good at my gift when I was in this community and

1522
01:50:46.480 --> 01:50:47.320
single,

1523
01:50:47.560 --> 01:50:52.080
when I stepped into marriage and I gained a husband and

1524
01:50:52.080 --> 01:50:56.640
two teen children who all three of them experienced some

1525
01:50:56.640 --> 01:50:58.440
trauma. They, they, you know,

1526
01:50:58.440 --> 01:51:02.280
my husband's wife passed away. So my two kids lost their mother.

1527
01:51:03.080 --> 01:51:04.560
She struggled with some,

1528
01:51:04.600 --> 01:51:09.200
some mental illnesses and there was some toxic behaviors that, you know,

1529
01:51:09.200 --> 01:51:11.840
my husband had to live through for his entire marriage.

1530
01:51:12.040 --> 01:51:17.000
There was a lot of trauma that was taking place and y'all,

1531
01:51:18.720 --> 01:51:22.520
when I was living in it, that gift,

1532
01:51:22.520 --> 01:51:27.480
that feeling took over and I

1533
01:51:27.520 --> 01:51:30.280
had no one helping like keep me in check.

1534
01:51:30.880 --> 01:51:32.960
And so it got out of hand for a minute.

1535
01:51:34.640 --> 01:51:38.080
So I want you to sit with this, like,

1536
01:51:39.160 --> 01:51:43.760
be like, recognize that. I want you,

1537
01:51:43.960 --> 01:51:47.240
I want you to, to start maybe jotting down

1538
01:51:48.800 --> 01:51:52.320
moments when you recognize what you're feeling

1539
01:51:53.280 --> 01:51:57.840
and what you're sensing you need to do and write it down.

1540
01:52:00.560 --> 01:52:02.560
And then when you write it down,

1541
01:52:02.960 --> 01:52:06.560
do what you're writing down and see if that helps.

1542
01:52:08.040 --> 01:52:13.080
Sound good. Yes. Thank you so much for sharing. I love that.

1543
01:52:14.200 --> 01:52:17.000
All right. I got Nikki up next. I got,

1544
01:52:17.000 --> 01:52:19.880
I know a lot of you are jumping off because I've definitely,

1545
01:52:19.880 --> 01:52:21.640
I'm going about 30 minutes over. So Nikki,

1546
01:52:21.960 --> 01:52:22.920
you'll be our last one.

1547
01:52:22.920 --> 01:52:25.240
I don't know if there were other people that had questions they might've had to

1548
01:52:25.240 --> 01:52:28.800
drop off. Hopefully they're going to go in the app and, and share.

1549
01:52:29.440 --> 01:52:33.520
How are you Nikki? Another Florida girl. I love it.

1550
01:52:33.920 --> 01:52:37.480
Yeah. I've been here a while.

1551
01:52:38.720 --> 01:52:40.680
But so I know about the hurricane.

1552
01:52:45.760 --> 01:52:49.000
So I've been in phase two a really, really, really long time.

1553
01:52:49.120 --> 01:52:52.440
And I have not dated. I have not gone on the app to anything.

1554
01:52:52.800 --> 01:52:57.800
I did a one-on-one with Ebony on Friday actually is my

1555
01:52:57.800 --> 01:53:02.360
first time doing a one-on-one cause I have not been coming to the meetings.

1556
01:53:03.240 --> 01:53:05.400
Some of it is because I've been working late.

1557
01:53:07.720 --> 01:53:09.600
But I have

1558
01:53:11.480 --> 01:53:14.640
reached a point where I'm just like really

1559
01:53:14.640 --> 01:53:20.160
tired. I don't know what the word is. Just like tired, I guess, right.

1560
01:53:20.160 --> 01:53:21.600
Is the best word I can think of.

1561
01:53:24.240 --> 01:53:28.920
Emotionally tired that I was like,

1562
01:53:28.920 --> 01:53:32.160
I need to do a one-on-one and then I need to start going back to the,

1563
01:53:32.320 --> 01:53:33.160
to the meetings.

1564
01:53:33.160 --> 01:53:38.120
Cause I went to a lot of the Tuesday night meetings in 2025,

1565
01:53:38.520 --> 01:53:41.600
but this year I have not gone to very many.

1566
01:53:42.000 --> 01:53:46.920
But basically when I did my one-on-one with Ebony,

1567
01:53:46.960 --> 01:53:48.800
we got into like deeper stuff.

1568
01:53:50.560 --> 01:53:55.480
So we didn't actually like talk as much about the current situation that I'm in.

1569
01:53:55.840 --> 01:53:58.800
And I wasn't going to say anything at first cause I'm like, well,

1570
01:53:58.800 --> 01:54:02.560
I'll just process it with Ebony again, which I do want to do.

1571
01:54:03.920 --> 01:54:08.760
But when you were talking to Peggy about not asking

1572
01:54:09.320 --> 01:54:11.880
if a person is a Christian right away,

1573
01:54:12.520 --> 01:54:16.280
I thought I would just bring up like the situation that I'm in.

1574
01:54:17.640 --> 01:54:22.560
Not because I was supposed to ask this guy right away if he's a Christian,

1575
01:54:23.000 --> 01:54:27.600
but I have been thinking about this situation so much and like what I could have

1576
01:54:27.600 --> 01:54:28.520
done different.

1577
01:54:28.640 --> 01:54:33.040
And I have to admit that if I had asked him like immediately,

1578
01:54:33.040 --> 01:54:37.520
I would have been possibly not in this place that I'm in now.

1579
01:54:38.000 --> 01:54:42.880
But basically long story short I actually asked you this

1580
01:54:42.880 --> 01:54:46.680
question back in March cause it was one of the times I had gone on an eight

1581
01:54:46.680 --> 01:54:50.560
o'clock session

1582
01:54:50.600 --> 01:54:55.360
and you were filling in for Ebony and I appreciated your advice.

1583
01:54:55.720 --> 01:54:59.640
It's just, I asked for it. I felt like I asked for it too late,

1584
01:54:59.640 --> 01:55:00.480
but basically.

1585
01:55:00.000 --> 01:55:03.560
Basically, this man started working in February

1586
01:55:03.560 --> 01:55:07.440
where I work, and I had just started this new job, too,

1587
01:55:07.440 --> 01:55:11.880
in November, November, December.

1588
01:55:11.880 --> 01:55:14.800
Like, I had not been there very long.

1589
01:55:14.800 --> 01:55:17.080
Same company, just a different position.

1590
01:55:17.080 --> 01:55:19.240
We're both counselors, actually.

1591
01:55:19.240 --> 01:55:21.040
We work in outpatient.

1592
01:55:21.040 --> 01:55:22.920
He started working there in February,

1593
01:55:22.920 --> 01:55:25.640
and he took an interest in me pretty quickly.

1594
01:55:25.640 --> 01:55:27.520
He's only four years older than me.

1595
01:55:27.520 --> 01:55:29.520
I'm 38, he's 42.

1596
01:55:30.200 --> 01:55:35.200
He's very handsome, and my co-workers were already,

1597
01:55:36.040 --> 01:55:39.920
my female co-workers were trying to find out information

1598
01:55:39.920 --> 01:55:40.760
about him because they thought,

1599
01:55:40.760 --> 01:55:42.600
oh, you guys would be so cute together.

1600
01:55:42.600 --> 01:55:45.360
But I would tell them, I don't know if he's a Christian,

1601
01:55:45.360 --> 01:55:48.600
and I don't even wanna entertain this

1602
01:55:48.600 --> 01:55:52.120
if he's not a Christian, especially in a working environment.

1603
01:55:52.120 --> 01:55:53.560
And I've never experienced that before

1604
01:55:53.560 --> 01:55:56.360
because for a long time, I worked in a rehab,

1605
01:55:56.360 --> 01:55:57.440
and it was just for women,

1606
01:55:57.440 --> 01:55:59.600
and the people who worked there were women.

1607
01:55:59.600 --> 01:56:02.920
And so this is not a normal situation

1608
01:56:02.920 --> 01:56:04.880
that I'm in to begin with.

1609
01:56:04.880 --> 01:56:08.600
So anyways, he took an interest in me regardless.

1610
01:56:08.600 --> 01:56:11.840
It didn't matter what my co-workers were saying.

1611
01:56:11.840 --> 01:56:13.160
They were asking him questions,

1612
01:56:13.160 --> 01:56:18.040
but he already had his attention set on me.

1613
01:56:18.040 --> 01:56:23.040
And so he would offer to buy me chai.

1614
01:56:23.040 --> 01:56:24.320
He found out I liked chai

1615
01:56:24.320 --> 01:56:25.760
when he was going to the store at lunch.

1616
01:56:26.680 --> 01:56:30.960
Yeah, he was definitely showing like,

1617
01:56:30.960 --> 01:56:32.440
hey, I'm interested.

1618
01:56:32.440 --> 01:56:36.360
He was reciprocating that effort, I remember.

1619
01:56:36.360 --> 01:56:37.960
I do remember this, I do.

1620
01:56:37.960 --> 01:56:39.160
Yeah, that's a good memory

1621
01:56:39.160 --> 01:56:40.000
because this was March, early March.

1622
01:56:40.000 --> 01:56:40.840
Yes, I do.

1623
01:56:40.840 --> 01:56:42.440
It was really beginning of March.

1624
01:56:42.440 --> 01:56:47.440
And so we ended up, he got Teams on his phone.

1625
01:56:48.000 --> 01:56:48.840
Okay.

1626
01:56:48.840 --> 01:56:49.860
When you have Teams on your phone

1627
01:56:49.860 --> 01:56:51.000
and I have Teams on my phone,

1628
01:56:51.000 --> 01:56:52.040
it feels like you're texting.

1629
01:56:52.040 --> 01:56:53.840
It doesn't even feel like there's any difference.

1630
01:56:53.840 --> 01:56:56.800
Yeah, my husband has all those things too.

1631
01:56:56.800 --> 01:56:58.880
So it's always a ding or something.

1632
01:56:58.880 --> 01:57:00.880
Yep, all the things.

1633
01:57:00.880 --> 01:57:03.160
Yeah, so once it's on your phone

1634
01:57:03.160 --> 01:57:04.360
and we ended up engaging

1635
01:57:04.360 --> 01:57:08.440
in like really easy conversation on Teams

1636
01:57:08.440 --> 01:57:13.440
and like the chemistry was obvious just on Teams

1637
01:57:14.200 --> 01:57:17.880
and like it was just, it flowed really well.

1638
01:57:17.880 --> 01:57:20.320
And I was like, I like talking to him.

1639
01:57:20.320 --> 01:57:21.560
And so he asked me like,

1640
01:57:21.560 --> 01:57:24.160
do you wanna just go ahead and move this over to the phone?

1641
01:57:24.160 --> 01:57:25.720
So he gave me his number and I'm like, sure.

1642
01:57:25.720 --> 01:57:27.320
Like, it doesn't make any sense.

1643
01:57:27.320 --> 01:57:29.680
This feels like texting anyways.

1644
01:57:29.680 --> 01:57:30.520
Yeah.

1645
01:57:30.520 --> 01:57:33.400
So we started texting a lot.

1646
01:57:33.400 --> 01:57:36.640
He did know that I was a Christian

1647
01:57:36.640 --> 01:57:39.480
because like you said, like it gets brought up easily

1648
01:57:39.480 --> 01:57:40.520
when you're a Christian

1649
01:57:40.520 --> 01:57:42.960
and he knew I was going to a Bible study.

1650
01:57:42.960 --> 01:57:44.440
He knew a couple other things.

1651
01:57:44.440 --> 01:57:46.240
I had mentioned praying about something

1652
01:57:46.240 --> 01:57:50.440
and he gathered enough at that point.

1653
01:57:50.760 --> 01:57:53.520
But he hadn't mentioned anything about his faith.

1654
01:57:53.520 --> 01:57:55.640
The only thing I knew at that point

1655
01:57:55.640 --> 01:57:57.360
that had been gathered by my coworkers

1656
01:57:57.360 --> 01:57:59.440
was that he didn't go to church.

1657
01:57:59.440 --> 01:58:02.280
But once again, like you said, that doesn't necessarily mean

1658
01:58:02.280 --> 01:58:05.640
but I was like wondering.

1659
01:58:05.640 --> 01:58:08.000
So anyways, we talked on the phone once

1660
01:58:08.000 --> 01:58:11.160
before I came on to ask the question that I did in March.

1661
01:58:11.160 --> 01:58:13.080
We talked on the phone for a really long time,

1662
01:58:13.080 --> 01:58:14.400
like three hours.

1663
01:58:14.400 --> 01:58:15.240
Okay.

1664
01:58:15.240 --> 01:58:17.840
Nothing about spirituality and faith came up.

1665
01:58:17.840 --> 01:58:18.680
Okay.

1666
01:58:18.680 --> 01:58:19.640
And I started to get anxious

1667
01:58:19.640 --> 01:58:23.160
because I'm like, I already know myself.

1668
01:58:24.480 --> 01:58:26.720
Once I have an emotional connection,

1669
01:58:26.720 --> 01:58:28.680
it is really hard to break it.

1670
01:58:28.680 --> 01:58:32.360
And I was like, Nikki in the past

1671
01:58:32.360 --> 01:58:35.360
would probably keep it going.

1672
01:58:35.360 --> 01:58:38.200
But, and that would not be a good idea.

1673
01:58:38.200 --> 01:58:42.680
But now with this new information, I would just like stop.

1674
01:58:42.680 --> 01:58:44.760
I would stop talking to him.

1675
01:58:46.280 --> 01:58:48.400
But then I'm like, this is really complicated.

1676
01:58:49.120 --> 01:58:50.440
He works literally right down the hall from me.

1677
01:58:50.440 --> 01:58:51.520
I see him every day.

1678
01:58:51.520 --> 01:58:54.240
Like, this is not like a normal situation

1679
01:58:54.240 --> 01:58:55.360
where I could just be like,

1680
01:58:55.360 --> 01:58:57.840
oh, I'm just not gonna talk to you anymore.

1681
01:58:57.840 --> 01:59:00.960
And I was already like really enjoying our texting,

1682
01:59:00.960 --> 01:59:02.680
really enjoying the conversation.

1683
01:59:03.960 --> 01:59:08.960
So after I got off the call on here with you,

1684
01:59:09.720 --> 01:59:12.440
I went ahead and texted him

1685
01:59:12.440 --> 01:59:14.160
that I wanted to have a conversation

1686
01:59:14.160 --> 01:59:15.760
about something we hadn't talked about yet.

1687
01:59:15.760 --> 01:59:17.560
And he pretty much guessed

1688
01:59:17.560 --> 01:59:18.720
that it was spirituality and faith.

1689
01:59:18.720 --> 01:59:20.800
Like he's intuitive, he knew.

1690
01:59:20.800 --> 01:59:21.640
Yeah.

1691
01:59:21.640 --> 01:59:22.880
And he said, I can tell that your faith

1692
01:59:22.880 --> 01:59:24.840
is very paramount to you.

1693
01:59:24.840 --> 01:59:27.800
He says, you might be a little disappointed in me though.

1694
01:59:27.800 --> 01:59:28.640
Okay.

1695
01:59:28.640 --> 01:59:30.120
And so I told him, I'm not gonna be disappointed in you.

1696
01:59:30.120 --> 01:59:33.000
I didn't want him to think that if he didn't have faith

1697
01:59:33.000 --> 01:59:35.760
that he's like, I think of him less than.

1698
01:59:35.760 --> 01:59:36.600
Yeah.

1699
01:59:36.600 --> 01:59:39.120
So I did tell him I wouldn't be disappointed in him,

1700
01:59:39.120 --> 01:59:41.920
but I wanted to like continue the conversation on the phone.

1701
01:59:41.920 --> 01:59:43.480
So we planned to talk the next night.

1702
01:59:43.480 --> 01:59:45.360
We talked again for a really long time.

1703
01:59:45.360 --> 01:59:47.040
I found out he's an agnostic.

1704
01:59:47.880 --> 01:59:52.880
And I told him that we would just be friends.

1705
01:59:53.200 --> 01:59:54.040
Okay.

1706
01:59:54.040 --> 01:59:59.040
My problem is we basically, long story short,

1707
02:00:00.000 --> 02:00:04.880
We didn't talk for like a weekend,

1708
02:00:04.880 --> 02:00:09.880
but just interacting at work opened up more conversation.

1709
02:00:15.760 --> 02:00:19.120
We're texting again, we're talking on the phone again.

1710
02:00:19.120 --> 02:00:23.080
He's trying to understand why I won't give him a chance

1711
02:00:23.080 --> 02:00:27.280
because he obviously doesn't have the same worldview,

1712
02:00:28.040 --> 02:00:30.040
he just doesn't understand what I'm looking,

1713
02:00:30.040 --> 02:00:31.240
like why this is so important

1714
02:00:31.240 --> 02:00:34.320
because he's dated other Christians in the past,

1715
02:00:34.320 --> 02:00:35.960
he said, who weren't to church

1716
02:00:35.960 --> 02:00:38.760
and they didn't have an issue with that.

1717
02:00:40.680 --> 02:00:45.680
We spent so many hours talking about it in a respectful way.

1718
02:00:46.920 --> 02:00:49.680
He was truly, some of it was curiosity,

1719
02:00:49.680 --> 02:00:53.840
but I was telling him, like,

1720
02:00:53.840 --> 02:00:55.100
I want my husband to pray for me,

1721
02:00:55.100 --> 02:00:56.340
I want him to read the Bible with me.

1722
02:00:56.340 --> 02:00:59.640
Like I was, I didn't want him thinking like God is saying,

1723
02:00:59.640 --> 02:01:02.680
like he's not good enough or something.

1724
02:01:02.680 --> 02:01:04.800
Like I'm trying to explain like what I'm looking for

1725
02:01:04.800 --> 02:01:07.360
and I did bring up like not being unequally yoked

1726
02:01:07.360 --> 02:01:08.320
at one point.

1727
02:01:09.720 --> 02:01:14.720
Anyways, I ended up forming an emotional bond to him

1728
02:01:18.060 --> 02:01:21.360
and I thought, okay, I'm telling him I can't go out with him

1729
02:01:21.360 --> 02:01:24.800
I'm thinking I'm safe because we're not physically dating,

1730
02:01:24.800 --> 02:01:29.020
but all the conversations and not all of them

1731
02:01:29.020 --> 02:01:30.780
were like heavy and deep about spirituality.

1732
02:01:30.780 --> 02:01:34.260
It's just that that was part of our talking.

1733
02:01:34.260 --> 02:01:35.100
Okay.

1734
02:01:35.100 --> 02:01:36.540
I ended up forming a really, really

1735
02:01:36.540 --> 02:01:39.100
strong emotional bond to him, unfortunately.

1736
02:01:39.100 --> 02:01:43.220
And we kept trying to stop talking to each other

1737
02:01:43.220 --> 02:01:45.420
and then I kept initiating it.

1738
02:01:45.420 --> 02:01:47.940
I kept telling him like, I can't talk to you.

1739
02:01:47.940 --> 02:01:52.940
And at this point it is what has happened

1740
02:01:53.760 --> 02:01:55.360
just to fast forward.

1741
02:01:55.360 --> 02:01:56.200
Okay.

1742
02:01:58.000 --> 02:02:00.480
Between all of the like, I can't talk to you

1743
02:02:00.480 --> 02:02:02.200
but then we keep talking again

1744
02:02:02.200 --> 02:02:05.740
and I ended up saying some like emotional things to him.

1745
02:02:09.120 --> 02:02:11.240
It's gotten to a point now we're in July.

1746
02:02:11.240 --> 02:02:13.360
This started in February.

1747
02:02:13.360 --> 02:02:16.960
He is, he's like detached from me.

1748
02:02:16.960 --> 02:02:19.320
Like he, we ended up having another conversation

1749
02:02:19.320 --> 02:02:22.440
where I explained that we try to be friends

1750
02:02:22.940 --> 02:02:26.940
and I explained that it's still difficult for me

1751
02:02:26.940 --> 02:02:28.780
because I see him romantically still

1752
02:02:28.780 --> 02:02:31.580
because it kind of, it was, it ended up being like romantic

1753
02:02:31.580 --> 02:02:35.860
not inappropriate, but we talked about how we liked

1754
02:02:35.860 --> 02:02:37.660
each other and things like that.

1755
02:02:37.660 --> 02:02:39.140
So there was, there was an emotion,

1756
02:02:39.140 --> 02:02:41.580
like, so you had an emotional intimate moment.

1757
02:02:41.580 --> 02:02:42.420
Yes.

1758
02:02:42.420 --> 02:02:43.260
Yeah.

1759
02:02:43.260 --> 02:02:44.080
Yeah.

1760
02:02:44.080 --> 02:02:45.460
It was very, it was emotionally intimate.

1761
02:02:45.460 --> 02:02:46.300
Yeah.

1762
02:02:46.300 --> 02:02:49.060
And I thought I was safe for a little while.

1763
02:02:49.060 --> 02:02:52.020
And that's what I think, so what I'm hearing a lot of

1764
02:02:52.600 --> 02:02:57.120
and this is what I, so what are, like,

1765
02:02:59.640 --> 02:03:03.800
I'm, is this is what, is this what I'm hearing

1766
02:03:03.800 --> 02:03:05.720
that you're kind of now discouraged

1767
02:03:05.720 --> 02:03:06.800
and you're kind of beating yourself up?

1768
02:03:06.800 --> 02:03:08.680
Is that what I'm hearing?

1769
02:03:08.680 --> 02:03:11.720
Yeah, I feel, well, it's a couple things.

1770
02:03:11.720 --> 02:03:16.720
I feel like, I just, I feel very discouraged.

1771
02:03:16.780 --> 02:03:19.780
I feel like I'm grieving a bond

1772
02:03:19.780 --> 02:03:24.780
that could never go anywhere and it makes me really sad

1773
02:03:28.100 --> 02:03:30.860
because he fits a lot of other things.

1774
02:03:30.860 --> 02:03:32.260
I'm not complaining the faith,

1775
02:03:32.260 --> 02:03:33.380
obviously it's the most important,

1776
02:03:33.380 --> 02:03:37.140
but it's like, he's so respected by all my coworkers,

1777
02:03:37.140 --> 02:03:39.620
including like my Christian coworkers.

1778
02:03:39.620 --> 02:03:44.620
He is like a genuinely good man, honestly,

1779
02:03:44.640 --> 02:03:47.920
as good as you can be without Christ, I'm saying, but.

1780
02:03:47.920 --> 02:03:48.760
Yeah.

1781
02:03:50.140 --> 02:03:53.280
And now, not only am I grieving

1782
02:03:53.280 --> 02:03:55.600
and having to like be working around a man

1783
02:03:55.600 --> 02:03:58.960
that I have to keep telling myself no,

1784
02:03:58.960 --> 02:04:02.440
but I have created this, and he should detach,

1785
02:04:02.440 --> 02:04:04.880
like, he should, like, I shouldn't be upset that he does,

1786
02:04:04.880 --> 02:04:06.300
but it makes me feel like,

1787
02:04:08.440 --> 02:04:11.240
it makes me feel insignificant all of a sudden

1788
02:04:11.240 --> 02:04:13.600
and like, because I'm comparing

1789
02:04:13.620 --> 02:04:16.140
how he interacted with me before to how he is now,

1790
02:04:16.140 --> 02:04:18.980
and I never wanna be around a man who's detaching from me,

1791
02:04:18.980 --> 02:04:23.100
like, that's not what I would ever want to experience,

1792
02:04:23.100 --> 02:04:24.580
and like, now I'm experiencing it,

1793
02:04:24.580 --> 02:04:29.580
and I don't know, it's just so many things.

1794
02:04:29.920 --> 02:04:32.100
And then I also, I don't wanna be a bad witness

1795
02:04:32.100 --> 02:04:37.100
of Christ to him because I've handled this

1796
02:04:37.260 --> 02:04:39.180
in ways that aren't great.

1797
02:04:39.180 --> 02:04:42.800
Like, I mean, I've, when I said some things

1798
02:04:42.800 --> 02:04:45.240
that weren't fair or emotional, I did applaud.

1799
02:04:45.240 --> 02:04:47.040
I'm gonna stop you for just a minute, okay,

1800
02:04:47.040 --> 02:04:48.260
because I wanna show you. Sure.

1801
02:04:48.260 --> 02:04:49.320
Okay? Sure.

1802
02:04:49.320 --> 02:04:50.160
Okay?

1803
02:04:52.280 --> 02:04:53.560
Because you're starting to,

1804
02:04:53.560 --> 02:04:56.520
you're starting to beat yourself up, okay?

1805
02:04:56.520 --> 02:04:59.800
We're gonna stop you right there, all right?

1806
02:04:59.800 --> 02:05:00.640
And so.

1807
02:05:00.000 --> 02:05:04.320
So I'm just going to speak to a couple of things because I want you to just,

1808
02:05:04.320 --> 02:05:06.280
we're going to, we're just going to lower it. Okay.

1809
02:05:06.720 --> 02:05:10.920
So there's some things that are surfacing. Okay. One, um, yeah,

1810
02:05:11.040 --> 02:05:15.360
you're beating yourself up. And so that's a layer that, you know,

1811
02:05:15.360 --> 02:05:18.560
God can be revealing right now. Okay.

1812
02:05:20.320 --> 02:05:24.920
Um, ladies, if this happens,

1813
02:05:25.360 --> 02:05:29.000
I don't want you all to think that this is like,

1814
02:05:29.000 --> 02:05:33.600
you've messed up Nikki. You haven't messed up.

1815
02:05:34.640 --> 02:05:35.480
Okay.

1816
02:05:36.680 --> 02:05:41.200
God can use every situation,

1817
02:05:41.360 --> 02:05:45.320
every moment, every circumstance for you.

1818
02:05:46.720 --> 02:05:47.560
Okay.

1819
02:05:47.960 --> 02:05:52.480
I think there are some good things that God is highlighting

1820
02:05:53.480 --> 02:05:57.960
that you're going to be able to sit and grow in and

1821
02:05:57.960 --> 02:06:02.000
recognize this situation

1822
02:06:03.280 --> 02:06:07.000
does not, is not your identity.

1823
02:06:09.280 --> 02:06:13.720
Okay. So I think that's the first thing. Okay.

1824
02:06:13.720 --> 02:06:16.680
I don't know what you've worked on with Ebony, but you know,

1825
02:06:17.480 --> 02:06:21.160
spend time with the Lord on this identity. I want you to reckon.

1826
02:06:21.280 --> 02:06:25.120
There's a couple of things that I think you're recognizing. Okay. And ladies,

1827
02:06:25.120 --> 02:06:27.920
I think this is great for all of you. Good night ladies.

1828
02:06:27.920 --> 02:06:32.320
I know some of you had to jump off. I know where I want to spend time with Nikki

1829
02:06:32.320 --> 02:06:34.400
here. So we're going to stay on a little bit longer,

1830
02:06:34.560 --> 02:06:37.240
but if you have to jump off, that's totally fine. Um,

1831
02:06:37.240 --> 02:06:40.240
if you can stay on and get something from this is great.

1832
02:06:40.440 --> 02:06:43.920
You can always watch it and replay as well. Um,

1833
02:06:44.440 --> 02:06:46.840
one thing that I think Nikki that you're recognizing,

1834
02:06:46.840 --> 02:06:48.040
and I think it's going to be really,

1835
02:06:48.040 --> 02:06:53.040
really good for a lot of you ladies to recognize is that as the feminine,

1836
02:06:54.080 --> 02:06:58.440
the way that we will connect intimately

1837
02:06:59.200 --> 02:07:03.640
and feel safe and secure is through emotional

1838
02:07:04.200 --> 02:07:08.320
relationship. Okay. Yes. Yes.

1839
02:07:08.640 --> 02:07:12.520
I agree. Roberta. Um, she's saying thank you for being vulnerable. I love it.

1840
02:07:12.560 --> 02:07:16.720
Like ladies, this is where breakthrough comes. And, and Nikki,

1841
02:07:17.200 --> 02:07:18.400
I'm telling you,

1842
02:07:18.640 --> 02:07:23.640
you coming here and sharing this is going to give a lot of other women

1843
02:07:24.200 --> 02:07:27.320
breakthrough too. Okay. Thank you.

1844
02:07:29.160 --> 02:07:34.400
Be gentle with yourself. Okay. So I think you're recognizing, okay,

1845
02:07:34.400 --> 02:07:39.040
you were learning something about yourself in this situation. You're like,

1846
02:07:39.080 --> 02:07:44.080
okay, I struggle with emotionally attaching. Okay.

1847
02:07:44.320 --> 02:07:47.440
I don't think this would have had anything to do with whether or not he was a

1848
02:07:47.440 --> 02:07:48.240
Christian or not,

1849
02:07:48.240 --> 02:07:51.760
whether you knew he was a Christian or not earlier, sooner rather than later,

1850
02:07:52.880 --> 02:07:56.360
you had a lot of, a lot of things kind of working,

1851
02:07:57.480 --> 02:08:01.800
kind of influencing this interaction, right?

1852
02:08:03.480 --> 02:08:08.200
You got people at work kind of fill in your ear. Right.

1853
02:08:09.400 --> 02:08:11.880
And so again,

1854
02:08:12.560 --> 02:08:17.080
this sense of, Oh, I've got to give somebody a try. I've got to, you know,

1855
02:08:17.080 --> 02:08:19.920
see where this is going to go. I got to give someone a chance.

1856
02:08:20.400 --> 02:08:24.640
So I want you to recognize, again,

1857
02:08:24.680 --> 02:08:29.080
I don't think it's a bad thing to say, okay, what could I have done differently?

1858
02:08:30.000 --> 02:08:32.880
But I want you to really sit with that.

1859
02:08:33.520 --> 02:08:38.040
And I want you to go in your heart with that. Because if you're asking yourself,

1860
02:08:38.040 --> 02:08:41.560
what could I do differently? And it's from shame and guilt,

1861
02:08:42.200 --> 02:08:46.560
we need to deal with that. Okay.

1862
02:08:49.160 --> 02:08:51.560
I love asking the questions.

1863
02:08:51.600 --> 02:08:56.160
What could I have done differently when there is no shame and guilt attached to

1864
02:08:56.160 --> 02:08:59.840
it? And it's coming from a growth opportunity.

1865
02:09:00.640 --> 02:09:05.480
And there's grace to sit with the Lord,

1866
02:09:05.920 --> 02:09:09.400
ask him, Lord, show me grace.

1867
02:09:09.480 --> 02:09:12.120
Where can I give myself grace?

1868
02:09:13.880 --> 02:09:16.360
And so I believe

1869
02:09:18.320 --> 02:09:22.680
there were some opportunities where I

1870
02:09:22.680 --> 02:09:25.440
understand why that was difficult, Nikki.

1871
02:09:26.560 --> 02:09:29.760
I think there are several of us on this call,

1872
02:09:29.760 --> 02:09:34.640
myself included and ladies that will hear this in replay that

1873
02:09:34.640 --> 02:09:36.680
can relate and will have,

1874
02:09:36.720 --> 02:09:39.440
would have probably made some of the same choices that you made.

1875
02:09:42.120 --> 02:09:44.760
The thing that I heard that really stuck out to me,

1876
02:09:47.040 --> 02:09:49.160
I got to see where I wrote this down. Okay. It's right here.

1877
02:09:51.320 --> 02:09:54.080
When you've learned, so he picked up

1878
02:09:55.520 --> 02:10:00.080
after that call, you had the intuition of like, okay, this is important.

1879
02:10:00.000 --> 02:10:02.840
I need to have a conversation about it.

1880
02:10:02.840 --> 02:10:10.480
He picked up on that and he knew it was spiritual.

1881
02:10:10.480 --> 02:10:11.480
He did.

1882
02:10:11.480 --> 02:10:12.480
Yeah.

1883
02:10:12.480 --> 02:10:13.480
Okay.

1884
02:10:13.480 --> 02:10:21.520
That right there was like, Ooh, okay.

1885
02:10:21.520 --> 02:10:25.280
And then he says he's agnostic.

1886
02:10:25.280 --> 02:10:42.400
But what then started happening is he showed up in a respectful way, but he wasn't being

1887
02:10:42.400 --> 02:10:43.400
respectful.

1888
02:10:43.400 --> 02:10:49.480
Do you know what I'm kind of pointing to?

1889
02:10:49.480 --> 02:10:53.960
What do you think I might be pointing to?

1890
02:10:53.960 --> 02:11:03.080
Like it would have been more respectful for him to like back off pretty much now that

1891
02:11:03.080 --> 02:11:06.440
he knew like it was a non-negotiable for me.

1892
02:11:06.440 --> 02:11:09.320
That's a boundary.

1893
02:11:09.320 --> 02:11:12.200
He didn't respect that boundary.

1894
02:11:12.200 --> 02:11:15.040
He started pushing.

1895
02:11:15.040 --> 02:11:23.320
He wanted you now to start explaining yourself, having to justify your boundary.

1896
02:11:24.320 --> 02:11:37.960
You do not have to justify your boundaries, especially your conviction of being equally

1897
02:11:37.960 --> 02:11:47.920
yoked and wanting to be with a Jesus loving husband.

1898
02:11:47.920 --> 02:11:57.160
You do not have to defend that to anyone.

1899
02:11:57.160 --> 02:12:00.160
And I'm sure we've all been in this situation.

1900
02:12:00.160 --> 02:12:06.520
I think a majority of us could probably, we probably have a story or two to tell where

1901
02:12:06.520 --> 02:12:16.960
we felt like we've had to defend our faith and our beliefs and why our convictions are

1902
02:12:16.960 --> 02:12:26.760
important to us, to someone that wouldn't understand it.

1903
02:12:26.760 --> 02:12:39.880
And so I think right there, I get it, but now you get to learn from that.

1904
02:12:39.880 --> 02:12:45.760
You get to go to the Lord and be like, Lord, why did I feel like I needed to defend myself

1905
02:12:45.760 --> 02:12:53.560
on something that I know you created me for, that you put that desire in my heart.

1906
02:12:53.560 --> 02:12:54.560
You say it's true.

1907
02:12:54.560 --> 02:12:55.560
And I know it's true.

1908
02:12:55.560 --> 02:13:01.920
And I know you've shown up in my life.

1909
02:13:01.920 --> 02:13:09.240
The enemy is out there to kill, steal, and destroy.

1910
02:13:09.240 --> 02:13:12.080
That will happen.

1911
02:13:12.080 --> 02:13:17.600
We are going to have times where there will be those challenges.

1912
02:13:17.600 --> 02:13:25.280
And so God, or not God, the enemy is going to want to attack your identity.

1913
02:13:25.280 --> 02:13:32.880
So that's why I really wanted to slow you down because I think that's what God wants

1914
02:13:32.880 --> 02:13:39.000
you to sit with, with the boundaries and the identity piece.

1915
02:13:39.000 --> 02:13:41.240
And that's okay.

1916
02:13:41.240 --> 02:13:43.840
We've all been there.

1917
02:13:43.840 --> 02:13:47.240
Some of us will still keep going in that, right?

1918
02:13:47.240 --> 02:13:51.560
There's been a couple of times I've had to like do that, okay?

1919
02:13:51.560 --> 02:13:56.960
Even in my marriage, I had a strong, intimate relationship with the Lord.

1920
02:13:56.960 --> 02:14:02.600
And then I kind of got myself in, you know, spiraling.

1921
02:14:02.600 --> 02:14:08.880
And then I felt very disconnected from God for a little while.

1922
02:14:08.880 --> 02:14:10.600
Because the enemy's coming at me.

1923
02:14:10.600 --> 02:14:12.400
He doesn't like the fact that I'm married.

1924
02:14:12.400 --> 02:14:16.920
He doesn't like that I have a relationship with God and that I'm seeking my identity

1925
02:14:16.920 --> 02:14:19.520
through Christ.

1926
02:14:19.520 --> 02:14:22.600
Right?

1927
02:14:22.600 --> 02:14:26.880
So give yourself grace there.

1928
02:14:26.880 --> 02:14:34.760
And I think you showing up and just being vulnerable with that, don't hold that back.

1929
02:14:34.760 --> 02:14:43.240
Come to the community that you can lean on, where we've got you.

1930
02:14:43.240 --> 02:14:44.240
We get it.

1931
02:14:44.240 --> 02:14:45.240
We understand.

1932
02:14:45.240 --> 02:14:51.040
We don't want you carrying something that's not yours to carry.

1933
02:14:51.040 --> 02:14:52.760
We're here to help you with that.

1934
02:14:52.760 --> 02:14:56.840
We're here to come alongside you.

1935
02:14:56.840 --> 02:14:59.560
And so I don't think this has to be a...

1936
02:15:00.000 --> 02:15:06.160
You know, what did that what could I have done differently beat myself up and I should have guilt and shame

1937
02:15:07.520 --> 02:15:09.160
but uh

1938
02:15:09.160 --> 02:15:11.160
Lord I

1939
02:15:12.400 --> 02:15:15.040
Believe that you're gonna use things

1940
02:15:16.000 --> 02:15:17.480
and

1941
02:15:17.480 --> 02:15:18.800
circumstances

1942
02:15:18.800 --> 02:15:20.800
everything for my good

1943
02:15:21.040 --> 02:15:22.920
And this doesn't feel good

1944
02:15:22.920 --> 02:15:29.900
But Lord, you can use anything that was meant for evil and has been meant to destroy me. You can turn it all for good

1945
02:15:30.960 --> 02:15:35.340
So Lord, I know that to be true because it says it in your word

1946
02:15:36.400 --> 02:15:38.400
And you're not a liar

1947
02:15:39.800 --> 02:15:42.600
But the enemy he's the father of lies

1948
02:15:44.920 --> 02:15:46.920
So I'm not gonna believe

1949
02:15:47.640 --> 02:15:54.680
These lies that I need to have shame and guilt and if I would have known I should have known better. No

1950
02:15:57.240 --> 02:16:00.180
You didn't at the time you didn't know what you didn't know

1951
02:16:01.160 --> 02:16:07.520
But now God's revealing it to you and he's showing you something. He's want to give you some healing

1952
02:16:09.440 --> 02:16:11.440
And so I want you to embrace that

1953
02:16:12.680 --> 02:16:14.680
And say okay

1954
02:16:15.560 --> 02:16:21.160
What what did this guy not respect my boundaries

1955
02:16:22.560 --> 02:16:29.960
And what do you do if someone's not respecting your boundaries, but they're being really pleasant about it y'all

1956
02:16:32.280 --> 02:16:40.160
Some of the worst criminals out there or some of the nicest people

1957
02:16:40.160 --> 02:16:42.400
They will make it feel like it was your fault

1958
02:16:44.400 --> 02:16:48.600
Because they're nice but ladies

1959
02:16:52.760 --> 02:16:54.760
We don't have to be fooled by that

1960
02:16:58.080 --> 02:17:00.080
You get a pray Lord

1961
02:17:00.600 --> 02:17:02.360
Show me

1962
02:17:02.360 --> 02:17:06.520
When someone is not respecting my boundaries

1963
02:17:06.520 --> 02:17:08.520
Bring people in my path

1964
02:17:09.879 --> 02:17:11.879
To help me recognize

1965
02:17:12.400 --> 02:17:14.400
This is not

1966
02:17:14.520 --> 02:17:16.520
honoring my boundaries

1967
02:17:17.040 --> 02:17:23.200
Lord give me the courage to be vulnerable and and and show me and highlight to me

1968
02:17:23.520 --> 02:17:30.200
People that I can lean on and share this information with that are going to be wise counsel for me

1969
02:17:30.280 --> 02:17:36.879
That can help give me that strength that I need in Jesus to recognize

1970
02:17:38.000 --> 02:17:40.000
when someone

1971
02:17:40.000 --> 02:17:43.600
Might be nice. It's not honoring my boundaries

1972
02:17:44.719 --> 02:17:46.719
Because guess what?

1973
02:17:47.240 --> 02:17:50.840
Someone's not honoring your boundaries no matter how nice they sound

1974
02:17:51.799 --> 02:17:53.799
You can be nice to them

1975
02:17:53.799 --> 02:17:57.719
You get to be firm in your boundaries

1976
02:17:58.840 --> 02:18:02.280
Communicating clearly and firmly is being kind

1977
02:18:03.840 --> 02:18:05.840
You want to know who it's being kind to

1978
02:18:07.799 --> 02:18:13.680
You you're allowed to be kind to yourself. You're God's daughter

1979
02:18:16.639 --> 02:18:18.639
Do you know that God doesn't

1980
02:18:18.639 --> 02:18:20.639
Want anyone beating up on his daughter

1981
02:18:21.920 --> 02:18:24.240
Ladies do you know that's in Scripture?

1982
02:18:25.200 --> 02:18:30.480
Husbands are actually supposed to treat their wives well

1983
02:18:33.680 --> 02:18:37.280
Because if they don't guess what God doesn't answer their prayers it says that

1984
02:18:38.160 --> 02:18:44.320
All right. Now does it mean you get married a husband and you don't get married a wife and you don't get married a husband?

1985
02:18:44.559 --> 02:18:49.680
All right, now does it mean you get married a husband that'll do it perfectly no

1986
02:18:50.719 --> 02:18:53.320
Okay, give some grace. All right

1987
02:18:55.000 --> 02:18:57.120
But you're allowed

1988
02:18:59.160 --> 02:19:03.280
To care for yourself you're allowed to be kind to you

1989
02:19:05.240 --> 02:19:07.400
So when you're recognizing you know what

1990
02:19:08.360 --> 02:19:14.840
If he's asking you oh, well, you know, I dated other Christians and you know, they never had a problem with it. Well

1991
02:19:15.959 --> 02:19:17.959
Those are other Christians. Those aren't me

1992
02:19:19.040 --> 02:19:20.719
and

1993
02:19:20.719 --> 02:19:23.040
if you'd like to learn more I

1994
02:19:24.600 --> 02:19:30.480
Suggest maybe researching a few churches and maybe go go give a couple churches a try

1995
02:19:32.440 --> 02:19:34.559
You don't have to be the one to explain it to him

1996
02:19:35.200 --> 02:19:42.719
Say you know that I can understand why that might not make sense to you and that's okay if you'd like to learn more

1997
02:19:45.120 --> 02:19:48.480
You might try to attend a couple churches in the area

1998
02:19:49.680 --> 02:19:51.920
Don't don't give him an invitation to your church

1999
02:19:52.800 --> 02:19:55.840
Okay, ladies. Don't don't tell him to come to your church

2000
02:19:56.400 --> 02:19:58.400
All right

2001
02:19:58.400 --> 02:20:00.880
You

2002
02:20:00.000 --> 02:20:07.840
But you can just say, hey, I get why you don't understand.

2003
02:20:07.840 --> 02:20:10.000
It's also not my responsibility to have

2004
02:20:10.000 --> 02:20:14.000
to communicate that to you.

2005
02:20:14.000 --> 02:20:16.200
I'm convicted.

2006
02:20:16.200 --> 02:20:19.480
It's important to me.

2007
02:20:19.480 --> 02:20:25.840
And if you're not going to respect that boundary,

2008
02:20:25.840 --> 02:20:29.480
then I'm going to have to do other measures.

2009
02:20:32.480 --> 02:20:35.400
I mean, the only thing, I mean, it

2010
02:20:35.400 --> 02:20:37.040
could have gotten to a point where you'd be like,

2011
02:20:37.040 --> 02:20:38.360
I'm going to need to go to HR.

2012
02:20:38.360 --> 02:20:39.560
And I'm going to have to file harassment

2013
02:20:39.560 --> 02:20:43.000
because you won't leave me alone.

2014
02:20:43.000 --> 02:20:44.920
God's got you.

2015
02:20:44.920 --> 02:20:46.920
And I know there's fear coming up.

2016
02:20:46.920 --> 02:20:49.040
What's everybody else going to say?

2017
02:20:49.040 --> 02:20:51.520
Everyone's talking good about him.

2018
02:20:51.520 --> 02:20:52.840
But guess what?

2019
02:20:52.840 --> 02:20:57.720
Well, the thing is that by the time we had that conversation,

2020
02:20:57.720 --> 02:20:59.640
we were already getting along really well.

2021
02:20:59.640 --> 02:21:04.680
And so I think that he genuinely, this is not,

2022
02:21:04.680 --> 02:21:06.680
I do think he wasn't respecting my boundary.

2023
02:21:06.680 --> 02:21:08.160
I'm not taking up for him on that.

2024
02:21:08.160 --> 02:21:11.360
But I do think he was genuinely sensing

2025
02:21:11.360 --> 02:21:12.720
a connection between us.

2026
02:21:12.720 --> 02:21:18.240
And he can have good intentions.

2027
02:21:18.240 --> 02:21:20.840
And that doesn't make him a bad person.

2028
02:21:21.240 --> 02:21:22.760
Just because this, I'm not even going

2029
02:21:22.760 --> 02:21:26.520
to say this guy's a bad guy.

2030
02:21:26.520 --> 02:21:33.120
Quite frankly, he might one day have an amazing relationship

2031
02:21:33.120 --> 02:21:34.360
with Jesus.

2032
02:21:34.360 --> 02:21:36.600
He might have an amazing super encounter with the Lord

2033
02:21:36.600 --> 02:21:40.760
and become this Jesus-loving, wonderful dude.

2034
02:21:40.760 --> 02:21:41.920
We don't know that.

2035
02:21:41.920 --> 02:21:43.880
It's not our responsibility to know that.

2036
02:21:43.880 --> 02:21:49.200
I'm not saying that he was not a good guy.

2037
02:21:49.200 --> 02:21:54.240
But I want you to honor yourself,

2038
02:21:54.240 --> 02:21:59.240
have grace for yourself, care enough for yourself,

2039
02:21:59.240 --> 02:22:02.840
and recognize, how do I feel about myself?

2040
02:22:05.800 --> 02:22:08.560
How do I want people to treat me?

2041
02:22:08.560 --> 02:22:10.240
And yes, they're being nice to me.

2042
02:22:10.240 --> 02:22:16.800
But what's important to me, someone

2043
02:22:16.800 --> 02:22:22.440
is going to also honor that as well.

2044
02:22:22.440 --> 02:22:23.680
And this is important.

2045
02:22:23.680 --> 02:22:24.880
And that's another thing.

2046
02:22:24.880 --> 02:22:27.280
You're also recognizing maybe you

2047
02:22:27.280 --> 02:22:34.360
didn't realize exactly how easily emotionally attached

2048
02:22:34.360 --> 02:22:36.680
you would get.

2049
02:22:36.680 --> 02:22:38.560
Now you know a little more about yourself.

2050
02:22:38.560 --> 02:22:41.240
This is discovery dating too.

2051
02:22:41.240 --> 02:22:45.640
You're recognizing, OK, I really connect

2052
02:22:45.640 --> 02:22:48.680
to someone on such an emotional level.

2053
02:22:48.680 --> 02:22:54.280
I need to guard that more diligently.

2054
02:22:54.280 --> 02:22:57.680
Not that I have to be suspicious.

2055
02:22:57.680 --> 02:23:01.400
I just need to walk in some discernment and some wisdom

2056
02:23:01.400 --> 02:23:02.000
here.

2057
02:23:02.000 --> 02:23:05.040
I need to pace things a little slower.

2058
02:23:05.040 --> 02:23:09.040
I need to really pause and gather more information

2059
02:23:09.040 --> 02:23:13.360
before I allow myself to cross those emotional lines.

2060
02:23:15.720 --> 02:23:17.520
Those are things you get to learn from.

2061
02:23:17.520 --> 02:23:21.200
And you don't have to beat yourself up for that.

2062
02:23:21.200 --> 02:23:25.120
This is all a learning opportunity.

2063
02:23:25.120 --> 02:23:28.480
OK, and this is not something that you just poof overnight

2064
02:23:28.480 --> 02:23:31.840
it happens, OK?

2065
02:23:31.840 --> 02:23:36.760
You're going to have the ups and downs of it, OK?

2066
02:23:36.760 --> 02:23:40.400
Are you planning to do another one-on-one with Ebony?

2067
02:23:40.400 --> 02:23:41.200
Yeah, yeah.

2068
02:23:41.200 --> 02:23:43.880
OK.

2069
02:23:43.880 --> 02:23:45.800
Do you want me to share some of this with her

2070
02:23:45.800 --> 02:23:48.400
or have her touch base so that she's

2071
02:23:48.400 --> 02:23:52.200
got a heads up for when you guys do a one-on-one?

2072
02:23:52.200 --> 02:23:54.200
Sure, if you have the chance.

2073
02:23:54.200 --> 02:23:55.520
Yeah, if you have the chance.

2074
02:23:55.520 --> 02:23:56.960
And if not, I understand.

2075
02:23:56.960 --> 02:23:58.640
I can tell as well.

2076
02:23:58.640 --> 02:24:00.880
Thank you.

2077
02:24:00.880 --> 02:24:03.240
But yeah, I want just sit with that.

2078
02:24:03.240 --> 02:24:04.760
And then when you book, obviously

2079
02:24:04.760 --> 02:24:06.000
you'll do the intake form.

2080
02:24:06.000 --> 02:24:10.120
And you can clue her in a little more about some things

2081
02:24:10.120 --> 02:24:13.240
that God's revealing to you as well.

2082
02:24:13.240 --> 02:24:14.800
She does know about him.

2083
02:24:14.800 --> 02:24:15.920
OK, good.

2084
02:24:15.920 --> 02:24:20.040
Yeah, I outlined the whole thing from February to July

2085
02:24:20.040 --> 02:24:21.720
on the intake for the first one.

2086
02:24:21.720 --> 02:24:23.280
We just didn't talk about him as much

2087
02:24:23.280 --> 02:24:26.160
because we ended up getting into some deeper stuff.

2088
02:24:26.160 --> 02:24:28.160
Did any of that, and you don't have to tell me

2089
02:24:28.160 --> 02:24:31.280
and you don't have to share, but did any of the deeper stuff,

2090
02:24:31.280 --> 02:24:33.800
did it have anything to do with identity and boundaries?

2091
02:24:33.800 --> 02:24:40.840
And yeah, it had to do with identity and shame.

2092
02:24:40.840 --> 02:24:41.480
There we go.

2093
02:24:41.480 --> 02:24:43.080
And self-hate.

2094
02:24:43.800 --> 02:24:44.320
That's good.

2095
02:24:44.320 --> 02:24:44.960
Yeah.

2096
02:24:44.960 --> 02:24:46.200
See?

2097
02:24:46.200 --> 02:24:46.760
Yeah.

2098
02:24:46.760 --> 02:24:47.640
So she's on it.

2099
02:24:47.640 --> 02:24:49.360
She knows.

2100
02:24:49.360 --> 02:24:51.440
And so when you meet with her next,

2101
02:24:51.440 --> 02:24:54.880
if you're going to do that, you share that with her

2102
02:24:54.880 --> 02:24:57.800
and just say, hey, this situation, I recognize this.

2103
02:24:57.800 --> 02:25:00.920
And my pattern.

2104
02:25:00.000 --> 02:25:07.120
of self-hatred and my identity and all these things and really did come up and

2105
02:25:07.120 --> 02:25:12.160
you know on that Tuesday night call there were some things that were brought

2106
02:25:12.160 --> 02:25:16.080
up and you know sit with the Lord with that tonight and see you know what what

2107
02:25:16.080 --> 02:25:20.720
spoke to you what's resonating with you what are you have questions about and

2108
02:25:20.720 --> 02:25:26.120
those are things that you know I'm you can unpack with her and ladies I say

2109
02:25:26.120 --> 02:25:31.880
this to all of you don't just rely on us coaches to be your source we're not

2110
02:25:31.880 --> 02:25:40.920
your source we're a resource go to God get in the word get in his word spend

2111
02:25:40.920 --> 02:25:52.200
time with him okay that alone will do wonders okay

2112
02:25:52.200 --> 02:26:01.600
Nikki thank you so much for sharing that I just know that so many ladies

2113
02:26:01.600 --> 02:26:10.480
probably felt right on that same page where you're at I know I did because I

2114
02:26:10.480 --> 02:26:16.160
would have totally I would have been putty in that so you're not the only

2115
02:26:16.160 --> 02:26:21.760
one that would have done that like kept the phone conversations yeah and you

2116
02:26:22.120 --> 02:26:26.000
me personally why I would have done it and I'm not saying that this is why you

2117
02:26:26.000 --> 02:26:34.880
did it why I would have done it because I know myself because getting attention

2118
02:26:34.880 --> 02:26:42.280
especially if he's cute what made me feel better feel like I was yeah yeah

2119
02:26:42.280 --> 02:26:49.440
he was he was paying attention to me in a way that was very intentional it wasn't

2120
02:26:49.440 --> 02:26:54.040
it didn't feel superficial and it was yeah there was a lot of that and and I

2121
02:26:54.040 --> 02:26:59.000
we didn't talk about anything inappropriate but I did encourage some

2122
02:26:59.000 --> 02:27:04.040
of the connection you know I can't put it all on him he initiated and I tried

2123
02:27:04.040 --> 02:27:08.680
to do the breaks but my boundary was flimsy like it didn't take very much for

2124
02:27:08.680 --> 02:27:16.520
him to push it over you know like yeah yeah like now you you just get to walk

2125
02:27:16.520 --> 02:27:22.000
in that practice and you recognize okay I got us I got it you know I'm someone

2126
02:27:22.000 --> 02:27:27.760
that has I'm one of those people that you know doesn't really have a fence

2127
02:27:27.760 --> 02:27:32.920
yeah once there's a bond it's hard like I would have needed I would have needed

2128
02:27:32.920 --> 02:27:37.720
to cut it off a lot earlier yeah to not have that attachment yeah and so and

2129
02:27:37.720 --> 02:27:40.880
those are things that you just start learning like what is it that you know

2130
02:27:40.880 --> 02:27:45.000
you you get better at understanding like what questions you need to ask in and

2131
02:27:45.040 --> 02:27:50.000
what things you're looking for you go in and you'll start praying more

2132
02:27:50.000 --> 02:27:54.320
specifically and you'll see like God's showing up in certain things and again

2133
02:27:54.320 --> 02:28:00.320
ladies I I won I just really appreciate all of you staying on the call because I

2134
02:28:00.320 --> 02:28:11.400
know it's late I'm going like way over so my apologies but it's really easy for

2135
02:28:11.400 --> 02:28:17.160
us to just kind of get in that I don't even know what I'm saying here but

2136
02:28:17.160 --> 02:28:25.440
anyway I just drew a blank but yeah like I don't want y'all to get so hard on

2137
02:28:25.440 --> 02:28:34.360
yourselves about that it really you get to put this into practice now all right

2138
02:28:34.360 --> 02:28:39.600
you you recognize okay I got some areas that I need to work on and it is

2139
02:28:39.600 --> 02:28:46.560
boundaries and so guess what ask the Lord to give you some opportunity to

2140
02:28:46.560 --> 02:28:54.680
work on your boundaries and be in community that's what I was gonna say

2141
02:28:54.680 --> 02:29:03.080
ladies I cannot stress enough utilize this community and utilize what you have

2142
02:29:03.080 --> 02:29:12.600
here and all of us coaches write the books in the app all right book the one

2143
02:29:12.600 --> 02:29:21.840
on ones if you need to all right we are here to walk alongside you in this we do

2144
02:29:21.840 --> 02:29:28.960
it because I mean I know I do is because I've been there and I was blessed

2145
02:29:28.960 --> 02:29:34.480
because I had this community and so many people faithfully showed up for me

2146
02:29:34.480 --> 02:29:39.400
and loved on me and cared about me and God used people in this community to

2147
02:29:39.400 --> 02:29:51.480
pour into me and so what else would I do besides do that back for all of you like

2148
02:29:51.480 --> 02:30:00.040
I have like that's my heart that's how I that's how I humble myself and show my gratitude

2149
02:30:00.000 --> 02:30:11.560
food for what God's done because I don't want any of you ladies to have to walk through

2150
02:30:11.560 --> 02:30:15.720
what you've walked through any longer than you have to.

2151
02:30:15.720 --> 02:30:23.000
Okay, but ladies, all right, I'm going to jump off here.

2152
02:30:23.000 --> 02:30:25.440
Thanks for sticking with us.

2153
02:30:25.440 --> 02:30:26.440
Absolutely.

2154
02:30:26.440 --> 02:30:32.160
But ladies, typically I pray us out, we're an hour over.

2155
02:30:32.160 --> 02:30:36.840
So Lord, teach us, show us, heal us, grow us, all right?

2156
02:30:36.840 --> 02:30:38.280
In Jesus name, amen.

2157
02:30:38.280 --> 02:30:39.280
Good night.

2158
02:30:39.280 --> 02:30:40.280
Have a great Tuesday.

2159
02:30:40.280 --> 02:30:41.280
We'll talk to you again.

2160
02:30:41.280 --> 02:30:42.280
Bye.

2161
02:30:42.280 --> 02:30:42.280