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There we go, all right, welcome ladies, it's so good to have you here.

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It's July 28th, it's actually my oldest son's 17th birthday, I cannot believe I have a 17

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year old.

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So happy birthday to my 17 year old, he's my bonus kid, so, but he's mine, he's all

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mine.

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Yeah, it's July 28th, and so it is Love Story Accelerator, it's phase two, it is our live

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coaching call, the 1pm Eastern session, I'm Karla Johnson, I'm one of your coaches here

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at Last Year's Singles, if you haven't met me before, welcome, all right, I feel like

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I kind of always give this little overview of who I am, so I don't want to take too

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much time here, but I am a success story from Jackie's community here at Last Year's Singles,

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I've been with her since 2020, was a student of hers as a single, met my husband, had the

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privilege and honor of being asked to coach here, so I've been coaching for now almost,

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it's been over two and a half, almost three years, and so it's been an awesome journey

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to be able to pour back into this community, I think I say that every week, and it's definitely,

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like I mean it, because it's just incredible to be part of this movement that Jackie's

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obedient to, and David's obedient to, and just even all of you, all of you being obedient

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to what God is calling you to do, and showing up, and stretching yourself, and you know

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doing the hard work, because that takes participation, and that takes stretching, and that takes

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surrender, and there are some days like it's not always easy, okay, and I know this because

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I've walked it, you know, just like you all are, and so that's why this community is very

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dear to my heart, and it's why I just I'm very blessed, and very humbled to get to walk this

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journey with you ladies, so I appreciate y'all letting me be part of that process, so I won't go

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too much into our theme today before, I will get into that shortly, but really wanted to discuss

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some hope and discernment today, I really felt a tug since really the beginning of last week

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that was being highlighted to me, and so I just really kept feeling that press to go there,

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so that's kind of where I'm hoping this call will lead today, and that's where the coaching

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content will hopefully come from, but if you weren't on earlier, my technology was not being

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kind to me today, so I'm definitely relying on a lot of Holy Spirit today, but I always like to have

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my outline and my notes, because y'all know I can talk, and my time can go really long, and so that

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is always one thing I'm always trying to get better at, and so I felt like I was going to do that today,

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and then everything happened, but I'm like nope, it's still going to happen today, outline,

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perfected or not, so I appreciate your grace with me here, so just a couple housekeeping

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things, I don't think I have any brand new ladies on, do I? I don't see anybody, I see Lisa, she's

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joined us, and she's on camera, thank you, Gugu, she's here, good, because I just responded to you, I don't

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know if you saw that, and then Audrey as well, all right, well if you're watching in replay,

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we definitely want to welcome you if you're brand new, again I kind of just gave you a little bit

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of introduction of myself, make sure that you're going through our resource tab and everything

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like that, but definitely make sure you can get through these live calls, or at least make sure

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you're watching in the replay, it's always really helpful, make sure that you're watching our content,

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our teaching content as well, we don't want to really rush you through phase two, I know

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when we get here, we kind of are at this point, we're like, well what do I do? It's not 100%

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set up like phase one, where it had a book that went with it, where you felt like it was kind of like

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sectioned off in a way, but it is very similar, so phase one is where you're going along with

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the heart work material, you're processing and learning all that information, and you're doing

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a lot of that inner healing, okay, and so you're just learning what that looks like.

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All right, and walking it out in your heart.

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OK, that's foundational.

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That's important.

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OK, there's a reason we put you in heartwork first.

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And we tell you, don't date yet, OK?

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And so once you feel confident in that heartwork piece

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and you feel like, OK, I have an understanding of what

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heartwork is, I've done some inner healing,

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and God has highlighted to me some areas

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that I need to work on.

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Now I'm ready to go into phase two.

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And now I'm going to really apply everything

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I've learned in phase one to realize situations.

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So while we have content and videos,

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we want you watching one a week, we

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bring you into this phase to kind of transition you slowly.

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We want you to have a very good foundation of utilizing

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what you learned in phase one.

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Now that you're going to use it not just for your heart,

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but how are you going to interact with others?

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And ladies, this isn't just in dating.

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I tell a lot of my ladies, you don't

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have to rush into dating in this phase.

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Some ladies are excited, and they're like, yes,

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I get to date now.

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And they're diving off the high dive into the deep end.

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They're ready to go.

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Some of us, myself included, was like, where's the kiddie pool?

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Can I just put my toe in?

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That's what I needed to do, OK?

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And God has a journey for all of you.

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And so I just want to make sure that you're not missing out

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on something valuable in phase two, OK?

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Phase two, I will strongly encourage,

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do not move out of phase two within five to six weeks.

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Stay here at least five to six weeks

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and start putting things into practice.

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I do have ladies that stay here longer,

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and that is totally fine.

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Some ladies want a little bit more of a,

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they want to feel like they've got a little more support,

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that they're able to walk this out more effectively

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once they get to phase three.

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Because phase three is going to be much bigger.

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And yes, it's going to have a bigger community.

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It's going to have the men and the women.

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There's going to be all sorts of things there,

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which is all great.

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You're going to get lots of great things in phase three.

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But keep in mind, phase three is always going to be there.

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And it's really important that you don't rush through phase

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one and you don't rush through phase two,

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because we don't typically allow people to move back.

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And we have people that ask to move back,

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and sometimes they've made exceptions.

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But they're really trying to get better

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at not having to do that.

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And so that's why I want to strongly encourage,

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utilize this phase.

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It's a bit of a smaller community.

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And you've got myself and Ebony walking through applying

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these hard work principles in all sorts of relationship

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situations, whether it's dating, whether it's work,

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whether it's family, whether it's your kids,

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whether anything.

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Because when you start applying it to your real life

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and walking it out, God is going to start revealing

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more areas of hard work that are going to surface.

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And so we want to make sure that you have that support.

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And so if we throw you into phase three too soon,

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you might not get their support there,

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but you also have a bigger community.

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And so sometimes what happens is then

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you have people that have been in there for years.

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And again, just because we've all been through hard work,

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everybody translates hard work a little bit differently.

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Everybody's on a different journey with their hard work.

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There are still some people, myself included at times,

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where my hard work, I still need a little work on.

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And so I could be looking through a completely different

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lens, and that can inhibit how I look at situations.

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That's why we have a couple coaches in each phase

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and why we really want to focus on the coaches

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leading the coaching questions,

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where you ladies that are the members are giving encouragement.

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And so when we have a bigger phase,

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like phase three with hundreds more people,

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sometimes that can create a little bit of an unsettling.

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if you haven't spent enough time in phase one and two.

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Okay.

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Our encouragement is no, no,

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like the minimum is being five to six weeks in phase two.

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Okay.

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All right.

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I feel like I've talked myself out of that one.

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All right.

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I don't really have any announcements at the moment.

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I think I just kind of went over like what helps us serve,

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like what helps serve, serve this community well.

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Again, if we miss one of your posts or your comments,

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create a new post and tag us in it.

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If we've coached you in your post and you replied to us,

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that actually helps us know that you saw it.

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Okay.

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Cause I will go click through,

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especially right before my Tuesday call.

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So like Monday night or Tuesday morning,

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I go and click on all the posts from the week

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just to make sure that no one has added anything

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and that I missed anything.

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Now things can sometimes get overlooked.

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Okay.

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I'm human.

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So if you've been waiting for a reply,

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please, please, please don't hesitate.

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One-on-one coaching,

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make sure you're just checking out that resource tab.

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If you want to set up a,

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do you want to purchase an extra private

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50-minute coaching session with one of our coaches?

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That information is in the resource tab.

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When we open the floor up for live coaching today,

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I think I've shared this last week and the week before.

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If I didn't get to your question last week,

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I want to make sure that I get to your question this week.

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I also know there were a couple ladies

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that I was on the app today

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that I was asking if they're here

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or if they're going to be here,

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let me know because I do want to unpack some things

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with those ladies.

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So if that was you, I think Gugu was one of them.

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I think Tracy, you might've been one.

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So if that was you,

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please go ahead and notify me in the chat

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so that I see that because you are the ladies

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that I want to make sure we get first.

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And then again, we'll try to make sure

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that I get through this content quickly

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so that we have a lot of time

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to be able to unpack a lot of questions today.

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And then I think the last couple weeks,

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this has actually been really helpful for me.

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If I could get a volunteer just to keep an eye on that chat

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so that I can do my best to stay on task.

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So do I have a volunteer that will help make sure

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that I'm not missing anyone's important question

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because I know some ladies are working

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and can't always unmute

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or maybe there's some like technical difficulty.

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They don't know how to raise their avatar hand.

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They don't know how to do something on Zoom.

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So if you're helping watch that,

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that's gonna be really, really helpful for me.

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So if anyone is able to do that,

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I would greatly appreciate that.

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Don't everybody volunteer at once?

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It's such a smaller group.

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I know it's just that time of day, I get it.

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But if you happen to recognize it,

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please, please, please don't hesitate to interrupt me

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and be like, hey, Carla,

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there's lots going on in the chat.

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Don't want you to miss it.

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Okay, let me go ahead and open us up in prayer

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and we will get started.

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So Heavenly Father,

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I just thank you for bringing us together again.

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Lord, we are leaning on your Holy Spirit

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to be present on this call today.

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Lord, I ask that you just quiet any distraction

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and just us to become very aware of your presence.

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Help us to hear what it is that you want us to hear.

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Lord, give us the humility to receive what it is

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that you want us to receive.

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The courage to obey those things

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and just again, just the wisdom to recognize

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what you want to invite each and every single person

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on this call to.

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We all are on different journeys,

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but you can speak to each individual heart.

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And so I ask that that presence be felt.

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Lord, I thank you for the opportunity

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of being your vessel.

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Lord, help me steward that well.

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Help me serve you well.

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And as always, just thank you for that opportunity.

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It allows me just to continue to show my gratitude

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and offer my.

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Thanks for all that you've done in me through this program and through so many

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of the people in this community. And I thank you for that. So Lord, I just ask that you guide our

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conversations and just allow every woman to hear everything that they need to hear.

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And so teach us, show us, heal us, and grow us in Jesus name. Amen. Okay, we're going to celebrate

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a little bit today. I am going to try to shorten this section because I did realize after the last

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couple of weeks, I feel like that's where a majority of my time was being spent. And I would

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look up and like, I've got to crush all this teaching. And I've spent all this time in this

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celebrating the community, which I love. That's kind of one of the things I absolutely... Thank

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you, Peggy. One of the things that is really on my heart, I really feel like that's important

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that builds this community is that encouragement, is that celebration, is that

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it helps us keep our eyes looking upwards. So that's always important to me. So

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before we jump into the coaching, I definitely want to celebrate what I'm seeing

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happen in the community. Because that is one of my favorite parts of preparing

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for these calls, is reading through all of your posts. Because I actually get to witness

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heartwork actually taking place and becoming part of your everyday life.

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It moves past just watching it on a video, but seeing how it shows up in your life.

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Like I see the actual transformation. And so that's really special to me. And I really

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love being able to celebrate that with you ladies. I think it's helpful for you all to be

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able to celebrate each other with that as well. So you're not learning the information anymore.

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You're just learning to live it, right? You're learning to show up differently. Because you've

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had the heartwork, now you're applying it with the real situations, the real conversations,

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the real decisions, okay? Like the real life stuff, okay? Like the things that it's like as

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much as we're like, we're not going to do this again. And it's like, oh, guess what? I'm doing

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it again. Help me out here. And so I really, really, really like that part of preparing

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for this call. And so I like to really make sure that we take time and do that. So there

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were a couple stories, especially this week, that stood out to me. And so that's kind of where I'm

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going to try to keep my focus on the celebrating so that we can move through quickly. I don't see

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Lucy on the call, but if you had a moment to look at her post, I really appreciated her willingness

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to share with us her process and her update because we got to see her approach discovery dating

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with a lot of openness, with a lot of discernment. And one thing that I pulled from it that I thought

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was a really good celebration and a good reminder for our community is that when y'all are meeting

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people, it's very easy for us to get this tunnel vision of we're searching for someone who

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follows Jesus, someone that doesn't have unhealthy patterns that are not toxic,

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right? We want the certainty that that's what we're not getting into, right? And so sometimes

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we think if their resume looks good, then that releases us from having to walk some of the pieces

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of discovery dating out. And so I think when she shared what situation she was facing this week,

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it was a really good reminder. And so I really want to celebrate that. And I really want us to,

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I want to celebrate that. And then I want to kind of just touch on that briefly. So

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just because someone has a testimony or biblical knowledge, and they can quote scripture,

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that they may have a relationship with Jesus. There's a lot of people, and I know this,

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this happened to me is that when Jackie opened this community up to men, because I was here in

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2020, it was just women. And then she invited men in to this community. Like I thought, perfect.

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I don't have to look far. I get to meet someone that already knows

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this. And we do have success stories that were matched in this community. It's not

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that it's impossible, but it's also a good reminder that just because someone

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has walked through heartwork in our program doesn't remove the invitation to

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practice discovery dating. We still want to continue to gather

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information. Like every relationship, every dating situation, I want you to

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practice that discovery dating. I want you to use discernment. I want you to

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learn to trust God to lead more than just assumptions because that will get

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clouded if we're like, I don't have to worry because they've already done

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heartwork. Ladies, I think we all can sit and reflect and look at the mirror. We've

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all been through heartwork. Does it mean that we don't have yellow flags? Okay, so

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just because we have, you know, a community where yes, there are men here,

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it doesn't mean it's going to make the process any easier. You still have to

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follow the process, okay? There is always a process for the promise and so we

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don't want you to get distracted by that. And so I really appreciated how Lucy

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showed up with a guy that she said, she said he he's been through last year's

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single before. And she was discerning and gathering information and she was

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like really checking on like how he was showing up and how it was making her

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feel. And I was really thankful that she was able to communicate that to us

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because that was really helpful for me to be able to then coach her and ease

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her mind. And so I want you ladies, if you haven't seen her post, please go and

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check that out, okay? Another one that I recognize and I don't know if she's on

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either, Nancy. Nancy had a great great post this week. She got introduced to a

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gentleman to date. At first she was like, I don't know if he is Mormon or not. And

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so maybe she's kind of like not as hopeful, but she still kept an open heart

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and went on the date. And still was like, and then once she realized that he

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wasn't, there was that hope that came back. But she didn't let the hope

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completely blind discernment. She was then able to gather information, use

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discernment. She used her voice and was able to communicate some boundaries and

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then share with me some things that actually led me to to coach some extra

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questions, which what I wanted to kind of help her. Let's, okay, you're gathering

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this information. Let's see what this is helping you discern. And so I was able to

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ask her more questions and I think I'm still waiting on her to reply to that. So

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Nancy, if you see this, go back and revisit that. Make sure I want to make

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sure that you saw that response. And if you have any questions, just let me know.

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Amy, she also stepped out. She came out of hiding. Like she really took on, like

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if you heard Jackie's Supernatural Saturday, that covering that God gives us.

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And like she learned to trust that covering. Okay. She had a guy come over, I

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think like, I don't know if it was like for cable or plumbing or something, like

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some, some worker. And I think he was talking about like the Bible or

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scripture. And she was just like, Hey, you know, anybody that, you know, is

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single and is, you know, she just put it out there and she trusted God's covering

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and she was able to embrace it instead of like shrinking back when she found out

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like he was actually married. And so I really loved how she like didn't allow

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that to make her lose hope. Like she didn't let that turn the hope off. She

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discerned something, but it was like, okay, this isn't my guy, but I'm not

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going to let that like completely diminish all hope. It just, now I get to

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use the information to redirect my hope. And then Amanda and Kaylee both were

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doing some amazing work this week and sharing.

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in the app with us with several posts.

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So when I was looking through all of the posts,

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I couldn't help but spend time with the Lord

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and sense this invitation and this question of

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what if God, what if trusting God's covering

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changes the way we practice both hope and discernment?

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Like I said, I really felt God press on this idea

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of hope and discernment.

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And so that's really what I want to talk about today.

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So one thing that I want, like one thing that,

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one thought that I kept going back to,

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it's just a simple thought

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and you might want to write this down.

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It's going to be repetitive.

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I can also include it in my notes.

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I'm sure I will.

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Um, hope keeps your heart open.

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Hope keeps your heart open.

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Discernment keeps your eyes open.

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And yeah, our heart, which is,

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we're keeping our heart open, which is the hope.

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Our heart doesn't have to blind us and blind our eyes.

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Okay.

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They're not working against each other.

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They're actually working together.

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So that when you work, when they work together,

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it actually allows for us to really lean on

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that certainty actually belongs to God,

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which is what we've shared over the last couple of weeks.

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I think it was a couple of weeks ago.

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We really talked heavy about, you know, the certainty.

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Are we wanting, you know,

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certainty or we want clarification?

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Are we trying to control an outcome?

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Are we surrendering that to God?

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And so I want us to make sure that if we're incorporating

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and practicing hope and discernment

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and not having them compete with each other,

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but actually partner with each other,

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it's a little bit less overwhelming

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to release the certainty and outcome to God.

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Okay.

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So they're not on opposite sides of the room

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where you have to like choose one or the other.

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We actually want to combine both of them

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because if I'm hopeful and I'm only picking up hope,

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then you might be overlooking something.

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Well, I'm going to remain hopeful

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so I can't look at discernment.

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I can't gather information

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because then the information might tell me something

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that I wasn't hoping for.

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Okay.

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And so I'm going to get ready and go into that

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in a minute about really where we need to make sure

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that we're defining hope correctly.

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And so if we're only focusing on hope,

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it could actually make us overlook something

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that discernment might actually help us with.

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And then if we're only looking at discernment

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and all the information,

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we might not actually be allowing ourselves to be hopeful.

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That's easy to have, like that can happen.

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So again, they're never designed to compete.

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They're actually designed to work together.

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So let's talk about hope real quick.

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This is about biblical hope, not wishful thinking,

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not the fantasizing.

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I want to make sure that we get that really clear

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and that we're not confusing it.

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I was notorious for that.

397
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I was a fantasize, like I would fantasize whatever,

398
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like I was hopeful of what it would look like.

399
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So then when it didn't look the way

400
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that I thought it would look,

401
00:29:27.280 --> 00:29:31.720
or I hoped it would look because it was wishful thinking

402
00:29:31.720 --> 00:29:33.440
and it was fantasy,

403
00:29:36.000 --> 00:29:40.320
I then wasn't actually partnering with discernment,

404
00:29:41.480 --> 00:29:43.200
which would actually help build my hope.

405
00:29:43.200 --> 00:29:45.400
Instead, it was like diminishing it.

406
00:29:51.120 --> 00:29:52.840
Eloise, I'm checking your...

407
00:29:58.120 --> 00:29:59.520
Okay.

408
00:29:59.520 --> 00:30:00.360
Let's...

409
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Let me take your question at the end of the teaching.

410
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I don't want to lose that, okay?

411
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But I also want us to get through, because we're at 12...

412
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Well, it's 12.32 my time. It's 1.32 Eastern.

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Okay, so hope isn't pretending everything is okay.

414
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It's also not overlooking concerns, okay?

415
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You can still be hopeful, and there could still be yellow flags.

416
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Or you could see how things are not looking the way that, you know...

417
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Like, it's not about having everything look the way that you hope it would look.

418
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It's actually learning to hope that God has got this.

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Does that make sense?

420
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So, biblical hope is confident expectation in the character and faithfulness of God.

421
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Not the wishful thinking, not the fantasy.

422
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Hope is going to remind you that God is still writing your story.

423
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He's the author of your love story,

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which is one of those key things that we really talk about here at Last Year Single.

425
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Like, release the pen, surrender the pen.

426
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God's writing your love story, right?

427
00:31:16.680 --> 00:31:19.400
He's the author.

428
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That's what our hope gets rooted in, okay?

429
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And otherwise, if it's rooted in all that fantasy and the wishful thinking,

430
00:31:33.080 --> 00:31:39.720
then it could turn into being cynical, and then it could keep our hearts guarded.

431
00:31:39.720 --> 00:31:44.000
And so, if we're remaining hopeful in God's character,

432
00:31:44.000 --> 00:31:49.320
and that he's still writing our story, we're not going to be cynical.

433
00:31:49.320 --> 00:31:55.120
Our heart is now going to soften instead of being guarded,

434
00:31:55.120 --> 00:31:59.120
which is going to protect what you ladies have been working on in phase one,

435
00:31:59.120 --> 00:32:00.480
in that heart work.

436
00:32:00.480 --> 00:32:03.280
And it's going to continue to keep working through heart work,

437
00:32:03.280 --> 00:32:08.160
because that doesn't stop, okay?

438
00:32:08.160 --> 00:32:11.800
So, remember, hope keeps my heart open.

439
00:32:11.800 --> 00:32:14.920
So, now let's talk about discernment,

440
00:32:14.920 --> 00:32:18.680
because discernment has a different assignment, okay?

441
00:32:18.720 --> 00:32:23.120
Discernment isn't suspicion.

442
00:32:23.120 --> 00:32:25.920
Discernment isn't fear.

443
00:32:25.920 --> 00:32:28.640
It isn't having to constantly look at something like,

444
00:32:28.640 --> 00:32:31.440
oh, something's wrong.

445
00:32:31.440 --> 00:32:35.400
Y'all, I have to frequently try to communicate this to my husband,

446
00:32:35.400 --> 00:32:41.120
because I'm female, he's male, okay?

447
00:32:41.120 --> 00:32:44.920
Men and women, masculine and feminine, are different, ladies.

448
00:32:44.920 --> 00:32:49.200
And as you grow in your relationships, as you meet men,

449
00:32:49.200 --> 00:32:53.920
you're going to realize men and women are different.

450
00:32:53.920 --> 00:32:57.040
We communicate different, we think different,

451
00:32:57.040 --> 00:33:02.560
we worship God different, we show up different,

452
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because we're different.

453
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And so, I am definitely someone who has a very strong gift of discernment.

454
00:33:11.640 --> 00:33:16.440
I'm also feminine and a very emotional creature, okay?

455
00:33:16.440 --> 00:33:22.960
So, when I am trying to utilize my discernment

456
00:33:22.960 --> 00:33:28.360
and communicate to my husband what discernment God is revealing to me

457
00:33:28.360 --> 00:33:32.400
about our kids or about some decisions that we have to make,

458
00:33:32.400 --> 00:33:37.120
or like, hey, God's showing me this and God's showing me that,

459
00:33:37.120 --> 00:33:41.400
and hey, let's hold back on that,

460
00:33:41.840 --> 00:33:44.440
let's wait here.

461
00:33:44.440 --> 00:33:50.600
My husband frequently will confuse it.

462
00:33:50.600 --> 00:33:55.360
He's always like, well,

463
00:33:55.360 --> 00:33:58.440
he always wants to assume I'm operating in fear.

464
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And I do sometimes struggle with some fear.

465
00:34:00.760 --> 00:34:02.360
I'm not denying that.

466
00:34:02.360 --> 00:34:08.960
That is one area that I have to release frequently, okay?

467
00:34:09.000 --> 00:34:11.880
But I have to remind my husband, like,

468
00:34:11.880 --> 00:34:15.800
well, discernment doesn't mean I'm operating in fear.

469
00:34:15.800 --> 00:34:18.120
It's not supposed to.

470
00:34:18.120 --> 00:34:21.960
It's also me not looking for something wrong.

471
00:34:21.960 --> 00:34:27.920
It's actually God giving me an ability to recognize wisdom, truth,

472
00:34:27.920 --> 00:34:30.760
and what the Holy Spirit is trying to reveal

473
00:34:30.760 --> 00:34:35.239
through information that He's showing me.

474
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Okay?

475
00:34:37.920 --> 00:34:42.400
So that's why we encourage you ladies to gather information

476
00:34:42.400 --> 00:34:43.400
when you're discovery dating,

477
00:34:43.400 --> 00:34:46.639
because that's going to help guide your discernment.

478
00:34:46.639 --> 00:34:47.679
It's not coming from fear.

479
00:34:47.679 --> 00:34:51.320
It's just saying, what is God showing me?

480
00:34:51.320 --> 00:34:54.679
What is this information going to help me recognize?

481
00:34:54.679 --> 00:34:58.440
What patterns do I notice?

482
00:34:58.440 --> 00:35:00.080
How can I use this information to ask?

483
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:07.560
better questions. How is this information going to help me respond from a place of

484
00:35:07.560 --> 00:35:14.040
wisdom and at a place of emotion? See often my husband thinks that it's fear

485
00:35:14.040 --> 00:35:19.040
and emotion because again I am emotional so he wants to kind of join the two and

486
00:35:19.040 --> 00:35:26.080
I'm like oh no that's not what that is. So I can understand the confusion and

487
00:35:26.080 --> 00:35:30.340
this was just honestly revealed to me recently that I'm like oh like I just

488
00:35:30.340 --> 00:35:37.280
wasn't communicating this effectively to him. And so that's why a lot of times

489
00:35:37.280 --> 00:35:44.560
when I'm like hey something's going on with the kids we shouldn't make that

490
00:35:44.560 --> 00:35:49.240
decision I think God's showing us like we need to be mindful of this because

491
00:35:49.240 --> 00:35:53.760
this is where it can lead. And he's like well you're just being fearful you're

492
00:35:53.760 --> 00:36:00.440
just assuming and I'm like no I'm just using information that I'm gathering

493
00:36:00.440 --> 00:36:10.120
that God is helping me use to make decisions in wisdom and not emotion so

494
00:36:10.120 --> 00:36:16.880
that we are in alignment with what God is trying to direct us to. Okay so

495
00:36:16.880 --> 00:36:21.880
hopefully that helps clear that up. And so then that moves us along to that

496
00:36:21.920 --> 00:36:27.160
certainty belonging to God. Okay so when we have that hope and that discernment

497
00:36:27.160 --> 00:36:33.120
working together then it allows that balance of us really releasing the

498
00:36:33.120 --> 00:36:39.200
outcomes and the certainty to God. And that's often where I think it's easy for

499
00:36:39.200 --> 00:36:43.920
us to get stuck if we're not utilizing the hope and discernment effectively and

500
00:36:43.920 --> 00:36:51.960
practically. Because the problem the problem isn't hope and it's not

501
00:36:51.960 --> 00:36:58.480
discernment. It begins when we ask either one of them to give us the certainty.

502
00:36:58.480 --> 00:37:01.480
When we're looking for hope to give us certainty or we're looking for

503
00:37:01.480 --> 00:37:05.760
discernment to give us certainty. Because hope can't do that and neither can

504
00:37:05.760 --> 00:37:14.360
discernment. That assignment belongs to God. Okay remember last week what what's

505
00:37:14.360 --> 00:37:19.360
God's to carry and what's mine to carry? God is carrying the outcome. God's

506
00:37:19.360 --> 00:37:27.400
carrying the certainty piece. What's ours to carry is to step faithfully in hope

507
00:37:27.400 --> 00:37:34.800
because we're trusting him. To you know step faithfully in discernment because

508
00:37:34.800 --> 00:37:38.600
we're gathering information. We are partnering with him. Takes our

509
00:37:38.600 --> 00:37:44.880
participation. Okay and so when hope and discernment partner with God there's

510
00:37:44.880 --> 00:37:48.600
participation there. It's the same thing as we're participating and partnering

511
00:37:48.600 --> 00:37:54.440
with the hope and discernment. Okay hopefully that makes sense. So when we

512
00:37:54.440 --> 00:37:59.400
ask let me just I think this this might this is where I do have a little bit of

513
00:37:59.400 --> 00:38:06.760
notes on. When I ask hope to guarantee an outcome I'm gonna get disappointed.

514
00:38:06.760 --> 00:38:12.680
Because remember it's because it's I hope this is gonna happen and if it

515
00:38:12.680 --> 00:38:18.160
doesn't start showing up and I thought the hope was my certainty so when God is

516
00:38:18.160 --> 00:38:23.600
showing up differently I'm gonna get disappointed. So I'm not asking hope to

517
00:38:23.600 --> 00:38:28.640
give me the certainty and to guarantee the outcome. Also when I ask discernment

518
00:38:28.640 --> 00:38:36.000
to eliminate all the unknowns okay I'm gonna get exhausted and then I'm not

519
00:38:36.000 --> 00:38:41.480
gonna be able to have any hope because I'm I'm worn out. I'm sitting here trying

520
00:38:41.480 --> 00:38:44.840
to think okay this is the information now what's it what's it telling me? What

521
00:38:44.840 --> 00:38:48.880
decision is it telling me to make? God's like well that's not yours to decide.

522
00:38:48.880 --> 00:38:53.240
You're just supposed to sit here. I'm showing you things now. Sit with this and

523
00:38:53.240 --> 00:38:59.560
sit with me as I walk you through what's the next step. So neither one of

524
00:38:59.560 --> 00:39:05.080
those is supposed to carry the weight. God is carrying that weight. And so it

525
00:39:05.080 --> 00:39:11.560
brings me back to this is a verse that I think a lot of you will probably you

526
00:39:11.560 --> 00:39:18.000
know recognize Proverbs 3 5 and 5 through 6. It's trusting the Lord with

527
00:39:18.000 --> 00:39:23.220
all your heart and not leaning on your own understanding. It's submitting to Him.

528
00:39:24.100 --> 00:39:29.460
Because He's going to make your path straight. He's going to highlight and

529
00:39:29.460 --> 00:39:34.580
light your path and know what's your next step.

530
00:39:35.420 --> 00:39:40.140
The promise isn't that God gives us certainty before we take the next step.

531
00:39:40.140 --> 00:39:47.540
The promise is that He faithfully directs our path as we trust Him.

532
00:39:47.540 --> 00:40:01.780
This past Sunday the the verse of you know God's Word is the lamp unto my feet.

533
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:10.440
and light into my path and something was revealed to me and I didn't realize it until this weekend

534
00:40:10.440 --> 00:40:17.240
and I think this really does kind of connect to what we're sharing here today is if you

535
00:40:17.240 --> 00:40:22.360
think back in biblical times those lamps they weren't electric we didn't have electricity

536
00:40:22.360 --> 00:40:26.680
back then okay it's not like we flipped a light bulb on and it's illuminated everything

537
00:40:26.680 --> 00:40:34.800
right when we were in the dark and we had to have a lamp we didn't we didn't see the

538
00:40:34.800 --> 00:40:40.760
destination you couldn't see the full journey you didn't see the full path that lamp that

539
00:40:40.760 --> 00:40:51.560
lantern only lit up a small portion for you to know where to take your next step so his

540
00:40:51.560 --> 00:41:00.480
word and what he does for us is literally helps us direct us for that next faithful step he's not

541
00:41:00.480 --> 00:41:07.000
showing us the whole destination it's not where our eyes are because when we start trying to see

542
00:41:07.000 --> 00:41:16.480
that that's when we're trying to pick that up ourselves and so that is what I want you ladies

543
00:41:16.480 --> 00:41:23.600
to capture as you're walking out discovery dating and not just discovery dating because

544
00:41:23.600 --> 00:41:27.480
some of you I get like you might not be dating yet but in any of your relationships that you're

545
00:41:27.480 --> 00:41:36.040
walking out whatever it is that God is highlighting to you I want you to remember that I want this

546
00:41:36.040 --> 00:41:44.560
just to light up my next step so what does this practically look like so like Lucy this week we

547
00:41:44.560 --> 00:41:49.680
were reminded that the testimony the biblical knowledge someone completing last year single

548
00:41:49.680 --> 00:42:00.280
it doesn't remove that invitation to practice discovery dating she can remain hopeful while

549
00:42:00.280 --> 00:42:06.680
continue gathering information because she's not gonna lead her let her confidence be in

550
00:42:06.680 --> 00:42:16.760
the resume of the fact this guy has completed last year single her confidence is in the leadership

551
00:42:16.760 --> 00:42:29.480
of God that he's guiding her okay so she was practicing that this week and then Nancy she

552
00:42:29.480 --> 00:42:36.160
was showing us that hope and discernment don't compete she was able to use her voice and reflect

553
00:42:36.160 --> 00:42:45.640
that honestly she remained open to what God was revealing she didn't feel any pressure to rush

554
00:42:45.640 --> 00:42:55.600
towards certainty okay he wasn't like he was getting kind of touchy-feely with her and she

555
00:42:55.600 --> 00:43:01.360
she was putting some boundaries up and then it was like okay is he listening to my boundaries

556
00:43:01.360 --> 00:43:08.200
or not so now she gets to sit with that information and spend more time with the Lord and really

557
00:43:08.200 --> 00:43:14.200
discern what what was that showing her what was happening inside of her so she now can take that

558
00:43:14.200 --> 00:43:21.040
information just to decide what her next steps are or what her next action is or what her next

559
00:43:21.040 --> 00:43:27.160
questions are to this guy if she wants to continue to get to know him or when she does what else is

560
00:43:27.160 --> 00:43:34.520
she looking at what is she taking notice in if she goes on a second date with him she's using the

561
00:43:34.520 --> 00:43:42.200
information she gathered in the first date to help guide her second date okay so on and so forth okay

562
00:43:42.200 --> 00:43:49.600
so I want you ladies just I'm gonna close with this the goal of discovery dating isn't to figure

563
00:43:49.600 --> 00:43:55.160
everything out quickly as possible I know we want to just rush through it I know we want to get to

564
00:43:55.160 --> 00:43:58.640
that finish line we just want to be in that relationship that's gonna get us married and get

565
00:43:58.640 --> 00:44:08.720
us you know what is that promise that God is is you know given us but what if the goal is learning

566
00:44:08.720 --> 00:44:15.360
to walk so closely with God that we trust him with what we don't know yet what if that's actually

567
00:44:15.360 --> 00:44:24.640
gonna help prepare you and equip you for what that promise is gonna where it's gonna place you

568
00:44:25.640 --> 00:44:39.000
that purpose okay preparing you for what marriage will look like so that you can handle the capacity

569
00:44:39.000 --> 00:44:48.160
of it so let's learn in this preparation period as we are discovery dating as we are taking what

570
00:44:48.160 --> 00:44:57.080
we learn in heartwork and utilizing it in our relationships and let's practice using that to

571
00:44:57.080 --> 00:45:00.080
walk closely with God and see that

572
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:08.560
how he is healing, revealing, and doing things in our hearts that is preparing us for that

573
00:45:08.560 --> 00:45:15.840
promise that he has for us. So this week, when you find yourself wanting that certainty,

574
00:45:16.640 --> 00:45:21.600
or you kind of lean into wanting to know, like, what's the outcome? What do I need to do to get

575
00:45:21.600 --> 00:45:28.960
this outcome? All right. I want you to come back to that simple truth that hope keeps your heart

576
00:45:29.680 --> 00:45:37.840
hope keeps your heart open. Discernment keeps your eyes open because the certainty belongs to God.

577
00:45:38.880 --> 00:45:45.520
Okay. So I'll post our activation for the week. So this is, I'm going to briefly just share it.

578
00:45:45.520 --> 00:45:52.320
Okay. And then I'll post it, um, later tonight after the, uh, eight o'clock call happens so

579
00:45:52.320 --> 00:45:57.360
that those ladies that are not able to be here, they're not seeing the activation before the

580
00:45:57.360 --> 00:46:05.040
coaching actually takes place. Um, I'm going to invite you ladies to intentionally practice both

581
00:46:05.040 --> 00:46:10.880
hope and discernment in one real life situation. So that might be a date that might be during,

582
00:46:10.880 --> 00:46:16.400
um, any conversation you have this week. Um, it might be while you're getting to know someone,

583
00:46:16.400 --> 00:46:19.280
whether it's, you're getting to know someone that you're dating or whether it's, you're getting to

584
00:46:19.280 --> 00:46:24.720
know someone brand new, whether it's a coworker at work or whether it's like a neighbor or someone

585
00:46:24.720 --> 00:46:32.160
that, um, is new to your church or, um, new to your community. Like, you know, a friend that

586
00:46:32.160 --> 00:46:37.680
you might want to start hanging out with, whatever that looks like. Okay. Um, you know, it could be

587
00:46:37.680 --> 00:46:42.560
something completely different in your life. It doesn't have to necessarily be dating. Um, if you

588
00:46:42.560 --> 00:46:47.760
are dating, definitely use it for that. And if you're not, don't feel like you can't do this

589
00:46:48.560 --> 00:46:53.600
activation. Okay. And then, so when you choose that situation, I want you to ask yourself these

590
00:46:53.600 --> 00:47:04.080
two questions. What does hope invite me to remain open to and what is discernment inviting me to pay

591
00:47:04.080 --> 00:47:11.440
attention to and notice how they can exist together. And then I want you to come back

592
00:47:11.440 --> 00:47:18.480
and I want you to share that reflection in the community this week. Okay. Cause I want to hear,

593
00:47:18.560 --> 00:47:24.000
I want to hear what situation you were navigating. I want to hear like what helped,

594
00:47:24.000 --> 00:47:30.640
helped you remain hopeful. Um, I want to notice, um, like what did you notice through your

595
00:47:30.640 --> 00:47:38.400
discernment? Like what things got revealed to you and how practicing both might have

596
00:47:39.040 --> 00:47:51.520
changed how you would approach the situation before. Okay. So that is done. I think I got

597
00:47:52.560 --> 00:48:00.000
much quicker. So that's good. We've got a good solid 40, 45 minutes here probably to get through

598
00:48:00.000 --> 00:48:06.400
some questions. I know I had a couple girls, um, that I asked specifically that I wanted to

599
00:48:06.400 --> 00:48:13.040
unpack things with. So, um, if that was you go ahead and raise your avatar hand. Um,

600
00:48:15.440 --> 00:48:22.400
what does discernment invite us to? Yeah. So what is that discernment inviting you to?

601
00:48:23.520 --> 00:48:29.040
What information, like you're just like, that information is giving you something. So

602
00:48:29.040 --> 00:48:39.280
now where does that go? And I'll again, I'll post my notes and I will, um, post the activation.

603
00:48:39.280 --> 00:48:44.720
So keep your eyes out in the app for that. I do think that has been, um, really significantly

604
00:48:44.720 --> 00:48:57.440
helpful for a lot of you. So I will continue to keep doing that. Um, so that we can allow more

605
00:48:57.520 --> 00:49:04.720
time for these questions. Like I really never want to cut our questions short because I do

606
00:49:04.720 --> 00:49:10.080
think we get a lot of teaching from y'all's questions too. Um, I know I ran both calls

607
00:49:10.080 --> 00:49:15.680
last week and Holy Spirit totally showed up on the one o'clock call in that teaching

608
00:49:16.560 --> 00:49:21.520
and in y'all's questions. I don't know if you got to watch the replay of the second one.

609
00:49:21.520 --> 00:49:27.280
For me, it just, I feel like it didn't land as well on the eight o'clock teach, like the

610
00:49:27.280 --> 00:49:31.760
teaching for the eight o'clock didn't land as well, but the questions at the end were great,

611
00:49:31.760 --> 00:49:40.080
but it was so much longer. And so I was, I was like, Oh, like it reminded me how important our,

612
00:49:40.080 --> 00:49:44.320
our coaching questions are at the end of the call. So I always want to make sure that we have time

613
00:49:44.320 --> 00:49:50.640
for that. Okay. All right. So I've got Google, she's got her hand up, Tracy. I think, um, you

614
00:49:50.640 --> 00:49:58.080
may not know how to raise your avatar hand. So if that is correct, just type in the chat. Um,

615
00:49:58.080 --> 00:49:59.920
and then tell me if you know how to unmute.

616
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:04.960
yourself because if not I think I could probably help you unmute. Oh wait I think

617
00:50:04.960 --> 00:50:12.480
I see your thing or I see something in the chat. Okay so if you just follow up

618
00:50:12.480 --> 00:50:17.760
with me Google I'm gonna go ahead and have you unmute, share with us, just kind

619
00:50:17.760 --> 00:50:24.960
of let's catch up and then anybody else have their have any questions? Laura I

620
00:50:24.960 --> 00:50:32.800
think I touched based on your post from last week. Who else am I seeing that I

621
00:50:32.800 --> 00:50:37.520
noticed? Susan okay Susan's got a question.

622
00:50:38.080 --> 00:50:44.680
Cynthia I see you I'm curious how things are going with you. Amanda I've seen you

623
00:50:44.680 --> 00:50:48.560
post a lot too I hope things are going well I'm seeing lots of growth in you

624
00:50:48.560 --> 00:50:56.320
which has been awesome. Yalise is I don't know if I pronounced your name

625
00:50:56.320 --> 00:51:02.400
correctly or not I apologize if I if I did I'm phonetically challenged. You had

626
00:51:02.400 --> 00:51:06.800
a lot of great insight this week too in the app that I recall. All right those

627
00:51:06.800 --> 00:51:11.760
are the ones that I just remember off the topic like off the top of my head.

628
00:51:11.760 --> 00:51:16.120
There was a lot of really great things happen. Okay Google let's let's start

629
00:51:16.120 --> 00:51:26.400
with you. All right let's unpack. Hi everyone thanks Carla. So I don't know

630
00:51:26.400 --> 00:51:34.640
where to start but I met this guy on Hinge and what drew me to him was what

631
00:51:34.640 --> 00:51:42.360
he was saying about Jesus and stuff so I matched with him and we started to chat

632
00:51:42.360 --> 00:51:49.800
and very quickly moved to texting because I wasn't really spending that

633
00:51:49.800 --> 00:51:56.320
much time on the app and I liked the conversation. One thing that I did

634
00:51:56.320 --> 00:52:04.720
notice quite quickly was that he wasn't very keen on doing a video call and I

635
00:52:04.720 --> 00:52:09.200
didn't want to push too much because I just gave him the benefit of the doubt.

636
00:52:09.200 --> 00:52:15.920
I was like okay maybe he's not too comfortable and then I suggested about a

637
00:52:15.920 --> 00:52:23.360
week of talking later that we meet for a coffee but he wanted to delay that as

638
00:52:23.360 --> 00:52:32.200
well. Yeah and so just for the sake of time I want to just like this guy

639
00:52:32.200 --> 00:52:37.520
started becoming really pushy and you were communicating boundaries very well

640
00:52:37.560 --> 00:52:49.200
and what I noticed is he really like you were putting boundaries up and he he

641
00:52:49.200 --> 00:52:57.440
wasn't respecting those and that so tell me what was happening with that like

642
00:52:57.440 --> 00:53:03.880
what was happening in your heart when you when you saw that. So he started to

643
00:53:03.960 --> 00:53:10.760
very it wasn't very aggressive in the beginning but started to expect me to

644
00:53:10.760 --> 00:53:16.200
pretty much talk to him all the time let him know let him know where I was what I

645
00:53:16.200 --> 00:53:24.480
was doing at all times and I found that very weird but I just thought maybe he's

646
00:53:24.480 --> 00:53:30.120
a bit anxiously attached and I sort of understood that but it got to a point

647
00:53:30.120 --> 00:53:36.280
where I would start feeling anxious about not being able to respond I'd be in

648
00:53:36.280 --> 00:53:40.360
a meeting and he'd be texting me and I couldn't I won't respond and I'd have to

649
00:53:40.920 --> 00:53:46.680
start explaining to him after the meeting why I wasn't responding to him while I was

650
00:53:46.680 --> 00:53:53.800
at work so things like that and he wanted to do things for me that I thought were a

651
00:53:53.880 --> 00:54:01.640
bit too much. Well didn't he ask you to like he wanted to meet up with your friends and

652
00:54:01.640 --> 00:54:07.720
want to bring you flowers and wanted to get started at your church like yeah and

653
00:54:07.720 --> 00:54:12.840
he's really trying to insert himself in there yeah and he wanted me to give him

654
00:54:12.840 --> 00:54:21.800
my car so he can get it washed and just trying to come in much quicker and much

655
00:54:21.800 --> 00:54:28.120
closer than what I was comfortable with and when I would communicate that he'd be very

656
00:54:28.120 --> 00:54:35.400
offended and I'd have to explain to him that I'm a bit maybe I'm a bit slow when it

657
00:54:35.400 --> 00:54:42.280
comes to this stuff but I'm not too comfortable doing that kind of stuff yeah. Yeah so yes like

658
00:54:42.280 --> 00:54:50.040
what Cynthia like this is ladies this is when she was staying open and so like I love like

659
00:54:50.040 --> 00:54:57.400
I thought she did a very nice job of still remaining open okay but she's also starting

660
00:54:57.400 --> 00:54:59.960
to gather this information and she's starting

661
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:09.280
starting to now like recognize, okay, he's texting me frequently, he's getting anxious,

662
00:55:09.280 --> 00:55:15.720
and if I can't answer him right away, then I start feeling like I have to explain myself.

663
00:55:15.720 --> 00:55:18.720
And she starts feeling this pressure.

664
00:55:18.720 --> 00:55:24.720
And he's now trying to just, he's not like, she's trying to communicate to him like, hey,

665
00:55:24.720 --> 00:55:25.720
I'm at work.

666
00:55:25.720 --> 00:55:29.640
I can't, you know, this is really uncomfortable for me.

667
00:55:29.640 --> 00:55:32.760
He's not responding to her boundary.

668
00:55:32.760 --> 00:55:34.960
He keeps pushing through it.

669
00:55:34.960 --> 00:55:40.780
She's remaining open and thinking, okay, well, let's give him some benefit of the doubt here.

670
00:55:40.780 --> 00:55:43.880
But now the information she's gathering is consistent.

671
00:55:43.880 --> 00:55:46.820
Now she's seeing this is this is not happening.

672
00:55:46.820 --> 00:55:53.340
And this is where I'm just like, now you've got you've got you got enough information.

673
00:55:53.340 --> 00:55:59.600
Your discernment is kind of saying, all right, I'm done, right?

674
00:56:00.560 --> 00:56:01.560
Yeah.

675
00:56:01.560 --> 00:56:04.720
So, ladies, listen to that, okay?

676
00:56:04.720 --> 00:56:08.160
I want you ladies to listen to that.

677
00:56:08.160 --> 00:56:12.880
And this situation here, so this is what I really wanted to coach and unpack with you.

678
00:56:12.880 --> 00:56:17.920
Because I think this is a really good experience and situation.

679
00:56:17.920 --> 00:56:20.880
Ladies, this is where Bless and Block is helpful.

680
00:56:20.880 --> 00:56:26.340
But before you do that, I want to make sure what information does he have about you?

681
00:56:26.340 --> 00:56:27.640
Does he know where you work?

682
00:56:27.640 --> 00:56:29.340
Does he know what church you go to?

683
00:56:29.940 --> 00:56:32.140
What information does he have?

684
00:56:32.140 --> 00:56:36.620
So he knows where I work, doesn't know the church I go to.

685
00:56:36.620 --> 00:56:38.860
He couldn't find it on the internet.

686
00:56:38.860 --> 00:56:40.860
It's not a very big church.

687
00:56:40.860 --> 00:56:46.380
He knows the area where I stay, because it's not too far from his place.

688
00:56:46.380 --> 00:56:50.380
Yeah, so that information he's got.

689
00:56:50.380 --> 00:56:57.780
Okay, so how does he have that information?

690
00:56:57.780 --> 00:57:00.380
How long have you guys been talking?

691
00:57:00.380 --> 00:57:02.980
About a month now.

692
00:57:02.980 --> 00:57:07.900
How many times have you seen him in person?

693
00:57:07.900 --> 00:57:08.900
Twice.

694
00:57:08.900 --> 00:57:09.900
Twice?

695
00:57:09.900 --> 00:57:10.900
Yes.

696
00:57:10.900 --> 00:57:15.100
Okay, before you met him in person, did he know where you worked and what church you

697
00:57:15.100 --> 00:57:16.100
went to?

698
00:57:16.100 --> 00:57:17.100
No.

699
00:57:17.100 --> 00:57:18.100
Okay.

700
00:57:18.100 --> 00:57:20.180
He didn't.

701
00:57:20.180 --> 00:57:22.300
When did he find out that information?

702
00:57:22.300 --> 00:57:24.900
On date one or date two?

703
00:57:24.940 --> 00:57:32.020
So this was after date one, when we were just talking on the phone.

704
00:57:32.020 --> 00:57:38.900
I think I was talking about traffic or something, so I told him where I worked, yeah.

705
00:57:38.900 --> 00:57:44.140
Okay, that's where I want us to be cautious, okay?

706
00:57:44.140 --> 00:57:48.460
You didn't mess anything up, but I want you to learn from this.

707
00:57:48.460 --> 00:57:52.740
It's really important, ladies, that we're not oversharing information to someone we

708
00:57:52.740 --> 00:57:59.020
still haven't really gotten to know yet, okay?

709
00:57:59.020 --> 00:58:02.060
So that's super important, okay?

710
00:58:02.060 --> 00:58:06.860
So that's going to help us guide you as to how you're going to start setting boundaries

711
00:58:06.860 --> 00:58:17.580
with this guy, because I would say bless and block, however the block, I don't want that

712
00:58:17.580 --> 00:58:20.660
to be extreme.

713
00:58:20.660 --> 00:58:28.260
So I want you to be very firm in creating a boundary and saying, you know, whatever

714
00:58:28.260 --> 00:58:34.420
his name is, just say, hey, I appreciate the time that we've spent getting to know each

715
00:58:34.420 --> 00:58:35.940
other.

716
00:58:35.940 --> 00:58:44.940
I am no longer interested in continuing this relationship.

717
00:58:44.940 --> 00:58:52.140
I wish you all the best, but I'm going to move in a different direction.

718
00:58:52.140 --> 00:58:57.500
You don't have to explain yourself, okay?

719
00:58:57.500 --> 00:59:03.700
And then if he responds to you, I don't want you to feel like you have to immediately give

720
00:59:03.700 --> 00:59:05.380
him a response back.

721
00:59:05.380 --> 00:59:09.720
This is when, ladies, you get to utilize our community, okay?

722
00:59:09.720 --> 00:59:18.400
This is when, you know, Ebony and myself want to be able to come alongside you so that

723
00:59:18.400 --> 00:59:21.640
you're not walking this alone, okay?

724
00:59:21.640 --> 00:59:24.160
This is not to scare you or anything like this, okay?

725
00:59:24.160 --> 00:59:30.240
This is just to help you practice because this could help be helping you recognize some

726
00:59:30.240 --> 00:59:33.520
areas of growth, and that's a good thing, okay?

727
00:59:33.520 --> 00:59:38.960
You saw some areas where you did really well and that you're growing and you're utilizing

728
00:59:38.960 --> 00:59:39.960
heart work.

729
00:59:39.960 --> 00:59:45.080
You're recognizing you're not staying in this pattern of I have to keep responding to this

730
00:59:45.080 --> 00:59:51.120
guy and keep explaining myself.

731
00:59:51.120 --> 00:59:56.640
You caught that in less than a month, and you're coming to community and you're sharing

732
00:59:56.640 --> 00:59:58.640
that.

733
00:59:58.640 --> 00:59:59.640
Those are good things.

734
00:59:59.640 --> 00:59:59.640


735
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:07.600
those are really positive growth areas, okay, where we want to make sure that we are being careful,

736
01:00:07.600 --> 01:00:13.360
okay, and protecting our, you know, like this is this discernment, like now, now you're learning,

737
01:00:13.360 --> 01:00:20.560
like you're collecting information. If I give my, you know, where I work too soon, or if they know

738
01:00:20.560 --> 01:00:25.200
like what, what the name of the church I attend is, and they live close by,

739
01:00:25.200 --> 01:00:33.920
why do they have access to me if I need to, you know, block them at some point?

740
01:00:36.160 --> 01:00:43.360
Yeah. Okay. So I want you ladies to keep that in mind, especially on dates one through three.

741
01:00:44.320 --> 01:00:53.520
Okay. You can still have conversation and, you know, tell them about like, you know, daily life

742
01:00:53.520 --> 01:00:57.840
and like work and stuff like that. We're just not going to let them know exactly where we work,

743
01:00:58.800 --> 01:01:07.120
exactly what we do. We're not giving them all the details. We're giving them just clips that

744
01:01:08.160 --> 01:01:13.280
give them an idea or a summary, but they can't literally go take that information

745
01:01:14.400 --> 01:01:21.040
and dig and find things out. Okay. Does that make sense? Yeah, it does. Okay. So

746
01:01:21.440 --> 01:01:29.920
how do you feel about, you know, communicating to him like, Hey, appreciate the time he sent

747
01:01:29.920 --> 01:01:34.160
getting to know each other. I'm going to go ahead and move into a different direction

748
01:01:34.960 --> 01:01:43.600
and I wish you the best of luck. Yeah, I think that's a, that's a good idea. I'll, I'll do it

749
01:01:43.600 --> 01:01:50.160
like that. I'll just send him a text and let's start there. Yeah. And then if he responds, then

750
01:01:51.040 --> 01:01:55.600
I'll come to the group. Yeah. I don't care if you have to post 10 different posts in a day.

751
01:01:56.320 --> 01:02:02.000
Yeah. I don't care if you have to screenshot how he's responding. Like, um, we definitely

752
01:02:02.000 --> 01:02:06.320
want to make sure that we're helping you through that process. And I think it will also

753
01:02:07.600 --> 01:02:11.920
be a learning experience for the ladies in community as well, because I'm sure you're

754
01:02:11.920 --> 01:02:19.440
not the only one that has done this. Y'all I did this. I had a guy that I met out one time,

755
01:02:19.440 --> 01:02:24.400
like this is before heartwork. And he, he went to church, went to a church in my community. I

756
01:02:24.400 --> 01:02:30.000
knew what church he went to. He knew what church I went to. Um, and because he talked about Jesus

757
01:02:30.000 --> 01:02:34.320
and all these things, I thought, Oh, this, this, you know, and he's cute. I'm not going to lie.

758
01:02:34.320 --> 01:02:40.480
He's cute ladies. Um, I know your situation. He was not very, um, honest about how he looked

759
01:02:40.480 --> 01:02:46.560
because he was generating his, his, uh, AI generating his photos. But yeah, with this

760
01:02:46.560 --> 01:02:50.160
guy that I dated, I was like, Oh, this guy's cute. He loves Jesus. He goes to church, all

761
01:02:50.160 --> 01:02:57.600
this, those things. So, um, we exchanged numbers and set up a date and he insisted in coming and

762
01:02:57.600 --> 01:03:05.040
picking me up my house. And so he let him pick me up. I thought like, that felt good. You know,

763
01:03:05.040 --> 01:03:10.080
like how chivalrous I'm getting a man, like picking me up at my doorstep. I mean, it felt,

764
01:03:10.080 --> 01:03:17.360
felt very romantic. Okay. And so I was like, okay. And so we go out on this date

765
01:03:18.480 --> 01:03:22.880
and now I'm in his car and we go to a movie. We went to like, it was even a, it was a Christian,

766
01:03:22.880 --> 01:03:29.280
like a Christian movie even in the theaters at the time. And I mean, this was years ago,

767
01:03:29.280 --> 01:03:36.880
so I don't even remember what movie it was. Um, but ladies, he started getting really strange

768
01:03:36.880 --> 01:03:44.800
and like my, like my Spidey sense was going off. Like I was getting very like uncomfortable.

769
01:03:45.920 --> 01:03:50.080
Um, okay. See Laura, she might've jumped off already. Um, I was getting really uncomfortable.

770
01:03:51.120 --> 01:03:56.240
And so, um, and then I'm sitting here thinking I got to get back in the car with this guy.

771
01:03:57.440 --> 01:04:02.320
And then he started telling me about his last relationship and his ex girlfriend and how crazy

772
01:04:02.320 --> 01:04:07.920
she was and they had issues drinking. And I'm sitting here like, oh my gosh, like,

773
01:04:08.640 --> 01:04:14.960
please let him take me to my house. Like, please God, just don't let him take me somewhere else

774
01:04:14.960 --> 01:04:20.640
because what am I going to do? And he drops me off at my house. And so I'm trying to do like

775
01:04:20.640 --> 01:04:26.400
one of the side hugs in the, in the car, but still trying to be like nice and pleasant, you know?

776
01:04:26.400 --> 01:04:34.240
Cause that was when I didn't know I was allowed to have boundaries and I couldn't like that

777
01:04:35.040 --> 01:04:42.560
being kind sometimes is being firm. And so I start getting out of the car, like opening my door. And

778
01:04:42.560 --> 01:04:48.400
then he starts getting out of his car on his side. And I'm like, oh my gosh, what's he going to do?

779
01:04:49.040 --> 01:04:52.720
And like, he comes over and he's like, well, I want to give you an actual hug. And I'm like,

780
01:04:52.720 --> 01:04:56.560
oh gosh, like I could not make it to my front door fast enough.

781
01:04:57.280 --> 01:04:59.680
And then I finally get in my house and get my door unlocked.

782
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:03.440
I get it in my house and I lock the door and I'm like,

783
01:05:03.440 --> 01:05:05.280
I need to turn my light on.

784
01:05:05.280 --> 01:05:09.360
So if he tries to like, he knows exactly where I live.

785
01:05:09.360 --> 01:05:13.360
And I'm like, what's going on here?

786
01:05:13.360 --> 01:05:14.640
And then I'm like, no,

787
01:05:14.640 --> 01:05:16.960
because then that might actually make him recognize my house

788
01:05:16.960 --> 01:05:18.520
because I lived in like condos.

789
01:05:18.520 --> 01:05:19.480
So they all look the same.

790
01:05:19.480 --> 01:05:23.040
I'm like, maybe if I turn my light off, you won't remember.

791
01:05:23.040 --> 01:05:26.100
And so, I mean, I had a roommate too at the time.

792
01:05:26.100 --> 01:05:29.840
And so, but I remember, I like, I locked my bedroom door.

793
01:05:29.840 --> 01:05:32.400
I locked every possible door in the house.

794
01:05:32.400 --> 01:05:34.980
And at the time, like I had a therapist

795
01:05:34.980 --> 01:05:37.920
and I was going to him and he was like,

796
01:05:37.920 --> 01:05:40.760
no more letting guys pick you up

797
01:05:40.760 --> 01:05:42.280
at your house on a first date.

798
01:05:43.320 --> 01:05:44.360
He's like, no more.

799
01:05:45.240 --> 01:05:48.120
And so, I have done it myself.

800
01:05:48.120 --> 01:05:51.060
Okay, and you're God protected, you're God defended.

801
01:05:51.060 --> 01:05:52.120
All right, you have this community.

802
01:05:52.120 --> 01:05:55.420
That's why I want you to feel comfortable and confident

803
01:05:55.420 --> 01:05:58.880
that we will walk you through this process.

804
01:05:58.920 --> 01:06:01.400
And so, we just wanna make sure that we have eyes on that

805
01:06:01.400 --> 01:06:05.360
and that you feel confident in putting that boundary up

806
01:06:05.360 --> 01:06:09.660
and that you feel like if he's pushing that boundary,

807
01:06:09.660 --> 01:06:12.240
you are able to do,

808
01:06:12.240 --> 01:06:14.120
you're able to use that information

809
01:06:14.120 --> 01:06:19.120
to discern what your next step is, okay?

810
01:06:20.440 --> 01:06:22.440
Thanks, Carla, I'll do that.

811
01:06:22.440 --> 01:06:23.800
You are welcome.

812
01:06:23.800 --> 01:06:25.280
All right, Tracy, I'm gonna go with you

813
01:06:25.280 --> 01:06:28.440
because I know I specifically asked you to jump on

814
01:06:29.000 --> 01:06:30.840
and talk a little bit about yourself.

815
01:06:30.840 --> 01:06:32.080
Yes, can you hear me?

816
01:06:32.080 --> 01:06:33.160
Yes, I can.

817
01:06:33.160 --> 01:06:34.480
How are you?

818
01:06:34.480 --> 01:06:36.160
I'm good, I'm good.

819
01:06:37.320 --> 01:06:38.760
I'll make this really quick.

820
01:06:38.760 --> 01:06:41.600
I just wanted, the Lord from last week

821
01:06:41.600 --> 01:06:44.840
has really wanted me to just engage,

822
01:06:46.240 --> 01:06:51.240
to say hi and I put in the chat a little bit about myself

823
01:06:52.640 --> 01:06:55.840
as far as I have not dated in five years

824
01:06:55.840 --> 01:06:59.080
because I've had a lot of health issues, spinal injury

825
01:06:59.080 --> 01:07:02.040
and I walk with a dropped foot.

826
01:07:02.040 --> 01:07:06.360
I live in a small town and no one ever asked me for a date.

827
01:07:06.360 --> 01:07:09.960
And so, I'm taking baby steps.

828
01:07:09.960 --> 01:07:12.560
This first time I've ever even shared my photo.

829
01:07:14.240 --> 01:07:17.400
I'm thinking about putting it on Facebook

830
01:07:17.400 --> 01:07:22.400
so that I can figure out how to get into the dating apps.

831
01:07:23.120 --> 01:07:27.120
Is that what y'all do is y'all go from Facebook, dating?

832
01:07:27.120 --> 01:07:31.320
Yeah, I mean, some people do the apps,

833
01:07:31.320 --> 01:07:35.240
some people, depending on where they live,

834
01:07:35.240 --> 01:07:40.240
a lot of people even share with close family and friends

835
01:07:40.440 --> 01:07:44.000
like, hey, I'm open to be.

836
01:07:44.000 --> 01:07:45.680
Everybody around here knows.

837
01:07:45.680 --> 01:07:46.520
Okay, good.

838
01:07:46.520 --> 01:07:48.960
They've watched me go through a lot

839
01:07:49.080 --> 01:07:54.080
and finally get to a place where I'm actually thinking

840
01:07:54.080 --> 01:07:56.560
it might be possible that I could be in a relationship

841
01:07:56.560 --> 01:08:01.560
with someone, but it would definitely have to be someone

842
01:08:01.560 --> 01:08:05.640
that could handle a slower lifestyle.

843
01:08:05.640 --> 01:08:08.800
Everybody's so fit and into exercising,

844
01:08:08.800 --> 01:08:10.240
going places and things like that.

845
01:08:10.240 --> 01:08:13.000
And it's kind of hard for me to do that.

846
01:08:13.920 --> 01:08:17.680
I mean, I can go some, but I'm not sure

847
01:08:18.080 --> 01:08:21.000
I can go some, but it usually watched me out

848
01:08:21.000 --> 01:08:22.359
for a day or two.

849
01:08:22.359 --> 01:08:25.640
Well, I think you are doing like amazing

850
01:08:25.640 --> 01:08:27.200
by taking just that step.

851
01:08:27.200 --> 01:08:32.200
Like, I happened to see your response before we jumped on

852
01:08:33.600 --> 01:08:35.960
and I got excited because you were like

853
01:08:35.960 --> 01:08:39.399
that I haven't shared this time,

854
01:08:39.399 --> 01:08:41.720
but I feel God's kind of pressing me

855
01:08:41.720 --> 01:08:42.840
to start engaging more.

856
01:08:42.840 --> 01:08:46.319
And you, like God is highlighting that to you

857
01:08:46.319 --> 01:08:48.240
and that's the step you're taking.

858
01:08:48.240 --> 01:08:50.600
And so I don't want you to get to this place

859
01:08:50.600 --> 01:08:52.479
where you have to feel like you have to pressure yourself

860
01:08:52.479 --> 01:08:53.880
to this outcome.

861
01:08:53.880 --> 01:08:56.319
You are walking with God.

862
01:08:56.319 --> 01:08:58.920
God's writing your story.

863
01:08:58.920 --> 01:09:03.439
You are partnering with him and he is going to

864
01:09:03.439 --> 01:09:08.439
be that lamppost that's at your feet and lighten your path.

865
01:09:08.760 --> 01:09:12.200
And so you're just gonna take one day at a time

866
01:09:12.200 --> 01:09:15.600
and follow that piece.

867
01:09:15.600 --> 01:09:17.720
Don't put the pressure on yourself.

868
01:09:18.960 --> 01:09:22.279
Continue to stay rooted in that hope

869
01:09:22.279 --> 01:09:24.000
and gathering information.

870
01:09:24.000 --> 01:09:28.560
And we're here to walk this process through.

871
01:09:28.560 --> 01:09:29.399
That's great.

872
01:09:29.399 --> 01:09:30.479
I appreciate you, Karla.

873
01:09:30.479 --> 01:09:32.000
You're an awesome coach.

874
01:09:32.000 --> 01:09:37.000
And I was gonna ask, can we go to both classes on Tuesdays?

875
01:09:38.640 --> 01:09:39.479
Yes, I actually-

876
01:09:39.479 --> 01:09:41.279
Up to seven o'clock too?

877
01:09:41.279 --> 01:09:42.800
I, you know what, ladies,

878
01:09:42.800 --> 01:09:44.560
if you can make it to both calls,

879
01:09:44.560 --> 01:09:48.040
I always encourage it because, you know,

880
01:09:48.040 --> 01:09:52.040
there are like, Ebony and I,

881
01:09:52.040 --> 01:09:54.920
like we are so like,

882
01:09:54.920 --> 01:09:57.000
me and her still need to, while it's summer.

883
01:09:57.000 --> 01:09:59.120
You were on it seven o'clock.

884
01:09:59.120 --> 01:09:59.960
Yeah.

885
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:05.040
So she was traveling, but usually she does the evening one because she's a school teacher.

886
01:10:05.040 --> 01:10:09.760
And then I have my kids. And so my evening afternoons are typically running my kids around

887
01:10:09.760 --> 01:10:15.120
all their activities. And so it works out that way. But now it's summer. So she and I want to

888
01:10:15.120 --> 01:10:18.560
do one joint together. And I don't know, I'm hoping we'll be able to do that before the

889
01:10:18.560 --> 01:10:29.840
summer's over. But we teach from the same outline and content, but she's a different coach than I

890
01:10:29.840 --> 01:10:38.160
am. And so that's the cool thing about all of us coaches is that we all don't coach the same

891
01:10:38.800 --> 01:10:44.080
because not everyone learns the same. And so that's really helpful to get two different

892
01:10:44.080 --> 01:10:49.360
perspectives. And so I like it when you ladies can go to both because you're going to hear the

893
01:10:49.360 --> 01:10:55.120
information in two different ways. And then you're also going to hear different questions being asked

894
01:10:55.120 --> 01:10:59.920
at the end of the call. And so that's really helpful. And that's why I even say, okay,

895
01:10:59.920 --> 01:11:04.720
if you've made it to, let's say you make it to this call and you can't make it to the evenings.

896
01:11:04.720 --> 01:11:09.280
So when you go watch replays, go watch the evening replay. You've already been to this one. Hopefully

897
01:11:09.280 --> 01:11:13.280
you've taken some notes. And then you go watch the replay of the evening one that you might not

898
01:11:13.280 --> 01:11:18.320
have been able to make it to, or go to both if you can go to both, or maybe you can only go to

899
01:11:18.320 --> 01:11:23.520
the night one. Then hopefully ladies that are going to the evening call are watching the one

900
01:11:23.520 --> 01:11:28.160
o'clock in replay. They're sort of getting the same content, but it's being delivered a little

901
01:11:28.160 --> 01:11:34.800
bit differently. And then if you can't make it to either, really do your best to try to make

902
01:11:34.800 --> 01:11:40.800
time to watch both if you can. That's always my encouragement. And I know it seems like

903
01:11:41.360 --> 01:11:46.800
if you have time, again, you're partnering with God and God's going to highlight to you

904
01:11:47.600 --> 01:11:55.280
what action you need to do and what he wants you to listen to and hear. So trust that as well.

905
01:11:56.880 --> 01:12:04.720
So yeah, definitely go to night. Okay. You are welcome. Yes. Same. Hey, Susan, how are you?

906
01:12:05.520 --> 01:12:15.200
Hi, I'm good. Good. My questions are pretty easy. I love it. I've been in here forever. I'm like,

907
01:12:16.160 --> 01:12:22.720
okay, so when you match on apps and you start talking back and forth with a guy and then he

908
01:12:22.720 --> 01:12:28.080
just stops responding, how long did you use to wait before you would just unmatch him?

909
01:12:28.800 --> 01:12:37.360
I think it's like... Okay. So I use Facebook dating and I think I even use match.com.

910
01:12:38.800 --> 01:12:43.760
I'm on Facebook dating. Yeah. Honestly, I don't remember unmatching people.

911
01:12:44.480 --> 01:12:52.240
I just kept them in my inbox and if they didn't respond, I just left it there.

912
01:12:53.840 --> 01:12:57.360
And then I just didn't respond to it because there wasn't a new message.

913
01:12:58.240 --> 01:13:08.080
Yeah. Because I feel like they might have updated Facebook dating app from when I was dating. This

914
01:13:08.080 --> 01:13:17.280
was some four years ago. But if you unmatch someone, does it remove the conversation?

915
01:13:18.640 --> 01:13:23.680
No. Or yeah, it does. It clears them out. Yeah. I never wanted to remove the conversation

916
01:13:23.680 --> 01:13:27.120
because there were times that I was having conversations and I might not have responded

917
01:13:27.120 --> 01:13:34.720
to somebody. And then because I was a single mom, I was busy. So I didn't always have the time. And

918
01:13:34.800 --> 01:13:40.080
then I'd go back and go through my thing and be like, oh my gosh, I never responded to him.

919
01:13:40.960 --> 01:13:47.520
And then I'd go back and be like, hey, I apologize. And just say, hey, I apologize

920
01:13:47.520 --> 01:13:53.920
that it seemed like I ghosted you. I had a lot going on. And then I might drop a hanky and be

921
01:13:53.920 --> 01:14:00.640
like, so that we get off this app, do you have a free moment this week to either jump on a video

922
01:14:00.640 --> 01:14:07.760
call or meet up for coffee? And then I throw that out there. And sometimes they wouldn't respond

923
01:14:07.760 --> 01:14:12.880
because I waited too long to reply to them. And I understood that. I didn't take offense to that.

924
01:14:12.880 --> 01:14:20.400
And I also just trusted that God knew who I needed to go out on a date with and who I didn't.

925
01:14:20.960 --> 01:14:24.800
So if he was shutting the door, he was shutting the door. And I didn't even think twice about it.

926
01:14:25.360 --> 01:14:29.040
And then there were some times where the guys are really understanding

927
01:14:29.600 --> 01:14:34.960
and I would get a date out of it. So I never really unmatched people.

928
01:14:36.880 --> 01:14:40.960
So I don't know if that helps or. Yeah, it does. I mean, I could just leave it. And like,

929
01:14:40.960 --> 01:14:48.720
if he rejects what I do. But again, like be paying attention, like what's going on in

930
01:14:49.360 --> 01:14:56.880
inside you. And if you recognize like that's making you more anxious or more focused,

931
01:14:56.880 --> 01:14:59.760
hyper focused on something and that you think.

932
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:07.920
by unmatching them will actually help that like tendency to kind of focus there or

933
01:15:07.920 --> 01:15:15.680
release that anxiousness, then do that. But for me, that was that not unmatching them worked for me.

934
01:15:16.800 --> 01:15:23.200
Okay. Okay. Thanks. Okay. So now I have another question. Okay. Okay. So it's so weird because

935
01:15:23.200 --> 01:15:27.440
I've been used to the apps for so long. But now I'm like really starting to meet a lot of guys

936
01:15:27.440 --> 01:15:32.480
in person. Yeah. As I finally joined, like they opened this really nice, like upscale lifetime

937
01:15:32.480 --> 01:15:38.400
fitness by my house. And yeah, and so now I go there every day and thank God it's all young

938
01:15:38.400 --> 01:15:43.280
people because my other gym was like all old people. Well, there's a lot of young people,

939
01:15:43.280 --> 01:15:47.120
I would say. Girl, I used to live in Florida. That was all I was surrounded. I was never

940
01:15:47.120 --> 01:15:52.480
surrounded by people. Yeah. Never thought of Sarasota or something, wasn't it? Yeah. Yeah.

941
01:15:53.280 --> 01:16:00.880
That's funny. Yeah. So, um, it's funny. I met a guy at the pool. He was a guest. He doesn't

942
01:16:00.880 --> 01:16:06.720
actually even go to that gym, but he was a guest of a girl. I think who's his neighbor.

943
01:16:07.760 --> 01:16:11.760
She looked older. Like I wasn't getting the vibe that they liked each other at all.

944
01:16:11.760 --> 01:16:16.640
Okay. And I was just in the pool chilling, like on a Saturday. And then they came in and they're

945
01:16:16.640 --> 01:16:22.160
like playing volleyball. And then he kind of like asked me to join in. So like I join in

946
01:16:22.160 --> 01:16:26.640
and the other girls left. And then him and I just like ended up talking for like 20 or 30 minutes

947
01:16:26.640 --> 01:16:32.640
and like vibing. And he was sweet. And, um, then like, he's like, I'm going to go get a drink.

948
01:16:32.640 --> 01:16:36.960
You want a drink? And I'm like, no, I'm okay. So then he went and he sat down by his, which,

949
01:16:36.960 --> 01:16:41.440
I mean, I get it. Like they invited him. It would be rude for him to just like ditch them and just

950
01:16:41.440 --> 01:16:48.000
talk to me the whole time. So I, um, I like waited to see if he'd come back like 15 minutes.

951
01:16:48.000 --> 01:16:52.960
And then, um, he didn't and I was ready to leave. So I kind of got dressed and like caught his eye

952
01:16:52.960 --> 01:16:58.160
from a distance and just like waved. And then he kind of like came out towards the exit and was

953
01:16:58.160 --> 01:17:03.600
like, um, I don't have my phone on me, but, um, take my number down and text me or something.

954
01:17:03.600 --> 01:17:08.640
And I'm like, okay. So then I text him, Hey, nice meeting you. He's like, nice meeting you too.

955
01:17:09.200 --> 01:17:13.600
But then no one ever like reached out to each other. And now this morning I actually got a

956
01:17:13.600 --> 01:17:19.120
message from him. It's been like six weeks. Um, so I don't know, like if you guys have an opinion

957
01:17:19.120 --> 01:17:25.760
on something like that, but it was like, this is weird. I mean, again, I, I don't really ever

958
01:17:25.760 --> 01:17:34.000
focus so much on the timing. Like I meet someone and like, if I don't hear from him for six weeks,

959
01:17:34.000 --> 01:17:38.560
then I'm not going to sit there and try to super analyze it. And actually this is interesting

960
01:17:38.560 --> 01:17:43.600
because it's, this is actually reminds me of one of the girls that was in our community.

961
01:17:43.600 --> 01:17:48.320
I was actually just talking about her. I have a phone call with her on Friday to catch up with

962
01:17:48.320 --> 01:17:56.000
her. She's now married. She was living in Orlando. We were both Florida girls in this program in this

963
01:17:56.000 --> 01:18:02.000
community, and she's now married and living in Alabama. And, um, I was talking to my husband

964
01:18:02.000 --> 01:18:09.200
about her because there's just, yeah, we, we have, we, we have a friendship. And, and what was

965
01:18:09.920 --> 01:18:15.360
what I was telling my husband about, um, and reminding him of, cause my husband has not got

966
01:18:15.360 --> 01:18:21.920
the best memory. And I'm like, remember, like, she's the one that this and that, and he's like,

967
01:18:21.920 --> 01:18:31.600
oh, and I'm like, yeah, she's the one that she met her husband on. I think it was like a dating app

968
01:18:31.600 --> 01:18:41.360
or something. They went on a date. He ended up, they got along, but they were on dating apps and

969
01:18:41.360 --> 01:18:46.240
not exclusively dating each other. Like they were dating other people. He had happened to be dating

970
01:18:46.240 --> 01:18:53.600
someone else at the time too, because again, this was level two, nothing serious. And that was,

971
01:18:53.600 --> 01:18:59.040
he had another relationship that was progressing a little bit. And so he just came to that person,

972
01:18:59.040 --> 01:19:05.600
to that girl and was like, Hey, um, I want to be straightforward with you. I've enjoyed my time

973
01:19:05.600 --> 01:19:15.840
basically. And was like, however, I don't, I want to give this other person, um, my time and energy.

974
01:19:15.840 --> 01:19:19.520
Cause I think that might be going somewhere, but this is not like, it was basically like,

975
01:19:19.520 --> 01:19:22.320
it's like, this is not a dig at you. I just want to see where this goes.

976
01:19:22.320 --> 01:19:26.480
I hope you're not offended sort of thing. And she didn't take any offense to it. She's like, okay.

977
01:19:27.200 --> 01:19:32.240
And then like several months later, like, I think he might've reached back out to her or

978
01:19:32.240 --> 01:19:36.240
she might've saw him something, or he might've responded to some social media that I don't

979
01:19:36.240 --> 01:19:42.240
remember, but they reconnected and now they're married. So, I mean, like, that's what I'm saying.

980
01:19:42.240 --> 01:19:47.840
Like, I don't like you might meet someone and they, it might not be that moment where you're

981
01:19:47.840 --> 01:19:53.920
going to make that connection, but it might circle back and God might bring them back for

982
01:19:54.720 --> 01:19:56.640
a season or a purpose or something like that.

983
01:19:56.640 --> 01:19:59.840
I'm not saying that this guy is going to be your soul, your spirit.

984
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:06.320
it, mate, but we just don't know how God's going to use those people. And so if he messaged you

985
01:20:06.320 --> 01:20:11.040
after six weeks, just be like, Oh, hey, it's good to hear from you. Yeah. And then just pick up the

986
01:20:11.040 --> 01:20:20.080
conversation. Okay. I mean, that, that would be my, that's how I would handle it. Okay. Yeah.

987
01:20:20.080 --> 01:20:25.520
I'll keep you. Thank you. I'll keep you guys posted. He's like a lot younger than me too.

988
01:20:25.520 --> 01:20:31.840
So I'm like, Oh yeah, again, like you all ladies use all these opportunities as

989
01:20:32.480 --> 01:20:37.360
discovery dating moments. Remember you're not sitting here filtering through these people.

990
01:20:37.360 --> 01:20:44.720
Like, is he my husband? Is he not my husband? You are learning more about you. You're learning more

991
01:20:44.720 --> 01:20:51.440
about others. You're learning more about what you like, what you don't like. Like that's important.

992
01:20:51.440 --> 01:21:00.320
God is using this season to grow you. And so don't, don't get, don't get to that place where

993
01:21:00.320 --> 01:21:03.280
you're like, well, I hoped it would look like this, but then it doesn't. Do you see what I'm

994
01:21:03.280 --> 01:21:10.480
saying? Like, then we fall out of that partnership of hoping and discerning. Okay. So let's, I say,

995
01:21:10.480 --> 01:21:17.440
just, just keep rolling with it each day as it comes. Okay. Yeah. And then like just another

996
01:21:17.520 --> 01:21:22.720
30 second question, if it's okay. Yeah. You just let you guys say match people's energy. So like,

997
01:21:22.720 --> 01:21:28.240
I met this other guy at the gym and I could tell he was like really attracted to me. Like from a

998
01:21:28.240 --> 01:21:31.840
distance, he just kind of like smiled and waved and said like, hi, how are you? As he's like

999
01:21:31.840 --> 01:21:36.800
working out with a trainer. And then like, uh, the trainer told me that he asked about me like

1000
01:21:36.800 --> 01:21:41.120
later. He's like, who was that? Then the next week I was there. Cause I'm like, yeah, he's like cute.

1001
01:21:41.120 --> 01:21:45.200
I'm really interested. And we exchanged numbers on Friday, but it's kind of weird. Cause he'll

1002
01:21:45.200 --> 01:21:50.560
text me and then like, he'll send like one or two texts and then he just like kind of disappears.

1003
01:21:51.280 --> 01:21:55.920
And I'm like, that's weird. And then I like ran in, he texts me yesterday at like three o'clock

1004
01:21:55.920 --> 01:21:59.600
that I ran into him at the gym at five. And he was like, Hey, give me a hug. And he's like,

1005
01:21:59.600 --> 01:22:03.360
so sweet and so friendly, but it's the weirdest thing. Cause he's a bad texter. Like then he

1006
01:22:03.360 --> 01:22:08.800
never texts me back from the text he sent me. And this is might be where again, ladies,

1007
01:22:08.800 --> 01:22:14.320
like some guys are just not great at texting. They just aren't. Um, and so sometimes it might

1008
01:22:14.400 --> 01:22:18.640
feel like you kind of have to take charge. And so you might have to kind of just

1009
01:22:20.000 --> 01:22:29.520
throw it out there. Like, Hey, let's go play pickleball. Let's go bolt. Like let's go grab

1010
01:22:29.520 --> 01:22:36.640
coffee, like something. And then, but you just don't want to continue to carry that. Like you

1011
01:22:36.640 --> 01:22:42.800
might have to be the one that initiated first to kind of let him know, like, Hey, I'd like to hang

1012
01:22:42.800 --> 01:22:48.560
out. And so just this random text every now and then, or this, Hey, I see you at the gym. Give me

1013
01:22:48.560 --> 01:22:55.280
a hug. No. Um, like, yeah. Then gather information from that. Yeah. I mean, cause granted, so we just

1014
01:22:55.280 --> 01:22:59.280
exchanged numbers on Friday. So it hasn't been that long. He asked me Saturday, like, how's your

1015
01:22:59.280 --> 01:23:02.960
weekend shaping up? And I don't know if that was his way of like asking me if I was, and I said,

1016
01:23:02.960 --> 01:23:06.960
all my, all my friends are like working or out of town. So I'm just having me time. And then he

1017
01:23:06.960 --> 01:23:13.680
disappeared until Monday. That might've been like, Oh, she just wants to spend time alone.

1018
01:23:13.680 --> 01:23:17.120
So I'm not going to ask her to do anything this weekend. Yeah. You see what I'm saying?

1019
01:23:18.640 --> 01:23:22.640
Keep the conversations open again. We're not, we, you don't need to rush anything.

1020
01:23:22.640 --> 01:23:31.040
Yeah. It's just let things naturally unfold. Okay. Okay. Thank you. You're welcome. Hey,

1021
01:23:31.040 --> 01:23:37.520
Cynthia, how are you? I've been thinking about you. Hi there. Let me see if I can switch my

1022
01:23:37.520 --> 01:23:43.920
video on. I hope you can hear me. I'm on this balcony. It's really loud. I can hear you.

1023
01:23:43.920 --> 01:23:50.240
Perfect. Busy street. Okay, great. Thank you. Yeah. I just, um, thank you for being interested.

1024
01:23:50.240 --> 01:23:58.320
Yeah. I just wanted to give you an update. So, um, uh, so we agreed that it took me,

1025
01:23:58.320 --> 01:24:06.160
that we were gonna, um, spend his six week school summer holiday together in, uh, Germany where I

1026
01:24:06.160 --> 01:24:13.280
live. So he's come over from Britain. Yeah. And then, um, the idea being that then in September,

1027
01:24:13.280 --> 01:24:20.560
when he goes back to work that I've got the months off to go, uh, to live near him. Uh,

1028
01:24:20.560 --> 01:24:23.840
and it's worked out really well with the accommodation. Uh, he's got an apartment

1029
01:24:23.840 --> 01:24:27.840
that's like literally two minutes from where I live and it's affordable because it's actually

1030
01:24:27.840 --> 01:24:34.400
belongs to a friend of mine who had to go away unexpectedly. And so it's top of her with the

1031
01:24:34.400 --> 01:24:40.240
rent and it's right in the center of Berlin. It's amazing. Um, look at that. Just does that.

1032
01:24:40.240 --> 01:24:47.440
How amazing is that? Yeah. And then it's really important to him to go to the gym and you don't

1033
01:24:47.440 --> 01:24:54.720
normally get like, um, a six week access to the gym. It's always like minimum six months or

1034
01:24:54.720 --> 01:25:00.000
whatever contract. And so when I started Googling it, I just found that one that's

1035
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:05.880
So one of the really nice clubs, uh, gyms, um, I mean, quite posh, way too expensive.

1036
01:25:05.880 --> 01:25:10.240
Normally I would think to pay every month for a year, they were doing a special

1037
01:25:10.240 --> 01:25:12.440
offer just for six weeks over the summer.

1038
01:25:13.360 --> 01:25:17.320
And, uh, look at God, look at God, like favor.

1039
01:25:17.320 --> 01:25:18.600
That's just, I love it.

1040
01:25:18.960 --> 01:25:19.320
Yes.

1041
01:25:19.320 --> 01:25:23.360
And we've, we've both got these, these members, these six week membership.

1042
01:25:23.680 --> 01:25:27.040
We're going, uh, yeah, wellness area.

1043
01:25:27.040 --> 01:25:28.800
And so we'd go to the gym every day.

1044
01:25:29.480 --> 01:25:30.480
I love it.

1045
01:25:31.200 --> 01:25:31.600
Yeah.

1046
01:25:31.640 --> 01:25:35.920
But I feel like that's especially, I've got to wink at him because I'm

1047
01:25:35.920 --> 01:25:37.880
working quite a bit at the time.

1048
01:25:37.880 --> 01:25:40.360
Whereas he's then on his own in that time.

1049
01:25:40.400 --> 01:25:44.560
And so it's, it's really nice, uh, for him and he's, you know, going

1050
01:25:44.560 --> 01:25:47.480
shopping and cooking and all that kind of stuff.

1051
01:25:47.480 --> 01:25:51.640
So, um, we've had quite a few disagreements along the way.

1052
01:25:52.120 --> 01:25:54.240
Um, and that's going to happen and that's good.

1053
01:25:54.240 --> 01:25:55.280
You want to say that?

1054
01:25:55.720 --> 01:25:56.720
Yeah, that's good.

1055
01:25:56.760 --> 01:25:57.240
Yeah.

1056
01:25:58.080 --> 01:26:02.240
Ladies, that's, I want you to hear this ladies, just because once you find

1057
01:26:02.240 --> 01:26:06.200
someone and you're dating them exclusively, just because we've done

1058
01:26:06.200 --> 01:26:10.280
heartwork, doesn't mean that you're not going to have disagreements with your

1059
01:26:10.280 --> 01:26:15.640
future spouse or someone that you'll marry down the road, or someone that you

1060
01:26:15.880 --> 01:26:18.440
are in relationship with that may or may not be your spirit mate.

1061
01:26:19.440 --> 01:26:22.000
Y'all I've been married for now almost three years.

1062
01:26:22.360 --> 01:26:25.200
My husband and I get into disagreements.

1063
01:26:25.720 --> 01:26:26.640
We're different.

1064
01:26:26.920 --> 01:26:29.280
We're different human beings, right?

1065
01:26:29.600 --> 01:26:31.480
It's two becoming one.

1066
01:26:31.840 --> 01:26:35.000
And that is not easy.

1067
01:26:35.200 --> 01:26:39.000
Like it is a mature maturity process.

1068
01:26:39.240 --> 01:26:44.880
And so I love that you're getting to experience disagreements because now you

1069
01:26:44.880 --> 01:26:50.560
get to walk through and learn and how to navigate that because you're

1070
01:26:50.560 --> 01:26:53.040
going to have some bumps.

1071
01:26:54.040 --> 01:26:58.800
There's going to be things that will get highlighted in areas that you will

1072
01:26:58.800 --> 01:27:05.400
see, you will still work on healing individually that will get highlighted

1073
01:27:05.440 --> 01:27:08.560
those disagreements and he will see the same thing.

1074
01:27:08.800 --> 01:27:13.000
And so in this process, you'll be working on yourself, but you're also going to be

1075
01:27:13.000 --> 01:27:16.920
gathering information of how's he responding to this?

1076
01:27:16.960 --> 01:27:19.120
Are we working together as a team?

1077
01:27:19.880 --> 01:27:21.640
And are we growing together?

1078
01:27:21.880 --> 01:27:23.960
Are we both leaning on the Lord?

1079
01:27:24.000 --> 01:27:26.840
Even though it doesn't always look the same, doesn't.

1080
01:27:26.880 --> 01:27:29.480
I mean, there's times where I'm like, honey, God told me this.

1081
01:27:29.480 --> 01:27:30.760
And he's like, well, God didn't tell me that.

1082
01:27:30.760 --> 01:27:34.160
And I'm like, okay, well maybe, maybe you should pray a little longer.

1083
01:27:35.160 --> 01:27:36.400
And then like, you know what I'm saying?

1084
01:27:36.400 --> 01:27:39.720
Like, and then there's times like God like does end up telling me and I'm like,

1085
01:27:39.760 --> 01:27:41.840
oh, okay, I just heard you wrong.

1086
01:27:41.840 --> 01:27:47.360
But you know, like we work through disagreements and we're growing together

1087
01:27:47.360 --> 01:27:49.960
in Christ doesn't mean it's easy.

1088
01:27:50.920 --> 01:27:52.840
But yeah, that is going to happen.

1089
01:27:52.840 --> 01:27:58.600
So, um, ladies, Cynthia, for those of you that might be brand new to phase two, um,

1090
01:27:58.640 --> 01:28:02.120
she is an exclusive, uh, level three relationship.

1091
01:28:02.160 --> 01:28:02.480
Okay.

1092
01:28:02.480 --> 01:28:04.240
So she's been in that for about two years.

1093
01:28:04.280 --> 01:28:10.200
So this coaching will look a little different for her because she's spent

1094
01:28:10.200 --> 01:28:11.440
some time with this gentleman.

1095
01:28:11.560 --> 01:28:11.920
Okay.

1096
01:28:11.960 --> 01:28:17.160
So, and she and I've had some one-on-ones and she's, she's doing a fantastic job.

1097
01:28:17.160 --> 01:28:19.280
So, um, so that's good.

1098
01:28:19.280 --> 01:28:20.720
So you're having some disagreements.

1099
01:28:21.800 --> 01:28:22.240
Yeah.

1100
01:28:22.320 --> 01:28:22.760
Right.

1101
01:28:23.040 --> 01:28:26.320
We actually, we, we had disagreements, you know, throughout the two year

1102
01:28:26.320 --> 01:28:32.120
relationship at times, but I feel like at the moment, um, they're just little

1103
01:28:32.120 --> 01:28:39.480
things, little everyday things, but I feel like it's been better because that rather

1104
01:28:39.480 --> 01:28:46.560
than getting into like explosive arguments, it's more, um, a quick

1105
01:28:46.600 --> 01:28:47.400
disagreement.

1106
01:28:47.440 --> 01:28:50.840
And then we talked, managed to talk about it afterwards in a way that I've actually

1107
01:28:50.840 --> 01:28:55.200
found quite constructive because I'm kind of looking to how can we avoid this in the

1108
01:28:55.200 --> 01:28:58.760
future potentially, or how can I get to know you better so that I know not to do

1109
01:28:58.760 --> 01:29:00.200
that or not to respond in this way.

1110
01:29:00.440 --> 01:29:01.240
Cause you don't like that.

1111
01:29:01.240 --> 01:29:03.640
That annoys you, that triggers you or vice versa.

1112
01:29:04.160 --> 01:29:05.840
Yeah, that's good.

1113
01:29:05.840 --> 01:29:08.120
So I actually find that kind of quite helpful.

1114
01:29:08.680 --> 01:29:12.800
My underlying thing is, is still, I feel like a broken record to myself.

1115
01:29:12.800 --> 01:29:15.120
I don't talk about it to him all the time because I don't want to hurt him.

1116
01:29:15.720 --> 01:29:16.000
Yeah.

1117
01:29:16.000 --> 01:29:19.680
It's my, just my question, my big question mark.

1118
01:29:20.000 --> 01:29:20.880
Do I love him?

1119
01:29:20.880 --> 01:29:22.560
It's just like so fundamental.

1120
01:29:22.560 --> 01:29:24.440
And I think so simple.

1121
01:29:24.440 --> 01:29:26.080
I think, why would I not know?

1122
01:29:26.520 --> 01:29:29.880
Um, but it's like, yeah, go ahead.

1123
01:29:29.880 --> 01:29:32.040
Can I imagine spending the rest of my life with him?

1124
01:29:32.040 --> 01:29:33.120
And I just don't know.

1125
01:29:33.520 --> 01:29:37.480
And that stressed me out because I just think, oh, you know, ending it after all

1126
01:29:37.480 --> 01:29:44.280
this time and then this big commitment of time now and everybody back home, uh, you

1127
01:29:44.280 --> 01:29:49.000
know, at his church, at my church, kind of cheering you on and praying and, you

1128
01:29:49.000 --> 01:29:52.120
know, cause we've sort of made this move and we're spending all this time together.

1129
01:29:52.640 --> 01:29:54.920
It feels like, I think everyone thinks, oh yeah, great.

1130
01:29:54.960 --> 01:29:58.080
You know, a lot of people already thought we were engaged.

1131
01:29:58.080 --> 01:30:00.000
I said, no, no, no, no, no, we're not actually engaged yet.

1132
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:05.000
So, yeah, you still got that question.

1133
01:30:05.000 --> 01:30:06.000
Yeah.

1134
01:30:06.000 --> 01:30:07.000
Yep.

1135
01:30:07.000 --> 01:30:08.000
Yeah.

1136
01:30:08.000 --> 01:30:10.000
So, this is what I'm going to, I'm going to prompt you with, okay?

1137
01:30:10.000 --> 01:30:12.000
I'm going to ask you this question back.

1138
01:30:12.000 --> 01:30:13.000
Okay.

1139
01:30:13.000 --> 01:30:14.000
Okay.

1140
01:30:14.000 --> 01:30:15.000
Yeah.

1141
01:30:15.000 --> 01:30:16.000
That question, do I love him?

1142
01:30:16.000 --> 01:30:19.000
Do I actually love him?

1143
01:30:19.000 --> 01:30:22.000
What's it rooted in?

1144
01:30:22.000 --> 01:30:25.000
Is it rooted in fear?

1145
01:30:25.000 --> 01:30:31.000
Is it rooted in fear?

1146
01:30:31.000 --> 01:30:37.000
Is it rooted in fear?

1147
01:30:37.000 --> 01:30:41.000
You answered that question.

1148
01:30:41.000 --> 01:30:47.000
Does it give you a scary outcome or a pleasant outcome?

1149
01:30:47.000 --> 01:30:52.000
If it's something that scares you, that's coming from fear.

1150
01:30:52.000 --> 01:30:53.000
You're worried.

1151
01:30:53.000 --> 01:30:54.000
Okay.

1152
01:30:54.000 --> 01:30:55.000
There's anxiousness.

1153
01:30:55.000 --> 01:30:56.000
There's worry.

1154
01:30:56.000 --> 01:30:59.000
Like, how do I know?

1155
01:30:59.000 --> 01:31:00.000
Okay.

1156
01:31:00.000 --> 01:31:01.000
What?

1157
01:31:01.000 --> 01:31:13.000
So, if it's rooted in that, we need to go spend time with the Lord and unpack where did that

1158
01:31:13.000 --> 01:31:16.000
root get planted?

1159
01:31:16.000 --> 01:31:18.000
Like, where was that seed planted?

1160
01:31:18.000 --> 01:31:21.000
Okay.

1161
01:31:21.000 --> 01:31:22.000
Okay.

1162
01:31:22.000 --> 01:31:31.000
So, if it's fear, like, if the outcome, it seems scary, why?

1163
01:31:31.000 --> 01:31:38.000
What, what, what am I, what is something that maybe happened that is allowing my body to

1164
01:31:38.000 --> 01:31:46.000
stay in this response, this fearful response and work through that?

1165
01:31:47.000 --> 01:31:48.000
I'm sorry.

1166
01:31:48.000 --> 01:31:53.000
When you say the outcome, you mean the outcome of the relationship or the outcome of that

1167
01:31:53.000 --> 01:31:54.000
question?

1168
01:31:54.000 --> 01:31:55.000
Do I love him?

1169
01:31:55.000 --> 01:31:59.000
That outcome of that question, does that not also kind of go with the outcome of what you're

1170
01:31:59.000 --> 01:32:00.000
going to decide?

1171
01:32:00.000 --> 01:32:01.000
That's true.

1172
01:32:01.000 --> 01:32:02.000
Yeah.

1173
01:32:02.000 --> 01:32:03.000
Yeah.

1174
01:32:03.000 --> 01:32:06.000
So, I mean, what's that, like, that outcome?

1175
01:32:06.000 --> 01:32:14.000
What's, is that question put fear in you and scare you what that could look like?

1176
01:32:14.000 --> 01:32:22.000
Or does it, that question bring you excitement and like joy and peace?

1177
01:32:22.000 --> 01:32:23.000
Like.

1178
01:32:23.000 --> 01:32:25.000
No, it brings me more fear.

1179
01:32:25.000 --> 01:32:26.000
Yeah.

1180
01:32:26.000 --> 01:32:32.000
So, that's where I think this is, this is more about, we've got to, I want you to start

1181
01:32:32.000 --> 01:32:41.000
practice, like, spending time with the Lord of really trying to get to that root of where

1182
01:32:41.000 --> 01:32:44.000
that fear came from.

1183
01:32:44.000 --> 01:32:49.000
Like, on the surface, yes, this is about the relationship.

1184
01:32:49.000 --> 01:32:52.000
This is about your relationship with him and where do you go?

1185
01:32:52.000 --> 01:32:59.000
But I think God is saying, that's the surface, that's the situation I'm bringing to you so

1186
01:32:59.000 --> 01:33:05.000
we go deeper and heal something underneath the surface.

1187
01:33:06.000 --> 01:33:21.000
So, pray about what is it that you need to maybe release or have courage to look at in

1188
01:33:21.000 --> 01:33:31.000
order to open up and see what God wants to show you about where that root of fear came

1189
01:33:31.000 --> 01:33:32.000
and heal.

1190
01:33:33.000 --> 01:33:35.000
Does that make sense?

1191
01:33:40.000 --> 01:33:41.000
I think so.

1192
01:33:41.000 --> 01:33:42.000
So, it's not.

1193
01:33:42.000 --> 01:33:43.000
Is there some resistance?

1194
01:33:43.000 --> 01:33:45.000
Is there some resistance there?

1195
01:33:49.000 --> 01:33:51.000
So, rooted in fear.

1196
01:33:51.000 --> 01:33:55.000
So, it's not looking, okay, what is it that I'm afraid of?

1197
01:33:55.000 --> 01:33:57.000
No, I guess it's partly that too, right?

1198
01:33:58.000 --> 01:34:02.000
Um, okay.

1199
01:34:08.000 --> 01:34:18.000
Let's, okay, I'm feeling, I'm wondering if we, if I explain it this way.

1200
01:34:18.000 --> 01:34:23.000
I don't want you looking at this question as a question to be like, there's a right

1201
01:34:23.000 --> 01:34:24.000
or no answer.

1202
01:34:25.000 --> 01:34:35.000
It's more of a question that opens your mind up to start the process of working, like having

1203
01:34:35.000 --> 01:34:37.000
a conversation with God.

1204
01:34:37.000 --> 01:34:40.000
You're not, you're not being given an answer.

1205
01:34:40.000 --> 01:34:45.000
So, you're given a one or two sentence statement of this is the answer, okay?

1206
01:34:45.000 --> 01:34:59.000
This is a deeper, let me, let me really now kind of really connect and it's more of a

1207
01:34:59.000 --> 01:35:00.000
relational question.

1208
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:07.480
question, like where you're having that relationship with the Lord, with Jesus, and like, help

1209
01:35:07.480 --> 01:35:10.680
me understand myself.

1210
01:35:10.680 --> 01:35:11.680
Where were you?

1211
01:35:11.680 --> 01:35:12.680
Where was I?

1212
01:35:12.680 --> 01:35:13.680
What was this look like?

1213
01:35:13.680 --> 01:35:22.000
Where does this, you know, like have him help take you through that memory, that process?

1214
01:35:22.000 --> 01:35:23.000
What surfaces?

1215
01:35:23.000 --> 01:35:26.200
Again, you're not going to control this.

1216
01:35:26.200 --> 01:35:28.920
This is a release of control too.

1217
01:35:28.920 --> 01:35:32.600
I think you're, you're holding on to like wanting just to have the outcome.

1218
01:35:32.600 --> 01:35:35.320
You want that certainty.

1219
01:35:35.320 --> 01:35:39.480
So now you're wanting that, well, I need to know how to answer this question, Carla.

1220
01:35:39.480 --> 01:35:44.640
Well, there's no certainty with that question because Holy Spirit's coming in.

1221
01:35:44.640 --> 01:35:48.440
Holy Spirit is here to direct you.

1222
01:35:48.440 --> 01:35:51.080
So I don't know what that looks like for you.

1223
01:35:51.080 --> 01:35:52.840
He does.

1224
01:35:52.840 --> 01:36:00.360
And so that's where it's going to be that intimate time with him to see what unfolds.

1225
01:36:00.360 --> 01:36:05.360
It's like, um, it's like when you open a journal and you have like, I don't know where to start.

1226
01:36:05.360 --> 01:36:06.360
I don't know where to start writing.

1227
01:36:06.360 --> 01:36:09.160
And I just want you to start writing.

1228
01:36:09.160 --> 01:36:15.160
I mean, y'all like I used, I used to not be a writer.

1229
01:36:15.160 --> 01:36:19.840
Now when I go to my journal every day, my kids think this is crazy.

1230
01:36:19.840 --> 01:36:23.920
I'm writing like 10 to 15 pages journaling.

1231
01:36:23.920 --> 01:36:28.760
Like that's how much my mind, like God is just speaking to me and through me, I'm speaking

1232
01:36:28.760 --> 01:36:29.760
to him.

1233
01:36:29.760 --> 01:36:30.760
He's speaking to me.

1234
01:36:30.760 --> 01:36:34.520
It's like this, like I'm always just having dialogue and I'm getting it out.

1235
01:36:34.520 --> 01:36:36.880
Like sometimes I can't write fast enough.

1236
01:36:36.880 --> 01:36:41.320
So sometimes I have to go record my voice cause I have to talk through it.

1237
01:36:41.320 --> 01:36:47.120
So if that works for you and then I'm like, okay, then I pull the transcript.

1238
01:36:47.120 --> 01:36:52.280
I record my voice and then I'm like, I need to see the transcript.

1239
01:36:52.280 --> 01:36:53.280
So that helps.

1240
01:36:53.280 --> 01:36:58.400
I don't like, I've just learned through the years how to like what works for me in my

1241
01:36:58.400 --> 01:37:00.320
processing with the Lord.

1242
01:37:00.320 --> 01:37:07.720
And so I don't want you to be focused so much on the outcome of what does the question answer,

1243
01:37:07.720 --> 01:37:13.000
but more of Lord, I'm going to release and surrender the outcome to you and you're just

1244
01:37:13.000 --> 01:37:14.080
going to reveal things.

1245
01:37:14.080 --> 01:37:24.000
And it might, it might be a series of moments with him over the next several weeks or, you

1246
01:37:24.000 --> 01:37:28.040
know, while you're still in Germany and maybe as you transition and you move over, you know,

1247
01:37:28.040 --> 01:37:33.800
you move over to Britain, like you're still like spending time in intimate relationship

1248
01:37:33.800 --> 01:37:36.560
with the Lord.

1249
01:37:36.560 --> 01:37:43.760
And these are questions that you're just thinking of like, okay, what's this, this fear, where

1250
01:37:44.440 --> 01:37:45.440
does that come from?

1251
01:37:45.440 --> 01:37:49.560
What's, is there some resistance here, Lord, what do you want to speak to me?

1252
01:37:49.560 --> 01:37:52.320
What's coming to my mind?

1253
01:37:52.320 --> 01:37:53.320
What are you like?

1254
01:37:53.320 --> 01:38:00.960
God will literally put ideas and memories and thoughts into our head.

1255
01:38:00.960 --> 01:38:08.600
And once we start processing that out, he will easily start interweaving.

1256
01:38:08.600 --> 01:38:10.680
It's just us slowing down.

1257
01:38:10.680 --> 01:38:11.680
Oh, that's as good.

1258
01:38:11.680 --> 01:38:12.680
Thank you, Jesus.

1259
01:38:12.680 --> 01:38:23.280
This was something that was definitely surfacing over the last couple of weeks.

1260
01:38:23.280 --> 01:38:28.520
Sometimes we can't, we don't think what we can hear God.

1261
01:38:28.520 --> 01:38:38.240
He's not, not speaking to us because we don't slow down and sit still enough to actually

1262
01:38:38.240 --> 01:38:39.760
listen to him.

1263
01:38:39.760 --> 01:38:40.760
Yeah.

1264
01:38:40.840 --> 01:38:52.760
Like I think about, um, and I think it's first Samuel where he gets woken up and he goes

1265
01:38:52.760 --> 01:38:55.440
like, Hey, did you call me?

1266
01:38:55.440 --> 01:38:56.920
Did you call me?

1267
01:38:56.920 --> 01:39:01.680
And he's like, no, like, and it's like, but it's God calling him.

1268
01:39:01.680 --> 01:39:06.440
And so finally, like after waking him up several times, he's like, okay, like if he wakes you

1269
01:39:06.440 --> 01:39:15.360
up again, you say, okay, speak Lord, your servants listening, right?

1270
01:39:15.360 --> 01:39:19.280
It's being able to sit in that quiet.

1271
01:39:19.280 --> 01:39:20.280
Go back.

1272
01:39:20.280 --> 01:39:21.280
I don't know.

1273
01:39:21.280 --> 01:39:22.360
Did you watch any of the replays from last week?

1274
01:39:22.360 --> 01:39:29.120
The anchor, the storm being anchored, go back and watch Supernatural Saturday or the check

1275
01:39:29.120 --> 01:39:30.120
in.

1276
01:39:30.120 --> 01:39:31.120
No, the Tuesday.

1277
01:39:31.120 --> 01:39:33.480
Go back to Tuesday's one o'clock session.

1278
01:39:33.480 --> 01:39:40.480
That one, I think, um, the teaching at the one o'clock session was really powerful.

1279
01:39:40.480 --> 01:39:41.480
Right.

1280
01:39:41.480 --> 01:39:44.760
Go back and look into the later world.

1281
01:39:44.760 --> 01:39:45.760
Back to that teaching.

1282
01:39:45.760 --> 01:39:46.760
Yeah.

1283
01:39:46.760 --> 01:39:47.760
No.

1284
01:39:47.760 --> 01:39:48.760
And I get, yeah.

1285
01:39:48.760 --> 01:39:53.720
But go back to that teaching with that stillness as well.

1286
01:39:53.720 --> 01:39:58.800
I think what we taught last week, what we taught this week, and there may be some things

1287
01:39:58.800 --> 01:39:59.920
that we taught the week before.

1288
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:07.440
I love how our teachings each week, they do kind of layer on top of one another.

1289
01:40:07.440 --> 01:40:10.920
Cause that's how I just think that's how Holy Spirit moves in our community.

1290
01:40:11.780 --> 01:40:12.060
Yeah.

1291
01:40:12.420 --> 01:40:17.740
Like it is really supernatural and even what coat, you know, what Jackie kind of

1292
01:40:17.740 --> 01:40:24.620
coaches and teaches us on Supernatural Saturday, but yeah, it's sitting still

1293
01:40:24.620 --> 01:40:32.920
long enough to where you're not, your voice isn't the one that's overpowering

1294
01:40:32.920 --> 01:40:37.220
God, but you're sitting quietly and you're listening and you're sitting

1295
01:40:37.220 --> 01:40:38.060
still with that.

1296
01:40:43.440 --> 01:40:43.740
Yeah.

1297
01:40:43.820 --> 01:40:44.260
Okay.

1298
01:40:44.700 --> 01:40:52.980
I was kind of, um, Ebony has encouraged me to just be still, um, and start

1299
01:40:52.980 --> 01:40:55.580
listening to God and I started doing that and it was really good.

1300
01:40:55.980 --> 01:40:56.460
Yeah.

1301
01:40:56.500 --> 01:40:58.460
So that's God right there.

1302
01:40:58.460 --> 01:40:59.820
And that's like, look at that.

1303
01:40:59.820 --> 01:41:01.740
Ebony has been telling you that too, girl.

1304
01:41:03.180 --> 01:41:05.340
That was like about three, four weeks ago now.

1305
01:41:05.340 --> 01:41:07.060
And that was the confirmation, right?

1306
01:41:07.060 --> 01:41:09.340
They did the, the 1pm.

1307
01:41:09.900 --> 01:41:13.220
Uh, cause you were, uh, your son was playing baseball.

1308
01:41:14.180 --> 01:41:15.620
Um, yeah.

1309
01:41:15.620 --> 01:41:16.540
And so that was then.

1310
01:41:16.540 --> 01:41:20.860
And I, so for a few weeks I really benefited from that, but I've just,

1311
01:41:20.980 --> 01:41:29.300
since we've come back and, um, so Trix is on holiday, but I'm working so, and he's

1312
01:41:29.300 --> 01:41:31.940
in my city, he doesn't speak the language.

1313
01:41:31.980 --> 01:41:37.980
And so I've trying to, um, you know, I feel like I don't want to leave him on

1314
01:41:37.980 --> 01:41:42.340
his own too much, um, because he's only really here for my benefit.

1315
01:41:43.020 --> 01:41:45.020
So I'm somehow super busy.

1316
01:41:45.020 --> 01:41:50.260
And then yesterday also, so my, my roommate of more than 20 years has

1317
01:41:50.260 --> 01:41:53.780
been very ill recently and yesterday she got a cancer diagnosis.

1318
01:41:54.260 --> 01:41:57.220
So I feel a bit like I'm reeling.

1319
01:41:58.500 --> 01:42:02.500
Um, and so now I'm thinking, well, I want to be there for him.

1320
01:42:02.500 --> 01:42:06.460
Then I want to be there for her, but I also need to do my, find my own decision.

1321
01:42:06.500 --> 01:42:07.860
I need to get my work done.

1322
01:42:08.260 --> 01:42:10.700
And then all the practicalities of organizing stuff.

1323
01:42:11.140 --> 01:42:12.420
Um, so it's a bit.

1324
01:42:13.060 --> 01:42:13.380
Yeah.

1325
01:42:13.580 --> 01:42:15.260
The whole being quiet before God.

1326
01:42:15.500 --> 01:42:19.580
Just caring for yourself and being able to sit in that presence of the Lord

1327
01:42:19.580 --> 01:42:21.500
and just not neglecting yourself.

1328
01:42:22.180 --> 01:42:23.980
You know, that's important.

1329
01:42:24.380 --> 01:42:24.660
Yeah.

1330
01:42:24.660 --> 01:42:30.860
But I, I think that be still part is part of that confirmation and that will help

1331
01:42:30.860 --> 01:42:35.140
you release that needing to have certainty of the outcome of what that

1332
01:42:35.140 --> 01:42:40.340
conversation, that question, the answer to that question, the outcome

1333
01:42:40.340 --> 01:42:41.620
of the answer to that question.

1334
01:42:42.260 --> 01:42:42.580
Yeah.

1335
01:42:43.260 --> 01:42:44.020
You're releasing that.

1336
01:42:44.020 --> 01:42:46.740
And you're going to sit quietly with the Lord and you're just going to spend

1337
01:42:46.740 --> 01:42:51.260
time as he just has things naturally unfold.

1338
01:42:52.060 --> 01:42:53.780
It's not something you're going to find out right away.

1339
01:42:53.780 --> 01:42:55.420
It's just over time.

1340
01:42:55.460 --> 01:43:03.900
You are now going to be seeking him to show you the discernment, the

1341
01:43:03.900 --> 01:43:07.700
information, and then you're going to use that information and that's what's

1342
01:43:07.700 --> 01:43:11.460
going to help you recognize the answer to that question.

1343
01:43:12.580 --> 01:43:17.020
But you're also going to focus on, well, when I'm asking this question and I'm

1344
01:43:17.020 --> 01:43:24.020
going down this, like, I have to answer it and I need to know that's your, now

1345
01:43:24.020 --> 01:43:28.940
you're going into the fear projection, that anxious worry, and that's what.

1346
01:43:29.820 --> 01:43:31.100
That's what we got to cast out.

1347
01:43:31.140 --> 01:43:37.500
We're not, that's not, that's not a God, Godly, um, mind, right.

1348
01:43:38.340 --> 01:43:40.620
That's operating differently.

1349
01:43:41.340 --> 01:43:43.500
Um, I want you to sit with that.

1350
01:43:43.500 --> 01:43:44.580
Keep us posted.

1351
01:43:44.900 --> 01:43:45.460
Okay.

1352
01:43:46.020 --> 01:43:47.580
Thank you for coming and giving the update.

1353
01:43:47.580 --> 01:43:49.740
I've been, like I said, I've been thinking about you, so I appreciate it.

1354
01:43:50.220 --> 01:43:53.100
Um, Audrey, I do see your hand up, Audrey.

1355
01:43:53.140 --> 01:43:55.500
Um, it, we are like 15 minutes past time.

1356
01:43:55.860 --> 01:44:00.420
Are you able to post that, your question in our app?

1357
01:44:00.460 --> 01:44:04.460
And I will look at that today for you.

1358
01:44:08.300 --> 01:44:09.380
Okay, perfect.

1359
01:44:09.380 --> 01:44:11.100
I will, I will keep my eyes out for that.

1360
01:44:11.100 --> 01:44:12.740
Don't, don't feel like you have to rush that.

1361
01:44:12.740 --> 01:44:16.980
Just whenever you have time to, um, type out your question and share the

1362
01:44:16.980 --> 01:44:21.540
information, um, I will keep my eyes out, um, for that.

1363
01:44:21.580 --> 01:44:22.460
Okay, ladies.

1364
01:44:22.700 --> 01:44:32.020
Um, let me go ahead and pray for us and, um, yeah, I think I covered everything.

1365
01:44:32.260 --> 01:44:32.940
Yes, I did.

1366
01:44:33.100 --> 01:44:33.580
Okay.

1367
01:44:33.660 --> 01:44:35.740
Let me go ahead and pray for us real quick.

1368
01:44:35.780 --> 01:44:38.020
And then, um, yeah.

1369
01:44:38.820 --> 01:44:39.180
All right.

1370
01:44:39.180 --> 01:44:43.060
Heavenly father, I just thank you so much for this time together today.

1371
01:44:43.100 --> 01:44:48.780
Lord, thank you for your faithfulness, your kindness, and just how your, your

1372
01:44:48.780 --> 01:44:57.740
presence is always here to lead us and to guide us, um, not to always see the,

1373
01:44:57.900 --> 01:44:59.260
the destination.

1374
01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:07.600
and the outcome of what we want that certainty for, Lord, but you do lead us

1375
01:45:08.560 --> 01:45:14.160
and show us the next steps. And so I thank you for that. I thank you for that reminder.

1376
01:45:14.880 --> 01:45:23.120
I pray that you continue to remind us that we're never to carry that weight of certainty,

1377
01:45:23.680 --> 01:45:30.880
but you've told us in your word that we can cast those cares and those burdens to you.

1378
01:45:31.520 --> 01:45:38.800
And so, Lord, if we ever find ourselves in those moments where we want to rush ahead,

1379
01:45:38.800 --> 01:45:44.800
can you please just teach us to slow down and listen for your voice? Exactly what you mean

1380
01:45:45.440 --> 01:45:50.640
when we need to be quiet and be still to hear what it is that you want to speak to our hearts.

1381
01:45:51.600 --> 01:45:54.400
Lord, when fear tempts us to want to withdraw,

1382
01:45:56.240 --> 01:46:05.520
do you continue to bring hope in our hearts? And that when that hope tempts us to

1383
01:46:06.640 --> 01:46:13.120
ignore what you're revealing or make us think that it's not happening the way that we want it to,

1384
01:46:14.080 --> 01:46:19.600
that you remind us that you also guide us towards discernment.

1385
01:46:21.920 --> 01:46:28.560
Lord, just continue to help us become the women that have hearts that will remain soft

1386
01:46:29.840 --> 01:46:42.800
and eyes that remain open because our anchor is you. Our confidence is anchored in you, Father.

1387
01:46:44.080 --> 01:46:49.120
I pray that every relationship that's represented here today and in our community,

1388
01:46:51.440 --> 01:47:00.000
whether that's preparing them to date, actively discovery dating, if they're waiting and you're

1389
01:47:00.000 --> 01:47:04.960
still working some other things out before they step into dating, in their healing,

1390
01:47:05.920 --> 01:47:10.960
whether they're dating someone or not, in any of their relationships, family, co-workers,

1391
01:47:11.680 --> 01:47:19.520
neighbors, community, but you're just preparing us to learn to trust you

1392
01:47:19.520 --> 01:47:25.680
more deeply, that you are continuing to write each and every story

1393
01:47:28.800 --> 01:47:35.840
for each and every woman in this community, and it's your perfect timing. Lord, give us the courage

1394
01:47:35.920 --> 01:47:44.080
to continue to take each faithful step, whichever one is next. We don't have to second guess it.

1395
01:47:44.080 --> 01:47:48.480
We just lean on you and trust in you and that you will direct our next step after

1396
01:47:51.120 --> 01:47:56.000
because we don't have to know what comes after. We just know when we take a step,

1397
01:47:56.000 --> 01:48:02.320
you're going to show us the next step that comes after. Continue to remind us that we don't have

1398
01:48:02.320 --> 01:48:11.360
to figure everything out, but we get invited to walk along this journey with you. Lord, as we

1399
01:48:12.080 --> 01:48:20.320
move through this next week, bring that truth back into our hearts that the hope

1400
01:48:21.280 --> 01:48:30.560
is what keeps our hearts open. Your discernment is what keeps our eyes open so that

1401
01:48:31.440 --> 01:48:37.760
that certainty can be fully surrendered to you. We trust you with all the parts of our story, Lord,

1402
01:48:38.560 --> 01:48:44.320
especially the parts that we can't see because we know that you're the one that's holding every

1403
01:48:44.320 --> 01:48:53.840
single page that you're writing. You've got all the pages that you've already written and all the

1404
01:48:54.240 --> 01:49:02.160
blank pages that you are continuing to write. Lord, we just ask that you continue to be with us

1405
01:49:02.160 --> 01:49:15.360
in Jesus' name. Amen. Ladies, have a wonderful rest of your Tuesday. Yes, thank you, Peggy,

1406
01:49:15.360 --> 01:49:24.640
for that. So, yes, Eloise, we need to help you figure out the app. Is that correct?

1407
01:49:25.440 --> 01:49:28.080
So, ladies, if you need to jump off the call, feel free to do that.

1408
01:49:30.800 --> 01:49:35.600
I don't know that it's the app. I just never have understood how the

1409
01:49:38.080 --> 01:49:43.840
affirmations or the homework and all that. I haven't understood it the whole time. I don't

1410
01:49:43.840 --> 01:49:53.360
know if it's my brain fog or what it is. So I don't get it. Do you have access to the app?

1411
01:49:53.360 --> 01:49:59.760
And do you use your phone or do you use your laptop? Okay, that's good. I prefer.

1412
01:50:00.000 --> 01:50:01.560
for using my computer too.

1413
01:50:01.560 --> 01:50:03.600
I don't like using it on my phone.

1414
01:50:03.600 --> 01:50:04.440
Yeah, I don't either.

1415
01:50:04.440 --> 01:50:08.520
So you can log in and are you in phase two?

1416
01:50:08.520 --> 01:50:13.520
I'm in phase two, but I haven't finished the heart work.

1417
01:50:15.000 --> 01:50:19.200
I had a car accident on my birthday in February.

1418
01:50:19.200 --> 01:50:23.960
And so my whole life has been trying to get healthy again

1419
01:50:23.960 --> 01:50:28.960
and I'm gonna get an MRI on my brain and stuff,

1420
01:50:29.080 --> 01:50:29.920
but that hadn't happened.

1421
01:50:29.920 --> 01:50:31.600
All right, so, but they've moved you

1422
01:50:31.600 --> 01:50:34.220
from phase one heart work to phase two.

1423
01:50:34.220 --> 01:50:35.060
Yeah.

1424
01:50:35.060 --> 01:50:38.280
Okay, so, but you didn't feel like you finished

1425
01:50:38.280 --> 01:50:39.120
the heart work?

1426
01:50:39.120 --> 01:50:40.260
No, I haven't finished.

1427
01:50:41.560 --> 01:50:43.480
I'm just really struggling reading.

1428
01:50:43.480 --> 01:50:45.360
Okay, here's the thing.

1429
01:50:45.360 --> 01:50:47.040
It's okay.

1430
01:50:47.040 --> 01:50:51.080
I don't want you to think about needing to catch up, okay?

1431
01:50:51.080 --> 01:50:53.840
I just want you to take it each day as it comes, okay?

1432
01:50:53.840 --> 01:50:55.680
So you're here today.

1433
01:50:55.680 --> 01:51:00.280
You got through the call, okay?

1434
01:51:00.280 --> 01:51:02.800
So when you log into the app,

1435
01:51:02.800 --> 01:51:07.200
especially over like today and tomorrow and Thursday,

1436
01:51:07.200 --> 01:51:12.200
you're gonna see posts from me that will be pinned.

1437
01:51:12.280 --> 01:51:14.320
So it'll be like my notes.

1438
01:51:14.320 --> 01:51:18.100
I will share my activation post.

1439
01:51:18.100 --> 01:51:20.040
There will be the replay posts

1440
01:51:20.040 --> 01:51:21.880
that when the replays get posted,

1441
01:51:21.880 --> 01:51:24.360
I try to keep an eye out on that.

1442
01:51:24.360 --> 01:51:26.800
It doesn't get posted at the same time every day.

1443
01:51:26.800 --> 01:51:29.560
I try not to post that replay post until they're up,

1444
01:51:29.560 --> 01:51:33.500
but sometimes I'm like, they might just,

1445
01:51:33.500 --> 01:51:36.420
I might post before they're actually up,

1446
01:51:36.420 --> 01:51:37.800
but I do try my best to do that,

1447
01:51:37.800 --> 01:51:39.560
but you're gonna see those.

1448
01:51:39.560 --> 01:51:42.200
And so I want you to really take notice of those

1449
01:51:42.200 --> 01:51:43.020
and just read through those,

1450
01:51:43.020 --> 01:51:48.020
and you can respond and reply and comment under those posts.

1451
01:51:49.440 --> 01:51:51.680
You wanna start there.

1452
01:51:51.680 --> 01:51:52.520
Okay.

1453
01:51:52.520 --> 01:51:53.600
And then, you know,

1454
01:51:53.600 --> 01:51:55.720
I don't want you to put so much pressure on yourself.

1455
01:51:55.720 --> 01:51:58.680
There is no right or wrong way to do this.

1456
01:51:58.680 --> 01:51:59.520
Yeah.

1457
01:51:59.520 --> 01:52:02.680
You just follow Holy Spirit's prompting

1458
01:52:02.680 --> 01:52:07.680
is what is He directing to you to do today.

1459
01:52:08.880 --> 01:52:09.720
And trust Him.

1460
01:52:09.720 --> 01:52:12.280
Okay, so did I just share with Ebony

1461
01:52:12.280 --> 01:52:14.180
or did I share with you two?

1462
01:52:15.320 --> 01:52:17.480
It will go, it will go in the app.

1463
01:52:17.480 --> 01:52:18.760
So when, and then if you,

1464
01:52:18.760 --> 01:52:22.960
if you post, do you know how to post in the app?

1465
01:52:22.960 --> 01:52:25.600
Like, it was just be like, create a post.

1466
01:52:25.600 --> 01:52:26.440
Yeah, I know.

1467
01:52:26.440 --> 01:52:29.120
I've done that, but it's been a while.

1468
01:52:29.120 --> 01:52:32.400
And that goes to the whole community.

1469
01:52:32.400 --> 01:52:34.960
So Ebony and I both see that.

1470
01:52:34.960 --> 01:52:35.800
Right.

1471
01:52:36.640 --> 01:52:41.400
So I shared with Ebony several weeks ago

1472
01:52:41.400 --> 01:52:44.080
that I'd had my first date in years.

1473
01:52:44.080 --> 01:52:45.220
Yay.

1474
01:52:45.220 --> 01:52:46.060
Yeah.

1475
01:52:46.060 --> 01:52:49.780
And I don't know if you're familiar with it.

1476
01:52:49.780 --> 01:52:54.680
There's a group called Singles and Fellowship.

1477
01:52:54.680 --> 01:52:57.620
And there's one called Active Singles DFW,

1478
01:52:57.620 --> 01:52:59.160
although they've changed their name,

1479
01:52:59.160 --> 01:53:01.340
but it's all Christian singles

1480
01:53:01.340 --> 01:53:04.660
in the Dallas Fort Worth area.

1481
01:53:04.660 --> 01:53:08.400
And so one of the groups had a dinner dance

1482
01:53:08.400 --> 01:53:11.980
and I went there and met this guy

1483
01:53:11.980 --> 01:53:16.020
and we ended up going to lunch.

1484
01:53:16.020 --> 01:53:21.020
And, and Ebony was so wonderful before I, you know,

1485
01:53:21.260 --> 01:53:25.080
had the date she'd been talking about, you know,

1486
01:53:26.020 --> 01:53:27.940
make it fun, make it light.

1487
01:53:27.940 --> 01:53:29.380
You're not going to go serious.

1488
01:53:29.380 --> 01:53:32.340
You're not going to talk about women and the Lord

1489
01:53:32.340 --> 01:53:33.180
and all this stuff.

1490
01:53:33.180 --> 01:53:36.540
Well, this guy's a widower and he'd been married 33 years.

1491
01:53:36.540 --> 01:53:40.340
And so like the first few minutes he was like trying to,

1492
01:53:40.340 --> 01:53:42.540
so how many relationships have you had?

1493
01:53:42.540 --> 01:53:43.940
How long did they last?

1494
01:53:43.940 --> 01:53:46.500
And I was like, we're not going there.

1495
01:53:46.500 --> 01:53:48.460
And the next day was Father's Day.

1496
01:53:48.460 --> 01:53:50.500
And I said, so Tim,

1497
01:53:50.500 --> 01:53:54.080
tell me about a wonderful experience you had with your dad.

1498
01:53:55.260 --> 01:53:58.860
And so, so he shared something with me

1499
01:53:58.860 --> 01:54:02.580
about going to a professional baseball game.

1500
01:54:02.580 --> 01:54:07.420
And he said that team, he has loved that team all his life.

1501
01:54:07.420 --> 01:54:10.100
And he has a warm place in his heart

1502
01:54:10.100 --> 01:54:13.660
every time he sees that team or whatever.

1503
01:54:13.660 --> 01:54:17.980
And so, and then he asked me about one and I,

1504
01:54:17.980 --> 01:54:20.220
and this one, the Lord had brought back up.

1505
01:54:20.220 --> 01:54:23.180
I hadn't heard of, thought about it in years.

1506
01:54:23.180 --> 01:54:27.020
When I was four, we planted watermelon seeds

1507
01:54:27.020 --> 01:54:29.660
in East Texas in Tyler.

1508
01:54:29.660 --> 01:54:32.500
And, and I kept looking out the window

1509
01:54:32.500 --> 01:54:33.660
after we'd planted them,

1510
01:54:33.660 --> 01:54:36.420
wondered, you know, when's the watermelons coming up?

1511
01:54:37.260 --> 01:54:40.980
Dad went and got watermelons and the vines.

1512
01:54:40.980 --> 01:54:44.620
And that night he planted them on top of our seeds.

1513
01:54:44.620 --> 01:54:47.660
So the next day I had watermelons.

1514
01:54:47.660 --> 01:54:48.500
And we did that.

1515
01:54:48.500 --> 01:54:49.540
Oh, I love that.

1516
01:54:49.540 --> 01:54:50.380
Yeah.

1517
01:54:50.380 --> 01:54:55.180
And so anyway, we, I kept it light and breezy

1518
01:54:55.180 --> 01:54:57.940
the whole time and he loved it.

1519
01:54:57.940 --> 01:54:59.940
But when he's, when I said,

1520
01:55:00.000 --> 01:55:04.200
Something about, you know, how Jackie said,

1521
01:55:04.200 --> 01:55:08.280
you know, the chemistry is on the bus,

1522
01:55:08.280 --> 01:55:10.960
but it's the, what is it?

1523
01:55:10.960 --> 01:55:14.240
The collaboration or the, what did she say?

1524
01:55:14.240 --> 01:55:15.440
What's that word?

1525
01:55:15.440 --> 01:55:16.480
Compatibility.

1526
01:55:16.480 --> 01:55:17.840
Compatibility, yeah.

1527
01:55:17.840 --> 01:55:20.240
But that's what drives the bus.

1528
01:55:20.240 --> 01:55:21.720
Yeah, it does.

1529
01:55:21.720 --> 01:55:23.320
We had a great time.

1530
01:55:23.320 --> 01:55:24.760
He got me iced tea.

1531
01:55:24.760 --> 01:55:26.640
He walked me to my car.

1532
01:55:26.640 --> 01:55:28.600
He told me how beautiful I was.

1533
01:55:28.640 --> 01:55:31.240
He told me how he's lost 88 pounds.

1534
01:55:31.240 --> 01:55:33.520
And I said, well, you beat me.

1535
01:55:33.520 --> 01:55:34.840
I've lost 60.

1536
01:55:34.840 --> 01:55:36.720
And he said, you're beautiful.

1537
01:55:36.720 --> 01:55:39.000
You don't need to lose another ounce.

1538
01:55:39.000 --> 01:55:40.440
Oh, I love that.

1539
01:55:40.440 --> 01:55:44.280
Yeah, and so it was so wonderful to hear,

1540
01:55:44.280 --> 01:55:46.720
but he sent me a text that night.

1541
01:55:46.720 --> 01:55:50.800
He said, you know, I so enjoyed you

1542
01:55:50.800 --> 01:55:53.800
and I loved holding you in my arms.

1543
01:55:53.800 --> 01:55:55.280
We hugged goodbye.

1544
01:55:55.280 --> 01:55:56.200
Yeah.

1545
01:55:56.200 --> 01:56:01.080
But he said, but I don't think the compatibility is there.

1546
01:56:01.080 --> 01:56:03.600
I mean, he wants to be married.

1547
01:56:03.600 --> 01:56:05.440
Let me just say, that's what he want.

1548
01:56:05.440 --> 01:56:09.400
And he's a denominational guy,

1549
01:56:09.400 --> 01:56:12.280
not spirit filled, and he doesn't get it.

1550
01:56:12.280 --> 01:56:13.600
So, you know.

1551
01:56:13.600 --> 01:56:15.800
And I think, yeah, and you don't have to sit there

1552
01:56:15.800 --> 01:56:17.640
and like figure him out,

1553
01:56:17.640 --> 01:56:20.800
but you get to take that opportunity and say,

1554
01:56:20.800 --> 01:56:25.800
okay, what did God do in that moment?

1555
01:56:25.840 --> 01:56:28.520
Where did I see growth in me?

1556
01:56:28.520 --> 01:56:30.080
Where can I celebrate?

1557
01:56:30.080 --> 01:56:31.480
That's why I always like,

1558
01:56:31.480 --> 01:56:35.040
you ladies are always gonna hear me want to celebrate things

1559
01:56:35.040 --> 01:56:38.360
because if we keep our eyes fixed on him

1560
01:56:38.360 --> 01:56:42.480
and looking upwards and celebrating what God is doing

1561
01:56:42.480 --> 01:56:45.720
in that moment and we are praising and worship

1562
01:56:45.720 --> 01:56:49.680
the goodness of the father, like that's good.

1563
01:56:49.680 --> 01:56:52.480
So yeah, I don't want you to,

1564
01:56:52.480 --> 01:56:53.360
we've got to jump off here,

1565
01:56:53.360 --> 01:56:56.080
but I don't want you to focus on this

1566
01:56:56.080 --> 01:56:57.640
feeling like you need to catch up.

1567
01:56:57.640 --> 01:57:00.440
Cause I think that could be putting stress on you

1568
01:57:00.440 --> 01:57:03.120
where you feel like, I don't know where to start.

1569
01:57:03.120 --> 01:57:08.120
So just one day, okay, as it comes,

1570
01:57:09.280 --> 01:57:10.840
look at the post.

1571
01:57:10.840 --> 01:57:13.520
If something's on your heart to share

1572
01:57:13.520 --> 01:57:15.960
what God is highlighting to you, share it with us.

1573
01:57:15.960 --> 01:57:17.800
Yeah, okay.

1574
01:57:17.800 --> 01:57:20.240
And then, you know, just keep revealing to us

1575
01:57:20.240 --> 01:57:21.400
like what the Lord is doing.

1576
01:57:21.400 --> 01:57:24.200
And that, if you're dating or not dating,

1577
01:57:24.200 --> 01:57:25.040
it doesn't matter.

1578
01:57:25.040 --> 01:57:27.880
I just, we want to see what is God doing?

1579
01:57:27.880 --> 01:57:31.960
Cause that heartwork stuff, it continues.

1580
01:57:31.960 --> 01:57:32.800
Right, yeah.

1581
01:57:32.800 --> 01:57:34.160
Like if you could like,

1582
01:57:34.160 --> 01:57:37.120
I think every time you probably will come on in my calls,

1583
01:57:37.120 --> 01:57:38.840
I'm heartworking everybody.

1584
01:57:38.840 --> 01:57:41.200
Cause I'm heartworking myself all the time.

1585
01:57:42.560 --> 01:57:44.440
Well, I've got to say this one thing.

1586
01:57:44.440 --> 01:57:48.960
In the last few weeks, I've had more men,

1587
01:57:48.960 --> 01:57:53.120
teenagers, men, I know them or I don't know them,

1588
01:57:53.120 --> 01:57:56.440
but they're saying, you look so beautiful today.

1589
01:57:56.440 --> 01:57:59.560
And my favorite restaurant called Taste in Fort Worth,

1590
01:57:59.560 --> 01:58:01.640
if you haven't been there, you need to go.

1591
01:58:01.640 --> 01:58:03.160
Okay, I'm writing it down.

1592
01:58:03.160 --> 01:58:07.600
Yeah, tasteproject.org, Fort Worth and Arlington.

1593
01:58:07.600 --> 01:58:12.120
And so one of the managers at the Fort Worth location,

1594
01:58:12.120 --> 01:58:15.160
I don't know his name, but his face is familiar.

1595
01:58:15.160 --> 01:58:18.080
And so we were, me and a girlfriend

1596
01:58:18.120 --> 01:58:23.120
were one of the last tables finishing up and everything.

1597
01:58:24.040 --> 01:58:27.840
And so he was just kind of walking by and he said,

1598
01:58:27.840 --> 01:58:29.400
you look so beautiful today.

1599
01:58:29.400 --> 01:58:32.240
But then he said, but you always do.

1600
01:58:32.240 --> 01:58:34.920
You always come dressed so nice.

1601
01:58:34.920 --> 01:58:39.280
And it's like, I know that it's the Lord

1602
01:58:39.280 --> 01:58:43.400
shining through me kind of deal.

1603
01:58:43.440 --> 01:58:47.040
And I do make a big effort

1604
01:58:49.520 --> 01:58:51.680
to have makeup on and all that sort of stuff.

1605
01:58:51.680 --> 01:58:53.320
I don't know if you're doing it or whatever,

1606
01:58:53.320 --> 01:58:55.800
but I'm also in a job search

1607
01:58:55.800 --> 01:58:58.400
and you need to look pulled together, so.

1608
01:58:58.400 --> 01:58:59.720
No, I get that.

1609
01:58:59.720 --> 01:59:00.560
Yeah.

1610
01:59:00.560 --> 01:59:01.400
No, I think you're doing great.

1611
01:59:01.400 --> 01:59:03.720
So yeah, I think just continue

1612
01:59:03.720 --> 01:59:04.720
to keep doing what you're doing.

1613
01:59:04.720 --> 01:59:07.400
Release the pressure off yourself, okay?

1614
01:59:07.400 --> 01:59:12.040
And you're recognizing these moments where God's showing up.

1615
01:59:12.040 --> 01:59:14.720
So just sit with that and just be like, okay, God,

1616
01:59:14.720 --> 01:59:16.920
like what is it you're trying to show me today?

1617
01:59:16.920 --> 01:59:19.640
And if you feel led to share in our app,

1618
01:59:19.640 --> 01:59:21.360
just post about it.

1619
01:59:21.360 --> 01:59:22.200
Okay.

1620
01:59:22.200 --> 01:59:24.040
Like, and that's part of that process.

1621
01:59:24.040 --> 01:59:26.240
And then that will, you'll start seeing

1622
01:59:26.240 --> 01:59:28.040
how we'll incorporate heartwork in that too.

1623
01:59:28.040 --> 01:59:30.120
God has a really amazing way

1624
01:59:30.120 --> 01:59:32.520
of revealing all of that stuff to us.

1625
01:59:32.520 --> 01:59:33.360
Yeah.

1626
01:59:33.360 --> 01:59:34.200
Okay.

1627
01:59:34.200 --> 01:59:38.600
I just, you know, I just wanna get more going

1628
01:59:38.600 --> 01:59:41.200
and get past all the health issues.

1629
01:59:41.200 --> 01:59:42.520
Don't stress yourself out.

1630
01:59:42.520 --> 01:59:45.680
Like, okay, just take baby steps at a time.

1631
01:59:45.680 --> 01:59:46.600
Okay?

1632
01:59:46.600 --> 01:59:47.600
Yeah.

1633
01:59:47.600 --> 01:59:48.440
All right.

1634
01:59:48.440 --> 01:59:49.440
All right, I'm gonna jump off.

1635
01:59:49.440 --> 01:59:51.480
I will see you ladies next week

1636
01:59:51.480 --> 01:59:53.360
and I will continue to see you all in the post

1637
01:59:53.360 --> 01:59:57.040
as I respond to all of your amazing updates.

1638
01:59:57.040 --> 01:59:58.000
I love hearing them.

1639
01:59:58.000 --> 01:59:59.000
So keep them coming.

1640
01:59:59.000 --> 01:59:59.840
All right, ladies.

1641
02:00:00.000 --> 02:00:01.660
Have a great Tuesday.

1642
02:00:01.660 --> 02:00:02.500
Thank you.