WEBVTT

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Okay, so welcome to ladies night, we are officially recording, we are here.

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And so, Jackie wanted to do like a get to know you.

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And so, I, I will say this too.

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If we fly through the get to know you I don't know how many people are going to come on

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right now we only have 35 folks on and more will come.

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Usually it's only like seven o'clock so some, some of y'all are slow rollers in and so,

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we're going to, I came up with 10 fun questions because she's like,

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I want people to kind of get to know each other in the community.

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And a lot of times when I ask you guys questions,

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they're geared towards answers you're going to give the dudes, right?

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But I'm not going to ask those questions tonight.

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I'm going to ask you questions that will help us learn about each other, but

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you're going to hear like movies, songs, and books.

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And so, A, I want you to get a pen and paper ready because you're going to write

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your answers down, but you might hear an answer from somebody else.

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You're like, oh my gosh, I need to read that book.

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Oh my gosh, I need to watch that movie.

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Because this is all about us feeling good.

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So, grab your paper, grab a pen, and I'm going to put ten questions in the,

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in the chat, and you're going to write them down in the answers.

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And I'm actually going to play a little song while we're,

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I'm going to give you a few minutes.

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Hold on a sec.

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Where is my speaker?

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Hold on.

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Hold on.

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All right.

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So, I'm going to give everybody like three minutes to write their answers down.

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All right.

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And I will go first, so you get the gist of how this is going to go.

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Boom, boom, boom, boom.

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All right.

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Here are the ten questions in the chat.

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You're very, obviously, you have to tell us your name and where you live.

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I don't want your age, how many kids you have.

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We don't want that.

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We don't want to know that tonight.

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I just want to know your name and where you're, where you're hailing from.

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The number one question is your comfort meal.

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No shame, you guys.

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If it's candy, don't shame anybody.

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We're not trying to lose weight tonight, okay?

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There's no calories tonight.

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Number two, your go-to thing to relax.

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Number three, a verse that means something to you right now and why.

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Four, a movie you will always watch whenever it comes on TV,

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no matter where it is in the movie.

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It could be five minutes left of the movie and you're still going to watch

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that sucker.

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A fiction book you could not put down.

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So, I said fiction because I don't want you all telling me about the Bible.

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I know we all pick up the Bible.

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I want you to, I mean, I want that dumb book that you can't believe you stayed

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up all night reading.

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A worship song that always picks you up.

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And you guys, some of these for my answers, it's just what came off the top

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of my head tonight.

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If I asked the same question last week, I'd get a different answer.

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Next week, I'd get a different answer.

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A fun song that always picks you up.

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Something you will accomplish by the end of the year.

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And you guys, let's talk nicely to ourselves because the first thing I

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thought of was, oh, lose 10 pounds.

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No.

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I pick something fun and silly that I want to get done before the end of the year.

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And then nine, your go-to beauty tip.

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We always, Jackie always does like her favorite things, but some of you might

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have your favorite thing that we all want to know about.

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And number 10, an item in your home that matters.

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So, in the next four minutes, not only do you have to come up with your answers,

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but you got to go find that item if you can in the house.

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You may not be able to.

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It might be hanging on your wall and it might be way too big.

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It might be your entire living room set.

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I don't know.

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But if it's manageable, you're going to go get it.

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So, the questions are in the chat and you've got four minutes to answer them.

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And I'm going to play a little background music of one of my favorite songs that

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gets me up no matter what.

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And it's the first one that came to my mind.

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So, no making fun of me.

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Loving Every Since I Was a Kid

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♪ Waking up in the morning Be like my mother said

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When you gotta live your life right

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Loving Eve, we're not the fortunate ones

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And girls don't know how to have fun

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Oh, girls just don't know how to have fun

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♪

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The four rings

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And the

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I love the night, my boy, yeah

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What you gonna do with your life?

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Oh, daddy, do you know you're still number one?

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But girls, they wanna have fun

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Oh, girls just wanna have

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That's only one

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Number one

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When the workin' day is done, oh girl

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They wanna have fun

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Oh, girls just wanna have

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Wanna have fun, girls

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Wanna have

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Someone take a beautiful girl and hide her away from the worst of the world

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I wanna be the one to walk in the sun

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Oh, girls just wanna have fun

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Oh, girls just wanna have

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That's only one

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Number one

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When the workin' day is done, oh girl

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They wanna have fun

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Oh, girls just wanna have

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Wanna have fun, girls

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Wanna have

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They just wanna, they just wanna

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Okay.

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And if you're quick on the draw,

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and if you, uh, have Spotify,

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you can always hold up your phone and play a ten second clip of your song.

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It can't be that fast.

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We all don't have time to play everybody's song the whole way through.

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But, okay.

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We have ten questions each.

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I'm gonna go first.

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I want brave hands.

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Some of you, like, I know the answers to these,

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but I'm in the dark, I'm in PJs, I don't wanna come off camera.

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That's fine, whatever.

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But for as many of you as possible, look at y'all.

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Like, I've got like a ratty torn,

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look, it's got torn, torn shirt on tonight for y'all.

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Torn shirt.

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Okay.

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So, my comfort meal.

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I'm kind of a, I like carbs and I like protein,

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so my comfort meal is like a New York strip or ribeye steak.

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Yum.

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With, um, J Alexander's makes the best,

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it's not your ordinary mac and cheese, mac and cheese.

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That would be my comfort meal.

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Carb and protein.

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My go-to thing to relax.

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I would say get to the beach,

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but I'm landlocked here in Nashville,

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and so lately what I've had to resort to,

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if I can't get to a body of water,

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my go-to to relax is breath work.

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I really need to slow my breathing down.

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So that is the fastest way I can relax.

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A verse that means something and why.

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I've been lamenting over my 30-page thesis paper

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that I just turned in.

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45 resources, 140 footnotes.

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And the big chunk of it was John 15,

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I am the vine.

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And so John 15, 5, I am the vine,

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I am the branches.

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If you remain in me,

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and I in you,

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you will bear much fruit.

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So that's the verse that's been sitting with me recently.

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A movie I will always watch whenever it comes on.

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Shawshank Redemption.

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I'm a sucker for Morgan Freeman,

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but what I really love is the main character.

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Oh my gosh, I'm having a brain fart on his name.

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But I just love the fact that that man had hope.

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That lasted decades.

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A fiction book that I could not put down.

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I don't know why this is the first book

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that came to my mind.

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It's certainly not the most recent book.

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I'm embarrassed to tell you,

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but I think it's because I just watched it on Netflix.

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It's Hunger Games.

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When I finally read the trilogy,

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I pretty much inhaled the entire trilogy

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in probably four days.

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And if you guys have seen the Hunger Games books,

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those are not short books.

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A worship song that always picks me up.

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It's Chris McCarney's I'm Listening.

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So it's Chris McCarney,

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I'm Listening.

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Get that.

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A fun song that always picks me up.

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You already heard my Cyndi Lauper

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Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.

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I just think it's a great pick-me-up.

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Something I will accomplish

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by the end of the year.

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My golf clubs are sitting in the storage unit.

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And my husband and I,

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we have got to get those golf clubs back out.

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So I committed that I'm going to get

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to the golf course three times

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before December, y'all.

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Tip, this is a public service announcement.

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It is wearing, I got this from my dermatologist.

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This is a tinted sunscreen that actually goes on

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almost like foundation.

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You guys, I am Mediterranean, I am 97% Italian, 3% Greek.

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There should be zero reason why I should worry

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about any skin issues.

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But she just froze off a pre-cancer spot on my cheek.

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So this is your public service announcement

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to wear sunscreen and go get your face and body checked.

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If you have not done so in a very long time.

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And one item in my house that really matters to me,

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I have a bunch of items, but the most recent one

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that's hanging up on the wall is the cord

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that Brian and I did during my wedding ceremony.

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It had like this little anchor,

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and so the pastor kind of held the anchor,

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and the two of us kind of tied it up.

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And so it actually has now been sitting,

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it hangs on the wall to remind us

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that we are a cord of three strands.

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Okay, raise your hand.

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You guys go, fun stuff.

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Share your name and answer those questions.

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Who's gonna be brave and go first?

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Okay, Susan Bennett, go.

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Mute, unmute.

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Okay, hi there.

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Yep, I'm in my sports bra.

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Okay.

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My favorite, okay, my go-to meal, comfort meal

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is my bolognese sauce that I make.

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It's homemade from scratch, quite fabulous.

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And, you know, with some pasta.

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Actually, I've been eating on that

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for the last of almost four nights in a row,

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because I just made some.

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All right, so, oh, to relax.

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Well, right now I'm in Durango,

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so I love riding my bike down to the river

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and getting in the river,

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because it's kind of chilly and it's quite refreshing.

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Right now, Romans 6, 11, I've been in Romans,

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and this is, so, chapter six, verse 11,

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so let it be the same way with you.

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Since you are now joined with him,

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you must continually view yourselves as dead

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and unresponsive to sin's appeal,

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while living daily for God's pleasure

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in union with Jesus, the anointed one.

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Yep, I've been hanging out in Romans lately.

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Okay, so, I don't know, favorite movie, gosh,

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I hardly watch movies anymore,

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but I do love God with Wind,

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because the fashions are stunning,

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what Scarlett O'Hara wears, so I watch it for the fashion.

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Number five, fiction book.

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Actually, I haven't read a fiction book in a while.

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Yeah.

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You can skip it, if you want.

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Then, worship song came to my mind was You Raise Me Up.

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That's always a lovely one.

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00:12:52.460 --> 00:12:54.780
Then, a fun song that picks me up

260
00:12:54.780 --> 00:12:57.820
is by Dire Straits, Sultans of Swing.

261
00:12:59.180 --> 00:13:00.020
I love it.

262
00:13:01.540 --> 00:13:02.380
Yeah, Money for Nothing.

263
00:13:02.380 --> 00:13:04.620
I just listen to both of those, again, today.

264
00:13:06.220 --> 00:13:07.560
Get done by the year end.

265
00:13:07.560 --> 00:13:12.500
Well, my goal right now is to find a livable van

266
00:13:14.240 --> 00:13:17.700
before the end of the year, to live in the van.

267
00:13:17.700 --> 00:13:18.540
Yep.

268
00:13:18.540 --> 00:13:21.920
My beauty tip is lipstick.

269
00:13:24.060 --> 00:13:29.060
My favorites are Chanel lipsticks, so that's what I...

270
00:13:29.140 --> 00:13:29.980
Great.

271
00:13:31.340 --> 00:13:32.180
If I don't wear any,

272
00:13:32.180 --> 00:13:35.660
I mean, that's my basic makeup, is lipstick, and that's it.

273
00:13:35.660 --> 00:13:37.780
And an item in your home?

274
00:13:37.780 --> 00:13:42.780
Item in my home is my Peppermill and my perfume.

275
00:13:43.540 --> 00:13:47.040
I just, I love that combination.

276
00:13:47.040 --> 00:13:48.840
All right, thank you so much, Susan.

277
00:13:48.840 --> 00:13:51.320
Marilyn, you are, oh, no, Marily.

278
00:13:51.320 --> 00:13:52.400
Sorry, Marley.

279
00:13:52.400 --> 00:13:53.520
Marley, yes, yes.

280
00:13:53.520 --> 00:13:55.480
Marley, I'm sorry, vision shot tonight.

281
00:13:55.480 --> 00:13:57.000
Go ahead, you're on it, girl.

282
00:13:57.000 --> 00:14:00.880
Okay, so it's Marley from Ottawa, Canada,

283
00:14:00.880 --> 00:14:05.880
and my comfort meal is hearty soup full of vegetables.

284
00:14:08.400 --> 00:14:11.160
I can have three, four bowls, love it,

285
00:14:12.000 --> 00:14:14.480
especially here when it's cold.

286
00:14:14.480 --> 00:14:17.680
Go-to thing to do to relax,

287
00:14:17.680 --> 00:14:19.240
if it's during the summer,

288
00:14:19.240 --> 00:14:23.800
to go by the water, and during the winter, sauna.

289
00:14:25.200 --> 00:14:29.600
A verse that means a lot to me now,

290
00:14:29.600 --> 00:14:34.200
it's Psalm 23, he restores my soul.

291
00:14:35.840 --> 00:14:39.240
A movie that I will always watch when it comes up,

292
00:14:39.240 --> 00:14:40.120
Pretty Woman.

293
00:14:41.120 --> 00:14:41.960
Ah.

294
00:14:43.680 --> 00:14:46.000
Fiction book, I don't read fiction books,

295
00:14:46.000 --> 00:14:47.400
so I'll just skip it.

296
00:14:47.400 --> 00:14:51.080
A worship song that picks me up,

297
00:14:51.080 --> 00:14:53.680
Goodness of God by C.C. Winans.

298
00:14:54.840 --> 00:14:59.840
A fun song that picks me up as well is Soirée.

299
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:06.100
Amanda from Elvis Prespo.

300
00:15:07.400 --> 00:15:10.300
Something that I will accomplish by the end of the year

301
00:15:10.300 --> 00:15:13.900
is plan my winter vacation.

302
00:15:14.400 --> 00:15:18.200
I usually just go spontaneously, but I'll plan something.

303
00:15:19.100 --> 00:15:26.900
My beauty tip is a light up lip gloss and an item in my house

304
00:15:27.000 --> 00:15:32.400
that really matters to me are the paintings that I got from my father.

305
00:15:32.800 --> 00:15:35.400
So yeah, I love it Marley.

306
00:15:35.400 --> 00:15:36.400
You know, that's the song.

307
00:15:36.400 --> 00:15:38.100
I walked down the aisle to was the good.

308
00:15:38.100 --> 00:15:39.600
Oh, yeah.

309
00:15:39.600 --> 00:15:40.300
Okay.

310
00:15:40.300 --> 00:15:40.800
Okay.

311
00:15:41.000 --> 00:15:41.500
Yep.

312
00:15:42.000 --> 00:15:43.300
Okie dokie.

313
00:15:43.500 --> 00:15:45.900
My gosh, you guys my vision is so Patty.

314
00:15:47.100 --> 00:15:49.600
That's what happens when you work on a paper for five straight days.

315
00:15:49.600 --> 00:15:50.900
Patty can't see no more.

316
00:15:50.900 --> 00:15:51.700
You're up girl.

317
00:15:52.100 --> 00:15:52.600
Okay.

318
00:15:52.600 --> 00:15:53.600
Thanks Renee.

319
00:15:54.000 --> 00:15:56.200
I am Patty from New Jersey.

320
00:15:57.300 --> 00:16:00.900
Comfort food would be Jamaican beef patties.

321
00:16:01.300 --> 00:16:06.300
Oh, I skate to relax.

322
00:16:06.300 --> 00:16:07.200
I skate.

323
00:16:08.900 --> 00:16:09.400
Let's see.

324
00:16:09.400 --> 00:16:10.000
You do what?

325
00:16:10.000 --> 00:16:11.200
What do you do to relax?

326
00:16:11.600 --> 00:16:13.300
Ice skating or roller skating?

327
00:16:13.300 --> 00:16:14.700
Oh, you skate.

328
00:16:14.700 --> 00:16:15.300
Got you.

329
00:16:15.900 --> 00:16:16.500
Awesome.

330
00:16:16.600 --> 00:16:17.300
I love it.

331
00:16:18.700 --> 00:16:20.000
Joshua one nine.

332
00:16:20.000 --> 00:16:22.600
Have I not commanded you be strong and courageous.

333
00:16:23.600 --> 00:16:25.800
I'm writing all these verses down you guys.

334
00:16:26.300 --> 00:16:29.600
I think that there's going to be some beauty of when we put this all

335
00:16:29.600 --> 00:16:30.400
together.

336
00:16:31.000 --> 00:16:31.500
Keep going.

337
00:16:32.600 --> 00:16:34.700
Movie would be Hidden Figures.

338
00:16:34.900 --> 00:16:35.600
Oh, yeah.

339
00:16:37.500 --> 00:16:39.800
A book that I couldn't put down.

340
00:16:39.800 --> 00:16:41.200
It's actually a young adult book.

341
00:16:41.200 --> 00:16:45.100
It's called Izzy willy-nilly and it's by Cynthia Voight.

342
00:16:45.500 --> 00:16:46.000
Okay.

343
00:16:46.300 --> 00:16:46.800
Okay.

344
00:16:47.700 --> 00:16:50.200
Let's see song would be Gyra.

345
00:16:50.400 --> 00:16:51.700
I think it's yes.

346
00:16:51.700 --> 00:16:52.300
Rick.

347
00:16:52.500 --> 00:16:53.300
Yeah music.

348
00:16:53.300 --> 00:16:54.300
I think Maverick City.

349
00:16:55.300 --> 00:16:55.900
Don't worry.

350
00:16:55.900 --> 00:16:56.700
Be happy.

351
00:16:57.200 --> 00:16:58.400
Oh, yeah.

352
00:17:00.300 --> 00:17:04.400
I'd like to win at least two tennis games from one of my upcoming

353
00:17:04.599 --> 00:17:04.900
tennis.

354
00:17:04.900 --> 00:17:07.099
Okay, I love that.

355
00:17:08.599 --> 00:17:13.900
Lipstick with lip clear lip gloss on top for the beauty tip and

356
00:17:15.500 --> 00:17:19.300
the item would be my Toastmasters certificate.

357
00:17:20.800 --> 00:17:21.500
Good job.

358
00:17:21.500 --> 00:17:22.400
See Patty.

359
00:17:22.400 --> 00:17:24.700
We just learned some cool things about you too.

360
00:17:24.800 --> 00:17:25.200
All right.

361
00:17:25.200 --> 00:17:26.000
I love it.

362
00:17:26.400 --> 00:17:27.400
Awesome.

363
00:17:28.700 --> 00:17:29.300
Lydia.

364
00:17:30.600 --> 00:17:34.900
Hi, I'm Lydia and I'm in Kansas City and okay.

365
00:17:35.100 --> 00:17:39.100
She mentioned the Jamaican beef patties and like that's also like

366
00:17:39.100 --> 00:17:42.400
one of them but I wrote down Italian style pizza.

367
00:17:45.300 --> 00:17:48.400
Let's see the next thing to relax.

368
00:17:48.400 --> 00:17:51.800
I will probably just turn on a movie most likely a comedy or

369
00:17:51.800 --> 00:17:53.500
rom-com and I will knit.

370
00:17:54.300 --> 00:17:55.900
Oh, I love that you knit.

371
00:17:55.900 --> 00:17:57.100
That's awesome.

372
00:17:57.500 --> 00:18:03.600
And the verse Ephesians 3 20 and 21 where it talks about him

373
00:18:03.600 --> 00:18:07.200
who can do abundantly beyond all that we ask or imagine.

374
00:18:10.500 --> 00:18:11.000
Movie.

375
00:18:11.000 --> 00:18:11.400
Okay.

376
00:18:11.400 --> 00:18:15.300
This is going to show my age like kind of that niche age of younger

377
00:18:15.300 --> 00:18:17.400
millennial the Lizzie McGuire movie.

378
00:18:19.400 --> 00:18:20.200
Love it.

379
00:18:23.200 --> 00:18:24.000
So good.

380
00:18:25.900 --> 00:18:26.800
Book series.

381
00:18:26.800 --> 00:18:30.200
I mean Hunger Games is definitely one of them, but I wrote down

382
00:18:30.200 --> 00:18:31.600
the selection series.

383
00:18:31.700 --> 00:18:33.200
It's by Keira Cass.

384
00:18:33.500 --> 00:18:35.500
Okay, technically young adult.

385
00:18:35.500 --> 00:18:39.000
She's a Christian but they're not like written as Christian fiction,

386
00:18:39.000 --> 00:18:41.300
but she based it kind of off of the Book of Esther.

387
00:18:42.700 --> 00:18:43.600
I love that.

388
00:18:43.700 --> 00:18:44.600
I love that.

389
00:18:46.800 --> 00:18:48.100
Song, Surrounded.

390
00:18:48.700 --> 00:18:49.300
Nice.

391
00:18:50.100 --> 00:18:51.900
And then I want to dance with somebody.

392
00:18:53.500 --> 00:18:54.800
Yeah, get on Whitney.

393
00:18:54.900 --> 00:18:56.100
Get on Whitney.

394
00:18:56.300 --> 00:18:57.200
Just every time.

395
00:18:57.400 --> 00:18:58.000
Just turn it on.

396
00:18:58.000 --> 00:18:58.900
Every time man.

397
00:18:58.900 --> 00:18:59.900
Every time.

398
00:19:00.600 --> 00:19:01.100
This year.

399
00:19:01.100 --> 00:19:03.500
I want to knit a cable knit sweater.

400
00:19:04.100 --> 00:19:04.600
Okay.

401
00:19:04.600 --> 00:19:05.200
For the end of the year.

402
00:19:07.400 --> 00:19:09.000
And a beauty tip.

403
00:19:09.000 --> 00:19:12.500
So I got they're really cheap on Amazon, but these cute hair clips

404
00:19:12.500 --> 00:19:15.600
and like sometimes if I'm just tired of my hair being down, I'll

405
00:19:15.600 --> 00:19:17.300
put it like half up with one of these.

406
00:19:17.600 --> 00:19:18.300
Nice.

407
00:19:19.300 --> 00:19:20.400
I love it ladies.

408
00:19:21.100 --> 00:19:24.600
And then I have a necklace that I got from my aunt Jean.

409
00:19:24.600 --> 00:19:28.800
She passed away seven years ago and she got it for me when she

410
00:19:28.800 --> 00:19:29.600
went to Israel.

411
00:19:29.600 --> 00:19:31.200
So it's nice.

412
00:19:32.000 --> 00:19:32.900
I love that.

413
00:19:33.000 --> 00:19:36.500
Someone's asking you who is the book the name of the book series

414
00:19:36.500 --> 00:19:37.600
and author again.

415
00:19:38.400 --> 00:19:39.700
I will put it in the chat.

416
00:19:39.800 --> 00:19:40.500
Okay, great.

417
00:19:40.500 --> 00:19:41.000
Awesome.

418
00:19:41.300 --> 00:19:42.700
Thank you so much.

419
00:19:43.000 --> 00:19:43.800
I love that.

420
00:19:43.800 --> 00:19:44.800
We have a knitter.

421
00:19:45.000 --> 00:19:46.300
All right, Rachel, you're up.

422
00:19:46.400 --> 00:19:47.100
Is it Rachel?

423
00:19:48.400 --> 00:19:49.200
It's Rachel.

424
00:19:49.500 --> 00:19:50.800
Rachel, I had a feeling.

425
00:19:50.800 --> 00:19:51.300
Yeah.

426
00:19:53.000 --> 00:19:53.600
It's all good.

427
00:19:54.000 --> 00:19:54.500
Okay.

428
00:19:54.700 --> 00:19:58.100
So my comfort meal is a bolognese.

429
00:19:58.200 --> 00:20:00.000
It's like a Mexican meatball soup.

430
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:05.180
a bondi guys. Oh, nice. So it's, it's essentially a Mexican

431
00:20:05.180 --> 00:20:09.220
meatball soup. Nice. It's and like even in the summer when

432
00:20:09.220 --> 00:20:12.220
it's like 100 degrees, I'll still want it. It's like one of

433
00:20:12.220 --> 00:20:20.100
those. Um, what I do to relax, I love I watch a lot of like ASMR

434
00:20:20.100 --> 00:20:24.060
facial videos. Like even if I can't get a facial, I want to

435
00:20:24.060 --> 00:20:31.860
watch someone get a facial. Okay. I have there's so many

436
00:20:31.860 --> 00:20:37.860
spots in Tokyo, I am now aware of. So, um, the verse I put is

437
00:20:37.860 --> 00:20:45.500
Jeremiah 2911. Um, or I know the plans that I have for you. And

438
00:20:45.500 --> 00:20:53.140
then for movies, honestly, any early 2000 movies, like any

439
00:20:53.140 --> 00:20:56.260
early like monster in law, I feel like that would always

440
00:20:56.260 --> 00:21:02.100
come on 50 first dates, like anything with Kate Hudson. I'll

441
00:21:02.100 --> 00:21:06.680
stop and watch. Oh my gosh. Yes. Remember when I get in was on

442
00:21:06.680 --> 00:21:14.260
like every weekend? Yes. Yes. Um, uh, the book I couldn't put

443
00:21:14.260 --> 00:21:18.700
down was my favorite book is the nightingale. Oh, by Kristen

444
00:21:18.700 --> 00:21:22.700
Hannah. It's really good. Um, like it's like a historical

445
00:21:22.700 --> 00:21:30.860
fiction. Okay. Um, and then the song that was a worship song in

446
00:21:30.860 --> 00:21:36.580
the river. Okay. By Jesus culture. Yeah. And a fun song.

447
00:21:36.820 --> 00:21:41.860
September by Earth, Wind and Fire. Nice. Like I, I feel like

448
00:21:41.860 --> 00:21:47.740
that just makes everyone happy. And then by the end of this

449
00:21:47.740 --> 00:21:50.620
year, I've been really working on my mental health, um, and

450
00:21:50.620 --> 00:21:56.780
using those tools to get my anxiety a lot level. So I'm just

451
00:21:56.780 --> 00:22:00.860
in the process of getting that handled. So, and I'm, I feel

452
00:22:00.860 --> 00:22:03.900
like I'm reaching a really good spot. So I feel like that's my

453
00:22:03.900 --> 00:22:08.220
goal of this year to really focus on that. Um, my beauty

454
00:22:08.220 --> 00:22:11.540
tip is to watch your face every night, even when you're tired.

455
00:22:12.420 --> 00:22:15.100
Oh my gosh, that was, I was going to say that before I pick

456
00:22:15.100 --> 00:22:18.860
the SPF. So good. Yeah. I love it. Yeah. If you're tired, just

457
00:22:19.020 --> 00:22:24.380
it's open. You got to do it face, man. Watch your face. I

458
00:22:24.380 --> 00:22:28.620
love it. Yeah. And then the item I'm not in my, I'm like

459
00:22:28.740 --> 00:22:32.060
working in a different town right now. So the only thing I

460
00:22:32.060 --> 00:22:34.300
brought from my home to like bring me comfort, I can't have

461
00:22:34.300 --> 00:22:37.220
my cat with me, but I bought like a little fidget cat that

462
00:22:37.220 --> 00:22:40.020
looks like my tuxedo cat and it's just like a little fidget.

463
00:22:40.300 --> 00:22:43.100
So to remind me of my cat. Um, but that's what I brought.

464
00:22:43.660 --> 00:22:46.900
That's awesome. Great job, Rochelle. All right, Diana, you

465
00:22:46.900 --> 00:22:47.700
are up.

466
00:22:50.220 --> 00:22:59.300
Okay. So Diana Donovan, I'm in Spring Hill, Tennessee. And my

467
00:22:59.300 --> 00:23:03.100
go to comfort meals, homemade macaroni and cheese, homemade

468
00:23:03.100 --> 00:23:09.860
guacamole, and a ribeye steak. Love it. Oh, with mushrooms. Um,

469
00:23:10.020 --> 00:23:15.940
let's see to relax. So many things. I'm a songwriter. So I

470
00:23:15.940 --> 00:23:23.580
love to, to sing. I'm also an artist. So painting relaxes me.

471
00:23:24.380 --> 00:23:31.700
And my scripture is Psalm 139. Because we are intricately

472
00:23:31.700 --> 00:23:36.900
woven and fearfully and wonderfully made. Go to movie

473
00:23:36.900 --> 00:23:42.740
Sweet Home Alabama. Maybe because like, I love it when she

474
00:23:42.740 --> 00:23:50.260
punches out. Or when she says you have a baby in a bar. That

475
00:23:50.260 --> 00:23:55.340
too. But when she no, no one talks to my mama like that. Oh,

476
00:23:55.340 --> 00:24:00.740
yeah. Love it. Um, can't think of a fiction book right now. Um,

477
00:24:00.740 --> 00:24:06.500
the song is, um, Brandon Lake sings, I've got a lion inside of

478
00:24:06.500 --> 00:24:09.820
my lungs. I don't know the name of it.

479
00:24:10.300 --> 00:24:13.940
It is gratitude. Isn't that one gratitude? You guys? It is

480
00:24:13.940 --> 00:24:16.500
gratitude. It's gratitude. Yeah,

481
00:24:16.700 --> 00:24:21.660
I love that. Um, and then the other song is because I'm happy.

482
00:24:24.420 --> 00:24:27.540
Oh, that one. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Very cool.

483
00:24:29.140 --> 00:24:35.180
Okay, this year, I want to pay off my credit card. Beauty tip.

484
00:24:35.540 --> 00:24:41.900
Okay, so I've had shoulder problems and can't raise my arms

485
00:24:41.900 --> 00:24:47.180
up real well. So what I would do and what got noticed in the

486
00:24:47.180 --> 00:24:52.540
hospital is like, when I get my hair washed, I take my hair and

487
00:24:52.540 --> 00:24:57.220
I just twist it around my finger. And it creates the most

488
00:24:57.260 --> 00:25:00.020
awesome curls without ever doing anything.

489
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:10.440
yep and it just looks really nice and the thing in my home all my artwork are

490
00:25:10.440 --> 00:25:16.560
you an artist I am oh my gosh I love that you guys that's awesome that's so

491
00:25:16.560 --> 00:25:21.520
awesome thanks for sharing that okay you guys there are a bunch more of you on so

492
00:25:21.520 --> 00:25:27.160
I want as many of you as possible to come on and share and also if we wind

493
00:25:27.160 --> 00:25:32.400
down from this and you guys want to ask me any question of course the floor will

494
00:25:32.400 --> 00:25:43.120
be always open for questions Kim you are up okay hi Renee hi okay so let's see

495
00:25:43.120 --> 00:25:48.640
the first one the comfort meal roast beef mashed potatoes and gravy my mom

496
00:25:48.640 --> 00:25:53.400
used to make that all the time for me for my birthday I love it

497
00:25:53.400 --> 00:25:58.360
the relaxing is sitting outside in nature either by a lake or a stream or

498
00:25:58.360 --> 00:26:06.320
a river alone though in nature my favorite are my verse that I've been

499
00:26:06.320 --> 00:26:11.080
looking at lately is Philippians 413 I can do all things through Christ who

500
00:26:11.080 --> 00:26:19.280
strengthens me let's see number four was the movie I don't know why I love this

501
00:26:19.280 --> 00:26:25.600
movie but it's something's got to give with Jack Nicholson and um what's her

502
00:26:25.600 --> 00:26:31.720
name I forgot her name no no no no what's no and Diane Diane Keaton Diane

503
00:26:31.720 --> 00:26:36.800
Keaton yeah and it's just a love story of that it's like an older ladies love

504
00:26:36.800 --> 00:26:42.560
story I guess that's I'm an older lady so that's why the song is the same wine

505
00:26:42.560 --> 00:26:46.760
that the previous lady just said gratitude by Brandon Lake I love Brandon

506
00:26:46.760 --> 00:26:56.240
Lake I also like hard-fought hallelujah and let's see oh the other music can't

507
00:26:56.240 --> 00:27:01.960
stop the feeling by Justin Timberlake makes me is uplifting and makes me want

508
00:27:01.960 --> 00:27:11.160
to dance the let's see oh my goal by the end of the year is to clean up I have

509
00:27:11.160 --> 00:27:14.280
three bedrooms I have four bedrooms but three of them are full of a lot of

510
00:27:14.280 --> 00:27:17.360
things and I'm trying to get rid of and get rid of the old and get rid of things

511
00:27:17.360 --> 00:27:23.000
so clean those out by the end of the year I've got a good start and then the

512
00:27:23.000 --> 00:27:27.240
beauty tip there's this great serum called retinol skin booster serum you

513
00:27:27.240 --> 00:27:31.040
can get it on Amazon but it's got niacinamide in it and a little bit of

514
00:27:31.040 --> 00:27:35.560
retinol and it's amazing for your skin put it in the chat put the name of it

515
00:27:35.560 --> 00:27:40.120
again in the chat when you're done will do and then what was the oh I didn't

516
00:27:40.120 --> 00:27:43.040
have the fiction book either and then the last one oh so I'm just gonna see if

517
00:27:43.040 --> 00:27:47.720
I don't know if this will show on that let me see so it's a well there's a

518
00:27:47.720 --> 00:27:52.320
picture of my two dogs and then in the corner let's say I have a picture well

519
00:27:52.320 --> 00:27:57.640
here I'll just take it off is my picture of Jesus which this is the same picture

520
00:27:57.640 --> 00:28:02.360
of Jesus that my grandfather always had in his bedroom and when I was a little

521
00:28:02.360 --> 00:28:07.720
girl I always used to see it and and he had great faith in Jesus and I just it's

522
00:28:07.720 --> 00:28:10.880
just always been comforting so I found the exact same one and I keep it in my

523
00:28:10.920 --> 00:28:15.440
bedroom just like he did and then my two dogs so he gets me through everything

524
00:28:15.440 --> 00:28:20.480
but my two dogs have been through well they're now deceased but it's a so that

525
00:28:20.480 --> 00:28:26.320
was a drawing of them and they got me through a lot of hard times over over

526
00:28:26.320 --> 00:28:30.760
the years it was just me and them so so between Jesus is my number one of course

527
00:28:30.760 --> 00:28:35.200
but my two dogs got me through a lot so those are the things that matter I love

528
00:28:35.200 --> 00:28:40.720
it I love it that's awesome thank you so much Leslie and you guys by the way

529
00:28:40.720 --> 00:28:44.240
if you're in the car or somewhere and you can't write these questions down but

530
00:28:44.240 --> 00:28:48.560
you want to play raise your hand I will call on you and I will feed you the

531
00:28:48.560 --> 00:28:53.320
questions one at a time because I want everybody to play tonight and okay

532
00:28:53.320 --> 00:29:00.120
Leslie you're up okay so I am in a car so you might have to feed me some so I'm

533
00:29:00.120 --> 00:29:05.240
Leslie and I live in Beaumont Texas down by the coast and by the Louisiana

534
00:29:05.240 --> 00:29:09.600
border I'm driving home from a vacation in Florida so I've been driving since

535
00:29:09.600 --> 00:29:18.440
prayer call this morning what we did stop once to visit somebody anyway my

536
00:29:18.440 --> 00:29:22.760
comfort meal is not my favorite meal but it's the one that I don't have to do

537
00:29:22.760 --> 00:29:30.720
anything to make and it's cereal so Cheerios or you know I love that

538
00:29:30.720 --> 00:29:36.680
Cinnamon Toast Crunch or something like that I'm not a big movie buff so I

539
00:29:36.680 --> 00:29:39.680
probably just get that Sweet Home Alabama was the first thing that came

540
00:29:39.680 --> 00:29:43.680
to my mind too but I really don't watch too much TV but I do read all the time

541
00:29:43.680 --> 00:29:50.320
and right now I'm reading Roses I just finished The Correspondent and Theo of

542
00:29:50.320 --> 00:29:54.240
Golden was another great one but I have a huge shelf that's just full I order my

543
00:29:54.240 --> 00:30:00.520
books on eBay and just read read read read read as far as

544
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:07.280
my comfort or self-care or relax, that's what it was. I'm in the pool every day with a book.

545
00:30:08.160 --> 00:30:14.880
So when I get a moment, yeah, I work from home so I get in the pool. As far as something,

546
00:30:14.880 --> 00:30:24.240
the special things in my home, my son is 14, so all of his little artwork from when he was younger,

547
00:30:24.240 --> 00:30:29.760
I have it decorated in my house. It just reminds me of those sweet times.

548
00:30:30.240 --> 00:30:40.160
As far as like products or beauty tips, I do have this whole face regimen with

549
00:30:40.160 --> 00:30:46.960
serums and all that stuff. I do do Botox, that's not a secret, but I also am very particular about

550
00:30:46.960 --> 00:30:53.840
keeping my face shaded. I wear a hat when I'm in the sun because I am a sun baker and so I'm

551
00:30:53.840 --> 00:31:03.440
careful not to let my face get burned. I don't remember, oh, my scripture is Isaiah 43.19,

552
00:31:03.440 --> 00:31:09.760
I think, where it's making a way in the wilderness, a river in the desert,

553
00:31:09.760 --> 00:31:17.040
do you not perceive the new thing I'm doing? And then my favorite worship song is anything

554
00:31:17.040 --> 00:31:22.800
by Cece Winans, but definitely Worthy of It All. I actually saw her at Red Rocks in Colorado.

555
00:31:24.080 --> 00:31:29.120
And then these aren't always the most uplifting, but I'm a 90s country girl and it will get me

556
00:31:29.120 --> 00:31:34.400
scooting around a dance floor in a second, so anything 90s country. I love it. Okay,

557
00:31:34.400 --> 00:31:38.640
so let's see. I don't think I left anything out. I know, you're doing good. You went out of order,

558
00:31:38.640 --> 00:31:42.800
but I think you got it all. Oh, did you say something you'll accomplish by the end of the

559
00:31:42.800 --> 00:31:52.240
year? Did I miss that? Maybe I'll wash my car. I love it. That's awesome. Okay, wait. You can mute

560
00:31:52.240 --> 00:32:00.960
me. Okay. No, I got you, girl. I got you. All right, got you. Kim, did you already go?

561
00:32:02.960 --> 00:32:06.560
Kim Esses, did you go already? I did. Okay, that's what I thought. So, okay,

562
00:32:08.000 --> 00:32:12.240
we just need to lower your hand so I don't get myself all messed up. All right, Kathy Johnson,

563
00:32:12.240 --> 00:32:19.760
or Kathy Jackson, you're up. Okay, here we are. Well, I hope you can see me. Can you see me?

564
00:32:19.760 --> 00:32:24.800
We can see you. Okay, it's on an iPad, so it's kind of wonky, but it's so funny that you mentioned

565
00:32:24.800 --> 00:32:29.520
Kim Esses. I'm going to go. So, I'm Kathy Jackson from Wichita, Kansas, but that you mentioned,

566
00:32:29.520 --> 00:32:34.000
Kim, and she just came on. So, she is my fun thing. By the end of the year, I'm going to go

567
00:32:34.000 --> 00:32:39.920
visit her in St. Louis, Missouri. What? I love that. Yes, she's my bestie. I love that. She's

568
00:32:39.920 --> 00:32:44.800
my bestie from the groupie. I mean, I cannot wait to meet that woman, and plus she has a lake house,

569
00:32:44.800 --> 00:32:49.280
so this comfort thing and relaxing in the water, so I get to go do that there, too.

570
00:32:50.000 --> 00:32:57.760
Let's go. My comfort food is a filet with a baked potato and a salad. That's just a go-to. It used

571
00:32:57.760 --> 00:33:02.400
to be fried chicken, but my gallbladder doesn't like that, so we're going to move on to a filet.

572
00:33:03.120 --> 00:33:07.840
And then my Romans 828, all things work together for good, to those that love the Lord,

573
00:33:07.840 --> 00:33:12.720
has been my go-to verse for several years now, still is. I don't really do many movies,

574
00:33:12.720 --> 00:33:16.800
and I don't do many fiction books, so I'll skip those, and just like Leslie that just went,

575
00:33:16.800 --> 00:33:22.000
The Worthy of It All, CeCe Williams, I love that song. The fun song, just like Rochelle,

576
00:33:22.000 --> 00:33:28.080
Anything Earth, Wind, and Fire Will Get Me Up and Moving. My beauty tip, I just started to

577
00:33:28.080 --> 00:33:33.440
work on these beef tallow products. They're kind of new, and so I'm kind of experimenting with those,

578
00:33:33.440 --> 00:33:37.920
and I like the way it makes me feel at night. I put it on when I wake up, and my skin still

579
00:33:38.640 --> 00:33:44.480
feels smooth at this age. Yep, I have some beef tallow too, yep. Yeah, and then the thing that

580
00:33:44.480 --> 00:33:48.960
matters to me right now still is really important to me. My dad was a full colonel in the military,

581
00:33:48.960 --> 00:33:54.640
and he passed away, and I have his flag. I decorated it with all of his ribbons and metals

582
00:33:54.640 --> 00:33:59.200
and things like that, so that's still very important to me. Love that. Did you get them

583
00:33:59.200 --> 00:34:04.400
all? I think you got them all. Yeah, I did. Good job. All right, Sally, you're up.

584
00:34:07.920 --> 00:34:18.800
Okay, so I'm in the car. Do you need me to read it? All right, I think I have it. So my

585
00:34:19.760 --> 00:34:27.120
comfort food is mac and cheese, and I do like a California roll. My movie is,

586
00:34:28.960 --> 00:34:37.760
is the movie next? Your go-to relax. Oh, so I was raised on the Oregon coast,

587
00:34:37.760 --> 00:34:46.800
so going to the beach, walking, and watching movies. Great. And then my script. Yep. My

588
00:34:46.800 --> 00:34:54.320
scripture is Hebrews 11, 6. Without faith, it is impossible to please God, because anyone who

589
00:34:54.320 --> 00:34:59.840
approaches Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who diligently seek Him.

590
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:11.360
him. And my movie is Accountant Monte Cristo. And, and then my

591
00:35:11.360 --> 00:35:16.640
books are the trilogy, The Mark of the Lion series by Francine

592
00:35:16.640 --> 00:35:25.000
River. My song is by Colton Dixon through it all. And the

593
00:35:25.000 --> 00:35:30.960
song that recently is that God gave me a vision of everything's

594
00:35:30.960 --> 00:35:35.320
coming up roses. And there's a song in the movie begin again,

595
00:35:35.840 --> 00:35:41.000
that just is named that everything's coming up roses.

596
00:35:41.680 --> 00:35:46.600
And then by the end of the year, I would like to finish two books

597
00:35:46.600 --> 00:35:56.720
a month. And my what is that beauty tip is there's a thing

598
00:35:56.720 --> 00:36:01.560
called everything. Let's talk ivermectin because ivermectin is

599
00:36:01.640 --> 00:36:08.040
amazing for putting on your skin, taking internally, the

600
00:36:08.040 --> 00:36:13.320
horse face is what I use, and just for any kind of infection

601
00:36:13.320 --> 00:36:18.800
on your skin. And then the thing in my house is my mom used to

602
00:36:18.800 --> 00:36:24.400
cater weddings, and she used a silver service and some

603
00:36:25.240 --> 00:36:29.280
candelabras. And when she passed away, I didn't think I would get

604
00:36:29.560 --> 00:36:32.600
because there's six kids. And so I didn't think I'd get like the

605
00:36:32.600 --> 00:36:37.640
candelabras. But after everybody else got what they wanted, I

606
00:36:37.720 --> 00:36:41.560
went online and I found a ton of them. So I have a bunch of

607
00:36:41.560 --> 00:36:46.440
candelabras and some tea sets that I cherish.

608
00:36:47.600 --> 00:36:51.720
I love that. I love it. You guys look at you're going to be

609
00:36:51.720 --> 00:36:56.720
learning good verses to jot down good songs to play good books to

610
00:36:56.720 --> 00:37:00.880
read. So we're learning some good stuff and some beauty tips.

611
00:37:01.080 --> 00:37:02.960
Okay, Felicia, you are up.

612
00:37:02.960 --> 00:37:14.200
Sorry, I'm at work. One second, please. Okay, so let me find it

613
00:37:14.200 --> 00:37:22.640
here. Give me a second. Okay, so my name is Felicia. I live in

614
00:37:22.640 --> 00:37:27.680
Virginia Beach, Virginia. My comfort food is salmon, or tea

615
00:37:27.840 --> 00:37:33.080
with spinach and jasmine white rice. Oh, nice. Oh, in the hot

616
00:37:33.080 --> 00:37:37.080
tub. It's something that helps me to relax here in the bubble.

617
00:37:37.640 --> 00:37:42.920
Nice. Psalms 9114. He said he's loved me. It helped me to

618
00:37:42.920 --> 00:37:47.840
understand that when something is set, it's hard and not easy

619
00:37:47.840 --> 00:37:53.880
to change. Was that Psalm 9114?

620
00:37:53.880 --> 00:38:02.120
Psalms 9114. Right. Sound of Music is a movie that I watch

621
00:38:02.120 --> 00:38:04.840
with my children. And every time I hear it, I would love to just

622
00:38:04.840 --> 00:38:09.600
keep playing around just like her. Yep. My worship song is

623
00:38:09.640 --> 00:38:16.560
S-E-U, What a God. Michael Jackson's song Human just gives

624
00:38:16.560 --> 00:38:23.000
me a connection to just love and peace and joy. Yeah. The next

625
00:38:23.040 --> 00:38:26.800
thing I want to do is get out of debt. I'm on my way to get

626
00:38:26.800 --> 00:38:32.560
that done by the end of this year. Use warm oil on my skin

627
00:38:32.600 --> 00:38:37.560
before bed or anytime. It's soothing and it just helps your

628
00:38:37.560 --> 00:38:44.240
skin to relax. I love it. I love it. Special item I hold dearly

629
00:38:44.280 --> 00:38:47.960
to my heart is the things that my clients gave me that I do

630
00:38:48.440 --> 00:38:52.960
home care. I'm a home care caregiver. They gave me before

631
00:38:52.960 --> 00:38:57.400
they get to the end of their life. That's it.

632
00:38:57.880 --> 00:39:01.520
Oh, I love that. That's so awesome. Thank you for sharing.

633
00:39:01.560 --> 00:39:02.480
Okay, Jeanette.

634
00:39:03.760 --> 00:39:08.040
Hello. So my full name is Jeanette Victoria Sweet. I use

635
00:39:08.040 --> 00:39:11.000
Victoria in this group, but it doesn't matter. I don't want

636
00:39:11.000 --> 00:39:14.040
people to get mixed up. So in case y'all don't know, when

637
00:39:14.040 --> 00:39:16.280
you're looking for me on Facebook, you know, so that's my

638
00:39:16.280 --> 00:39:20.960
full name. This is my mommy. Say hi, mommy. Hi, let's see.

639
00:39:21.360 --> 00:39:25.360
And let's see. Oh, there are ladies. You're right there. Oh,

640
00:39:27.560 --> 00:39:30.560
let me see. She just wanted to see the tiny little box. Okay,

641
00:39:30.560 --> 00:39:33.560
my comfort meal. So when I was growing up, mom would make

642
00:39:33.800 --> 00:39:37.640
chicken, rice pilaf and like broccoli or some really good

643
00:39:37.720 --> 00:39:43.320
veggie. The go to to relax is usually reading or not reading,

644
00:39:43.760 --> 00:39:47.520
relaxing with my feet up watching a movie. The verses

645
00:39:47.520 --> 00:39:52.200
that I'm recently on right now is in trusting for we bought by

646
00:39:52.200 --> 00:39:55.760
faith not by sight. Second Corinthians five, seven, Hebrews

647
00:39:55.760 --> 00:39:59.200
11, six, but without faith is possible. It is impossible to

648
00:39:59.200 --> 00:39:59.840
please him.

649
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:03.220
For he that comes to God must believe that he is, that he is the rewarder of them that

650
00:40:03.220 --> 00:40:05.740
diligently seek him.

651
00:40:05.740 --> 00:40:07.860
And let's see.

652
00:40:07.860 --> 00:40:11.340
And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief, verily I say unto you, if you have

653
00:40:11.340 --> 00:40:15.680
faith as green as a mustard seed, you shall stay under this mountain, be you out removed,

654
00:40:15.680 --> 00:40:17.220
and you shall cast him into the sea.

655
00:40:17.220 --> 00:40:18.860
Nothing shall be impossible for you.

656
00:40:18.860 --> 00:40:22.580
Matthew 17, 20.

657
00:40:22.580 --> 00:40:28.500
Just all on the faith and trusting is basically where I'm at right now.

658
00:40:28.500 --> 00:40:29.500
Let's see.

659
00:40:29.500 --> 00:40:36.740
The movie that I'll watch is Miss Congeniality with Sandra Bullock, or I love that one.

660
00:40:36.740 --> 00:40:38.360
Or the second one too.

661
00:40:38.360 --> 00:40:42.680
And then the other one that I love is While You Were Sleeping with Sandra Bullock and

662
00:40:42.680 --> 00:40:43.680
Peter Gallagher.

663
00:40:43.680 --> 00:40:44.680
Yeah.

664
00:40:44.680 --> 00:40:45.680
So funny.

665
00:40:45.680 --> 00:40:46.680
When did you fall in love?

666
00:40:46.680 --> 00:40:47.680
While you were sleeping?

667
00:40:47.680 --> 00:40:48.680
Fixing book.

668
00:40:48.680 --> 00:40:51.240
I don't really read that much.

669
00:40:51.240 --> 00:40:52.840
I'm so stinking busy.

670
00:40:52.840 --> 00:40:56.120
But I listen to the worship music all the time on the radio.

671
00:40:56.220 --> 00:40:59.100
And frequently I'll be making my breakfast or something in the morning and I'll just

672
00:40:59.100 --> 00:41:00.100
start dancing.

673
00:41:00.100 --> 00:41:01.100
And I love it.

674
00:41:01.100 --> 00:41:04.460
I love when God just can help me move around.

675
00:41:04.460 --> 00:41:09.820
And then let's see, something that I want to accomplish before the end of the year.

676
00:41:09.820 --> 00:41:10.820
I don't really know.

677
00:41:10.820 --> 00:41:12.100
I want to meet more friends.

678
00:41:12.100 --> 00:41:15.940
I was looking today on an app and there's something, there might be some apps I can

679
00:41:15.940 --> 00:41:20.820
meet people in town or even, you know, on Facebook lately, like a lot of ladies are

680
00:41:20.820 --> 00:41:23.700
saying hi to me and wanting to be my friend, which is kind of funny.

681
00:41:23.700 --> 00:41:25.500
So it's not like, hey, they want to date me.

682
00:41:25.880 --> 00:41:26.880
They're gay.

683
00:41:26.880 --> 00:41:27.880
They want to be my friend.

684
00:41:27.880 --> 00:41:28.880
So I'm trying to find new friends.

685
00:41:28.880 --> 00:41:30.960
And then also my sister-in-law made this.

686
00:41:30.960 --> 00:41:33.680
I'll see if I can turn the camera around.

687
00:41:33.680 --> 00:41:39.240
My sister-in-law painted this a little, oh goodness, a little bit ago.

688
00:41:39.240 --> 00:41:40.240
Yeah.

689
00:41:40.240 --> 00:41:46.040
It's a paint by number, but I just love it and it blesses me so much.

690
00:41:46.040 --> 00:41:50.200
I just get to look at it every day and just a beautiful picture of Jesus.

691
00:41:50.200 --> 00:41:53.200
So yeah, you can see that.

692
00:41:53.900 --> 00:41:57.700
And yeah, I can't think of anything else.

693
00:41:57.700 --> 00:41:58.700
Yeah.

694
00:41:58.700 --> 00:42:00.500
Oh, and I live in Florida.

695
00:42:00.500 --> 00:42:03.100
I'm from California, but we live in Florida now.

696
00:42:03.100 --> 00:42:04.100
You got it.

697
00:42:04.100 --> 00:42:05.100
Yeah.

698
00:42:08.700 --> 00:42:10.100
Are you set girl?

699
00:42:10.100 --> 00:42:11.100
Yeah.

700
00:42:11.100 --> 00:42:12.100
Sorry.

701
00:42:12.100 --> 00:42:15.420
I think it cut out for a second.

702
00:42:15.420 --> 00:42:16.420
So comfort meal.

703
00:42:16.420 --> 00:42:17.700
I'm like, I'm such a foodie.

704
00:42:17.700 --> 00:42:22.340
I love a lot of things and I don't necessarily have a go to, but a food that always makes

705
00:42:22.440 --> 00:42:31.120
me happy as I love tacos, like just the little street tacos, any kind of meat, most toppings,

706
00:42:31.120 --> 00:42:33.640
just got to have cheese or charcuterie.

707
00:42:33.640 --> 00:42:37.920
So meat and cheese really is what I like.

708
00:42:37.920 --> 00:42:45.960
To relax, I love a good book or just sitting in nature.

709
00:42:45.960 --> 00:42:53.340
For a verse, I could probably quote a lot, but Psalm 16 is one that stood out.

710
00:42:53.340 --> 00:42:59.260
So I know it's like 11 verses, but it's one that's always ministered to me just about

711
00:42:59.260 --> 00:43:05.260
like God being the one who preserves us.

712
00:43:05.260 --> 00:43:12.140
He's the one who like has all the good, like, because it's, I have no good besides you.

713
00:43:12.140 --> 00:43:14.880
The Lord is the portion of my inheritance.

714
00:43:14.880 --> 00:43:19.280
The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places, which I often try to remind myself that his

715
00:43:19.280 --> 00:43:25.920
plans are better than anything I could dream and they're lovely.

716
00:43:25.920 --> 00:43:29.560
And then it ends with, in your presence is fullness of joy and at your right hand are

717
00:43:29.560 --> 00:43:30.640
pleasures evermore.

718
00:43:30.640 --> 00:43:38.680
So a movie that I will always watch, I could probably name a lot, but the Pride and Prejudice,

719
00:43:38.680 --> 00:43:43.380
the A&E version, even though it's four hours, oh, I would watch that thing no matter where

720
00:43:43.380 --> 00:43:45.340
it's at in the movie.

721
00:43:45.340 --> 00:43:47.580
Or something like Mary Poppins or Sound of Music.

722
00:43:47.580 --> 00:43:51.300
I love classics.

723
00:43:51.300 --> 00:43:54.340
For books, I love historical Christian fiction.

724
00:43:54.340 --> 00:43:57.260
I literally like have been reading one right now.

725
00:43:57.260 --> 00:44:03.020
I have a few favorite authors, but this one, Rosanna M. White is probably my fave.

726
00:44:03.020 --> 00:44:05.540
I love everything she's written.

727
00:44:05.540 --> 00:44:07.580
And I like this is like the newest one.

728
00:44:07.580 --> 00:44:12.440
I have a list of the other ones that are coming out this year.

729
00:44:12.440 --> 00:44:21.760
For a worship song right now, Mighty Name of Jesus by Belonging Co. has been, has been

730
00:44:21.760 --> 00:44:22.760
it.

731
00:44:22.760 --> 00:44:23.760
I've been singing it a lot.

732
00:44:23.760 --> 00:44:24.760
Praying it a lot.

733
00:44:24.760 --> 00:44:27.680
Do you know Belonging Co. is like right down the street from me?

734
00:44:27.680 --> 00:44:28.680
That's so funny.

735
00:44:28.680 --> 00:44:33.560
Oh, little jelly of that because you're like Natalie Grant and Kerry Jo.

736
00:44:33.560 --> 00:44:34.560
My faves.

737
00:44:34.560 --> 00:44:37.560
Anyways, that's cool.

738
00:44:38.540 --> 00:44:42.180
Not that I like would never listen to anything else, but I really don't listen to anything

739
00:44:42.180 --> 00:44:43.700
but worship usually.

740
00:44:43.700 --> 00:44:48.340
But a fun worship song right now that I really love that always gets me going is Thank God

741
00:44:48.340 --> 00:44:49.340
I'm Free.

742
00:44:49.340 --> 00:44:52.340
I actually can't remember who does it, but it's so good.

743
00:44:52.340 --> 00:44:55.140
I feel like I need to dance every time I hear it.

744
00:44:55.140 --> 00:44:56.140
Nice.

745
00:44:56.140 --> 00:44:59.780
Someone is asking the author's name again that you mentioned in your book.

746
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:01.640
Yeah, I'll put it in there.

747
00:45:01.640 --> 00:45:02.640
Okay, good.

748
00:45:02.640 --> 00:45:07.080
I really, yeah, she's a good one.

749
00:45:07.080 --> 00:45:12.920
So by the end of the year, I want to learn Spanish.

750
00:45:12.920 --> 00:45:18.240
I've wanted to do it since I was 16 and I finally found an online course because there's

751
00:45:18.240 --> 00:45:20.440
nothing local.

752
00:45:20.440 --> 00:45:26.060
So I just finished the beginner class and I'm probably going to sign up for the next

753
00:45:26.060 --> 00:45:29.100
level in September after the book club is done.

754
00:45:30.100 --> 00:45:31.100
Love that.

755
00:45:31.100 --> 00:45:32.100
I love that.

756
00:45:32.100 --> 00:45:33.100
Thank you.

757
00:45:33.100 --> 00:45:34.100
Do you pick your little item?

758
00:45:34.100 --> 00:45:35.100
Yes.

759
00:45:35.100 --> 00:45:36.100
I also had a beauty tip.

760
00:45:36.100 --> 00:45:37.100
Oh, yeah.

761
00:45:37.100 --> 00:45:42.140
I ran out of mattifying powder a few weeks back and had a wedding and was very concerned

762
00:45:42.140 --> 00:45:47.940
my mascara would be running because I got to do non-toxic so I can't do waterproof.

763
00:45:47.940 --> 00:45:55.720
And I found a hack online that works cornstarch, as long as you're not allergic, it goes translucent.

764
00:45:55.720 --> 00:45:57.080
It feels great.

765
00:45:57.080 --> 00:45:58.080
Doesn't irritate.

766
00:45:58.080 --> 00:45:59.080
It doesn't even irritate it.

767
00:45:59.080 --> 00:46:00.080
What?

768
00:46:00.080 --> 00:46:01.080
It was perfect.

769
00:46:01.080 --> 00:46:02.080
Yeah.

770
00:46:02.080 --> 00:46:03.640
So cornstarch on the bottom here of your eye?

771
00:46:03.640 --> 00:46:06.760
Just under your lashes.

772
00:46:06.760 --> 00:46:07.760
That's amazing.

773
00:46:07.760 --> 00:46:08.760
I love it.

774
00:46:08.760 --> 00:46:11.240
I had, I couldn't honestly decide on an item.

775
00:46:11.240 --> 00:46:16.400
I'm a really sentimental girl, so picked three things that represent, so I have things from

776
00:46:16.400 --> 00:46:17.400
my grandma.

777
00:46:17.400 --> 00:46:21.160
I have her candlesticks.

778
00:46:21.160 --> 00:46:25.360
This was, my dad gave this to my mom years back and she didn't want to keep it anymore.

779
00:46:25.360 --> 00:46:30.280
It says, you cuddle good like a teddy bear should, and I've always loved it.

780
00:46:30.280 --> 00:46:33.340
So I always think of them and, you know, love story.

781
00:46:33.340 --> 00:46:40.200
And then some of my activation stuff, waiting for my hubby.

782
00:46:40.200 --> 00:46:41.200
So.

783
00:46:41.200 --> 00:46:42.200
Okay.

784
00:46:42.200 --> 00:46:47.680
I'm picturing you are going to marry a guy who's going to give the best teddy bear hugs.

785
00:46:47.680 --> 00:46:48.680
I hope so.

786
00:46:48.680 --> 00:46:52.840
You're going to hug him and it is going to feel like a big teddy bear.

787
00:46:52.840 --> 00:46:56.000
Like I just, I feel like that's going to be your clue.

788
00:46:56.000 --> 00:46:57.680
I would be so happy about that.

789
00:46:57.680 --> 00:46:58.680
So cool.

790
00:46:58.680 --> 00:46:59.680
I love it.

791
00:46:59.680 --> 00:47:00.680
Okay.

792
00:47:00.680 --> 00:47:01.680
Claudia.

793
00:47:01.680 --> 00:47:02.680
Hello everybody.

794
00:47:02.680 --> 00:47:03.680
Sorry, I'm in the car.

795
00:47:03.680 --> 00:47:14.560
So I'm kind of, I just have to have my picture, but, okay, I need to be probably reminded

796
00:47:14.560 --> 00:47:15.560
of the questions.

797
00:47:15.560 --> 00:47:16.560
I'm so sorry.

798
00:47:16.560 --> 00:47:17.560
No, no, no.

799
00:47:17.560 --> 00:47:18.560
Okay.

800
00:47:18.560 --> 00:47:20.160
So the first one is your comfort food.

801
00:47:20.160 --> 00:47:21.160
My comfort food.

802
00:47:21.160 --> 00:47:24.640
I really love Mediterranean food.

803
00:47:24.640 --> 00:47:28.880
I noticed that like, like I'm starting to get more into it.

804
00:47:28.880 --> 00:47:32.720
So that's something that like, when I go to, I'm like, when I think about like, if I'm

805
00:47:32.720 --> 00:47:36.240
having a stressful day, I'm like, you know what, Mediterranean.

806
00:47:36.240 --> 00:47:38.920
So that's your go-to thing to relax to then?

807
00:47:38.920 --> 00:47:39.920
Yes.

808
00:47:39.920 --> 00:47:40.920
Oh my gosh.

809
00:47:40.920 --> 00:47:41.920
That's so funny.

810
00:47:41.920 --> 00:47:42.920
I love that.

811
00:47:42.920 --> 00:47:43.920
Yes.

812
00:47:43.920 --> 00:47:44.920
Like a trick or treat kind of like.

813
00:47:44.920 --> 00:47:45.920
Yeah, girl.

814
00:47:45.920 --> 00:47:51.000
A verse that's doing something for you right now.

815
00:47:51.840 --> 00:47:52.840
I'm sorry?

816
00:47:52.840 --> 00:47:53.840
A verse.

817
00:47:53.840 --> 00:47:54.840
A Bible verse.

818
00:47:54.840 --> 00:47:55.840
A Bible verse?

819
00:47:55.840 --> 00:48:03.880
Usually the one that, the one that I really love is John 3, 16, for God so loved the world

820
00:48:03.880 --> 00:48:12.360
that, you know, I just love that one every time I see it and it just, I just love it.

821
00:48:12.360 --> 00:48:16.760
A movie you will watch over and over.

822
00:48:16.760 --> 00:48:21.720
You know, a movie that I, that I watched that I think it's kind of, it's kind of funny.

823
00:48:21.720 --> 00:48:24.240
I like to, because I love comedy.

824
00:48:24.240 --> 00:48:27.880
So one of the movies, it's called When Harry Met Sally.

825
00:48:27.880 --> 00:48:28.880
I don't know why.

826
00:48:28.880 --> 00:48:29.880
Oh yeah.

827
00:48:29.880 --> 00:48:30.880
I just, every time.

828
00:48:30.880 --> 00:48:33.880
I didn't think of that as a comedy, but it's like a rom-com.

829
00:48:33.880 --> 00:48:38.400
I just love it because it kind of reminds me, you know, you know, just, just the way

830
00:48:38.400 --> 00:48:43.240
things happen, the way that she keeps missing it, like in his, like she has him right in

831
00:48:43.240 --> 00:48:46.720
front of her and it's like, she doesn't see him.

832
00:48:46.720 --> 00:48:51.080
She just sees like, oh yeah, that's my, that's my friend and they, you know, just, I just

833
00:48:51.080 --> 00:48:52.080
love it.

834
00:48:52.080 --> 00:48:56.680
I don't know, Claudia, you might be marrying a guy from your past then, I'm just saying.

835
00:48:56.680 --> 00:49:03.400
Well, you know, I am, I am, I am dating somebody that I, I used to go to high school with.

836
00:49:03.400 --> 00:49:04.400
Okay.

837
00:49:04.400 --> 00:49:05.400
There we go.

838
00:49:05.400 --> 00:49:06.400
There you go.

839
00:49:06.400 --> 00:49:07.400
Okay.

840
00:49:07.400 --> 00:49:08.400
A fiction book.

841
00:49:08.400 --> 00:49:20.520
A book that I really, you know, the one that I, that I'm, I really, because I'm a teacher.

842
00:49:20.520 --> 00:49:28.960
And so a lot of times, we do a lot of the books that usually, I love a lot of like,

843
00:49:28.960 --> 00:49:32.240
different fairy tales, stuff like that.

844
00:49:32.240 --> 00:49:35.080
I love to, you know, I love all those stuff.

845
00:49:35.080 --> 00:49:42.520
So that, in particular, probably the one that sticks to me the most, I don't, for some

846
00:49:42.520 --> 00:49:45.160
reason, I really love like Alice in Wonderland.

847
00:49:45.160 --> 00:49:46.160
Nice.

848
00:49:46.160 --> 00:49:47.800
I think she's really.

849
00:49:47.800 --> 00:49:48.800
Okay.

850
00:49:48.800 --> 00:49:51.360
Worship song, any fun song?

851
00:49:51.360 --> 00:49:53.000
The worship song, definitely.

852
00:49:53.000 --> 00:49:58.200
When Jackie said it, I was like, oh yeah, yeah, that's the one, which is Waymaker.

853
00:49:58.200 --> 00:49:59.200
I love Waymaker.

854
00:49:59.200 --> 00:49:59.560
Yeah.

855
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:13.000
I'm a singer so I sing, and I love, that's one of the songs that I really like, have dear to my heart. Definitely.

856
00:50:13.000 --> 00:50:19.000
I love that. I love that. Okay. Something you'll accomplish by the end of the year?

857
00:50:20.000 --> 00:50:28.000
Well, right now I've been working on just totally redoing my room and redoing my environment.

858
00:50:28.000 --> 00:50:35.000
Even my daughter's on board. She's actually working on her, right now she's a teenager, she's 14.

859
00:50:35.000 --> 00:50:40.000
So she's thinking about doing some kind of like a gaming room and all of us are on board.

860
00:50:40.000 --> 00:50:45.000
You know, it's like we're kind of, you know, trying to redo the house of different things of how.

861
00:50:45.000 --> 00:50:51.000
So getting rid of a lot of stuff to enter with the new, you know, the new vibe. So that's.

862
00:50:51.000 --> 00:50:56.000
Great. I love it. Your go-to beauty tip?

863
00:50:56.000 --> 00:51:01.000
Beauty tip? Well, right now what I've been doing that it's actually been helping me sleep

864
00:51:01.000 --> 00:51:06.000
because there was a lot of times that I wasn't sleeping really well is drinking.

865
00:51:06.000 --> 00:51:11.000
It's called calm. It's magnesium. Magnesium, the calm.

866
00:51:11.000 --> 00:51:18.000
It's really like, it's amazing. It's really, really good. I've been feeling refreshed and renewed in the morning.

867
00:51:18.000 --> 00:51:22.000
I love it. An item in your home that matters to you?

868
00:51:22.000 --> 00:51:28.000
Something that really matters to me definitely is my pictures.

869
00:51:28.000 --> 00:51:31.000
I want to say like a lot of the stuff, a lot of memories that I carry.

870
00:51:32.000 --> 00:51:39.000
I want to say that. Yeah, the picture is just of that I could go back to and remember.

871
00:51:39.000 --> 00:51:43.000
I want to say that that's something that's very special to me.

872
00:51:43.000 --> 00:51:47.000
I love it. I love it. Thank you so much, Claudia. Okay.

873
00:51:47.000 --> 00:51:53.000
So I'm going to still give people a chance if they want to, but I'm also going to switch gears.

874
00:51:53.000 --> 00:51:59.000
You guys can use this time now to ask me anything you want to know.

875
00:51:59.000 --> 00:52:01.000
And I know some of you guys heard my love story.

876
00:52:01.000 --> 00:52:05.000
Some of you have known my story because you've walked with me for so long too,

877
00:52:05.000 --> 00:52:09.000
but your question can be a dating question about yourself,

878
00:52:09.000 --> 00:52:12.000
any question about yourself that you've been wanting to know,

879
00:52:12.000 --> 00:52:16.000
or maybe there's something like, Renee, how did you know about this?

880
00:52:16.000 --> 00:52:17.000
Or how did you change this?

881
00:52:17.000 --> 00:52:23.000
So you can either raise your hand to keep introducing yourself and I'll keep doing that.

882
00:52:23.000 --> 00:52:28.000
But if you have a burning question and you were here hoping Jackie was going to answer it,

883
00:52:28.000 --> 00:52:32.000
I will do my very best to answer it, or if it's a question just for me.

884
00:52:32.000 --> 00:52:36.000
Patty, go ahead. You got your hand raised.

885
00:52:36.000 --> 00:52:38.000
Okay. Thank you, Renee.

886
00:52:38.000 --> 00:52:40.000
You bet.

887
00:52:40.000 --> 00:52:43.000
I know, of course, that, you know, God is in control.

888
00:52:43.000 --> 00:52:49.000
There aren't any guarantees, all of that, right?

889
00:52:49.000 --> 00:52:57.000
If you met a man, if I, well, you know, if I met a guy at church or at Toastmasters,

890
00:52:57.000 --> 00:53:00.000
someplace where you go every week, right?

891
00:53:00.000 --> 00:53:08.000
And the person was looking out for me, talking to me, saying he liked chatting with me,

892
00:53:08.000 --> 00:53:12.000
all of these kinds of things.

893
00:53:12.000 --> 00:53:14.000
I know it's not exact.

894
00:53:14.000 --> 00:53:21.000
About how long would you say you would wait before you said, well, he's not going to ask me out.

895
00:53:21.000 --> 00:53:24.000
He's just a friend.

896
00:53:24.000 --> 00:53:27.000
I would say as soon as you can't handle it anymore.

897
00:53:27.000 --> 00:53:32.000
Like, if you're curious and it's been, like, a couple weeks, I mean, here's the thing.

898
00:53:32.000 --> 00:53:35.000
Remind me, like, how large is an audience?

899
00:53:35.000 --> 00:53:40.000
Like, remind everybody what Toastmasters is, because not everybody knows what Toastmasters is.

900
00:53:40.000 --> 00:53:45.000
Okay. So Toastmasters is a public speaking and leadership development organization

901
00:53:45.000 --> 00:53:49.000
where we basically practice giving speeches to each other

902
00:53:49.000 --> 00:53:55.000
and also doing off-the-cuff speaking in something called Table Topics and evaluating each other.

903
00:53:55.000 --> 00:53:57.000
Oh, wow. Okay.

904
00:53:57.000 --> 00:54:00.000
So this is, and this, how long have y'all been going to this?

905
00:54:00.000 --> 00:54:02.000
How long have you seen him at your group?

906
00:54:02.000 --> 00:54:09.000
There isn't anybody right now, but in the past, I have waited up to a year thinking about this.

907
00:54:09.000 --> 00:54:10.000
Oh, no.

908
00:54:10.000 --> 00:54:13.000
And he never came around.

909
00:54:13.000 --> 00:54:16.000
So I'm just trying to, like, avoid that.

910
00:54:16.000 --> 00:54:17.000
Here's the thing.

911
00:54:17.000 --> 00:54:23.000
When we're in environments like that where we have to, like, continue to cross paths with them,

912
00:54:23.000 --> 00:54:27.000
if we're going to drop a hanky, we want to drop it very nonchalantly.

913
00:54:27.000 --> 00:54:31.000
Like, oh, my gosh, Joe, I love, you know, hanging out with you here.

914
00:54:31.000 --> 00:54:33.000
It's so much fun.

915
00:54:33.000 --> 00:54:39.000
If you're ever open to, like, meeting offline and going out for a drink or go putt-putt or go bowling,

916
00:54:39.000 --> 00:54:40.000
I would love to do that.

917
00:54:40.000 --> 00:54:42.000
You just seem like a really fun person.

918
00:54:42.000 --> 00:54:44.000
But please, no obligation at all.

919
00:54:44.000 --> 00:54:48.000
Don't feel like it's awkward if you see me and that's not something you want to do.

920
00:54:48.000 --> 00:54:51.000
I just wanted to just throw that out there because you're so fun to hang out with.

921
00:54:51.000 --> 00:54:53.000
Boom.

922
00:54:53.000 --> 00:54:59.000
So you cast it out, and you also let them know, like, hey, if that's not where you're, you know,

923
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:02.340
If you're not interested, please, like, no harm, no foul.

924
00:55:02.340 --> 00:55:03.780
Like, we can still hang out here.

925
00:55:03.780 --> 00:55:05.500
It's going to be great.

926
00:55:05.500 --> 00:55:09.120
But this way, you toss it out, because, and then

927
00:55:09.120 --> 00:55:11.100
if he acts super weird, then whatever.

928
00:55:11.100 --> 00:55:13.980
Like, I don't know, did you really lose a best friend?

929
00:55:13.980 --> 00:55:16.180
So I'm the kind of person, like you, Patty,

930
00:55:16.180 --> 00:55:18.300
I used to, like, wade around, like, oh my gosh,

931
00:55:18.300 --> 00:55:19.100
I think he likes me.

932
00:55:19.100 --> 00:55:20.660
I think he likes me.

933
00:55:20.660 --> 00:55:24.780
Like, I wished I dropped a lot more hankies a lot faster.

934
00:55:24.780 --> 00:55:29.140
Would I have had more awkward moments

935
00:55:29.140 --> 00:55:30.720
if it was a no?

936
00:55:30.720 --> 00:55:31.680
Yes.

937
00:55:31.680 --> 00:55:34.880
Would I have saved myself a lot of fantasy dreaming

938
00:55:34.880 --> 00:55:36.560
and moved my butt on?

939
00:55:36.560 --> 00:55:37.920
Yes.

940
00:55:37.920 --> 00:55:42.000
So I would, if I could go back and tell my younger self

941
00:55:42.000 --> 00:55:45.320
something, it would be drop a hanky sooner,

942
00:55:45.320 --> 00:55:47.320
deal with the stink if it's a no,

943
00:55:47.320 --> 00:55:50.600
but you will save yourself months of dreaming shit up

944
00:55:50.600 --> 00:55:51.680
that never happens.

945
00:55:51.680 --> 00:55:55.720
So I hope that answered your question.

946
00:55:55.720 --> 00:55:57.120
Yes, thank you, Renee.

947
00:55:57.120 --> 00:55:59.000
You bet, sweetie.

948
00:55:59.000 --> 00:56:01.380
How did you know the difference between potential

949
00:56:01.380 --> 00:56:03.620
for holistic mutual attraction?

950
00:56:03.620 --> 00:56:04.540
All right, let's see.

951
00:56:04.540 --> 00:56:05.340
Got to come on here.

952
00:56:05.340 --> 00:56:06.820
OK, how did you know the difference

953
00:56:06.820 --> 00:56:10.100
between the potential for holistic mutual attraction

954
00:56:10.100 --> 00:56:12.300
with a man of God versus a godly man,

955
00:56:12.300 --> 00:56:14.220
but you weren't really sure if you were really

956
00:56:14.220 --> 00:56:16.060
attracted to him?

957
00:56:16.060 --> 00:56:18.740
OK.

958
00:56:18.740 --> 00:56:21.900
It's really well, like, it's convoluted.

959
00:56:21.900 --> 00:56:23.180
I apologize for that.

960
00:56:23.180 --> 00:56:25.220
No, no, it's OK.

961
00:56:26.120 --> 00:56:28.080
I've been operating on all the cylinders.

962
00:56:31.120 --> 00:56:34.720
I mean, here's what I can say about attraction.

963
00:56:34.720 --> 00:56:38.160
I think that in the past, there have been seasons

964
00:56:38.160 --> 00:56:43.000
where if I wasn't feeling the chemistry that Jackie would

965
00:56:43.000 --> 00:56:47.200
call chaos, physical attraction right away, I kind of poo-pooed.

966
00:56:47.200 --> 00:56:49.960
I think I went way over to the other side

967
00:56:49.960 --> 00:56:52.120
when I first joined this program,

968
00:56:52.120 --> 00:56:54.440
and I almost considered marrying a guy

969
00:56:54.460 --> 00:56:56.580
that I was not physically attracted to.

970
00:56:56.580 --> 00:56:58.700
It was just nothing was just coming.

971
00:56:58.700 --> 00:57:01.620
And Jackie was like, oh my gosh, no, girl.

972
00:57:01.620 --> 00:57:05.740
And so now my rule of thumb is I wouldn't suggest

973
00:57:05.740 --> 00:57:09.740
going exclusive with somebody unless you're feeling like you

974
00:57:09.740 --> 00:57:11.820
want to make out with them.

975
00:57:11.820 --> 00:57:13.180
There's a part of you that should

976
00:57:13.180 --> 00:57:16.100
want to kiss the guy that you're about to be exclusive with.

977
00:57:16.100 --> 00:57:18.820
And if you're still feeling like, eh,

978
00:57:18.820 --> 00:57:22.860
then it's probably starting to tell you something.

979
00:57:22.880 --> 00:57:27.760
My suspicion is in, well, again, somebody just

980
00:57:27.760 --> 00:57:30.520
mentioned when Harry met Sally.

981
00:57:30.520 --> 00:57:34.960
So there are plenty of people that grow in their attraction.

982
00:57:34.960 --> 00:57:37.680
And so I wouldn't want to say, well,

983
00:57:37.680 --> 00:57:40.400
in 30 days, if you don't feel like you can make out with them,

984
00:57:40.400 --> 00:57:41.840
then you're not attracted to them.

985
00:57:41.840 --> 00:57:45.040
I feel like it may not be that hard and fast.

986
00:57:45.040 --> 00:57:47.120
I would say every time you're with them,

987
00:57:47.120 --> 00:57:49.080
do you want to see them more?

988
00:57:49.080 --> 00:57:51.080
Every time you're with them, do you

989
00:57:51.080 --> 00:57:53.740
want to hug them, hold their hand?

990
00:57:53.740 --> 00:57:56.300
The longer you're with hanging out with somebody,

991
00:57:56.300 --> 00:57:58.940
the closer you're going to want to connect with them.

992
00:57:58.940 --> 00:58:02.860
And as long as it's more than it was the previous time

993
00:58:02.860 --> 00:58:07.020
and you're starting to feel like it coming closer together,

994
00:58:07.020 --> 00:58:11.060
then I think it's worth to keep kind of going forward.

995
00:58:11.060 --> 00:58:12.700
Sometimes, like I have a girlfriend.

996
00:58:12.700 --> 00:58:15.540
She used to be in this program a very long time ago.

997
00:58:15.540 --> 00:58:16.180
She's dating.

998
00:58:16.180 --> 00:58:17.100
And I actually did it.

999
00:58:17.100 --> 00:58:19.980
She had me do a few private coaching sessions

1000
00:58:19.980 --> 00:58:20.900
with this guy.

1001
00:58:21.560 --> 00:58:22.600
Girl, what the heck?

1002
00:58:22.600 --> 00:58:23.400
He's hot.

1003
00:58:23.400 --> 00:58:25.200
I don't know why you're not dating this guy.

1004
00:58:25.200 --> 00:58:27.000
Because I have a whole suite of women.

1005
00:58:27.000 --> 00:58:31.400
And last year's single, I will introduce him to.

1006
00:58:31.400 --> 00:58:34.880
And she's waited so long for the kiss that I'm like, oh my gosh,

1007
00:58:34.880 --> 00:58:36.020
just kiss the guy.

1008
00:58:36.020 --> 00:58:38.960
Just find out if you guys like.

1009
00:58:38.960 --> 00:58:42.880
And so you don't want to wait so long that you've

1010
00:58:42.880 --> 00:58:45.640
made the first kiss a really big deal.

1011
00:58:45.640 --> 00:58:48.240
So sometimes you might just have to lock lips

1012
00:58:48.240 --> 00:58:51.980
and see if it's going to do anything.

1013
00:58:51.980 --> 00:58:54.380
But I would say trust your gut.

1014
00:58:54.380 --> 00:59:00.180
And if you're hesitant, see what's causing the hesitation.

1015
00:59:00.180 --> 00:59:01.800
Is it old fears coming up?

1016
00:59:01.800 --> 00:59:03.220
Is it lies coming up?

1017
00:59:03.220 --> 00:59:07.300
Or he's a really nice guy, but he's just not your guy.

1018
00:59:07.300 --> 00:59:10.140
Yeah, and that's the hard part, Renee.

1019
00:59:10.140 --> 00:59:12.460
I appreciate your description and the stories.

1020
00:59:12.460 --> 00:59:16.060
I just feel like in person, we really

1021
00:59:16.060 --> 00:59:17.880
had more of a connection.

1022
00:59:17.880 --> 00:59:20.880
But then we've done video calls.

1023
00:59:20.880 --> 00:59:24.640
And it feels like multiple ones, like both video calls

1024
00:59:24.640 --> 00:59:27.520
and regular phone calls in between the in-person times

1025
00:59:27.520 --> 00:59:30.160
of the long-distance relationship

1026
00:59:30.160 --> 00:59:34.920
are just feeling more and more surface and disconnected for me.

1027
00:59:34.920 --> 00:59:37.360
I'm not emotionally satisfied.

1028
00:59:37.360 --> 00:59:38.840
And I think he's fine.

1029
00:59:38.840 --> 00:59:42.400
And so I think for him, it's like, wow, this is great.

1030
00:59:42.420 --> 00:59:50.140
And I'm over here kind of just feeling really sort of like

1031
00:59:50.140 --> 00:59:51.420
a little bit ambivalent.

1032
00:59:51.420 --> 00:59:55.340
But also, he's kind of overwhelmed.

1033
00:59:55.340 --> 00:59:57.660
Because I'm trying to be sensitive to he gets easily

1034
00:59:57.660 --> 00:59:59.300
overwhelmed with emotion.

1035
00:59:59.300 --> 01:00:02.300
And so I'm trying to be sensitive to that.

1036
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:03.200
I need to show up fully, but then I also don't want to overwhelm him.

1037
01:00:03.200 --> 01:00:05.600
And then I'm like, can he handle me?

1038
01:00:05.600 --> 01:00:06.160
I don't know.

1039
01:00:06.160 --> 01:00:08.560
How far away are you guys from each other?

1040
01:00:08.560 --> 01:00:11.360
We're literally on the opposite side of the country.

1041
01:00:11.360 --> 01:00:13.400
He's on the West Coast and I'm on.

1042
01:00:13.400 --> 01:00:14.360
I'm OK.

1043
01:00:14.360 --> 01:00:17.840
Normally, I feel like some of what you're experiencing, Melissa,

1044
01:00:17.840 --> 01:00:20.720
isn't just a physical attraction issue.

1045
01:00:20.720 --> 01:00:22.280
It's a long distance problem.

1046
01:00:22.280 --> 01:00:23.200
It is.

1047
01:00:23.200 --> 01:00:27.640
It is really hard to make an emotional and physical connection digitally.

1048
01:00:27.640 --> 01:00:31.720
And so that's why Jackie will say, like, once you see each other in person,

1049
01:00:31.720 --> 01:00:36.640
you need like long distance relationships are either going to move forward

1050
01:00:36.640 --> 01:00:39.120
or they're going to fizzle out and they will fizzle out

1051
01:00:39.120 --> 01:00:41.240
if you're not getting enough in-person time.

1052
01:00:41.240 --> 01:00:45.680
And he just may not have enough camera charisma.

1053
01:00:45.680 --> 01:00:49.560
And it's so like it's just it's really like when is when is the last time

1054
01:00:49.560 --> 01:00:52.200
you guys saw each other in person?

1055
01:00:52.200 --> 01:00:56.960
It's been like two or three weeks ago and we're about to see each other again.

1056
01:00:57.000 --> 01:01:02.000
But it's just like my I I haven't had this much trouble connecting emotionally,

1057
01:01:02.000 --> 01:01:06.400
even in the long distance interactions I've had with other guys.

1058
01:01:06.400 --> 01:01:10.240
But I think part of it is I just don't know.

1059
01:01:10.240 --> 01:01:15.640
Like he kind of leans avoidant and I feel like he's he's like easily overwhelmed.

1060
01:01:15.640 --> 01:01:19.200
Like I'll share real things with him without being like, yeah,

1061
01:01:19.200 --> 01:01:21.080
I'm not expecting him to regulate me.

1062
01:01:21.080 --> 01:01:25.720
I'm self-regulating, but I just kind of feel like he doesn't really know

1063
01:01:25.760 --> 01:01:28.080
how to engage or really enter in.

1064
01:01:28.080 --> 01:01:32.360
And he kind of ends up repeating some of the sort of basic things like,

1065
01:01:32.360 --> 01:01:34.960
oh, you're doing great and you're great at this.

1066
01:01:34.960 --> 01:01:37.720
But it just start it feels a little bit surface.

1067
01:01:37.720 --> 01:01:42.480
And it's like I want to be known deeply and I like to know other people deeply.

1068
01:01:42.480 --> 01:01:47.600
And I just am wondering if he has the emotional capacity in general to sustain that.

1069
01:01:48.040 --> 01:01:53.080
I understand the distance thing, but it's like it just feels like it's inconsistent.

1070
01:01:53.160 --> 01:01:58.520
Well, he may need and I don't know, like how often have you guys seen each other in person?

1071
01:01:59.480 --> 01:02:05.840
We've logged ninety one in person hours together and one at twenty five hours of that.

1072
01:02:05.840 --> 01:02:10.960
We're in Texas and the other sixty six hours were in his state in the northwest.

1073
01:02:11.120 --> 01:02:13.400
How many how many different trips was this, though?

1074
01:02:13.440 --> 01:02:15.680
It was just two marathon trips.

1075
01:02:16.080 --> 01:02:19.360
OK, and we have another one coming up where he'll see more of my world

1076
01:02:19.360 --> 01:02:21.960
for the first time and meet some of my key people,

1077
01:02:22.320 --> 01:02:26.680
because I've seen some of his world and met some of his key people, but not vice versa.

1078
01:02:27.080 --> 01:02:28.800
Well, here's what may be happening.

1079
01:02:28.800 --> 01:02:35.040
He may just need more like you like swimming on the deep end of the swimming pool.

1080
01:02:35.080 --> 01:02:36.520
I do, too. Yeah.

1081
01:02:36.520 --> 01:02:41.200
But not a lot of guys can maintain that a lot.

1082
01:02:41.600 --> 01:02:45.080
And so if he was having a lot of fun with you,

1083
01:02:45.360 --> 01:02:49.200
like if he was in the same state with you and he was having a lot of fun with you,

1084
01:02:49.200 --> 01:02:53.200
he might be able to have a lot of deep conversations with you peppered in between.

1085
01:02:53.640 --> 01:02:58.680
But if all your video dates are turning into heavy, deep conversation

1086
01:02:59.240 --> 01:03:04.040
and he's not getting like some fun, spontaneous spontaneity in the middle of it,

1087
01:03:04.040 --> 01:03:09.760
it might be it might be a lot for him that he can't handle it.

1088
01:03:09.760 --> 01:03:12.360
It just might mean he needs more fun.

1089
01:03:12.760 --> 01:03:16.600
And so I might encourage you to do on your long distance dates

1090
01:03:16.600 --> 01:03:20.800
is do something fun, cook a meal together, go for a walk together.

1091
01:03:20.800 --> 01:03:22.600
Like you walk down your town.

1092
01:03:22.600 --> 01:03:28.120
He walks down his town, like try to pepper in some fun activities.

1093
01:03:28.480 --> 01:03:31.880
So it's in between the heavy conversation

1094
01:03:32.640 --> 01:03:33.840
and then in person.

1095
01:03:33.840 --> 01:03:35.880
See, see how it is in person.

1096
01:03:35.880 --> 01:03:39.080
See if he can balance serious and fun.

1097
01:03:39.960 --> 01:03:46.080
My suspicion is how he is in person is really more real life.

1098
01:03:46.600 --> 01:03:49.680
And so he just may have a hard time.

1099
01:03:49.680 --> 01:03:53.200
If all your video dates are turning into serious conversations,

1100
01:03:53.400 --> 01:03:55.880
he just may have a hard time sustaining that.

1101
01:03:56.920 --> 01:03:58.560
I hear you.

1102
01:03:58.560 --> 01:04:02.720
And I agree, Renee, based on kind of what you're saying about the limits

1103
01:04:02.720 --> 01:04:05.160
of the male mind or maybe someone who leans avoidant.

1104
01:04:05.560 --> 01:04:11.000
At the same time, what tends to happen in practice is that I find myself

1105
01:04:11.000 --> 01:04:15.680
being way more superficial than I actually am because I'm trying to be sensitive.

1106
01:04:16.000 --> 01:04:20.160
And so we're just talking about all these things that are on the surface

1107
01:04:20.160 --> 01:04:21.600
and it's actually not that deep.

1108
01:04:21.600 --> 01:04:24.680
And so I go away not feeling very.

1109
01:04:25.840 --> 01:04:27.040
I don't want you to do that.

1110
01:04:27.040 --> 01:04:30.120
I don't I don't want you to just talk surface.

1111
01:04:30.120 --> 01:04:32.200
I actually want you guys to talk less.

1112
01:04:32.600 --> 01:04:35.360
I literally want you to pull out a board game.

1113
01:04:35.360 --> 01:04:37.160
I want you to pull out cards.

1114
01:04:37.160 --> 01:04:40.920
I want you guys to go to a park, like literally on a phone.

1115
01:04:40.920 --> 01:04:43.240
You're walking to a park together.

1116
01:04:43.240 --> 01:04:47.400
Like, I want you to like go shopping through an art gallery together.

1117
01:04:47.400 --> 01:04:51.480
Like, you know, maybe you go play pop, but he goes play pop,

1118
01:04:51.480 --> 01:04:54.960
but because I'm not asking you to dumb your conversations down

1119
01:04:54.960 --> 01:04:59.320
or make it surfacy, I'm trying to say that men have like.

1120
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:03.600
not all men have the capacity to just keep having

1121
01:05:03.600 --> 01:05:06.120
conversation after conversation after conversation.

1122
01:05:06.120 --> 01:05:09.240
They want to live life because I promise you

1123
01:05:09.240 --> 01:05:11.200
when you're married, like I will say this,

1124
01:05:11.200 --> 01:05:12.360
when Brian and I were dating,

1125
01:05:12.360 --> 01:05:15.360
we could spend four hours every single night talking.

1126
01:05:16.660 --> 01:05:19.180
We do not spend four hours every single night

1127
01:05:19.180 --> 01:05:20.120
talking married.

1128
01:05:20.120 --> 01:05:23.400
I mean, like sometimes we're just,

1129
01:05:23.400 --> 01:05:25.800
no, I mean, sometimes we're just tired.

1130
01:05:25.800 --> 01:05:27.580
Sometimes we're just watching a movie.

1131
01:05:27.580 --> 01:05:29.540
Sometimes we are having a deep,

1132
01:05:29.540 --> 01:05:32.040
now the second I want a deep conversation,

1133
01:05:32.040 --> 01:05:34.720
Brian can go deep immediately with me.

1134
01:05:34.720 --> 01:05:37.960
So he has the capacity and whenever I want to,

1135
01:05:37.960 --> 01:05:39.900
I'm just saying that's not real life.

1136
01:05:39.900 --> 01:05:42.320
You're not going to be married to somebody

1137
01:05:42.320 --> 01:05:45.760
and have these deep questions,

1138
01:05:45.760 --> 01:05:47.400
conversations every single night.

1139
01:05:47.400 --> 01:05:49.960
Like you'll be doing life with that person.

1140
01:05:49.960 --> 01:05:52.360
So sometimes it's going to Kroger going,

1141
01:05:52.360 --> 01:05:54.640
okay, which brand saw cream do you want?

1142
01:05:54.640 --> 01:05:56.200
Like, it's just like, you know,

1143
01:05:57.280 --> 01:05:58.920
like, oh my gosh, you just farted.

1144
01:05:59.300 --> 01:06:00.140
You need something.

1145
01:06:00.140 --> 01:06:00.980
Okay.

1146
01:06:00.980 --> 01:06:03.020
Too real, too real.

1147
01:06:03.020 --> 01:06:03.860
It's so real.

1148
01:06:03.860 --> 01:06:06.740
Like, and so, but I will say,

1149
01:06:06.740 --> 01:06:09.820
pay attention to your gut when you visit with him,

1150
01:06:09.820 --> 01:06:14.820
when he comes, if you're feeling unsettled,

1151
01:06:15.780 --> 01:06:20.380
I believe that you will either lean in and feel peace

1152
01:06:20.380 --> 01:06:23.060
or you'll feel resistance the whole time.

1153
01:06:23.060 --> 01:06:26.460
Like see what your energy does in his presence.

1154
01:06:26.480 --> 01:06:29.240
If you lean in and you feel like this kind

1155
01:06:29.240 --> 01:06:30.920
of connecting thing happening,

1156
01:06:30.920 --> 01:06:33.520
but if you're constantly like the whole time kind of going,

1157
01:06:33.520 --> 01:06:36.160
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.

1158
01:06:36.160 --> 01:06:37.520
Then, you know.

1159
01:06:37.520 --> 01:06:38.360
Okay.

1160
01:06:38.360 --> 01:06:39.180
Okay.

1161
01:06:39.180 --> 01:06:41.160
I'm going to be rooting for you, Melissa.

1162
01:06:41.160 --> 01:06:46.160
Like I want you, like you need a nerdy, smart guy

1163
01:06:46.320 --> 01:06:49.840
who can be like awesome with you.

1164
01:06:49.840 --> 01:06:50.680
Oh, thank you.

1165
01:06:50.680 --> 01:06:52.640
I can't wait to hear about it.

1166
01:06:52.640 --> 01:06:53.480
Thank you, Renee.

1167
01:06:53.480 --> 01:06:56.040
I appreciate, I appreciate the reality check as well.

1168
01:06:56.900 --> 01:07:00.540
I'm trying to be realistic and stay in the real world.

1169
01:07:00.540 --> 01:07:01.380
I know.

1170
01:07:01.380 --> 01:07:02.200
I know.

1171
01:07:02.200 --> 01:07:03.040
I'm that, that's why I'm here for you.

1172
01:07:03.040 --> 01:07:03.860
All right, Kalandra.

1173
01:07:03.860 --> 01:07:04.700
I appreciate it.

1174
01:07:08.940 --> 01:07:10.100
Go ahead, Kalandra.

1175
01:07:12.340 --> 01:07:13.180
Where'd you go?

1176
01:07:13.180 --> 01:07:14.020
Where'd you go?

1177
01:07:14.020 --> 01:07:14.840
I'll be here.

1178
01:07:14.840 --> 01:07:16.380
Yes.

1179
01:07:16.380 --> 01:07:19.020
So I've been dating a guy for a couple of months now

1180
01:07:19.020 --> 01:07:22.940
and he actually check marks the box off the,

1181
01:07:22.940 --> 01:07:25.540
both the non-negotiable and the preferences.

1182
01:07:26.240 --> 01:07:27.080
A lot.

1183
01:07:28.400 --> 01:07:29.520
And I enjoy him.

1184
01:07:29.520 --> 01:07:30.360
It's easy.

1185
01:07:30.360 --> 01:07:31.180
We're fun.

1186
01:07:31.180 --> 01:07:32.020
Lots of chemistry.

1187
01:07:32.020 --> 01:07:33.160
We can, you know, go to the gym together,

1188
01:07:33.160 --> 01:07:35.080
hang out, be romantic, whatever.

1189
01:07:35.080 --> 01:07:38.000
But I, I struggle just financially.

1190
01:07:38.960 --> 01:07:41.340
You know, he's, he's still in transition.

1191
01:07:41.340 --> 01:07:42.180
So am I.

1192
01:07:42.180 --> 01:07:43.280
We're kind of at the same place.

1193
01:07:43.280 --> 01:07:45.320
And I've always kind of had this idea in my mind,

1194
01:07:45.320 --> 01:07:47.400
like I just, I really want to be with a guy

1195
01:07:47.400 --> 01:07:50.040
that can provide, you know, financial peace.

1196
01:07:50.040 --> 01:07:51.440
Like, you know, I'm not a gold digger,

1197
01:07:51.440 --> 01:07:53.800
but I just, I just, in case I were to get pregnant,

1198
01:07:53.800 --> 01:07:55.280
I just want that mentally.

1199
01:07:56.020 --> 01:07:57.340
I want to know.

1200
01:07:57.340 --> 01:07:58.860
He is very smart.

1201
01:07:58.860 --> 01:08:01.900
He has had successful businesses in the past,

1202
01:08:01.900 --> 01:08:03.180
you know, gone through breakups.

1203
01:08:03.180 --> 01:08:06.100
He is, he's kind of showed me his vision,

1204
01:08:06.100 --> 01:08:07.900
what he wants to do, but I hesitate

1205
01:08:07.900 --> 01:08:10.180
because it's not there yet, you know?

1206
01:08:10.180 --> 01:08:11.900
And it's not, he's not moving ready.

1207
01:08:11.900 --> 01:08:13.940
You know, like in my mind, I had this expectation

1208
01:08:13.940 --> 01:08:15.020
that I was going to meet this guy.

1209
01:08:15.020 --> 01:08:16.060
He's going to be ready for a wife.

1210
01:08:16.060 --> 01:08:17.899
And it's just, you know, we're just going to go.

1211
01:08:17.899 --> 01:08:19.859
But now it's like, I'm put in a place of faith

1212
01:08:19.859 --> 01:08:21.779
of just like, do I, I really like this guy.

1213
01:08:21.779 --> 01:08:23.420
I don't want to say goodbye,

1214
01:08:23.420 --> 01:08:25.520
but it just doesn't feel like it's,

1215
01:08:25.520 --> 01:08:26.359
I don't know, I'm struggling.

1216
01:08:26.359 --> 01:08:29.200
Is he financially stable right now?

1217
01:08:29.200 --> 01:08:30.680
Yes, but he's not, like,

1218
01:08:30.680 --> 01:08:32.399
he's in the process of getting his own place.

1219
01:08:32.399 --> 01:08:33.800
He wants to build in the future.

1220
01:08:33.800 --> 01:08:36.319
He's had houses before.

1221
01:08:36.319 --> 01:08:37.800
You know, he has a great job right now.

1222
01:08:37.800 --> 01:08:38.920
He's busy all the time.

1223
01:08:38.920 --> 01:08:41.200
We only see each other like once a week.

1224
01:08:41.200 --> 01:08:43.720
Okay, so if he's got a job and he's got,

1225
01:08:43.720 --> 01:08:46.960
if he's got a job and he's financially stable,

1226
01:08:48.040 --> 01:08:49.600
why, what are you worried about?

1227
01:08:49.600 --> 01:08:51.760
Tell me what you're worried about.

1228
01:08:52.020 --> 01:08:54.620
I really would love him to already have a house.

1229
01:08:54.620 --> 01:08:56.700
You know, he's going to do the apartment thing

1230
01:08:56.700 --> 01:08:58.380
the next six months to a year.

1231
01:08:58.380 --> 01:08:59.880
He wants to build in the future.

1232
01:08:59.880 --> 01:09:01.020
We've talked about like, okay,

1233
01:09:01.020 --> 01:09:03.260
if you were to build a house, what would you want?

1234
01:09:03.260 --> 01:09:06.040
But he also kind of wants to do the camper van thing

1235
01:09:06.040 --> 01:09:06.979
and just travel.

1236
01:09:06.979 --> 01:09:08.899
And he has this spiritual update,

1237
01:09:08.899 --> 01:09:11.859
like t-shirt company, that nonprofit that he wants to do.

1238
01:09:11.859 --> 01:09:12.740
And I love his vision.

1239
01:09:12.740 --> 01:09:14.300
I love his heart, but I was like,

1240
01:09:14.300 --> 01:09:15.819
is this really going to pay the bills?

1241
01:09:15.819 --> 01:09:18.220
Or is this just something that he needs to invest

1242
01:09:18.220 --> 01:09:19.420
before he gets a wife?

1243
01:09:19.420 --> 01:09:21.040
Or am I supposed to help him?

1244
01:09:21.060 --> 01:09:23.040
But I'm just like, you know, I've already done

1245
01:09:23.040 --> 01:09:24.540
through the divorce.

1246
01:09:24.540 --> 01:09:25.600
How old are you?

1247
01:09:27.020 --> 01:09:27.859
How old are you?

1248
01:09:27.859 --> 01:09:28.700
I'm 42.

1249
01:09:29.700 --> 01:09:31.260
42.

1250
01:09:31.260 --> 01:09:32.979
Is he 40 as well?

1251
01:09:32.979 --> 01:09:34.540
40-ish?

1252
01:09:34.540 --> 01:09:35.380
He's 46.

1253
01:09:36.700 --> 01:09:37.540
Okay.

1254
01:09:37.540 --> 01:09:38.859
So it's like, we're not 30 anymore.

1255
01:09:38.859 --> 01:09:39.779
Like.

1256
01:09:39.779 --> 01:09:43.979
No, are you, are you guys dating exclusively right now?

1257
01:09:43.979 --> 01:09:44.819
Yes.

1258
01:09:44.819 --> 01:09:46.040
I'm not seeing anyone else,

1259
01:09:46.040 --> 01:09:48.100
but I've not said I'm his girlfriend yet.

1260
01:09:48.100 --> 01:09:49.460
Like he's not saying, you know,

1261
01:09:49.600 --> 01:09:51.600
he sees me as his girlfriend.

1262
01:09:51.600 --> 01:09:55.440
Has he had future kind of conversations with you?

1263
01:09:55.440 --> 01:09:56.280
Yes.

1264
01:09:56.280 --> 01:09:58.480
He's interested in pursuing a future.

1265
01:09:58.480 --> 01:09:59.320
Okay.

1266
01:09:59.320 --> 01:10:00.140
So.

1267
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:06.000
Here's the beauty, he hasn't built a house yet that you actually get to help design and

1268
01:10:06.000 --> 01:10:07.000
decorate.

1269
01:10:07.000 --> 01:10:13.120
Now, I don't know that I would want to get in a van and travel, and I know that's a thing

1270
01:10:13.120 --> 01:10:14.120
right now.

1271
01:10:14.120 --> 01:10:18.560
So I think that you can have, if you guys are kind of exclusive and he's talking about

1272
01:10:18.560 --> 01:10:24.160
a future, I think you can have a hard and honest conversation about it and just say,

1273
01:10:24.400 --> 01:10:28.720
Hey, you know, I just want to get a vision for what does financial stability look like

1274
01:10:28.720 --> 01:10:30.200
to you?

1275
01:10:30.200 --> 01:10:33.560
And how do you see that playing out in a relationship?

1276
01:10:33.560 --> 01:10:38.480
If you get married and have kids, like what role would you want the wife to have?

1277
01:10:38.480 --> 01:10:41.400
What role do you think is yours to have?

1278
01:10:41.400 --> 01:10:49.520
And you know, what if, you know, it was us and I wasn't comfortable living in an RV for

1279
01:10:49.520 --> 01:10:50.520
six months.

1280
01:10:50.520 --> 01:10:52.320
How does that sound to you?

1281
01:10:52.320 --> 01:10:55.480
So it sounds like you just need to have a conversation with him.

1282
01:10:55.480 --> 01:11:02.080
I think that it's not like he doesn't have a job and it doesn't sound, I mean, I think

1283
01:11:02.080 --> 01:11:03.080
it's okay that he's renting.

1284
01:11:03.080 --> 01:11:07.560
I mean, Brian was renting when I met him and actually we're living in my place right now,

1285
01:11:07.560 --> 01:11:10.680
but he actually came into the marriage with a whole lot more money than I did.

1286
01:11:10.680 --> 01:11:13.000
So he was technically more financially stable.

1287
01:11:13.000 --> 01:11:17.760
So him not owning a home, I mean, yes, I mean, it would have been nice if he had like this

1288
01:11:17.760 --> 01:11:21.000
little mansion over out in the mountains, like that would have been lovely.

1289
01:11:21.680 --> 01:11:29.720
But if you have a really good man who is sounding financially stable and smart and savvy, all

1290
01:11:29.720 --> 01:11:35.680
you need to do is put on the table what your fears and concerns are and asking what his

1291
01:11:35.680 --> 01:11:40.680
future in that look like to see if he can start to calm your fears.

1292
01:11:40.680 --> 01:11:41.680
Yeah.

1293
01:11:41.680 --> 01:11:42.680
Yeah.

1294
01:11:42.680 --> 01:11:43.680
I wouldn't just cut in on him.

1295
01:11:43.680 --> 01:11:44.680
Okay.

1296
01:11:44.680 --> 01:11:45.680
Yeah.

1297
01:11:45.680 --> 01:11:48.280
I don't want to say goodbye because ultimately he straight up told me, he's like, I want

1298
01:11:48.280 --> 01:11:50.480
to be able to make sure that you don't have to work.

1299
01:11:50.480 --> 01:11:54.640
I feel like it's my job as a man to, you know, provide food off like food on the table

1300
01:11:54.640 --> 01:11:55.800
and a roof over her head.

1301
01:11:55.800 --> 01:11:59.600
But I also want to maybe, so maybe you just need to trust him.

1302
01:11:59.600 --> 01:12:00.600
Yeah.

1303
01:12:00.600 --> 01:12:01.600
And that's where I'm struggling.

1304
01:12:01.600 --> 01:12:02.600
I do.

1305
01:12:02.600 --> 01:12:06.240
And I, you know, cause I lost everything in my divorce because I trusted my ex so much.

1306
01:12:06.240 --> 01:12:12.080
We have this, you know, and I, and we've talked about that, but it's, am I discerning something?

1307
01:12:12.080 --> 01:12:15.160
Cause I also, if it feels familiar, my little flags go up and I'm like, cause I don't want

1308
01:12:15.160 --> 01:12:19.280
to go down that path again, but I also want to project fear onto this really good guy.

1309
01:12:19.800 --> 01:12:25.360
You know, do you have other, this is where having a community of people that is speaking

1310
01:12:25.360 --> 01:12:26.360
into your life.

1311
01:12:26.360 --> 01:12:31.960
And so if you have other godly couples around you that are hanging out with you, they will

1312
01:12:31.960 --> 01:12:35.680
help sniff out if this guy's stable or not.

1313
01:12:35.680 --> 01:12:40.440
So we don't yet, we don't yet, but my two best friends really liked him for me and they

1314
01:12:40.440 --> 01:12:41.440
were surprised.

1315
01:12:41.440 --> 01:12:42.920
They're like, he's great.

1316
01:12:42.920 --> 01:12:44.200
He's so different than your ex.

1317
01:12:44.200 --> 01:12:45.200
Like he suits you.

1318
01:12:45.200 --> 01:12:48.600
We like him, you know, but we haven't gotten to go to church together.

1319
01:12:48.600 --> 01:12:50.040
Like really being community yet.

1320
01:12:50.040 --> 01:12:51.040
Okay.

1321
01:12:51.040 --> 01:12:56.080
So that's the, so that's the area you want to start to build now is get yourself in front

1322
01:12:56.080 --> 01:13:01.360
of a godly community and like have the Lord lean in and just go like, all right, we're

1323
01:13:01.360 --> 01:13:02.360
some godly couples.

1324
01:13:02.360 --> 01:13:05.840
And if you can't find one, you go and ask the pastor or you go and ask somebody at the

1325
01:13:05.840 --> 01:13:09.880
church like, Hey, I'm dating somebody, but I've done it wrong before.

1326
01:13:09.880 --> 01:13:14.480
And are there any couples in the church that would love to mentor me and or mentor me in

1327
01:13:14.480 --> 01:13:17.120
the person that I'm dating?

1328
01:13:17.120 --> 01:13:22.480
Start in a small group together because this is where your people who are watching out

1329
01:13:22.480 --> 01:13:27.920
for you that are already in a healthy marriage can, they'll have wisdom and discernment that

1330
01:13:27.920 --> 01:13:33.120
are that'll, that will help you go, okay, is this my trigger and it's just my stuff

1331
01:13:33.120 --> 01:13:37.600
I got to work through or is it a real concern?

1332
01:13:37.600 --> 01:13:41.840
And they'll help you with that so you don't have to go it alone.

1333
01:13:41.840 --> 01:13:45.720
So I would say don't cut and run.

1334
01:13:45.720 --> 01:13:51.560
If his actions are lining up with his words and he's being consistent, then have the people

1335
01:13:51.560 --> 01:13:59.800
around you confirm that he looks consistent and keep taking, you know, Bethany would say

1336
01:13:59.800 --> 01:14:05.220
this all the time too, when this stuff comes up, this is a really good opportunity for

1337
01:14:05.220 --> 01:14:10.320
you to take it to the Lord going, okay, because remember Jackie always says hurt in relationship,

1338
01:14:10.320 --> 01:14:11.520
healed in relationship.

1339
01:14:11.520 --> 01:14:19.960
So if your husband helped hurt your finances in the marriage, then God might be putting

1340
01:14:19.960 --> 01:14:25.280
you through a sifting here with him for him to heal you in this.

1341
01:14:25.280 --> 01:14:29.840
Now I'm not saying that he's your guy or not your guy, so, but I do think this is a really

1342
01:14:29.840 --> 01:14:33.760
good opportunity for you to lean in instead of jumping out.

1343
01:14:33.760 --> 01:14:38.840
Like you're not marrying him tomorrow, it's been a couple months, so let healthy people

1344
01:14:38.840 --> 01:14:45.880
get in your presence and start to make sure that his behavior matches his words and start

1345
01:14:45.880 --> 01:14:52.120
to see if your peace grows or your anxiety grows.

1346
01:14:52.120 --> 01:14:54.200
So keep going, keep going.

1347
01:14:54.200 --> 01:14:55.360
It's a yes until it's a no.

1348
01:14:55.360 --> 01:14:56.360
Keep going.

1349
01:14:56.360 --> 01:14:57.360
You got this.

1350
01:14:57.360 --> 01:14:58.360
Don't walk away.

1351
01:14:58.360 --> 01:15:00.040
I think you're going to learn something if you lean

1352
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:04.320
in a little bit. You bet. You bet. Okay, Fran, you're up.

1353
01:15:12.080 --> 01:15:12.960
Where'd you go, Fran?

1354
01:15:14.640 --> 01:15:15.920
Hello, can you hear me?

1355
01:15:15.920 --> 01:15:16.720
I can hear you.

1356
01:15:17.680 --> 01:15:18.320
Okay, hi.

1357
01:15:18.800 --> 01:15:19.120
Hi.

1358
01:15:20.160 --> 01:15:28.800
I have a question. So I think one of my biggest challenges since I've been in the program is

1359
01:15:30.320 --> 01:15:36.240
just maybe being more curious. I don't know if it's actually, because sometimes like people

1360
01:15:36.240 --> 01:15:43.200
confirm when I say, when I see things that appear to me as red flags, but this is something that

1361
01:15:43.200 --> 01:15:49.200
I'm challenging myself with. So I want to run something by you and get your opinion.

1362
01:15:50.960 --> 01:15:56.800
So I met a guy a couple of months ago at a Christian singles event.

1363
01:15:57.040 --> 01:16:01.920
And basically I was talking with a group of girls, not a group, a couple of girls. So we

1364
01:16:01.920 --> 01:16:07.760
were the three of us talking and he came in. It was at the beginning of the event and we just

1365
01:16:07.760 --> 01:16:14.400
chatted waiting for the event to start. And he mentioned that it was his first time coming to

1366
01:16:14.400 --> 01:16:18.880
that type of event. So I let him know that there are other events like this that are happening.

1367
01:16:19.840 --> 01:16:24.800
And that if he wants, I can give him, you know, the information. If he wants you to know more,

1368
01:16:25.360 --> 01:16:31.920
if he wants you to know more and get connected. So then, you know, the event started, we went

1369
01:16:31.920 --> 01:16:35.760
our ways. There were a couple of activities, mingling activities and stuff like that. And so

1370
01:16:35.760 --> 01:16:42.960
at one point during the event, people were asked to partner up. There were actually several

1371
01:16:42.960 --> 01:16:49.040
activities where, you know, guys and girls were to pair for activities. And for this one, we were

1372
01:16:49.040 --> 01:16:55.360
wandering around the room to find a partner. And most people had found, you know, someone. And we

1373
01:16:55.360 --> 01:17:02.240
were one of the, him and I were one of the few people that hadn't had find anyone. So we paired

1374
01:17:02.240 --> 01:17:07.520
together. We didn't get to do the activity together because it ran too long and we were at

1375
01:17:07.520 --> 01:17:16.560
the back of the line. So that was that. And then the evening continued. And at the end, you know,

1376
01:17:16.560 --> 01:17:24.560
as, you know, we were just starting to just head out, everyone, I saw him, he was in the crowd,

1377
01:17:24.560 --> 01:17:28.800
wandering around and just kind of like, you know how it is when you don't know people, it's a bit

1378
01:17:28.800 --> 01:17:33.840
awkward. And I saw him, he was by himself. So I was like, oh, I'm going to talk to him and say bye

1379
01:17:33.840 --> 01:17:42.400
and maybe give him the contacts that I had, you know, shared earlier. So I went to him.

1380
01:17:43.360 --> 01:17:47.520
And if I like a guy, to be honest, I don't go to a guy like that. It's because I was like,

1381
01:17:47.520 --> 01:17:52.720
it felt very friendly and platonic. So that's why I was really carefree about going to him and be

1382
01:17:52.720 --> 01:17:58.880
like, hey, how did the event go? I told you that I was going to give you, you know, this information.

1383
01:17:58.880 --> 01:18:04.320
So if you, if you want, I can give, I can give that to you now. And I was like, no, I want your

1384
01:18:04.320 --> 01:18:09.040
number. And I live in Canada. I don't know if Americans are the same way, but Canadians are

1385
01:18:09.600 --> 01:18:16.960
not very straightforward. So I was kind of like, oh, and I didn't know what to say,

1386
01:18:17.680 --> 01:18:23.200
but I wasn't prepared. Like I was already in the program. And so I was like, I'm,

1387
01:18:23.200 --> 01:18:28.560
I was in the mindset of being more open. But in that instance, I was like, and he also looks very

1388
01:18:28.560 --> 01:18:34.400
young. So I was like, he must be in his late twenties. I'm in my mid thirties. So in my head,

1389
01:18:34.400 --> 01:18:39.520
he was also very young. So I was like, but from his point of view, you were being friendly.

1390
01:18:39.520 --> 01:18:42.640
So he could have thought you were being a little flirty with him.

1391
01:18:42.640 --> 01:18:46.240
So I kind of think it was great that he asked for your number, but what's your question?

1392
01:18:47.360 --> 01:18:54.960
So, sorry. It's so I said, no, but do you want my Instagram? I can give you my Instagram.

1393
01:18:55.760 --> 01:19:01.600
And it was like, no, but can I get your email? And I gave him a fake email just

1394
01:19:01.600 --> 01:19:06.320
because my email is my first and last name. So it's my full legal name. So if you want to

1395
01:19:06.320 --> 01:19:13.120
dig things about me, you can with my email. So I gave him my fake email under my IGN because

1396
01:19:13.120 --> 01:19:18.880
that's why I was, you know, ready to, to share with him. And I didn't feel like saying no all

1397
01:19:18.880 --> 01:19:24.720
the time. Like it was, he was a bit like very assertive and I didn't want to be mean. Okay.

1398
01:19:24.720 --> 01:19:33.520
Well, fast forward a week later, I saw him in, you know, how Instagram shows the people

1399
01:19:33.520 --> 01:19:38.960
in your circle, he appeared, whereas I never had him in my circle before. So I feel like maybe he

1400
01:19:38.960 --> 01:19:44.640
has, he had looked up, you know, my name and found me. And that's how I saw that. But he didn't make

1401
01:19:44.640 --> 01:19:50.400
a friend request. Fast forward a couple of weeks later, I saw him on a dating, a Christian dating

1402
01:19:50.400 --> 01:19:56.160
app. Okay. And then because I felt bad, I was like, Oh, ha ha ha. You're on the dating app.

1403
01:19:56.160 --> 01:19:59.840
You didn't add me on Instagram. So it was just like, because I

1404
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:05.600
bad of giving him a fake email and then he replied the same day to be like oh I'm new

1405
01:20:05.600 --> 01:20:10.000
to this dating thing and I was like oh you're gonna see it's gonna be it's gonna be an interesting

1406
01:20:10.000 --> 01:20:15.360
ride and whatnot and then he told me do you know about this event that's happening you know in a

1407
01:20:15.360 --> 01:20:22.000
few days um and the event was by the organizers that I gave him the information I talked to him

1408
01:20:22.000 --> 01:20:27.920
about and it was like are you are you coming and I was like oh maybe because I wasn't interested

1409
01:20:27.920 --> 01:20:32.240
so I didn't want to send messages that you know I was looking forward to seeing him or whatnot so

1410
01:20:32.240 --> 01:20:37.200
I was like oh maybe I'm gonna go I was actually already planning to go but I didn't want to tell

1411
01:20:37.200 --> 01:20:43.200
him and so when I arrived at the event we arrived at the same time and he looked really good I saw

1412
01:20:43.200 --> 01:20:47.760
him in a new light and also because I had seen his profile he's actually older than me but he

1413
01:20:47.760 --> 01:20:52.800
looks really young um so I was looking for it and I was like oh we might have a chance to go through

1414
01:20:52.800 --> 01:20:56.960
the speed dating round so we'll have a chance to connect I was really looking forward to that

1415
01:20:56.960 --> 01:21:03.120
we didn't get a chance to connect at the at the event he left before um before I had a chance to

1416
01:21:03.120 --> 01:21:08.480
connect with him so afterwards I went on Instagram and was like oh did you like the event the event

1417
01:21:08.480 --> 01:21:13.280
was really good and he was like yes I like the event and then I replied I was like yeah um you

1418
01:21:13.280 --> 01:21:19.040
know it would be great for you and I to connect you know and get to know each other more and then

1419
01:21:19.040 --> 01:21:24.480
he never replied for a month and then a couple of days ago he messaged me and he's like well I'm

1420
01:21:24.480 --> 01:21:31.440
going to this event do you want to come so what should I like for me I thought that it was very

1421
01:21:31.440 --> 01:21:37.040
disrespectful to not have answered my message before even if you were not interested and then

1422
01:21:37.040 --> 01:21:42.480
a month later come back as if nothing had happened and be like oh there's this uh event coming up do

1423
01:21:42.480 --> 01:21:49.200
you want to come I think it I think it may have been in his defense he did ask for your number

1424
01:21:49.200 --> 01:21:56.720
right away you said no you gave him a fake email so you kind of pushed him off at first you know so

1425
01:21:56.720 --> 01:22:05.520
who knows he might have already been like missed that like you didn't want to say yes to a date

1426
01:22:05.520 --> 01:22:10.320
when he originally asked you do you know what I'm saying like and so he could have just been like oh

1427
01:22:10.320 --> 01:22:15.760
now you're coming around like we don't know right like now you're coming around so do I like that

1428
01:22:15.760 --> 01:22:23.680
he didn't respond to you no I don't like that so I I don't think you should be but you also have

1429
01:22:23.680 --> 01:22:30.000
kind of played this role where you're like helping him along too like you because I love helping

1430
01:22:30.000 --> 01:22:35.600
people I know I know but it doesn't mean anything it's just what I understand this is but you're

1431
01:22:35.600 --> 01:22:41.280
you're asking my opinion so I'm trying to give you my opinion yes so my opinion is I think it's one

1432
01:22:41.280 --> 01:22:49.760
thing to be friendly and ask but in my opinion you gave him a you gave him more attention than I

1433
01:22:49.760 --> 01:22:55.840
would for an opposite sex person that I'm not interested in like so you saw him that night and

1434
01:22:55.840 --> 01:22:59.760
you gave him the contact information great you didn't want to give him your phone number because

1435
01:22:59.760 --> 01:23:04.800
you didn't want to go on a date with him okay but then when you guys got matched up on the dating

1436
01:23:04.800 --> 01:23:10.320
app I wouldn't have reached out to him and I wouldn't have given that information so I feel like

1437
01:23:11.600 --> 01:23:17.280
it could be confusing you're you're like I'm trying to give this information out and be helpful

1438
01:23:18.080 --> 01:23:22.240
and he's like does she like me does she not like me does she like me does she not like me and so

1439
01:23:23.440 --> 01:23:31.600
I think that if you don't like that he did not respond to you I think it's okay for you to say

1440
01:23:32.160 --> 01:23:37.200
you know what like I feel like this has gotten really confusing you know you could even like

1441
01:23:37.920 --> 01:23:41.680
you have nothing to lose with this guy right so you could be like hey you know what I think

1442
01:23:43.040 --> 01:23:47.600
how this has all gone by is a little bit confusing if you want to ask me out on a date

1443
01:23:47.600 --> 01:23:53.040
you know how to reach out to me otherwise I guess we'll just run into each other you know

1444
01:23:53.040 --> 01:23:58.400
at future events but I don't think it's appropriate for us to go together to dating events like this

1445
01:24:00.320 --> 01:24:06.320
so I would just play your card play your hand directly and see how he lands with it do you

1446
01:24:06.320 --> 01:24:11.200
know what I'm saying but I'm just saying you've been it sounds like you've been so friendly in it

1447
01:24:11.200 --> 01:24:14.960
like you know how sometimes we as women are like gosh did he like me or do you not like does he

1448
01:24:14.960 --> 01:24:20.640
like me like if some guy had given me as much attention as you did to him I might have thought

1449
01:24:20.640 --> 01:24:26.240
you liked me and so and you're like I'm just trying to help this guy get into the program

1450
01:24:26.240 --> 01:24:32.240
right and I totally get that so I'm just saying this is a good example of was he just being

1451
01:24:32.240 --> 01:24:37.600
friendly was he not just being friendly and so we all do this like we all are friendly sometimes

1452
01:24:37.600 --> 01:24:41.760
and so it can be confusing so I think it's okay for you to say I don't I don't want you to be

1453
01:24:41.760 --> 01:24:47.680
pissy about it but I think it's okay for you to say like hey I may have given you mixed signals

1454
01:24:48.480 --> 01:24:54.400
so let me be clear would I be interesting have a one-on-one conversation with you to get to know

1455
01:24:54.400 --> 01:24:59.840
you better for sure do I want to go to a meetup event with

1456
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:04.800
you while we're both like looking for other people? Probably not. If I run into you, I'll

1457
01:25:04.800 --> 01:25:11.680
of course be kind, but I don't think we need to go together. How would something like that,

1458
01:25:11.680 --> 01:25:17.680
because now you're like putting it out there. I like that. It's just like clear messaging.

1459
01:25:17.680 --> 01:25:23.600
But the event this time is not a Christian singles event. It's caribana. So it's a cruise

1460
01:25:23.600 --> 01:25:28.400
party or something like that on a boat. So it's a very different vibe. It's not the same.

1461
01:25:28.400 --> 01:25:34.720
And so he's probably going, Oh, you could be my wing woman for this. Exactly. So you don't

1462
01:25:34.720 --> 01:25:38.400
want to be the wing woman. I mean, and that's why you need to be honest. You don't want to

1463
01:25:38.400 --> 01:25:43.440
be his wing woman anymore. You might've given him the oppression accidentally that you could

1464
01:25:43.440 --> 01:25:48.640
have been the wing woman, but you don't want to be the wing woman. So, you know, I don't think,

1465
01:25:48.640 --> 01:25:52.160
you know, I don't think I, you know, and so you can be funny about it. Like, Hey,

1466
01:25:53.040 --> 01:25:56.240
you know, would I be up to, you know, hanging out and getting to know you a bit better? Sure.

1467
01:25:56.240 --> 01:26:00.640
Do I want to be your wing woman at a dating event? No, but thank you for asking.

1468
01:26:03.280 --> 01:26:08.640
And then this way you're clear, whatever. I may have confused you be clear,

1469
01:26:09.440 --> 01:26:15.840
say, but say no. And you can even be funny, but like, no, you know, no. So I think it's okay.

1470
01:26:18.400 --> 01:26:22.000
You're beautiful though. I feel like I don't know you that well, Fran, I need to get to know you

1471
01:26:22.000 --> 01:26:27.600
better. Like, I wanted to say congratulations on your wedding because the first time I saw you was

1472
01:26:27.600 --> 01:26:32.880
one of the videos and you were still single on the video. And then I saw you, I think a month

1473
01:26:32.880 --> 01:26:37.280
ago and I saw the name change. And then you said my husband, I was like, yeah, she got married.

1474
01:26:39.840 --> 01:26:46.480
I am proof to all of you that it could happen and it just may take longer than you wanted it to.

1475
01:26:46.480 --> 01:26:52.480
Hopefully y'all will not wait as long as I had to wait. But I will say y'all,

1476
01:26:54.080 --> 01:27:00.720
it's been like, how long have we been married? Seven, eight, nine, we've been married 10 months.

1477
01:27:00.720 --> 01:27:06.320
It's been good. You guys, it's been good. We really, we're really compatible. Do the program,

1478
01:27:06.320 --> 01:27:11.360
be patient. Don't just marry some schlep who kind of like is halfway what you want him to be.

1479
01:27:11.360 --> 01:27:16.480
Make sure he's the real deal. Make sure he has done his recovery work. He's done his heart work

1480
01:27:16.480 --> 01:27:21.520
and he's open to keep working on his stuff. Fran, you are beautiful. You're going to find your guy,

1481
01:27:21.520 --> 01:27:30.640
be clear, be direct, be flirty. Don't be offended. Okay. And use that beautiful smile that

1482
01:27:30.640 --> 01:27:35.440
you got there. Okay, Megan, I saw that you had something. I can't see bupkis tonight. So you're

1483
01:27:35.440 --> 01:27:38.240
going to have to tell me, Megan, what it is that you wrote in there.

1484
01:27:43.040 --> 01:27:46.000
Yeah, sorry. I was fixing the laundry because it was going to make a lot of noise.

1485
01:27:48.000 --> 01:27:55.680
Yeah, no worries. I was just sharing that I, well, I just moved to DFW and I just turned 40

1486
01:27:55.680 --> 01:28:00.240
and it's been great so far. I feel like I've already matched with more guys that I'm like

1487
01:28:00.240 --> 01:28:04.880
attracted to. And, and I've gone to a lot of like Christian events where there's more guys. So I'm

1488
01:28:04.880 --> 01:28:10.480
just, I feel like it's been confirmation that it's been a good move. But I did match with a guy

1489
01:28:10.480 --> 01:28:18.640
recently on Upword. And we, he asked to FaceTime last Sunday. And I actually wasn't sure about it

1490
01:28:18.640 --> 01:28:25.120
because some of his, like some of his texts at first, but like, I didn't know how sociable he

1491
01:28:25.120 --> 01:28:31.360
would be based on his texts. They felt very deep upfront, initially. And like, but I was like,

1492
01:28:31.360 --> 01:28:37.280
maybe he's just a really deep guy. And he didn't text a ton. But anyway, he asked me to FaceTime.

1493
01:28:37.920 --> 01:28:43.280
And it went really well. And I was really attracted to him. He's actually more like his,

1494
01:28:43.280 --> 01:28:50.400
in person, he's way better looking than his pics presented him. And so he's 39. He's really mature.

1495
01:28:51.360 --> 01:28:58.480
He seems really interested in me. He, he asked me on a date this Sunday, which I'm excited about.

1496
01:28:59.120 --> 01:29:05.520
Yes. It's funny, though, because he's really a big planner. And he did, even for the FaceTime,

1497
01:29:05.520 --> 01:29:10.400
he had asked me like, for this coming Friday, like a week and a half ago. And I was like,

1498
01:29:10.400 --> 01:29:15.600
well, I'm available sooner than that if you are. So he opened his schedule for this weekend.

1499
01:29:15.600 --> 01:29:19.440
And then when he asked me on the date, he was like, he had said next, like,

1500
01:29:20.080 --> 01:29:24.240
third Wednesday or Thursday, do I have available? And I'm like, do you have availability this

1501
01:29:24.240 --> 01:29:29.360
weekend? Because I'm like, he kind of plans too far in advance. Which I know that he's

1502
01:29:29.360 --> 01:29:34.720
probably not trying to look too eager. Maybe. Yeah, like that guy that's like, hey,

1503
01:29:34.720 --> 01:29:39.440
I'm gonna assume you have a busy life and that you've not just waiting for me to ask you out.

1504
01:29:39.440 --> 01:29:45.120
So it could be but it's like the FaceTime went so well. And I'm like, that's a long time between

1505
01:29:45.120 --> 01:29:50.880
then and anyway, he's he seems I was afraid at first that he would be too rigid, but he's still

1506
01:29:50.880 --> 01:29:56.720
flexible. I think he's just like, he mentions that his life is full and he so he has gone through a

1507
01:29:56.720 --> 01:29:59.920
lot like he was. He is sober.

1508
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:05.600
now. He's been sober for nine years, but he's gone through recovery and he has been divorced,

1509
01:30:05.600 --> 01:30:10.720
but it's been a few years. He recently got baptized actually this past weekend. Like he

1510
01:30:10.720 --> 01:30:15.600
has kind of recommitted his life to God and he's really passionate about the Lord and mentors

1511
01:30:15.600 --> 01:30:21.360
guys. And so he said he knows in a relationship he may not have the capacity to do all as much

1512
01:30:21.360 --> 01:30:25.440
as he does now. And so I know like he's expressed, he would make time for that.

1513
01:30:26.320 --> 01:30:32.960
So I do feel like I'm learning how to navigate that with his past and like what he can handle.

1514
01:30:34.080 --> 01:30:37.200
Here's what might caution you. I'm going to correct you on something.

1515
01:30:37.760 --> 01:30:40.320
Yeah. People that do regular recovery,

1516
01:30:40.320 --> 01:30:44.400
like 12-step meetings. Is that what it's called? 12-step meetings?

1517
01:30:44.400 --> 01:30:50.720
Well, usually if you're an alcoholic and you're going to meetings, you're probably going to some

1518
01:30:50.720 --> 01:30:53.520
kind of 12-step meeting, which is great. Oh, 12-step. Oh, yes.

1519
01:30:53.760 --> 01:30:59.360
12-step meeting. But what I want to say about that is when you are with somebody who is actively

1520
01:30:59.360 --> 01:31:06.000
still doing 12-step type meetings, because I used to go to 12-step meetings for being codependent,

1521
01:31:06.000 --> 01:31:14.080
right? Or like Al-Anon. These settings, people get very deep, very fast. And so you just want

1522
01:31:14.080 --> 01:31:20.320
to make sure. So if that's his world and he's used to being around people and he's mentoring

1523
01:31:20.320 --> 01:31:26.560
people where people are being super raw, you're going to have to work really hard in these first

1524
01:31:26.560 --> 01:31:28.080
dates. Yeah.

1525
01:31:28.080 --> 01:31:31.840
Things light and level-headed and not go too deep.

1526
01:31:31.840 --> 01:31:36.320
Yes. I think so. And I realized maybe some of those texts at first, I was like, I showed my

1527
01:31:36.320 --> 01:31:41.280
friends and they thought it was funny at first. And then we both were like, oh, that's, or we all

1528
01:31:41.280 --> 01:31:44.960
were like, that's why he's just really, he's been through a lot. He's deep and introspective and it

1529
01:31:44.960 --> 01:31:50.320
makes sense that he's in a part of those groups. I do feel like, so he did send me a text yesterday

1530
01:31:50.320 --> 01:31:54.880
or two days ago. I can't remember, but you know, we had texted some really, we haven't been texting

1531
01:31:54.880 --> 01:32:00.240
a ton. He doesn't text a ton. And then we talked a lot. Yeah. Which is, I know you probably approved

1532
01:32:00.240 --> 01:32:08.560
that, but he did say, he said, I'd like to, you know, be really slow with our texts until we get

1533
01:32:08.560 --> 01:32:13.440
to know each other, which I was like, I kind of caught me off guard. And I'm like, I, and so I

1534
01:32:13.440 --> 01:32:18.800
said, okay, I respect that. And I was like, I feel like we're going slow already. So it's,

1535
01:32:18.800 --> 01:32:23.040
this is really good though. Cause you have to remember people coming out of an addiction,

1536
01:32:23.040 --> 01:32:30.320
they have addictive personalities. He's trying to pace himself, have the video date,

1537
01:32:30.320 --> 01:32:34.880
then a week later a date and slowing down the texting. I'm not saying you want to be at that

1538
01:32:34.880 --> 01:32:41.520
pace forever, but for somebody who has that past, that's actually showing restraint. That's what,

1539
01:32:41.520 --> 01:32:45.200
yeah, it does seem like good and healthy and mature. I feel like, and he's good.

1540
01:32:46.080 --> 01:32:52.800
Cause he's like, if I don't, I know me. Yeah. I'm going to go. Right. Right. Trying to be

1541
01:32:52.800 --> 01:32:59.520
level-headed. So as long as he is consistently pursuing you, you just keep enjoying it and

1542
01:32:59.520 --> 01:33:04.880
moving it forward. So here's what I am going to recommend the next time. If he asks you out on a

1543
01:33:04.880 --> 01:33:10.640
date for like, when's your date? It's on now it's on Sunday. We moved it up to Sunday. Cause I was

1544
01:33:11.440 --> 01:33:16.000
Sunday. So here's what I'm going to ask you to do. Okay. You moved up a couple things.

1545
01:33:16.560 --> 01:33:20.720
If he has a great day with you on Sunday and he doesn't invite you for another date till the

1546
01:33:20.720 --> 01:33:25.840
following Saturday. Yeah. You're going to take that. You're not going to make him move up a

1547
01:33:25.840 --> 01:33:32.160
date again. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. No, that's good. Yeah. If he's setting the pace, you want to try

1548
01:33:32.160 --> 01:33:36.880
to let him to continue to set the pace. Yeah, that's good. And I would hope it would be the

1549
01:33:36.880 --> 01:33:42.560
week. I feel like it was really for me. I'm also feel like I'm holding back some, even with

1550
01:33:42.560 --> 01:33:47.760
texting. Cause I'm like, I'm respecting that he doesn't want to do much, but even the fact that

1551
01:33:47.760 --> 01:33:51.840
the, I feel like there was mutual attraction and connection on the FaceTime. Like I want to talk

1552
01:33:51.840 --> 01:33:58.240
to him more. And also I can't wait to see him. Like I'm excited. So to wait 10 days, like feels

1553
01:33:58.240 --> 01:34:05.520
like it's going to make your, it might make your anxious. I don't know if you have anxious

1554
01:34:05.520 --> 01:34:11.440
attachment, but it might make your anxious attachment come out. Yeah. And I'm going to

1555
01:34:11.440 --> 01:34:18.880
encourage you to just lean in. Yeah. Let him lead if he's being consistent. Yeah. You want that

1556
01:34:18.880 --> 01:34:23.840
because we all know what happens when a guy like love bombs, all that time and attention. Yeah.

1557
01:34:23.840 --> 01:34:28.480
Right. Right. I feel like he's been consistent. And I, and I thought about that lately where I'm

1558
01:34:28.480 --> 01:34:32.720
like, normally I feel like I would get kind of worried that I'm not, you know, getting more

1559
01:34:32.720 --> 01:34:36.640
texts from him. Cause that happens sometimes where a guy's texting consistently, but nothing's

1560
01:34:36.640 --> 01:34:42.080
happening. There's no plans being met. He's making plans. And I like that. And he actually wants to

1561
01:34:42.080 --> 01:34:47.520
be in person and he's pursuing me. I think I just realized like, no, I had to listen to what he's

1562
01:34:47.520 --> 01:34:53.600
saying to me and like, believe that he's being really clear and direct with me. I appreciate

1563
01:34:53.600 --> 01:34:59.760
that actually. So it's really good. I'm excited. I'm excited for you. I want to see a post on Monday.

1564
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:01.000
I will.

1565
01:35:01.000 --> 01:35:08.200
I'm glad you brought that up, Melissa, I mean, Megan, because it's really, and so for everybody

1566
01:35:08.200 --> 01:35:10.200
else that's hearing this, this is really good.

1567
01:35:10.200 --> 01:35:15.280
When a guy's putting on some pace and let's let him keep the pace and going, he might

1568
01:35:15.280 --> 01:35:17.560
be trying to break some patterns too.

1569
01:35:17.560 --> 01:35:19.000
Yeah, I think so.

1570
01:35:19.000 --> 01:35:22.760
And even he had mentioned it's different for him with Christian dating right now, like

1571
01:35:22.760 --> 01:35:28.200
just because he talked about being slow, like with purity and all that, which I agree, but

1572
01:35:28.200 --> 01:35:32.760
I also feel like I don't, this in a way, like sometimes Christian dating can speed

1573
01:35:32.760 --> 01:35:36.600
things up at the same time, like with, you know, progression because it's like you're

1574
01:35:36.600 --> 01:35:43.840
having to look for consistency and it's, it's going to grow, like grow.

1575
01:35:43.840 --> 01:35:47.380
So he's going to want to start to see you more share marks.

1576
01:35:47.380 --> 01:35:49.480
So we're excited for you guys.

1577
01:35:49.480 --> 01:35:50.480
Thanks.

1578
01:35:50.480 --> 01:35:51.480
All right.

1579
01:35:51.480 --> 01:35:52.640
It's the bottom of the hour y'all.

1580
01:35:52.640 --> 01:35:55.480
I'm gonna, and she was the last one with a raised hand.

1581
01:35:55.480 --> 01:35:56.880
So I'm going to close this out.

1582
01:35:56.880 --> 01:35:58.600
Father God, we just thank you so much.

1583
01:35:58.600 --> 01:36:01.360
I thank you for all the ladies that were flexible tonight.

1584
01:36:01.360 --> 01:36:05.440
I know sometimes it can be disappointing when you think it's Jackie and you get me and whatever

1585
01:36:05.440 --> 01:36:09.440
and like, but I'm just grateful y'all came on that you stayed.

1586
01:36:09.440 --> 01:36:12.460
And if you're watching this in replay, I hope you heard some fun things.

1587
01:36:12.460 --> 01:36:14.400
You got to know something about your sisters.

1588
01:36:14.400 --> 01:36:16.960
Remember we believe in community matchmaking.

1589
01:36:16.960 --> 01:36:20.840
So the whole goal is to continue to get to know one another, because if you have a date

1590
01:36:20.840 --> 01:36:25.760
with a guy that doesn't woo you, but he seems like a really great guy, he might be the right

1591
01:36:25.760 --> 01:36:27.720
guy for somebody else in this community.

1592
01:36:27.720 --> 01:36:30.540
And you won't know that if you don't get to know the other people.

1593
01:36:30.540 --> 01:36:36.080
So Father God, we just ask that you be with each and every single person that if there's

1594
01:36:36.080 --> 01:36:41.480
something that is burning in their heart that they need an answer to quickly this week,

1595
01:36:41.480 --> 01:36:43.440
I ask that you start to give them that answer.

1596
01:36:43.440 --> 01:36:45.960
And I just love all of this up in the precious name of Jesus.

1597
01:36:45.960 --> 01:36:46.960
Amen.

1598
01:36:46.960 --> 01:36:49.240
All right, you guys go have a great night.