Good morning, everybody.
I am on the East Coast today visiting my in-laws.
My mother-in-law is having some really important cognitive testing, so please keep our family
in prayer.
If you're new to Supernatural Saturday, welcome.
We're so glad you're here.
This is the session of last year's single that happens every Saturday morning, depending
on where you live.
It could be at 10.
I'm liking this East Coast time.
It's a good time.
I like it better than the West Coast time of 7 o'clock in the morning for Supernatural
Saturday.
So 10, it could be 9 if you're in the central time zone.
It could be 8 if you're a mountain, and it could be 7 if you're on the West Coast.
That is not the best coast for Supernatural Saturday, unless you're an early morning riser,
and that's fine.
But this is the session that I love the most, and it is the time of the week where we look
to heaven to see, hey, what's God up to?
What is he doing?
What is he doing in that realm that's just right outside of our visual sight?
What does he have planned?
What are his purposes?
What does he want us to participate and partner with him on?
Boy, that was a lot of P words.
So this is what we do on Saturdays, so if you're new, welcome to Saturday, Supernatural
Saturday.
All right, friends, well, you know, we've been digging into a lot of different stuff
in our family.
There's been a lot of things that have come to the surface lately.
Anybody else been having some revealing for healings?
What is a revealing for healing?
Let me tell you what it is.
For those of you that are not in the heart work right now, you're not in phase one of
last year's single, where you are having a lot of revealings for healings, because that's
what that phase is all about.
Some of you graduated from phase one a long time ago, and so you haven't revisited your
heart work in a while.
But heart work is something that should keep on going.
It's the gift that keeps on giving.
And every once in a while, you will go through an era, a time, a season where it feels like
there's a lot of stuff hidden in your heart that's coming to the surface.
And I feel like we might be in one of those seasons.
Anybody else been experiencing that?
You just been experiencing some things where you're just like, man, maybe I'm not as emotionally
available as I thought I was.
Maybe I'm not as healed as I thought I was.
Maybe I'm more angry than I thought I was.
Maybe I'm more disappointed than maybe I even thought I was.
Anybody else?
Maybe I don't trust God as much as I think I do.
Anybody else having that kind of stuff going on?
All right.
I've seen a lot of that happening in myself and my family.
Obviously I'm the heart work chick.
I wrote the book.
So I should have done the most heart work of anyone.
But there's always more little residual things to do that come to the surface.
And I want to talk about that here for a few minutes.
Because for when you're single and you live by yourself, now, if you live with some housemates,
this might not be true because living in proximity to other people will force you to do your
heart work.
Am I right?
When you come home from a long day at work and your housemates have left dirty dishes
in the sink, if you're a clean freak and you come home and other people that are living
in the same space as you have dirty things up and they don't pick up after themselves
or they let their animals get on the sofa, even though you said no dogs on the couch,
whatever it is, when you live with other people, whether it's your family, whether it's housemates,
it doesn't matter what it is.
When you live with other people, maybe it's your grown children, you will do continuous
heart work because it will force you to because you are going to get triggered.
People are going to trigger you.
Those of you that work in an office with people day in and day out, you live in cubicle world,
you are going to be triggered by other people's moods, by their attitudes, by their decisions.
If you are mainly alone and you don't have a lot of proximity to people, then you may
have been hiding out from this deeper level of healing that we're talking about.
You may have, it keeps missing you because you're not around anything enough to really
fully realize, oh, I'm not as healed as I thought I was.
You know what's going to do it more than anything else?
Getting into a relationship, ladies with a man, gentlemen with a woman.
Those of you that are not in a relationship yet, I know a lot of you are, a lot of you
are dating someone right now, but those of you that are not, when you start dating someone,
and I don't just mean a date here and there, I mean dating someone, you are going to begin
to get triggered.
And I want to get us ready for that today on Supernatural Saturday, because I do believe
that we're in a season of time where God's like, hey, let's cause a few things to come
your way to go ahead and bring to the surface that stuff that's just right under the surface.
Why would God want to do that?
Because he wants it to be revealed so that it can be what?
So that it can be healed.
You're like, are you saying God's triggering me?
Yes, I am.
God is triggering you.
He is triggering you.
He is allowing things like, oh my gosh, I don't understand.
Why would, why would God have allowed that?
I prayed this morning when I got up.
Why did I get that flat tire?
I mean, is God even protecting me?
Yeah.
Well, that flat tire brought a lot to the surface, didn't it?
And did you die?
No, you didn't die.
You're still here.
You're still alive.
But it brought up a lot of feelings that you already have that were just there under the
surface.
What kind of feelings?
Feelings that you're not being protected.
Feelings that you're not being taken care of.
Feelings that you don't have any help in the world and that you're all alone in the world.
What happens when we start to have these types of feelings?
We start to get a lot more motivated to get in relationship, don't we?
Don't we?
If something happens that Little Miss Independent can't take care of anymore, gentlemen, let
the ladies ride this one out for a second.
If something happens that Little Miss Independent can't take care of, then Little Miss Independent
realizes that she's been saying that she wants a partner, but she hasn't really been acting
like she wants one.
Isn't that what happens?
Little Miss I-Can-Do-Bad-All-By-Myself hasn't been trusting any man to come closer because
a lot of you are on this little roller coaster ride.
Oh, I saw it in the comments.
I change my mind daily.
Some of you are on this roller coaster ride that it's like, yeah, I'm good.
Some days you're like, I'm good.
I don't need anyone.
I do not need the stress of that.
I do not need the drama of that.
I do not need the trauma of that.
Well, first of all, you're projecting onto your new relationship something that's happened
in the past, so let's stop doing that.
Second of all, you don't want to grow.
You don't want to be stretched.
I'm going to tell each and every one of you that your future relationship is not going
to run smoothly.
You know how I know?
You're too old.
You're like, well, what does age have to do with it?
You got a lot of moving parts.
That's what has to do with it.
Do you know why we used to have these beautiful limerence infatuation moments when we were
teenagers where we had these rose colored glasses on and we just couldn't stop thinking
about them?
You know, we call it puppy love.
Do you know why we used to have that?
Because most of us didn't have a lot of baggage back then.
Now me, I just want to tell you, I was born with a six piece set of matching baggage luggage.
Came into the world with lots of baggage already, but most people, even if your family's not
great, most people still believe in that type of true love, perfect love, all the feelings.
Of course, we have all the hormones coursing through our bodies too when we're young.
But you guys, the older we get, the more complications, can we call it that?
We add to the mix.
The more complications we add to the mix.
It can be as much as, oh, I got a bum knee.
I got a bum knee.
That's one of my complications.
I can no longer walk really, really far because my knee does not want to do that.
And what does that mean?
That means that I kind of have to scratch off the list a bunch of people who all they're
going to want to do with their marriage partner is walk and do fitness and climb mountains.
God forbid.
Okay.
I don't understand why anybody wants to climb a mountain.
God bless these folks.
Some of you may be these folks, but the dating pool gets smaller when you have a bum knee,
right?
Unless you're willing to go get it fixed.
A lot of people are like, yeah, I might look into that if I ever need to look into that.
Some all you, some of you ladies had some babies that were big babies and now your bladder
is hanging down by your knees.
Got to pull that bladder back.
up. It needs some meshing. It needs a support system. You need a little safety net for your
bladder now, okay? Because if you laugh, you pee. If you sneeze, you pee. It's a problem
for sure. And you say to yourself, oh, I might get that pelvic floor thing fixed if I ever
need to. So here are some physical things that might make the dating pool smaller. But
what about the mental and emotional things that might make that dating pool smaller?
We're like, yeah, I might lose that 15 pounds if it's going to improve my options out there
in the wild. But what about the emotional and mental things that keep the dating pool
smaller? Let's talk about that for a few minutes. Because I believe that we are in a season
right now where God is addressing some things that have been hiding out. And all of a sudden,
they're getting revealed to be healed by situations that you have found yourself in. Maybe you
just met someone just recently, that just really triggers you. And I'm talking about
a romantic possibility. I'm talking about just a person, a new person at church, a new
person at work, a new person in the friend group, someone that you barely know that God
introduced to you from a friend, maybe a friend of a friend introduced you to someone.
And you're just having a preliminary conversation with this person at an event, at a party.
And they're just kind of rude to you. They just kind of give you the stink eye. They
just give you some disdain. And you're just like, what in the world? And it evokes some
emotions in your heart that you didn't know still live there of inadequacy, of inferiority,
of fear of rejection. Come on, you guys. Anyone else? I had this happen to me just recently.
My kids invited me to something and they introduced me to some kids. You guys, the people that
I'm talking about that triggered me are young enough to be my children, but they were so
disrespectful and so disdainful that it literally triggered some stuff inside of me that's just
been hanging out. Little, what's it called? Flashpoint, waiting for a spark, right? Just
in there. And so if this starts happening to you, if it has been happening to you up
until the call, then you know, because I'm talking right to you. But it may start happening
to you after the call. Some of you are like, man, Jackie, I can't relate. Well, you're
about to. You're about to relate. You're going to come on here next week or you're going
to go into your groups next week. You'd be like, wow, Jackie was telling the truth because
I just had a situation like this. What is God doing? He's just getting us more ready
for deeper community, for deeper friendship, for partnership. The more stuff that you can
address before marriage, the better. Because what I said is true. I want to see the hands
of people that live absolutely alone. You don't live with anybody else. You live by
yourself. Put your little avatar hand up. Don't put your hand up in the video. Put your
little yellow flesh colored hand up the avatar hand. You live totally alone, completely alone.
No one else lives in your space. Just you. Just you. Got your own apartment, own house,
condo, van down by the river. Whatever you got. Lots of people. Lots of people. Okay.
So you guys are even more susceptible to this because you're not being constantly stretched
by people in your space. I just want to let you know people in your space is a whole new
ball game. Okay. That if you hope to be married, you're going to actually have to let them
move in with you. You know that, right? Or you're going to move in with them. Like you're
going to actually cohabitate. I used to say this about my first husband. Opposites attract,
but they don't cohabitate. You can be attracted to a lot of people, but when you're out there
in this wild, wild west of dating, I want you to remember that you actually have to
live with this person. They might be nice to look at, but are they good to live with?
That's the question that we should be asking ourselves as we're meeting people. Do they
have a good temperament? Do you have a good temperament?
may be the issue.
And you just haven't been around anyone
in close enough proximity for them
to call you out enough lately.
It's important.
Some of you guys have gotten really rigid
in your singleness.
Not just talking to the people living alone,
I'm talking to everybody.
You've gotten a little rigid in your singleness.
You've gotten a little bit set in your ways
in your singleness.
You're like, but Jackie, I don't know,
how do I change that until I'm in a relationship?
I don't wanna be arguing with the person
that I'm dating every other day
because I've become closed-minded,
I've become rigid, I've become set in my own ways.
I want what I want, blah, blah, blah.
How do I combat that even before I meet someone?
Well, I'll tell you,
because that's what today's Supernatural Saturday is about.
What is God trying to do?
He's trying to get us ready.
Why?
Because it's coming, all right?
And you don't wanna sabotage it
in the first several meetings.
You don't wanna sabotage even deeper friendships, community.
God is taking the solitary, listen to me,
and he's placing us in family.
That is what's happening in this season.
All across the board,
all different types of relationships.
They're coming around the corner when they come,
they're coming.
And it's really important
that we are able to meet those relationships halfway,
that we're able to meet them there,
that we're able to be not necessarily easygoing people,
but people with good temperaments,
people that other people wanna be around,
people that don't have to have their way,
people that are not guarded, not overly self-protected,
people that have not become rigid and frigid,
people that are not closed-minded.
It's really important that we're not people
that are easily triggered and offended.
You guys, offended people are the worst people to be around
because it's not hard to offend them again.
They're already offended, and guess what?
They're looking for a reason to be offended.
And some of you are those people,
I love you, but it's true of you,
and you've gotta get down to that root of offense.
And God wants to get down to it with you
because he wants you to have deep
and meaningful relationships with other people.
That is what you're on this earth to do.
And we can't do that if we're always self-protecting.
We have to become God-defended.
We cannot stay self-defended.
So you're like,
Jackie, how do I do this outside of relationship?
How do I prepare for friendships and community?
How do I prepare for romantic relationship
without having it?
I'll tell you how you do it.
You start doing things
that absolutely make you uncomfortable.
And then you start dealing with the aftermath of that.
And I mean relationally uncomfortable.
You start opening yourself up more.
You start sharing more about yourself.
For those of you that are closed up like Fort Knox,
you start actually sharing with people about yourself.
I just recently finished up a book club
where there were several people in that book club
that said they didn't have friends
that really knew how much they wanted to be married.
Why?
Because they don't share about themselves with others.
They're not vulnerable with other people.
And there's good reasons for that.
They might've grown up in a household
where it wasn't safe to be vulnerable.
They may have grown up in a household
where the household, the family told them
that it wasn't safe to be vulnerable with anybody else
besides the people in the family.
We're private people.
Anyone else grow up in a family
is like we're private people.
We don't share.
We don't talk about ourselves or our family.
We're private people.
Maybe that's what happened.
Or maybe you just got burned.
You just got burned.
You just got rejected.
You just got hurt.
Whatever, doesn't matter.
Doesn't matter.
God is inviting us to come and sit at his table.
God is inviting you to step into your royal identity.
Remember that dude, Mephibosheth from the Bible?
For those of you that are like,
I'm not gonna date anymore scrubs,
gentlemen, you're like, I'm not gonna date anymore
mean, rigid, and frigid women that are nags.
Okay, yeah, we call that settling for crumbs, right?
Well, Mephibosheth is where that originates from
in my opinion.
Mephibosheth was literally Saul's grandson,
King Saul, Jonathan's son.
And after his grandfather made some bad decisions,
he got caught up in the crosshairs of that.
So many of you inherited trauma from your family.
So you can feel what Mephibosheth might've been feeling.
It wasn't his fault.
He didn't do anything wrong.
He inherited that trauma because he was injured
when everyone was fleeing because the kingdom was falling.
His nursemaid dropped him.
He was injured.
He was actually crippled.
from that fall, and now his grandfather is no longer in power.
His father, who should have become king after his grandfather is no longer in power.
David is king, actually.
God's chosen his king.
And where's Mephibosheth, the grandson of the king, the son of the future king?
Where is he at?
He's in some beggar's house.
He's in some pauper's house.
He's in some servant's house.
Where is he?
Is he living like a king with the servants?
No, he's under a table.
He's under their table eating the crumbs that fall from their table.
They were servants in the kingdom.
They were servants in his grandfather's house, and now he's less than a servant.
He's a beggar, a crumb eater in their house.
You guys, you can't get much lower than that, can you?
You can't get much lower than that.
And some of you feel that way about yourselves.
Internally, your actions, your behavior, your whole personality has become a victim.
And guess what?
David loved Jonathan, not Saul so much, but Jonathan.
And he remembered a promise that he made to Jonathan.
So one day he asks everyone, hey, is there anything that I can do to fulfill my covenant
to my friend Jonathan?
Now that he's passed on, he died in battle, he's gone, I'm the king.
What can I do?
They said, well, you know, he has a son.
Oh, he has a son?
Yeah, he has a son.
Where's the son at?
Oh, he's down a load of bar.
You guys, that word means low, lower than the bar.
No, it doesn't.
But it does mean it is.
I forget what it means, but it's not good.
Anyway, that's where he is.
This is a Bible story, Jackie's Way.
So he goes and he takes his entourage and he goes to this servant's house to find Mephibosheth
after he learns of his existence.
And you guys, Mephibosheth does not want to go with King David.
Mephibosheth does not feel worthy to go and become a son and sit at the king's table.
He is offered to sit at the king's table for all the days of his life.
All the days of his life.
He's offered a new position.
He's offered a new identity and he doesn't want to.
Why doesn't he want to?
Because of how he feels about himself inside.
Okay, so low to bar means nothing.
It means no pasture.
Means no pasture.
It means nothing.
It's like a place.
It's like a nowhere place.
He was in nowhereville.
Okay.
And we're using it as, you know, a place of feeling forgotten.
And some of you live in low to bar.
You live in low to bar.
You feel forgotten.
Feel like a whole bunch of bad stuff has happened to you and you've been forgotten.
And guess what?
Your personality shows it because you're coddling rejection and offense and unforgiveness and
victimhood.
You're like, Jackie, how did this Supernatural Saturday turn into this?
We started out so good.
Yeah.
And that is the message.
Because you're going to sabotage future relationship.
Mephibosheth was self-sabotaging.
He was self-sabotaging, you guys.
Everything he ever wanted showed up at the door and he was rejecting it.
Do you think that it's possible that you could do that?
All the things you've been praying for and hoping for, they show up differently than
you expect, but you reject them because you don't feel worthy.
Now that's not what you're going to say on the outside.
You're going to say, oh no, I don't trust this.
I don't want this.
This isn't what I'm looking for.
This isn't what I expected.
But the internal dialogue deep inside your heart is going to be the same.
You feel afraid.
You feel unsure.
You feel unworthy.
I think the best thing that could happen to any of us is that love shows up in a package
that offends us.
Because that offense got to come to the surface sooner or later.
You're like, how does it offend me?
Well, it offends you because it isn't what you expected.
Or maybe on some of those first few dates, you actually get offended.
You get offended because there was always a ticking time bomb just sitting there waiting
to be detonated.
Can we just defuse the bombs before they go off?
Can we just go ahead and do that?
Because I really do believe that's the kind of season that God has called us into right
now.
The kind of season where he wants to teach us, show us, heal us, grow us.
Now I had a...
every right after this little offense that happened
with these young people that I'm talking about,
I could have held the line because I wasn't wrong.
In my feelings, I wasn't wrong.
And if I would have taken that situation
to other older people, okay, people my age,
and been like, what do you think of this?
They'd be like, oh yeah, you're right, you're right.
They're wrong, you're right.
But you guys, when we get into a situation
where it's like, who's right, who's wrong?
Everyone is wrong.
This is where we all lose.
And you know why?
Because they're triggering you for a reason.
It doesn't mean that you have to be their best friend.
It doesn't mean that you're gonna continue
in relationship with them.
But it does mean that God is trying to show you
something about yourself in the scenario.
And if you refuse to learn it,
you're just gonna have to learn it some other time later.
I wanna fall on the rock.
I don't want the rock to fall on me.
You have two choices.
You either fall on the rock or the rock falls on you.
I wanna fall on the rock.
I'm that kind of person.
Yeah, no, I'm not saying I won't be butthurt for a minute.
I'm not saying that I'm not gonna be upset.
I'm not saying that.
But what I am saying is that really pretty quickly,
probably within the first few hours,
maybe definitely the first day,
I'm gonna be like, ugh, I'm being a jerk.
I'm gonna know that about myself very, very quickly.
Why is that?
Because I'm self-aware and I don't have to be right.
My ego is not big.
Now, you guys, when you meet me,
everything else about me is big, all right?
I'm a very big person.
I'm just tall and I'm broad-shouldered
and I have a big personality and I have a loud voice.
I'm big, okay?
But my ego is not big.
It isn't.
I have a heart of humility that really wants to please God.
I have a heart of humility that really wants to love others.
I have a very forgiving nature
that really wants to meet people where they are.
Now, I might get a little crusty in a moment
and be a little offended,
but it's not gonna stick.
Because of why?
Because I've done a lot of hard work.
Lots and lots and lots and lots of it.
And I believe that we are in a place
where God wants to show us.
And maybe being offended, being angry, being mad,
being rejected, maybe that's not your jam.
Maybe that's not what's going on here.
Maybe you're the kind of person
who feels like you have to do things perfectly all the time
and you cannot handle any kind of input
about not doing things perfectly.
Maybe you're very defensive.
Anybody else really defensive?
Someone says, oh, hey, I didn't like it.
I didn't do anything.
I'm not.
Because inside you're like, I'm not bad.
I didn't do anything.
I didn't hurt anyone.
I did it right.
I crossed my T's.
I dotted my I's.
I get up early in the morning
to make sure that I don't disappoint anyone
and I don't do anything wrong that could make anyone upset.
Yeah, so I'm not defensive.
I'm the most defensive voice that you've ever had.
Right?
And some of you, your toxic trait is,
well, I'm just messy
and you just either like me or you don't.
Like you're not even trying to work on yourself.
You're just like, you know what?
If you don't love me on my worst day,
then you don't deserve me on my best day.
No, no, no, no, friends.
Let's try to have some more best days, shall we?
Shall we?
All right, everyone has a toxic trait.
Put it in the chat.
What is, come on, get honest about yourself.
What is your toxic trait
that you know God may be knocking on your door
to work on real soon?
Come on.
What is it?
Danielle says she has two highest standards.
You guys, those can become walls.
It's not wrong
to have some standards, y'all.
But if no one can ever meet them,
then you know that maybe they might be a defense mechanism.
Holding in your anger.
Oh, being passive.
You guys, passive aggressiveness.
Ooh.
Passive aggressiveness will get you in so much trouble.
For me, I'm like, just be passive or just be aggressive,
but choose one, please.
People-pleasing.
Oh, people-pleasing will get you in so much trouble.
Some people say I'm lacking.
boundaries. I got a bad attitude because I get insecure. Getting triggered by other
people's relationships. Be like, girl, how are you gonna let him talk to you that
way? It's like that's not even your relationship. You're over here getting
triggered for somebody else.
Come on, y'all.
Oh, so sweet. Everyone's like, Jackie is really sweet and kind. Look, road rage.
David Dorman has road rage.
Come on, everyone reading them? I'm reading them. Always expecting the worst
to happen, right? Being stuck in the negative, negative Nelly, hyper-aggressive,
over-functioning. Look at these, you guys. I have trouble trusting lots of
people saying I'm jealous, I'm insecure, I'm easily frustrated. I try to fix
people. I try to make them perfect like me. I overachieve, I control.
I have a hard time not being vulnerable. I'm too vulnerable. TMI, too much
information. I scare people away with my neediness or my clinginess.
Right, you guys. So many good ones in the chat. It's time for us to deal with this
stuff. Yeah, it is true that you're not going to deal with all of it outside of
relationship, meaning that that is where the healing is going to come. Remember
our motto here at Last Year Single. Hurt in relationship, healed in relationship.
Hurt in family, healed in family. For those of you that are divorced or
widowed, hurt in marriage, healed in marriage. Hurt in friendship, healed in
friendship, right? Yeah. Reconciled to God, ourselves, and others. That is the
ministry of reconciliation. We're whole in Christ, complete in marriage, and
healed in family. For those of you that are new, I'm just telling you all of our
mantras here. By the way, you guys, I just found out about another success story. Now
this girl was a boss babe. She was a boss babe. She was like, I can do it all by
myself, woman, in her 50s, all right? And had never been married, wanted to be
married. And she just was like, she thought that she was perfectly good. She
thought she had done all the work. She didn't realize how rigid she was. And she
did the heart work. She really took it to heart. Get it? There's the pun. And she
really laid down some of those swords, laid down the, you know, let God take down
some of those walls. And I'm happy to report that she's getting married, Labor
Day weekend. And here's what's really interesting. You know who she's marrying?
She's marrying someone that she didn't click with when she was Miss Boss Babe.
That's right. She met this guy years ago. And they had a falling out because they
both were stubborn and had heart work to do. And so they head butted. They had a
lot of good things in the relationship, but they're both hard headed. Both wanted
their own way. And so they just went their own ways. And then guess what?
Circled back around. I wish I could say it was two or three years later, but we're
talking 10, 15 years later, y'all. It's like, man, if we could just do this work,
do we just not need to circle around the mountain 10 or 15 more years? Let's go.
Could she have married someone else in that timeframe that liked her just the way
she was and just could put up with her stubbornness and hardheadedness and Boss
Babeness? Sure. But she went through a lot of healing. She went through a lot of
things. She laid down a lot of stuff. And friends, we can make this last a long
time where we can go on the short path. I really believe that. It doesn't have to
take a long time. It's about how surrendered are you willing to be? How
willing are you to look at the things that are keeping you in your prickly
preparedness? For those of you that that put that in the chat, how willingly are
you looking at your standards that are no longer standards, but now they're
walls. How willing and how quickly are you willing to do this? Anyway, she's
getting married because guess what? They circle back around. They ran back into
each other. They both have softer hearts. They both have done a lot of work. And
now here they are. That happens. Remember that full circle word for those of you
that have been here for a while?
God gave me a word for the singles that people are going to come full circle.
And we've had numerous people in this community run back into someone that they knew before
in whatever context.
They used to work together.
They used to go to school together, whatever, whatever, and now have married them.
Went on one date with them, didn't like them on that first date.
Never went on a second date.
Went into them five years later, married them.
And not because they settled, you guys, because they didn't really give them a chance.
Why?
Because they had walls up.
One little thing triggered them and then they're like, no, I'm out.
I'm out.
Here's the fun thing, you guys.
If you're willing to address your triggers and say, hey God, you can pray this crazy
prayer.
And for those of you that are still in the heart work phase, you can go get the book
and you can do the permission slip.
For those of you that are not in that, I really consider, I would really consider, you should
consider going and looking at that permission slip and just getting fresh on it again and
giving God permission.
Because that's the crazy thing that I'm about to say.
Teach me, show me, heal me, grow me.
That's my favorite prayer.
You can pray right after we get off this call and we can pray it on this call before we
get off this call.
You can ask God, hey, can you put me in some scenarios even this week that show me my triggers?
Oh my God, Lord, you can put me in some scenarios even this week that show me where my heart
is hard.
Would anyone want to pray that with me?
I mean, I'll do it too.
You never outgrow this, you guys, even when you get married.
Who is willing to pray and say, God, teach me, show me, heal me, grow me?
Who is willing to say, God, can you put me on the fast track into seeing a couple of
these things?
Now, we're not asking for crazy things to happen.
We're just asking to have some run-ins with some human beings that unearth some stuff
that we've been medicating, insecurity, fear, judgmentalism, criticism, disappointment,
discouragement.
It doesn't matter what it is.
And remember, friends, if you feel it this week, it's not because you're about to take
up residence there like Mephibosheth at Lodabar.
It's because God is showing you that it still lives inside of you.
It's been hiding out in your heart.
All it is is for you to address it and release it so you can move forward.
Is that not exciting?
You don't got to stay stuck here.
You're not inviting God to take you and put you in traction for two years in some horrible
situation.
You're inviting him just to show you what's under the surface so you can defuse that bomb
before it detonates two years into your marriage and blows things up.
Because I promise you, you will not hide that crazy forever, even from yourself.
A lot of people don't even know that that's what's in them until it gets triggered.
So we're praying for triggers, you friends.
I know that sounds a little crazy.
We're praying that we would be triggered.
Wouldn't we rather God do it, and we let God do it, low stakes than high stakes?
Wouldn't you rather have it low stakes than high stakes?
You know?
Maybe this week you get a call from your mama or your daddy that's still alive, and you've
just been loving them from a distance, but they say something that reminds you of why
you're loving them from a distance, and that you got some unforgiveness in your heart
towards them.
I'm not saying that you're going to go move in next door so you guys can see each other
every single day, but I am saying that there may be some things that you need to put on
your list, put in your forgiveness template, and forgive.
Rosanna's like, this prayer scares me.
I want to pray this prayer.
Raise your hand if you're with Rosanna.
You're like, this prayer scares me.
I'm not real sure if I want to pray it or not.
Y'all, I don't know what you think God's going to do to you.
He loves you.
All you're doing is just asking for things to get sped up instead of waiting another
six months to find out that you're very, very, very, very, very insecure still.
But He loves you.
getting six months into a relationship,
He loves you.
wanting to check the man's phone every day.
Oh, hey, I forgot my phone again.
Can I see yours?
You know what you're doing.
And pretty soon he's gonna catch on.
And let me tell you ladies something about men
that are not doing anything bad.
It gets a little old.
He might have a little grace at first,
but it gets a little old when you start accusing him
of things he hasn't done.
It's gonna get old pretty fast.
So if you can't trust a man, let's find that out now
and let's work on it.
You're like, well, Jackie, I can't work on it
until I have a really good man that earns my trust.
No friend, that's not how it works.
That's not how it works.
Now there are men out there that would deal
with your traumatized little booty
and they will bring healing to you,
but you gotta meet them halfway.
Are you willing to meet them halfway?
I'm distinctly talking to at least five of you right now
because Holy Spirit's like, stay here, Jackie, stay here.
Because she's gonna chase him away with her insecurity
and with her lack of trust.
She's gonna make him pay for something some other man did,
even if it was your daddy who abandoned the family.
Ladies, we can't do that.
And gentlemen, just because that other woman rejected you,
said you weren't good enough,
didn't think you had a good enough job,
didn't think you made enough money,
didn't wanna see you on a second or third date,
didn't like the restaurant you took her to,
nagged you, criticized you, tried to fix you,
even if it was your mama who was doing all that stuff,
you gotta deal with that stuff
before you think all women are nags,
all women are criticizers and judges.
Women are hard to please.
In fact, they're impossible to please.
You guys cannot step into relationships
with these kinds of mindsets.
And gentlemen, you also can't be like,
I'm not good enough, I'm not ready, I'm not ready,
I'm not ready, I'm not ready, I'm not ready.
There's gotta be a point in time where you're just say,
hey, you know what?
I'm not perfect, but I'm ready.
And friends, do not hear today's Supernatural Saturday
as you gotta get perfect in order to be ready.
All God is inviting us into is looking at something
that may cause you a big headache in a couple months
when you're trying to go deeper into relationships.
Wouldn't you love to just know the future
and get a sneak preview?
There isn't one person here
that wouldn't go fix something
if you were able to see the future
and see how it affected you.
There isn't one person here who wouldn't fix it now.
God's not saying do this
or you don't get into relationships.
He's saying do this so that your relationships
that are coming around the corner,
that are coming to you,
that are coming around the corner,
any minute now will just be better.
Do you hear what I'm saying?
They'll just be better.
You know your toxic trait, you just admitted to it.
Now, let me show you what's underneath it,
what's behind it, what's the root of it.
Let's pull it out together
so that it doesn't have to keep sabotaging you.
Guys, I know what I'm talking about.
My lack of preparation did not stop David Dorman
from showing up and moving in next door to me.
It didn't stop us from getting married,
but you know what it did do?
It made the first two years super hard.
I'm being honest with you now and you need to hear me.
I'm going on 20 years of marriage.
We didn't get divorced.
We love each other.
We're a great couple.
We're an amazing couple.
We raised an incredible family.
We raised children that love us,
that are like Velcro kids.
We can't get rid of them.
They love us.
They want to hang out with us.
They're married.
They have their own families.
We're like, hey, mom and dad, where are you doing?
They look on their phone.
You know, the Find My Friends app.
They find out where we are
and they come where we are unexpectedly and say,
oh, saw you were having dinner together,
thought we'd join in.
May all of you have such children in your future
because it's amazing and I love it.
But the first two years of blending a family,
cause there's a reason why blended rhymes with offended.
Let me tell you that right now.
Cause if you're offended and you get in a blended family,
oh, you're going to be real offended.
There's all kinds of triggers in a blended family.
It's like walking through post-Vietnam.
There's landmines buried everywhere that you forgot about.
Every other week, I was stepping on one of those landmines and literally blowing my whole
life up.
Now, do you think, do you think if I would have known the heart work that I would have
chosen?
Because remember, this is where God taught me the heart work and that book that you have
was built on what I'm talking about.
So it's a good thing I did that so I could write the book on it.
But here's the thing, do you think that if I was given a choice like you are right now
to actually be shown what is going to affect my future relationships negatively, you don't
think that I would have dealt with that?
Yeah.
And that is what God's doing today.
He's saying, Hey, your wildest dreams are about to come true.
But if you want it to be better, let's deal with this now.
Let's look at this now.
You guys, you don't have to be perfect to be worthy of love, but love will be a whole
lot easier if you let God deal with some of this stuff.
You don't have to have that big, huge fight in month two of dating and then cry yourself
to sleep because you think that it's over and they're going to break up with you and
you don't hear from them for several days and you're like, that's it, that's it.
I chased them away, blah, blah, blah.
That doesn't need to happen.
I'm not saying it's going to be smooth sailing, but that, that one doesn't have to happen.
You don't have to turn down the guy that's been divorced because you're insecure and
you don't want no baby mama drama in your life.
You don't have to turn down that great guy that's divorced, his wife left him because
she's messed up, not because he was a bad husband.
There's nothing he could do about it.
You guys, people marry damaged people and then those bombs go off and they blow up marriages.
That's what happens because that person never did their hard work, but you don't have to
turn that guy down because you're like, Oh, he's divorced.
There must be something wrong with them because you got insecurity because you don't want
to be in a blended family because you don't know if you can deal with the jealousy of
the fact that he had kids with someone else and that she's always going to be there, always
going to be around somewhere.
Can I tell you what I did last night?
I went out to dinner, voluntarily planned it with my husband, David's former wife and
her husband and hung out cause we're up in Ohio where we come from and had fun.
And you know what I did with her the day before I went to the Ohio state fair with her the
day before and hung out and ate fricking funnel cakes.
Why?
Is it because I'm just the most amazing, secure person that ever walked the earth?
No, no, no, no.
When I married this man, I'm the same woman when I married him 20 years ago that went
through his house and got every single thing that she ever purchased and sent it to Goodwill.
I'm the same woman that went through his family photos.
And if she was in any of them, even if they included the kids, I put them in a box and
I sent them to her because, hey, you might want these pictures that you're in.
But that wasn't the real reason.
The real reason was I didn't want her up in my house.
That's the real reason.
Why?
Because I didn't want to look at her face.
That's my man.
You left.
You lost him.
Too bad for you.
Now it didn't take me 20 years to get here.
You guys.
It took me two years to get here, two.
But the first two years were bad.
They were bad.
Your first two years don't need to be bad.
They were hard.
You guys have been waiting a real long time to get partnered.
You've been waiting a real long time for your love stories.
Do you want to get into your love story and have to deal with all this junk?
You don't.
I promise you that.
So let's deal with the insecurities.
Kim, were you being passive aggressive?
No, I was just being aggressive.
I don't know if it was even passive, okay.
We don't have to be insecure friends.
We don't have to be inferior.
We don't have to be jealous.
We don't have to be offended.
We don't have to play victim.
We don't have to be afraid.
We don't have to be any of these things.
So father, we are praying today.
Don't pray it if you don't want it.
Teach me, show me, heal me, grow me.
Teach me, show me, show me myself, show me my heart.
Show me what I'm medicating.
Show me what I'm going to have to deal with in relationship if I don't deal with it now.
Heal me in these deep places, in these traumas, in these rejections where I feel forgotten
and abandoned, where I don't feel like I'm good enough, where I feel like I've been passed
up and left behind.
Grow me.
Who wants an accelerated growth?
Just you just want to just, whew, you want a growth spurt in a good way where you become
just such a healthier and higher version of yourself.
What might've taken you 20 years, God can do in two months in your life right now.
Who wants that?
Come on.
I just released that over them right now, Father.
You've done so much work in me in the last 20 years.
I pray that they would have an acceleration of heartwork and acceleration of growth.
They would be able to see clearly, God, not through the lens of offense, not through the
root of bitterness, see clearly so that they can enjoy their relationships.
They can enjoy their life.
They can realize that they don't have to own other people's junk.
They don't have to take that on.
They can understand deeply in their spirit, in their heart, what real boundaries look
like.
Real boundaries are just identity.
Lord, just give them an upgrade of identity so that they can have healthy boundaries with
people, even broken people because everyone's broken in one way or another.
And so Lord, we just thank you, God, that they'll never settle for something unhealthy
after today because you're going to grow them up in those places where they over-function
and those places where they settle for less than they deserve and the places where they
put themselves in situations with people that have not done any work, that are not healthy,
and they try to heal that person.
They try to drag that person into their healing and into their victory.
No more.
The places where they avoid anyone who has anything that triggers them, Father, all of
these things, Lord.
Even this week, God, for those that are willing, let them see something that you want to reveal
and heal.
Let them see something that they are holding onto, harboring in their own personality,
in their own heart, that you want to reveal and heal to get them ready for this beautiful
season of relationship, friendship, community, and love.
Yes, Lord.
Yes, yes, Lord.
Amen.
Come on, y'all.
It's beautiful.
Just looking through your faces right now, so many beautiful, wonderful future husbands
and wives, future best friends, future leaders, future bonus moms, bonus dads.
So many beautiful, wonderful people ready for love.
All right.
Who prayed that prayer?
Let's see it in the chat.
Say yes, Lord.
Come on.
It's not a fun one, you guys, but I promise you it's worth it.
It might hurt a little tiny bit right now when God reveals it and heals it, but I promise
you it'll hurt a whole lot worse later.
All right.
This is one that we want you guys to keep us posted on.
So in your groups, whatever group you're in, let us know what gets triggered this coming
week.
Let us know what comes up, what gets revealed, what gets healed, what memory you start thinking
about that's offending you still, what person comes up in your heart that you're like, man,
I really need to forgive them.
I thought I did forgive them, but I realized that I really dislike them.
I really feel very, very upset about what they did to me still.
All of those feelings might be something that happens.
Come on, y'all.
We can't change other people, but we can let God change us.
All right, friends, thank you so much for joining me.
I'm going to go and love on my mother-in-law.
She has a test on Monday.
Please keep us in prayer.
We're expecting good reports, and we'll see you soon.
Bye, everyone.