WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:05.080 Good morning, everybody. 2 00:00:05.080 --> 00:00:09.320 I am on the East Coast today visiting my in-laws. 3 00:00:09.320 --> 00:00:15.120 My mother-in-law is having some really important cognitive testing, so please keep our family 4 00:00:15.120 --> 00:00:16.440 in prayer. 5 00:00:16.440 --> 00:00:19.240 If you're new to Supernatural Saturday, welcome. 6 00:00:19.240 --> 00:00:20.400 We're so glad you're here. 7 00:00:20.400 --> 00:00:24.720 This is the session of last year's single that happens every Saturday morning, depending 8 00:00:24.720 --> 00:00:25.720 on where you live. 9 00:00:25.720 --> 00:00:28.000 It could be at 10. 10 00:00:28.000 --> 00:00:31.720 I'm liking this East Coast time. 11 00:00:31.720 --> 00:00:32.720 It's a good time. 12 00:00:32.720 --> 00:00:33.800 It's a good time. 13 00:00:33.800 --> 00:00:37.960 I like it better than the West Coast time of 7 o'clock in the morning for Supernatural 14 00:00:37.960 --> 00:00:38.960 Saturday. 15 00:00:38.960 --> 00:00:44.760 So 10, it could be 9 if you're in the central time zone. 16 00:00:44.760 --> 00:00:50.520 It could be 8 if you're a mountain, and it could be 7 if you're on the West Coast. 17 00:00:50.520 --> 00:00:55.760 That is not the best coast for Supernatural Saturday, unless you're an early morning riser, 18 00:00:55.760 --> 00:00:56.760 and that's fine. 19 00:00:56.760 --> 00:01:01.960 But this is the session that I love the most, and it is the time of the week where we look 20 00:01:01.960 --> 00:01:05.720 to heaven to see, hey, what's God up to? 21 00:01:05.720 --> 00:01:07.080 What is he doing? 22 00:01:07.080 --> 00:01:12.120 What is he doing in that realm that's just right outside of our visual sight? 23 00:01:12.120 --> 00:01:13.840 What does he have planned? 24 00:01:13.840 --> 00:01:15.460 What are his purposes? 25 00:01:15.460 --> 00:01:18.160 What does he want us to participate and partner with him on? 26 00:01:18.160 --> 00:01:20.280 Boy, that was a lot of P words. 27 00:01:20.280 --> 00:01:26.000 So this is what we do on Saturdays, so if you're new, welcome to Saturday, Supernatural 28 00:01:26.000 --> 00:01:27.000 Saturday. 29 00:01:27.000 --> 00:01:30.640 All right, friends, well, you know, we've been digging into a lot of different stuff 30 00:01:30.640 --> 00:01:31.640 in our family. 31 00:01:31.640 --> 00:01:35.080 There's been a lot of things that have come to the surface lately. 32 00:01:35.080 --> 00:01:39.040 Anybody else been having some revealing for healings? 33 00:01:39.040 --> 00:01:40.040 What is a revealing for healing? 34 00:01:40.040 --> 00:01:41.360 Let me tell you what it is. 35 00:01:41.360 --> 00:01:45.240 For those of you that are not in the heart work right now, you're not in phase one of 36 00:01:45.240 --> 00:01:49.920 last year's single, where you are having a lot of revealings for healings, because that's 37 00:01:49.920 --> 00:01:51.960 what that phase is all about. 38 00:01:51.960 --> 00:01:56.840 Some of you graduated from phase one a long time ago, and so you haven't revisited your 39 00:01:56.840 --> 00:01:58.520 heart work in a while. 40 00:01:58.520 --> 00:02:00.880 But heart work is something that should keep on going. 41 00:02:00.880 --> 00:02:03.160 It's the gift that keeps on giving. 42 00:02:03.160 --> 00:02:09.800 And every once in a while, you will go through an era, a time, a season where it feels like 43 00:02:09.800 --> 00:02:15.100 there's a lot of stuff hidden in your heart that's coming to the surface. 44 00:02:15.100 --> 00:02:17.560 And I feel like we might be in one of those seasons. 45 00:02:17.560 --> 00:02:19.760 Anybody else been experiencing that? 46 00:02:19.760 --> 00:02:25.000 You just been experiencing some things where you're just like, man, maybe I'm not as emotionally 47 00:02:25.000 --> 00:02:27.180 available as I thought I was. 48 00:02:27.180 --> 00:02:29.400 Maybe I'm not as healed as I thought I was. 49 00:02:29.400 --> 00:02:32.720 Maybe I'm more angry than I thought I was. 50 00:02:32.720 --> 00:02:36.300 Maybe I'm more disappointed than maybe I even thought I was. 51 00:02:36.300 --> 00:02:39.120 Anybody else? 52 00:02:39.120 --> 00:02:43.280 Maybe I don't trust God as much as I think I do. 53 00:02:43.280 --> 00:02:45.880 Anybody else having that kind of stuff going on? 54 00:02:45.880 --> 00:02:46.880 All right. 55 00:02:47.000 --> 00:02:50.840 I've seen a lot of that happening in myself and my family. 56 00:02:50.840 --> 00:02:51.840 Obviously I'm the heart work chick. 57 00:02:51.840 --> 00:02:52.840 I wrote the book. 58 00:02:52.840 --> 00:02:55.960 So I should have done the most heart work of anyone. 59 00:02:55.960 --> 00:03:00.320 But there's always more little residual things to do that come to the surface. 60 00:03:00.320 --> 00:03:03.480 And I want to talk about that here for a few minutes. 61 00:03:03.480 --> 00:03:09.040 Because for when you're single and you live by yourself, now, if you live with some housemates, 62 00:03:09.040 --> 00:03:14.080 this might not be true because living in proximity to other people will force you to do your 63 00:03:14.080 --> 00:03:15.080 heart work. 64 00:03:15.080 --> 00:03:16.080 Am I right? 65 00:03:17.080 --> 00:03:21.680 When you come home from a long day at work and your housemates have left dirty dishes 66 00:03:21.680 --> 00:03:27.040 in the sink, if you're a clean freak and you come home and other people that are living 67 00:03:27.040 --> 00:03:31.400 in the same space as you have dirty things up and they don't pick up after themselves 68 00:03:31.400 --> 00:03:36.600 or they let their animals get on the sofa, even though you said no dogs on the couch, 69 00:03:36.600 --> 00:03:42.240 whatever it is, when you live with other people, whether it's your family, whether it's housemates, 70 00:03:42.240 --> 00:03:43.240 it doesn't matter what it is. 71 00:03:43.640 --> 00:03:47.920 When you live with other people, maybe it's your grown children, you will do continuous 72 00:03:47.920 --> 00:03:55.080 heart work because it will force you to because you are going to get triggered. 73 00:03:55.080 --> 00:03:57.280 People are going to trigger you. 74 00:03:57.280 --> 00:04:02.220 Those of you that work in an office with people day in and day out, you live in cubicle world, 75 00:04:02.220 --> 00:04:10.800 you are going to be triggered by other people's moods, by their attitudes, by their decisions. 76 00:04:11.280 --> 00:04:18.160 If you are mainly alone and you don't have a lot of proximity to people, then you may 77 00:04:18.160 --> 00:04:23.200 have been hiding out from this deeper level of healing that we're talking about. 78 00:04:23.200 --> 00:04:29.360 You may have, it keeps missing you because you're not around anything enough to really 79 00:04:29.360 --> 00:04:35.920 fully realize, oh, I'm not as healed as I thought I was. 80 00:04:35.920 --> 00:04:39.200 You know what's going to do it more than anything else? 81 00:04:39.200 --> 00:04:44.520 Getting into a relationship, ladies with a man, gentlemen with a woman. 82 00:04:44.520 --> 00:04:48.160 Those of you that are not in a relationship yet, I know a lot of you are, a lot of you 83 00:04:48.160 --> 00:04:53.080 are dating someone right now, but those of you that are not, when you start dating someone, 84 00:04:53.080 --> 00:04:57.840 and I don't just mean a date here and there, I mean dating someone, you are going to begin 85 00:04:57.840 --> 00:04:59.160 to get triggered. 86 00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:04.480 And I want to get us ready for that today on Supernatural Saturday, because I do believe 87 00:05:04.480 --> 00:05:09.880 that we're in a season of time where God's like, hey, let's cause a few things to come 88 00:05:09.880 --> 00:05:16.840 your way to go ahead and bring to the surface that stuff that's just right under the surface. 89 00:05:16.840 --> 00:05:18.400 Why would God want to do that? 90 00:05:18.400 --> 00:05:21.760 Because he wants it to be revealed so that it can be what? 91 00:05:21.760 --> 00:05:23.080 So that it can be healed. 92 00:05:23.080 --> 00:05:28.040 You're like, are you saying God's triggering me? 93 00:05:28.040 --> 00:05:29.300 Yes, I am. 94 00:05:29.300 --> 00:05:30.900 God is triggering you. 95 00:05:30.900 --> 00:05:31.900 He is triggering you. 96 00:05:31.900 --> 00:05:35.180 He is allowing things like, oh my gosh, I don't understand. 97 00:05:35.180 --> 00:05:37.260 Why would, why would God have allowed that? 98 00:05:37.260 --> 00:05:39.540 I prayed this morning when I got up. 99 00:05:39.540 --> 00:05:41.180 Why did I get that flat tire? 100 00:05:41.180 --> 00:05:44.020 I mean, is God even protecting me? 101 00:05:44.020 --> 00:05:45.020 Yeah. 102 00:05:45.020 --> 00:05:47.980 Well, that flat tire brought a lot to the surface, didn't it? 103 00:05:47.980 --> 00:05:48.980 And did you die? 104 00:05:48.980 --> 00:05:51.300 No, you didn't die. 105 00:05:51.300 --> 00:05:52.300 You're still here. 106 00:05:52.300 --> 00:05:54.040 You're still alive. 107 00:05:54.040 --> 00:05:59.560 But it brought up a lot of feelings that you already have that were just there under the 108 00:05:59.560 --> 00:06:00.640 surface. 109 00:06:00.640 --> 00:06:02.120 What kind of feelings? 110 00:06:02.120 --> 00:06:04.200 Feelings that you're not being protected. 111 00:06:04.200 --> 00:06:06.200 Feelings that you're not being taken care of. 112 00:06:06.200 --> 00:06:10.360 Feelings that you don't have any help in the world and that you're all alone in the world. 113 00:06:10.360 --> 00:06:13.760 What happens when we start to have these types of feelings? 114 00:06:13.760 --> 00:06:20.640 We start to get a lot more motivated to get in relationship, don't we? 115 00:06:20.640 --> 00:06:22.500 Don't we? 116 00:06:22.500 --> 00:06:30.220 If something happens that Little Miss Independent can't take care of anymore, gentlemen, let 117 00:06:30.220 --> 00:06:32.500 the ladies ride this one out for a second. 118 00:06:32.500 --> 00:06:37.780 If something happens that Little Miss Independent can't take care of, then Little Miss Independent 119 00:06:37.780 --> 00:06:44.620 realizes that she's been saying that she wants a partner, but she hasn't really been acting 120 00:06:44.620 --> 00:06:48.980 like she wants one. 121 00:06:48.980 --> 00:06:54.900 Isn't that what happens? 122 00:06:54.900 --> 00:07:11.060 Little Miss I-Can-Do-Bad-All-By-Myself hasn't been trusting any man to come closer because 123 00:07:11.060 --> 00:07:13.420 a lot of you are on this little roller coaster ride. 124 00:07:13.420 --> 00:07:15.180 Oh, I saw it in the comments. 125 00:07:15.180 --> 00:07:16.660 I change my mind daily. 126 00:07:17.300 --> 00:07:22.500 Some of you are on this roller coaster ride that it's like, yeah, I'm good. 127 00:07:22.500 --> 00:07:23.660 Some days you're like, I'm good. 128 00:07:23.660 --> 00:07:25.100 I don't need anyone. 129 00:07:25.100 --> 00:07:26.900 I do not need the stress of that. 130 00:07:26.900 --> 00:07:28.660 I do not need the drama of that. 131 00:07:28.660 --> 00:07:30.420 I do not need the trauma of that. 132 00:07:30.420 --> 00:07:33.940 Well, first of all, you're projecting onto your new relationship something that's happened 133 00:07:33.940 --> 00:07:36.900 in the past, so let's stop doing that. 134 00:07:36.900 --> 00:07:40.860 Second of all, you don't want to grow. 135 00:07:40.860 --> 00:07:42.580 You don't want to be stretched. 136 00:07:42.580 --> 00:07:48.500 I'm going to tell each and every one of you that your future relationship is not going 137 00:07:48.500 --> 00:07:50.420 to run smoothly. 138 00:07:50.420 --> 00:07:51.420 You know how I know? 139 00:07:51.420 --> 00:07:52.420 You're too old. 140 00:07:52.420 --> 00:07:55.940 You're like, well, what does age have to do with it? 141 00:07:55.940 --> 00:07:57.420 You got a lot of moving parts. 142 00:07:57.420 --> 00:07:58.420 That's what has to do with it. 143 00:07:58.420 --> 00:08:03.100 Do you know why we used to have these beautiful limerence infatuation moments when we were 144 00:08:03.100 --> 00:08:08.020 teenagers where we had these rose colored glasses on and we just couldn't stop thinking 145 00:08:08.020 --> 00:08:09.020 about them? 146 00:08:09.020 --> 00:08:10.020 You know, we call it puppy love. 147 00:08:10.020 --> 00:08:11.540 Do you know why we used to have that? 148 00:08:11.540 --> 00:08:16.660 Because most of us didn't have a lot of baggage back then. 149 00:08:16.660 --> 00:08:24.940 Now me, I just want to tell you, I was born with a six piece set of matching baggage luggage. 150 00:08:24.940 --> 00:08:29.860 Came into the world with lots of baggage already, but most people, even if your family's not 151 00:08:29.860 --> 00:08:41.580 great, most people still believe in that type of true love, perfect love, all the feelings. 152 00:08:41.580 --> 00:08:45.300 Of course, we have all the hormones coursing through our bodies too when we're young. 153 00:08:45.300 --> 00:08:50.900 But you guys, the older we get, the more complications, can we call it that? 154 00:08:50.900 --> 00:08:53.340 We add to the mix. 155 00:08:53.340 --> 00:08:57.180 The more complications we add to the mix. 156 00:08:57.180 --> 00:09:00.140 It can be as much as, oh, I got a bum knee. 157 00:09:00.140 --> 00:09:01.420 I got a bum knee. 158 00:09:01.420 --> 00:09:03.820 That's one of my complications. 159 00:09:03.820 --> 00:09:12.700 I can no longer walk really, really far because my knee does not want to do that. 160 00:09:12.700 --> 00:09:13.700 And what does that mean? 161 00:09:13.700 --> 00:09:18.060 That means that I kind of have to scratch off the list a bunch of people who all they're 162 00:09:18.060 --> 00:09:27.140 going to want to do with their marriage partner is walk and do fitness and climb mountains. 163 00:09:27.140 --> 00:09:28.140 God forbid. 164 00:09:28.140 --> 00:09:29.140 Okay. 165 00:09:29.140 --> 00:09:32.060 I don't understand why anybody wants to climb a mountain. 166 00:09:32.060 --> 00:09:33.420 God bless these folks. 167 00:09:33.420 --> 00:09:41.420 Some of you may be these folks, but the dating pool gets smaller when you have a bum knee, 168 00:09:41.420 --> 00:09:42.420 right? 169 00:09:42.420 --> 00:09:45.340 Unless you're willing to go get it fixed. 170 00:09:45.340 --> 00:09:52.180 A lot of people are like, yeah, I might look into that if I ever need to look into that. 171 00:09:52.180 --> 00:09:56.580 Some all you, some of you ladies had some babies that were big babies and now your bladder 172 00:09:56.580 --> 00:09:58.900 is hanging down by your knees. 173 00:09:58.900 --> 00:10:00.020 Got to pull that bladder back. 174 00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:05.040 up. It needs some meshing. It needs a support system. You need a little safety net for your 175 00:10:05.040 --> 00:10:10.600 bladder now, okay? Because if you laugh, you pee. If you sneeze, you pee. It's a problem 176 00:10:10.600 --> 00:10:16.160 for sure. And you say to yourself, oh, I might get that pelvic floor thing fixed if I ever 177 00:10:16.160 --> 00:10:24.880 need to. So here are some physical things that might make the dating pool smaller. But 178 00:10:24.880 --> 00:10:29.320 what about the mental and emotional things that might make that dating pool smaller? 179 00:10:29.320 --> 00:10:36.760 We're like, yeah, I might lose that 15 pounds if it's going to improve my options out there 180 00:10:36.760 --> 00:10:43.680 in the wild. But what about the emotional and mental things that keep the dating pool 181 00:10:43.680 --> 00:10:49.680 smaller? Let's talk about that for a few minutes. Because I believe that we are in a season 182 00:10:49.680 --> 00:10:56.960 right now where God is addressing some things that have been hiding out. And all of a sudden, 183 00:10:56.960 --> 00:11:02.680 they're getting revealed to be healed by situations that you have found yourself in. Maybe you 184 00:11:02.680 --> 00:11:07.280 just met someone just recently, that just really triggers you. And I'm talking about 185 00:11:07.280 --> 00:11:11.600 a romantic possibility. I'm talking about just a person, a new person at church, a new 186 00:11:11.600 --> 00:11:16.000 person at work, a new person in the friend group, someone that you barely know that God 187 00:11:16.000 --> 00:11:21.840 introduced to you from a friend, maybe a friend of a friend introduced you to someone. 188 00:11:21.840 --> 00:11:28.240 And you're just having a preliminary conversation with this person at an event, at a party. 189 00:11:28.240 --> 00:11:32.040 And they're just kind of rude to you. They just kind of give you the stink eye. They 190 00:11:32.040 --> 00:11:36.720 just give you some disdain. And you're just like, what in the world? And it evokes some 191 00:11:36.720 --> 00:11:43.240 emotions in your heart that you didn't know still live there of inadequacy, of inferiority, 192 00:11:43.280 --> 00:11:50.280 of fear of rejection. Come on, you guys. Anyone else? I had this happen to me just recently. 193 00:11:51.080 --> 00:11:57.000 My kids invited me to something and they introduced me to some kids. You guys, the people that 194 00:11:57.000 --> 00:12:02.320 I'm talking about that triggered me are young enough to be my children, but they were so 195 00:12:02.320 --> 00:12:08.400 disrespectful and so disdainful that it literally triggered some stuff inside of me that's just 196 00:12:08.400 --> 00:12:15.400 been hanging out. Little, what's it called? Flashpoint, waiting for a spark, right? Just 197 00:12:20.040 --> 00:12:25.320 in there. And so if this starts happening to you, if it has been happening to you up 198 00:12:25.320 --> 00:12:31.360 until the call, then you know, because I'm talking right to you. But it may start happening 199 00:12:31.360 --> 00:12:35.000 to you after the call. Some of you are like, man, Jackie, I can't relate. Well, you're 200 00:12:35.080 --> 00:12:41.080 about to. You're about to relate. You're going to come on here next week or you're going 201 00:12:41.080 --> 00:12:45.600 to go into your groups next week. You'd be like, wow, Jackie was telling the truth because 202 00:12:45.600 --> 00:12:52.600 I just had a situation like this. What is God doing? He's just getting us more ready 203 00:12:55.200 --> 00:13:02.200 for deeper community, for deeper friendship, for partnership. The more stuff that you can 204 00:13:05.480 --> 00:13:12.480 address before marriage, the better. Because what I said is true. I want to see the hands 205 00:13:14.960 --> 00:13:20.000 of people that live absolutely alone. You don't live with anybody else. You live by 206 00:13:20.000 --> 00:13:25.000 yourself. Put your little avatar hand up. Don't put your hand up in the video. Put your 207 00:13:25.000 --> 00:13:32.000 little yellow flesh colored hand up the avatar hand. You live totally alone, completely alone. 208 00:13:35.440 --> 00:13:42.440 No one else lives in your space. Just you. Just you. Got your own apartment, own house, 209 00:13:43.040 --> 00:13:50.040 condo, van down by the river. Whatever you got. Lots of people. Lots of people. Okay. 210 00:13:56.040 --> 00:14:03.040 So you guys are even more susceptible to this because you're not being constantly stretched 211 00:14:05.800 --> 00:14:12.800 by people in your space. I just want to let you know people in your space is a whole new 212 00:14:13.320 --> 00:14:19.480 ball game. Okay. That if you hope to be married, you're going to actually have to let them 213 00:14:19.480 --> 00:14:22.560 move in with you. You know that, right? Or you're going to move in with them. Like you're 214 00:14:22.560 --> 00:14:29.560 going to actually cohabitate. I used to say this about my first husband. Opposites attract, 215 00:14:30.560 --> 00:14:37.560 but they don't cohabitate. You can be attracted to a lot of people, but when you're out there 216 00:14:39.000 --> 00:14:44.320 in this wild, wild west of dating, I want you to remember that you actually have to 217 00:14:44.320 --> 00:14:50.000 live with this person. They might be nice to look at, but are they good to live with? 218 00:14:50.000 --> 00:14:55.680 That's the question that we should be asking ourselves as we're meeting people. Do they 219 00:14:55.680 --> 00:15:00.000 have a good temperament? Do you have a good temperament? 220 00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:02.920 may be the issue. 221 00:15:02.920 --> 00:15:04.880 And you just haven't been around anyone 222 00:15:04.880 --> 00:15:06.520 in close enough proximity for them 223 00:15:06.520 --> 00:15:09.160 to call you out enough lately. 224 00:15:11.240 --> 00:15:12.240 It's important. 225 00:15:14.140 --> 00:15:16.200 Some of you guys have gotten really rigid 226 00:15:16.200 --> 00:15:17.560 in your singleness. 227 00:15:17.560 --> 00:15:19.240 Not just talking to the people living alone, 228 00:15:19.240 --> 00:15:20.560 I'm talking to everybody. 229 00:15:20.560 --> 00:15:22.760 You've gotten a little rigid in your singleness. 230 00:15:22.760 --> 00:15:25.680 You've gotten a little bit set in your ways 231 00:15:25.680 --> 00:15:26.920 in your singleness. 232 00:15:27.960 --> 00:15:29.320 You're like, but Jackie, I don't know, 233 00:15:29.320 --> 00:15:31.880 how do I change that until I'm in a relationship? 234 00:15:31.880 --> 00:15:33.840 I don't wanna be arguing with the person 235 00:15:33.840 --> 00:15:35.680 that I'm dating every other day 236 00:15:35.680 --> 00:15:37.280 because I've become closed-minded, 237 00:15:37.280 --> 00:15:39.920 I've become rigid, I've become set in my own ways. 238 00:15:39.920 --> 00:15:42.480 I want what I want, blah, blah, blah. 239 00:15:42.480 --> 00:15:47.480 How do I combat that even before I meet someone? 240 00:15:48.440 --> 00:15:49.280 Well, I'll tell you, 241 00:15:49.280 --> 00:15:51.560 because that's what today's Supernatural Saturday is about. 242 00:15:51.560 --> 00:15:52.400 What is God trying to do? 243 00:15:52.400 --> 00:15:53.800 He's trying to get us ready. 244 00:15:54.680 --> 00:15:55.520 Why? 245 00:15:55.520 --> 00:15:57.960 Because it's coming, all right? 246 00:15:58.840 --> 00:16:00.160 And you don't wanna sabotage it 247 00:16:00.160 --> 00:16:01.840 in the first several meetings. 248 00:16:01.840 --> 00:16:05.680 You don't wanna sabotage even deeper friendships, community. 249 00:16:05.680 --> 00:16:08.320 God is taking the solitary, listen to me, 250 00:16:08.320 --> 00:16:10.320 and he's placing us in family. 251 00:16:10.320 --> 00:16:12.320 That is what's happening in this season. 252 00:16:13.280 --> 00:16:14.320 All across the board, 253 00:16:14.320 --> 00:16:16.440 all different types of relationships. 254 00:16:17.680 --> 00:16:19.520 They're coming around the corner when they come, 255 00:16:19.520 --> 00:16:20.360 they're coming. 256 00:16:20.360 --> 00:16:21.200 And it's really important 257 00:16:21.200 --> 00:16:25.440 that we are able to meet those relationships halfway, 258 00:16:25.440 --> 00:16:27.080 that we're able to meet them there, 259 00:16:27.280 --> 00:16:31.720 that we're able to be not necessarily easygoing people, 260 00:16:31.720 --> 00:16:33.360 but people with good temperaments, 261 00:16:33.360 --> 00:16:36.120 people that other people wanna be around, 262 00:16:36.120 --> 00:16:37.760 people that don't have to have their way, 263 00:16:37.760 --> 00:16:41.120 people that are not guarded, not overly self-protected, 264 00:16:41.120 --> 00:16:43.800 people that have not become rigid and frigid, 265 00:16:43.800 --> 00:16:45.680 people that are not closed-minded. 266 00:16:45.680 --> 00:16:47.880 It's really important that we're not people 267 00:16:47.880 --> 00:16:50.200 that are easily triggered and offended. 268 00:16:50.200 --> 00:16:53.480 You guys, offended people are the worst people to be around 269 00:16:53.480 --> 00:16:55.960 because it's not hard to offend them again. 270 00:16:57.560 --> 00:16:59.080 They're already offended, and guess what? 271 00:16:59.080 --> 00:17:01.000 They're looking for a reason to be offended. 272 00:17:01.000 --> 00:17:02.280 And some of you are those people, 273 00:17:02.280 --> 00:17:03.920 I love you, but it's true of you, 274 00:17:03.920 --> 00:17:06.280 and you've gotta get down to that root of offense. 275 00:17:06.280 --> 00:17:07.920 And God wants to get down to it with you 276 00:17:07.920 --> 00:17:09.720 because he wants you to have deep 277 00:17:09.720 --> 00:17:13.560 and meaningful relationships with other people. 278 00:17:13.560 --> 00:17:16.359 That is what you're on this earth to do. 279 00:17:16.359 --> 00:17:18.920 And we can't do that if we're always self-protecting. 280 00:17:18.920 --> 00:17:20.400 We have to become God-defended. 281 00:17:20.400 --> 00:17:22.920 We cannot stay self-defended. 282 00:17:22.920 --> 00:17:23.760 So you're like, 283 00:17:23.760 --> 00:17:25.880 Jackie, how do I do this outside of relationship? 284 00:17:25.920 --> 00:17:29.160 How do I prepare for friendships and community? 285 00:17:29.160 --> 00:17:31.680 How do I prepare for romantic relationship 286 00:17:31.680 --> 00:17:33.160 without having it? 287 00:17:33.160 --> 00:17:34.520 I'll tell you how you do it. 288 00:17:34.520 --> 00:17:35.680 You start doing things 289 00:17:35.680 --> 00:17:38.080 that absolutely make you uncomfortable. 290 00:17:40.000 --> 00:17:42.160 And then you start dealing with the aftermath of that. 291 00:17:42.160 --> 00:17:44.320 And I mean relationally uncomfortable. 292 00:17:46.560 --> 00:17:48.320 You start opening yourself up more. 293 00:17:48.320 --> 00:17:50.400 You start sharing more about yourself. 294 00:17:50.400 --> 00:17:52.600 For those of you that are closed up like Fort Knox, 295 00:17:52.600 --> 00:17:56.000 you start actually sharing with people about yourself. 296 00:17:58.640 --> 00:18:01.000 I just recently finished up a book club 297 00:18:02.200 --> 00:18:05.800 where there were several people in that book club 298 00:18:05.800 --> 00:18:09.600 that said they didn't have friends 299 00:18:09.600 --> 00:18:12.320 that really knew how much they wanted to be married. 300 00:18:12.320 --> 00:18:13.160 Why? 301 00:18:13.160 --> 00:18:15.120 Because they don't share about themselves with others. 302 00:18:15.120 --> 00:18:17.920 They're not vulnerable with other people. 303 00:18:17.920 --> 00:18:19.280 And there's good reasons for that. 304 00:18:19.280 --> 00:18:20.760 They might've grown up in a household 305 00:18:20.760 --> 00:18:22.560 where it wasn't safe to be vulnerable. 306 00:18:23.320 --> 00:18:24.160 They may have grown up in a household 307 00:18:24.160 --> 00:18:25.680 where the household, the family told them 308 00:18:25.680 --> 00:18:28.000 that it wasn't safe to be vulnerable with anybody else 309 00:18:28.000 --> 00:18:30.000 besides the people in the family. 310 00:18:30.000 --> 00:18:31.000 We're private people. 311 00:18:31.000 --> 00:18:32.120 Anyone else grow up in a family 312 00:18:32.120 --> 00:18:33.840 is like we're private people. 313 00:18:33.840 --> 00:18:35.240 We don't share. 314 00:18:35.240 --> 00:18:38.160 We don't talk about ourselves or our family. 315 00:18:38.160 --> 00:18:39.560 We're private people. 316 00:18:39.560 --> 00:18:40.560 Maybe that's what happened. 317 00:18:40.560 --> 00:18:42.000 Or maybe you just got burned. 318 00:18:43.240 --> 00:18:44.080 You just got burned. 319 00:18:44.080 --> 00:18:44.920 You just got rejected. 320 00:18:44.920 --> 00:18:46.000 You just got hurt. 321 00:18:46.000 --> 00:18:47.360 Whatever, doesn't matter. 322 00:18:49.360 --> 00:18:50.240 Doesn't matter. 323 00:18:53.520 --> 00:18:55.920 God is inviting us to come and sit at his table. 324 00:18:58.160 --> 00:19:01.960 God is inviting you to step into your royal identity. 325 00:19:01.960 --> 00:19:04.920 Remember that dude, Mephibosheth from the Bible? 326 00:19:08.120 --> 00:19:08.960 For those of you that are like, 327 00:19:08.960 --> 00:19:10.640 I'm not gonna date anymore scrubs, 328 00:19:10.640 --> 00:19:12.640 gentlemen, you're like, I'm not gonna date anymore 329 00:19:12.640 --> 00:19:16.480 mean, rigid, and frigid women that are nags. 330 00:19:16.480 --> 00:19:19.040 Okay, yeah, we call that settling for crumbs, right? 331 00:19:19.040 --> 00:19:21.640 Well, Mephibosheth is where that originates from 332 00:19:22.280 --> 00:19:23.160 in my opinion. 333 00:19:24.320 --> 00:19:28.200 Mephibosheth was literally Saul's grandson, 334 00:19:28.200 --> 00:19:30.520 King Saul, Jonathan's son. 335 00:19:31.640 --> 00:19:36.080 And after his grandfather made some bad decisions, 336 00:19:36.080 --> 00:19:38.000 he got caught up in the crosshairs of that. 337 00:19:38.000 --> 00:19:40.720 So many of you inherited trauma from your family. 338 00:19:40.720 --> 00:19:45.640 So you can feel what Mephibosheth might've been feeling. 339 00:19:45.640 --> 00:19:46.600 It wasn't his fault. 340 00:19:46.600 --> 00:19:47.600 He didn't do anything wrong. 341 00:19:47.600 --> 00:19:52.400 He inherited that trauma because he was injured 342 00:19:52.400 --> 00:19:56.760 when everyone was fleeing because the kingdom was falling. 343 00:19:56.760 --> 00:19:58.120 His nursemaid dropped him. 344 00:19:58.120 --> 00:19:58.960 He was injured. 345 00:19:58.960 --> 00:20:00.280 He was actually crippled. 346 00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:04.840 from that fall, and now his grandfather is no longer in power. 347 00:20:04.840 --> 00:20:09.720 His father, who should have become king after his grandfather is no longer in power. 348 00:20:09.720 --> 00:20:12.200 David is king, actually. 349 00:20:12.200 --> 00:20:13.960 God's chosen his king. 350 00:20:13.960 --> 00:20:21.080 And where's Mephibosheth, the grandson of the king, the son of the future king? 351 00:20:21.080 --> 00:20:22.420 Where is he at? 352 00:20:22.420 --> 00:20:24.380 He's in some beggar's house. 353 00:20:24.380 --> 00:20:26.000 He's in some pauper's house. 354 00:20:26.000 --> 00:20:27.600 He's in some servant's house. 355 00:20:27.600 --> 00:20:28.600 Where is he? 356 00:20:28.880 --> 00:20:31.000 Is he living like a king with the servants? 357 00:20:31.000 --> 00:20:33.520 No, he's under a table. 358 00:20:33.520 --> 00:20:37.800 He's under their table eating the crumbs that fall from their table. 359 00:20:37.800 --> 00:20:40.800 They were servants in the kingdom. 360 00:20:40.800 --> 00:20:44.800 They were servants in his grandfather's house, and now he's less than a servant. 361 00:20:44.800 --> 00:20:48.680 He's a beggar, a crumb eater in their house. 362 00:20:48.680 --> 00:20:53.080 You guys, you can't get much lower than that, can you? 363 00:20:53.080 --> 00:20:56.000 You can't get much lower than that. 364 00:20:56.000 --> 00:20:58.600 And some of you feel that way about yourselves. 365 00:20:58.600 --> 00:21:08.040 Internally, your actions, your behavior, your whole personality has become a victim. 366 00:21:08.040 --> 00:21:09.580 And guess what? 367 00:21:09.580 --> 00:21:15.880 David loved Jonathan, not Saul so much, but Jonathan. 368 00:21:15.880 --> 00:21:18.040 And he remembered a promise that he made to Jonathan. 369 00:21:18.040 --> 00:21:24.400 So one day he asks everyone, hey, is there anything that I can do to fulfill my covenant 370 00:21:24.400 --> 00:21:25.400 to my friend Jonathan? 371 00:21:25.400 --> 00:21:29.560 Now that he's passed on, he died in battle, he's gone, I'm the king. 372 00:21:29.560 --> 00:21:30.560 What can I do? 373 00:21:30.560 --> 00:21:32.120 They said, well, you know, he has a son. 374 00:21:32.120 --> 00:21:33.120 Oh, he has a son? 375 00:21:33.120 --> 00:21:34.120 Yeah, he has a son. 376 00:21:34.120 --> 00:21:35.120 Where's the son at? 377 00:21:35.120 --> 00:21:38.160 Oh, he's down a load of bar. 378 00:21:38.160 --> 00:21:42.160 You guys, that word means low, lower than the bar. 379 00:21:42.160 --> 00:21:43.160 No, it doesn't. 380 00:21:43.160 --> 00:21:44.360 But it does mean it is. 381 00:21:44.360 --> 00:21:46.200 I forget what it means, but it's not good. 382 00:21:46.200 --> 00:21:49.000 Anyway, that's where he is. 383 00:21:49.000 --> 00:21:52.080 This is a Bible story, Jackie's Way. 384 00:21:52.080 --> 00:21:58.920 So he goes and he takes his entourage and he goes to this servant's house to find Mephibosheth 385 00:21:58.920 --> 00:22:00.680 after he learns of his existence. 386 00:22:00.680 --> 00:22:04.200 And you guys, Mephibosheth does not want to go with King David. 387 00:22:04.200 --> 00:22:10.680 Mephibosheth does not feel worthy to go and become a son and sit at the king's table. 388 00:22:10.680 --> 00:22:16.120 He is offered to sit at the king's table for all the days of his life. 389 00:22:16.120 --> 00:22:18.280 All the days of his life. 390 00:22:18.280 --> 00:22:19.440 He's offered a new position. 391 00:22:19.440 --> 00:22:24.080 He's offered a new identity and he doesn't want to. 392 00:22:24.080 --> 00:22:25.600 Why doesn't he want to? 393 00:22:25.600 --> 00:22:28.000 Because of how he feels about himself inside. 394 00:22:28.000 --> 00:22:31.160 Okay, so low to bar means nothing. 395 00:22:31.160 --> 00:22:37.840 It means no pasture. 396 00:22:37.840 --> 00:22:38.840 Means no pasture. 397 00:22:38.840 --> 00:22:39.840 It means nothing. 398 00:22:39.840 --> 00:22:40.840 It's like a place. 399 00:22:40.840 --> 00:22:42.120 It's like a nowhere place. 400 00:22:42.120 --> 00:22:44.720 He was in nowhereville. 401 00:22:44.720 --> 00:22:46.760 Okay. 402 00:22:46.760 --> 00:22:50.440 And we're using it as, you know, a place of feeling forgotten. 403 00:22:50.440 --> 00:22:52.360 And some of you live in low to bar. 404 00:22:52.360 --> 00:22:53.360 You live in low to bar. 405 00:22:53.360 --> 00:22:54.360 You feel forgotten. 406 00:22:54.360 --> 00:22:58.360 Feel like a whole bunch of bad stuff has happened to you and you've been forgotten. 407 00:22:58.360 --> 00:22:59.360 And guess what? 408 00:22:59.360 --> 00:23:07.880 Your personality shows it because you're coddling rejection and offense and unforgiveness and 409 00:23:07.880 --> 00:23:08.880 victimhood. 410 00:23:08.880 --> 00:23:12.680 You're like, Jackie, how did this Supernatural Saturday turn into this? 411 00:23:12.680 --> 00:23:13.960 We started out so good. 412 00:23:13.960 --> 00:23:14.960 Yeah. 413 00:23:14.960 --> 00:23:18.720 And that is the message. 414 00:23:18.720 --> 00:23:23.200 Because you're going to sabotage future relationship. 415 00:23:23.200 --> 00:23:29.720 Mephibosheth was self-sabotaging. 416 00:23:29.720 --> 00:23:36.400 He was self-sabotaging, you guys. 417 00:23:36.400 --> 00:23:40.840 Everything he ever wanted showed up at the door and he was rejecting it. 418 00:23:41.320 --> 00:23:46.920 Do you think that it's possible that you could do that? 419 00:23:46.920 --> 00:23:50.360 All the things you've been praying for and hoping for, they show up differently than 420 00:23:50.360 --> 00:23:53.360 you expect, but you reject them because you don't feel worthy. 421 00:23:53.360 --> 00:23:57.000 Now that's not what you're going to say on the outside. 422 00:23:57.000 --> 00:23:59.760 You're going to say, oh no, I don't trust this. 423 00:23:59.760 --> 00:24:00.920 I don't want this. 424 00:24:00.920 --> 00:24:02.240 This isn't what I'm looking for. 425 00:24:02.240 --> 00:24:04.680 This isn't what I expected. 426 00:24:04.680 --> 00:24:09.540 But the internal dialogue deep inside your heart is going to be the same. 427 00:24:09.540 --> 00:24:10.540 You feel afraid. 428 00:24:10.540 --> 00:24:11.540 You feel unsure. 429 00:24:11.540 --> 00:24:12.540 You feel unworthy. 430 00:24:12.540 --> 00:24:18.740 I think the best thing that could happen to any of us is that love shows up in a package 431 00:24:18.740 --> 00:24:20.700 that offends us. 432 00:24:20.700 --> 00:24:24.340 Because that offense got to come to the surface sooner or later. 433 00:24:24.340 --> 00:24:26.940 You're like, how does it offend me? 434 00:24:26.940 --> 00:24:29.940 Well, it offends you because it isn't what you expected. 435 00:24:29.940 --> 00:24:34.460 Or maybe on some of those first few dates, you actually get offended. 436 00:24:34.460 --> 00:24:39.780 You get offended because there was always a ticking time bomb just sitting there waiting 437 00:24:39.940 --> 00:24:41.460 to be detonated. 438 00:24:41.460 --> 00:24:45.620 Can we just defuse the bombs before they go off? 439 00:24:45.620 --> 00:24:47.500 Can we just go ahead and do that? 440 00:24:47.500 --> 00:24:50.420 Because I really do believe that's the kind of season that God has called us into right 441 00:24:50.420 --> 00:24:52.420 now. 442 00:24:52.420 --> 00:24:59.620 The kind of season where he wants to teach us, show us, heal us, grow us. 443 00:24:59.620 --> 00:25:00.120 Now I had a... 444 00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:02.840 every right after this little offense that happened 445 00:25:02.840 --> 00:25:05.700 with these young people that I'm talking about, 446 00:25:05.700 --> 00:25:09.960 I could have held the line because I wasn't wrong. 447 00:25:11.860 --> 00:25:13.860 In my feelings, I wasn't wrong. 448 00:25:14.900 --> 00:25:17.580 And if I would have taken that situation 449 00:25:17.580 --> 00:25:21.860 to other older people, okay, people my age, 450 00:25:21.860 --> 00:25:23.220 and been like, what do you think of this? 451 00:25:23.220 --> 00:25:25.300 They'd be like, oh yeah, you're right, you're right. 452 00:25:25.300 --> 00:25:27.000 They're wrong, you're right. 453 00:25:27.000 --> 00:25:29.220 But you guys, when we get into a situation 454 00:25:29.300 --> 00:25:31.740 where it's like, who's right, who's wrong? 455 00:25:31.740 --> 00:25:33.660 Everyone is wrong. 456 00:25:33.660 --> 00:25:35.660 This is where we all lose. 457 00:25:35.660 --> 00:25:36.500 And you know why? 458 00:25:36.500 --> 00:25:40.420 Because they're triggering you for a reason. 459 00:25:40.420 --> 00:25:42.880 It doesn't mean that you have to be their best friend. 460 00:25:42.880 --> 00:25:44.380 It doesn't mean that you're gonna continue 461 00:25:44.380 --> 00:25:45.900 in relationship with them. 462 00:25:45.900 --> 00:25:49.060 But it does mean that God is trying to show you 463 00:25:49.060 --> 00:25:52.700 something about yourself in the scenario. 464 00:25:52.700 --> 00:25:54.660 And if you refuse to learn it, 465 00:25:54.660 --> 00:25:58.740 you're just gonna have to learn it some other time later. 466 00:26:02.620 --> 00:26:04.020 I wanna fall on the rock. 467 00:26:04.020 --> 00:26:05.580 I don't want the rock to fall on me. 468 00:26:05.580 --> 00:26:06.520 You have two choices. 469 00:26:06.520 --> 00:26:08.380 You either fall on the rock or the rock falls on you. 470 00:26:08.380 --> 00:26:10.300 I wanna fall on the rock. 471 00:26:10.300 --> 00:26:11.460 I'm that kind of person. 472 00:26:11.460 --> 00:26:14.020 Yeah, no, I'm not saying I won't be butthurt for a minute. 473 00:26:14.020 --> 00:26:15.840 I'm not saying that I'm not gonna be upset. 474 00:26:15.840 --> 00:26:17.300 I'm not saying that. 475 00:26:17.300 --> 00:26:21.380 But what I am saying is that really pretty quickly, 476 00:26:21.380 --> 00:26:23.120 probably within the first few hours, 477 00:26:23.120 --> 00:26:25.160 maybe definitely the first day, 478 00:26:25.160 --> 00:26:29.500 I'm gonna be like, ugh, I'm being a jerk. 479 00:26:31.320 --> 00:26:34.960 I'm gonna know that about myself very, very quickly. 480 00:26:34.960 --> 00:26:35.780 Why is that? 481 00:26:35.780 --> 00:26:38.320 Because I'm self-aware and I don't have to be right. 482 00:26:38.320 --> 00:26:40.520 My ego is not big. 483 00:26:40.520 --> 00:26:41.840 My ego is not big. 484 00:26:41.840 --> 00:26:43.060 Now, you guys, when you meet me, 485 00:26:43.060 --> 00:26:46.200 everything else about me is big, all right? 486 00:26:46.200 --> 00:26:48.640 I'm a very big person. 487 00:26:48.640 --> 00:26:50.880 I'm just tall and I'm broad-shouldered 488 00:26:50.880 --> 00:26:53.720 and I have a big personality and I have a loud voice. 489 00:26:53.720 --> 00:26:55.560 I'm big, okay? 490 00:26:55.560 --> 00:26:57.180 But my ego is not big. 491 00:26:58.680 --> 00:26:59.520 It isn't. 492 00:27:01.400 --> 00:27:02.240 It isn't. 493 00:27:02.240 --> 00:27:06.640 I have a heart of humility that really wants to please God. 494 00:27:07.800 --> 00:27:11.480 I have a heart of humility that really wants to love others. 495 00:27:12.960 --> 00:27:15.440 I have a very forgiving nature 496 00:27:15.440 --> 00:27:18.140 that really wants to meet people where they are. 497 00:27:21.880 --> 00:27:26.200 Now, I might get a little crusty in a moment 498 00:27:26.200 --> 00:27:27.640 and be a little offended, 499 00:27:27.640 --> 00:27:29.960 but it's not gonna stick. 500 00:27:29.960 --> 00:27:30.800 Because of why? 501 00:27:30.800 --> 00:27:32.640 Because I've done a lot of hard work. 502 00:27:32.640 --> 00:27:35.480 Lots and lots and lots and lots of it. 503 00:27:35.480 --> 00:27:37.120 And I believe that we are in a place 504 00:27:37.120 --> 00:27:39.480 where God wants to show us. 505 00:27:39.480 --> 00:27:41.920 And maybe being offended, being angry, being mad, 506 00:27:41.920 --> 00:27:43.800 being rejected, maybe that's not your jam. 507 00:27:43.800 --> 00:27:45.720 Maybe that's not what's going on here. 508 00:27:47.360 --> 00:27:48.680 Maybe you're the kind of person 509 00:27:48.720 --> 00:27:51.840 who feels like you have to do things perfectly all the time 510 00:27:51.840 --> 00:27:55.720 and you cannot handle any kind of input 511 00:27:55.720 --> 00:27:57.760 about not doing things perfectly. 512 00:27:57.760 --> 00:28:00.000 Maybe you're very defensive. 513 00:28:00.000 --> 00:28:02.040 Anybody else really defensive? 514 00:28:02.980 --> 00:28:05.080 Someone says, oh, hey, I didn't like it. 515 00:28:05.080 --> 00:28:06.140 I didn't do anything. 516 00:28:07.360 --> 00:28:08.320 I'm not. 517 00:28:08.320 --> 00:28:10.300 Because inside you're like, I'm not bad. 518 00:28:10.300 --> 00:28:11.400 I didn't do anything. 519 00:28:11.400 --> 00:28:12.520 I didn't hurt anyone. 520 00:28:13.760 --> 00:28:14.580 I did it right. 521 00:28:14.580 --> 00:28:15.420 I crossed my T's. 522 00:28:15.420 --> 00:28:16.380 I dotted my I's. 523 00:28:17.380 --> 00:28:18.460 I get up early in the morning 524 00:28:18.460 --> 00:28:20.180 to make sure that I don't disappoint anyone 525 00:28:20.180 --> 00:28:23.140 and I don't do anything wrong that could make anyone upset. 526 00:28:25.940 --> 00:28:28.340 Yeah, so I'm not defensive. 527 00:28:28.340 --> 00:28:30.780 I'm the most defensive voice that you've ever had. 528 00:28:32.420 --> 00:28:33.260 Right? 529 00:28:35.780 --> 00:28:39.660 And some of you, your toxic trait is, 530 00:28:39.660 --> 00:28:41.800 well, I'm just messy 531 00:28:41.800 --> 00:28:44.100 and you just either like me or you don't. 532 00:28:44.100 --> 00:28:45.940 Like you're not even trying to work on yourself. 533 00:28:46.460 --> 00:28:47.860 You're just like, you know what? 534 00:28:47.860 --> 00:28:49.740 If you don't love me on my worst day, 535 00:28:49.740 --> 00:28:52.820 then you don't deserve me on my best day. 536 00:28:52.820 --> 00:28:54.780 No, no, no, no, friends. 537 00:28:54.780 --> 00:28:57.740 Let's try to have some more best days, shall we? 538 00:28:57.740 --> 00:28:58.660 Shall we? 539 00:29:02.300 --> 00:29:04.260 All right, everyone has a toxic trait. 540 00:29:04.260 --> 00:29:05.220 Put it in the chat. 541 00:29:05.220 --> 00:29:07.260 What is, come on, get honest about yourself. 542 00:29:07.260 --> 00:29:09.820 What is your toxic trait 543 00:29:09.820 --> 00:29:12.980 that you know God may be knocking on your door 544 00:29:12.980 --> 00:29:14.840 to work on real soon? 545 00:29:16.140 --> 00:29:17.660 Come on. 546 00:29:17.660 --> 00:29:18.500 What is it? 547 00:29:23.660 --> 00:29:25.300 Danielle says she has two highest standards. 548 00:29:25.300 --> 00:29:26.580 You guys, those can become walls. 549 00:29:26.580 --> 00:29:28.300 It's not wrong 550 00:29:30.180 --> 00:29:32.500 to have some standards, y'all. 551 00:29:32.500 --> 00:29:34.540 But if no one can ever meet them, 552 00:29:34.540 --> 00:29:37.980 then you know that maybe they might be a defense mechanism. 553 00:29:37.980 --> 00:29:39.140 Holding in your anger. 554 00:29:39.140 --> 00:29:40.020 Oh, being passive. 555 00:29:40.020 --> 00:29:41.500 You guys, passive aggressiveness. 556 00:29:41.500 --> 00:29:42.340 Ooh. 557 00:29:42.660 --> 00:29:43.500 Ooh. 558 00:29:44.740 --> 00:29:48.300 Passive aggressiveness will get you in so much trouble. 559 00:29:50.940 --> 00:29:54.020 For me, I'm like, just be passive or just be aggressive, 560 00:29:54.020 --> 00:29:55.380 but choose one, please. 561 00:29:55.380 --> 00:29:56.260 People-pleasing. 562 00:29:56.260 --> 00:29:58.980 Oh, people-pleasing will get you in so much trouble. 563 00:29:58.980 --> 00:30:00.420 Some people say I'm lacking. 564 00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:08.520 boundaries. I got a bad attitude because I get insecure. Getting triggered by other 565 00:30:08.520 --> 00:30:13.760 people's relationships. Be like, girl, how are you gonna let him talk to you that 566 00:30:13.760 --> 00:30:17.000 way? It's like that's not even your relationship. You're over here getting 567 00:30:17.000 --> 00:30:20.000 triggered for somebody else. 568 00:30:23.680 --> 00:30:26.680 Come on, y'all. 569 00:30:26.680 --> 00:30:40.280 Oh, so sweet. Everyone's like, Jackie is really sweet and kind. Look, road rage. 570 00:30:40.280 --> 00:30:43.280 David Dorman has road rage. 571 00:30:47.680 --> 00:30:51.800 Come on, everyone reading them? I'm reading them. Always expecting the worst 572 00:30:51.800 --> 00:30:57.600 to happen, right? Being stuck in the negative, negative Nelly, hyper-aggressive, 573 00:30:57.600 --> 00:31:05.440 over-functioning. Look at these, you guys. I have trouble trusting lots of 574 00:31:05.440 --> 00:31:13.600 people saying I'm jealous, I'm insecure, I'm easily frustrated. I try to fix 575 00:31:13.600 --> 00:31:18.120 people. I try to make them perfect like me. I overachieve, I control. 576 00:31:22.000 --> 00:31:26.200 I have a hard time not being vulnerable. I'm too vulnerable. TMI, too much 577 00:31:26.200 --> 00:31:31.200 information. I scare people away with my neediness or my clinginess. 578 00:31:34.200 --> 00:31:39.880 Right, you guys. So many good ones in the chat. It's time for us to deal with this 579 00:31:39.880 --> 00:31:47.720 stuff. Yeah, it is true that you're not going to deal with all of it outside of 580 00:31:47.720 --> 00:31:51.600 relationship, meaning that that is where the healing is going to come. Remember 581 00:31:51.600 --> 00:31:56.800 our motto here at Last Year Single. Hurt in relationship, healed in relationship. 582 00:31:56.800 --> 00:32:00.760 Hurt in family, healed in family. For those of you that are divorced or 583 00:32:00.760 --> 00:32:05.800 widowed, hurt in marriage, healed in marriage. Hurt in friendship, healed in 584 00:32:05.800 --> 00:32:15.600 friendship, right? Yeah. Reconciled to God, ourselves, and others. That is the 585 00:32:15.600 --> 00:32:21.960 ministry of reconciliation. We're whole in Christ, complete in marriage, and 586 00:32:21.960 --> 00:32:25.640 healed in family. For those of you that are new, I'm just telling you all of our 587 00:32:25.640 --> 00:32:31.280 mantras here. By the way, you guys, I just found out about another success story. Now 588 00:32:31.280 --> 00:32:36.120 this girl was a boss babe. She was a boss babe. She was like, I can do it all by 589 00:32:36.120 --> 00:32:41.920 myself, woman, in her 50s, all right? And had never been married, wanted to be 590 00:32:41.960 --> 00:32:48.760 married. And she just was like, she thought that she was perfectly good. She 591 00:32:48.760 --> 00:32:53.640 thought she had done all the work. She didn't realize how rigid she was. And she 592 00:32:53.640 --> 00:32:59.680 did the heart work. She really took it to heart. Get it? There's the pun. And she 593 00:32:59.680 --> 00:33:05.880 really laid down some of those swords, laid down the, you know, let God take down 594 00:33:05.880 --> 00:33:09.440 some of those walls. And I'm happy to report that she's getting married, Labor 595 00:33:09.440 --> 00:33:15.120 Day weekend. And here's what's really interesting. You know who she's marrying? 596 00:33:15.600 --> 00:33:20.240 She's marrying someone that she didn't click with when she was Miss Boss Babe. 597 00:33:21.320 --> 00:33:26.560 That's right. She met this guy years ago. And they had a falling out because they 598 00:33:26.560 --> 00:33:32.160 both were stubborn and had heart work to do. And so they head butted. They had a 599 00:33:32.160 --> 00:33:36.560 lot of good things in the relationship, but they're both hard headed. Both wanted 600 00:33:36.560 --> 00:33:41.320 their own way. And so they just went their own ways. And then guess what? 601 00:33:41.320 --> 00:33:46.320 Circled back around. I wish I could say it was two or three years later, but we're 602 00:33:46.320 --> 00:33:51.480 talking 10, 15 years later, y'all. It's like, man, if we could just do this work, 603 00:33:51.480 --> 00:33:55.920 do we just not need to circle around the mountain 10 or 15 more years? Let's go. 604 00:33:57.800 --> 00:34:01.000 Could she have married someone else in that timeframe that liked her just the way 605 00:34:01.000 --> 00:34:05.880 she was and just could put up with her stubbornness and hardheadedness and Boss 606 00:34:05.880 --> 00:34:09.639 Babeness? Sure. But she went through a lot of healing. She went through a lot of 607 00:34:09.639 --> 00:34:13.120 things. She laid down a lot of stuff. And friends, we can make this last a long 608 00:34:13.120 --> 00:34:18.120 time where we can go on the short path. I really believe that. It doesn't have to 609 00:34:18.120 --> 00:34:23.120 take a long time. It's about how surrendered are you willing to be? How 610 00:34:23.120 --> 00:34:31.560 willing are you to look at the things that are keeping you in your prickly 611 00:34:32.120 --> 00:34:36.600 preparedness? For those of you that that put that in the chat, how willingly are 612 00:34:36.600 --> 00:34:40.480 you looking at your standards that are no longer standards, but now they're 613 00:34:40.480 --> 00:34:43.800 walls. How willing and how quickly are you willing to do this? Anyway, she's 614 00:34:43.800 --> 00:34:48.400 getting married because guess what? They circle back around. They ran back into 615 00:34:48.400 --> 00:34:52.880 each other. They both have softer hearts. They both have done a lot of work. And 616 00:34:52.880 --> 00:34:59.080 now here they are. That happens. Remember that full circle word for those of you 617 00:34:59.080 --> 00:35:00.040 that have been here for a while? 618 00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:06.560 God gave me a word for the singles that people are going to come full circle. 619 00:35:06.560 --> 00:35:12.960 And we've had numerous people in this community run back into someone that they knew before 620 00:35:12.960 --> 00:35:13.960 in whatever context. 621 00:35:13.960 --> 00:35:14.960 They used to work together. 622 00:35:14.960 --> 00:35:20.440 They used to go to school together, whatever, whatever, and now have married them. 623 00:35:20.440 --> 00:35:25.080 Went on one date with them, didn't like them on that first date. 624 00:35:25.080 --> 00:35:26.480 Never went on a second date. 625 00:35:26.480 --> 00:35:30.720 Went into them five years later, married them. 626 00:35:30.720 --> 00:35:34.120 And not because they settled, you guys, because they didn't really give them a chance. 627 00:35:34.120 --> 00:35:35.120 Why? 628 00:35:35.120 --> 00:35:36.240 Because they had walls up. 629 00:35:36.240 --> 00:35:44.240 One little thing triggered them and then they're like, no, I'm out. 630 00:35:44.240 --> 00:35:47.320 I'm out. 631 00:35:47.320 --> 00:35:49.160 Here's the fun thing, you guys. 632 00:35:49.160 --> 00:35:55.920 If you're willing to address your triggers and say, hey God, you can pray this crazy 633 00:35:55.920 --> 00:35:59.800 prayer. 634 00:35:59.800 --> 00:36:02.480 And for those of you that are still in the heart work phase, you can go get the book 635 00:36:02.480 --> 00:36:04.540 and you can do the permission slip. 636 00:36:04.540 --> 00:36:09.080 For those of you that are not in that, I really consider, I would really consider, you should 637 00:36:09.080 --> 00:36:14.400 consider going and looking at that permission slip and just getting fresh on it again and 638 00:36:14.400 --> 00:36:15.400 giving God permission. 639 00:36:15.400 --> 00:36:18.360 Because that's the crazy thing that I'm about to say. 640 00:36:18.360 --> 00:36:19.760 Teach me, show me, heal me, grow me. 641 00:36:19.760 --> 00:36:21.080 That's my favorite prayer. 642 00:36:21.080 --> 00:36:25.040 You can pray right after we get off this call and we can pray it on this call before we 643 00:36:25.040 --> 00:36:26.320 get off this call. 644 00:36:26.320 --> 00:36:32.440 You can ask God, hey, can you put me in some scenarios even this week that show me my triggers? 645 00:36:32.440 --> 00:36:39.360 Oh my God, Lord, you can put me in some scenarios even this week that show me where my heart 646 00:36:39.360 --> 00:36:40.360 is hard. 647 00:36:40.360 --> 00:36:42.520 Would anyone want to pray that with me? 648 00:36:42.520 --> 00:36:44.560 I mean, I'll do it too. 649 00:36:44.560 --> 00:36:47.520 You never outgrow this, you guys, even when you get married. 650 00:36:47.520 --> 00:36:52.920 Who is willing to pray and say, God, teach me, show me, heal me, grow me? 651 00:36:52.920 --> 00:36:58.240 Who is willing to say, God, can you put me on the fast track into seeing a couple of 652 00:36:58.240 --> 00:36:59.240 these things? 653 00:36:59.240 --> 00:37:02.520 Now, we're not asking for crazy things to happen. 654 00:37:02.520 --> 00:37:12.840 We're just asking to have some run-ins with some human beings that unearth some stuff 655 00:37:12.840 --> 00:37:22.240 that we've been medicating, insecurity, fear, judgmentalism, criticism, disappointment, 656 00:37:22.240 --> 00:37:23.240 discouragement. 657 00:37:23.240 --> 00:37:24.240 It doesn't matter what it is. 658 00:37:24.240 --> 00:37:28.320 And remember, friends, if you feel it this week, it's not because you're about to take 659 00:37:28.320 --> 00:37:32.280 up residence there like Mephibosheth at Lodabar. 660 00:37:32.280 --> 00:37:35.680 It's because God is showing you that it still lives inside of you. 661 00:37:35.680 --> 00:37:39.320 It's been hiding out in your heart. 662 00:37:39.320 --> 00:37:44.560 All it is is for you to address it and release it so you can move forward. 663 00:37:44.560 --> 00:37:47.080 Is that not exciting? 664 00:37:47.080 --> 00:37:50.080 You don't got to stay stuck here. 665 00:37:50.080 --> 00:37:56.440 You're not inviting God to take you and put you in traction for two years in some horrible 666 00:37:56.440 --> 00:37:59.000 situation. 667 00:37:59.000 --> 00:38:07.740 You're inviting him just to show you what's under the surface so you can defuse that bomb 668 00:38:08.020 --> 00:38:13.140 before it detonates two years into your marriage and blows things up. 669 00:38:13.140 --> 00:38:20.700 Because I promise you, you will not hide that crazy forever, even from yourself. 670 00:38:20.700 --> 00:38:26.420 A lot of people don't even know that that's what's in them until it gets triggered. 671 00:38:26.420 --> 00:38:28.420 So we're praying for triggers, you friends. 672 00:38:28.420 --> 00:38:31.740 I know that sounds a little crazy. 673 00:38:31.740 --> 00:38:35.260 We're praying that we would be triggered. 674 00:38:35.260 --> 00:38:42.620 Wouldn't we rather God do it, and we let God do it, low stakes than high stakes? 675 00:38:42.620 --> 00:38:48.580 Wouldn't you rather have it low stakes than high stakes? 676 00:38:48.580 --> 00:38:51.380 You know? 677 00:38:51.380 --> 00:38:56.100 Maybe this week you get a call from your mama or your daddy that's still alive, and you've 678 00:38:56.100 --> 00:38:59.820 just been loving them from a distance, but they say something that reminds you of why 679 00:38:59.820 --> 00:39:05.020 you're loving them from a distance, and that you got some unforgiveness in your heart 680 00:39:05.780 --> 00:39:06.780 towards them. 681 00:39:06.780 --> 00:39:14.060 I'm not saying that you're going to go move in next door so you guys can see each other 682 00:39:14.060 --> 00:39:21.460 every single day, but I am saying that there may be some things that you need to put on 683 00:39:21.460 --> 00:39:27.220 your list, put in your forgiveness template, and forgive. 684 00:39:27.220 --> 00:39:28.940 Rosanna's like, this prayer scares me. 685 00:39:28.940 --> 00:39:30.940 I want to pray this prayer. 686 00:39:30.940 --> 00:39:32.620 Raise your hand if you're with Rosanna. 687 00:39:32.620 --> 00:39:34.460 You're like, this prayer scares me. 688 00:39:34.500 --> 00:39:37.020 I'm not real sure if I want to pray it or not. 689 00:39:37.020 --> 00:39:43.180 Y'all, I don't know what you think God's going to do to you. 690 00:39:43.180 --> 00:39:45.460 He loves you. 691 00:39:45.460 --> 00:39:50.020 All you're doing is just asking for things to get sped up instead of waiting another 692 00:39:50.020 --> 00:39:59.900 six months to find out that you're very, very, very, very, very insecure still. 693 00:39:59.900 --> 00:40:00.900 But He loves you. 694 00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:02.000 getting six months into a relationship, 695 00:40:00.900 --> 00:40:01.900 He loves you. 696 00:40:01.900 --> 00:40:01.900 697 00:40:02.000 --> 00:40:05.080 wanting to check the man's phone every day. 698 00:40:07.440 --> 00:40:09.120 Oh, hey, I forgot my phone again. 699 00:40:09.120 --> 00:40:10.360 Can I see yours? 700 00:40:11.840 --> 00:40:13.200 You know what you're doing. 701 00:40:15.200 --> 00:40:17.360 And pretty soon he's gonna catch on. 702 00:40:17.360 --> 00:40:20.000 And let me tell you ladies something about men 703 00:40:20.000 --> 00:40:21.860 that are not doing anything bad. 704 00:40:23.360 --> 00:40:25.020 It gets a little old. 705 00:40:26.520 --> 00:40:28.160 He might have a little grace at first, 706 00:40:28.160 --> 00:40:31.120 but it gets a little old when you start accusing him 707 00:40:31.120 --> 00:40:32.640 of things he hasn't done. 708 00:40:32.640 --> 00:40:34.280 It's gonna get old pretty fast. 709 00:40:37.360 --> 00:40:40.800 So if you can't trust a man, let's find that out now 710 00:40:40.800 --> 00:40:42.080 and let's work on it. 711 00:40:42.080 --> 00:40:43.520 You're like, well, Jackie, I can't work on it 712 00:40:43.520 --> 00:40:46.800 until I have a really good man that earns my trust. 713 00:40:46.800 --> 00:40:49.240 No friend, that's not how it works. 714 00:40:53.640 --> 00:40:55.080 That's not how it works. 715 00:40:56.080 --> 00:40:58.680 Now there are men out there that would deal 716 00:40:58.680 --> 00:41:00.480 with your traumatized little booty 717 00:41:02.200 --> 00:41:04.480 and they will bring healing to you, 718 00:41:04.480 --> 00:41:05.960 but you gotta meet them halfway. 719 00:41:05.960 --> 00:41:07.800 Are you willing to meet them halfway? 720 00:41:09.400 --> 00:41:12.080 I'm distinctly talking to at least five of you right now 721 00:41:12.080 --> 00:41:14.920 because Holy Spirit's like, stay here, Jackie, stay here. 722 00:41:18.200 --> 00:41:21.240 Because she's gonna chase him away with her insecurity 723 00:41:21.240 --> 00:41:23.280 and with her lack of trust. 724 00:41:23.280 --> 00:41:26.960 She's gonna make him pay for something some other man did, 725 00:41:26.960 --> 00:41:30.200 even if it was your daddy who abandoned the family. 726 00:41:30.200 --> 00:41:31.520 Ladies, we can't do that. 727 00:41:33.400 --> 00:41:36.640 And gentlemen, just because that other woman rejected you, 728 00:41:36.640 --> 00:41:37.640 said you weren't good enough, 729 00:41:37.640 --> 00:41:39.120 didn't think you had a good enough job, 730 00:41:39.120 --> 00:41:40.880 didn't think you made enough money, 731 00:41:41.720 --> 00:41:44.040 didn't wanna see you on a second or third date, 732 00:41:44.040 --> 00:41:46.560 didn't like the restaurant you took her to, 733 00:41:46.560 --> 00:41:49.240 nagged you, criticized you, tried to fix you, 734 00:41:49.240 --> 00:41:52.320 even if it was your mama who was doing all that stuff, 735 00:41:53.600 --> 00:41:54.800 you gotta deal with that stuff 736 00:41:54.800 --> 00:41:56.480 before you think all women are nags, 737 00:41:56.480 --> 00:41:58.760 all women are criticizers and judges. 738 00:41:59.640 --> 00:42:01.200 Women are hard to please. 739 00:42:01.200 --> 00:42:03.400 In fact, they're impossible to please. 740 00:42:03.400 --> 00:42:05.400 You guys cannot step into relationships 741 00:42:05.400 --> 00:42:07.120 with these kinds of mindsets. 742 00:42:10.680 --> 00:42:13.200 And gentlemen, you also can't be like, 743 00:42:13.200 --> 00:42:15.280 I'm not good enough, I'm not ready, I'm not ready, 744 00:42:15.280 --> 00:42:17.880 I'm not ready, I'm not ready, I'm not ready. 745 00:42:17.880 --> 00:42:19.720 There's gotta be a point in time where you're just say, 746 00:42:19.720 --> 00:42:20.920 hey, you know what? 747 00:42:20.920 --> 00:42:22.720 I'm not perfect, but I'm ready. 748 00:42:24.280 --> 00:42:26.240 I'm not perfect, but I'm ready. 749 00:42:26.240 --> 00:42:28.560 And friends, do not hear today's Supernatural Saturday 750 00:42:28.560 --> 00:42:33.000 as you gotta get perfect in order to be ready. 751 00:42:33.000 --> 00:42:36.320 All God is inviting us into is looking at something 752 00:42:36.320 --> 00:42:40.800 that may cause you a big headache in a couple months 753 00:42:40.800 --> 00:42:43.320 when you're trying to go deeper into relationships. 754 00:42:44.760 --> 00:42:47.120 Wouldn't you love to just know the future 755 00:42:47.120 --> 00:42:48.560 and get a sneak preview? 756 00:42:48.600 --> 00:42:50.120 There isn't one person here 757 00:42:51.840 --> 00:42:55.640 that wouldn't go fix something 758 00:42:55.640 --> 00:42:57.400 if you were able to see the future 759 00:42:57.400 --> 00:42:59.240 and see how it affected you. 760 00:42:59.240 --> 00:43:01.760 There isn't one person here who wouldn't fix it now. 761 00:43:04.200 --> 00:43:05.760 God's not saying do this 762 00:43:05.760 --> 00:43:07.600 or you don't get into relationships. 763 00:43:07.600 --> 00:43:10.960 He's saying do this so that your relationships 764 00:43:10.960 --> 00:43:13.080 that are coming around the corner, 765 00:43:13.080 --> 00:43:14.360 that are coming to you, 766 00:43:14.360 --> 00:43:15.760 that are coming to you, 767 00:43:16.600 --> 00:43:19.040 that are coming around the corner, 768 00:43:19.040 --> 00:43:21.400 any minute now will just be better. 769 00:43:23.240 --> 00:43:24.640 Do you hear what I'm saying? 770 00:43:26.880 --> 00:43:28.080 They'll just be better. 771 00:43:29.120 --> 00:43:31.760 You know your toxic trait, you just admitted to it. 772 00:43:34.200 --> 00:43:36.400 Now, let me show you what's underneath it, 773 00:43:36.400 --> 00:43:40.040 what's behind it, what's the root of it. 774 00:43:41.960 --> 00:43:43.640 Let's pull it out together 775 00:43:44.640 --> 00:43:47.120 so that it doesn't have to keep sabotaging you. 776 00:43:52.120 --> 00:43:53.960 Guys, I know what I'm talking about. 777 00:43:54.960 --> 00:43:58.080 My lack of preparation did not stop David Dorman 778 00:43:58.080 --> 00:44:00.840 from showing up and moving in next door to me. 779 00:44:00.840 --> 00:44:03.080 It didn't stop us from getting married, 780 00:44:03.080 --> 00:44:04.400 but you know what it did do? 781 00:44:04.400 --> 00:44:06.520 It made the first two years super hard. 782 00:44:07.560 --> 00:44:09.920 I'm being honest with you now and you need to hear me. 783 00:44:09.920 --> 00:44:11.280 I'm going on 20 years of marriage. 784 00:44:11.280 --> 00:44:12.560 We didn't get divorced. 785 00:44:12.600 --> 00:44:13.720 We love each other. 786 00:44:13.720 --> 00:44:14.800 We're a great couple. 787 00:44:14.800 --> 00:44:16.360 We're an amazing couple. 788 00:44:16.360 --> 00:44:17.840 We raised an incredible family. 789 00:44:17.840 --> 00:44:19.800 We raised children that love us, 790 00:44:19.800 --> 00:44:21.640 that are like Velcro kids. 791 00:44:21.640 --> 00:44:22.560 We can't get rid of them. 792 00:44:22.560 --> 00:44:23.400 They love us. 793 00:44:23.400 --> 00:44:24.640 They want to hang out with us. 794 00:44:24.640 --> 00:44:25.480 They're married. 795 00:44:25.480 --> 00:44:26.320 They have their own families. 796 00:44:26.320 --> 00:44:27.880 We're like, hey, mom and dad, where are you doing? 797 00:44:27.880 --> 00:44:28.720 They look on their phone. 798 00:44:28.720 --> 00:44:30.120 You know, the Find My Friends app. 799 00:44:30.120 --> 00:44:31.200 They find out where we are 800 00:44:31.200 --> 00:44:35.760 and they come where we are unexpectedly and say, 801 00:44:35.760 --> 00:44:37.480 oh, saw you were having dinner together, 802 00:44:37.480 --> 00:44:39.040 thought we'd join in. 803 00:44:39.400 --> 00:44:41.600 May all of you have such children in your future 804 00:44:41.600 --> 00:44:44.120 because it's amazing and I love it. 805 00:44:44.120 --> 00:44:46.160 But the first two years of blending a family, 806 00:44:46.160 --> 00:44:48.160 cause there's a reason why blended rhymes with offended. 807 00:44:48.160 --> 00:44:49.720 Let me tell you that right now. 808 00:44:49.720 --> 00:44:52.400 Cause if you're offended and you get in a blended family, 809 00:44:52.400 --> 00:44:54.360 oh, you're going to be real offended. 810 00:44:55.880 --> 00:44:58.280 There's all kinds of triggers in a blended family. 811 00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:03.640 It's like walking through post-Vietnam. 812 00:45:03.640 --> 00:45:10.160 There's landmines buried everywhere that you forgot about. 813 00:45:10.160 --> 00:45:13.280 Every other week, I was stepping on one of those landmines and literally blowing my whole 814 00:45:13.280 --> 00:45:14.280 life up. 815 00:45:14.280 --> 00:45:20.160 Now, do you think, do you think if I would have known the heart work that I would have 816 00:45:20.160 --> 00:45:21.160 chosen? 817 00:45:21.160 --> 00:45:23.880 Because remember, this is where God taught me the heart work and that book that you have 818 00:45:23.880 --> 00:45:26.200 was built on what I'm talking about. 819 00:45:26.200 --> 00:45:29.480 So it's a good thing I did that so I could write the book on it. 820 00:45:29.480 --> 00:45:34.760 But here's the thing, do you think that if I was given a choice like you are right now 821 00:45:34.760 --> 00:45:44.120 to actually be shown what is going to affect my future relationships negatively, you don't 822 00:45:44.120 --> 00:45:47.720 think that I would have dealt with that? 823 00:45:47.720 --> 00:45:49.720 Yeah. 824 00:45:49.720 --> 00:45:51.720 And that is what God's doing today. 825 00:45:51.720 --> 00:46:01.360 He's saying, Hey, your wildest dreams are about to come true. 826 00:46:01.360 --> 00:46:08.600 But if you want it to be better, let's deal with this now. 827 00:46:08.600 --> 00:46:13.680 Let's look at this now. 828 00:46:13.680 --> 00:46:18.920 You guys, you don't have to be perfect to be worthy of love, but love will be a whole 829 00:46:18.920 --> 00:46:27.280 lot easier if you let God deal with some of this stuff. 830 00:46:27.280 --> 00:46:33.560 You don't have to have that big, huge fight in month two of dating and then cry yourself 831 00:46:33.560 --> 00:46:38.080 to sleep because you think that it's over and they're going to break up with you and 832 00:46:38.080 --> 00:46:43.920 you don't hear from them for several days and you're like, that's it, that's it. 833 00:46:43.920 --> 00:46:46.720 I chased them away, blah, blah, blah. 834 00:46:46.720 --> 00:46:47.720 That doesn't need to happen. 835 00:46:48.440 --> 00:46:57.360 I'm not saying it's going to be smooth sailing, but that, that one doesn't have to happen. 836 00:46:57.360 --> 00:47:02.160 You don't have to turn down the guy that's been divorced because you're insecure and 837 00:47:02.160 --> 00:47:05.440 you don't want no baby mama drama in your life. 838 00:47:05.440 --> 00:47:09.080 You don't have to turn down that great guy that's divorced, his wife left him because 839 00:47:09.080 --> 00:47:14.000 she's messed up, not because he was a bad husband. 840 00:47:14.000 --> 00:47:15.320 There's nothing he could do about it. 841 00:47:15.320 --> 00:47:20.280 You guys, people marry damaged people and then those bombs go off and they blow up marriages. 842 00:47:20.280 --> 00:47:24.680 That's what happens because that person never did their hard work, but you don't have to 843 00:47:24.680 --> 00:47:26.800 turn that guy down because you're like, Oh, he's divorced. 844 00:47:26.800 --> 00:47:31.840 There must be something wrong with them because you got insecurity because you don't want 845 00:47:31.840 --> 00:47:35.440 to be in a blended family because you don't know if you can deal with the jealousy of 846 00:47:35.440 --> 00:47:41.040 the fact that he had kids with someone else and that she's always going to be there, always 847 00:47:41.040 --> 00:47:44.440 going to be around somewhere. 848 00:47:44.440 --> 00:47:48.080 Can I tell you what I did last night? 849 00:47:48.080 --> 00:47:55.880 I went out to dinner, voluntarily planned it with my husband, David's former wife and 850 00:47:55.880 --> 00:48:02.960 her husband and hung out cause we're up in Ohio where we come from and had fun. 851 00:48:02.960 --> 00:48:06.640 And you know what I did with her the day before I went to the Ohio state fair with her the 852 00:48:06.640 --> 00:48:11.920 day before and hung out and ate fricking funnel cakes. 853 00:48:11.920 --> 00:48:12.920 Why? 854 00:48:12.920 --> 00:48:13.920 Why? 855 00:48:13.920 --> 00:48:19.760 Is it because I'm just the most amazing, secure person that ever walked the earth? 856 00:48:19.760 --> 00:48:21.320 No, no, no, no. 857 00:48:21.320 --> 00:48:27.200 When I married this man, I'm the same woman when I married him 20 years ago that went 858 00:48:27.200 --> 00:48:38.320 through his house and got every single thing that she ever purchased and sent it to Goodwill. 859 00:48:38.320 --> 00:48:41.880 I'm the same woman that went through his family photos. 860 00:48:41.880 --> 00:48:46.200 And if she was in any of them, even if they included the kids, I put them in a box and 861 00:48:46.200 --> 00:48:52.040 I sent them to her because, hey, you might want these pictures that you're in. 862 00:48:52.040 --> 00:48:58.560 But that wasn't the real reason. 863 00:48:58.560 --> 00:49:01.600 The real reason was I didn't want her up in my house. 864 00:49:01.600 --> 00:49:02.600 That's the real reason. 865 00:49:02.600 --> 00:49:03.600 Why? 866 00:49:03.600 --> 00:49:08.760 Because I didn't want to look at her face. 867 00:49:08.760 --> 00:49:11.920 That's my man. 868 00:49:11.920 --> 00:49:12.920 You left. 869 00:49:12.920 --> 00:49:13.920 You lost him. 870 00:49:13.920 --> 00:49:18.520 Too bad for you. 871 00:49:18.520 --> 00:49:20.120 Now it didn't take me 20 years to get here. 872 00:49:20.120 --> 00:49:21.120 You guys. 873 00:49:21.120 --> 00:49:23.700 It took me two years to get here, two. 874 00:49:23.700 --> 00:49:27.040 But the first two years were bad. 875 00:49:27.040 --> 00:49:29.440 They were bad. 876 00:49:29.440 --> 00:49:32.560 Your first two years don't need to be bad. 877 00:49:32.560 --> 00:49:35.400 They were hard. 878 00:49:35.400 --> 00:49:38.120 You guys have been waiting a real long time to get partnered. 879 00:49:38.120 --> 00:49:40.720 You've been waiting a real long time for your love stories. 880 00:49:40.720 --> 00:49:45.280 Do you want to get into your love story and have to deal with all this junk? 881 00:49:45.280 --> 00:49:46.280 You don't. 882 00:49:46.280 --> 00:49:47.280 I promise you that. 883 00:49:47.280 --> 00:49:48.280 So let's deal with the insecurities. 884 00:49:48.280 --> 00:49:49.280 Kim, were you being passive aggressive? 885 00:49:49.280 --> 00:49:50.280 No, I was just being aggressive. 886 00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:08.920 I don't know if it was even passive, okay. 887 00:50:08.920 --> 00:50:10.880 We don't have to be insecure friends. 888 00:50:10.880 --> 00:50:12.560 We don't have to be inferior. 889 00:50:12.560 --> 00:50:13.560 We don't have to be jealous. 890 00:50:13.560 --> 00:50:15.400 We don't have to be offended. 891 00:50:15.400 --> 00:50:17.260 We don't have to play victim. 892 00:50:17.260 --> 00:50:19.600 We don't have to be afraid. 893 00:50:19.600 --> 00:50:21.940 We don't have to be any of these things. 894 00:50:21.940 --> 00:50:23.760 So father, we are praying today. 895 00:50:23.760 --> 00:50:26.000 Don't pray it if you don't want it. 896 00:50:26.000 --> 00:50:29.040 Teach me, show me, heal me, grow me. 897 00:50:29.040 --> 00:50:35.760 Teach me, show me, show me myself, show me my heart. 898 00:50:35.760 --> 00:50:38.600 Show me what I'm medicating. 899 00:50:38.600 --> 00:50:45.400 Show me what I'm going to have to deal with in relationship if I don't deal with it now. 900 00:50:45.400 --> 00:50:52.680 Heal me in these deep places, in these traumas, in these rejections where I feel forgotten 901 00:50:52.680 --> 00:50:56.880 and abandoned, where I don't feel like I'm good enough, where I feel like I've been passed 902 00:50:56.880 --> 00:51:00.800 up and left behind. 903 00:51:00.800 --> 00:51:01.800 Grow me. 904 00:51:01.800 --> 00:51:04.880 Who wants an accelerated growth? 905 00:51:04.880 --> 00:51:10.240 Just you just want to just, whew, you want a growth spurt in a good way where you become 906 00:51:10.240 --> 00:51:16.120 just such a healthier and higher version of yourself. 907 00:51:16.120 --> 00:51:22.120 What might've taken you 20 years, God can do in two months in your life right now. 908 00:51:22.120 --> 00:51:23.120 Who wants that? 909 00:51:23.120 --> 00:51:24.120 Who wants that? 910 00:51:24.120 --> 00:51:25.120 Come on. 911 00:51:25.360 --> 00:51:26.360 Come on. 912 00:51:26.360 --> 00:51:28.640 I just released that over them right now, Father. 913 00:51:28.640 --> 00:51:31.200 You've done so much work in me in the last 20 years. 914 00:51:31.200 --> 00:51:36.420 I pray that they would have an acceleration of heartwork and acceleration of growth. 915 00:51:36.420 --> 00:51:40.640 They would be able to see clearly, God, not through the lens of offense, not through the 916 00:51:40.640 --> 00:51:45.940 root of bitterness, see clearly so that they can enjoy their relationships. 917 00:51:45.940 --> 00:51:47.880 They can enjoy their life. 918 00:51:47.880 --> 00:51:51.420 They can realize that they don't have to own other people's junk. 919 00:51:51.420 --> 00:51:53.180 They don't have to take that on. 920 00:51:53.180 --> 00:51:58.860 They can understand deeply in their spirit, in their heart, what real boundaries look 921 00:51:58.860 --> 00:51:59.860 like. 922 00:51:59.860 --> 00:52:00.860 Real boundaries are just identity. 923 00:52:00.860 --> 00:52:06.060 Lord, just give them an upgrade of identity so that they can have healthy boundaries with 924 00:52:06.060 --> 00:52:12.420 people, even broken people because everyone's broken in one way or another. 925 00:52:12.420 --> 00:52:16.540 And so Lord, we just thank you, God, that they'll never settle for something unhealthy 926 00:52:16.540 --> 00:52:21.060 after today because you're going to grow them up in those places where they over-function 927 00:52:21.060 --> 00:52:25.120 and those places where they settle for less than they deserve and the places where they 928 00:52:25.120 --> 00:52:30.800 put themselves in situations with people that have not done any work, that are not healthy, 929 00:52:30.800 --> 00:52:34.480 and they try to heal that person. 930 00:52:34.480 --> 00:52:38.720 They try to drag that person into their healing and into their victory. 931 00:52:38.720 --> 00:52:40.100 No more. 932 00:52:40.100 --> 00:52:46.420 The places where they avoid anyone who has anything that triggers them, Father, all of 933 00:52:46.420 --> 00:52:48.280 these things, Lord. 934 00:52:48.280 --> 00:52:53.880 Even this week, God, for those that are willing, let them see something that you want to reveal 935 00:52:53.880 --> 00:52:56.480 and heal. 936 00:52:56.480 --> 00:53:00.800 Let them see something that they are holding onto, harboring in their own personality, 937 00:53:00.800 --> 00:53:08.160 in their own heart, that you want to reveal and heal to get them ready for this beautiful 938 00:53:08.160 --> 00:53:13.800 season of relationship, friendship, community, and love. 939 00:53:14.780 --> 00:53:15.780 Yes, Lord. 940 00:53:15.780 --> 00:53:16.780 Yes, Lord. 941 00:53:16.780 --> 00:53:17.780 Yes, yes, Lord. 942 00:53:17.780 --> 00:53:18.780 Amen. 943 00:53:21.780 --> 00:53:22.780 Come on, y'all. 944 00:53:22.780 --> 00:53:23.780 It's beautiful. 945 00:53:23.780 --> 00:53:32.460 Just looking through your faces right now, so many beautiful, wonderful future husbands 946 00:53:32.460 --> 00:53:52.760 and wives, future best friends, future leaders, future bonus moms, bonus dads. 947 00:53:52.760 --> 00:53:58.240 So many beautiful, wonderful people ready for love. 948 00:53:58.240 --> 00:54:01.000 All right. 949 00:54:01.000 --> 00:54:02.000 Who prayed that prayer? 950 00:54:02.000 --> 00:54:04.980 Let's see it in the chat. 951 00:54:04.980 --> 00:54:05.980 Say yes, Lord. 952 00:54:05.980 --> 00:54:06.980 Come on. 953 00:54:06.980 --> 00:54:18.060 It's not a fun one, you guys, but I promise you it's worth it. 954 00:54:18.060 --> 00:54:24.660 It might hurt a little tiny bit right now when God reveals it and heals it, but I promise 955 00:54:24.660 --> 00:54:28.260 you it'll hurt a whole lot worse later. 956 00:54:28.260 --> 00:54:31.640 All right. 957 00:54:31.640 --> 00:54:35.460 This is one that we want you guys to keep us posted on. 958 00:54:35.460 --> 00:54:42.940 So in your groups, whatever group you're in, let us know what gets triggered this coming 959 00:54:42.940 --> 00:54:43.940 week. 960 00:54:43.940 --> 00:54:49.340 Let us know what comes up, what gets revealed, what gets healed, what memory you start thinking 961 00:54:49.340 --> 00:54:55.060 about that's offending you still, what person comes up in your heart that you're like, man, 962 00:54:55.060 --> 00:54:56.460 I really need to forgive them. 963 00:54:56.460 --> 00:54:59.980 I thought I did forgive them, but I realized that I really dislike them. 964 00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:05.400 I really feel very, very upset about what they did to me still. 965 00:55:05.400 --> 00:55:10.840 All of those feelings might be something that happens. 966 00:55:10.840 --> 00:55:11.840 Come on, y'all. 967 00:55:11.840 --> 00:55:14.760 We can't change other people, but we can let God change us. 968 00:55:14.760 --> 00:55:20.800 All right, friends, thank you so much for joining me. 969 00:55:20.800 --> 00:55:23.000 I'm going to go and love on my mother-in-law. 970 00:55:23.000 --> 00:55:24.280 She has a test on Monday. 971 00:55:24.280 --> 00:55:25.600 Please keep us in prayer. 972 00:55:25.600 --> 00:55:28.400 We're expecting good reports, and we'll see you soon. 973 00:55:28.400 --> 00:55:28.900 Bye, everyone.