Hi. I was behind the scenes there. I was actually getting a cup of tea real quick. I'm still
getting over being sick. If you can continue, ladies, as we ask you all during prayer, if
you all have joined that, be praying for Jackie and David and the team, all of our volunteers.
A lot of us are getting hit pretty hard. Just a lot of spiritual warfare happening. And
I've been sick now. I think I'm on day 14, and I'm probably going to have to go to the
doctor because it's just not going away. So prayers for myself and the team. But if you
haven't met me before, I'm Bethany Cooper. Welcome. Any of you joining for the first
time tonight? If so, put that in the chat for us. We would love to welcome you. All
of my other ladies joining again, welcome back. We're so glad to have you joining us
again. I love seeing so many of you on screen already. Way to go on that. You guys don't
know. Ladies, if you don't know, we do encourage you to come on screen as much as you can
during the heartwork. It's more about showing up for yourself than it is about us. But I
can tell you just from my experience as a coach doing this for over five years now, it
brings a different level of connection when you can see me and I can see you as a coach
and the other ladies as well. Because you know what? You all are like sister squad
together. That's something we talk about in this community. Even though some of you came
in at different times and you're going into different phases at different times, the
fact that you're all here right now at this time tonight is appointed by the Lord for
all of you. And so you might start to get to know some of your sisters now when you go
into breakout sessions or seeing each other in the, you know, in the group when you're
posting and you're going to learn about each other. And you guys can, if you want to
choose to go into the other phases, you will find that you can track with your sisters
there. Some of you might end up being bridesmaids in each other's weddings and all
of the things. You all will meet Carla Johnson, who is one of our coaches in phase two.
When she got married, I was a bridesmaid in her wedding. And so that's just kind of some
of the things that happened here around last year's single. That might be you. You might
be the bride at some point, which we believe. And you might be inviting some of the
sisters that you've met in this community on that journey as well. And so, you know,
what we put into it is what we get out of it, ladies. OK, that's with the coursework.
That's with, you know, connecting with people. Oh, Deborah. Oh, that's awesome. I love
that. Carla's amazing. Betsy, welcome for your first time. Anyone else knew the first
time? OK, awesome. I think that's everybody. But yeah, so just kind of lean into this as
much as you can. OK, so glean as much as you can. Lean into it as much as you can. Cheer
each other on. Remember that you don't ever have to put on your coaching, advising or
counseling hats because you all are here to receive. Myself, Andrea Jezelnik and Kelly
Stotler are the coaches in our HeartWork community. In this group that you're in right
now, in this phase, you will see me throughout the program. So I do things in pretty much
every phase of the community. And so just know we're praying for you. We believe for
you. And so know that you can borrow from our faith, but also you have to at some point
choose to partner with God for yourself. So that's super important. A couple really quick
other housekeeping items. Best practices. We talked about it a little bit last week.
If you were not here, totally OK. But one of the things is we recommend that you press
pause on dating, trying to meet guys, romantically connecting with guys even in public when you're
in the HeartWork phase. OK, a lot of reasons for it. But most people that end up dating
someone when they're in the HeartWork, because this will happen, the enemy will send people
to you and you will think, oh, my gosh, this is the guy I've been waiting for forever.
Legit. Can't tell you how much this happens. And you know what happens typically? Very
small percentage of people actually meet someone that they end up doing life with. Most of
those people get sidetracked from their life, their HeartWork, end up getting caught in
a relationship that ends up hurting them more. And so I love you enough to tell you
on the front end, please don't do that. We can't police you. You're going to do whatever
you choose to do. But I promise you, if you will listen to that guidance, it will serve
you so well. Because if you if you lean into panic like, oh, my gosh.
You know, I might lose this guy if I actually don't date him,
instead of just saying, hey, you seem like a really nice person.
I'm in a really important heart work healing journey,
and I need to stay focused on that.
You know, we can kind of circle back after that,
but for now, I'm going to focus on this.
If he's a really good guy, he's going to honor that.
He's going to think that's awesome.
If he's not, he's going to try to push boundaries,
push boundaries, push boundaries,
and that should be a flag to you.
But also, we have to look at what's going on inside of us.
If we lean into panic and fear of like,
oh my gosh, I might lose this person,
or what if this is the one?
Y'all, there are multiple men
that you could actually do life with.
I know this is hard for a lot of people.
This was really hard for me when I went through this.
That would literally be a good match for you, for life, okay?
There are plenty of men out there.
You don't need to panic.
Focus on your heart work.
Stay in the lane that you're in.
God brought you here for a purpose,
and he wants to set you up for success.
A lot of people that try to date
when they're in the heart work
pick through their counterfeit identities
and end up not choosing well.
So that's best practice number one.
Number two is we recommend at least,
like kind of in this framework,
one week of content per week,
and I shouldn't say at least,
one week of content per week.
For some of you, you're gonna go slower, and that's okay.
For some of you, please don't go faster.
We don't want you to go faster.
We want one week of content per week.
We want you to give yourself time to process,
and I get this a lot.
I get people that will be like,
well, I've already done a lot of healing.
This is the same stuff I've learned other.
We literally have people tell us that.
I don't believe that for a second, okay?
People that are trying to fly through,
y'all, here's another guardrail.
I can't tell you how many of them have had to come back
a year or two later to do the heartwork again, okay?
So please hear me.
This isn't to hold you back.
This is to set you up for success, okay?
So one week of content per week.
If you go slower, that's totally fine.
Now, if you are someone that's in the course
and you're here for a really long time,
some of my ladies know, it's okay if you are,
but if I notice that you're in here
for like one year or longer,
I'm gonna be lovingly nudging you to get out of the nest,
but to finish your heartwork before you do that.
So we gotta get to the root
of what causes us to get distracted.
Are we afraid to move forward?
Like what is causing us to not finish the heartwork well
and move on?
So we gotta look at all those things.
Now, again, I circle back to the one caveat
is some people have been through so much trauma
that they do need extra time in here.
And that is something that we are open to,
but again, we're gonna lovingly nudge you to move forward
because hurt in relationship healed in relationship.
When you start interacting and trying to date,
it's gonna bring additional things up for healing
that are gonna be really important to your process.
And some of you, it's even trying to make friends.
Is that landing for anyone?
Yeah.
So many people have hard time hanging on
to healthy relationships in general.
So any way that you can practice that in this timeframe
and not the dating, but the practicing making friends,
interacting with women,
if you have a hard time interacting with women,
whatever that looks like for you
that you would allow God to use this time
to bring up as Jackie talked about on Supernatural Saturday,
diffusing the triggers.
What are the triggers?
So for some of you, again, you're like,
singleness is the way to go.
Why?
Because you live by yourself, most of you,
and it is easier in our minds,
but wait until we meet someone and then have to interact.
It's a whole different story.
So last one, take extra time to rest during the heartwork.
It's really important, ladies, okay?
So you might feel tired.
You might need extra rest, drink a lot of water,
eat healthy food, really fuel your body.
It's super important to even get out and do a walk,
get the movement and the toxins out of your body,
because when we do heartwork, here's what happens.
Toxins get released into our system
from the trauma that's been stored up.
So I highly recommend, again, lots and lots of water,
extra rest, detox tea can be your friend as well.
And so I don't really ever talk specifics
on what kind or anything,
but I'm just saying that's something
that I found to be really helpful.
All right, let me pray for us.
Father, thank you so much for this night.
We thank you for everything that you're doing.
God, I thank you for every page that's been read,
every video that's been watched.
I pray that you would just bring supernatural revelation
and breakthrough a little bit more.
or tonight, help us to hear what your Spirit is saying.
Lord, help us not to get ahead of you.
Help us to not be behind you.
Help us to walk right in step with you.
We thank you, Jesus and God the Father,
that you sent the Holy Spirit to be our comforter,
our counselor, our guide.
And I thank you, Holy Spirit, for being here tonight,
that you're walking with us even now,
that you're gonna help me to hear
what you want me to say as the coach
and that you'll help them to hear what your Spirit is saying
to bring the revealings for healing,
that you would bring those things
out of darkness into the light.
God, we ask for dots to be connected in the spirit realm,
that thoughts and memories would start to surface,
even as I'm praying now, God,
that things would start to come together,
that they would have revelation and insight from heaven
as they are here tonight,
as they're working on their heartwork.
God, that you would just fill up their hope tanks.
Where the hope has been deferred,
God, we ask you to breathe fresh hope into them.
In Jesus' name, amen.
So I sound out of breath, I feel like,
even as I'm trying to pray, so I apologize for that.
It's like I'm trying to run a race
while I'm coaching here a little bit tonight,
but it's just because of, I think, all the congestion.
So I apologize if that sounds a little funny on your end.
All right, so tonight I'm super excited
to walk through the revealing for healing cycle
with you all.
Yeah, Danielle says she's been feeling tired.
And Linda says, that's what's been going on with me, yes.
Yes, yes, yes.
And so as we're talking about
the revealing for healing cycle,
this is, I'm gonna bring it up on the screen for you all
in just a minute here,
but I wanna see you just for a second.
So what we believe,
when we lead you all through the heartwork,
we don't believe this is just a phase of your life
to walk away from and just be done with, okay?
What we're giving you are actual signs
and what we're giving you are actual tools
for your tool belt.
If you desire to use them that way,
they will serve you for a really long time.
So when you go through stuff
and you might not know how to process it,
this revealing for healing cycle is one of those tools
that's gonna serve you, okay?
On that note, let me bring this up on the screen.
And if you guys have questions, you can put them in the chat.
When I'm screen sharing, I can't see them as easily,
but when I come, when I stop screen share,
can you all see that?
Okay, cool.
Then I can come back and answer those, all right?
Let me just make this a little smaller there.
Okay, so typically we encourage everyone
to kind of start in the negative emotions area.
And so that's where I'm gonna start tonight.
But what I want you to hear
is that not everybody knows what the negative emotion is.
You might know what the trauma story is.
You might know what the lie is that you're believing.
And so no matter what is going on inside of you,
this can help you know, okay, do I need to work forward?
Do I need to work backwards
to unpack this a little bit more?
So for example, I'm gonna start in the negative emotions.
That's the pink circle there.
I'm gonna give you some examples from my own life.
Again, you're gonna be asking the Lord
to reveal things to you about your life.
But I hope that this will help you learn
how to unpack this a little bit more.
One of the biggest questions I get
is what's the difference between painful memory
and a trauma story?
And so I'm gonna answer that
from my perspective for you tonight as well.
So the negative emotion for me was fear, okay?
I battled a lot of fear as a kid, as a young adult,
like massive, running from the dark,
I'm afraid people were looking in the windows,
like all kinds of stuff.
But more specifically, the one I'm gonna address tonight
is fear around men, okay?
So it wasn't just fear,
I'm gonna even dial in a little bit more,
it's fear around men.
Then I move on to the painful memory.
And for me, from my perspective,
the painful memory is kinda like an overarching memory, okay?
It's more of the general memory.
So I wrote abused by men.
So again, there's that generality to it, okay?
But the trauma story are the little stories
or the other stories that kind of, you know,
if you will, streak off of that generalized memory.
Does that make sense, everyone?
Is everyone tracking with me?
Okay, I'm just making sure.
All right, so for example,
I feel like God has led me to, in my trauma stories,
get more specific where the painful memory, again,
is the main thing that those are all connected to.
So my painful memory was abused by men.
Here are some of my trauma stories
that are connected.
directly to that. I was sexually abused by my brothers and my sister, emotional, mental
and spiritual abuse by my ex-husband. I was in high school. I have a couple other memories
that all kind of relate back to this stuff. In high school, well, no, I'm sorry, this
was elementary school, my sister and I went to this house with my mom, friends of hers,
I think, but I don't know how well she knew them. I felt like we were there for a home
interiors party. And all the kids were sent upstairs to play, which, you know, cool, that's
a normal thing. But there was this one boy there that was kind of aggressive towards
the girls. And this boy, I remember, and some of this is so faint, you all I've had to piece
this together for years. Okay, so back in the day, I didn't remember this whole thing
together. And that might be the case for some of you. And I really want to encourage you
to extend a lot of grace towards yourself, because this is where it's really important
for you to not dig. Revealing for healing means we're asking the Lord, and we're allowing
him to reveal it in the timing that is good for us, which is him revealing it to us. Okay.
But he literally like got all the other kids out. And then he put a dresser in front of
the door to try to lock me in this room with him. Thankfully, my sister was really strong.
And she like plowed the door down you all. And I got out of there. And I remember we
ran down the stairs. And I don't have a clue what happened after that. I do vaguely remember
telling my mom something, but that's it. That's all I remember. Then in high school,
I'm at this party with my friends, and we're all hanging out. And people were playing truth
or dare. And, you know, of course, even when I didn't want to see this as a thing, I did
things I didn't even want to do because I was trying to fit in as a kid. And because
I had all this trauma, I already felt like I was an outsider internally, even though
people didn't even know a lot of it. And so my friend, we were I thought she was going
to the bathroom with me, like not in a weird way you all but like to hang out, we were
playing this game. We were talking and we were going to the bathroom and then she shoved
this ball down my shirt and pushed me in the bathroom. And the next thing I knew is one
of the boys we went to high school with came in the bathroom. Well, he was given the dare
to get the ball. Okay. I freak out. Totally triggered. He was an he was actually kind
of a nice boy, but I was totally triggered. I did not want him getting in my shirt the
whole nine yards y'all. So I'm like panicking and I'm like pulling on the door to get out.
And my friends on the other side, thinking it's funny, holding the door closed. Very
traumatic experience for me. Okay. So the reason I tell you things these things isn't
I don't deal with the trauma of these anymore. These do not hurt me anymore. But these are
all again, just some I have a lot more you all but these are just some of the stories
that connect to the main painful memory abused by men. Okay, then I go on to so I've already
walked you through my negative emotions, my painful memory, the trauma stories now and
that lies believed are revealed. So some of the lies that I believed as a result of these
things happening is all men are abusive. All men are abusive. It didn't even matter.
My grandfather was a really good man. But it turned into all men are abusive. And number
two lies I need to be afraid of men. Those were two big lies that I've had to work through
over the years. And so what we encourage you to do is when the lies are revealed, that's
where we lean into the Lord for healing. And one of the ways that you guys can work
through this, this is why we have this on here. A lot of people will work through healing,
but they'll stop at the lies revealed. But they don't go all the way through to the okay
God revealing the truth. So some of the truths that God revealed to me are this. You don't
have to fear or be afraid. Isaiah 4110. So do not fear for I am with you do not be dismayed
for I am your God, I will strengthen you and help you and I will uphold you with my
righteous right hand. A lot of people will at this moment, I'm going to stop screen share
kind of struggle with the okay, well, then why did God not protect me? Okay, if God is
good, y'all I wrestled with that years ago as well. Here's the reality God is good. He
is so good that he gives everyone free choice, free will to choose.
And he will not override that because of his goodness.
Unfortunately, people choose to do bad things.
That's, that's, that's literally the reality of the situation,
okay. And so if we will really lean into that, and stop blaming
God for everything that has happened to us, we will be able
to heal and move forward. And a lot of people, if you're still
struggling with us totally have a lot of grace for you, because
I know it's hard. I know it is. But I will tell you that when I
really leaned into that, and started saying, Okay, God, show
me how you were there protecting me. And I started asking him to
show me those things. Show me where Jesus was at in this
situation when this happened. And Jesus starts revealing
himself in those hard moments. Y'all literally Jesus revealed
himself to me. And one of the memories I have of my oldest
brother sexually abusing me. And it set me free. So I
believe God wants to show you those things as well. But we
have to ask him these good questions. And he will help you
he will comfort you. He's not mad at you because you've been
mad at him. You know, whatever that looks like or sounds like
for you. I just want you to know I've processed all of those
things. I was mad at God and I blamed him for years. But then
when I healed and I learned the truth, the truth is what sets
us free. Okay, lie or the truth number two that was revealed to
me as I can trust God to protect me. Psalm 121, seven through
eight, the Lord will keep you from all harm, he will watch
over your life, the Lord will watch over your coming and
going both now and forevermore. And again, in those moments,
unfortunately, man chose to do some things that were really
unhealthy and destructive. But God has literally been working
behind the scenes to piece my life back together, heal me,
restore me rebuild things to bring restitution where the
enemy the locust has eaten and the moth has destroyed. I mean,
I literally feel like I live a totally and completely different
life y'all. Is my life perfect and easy? No, I'm in ministry
y'all. There's warfare all the time. But you know what God is
good, even when the the people that the enemy is using to rise
up against us are making really unhealthy choices, even as
adults, we go through betrayal, right? We go through hard
things. But now as an adult, when I go through hard things,
praise the Lord that I have the truth. Because when I get
triggered, and I recognize Oh, wait a minute, the enemy is
trying to get me to believe that God has abandoned us. I can catch
that stuff so much quicker now. And so when the Bible talks
about taking every thought captive, and making an obedient
to Jesus Christ, for years, I've added in help me Lord to
take every thought captive quickly. Lord, as soon as it
comes, help me not even to think on those things that are not
true, and cast those things down and make them obedient to Jesus
Christ. And so really important to be thinking about these
things praying about them. And yeah, sometimes that can happen
Deborah, are you saying because you're leaning into healing and
that's happening? You can put that in the chat for me. But one
of the things to remember is our heart is a womb, okay, WOMB. So
everything that goes in is going to get reproduced. So we can
either allow good stuff in there to produce good things, or we
can allow bad stuff to stay in there. And then it produces not
good stuff. So what are we allowing to get planted into our
hearts? What lies are down in there in our subconscious from
the past from wounds and things that we've been through, that the
Lord wants to use this revealing for healing cycle, the heartwork
journey, and in everything y'all are processing, so that you can
literally be in a supernatural way catapulted forward into the
fullness of who God originally created you to be. Because y'all
he's waiting with you. He's gone before you see, this is the cool
thing about God. He's omnipresent. So he's he
literally can be everywhere. He's gone before you. He's
behind you. And he's walking right with you. He will not fail
you. If you believe he's failed you in the past. As soon as I
said that you'll be like, yeah, well, he's failed me before. No
shame in that that was your thought. I'm saying it because I
heard it in the spirit. So the Lord doesn't want you to stay
there if that's you. If you believe the lie that God failed
you before, I really want to encourage you to ask the Lord to
reveal the first time you partnered with that lie. And as
he reveals, you know, whatever memories start to percolate, I
always encourage you all to
Like pull the thread.
If there's something that you don't even know
why it's coming up, you're thinking,
I don't even think I was upset about this thing.
Don't dismiss that stuff.
There's a reason it's coming up
because it might be linked to another memory
that's about to surface.
So ask God really good questions.
Lord, why is this memory coming up?
What are you trying to show me?
Is there anything you want me to know about this?
What lies do I believe as a result of it if it's trauma?
Okay?
The one thing that comes to mind,
and I feel led to share this.
So I don't even know how long ago it's been now,
but one of the ladies that has gone through the program,
one of the memories that came up for her
was she was on the playground playing.
And I can't remember if it was that
kids never would play with her on the playground
or if she was gonna go down the slide
and people cut her off.
I can't remember exactly,
but I just remember it was kind of revolved
around this playground stuff incident.
And she didn't understand why it was coming up.
And so I just encouraged her.
There were a couple of questions the Lord led me to ask her.
Y'all, as she prayed into it,
it led all the way back to, at one point they moved
and she lost friends and went through abandonment issues,
but then it also led to some stuff with her uncle.
If she, you know, I believe God would have still revealed
that to her in another way at some point,
but it started with this playground memory.
And so that's why I'm saying to you,
it's important even if you don't understand it,
even if you think it's simple,
don't dismiss anything in this season, okay?
And then we're hopefully gonna be able to teach you also
to discern between, is this God?
Is this like God's voice, my voice,
or the voice of the enemy?
So by the time you leave HeartWork,
I hope that you've kind of honed in on that a little more,
at least grown in that even more.
And some of you, you might feel like,
man, I'm strong in that now, but I promise you,
if you will ask for more of that, more wisdom,
you know, Solomon asked out of all the things
he could have asked for, he asked for wisdom.
And so for me, I ask for wisdom and discernment all the time
because I feel like I can always grow in those things.
And so I wanna encourage y'all to pray the same thing
and to really lean into what the Holy Spirit
is revealing to you.
And somebody came in the group, I think last week,
and I don't remember if it was this group.
Again, I serve in multiple groups,
but I was like, hey, that I don't think is from the Lord.
I think that was from the enemy.
And just trying to help them discern those things.
And so we will help you do that if you need help with that.
So think about what is currently being planted
in your heart.
Again, what are the lies that tend to surface
when you go through hard things?
Anything, it could be something small
that just triggers you,
like somebody cuts you off in traffic.
Somebody's mean to you in the store.
Somebody bumps into you and they don't even apologize.
And just whatever kind of happens in life
that is triggering things in you.
I'm not saying you shouldn't be,
I'm not saying it's wrong for us to be frustrated
if somebody literally runs into us and doesn't apologize.
We all, I think, feel bad in our humanness.
But what I am saying,
what are the lies that surface when these things happen?
That we believe about ourselves or other people or God.
Okay, so really be paying attention.
What type of fruit is getting produced from your life,
from your heart?
Are you bitter a lot?
Are you offended easily?
Do you get really angry, very short fuse?
Do you withdraw and isolate?
Do you go into self-pity?
Maybe you're a really happy person too,
but then you get really depressed.
You know, what are those things
that are getting produced out of your heart in life?
So God's standard of good is very different
than our standard of good.
And this is, Jackie talks about this in the heart work book.
I'm just gonna read real quick
something that she says on that note.
She said, God uses the word good.
He isn't talking about our human standard of good.
He's referring to his standard of good.
So maybe you do have a little something working out,
but is it God's version of good yet?
Probably not, and that's why you're here.
We want more.
Most of us have a tendency to live in crisis mode,
only focusing on the areas that are a complete train wreck
and not realizing there's an upgrade available
in every area of your life.
If we are willing to be shown what we cannot see yet.
Do you want an upgrade in every area of your life?
Because God wants to give it to you.
So remember, the spirit made is the cherry on top.
Go for the upgrade in every area.
You will not regret it.
Praying and asking God to give that to you
and to help you.
understand what is holding you back. Even recently, just
processing some things with Jackie, I think I told you guys
last week on my book and kind of just what is holding me back and
things and self sabotage behaviors that are happening
getting sick repeatedly, you know, whatever. And she said to
me, Do your fingers still work when you're sick on the couch?
And I was like, Oh, no. Yes, they do. Now, I don't think it's
clear. And I'm not as creative. But here's the thing, she was
trying to get me to just work on 10 minutes a day, writing
doesn't even have to be amazing. Just right. She said, Bethany,
just right. And so for whoever that's for, sometimes we are
saying we can't do things for different reasons. But really,
it's the enemy holding us back. And we're allowing him to
because of something we actually believe internally.
Okay, so what are you believing internally that is not true and
does not align with what heaven has to say about you and your
life. Your problem areas that you're facing and have faced in
your life are the places that you tend to have the most
unhealed wounds. So if you tend to go around the same mountain
over and over, if you will, or like me in the past, I kept
choosing really unhealthy men, takers, takers, takers and
friends, narcissists, people that operated in narcissistic
tendencies and sociopathic things. Like I attracted men and
women like that. Part of the reason is because my mom and dad
were both like that. Now, one of the things that we do in this
community is we really encourage you to not and I caught myself
there almost did it to not label people. Okay. So for
example, I don't label my spiritual daughter's dad is a
cheater, even though he did cheat on me and betrayed me. I
don't label him as a narcissist or sociopath. I say he operates
in narcissistic tendencies and sociopathic ways. There's a
difference you all I don't want people to label me or my
identity by my failures. And I don't want to be a part of doing
that to other people. But you know what, before I came into
this healing community, even even when I didn't mean to, I
was still doing that. Like my dad was a liar and a cheater.
And I I said it in my mind a lot about my dad. And so really be
willing to be 100% honest with yourself and with the Lord,
because he wants to lead you out of the prison where you've been
staying. And maybe even again, maybe it's just a subconscious
thing that you have not been aware of. But the prison gates
are open. They're not closed, because he's already opened
them. But the way that we think and live and move and have our
being. Sometimes it's not in him. Sometimes it's us in the
prison, believe in all the lies and the garbage and kind of like
the prodigal son, you know, when he was with the pigs, and he
believed that he just would have to eat like the pigs. Well, that
was because he had made mistakes. He squandered what was
given to him. And because of that, he believed that that's
what he deserved. Until one day he got a revelation that even
the slaves lived better than that in his father's house. And
so he heads home to what happens, ladies. The father sees
him afar off and runs to him. But you know what else he does?
He brings a robe and a ring, a signet ring. If y'all don't know
back in that time, the signet ring, huge. Fathers never ran to
their sons like that. This is a divine demonstration of Father
God's love towards us, no matter what we've done in the
past, no matter how many mistakes we've made. That is his
heart towards us. He is saying to you, you are my daughter, you
are my beloved, I love you, and I will robe you and I will put
the ring on you. And I call you mine. He loves us
unconditionally, ladies. Without condition. So I want you
to think about this. Proverbs 23.7 in the Amplified Version
says, for as a person thinks in his heart, so is he. So what are
you thinking in your heart about yourself? About your future?
What are you thinking about your past mistakes? What is the
viewpoint you have of yourself? Or even other people in the past
mistakes they've, you know, done against you?
Y'all, I've been able to love, genuinely, my best friend's son who abused his little
cousin.
Sorry, my best friend's nephew.
Sorry, that was confusing.
And I was like his advocate.
I never thought of him as like my brothers.
Even though, now again, I think sometimes what the enemy loves to do too is people will
like downplay the abuse that happened to them.
They'll be like, well, it wasn't as bad as what this person went through.
And so the enemy tries to get them to kind of like water it down like it didn't matter
or something.
Please don't do that, okay?
What you've been through, or even if it was something you did to someone else, God wants
to heal you from that stuff.
It matters.
And so he's calling out to you.
He calls onto deep and he's saying, I want to set you free from all of that.
Whether you were the victim or you were the perpetrator, ladies, truly come in and confess
this stuff.
Do not hide this.
Do not leave this program, this course in the program with stuff that you just still
have hiding down underneath the surface.
This is your time.
And we're going to love you through it.
We're not going to judge you.
I promise you.
You're going to be met with love and grace, and I pray and hope that God heals you and
delivers you in ways that you cannot even think or imagine was possible.
All right, flies, lies, and counterfeit.
I cannot even say it, you all, flies, lies, and counterfeit lives.
That is a tongue twister.
Try saying that three times fast.
All right, so I'm not going to go too far into this because you all can watch the content
on this.
But what I want to talk about in regards to that, we call them squatters.
We all have squatters that try to take up residence in our hearts.
If you don't know what squatters are, has anybody ever heard of squatters?
Some people have, some people haven't.
All right, they tend to try to occupy a house or a location that does not belong to them.
And in some states in the winter, if the people come home and find squatters in their home,
they literally can't kick them out because they're protected.
It's crazy.
Anyways, point is that the enemy, when he plants these lies in our spirit, it's just
like last week, we talked about the flies.
They look for a decomposing part and then they plant and lay eggs there.
So then when those eggs hatch, they have that big source of life to feed off of.
Squatters come in through the lies and they take up residence in our heart.
And they're just like living out in there, camping out.
They've set up this whole campsite.
And what I mean by that is one lie tends to be connected to another lie, tends to be connected
to another lie.
And they're all just taking up residence in our hearts.
Because so many of us have even lived with things, generational inherited lies that were
passed down to us that we've just been like, this is how I've always thought.
This is just who I am.
They just have to accept who I am.
No, ladies, they don't.
No, they don't.
And I pray and hope that you will shift out of those mindsets and heart postures because
it's not healthy for you.
And in order to attract healthy men, we have to become healthy women.
So where are we still believing lies that were even spoken around us that we heard?
About men, about the world, about women, about our bodies, whatever it is.
About beauty.
The Lord said to say that, so I'm putting that one out there too.
Some of you feel like it's not okay to be beautiful because somebody told you it was,
you know, all about, you know, vanity.
I remember this one time, I went down to a church I was serving for.
And a couple of the ladies that served online on my team came with me.
We all were from different states, we met there.
And one of the ladies, I ended up letting her stay with us because she couldn't afford
to stay on her own.
And you know, you all I like to do my hair, I like to put makeup on.
I don't think of it as being vain.
I just, I've, I grew up in a house where my mom did it, my grandma did it.
I've just always done it.
Back in the day, because my mom never left the house without makeup.
I did feel this internal, I can't ever leave the house without makeup.
I've gotten over that.
But I am saying that there's just, I like to take care of myself.
And I don't think that's a bad thing.
I don't, I'm not like a...
Everything's about me kind of person.
But anyways, I'm saying all that to say this, because I take care of myself,
this person, she chooses to live a different way.
She takes care of herself in her own way.
She does not spend time on hair or makeup.
She doesn't wear deodorant, like just very different than me.
I did not judge her at all for that, but she judged me and
she told me I was really vain.
Found that really interesting.
So for whatever reason, I don't know if I've ever even told that story in all
these five years, but I felt led to mention it tonight.
So I felt hurt by that because I was just being myself and I never judged her.
But yet she judged me.
There's this big thing around beauty in the world and our society
definitely has not helped that case.
But ladies, let's be kind to one another and not judge other people.
Some of the most beautiful women in the world have the most insecurity.
And some of the women that don't ever do anything with their
appearance also have a lot of insecurity.
It's in all of us to some degree.
Okay.
So let's be kind to one another.
Let's not judge each other, but let's look at what's in our heart.
That's causing us to judge other women before we even know them.
Or even if we do know them, that we think we know why they're
doing what they're doing.
Cause you know, it says, you know, to be careful to judge people because we
don't know the intentions of their heart.
God is the only one that knows that.
All right, I'm going to keep going.
So what are your squatters?
These are enemies to our breakthrough and our progress.
So when we have these squatters, they hold us back.
So as I put you into breakout sessions, Kayleen says, that was, that is for me.
I've struggled to not pendulum in response to some of the toxic
beauty standards of our culture.
Kayleen, thank you for sharing that.
I hope that that ministers to you.
God loves you and you have your own unique beauty and live who you are, be who you
are and be confident in that.
And, and ladies, I'll say this too.
You know, that's the thing.
Some of us step even into people pleasing in that regard.
And some of us, you know, need to practice divine feminine and really
partnering with what does that mean for us?
You know, maybe I had some ladies, um, I wish I could show you pictures of
some of these individuals progress, but, um, one of the ladies in particular
that comes to mind, she had never worn a dress in her entire life.
And so back in the day, we should do this.
You all, we should do this.
This is going to be one of your assignments this week.
And for some of you ladies, you're like, I wear dresses all the time.
So that's awesome.
But for some of the other ladies, they don't.
So we're going to practice divine feminine this week.
Okay.
So what that means is I want to encourage you to find a pretty top.
If you, if you're like, I'm not ready for dresses yet.
Okay.
But eventually I want you to practice getting there.
Okay.
Jeans, a nice top, get out your dresses.
If you need to go spend just a little bit of money on a new dress, do that.
Let's practice putting on a little bit of makeup.
If you don't love makeup, go fresh, maybe a little bit of lip gloss instead, you
know, do your version of allowing your divine beauty to come out, maybe put on
some earrings.
I love danglies.
I think they look so feminine.
Now you might like short ones and that's totally fine.
The point is.
What is your divine feminine and allow that to come out to play.
Okay.
We worked on just playing and having fun last week.
And if you didn't do that yet, I hope you do it this week.
And that'll, this will be an added one.
And this is an additional assignment for this week.
So I feel like the Holy spirit brought this up for a purpose tonight because I actually
haven't given the dress assignment and really, really long time.
Yes.
So here's the thing.
So many of us, um, genuinely our divine feminine comes out to play a lot more in
dresses.
Um, also just from my perspective, I have noticed that men like ladies, when the more
that I healed and I noticed it all the time now, but the more that I healed when I would
go places and I would be dressed up, like even when we go places after church, I tend
to dress up.
Even if I wear pants or jeans, I tend to wear a nice top or a jacket or something like
that, or a dress people will hold the door for me, even other women.
There's like something that just comes out of us when we lean into our divine feminine as we heal
more and more. And for some of you, you know, a lot of that femininity got shut down when you went
through trauma and pain because the enemy told you it wasn't safe to be feminine. This isn't
about what's pretty ladies, okay? I want to really draw that distinction. I believe that you will
look pretty, but this is about the divine feminine on the inside of you being cultivated, being
healed. And if the enemy, like for me, I always, even as a young girl, I loved dresses, but then
the enemy kept attacking my divine feminine. And so every time my divine feminine has gotten
attacked in some way, even like one of the examples, like I can remember when I started
feeling good about my body, I was losing weight, and I was walking out of work one day,
and then I got haggled, like catcalled from some guys in a car. And then it happened again,
different guys, different day. And then I started feeling subconscious, like I was drawing attention
to myself that I didn't want. That wasn't true, okay? I wasn't doing anything wrong. But subconsciously,
I started shutting down. I started wearing baggier clothes. Y'all, this stuff all matters,
so it's important for us to pay attention to it. And again, if you have never worn a dress,
there's no shame in that, okay? Super important that you hear me say that. But I just want you
to be praying about it, and I want you to consider going to a dress store, trying on a few dresses.
If you don't love it the first time, don't reject it forever. The reason I brought up the lady I
referenced earlier, her name is Sarah. She had never worn a dress, y'all. And actually, Debra,
two ladies. Neither one of them had. And they didn't feel comfortable enough to do it in the
heart work, but later in our program, they both went out shopping at different times. And y'all,
I'm telling you, like they posted pictures, and they were shining. They were confident,
and they realized how much they enjoyed it. And that's the thing. I think some of us tell
ourselves that we don't actually need that or even enjoy it. And maybe that is the case for
you, and maybe that is what you will find. But from my experience, that doesn't tend to be the
case. Most people love when their divine feminine shows up, okay? And it's a different timing for
everyone. So trust the timing. I'm not going to be hard on you like, oh my gosh, did you guys do
it? We're not going to be like that in here. This is me giving you an invitation that I believe is
from the Lord because it is not in any of my content for tonight. These are my notes, ladies.
I don't have that written down in here anywhere. I believe 100% that came up from the Lord for you
all in particular. And so be praying into that and allow the Lord to lead that the way that He sees
fit for you. All right, back to our breakout question. Thank you, Jesus and Holy Spirit for
divinely interrupting us. Our breakout question is, what is a negative emotion or memory that
God was bringing up for you tonight as I was talking about the revealing for healing cycle?
And again, if you didn't have a negative emotion or memory, but maybe a lie surfaced,
go with that, okay? Share whatever came up for you. But if you have the emotion or memory,
go ahead and share that first. Remember short, brief, and powerful, ladies, when you get into
the breakout room so that everybody has time to talk. I'm going to do, it's already 8 49,
so I'm going to do probably six minutes. So we'll do kind of really short tonight.
I'll try the best that I can to only put two people in. Excuse me, but some of you are going
to have three. Okay, here we go. Yeah, sometimes my job used to be really cold too, Zan, but I
just would wear cute feminine tops and like a cute sweater over it. It's going to invite you into,
Sandra, into the breakout, but you can just not accept it. So you can just stay here.
And before I, before we do that, Sandra is going to move to phase two. You all,
I saw the email come through. Way to go. I'm excited about that. All right, here we go.
Go ahead and click to join those as quick as you can, excuse me, can,
and then I will try to make sure we have everybody in a room together. All right, awesome.
Megan, you can absolutely go back or go into your room if you want to,
that's totally up to you. If that's what you were asking me, I haven't seen the whole thing.
And it's okay, if you just want to stay here, okay, I'm just going to pray, I think everyone
has somebody Okay, yeah.
So father, we just thank you for your revealing for healing that are happening tonight, God,
we thank you for restoring all of the broken and fallen places in our hearts and lives.
Lord, when things that are unexpected happen that are disappointing, God, I thank you that
I just heard the Lord say he's reappointing us. And so, Lord, I thank you that you turn
everything around for our good. And Lord, that you do take disappointment in your hands,
and you mold it into something amazing and beautiful in our lives. I pray that you would
help every woman be encouraged. And to know that you are a good father who brings good
gifts to your children, and they are going to continue to work in their lives no matter what
they see or think in the Yeah, or recognize in the physical realm. And so Lord, we just thank
you for every person that's here, God, we thank you for continuing to Lord, just go in and stir up
or the things that need revealed for healed healing Lord, the things that are down deep
in the recesses of their spirit. God, we thank you that you would Yeah, your word declares that
you comfort the broken hearted and you're close to those who are crushed in spirit. And so Lord,
for whoever that applies to God, I thank you that you are meeting them in this moment.
And you are restoring and rebuilding redeeming God, that you would place the balm of Gilead
upon those areas that you would help them to see and recognize things that they cannot see,
or they can't comprehend what is led them to this place, Lord, we thank you for
Yeah, just Ephesians six, seven, or excuse me, 612. And the NLT version that says for we are
not fighting against flesh and blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen
world against mighty powers in this dark world and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.
Sorry, ladies. I've apologized to my husband a lot. I'm like, Oh, this sounds so terrible.
Anyways, so we're warring against all these things in the heavenly realms, we have to understand that
even when people rise up against us or hurt us, or, you know, do things that are through the
leading and the enemy, that greater is he that is in us than he that isn't, you know, in the world
that God is for us, who can be against us. And even as Jackie was talking about a couple
Saturdays ago, just that story about Elisha and the servant, and how Elisha prayed that God would
open the servant's eyes to see the many that were around that, like surrounding all the armies that
were surrounding them. And there was all these angel host of art, like the host of angel armies.
And it was just really, really powerful, just that reminder that even when we feel like,
you know, everything is against us, warfare on every side, which I even talked about at the
beginning of tonight, with being sick, like Lord, like y'all, I was literally sick like this
for weeks back in May, it wasn't that long ago. And here I am again, sick, and we don't really
know why we keep getting sick, other than the enemy is just warring against us. And so sometimes
we don't understand. But what I do know is God is for me, he's my healer, and he's going to continue
to see me through. And so, ladies, I want to encourage you to continue to partner with God
as our defender. He's our defender, and he's fighting for us, and he will not fail. I keep
hearing that tonight. He will not fail us. Proverbs 18, 19 says, it is easier to conquer a strong city
than to win back a friend whom you've offended. Their walls go up, making it nearly impossible
to win them back. And so, Lord, we just come against the spirit of offense tonight.
And I just thank you, Jesus, that you would just place the blood of Jesus Christ right now
over every offense, where there's brokenness in our families, where there's just been destruction
for years. We just speak in Jesus' name, a spirit of reconciliation, a spirit of healing,
a spirit of forgiveness to be released in us and through us. Lord, to those around us, God,
give us eyes to see what your spirit sees. Help us to feel what your heart feels for them.
It doesn't make it okay what they did to us, but God, we can choose to forgive and walk in the
healing and the redemption that you have designed and created for us. God, that you can make us
better than new, like that this stuff, it would be like as if we come out like, you know, those in
the lion's den, where we won't even smell like smoke. God, that we will look back and we will
feel like none of that, even though we know that stuff happened, it will feel as if it never did.
God, I thank you that you're going to continue to guide us by the hand,
that you're going to continue to lavish your unfailing love upon us.
I pray that you would help us to step into, um, the rightful place as your
princesses, as your daughters, as royalty, Lord, I thank you that you would
help us to continue to heal from the inside out, Lord, I thank you that you
would just, um, yeah, Lord, continue to connect dots, bring truth and
revelation where there's been confusion, where there's been chaos, bring calm.
We know that Jesus slept in the boat when they were going to the other
side and the disciples were scared.
They were so afraid, but Jesus slept.
Pray that you would give us that ability, but why did he sleep?
Because he knew where he was going.
So Lord, I pray that you would help us to get a revelation of
where we're going for so many of these ladies, to give them a revelation
of the promise and the plan that you have for them, the spirit mates that
you have for them, that's the cherry on top, but also the, the abundance
of blessings and calling and purpose that you have for their lives.
And I pray that you would help them to lean into that more
and more every single day.
In Jesus name.
Amen.
Welcome back ladies.
So for those of you that are new, while you're in breakouts, I tend to talk
and pray and whatever comes up, comes up and out.
And so if you all ever want to go back and just listen to that tonight, it was
about 8 50 something, so about 50 some minutes in, and so it was just for a few
minutes, but it might minister to some of you as well.
Um, yeah.
Okay.
Just reading that in the chat.
Welcome back.
So our additional, um, our additional somebody, I need to meet somebody.
Hold on one sec.
There we go.
Sorry.
It's getting a little feedback.
So the additional activation.
So in addition to practicing our divine feminine, getting on our dresses, y'all
guess what you can take yourself on a date.
Did you know you can, and it will be really good practice for you because
you know what, if you can't treat yourself well, why would you date
someone who would treat you?
Well, ouch.
Truth.
Take yourself to a nice dinner, get dressed up, maybe go out with some
girlfriends if you're not there yet, comfortable to take yourself on a date.
But some of you do need to practice taking yourself on a date.
Cause you don't even know what you like.
So when guys are like, what do you want to do?
What do you like to do?
You're like, um, what do you like to do?
I'll do whatever you want to do.
Anyone else like that in here?
I used to do that.
I thought I knew myself, but I really didn't.
And so I allowed, I became like a, like a Jackie calls it in the modern dating sucks.
I think the chill girl, I, y'all, I was a bunch of those people that she talked
about in the book, but I resonated with the chill girl and you know, what was
crazy is on the inside, I was totally not the chill girl.
I was freaking out.
I was mad because of what I was seeing, but I was just trying to be the cool
girlfriend.
Cause I didn't want to lose the guy who was a total not good guy.
It's crazy, right?
So if that was you in the past, praise God, you don't ever have to be that person
again.
If I can break free from that, you can break free from that in Jesus name.
And God is going to help you do that.
But here's the other activation.
I almost lost my train of thought.
Cause I started talking about that.
So the dress and the divine feminine number two is I want to encourage you.
And again, I'll put this up in the group.
You'll see it.
If you click on the announcements tab every week, I post our activations for the
week.
And so I'll put both of these up there.
You're going to create a post in the group this week and talk about what
squatters you're going to evict from your heart.
Okay.
You're going to talk about sometimes who do you pretend to be?
Like, you know, are there any masks that you need to remove?
And I'm going to list out different types of squatters that we tend to have in our
hearts.
And I'll put those in the group.
But for some of you, like all of you need to just pray and ask the Lord what the
squatters are.
But you know, you can also look at the list and see if any of those resonate.
But ultimately I really want you all to pray into that because the Lord is going
to show you some of the stuff that you haven't even recognized that's in your
heart that he's like, yeah, that's hurting you.
I really want to encourage you to kick that out.
Um, for some of you, you've been really mad at your mom for a long time.
I just heard the Lord say that.
So I'm speaking out what he's saying.
And I'm not saying it's not justified.
Okay.
But God wants you to let go of bitterness and unforgiveness.
And he wants you to move forward. So if that's you, I
want to encourage you to lean into that and kick out the
bitterness squatter that's trying to take up residence in
your heart and it's holding you back in life. Okay. There's so
many others. But again, just trying to lean into Holy Spirit
what he's saying tonight. All right. So those are the two
activations for this week. We're going to go ahead and go into
coaching time now Karen's ready to go. So the way this works for
the new ladies, is that I encourage you all to share with
the whole group what you shared in the breakout room. And then
we coach around that. Okay. All right, Karen, you're up. Hello.
Hi. So what I shared in the group was that my, my dad's not
safe. And I feel like I'm being put in harm's way. And I shared
an instance where a few weeks ago, I just came back from my
family vacation. And I feel like I've been sulking since I've
been back. Because before we even went on the trip, I asked
my dad, I said, you know, don't be getting into any fights or
like, saying some foul language. And we were in the airport, and
he got offended by someone and he did. He raised his voice, he
caused a scene, and I just kind of like, shut down. And then at
dinnertime, it came out, but it came out in an indirect way. And
I felt like, you know, I could have brought it to him in a
different way. Just address it between him and I. And it even
made me more upset because he was saying he had to teach the
person a lesson. So not really being sincerely apologetic about
it. So for me, I feel like even though I wanted to honor his
request to take him on this vacation, especially being
older, I feel like I was in survival mode the whole time we
were traveling. So and I feel like I could have, you know,
talked to God about it, prayed about it, or even like reached
out in the community just to kind of like, get it off my
heart. And I was more just trying to take care of it
myself.
So a couple things. Thank you so much for what you shared. I'm
sorry to hear that happened. But I know it might be hard. And
again, because he's getting older, I can totally understand
why you were lovingly, you know, taking him on this trip. But
from what you've shared about your family, it just sounds like
God is really trying to encourage you to also create
more boundaries. So you may not want to do that. You might want
to do a shorter, shorter little thing, maybe a little few hour
car trip or something and see how that goes instead of you
know, where you're at places that you are more exposed, if
you will. And I've gone through not like my dad used to yell at
me in public. And then when I was married before my first
marriage, my ex husband used to yell at me in front of other
people and it was humiliating. And so while your dad was
yelling at someone else, I'm just resonating with you a
little bit in those moments how that can feel. And so just want
to encourage you to really take some time to really look at what
were all the things you were feeling when that was happening?
Okay. You said something really important. You said, I've been
sulking since I've been back. Very specific, very self aware
word that you're using. And so what is sulking look like for
you? And what does it sound like? So what I mean by that is
what do you typically do when you sulk? And what are the lies
that you're hearing when you're sulking? And there's no shame in
this y'all. I have been there and felt that in the last few
weeks myself with some things we've been walking through. So
I'm just asking because I will probably know how to kind of
navigate from from that point of what you share, what the
Lord's trying to kind of hone in on tonight.
Like I was spending time doom scrolling or watching movie. And
usually I'm working out I wasn't even doing that. So just feeling
really down and like kind of talking maybe regrets in my
mind. Or and then feeling guilty about me and me exploding
afterwards. For that. Okay. And then my parents anniversary
recently came up. And I didn't even respond to the family group
text because I was still feeling like I didn't get triggered like
just knowing the relationship they had with one another. And
you know, yeah, he was trying to
It sounds sweet in the text message,
but I was just like, I did not see your marriage that way
or how you treated mom.
Yeah.
And I think, again, these can be really tough things
to navigate because so many of us,
we don't want to be the one that doesn't say something
in the family chat or even in a friend chat.
I have friends that deal with this,
where people bring up politics knowing that certain people
don't want to talk about that.
And it starts all these fights.
Like in family things like this, somebody
saying something that may or may not really have been true,
and that's tough.
So just pray about, is God asking you to respond?
And just releasing yourself from the guilt of not responding.
I don't think that we ladies have to get into this mode
of we have to respond to everything.
I will also say, sometimes, even now, the current family
chat we have, my husband's one sister in particular,
is very always about herself and self-promoting.
And we love her, but sometimes, it's just a lot.
And so sometimes, I just don't respond
because I just don't feel like it,
and I'm really too busy for it.
And I don't mean that bad, but just that's the reality.
And I just don't walk in guilt for that.
But it's taken practice.
But one of the things I want to mention
is let's really look out with the Lord
to releasing yourself from the guilt of the explosion,
if you will, and forgiving yourself for it.
But again, get to the root of what
really led to the explosion.
Is it because he did what you asked him not to do?
Is it because he is always the same,
and you're just mad that your dad is the way he is?
Is it something else?
You know what I'm saying, where you really
start to dial in on what was really,
because remember, anger hurts bodyguard.
And rage, which is typically the explosion,
it's anger amplified, underneath of all of those things
tends to be sadness and frustration, disappointment.
But sadness at the core.
So what were you sad about?
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
One thing I could think offhand was at the donor,
he was ready to want to go back to his hometown.
We were with my family and my brother's family.
And he was saying, we're a happy family, and then this.
And inside, I'm thinking, are you kidding me?
You're like, are you not in touch with?
You tell us to keep things to ourself
when you know very well there's this incident that
happened in the family that was not OK.
And you're seeing our family as happy.
And I felt like maybe that was my opportunity
to speak up for something we've been told
to be silent about for a while.
So are you sad that you didn't speak up then?
Is that what I hear you saying?
I felt like it triggered a lot more in my heart that's
been buried for so long and not having a voice
or feeling invalidated.
OK.
So this is your assignment for that, OK?
I want you to put on some soft music in the next few days,
what I would call soaking music.
You can kind of look it up on Spotify or YouTube.
And I just want you to take some time to journal.
Everything that you feel about this, don't hold anything back.
Literally, even if you say something mean,
don't hold it back.
You got to let it out.
And you need to just process through the real you
because your voice needs to find an outlet.
And we're going to start using the journaling
as the initial outlet, OK?
You don't need to necessarily do anything with it.
You might want to pray if you need
to burn it or keep it or whatever
and just see what the Lord says.
I would not encourage you to give it to anyone, OK?
Because this is going to be really raw.
It's going to be really real, hopefully.
But you have to practice just really expressing and not
having like, you know, when I say don't erase things,
don't cross them out, like whatever comes up,
write it out.
This is going to be really big for you
because you've held stuff down for so long.
And maybe even in the past had people,
when you actually would try to express yourself,
I'm going to guess there were probably people that kind of
tried to convince you that those feelings were not real.
or they weren't allowed or something,
or good girls don't have those kind of big emotions,
or, you know, people make all kinds of statements, right?
And some of it is cultural stuff too.
So even in your culture, I don't know, you know,
even if you were raised in the U.S., ladies,
so many people, you know, that their parents
came from another country or whatever outside the U.S.,
that culture still comes with you, with your family, right?
And so that's at play too for so many.
So take some real time to process that
and allow whatever to come out.
And really, anytime in the next few weeks
that you feel that like, okay, stuff is starting to build up
or you feel really down, just take,
even if it's like you set a timer
and don't feel like you have to just do this for hours, okay?
I would encourage you the first time,
and this might sound like a long time,
but it's gonna go fast, set a timer for five minutes
and just write.
Okay?
And then do that again.
And I would encourage you to do it every few days
for the next few weeks, because you just,
you really need to practice that expression.
It's gonna be really helpful for you.
Okay, thank you so much.
You're welcome, yeah.
And for ladies, when I coach,
if something's resonating for you,
one of the things we talk about in this community
is that it's really important for you
to go ahead and grab that for yourself.
And so if what I just said to her,
if you are someone that also struggles to use your voice,
highly recommend you doing the same for yourself, okay?
That journaling prompt, five minutes,
really let yourself release those emotions.
I even feel like, man, maybe I need to do that again.
You know, stuff gets stored up in us,
and because we're trying to be good people, good Christians,
again, somebody said something,
we're not allowed to feel this way,
we stuff that down and God's wanting us to let that out
in a safe container.
Okay, does that make sense?
All right, Beth, we'd love to hear what you have to say.
You're muted if you're talking.
Sorry, I'm on my phone, I'm trying to find,
I'm trying to find the right spot
to put myself on camera and all that,
but I'm getting quite excited.
So I'll just tell you,
and then maybe while you're coaching,
I can come on camera.
So for me, what was coming up was less specific memories,
but when you said, when you were talking about
going round and round, like the same issues
or cycling through, for me, that has been all my life,
really, is like losing weight, gaining weight,
losing weight, gaining weight.
And I just feel like I'm so done with,
I just want to be done with that.
Even now I'm in a cycle of like, I've been pretty good,
like I'm losing weight and I'm focused,
but just this weekend I had kind of like a trigger
and it was just like seeing a picture of myself
that I thought I looked different,
because I have been losing weight,
so I was like feeling proud, but then I saw a picture
and it kind of put me in a place where I was like over eight
and so I just, and there's, I think, root issues.
My dad is very obese and not,
just not in reality with like changing that,
and so I think that that is part of it.
So I think there's some, definitely some things there,
like I'm aware of that and I always have been,
but yeah, so that was kind of what came up
and my partner in the group was like,
hey, I resonate with that
and I think you should bring that up.
And I was like, yeah, I probably should,
because it's just, is one of these things
where it's like, I just don't want to keep,
I just want like a healthy relationship with food
and with eating and,
but the lie that was coming up, and I've known this,
is, and it's sometimes I do well with it
and then sometimes I feel like it creeps back in,
is that, if I'm a certain size or if I'm small enough
or from, then I'll be more attractive
and therefore I'll have a mate,
and so I think that's kind of that,
that lie that comes out of that.
So that's what I have.
I'm gonna try to go on camera if I can figure it out.
Yeah, that's totally fine.
So thank you so much for sharing that
and I think a lot of people are gonna resonate with that
in different ways.
Interestingly enough, I was just thinking about this
for myself not that long ago,
because I felt like I was losing a little bit of weight
and then I saw myself in a photo
and just totally was like, oh my gosh,
that's what I look like?
And then.
of went in the same spiral. So I really resonated with what you were saying. And I've never really
thought of this. But when you were talking about the pictures, what I kind of saw in my mind's eye
was almost like, and this may not resonate for you, it could be you, it could be somebody else
that's on here tonight. I don't remember my mom ever doing this for me. But I saw like a mom
with the daughter, like looking at pictures and basically like comparing people in the picture.
And it was like the daughter was in the picture with other like relatives, siblings, something
like that. And so if any of you have gone through that, or your dad's did it or whatever, or you saw
your dad like comparing women or heard him do, moms do it too. But just that can be the root of
some of this, like where we're always like looking at ourself in photos and never being satisfied.
I will say, interestingly enough, my mom was also very obese and overweight. So when you mentioned
that about your dad, I feel like we have some similarities there. My mom hit food a lot,
had a lot of bad eating habits. When she was depressed, she would just like eat, eat, eat,
eat. And so I have recognized in the last year more than ever, that is something I've been
working with a coach on that I actually have to work on mindsets. When something negative happens,
it triggers like these habits that I subconsciously picked up from my mom and watching her and how she
actually didn't deal with pain. She just ate food to like, kind of like soothe it, if you will,
in a sense. And so when you said, when I saw the picture, and I thought I didn't look good,
and then I ate, you know, stuff that you didn't want to. Again, these are really good self
awareness things that you're seeing, Beth. You know, I think the reality is, is that God wants
you to break the cycle to even more than you want to. I know that consent, like, even me,
sometimes I get frustrated, because I'm like, well, if he wants me, like, why can't I just
be done with this? You know, but at the core, it's like what Jackie said on Saturday, you know,
God is revealing this stuff to help us get to the root of what is the trigger. Okay, so what is the
trigger for us? What is what is the lie underneath the surface? And again, it sounds like you've
already been processing this. But remember, one of the things I talked about in this community,
in the heartwork specifically, is that forgiveness happens in layers, healing happens in layers. And
you know, again, I can coach from what I know about myself, is that every time I circle back
around all this body image stuff in this weight gain, weight loss, weight gain, and the stuff
with my mom, and even the beauty stuff, and my mom compared her, my dad cheated on my mom a lot.
So my mom never felt confident. And, you know, just I picked up a lot of that stuff more than I
even realized. Every time this stuff kind of circles back around, I get another layer of freedom.
So I will tell you that I'm not saying God isn't wanting you to be set free. Yeah. But remember,
the truth is what actually sets us free. And, you know, when we talk about changing behavior,
we don't necessarily want behavior modification, right? We want healing on the inside,
that brings a change on the outside out of the overflow. So out of us healing, that that is what
would lead us to change who we are to shift what we're doing, when something happens, right? Yes.
So I love that you've already identified the lie. Okay. I love that you already are recognizing this
cycle. I encourage you to really ask the Lord kind of like how I said, the fear of men are abused by
men was the overarching. I feel like God is showing you the overarching thing. And you already know
some of the, I'm going to call them tendrils, tendrils that come off of that. But I feel like
there might be some more that God wants to reveal to you, maybe even earlier in childhood, things
that you picked up and beliefs. And I just heard the Lord say to forgive your dad for his obesity.
Yeah. You know, and forgive him for whatever, you know, if there's any judgment that you've had
against him, um, because of what he has done or hasn't done to take care of himself. That was
some things I had to deal with, with my mom, my mom quit taking care of herself and it didn't end
well for her. And I had to deal with.
some bitterness and judgment in my heart towards her. Again, if this resonates, take it. Lean
into that. But God is definitely wanting to heal that relationship with your dad too.
Yeah, and he was one of my forgiveness worksheets. But the other thing is that I live with my
parents right now. Of course, it's from the Lord, so it's spot on. But I mean, there's
continual opportunity to be offended and to forgive. And there is anger that he won't
take care of himself. And so it's almost like my choice to work out and take care of myself
because I don't want to end up that way. But also, I'm upset that he won't try,
and that he can't take care of my mom physically.
Yeah, so we're getting to something. This is really important, Beth, okay? When you said
anger that he won't take care of himself, I feel like the way that I describe it,
I felt some juice on that. I felt some Holy Spirit on that. I feel like you're onto something
really important there, okay? So don't brush over that too quick tonight after we get off.
Remember, anger, which is what I just mentioned to Karen, is hurts bodyguard. So under the core,
when is the first time you believe the lie that your dad didn't care about you enough?
I feel that. Thank you, Jesus. I think that's where it's going to lead.
Because you're saying it is true. You want him to be there to care for your mom. But ultimately,
who do we want our daddies to care about? Who do we care about us? And I think just at some point,
even earlier in your life, there was a time where you didn't feel protected or something with your
dad, maybe even because of his weight, where the judgment started coming in. So let us know,
pray into that, and then come in the group and tell us. And again, it could be in the next few
days. It could be next week. Just trust the process, but let us know how that goes, okay?
Okay. Thank you.
You're welcome. Thank you for sharing. It's good to see you. Danielle, go ahead.
Hey, everyone. Hi. I just finished week two of heartwork, and I've been
very emotional, so I might cry when I'm talking right now.
Right. So the emotion that came up was feeling inferior and really small,
and almost wanting to hide. I think that kind of goes together. And it's really interesting,
because the memory that came up for me, and I shared this in my group, was when I was a little
girl, the neighborhood boy would come and play with me, and then he would touch me in places I
wasn't okay with, and that would go on to become a pattern. And then I would go to school,
and he would ignore me. And then I would come home, and then I would actually begin to get
really excited to see him, and do all these very promiscuous things. I didn't even know what I was
doing. I was really young. And then this would go on to become a pattern, and then abuse would come
into my life, sexual abuse, and a lot of terrible things. And the lie that came up for me was,
I have to compromise to get what I want. And I've dated a lot, been in four broken relationships,
one in engagement with my best guy friend. And I've realized I just made new non-negotiables,
and it just feels really hard to stick to those, and to stick to my boundaries. And I also wrote
down that hiding just feels safer still, after all these years. And I went on to actually become
a homecoming queen, and I run an online business. I love photo shoots. I actually like being seen,
except when it comes to this part of my life. It still feels incredibly unsafe. Men still
kind of feel unsafe. I've attracted almost, he's almost there. He's got nine out of the
10 things that's good enough. I guess I'll just compromise, even though in my heart, in my head,
I'm like, I don't compromise. And I don't know, I'm just feeling, I have been hiding lately. I'm
not showing up online. I'm not really building my business right now. I'm not dating because I was
told not to. So that's on the...
I've not really been on absent almost eight months. I don't
know, I just I'm feeling even nervous talking about this right
now.
You're doing a great job. You're doing really, really great. So
number one, darkness is losing its hold on you tonight a little
bit more. Okay, super important that you hear that that you know
that we support you and this takes a lot of courage and
you're super brave. And some important things. There's a book
I read years ago, I can't even think of what it was called. But
there was a story of this little girl that her family, not the
same story that you shared, but this this story is coming to
mind. That people from where they lived came into their home
and started killing her family and her and her brother ran
into the woods. Okay, to hide. And for a while the brother
stayed there. Because they were both afraid to leave because
they could kept hearing these people looking for them. And
then eventually the brother went out to see if everything was
okay, and he never came back. Well, the little girl kept
hiding. I think the book was called hiding from love. And we
don't encourage people to read other books during heartwork
just because we need you guys to stay in this, but you may want
to check that I think that's what it was called. But the
reason I'm telling this story is even when the bad people were
gone, and safe people came looking for her, she wouldn't
come out. Because she believed she still wasn't safe. And
that's what came to mind when you were telling that story. And
so this isn't something Danielle that you can rush. And I really
want to encourage you to take all the time that you need to
process this, and really process it the most you ever have. And
so for example, I really want to encourage you to forgive the
little girl. You, you as a little girl, you didn't know any
better. And what was happening to you wasn't okay. And it
wasn't your fault. Okay. And then even when you started to
participate, you know, what happens is our body starts
having a physical response that we are not grown up enough to
understand. And then we don't know what to do with it. And so
we act out on it because we are physical beings. Until we start
learning that even even inside of us, like you might have known
it wasn't right, but like you still don't know what to do
about what's been awakened in your body. The Bible talks about
not awakening love before it's time. Okay. I really believe
that scripture kind of connects to this as well. So forgiving
the little girl you but also really asking the Lord to help
you kind of love that little girl in her hiding spot. Does
that make sense why I'm saying that? Yeah. And give her grace
for being there.
Yeah, I really want to I really want to like not be here. I'm
like, I'm not to be hidden. I'm not a hider. I
well, you're not.
But I am right now. I am.
Well, yeah. And part of that is because you're getting triggered
because of what you're processing. Okay. And so and
you might have even been there before you came into this
heartwork journey. But the reason that you're doing that is
because you need time you need to heal and and so
subconsciously you're shutting down and hiding because the
trigger the self protection mechanism is leading you to go
into isolation and withdraw because that's what's like your
psyche basically is saying this is how you're gonna stay safe.
Yeah. So even when everything else that you know is telling
you work on your business to go do these things. You know,
you're not afraid you're not a hider. But subconsciously,
you're in flight mode. And your flight mode is saying hide,
hide, hide. It's not safe. It's not safe. It's not safe. And so
you just have to really give the little girl you grace and and
really think of it as not bullying her. If that makes
sense. Like not pressuring her to come out too quickly, because
you need her to heal.
Wow, that really resonated with me.
Yeah. And so, you know, in that space, though, we don't want her
to stay there forever. But I would encourage you to ask, you
know, I just feel like for you, you need to just see the
Lord holding you in that place? You know, you don't have to have
a lot of answers right now. I think you need to feel his love
in that hiding place. So again, like, I literally have never
told that story from that book in these sessions, because I
don't normally recommend like, or bring up outside sources, but
that just really resonated in my spirit as you were talking. And
so the people are coming and even the Lord sometimes he's
like, it's safe now. Yeah, but you don't believe that yet. And
it's okay, you will, you'll get there. And so when the lies keep
coming up, love yourself really well. You said the lie is I have
to compromise to get what I want. And so one of the things
you want to ask the Lord is when is the first time I believed
this lie? It might be the stuff with this boy, or it might be
before that. I think it was before. Okay, do you know what
it is?
Um, yeah, my dad used to just treat me pretty terribly. So I
had to, like, just lie to him until I tell him I did good
things and got good grades and or else I'd be willed or I was
very scared of my dad from very young age too. I mean, there's a
lot here. You know, I resonate with your story and, and a lot
but yeah, no, I think it's with my dad when I was even younger
than that, because I had a house before I lived in this house.
And yeah.
Is there a place in that house that was like your safe place?
Yeah, yeah, I felt safe. I felt that one too. Yeah, I actually
felt safe in my bedroom.
Okay. Was there a specific spot in your bedroom, like the
closet on the side of your bed?
I felt safe in my bed. Just being in my bed. Nobody would
know.
These are things. Yep. So these the reason I'm asking is these
are all things you kind of want to picture this stuff with the
Lord. Again, you're not pushing, you're not trying to, you know,
shovel things up, if you will. But you're just trying to like
these are things that as soon as I'm asking this stuff is coming
up really quick for you. So that's a that's like God's, you
know, kind of connecting dots very quickly. And in this memory
spot, if you will. And so really want to encourage you to kind of
even like, ask the Lord to show you a specific time that you
were kind of like you went to your bed, because that's where
you felt safe when you were hiding from something. And just
see what he shows you. Okay. And again, ladies, when we've gone
through especially if we have dads or moms, whoever, who was
really abusive, we might have a lot of memories of those things
happening. But this is where it's important to ask the Lord
to highlight when was the first time or what is the one that you
want me to remember, Lord, like where you're really just asking
him, because he knows what you need, like where you need the
revelation where you need the light of the world Jesus to come
in and illuminate that dark spot and bring truth to that area and
healing. And some of you if you don't know this already, when
you when you're doing this work, you're going to have good
memories come up to because what happens when we go into flight
mode or fight, you know, when we're in that place,
unfortunately, good memories kind of get sucked down with the
bad stuff. And so you might you might remember some good things
that you did not remember before or for a very long time.
And so just know that that can be very common. So love yourself
really well, get extra rest, Danielle, you're going to be
doing some really important work. Don't rush through this.
Okay, so you're one of the people I would recommend taking
a little more time. And don't worry, you won't miss out on
your spirit mate. I promise. Okay, we're saying that. Yeah.
And, you know, I took, I took my time, because I needed to when I
went through this program. And my, I'm not saying this will be
the case for everyone. But I'm just saying this can happen. My
time that it took to meet my husband was very accelerated,
very, it did not take me long to find him. And so I don't want
you to worry about taking the time that you need now. Because
that will help you later. Okay. So I'll be praying for you.
We're praying for you. Come in if you're struggling as you're
processing any of this and talk to us about it. You can talk to
us next week on the lives. And we want to just do our best to
kind of come alongside of you really well in this process.
Okay. Thank you so much. You're welcome.
probably ladies, I know I have three more people, I can
probably only take one more person tonight. Just I'm trying
to really protect my rest as I'm still trying to recover from the
sickness, ladies. And so I'm going to go ahead and go to Lisa
first, because I see her on my screen. If I do have time,
depending on the conversation and coaching with Lisa, Tatiana,
I will come to you. Okay.
Okay, I think this will be very quick. Um, I, I might get a
little emotional. I have, um, okay.
The dog is the dog might start barking. Right. And the way he
says what's going on. He's actually, he looks very
concerned about me right now. Um,
um,
I think I'm seeing is that
I just have this real need to be in control.
And I really see that I really need to surrender. Because it's
affecting every area of my life. And I don't, I don't think I've
even been aware. Yeah. And I think the root of it is this
fear of rejection.
Because I have this huge need to be understood and heard. And I
don't want to be misconceived. That's part of it. That's not
the big thing. But I see it a lot in my coaching with you,
actually. And I like I just don't want to be misunderstood.
And I'm always rushing myself to say everything because I feel
like I want to just be mindful of the time, you know. And I'm
also a really detailed person. So I feel like it's a detail
like it, you know, it's important to me for whatever
reason. And then, um,
So do you feel sad because you are upset with yourself for
feeling this way? Or tell me tell me what the sadness is
about.
Well, one thing that's coming up is that, you know, I'm, I had
this really great phone call. And this lady gave me three
referrals to talk to these different people. And yeah, for
this job that I really want, like I would move and
everything. And I've journaled a lot about this. And God keeps
telling me like, everything you're, you're looking for Lisa
is on the other side of this. And, um, and I've journaled
several times and I've, you know, I've circled back and
reread and I haven't read lately. But you know, when I did
all that, that, um, the thing, the thing that is interesting is
like, I talk a lot to chat GPT to try to figure out how to, you
know, get these emails the right way or whatever, you know, and I
don't always agree with chat GPT. Like, I'll be like, well, I
don't like how that sounds. That's too forward or this or
whatever. But it's interesting. I bring this up because one
thing chat GPT told me, they do keep track of you like, you
know, and it said, you know, something to the degree of the
fact that I seem to want to get all my answers right away. And
then it's like, you kind of got to ask one question and then
wait for the reply and then do this. But I want to get
everything out at one time. I don't know why I think it's a
control thing. Maybe I don't the Lord's gonna have to
highlight to me because one thing I have to be very careful
of that I'm becoming aware of is that I want to cycle analyze
and figure it out. And and I think that's part of the
control. And then there's no room for God because I'm not
surrendering. You know, and I think that's where the pain is.
Like I'm because I see that I'm getting in the way of my growth
because only the Lord can really show me the roots of
anything, right?
Yeah, I'm looking up something because I want to I literally
was talking, coaching someone today on over explaining. It's
something I've also struggled with. And for whatever reason,
that's coming to mind. I feel like it does go with what you
were saying the need to be heard and not misunderstood. So we
will tend to like over explain, let me find this thing because I
think it's going to really resonate for you. Give me one
second. Okay, so one of the things explaining a lot, you
know, if we're worried about being rejected or
misunderstood, often trace back to insecurity, or things that we
learned growing up, for example, sometimes because our feelings
or desires were not valid.
dated when we were young, we learned to deflect.
It also can come from environments
where being fully heard felt unsafe,
where we had to justify ourselves
to avoid conflict or punishment,
or where love felt conditional on being right or agreeable.
For some, over-explaining is a way
of trying to earn understanding
we're afraid we won't otherwise receive.
Okay?
So I know that was kind of a lot really quick,
but when we try to control
because we're afraid we're gonna be rejected
on one level or another,
however the control comes out,
like in this case, over-explaining,
or trying to make sure we don't miss any detail,
or asking too many questions all at once,
or whatever that looks like, okay?
At the core, oftentimes is insecurity
or not feeling heard or validated
in some way when we were younger,
or even over the years,
when we really needed to be validated, okay?
Yeah.
And so I would encourage you,
the pain that you're feeling on this is real,
it feels very deep,
so that's why I asked you,
like what is the sadness connecting to?
You know, like in you,
because you feel sad because you're realizing
maybe you struggle with control,
and you need to surrender,
but you're struggling to surrender,
and so those are all very good self-awareness things,
but I really encourage you to ask the Lord,
what is the root,
like what's the sadness linked to?
Does that make sense?
Yeah, my gut,
without knowing really directly from the Lord is,
I think it was just,
my parents, I've gone back to that so many times,
but they split up when I was 15,
and I didn't live with either of them
for my last years of high school,
and I needed them more than I realized,
and I was the one,
my dad said, you're gonna have to go with one of us,
because my dad got a job promotion
three months after my mom left,
and my dad didn't see that promotion coming,
he had to uproot and leave two hours,
or hour and a half, two hours away,
and I remember putting my foot down and saying,
I'm not going with either one of you,
I'm gonna go get my own apartment,
not even knowing how I was gonna do that,
but I was just like, that was it,
and I was a really good kid up until,
I mean, the last year was the hardest,
because my parents didn't talk
the whole last year of their marriage,
and I witnessed that,
and I think that was my way of needing to be in control,
and then also, I remember my friends
just being really important to me,
I grew up in a town when there was one high school,
everybody went to elementary school,
I was in high school,
and when you're 15, I think,
at least for me, and I think most teenagers,
they just think at some point,
like, their parents know nothing,
and they know everything,
and all that matters is your friends,
and so, but so here I found myself
living with the first family,
and the most depressed I'd ever been,
I should have been on antidepressants,
but I didn't believe in antidepressants,
I just realized how much I needed my parents,
and I didn't have them, you know?
So did you ever tell them that you needed them
when you realized that, or no?
I don't think so,
I remember supporting my mom on the other end of the phone,
like, her crying, and me consoling her,
so the roles were very reversed,
and my dad was an alcoholic, you know,
but he was the one paying the bills,
he came to visit me every month,
like, my dad really pulled through, you know,
like, I mean, I'll never forget that, you know,
and I know it's a parent's duty,
but my mom did the opposite,
like, she didn't do anything, you know?
Yeah, remind me, Lisa,
did you ever forgive yourself for moving out on your own?
Well, just to let you know,
my parents had dinner with a neighbor around the corner,
that used to be one,
one of their oldest kids was my brother's best friend,
and we had known them for years,
but I didn't really know them,
I mean, I knew them,
but their kids were older than me,
so, you know, they just, I don't know,
they said, we don't know what we're gonna do with Lisa,
this is what she's telling us,
and three days later,
I didn't know any of this had gone on,
and three days later, they had come by our house,
I wasn't even there when that happened,
and said, you know, we've really thought about this,
and we would love for Lisa to come live with us,
and so I did, you know,
and yeah, it was a whole different ballgame,
you know, being with a family who ran very differently,
and I had to grow up fast,
I had to grow up fast, you know,
I just, because I had to learn things,
I mean, I was very spoiled,
and so, you know, and I was in a family
that was very conservative with, you know, everything.
with how they spent money, everything, you know,
and it's just, I was 15, you know,
and it was really good for me in so many ways,
but also really hard.
So here's the key though,
even though you ended up with that other family,
you finally stood up,
and it sounds like even though you said,
so you were a good kid until then,
and I think that was true,
but I think you were a good kid
that was seeing things in your family that weren't adding up
and you probably felt a lot of different things about that
because to me, if dad is putting pressure on
and he's like, you gotta choose
who you're gonna live with,
a lot of girls would choose their mom.
Oh yeah, not me.
I mean, sorry.
No, and I don't mean that bad,
but that's what I'm saying,
like you felt really cornered
and I think you finally stood up for yourself
and I'm just asking you,
I don't think you did something wrong,
I think you did something really great,
but I'm wondering if,
because from that point on,
you realized how much you needed your parents,
but yet they weren't healthy,
so I'm just wondering if there's any guilt
still lingering on the inside of you
that you might need to just,
and again, you don't have to answer tonight,
but I would just bring into it
just to make sure,
regarding the control,
the best coaching I have for you
is just relinquish it,
just relinquish it, Lisa,
because here's the thing,
people are going to reject us,
they are, it's inevitable, okay?
I promise, like it's not easy,
but the reality is,
is we're all gonna face rejection at some point
and so the thing that we fear
sometimes is gonna come upon us,
as like Job talks about,
God does his best to protect us from those things,
but the reality is,
is that control is an illusion.
Totally.
And so we might as well just let the illusion go
and surrender and wave the white flag
and say, Lord, I surrender,
help me to let go of controlling,
help me to let go of what people think about me,
help me to let go of feeling like I have to,
how did you,
worrying about not being understood
or being misunderstood,
you know, whatever again that is for you
and really partner with that permission slip,
you remember in week one?
I have to go back,
that's the other thing too,
you know, just to let you know,
like I keep coming to these calls
thinking like I'm engaged,
when I am.
You're really engaged, yeah, you are.
Yeah, it's like I haven't gone back
to any of those paperworks,
you know, like the sheets
and I haven't been,
and I'm like, wait, what am I doing?
I thought I'm like, you know,
cause I'm in this a lot of change right now
with potentially moving and preparing
and my focus is over on something else,
you know what I mean?
So where are you at in the coursework?
Well, I am finished it,
but here's one thing I haven't finished
and this is kind of crazy
because I keep noticing
that I move this paperwork around a lot
and it's the forgiveness sheets.
I've done a lot of them,
but I have a bag of rocks,
remember how people would throw rocks
into the water to,
I just collected a bag
and I am literally moving that bag
and I'm like, oh my gosh,
this is hysterical.
Like I, it is so in my face
that I am not, I'm not.
So in a sense, okay,
let's look at this ladies,
this is really important.
I want you to know you're not alone.
Do you know how many people
actually message that the forgiveness
is like the thing that they're hung up on?
Okay.
I had a lady stay
and I'm not saying you should do this,
but I had a lady stay in Hartwork
an extra year
because she just did not want to forgive her ex-husband
and she confessed it over and over.
I don't want to forgive him.
So, you know, it took her a while to get there.
So here's the thing,
you've collected these rocks,
you have these sheets,
you're talking about letting go of control.
So think about this.
This is a version of having control.
If you look at it.
So I encourage you this week
to take those rocks
and find a pond
and let those suckers go
and, you know, release these people,
you know, work on the forgiveness sheets.
And here's the other thing
I really want you to pray into,
are you actually afraid to move forward?
You don't have to answer now,
but a lot of people that don't finish,
they finish the coursework,
but they have a couple little things,
which tends to be the forgiveness sheets.
This is very common.
They don't do those because what actually is underlying is either, A, they don't want
to forgive somebody, they just don't want to, or B, they're afraid to actually move
forward.
So really bring into that and let's see what comes up for you.
Yeah, I did want to give you some added information.
I have written a lot of forgiveness sheets, and I have experienced forgiveness in the
process.
But some of it still comes back and then I haven't forgiven them and I'm like, I'll
get reminded.
Well, you have.
You have.
Remember, there's layers to forgiveness, okay?
Yeah, I think that's what I think I expected it to be a one and done.
And it's it most times it's not going to be okay.
So that's why when we do the forgiveness prayer sheets, we want to be really specific about
what we're forgiving.
Okay, so not a general offense.
We want to get specific.
Yeah, I've been good at that.
I did.
I'm dog sitting.
I brought the sheets with me.
Yeah.
And ladies, here's the thing.
Some of you are waiting because you think you have to do this perfectly.
Lisa, I would say you're probably in that boat.
I wouldn't say you're probably 100% right.
And you're going to have hard work to do as you go forward.
I still have hard work that I do all the time.
Life brings hard work opportunities to us, okay?
And so there is no perfect.
There is no like, oh, I have to have done every single sheet.
You're going to do forgiveness prayer sheets, hopefully, even as you move forward and you
go on a date and the guys, not all men are bad, but ladies, some of you are going to
go on some dates and there's going to be some guys that are going to be jerks, okay?
I was going to let the cat out of the bag.
It's going to happen, okay?
But there's going to be some really awesome guys too.
And hopefully you'll focus more on that than the guys that still need healing because that's
the reality.
And you just bless people and move on.
So Lisa, pray into those things.
We're cheering you on and you know, you're doing a great job.
So just give yourself permission to let go, to move forward, to not be perfect, to know
that we love you, we see you, we hear you, and we're cheering you on.
Like you've got this.
And I think there's so many, many, like so, so many good things ahead for you.
And part of, part of stepping into our, the fullness of tomorrow is giving ourself permission
to move forward.
Okay?
Yeah.
And a lot of grief because I can see how this has really affected my life.
It's not just one thing.
It's all like coming up, but I think the Lord is, I know he's allowing it to heal me.
So that's, you know, he loves you, he loves all of you and he loves me and he loves us
so much that he doesn't want us to stay broken, stuck.
He doesn't want us to believe that we're abandoned.
I was talking to the young lady, the last thing I'll share with you all, and then I'm
going to start to close.
Tatiana, I'm sorry, I didn't get to you.
Debra, I saw your hand up.
Please come in the group and tell us, I see Joy's hand up now, tell us what you were going
to share.
Okay.
We can give you feedback there.
But one of the last things I'll share with you, I think I told you guys last week, we've
been going through a lot of stuff with some people in our church, and I feel like I'm
always saying that we just, we came into a church where we're trying to change culture.
We have a lot of people that have, you know, dealt with a lot of religion.
And so it's never an easy shift.
Okay.
Saying all that to say, we've been walking through a bunch of stuff.
Our office coordinator was on vacation for two weeks.
So praise the Lord, God protected her from having to walk through all of that at the
same time with us.
But I had to catch her up on some things today.
And the reason I'm bringing this up is because when I was talking to her today and just letting
her know, like, hey, you know, Pastor Brian and I have had two weeks to process this.
You're just learning about all of this today.
And so I just want you to know I'm here if you want to talk about it, all the things.
And I said, I just want you to know that we're okay and we're not going anywhere.
And she sighed and she said, thank God.
She's like, I had this dream when I was on vacation that you guys said you were going
to move.
And I was so afraid because I feel like everybody abandons me because the prior pastor left
and other people in her life, like her dad, left her, you know.
And so, ladies, I'm giving this as another example, like how much the enemy tries to
convince us that even.
God abandons us. Because at the core, that's something she's struggling with and so many of us
struggle with. So if you struggle with abandonment or neglect, y'all, it's going to show up in a lot
of different ways, okay? So pray into that. Ask God to show you the first time you believe that
He abandoned you or neglected you. Not just your parents, not just these people,
but God Himself. God can handle it. He has big shoulders, okay? I promise. He's not going to
be mad at you. He loves you and He's drawing you to Himself. Remember His loving kindness?
That's what leads us to repentance, ladies. So Lisa, loving kindness is what's going to lead
you to letting go of control as well. So again, take this, ladies. Process these things.
Praying for you all. I'm going to go ahead and pray this out, but I'll see you all in the group
as well. Come to women's prayer as much as you can, ladies, okay? Even if you are at work and
you can't talk, but you can listen in. I really believe it'll be a blessing to you. All right,
Father, thank you so much for everything that you accomplished tonight, even in people's hearts that
maybe they couldn't speak out. God, people that were chiming in in the chat, people that had their
hands raised, but they couldn't share their stories. God, I know the breakthrough is evident.
God, you're working in their lives. God, even in areas where they've gone through hardship in the
last week, and God, maybe even abandonment, rejection, fear, whatever has come up. God,
we just ask you to calm the storm. We thank you for placing the balm of Gilead upon our hearts,
God, for doing the supernatural work while we sleep, not just in our physical bodies,
but in our emotional being down in the depths of our soul. God, we thank you for
Jesus, who is our savior. Jesus, thank you for coming and allowing your body to be shed,
or excuse me, your blood to be shed and your body to be broken for the forgiveness of our sins,
for our healing, for our redemption. I thank you, God, that you don't leave us the way that you
found us, God, that you're always drawing us to the fullness of your plan and purpose for us.
Help us to take another step towards that again tonight and the days to come in Jesus' name.
Amen. God bless you, everyone. Have a good night. Bye.