WEBVTT

1
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:08.000
Hello, welcome. Hi, hi.

2
00:00:08.000 --> 00:00:16.000
I just when I logged in, there was some stuff in here from this afternoon. So I just thought that was interesting. I was trying to figure out why that was there. So welcome.

3
00:00:16.000 --> 00:00:33.000
Let's see here. Do I see some new faces? Is anyone here for the first time tonight? You've not been on a live session before, whether 1pm, 8pm. If so, put that in the chat for us so we can welcome you to all of my ladies joining again. Welcome back. We're so glad to have you here with us.

4
00:00:33.000 --> 00:00:51.000
I have been seeing so many great people processing and post things that are happening, people that are going out. Some of you all have been doing the activations and posting about it. And it's been a blessing for me to see. I know our other coaches have enjoyed reading those.

5
00:00:51.000 --> 00:01:11.000
I hope you all are seeing that and feeling some excitement, maybe got stirring some things in you as you read your sister's post as well. If you haven't taken a little bit of time to get into the community page on the app, I do recommend for you all to do that because you're going to learn from each other just even as other people in the group are processing.

6
00:01:11.000 --> 00:01:30.000
And I hope that you will lean into that a little more in the days to come if you have not already. If you've not met me before, my name is Bethany Cooper. I'm one of the master heartwork coaches here in the community. I work on the executive team for Last Year Single. And it's just an honor to be in this community and to be in this heartwork coaching group and on this journey with all of you.

7
00:01:30.000 --> 00:01:53.000
And we have Andrea Jezelnik, who also coaches in our group, as well as Kelly Stotler. And so you all will hear from them as well. Some of you will see Andrea on our 1 p.m. sessions. And so if you haven't met them yet, you will. And again, we're so glad that you're here. I see a couple people joining for the first time. Beth, welcome. Totally okay if some of you aren't dressed for on camera.

8
00:01:53.000 --> 00:02:22.000
Just want to encourage those of you that can come on camera to continue to practice doing that, to be intentional. Hey, you all, I put on a cute hat and put a couple curls in my hair. You know, sometimes you just do a little tiny bit. Again, like I didn't have to. I could have totally gone on here and just had my hair straight and that would have been fine too. But I'm like, you know what? I'm going to put a couple curls in. I'm going to work in the divine feminine. I don't even know if you guys can even see the curls, but it felt good to do it because I've been working hard all day.

9
00:02:23.000 --> 00:02:39.000
I wanted to come in fresh and ready to go for y'all tonight. And so truly what we put into ourselves, it does cause us to show up differently. So I just want you to be thinking and praying about how you present yourself to the world.

10
00:02:39.000 --> 00:03:05.000
You know, in this heart healing journey, you're going to be kind of allowing God to rid you of things that don't belong in your heart anymore and to help you move forward into healing in a lot of ways. And some of that is to continue to really look at, okay, I don't know about any of you all, but I've done this in the past where you, you know, you go through seasons where maybe you're not super happy with, you know, body or other things and you start covering up, layering up.

11
00:03:06.000 --> 00:03:33.000
When you live in Florida, you can't really wear layers y'all. It's so hot here. So humid. So you can't escape it. But anyways, you know, maybe it's like, you know, you're going out our society now. A lot of people just wear like yoga pants everywhere. I'm not knocking that, but I'm saying like, sometimes we get really comfortable just being cozy and comfortable, but I want you all to start practicing divine feminine more and more.

12
00:03:33.000 --> 00:04:01.000
What does that mean? What does that look like Lord for me? Maybe it's wearing a cute pair of jeans. And when you go out one night with your friends, wearing some pumps, wearing some heels with those cute jeans, I don't know. I'm just giving you ideas, but where you can kind of just level it up a little bit, you know, maybe go out and buy yourself a new top with some ruffle shoulders. You guys don't like that. Okay. Maybe there's again, a different type of style that you like, but God will lead you to things that look divinely feminine on you.

13
00:04:01.000 --> 00:04:29.000
And so welcome again, if you're joining us, we're so glad that you're here. A couple other things. If you haven't done an introduction post in our group would love for y'all to do that, you know, in the next few days. And really what we're looking for is just for you to say, Hey, this is me pick a picture that you love of yourself. It can be you by yourself. It can be you with your kids or dog or whatever you like, but a picture that you love of yourself. Tell us a little bit about who you are. What led you here?

14
00:04:29.000 --> 00:04:51.000
Maybe a couple of your hobbies, because this is how you all are going to get to know each other too. It's how we're going to get to know you. And that's how you're going to get to know each other. And some of you might find that you have some stuff in common, and that can be a really good find in this community. Again, the spirit bait is the cherry on top. Some of y'all are going to find your best friends here, even though you might have some friends already.

15
00:04:51.000 --> 00:04:59.000
You know, you just never know if God might ask you to let go of a certain friendship that's been toxic and not serving you really well.

16
00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:04.800
open and make room for something new. And so be open to that. We'd love for you to

17
00:05:04.800 --> 00:05:07.760
put that post in the community group so we can get to know you a little bit

18
00:05:07.760 --> 00:05:12.480
better. Replay plug from Saturday, Supernatural Saturday you all. Picture

19
00:05:12.480 --> 00:05:18.600
yourself winning. What? Yes. You guys hopefully will take time if you haven't

20
00:05:18.600 --> 00:05:22.480
heard that message already to listen to it this week and really prepare your

21
00:05:22.480 --> 00:05:28.080
heart because some of you are in here in the heart work hoping that you meet a

22
00:05:28.080 --> 00:05:35.880
husband one day but some of you don't even believe that you can. Okay? Legit.

23
00:05:35.880 --> 00:05:40.240
Some of you don't even know for sure if you really don't want to be single

24
00:05:40.240 --> 00:05:44.800
anymore. So I would encourage you to listen to that and really be open. I love

25
00:05:44.800 --> 00:05:49.680
that Jackie addressed that it's not just about the romantic relationship. This is

26
00:05:49.680 --> 00:05:54.520
about where have you not been winning in your life and where does God want to

27
00:05:54.520 --> 00:05:58.400
help you win in the days to come. All right? I'm gonna open with prayer and

28
00:05:58.400 --> 00:06:01.800
then we're gonna go right into content and go forward tonight. Father thank you

29
00:06:01.800 --> 00:06:06.040
so much for this night. We thank you for everything that you're doing. We thank

30
00:06:06.040 --> 00:06:09.160
you that you're making room in our hearts and our lives God that you're

31
00:06:09.160 --> 00:06:13.520
transforming us from the inside out. I pray that every woman that would hear

32
00:06:13.520 --> 00:06:19.320
tonight God that they would be here fully present. That you would just remove

33
00:06:19.320 --> 00:06:25.200
distractions of the enemy. Old boyfriends popping up. Kids just not you

34
00:06:25.200 --> 00:06:29.880
know going haywire. Whatever it is. Friends that need help all of a sudden

35
00:06:29.880 --> 00:06:33.480
that are just really centered in drama. Lord that you just silence all of that.

36
00:06:33.480 --> 00:06:39.000
That you would protect these ladies and help them to really put themselves first

37
00:06:39.000 --> 00:06:42.400
in this time. We thank you God for the revealings for healing that have already

38
00:06:42.400 --> 00:06:45.120
been happening and supernatural breakthroughs. We're asking for an

39
00:06:45.120 --> 00:06:49.440
acceleration on that. God that you would breathe the breath of God on us. That you

40
00:06:49.440 --> 00:06:53.160
would fill us with fresh hope. God that you would restore the broken and fallen

41
00:06:53.160 --> 00:06:57.120
places in our lives. And we just thank you God that you never leave us the way

42
00:06:57.120 --> 00:07:01.000
that you found us God. That you're always leading us back to the original plan and

43
00:07:01.000 --> 00:07:04.840
design and purpose you have for us. So Father we just thank you. Holy Spirit

44
00:07:04.840 --> 00:07:09.000
thank you for being here. I ask you to just come and have your way in our

45
00:07:09.000 --> 00:07:13.480
hearts and our minds. Guide and direct our conversations. Let it all be edifying

46
00:07:13.520 --> 00:07:20.560
to you in Jesus name. Amen. So tonight we're talking about forgiveness y'all.

47
00:07:20.560 --> 00:07:27.360
And you know one of the things I love to talk about during forgiveness and I did

48
00:07:27.360 --> 00:07:30.480
forget my sunglasses. I normally do a demonstration so I'll just have you guys

49
00:07:30.480 --> 00:07:40.560
use your imagination tonight. But I want you to think about things that you have

50
00:07:40.600 --> 00:07:45.800
wanted to let go of. That you have struggled to let go of. Whether it's a

51
00:07:45.800 --> 00:07:51.200
person that hurt you, an offense, you know something that someone said that it

52
00:07:51.200 --> 00:07:57.320
just really rubbed you the wrong way. Maybe it was you know something that you

53
00:07:57.320 --> 00:08:03.080
chose for your own life that didn't lead you in a good direction. There's so many

54
00:08:03.080 --> 00:08:07.640
levels and layers of forgiveness you all. Maybe it was someone way back in

55
00:08:07.640 --> 00:08:11.360
elementary school that you thought you forgot about and now all of a sudden

56
00:08:11.360 --> 00:08:17.520
this memory is popping back up. And if it hasn't yet it might. But there's things

57
00:08:17.520 --> 00:08:25.520
maybe a teacher that scolded you. I had a lady she told me this one time that she

58
00:08:25.520 --> 00:08:31.600
was dyslexic. Sorry I'm looking for my heart workbook. She was dyslexic and they

59
00:08:31.600 --> 00:08:37.480
had an assignment to read in front of the class. And she struggled to do it

60
00:08:37.480 --> 00:08:43.960
because of her dyslexia that she was struggling with. And she not only got

61
00:08:43.960 --> 00:08:47.240
embarrassed by the things the teacher said to her in front of the class but

62
00:08:47.240 --> 00:08:53.320
she got reprimanded. And all the other kids got to go outside and play and she

63
00:08:53.320 --> 00:08:59.680
had to stay in the classroom at a desk with the lights off. And you know this

64
00:08:59.680 --> 00:09:05.440
this woman that I'm talking about is like in her mid-70s you all. And she went

65
00:09:05.440 --> 00:09:11.560
through heart work probably about two years ago. So about 73 or 74. And this is

66
00:09:11.560 --> 00:09:16.800
one of the things that came up in her. You know she had long like not forgot

67
00:09:16.800 --> 00:09:20.240
forgotten that situation. She hadn't thought about in a long time but she had

68
00:09:20.240 --> 00:09:26.320
never forgiven that teacher. So I really want y'all to trust this process. What

69
00:09:26.320 --> 00:09:32.160
comes up needs to come up. Okay. God is he knows the places in the recess of our

70
00:09:32.160 --> 00:09:36.400
hearts where these things they're stored in these crevices if you will. And he

71
00:09:36.400 --> 00:09:41.760
loves us so much. He's not bringing it up to hurt us or to hurt you. He's bringing

72
00:09:41.760 --> 00:09:47.040
it up to lead you to freedom. To lead you into healing. To lead you into life. That

73
00:09:47.040 --> 00:09:52.320
was keeping her bound more to her struggle with dyslexia. It wasn't her

74
00:09:52.320 --> 00:09:56.480
fault. She didn't even know that was still down in there. Now she still

75
00:09:56.480 --> 00:10:01.760
struggles but y'all she has like excelled.

76
00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:02.440
in ways that she hadn't in the past.

77
00:10:02.440 --> 00:10:05.740
Like even being really courageous to post in the group

78
00:10:05.740 --> 00:10:07.360
where she used to be really timid and shy

79
00:10:07.360 --> 00:10:08.720
about that kind of stuff,

80
00:10:08.720 --> 00:10:10.280
talking openly on groups

81
00:10:10.280 --> 00:10:12.480
where she didn't used to do that either.

82
00:10:12.480 --> 00:10:13.580
When I first met her,

83
00:10:13.580 --> 00:10:16.920
I met her years before she came into the program,

84
00:10:16.920 --> 00:10:19.800
she was afraid to even pray out loud.

85
00:10:19.800 --> 00:10:21.380
And this is someone that now prays

86
00:10:21.380 --> 00:10:23.320
on a regular basis in our community.

87
00:10:23.320 --> 00:10:26.820
So no matter what kind of condition you came in with,

88
00:10:26.820 --> 00:10:30.060
God can literally change your life.

89
00:10:30.060 --> 00:10:32.100
And just trusting him in this process

90
00:10:32.100 --> 00:10:33.700
is really, really important.

91
00:10:33.700 --> 00:10:36.580
And so as we kind of lean into this forgiveness,

92
00:10:36.580 --> 00:10:38.500
I want you to be thinking about just again,

93
00:10:38.500 --> 00:10:41.500
those kinds of things that might percolate to the surface

94
00:10:41.500 --> 00:10:44.360
and be really careful to not push that stuff back down.

95
00:10:44.360 --> 00:10:45.900
Just jot it on your paper,

96
00:10:45.900 --> 00:10:47.540
make your notes in your phone,

97
00:10:47.540 --> 00:10:50.160
whatever you have so that you don't forget,

98
00:10:50.160 --> 00:10:51.300
because then you wanna go back

99
00:10:51.300 --> 00:10:53.100
and circle back to that with the Lord

100
00:10:53.100 --> 00:10:55.380
and ask him some really good questions.

101
00:10:55.380 --> 00:10:58.220
I'm gonna start tonight's like actual content

102
00:10:58.220 --> 00:11:00.140
with this quote from Martin Luther King Jr.

103
00:11:00.140 --> 00:11:01.620
This is what it says,

104
00:11:01.620 --> 00:11:06.180
"'We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive.

105
00:11:06.180 --> 00:11:09.780
"'He who is devout of the power to forgive

106
00:11:09.780 --> 00:11:12.380
"'is devout of the power to love.'"

107
00:11:14.180 --> 00:11:16.340
So my question for you all as you're processing

108
00:11:16.340 --> 00:11:19.540
is what is my capacity to forgive?

109
00:11:20.940 --> 00:11:23.700
Some of you feel like it's impossible

110
00:11:23.700 --> 00:11:27.300
to forgive certain people or certain situations.

111
00:11:27.300 --> 00:11:28.940
And I know it can feel like that,

112
00:11:28.940 --> 00:11:30.940
but that's why we have to choose to forgive.

113
00:11:30.940 --> 00:11:32.700
We don't let our feelings drive

114
00:11:32.700 --> 00:11:34.440
and be in that driver's seat.

115
00:11:34.440 --> 00:11:36.900
We choose to forgive because Christ has forgiven us,

116
00:11:36.900 --> 00:11:38.760
and we're gonna get into that tonight.

117
00:11:38.760 --> 00:11:43.060
But where you feel like you don't have capacity to forgive,

118
00:11:43.060 --> 00:11:45.500
I wanna encourage you to first pray,

119
00:11:45.500 --> 00:11:49.500
Lord, will you increase my capacity to forgive?

120
00:11:49.500 --> 00:11:51.420
Lord, will you help me to remember

121
00:11:51.420 --> 00:11:56.420
all that you have forgiven me of as well, okay?

122
00:11:56.580 --> 00:11:59.140
Forgiveness along with repentance and confession

123
00:12:00.100 --> 00:12:02.220
is the only thing that has the power

124
00:12:02.220 --> 00:12:06.300
to put you back in touch with your authentic self.

125
00:12:06.300 --> 00:12:09.980
Y'all, even recently, I briefly told you all

126
00:12:09.980 --> 00:12:14.300
we've been up against this really interesting dynamic

127
00:12:14.300 --> 00:12:15.920
as we're in the fostering process.

128
00:12:15.920 --> 00:12:18.700
The person that just happened to get our paperwork

129
00:12:18.700 --> 00:12:19.740
is an atheist.

130
00:12:20.740 --> 00:12:22.340
It's not going great.

131
00:12:23.260 --> 00:12:25.680
I wish I could say something different.

132
00:12:25.680 --> 00:12:30.680
But yesterday morning in worship,

133
00:12:31.020 --> 00:12:33.820
I just remember thinking, okay, Lord,

134
00:12:33.820 --> 00:12:36.680
I'm just gonna choose to forgive all these people recently

135
00:12:36.680 --> 00:12:37.820
that have been against us,

136
00:12:37.820 --> 00:12:41.400
that the enemy has been using to oppose us.

137
00:12:42.500 --> 00:12:46.180
And I just started forgiving all the people I could think of.

138
00:12:46.180 --> 00:12:48.740
I don't even know this person's name.

139
00:12:48.740 --> 00:12:50.860
I don't, but God does.

140
00:12:50.860 --> 00:12:53.100
And I just started praying, God,

141
00:12:53.100 --> 00:12:55.540
I don't know what's led them to be where they're at.

142
00:12:55.540 --> 00:12:58.340
I don't know what's led them to even unjustly accuse us

143
00:12:58.340 --> 00:13:00.300
of things that they don't even know us.

144
00:13:01.620 --> 00:13:03.580
And just because we're Christians

145
00:13:03.580 --> 00:13:05.140
and we live on church property,

146
00:13:05.140 --> 00:13:07.700
like there's this whole thing happening.

147
00:13:07.700 --> 00:13:08.920
God, I forgive them.

148
00:13:09.900 --> 00:13:11.740
I forgive them no matter what the outcome is.

149
00:13:11.740 --> 00:13:14.620
God, I pray that you would use my story

150
00:13:14.620 --> 00:13:16.060
to reach them for you.

151
00:13:16.060 --> 00:13:18.500
And I just started praying into that.

152
00:13:19.260 --> 00:13:21.620
And I don't know if that's gonna change, I don't.

153
00:13:21.620 --> 00:13:24.860
But I trust God, I trust in his goodness.

154
00:13:24.860 --> 00:13:26.480
He knows what he's doing.

155
00:13:27.460 --> 00:13:30.500
Maybe that's not the right direction for us right now.

156
00:13:33.020 --> 00:13:36.060
And so I use that because that's a fresh example

157
00:13:36.060 --> 00:13:38.720
of choosing to forgive even when it's hard.

158
00:13:40.620 --> 00:13:45.260
I feel like it's been unjust, like it's not fair.

159
00:13:45.260 --> 00:13:47.620
But I trust in the one that,

160
00:13:47.620 --> 00:13:49.860
he like holds my life in his hand.

161
00:13:49.860 --> 00:13:51.940
He's not gonna fail me.

162
00:13:51.940 --> 00:13:56.100
He might be redirecting us, but he's not gonna fail us

163
00:13:56.100 --> 00:13:58.220
because he's never failed me before.

164
00:13:58.220 --> 00:14:00.820
And so for some of you, you might not be there yet.

165
00:14:00.820 --> 00:14:02.220
Okay, and that's all right.

166
00:14:02.220 --> 00:14:05.100
But God will help you get there.

167
00:14:05.100 --> 00:14:06.960
One of the things I've learned over the years

168
00:14:06.960 --> 00:14:10.820
is to keep short accounts to the best of my ability,

169
00:14:10.820 --> 00:14:12.780
to keep short accounts with God,

170
00:14:12.780 --> 00:14:16.320
to make sure my heart is as clean as I can.

171
00:14:17.660 --> 00:14:19.500
The Bible says, create in me a clean heart, oh God,

172
00:14:19.500 --> 00:14:21.380
and renew a steadfast spirit in me.

173
00:14:22.980 --> 00:14:25.380
And so just even that's something I pray a lot.

174
00:14:25.380 --> 00:14:28.280
Like, Lord, clean, help me.

175
00:14:28.280 --> 00:14:30.940
Help me to get the stuff out of me that doesn't belong here,

176
00:14:30.940 --> 00:14:34.040
that stops the flow of your spirit in my life.

177
00:14:34.040 --> 00:14:35.860
Because I don't wanna be bitter.

178
00:14:35.860 --> 00:14:37.340
I don't wanna be full of resentment.

179
00:14:37.340 --> 00:14:40.480
I don't wanna be someone that partners with unforgiveness.

180
00:14:40.480 --> 00:14:41.860
I wanna be known for love.

181
00:14:41.860 --> 00:14:44.580
Literally, the legacy I wanna leave,

182
00:14:44.580 --> 00:14:47.820
I wanna be known for loving people,

183
00:14:48.860 --> 00:14:51.500
even when it was very, very hard.

184
00:14:53.380 --> 00:14:55.060
And so, I'm not sure,

185
00:14:55.060 --> 00:14:56.860
maybe some of you might even need to think about

186
00:14:56.860 --> 00:14:58.260
what do you want your legacy?

187
00:14:58.260 --> 00:14:59.100
What do you want?

188
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:02.560
I know this might sound morbid, but we can even pray, like,

189
00:15:02.560 --> 00:15:05.120
what if something happened to me today?

190
00:15:05.120 --> 00:15:08.680
What would I want my obituary to say?

191
00:15:08.680 --> 00:15:11.360
And you all, being someone that's unforgiving,

192
00:15:11.360 --> 00:15:13.640
I don't know that any of us want that.

193
00:15:13.640 --> 00:15:15.840
And not that people would write that in our obituary,

194
00:15:15.840 --> 00:15:18.360
but it's good for us to think about these things.

195
00:15:18.360 --> 00:15:19.880
What would our kids say about us?

196
00:15:19.880 --> 00:15:22.240
What would our family members say?

197
00:15:22.240 --> 00:15:26.000
You know, where we can pray and really seek the Lord about,

198
00:15:26.000 --> 00:15:28.720
what is He doing in the midst of all the things that

199
00:15:28.720 --> 00:15:31.840
are happening, and how is He working it together for good

200
00:15:31.840 --> 00:15:35.040
to save many people alive?

201
00:15:35.040 --> 00:15:38.400
Genesis 50-20.

202
00:15:38.400 --> 00:15:40.080
There's purpose in your pain.

203
00:15:40.080 --> 00:15:42.360
God's not doing it to you, but He absolutely

204
00:15:42.360 --> 00:15:46.000
will use it if you'll give it to Him.

205
00:15:46.000 --> 00:15:48.240
When we forgive people, it breaks tethers.

206
00:15:48.240 --> 00:15:50.280
I always try to think and explain tethers

207
00:15:50.280 --> 00:15:52.640
as almost like if you can think of something just literally

208
00:15:52.640 --> 00:15:54.960
connected to another thing, OK?

209
00:15:55.000 --> 00:15:58.960
So whatever is the situation is here, and you're here.

210
00:15:58.960 --> 00:16:00.800
If you're walking in unforgiveness,

211
00:16:00.800 --> 00:16:03.880
it's literally keeping us bound to those things.

212
00:16:03.880 --> 00:16:06.320
But if we will choose to forgive,

213
00:16:06.320 --> 00:16:07.480
that starts to break away.

214
00:16:07.480 --> 00:16:09.760
That starts to lose its hold on us.

215
00:16:09.760 --> 00:16:12.840
And we start to be able to flow in all of the things

216
00:16:12.840 --> 00:16:14.240
that God has for us.

217
00:16:14.240 --> 00:16:16.800
And so I always love to give this example

218
00:16:16.800 --> 00:16:19.720
because it makes me laugh and smile every time I tell it.

219
00:16:19.720 --> 00:16:21.600
But tetherball is a game we used to play

220
00:16:21.600 --> 00:16:23.720
in my elementary school days.

221
00:16:23.720 --> 00:16:26.760
And you have this rope that's connected to a ball,

222
00:16:26.760 --> 00:16:28.480
and you connect it to this pole, and kids

223
00:16:28.480 --> 00:16:30.120
stand around and punch it around.

224
00:16:30.120 --> 00:16:32.160
And I don't even know what else we did,

225
00:16:32.160 --> 00:16:34.800
but that's the main goal, you know?

226
00:16:34.800 --> 00:16:39.560
And you're playing this game, but that ball,

227
00:16:39.560 --> 00:16:42.280
unless someone removes it, will now

228
00:16:42.280 --> 00:16:46.200
stay connected to that pole.

229
00:16:46.200 --> 00:16:48.920
We've got some champions of tetherball in here, too.

230
00:16:48.920 --> 00:16:50.520
All right, yeah.

231
00:16:50.520 --> 00:16:52.240
Yeah, I used to whack away at that thing.

232
00:16:52.240 --> 00:16:54.240
Sometimes you'd have a bad day, and you're just

233
00:16:54.240 --> 00:16:55.640
whacking it like crazy.

234
00:16:55.640 --> 00:16:58.360
Yeah, but that ball, it can't go anywhere now

235
00:16:58.360 --> 00:17:00.880
because the rope is now connected to the pole.

236
00:17:00.880 --> 00:17:03.520
And I want you to think about that regarding unforgiveness

237
00:17:03.520 --> 00:17:04.319
as well.

238
00:17:04.319 --> 00:17:07.200
It's like that is what connects us.

239
00:17:07.200 --> 00:17:09.200
That rope that's connecting to the pole,

240
00:17:09.200 --> 00:17:10.640
that's unforgiveness.

241
00:17:10.640 --> 00:17:11.720
We're the ball.

242
00:17:11.720 --> 00:17:15.400
Hopefully we're not getting whacked around in life.

243
00:17:15.400 --> 00:17:16.880
But some of us are.

244
00:17:16.880 --> 00:17:18.680
Some of us have been.

245
00:17:18.680 --> 00:17:21.200
But God wants to help us overcome that.

246
00:17:21.200 --> 00:17:23.079
And I believe the Holy Spirit is literally

247
00:17:23.079 --> 00:17:26.400
wanting to come and unbind that rope from the pole,

248
00:17:26.400 --> 00:17:27.319
so to speak.

249
00:17:27.319 --> 00:17:31.520
He wants to unlatch what's kept you locked, stuck, held back,

250
00:17:31.520 --> 00:17:33.320
where you feel like you try to move forward.

251
00:17:33.320 --> 00:17:35.320
And every time you move two steps forward,

252
00:17:35.320 --> 00:17:36.160
I get knocked back.

253
00:17:36.160 --> 00:17:37.520
Anybody ever say that?

254
00:17:37.520 --> 00:17:39.320
Every time I'm two steps forward,

255
00:17:39.320 --> 00:17:41.760
I get knocked back down.

256
00:17:41.760 --> 00:17:44.520
You know, in that old song, I get back up again.

257
00:17:44.520 --> 00:17:48.480
But so many of us, we focus on the getting knocked down.

258
00:17:48.480 --> 00:17:51.080
But what about those two steps we took forward?

259
00:17:51.960 --> 00:17:53.760
That's pretty great, right?

260
00:17:53.760 --> 00:17:55.560
But let's not be people that partner even

261
00:17:55.560 --> 00:17:56.760
with those kind of statements.

262
00:17:56.760 --> 00:17:58.960
Let's just, okay, yeah, that hurt.

263
00:17:58.960 --> 00:18:00.120
That didn't feel good.

264
00:18:00.120 --> 00:18:02.160
Praise the Lord, I'm moving forward.

265
00:18:02.160 --> 00:18:03.040
I'm moving forward.

266
00:18:03.040 --> 00:18:04.240
I'm making progress.

267
00:18:04.240 --> 00:18:07.240
And He goes before us in everything that we're doing.

268
00:18:07.240 --> 00:18:10.600
So when we forgive people, including ourselves,

269
00:18:11.560 --> 00:18:14.240
we're literally releasing them,

270
00:18:14.240 --> 00:18:16.280
but we're also releasing ourselves.

271
00:18:17.840 --> 00:18:19.800
I want you to think about that, really.

272
00:18:20.800 --> 00:18:22.040
Remember the tether?

273
00:18:22.040 --> 00:18:26.160
When we don't forgive, we're connected to those people.

274
00:18:26.160 --> 00:18:28.480
But when we forgive, we release them,

275
00:18:28.480 --> 00:18:31.720
we release ourselves, and we can walk into freedom.

276
00:18:31.720 --> 00:18:34.240
And so I mentioned the sunglasses

277
00:18:34.240 --> 00:18:37.480
because when we first moved here to Florida,

278
00:18:37.480 --> 00:18:38.360
thought it was so funny.

279
00:18:38.360 --> 00:18:41.760
I used to bring these sunglasses and just talk about this.

280
00:18:41.760 --> 00:18:44.160
But I'm gonna do it without them tonight.

281
00:18:44.160 --> 00:18:46.040
We were sitting at the beach one day,

282
00:18:46.200 --> 00:18:49.040
and I was talking to my husband

283
00:18:49.040 --> 00:18:51.200
about these peach clouds in the sky.

284
00:18:51.200 --> 00:18:52.800
And he's like, what are you talking about?

285
00:18:52.800 --> 00:18:54.280
There's not peach clouds in the sky.

286
00:18:54.280 --> 00:18:55.960
And I was like, yeah, I'm like pointing.

287
00:18:55.960 --> 00:18:57.280
And I'm like, they're right there.

288
00:18:57.280 --> 00:18:58.720
Like, you don't see those?

289
00:18:58.720 --> 00:19:00.400
He's like, what are you talking about?

290
00:19:00.400 --> 00:19:02.280
There's no peach clouds.

291
00:19:03.360 --> 00:19:07.000
And then I realized, well, it's because of my sunglasses

292
00:19:07.000 --> 00:19:09.080
that I'm seeing these peach clouds.

293
00:19:09.080 --> 00:19:10.240
And I know that sounds silly,

294
00:19:10.240 --> 00:19:11.840
but I don't know if you guys have ever done that.

295
00:19:11.840 --> 00:19:14.680
Sometimes you have sunglasses on your head or your glasses,

296
00:19:14.720 --> 00:19:16.640
and you're looking for your glasses or whatever everywhere,

297
00:19:16.640 --> 00:19:18.240
and they're literally on your head.

298
00:19:18.240 --> 00:19:20.200
Okay, maybe again, I'm the only one.

299
00:19:20.200 --> 00:19:22.400
But sometimes I'm wearing my sunglasses

300
00:19:22.400 --> 00:19:24.160
and I forget I have them on.

301
00:19:24.160 --> 00:19:26.760
The other day, we have this new thing in my car

302
00:19:28.400 --> 00:19:32.160
where now the things for the road, they show up projected.

303
00:19:32.160 --> 00:19:33.560
Anybody ever seen this yet?

304
00:19:33.560 --> 00:19:36.240
They show up projected in your line of view.

305
00:19:36.240 --> 00:19:38.040
Well, when I wore my sunglasses the other day,

306
00:19:38.040 --> 00:19:39.160
I could hardly see it.

307
00:19:41.000 --> 00:19:43.640
So two different examples.

308
00:19:43.640 --> 00:19:46.560
Oh, we got a mute there.

309
00:19:46.560 --> 00:19:47.720
There we go.

310
00:19:47.720 --> 00:19:49.640
So two different perspectives,

311
00:19:49.640 --> 00:19:51.280
but the reason I'm bringing it up

312
00:19:51.280 --> 00:19:56.120
is these sunglasses are changing how I see things.

313
00:19:57.440 --> 00:20:00.120
From the clouds looking peach that were not peach.

314
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:07.000
to the thing in my car that I should be able to see clearly, but I can barely see it.

315
00:20:07.000 --> 00:20:09.500
Why am I using this as an example?

316
00:20:09.500 --> 00:20:15.000
Well, because unforgiveness, it causes that. It's like a filter.

317
00:20:15.000 --> 00:20:19.500
It causes us to see people and the world around us differently.

318
00:20:19.500 --> 00:20:24.500
We show up differently when we have unforgiveness and bitterness and resentment in our souls.

319
00:20:25.000 --> 00:20:31.500
And we're bringing that, we're carrying that into every interaction that we have.

320
00:20:31.500 --> 00:20:35.000
It impacts our ability to give and receive love to people.

321
00:20:35.000 --> 00:20:40.000
We might show up in relationships, but a lot of us really, if we have unforgiveness and bitterness

322
00:20:40.000 --> 00:20:47.000
and a lot of pain from the past, there's a lot of ourselves that we hold back from other people.

323
00:20:47.000 --> 00:20:55.000
And it really can impact our ability to remain in connection with God, ourselves, and other people.

324
00:20:55.000 --> 00:21:02.500
Some of you, one of the first things that you really need to hone in on is like connecting with who you are.

325
00:21:02.500 --> 00:21:05.000
What is it that you love?

326
00:21:05.000 --> 00:21:10.500
Not just, oh, yeah, you just go with your friends, you go with this person, or whatever they like to do is what you do.

327
00:21:10.500 --> 00:21:12.500
No, like, what do you really love?

328
00:21:12.500 --> 00:21:18.500
What makes you come alive and waken up in your spirit that you just really love to do?

329
00:21:18.500 --> 00:21:21.000
And don't feel bad if you don't know that answer yet.

330
00:21:21.000 --> 00:21:23.000
I think that's part of the journey.

331
00:21:23.000 --> 00:21:27.000
Because when literal bad things happen, what happens?

332
00:21:27.000 --> 00:21:31.000
We forget stuff, and then good stuff kind of gets sucked down with it.

333
00:21:31.000 --> 00:21:36.000
And even parts of who we are kind of get a little diminished, don't they?

334
00:21:36.500 --> 00:21:45.000
But when the Bible says, arise, arise, oh sleeper, and wake up from the dead, hope is shining on us.

335
00:21:45.000 --> 00:21:47.000
The light of the world is shining on us.

336
00:21:47.000 --> 00:21:56.000
Well, part of that is that sleeper, when we go through stuff, it causes us to kind of go to sleep in some areas.

337
00:21:56.000 --> 00:22:02.000
And so God is speaking to you tonight, and he's saying, arise, shine, for your light has come.

338
00:22:02.000 --> 00:22:05.500
For the glory of the Lord has risen upon you.

339
00:22:05.500 --> 00:22:07.500
And he's calling you out of the grave site.

340
00:22:07.500 --> 00:22:12.500
He's calling you out of the places where you felt dead, alone, isolated.

341
00:22:13.500 --> 00:22:17.500
Where you felt forgotten, where you felt abandoned in whatever that situation was.

342
00:22:17.500 --> 00:22:20.500
Maybe you felt shame because of a decision you made.

343
00:22:21.500 --> 00:22:24.500
And he's saying, the prison gates are open, ladies.

344
00:22:25.500 --> 00:22:28.500
It's up to us to go out of the prison.

345
00:22:29.500 --> 00:22:33.500
Some of you are holding yourself in a prison that you were never intended to be in.

346
00:22:33.500 --> 00:22:37.500
The reason I was also talking about the sunglasses is that we all have blind spots.

347
00:22:37.500 --> 00:22:42.500
You know, I talked about filters and how the sunglasses impacted how I was seeing something.

348
00:22:42.500 --> 00:22:45.500
Well, I want you to understand we also have these blind spots.

349
00:22:45.500 --> 00:22:47.500
You know, just think about it like you're driving.

350
00:22:47.500 --> 00:22:49.500
Most of us know what a blind spot is.

351
00:22:49.500 --> 00:22:54.500
It means, literally, something is in a spot that you cannot see it.

352
00:22:55.500 --> 00:22:59.500
Sometimes we are deceived, and we don't even know we're deceived.

353
00:22:59.500 --> 00:23:04.500
Sometimes, you know, we don't have a revelation of why we keep doing the same thing.

354
00:23:04.500 --> 00:23:09.500
For some of you that have been here for a few weeks, God knows the why behind our what.

355
00:23:10.500 --> 00:23:12.500
And he wants to show that to us.

356
00:23:13.500 --> 00:23:16.500
Especially if it's leading us down a road that isn't good for us.

357
00:23:16.500 --> 00:23:17.500
But here's some other things.

358
00:23:19.500 --> 00:23:22.500
A blind spot can also cause situations like this.

359
00:23:22.500 --> 00:23:26.500
When you walk into any situation, it doesn't matter what it is, bad or good.

360
00:23:27.500 --> 00:23:32.500
You don't see that thing, those people, those places the way that they are.

361
00:23:33.500 --> 00:23:37.500
You see them the way that you are on the inside.

362
00:23:38.500 --> 00:23:39.500
Why don't you think about that?

363
00:23:40.500 --> 00:23:48.500
When we go into places and we interact with people, we're not looking and seeing them typically how they are.

364
00:23:49.500 --> 00:23:52.500
We're looking and seeing them how we are on the inside.

365
00:23:53.500 --> 00:23:57.500
So we don't see things the way that they truly are, we see them the way that we are.

366
00:23:58.500 --> 00:24:00.500
For instance, okay, this is a huge example.

367
00:24:01.500 --> 00:24:04.500
Let's say you were hurt in a big group, like a group of people.

368
00:24:05.500 --> 00:24:07.500
Maybe it's a friend group, maybe it's something at church.

369
00:24:08.500 --> 00:24:12.500
These people mistreated you, maybe they lied about you and then discarded you.

370
00:24:13.500 --> 00:24:15.500
Maybe it was a spouse, you can apply it there as well.

371
00:24:15.500 --> 00:24:25.500
The heart wounds and lies that were created as a result of those traumas will give us a skewed perception of the groups or those people or the gender of people in the future.

372
00:24:26.500 --> 00:24:33.500
We might avoid groups and communities or in this case, we can also apply it to some of us have been hurt by women or our moms.

373
00:24:34.500 --> 00:24:36.500
And so we believe all women are not safe.

374
00:24:37.500 --> 00:24:39.500
Again, you can apply this however it applies to you.

375
00:24:40.500 --> 00:24:50.500
But we start to avoid those people, those situations, those dynamics like the plague, convincing ourselves that they're all bad, that we're not safe there.

376
00:24:51.500 --> 00:24:53.500
We might try again to search for community.

377
00:24:54.500 --> 00:24:58.500
But if we decide to join a similar community or go around and try to make friends or try to date,

378
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:11.040
what ends up happening, our most significant obstacle to becoming like where we belong

379
00:25:11.680 --> 00:25:19.440
from being on the isolation and the outside is literally the filter that was created by our

380
00:25:19.440 --> 00:25:26.240
prior experience. All right, so I want you to think about some of these prior experiences in

381
00:25:26.240 --> 00:25:31.040
your lives. And I want you to think about, you know, and really pray about, Lord,

382
00:25:31.040 --> 00:25:37.200
how are those things causing me to see people differently? To perceive all women in this

383
00:25:37.200 --> 00:25:42.320
category, women in authority, women that are just, you know, maybe a friend betrayed you before.

384
00:25:43.040 --> 00:25:47.200
And even though you try to get close to people internally, your subconscious keeps telling you,

385
00:25:47.200 --> 00:25:52.480
you can't trust them. You can't trust them. You know, so I don't know what that those

386
00:25:52.480 --> 00:25:57.680
situations are for you, but the Lord does and he will show you. Matthew 22, 39 says,

387
00:25:57.680 --> 00:26:04.640
love your neighbor as you love yourself. Forgiveness is not a feeling, it's a choice.

388
00:26:04.640 --> 00:26:10.640
Remember? Ephesians 4, 23 says, forgive one another just as God forgave you because of what

389
00:26:10.640 --> 00:26:19.760
Christ has done. Colossians 3, 13 says, remember the Lord forgave you, so you must also forgive

390
00:26:19.760 --> 00:26:25.680
others. And here's the thing, ladies, we need to forgive all the characters in the story. So,

391
00:26:25.680 --> 00:26:30.080
you know, that story I was saying about the foster process, it's not just that person that has our

392
00:26:30.080 --> 00:26:34.560
profile and that's been reviewing it, that's the atheist. There's also some directors in this

393
00:26:35.280 --> 00:26:40.240
organization from what we've learned recently that also have bias against Christianity.

394
00:26:40.960 --> 00:26:46.560
We're pastors of Christian churches. So that creates kind of a problem, right?

395
00:26:46.800 --> 00:26:50.720
So I not only chose to forgive that woman that I don't know her name,

396
00:26:50.720 --> 00:26:54.320
but I chose to forgive those directors in this organization that I don't know either.

397
00:26:56.640 --> 00:27:00.640
Those are the characters in that current story that I needed to forgive.

398
00:27:00.640 --> 00:27:05.200
Sometimes, you know, the character that we often forget is us.

399
00:27:08.400 --> 00:27:14.720
Where we need to forgive ourselves and really relinquish that situation where we hurt someone

400
00:27:15.280 --> 00:27:22.640
else or hurt ourselves. Forgiveness happens in layers. I've said that earlier. I want to continue

401
00:27:22.640 --> 00:27:27.440
to remind you all of that. You know, if things come up again that you've worked on before,

402
00:27:27.440 --> 00:27:32.160
remember, don't panic. It doesn't mean you have to go all the way back through every aspect

403
00:27:32.800 --> 00:27:37.280
of what you did before, but God might be just saying, hey, will you just take a peek back at

404
00:27:37.280 --> 00:27:43.440
this because I want to show you something new that you didn't see before. I'm going to talk

405
00:27:43.520 --> 00:27:50.240
very quickly about three different things. Victim, survivor, and thriver, okay? Victim,

406
00:27:50.240 --> 00:27:54.240
survivor, and thriver. I'm going to try to just show you a little bit of distinction between them

407
00:27:54.880 --> 00:27:58.240
and then we'll start to get ready for our breakout session for tonight.

408
00:27:59.840 --> 00:28:07.120
Victims, and ladies, let me say this. We can be in all three of these, okay? Because here's

409
00:28:07.120 --> 00:28:11.760
the reality. You can be in victim mode in a certain area of your life and be thriving in

410
00:28:11.760 --> 00:28:18.960
another area. But to really thrive is when we start thriving and running on all cylinders,

411
00:28:18.960 --> 00:28:24.400
if you want to say it that way, in multiple areas of our life, okay? But here's the other

412
00:28:24.400 --> 00:28:29.440
thing that's really important is I'm not sharing this for any of you to feel shame, okay? Super

413
00:28:29.440 --> 00:28:36.000
important. This is just to educate you and to help you learn how to hopefully take steps from

414
00:28:36.000 --> 00:28:41.440
where you are, if you are in victim mode, that you can heal more and take steps towards the other

415
00:28:42.160 --> 00:28:48.080
aspects of surviving and then moving to thriving, okay? All right, so I just like to say that just

416
00:28:48.080 --> 00:28:51.920
so everyone understands this is not like an indictment against us that we're going to stay

417
00:28:51.920 --> 00:28:58.560
in these places either, okay? All right, so victims tend to feel helpless. We tend to blame

418
00:28:58.560 --> 00:29:04.720
other people when we're in that mode of victim mentality and we tend to focus on the past.

419
00:29:06.240 --> 00:29:12.880
Okay, so a lot of times it's the other person's fault. And y'all, this doesn't mean that I'm

420
00:29:12.880 --> 00:29:18.320
saying that if someone did something bad to us that we're not allowed to feel upset about it,

421
00:29:19.360 --> 00:29:26.560
okay? What I'm talking about right now is when we stay in victim mode and when we don't leave

422
00:29:26.560 --> 00:29:35.040
that place, okay? Survivors tend to reclaim parts of their power. They take some responsibility for

423
00:29:35.040 --> 00:29:40.480
their choices, so they're starting to own their side of the street and things. If that is the case,

424
00:29:40.480 --> 00:29:45.600
that's not always the case in every situation, okay? Remember, this is, I want you guys to always

425
00:29:45.600 --> 00:29:51.280
be really careful to not funnel, even when I'm coaching people, you know, this is really important

426
00:29:51.280 --> 00:29:57.520
later on when I'm coaching one person. Of course, listen to that. Receive what applies to you,

427
00:29:57.520 --> 00:29:59.840
but not everybody's situation.

428
00:30:00.880 --> 00:30:08.720
is applicable to you. So even in this, like, you know, if I'm saying, hey, a survivor,

429
00:30:08.720 --> 00:30:14.320
they take responsibility for their choices. And that is true, but some things are done to us that

430
00:30:14.320 --> 00:30:19.600
we have no choice about when we're little, okay? Totally different. It's not what I'm talking about

431
00:30:19.600 --> 00:30:26.000
right now. This is more about when we're of age, we're over 18, and we've made some kind of

432
00:30:26.000 --> 00:30:31.040
decision, and God is trying to show us where we need to take some kind of level of responsibility

433
00:30:31.040 --> 00:30:35.520
for that, okay? And again, if something harmful was done to us, that's totally different than

434
00:30:35.520 --> 00:30:39.600
what, like, that we didn't have any choice. We didn't have any say. That is not what I'm

435
00:30:39.600 --> 00:30:44.960
addressing right now, okay? All right. So survivors tend to choose to heal.

436
00:30:46.640 --> 00:30:51.200
They tend to invest in some self-care. Maybe they're starting to say no a little bit. So

437
00:30:51.200 --> 00:30:56.400
they're starting to work on setting a little bit healthier boundaries. But here's the thing,

438
00:30:56.400 --> 00:31:06.160
ladies. Survivors continue to live, to exist, okay? Again, this isn't bad. It's good, but God

439
00:31:06.160 --> 00:31:11.120
wants us to thrive. So I want to show you a little bit more about thriving. People that are thriving

440
00:31:11.120 --> 00:31:17.040
tend to focus on the future, and not with an anxious as in it's never going to happen kind

441
00:31:17.040 --> 00:31:24.000
of concept. But like, this is exciting. I'm going to plan for this. Like, I'm looking forward to

442
00:31:24.000 --> 00:31:28.560
this. I believe this is mine. I believe this is coming. Even if we're not fully in the seat of

443
00:31:28.560 --> 00:31:33.920
this is mine, God led me to start declaring I am a bride long before I became a bride,

444
00:31:33.920 --> 00:31:39.040
and that was something he did in my spirit. He gave me the faith to believe in that and start

445
00:31:39.040 --> 00:31:46.240
declaring that. People that are thriving have power regarding their future, so they don't just

446
00:31:46.240 --> 00:31:50.000
think about it. They don't just dream about it, but now they're starting to get some power because

447
00:31:50.000 --> 00:31:54.480
they're starting to act on some things. They surround themselves with other people who are

448
00:31:54.480 --> 00:32:00.800
thriving, and they tend to grow, develop, prosper, and flourish.

449
00:32:04.400 --> 00:32:10.720
So ladies, we want to do our best to partner with God so that he can enable us to move from victim

450
00:32:11.520 --> 00:32:18.000
to thriving in every area of our life. I want you to hear a little bit of what the land of thriving

451
00:32:18.000 --> 00:32:30.000
sounds like. We want to make choices about what we want to do, as in how do we want to experience

452
00:32:30.000 --> 00:32:35.840
the world. I preached in our church yesterday, and one of my main questions, we're in this worship

453
00:32:35.840 --> 00:32:43.040
series right now, and one of my main questions was, what is the melody, the song of your life

454
00:32:43.600 --> 00:32:51.520
telling people? What is the melody? When people come around you, what do they hear?

455
00:32:52.560 --> 00:32:59.280
What are they experiencing? So how do you want to experience the world, and then how do you want

456
00:32:59.280 --> 00:33:04.000
other people to experience the world through you? It doesn't mean we always have to be perfect, but

457
00:33:04.960 --> 00:33:09.760
I literally can think of, I don't even know where it comes from, but it's just like walking around a

458
00:33:09.760 --> 00:33:16.320
grocery store, just humming and singing songs and just feeling happy. Sometimes you just get in

459
00:33:16.320 --> 00:33:21.600
those spots and you're just like, wow, that feels so good. And then other times you go, man, and

460
00:33:21.600 --> 00:33:29.520
you're just like, oh, I'm tired. This season's hard. But I believe God wants us to be able to

461
00:33:29.520 --> 00:33:35.520
really embrace those moments where just the joy of the Lord starts to come up out of us.

462
00:33:37.920 --> 00:33:42.000
In the land of thriving, we choose, we tend to make choices about how we're going to act.

463
00:33:42.640 --> 00:33:46.800
So what attitude do we want to have? That goes really well with what I just mentioned about the

464
00:33:46.800 --> 00:33:52.480
song of our life. And then where are we going to focus our resources? Are we going to choose

465
00:33:52.480 --> 00:34:01.360
to create opportunities for ourselves? Are we thinking about things beyond the moment?

466
00:34:01.920 --> 00:34:07.360
Are we thinking about, okay, Lord, how can I invest in this area to grow? One of the other

467
00:34:07.360 --> 00:34:11.040
things I'm doing, I'm just trying to give you guys ideas too, because this is stuff God's been

468
00:34:11.040 --> 00:34:17.760
leading me to do. Y'all, I'm on day 215 of studying and working on my Spanish. I'm super excited about

469
00:34:17.760 --> 00:34:23.360
it. If you can speak Spanish, if you talk really fast, I might be able to figure out a couple words.

470
00:34:23.360 --> 00:34:30.239
I'm not that good yet, but like, it feels good. I'm excited about that. And I had started it,

471
00:34:30.239 --> 00:34:39.199
I took it in high school. I took it in college. And I really wanted to be able to speak a couple

472
00:34:39.199 --> 00:34:46.239
languages and I just fell away from it. I tried it again a few years later and life just happened.

473
00:34:46.239 --> 00:34:54.000
And at this time, I'm like, I am all in. I'm all in because, hey, we have people that have

474
00:34:54.000 --> 00:34:58.960
different ethnicities that come to our church. Long before this even happened, but last year,

475
00:34:58.960 --> 00:34:59.840
we had an event. People

476
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:05.600
came up and they spoke Spanish. They didn't speak a lick of English. And I could not communicate

477
00:35:05.600 --> 00:35:11.440
with them. And that frustrated me because I want to be able to do that. So I'm just sharing a

478
00:35:11.440 --> 00:35:16.880
couple of things. I'm looking beyond myself and the current thing. And as I'm building this skill,

479
00:35:16.880 --> 00:35:21.600
I'm growing in confidence and my brain is growing. I think I'm getting smarter. You know,

480
00:35:22.560 --> 00:35:26.720
that's what happens when we learn additional languages. It actually works a different side

481
00:35:26.720 --> 00:35:32.400
of our brain. And so maybe it's for you, it's, you know, something different. Maybe it's doing

482
00:35:32.400 --> 00:35:37.760
art. Maybe it's woodworking. Maybe like my youngest spiritual daughter loves to work on

483
00:35:37.760 --> 00:35:43.680
cars. And I think that's awesome. She loves it. It just absolutely loves it. I don't want to do

484
00:35:43.680 --> 00:35:47.840
that. I'm like, I'll bring my car to you, but I don't want to do that. But that's amazing that

485
00:35:47.840 --> 00:35:54.240
she loves that. And so whatever your thing is or whatever skill, maybe God is nudging you to invest

486
00:35:54.240 --> 00:35:57.440
in, I would encourage you to start doing that. And you might think, well, what does this have

487
00:35:57.440 --> 00:36:05.200
to do with forgiveness? Well, some of you wanted to do something a long time ago and you quit

488
00:36:06.800 --> 00:36:12.160
for whatever reason. And I felt like God wanted me to share some of those stories tonight because

489
00:36:13.120 --> 00:36:19.200
I want to encourage you to forgive yourself for giving up on that dream or that skill that you

490
00:36:19.200 --> 00:36:23.440
were trying to develop. Maybe the enemy just told you you weren't any good at it. I don't know.

491
00:36:25.040 --> 00:36:29.040
I'm just saying I felt like the Lord specifically put that on my heart to share with you tonight.

492
00:36:29.920 --> 00:36:33.680
That not all of you, but some of you need to go back to that dream.

493
00:36:34.640 --> 00:36:36.880
I feel the Holy Spirit and try again.

494
00:36:39.840 --> 00:36:45.040
To try again. And I didn't even realize until I'm saying it right now that goes with Jackie's

495
00:36:45.040 --> 00:36:50.000
message on the whole, you know, seeing yourself as a winner. She talked about that, I think,

496
00:36:50.000 --> 00:36:53.200
on Saturday, a little bit in there. And that wasn't even intentional that I said that.

497
00:36:54.000 --> 00:37:00.560
And so really lean into that. I pray that you'll see what God has for you. Some of you, you know,

498
00:37:00.560 --> 00:37:06.960
God wants to lead you into a degree outside of the kind of current job and world that you live in

499
00:37:06.960 --> 00:37:13.360
because he wants to expand just your adventure and all kinds of things. And so just be open.

500
00:37:13.360 --> 00:37:18.240
I really want to encourage you to be open, to forgive yourself, to let go of the past. The

501
00:37:18.240 --> 00:37:23.360
past does not define you if you don't let it. We all have the opportunity. You know,

502
00:37:23.360 --> 00:37:30.560
the Bible says that he takes our sins that were crimson red and he makes them white as snow.

503
00:37:31.840 --> 00:37:37.600
I saw this movie. It's one of my favorite ones. And she is in this one scene, she's like, you

504
00:37:37.600 --> 00:37:41.840
know, rubs in the sand, like plain, you know, like making it really flat. And she's like,

505
00:37:41.840 --> 00:37:47.200
like a clean slate. And that's what God, he's giving that to all of us. And he gives it to us

506
00:37:47.200 --> 00:37:53.280
every day. And so let's continue to take advantage of that and forgive ourselves and forgive those

507
00:37:53.280 --> 00:37:57.680
that he's put on our hearts as well. So tonight, your conversation and question for the breakout

508
00:37:57.680 --> 00:38:06.080
session is this. Who do you need to forgive tonight? And why? Who do you need to forgive

509
00:38:06.080 --> 00:38:11.280
tonight? And why? All right, let me get you set up for those breakout sessions.

510
00:38:21.440 --> 00:38:23.040
All right, I think I'm gonna do

511
00:38:30.000 --> 00:38:35.440
I'm gonna do seven minutes 246. Yeah. And that should give if there's people that have

512
00:38:35.440 --> 00:38:40.080
three people in your group, two, four, six, that should get each one of you about two minutes.

513
00:38:40.080 --> 00:38:44.800
So please be conscious of your time, ladies, be aware that there's other people in the group.

514
00:38:44.800 --> 00:38:50.960
Okay, short, brief and powerful. This gets you practicing how to share about something,

515
00:38:50.960 --> 00:38:55.280
keep it the details, you know, kind of intact. You don't have to share all the gory details.

516
00:38:55.280 --> 00:38:58.960
It's really important as you go in. Remember, ladies, you don't need to coach, you don't need

517
00:38:58.960 --> 00:39:03.520
to counsel, you don't need to help each other. You just listen. And then you tell your sister,

518
00:39:03.520 --> 00:39:08.000
thank you so much for trusting us with your story. And then the next person goes, okay,

519
00:39:08.000 --> 00:39:11.280
if you have extra time, if you get in a group where there's only two people in there,

520
00:39:12.080 --> 00:39:16.160
get to know each other a little bit after you've talked about who do you need to forgive tonight

521
00:39:16.160 --> 00:39:22.160
and why. All right, this is going to show up on your room, or excuse me on your on your screen.

522
00:39:22.160 --> 00:39:25.120
Here you go. Go ahead and click to join those rooms as quick as you can.

523
00:39:33.520 --> 00:39:38.560
All right, let me just check all these, make sure people are getting situated.

524
00:39:39.440 --> 00:39:41.760
Awesome. Father, thank you so much.

525
00:39:45.040 --> 00:39:47.040
Um, shoot, who someone needed help there?

526
00:39:49.680 --> 00:39:53.440
Okay, I think she's in there. She's in a room. All right, Father, thank you so much for everything

527
00:39:53.440 --> 00:39:56.880
you're already doing tonight. We thank you for your time. We'll see you next time.

528
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:03.900
Thank you, God, for revealings for healing that are happening.

529
00:40:03.900 --> 00:40:07.000
Lord, just like you encountered Paul on the road to Damascus,

530
00:40:07.000 --> 00:40:09.480
God, I thank you that you would encounter these ladies

531
00:40:09.480 --> 00:40:11.940
tonight, those that are watching the replay when they hear it

532
00:40:11.940 --> 00:40:12.880
and watch it.

533
00:40:12.880 --> 00:40:17.200
Lord, help them to hear what your spirit is saying to them.

534
00:40:17.200 --> 00:40:21.160
We thank you for renewing us, for transforming us, God,

535
00:40:21.160 --> 00:40:24.540
for continuing to heal us from the inside out.

536
00:40:24.540 --> 00:40:26.660
I thank you that you make all things new,

537
00:40:26.660 --> 00:40:29.560
that your mercies are new every morning.

538
00:40:29.560 --> 00:40:31.180
Great is your faithfulness, God.

539
00:40:31.180 --> 00:40:34.020
I thank you that you are redeeming our timelines.

540
00:40:34.020 --> 00:40:39.020
Lord, that you're helping us to see things as they truly are,

541
00:40:39.020 --> 00:40:41.740
God, as we continue to heal from the inside out.

542
00:40:41.740 --> 00:40:45.020
I thank you that you would remove blinders and those

543
00:40:45.020 --> 00:40:46.340
filters and blind spots.

544
00:40:46.340 --> 00:40:50.260
I pray that you would help us to see things that we could not

545
00:40:50.260 --> 00:40:54.620
and cannot see, God, that literally were pushed down

546
00:40:54.620 --> 00:40:57.740
by the trauma and the wounds that we went through,

547
00:40:57.740 --> 00:41:00.160
the ways the enemy has continued to keep us bound,

548
00:41:00.160 --> 00:41:04.460
that we don't even recognize our habit cycles that are not

549
00:41:04.460 --> 00:41:06.560
healthy for us, sin cycles.

550
00:41:06.560 --> 00:41:09.640
Lord, I thank you where even I'm just sensing even some people

551
00:41:09.640 --> 00:41:11.920
that might hear this message, that

552
00:41:11.920 --> 00:41:14.600
have been struggling with a certain sin in their life,

553
00:41:14.600 --> 00:41:16.680
and they're just really wanting to be set free,

554
00:41:16.680 --> 00:41:18.840
and they're trying, they're really, really trying.

555
00:41:18.840 --> 00:41:22.080
And I just speak grace over you in Jesus' name,

556
00:41:22.080 --> 00:41:25.480
that you would just be able to receive the fullness of God's

557
00:41:25.480 --> 00:41:27.120
love in a fresh way.

558
00:41:27.120 --> 00:41:28.660
He absolutely loves you.

559
00:41:28.660 --> 00:41:32.060
His love is unconditional, and He just

560
00:41:32.060 --> 00:41:35.980
wants you to experience that and to know that He is with you,

561
00:41:35.980 --> 00:41:38.580
that He is helping you, and He will

562
00:41:38.580 --> 00:41:41.820
equip you to overcome that more in the days to come.

563
00:41:41.820 --> 00:41:42.900
We thank you.

564
00:41:42.900 --> 00:41:45.780
And when I say that, it doesn't mean He didn't equip you before.

565
00:41:45.780 --> 00:41:48.460
It just means I'm just trying to convey to you

566
00:41:48.460 --> 00:41:50.900
that I feel like you're going to experience

567
00:41:50.900 --> 00:41:53.220
a deeper level of God's love.

568
00:41:53.220 --> 00:41:55.340
And out of the overflow of that experience,

569
00:41:55.340 --> 00:41:58.640
you're going to feel more empowered to overcome that sin

570
00:41:58.640 --> 00:42:00.440
and that struggle in your life.

571
00:42:00.440 --> 00:42:03.800
And I wanted to go to 1 Peter 5.8, and this is what it says.

572
00:42:03.800 --> 00:42:05.760
Stay alert.

573
00:42:05.760 --> 00:42:08.240
Watch out for your great enemy, the devil.

574
00:42:08.240 --> 00:42:11.360
He prowls around like a roaring lion,

575
00:42:11.360 --> 00:42:13.720
looking for someone to devour.

576
00:42:13.720 --> 00:42:15.260
And something that's really key here

577
00:42:15.260 --> 00:42:19.240
is that he prowls around like a roaring lion, but he's not.

578
00:42:19.240 --> 00:42:22.280
There's one lion, and it's the lion of the tribe of Judah.

579
00:42:22.280 --> 00:42:24.840
And we do not need to be afraid of the enemy,

580
00:42:24.840 --> 00:42:26.220
but we need to stand alert.

581
00:42:26.220 --> 00:42:27.860
We need to watch out.

582
00:42:27.860 --> 00:42:30.700
And the Bible says that for us to guard our hearts

583
00:42:30.700 --> 00:42:32.160
and our minds through Christ Jesus,

584
00:42:32.160 --> 00:42:34.220
that means we take an active role in that.

585
00:42:34.220 --> 00:42:36.300
And so ladies, I absolutely want to encourage

586
00:42:36.300 --> 00:42:42.620
you to pray the armor of God in, I think that's Ephesians 6?

587
00:42:42.620 --> 00:42:43.300
Is that right?

588
00:42:43.300 --> 00:42:44.060
Or Galatians 6?

589
00:42:44.060 --> 00:42:45.180
I can't remember right now.

590
00:42:45.180 --> 00:42:46.340
I think it's Ephesians.

591
00:42:46.340 --> 00:42:49.100
But the armor of God over yourself every single day,

592
00:42:49.100 --> 00:42:51.500
over your families, just really declaring

593
00:42:51.500 --> 00:42:53.460
what those pieces of the armor are,

594
00:42:53.460 --> 00:42:58.120
and really praying and thanking God for protecting you,

595
00:42:58.120 --> 00:43:00.640
for dispatching angels to war on your behalf,

596
00:43:00.640 --> 00:43:04.480
and really just partnering with him in that truth.

597
00:43:04.480 --> 00:43:06.440
Proverbs 18, 19 says, it's easier

598
00:43:06.440 --> 00:43:09.720
to conquer a strong city than to win back

599
00:43:09.720 --> 00:43:11.880
a friend whom you've offended.

600
00:43:11.880 --> 00:43:13.800
Their walls go up, making it nearly

601
00:43:13.800 --> 00:43:15.640
impossible to win them back.

602
00:43:15.640 --> 00:43:20.680
And so Lord, we just pray into that right now to.

603
00:43:20.680 --> 00:43:22.800
I actually was going to go in a different direction,

604
00:43:22.820 --> 00:43:25.620
but I just feel led to pray for friendships

605
00:43:25.620 --> 00:43:28.020
where there's been offense, whether that's

606
00:43:28.020 --> 00:43:30.780
been us, in us, or in them, no matter

607
00:43:30.780 --> 00:43:33.700
who the person that did the right or the wrong.

608
00:43:33.700 --> 00:43:36.580
Lord, we just speak healing and reconciliation

609
00:43:36.580 --> 00:43:39.260
over friendships, where their offense has come in

610
00:43:39.260 --> 00:43:42.820
and just broken friendships that were good, godly friendships.

611
00:43:42.820 --> 00:43:45.140
And we just speak peace, be still,

612
00:43:45.140 --> 00:43:47.940
like the wind and the waves that were raging when

613
00:43:47.940 --> 00:43:49.580
Jesus was with the disciples.

614
00:43:49.580 --> 00:43:51.160
And he was sleeping, and the disciples

615
00:43:51.160 --> 00:43:52.660
were scared by those wind and waves.

616
00:43:52.880 --> 00:43:55.440
Jesus literally, he wakes up, and he just

617
00:43:55.440 --> 00:43:56.800
ends up speaking to the waves.

618
00:43:56.800 --> 00:43:59.760
And so Lord, we just thank you for calming

619
00:43:59.760 --> 00:44:02.400
these situations and these dynamics.

620
00:44:02.400 --> 00:44:06.000
And we thank you for, Lord, if those friendships,

621
00:44:06.000 --> 00:44:08.840
if you desire them to be reawakened and to get

622
00:44:08.840 --> 00:44:12.880
reconnected, Lord, I just thank you that you are more than able

623
00:44:12.880 --> 00:44:13.520
to do that.

624
00:44:13.520 --> 00:44:14.920
And I just pray that you would just

625
00:44:14.920 --> 00:44:17.560
continue to help us to hear what your spirit is saying,

626
00:44:17.560 --> 00:44:20.440
that we would respond and obey and forgive

627
00:44:20.460 --> 00:44:23.300
as you lead us to forgive.

628
00:44:23.300 --> 00:44:26.500
Exodus 20, verse 6 says, I lavish unfailing love

629
00:44:26.500 --> 00:44:31.260
for 1,000 generations on those who love me and obey

630
00:44:31.260 --> 00:44:31.900
my commands.

631
00:44:31.900 --> 00:44:33.580
So think about this, ladies.

632
00:44:33.580 --> 00:44:37.340
When we choose to forgive, when we choose to lean into that

633
00:44:37.340 --> 00:44:39.060
and be obedient to forgive those,

634
00:44:39.060 --> 00:44:42.540
God puts on our hearts to forgive, including ourselves.

635
00:44:42.540 --> 00:44:46.340
It says that he's going to lavish his love on us

636
00:44:46.340 --> 00:44:48.500
for 1,000 generations.

637
00:44:48.520 --> 00:44:52.560
So not just us, but for 1,000 generations to come behind us.

638
00:44:52.560 --> 00:44:56.720
So the things that we're doing now to heal, to be transformed,

639
00:44:56.720 --> 00:45:01.160
to shift from the inside out, it's going to impact.

640
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:05.160
You know, people around us, our generations to come behind us, it's a beautiful, powerful

641
00:45:05.160 --> 00:45:08.760
thought and I pray that you'll meditate on that more in the days to come.

642
00:45:08.760 --> 00:45:14.040
When you feel, you know, overwhelmed or just like, you know, is it all worth it that you

643
00:45:14.040 --> 00:45:15.040
would remember?

644
00:45:15.040 --> 00:45:16.040
Yes, it's worth it.

645
00:45:16.040 --> 00:45:17.360
Yes, it's worth it.

646
00:45:17.360 --> 00:45:22.600
As I was saying, you know, yesterday I was praying during worship and just, you know,

647
00:45:22.600 --> 00:45:23.600
forgiving those people.

648
00:45:23.600 --> 00:45:27.040
One of the other things that came up in my spirit yesterday during worship was I was

649
00:45:27.040 --> 00:45:33.080
thinking about all the people that had gone before me, family members, this woman that

650
00:45:33.080 --> 00:45:37.760
was one of my like first mentors in my life that's gone on to be with the Lord already

651
00:45:37.760 --> 00:45:42.960
and just thinking about all the things that she did to invest in me and now she's in heaven

652
00:45:42.960 --> 00:45:47.440
and just, you know, thinking about like how Hebrews 11 talks about that great host, you

653
00:45:47.440 --> 00:45:52.440
know, the people that have gone ahead of us that are up there, man, they're cheering us

654
00:45:52.440 --> 00:45:53.440
on.

655
00:45:53.440 --> 00:45:57.080
And so I just was thinking about that and it just really encouraged me.

656
00:45:57.080 --> 00:46:00.280
And so I just want you to know, just like Jesus is sitting at the right hand of the

657
00:46:00.280 --> 00:46:06.360
father that, you know, I believe there are others up there praying and interceding as

658
00:46:06.360 --> 00:46:07.360
well.

659
00:46:07.360 --> 00:46:12.320
And so, um, someone three says this, at least that's the way I like to picture it.

660
00:46:12.320 --> 00:46:14.360
I'm not saying I know that's what the Bible says.

661
00:46:14.360 --> 00:46:17.000
I'm just saying that's how I like to picture it.

662
00:46:17.000 --> 00:46:21.640
Like for me, my grandparents, they took me to church all the time and I just, in my mind,

663
00:46:21.640 --> 00:46:24.400
I just pictured them up there just like cheering me on again.

664
00:46:24.400 --> 00:46:28.680
I don't know if that's, you know, I can't claim that that's what scripture says, but

665
00:46:28.680 --> 00:46:31.320
that's where they're at, but that's how I was picturing it.

666
00:46:31.320 --> 00:46:35.600
And I love that Jackie explains like sometimes like, you know, heaven is like all around

667
00:46:35.600 --> 00:46:36.600
us.

668
00:46:36.600 --> 00:46:39.840
And so I think that's such a cool way to look at it.

669
00:46:39.840 --> 00:46:42.000
Um, I just did something to my screen here.

670
00:46:42.000 --> 00:46:43.000
That's really funky.

671
00:46:43.000 --> 00:46:47.560
Hold on one second.

672
00:46:47.560 --> 00:46:49.960
I can't find you guys.

673
00:46:49.960 --> 00:46:52.920
Okay, shoot.

674
00:46:52.920 --> 00:46:56.880
I thought I lost all of you guys.

675
00:46:56.880 --> 00:46:58.120
I'm like, where are you?

676
00:46:58.120 --> 00:47:03.040
I could, I could hear people, but I could not see is everyone coming back.

677
00:47:03.040 --> 00:47:04.040
Okay, cool.

678
00:47:04.040 --> 00:47:10.520
That's the first I made the breakout list really big on my screen and it literally covered

679
00:47:10.520 --> 00:47:11.520
everything else.

680
00:47:11.520 --> 00:47:12.520
Welcome back.

681
00:47:12.520 --> 00:47:16.960
I was praying and just sharing some things that were coming up in my spirit as I was

682
00:47:17.360 --> 00:47:20.560
going through tonight's time while you all were in there.

683
00:47:20.560 --> 00:47:25.360
If you feel led to come back at some point and listen to that, we're about, you know,

684
00:47:25.360 --> 00:47:29.760
40, 45, 40 some minutes in, um, and we really want to encourage you guys.

685
00:47:29.760 --> 00:47:32.720
Hopefully those breakout sessions were amazing as always.

686
00:47:32.720 --> 00:47:37.680
Uh, just a couple activations for this week, not a long explanation.

687
00:47:37.680 --> 00:47:44.680
Um, number one, we're talking about forgiveness or activations are going to be centered around

688
00:47:44.680 --> 00:47:46.040
that this week.

689
00:47:46.120 --> 00:47:49.760
So I'm going to encourage you all to get some activation sheets, your forgiveness prayer

690
00:47:49.760 --> 00:47:50.760
sheets out.

691
00:47:50.760 --> 00:47:53.640
I call them activation sheets, but your forgiveness prayer sheets.

692
00:47:53.640 --> 00:47:57.680
If you're not in that week yet, it's totally fine.

693
00:47:57.680 --> 00:47:58.680
Forgiveness prayer sheets.

694
00:47:58.680 --> 00:48:02.360
All the worksheets that you'll need through the whole course are under the welcome section,

695
00:48:02.360 --> 00:48:07.120
but then we also have them, you know, in the week that it goes with, but if you're not

696
00:48:07.120 --> 00:48:09.280
sure where to find it, just go to the welcome section.

697
00:48:09.280 --> 00:48:11.920
You'll find that forgiveness prayer sheet in there.

698
00:48:11.920 --> 00:48:15.680
Encourage you all to print some of those out and, and ladies, when you fill out these forgiveness

699
00:48:16.320 --> 00:48:19.280
prayer sheets, I really want to encourage you to get specific.

700
00:48:19.280 --> 00:48:20.280
Okay.

701
00:48:20.280 --> 00:48:22.960
Don't just say, I'm going to forgive them for hurting me.

702
00:48:22.960 --> 00:48:24.640
Like be honest.

703
00:48:24.640 --> 00:48:26.640
What are you forgiving them for?

704
00:48:26.640 --> 00:48:33.040
Be specific and, um, really process that situation or dynamic.

705
00:48:33.040 --> 00:48:35.440
Then I want you to come and you don't have to wait.

706
00:48:35.440 --> 00:48:36.440
Okay.

707
00:48:36.440 --> 00:48:37.440
Let me say this.

708
00:48:37.440 --> 00:48:40.120
You don't have to wait to do a forgiveness prayer sheet to do this next one.

709
00:48:40.120 --> 00:48:41.120
Okay.

710
00:48:42.120 --> 00:48:46.720
We want you to create a post in the group and share who is God leading you to forgive

711
00:48:46.720 --> 00:48:47.960
and why.

712
00:48:47.960 --> 00:48:51.360
And when you share it again, don't feel like you have to share all the gory details, but

713
00:48:51.360 --> 00:48:54.160
we do want to understand kind of what you're walking through.

714
00:48:54.160 --> 00:48:58.200
If any of you have questions about forgiveness, you can ask those as well.

715
00:48:58.200 --> 00:49:02.800
And if you have multiple people to forgive, I really want to encourage you to put that,

716
00:49:02.800 --> 00:49:07.440
you know, don't put them all in one post where the post is really, really, really, really

717
00:49:07.440 --> 00:49:08.440
long.

718
00:49:08.440 --> 00:49:09.440
Okay.

719
00:49:09.440 --> 00:49:10.440
That makes it hard for our team.

720
00:49:10.760 --> 00:49:15.160
So keep them, keep, tell us what's happening, but kind of keep that short.

721
00:49:15.160 --> 00:49:18.040
And then we can kind of respond to that a little more easily.

722
00:49:18.040 --> 00:49:19.040
Okay.

723
00:49:19.040 --> 00:49:20.040
Awesome.

724
00:49:20.040 --> 00:49:21.680
And I'll put those up in the group tonight.

725
00:49:21.680 --> 00:49:23.280
So you'll see those there as well.

726
00:49:23.280 --> 00:49:24.280
All right.

727
00:49:24.280 --> 00:49:26.720
So I'm going to open up for group coaching now.

728
00:49:26.720 --> 00:49:30.200
And so a couple of ladies already have their hands up, which is awesome.

729
00:49:30.200 --> 00:49:33.920
So Aylin, hi, we're going to come to you first.

730
00:49:33.920 --> 00:49:35.400
Okay.

731
00:49:35.400 --> 00:49:39.320
Sorry about that.

732
00:49:39.320 --> 00:49:40.320
That's okay.

733
00:49:41.200 --> 00:49:52.680
So I shared in my group that I have to forgive my biological father's wife.

734
00:49:52.680 --> 00:49:55.600
When I was younger, I would wet the bed.

735
00:49:55.600 --> 00:49:59.800
And that was something I struggled until I was older.

736
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:09.580
that I struggled with anyways and she was the only person who ever hit me and then whenever

737
00:50:09.580 --> 00:50:18.320
I tried to go help fix the mess that I made, help clean the sheets or anything, she would

738
00:50:18.320 --> 00:50:25.520
just yell at me, hit me, and then sit me in a chair, in a wooden chair, until she was

739
00:50:25.520 --> 00:50:43.200
done with that and I recently forgave my father, like, actually, and so I reached out to him

740
00:50:43.200 --> 00:50:51.160
and we were talking for a little bit and it was like, okay, if we made up, it's only going

741
00:50:51.160 --> 00:50:58.040
to be me and you to start and then I ended up telling him the same day that I met him

742
00:50:58.040 --> 00:51:02.120
on a phone call because he was like, yeah, let's go see each other, come to the house.

743
00:51:02.120 --> 00:51:09.920
I was like, well, that's really fast, but he was like, okay, I can understand because

744
00:51:09.920 --> 00:51:14.720
I was like, okay, I don't want to see the whole family and then I was like, well, if

745
00:51:14.720 --> 00:51:19.440
I'm going to be honest with you, I don't want to see your wife, like, you know, I just don't

746
00:51:19.440 --> 00:51:24.720
want to see her and he was like, well, I don't know why, can you tell me what happened?

747
00:51:24.720 --> 00:51:31.920
I was like, sure, I can, this is what happened, this is what happened to me when I was younger

748
00:51:31.920 --> 00:51:43.000
and then she had also, like, the night where we had, like, a falling out, basically, she

749
00:51:43.000 --> 00:51:48.480
had sent, she had gotten the iPod they got me the Christmas before and she had sent all

750
00:51:48.480 --> 00:52:00.600
of my personal messages with my family, like my aunt, my mom, everybody to her email and

751
00:52:00.600 --> 00:52:06.440
obviously I could see that from my end because it was an email kind of deal.

752
00:52:06.440 --> 00:52:18.440
So that was very difficult for me because it took me, like, 14 years to really reach

753
00:52:18.440 --> 00:52:22.920
back out to my father and actually forgive him.

754
00:52:22.920 --> 00:52:31.960
And that's because I'm, well, God, God, really, and I just, I haven't forgiven her yet and

755
00:52:31.960 --> 00:52:36.040
I have a lot of hurt in my heart.

756
00:52:36.040 --> 00:52:43.480
So well, number one, can I just say how much you've grown since the first time you shared

757
00:52:43.480 --> 00:52:44.480
on here?

758
00:52:44.480 --> 00:52:45.480
Can you see it in yourself?

759
00:52:45.480 --> 00:52:46.480
Kind of.

760
00:52:46.480 --> 00:52:54.200
I can, you're talking way more confidently, you're, you know, like, you just, you have

761
00:52:54.200 --> 00:52:58.780
a confidence and a calm about you that you didn't have the first time that you shared.

762
00:52:58.780 --> 00:53:04.260
And so I just want to, like, verbally tell you, like, I can see that growth in you and

763
00:53:04.260 --> 00:53:06.460
it's pretty exciting.

764
00:53:06.460 --> 00:53:12.340
And so even just hearing you talk about kind of how you're processing this situation from

765
00:53:12.340 --> 00:53:19.300
before to this current, like more recent thing, you know, God is really helping you put some

766
00:53:19.300 --> 00:53:20.380
dots together.

767
00:53:20.380 --> 00:53:25.980
He's helping you connect and really stand in the confidence in Him, no matter what happens

768
00:53:25.980 --> 00:53:27.380
with these other individuals.

769
00:53:27.380 --> 00:53:33.660
And so I love that you're going to at least take a step towards choosing to forgive her.

770
00:53:33.660 --> 00:53:39.100
And remember, you all, just because we're forgiving them doesn't mean we have to forget.

771
00:53:39.100 --> 00:53:40.340
Okay.

772
00:53:40.340 --> 00:53:46.940
But as time goes, God in His goodness, the way I like to describe it, it's like, you

773
00:53:46.940 --> 00:53:51.780
know, the sting, you know, the Bible talks about the sting of death.

774
00:53:51.780 --> 00:53:54.580
I think that that probably can actually mean death.

775
00:53:54.580 --> 00:53:57.300
I don't, I'd have to study it out contextually in the Bible.

776
00:53:57.300 --> 00:54:02.580
But it also makes me think about just, you know, sometimes when stuff hurts us, there's

777
00:54:02.580 --> 00:54:03.980
like a sting to it.

778
00:54:03.980 --> 00:54:05.740
There's like pain.

779
00:54:05.740 --> 00:54:12.460
And so I just feel like it's important to mention that sometimes that sting might still

780
00:54:12.460 --> 00:54:20.980
be there when we first choose to forgive, but over time, that can, like, be soothed,

781
00:54:20.980 --> 00:54:21.980
if you will.

782
00:54:21.980 --> 00:54:24.660
Like the Bible talks about the balm of Gilead as well.

783
00:54:24.660 --> 00:54:29.860
And back in the ancient days, they would apply the balm of Gilead for healing purposes.

784
00:54:29.860 --> 00:54:34.260
And so a lot of times when I pray for the balm of Gilead to be placed upon our hearts

785
00:54:34.260 --> 00:54:39.300
or our souls or our minds that, you know, really in believing for that, you know, kind

786
00:54:39.300 --> 00:54:45.260
of that divine balm of Gilead, like the one that God really created in the earth and,

787
00:54:45.260 --> 00:54:46.900
you know, established for us to use.

788
00:54:47.540 --> 00:54:53.060
I just speak that over your heart and just declare that you will be able to continue

789
00:54:53.060 --> 00:54:58.340
to walk in confidence and, you know, forgive her fully.

790
00:54:58.340 --> 00:55:00.060
And that doesn't mean that you can't forgive her.

791
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:03.280
mean that you have to be in close proximity to her either.

792
00:55:04.200 --> 00:55:07.480
And I love that you set boundaries with your dad.

793
00:55:07.480 --> 00:55:09.800
I hear growth in that too for you.

794
00:55:10.120 --> 00:55:14.040
Like, hey, yeah, I do want to connect, but I'm not comfortable with that.

795
00:55:14.320 --> 00:55:16.480
I feel like, again, just great strides.

796
00:55:16.480 --> 00:55:17.760
You've grown a ton.

797
00:55:17.760 --> 00:55:19.920
And I'm just we're praying for you.

798
00:55:19.920 --> 00:55:20.840
We're cheering you on.

799
00:55:20.840 --> 00:55:23.280
But definitely get the forgiveness prayer sheet out

800
00:55:23.640 --> 00:55:26.480
and just process out any whatever you're ready for.

801
00:55:27.400 --> 00:55:31.440
And remember that sometimes we might not feel ready for some other ones.

802
00:55:31.440 --> 00:55:36.160
But if we just choose to honor God and step into that in obedience,

803
00:55:36.280 --> 00:55:41.080
that he'll meet us right in those moments and speak to us a lot of the time.

804
00:55:41.280 --> 00:55:43.240
Yeah. But let us know how that goes.

805
00:55:43.240 --> 00:55:46.480
We're going to keep we're going to keep believing for healing in that.

806
00:55:46.880 --> 00:55:48.960
And we look forward to hearing what God's going to do.

807
00:55:49.840 --> 00:55:51.320
Thank you. You're welcome.

808
00:55:51.320 --> 00:55:52.480
Thank you for sharing.

809
00:55:52.480 --> 00:55:53.480
Trina, go ahead.

810
00:55:57.080 --> 00:56:02.000
So I have the question of more

811
00:56:02.880 --> 00:56:05.920
like you were saying, you know, you don't have to.

812
00:56:07.280 --> 00:56:08.000
I don't know.

813
00:56:08.000 --> 00:56:12.560
OK, so my brother, my youngest brother and I for the past 20 years,

814
00:56:12.560 --> 00:56:14.800
we've had a really hard time.

815
00:56:14.800 --> 00:56:18.240
I could blame a lot of it on his alcohol, but I can also now

816
00:56:18.240 --> 00:56:21.320
because of God healing, doing a lot of healing work,

817
00:56:21.320 --> 00:56:23.640
I can see where I was at fault a lot, too.

818
00:56:24.360 --> 00:56:27.480
And it's this fine line of.

819
00:56:28.960 --> 00:56:32.680
We're very both good at kind of show

820
00:56:33.520 --> 00:56:37.800
in front of others that we're OK and we're talking and we're good.

821
00:56:37.800 --> 00:56:40.000
But like, I don't know.

822
00:56:43.440 --> 00:56:46.440
It's so much that now I'm like,

823
00:56:47.200 --> 00:56:49.640
do I want to clear the air with him?

824
00:56:49.640 --> 00:56:51.640
Do I want to

825
00:56:52.520 --> 00:56:56.360
tell him the things that I've noticed, like say sorry,

826
00:56:56.360 --> 00:56:59.360
or do I just want to keep it where it's like we're good?

827
00:56:59.360 --> 00:57:00.400
Everything's fine.

828
00:57:00.400 --> 00:57:03.840
I don't really want to get into deep like, you know.

829
00:57:05.160 --> 00:57:09.200
It's like, how much do you want to clean up and and for why?

830
00:57:11.040 --> 00:57:12.200
Does that make sense?

831
00:57:12.200 --> 00:57:13.800
It does. It does.

832
00:57:13.800 --> 00:57:16.520
And something I want you all to be thinking about and, you know,

833
00:57:16.520 --> 00:57:19.080
it's really important for everybody to always understand

834
00:57:20.120 --> 00:57:23.120
you all have to decide between you and the Lord.

835
00:57:23.120 --> 00:57:25.280
What is best for you?

836
00:57:25.280 --> 00:57:27.440
And when I say that,

837
00:57:27.440 --> 00:57:30.880
know that what is best for you might not always be what you want to do.

838
00:57:31.960 --> 00:57:35.000
All right. God will invite us into into things.

839
00:57:35.600 --> 00:57:37.160
But it's always important for you all to understand.

840
00:57:37.160 --> 00:57:38.640
It's important for you to choose.

841
00:57:38.640 --> 00:57:40.960
And we're really big on not telling people.

842
00:57:40.960 --> 00:57:44.360
And you're not asking, but I'm just I'm just saying this for everyone.

843
00:57:44.360 --> 00:57:47.800
So you all know in this community, we're really careful about saying,

844
00:57:47.800 --> 00:57:49.360
hey, you should do this. You should do that.

845
00:57:49.400 --> 00:57:53.680
I try to say I encourage you to do this because it's more about an invitation

846
00:57:53.680 --> 00:57:57.520
that way. So if you all ever wonder why I say that, that's from my perspective.

847
00:57:57.520 --> 00:57:58.960
That's why I do that.

848
00:57:58.960 --> 00:58:01.880
And so on this, Trina, I think it's

849
00:58:02.760 --> 00:58:07.720
really important when you asked, like, why would I do this? OK.

850
00:58:10.040 --> 00:58:14.320
I think for most of us, what we need to get at is, are we.

851
00:58:14.960 --> 00:58:19.120
Doing something for someone else to give us the reaction that we want.

852
00:58:20.240 --> 00:58:25.920
OK, or are we doing it to like because God is asking us to.

853
00:58:27.600 --> 00:58:32.400
Right. So, for example, I remember years ago,

854
00:58:33.440 --> 00:58:37.840
man, I wanted my brother to apologize about whatever the dynamic was.

855
00:58:37.880 --> 00:58:39.880
You guys have heard some of my story before.

856
00:58:39.880 --> 00:58:44.160
And, you know, what ended up happening by the time he did apologize,

857
00:58:44.200 --> 00:58:46.120
I didn't really feel like it was heartfelt.

858
00:58:47.920 --> 00:58:52.920
And so then I got more mad about it and I'm like, OK, well,

859
00:58:52.920 --> 00:58:54.880
this didn't really work, you know?

860
00:58:54.880 --> 00:58:59.560
And so when I started realizing it's more about like my heart attitude

861
00:58:59.560 --> 00:59:02.760
going into things, of course, I want a good outcome.

862
00:59:02.760 --> 00:59:05.720
Of course, I want there to be forgiveness on both sides and healing and

863
00:59:05.720 --> 00:59:07.640
reconciliation, whatever that looks like.

864
00:59:07.680 --> 00:59:10.720
But sometimes that's not possible, but that's not why I'm doing it.

865
00:59:12.360 --> 00:59:14.600
You know, like even like I said, with that situation,

866
00:59:14.600 --> 00:59:17.000
I haven't met that woman, I don't have to see her all the time.

867
00:59:17.400 --> 00:59:20.720
But I don't know if the situation is going to change, but I am going to forgive her

868
00:59:20.920 --> 00:59:24.640
because I God asks me to and I need to.

869
00:59:24.880 --> 00:59:26.600
Why think about this?

870
00:59:26.600 --> 00:59:32.400
Why I needed to because in my heart, it was weighing me down.

871
00:59:32.840 --> 00:59:35.280
I was frustrated. I was angry. I was upset.

872
00:59:35.920 --> 00:59:38.280
I was frustrated. I was angry at this person.

873
00:59:38.280 --> 00:59:40.080
Like, like, how dare they?

874
00:59:40.080 --> 00:59:44.000
There there's literal kids in DCF on cots

875
00:59:44.400 --> 00:59:47.160
because there's so many kids in Florida.

876
00:59:47.160 --> 00:59:49.560
It doesn't make sense. Right.

877
00:59:50.560 --> 00:59:54.800
And so for for your situation, the reason I say that is because

878
00:59:54.960 --> 00:59:57.400
or whoever situation.

879
00:59:57.600 --> 00:59:59.920
We can always justify why we don't.

880
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:03.360
need to or, you know, why is it important now?

881
01:00:04.720 --> 01:00:06.260
You need to pray about God.

882
01:00:06.260 --> 01:00:08.800
Are you asking me to talk to him about this?

883
01:00:09.840 --> 01:00:15.520
Or is this my like guilt or shame or whatever trying to push me in that

884
01:00:15.520 --> 01:00:19.540
direction, you know, some people will make decisions like that because they

885
01:00:19.540 --> 01:00:27.140
feel like, um, it's uncomfortable to, you know, to not talk about something.

886
01:00:27.140 --> 01:00:29.540
I had that with somebody even today I was coaching.

887
01:00:30.020 --> 01:00:35.340
And so at the core, I think if you feel like God is leading you to talk to him,

888
01:00:35.340 --> 01:00:38.980
one of the things I would highly recommend is that you're not like, Hey,

889
01:00:38.980 --> 01:00:43.860
I see this in you, but you go in and you just say, Hey, this is something God's

890
01:00:43.860 --> 01:00:46.420
been talking to me about in my own heart.

891
01:00:47.020 --> 01:00:48.740
And I just want to ask you to forgive me.

892
01:00:51.300 --> 01:00:51.740
Okay.

893
01:00:51.980 --> 01:00:59.580
Because whether or not they forgive is between them and the Lord, but you

894
01:00:59.580 --> 01:01:03.140
choosing to forgive might be that open door and invitation for them to step

895
01:01:03.140 --> 01:01:03.700
into that.

896
01:01:03.900 --> 01:01:05.040
And that's what happens a lot.

897
01:01:05.040 --> 01:01:06.820
Not everybody takes that open door.

898
01:01:07.160 --> 01:01:07.660
Okay.

899
01:01:07.900 --> 01:01:12.440
But that is, that tends to be what kind of the Lord kind of tease that up for

900
01:01:12.440 --> 01:01:14.460
other people to step into that, if you will.

901
01:01:14.980 --> 01:01:19.920
And so, um, but it's, it's more about what, what is God trying to do in your

902
01:01:19.920 --> 01:01:20.400
heart?

903
01:01:20.400 --> 01:01:22.160
And how is he trying to set you free?

904
01:01:24.520 --> 01:01:25.360
Does that make sense?

905
01:01:26.560 --> 01:01:27.440
Is that helpful?

906
01:01:28.680 --> 01:01:30.640
Yeah, I gotta, I gotta go to God.

907
01:01:30.960 --> 01:01:31.460
Yeah.

908
01:01:31.560 --> 01:01:31.920
Yeah.

909
01:01:31.960 --> 01:01:37.400
And, and here's the other thing, ladies, sometimes, um, for some of you, you need

910
01:01:37.400 --> 01:01:38.960
to just write it out on paper.

911
01:01:40.640 --> 01:01:45.360
You know, not everybody is called to go to the person that hurt them or that

912
01:01:45.360 --> 01:01:50.280
they're at odds with and talk, you know, maybe some are in the future led, but

913
01:01:50.280 --> 01:01:53.200
right now God's saying like, Hey, just, just write this out.

914
01:01:53.440 --> 01:01:57.160
Some of you need to write this stuff out and like burn it because it's so hard.

915
01:01:57.160 --> 01:01:58.760
You don't want to leave that around.

916
01:01:59.000 --> 01:02:02.200
You know, just again, I feel like it's always important to say to everybody

917
01:02:02.200 --> 01:02:04.240
pray and the Lord will guide you.

918
01:02:04.560 --> 01:02:06.320
He'll let you know what you need to do.

919
01:02:06.600 --> 01:02:10.280
And if he really does want you to talk to somebody, it's going to be one of those

920
01:02:10.280 --> 01:02:13.120
things that's going to start to burn in your, in your soul.

921
01:02:13.120 --> 01:02:17.160
If you're listening, if you're dialed into what he's saying and you're not pushing

922
01:02:17.160 --> 01:02:21.680
that away and stuffing it down, you know, then, then you're going to start to have

923
01:02:21.680 --> 01:02:24.360
that burn and that like, I gotta do this.

924
01:02:24.360 --> 01:02:25.520
I really gotta do this.

925
01:02:25.920 --> 01:02:31.400
Um, and so be aware of that, be praying into that and we'll be praying for you.

926
01:02:32.960 --> 01:02:33.560
You're welcome.

927
01:02:33.880 --> 01:02:35.920
Definitely do the prayer sheets first.

928
01:02:35.960 --> 01:02:36.560
Okay.

929
01:02:37.080 --> 01:02:38.080
Super important.

930
01:02:39.080 --> 01:02:44.160
Before you ever go talk to someone in person, do the forgiveness, prayer sheets,

931
01:02:44.160 --> 01:02:46.920
kind of write things out and really process it.

932
01:02:47.200 --> 01:02:51.160
Think about really what you want to say so that you're not going.

933
01:02:51.160 --> 01:02:55.720
Cause people can get more emotional versus if you have something to kind of reference.

934
01:02:55.720 --> 01:02:56.200
Okay.

935
01:02:58.040 --> 01:02:58.920
Really, really good.

936
01:02:58.960 --> 01:03:00.840
Thank you for sharing that Trina Tatiana.

937
01:03:00.840 --> 01:03:01.360
Go ahead.

938
01:03:04.080 --> 01:03:06.760
Hey, I'm going to come on camera, Bob and doing my hair.

939
01:03:06.760 --> 01:03:07.760
So I look a little crazy.

940
01:03:08.760 --> 01:03:10.000
But okay.

941
01:03:11.760 --> 01:03:12.040
All right.

942
01:03:12.040 --> 01:03:12.880
Can you hear me good?

943
01:03:12.960 --> 01:03:13.880
Yeah, we hear you.

944
01:03:13.880 --> 01:03:14.200
Okay.

945
01:03:15.080 --> 01:03:15.440
All right.

946
01:03:15.440 --> 01:03:19.520
So I had a big revealing for healing and I've talked to you about

947
01:03:19.520 --> 01:03:21.280
like my struggles with my dad.

948
01:03:22.120 --> 01:03:27.520
And last Sunday, um, I also talked to you about like how I've been

949
01:03:27.520 --> 01:03:28.920
struggling with my mom recently.

950
01:03:29.280 --> 01:03:30.040
Me and my dad are good.

951
01:03:30.080 --> 01:03:30.600
We're children.

952
01:03:30.760 --> 01:03:31.280
I love it.

953
01:03:31.800 --> 01:03:38.000
Um, but last Sunday she kind of like hit her.

954
01:03:38.000 --> 01:03:38.640
What is it called?

955
01:03:38.640 --> 01:03:39.560
Like the tipping point.

956
01:03:39.560 --> 01:03:41.640
And she was just done with me.

957
01:03:42.120 --> 01:03:46.080
And so she took away the keys to my car and said, she's not

958
01:03:46.080 --> 01:03:47.400
going to pay for my school anymore.

959
01:03:48.280 --> 01:03:56.160
And I've, I've like just been trying to process everything because I had already

960
01:03:56.160 --> 01:03:59.920
started to feel a lot more resentment towards her and I started to feel like

961
01:03:59.920 --> 01:04:02.800
the way I used to feel about my dad, I started to feel that way towards her.

962
01:04:02.800 --> 01:04:05.920
So then obviously like my behavior towards her was changing.

963
01:04:05.920 --> 01:04:07.480
Like I wasn't talking to her as much.

964
01:04:07.880 --> 01:04:11.360
Um, and it started to get to the point where like, if she asked me to do

965
01:04:11.360 --> 01:04:12.680
something, I just didn't do it.

966
01:04:12.680 --> 01:04:14.080
Like I, I didn't want to.

967
01:04:14.760 --> 01:04:18.560
And yeah, so I've, I've come, I, what is it?

968
01:04:19.400 --> 01:04:21.360
Fallen short on, on my end.

969
01:04:21.840 --> 01:04:23.720
And I was just like, why am I feeling this way?

970
01:04:24.440 --> 01:04:32.480
And, um, I realized because I never ever saw the situation like this, but up until

971
01:04:32.480 --> 01:04:36.280
I was maybe like six, I was a daddy's girl.

972
01:04:36.600 --> 01:04:39.240
Like my parents were not married when they had me.

973
01:04:39.640 --> 01:04:41.720
And so my dad had his house and my mom had hers.

974
01:04:41.800 --> 01:04:46.040
And I would like, like my most fondest memories are all at his house because he

975
01:04:46.040 --> 01:04:47.840
had a bunch of like animals in the backyard.

976
01:04:48.280 --> 01:04:49.760
Uh, we would ride horses together.

977
01:04:49.760 --> 01:04:51.320
I would like take care of the chickens.

978
01:04:51.440 --> 01:04:55.160
Anytime he'd mow the lawn, like he'd have me on his lap and like, he'd be driving

979
01:04:55.160 --> 01:04:55.800
crazy.

980
01:04:56.360 --> 01:04:58.720
And so I was like, I love my daddy.

981
01:04:58.720 --> 01:05:00.000
Like he was the coolest person ever.

982
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:07.140
But my parents, like anytime they would argue, my mom would always come to me and tell me

983
01:05:07.140 --> 01:05:16.180
everything that happened and kind of like I would be her therapist pretty much.

984
01:05:16.180 --> 01:05:21.140
And that happened like every single time they fought.

985
01:05:21.140 --> 01:05:26.820
And so I don't know exactly around what age, but that's kind of when I started seeing my

986
01:05:26.820 --> 01:05:28.700
dad differently.

987
01:05:28.700 --> 01:05:33.540
And like the perspective that I had of him for like years was because of that.

988
01:05:33.540 --> 01:05:36.820
Like I literally never saw the situation like that.

989
01:05:36.820 --> 01:05:42.580
And so the reason I've been feeling so like resentful towards her is because like I love

990
01:05:42.580 --> 01:05:48.500
my dad and I feel like all that time that I was like estranged from him like it didn't

991
01:05:48.500 --> 01:05:51.100
have to be like that.

992
01:05:51.100 --> 01:05:56.440
And so to me, the thing that's been coming up is just like, how could you like, how could

993
01:05:56.440 --> 01:06:00.080
you talk to me like that about him?

994
01:06:00.080 --> 01:06:03.280
Because every time they would argue, he would just tell me like, just pray for her, just

995
01:06:03.280 --> 01:06:04.280
pray for us.

996
01:06:04.280 --> 01:06:06.040
That's like all he would say.

997
01:06:06.040 --> 01:06:09.340
But she would just be like, he did this, he did that.

998
01:06:09.340 --> 01:06:12.360
And so I started to see like, oh, he just wants to be the victim.

999
01:06:12.360 --> 01:06:15.960
He's just like, he's the bad guy always.

1000
01:06:15.960 --> 01:06:21.160
And it just it didn't have to be like that is the thing that sucks.

1001
01:06:21.160 --> 01:06:22.520
Yeah.

1002
01:06:22.520 --> 01:06:25.320
These are tough things that you're seeing.

1003
01:06:25.320 --> 01:06:30.840
And as you're growing up, as you're healing in this stuff, you know, God is just opening

1004
01:06:30.840 --> 01:06:36.160
your eyes to things that were unhealthy as you were growing up in this dynamic.

1005
01:06:36.160 --> 01:06:41.360
One of the things I will say is, you know, what comes to mind is when Jesus forgave the

1006
01:06:41.360 --> 01:06:44.840
people, you know, when he was on the cross and he's like, forgive them for they don't

1007
01:06:44.840 --> 01:06:47.080
know what they're doing.

1008
01:06:47.080 --> 01:06:54.480
You know, I'm not saying that your mom didn't have any idea of what she was doing, but unfortunately,

1009
01:06:54.480 --> 01:07:01.040
sometimes our parents aren't healthy enough, even when they have kids and they don't know

1010
01:07:01.040 --> 01:07:04.920
how to have healthy boundaries.

1011
01:07:04.920 --> 01:07:09.120
They do things sometimes because they want us to side with them.

1012
01:07:09.120 --> 01:07:13.840
And what's interesting, even before you said, I didn't realize that you like when you were

1013
01:07:13.840 --> 01:07:18.440
born that your parents actually had separate houses, because the dynamic that I think is

1014
01:07:18.440 --> 01:07:22.200
interesting that's happening is as you've, you know, done all this work and you've forgiven

1015
01:07:22.200 --> 01:07:24.280
your dad, you guys are getting reconnected.

1016
01:07:24.280 --> 01:07:27.920
And now all of a sudden, there's this divide with your mom, right?

1017
01:07:27.920 --> 01:07:29.800
That's happening.

1018
01:07:29.800 --> 01:07:36.560
And I just felt like the enemy wants you to feel like you have to choose one or the other.

1019
01:07:36.560 --> 01:07:42.040
And you don't, you know, even though your mom's behavior wasn't healthy, and that wasn't

1020
01:07:42.080 --> 01:07:47.000
fair to you, that actually caused you to grow up faster than you needed to.

1021
01:07:47.000 --> 01:07:52.560
And in this situation, you know, potentially, you know, create resentment regarding your

1022
01:07:52.560 --> 01:07:56.720
dad. But I really want to encourage you.

1023
01:07:56.720 --> 01:08:02.680
It doesn't mean you're saying it's OK if even now your mom still does the same thing or

1024
01:08:02.680 --> 01:08:06.880
the ways that she might be even mistreating you right now.

1025
01:08:07.160 --> 01:08:08.720
That's not OK.

1026
01:08:08.720 --> 01:08:15.480
But I feel like God is asking or encouraging you to forgive, because I don't I don't know

1027
01:08:15.480 --> 01:08:20.840
that she even knows the depth of the damage that she was doing.

1028
01:08:20.840 --> 01:08:27.319
And we need to pray and ask God to show her that so that, you know, repentance comes through

1029
01:08:27.319 --> 01:08:28.319
loving kindness.

1030
01:08:28.319 --> 01:08:33.000
And it doesn't have to like the Lord's loving kindness is what leads us to repentance.

1031
01:08:33.000 --> 01:08:37.000
So not necessarily us pointing things out or rebelling against someone.

1032
01:08:37.800 --> 01:08:43.960
So like, for example, even though you feel resentment towards her, I really would

1033
01:08:43.960 --> 01:08:50.120
encourage you, like because you live in their home, to honor your mom and your dad, you

1034
01:08:50.120 --> 01:08:56.200
know, and if she's asking you to do something, if it's not harmful for you, that you

1035
01:08:56.200 --> 01:09:01.000
would honor her and do those things, even if she's not doing right, because at the end

1036
01:09:01.000 --> 01:09:07.800
of the day, you know, we want to do our best to live as an example of what Christ is

1037
01:09:07.800 --> 01:09:13.160
doing. And I feel like the enemy is just trying to keep you from connecting with your

1038
01:09:13.160 --> 01:09:18.640
mom. But some of this I do feel like is part of like is I feel like the Lord needed to

1039
01:09:18.640 --> 01:09:22.840
kind of lift that veil so you could see the situation between your mom and dad a little

1040
01:09:22.840 --> 01:09:27.160
more clearly. And I know that can be painful, but it's not forever.

1041
01:09:27.520 --> 01:09:30.640
And I feel like there's going to be a lot more healing that's going to happen in your

1042
01:09:30.640 --> 01:09:32.680
family as you keep walking this all out.

1043
01:09:34.680 --> 01:09:40.880
Yeah, and I know it's yeah, and I know it's not easy, I you know, my mom was man, a

1044
01:09:40.880 --> 01:09:44.359
tough cookie, and she was that way until she died.

1045
01:09:44.840 --> 01:09:47.160
And so I hope that's not the case for your mom.

1046
01:09:47.160 --> 01:09:50.439
I hope that she'll change and that she'll treat you better.

1047
01:09:50.680 --> 01:09:54.279
And we're going to be praying for her to change her mind regarding school.

1048
01:09:54.279 --> 01:09:56.080
Do you have your car back now or no?

1049
01:09:57.160 --> 01:10:00.080
OK, all right, well, we're going to pray for change.

1050
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:05.440
in that did she say why is it did she do that because you weren't doing things at home is that

1051
01:10:05.440 --> 01:10:13.840
why okay so not that well that that and she said she's just like you've been acting different

1052
01:10:14.480 --> 01:10:19.920
and i told you like since i started this program i've like put up some boundaries with her just

1053
01:10:19.920 --> 01:10:26.000
like not telling her everything anymore and she like will bring that up she's like ever since

1054
01:10:26.000 --> 01:10:31.520
you started that like you're different and like not in a good way so it's been like a lot of things

1055
01:10:32.800 --> 01:10:38.400
and that's that's a spirit of control trying to work through your mom you know and i know again

1056
01:10:38.400 --> 01:10:43.840
that's not easy and i do remember talking with you about it in the group and i just want you

1057
01:10:44.480 --> 01:10:49.200
you to know you're doing a really good job tatiana you really are and i know it can be

1058
01:10:49.200 --> 01:10:55.600
hard when the people closest to you are opposing and saying they're not seeing good but part of

1059
01:10:55.600 --> 01:11:00.160
what you're going through i'm not saying it's okay to rebel again i'm not encouraging that

1060
01:11:01.360 --> 01:11:07.120
but here's the thing the emotions that you're experiencing because of what you're recognizing

1061
01:11:07.120 --> 01:11:14.160
are normal okay and i want to encourage you to keep going now it's now it's time to process

1062
01:11:14.160 --> 01:11:20.400
the forgiveness towards your mom and not you know do your best to not judge her and become

1063
01:11:20.400 --> 01:11:26.000
hyper critical of her but to forgive her and extend grace to her just like we need grace

1064
01:11:26.000 --> 01:11:32.320
and forgiveness okay and again that doesn't mean it's okay you know for toxic behavior but again

1065
01:11:32.320 --> 01:11:38.640
you know unfortunately you're in the house you know and you live with them and all the things

1066
01:11:38.640 --> 01:11:47.120
and so just do your best to be you know safe and healthy and honor your parents and if it's like

1067
01:11:47.120 --> 01:11:52.480
work around the house you know or whatever just try to you know have your heart attitude right

1068
01:11:52.480 --> 01:11:57.120
and serve as you're serving unto the lord not that you're you know if that that's always stuff

1069
01:11:57.120 --> 01:12:03.760
that helped me like if i could focus on serving as i serve like everything i do is unto the lord

1070
01:12:03.760 --> 01:12:09.520
it removes that feeling of like not wanting to do it for someone i'm mad at does that make sense

1071
01:12:10.240 --> 01:12:14.400
yeah and know that the lord sees you and he smiles on that

1072
01:12:16.240 --> 01:12:22.000
yeah you've got this you can do it we're gonna cheer you on through this just like we did with

1073
01:12:22.000 --> 01:12:27.920
your dad and look at how much progress you made yeah it's good to see you you're welcome

1074
01:12:31.280 --> 01:12:36.720
yeah uh ailyn said she's been struggling with her mom lately too so that that helped her as well

1075
01:12:37.680 --> 01:12:46.240
um danielle go ahead i when we were first put in our groups you know the first person that came to

1076
01:12:46.240 --> 01:12:54.480
my mind was my dad and i kind of shared in my group about i feel like i've been on a 12-year

1077
01:12:54.480 --> 01:13:00.960
journey of trying to forgive my dad and i what came to my mind is like i'm kind of partly tired

1078
01:13:00.960 --> 01:13:09.920
of thinking about this um and part of me is like i feel like i've forgiven my dad for not protecting

1079
01:13:09.920 --> 01:13:14.720
me as a child and then literal thousands of things that i've like worked with therapists

1080
01:13:14.720 --> 01:13:22.720
and done over the years and you know my dad we've had a lot of sit downs and i basically

1081
01:13:22.720 --> 01:13:27.280
we agreed we don't work well and we don't have a good relationship and i've asked him to

1082
01:13:28.240 --> 01:13:35.600
i've suggested many things like to work on our relationship and he basically doesn't want to

1083
01:13:35.600 --> 01:13:41.200
and he says things like i'm scared and i don't have the courage that you have and it just feels

1084
01:13:41.200 --> 01:13:47.360
like a cop out and i get that like he's a scared boy kind of but he's you know 65 and hasn't really

1085
01:13:47.360 --> 01:13:53.440
he's not a believer he's not really grown and i think i've forgiven him for the things he's done

1086
01:13:53.520 --> 01:14:00.800
to me as a child but there's a part of me that's like i don't really like him as a person

1087
01:14:01.600 --> 01:14:07.280
and he's just not somebody i would choose to spend time with yeah yeah i'm gonna i think you said

1088
01:14:07.280 --> 01:14:13.760
tendencies he's got some narcissistic tendencies and it's just all about him and i guess i'm kind

1089
01:14:13.760 --> 01:14:19.120
of wrestling with like maybe i have forgiven him because i don't i'm not mad at him i don't hate

1090
01:14:19.120 --> 01:14:26.160
him i i don't wish ill upon him and in fact i pray for him more now than i ever have but i also

1091
01:14:26.160 --> 01:14:32.640
have some type of apathy still and like my sister even texted me today hey is it cool that dad comes

1092
01:14:32.640 --> 01:14:36.800
over on friday when you're here and i'm like cool like that can come i'd love to see dad

1093
01:14:38.160 --> 01:14:42.960
also dad lives around the corner from me and we don't have a relationship and i think i've accepted

1094
01:14:42.960 --> 01:14:51.440
that we might not ever have one um but where's the hope i feel like forgiveness maybe i should

1095
01:14:51.440 --> 01:14:58.880
still have some hope there is apathy like okay i need to pray for his heart because he doesn't know

1096
01:14:58.880 --> 01:14:59.840
god

1097
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:07.000
I don't know, I'm a little confused in this area sometimes with forgiving somebody, you know, does this make sense?

1098
01:15:07.000 --> 01:15:12.000
It does, totally. So I relate a lot to what you're saying.

1099
01:15:12.000 --> 01:15:23.000
You know, I think again, this is where we continue to pray, but sometimes, you know, so often we feel like there's something else we need to keep doing.

1100
01:15:23.000 --> 01:15:31.000
But we've done a ton and we can't change the other person. You know, you can't do the work for him.

1101
01:15:31.000 --> 01:15:37.000
And he's saying, I'm scared, I'm not strong like you, and all these things.

1102
01:15:37.000 --> 01:15:40.000
And so I would encourage you just to release yourself.

1103
01:15:40.000 --> 01:15:47.000
I feel like as the Lord puts your dad on your heart, pray.

1104
01:15:47.000 --> 01:15:53.000
But don't feel like, think what am I trying to say?

1105
01:15:53.000 --> 01:15:58.000
And not that you were thinking this or doing this, but I feel like for your sake and everyone else's.

1106
01:15:58.000 --> 01:16:03.000
Don't feel like it's your job to save your dad.

1107
01:16:03.000 --> 01:16:10.000
Now when I say that, I absolutely believe in the importance of believers praying for non-believers, okay?

1108
01:16:10.000 --> 01:16:19.000
But sometimes even some of us, we break up with people or we end relationships and years later, we're still interceding for those people forever.

1109
01:16:19.000 --> 01:16:26.000
Am I saying that's bad? No, but there comes a day in time where sometimes we feel that release.

1110
01:16:26.000 --> 01:16:31.000
Okay, and it sounds like you have sensed a little bit of that.

1111
01:16:32.000 --> 01:16:40.000
But then there's this, this kind of rumination that's happening where it's kind of like causing you to overanalyze it all the time.

1112
01:16:40.000 --> 01:16:47.000
I think it's, you know, from my perspective, again, I, for those of you that don't know, so my dad and I were not super close.

1113
01:16:47.000 --> 01:16:52.000
My dad had tons of opportunity to try to have relationship with me.

1114
01:16:52.000 --> 01:16:56.000
Even I continue to pursue him many, many, many times.

1115
01:16:56.000 --> 01:17:05.000
And then there just kind of came a time where I was just like, kind of, okay, like he literally chooses to not be a dad.

1116
01:17:05.000 --> 01:17:09.000
And I remember talking with a counselor and a coach about it.

1117
01:17:09.000 --> 01:17:14.000
And the reality is that some people are not capable of it.

1118
01:17:15.000 --> 01:17:29.000
Okay, and I really genuinely I love my dad as a person, but he was not capable of loving me the way I needed to be loved, like in a father daughter relationship.

1119
01:17:29.000 --> 01:17:35.000
He didn't even know my birthday, like literally, you know, just a lot of things.

1120
01:17:36.000 --> 01:17:46.000
And so I processed for years of what to do, how to do it, you know, how much to pray, when to, you know, all these things.

1121
01:17:46.000 --> 01:17:51.000
And I remember just one day the Lord just said, Bethany, like, it's okay to just let it go.

1122
01:17:54.000 --> 01:18:00.000
And I remember just like sometimes still struggling because I had even other friends telling me, you need to try to make this right with him.

1123
01:18:00.000 --> 01:18:02.000
You need to try to reach back out.

1124
01:18:02.000 --> 01:18:04.000
And I'm like, you know, that's fine.

1125
01:18:04.000 --> 01:18:07.000
But see those people, that's what God told them to do.

1126
01:18:07.000 --> 01:18:09.000
God didn't tell me to do that.

1127
01:18:09.000 --> 01:18:12.000
And they were trying to put their life onto me.

1128
01:18:12.000 --> 01:18:14.000
And it wasn't that I wasn't open.

1129
01:18:14.000 --> 01:18:18.000
I wanted my dad to want a relationship with me.

1130
01:18:18.000 --> 01:18:23.000
But I didn't feel like God was asking me to keep chasing after that.

1131
01:18:23.000 --> 01:18:25.000
Now, that's not exactly what you were saying.

1132
01:18:25.000 --> 01:18:33.000
But I just want you to know that if you feel led to just kind of be chill with this, you know, just be okay with that.

1133
01:18:33.000 --> 01:18:39.000
And like release yourself into freedom that you don't have to feel a certain way.

1134
01:18:39.000 --> 01:18:41.000
You don't have to pray a certain amount of times for him.

1135
01:18:41.000 --> 01:18:48.000
Like, you know, again, just really kind of hold it with like open hands and give yourself a lot of grace.

1136
01:18:48.000 --> 01:18:54.000
The one thing that you didn't bring up, but I feel led to kind of mention this and ask you a question about it.

1137
01:18:54.000 --> 01:19:04.000
So when you were talking about your dad and how he said, I'm scared and I'm not strong like you, I forget exactly what else you said.

1138
01:19:04.000 --> 01:19:11.000
But when you were talking about that, I felt led to ask you, is this something you tend to struggle with regarding men?

1139
01:19:11.000 --> 01:19:23.000
Do you tend to attract men that you don't feel act mature or they struggle to not really be as grown up as you need them to be or anything like that?

1140
01:19:23.000 --> 01:19:24.000
Does that any.

1141
01:19:24.000 --> 01:19:26.000
100%.

1142
01:19:26.000 --> 01:19:27.000
Yes.

1143
01:19:27.000 --> 01:19:28.000
Okay.

1144
01:19:28.000 --> 01:19:29.000
Yes.

1145
01:19:29.000 --> 01:19:35.000
It's been my, my not top non-negotiables like spiritual and emotional mature man.

1146
01:19:35.000 --> 01:19:36.000
Okay.

1147
01:19:36.000 --> 01:19:42.000
Because I'm so tired of it from my dad and yes, it's been a big problem.

1148
01:19:42.000 --> 01:19:44.000
Okay.

1149
01:19:44.000 --> 01:19:59.000
So yeah, specifically, have you ever forgiven your dad for not, and I'm not saying he hasn't acted like a grownup, but I feel let, have you ever forgiven your dad for not acting like a grownup?

1150
01:20:00.320 --> 01:20:06.800
No. I think you need to. I encourage you to forgive your dad.

1151
01:20:09.360 --> 01:20:14.320
I am inviting you into that. That specific phrase, because when you were talking,

1152
01:20:14.320 --> 01:20:20.000
that's what I kept hearing in my spirit, was like literally, and this is where ladies,

1153
01:20:20.000 --> 01:20:27.920
we can work on things for years and toil in them, but sometimes it's like that nugget that is really

1154
01:20:27.920 --> 01:20:35.920
at the core of, you know, what is it really that bothers us about our parents or whoever it was

1155
01:20:35.920 --> 01:20:42.320
that hurt us? Like what's at the core of that? And then we choose to forgive that thing. And

1156
01:20:42.320 --> 01:20:47.840
sometimes again, it's this uncovering, if you will, this layering effect where we forgive in

1157
01:20:47.840 --> 01:20:54.720
layers because we don't, we forgive what we know in the moment. And so when you were literally,

1158
01:20:54.720 --> 01:20:59.600
when you're saying that tonight, that's what the Lord told me to ask you is connection to men.

1159
01:20:59.600 --> 01:21:03.920
And then have you ever specifically, and so I would encourage you to do a forgiveness prayer

1160
01:21:03.920 --> 01:21:11.600
sheet and specifically forgive your dad. Again, this is an invitation for not being a grown up

1161
01:21:11.600 --> 01:21:17.280
or whatever. And then just whatever else comes to you, just let it, let it go, let it out.

1162
01:21:17.280 --> 01:21:23.440
And ladies, when you do these, don't hold back. Okay. Don't like judge yourself for saying

1163
01:21:23.440 --> 01:21:28.880
something harsh. I feel the Holy spirit on this. Don't like criticize or like you go to write

1164
01:21:28.880 --> 01:21:32.080
something and then you think, Oh, I shouldn't write that. You know, what if somebody sees this?

1165
01:21:32.080 --> 01:21:37.920
Well, you can burn it literally, but you all need to get this stuff out of you so that it's not

1166
01:21:37.920 --> 01:21:42.800
stored up on the inside. But yeah, I think that's going to be a super important connection for you,

1167
01:21:42.800 --> 01:21:53.680
Daniel. Um, because I feel like the unforgiveness in that specific thing is causing the, it's not

1168
01:21:53.680 --> 01:21:58.880
something you're doing, but it's causing there to be a link to these men that are being attracted to

1169
01:21:58.880 --> 01:22:04.640
you that are also not fully walking in maturity. Does that make sense?

1170
01:22:05.280 --> 01:22:10.880
100% because I've had this belief that, you know, I've kind of compromised a little bit in this

1171
01:22:10.880 --> 01:22:17.840
area. Like, well, I guess men are just kind of immature. Yeah. Like accept. Yeah. So here's

1172
01:22:17.840 --> 01:22:22.640
another layer ladies. So important. Did you hear something that just happened there?

1173
01:22:23.760 --> 01:22:31.760
One of the belief systems that she has about men just came out. So this is where, remember earlier,

1174
01:22:31.760 --> 01:22:36.960
I was talking about these blind spots and filters when somebody hurts us in a certain way or a

1175
01:22:36.960 --> 01:22:43.120
certain area, it creates these blind spots or these filters. It also can create belief systems.

1176
01:22:43.120 --> 01:22:49.360
So for example, um, you might not realize it, but subconsciously it just came out.

1177
01:22:50.080 --> 01:22:57.760
You tend to believe that men are just immature or whatever else things are kind of bubbled up in

1178
01:22:57.760 --> 01:23:03.680
there together. And so again, you might even need to, if there's other men start with your dad,

1179
01:23:03.680 --> 01:23:09.280
but if there's other men that you've dated or even brothers, I don't know if you have brothers,

1180
01:23:09.280 --> 01:23:17.600
any, anybody, any guy that you know that they haven't been able to show up in a mature way

1181
01:23:18.480 --> 01:23:24.480
and it's caused you harm or anything where you felt like you had to step in and lead the

1182
01:23:24.480 --> 01:23:30.080
relationship again, just cleanse your spirit of this stuff and just see what God's going to do

1183
01:23:30.080 --> 01:23:34.800
as you kind of lean into that. Cause I feel like there's just, your dad is kind of at the core

1184
01:23:34.800 --> 01:23:39.760
there, but these other people, you know, are connected to that. And so I think it'll become

1185
01:23:39.760 --> 01:23:44.240
really clear to you as you, as you do it though. And let us know, come into the group, let us know

1186
01:23:44.240 --> 01:23:52.240
how it goes. Okay. Thank you so much. You're welcome. Oh yeah. Uh, let's see. Um, yeah.

1187
01:23:52.800 --> 01:23:57.200
Well, and here's the thing, ladies, um, this is going to, this is a great segue and then I'm going

1188
01:23:57.200 --> 01:24:03.680
to come over to Stacey. So Sherry said something really important. Okay. Yes, I agree. We are strong

1189
01:24:03.680 --> 01:24:09.520
women. We want strong men, but here is what I'm going to throw out there now. Here it is, ladies.

1190
01:24:09.520 --> 01:24:21.040
Are you ready? We need to practice being soft. Yeah. A lot of us, and I am a strong woman too,

1191
01:24:21.040 --> 01:24:26.640
you all, I love accomplishing things. I just preached yesterday and I felt like I could

1192
01:24:26.640 --> 01:24:33.680
conquer the world. It was amazing, but I need to, I need to practice being soft too. And I had to

1193
01:24:33.680 --> 01:24:39.440
learn that a lot in this community. You know, I took care of myself a lot growing up. Um, even

1194
01:24:39.440 --> 01:24:44.160
though I had parents and grandparents, I mean, there was a lot I did for myself. I was the baby

1195
01:24:44.160 --> 01:24:53.280
of four kids and, and grew up in a really rough environment. Um, um, well, Sherry, it's because

1196
01:24:53.280 --> 01:24:59.760
your heart still needs some healing and there are really great men out there, whether you're

1197
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:04.400
to partner with that or not. And I'm not honing in just on Sherry, but I'm seeing her comments come

1198
01:25:04.400 --> 01:25:08.400
in. And I love that she's saying this because this is where, when we're really honest about

1199
01:25:08.400 --> 01:25:13.120
what's going on, even that in us, as I'm saying stuff, she's like, yeah, but this, this is real,

1200
01:25:13.120 --> 01:25:18.080
this is real life. This is live transformation that can happen in us. And so we want to look

1201
01:25:18.080 --> 01:25:24.640
at what do we really believe about men? Do we believe the lie that the enemy is feeding us,

1202
01:25:24.640 --> 01:25:30.320
that there are not enough good men out there? Do we believe that men are lazy? Do we believe that

1203
01:25:30.320 --> 01:25:36.960
men are, you know, for me, that was my, my thing. Men are lazy. You want to know why? Because my

1204
01:25:36.960 --> 01:25:45.920
brother was lazy. I judged him because he would not get out of bed and do the job and the work

1205
01:25:45.920 --> 01:25:51.840
that we were supposed to do. And when my mom would come home, if my brother's list wasn't done,

1206
01:25:51.840 --> 01:25:56.640
it didn't matter that it was his list. All the chores needed to be done by the time she got home.

1207
01:25:57.440 --> 01:26:07.040
And so I got punished for his chores that were not done. Not fair, right? So what I started

1208
01:26:07.040 --> 01:26:13.360
happening is I started resenting him. And then resentment turned into criticism and judgment.

1209
01:26:13.360 --> 01:26:18.640
And then judgment, you know, started turning into me partnering with the lie that not only is my

1210
01:26:18.640 --> 01:26:24.320
brother lazy, but all men are lazy. Even though my grandfather worked hard all the time and I saw it,

1211
01:26:25.040 --> 01:26:31.840
but because my brother was lazy and I live with that, that kind of got way in deeper, you all.

1212
01:26:31.840 --> 01:26:37.760
Okay, so really look at what are the things that you believe about men, what comes up in your heart,

1213
01:26:37.760 --> 01:26:43.280
even during these sessions. You know, what do you believe about yourself? You know, what are the

1214
01:26:43.280 --> 01:26:49.200
thoughts that you're thinking throughout the week about who you are and, you know, what God has for you?

1215
01:26:49.200 --> 01:26:54.240
So love that that came up. I'm going to go ahead and go to Stacy. Would love to hear what you have to say.

1216
01:26:59.520 --> 01:27:01.200
You're muted, Stacy.

1217
01:27:02.160 --> 01:27:15.040
Okay, how's that? Yes, that's great. I'm nervous and excited to talk. You know,

1218
01:27:16.160 --> 01:27:21.920
I wasn't really prepared with what to say because I thought, do I talk about the forgiveness issue

1219
01:27:21.920 --> 01:27:28.160
that I talked about in the breakout room? Or do I share a story that I kind of feel driven to share?

1220
01:27:28.160 --> 01:27:37.040
And I think I'm going to go with the latter. I will put something in the questions on the forum

1221
01:27:37.040 --> 01:27:45.920
for the other, but I've heard so many people in this talk about issues with parents.

1222
01:27:46.640 --> 01:27:53.920
And for that reason, I feel driven to share with you guys a little bit of a story. And don't get

1223
01:27:53.920 --> 01:28:00.640
me wrong, I definitely have an area that I am very much working on forgiveness on, and that

1224
01:28:00.640 --> 01:28:06.960
gives me a lot of pain. But I want to tell you about my relationship with my mom. I will keep

1225
01:28:06.960 --> 01:28:15.840
this brief, but it has been, I'm 52 years old. It has been a very rocky relationship. A lot of abuse

1226
01:28:16.640 --> 01:28:22.480
telling me bad things when I was young. You're a fat, ugly bee. I feel sorry for whoever you end

1227
01:28:22.480 --> 01:28:28.240
up married to. As I was older, she kind of quit that, but would laugh if I were in pain,

1228
01:28:29.040 --> 01:28:37.680
was mad at me, so didn't tell me, kind of cheated me out of saying goodbye to my acting grandma

1229
01:28:37.680 --> 01:28:44.160
because I didn't really have a grandma. Just all kinds of horrible things, right? So anyway,

1230
01:28:45.200 --> 01:28:50.240
life had kind of changed for me two years ago, and those changes and hardships brought me to

1231
01:28:50.240 --> 01:28:56.080
the church. And I have embraced it full heartedly, and my faith has come so far,

1232
01:28:56.080 --> 01:29:01.920
and I've worked and worked and worked on trying forgiveness. Love one another,

1233
01:29:03.280 --> 01:29:08.960
like I have it on my fridge. I look at it every day. And so I read a couple of forgiveness books

1234
01:29:08.960 --> 01:29:16.880
twice, took notes. Anyway, long story short, my mom and I have been estranged for a little

1235
01:29:16.880 --> 01:29:22.560
over six and a half years. And back on March 31st, I took the step, even though I'd already

1236
01:29:22.560 --> 01:29:30.080
forgiven her in my heart, and I sent her a snail mail letter. And I opened the door to talking back

1237
01:29:30.080 --> 01:29:39.440
and forth via mail only for a boundary. And we're four and a half months into that, and I've had to

1238
01:29:39.520 --> 01:29:48.160
reset a boundary after the first couple letters. But she's respected the boundary, and right now

1239
01:29:48.160 --> 01:29:54.880
it's going well. Now, I say this with love. I don't think she's capable of...

1240
01:29:57.120 --> 01:29:59.920
I have firm boundaries in place because I don't think that...

1241
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:03.240
He's capable of not being naughty without those boundaries.

1242
01:30:03.560 --> 01:30:09.980
But I get, I just wanted to share because of so many people have issues and

1243
01:30:09.980 --> 01:30:12.660
struggles and need forgiveness with, with parents.

1244
01:30:12.660 --> 01:30:17.800
So I just wanted to share my story of what happened just kind of as a.

1245
01:30:19.200 --> 01:30:21.520
Faith and to give hope to people.

1246
01:30:22.360 --> 01:30:24.320
So I love that.

1247
01:30:24.400 --> 01:30:29.160
I'm so excited to hear about the reconciliation that's happening there.

1248
01:30:29.160 --> 01:30:34.780
And ladies, I think it's really important just to say this to, um, you know, I say

1249
01:30:34.780 --> 01:30:38.440
this a lot and I don't know if you guys notice it, but I try to say and encourage

1250
01:30:38.440 --> 01:30:44.340
you all to hold things loosely, you know, people situations, you know, Stacy, you're

1251
01:30:44.340 --> 01:30:48.120
pursuing this, you understand and see like, okay, I had to reset a boundary a

1252
01:30:48.120 --> 01:30:52.380
little bit, but this is where it's at and it's going well.

1253
01:30:52.740 --> 01:30:57.520
And you recognize maybe what she's not capable of right now too.

1254
01:30:57.560 --> 01:30:58.800
And I think that's great.

1255
01:30:58.800 --> 01:30:59.920
And that's amazing.

1256
01:31:00.360 --> 01:31:03.760
And I love that you're encouraging other people with your story and that, you

1257
01:31:03.760 --> 01:31:05.520
know, God wants to work.

1258
01:31:05.520 --> 01:31:10.600
It's just whether or not, are we willing to follow his guidance ladies in this

1259
01:31:10.600 --> 01:31:13.520
healing process and to trust him with the rest of it.

1260
01:31:14.000 --> 01:31:17.520
And so, um, I see that some other people put their hands up, but I do have to

1261
01:31:17.520 --> 01:31:21.320
close cause we're at nine 30, but Stacy, thank you for sharing that.

1262
01:31:21.320 --> 01:31:24.440
And I look forward to seeing your post about forgiveness in the group.

1263
01:31:24.740 --> 01:31:26.720
Anyone else I would love for you guys to share.

1264
01:31:26.720 --> 01:31:29.040
If you were going to share about forgiveness or something else that you

1265
01:31:29.040 --> 01:31:32.480
might have a question for, go ahead and put those in the last year, single app

1266
01:31:32.480 --> 01:31:36.120
and the heartwork group under that community tab, and we would love to

1267
01:31:36.120 --> 01:31:37.320
communicate with you there.

1268
01:31:37.320 --> 01:31:40.640
Myself, Andrea, or Kelly will respond to you ladies.

1269
01:31:40.640 --> 01:31:41.760
This has been a great night.

1270
01:31:41.760 --> 01:31:43.880
It's been a beautiful time of connection.

1271
01:31:44.240 --> 01:31:48.260
Um, you know, remember what, um, we do for others.

1272
01:31:48.260 --> 01:31:49.960
God will also do for us.

1273
01:31:50.280 --> 01:31:55.200
So remember that as we forgive, we also are forgiven and just really center

1274
01:31:55.200 --> 01:31:59.520
yourself in, in just, even as we close tonight, just, you know, I want to

1275
01:31:59.800 --> 01:32:03.880
encourage you to pause and just think about when you came to know the Lord

1276
01:32:06.280 --> 01:32:08.440
and all that he brought you out of.

1277
01:32:08.800 --> 01:32:11.080
And maybe for some of you, you're in that process.

1278
01:32:11.080 --> 01:32:15.280
Now, I don't know all of your stories, but I just want you to kind of think

1279
01:32:15.280 --> 01:32:19.920
about all of the sacrifice Jesus made on the cross, like everything, the

1280
01:32:19.920 --> 01:32:25.120
crown being put on his head, you know, his body being broken and shed

1281
01:32:25.120 --> 01:32:30.680
for you, not just for everybody else, but for you, he chose you and you're

1282
01:32:30.680 --> 01:32:31.720
important to him.

1283
01:32:32.680 --> 01:32:36.920
And just as much as he loves you, he loves other people the same.

1284
01:32:37.420 --> 01:32:43.600
And so when I focus on God's Jesus is forgiveness for me, what he did for me.

1285
01:32:44.720 --> 01:32:48.000
And when I remember all that I forget been forgiven of, it helps

1286
01:32:48.000 --> 01:32:50.120
empower me to forgive other people.

1287
01:32:50.520 --> 01:32:53.560
And so I want to encourage you all to take some time with that tonight, this

1288
01:32:53.560 --> 01:32:56.800
week, choose forgiveness as the Lord leads you.

1289
01:32:56.800 --> 01:33:00.360
But remember, you can pray to partner with that as well, because remember

1290
01:33:00.360 --> 01:33:01.680
forgiveness is a choice.

1291
01:33:02.080 --> 01:33:02.880
It's not a feeling.

1292
01:33:02.880 --> 01:33:03.440
Let me pray.

1293
01:33:03.440 --> 01:33:05.560
Father, thank you so much for this night.

1294
01:33:06.000 --> 01:33:08.520
God, I thank you for revealings, for healing that are happening.

1295
01:33:08.520 --> 01:33:09.600
I thank you for freedom.

1296
01:33:09.600 --> 01:33:11.320
I thank you for reconciliation.

1297
01:33:11.680 --> 01:33:16.600
God, I thank you for a release of peace into every one of these ladies.

1298
01:33:16.600 --> 01:33:20.080
God, where the enemy in the past has come in like a flood.

1299
01:33:20.080 --> 01:33:23.400
God, I thank you that you're raising up a standard against him, that we

1300
01:33:23.400 --> 01:33:25.040
don't wrestle against flesh and blood.

1301
01:33:25.040 --> 01:33:28.160
We, we wrestle against the rulers of darkness and the error.

1302
01:33:28.760 --> 01:33:31.680
And so, Lord, I pray that you would help us to remember that as well.

1303
01:33:32.120 --> 01:33:34.040
Give us courage where we need courage.

1304
01:33:34.040 --> 01:33:35.680
Give us grace where we need grace.

1305
01:33:35.680 --> 01:33:40.360
God, I thank you for, um, supernatural breakthroughs happening one on the

1306
01:33:40.360 --> 01:33:44.880
heels of another on the heels of another, and Lord, let it be so in Jesus name.

1307
01:33:45.200 --> 01:33:45.720
Amen.

1308
01:33:45.720 --> 01:33:46.720
God bless you all.

1309
01:33:46.720 --> 01:33:48.000
Have a good night, everyone.

1310
01:33:48.000 --> 01:33:49.200
We'll see you in the group.

1311
01:33:49.360 --> 01:33:50.120
Bye.