WEBVTT

1
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:13.380
Hi, ladies. Welcome. Good evening. Good evening. Good evening. Hello. We're waiting for people

2
00:00:13.380 --> 00:00:19.920
to continue to log in. Who are my new ladies? You're joining for your first live session

3
00:00:19.920 --> 00:00:25.640
tonight, Rachel. I thought you looked like a new little face there. Welcome. Anyone else

4
00:00:25.640 --> 00:00:28.860
joining new for the first time, you can put it in the chat if you're not able to raise

5
00:00:28.860 --> 00:00:36.540
your hand. I'll wait for a sec. Welcome back to everybody that's rejoining again tonight.

6
00:00:36.540 --> 00:00:40.900
I'm sure we'll have some additional ladies joining in here shortly. I hope you all have

7
00:00:40.900 --> 00:00:45.300
been enjoying your summer. If you have kiddos, I don't know if you all are back to school

8
00:00:45.300 --> 00:00:50.100
yet. I know some schools are going back later this week, but we went back here in Florida

9
00:00:50.100 --> 00:00:54.860
last week and so kind of getting families here in the swing of things. So maybe that's

10
00:00:54.900 --> 00:00:59.500
kind of what's happening in some of your lives, praying for you all and for the schools, for

11
00:00:59.500 --> 00:01:03.820
your kids and all the things. If you've not met me before, I'm Bethany Cooper. I'm one

12
00:01:03.820 --> 00:01:06.780
of the Master Heartwork coaches here in our community. I'm so glad that you're here with

13
00:01:06.780 --> 00:01:12.540
us. And for some of you, I know you came in directly into Heartwork. Other people were

14
00:01:12.540 --> 00:01:17.440
a part of our Modern Dating Sucks book club. And I just want to say welcome no matter which

15
00:01:17.440 --> 00:01:21.300
way you came in. We're so glad that you're here and we believe that God has divinely

16
00:01:21.340 --> 00:01:26.100
led you here. And we want to continue to help you gain momentum in your life. We believe

17
00:01:26.100 --> 00:01:32.820
that the heartwork is a key part to the healing process, but also for you getting unstuck

18
00:01:33.100 --> 00:01:39.060
and really gaining some acceleration and momentum in your entire life and that the spirit

19
00:01:39.060 --> 00:01:43.660
mate is the cherry on top. And so as you're here in this community, you're going to hear

20
00:01:43.660 --> 00:01:48.500
us talking about that quite a bit. And anything that we can do to answer questions you

21
00:01:48.500 --> 00:01:53.260
have, we want to help you. For ladies that are brand new in the app, you're going to

22
00:01:53.260 --> 00:01:57.660
see when you log into the Last Year Single app, you're going to see several tabs. Community

23
00:01:57.660 --> 00:02:02.020
tab is where you're going to come in and post your activations, your questions, if you

24
00:02:02.020 --> 00:02:06.900
need prayer, things you're processing. And then there's going to be that courses tab.

25
00:02:06.900 --> 00:02:10.300
That's going to be all of your coursework. Make sure you look in the welcome tab and

26
00:02:10.300 --> 00:02:14.700
check all the things out in there. That's where you need to start, including the video.

27
00:02:14.740 --> 00:02:20.540
Watch that welcome video that's in there for you. There's also a Jesus Cares board video.

28
00:02:20.700 --> 00:02:25.100
All of those are important to your process. So make sure you check those out. Sarah, welcome

29
00:02:25.100 --> 00:02:31.820
for your first time as well. So glad to have you joining us. And then let's see here.

30
00:02:31.820 --> 00:02:38.420
Replays tab is where like when we do replays from this, like this session, the heart, we

31
00:02:38.420 --> 00:02:42.700
call it heart check in, heart work, heart check in. And then also like replays from

32
00:02:42.700 --> 00:02:46.700
Supernatural Saturday when we do prophetic ministry night once a month, that'll be replay

33
00:02:46.700 --> 00:02:51.180
in there. And then the calendar is super important, which most of you are here. So I'm

34
00:02:51.180 --> 00:02:54.940
assuming you've gotten familiar with the calendar because you actually made it here.

35
00:02:54.940 --> 00:02:59.980
But if not, the calendar tab or events tab, excuse me, has the calendar inside of there.

36
00:03:00.140 --> 00:03:05.900
And then events that will be available to you will be in your actual calendar. If you

37
00:03:05.900 --> 00:03:09.620
did not know, I know that some of you in the modern dating sucks when you took that book

38
00:03:09.620 --> 00:03:13.700
club, you're talking about dating or thinking about dating. And if you didn't know, one

39
00:03:13.700 --> 00:03:17.460
of the things that we do here in heart work is we actually press pause on dating. So we're

40
00:03:17.460 --> 00:03:22.180
going to encourage you to take all the things that you learn and just hang on to them for

41
00:03:22.180 --> 00:03:26.180
a few weeks while you go through the heart work. And I believe it will literally kind

42
00:03:26.180 --> 00:03:32.780
of be like a like a catapult forward for you in the days ahead. The reason we encourage

43
00:03:32.780 --> 00:03:36.100
you to do that, obviously, every person can make their own choice. But the reason we

44
00:03:36.100 --> 00:03:40.420
encourage that is because when we are going through heart healing and especially the way

45
00:03:40.420 --> 00:03:43.860
that we have this program built, there's going to be a lot of stuff that's going to get

46
00:03:43.860 --> 00:03:48.220
kicked up in your heart. And sometimes it can lead people to pick individuals that are

47
00:03:48.220 --> 00:03:53.700
not healthy for them because you're going to be leaning into trying to figure out, OK,

48
00:03:53.700 --> 00:03:58.220
what part of me is my counterfeit identity, the part of my sin nature that's leading me

49
00:03:58.220 --> 00:04:04.260
astray and these lies and wounds from the past that are like funneling through there

50
00:04:04.340 --> 00:04:09.780
that are leading me to pick unhealthy people, situations, dynamics. And what part of me

51
00:04:09.780 --> 00:04:15.300
is who God originally created me to be? And literally leaning into God, leading you back

52
00:04:15.300 --> 00:04:20.180
into the fullness of his plan and promise and purpose for you. And so that's part of

53
00:04:20.180 --> 00:04:24.340
why we encourage that. If you have questions about how to navigate that, some people are

54
00:04:24.340 --> 00:04:28.260
like, I just met someone. I definitely want to encourage you. Don't worry, you're not

55
00:04:28.260 --> 00:04:31.980
going to miss out on your spirit mate. If it's your spirit mate that you just met, if

56
00:04:31.980 --> 00:04:36.460
you let them know you're doing a heart healing journey that is about five weeks, depending

57
00:04:36.460 --> 00:04:41.580
on your pace, that you're going to go. If they're your spirit mate, they're going to

58
00:04:41.580 --> 00:04:45.260
cheer you on. They're going to think it's awesome that you're investing in such an incredible

59
00:04:45.260 --> 00:04:51.460
program because you know what? Men like healthy women. Healthy men like healthy women. I should

60
00:04:51.460 --> 00:04:56.580
say it that way. All right. And so lean into that. We encourage you to continue to see

61
00:04:56.580 --> 00:04:59.940
what God has in store for you. Also, just real quick, if you didn't know this.

62
00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:07.200
As well, we really do have a guideline regarding no outside ministry post, no outside content,

63
00:05:07.200 --> 00:05:09.220
no outside thought leaders.

64
00:05:09.220 --> 00:05:12.640
And part of the reason for that, ladies, is just because then our team doesn't have to

65
00:05:12.640 --> 00:05:16.280
go through that content and make sure it aligns with last year's single.

66
00:05:16.280 --> 00:05:17.960
And so we kind of just draw that line.

67
00:05:17.960 --> 00:05:24.040
So if anyone ever posts in the group and that post is from an outside source, it will get

68
00:05:24.040 --> 00:05:25.040
deleted.

69
00:05:25.040 --> 00:05:26.520
So we just want you to know, don't get offended by that.

70
00:05:26.520 --> 00:05:31.080
That's just a guideline that we have set in place for everyone's protection and that

71
00:05:31.080 --> 00:05:32.600
we don't mean anything by it.

72
00:05:32.600 --> 00:05:33.600
Okay.

73
00:05:33.600 --> 00:05:34.600
All right.

74
00:05:34.600 --> 00:05:35.600
Awesome.

75
00:05:35.600 --> 00:05:36.600
Replays from Saturday.

76
00:05:36.600 --> 00:05:38.760
Take, take me back to my first love.

77
00:05:38.760 --> 00:05:45.360
That's going to be an amazing replay for you to listen to if you haven't heard it already.

78
00:05:45.360 --> 00:05:48.760
And Jackie just really leaned into what does that scripture actually mean and what does

79
00:05:48.760 --> 00:05:50.800
it mean for us and how can we live that out?

80
00:05:50.800 --> 00:05:53.880
All right, ladies, let me pray for us and we're going to dive right into our content

81
00:05:53.880 --> 00:05:54.880
for tonight.

82
00:05:54.880 --> 00:05:56.920
God, we thank you so much for who you are.

83
00:05:56.920 --> 00:05:59.240
God, I thank you for everything that you have for us.

84
00:05:59.240 --> 00:06:02.760
God, I thank you that you're revealing areas for healing in our hearts.

85
00:06:02.760 --> 00:06:06.440
God, ladies that are new, ladies that have been here for weeks, maybe even longer, Lord,

86
00:06:06.440 --> 00:06:08.160
we know that you're doing a deep work in us.

87
00:06:08.160 --> 00:06:09.400
We're so grateful for it.

88
00:06:09.400 --> 00:06:12.400
God, we're asking for supernatural breakthrough tonight.

89
00:06:12.400 --> 00:06:16.520
God, revelation from heaven to come and just meet us right where we're at.

90
00:06:16.520 --> 00:06:20.480
God, we thank you that you are the God of love, that you are good, that you are faithful,

91
00:06:20.480 --> 00:06:21.480
that you're kind.

92
00:06:21.480 --> 00:06:24.240
God, help us to see you differently when we leave here tonight.

93
00:06:24.600 --> 00:06:26.400
God, lift the veil from our eyes.

94
00:06:26.400 --> 00:06:30.880
God, we know that people, including ourselves, are deceived because we're deceived.

95
00:06:30.880 --> 00:06:36.400
So Lord, help us to walk out of deception, to walk into truth, and to know more about

96
00:06:36.400 --> 00:06:37.640
who you've called us to be.

97
00:06:37.640 --> 00:06:43.080
Lord, help us to see areas where the enemy has hurt us and wounded us through other people,

98
00:06:43.080 --> 00:06:49.240
through things they've said, sometimes even people in the name of, you know, of the Lord

99
00:06:49.240 --> 00:06:53.040
that they've said or done things that lead us to believe incorrect things about you,

100
00:06:53.040 --> 00:06:55.200
about ourselves, and about other people.

101
00:06:55.200 --> 00:06:57.960
So Lord, we just thank you for just being here with us.

102
00:06:57.960 --> 00:07:00.160
Holy Spirit, come and have your way.

103
00:07:00.160 --> 00:07:02.080
In Jesus' name, amen.

104
00:07:02.080 --> 00:07:05.120
So tonight we're talking about submission, ladies.

105
00:07:05.120 --> 00:07:09.040
Really really important conversation in our heart healing journey.

106
00:07:09.040 --> 00:07:15.400
For those of you that have not heard this session before, tonight's goal is not only

107
00:07:15.400 --> 00:07:22.800
for you to understand what submission means, but it's for you to really lean into growing

108
00:07:22.800 --> 00:07:27.520
in putting meditating on who God is as a priority in your heart.

109
00:07:27.520 --> 00:07:32.440
Not just like, oh, I love the Lord and I go to church, but like, who is God?

110
00:07:32.440 --> 00:07:36.720
And when we know who He is more, out of the overflow of the understanding of His love

111
00:07:36.720 --> 00:07:42.320
for us, you know, that trust that we can grow in in Him, that will enable us to be able

112
00:07:42.320 --> 00:07:44.800
to submit to Him.

113
00:07:44.800 --> 00:07:49.040
Because as we're talking about submission, yes, we are going to touch on submitting in

114
00:07:49.040 --> 00:07:53.480
a healthy way to someone else, but we're also first and foremost going to talk about

115
00:07:53.480 --> 00:07:56.960
submitting to the most important person, which is God Himself.

116
00:07:56.960 --> 00:08:01.800
And so many times when we get wounded and we go through dynamic situations, we will

117
00:08:01.800 --> 00:08:07.480
put up, you know, fences and walls and all this stuff and we'll hear the enemy lying

118
00:08:07.480 --> 00:08:11.560
to us, trying to convince us that we cannot even trust God.

119
00:08:11.560 --> 00:08:15.920
And that leads us to oftentimes not submitting to God and the things that He's doing in His

120
00:08:15.920 --> 00:08:16.920
life.

121
00:08:16.920 --> 00:08:17.920
Can everyone else hear?

122
00:08:18.440 --> 00:08:23.680
Okay, Alina, can someone type to Alina and just let her know that you can hear so she

123
00:08:23.680 --> 00:08:29.120
might want to check her audio because it'll distract me a little bit long.

124
00:08:29.120 --> 00:08:35.720
And so on that note, I want you to really be thinking about God will not trespass.

125
00:08:35.720 --> 00:08:39.559
What that means is that He must be permitted to enter.

126
00:08:39.559 --> 00:08:44.280
So we are the ones that get to partner with Him and give Him permission to enter.

127
00:08:44.440 --> 00:08:49.680
And I want you to think about even when you accepted Jesus, if you are a believer, accepted

128
00:08:49.680 --> 00:08:53.400
Jesus as your Lord and Savior, you accepted Him into your heart.

129
00:08:53.400 --> 00:08:56.780
That's a prayer that we most times have prayed.

130
00:08:56.780 --> 00:08:58.120
Why do we do that?

131
00:08:58.120 --> 00:08:59.680
Think about it.

132
00:08:59.680 --> 00:09:01.080
Because He's not a trespasser.

133
00:09:01.080 --> 00:09:02.240
He's not an invader.

134
00:09:02.240 --> 00:09:06.960
He's not someone that's going to come and push the door down and force His way on us.

135
00:09:06.960 --> 00:09:09.920
No, the Bible says, and we're going to talk about the scripture in a little bit, but He

136
00:09:09.920 --> 00:09:12.280
stands at the door of our heart and He knocks.

137
00:09:12.280 --> 00:09:17.200
And so no matter what you've learned in the past, no matter what you've believed, or even

138
00:09:17.200 --> 00:09:22.760
just maybe because, you know, you had parents or other people in authority over you that

139
00:09:22.760 --> 00:09:27.280
forced their way in or forced their opinion, or maybe even told you that your thoughts

140
00:09:27.280 --> 00:09:32.240
and opinions didn't matter, but theirs, you know, trumped yours, no matter what you wanted,

141
00:09:32.240 --> 00:09:36.800
no matter what you felt, ladies, that impacts the way we see the Lord.

142
00:09:36.800 --> 00:09:39.560
That impacts the way we experience the Lord.

143
00:09:39.560 --> 00:09:44.520
And it also impacts whether or not we are willing, oftentimes, to submit to Him.

144
00:09:44.520 --> 00:09:49.920
And so I want you just to kind of lean into, God, thank you that you're not a trespasser.

145
00:09:49.920 --> 00:09:54.840
God, thank you that you love me enough to give me a choice.

146
00:09:54.840 --> 00:09:57.960
So God gives us all free choice, and we're going to talk about that here in a little

147
00:09:57.960 --> 00:09:59.720
bit, but God is a giver.

148
00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:05.240
And one of the most beautiful gifts He has given to each one of us is that free will I was just mentioning.

149
00:10:06.320 --> 00:10:08.800
It's the free will to choose and

150
00:10:09.640 --> 00:10:11.420
including choosing Him.

151
00:10:11.420 --> 00:10:16.600
He respects our boundaries, and He's not going to force anything on you. Now this afternoon

152
00:10:16.600 --> 00:10:18.800
I was joking a little bit, but this is really real.

153
00:10:18.960 --> 00:10:25.040
There are some people that actually believe that God is going to force them. When we start talking in this community

154
00:10:25.040 --> 00:10:27.640
we coach a lot, and it's a yes until it's a no.

155
00:10:28.320 --> 00:10:33.000
And how to discern what that means even. And some people are like, well if that's the case,

156
00:10:33.000 --> 00:10:34.320
what if I'm on this date?

157
00:10:34.320 --> 00:10:35.960
And I don't think this person's attractive at all.

158
00:10:35.960 --> 00:10:42.120
God's just gonna force me to marry someone that I'm not even attracted to? No ladies, that's not what we're saying.

159
00:10:42.640 --> 00:10:44.880
Okay, God isn't a trickster.

160
00:10:44.880 --> 00:10:51.560
He's not trying to lure you and hook you into something really unhealthy and that you would be miserable in. He's a good father.

161
00:10:52.320 --> 00:10:54.320
But see we think a lot of these things.

162
00:10:54.320 --> 00:10:57.400
And so I want you even now to be asking the Lord,

163
00:10:58.200 --> 00:11:05.520
Lord, is there any area where I have limiting belief systems or negative thought patterns about who you are?

164
00:11:06.920 --> 00:11:08.920
Ways that I view you

165
00:11:09.200 --> 00:11:13.720
that lead me to believe that you would lead me into something that would hurt me or

166
00:11:14.320 --> 00:11:19.280
cause me to feel deep sadness or whatever that is. Some of you,

167
00:11:19.280 --> 00:11:23.440
I don't know if you're like me, but I was in a marriage before that was very lonely.

168
00:11:25.320 --> 00:11:27.320
And I

169
00:11:28.200 --> 00:11:33.760
thought God was leading me into that. But see my brokenness led me into that.

170
00:11:34.640 --> 00:11:39.680
And I blew past a ton of red flags, and I didn't listen to God on several occasions.

171
00:11:40.280 --> 00:11:42.480
Same thing in another relationship I was in.

172
00:11:43.320 --> 00:11:50.240
But see now when we grow and we heal, we can start to not blow past those flags when the Lord is revealing those things to us.

173
00:11:50.400 --> 00:11:56.720
That's what a healed heart does. A healed heart listens to wisdom, and it doesn't keep going.

174
00:11:57.800 --> 00:12:01.800
So tonight I want you to think about even as we're talking about some of these things.

175
00:12:03.320 --> 00:12:09.440
People in your life, I'm just gonna kind of phrase it this way, and I don't mean any disrespect to anyone. As you guys know,

176
00:12:09.440 --> 00:12:11.960
I'm a pastor's wife. I also preach myself.

177
00:12:12.320 --> 00:12:16.680
You know people could take something out of context out of what I say and try to twist it.

178
00:12:16.680 --> 00:12:18.080
So that's not what I'm trying to do tonight.

179
00:12:18.080 --> 00:12:24.680
But the reality in our world is this. There are some people that are really kind of under that spirit of religion,

180
00:12:25.000 --> 00:12:28.360
men and women alike, who have weaponized the word

181
00:12:28.920 --> 00:12:33.800
submission. And they portrayed their thoughts and messages as if they are from God himself.

182
00:12:34.720 --> 00:12:38.160
But they've been misrepresenting God in his heart and

183
00:12:39.480 --> 00:12:42.320
truth regarding what submission actually means.

184
00:12:43.320 --> 00:12:47.200
And I'm not saying that's all. I'm just saying, you know, maybe a handful.

185
00:12:47.200 --> 00:12:52.360
I don't know how many, but you know, we all come across these individuals where they mean well.

186
00:12:52.360 --> 00:12:54.960
I think. I want to believe they mean well.

187
00:12:55.080 --> 00:13:00.600
But I think that they misunderstand what scripture actually means. They've taken things out of context,

188
00:13:01.560 --> 00:13:06.600
and they've taught them as truth. The Holy Spirit is the one who can help us discern

189
00:13:07.160 --> 00:13:09.160
what God's truth is about

190
00:13:09.760 --> 00:13:13.680
submission more and more in the days to come. And so I really want to encourage you even now,

191
00:13:13.920 --> 00:13:17.480
Lord, I pray that you'll just start to show me the truth regarding submission.

192
00:13:17.920 --> 00:13:23.520
That I'll start to see ways that I've been influenced by people that has not been healthy regarding

193
00:13:23.680 --> 00:13:27.160
what true submission actually means. And we're going to talk about that tonight.

194
00:13:28.320 --> 00:13:32.320
But we must be willing to allow God to heal us from this stuff and

195
00:13:32.960 --> 00:13:39.120
reveal areas where we've been under these influences, where we've had these misconceptions, these belief systems,

196
00:13:39.120 --> 00:13:44.480
that are holding us up. They're actually causing us to get stuck. Because here's the reality, ladies.

197
00:13:44.960 --> 00:13:47.200
If we don't learn how to submit to God,

198
00:13:48.560 --> 00:13:52.960
then we will really struggle to submit one to another with our spirit mate.

199
00:13:53.760 --> 00:13:57.360
And when that happens, you can never truly become a team.

200
00:13:59.040 --> 00:14:02.720
You might be married, but you're going to really struggle.

201
00:14:03.440 --> 00:14:07.760
Because even in healthy marriages, two people becoming one is not an easy task.

202
00:14:09.120 --> 00:14:11.120
Right?

203
00:14:11.120 --> 00:14:13.120
But the Lord enables us. He can help us.

204
00:14:14.240 --> 00:14:16.240
Colossians 3.21 says this,

205
00:14:23.920 --> 00:14:25.920
Now I'm pulling this scripture out tonight,

206
00:14:26.320 --> 00:14:31.360
not just to focus on fathers alone, but I am going to focus on fathers as well.

207
00:14:31.760 --> 00:14:38.160
But not only biological fathers. I'm talking about fathers of influence, mothers of influence.

208
00:14:38.160 --> 00:14:44.800
So it can be your biological parents, grandparents, but it also can be people that have been in leadership over you.

209
00:14:45.120 --> 00:14:48.640
It can be spiritual mothers and fathers. It could be bosses.

210
00:14:49.120 --> 00:14:52.160
You know, I want you just to kind of be thinking. Some of you were even,

211
00:14:52.560 --> 00:14:56.560
you know, maybe your mom and dad, for whatever reason, were not able to be around a lot.

212
00:14:57.600 --> 00:14:59.600
Some of you were raised by adult-like

213
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:06.080
siblings that were older than you. So that could even fit for some of you tonight, all right?

214
00:15:07.280 --> 00:15:11.520
In the scripture, the reason I'm pulling it out is because it says something super important from

215
00:15:11.520 --> 00:15:16.800
my perspective, and I'm going to read it to you again. Fathers, do not embitter your children,

216
00:15:16.800 --> 00:15:22.480
or they will become discouraged. In this provoking here, the word here,

217
00:15:24.080 --> 00:15:27.840
even though it doesn't say that, like that, do not embitter your children, that

218
00:15:27.840 --> 00:15:33.360
leads to provoking them, that leads to causing someone to be, you know, bitter and stirring

219
00:15:33.360 --> 00:15:39.360
them up. So that's what that embitter, it also goes in the King James Version to provoke.

220
00:15:39.360 --> 00:15:45.760
And when I started looking this up, when I really started leaning into it, it's saying this whole,

221
00:15:45.760 --> 00:15:53.440
don't excite them, don't stir them up, don't especially stimulate them into anger. And so I

222
00:15:53.440 --> 00:15:58.720
want you to think about people in your life that have said or done things that when they've been

223
00:15:58.720 --> 00:16:04.800
around you, or you've encountered situations with them, where you might've felt that kind of,

224
00:16:04.800 --> 00:16:11.040
that really quick anger rise to the surface, that incite, that provocation to anger, if you will.

225
00:16:11.600 --> 00:16:16.560
And I want you just to really start asking the Lord, okay, was that Lord from you?

226
00:16:17.760 --> 00:16:22.880
Or was I experiencing that because there was something in my spirit that was also disagreeing

227
00:16:23.440 --> 00:16:29.360
with that negative stuff going on in the spirit realm? Because that can happen, y'all. I have been

228
00:16:29.360 --> 00:16:36.000
in multiple churches now with my husband. Since I've married him, this is our third placement.

229
00:16:36.000 --> 00:16:39.840
Hopefully we're going to be here for a while. The other denomination we were in, they moved people

230
00:16:40.800 --> 00:16:44.560
pretty frequently, which was really tough, but we've been here for a little over two years.

231
00:16:44.560 --> 00:16:49.360
But I'm saying that to you to say this, I didn't have a great relationship with my dad,

232
00:16:49.360 --> 00:16:57.440
unfortunately, growing up. And when my dad was around, excuse me, he wasn't super friendly. And

233
00:16:57.440 --> 00:17:06.319
the one kind of key memory I have is he spanked me. I have no clue what I did. I just know that

234
00:17:06.319 --> 00:17:12.880
I think my sister and me both got spanked. But I'm saying that to you to say this, there were a

235
00:17:12.880 --> 00:17:18.240
lot of other things that were going on in the home, not just with my dad, but my brothers.

236
00:17:18.240 --> 00:17:23.520
My brothers fought, fist fought all the time, and they also hit my sister. So I saw a lot of that

237
00:17:23.520 --> 00:17:27.920
kind of stuff happening in the home. I'm saying that to you because I grew up trying to be a

238
00:17:27.920 --> 00:17:33.120
peacemaker, trying to keep the peace between everybody and getting caught in the middle a lot.

239
00:17:33.120 --> 00:17:40.480
And so I saw a lot of that stuff happening. And so what I know is that in these churches,

240
00:17:40.480 --> 00:17:47.840
it's been very interesting. Men that are older, and it happens with women too, and I think that's

241
00:17:48.080 --> 00:17:54.560
from the wounds from my mom. But in almost every church we've been in, there's been one or two

242
00:17:54.560 --> 00:18:00.320
men that I will call them, and I love them. I do love them in my heart, but they're grumpy old men,

243
00:18:00.880 --> 00:18:08.080
literally grumpy old men. Not the funny movie, Grumpy Old Men, but legit, they're not happy

244
00:18:08.080 --> 00:18:17.040
people. And so for whatever reason, they also don't seem to like women who are strong. And so

245
00:18:17.840 --> 00:18:22.400
there's just been a lot of things that have happened over the years where I know it is

246
00:18:22.400 --> 00:18:28.160
because I'm still working out all this stuff regarding my dad and my brothers growing up.

247
00:18:28.160 --> 00:18:33.120
And the more I heal, the more freedom I get from that, and the less those things, those people

248
00:18:33.120 --> 00:18:38.240
might still do those things, but the less it bothers me. Y'all get what I'm saying?

249
00:18:39.360 --> 00:18:45.600
We can be around unhealthy people and it not bother us at all. We can get to that point.

250
00:18:46.480 --> 00:18:52.000
I'm still working on that. I don't know about you all, but I'm still working on that. Sometimes I'm

251
00:18:52.000 --> 00:18:57.120
totally fine depending on what the situation is, but get me around certain types of people and I'm

252
00:18:57.120 --> 00:19:03.840
just like, oh, it just rubs me like sandpaper the wrong way. So think about that. I'm pretty

253
00:19:03.840 --> 00:19:09.280
transparent with myself. I try to be really self-aware because that's when I can pray about

254
00:19:09.280 --> 00:19:14.960
something quickly. And the Bible says, keep short accounts. There's a reason for that. All right. So

255
00:19:15.520 --> 00:19:19.600
I want you to think about, were there times that you were disheartened by the way someone

256
00:19:19.600 --> 00:19:24.240
treated you or spoke to you? Were there things that broke your spirit?

257
00:19:26.560 --> 00:19:32.400
You know, when you were trying to, some of you even laugh and have your personality and that

258
00:19:32.400 --> 00:19:38.000
was not allowed. It wasn't okay for you to be silly and goofy and laugh and you were too loud

259
00:19:38.000 --> 00:19:44.320
or you were too this or whatever that might be. Now, obviously as kids, we are learning that

260
00:19:44.320 --> 00:19:51.680
balance, you know, of growing up and, you know, having fun and giggly and being, but also not

261
00:19:51.680 --> 00:19:58.480
going overboard. I know we have to learn that, but I've also seen so many times, you know,

262
00:19:58.480 --> 00:19:59.920
and again, I'm not judging parents.

263
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:06.320
But even when I was with my spiritual daughters and their dad, like so many times the girls,

264
00:20:06.320 --> 00:20:10.640
they would just be, they were just being little girls.

265
00:20:10.640 --> 00:20:14.640
And it just was not allowed on so many levels.

266
00:20:14.640 --> 00:20:16.720
And so I saw a lot of that kind of treatment.

267
00:20:16.720 --> 00:20:20.680
And so if that's you, God wants to heal you from that stuff tonight.

268
00:20:20.680 --> 00:20:23.240
And then I also want to address this.

269
00:20:23.240 --> 00:20:28.240
Not only is it, as I mentioned earlier, fathers and father figures, but it's also mothers,

270
00:20:28.640 --> 00:20:34.000
especially I want to hone in on what I kind of have prayed a lot about this.

271
00:20:34.000 --> 00:20:36.000
And this is something I saw in my mom.

272
00:20:36.000 --> 00:20:37.680
And so that's where I came up with this.

273
00:20:38.480 --> 00:20:42.400
And the Bible talks about this as well, but mothers who were very brazen.

274
00:20:43.680 --> 00:20:48.400
So very brazen in their behavior and treatment towards their daughters,

275
00:20:48.400 --> 00:20:53.600
walked maybe in a masculine energy, maybe because again, I don't fault my mom,

276
00:20:53.600 --> 00:20:55.760
but like she was a single mom.

277
00:20:55.840 --> 00:20:59.840
And so she had to be mom and dad a lot.

278
00:20:59.840 --> 00:21:02.080
That was probably really, really hard.

279
00:21:02.080 --> 00:21:06.640
And so because of that, sometimes I think there were ways that she was,

280
00:21:07.200 --> 00:21:11.440
you know, not in her divine feminine and leaning into that divine masculine,

281
00:21:11.440 --> 00:21:12.320
but she's a woman.

282
00:21:12.320 --> 00:21:18.960
And so when that happens, women tend to come across very brazen and harsh in a lot of ways.

283
00:21:18.960 --> 00:21:21.360
And so maybe some of you have gone through that as well.

284
00:21:21.920 --> 00:21:25.760
I'm not stirring all this stuff up tonight just to make you feel pain.

285
00:21:25.760 --> 00:21:29.680
It's to encourage us to have these revealings for healing,

286
00:21:29.680 --> 00:21:33.840
to forgive these individuals that have mistreated us for their unhealthy actions,

287
00:21:33.840 --> 00:21:37.120
their unhealthy words, treatment that they committed towards us,

288
00:21:37.120 --> 00:21:42.720
that caused us to ultimately not trust God, a lot of us.

289
00:21:43.280 --> 00:21:46.240
But I want you to know that God is not like this.

290
00:21:46.240 --> 00:21:47.520
God is not brazen.

291
00:21:47.520 --> 00:21:49.760
God is not, you know, demeaning.

292
00:21:49.840 --> 00:21:53.200
God is not, you know, He's not trying to control you.

293
00:21:54.160 --> 00:21:56.720
He's trying to invite you into an upgrade.

294
00:21:56.720 --> 00:22:00.000
He's trying to invite you into a revelation of what He has for you.

295
00:22:00.880 --> 00:22:01.920
I talk a lot.

296
00:22:02.800 --> 00:22:04.160
Some people don't like this picture.

297
00:22:04.160 --> 00:22:05.840
Some people do, but it really helps me.

298
00:22:06.640 --> 00:22:09.440
And so I tend to talk about it in this week.

299
00:22:09.440 --> 00:22:13.840
But there's a picture out there of this little girl with a little teddy bear behind her back

300
00:22:14.480 --> 00:22:15.600
or in front of her.

301
00:22:15.600 --> 00:22:19.440
And then she's with Jesus, and Jesus has this big teddy bear behind His back.

302
00:22:20.720 --> 00:22:23.840
That's not because Jesus is withholding it from her,

303
00:22:25.040 --> 00:22:29.040
but Jesus is waiting for her to give Him what she has

304
00:22:29.840 --> 00:22:31.440
because He has something better for her.

305
00:22:32.320 --> 00:22:33.600
She can't see that yet.

306
00:22:34.320 --> 00:22:38.240
But ladies, I want you to know, like, a lot of times we can't see it.

307
00:22:38.240 --> 00:22:40.880
We can't see all that God has for us.

308
00:22:40.880 --> 00:22:45.120
We can't see the blessings that He's waiting and He's excited to give us.

309
00:22:45.680 --> 00:22:47.280
And He's not withholding them from us.

310
00:22:47.280 --> 00:22:52.720
But if He gave them to us too soon, ladies, we would actually not know what to do with them.

311
00:22:54.000 --> 00:22:56.560
Some of us were like, we're ready to get married.

312
00:22:56.560 --> 00:22:58.800
I'm married almost four years, so I'm ready now.

313
00:22:58.800 --> 00:22:59.520
I'm already ready.

314
00:22:59.520 --> 00:23:00.400
I've been there.

315
00:23:00.400 --> 00:23:04.080
But I'm just saying, like, even before I got married several years ago,

316
00:23:04.080 --> 00:23:05.840
I'm a success story from this community.

317
00:23:07.200 --> 00:23:11.360
You know, I thought I was ready when I met my girl's dad.

318
00:23:11.360 --> 00:23:12.560
Clearly, I wasn't.

319
00:23:13.360 --> 00:23:17.520
Or I wouldn't have stayed in a very unhealthy relationship for six years.

320
00:23:18.480 --> 00:23:24.080
So in my healing process, learning how to date in healthy ways,

321
00:23:24.080 --> 00:23:27.280
learning how to really see the areas that were still getting me tripped up

322
00:23:27.280 --> 00:23:29.200
to pick people that were super unhealthy.

323
00:23:30.720 --> 00:23:34.960
I had a lot of not good beliefs about my values and what I was worth.

324
00:23:34.960 --> 00:23:37.280
And that's part of what led me down that path.

325
00:23:37.840 --> 00:23:41.760
But man, I didn't fully, like, I knew God loved me.

326
00:23:41.760 --> 00:23:43.280
And I knew God was good.

327
00:23:43.280 --> 00:23:44.240
And I knew he was faithful.

328
00:23:44.240 --> 00:23:47.520
I knew all the truths up here, right?

329
00:23:47.520 --> 00:23:49.840
And I knew a lot of it down here in my heart.

330
00:23:49.840 --> 00:23:54.000
But man, God wanted me to really, really, really know it.

331
00:23:55.760 --> 00:23:58.800
And I remember the day sitting in my car, just feeling like,

332
00:23:58.800 --> 00:24:02.480
God, I just wish I was secure in you.

333
00:24:02.480 --> 00:24:06.000
I wish I understood more what you're doing right now.

334
00:24:07.280 --> 00:24:11.200
And I just remember feeling led to pray, like, to know him more as love.

335
00:24:11.200 --> 00:24:13.280
God, help me to know you more as love.

336
00:24:13.280 --> 00:24:14.720
God, help me to know you more.

337
00:24:14.720 --> 00:24:16.880
Every day, I just started praying that prayer.

338
00:24:16.880 --> 00:24:18.400
God, help me to know you more as love.

339
00:24:19.280 --> 00:24:21.200
Because the more secure I get in your love,

340
00:24:21.200 --> 00:24:24.240
I really believe that things can change for me.

341
00:24:25.200 --> 00:24:28.560
And that literally, I believe, is part of the prayers that led me

342
00:24:29.120 --> 00:24:34.000
to counseling that I started doing to end up in Jackie's program.

343
00:24:34.000 --> 00:24:37.760
And I really believe some of those prayers paved the way for me.

344
00:24:38.240 --> 00:24:42.320
See, it was key, growing in my understanding of God's character.

345
00:24:42.320 --> 00:24:44.640
It's vital to our healing process, ladies.

346
00:24:45.360 --> 00:24:48.480
And I want to encourage you to step further into the freedom

347
00:24:48.480 --> 00:24:50.960
and the fullness of God's plans and promises for you

348
00:24:50.960 --> 00:24:53.280
as you learn more and more who he is.

349
00:24:53.280 --> 00:24:55.520
So I want you just to be thinking about a couple things

350
00:24:56.320 --> 00:25:00.160
that you would start praying to grow in your life.

351
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:03.720
and to grow to know God in these following ways.

352
00:25:03.720 --> 00:25:05.100
Who is God as love?

353
00:25:06.040 --> 00:25:09.920
And not just in general, because you read it in scripture,

354
00:25:09.920 --> 00:25:14.920
but who is God as love to you and for you?

355
00:25:15.000 --> 00:25:16.960
Who is God as kind?

356
00:25:16.960 --> 00:25:18.560
Who is God as faithful?

357
00:25:19.480 --> 00:25:21.640
Who is God as good?

358
00:25:21.640 --> 00:25:22.880
And who is God as peace?

359
00:25:22.880 --> 00:25:23.800
Now there's so many more,

360
00:25:23.800 --> 00:25:27.680
but these were the ones I felt led to do for this session.

361
00:25:27.680 --> 00:25:29.200
And if we will all,

362
00:25:29.200 --> 00:25:31.520
I probably even need to revisit this as well.

363
00:25:31.520 --> 00:25:33.160
I'm saying that this afternoon,

364
00:25:33.160 --> 00:25:34.200
not because I don't know it,

365
00:25:34.200 --> 00:25:35.680
but I feel like I'm on the brink

366
00:25:35.680 --> 00:25:37.560
of some more fresh revelation.

367
00:25:37.560 --> 00:25:38.400
You ever feel that way?

368
00:25:38.400 --> 00:25:39.880
Or just, you feel like it's,

369
00:25:39.880 --> 00:25:41.600
you know that God is teaching you

370
00:25:41.600 --> 00:25:43.440
some really important things.

371
00:25:43.440 --> 00:25:44.280
Yeah.

372
00:25:45.200 --> 00:25:47.820
We can't ever get enough revelation of who he is.

373
00:25:48.800 --> 00:25:51.520
We won't fully understand until we get to heaven.

374
00:25:52.840 --> 00:25:55.040
And then we're really gonna know.

375
00:25:55.040 --> 00:25:57.480
But God wants to help us know that more here,

376
00:25:57.480 --> 00:25:59.280
the more that we can.

377
00:25:59.280 --> 00:26:02.280
We talked this afternoon in the session about capacity.

378
00:26:02.280 --> 00:26:05.320
I feel like it's important to mention that here.

379
00:26:05.320 --> 00:26:07.640
Ladies, I want you to be really kind to yourselves

380
00:26:07.640 --> 00:26:08.520
in this process.

381
00:26:08.520 --> 00:26:09.480
And even, you know,

382
00:26:09.480 --> 00:26:12.760
if you move beyond here into the next phases,

383
00:26:12.760 --> 00:26:14.680
that you would be really kind to yourself,

384
00:26:14.680 --> 00:26:17.000
that you would understand that you have

385
00:26:17.000 --> 00:26:20.200
only a certain amount of capacity right now.

386
00:26:21.640 --> 00:26:22.760
And then tomorrow,

387
00:26:22.760 --> 00:26:25.560
maybe you'll have a little more capacity.

388
00:26:25.560 --> 00:26:27.200
And then maybe, you know,

389
00:26:27.200 --> 00:26:28.040
five weeks from now,

390
00:26:28.040 --> 00:26:29.360
you're gonna have a little more capacity.

391
00:26:29.360 --> 00:26:30.520
What do I mean by that?

392
00:26:30.520 --> 00:26:33.420
Capacity to understand the things that we're teaching you.

393
00:26:35.280 --> 00:26:37.620
I have a lady, love her, super sweet.

394
00:26:39.080 --> 00:26:41.480
Everybody's trauma is different ladies, okay?

395
00:26:41.480 --> 00:26:43.200
Different people go through different stuff.

396
00:26:43.200 --> 00:26:45.880
She's been in the heart work.

397
00:26:45.880 --> 00:26:48.480
She said today, a year and a half it's been.

398
00:26:48.480 --> 00:26:50.560
It's gone really fast from my perspective,

399
00:26:50.560 --> 00:26:52.720
but the reason she's been here that long

400
00:26:52.720 --> 00:26:55.600
is she just has felt like she really needed it.

401
00:26:55.600 --> 00:27:00.280
You know, she said today that she really never knew love

402
00:27:00.280 --> 00:27:01.560
until she came here.

403
00:27:02.600 --> 00:27:03.920
What a compliment.

404
00:27:05.160 --> 00:27:06.640
Wow.

405
00:27:06.640 --> 00:27:07.840
I just thought what an honor

406
00:27:07.840 --> 00:27:12.440
that I've got to be a part of that process a little bit.

407
00:27:12.440 --> 00:27:14.160
And so I wanna encourage some of you,

408
00:27:14.160 --> 00:27:16.840
you've just had a really rough road.

409
00:27:16.840 --> 00:27:19.200
Am I saying you need to all be here a year and a half?

410
00:27:19.200 --> 00:27:21.480
No, that's not what I'm saying.

411
00:27:21.480 --> 00:27:24.560
But some of you might need to take more than five weeks.

412
00:27:24.560 --> 00:27:27.700
Trust the process because some of you don't know God

413
00:27:27.700 --> 00:27:29.960
as kind or good or faithful.

414
00:27:30.880 --> 00:27:34.040
Some of you still believe that he is a taker

415
00:27:34.040 --> 00:27:35.520
and that he plays tricks,

416
00:27:35.520 --> 00:27:37.560
that he dangles carrots in front of you

417
00:27:37.560 --> 00:27:39.000
and then takes them away.

418
00:27:40.520 --> 00:27:43.480
Or whatever it is that maybe is a negative thing

419
00:27:43.480 --> 00:27:44.480
you might be believing

420
00:27:44.480 --> 00:27:46.700
and God wants to help you heal in those areas.

421
00:27:46.700 --> 00:27:48.600
The word submission actually means

422
00:27:48.600 --> 00:27:50.360
to yield to the power of another.

423
00:27:50.360 --> 00:27:54.600
That means that two people or me and God,

424
00:27:54.600 --> 00:27:55.880
between me and God,

425
00:27:55.880 --> 00:27:58.680
I'm choosing to submit to his power.

426
00:27:58.680 --> 00:28:02.600
In my marriage, I'm choosing to submit to my husband

427
00:28:02.600 --> 00:28:05.520
and he's choosing to submit to me too.

428
00:28:05.520 --> 00:28:07.360
It's partnership.

429
00:28:07.360 --> 00:28:09.480
It's not lording it over one another.

430
00:28:09.480 --> 00:28:13.360
It's not my husband making me submit to him.

431
00:28:16.000 --> 00:28:18.800
So ladies, where is God asking you

432
00:28:18.800 --> 00:28:20.480
to let go in the process

433
00:28:21.920 --> 00:28:24.240
and learn how to trust him a little bit more?

434
00:28:26.400 --> 00:28:28.240
You know, we say we trust Jesus

435
00:28:28.240 --> 00:28:30.160
and then we try to take that wheel back, don't we?

436
00:28:30.160 --> 00:28:31.520
So often that song,

437
00:28:31.520 --> 00:28:34.160
it's so famous that Jackie talks about.

438
00:28:36.080 --> 00:28:38.760
And you might not even fully see it,

439
00:28:38.760 --> 00:28:41.280
but as the Lord takes you through this process,

440
00:28:41.280 --> 00:28:43.680
some of you will see the ways

441
00:28:43.680 --> 00:28:46.320
that you've been trying to take over for God.

442
00:28:47.280 --> 00:28:49.920
And you think, like we all have done it.

443
00:28:49.920 --> 00:28:51.320
So when I say you think,

444
00:28:51.320 --> 00:28:53.040
it's because I've lived there too.

445
00:28:53.040 --> 00:28:56.600
We think we know better than God sometimes.

446
00:28:57.880 --> 00:28:59.000
And so we get in there

447
00:28:59.000 --> 00:29:03.200
and we try to make something happen, even with our kids.

448
00:29:03.200 --> 00:29:04.280
I don't know about any of you all,

449
00:29:04.280 --> 00:29:07.320
but man, sometimes it is hard

450
00:29:07.320 --> 00:29:10.400
to really surrender adult children

451
00:29:10.400 --> 00:29:14.120
and trust that when they're not making healthy choices

452
00:29:14.600 --> 00:29:17.360
that God's got this under control.

453
00:29:19.080 --> 00:29:21.240
God loves them more than we do.

454
00:29:22.600 --> 00:29:24.640
God loves you more than you know.

455
00:29:24.640 --> 00:29:26.120
He has a good plan for you.

456
00:29:26.120 --> 00:29:30.640
Be willing to submit to absolute and greater truth

457
00:29:30.640 --> 00:29:32.960
than what has happened in your life in the past,

458
00:29:32.960 --> 00:29:35.320
or even what is happening right now.

459
00:29:35.320 --> 00:29:36.760
You know, some of you are probably walking

460
00:29:36.760 --> 00:29:39.600
through some things that are hard even right now.

461
00:29:39.600 --> 00:29:42.160
And God wants you to know this is not your forever.

462
00:29:43.160 --> 00:29:46.280
God is setting you up for a win.

463
00:29:46.280 --> 00:29:48.120
Jackie talked about that a couple of weeks ago.

464
00:29:48.120 --> 00:29:51.480
What like really envisioning ourselves as winners,

465
00:29:51.480 --> 00:29:54.840
not losers, not, and like, I don't even know how,

466
00:29:54.840 --> 00:29:57.440
it's probably been more than even a month ago now,

467
00:29:57.440 --> 00:29:59.760
but I was talking, you know,

468
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:03.760
One of the things that I think is really important in this submission process is a lot of times

469
00:30:03.760 --> 00:30:08.640
we look at lines like we do today.

470
00:30:08.640 --> 00:30:10.760
It's front to back, right?

471
00:30:10.760 --> 00:30:16.800
And so we also think of God as lining us up and he's handing out blessings in a row.

472
00:30:16.800 --> 00:30:21.720
And if the ladies, if somebody cuts you in line, like, oh my gosh, she got married first

473
00:30:21.720 --> 00:30:26.400
or she had a baby first or she, whatever it is that she got first, we think, well, that

474
00:30:26.400 --> 00:30:33.640
means that now we're, we're delayed in our receiving, but here's the reality.

475
00:30:33.640 --> 00:30:39.440
I truly believe that we're standing side by side.

476
00:30:39.440 --> 00:30:47.320
We're standing side by side and God is handing out the blessings based on our ability to

477
00:30:47.320 --> 00:30:51.480
receive them, our ability to retain them.

478
00:30:51.480 --> 00:30:56.600
Some of us, if God gave us more and more finances right now, it would just be gone.

479
00:30:56.600 --> 00:31:00.740
Some of us, if he gave us a husband right now, we literally would be buried under the

480
00:31:00.740 --> 00:31:03.920
weight of that marriage.

481
00:31:03.920 --> 00:31:09.040
And so I want you to really be open to what is God doing in you to prepare your heart

482
00:31:09.040 --> 00:31:10.260
to receive.

483
00:31:10.260 --> 00:31:16.000
Way back years ago when I was married the first time, I went through ministry school,

484
00:31:16.000 --> 00:31:19.320
totally thought I was ready to literally pastor churches back then.

485
00:31:19.400 --> 00:31:23.520
Y'all, I was like 22 or 23 years old.

486
00:31:23.520 --> 00:31:25.520
I'm 48 now.

487
00:31:25.520 --> 00:31:31.520
And I can tell you, I totally did not know what I was thinking back then.

488
00:31:31.520 --> 00:31:34.520
Praise the Lord that God did not give me a church back then.

489
00:31:34.520 --> 00:31:36.240
I'm not saying I wouldn't have done my best.

490
00:31:36.240 --> 00:31:41.480
I would have, but my marriage was nowhere near ready for something like that.

491
00:31:41.480 --> 00:31:44.580
And I wasn't either.

492
00:31:44.580 --> 00:31:48.400
God loved me so much that he did not give that to me back then.

493
00:31:48.480 --> 00:31:55.240
Even though I thought I was ready to go and evangelize and have a church and yeah, other

494
00:31:55.240 --> 00:31:56.900
people, maybe they were ready.

495
00:31:56.900 --> 00:31:59.080
My husband was called into the ministry.

496
00:31:59.080 --> 00:32:04.680
My husband now, Brian, called into the ministry at 16, he had his first church at 17 years

497
00:32:04.680 --> 00:32:05.680
old.

498
00:32:05.680 --> 00:32:10.520
He started pastoring in the youth group and then they basically were like, you can have

499
00:32:10.520 --> 00:32:11.520
the church.

500
00:32:11.520 --> 00:32:12.720
We need a pastor.

501
00:32:12.720 --> 00:32:15.160
So he started pastoring at 17 years old.

502
00:32:15.160 --> 00:32:16.160
Crazy, right?

503
00:32:16.160 --> 00:32:17.160
Crazy good.

504
00:32:18.160 --> 00:32:23.360
That was not what would have been good for me at 17.

505
00:32:23.360 --> 00:32:26.800
He had the capacity to stand up under the weight of that.

506
00:32:26.800 --> 00:32:32.400
Now we all make mistakes as we go to super important for you to remember that this isn't

507
00:32:32.400 --> 00:32:33.560
about perfection.

508
00:32:33.560 --> 00:32:40.040
This is about us like daily, you know, getting back up on the altar, so to speak, and surrendering

509
00:32:40.040 --> 00:32:43.280
and submitting to the Lord over again.

510
00:32:43.280 --> 00:32:45.400
So who are we submitting to?

511
00:32:45.400 --> 00:32:50.560
We're submitting to God and the key is being rooted and grounded in His love and understanding

512
00:32:50.560 --> 00:32:55.920
His love and out of the overflow of our love with Him and His love for us.

513
00:32:55.920 --> 00:32:59.240
That is what we're choosing to submit through.

514
00:32:59.240 --> 00:33:02.160
So again, this isn't God pulling us and forcing us.

515
00:33:02.160 --> 00:33:04.120
This is more about an invitation.

516
00:33:04.120 --> 00:33:07.560
He's inviting us into submission is not about dominating.

517
00:33:07.560 --> 00:33:12.160
It's not about controlling us, controlling other people, them controlling us.

518
00:33:12.160 --> 00:33:16.840
And I think it's really important for me to kind of reemphasize this isn't about us

519
00:33:16.840 --> 00:33:19.400
controlling people either.

520
00:33:19.400 --> 00:33:21.800
You know, I've been coaching quite a few couples.

521
00:33:21.800 --> 00:33:26.720
We've been coaching Simbas as well here in the community and Simbas is saving your marriage

522
00:33:26.720 --> 00:33:28.360
before it starts.

523
00:33:28.360 --> 00:33:33.320
And I was helping a lady that's in a relationship right now that I think they'll be really great

524
00:33:33.320 --> 00:33:34.320
for each other.

525
00:33:34.320 --> 00:33:37.240
But man, she's really struggling with some control issues.

526
00:33:37.240 --> 00:33:40.120
She's having jealousy towards his mom.

527
00:33:40.120 --> 00:33:44.920
These healing from the wounds with your mother are really important, not just regarding your

528
00:33:44.920 --> 00:33:46.400
own mother.

529
00:33:46.400 --> 00:33:52.280
Okay, because some of you are going to meet a guy and he's going to have a mom.

530
00:33:52.280 --> 00:33:56.600
And for some of the guys, the dad is gone.

531
00:33:56.600 --> 00:34:01.960
And so guess who the mom's super close to her son.

532
00:34:01.960 --> 00:34:06.240
Sometimes those sons have to learn how to set new boundaries and they haven't had to

533
00:34:06.240 --> 00:34:08.679
do that in a long time.

534
00:34:08.679 --> 00:34:13.800
And so sometimes they have to learn just like we have to learn.

535
00:34:13.800 --> 00:34:18.679
But I'm saying this to you because she's really struggling right now.

536
00:34:18.679 --> 00:34:22.600
And part of the reason is she still has a lot of stuff with her mom that hasn't been

537
00:34:22.600 --> 00:34:24.120
healed yet.

538
00:34:24.120 --> 00:34:28.920
And the more she heals from that, the more she's going to be able to submit to the process

539
00:34:28.920 --> 00:34:33.480
and trust what's happening even with his mom.

540
00:34:33.480 --> 00:34:34.480
Okay.

541
00:34:34.480 --> 00:34:35.480
All right.

542
00:34:35.480 --> 00:34:37.600
So submission is mutual.

543
00:34:37.600 --> 00:34:42.560
That means my husband chooses to respect and honor me and submit, and I choose to respect

544
00:34:42.560 --> 00:34:44.040
and honor him and submit.

545
00:34:44.040 --> 00:34:49.840
And hopefully we're learning how the two becoming one to work as a team and submitting in love

546
00:34:49.840 --> 00:34:50.840
to one another.

547
00:34:50.840 --> 00:34:55.800
A couple of scriptures real quick, and then we're going to get ready for breakouts.

548
00:34:55.800 --> 00:34:59.960
Revelation 3.20, Behold, I stand at the door and knock, I was talking about this one earlier.

549
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:04.040
And when he hears my voice and opens the door, I will come into him and eat with him and

550
00:35:04.040 --> 00:35:05.240
he with me.

551
00:35:05.240 --> 00:35:09.120
So in our heart healing process, we really want to encourage you to yield to God.

552
00:35:09.120 --> 00:35:10.880
Remember, He doesn't force His way in.

553
00:35:10.880 --> 00:35:15.760
He's standing at the door of your heart, knocking and asking for permission to enter.

554
00:35:15.760 --> 00:35:19.200
And we do encourage you all, we say this in another session, but I'm going to reiterate

555
00:35:19.200 --> 00:35:23.520
it tonight, to take down any do not enter signs on your heart.

556
00:35:23.520 --> 00:35:27.240
What I mean by that is sometimes you're letting God into certain areas of your heart and then

557
00:35:27.240 --> 00:35:31.240
you're saying, no, I'm, I've got this, I've got this in another area.

558
00:35:31.240 --> 00:35:35.320
And so make sure you're praying into that and just asking God, like, Lord, is there

559
00:35:35.320 --> 00:35:41.320
any area where I just haven't really fully surrendered it to you?

560
00:35:41.320 --> 00:35:46.560
Because deep down in my subconscious somewhere, I still think I know better.

561
00:35:46.560 --> 00:35:53.520
Job 22, 21 in the NLT says this, submit to God and you will have peace.

562
00:35:53.520 --> 00:35:55.680
Then things will go well with you.

563
00:35:56.560 --> 00:36:02.120
I'm going to read that again, submit to God and you will have peace.

564
00:36:02.120 --> 00:36:04.400
Then things will go well with you.

565
00:36:04.400 --> 00:36:08.880
Ladies here, the word peace, when it says, and you will have peace in the Hebrew actually

566
00:36:08.880 --> 00:36:18.600
means to be in a covenant of peace, to complete, to finish, to make whole or good, to restore.

567
00:36:18.600 --> 00:36:22.680
Just that was Job 22 verse 21 in the NLT version.

568
00:36:22.680 --> 00:36:28.760
So what God is saying is when we submit to him, he will literally come into a covenant

569
00:36:28.760 --> 00:36:30.280
of peace with us.

570
00:36:30.280 --> 00:36:36.320
He will literally continue to work in our lives to make us whole, to make us good, to

571
00:36:36.320 --> 00:36:42.520
restore us, to finish things, to complete the work that he started.

572
00:36:42.520 --> 00:36:47.680
Proverbs 3, 5 in the message translation says this, trust God from the bottom of your heart.

573
00:36:47.680 --> 00:36:50.720
Don't try to figure out everything on your own.

574
00:36:50.720 --> 00:36:57.720
Listen for God's voice in everything that you, everywhere that you go.

575
00:36:57.720 --> 00:37:00.520
He's the one who will keep you on track.

576
00:37:00.520 --> 00:37:03.760
Don't assume that you know it all.

577
00:37:03.760 --> 00:37:05.280
I love that scripture.

578
00:37:05.280 --> 00:37:07.400
I loved it before in the NIV.

579
00:37:07.400 --> 00:37:12.520
It's one of my life verses, Proverbs 3, 5 and 6, but in the message translation, I love

580
00:37:12.520 --> 00:37:16.280
that it reminds me to not assume that I know it all.

581
00:37:16.280 --> 00:37:20.880
Most of the time I know a very small sliver, or I think I know a very small sliver, but

582
00:37:20.880 --> 00:37:25.480
so many times God's way is way better than my way.

583
00:37:25.480 --> 00:37:32.640
So your breakout question tonight is this, do you struggle with submission and why?

584
00:37:32.640 --> 00:37:34.320
Do you struggle with submission and why?

585
00:37:34.320 --> 00:37:36.280
For some of you, you're like, no, I really don't.

586
00:37:36.280 --> 00:37:38.800
I actually feel like I have a good understanding of this.

587
00:37:38.800 --> 00:37:40.760
I've had good experiences with this.

588
00:37:40.760 --> 00:37:46.120
If that's you, I want you to share your good experiences with your breakout partners.

589
00:37:46.120 --> 00:37:49.600
So whatever direction you're coming from, it's okay to share from that.

590
00:37:49.600 --> 00:37:53.400
But if you do struggle with submission, I do want you to talk about that tonight and

591
00:37:53.400 --> 00:37:54.400
lean into that.

592
00:37:54.400 --> 00:37:55.400
All right.

593
00:37:55.400 --> 00:38:03.040
Let me get these rooms ready for us.

594
00:38:03.040 --> 00:38:04.040
Totally fine, Roseanne.

595
00:38:04.040 --> 00:38:09.040
All right, ladies, for those of you that are new, when I put this up, you're going to click

596
00:38:09.040 --> 00:38:10.040
to join it.

597
00:38:10.040 --> 00:38:11.040
Oh, shoot.

598
00:38:11.040 --> 00:38:12.040
I lost.

599
00:38:13.040 --> 00:38:17.440
And then if you're in a room where no one's talking, just hang out there.

600
00:38:17.440 --> 00:38:20.400
I will move you around and we'll be good to go.

601
00:38:20.400 --> 00:38:21.400
Okay.

602
00:38:21.400 --> 00:38:22.400
Sorry.

603
00:38:22.400 --> 00:38:23.400
My little box got really big here.

604
00:38:23.400 --> 00:38:24.400
I'm not sure why.

605
00:38:24.400 --> 00:38:25.400
Hold on one sec.

606
00:38:25.400 --> 00:38:26.400
Okay.

607
00:38:26.400 --> 00:38:29.400
I'm going to give you all seven minutes.

608
00:38:29.400 --> 00:38:30.880
We have plenty of time tonight.

609
00:38:30.880 --> 00:38:32.920
So short, brief, and powerful.

610
00:38:32.920 --> 00:38:38.760
Make sure you give everybody enough room to talk and space to talk and let's see, two,

611
00:38:38.760 --> 00:38:39.760
four, six.

612
00:38:39.760 --> 00:38:40.760
Yeah.

613
00:38:40.760 --> 00:38:42.600
I think that gives everybody about two minutes to share.

614
00:38:42.600 --> 00:38:43.800
All right.

615
00:38:43.800 --> 00:38:46.640
And then if you have extra time, you guys can share other things as well.

616
00:38:46.640 --> 00:38:47.640
All right.

617
00:38:47.640 --> 00:38:52.760
Go ahead and click to join those rooms as quick as you can.

618
00:38:52.760 --> 00:39:00.840
All right.

619
00:39:00.840 --> 00:39:04.360
For those in this room, I'm just going to wait or watching the replay to make sure everyone

620
00:39:04.360 --> 00:39:09.440
kind of gets situated with at least two people in every room.

621
00:39:09.440 --> 00:39:10.440
I think I have someone in.

622
00:39:10.440 --> 00:39:19.440
All right, Father, thank you so much for everything that you're doing in our hearts.

623
00:39:19.440 --> 00:39:23.400
God, we thank you for revealings, for healing that are happening.

624
00:39:23.400 --> 00:39:28.920
We thank you for reminding us, God, of all the broken and fallen places in our hearts.

625
00:39:28.920 --> 00:39:34.080
God, we're asking for just a renewal in our spirits, Lord.

626
00:39:34.080 --> 00:39:40.680
We're asking you to help us to recognize all the ways that you are working, that you're

627
00:39:40.680 --> 00:39:43.920
revealing truth to us, Lord, in love.

628
00:39:43.920 --> 00:39:49.160
Lord, help us to forgive ourselves, to forgive other people for ways that they have taught

629
00:39:49.160 --> 00:39:51.480
us unhealthy things about submission.

630
00:39:51.480 --> 00:39:55.520
God, forgive us for the times that we haven't been willing to submit to you.

631
00:39:55.520 --> 00:40:00.040
God, where rebellion has taken over in our hearts, our minds, and our spirits.

632
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:02.160
spirits, where it's led us astray.

633
00:40:02.160 --> 00:40:06.160
God, I thank you for, yeah, just transforming us

634
00:40:06.160 --> 00:40:07.560
by the renewing of our minds,

635
00:40:07.560 --> 00:40:10.640
that all old things are passing away, excuse me,

636
00:40:10.640 --> 00:40:13.120
and everything is becoming new in us.

637
00:40:13.120 --> 00:40:15.120
God, I thank you that you are for us,

638
00:40:15.120 --> 00:40:17.560
so who can be against us?

639
00:40:20.480 --> 00:40:21.960
James 4, 7 says this,

640
00:40:21.960 --> 00:40:24.120
so then surrender to God,

641
00:40:24.120 --> 00:40:26.640
stand up to the devil and resist him,

642
00:40:26.640 --> 00:40:30.720
and he will turn and run away from you.

643
00:40:30.720 --> 00:40:31.600
Lord, I just thank you

644
00:40:31.600 --> 00:40:34.520
that you would help us to resist the devil,

645
00:40:34.520 --> 00:40:36.120
that he would have to flee from us.

646
00:40:36.120 --> 00:40:39.800
I thank you, God, that you are showing us areas

647
00:40:39.800 --> 00:40:42.240
and ways in our own heart that is leading us

648
00:40:42.240 --> 00:40:47.240
to really fall down into the temptation

649
00:40:47.360 --> 00:40:49.240
and not to feel strong at times,

650
00:40:49.240 --> 00:40:50.160
to stand up to the devil.

651
00:40:50.160 --> 00:40:51.680
And I thank you for a new strength

652
00:40:51.680 --> 00:40:53.800
that's gonna rise up in us,

653
00:40:53.800 --> 00:40:56.400
that it's a new day, we're gonna have new strength.

654
00:40:57.160 --> 00:40:58.680
We thank you for a new grace and mercy

655
00:40:58.680 --> 00:41:00.840
that is new every morning as well.

656
00:41:00.840 --> 00:41:03.840
We thank you, God, for all the former things

657
00:41:03.840 --> 00:41:06.040
that have led us to where we are,

658
00:41:07.120 --> 00:41:09.560
even the painful things that at times we've chosen.

659
00:41:09.560 --> 00:41:11.200
Lord, I thank you that you would help us again.

660
00:41:11.200 --> 00:41:13.280
I just keep hearing forgive ourselves.

661
00:41:13.280 --> 00:41:16.320
So if somebody's in this room or watching the replay,

662
00:41:16.320 --> 00:41:19.720
God is just saying it's time to forgive yourself.

663
00:41:19.720 --> 00:41:21.480
It's time to forgive those other people

664
00:41:21.480 --> 00:41:24.360
where you feel like it's their fault

665
00:41:24.360 --> 00:41:26.680
that you were held back in some kind of way.

666
00:41:26.680 --> 00:41:29.640
And God is just saying to release them into his care

667
00:41:29.640 --> 00:41:31.480
and to release yourself as well.

668
00:41:31.480 --> 00:41:33.520
Susanna, I see that you just joined us,

669
00:41:33.520 --> 00:41:34.840
or I'm just trying to find out

670
00:41:34.840 --> 00:41:37.680
if you got kicked out of a breakout room.

671
00:41:37.680 --> 00:41:39.880
Just let me know, you can let me know in the chat.

672
00:41:39.880 --> 00:41:42.580
And if I need to put you in a breakout, I can do that.

673
00:41:44.640 --> 00:41:46.520
All right, I'm gonna keep going until I see

674
00:41:46.520 --> 00:41:49.560
if you are wanting to go into there tonight.

675
00:41:49.560 --> 00:41:51.040
All right, so Lord, we just thank you

676
00:41:51.040 --> 00:41:56.000
for continuing to, yeah, show us all the cracks

677
00:41:56.000 --> 00:41:57.760
and crevices in the areas of our hearts

678
00:41:57.760 --> 00:42:00.760
that are still leading us into unhealthy places

679
00:42:00.760 --> 00:42:03.140
and spaces and relationships with people.

680
00:42:03.140 --> 00:42:06.780
God, I thank you for bringing Jesus

681
00:42:06.780 --> 00:42:07.920
through the power of your blood

682
00:42:07.920 --> 00:42:10.920
and through freedom and healing that you bring.

683
00:42:10.920 --> 00:42:13.260
I thank you for bringing a spirit of reconciliation,

684
00:42:13.260 --> 00:42:15.840
a spirit of healing in our hearts and our souls

685
00:42:15.840 --> 00:42:17.640
and our minds and our bodies.

686
00:42:18.600 --> 00:42:20.760
Yes, Lord, I thank you for healing our bodies

687
00:42:20.760 --> 00:42:22.160
from the trauma of the past.

688
00:42:22.160 --> 00:42:25.080
God, I thank you for just making us completely whole

689
00:42:25.080 --> 00:42:27.080
that we would lack no good thing.

690
00:42:27.080 --> 00:42:29.800
God, I thank you that you are, yeah,

691
00:42:29.800 --> 00:42:31.720
helping us to heal from the inside out.

692
00:42:31.720 --> 00:42:34.440
We're asking for cells to be regenerated,

693
00:42:34.440 --> 00:42:37.680
for new neural pathways to be created in our brains

694
00:42:37.680 --> 00:42:41.160
to help us to believe what you say, Lord,

695
00:42:41.160 --> 00:42:44.200
to think new things, new habits to be formed.

696
00:42:44.480 --> 00:42:47.960
And God, give us the courage and the tenacity

697
00:42:47.960 --> 00:42:51.280
and the perseverance to walk things out

698
00:42:51.280 --> 00:42:54.480
and stay committed to this healing process.

699
00:42:54.480 --> 00:42:57.240
James 1, 16 through 17 says this,

700
00:42:57.240 --> 00:43:00.880
so my friends, don't be fooled by your own desires.

701
00:43:00.880 --> 00:43:05.120
Every gift God freely gives us is good and perfect,

702
00:43:05.120 --> 00:43:07.320
streaming down from the father of lights

703
00:43:07.320 --> 00:43:10.440
who shines from the heavens with no hidden shadow

704
00:43:10.440 --> 00:43:14.560
or darkness and is never subject to change.

705
00:43:14.560 --> 00:43:18.880
God, we thank you that every gift that you give us

706
00:43:18.880 --> 00:43:21.240
is good and perfect and pleasing.

707
00:43:21.240 --> 00:43:23.720
God, I thank you that you'll help us to recognize

708
00:43:23.720 --> 00:43:26.120
all the ways that you've been blessing our lives

709
00:43:26.120 --> 00:43:27.560
for a long time.

710
00:43:27.560 --> 00:43:29.880
Even times when we've been in the midst of pain,

711
00:43:29.880 --> 00:43:32.800
when we couldn't see your blessing, God, I pray

712
00:43:32.800 --> 00:43:34.160
that as you heal us, God,

713
00:43:34.160 --> 00:43:36.600
that you would help us to see the blessings

714
00:43:36.600 --> 00:43:39.000
that were all around us that we couldn't see back then.

715
00:43:39.040 --> 00:43:40.160
God, I thank you.

716
00:43:41.400 --> 00:43:43.520
Yes, Lord, lift veils from our eyes,

717
00:43:43.520 --> 00:43:47.640
just like when Paul and Saul got encountered

718
00:43:47.640 --> 00:43:50.140
on the road to Damascus and he became Paul,

719
00:43:50.140 --> 00:43:53.560
but he had the eyes with the scales for three days.

720
00:43:53.560 --> 00:43:55.920
God, we know sometimes we just have these things

721
00:43:55.920 --> 00:43:58.720
that cause us not to be able to see you fully.

722
00:43:58.720 --> 00:44:00.680
God, I pray that you would help us to encounter you

723
00:44:00.680 --> 00:44:02.040
in a fresh way.

724
00:44:02.040 --> 00:44:04.640
And Lord, to know that you love us,

725
00:44:04.640 --> 00:44:06.560
that you are on our side

726
00:44:06.560 --> 00:44:08.400
and you're working on our behalf right now.

727
00:44:08.400 --> 00:44:10.320
First John 3.20 says this,

728
00:44:11.360 --> 00:44:13.680
whenever our hearts make us feel guilty

729
00:44:13.680 --> 00:44:15.960
and remind us of our failures,

730
00:44:15.960 --> 00:44:18.240
we know that God is much greater

731
00:44:18.240 --> 00:44:21.420
and more merciful than our conscience.

732
00:44:21.420 --> 00:44:25.040
And he knows everything there is to know about us.

733
00:44:26.060 --> 00:44:28.780
I know for some of us, that can be scary to think about,

734
00:44:28.780 --> 00:44:30.440
like God knows everything about us.

735
00:44:30.440 --> 00:44:32.360
It can be scary to think that, you know,

736
00:44:32.360 --> 00:44:35.060
that you'll share a lot of things with your spirit mate,

737
00:44:35.060 --> 00:44:37.560
but God is gonna enable us to see

738
00:44:37.640 --> 00:44:40.200
that he looks at us with love,

739
00:44:40.200 --> 00:44:42.320
even when he knows everything there is to know,

740
00:44:42.320 --> 00:44:45.720
the good, the bad and the ugly and everything in between.

741
00:44:45.720 --> 00:44:49.440
And I just, I'm just sensing God's pleasure

742
00:44:49.440 --> 00:44:50.880
over all of us tonight.

743
00:44:50.880 --> 00:44:54.440
And I just wanna encourage you ladies, you know,

744
00:44:54.440 --> 00:44:58.040
the Bible, a couple of times it talks about, you know,

745
00:44:59.220 --> 00:45:00.520
I think it's in the Psalm.

746
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:03.280
Psalms or Proverbs, I can't remember which one, but where it talks about God,

747
00:45:03.280 --> 00:45:07.080
turn your face towards me and he's like asking for that.

748
00:45:07.080 --> 00:45:10.680
And so sometimes that's why I pray for that, that God, Lord,

749
00:45:10.920 --> 00:45:13.880
Lord, I pray that you would just stand up and turn your face towards us.

750
00:45:13.880 --> 00:45:17.760
I imagine he's sitting on the throne and Jesus is sitting at his right hand

751
00:45:17.760 --> 00:45:21.480
interceding for us even now. And so, Lord, would you,

752
00:45:21.600 --> 00:45:24.440
would you turn your face and your countenance toward us?

753
00:45:24.440 --> 00:45:27.560
Oh, ladies,

754
00:45:27.560 --> 00:45:32.200
so many times we rushed past just really precious moments of just thinking on

755
00:45:32.280 --> 00:45:35.920
things that are that majestic, but that simple at the same time,

756
00:45:36.720 --> 00:45:40.680
thinking about something that is good. Now in the past,

757
00:45:40.680 --> 00:45:43.640
I don't know if I could have understood that the way I understand it now,

758
00:45:43.660 --> 00:45:44.120
but again,

759
00:45:44.120 --> 00:45:48.720
growing in the understanding of God's love for me and my relationship with him,

760
00:45:48.720 --> 00:45:50.520
like he is my daddy,

761
00:45:50.560 --> 00:45:55.120
like Abba father and he was the dad that I never had on earth.

762
00:45:55.160 --> 00:45:59.120
And I know that now. And so it's a genuine love relationship.

763
00:45:59.440 --> 00:46:01.640
And so when I pray things like that,

764
00:46:01.640 --> 00:46:03.960
now it's not scary because it feels good.

765
00:46:03.960 --> 00:46:07.200
I believe that God's eyes towards me are good,

766
00:46:07.200 --> 00:46:11.360
that he's not looking to come down with wrath and just punish me and bring the

767
00:46:11.360 --> 00:46:15.800
hammer down. You know, some of us literally, hi ladies, welcome back.

768
00:46:16.200 --> 00:46:18.160
I'm just going to finish a thought real quick and then we'll,

769
00:46:18.160 --> 00:46:22.240
we'll go to my expert explaining of the activations for this week.

770
00:46:22.600 --> 00:46:26.840
But I was saying this in the afternoon session to welcome back.

771
00:46:26.840 --> 00:46:27.680
Welcome back.

772
00:46:28.600 --> 00:46:33.240
Sometimes we can believe that God is coming with a wrecking ball and just

773
00:46:33.240 --> 00:46:36.280
wrecking our lives. And I'm not saying you all,

774
00:46:36.320 --> 00:46:39.520
we go through a lot of brokenness and there are seasons where it does feel like

775
00:46:39.520 --> 00:46:40.360
that. Right.

776
00:46:41.400 --> 00:46:45.480
But what I want you to understand is that the enemy is the one that comes to

777
00:46:45.480 --> 00:46:46.680
kill, steal and destroy.

778
00:46:49.120 --> 00:46:54.120
But so often we blame God and we view God in these ways that he's just

779
00:46:54.400 --> 00:46:58.240
coming and just ready just to tear our lives up.

780
00:46:59.240 --> 00:47:02.120
And again, if that is what you're thinking or what you have believed,

781
00:47:02.120 --> 00:47:04.680
there's no shame. Okay. God's not upset with you.

782
00:47:05.120 --> 00:47:07.160
He knows why that's something you've believed,

783
00:47:07.760 --> 00:47:12.560
but he wants to remove those lies and those belief systems because it's not true

784
00:47:12.560 --> 00:47:16.240
about him. He brings conviction.

785
00:47:16.680 --> 00:47:21.680
He brings correction. Y'all he's not looking to just wreck your life.

786
00:47:24.280 --> 00:47:28.560
So again, if we believe those things, where did that start for us?

787
00:47:30.880 --> 00:47:33.880
For me back in the day, when I used to believe things like that,

788
00:47:33.920 --> 00:47:37.000
I was in the fourth grade and my mom and brother and sister were hit by a drunk

789
00:47:37.000 --> 00:47:40.160
driver. It was a horrible experience.

790
00:47:41.720 --> 00:47:45.280
I felt like my life was getting wrecked and that was in the middle of everything

791
00:47:45.320 --> 00:47:47.440
else that was going on as a kid.

792
00:47:48.320 --> 00:47:51.920
My dad was a drug addict and alcoholic, lots of stuff.

793
00:47:52.280 --> 00:47:54.240
This is just a couple of things. And some of, you know,

794
00:47:54.240 --> 00:47:55.280
other parts of my story,

795
00:47:55.520 --> 00:47:59.360
sometimes I say things out loud and I'm just like, Oh my gosh, that like,

796
00:47:59.360 --> 00:48:04.080
that's my life. But it, it doesn't feel like that.

797
00:48:04.120 --> 00:48:05.520
I mean, I know it's my life,

798
00:48:05.560 --> 00:48:09.560
but like it doesn't feel that way anymore because I don't feel the pain of those

799
00:48:09.560 --> 00:48:13.880
things, but I understand the gravity of them. Does that make sense?

800
00:48:13.880 --> 00:48:16.120
Everyone? Yeah.

801
00:48:17.120 --> 00:48:19.440
For those of you that have been through a lot of hard things,

802
00:48:19.840 --> 00:48:20.680
one day you are,

803
00:48:20.680 --> 00:48:22.040
you're going to look back and you're going to,

804
00:48:22.080 --> 00:48:25.760
you're going to know that was your life, but you're going to just be like, wow,

805
00:48:25.760 --> 00:48:29.280
like I, I don't feel that pain at all anymore.

806
00:48:29.760 --> 00:48:31.600
And it's going to be a really wonderful day.

807
00:48:32.880 --> 00:48:35.040
Some of you are there right now, praise the Lord.

808
00:48:35.480 --> 00:48:38.920
But some of you are on your way to that. All right. So welcome back.

809
00:48:38.920 --> 00:48:40.360
I just wanted to finish my thought.

810
00:48:41.360 --> 00:48:45.000
I was over here while y'all were written the breakouts praying and talking.

811
00:48:45.560 --> 00:48:48.960
Sometimes I never know what's going to come out. So that's always a free for all.

812
00:48:48.960 --> 00:48:53.360
You guys can always feel, uh, if you want to go back and listen to that. Um,

813
00:48:53.360 --> 00:48:58.520
I put you on the breakouts tonight around eight 40. So about 40 minutes in, um,

814
00:48:58.680 --> 00:49:01.120
I, I am going to open it here to coaching in just a minute.

815
00:49:01.120 --> 00:49:03.040
I'll come to Michelle first. Um,

816
00:49:03.040 --> 00:49:05.440
but I do want to share our activations for this week.

817
00:49:05.840 --> 00:49:10.080
If you all haven't seen it yet, there is in the welcome section. Um,

818
00:49:10.080 --> 00:49:13.960
and also week one called the permission slip. Okay.

819
00:49:14.640 --> 00:49:16.440
The permission slip has a prayer on it.

820
00:49:17.080 --> 00:49:20.760
We encourage you to print that out to pray that out loud.

821
00:49:20.760 --> 00:49:24.560
And then to really like, there's a couple lines on there,

822
00:49:24.560 --> 00:49:28.720
but I even encourage you all to just like, I call it free journaling. Okay.

823
00:49:28.720 --> 00:49:32.480
So free journaling to me means you don't hold anything back.

824
00:49:32.480 --> 00:49:34.280
You don't convince yourself.

825
00:49:34.280 --> 00:49:36.520
You're not allowed to say something that might sound bad.

826
00:49:36.760 --> 00:49:38.840
Like God's not going to be mad. You just need to like,

827
00:49:38.840 --> 00:49:40.120
whatever surrender,

828
00:49:40.160 --> 00:49:43.080
like pray that prayer and whatever comes up in your spirit,

829
00:49:43.080 --> 00:49:46.280
just let yourself let that out. And, um,

830
00:49:46.640 --> 00:49:48.360
and then if there are things that, you know,

831
00:49:48.360 --> 00:49:52.280
kind of are revealed that have some negative tones to them, if you will,

832
00:49:52.680 --> 00:49:54.360
you're probably going to want to process those out.

833
00:49:54.360 --> 00:49:57.120
Cause that might be that revealing for healing that you've been praying for,

834
00:49:57.440 --> 00:49:59.520
but we encourage you all to put these up. Okay.

835
00:49:59.560 --> 00:49:59.800
And.

836
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:07.000
Pray that permission slip prayer daily, especially during this season, and it will help you continue

837
00:50:07.000 --> 00:50:08.000
every day.

838
00:50:08.000 --> 00:50:10.800
I used to pray it in the morning a lot when I would get ready for work.

839
00:50:10.800 --> 00:50:11.800
I hung it in my bathroom.

840
00:50:11.800 --> 00:50:14.760
That was super easy for me.

841
00:50:14.760 --> 00:50:18.800
And I would just pray it because I wanted to align my heart with God's in the morning.

842
00:50:18.800 --> 00:50:22.680
I wanted to align with the thoughts about surrendering and trusting him.

843
00:50:22.680 --> 00:50:24.200
And so I believe that'll be a blessing to you.

844
00:50:24.200 --> 00:50:27.560
The other activation, I'm going to go through this as quick as I can.

845
00:50:27.560 --> 00:50:29.560
We call it Roots vs. Fruits.

846
00:50:29.560 --> 00:50:35.120
Ladies, super important that as you're going through this process, can you all see my screen?

847
00:50:35.120 --> 00:50:36.120
Yeah?

848
00:50:36.120 --> 00:50:37.120
Okay.

849
00:50:37.120 --> 00:50:42.440
That you're praying and asking God to show you the unhealthy roots in your life.

850
00:50:42.440 --> 00:50:45.680
And we also want him to show you the healthy ones, okay?

851
00:50:45.680 --> 00:50:48.720
Unhealthy roots lead to unhealthy fruit.

852
00:50:48.720 --> 00:50:50.840
Healthy roots lead to healthy fruit.

853
00:50:50.840 --> 00:50:54.000
And if you've done this before for ladies that have been in here longer than five weeks,

854
00:50:54.000 --> 00:50:55.520
you don't have to do it again.

855
00:50:55.520 --> 00:51:00.160
This is just for the ladies that have done it or have not done it before.

856
00:51:00.160 --> 00:51:01.640
This is one example.

857
00:51:01.640 --> 00:51:04.200
Sometimes ladies will post them before they're finished.

858
00:51:04.200 --> 00:51:07.080
This one was kind of an in process.

859
00:51:07.080 --> 00:51:11.040
And so she doesn't have a lot of the fruits listed up in the tree yet, but she has a lot

860
00:51:11.040 --> 00:51:15.100
of the roots and she has good things in there, unhealthy things.

861
00:51:15.100 --> 00:51:20.680
She has hiding, poverty mindset, victimhood, cussing.

862
00:51:20.680 --> 00:51:22.920
So the cussing is actually a fruit.

863
00:51:22.920 --> 00:51:26.160
So I want to help you guys kind of tell the difference between those.

864
00:51:26.160 --> 00:51:31.440
So a root is more like the lies that we believe, okay?

865
00:51:31.440 --> 00:51:34.160
And then the fruit is the behavior.

866
00:51:34.160 --> 00:51:37.000
So if that helps you all as you're working on this.

867
00:51:37.000 --> 00:51:45.400
So victimhood is again, kind of more of a fruit, the lies leading to other things.

868
00:51:45.400 --> 00:51:50.800
So you might feel like a root might be rejection, okay?

869
00:51:50.800 --> 00:51:53.160
You believe that you're rejected all the time.

870
00:51:53.160 --> 00:51:58.360
And then what is the action that you're doing because you believe you're rejected?

871
00:51:58.360 --> 00:52:00.880
Is that helpful for everyone?

872
00:52:00.880 --> 00:52:02.960
If I use that as an example.

873
00:52:02.960 --> 00:52:08.440
So are you hiding and isolating because you're fearing rejection?

874
00:52:08.440 --> 00:52:10.760
Are you sabotaging relationships?

875
00:52:10.760 --> 00:52:12.480
Those are unhealthy fruit.

876
00:52:12.480 --> 00:52:17.840
Those are unhealthy activities and patterns and behaviors that are a result of the root

877
00:52:17.840 --> 00:52:18.840
of rejection.

878
00:52:18.840 --> 00:52:19.840
Make sense, everyone?

879
00:52:19.880 --> 00:52:20.880
All right.

880
00:52:20.880 --> 00:52:21.880
I'm going to show you some more.

881
00:52:21.880 --> 00:52:24.880
This one's a little harder to see because of the colors, even though it's really pretty.

882
00:52:24.880 --> 00:52:25.880
Hold on one second.

883
00:52:25.880 --> 00:52:27.880
I got to move this so I can see.

884
00:52:27.880 --> 00:52:28.880
Goodness gracious.

885
00:52:28.880 --> 00:52:33.400
I was trying to zoom in a little bit so y'all can see this.

886
00:52:33.400 --> 00:52:34.400
All right.

887
00:52:34.400 --> 00:52:35.400
So you'll see here.

888
00:52:35.400 --> 00:52:36.960
I'm sorry, that was bouncing around.

889
00:52:36.960 --> 00:52:39.160
She lists fear of rejection.

890
00:52:39.160 --> 00:52:42.880
And then some of the lies she's believing or what she used to believe.

891
00:52:42.880 --> 00:52:44.840
You are inconvenient.

892
00:52:44.840 --> 00:52:45.840
Hide behind the scenes.

893
00:52:45.840 --> 00:52:46.840
You're left over.

894
00:52:46.840 --> 00:52:47.840
You're extra.

895
00:52:47.840 --> 00:52:48.840
You're shy.

896
00:52:48.840 --> 00:52:49.840
You're quirky.

897
00:52:49.840 --> 00:52:50.840
To be accepted.

898
00:52:50.840 --> 00:52:51.840
There's more there.

899
00:52:51.840 --> 00:52:55.960
But I just wanted to show you guys kind of how we want you to really pray into how the

900
00:52:55.960 --> 00:53:01.600
lies connect to the root and then the root connects up to the fruit.

901
00:53:01.600 --> 00:53:03.680
The fruit's going to be on the top of your tree.

902
00:53:03.680 --> 00:53:04.680
All right.

903
00:53:04.680 --> 00:53:06.800
Let me scroll back here.

904
00:53:06.800 --> 00:53:08.200
Here's one that a teacher did.

905
00:53:08.200 --> 00:53:09.880
Can y'all tell it's a teacher?

906
00:53:09.880 --> 00:53:10.880
It's very teacher-ish.

907
00:53:10.880 --> 00:53:11.880
I love it.

908
00:53:11.880 --> 00:53:12.880
It looks great.

909
00:53:12.880 --> 00:53:14.800
Ladies, you can do this super simple.

910
00:53:14.800 --> 00:53:16.840
You can do it more like this.

911
00:53:16.840 --> 00:53:18.500
You can do it however you want.

912
00:53:19.160 --> 00:53:20.160
This is your thing.

913
00:53:20.160 --> 00:53:21.160
Okay.

914
00:53:21.160 --> 00:53:24.860
There's no right or wrong here other than we're going to try to really make sure you

915
00:53:24.860 --> 00:53:29.100
start to learn that process of, okay, what's the lie?

916
00:53:29.100 --> 00:53:30.320
What's the root?

917
00:53:30.320 --> 00:53:31.320
What's the fruit?

918
00:53:31.320 --> 00:53:33.300
Remember the revealing for healing cycle?

919
00:53:33.300 --> 00:53:37.980
The reason we do these lessons in this order is so that you already start to discover some

920
00:53:37.980 --> 00:53:40.660
of those things in that revealing for healing cycle.

921
00:53:40.660 --> 00:53:45.620
Ladies, if this is your first session with us, you can go back if you want and listen

922
00:53:45.740 --> 00:53:50.540
to the last couple of replays and we kind of break that down a little bit more.

923
00:53:50.540 --> 00:53:51.540
Here's another one.

924
00:53:51.540 --> 00:53:52.540
This one's super simple.

925
00:53:52.540 --> 00:53:53.540
Oops, sorry.

926
00:53:53.540 --> 00:53:54.540
And I love it.

927
00:53:54.540 --> 00:53:55.540
It looks great.

928
00:53:55.540 --> 00:53:58.220
Again, you all can do it however you want.

929
00:53:58.220 --> 00:54:04.300
Her healthy fruit that's coming from a healthy root, those are the ones with the green and

930
00:54:04.300 --> 00:54:05.340
pink on the leaves.

931
00:54:05.340 --> 00:54:06.540
You'll see there.

932
00:54:06.540 --> 00:54:09.220
And then the other ones that don't have nothing on them.

933
00:54:09.220 --> 00:54:13.860
So for example, fear of man, and then she leads to some unhealthy fruit.

934
00:54:13.860 --> 00:54:21.460
Stuck, smaller world, she has unhealthy efficiency that leads to her being distracted a lot.

935
00:54:21.460 --> 00:54:24.900
So ladies, kind of just again, you're praying through this, doing the best that you can.

936
00:54:24.900 --> 00:54:26.900
This isn't about being perfect.

937
00:54:26.900 --> 00:54:28.660
Here's one done on a computer.

938
00:54:28.660 --> 00:54:29.660
Totally fine.

939
00:54:29.660 --> 00:54:32.680
I'm going to kind of go through this a little quicker, just give you guys some examples.

940
00:54:32.680 --> 00:54:34.540
Here's another one.

941
00:54:34.540 --> 00:54:39.060
I'm trying to show you that a lot of different people do it a lot of different ways.

942
00:54:39.060 --> 00:54:40.620
This lady's an artist.

943
00:54:40.620 --> 00:54:42.700
If you're an artist, go for it.

944
00:54:42.700 --> 00:54:48.700
If you want to, ladies, I love showing this one though, not just because it's beautiful,

945
00:54:48.700 --> 00:54:55.380
but I love the way that she depicted her unhealthy area with the healthy, with the Holy Spirit

946
00:54:55.380 --> 00:54:57.580
kind of coming into play there.

947
00:54:57.580 --> 00:54:59.980
So her unhealthy roots and fruit are the ones that's

948
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:02.760
kind of darker, they look a little more dead,

949
00:55:02.760 --> 00:55:04.960
and then you see the ones that the, you know,

950
00:55:04.960 --> 00:55:07.000
the fruit looks bigger and it's alive

951
00:55:07.000 --> 00:55:09.280
and it's like that bright yellow-orange,

952
00:55:09.280 --> 00:55:10.880
and then the Holy Spirit's blue.

953
00:55:10.880 --> 00:55:13.360
I really am a firm believer in following

954
00:55:13.360 --> 00:55:15.520
what colors you feel led to go with

955
00:55:15.520 --> 00:55:17.560
in the activations that we do,

956
00:55:17.560 --> 00:55:20.120
because I think it says a lot about

957
00:55:20.120 --> 00:55:21.920
kind of what you're viewing about

958
00:55:21.920 --> 00:55:24.200
what is happening in your own heart and healing process.

959
00:55:24.200 --> 00:55:26.000
So go with the flow, ladies.

960
00:55:26.000 --> 00:55:28.780
I really cannot emphasize enough

961
00:55:28.780 --> 00:55:32.460
to pray and follow the Holy Spirit for yourself.

962
00:55:32.460 --> 00:55:34.900
Don't compare yourself to other people.

963
00:55:34.900 --> 00:55:37.780
Be you, because you are awesome.

964
00:55:38.820 --> 00:55:41.460
Seriously, just be you,

965
00:55:41.460 --> 00:55:43.500
and allow God to work in your heart and life.

966
00:55:43.500 --> 00:55:45.820
Okay, everyone good?

967
00:55:46.940 --> 00:55:50.060
What is our definition of activation?

968
00:55:50.060 --> 00:55:52.700
Well, I don't know if I say it the same way Jackie does,

969
00:55:52.700 --> 00:55:55.140
but faith with works, you know,

970
00:55:55.140 --> 00:55:57.540
kind of combined faith without works is dead,

971
00:55:57.580 --> 00:56:01.580
and so we're trying to quickly activate the truth,

972
00:56:01.580 --> 00:56:03.580
which means take action.

973
00:56:03.580 --> 00:56:05.840
We're trying to take action on something.

974
00:56:05.840 --> 00:56:08.180
So the more that we're praying into

975
00:56:08.180 --> 00:56:10.140
what are the revelations of the lies,

976
00:56:10.140 --> 00:56:12.540
the roots, the fruit that God is showing us,

977
00:56:12.540 --> 00:56:14.820
when you're drawing that on the paper,

978
00:56:14.820 --> 00:56:17.000
some of y'all are gonna experience some stuff.

979
00:56:17.000 --> 00:56:18.500
Some of you will cry.

980
00:56:18.500 --> 00:56:20.120
Some of you will feel numb.

981
00:56:20.120 --> 00:56:22.980
Some of you will feel happy and freedom.

982
00:56:22.980 --> 00:56:25.180
I mean, all different kinds of things.

983
00:56:25.660 --> 00:56:27.580
Some of you might not feel anything at all,

984
00:56:27.580 --> 00:56:28.940
and that's where the numbness,

985
00:56:28.940 --> 00:56:31.780
you might start to recognize that.

986
00:56:31.780 --> 00:56:34.420
So pay attention to what you're feeling and experiencing

987
00:56:34.420 --> 00:56:35.580
as you do these activations.

988
00:56:35.580 --> 00:56:40.580
Some of you might feel resistant and not even wanna do it.

989
00:56:41.700 --> 00:56:43.700
If that's the case, pay attention to that too,

990
00:56:43.700 --> 00:56:46.660
because that's happening for a reason.

991
00:56:46.660 --> 00:56:47.780
So don't shy away.

992
00:56:47.780 --> 00:56:49.100
Don't pull away from the group.

993
00:56:49.100 --> 00:56:50.980
Come into the group and talk to us about it,

994
00:56:50.980 --> 00:56:52.860
and let us coach you through it.

995
00:56:53.740 --> 00:56:57.420
Is the root, the lie, and fruit the result of the lie?

996
00:56:57.420 --> 00:57:01.300
So the lie feeds into the root, all right?

997
00:57:01.300 --> 00:57:04.340
So like that example of the fruit of, excuse me,

998
00:57:04.340 --> 00:57:06.080
the root of rejection,

999
00:57:07.100 --> 00:57:09.640
there's lies that we believe that feed

1000
00:57:09.640 --> 00:57:13.700
that root of rejection or that root of abandonment.

1001
00:57:13.700 --> 00:57:17.120
And then a lot of us will do things,

1002
00:57:17.120 --> 00:57:19.740
we will behave in certain ways

1003
00:57:19.740 --> 00:57:22.760
because of that root of rejection,

1004
00:57:23.540 --> 00:57:24.800
and the lies that are feeding it.

1005
00:57:24.800 --> 00:57:28.480
So example that I gave a little while ago

1006
00:57:28.480 --> 00:57:30.920
is some of us sabotage relationships.

1007
00:57:30.920 --> 00:57:34.360
Some of us don't show up fully in relationships.

1008
00:57:34.360 --> 00:57:36.920
Some of us withdraw, we isolate.

1009
00:57:36.920 --> 00:57:40.040
Those are fruit, okay?

1010
00:57:40.040 --> 00:57:42.480
And if you need an example of fruits as well

1011
00:57:42.480 --> 00:57:43.640
that are on the good side,

1012
00:57:43.640 --> 00:57:45.700
remember the fruits of the spirit.

1013
00:57:45.700 --> 00:57:47.880
Hopefully some of you guys might have some of those

1014
00:57:47.880 --> 00:57:50.440
in your life, and you can like be aware

1015
00:57:50.440 --> 00:57:52.000
of how those are showing up.

1016
00:57:52.360 --> 00:57:54.200
Love, joy, kindness, peace, goodness,

1017
00:57:54.200 --> 00:57:57.120
faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.

1018
00:57:57.120 --> 00:57:59.720
There's more good fruit than that,

1019
00:57:59.720 --> 00:58:01.400
but those are the fruits of the spirit.

1020
00:58:01.400 --> 00:58:06.020
So hopefully some of you will see some of that in your life.

1021
00:58:06.020 --> 00:58:08.880
If not yet, you will by the time you're done

1022
00:58:08.880 --> 00:58:10.720
with this course, I really believe that.

1023
00:58:10.720 --> 00:58:13.080
All right, let me come to our group coaching.

1024
00:58:13.080 --> 00:58:15.000
Michelle, I would love to hear what you have to say.

1025
00:58:15.000 --> 00:58:18.800
If you're new tonight, what we do is we ask you to share

1026
00:58:18.800 --> 00:58:20.400
what you shared in your private breakout.

1027
00:58:20.400 --> 00:58:21.880
And then if I feel led,

1028
00:58:21.880 --> 00:58:24.160
if there's anything we really need to coach on

1029
00:58:24.160 --> 00:58:27.800
or that we can help you guys get a little more breakthrough,

1030
00:58:27.800 --> 00:58:29.760
we lean into that if you're willing.

1031
00:58:29.760 --> 00:58:34.000
And then that's kind of how we run this next half an hour.

1032
00:58:34.000 --> 00:58:35.920
All right, Michelle, all yours.

1033
00:58:35.920 --> 00:58:37.280
Thank you so much, Bethany.

1034
00:58:37.280 --> 00:58:38.680
You're welcome.

1035
00:58:38.680 --> 00:58:41.940
So I shared a little bit that I get confused

1036
00:58:41.940 --> 00:58:44.060
with submission where,

1037
00:58:44.060 --> 00:58:46.440
and I know you already started talking about this tonight,

1038
00:58:46.440 --> 00:58:48.040
so thank you for going a little deeper,

1039
00:58:48.040 --> 00:58:51.840
where biblically it would seem that the Bible reads

1040
00:58:51.840 --> 00:58:54.280
that women should submit to the man.

1041
00:58:55.500 --> 00:59:00.400
And I was in conversation with a male about this topic.

1042
00:59:00.400 --> 00:59:04.080
And he really, in his Christian belief,

1043
00:59:04.080 --> 00:59:08.960
felt that he wasn't saying it in a mean way,

1044
00:59:08.960 --> 00:59:12.980
but that the woman really should submit to the man

1045
00:59:12.980 --> 00:59:16.440
because the man is connected to God and his heart

1046
00:59:17.040 --> 00:59:19.080
and the woman who's also Christian

1047
00:59:19.080 --> 00:59:22.600
would submit to what the man leads.

1048
00:59:22.600 --> 00:59:27.600
And my response was that I will submit to the Lord.

1049
00:59:28.680 --> 00:59:30.960
And if in my submission to the Lord,

1050
00:59:30.960 --> 00:59:34.800
it's in agreement with what the man is telling me to do,

1051
00:59:34.800 --> 00:59:35.620
I will do it.

1052
00:59:35.620 --> 00:59:39.380
And if it's not, we're gonna have to talk about it.

1053
00:59:39.380 --> 00:59:42.000
So I would love you to comment on this

1054
00:59:42.000 --> 00:59:43.640
and go a little deeper on this.

1055
00:59:44.640 --> 00:59:48.240
Yes, this is such a good question, Michelle.

1056
00:59:48.240 --> 00:59:50.980
So interestingly enough,

1057
00:59:50.980 --> 00:59:54.720
that is something that my ex-husband used to say a lot.

1058
00:59:54.720 --> 00:59:56.880
And what was interesting is that

1059
00:59:56.880 --> 00:59:59.600
he was doing really unhealthy things.

1060
00:59:59.600 --> 01:00:00.440
And then I...

1061
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:06.640
supposed to just submit to it. And, you know, I'm not faulting the people back then. Again, I don't,

1062
01:00:06.640 --> 01:00:11.520
I think they were doing the best they could, but I had, you know, a lot of teaching around being a,

1063
01:00:11.520 --> 01:00:16.720
you know, submissive wife and, you know, just trust God with your husband. Well, yeah.

1064
01:00:17.280 --> 01:00:24.000
Okay. But when they're leading you down really dangerous roads, including sometimes literally

1065
01:00:24.000 --> 01:00:28.240
physically driving really fast down a road and it's endangering you physically.

1066
01:00:29.200 --> 01:00:36.240
Well, is that something I need to submit to? I don't know about that, you know? And so some of

1067
01:00:36.240 --> 01:00:42.000
this is because I've learned a lot from going through all of that abusive stuff. And I just

1068
01:00:42.000 --> 01:00:48.240
knew that when I met someone after I went through my healing process, that it would have to be

1069
01:00:48.240 --> 01:00:56.480
someone that really understood God's heart about submission. And I will say this, if Brian and I

1070
01:00:56.480 --> 01:01:03.040
are in a stalemate, okay, like we both just like, we both think we're right. Okay. Let me just say

1071
01:01:03.040 --> 01:01:15.440
it that way. I do believe 100% that man is my covering. My husband is my covering. I can trust

1072
01:01:15.440 --> 01:01:25.120
Brian. He's a trustworthy man. And that's a lot different than what I was in before. And so even

1073
01:01:25.120 --> 01:01:35.520
if I might not fully see what he sees, I do believe that I can trust God ultimately because

1074
01:01:35.520 --> 01:01:42.800
God is the one that keeps my life, even though Brian is my covering. Now, Brian and I both,

1075
01:01:42.800 --> 01:01:49.200
and this is what was really great when I was dating Brian. I talked about this this afternoon

1076
01:01:49.200 --> 01:01:54.480
because someone asked about this as well. But we, I literally was like, we have to talk about

1077
01:01:54.480 --> 01:02:00.000
something before I move further into relationship. I need to know what you believe about submission.

1078
01:02:00.800 --> 01:02:06.720
And, and I didn't say it like kind of, I need to know what, but I just, I was honest about it and

1079
01:02:06.720 --> 01:02:12.000
just said, Hey, you know, I've been through some really tough situations in the past and people

1080
01:02:12.000 --> 01:02:19.760
lorded submission over me and even in jobs and stuff. And I just said, I've learned a lot about

1081
01:02:19.760 --> 01:02:26.480
that. And I feel like whoever I'm going to be with that, that's not how it's going to be.

1082
01:02:27.360 --> 01:02:34.640
And I just need to know, what do you believe? And, and I'm not even saying that all men that believe

1083
01:02:35.760 --> 01:02:41.600
that women should submit to the man that they have intentions in their heart that are wrong.

1084
01:02:43.840 --> 01:02:48.480
I think that that's the kind of the key is what is the intention in the heart of the man?

1085
01:02:49.120 --> 01:02:54.640
Is it to Lord over, or do they actually really believe it as a protection?

1086
01:02:56.160 --> 01:03:02.720
And time would tell that right behavior, people can't fake behavior for a long time,

1087
01:03:02.720 --> 01:03:09.120
even love bombers, they can't keep it up forever. Some people, man, they will, but just for most

1088
01:03:09.120 --> 01:03:18.240
people, they cannot keep if, if the true person on the inside isn't healthy, they cannot keep

1089
01:03:18.240 --> 01:03:24.000
that under wraps for a long time. They can't fake it forever. And so that will eventually just

1090
01:03:24.000 --> 01:03:28.480
like any of us, when we get squeezed by something in life, don't we really find out what's in our

1091
01:03:28.480 --> 01:03:33.200
hearts? We do, don't we? Yeah. Well, we're going to find out what's in other people's hearts when

1092
01:03:33.200 --> 01:03:37.280
something happens and things aren't just, you know, even in dating, sometimes there's a bump

1093
01:03:37.280 --> 01:03:42.640
that happens and you have to learn how to navigate that. But Michelle, I think it's a great question.

1094
01:03:42.640 --> 01:03:48.560
I encourage you to keep asking it. Keep asking the Lord, what does it look like for you? Because

1095
01:03:48.560 --> 01:03:53.040
everybody's different too. So one of the other things I think I need to bring to the forefront

1096
01:03:53.040 --> 01:03:59.840
for some context as well is, and I don't think one is better than the other. When I say this,

1097
01:03:59.840 --> 01:04:05.360
but some women, they really want a man to work and they want to stay home with the kids.

1098
01:04:06.320 --> 01:04:16.240
I have never been built like that. I like to work. I feel called to what I'm doing. Now,

1099
01:04:17.680 --> 01:04:22.480
I need to make more space, even in this season, as we're approaching potential fostering,

1100
01:04:22.480 --> 01:04:28.400
I need to make more space for that, right? And make that a priority again. We have adult children.

1101
01:04:28.400 --> 01:04:34.560
So I haven't had kids in my house for a while, but I don't like, even people have kind of put

1102
01:04:34.880 --> 01:04:40.400
it on me that I'm just going to need to quit my job. And I'm like, you need to stop doing that

1103
01:04:40.400 --> 01:04:46.000
because if God calls me to that, then I'll do that. But if he doesn't call me to that,

1104
01:04:46.560 --> 01:04:54.640
like it's not, that's a yoke being put on me. But another woman might feel fully called to that.

1105
01:04:55.600 --> 01:04:59.760
Does that make sense? Totally. And I'm not saying that.

1106
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:06.320
I don't need to learn how to rest more either, because I do. Okay. And so the reason I'm

1107
01:05:06.320 --> 01:05:11.360
bringing all these things out as I'm talking about what your question was, is because sometimes,

1108
01:05:12.080 --> 01:05:16.480
I think that's part of the thing too, is, is, as we get to know people,

1109
01:05:18.720 --> 01:05:25.680
our spiritual DNA is gonna, it's gonna really match in a lot of different ways. And I would

1110
01:05:25.680 --> 01:05:32.160
consider this conversation regarding submission being a spiritual DNA conversation, where the

1111
01:05:32.160 --> 01:05:37.920
people that are coming together, I think it's important for them to be in agreement about what

1112
01:05:37.920 --> 01:05:44.480
this looks like. And it doesn't mean we won't learn as we go, because I definitely am learning

1113
01:05:44.480 --> 01:05:50.960
how to have mutual submission and respect. Even in running the church with Brian, you know, I'm a

1114
01:05:50.960 --> 01:05:56.320
very administrative minded, I know how to run things, God just really helps me with that.

1115
01:05:56.320 --> 01:06:03.520
Brian's very visionary, which is amazing. And sometimes like he's ready to run with his idea.

1116
01:06:03.520 --> 01:06:09.440
And I'm like, No, no, no, not because I don't love him, or I don't want him to achieve that. But

1117
01:06:09.440 --> 01:06:16.000
sometimes I'm like, Oh, I'm thinking of all the things we got to do to get there. Somebody,

1118
01:06:16.000 --> 01:06:22.960
a man that was really insecure, might be with me and think all I'm trying to do is hold them

1119
01:06:22.960 --> 01:06:30.880
back in life. Does that make sense? But see, Brian, and I both we know, we know each other's

1120
01:06:30.880 --> 01:06:34.880
strengths. And we're learning how not saying we always do it perfectly. We're learning how to

1121
01:06:34.880 --> 01:06:40.160
submit to each other and those things. I'm a visionary too. But because I'm, I'm married to

1122
01:06:40.160 --> 01:06:45.920
supervisionary, and Jackie's a supervisionary, my visionary has to take the backseat a lot of

1123
01:06:45.920 --> 01:06:51.840
times. Does that make sense? Yeah, creating the balance. Yeah. So hopefully this is all helpful.

1124
01:06:52.640 --> 01:06:58.320
As I'm talking about submission, a follow up question on Yes. So I'm sure the situation

1125
01:06:58.320 --> 01:07:06.160
has happened to you before. So I'd love to hear how you have handled it. So let's say you're in

1126
01:07:06.160 --> 01:07:14.720
a stalemate. As the using your word with Brian, yeah, on a topic, and you said you would at that

1127
01:07:14.720 --> 01:07:20.080
point, you would, you know, possibly yield. Because he's the covering and you're trusting

1128
01:07:20.080 --> 01:07:28.080
God to make it all good. But let's say, okay, you're in this stalemate. And he said, you know,

1129
01:07:28.080 --> 01:07:34.160
you yield and he says, Okay, this is what we're going to do. And you hear in your inner man. No.

1130
01:07:34.800 --> 01:07:42.160
Yeah. How do you handle that? Yeah, through diploma? No, it's got to be a very diplomatic.

1131
01:07:43.440 --> 01:07:52.080
Yeah, I would genuinely lovingly say, I respect you and what you're like in what you're saying.

1132
01:07:52.080 --> 01:07:58.000
But I do need you to know that as I've kept praying about this. I've heard no a couple times.

1133
01:07:58.560 --> 01:08:04.240
But I love you. And I'm going to choose to trust you if this is really the direction you feel like

1134
01:08:04.240 --> 01:08:13.600
we're supposed to go in. Wow. Wow. There is a level of sometimes, you know, again, like we see

1135
01:08:13.600 --> 01:08:19.040
the forest for the trees, I see a different perspective than Brian does sometimes. Okay. And

1136
01:08:19.040 --> 01:08:25.600
he sees a different perspective than I do. Sometimes. He's very good at like, and when I

1137
01:08:26.479 --> 01:08:32.720
say this, not in a unhealthy, like being diplomatic in a way that he knows how to help people

1138
01:08:33.760 --> 01:08:41.520
kind of move along. And, you know, come to decisions and kind of, and I'm more like,

1139
01:08:41.520 --> 01:08:48.479
I want I want, you know, stuff dealt with right now. Like, you know, conflict, whatever it is,

1140
01:08:48.479 --> 01:08:54.080
that prophetic side of me, I get frustrated internally when people are not moving quick

1141
01:08:54.080 --> 01:08:59.200
enough, or, you know, or they're getting upset about stuff that at the end of the day, we're,

1142
01:08:59.200 --> 01:09:06.160
we're here for souls. And we're dealing about, you know, whatever, churchy stuff, you know,

1143
01:09:06.160 --> 01:09:15.920
and so for me, that's that is, again, you all need to pray for yourself. But that is how I

1144
01:09:15.920 --> 01:09:23.840
tend to navigate it. I'm not always saying I do it. Well, either, Michelle, because I am,

1145
01:09:23.840 --> 01:09:31.040
I'm very confident in what I hear from the Lord. And he's very confident in what he hears from the

1146
01:09:31.040 --> 01:09:39.439
Lord, too. But we've just learned how to even through like, recently, I'll give you guys a

1147
01:09:39.439 --> 01:09:44.160
very quick synopsis. And I won't tell you the actual situation. But we just went through a

1148
01:09:44.160 --> 01:09:53.439
dynamic where, interestingly enough, about a year ago, we were praying about hiring someone.

1149
01:09:54.160 --> 01:09:59.840
And we were interviewing, interviewing multiple people. And Brian and I both

1150
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:07.000
Actually, when this one person came in person, we both felt a no in our spirit.

1151
01:10:09.000 --> 01:10:17.000
But, you know, the more we're talking about it, his boss wanted him to hire that person.

1152
01:10:17.000 --> 01:10:20.000
But we both felt no in our spirit.

1153
01:10:20.000 --> 01:10:24.000
So, this is another great example. What do you do?

1154
01:10:24.000 --> 01:10:33.000
When you're sensing, like, he seems really good, they're really nice, but something, I'm hearing no in my spirit.

1155
01:10:33.000 --> 01:10:37.000
And we literally, my husband and I, talked about it.

1156
01:10:37.000 --> 01:10:40.000
Well, you all, we hired the guy.

1157
01:10:40.000 --> 01:10:46.000
And we hired someone else, too. We hired two people at the same time.

1158
01:10:46.000 --> 01:10:48.000
We thought it was going okay.

1159
01:10:49.000 --> 01:10:55.000
About six months in, I started noticing something with this person.

1160
01:10:55.000 --> 01:10:59.000
And I kept saying, something's up with him. Something's up with him.

1161
01:10:59.000 --> 01:11:01.000
And, you all, he ended up resigning.

1162
01:11:01.000 --> 01:11:07.000
And not only did he resign, but there were a lot of other things he and his wife did that did not go well.

1163
01:11:07.000 --> 01:11:10.000
It was really bad for, like, a month.

1164
01:11:10.000 --> 01:11:12.000
So, why am I saying that to you?

1165
01:11:12.000 --> 01:11:16.000
Am I mad at his boss? No, I'm not.

1166
01:11:16.000 --> 01:11:19.000
I think his boss actually thought that person would be really good.

1167
01:11:19.000 --> 01:11:22.000
And he had a lot of good qualities.

1168
01:11:22.000 --> 01:11:27.000
But my husband and I absolutely learned something through that.

1169
01:11:27.000 --> 01:11:32.000
We learned that we can trust each other because we both heard no.

1170
01:11:32.000 --> 01:11:34.000
And we were right.

1171
01:11:34.000 --> 01:11:39.000
Now, one of the other things I'm going to leave you guys with, I want you to be thinking about it.

1172
01:11:39.000 --> 01:11:44.000
Is it more important to be right or in relationship?

1173
01:11:45.000 --> 01:11:50.000
Yeah.

1174
01:11:50.000 --> 01:11:58.000
And so, even, and again, sometimes we're all doing our best.

1175
01:11:58.000 --> 01:12:00.000
We all make mistakes.

1176
01:12:00.000 --> 01:12:08.000
And so for us to think we can't make a mistake and that we just know the right way when our husband actually might know the right way.

1177
01:12:08.000 --> 01:12:13.000
That's where the mutual submission comes into play, right?

1178
01:12:13.000 --> 01:12:19.000
When we learn that, you know what, we're not always right either.

1179
01:12:19.000 --> 01:12:23.000
Even when I know I hear from the Lord on things.

1180
01:12:23.000 --> 01:12:28.000
There's still times where that counterfeit identity tries to sneak its way back in there.

1181
01:12:28.000 --> 01:12:32.000
And the enemy tries to get me all suspicious about people.

1182
01:12:32.000 --> 01:12:36.000
And my husband would be like, I don't see that at all.

1183
01:12:36.000 --> 01:12:39.000
You know, again, I don't want to talk this too much.

1184
01:12:39.000 --> 01:12:45.000
I think there's a lot in what I've shared already, ladies, that you guys can really spend some time with the Lord.

1185
01:12:45.000 --> 01:12:50.000
That whole, you know, right or in relationship is really important.

1186
01:12:50.000 --> 01:12:58.000
You know, and really learning how to be with healthy people and navigate submitting to one another.

1187
01:12:58.000 --> 01:13:02.000
Now, if someone's super unhealthy, again, I want to emphasize this.

1188
01:13:02.000 --> 01:13:07.000
I'm not saying we just literally like abort the relationship.

1189
01:13:07.000 --> 01:13:13.000
But I am saying that we need to learn how to navigate that in healthy ways.

1190
01:13:13.000 --> 01:13:21.000
So, for example, if any of you end up being in a situation like that, getting a counselor, getting a support system,

1191
01:13:21.000 --> 01:13:25.000
really learning how to navigate it in healthy ways would be super important.

1192
01:13:25.000 --> 01:13:28.000
Hopefully you all never choose somebody like that ever again.

1193
01:13:28.000 --> 01:13:30.000
But I'm just saying if that does happen.

1194
01:13:30.000 --> 01:13:33.000
All right. Awesome. Michelle, great question.

1195
01:13:33.000 --> 01:13:35.000
And great follow up question as well.

1196
01:13:35.000 --> 01:13:37.000
Reena, go ahead.

1197
01:13:37.000 --> 01:13:40.000
You just hit me.

1198
01:13:40.000 --> 01:13:46.000
I mean, so to follow right into that, is it more important to be right or in relationship?

1199
01:13:46.000 --> 01:13:53.000
I have been feeling like a five-year-old child who just wants to get her way with God.

1200
01:13:53.000 --> 01:14:01.000
And I'm like, I have to remind myself, like, pretty much by the minute, like, no, you just said you were submitting.

1201
01:14:02.000 --> 01:14:07.000
But then it just takes hold again, that rumination and just, like, wanting what I want.

1202
01:14:07.000 --> 01:14:12.000
And, like, forgetting that, like, God surprises.

1203
01:14:12.000 --> 01:14:17.000
And what he always ends up revealing is, like, 10 million times better.

1204
01:14:17.000 --> 01:14:21.000
But I'm still just so stuck in the, like, wanting to be right or something.

1205
01:14:21.000 --> 01:14:24.000
Like, it's really difficult.

1206
01:14:24.000 --> 01:14:28.000
And it's leaving me stuck.

1207
01:14:28.000 --> 01:14:30.000
So I guess I'm just going to leave you at that.

1208
01:14:30.000 --> 01:14:33.000
Like, unstick this. I don't know how.

1209
01:14:33.000 --> 01:14:38.000
Well, OK, let's start with the five-year-old girl because that was very specific.

1210
01:14:38.000 --> 01:14:43.000
So ladies, if we so I relate very much to you.

1211
01:14:43.000 --> 01:14:57.000
And when I was going through the heart healing process and even before that, I literally there were times that I remember saying, God, I know at that time, you know, I was a little younger back 40 years ago, you know, low 40s.

1212
01:14:57.000 --> 01:15:00.000
But I remember saying to the Lord.

1213
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:13.400
I know I should be so much more grown up than this, but on the inside, I just, this is just what I want, you know, like, but like, I had to really look at, okay, where was that coming from?

1214
01:15:14.840 --> 01:15:19.000
And I think as a child, I really didn't have a lot of control.

1215
01:15:19.760 --> 01:15:25.680
And so having to take care of myself a lot, fed into that.

1216
01:15:26.240 --> 01:15:43.480
Um, and so, and then when I couldn't rely on people that were supposed to be people that loved me, like my ex-husband and friends that literally left my life and just a lot of things, um, I had to look at the origins, like going back to the origin story.

1217
01:15:43.480 --> 01:15:49.520
So for you, you said specifically the five-year-old girl wants to get her way.

1218
01:15:50.520 --> 01:16:11.240
So is there a story or something that comes to the surface, even as I'm saying that, that happened when you were five, where you did not get your way and that it ended up being something didn't go right, or, you know, you experienced some kind of division between your parents at that time or anything coming?

1219
01:16:11.840 --> 01:16:21.040
No, I laugh because I just really think I was a bratty little girl who had two older brothers and was used to kind of getting my way.

1220
01:16:21.440 --> 01:16:27.680
Um, and, you know, yeah, I just, I wanted it that way.

1221
01:16:27.680 --> 01:16:33.200
And, and now I feel like I'm, I mean, I've grown up from that, but I am resorting back.

1222
01:16:34.200 --> 01:17:01.360
So I still think that that's interesting, and I think you should follow that line of thought and ask the Lord about it because, you know, now hear me when I say this, we're all born with flesh and we have to learn how to not have the flesh, right, and how to control and cause the flesh to submit, but on some level,

1223
01:17:02.360 --> 01:17:07.360
the fact that you're calling yourself a bratty little girl is interesting to me.

1224
01:17:07.360 --> 01:17:09.360
Like, where did you hear that?

1225
01:17:09.360 --> 01:17:11.360
And why do you think that about yourself?

1226
01:17:11.360 --> 01:17:20.360
And maybe, maybe there were behaviors that you were exhibiting that people would say were bratty behaviors, and maybe you even feel that way about yourself.

1227
01:17:20.360 --> 01:17:26.360
Maybe forgiving yourself for that is a great start, but like, where did that come from?

1228
01:17:26.360 --> 01:17:36.360
Because I will tell you, my girls did a lot of stuff, and Olivia, I love her to pieces, but she was tough.

1229
01:17:36.360 --> 01:17:38.360
She was so tough.

1230
01:17:38.360 --> 01:17:40.360
And now, mind you, these girls were not mine.

1231
01:17:40.360 --> 01:17:47.360
And I remember one day, like, just, I mean, she threw so many tantrums, you all.

1232
01:17:47.360 --> 01:17:52.360
And I don't think I ever swore at her.

1233
01:17:52.360 --> 01:17:54.360
I don't think I ever called her a brat.

1234
01:17:54.360 --> 01:18:00.360
Like, I was losing my patience, that is for sure, the one day in particular.

1235
01:18:00.360 --> 01:18:11.360
But, you know, and I don't judge parents that do, because I understand that most people do what they were taught, or they saw it.

1236
01:18:11.360 --> 01:18:13.360
You know, we catch what we see, too.

1237
01:18:14.360 --> 01:18:18.360
And so, but my friend just came to visit.

1238
01:18:18.360 --> 01:18:26.360
She actually confessed to me that she's been really overwhelmed with her kids, and that she's been, like, swearing at her kids and stuff.

1239
01:18:26.360 --> 01:18:28.360
And I was like, what?

1240
01:18:28.360 --> 01:18:29.360
Why?

1241
01:18:29.360 --> 01:18:35.360
Like, you know, it's just hard for me to understand, but I know that people struggle.

1242
01:18:35.360 --> 01:18:41.360
And that, you know, again, when pressure is applied, what's in our hearts, it comes out.

1243
01:18:41.360 --> 01:18:44.360
And she's not even, like, ultimately, it's really not her kids.

1244
01:18:44.360 --> 01:18:51.360
There's other stuff that's been going on for a really long time, and she's just been feeling alone in it.

1245
01:18:51.360 --> 01:18:53.360
And so that comes out.

1246
01:18:53.360 --> 01:18:59.360
So all that to say, you know, pray into where did this bratty little girl perspective come from?

1247
01:18:59.360 --> 01:19:07.360
And did you feel like you had to be that way to be noticed, like, or to keep up with your bros, you know?

1248
01:19:07.360 --> 01:19:18.360
I mean, I was the baby in our family, and I don't know that any, I don't remember so much of my childhood, but I don't remember being called a brat or anything.

1249
01:19:18.360 --> 01:19:23.360
But my mom did say stuff like that to me.

1250
01:19:23.360 --> 01:19:30.360
And one time she even told me when I was a teenager that she never wanted me, and that they got pregnant with me on birth control.

1251
01:19:30.360 --> 01:19:31.360
What?

1252
01:19:31.360 --> 01:19:33.360
Why would you tell your kid that?

1253
01:19:33.360 --> 01:19:35.360
Now, I forgive my mom.

1254
01:19:35.360 --> 01:19:46.360
But the reality is, do you think for a second that didn't feed into the rejection I already felt as a kid, and that I started really believing the fact that my parents never wanted me?

1255
01:19:46.360 --> 01:19:48.360
100%.

1256
01:19:48.360 --> 01:19:51.360
And that was really hard for me.

1257
01:19:51.360 --> 01:20:00.360
So I genuinely believe that things that we think about ourselves, A, the enemy says stuff to us.

1258
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:06.560
and we believe it, and B, other people say it to us, and C, we say it to ourselves.

1259
01:20:06.560 --> 01:20:10.880
And so I want to encourage you to come out of alignment with that statement about yourself.

1260
01:20:12.880 --> 01:20:18.720
Even if it was true, Trina, okay? I don't want you to agree with that anymore. Even though that's

1261
01:20:18.720 --> 01:20:23.280
the five-year-old you and you're not that five-year-old girl anymore, you are that five-year-old

1262
01:20:23.280 --> 01:20:29.280
girl on the inside. And so I think it's it'd be really good for you to love that little girl on

1263
01:20:29.280 --> 01:20:34.560
the inside of you. Forgive her for the times that maybe she did things that other people labeled as

1264
01:20:34.560 --> 01:20:43.760
bratty, but let's also get inquisitive and ask the Lord to show you why. Okay?

1265
01:20:43.760 --> 01:20:44.880
Yeah.

1266
01:20:44.880 --> 01:20:48.960
Because I think the reason the little girl on the inside of you is throwing that tantrum,

1267
01:20:48.960 --> 01:20:52.240
so to speak, because that's what, when you said that, that's like, at least that's how

1268
01:20:52.240 --> 01:20:56.400
I felt about myself. I felt like I was throwing little tantrums emotionally on the inside.

1269
01:20:57.120 --> 01:21:04.320
And when I started loving that girl, that girl started healing and started to converge with the

1270
01:21:04.320 --> 01:21:13.200
older me that was living in the world today. And then I quit fighting God.

1271
01:21:17.520 --> 01:21:23.040
So I'll be interested to hear kind of how that goes. How are you feeling? Are you all right?

1272
01:21:26.880 --> 01:21:30.240
Um, yeah, I feel like I need to pray into that.

1273
01:21:30.240 --> 01:21:34.800
Yeah. I look forward to hearing how it goes. I just always feel like sometimes I can tell

1274
01:21:34.800 --> 01:21:37.920
you were processing, but I couldn't tell if it was landing really heavy,

1275
01:21:37.920 --> 01:21:41.600
if there was anything you were feeling. So I wanted just to do a check-in before we move

1276
01:21:41.600 --> 01:21:44.720
on to Danielle, but thank you so much for sharing that with us. And we'll be praying

1277
01:21:44.720 --> 01:21:49.280
for you about that as well. Yeah, you're welcome. Danielle, go ahead.

1278
01:21:50.480 --> 01:21:54.720
Hey, Bethany. I really appreciate this call. I look forward to it every week.

1279
01:21:55.600 --> 01:22:01.280
Thank you. I look forward to you guys speaking. Yeah, this is so great. So in our group,

1280
01:22:02.240 --> 01:22:07.920
I realized, you know, do I struggle to submit, you know, or what's my relationship with submission?

1281
01:22:07.920 --> 01:22:14.400
And my first thought is, well, yeah, I don't have a problem as long as I respect you.

1282
01:22:15.840 --> 01:22:22.640
And if I don't respect you, probably not getting my submission. And like, for example, my pastor

1283
01:22:22.640 --> 01:22:28.160
and my elders and like my small group leader, I mean, I'm a leader. It's like, yeah, I respect all

1284
01:22:28.160 --> 01:22:35.440
of you all. Right. But what about this dude I've just gone on one or two dates with? It's, you

1285
01:22:35.440 --> 01:22:41.360
know, where it's like really hard to, I really equate respect with submission. It's almost like

1286
01:22:41.360 --> 01:22:45.600
submissions a little conditional for me. And I realized I'm also talking about more of the,

1287
01:22:46.560 --> 01:22:54.320
you know, the earthly role of submission, not so much the heavenly. I do think it kind of

1288
01:22:54.320 --> 01:23:01.920
equates a little bit as well. But I really wrestle with this because, you know, in the Bible,

1289
01:23:01.920 --> 01:23:08.080
the woman, the wife is called to respect and submit to her husband, and he's called to love

1290
01:23:08.080 --> 01:23:14.320
his wife. And it's like, well, we wouldn't, we would say love is unconditional. But respect,

1291
01:23:14.320 --> 01:23:19.120
you know, I'm like, well, that's got a couple of conditions on it. I'm supposed to just respect

1292
01:23:19.120 --> 01:23:26.080
the dude just outright. What do you mean? It's like, is he supposed to just love me outright?

1293
01:23:26.640 --> 01:23:33.520
So I don't know if you could shed any light on that. I find them really difficult to separate,

1294
01:23:33.520 --> 01:23:42.080
I think. Well, I think even I said it earlier, at least for Brian and I, we believe respect

1295
01:23:42.080 --> 01:23:53.680
and submission go together. Okay. I do believe that sometimes because, you know, we go to jobs

1296
01:23:53.680 --> 01:24:00.000
where we might not know someone yet, and they're our boss, but we're called to respect them because

1297
01:24:00.000 --> 01:24:07.040
they're our boss, right? Sometimes as children, we're taught you just respect, you just do

1298
01:24:07.040 --> 01:24:13.520
everything adults tell you to do. Well, that can get kids into trouble, can it? Sure it can.

1299
01:24:14.480 --> 01:24:20.400
So just like some people will, what's coming up in my spirit, they'll even force their kids to hug

1300
01:24:20.400 --> 01:24:25.440
adults when their kids are totally not comfortable hugging those adults. You know,

1301
01:24:26.720 --> 01:24:32.080
that connects in my spirit for some reason, as I'm talking about this. You know, there's a level of

1302
01:24:32.080 --> 01:24:38.720
where I believe God is inviting us to discover people, if you will, to get to know them,

1303
01:24:39.600 --> 01:24:45.680
to be kind to them, even, hey ladies, even some guys that aren't going to be super great dates

1304
01:24:46.480 --> 01:24:50.800
because they don't have very good coaching and their hearts aren't, they're not healed.

1305
01:24:52.400 --> 01:24:57.520
You don't have to allow yourself to be treated badly, but we can still show kindness to someone

1306
01:24:58.320 --> 01:24:59.920
and we bless them and we

1307
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:05.920
move on. Okay. So I feel like that's the level of respect that

1308
01:25:05.920 --> 01:25:10.280
we can give. We can respect someone through our kindness

1309
01:25:11.160 --> 01:25:15.640
without submitting to them if they're an unhealthy person.

1310
01:25:15.680 --> 01:25:20.200
Does that make sense? And so even in leadership, you know,

1311
01:25:21.240 --> 01:25:26.240
I'll never forget some some ministers that I really, really

1312
01:25:26.240 --> 01:25:30.640
respect, and they've been around for a long time. This one in

1313
01:25:30.640 --> 01:25:33.220
particular, he was saying like stuff that he had went through

1314
01:25:33.220 --> 01:25:37.360
where this person was like openly persecuting him, like on

1315
01:25:37.360 --> 01:25:42.740
air, like on TV and stuff. And he really prayed into it. And

1316
01:25:42.740 --> 01:25:46.560
God asked him to start praying for that minister, and to start

1317
01:25:46.560 --> 01:25:51.400
doing kind things for him. And doing those kind things for that

1318
01:25:51.400 --> 01:25:56.880
enemy, so to speak, changed his heart. And it helped him to

1319
01:25:56.880 --> 01:26:01.440
love, you know, his enemy is the way God calls us to, I'm not

1320
01:26:01.440 --> 01:26:05.240
saying he went into close proximity with that person. So

1321
01:26:05.240 --> 01:26:08.240
ladies, I think that's super important. You know, we don't

1322
01:26:08.240 --> 01:26:13.480
have to be always right up close to people to show them honor and

1323
01:26:13.480 --> 01:26:19.520
respect and love and kindness. And, and again, I think that

1324
01:26:20.440 --> 01:26:26.680
submission kind of has to stay in its own lane. Right? Because

1325
01:26:26.680 --> 01:26:31.240
again, if someone's, you know, unhealthy, we want to really

1326
01:26:31.240 --> 01:26:35.400
pray about, okay, what does it look like to submit in this

1327
01:26:35.400 --> 01:26:43.200
situation? Is it wise or not? If you're married, and you don't

1328
01:26:43.200 --> 01:26:46.600
know the answer to that question, then you would seek

1329
01:26:46.600 --> 01:26:49.600
outside help, you would start to get counselors and support

1330
01:26:49.600 --> 01:26:52.760
systems. Maybe you would have people like, you know, we have,

1331
01:26:53.080 --> 01:26:56.800
Brian and I coach other couples, you know, and we've learned a

1332
01:26:56.800 --> 01:26:59.640
lot of stuff from relationships we went through that weren't

1333
01:26:59.640 --> 01:27:02.160
good. And we learned stuff from, you know, ministry and watching

1334
01:27:02.160 --> 01:27:04.600
other people, we've gone through trainings, like, there's just a

1335
01:27:04.600 --> 01:27:08.840
lot that we can offer and help people so that they hopefully

1336
01:27:08.840 --> 01:27:13.120
don't fall into the same pits that we fell into. And so I'm

1337
01:27:13.120 --> 01:27:15.400
not sure if that's helpful, Danielle, but like, I think

1338
01:27:15.400 --> 01:27:20.640
that's kind of key, is that if, if you're looking for do they

1339
01:27:20.640 --> 01:27:26.000
always have to go together submission and respect? I think

1340
01:27:26.000 --> 01:27:30.120
when it comes to our marriage partner, and people that were

1341
01:27:30.120 --> 01:27:34.680
choosing to be under their authority, like a job, we're

1342
01:27:34.680 --> 01:27:41.040
choosing to be there. Right? Now, yes, a lot of times as

1343
01:27:41.040 --> 01:27:43.320
Christians, we're going to pray and we're going to believe, you

1344
01:27:43.320 --> 01:27:50.280
know, most likely that God led us there. But if God leads us

1345
01:27:50.280 --> 01:27:53.640
there, we're still partnering with him in that process. And

1346
01:27:53.640 --> 01:27:58.160
God, you know, doesn't necessarily some people will

1347
01:27:58.160 --> 01:28:01.120
stay in places and keep saying God is keeping them there and

1348
01:28:01.120 --> 01:28:06.200
they're miserable. Y'all that doesn't fully make sense to me.

1349
01:28:06.200 --> 01:28:11.960
But then I also think of Joseph. But think about it. How did

1350
01:28:11.960 --> 01:28:16.840
Joseph story start? Did Joseph lead himself into the prison? He

1351
01:28:16.840 --> 01:28:21.640
didn't. And see, that's where we get things mixed up. Because

1352
01:28:21.640 --> 01:28:24.680
automatically I do I think of Joseph, he went through a lot of

1353
01:28:24.680 --> 01:28:28.640
really hard things. But those things were done to him. The

1354
01:28:28.640 --> 01:28:34.600
enemy sought to destroy him. Genesis 52, he said, I'm not

1355
01:28:35.360 --> 01:28:41.040
Genesis 5020 tells us this, but God worked it all together for

1356
01:28:41.040 --> 01:28:44.200
Joseph's good and not only Joseph's good, but to save many

1357
01:28:44.200 --> 01:28:48.360
people alive. But so many times we think of stories like that.

1358
01:28:48.360 --> 01:28:51.600
And we're like, Oh, yeah, God put him through all that. Why

1359
01:28:51.600 --> 01:28:58.960
did God do that? Well, man and their free will did that. The

1360
01:28:58.960 --> 01:29:03.920
enemy use those people to do those things. We forget that

1361
01:29:03.920 --> 01:29:09.200
part of the story. You know, but look at Joseph's example. What

1362
01:29:09.200 --> 01:29:16.160
did he do in the prison? He submitted, didn't he? And then

1363
01:29:16.160 --> 01:29:19.200
God brought him out of there and honored him and put him up on a

1364
01:29:19.200 --> 01:29:25.360
pedestal. So I don't know if that helps you, or gives you

1365
01:29:25.360 --> 01:29:28.240
more to think about for you and everybody else. But it's stuff

1366
01:29:28.240 --> 01:29:32.760
that I think about. I think there's a balance. I think that

1367
01:29:32.760 --> 01:29:35.560
we're praying and we're seeking wise counsel, like I was saying,

1368
01:29:35.880 --> 01:29:39.240
having this kind of community. This is ladies, this is going to

1369
01:29:39.240 --> 01:29:43.000
be an amazing gift to you if you will use it all the way through.

1370
01:29:44.080 --> 01:29:48.120
I came into the group and told them about every date I went on

1371
01:29:49.040 --> 01:29:53.480
every single date. And even I would come back and I'd be like,

1372
01:29:53.960 --> 01:29:56.720
this is what the guy said, this is what they did. You know, when

1373
01:29:56.720 --> 01:29:59.120
Brian came back, and he would ask me for

1374
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:01.800
you know, what were my guide non-negotiables?

1375
01:30:01.800 --> 01:30:03.360
Well, number one, he was the only guy

1376
01:30:03.360 --> 01:30:04.480
that asked me that question.

1377
01:30:04.480 --> 01:30:07.160
So I knew that was good right out of the gate.

1378
01:30:07.160 --> 01:30:08.400
But I literally came into the group,

1379
01:30:08.400 --> 01:30:09.240
y'all, what do I do?

1380
01:30:09.240 --> 01:30:10.080
What do I do?

1381
01:30:10.080 --> 01:30:11.000
Jackie, what?

1382
01:30:11.000 --> 01:30:13.980
You know, that's the amazing thing about our community.

1383
01:30:13.980 --> 01:30:17.820
You literally can ask other people for help in here

1384
01:30:17.820 --> 01:30:19.360
and the coaches are gonna respond

1385
01:30:19.360 --> 01:30:21.760
and they're gonna cheer you on and support you.

1386
01:30:21.760 --> 01:30:24.960
And so hopefully you're gonna learn

1387
01:30:24.960 --> 01:30:28.320
how to spot someone that's healthy,

1388
01:30:28.360 --> 01:30:31.360
that you can respect and submit to.

1389
01:30:32.920 --> 01:30:34.800
Yeah, so a little bit long.

1390
01:30:34.800 --> 01:30:36.520
Again, these other things come out

1391
01:30:36.520 --> 01:30:37.520
when y'all ask questions.

1392
01:30:37.520 --> 01:30:40.120
So I hope this was a blessing to y'all tonight.

1393
01:30:40.120 --> 01:30:43.720
We're at 9.30, I can't believe it already went so fast.

1394
01:30:43.720 --> 01:30:47.160
God is doing so much in your hearts and lives.

1395
01:30:47.160 --> 01:30:50.680
It's truly a joy of my life to come and be with you all.

1396
01:30:50.680 --> 01:30:54.080
I get so excited to see what God's doing.

1397
01:30:54.080 --> 01:30:56.800
So many of you are getting massive breakthrough.

1398
01:30:56.800 --> 01:30:58.660
I believe more is to come for you.

1399
01:30:59.960 --> 01:31:02.880
Remember, if the enemy tries to get you into hiding,

1400
01:31:02.880 --> 01:31:04.640
don't listen.

1401
01:31:04.640 --> 01:31:08.760
Go kind of against that and come into community.

1402
01:31:08.760 --> 01:31:10.480
Get to know your sisters.

1403
01:31:10.480 --> 01:31:12.200
This is your sister squad.

1404
01:31:12.200 --> 01:31:15.800
Some of you are going to like see each other get married

1405
01:31:15.800 --> 01:31:17.220
and it's gonna be exciting.

1406
01:31:17.220 --> 01:31:18.920
And you're gonna be like, oh my gosh,

1407
01:31:18.920 --> 01:31:21.560
she was in heart work at the same time as me.

1408
01:31:21.560 --> 01:31:23.760
So it can be really an amazing experience.

1409
01:31:23.760 --> 01:31:25.800
So let it be that for you.

1410
01:31:25.800 --> 01:31:28.840
And so as we close tonight, yeah, no hiding, Alina.

1411
01:31:28.840 --> 01:31:30.240
I'm so glad that you're here

1412
01:31:30.240 --> 01:31:33.060
and you're continuing to walk this all out.

1413
01:31:33.060 --> 01:31:33.900
Let's see here.

1414
01:31:33.900 --> 01:31:35.400
That's how, oh, Daniel, yeah.

1415
01:31:35.400 --> 01:31:36.900
I see your thing in there too.

1416
01:31:39.640 --> 01:31:40.720
Oh, Sherry.

1417
01:31:40.720 --> 01:31:44.160
Yes, being single a long time can lead us

1418
01:31:44.160 --> 01:31:47.360
to think that we don't need other people's help.

1419
01:31:47.360 --> 01:31:49.680
So one last thing that kind of made me think about it.

1420
01:31:49.680 --> 01:31:51.100
I did say this this afternoon.

1421
01:31:51.100 --> 01:31:53.120
Ladies, I want you to practice

1422
01:31:53.120 --> 01:31:55.160
letting people open the door for you.

1423
01:31:56.800 --> 01:32:00.120
I want you to practice letting people help you.

1424
01:32:00.120 --> 01:32:02.880
We're gonna do this several times throughout your journey.

1425
01:32:02.880 --> 01:32:05.900
Letting people help you, even if you can do it yourself.

1426
01:32:07.680 --> 01:32:10.880
I told this story of the first time Brian took me shopping.

1427
01:32:10.880 --> 01:32:13.400
He wanted to take me and buy me this nice stuff.

1428
01:32:13.400 --> 01:32:16.320
And I'd never had anybody do that before, number one.

1429
01:32:16.320 --> 01:32:20.380
It was very uncomfortable for me, but I learned.

1430
01:32:20.380 --> 01:32:23.360
I had to learn and practice receiving.

1431
01:32:23.360 --> 01:32:25.160
But here's the thing that he said to me,

1432
01:32:25.520 --> 01:32:27.080
even before we went there,

1433
01:32:27.080 --> 01:32:32.080
is he said, I'm just looking forward to carrying your bags.

1434
01:32:32.680 --> 01:32:34.000
I'm like, what?

1435
01:32:35.640 --> 01:32:36.760
I don't understand this.

1436
01:32:36.760 --> 01:32:38.660
I can carry my own bags.

1437
01:32:38.660 --> 01:32:42.000
And he's like, well, that's what feels so good.

1438
01:32:42.000 --> 01:32:44.400
I can go and take you and buy you nice things,

1439
01:32:44.400 --> 01:32:47.000
and then I can carry your bags for you.

1440
01:32:47.000 --> 01:32:49.920
Because that's what I, you know,

1441
01:32:49.920 --> 01:32:51.520
it's chivalry, that's what you do.

1442
01:32:51.520 --> 01:32:54.000
And I was like, oh, I didn't know.

1443
01:32:54.920 --> 01:32:59.920
Y'all, I never had a guy say like, my dad wasn't in my life.

1444
01:33:01.360 --> 01:33:04.080
My grandpa might've carried bags for me, I don't remember.

1445
01:33:04.080 --> 01:33:07.520
But I think, you know, I just had to do so much

1446
01:33:07.520 --> 01:33:10.980
for myself as a kid that I just didn't learn.

1447
01:33:12.180 --> 01:33:15.100
But God has been using Brian to teach me

1448
01:33:15.100 --> 01:33:15.940
what that looks like.

1449
01:33:15.940 --> 01:33:19.120
Sometimes he'll say, I forget what he was doing

1450
01:33:19.120 --> 01:33:21.640
the other day, and I was like, why are you doing that?

1451
01:33:21.640 --> 01:33:23.600
He's like, it's chivalry, it's chivalry.

1452
01:33:24.240 --> 01:33:25.880
And I'm like, I don't know about that.

1453
01:33:25.880 --> 01:33:28.740
So sometimes I do tease him, but like,

1454
01:33:28.740 --> 01:33:31.600
genuinely, they like to do things for us.

1455
01:33:31.600 --> 01:33:33.940
He likes to carry my food box

1456
01:33:33.940 --> 01:33:36.200
after we eat at the restaurant.

1457
01:33:36.200 --> 01:33:41.200
I can carry my food box just fine, but he likes to do it.

1458
01:33:42.380 --> 01:33:43.640
So you know what I do?

1459
01:33:43.640 --> 01:33:47.360
I let him, I let him do it.

1460
01:33:47.360 --> 01:33:51.880
Because that makes him feel good, like he's helping me.

1461
01:33:51.880 --> 01:33:53.880
Men like to help us, ladies.

1462
01:33:53.880 --> 01:33:55.840
And sometimes I do have to say,

1463
01:33:55.840 --> 01:33:58.800
I'll give you guys this other tidbit, practice this.

1464
01:33:58.800 --> 01:34:02.400
Ladies, sometimes we have to say to the men,

1465
01:34:02.400 --> 01:34:04.480
I'm going to tell you something,

1466
01:34:04.480 --> 01:34:06.360
but I just need you to listen.

1467
01:34:06.360 --> 01:34:08.480
I don't need you to try to fix this, okay?

1468
01:34:09.440 --> 01:34:12.560
Because men want to fix our problems.

1469
01:34:12.560 --> 01:34:16.560
Healthy men, healthy men want to fix our problems.

1470
01:34:16.560 --> 01:34:19.400
And Daniel, you asked me, was Brian someone

1471
01:34:19.400 --> 01:34:20.380
I met in this community?

1472
01:34:20.380 --> 01:34:21.400
No, he was not.

1473
01:34:22.540 --> 01:34:25.060
I always said I was never going to go back

1474
01:34:25.060 --> 01:34:27.580
on dating apps ever again,

1475
01:34:27.580 --> 01:34:30.460
because I met my spiritual daughter's dad there

1476
01:34:30.460 --> 01:34:35.460
on a dating app and it was horrible, horrible experience.

1477
01:34:35.580 --> 01:34:37.500
And so I equated that to,

1478
01:34:37.500 --> 01:34:40.240
I'm not doing dating apps ever again.

1479
01:34:40.240 --> 01:34:43.280
And lovely Miss Jackie Dorman,

1480
01:34:43.280 --> 01:34:45.460
back then you all, we had a small group

1481
01:34:45.460 --> 01:34:48.100
where we were just, you know, maybe 40 of us.

1482
01:34:48.180 --> 01:34:51.140
And so she had a lot of time to invest in us

1483
01:34:51.140 --> 01:34:53.260
little babe chicks back then,

1484
01:34:53.260 --> 01:34:58.260
but she kept messaging me, it's time, Bethany.

1485
01:34:59.020 --> 01:34:59.860
It's time.

1486
01:34:59.860 --> 01:35:00.680
And I'm like,

1487
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:05.200
can't. And she just kept kind of nudging. And eventually one day I was like, you know,

1488
01:35:05.200 --> 01:35:11.920
I think you're right. And that night we had a session about online dating and creating

1489
01:35:11.920 --> 01:35:17.920
profiles. I didn't even, I mean, I didn't know what I was doing. And so I learned from the coaches

1490
01:35:17.920 --> 01:35:26.320
and then I went live that night. That was September 2nd of 2021.

1491
01:35:26.320 --> 01:35:38.720
Brian messaged me on the app on September 6th of 2021. At first I said I was never going to move

1492
01:35:38.720 --> 01:35:44.240
you all. I said it. I was never going to move away from my girls. I told Jackie Dorman that too,

1493
01:35:44.240 --> 01:35:49.600
over and over and over again. And so originally I said it at two and a half hours. I was only

1494
01:35:49.600 --> 01:35:53.840
willing to date someone two and a half hours away. That was on September 2nd. That's what

1495
01:35:53.840 --> 01:36:00.560
I did on September 2nd. The more, well, and I'll, okay, I'll tell you this other little part of the

1496
01:36:00.560 --> 01:36:06.880
story. So you all, I was getting some, I was in Kentucky and, um, I was getting some people that

1497
01:36:08.480 --> 01:36:13.520
I was like, I think I need to widen this search because in Kentucky, if you don't, and if you're

1498
01:36:13.520 --> 01:36:18.640
from Kentucky, please don't get insulted, but there's some hills in Kentucky and there's all

1499
01:36:18.640 --> 01:36:24.320
different kinds of people all throughout Kentucky. And some of which probably were not

1500
01:36:24.320 --> 01:36:30.160
the crowd of people I wanted to date. That's the most polite way to say it. Okay. And so I'm like,

1501
01:36:30.160 --> 01:36:36.160
I think I need to widen my search here. And, uh, okay, Danielle, you're in since, oh, you totally

1502
01:36:36.160 --> 01:36:45.840
get it then. Um, so I wasn't willing to go much farther, but on the morning of September 6th, I,

1503
01:36:45.840 --> 01:36:52.320
I increased it to four and a half hours. And that is literally the day that Brian messaged me. You

1504
01:36:52.320 --> 01:37:02.320
all want to know how far away he was from me four and a half hours. No joke. He came and met me for

1505
01:37:02.320 --> 01:37:12.800
our first date on September 12th of 2021. And we got married September 4th of 2022.

1506
01:37:13.040 --> 01:37:20.880
God can do so many things ladies, but even in, listen, listen to what I'm saying. As I'm closing,

1507
01:37:22.080 --> 01:37:29.200
I did not want to go back on the apps. I was adamant about it. And through that,

1508
01:37:29.840 --> 01:37:35.680
I had to learn how to submit not only to God, but to Jackie and what she was saying.

1509
01:37:35.760 --> 01:37:44.240
And what she was saying. And then I had to submit my girls. I had to submit it all to him.

1510
01:37:45.840 --> 01:37:50.800
I'm now, if I was their bio mom, y'all, I don't know if I would have moved, but I'm not their

1511
01:37:50.800 --> 01:37:59.440
bio mom. I wish I was, it's been really hard to not be by them, but it's been really amazing to

1512
01:37:59.440 --> 01:38:05.200
have my teammate and my husband and God has something he's doing in us. And it's really,

1513
01:38:05.200 --> 01:38:13.200
really awesome. And so yes, Danielle, on December 24th of 2021, I've moved into my

1514
01:38:13.200 --> 01:38:19.120
new apartment in Marion, Indiana. I moved where he was at. And this is why originally we were

1515
01:38:19.120 --> 01:38:23.360
both going to move to a new location and we were both going to get new apartments, but he had just

1516
01:38:23.360 --> 01:38:30.000
started his pastoral. He had only been at the church he was at for six months. His dad had

1517
01:38:30.000 --> 01:38:36.000
passed away about a year before I met him and his mom was still really, really sad.

1518
01:38:37.360 --> 01:38:43.840
And I just, one day we were at lunch with her and his sister and I was with Brian and his sister and

1519
01:38:43.840 --> 01:38:50.880
his mom. And, uh, she was talking and in my spirit, the Lord said, you need to move to him.

1520
01:38:51.680 --> 01:38:57.280
His mom really needs him right now. And that's what I heard in my spirit. And so that's what I

1521
01:38:57.280 --> 01:39:05.520
did. So I had to submit in that too. So pretty good things to think about as we're closing for

1522
01:39:05.520 --> 01:39:16.160
submission tonight. Were those easy? No, none of them were. I left my job. I left my friends

1523
01:39:17.360 --> 01:39:25.120
and I, I chased after what I believed God was doing in me that was new. And, um, was it a risk?

1524
01:39:25.120 --> 01:39:33.600
Sure it was, but God was doing something pretty powerful. And, you know, I just, I just chose to

1525
01:39:33.600 --> 01:39:40.560
trust him. I wanted to date Brian before I married him locally. I didn't want to have four and a half

1526
01:39:40.560 --> 01:39:46.160
hours. It was really hard. The longer we dated when I would, like, I remember the one weekend

1527
01:39:46.160 --> 01:39:53.200
I went to drive back home and I just felt so sad that I had to leave him. And I started crying in

1528
01:39:53.200 --> 01:39:59.840
the car. And that was the day I'm like, I'm going to marry this man. I knew it. I knew it.

1529
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:04.000
And so, you know, for me, that was the choice that I made.

1530
01:40:04.000 --> 01:40:10.000
We do recommend that if y'all date long distance, that somebody moves so that you can date more locally

1531
01:40:10.000 --> 01:40:13.000
before you get married for a significant amount of time.

1532
01:40:13.000 --> 01:40:18.000
So anyways, you guys will learn more about all of those things as you go forward in the community.

1533
01:40:18.000 --> 01:40:20.000
But God is good.

1534
01:40:20.000 --> 01:40:25.000
And so, back to that picture I said earlier.

1535
01:40:25.000 --> 01:40:28.000
I had a little tiny teddy bear.

1536
01:40:28.000 --> 01:40:31.000
But God had a really big teddy bear for me.

1537
01:40:31.000 --> 01:40:36.000
And it included a package that included my husband, Brian.

1538
01:40:36.000 --> 01:40:40.000
Because I got a lot of things that God gave me in this time.

1539
01:40:40.000 --> 01:40:42.000
And so, for some of you, you might feel scared.

1540
01:40:42.000 --> 01:40:45.000
You might be like, oh, what is God going to ask me?

1541
01:40:45.000 --> 01:40:46.000
I don't want to move.

1542
01:40:46.000 --> 01:40:49.000
God, please don't ask me to move, even when you hear my story.

1543
01:40:49.000 --> 01:40:50.000
Okay?

1544
01:40:50.000 --> 01:40:52.000
Again, ladies, it was an invitation.

1545
01:40:52.000 --> 01:40:54.000
Here's something I want to leave you with.

1546
01:40:54.000 --> 01:40:56.000
We're literally going to log off.

1547
01:40:56.000 --> 01:41:03.000
Do you know that God would have still blessed me even if I hadn't moved there?

1548
01:41:03.000 --> 01:41:06.000
He would have, whether I truly believe that.

1549
01:41:06.000 --> 01:41:09.000
I truly, truly believe that.

1550
01:41:09.000 --> 01:41:12.000
I wouldn't have ruined my love story.

1551
01:41:12.000 --> 01:41:14.000
I believe it would have worked out, no matter what.

1552
01:41:14.000 --> 01:41:19.000
And so, I want you all to really pray into, God, where do I need to submit?

1553
01:41:19.000 --> 01:41:22.000
Where do I need to relinquish control?

1554
01:41:22.000 --> 01:41:25.000
Where do I need to grow in my ability to trust you?

1555
01:41:25.000 --> 01:41:26.000
I'm going to pray.

1556
01:41:26.000 --> 01:41:28.000
Father, thank you.

1557
01:41:28.000 --> 01:41:30.000
Thank you for what you're doing in their lives.

1558
01:41:30.000 --> 01:41:34.000
God, thank you for what you've done in me so that I can even share my story.

1559
01:41:34.000 --> 01:41:40.000
God, in the hard moments where we wrestle, just like Jacob wrestled, God,

1560
01:41:40.000 --> 01:41:47.000
and we struggle, and just like a caterpillar goes into that little cocoon

1561
01:41:47.000 --> 01:41:51.000
and the whole process of metamorphosis is happening and it's changing

1562
01:41:51.000 --> 01:41:53.000
and it's becoming a butterfly, God.

1563
01:41:53.000 --> 01:41:57.000
Sometimes someone could look from the outside and want to open that cocoon

1564
01:41:57.000 --> 01:42:01.000
and help that caterpillar out, but God, that cocoon is where it changes.

1565
01:42:01.000 --> 01:42:05.000
God, help us to stay in the process, to not abort the process,

1566
01:42:05.000 --> 01:42:08.000
to do the hard work, to do the things that you're showing us to do,

1567
01:42:08.000 --> 01:42:11.000
to surrender, to choose to submit to you.

1568
01:42:11.000 --> 01:42:15.000
God, help us to grow in the understanding of who you are as love and kindness,

1569
01:42:15.000 --> 01:42:16.000
faithfulness.

1570
01:42:16.000 --> 01:42:18.000
God, who you are is good.

1571
01:42:19.000 --> 01:42:21.000
Thank you, God, for changing us from the inside out,

1572
01:42:21.000 --> 01:42:25.000
for transforming us and healing us and redeeming our lives

1573
01:42:25.000 --> 01:42:28.000
and making us completely whole, lacking no good thing.

1574
01:42:28.000 --> 01:42:30.000
In Jesus' name, amen.

1575
01:42:30.000 --> 01:42:31.000
Ladies, God bless you.

1576
01:42:31.000 --> 01:42:33.000
I hope you have a good rest of your night.

1577
01:42:33.000 --> 01:42:35.000
It's been so awesome to be here with you.

1578
01:42:35.000 --> 01:42:36.000
I'll see you all in the groups.

1579
01:42:36.000 --> 01:42:37.000
Bye, everyone.

1580
01:42:37.000 --> 01:42:38.000
Hello.