WEBVTT

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All right, you guys, I wasn't sure if Renee was going to make it on, so you guys can have

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a little bit of a longer session because she can do some Q&A with you.

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So going to do a little housekeeping here at the beginning.

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So as you know, we're making some changes, they're very exciting changes.

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The changes are going to allow you to have a lot more contact with the women in our community

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and our extended community.

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So not just women in the program, but women that are alumni from the program and also

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women in your areas locally, people that are in proximity to you.

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So in fact, that's where I'm headed right now.

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I'm headed down to a studio that we have for the next six days to get some of this stuff

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finished.

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And so that's exciting.

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All right, so with that in mind, all of you have access to all phases of the program,

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phase one, two, and three.

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So you have heartwork access, you have dating coaching access as far as the files or the

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sessions of online dating, the Divine Masculine attachment styles, you have all the heartwork

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files that you have access to in your app group underneath your course tab.

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And then you have also have access via your calendar to everything we do in the VIP community.

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So the first week of the month is always Ask Jackie, that's where you can come and ask

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me all of your dating relationship heartwork questions.

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The week, week two, as far as the master calendar is concerned, it usually is some kind of community

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event, whether it's advanced online dating with Renee, perhaps it's just another dating

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Q&A with Renee or another coach.

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The third week of the month could be advanced heartwork with Bethany Cooper or something

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of the like.

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And then the last week of the month has historically been our women only and then men only.

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So we have been having Monday men's, but going forward, because of everything that you're

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going to have access to with this new era of last year's single, you will only be having

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men's the second and the fourth Monday of the month.

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So this being the fourth Monday, this is your men only and you'll also have one more that'll

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be the second Monday.

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So you'll see that reflected on your September calendar.

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Okay.

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All right.

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So what we're going to do on these men only nights is the first Monday that you have it,

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the second Monday of the month, that will be more of a like a heart check in.

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Where are you guys at?

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What are you working on?

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You'll be with one of the male coaches, you'll either be with Mike, you'll be with David,

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you'll with Brian.

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There's another Brian in the mix.

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So you'd be with one of the Brian's possibly with David, with Mike, and you'll be checking

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in.

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You'll be sharing with each other.

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That's for the purpose of community for each other.

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And then the last Monday of the month, you will have more of a coaching session that's

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just for men.

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It could be with a guy dating coach.

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It could be with a woman like me, Renee.

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It could be with Bethany Cooper, a little advanced heart work session.

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It could be with one of our dating coaches of phase two, but it will be something where

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you can do Q&A with us privately.

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The difference between this and Ask Jackie is Ask Jackie, which is next week, the first

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week of September, you have to ask your questions in front of a co-ed audience.

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So you're not able to ask questions with just other guys listening.

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And some men feel intimidated by that.

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And that's why we have a men's only session at the end of the month and a women's only

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session because there's some things that you just don't want to ask in this mixed company

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and that's fine.

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That makes sense.

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And so yeah, so that's why we'll have this.

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And so what I'd like to do tonight is I've been wanting to do this for a while, but I've

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been a dating coach for a really long time.

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I've been a matchmaker for a really long time.

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I've been a very successful dating coach and matchmaker and I've heard it all when it comes

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to what men want, what women want, what turns men off, what turns women off.

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And I'm going to do a little session with you guys here at the beginning of tonight,

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letting you know the top things that not just turn women off, but won't get you the

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second date, may not get you the first date.

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Also why you may be stuck in moving forward.

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I'm assuming that all of you are marriage-minded men or at least trying to get to a place where

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you're marriage-minded.

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And so what are the areas that men sabotage themselves the most?

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I'm going to go over this.

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I'm also going to share my notes with you in case you need those notes later.

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And then, Renee, you can do a little Q&A with them if you're available after I kind

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of share the notes that I have on this.

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Sound good?

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And then, Renee, if you want to add anything to this, you can also add to it.

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If you guys don't know Renee, Renee is one of...

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of our success stories, she's also one of our coaches.

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She has a long history of coaching at all different levels,

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leadership coaching, community coaching,

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spiritual coaching, and she has been a dating coach with us

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for a few years now, and also, once again,

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she is one of our success stories.

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She was in the program just like you,

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and now she's married, so good, good things.

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All right, so I'm gonna go over this stuff

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that I made notes on.

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These are my top ones, you guys.

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Now, I'm sure this is not an exhaustive list.

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There's all kinds of others, but these are the ones

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that I hear the most from women, okay?

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So if you feel seen and attacked tonight,

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I didn't do it on purpose.

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This is not based on any guys here in this program.

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Some of you are brand new.

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I'm looking at you.

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I don't even know you.

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I've never seen you before in my life,

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but these are things that I have seen

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over the last decade plus of matchmaking, dating coaching,

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what I've seen in spades in the last six years

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of last year single,

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and what I hear from women all the time,

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all the time, all the time, okay?

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All right, so I've broken it down

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into kind of six categories here.

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I'm just gonna fly through them, take a couple questions,

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and then let Renee also field questions

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and answers as well, okay?

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All right, also, since I don't know some of you,

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I should probably introduce myself.

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I'm Jackie Dorman.

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I'm the founder of Last Year Single,

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and I used to be your main coach

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when the men's group first started in 2020,

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but now I'm just one of your many coaches,

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but I definitely love my guys.

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I love to see you guys get success,

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and I will tell you,

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we almost have 100% success rate with our men.

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You know, our ladies have a lot of success too.

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We've had almost 2,000 matches in the last six years,

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but our men have almost a 100% success rate,

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and so I don't want y'all messing that up, okay?

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I'm just kidding, but seriously,

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I believe in your love story,

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and I wanna help you get there.

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All right, so the number one thing,

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and these are not necessarily in order.

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I'm just thinking now that I probably should've put them

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in order of most important, but I didn't,

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but this is a very, very important one, okay?

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And this won't even, this will be the difference

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between even getting the date.

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Now, if you're on a dating app

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and this person isn't with you, like in person,

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like you're not in community with them,

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you don't work with them,

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you've never met them in person before,

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you might get the date

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because there's no smell-o-vision, right?

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We don't smell what other people smell like

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over virtual meetings, whether it's a dating app,

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whether it's a phone call, whether it's Zoom,

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doesn't matter what it is.

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We also can't really get a really close-up look at people.

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We have no idea what their personage is like

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until we get in person with them.

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So you might get the first date

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if it's a virtual first meet,

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but you definitely won't get the second date

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if this is not in order, on lock, locked in.

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And the number one thing,

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I think you've already guessed it, is hygiene, hygiene.

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I'm not gonna make any cracks about men and their hygiene

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versus women and their hygiene.

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I've met a lot of women with really bad hygiene.

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So I don't think it's a male-female thing.

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I have, however, raised a son.

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And it seemed like the hygiene lessons

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were a lot harder one with him

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than they were with my daughters.

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I have two daughters and one son.

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He's married, y'all, though.

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We got him through.

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We got him all the way to the other side.

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He still has a very sketchy relationship

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with what we call in the female world

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an everything shower.

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In the female world, we call it an everything shower,

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which means it's just a deep down scrubbing, okay?

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And so I think he still has kind of

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a sketchy relationship with that,

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but that's gonna be on his wife to figure that out.

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All right, so hygiene is the price of admission, gentlemen.

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And I don't want you to feel like

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you're in ninth grade health class,

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but let's just go there.

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Brush your teeth.

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And you're like, Jackie, this is ridiculous.

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I mean, of course, we brush our teeth.

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You know, for the last 35 years, 40 years,

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depending on how old you are,

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you started brushing your teeth by yourself

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when you were five years old.

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You would think, but I can't tell you

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how many women report to me that the date

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that they were on, the guy had terrible oral hygiene.

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And I just wanna let you guys know this,

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and Renee can, she can testify

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that what I'm saying is the God's truth.

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Women love teeth.

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They're just, they're all about,

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and you don't have to have perfectly straight teeth, okay?

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But you gotta take care of what you got, okay?

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So brush your teeth.

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Floss, flossing, you know,

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a lot of you are from my generation,

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so you remember Yuck Mouth?

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Remember that, those PBS cartoons?

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that they showed us in school.

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They call me yuck mouth because I don't brush

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and I keep my teeth like this.

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You remember that?

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And then he was just like, how about a little kiss?

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Well, the answer is always no.

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So if you want to kiss the girl,

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which I'm sure at some point you will want to,

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you got to floss.

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Gingivitis is not cute.

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We don't want that.

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We don't want inflamed gums.

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We don't want bad breath.

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You guys, you can get a $2 tongue scraper off Amazon.

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It's like a piece of metal.

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You just wash it off after you use it,

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but scraping your tongue goes a long way to breath.

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Don't just take a mint.

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If you have gastric issues,

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a lot of times bad breath comes from the stomach.

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Figure that out.

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Work that out.

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But breath, flossing, brushing,

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getting your teeth professionally cleaned.

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You might not have dental insurance.

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I don't, but I know that there's lots of dental places

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that have a $99 special of teeth cleaning

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and free x-rays.

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Get it going.

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Get it happening.

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Crest white strips are incredibly cheap.

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Now, if you have tetracycline stains on your teeth,

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like my second boyfriend who was super hot in my teen years,

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but he took antibiotics when he was a kid.

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He got tetracycline stain on his teeth

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and his teeth looked like corn.

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What are those things?

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Candy corn.

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They were all different shades of yellow and orange,

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like a candy corn, but he was still really, really cute.

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I think that the love of your life

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is going to overlook your tetracycline stains

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if that's what it is.

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But if your teeth are just yellow from coffee,

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whatever it is that you've been doing,

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crest white strips are amazing.

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They're 40 bucks.

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00:11:38.860 --> 00:11:39.680
They're at Target.

252
00:11:39.680 --> 00:11:40.620
They're at Walmart.

253
00:11:40.620 --> 00:11:41.460
Go get them.

254
00:11:42.300 --> 00:11:44.260
Okay, teeth cleaned, whitening strips,

255
00:11:44.260 --> 00:11:45.700
shower, deodorant.

256
00:11:45.700 --> 00:11:48.080
Get a deodorant that works for you,

257
00:11:48.080 --> 00:11:51.020
that actually works, okay?

258
00:11:58.620 --> 00:12:03.620
It's incredible, so clean hair.

259
00:12:07.740 --> 00:12:09.260
This is huge, guys.

260
00:12:10.580 --> 00:12:12.340
I know that you like women to have clean hair

261
00:12:12.340 --> 00:12:13.460
and pretty hair.

262
00:12:13.460 --> 00:12:14.340
I just crimped my hair.

263
00:12:14.340 --> 00:12:15.340
Look at how pretty it is.

264
00:12:15.340 --> 00:12:16.740
You love pretty hair.

265
00:12:16.740 --> 00:12:17.820
We've heard from you.

266
00:12:17.820 --> 00:12:19.660
We know what you like.

267
00:12:19.660 --> 00:12:22.220
We also like nice hair, don't we?

268
00:12:22.220 --> 00:12:23.660
We like nice hair.

269
00:12:23.660 --> 00:12:25.660
Not necessarily, some of you don't have

270
00:12:25.660 --> 00:12:27.420
a lot of hair probably,

271
00:12:27.420 --> 00:12:28.820
but we want it to be clean.

272
00:12:28.820 --> 00:12:31.900
Not greasy, not grody.

273
00:12:33.580 --> 00:12:35.140
Also, manscaping.

274
00:12:35.140 --> 00:12:36.340
I call it manscaping.

275
00:12:36.340 --> 00:12:39.540
It's landscaping on your body from...

276
00:12:39.540 --> 00:12:40.620
Groom yourself.

277
00:12:40.620 --> 00:12:41.660
Groom your facial hair.

278
00:12:41.660 --> 00:12:42.500
You wanna keep a beard?

279
00:12:42.500 --> 00:12:43.340
You wanna keep a goatee?

280
00:12:43.340 --> 00:12:44.260
You got a soul patch?

281
00:12:44.260 --> 00:12:48.260
Keep it groomed, okay?

282
00:12:48.260 --> 00:12:50.660
Women like beards for the most part.

283
00:12:50.660 --> 00:12:54.780
Most women like well-groomed beards, mustaches.

284
00:12:54.780 --> 00:12:56.940
Most women are not into Duck Dynasty men

285
00:12:56.940 --> 00:12:57.940
or ZZ Top.

286
00:12:59.140 --> 00:13:00.380
They're not into that.

287
00:13:00.380 --> 00:13:01.900
They're not.

288
00:13:01.900 --> 00:13:03.540
Some women are.

289
00:13:03.540 --> 00:13:05.380
You can always find a woman that's into everything,

290
00:13:05.380 --> 00:13:07.460
but for the most part, that's not gonna be it.

291
00:13:07.460 --> 00:13:09.420
Trim your nose and ear hair.

292
00:13:09.420 --> 00:13:11.380
For some reason, as we get older,

293
00:13:11.380 --> 00:13:15.660
we get hair grow in places that it's just not.

294
00:13:15.660 --> 00:13:16.780
It's not what we want.

295
00:13:16.780 --> 00:13:17.620
Trim it.

296
00:13:17.620 --> 00:13:18.460
Get a trimmer.

297
00:13:18.460 --> 00:13:19.300
You guys are super cheap.

298
00:13:19.300 --> 00:13:21.620
You can buy everything from China on Amazon.

299
00:13:21.620 --> 00:13:22.460
Get it.

300
00:13:22.460 --> 00:13:23.300
You can have it.

301
00:13:23.300 --> 00:13:25.100
Smell good without drowning yourself in cologne.

302
00:13:25.100 --> 00:13:26.420
This is a big one.

303
00:13:27.220 --> 00:13:28.820
Men think, oh, I wanna smell good.

304
00:13:28.820 --> 00:13:30.020
Women like men who smell good.

305
00:13:30.020 --> 00:13:33.700
Yes, we do, but you want to,

306
00:13:33.700 --> 00:13:35.220
she needs to be able to smell you

307
00:13:35.220 --> 00:13:36.620
when she kind of gets in close

308
00:13:36.620 --> 00:13:39.180
for the initial hug when you first meet,

309
00:13:39.180 --> 00:13:40.940
maybe the hug goodbye,

310
00:13:40.940 --> 00:13:42.980
maybe when she's sitting next to you in the booth

311
00:13:42.980 --> 00:13:44.540
having the pizza.

312
00:13:44.540 --> 00:13:46.740
You don't want her to smell you coming.

313
00:13:46.740 --> 00:13:48.460
You don't wanna get in the elevator

314
00:13:48.460 --> 00:13:50.820
and then the next 5,000 people

315
00:13:50.820 --> 00:13:52.660
that get in the elevator after you are like,

316
00:13:52.660 --> 00:13:54.780
wow, someone had too much cologne on.

317
00:13:54.780 --> 00:13:56.140
Do not drown yourself in it.

318
00:13:56.860 --> 00:13:59.540
A light spritz, a little bit will do ya, okay?

319
00:13:59.540 --> 00:14:02.260
And then this is one that a lot of men don't think about,

320
00:14:02.260 --> 00:14:05.620
but make sure that your shoes are clean, all right?

321
00:14:05.620 --> 00:14:06.660
They don't have to be brand new.

322
00:14:06.660 --> 00:14:08.380
They don't have to be any certain type of shoes.

323
00:14:08.380 --> 00:14:10.460
I will tell you a lot of women look at men's feet.

324
00:14:10.460 --> 00:14:11.860
They look at your shoes.

325
00:14:11.860 --> 00:14:14.060
Shoes say a lot about a man.

326
00:14:14.060 --> 00:14:14.940
For whatever reason,

327
00:14:14.940 --> 00:14:18.580
they say a lot about what a man does,

328
00:14:18.580 --> 00:14:21.060
what he's into, like your tennis shoes,

329
00:14:21.060 --> 00:14:23.380
your dress shoes, but keep them clean.

330
00:14:23.380 --> 00:14:25.180
Keep them nice.

331
00:14:25.220 --> 00:14:27.300
And you don't have to be,

332
00:14:27.300 --> 00:14:28.300
you know, a lot of guys are like,

333
00:14:28.300 --> 00:14:30.380
well, I have to, you know, I'm not that handsome

334
00:14:30.380 --> 00:14:33.780
or, you know, I'm probably a five or six on the scale

335
00:14:33.780 --> 00:14:37.060
and, you know, I'm just gonna have to get a special woman

336
00:14:37.060 --> 00:14:38.980
that's gonna like me, you know,

337
00:14:38.980 --> 00:14:40.500
because I'm a few inches too short

338
00:14:40.500 --> 00:14:41.780
or I'm this or I'm that.

339
00:14:41.780 --> 00:14:43.260
No.

340
00:14:43.260 --> 00:14:46.220
What I'm telling you right now is what women notice.

341
00:14:46.220 --> 00:14:48.780
Now, I'm not saying height didn't make the top 10,

342
00:14:48.780 --> 00:14:50.340
but this made the top five.

343
00:14:52.100 --> 00:14:53.220
It made the top five.

344
00:14:53.220 --> 00:14:55.620
There's nothing you can do about your height.

345
00:14:55.620 --> 00:14:57.140
Don't break your legs and get surgery

346
00:14:57.140 --> 00:14:58.740
and get rods put in your legs, please,

347
00:14:58.740 --> 00:14:59.580
for the love of God.

348
00:14:59.580 --> 00:15:00.420
People are doing.

349
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:05.000
Don't do that. Don't put lifts in your shoes. Don't do that. I know they sell them. Don't do that.

350
00:15:05.000 --> 00:15:10.000
Just be you. The shortest guy that I ever helped get married was 5'3".

351
00:15:10.000 --> 00:15:13.000
Okay?

352
00:15:13.000 --> 00:15:19.000
The good news for all of you, and Renee is an example of this, is most women are super short.

353
00:15:19.000 --> 00:15:24.000
Renee is like, what are you, 4'10"? What are you, 4'4"?

354
00:15:24.000 --> 00:15:27.000
She's not even 5 feet tall.

355
00:15:27.000 --> 00:15:33.000
She's our little Italian spicy mama.

356
00:15:33.000 --> 00:15:36.000
All of 4'11 and shrinking.

357
00:15:36.000 --> 00:15:40.000
There you go. But there's a lot of women. I mean, I'm the exception. I'm 5'10".

358
00:15:40.000 --> 00:15:42.000
I'm on the other side of the spectrum.

359
00:15:42.000 --> 00:15:48.000
But there are so many women that average height, I think, is 5'4", but most women are under 5'4".

360
00:15:48.000 --> 00:15:53.000
So if you're a short king, just make sure you're a king.

361
00:15:53.000 --> 00:15:56.000
We don't care if you're short. Just make sure you're a king, all right?

362
00:15:56.000 --> 00:15:57.000
That's what you want to do.

363
00:15:57.000 --> 00:16:00.000
All right, number two, take care of your clothes.

364
00:16:00.000 --> 00:16:02.000
You do not need designer clothes.

365
00:16:02.000 --> 00:16:06.000
Women, for the most part, are going to look at what you're wearing and they're going to think, you know,

366
00:16:06.000 --> 00:16:09.000
how they're going to dress you when you're their man.

367
00:16:09.000 --> 00:16:12.000
So your clothes right now just need to fit your body.

368
00:16:12.000 --> 00:16:18.000
Go to a store that has female sales associates and ask them what they think.

369
00:16:18.000 --> 00:16:23.000
If you don't know how to pick out clothes for yourself, go to a store that has women working

370
00:16:23.000 --> 00:16:28.000
and find the cutest woman in the store and ask her what she thinks.

371
00:16:28.000 --> 00:16:29.000
What does she think?

372
00:16:29.000 --> 00:16:33.000
Now, not the youngest necessarily, y'all, because sometimes young, especially Gen Z,

373
00:16:33.000 --> 00:16:35.000
they have some weird ideas.

374
00:16:35.000 --> 00:16:37.000
Find the youngest millennial.

375
00:16:37.000 --> 00:16:41.000
So anyone who's 35 and up, cutest girl in the store.

376
00:16:41.000 --> 00:16:46.000
Ask her what she thinks of the shirt that you're buying, of the jeans that you're buying.

377
00:16:46.000 --> 00:16:49.000
A good pair of jeans goes a long way with women.

378
00:16:49.000 --> 00:16:53.000
Jeans that fit you, okay?

379
00:16:53.000 --> 00:16:56.000
Show off what your mama gave you, all right?

380
00:16:56.000 --> 00:16:59.000
Jeans that fit you, butt or no butt?

381
00:16:59.000 --> 00:17:01.000
Jeans that fit you are important.

382
00:17:01.000 --> 00:17:03.000
Pants that fit you, okay?

383
00:17:03.000 --> 00:17:06.000
Not wearing pants, even if you got a gut on you.

384
00:17:06.000 --> 00:17:10.000
Pants that fit you, not pants that look like, you know,

385
00:17:10.000 --> 00:17:12.000
you're just wearing them way, way, way down on your hips.

386
00:17:12.000 --> 00:17:13.000
We don't want that.

387
00:17:13.000 --> 00:17:16.000
Ask a woman, make sure your clothes fit.

388
00:17:16.000 --> 00:17:20.000
If you're a 42, shoulders, don't be wearing a 44.

389
00:17:20.000 --> 00:17:23.000
We don't want you to wear big boxy clothes.

390
00:17:23.000 --> 00:17:26.000
Fit what your current body looks like, okay?

391
00:17:26.000 --> 00:17:30.000
And then make sure that your clothes don't look like they just came out of a hamper.

392
00:17:30.000 --> 00:17:32.000
Iron them, steam them if necessary.

393
00:17:32.000 --> 00:17:38.000
Put them in the dryer, fluff them up.

394
00:17:38.000 --> 00:17:42.000
Own at least one legitimate first date outfit.

395
00:17:42.000 --> 00:17:43.000
Put together a first date outfit.

396
00:17:43.000 --> 00:17:46.000
This is what you're going to wear on a first date to coffee.

397
00:17:46.000 --> 00:17:48.000
This is what you're going to wear on a first date to dinner.

398
00:17:48.000 --> 00:17:51.000
This is what you're going to wear to a first date that's some kind of athletic,

399
00:17:51.000 --> 00:17:56.000
putt-putt golf, bowling, whatever it is that you guys have decided to do.

400
00:17:56.000 --> 00:17:58.000
You know, have that in your mind.

401
00:17:58.000 --> 00:18:01.000
Run it by some female friends, female family members.

402
00:18:01.000 --> 00:18:03.000
Get a decent haircut.

403
00:18:03.000 --> 00:18:05.000
You guys, haircuts are so important.

404
00:18:05.000 --> 00:18:06.000
Get a good barber.

405
00:18:06.000 --> 00:18:08.000
Get a good stylist.

406
00:18:08.000 --> 00:18:11.000
It's taken David so many years to get a good haircut,

407
00:18:11.000 --> 00:18:13.000
a good person that can give him a decent haircut.

408
00:18:13.000 --> 00:18:15.000
And now he only goes to her.

409
00:18:15.000 --> 00:18:18.000
So find someone who can give you a really great haircut.

410
00:18:18.000 --> 00:18:19.000
Go to them religiously.

411
00:18:19.000 --> 00:18:23.000
And, you know, if you guys want feedback from us,

412
00:18:23.000 --> 00:18:27.000
the female coaches in this community about what do you think of this hairstyle?

413
00:18:27.000 --> 00:18:31.000
You know, what do you think of, you know, what do you think my colors are?

414
00:18:31.000 --> 00:18:34.000
You know, not only women, not just women,

415
00:18:34.000 --> 00:18:38.000
should be wearing things that make them look good as far as colors are concerned.

416
00:18:38.000 --> 00:18:40.000
Men should too.

417
00:18:40.000 --> 00:18:42.000
You know, this is the benefit of having a wife.

418
00:18:42.000 --> 00:18:44.000
My husband will try on clothes at the store and I'll be like,

419
00:18:44.000 --> 00:18:46.000
babe, that color washes you out.

420
00:18:46.000 --> 00:18:48.000
That's not your color.

421
00:18:48.000 --> 00:18:51.000
That makes your skin look really red or that makes you look really pale.

422
00:18:51.000 --> 00:18:54.000
You know, that is what your colors are about.

423
00:18:54.000 --> 00:18:56.000
And so men are seasons as well as women.

424
00:18:56.000 --> 00:19:02.000
So all of you in here are winters, summers, springs, falls with your coloring.

425
00:19:02.000 --> 00:19:04.000
You know, for instance, I'm a deep autumn.

426
00:19:04.000 --> 00:19:05.000
Okay.

427
00:19:05.000 --> 00:19:06.000
So I look good in warm colors.

428
00:19:06.000 --> 00:19:09.000
I look good in rich colors and vibrant colors.

429
00:19:09.000 --> 00:19:12.000
I don't look good in pale colors or pastel colors.

430
00:19:12.000 --> 00:19:15.000
And so some of you have this kind of color.

431
00:19:15.000 --> 00:19:16.000
Some of you are winters.

432
00:19:16.000 --> 00:19:17.000
Some of you are springs.

433
00:19:17.000 --> 00:19:20.000
You're fair skinned and you look good in fair colors.

434
00:19:20.000 --> 00:19:23.000
You know, you look good in light blue and, you know,

435
00:19:23.000 --> 00:19:25.000
light green and different colors like that.

436
00:19:25.000 --> 00:19:28.000
So dress for what looks good on you.

437
00:19:28.000 --> 00:19:30.000
Here's kind of a litmus test.

438
00:19:30.000 --> 00:19:33.000
If you've ever worn a shirt that you get a lot of compliments on,

439
00:19:33.000 --> 00:19:35.000
people are like, hey, you look good in that shirt.

440
00:19:35.000 --> 00:19:36.000
You look good in that color.

441
00:19:36.000 --> 00:19:38.000
That's your color family probably.

442
00:19:38.000 --> 00:19:39.000
Okay.

443
00:19:39.000 --> 00:19:41.000
Something that makes you look like you've come alive.

444
00:19:41.000 --> 00:19:42.000
Come alive.

445
00:19:42.000 --> 00:19:43.000
Okay.

446
00:19:43.000 --> 00:19:44.000
Take care of yourself.

447
00:19:44.000 --> 00:19:48.000
This is self-explanatory, but walking is huge.

448
00:19:48.000 --> 00:19:49.000
Lifting weights.

449
00:19:49.000 --> 00:19:51.000
If you don't have weights, do pushups.

450
00:19:51.000 --> 00:19:53.000
Gentlemen, you can use your own body weight.

451
00:19:53.000 --> 00:19:57.000
My husband's been doing pushups every morning for three weeks and he's got

452
00:19:57.000 --> 00:19:59.000
It's transformed his body.

453
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:04.320
in three weeks. The good news about being a man is you have the ability to build muscle

454
00:20:04.320 --> 00:20:10.120
quickly especially if your testosterone is on point and nowadays you have no excuse to

455
00:20:10.120 --> 00:20:14.320
not have your testosterone on point because they're selling testosterone on every street

456
00:20:14.320 --> 00:20:19.920
corner. They used to sell drugs and now they're selling tea. You can get it everywhere, okay?

457
00:20:19.920 --> 00:20:23.360
Get a simple blood test to find out if yours is low and guess what? If you're over 40,

458
00:20:23.360 --> 00:20:28.960
yours is low. It is. It's low. You can eat food that boosts your testosterone and you

459
00:20:28.960 --> 00:20:34.360
can also take supplements, bioidentical, good for you supplements that boost your testosterone.

460
00:20:34.360 --> 00:20:38.520
Look into it. If you want to join the gym, get a gym membership. That's fine but eat

461
00:20:38.520 --> 00:20:44.440
reasonably well, 80-20, try to eat healthy, stop eating fast food all the time, get appropriate

462
00:20:44.440 --> 00:20:49.000
medical care, get enough sleep, maintain your body weight, your strength. Why am I saying

463
00:20:49.000 --> 00:20:54.560
this? Because the number one fear of women over the age of 35 is that they're going to

464
00:20:54.560 --> 00:20:58.700
marry a man who doesn't take care of themselves and they're going to either be a widow or

465
00:20:58.700 --> 00:21:03.820
they're going to be a caretaker for a man who's sick. That's the number one fear of

466
00:21:03.820 --> 00:21:14.740
women over 35 years old. Number one fear. So women ask themselves if they're over 35,

467
00:21:14.740 --> 00:21:20.940
is this man taking responsibility for his health or am I potentially signing up to be

468
00:21:20.940 --> 00:21:26.220
his caretaker someday? No matter how much we like you, if you're sloppy, if you're overweight,

469
00:21:26.220 --> 00:21:32.100
if you're unwell, if you don't have healthy habits, you don't have to have all healthy

470
00:21:32.100 --> 00:21:37.860
habits but you have to have some and if you don't, we get very, very concerned. If any

471
00:21:37.860 --> 00:21:45.620
of you have ever even known a woman, you know that women have a tendency to already be nags,

472
00:21:45.620 --> 00:21:49.740
and so don't give them anything to nag you about when you're meeting them. Oh, you really

473
00:21:49.740 --> 00:21:55.940
shouldn't eat that or you really should take better care of yourself. Take care of yourself.

474
00:21:55.940 --> 00:22:00.180
Number four, financially responsible. You don't have to be rich. I know you think you

475
00:22:00.180 --> 00:22:04.820
do. I think I know that most men think women are some level of hypergamous, which is just

476
00:22:04.820 --> 00:22:09.620
a fancy word for gold digger, but it's not true. Okay. There are women that are looking

477
00:22:09.620 --> 00:22:14.260
for a man to be their financial plan. That's true. Stay away from those women. You don't

478
00:22:14.260 --> 00:22:19.700
need a woman who wants you to be her financial plan, but you do need to take care of the

479
00:22:19.700 --> 00:22:25.140
money that you do have by being a wise steward of it. Pay your bills, know where your money's

480
00:22:25.140 --> 00:22:29.660
going, live within your means, have a plan for any debt that you have, have a plan to

481
00:22:29.660 --> 00:22:36.940
pay it off. Try to save something, especially you guys that are closer to retirement. Um,

482
00:22:36.940 --> 00:22:42.140
let's see. Don't, yeah, obviously I don't think women should be looking for a man to

483
00:22:42.140 --> 00:22:46.300
be their financial plan, but you also shouldn't be looking for a woman to rescue you financially.

484
00:22:46.300 --> 00:22:52.660
Right? You don't need to own a yacht, but a woman is not going to climb aboard a sinking

485
00:22:52.700 --> 00:22:59.100
ship unless she's unhealthy. Okay. And so you need to make sure that you have this together.

486
00:22:59.100 --> 00:23:02.940
Now do you have to have it together before you start dating? No, but you have to have

487
00:23:02.940 --> 00:23:08.100
a plan to get it together. So if you do have debt, most people do make sure that you have

488
00:23:08.100 --> 00:23:12.460
a plan to get out of debt and that you're working that plan before you meet the love

489
00:23:12.460 --> 00:23:17.060
of your life. Even if you've only been working that plan for two weeks, be working the plan,

490
00:23:17.060 --> 00:23:23.460
have a budget and do what you need to do to be financially healthy. All right. Number

491
00:23:23.460 --> 00:23:31.660
five, look at the trail of relationships behind you. All right. Women are very relational,

492
00:23:31.660 --> 00:23:36.260
so they're going to question you about your relationships with your siblings, with your

493
00:23:36.260 --> 00:23:41.980
parents, with the mother of your children, with your former spouse. Okay. We got to do

494
00:23:41.980 --> 00:23:48.460
our heart work because if you show up defensive, if you show up blaming everybody all the time,

495
00:23:48.460 --> 00:23:52.660
everyone that you've ever known as a narcissist, they're toxic, they're crazy, they're jealous,

496
00:23:52.660 --> 00:24:00.460
they're evil. That's the common denominator is you. You are attracting crazy, toxic, narcissistic,

497
00:24:00.460 --> 00:24:08.540
jealous, evil women. Guess what? No healthy woman is going to want to be the next crazy,

498
00:24:08.540 --> 00:24:13.540
toxic narcissist that you're talking about because she's going to think that you're the

499
00:24:13.540 --> 00:24:17.940
problem and that you're just blaming it on everybody else and not owning your side of

500
00:24:17.940 --> 00:24:23.460
the street. Okay. All right. So women listen, they listen very carefully when you're describing

501
00:24:23.460 --> 00:24:28.940
your relationships. So make sure that you are doing your heart work, you're forgiving,

502
00:24:28.940 --> 00:24:35.980
you're keeping short lists, you're getting rid of bitterness and you're repairing relationships

503
00:24:36.020 --> 00:24:40.420
in your life that you need to. Women want to know that you have lifelong relationships,

504
00:24:40.420 --> 00:24:45.500
that you have people that like you, that believe in you, that support you. Now,

505
00:24:45.500 --> 00:24:48.700
if you've not been blessed to have those kind of people in your life, then it's important that

506
00:24:48.700 --> 00:24:52.860
you're making that kind of community and guess what? You can make that kind of community here.

507
00:24:52.860 --> 00:24:59.260
No woman really wants to marry a Lone Ranger. Everybody wants to marry a man who is known in

508
00:24:59.260 --> 00:25:00.060
his own community.

509
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:07.180
community as someone who has integrity, someone who's trustworthy.

510
00:25:07.180 --> 00:25:11.280
And so if you don't have community, let's start building one.

511
00:25:11.280 --> 00:25:16.560
And number six, did I put seven?

512
00:25:16.560 --> 00:25:22.200
I guess I put a few more, because I think I sort of tried to put these in different

513
00:25:22.200 --> 00:25:27.080
categories, although you can see that they kind of all go together.

514
00:25:27.080 --> 00:25:32.160
So this just goes with the other one that I just said, just defensiveness is a turn

515
00:25:32.160 --> 00:25:33.680
off.

516
00:25:33.680 --> 00:25:37.560
If you always need to be right, if you always need to be perfect, if you're always defending

517
00:25:37.560 --> 00:25:43.160
yourself, that is not good.

518
00:25:43.160 --> 00:25:46.720
I know that you don't want a woman to become your teacher, your coach, your counselor,

519
00:25:46.720 --> 00:25:52.720
your therapist, and we don't want, we want women to stay in their lane for sure.

520
00:25:52.720 --> 00:25:57.920
But if you're always retaliating when someone's bringing something up to you, then that comes

521
00:25:57.920 --> 00:26:01.320
across as very emotionally immature.

522
00:26:01.320 --> 00:26:02.960
That feeds into the next one.

523
00:26:02.960 --> 00:26:11.360
Learn how to regulate your emotions, specifically frustration, anger.

524
00:26:11.360 --> 00:26:13.860
We got to regulate these emotions.

525
00:26:13.860 --> 00:26:18.400
So please watch out for anything that can become intimidating.

526
00:26:18.400 --> 00:26:20.040
Yelling is not leadership.

527
00:26:20.040 --> 00:26:21.920
Intimidation is not masculinity.

528
00:26:21.920 --> 00:26:27.040
So watch raising your voice, name calling, this should never happen.

529
00:26:27.040 --> 00:26:31.560
Any kind of cruel sarcasm, sarcasm, road rage is a big one.

530
00:26:31.560 --> 00:26:34.280
A lot of men suffer from road rage for whatever reason.

531
00:26:34.280 --> 00:26:35.280
You can be the nicest guy.

532
00:26:35.280 --> 00:26:38.720
You get behind the wheel of a car and you turn into Yosemite Sam.

533
00:26:38.720 --> 00:26:39.720
Remember him?

534
00:26:39.720 --> 00:26:44.880
Some of the younger people are like, what?

535
00:26:44.880 --> 00:26:48.760
You turn into just a hothead, okay?

536
00:26:48.760 --> 00:26:58.000
Slamming things, criticizing, punishing someone with silence, that's all, those are all anger

537
00:26:58.000 --> 00:26:59.000
tactics.

538
00:26:59.000 --> 00:27:03.920
Now, I don't want you to be, listen, there's a, there's a line here.

539
00:27:03.920 --> 00:27:07.720
Women want men and they want masculine men.

540
00:27:07.720 --> 00:27:08.720
Healthy women do.

541
00:27:08.720 --> 00:27:09.720
Okay.

542
00:27:09.720 --> 00:27:10.720
So we want you to be masculine.

543
00:27:10.720 --> 00:27:12.560
We don't want you to be a pushover.

544
00:27:12.560 --> 00:27:13.600
We don't want you to be whooped.

545
00:27:13.600 --> 00:27:18.080
We don't want you to, you know, be passive.

546
00:27:18.080 --> 00:27:20.840
That's a massive turnoff.

547
00:27:20.840 --> 00:27:25.320
But the way that you behave when something doesn't go your way, when you get mad about

548
00:27:25.320 --> 00:27:31.520
something, when you get frustrated about something, tells a woman whether or not you can be trusted.

549
00:27:31.520 --> 00:27:32.720
Okay.

550
00:27:32.720 --> 00:27:33.720
So that matters.

551
00:27:33.720 --> 00:27:34.720
Okay.

552
00:27:34.720 --> 00:27:35.720
Negativity.

553
00:27:35.720 --> 00:27:37.440
And this just goes back to relationships.

554
00:27:37.440 --> 00:27:42.600
If you have an ex-wife, if you have a mother of your children, if you have a tenuous relationship

555
00:27:42.600 --> 00:27:49.200
with a sibling or a parent, how you talk about those people is going to be important.

556
00:27:49.200 --> 00:27:54.880
And how you talk in general, gentlemen, one of the number one turnoffs for women are men

557
00:27:54.880 --> 00:27:56.480
that are just complaining about everything.

558
00:27:56.480 --> 00:28:02.360
Your divorce, the dating apps, politics, women today, your terrible boss, your terrible childhood,

559
00:28:02.360 --> 00:28:04.580
how unfair everything is.

560
00:28:04.580 --> 00:28:05.580
That's exhausting.

561
00:28:05.580 --> 00:28:06.580
Okay.

562
00:28:06.580 --> 00:28:07.940
You want women to have joy?

563
00:28:07.940 --> 00:28:10.900
You want them to show up with a, you know, feminine heart?

564
00:28:10.900 --> 00:28:15.780
They need you to show up owning your side of the street and not complaining about everything.

565
00:28:15.780 --> 00:28:18.580
And the huge turnoff is politics.

566
00:28:18.580 --> 00:28:25.380
If you're going to make every date your TED talk on politics, nope.

567
00:28:25.380 --> 00:28:27.380
Don't do it.

568
00:28:27.380 --> 00:28:29.300
I'm married to David for 20 years.

569
00:28:29.300 --> 00:28:33.700
He starts talking politics, I zone right out.

570
00:28:33.700 --> 00:28:36.020
He can go talk to his guy friends about politics.

571
00:28:36.020 --> 00:28:37.340
Don't talk to me about politics.

572
00:28:37.340 --> 00:28:38.980
I don't want to hear it.

573
00:28:38.980 --> 00:28:39.980
Okay.

574
00:28:40.060 --> 00:28:44.260
There's a reason why I deleted all my news apps during the second election because I

575
00:28:44.260 --> 00:28:47.780
was tired of hearing people fuss and fight.

576
00:28:47.780 --> 00:28:48.780
Men like news.

577
00:28:48.780 --> 00:28:49.780
They like to be informed.

578
00:28:49.780 --> 00:28:50.780
I get it.

579
00:28:50.780 --> 00:28:51.780
It's a very guy thing to do.

580
00:28:51.780 --> 00:28:52.780
And some women do too.

581
00:28:52.780 --> 00:28:54.620
And you might find a woman that's into it.

582
00:28:54.620 --> 00:28:58.700
But most women are not going to want to hear about your love for Trump or your hate for

583
00:28:58.700 --> 00:29:03.500
Trump or your love and hate for everything else and China and Russia and all the things

584
00:29:03.500 --> 00:29:09.100
or whatever conspiracy theory you're thinking about right now.

585
00:29:09.220 --> 00:29:10.380
Create a group.

586
00:29:10.380 --> 00:29:12.300
Talk to other people that are into that stuff.

587
00:29:12.300 --> 00:29:14.500
Don't bring that stuff to your dates.

588
00:29:14.500 --> 00:29:15.500
Okay.

589
00:29:15.500 --> 00:29:18.140
All right.

590
00:29:18.140 --> 00:29:21.020
And then learn how to have a conversation.

591
00:29:21.020 --> 00:29:25.060
And Renee is going to laugh at this, but if I was going to, if I was going to rate these,

592
00:29:25.060 --> 00:29:29.860
I think this would either be number one or number two right behind dental hygiene.

593
00:29:29.860 --> 00:29:33.540
Ask for the love of God.

594
00:29:33.540 --> 00:29:37.820
Ask women questions.

595
00:29:37.820 --> 00:29:40.860
A date should not feel like you're, it's your podcast.

596
00:29:40.860 --> 00:29:41.860
Okay.

597
00:29:41.860 --> 00:29:48.540
Where you're literally just telling her everything you ever learned in your whole life conversations.

598
00:29:48.540 --> 00:29:50.660
This is the way they work.

599
00:29:50.660 --> 00:29:55.620
You talk and then you pause and you let them answer and then they talk and then you ask

600
00:29:55.620 --> 00:29:58.740
them questions about what they just said and vice versa.

601
00:29:58.740 --> 00:29:59.940
And then you talk.

602
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:01.860
If your opinion, they give their opinion.

603
00:30:01.860 --> 00:30:03.780
You ask a question, they give an answer.

604
00:30:03.780 --> 00:30:05.080
They ask a question.

605
00:30:05.080 --> 00:30:08.020
That is the way conversations work.

606
00:30:08.020 --> 00:30:10.700
The number one or number two complaint

607
00:30:10.700 --> 00:30:14.660
that we have for women is he talked the whole time.

608
00:30:14.660 --> 00:30:16.020
He didn't ask me any questions.

609
00:30:16.020 --> 00:30:18.300
He didn't seem interested in me.

610
00:30:18.300 --> 00:30:20.180
He didn't seem interested in getting to know me.

611
00:30:20.180 --> 00:30:22.020
He didn't seem interested in my life.

612
00:30:24.000 --> 00:30:25.220
He talked my head off.

613
00:30:26.540 --> 00:30:29.980
They feel like they just got, it's a drive-by talking.

614
00:30:29.980 --> 00:30:32.340
It just got totally just mowed over

615
00:30:32.340 --> 00:30:34.640
by you talk, talk, talking,

616
00:30:35.480 --> 00:30:39.360
and them just not being able to share at all, okay?

617
00:30:40.340 --> 00:30:45.340
So at best, that makes you seem uninterested in them.

618
00:30:46.720 --> 00:30:50.720
And at worst, it makes you seem like a narcissist, okay?

619
00:30:50.720 --> 00:30:55.720
And so let's learn how to have conversations.

620
00:30:56.860 --> 00:30:58.580
And also don't not talk.

621
00:30:58.580 --> 00:31:00.180
There's the other side of it, I guess.

622
00:31:00.180 --> 00:31:02.660
We don't get this complained about as much,

623
00:31:02.660 --> 00:31:05.460
but sometimes, I guess, men just don't say anything.

624
00:31:05.460 --> 00:31:08.060
They don't ask questions, but they also don't talk at all.

625
00:31:08.060 --> 00:31:11.900
And so if you're shy, you might wanna just lead with that.

626
00:31:11.900 --> 00:31:13.220
Say, hey, you know,

627
00:31:13.220 --> 00:31:15.600
I'm kind of a more introverted personality,

628
00:31:15.600 --> 00:31:20.600
so I may let you do more of the talking than my share,

629
00:31:21.660 --> 00:31:26.300
but just so you know, it's just, you know,

630
00:31:26.300 --> 00:31:27.580
it's just kind of my personality,

631
00:31:27.580 --> 00:31:30.100
but, you know, you're working on it, okay?

632
00:31:30.100 --> 00:31:33.000
Working on opening up and sharing more, okay.

633
00:31:33.000 --> 00:31:35.260
All right, so this, that's what I have.

634
00:31:35.260 --> 00:31:38.500
I've been wanting to do this for a long time.

635
00:31:40.820 --> 00:31:43.340
There are some, I put on here some,

636
00:31:50.140 --> 00:31:53.420
some ones that didn't make the actual list,

637
00:31:53.420 --> 00:31:58.420
but are definitely honorary mentions.

638
00:31:58.980 --> 00:32:03.180
And those are just have a life that you actually like,

639
00:32:03.180 --> 00:32:04.740
friends, interests, purpose.

640
00:32:04.740 --> 00:32:06.660
Women like men that are going somewhere.

641
00:32:06.660 --> 00:32:09.840
Women want to know that you have a plan for your life

642
00:32:09.840 --> 00:32:12.220
because they wanna connect to that plan.

643
00:32:12.220 --> 00:32:13.900
Obviously, put your phone down

644
00:32:13.900 --> 00:32:15.060
when you're getting to know a woman.

645
00:32:15.060 --> 00:32:16.460
Don't be scrolling on your phone.

646
00:32:16.460 --> 00:32:18.900
That makes you look really bored and uninterested.

647
00:32:18.900 --> 00:32:20.940
Some people do that when they're,

648
00:32:20.940 --> 00:32:23.180
some people use their phone to regulate their anxiety,

649
00:32:23.940 --> 00:32:24.780
to regulate their emotions.

650
00:32:24.780 --> 00:32:25.600
They start getting nervous,

651
00:32:25.600 --> 00:32:27.340
and they'll just start fidgeting with their phone

652
00:32:27.340 --> 00:32:29.900
or scrolling on their phone, okay?

653
00:32:29.900 --> 00:32:32.300
So be aware of that if you're one of those people.

654
00:32:32.300 --> 00:32:34.100
Just turn your phone off when you're on the date.

655
00:32:34.100 --> 00:32:35.540
Put it in your pocket.

656
00:32:35.540 --> 00:32:39.880
And then honorary mentions besides that,

657
00:32:41.420 --> 00:32:44.480
I think that that was it, all right?

658
00:32:45.660 --> 00:32:47.460
Oh, another honorary mention.

659
00:32:47.460 --> 00:32:52.460
This gets complained about sometimes,

660
00:32:52.780 --> 00:32:54.900
it's definitely not in the top five,

661
00:32:56.020 --> 00:32:58.280
but I think it would be in the top 10.

662
00:32:58.280 --> 00:32:59.940
When you're getting to know a woman,

663
00:32:59.940 --> 00:33:02.180
do not push sexual boundaries.

664
00:33:02.180 --> 00:33:04.620
So if she sets a boundary, don't push it.

665
00:33:06.940 --> 00:33:08.940
I'm not even gonna repeat what a woman told me

666
00:33:08.940 --> 00:33:12.660
in coaching yesterday about her second date

667
00:33:12.660 --> 00:33:13.980
and what the guy, you know,

668
00:33:13.980 --> 00:33:16.040
she gave him a kiss on the second date,

669
00:33:16.040 --> 00:33:18.540
but while they were having a kiss,

670
00:33:18.540 --> 00:33:20.820
he leaned over and whispered something in her ear

671
00:33:20.820 --> 00:33:23.420
that was beyond inappropriate.

672
00:33:24.420 --> 00:33:26.180
I mean, beyond inappropriate, I mean,

673
00:33:26.180 --> 00:33:28.660
the only people that could whisper something like this

674
00:33:28.660 --> 00:33:31.780
into someone's ear is someone who's married.

675
00:33:31.780 --> 00:33:35.620
I mean, it's like way beyond first date, second date,

676
00:33:35.620 --> 00:33:39.540
third date, 10th date, dating, boyfriend, girlfriend,

677
00:33:39.540 --> 00:33:41.700
way beyond engaged folks.

678
00:33:41.700 --> 00:33:43.340
I mean, it was like next level.

679
00:33:43.340 --> 00:33:47.880
And so, and then if you were married,

680
00:33:47.880 --> 00:33:49.880
it would be like straight up dirty talk.

681
00:33:49.880 --> 00:33:52.820
So, which married people do, by the way,

682
00:33:52.820 --> 00:33:55.440
and so you can look forward to that.

683
00:33:55.440 --> 00:33:57.840
But this was a second date.

684
00:33:58.840 --> 00:34:02.160
So I'm super concerned about the level of that.

685
00:34:02.160 --> 00:34:04.360
So don't push sexual boundaries.

686
00:34:04.360 --> 00:34:06.840
If a woman says that, hey, you know,

687
00:34:06.840 --> 00:34:11.840
I don't kiss outside of committed relationship,

688
00:34:12.120 --> 00:34:13.540
don't go in for the kiss,

689
00:34:13.540 --> 00:34:15.480
don't think she's gonna change her mind.

690
00:34:15.480 --> 00:34:19.820
Once again, this doesn't get complained about a lot,

691
00:34:20.920 --> 00:34:24.460
but it's probably definitely in the top 10, top 15, okay?

692
00:34:25.360 --> 00:34:27.360
All right, what questions do you guys have for me

693
00:34:27.360 --> 00:34:28.760
on any of these things?

694
00:34:28.760 --> 00:34:32.440
Anything that you're like, hey, I was going out with a girl

695
00:34:32.440 --> 00:34:34.320
and she didn't go on the second date.

696
00:34:34.320 --> 00:34:35.560
What do you think I did wrong?

697
00:34:35.560 --> 00:34:36.920
This would be the forum for you

698
00:34:36.920 --> 00:34:38.520
to ask those types of questions.

699
00:34:46.480 --> 00:34:48.020
I'll chime in.

700
00:34:49.199 --> 00:34:50.040
Hi, Jackie.

701
00:34:50.040 --> 00:34:51.120
Hi.

702
00:34:51.120 --> 00:34:56.120
Hey, so I took notes here

703
00:34:57.600 --> 00:34:59.920
of everything that you said and I agree.

704
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:02.640
These are all very important things.

705
00:35:02.640 --> 00:35:06.120
I forget the Bible verse, but I mean, for me personally,

706
00:35:06.120 --> 00:35:11.120
when I, I usually commit to three dates.

707
00:35:12.920 --> 00:35:17.760
And the reason I do that is because I wanna see,

708
00:35:18.640 --> 00:35:20.440
and like I said, I forget the Bible verse,

709
00:35:20.440 --> 00:35:24.240
but it's about David and seeing the person's heart,

710
00:35:24.240 --> 00:35:25.480
if you will.

711
00:35:25.480 --> 00:35:26.600
I love that.

712
00:35:26.600 --> 00:35:28.560
So there are definitely some things

713
00:35:28.560 --> 00:35:33.560
on your list that I could see.

714
00:35:33.600 --> 00:35:38.440
Yeah, I mean, these are very, very important.

715
00:35:39.680 --> 00:35:42.620
But I have, I have had,

716
00:35:44.040 --> 00:35:47.880
I have been out with women who on the first

717
00:35:47.880 --> 00:35:52.880
and the second date, I'm like, this is gonna go nowhere.

718
00:35:52.880 --> 00:35:55.640
And then once I get to know them a little bit,

719
00:35:55.640 --> 00:35:57.800
I see the beauty inside of them.

720
00:35:58.760 --> 00:36:02.560
And I've also been out with some very attractive,

721
00:36:02.560 --> 00:36:06.040
smoking hot women who once I get to know them

722
00:36:06.040 --> 00:36:07.960
are not attractive at all.

723
00:36:11.100 --> 00:36:12.120
I can attest to that.

724
00:36:12.120 --> 00:36:12.960
That's true.

725
00:36:12.960 --> 00:36:16.600
I think that's true of everyone, for sure.

726
00:36:17.680 --> 00:36:19.920
And you guys, this is not about your level

727
00:36:19.920 --> 00:36:23.120
of attractiveness, like the number one thing,

728
00:36:23.120 --> 00:36:25.740
the hygiene thing, that's about your level

729
00:36:25.740 --> 00:36:27.580
of self-respect and self-care.

730
00:36:28.460 --> 00:36:31.140
You know, I think that men have been sold this lie

731
00:36:31.140 --> 00:36:33.420
that, you know, oh, we're guys, you know,

732
00:36:33.420 --> 00:36:34.820
we're just different, we're guys,

733
00:36:34.820 --> 00:36:38.140
we're not gonna be primping and pruning in the mirror.

734
00:36:38.140 --> 00:36:39.060
You know, we're just guys.

735
00:36:39.060 --> 00:36:42.700
We're gonna use a bar of Irish spring and that's it.

736
00:36:42.700 --> 00:36:45.580
You know, that's, no, nope.

737
00:36:46.460 --> 00:36:48.460
You know, taking care of yourself,

738
00:36:49.540 --> 00:36:51.360
hunting yourself well, that's not just about

739
00:36:51.360 --> 00:36:54.300
winning the girl, that's about you.

740
00:36:54.300 --> 00:36:57.620
That's about your self-respect and your self-esteem.

741
00:36:57.620 --> 00:37:00.060
And you may not have been taught that growing up.

742
00:37:01.060 --> 00:37:03.700
And just so you know, women respect that.

743
00:37:03.700 --> 00:37:06.420
They're not gonna see you as metrosexual or homosexual,

744
00:37:06.420 --> 00:37:08.060
it's like, oh, he's a pretty boy.

745
00:37:08.060 --> 00:37:10.900
No, women like a well-kept man.

746
00:37:10.900 --> 00:37:15.300
Now you can go overboard, you know?

747
00:37:15.300 --> 00:37:17.180
Like, I wanna be the only person painting

748
00:37:17.180 --> 00:37:19.860
the fingernails in the relationship.

749
00:37:19.860 --> 00:37:21.460
You can definitely go overboard.

750
00:37:22.300 --> 00:37:24.260
Some women may be into some stuff like that,

751
00:37:25.220 --> 00:37:27.300
but not a lot, not a lot of women.

752
00:37:28.580 --> 00:37:31.620
No matter what the internet says,

753
00:37:31.620 --> 00:37:33.580
women are not into men wearing dresses.

754
00:37:33.580 --> 00:37:35.220
We're not into men wearing makeup.

755
00:37:35.220 --> 00:37:37.340
We're not into men painting their nails.

756
00:37:37.340 --> 00:37:39.220
We're not into that, we're not.

757
00:37:39.220 --> 00:37:42.240
I know the internet says that women find that that's sexy

758
00:37:42.240 --> 00:37:43.820
and men can do that.

759
00:37:43.820 --> 00:37:46.300
No, you can't, all right?

760
00:37:47.220 --> 00:37:50.100
No, that's all propaganda, bros.

761
00:37:50.100 --> 00:37:51.780
That is, that's propaganda.

762
00:37:51.780 --> 00:37:56.140
Okay, all right, so thank you for that comment.

763
00:37:56.140 --> 00:37:58.620
Does anyone have any questions about,

764
00:37:59.820 --> 00:38:03.180
does anyone feel like you might've broken

765
00:38:03.180 --> 00:38:06.140
one of these rules, so to speak, these principles,

766
00:38:06.140 --> 00:38:07.780
and you didn't get the second or third date?

767
00:38:07.780 --> 00:38:09.660
Does anyone feel like, yeah,

768
00:38:09.660 --> 00:38:12.260
I wish I would've known this a year ago

769
00:38:12.260 --> 00:38:14.340
because I feel like I messed up,

770
00:38:14.340 --> 00:38:16.760
I made a bad first impression, anybody?

771
00:38:21.780 --> 00:38:26.780
Tim, if that's some kind of like trend in baseball,

772
00:38:28.940 --> 00:38:30.500
I know nothing about baseball,

773
00:38:30.500 --> 00:38:33.140
but I'm assuming that if that's a baseball thing,

774
00:38:33.140 --> 00:38:34.280
then probably.

775
00:38:36.460 --> 00:38:39.560
Catchers will do it so the pitcher can see the signals

776
00:38:39.560 --> 00:38:40.660
they're giving better.

777
00:38:41.700 --> 00:38:42.820
That makes sense.

778
00:38:43.820 --> 00:38:46.260
Yeah, I'm sure that's fine.

779
00:38:46.260 --> 00:38:48.300
And I'm sure if you play professional baseball,

780
00:38:48.300 --> 00:38:49.260
you're already in.

781
00:38:49.860 --> 00:38:54.860
But does anyone see anything that you need to improve on?

782
00:38:58.820 --> 00:38:59.740
You need to improve on.

783
00:38:59.740 --> 00:39:03.080
You're like, yeah, you know, I could do this better.

784
00:39:08.620 --> 00:39:10.980
I could ask more questions on a date.

785
00:39:10.980 --> 00:39:12.860
I can act more interested.

786
00:39:12.860 --> 00:39:16.880
I can put my best foot forward a little bit more.

787
00:39:17.880 --> 00:39:21.400
In my hygiene, in my oral hygiene.

788
00:39:23.920 --> 00:39:25.720
Floss, you guys would be amazed

789
00:39:25.720 --> 00:39:27.640
at how you can turn gum health around.

790
00:39:27.640 --> 00:39:31.800
Gum health can be turned around very quickly

791
00:39:32.700 --> 00:39:33.920
with regular flossing.

792
00:39:33.920 --> 00:39:37.000
Now you're gonna bleed for a while for sure,

793
00:39:37.000 --> 00:39:40.600
but in your special like mouthwash rinses you can get

794
00:39:40.600 --> 00:39:45.600
from the store that fight against plaque, gingivitis,

795
00:39:46.320 --> 00:39:50.200
bad breath, you know, that improve oral health.

796
00:39:50.200 --> 00:39:51.040
I love teeth.

797
00:39:51.040 --> 00:39:52.400
As you can see, I have great teeth.

798
00:39:52.400 --> 00:39:53.400
I love teeth.

799
00:39:55.840 --> 00:39:58.240
I had Invisalign because my teeth were a little crooked.

800
00:39:58.240 --> 00:40:00.480
I wanted to have perfect teeth because I love.

801
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:07.840
love teeth and I made David get Invisalign, too, because I wanted his teeth to be perfect,

802
00:40:07.840 --> 00:40:08.840
too.

803
00:40:08.840 --> 00:40:14.620
But not all women are that crazy about it, but not looking like you have things growing

804
00:40:14.620 --> 00:40:21.080
on your teeth, that's important.

805
00:40:21.080 --> 00:40:23.440
How would you guys rate your oral health?

806
00:40:23.440 --> 00:40:25.440
Put it in the chat.

807
00:40:25.440 --> 00:40:33.680
One being Jackie-level oral health, perfect gums, perfect teeth, and or zero being Yuck

808
00:40:33.680 --> 00:40:36.800
Mouth from the PBS special.

809
00:40:36.800 --> 00:40:40.640
Good, awesome.

810
00:40:40.640 --> 00:40:42.440
Got some sevens in here.

811
00:40:42.440 --> 00:40:45.440
I'll take it.

812
00:40:45.440 --> 00:40:55.240
All right, it's awesome, guys.

813
00:40:55.240 --> 00:41:03.320
That is a very, very big ick for women, so awesome.

814
00:41:03.320 --> 00:41:05.120
You guys are pretty quiet tonight.

815
00:41:05.120 --> 00:41:08.600
Jackie, can I ask a question?

816
00:41:08.600 --> 00:41:09.600
Yeah.

817
00:41:09.600 --> 00:41:12.280
Sorry, I'm at work, otherwise I'd be on camera.

818
00:41:12.280 --> 00:41:13.280
Oh, no, no.

819
00:41:13.280 --> 00:41:14.280
I was just looking to see who it was.

820
00:41:14.280 --> 00:41:15.280
Okay.

821
00:41:15.280 --> 00:41:16.280
Hey, Christopher, go ahead.

822
00:41:16.280 --> 00:41:17.280
Hi.

823
00:41:17.280 --> 00:41:20.440
So I'm about to jump in on my first long distance.

824
00:41:20.440 --> 00:41:23.880
She lives in San Luis Obispo, I live in the Sac area.

825
00:41:23.880 --> 00:41:26.040
I'm about to jump into my first long distance.

826
00:41:26.040 --> 00:41:30.000
Do you have any cautions, pro tips?

827
00:41:30.000 --> 00:41:34.480
Because I don't know, we're both a little bit, this is both our first attempt at trying

828
00:41:34.480 --> 00:41:38.120
something long distance, and we're both big hikers, so that would be great if we could

829
00:41:38.120 --> 00:41:42.480
actually do that together, but we're doing videos right now.

830
00:41:42.480 --> 00:41:43.520
Okay.

831
00:41:43.520 --> 00:41:44.800
And how long have you guys been talking?

832
00:41:44.800 --> 00:41:46.400
No, this is very fresh.

833
00:41:46.400 --> 00:41:50.000
We had one video date, and now we want to have a second, and I guess I'm just looking

834
00:41:50.000 --> 00:41:53.000
for some early warnings, you know?

835
00:41:53.120 --> 00:41:54.120
Okay.

836
00:41:54.120 --> 00:41:59.440
So we have, around here, we have some really strong principles around online, you know,

837
00:41:59.440 --> 00:42:04.120
online or distance dating, long distance dating.

838
00:42:04.120 --> 00:42:10.000
It tends to go a little faster than in person because we have to see if there's anything

839
00:42:10.000 --> 00:42:11.240
to really build on, right?

840
00:42:11.240 --> 00:42:12.740
We don't want to waste a lot of time.

841
00:42:12.740 --> 00:42:21.000
It's very easy to waste a lot of time getting to know someone that you actually don't know,

842
00:42:21.000 --> 00:42:24.440
and then when you get to be with them in person, you realize that everything that's

843
00:42:24.440 --> 00:42:26.980
been built is a fantasy.

844
00:42:26.980 --> 00:42:33.520
So getting in person as soon as possible and as often as possible is important.

845
00:42:33.520 --> 00:42:38.260
And then as far as in between those times that you can get in person, don't spend hours

846
00:42:38.260 --> 00:42:43.240
and hours and hours, like, falling emotionally in love over phone calls and different things

847
00:42:43.240 --> 00:42:44.820
like that.

848
00:42:44.820 --> 00:42:49.960
Keep your phone calls scheduled, you know, have dates, even virtually, like, you guys

849
00:42:49.960 --> 00:42:54.500
both love to hike, well, as long as you have service, you can hike together.

850
00:42:54.500 --> 00:42:58.220
She can go hiking where she goes, you can go hiking where you go, and you go on a hike

851
00:42:58.220 --> 00:42:59.220
together.

852
00:42:59.220 --> 00:43:04.420
And have a conversation that you would have if you were hiking together at one of those

853
00:43:04.420 --> 00:43:05.900
locations.

854
00:43:05.900 --> 00:43:13.540
So if you begin to build this rapport, so you said you live, she lives, you live in

855
00:43:13.540 --> 00:43:15.620
Sacramento and she lives where?

856
00:43:16.280 --> 00:43:19.280
San Luis Obispo.

857
00:43:19.280 --> 00:43:24.360
So that's not terribly far.

858
00:43:24.360 --> 00:43:25.360
How far?

859
00:43:25.360 --> 00:43:28.740
I mean, really, it's like three, four hours.

860
00:43:28.740 --> 00:43:29.740
It's not terrible.

861
00:43:29.740 --> 00:43:32.120
It's doable in a day.

862
00:43:32.120 --> 00:43:33.120
Okay.

863
00:43:33.120 --> 00:43:34.120
Perfect.

864
00:43:34.120 --> 00:43:37.600
So get in person as often as you can.

865
00:43:37.600 --> 00:43:40.520
And you know, you guys are having a second video date.

866
00:43:40.520 --> 00:43:43.880
I'd say the next date needs to be in person, wouldn't you, Renee?

867
00:43:43.880 --> 00:43:47.060
So after the second video date, if you guys are still vibing with each other, let's get

868
00:43:47.060 --> 00:43:48.060
in person.

869
00:43:48.060 --> 00:43:50.820
Even if you meet halfway.

870
00:43:50.820 --> 00:43:52.900
You can meet halfway.

871
00:43:52.900 --> 00:43:57.700
So if she trusts you, trust who you are, you guys can meet halfway, somewhere public, somewhere,

872
00:43:57.700 --> 00:44:01.940
you know, that's an hour and a half for both of you, no big deal at all.

873
00:44:01.940 --> 00:44:07.500
California's Californians drive an hour and a half, sometimes the grocery store.

874
00:44:07.500 --> 00:44:08.500
Okay.

875
00:44:08.500 --> 00:44:13.420
So because of traffic, and I know that you guys are more North and that's fine, but get

876
00:44:13.960 --> 00:44:14.960
together.

877
00:44:14.960 --> 00:44:18.960
And then if you like each other in person, you're still vibing in person, then all of

878
00:44:18.960 --> 00:44:22.940
the rules that we just talked about apply.

879
00:44:22.940 --> 00:44:28.160
Talking but not marathon talks, still having dates virtually, trying to get together in

880
00:44:28.160 --> 00:44:34.960
person at least, you know, once every two weeks at the minimum.

881
00:44:34.960 --> 00:44:37.560
Once every two weeks, meet halfway.

882
00:44:37.560 --> 00:44:42.480
And then if you're still vibing, then make sure you're going and meeting like her community,

883
00:44:42.540 --> 00:44:45.140
kind of seeing like how she lives life.

884
00:44:45.140 --> 00:44:48.220
One thing that you have to do right away, does this person have children?

885
00:44:48.220 --> 00:44:49.220
Do you have children?

886
00:44:49.220 --> 00:44:51.300
Either one of you ever been married?

887
00:44:51.300 --> 00:44:53.260
I'm widowed 10 years ago.

888
00:44:53.260 --> 00:44:54.700
I don't think she's been married.

889
00:44:54.700 --> 00:44:55.700
She has no kids.

890
00:44:55.700 --> 00:44:57.780
I have no kids.

891
00:44:57.780 --> 00:44:58.780
You're widowed.

892
00:44:58.780 --> 00:44:59.780
I'm sorry to hear that.

893
00:44:59.780 --> 00:45:00.100
But you have no children.

894
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:07.300
children and neither does she. Okay. So that, that's less complicated. And do you, if, if

895
00:45:07.300 --> 00:45:11.180
you guys really do start like, really like, Hey, I really like this person. I see this

896
00:45:11.180 --> 00:45:15.860
going somewhere. And you'll probably know within the first, you will probably know within

897
00:45:15.860 --> 00:45:22.660
the first 30 days, um, you have to ask the question of, Hey, if this worked out, who

898
00:45:22.660 --> 00:45:23.660
would move?

899
00:45:23.660 --> 00:45:24.660
Yeah.

900
00:45:24.660 --> 00:45:29.840
Because if neither one of you can move and neither one of you want to move and neither

901
00:45:29.840 --> 00:45:33.840
one of you feel like you should move, then it's over.

902
00:45:33.840 --> 00:45:42.200
Oh, she is out hunting and unsuccessfully. So maybe that's a sign, uh, in San Luis Obispo.

903
00:45:42.200 --> 00:45:46.480
So maybe, maybe that's a sign she needs to move to Miami. I'm kidding. Of course.

904
00:45:46.480 --> 00:45:50.600
Oh, okay. I got you. So she like lives in an apartment or whatever and she's house hunting,

905
00:45:50.600 --> 00:45:56.880
but so far she hasn't found anything. Yeah. I mean, you know, slow. I mean, do you have,

906
00:45:56.880 --> 00:46:01.360
what, what beef do you have with slow? It's a great place. I'd love to live there. Sacramento.

907
00:46:01.360 --> 00:46:03.520
Not so much, but that's just me.

908
00:46:03.520 --> 00:46:09.080
Uh, you know, I've got, I'm kind of established in my career. So, um, law enforcement's a

909
00:46:09.080 --> 00:46:13.560
little bit dicey trying to do background checks and move an agency. It's like a six month

910
00:46:13.560 --> 00:46:15.280
process. So not impossible.

911
00:46:15.280 --> 00:46:19.560
Oh, okay. It's not impossible, but it's very hard. And like you said, you're established

912
00:46:19.560 --> 00:46:25.760
and you probably have like a retirement or a pension or something and you have a house.

913
00:46:25.760 --> 00:46:30.560
So yeah, so you are more established. What about who's more established in community?

914
00:46:30.560 --> 00:46:38.000
Uh, she is, we both live near our parents. That's where we're, um, so that's good. Like

915
00:46:38.000 --> 00:46:43.520
family. We have a lot of family around us. Um, she's pretty fresh to her new job in the

916
00:46:43.520 --> 00:46:49.320
last couple of years. So yeah, I think, uh, I think we're about equal on that one.

917
00:46:49.320 --> 00:46:53.120
Okay. And, and, but the parents aren't that old yet. Parents are still living on their

918
00:46:53.120 --> 00:46:54.120
own, right?

919
00:46:54.120 --> 00:46:55.120
Oh yes, yes, yes.

920
00:46:55.480 --> 00:47:00.080
Okay. That's what I thought. So, and it's only three to four hours away, so I wouldn't

921
00:47:00.080 --> 00:47:04.400
even worry about that. And here's the thing with this kind of long distance, you don't

922
00:47:04.400 --> 00:47:09.040
have to figure out 10 years from now. You just have to look at the next two years, the

923
00:47:09.040 --> 00:47:13.800
next three or four years. You don't have to worry about 10 years from now. So much changes

924
00:47:13.800 --> 00:47:17.800
over the course of time. So it doesn't matter. Um, so it sounds like she would be needing

925
00:47:17.800 --> 00:47:23.520
to relocate for, to you for now, like for the next few years, if you guys decided to,

926
00:47:23.520 --> 00:47:27.400
you know, be a couple and get married. And that's the other thing that we recommend for

927
00:47:27.400 --> 00:47:32.440
long distance, that if you guys are really falling in love, one person has to, you know,

928
00:47:32.440 --> 00:47:37.080
do life in the other, you know, in the other person's community, meaning that they need

929
00:47:37.080 --> 00:47:42.960
to stay with family, have someone in your family, put them up for a month. Um, you know,

930
00:47:42.960 --> 00:47:46.840
it helps if they work remote, if someone works remote, otherwise we got to figure out what

931
00:47:46.840 --> 00:47:50.560
it's like to do life with each other day in and day out. We've had too many people, even

932
00:47:50.560 --> 00:47:55.920
though it's only three to four hour difference, too many people, you know, go and move somewhere

933
00:47:55.920 --> 00:48:01.160
to get married, have never lived in proximity to the other person, the entire courtship.

934
00:48:01.160 --> 00:48:04.720
Now they're getting married and now they feel like they're marrying a stranger because there

935
00:48:04.720 --> 00:48:10.040
was so much that they really didn't get to know about the person because long distance

936
00:48:10.040 --> 00:48:16.480
is long distance. Doesn't matter if it's two hours away or four hours away, it's long distance.

937
00:48:16.480 --> 00:48:21.680
And so spending a couple of weeks of PTO in each other's presence day in and day out

938
00:48:21.680 --> 00:48:27.320
tells you a lot. Going on a road trip together tells you a lot. I'm going on vacation together,

939
00:48:27.320 --> 00:48:32.020
separate rooms of course, tells you a lot. You know, you need to be spending enough proximity

940
00:48:32.020 --> 00:48:36.640
time to make sure that you really truly get along with this person and they are who you

941
00:48:36.640 --> 00:48:37.640
think they are.

942
00:48:37.640 --> 00:48:42.880
That's very helpful. I appreciate that. That's actually put some other stuff in perspective

943
00:48:42.880 --> 00:48:43.880
as well.

944
00:48:44.560 --> 00:48:50.360
I have no idea what that was. Okay. Can you think of anything else, Renee? You were long

945
00:48:50.360 --> 00:48:51.360
distance with Brian.

946
00:48:51.360 --> 00:48:59.000
I mean, I think to your point, getting together as often as possible, especially in the world

947
00:48:59.000 --> 00:49:04.240
where you think you're going to land. Like if she's coming to you, then once she feels

948
00:49:04.240 --> 00:49:08.120
safe with you, she needs to spend more time in your neck of the woods than you in hers

949
00:49:08.120 --> 00:49:13.480
because she needs to see you in the natural childlike. Where I've seen this go awry is

950
00:49:13.480 --> 00:49:17.840
where the guy went to the girl, which is great, right? Like we like that. Oh, but if

951
00:49:17.840 --> 00:49:23.600
she's the one that's going to have to relocate, she needs to see, can I live this lifestyle?

952
00:49:23.600 --> 00:49:27.240
Like is this the right environment and what are you like when you're around your family

953
00:49:27.240 --> 00:49:32.560
and friends? So that's the one thing I've actually been suggesting lately too. And Jackie's

954
00:49:32.560 --> 00:49:38.760
like, correct. You want to make sure that your phone and video time is limited. I don't

955
00:49:38.760 --> 00:49:46.800
know why I'm getting all frozen too. So that you don't go down the crazy train of creating

956
00:49:46.800 --> 00:49:51.000
a digital romance that gets ahead of the physical because then what happens when you see each

957
00:49:51.000 --> 00:49:56.240
other in person, the physical can become a runaway train and you want to make sure that

958
00:49:56.240 --> 00:50:00.040
you're kind of holding that steady.

959
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:02.200
Don't brush my teeth.

960
00:50:02.200 --> 00:50:04.000
Oh, yeah, that's bad.

961
00:50:04.000 --> 00:50:05.120
Sorry, I'm late.

962
00:50:05.120 --> 00:50:06.280
Definitely brush your teeth.

963
00:50:06.280 --> 00:50:08.240
But you also don't want to build a fantasy around

964
00:50:08.240 --> 00:50:10.880
not even just what this person looks like or smells like,

965
00:50:10.880 --> 00:50:13.320
but also like what they're like.

966
00:50:13.320 --> 00:50:15.560
We have a tendency to see what we want to see

967
00:50:15.560 --> 00:50:18.480
and hear what we want to hear when we're long distance.

968
00:50:18.480 --> 00:50:20.440
And so we got to be careful with that.

969
00:50:20.440 --> 00:50:23.000
All of you gentlemen, without exception,

970
00:50:23.000 --> 00:50:27.040
have had a idea of what a certain woman is like.

971
00:50:27.040 --> 00:50:28.640
And then as you got to know her better,

972
00:50:28.640 --> 00:50:30.960
that's not what she was like.

973
00:50:30.960 --> 00:50:33.200
Every one of you, whether it was a coworker,

974
00:50:33.200 --> 00:50:34.960
whether it was to the good or to the bad,

975
00:50:34.960 --> 00:50:37.680
like our friend said at the beginning here,

976
00:50:37.680 --> 00:50:38.960
he said, yeah, you know,

977
00:50:38.960 --> 00:50:41.720
I thought that this couldn't go anywhere, like Chris said.

978
00:50:41.720 --> 00:50:43.800
He said, but then I got to know them and I was like,

979
00:50:43.800 --> 00:50:47.040
oh, they're not like what I thought they were like.

980
00:50:47.040 --> 00:50:48.600
So think of when long distance,

981
00:50:48.600 --> 00:50:51.920
long distance just keeps us from finding that out

982
00:50:51.920 --> 00:50:54.000
for longer periods of time.

983
00:50:54.000 --> 00:50:55.440
When you're in proximity to someone,

984
00:50:55.440 --> 00:50:59.680
you find out really quickly what their real self is

985
00:50:59.680 --> 00:51:02.800
compared to what their ideal self is in your mind.

986
00:51:02.800 --> 00:51:05.160
But long distance, that fantasy kind of lives

987
00:51:05.160 --> 00:51:07.320
a lot longer than it should.

988
00:51:07.320 --> 00:51:10.200
And so it's important that, you know,

989
00:51:10.200 --> 00:51:14.480
that we pop that bubble as soon as possible, so to speak,

990
00:51:14.480 --> 00:51:17.240
because everybody can hide their crazy for a little while,

991
00:51:17.240 --> 00:51:18.960
but nobody can hide it forever.

992
00:51:19.480 --> 00:51:22.480
And if you really want to know what somebody's like,

993
00:51:22.480 --> 00:51:24.720
getting around their people is good

994
00:51:24.720 --> 00:51:27.120
because their people will call them out.

995
00:51:27.120 --> 00:51:30.040
Their people will tell you exactly what they're like.

996
00:51:30.040 --> 00:51:33.560
You know, I dated this one guy and when I met his family,

997
00:51:33.560 --> 00:51:36.480
they were just like, man, why are you with him?

998
00:51:36.480 --> 00:51:40.760
And I'm like, what, this is your brother.

999
00:51:40.760 --> 00:51:44.240
Yeah, you know, you know, he, you know,

1000
00:51:44.240 --> 00:51:46.200
he doesn't know what he's doing.

1001
00:51:46.960 --> 00:51:48.840
You know, he, you know, he,

1002
00:51:48.840 --> 00:51:50.040
he started saying bad things about him.

1003
00:51:50.040 --> 00:51:51.040
I don't even remember what it was

1004
00:51:51.040 --> 00:51:53.320
because it was so long ago, but it was just like,

1005
00:51:53.320 --> 00:51:56.160
you know, if your own family is throwing you under the bus,

1006
00:51:56.160 --> 00:51:59.040
it's probably not the best idea.

1007
00:51:59.040 --> 00:52:00.440
It's probably not the best thing.

1008
00:52:00.440 --> 00:52:02.320
Okay, and everything that they were saying about him

1009
00:52:02.320 --> 00:52:04.000
turned out to be true.

1010
00:52:04.000 --> 00:52:07.200
So, yikes, all right.

1011
00:52:07.200 --> 00:52:09.520
Okay, so we have a lot of Christopher's in here

1012
00:52:09.520 --> 00:52:11.320
for some reason and a lot of David's.

1013
00:52:11.320 --> 00:52:12.880
So we've got all kinds of stuff going on here.

1014
00:52:12.880 --> 00:52:17.880
So we have Chris, we have a couple of David's.

1015
00:52:18.320 --> 00:52:19.760
Hunter's got his hand up.

1016
00:52:21.160 --> 00:52:23.720
Hunter, what's your question?

1017
00:52:23.720 --> 00:52:25.640
Oh, it's just, I was going to show about,

1018
00:52:25.640 --> 00:52:28.200
I had a good, I had a blessed week weekend

1019
00:52:28.200 --> 00:52:31.840
because I did something with, I went to jujitsu

1020
00:52:31.840 --> 00:52:34.000
and I won some medals right here.

1021
00:52:34.000 --> 00:52:36.280
And I, I'm keeping my old one from,

1022
00:52:36.280 --> 00:52:39.280
from when, from my high school when I wrestled.

1023
00:52:39.280 --> 00:52:41.280
It was just a testimony of how I see things

1024
00:52:41.280 --> 00:52:43.080
about obtaining blessings.

1025
00:52:44.760 --> 00:52:46.440
That's, you know what?

1026
00:52:46.440 --> 00:52:50.240
I saw you take first in your competition.

1027
00:52:50.240 --> 00:52:51.520
Yeah. I saw you.

1028
00:52:51.520 --> 00:52:53.760
I saw your picture that you posted.

1029
00:52:53.760 --> 00:52:55.720
That's so awesome, Hunter.

1030
00:52:55.720 --> 00:52:56.960
I'm so proud of you.

1031
00:52:56.960 --> 00:52:58.040
Well, I know.

1032
00:52:58.040 --> 00:53:00.120
And- Wait, what sport is wrestling?

1033
00:53:00.120 --> 00:53:01.200
What is, what sport is it?

1034
00:53:01.200 --> 00:53:02.280
It's jujitsu.

1035
00:53:02.280 --> 00:53:03.360
I wrestled in high school,

1036
00:53:03.360 --> 00:53:06.680
so my wrestling background got me into the door.

1037
00:53:07.600 --> 00:53:09.720
Wow, I saw that.

1038
00:53:09.720 --> 00:53:10.560
I saw that.

1039
00:53:10.880 --> 00:53:12.080
You know what, Hunter?

1040
00:53:12.080 --> 00:53:14.920
You know, you need to put that picture on your dating app

1041
00:53:14.920 --> 00:53:16.160
because that's super sexy.

1042
00:53:16.160 --> 00:53:17.000
You're up there.

1043
00:53:17.000 --> 00:53:19.160
You're like number one and you got your,

1044
00:53:19.160 --> 00:53:23.040
you got your karate, jujitsu, whatever outfit on.

1045
00:53:23.040 --> 00:53:25.280
Yeah, and maybe I can defend some woman

1046
00:53:25.280 --> 00:53:26.960
when we're in danger.

1047
00:53:26.960 --> 00:53:28.800
See, women love that.

1048
00:53:28.800 --> 00:53:29.880
I know, I know.

1049
00:53:29.880 --> 00:53:31.400
And also another thing too,

1050
00:53:31.400 --> 00:53:33.040
it's just my approach has changed.

1051
00:53:33.040 --> 00:53:35.040
This is when I got in high school.

1052
00:53:35.040 --> 00:53:39.000
I had a goal and I, my goal was to get better and better.

1053
00:53:39.000 --> 00:53:42.160
And the only goal was to win a championship, but I lost.

1054
00:53:42.160 --> 00:53:43.480
So I had to settle for this.

1055
00:53:43.480 --> 00:53:45.520
And I noticed that, you know,

1056
00:53:45.520 --> 00:53:47.400
when you have that vibe in senior high school

1057
00:53:47.400 --> 00:53:50.280
that once you graduate high school, that that's it.

1058
00:53:50.280 --> 00:53:52.840
You can't, your career's done.

1059
00:53:52.840 --> 00:53:55.000
But then, and I figured, you know what?

1060
00:53:55.000 --> 00:53:57.360
I had this mindset where you got to grab,

1061
00:53:57.360 --> 00:53:58.600
make everything in the season.

1062
00:53:58.600 --> 00:53:59.840
The end goal thing,

1063
00:53:59.840 --> 00:54:01.600
so I have a kind of mindset to make it happen.

1064
00:54:01.600 --> 00:54:03.880
Like date somebody, you're this young,

1065
00:54:03.880 --> 00:54:05.720
you better have an aging rat race.

1066
00:54:05.720 --> 00:54:07.920
That's where I got all mixed up.

1067
00:54:07.920 --> 00:54:10.760
But usually the blessings don't really come like that.

1068
00:54:10.760 --> 00:54:12.200
God doesn't really have it.

1069
00:54:12.200 --> 00:54:13.760
I mean, he'll, he will at times,

1070
00:54:13.760 --> 00:54:16.240
wherever you have this goal and you want to accomplish it

1071
00:54:16.240 --> 00:54:17.400
in what you can.

1072
00:54:17.400 --> 00:54:21.160
But this time, this time I got these medals

1073
00:54:21.160 --> 00:54:23.080
and it's a different story.

1074
00:54:23.080 --> 00:54:24.560
I didn't come with the intention.

1075
00:54:24.560 --> 00:54:25.960
These were not the end goals.

1076
00:54:25.960 --> 00:54:28.320
The end goals was I was a little nervous

1077
00:54:28.320 --> 00:54:30.640
and I was a little nervous.

1078
00:54:30.640 --> 00:54:31.480
I was thinking, you know what?

1079
00:54:31.480 --> 00:54:33.280
I'm just going to go in and give it the best

1080
00:54:33.280 --> 00:54:34.800
and see what I learned.

1081
00:54:34.800 --> 00:54:37.920
Because me and my, one of my supporters and a coach

1082
00:54:37.920 --> 00:54:39.560
and my sensei were thinking, you know what?

1083
00:54:39.560 --> 00:54:40.720
Here's what we can do to win.

1084
00:54:40.720 --> 00:54:42.640
Rather than just focus on the podium,

1085
00:54:42.640 --> 00:54:45.680
focus on the win, what you can do to win.

1086
00:54:45.680 --> 00:54:48.120
And then, and then this became the bonus.

1087
00:54:50.760 --> 00:54:51.680
That's awesome.

1088
00:54:51.680 --> 00:54:53.920
That's such a great, that's such a great mindset.

1089
00:54:53.920 --> 00:54:55.120
That's such a great mentality.

1090
00:54:55.120 --> 00:54:56.200
I love that.

1091
00:54:56.200 --> 00:54:58.920
It's like this, I was thinking about

1092
00:54:58.920 --> 00:55:00.480
when I would go to the event.

1093
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:03.840
and Steph's trying to look for a woman and treat her as the end goal,

1094
00:55:03.840 --> 00:55:08.000
I would try to do this, these two things.

1095
00:55:08.000 --> 00:55:11.360
I got a chalkboard, I want to try this.

1096
00:55:11.360 --> 00:55:21.360
It's all about, like, go to the event and make a choice.

1097
00:55:21.360 --> 00:55:24.560
A door, an open door.

1098
00:55:24.560 --> 00:55:28.320
Open door that God has for you.

1099
00:55:28.320 --> 00:55:31.040
You want to go for it or not?

1100
00:55:31.040 --> 00:55:39.600
Number two is, have fun, but you're in control.

1101
00:55:39.600 --> 00:55:43.640
And then the final one is, bonus.

1102
00:55:46.680 --> 00:55:51.120
The idea is the open door is, it's an option for you.

1103
00:55:51.120 --> 00:55:52.960
You want to grow it, an option.

1104
00:55:52.960 --> 00:55:54.280
You want to grow in it or not.

1105
00:55:54.280 --> 00:55:56.640
It's available in the season.

1106
00:55:56.640 --> 00:56:04.760
Available season.

1107
00:56:04.760 --> 00:56:07.520
This one, have fun.

1108
00:56:07.520 --> 00:56:08.400
Stick to it.

1109
00:56:08.400 --> 00:56:10.400
All you can do, what you can control.

1110
00:56:14.760 --> 00:56:16.160
Yes, have fun.

1111
00:56:16.160 --> 00:56:16.660
Control.

1112
00:56:20.920 --> 00:56:22.280
That's all you can do?

1113
00:56:22.280 --> 00:56:24.240
And this bonus?

1114
00:56:24.280 --> 00:56:27.520
No guarantee.

1115
00:56:31.040 --> 00:56:33.160
No guarantee.

1116
00:56:33.160 --> 00:56:34.360
That's awesome, Hunter.

1117
00:56:34.360 --> 00:56:36.240
You've come such a long way.

1118
00:56:36.240 --> 00:56:37.360
I'm super proud of you.

1119
00:56:37.360 --> 00:56:38.760
That's great mentality.

1120
00:56:38.760 --> 00:56:41.440
I love that mantra for you in this season.

1121
00:56:41.440 --> 00:56:43.640
And so keep us posted.

1122
00:56:43.640 --> 00:56:45.240
You're having a lot of wins right now,

1123
00:56:45.240 --> 00:56:48.280
getting a lot of Ws right now in a lot of areas of your life.

1124
00:56:48.280 --> 00:56:49.960
And I just see it continuing.

1125
00:56:49.960 --> 00:56:52.840
And so, you know, guys, Hunter came to our program

1126
00:56:52.840 --> 00:56:53.960
a couple years ago.

1127
00:56:54.160 --> 00:56:57.440
He had a lot of Ls going on, a lot of losses.

1128
00:56:57.440 --> 00:56:58.520
He felt really confused.

1129
00:56:58.520 --> 00:56:59.360
He felt behind.

1130
00:56:59.360 --> 00:57:01.000
There were a lot of things happening.

1131
00:57:01.000 --> 00:57:01.840
He plugged in.

1132
00:57:01.840 --> 00:57:03.560
He locked in.

1133
00:57:03.560 --> 00:57:04.600
He did his hard work.

1134
00:57:04.600 --> 00:57:05.840
He continued to show up.

1135
00:57:05.840 --> 00:57:07.040
He continued to coach.

1136
00:57:07.040 --> 00:57:09.920
And he just has come a whole long way.

1137
00:57:09.920 --> 00:57:12.520
And so I just want to let you guys know that, you know,

1138
00:57:12.520 --> 00:57:14.920
you're probably meeting him, some of you, for the first time.

1139
00:57:14.920 --> 00:57:21.480
But Hunter is definitely one of our prize and star pupils

1140
00:57:21.480 --> 00:57:24.920
here because he just, he's got a lot of heart

1141
00:57:24.920 --> 00:57:25.960
and he works hard.

1142
00:57:25.960 --> 00:57:27.800
So appreciate you, Hunter.

1143
00:57:27.800 --> 00:57:29.800
Your girl is coming.

1144
00:57:29.800 --> 00:57:32.840
The woman that appreciates your work is coming.

1145
00:57:32.840 --> 00:57:34.920
I'm moving out of my apartment too.

1146
00:57:34.920 --> 00:57:37.600
Tomorrow I'm going to make a decision on the options.

1147
00:57:37.600 --> 00:57:40.480
I even go in and apply for apartments

1148
00:57:40.480 --> 00:57:42.720
because my lease is up this next coming month.

1149
00:57:42.720 --> 00:57:44.840
I'm going to move to a fair apartment.

1150
00:57:44.840 --> 00:57:45.680
All right.

1151
00:57:45.680 --> 00:57:47.280
Well, we'll be helping you pray over that

1152
00:57:47.280 --> 00:57:49.560
and see what that looks like for you in this new season.

1153
00:57:49.560 --> 00:57:50.720
What do you got, Blake?

1154
00:57:52.480 --> 00:57:53.280
Yeah.

1155
00:57:53.280 --> 00:57:56.160
So I'm fairly new to this program.

1156
00:57:56.160 --> 00:57:57.960
I, you know, installed a dating app

1157
00:57:57.960 --> 00:58:01.280
for the first time in my life, like a couple of weeks ago.

1158
00:58:01.280 --> 00:58:03.400
And I don't know, all the bad stuff

1159
00:58:03.400 --> 00:58:05.440
people have said about them is pretty much true,

1160
00:58:05.440 --> 00:58:08.120
I found, even looking at eHarmony, which

1161
00:58:08.120 --> 00:58:11.560
Brian Cooper recommended.

1162
00:58:11.560 --> 00:58:13.640
Yeah, I guess I don't even know, like,

1163
00:58:13.640 --> 00:58:17.560
how to get to that first stage where, like, women actually

1164
00:58:17.560 --> 00:58:19.360
will, like, reply back to messages

1165
00:58:19.360 --> 00:58:21.880
and, like, have a conversation.

1166
00:58:21.880 --> 00:58:24.400
Like, everyone just seems to be lurking.

1167
00:58:24.400 --> 00:58:26.800
Well, first of all, what we can do, so are you,

1168
00:58:26.800 --> 00:58:28.000
did you choose eHarmony?

1169
00:58:28.000 --> 00:58:30.480
Is that where you are?

1170
00:58:30.480 --> 00:58:32.440
Current, I mean, that's the first one I installed.

1171
00:58:32.440 --> 00:58:36.200
I paid whatever it was, like $360 for the membership

1172
00:58:36.200 --> 00:58:37.240
for those.

1173
00:58:37.240 --> 00:58:40.720
Yeah, those ones are, those are, those are curated.

1174
00:58:40.720 --> 00:58:42.840
They're definitely more expensive.

1175
00:58:42.840 --> 00:58:44.840
I don't know if they're better than others,

1176
00:58:44.840 --> 00:58:46.160
like Match and eHarmony.

1177
00:58:46.160 --> 00:58:48.640
Those were the ones that, they cost a pretty penny

1178
00:58:48.640 --> 00:58:50.240
at the beginning.

1179
00:58:50.240 --> 00:58:54.040
And, you know, you have to, I don't know if any of you guys

1180
00:58:54.040 --> 00:58:56.280
took Modern Dating Sucks book club by,

1181
00:58:56.280 --> 00:58:59.840
I know that Dan did, but I don't know if anyone else took it.

1182
00:58:59.840 --> 00:59:01.560
But, you know, we really talk about, you know,

1183
00:59:01.560 --> 00:59:04.840
not using the apps, letting the apps use you,

1184
00:59:04.840 --> 00:59:07.320
not letting them use you, but using the apps

1185
00:59:07.320 --> 00:59:08.640
and what that looks like.

1186
00:59:08.640 --> 00:59:10.840
So we can, if you guys want, you know,

1187
00:59:10.840 --> 00:59:13.800
you have a Facebook page and you also have the app,

1188
00:59:13.800 --> 00:59:14.800
the group on the app.

1189
00:59:14.800 --> 00:59:16.360
I recommend the Facebook page.

1190
00:59:16.360 --> 00:59:18.440
If you guys didn't join the bonus Facebook page,

1191
00:59:18.440 --> 00:59:23.440
make sure you do, because that is where you can easier,

1192
00:59:23.560 --> 00:59:25.880
it would be more, it would be easier for you

1193
00:59:25.880 --> 00:59:30.880
or more beneficial for us if you post your screenshots

1194
00:59:31.680 --> 00:59:33.520
of your dating app there.

1195
00:59:33.520 --> 00:59:37.560
But we will give you feedback on your dating app profiles.

1196
00:59:37.560 --> 00:59:40.120
So if anyone has any dating app profile

1197
00:59:40.120 --> 00:59:41.320
that you want us to take a look at,

1198
00:59:41.320 --> 00:59:43.880
because, you know, Blake, you're a good looking guy,

1199
00:59:43.880 --> 00:59:45.760
you know, it looks like you, you know,

1200
00:59:45.760 --> 00:59:47.720
got yourself together.

1201
00:59:47.720 --> 00:59:49.160
I don't know you that well yet,

1202
00:59:49.160 --> 00:59:50.640
so I don't know what your story is,

1203
00:59:50.640 --> 00:59:52.040
but there isn't any reason why.

1204
00:59:52.040 --> 00:59:53.240
So this isn't me stuck together,

1205
00:59:53.240 --> 00:59:56.480
like I haven't shaved in like months, so.

1206
00:59:56.480 --> 00:59:58.240
Oh, well, I mean, but you don't look,

1207
00:59:58.240 --> 00:59:59.440
you don't look scraggly.

1208
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:06.440
Here's the thing all of you gentlemen should be getting should be getting dates

1209
01:00:14.760 --> 01:00:16.760
Blake where do you live?

1210
01:00:17.000 --> 01:00:19.000
Well, I'm outside of Knoxville

1211
01:00:19.520 --> 01:00:21.520
Tennessee Knox Knoxville

1212
01:00:21.880 --> 01:00:23.360
Yeah

1213
01:00:23.360 --> 01:00:25.200
Tennessee

1214
01:00:25.200 --> 01:00:28.160
Okay. Yeah. Okay. So once again

1215
01:00:29.040 --> 01:00:31.040
As long as you're a large population

1216
01:00:31.440 --> 01:00:39.080
Yeah, it's a large population. You're not in Timbuktu, you know, sometimes people are geographically challenged. That is not a geographic challenge

1217
01:00:39.080 --> 01:00:44.440
Okay, so all of you should be going on dates. There isn't any man here's that shouldn't be going on dates

1218
01:00:45.240 --> 01:00:48.960
Getting women to respond on dating apps that has to do with you know

1219
01:00:50.120 --> 01:00:52.200
Who you're matching with what you're saying?

1220
01:00:52.200 --> 01:00:58.140
Like what you're opening with gentlemen all of you should be initiating all of you should be initiating that didn't you know?

1221
01:00:58.260 --> 01:01:01.540
That I would make it to my top 15 list. That would be an honorable mention

1222
01:01:02.540 --> 01:01:06.260
Initiation women complain all the time that men do not initiate

1223
01:01:06.780 --> 01:01:09.860
They want you to initiate they want to feel feminine

1224
01:01:09.860 --> 01:01:15.380
They do not want to feel like they are in charge or that they are leading the relationship or that they are trying to

1225
01:01:15.980 --> 01:01:17.660
woo you

1226
01:01:17.660 --> 01:01:21.380
All right, they want to be wooed. That's what women want

1227
01:01:22.180 --> 01:01:25.060
They want to feel like you are interested in them

1228
01:01:25.580 --> 01:01:31.620
Not just them interested in you. And so let us see your dating profile. Let us see the pictures that you posted

1229
01:01:31.620 --> 01:01:33.620
Let us see the things you're saying about yourself

1230
01:01:34.380 --> 01:01:39.460
Basically, let us see what you're baiting the hook with if you're fishing out there in the sea of fishes

1231
01:01:39.460 --> 01:01:41.460
Let's see what you're baiting your hook with

1232
01:01:42.060 --> 01:01:44.060
Some of you probably need

1233
01:01:44.380 --> 01:01:48.380
Some feedback on that. I have seen some terrible male

1234
01:01:49.380 --> 01:01:51.380
You

1235
01:01:54.100 --> 01:01:58.580
The pictures especially the angles of the pictures, I don't know why men want to take a picture like this

1236
01:01:58.580 --> 01:02:00.700
This is not it. Don't do that. Okay

1237
01:02:01.340 --> 01:02:03.340
We don't want to see up here

1238
01:02:04.340 --> 01:02:07.380
Don't want to see you know, whatever's going on down here

1239
01:02:07.380 --> 01:02:12.220
You don't want to have it at least at eye level or a little above eye level if you're gonna do a selfie

1240
01:02:12.940 --> 01:02:15.180
No sunglasses, no mean muggin

1241
01:02:15.700 --> 01:02:17.140
smile

1242
01:02:17.140 --> 01:02:19.140
Even if you don't smile with your teeth smile

1243
01:02:19.300 --> 01:02:23.380
You got a smile gentlemen women are already kind of intimidated by men

1244
01:02:23.380 --> 01:02:29.060
and so if you're not smiling it's even more intimidating if you have sunglasses on and you have on a

1245
01:02:29.500 --> 01:02:35.940
Ball cap and you have on a mean mug. Guess what? We don't want to talk to you

1246
01:02:37.660 --> 01:02:43.140
At best you're in the witness protection program and at worst you're a thug so we don't want any of that

1247
01:02:43.140 --> 01:02:44.740
We want you to be smiling

1248
01:02:44.740 --> 01:02:47.060
We want to see your eyes the eyes are the window to the soul

1249
01:02:47.060 --> 01:02:51.340
If you wear glasses you guys the best makeover that you can give yourself

1250
01:02:51.340 --> 01:02:55.280
If you are someone who wears glasses like has to wear glasses and right now

1251
01:02:55.280 --> 01:02:57.660
I only see one guy on here that has glasses on

1252
01:02:58.260 --> 01:03:01.300
It's just to make sure that your glasses look good on you

1253
01:03:01.940 --> 01:03:07.860
To make sure that they are flattering to you Chris. I think you're like your glasses look pretty good

1254
01:03:07.860 --> 01:03:09.860
Are they just readers or do you need them for distance?

1255
01:03:13.780 --> 01:03:15.780
We can't hear you because you're muted

1256
01:03:20.500 --> 01:03:22.500
They're just for reading

1257
01:03:23.780 --> 01:03:26.340
They're just reading okay, so you don't have to wear glasses

1258
01:03:27.220 --> 01:03:31.940
Which is good. I do have to wear glasses. So I make sure that my glasses are cute on me

1259
01:03:32.500 --> 01:03:34.500
A glasses makeover is big

1260
01:03:35.140 --> 01:03:40.580
Gentlemen, so no sunglasses eyes in the picture smiling. You don't have to smile with your teeth, but you do need to smile

1261
01:03:40.580 --> 01:03:44.980
And make sure that it's a flattering angle for those pictures. Okay

1262
01:03:46.500 --> 01:03:48.500
Yes

1263
01:03:48.500 --> 01:03:50.020
But we will give you feedback

1264
01:03:50.020 --> 01:03:54.740
So if you'd like to Chris or Blake if you'd like to post that stuff in the Facebook page

1265
01:03:55.540 --> 01:04:00.980
Like whatever's on eHarmony that you put there give us screenshots of it. We can give you some

1266
01:04:01.700 --> 01:04:05.860
We could give you some feedback now gentlemen. What did you say when you matched with a lady?

1267
01:04:05.860 --> 01:04:08.500
Now gentlemen, what did you say when you matched with a lady?

1268
01:04:09.700 --> 01:04:11.620
on a dating app

1269
01:04:11.620 --> 01:04:16.020
The very first thing that you should do is you should say hi to her

1270
01:04:17.060 --> 01:04:18.500
Thank her

1271
01:04:18.500 --> 01:04:20.820
For swiping on you or matching with you

1272
01:04:21.460 --> 01:04:25.380
And then you should ask her a question about something that you saw on her dating profile

1273
01:04:25.460 --> 01:04:28.740
Why is that because we want to know that you didn't just look at our picture

1274
01:04:29.300 --> 01:04:31.300
and you're trying to

1275
01:04:31.300 --> 01:04:33.880
Find someone to have some kind of sexual

1276
01:04:34.660 --> 01:04:36.520
Experience with

1277
01:04:36.520 --> 01:04:43.720
We know as women that 70 percent of the swipes that men do on dating apps have to do with

1278
01:04:44.280 --> 01:04:46.280
you know them trying to

1279
01:04:46.760 --> 01:04:49.080
Find a woman who is just good to go

1280
01:04:49.720 --> 01:04:53.000
I know none of you gentlemen would do that. But you know what women don't know that

1281
01:04:53.800 --> 01:04:57.260
They just know all the other creeps that are on dating websites

1282
01:04:58.600 --> 01:05:00.600
dating apps

1283
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:06.480
So, ask her a thoughtful question about something that you saw on her profile.

1284
01:05:06.480 --> 01:05:12.160
I see that you love your dog, you know, bingo, golden retrievers are awesome.

1285
01:05:12.160 --> 01:05:14.840
I used to have one growing up.

1286
01:05:14.840 --> 01:05:17.360
I see that you like to sail.

1287
01:05:17.360 --> 01:05:20.440
I've never been sailing before, you know, how long have you been doing it?

1288
01:05:20.440 --> 01:05:23.320
You know, ask her a thoughtful question.

1289
01:05:23.320 --> 01:05:26.520
That is how you start the conversation, okay?

1290
01:05:26.520 --> 01:05:31.440
Not what's your favorite color, not anything like that, something about whatever you read

1291
01:05:31.440 --> 01:05:33.960
on her dating profile.

1292
01:05:33.960 --> 01:05:41.080
And then when she answers, you know, don't ask her a million questions like the Inquisition,

1293
01:05:41.080 --> 01:05:42.080
start a conversation.

1294
01:05:42.080 --> 01:05:49.720
She answers, hopefully she'll ask you a question back, you respond, and then within three conversations,

1295
01:05:49.720 --> 01:05:50.720
you guys.

1296
01:05:50.720 --> 01:05:55.440
So, say you start chatting with her at 9 p.m. on a Monday night.

1297
01:05:55.440 --> 01:05:58.080
She's like, okay, it's been great chatting, I gotta go to bed, I gotta go to work.

1298
01:05:58.080 --> 01:06:00.160
Be like, okay, have a great day.

1299
01:06:00.160 --> 01:06:04.000
And then the next day, maybe after work, you, because you know she's gotta go to work, right?

1300
01:06:04.000 --> 01:06:07.080
So, don't try to chatter up at work.

1301
01:06:07.080 --> 01:06:12.760
The next day, you pop in that conversation and say, hey, hope you had a great day.

1302
01:06:12.760 --> 01:06:17.080
You know, looking forward to talking, was looking forward to talking to you again today.

1303
01:06:17.080 --> 01:06:24.600
You know, how about a phone call or, you know, I see that you live, you know, in, you know,

1304
01:06:24.600 --> 01:06:28.200
in the borough next to mine, you're in New York City, would you, you know, would you

1305
01:06:28.200 --> 01:06:30.520
be free to meet up this Saturday for a cup of coffee?

1306
01:06:30.520 --> 01:06:33.920
You know, I'd like to, I'd like to meet you in person.

1307
01:06:33.920 --> 01:06:37.840
First of all, gentlemen, if she is a mature and marriage-minded woman, she's not gonna

1308
01:06:37.840 --> 01:06:41.120
insist you take her to dinner on the first date.

1309
01:06:41.120 --> 01:06:44.680
We do want the first date to cost money.

1310
01:06:44.680 --> 01:06:49.060
It doesn't have to cost a lot of money, but it does need to cost money.

1311
01:06:49.060 --> 01:06:52.480
If you try to get us to do something free the very first time that we see you, like

1312
01:06:52.480 --> 01:06:56.440
go on a walk in the park with you, first of all, we don't want to go anywhere secluded

1313
01:06:56.440 --> 01:06:57.440
with you.

1314
01:06:57.440 --> 01:06:58.440
We don't know you.

1315
01:06:58.440 --> 01:07:02.280
We met you on a dating app and you're a stranger, but we want it to cost money because we want

1316
01:07:02.280 --> 01:07:04.200
to see that you're not cheap.

1317
01:07:04.200 --> 01:07:07.000
It doesn't have to be a steak dinner, but it should be lunch.

1318
01:07:07.000 --> 01:07:09.960
It should be a sandwich, a cup of coffee.

1319
01:07:09.960 --> 01:07:15.480
It should be something that costs money and then you need to pay for it.

1320
01:07:15.480 --> 01:07:18.560
Don't be sitting at the table already bought your coffee when she walks in the door.

1321
01:07:18.560 --> 01:07:21.160
No, you need to pay for it because here's the thing.

1322
01:07:21.160 --> 01:07:25.120
If you're not willing to invest 20 bucks in getting to know a woman, then you don't

1323
01:07:25.120 --> 01:07:26.720
belong in the dating pool.

1324
01:07:26.720 --> 01:07:32.680
And number two, if you don't have 20 bucks, then you don't belong in the dating pool.

1325
01:07:32.680 --> 01:07:34.260
Those two things are true.

1326
01:07:34.260 --> 01:07:38.480
If you don't have $20 to spend on lunch, then you shouldn't be dating because you need to

1327
01:07:38.480 --> 01:07:40.360
go figure out your finances.

1328
01:07:40.360 --> 01:07:45.840
And if you don't want to spend $20 on a woman to get to know her, then you don't belong

1329
01:07:45.840 --> 01:07:51.480
dating because you have the wrong mindset when it comes to women and what they want

1330
01:07:51.480 --> 01:07:53.240
and what they're looking for.

1331
01:07:53.240 --> 01:07:54.720
So both of those things can be true.

1332
01:07:54.720 --> 01:07:59.800
Renee, I'm going to let you go ahead and take over because I've got a jet.

1333
01:07:59.800 --> 01:08:01.320
So guys, it's been fun talking to you.

1334
01:08:01.320 --> 01:08:02.600
I appreciate you.

1335
01:08:02.600 --> 01:08:07.040
Make sure that your questions are short, brief and powerful because we only have about 15

1336
01:08:07.040 --> 01:08:08.040
minutes.

1337
01:08:08.040 --> 01:08:10.480
Thanks for the cheer, Jackie.

1338
01:08:10.480 --> 01:08:12.680
Hey guys, can you hear me?

1339
01:08:12.680 --> 01:08:19.399
For some reason, I am cutting in and out, but as long as you can hear me, okay, great.

1340
01:08:19.399 --> 01:08:24.120
David, you have your hand raised.

1341
01:08:24.120 --> 01:08:25.800
You mean to still have your hand raised?

1342
01:08:25.800 --> 01:08:26.800
Yeah.

1343
01:08:26.800 --> 01:08:27.800
Can you hear me?

1344
01:08:27.800 --> 01:08:28.800
I can.

1345
01:08:28.800 --> 01:08:32.120
I'm not really in a good mood.

1346
01:08:32.120 --> 01:08:33.120
I'm sorry.

1347
01:08:33.120 --> 01:08:37.680
I'm trying to focus on this, but I got banned from Catholic match today.

1348
01:08:37.680 --> 01:08:42.640
So I just got an email while this meeting was going on saying,

1349
01:08:43.600 --> 01:08:50.040
I'm not trying to be a Debbie Downer here, but this is pretty like tough to they're not

1350
01:08:50.040 --> 01:08:51.840
it's something in their security system.

1351
01:08:51.840 --> 01:08:53.240
They're not able to share with me.

1352
01:08:53.240 --> 01:08:57.840
Unfortunately, I made a, I did something wrong on Saturday during their live meeting.

1353
01:08:57.840 --> 01:09:03.960
I started complaining about my situation with the Catholic church and I don't know if that's

1354
01:09:03.960 --> 01:09:10.319
has anything to do with it, but it's not funny.

1355
01:09:10.319 --> 01:09:13.359
It's not funny because I'm really depressed about it.

1356
01:09:13.359 --> 01:09:14.359
Yeah.

1357
01:09:14.359 --> 01:09:15.359
Well, here's the thing.

1358
01:09:15.359 --> 01:09:19.240
I can tell you a lot of Catholic women in our, there's a lot of, there's a handful of

1359
01:09:19.240 --> 01:09:26.680
Catholic in our community who also find, I read, I ran into a lot of Catholic guys on

1360
01:09:26.680 --> 01:09:29.680
hinge and bumble and Facebook.

1361
01:09:29.680 --> 01:09:34.279
So it, I'm sorry that that happened to you.

1362
01:09:34.279 --> 01:09:38.080
I really feel bad about that, but don't let it count you out.

1363
01:09:38.080 --> 01:09:39.080
She said, hi David.

1364
01:09:39.080 --> 01:09:42.920
Unfortunately, we cannot disclose details related to our security system and this decision

1365
01:09:42.920 --> 01:09:43.920
is final.

1366
01:09:43.920 --> 01:09:48.160
So I feel like I have to get a lawyer to fight this, but it's just going to push them away

1367
01:09:48.160 --> 01:09:49.399
even more.

1368
01:09:49.399 --> 01:09:55.720
And it's only the biggest Catholic dating site that I got banned from.

1369
01:09:55.720 --> 01:09:57.120
It's like, now what am I supposed to do?

1370
01:09:57.120 --> 01:09:59.960
I can't date women locally that are Catholic because of.

1371
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:01.400
my situation with the diocese.

1372
01:10:01.400 --> 01:10:03.360
So I don't understand.

1373
01:10:03.360 --> 01:10:05.040
What is what is your situation

1374
01:10:05.040 --> 01:10:06.040
with the diocese?

1375
01:10:07.720 --> 01:10:08.840
I don't want to get into it.

1376
01:10:08.840 --> 01:10:10.200
I don't want y'all to ban me, I'm

1377
01:10:10.200 --> 01:10:11.160
not going to I don't want to get

1378
01:10:11.160 --> 01:10:12.400
into it. I don't trust people.

1379
01:10:12.400 --> 01:10:13.400
It's like, OK,

1380
01:10:14.520 --> 01:10:16.240
all I can say is there

1381
01:10:16.240 --> 01:10:17.960
are a lot of Catholic people

1382
01:10:17.960 --> 01:10:19.480
on the other apps.

1383
01:10:19.920 --> 01:10:20.920
So,

1384
01:10:22.240 --> 01:10:23.640
in fact, I actually think it's

1385
01:10:23.640 --> 01:10:25.720
easier for you to weed out there

1386
01:10:26.160 --> 01:10:28.240
because you can pick Catholic.

1387
01:10:28.240 --> 01:10:29.820
Otherwise, all the rest of the

1388
01:10:29.820 --> 01:10:31.460
Protestants and non denominations

1389
01:10:31.460 --> 01:10:33.380
all get lumped in one big pile.

1390
01:10:33.620 --> 01:10:34.620
Yeah.

1391
01:10:35.620 --> 01:10:36.820
I don't know, I just can't believe

1392
01:10:36.820 --> 01:10:38.580
like a website or service can

1393
01:10:38.580 --> 01:10:40.900
be so cruel as to like do a lifetime

1394
01:10:40.900 --> 01:10:43.060
ban with like no appeal process.

1395
01:10:43.060 --> 01:10:44.980
No, I mean,

1396
01:10:44.980 --> 01:10:46.780
believe it or not, people are

1397
01:10:46.780 --> 01:10:47.900
those kind of those aren't like

1398
01:10:47.900 --> 01:10:48.900
Christian people.

1399
01:10:49.260 --> 01:10:50.740
You don't do that to people.

1400
01:10:50.940 --> 01:10:52.980
We've had girls get

1401
01:10:52.980 --> 01:10:54.860
accidentally banned from Facebook

1402
01:10:54.860 --> 01:10:56.860
dating because they

1403
01:10:56.860 --> 01:10:58.420
couldn't verify them or something

1404
01:10:58.420 --> 01:10:59.220
like that.

1405
01:10:59.300 --> 01:11:01.100
Yeah, there was like no appeals

1406
01:11:01.100 --> 01:11:01.820
process.

1407
01:11:01.820 --> 01:11:03.620
So I'm really sorry

1408
01:11:03.620 --> 01:11:04.620
that happened.

1409
01:11:04.860 --> 01:11:05.860
I really am.

1410
01:11:06.460 --> 01:11:07.460
David Shaw.

1411
01:11:07.820 --> 01:11:09.540
OK, you guys, am I wrong

1412
01:11:09.540 --> 01:11:10.740
about this? Is the

1413
01:11:12.100 --> 01:11:13.100
Facebook page.

1414
01:11:13.220 --> 01:11:15.500
I know the groups got taken away

1415
01:11:15.700 --> 01:11:17.500
like the group chats got taken away

1416
01:11:17.500 --> 01:11:18.340
on Facebook.

1417
01:11:18.340 --> 01:11:20.140
But I think the 1822

1418
01:11:20.140 --> 01:11:21.940
regular main page still exists

1419
01:11:21.940 --> 01:11:23.100
for the guys, does it not?

1420
01:11:23.700 --> 01:11:24.820
Do you guys all know?

1421
01:11:24.820 --> 01:11:25.940
Let me check right now.

1422
01:11:27.500 --> 01:11:29.060
I'm not on it, but I can make

1423
01:11:29.060 --> 01:11:30.940
sure that

1424
01:11:31.300 --> 01:11:33.220
Cheryl gets me access to

1425
01:11:33.220 --> 01:11:34.140
it, because that would be the

1426
01:11:34.140 --> 01:11:35.700
easiest place for me to check your

1427
01:11:35.700 --> 01:11:37.020
profiles for you.

1428
01:11:38.300 --> 01:11:39.100
Oh, that was going to be my

1429
01:11:39.100 --> 01:11:40.220
question, Renee, how do we do

1430
01:11:40.220 --> 01:11:41.220
that?

1431
01:11:41.380 --> 01:11:42.620
Well, I well, what I put in the

1432
01:11:42.620 --> 01:11:44.820
post was like the women

1433
01:11:44.820 --> 01:11:46.300
have a Facebook page called

1434
01:11:46.300 --> 01:11:47.700
Blaster Single Community.

1435
01:11:47.940 --> 01:11:49.780
And there used to be one for

1436
01:11:49.780 --> 01:11:50.780
the guys.

1437
01:11:51.020 --> 01:11:52.500
And I know that it's not very

1438
01:11:52.500 --> 01:11:53.500
active.

1439
01:11:53.700 --> 01:11:55.340
Yeah, you guys don't use it very

1440
01:11:55.340 --> 01:11:56.820
much, but that would be the fastest

1441
01:11:56.820 --> 01:11:57.820
way. So.

1442
01:11:59.500 --> 01:12:01.260
Hey, guys. OK, so I'm back for

1443
01:12:01.260 --> 01:12:02.260
just a second.

1444
01:12:02.860 --> 01:12:04.660
The men do have you have a

1445
01:12:04.700 --> 01:12:05.900
group on your app for all you

1446
01:12:05.900 --> 01:12:06.780
newbies.

1447
01:12:06.780 --> 01:12:08.420
And you also have a bonus Facebook

1448
01:12:08.420 --> 01:12:09.420
page.

1449
01:12:09.500 --> 01:12:10.260
It's still active.

1450
01:12:10.260 --> 01:12:12.100
It's very active in the fact that

1451
01:12:12.100 --> 01:12:13.900
we have coaches and peer coaches

1452
01:12:13.900 --> 01:12:15.180
that answer your questions, give

1453
01:12:15.180 --> 01:12:16.340
you feedback, coach you.

1454
01:12:16.660 --> 01:12:18.420
You guys just aren't active on

1455
01:12:18.420 --> 01:12:20.220
it. So we're active in

1456
01:12:20.220 --> 01:12:21.100
monitoring it.

1457
01:12:21.100 --> 01:12:22.420
You're not active in asking

1458
01:12:22.420 --> 01:12:23.420
questions on it.

1459
01:12:23.460 --> 01:12:25.140
You're not active in, you know,

1460
01:12:25.140 --> 01:12:26.500
asking for coaching on it.

1461
01:12:26.860 --> 01:12:28.100
So I know a lot of people hate

1462
01:12:28.100 --> 01:12:29.340
Facebook. You can also do that in

1463
01:12:29.340 --> 01:12:30.060
your app group.

1464
01:12:30.060 --> 01:12:30.820
You don't have to do it on

1465
01:12:30.820 --> 01:12:32.100
Facebook. You can ask questions

1466
01:12:32.100 --> 01:12:32.740
there.

1467
01:12:32.740 --> 01:12:34.180
There are coaches willing and

1468
01:12:34.180 --> 01:12:35.580
ready to answer your questions.

1469
01:12:35.620 --> 01:12:36.820
OK, so

1470
01:12:38.100 --> 01:12:40.180
if you need a link to

1471
01:12:40.180 --> 01:12:41.540
the if you guys need a link to the

1472
01:12:41.540 --> 01:12:43.060
bonus Facebook group, I'll go ahead

1473
01:12:43.060 --> 01:12:44.380
and put it in the app group, the

1474
01:12:44.380 --> 01:12:45.740
men only app group, so that you

1475
01:12:45.740 --> 01:12:46.740
know how to get there.

1476
01:12:47.580 --> 01:12:48.580
Perfect. Thank you.

1477
01:12:52.020 --> 01:12:53.020
Is that the 1822

1478
01:12:53.820 --> 01:12:54.820
challenge?

1479
01:12:54.900 --> 01:12:56.220
It's not the challenge group.

1480
01:12:56.220 --> 01:12:57.540
Chris, thanks for asking.

1481
01:12:57.660 --> 01:12:59.660
That it's just the 1822

1482
01:12:59.660 --> 01:13:01.140
group for men on Facebook.

1483
01:13:01.140 --> 01:13:02.740
It just says men's it just says

1484
01:13:02.740 --> 01:13:03.860
men's group. It's not the

1485
01:13:03.860 --> 01:13:05.380
challenge. There is a challenge

1486
01:13:05.380 --> 01:13:06.620
page. You're right, but it's not

1487
01:13:06.620 --> 01:13:07.620
that one.

1488
01:13:09.300 --> 01:13:11.260
It's named 1822 men's

1489
01:13:11.260 --> 01:13:12.260
monthly.

1490
01:13:12.700 --> 01:13:13.820
Thank you, Tim.

1491
01:13:13.820 --> 01:13:15.580
Yes. And you guys, 1822, of

1492
01:13:15.580 --> 01:13:17.860
course, stands for Proverbs 1822.

1493
01:13:17.900 --> 01:13:19.220
If you guys don't know the history

1494
01:13:19.220 --> 01:13:20.980
of the men's program for last

1495
01:13:20.980 --> 01:13:22.660
year's single, it started out as

1496
01:13:22.660 --> 01:13:24.340
a challenge for men based on that

1497
01:13:24.340 --> 01:13:25.940
scripture, Proverbs 1822.

1498
01:13:25.980 --> 01:13:27.220
When a man finds a wife, he finds a

1499
01:13:27.220 --> 01:13:28.020
good thing.

1500
01:13:28.020 --> 01:13:30.100
And it just took off from

1501
01:13:30.100 --> 01:13:32.020
there. We never intended to have a

1502
01:13:32.020 --> 01:13:33.900
men's program, but it

1503
01:13:33.900 --> 01:13:34.780
took off from there.

1504
01:13:34.780 --> 01:13:35.860
And like I said, we have almost a

1505
01:13:35.860 --> 01:13:37.220
hundred percent success rate with

1506
01:13:37.220 --> 01:13:38.180
our guys.

1507
01:13:38.180 --> 01:13:40.260
And so if you lock in, if

1508
01:13:40.260 --> 01:13:41.420
you get healthy about what you're

1509
01:13:41.420 --> 01:13:42.820
looking for and get clear about

1510
01:13:42.820 --> 01:13:43.820
what you're looking for, I

1511
01:13:45.700 --> 01:13:47.420
mean, maybe not 2026, but

1512
01:13:47.820 --> 01:13:49.180
the next 12 months will be your

1513
01:13:49.180 --> 01:13:50.420
last 12 months single.

1514
01:13:51.420 --> 01:13:52.420
All right.

1515
01:13:52.420 --> 01:13:54.220
Can we go ahead and move on

1516
01:13:54.460 --> 01:13:55.460
to a guy?

1517
01:13:55.660 --> 01:13:57.660
See, Chris has his hand to Chris.

1518
01:13:57.660 --> 01:13:58.500
Chris has his hand up.

1519
01:13:58.500 --> 01:14:00.500
Hunter, we'll we'll

1520
01:14:00.500 --> 01:14:02.140
come back, bro, if you if we have

1521
01:14:02.140 --> 01:14:03.580
time. But we want to let other

1522
01:14:03.580 --> 01:14:04.580
people get questions.

1523
01:14:04.580 --> 01:14:05.580
And does anyone else have any

1524
01:14:05.580 --> 01:14:07.620
questions for Renee or me?

1525
01:14:08.900 --> 01:14:10.460
Chris, did you have another question

1526
01:14:10.500 --> 01:14:11.500
or I'm sorry?

1527
01:14:12.100 --> 01:14:13.100
Yeah.

1528
01:14:13.980 --> 01:14:15.220
No, you just answered it.

1529
01:14:15.220 --> 01:14:16.220
Men's program.

1530
01:14:16.260 --> 01:14:17.260
Men's program.

1531
01:14:17.260 --> 01:14:18.260
Yeah.

1532
01:14:18.260 --> 01:14:20.220
I mean, it's it's it's it's

1533
01:14:20.220 --> 01:14:21.060
men's monthly.

1534
01:14:21.060 --> 01:14:22.060
Thank you.

1535
01:14:22.060 --> 01:14:23.060
Yeah.

1536
01:14:25.460 --> 01:14:27.500
Tim just dropped the link in the

1537
01:14:27.500 --> 01:14:28.860
chat because he's awesome.

1538
01:14:29.300 --> 01:14:30.300
So thank you, Tim.

1539
01:14:30.820 --> 01:14:32.260
Tim, I'm liking the facial hair.

1540
01:14:32.260 --> 01:14:33.260
You're looking good, bro.

1541
01:14:34.300 --> 01:14:36.380
Thanks. I just haven't had time

1542
01:14:36.380 --> 01:14:37.660
to shave for like five days.

1543
01:14:38.140 --> 01:14:39.540
I know. But it just makes you look,

1544
01:14:39.940 --> 01:14:41.140
I don't know, older.

1545
01:14:41.500 --> 01:14:43.420
He's got that singer songwriter

1546
01:14:43.420 --> 01:14:45.260
kind of broody vibe going on.

1547
01:14:45.300 --> 01:14:46.420
Right. Yeah. There you go.

1548
01:14:47.020 --> 01:14:47.980
Yeah.

1549
01:14:47.980 --> 01:14:49.260
I mean, if you want, we could do a

1550
01:14:49.260 --> 01:14:50.100
split test.

1551
01:14:50.100 --> 01:14:51.980
We can show a picture of you without

1552
01:14:51.980 --> 01:14:53.260
it and a picture of you with it and

1553
01:14:53.260 --> 01:14:55.020
have women vote on what version of

1554
01:14:55.020 --> 01:14:56.020
Tim they like better.

1555
01:14:56.300 --> 01:14:57.820
I mean, I do have photos with and

1556
01:14:57.820 --> 01:14:58.820
without the beard.

1557
01:14:59.660 --> 01:15:00.660
Yeah.

1558
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:02.640
Guys, like I said, women do like facial hair.

1559
01:15:02.640 --> 01:15:04.800
They do like a more rugged man sometimes,

1560
01:15:04.800 --> 01:15:07.600
as long as you guys keep your facial hair trimmed

1561
01:15:07.600 --> 01:15:10.200
and, you know, manscaped is the best word

1562
01:15:10.200 --> 01:15:11.800
that I have for it.

1563
01:15:11.800 --> 01:15:14.160
One of my friends spent a lot of effort

1564
01:15:14.160 --> 01:15:16.540
trying to talk me out of shaving back in May.

1565
01:15:18.040 --> 01:15:19.440
Well, is it a girl?

1566
01:15:19.440 --> 01:15:20.280
Yeah.

1567
01:15:20.280 --> 01:15:22.160
Oh, well, listen to her.

1568
01:15:22.160 --> 01:15:23.000
There you go.

1569
01:15:24.960 --> 01:15:26.880
You guys, I know that it's wrong,

1570
01:15:26.880 --> 01:15:29.640
but most women have an idea.

1571
01:15:29.640 --> 01:15:30.760
I know it's wrong.

1572
01:15:30.760 --> 01:15:32.120
I want to preface that.

1573
01:15:32.120 --> 01:15:34.820
But a lot of women want to be with a guy

1574
01:15:34.820 --> 01:15:38.120
that they know, you know, could maybe be bad

1575
01:15:38.120 --> 01:15:39.720
if he wanted to, but he's not.

1576
01:15:39.720 --> 01:15:42.680
He's gonna be good because he loves God.

1577
01:15:42.680 --> 01:15:46.320
Because he loves God and he loves her.

1578
01:15:46.320 --> 01:15:48.320
But, you know, we like masculine men.

1579
01:15:48.320 --> 01:15:53.320
We like men who, you know, are powerful and kind.

1580
01:15:53.800 --> 01:15:55.120
Those two things together.

1581
01:15:55.120 --> 01:15:58.300
Okay, does anyone else have anything?

1582
01:15:59.800 --> 01:16:01.320
Guys, we only have about 10 minutes left.

1583
01:16:01.320 --> 01:16:03.200
I want to make sure that other guys get to talk.

1584
01:16:03.200 --> 01:16:04.880
David and Hunter both have their hands up,

1585
01:16:04.880 --> 01:16:06.360
but they both have already asked a question.

1586
01:16:06.360 --> 01:16:08.060
So does anyone else have anything?

1587
01:16:15.520 --> 01:16:17.400
Okay, David Henshaw, what you got?

1588
01:16:20.960 --> 01:16:22.440
I'm just wondering what's the best way

1589
01:16:22.440 --> 01:16:25.560
to update our profile in the app?

1590
01:16:25.560 --> 01:16:27.760
Is the Spirit Beach still active

1591
01:16:27.760 --> 01:16:28.760
or is that being cut off

1592
01:16:28.880 --> 01:16:29.720
and there's a new way to submit it?

1593
01:16:29.720 --> 01:16:32.360
It's not, listen, it's not necessarily active

1594
01:16:32.360 --> 01:16:33.960
in the way that you can talk to each other,

1595
01:16:33.960 --> 01:16:35.680
but that's right about to change.

1596
01:16:35.680 --> 01:16:38.000
So don't do anything with your profile yet

1597
01:16:38.000 --> 01:16:39.620
because we're gonna be giving instructions

1598
01:16:39.620 --> 01:16:42.760
to everyone on what you guys need to do.

1599
01:16:42.760 --> 01:16:44.860
So I need serious updating.

1600
01:16:44.860 --> 01:16:48.360
It's like kind of outdated and I need to, you know,

1601
01:16:48.360 --> 01:16:50.960
it needs work is basically the bottom line, yeah.

1602
01:16:50.960 --> 01:16:53.080
That's fine, but no one's gonna see it

1603
01:16:53.080 --> 01:16:55.160
and we're gonna tell the whole community

1604
01:16:55.160 --> 01:16:56.400
what we want you guys to do

1605
01:16:56.440 --> 01:16:58.960
and everyone's gonna do it at the same time.

1606
01:16:58.960 --> 01:17:00.640
Okay, thank you, I appreciate that.

1607
01:17:00.640 --> 01:17:02.240
And then just a quick side note,

1608
01:17:02.240 --> 01:17:04.600
as far as like profile pictures and all that,

1609
01:17:05.480 --> 01:17:07.680
obviously it's best to have the best pictures

1610
01:17:07.680 --> 01:17:08.760
that are the most recent,

1611
01:17:08.760 --> 01:17:10.800
but like once you get near the one year mark,

1612
01:17:10.800 --> 01:17:13.520
I mean, you should definitely update it.

1613
01:17:13.520 --> 01:17:16.320
Like this little picture I have on my thing right now

1614
01:17:16.320 --> 01:17:20.040
on Zoom is almost a year old, so yeah.

1615
01:17:20.040 --> 01:17:22.040
You know, guys, my rule of thumb for pictures

1616
01:17:22.040 --> 01:17:23.840
are if you still look that way,

1617
01:17:23.840 --> 01:17:26.920
I mean, like really objectively look the same way,

1618
01:17:26.920 --> 01:17:28.720
you know, then that's fine.

1619
01:17:28.720 --> 01:17:31.200
If you've changed your hair, if you've gained weight,

1620
01:17:31.200 --> 01:17:33.840
if you've lost weight, if you got glasses,

1621
01:17:33.840 --> 01:17:36.120
if you have a different haircut, you know,

1622
01:17:36.120 --> 01:17:39.760
different hair color, that's when you want to,

1623
01:17:39.760 --> 01:17:42.880
you know, change your profile picture for sure, for sure.

1624
01:17:42.880 --> 01:17:45.000
But yeah, great, new pictures are great,

1625
01:17:45.000 --> 01:17:47.800
but not everyone has good pictures that they have to share.

1626
01:17:47.800 --> 01:17:50.080
So if you have a good picture and you still look like that,

1627
01:17:50.080 --> 01:17:51.120
you can roll with it.

1628
01:17:54.040 --> 01:17:54.880
Great, thank you.

1629
01:17:57.000 --> 01:17:58.840
All right, you guys, I had a couple discovery calls

1630
01:17:58.840 --> 01:18:01.360
with some guys, including David I was just talking to.

1631
01:18:01.360 --> 01:18:03.480
I did a discovery call with him.

1632
01:18:03.480 --> 01:18:06.440
I had another discovery call with another really great guy

1633
01:18:07.440 --> 01:18:09.000
that's new in the program.

1634
01:18:09.000 --> 01:18:13.160
And so if you have not had a 15 minute with the team yet,

1635
01:18:13.160 --> 01:18:15.440
maybe not necessarily me, but the team,

1636
01:18:15.440 --> 01:18:17.760
you can email admin at JackieDorman.com.

1637
01:18:17.760 --> 01:18:20.800
We can get you into a 15 minute.

1638
01:18:20.800 --> 01:18:22.760
That's just for us to check in with you,

1639
01:18:22.760 --> 01:18:24.680
ask any questions that we have about you,

1640
01:18:24.680 --> 01:18:28.160
kind of see where you are as far as relationship ready.

1641
01:18:29.440 --> 01:18:31.640
As you know, are you ready to date?

1642
01:18:31.640 --> 01:18:33.960
Have you done, have you gotten through the heart work?

1643
01:18:33.960 --> 01:18:36.200
And that's when you want to just do your discovery call

1644
01:18:36.200 --> 01:18:38.120
is when you've done the heart work course

1645
01:18:38.120 --> 01:18:40.480
that is in your course materials on the app.

1646
01:18:40.480 --> 01:18:42.400
When you get through those four weeks,

1647
01:18:43.820 --> 01:18:44.840
after you do that,

1648
01:18:44.840 --> 01:18:46.560
that's when you want to have the discovery call

1649
01:18:46.560 --> 01:18:50.640
because that is when you have the ability to be spotlighted.

1650
01:18:50.640 --> 01:18:53.920
That's when you have the ability to possibly be matched

1651
01:18:53.920 --> 01:18:57.760
with someone in the database or more than one person.

1652
01:18:57.760 --> 01:19:01.120
We do promote introductions here

1653
01:19:01.120 --> 01:19:02.720
if we think that you're ready for that.

1654
01:19:02.720 --> 01:19:04.480
And that's kind of what that 15 minute is for,

1655
01:19:04.480 --> 01:19:06.720
is for you to tell us what you think about your readiness

1656
01:19:06.720 --> 01:19:08.360
and for us to kind of give you feedback

1657
01:19:08.360 --> 01:19:11.720
about what we think about your readiness.

1658
01:19:11.720 --> 01:19:15.340
And you guys, we've had all of our introductions

1659
01:19:15.340 --> 01:19:17.360
and all of our spotlights on hold

1660
01:19:17.360 --> 01:19:20.280
because we've been revamping our entire program

1661
01:19:20.920 --> 01:19:23.480
behind the scenes, which is where I'm headed right now

1662
01:19:23.480 --> 01:19:26.920
to finish up those recordings.

1663
01:19:26.920 --> 01:19:30.080
But hopefully that's going to be completely done

1664
01:19:30.080 --> 01:19:33.640
and everything will be back up and rolling by mid September.

1665
01:19:33.640 --> 01:19:35.480
So we're hoping for that.

1666
01:19:36.440 --> 01:19:37.840
Renee, you're hot right now.

1667
01:19:38.840 --> 01:19:40.080
Sorry about that.

1668
01:19:40.080 --> 01:19:40.920
It's okay.

1669
01:19:40.920 --> 01:19:41.760
All right.

1670
01:19:42.840 --> 01:19:44.960
Okay, if nobody else has any questions,

1671
01:19:44.960 --> 01:19:46.940
I think we'll go ahead and sign off.

1672
01:19:50.280 --> 01:19:51.840
I see that, you know, Hunter and David,

1673
01:19:51.840 --> 01:19:53.160
if you guys have something to say,

1674
01:19:53.160 --> 01:19:55.280
let's make it short, brief and powerful.

1675
01:19:55.280 --> 01:19:56.640
Okay.

1676
01:19:56.640 --> 01:19:57.840
Appreciate the whiteboard, Hunter,

1677
01:19:57.840 --> 01:20:00.040
but we don't have time for anything more.

1678
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:04.160
Extensive. Okay. What do you got? Well, you said we should be on dates by now

1679
01:20:04.160 --> 01:20:10.300
Well, I thought the same thing I was talking to these women in church that I'm level one or level two

1680
01:20:10.300 --> 01:20:14.080
I don't think we're getting close to we're not even further into level two at all

1681
01:20:14.280 --> 01:20:20.120
but but I think I was saying in church they came that where I sat and then we're

1682
01:20:20.520 --> 01:20:26.440
Going in and I chat with one of them, but and and are you on any dating apps at all?

1683
01:20:26.440 --> 01:20:30.240
I was on holy but then I stopped chatting because I figured you know

1684
01:20:30.240 --> 01:20:35.960
This isn't this isn't going anywhere and I didn't get a lot of matches. I got a lot of I got a lot of

1685
01:20:37.240 --> 01:20:41.840
Swipes two women's like me and then I got one that matched and then I was like, you know

1686
01:20:41.840 --> 01:20:43.880
I'm gonna just drop the hatch on this

1687
01:20:44.760 --> 01:20:46.520
Okay. All right

1688
01:20:46.520 --> 01:20:52.440
Why don't you do you have time to take the book club? Did you already I did the book called remember? Okay

1689
01:20:52.440 --> 01:20:57.320
Yeah, I thought so but I didn't I didn't hear what I didn't hear what happened after that

1690
01:20:57.320 --> 01:21:02.480
So that's what you're giving me an update on is that you just are still I mean you can't just you know

1691
01:21:02.480 --> 01:21:03.600
The girls that go to your church

1692
01:21:03.600 --> 01:21:10.400
You've already kind of you we've got to figure out some other places for you to meet people. So let's dig into that

1693
01:21:10.400 --> 01:21:14.920
Okay. All right, can because well, I know some people but

1694
01:21:15.520 --> 01:21:20.760
but at the same time I can't I was gonna try to people and the women are program because they

1695
01:21:21.040 --> 01:21:26.400
Yeah, we're we are spotlighting you so I will tell you if that brings anything in good

1696
01:21:27.040 --> 01:21:30.480
Okay. Thank you. And then David. What do you got? I

1697
01:21:31.480 --> 01:21:36.000
Think I've already asked you this Jackie, but can I do that? I didn't know you're doing another book club

1698
01:21:36.000 --> 01:21:38.000
Can I do it again since I didn't really?

1699
01:21:38.480 --> 01:21:42.800
Finish it the first time or plus I can get maybe into the bonus Facebook group

1700
01:21:43.720 --> 01:21:45.360
okay, the

1701
01:21:45.360 --> 01:21:51.680
The men's bonus Facebook group. Yeah, you can get into that. I the book club is it starts tomorrow. It's done, right?

1702
01:21:52.360 --> 01:21:59.160
Yeah, so the book club the last book club of 2026 you guys is starting tomorrow night and

1703
01:21:59.880 --> 01:22:01.520
it is

1704
01:22:01.520 --> 01:22:03.920
It's closed. So registration is closed on it

1705
01:22:06.480 --> 01:22:12.200
In the past I've asked Reagan she's let me join a few weeks in late in the past I think last year

1706
01:22:13.120 --> 01:22:18.160
Yeah, I don't I don't think that joining the book club again is gonna be what you need to do

1707
01:22:18.720 --> 01:22:23.560
But getting in that bonus men's group. I think that that that definitely would be an

1708
01:22:24.320 --> 01:22:26.320
Okay move for you

1709
01:22:28.040 --> 01:22:30.320
All right, you guys well we appreciate all of you

1710
01:22:30.320 --> 01:22:33.160
Thank you so much for showing up for men's only once again

1711
01:22:33.160 --> 01:22:40.040
Second and fourth Mondays of the month and then there's great stuff on the calendar all the other weeks as well that are co-ed

1712
01:22:40.160 --> 01:22:43.320
Guys show up you have your camera on, you know

1713
01:22:43.320 --> 01:22:45.280
Have your name in the you know

1714
01:22:45.280 --> 01:22:51.160
In the zoom window let people know who you are people email in all the time asking about some person that they saw

1715
01:22:51.360 --> 01:22:55.880
On a zoom meeting and so you never know who's watching or who's gonna see you

1716
01:22:55.880 --> 01:22:59.800
All right, we do appreciate that and we'll see you soon. Bye everyone