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Hey everyone, happy Monday.

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Welcome to another HeartWork live session.

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So glad to be here with you all tonight.

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For anyone that is new, this is your first time here at any of our live sessions.

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We'd love for you to put that in the chat for us so we can welcome you.

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For all of my ladies back again, welcome back.

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So good to see all of you tonight.

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Karen Perlis, I saw your activation in the chat this week.

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Love it.

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I'm sure some of you are working on yours as well.

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I was in there trying to look real quick.

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I saw a couple other people, I just didn't see everybody's name.

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So way to go on those of you that have been working on your activations from last week.

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I know several of you said that as you did that process, how healing it was.

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But also sometimes in the beginning, it felt a little like uncomfortable or unsure.

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And I just want you to know if you feel any of those things working on any of our activations,

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that's actually very normal.

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And so if you'll just kind of lean into even that uncomfortable feeling and ask the Lord

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like, why do I feel uncomfortable about this, that he will start revealing stuff even about

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that and then don't give up and push away from it instead lean into it and keep moving.

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And trusting the Lord in that process is going to be really important.

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If you've never met me before, my name is Bethany Cooper.

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I'm one of the Master Heart Work coaches here in this community.

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So glad to be a part of this community.

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I am one of the success stories here.

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And so I was a student before I became a coach and have been able to just come alongside

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of so many people over these last five and a half years.

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And it's just been so incredible to see how much breakthrough people are getting.

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Because typically most people, the spirit made is just the cherry on top.

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There's so many other areas of their lives that God is wanting to heal and restore and

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redeem to rebuild all the broken, fallen places of our lives.

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And so we're going to talk about that a little bit tonight in a couple different ways.

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Before I do that, I have a couple housekeeping things for you.

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Just as a friendly reminder, if you did not know, if you are a helper, if you are a counselor,

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if you are an advisor, you are a leader in ministry and life, you get to take all of those hats off here.

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You're a parent who loves to parent other people, all of those things.

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You don't have to do any of that in this group.

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You get to just be here to receive.

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And so kind of what I'm mentioning is like, I want to encourage you all to resist the

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urge to help someone else in this group, get their heart work and healing, because we have

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coaches that do that.

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So your goal here is to connect and become sisters, to become friends, to cheer each

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other on, to get revelation from someone else's processing and breakthrough.

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That is the only thing that you have to do while you're here in this heart work course

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and journey.

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And so really important because a lot of times if you all don't know, just like on an airplane,

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you know, they tell you to put your oxygen mask on yourself first before you even do

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it for your kids.

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Why?

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Well, because if you don't do it for yourself, then you're not going to even be able to do

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it for your kid.

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And so a lot of us, what happens, especially if we are really like our helper gift is overextended,

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we don't know how to turn that off, a lot of us.

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And so what happens is we just keep getting distracted by helping everybody else.

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And we're missing an opportunity to hear what God is trying to say to us.

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And so really want to encourage you all to resist the urge to help others.

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Not even in this, like only in this group, some of you, like you have people like showing

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up left and right calling, they have all this drama going on, and you're their go to person.

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And you know, in the past, that might have felt really good, whether you admitted it

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or not.

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But you don't need to be their go to person in this season, because you need to take care

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of you.

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Okay?

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So it's really, really important.

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I've been coaching several people recently where one of their biggest pitfalls, and I've

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been through this too, so I know how hard it is to shift out of it, is to actually not

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feel guilty for taking care of themselves for setting boundaries that are healthy and

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important for them to move forward in their life, so that so that they can get out of

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the broken cycle that they've been living in.

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And so that's the case for some of you.

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You know, you're trying to get out of the stuck place you've been in, you're trying

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to get out of the cycle that you keep going through.

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And one of the only ways you can do that is to literally dial it all the way in, and really

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lean into what is God trying to do in you?

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Not everybody else.

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Not that old boyfriend who's like, all of a sudden got a revelation.

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Well, he can have his revelation.

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in a couple more weeks, okay?

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Because right now it's about you, okay?

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So stay in the game, stay on the course,

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one foot in front of the other,

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and you guys will make it through, I promise.

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Just don't give up, because it's kind of like the diamonds.

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When they were digging for the diamonds,

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sometimes people give up

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right before they're about to hit them.

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I want you all to stay in until you receive them,

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because God has so many things in store for you.

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All right, one of the other things

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is invest in self-care on this journey.

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Super important as well.

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You're processing a lot, whether you realize it or not.

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When we process trauma and brokenness from the past,

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our body is processing toxins,

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and we wanna get that stuff out of our bodies.

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So extra rest, drinking plenty of water,

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eating whole foods, healthy stuff, move your body.

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Even if you don't feel like it,

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some of you all are gonna need to push through,

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especially if you feel overwhelmed, get out.

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Even if it's for 10 minutes and go for a walk,

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connect in nature, really kind of recenter yourself,

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and then you'll see that it will make a huge difference.

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For some of you, you might even need to do a detox tea,

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and even consider an Epsom salt bath,

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depending on how much in-depth stuff God has you processing

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and walking through in your healing journey.

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All right, last one I have as housekeeping

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is Supernatural Saturday from this past Saturday.

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Things that haven't worked will work again.

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Such a great word, and so I encourage you all

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to check that out in the replay tab.

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Let me pray for us,

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and we'll dive into the content for tonight.

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Father, thank you so much for everything that you're doing.

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God, I thank you that you know the beginning and the end.

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God, I thank you that you are creating our latter years

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to be greater than our former years.

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God, I thank you that you cover every pit

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that the enemy has set for our destruction,

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and you help us to leap over those instead.

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God, I thank you that you sent Jesus to die for us,

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to shed his blood for our freedom,

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for our victory, for our healing,

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and I thank you, Jesus,

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that you're sitting at the right hand of the Father,

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interceding for us right now,

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that every woman here would recognize your presence,

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even those watching the replay,

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that they would experience your love in a fresh way.

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God, we ask you to place the balm of Gilead

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upon every broken area, every fallen place, God,

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that you would lift it up,

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that you would lift the veil of deception off of our eyes,

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off of our hearts,

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help us to hear clearly what your spirit is saying,

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louder than any voice of the enemy,

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that you would help us to come out of agreement with lies

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that have held us back for years.

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God, help us to recognize those lies

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quicker than we have before,

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and we just thank you, Holy Spirit, for being here,

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for having your way in our lives,

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for weaving in and out of our conversations,

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and that you're bringing revelation and truth from heaven

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here on earth tonight, in Jesus' name, amen.

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We're gonna talk briefly about Candice.

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You guys will, if you haven't heard it yet,

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you'll hear this story in Jackie's teachings,

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in the coursework,

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but I wanna touch on it briefly tonight,

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because Candice, if you haven't heard it yet,

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kind of the short version,

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and again, this won't ruin it,

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because it's just more in-depth than this

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when Jackie talks about it,

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but Candice is someone that God was talking to Jackie about.

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Jackie did not know who Candice was,

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but God basically said to Jackie,

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Candice is gonna be there, and she needs healing,

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and there was this conferences going on,

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and events, and all these things.

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Well, all day long,

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Jackie did not know who God was talking about.

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She did not know who Candice was,

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and then it just so happens that,

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I don't know if it was that same day,

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or the next day, she ended up finding out who Candice was.

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Candice was someone who ended up filling in

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at the last minute,

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because the one speaker got sick, or something happened,

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and she couldn't come to be the speaker for the event,

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so Candice filled in at the last minute.

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Well, Candice needed healing,

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and there's a whole healing story,

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and redemptive work that happened there,

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but the point of the reason I'm even bringing it up tonight

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is that a lot of us believe that God has forgotten us.

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We believe that we're not seen.

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We believe we're not valued.

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We believe that God breaks promises to us,

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and God wants to help us shift out of those places,

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and spaces, and our hearts, and our minds,

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and our spirits tonight,

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and so I just want you just where you're at,

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just to declare over yourself,

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I just come out of agreement with the lie, God,

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that you break promises to me,

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because he's a man that he would not lie.

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Like, he doesn't lie.

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And so Lord, I pray that you would just give them

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an upgrade in their revelation of who you are

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as a good father,

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that you come through.

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And while sometimes we experience delay, it's not denial.

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We just thank you God for revelation and love to enter in tonight in Jesus name.

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And so I want you all to really lean into this because I feel like that even that pause

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was a little different than even how I normally step into this teaching.

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Super important for you just to constantly be aware of, even as we're talking about content,

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where do you feel yourself resisting?

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Where do you feel like, oh, I don't believe that, or, you know, where you're recognizing

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how these lies have entered in.

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A lot of times, you know, we base our understanding of God on how people have treated us.

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And so if people in our lives have broken promises to us, and if we have broken promises

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to ourselves, for example, we say that we're not going to have sex outside of marriage,

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and then we do.

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That's breaking a promise with ourselves.

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We say, even little promises, we say, I do this sometimes, I'm going to get up and go

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walking tomorrow, and then I don't do it.

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Those are little promises, but you know what, over time they add up, don't they?

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They do.

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And so I want you to remember tonight that God knows what you need, God knows where you

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are, and He knows how to get you what you need.

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And for some of you, it's been a long time since you believed that God not only cared

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about your needs, but He also cares about your wants.

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I want to encourage you all, I know I've been sharing, for those of you that have been here

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for a few weeks, we were experiencing some delays in our foster licensing process, did

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not understand what was happening, the enemy was really trying to war against that, someone

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who is an atheist got our paperwork, it just was a really tough road for a few weeks.

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I'm happy to say that we are officially licensed foster parents.

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We don't have a kiddo yet, but I'm sharing that tonight because it's important for you

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to understand that we need to press in, we need to press in and hold on and believe that

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God has something for us, even when we don't understand.

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I didn't understand what the delay was, but I want you all to know that God, He's working

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all things together for good in the midst of all these things.

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So if we believe that He is for us, then who can be against us?

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Sometimes it's waiting in the process.

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Sometimes yeah, man, we're in that olive press and we're getting squeezed and pressed by

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the enemy.

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But man, let's look and see what comes out when that happens.

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God is doing something.

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So don't give up, keep going.

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I want you to be thinking about a time where, you know, God, you felt like He told you something

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and then that didn't happen.

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Anyone else ever had that?

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Yeah, but here's the thing.

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We need to remember that we hear through filters too.

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Just like I said, or like a couple of weeks ago, like if someone's talking to us, if we

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have two people and imagine that there's like a filter in between, I can't really hold it

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long term, but imagine like there's a filter, like one person's here, one person, and then

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here's the filter, this paper thing in the middle.

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Everything that we hear or that we say goes through that filter before it hits the other

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person.

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Vice versa.

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They say something, it goes through that filter before it gets to us.

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The same thing occurs in a sense with the Lord.

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And so that's why as we heal more and more and more, as we know the word of God more,

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we learn His voice more, that is how we're going to be able to discern whether or not

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it is, we're hearing God correctly and accurately, or are we hearing the voice of the enemy kind

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of like how he met Jesus in the wilderness and he was kind of saying partial things,

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but then he was twisting it.

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Now Jesus knew what he was doing and he resisted that, but we sometimes, and especially in

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the midst of trauma, often do not have the defenses, especially as kids, to resist those

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lies or to even know how to discern or tell if that's even a lie, especially if we've

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had other things happen even before that trauma occurred.

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So I'm going to give this example.

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I've never been through this, but say a parent loses a kid in a store.

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They end up finding the kid, but in the moment that the parent can't find the kid and the

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kid can't find the parent, what is happening in those moments?

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What is that kid hearing?

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I know that's kind of one example.

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We go through a lot.

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of different things. But even in the midst of that, what is it that we're hearing from the enemy?

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And what is it that we walk out believing? Do we believe that people aren't really paying

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attention to us? Do we believe that we're abandoned? Do we believe that they left us

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on purpose? You know, what is it that we're perceiving in these situations? I'm using

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that because there's other times we go through life. And unfortunately, it's easier to believe

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the negative thing, isn't it? Most of the time. So for most of us, we have to work harder to

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believe the positive. Now, if you were raised with people that just had positive mindsets and lives,

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and they just, you know, were able to discern those things and teach you those things,

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man, you learn some skills early on that are phenomenal. But most people didn't back in the

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day, at least my parents and grandparents, they didn't have those tools. We have more of those

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tools available to us now than ever before. But our kids are all on social media. And they're all

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mentally like not able to connect in ways that it's just a totally different world than it was

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even when I grew up. So we have to get really good at learning how to partner with the truth

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to partner with the good. And that's why last week's activation where you're even just thinking

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about, okay, what are the negative roots and the unhealthy roots and the positive and healthy

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roots that are leading to healthy or unhealthy fruit in my life? If you weren't here last week,

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this is your first week. I highly recommend you go back and listen to that session from last week

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and really kind of lean into that because it's going to set you up for a lot of success in this

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course. And learning how to discern and kind of weed out some of that stuff where the enemy is

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wanting to keep you in a place in a space, but God is wanting to set you free.

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So I'm praying and believing that God will reveal to you any areas that you're struggling to believe

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that he cares again about your needs, but also your wants.

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That he will reveal to you that he is a good God and that he will come through for you. He's going

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to come through for Beth. He's going to come through for Jackie and Betsy and Soul. He's going

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to come through for all of you. And he's not a respecter of people. So if he did it for me,

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wouldn't he then do it for you? Now, everybody's timeline and journey is different. So if you're

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in the comparison trap, always comparing yourself to other people, even in the heartwork process,

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it's going to be really tough for you to ever feel like you're making progress. We got to stay

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focused on what is God doing in us? What is he saying to us? Praise God for what he's doing in

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other people, but that we keep moving forward and we don't take the bait that the enemy is

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setting us up with, trying to convince us that God's not going to do it for us. That God's just

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tricking us. Sometimes we believe that God is a tempter and he's not. The enemy is the one that

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comes to kill, steal, and destroy. He's the one that tempts us to sin and go into pathways that

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are not healthy for us. So the letdowns, the trauma, the unhealed wounds from the past,

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those are what cause us to view God in other people through these filters and false lenses.

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And that's where, again, remember with the sunglasses, we see colors that aren't there.

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We hear things that aren't there. And I'm not saying that sometimes, yes, some people do say

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these things to us legitimately, okay? But I am saying that sometimes we also hear them way

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worse than what's being said. And sometimes we're hearing stuff that just isn't there.

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Do you tend to be a suspicious person? Anyone in here tend to be suspicious? Always believe

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somebody's out to get you? Always believe that, you know, you can't trust anybody? Yeah. God wants

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to set you free from that. That started somewhere. That was not his plan for you. And so he wants you

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to be able to grow in your ability to trust him first and foremost, and then also learn who in

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your sphere is safe to trust. What is God trying to say to you personally tonight? Numbers 2319.

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This is in the King James. I'm going to read it to you in two different versions. King James

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version first. God is not a man that he should lie, neither the son of man that he should repent.

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Hath he said and shall he not do it? Has he spoken and shall he not make good? Here's the same

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scripture in the message translation. Numbers 2319. God is not a man, one given to lies, and not a son

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of man changing his mind. Does he speak and not do what he says? Does he promise?

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and not come through.

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So we forget God is not like us.

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He's not.

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Yes, Jesus came to earth and he was man, but he was God.

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He never stopped being God.

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He was fully God and fully man so he can relate to us,

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but he was not like us in the sense that we look at other

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people, you know, and understand that we are man.

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We have flesh.

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We sin.

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Jesus never sinned.

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He cannot.

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He is the perfect one.

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But yet we tend to believe that he is like man in the sense

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of harming us, hurting us, deceiving us, leaving us, abandoning

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us, and breaking his promise.

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Psalm 31 16 in the NIV version says this, let your face shine

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on your servant, save me in your unfailing love for thy

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mercy's sake. This unfailing love.

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I'm going to show this to you in several scriptures because

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I feel like better understanding of what the word actually

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says helps us to better understand the truth of what it's

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trying to convey to us.

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The Hebrew word here for unfailing love actually means goodness,

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kindness, faithfulness, merciful.

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Here it is again.

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Psalm 20 or 32, excuse me, 10 different scripture, but you're

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going to hear about unfailing love again here.

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Many are the woes of the wicked but the Lord's unfailing love

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surrounds those who trust in him.

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Unfailing love here actually means mercy shall compass him

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about.

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That's why it's saying it's going to surround us.

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To turn, to turn about, to go aside or behind, to go around,

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to encircle.

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So, you know, the Bible talks a lot about how the Lord goes

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before us.

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He's behind us.

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There's even songs that sing about this.

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The glory of the Lord is our rear guard, ladies.

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And in Joshua, it says be strong and of good courage and know

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the Lord has gone before you.

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What were they trying to do in those scriptures?

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They were trying to go and take the land.

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Right?

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Well, you all are trying to take some new territory.

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And this is, yes, it is about a spirit mate, but this is about

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the kinsman Redeemer redeeming your life and using you to be

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a kinsman Redeemer in your family line.

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To change things for generations to come.

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And to bless you in ways that you don't even know that you

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need it right now.

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Psalm 33 verse 5, 18 and 22.

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I'm going to show you that unfailing love again.

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Three times.

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Here it is in verse 5.

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The Lord loves righteousness and justice.

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The earth is full of his unfailing love.

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This one here means of the goodness of the Lord.

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So I'm going to read it.

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I'm going to use that so you can hear it again.

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The Lord loves righteousness and justice.

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The earth is full of his of the goodness of the Lord.

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I know we see a lot of bad around us.

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But what we're looking for we will find.

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This is Danielle.

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That was Psalm 33 verse 5 in the NIV version.

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Here's Psalm 33 verse 18.

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It says, but the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him

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on those who whose hope is in his unfailing love.

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This version here means mercy.

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So here we go.

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Two verses in the same chapter.

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One means of the goodness of the Lord unfailing love.

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The next one unfailing love means mercy.

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And then verse 22 of the same chapter says, may your unfailing

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love be with us Lord, even as we put our hope in you.

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And this means mercy and goodness.

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So both of the things that were in those prior verses are now

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combined into one.

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I don't know if you get excited about this kind of stuff.

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But when I understand what the word actually says, it totally

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helps me understand it on a whole different level.

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You've probably heard this song Sparrows by Corey Asbury before.

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I'm going to read some of the lyrics over you tonight.

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I encourage you to listen to this song and listen with fresh

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ears this week.

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Some of you have probably listened to it even before.

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If you've heard me say this before, totally encourage you

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to go back and pray before you listen to it and just ask God

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to help you hear things that you didn't hear.

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Before.

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The Sparrow's not worried about tomorrow or the troubles to

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come. The Lily's not thinking about the seasons, the drought

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or the flood. A tree that's planted by the water isn't phased.

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by the fire.

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So why should I be?

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Because you take good care of me.

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You take good care of me.

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You know what I need before I even ask a thing,

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and you hold me in your hands with a kindness that

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never ends.

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I'm carried in your love no matter what the future brings.

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Yeah, you take good care of me.

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The sun's not worried about the winter,

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because soon it will pass.

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The light is not thinking about the darkness or the shadow

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that it cast.

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A heart that's planted in forgiveness

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doesn't dwell in the past.

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So why should I be?

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Because you take good care of me.

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You take good care of me.

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You know what I need before I even ask a thing,

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and you hold me in your hands with a kindness that never

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ends.

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I'm carried in your love no matter what the future brings.

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Yeah, you take good care of me.

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I want that to become the melody of your heart.

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And I believe God does too.

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And God's not mad at you if this isn't what you believe yet.

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It's really important that you know that.

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He's not mad at you if you're mad at him,

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because he can take it.

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But ladies, we have to get real and honest with ourselves

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about where we're really at, because that's

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where things change.

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So if you are mad at God and you believe

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that he's holding out on you, tell him,

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because he wants to tell you the truth about that.

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So start at the root.

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Where did this begin in you?

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When's the first time someone broke a promise to you?

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We're going to talk about that a little bit in a few moments

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here, but I have a couple other things.

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But I just want to start kind of percolating that in you,

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because the first time set you up for the additional times

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when things happen and the enemy's like, see,

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yep, God doesn't come through for you.

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God doesn't treat you like he treats other people.

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Why are you still in all this financial mess?

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And you're just trying and trying and trying,

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and God just doesn't care about you.

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See, this is how the devil talks.

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And sometimes, especially when we're tired and weak

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and we're run down, it's hard to resist it, isn't it?

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It is.

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And I want you to know that you're not alone.

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And I've been there.

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I was there not that long ago about this whole trying

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to get pregnant process, and it's

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hard to walk life out sometimes.

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But you know what?

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God was with me and has been with me every step of the way,

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the same way that he was with me when

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I didn't know if I was ever going to meet someone ever

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again, and I didn't even know if I wanted to date a guy ever

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again, in the middle of brokenness and betrayal

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and all the letdowns.

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And God was with me, and he's never left me.

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And if he's done it for me, I'm confident

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that he's been with you.

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But you need him to show you that.

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And so I would encourage you to pray,

476
00:28:07.840 --> 00:28:11.840
Lord, when this happened, whatever that this is for you,

477
00:28:11.840 --> 00:28:15.440
whatever the hard things are for you, when this happened,

478
00:28:15.440 --> 00:28:19.800
can you show me, Jesus, where you are at in this moment?

479
00:28:19.800 --> 00:28:22.360
Just start asking him, God, what do you

480
00:28:22.360 --> 00:28:25.320
want me to know about this situation?

481
00:28:25.320 --> 00:28:26.040
And be ready.

482
00:28:26.040 --> 00:28:27.160
Be ready.

483
00:28:27.160 --> 00:28:29.400
If you hear something negative, I promise you,

484
00:28:29.400 --> 00:28:32.080
it's from the enemy.

485
00:28:32.080 --> 00:28:34.600
God isn't going to say something negative to you.

486
00:28:34.600 --> 00:28:38.800
Now, if he convicts you, he might invite you to change,

487
00:28:38.800 --> 00:28:41.720
but he's not going to be like, oh, you're terrible.

488
00:28:41.720 --> 00:28:47.440
All these negative things that we hear or people have said

489
00:28:47.440 --> 00:28:50.040
to us, and it planted seeds in our heart

490
00:28:50.040 --> 00:28:53.520
that make it really hard for us to believe good things,

491
00:28:53.520 --> 00:28:56.320
all of that is at play.

492
00:28:56.320 --> 00:28:58.760
So why is this time any different from any of the times

493
00:28:58.760 --> 00:29:00.920
that you've tried in the past?

494
00:29:00.920 --> 00:29:02.240
Well, here's why.

495
00:29:02.240 --> 00:29:06.200
Because you are different now.

496
00:29:06.200 --> 00:29:08.520
If you lean in to this healing process

497
00:29:08.520 --> 00:29:11.360
and you truly allow, you just do your best,

498
00:29:12.000 --> 00:29:15.800
no expectation of perfection here, ladies.

499
00:29:15.800 --> 00:29:18.840
You just do your best.

500
00:29:18.840 --> 00:29:21.800
There is no way you're walking out of this course the same way

501
00:29:21.800 --> 00:29:22.760
that you walked into it.

502
00:29:22.760 --> 00:29:26.600
If you do your best and just keep going and allow

503
00:29:26.600 --> 00:29:28.640
God to transform you, now, some of you

504
00:29:28.640 --> 00:29:31.800
might have some extra layers to do.

505
00:29:31.800 --> 00:29:33.680
We have some people that will go and they'll

506
00:29:33.680 --> 00:29:34.760
move into the next phase.

507
00:29:34.760 --> 00:29:37.800
And then they're like, oh, I think I need,

508
00:29:37.800 --> 00:29:39.800
I think I should have stayed there longer.

509
00:29:39.800 --> 00:29:41.440
Or they revisit the course because we

510
00:29:41.440 --> 00:29:43.560
have it available in the other phases

511
00:29:43.560 --> 00:29:45.440
where you can go and redo it again.

512
00:29:45.440 --> 00:29:47.520
Y'all, I read the HeartWork book even

513
00:29:47.520 --> 00:29:50.120
when I was in the class before I became a coach,

514
00:29:50.120 --> 00:29:53.360
probably four times.

515
00:29:53.360 --> 00:29:54.880
And I'm not saying that to boast.

516
00:29:54.880 --> 00:29:59.360
I'm saying because I was eating it up because I needed it.

517
00:29:59.360 --> 00:30:01.320
I listened to the.

518
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:03.080
this breaking soul ties thing probably three times.

519
00:30:04.440 --> 00:30:06.220
And I had done a lot of healing work.

520
00:30:06.220 --> 00:30:07.380
I had done deliverance work.

521
00:30:07.380 --> 00:30:08.760
I had done healing work.

522
00:30:08.760 --> 00:30:10.160
I had done counseling and coaching,

523
00:30:10.160 --> 00:30:12.620
but I'm telling you, when you are thirsty,

524
00:30:12.620 --> 00:30:16.220
when you are ready, it just ignites something in you

525
00:30:16.220 --> 00:30:19.740
and you can tell you're breaking free from stuff.

526
00:30:19.740 --> 00:30:21.620
Keep listening to it

527
00:30:21.620 --> 00:30:23.960
because there's more to be had for you.

528
00:30:23.960 --> 00:30:25.560
There's more freedom to come.

529
00:30:25.560 --> 00:30:28.240
So this time is different now because you're different now.

530
00:30:28.240 --> 00:30:30.920
And every day, as you continue to surrender to the Lord,

531
00:30:30.920 --> 00:30:31.760
you're gonna heal more,

532
00:30:31.760 --> 00:30:34.520
you're gonna grow more in your identity in Christ,

533
00:30:34.520 --> 00:30:36.240
and you're gonna become someone new,

534
00:30:36.240 --> 00:30:38.920
and you're also gonna unbecome

535
00:30:38.920 --> 00:30:40.960
those old counterfeit identities.

536
00:30:44.900 --> 00:30:47.320
I want you to start praying about,

537
00:30:47.320 --> 00:30:49.920
God, help me to see people differently.

538
00:30:49.920 --> 00:30:51.940
Help me to see myself differently.

539
00:30:52.940 --> 00:30:56.180
Help me to not believe and live like the world lives,

540
00:30:56.180 --> 00:30:57.360
full of hatred.

541
00:30:57.720 --> 00:30:59.280
All the time, you turn around,

542
00:31:00.880 --> 00:31:02.560
if you're not careful,

543
00:31:02.560 --> 00:31:04.600
you have people on the street trying to road rage

544
00:31:04.600 --> 00:31:06.640
and hurt each other.

545
00:31:06.640 --> 00:31:08.780
There's just so much anger,

546
00:31:08.780 --> 00:31:10.480
but we don't have to be like that.

547
00:31:11.760 --> 00:31:13.980
We can choose to say, you know what?

548
00:31:13.980 --> 00:31:15.840
I'm not gonna be a part of that.

549
00:31:15.840 --> 00:31:18.480
Whatever that is, I'm using road rage

550
00:31:18.480 --> 00:31:20.700
as an example right now,

551
00:31:20.700 --> 00:31:23.640
but there's a lot of that,

552
00:31:23.640 --> 00:31:25.940
the bad stuff that people want to,

553
00:31:25.980 --> 00:31:28.700
the enemy wants to kind of get us tripped up in.

554
00:31:28.700 --> 00:31:30.820
Heart change equals life change,

555
00:31:30.820 --> 00:31:33.220
and so real and lasting change is a process.

556
00:31:33.220 --> 00:31:35.220
We don't want you to be on good behavior.

557
00:31:35.220 --> 00:31:38.500
We don't want you to pretend this isn't about us.

558
00:31:38.500 --> 00:31:39.860
This is about you,

559
00:31:41.220 --> 00:31:44.340
and this is about you being in a place right now.

560
00:31:44.340 --> 00:31:47.500
We pray all the time that God will draw people

561
00:31:47.500 --> 00:31:48.900
from the North, South, East, and West

562
00:31:48.900 --> 00:31:51.260
into our program, into our community,

563
00:31:51.260 --> 00:31:53.020
at the right appointed time.

564
00:31:53.020 --> 00:31:57.260
We believe that each one of you are here right now

565
00:31:57.260 --> 00:32:00.120
for this appointed time, for an appointed purpose,

566
00:32:00.120 --> 00:32:03.420
with these women at this literal time,

567
00:32:03.420 --> 00:32:06.120
because this is where you're supposed to be right now,

568
00:32:07.940 --> 00:32:10.140
and that God is gonna give you revelation

569
00:32:10.140 --> 00:32:11.280
more than you know,

570
00:32:11.280 --> 00:32:13.100
so I encourage you to step out of alignment

571
00:32:13.100 --> 00:32:14.680
with the microwave culture.

572
00:32:14.680 --> 00:32:16.980
That's what I'm gonna call it.

573
00:32:16.980 --> 00:32:18.380
Even more than the microwave now,

574
00:32:18.380 --> 00:32:20.780
we have instant pots,

575
00:32:20.780 --> 00:32:23.060
and things are just getting faster and faster,

576
00:32:23.060 --> 00:32:25.260
and it's getting quicker and quicker to make the food,

577
00:32:25.260 --> 00:32:27.620
right, we have drive-thrus, we get frustrated.

578
00:32:27.620 --> 00:32:29.820
Anybody else get frustrated if you go through a drive-thru

579
00:32:29.820 --> 00:32:32.220
and you have to wait for five minutes?

580
00:32:32.220 --> 00:32:36.380
Am I the only one that's succumbed to society?

581
00:32:38.120 --> 00:32:39.780
I have to talk to myself sometimes,

582
00:32:39.780 --> 00:32:41.980
like why are you getting all impatient here?

583
00:32:43.100 --> 00:32:47.340
Look at the sky, take a moment, you know?

584
00:32:47.340 --> 00:32:49.060
Talking to our souls and telling our souls

585
00:32:49.060 --> 00:32:51.540
to get in line is important,

586
00:32:51.540 --> 00:32:53.580
but I have flesh just like all of you,

587
00:32:53.580 --> 00:32:54.980
and when I'm in a hurry,

588
00:32:54.980 --> 00:32:58.060
sometimes I'm like, oh, gosh darn it, another red light,

589
00:32:59.340 --> 00:33:01.820
and then sometimes the Holy Spirit will just say,

590
00:33:01.820 --> 00:33:04.800
well, maybe I'm protecting you from an accident.

591
00:33:06.360 --> 00:33:08.660
Thank you, Lord, thank you for this red light.

592
00:33:10.620 --> 00:33:14.100
I know some people are giggling, but this legit happens.

593
00:33:14.100 --> 00:33:15.960
This is how I talk to the Lord.

594
00:33:15.960 --> 00:33:17.620
This is stuff that happens,

595
00:33:17.620 --> 00:33:19.540
and so I wanna encourage y'all,

596
00:33:19.540 --> 00:33:22.180
like the reason I say I'm inviting you,

597
00:33:22.180 --> 00:33:24.540
God is inviting you to come out of that alignment

598
00:33:24.540 --> 00:33:26.700
with the microwave culture, this fast pace,

599
00:33:26.700 --> 00:33:29.380
everything has to be fast, fast, fast,

600
00:33:29.380 --> 00:33:32.420
is because we try to do that in our heart healing too.

601
00:33:34.340 --> 00:33:36.180
Some of you are gonna feel really

602
00:33:36.180 --> 00:33:38.120
like you just wanna fly through this,

603
00:33:39.300 --> 00:33:42.220
and I wanna encourage you to not do that,

604
00:33:42.220 --> 00:33:45.740
to take your time, do the five weeks.

605
00:33:45.740 --> 00:33:48.700
For some of you, you might need to do a little bit longer.

606
00:33:48.700 --> 00:33:51.060
We don't want you to camp out here though, okay?

607
00:33:51.060 --> 00:33:52.940
So if we feel like you're camping out,

608
00:33:52.940 --> 00:33:54.580
we're gonna lovingly keep nudging you.

609
00:33:54.580 --> 00:33:56.460
We're not gonna kick you out of the nest,

610
00:33:56.460 --> 00:33:58.740
but we are gonna lovingly say, hey, how's it going?

611
00:33:58.740 --> 00:33:59.900
What week are you working on?

612
00:33:59.900 --> 00:34:00.780
Where are you stuck?

613
00:34:00.780 --> 00:34:01.860
Tell me about it,

614
00:34:01.860 --> 00:34:03.860
because we want you to keep moving forward.

615
00:34:03.860 --> 00:34:06.780
Momentum is important in your process,

616
00:34:06.780 --> 00:34:10.260
and so are you expecting instant coffee

617
00:34:10.260 --> 00:34:11.420
with your spirit mate?

618
00:34:12.380 --> 00:34:13.340
Be honest.

619
00:34:14.580 --> 00:34:16.900
And meeting your spirit mate and healing,

620
00:34:17.900 --> 00:34:20.300
there are supernatural connections that happen, y'all,

621
00:34:20.300 --> 00:34:22.420
that happen really quick,

622
00:34:22.420 --> 00:34:25.900
but most of our connections are happening

623
00:34:25.900 --> 00:34:27.540
because people are taking the time

624
00:34:27.540 --> 00:34:28.900
and they're doing the work,

625
00:34:28.900 --> 00:34:31.699
and God is drawing them together with their spirit mate.

626
00:34:33.460 --> 00:34:35.820
So we believe in supernatural transformation

627
00:34:35.820 --> 00:34:37.060
in this community,

628
00:34:37.060 --> 00:34:39.980
but we also partner with God in the journey,

629
00:34:40.219 --> 00:34:43.780
and we keep taking imperfect action every single day.

630
00:34:43.780 --> 00:34:46.699
Lord, what's the imperfect action stuff I can take today?

631
00:34:46.699 --> 00:34:49.260
And so that's why we talk to you about activations.

632
00:34:49.260 --> 00:34:51.219
That's why we give you that stuff.

633
00:34:51.219 --> 00:34:53.260
And so where do you currently want an upgrade

634
00:34:53.260 --> 00:34:56.340
in your understanding of God's care for you tonight?

635
00:34:56.340 --> 00:34:59.220
Like what's been speaking to you the most

636
00:34:59.220 --> 00:35:00.740
out of what I've been talking?

637
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:06.920
I'm going to put you in your breakout session.

638
00:35:06.920 --> 00:35:11.520
That is not your question for breakout, but I want you to be thinking about that too.

639
00:35:11.520 --> 00:35:14.080
This is your question for your breakout room.

640
00:35:14.080 --> 00:35:18.640
When was a time someone broke a promise they made to you and how is that still affecting

641
00:35:18.640 --> 00:35:21.300
you today?

642
00:35:21.300 --> 00:35:27.220
When was a time someone broke a promise that they made to you and how is that still affecting

643
00:35:27.220 --> 00:35:28.220
you today?

644
00:35:28.220 --> 00:35:37.840
All right, I'm going to get these ready, see what's going on here.

645
00:35:37.840 --> 00:35:53.220
All right, I'm going to give you all eight minutes.

646
00:35:53.220 --> 00:35:56.320
You should have about, if there's only two of you, you'll have four minutes.

647
00:35:56.320 --> 00:35:59.780
If there's three of you, you'll have about two, a little over two minutes, probably like

648
00:35:59.780 --> 00:36:00.780
two and a half.

649
00:36:00.780 --> 00:36:03.620
Go ahead and click to join these as quick as you can.

650
00:36:03.620 --> 00:36:13.380
That's on your screen now, on your phone, on your screen.

651
00:36:13.380 --> 00:36:28.160
Carly, did you see that pop up for you to join that room?

652
00:36:28.160 --> 00:36:29.920
It was there and then it disappeared.

653
00:36:29.920 --> 00:36:30.920
I clicked it.

654
00:36:30.920 --> 00:36:31.920
It's okay.

655
00:36:31.920 --> 00:36:32.920
I'll put you in a different one.

656
00:36:32.920 --> 00:36:36.400
Let me just, I'm going to bump this other lady around real quick.

657
00:36:36.400 --> 00:36:39.400
Hold on one sec.

658
00:36:39.400 --> 00:36:47.260
Okay, I'm going to send you to room 15.

659
00:36:47.260 --> 00:36:56.460
Do you see it there?

660
00:36:56.460 --> 00:37:08.980
Okay, father.

661
00:37:08.980 --> 00:37:10.520
Thank you so much for this night, God.

662
00:37:10.520 --> 00:37:14.240
We thank you for everything that you're doing in our hearts and our lives.

663
00:37:14.240 --> 00:37:17.840
I thank you for revelation truth that is coming.

664
00:37:17.840 --> 00:37:23.600
Lord, I pray that you would help every lady to hear what your spirit is saying to them

665
00:37:23.600 --> 00:37:28.080
tonight that even as they share their stories in the breakout session, those that watch

666
00:37:28.080 --> 00:37:33.760
this replay, that they would, you know, truly understand Lord, even as they share about

667
00:37:33.760 --> 00:37:38.600
the broken promises, that they would see the ways the enemy has tried to come in and plant

668
00:37:39.220 --> 00:37:44.100
lies to get them to believe that you don't take good care of them, God.

669
00:37:44.100 --> 00:37:50.380
So we just thank you for revealing these areas for healing, for redeeming their minds, redeeming

670
00:37:50.380 --> 00:37:53.260
their timelines.

671
00:37:53.260 --> 00:37:59.020
We thank you, Holy Spirit, for helping people choose to forgive where there needs to be

672
00:37:59.020 --> 00:38:01.380
forgiveness for broken promises.

673
00:38:02.200 --> 00:38:08.080
Lord, I thank you for confusion and chaos, like chaos, just dissipating.

674
00:38:08.080 --> 00:38:12.720
God, that you bring clarity, that you bring insight, that you bring revelation.

675
00:38:12.720 --> 00:38:20.280
We thank you, Holy Spirit, for being our comforter, our counselor, our guide, our ever present

676
00:38:20.280 --> 00:38:21.640
help in times of trouble.

677
00:38:21.640 --> 00:38:23.520
We thank you that you are for us.

678
00:38:23.520 --> 00:38:25.680
So who can be against us?

679
00:38:25.680 --> 00:38:29.920
We thank you, God, that you are working in the midst of all the prayers that we've been

680
00:38:29.920 --> 00:38:32.020
praying for a long time.

681
00:38:32.020 --> 00:38:38.340
And God, we don't always understand why there is a waiting period for some things, but God,

682
00:38:38.340 --> 00:38:40.340
I thank you that there is a waiting.

683
00:38:40.340 --> 00:38:42.620
And sometimes, God, I thank you that there is a no.

684
00:38:42.620 --> 00:38:47.980
I've got to remember to talk to the ladies in the group about that a little bit more,

685
00:38:47.980 --> 00:38:51.380
but sometimes we're praying for things that actually would harm us.

686
00:38:51.380 --> 00:38:56.020
And so, God, I thank you for keeping us safe from those things, God, that you know us better

687
00:38:56.020 --> 00:38:57.460
than we know ourselves.

688
00:38:57.460 --> 00:39:02.760
And God, I thank you in the times where our feet are on pathways of pain, God, leading

689
00:39:02.760 --> 00:39:06.900
us away from you, that you would take our feet off of those pathways and put them back

690
00:39:06.900 --> 00:39:12.200
onto pathways that lead to you, that lead into your presence, that lead into your love.

691
00:39:12.200 --> 00:39:13.600
Ephesians 6.12 says,

692
00:39:13.600 --> 00:39:19.640
Your hand-to-hand combat is not with human beings, but with the highest principalities

693
00:39:19.640 --> 00:39:25.400
and authorities, and authorities operating in rebellion under the heavenly realms.

694
00:39:25.400 --> 00:39:31.240
Such a good reminder that, you know, even, you know, the enemy doesn't want us to walk

695
00:39:31.240 --> 00:39:34.000
into successful love stories.

696
00:39:34.000 --> 00:39:38.520
He's not for kingdom families and marriages, and that's why he's constantly trying to bring

697
00:39:38.520 --> 00:39:40.460
destruction in them.

698
00:39:40.460 --> 00:39:46.140
And so, God, I thank you that tonight that you would give us perseverance and the tenacity

699
00:39:46.140 --> 00:39:51.440
to never give up and to know that you're where the enemy comes in like a flood, that your

700
00:39:51.440 --> 00:39:56.980
word declares that you raise up a standard against him, but you use us to be a part of

701
00:39:56.980 --> 00:39:58.680
enforcing that.

702
00:39:58.680 --> 00:40:00.000
So I pray that you would help us to step...

703
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:06.080
into authority in the areas that we need to, to pray, to intercede, and to see God, all the things

704
00:40:06.080 --> 00:40:11.520
that you're doing in our lives. Where we are hopeless, God, I pray that you would pour on hope,

705
00:40:12.240 --> 00:40:15.760
God, liquid love, that it would come down from heaven in a fresh way.

706
00:40:17.200 --> 00:40:22.240
I thank you for the healing oil of heaven, God, washing over every facet of our being,

707
00:40:23.200 --> 00:40:27.840
that you would help us, Lord. Yeah, remind us of your truth.

708
00:40:28.880 --> 00:40:32.320
Help us to see ourselves through your eyes more and more and more.

709
00:40:33.760 --> 00:40:38.000
Matthew chapter 7, verse 24 through 25 says this,

710
00:40:39.120 --> 00:40:44.160
Everyone who hears my teaching and applies it to his life can be compared to a wise man who built

711
00:40:44.160 --> 00:40:51.040
his house on an unshakable foundation. When the rains fell and the flood came, with fierce winds

712
00:40:51.040 --> 00:40:57.040
beating upon his house, it stood firm because of its strong foundation. Lord, I pray that you would

713
00:40:57.040 --> 00:41:03.840
help us to have our foundation more and more and more in you. That even as Jackie released on

714
00:41:03.840 --> 00:41:10.080
Supernatural Saturday a couple weeks ago, just that returning to our first love, God, so many

715
00:41:10.080 --> 00:41:16.000
people actually never knew the fullness of your love. And so we thank you for helping us to step

716
00:41:16.000 --> 00:41:22.960
into the full revelation of your love for us. God, you are love. You cannot deny yourself. So,

717
00:41:22.960 --> 00:41:30.320
God, I thank you that you would help us to receive your love, to receive your grace, to receive your

718
00:41:30.320 --> 00:41:40.720
healing. Yes, Lord. I just pray right now for any lady, just that there's any resistance in their

719
00:41:40.720 --> 00:41:46.320
heart, whether they're in the heart work group here or any part of our last year single community,

720
00:41:46.320 --> 00:41:51.280
God, where they are in rebellion and they don't even know it. God, I ask you to heal them

721
00:41:52.720 --> 00:41:56.720
in the depths of their being where they're holding on to anger. God, let anger flee.

722
00:41:57.280 --> 00:42:03.440
Let them release that anger to you and allow you to help them process the hurt that is underneath.

723
00:42:04.320 --> 00:42:09.200
And we thank you where there's been resistance in the past. I'm just seeing the Lord saying

724
00:42:09.200 --> 00:42:12.480
there's an open door coming. And so I just speak that over all of you.

725
00:42:15.040 --> 00:42:19.680
Yes, Lord. I don't know if any of y'all have ever seen, and I know Alice is on here,

726
00:42:19.680 --> 00:42:24.400
but even those watching the replay, there's this movie, Yes Day, I think is what it's called.

727
00:42:25.200 --> 00:42:30.800
Jennifer, I think maybe Garner. I don't know if that's right. But anyways, it's a great movie.

728
00:42:30.800 --> 00:42:34.400
And I'm going to make a note to mention it again when the ladies come back. So some of you will

729
00:42:34.400 --> 00:42:42.800
hear it twice. But I want you just to start thinking about why even those parents in the

730
00:42:42.800 --> 00:42:49.520
movie said no originally. And then what led them to say yes and how it turned out when they did.

731
00:42:49.520 --> 00:42:54.880
And even when they said yes, how sometimes that didn't go well. Because again, sometimes we want

732
00:42:54.880 --> 00:43:00.560
God to say yes to something for us that we're pleading for it. Just like I pleaded years ago

733
00:43:00.560 --> 00:43:04.960
for my spiritual daughter's dad. I wanted him to marry me. I wanted to be with him.

734
00:43:04.960 --> 00:43:10.880
But I was living into counterfeit identities. I was not living into my potential. And I was

735
00:43:10.880 --> 00:43:17.840
settling for less than God's best. And thank God that God did not say yes to that, because I would

736
00:43:17.840 --> 00:43:23.360
have destroyed my life. I really would have. And so I'm so thankful now. I didn't understand it

737
00:43:23.360 --> 00:43:30.080
then, but I fully understand it now. And getting to be with my partner and my teammate, my husband

738
00:43:30.080 --> 00:43:36.880
Brian, and to get to do what we are doing now together as a team, even what I'm doing as a

739
00:43:36.880 --> 00:43:42.880
coach here in Last Year Single community, God totally led me into this. But I had to partner

740
00:43:42.880 --> 00:43:48.080
with him in the process. I had to let go of the things that were not good so that I could receive

741
00:43:48.080 --> 00:43:52.880
the good things that he had for me. And for those of you that that's where you're at, I want to

742
00:43:52.880 --> 00:44:00.240
encourage you to trust the Lord and relinquish control. Let those things go and allow yourself

743
00:44:00.240 --> 00:44:06.800
to move into the new stuff that he has for you. Psalm 147 through 4 says this,

744
00:44:06.800 --> 00:44:14.240
He heals the wounds of every shattered heart. He sets his stars in place, calling them all

745
00:44:14.240 --> 00:44:21.520
by their names. I love that scripture. Just even thinking about the fact that God gives every star

746
00:44:21.520 --> 00:44:26.960
a name, like think about even that scripture that talks about he knows every hair on our head.

747
00:44:26.960 --> 00:44:33.600
Like God intimately knows us and he cares about us. And so why would we think for a second

748
00:44:34.640 --> 00:44:40.960
that he is not working on our behalf right now? Like we're a part of him. He loves us. We're his kids.

749
00:44:43.840 --> 00:44:48.320
So lean into that. Keep praying into that. For those of you coming back when you're in breakouts,

750
00:44:48.320 --> 00:44:55.040
for those of you that are new, I talk and pray and just say anything God's putting on my spirit.

751
00:44:55.040 --> 00:44:59.760
For those that are in that, not able to go into breakout, and then also those that catch the replay.

752
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:03.520
I encourage you all to go back and listen to that. I put you into breakouts tonight around

753
00:45:04.800 --> 00:45:11.120
like 8, 38 or so. And so that's about the place. Sorry, I got to mute this real quick. That's about

754
00:45:11.120 --> 00:45:14.000
the place if you want to listen to it in the replay, because I think it's going to really

755
00:45:14.000 --> 00:45:18.320
minister to some of you, probably all of you, but some of you really need some of the words that

756
00:45:18.320 --> 00:45:22.720
were released while y'all were in there, because God was saying some prophetic things to me about

757
00:45:22.720 --> 00:45:28.960
you. So enjoy that. I pray that it blesses you. All right. So if you've never been here for this

758
00:45:28.960 --> 00:45:33.360
part, what we do next is I talk to you about your activations for this week. So I'm giving you

759
00:45:33.360 --> 00:45:38.320
your assignments. Are you ready? For some of you, you've heard this one before. Maybe you didn't do

760
00:45:38.320 --> 00:45:43.920
it. Maybe you did do it. Either way, your assignment number one is never will I ever list.

761
00:45:44.800 --> 00:45:48.080
Okay. Sometimes people get confused about this. If you have questions,

762
00:45:48.080 --> 00:45:53.440
it's totally fine to ask us the questions. I will remember to put the post up with the

763
00:45:53.440 --> 00:45:58.560
instructions. I put the post up y'all from last week, I think this morning. Sorry about that.

764
00:45:59.040 --> 00:46:02.560
So if you weren't sure and you needed more instruction from last week's activation,

765
00:46:02.560 --> 00:46:07.200
you can catch that under the feature tab or announcements tab. It's announcements tab here

766
00:46:07.200 --> 00:46:13.840
in the app. But this week is never will I ever list. And so what I want you to be thinking about

767
00:46:14.720 --> 00:46:18.320
is completing this statement. And I'm going to give you some more instructions.

768
00:46:18.880 --> 00:46:27.680
It is, this is the statement. Never will I ever date blank because blank.

769
00:46:31.440 --> 00:46:38.880
Never will I ever date blank because blank. I'm so glad I've seen Karen's comment in there. I'm

770
00:46:38.880 --> 00:46:44.880
so glad that you guys like the breakouts. I always loved it. I hope that you guys take full use of

771
00:46:44.880 --> 00:46:53.360
that as well. So here's the deal. The reason we say a lot of these statements, some are literally

772
00:46:53.360 --> 00:46:59.680
out of places of wholeness and the healing that we're going through. Some of them are informed

773
00:46:59.680 --> 00:47:04.480
statements and vow, like trauma informed statements, excuse me, and vows that we have

774
00:47:04.480 --> 00:47:12.640
made internally that we need to come out of alignment with. Yeah. And never will I ever,

775
00:47:13.360 --> 00:47:19.840
I said never will I ever move back north ever again when I left Ohio, you all. And you want

776
00:47:19.840 --> 00:47:27.440
to know where God led me when I met Brian? More north. It's like what is happening? Here I am

777
00:47:27.440 --> 00:47:34.320
in the cold again. And now we're in Florida where it's hot, hot all the time. All right.

778
00:47:35.360 --> 00:47:40.960
So here are some examples for you. These statements can also come from our preferences. I

779
00:47:40.960 --> 00:47:46.240
want to say that too. It's not always trauma. Some of you all are just like, I just like boys

780
00:47:46.240 --> 00:47:54.320
and men that are ripped. That's all I want. I'm not saying it's bad. Okay, you all. But don't be

781
00:47:54.320 --> 00:48:00.480
like saying that when you don't work out. Okay? Just saying. We have that happen all the time.

782
00:48:00.480 --> 00:48:05.840
It happens on the guy's side and it happens on the lady's side. People that work out and take

783
00:48:05.840 --> 00:48:10.240
care of their bodies on a regular basis, they're going to want to be with someone who does that.

784
00:48:10.240 --> 00:48:16.560
They're not being mean. It's just part of it. Just like Brian, when I met him, I knew before I

785
00:48:16.560 --> 00:48:21.760
even met him, I would, I'm called to ministry. I'm called to lead. I'm called to preach. I'm

786
00:48:21.760 --> 00:48:27.360
called to pastor and care for people. It is literally in me. I like, I don't know how to

787
00:48:27.360 --> 00:48:33.520
not be that person, which is a good thing. And so I knew that I needed to be with someone that

788
00:48:33.520 --> 00:48:38.320
also had that kind of calling on their life. It didn't have to look exactly the same as mine,

789
00:48:38.320 --> 00:48:42.400
but I needed to know that they knew what their calling was and that they were running after the

790
00:48:42.400 --> 00:48:47.760
Lord. And that when I looked over, they were like, we're running, pacing, we're pacing together.

791
00:48:48.400 --> 00:48:52.880
Because in the past, the people that I kept picking were all the way back there. And then

792
00:48:52.880 --> 00:48:59.040
I was trying to help them get up here. And I was done with that. Praise the Lord. So I'm just

793
00:48:59.040 --> 00:49:05.200
saying some of our preferences are clothing. And again, I'm not saying that's bad, but you know,

794
00:49:05.200 --> 00:49:09.680
here's the truth. And Jackie talks about this. You guys will hear her say this more as you go

795
00:49:09.680 --> 00:49:20.000
into the rest of the community. Some guys need a lady's help. My husband, I am, I'm the person that

796
00:49:20.000 --> 00:49:25.600
helps him. Okay. So sometimes some guys are really good at that or they have a sister or someone that

797
00:49:25.600 --> 00:49:33.040
can help them. Some guys might not have all the top-notch design name stuff. Okay. But if they're

798
00:49:33.120 --> 00:49:40.000
really awesome guy, and you don't even agree to meet them because they don't have on a certain

799
00:49:40.000 --> 00:49:44.560
look, man, that stinks. You might've missed out on a really great person because of that.

800
00:49:45.120 --> 00:49:49.600
And so again, I'm not saying to not like those things or not want those things, but some of us

801
00:49:49.600 --> 00:49:56.320
need to really surrender the pen and really decide if you're going to trust the Lord or not. Okay.

802
00:49:56.320 --> 00:49:59.840
I'm going to give you some examples of some of the never will I ever's.

803
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:09.300
that happen. Now, really important as well. You all, we do not want you to date addicts.

804
00:50:09.300 --> 00:50:12.920
Does that mean that they have never been an addict before? No. What I'm talking about

805
00:50:12.920 --> 00:50:20.600
is someone who is actively struggling with some kind of addiction. Okay? I'm telling

806
00:50:20.600 --> 00:50:24.480
you this for a purpose. So when you do your never will I ever statements, you don't have

807
00:50:24.480 --> 00:50:29.100
to necessarily say that. If you need healing in that area, go ahead and put that in still.

808
00:50:29.100 --> 00:50:34.300
But those are kind of obvious. Like never will I ever date someone who is addicted to

809
00:50:34.300 --> 00:50:39.380
porn. Okay? That, if you have to write that in there, that's probably coming out of a

810
00:50:39.380 --> 00:50:44.540
past hurt for you. So you can just know that right out of the gate. All right? You can

811
00:50:44.540 --> 00:50:49.420
still put it in there again if you want. But I'm just saying, we kind of, those are understood.

812
00:50:49.420 --> 00:50:54.060
Does everyone understand why I'm saying that to you? So don't feel like you have to say

813
00:50:54.060 --> 00:51:01.140
those kind of things. But what we're looking for are these other kind of hurt, these hangups

814
00:51:01.140 --> 00:51:06.460
that we have. These other areas that are, you know, coming out of places, again, of

815
00:51:06.460 --> 00:51:13.620
trauma and wounds that you have. So here are some of those examples. Never will I ever

816
00:51:13.620 --> 00:51:22.780
date a man who has been divorced. Never will I ever date a man who has kids. Because some

817
00:51:22.780 --> 00:51:30.100
of you all, I get it, you haven't had kids yet. And you just want your own kids with

818
00:51:30.100 --> 00:51:36.020
your husband and you don't want to have someone else's kids. The older you get, the harder

819
00:51:36.020 --> 00:51:45.100
that's going to get. Okay? So I'm just saying, you might need to pray for God to expand your

820
00:51:45.100 --> 00:51:52.700
heart and capacity for the vision regarding kids. I have been able now, I'm a stepmom,

821
00:51:52.700 --> 00:51:59.140
I'm a mom to two spiritual daughters, and I would not trade it, you all. I love those

822
00:51:59.140 --> 00:52:05.860
kids. And now I'm technically a stepmom again, but his kids are older, Brian's kids are older,

823
00:52:05.860 --> 00:52:11.180
and we see them on occasion, but it's just different when they're older. Okay, keep going.

824
00:52:11.180 --> 00:52:18.460
Never will I ever date someone who doesn't have any money. Now, when I say this, we don't

825
00:52:18.460 --> 00:52:23.140
want you getting into relationships where someone is not a good financial steward either.

826
00:52:23.140 --> 00:52:31.860
But here's why it's important to look at this. Some men spend all of their money to try to

827
00:52:31.860 --> 00:52:43.140
get their kids in custody battles. It's true. I married one of them. He went through a horrible,

828
00:52:43.140 --> 00:52:51.700
horrible situation and was paying off his debt, financially wise and smart, very good

829
00:52:51.700 --> 00:52:58.420
at saving money. We even, both of us, we saved together for our honeymoon and our wedding.

830
00:52:58.420 --> 00:53:04.820
I think we total like $10,000 on all of that, and we didn't pay for anything in credit.

831
00:53:04.820 --> 00:53:11.980
We saved together as a team. So it's not like, you don't want to just look at, like you want

832
00:53:11.980 --> 00:53:17.220
to look at the situation, but as you get to know people, you want to really know the situation.

833
00:53:17.220 --> 00:53:24.940
You understand everyone? Okay. All right. Never will I ever date someone I'm not very

834
00:53:25.060 --> 00:53:29.900
sexually attracted to. You know, a lot of people will go on dates and they want that,

835
00:53:29.900 --> 00:53:33.700
they want the sparks on the first couple of dates. And if they don't feel that,

836
00:53:33.700 --> 00:53:38.580
then it's just not meant to be. Now, a lot of times, whether you realize it or not,

837
00:53:38.580 --> 00:53:44.780
that's actually lust getting in the way. And we're not saying that you're not going to be

838
00:53:44.780 --> 00:53:50.620
attracted to the person that you're going to be, you know, God's going to lead you to. You will.

839
00:53:50.620 --> 00:53:56.700
Some of you though, have never really gotten to know someone who you think they're handsome,

840
00:53:56.700 --> 00:54:01.420
but maybe they wouldn't be who you would originally have picked, but they might have

841
00:54:01.420 --> 00:54:07.820
the heart of the person that you need. And genuinely you all, I'm not making this up.

842
00:54:07.820 --> 00:54:14.700
When it is meant to be in the sense of they're a good match for you and they have a good heart,

843
00:54:15.420 --> 00:54:21.500
and you have spiritual DNA, what starts to happen is you start to become more and more and more

844
00:54:21.500 --> 00:54:28.700
attracted to them. And so we try to coach in this community for you all to kind of think about a

845
00:54:28.700 --> 00:54:35.340
slow burn. Okay. Because a slow burn actually typically graze into something very healthy

846
00:54:35.340 --> 00:54:41.260
and strong. And those people tend to be capable of also not having sex outside of marriage.

847
00:54:41.980 --> 00:54:49.020
Okay. All right. Here's a couple more. Never will I ever date someone who is a pastor or is in any

848
00:54:49.020 --> 00:54:53.100
level of ministry. We had a young lady that comes to mind, even as I say that to you,

849
00:54:53.660 --> 00:54:59.820
she grew up as a PK, pastor's kid, never wanted to date anyone in ministry.

850
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:02.000
Hardcore line on that for her

851
00:55:03.240 --> 00:55:09.320
But y'all God led her to surrender that pen and when she finally did

852
00:55:10.680 --> 00:55:13.940
God led her a man who was a youth pastor an

853
00:55:14.760 --> 00:55:16.600
incredible guy

854
00:55:16.600 --> 00:55:18.600
Such a great match these two together

855
00:55:19.360 --> 00:55:24.240
They ended up getting married and you know now she's the pastor's wife

856
00:55:24.800 --> 00:55:27.440
But she had to be willing to surrender the pen

857
00:55:27.440 --> 00:55:29.440
Okay, I'm gonna keep going

858
00:55:29.920 --> 00:55:35.840
Never will I ever date someone who's been in the military who are police officers who whatever the job is for you?

859
00:55:35.840 --> 00:55:40.320
Maybe it's someone who walks high on stuff. You know that freaks you out and scares you

860
00:55:40.320 --> 00:55:42.320
Whatever that kind of stuff is for you

861
00:55:42.320 --> 00:55:49.840
Never will I ever date someone that has the name John or Mark or Eric or whatever the name is for you

862
00:55:49.840 --> 00:55:55.760
Anyone else ever had that kind of situation you dated someone we're married to someone and you're just like I'm never gonna date or marry

863
00:55:55.760 --> 00:56:00.000
Someone with that name ever again. Yeah. Well, let me tell you a little story

864
00:56:01.360 --> 00:56:08.080
My main abuser my oldest brother his name. Wait for it is Brian

865
00:56:10.680 --> 00:56:13.600
And when I met Brian my husband I

866
00:56:14.720 --> 00:56:16.720
Literally said to God

867
00:56:16.720 --> 00:56:21.040
You couldn't have sent me someone like this without a different name

868
00:56:21.040 --> 00:56:27.360
Like really like again you guys I talked to God, um, I just talked to him. I'm like, why did you send me?

869
00:56:27.920 --> 00:56:32.480
Brian a name Brian. Why couldn't he have any other name? And this is what God said to me

870
00:56:34.400 --> 00:56:36.720
Because I want to redeem the name Brian for you

871
00:56:39.760 --> 00:56:42.960
Wow, what yes he did

872
00:56:44.560 --> 00:56:47.440
And you all my brother-in-law's name is Brian

873
00:56:47.440 --> 00:56:49.440
My brother-in-law's name is Brian

874
00:56:50.800 --> 00:56:55.200
I there's Brian's all around and so Renee Rizzo who's in our

875
00:56:56.000 --> 00:57:00.960
Community her husband's name is Brian someone else in our community right now is dating a Brian

876
00:57:01.040 --> 00:57:04.400
So it's just kind of ironic, but I I married Brian

877
00:57:05.040 --> 00:57:07.600
And I'm so thankful that I didn't let his name

878
00:57:09.040 --> 00:57:13.120
Cause me to swipe left on him or right whichever I have been out of it so long y'all now

879
00:57:13.120 --> 00:57:16.000
I don't even remember which way you swipe, but you know what I'm saying

880
00:57:17.760 --> 00:57:18.880
Yeah

881
00:57:18.880 --> 00:57:21.920
maybe it's when they're born, I don't know if that's what Mary meant, but like

882
00:57:22.640 --> 00:57:27.200
Sometimes again, we pick this stuff up because somebody said something we heard something

883
00:57:27.200 --> 00:57:33.040
We thought something and we made a vow. I am never gonna let this kind of person hurt me ever again

884
00:57:33.120 --> 00:57:37.040
I'm never going to be with this kind of person and here's the last one

885
00:57:37.680 --> 00:57:44.000
Someone that is never will I ever date someone who is a certain age because your ex was that age?

886
00:57:44.880 --> 00:57:50.560
So this tends to happen a lot with women that date people that there's an age difference

887
00:57:52.160 --> 00:57:57.600
Or if the guy was younger than them and then he ends up not being mature the first time around

888
00:57:58.400 --> 00:58:03.680
And so we have to make sure that we're not excluding people. We have this even happen with some women that

889
00:58:04.640 --> 00:58:08.800
God is leading them to a man that is actually younger than them now now ladies

890
00:58:08.800 --> 00:58:11.200
We're not asking you to be encouraging all to be cougars

891
00:58:11.200 --> 00:58:16.800
We're not encouraging the men to try to go after young girls like we we cut that stuff

892
00:58:17.360 --> 00:58:20.640
We don't we don't encourage that but what I am saying

893
00:58:21.600 --> 00:58:26.480
Is sometimes God we there's a woman right now. They're engaged in our community

894
00:58:26.480 --> 00:58:29.840
God led her to a guy that is like 10 years younger than her

895
00:58:30.400 --> 00:58:33.920
She would have not originally dated someone that much younger

896
00:58:34.240 --> 00:58:37.600
But God really drew them together and they're doing really well

897
00:58:37.840 --> 00:58:39.600
And so again

898
00:58:39.600 --> 00:58:44.240
I'm, just saying all this stuff to kind of stir this up for you all and you guys can pray into it this week

899
00:58:44.800 --> 00:58:48.320
Put those up in the chat in the community group. So in the last your single app

900
00:58:48.320 --> 00:58:52.960
You're going to go in the community tab create a post and you're going to share your list with us

901
00:58:53.280 --> 00:58:59.520
And I really want to encourage you to be transparent and be real like even if you're afraid it's going to offend someone

902
00:59:00.080 --> 00:59:02.080
I want you to be real now

903
00:59:03.040 --> 00:59:05.840
Try not to be super crass about it and

904
00:59:06.000 --> 00:59:08.000
When I say be real

905
00:59:08.640 --> 00:59:15.120
I do want you to be careful to not say things and not that any of you all would but i'm just saying

906
00:59:16.080 --> 00:59:20.880
For you all to be careful that how you communicate things that it doesn't come across

907
00:59:21.920 --> 00:59:27.280
Racist or any of those things and i'm going to need everybody in this group to be really

908
00:59:28.000 --> 00:59:30.000
Not offendable this week

909
00:59:30.640 --> 00:59:32.000
Okay

910
00:59:32.080 --> 00:59:33.360
Okay

911
00:59:33.360 --> 00:59:38.720
Super important because some people are going to say I don't want to marry someone that has kids already

912
00:59:39.280 --> 00:59:43.200
And some of you that are single mamas that might hurt your heart when you read it

913
00:59:44.000 --> 00:59:50.320
But i'm going to encourage you don't get offended by that because that's they're where they're at for a certain reason

914
00:59:50.800 --> 00:59:56.000
So just like you might need coaching in another area. They might need coaching regarding that too

915
00:59:56.000 --> 00:59:58.800
There might be a reason that they're afraid of that

916
00:59:59.680 --> 01:00:01.680
They might

917
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:03.280
might just believe that the best, God's best for them,

918
01:00:03.280 --> 01:00:06.480
is for them to wait until they find someone

919
01:00:06.480 --> 01:00:07.600
that has no kids.

920
01:00:07.600 --> 01:00:10.480
And again, this is where we extend grace to each other

921
01:00:10.480 --> 01:00:12.720
and we believe the best in other people, okay?

922
01:00:12.720 --> 01:00:14.080
Super important.

923
01:00:14.080 --> 01:00:16.440
All right, so that is your activation for this week.

924
01:00:16.440 --> 01:00:18.200
It's really a good one.

925
01:00:18.200 --> 01:00:21.520
It's gonna have some really great conversations happening

926
01:00:21.520 --> 01:00:23.320
and lean into the uncomfortable.

927
01:00:23.320 --> 01:00:24.960
Remember I said that earlier?

928
01:00:24.960 --> 01:00:26.080
Because you're probably gonna feel it

929
01:00:26.080 --> 01:00:27.160
this week a little bit.

930
01:00:27.160 --> 01:00:28.840
All right, so now what we're gonna do

931
01:00:28.880 --> 01:00:30.160
is our group coaching time.

932
01:00:30.160 --> 01:00:32.200
Ailyn's ready, she's been ready.

933
01:00:32.200 --> 01:00:35.240
So Ailyn, you can go ahead and go first.

934
01:00:35.240 --> 01:00:37.240
Would love to hear what you have to say.

935
01:00:38.880 --> 01:00:40.200
Hi.

936
01:00:40.200 --> 01:00:41.040
Hi.

937
01:00:42.240 --> 01:00:44.200
So to start,

938
01:00:46.240 --> 01:00:49.440
what you said in the beginning about,

939
01:00:50.760 --> 01:00:51.600
like,

940
01:00:53.840 --> 01:00:55.480
I can't even find words.

941
01:00:55.840 --> 01:00:57.640
Nevermind, I'm just gonna skip

942
01:00:57.640 --> 01:00:59.880
because my words are not coming out right now.

943
01:01:01.680 --> 01:01:04.560
You can always circle back to that if you think of it.

944
01:01:04.560 --> 01:01:07.040
Yes, if I think of it, I will.

945
01:01:08.520 --> 01:01:10.720
So the question was, like,

946
01:01:10.720 --> 01:01:12.920
when has somebody ever broken a promise to me?

947
01:01:12.920 --> 01:01:16.360
Or the first time that somebody broke a promise to me?

948
01:01:16.360 --> 01:01:20.040
Like, I instantly thought, okay, it wasn't a promise,

949
01:01:20.040 --> 01:01:22.320
but it was an expectation.

950
01:01:22.440 --> 01:01:24.760
But it was an expectation.

951
01:01:25.800 --> 01:01:28.120
And my mom,

952
01:01:29.480 --> 01:01:33.440
she was a single mom for, like, four years.

953
01:01:33.440 --> 01:01:38.440
And, you know, she had me and my brother, my twin.

954
01:01:40.280 --> 01:01:43.160
And so she was actually working three jobs

955
01:01:43.160 --> 01:01:46.920
and going to school all the while.

956
01:01:46.920 --> 01:01:50.680
And so we stayed with my grandma and my grandpa.

957
01:01:50.720 --> 01:01:54.080
You know, there's no shame in that, right?

958
01:01:55.200 --> 01:02:00.080
But I had this expectation of, like, okay, you're my mom.

959
01:02:00.080 --> 01:02:01.480
Like, I want you to be here.

960
01:02:03.000 --> 01:02:06.040
And, like, I'd always, like,

961
01:02:07.200 --> 01:02:10.280
in the past, thought about how my biological father

962
01:02:10.280 --> 01:02:11.480
didn't really want me.

963
01:02:12.480 --> 01:02:17.480
But I struggle with it because now I'm a single mom now.

964
01:02:27.600 --> 01:02:32.600
And I'm depending on my parents for, like, certain things.

965
01:02:32.600 --> 01:02:37.600
But also because, like, today,

966
01:02:39.600 --> 01:02:44.600
I was trying to, like, make a decision,

967
01:02:44.960 --> 01:02:46.560
like, that God led me to.

968
01:02:48.360 --> 01:02:50.040
And I wanted to go to my mom.

969
01:02:50.040 --> 01:02:54.160
And right now she struggles with autoimmune and stuff.

970
01:02:55.160 --> 01:03:00.160
And so she was going through a flare-up.

971
01:03:01.480 --> 01:03:04.920
So she went to go to bed so that she could feel better.

972
01:03:10.760 --> 01:03:15.760
And, like, so I ended up just, you know,

973
01:03:15.760 --> 01:03:17.760
like, I don't know, I don't know what to do.

974
01:03:17.760 --> 01:03:18.600
I don't know what to do.

975
01:03:18.600 --> 01:03:19.440
I don't know what to do.

976
01:03:19.440 --> 01:03:20.280
I don't know what to do.

977
01:03:20.280 --> 01:03:21.120
I don't know what to do.

978
01:03:21.120 --> 01:03:21.960
I don't know what to do.

979
01:03:21.960 --> 01:03:26.240
So I ended up just sending the email,

980
01:03:26.240 --> 01:03:29.640
canceling on a house that God told me.

981
01:03:30.480 --> 01:03:33.600
Nope, I told you to wait on this.

982
01:03:33.600 --> 01:03:36.000
I didn't say no, but I didn't say yes.

983
01:03:37.800 --> 01:03:40.880
And so normally I would go to my mom about it.

984
01:03:41.920 --> 01:03:45.600
And I didn't because I was like,

985
01:03:45.600 --> 01:03:47.320
I want her to feel better.

986
01:03:47.320 --> 01:03:51.280
But it's really affected me in terms of,

987
01:03:53.800 --> 01:03:57.800
I feel like I have to do things myself

988
01:03:59.600 --> 01:04:01.440
because that's what my mom did.

989
01:04:03.440 --> 01:04:08.440
And then also I'm so dependent on them

990
01:04:09.520 --> 01:04:13.760
that I want to get out of the situation and not be stuck.

991
01:04:13.760 --> 01:04:14.600
That's what it was.

992
01:04:14.960 --> 01:04:18.400
You saying that you're not actually stuck,

993
01:04:18.400 --> 01:04:21.760
but that God has me in a place right now

994
01:04:24.840 --> 01:04:26.560
basically to heal and stuff.

995
01:04:29.560 --> 01:04:32.360
And so I struggle with that.

996
01:04:34.600 --> 01:04:35.440
Yeah.

997
01:04:36.920 --> 01:04:38.600
Sorry, I have a lot of emotions.

998
01:04:38.600 --> 01:04:39.960
You don't have to apologize.

999
01:04:39.960 --> 01:04:42.280
Remember, ladies, super important.

1000
01:04:42.280 --> 01:04:44.120
You don't ever have to apologize.

1001
01:04:44.720 --> 01:04:46.440
Whatever is in there needs to come out

1002
01:04:46.440 --> 01:04:49.640
and it's okay that it comes out when you're sharing

1003
01:04:49.640 --> 01:04:53.000
or in breakouts or wherever, even at home.

1004
01:04:53.000 --> 01:04:57.640
So continue to let yourself release that stuff.

1005
01:04:58.840 --> 01:05:00.240
One of the questions I have.

1006
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:07.360
for you and the answer might be no, but I just when your mom went to bed today, you said that

1007
01:05:07.360 --> 01:05:22.160
was today, right? Yeah. Was there any level of feelings of abandonment for you? Like what led

1008
01:05:22.160 --> 01:05:28.240
you to send the email? Like in yourself, what led you to send the email instead of waiting to talk

1009
01:05:28.240 --> 01:05:33.600
to your mom like you normally would have? Was it that you just were trying to step more into being

1010
01:05:33.600 --> 01:05:42.560
more grown up or was it that you were frustrated that she wasn't available for you? So you sent

1011
01:05:42.560 --> 01:05:56.240
the email. I was trying to be like more of a grown up and actually make the decision for myself.

1012
01:05:58.240 --> 01:06:06.640
But I think I was disappointed when she wasn't available. So I wasn't frustrated, but I was like,

1013
01:06:06.640 --> 01:06:13.040
oh darn, like she's not, I can't talk to her right now. I shouldn't talk to her right now.

1014
01:06:14.240 --> 01:06:18.080
And I was like, nope, I just have to do it. I have to make my own decision.

1015
01:06:18.080 --> 01:06:30.480
So have you, you know, number one, I think your mom has done a tremendous job to, you know,

1016
01:06:30.480 --> 01:06:35.840
raise kids, go to school, work. It's tough to be a single mom. My mom was a single mom,

1017
01:06:35.840 --> 01:06:41.040
but it's still hard when we go through pain or we miss them or we need them and they're not there.

1018
01:06:41.600 --> 01:06:46.400
I spent a lot of time with my grandparents as well. I love my grandparents. I'm so grateful

1019
01:06:46.400 --> 01:06:53.120
that they were in my life, but I still am sad that I didn't have the relationship I wanted with

1020
01:06:53.120 --> 01:06:59.600
my mom. And so I think if you haven't already, it's going to be important for you to do a

1021
01:06:59.600 --> 01:07:08.560
forgiveness prayer sheet and forgive your mom for ways that she wasn't there for you at times you

1022
01:07:08.560 --> 01:07:13.920
really needed her to be or wanted her to be. And it doesn't mean it makes her a bad mom.

1023
01:07:14.880 --> 01:07:20.320
It just means she wasn't there physically. She wasn't capable because she was over having to

1024
01:07:20.320 --> 01:07:24.720
work or trying to go to school so that she could be a better mom most likely.

1025
01:07:25.680 --> 01:07:32.000
But the reality is, is that you still receive that as some level of, and I don't want to put

1026
01:07:32.000 --> 01:07:35.600
words in your mouth. So you have to really pray into what is it that you really felt?

1027
01:07:36.320 --> 01:07:42.560
Did you feel rejection? Did you feel abandonment? Did you feel neglect or forgotten? Like,

1028
01:07:42.560 --> 01:07:50.960
what was it for you so that you can forgive her and release her from that kind of hold? Because

1029
01:07:50.960 --> 01:07:57.360
it's still impacting you even in this moment today. That's why you're feeling that kind of

1030
01:07:57.360 --> 01:08:04.160
disappointed feeling. And it actually will probably empower in like end up empowering you

1031
01:08:04.960 --> 01:08:12.080
to step further into more of your independence where you're not, you know, partnering in that

1032
01:08:12.160 --> 01:08:18.000
codependency a little bit because of kind of the situation you're in. And it's not bad to receive

1033
01:08:18.000 --> 01:08:23.279
help from your parents. So don't hear like, that's not what I'm saying. But I do sense from you,

1034
01:08:23.279 --> 01:08:28.960
there's a little probably of codependency there, really trying to struggle to get kind of your

1035
01:08:28.960 --> 01:08:32.800
bearings a little bit. God is going to continue to help you. And it's okay to receive help from

1036
01:08:32.800 --> 01:08:38.160
your parents when they can give it to you. But where you start to kind of stand a little bit

1037
01:08:38.160 --> 01:08:42.479
more in your confidence. And I even said, you know, whenever you coached the last time, I can

1038
01:08:42.479 --> 01:08:49.760
tell a huge change in you from the first time you came on Alive with us. And if you remember, you

1039
01:08:49.760 --> 01:08:55.520
couldn't hardly speak that first time. And your confidence is definitely growing. And so God is

1040
01:08:55.520 --> 01:09:00.960
working. We see it. It sounds, even from what you're saying, it sounds like God is really

1041
01:09:00.960 --> 01:09:05.920
encouraging you to kind of get ready, whether you're ready right now or not for the house.

1042
01:09:05.920 --> 01:09:10.080
That's okay. If you're, if you're a little scared and you're just not sure yet,

1043
01:09:10.080 --> 01:09:14.960
God will bring stuff back around. He's not going to punish you for not stepping into that. Even if

1044
01:09:14.960 --> 01:09:21.120
you felt like he was leading there, you there, he'll redirect you. But forgiving your mom for

1045
01:09:21.120 --> 01:09:25.040
that timeframe, I think is going to be really important. And even if you've already done it,

1046
01:09:25.040 --> 01:09:30.720
Ailyn, I'm just sensing like, there's probably going to be specific memories that are going to

1047
01:09:30.720 --> 01:09:37.840
come up where, again, like that expectation of just wanting her to be there. And she couldn't,

1048
01:09:37.840 --> 01:09:42.880
I don't know if there were recitals at school or sports or any kind of thing that you were a part

1049
01:09:42.880 --> 01:09:47.840
of, and she wasn't able to be there, like any of that kind of stuff. And just really continuing to

1050
01:09:47.840 --> 01:09:55.360
clean your heart out from that. Does that make sense? Yeah. And you're not, you're not stuck.

1051
01:09:55.360 --> 01:09:59.200
I think that you are in just a transition season. And so I just want you to think of,

1052
01:09:59.200 --> 01:10:00.240
you know,

1053
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:07.040
know the time that you are like with your parents that that's a transition it's for you to heal it's

1054
01:10:07.040 --> 01:10:12.320
for you to kind of get your bearings like i was saying and god will lead you in the days ahead

1055
01:10:14.400 --> 01:10:19.840
yeah and i was actually when you are naming like what i could be feeling um

1056
01:10:20.960 --> 01:10:28.560
i definitely felt abandonment and neglect even when my dad came into the picture um

1057
01:10:30.000 --> 01:10:44.480
because i just felt like i had to be perfect to be seen yeah um because like my brother

1058
01:10:45.600 --> 01:10:54.160
he was diagnosed with autism fairly young and so he required a lot of attention and teaching

1059
01:10:54.160 --> 01:11:01.760
and stuff and then at like six i was six years old my sister came into the picture

1060
01:11:02.960 --> 01:11:08.720
and then my brother two years later and so they're very loud and outspoken

1061
01:11:09.360 --> 01:11:19.680
um we're all strong-willed children for sure but i'm more of the quiet kind of strong-willed

1062
01:11:20.640 --> 01:11:25.920
and so that was very difficult for me growing up because i felt like i had to

1063
01:11:27.520 --> 01:11:37.280
prove myself and kind of like the same thing i was comparing myself to my brother he's married

1064
01:11:37.840 --> 01:11:44.560
and he's working on getting a house and so initially it was like i need to get a house

1065
01:11:44.560 --> 01:11:50.800
but then logically i can't afford a house so i'll just get a mobile home but i'm still

1066
01:11:51.680 --> 01:11:56.960
doing things to prove myself still and going to my parents for approval basically

1067
01:11:58.320 --> 01:12:02.880
yeah so it sounds like the enemy is really trying to get you caught up in that comparison trap

1068
01:12:02.880 --> 01:12:08.800
and it's okay if you're not where your brother's at right now okay your life and your journey are

1069
01:12:08.800 --> 01:12:12.800
different from his even though he's your brother and i know that can be really hard and this is

1070
01:12:12.800 --> 01:12:18.720
for everyone it really can be tough to not compare ourselves to other people but god is

1071
01:12:18.720 --> 01:12:25.680
redeeming your story he's leading you and at the right time when you can afford it when you're in

1072
01:12:25.680 --> 01:12:32.080
a better financial position for it it will be a blessing to you and not a burden because if you

1073
01:12:32.080 --> 01:12:36.720
step into something that you're not financially ready for just like i said i don't know if it

1074
01:12:36.720 --> 01:12:41.600
was last week i was talking to you all about you know we we say we want to get married we say we

1075
01:12:41.600 --> 01:12:49.920
want it and we do but so often we we literally don't know the responsibility the weight of it

1076
01:12:50.960 --> 01:12:59.520
and if we try to cause something to happen before it's time then it ends up becoming a you know not

1077
01:12:59.520 --> 01:13:09.040
a blessing to us right and so um definitely also would just um you said something in particular

1078
01:13:09.040 --> 01:13:15.760
what was it oh felt like you had to be perfect to be seen and if you guys remember tonight i've

1079
01:13:15.760 --> 01:13:21.840
been talking to you about how when we go through things with our families or people growing up or

1080
01:13:21.840 --> 01:13:28.320
situations even when we're older when we go through those then what happens if we believe those lies

1081
01:13:28.320 --> 01:13:33.920
then we tend to project those onto god so alen not only are you probably struggling with this

1082
01:13:33.920 --> 01:13:39.040
whole comparison and and just feeling like you have to be perfect to be seen by your parents

1083
01:13:40.000 --> 01:13:46.400
but on some level subconsciously there's probably some aspect of you that believes that regarding

1084
01:13:46.400 --> 01:13:52.720
god that you have to be perfect to be seen by him and so um coming out of alignment ladies with

1085
01:13:52.720 --> 01:13:59.440
these lies is really important so i would encourage you to write out the statement i aylan styles

1086
01:13:59.440 --> 01:14:04.240
come out of alignment and agreement with the lie that i have to be perfect to be seen

1087
01:14:06.160 --> 01:14:12.720
i aylan styles come into agreement that god always sees me i feel that in the holy spirit

1088
01:14:12.720 --> 01:14:20.240
his eyes are always on me and he loves me unconditionally you know where you're you're

1089
01:14:20.240 --> 01:14:26.640
and put it up where you can see it pray it out loud over yourself on a regular basis right now

1090
01:14:26.720 --> 01:14:30.640
that's going to give you some traction and you know remember ladies i'm saying in order

1091
01:14:30.640 --> 01:14:36.160
to retrain our brain from the negative pathways and the things that we believe we have to give

1092
01:14:36.160 --> 01:14:41.440
it new information and we have to speak it out loud and pray it out loud and continue to do that

1093
01:14:41.440 --> 01:14:45.520
and that's how we're going to strengthen that muscle to believe the truth and so really want

1094
01:14:45.520 --> 01:14:49.200
to encourage you in that i think it's going to be really powerful experience for you

1095
01:14:49.200 --> 01:14:55.120
we're praying for you and really appreciate you sharing with us tonight thank you you're welcome

1096
01:14:55.120 --> 01:15:00.080
god bless you tatiana go ahead

1097
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:03.000
Oh, I was muted. Hello.

1098
01:15:03.000 --> 01:15:05.000
Hello.

1099
01:15:05.000 --> 01:15:13.000
All right, so I had two things come up for me, and I feel like it's kind of tying into some things that I've been realizing recently.

1100
01:15:13.000 --> 01:15:26.000
So one was when I was in elementary I had a best friend, and she was like the best friend of all best friends, like, she was like my sister.

1101
01:15:26.000 --> 01:15:35.000
And we went through a lot together at a pretty young age. And so going into middle school. I was so excited because we were like inseparable.

1102
01:15:35.000 --> 01:15:45.000
And she ended up going to the middle school that I wanted to go to. And it was like a magnet so you had to apply, and I just went to the one closest to my house.

1103
01:15:45.000 --> 01:15:53.000
And like all of my sixth grade year, I was so just sad because I was like, I couldn't be with her as much as I was.

1104
01:15:53.000 --> 01:16:02.000
And so, kind of during that whole period like one thing she was saying was like, Oh, like you should come over here you should come over here like things will be exactly how they were.

1105
01:16:02.000 --> 01:16:06.000
And that was kind of like the sentence that came back to my mind.

1106
01:16:06.000 --> 01:16:09.000
But when I ended up going over there.

1107
01:16:09.000 --> 01:16:16.000
We had a falling out. And I became like really depressed.

1108
01:16:16.000 --> 01:16:21.000
And so that was one thing that came back to my mind today but then also.

1109
01:16:21.000 --> 01:16:37.000
I've already mentioned like a few times just struggling with intrusive thoughts, and like, for when I was younger even just a few years ago like I was trying to do everything I could in my power to like, make it stop to like get free from that.

1110
01:16:37.000 --> 01:16:48.000
And I had two friends that I went to church with for like a long time like we pretty much grew up in church together, and they had a falling out with the church, and they ended up going somewhere else.

1111
01:16:49.000 --> 01:17:06.000
And so they would invite me to come to the delivery and services and so I went to a few. And in my head. I think this was just like an expectation I set for myself I was like okay this is the thing like this is where God is going to set me free, and then like, everything is going to go back to how it was.

1112
01:17:06.000 --> 01:17:12.000
And like, it just never happened. And I saw like them getting just so much freedom.

1113
01:17:12.000 --> 01:17:18.000
And I was kind of just like God like, like I'm here like where are you.

1114
01:17:18.000 --> 01:17:32.000
And so those are some things that came up. And recently I've realized that like I'm taking so long to work through the content, and I keep telling myself like oh it's because I'm working on doing this like I'm doing all these things.

1115
01:17:33.000 --> 01:17:55.000
But if I like structured things right, like, I could do at least like 30 minutes a day. And I feel like I've just been so disappointed that I like put things off because I'm scared that like what if I, what if I worried everything what if I finish, and, and I'm still struggling with these things.

1116
01:17:55.000 --> 01:18:14.000
And so I'm, I'm just kind of scared honestly. And so, like, I've gotten freedom in so many areas, but I feel like the one thing that I want the most like still know and so yeah I've been working through things slow and I think that's a reason why.

1117
01:18:14.000 --> 01:18:28.000
Yeah. So Tatiana is always just number one, I think it's important for all of us understand some of you are still going to be struggling with some things you've already been struggling with, even as you move forward.

1118
01:18:29.000 --> 01:18:46.000
And I'm not saying that to discourage you, or to cause you to be afraid, but I want you to understand that sometimes like you're still in process that's why we're taking imperfect action. Right, we're learning as we go and from glory to glory.

1119
01:18:46.000 --> 01:19:11.000
And so I don't want you to feel like you're just the same that you were before because you're not, you're not. And so some of this, it's interesting because one of the things I felt led to say tonight when y'all were in the breakout room was, you know, I forget exactly how I said it but I felt led to really speak into how important it is for us to take authority.

1120
01:19:11.000 --> 01:19:34.000
To take authority in, in kind of carrying out the things that God is, is telling us and partnering with God in the process and how so many times part of the struggle is that we don't know I know you've been praying I know that you, again, you even told us tonight, you went to these deliverance things you're trying to break free from those intrusive thoughts I know that's been really tough for you.

1121
01:19:34.000 --> 01:20:00.000
I can't remember if I've ever asked you this but when you said, and you've said it before. And so, again, I'm not sure if I already asked you this but when you said tonight. God I'm here, where are you. I feel like someone in your family line has prayed that same prayer, or something similar, Tatiana, where I, I really, and again I don't know if I've already said

1122
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:04.960
you before. I really believe part of the reason you're struggling so much with the intrusive

1123
01:20:04.960 --> 01:20:11.280
thoughts is because of the dynamic of the covering of your home and that other people

1124
01:20:12.080 --> 01:20:18.080
over you are struggling with things and it's impacting you. Unfortunately, you can't leave

1125
01:20:18.080 --> 01:20:23.680
right now. That's your home. That's where you're living. One day, hopefully, and I'm not saying

1126
01:20:23.680 --> 01:20:29.440
they're bad people. I'm just saying I think some of what you deal with is because of those dynamics

1127
01:20:29.440 --> 01:20:39.200
of the covering. Generationally, I want you all to understand while a lot of religious circles,

1128
01:20:39.200 --> 01:20:42.320
and I don't mean that in a bad way, but church circles, however you want to say it,

1129
01:20:42.320 --> 01:20:48.160
spiritual circles, they talk a lot about generational curses, but I want to encourage

1130
01:20:48.160 --> 01:20:53.920
you all to, which I'm so grateful that Jackie Dorman taught me this and I learned this in this

1131
01:20:53.920 --> 01:21:00.480
course in this community, to really also understand that there are generational blessings that can get

1132
01:21:00.480 --> 01:21:05.920
released and that it's important for us to partner with those more than we even focus on

1133
01:21:06.640 --> 01:21:13.200
the enemy. What's kind of coming up in my spirit is I feel like it's going to be

1134
01:21:13.200 --> 01:21:19.920
important for you to study scriptures. When I say study, even just reading them and asking

1135
01:21:19.920 --> 01:21:26.720
God about them, where it talks about the light overcoming the darkness, the more of the light of

1136
01:21:26.720 --> 01:21:31.440
Christ that's in you, and this isn't about you being perfect, it's about, again, you healing,

1137
01:21:32.480 --> 01:21:38.720
you knowing that the blood of Jesus Christ covers you no matter what your home covering is, and so

1138
01:21:38.720 --> 01:21:45.200
while it is hard on your way through, man, you're learning so much stuff in this process, and I know

1139
01:21:45.200 --> 01:21:51.840
that that doesn't make it easier, I know it doesn't, but what you are learning is literally, I believe,

1140
01:21:51.840 --> 01:21:56.640
going to be useful for the next generation. I think that God is going to use you massively

1141
01:21:56.640 --> 01:22:02.560
to help other people break free, and I mean, I can even tell you there are so many things that

1142
01:22:02.560 --> 01:22:08.080
I remember just asking God to deliver me from them, and I didn't understand why I didn't either

1143
01:22:08.080 --> 01:22:13.120
in the sense of like the way that he was teaching me about freedom, just from the abuse that I had

1144
01:22:13.120 --> 01:22:18.800
went through growing up, and all of those things, my dad being a drug addict, an alcoholic, and now

1145
01:22:18.800 --> 01:22:25.760
all these years later, you know, those moments when I get coaching clients, and they're trying to break

1146
01:22:25.760 --> 01:22:31.280
free from a cycle where their parent is an addict, and they're struggling, and they feel guilty, and

1147
01:22:31.280 --> 01:22:38.000
all this stuff, and I praise the Lord because of God's grace and his like wisdom that he's given

1148
01:22:38.000 --> 01:22:45.760
me through all this, I can help them learn how to become a healthy person outside of the chaos,

1149
01:22:46.880 --> 01:22:51.440
and so I just want to encourage you again, like, I know it doesn't make it easy in the moment and

1150
01:22:51.440 --> 01:22:56.640
right now, but everything you're learning is not going to be wasted, and you, like, you aren't even

1151
01:22:56.640 --> 01:23:02.640
the same person that you were either when you came in. I know that I don't see you in person, but

1152
01:23:02.640 --> 01:23:08.400
I have seen you show up in this group for a long time, and I know who you're becoming. I know who

1153
01:23:08.400 --> 01:23:13.120
you were when you came in. I know who you're becoming, and you are on your way. I also want to

1154
01:23:13.120 --> 01:23:18.480
encourage you in this. You are one of the youngest people in our community. I don't know if you know

1155
01:23:18.480 --> 01:23:25.600
that, but you are, and you represent something so beautiful about where Last Year Single is going,

1156
01:23:25.600 --> 01:23:29.920
and I want to encourage you to give yourself some grace. You're learning how to adult,

1157
01:23:30.880 --> 01:23:37.200
okay? I'm not saying don't try to work on your schedule. I think, yes, do that. Work on that when

1158
01:23:37.200 --> 01:23:43.360
you can, but, you know, I just feel like your mom's been really hard on you lately, and I think that

1159
01:23:43.360 --> 01:23:53.280
you tend to be really hard on yourself, so let's set a small goal. If you feel like right now doing

1160
01:23:53.280 --> 01:23:59.680
it every day doesn't feel as doable, what about four days of the week you do 30 minutes? You know,

1161
01:23:59.760 --> 01:24:03.920
where you set a goal that feels more achievable, and it doesn't feel like you have to do it

1162
01:24:03.920 --> 01:24:10.240
perfectly, and on a day where you don't, I want you to practice praying. Tatiana,

1163
01:24:11.280 --> 01:24:18.080
I forgive you for not working on it yesterday, and today I can work on it. It's not that you did

1164
01:24:18.080 --> 01:24:24.080
something bad necessarily, but the reason that I'm encouraging you to even pray that towards yourself

1165
01:24:24.080 --> 01:24:29.600
is because as soon as you do, it's going to release grace towards yourself instead of harshness and

1166
01:24:29.680 --> 01:24:37.760
judgment and just this like critical spirit that I feel like is trying to harass you, so to speak,

1167
01:24:37.760 --> 01:24:41.680
and, you know, again, that's where I think even some of that stuff comes in, those intrusive

1168
01:24:41.680 --> 01:24:49.040
thoughts and all that, and your day is coming. I know you probably get tired of me saying that to

1169
01:24:49.040 --> 01:24:55.200
you, but the victory is coming, and you are breaking through this thing, and you are on your

1170
01:24:55.200 --> 01:24:59.760
way, so just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Regarding the...

1171
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:01.360
middle school stuff, I almost forgot.

1172
01:25:01.360 --> 01:25:02.920
I wanted to say this really quickly,

1173
01:25:02.920 --> 01:25:05.500
and then I am gonna go over to Danielle.

1174
01:25:07.040 --> 01:25:09.800
You had two situations that are coming up tonight

1175
01:25:09.800 --> 01:25:11.020
that are very similar,

1176
01:25:11.020 --> 01:25:13.700
even though they're different dynamics, okay?

1177
01:25:13.700 --> 01:25:18.700
You were with people, you were close to them,

1178
01:25:19.000 --> 01:25:21.300
and then something in life changed,

1179
01:25:21.300 --> 01:25:23.160
and you guys were separated,

1180
01:25:23.160 --> 01:25:26.120
and you were wanting things to be back to normal.

1181
01:25:26.120 --> 01:25:27.620
Most people experience that

1182
01:25:27.620 --> 01:25:29.880
when we go through transitions and change,

1183
01:25:29.980 --> 01:25:32.700
but sometimes it can be more severe

1184
01:25:32.700 --> 01:25:36.220
if things at home are disturbed as well, okay?

1185
01:25:37.060 --> 01:25:39.660
And so when you went back,

1186
01:25:39.660 --> 01:25:42.540
did you do any forgiveness prayer sheets

1187
01:25:42.540 --> 01:25:45.320
to forgive your friend from middle school?

1188
01:25:45.320 --> 01:25:46.160
For whatever it is-

1189
01:25:46.160 --> 01:25:46.980
I did.

1190
01:25:46.980 --> 01:25:47.820
You did already?

1191
01:25:48.980 --> 01:25:50.580
Awesome, that's great.

1192
01:25:50.580 --> 01:25:53.780
So I would just continue to thank God for that memory,

1193
01:25:53.780 --> 01:25:54.940
and since you've already done

1194
01:25:54.940 --> 01:25:56.220
a forgiveness prayer sheet on that,

1195
01:25:56.220 --> 01:25:57.920
and just ask him if there's anything else

1196
01:25:57.940 --> 01:26:00.180
he wants you to know about that situation,

1197
01:26:00.180 --> 01:26:02.500
because it came up again tonight.

1198
01:26:02.500 --> 01:26:04.540
Yeah, and I think the Soul Ties session

1199
01:26:04.540 --> 01:26:05.980
is gonna be big on that one,

1200
01:26:07.020 --> 01:26:10.920
because, yeah, when we were growing up,

1201
01:26:10.920 --> 01:26:11.780
when we were in elementary,

1202
01:26:11.780 --> 01:26:14.660
her brother passed away of cancer,

1203
01:26:14.660 --> 01:26:17.380
and so there was a lot of times where,

1204
01:26:17.380 --> 01:26:18.700
because we did everything together,

1205
01:26:18.700 --> 01:26:21.540
and so I remember sometimes she would just come over,

1206
01:26:21.540 --> 01:26:23.020
and we would just cry,

1207
01:26:23.020 --> 01:26:25.260
and I mean, we were so little,

1208
01:26:25.260 --> 01:26:27.260
and the year before that happened,

1209
01:26:27.260 --> 01:26:30.300
my favorite teacher had passed away of cancer as well,

1210
01:26:30.300 --> 01:26:33.720
and so we were kind of really grieving

1211
01:26:33.720 --> 01:26:35.760
at a very young age together,

1212
01:26:35.760 --> 01:26:37.360
and so I think that was a big thing,

1213
01:26:37.360 --> 01:26:40.760
and one thing he's kind of spoken to me was,

1214
01:26:40.760 --> 01:26:42.480
well, I think this is what he said to me,

1215
01:26:42.480 --> 01:26:44.680
was that it was hard for her to reconnect with me,

1216
01:26:44.680 --> 01:26:47.120
because aside from her brother being her best friend,

1217
01:26:47.120 --> 01:26:48.200
it was me,

1218
01:26:48.200 --> 01:26:51.980
and so I think I just reminded her a lot of those times,

1219
01:26:51.980 --> 01:26:54.080
and I think that was really hard for her.

1220
01:26:55.020 --> 01:26:57.580
Okay, so here's the other thing.

1221
01:26:57.580 --> 01:27:00.460
We just found a common denominator

1222
01:27:00.460 --> 01:27:02.360
regarding these intrusive thoughts.

1223
01:27:05.140 --> 01:27:07.700
I don't know if you've ever noticed that before,

1224
01:27:07.700 --> 01:27:11.100
but you just said your friend,

1225
01:27:11.100 --> 01:27:12.660
your little, her friend,

1226
01:27:12.660 --> 01:27:15.140
or her brother, excuse me, dies of cancer.

1227
01:27:15.140 --> 01:27:15.980
She comes over,

1228
01:27:15.980 --> 01:27:17.600
and you guys just cry together,

1229
01:27:17.600 --> 01:27:18.700
and you're grieving,

1230
01:27:18.700 --> 01:27:20.620
and that wasn't a bad thing,

1231
01:27:20.620 --> 01:27:22.820
but what's happening is you guys were getting stuck

1232
01:27:22.820 --> 01:27:23.880
in this deep grief,

1233
01:27:24.680 --> 01:27:26.060
like you're going way deep into grief,

1234
01:27:26.060 --> 01:27:27.940
and then you said my favorite teacher

1235
01:27:27.940 --> 01:27:29.820
also passed away of cancer,

1236
01:27:29.820 --> 01:27:33.540
so there's another deep death kind of loss

1237
01:27:33.540 --> 01:27:35.260
as a young child.

1238
01:27:35.260 --> 01:27:37.320
I still think there's ties to family,

1239
01:27:37.320 --> 01:27:38.980
but I do think you should do

1240
01:27:38.980 --> 01:27:43.460
the Breaking Soul Ties session this week, Tatiana, okay?

1241
01:27:43.460 --> 01:27:44.400
Okay.

1242
01:27:44.400 --> 01:27:46.660
Yeah, and don't be afraid of it, okay?

1243
01:27:46.660 --> 01:27:49.020
Just process whatever comes up.

1244
01:27:49.020 --> 01:27:51.140
Don't feel like you have to force anything,

1245
01:27:51.140 --> 01:27:53.800
but enmeshment comes to mind,

1246
01:27:54.620 --> 01:27:56.420
codependency comes to mind on your friend,

1247
01:27:56.420 --> 01:27:57.380
and deep grief,

1248
01:27:57.380 --> 01:28:00.300
so sometimes we can even,

1249
01:28:00.300 --> 01:28:03.400
you all have soul ties to people who have passed away.

1250
01:28:05.420 --> 01:28:08.040
Yeah, so let's just see what comes up.

1251
01:28:08.040 --> 01:28:10.420
Let us know in the group how it goes

1252
01:28:10.420 --> 01:28:12.460
after you watch that session, okay?

1253
01:28:12.460 --> 01:28:14.240
And make sure you have a journal handy

1254
01:28:14.240 --> 01:28:16.540
to just anything that comes up,

1255
01:28:16.540 --> 01:28:18.460
and really be unfiltered,

1256
01:28:18.460 --> 01:28:19.900
so don't hold things back.

1257
01:28:19.900 --> 01:28:22.900
Whatever needs to come out, let it come out.

1258
01:28:24.400 --> 01:28:26.800
Okay, and if you need to burn that or anything,

1259
01:28:26.800 --> 01:28:27.680
not that you would,

1260
01:28:27.680 --> 01:28:30.320
but because you're in your parents' home,

1261
01:28:30.320 --> 01:28:31.760
you can always burn that paper

1262
01:28:31.760 --> 01:28:33.840
so that nobody reads it and all that kind of stuff,

1263
01:28:33.840 --> 01:28:36.560
but it's important for that stuff to come out of you.

1264
01:28:36.560 --> 01:28:37.400
Okay.

1265
01:28:37.400 --> 01:28:38.720
Okay.

1266
01:28:38.720 --> 01:28:39.840
Awesome, thank you.

1267
01:28:39.840 --> 01:28:41.460
Yeah, you've got this.

1268
01:28:41.460 --> 01:28:43.440
We're praying for you.

1269
01:28:43.440 --> 01:28:44.580
Thank you so much for sharing.

1270
01:28:44.580 --> 01:28:45.820
Danielle, go ahead.

1271
01:28:47.440 --> 01:28:51.880
All right, so I shared about how

1272
01:28:51.880 --> 01:28:53.280
the first thing that came to my mind

1273
01:28:53.800 --> 01:28:56.960
about the broken promise was my fiance

1274
01:28:56.960 --> 01:28:59.280
ended things right before our wedding,

1275
01:28:59.280 --> 01:29:01.080
and he was my best guy friend,

1276
01:29:01.080 --> 01:29:02.320
and I was in love,

1277
01:29:02.320 --> 01:29:05.740
and it was a truly a dream come true moment for me

1278
01:29:05.740 --> 01:29:09.480
where I got in a man, in a future, in a vision,

1279
01:29:09.480 --> 01:29:11.480
both what I wanted and needed.

1280
01:29:11.480 --> 01:29:14.480
I felt like God really abundantly blessed the both of us,

1281
01:29:14.480 --> 01:29:18.920
and we did all things just incredibly well,

1282
01:29:18.920 --> 01:29:21.240
and still got a broken heart out of it,

1283
01:29:21.240 --> 01:29:23.640
and so since then, that was a decade ago,

1284
01:29:23.640 --> 01:29:26.680
I've been on and off dating,

1285
01:29:26.680 --> 01:29:27.920
couple of relationships,

1286
01:29:27.920 --> 01:29:29.240
none of them really worked out,

1287
01:29:29.240 --> 01:29:32.280
been on a lot of first dates, a lot,

1288
01:29:32.280 --> 01:29:36.880
and I think since then, I've been attracting like,

1289
01:29:36.880 --> 01:29:39.880
I feel like I want you, but I don't need you,

1290
01:29:39.880 --> 01:29:43.200
or I feel like I need you, but I don't actually want you,

1291
01:29:43.200 --> 01:29:45.580
and there's been like this heart in me

1292
01:29:45.580 --> 01:29:46.420
that's kind of like,

1293
01:29:46.420 --> 01:29:48.480
God, I know you're gonna provide for my needs.

1294
01:29:48.480 --> 01:29:51.080
I've seen that so well.

1295
01:29:51.920 --> 01:29:53.320
I have no doubt you're gonna provide for my needs,

1296
01:29:53.320 --> 01:29:55.000
but my wants,

1297
01:29:55.000 --> 01:29:57.080
because like I was the type of woman who came in,

1298
01:29:57.080 --> 01:29:59.160
I went to the book club this summer,

1299
01:29:59.160 --> 01:30:00.880
I don't know if anyone else came in.

1300
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:03.320
and through that, but I learned about preferences versus non-negotiable.

1301
01:30:03.320 --> 01:30:08.640
And I had like 60 preferences and 15 non-negotiables narrower than down

1302
01:30:08.640 --> 01:30:10.920
to six and actually really two.

1303
01:30:11.320 --> 01:30:11.880
That's good.

1304
01:30:11.880 --> 01:30:12.360
Okay.

1305
01:30:12.360 --> 01:30:17.160
So that's kind of what I want, but then there's this also part of me that I

1306
01:30:17.160 --> 01:30:21.840
could use some also support on is, and you said it to, you were like, I was

1307
01:30:21.840 --> 01:30:29.580
bringing people up to me and I, I find myself still, I mean, I'm not

1308
01:30:29.580 --> 01:30:30.460
dating, right?

1309
01:30:30.480 --> 01:30:34.080
Um, I was gonna, I was gonna end in like two days and I'm like, I think I

1310
01:30:34.080 --> 01:30:35.540
need to stay a little bit longer.

1311
01:30:35.540 --> 01:30:40.360
But the other thing is a good friend of mine, right before heartwork

1312
01:30:40.360 --> 01:30:43.420
started, asked me out and I said, yes.

1313
01:30:43.860 --> 01:30:44.360
Okay.

1314
01:30:44.440 --> 01:30:47.700
And, uh, two great, fantastic dates.

1315
01:30:47.740 --> 01:30:49.220
Ooh, I'm getting all nervous talking about it.

1316
01:30:49.220 --> 01:30:52.780
Cause I really like him and there's not, there's no one else on the roster.

1317
01:30:52.780 --> 01:30:55.460
There's no other guys, but his name's Elliot.

1318
01:30:56.080 --> 01:31:00.700
And after, right after our second date, uh, he basically went into a custody

1319
01:31:00.700 --> 01:31:07.260
battle unbeknownst, and he has had full custody for six years of his children.

1320
01:31:07.360 --> 01:31:10.820
And I'm just torn.

1321
01:31:10.860 --> 01:31:13.760
Like, I feel torn again.

1322
01:31:13.760 --> 01:31:14.540
What do I want?

1323
01:31:14.540 --> 01:31:15.200
What do I need?

1324
01:31:15.200 --> 01:31:20.820
I can, I'm open to pretty much a lot of things at this point, but where's that

1325
01:31:20.820 --> 01:31:27.120
line of like, I don't want to bring people, men up to me, but men need help.

1326
01:31:27.420 --> 01:31:33.360
But I'm a strong feminine that I think could really match and pull up a masculine.

1327
01:31:33.420 --> 01:31:36.460
And do you see, I don't know.

1328
01:31:36.460 --> 01:31:40.820
I'm still a little confused in my spirit, like what I want, what I need.

1329
01:31:41.120 --> 01:31:45.700
Well, and part of it to see that's the fixer, your counterfeit fixer identity.

1330
01:31:45.700 --> 01:31:47.340
Let me pull something out real quick.

1331
01:31:48.340 --> 01:31:51.020
Can't remember if I shared this with you guys last week.

1332
01:31:51.580 --> 01:31:54.220
Um, but, oh, it's in my phone.

1333
01:31:54.220 --> 01:31:54.900
Hold on one sec.

1334
01:31:55.100 --> 01:31:55.540
Sorry.

1335
01:31:55.940 --> 01:31:57.420
I thought it was on my paper notes.

1336
01:31:57.900 --> 01:32:03.100
Um, when you guys get into additional phases, we do advanced heartwork.

1337
01:32:03.100 --> 01:32:07.620
And I did a session last week for our phase three ladies and gentlemen.

1338
01:32:08.340 --> 01:32:10.620
And there's something I want to share.

1339
01:32:10.900 --> 01:32:12.860
Um, so sorry.

1340
01:32:12.900 --> 01:32:13.900
I will find it here.

1341
01:32:14.380 --> 01:32:14.820
Okay.

1342
01:32:15.420 --> 01:32:22.060
So, you know, when these counterfeits tend to show up the fixer, the wound

1343
01:32:22.060 --> 01:32:29.900
underneath says I'm only valuable when I'm needed, we tend to attract people

1344
01:32:29.900 --> 01:32:37.340
who need rescuing, here's another one that I think just based off of what you

1345
01:32:37.340 --> 01:32:43.700
were saying, the strong one counterfeit, the wound underneath tends to say no

1346
01:32:43.700 --> 01:32:46.220
one showed up, so I don't need anyone.

1347
01:32:48.780 --> 01:32:49.100
Yeah.

1348
01:32:49.100 --> 01:32:53.940
People we tend to attract when we're leaning into that counterfeit are people

1349
01:32:53.940 --> 01:32:58.500
who have never, I'm sorry, people who never have to actually show up, like,

1350
01:32:59.620 --> 01:33:03.980
even though we want them to show up, we really do, but they don't really

1351
01:33:03.980 --> 01:33:05.540
ever follow through and do that.

1352
01:33:08.340 --> 01:33:12.740
And there's more, but I feel like just as you're talking, the

1353
01:33:12.780 --> 01:33:15.260
fixer is what kind of jumped out at me.

1354
01:33:16.060 --> 01:33:18.740
Um, I'm not saying that's the case with this guy.

1355
01:33:18.740 --> 01:33:25.460
I'd have to know a lot more about the situation, but even when you said, I'm

1356
01:33:25.460 --> 01:33:29.580
a strong feminine, so I can pull up the masculine and you even did the hand

1357
01:33:29.580 --> 01:33:30.900
and everything, which is great.

1358
01:33:30.900 --> 01:33:31.540
Cause I'm a hand.

1359
01:33:32.980 --> 01:33:33.140
Yeah.

1360
01:33:33.140 --> 01:33:33.460
Yeah.

1361
01:33:33.580 --> 01:33:36.020
I, and I get what you're saying, but here's the thing.

1362
01:33:36.260 --> 01:33:38.780
This is where I want you to really practice shifting.

1363
01:33:39.420 --> 01:33:39.900
Okay.

1364
01:33:41.540 --> 01:33:48.980
A healthy man is going to be able to walk in his divine masculine on his own.

1365
01:33:51.540 --> 01:33:51.980
Okay.

1366
01:33:52.420 --> 01:33:56.420
And I get what you're saying, because now when I came together with my husband,

1367
01:33:56.780 --> 01:34:01.580
there's certain spiritual DNA and both of us that got kicked up in a sense.

1368
01:34:01.940 --> 01:34:04.860
And I have been able to speak a lot of life into him.

1369
01:34:04.860 --> 01:34:09.620
There was a lot of things that his ex wife really like beat him down verbally.

1370
01:34:09.620 --> 01:34:14.420
And so, um, like a big project he's working on right now.

1371
01:34:14.460 --> 01:34:17.900
Like I literally was like, Hey, like I see this in you, but you've

1372
01:34:17.900 --> 01:34:19.620
got to make that decision for yourself.

1373
01:34:19.660 --> 01:34:21.100
You've got to see it in yourself.

1374
01:34:21.460 --> 01:34:23.140
And then it's up to him to choose.

1375
01:34:23.140 --> 01:34:23.540
Right.

1376
01:34:23.940 --> 01:34:31.180
And so we can be, you know, that person, that easier, that speaks life, but we

1377
01:34:31.220 --> 01:34:34.100
cannot make them step into their divine masculine.

1378
01:34:34.100 --> 01:34:35.260
They have to do it.

1379
01:34:36.700 --> 01:34:39.780
And so there's a difference there when we take ownership.

1380
01:34:40.460 --> 01:34:43.540
And I'm not saying you're, you even mean to, but I can just tell by the way

1381
01:34:43.540 --> 01:34:49.620
you describe that subconsciously, I think that kicks up in you a lot where you feel

1382
01:34:49.620 --> 01:34:51.540
like you have to get them ready.

1383
01:34:51.540 --> 01:34:55.260
You have to help them become who they're supposed to be.

1384
01:34:55.580 --> 01:34:58.940
And again, there is some of that when we get married to our spirit mate as an

1385
01:34:58.940 --> 01:34:59.940
easier word and.

1386
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:06.400
And even like, you know, Brian is my husband. He helps me too. So we encourage one another.

1387
01:35:06.400 --> 01:35:13.520
There's a mutuality there. There's teamwork. It's not one of us always helping the other person.

1388
01:35:13.520 --> 01:35:18.480
Does that make sense? Yeah. Because you're not trying to marry potential.

1389
01:35:20.080 --> 01:35:23.440
See, and then Jackie's like, make sure you leave room for potential.

1390
01:35:24.160 --> 01:35:27.440
Well, yes, there's balance in there. How much though?

1391
01:35:28.800 --> 01:35:33.440
How? Yeah. So you're, you're looking for the, the, you know, the writing on the wall,

1392
01:35:33.440 --> 01:35:40.480
and I'm not saying that's a bad thing, but there's a difference between when she says that,

1393
01:35:40.480 --> 01:35:46.960
okay, what she's saying is that, you know, like, for example, what I'm saying to you,

1394
01:35:47.840 --> 01:35:54.560
my husband has absolutely grown into a healthier, stronger man since I've met him,

1395
01:35:54.560 --> 01:36:00.560
even then he was when I met him, I have too. So that's where that potential, you know,

1396
01:36:00.560 --> 01:36:08.400
he dresses a little better, you know, why? Because there is room for potential there.

1397
01:36:08.400 --> 01:36:14.480
Sometimes, you know, us saying, Hey, like, I think you should consider doing this maybe instead,

1398
01:36:14.480 --> 01:36:18.000
you know, and you let that percolate in them, and then they make their own decision,

1399
01:36:18.560 --> 01:36:26.400
versus like us shifting into being a mom and momming people, even our men.

1400
01:36:28.640 --> 01:36:35.840
And so potential doesn't mean we're saying, like the difference, I'm just trying to make sure I

1401
01:36:35.840 --> 01:36:42.240
define it really well. Like, when I say to you, we can't marry potential, what I'm saying to you

1402
01:36:42.880 --> 01:36:47.040
is that we can't fantasize that someone is going to be somebody that they're not.

1403
01:36:49.440 --> 01:36:55.920
And marry potential, for example, especially when someone's super unhealthy, and they do

1404
01:36:55.920 --> 01:37:00.720
a lot of gaslighting, and they do a lot of love bombing and all that kind of stuff,

1405
01:37:00.720 --> 01:37:06.720
because they're putting this big, what I would call amazing foot forward in the beginning,

1406
01:37:06.720 --> 01:37:11.760
but they're really not that person. And so they can't maintain that for a long time.

1407
01:37:11.760 --> 01:37:19.840
So eventually, that person leaves and they they they're not there. But then what happens is a lot

1408
01:37:19.840 --> 01:37:26.320
of us who have fallen into that before we get hung up on the Wait a minute, where did that guy go?

1409
01:37:26.320 --> 01:37:33.840
And then we we wait for that guy to return. But he didn't even exist. Or she women do it too.

1410
01:37:34.480 --> 01:37:37.600
So what I'm saying is like, sometimes people that's where again,

1411
01:37:38.160 --> 01:37:43.280
we we see some kind of potential in them, and they can be a great person,

1412
01:37:43.280 --> 01:37:51.200
and they can become a great minister or whatever our thing is, versus marrying someone that

1413
01:37:51.200 --> 01:37:59.280
literally we already see potential in them. And we see that there's still more potential for them to

1414
01:37:59.280 --> 01:38:07.760
grow. But the potential lines up with our like we match in a sense. Is that is that more helpful?

1415
01:38:07.760 --> 01:38:13.200
Are you? I know it can be tough. And part of it, Danielle, is that you're gonna have to just

1416
01:38:13.200 --> 01:38:20.400
practice and start to pay attention to when you go on dates. You know, one of the things that I did

1417
01:38:20.400 --> 01:38:25.360
that was super helpful for me, because in the past, I would I would meet someone and I would

1418
01:38:25.360 --> 01:38:30.240
just only date one person and I would just be totally focused on them. And it was really bad

1419
01:38:30.240 --> 01:38:34.960
for me that I did that. And so when I went through the program, after I was finished with heartwork,

1420
01:38:34.960 --> 01:38:38.320
for those of you that don't know, we do encourage you to press pause on dating when you're here in

1421
01:38:38.320 --> 01:38:45.600
the heartwork. But when you finish, this is when I was doing this. So I look because I needed to

1422
01:38:45.600 --> 01:38:52.480
process what I was experiencing and think it through and not just kind of hone in on what I

1423
01:38:52.480 --> 01:38:58.160
thought I saw or what I wanted to see in someone. And so I got a poster board and I literally

1424
01:38:59.360 --> 01:39:05.280
like had columns for the guys I was going on dates with and or even just guys that I hadn't

1425
01:39:05.280 --> 01:39:10.640
been on a date with, but like really was interested in something about them. And then what I would do

1426
01:39:10.640 --> 01:39:17.520
is when I would go on a date or have a phone call or whatever video chat, I would like, okay, what

1427
01:39:17.520 --> 01:39:24.320
were the green flags? Were there any yellow flags? Were there any red flags? How did I feel on that

1428
01:39:24.320 --> 01:39:32.240
date? And then like one guy in particular for me, because I had been, I was married before and I

1429
01:39:32.240 --> 01:39:37.200
have a stepson from that. And that was a really hard situation navigating that with the ex,

1430
01:39:38.160 --> 01:39:44.240
his ex. And then when I was with my spiritual daughter's dad, there was a whole chaotic

1431
01:39:44.800 --> 01:39:50.720
dynamic with his ex and he wasn't healthy either. So it was just a lot of chaos. So this one guy I

1432
01:39:50.720 --> 01:39:56.640
was talking to, um, mentioned pretty early on, there were some things I liked about him. He was

1433
01:39:56.640 --> 01:40:00.000
a Christian. He was a hip hop dancer. I love dance. So I was like, oh,

1434
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:02.260
Oh, that's kind of cool, you know.

1435
01:40:02.260 --> 01:40:07.600
But what I noticed is that he kept talking about this drama

1436
01:40:08.180 --> 01:40:11.720
with he had a baby with the baby mama.

1437
01:40:12.380 --> 01:40:15.520
And I don't mean that derogatory, but that's just the reality.

1438
01:40:15.820 --> 01:40:18.720
And I just every time he talked about it, I just kept thinking,

1439
01:40:19.560 --> 01:40:23.020
I don't want to deal with that again.

1440
01:40:24.020 --> 01:40:27.460
Now, I'm I'm married, Brian, he has an ex.

1441
01:40:27.920 --> 01:40:32.420
His ex-wife isn't super healthy, but there was enough distance

1442
01:40:32.420 --> 01:40:36.800
between their divorce and their situation

1443
01:40:37.060 --> 01:40:41.640
that it wasn't like I was going right into a big, chaotic whirlwind.

1444
01:40:41.760 --> 01:40:43.800
Does that make sense?

1445
01:40:44.180 --> 01:40:47.840
Yeah. And so I'm not saying to you, and I'm not even sharing that story

1446
01:40:47.840 --> 01:40:50.320
to discourage you from getting to know this guy more.

1447
01:40:50.320 --> 01:40:51.280
I know you're friends with him,

1448
01:40:51.280 --> 01:40:55.080
but it's different to be friends with someone and to date them.

1449
01:40:55.640 --> 01:40:57.700
I'm not trying to discourage you from doing that.

1450
01:40:57.700 --> 01:41:01.120
You need to to when you're done with heartwork, date him

1451
01:41:01.120 --> 01:41:03.420
and figure that part out for yourself.

1452
01:41:03.420 --> 01:41:08.080
But I am saying that when we recognize and we slow down,

1453
01:41:08.380 --> 01:41:11.760
we recognize things that we're just kind of like, OK, yeah,

1454
01:41:11.760 --> 01:41:15.560
I've done that before and I don't really want to do that again.

1455
01:41:15.600 --> 01:41:19.100
So for me, for example.

1456
01:41:19.100 --> 01:41:22.020
My daughter's ex or my daughter's.

1457
01:41:22.800 --> 01:41:23.960
What am I trying to say?

1458
01:41:23.960 --> 01:41:28.300
My spiritual daughter's dad, my ex-husband and another guy

1459
01:41:28.300 --> 01:41:33.060
I dated, three people in a row all had sex addiction problems

1460
01:41:33.060 --> 01:41:35.800
and struggled with pornography.

1461
01:41:35.800 --> 01:41:39.860
Three people in a row and betrayal.

1462
01:41:41.100 --> 01:41:45.480
And so I knew that for me,

1463
01:41:46.280 --> 01:41:49.780
I was not going to date someone that had,

1464
01:41:50.000 --> 01:41:53.660
even if it was in their past and they had already overcome it.

1465
01:41:54.160 --> 01:41:57.000
I was not going to be a good match for someone

1466
01:41:57.300 --> 01:42:00.880
with that in their background or even a current struggle with that.

1467
01:42:01.180 --> 01:42:02.840
Not a good match for me.

1468
01:42:02.840 --> 01:42:06.260
I lived that life already, and that was not fun.

1469
01:42:06.260 --> 01:42:08.380
And I was not going to go back into that.

1470
01:42:08.380 --> 01:42:13.060
And so those were some things for me where I started just drawing some lines.

1471
01:42:14.180 --> 01:42:17.980
Because I knew what capacity I had and I knew what capacity

1472
01:42:18.020 --> 01:42:19.380
I did not have anymore.

1473
01:42:19.380 --> 01:42:21.020
So that makes sense.

1474
01:42:21.020 --> 01:42:23.680
Yeah. Is it OK that I respond to that really quick and ask?

1475
01:42:23.680 --> 01:42:24.600
Absolutely.

1476
01:42:24.600 --> 01:42:26.900
I want to acknowledge the time and everybody.

1477
01:42:26.900 --> 01:42:31.560
OK, so it's that once again, you said, I don't want to do that again.

1478
01:42:31.560 --> 01:42:35.940
And I think I have a lot of capacity for a while.

1479
01:42:35.940 --> 01:42:39.200
I was actually going to be a single foster mom not that long ago.

1480
01:42:39.200 --> 01:42:41.960
And I currently foster adults and in my home.

1481
01:42:41.960 --> 01:42:43.380
And I just I do.

1482
01:42:43.380 --> 01:42:47.260
I have I have grace for trauma and pain and addiction.

1483
01:42:47.280 --> 01:42:47.940
And a lot of it.

1484
01:42:47.940 --> 01:42:53.460
However, I really still struggle with, Lord, where is this line

1485
01:42:53.460 --> 01:42:58.840
of I don't want to do that, but maybe you're calling me to do that.

1486
01:42:59.580 --> 01:43:00.420
And then I'm like.

1487
01:43:01.640 --> 01:43:04.460
What you have for me is good, but what if I don't like it?

1488
01:43:05.300 --> 01:43:06.800
That's kind of.

1489
01:43:06.800 --> 01:43:11.220
Yeah, I guess I'm like preference, but that's a preference.

1490
01:43:11.220 --> 01:43:13.300
But I thought it was a non-negotiable.

1491
01:43:13.300 --> 01:43:15.360
And then I'm like, am I overthinking all this again?

1492
01:43:16.200 --> 01:43:17.520
Yeah, kind of a little bit.

1493
01:43:17.520 --> 01:43:22.880
So this is where you can, as you practice dating in the next phase,

1494
01:43:22.880 --> 01:43:25.020
this is where you're going to get that out.

1495
01:43:25.020 --> 01:43:25.560
Got it.

1496
01:43:25.560 --> 01:43:27.340
OK, again, for me.

1497
01:43:27.340 --> 01:43:31.300
Yeah. And the reason I was describing all that stuff for you from my dating

1498
01:43:31.300 --> 01:43:36.200
journey was because for me, that was how I worked some of that out.

1499
01:43:36.580 --> 01:43:42.300
It and it was that I learned that God does give us choices.

1500
01:43:43.240 --> 01:43:44.480
Yeah. Yeah.

1501
01:43:44.480 --> 01:43:46.440
He does give us permission to choose.

1502
01:43:46.720 --> 01:43:51.000
Now, again, like if God absolutely said.

1503
01:43:52.440 --> 01:43:55.280
I really think you're going to be a good match with this person, you guys

1504
01:43:55.280 --> 01:43:57.800
are going to bring a lot of freedom to people that struggle with pornography.

1505
01:43:58.020 --> 01:44:03.400
If I felt like God was calling me into that ministry and that kind of mountain,

1506
01:44:03.400 --> 01:44:07.440
if you will, then I believe I would have felt differently about that.

1507
01:44:07.440 --> 01:44:10.200
But I did not. I do not feel called to that.

1508
01:44:10.860 --> 01:44:11.720
Does that make sense?

1509
01:44:12.320 --> 01:44:14.000
Yeah. Yeah, it really does.

1510
01:44:14.400 --> 01:44:15.840
Thank you. You're welcome.

1511
01:44:15.920 --> 01:44:20.920
And again, ladies, this is where like taking imperfect action, walking it out.

1512
01:44:21.240 --> 01:44:25.320
She's going to learn what you know, when you go into the next phase, you're

1513
01:44:25.320 --> 01:44:26.580
going to have some training wheels.

1514
01:44:26.580 --> 01:44:27.920
They're going to give you some tools.

1515
01:44:27.920 --> 01:44:30.440
You're going to start practicing just like you all have been doing

1516
01:44:30.440 --> 01:44:32.000
activations here in the heartwork.

1517
01:44:32.000 --> 01:44:36.760
You're going to practice and you're going to learn as you go and discern.

1518
01:44:37.640 --> 01:44:38.720
A little bit more.

1519
01:44:38.860 --> 01:44:43.100
What is God asking and where is he giving you permission to make a decision?

1520
01:44:43.380 --> 01:44:44.820
So really great share.

1521
01:44:44.820 --> 01:44:45.500
I love that.

1522
01:44:45.540 --> 01:44:47.460
Thank you so much, Danielle.

1523
01:44:47.460 --> 01:44:48.540
Rachel, go ahead.

1524
01:44:49.500 --> 01:44:50.120
Hi there.

1525
01:44:50.180 --> 01:44:53.660
Um, I just have a quick question on the assignment actually.

1526
01:44:54.060 --> 01:44:57.260
Um, and it kind of follows up perfectly with what Danielle was sharing.

1527
01:44:57.300 --> 01:45:00.020
Um, so obviously we're doing this to kind.

1528
01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:05.160
of identify wounds and stuff that we have, right? But also,

1529
01:45:05.160 --> 01:45:09.320
like, is it to identify things that we wouldn't actually want,

1530
01:45:09.320 --> 01:45:12.720
like what you just shared, like, almost like a boundary? So

1531
01:45:13.480 --> 01:45:17.240
and then is it like, good to have a list of like, No, I will

1532
01:45:17.240 --> 01:45:20.340
never do that date this because of this is that because it

1533
01:45:20.340 --> 01:45:22.720
almost sounds like a bad thing, but is it actually a good thing?

1534
01:45:22.720 --> 01:45:27.800
So should we have some healthy? Yeah, I think it can be a

1535
01:45:27.800 --> 01:45:31.800
really good thing. Like, for example, I know that I'm not

1536
01:45:31.800 --> 01:45:35.960
called into ministering to people with sex addiction, you

1537
01:45:35.960 --> 01:45:39.560
know, and so for me, because of what I've been through,

1538
01:45:39.560 --> 01:45:42.920
especially with the sexual abuse background, including all of the

1539
01:45:42.920 --> 01:45:47.000
other stuff I've been through, I just knew that was not something

1540
01:45:47.000 --> 01:45:51.680
God was asking me to go into. And so that was something I

1541
01:45:51.680 --> 01:45:55.760
just, I didn't necessarily have it on my list, but I just knew,

1542
01:45:56.000 --> 01:45:59.600
and that came through walking out more of my healing to it

1543
01:45:59.600 --> 01:46:03.560
came through getting to know people. But yeah, this list is

1544
01:46:03.560 --> 01:46:08.680
for you to come in and process this stuff out. Some of you, you

1545
01:46:08.680 --> 01:46:12.000
know, when you put them in the group, we might feel led to ask

1546
01:46:12.000 --> 01:46:16.000
you, okay, tell me about this. You know, because sometimes we

1547
01:46:16.000 --> 01:46:18.800
recognize even though you're writing it, because you're

1548
01:46:18.800 --> 01:46:21.640
setting a boundary, we might need to better understand, okay,

1549
01:46:21.920 --> 01:46:26.920
is that boundary being created because of pain that's

1550
01:46:26.920 --> 01:46:30.520
unresolved? My boundary wasn't because pain that's unresolved.

1551
01:46:30.520 --> 01:46:33.800
It's because I know what I have capacity for. And I know what

1552
01:46:33.800 --> 01:46:38.200
I'm called into. Does that make sense? Versus like me just

1553
01:46:38.200 --> 01:46:42.080
saying, those people are bad people. I can't ever do that.

1554
01:46:42.120 --> 01:46:45.520
That isn't what I'm saying. Like, I know God loves those

1555
01:46:45.520 --> 01:46:48.360
people. I know that God loves, you know, my exes and those

1556
01:46:48.360 --> 01:46:52.280
people that have been walking in that. And I genuinely mean

1557
01:46:52.280 --> 01:46:57.840
that years ago, I wasn't quite there. Okay, so I had to process

1558
01:46:57.840 --> 01:47:02.000
all that out and make sure that I wasn't avoiding people because

1559
01:47:02.000 --> 01:47:06.040
of unresolved trauma and hurt. But I actually was just making a

1560
01:47:06.040 --> 01:47:10.560
decision because of knowing myself better, and knowing what

1561
01:47:10.560 --> 01:47:15.600
God was asking of me and what he wasn't asking of me. That makes

1562
01:47:16.320 --> 01:47:19.600
Okay, yeah. So there's there can be good ones that are healthy,

1563
01:47:19.600 --> 01:47:23.760
and then identify ones that are wounds and not healthy. Yeah.

1564
01:47:24.560 --> 01:47:29.280
Okay. Yeah. And as you make the list, just know there's no right

1565
01:47:29.280 --> 01:47:32.000
or wrong in this lady. So don't even worry about that. Even if

1566
01:47:32.000 --> 01:47:34.520
you're like, well, she said not to write this. If you feel led

1567
01:47:34.520 --> 01:47:37.360
to put it in your list, put it in there. It's not a big deal.

1568
01:47:37.680 --> 01:47:40.520
And we're not going to be like, why'd you write this? We're just

1569
01:47:40.520 --> 01:47:43.680
going to encourage you like we pray over those when we see

1570
01:47:43.680 --> 01:47:46.920
them just so you all know what what I do what I've trained our

1571
01:47:46.920 --> 01:47:51.000
coaches to do. And we pray over your post, you know, all the

1572
01:47:51.000 --> 01:47:54.120
time, but especially when the never will I ever come in and

1573
01:47:54.120 --> 01:47:57.640
really ask God to highlight anything if there is like

1574
01:47:57.660 --> 01:48:00.360
something that's tied to hurt. So we know how to help you guys

1575
01:48:00.360 --> 01:48:03.400
kind of come out of that. So great question. I did see I'm

1576
01:48:03.400 --> 01:48:06.000
going to go over to Emily real quick. And I know it's late. So

1577
01:48:06.000 --> 01:48:09.440
ladies, if you have to jump off, totally understand. We will end

1578
01:48:09.440 --> 01:48:12.840
with Emily tonight, but I did want to Carly put in the chat.

1579
01:48:13.000 --> 01:48:15.840
This makes me wonder if we should have a worksheet or write

1580
01:48:15.840 --> 01:48:19.920
out a checklist on anyone we date red flags, green flag. You

1581
01:48:19.920 --> 01:48:22.760
don't have to have a worksheet to track everybody. This was

1582
01:48:22.760 --> 01:48:26.560
just a light and again, when I shared about the poster board,

1583
01:48:26.720 --> 01:48:32.080
that's not going to be for everyone. For me, because in the

1584
01:48:32.080 --> 01:48:36.000
past, I tended to gravitate and date just one person. I had

1585
01:48:36.000 --> 01:48:41.800
never dated multiple people. I'd never given myself permission to

1586
01:48:41.800 --> 01:48:45.080
really like pay attention to what I was experiencing with

1587
01:48:45.080 --> 01:48:49.520
these people to decide was this a fun date? Did I have a good

1588
01:48:49.520 --> 01:48:53.920
experience? Not just like fluffy, but like what felt good

1589
01:48:53.920 --> 01:48:58.440
about it? What didn't go well. And like for myself, that was

1590
01:48:58.440 --> 01:49:02.400
something but I didn't do that forever either. It was when I

1591
01:49:02.400 --> 01:49:04.920
was kind of dating multiple people because in the beginning

1592
01:49:04.920 --> 01:49:08.000
I dated one guy and like just because I didn't meet anyone

1593
01:49:08.000 --> 01:49:10.440
else at the time. He was the only person I went on a couple

1594
01:49:10.440 --> 01:49:13.440
dates with. But when I was dating multiple people, it just

1595
01:49:13.440 --> 01:49:19.640
helped me process. So it's not so much like we want you to hone

1596
01:49:19.640 --> 01:49:22.280
in on all kinds of stuff about like you have to have some big

1597
01:49:22.280 --> 01:49:25.560
worksheet. I was just saying for those of you that might have

1598
01:49:25.560 --> 01:49:29.280
been in a similar situation, it might be helpful for you to

1599
01:49:29.280 --> 01:49:35.640
process kind of Oh, when I went on that day with so and so I

1600
01:49:35.640 --> 01:49:41.160
felt like a ton of peace. When I went on the date with this

1601
01:49:41.160 --> 01:49:44.800
guy, he kept trying to get me to talk about sex. He just

1602
01:49:44.800 --> 01:49:47.840
constantly kept asking me to hold his hand after I'd already

1603
01:49:47.840 --> 01:49:50.960
told him I wasn't ready to hold his hand, you know, where I was

1604
01:49:50.960 --> 01:49:54.960
just writing those things out. So I wouldn't forget how I felt

1605
01:49:55.120 --> 01:49:59.320
having those experiences. Hopefully that helps you. Yeah.

1606
01:49:59.480 --> 01:49:59.880
Okay.

1607
01:50:00.000 --> 01:50:01.200
Emily, go ahead.

1608
01:50:03.040 --> 01:50:09.360
Okay, so the thing that came up when we were doing the second breakout room,

1609
01:50:10.160 --> 01:50:16.800
the Broken Promises one, was kind of around some like old church hurt.

1610
01:50:16.800 --> 01:50:22.000
And my question is sort of like, I've done a lot of work on some of this stuff.

1611
01:50:22.000 --> 01:50:26.320
And so I almost feel frustrated.

1612
01:50:26.320 --> 01:50:30.000
Like, am I over, am I like over inner healing this stuff?

1613
01:50:30.000 --> 01:50:30.720
Do you know what I mean?

1614
01:50:30.720 --> 01:50:33.040
Like, what's a good way to know?

1615
01:50:34.240 --> 01:50:38.480
Like, because I've definitely done a ton of like work on it.

1616
01:50:38.480 --> 01:50:39.840
And then it did come back up.

1617
01:50:39.840 --> 01:50:41.840
Like, I did still experience a bit of pain around it.

1618
01:50:41.840 --> 01:50:44.800
And I was just like, oh, I don't, I just don't even want to think about this anymore.

1619
01:50:44.800 --> 01:50:46.160
Like, yeah.

1620
01:50:47.040 --> 01:50:49.520
So one of the things, Emily, tell me, I can't remember.

1621
01:50:49.520 --> 01:50:52.080
Is this your first week or your second week in the heart work?

1622
01:50:52.080 --> 01:50:52.800
I'm in week one.

1623
01:50:53.440 --> 01:50:54.000
Week one.

1624
01:50:54.000 --> 01:50:54.640
Okay.

1625
01:50:54.640 --> 01:50:55.040
All right.

1626
01:50:55.680 --> 01:50:58.400
I just didn't know if you'd already would have already heard me say this.

1627
01:50:58.400 --> 01:51:01.520
So one of the big things is healing happens in layers.

1628
01:51:01.520 --> 01:51:03.200
Forgiveness happens in layers.

1629
01:51:03.200 --> 01:51:07.840
And so I think probably what's happening is the healing of these situations is happening

1630
01:51:07.840 --> 01:51:08.720
in layers for you.

1631
01:51:09.440 --> 01:51:14.080
I don't want you to think you have to look all the way back at this stuff and rehash everything.

1632
01:51:14.640 --> 01:51:18.480
But the way I try to explain it to ladies is when that happens,

1633
01:51:20.480 --> 01:51:24.320
because it would be different for me if you said it just came to my mind.

1634
01:51:25.040 --> 01:51:28.720
But what you said is I felt pain connected to it.

1635
01:51:30.080 --> 01:51:34.560
So that's where it signals to me, because I think of a lot of things from my past,

1636
01:51:34.560 --> 01:51:36.480
even very horrible things.

1637
01:51:37.360 --> 01:51:39.200
And I don't feel pain.

1638
01:51:39.920 --> 01:51:43.840
I know what happened was bad, but I don't feel pain.

1639
01:51:43.840 --> 01:51:46.960
Now, the other day I was talking about something that happened a long time ago.

1640
01:51:46.960 --> 01:51:49.840
And all of a sudden I felt this shaking happening.

1641
01:51:49.840 --> 01:51:53.120
So I didn't feel pain, but I felt this like quivering in my soul.

1642
01:51:54.240 --> 01:51:59.600
So what that shows me is, oh, I might need to do some hard work on that again.

1643
01:52:00.320 --> 01:52:04.320
So it's like taking a peek up under the hood of a car.

1644
01:52:05.120 --> 01:52:07.520
Sometimes you just got to look back at it again.

1645
01:52:07.520 --> 01:52:09.520
You don't have to maybe go all the way through.

1646
01:52:09.520 --> 01:52:12.960
But I encourage the ladies to say, Lord, this is coming back up again.

1647
01:52:14.000 --> 01:52:15.120
I worked on this before.

1648
01:52:15.120 --> 01:52:17.920
Is there something new that you want to show me?

1649
01:52:19.200 --> 01:52:22.720
Is there something new that you're trying to reveal to me?

1650
01:52:23.360 --> 01:52:25.680
And just see what He shows you.

1651
01:52:25.680 --> 01:52:27.840
But, you know, and I get it, Emily.

1652
01:52:27.840 --> 01:52:31.920
It can be really tough because, again, I went through deliverance ministry.

1653
01:52:31.920 --> 01:52:33.840
I went through counseling, coaching.

1654
01:52:33.840 --> 01:52:36.560
I had done other programs before I came into this community.

1655
01:52:37.680 --> 01:52:38.960
So I had the hat.

1656
01:52:38.960 --> 01:52:40.240
I had the t-shirt.

1657
01:52:40.240 --> 01:52:41.200
I had done the work.

1658
01:52:41.760 --> 01:52:46.000
But, man, God had so much more for me.

1659
01:52:46.640 --> 01:52:51.520
And sometimes the reason that some of us feel the way that you feel

1660
01:52:52.880 --> 01:52:57.680
is because we had a lot of healing that we needed.

1661
01:52:58.880 --> 01:53:00.160
And so it takes time.

1662
01:53:01.120 --> 01:53:05.360
And each piece is important to the process of healing.

1663
01:53:05.360 --> 01:53:09.760
Now, I will say sometimes people get stuck in the grieving.

1664
01:53:10.640 --> 01:53:12.800
And that's why they struggle to move forward,

1665
01:53:12.800 --> 01:53:15.360
even though they've done a lot of healing work.

1666
01:53:15.360 --> 01:53:17.760
And so that's something that you'll want to pray into.

1667
01:53:17.760 --> 01:53:19.280
And you can ask the Lord about that.

1668
01:53:19.280 --> 01:53:22.560
Is that why I'm still feeling some pain here?

1669
01:53:22.560 --> 01:53:26.800
Am I still grieving something and have been unable to let it go?

1670
01:53:27.440 --> 01:53:32.800
Or, again, is there some new information you're trying to help me have

1671
01:53:32.800 --> 01:53:35.760
so that I can have more freedom and breakthrough?

1672
01:53:35.760 --> 01:53:39.520
Because remember, the truth is what sets us free.

1673
01:53:40.080 --> 01:53:43.600
And so sometimes we have a lot of truth,

1674
01:53:44.160 --> 01:53:48.960
but we need a little bit more so that we can actually break free from that thing.

1675
01:53:51.760 --> 01:53:53.360
I feel like some things were coming up.

1676
01:53:53.360 --> 01:53:55.440
Were there things coming up as I was talking to you?

1677
01:53:56.640 --> 01:53:57.140
Yeah.

1678
01:53:57.840 --> 01:54:00.880
Is there anything you want to share or you want to kind of stop for tonight?

1679
01:54:02.080 --> 01:54:04.080
Uh, I think that's probably good for tonight.

1680
01:54:04.080 --> 01:54:05.360
But, yeah, you're not wrong.

1681
01:54:06.720 --> 01:54:07.220
You're good.

1682
01:54:07.780 --> 01:54:09.380
Well, we'll pray for you, Emily.

1683
01:54:09.380 --> 01:54:10.900
And we're so glad that you're here.

1684
01:54:10.900 --> 01:54:12.740
And ladies, what I just did there,

1685
01:54:12.740 --> 01:54:15.700
because the reason I asked Emily the way I did,

1686
01:54:16.420 --> 01:54:20.500
whether or not she wanted to share more or did she want to stop for tonight,

1687
01:54:20.500 --> 01:54:23.300
is because I can, like, even in the way she's processing,

1688
01:54:23.300 --> 01:54:27.860
I can just tell there's quite a bit of pain associated with whatever's going on in her.

1689
01:54:28.740 --> 01:54:30.340
And so it's important for you all to know

1690
01:54:31.780 --> 01:54:35.860
if you're not ready to answer a question, it is okay.

1691
01:54:37.300 --> 01:54:41.460
So many of you in your life were told your voice didn't matter,

1692
01:54:41.460 --> 01:54:42.900
your feelings didn't matter.

1693
01:54:43.540 --> 01:54:47.940
And so you knowing that your voice matters and that you get to say,

1694
01:54:47.940 --> 01:54:49.700
hey, like, that was good.

1695
01:54:49.700 --> 01:54:51.460
I'm not ready to go further.

1696
01:54:51.460 --> 01:54:52.820
And that is your choice.

1697
01:54:52.820 --> 01:54:54.100
And that's important.

1698
01:54:54.100 --> 01:54:54.600
Okay.

1699
01:54:55.060 --> 01:54:57.220
So we are so glad that you all are here.

1700
01:54:57.220 --> 01:54:59.940
Emily, thank you for sharing what you did and asking that question.

1701
01:55:00.000 --> 01:55:06.000
and I'm going to pray for your heart along with everyone else's, but ladies, God loves you.

1702
01:55:06.000 --> 01:55:12.000
And, you know, the people that hurt us, that broke his heart too.

1703
01:55:12.000 --> 01:55:16.000
And so I want you to kind of think about that too.

1704
01:55:16.000 --> 01:55:20.000
Just like when Lazarus died, Jesus wept.

1705
01:55:20.000 --> 01:55:24.000
That's a significant story in the Bible.

1706
01:55:24.000 --> 01:55:28.000
And so it was showing us the heart of the Father.

1707
01:55:29.000 --> 01:55:34.000
So, as we're closing, when the promises were broken to you,

1708
01:55:34.000 --> 01:55:37.000
when people did or said something that harmed you,

1709
01:55:37.000 --> 01:55:40.000
the Father's heart was breaking for you.

1710
01:55:40.000 --> 01:55:43.000
He loves you so much.

1711
01:55:43.000 --> 01:55:46.000
So, Father, we just thank you for tonight.

1712
01:55:46.000 --> 01:55:49.000
We thank you for healing.

1713
01:55:49.000 --> 01:55:54.000
I pray that you would help us to release these people, these situations to you.

1714
01:55:54.000 --> 01:56:00.000
God, I ask you to help us to grow in the understanding of who you are as a promise keeper.

1715
01:56:00.000 --> 01:56:03.000
That you are the way maker.

1716
01:56:03.000 --> 01:56:09.000
God, where we've worked on healing in the past, God, I pray that you would just give us new information.

1717
01:56:09.000 --> 01:56:12.000
Help us to see what we couldn't see before.

1718
01:56:12.000 --> 01:56:15.000
Lead us into greater breakthrough and freedom supernaturally.

1719
01:56:15.000 --> 01:56:19.000
We thank you for your supernatural presence that's here with us tonight.

1720
01:56:19.000 --> 01:56:23.000
I pray that as these ladies sleep and as they go about their week ahead, God,

1721
01:56:23.000 --> 01:56:25.000
that you would give them salel rest.

1722
01:56:25.000 --> 01:56:29.000
That you would minister to them in the night hours as well as the daytime, God.

1723
01:56:29.000 --> 01:56:36.000
That literally that they would go to sleep and that there would be supernatural healing and surgery happening in the spirit realm.

1724
01:56:36.000 --> 01:56:40.000
God, that you would, yes, Lord, what has tormented them, God,

1725
01:56:40.000 --> 01:56:45.000
that you would dispatch angels to minister in every one of those areas, God.

1726
01:56:45.000 --> 01:56:52.000
That you would just come in and remove the enemy from every area of our minds, our hearts,

1727
01:56:52.000 --> 01:56:58.000
where even Tatiana was saying earlier, all these intrusive thoughts continue to come in and try to harm her.

1728
01:56:58.000 --> 01:57:02.000
And Lord, we just thank you for a hedge of protection around our minds, God, around our spirits.

1729
01:57:02.000 --> 01:57:08.000
We thank you, God, that you would help us to have the discernment and the strength and the grace

1730
01:57:08.000 --> 01:57:11.000
to guard our hearts and our minds through Christ Jesus.

1731
01:57:11.000 --> 01:57:17.000
And when we are doing our best to do that, God, and the enemy is still coming in, God,

1732
01:57:17.000 --> 01:57:21.000
I thank you that you would raise up a standard against him, that you would cause him to flee.

1733
01:57:21.000 --> 01:57:26.000
God, and we just thank you that you would just continue to lead and guide us into all truth

1734
01:57:26.000 --> 01:57:29.000
and that you would anoint us for all of our lives in walk and calling

1735
01:57:29.000 --> 01:57:35.000
and that you would lead us deeper into the revelation of who Jesus is and the freedom that he died to give us.

1736
01:57:35.000 --> 01:57:40.000
Holy Spirit, thank you for being our comforter, our counselor, our guide.

1737
01:57:40.000 --> 01:57:46.000
Thank you for taking us literally by the hand, not by force, but by invitation.

1738
01:57:46.000 --> 01:57:52.000
That you extend your hand to us and we get to choose to take you by the hand and to follow you.

1739
01:57:52.000 --> 01:57:57.000
And so we just thank you for that. We thank you that you're near to us in every moment.

1740
01:57:57.000 --> 01:58:00.000
In Jesus' name, amen, amen, amen.

1741
01:58:00.000 --> 01:58:03.000
Ladies, come into the group, talk to us.

1742
01:58:03.000 --> 01:58:08.000
Emily, as you process some of that more this week, if you need to come and chat it out, come into the group.

1743
01:58:08.000 --> 01:58:10.000
This is a great group of ladies.

1744
01:58:10.000 --> 01:58:14.000
You know, if I haven't said it in a while, you're safe here.

1745
01:58:14.000 --> 01:58:16.000
Y'all are safe here, okay?

1746
01:58:16.000 --> 01:58:19.000
I have been coaching for over five and a half years in this community

1747
01:58:19.000 --> 01:58:24.000
and I'm so proud to say that there has not been people that have harmed one another in this community.

1748
01:58:24.000 --> 01:58:29.000
As far as, like, people share very vulnerable things and everyone honors that space.

1749
01:58:29.000 --> 01:58:33.000
And so I encourage y'all to continue in that form and praying for y'all this week.

1750
01:58:33.000 --> 01:58:36.000
God bless you. Have a good night, everyone. Bye-bye.