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Hello, hello ladies. How are y'all tonight? Hello. Didn't realize I was kind of low here.

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How's it going? Is everything good? Hello, hello, hello. Let me put everybody on the

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gallery view. Who do we have in the house tonight? Oh, Audrey and Cindy and Nancy and

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Lauren and Ari and Tamra. Hello and Nadine. Hello. And Tara, Catherine, Edwidge, and Amanda

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and Annie. Annie, is this your first time with us tonight? Good. It's so good to have

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you. Is this your first live in phase two? First live coaching? Well, welcome, welcome,

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welcome. Tara, is this your first time? Yes. Good to have you. Good to have you. I missed

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you last week, Kim. It's so good to see you. Were you here last week, Kim? Maybe she didn't

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hear me. And Chantel and Cynthia. Sorry, I had, oh, I had, I'm a teacher, so we had orientation

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last Tuesday night. I teach algebra and economics. Yeah. Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah. Way to go. Yeah,

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they're super fun. Good, good. Good to see you back tonight. Hey, Kim, Cynthia. Oh, yeah,

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you're welcome. Catherine, oh, Catherine, I didn't know you teach special education.

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It's a lot of, any other teachers in the house, just make yourself known. Haley, good to see

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you. Nancy, it's been a while. But, well, one Nancy, I don't think I know you, but Nancy

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S, it's been a while. Yep. Yep. Yep. All right. And Nancy P, is this your first time

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with us? I've hopped on the 6 o'clock once before, but I usually go to the 11 o'clock,

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but my school actually started up, so teacher also. Oh, what do you teach? Third grade.

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Oh, wow. Just left third grade. I teach second grade now.

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Yeah. So, well, strength to you teachers, all of you, all of us, we need the strength of the Lord.

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I think I still, I don't know, I still ask myself,

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when I walk through the building, even when I wake up, I'll be like, why are you doing this

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again now? Why you say you do this? I am so serious. I'm like, will this question ever leave?

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If I get on break, it's over. I'll be like, why are you going back? But anyway, Rachel,

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it's so good to see you. Rachel, is there an email you sent me that I have not responded to?

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Hey. No, I didn't. Oh, the other Rachel. Sorry. The other Rachel. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I forgot

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it was too long. That's okay because I've dragged my answer to yourself. Oh, have mercy on me. Grace.

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You're back at work? You're back teaching? Yes. Oh, yeah. I'll be gracious to you.

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Be gracious to me. Be gracious to me. Well, and Rachel, you're a teacher also, right?

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Yeah. What grade do you teach? I teach high school. Oh. Yeah. So, depends on the year.

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Sometimes I get nine through 12 or in between. But mostly my focus is 10, 11.

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Okay. Well, good. Well, ladies, let us be prayed into this wonderful journey on tonight.

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Father God, I thank you for these ladies. I thank you for the awesome work that you're

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doing in their lives. I thank you, Lord God, that there is no other training field like the

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training field of partnering with you for a spouse. That there's no other journey similar

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to the journey of believing you for a spouse, oh God. And so, though it doesn't feel good,

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we thank you for the privilege and the opportunity to get to know you this way.

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We thank you for the privilege and the opportunity to get to know you as the God that writes love

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story. That we get to know that our God is romantic and kind and gentle. That we get to

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know that our God is a healer and he refuses to allow us to walk in something broken and missing

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parts. And so, God, we thank you right now that you are the Lord God who heals us of everything.

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The Bible says you even healed us of our sicknesses and our diseases, but it just doesn't

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stop there because Paul said, I wish above all that you will prosper even as your soul prospers.

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So we know that you are a God that is invested in the healing of our soul and so father God

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We thank you right now that we had an opportunity

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To go on this journey to get our souls healed to get ourselves healthy and whole

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Complete and lacking no good thing and we thank you for our husbands in Jesus name. Amen

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Amen amen amen

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so

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I

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Do we have any announcements? I don't think we do we do always think that you ladies are doing a fabulous job

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You're showing up

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You're doing what it takes

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You're taking the bumps and the hits and the bruises and you're getting back up and you're keeping it moving and we're happy for you

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We're proud of you. Those of you just come through hard work

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Hard work is challenging it continues on for the rest of your life

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But we're so glad you started the journey and so now it becomes a part of who you are

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Right. We're not afraid to to go behind closed doors to open doors to go in the cracks and the crevices in the dark place

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Because we know that there is a meeting place for us in Jesus

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So no longer do we feel afraid of the things that we don't know we don't see or we can't put our finger on we've

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Identified those as meeting places with Jesus and we take great joy and going into those places with him because we know that freedom is

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found in those

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Places. All right

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So

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Opportunity to do any of the activation from last week

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And last week activations was something that God was wanting to really

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Reveal to you this week

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Some way that he may have wanted to show up show you something about yourself or about something that he was doing in your life

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If you have a testimony along any of that, we would love to hear it

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You can just unmute and share or you can put it in the chat

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Anything you want to share that God revealed to you this week

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Did you unmute to share Nancy or did you just um you by mistake I

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Don't know why that keeps on muting. I'm so sorry

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Yeah, I just I I'm just starting phase two so I

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Spent this week doing kind of the first round of just

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what the challenge I guess that Jackie gives about

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Coming out of hiding and letting it be known that you're

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And she was like if you're if you're courageous

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Or bold you could put this on social media. So I thought well

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What do I have to lose?

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What do I have to lose so I just I

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Put it all out there. I I put it on a singles group that I was in on Facebook and then also on my

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Facebook page and

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It was it's kind of a cute little post but the one of my nephews a couple years ago

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They all joked that their dog is like my god dog and that he's the man in my life

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So they set up this little table

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This is a couple years ago with the dog in one chair and a chair for me and a cup of water for each

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for me and the dog and then they took a picture of me with the dog and

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The dog was dressed up and I was dressed up and we matched

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And so it was just a funny kind of moment. Well, I post this and I said this is the current man in my life

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But I'd like to kind of up the ante

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And

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I just said I've been on I think

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Three dates in a decade and a half and who would like to be the fourth?

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And just you know, maybe you have a uncle a friend a dad a brother

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Somebody but I said, I'm just letting it be known like

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You know do a girl a favor here like message me. Tell me about your friend your uncle your dad

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Your cousin, whatever and and then of course on the single side

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I just said, you know, I've been challenged on both of them. I said I've been challenged to go on seven dates

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in three months and

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You know and it could be this

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All seven could be with the same person if it works out that way or they could be mixed up

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so I just did that and the result ladies was

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It was really special because even if nothing comes of the post itself I had people from

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many

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different decades of my life

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chiming in and saying how brave it was to do that and how they were proud of me and

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Thankful and like just

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and just, it just felt like then I had people from every decade of my life cheering me on.

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I just did not, I was afraid of, you know, putting it on my main Facebook page, but then

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I realized it really gave an opportunity for people I hadn't talked to in ages to reach

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out and say they were praying for me or just celebrating and cheering me on.

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So from the decades.

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So if you haven't done something like that yet, it was very rewarding, at least it was

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for me.

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So no dates yet though.

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So no, that was super bright.

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But the dog, the God dog is right here attending phase two with me.

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He's a Chihuahua, Topo Chico.

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Chico, he better get ready.

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Cause somebody going to take his spot.

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Amen.

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Sorry.

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Move over Chico.

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Move, move.

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Move on out of the way Chico.

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Oh Lord have mercy.

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Tamara, you want to share a testimony that was really good Tara, thanks so much for sharing.

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Yeah, it's definitely a great idea.

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I look horrible.

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That's why I'm not putting on the thing.

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You know, I had, I had temporarily forgotten about the, um, like assignment or challenge

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or whatever.

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And I went to my 40th reunion and that was the first one that I've gone to because high

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school was not like super fun for me.

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I was kind of made fun of and stuff.

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And so, um, I went and I, you know, I think God's kind of made it so I don't remember

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like, I don't think it was horrible.

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I think they just made fun of my clothes and stuff.

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Um, but it was really fun to see everybody.

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I didn't remember a lot of their faces, but I, one thing that God really pointed out to

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me like afterwards, um, because I had those moments where I was like social anxiety and

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just, so I, I had a couple of drinks and I'm like, and I haven't drank for a long time

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and I'm, I'm not like an avid drinker anyway.

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Um, but it was, it was drinking for the wrong reason to give me courage.

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And so the next day it's like, God, like gently put on my, excuse me, on my mind.

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It's like, you know, you turn to that rather you to that spirit rather than turning to

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my spirit.

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And it just really kind of knocked me back because I just have not, I've not been any,

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I've not been in that kind of situation for a long time because I, you know, I, I have

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grown a lot through the years and, and have more confidence and stuff.

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But in that, you know, it's like I was taken back to high school a little bit, although

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everybody was wonderful.

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So it really was a fun thing, but, but just, it was, I really feel like that God rebuild

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that to me, right?

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And you, you feel like he revealed that you leaned on the arm of something else when he

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wanted you to leave, you know, him say that again, like make that last exactly.

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That I, that I, I turned to alcohol, which is, you know, I've heard sermons on it being

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a spirit, um, turned to alcohol, which I'm not against alcohol, you know, a nice glass

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of wine or a beer or something like that.

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But I turned to that in a different way and it, it, it became what God should have been

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instead of turning to the Holy spirit and just, you know, yeah.

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Yeah.

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Thank you for sharing.

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That's really good, Tamara.

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Or is it Tamara?

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It's, you know what?

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It's Tamara.

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Tamara is Tamara, but I don't care.

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Okay.

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All right.

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Thanks for sharing.

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That was really good.

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Haley.

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Thank you.

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You're welcome.

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Yeah.

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I just wanted to share.

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Um, the Lord's been really sweet and just showing me some things where I've really been

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grateful, like in this season.

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Um, and one of the things that happened a couple of days ago, I had a, um, a girlfriend

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and then I went and got coffee and she waited, withheld this information for two hours, but

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she had gotten asked out on a date by a guy that we had been dating for a couple of days.

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And I was like, Oh my God.

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Oh my God.

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Oh my God.

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Oh my God.

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Oh my God.

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Oh my God.

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Oh my God.

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Oh my God.

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Oh my God.

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Oh my God.

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Oh my God.

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Oh my God.

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Oh my God.

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Oh my God.

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Oh my God.

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withheld this information for two hours, but she had gotten asked out on a date by a guy

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that we had gone to school with.

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I'm like, girl, how did we make it through two hours?

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And you said nothing.

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Right.

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And, and it was a long story of events.

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Another friend of mine, uh, had just come over and popped over when we were all at my

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house and we were, you know, giggling and having a good time and getting excited for

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going on a date.

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And the Lord just showed me like, you know how sweet it is that you can sit with your

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girlfriends and be excited about what's going on.

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And that season won't always be there because there will be a season when y'all are married.

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And I was really grateful, you know, to have.

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How my girl is spontaneous, but also just like being that girl moment of, you know,

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I was like peak girlhood geeking out over a boy and going on a date.

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Yeah, just really grateful.

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Yeah, that's so good.

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Thank you for sharing that.

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And I just release over the whole community, there are things that you're doing today,

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that when you get married, it's going to look a lot different.

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So enjoy your singleness because your marriage years are sure to come.

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It's not a matter of if they will come.

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It's a matter of when it comes, because if it's not part of the process, do we understand?

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It's not if, not if.

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That's really good.

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Thank you for sharing ladies.

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So tonight, I think what we're going to talk about, or just in my mind, it kind of fits

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in, everything kind of fits in, all flows together.

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And if you were on one o'clock, this is your double dose, probably in a little different

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format, maybe different personalities.

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But the overall reigning topic tonight is the kingdom.

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The kingdom is built on partnership and not striving.

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And that within itself is a mouthful to say, but it is a journey to walk out.

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That the kingdom is built on partnership and not striving.

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Now there are a lot of schools of thoughts of theologies or religious belief when it

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comes to what happens when we start believing God for something.

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And oftentimes we can have a, they call it a mixture mind.

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Things are mixed all in, right?

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And sometimes deep within us, we'll believe if we get angry with God, why haven't you

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made it happen yet?

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So there's this brain, sometimes a belief thought that's hidden in the back that God

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makes things happen, that he's sovereign and he overrides your will and he makes them happen.

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But that is very far from the truth.

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The Bible says for the heavens is the Lord's, but the earth he's given to men.

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And that God needs a bodysuit that he made us in to operate in the earth realm.

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So he operates through us.

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We are the gatekeepers of the earth.

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Adam was a gatekeeper of the earth.

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You see?

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And so sometimes we have this idea that God is just going to make it happen, kind of like

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he's going to bring me an Amazon package.

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I don't have to do anything.

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These things are just going to happen.

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And so we have this resentment in our heart toward God that something hasn't happened

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or he hasn't made it happen.

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Let's not confuse this when you're partnering with God, when you're walking by faith, when

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you believe in God.

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I'm not talking about that, but I'm talking about a belief system when it's in itself

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that says that God makes something happen or that when a relation, somebody comes along,

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it must be God.

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All the signs look like God.

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You get in it.

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It ended up not being God and you actually feel like you were tricked by God also.

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God, why didn't you stop it?

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God, why didn't you say something when we generally don't go back and track ourselves

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to see where did something go awry?

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Where did I did not operate in order?

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Where did I not operate in boundary?

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Because it's not very often that you're going to operate within the principles of boundaries

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and your heart is going to get ripped into pieces.

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You may sting, but you won't get ripped into pieces because boundaries have a way of guarding

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our heart.

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That's the way we guard our heart with our diligence.

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Principles, principles are a real thing in the earth.

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The Bible says in the book of, I think Galatians could be James.

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I'm not sure.

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That whatsoever a man soweth that he shall also reap, that when we sow into the flesh

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we reap corruption.

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If you sow into the things of the spirit of everlasting life, you will receive.

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And so what does that mean?

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That means when I start sowing, that's not a scary, that's not a scary scripture.

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That's a guaranteed scripture that when I sow into the things that will bring goodness

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to me, when I sow into the things that are of the spirit, when I sow into the principles

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that are of goodness, I will also reap that.

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So that means when I operate in boundaries, I'm sowing into something that's going to

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produce an outcome for me.

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That scripture could be used when I was growing up in church or people would say as a warning,

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like, Oh, something bad is going to happen to you.

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You remember when you did this, you're reaping that.

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You remember when you did this, this is coming back on you.

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Well, actually that scripture is a promise and it's a beautiful promise.

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The Bible says that the word of God is like a hammer that hits against a stone until the

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stone breaks into pieces.

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Now you can spend your time thinking about how long it takes a stone to break, or you

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can think about you swinging that word against it and it's a guarantee it's going to break

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into pieces.

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It has no choice but to surrender to the hammer.

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of the Word of God. It will break into pieces. And so these are the type of scriptures that give us

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guarantee. That also tells, shows us partnership at its finest. Whatever you sow, there's a thing

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you reap. When the hammer, like a Word of God, hits against the stone, who's taking the Word

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and hitting it against the stone? You are. The Word is a sword in your mouth. The Bible says that

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the Word of God is so powerful that it separates bone and marrow, soul and spirit. These are

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guarantees of promises to us of partnership, that when we partner, there is an outcome.

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Hence, it tells us that in the kingdom of God, we're in a kingdom of partnership and not striving.

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He said that even our righteousness is a filthy rag in its sight. So he gave us the righteousness

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of Christ Jesus, so we won't even have to worry about that part. He said, look, you can't work

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enough to get this. You can't work enough. You can't be good enough. And guess what? You also

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can't be bad enough. I got a blood that will cover it all, but you got to partner with the

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blood to see it come to pass. Because there are many people who believe that the blood is

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sufficient for somebody else, but it's not sufficient for them. It's called pride when you

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operate that way. But I'm just going to tell you, if you don't partner with the blood, you don't get

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the outcome of the blood. How I know you're not getting the outcome of the blood? Because you live

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in guilt and you're carrying shame. When he clearly says, cast your cares upon me for I care for you.

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Another scripture that shows us partnership. You got to cast your cares upon him. You got

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to give those cares to him. He said, I care for you. I'll take care of that. Just give it to me.

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And so all throughout the scripture, even as they're flowing out of my mouth so beautifully

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by the Holy Spirit, we see that our kingdom is a kingdom of partnership. There's no mistake about

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it. There's not one battle that the children of Israel won in the Old Testament that they did not

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partner with the Lord through obedience. And every time they refused to partner with him

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through obedience, they lost the battle. And so we see all throughout script and partnership,

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the Bible says that when Abraham was dead in his body, that he believed God. And when Sarah was

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past childbearing years, she believed God. It was a partnership that had to happen for the promise

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to be fulfilled. And I'm telling you, there's no different in your life right now. You're

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believing God for a promise and we are in a kingdom of partnership. And that is something

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to celebrate. Because if I show up and I partner, just like every scripture I gave you, there is a

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guaranteed outcome. Our God is a God of patterns. He does the same thing over and over and over.

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He can be tracked and he can be traced. And it's all throughout scripture. He does what he says

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he's going to do. He always has and he always will. He does not fail. So if you ever want the

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best partner you'll ever meet in the whole wide world, I'm telling you, you partner with the Lord.

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Even when you get your husband, your best bet is to partner with the Lord so that you may see the

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fullness of that marriage open up before your eyes. Because we serve a partner that delivers

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every single time. His track record is worthy of the praise. Even if we haven't seen the promise,

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we can praise him for his record. Because if he did it then, he's going to do it now.

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And so in our kingdom, we are part of a kingdom that partners and not strive. As a matter of fact,

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he doesn't even let us work for it. There are so many battles that the children of Israel,

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when they went to battle, he gave it to them. One of the battles that he, they went before,

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it says that the sons of Issachar went before them, that the worshipers went first and that

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the enemy saw pools of blood on the ground. They turned on themselves and killed themselves. They

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didn't even do nothing for it. When they went to the wall of Jericho, they marched around the wall

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of Jericho and the walls fell down and they got the victory. There was no victory that the children

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of Israel could claim for themselves because that's how our partner works. He refused to

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allow your work or your striving to say that it got you the victory. And so therefore in his kingdom,

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there's no place for striving. And so when we strive, oftentimes we'll see ourselves become

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tired until we say, forget it. I give up. Just do what you want to do.

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How many of us have made it to that place? Forget it. Just forget it, God. You done got so tired

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and this is what you say. I done did everything I know to do. I'm tired. I ain't doing nothing else.

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And he like, finally. Two weeks later, you get more strength and you go back.

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You get more strength, you get worn out for a while and the Lord gets to working and you build

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back up your strength. But you know, God is so faithful in this scripture I just thought about.

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They that wait upon the Lord, he shall renew their strength. They should mount up on wings.

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They should mount up on wings with eagles. They should run and not be weary. They should walk in

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not pain.

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They that wait upon the Lord.

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They that wait upon the Lord.

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He just has a way of doing things.

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He removes the striving so that he can be glorified

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in this situation and you'll be able to tell somebody else,

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if he did it for me, hey, if he did it for me,

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I know he'll do it for you.

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It was nothing special about me except for I belong

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to a guy who loves his children.

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There's nothing more special about me

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except for my father takes care of what belongs to him,

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that he's faithful to his promise.

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You'll be like, David, I've never seen the righteous

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forsaken nor a seed begging bread.

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That's what you'll say.

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You'll say that my God is faithful.

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And that's why we can tell the testimonies of the Lord

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again and again and guarantee a person,

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if he did it for me, he'll do it for you.

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And there are a lot of times,

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I don't know if you look at Jackie Post

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and the women will post and they're in their wedding gowns

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and they're like, ladies, keep believing.

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And I'll be saying, look, I don't want to hit it.

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Can you believe?

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Like sometimes those thoughts might go through my mind.

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And for some reason, even though we've seen love story

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after love story, after love story,

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there's still those competing thoughts

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that try to come in and make you compare.

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Those are competing thoughts that will come in

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and try to make you say, oh, that's for them

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and it's not for me.

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And when you hear that, you know it's the enemy of your soul

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and he wants to rob you of the opportunity

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to grab hold of the faith that God has put in front of you

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and say, oh yeah, it's in my neighborhood.

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Oh yeah, it's on the way.

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How do I know I'm looking at a woman in a wedding dress

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who says she had been waiting on the Lord for three years,

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four years and God still came through.

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And so anytime a competing thought

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or something comes across your mind

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to get you to believe otherwise,

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you need to start marking that as the enemy of your soul,

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wanting to take from you what rightfully belongs to you.

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So I'm back at it.

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This is a kingdom of partnership, not of striving.

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And so we're gonna tie this teaching

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into if you want Supernatural Saturday,

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Jackie talked about the escalator and taking the escalator.

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Do y'all remember that teaching?

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If anybody was on there.

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The escalator, you know, in the mall, not the elevator,

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but the escalator was designed to take people higher.

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But if an escalator is broken,

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it takes a lot of work to climb that escalator.

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Have you ever gotten on a broken escalator

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and you just walk up yourself?

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It's a little bit more work involved in it.

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And then the steps are kind of high,

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but when you're on it and you're riding,

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they're turning over and you can't tell the depth

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of the step because you don't feel it

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and you're just riding.

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Well, the good thing about it is this,

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that in the kingdom, there are no broken escalators.

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And so one of the ways that we can determine

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if we're striving,

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if we feel like we're climbing a broken escalator.

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When you feel yourself getting tired,

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you say, wait a minute, what am I trying to make happen?

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When you're like, I'm about to tap out,

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this is just too much.

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Where are you climbing a broken escalator?

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Because in the kingdom,

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it's not designed for us to climb broken escalators.

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It's actually designed for us to ride.

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The scripture says that we are more than conquerors

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in Christ Jesus.

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In order to be more than a conqueror,

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somebody would have to already conquer the battle

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for you to be more than a conqueror.

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So you don't even really fight the battle,

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you partner your way through on a journey with the Lord.

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And the whole time, he's trying to get something to you.

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So in this journey of believing God for marriage

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and walking with him to that destination,

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sometimes it could feel like

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things are just being taken from us

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or withheld from us or not given to us.

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But I wanna challenge your perspective on that

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in this thing I know to be true.

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He is always working to get something to you

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and not take away from you.

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Always on a journey with the Lord,

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always on the first faith journey with the Lord.

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He's working to get something to you.

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And if something is being stripped away,

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he's trying to replace it with goodness.

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If you're dropping out baggage and shame and guilt,

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of course, we want these things to shed out.

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And the Lord is in that happening.

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He's like, okay, we gotta feel,

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there's no voice in the spirit.

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Let's just know, no vacuums in the spirit.

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00:29:34.820 --> 00:29:36.780
Everything has to be filled with something.

457
00:29:36.780 --> 00:29:38.620
And so we release guilt and shame,

458
00:29:38.620 --> 00:29:40.300
then the Lord wants to replace it with joy

459
00:29:40.300 --> 00:29:41.340
and peace and goodness.

460
00:29:41.340 --> 00:29:43.780
He wants to fill you up with the fullness

461
00:29:43.780 --> 00:29:47.100
because he knows where which you are filled

462
00:29:47.100 --> 00:29:48.740
so your eyes will see.

463
00:29:51.420 --> 00:29:55.620
He knows that the things that you're filled with

464
00:29:55.620 --> 00:29:57.700
will determine what your eyes will see.

465
00:29:58.740 --> 00:30:00.260
There's no way that a person.

466
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:06.160
who's filled with scarcity can see a suitor that is appropriate for them.

467
00:30:08.160 --> 00:30:15.040
There's no way a woman who's starved of emotional connection could see a healthy man because you're

468
00:30:15.040 --> 00:30:20.160
going to keep looking for a man that will fill an emotional deficit that you have.

469
00:30:22.320 --> 00:30:26.720
All right, so where with the things you are filled, so will your eyes see.

470
00:30:27.680 --> 00:30:33.120
So when you're filled with healthy thoughts, when you're filled with healthy patterns,

471
00:30:33.760 --> 00:30:38.960
when the Lord allows you to date and work something out of you, it's so that you can be

472
00:30:38.960 --> 00:30:43.760
filled with something else that you may see. And so no, he didn't bring that along for you to be

473
00:30:43.760 --> 00:30:49.440
let down. He brought that along to work something out of you so he can get something into you.

474
00:30:49.440 --> 00:30:54.080
For with the things you are filled are with the eyes in which you see, and it's important that

475
00:30:54.320 --> 00:30:59.920
you see and that you see well, because you're going to choose the suitor

476
00:31:02.960 --> 00:31:09.600
with what you have or what you don't have. And you're in this program to make sure that you

477
00:31:09.600 --> 00:31:12.480
feel with goodness that your eyes may see well.

478
00:31:13.360 --> 00:31:17.280
It doesn't mean that you choose perfect people because there are no perfect people.

479
00:31:18.000 --> 00:31:21.200
We must never forget that God made the woman as a helper.

480
00:31:22.960 --> 00:31:29.040
And so as long as you be a helper, that man is going to be in deficit of something

481
00:31:29.040 --> 00:31:34.880
that you are equipped to come and help with. And that doesn't mean you look for a project,

482
00:31:34.880 --> 00:31:41.120
but you must never forget that you are an azar. You are a life giving source. And if you want a

483
00:31:41.120 --> 00:31:44.560
package with a bowl, then you have no need of a husband.

484
00:31:44.800 --> 00:31:50.320
That is the truth. You've been put out of a job. He don't even need you.

485
00:31:53.120 --> 00:31:58.720
And so oftentimes it's a little bit out track, but I'm going to hit this. Oftentimes we keep

486
00:31:58.720 --> 00:32:04.080
looking for something perfect and that's why you have no husband because you don't need a husband.

487
00:32:04.080 --> 00:32:11.200
God made a woman to be a helpmate. So there are going to be some areas of deficit in everybody's

488
00:32:11.920 --> 00:32:16.800
life, even your own life. And so oftentimes when we look for something perfect,

489
00:32:16.800 --> 00:32:22.800
they should cue you into something that you're fighting off. There's a fear happening. There's

490
00:32:22.800 --> 00:32:28.800
something happening in you that believes that this has to be A, B, C, D, or it's nothing at all.

491
00:32:28.800 --> 00:32:36.480
And that's just not how it works. What must be and cannot be lacking is a man that is mature,

492
00:32:37.280 --> 00:32:47.280
marriage minded, and masculine. Mature, marriage minded, and masculine. That's a foundation.

493
00:32:47.280 --> 00:32:52.880
So I just wanted to say that because oftentimes we have lists and we have this and we have that,

494
00:32:52.880 --> 00:32:57.680
and you forget what your role is. That doesn't mean you pick projects because if you choose a

495
00:32:57.680 --> 00:33:01.440
man that is mature, marriage minded, and masculine, you're not picking a project.

496
00:33:02.000 --> 00:33:06.400
Okay. So there's the kingdom culture, and then there's the world's culture.

497
00:33:07.200 --> 00:33:12.000
And most of us, even though we've grown up in church, for me, from where I'm from,

498
00:33:12.000 --> 00:33:18.480
there is no church that talked about the order of marriage or talked about dating at all,

499
00:33:18.480 --> 00:33:23.120
or the order of marriage in a healthy way. And when I say that, maybe your church is different,

500
00:33:23.120 --> 00:33:26.720
and I can't say that. I'm only talking about where I come from. And I can't say that.

501
00:33:27.280 --> 00:33:31.040
When I say that, maybe your church is different, and I can't say that. I'm only talking about

502
00:33:31.040 --> 00:33:35.760
where I come from. Nobody ever taught the role of the woman, that she was the Ezra,

503
00:33:35.760 --> 00:33:40.800
that she's a life-giving source, that when God put man on the earth, he told man to be fruitful,

504
00:33:40.800 --> 00:33:44.400
multiply, subdue, and have dominion. They would talk about being fruitful and multiplied,

505
00:33:44.400 --> 00:33:47.840
and they would talk about the role of a woman, and the woman needs to submit to the husband,

506
00:33:47.840 --> 00:33:51.360
and the woman needs to do this, and the woman needs to do that, and the woman needs to do this,

507
00:33:51.360 --> 00:33:55.920
and the woman needs to do that, and this, this, this, this, this, but it never talked about the

508
00:33:55.920 --> 00:34:01.040
beautiful thing that God had designed, that even before he pulled woman out of man,

509
00:34:01.040 --> 00:34:05.440
he had already made both of them from the dust of the earth. The Bible says he made them,

510
00:34:05.440 --> 00:34:10.880
he male and female. And then after Adam had dominion over the earth, he said,

511
00:34:10.880 --> 00:34:18.320
it's not good for man to be alone. I will make for him a helper. That's what he said.

512
00:34:18.320 --> 00:34:25.920
That word helpmate there means Ezra, a life-giving source. That means this man

513
00:34:25.920 --> 00:34:30.560
lacked somebody to give him a life, a life-giving source, flow life to him.

514
00:34:31.280 --> 00:34:34.560
So I'm going to give him a life-giving source, somebody that can look at him and call out the

515
00:34:34.560 --> 00:34:39.199
goal in him. Somebody that look at him and say, I know what you can do. I know, you know, somebody

516
00:34:39.199 --> 00:34:43.840
that can look at him and get the vision of his life and declare it to be so. This, all of these

517
00:34:43.840 --> 00:34:49.440
things, but the Ezra actually, the help means very similar to the Holy Spirit. It is the same

518
00:34:49.440 --> 00:34:55.600
word used for Holy Spirit in the scripture. And for the scripture that says, the Lord God is my

519
00:34:55.600 --> 00:34:59.760
Ebenezer, my stone of help. That's the same word right there.

520
00:35:00.960 --> 00:35:04.000
Okay, so I've never really been taught marriage that way.

521
00:35:05.120 --> 00:35:11.520
And so what I'm saying is a lot of times the world has influenced the culture of the church,

522
00:35:11.520 --> 00:35:16.080
of the kingdom, and taught us this is what relationships is. That's why it takes so long

523
00:35:16.080 --> 00:35:22.320
to program ourselves out of we have sex, we kiss, how do you kiss, that you already when you see a

524
00:35:22.320 --> 00:35:28.720
person you're ready to jump in the bed. How did this get so programmed in us? We watch it on TV,

525
00:35:28.720 --> 00:35:33.680
we've been trained by culture from a very young age. How does a woman get entitled? Believe a

526
00:35:33.680 --> 00:35:39.680
man owes her, he should pursue her by chasing her down, by calling her all the time, and she

527
00:35:39.680 --> 00:35:45.200
should do nothing. And if a man don't pursue you, that ain't the one for you. He should call me

528
00:35:45.200 --> 00:35:50.400
first. Why would I should I say something to him? All of these type of thoughts process that we have

529
00:35:50.400 --> 00:35:57.360
so ingrained in us that even when you get in this program, you rebel against it. You say I'm not

530
00:35:57.360 --> 00:36:03.360
finna say nothing to no man. Why would I say something to him? If he wanted me, he'll say

531
00:36:03.360 --> 00:36:10.720
something to me. And then you've been single for 10 years with that same effort. Something that's

532
00:36:10.720 --> 00:36:18.880
not right about that, right? Sorry, I just wanted to laugh a little. But we see that, where do we

533
00:36:18.880 --> 00:36:25.280
see this at? We watch the Disney movies. Every prince came for the girl. She didn't go for him.

534
00:36:26.240 --> 00:36:33.760
She came looking for her. He came to rescue her. And all of us are like, I'll get a home when I

535
00:36:33.760 --> 00:36:37.840
get a husband. I'll get a this when I get a husband. When I get a husband, I'll get this.

536
00:36:37.840 --> 00:36:44.400
When I get a husband, I'll get this. Where are we getting this from? As if we're not fearfully

537
00:36:44.400 --> 00:36:51.280
and wonderfully made. I'm telling you, it's nothing wrong with you that the root system

538
00:36:51.360 --> 00:36:55.520
of some of the things that we have on the inside of us have already been planted in us. They're

539
00:36:55.520 --> 00:37:00.640
not the kingdom way. They're the world's way. And then the world's way is that you pull yourself up

540
00:37:00.640 --> 00:37:06.240
by your own bootstrap. You work for these things. And so that's why on the journey with God in

541
00:37:06.240 --> 00:37:13.440
partnership, striving is one of the hardest things to release. I'm trying to tell you, I bet you in

542
00:37:13.520 --> 00:37:20.640
two months, I said, okay, God, just have your way. Probably about 50 times. It's a constant

543
00:37:20.640 --> 00:37:25.760
surrender. It's a constant like, okay, okay, okay, okay. For real this time, for real this time.

544
00:37:25.760 --> 00:37:33.440
And every time it's like a surrender that I've never done before because he knows there's levels

545
00:37:33.440 --> 00:37:40.000
to us. There are levels in constant surrenderance will get you further than not opening up your

546
00:37:40.000 --> 00:37:49.520
mouth. For me, constant repentance keeps me in awe of who God is and who I am. When I realized

547
00:37:49.520 --> 00:37:56.800
that I've fallen short, I can see his grace and his goodness and his mercy. And so I repent all

548
00:37:56.800 --> 00:38:06.160
the time because it puts me in a place of humility to a God that saved my soul. And so oftentimes

549
00:38:06.160 --> 00:38:13.280
when you start aligning yourself in certain ways, it puts everything in perspective. And so when you

550
00:38:13.280 --> 00:38:20.560
keep a heart posture of surrenderance, it will keep God leading you and you partnering with him.

551
00:38:22.240 --> 00:38:26.560
It's so easy when you get to start talking to a person and it looks like they check all of the

552
00:38:26.560 --> 00:38:31.200
boxes, all of a sudden it sneaks in on you. You start partnering with that person

553
00:38:32.080 --> 00:38:37.280
and you be like, what happened? I thought everything was going so good. But perspective

554
00:38:37.280 --> 00:38:44.240
shift says, if all is well, I'm God defended. What can I learn from what just happened?

555
00:38:46.080 --> 00:38:51.440
So something happened so quickly that you started carrying everything. What did I say wrong? What did

556
00:38:51.440 --> 00:38:56.880
I do wrong? Could I say something better? What happened? And there's nothing wrong with evaluating

557
00:38:57.840 --> 00:39:02.000
things, but there is something that happens if you've been in this process long enough,

558
00:39:02.000 --> 00:39:05.360
if you did something at work or you operated with somebody in the family,

559
00:39:05.360 --> 00:39:08.880
sometimes we'll start out good and then we'll start carrying something we didn't even know

560
00:39:08.880 --> 00:39:12.240
we were carrying. And then when you surrender, you'll be like, oh, I feel so much better.

561
00:39:13.920 --> 00:39:18.320
I didn't even know I was carrying all this. Who's carried stuff and didn't know you were carrying?

562
00:39:19.760 --> 00:39:26.640
That's how quickly things are. And it's striving. It comes in so quickly because we were raised in

563
00:39:26.640 --> 00:39:32.960
it. Even in school, you compare your work to somebody else. Children want to be smarter than

564
00:39:32.960 --> 00:39:38.160
the next. This stuff starts early. Even my second graders, they'll drop their head because they

565
00:39:38.960 --> 00:39:44.560
don't know what this other child knows. This striving happens. And so it's ingrained in us.

566
00:39:44.560 --> 00:39:51.760
And that's why the kingdom way requires a lot more passion toward it. That I'm going to do

567
00:39:51.760 --> 00:39:56.640
this thing no matter what. That I'm going to keep pushing to partner with the Lord.

568
00:39:56.640 --> 00:39:59.840
And so in the world, it says, make it happen. You have to earn it.

569
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:03.000
You have to control things.

570
00:40:03.000 --> 00:40:06.440
Partnership is going to be hard to do partnership

571
00:40:06.440 --> 00:40:08.920
if you want to control.

572
00:40:08.920 --> 00:40:10.440
Now, nobody else got to say ouch,

573
00:40:10.440 --> 00:40:13.800
but I would definitely say ouch.

574
00:40:13.800 --> 00:40:16.320
It's hard to partner with the God

575
00:40:16.320 --> 00:40:18.760
when you have to have control, when

576
00:40:18.760 --> 00:40:20.800
you have to know the outcome, when you

577
00:40:20.800 --> 00:40:22.760
have to protect your own self.

578
00:40:22.760 --> 00:40:25.280
And that's why Jackie repeats to us over and over

579
00:40:25.280 --> 00:40:27.400
that we have to be God defended.

580
00:40:27.400 --> 00:40:30.400
But even that is a faith walk.

581
00:40:30.400 --> 00:40:32.320
If you lived your life and you've not

582
00:40:32.320 --> 00:40:33.880
partnered with him before, you don't

583
00:40:33.880 --> 00:40:36.000
know a God that defends you.

584
00:40:36.000 --> 00:40:39.240
You may know a scripture that says it.

585
00:40:39.240 --> 00:40:41.320
You may know somebody else's story,

586
00:40:41.320 --> 00:40:44.720
but you don't have yours yet, and this is yours.

587
00:40:44.720 --> 00:40:46.760
This is the good news for you.

588
00:40:46.760 --> 00:40:49.480
Stop beating yourself up because you don't

589
00:40:49.480 --> 00:40:50.640
know how to be God defended.

590
00:40:50.640 --> 00:40:52.440
This is your story.

591
00:40:52.440 --> 00:40:54.200
You're going to tell somebody else about how

592
00:40:54.200 --> 00:40:55.600
God defended you in dating.

593
00:40:55.600 --> 00:40:57.000
You're going to tell somebody else

594
00:40:57.000 --> 00:40:58.720
about how God kept you in dating.

595
00:40:58.720 --> 00:41:01.480
So if you never had a God defended story, here it is now.

596
00:41:01.480 --> 00:41:03.040
You're building yours now.

597
00:41:03.040 --> 00:41:04.840
Some of us are building a lot of things

598
00:41:04.840 --> 00:41:06.640
for the very first time, and that's

599
00:41:06.640 --> 00:41:09.400
why we ask you to give yourself grace

600
00:41:09.400 --> 00:41:11.720
and know that all is well for you

601
00:41:11.720 --> 00:41:14.080
because this program is a safe haven.

602
00:41:14.080 --> 00:41:18.080
It is your place of restoration and renewal and equipping,

603
00:41:18.080 --> 00:41:20.640
where you get to be around like-minded people,

604
00:41:20.640 --> 00:41:23.000
where you get to show up and bring your things

605
00:41:23.000 --> 00:41:25.520
and somebody can speak life back into you.

606
00:41:25.520 --> 00:41:28.240
You are building the very thing that some of us

607
00:41:28.240 --> 00:41:29.120
are reaching for.

608
00:41:29.120 --> 00:41:32.120
Some of us already have it, and some of us are building it.

609
00:41:32.120 --> 00:41:33.640
And it's nothing wrong with building

610
00:41:33.640 --> 00:41:37.000
because once you build it, you have it forever.

611
00:41:37.000 --> 00:41:40.920
It's not going anywhere.

612
00:41:40.920 --> 00:41:41.640
You see?

613
00:41:41.640 --> 00:41:43.760
So yeah, I got a little excited.

614
00:41:43.760 --> 00:41:44.480
Yes.

615
00:41:44.480 --> 00:41:48.280
Anyway, so in the world, the world's way is control.

616
00:41:48.280 --> 00:41:50.800
And that's why in dating, we want certainty.

617
00:41:50.800 --> 00:41:52.560
And so a lot of times, we'll say, I'm not

618
00:41:52.560 --> 00:41:53.560
about to waste my time.

619
00:41:53.560 --> 00:41:55.120
Either it's my husband or not.

620
00:41:55.120 --> 00:41:56.320
No, I'm not doing that.

621
00:41:56.320 --> 00:41:59.680
I need to know because I'm not investing in something.

622
00:41:59.680 --> 00:42:02.160
When you realize that, what happens

623
00:42:02.160 --> 00:42:05.600
is you're speaking out of fear.

624
00:42:05.600 --> 00:42:07.200
You're investing in yourself.

625
00:42:10.040 --> 00:42:12.960
That's who you're investing in.

626
00:42:12.960 --> 00:42:15.360
You're not investing in the man.

627
00:42:15.360 --> 00:42:18.560
Fear is, well, if I put myself into it,

628
00:42:18.560 --> 00:42:20.880
I may end up being hurt.

629
00:42:20.880 --> 00:42:23.360
And I don't want to be hurt.

630
00:42:23.400 --> 00:42:25.480
That's fear.

631
00:42:25.480 --> 00:42:27.160
Newsflash.

632
00:42:27.160 --> 00:42:29.000
That's what that is.

633
00:42:29.000 --> 00:42:30.600
It's protection.

634
00:42:30.600 --> 00:42:32.640
It's guarding myself.

635
00:42:32.640 --> 00:42:35.600
And then Jackie says to you, you're a guy defending.

636
00:42:35.600 --> 00:42:37.680
And you're like, what does that mean anyway?

637
00:42:37.680 --> 00:42:39.600
And what is a yes, tell us a no?

638
00:42:39.600 --> 00:42:40.680
I don't know.

639
00:42:40.680 --> 00:42:42.720
Is it now?

640
00:42:42.720 --> 00:42:46.160
I used to get so frustrated because I'm like,

641
00:42:46.160 --> 00:42:47.720
what am I supposed to do?

642
00:42:47.720 --> 00:42:48.480
Do I keep going?

643
00:42:48.480 --> 00:42:49.120
Do I stop?

644
00:42:49.120 --> 00:42:49.920
Do I take a break?

645
00:42:49.920 --> 00:42:50.960
Is it yes, tell us a no?

646
00:42:50.960 --> 00:42:51.600
I don't know.

647
00:42:51.600 --> 00:42:52.840
What do you mean is it yes, tell us a no?

648
00:42:52.840 --> 00:42:54.080
What is this based on?

649
00:42:54.080 --> 00:42:55.280
I don't know.

650
00:42:55.280 --> 00:42:57.440
I mean, does he have to believe in God?

651
00:42:57.440 --> 00:42:59.080
Does he really have to believe in God?

652
00:42:59.080 --> 00:43:00.600
I mean, I don't know.

653
00:43:00.600 --> 00:43:03.640
And so it's so much.

654
00:43:03.640 --> 00:43:08.080
But when you stay in the process long enough,

655
00:43:08.080 --> 00:43:10.840
it really does become very clear.

656
00:43:10.840 --> 00:43:14.240
So anyway, in the world's way, in the world's system,

657
00:43:14.240 --> 00:43:15.360
we hurry things.

658
00:43:15.360 --> 00:43:17.240
There's a performance that's happened.

659
00:43:17.240 --> 00:43:18.960
I don't know if you dated long enough.

660
00:43:18.960 --> 00:43:20.520
You've never been on a date before.

661
00:43:20.520 --> 00:43:22.640
I've been on so many dates.

662
00:43:22.640 --> 00:43:25.920
I would have never believed in my life

663
00:43:25.920 --> 00:43:28.640
that that seven dates to Spring Challenge

664
00:43:28.640 --> 00:43:31.200
that I went on maybe four years ago

665
00:43:31.200 --> 00:43:33.960
would have landed me with so many dates I can't even keep.

666
00:43:33.960 --> 00:43:35.720
I don't even know the name of all the people

667
00:43:35.720 --> 00:43:38.480
that I've been on a date with since my seven dates to Spring

668
00:43:38.480 --> 00:43:41.200
Challenge and looking at Jackie on the screen saying,

669
00:43:41.200 --> 00:43:44.840
just go on a date for goodness sake.

670
00:43:49.680 --> 00:43:52.520
I was the queen of, I don't want to put my picture

671
00:43:52.560 --> 00:43:54.920
on a dating app so somebody could judge me.

672
00:43:54.920 --> 00:43:55.880
Uh-uh.

673
00:43:55.880 --> 00:43:57.000
I don't want to this.

674
00:43:57.000 --> 00:43:58.200
I don't sell everything.

675
00:43:58.200 --> 00:44:00.920
I'm telling you y'all, there's not

676
00:44:00.920 --> 00:44:03.720
one thing you ladies have said that I have not

677
00:44:03.720 --> 00:44:06.840
heard or said myself.

678
00:44:06.840 --> 00:44:10.400
So anyway, and so I've been on enough dates

679
00:44:10.400 --> 00:44:14.000
that I notice when I perform, that I notice when

680
00:44:14.000 --> 00:44:16.560
I want to show somebody how good I am,

681
00:44:16.560 --> 00:44:19.320
how great of a pick I would be.

682
00:44:19.320 --> 00:44:21.320
It's not you per se.

683
00:44:21.320 --> 00:44:23.720
It's your wiring.

684
00:44:23.720 --> 00:44:28.320
It takes great intentionality not to perform.

685
00:44:28.320 --> 00:44:30.480
My sister would often say sometimes dating

686
00:44:30.480 --> 00:44:32.640
is one of the biggest scams she's ever known

687
00:44:32.640 --> 00:44:34.640
because people send their representative and not

688
00:44:34.640 --> 00:44:36.040
themselves.

689
00:44:36.040 --> 00:44:40.160
And when I realized that I too had a tendency or propensity

690
00:44:40.160 --> 00:44:42.960
to send my representative, I bend against it

691
00:44:42.960 --> 00:44:44.240
in every way I can.

692
00:44:44.240 --> 00:44:45.920
I rebel.

693
00:44:45.920 --> 00:44:48.640
And I show up fooling myself.

694
00:44:48.640 --> 00:44:51.600
And I say to myself, if you choose me,

695
00:44:51.600 --> 00:44:53.840
you're going to know who you're choosing

696
00:44:53.840 --> 00:44:54.960
because I'm going to be me.

697
00:44:54.960 --> 00:44:56.600
I can't be nobody else.

698
00:44:56.600 --> 00:44:59.000
I could, but I refuse to.

699
00:44:59.000 --> 00:45:01.440
And so when that man looks.

700
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:08.560
at me and say I choose you he definitely chose me because I'm gonna be all of me that I can be

701
00:45:09.360 --> 00:45:16.080
right and so that's a part of the world's way of dating performing hurrying rushing trying to get

702
00:45:16.080 --> 00:45:23.760
somewhere but in the kingdom it's not that way we abide in the father as he abides in us we partner

703
00:45:23.760 --> 00:45:32.320
you know the spirit has a coming sense to it very it's a stillness right it's a it's a still when

704
00:45:32.320 --> 00:45:37.680
the when the spirit is leading you there's no hurry or rush and even when the lord puts a

705
00:45:37.680 --> 00:45:43.200
passion upon you and a speed and an acceleration over your life it almost feels like he's moving

706
00:45:43.200 --> 00:45:47.680
and you're trying to catch up with him it's totally different when you're talking to somebody

707
00:45:47.680 --> 00:45:52.640
and you just can't wait to get up close you you can feel loud a little bit it feels so good

708
00:45:52.640 --> 00:45:58.800
I don't know I don't know it do feel good you literally can tell it's a feeling and not an

709
00:45:58.800 --> 00:46:04.640
acceleration from the lord and not something that the lord is operating in right because it just

710
00:46:04.640 --> 00:46:12.880
feel feel feel so good anyway and so in the kingdom we receive we trust we obey and we walk

711
00:46:12.880 --> 00:46:18.720
with god and in the kingdom we're not afraid to take our time we're not afraid that we're gonna

712
00:46:18.720 --> 00:46:26.880
lose you just you just if it's mine it's mine I've never seen the righteous forsaken nor his seed

713
00:46:26.880 --> 00:46:32.400
begging for bread you can stop never seen the righteous forsaken nor his seed operating in

714
00:46:32.400 --> 00:46:39.120
scarcity to beg means you're without and you lack but the righteous have never been forsaken

715
00:46:39.920 --> 00:46:44.640
never and he promised you if you would seek he first the kingdom of heaven and his righteous

716
00:46:44.640 --> 00:46:49.600
that all of these things what's your all all of these things will be added unto you

717
00:46:50.800 --> 00:46:56.400
and so what does that look like in dating right now you're seeking the kingdom the righteous way

718
00:46:56.400 --> 00:47:01.200
is marriage that's the way that's what you're seeking that's what you're doing that's what

719
00:47:01.200 --> 00:47:06.320
you're partnering with and so I want to do this question I want to wrap it up there's a lot of

720
00:47:06.320 --> 00:47:10.800
other things we could tap on but I believe that you guys are tracking with me that this kingdom

721
00:47:10.800 --> 00:47:16.560
is a kingdom of partnership and as quick as we can get you to partnership even the journey to

722
00:47:16.560 --> 00:47:21.760
partnership is beautiful even when you jump out and you jump back on the next day it's still

723
00:47:21.760 --> 00:47:25.680
beautiful some of us may jump out partnership the night before and wake up the next morning

724
00:47:25.680 --> 00:47:30.400
restored and renewed because our souls has worked some things out as we slept because we couldn't

725
00:47:30.480 --> 00:47:36.880
handle it while we were awake and we're like okay god I could do this I could do this I could do this

726
00:47:36.880 --> 00:47:41.280
what we gonna do next so we can all do that so this is what I want you guys to think about

727
00:47:41.280 --> 00:47:44.080
because this is going to help you identify things much more quickly

728
00:47:45.920 --> 00:47:50.960
now that we've talked about striving kingdom partnership what are some areas that you can

729
00:47:50.960 --> 00:47:56.560
identify in your dating life or even in your personal life where you feel like you may have

730
00:47:56.560 --> 00:48:00.160
been striving and not partnering with the lord

731
00:48:08.560 --> 00:48:17.120
so let's do a couple of if I am striving I try to make it happen I'm trying to control things

732
00:48:17.120 --> 00:48:22.800
I'm trying to hurry things performance striving is very much the world's way you're trying to

733
00:48:22.800 --> 00:48:30.080
secure an outcome but when we do it the kingdom way the kingdom way is abiding and partnering

734
00:48:30.080 --> 00:48:36.720
trusting and receiving obeying walking with him so what areas of your life can you identify that

735
00:48:36.720 --> 00:48:42.480
maybe you've been striving and not partnering or what areas of your life can you identify that

736
00:48:42.480 --> 00:48:48.480
you're actually partnering and not striving and so you can do either which way you want to

737
00:48:48.480 --> 00:48:52.880
changing careers that's good that can be very tense

738
00:49:02.240 --> 00:49:06.560
and you could just post it in the chat or Roberta you want to share yeah go ahead Roberta

739
00:49:06.880 --> 00:49:13.440
yeah I've just been super discouraged and I I feel like I've been forcing myself

740
00:49:14.400 --> 00:49:20.960
to talk to men and just forcing myself and I'm like this is so stupid

741
00:49:22.960 --> 00:49:28.480
yeah so kind of discouraged so I just like want to I just backed off of everything and I'm like

742
00:49:28.800 --> 00:49:38.320
I mean we love certainty like you always say so it's really hard I'm finding myself like I

743
00:49:38.320 --> 00:49:44.480
I can be there for a brief moment of time and then it slips away a brief moment of time and it slips

744
00:49:44.480 --> 00:49:55.360
away but yeah so I'm I'm just I'm I'm just I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm

745
00:49:55.360 --> 00:49:59.840
but yeah so I'm I'm just like I just

746
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:02.000
I feel stuck.

747
00:50:02.000 --> 00:50:03.560
Yeah.

748
00:50:03.560 --> 00:50:04.060
Yeah.

749
00:50:06.880 --> 00:50:11.640
No, I hear your heart on that, feeling stuck.

750
00:50:11.640 --> 00:50:14.520
I think also to add what you're saying,

751
00:50:14.520 --> 00:50:18.300
feeling stuck is showing that feeling stuck

752
00:50:18.300 --> 00:50:21.040
is kind of a good thing, because it's when you feel stuck

753
00:50:21.040 --> 00:50:23.600
that you kind of give up.

754
00:50:23.600 --> 00:50:26.040
You'd be like, I'm stuck, Lord.

755
00:50:26.040 --> 00:50:27.600
What am I supposed to do?

756
00:50:27.600 --> 00:50:29.520
That's when a real, what am I supposed to do

757
00:50:29.520 --> 00:50:31.520
comes out of us, when we feel so stuck.

758
00:50:34.720 --> 00:50:37.120
The reason why I'm sharing is because, I mean,

759
00:50:37.120 --> 00:50:39.680
literally, in prayer just two days ago,

760
00:50:39.680 --> 00:50:43.560
before the Lord weeping, I said, I just stuck.

761
00:50:43.560 --> 00:50:46.040
I don't know what to do.

762
00:50:46.040 --> 00:50:47.120
I don't know what to do.

763
00:50:47.120 --> 00:50:48.960
There's so many changes, and so many things

764
00:50:48.960 --> 00:50:51.560
are happening so fast.

765
00:50:51.560 --> 00:50:53.240
I don't know what to do.

766
00:50:53.240 --> 00:50:56.800
And sure enough is when I confess that, that He comes

767
00:50:56.800 --> 00:50:59.640
along, and He brings peace, and He comes along,

768
00:50:59.640 --> 00:51:01.120
and He brings solution.

769
00:51:01.120 --> 00:51:04.160
And so, Roberta, that's why I believe that a stuck place is

770
00:51:04.160 --> 00:51:07.760
a good place, because in Christ, we never stay stuck long,

771
00:51:07.760 --> 00:51:10.920
because that's when we call out to Him, and He comes.

772
00:51:10.920 --> 00:51:12.920
He always have, and He always will.

773
00:51:12.920 --> 00:51:15.880
And I know we can think of other stuck places in our life.

774
00:51:15.880 --> 00:51:17.320
Roberta, you could think of a time

775
00:51:17.320 --> 00:51:19.920
you were stuck before now, and you're not in that place

776
00:51:19.920 --> 00:51:22.480
anymore.

777
00:51:22.480 --> 00:51:25.040
Sometimes stuck keeps us still long enough

778
00:51:25.080 --> 00:51:26.520
to see where our help comes from.

779
00:51:29.880 --> 00:51:30.920
You know?

780
00:51:30.920 --> 00:51:32.840
Yeah.

781
00:51:32.840 --> 00:51:33.720
Yeah, that's good.

782
00:51:33.720 --> 00:51:35.080
Thank you for sharing.

783
00:51:35.080 --> 00:51:36.000
Thank you for sharing.

784
00:51:36.000 --> 00:51:37.720
I try to create an atmosphere where we can share,

785
00:51:37.720 --> 00:51:39.160
because I wasn't trying to fix it.

786
00:51:39.160 --> 00:51:41.440
I was just adding to what you were sharing.

787
00:51:41.440 --> 00:51:42.040
Yeah.

788
00:51:42.040 --> 00:51:44.640
I want you to feel free to share without a fixer.

789
00:51:44.640 --> 00:51:45.360
Thank you.

790
00:51:45.360 --> 00:51:46.120
Yeah, of course.

791
00:51:46.120 --> 00:51:46.800
You're welcome.

792
00:51:51.640 --> 00:51:53.760
Kim, were you about to share something, Kim Smith,

793
00:51:53.800 --> 00:51:55.600
or were you just unmuted?

794
00:51:55.600 --> 00:51:56.840
Oh, I didn't mean to unmute.

795
00:51:56.840 --> 00:51:57.880
I'm sorry.

796
00:51:57.880 --> 00:51:59.000
Cool, cool.

797
00:51:59.000 --> 00:51:59.520
All right.

798
00:52:02.920 --> 00:52:04.920
Let me see what else we see here.

799
00:52:04.920 --> 00:52:05.920
Annoyed with these guys.

800
00:52:05.920 --> 00:52:08.720
I feel like I'm going through the motions.

801
00:52:08.720 --> 00:52:12.640
I understand it's a lot of ebbs and flows, but I know.

802
00:52:12.640 --> 00:52:13.160
I know.

803
00:52:13.160 --> 00:52:17.680
And sometimes, you know, breaks are definitely needed.

804
00:52:17.680 --> 00:52:19.040
My Lord.

805
00:52:19.040 --> 00:52:21.080
I know in the past, in my career, I was striving,

806
00:52:21.080 --> 00:52:23.440
but I have been able to move past that.

807
00:52:23.440 --> 00:52:26.920
And I know I'm where God has me.

808
00:52:26.920 --> 00:52:29.400
I know that I'm able to abide in God.

809
00:52:29.400 --> 00:52:32.080
That's so good.

810
00:52:32.080 --> 00:52:34.440
You know, one of the things I told the Lord today

811
00:52:34.440 --> 00:52:36.360
with me learning second grade, y'all

812
00:52:36.360 --> 00:52:41.560
know I actually screenshot my lesson plan or prep

813
00:52:41.560 --> 00:52:42.800
into Chat GPT.

814
00:52:42.800 --> 00:52:45.960
So Chat GPT can tell me what to teach second graders,

815
00:52:45.960 --> 00:52:48.680
because the language is new for me.

816
00:52:48.680 --> 00:52:51.240
And so today, I was walking from the printer,

817
00:52:51.240 --> 00:52:53.720
and I told the Lord as I was walking,

818
00:52:53.720 --> 00:52:57.160
I said, will you make this job light so that I could

819
00:52:57.160 --> 00:52:59.880
carry your burdens in prayer?

820
00:52:59.880 --> 00:53:03.280
Will you make the things that I have to do in this world light

821
00:53:03.280 --> 00:53:06.040
so that I can tend to the altar of my God in the way

822
00:53:06.040 --> 00:53:07.640
that you've called me to?

823
00:53:07.640 --> 00:53:10.680
Because my first job is as a priest of God.

824
00:53:10.680 --> 00:53:13.960
My second job is the one that I go out to every day.

825
00:53:13.960 --> 00:53:17.320
And when you're first learning, I still

826
00:53:17.320 --> 00:53:19.360
remember when I had to learn third grade.

827
00:53:19.440 --> 00:53:21.760
It's a really steep learning curve

828
00:53:21.760 --> 00:53:23.640
of learning the curriculum, making sure

829
00:53:23.640 --> 00:53:24.960
that you're delivering.

830
00:53:24.960 --> 00:53:28.000
And it's early, up early, early, early.

831
00:53:28.000 --> 00:53:29.760
I don't do well late at night, because I

832
00:53:29.760 --> 00:53:31.800
have to get up early for prayer and worship.

833
00:53:31.800 --> 00:53:34.520
My first job, my first life.

834
00:53:34.520 --> 00:53:39.000
So it requires, it's always this, I thought of,

835
00:53:39.000 --> 00:53:40.000
am I doing enough?

836
00:53:40.000 --> 00:53:41.320
Did I get it right?

837
00:53:41.320 --> 00:53:42.480
Did I get it right?

838
00:53:42.480 --> 00:53:43.680
Did I get it right?

839
00:53:43.680 --> 00:53:46.080
And so I just told the Lord.

840
00:53:46.080 --> 00:53:49.440
I said, can you take this?

841
00:53:52.200 --> 00:53:54.080
Can you take this?

842
00:53:54.080 --> 00:53:56.520
Can you take this relationship I'm in right now?

843
00:53:56.520 --> 00:53:58.600
Can you take this?

844
00:53:58.600 --> 00:54:02.080
Can you take these things and make them light

845
00:54:02.080 --> 00:54:04.760
so that I won't care about them?

846
00:54:04.760 --> 00:54:06.920
And that I can put my focus on the thing that's,

847
00:54:06.920 --> 00:54:09.360
because that's where the torn is.

848
00:54:09.360 --> 00:54:11.960
I'm trying to juggle a load of one

849
00:54:11.960 --> 00:54:15.040
that I already was carrying and merging with something new.

850
00:54:15.080 --> 00:54:16.960
And it's just all of this stuff and it's juggling.

851
00:54:16.960 --> 00:54:18.440
That's how life is sometimes.

852
00:54:18.440 --> 00:54:22.160
It's the back and forth of things that can make it heavy.

853
00:54:22.160 --> 00:54:25.320
Yeah, and it was so funny because as soon as I said it

854
00:54:25.320 --> 00:54:26.480
to him, I turned the corner and I was like,

855
00:54:26.480 --> 00:54:28.200
but wait a minute, you said,

856
00:54:28.200 --> 00:54:30.280
cast all my cares upon you, right?

857
00:54:30.280 --> 00:54:32.400
And then you said that your burden was easy

858
00:54:32.400 --> 00:54:33.880
and your yoke was light.

859
00:54:34.960 --> 00:54:38.040
So what is this business I got going on?

860
00:54:38.040 --> 00:54:39.320
My, my, my.

861
00:54:40.320 --> 00:54:41.440
Hmm.

862
00:54:41.440 --> 00:54:42.680
Yeah.

863
00:54:42.680 --> 00:54:45.120
Thank you ladies so much for sharing.

864
00:54:47.240 --> 00:54:50.920
Well, let me see if there's something else.

865
00:54:50.920 --> 00:54:55.920
Let's do a little coaching for about 20 minutes here.

866
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:02.240
Go for it, ladies.

867
00:55:06.200 --> 00:55:07.800
And as you're prepared to raise your hand,

868
00:55:07.800 --> 00:55:10.720
whoever you may be, I want you to, you know,

869
00:55:10.720 --> 00:55:13.620
starting tonight and throughout the rest of the week,

870
00:55:13.620 --> 00:55:15.560
ask the Lord where you're carrying something

871
00:55:15.560 --> 00:55:16.840
He wants you to release.

872
00:55:16.840 --> 00:55:18.520
You can even ask Him tonight.

873
00:55:18.520 --> 00:55:20.360
What am I carrying that I need to carry?

874
00:55:20.360 --> 00:55:21.680
What am I striving?

875
00:55:21.680 --> 00:55:23.160
Where am I striving, Lord?

876
00:55:24.880 --> 00:55:28.360
You know, even in, I think Catherine, you were first,

877
00:55:28.360 --> 00:55:32.520
even in my health, where I'm working, meal prepping,

878
00:55:32.520 --> 00:55:35.120
getting my meals out right, doing these things,

879
00:55:35.120 --> 00:55:38.600
there's a striving that comes with it, I can tell.

880
00:55:38.600 --> 00:55:42.760
I just get tired and it's just like, golly, you know,

881
00:55:42.760 --> 00:55:45.640
like I literally be like, golly, you know,

882
00:55:45.640 --> 00:55:47.720
like when I feel like I'm not getting the results

883
00:55:47.720 --> 00:55:49.400
I need to get, even though I've been meal prepping

884
00:55:49.400 --> 00:55:51.720
for years and I've been wanting, you know,

885
00:55:51.720 --> 00:55:53.120
eating a certain way for years,

886
00:55:53.120 --> 00:55:55.640
and then you may have a weekend or eat sugar.

887
00:55:55.640 --> 00:55:57.000
I don't know, but it's just like,

888
00:55:57.000 --> 00:55:59.320
it's all this striving and the Lord has told me

889
00:55:59.320 --> 00:56:01.040
you keep striving.

890
00:56:01.040 --> 00:56:03.640
You keep working so hard.

891
00:56:03.640 --> 00:56:05.320
Relax.

892
00:56:05.320 --> 00:56:08.640
There is, there's a grace for freedom

893
00:56:08.640 --> 00:56:10.360
that we have to tap into.

894
00:56:10.360 --> 00:56:14.440
And so I often pray this, God, give me grace for grace.

895
00:56:14.440 --> 00:56:17.180
Give me grace for grace, for grace, for grace.

896
00:56:17.180 --> 00:56:19.320
A lot of times people may ask, well, how do,

897
00:56:19.320 --> 00:56:22.000
maybe, you know, how do you, for me just personally,

898
00:56:22.000 --> 00:56:24.040
how do you carry this type of prayer life?

899
00:56:24.040 --> 00:56:25.480
Or how do you this or that?

900
00:56:25.480 --> 00:56:28.040
And I say, it's the grace of God.

901
00:56:28.040 --> 00:56:31.360
And sometimes we forget that there's a grace available

902
00:56:31.360 --> 00:56:34.320
for where you are, right where you are.

903
00:56:34.320 --> 00:56:36.040
You don't need grace for tomorrow,

904
00:56:36.040 --> 00:56:37.480
for tomorrow hasn't come.

905
00:56:37.480 --> 00:56:40.320
You need grace for today.

906
00:56:40.320 --> 00:56:42.240
You don't need grace for yesterday.

907
00:56:42.240 --> 00:56:44.400
You need grace for today.

908
00:56:46.240 --> 00:56:48.040
Today.

909
00:56:48.040 --> 00:56:51.920
And so I pray this prayer very, very, very often.

910
00:56:51.920 --> 00:56:54.080
Give me grace for grace.

911
00:56:54.080 --> 00:56:55.640
Grace for grace, for grace, for grace.

912
00:56:55.640 --> 00:56:57.760
I need the grace of God.

913
00:56:57.760 --> 00:57:00.400
The grace of God comes to bring the ease.

914
00:57:00.400 --> 00:57:02.760
It gives you ability to do those things

915
00:57:02.760 --> 00:57:04.740
that you cannot do on your own.

916
00:57:05.580 --> 00:57:08.040
It comes and gives you capacity.

917
00:57:10.840 --> 00:57:15.120
So I would encourage you ladies to wake up in the morning,

918
00:57:15.120 --> 00:57:16.560
even in the middle of your day,

919
00:57:16.560 --> 00:57:18.080
even when you go to sleep at night and say,

920
00:57:18.080 --> 00:57:20.100
God, give me grace.

921
00:57:20.100 --> 00:57:21.800
Give me grace for grace.

922
00:57:22.800 --> 00:57:27.120
That I may do this thing, that I may partner with you.

923
00:57:27.120 --> 00:57:30.260
You need the grace of God for partnership.

924
00:57:31.520 --> 00:57:33.440
It's no way around it.

925
00:57:34.720 --> 00:57:39.720
You need the grace of God in your life to partner with Him

926
00:57:41.040 --> 00:57:43.640
because He doesn't operate like we do.

927
00:57:43.640 --> 00:57:45.480
His thoughts are not like our thoughts

928
00:57:45.480 --> 00:57:47.640
and His ways are not like our ways.

929
00:57:47.640 --> 00:57:51.560
You're partnering with a God that you don't know His ways.

930
00:57:52.320 --> 00:57:53.160
You don't know His thoughts.

931
00:57:53.160 --> 00:57:54.440
And so you're thinking one thing,

932
00:57:54.440 --> 00:57:55.980
He's thinking something else.

933
00:57:57.680 --> 00:58:00.120
You're thinking, surely that's the one that He said,

934
00:58:00.120 --> 00:58:02.320
oh no, He out there tending to the bag.

935
00:58:02.320 --> 00:58:04.780
Just, He out tending in the field.

936
00:58:04.780 --> 00:58:07.920
Oh, you're dealing with a guy who told Samuel,

937
00:58:07.920 --> 00:58:10.360
oh, you don't see men's hearts the way I do them.

938
00:58:10.360 --> 00:58:12.160
You judge after the outer appearance.

939
00:58:12.160 --> 00:58:13.900
I, the Lord, judge the heart of man.

940
00:58:13.900 --> 00:58:17.780
I'm telling you, you need grace to partner with the Lord.

941
00:58:19.120 --> 00:58:20.520
Just when you figure it out,

942
00:58:20.520 --> 00:58:23.540
He do it just to laugh at you and be like, nope.

943
00:58:26.600 --> 00:58:28.120
Trust in the Lord with all your heart

944
00:58:28.120 --> 00:58:30.600
and lean out into your own understanding

945
00:58:30.600 --> 00:58:32.440
and all your ways acknowledge Him

946
00:58:32.440 --> 00:58:34.440
and He will direct your path.

947
00:58:36.400 --> 00:58:39.760
You almost kind of guaranteed to go a different way.

948
00:58:39.760 --> 00:58:41.520
So trust in Him with all your heart

949
00:58:41.520 --> 00:58:43.640
and lean out into your own understanding.

950
00:58:43.640 --> 00:58:45.360
You need grace to do this.

951
00:58:45.360 --> 00:58:47.920
And so I just want to implore that upon your hearts.

952
00:58:47.920 --> 00:58:49.040
Ask the Lord for grace.

953
00:58:49.040 --> 00:58:51.120
Lord, I ask you for grace upon grace

954
00:58:51.120 --> 00:58:53.440
for every one of these ladies on this call

955
00:58:53.440 --> 00:58:57.560
that they may do the work that you've brought them to do.

956
00:58:58.620 --> 00:59:00.840
That they may finish strong.

957
00:59:00.840 --> 00:59:02.800
For He who began a good work in you

958
00:59:02.800 --> 00:59:04.880
is faithful to complete it.

959
00:59:04.880 --> 00:59:09.720
And so I just declare over their lives, grace for grace,

960
00:59:09.720 --> 00:59:13.320
so that they may know a God who partners with His children

961
00:59:14.200 --> 00:59:16.000
to bring them into the promised land,

962
00:59:16.000 --> 00:59:18.680
the land that He's already declared to be theirs.

963
00:59:19.280 --> 00:59:20.200
Thank you for it, Lord.

964
00:59:20.200 --> 00:59:21.480
All right, go Catherine.

965
00:59:28.920 --> 00:59:30.280
Catherine Clark.

966
00:59:33.840 --> 00:59:38.840
Yes, my whole thing that I've been going through lately,

967
00:59:40.360 --> 00:59:43.440
and I think I enjoyed it at first,

968
00:59:43.440 --> 00:59:46.120
but it's a big trigger for me

969
00:59:46.120 --> 00:59:49.720
because I know I came into this group,

970
00:59:49.720 --> 00:59:51.040
I've been divorced,

971
00:59:51.040 --> 00:59:53.680
and I'm looking for the right godly husband.

972
00:59:53.680 --> 00:59:56.960
So it was nice at first that with my boyfriend,

973
00:59:56.960 --> 00:59:58.520
that it's been over a month,

974
00:59:59.400 --> 01:00:00.560
it's been over a month.

975
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:05.800
month exclusive. It's been nice talking about like, cause I know it's a marriage minded

976
01:00:05.800 --> 01:00:11.000
relationship. It's been nice talking about, you know, like what kind of wedding, like

977
01:00:11.000 --> 01:00:20.480
he envisioned. And it was like even nice hearing how he would propose until it was like, um,

978
01:00:20.480 --> 01:00:25.260
you know, it's one of those like, we're not there yet. And he's like, I'm just thinking

979
01:00:25.260 --> 01:00:33.700
about my future. And so I'm, I'm learning that I really can't handle those types of

980
01:00:33.700 --> 01:00:43.520
conversations until we're there. And he said that it would take him at least six months.

981
01:00:43.520 --> 01:00:49.180
Like I mean, he basically was saying it would take him six months where he would know. So

982
01:00:49.180 --> 01:00:55.540
I've been feeling prompted on my heart that I really need to set a boundary with that

983
01:00:55.540 --> 01:01:02.460
because I'm noticing it's upsetting me. I'm noticing, I'm talking to my best friend, Eric,

984
01:01:02.460 --> 01:01:08.380
who's part of my relationship advisory circle. Like, you know, I don't want to wait years

985
01:01:08.380 --> 01:01:11.500
cause like, I don't know, somehow he got in the conversation of, Oh, we got to wait on

986
01:01:11.500 --> 01:01:17.420
God's perfect timing. And if it takes a while, like if it takes years, like it's his timing,

987
01:01:17.420 --> 01:01:26.180
whatever it was, I'm learning that I, I cannot handle talking about any of this stuff unless

988
01:01:26.180 --> 01:01:33.900
we're seriously there and it's really something I'm realizing. So that's what I'm, what I'm

989
01:01:33.900 --> 01:01:40.460
really going through a hundred percent. Yeah, that's really good wisdom. Um, yeah, that's,

990
01:01:40.460 --> 01:01:45.580
yeah, that's really good wisdom to recognize it because what actually happens, the dynamics

991
01:01:45.660 --> 01:01:50.940
of that is you don't have the infrastructure to uphold that type of conversation.

992
01:01:54.220 --> 01:01:58.620
You don't have the infrastructure to make those types of decisions. And so that's why it's so

993
01:01:58.620 --> 01:02:04.780
hard because the equity isn't there. Right. And I also feel like we're in different places where

994
01:02:04.780 --> 01:02:12.380
he's never been married. And I feel like I've had it worse because in my opinion, it's worse

995
01:02:12.380 --> 01:02:16.940
to have a bad marriage that ended in divorce and it was unwanted. And I've been listening to

996
01:02:17.900 --> 01:02:23.740
Lisa Turkovich. I don't know if I'm saying her name right, but she wrote that book, um, surviving

997
01:02:23.740 --> 01:02:29.340
an unwanted divorce and all of that. But I feel like that's where I'm coming from and that's my

998
01:02:29.340 --> 01:02:35.420
lens and where he's coming from is he's never even had the experience of marriage. So for me,

999
01:02:35.420 --> 01:02:42.940
I feel like it hurts me worse to talk about this stuff, but we're not there yet knowing that I've

1000
01:02:42.940 --> 01:02:49.500
went through, I've had it and it was ripped away from me. So it, I mean, I'm glad I'm like

1001
01:02:50.460 --> 01:02:55.340
understanding myself and realizing myself more, especially in this ministry and in this group.

1002
01:02:55.980 --> 01:03:01.100
But I, I definitely, I'm definitely feeling like I'm going to have to set a boundary on him that,

1003
01:03:01.100 --> 01:03:04.300
you know, I really can't talk about these types of things until,

1004
01:03:04.860 --> 01:03:09.260
you know, then it's the six months or whichever, where we're seriously heading in that direction.

1005
01:03:09.260 --> 01:03:15.100
I mean, we're dating with marriage in mind, but if we're still like at the, you know,

1006
01:03:15.100 --> 01:03:18.620
getting to know each other as boyfriend and girlfriend and all that. And we're not

1007
01:03:18.620 --> 01:03:23.660
there yet. Like to me, I'm like, I, I just can't handle it, especially since I've gone through

1008
01:03:23.660 --> 01:03:29.260
a divorce. Yeah. That's so wise. How long have you all been dating, knowing each other?

1009
01:03:29.820 --> 01:03:38.380
Dating? We've known each other since May 3rd. We started dating since June 29th. Cause like,

1010
01:03:38.380 --> 01:03:41.980
we started off like getting to know each other, letting the school year wrap up. Plus I was

1011
01:03:41.980 --> 01:03:49.420
doing the heart work. So I wanted to wrap up that and we were, we just got exclusive July 13th.

1012
01:03:50.940 --> 01:03:55.900
Yeah. So you're figuring over a month. Exactly. Cause like now it's August 25th. So it's been

1013
01:03:55.900 --> 01:04:04.380
over a little over a month. So nowhere near six months or anything that we've been exclusive,

1014
01:04:04.380 --> 01:04:09.660
not even close. Let alone exactly. But I know you're saying you've been known for a while.

1015
01:04:09.660 --> 01:04:14.940
So even though you went exclusive, you know, you met him. I've known him since May 3rd. Correct.

1016
01:04:14.940 --> 01:04:18.940
But even then, even if I look at that, I'm like, Oh, it still hasn't even been,

1017
01:04:18.940 --> 01:04:21.980
it still hasn't even been a half a year that we've known each other. Correct.

1018
01:04:22.060 --> 01:04:26.620
Right. And did you say he made the come in and say two years?

1019
01:04:28.380 --> 01:04:35.340
He said in six months, he could know that originally he was saying six months,

1020
01:04:35.340 --> 01:04:41.660
he could know if, you know, a certain piece of jewelry should be bought. And if engagement was

1021
01:04:41.660 --> 01:04:46.540
a thought, but then with this last conversation, he's like, well, if it takes years, you know,

1022
01:04:46.540 --> 01:04:51.340
we got to trust in the Lord. And I mean, I can tell right now there's something else I'm

1023
01:04:51.340 --> 01:04:58.300
discovering. He's definitely a more mature Christian than I am, even though in addition

1024
01:04:58.300 --> 01:04:59.740
to this ministry, I've been.

1025
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:04.080
taking lay pastor classes, I still got a ways to go.

1026
01:05:04.080 --> 01:05:08.040
I mean, this is only gonna be my fifth one in the fall,

1027
01:05:08.040 --> 01:05:10.120
but I still got a ways to go,

1028
01:05:10.120 --> 01:05:14.080
and I still can tell he's more mature of a Christian.

1029
01:05:14.080 --> 01:05:17.080
And then, like I said, the whole fact of,

1030
01:05:17.080 --> 01:05:19.280
I had a divorce, he was never married,

1031
01:05:19.280 --> 01:05:21.960
I mean, that plays a role in it too,

1032
01:05:21.960 --> 01:05:25.600
that I really have to learn to trust God

1033
01:05:25.600 --> 01:05:28.440
after I know I've been disappointed,

1034
01:05:28.440 --> 01:05:30.640
that to me it felt like,

1035
01:05:30.640 --> 01:05:33.400
well, I thought it says in the word,

1036
01:05:33.400 --> 01:05:37.200
let no man separate what God has joined together,

1037
01:05:37.200 --> 01:05:39.960
and obviously my marriage ended in divorce.

1038
01:05:39.960 --> 01:05:42.080
So there's a lot of issues there,

1039
01:05:42.080 --> 01:05:46.560
but to some ways I would say he's more able

1040
01:05:46.560 --> 01:05:50.120
to be strong in the Lord to some extent than me.

1041
01:05:51.560 --> 01:05:55.880
Yeah, and so my encouragement to you is

1042
01:05:55.880 --> 01:05:58.440
that you definitely want to,

1043
01:05:58.440 --> 01:06:01.000
if you get to a six month mark,

1044
01:06:01.000 --> 01:06:04.200
you want to see, be very intentional

1045
01:06:04.200 --> 01:06:07.240
about which way the relationship is going,

1046
01:06:07.240 --> 01:06:10.040
because I do agree that more time is needed,

1047
01:06:11.120 --> 01:06:12.560
to get to know each other.

1048
01:06:12.560 --> 01:06:14.920
This has nothing to do with his maturity in the Lord

1049
01:06:14.920 --> 01:06:16.400
or your maturity in the Lord,

1050
01:06:16.400 --> 01:06:18.920
so I really encourage you to lay that to the side.

1051
01:06:19.440 --> 01:06:20.280
Um,

1052
01:06:23.680 --> 01:06:26.680
if he's choosing to date you and be with you,

1053
01:06:26.680 --> 01:06:27.680
but if he's saying that,

1054
01:06:27.680 --> 01:06:29.600
hey, your level of maturity doesn't match his

1055
01:06:29.600 --> 01:06:32.080
and he doesn't want to be with you, that's one thing.

1056
01:06:32.080 --> 01:06:34.560
So what I'm saying to you is,

1057
01:06:34.560 --> 01:06:37.760
if somebody tells you it could take years,

1058
01:06:37.760 --> 01:06:40.160
he probably said that because he probably felt

1059
01:06:40.160 --> 01:06:42.560
like you were like wanting him to make a decision right now.

1060
01:06:42.560 --> 01:06:44.200
That's a possibility.

1061
01:06:44.200 --> 01:06:46.060
But if you're not planning on having a boyfriend

1062
01:06:46.060 --> 01:06:48.840
for two years, I would encourage you in six months

1063
01:06:49.560 --> 01:06:50.960
to follow up and see where you are,

1064
01:06:50.960 --> 01:06:52.880
especially if nothing has been said.

1065
01:06:53.800 --> 01:06:56.640
Oh, I have no plans of having a boyfriend for years

1066
01:06:56.640 --> 01:06:59.240
because I know it came out in me too,

1067
01:06:59.240 --> 01:07:01.240
that in the past,

1068
01:07:01.240 --> 01:07:04.540
and it's another reason why I joined this program,

1069
01:07:04.540 --> 01:07:08.200
there would be guys that would waste years

1070
01:07:08.200 --> 01:07:10.280
with no intentions of marrying me,

1071
01:07:10.280 --> 01:07:13.880
and one of them I had to dump in the midst of all of this.

1072
01:07:13.880 --> 01:07:15.360
Um, you know, I dumped him

1073
01:07:15.360 --> 01:07:17.760
and then I ended up with this one

1074
01:07:17.760 --> 01:07:22.200
because he was definitely not my marriage minded

1075
01:07:22.200 --> 01:07:25.640
and he had no intentions of marrying me.

1076
01:07:25.640 --> 01:07:27.240
And it was just a complete waste of time.

1077
01:07:27.240 --> 01:07:29.240
Not only that, but we were unevenly yoked.

1078
01:07:29.240 --> 01:07:31.800
So my whole point is exactly,

1079
01:07:31.800 --> 01:07:33.920
I don't want to be a girlfriend forever.

1080
01:07:33.920 --> 01:07:35.800
I don't want to be a girlfriend for years.

1081
01:07:35.800 --> 01:07:38.460
I may help high school students

1082
01:07:38.460 --> 01:07:40.760
and work with them in special ed,

1083
01:07:40.760 --> 01:07:42.580
but I'm not in high school anymore.

1084
01:07:42.580 --> 01:07:44.880
So I don't want to be a girlfriend for years.

1085
01:07:44.920 --> 01:07:45.760
And one thing is for sure.

1086
01:07:45.760 --> 01:07:50.240
So I definitely, sincerely do feel that way, 100%.

1087
01:07:50.240 --> 01:07:52.360
One thing for sure, if you don't have sex,

1088
01:07:52.360 --> 01:07:54.560
you won't be a girlfriend for years.

1089
01:07:54.560 --> 01:07:56.520
You ain't got to worry about that.

1090
01:07:56.520 --> 01:07:58.000
If you're not having sex,

1091
01:07:58.000 --> 01:08:00.360
you're not giving any physical, intimate access,

1092
01:08:00.360 --> 01:08:02.720
he's going to come in real quick with a decision.

1093
01:08:02.720 --> 01:08:03.800
No need to worry.

1094
01:08:04.640 --> 01:08:05.480
And so.

1095
01:08:06.880 --> 01:08:08.600
Well, that's the best part.

1096
01:08:08.600 --> 01:08:10.240
We're keeping that off the table

1097
01:08:10.240 --> 01:08:11.880
and saying we're waiting till marriage.

1098
01:08:11.880 --> 01:08:13.720
So I'm definitely hoping,

1099
01:08:13.720 --> 01:08:15.400
I'm hoping between that

1100
01:08:15.400 --> 01:08:18.720
and the fact that he wants bio kids

1101
01:08:18.720 --> 01:08:22.479
and I'm 40 and I luckily haven't hit menopause yet,

1102
01:08:22.479 --> 01:08:24.640
but clock is ticking.

1103
01:08:24.640 --> 01:08:27.979
I'm hoping that's going to push him more than anything

1104
01:08:27.979 --> 01:08:29.960
because I could honestly say,

1105
01:08:29.960 --> 01:08:32.359
I'm okay with just my one bio kid.

1106
01:08:32.359 --> 01:08:33.399
That's all up to him.

1107
01:08:33.399 --> 01:08:36.560
If he wants to have some, I'm happy with more.

1108
01:08:36.560 --> 01:08:38.359
I'm happy with just the one.

1109
01:08:38.359 --> 01:08:39.880
So exactly.

1110
01:08:40.880 --> 01:08:42.200
Okay.

1111
01:08:42.200 --> 01:08:43.040
All right.

1112
01:08:43.040 --> 01:08:45.600
Nadine, put your hand back up.

1113
01:08:47.560 --> 01:08:49.000
Hey, Ebony.

1114
01:08:49.000 --> 01:08:50.200
Hey.

1115
01:08:50.200 --> 01:08:51.319
Is my camera working?

1116
01:08:51.319 --> 01:08:52.359
I'm not sure what's going on.

1117
01:08:52.359 --> 01:08:53.200
Oh, there it is.

1118
01:08:53.200 --> 01:08:54.160
It's been a while.

1119
01:08:55.560 --> 01:09:00.000
It's been a while, Nadine, Nadine, Nadine, Nadine.

1120
01:09:00.000 --> 01:09:01.200
Hey.

1121
01:09:01.200 --> 01:09:02.160
It's been good though.

1122
01:09:02.160 --> 01:09:03.240
How are you?

1123
01:09:03.240 --> 01:09:04.160
I am well.

1124
01:09:04.160 --> 01:09:05.160
I am well.

1125
01:09:05.160 --> 01:09:06.920
How are you, my friend?

1126
01:09:06.920 --> 01:09:08.080
I'm doing good.

1127
01:09:08.080 --> 01:09:10.000
I needed some time to just be off.

1128
01:09:10.000 --> 01:09:11.840
I had a lot of things I had to work through.

1129
01:09:11.840 --> 01:09:15.640
I think the last time we talked was that guy

1130
01:09:15.640 --> 01:09:17.240
that I met earlier this year.

1131
01:09:17.240 --> 01:09:18.520
So I had a lot of anger.

1132
01:09:18.520 --> 01:09:22.760
I had to get out, if I could be honest,

1133
01:09:22.760 --> 01:09:25.000
but you know, there's been a lot of emotions.

1134
01:09:25.000 --> 01:09:26.560
There's nothing new with any guy,

1135
01:09:26.560 --> 01:09:30.359
but I did want to just get on to say hello to you ladies.

1136
01:09:30.359 --> 01:09:32.640
I've been kind of watching replays here and there,

1137
01:09:32.640 --> 01:09:35.920
but I just, I needed a break because I was angry.

1138
01:09:36.720 --> 01:09:37.560
I bet.

1139
01:09:37.560 --> 01:09:38.880
Oh, I understand.

1140
01:09:38.880 --> 01:09:41.200
Yeah, so yeah, that's the update

1141
01:09:41.200 --> 01:09:44.880
is that I'm trying to slowly trickle back in,

1142
01:09:44.880 --> 01:09:48.120
but I think I had a few months

1143
01:09:48.120 --> 01:09:49.760
where I didn't want to really talk.

1144
01:09:49.760 --> 01:09:51.120
I just wanted to be quiet.

1145
01:09:51.120 --> 01:09:54.120
And then I had a lot of anger I needed to work through.

1146
01:09:54.120 --> 01:09:56.360
And recently I just felt like the Lord wanted me

1147
01:09:56.360 --> 01:09:57.960
to start praying again for my husband.

1148
01:09:57.960 --> 01:09:59.120
So I was like, fine.

1149
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:09.480
Yay! So, good to see you guys. Good to see you also, Nadine. Well, we're glad Nadine is

1150
01:10:09.480 --> 01:10:13.240
back in the swing of things. We know this little cutie patootie will get

1151
01:10:13.240 --> 01:10:19.440
snatched up very quickly, so we're not concerned about that. Oh, come on, Tara.

1152
01:10:19.440 --> 01:10:28.240
I'm just curious, you know, kind of your thoughts on how long this takes to, like

1153
01:10:28.240 --> 01:10:34.000
I made this post on Saturday, and of course I've had lots of people cheering

1154
01:10:34.000 --> 01:10:39.160
me on, probably about 80. Yay, this is so courageous, this is good, all these things,

1155
01:10:39.160 --> 01:10:47.840
but I haven't had any traction as far as, like, actually achieving the goal of

1156
01:10:47.840 --> 01:10:54.040
seven either video calls or dates, so or anything towards that. I know people have

1157
01:10:54.040 --> 01:11:00.920
to have time for God to speak to them or make them think of a person or someone

1158
01:11:00.920 --> 01:11:08.280
to respond, but, like, do you not move on from phase two until somehow miraculously

1159
01:11:08.280 --> 01:11:13.800
seven people show up? Because, I mean, I've been on three dates in a decade and a

1160
01:11:13.800 --> 01:11:20.440
half, and I'm not trying to avoid them, you know, and I put myself out there. Is

1161
01:11:20.440 --> 01:11:27.960
there other things that I could be doing other than the posts to encourage some

1162
01:11:27.960 --> 01:11:36.280
flow? I know. Well, you know what I thought about flow from a progressive. Y'all remember flow on that

1163
01:11:36.280 --> 01:11:47.240
progressive commercial? Flow from progressive, yes. That's a different flow. Well, one thing is you can go to

1164
01:11:47.400 --> 01:12:14.600
phase three. We just ask that you hang out in phase two for about, I don't know, is it like five weeks, five to six weeks, four to five weeks. That's totally up to you, and then you transition and go into phase three. I will tell you that you will definitely enjoy your time in phase two. We have some phase tours. It will be a very good while, and we enjoy them so much. Just wait. I'm talking about, like,

1165
01:12:15.560 --> 01:12:22.440
who thinks they've been in phase two the longest? Unmute and tell us how long you've been in phase two.

1166
01:12:26.520 --> 01:12:30.440
Susan, Roberta, Rachel, somebody. Lauren, how long have y'all been? About a year.

1167
01:12:33.000 --> 01:12:39.320
I think six or seven months. I feel like I've been in phase two the last two decades.

1168
01:12:40.280 --> 01:12:46.840
I thought you just came. Yeah, I think I've been in phase two for, like, nine months or something. Hey, Laura.

1169
01:12:49.080 --> 01:12:58.280
Nine months. I thought you just came. What do you mean, Tara? Go ahead, Susan. I'm sorry. I've just been, like, dateless. Like, I just need some advice on how to,

1170
01:13:00.680 --> 01:13:03.560
is there more than I can do than the posts that I've done? I mean,

1171
01:13:04.120 --> 01:13:10.120
are you on a dating app? Huh? Yes, I am. I am. How long you been on there?

1172
01:13:12.280 --> 01:13:19.480
It's embarrassing. Like, three years. No dates. Wait a minute. We need to update you. Wait a

1173
01:13:19.480 --> 01:13:26.200
minute. You just came out of Harvard. I've asked all the people in my circle, guys, women, they're

1174
01:13:26.200 --> 01:13:33.560
like, this is, like, a very decent profile. Like, follows all kinds of the guidelines, you know.

1175
01:13:34.440 --> 01:13:40.520
Okay. Yeah. Let me see it, but please don't count three years. So one thing that's a big hindrance

1176
01:13:40.520 --> 01:13:48.280
to your perspective is understanding partnership. You've gotten into a new program. You just went

1177
01:13:48.280 --> 01:13:54.520
through the hard work. This is a new phase of your walk with God. The idea that we've been

1178
01:13:54.520 --> 01:13:59.160
waiting on God for 20 years or all these years and you don't have a strategy to show me you

1179
01:13:59.160 --> 01:14:04.600
really haven't been partnering with him. Yeah. Because if you're partnering with somebody,

1180
01:14:04.600 --> 01:14:10.840
if you've been, you're strategizing. And so it is hard on you when you consider, I've been doing

1181
01:14:10.840 --> 01:14:15.000
this for three years. Well, you're going to be a different woman on the dating app now.

1182
01:14:15.000 --> 01:14:18.920
When you start swiping through men, you're going to be looking for a decent man because you need a

1183
01:14:18.920 --> 01:14:24.120
date. So you're not going to be looking for a man who is A, B, C, D because that's not your husband.

1184
01:14:24.760 --> 01:14:31.000
You're dating for discovery in this phase. So that means you're going to give me an opportunity to

1185
01:14:31.000 --> 01:14:37.000
show up. Right. And so maybe when you're on the dating apps, you're going to want him at least

1186
01:14:37.000 --> 01:14:42.760
to be a believer. Then you're going to start looking at profiles with me and they have like

1187
01:14:42.760 --> 01:14:48.200
more safe. This is how I do it. Like if he's a teacher or this safe type, there's a look that

1188
01:14:48.200 --> 01:14:54.360
some men have. I go for the dad bod. They're pretty safe. You know, stuff like that. Because

1189
01:14:54.360 --> 01:14:59.560
you want to date, you want to date and you want to date in a safe way. So you're looking for a

1190
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:05.220
date, right? You're looking to get momentum. And so let's just take away this three year

1191
01:15:05.220 --> 01:15:13.560
thing. Let's look at what you have, post your profile, post your profile of what you say.

1192
01:15:13.560 --> 01:15:19.520
I want to see it. Let Carla see it. It doesn't mean something wrong with it, but this is

1193
01:15:19.520 --> 01:15:23.440
a fresh start. And what dating app are you on?

1194
01:15:23.440 --> 01:15:28.760
Actually it's been, I think two, but still that's a long time. Or I guess this is my

1195
01:15:28.760 --> 01:15:33.880
second year. I'm actually maybe less than that. Maybe even a year and a half, but that's

1196
01:15:33.880 --> 01:15:41.680
one of them. Holy. I was on match for a while. I didn't like match. I feel like a lot of

1197
01:15:41.680 --> 01:15:52.080
the times I get like really old men who reach out like people, I mean, and nobody get offended.

1198
01:15:52.080 --> 01:15:59.240
I'm just saying for me, it's like somebody 20 years older than myself, I'm not, I'm almost

1199
01:15:59.240 --> 01:16:05.600
50. So I don't, I would like to marry someone closer in my age range just because I feel

1200
01:16:05.600 --> 01:16:13.080
like I'm older. And I, but again, I have a lot of more, I have youth in me. And so I

1201
01:16:13.080 --> 01:16:17.280
don't want to necessarily shoot for someone 20 years older than I am, but that's a lot

1202
01:16:17.280 --> 01:16:23.600
of the guys that reach out. And I, I don't know, maybe I'm believing a lie, but I feel

1203
01:16:23.600 --> 01:16:28.320
like a lot of times the guys that my age are looking for women in their thirties, to be

1204
01:16:28.320 --> 01:16:30.880
honest. Oh, it's very possible that they're looking

1205
01:16:30.880 --> 01:16:35.280
for younger women. That's why the older men are looking for you. So you're not wrong in

1206
01:16:35.280 --> 01:16:41.640
what you're saying, but that's okay. Just know that these men see a fine looking woman

1207
01:16:41.640 --> 01:16:45.920
and they trying to give them a fine looking young thing. And so when you see it like that,

1208
01:16:45.920 --> 01:16:50.240
change your mind about the men that talking to you. So the same way them 50-year-old look

1209
01:16:50.240 --> 01:16:54.080
at them 30-year-old, like I want that little young thing. Them 60-year-old, 70-year-old

1210
01:16:54.080 --> 01:16:58.480
saying, I want me that little young thing right there. And so you got to give yourself

1211
01:16:58.480 --> 01:17:02.720
perspective. And when you see them, like you said, I know they want my pretty little young

1212
01:17:02.720 --> 01:17:06.960
thing looking self, but they ain't going to be able to get me. Okay. So that's what I say

1213
01:17:06.960 --> 01:17:12.640
when they, when they pick me, I said, I know they like what they see. So this is what you

1214
01:17:12.640 --> 01:17:17.200
do is you just don't like them back. It's okay. You don't have to date somebody 20 years

1215
01:17:17.200 --> 01:17:22.160
older than yourself. So if you're 50, you just left 49. So you're basically in your forties.

1216
01:17:22.720 --> 01:17:32.400
So anyway, I'm about to be 50. I'm 49 and older. I like Facebook dating. Let's try a new face.

1217
01:17:32.400 --> 01:17:36.960
Let's try a new dating app. Preferably one you don't have to pay for wholly. It doesn't have

1218
01:17:36.960 --> 01:17:42.960
a lot of, depending on where you are, they don't have a lot of a pool. Um, and so if you have a

1219
01:17:42.960 --> 01:17:48.560
Facebook, uh, thing, try Facebook dating. Cause when you first get on the app, you get a lot of

1220
01:17:48.560 --> 01:17:53.760
hits like they speak like, so it's the algorithm. So they pull you through a whole lot. And so let's

1221
01:17:53.760 --> 01:17:59.680
look at what you have. Let's get you on Facebook dating. Let's, uh, close out the other ones.

1222
01:17:59.680 --> 01:18:04.320
If you're paying for them. And if you want to come back to them, come back so they can hit you fresh

1223
01:18:05.200 --> 01:18:10.320
on the flow. But so you've been there forever. You're just paying and they're not keeping you

1224
01:18:10.320 --> 01:18:17.440
flowing through really well. Yeah. Go to Facebook dating, get some buildup there. And then if you

1225
01:18:17.440 --> 01:18:23.680
want to go back to one of the other ones, go back fresh. Oh, so it changes the algorithm. Yeah.

1226
01:18:23.680 --> 01:18:27.360
Because you've been around so long, they're not spinning you through. And I've never had

1227
01:18:28.080 --> 01:18:31.120
hold. It's just, it's not, you know, where are you?

1228
01:18:32.880 --> 01:18:38.240
Texas. What part of Texas? Austin, Texas. Come on. You up the street from me.

1229
01:18:43.280 --> 01:18:48.480
We meet me in the wild around here, honey. I'm about to go hold up a poster board at like

1230
01:18:48.480 --> 01:18:55.360
whole foods or something. That's what I'm ready to mingle. It'd be family man and whole food.

1231
01:18:55.360 --> 01:18:57.440
Jason, you got to go to HBF eight o'clock.

1232
01:19:02.960 --> 01:19:07.120
After eight, I'm scared. Single man. Well, you don't want a man.

1233
01:19:07.840 --> 01:19:13.440
Oh, after eight, I get it now. Oh, single men are going to grab them something to put in the

1234
01:19:13.440 --> 01:19:18.400
microwave or put it. Yeah. Go stand in that, that meal section where they make those pre

1235
01:19:18.400 --> 01:19:22.400
pre-packaged meals. Yeah. And say, I got a meal. If you want some

1236
01:19:25.520 --> 01:19:28.480
I'll just wait. Well, there's some ideas.

1237
01:19:30.640 --> 01:19:37.360
In a Home Depot, Home Depot. So what part of Austin do you live in? I live closer to downtown.

1238
01:19:38.240 --> 01:19:45.440
Yeah. So there are a lot of ladies who live here in Austin, live in Temple. And so post your

1239
01:19:45.440 --> 01:19:51.280
information in the app so that I can have it. Another young lady just moved actually down. I

1240
01:19:51.280 --> 01:19:56.880
helped her move. She's in LYS. I helped her move down to Austin. So she's kind of on the edges of

1241
01:19:56.880 --> 01:19:59.840
downtown. Okay. So she's always.

1242
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:05.520
looking to hang out see this guy dfw we got people get that i've been telling them we're going to come

1243
01:20:05.520 --> 01:20:11.680
at all meet up so go to step in there and we're going to all get together and eloise has been

1244
01:20:11.680 --> 01:20:16.160
trying to get us to come up there to dallas forever to go dancing i go to dallas once a

1245
01:20:16.160 --> 01:20:24.000
month eloise come on see terry i've been trying to get y'all it's on tuesday nights but then i've

1246
01:20:24.000 --> 01:20:31.280
started um going dancing other parts of the week so it's called oh shoot uh

1247
01:20:33.680 --> 01:20:42.080
grace in motion is the name of the um facebook group it's totally free and so they say hey

1248
01:20:42.080 --> 01:20:48.000
we're going here on this night or whatever and it's a lot of fun it's a lot of fun the guys that

1249
01:20:48.000 --> 01:20:55.040
and the girl that uh teach it you know they're just amazing and um just really sweet people

1250
01:20:55.680 --> 01:21:01.600
and one of those things where they go out at like nine o'clock at night do what on a thursday

1251
01:21:04.800 --> 01:21:09.840
the dance lessons are going on right now they're usually like 6 30 to 8 or something

1252
01:21:10.800 --> 01:21:18.000
if some people want to go after that someplace to practice you know at a real live place you

1253
01:21:18.000 --> 01:21:24.560
know they'll do that but they're also just going you know we're going to this restaurant that has

1254
01:21:24.560 --> 01:21:32.720
dancing or whatever and they'll post it on the grace in motion so you know the ones that i know

1255
01:21:32.720 --> 01:21:38.640
about they don't have a you know you just for whatever you get to drink or eat or whatever

1256
01:21:38.640 --> 01:21:47.600
that's the only cost but um and then um there's a group that's changed names it's called resilient

1257
01:21:48.480 --> 01:21:56.480
john one uh chapter one verse five i don't know what that verse says but anyway that the gal

1258
01:21:56.480 --> 01:22:03.520
started it um originally several years ago and she sort of changed her focus a little bit

1259
01:22:04.160 --> 01:22:12.080
but um but she's having a praise and worship thing at her house she found her her new husband

1260
01:22:12.080 --> 01:22:19.920
her first husband passed away was sick for years and so anyway so she her name is genie and she

1261
01:22:19.920 --> 01:22:28.640
met eric uh in the group uh several years ago and so they're having a praise and worship thing at

1262
01:22:28.640 --> 01:22:35.600
their house on saturday from four to seven and then they're having a labor day thing so you just

1263
01:22:35.600 --> 01:22:44.560
need to look at resilient uh john chapter one verse five and you know like you know sign up for

1264
01:22:45.120 --> 01:22:53.920
what you're bringing or whatever chips or whatever and um and so uh and then the other group is uh

1265
01:22:53.920 --> 01:23:03.600
singles and fellowship but that group tends to be further out like plano prosper way out there

1266
01:23:03.600 --> 01:23:10.400
from where i am but i've been to that's where i met the guy that i had a date with uh the weekend

1267
01:23:10.400 --> 01:23:18.960
of father's day and um it was a dinner dance and it was so fun so fun and it was at a location closer

1268
01:23:19.680 --> 01:23:27.920
uh than plano it was more like carolton area and so but it was so fun so fun

1269
01:23:29.280 --> 01:23:33.840
they did a lot of dancing they gave get had giveaways they did all this good stuff

1270
01:23:34.560 --> 01:23:41.520
so um you know you just pick and choose that's great ideas more than others you know so

1271
01:23:42.080 --> 01:23:50.080
anyway and she's got almost a thousand dina who started the uh singles in motion i mean yeah and

1272
01:23:50.080 --> 01:23:56.560
no singles in fellowship um she didn't start it that long ago and already has a thousand people

1273
01:23:56.560 --> 01:24:05.120
it's on a face on facebook free but not the events aren't free um but the membership is so

1274
01:24:05.840 --> 01:24:15.840
just lovely people lovely people so well thank you miss eloise we are going to uh laura i want

1275
01:24:15.840 --> 01:24:20.880
to take your question we're going to uh gather some ladies from austin don't forget to post

1276
01:24:20.880 --> 01:24:26.160
your stuff now tara we gather some ladies from austin and tempe we're gonna all ride the dfw

1277
01:24:26.800 --> 01:24:33.520
and uh we're gonna we're gonna have a good time come on laura anybody who's in austin post your

1278
01:24:33.520 --> 01:24:40.560
information and hayley don't forget to post yours go ahead laura okay um so i've been doing

1279
01:24:40.560 --> 01:24:45.600
um one-on-one coaching with ebony and i've been dating um this guy wade since like mid-april

1280
01:24:46.160 --> 01:24:55.120
um and so um i had the conversation with him last night about um like his views on church or

1281
01:24:55.120 --> 01:24:59.840
whatever and um i'm not sure how i feel about his response um

1282
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:10.480
So I took your advice and I asked him how you said it in the email or whatever to what

1283
01:25:10.480 --> 01:25:17.040
his thoughts are on going to church.

1284
01:25:17.040 --> 01:25:24.680
He explained to me how he reads his Bible every morning but he doesn't really see that

1285
01:25:24.680 --> 01:25:28.440
going to physical worship is necessary.

1286
01:25:28.440 --> 01:25:36.920
And so I don't know, because I said to him, I wasn't trying to be judgmental or anything.

1287
01:25:36.920 --> 01:25:48.240
I just said that going to worship is like you get the lesson and then he would also

1288
01:25:48.240 --> 01:25:51.080
be there to encourage other people.

1289
01:25:51.080 --> 01:26:04.760
He did tell me that he could have said what I wanted to hear or whatever, that he goes

1290
01:26:04.760 --> 01:26:05.760
to church.

1291
01:26:05.760 --> 01:26:10.680
But I mean, I already knew that he doesn't go to church frequently or whatever.

1292
01:26:10.680 --> 01:26:13.960
So I mean, I did appreciate that he was honest with me or whatever.

1293
01:26:13.960 --> 01:26:26.800
But I don't know, it just doesn't really seem that he's really that committed.

1294
01:26:26.800 --> 01:26:39.640
I don't know, because I know that I have other friends that don't go to church either.

1295
01:26:39.640 --> 01:26:43.840
They just read their Bible on their own or whatever.

1296
01:26:43.840 --> 01:26:51.040
But I don't really see spiritual growth in them when they just stay home and just do

1297
01:26:51.040 --> 01:26:52.040
their own thing.

1298
01:26:52.040 --> 01:26:53.040
Yeah.

1299
01:26:53.040 --> 01:26:54.040
Right.

1300
01:26:54.040 --> 01:27:03.520
And so that's one of your non-negotiables, is that right?

1301
01:27:03.520 --> 01:27:04.520
Yeah.

1302
01:27:04.520 --> 01:27:12.520
I mean, because I mean, I explained I'm very involved with my church, that we have Sunday

1303
01:27:12.520 --> 01:27:13.520
morning worship.

1304
01:27:13.520 --> 01:27:14.520
We have Sunday evening worship.

1305
01:27:14.520 --> 01:27:15.520
We have like midweek Bible class.

1306
01:27:15.520 --> 01:27:17.920
And I'm pretty much there whenever the doors are open.

1307
01:27:17.920 --> 01:27:25.600
And I mean, I did say that I wouldn't expect someone that I ended up marrying to be there

1308
01:27:25.600 --> 01:27:34.560
like 100% of the time, but yeah, like virtually never going, yeah, it doesn't really work

1309
01:27:34.560 --> 01:27:35.560
for me.

1310
01:27:35.560 --> 01:27:36.560
Right.

1311
01:27:36.560 --> 01:27:41.560
And so when you're ready to have that conversation, that's just what that looks like.

1312
01:27:41.600 --> 01:27:42.600
Okay.

1313
01:27:43.600 --> 01:27:50.600
And so you can continue to enjoy the process with him and there's options.

1314
01:27:50.600 --> 01:27:55.120
You can continue to enjoy getting to know him, probably come out of exclusivity and

1315
01:27:55.120 --> 01:27:56.720
date other people.

1316
01:27:56.720 --> 01:28:01.480
You can share with him that that's a non-negotiable for you, that you don't marry a man who don't

1317
01:28:01.480 --> 01:28:08.520
have a commitment to assembling themselves together with the body of believers.

1318
01:28:08.520 --> 01:28:09.520
That's what you are.

1319
01:28:09.520 --> 01:28:10.520
That's what that is.

1320
01:28:10.520 --> 01:28:11.520
And that's just what it is.

1321
01:28:11.520 --> 01:28:12.520
Yeah.

1322
01:28:12.520 --> 01:28:20.960
I mean, he tried to justify it by saying like his dad and his grandfather are like kind

1323
01:28:20.960 --> 01:28:21.960
of the same way.

1324
01:28:21.960 --> 01:28:26.360
But I mean, that didn't really like make it any better in my book.

1325
01:28:26.360 --> 01:28:27.360
So yeah.

1326
01:28:27.360 --> 01:28:30.000
Well, it's a non-negotiable.

1327
01:28:30.000 --> 01:28:33.320
So non-negotiable doesn't have to be over explained.

1328
01:28:33.320 --> 01:28:34.880
It's nothing he can say to make it better.

1329
01:28:34.880 --> 01:28:35.880
It's a non-negotiable.

1330
01:28:35.880 --> 01:28:42.200
It's based on a principle from the Bible and the kingdom that you're from.

1331
01:28:42.200 --> 01:28:47.680
And so what happens is now you understand where he stands on that.

1332
01:28:47.680 --> 01:28:48.680
That was a concern.

1333
01:28:48.680 --> 01:28:53.960
You're not six months down the road and he tells you this, but it is right now.

1334
01:28:53.960 --> 01:28:58.800
So then you just, you say, oh wow, this is a non-negotiable for me.

1335
01:28:58.800 --> 01:29:04.480
I don't want to continue to develop emotional, unnecessary or undue emotional things.

1336
01:29:04.480 --> 01:29:09.680
So I think it's best now that we come out of exclusivity and we can still date and get

1337
01:29:09.680 --> 01:29:10.680
to know each other.

1338
01:29:10.680 --> 01:29:14.640
If you want to do that part, and then you can start dating other people.

1339
01:29:14.640 --> 01:29:18.920
If you want, Laura, you can sit on it for a while just because you're sitting doesn't

1340
01:29:18.920 --> 01:29:20.920
mean that you're going along with it.

1341
01:29:20.920 --> 01:29:25.200
You can still voice that it's a non-negotiable and you don't see it going into further because

1342
01:29:25.200 --> 01:29:26.560
that's where you are.

1343
01:29:26.560 --> 01:29:32.480
You can take your time with that part, grieve releasing that, however you want to do it.

1344
01:29:32.480 --> 01:29:37.320
But what I don't want you to do is feel like that you have to compromise or change something.

1345
01:29:37.320 --> 01:29:40.040
A non-negotiable is a non-negotiable.

1346
01:29:40.040 --> 01:29:42.040
That's just the end of it.

1347
01:29:42.040 --> 01:29:46.360
Well, yeah, that's why I wanted your input on that.

1348
01:29:46.360 --> 01:29:47.360
Yeah.

1349
01:29:47.360 --> 01:29:54.880
Because yeah, that is, yeah, like I hadn't like really considered it before, but yeah,

1350
01:29:54.880 --> 01:30:00.040
for me it is a non-negotiable because I want us to like to support each other.

1351
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:09.920
or in our walk and being that that is how I experience worship is being in attendance

1352
01:30:09.920 --> 01:30:18.560
on a regular basis, that to me it would just be like, I just wouldn't feel fully supported

1353
01:30:18.560 --> 01:30:21.720
if he wasn't on the same page.

1354
01:30:21.720 --> 01:30:27.600
Well, him going to church is not about supporting you.

1355
01:30:27.600 --> 01:30:31.480
That's the first thing that needs to be clear.

1356
01:30:31.480 --> 01:30:37.640
Him going to church, having a relationship with Christ is a non-negotiable in your life

1357
01:30:37.640 --> 01:30:43.800
because you don't want to be unequally yoked and where he is, you're unequally yoked and

1358
01:30:43.800 --> 01:30:48.960
you're not going to partner and come and covenant with a believer who's unequally yoked from

1359
01:30:48.960 --> 01:30:49.960
you.

1360
01:30:49.960 --> 01:30:54.880
And so a man's relationship with the Lord is not in support of you.

1361
01:30:54.880 --> 01:30:59.680
A man relationship to the body of Christ is not in support of you.

1362
01:30:59.680 --> 01:31:05.000
It is for a healthy growing believer to be discipled.

1363
01:31:05.000 --> 01:31:10.560
We are disciple and we go out and we make disciples.

1364
01:31:10.560 --> 01:31:14.720
We were never called to a belief system where we read our Bibles and stay at home.

1365
01:31:14.720 --> 01:31:16.520
That's not how it works.

1366
01:31:16.520 --> 01:31:19.800
He told us to go out and make disciples.

1367
01:31:19.800 --> 01:31:25.080
You can't make disciples if you don't even gather yourselves together with the body,

1368
01:31:25.080 --> 01:31:28.120
that you're not even being taught the word.

1369
01:31:28.120 --> 01:31:35.360
He's given the body gifts, evangelists, prophets, teachers, pastors, and apostles.

1370
01:31:35.360 --> 01:31:40.800
They are given as gifts to the body according to Paul for the perfecting of the body of

1371
01:31:40.800 --> 01:31:41.800
Christ.

1372
01:31:41.800 --> 01:31:44.200
That means they teach us in the teacher.

1373
01:31:44.200 --> 01:31:47.200
So this is not about supporting you.

1374
01:31:47.400 --> 01:31:53.200
If you married a man just because he supports you and go to church, then that's going to

1375
01:31:53.200 --> 01:31:59.520
be pretty pitiful of a marriage, honestly, because he has no conviction of his own.

1376
01:31:59.520 --> 01:32:04.120
And then there's a bitterness and a resentment is going to come up toward you because they're

1377
01:32:04.120 --> 01:32:06.560
doing everything to please you.

1378
01:32:06.560 --> 01:32:11.000
And then the dynamics of the relationship is going to change right before your eyes because

1379
01:32:11.000 --> 01:32:13.000
they're like doing everything for you.

1380
01:32:13.000 --> 01:32:17.920
Listen, a person's faith and belief system is a thing that is within them, and it has

1381
01:32:17.920 --> 01:32:20.840
to be a conviction that's deep within.

1382
01:32:20.840 --> 01:32:26.640
And so you have a non-negotiable based on you understanding, you may not know it yet,

1383
01:32:26.640 --> 01:32:33.240
but you understand the role of a belief system in a person's life and what that produces

1384
01:32:33.240 --> 01:32:34.640
all around them.

1385
01:32:34.640 --> 01:32:41.040
And so very much why most of his identity is probably tied to work.

1386
01:32:41.040 --> 01:32:44.320
He's not operating in purpose.

1387
01:32:44.320 --> 01:32:47.080
You don't see him having purpose in that way.

1388
01:32:47.080 --> 01:32:48.760
Does that make sense, Laura?

1389
01:32:48.760 --> 01:32:57.840
Well, yeah, because I did kind of like challenge what he was saying by saying how I felt that

1390
01:32:57.840 --> 01:33:02.560
he was trying to like do everything like on his own.

1391
01:33:02.560 --> 01:33:08.320
Because like I even asked him, I'm like, well, are you praying for like the Lord to help

1392
01:33:08.320 --> 01:33:09.800
you in your business?

1393
01:33:09.800 --> 01:33:15.560
And yeah, he said that he hadn't really been doing that.

1394
01:33:15.560 --> 01:33:16.560
So yeah.

1395
01:33:16.560 --> 01:33:25.880
Now, I can't say that in relationship with you, he won't come draw to a value system

1396
01:33:25.880 --> 01:33:33.480
of this way or whatever, or being a part of some sort of community that helps him grow

1397
01:33:33.480 --> 01:33:34.480
in his faith.

1398
01:33:35.480 --> 01:33:40.400
But as for right now, as things stand, this is a non-negotiable for you.

1399
01:33:40.400 --> 01:33:45.520
And so there's nothing wrong with sharing that with him, that this is a non-negotiable

1400
01:33:45.520 --> 01:33:46.760
for you.

1401
01:33:46.760 --> 01:33:52.000
But I want us to be clear on that, ladies, that a man in a relationship with Christ is

1402
01:33:52.000 --> 01:33:54.320
not in support of us or to do what we want.

1403
01:33:54.320 --> 01:33:57.040
It has to be something that's within himself.

1404
01:33:57.040 --> 01:34:01.240
And Laura, that's why you're not satisfied if he just went for you.

1405
01:34:01.240 --> 01:34:05.640
You know he has to have this within his heart because it's only a matter of time when he

1406
01:34:05.640 --> 01:34:08.040
says, I'm tired of doing it and I'm not doing it anymore.

1407
01:34:13.240 --> 01:34:16.240
So yeah.

1408
01:34:16.240 --> 01:34:17.240
Anything else, Laura?

1409
01:34:21.240 --> 01:34:22.240
No?

1410
01:34:22.240 --> 01:34:24.240
If you are saying something, you're on mute.

1411
01:34:26.240 --> 01:34:27.240
Okay.

1412
01:34:27.240 --> 01:34:28.240
Nothing else?

1413
01:34:29.240 --> 01:34:30.240
Okay.

1414
01:34:30.240 --> 01:34:33.240
I'm so glad that you had that conversation with him.

1415
01:34:33.240 --> 01:34:35.240
That was very brave of you, Laura.

1416
01:34:35.240 --> 01:34:37.240
Very, very brave of you.

1417
01:34:37.240 --> 01:34:41.240
Because you already had a hunch that that probably is what it was.

1418
01:34:41.240 --> 01:34:46.240
And sometimes we're faced with letting go of this thing that we're enjoying.

1419
01:34:46.240 --> 01:34:49.240
Because when it comes to...

1420
01:34:49.240 --> 01:34:52.240
I've told somebody I was dating before.

1421
01:34:53.240 --> 01:34:55.240
I said, if you ever cross me...

1422
01:34:57.240 --> 01:34:58.240
I tell all of them.

1423
01:34:58.240 --> 01:34:59.240
If you ever cross me...

1424
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:07.880
me to try to entice me to have sex with you it will be like a person with a

1425
01:35:07.880 --> 01:35:12.880
sword in her hand off with your head you will go and I will leave you without a

1426
01:35:12.880 --> 01:35:17.640
thought and will cry on my way while my back is turned to you and that is the

1427
01:35:17.640 --> 01:35:22.560
truth because if you want to entice me to have sex with you you're my enemy and

1428
01:35:22.560 --> 01:35:27.000
you you don't love me you don't even like me you actually hate me as much as

1429
01:35:27.000 --> 01:35:33.920
you hate yourself therefore I must part ways with you because you've come to

1430
01:35:33.920 --> 01:35:39.840
destroy me you did not come to help me you've come to hurt me if I told you

1431
01:35:39.840 --> 01:35:46.680
this is my boundary and you entice me enticing a person is something different

1432
01:35:46.680 --> 01:35:52.440
and so there are some things that are non-negotiable for me you may have never

1433
01:35:52.440 --> 01:35:55.880
practiced self-discipline but when you get to the place that you want to try

1434
01:35:55.880 --> 01:36:00.240
to entice me to have sex with you then I know that you have no good for me in

1435
01:36:00.240 --> 01:36:07.760
your heart you're against me so enticing is a different story it's like a setup

1436
01:36:07.760 --> 01:36:21.200
does that make sense right y'all look at me like whoa but it is like oh god

1437
01:36:21.200 --> 01:36:32.360
forbid if I ain't having a strong date we all going down the creek anyway

1438
01:36:32.360 --> 01:36:36.520
they're non-negotiable anyway ladies you have been absolutely amazing I hope that

1439
01:36:36.520 --> 01:36:40.960
you rest well I look forward for the joy that awaits you Rachel was so proud of

1440
01:36:40.960 --> 01:36:44.880
you if you guys would just give her a hand she set up her profile she's on the

1441
01:36:44.880 --> 01:36:49.920
dating app she found time she didn't know she had and she is on the ball so

1442
01:36:49.920 --> 01:36:54.680
way to go ladies you guys are doing great things I'm excited for you and

1443
01:36:54.680 --> 01:37:01.840
yeah all is well you it's gonna be great and keep posting in the app keep looking

1444
01:37:01.840 --> 01:37:06.240
for God this week because he's looking for you and keep casting your cares

1445
01:37:06.240 --> 01:37:10.880
upon him because he cares for you don't take the escalator this week by

1446
01:37:10.880 --> 01:37:16.080
stairs who wants you to ride so ask the Lord what areas are you striving and not

1447
01:37:16.080 --> 01:37:19.560
only look for the areas you're striving but I want you to also identify the

1448
01:37:19.560 --> 01:37:23.000
areas that you're partnering because there are areas that you are partnering

1449
01:37:23.000 --> 01:37:27.000
with the Lord and this is one of them and don't you ever discount it just

1450
01:37:27.000 --> 01:37:30.600
because you're frustrated doesn't mean you're not partnering frustration can

1451
01:37:30.600 --> 01:37:36.400
mean signs of striving and partnership all right have a good night you're

1452
01:37:36.400 --> 01:37:40.320
welcome see you next week