WEBVTT

1
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:10.000
Hey, surprise, here I am.

2
00:00:10.000 --> 00:00:12.000
Hello, everyone.

3
00:00:12.000 --> 00:00:13.000
Hello, hello.

4
00:00:13.000 --> 00:00:17.000
For as many of you that can come on screen, would love to see you.

5
00:00:17.000 --> 00:00:20.000
And if you don't remember who I am, I'm Bethany Cooper.

6
00:00:20.000 --> 00:00:22.000
I'm one of the master heart work coaches here in the community.

7
00:00:22.000 --> 00:00:24.000
Normally I'm over in heart works.

8
00:00:24.000 --> 00:00:27.000
That's where you would have seen me before.

9
00:00:27.000 --> 00:00:28.000
But Carla's not feeling well today.

10
00:00:28.000 --> 00:00:32.000
So I'm pinch hitting and I'm super excited to be here.

11
00:00:32.000 --> 00:00:34.000
And we're going to have just a really good time today.

12
00:00:34.000 --> 00:00:36.000
I'm packing some things.

13
00:00:36.000 --> 00:00:41.000
We're going to tie today's session into what Jackie also released on Saturday.

14
00:00:41.000 --> 00:00:47.000
If y'all haven't listened to Supernatural Saturday yet, I hope that you do.

15
00:00:47.000 --> 00:00:50.000
Talking a lot about, you know, what are we trusting the shepherd with?

16
00:00:50.000 --> 00:00:53.000
So many times we think we're trusting the Lord.

17
00:00:53.000 --> 00:00:57.000
But then when we really get to the root of the matter, a lot of times,

18
00:00:57.000 --> 00:01:00.000
hey, maybe we're actually not trusting him.

19
00:01:00.000 --> 00:01:04.000
Maybe we're still trying to write the story, define the timeline,

20
00:01:04.000 --> 00:01:06.000
and all of those things.

21
00:01:06.000 --> 00:01:09.000
And so we're going to lean into this a little bit today.

22
00:01:09.000 --> 00:01:14.000
And I've been praying about, like, as soon as Carla messaged me this morning,

23
00:01:14.000 --> 00:01:16.000
interestingly enough, on my heart work session last night,

24
00:01:16.000 --> 00:01:21.000
I was talking to them about practicing soft and the divine feminine a little bit.

25
00:01:21.000 --> 00:01:23.000
And so that was just really in my spirit.

26
00:01:23.000 --> 00:01:27.000
I'm not sure when y'all heard it last, but we're going to talk about that a little more today.

27
00:01:27.000 --> 00:01:29.000
And so let me pray for us.

28
00:01:29.000 --> 00:01:33.000
And we're going to jump right in because I have a lot for us to get through.

29
00:01:33.000 --> 00:01:35.000
Father, thank you so much for this day.

30
00:01:35.000 --> 00:01:38.000
God, I thank you for every one of these ladies where they're at

31
00:01:38.000 --> 00:01:40.000
and their heart healing process and their dating process.

32
00:01:40.000 --> 00:01:44.000
Maybe some of them are still waiting to decide when to start dating.

33
00:01:44.000 --> 00:01:48.000
God, I thank you that you're there right in the middle of all of it.

34
00:01:48.000 --> 00:01:51.000
God, I pray that you would give them God confidence more than ever today.

35
00:01:51.000 --> 00:01:53.000
God, that you continue to heal them from the inside out,

36
00:01:53.000 --> 00:01:56.000
that you would reveal areas that are still needed for healing,

37
00:01:56.000 --> 00:01:58.000
things that are in darkness.

38
00:01:58.000 --> 00:02:01.000
Let them come to the light where there's hurts, habits, and hang-ups,

39
00:02:01.000 --> 00:02:05.000
things that are causing them to remain stuck,

40
00:02:05.000 --> 00:02:09.000
and sometimes not even give themselves permission to move forward.

41
00:02:09.000 --> 00:02:12.000
God, we let go of perfection.

42
00:02:12.000 --> 00:02:16.000
Yeah, Lord, we let go of perfectionism towards ourselves,

43
00:02:16.000 --> 00:02:19.000
and the expectations that we put on other people because of it.

44
00:02:19.000 --> 00:02:23.000
Yes, Lord, we thank you that you'll help us to enter your rest.

45
00:02:23.000 --> 00:02:26.000
God, to receive the full measure of your grace.

46
00:02:26.000 --> 00:02:30.000
God, not just for ourselves but to extend it to other people.

47
00:02:30.000 --> 00:02:33.000
We thank you for the reminder that you are with us.

48
00:02:33.000 --> 00:02:36.000
God, and that dating can be fun even when it's hard.

49
00:02:36.000 --> 00:02:38.000
Sometimes it's just fun.

50
00:02:38.000 --> 00:02:40.000
And God, I thank you that you'll help us to just embrace

51
00:02:40.000 --> 00:02:42.000
what we're learning every step of the way.

52
00:02:42.000 --> 00:02:44.000
Holy Spirit, thanks for being here.

53
00:02:44.000 --> 00:02:48.000
I just ask you to have your way in every part of our time together today.

54
00:02:48.000 --> 00:02:50.000
In Jesus' name, amen.

55
00:02:50.000 --> 00:02:51.000
So welcome.

56
00:02:51.000 --> 00:02:56.000
If you just jumped on, I'm here today doing your 1 o'clock Love Story Accelerator.

57
00:02:56.000 --> 00:02:59.000
If you guys didn't remember, you also have a special session tonight,

58
00:02:59.000 --> 00:03:01.000
sneak peek into Phase 3.

59
00:03:01.000 --> 00:03:03.000
So Ebony's not going to be coaching at 8 p.m.

60
00:03:03.000 --> 00:03:05.000
I hope you all, even if you can't make it, that you catch the replay.

61
00:03:05.000 --> 00:03:08.000
It's going to be so good.

62
00:03:08.000 --> 00:03:11.000
Elizabeth Erickson is one of our one-on-one coaches,

63
00:03:11.000 --> 00:03:14.000
and she has a ton of training in psychology and limerence

64
00:03:14.000 --> 00:03:20.000
and really helping people recognize anxious attachment

65
00:03:20.000 --> 00:03:24.000
and how that can cause us to get stuck in what's called a limerence loop.

66
00:03:24.000 --> 00:03:27.000
And so even if you don't think you have anxious attachment,

67
00:03:27.000 --> 00:03:29.000
highly recommend you listening to that session

68
00:03:29.000 --> 00:03:32.000
because I think all of you are going to learn something.

69
00:03:32.000 --> 00:03:34.000
And so that is at 8 o'clock Eastern Time tonight.

70
00:03:34.000 --> 00:03:36.000
The link is already in your events calendar.

71
00:03:36.000 --> 00:03:39.000
So all you have to do is click the link, just like you normally would,

72
00:03:39.000 --> 00:03:40.000
to join the heart work.

73
00:03:40.000 --> 00:03:43.000
And that's going to take you right into the group with the Phase 3 ladies.

74
00:03:43.000 --> 00:03:46.000
And just so you know, that is open to men as well.

75
00:03:46.000 --> 00:03:48.000
So you might see some of the guys on there.

76
00:03:48.000 --> 00:03:50.000
I'm not sure how many guys will come.

77
00:03:50.000 --> 00:03:53.000
Guys don't tend to struggle with this as much as women do.

78
00:03:53.000 --> 00:03:57.000
Not saying they never do, but women tend to struggle with the limerence,

79
00:03:57.000 --> 00:04:00.000
like the fantasy kind of thinking and making things bigger

80
00:04:00.000 --> 00:04:04.000
and kind of getting stuck in those loops and not being able to get out of them.

81
00:04:04.000 --> 00:04:06.000
But again, the men are invited, so we'll see.

82
00:04:06.000 --> 00:04:08.000
I'm not sure who will be there.

83
00:04:08.000 --> 00:04:11.000
But that is open on your calendar tonight.

84
00:04:11.000 --> 00:04:15.000
So again, if you can't be there live, catch the replay,

85
00:04:15.000 --> 00:04:17.000
and I hope it'll be a blessing to you.

86
00:04:17.000 --> 00:04:22.000
So today I titled our session Armed and At Rest

87
00:04:22.000 --> 00:04:26.000
because, again, I'm tying it into what Jackie shared with you all on Supernatural Saturday.

88
00:04:26.000 --> 00:04:32.000
But I also want to partner with walking in the divine feminine, walking in the soft.

89
00:04:32.000 --> 00:04:36.000
What does it look like to practice softness?

90
00:04:36.000 --> 00:04:44.000
And so Jackie talked a lot about 5787 is the year that we're moving from striving into rest.

91
00:04:45.000 --> 00:04:52.000
So moving from scarcity and hard-heartedness toward men are striving postures.

92
00:04:52.000 --> 00:04:56.000
So I want you to kind of just start to think about your heart towards men.

93
00:04:56.000 --> 00:04:59.000
As I start to kind of open us up today.

94
00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:11.000
Where is your heart at regarding men, and where is your heart at regarding whether or not God has a spirit mate for you?

95
00:05:11.000 --> 00:05:15.000
So I want that to sit in for a second.

96
00:05:15.000 --> 00:05:23.000
Just being fully honest with yourself, I want you guys, you know, again, always hopefully have pen and paper or a phone where you can take some notes.

97
00:05:23.000 --> 00:05:27.000
What is your heart actually telling you right now?

98
00:05:27.000 --> 00:05:32.000
Remember the heart is deceitfully wicked. Who can know it? God knows it.

99
00:05:32.000 --> 00:05:38.000
What is your heart telling you about men right now and regarding your spirit mate?

100
00:05:38.000 --> 00:05:43.000
Two separate things there.

101
00:05:43.000 --> 00:05:56.000
So as you're writing that down or just kind of making note of what that is, the divine feminine typically walks in softness, is receptive, is full of grace.

102
00:05:56.000 --> 00:06:03.000
It is a posture of rest, not striving.

103
00:06:03.000 --> 00:06:10.000
So we often cannot walk in the divine feminine when we are white knuckling something to control it.

104
00:06:10.000 --> 00:06:13.000
So I want you all to picture, have you ever white knuckled a car steering wheel?

105
00:06:13.000 --> 00:06:20.000
Something's about to happen and you're just like, you grab onto that thing because you're all of a sudden scared, right?

106
00:06:20.000 --> 00:06:25.000
I don't know about you all, but man, I've had increased anxiety living in Florida.

107
00:06:25.000 --> 00:06:29.000
The drivers here are nutso.

108
00:06:29.000 --> 00:06:34.000
And I love being a passenger princess, but there's something about in Florida.

109
00:06:34.000 --> 00:06:37.000
Sarah's laughing because she's lived here.

110
00:06:37.000 --> 00:06:41.000
But like, I trust my husband. Yeah, Chrissy knows too.

111
00:06:41.000 --> 00:06:43.000
People that live in Florida, y'all know.

112
00:06:43.000 --> 00:06:45.000
I do trust him.

113
00:06:46.000 --> 00:06:54.000
And we've made this trip before from Florida to Indiana, but we drove up to Indiana this past week for a family funeral and stuff.

114
00:06:54.000 --> 00:07:00.000
And I realized when we were driving around in Indiana and Kentucky, I didn't feel stressed.

115
00:07:00.000 --> 00:07:04.000
I didn't feel super worried that we were constantly going to have an accident.

116
00:07:04.000 --> 00:07:11.000
But when we started entering Georgia and Florida, the anxiety started rising in the last couple of days.

117
00:07:11.000 --> 00:07:15.000
And I'm like, okay, this is legit. There's something about this.

118
00:07:15.000 --> 00:07:17.000
Why am I mentioning that to you?

119
00:07:17.000 --> 00:07:25.000
Because even though I'm not driving, what I find myself doing is inside tightening up this.

120
00:07:25.000 --> 00:07:31.000
I need to have some level of control here because I feel scared.

121
00:07:31.000 --> 00:07:36.000
So I want you to connect that to your dating experience right now.

122
00:07:36.000 --> 00:07:38.000
And maybe some of you are just having fun and it's going great.

123
00:07:38.000 --> 00:07:40.000
And if so, that's amazing.

124
00:07:40.000 --> 00:07:52.000
But if you're kind of in that place that every time you even try to interact with a guy on an app, you're like, I got to control the outcome of this thing.

125
00:07:52.000 --> 00:07:53.000
I got to know how it's going to go.

126
00:07:53.000 --> 00:07:55.000
I got to know what every text message means.

127
00:07:55.000 --> 00:07:59.000
Or, you know, then that's something we need to be looking at.

128
00:07:59.000 --> 00:08:01.000
Where is that really coming from on the inside of us?

129
00:08:01.000 --> 00:08:03.000
What is driving that anxiety?

130
00:08:03.000 --> 00:08:06.000
And sometimes those external factors are real.

131
00:08:06.000 --> 00:08:08.000
Sometimes the guy maybe isn't a great guy.

132
00:08:08.000 --> 00:08:11.000
Maybe he's acting in toxic ways.

133
00:08:11.000 --> 00:08:17.000
Maybe your internal messaging is causing that anxiety to rise.

134
00:08:17.000 --> 00:08:18.000
Okay.

135
00:08:18.000 --> 00:08:21.000
Remember, heartwork is a lifelong journey.

136
00:08:21.000 --> 00:08:29.000
You're going to continue to have opportunities to be triggered, to heal, to hopefully laugh in the process at yourself.

137
00:08:29.000 --> 00:08:33.000
Let's not be so serious, ladies, that we can't just laugh at ourselves a little bit.

138
00:08:34.000 --> 00:08:35.000
Okay.

139
00:08:35.000 --> 00:08:36.000
Y'all, I've been doing heartwork.

140
00:08:36.000 --> 00:08:39.000
I've been leading it and coaching it for five and a half years.

141
00:08:39.000 --> 00:08:41.000
I've done a lot of work before I even started doing that.

142
00:08:41.000 --> 00:08:48.000
And sometimes I just kind of have to chuckle at myself like, oh, got caught by that thing again.

143
00:08:48.000 --> 00:08:51.000
Why does that seem to keep tripping me up right there?

144
00:08:51.000 --> 00:08:52.000
And I'm already married.

145
00:08:52.000 --> 00:08:55.000
So just saying stuff happens.

146
00:08:55.000 --> 00:08:56.000
Right.

147
00:08:56.000 --> 00:09:02.000
But when we allow God to reveal things to us through it, man, that's key.

148
00:09:02.000 --> 00:09:03.000
Okay.

149
00:09:03.000 --> 00:09:05.000
So continue to have kind of that perspective.

150
00:09:05.000 --> 00:09:06.000
Okay.

151
00:09:06.000 --> 00:09:13.000
Where am I trying to white knuckle something right now and get my hands back on the Jesus?

152
00:09:13.000 --> 00:09:14.000
Jesus, take the wheel.

153
00:09:14.000 --> 00:09:17.000
Oh, no, I'm taking it back because you're not doing this fast enough.

154
00:09:17.000 --> 00:09:19.000
You're not sending the right kind of guy.

155
00:09:19.000 --> 00:09:23.000
He's not saying the right kind of thing, whatever that looks like for you.

156
00:09:23.000 --> 00:09:31.000
And for some of you that aren't dating yet, maybe you're still in that place of trying to white knuckle and stay kind of keep yourself in that waiting room.

157
00:09:31.000 --> 00:09:33.000
Because something isn't perfect yet.

158
00:09:33.000 --> 00:09:37.000
Perfectionism came up when I was praying for you all to open the session.

159
00:09:37.000 --> 00:09:41.000
So I think that there's there's some people here that need that today.

160
00:09:41.000 --> 00:09:45.000
That reminder that this isn't about perfection.

161
00:09:45.000 --> 00:09:47.000
The guys don't have to be perfect.

162
00:09:47.000 --> 00:09:49.000
You don't have to be perfect.

163
00:09:49.000 --> 00:09:53.000
It's about taking in perfect action.

164
00:09:53.000 --> 00:09:55.000
One step.

165
00:09:55.000 --> 00:09:59.000
What's one imperfect action you can take today?

166
00:09:59.000 --> 00:10:01.000
Carry on.

167
00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:03.500
We talked about that in the heart work, and so I'm bringing that back to remind you all.

168
00:10:03.500 --> 00:10:07.000
You don't have to accomplish everything all at one time.

169
00:10:08.500 --> 00:10:12.500
What's one brave step? What's one brave thing you can do to drop a hanky?

170
00:10:12.500 --> 00:10:15.000
You know, again, some of you are further along in the dating process.

171
00:10:15.000 --> 00:10:17.500
I don't know, because I haven't heard you all's updates.

172
00:10:17.500 --> 00:10:21.000
So I'm just going to try to bring from every angle as we go through this today.

173
00:10:21.000 --> 00:10:25.500
So, as we partner with what Jackie said on Saturday,

174
00:10:25.500 --> 00:10:30.000
I want to encourage you all to let the good shepherd lead your love life.

175
00:10:31.000 --> 00:10:34.000
Okay? The way that he leads everything else.

176
00:10:34.000 --> 00:10:37.500
Now, if some of you are still not convinced that he's a good shepherd,

177
00:10:37.500 --> 00:10:41.000
well, then there's some heart work in and of itself, right?

178
00:10:43.000 --> 00:10:48.000
If you believe that God leads you into things that harm you,

179
00:10:49.000 --> 00:10:53.500
then you're probably going to believe that he would lead you into a relationship

180
00:10:53.500 --> 00:10:55.000
that you would not be happy in.

181
00:10:57.000 --> 00:10:57.500
Okay?

182
00:10:59.000 --> 00:11:01.000
We hear it happen all the time.

183
00:11:03.000 --> 00:11:07.500
Alright, so, we're leaving the year of six.

184
00:11:07.500 --> 00:11:09.000
This is what Jackie's talking about.

185
00:11:09.000 --> 00:11:13.500
This striving, the hustling, the working for it and working for it.

186
00:11:13.500 --> 00:11:18.500
Some of you all maybe need to take a break from time to time from the dating apps.

187
00:11:18.500 --> 00:11:23.000
Jackie has said for years, if you feel like you're working the dating apps like a job,

188
00:11:23.000 --> 00:11:24.000
you need to take a break.

189
00:11:26.000 --> 00:11:28.000
Grace and ease.

190
00:11:30.000 --> 00:11:33.500
Sometimes, getting out of your comfort zone, but it shouldn't feel like you're like,

191
00:11:33.500 --> 00:11:36.500
ugh, I gotta get on the dating apps again.

192
00:11:36.500 --> 00:11:40.000
I gotta talk to this guy because I gotta make it work.

193
00:11:40.500 --> 00:11:41.000
No.

194
00:11:42.500 --> 00:11:43.000
Okay?

195
00:11:45.000 --> 00:11:52.000
We're going to enter the seven, which is completion, rest and working from.

196
00:11:52.000 --> 00:11:54.000
So, I want you to think about shifting.

197
00:11:54.000 --> 00:11:59.000
The six is working for it, but seven is working from.

198
00:11:59.000 --> 00:12:00.000
From what?

199
00:12:00.000 --> 00:12:05.000
Remember in heart work, I talked about when we come from a position of love,

200
00:12:05.000 --> 00:12:08.500
knowing who we are in Christ, knowing his love,

201
00:12:09.000 --> 00:12:15.000
then we serve, we live, we have our being from that place.

202
00:12:16.000 --> 00:12:17.000
From the love.

203
00:12:17.500 --> 00:12:18.000
Okay?

204
00:12:18.000 --> 00:12:19.500
From confidence.

205
00:12:20.000 --> 00:12:21.500
From grace and ease.

206
00:12:22.000 --> 00:12:28.000
For some of you, maybe you need to receive peace first so that you can go on to the dating app

207
00:12:28.000 --> 00:12:30.000
from that place of peace.

208
00:12:30.000 --> 00:12:32.000
Do y'all understand what I'm saying?

209
00:12:33.000 --> 00:12:33.500
Okay?

210
00:12:34.500 --> 00:12:35.000
All right.

211
00:12:35.000 --> 00:12:36.000
So, we're going to keep going.

212
00:12:37.000 --> 00:12:43.000
So, I want you to think about how have you been approaching the dating apps

213
00:12:43.500 --> 00:12:45.500
or even the idea of dating.

214
00:12:45.500 --> 00:12:48.000
Remember, I kind of talked about that a few minutes ago.

215
00:12:49.000 --> 00:12:50.500
Has it been striving?

216
00:12:50.500 --> 00:12:53.000
Have you been trying to control outcomes?

217
00:12:54.500 --> 00:12:57.000
Have you been even competing in your own mind?

218
00:12:57.000 --> 00:13:01.500
Maybe even you see someone else doing well when they do their update in the app here

219
00:13:01.500 --> 00:13:05.500
and then all of a sudden you feel this competition internally rising up,

220
00:13:05.500 --> 00:13:11.000
like something's wrong with you and you feel like you have to be at a certain place where they are,

221
00:13:11.500 --> 00:13:13.000
but your journey isn't theirs.

222
00:13:15.000 --> 00:13:19.000
Do you feel like you have to constantly brace yourself for disappointment?

223
00:13:21.500 --> 00:13:24.500
Do any of those things resonate for any of you all?

224
00:13:25.000 --> 00:13:29.000
This is the year that the shepherd is going to lead you in these areas too.

225
00:13:29.000 --> 00:13:32.000
He doesn't want you to have to come from those places.

226
00:13:32.500 --> 00:13:35.000
And he's not upset with you if you feel those.

227
00:13:35.000 --> 00:13:35.500
Okay?

228
00:13:36.000 --> 00:13:38.000
It's really important for you to understand that.

229
00:13:38.000 --> 00:13:42.000
If you feel disappointment, if you have felt like you needed to control an outcome,

230
00:13:42.000 --> 00:13:45.000
if you felt like you needed to compete, he understands.

231
00:13:45.000 --> 00:13:47.500
Remember, he knows the why behind our what.

232
00:13:47.500 --> 00:13:50.000
He knows why we brace for impact.

233
00:13:50.000 --> 00:13:53.000
He knows why we white knuckle those things sometimes,

234
00:13:53.000 --> 00:13:56.000
because there's still things that need healing down on the inside.

235
00:13:56.500 --> 00:13:57.000
Okay?

236
00:13:57.500 --> 00:14:00.000
So here's something I want to get you activated in the chat.

237
00:14:00.000 --> 00:14:04.000
We're going to do this a couple times today because I like you all to interact with me

238
00:14:04.000 --> 00:14:06.000
and I want to keep you engaged with what we're talking about.

239
00:14:06.000 --> 00:14:06.500
Okay?

240
00:14:07.000 --> 00:14:08.500
So here's my question to you.

241
00:14:09.500 --> 00:14:12.000
Where have you been striving in your love life?

242
00:14:13.500 --> 00:14:16.000
One word in the chat or a phrase,

243
00:14:17.000 --> 00:14:21.000
because you're trying to make something happen or you're bracing for the worst.

244
00:14:21.000 --> 00:14:23.500
Where have you been striving in your love life?

245
00:14:24.500 --> 00:14:26.000
What does that mean to you all?

246
00:14:27.500 --> 00:14:29.500
Yes, yes, yes, Edwin.

247
00:14:29.500 --> 00:14:32.000
Edwidge, I'm glad that this is helping you.

248
00:14:35.500 --> 00:14:38.000
Okay, so Rochelle says no love life to strive at.

249
00:14:38.500 --> 00:14:39.500
Well, not yet.

250
00:14:40.000 --> 00:14:41.500
Maybe not yet.

251
00:14:41.500 --> 00:14:42.500
That's all right.

252
00:14:43.000 --> 00:14:46.000
Trusting intentions, Rebecca said.

253
00:14:47.000 --> 00:14:49.000
I'm just going to wait for those to come in.

254
00:14:52.000 --> 00:14:53.000
No love life right now.

255
00:14:53.000 --> 00:14:54.500
That's all right, Jennifer.

256
00:14:57.500 --> 00:14:59.500
Jess says haven't used apps yet.

257
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:03.660
You just came in, girl. I love it.

258
00:15:03.660 --> 00:15:06.560
Nervous about it. I've been trying to be more accessible in public.

259
00:15:06.560 --> 00:15:09.360
Going to new churches, new places, new gym. That's great.

260
00:15:09.360 --> 00:15:12.560
Trying hard to be out there. Okay. I want you to try soft.

261
00:15:12.560 --> 00:15:17.460
Okay. Don't feel like you have to strive. Just do one thing a day or a week.

262
00:15:17.460 --> 00:15:19.600
Some of y'all need to just do one thing a week

263
00:15:19.600 --> 00:15:22.600
because maybe you just got a lot going on in your life.

264
00:15:22.600 --> 00:15:25.200
Okay. Edwidge says the dating apps are annoying right now.

265
00:15:25.200 --> 00:15:29.060
Yeah, they can be. So if you feel like that's kind of the constant.

266
00:15:29.060 --> 00:15:33.320
So when you go to get on the app, are you annoyed before you even get on there?

267
00:15:33.320 --> 00:15:38.660
Because if so, you're going to carry that energy into any interactions that you have there.

268
00:15:38.660 --> 00:15:40.560
Sarah said trying to control Betsy.

269
00:15:40.560 --> 00:15:45.620
The dating apps trying to always connect with new people rather than being patient.

270
00:15:45.620 --> 00:15:52.060
Okay. Well, maybe part of that too is you haven't connected with a good connection yet.

271
00:15:52.060 --> 00:15:55.620
Because, you know, it's going to feel exciting.

272
00:15:55.620 --> 00:16:02.420
Like, I remember a couple guys kind of like when I was on the apps early on.

273
00:16:02.420 --> 00:16:06.220
And I can remember like, you know, sometimes too, someone will message you and this young guy,

274
00:16:06.220 --> 00:16:10.620
he was like, I don't know, 20. I would never date a 20 year old when I'm like 40 something.

275
00:16:10.620 --> 00:16:15.220
But it still felt really good. It did. And I enjoyed that.

276
00:16:15.220 --> 00:16:19.020
I let myself enjoy that. Now, I didn't entertain that for long.

277
00:16:19.020 --> 00:16:25.580
But, you know, some of that too, like, it's okay to feel that and receive that, right?

278
00:16:25.580 --> 00:16:29.180
And then other guys, one guy, he kept trying to go the sex route.

279
00:16:29.180 --> 00:16:32.580
And I had to keep like, hey, we're not talking about that.

280
00:16:32.580 --> 00:16:38.580
But I continue to talk with him because what it gave me is it grew my boldness to stand up for my boundaries.

281
00:16:38.580 --> 00:16:44.580
And I was embracing that. Now, when it got to a certain point that I was like, okay, yeah, this guy isn't for me.

282
00:16:44.580 --> 00:16:48.480
Then I cut that off. But, you know, remember that we're practicing.

283
00:16:48.480 --> 00:16:52.780
Okay, so not everyone has to turn into the one, right?

284
00:16:52.780 --> 00:16:56.180
Because we're looking, we're not looking for a needle in a haystack.

285
00:16:56.180 --> 00:16:58.580
I've been talking to the ladies in the heart work about this.

286
00:16:58.580 --> 00:17:00.780
And I'll tell you guys this story very quickly.

287
00:17:00.780 --> 00:17:04.380
I coached someone, gosh, it's probably been a year and a half ago now.

288
00:17:04.380 --> 00:17:09.780
And she had just broken up with this guy. She was dating for a while and she really liked him.

289
00:17:09.780 --> 00:17:14.380
But there were several things that just felt like they were blockages.

290
00:17:14.380 --> 00:17:16.980
That's the way I'll describe it with this guy.

291
00:17:17.180 --> 00:17:24.780
And some of it was all centered around his lack of his own Christian walk.

292
00:17:24.780 --> 00:17:30.680
Okay, he loved, he believed in Jesus, but he didn't really care if he went to church or not.

293
00:17:30.680 --> 00:17:35.480
Well, she does. So that's not a really good spiritual DNA match.

294
00:17:35.480 --> 00:17:39.380
Okay, but she continued in that relationship and it wasn't a bad thing.

295
00:17:39.380 --> 00:17:44.680
She learned a lot from it. But when that ended, she was really broken hearted.

296
00:17:44.680 --> 00:17:50.080
And when we were doing a session, she said, I feel like I'm looking for a unicorn.

297
00:17:50.080 --> 00:17:54.180
You know, kind of the same thought, the needle in the haystack.

298
00:17:54.180 --> 00:17:58.080
And I said, well, I want to challenge you on something.

299
00:17:58.080 --> 00:18:02.380
I want you to start envisioning unicorns popping up all over.

300
00:18:02.380 --> 00:18:05.580
And she just started laughing. She just was like, yeah, but that's not really real.

301
00:18:05.580 --> 00:18:09.580
I was like, well, I think it is. I think it can be.

302
00:18:09.580 --> 00:18:13.980
But it's what we believe and perceive that can change everything.

303
00:18:13.980 --> 00:18:18.180
So I coached her around that quite a bit. We got off that call and y'all,

304
00:18:18.180 --> 00:18:22.480
I was so serious about this thing that I went and created an image

305
00:18:22.480 --> 00:18:25.980
and I put a bunch of unicorns all over the image of her state that she lives in

306
00:18:25.980 --> 00:18:29.480
and then all over the US, like all over the place.

307
00:18:29.480 --> 00:18:36.080
And I sent her this image and I said, I just wanted to give you a visual to increase your faith for this.

308
00:18:36.080 --> 00:18:41.780
And she printed that out and hung it up. Y'all, she's in a really great relationship now.

309
00:18:41.780 --> 00:18:47.180
So I just want to encourage you. If you're the person that tends to think you're looking for the needle in the haystack

310
00:18:47.180 --> 00:18:50.680
or that one unicorn when there's all, you know,

311
00:18:50.680 --> 00:18:54.580
God wants to invite you to come out of that heart posture and that mindset.

312
00:18:54.580 --> 00:18:58.580
That's scarcity. Okay, we're going to keep going.

313
00:18:58.580 --> 00:19:02.080
For those of you that have just jumped on, I'm Bethany Cooper.

314
00:19:02.080 --> 00:19:04.480
You don't have Carla today. She's sick. Pray for her.

315
00:19:04.480 --> 00:19:07.180
But I am here and we're going to keep walking through.

316
00:19:07.180 --> 00:19:09.880
So we've been talking about where have you been striving in your love life?

317
00:19:09.880 --> 00:19:13.580
Let's see. I stopped at Betsy. Control. Okay, what's being said?

318
00:19:13.580 --> 00:19:18.480
Okay, Dana said not striving as I'm not seeing anyone yet or right now.

319
00:19:18.480 --> 00:19:25.580
Okay. So right now she's been having single dates no more.

320
00:19:25.580 --> 00:19:29.180
That can happen. Dana, I would encourage you to ask the Lord

321
00:19:29.180 --> 00:19:34.080
if there's something that you've partnered with even telling yourself that you only get one date and that's it.

322
00:19:34.080 --> 00:19:37.580
Because the more we partner with that, the more that can happen.

323
00:19:37.580 --> 00:19:41.780
All right. So everyone else in here, I see some more just restarted Facebook

324
00:19:41.780 --> 00:19:43.980
and it doesn't mean you guys have to be dating right now.

325
00:19:43.980 --> 00:19:49.280
Okay, want you all to really hear me say that. Control when we video chat.

326
00:19:49.280 --> 00:19:51.980
Would love to know more, Sarah, what that means for you.

327
00:19:51.980 --> 00:19:56.080
Like are you just trying to say like you're trying to control the day and time it's set up

328
00:19:56.080 --> 00:19:59.980
or are you trying to control how the conversation is going?

329
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:06.320
Very big difference there. Apps feeling discouraged, moments of doubt that it will work out. Yeah,

330
00:20:06.320 --> 00:20:11.840
most of us have those, but when you can kind of war against those and flip the script,

331
00:20:11.840 --> 00:20:16.560
you know, you gotta, we gotta flip the script. So one of the things the Lord taught me to do

332
00:20:16.560 --> 00:20:21.280
really early on was, God, thank you so much that you're taking me closer to my spirit mate

333
00:20:21.280 --> 00:20:25.680
and you're bringing my spirit mate closer to me. And I would pray every time before I got on the

334
00:20:25.680 --> 00:20:29.440
apps, and I would just say, God, thank you so much that you're going to send me good men to

335
00:20:29.440 --> 00:20:37.200
interact with. Now, the enemy still tried to send some people. Okay, let's, let's, I'm just talking

336
00:20:37.200 --> 00:20:44.080
real. But I also just focused on who I thought God was sending my way. There was another guy,

337
00:20:44.080 --> 00:20:48.640
super nice guy. I think he loved the Jesus in me more than he loved Jesus himself.

338
00:20:49.440 --> 00:20:54.480
But I went on a couple dates with him, super interesting guy, referee for football. I just

339
00:20:54.480 --> 00:20:58.400
wanted to, I just wanted to go on the date. Now, I didn't know that it would ever go anywhere. But

340
00:20:58.400 --> 00:21:03.440
it was a good experience. Again, I was trying to gain experience because in the past for me,

341
00:21:03.440 --> 00:21:09.200
I would date one guy and hone in on him. And that never went well for me. So I was practicing

342
00:21:09.200 --> 00:21:14.480
learning how to date and see what I felt was a green light. What did I think was yellow?

343
00:21:14.480 --> 00:21:19.920
What was God saying? Hey, this is red, stay away from this, you know, and really learning from

344
00:21:19.920 --> 00:21:23.520
that. I'm going to keep going. So here's another thing I want you to be thinking about.

345
00:21:24.960 --> 00:21:31.840
As we're talking about practicing soft, and we're talking about really surrendering the pen,

346
00:21:31.840 --> 00:21:38.080
allowing the Good Shepherd to lead our love life. Letting go of striving, letting go of this,

347
00:21:38.080 --> 00:21:42.240
you know, postures that lead us to constant disappointment or disbelief

348
00:21:42.240 --> 00:21:51.760
that God could work things out for us. I'm going to ask you some questions about men. Okay. Number one,

349
00:21:52.480 --> 00:22:02.400
do you like men? And most of you will say yes, 100%. I like men. And you might.

350
00:22:03.680 --> 00:22:13.840
But do you genuinely have an appreciation for men? I like them more than women. That's funny.

351
00:22:14.800 --> 00:22:24.080
So yes, I can see that for sure, too. Yes, yes, yes. Okay, so, and Audrey says now, yes,

352
00:22:24.960 --> 00:22:30.080
not before maybe. A lot of people can relate to that. Hopefully you guys are growing in this area,

353
00:22:30.080 --> 00:22:37.760
but I do want to talk about it still today. So when you think about your spirit mate, because

354
00:22:37.760 --> 00:22:43.440
most of you seem to be like, yeah, Jennifer, you're like, sometimes I like men. Sometimes

355
00:22:43.440 --> 00:22:49.040
I'm not so sure. And maybe that or that's just the way I've been interpreting that gift. That's

356
00:22:49.040 --> 00:22:55.840
hilarious. Let's talk about the spirit mate. Because for some of you, you're like, yeah,

357
00:22:55.840 --> 00:23:02.080
I like men. Yeah, I think of things about men. But then when we start talking about your spirit mate,

358
00:23:02.080 --> 00:23:08.880
you're like, hmm. So what do you believe about your spirit mate? When I asked you that question

359
00:23:08.960 --> 00:23:13.280
earlier? Let's go ahead and put that in the chat. Be really honest.

360
00:23:15.440 --> 00:23:22.320
Do you believe that your spirit mate is going to be amazing? Do you believe that God has someone

361
00:23:22.320 --> 00:23:28.320
good for you? Do you believe that there's actually good men out there to be your spirit mate? Like,

362
00:23:28.320 --> 00:23:33.200
you know, let's just get real down to the honest parts of what's going on with you,

363
00:23:33.200 --> 00:23:35.520
because that's where we're going to be able to get some breakthrough.

364
00:23:39.680 --> 00:23:41.680
So what are you thinking about your spirit mate?

365
00:23:44.000 --> 00:23:51.360
Okay, Sarah said, I think my spirit mate will be solid but boring. Love that honesty. Rebecca said,

366
00:23:51.360 --> 00:23:56.080
I'm really starting to believe it. That's awesome. Edwidge says, I'm not sure if there's one for me

367
00:23:56.080 --> 00:24:01.600
if I'm being honest. All right, well, here's the unicorn thing. There's not just one. You're going

368
00:24:01.600 --> 00:24:06.640
to have choices, Edwidge. I'll never forget the time Jackie Dorman said that on a live session,

369
00:24:07.600 --> 00:24:12.160
and I wrote that down on a post-it note, and I put it up in my bathroom,

370
00:24:12.160 --> 00:24:16.160
and I just started partnering with, God, thank you that you're going to give me choices.

371
00:24:16.160 --> 00:24:24.800
And you all, 100%, I had choices. 100%. And there was, like, it wasn't like I was going to be

372
00:24:24.800 --> 00:24:31.360
settling for any, like, with them. Like, there was a lot of good choices. So, but I had to start

373
00:24:31.440 --> 00:24:36.640
partnering with that first. Let's see, living in a small community at the age of 52, I often run

374
00:24:36.640 --> 00:24:44.240
this scarcity script. Okay, so Stacy, guess what? We had a lady that lived in Berth, I think Berth,

375
00:24:44.240 --> 00:24:52.080
Australia. I think that's how you say it. Like, literally, very, very small. Very few people

376
00:24:52.080 --> 00:24:58.160
there. She never thought, and she couldn't relocate because of her son and, you know,

377
00:24:58.160 --> 00:24:59.920
parenting things and all that.

378
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:04.000
Y'all, she met a great guy and they got married.

379
00:25:04.000 --> 00:25:09.000
But again, it's if we believe that that is never going to happen,

380
00:25:09.000 --> 00:25:14.000
then we partner with that and then that's what manifests.

381
00:25:14.000 --> 00:25:21.000
I'm not talking about name it, claim it, but this really does impact everything.

382
00:25:21.000 --> 00:25:24.000
So then Haley says, I believe he's out there but taking forever.

383
00:25:24.000 --> 00:25:29.000
Okay, so let's shift out of he's taking forever into God, thank you

384
00:25:29.000 --> 00:25:32.000
that you're leading my spirit mate to me and me to my spirit mate.

385
00:25:32.000 --> 00:25:37.000
God, thank you for the appointed time that we will find each other.

386
00:25:37.000 --> 00:25:39.000
Okay, men aren't faithful.

387
00:25:39.000 --> 00:25:43.000
Lisa Maria says, am I good enough for the spirit mate that I'm praying for?

388
00:25:43.000 --> 00:25:45.000
Love this honesty.

389
00:25:45.000 --> 00:25:48.000
All right, so what does that actually mean?

390
00:25:48.000 --> 00:25:52.000
You know, ladies, when we think these thoughts, am I good enough?

391
00:25:52.000 --> 00:25:55.000
Well, who says you're not?

392
00:25:56.000 --> 00:25:59.000
And when a Proverbs 18.22, I think, you know, it says,

393
00:25:59.000 --> 00:26:02.000
when a man finds a wife, he's found a good thing.

394
00:26:02.000 --> 00:26:04.000
Well, you're his good thing, Lisa.

395
00:26:04.000 --> 00:26:06.000
You're his good thing.

396
00:26:06.000 --> 00:26:11.000
And the gifts that you have in you, I 100% believe that God will lead you

397
00:26:11.000 --> 00:26:16.000
to someone that your gifts in both of you will help each other.

398
00:26:16.000 --> 00:26:19.000
Brian and the gifts that he has and the way that he thinks about the Lord

399
00:26:19.000 --> 00:26:24.000
has definitely expanded who I am, the way I preach, the way I lead.

400
00:26:24.000 --> 00:26:28.000
His patience, man, sometimes I just watch how he is with people and I'm like,

401
00:26:28.000 --> 00:26:33.000
and I feel like I'm a pretty patient person, but his patience, I'm just like,

402
00:26:33.000 --> 00:26:35.000
man, thank you, God.

403
00:26:35.000 --> 00:26:40.000
You know, he never gets upset if I'm not feeling well and I need to rest.

404
00:26:40.000 --> 00:26:44.000
Like there's just a lot of things that God has given me and him that I prayed

405
00:26:44.000 --> 00:26:47.000
for for years.

406
00:26:47.000 --> 00:26:50.000
And so even on the men aren't faithful, you know,

407
00:26:50.000 --> 00:26:53.000
we want to continue to lean into where did that come from for you?

408
00:26:53.000 --> 00:26:57.000
You know, really dial back that dialogue where there are there old tapes

409
00:26:57.000 --> 00:27:00.000
playing in the background now because you're starting to try to date.

410
00:27:00.000 --> 00:27:06.000
And typically what will happen is the enemy will send you some guys that he

411
00:27:06.000 --> 00:27:08.000
will try to prove that point.

412
00:27:08.000 --> 00:27:10.000
Okay.

413
00:27:10.000 --> 00:27:14.000
But God will also send you guys that will be the opposite of that.

414
00:27:14.000 --> 00:27:18.000
It'll be just what it'll be up to you to choose what you're going to focus on.

415
00:27:18.000 --> 00:27:22.000
Remember what we focus on is going to increase.

416
00:27:22.000 --> 00:27:23.000
Okay.

417
00:27:23.000 --> 00:27:24.000
I'm going to keep going.

418
00:27:24.000 --> 00:27:25.000
And let's see, Teresa says here,

419
00:27:25.000 --> 00:27:28.000
I believe my spirit mate is going to be amazing and compliment me.

420
00:27:28.000 --> 00:27:30.000
Loyal strong takes the lead.

421
00:27:30.000 --> 00:27:32.000
I've been tired of doing everything by myself.

422
00:27:32.000 --> 00:27:33.000
Yep.

423
00:27:33.000 --> 00:27:34.000
They got to talk me off the ledge.

424
00:27:34.000 --> 00:27:38.000
Rebecca said, all right, Rebecca, we got to find out what ledger on.

425
00:27:38.000 --> 00:27:40.000
So that you don't get too close to that.

426
00:27:40.000 --> 00:27:43.000
So that the men have to talk you off of there because we want you to be off of

427
00:27:43.000 --> 00:27:44.000
there by yourself.

428
00:27:44.000 --> 00:27:45.000
Okay.

429
00:27:45.000 --> 00:27:46.000
All right.

430
00:27:46.000 --> 00:27:47.000
I'm not going to be able to read all these right now,

431
00:27:47.000 --> 00:27:50.000
but this is going to give me and Carla and Ebony,

432
00:27:50.000 --> 00:27:53.000
some great ideas to continue to build content for the next few weeks.

433
00:27:53.000 --> 00:27:55.000
Love that everyone else put things in here,

434
00:27:55.000 --> 00:27:57.000
but I want to make sure we have time for group coaching.

435
00:27:57.000 --> 00:27:59.000
So I'm going to keep going.

436
00:27:59.000 --> 00:28:03.000
So here are some things that I want you to start kind of thinking about and

437
00:28:03.000 --> 00:28:05.000
partnering with regarding your spirit mate.

438
00:28:05.000 --> 00:28:09.000
We often say, which again, you guys, I'm married, but I'm,

439
00:28:09.000 --> 00:28:13.000
I'm coaching as in like, I want y'all know I walk through this stuff too.

440
00:28:13.000 --> 00:28:14.000
Okay.

441
00:28:14.000 --> 00:28:15.000
I have.

442
00:28:15.000 --> 00:28:17.000
And so that's, I can relate to things y'all are going through.

443
00:28:18.000 --> 00:28:22.000
So we say we want a spirit mate, but a hard heart towards men,

444
00:28:22.000 --> 00:28:24.000
even like when we say, well, men aren't faithful.

445
00:28:24.000 --> 00:28:27.000
So we might say, okay, I like men,

446
00:28:27.000 --> 00:28:31.000
but then this dialogue underneath and I'm not picking on Lisa because it's

447
00:28:31.000 --> 00:28:34.000
just stood out. And it's, I think it's really valid where this,

448
00:28:34.000 --> 00:28:36.000
I called it today. I was coaching someone, you know,

449
00:28:36.000 --> 00:28:39.000
I think we have an A role and a B role, just like in a movie.

450
00:28:39.000 --> 00:28:42.000
And the A role often takes priority,

451
00:28:42.000 --> 00:28:45.000
but that B role often still runs in that background, doesn't it?

452
00:28:45.000 --> 00:28:49.000
And the B role for Lisa right now is men are, are not faithful.

453
00:28:50.000 --> 00:28:53.000
So even if she likes men,

454
00:28:54.000 --> 00:28:58.000
when she's showing up on the app or in dates or interacting with men,

455
00:28:58.000 --> 00:29:01.000
she has this B role. Men are not faithful role.

456
00:29:01.000 --> 00:29:05.000
That's kind of rolling around in there. Well, whether we want it to or not,

457
00:29:05.000 --> 00:29:10.000
that subconsciously will impact how we show up in interactions with men.

458
00:29:10.000 --> 00:29:13.000
Okay. So it's not your fault, Lisa. It's very common,

459
00:29:13.000 --> 00:29:18.000
but God wants you to continue to heal in that area so that when you show up on

460
00:29:18.000 --> 00:29:21.000
these dating apps, you actually believe, Hey,

461
00:29:21.000 --> 00:29:24.000
there's some really good men out there. Men are faithful. Men are kind.

462
00:29:25.000 --> 00:29:30.000
Is every man that way? No. Is every woman that way? No. Right.

463
00:29:31.000 --> 00:29:34.000
But if we believe that there are men that are faithful and kind,

464
00:29:35.000 --> 00:29:40.000
I started praying for God to send me brothers in Christ to be examples of his

465
00:29:40.000 --> 00:29:42.000
goodness so that I would start seeing it more and more.

466
00:29:43.000 --> 00:29:48.000
And to remind me of other people that were in my life that were good men to

467
00:29:48.000 --> 00:29:53.000
remind me of these kinds of things that men are in a good way. All right.

468
00:29:57.000 --> 00:30:00.000
Grace is the bridge and everything that we're doing ladies.

469
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:06.720
So here's the thing, if we practice letting go of striving and self-protection now,

470
00:30:08.400 --> 00:30:13.040
it's going to help you in your relationships later on. Because here's the thing, when you get married

471
00:30:14.000 --> 00:30:17.040
you're going to have times where you need to give your husband grace.

472
00:30:19.200 --> 00:30:27.280
We all mess up. So practicing it now is going to help you later on. Men will not always operate

473
00:30:27.280 --> 00:30:32.160
in the divine masculine when you meet them. Some of you all are going to go on dates with men that

474
00:30:32.160 --> 00:30:38.560
are still healing, they're still growing, they're still learning those skills as well. And a cold,

475
00:30:38.560 --> 00:30:47.520
hard-hearted posture in us gives them no room to grow into that. That doesn't mean that they won't

476
00:30:47.520 --> 00:30:52.400
be chivalrous. That doesn't mean that they won't know how to treat you like a lady. Some of them

477
00:30:52.960 --> 00:30:58.080
will, but some of them are just in transition like some of you are. Some of you are learning

478
00:30:58.080 --> 00:31:06.000
how to become divine feminine, to become soft, to receive care, to receive affection from men.

479
00:31:07.120 --> 00:31:12.800
And so just understand men are in process too. Boundaries can stay firm against genuine

480
00:31:12.800 --> 00:31:16.880
disrespect. It's okay for us to have boundaries when someone is disrespectful.

481
00:31:17.840 --> 00:31:23.200
So it's not like grace is just like, I'm sorry, it's not like the boundaries aren't there,

482
00:31:23.200 --> 00:31:27.680
but we want to also have grace, right? So like that guy I told you about when he would try to

483
00:31:27.680 --> 00:31:33.040
push the boundaries regarding, I wasn't like, you jerk, why are you talking to me like that?

484
00:31:33.600 --> 00:31:36.720
Y'all, I'm the one, when Jackie tells the story about the wiener dog,

485
00:31:37.280 --> 00:31:43.200
yep, I'm the one that a totally different guy asked me if I wanted to see his wiener, totally did.

486
00:31:43.520 --> 00:31:48.960
I got mad. I got real mad. And then, you know what he tried to do? He sent me a picture of a dog,

487
00:31:48.960 --> 00:31:53.040
a wiener dog in a hot dog costume, trying to act like he didn't mean what he said.

488
00:31:53.040 --> 00:31:59.200
Well, he did. And I knew it. And I didn't love that. And so I didn't keep talking to that guy

489
00:31:59.200 --> 00:32:04.640
because that was way more extreme than the other guy. And then that guy started kind of escalating

490
00:32:04.640 --> 00:32:09.360
and doing all kinds of really unhealthy things. And so I'm like, okay, yep, I'll bless you.

491
00:32:09.840 --> 00:32:16.240
Bless you. I'm moving on. Now, the other guy, I was learning a little bit more, okay,

492
00:32:16.240 --> 00:32:20.720
just different ways that he would try to push the boundary and what was healthy, what wasn't.

493
00:32:21.520 --> 00:32:28.800
And so again, I didn't, I didn't come at him hard because of that. Right. So we keep expectations,

494
00:32:28.800 --> 00:32:34.720
but we curdle, you know, we really kind of curdle that entitlement in us, like they should be this

495
00:32:34.800 --> 00:32:41.280
perfect person right out of the gate. So we want to see men lead and be chivalrous. We want to pay

496
00:32:41.280 --> 00:32:45.760
attention early on dates to what does that look like? What does that sound like? What does that

497
00:32:45.760 --> 00:32:52.240
feel like? But we don't want to step into demanding it and getting offended in the

498
00:32:52.240 --> 00:33:00.960
early stages of dating. So for example, let him decide, don't rush into offer like to split the

499
00:33:00.960 --> 00:33:10.000
bill. Okay. Give him a chance to choose to pay if he wants to. If it becomes a thing, then, hey,

500
00:33:10.000 --> 00:33:15.120
it's not that big of a deal in the beginning stages to split a bill. And I know Jackie's

501
00:33:15.120 --> 00:33:18.800
been back and forth. She said a couple different things over the years. I just think from my

502
00:33:18.800 --> 00:33:23.680
experience, like on one date, I split the check with someone on other dates. I didn't. Most of

503
00:33:23.680 --> 00:33:28.720
the men just paid and they didn't even ask me to pay. But if I started feeling like there was

504
00:33:28.720 --> 00:33:33.440
something around that, then I did go ahead and offer it to split the check. If that was something

505
00:33:33.440 --> 00:33:41.920
that they were more comfortable with. All right. So just curious when I say to ask this question,

506
00:33:41.920 --> 00:33:47.680
what does divine feminine look like to you? What does divine feminine look like to you?

507
00:33:47.680 --> 00:33:51.440
Give me one or two words in the chat. What does that look like to you?

508
00:33:51.840 --> 00:33:54.960
Go ahead and put those in there. What does divine feminine look like to you?

509
00:33:58.480 --> 00:34:00.640
I'm going to take a drink of water while you're doing that.

510
00:34:06.640 --> 00:34:13.360
Rebecca said humility, gentle and supportive, a respectful response, radiant ease. Yeah.

511
00:34:13.360 --> 00:34:20.320
Oh, Audrey, weak. Okay. We'll talk about that. Soft, inviting, ease and flow. Resting in God's

512
00:34:20.320 --> 00:34:29.920
promises. Surrender and trust. Gentle and soft. Yeah. Humility, soft, peaceful. Okay. So

513
00:34:29.920 --> 00:34:33.040
Jennifer says, I've still been struggling to know what that looks like to a point. I'm used to it

514
00:34:33.040 --> 00:34:38.560
just being me. Right. And it will come with time. It will come with time. It will come with time.

515
00:34:38.639 --> 00:34:43.360
To know what that looks like to a point I'm used to it just being me. Right. And it will come with

516
00:34:43.360 --> 00:34:50.080
practice. Receptive, receptive, but also strong. So these all, all of them are really good answers

517
00:34:50.080 --> 00:34:55.440
on the one where Audrey said weak. I'm so glad you shared that because a lot of times people

518
00:34:55.440 --> 00:34:59.920
do think this, but we can actually be very strong.

519
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:06.300
strong, and very soft at the same time. And the soft doesn't mean weak, it just means

520
00:35:06.300 --> 00:35:13.220
how we're showing up in our receptiveness to someone or our response versus a harsh

521
00:35:13.220 --> 00:35:19.380
reaction. Remember what I was just talking about, the coldness or, you know, harsh, you

522
00:35:19.380 --> 00:35:25.860
know, reactions when even someone's doing something, you know, that may or may not be

523
00:35:25.860 --> 00:35:29.140
healthy or unhealthy, you know, if they're doing or saying something unhealthy, we don't

524
00:35:29.140 --> 00:35:34.460
have to go all in raging at them, right? We can just say, Hey, you know, I've really enjoyed

525
00:35:34.460 --> 00:35:40.540
getting to know you. And I think at this time, I just think we're probably not the best match

526
00:35:40.540 --> 00:35:45.100
for each other. I bless you. And you know, like, do you see the difference versus Oh,

527
00:35:45.100 --> 00:35:48.500
my gosh, you're such a jerk. Why would you say that to me? You know, where we just get

528
00:35:48.500 --> 00:35:54.340
really enraged. Now, if that happens, like when that guy said that to me, and I got really

529
00:35:54.620 --> 00:35:59.700
Oh, man, I got so offended. I'm not saying I shouldn't have gotten offended about the

530
00:35:59.700 --> 00:36:07.260
whole wiener thing. But I needed to look out. Like what? Why did that offend me so deeply?

531
00:36:07.260 --> 00:36:12.300
Because I was I mean, I was deeply offended. Now, obviously, I just don't think that's

532
00:36:12.300 --> 00:36:19.580
appropriate. But it went back to Okay, the lie that I was believing is all men want one

533
00:36:19.580 --> 00:36:27.300
thing. That's what I really believed. And I had to get to the core of that belief and

534
00:36:27.300 --> 00:36:33.220
unpack that and heal a little bit more so that the next interaction would go differently.

535
00:36:33.260 --> 00:36:39.260
Okay. All right. So let's keep talking about this. I want to talk about the divine feminine.

536
00:36:39.900 --> 00:36:44.900
A lot of times divine feminine, this is ways that we would describe it to you a nurturer,

537
00:36:45.260 --> 00:36:57.260
a comforter, counselor, someone who is wise, intuitive, receptive, meek, m e k, not weak, but

538
00:36:57.260 --> 00:37:05.420
meek, that means that we're humble in our approach to things. Oftentimes, the opposite of

539
00:37:05.420 --> 00:37:13.580
that when we step into divine masculine or the harsh feminine postures, it can look toxic, it

540
00:37:13.580 --> 00:37:24.020
can look dark. It can look like control, manipulation, coldness, harshness, suspicious.

541
00:37:25.860 --> 00:37:31.340
And so I want you to hear how these show up in people's lives every day. So if we're leaning

542
00:37:31.340 --> 00:37:36.780
into divine feminine, we want to encourage without people pleasing, that's where it's going

543
00:37:36.780 --> 00:37:43.140
to show up in balance, okay? You don't have to do for others what they can do for themselves.

544
00:37:46.580 --> 00:37:53.020
Right? Being divinely feminine doesn't mean people walk all over us. It doesn't mean we

545
00:37:53.020 --> 00:37:57.100
become doormats. And that's where I think even some of us start to feel like divine feminine

546
00:37:57.100 --> 00:38:03.780
has a weakness to it. It's not saying, hey, everybody can just be however they want and

547
00:38:03.780 --> 00:38:10.100
treat us however they want. Okay, divine feminine, when we walk in that we're going to press into

548
00:38:10.100 --> 00:38:15.580
the Holy Spirit circling back to the beginning where we started, that God is the Good Shepherd,

549
00:38:15.580 --> 00:38:23.260
who's going to lead our love life as we let him. Okay, press into the Holy Spirit. So we walk in

550
00:38:23.260 --> 00:38:29.220
wisdom and confidence. We don't approach people out of judgment, suspicion or manipulation. And

551
00:38:29.540 --> 00:38:34.340
so think about that when you're on the dating app, and you're in these conversations. Are you

552
00:38:34.340 --> 00:38:43.900
showing up with judgment, suspicion? Are you trying to control an outcome? Or are you God

553
00:38:43.900 --> 00:38:50.540
defended? Where you don't feel like you have to defend yourself or explain every thought that you

554
00:38:50.540 --> 00:38:55.340
have anybody doing that right now? Where if somebody like you say something and you guys are

555
00:38:55.340 --> 00:39:00.260
in a conversation, and maybe the other person does or doesn't agree with you. And then all of a

556
00:39:00.260 --> 00:39:04.740
sudden, you feel like you have to give this whole big explanation about your thought. We don't have

557
00:39:04.740 --> 00:39:15.380
to do that. But that's where we shift back into that, like, we must be understood. I am female, I

558
00:39:15.380 --> 00:39:24.220
am strong. Anyone else? I'm not saying it's bad to want to be understood. But some of us get into

559
00:39:24.220 --> 00:39:32.660
that cycle. And that kind of repetitive thing. Because somewhere in our past, we felt

560
00:39:32.660 --> 00:39:43.540
misunderstood. I am woman hear me roar. Isn't that a big thing in our society? Yeah. Now, again, I'm

561
00:39:43.540 --> 00:39:50.300
all about being a strong woman. I'm I have grown in confidence so much. I love accomplishing

562
00:39:50.300 --> 00:39:59.340
things. There's nothing wrong with that. But if I do it at the expense of my husband, that's a

563
00:39:59.340 --> 00:40:00.060
whole different story.

564
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:05.120
story, right? All right, we're going to keep going. So you're

565
00:40:05.120 --> 00:40:09.880
going to practice gentleness, being soft being vulnerable.

566
00:40:10.360 --> 00:40:14.520
Yes, yes, yes, we're going to practice being vulnerable, not

567
00:40:14.520 --> 00:40:19.440
rigid and cold. Okay. We're almost there. And then we're

568
00:40:19.440 --> 00:40:23.680
going to go into group coaching. So let's get ready. All right,

569
00:40:23.680 --> 00:40:27.760
practicing soft and dropping the hanky some of you you're having

570
00:40:27.760 --> 00:40:30.240
these conversations and you're like terrified to drop the

571
00:40:30.240 --> 00:40:33.840
hanky because what if they don't pick it up? And so you're

572
00:40:33.840 --> 00:40:35.920
just staying in these conversations for this really

573
00:40:35.920 --> 00:40:39.000
long time when God's like, Hey, go ahead, take a step forward,

574
00:40:39.000 --> 00:40:41.960
take a step forward. Let's see what they do. So I want to

575
00:40:41.960 --> 00:40:46.200
encourage you this week to walk it out. Okay, softness, remember,

576
00:40:46.480 --> 00:40:52.000
comes with practice. It's not a personality type. I want you to

577
00:40:52.000 --> 00:40:55.200
think about it as a rest posture. So what Jackie was

578
00:40:55.200 --> 00:40:58.600
talking about on Saturday, practicing coming from a place

579
00:40:58.600 --> 00:41:04.040
of rest, not performance. So practical ways to step into

580
00:41:04.040 --> 00:41:09.160
this, whether you're dating or not, okay. Value yourself

581
00:41:09.160 --> 00:41:13.000
because you are a gift. And remember that men are gifts,

582
00:41:13.000 --> 00:41:21.560
too. I see what you put in there, Laura, I, I will try, I

583
00:41:21.560 --> 00:41:23.640
will try to do that during our coaching time here. I'm going

584
00:41:23.640 --> 00:41:27.160
to get to that as soon as I can. Let yourself be feminine

585
00:41:27.200 --> 00:41:32.520
outwardly. So dresses, bright colors, maybe for some of you,

586
00:41:32.520 --> 00:41:35.480
if you like more muted colors, maybe just add a little color

587
00:41:35.520 --> 00:41:38.880
on occasion. Maybe it's doing your hair a little differently,

588
00:41:38.880 --> 00:41:42.200
maybe doing your makeup, maybe wearing some jewelry. You know,

589
00:41:42.200 --> 00:41:45.720
a lot of men like just the dangly earrings, it doesn't have

590
00:41:45.720 --> 00:41:49.280
to be super big, but like just a little dangle. And again, even

591
00:41:49.280 --> 00:41:51.760
the little studs can be very pretty and cute. But there's

592
00:41:51.800 --> 00:41:54.880
just something feminine about a little bit of a dangle. There

593
00:41:54.880 --> 00:42:00.000
just is. Ask men for help. How long has it been ladies since

594
00:42:00.000 --> 00:42:02.840
you left the heartwork? How many of you have actually been going

595
00:42:02.840 --> 00:42:07.200
and asking men for help? Or even women, for those of you that

596
00:42:07.200 --> 00:42:09.680
don't like women, you might need to practice it with the women

597
00:42:09.680 --> 00:42:14.480
too. And this doesn't have to be someone you're interested in.

598
00:42:14.720 --> 00:42:18.080
And honestly, I prefer for you guys to not quickly ask these

599
00:42:18.080 --> 00:42:20.560
men that you start talking to to come over and fix stuff in your

600
00:42:20.560 --> 00:42:24.160
house. I actually think that kind of blurs lines way too

601
00:42:24.160 --> 00:42:28.640
fast. Let's let them stay in the dating zone for a little while.

602
00:42:29.800 --> 00:42:33.200
Versus hey, come fix this, come fix that. Even if they're very

603
00:42:33.200 --> 00:42:35.560
chivalrous, and they know you have the need of something

604
00:42:35.560 --> 00:42:38.400
getting fixed, you know, you want to make sure that you know,

605
00:42:38.400 --> 00:42:41.320
you're not moving that relationship past the maturity

606
00:42:41.360 --> 00:42:45.920
that it is, that it's at. Okay, accept it graciously. So when

607
00:42:45.920 --> 00:42:48.240
people offer to do something nice for you, so this is the

608
00:42:48.240 --> 00:42:51.960
contradictory to what I just said, in a sense, because some

609
00:42:51.960 --> 00:42:53.960
men are going to want to come fix everything you need to have

610
00:42:53.960 --> 00:42:58.720
fixed in your house or wherever. But hey, let's let's look at

611
00:42:58.720 --> 00:43:02.560
some other people in your sphere that can help you and practicing

612
00:43:02.560 --> 00:43:06.080
accepting that help. Okay, go have fun. How many of you all

613
00:43:06.080 --> 00:43:09.520
got stuck back in a rut? You came over to phase two, and you

614
00:43:09.520 --> 00:43:12.480
just kind of got stuck in a rut. When's the last time you went

615
00:43:12.480 --> 00:43:15.840
and did something fun? Hopefully you all are practicing fun on a

616
00:43:15.840 --> 00:43:20.280
regular basis. I want to remind you that men like women that can

617
00:43:20.280 --> 00:43:23.960
have fun. That doesn't mean you have to go do things you're not

618
00:43:23.960 --> 00:43:27.400
okay with doing, but like that know how to enjoy life that know

619
00:43:27.400 --> 00:43:31.960
how to go out and have a good time experience new things. All

620
00:43:31.960 --> 00:43:36.040
right, be around people that you enjoy. And so then dropping the

621
00:43:36.040 --> 00:43:40.320
hanky. Okay, this is the small feminine invitation. Hey,

622
00:43:40.320 --> 00:43:43.200
dropping a hanky. Here's a couple examples. I know you guys

623
00:43:43.200 --> 00:43:46.440
might not think of it this way. And this isn't the full hanky.

624
00:43:46.480 --> 00:43:50.240
Okay. But for some of you, you need this practice men start to

625
00:43:50.240 --> 00:43:53.360
walk by you and you I don't know about any of you anyone ever do

626
00:43:53.360 --> 00:43:57.760
this. Men walk by you and you look down. Or you look away.

627
00:43:58.080 --> 00:44:03.200
Anyone? Anyone else do that? I used to do that all the time. I

628
00:44:03.200 --> 00:44:06.320
don't know why I would I even did that. I would get nervous

629
00:44:06.320 --> 00:44:08.720
and I wouldn't look at them. So I practice just looking them in

630
00:44:08.720 --> 00:44:12.960
the eye and smiling. For some of you that hot like went through a

631
00:44:12.960 --> 00:44:15.800
really rough marriages in the past, you're going to need to

632
00:44:15.800 --> 00:44:19.400
practice smiling at men because when that all happened before,

633
00:44:19.920 --> 00:44:22.440
you kind of learned men weren't good. And that's what the enemy

634
00:44:22.440 --> 00:44:26.560
wants you to keep believing but practice smiling. You want to be

635
00:44:26.600 --> 00:44:31.120
open and receptive so that the man has room to step towards you

636
00:44:31.120 --> 00:44:35.880
versus feeling like you have all these walls up. So you might

637
00:44:35.880 --> 00:44:39.920
want to initiate something not chasing after them. But for

638
00:44:39.920 --> 00:44:43.200
example, one of the things that Jackie encouraged me to do when

639
00:44:43.200 --> 00:44:46.400
I was dating Brian, well, I'm sorry, we were just talking we

640
00:44:46.400 --> 00:44:51.680
weren't dating yet. We um, let's see, we connected on the app on

641
00:44:53.520 --> 00:44:59.760
September 6 of 21. And we had our first date September 12. And

642
00:44:59.760 --> 00:44:59.880
the

643
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:04.080
The reason that first date happened is because we were chatting and we were really enjoying the conversation.

644
00:45:04.080 --> 00:45:07.040
And he asked me what my God non-negotiables were.

645
00:45:07.040 --> 00:45:08.960
Now, number one, I'm like, what?

646
00:45:09.000 --> 00:45:10.320
Men don't ask that question.

647
00:45:11.400 --> 00:45:13.040
And that's how Jackie was talking.

648
00:45:13.040 --> 00:45:14.560
So I felt like that was a God thing.

649
00:45:14.560 --> 00:45:19.840
And, and so I went into our little group, you know, like you guys have, and I'm like, this is what he's asking.

650
00:45:19.840 --> 00:45:20.800
What do I say?

651
00:45:22.040 --> 00:45:22.800
Yes, I did.

652
00:45:23.040 --> 00:45:25.840
And Jackie said, tell him one of your God non-negotiables.

653
00:45:25.840 --> 00:45:33.200
And then say, um, I can share more about my other ones on like a video chat or whatever.

654
00:45:33.200 --> 00:45:35.760
Well, y'all, I went, I went past the video chat.

655
00:45:35.760 --> 00:45:38.520
I was just like, okay, here's one of my God non-negotiables.

656
00:45:39.000 --> 00:45:43.960
And if you want to know my other ones, you know, I'm open to connecting in person.

657
00:45:44.440 --> 00:45:45.400
And I just went for it.

658
00:45:46.400 --> 00:45:48.160
And he said, how about this Sunday?

659
00:45:49.360 --> 00:45:50.560
He went for it too.

660
00:45:50.800 --> 00:45:58.600
And so literally within six days, we had our first date and, um, you know, it went really well and all of the things.

661
00:45:58.840 --> 00:46:05.720
But even at that, you know, when he showed up dropping the hanky, I think is also letting them know that we had a good time.

662
00:46:06.080 --> 00:46:11.920
You know, you don't have to get all physical, but like touching their arm a little bit, giving them a hug.

663
00:46:11.920 --> 00:46:12.320
Goodbye.

664
00:46:12.320 --> 00:46:15.520
If you feel comfortable to, if you don't feel comfortable, then don't do it.

665
00:46:16.800 --> 00:46:17.080
Okay.

666
00:46:17.080 --> 00:46:19.000
And you don't have to hug every guy.

667
00:46:19.600 --> 00:46:21.880
But yeah, I told him I had a great time.

668
00:46:22.360 --> 00:46:24.520
He asked me, would you like to go on a date again?

669
00:46:24.680 --> 00:46:25.680
Yes, I would.

670
00:46:26.320 --> 00:46:27.440
Yes, I would, sir.

671
00:46:27.600 --> 00:46:28.680
Smile.

672
00:46:29.160 --> 00:46:29.640
Yes.

673
00:46:29.640 --> 00:46:31.440
You're not going to say, yes, I would.

674
00:46:32.400 --> 00:46:35.720
You know, what are they going to think if you're just like all like no smile.

675
00:46:35.720 --> 00:46:37.400
They're like, does she like me?

676
00:46:37.480 --> 00:46:39.120
Does she even want to really go on it?

677
00:46:39.120 --> 00:46:40.720
Does she feel like she has to say yes?

678
00:46:40.920 --> 00:46:41.320
Yes.

679
00:46:41.320 --> 00:46:42.760
Men think these things too.

680
00:46:43.120 --> 00:46:43.560
Okay.

681
00:46:44.120 --> 00:46:44.400
All right.

682
00:46:44.400 --> 00:46:45.760
So we got to let them know.

683
00:46:46.880 --> 00:46:47.760
We got to let them know.

684
00:46:48.080 --> 00:46:52.120
And so maybe some of you right now, your next step to drop the hanky is to say,

685
00:46:52.120 --> 00:46:56.800
Hey, I've enjoyed getting to know you a little bit in this chat via text, but.

686
00:46:58.280 --> 00:47:00.200
What about connecting on video chat?

687
00:47:02.000 --> 00:47:03.120
And let's see what they do.

688
00:47:03.320 --> 00:47:06.480
If they keep resisting the video chat ladies, you don't want to be in text

689
00:47:06.480 --> 00:47:11.280
mode for months and weeks and all that stuff that just, you can just move on

690
00:47:11.280 --> 00:47:14.680
from those people unless they're really amazing, but if they're really amazing,

691
00:47:14.880 --> 00:47:17.480
they should want to get together on a video chat and then they should want

692
00:47:17.480 --> 00:47:19.880
to move pretty quickly to a date.

693
00:47:20.400 --> 00:47:20.880
Okay.

694
00:47:21.560 --> 00:47:22.000
All right.

695
00:47:22.360 --> 00:47:24.680
So be inviting, be inviting.

696
00:47:24.680 --> 00:47:28.400
So there's more hanky drops that you can do, but those are the ones for right now.

697
00:47:28.400 --> 00:47:29.920
And I'll try to circle back to more.

698
00:47:30.280 --> 00:47:30.760
All right.

699
00:47:31.360 --> 00:47:33.880
The last thing I want to talk about really quick, and then I'm going to

700
00:47:33.880 --> 00:47:36.080
open up the group coaching is this.

701
00:47:37.280 --> 00:47:38.880
The letting go of scarcity.

702
00:47:40.360 --> 00:47:42.240
You don't have to compete ladies.

703
00:47:43.080 --> 00:47:43.640
Okay.

704
00:47:44.120 --> 00:47:49.480
The enemy is going to try everything he can to get you to believe that you have

705
00:47:49.480 --> 00:47:53.440
to compete with, not even like he'll try to even make you feel like you have to

706
00:47:53.440 --> 00:48:00.360
compete with your sisters here, other women out there, you don't have to

707
00:48:00.360 --> 00:48:05.640
compete because when God leads you to your spirit mate and your spirit mate to

708
00:48:05.640 --> 00:48:08.400
you, he's going to have eyes for you.

709
00:48:08.920 --> 00:48:09.560
He is.

710
00:48:10.280 --> 00:48:12.560
And you're going to be the most glorious thing in his sight.

711
00:48:14.320 --> 00:48:15.680
And that's just how it works.

712
00:48:15.680 --> 00:48:19.720
But here, let's talk about a couple of these things, the fear.

713
00:48:19.760 --> 00:48:22.400
Let's look at where it's coming from of competing.

714
00:48:24.880 --> 00:48:26.120
What is it rooted in?

715
00:48:26.320 --> 00:48:30.000
Is it rooted in scarcity, poverty mindsets that are trying to seep

716
00:48:30.000 --> 00:48:31.920
back up into your life and mind?

717
00:48:34.440 --> 00:48:39.440
Because that's the exact opposite of the 5787 word Jackie gave us on Saturday.

718
00:48:39.440 --> 00:48:42.360
Remember, I shall not want.

719
00:48:44.320 --> 00:48:46.880
I shall not want, guess what that means.

720
00:48:46.880 --> 00:48:49.640
Our mouth does not declare scarcity.

721
00:48:51.280 --> 00:48:54.360
Our mouth declares there's unicorns all over the place.

722
00:48:54.360 --> 00:48:56.800
For those of you that just joined us, you'll have to go back and listen

723
00:48:56.800 --> 00:48:58.120
to why I'm talking about that.

724
00:48:58.840 --> 00:49:01.520
There's men, there's good men all over the place.

725
00:49:01.560 --> 00:49:03.480
I want y'all to start partnering with that.

726
00:49:03.640 --> 00:49:06.800
God, thank you that there is good, healthy men all over the place.

727
00:49:07.080 --> 00:49:09.440
And you're going to lead me to the right one for me.

728
00:49:11.720 --> 00:49:12.240
Yeah.

729
00:49:12.960 --> 00:49:13.920
Inadequacy.

730
00:49:13.920 --> 00:49:16.960
Is that a feeling you're having Jennifer in yourself or you

731
00:49:16.960 --> 00:49:18.960
feel the men are inadequate?

732
00:49:19.120 --> 00:49:21.680
Are you saying that's what leads you to competition?

733
00:49:22.080 --> 00:49:24.360
Help me understand just so I make sure I'm following you there.

734
00:49:25.480 --> 00:49:25.920
All right.

735
00:49:26.280 --> 00:49:26.960
Um, let's see here.

736
00:49:26.960 --> 00:49:30.040
God wants to give you his best and that includes a spirit mate.

737
00:49:30.040 --> 00:49:31.920
And because his, okay.

738
00:49:31.920 --> 00:49:33.000
And this is really key.

739
00:49:33.360 --> 00:49:38.080
His supply is not limited.

740
00:49:40.680 --> 00:49:44.960
But if you believe it is, then remember that's a revealing

741
00:49:44.960 --> 00:49:46.520
for healing happening there.

742
00:49:50.560 --> 00:49:54.080
You can genuinely want God's best for other women too.

743
00:49:54.080 --> 00:49:59.840
When you believe there's an excessive supply, when there's more than enough.

744
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:07.360
Okay. So I see what you're saying. Yeah. I think that that can lead us to competing against

745
00:50:07.360 --> 00:50:12.080
one another because on the session that I did last night for heart work, it actually

746
00:50:12.080 --> 00:50:17.800
makes me think of something this one lady was sharing. And she was saying that like,

747
00:50:17.800 --> 00:50:21.480
she really struggles sometimes if she thinks another woman is beautiful, because then she

748
00:50:21.480 --> 00:50:26.640
automatically feels less. And I think a lot of women struggle with that. And so let's

749
00:50:26.640 --> 00:50:35.240
even just talk about that for a second. If you believe someone else being beautiful minimizes

750
00:50:35.240 --> 00:50:39.640
your beauty, God's going to want to help you get to the root of that, because that's not

751
00:50:39.640 --> 00:50:46.880
true. We can all be beautiful at the same time. One of the things I've talked about

752
00:50:46.880 --> 00:50:52.120
before is a lot of people will view kind of like God has us all in a line from front to

753
00:50:52.120 --> 00:50:56.820
back. And sometimes we feel like God takes people from the back of the line and he brings

754
00:50:56.820 --> 00:51:01.960
them to the front and we're like, God, they just cut me in line. They got their spirit

755
00:51:01.960 --> 00:51:09.740
made and I've been here waiting for five years. Yep. I know what happens because we view it

756
00:51:09.740 --> 00:51:17.500
as front to back. And that person, you just let them cut me in line. I've been here doing

757
00:51:17.500 --> 00:51:22.700
all the work. Martha, Martha, you're worried about things that you don't need to be worried

758
00:51:22.700 --> 00:51:29.900
about. Mary's chosen the better thing. Why did God say that to her? It wasn't just shame,

759
00:51:29.900 --> 00:51:36.780
Martha. But God was inviting her into a different perspective, a different heart posture. So

760
00:51:36.780 --> 00:51:43.340
I want to invite you all to start thinking about the line being this way, where all of

761
00:51:43.340 --> 00:51:51.660
us women, all the sisters are standing side by side. And guess what? We might all go up

762
00:51:51.660 --> 00:51:56.820
forward at different times to receive our spirit mate, but that doesn't mean anyone

763
00:51:56.820 --> 00:52:05.820
cut you in line for the Holy Spirit on this. Because when we're side by side, I feel like

764
00:52:05.820 --> 00:52:11.540
there's more camaraderie, right? It's like teammates all kind of cheering each other

765
00:52:11.540 --> 00:52:17.180
on because we all want to get to that place. And let me tell you this too. It's not just

766
00:52:17.180 --> 00:52:23.340
about getting to the altar, ladies. It's not. There's so much more that God is trying to

767
00:52:23.340 --> 00:52:28.940
do in your heart and life to prepare you to have a kingdom family and marriage. And that

768
00:52:28.940 --> 00:52:34.900
when you step into that marriage, that your foundation can sustain the weight of it. Marriage

769
00:52:34.900 --> 00:52:42.220
is a blessing, but marriage is also hard sometimes. Two people are becoming one. Y'all,

770
00:52:42.220 --> 00:52:48.280
that's not an easy process. It's good. And I'll never regret the decision to partner

771
00:52:48.280 --> 00:52:57.840
in life with Brian. Sometimes though, being a pastor's wife is really, really hard. Okay.

772
00:52:57.840 --> 00:53:01.740
Sometimes we say yes to things. We just don't know what all we're saying yes to, but we

773
00:53:01.740 --> 00:53:06.340
do. We kind of have a glimpse, right? And I don't want to scare you. Marriage is amazing.

774
00:53:06.340 --> 00:53:12.620
You guys are going to really be blessed by it. Okay. One last thing I want to say. Let's

775
00:53:12.620 --> 00:53:18.020
see. Let's look here. If someone isn't your spirit mate, you know, you've interacted with

776
00:53:18.020 --> 00:53:21.620
a guy on the dating apps. Maybe some of you start dating them for a few months and you

777
00:53:21.620 --> 00:53:24.820
think they're really great. And then you kind of realize you guys, whether both of you or

778
00:53:24.820 --> 00:53:29.620
one of you, and that ends up not working out. We've had people date for longer and then

779
00:53:29.620 --> 00:53:34.900
it didn't work out. I want you to really lean into resting, knowing that God has someone

780
00:53:34.900 --> 00:53:42.740
just right for you. So if it's not that guy, you're one step closer to your spirit mate,

781
00:53:42.740 --> 00:53:51.300
no competition, no striving because the shepherd is leading. Here's, here's something I want

782
00:53:51.300 --> 00:53:55.660
to give you. You guys can go back and listen to the replay to capture this, to encourage

783
00:53:55.660 --> 00:54:01.580
you to write it down and start saying it over yourself. I will not shepherd my own

784
00:54:01.580 --> 00:54:16.100
love life this year. I will not shepherd my own love life this year. I shall not want.

785
00:54:16.100 --> 00:54:29.020
I am armed with his word and I am at rest. I trust my shepherd more than I trust myself.

786
00:54:29.020 --> 00:54:35.900
Trust my shepherd more than I trust myself. God has good things for you. There's a scripture

787
00:54:35.900 --> 00:54:41.980
that talks about receiving the goodness of God in the land of the living. Some of you

788
00:54:41.980 --> 00:54:47.020
believe you're not going to get God's goodness until you get to heaven. Whether you admit

789
00:54:47.020 --> 00:54:50.940
it right now out loud or not, you believe that you're not going to have the good stuff

790
00:54:50.940 --> 00:54:58.100
until you get there. And for good reason for some of you, you've been through a lot, but

791
00:54:58.100 --> 00:55:00.020
God wants you to partner with your ladder.

792
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:02.760
yours can be greater than your former.

793
00:55:02.760 --> 00:55:05.040
OK?

794
00:55:05.040 --> 00:55:07.360
All right, so I know I went long,

795
00:55:07.360 --> 00:55:10.040
but I knew that you guys, we needed to hear

796
00:55:10.040 --> 00:55:12.400
some of this stuff today.

797
00:55:12.400 --> 00:55:15.400
So I have a half an hour for coaching.

798
00:55:15.400 --> 00:55:18.520
It's a little less than normal, but because I'm traveling,

799
00:55:18.520 --> 00:55:20.840
I normally would just go long and do an hour of coaching

800
00:55:20.840 --> 00:55:23.760
with you all, because I went long on the teaching,

801
00:55:23.760 --> 00:55:24.840
talking part.

802
00:55:24.840 --> 00:55:28.240
But we're traveling today, so I have a half an hour.

803
00:55:28.240 --> 00:55:30.040
Anyone that has any questions, it

804
00:55:30.040 --> 00:55:32.680
can be about the content that I just talked about.

805
00:55:32.680 --> 00:55:35.000
It could be about something else that you're processing.

806
00:55:35.000 --> 00:55:38.120
It could be about a date, an app thing, whatever.

807
00:55:38.120 --> 00:55:41.240
So it's kind of free game this afternoon.

808
00:55:41.240 --> 00:55:42.960
You want to just raise your digital hand,

809
00:55:42.960 --> 00:55:44.480
and then I know that you want to share,

810
00:55:44.480 --> 00:55:45.680
and then we'll go from there.

811
00:55:45.680 --> 00:55:47.320
Safrika, go ahead.

812
00:55:47.320 --> 00:55:48.880
Sorry.

813
00:55:48.880 --> 00:55:50.240
Is that how you say your name?

814
00:55:50.240 --> 00:55:51.040
Yes.

815
00:55:51.040 --> 00:55:52.440
OK, awesome.

816
00:55:52.440 --> 00:55:54.360
Oh, I am unmuted.

817
00:55:54.360 --> 00:55:57.040
I'm looking at my notes.

818
00:55:57.040 --> 00:56:02.520
So it's concerning boundaries, OK?

819
00:56:02.520 --> 00:56:04.840
So I'm new in phase two.

820
00:56:04.840 --> 00:56:08.800
I just got the email a few hours, and within half an hour,

821
00:56:08.800 --> 00:56:10.240
I just got in.

822
00:56:10.240 --> 00:56:14.520
But anyway, just to give a background,

823
00:56:14.520 --> 00:56:22.960
I guess two years ago, which was two months before the divorce,

824
00:56:22.960 --> 00:56:26.760
I trusted my mom, because she apologized to me

825
00:56:26.760 --> 00:56:30.280
with tears, and I let her into my home.

826
00:56:30.280 --> 00:56:32.760
And it was the worst.

827
00:56:32.760 --> 00:56:38.160
She treated me the worst ever, ever in my own home.

828
00:56:38.160 --> 00:56:41.280
But that was my wake-up call, which I'm very thankful for.

829
00:56:41.280 --> 00:56:45.760
So two years ago, I told her I cannot text.

830
00:56:45.760 --> 00:56:48.840
I'm stopping to text and call.

831
00:56:48.840 --> 00:56:50.560
I won't take her calls.

832
00:56:50.560 --> 00:56:52.280
And the two years have really helped

833
00:56:52.280 --> 00:56:58.040
me to be able to see that I was very afraid of my mom

834
00:56:58.040 --> 00:56:59.960
and deal with that.

835
00:56:59.960 --> 00:57:06.880
And also, what else came up was realizing forgiveness

836
00:57:06.880 --> 00:57:09.880
means letting go of her judgments of me.

837
00:57:09.880 --> 00:57:16.000
I didn't realize that I was living it out, you know?

838
00:57:16.000 --> 00:57:20.000
And so the two years have been real freedom.

839
00:57:20.000 --> 00:57:27.360
But then reading the hard work about seeing that boundaries

840
00:57:27.360 --> 00:57:32.640
are not to shut people out, but rather to keep me

841
00:57:32.640 --> 00:57:34.480
from their toxicity.

842
00:57:34.480 --> 00:57:41.080
So that's why I'm revisiting this thing about maybe I

843
00:57:41.080 --> 00:57:43.680
could just send her and my sister

844
00:57:43.680 --> 00:57:47.000
pictures of how I'm doing, you know?

845
00:57:47.000 --> 00:57:48.200
Just joy.

846
00:57:48.200 --> 00:57:51.560
And although, so I was considering that last week,

847
00:57:51.560 --> 00:57:54.240
and then I saw this text from her.

848
00:57:54.240 --> 00:57:56.600
So we are only in a group together, OK?

849
00:57:56.600 --> 00:58:02.120
My youngest sister is also, she tends towards the anger.

850
00:58:02.120 --> 00:58:05.880
So yeah, I'm the only one that's walking out a victim

851
00:58:05.880 --> 00:58:07.720
and saying, I have a voice, you know?

852
00:58:07.720 --> 00:58:09.320
And I'm not afraid.

853
00:58:09.320 --> 00:58:13.920
So last week, my mom wrote, Safree, I have always loved you.

854
00:58:13.920 --> 00:58:17.440
And I thought, oh my goodness, and there's the denial again.

855
00:58:18.160 --> 00:58:20.320
And I realize she's not going to change.

856
00:58:20.320 --> 00:58:21.840
I don't expect her to change.

857
00:58:21.840 --> 00:58:23.000
I forgive her.

858
00:58:23.000 --> 00:58:24.520
I release her.

859
00:58:24.520 --> 00:58:27.160
But so it's coming back on.

860
00:58:27.160 --> 00:58:33.160
Also, she's continuing to cause harm because she travels.

861
00:58:33.160 --> 00:58:34.320
Like, I went to Singapore.

862
00:58:34.320 --> 00:58:35.840
That's where she is.

863
00:58:35.840 --> 00:58:37.560
The ex went to Singapore.

864
00:58:37.560 --> 00:58:42.160
And she travels with him within a few days of my arrival.

865
00:58:42.160 --> 00:58:44.560
She knew I was coming, OK?

866
00:58:44.560 --> 00:58:45.200
So.

867
00:58:45.200 --> 00:58:46.720
Wait, she traveled with your ex?

868
00:58:46.720 --> 00:58:47.560
Is that what you just said?

869
00:58:47.560 --> 00:58:48.640
With the ex, yes.

870
00:58:48.640 --> 00:58:49.160
Yes.

871
00:58:49.160 --> 00:58:53.880
She said that the ex will always be my son-in-law,

872
00:58:53.880 --> 00:58:55.000
no matter what you do.

873
00:58:55.000 --> 00:58:59.240
This is when I left him because he caused a concussion, which

874
00:58:59.240 --> 00:59:01.160
was a wake-up call again.

875
00:59:01.160 --> 00:59:03.400
It was a gift, OK?

876
00:59:03.400 --> 00:59:05.640
And so, yeah.

877
00:59:05.640 --> 00:59:09.080
So knowing that she's, you know, and what the ex does

878
00:59:09.080 --> 00:59:12.960
is he sends photos of him and her on vacation

879
00:59:12.960 --> 00:59:17.000
to our common friends, who are no longer my common friends.

880
00:59:17.000 --> 00:59:22.480
Because the thought is, oh, poor, poor Victor.

881
00:59:22.480 --> 00:59:25.840
His wife had a concussion and can't think right.

882
00:59:25.840 --> 00:59:29.320
And so she left him, OK?

883
00:59:29.320 --> 00:59:30.960
So he's the victim.

884
00:59:30.960 --> 00:59:33.480
So in my reconnecting, am I saying

885
00:59:33.480 --> 00:59:36.680
it's OK what you're doing?

886
00:59:36.680 --> 00:59:39.760
But I know I can't change her.

887
00:59:39.760 --> 00:59:46.040
She's not open to, she's, yeah, I mean, she's in her 80s.

888
00:59:46.040 --> 00:59:47.480
She's 81.

889
00:59:47.480 --> 00:59:50.240
So that's the question.

890
00:59:50.240 --> 00:59:54.240
Am I saying, you know, I'm approving

891
00:59:54.240 --> 00:59:55.800
what you continue to do?

892
00:59:58.640 --> 01:00:01.280
Well, I think there's no.

893
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:06.180
a hard line here. Okay. I think that sometimes what you have to

894
01:00:06.180 --> 01:00:09.060
do is you have to test things out to see if someone has

895
01:00:09.060 --> 01:00:13.020
actually grown and healed. And I hear what you're saying. She's

896
01:00:13.020 --> 01:00:15.860
81. She may never change. And I think that's a realistic

897
01:00:15.860 --> 01:00:21.620
perspective. But I think the most important question is, what

898
01:00:21.720 --> 01:00:27.020
do you want to subject yourself to in the days ahead?

899
01:00:27.020 --> 01:00:33.160
Yes, I guess I know I can always pull back. It's the I

900
01:00:33.160 --> 01:00:37.040
guess my main question is, okay, so my adult children are

901
01:00:37.040 --> 01:00:40.760
saying, you cut off from all relationships within your birth

902
01:00:40.760 --> 01:00:46.160
family. Okay. Well, the two my mom and my sister, my brother

903
01:00:46.200 --> 01:00:50.240
got triggered. Yeah, recently. And so I remember your post

904
01:00:50.240 --> 01:00:54.760
about that. Yeah, yes. Yes. So these are my birth, you know,

905
01:00:54.760 --> 01:00:59.260
they knew I was very close to my dad. He passed, you know, and

906
01:00:59.260 --> 01:01:03.820
so yeah, there is this. Since your separation, you're not. I

907
01:01:03.820 --> 01:01:07.140
mean, they knew I was in contact with my brother. But they are

908
01:01:07.140 --> 01:01:12.100
close with your kids. So it's, it's a, it's a healing

909
01:01:12.100 --> 01:01:15.980
relationship. So at first, they were so angry at me for leaving

910
01:01:15.980 --> 01:01:22.980
him. Okay. And, yeah, and then he was speaking lies about how

911
01:01:22.980 --> 01:01:28.320
the division of assets when as if, yeah, anyway, so they were

912
01:01:28.320 --> 01:01:34.360
really angry at me. But that has, that has really eased my

913
01:01:34.360 --> 01:01:38.600
eldest, who is going, I'm going on vacation with my eldest

914
01:01:38.600 --> 01:01:43.200
family in a couple of weeks. So his wife makes a lot of

915
01:01:43.200 --> 01:01:47.760
difference, because she really understands this whole abuse

916
01:01:47.760 --> 01:01:52.480
thing and how her father in law is really manipulative and lies

917
01:01:52.540 --> 01:01:56.300
and okay, so she's the only one put someone in your corner

918
01:01:56.300 --> 01:02:00.540
there. Sounds like my daughter in love. So but the three

919
01:02:00.540 --> 01:02:04.220
others, it's work in progress. Yeah. And it has really

920
01:02:04.220 --> 01:02:07.980
progressed, you know, but it's gonna take Yeah, and it's only

921
01:02:07.980 --> 01:02:12.500
been two years. So that's still pretty new. And you're starting

922
01:02:12.500 --> 01:02:16.420
to see progress already. So that's good. So just to tell you,

923
01:02:16.420 --> 01:02:20.380
I left him six years ago. It just took a long time. Okay,

924
01:02:20.380 --> 01:02:23.440
because the concussion for the divorce and all that stuff. So

925
01:02:23.480 --> 01:02:23.960
yeah.

926
01:02:26.480 --> 01:02:32.040
Okay. Well, I think number one, if you're feeling like you want

927
01:02:32.040 --> 01:02:35.260
to give it a try, like I said, I think that's the best thing. If

928
01:02:35.260 --> 01:02:39.360
you're if you want to give it a try. I also want to just

929
01:02:39.360 --> 01:02:41.640
encourage you because one of the things that can happen is it

930
01:02:41.640 --> 01:02:43.440
sounds like you're setting healthy boundaries for

931
01:02:43.440 --> 01:02:50.020
yourself. Okay. But your kids are upset about it. And I just

932
01:02:50.020 --> 01:02:52.440
want to make sure you're not making a decision out of

933
01:02:52.440 --> 01:02:58.320
emotion because your kids are upset versus making the

934
01:02:58.320 --> 01:03:04.200
decision that really is best for you in this season. Okay. And

935
01:03:04.200 --> 01:03:08.280
again, it's not going to hurt you to try it. But one of the

936
01:03:08.280 --> 01:03:12.600
things that can get tricky is with boundaries, we want to

937
01:03:12.600 --> 01:03:17.920
always be very clear. And so if we go from like, okay, Mom, I'm

938
01:03:17.920 --> 01:03:21.420
going to cut off all texting and calling, okay, and we set

939
01:03:21.420 --> 01:03:26.580
that boundary. And then we go back, and then we start texting

940
01:03:26.620 --> 01:03:30.340
and calling. And then we're like, Oh, she's still not doing

941
01:03:30.340 --> 01:03:32.860
well. And then we switch right back, that can actually be very

942
01:03:32.860 --> 01:03:38.540
confusing for them. So I think maybe, you know, the biggest

943
01:03:38.540 --> 01:03:43.820
thing that we say is with anyone, when someone circles

944
01:03:43.820 --> 01:03:46.500
back, or you're trying to move forward in a relationship, you

945
01:03:46.500 --> 01:03:52.980
want to look at have they grown? What has changed? Since

946
01:03:52.980 --> 01:03:57.680
the last time you set the boundary? Okay. And if things

947
01:03:57.680 --> 01:04:00.000
haven't, it doesn't mean you have to like completely cut them

948
01:04:00.000 --> 01:04:04.640
out of your life, maybe you can write them a letter. Okay, so

949
01:04:04.640 --> 01:04:07.840
maybe texting and phone call is too much access on a regular

950
01:04:07.840 --> 01:04:11.800
basis, because in our society, people text, and what do we do

951
01:04:11.800 --> 01:04:13.760
immediately, we're looking at it, we're engaging with it,

952
01:04:14.420 --> 01:04:18.500
but a letter, y'all might be able to interact through a mail

953
01:04:18.540 --> 01:04:22.760
in the letter, a letter in the mail, a mail in the letter, a

954
01:04:22.760 --> 01:04:27.180
letter in the mail, you know, and if she writes you back

955
01:04:27.180 --> 01:04:29.600
quickly, that doesn't mean you have to write her right back,

956
01:04:29.600 --> 01:04:33.680
you might want to take a couple weeks, I think to me, that feels

957
01:04:33.680 --> 01:04:36.620
like a little bit, I know she's in Singapore, and it might take

958
01:04:36.620 --> 01:04:38.740
a little while for her to get it. But I don't know that that's

959
01:04:38.740 --> 01:04:43.180
a bad thing. Right? If you're just testing out, how can you

960
01:04:43.180 --> 01:04:46.320
guys actually interact with each other? And then guess what,

961
01:04:46.640 --> 01:04:49.280
then she's getting the letter directly. And it's not in a

962
01:04:49.280 --> 01:04:52.200
group message. Right?

963
01:04:52.240 --> 01:04:56.160
Well, it's in a group because I feel safer that there's a

964
01:04:56.160 --> 01:05:00.040
witness. Yeah, that's the only reason for that. But yeah.

965
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:06.080
I'm actually going back in February. I have, you know, business to take care of there.

966
01:05:07.360 --> 01:05:13.440
And I was there, Mother's Day, I called, she didn't pick up, which I was thankful. I showed up

967
01:05:13.440 --> 01:05:20.240
with roses and a gift. And she was thankful and, you know, but I could only stay a couple minutes,

968
01:05:20.240 --> 01:05:26.720
of course. I didn't want to. I think that's good. You're recognizing what you can handle.

969
01:05:26.720 --> 01:05:32.960
I think that's good. Okay. So again, not that you have to do a letter, but that might be a good

970
01:05:32.960 --> 01:05:39.840
start. You're going there in February. Maybe you can just say, Hey, Mom, like, you know, I'm still

971
01:05:39.840 --> 01:05:45.360
not sure. I'm open to texting and calling, but I wanted to send you a letter. And I thought maybe

972
01:05:45.360 --> 01:05:51.200
we could write a letter, you know, maybe once a month back and forth to each other before we come

973
01:05:51.760 --> 01:06:00.080
there. And just see how that goes. Because you can always keep a copy of the letter that you sent,

974
01:06:00.080 --> 01:06:06.160
if you feel like you need to have that proof or whatever. And I think that that to me seems like

975
01:06:06.160 --> 01:06:12.160
a good next step versus going right back into texting. Because again, if it doesn't work out,

976
01:06:12.160 --> 01:06:18.720
then it kind of gets into confusion and chaos a little bit. Right? Yeah. So maybe try that out

977
01:06:18.720 --> 01:06:23.440
and see kind of how that works. And you could even find cute cards where it would feel a little

978
01:06:23.440 --> 01:06:28.480
warmer and just write a note in it or whatever. And then if you want to take a picture of something

979
01:06:28.480 --> 01:06:33.760
that you're doing in your life and put that in there, you know, like it just depends on what

980
01:06:33.760 --> 01:06:39.600
you want to, how much access you want her to have to your life right now. Yeah. But pray about it

981
01:06:39.600 --> 01:06:44.960
too. Yeah. Pray about it too. And see what the Lord is leading you to do. Okay. Thanks for

982
01:06:45.680 --> 01:06:49.360
that. You're welcome. Appreciate it. Yeah. Yeah. We're praying for you.

983
01:06:49.360 --> 01:06:53.280
Look forward to hearing how that goes. Thank you so much. Sarah, go ahead.

984
01:06:55.840 --> 01:07:04.160
Hey, Bethany. Good to see you. Good to see you too. Good to see everybody. So one follow up

985
01:07:04.160 --> 01:07:09.040
about the sisters thing. I definitely feel convicted about that. So something that I feel

986
01:07:09.200 --> 01:07:16.560
like I need to work on. And the other thing is, I have a date with somebody on Saturday.

987
01:07:16.560 --> 01:07:27.360
His name is Karate Kid. I started to write about him yesterday. And I had to set up a boundary with

988
01:07:27.360 --> 01:07:33.920
him on because he said we were going to video chat on Saturday. And then he didn't show up.

989
01:07:33.920 --> 01:07:40.480
And he stood me up. And that really hurt. And then he messaged me yesterday, Monday, saying,

990
01:07:40.480 --> 01:07:45.520
Hey, you know, you didn't say anything either. He's like, I chose to go out on Saturday night,

991
01:07:45.520 --> 01:07:51.840
and you didn't say anything either. And, and then he said, Do you want to video chat tonight? And so

992
01:07:51.840 --> 01:08:00.320
then I said, You stood me up. Number one, number two is that, you know, last time we talked,

993
01:08:00.320 --> 01:08:05.600
you said we you were gonna, you wanted me to call you for the phone convo, but I which I did.

994
01:08:05.600 --> 01:08:12.640
And then I assumed you were gonna then therefore, you know, in, you know, call me for the, for the

995
01:08:12.640 --> 01:08:17.920
video chat. And then I so I said, and then he started like making a weird joke. And then I was

996
01:08:17.920 --> 01:08:23.840
like, I was like, all you need to do is apologize, you know, an apology is all that's needed. And

997
01:08:23.840 --> 01:08:29.279
he's like, I'm sorry. And then, so I appreciate he did apologize. And I said, I'm just recognizing,

998
01:08:29.279 --> 01:08:34.080
acknowledging that what you you know, that you didn't show up. And that, you know, that hurt.

999
01:08:34.080 --> 01:08:38.240
And so he did acknowledge that. And then he made a Yeah, so his joke was really weird. And maybe

1000
01:08:38.240 --> 01:08:44.880
all it was kind of colorful. And I don't quite know if I should bring up right now. But which

1001
01:08:44.880 --> 01:08:49.520
I will address to him, because it was like, that was really on top of you not showing up. And then

1002
01:08:49.520 --> 01:08:53.680
you made this really weird joke. So it was very like, what is going on? Was it sexual? Or what?

1003
01:08:53.680 --> 01:09:01.040
What was it? It's kind of a sadomasochist. Where he's like, you can bound me up. And you can like

1004
01:09:01.040 --> 01:09:08.399
with me and you can like, subdue me. I just like, what is going on? So it was very Yeah. So that was

1005
01:09:08.399 --> 01:09:13.520
like, what did he say that after? Like, was that part of a conversation? Or was it just out of the

1006
01:09:13.520 --> 01:09:18.240
blue? apologizing? Like, he didn't apologize. He kind of said that I could do that. Like,

1007
01:09:18.880 --> 01:09:23.840
and because karate we like he likes martial arts. I used to do martial arts. So and I was like,

1008
01:09:23.840 --> 01:09:28.560
really, is that your way to apologize? I said, actually, an apology is would be more appropriate.

1009
01:09:28.560 --> 01:09:34.880
Like, you know, and then he said, so after he apologized, he's like, it was a joke.

1010
01:09:34.880 --> 01:09:38.319
Lighten up, like, take a chill pill. And I'm just like, Oh, my gosh, like,

1011
01:09:38.319 --> 01:09:44.560
okay, so I don't love how this guy's talking to you. Okay. Number one, I just don't like it.

1012
01:09:45.359 --> 01:09:52.240
Yeah. As your big sis, as your big sis. Yeah, for him to say take a chill pill. And that's,

1013
01:09:52.240 --> 01:09:56.000
that's to me is disrespectful. You're actually saying to him, hey,

1014
01:09:57.280 --> 01:09:59.840
it hurt my feelings that you didn't show up.

1015
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:07.400
I'm just asking for an apology and then he's trying to do an off-color joke, you know, remember back to our self-protection mechanisms

1016
01:10:07.600 --> 01:10:11.460
He's probably feeling it doesn't make it. Okay, but I'm just trying to unpack this a little bit

1017
01:10:12.960 --> 01:10:14.960
He's turning to humor

1018
01:10:15.240 --> 01:10:19.440
Right as a self-protection mechanism because you're calling him out on what?

1019
01:10:20.320 --> 01:10:22.920
not doing something that he said he would do and

1020
01:10:23.800 --> 01:10:28.120
Then he starts saying take a chill pill and all that don't love that

1021
01:10:28.120 --> 01:10:30.780
No, that doesn't mean I'm saying don't go on the date

1022
01:10:31.360 --> 01:10:36.600
Right. I think go on the date but pay close like just keep not like when I say pay close attention

1023
01:10:36.600 --> 01:10:39.840
I'm not saying go in suspicious, but I'm saying okay

1024
01:10:40.280 --> 01:10:43.800
We're noticing some things that I'm not saying they're red

1025
01:10:43.800 --> 01:10:49.560
I'm saying there's some yellow flags here and I'm not liking how he's talking to you. Maybe he was just in an off mood

1026
01:10:50.040 --> 01:10:55.000
We're gonna give him the benefit of the doubt right now. Okay, but we're gonna get more information

1027
01:10:55.760 --> 01:10:57.760
Go on the date

1028
01:10:57.920 --> 01:11:01.280
Because I even said to him I said if you're in the state of masochism

1029
01:11:04.300 --> 01:11:05.520
Like

1030
01:11:05.520 --> 01:11:10.440
You can I said that's not my thing. You can find somebody else to talk to who's into that

1031
01:11:10.440 --> 01:11:16.880
I said that's not my thing and then he goes I was joking like I was lightening the mood like take a chill pill relax

1032
01:11:20.640 --> 01:11:24.960
I don't think it's an accident that I was here today and I told you the wiener dog story

1033
01:11:25.880 --> 01:11:30.280
No, because that's what that guy tried to do too. He tried to make it like I was

1034
01:11:31.440 --> 01:11:36.280
Blowing it out of proportion and that he never said it the way I took it

1035
01:11:36.400 --> 01:11:40.280
The guy asked me if I wanted to see his wiener. That's what he did

1036
01:11:40.600 --> 01:11:43.480
Okay, and then when I called him out on it

1037
01:11:43.480 --> 01:11:48.040
That's when he tried to backpedal and act like I was making something out of nothing

1038
01:11:48.280 --> 01:11:52.760
So again, I just want you to pay attention. You're discerning. Well, okay

1039
01:11:53.000 --> 01:11:57.000
Um, you said your date is on Saturday, what are you guys gonna go do?

1040
01:11:57.800 --> 01:12:01.480
What do you want to do for a date and I'm out in public

1041
01:12:02.440 --> 01:12:04.440
Public exactly. Yeah

1042
01:12:05.320 --> 01:12:10.200
Because of our karate connection in a way like he's I think really obsessed about karate

1043
01:12:10.200 --> 01:12:13.960
And I even brought that up about on our video chat. We did have a video chat last night

1044
01:12:14.640 --> 01:12:17.200
And I was like bringing it up about him, you know

1045
01:12:17.200 --> 01:12:20.720
Maybe you need to get him and this is my second time mentioning as I also mentioned texting

1046
01:12:20.720 --> 01:12:22.720
Maybe you need to get into like a martial arts

1047
01:12:22.720 --> 01:12:26.400
Class that kind of thing and then he's like, well, what do you want to do for a first date?

1048
01:12:26.400 --> 01:12:28.400
so I was actually caught car cuz I'm like

1049
01:12:29.000 --> 01:12:31.000
karate, of course

1050
01:12:31.640 --> 01:12:33.640
Cuz the people pleasing in me

1051
01:12:34.120 --> 01:12:39.160
So when you mentioned about the people pleasing I wrote it down, but I'm like having a hard time seeing it right now

1052
01:12:39.160 --> 01:12:41.880
But you mentioned about the people pleasing and I was like dang it

1053
01:12:41.880 --> 01:12:48.440
I do like I people please like I so and he wants me to teach him what I learned from karate because I did it

1054
01:12:49.200 --> 01:12:52.440
Okay, I'm gonna help you I'm gonna help you on a couple things here I

1055
01:12:53.080 --> 01:12:56.520
Really think that you need to shift what you're gonna do for the date

1056
01:12:56.520 --> 01:12:59.200
I don't think you guys need to do karate together

1057
01:12:59.200 --> 01:13:04.120
That means you're touching and physical and and I get it you guys both love karate

1058
01:13:04.120 --> 01:13:09.840
but I think that's gonna take you to that direction that you're trying to redirect him from right now and

1059
01:13:10.480 --> 01:13:17.400
So I would encourage you just to say hey, you know, I was thinking more about it. What if we go, you know, I

1060
01:13:18.120 --> 01:13:18.680
Don't know

1061
01:13:18.680 --> 01:13:24.160
Is there some kind of fun thing that would be public that you guys can do you get to know him outside of knowing?

1062
01:13:24.360 --> 01:13:26.960
Karate get to know another side of him

1063
01:13:28.000 --> 01:13:29.760
You know, right?

1064
01:13:29.760 --> 01:13:33.520
Yeah, like I don't know if you guys have like I don't even know if you like this kind of thing

1065
01:13:33.520 --> 01:13:39.160
But like a Dave and Buster's or some kind of where there's like games and you're in public you can do

1066
01:13:39.160 --> 01:13:45.400
You know, some people will do miniature golf. Some people will go bowling, you know where there's something that you're doing

1067
01:13:46.400 --> 01:13:52.640
Where you're learning how someone handles activities and fun things you can have a little bite to eat there

1068
01:13:54.240 --> 01:13:57.640
That's a great idea Dave and Buster's is a great idea and last night

1069
01:13:57.640 --> 01:14:03.640
I was totally regretting that I had brought up like my idea was like hey, let's do a self-defense class with a teacher professional

1070
01:14:03.760 --> 01:14:08.760
but he's like no and he kind of wormed his way to me being the teacher and I'm like because he really wants me to

1071
01:14:08.760 --> 01:14:10.760
teach him and then I'm just like

1072
01:14:11.480 --> 01:14:13.480
You

1073
01:14:13.720 --> 01:14:15.160
For like

1074
01:14:15.160 --> 01:14:19.240
Punching and kicking showing him how to put your cake and I'm just like how did I get myself in wrapped up into this?

1075
01:14:19.240 --> 01:14:20.680
Because I'm a people pleaser

1076
01:14:20.680 --> 01:14:25.360
Yeah, well one of the other things too. I want you to recognize here too. And this is for everyone but just

1077
01:14:26.760 --> 01:14:31.760
So when we get and I'm not saying we can't ever teach, you know our guys stuff

1078
01:14:32.400 --> 01:14:35.000
But you want to be on a date?

1079
01:14:35.880 --> 01:14:42.640
Exactly you want to be pursued in the divine feminine you want to establish yourself at some point if this guy is

1080
01:14:42.960 --> 01:14:45.640
Good, and you continue to get to know him as girlfriend

1081
01:14:45.920 --> 01:14:52.800
Not as teacher and even when you kind of said to him. Hey, I think you should get into this. Try not to mom him

1082
01:14:53.320 --> 01:14:54.640
Okay

1083
01:14:54.640 --> 01:14:56.640
let him be who he is and

1084
01:14:57.120 --> 01:14:59.320
Then you get to know him and decide

1085
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:03.360
Do you like who he is? Do you want to date this person?

1086
01:15:03.360 --> 01:15:10.160
Versus trying to change him or like, just try to avoid language of telling them,

1087
01:15:10.160 --> 01:15:12.960
hey, you should do this, you should do that, because that's us.

1088
01:15:12.960 --> 01:15:19.360
We step right into the mom leading and now he's wanting you to teach him how to do karate.

1089
01:15:19.360 --> 01:15:23.680
And I'm not saying you can't ever do that, but you guys don't even know each other.

1090
01:15:24.800 --> 01:15:25.300
Exactly.

1091
01:15:26.260 --> 01:15:32.980
So let's get to know each other. Low stakes. You're not letting him know all, you know,

1092
01:15:32.980 --> 01:15:36.900
a lot of different, you know, really, I mean, that to me is a very, like,

1093
01:15:36.900 --> 01:15:41.940
if you're teaching someone to karate, they're up close, you know, that's a lot of intimate connection.

1094
01:15:42.980 --> 01:15:48.260
And so just kind of laugh and have fun. And, and, you know, Sarah, I think one of the things,

1095
01:15:49.220 --> 01:15:53.620
give yourself a lot of grace because learning how to come out of people pleasing just takes time.

1096
01:15:53.700 --> 01:15:58.180
And it doesn't mean you're never gonna struggle with it ever again. There's times where I'm like,

1097
01:15:59.220 --> 01:16:02.820
shoot, I just totally did that. Just trying to make everybody happy.

1098
01:16:03.460 --> 01:16:08.500
Yeah, I don't need to do that anymore. You know, so it just takes, it just takes time.

1099
01:16:08.500 --> 01:16:14.020
You've learned how to people please most of your life. So learning how to come out of that.

1100
01:16:14.020 --> 01:16:17.940
It's all right. Just give yourself grace. And hey, here's the thing.

1101
01:16:18.900 --> 01:16:26.660
If it's your spirit mate, you cannot ruin this. Okay. Don't feel like you have to just do

1102
01:16:26.660 --> 01:16:34.020
everything he wants or interact in certain ways to make him happy or think that you're good.

1103
01:16:34.820 --> 01:16:41.300
Yeah, you're already good. Thank you. You are already worth pursuing. You're already worth

1104
01:16:41.300 --> 01:16:46.980
someone asking you on a date. If he made a mistake and forgot about the video chat,

1105
01:16:47.060 --> 01:16:51.780
okay, fine. He should apologize without you asking him to do so.

1106
01:16:53.140 --> 01:16:58.580
Yeah. Yeah. So then if you want to do another like video chat without addressing what happened,

1107
01:16:58.580 --> 01:17:04.180
I mean, should I have just done it and just been like, extend him grace and bring it up?

1108
01:17:05.220 --> 01:17:10.340
No, I don't think there's anything wrong with you mentioning that. Hey, the one thing you did say

1109
01:17:10.340 --> 01:17:14.100
though, that I want to kind of bring up real quick. And then I want to, I'll probably need

1110
01:17:15.060 --> 01:17:22.820
to go over to Jennifer just for time. But when you said, I think you said it and I don't know

1111
01:17:22.820 --> 01:17:28.100
if I heard it right, but I think you said to him, I assumed that you were going to video me.

1112
01:17:29.460 --> 01:17:34.820
Yeah. Well, ladies, we don't ever want to assume anything because you know what it makes out of us?

1113
01:17:34.820 --> 01:17:41.940
You know the saying, right? Because guess what happens when we assume then when they don't do

1114
01:17:41.940 --> 01:17:50.180
what we assumed, we get mad at them versus us clarifying. Okay. Are you going to, so sorry guys,

1115
01:17:50.180 --> 01:17:55.700
I'm still getting over sickness. Are you going to video me? And if so, what time are we going to do

1116
01:17:55.700 --> 01:18:02.660
that at? You know, let him take the lead, set the time to the best of your ability. Some guys are

1117
01:18:02.660 --> 01:18:07.940
going to be like, Hey, I just sound like a spontaneous guy. I want to fly by the seat of

1118
01:18:07.940 --> 01:18:13.860
my pants. Nope. Watch Jackie's Instagram. Those are not the guys you want to try to spend time on

1119
01:18:13.860 --> 01:18:17.940
because you want a guy that knows what he wants. When I messaged Brian,

1120
01:18:19.620 --> 01:18:23.620
you want to know what happened? He's like, when do you want to video chat?

1121
01:18:23.620 --> 01:18:28.420
When do you want to get together? Hey, let's get together on this date. I didn't have to

1122
01:18:29.300 --> 01:18:35.700
be the one figuring it all out. Right. We did it as a team together, but he, he definitely

1123
01:18:36.260 --> 01:18:43.780
knew what he wanted and was not afraid to pursue me. Okay. Yeah. So that's ultimately what you're

1124
01:18:43.780 --> 01:18:51.220
trying to go towards. Some men it takes a little longer, but let's see, let's get to know him.

1125
01:18:51.220 --> 01:18:55.460
I do really genuinely want to encourage you to not do the karate thing for this date,

1126
01:18:56.180 --> 01:19:00.340
message him and just, it's okay to say, you don't have to go into the full explanation.

1127
01:19:00.340 --> 01:19:04.260
Just say, Hey, I thought more about this. I still would really enjoy to go on a date.

1128
01:19:05.060 --> 01:19:10.820
I would love to go do this instead. What do you think about that? And just see what he says. And

1129
01:19:10.820 --> 01:19:15.380
if he balks at that and keeps pushing back towards the karate, that's him pushing a boundary that

1130
01:19:15.380 --> 01:19:21.700
you're setting. Yeah. Okay. Thank you. You're welcome. You guys, this is so good. Jennifer,

1131
01:19:21.700 --> 01:19:31.300
go ahead. Hey so to kind of go off the inadequacy a little bit, it was something that came up

1132
01:19:31.300 --> 01:19:37.780
recently where I've had this, uh, apparently this lens about myself since like deep roots

1133
01:19:37.780 --> 01:19:45.300
from childhood and the alopecia and everything. So others, I'm still not pushing on that too much

1134
01:19:45.300 --> 01:19:51.460
with the revealing for healing, but with what you're talking about with the divine feminine

1135
01:19:51.460 --> 01:19:57.940
and still trying to figure out how that is. Cause being, doing a lot of things on my own for so

1136
01:19:57.940 --> 01:19:59.860
long and just being strong naturally.

1137
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:03.960
me as second nature.

1138
01:20:03.960 --> 01:20:08.400
Ever since I started in this program, thinking through what is that?

1139
01:20:08.400 --> 01:20:11.360
How do I even know if I am being feminine?

1140
01:20:11.360 --> 01:20:16.960
I feel like because I have been strong for so long by myself, I don't even recognize

1141
01:20:16.960 --> 01:20:17.960
it anymore.

1142
01:20:17.960 --> 01:20:22.780
Then I am having moments too where I am trying to think am I being God defended?

1143
01:20:22.780 --> 01:20:26.200
How do I know I am being God defended when it doesn't feel like it where I am trying

1144
01:20:26.200 --> 01:20:29.980
not to push things on my own.

1145
01:20:29.980 --> 01:20:36.180
Still struggling with those things and with this new revealing of how a lot of the roots

1146
01:20:36.180 --> 01:20:45.140
from growing up and father abandonment, bullying, alopecia, birth, this inadequacy lens, I am

1147
01:20:45.140 --> 01:20:49.260
still processing through a lot of it.

1148
01:20:49.260 --> 01:20:55.780
I think if I were to ask you what is the first question, what is the main thing you want

1149
01:20:55.780 --> 01:20:56.980
to get out of the coaching today?

1150
01:20:56.980 --> 01:21:05.900
I want to make sure I am on the same page with what you are needing clarity on.

1151
01:21:05.900 --> 01:21:11.740
I think just keeping it with what is being discussed, the divine feminine.

1152
01:21:11.740 --> 01:21:17.460
I feel like with some of the scriptures you gave, I have been told I am those things.

1153
01:21:17.460 --> 01:21:25.740
But sometimes just because I am used to being so strong naturally, I don't feel girly if

1154
01:21:25.740 --> 01:21:26.740
that makes sense.

1155
01:21:27.500 --> 01:21:31.860
I am not really sure if I am always in my divine feminine, especially since I don't

1156
01:21:31.860 --> 01:21:34.940
know what that feels like naturally.

1157
01:21:34.940 --> 01:21:44.860
Some of this, I will say Jennifer, some of it will become more clear as you enter a relationship.

1158
01:21:44.860 --> 01:21:47.860
Because certain things are going to happen where you are going to go on a date, they

1159
01:21:47.860 --> 01:21:52.420
are going to want to hold the door for you, they might want to carry your food box for

1160
01:21:52.420 --> 01:21:58.940
you, where you are going to be able to practice holding back that I can do it myself.

1161
01:21:58.940 --> 01:22:03.860
You guys remember when I used to say, I can carry my own food box?

1162
01:22:03.860 --> 01:22:07.060
Brian takes great pride.

1163
01:22:07.060 --> 01:22:09.060
He loves to carry my food box.

1164
01:22:09.060 --> 01:22:12.020
He loves to open doors for me.

1165
01:22:12.020 --> 01:22:14.420
Sometimes I will be like, why did you do that?

1166
01:22:14.420 --> 01:22:18.500
He is like, because I am trying to be chivalrous.

1167
01:22:18.500 --> 01:22:21.060
It just matters to them.

1168
01:22:21.300 --> 01:22:27.180
Some of it, I think you are already practicing what you can practice in the divine feminine.

1169
01:22:27.180 --> 01:22:32.380
As you enter a relationship, whether it is going on a date, even some of the conversations

1170
01:22:32.380 --> 01:22:38.420
and chat, getting to practice letting them be the leader, I think that will be a really

1171
01:22:38.420 --> 01:22:44.460
good practice for you.

1172
01:22:44.460 --> 01:22:49.460
Even when you are out in public, and you might already do this, I am not sure, I really want

1173
01:22:49.460 --> 01:22:54.100
to encourage you to let everybody open doors for you, men and women alike.

1174
01:22:54.100 --> 01:22:57.980
I have been working on that.

1175
01:22:57.980 --> 01:23:04.420
I remember even, I think, weren't you one of the ones, I can't remember if you, I feel

1176
01:23:04.420 --> 01:23:07.620
like maybe it was someone else, now that I want to say that, but when you were doing,

1177
01:23:07.620 --> 01:23:12.140
we did this practice a little bit in the heart work where you started asking people for help

1178
01:23:12.140 --> 01:23:13.620
instead of just doing it yourself.

1179
01:23:13.620 --> 01:23:18.660
I think that any time, I started doing that too, even just before the heart work, because

1180
01:23:18.660 --> 01:23:25.060
I was a part of the first book club with the book Married in 12 Months or Less.

1181
01:23:25.060 --> 01:23:28.420
I had already started practicing that.

1182
01:23:28.420 --> 01:23:33.380
Even now, when someone in the office offers to help me, I say yes.

1183
01:23:33.380 --> 01:23:37.300
I think the more that you are doing that, I think those are all great preparations,

1184
01:23:37.300 --> 01:23:38.300
Jennifer.

1185
01:23:38.300 --> 01:23:39.780
I think you are on the right path.

1186
01:23:39.780 --> 01:23:41.660
Just keep doing those things.

1187
01:23:41.660 --> 01:23:48.300
Again, I am strong too, and I had to take care of myself most of my life.

1188
01:23:48.300 --> 01:23:51.980
I did have people that took care of me too.

1189
01:23:51.980 --> 01:23:57.740
One of the things for me in practicing being soft was also recognizing the people that

1190
01:23:57.740 --> 01:24:00.220
were there for me along the way.

1191
01:24:00.220 --> 01:24:05.020
Instead of partnering with, I just had to do everything myself.

1192
01:24:05.020 --> 01:24:11.360
I think where I struggled with it recently was where I currently live, my landlord does

1193
01:24:11.360 --> 01:24:15.820
not hold up his end of the bargain with taking care of the apartment.

1194
01:24:15.820 --> 01:24:21.100
The washer dryer machine died, and I had to have the conversation of, if you are not

1195
01:24:21.100 --> 01:24:25.260
going to do it, I am going to replace it, and it is not going to be in the rent, and

1196
01:24:25.260 --> 01:24:29.420
you cannot sue me for it, because I can prove it in the contract that I signed with you.

1197
01:24:29.420 --> 01:24:32.380
Going through this whole monologue, and I am dealing with two men.

1198
01:24:32.380 --> 01:24:37.660
That is not, I do not think there is anything wrong with that.

1199
01:24:37.660 --> 01:24:40.380
That is not you not being divine feminine.

1200
01:24:40.380 --> 01:24:45.740
That took you having to stand up, because you are, unfortunately ladies, when we are

1201
01:24:45.740 --> 01:24:52.140
single, there are going to be times where we do have to step into that divine masculine

1202
01:24:52.140 --> 01:24:55.740
a little bit, if you will, but we just do not want to stay there.

1203
01:24:57.100 --> 01:24:58.220
It does not sound like you are.

1204
01:24:58.220 --> 01:24:59.900
It sounds like you are practicing on coming back.

1205
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:05.040
out of that. But in that situation, you know, you needed that landlord to do what he said,

1206
01:25:05.680 --> 01:25:10.640
you needed to let him know like, hey, this is not going to be in my rent. And you're you can't do

1207
01:25:10.640 --> 01:25:15.280
anything because you needed to repair that. And you didn't. You're holding him to what he said

1208
01:25:15.280 --> 01:25:19.760
he would do. Okay. So I don't think that that means you weren't walking in divine feminine.

1209
01:25:19.760 --> 01:25:25.600
So I hope that that comforts you a little bit. It does. Yeah, sometimes we have to stand up for

1210
01:25:25.600 --> 01:25:34.400
ourselves. And but what you might want to consider doing is, if there is a man in your life,

1211
01:25:35.680 --> 01:25:41.440
that you could have invited into that maybe he's a brother, maybe he's a friend to say, hey, I'm

1212
01:25:41.440 --> 01:25:45.280
having a really hard time with this landlord. He's not doing what he's supposed to be doing.

1213
01:25:46.000 --> 01:25:50.720
Like, hey, could you come and partner with me in this and just have my back? I'm not saying you

1214
01:25:50.720 --> 01:25:56.320
have to do that. But you might want to consider if there are times where having a man stand up for

1215
01:25:56.320 --> 01:26:02.400
you. Do you understand what I'm saying? Yeah, I'm sure. And it might not have been possible in that

1216
01:26:02.400 --> 01:26:06.880
situation. But there might be opportunities in the future that you can invite someone to kind

1217
01:26:06.880 --> 01:26:11.280
of come in and have your back on that. And maybe even a married friend whose husband,

1218
01:26:11.280 --> 01:26:15.120
like one time, this is just a small example, when I first moved into my new apartment.

1219
01:26:15.280 --> 01:26:23.440
When I first moved into my apartment, I needed something hung. And so my I asked my best friend's

1220
01:26:23.440 --> 01:26:28.320
husband if he would come do it. And he did. And then one day, I went out to go to work and my

1221
01:26:28.320 --> 01:26:33.280
battery was dead in my car. And I didn't know who else to call. So I messaged my best friend and

1222
01:26:33.280 --> 01:26:37.840
said, Hey, can I call your hubby? Because I don't know what else to do. And I did, you know, she

1223
01:26:37.840 --> 01:26:42.480
said yes. And so I did. And I let him come to the rescue. And he did. And that was that was

1224
01:26:42.480 --> 01:26:46.640
and I let him come to the rescue. And he did. And that was awesome. It was hard.

1225
01:26:46.640 --> 01:26:50.720
It's hard to receive help sometimes. But I genuinely knew there was nothing else I could

1226
01:26:50.720 --> 01:26:54.960
do. And I needed I needed a guy to help me because I didn't know how to fix that battery

1227
01:26:54.960 --> 01:27:01.440
situation. You know, I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah. So it's sometimes like that some things I just could

1228
01:27:01.440 --> 01:27:06.000
do on my own. And I just did them on my own. But sometimes I invited other people into that process

1229
01:27:06.000 --> 01:27:13.040
for me. Okay. Yeah. Such great questions, ladies. It's been a good afternoon. Again, I know we I did

1230
01:27:13.040 --> 01:27:17.440
a little extra teaching today. But I just I kept praying this morning. And I felt like those were

1231
01:27:17.440 --> 01:27:23.600
some good things for us to chat about and get out there. And just know that hopefully, you know,

1232
01:27:23.600 --> 01:27:29.120
like I said, Carla will be back next week, pray for her. You know, sickness is going around all

1233
01:27:29.120 --> 01:27:32.880
over. She had it in her house. And she was hoping she wouldn't catch it from the kids. But

1234
01:27:32.880 --> 01:27:38.640
unfortunately, she did. But she'll be back next Tuesday at one if if she gets better, hopefully

1235
01:27:38.640 --> 01:27:43.520
that will be the case. And then tonight, you guys have that sneak peek to phase three. So definitely

1236
01:27:43.520 --> 01:27:50.480
check that out, break out of the limerence loop. And man, I can't wait to see if I'm not on live,

1237
01:27:50.480 --> 01:27:54.480
I'll definitely catch that replay. Because even myself, I think the limerence loop can get us

1238
01:27:54.480 --> 01:27:59.760
caught up in all kinds of things, not even just relationship, right? Some of us get stuck in jobs

1239
01:27:59.840 --> 01:28:04.960
dreaming about other jobs, and we never get out of that. So praying for you all excited to see you

1240
01:28:04.960 --> 01:28:11.360
all, you know, some of you all right now that are not in a relationship yet, remember the word yet

1241
01:28:11.360 --> 01:28:17.200
that is going to be your friend. Before long, you're going to meet somebody and they're going

1242
01:28:17.200 --> 01:28:23.520
to be really great. Okay, keep believing, keep hanging on. And remember, it's one in perfect

1243
01:28:23.520 --> 01:28:28.720
action. Take one in perfect action, and keep moving forward. Father, thank you so much for

1244
01:28:28.720 --> 01:28:33.680
these amazing ladies. Thank you, God, for their love stories. God, we just thank you that you'll

1245
01:28:33.680 --> 01:28:39.760
help them to continue to surrender the pen to you. God, that they will choose you and allow

1246
01:28:39.760 --> 01:28:44.640
you to lead them as the good shepherd. God, help them to see the ways that they're still

1247
01:28:44.640 --> 01:28:50.160
struggling to trust you to write their love story really well. I pray for those that maybe haven't

1248
01:28:50.160 --> 01:28:54.880
had interaction on the app yet. And anybody that's feeling discouraged, even if they've been on the

1249
01:28:54.880 --> 01:28:59.200
apps, God, I pray that you would encourage them. Those that are afraid to step into dating, pray

1250
01:28:59.200 --> 01:29:03.200
that you would just continue to heal them and help them to step out of their comfort zone.

1251
01:29:03.200 --> 01:29:07.760
And Lord, to step further into the plan that you have for them. God, we ask for fun interactions

1252
01:29:07.760 --> 01:29:12.960
on the apps, help them to have good experiences, help them to meet some really great men.

1253
01:29:12.960 --> 01:29:16.800
We thank you for helping take them one step further to their spirit mate and their spirit

1254
01:29:16.800 --> 01:29:22.400
mate one step closer to them. We just thank you in advance for all of these things in Jesus name.

1255
01:29:22.400 --> 01:29:28.480
Amen. God bless you all. Have an amazing day, everyone. Take care. Bye-bye.