WEBVTT

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Welcome back for those of you that are just joining.

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Maybe tonight is your first night ever.

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If you've never been to a live session before, let us know.

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This is your first time.

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If you're here for the first time, welcome.

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We're so glad that you're here with us tonight.

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All right.

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We have a couple of people in Texas, Texas, Texas.

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I love it.

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Dayton, Ohio, Gaithersburg, Maryland, Berkeley, California.

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Oh, just for dinner.

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Oh, yeah.

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Well, Lisa, New Jersey.

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We got Colorado.

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All right.

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New York, Oregon, Tampa, Sherry.

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I'm in Fort Myers, Florida.

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Now I used to live in Ohio grip there.

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San Diego.

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All right.

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Awesome.

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It's so good to know kind of where people are joining us from.

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Little Rock, Arkansas, it just blesses my heart.

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Sometimes to pause and just like look at where God is drawing people from, you

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know, the north, south, east and west and how he's bringing people together.

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It's really a blessing to see that.

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Caitlin says she'll be in Fort Myers.

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That's awesome.

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It's really amazing here.

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We've been here for a little over two years.

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My name is Bethany Cooper for those of you that are brand new.

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I'm one of the master heart coaches here in the community.

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Y'all also we will hear from Andrea Jeslenick and Kelly Stotler on your post.

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Andrea does lead our live sessions on Mondays at one as well.

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They're additional heart recordches here in the community.

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And we're so glad to have them on our team as well.

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And so if you're rejoining tonight, you've been here before.

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Welcome back.

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It's so good to see you as always.

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Let's come on camera if we can.

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It's so great to see those of you.

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Alan and Ricky and Michelle already on camera.

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Good to see you all.

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If you can come on camera again, remember we're practicing coming out of

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hiding or practicing letting ourselves to be seen known and loved.

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However, we show up.

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Okay.

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Now I will give you a little tip.

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When you start dating and you move into the other phases of our community.

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When you come to coed events, ladies, as much as you can,

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come like you're going on a date.

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Even if there's no men in our community that you end up matching with,

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my husband wasn't in the community and I am super blessed.

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But I showed up on sessions with my hair done like I was going on a date.

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And you know why because Jackie told us the same thing I'm telling you how we

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show up matters.

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Okay.

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And so when you guys get into future phases, they'll also do coaching on like

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your background, what to consider when you're doing online dating,

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all that kind of stuff.

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Now some of you are going to meet your spirit mate one day in person.

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It's going to be amazing.

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But a lot of you percentage wise in the world today, most people are meeting

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online.

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They are and so we'll give you tips on how to like work on your background,

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what colors look best on you, how to, you know, work on your lighting.

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Let me give you a little tip, even though we're not doing dating.

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I just thought of this, but this is kind of fun.

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Hold on one second.

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Y'all see this ring light.

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It's your friend.

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Okay.

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Jackie told us about this and I've had one ever since and I use it now back then

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I used it for dating online, but now I use it for coaching.

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If you've never used one before, super inexpensive on Amazon, you can find them.

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So that's your tip for tonight, even though we're not doing dating coaching

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here, but that's just for fun.

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So maybe consider doing some of those kinds of things just even to prepare your

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heart, even if you don't date right away.

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You're kind of preparing your heart for like, Hey, I'm getting ready to move

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into this season when my heart work is finished.

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If you didn't know, we asked you to press pause on dating when you're here

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in the heart work for some of you.

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You just came out of the modern dating sex book club and you're like, wait,

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I was practicing talking about dating and doing all this stuff.

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And now I have to halt.

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Yep.

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We're going to ask you to do that.

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You'll regain momentum.

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So don't worry about it.

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You're not going to miss out on your spirit, mate.

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I promise.

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And but lean into the heart work and let God do what he does best.

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All right.

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On that note, a couple of other things.

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I try to remind you all of this often just because we all need the reminder.

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So whether you've been in counseling, maybe some of you have been in ministry,

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maybe some of you have gotten counseling a lot or coached a lot.

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What can happen is we then turn into people that are always helping

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everybody else everywhere we go.

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And we forget to put the oxygen mask on ourself and let God work in us first.

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So the message for you tonight is you get to take take your hat.

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Oh my gosh, your helper hats off when you're here.

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Okay, so you all don't need to counsel each other, advise each other.

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Whether that's in the group, no one's been doing this.

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You guys have been doing amazing, but this is just a regular reminder.

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And even when we do breakouts, sometimes people will feel just really

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bad if someone shares something super vulnerable and then it will cause them

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to shift in trying to help that person.

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Y'all don't have to do that.

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So the best response is thank you so much for trusting us with your story.

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And then the next person shares.

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to let it out without feeling like somebody's going to try to fix them. So it makes sense, everyone.

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Right? That's one of the ways we create a safe environment here in our community, and it works

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really, really well. If you haven't heard Supernatural Saturday yet, definitely check that out. And it's

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amazing and all the things. All right, let's see. Last one is if you haven't done an introduction

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post, please do that. So picture of yourself that you love, tell us a little bit about yourself,

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what brought you here to last your single, maybe a couple of your favorite things, because what you

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might find even tonight, several of you are in different parts of Texas, but you know, you're

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starting to see where people are from a little bit. When people do introduction posts, someone might

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be like, oh my gosh, she likes the same thing I do. It creates an instant connection for a lot

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of people. And so be open to doing that. It's really, really important. All right, let me pray for us.

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Father, thank you. Thank you for everything you're doing. Thank you for the ways that you're moving

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in our hearts and our lives. God, we thank you that you would just continue to create momentum

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and acceleration that you would bring divine breakthrough. Yes, Lord, I ask you to impart

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revelation from heaven into our hearts, our minds, our bodies, our spirits, and our souls tonight.

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God, that you would bring those things into dark from the darkness into the light, so that they can

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be revealed for healing. Yes, Lord, you know us better than we know ourselves. You know everything

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that we have need of. God, you care about our needs and our wants. And I pray tonight that you

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would help people to know more and more and more who they are. And you got that they would get their

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their true identity revelation a little bit more tonight. God, who you originally created them to

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be before wounds or trauma ever enter their life. God, I thank you for always being with us.

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I thank you that you never leave us. You never forsake us. And God, you won't abandon us on this

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journey either. God, I thank you that you have amazing surprises for us, all of us. And I thank

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you, God, that you'll help us to be able and open to receive all that you have for us in Jesus' name.

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Amen. So tonight, we're talking about identity. We're going to talk about inner vows and how a

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lot of times inner vows can kind of trip us up in a lot of ways. And so one of the first things

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I want to do is I want to get you engaged in the chat. Welcome for those of you that just joined

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us. We're so glad to see you tonight. Love seeing so many of you on camera. It's awesome. Way to go.

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All right, here you go. I would like you to fill in the statement that I am going to give you. You

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can use a couple words. You can use one word. But the point is to fill in the blank when I give you

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this. Okay. And I want you to do it without holding anything back. Okay, whatever comes to your mind

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first, that's what I want you to put in the chat. So I want you to fill in the blank for this statement

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that says I am blank. I am blank. What goes in the blank for you? Tonight, what goes in the blank

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for you? Today, what went in that blank for you? We're the happy, loving, beautiful, thankful,

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content. I am fit. Freed.

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Everyone's good. This is awesome. Here's the thing.

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I want to know what else you think. If that is really what you guys always think that's amazing.

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When you're when you're go to, okay, what is what comes up normally in your spirit?

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When you're not worried about impressing someone? I am what?

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I am what? Amy said it. Weary. We are fun and interesting. We are love. We are grateful.

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We are all these things. And I hope you guys really do feel that way when you hear that statement

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tonight. But so often, as you all as I kind of get you to lean into this more, I'm already starting

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to see some of the other things that you hear. Unlovable, quirky, wanting to be chosen. I'm wanting

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to be chosen. Tired. Here's the thing. I want to kind of throw this out there just because it

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came up in my spirit when I read that from Lisa. It's not a bad thing to want to be chosen, but so

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often we don't choose ourselves. A lot of times what we have to do is we have to learn how to love

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and choose ourselves first. And then because we do that from a place of love and adoration towards

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ourselves, then other people.

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light everywhere we go. If we believe we're abandoned, if we believe that we're not wanted,

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or some of what we've been talking about the last few weeks is sometimes we believe that

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God is not going to give us someone that like runs life the way we do. What I mean by that is like

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we've been talking, I'm going to use Danielle as an example, but you know when we're kind of like

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go-getters and we're kind of going after some things in life, sometimes we're afraid that God's

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going to put us with someone that has none of those desires. Well, if we believe that God will give

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us good things, truly, why would we believe that, right? So getting to the core of where this stuff

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is coming out from us. And when we look at the inside, when we really lean in, if you all didn't

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hear last week's session, totally check it out. We talked about, you know, the roots and the fruits

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and why this matters. I think that was last week. I'm losing my weights. Maybe that's two weeks ago.

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But why it all matters? Because again, what's on the inside is going to come out. Out of the

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overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks in our mind often thinks. So again, I pray and hope that a lot

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of you do think all those positive things as soon as you kind of think about who you are.

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But if you so happen to have negative thoughts on the regular, I want to encourage you to really

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ask God where those lies originally came from. Okay. So what thoughts are you currently aligning

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with in your life right now that are not God's truth over you and for you? And sometimes when I

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say that question, some people are like, well, I don't even know what God's truth is. I don't know

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what God's will is. I don't know what heaven is saying about me. And so one of the ways that you

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can learn that is to read the word, to read the word and know what Jesus says about or God says

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about his kids. Who is God? Like getting to know God for himself, his character, the more that you

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get to know him, the more you will end up getting to know yourself. Why? Well, because we're created

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in his image. And I know a lot of us that travel in, you know, church circles, we get over church

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and we know that stuff in our head because we've heard it so much. But we actually don't fully get

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it down in our heart. And so the way that that shows up is we get triggered or in situations

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where there's pressure that gets applied, like a relationship or something. Well, it just so happens

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that, you know, whatever is underneath the surface is going to end up, end up percolating,

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or excuse me, underneath is going to end up percolating to the top because that pressure creates

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something to cause really what's on the inside. You know, it's like, oh, it starts coming out and

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you cannot hold it back, right? So what's at the root? What are you really believing?

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So we're building on last week's session. That's why I mentioned it. So last week, I talked about

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Adam and Eve and how they sin and then when they sinned, they hid from God. So they're in the garden,

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they're hiding and God is talking to Adam like, Hey, why did you hide? Basically. And who told you

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that you were naked? And then what I did is I applied that to whatever negative things that we

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tend to think about ourselves or even things we perceived or learned over the years from our

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parents, maybe other guardians, people like grandparents, whoever influenced us, maybe even

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bosses, you know, people that even as teenagers, if you had a teacher over you that a mentor leader,

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you know, whether they were good or they were teacher or mentor that disappointed you and

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and they ended up breaking your trust, whatever that looks like, that's all

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like on the inside and it can cause us to go inward into hiding, which is why a lot of us

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don't show up on screen. You know, when we come even into things like this, now you guys don't

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always have to be on screen, but I love when you are. And I hope that you start enjoying seeing

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yourself showing up on here. Some of you, I know how it goes. You don't even like to see yourself

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on screen. I've done this for five and a half years. I've had some women never come on screen

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and they will tell me, I don't like to see myself. Well, you know, that's that's a problem if you're

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going to try to date because that's going to follow you even in person. Do you get where I'm going

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with us? So I give out an assignment. I feel led to do it tonight. So I'm going to give this assignment

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out. It's going to be one of our activations this week and I will make a note. So I don't

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forget to put this in. It's called the mirror activation. What I want you all to do is stand

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in front of the mirror. Okay. This one's a little different. I've done this before a couple different

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with yourself. I want you to kind of like maybe brawling underwear. Maybe that's what you're most

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comfortable with. You're the only one in there. Hopefully you can see yourself or maybe it's a

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bedroom where you got a full length mirror where there's nobody around. That's the point. And I

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want you just to like see who you are. And I want you to really pay attention to what you start

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hearing about yourself. I don't know about you all, but I know how quick the enemy comes to tell me

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all of my imperfections, especially when we are vulnerable and we are, if you will, unclothes on

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some manner, even if you're not fully unclothed, like they all surface, don't they? Yeah. And that's

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okay. If you guys are driving, totally get it. But where I'm going with this is that we have to learn

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how to love the imperfect parts, so to speak. And years ago, and I even probably need to do this

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again, because it really helped me when I was going through some body image stuff before.

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And God just said to me like to do this. That's why I started issuing this to people.

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And he said to not just love the parts of myself that I liked, but to start thanking God for the

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parts I didn't like about myself, like literally to start thanking him for the things that I normally

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put down in the past. Okay. So for example, when I was growing up, for those of you that don't

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know my story, I won't go into all of it tonight, but I went through sexual abuse with my brothers,

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a lot of trouble and a lot of heartache. But there's also a lot of embarrassing things that

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happened where at Christmas time, my mom would buy like bras and underwear. I've never been

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busty really ever. And so my mom would like give me these presents, but then I would have to open

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them in front of my brothers, even as a preteen and teenager was very embarrassing. And especially

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my mom, you know, technically she didn't know what was going on until she did know years later,

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but I didn't want to open those. And I would even like, when I would realize what they were,

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I'd be like, I don't want to show this. And she would like make me show them. It was really kind

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of weird hindsight. I would like never do that to my kid. But I'm saying that to you to say,

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my brothers used to make fun of me because of the lack of breast size that I had or whatever.

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And then you have boys in school that do that too and all this stuff. We'll just kind of fed

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into that and fed into that and fed into that. And then when I was married the first time,

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because I was divorced and now I'm remarried four years in, five years dating, you know,

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counting the four years married. And so first marriage, my ex-husband always talked about his

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ex and how big her boobs were. And you all, I'm telling you, like it, it messed with me because

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all I could think about is he doesn't think I'm enough. Because underneath of there was all that

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other stuff underlying. Do you all get what I'm, why I'm saying this tonight? I know this might seem

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like, okay, what does this have to do with identity? It has everything to do with it.

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It really does. So God taught me to stand in front of the mirror and start thanking him for the

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way that he made me and to stop thinking that I lacked something. Now being married again and

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being with a husband who really loves me, like everything about me has been a game changer too.

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Okay, but I had to learn how to love myself first. Even the parts that I'm like, God,

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can you have done a little bit of something here? Like maybe. But anyways, y'all,

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it, you know, I like to laugh and have a little fun about it now, but you know, I've come a long

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way. Yeah, I mean, we can't help. Some of us, we go through growth spurts. I remember even in high

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school, like what, I haven't had a baby yet. Why do I have stretch marks on my legs? What's up with

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this? Yeah. So whatever it is, love that part of yourself. So we're going to keep going. Who or

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what are you currently getting your identity from? So what are you getting your identity from?

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Is it from what you've eaten? I kind of use that paraphrase like taking in through trauma

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that you've experienced as well as trauma that you've witnessed. Because here's the other reality.

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Some of us go through the trauma and some of us see the trauma that someone else is going through

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and that still impacts us case in point when I was in the fourth grade. My mom,

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my oldest brother and my sister were hit by a drunk driver. It was really bad. They made it through.

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That's kind of the short version, but my brother was in a coma for a long time. My sister had a

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massive brain injury, had to have brain surgery. The whole like it was like a total life change.

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My brother, when he came out of the coma, had to go to a rehab center. My mom was hardly home at that

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time. And so this is where

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the enemy just used that more to tell me how much I did not matter.

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Because if I mattered, then my mom would be spending all that time like that on me.

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And those are the kind of things he kind of just kept feeding into my soul and spirit over and over and over again.

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So what people said to us, what were things that you heard?

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For those of you that don't know, we've been on starting a foster journey, my husband and I.

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And we now have our second round of respite care that we've been doing.

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We had two little girls a couple weeks ago and we now have the youngest of the two again.

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But the reason I bring that up is because here are these little girls, two years and six years old.

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And when the first day we picked them up, the oldest of the two, within minutes of putting her little sister in the car,

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she looked at her little sister and said, you ugly stupid B-I-T-C-H.

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Well, she's doing this because she heard this. Kids don't just say that kind of stuff.

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And so that's like an extreme example, but some of you all have gone through things like that where people have cursed at you.

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People have said mean things to you. Maybe they didn't intend to say something.

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But you heard them saying it about themselves, even some of you, things your moms said about themselves.

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I forget who it was last week. Someone was coaching. I can't remember.

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But I think what came up was their mom kind of put themselves down a lot and they looked like their mom.

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And so they grow up not liking aspects of themselves or struggling with that because of what their mom was saying and they heard that.

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Okay, keep going. So who does the enemies say that we are? So what are the things the enemy is saying that are getting planted in?

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And we're literally meditating on that and thinking on that more than we realize and it's taking up space in our minds and our hearts.

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And then who does God say you are the more which you guys started out tonight, which was awesome.

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You know, God does say all those things over us. And so the more that you lean into that, the more powerful it's going to become for you.

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And then you're going to look at what is your root system look like. We've been working on that talking about that.

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Like what does what's down in the roots? What's down in the soil of your heart that again, out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth is going to speak.

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So what is coming out and what is in your mind, pay attention to those things and how often are they negative?

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How often are they complaining bitterness, you know, bickering and fault finding. We don't talk a lot about these things in the church anymore.

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At least I don't hear a lot of sermons about this kind of stuff.

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You know, and so we need to get back to some of the basics and really hone in our minds and our hearts and pay attention to what is going on there.

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So remember that what goes into our hearts, what goes in is going to get reproduced.

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Luke 645 says a good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart.

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What you say or think flows from what is in your heart. Are your roots giving you life or are they causing you to decay?

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What's happening in your root system?

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All right, I'm going to keep going. Are your roots causing you to expect the worst while you are trying to hope for the best.

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For example, people come here and a lot of times most people, not that everybody wants to have a spirit mate, some people just come for the healing and that's awesome.

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But a majority come in because they do believe God has marriage for them.

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But so many don't believe that God will actually give it to them.

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That's a disconnect.

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If God is a good father, there's that scripture in that story that talks about, you know, would have, would a father give his son a serpent?

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You know, why do we think that God would give us something bad or or withhold something from us?

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Is it because deep down somewhere someone else withheld something from us but we're blaming God for that?

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That we're allowing God to help us get to the root of the matter.

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Are your roots causing you to partner with doubt or unbelief?

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Maybe it's not downright like you don't believe like you don't think God will keep things from you, but you constantly have doubt and unbelief.

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You kind of, what scripture comes to mind is being tossed about like a wave of the sea, you know, being tossed to and for like one day you believe the next day you don't, one day you believe the next, like God doesn't want that for us.

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and to kind of get into the flow of the truth of his word.

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All right, so how can you tell what's in your roots?

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Well, you got to look at the fruit of your life.

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And that's what we were talking about last week,

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quite a bit, what is the fruit of your life?

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What is that storytelling?

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Sorry, y'all, I'm still, we have these little kids

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and now I keep getting sick over and over.

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It's kind of an interesting thing, right?

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You guys have heard me talking about this for weeks.

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I'm like, oh, Jesus, I was better for a few days, you all.

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Not when I was going live, but I was better.

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All right, the next part I want to talk about

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is the inner vows.

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If you're not familiar, what an inner vow is

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is a determination set in our mind and heart

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to protect us from pain.

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A determination set in the mind and heart

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to protect us from pain.

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So basically, at some point,

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when we were going through things in life,

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we made a vow, a determination,

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something that we set kind of in stone,

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if you will, on the inside.

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Like, hey, I'm not gonna let this ever happen again.

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Why, to avoid pain?

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Okay, and I'm gonna give you some examples here.

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Romans 12, two says,

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do not conform to the pattern of this world,

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but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

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Then you will be able to test what God's will is.

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His good, pleasing, and perfect will.

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Here are some examples of how inner vows can show up.

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I'm gonna do this cop drop, y'all.

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I'm actually fine until I get in here and start

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trying to talk a lot.

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A vow number one,

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I'll never be able to make anyone happy.

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Maybe as a kid, nothing you ever did.

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Like, you never felt like you ever could do enough

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to make your parents happy.

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Or maybe it was a sibling, whoever it was.

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I'll never date or marry,

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I'm gonna make up this name,

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a Larry, or John, or someone of a certain ethnicity,

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a guy with a certain type of job,

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never am I gonna do these things,

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never will I trust anyone ever again.

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And we might say, oh, I trust people,

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but deep down, we really don't trust people.

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And ultimately, a lot of us don't really trust God.

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But so often, we're not really fully honest with ourselves.

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And so we go around the mountain

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and we go around the mountain and we go around the mountain.

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But if we could just stop,

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God's not gonna be mad at us, okay?

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He already knows.

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He already knows what's going on

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in the inside of all of us right now.

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He knows everything.

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Your darkest thoughts, times you're angry with him,

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times you're happy with him, all of it.

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He knows all of it.

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So if we could get fully honest with God and ourselves,

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so many of us would be able to get out of that cycle

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because we would finally address the core areas

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we keep getting stuck.

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And so often, it leads back to,

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I don't really trust God.

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Because how can we believe that a good father

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wouldn't give us a good gift?

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Well, the core is that we don't trust him.

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And the core of that is we don't actually know

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if he is good.

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We know that people say he is

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and we know the Bible says he is,

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but we don't know that for ourselves.

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Well, the way to know that is to get to know him better

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and to really pray into God.

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Like show me who you are is good.

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I used to pray that all the time.

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God, show me who you are is love

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because I wanted to understand it better than I did before.

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And I still pray that stuff because our minds,

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we have just this little tiny limited perspective

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as human beings, right?

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But every day I can ask God for fresh revelation

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and enlightenment of what is heaven saying.

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God, tell me who you are, show me who you are.

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Help me to see what I can't see

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so that I can walk into victory

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because we already,

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Jesus already died to give us the victory.

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It's we have to learn how to apply the blood of Jesus Christ

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and walk into the victory that is already ours.

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God already won the victory for you and your spirit mate

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through Jesus Christ.

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And he's not trying to make this a tricky game.

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Like amazed that you have to like figure out

402
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and you're going down through there

403
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and you're just like, you're panicking

404
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'cause you don't know which way to go.

405
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I don't know who that's for

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'cause I've never used that example.

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But whether you're here live

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that's how you feel a lot.

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You feel like there's this path

410
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and you're just trying to figure out

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which way to go and every time you just kind of get stuck

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at a dead end and it feels like God is playing

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a trick on you and that is not God.

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The devil is trying to cause you to believe

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that that is who God is and it isn't.

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The Bible says that the Holy Spirit is our comforter,

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our counselor, our guide.

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Well, if the Holy Spirit is our guide,

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would we ever walk through a maze alone?

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Think about that for a second.

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And would it actually be a maze

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that there's no way out of

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and there's no way to our spirit mate?

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What causes us to think that God would put us in that place?

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Just kind of like stretching and stretching.

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Like, God, I want to believe,

427
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but like every time I want to come through,

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something gets in my way or you know,

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you just just always feels out of reach.

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Ladies, that's orphan mentality is being revealed.

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Okay, I'm gonna keep going.

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Do you ever make statements or have thoughts

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and include words like always or never?

434
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They always do that.

435
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I always get passed over.

436
00:31:34.700 --> 00:31:37.900
Men never come through for me.

437
00:31:37.900 --> 00:31:42.200
Men never pick heavier women.

438
00:31:42.200 --> 00:31:43.760
Men never pick older women.

439
00:31:43.760 --> 00:31:44.680
You know, name it.

440
00:31:44.680 --> 00:31:46.160
You guys can fill in the blank there.

441
00:31:46.160 --> 00:31:49.400
Men never pick girls with dark hair, don't just,

442
00:31:49.400 --> 00:31:52.080
I hear all kinds of stuff.

443
00:31:52.080 --> 00:31:54.960
Ladies, we have people get married at all different ages,

444
00:31:54.960 --> 00:31:56.200
all different looks.

445
00:31:56.200 --> 00:31:58.520
It really doesn't have to do with that.

446
00:31:58.520 --> 00:32:01.020
It really doesn't.

447
00:32:01.020 --> 00:32:06.520
I've never seen or noticed.

448
00:32:06.520 --> 00:32:09.320
Anyone in here believe that lie?

449
00:32:09.320 --> 00:32:13.200
I've never seen or noticed anyone.

450
00:32:13.200 --> 00:32:17.320
Okay, see Michelle, Beth, Amy Z.

451
00:32:17.320 --> 00:32:18.840
Anyone else, Ricky?

452
00:32:18.840 --> 00:32:21.160
If you guys can't raise your hand,

453
00:32:21.160 --> 00:32:22.200
it's okay, you can put in the chat.

454
00:32:22.200 --> 00:32:25.320
If I didn't call your name, it's just 'cause I didn't see you.

455
00:32:25.320 --> 00:32:26.280
And that wasn't intentional,

456
00:32:26.280 --> 00:32:29.640
but sometimes it's hard to figure out in the swears.

457
00:32:29.640 --> 00:32:31.680
Danielle said, "Yep."

458
00:32:31.680 --> 00:32:36.160
All right, so if we've never been seen or noticed,

459
00:32:36.160 --> 00:32:37.840
who told us that?

460
00:32:37.840 --> 00:32:42.020
Where did we first begin believing that?

461
00:32:42.020 --> 00:32:46.360
And it's literally like we have to choose to say, okay,

462
00:32:46.360 --> 00:32:50.480
I am not going to carry this belief system

463
00:32:50.480 --> 00:32:52.920
with me into the rest of 2026.

464
00:32:52.920 --> 00:32:59.360
I'm gonna start to believe and partner with,

465
00:32:59.360 --> 00:33:01.920
God thank you that you see me.

466
00:33:01.920 --> 00:33:05.360
God thank you that you cause other people to see me.

467
00:33:05.360 --> 00:33:08.920
God thank you that I have favor everywhere that I go.

468
00:33:08.920 --> 00:33:11.280
That I have favor and I'm blessed when I rise up.

469
00:33:11.280 --> 00:33:12.840
I am blessed when I lie down.

470
00:33:12.840 --> 00:33:15.680
I'm blessed when I go out and I'm blessed when I come in.

471
00:33:15.680 --> 00:33:17.240
You know, the Bible says that.

472
00:33:19.360 --> 00:33:21.560
But it's so often we don't believe it.

473
00:33:21.560 --> 00:33:24.360
Again, this isn't about shame ladies.

474
00:33:24.360 --> 00:33:26.080
I'm just trying to bring to light things

475
00:33:26.080 --> 00:33:28.400
that we constantly think about

476
00:33:28.400 --> 00:33:30.920
or ways that we can tend to feel.

477
00:33:30.920 --> 00:33:32.400
And just to even that maze thing,

478
00:33:32.400 --> 00:33:34.600
I really feel like the Holy Spirit was on that.

479
00:33:34.600 --> 00:33:36.200
I'm like, man, I gotta write that down.

480
00:33:36.200 --> 00:33:38.560
I'll probably have to go back and get the transcript

481
00:33:38.560 --> 00:33:41.120
from this because I literally have never used that,

482
00:33:41.120 --> 00:33:43.480
but it's such a great analogy

483
00:33:43.480 --> 00:33:46.560
in how we believe the lie of the devil

484
00:33:48.000 --> 00:33:49.440
about who God is.

485
00:33:49.440 --> 00:33:52.600
And we literally think God is gonna lead us into a maze

486
00:33:52.600 --> 00:33:53.720
and just leave us there.

487
00:33:53.720 --> 00:33:59.440
Which kind of connects even, I'm thinking now,

488
00:33:59.440 --> 00:34:02.160
Danielle, to believing that God would never send us

489
00:34:02.160 --> 00:34:04.800
someone that we can actually run the race with.

490
00:34:04.800 --> 00:34:06.040
Like legit.

491
00:34:06.040 --> 00:34:10.040
I remember feeling like I didn't really ever know

492
00:34:10.040 --> 00:34:15.040
if I was gonna be running after the Lord and ministry

493
00:34:15.040 --> 00:34:17.000
and actually look over

494
00:34:18.000 --> 00:34:19.560
and see someone else running too.

495
00:34:19.560 --> 00:34:21.440
But I heard a minister say that.

496
00:34:21.440 --> 00:34:24.120
And so I just started like, yes, Lord, I believe it.

497
00:34:24.120 --> 00:34:25.719
I believe that I'm gonna run after you

498
00:34:25.719 --> 00:34:28.040
and I'm gonna look over and I'm gonna know

499
00:34:28.040 --> 00:34:30.400
that the person that is meant to do life,

500
00:34:30.400 --> 00:34:32.760
that I'm meant to do life with them, they're running too.

501
00:34:32.760 --> 00:34:34.340
And I'm gonna recognize it.

502
00:34:34.340 --> 00:34:37.639
And I just started partnering with that.

503
00:34:37.639 --> 00:34:42.639
And I let go of the negative things that I was ruminating on.

504
00:34:42.639 --> 00:34:45.800
And I just started partnering with truth and it changed.

505
00:34:45.800 --> 00:34:48.639
I mean, those things changed things for me.

506
00:34:48.639 --> 00:34:50.480
And it wasn't just like a name and claim it,

507
00:34:50.480 --> 00:34:53.800
like I started really believing it in here.

508
00:34:53.800 --> 00:34:55.960
And that was when it all changed.

509
00:34:55.960 --> 00:35:00.160
All right, why did I talk about always or never statements?

510
00:35:01.600 --> 00:35:05.940
Any good guesses?

511
00:35:05.940 --> 00:35:08.360
You can put it in the chat.

512
00:35:08.360 --> 00:35:13.200
I'm sorry, you guys, I'm so stuffed up.

513
00:35:13.200 --> 00:35:16.280
It's the worst, trying to lead a live session

514
00:35:16.280 --> 00:35:17.900
and sound like this.

515
00:35:17.900 --> 00:35:22.080
Let's see, 'cause nothing or ever always or never, yeah.

516
00:35:22.080 --> 00:35:23.940
(laughs)

517
00:35:23.940 --> 00:35:26.520
They can be connected to trauma, extremes, yes.

518
00:35:26.520 --> 00:35:27.540
Here's the thing.

519
00:35:28.520 --> 00:35:32.640
When we say things like that, they're actually signals

520
00:35:32.640 --> 00:35:37.640
to areas where we have inner vowels at work, okay?

521
00:35:37.640 --> 00:35:41.880
Typically, if we're saying always or never,

522
00:35:41.880 --> 00:35:46.280
it's gonna be a signal to where you have

523
00:35:46.280 --> 00:35:48.160
an inner vowel at work.

524
00:35:48.160 --> 00:35:54.960
So, if you believe that men never seek God

525
00:35:54.960 --> 00:35:57.780
the way women do,

526
00:35:58.780 --> 00:36:01.300
I feel like people are doing a little better with this now,

527
00:36:01.300 --> 00:36:04.300
but in our society, it wasn't that long ago

528
00:36:04.300 --> 00:36:07.380
that I mean, I can't tell you, even in the church I was in,

529
00:36:07.380 --> 00:36:10.900
how many of the wives would literally put their husbands down

530
00:36:10.900 --> 00:36:15.020
all the time, because their men didn't seek God like they did.

531
00:36:15.020 --> 00:36:19.220
And I remember growing up in my faith, hearing that.

532
00:36:19.220 --> 00:36:23.460
And so, guess what I had to get rid of

533
00:36:23.460 --> 00:36:25.780
in order to meet my spirit mate.

534
00:36:26.620 --> 00:36:28.100
(laughs)

535
00:36:28.100 --> 00:36:30.580
Those religious mindsets.

536
00:36:30.580 --> 00:36:35.380
It wasn't true.

537
00:36:35.380 --> 00:36:38.260
There are a lot of great men who love the Lord,

538
00:36:38.260 --> 00:36:41.300
who seek Him, who sought out healing.

539
00:36:41.300 --> 00:36:45.260
And I'm so blessed to say that God led me to Brian

540
00:36:45.260 --> 00:36:47.260
and he is all of those things.

541
00:36:47.260 --> 00:36:50.140
All right, so, maybe you're not sure yet

542
00:36:50.140 --> 00:36:52.820
what the inner vowels are that you might be struggling with

543
00:36:52.820 --> 00:36:54.580
or have, that's okay.

544
00:36:54.580 --> 00:36:57.300
But we're gonna just start talking about this tonight.

545
00:36:57.300 --> 00:37:01.780
What inner vow or intrusive negative thoughts

546
00:37:01.780 --> 00:37:04.580
have you been partnering with, okay?

547
00:37:04.580 --> 00:37:08.260
What inner vow or intrusive negative thoughts

548
00:37:08.260 --> 00:37:11.500
have you been partnering with still, okay?

549
00:37:11.500 --> 00:37:13.180
And we're gonna talk about this in the breakouts.

550
00:37:13.180 --> 00:37:14.620
If you've never done a breakout,

551
00:37:14.620 --> 00:37:16.540
just go in kind of be open,

552
00:37:16.540 --> 00:37:18.260
share what you feel comfortable with.

553
00:37:18.260 --> 00:37:20.220
Remember, you don't have to advise or coach or counsel,

554
00:37:20.220 --> 00:37:21.700
you just get to hear each other,

555
00:37:21.700 --> 00:37:23.900
bless each other if you have extra time.

556
00:37:23.900 --> 00:37:25.780
Get to know each other a little bit.

557
00:37:25.780 --> 00:37:28.180
Maybe what's one of your favorite things to go do.

558
00:37:28.180 --> 00:37:32.260
All right, let me get these ready.

559
00:37:32.260 --> 00:37:42.140
All right, we're gonna do seven minutes,

560
00:37:42.140 --> 00:37:44.780
so just keep it short, brief and powerful, ladies.

561
00:37:44.780 --> 00:37:46.340
And that's gonna be up on your screen.

562
00:37:46.340 --> 00:37:48.700
You're gonna click to join the room as quick as you can.

563
00:37:48.700 --> 00:37:50.540
Go ahead and click those to join.

564
00:37:51.380 --> 00:37:53.640
(chuckling)

565
00:37:53.640 --> 00:38:12.300
Bethany?

566
00:38:12.300 --> 00:38:13.140
- Yep.

567
00:38:13.140 --> 00:38:15.220
- Are all of the questions you've been asking us

568
00:38:15.220 --> 00:38:17.140
on a sheet somewhere?

569
00:38:17.140 --> 00:38:18.500
- Nope, you're just gonna talk about

570
00:38:18.500 --> 00:38:20.380
what I just gave you, just know.

571
00:38:20.380 --> 00:38:22.420
- No, I mean, like, so we can,

572
00:38:22.420 --> 00:38:24.500
I have been trying to catch all of them,

573
00:38:24.500 --> 00:38:27.420
but I don't know that I've caught all the questions you've said.

574
00:38:27.420 --> 00:38:31.900
- No, right now you're just going to breakout

575
00:38:31.900 --> 00:38:34.580
and chat about the one I just gave you guys.

576
00:38:34.580 --> 00:38:36.140
- Yeah, no, I wrote that one down.

577
00:38:36.140 --> 00:38:37.820
I was just trying to catch all the other ones.

578
00:38:37.820 --> 00:38:39.100
I didn't catch them all.

579
00:38:39.100 --> 00:38:42.260
- Okay, that's okay.

580
00:38:42.260 --> 00:38:44.300
If you wanna go in the breakout though and talk,

581
00:38:44.300 --> 00:38:46.740
'cause you guys only have six minutes, yep.

582
00:38:46.740 --> 00:38:49.060
And then I'll be playing when you come back, okay?

583
00:38:50.060 --> 00:38:52.320
(chuckling)

584
00:38:52.320 --> 00:38:56.260
All right, ladies, give me one,

585
00:38:56.260 --> 00:38:57.620
so I'm just trying to make sure everybody

586
00:38:57.620 --> 00:39:00.300
has at least two people in a room here.

587
00:39:00.300 --> 00:39:05.100
All right, Father, thank you so much for who you are.

588
00:39:05.100 --> 00:39:09.980
Thank you for rewriting our mindsets, our stories, God,

589
00:39:09.980 --> 00:39:14.140
that you're leading us into victory.

590
00:39:14.140 --> 00:39:17.980
So sorry, ladies, I'm so stuffed up.

591
00:39:18.820 --> 00:39:20.420
(chuckling)

592
00:39:20.420 --> 00:39:22.500
God, we thank you for healing.

593
00:39:22.500 --> 00:39:24.420
It's just a good reminder for even a pause.

594
00:39:24.420 --> 00:39:26.820
We thank you for healing in our bodies.

595
00:39:26.820 --> 00:39:28.500
We thank you for healing in our minds.

596
00:39:28.500 --> 00:39:30.980
We thank you for healing in our souls.

597
00:39:30.980 --> 00:39:33.180
God, thank you for healing in our finances.

598
00:39:33.180 --> 00:39:37.860
We thank you for just a reminder

599
00:39:37.860 --> 00:39:39.300
that you are the great physician,

600
00:39:39.300 --> 00:39:41.300
that nothing is too hard for you.

601
00:39:41.300 --> 00:39:45.700
We breathe in your healing oil.

602
00:39:45.700 --> 00:39:46.580
God, we thank you.

603
00:39:46.580 --> 00:39:49.380
We just kind of imagine it going from the top of our head

604
00:39:49.380 --> 00:39:50.580
to the bottom of our feet.

605
00:39:50.580 --> 00:39:51.700
And even if this is just for me,

606
00:39:51.700 --> 00:39:54.180
I pray that the other ladies will be blessed by it too.

607
00:39:54.180 --> 00:39:58.220
God, I thank you for healing.

608
00:39:58.220 --> 00:40:00.420
Me specifically, God, I need it in my face.

609
00:40:04.640 --> 00:40:10.080
need of God, I thank you that you would just touch them physically. Yes, Lord, I thank you,

610
00:40:10.080 --> 00:40:17.360
Lord, for making us repairs of the breach. God, I thank you that you're lifting up all of the

611
00:40:17.360 --> 00:40:25.680
broken and fallen places in our lives. God, that you're rewriting every aspect of our stories, God,

612
00:40:25.680 --> 00:40:34.160
I pray that you would help us to partner with you in the truth. Yes, Lord, I thank you that you

613
00:40:34.160 --> 00:40:41.040
would help us to continue to come out of darkness into the light. Lord, let your light shine on us.

614
00:40:41.040 --> 00:40:47.120
Yes, Lord Jesus, you are the light of the world. I thank you that you came into the world to illuminate

615
00:40:47.120 --> 00:40:54.800
every part and aspect of us that doesn't belong to the kingdom of heaven. We thank you that you

616
00:40:54.800 --> 00:40:59.200
came to set us free. We thank you that you died on the cross and you allowed your body to be broken

617
00:40:59.200 --> 00:41:06.080
and your blood to be shed. For the forgiveness of our sins, for our redemption, for our healing,

618
00:41:06.080 --> 00:41:13.040
we just ask Holy Spirit to come and have your way in these conversations in the breakout rooms.

619
00:41:13.040 --> 00:41:19.040
Those here listening to the prayer, those that are going to catch this replay,

620
00:41:20.160 --> 00:41:26.880
God, I pray that you would show them God where you are with them right now. No matter how they

621
00:41:26.880 --> 00:41:33.040
feel or how felt, God, if any of them believe any lies that you're a trickster or that you would

622
00:41:33.040 --> 00:41:38.320
abandon them in a maze that it's hard to figure their way out. God, I thank you that you would just

623
00:41:38.320 --> 00:41:44.000
come and just bring truth to those areas right now in Jesus name, that you would show them where you

624
00:41:44.000 --> 00:41:48.880
are and that you're right with them. God, I thank you that you never leave us. You never forsake us,

625
00:41:48.880 --> 00:41:55.920
God. I thank you that you are on our side. God, I thank you for continuing to

626
00:41:55.920 --> 00:42:04.640
help us to hear what your spirit is saying, louder than any voice of the enemy.

627
00:42:04.640 --> 00:42:12.960
Yes, Laura, we thank you that your promises are yes and amen. God, I pray that you would just

628
00:42:12.960 --> 00:42:17.280
continue to fan the flames of hunger and thirst for your righteousness, for your word.

629
00:42:18.080 --> 00:42:25.280
Lord, that you just continue to help us to see your truth right in front of us, that you would just

630
00:42:25.280 --> 00:42:33.280
continue to unveil it over and over again. God, not in a shameful way, but in yes, Lord, that we would

631
00:42:33.280 --> 00:42:38.800
receive your loving kindness, Lord, that leads us to repentance, that leads us to transformation.

632
00:42:38.800 --> 00:42:46.640
We thank you for healing us from the inside out. Lord, I pray that you would reveal inner vows

633
00:42:46.640 --> 00:42:55.280
in areas where we have made statements like, I'm never going to get hurt again. That now keep us

634
00:42:55.280 --> 00:42:59.760
bound up and stuck in ways that we don't even understand it or comprehend. So, Lord, I pray that

635
00:42:59.760 --> 00:43:06.160
you would show us what we cannot see. Set us free, Lord. We thank you, where the spirit of the Lord

636
00:43:06.160 --> 00:43:10.800
is, there is freedom, there is liberty, but we also know that the truth is what sets us free.

637
00:43:10.800 --> 00:43:13.360
So, Lord, we just ask you to just bring in more truth.

638
00:43:13.360 --> 00:43:23.440
We thank you, God, for continuing to weave in and out of tonight's session. We thank you

639
00:43:23.440 --> 00:43:30.080
that you are the way maker and you are the chain breaker. I thank you that nothing is too hard for

640
00:43:30.080 --> 00:43:35.120
you. I thank you, God, that you would just fill us with fresh hope. Where hope has been deferred

641
00:43:35.120 --> 00:43:40.240
and it's making our hearts sick, God, I thank you that you would breathe hope into us, that you would

642
00:43:40.240 --> 00:43:50.880
breathe life into us. Thank you, Lord for just helping us to partner with you in all things.

643
00:43:50.880 --> 00:44:03.520
Yes, Lord. I just kept hearing like history, history. I'm like, what is that? Why am I hearing

644
00:44:03.520 --> 00:44:08.960
his story? God is so good at writing his story, but he's so good at writing our story as well.

645
00:44:10.080 --> 00:44:13.600
You guys can't see it right now, but you might see this big yellow thing

646
00:44:13.600 --> 00:44:18.400
that I'm pointing my finger to here on the wall. That is one of my vision boards from a couple

647
00:44:18.400 --> 00:44:24.320
years ago, but I just kept it up because I love it so much. But also next to that board is all

648
00:44:24.320 --> 00:44:30.400
of my answered prayers, things that have been on my Jesus cares board that have now been answered.

649
00:44:30.400 --> 00:44:38.080
And so, I want to encourage you guys and ladies, if you have done your Jesus cares board to continue

650
00:44:38.080 --> 00:44:44.000
to pray over those, continue to visit them and hey, thank God for working in them supernaturally.

651
00:44:44.000 --> 00:44:48.480
Thank Jesus for making a way where there doesn't seem to be a way. And then when those prayers get

652
00:44:48.480 --> 00:44:56.720
answered, that you would maybe save those so that you can reflect and look back on what God has done,

653
00:44:56.720 --> 00:44:59.920
even just since you began the heart work journey.

654
00:45:07.160 --> 00:45:12.720
forget, we forget what God has done, and maybe not the big things, but some of the little

655
00:45:12.720 --> 00:45:17.920
things that we might, you know, like, oh, I forgot God answered that prayer, God answered

656
00:45:17.920 --> 00:45:33.040
that thing that I put on. It's so funny, the little squares move so fast. I was just trying

657
00:45:33.040 --> 00:45:38.440
to mute someone. I just literally kept moving them. Oh, things are funny. Technology is

658
00:45:38.440 --> 00:45:45.280
fun. Welcome back. I think everyone is back. What are we at right now? Yeah, 30. Okay,

659
00:45:45.280 --> 00:45:51.880
cool. Let me adjust. I think I have someone unmuted still. Yeah. Okay, one of them is

660
00:45:51.880 --> 00:45:59.240
back. Here we go. All right. Someone asked me are all of these questions on the sheet

661
00:45:59.240 --> 00:46:06.000
for us? Everything I coach on, I don't, I don't have these on a handout. These are

662
00:46:06.000 --> 00:46:10.640
just things I take from Jackie's book from the coaching as well as things that God

663
00:46:10.640 --> 00:46:18.280
has spoken to me. And so it's totally fine. Lisa, not a big deal at all. I'm always able

664
00:46:18.280 --> 00:46:25.160
to help mute people if needed. They are just things that God has given. So I don't have

665
00:46:25.160 --> 00:46:28.800
those in a handout, but y'all are more than welcome to write those down and take notes.

666
00:46:28.800 --> 00:46:33.560
If I went too fast tonight, you can catch the replay. That's what I used to always do.

667
00:46:33.560 --> 00:46:38.320
Y'all, I've always been, you should see how many notes I have. The team kind of teases

668
00:46:38.320 --> 00:46:43.520
me from time to time, because I have literally written notes when I've been coaching for

669
00:46:43.520 --> 00:46:48.840
five and a half years. So people even know that I've been in the program a long time.

670
00:46:48.840 --> 00:46:52.920
The coaches and stuff they know when I'm taking notes. So if you guys ever see me, when you're

671
00:46:52.920 --> 00:46:57.320
even talking during these sessions, I haven't said this in a while. If I have my head down,

672
00:46:57.320 --> 00:47:02.400
it isn't that I'm not paying attention. It's that I'm writing things down as you're talking.

673
00:47:02.400 --> 00:47:06.320
And then I write down things I'm hearing God say so that I remember to go back and ask

674
00:47:06.320 --> 00:47:10.160
you about them. And so just so y'all know, that's what I'm doing. And I've done it for

675
00:47:10.160 --> 00:47:13.840
years. And it's just what works for me. It helps me kind of dial into what the Lord

676
00:47:13.840 --> 00:47:21.240
is saying as you're talking. And so anyways, all that to say, I don't have them all written

677
00:47:21.240 --> 00:47:26.720
down for y'all, but you can grab them if you take a listen again and write those down.

678
00:47:26.720 --> 00:47:29.320
Your activations this week, I'll put them up in the group, but I'm just going to say

679
00:47:29.320 --> 00:47:34.080
them really quick. How to thought, and that's what I call it.

680
00:47:34.080 --> 00:47:40.920
How to thought is number one. So I want you to track your thoughts this week. How many

681
00:47:40.920 --> 00:47:45.120
of your thoughts are negative. How many of your thoughts are positive. I want you to

682
00:47:45.120 --> 00:47:51.320
really start paying attention to what you're thinking about. What thoughts have you started

683
00:47:51.320 --> 00:47:58.160
catching and stopping. So the Bible talks about taking every thought captive and making

684
00:47:58.160 --> 00:48:03.280
them obedient to Jesus Christ. So I even added in years ago, years ago, Lord, help me to

685
00:48:03.280 --> 00:48:07.280
quickly take every thought captive. I didn't want to just take him. I wanted it to be quick.

686
00:48:07.280 --> 00:48:13.760
I wanted to get a revelation fast. If I was thinking on something that wasn't good.

687
00:48:13.760 --> 00:48:18.000
And then I want you to create a post in the group and tell us about it. What are you recognizing

688
00:48:18.000 --> 00:48:22.720
about your thought life in your vows? Create a post in the group about what the Lord has

689
00:48:22.720 --> 00:48:27.560
been revealing to you about inner vows. And if you have questions, you're like, I still

690
00:48:27.560 --> 00:48:31.480
don't even know what the interval is. I didn't get it. You guys can write that too. We're

691
00:48:31.480 --> 00:48:37.280
not going to be offended. I understand because everybody learns differently. Okay. Some people

692
00:48:37.280 --> 00:48:41.920
are audible learners. Some people are very visual learners. I'm both I have to hear and

693
00:48:41.920 --> 00:48:48.200
see. So again, never a dumb question. Y'all can always ask anything. I promise. And we're

694
00:48:48.200 --> 00:48:51.600
not going to be like, why are you asking that? We're just going to do our best to answer

695
00:48:51.600 --> 00:48:55.800
it and hope you get to the revelation of what you need. All right. We are going to

696
00:48:55.800 --> 00:49:00.760
go into group coaching. I do have to hop off tonight at 915. We do have a little foster

697
00:49:00.760 --> 00:49:07.960
girl with us right now. And we are trying very hard to teach her bedtime. And so we're

698
00:49:07.960 --> 00:49:11.680
trying to kind of stick to kind of a rhythm. And so just y'all know, that's kind of my

699
00:49:11.680 --> 00:49:17.680
goal tonight. And Tatiana, I look forward to hearing what you have to say. Go ahead.

700
00:49:17.680 --> 00:49:22.280
So it's so funny that you talk about rhythm and bedtime because that's what I can talk

701
00:49:22.280 --> 00:49:31.600
about. So my like the thought that has been coming to me a lot lately is that I'm always

702
00:49:31.600 --> 00:49:38.800
late. I cannot manage my time. And I was sharing in our breakouts the memory that was

703
00:49:38.800 --> 00:49:44.240
like coming up. When I was growing up and like my parents were taking me to church as

704
00:49:44.240 --> 00:49:51.480
a kid, the church I thought we were going to we went there for maybe like 12 years. They

705
00:49:51.480 --> 00:49:58.920
still go there. And we were late every Sunday and every Wednesday.

706
00:49:58.920 --> 00:50:08.940
[BLANK_AUDIO]

707
00:50:24.000 --> 00:50:32.000
And even like on Wednesday nights when they would take us to like youth group.

708
00:50:32.000 --> 00:50:37.000
There were times where for like the children's ministry thing.

709
00:50:37.000 --> 00:50:48.000
They would like close the doors at a certain time and lock them, and I would like have to knock like on the doors or like being on the doors to be let in.

710
00:50:48.000 --> 00:50:53.000
So that was like what was coming up.

711
00:50:53.000 --> 00:50:59.000
This is so good. I love that you brought this up because some people would just dismiss this and be like, Oh, that's no big deal.

712
00:50:59.000 --> 00:51:09.000
But there's so much to this. This is such a great conversation. Number one, now being in a pastor's wife's shoes. I want to just bring some simple truth.

713
00:51:09.000 --> 00:51:24.000
And as a kid, though, you wouldn't think like this, okay, but I just want to bring some truth. So we even lock the doors after church, after a certain amount of time, because, you know, in this day and age, we don't want just anybody walking in the church and being

714
00:51:24.000 --> 00:51:39.000
armed and something happening with our youth. We always lock the door about 10 minutes after everybody gets there to our knowledge. Now, we will always let people in because we can see we have a security camera and we let people in if they're there for church and that kind of thing.

715
00:51:39.000 --> 00:51:55.000
But when you're a kid and you don't know and your family kind of has been late a lot, that's going to then feed into that. And so what I would recommend Tatiana. Interestingly enough, you don't know this about me, but I used to run late all the time.

716
00:51:55.000 --> 00:52:09.000
Literally, when I worked a Monday through Friday job, I used to get like my boss would say stuff to me and I would try so hard to be there by eight. You all never hardly ever.

717
00:52:09.000 --> 00:52:27.000
And do you know I ended up reading years later that part of my personality is, it's not to offend people but like, I don't like kind of that rule of like, okay, you have to be there at eight or there's something wrong or you're constantly being ridiculed for that.

718
00:52:27.000 --> 00:52:35.000
It's not that I'm trying to like not care or not be respectful, but when the pressure got taken off guess what you all.

719
00:52:35.000 --> 00:52:43.000
When nobody was watching in my shoulder like, you're late, you're late, you're late. Guess who started being on time.

720
00:52:43.000 --> 00:53:02.000
This girl. So here's the thing, I also in my own way I started praying into that because I'm like God, I don't want to be known as someone who's always late and I just started what like coming out of agreement with the lie I'm always late.

721
00:53:02.000 --> 00:53:18.000
I can never be on time because I can actually, what I started doing is I started trying to plan like okay I need to be at work at 745 and it took me a really long time because ultimately in my head I know I don't have to be there until eight.

722
00:53:18.000 --> 00:53:26.000
But like I literally started kind of like okay I need to be there by 745 I need to be the rest and I just started kind of trying to achieve that goal.

723
00:53:26.000 --> 00:53:30.000
And then if I was running late, then I would get there by eight you all.

724
00:53:30.000 --> 00:53:37.000
I know it sounds like something so simple, but that ended up breaking that cycle a little bit for me too.

725
00:53:37.000 --> 00:53:43.000
So it was a mind shift and an actual like habit shift.

726
00:53:43.000 --> 00:53:48.000
But for you as well Tatiana because your parents took you.

727
00:53:48.000 --> 00:53:54.000
And you guys were late a lot I think that that there might be something small.

728
00:53:54.000 --> 00:54:02.000
Because it kind of, I don't know why exactly but I just keep feeling like there's some shame attached to that for you.

729
00:54:02.000 --> 00:54:11.000
And so maybe just pray into that because sometimes you know when we're kids we can't, there's not much we can do if our parents are late.

730
00:54:11.000 --> 00:54:14.000
Now, if as kids like my girls.

731
00:54:14.000 --> 00:54:18.000
I love them. I love them to pieces, but Olivia Joy.

732
00:54:18.000 --> 00:54:27.000
She, I didn't understand it then but she had a lot of sensory issues and sometimes we would literally be ready to leave for church you all.

733
00:54:27.000 --> 00:54:33.000
And she would just what I would call back then freak out. I didn't understand what was happening.

734
00:54:33.000 --> 00:54:46.000
What happened is she would either get upset or hot or whatever and then all of her sensory stuff would kick in and all of a sudden something she had on that she was fine with 10 minutes prior was no longer something she could or would wear.

735
00:54:46.000 --> 00:54:53.000
And I know that sounds really small but there were times we were late on a regular basis because those things were happening.

736
00:54:53.000 --> 00:55:00.000
And so that was something that we really couldn't control even as like people that were.

737
00:55:06.720 --> 00:55:13.760
If we started caring shame as kids or young adults because our parents were always late

738
00:55:13.760 --> 00:55:20.000
Then we want to forgive our parents for being late a lot, you know and whatever that looks like and again

739
00:55:20.000 --> 00:55:22.000
I know that sounds like a small thing

740
00:55:22.000 --> 00:55:23.280
but

741
00:55:23.280 --> 00:55:28.320
When we have bitterness or resentment or unforgiveness or any kind of shame because of things

742
00:55:28.880 --> 00:55:34.560
Like this even then we can start to manifest those in our lives as well

743
00:55:34.560 --> 00:55:36.560
So when we forgive them

744
00:55:36.560 --> 00:55:43.040
A lot of times we end up breaking that cycle ourselves and so my mom was also late a lot

745
00:55:43.040 --> 00:55:45.920
And so I I actually had to forgive her

746
00:55:45.920 --> 00:55:51.200
For the times that she made me late because sometimes I would and my ex-husband did this too

747
00:55:51.200 --> 00:55:54.640
And so did the girl's dad. I can't tell you how many times I literally

748
00:55:55.120 --> 00:55:58.800
Y'all was ready on time and I would sit and wait for people

749
00:55:58.800 --> 00:56:03.680
And then I would be really embarrassed because I would be late because of them

750
00:56:03.680 --> 00:56:06.880
And I had to forgive those people

751
00:56:06.880 --> 00:56:09.600
And again, I know this just seems like a simple thing

752
00:56:09.600 --> 00:56:12.320
But it really can play out in a lot of different ways in our lives

753
00:56:12.320 --> 00:56:14.880
And so I encourage you to do that and let us know kind of

754
00:56:14.880 --> 00:56:20.880
If that starts helping but we do have to change our habits too. So it's a both-and

755
00:56:20.880 --> 00:56:22.640
You know

756
00:56:22.640 --> 00:56:26.320
And so setting extra alarms for yourself or you know

757
00:56:26.320 --> 00:56:31.920
Maybe being accountable to a friend who's not going to shame you but like can do a check-in like hey

758
00:56:31.920 --> 00:56:33.440
How did your week go?

759
00:56:33.440 --> 00:56:38.560
Like how did you do on you know how many days were you on time or earlier?

760
00:56:38.560 --> 00:56:42.720
You know what i'm saying like someone that would really lovingly be able to do that for you

761
00:56:42.720 --> 00:56:46.800
If that is helpful everybody has to kind of pray and decide what works for them

762
00:56:46.800 --> 00:56:48.480
Yeah

763
00:56:48.480 --> 00:56:52.560
I think the shame thing that's that's like been really big because even the other day

764
00:56:52.560 --> 00:56:53.600
Yeah

765
00:56:53.600 --> 00:56:56.800
I was running late to class and then I made myself more late because I was like well

766
00:56:56.800 --> 00:57:00.000
No, I don't want to go anymore because I'm going to be so embarrassed to walk in late

767
00:57:00.000 --> 00:57:04.080
And then I made myself more late because

768
00:57:04.080 --> 00:57:08.880
I was I didn't want to be like I didn't want to have that feeling so I think that

769
00:57:08.880 --> 00:57:12.320
And then doing the forgiveness thing will be big because I've

770
00:57:12.320 --> 00:57:17.600
I've done like the setting multiple alarms and like I write out my school and like

771
00:57:18.160 --> 00:57:22.320
All those things because I feel like when it comes to planning and organization like i'm really good at that

772
00:57:22.320 --> 00:57:24.000
but then like

773
00:57:24.000 --> 00:57:26.000
I think this will be the thing

774
00:57:26.000 --> 00:57:29.600
Um, yeah, and even when you said that so it sounds like even um

775
00:57:29.600 --> 00:57:34.560
Forgiving yourself for times you've been late before but also partnering with shame

776
00:57:34.560 --> 00:57:41.680
Is like and we've we've talked about this before you and I a little bit, but where we're just really hard on ourselves

777
00:57:41.680 --> 00:57:44.400
okay, so

778
00:57:44.960 --> 00:57:50.160
One of the ways this can show up for us. I don't know if any of you guys have ever done this, but I'm taking a class right now

779
00:57:50.160 --> 00:57:57.680
And I'll tell you what normally like I am like a student. I do everything by the book

780
00:57:57.680 --> 00:58:00.080
I don't turn things in late

781
00:58:00.080 --> 00:58:01.840
And I've had such a hard time y'all

782
00:58:01.840 --> 00:58:06.160
I've been sick so much that I've just been really behind and then we started fostering

783
00:58:06.160 --> 00:58:10.240
My brother-in-law died like we've just had so much stuff and I kept

784
00:58:10.640 --> 00:58:14.000
I've literally been like how am I gonna do this class? How am I gonna do this class?

785
00:58:14.000 --> 00:58:16.800
I don't know if I can do this class. I don't like I've just felt so

786
00:58:16.800 --> 00:58:21.520
Embarrassed because it's not like me to not already have this stuff done

787
00:58:21.520 --> 00:58:25.600
You know and so I've had to really look at and interestingly enough

788
00:58:25.600 --> 00:58:31.360
I said something to my husband Brian yesterday. He said are you embarrassed or something because you keep talking about this

789
00:58:31.360 --> 00:58:34.960
And he wasn't saying it to be mean, but when he said it, I was like, huh

790
00:58:34.960 --> 00:58:38.640
I think I am embarrassed

791
00:58:38.800 --> 00:58:43.520
Because I I feel like it reflects something about me that isn't true

792
00:58:43.520 --> 00:58:46.400
That makes sense

793
00:58:46.400 --> 00:58:49.440
Because I'm a good student

794
00:58:49.440 --> 00:58:53.520
And I don't like to break rules you guys at all

795
00:58:53.520 --> 00:58:56.960
And so I know I'm kind of joking about it, but see again

796
00:58:56.960 --> 00:59:01.840
These are how these little things they show up, but they get down in us, right?

797
00:59:01.840 --> 00:59:08.640
So hopefully that helps anyone like Tatiana and anyone else that might struggle with some of those kind of things

798
00:59:09.040 --> 00:59:13.520
But again, this is why we have to look at the root, okay, like lord even with me with that class

799
00:59:13.520 --> 00:59:16.320
ultimately

800
00:59:16.320 --> 00:59:21.680
I don't even want to consider it, but if I couldn't finish that class

801
00:59:21.680 --> 00:59:26.800
I'm just putting this out there because I'm just being transparent with you all. This is how I process

802
00:59:26.800 --> 00:59:30.480
If I couldn't finish that class

803
00:59:30.480 --> 00:59:33.360
What does that say about me?

804
00:59:33.360 --> 00:59:36.800
At the core, that's what I've been processing

805
00:59:37.680 --> 00:59:42.880
And I've had to be honest with myself that I believe I know it's not true

806
00:59:42.880 --> 00:59:50.240
But at the core, I believe I'm a failure because I want to do the class

807
00:59:50.240 --> 00:59:55.600
And if I can't do it for whatever reason, then I have failed

808
00:59:55.600 --> 00:59:59.920
Well, why do I believe that will become

809
01:00:06.960 --> 01:00:10.560
and sister I have two older brothers and an older sister I would watch my middle brother

810
01:00:10.560 --> 01:00:18.480
and sister get C's D's and sometimes F's and it felt like they hardly got in trouble

811
01:00:18.480 --> 01:00:29.120
like at all if I got a C oh my gosh you would have thought I got an F and so I think you

812
01:00:29.120 --> 01:00:38.960
know when I look back internally I am not allowed to fail but John Maxwell I don't know if you guys

813
01:00:38.960 --> 01:00:44.960
have ever heard of his book fail forward it's powerful and I read that years ago and it's coming

814
01:00:44.960 --> 01:00:49.360
up in my spirit as an even as I'm talking about this again tonight you know and I'm gonna be fine

815
01:00:49.360 --> 01:00:54.240
I'll finish that class but again some of these things they bring this stuff up in us and if we

816
01:00:54.240 --> 01:01:03.360
pay attention there's so much healing available I can fail forward so even if I quote unquote fail

817
01:01:03.360 --> 01:01:10.240
man God can take that and create something amazing so when I went through my divorce guess what

818
01:01:10.240 --> 01:01:18.480
I felt like a failure but that wasn't true that wasn't true God was doing so much in me and he's

819
01:01:18.480 --> 01:01:23.520
been using it ever since and so I hope again that's helpful for a lot of you Tatiana let us know how

820
01:01:23.520 --> 01:01:31.760
that goes thank you for sharing as always tonight Danielle go ahead in that spirit of what you just

821
01:01:31.760 --> 01:01:37.840
said Bethany um between last week and this week y'all I've got a lot of clarity and I am ready

822
01:01:37.840 --> 01:01:43.840
to move on to phase two and I feel a lot of peace some really supernatural things happen to me and

823
01:01:43.840 --> 01:01:49.920
I'm really receiving and I feel like I'm about to fail forward and dating and I'm even nervous like

824
01:01:49.920 --> 01:01:54.960
I'd love some last minute coaching here and if it feels like a phase two thing I completely

825
01:01:54.960 --> 01:02:03.760
understand but a guy a guy with my non-negotiables from my church approached me and um oh my gosh I

826
01:02:03.760 --> 01:02:13.760
wrote him off y'all I told him I will never date you because you don't make enough money for what

827
01:02:13.760 --> 01:02:20.960
I'm looking for and the big fat juicy financial goals I have in my life and I didn't tell him that

828
01:02:20.960 --> 01:02:26.320
to his face but that is a never statement in my spirit and here I am like about feeling like

829
01:02:26.320 --> 01:02:31.280
wait I'm about to miss out on a freaking awesome dude because he doesn't make X amount of money and

830
01:02:31.280 --> 01:02:37.840
I just here's what's behind that like I'm gonna end up being the provider I'm not gonna be able to

831
01:02:37.840 --> 01:02:46.080
focus on the things I'm called to I'm gonna stay controlled I'm you know it's the same maybe kind

832
01:02:46.080 --> 01:02:52.480
of the spirit of behind like um I'd rather I'd like a guy to show me he's built wealth and not just

833
01:02:52.480 --> 01:02:58.320
tell me these are my goals however what if he does have good financial stewardship and he does

834
01:02:58.320 --> 01:03:04.000
godly character which are my non-negotiables I still in my mind I'm like well that's still not

835
01:03:04.000 --> 01:03:09.360
good enough I need to see it I need to see the money you bringing through the table and it needs

836
01:03:09.360 --> 01:03:16.480
you just amount of money and I that won't work dating this guy it won't work no it won't but I'm

837
01:03:16.480 --> 01:03:20.720
gonna go out with this guy and I feel really blessed to go on to phase two and get some coaching and

838
01:03:20.720 --> 01:03:27.360
healing but like yeah I still feel a little stuck and wrestling with that well and again remember

839
01:03:28.000 --> 01:03:35.120
so ladies I want you to remember that getting set free sometimes is immediate okay there are

840
01:03:35.120 --> 01:03:43.360
times that it will be like like that and will be set free but a majority of the time it's a process

841
01:03:43.360 --> 01:03:50.320
okay so a lot of us it took years to get into this place of this mindset in these heart postures

842
01:03:50.320 --> 01:03:56.160
that we have it's going to take a little time daniel to break the mindsets and the heart postures

843
01:03:56.160 --> 01:04:00.400
that you've been walking in you know the stuff that you've been working on these last few weeks

844
01:04:00.400 --> 01:04:08.720
is massive amazing work but your heart and you're is going to have to catch up you know what I'm

845
01:04:08.720 --> 01:04:16.480
saying and that repetition of continuing to work that muscle of oh that's right god has good things

846
01:04:16.480 --> 01:04:23.520
for me that includes he will okay let's also okay thank you lord let's also dial this back another

847
01:04:23.520 --> 01:04:34.000
layer yeah who is your provider the lord and right now in this I would say no yeah I would say yes

848
01:04:34.000 --> 01:04:40.640
I'd say but but also no well because you're looking with human eyes I am because ladies here's

849
01:04:40.640 --> 01:04:46.400
the thing and now again if the guy was totally horrible in his finances and just massively in

850
01:04:46.400 --> 01:04:50.720
debt depending on the circumstance okay that's not that's not this dude and that's not the kind

851
01:04:50.720 --> 01:04:56.560
of guys yeah I don't get that vibe from you at all i got this guy but here's the thing some people

852
01:04:56.560 --> 01:04:59.840
will literally when

853
01:05:04.160 --> 01:05:10.560
together and how John the Baptist jumped in Elizabeth's wound when Mary came up

854
01:05:10.560 --> 01:05:15.400
close? Well, why? Because Jesus was on the inside of Mary and these two kind of

855
01:05:15.400 --> 01:05:22.440
things kind of ignited in the spirit. Well, I genuinely believe that whether we

856
01:05:22.440 --> 01:05:26.040
feel it or not, and I don't mean that this can only happen with one person

857
01:05:26.040 --> 01:05:29.600
ever. Okay, so I don't want you all getting caught up in that mindset. But I

858
01:05:29.600 --> 01:05:37.200
believe spiritual DNA on the inside of people when we are carrying promise and

859
01:05:37.200 --> 01:05:43.520
they're carrying promise and we come together there are callings aligned whether

860
01:05:43.520 --> 01:05:49.520
they are manifested all the way at that time or not. So what I mean by that is my

861
01:05:49.520 --> 01:05:52.360
husband was already running the race. He was already pastoring. He was already

862
01:05:52.360 --> 01:05:56.160
following and pursuing the Lord and I'm running and I was doing things I was

863
01:05:56.160 --> 01:06:02.560
doing. But y'all now that we've been together, like not long after we even came

864
01:06:02.560 --> 01:06:06.800
together, my husband started talking about dreams and things that he had and

865
01:06:06.800 --> 01:06:11.600
wanted to do that he literally never mentioned in the entire year that we

866
01:06:11.600 --> 01:06:16.360
were dating, engaged and you know, and it wasn't bad stuff. I was like, whoa, okay

867
01:06:16.360 --> 01:06:20.000
where's this coming from? Well, it made so much sense all the coaching that we

868
01:06:20.000 --> 01:06:25.720
got about like the spiritual DNA. When we come together as easers, women,

869
01:06:25.720 --> 01:06:31.560
what causes that like it awake, it can awaken stuff, right? It's not our job to

870
01:06:31.560 --> 01:06:36.280
do it. It's not our job to do it. But what happens is the spirit, if it's already

871
01:06:36.280 --> 01:06:42.320
on the inside of them, the spirit does the work. It's just encountering. It's like I

872
01:06:42.320 --> 01:06:46.440
said like, I don't and again, I haven't fully studied this contextually in the

873
01:06:46.440 --> 01:06:50.880
Bible. But over and over every time I've heard Jackie talk about it, all I think

874
01:06:50.880 --> 01:06:56.040
about is Elizabeth and Mary and how literally when those the promise and

875
01:06:56.040 --> 01:06:59.880
both of those people came together, I feel the whole spirit talking about

876
01:06:59.880 --> 01:07:03.560
this. I just I seen and Ryan and I's life. Like even the fact that we're

877
01:07:03.560 --> 01:07:09.280
fostering now, like we we definitely wanted to have our own baby. We did and

878
01:07:09.280 --> 01:07:12.760
we pursued that to the best of our ability. But when that door was an

879
01:07:12.760 --> 01:07:16.720
opening, we're like, okay, well, we don't want to miss out on this opportunity. And

880
01:07:16.720 --> 01:07:22.360
now you all like we're talking about even wanting to like cultivate an

881
01:07:22.360 --> 01:07:27.160
environment of foster families in our church. Like there's just so much that

882
01:07:27.160 --> 01:07:34.240
can happen as we pursue the calling of God on our lives and give the other

883
01:07:34.240 --> 01:07:39.400
person that we're partnered with the permission and the space to do the same

884
01:07:39.400 --> 01:07:46.960
in the way that God wants to do it. Now, I will also say that as my husband's

885
01:07:46.960 --> 01:07:54.880
easier, one of the things that God uses me to do a lot is my husband is a very

886
01:07:54.880 --> 01:07:58.880
big visionary innovator. He's always thinking of ideas, always thinking of

887
01:07:58.880 --> 01:08:07.480
ideas. And for example, today he had an idea that I was like not a good idea. I

888
01:08:07.480 --> 01:08:12.320
love you. And I actually was frustrated with him about it. It's not because he

889
01:08:12.320 --> 01:08:17.479
did something wrong per se, but I'm like, stop having all these ideas. We just got

890
01:08:17.479 --> 01:08:22.399
started over here. You know, and so he's not trying to do something wrong. But

891
01:08:22.399 --> 01:08:31.080
see, God is using me not to hold him back, but to help us stay on track. Okay.

892
01:08:31.080 --> 01:08:38.000
And so could he do that on his own? Maybe? I don't know. But I've definitely seen my

893
01:08:38.000 --> 01:08:43.359
husband like his caliber, like he was already a good preacher, but I'm telling

894
01:08:43.359 --> 01:08:47.760
you all, stuff has awakened in him because we're running the race together

895
01:08:47.760 --> 01:08:53.319
now. And it's come awakened in me too. There's so many things that I dream about

896
01:08:53.319 --> 01:08:58.760
now, or that I've even started working on, or doing more of because my husband is

897
01:08:58.760 --> 01:09:04.040
cheering me on. He believes in me. And seeing what he's going after kind of sparks

898
01:09:04.040 --> 01:09:09.000
me to want to go after. Does that make sense? Oh, I know that was a long answer.

899
01:09:09.000 --> 01:09:15.040
But I hope it helps you all. No, I this that was amazing. Yeah. So just keep, I

900
01:09:15.040 --> 01:09:20.279
think number one, I believe God is giving you wisdom about this guy, whether

901
01:09:20.279 --> 01:09:24.359
he's your spirit made or not, you don't have to worry about that. But you're

902
01:09:24.359 --> 01:09:28.160
recognizing that you are counting him out because of his current financial

903
01:09:28.160 --> 01:09:36.000
status. You don't know what God has in store for him. Right. Okay. Yeah, man.

904
01:09:36.000 --> 01:09:45.640
Literally, the Bible says that God can teach us how to create wealth. Okay. So

905
01:09:45.640 --> 01:09:51.399
that may might be God's plan for him. So let's not count people out because of

906
01:09:51.399 --> 01:09:57.800
their current situation. You never know what tomorrow might like unveil for

907
01:09:57.800 --> 01:10:00.020
them. Again, I don't know what this guys.

908
01:10:04.200 --> 01:10:04.680
Yeah.

909
01:10:04.680 --> 01:10:07.800
I'm so glad that you had the breakthroughs that you had and that you're going to

910
01:10:07.800 --> 01:10:08.840
start to move forward.

911
01:10:08.840 --> 01:10:09.960
I think it's amazing.

912
01:10:09.960 --> 01:10:11.720
I think it's the right move for you for sure.

913
01:10:11.720 --> 01:10:13.120
Thank you.

914
01:10:13.120 --> 01:10:13.680
Thank you.

915
01:10:13.680 --> 01:10:15.080
Thank you and everyone in here.

916
01:10:15.080 --> 01:10:16.960
I appreciate you so much.

917
01:10:16.960 --> 01:10:18.800
We we are so excited for you.

918
01:10:18.800 --> 01:10:22.960
It's been awesome to have you in here and I can't wait to see what else is ahead.

919
01:10:22.960 --> 01:10:25.480
I'll be seeing you in the other phases too.

920
01:10:25.480 --> 01:10:27.560
So don't think that I'm just like gone.

921
01:10:27.560 --> 01:10:30.480
It's really awesome that I get to kind of get the glimpse of your all's journey

922
01:10:30.480 --> 01:10:32.480
here and then see a little bit as you go.

923
01:10:32.480 --> 01:10:33.360
It's exciting.

924
01:10:33.360 --> 01:10:34.200
Yeah.

925
01:10:34.200 --> 01:10:34.800
Awesome.

926
01:10:34.800 --> 01:10:36.760
OK, is it Tony?

927
01:10:36.760 --> 01:10:38.440
Is that how you say it or Tony?

928
01:10:38.440 --> 01:10:41.200
Oh, go ahead and mute.

929
01:10:41.200 --> 01:10:41.560
Sorry.

930
01:10:41.560 --> 01:10:46.760
Shoney.

931
01:10:46.760 --> 01:10:47.800
Shoney.

932
01:10:47.800 --> 01:10:52.240
OK, yeah, my, my name is Cheryl, but my nickname is Shoney.

933
01:10:52.240 --> 01:10:53.120
OK.

934
01:10:53.120 --> 01:10:55.080
I love it.

935
01:10:56.360 --> 01:10:57.480
It reminds me of

936
01:10:57.480 --> 01:11:00.960
Shoney, like the restaurant.

937
01:11:00.960 --> 01:11:02.400
Shoney's or something, right?

938
01:11:02.400 --> 01:11:08.440
Yeah, yeah, it was my sister's name is Tony and my nephew kind of mixed the two

939
01:11:08.440 --> 01:11:10.800
names together when he was little and got me.

940
01:11:10.800 --> 01:11:12.240
Shoney, and it just stuck.

941
01:11:12.240 --> 01:11:13.600
I love it.

942
01:11:13.600 --> 01:11:15.520
Thank you for sharing that with us.

943
01:11:15.520 --> 01:11:20.840
So my thing is what you brought up earlier about trusting God.

944
01:11:20.840 --> 01:11:24.560
I think that's I have some trust issues with people.

945
01:11:24.560 --> 01:11:29.120
And now I'm thinking maybe I have some trust issues with God because like I was

946
01:11:29.120 --> 01:11:32.960
sharing in my group, I feel like it's too late for me, like I'm.

947
01:11:32.960 --> 01:11:38.840
It's OK.

948
01:11:38.840 --> 01:11:48.280
So what it's OK, we give you space.

949
01:11:48.280 --> 01:11:49.520
You don't have to rush this.

950
01:11:49.520 --> 01:11:50.000
Yeah.

951
01:11:54.200 --> 01:11:57.080
I divorced my husband in 2001.

952
01:11:57.080 --> 01:12:00.440
So 25 years, I've been single.

953
01:12:00.440 --> 01:12:04.480
I had one relationship in that 25 years that didn't go anywhere.

954
01:12:04.480 --> 01:12:06.520
And so I just feel like.

955
01:12:06.520 --> 01:12:17.240
So tell me, like, Shoney, when you divorced your ex, let's talk about that

956
01:12:17.240 --> 01:12:20.040
for a second, because that's what started this cycle, OK?

957
01:12:20.840 --> 01:12:27.000
So and if you don't know tonight, it's totally fine, but just whatever comes up

958
01:12:27.000 --> 01:12:29.680
in your spirit, let's kind of go a little bit at a time here.

959
01:12:29.680 --> 01:12:37.000
What lie did you start believing or lies when you went through that divorce

960
01:12:37.000 --> 01:12:40.680
about yourself, not just the divorce, but about you.

961
01:12:40.680 --> 01:12:44.520
And I'm not level.

962
01:12:44.520 --> 01:12:47.240
OK, anything else?

963
01:12:47.240 --> 01:12:48.480
I don't know.

964
01:12:48.480 --> 01:12:49.800
It's OK.

965
01:12:49.800 --> 01:13:11.240
As more come to you, I want you to jot them down this week, OK, anything that comes to you about the time that you got, you know, went through to divorce or approached the divorce, maybe even the first year after, and it really could be anytime since then.

966
01:13:11.240 --> 01:13:33.240
But typically, before we go through divorce and during and like, you know, that year after we're hearing all kinds of things, the enemy is saying about our identity because of the divorce, especially if, you know, the church or denominations were in or whatever, don't believe in divorce, you know, and then you have all of that stuff too.

967
01:13:33.240 --> 01:13:40.240
So, you said, I feel like it's too late, OK, now, I mean, you look pretty young to me.

968
01:13:40.240 --> 01:13:42.240
Do you mind to tell us how old you are?

969
01:13:42.240 --> 01:13:43.240
I'm 64.

970
01:13:43.240 --> 01:13:45.240
You're so young.

971
01:13:45.240 --> 01:13:47.240
You're so young, truly.

972
01:13:47.240 --> 01:13:53.240
And I know it's easy for me to say that, but literally we have a lady that just got married at like 80 long.

973
01:13:53.240 --> 01:14:12.240
Yeah, and that's what I was telling the ladies in the group that people at my church are 80 and widows and widowers and they're getting married, but it's like, they're either 30 something with married with children, or they're 80 or older, retired, and there's nothing in the middle.

974
01:14:12.240 --> 01:14:17.240
There's nothing I feel like I'm in this void space.

975
01:14:17.240 --> 01:14:31.240
So one of the things, and I don't want to encourage you to do it now, because you're in the hard work, we don't encourage anybody to make big moves when you're in the hard work.

976
01:14:31.240 --> 01:14:34.240
And I'm not even saying you have to do this.

977
01:14:34.240 --> 01:14:43.240
I'm just going to plan a seed and you can pray into it. And if God leads you in this direction, cool, if he doesn't, that's OK.

978
01:14:43.240 --> 01:14:57.240
But one of the things Jackie for years has talked about is that sometimes we're trying to find people in the field we've been in for a long time when God is asking us to move to a different field.

979
01:14:57.240 --> 01:15:01.160
field.

980
01:15:04.640 --> 01:15:07.520
churches where there's literally no single people and then they're mad

981
01:15:07.520 --> 01:15:09.960
because they're not meeting anyone at their church.

982
01:15:09.960 --> 01:15:15.400
So sometimes Jackie will coach people like, Hey, even you don't have to necessarily

983
01:15:15.400 --> 01:15:19.720
leave your church, but you might want to start going to other churches that have

984
01:15:19.720 --> 01:15:24.120
singles programs or speed dating events, not right now, but when you're done with

985
01:15:24.120 --> 01:15:25.160
the hard work, but you know what I'm saying?

986
01:15:25.160 --> 01:15:28.000
Like, so it's kind of like you got a wide in your circle.

987
01:15:28.200 --> 01:15:33.360
Okay, but before you even do that, we got to get to the root of, I'm not

988
01:15:33.360 --> 01:15:37.640
lovable and it's too late for me because it's like you've counted yourself out.

989
01:15:37.640 --> 01:15:41.600
And I don't think it's just because of the age of people in your church.

990
01:15:41.600 --> 01:15:43.640
Now that's, that's adding to it.

991
01:15:43.640 --> 01:15:45.880
That's kind of like another layer on top of there.

992
01:15:45.880 --> 01:15:54.440
But at the core, if you believe you're not lovable, then when you're showing up to

993
01:15:54.440 --> 01:15:59.160
date, it's kind of like internally that's in there.

994
01:15:59.160 --> 01:16:03.280
So it's like flashing up here, even if you don't mean to, you know what I'm saying?

995
01:16:03.280 --> 01:16:07.680
Because what we believe on the inside is how we present ourselves on the outside.

996
01:16:07.680 --> 01:16:14.280
Yeah, I used to believe that I was never going to be able to meet anybody that

997
01:16:14.280 --> 01:16:16.160
didn't abuse me or mistreat me.

998
01:16:16.160 --> 01:16:21.640
I really, I wanted to, but I was like, what the heck?

999
01:16:21.640 --> 01:16:23.080
I keep attracting these people.

1000
01:16:23.080 --> 01:16:24.760
This is never going to end for me.

1001
01:16:24.760 --> 01:16:27.360
This is all I get, I guess.

1002
01:16:27.360 --> 01:16:31.080
Literally, I, I wouldn't always even say it out loud, but I would think it.

1003
01:16:31.080 --> 01:16:33.080
I was confused.

1004
01:16:33.080 --> 01:16:36.400
I grew up in abuse and, you know, that's all I keep attracting.

1005
01:16:36.400 --> 01:16:37.800
I guess that's all there is for me.

1006
01:16:37.800 --> 01:16:44.280
But see, that was me believing, limiting belief systems and lies of the double.

1007
01:16:44.280 --> 01:16:50.000
And so the enemy is feeding you a lie and it's up to you to choose to stop

1008
01:16:50.000 --> 01:16:50.960
partnering with it.

1009
01:16:50.960 --> 01:16:52.720
It's not easy, but you can do it.

1010
01:16:52.720 --> 01:16:55.920
So I want to encourage you post it.

1011
01:16:55.920 --> 01:16:58.880
Note to your friends, ladies, at least it's for me.

1012
01:16:58.880 --> 01:17:00.960
I always keep post it.

1013
01:17:00.960 --> 01:17:01.640
I really do.

1014
01:17:01.640 --> 01:17:06.480
And when I hear something that really impacts me, I write it down and I put it up

1015
01:17:06.480 --> 01:17:10.120
where I can see it all the time because I start to meditate on it over and over.

1016
01:17:10.120 --> 01:17:15.680
And so back in the day, I would write out things where, like for this, for example,

1017
01:17:15.680 --> 01:17:22.560
I shown it and coming out of agreement with the lie that it's too late for me.

1018
01:17:22.560 --> 01:17:26.680
And I come into agreement with I am right on time.

1019
01:17:26.680 --> 01:17:31.280
I am the right age at the right time and the perfect season to meet my spirit, mate.

1020
01:17:31.280 --> 01:17:33.600
Yes.

1021
01:17:33.600 --> 01:17:34.560
Yeah.

1022
01:17:34.560 --> 01:17:35.640
Yes.

1023
01:17:35.640 --> 01:17:36.920
Yes for you.

1024
01:17:36.920 --> 01:17:39.560
And, you know, even, yes.

1025
01:17:39.560 --> 01:17:40.400
All right.

1026
01:17:40.400 --> 01:17:41.080
Yes.

1027
01:17:41.080 --> 01:17:45.720
But you're going to start literally out loud declaring that over yourself.

1028
01:17:45.720 --> 01:17:48.640
I really want to encourage you to do that because here's the thing.

1029
01:17:49.920 --> 01:17:53.680
We got to believe it here, but we also got to get it down in here.

1030
01:17:53.680 --> 01:17:54.720
And how do we do that?

1031
01:17:54.720 --> 01:17:55.440
Well, we heal.

1032
01:17:55.440 --> 01:17:59.880
And so as you're starting to believe and partner with the truth and you're here

1033
01:17:59.880 --> 01:18:04.120
doing the hard work, those things are going to start to work in synergy together.

1034
01:18:04.120 --> 01:18:07.920
And that's where the convergence, where your heart and your mind are going to come

1035
01:18:07.920 --> 01:18:08.920
back together.

1036
01:18:08.920 --> 01:18:16.560
You're going to allow yourself to really awaken and start to believe like, Hey,

1037
01:18:16.760 --> 01:18:19.960
who told you that you weren't lovable, who told you that?

1038
01:18:19.960 --> 01:18:22.880
And literally just start speaking to your spirit.

1039
01:18:22.880 --> 01:18:24.680
You know, David said, why are you downcast?

1040
01:18:24.680 --> 01:18:26.640
Oh, my soul hope in the Lord.

1041
01:18:26.640 --> 01:18:29.040
Well, literally we could.

1042
01:18:29.040 --> 01:18:33.080
Why are you believing this lie that you're not lovable, Shoni?

1043
01:18:33.080 --> 01:18:39.200
You know, like we have to like literally talk to ourselves, not in a creepy way,

1044
01:18:39.200 --> 01:18:41.960
but just, you know, God loves you.

1045
01:18:42.160 --> 01:18:47.400
God loves me and he's going to enable me to prosper with everything I put my hand

1046
01:18:47.400 --> 01:18:49.360
to do, including dating.

1047
01:18:49.360 --> 01:18:55.200
You know, why do we think that that doesn't apply to that part of our life?

1048
01:18:55.200 --> 01:19:00.400
But again, it has to come from a place of rooted and groundedness in the love of

1049
01:19:00.400 --> 01:19:02.560
God. Perfect loves cast out fear.

1050
01:19:02.560 --> 01:19:08.360
Fear has to do with with torment at the root of believing we're not lovable is the

1051
01:19:08.360 --> 01:19:11.400
fear that somebody isn't going to love us.

1052
01:19:11.800 --> 01:19:13.560
Mm hmm. Right.

1053
01:19:13.560 --> 01:19:14.400
Yes.

1054
01:19:14.400 --> 01:19:16.120
And dating is terrifying.

1055
01:19:16.120 --> 01:19:17.280
OK.

1056
01:19:17.280 --> 01:19:22.040
Used to be used to be used to be terrifying.

1057
01:19:22.040 --> 01:19:24.160
Ladies, see this?

1058
01:19:24.160 --> 01:19:24.560
I know.

1059
01:19:24.560 --> 01:19:27.520
And I'm so glad you said that because that is what a lot of people.

1060
01:19:27.520 --> 01:19:32.080
And I will say sometimes dating on the apps can be hard.

1061
01:19:32.080 --> 01:19:35.120
Sometimes dating in person can be hard, but here's the thing.

1062
01:19:35.120 --> 01:19:40.800
If you want to partner with hard, it's going to be hard.

1063
01:19:41.240 --> 01:19:41.800
Mm hmm.

1064
01:19:41.800 --> 01:19:42.720
OK.

1065
01:19:42.720 --> 01:19:44.800
And I'm not saying that to shame you.

1066
01:19:44.800 --> 01:19:49.800
Literally, this is all the stuff I tell you guys is stuff I've had to literally

1067
01:19:49.800 --> 01:19:50.800
work out myself.

1068
01:19:50.800 --> 01:19:56.040
Foster parenting is freaking hard, you all.

1069
01:19:56.040 --> 01:19:57.960
OK.

1070
01:19:58.480 --> 01:20:00.000
But if I-

1071
01:20:05.280 --> 01:20:11.760
It's hard. This is so hard. But if I just like, God, thank you so much, that you give me the grace

1072
01:20:11.760 --> 01:20:20.640
in the ability, you annoyed me to do this good work. Like, it shifts things, right? Because I'm

1073
01:20:20.640 --> 01:20:27.520
not in it alone. And when I partner with God, thank you, that you give me everything that I need,

1074
01:20:27.520 --> 01:20:35.920
even God, when it feels hard, I know that you equip me for every good work that you call me to.

1075
01:20:35.920 --> 01:20:41.120
And hey, ladies, that includes Lord, thank you so much that you're going to enable me to meet

1076
01:20:41.120 --> 01:20:44.880
healthy good men on the apps. You're going to enable me. And when I don't, God, thank you,

1077
01:20:44.880 --> 01:20:51.680
that I can bless them and block them and move on. You know, and again, like, I just want you to,

1078
01:20:51.680 --> 01:20:56.960
you all, track in your thoughts this week. It's going to be like very eye opening for some of you.

1079
01:20:57.600 --> 01:21:03.440
If you're fully honest, like, just really tracking what's going on up here, you're going to be like,

1080
01:21:03.440 --> 01:21:12.560
Oh, man, I didn't realize how much negativity was going on in there. And so, yeah, just keep doing

1081
01:21:12.560 --> 01:21:17.120
that. You're on the right track. This is how it starts. This is how the shifts start to happen.

1082
01:21:17.120 --> 01:21:22.800
We start to believe that something is possible. But remember, we don't want to be like that wave

1083
01:21:22.800 --> 01:21:28.960
tossed to and fro back and forth. But the only way that the balance happens, you know, where that

1084
01:21:28.960 --> 01:21:37.280
stops and we start to center is to be rooted and grounded in love. Do you believe, and I know the

1085
01:21:37.280 --> 01:21:41.920
quick answer, but let's really look into this, ladies, this is for everyone. But let's all ask

1086
01:21:41.920 --> 01:21:52.640
ourselves. Do I really believe that God loves me? We all answer yes. But

1087
01:21:52.640 --> 01:22:02.000
when it comes down to it, so many of us actually don't think so. We know, we know that he does.

1088
01:22:02.000 --> 01:22:09.680
And we believe that he doesn't part. But then there's something inside of us that leads us to,

1089
01:22:09.680 --> 01:22:16.320
again, think that he tricks us, that he's promises that he's not going to come through for us, that

1090
01:22:16.320 --> 01:22:22.080
he'll answer the prayers and blessings for everybody else, but not us. What does that sound like love?

1091
01:22:22.720 --> 01:22:32.400
It doesn't, right? Well, then we have to look at the reality is, is there still an a measure? It

1092
01:22:32.400 --> 01:22:37.600
doesn't mean that we don't know anything about God's love. But there's still a big measure of the

1093
01:22:37.600 --> 01:22:43.040
revelation of God's love that we need. Y'all, I've been coach literally talking about this many

1094
01:22:43.040 --> 01:22:48.960
years before I came into this community. I've been coaching on this myself included. I'm just like

1095
01:22:48.960 --> 01:22:57.120
God, there's still much, so much I have to learn about your love. Like he loves us so much.

1096
01:22:57.120 --> 01:23:01.520
And the more that we understand the depth of that,

1097
01:23:01.520 --> 01:23:10.480
whoo, yes, Lord, the more that we get it, the more that we're able to receive his gifts

1098
01:23:10.480 --> 01:23:18.480
and not believe the lie that nobody is ever going to pick us. We pick ourselves, God picks us,

1099
01:23:18.480 --> 01:23:23.600
and guess what? He draws us to our spirit mate and us to our spirit. Like he draws our spirit mate

1100
01:23:23.600 --> 01:23:30.960
to us and us to our spirit mates. Okay. When the time is right, and this isn't going to be like,

1101
01:23:30.960 --> 01:23:34.640
I want you to think it's not going to be a torturous thing, but when the time is right,

1102
01:23:34.640 --> 01:23:40.880
God will highlight you and he'll help you, but you might have to learn some new things about

1103
01:23:40.880 --> 01:23:45.520
dating too. And that's what, you know, when you guys go into the additional phases, I promise for

1104
01:23:45.520 --> 01:23:52.000
those of you that will walk it out. Like it literally changed everything for me. I had to learn how to

1105
01:23:52.000 --> 01:23:56.240
date in a different way. I really didn't even know how to date ever when I tried to date before. I

1106
01:23:56.240 --> 01:24:01.120
really didn't know what I was doing. And that's why I kept attracting really unhealthy people. Okay.

1107
01:24:01.120 --> 01:24:07.200
So let's try this out this week. Let's come out of alignment with those lies and start kind of

1108
01:24:07.200 --> 01:24:11.680
really verbalizing the truth. And if you need to work that out, you can create a post and like,

1109
01:24:11.680 --> 01:24:16.480
hey, this is what I was thinking. Is this a good thing to partner with? You know, let us, if you

1110
01:24:16.480 --> 01:24:19.520
want to just do something on your own, that's totally fine. But I just want you to know, we can kind of

1111
01:24:19.520 --> 01:24:23.840
help you walk through that to get to a statement that you can start to partner with. Okay.

1112
01:24:23.840 --> 01:24:30.960
Awesome. Well, I said I was going to end at 915. It's 925, but that was really good. I get going

1113
01:24:30.960 --> 01:24:36.640
you all and I get excited. I get excited talking about some of this stuff. God is for you. God is

1114
01:24:36.640 --> 01:24:43.200
for all of you. So remember not just something to quote, but who can be against us if God is for us.

1115
01:24:43.200 --> 01:24:53.440
The devil does not win. He doesn't. So we win because we have Christ and we have God the Father

1116
01:24:53.440 --> 01:24:59.520
and the Holy Spirit partnering together in the Trinity working on our side. Okay. All right. Well,

1117
01:25:01.880 --> 01:25:04.840
Father, thank you for the reminder of who we are in you.

1118
01:25:04.840 --> 01:25:06.520
God, I thank you that you would help us to know

1119
01:25:06.520 --> 01:25:09.800
our identity in Christ more and more.

1120
01:25:09.800 --> 01:25:12.120
God, give us revelation, give us enlightenment.

1121
01:25:12.120 --> 01:25:15.040
God, open our eyes to see what we can't see.

1122
01:25:15.040 --> 01:25:18.160
God, I thank you for healing even as the ladies sleep.

1123
01:25:18.160 --> 01:25:19.520
Sailor rest.

1124
01:25:19.520 --> 01:25:22.040
God, give them sailor rest, awaken dreams within them,

1125
01:25:22.040 --> 01:25:24.480
stir up hunger and thirst and truth.

1126
01:25:24.480 --> 01:25:27.200
God, help them to yes, Lord, see things in your word

1127
01:25:27.200 --> 01:25:28.800
that they haven't seen before.

1128
01:25:28.800 --> 01:25:31.880
God, I do ask you to help us all to grow in the revelation

1129
01:25:31.880 --> 01:25:33.480
of who you are as love.

1130
01:25:33.480 --> 01:25:37.320
God, that you cannot not love us because you are love.

1131
01:25:37.320 --> 01:25:39.680
Literally, you would be rejecting yourself

1132
01:25:39.680 --> 01:25:41.760
because we're made in your image and we're a part of you.

1133
01:25:41.760 --> 01:25:44.600
So God, I thank you that you'll help us to receive the truth

1134
01:25:44.600 --> 01:25:45.800
because that's what sets us free.

1135
01:25:45.800 --> 01:25:47.800
I pray that you would just continue to speak to us

1136
01:25:47.800 --> 01:25:49.240
in the daytime as well.

1137
01:25:49.240 --> 01:25:51.800
We just thank you for supernatural breakthroughs to come,

1138
01:25:51.800 --> 01:25:54.320
one on the heels of another, on another, on another.

1139
01:25:54.320 --> 01:25:55.880
And we just thank you for all these things

1140
01:25:55.880 --> 01:25:58.720
and Jesus name, amen.

1141
01:25:58.720 --> 01:25:59.920
God bless you all.

1142
01:25:59.920 --> 01:26:01.360
Have a great night, everyone.

1143
01:26:01.360 --> 01:26:02.520
See you soon.

1144
01:26:02.520 --> 01:26:03.360
Bye-bye.