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of your coaches here at last year's single. I do the Phase 2 coaching, a lot of the dating

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coaching, and I do heart hurt coaching as well. And oh, thank you, Trina. So good to

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have you on and listening live. And yes, replays, we always have them. But even if you can just

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be here live, it totally is fine. But even if you can't come on camera, it's totally fine.

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But if you can't, I always want to see your face. So, but yeah, I've been out. It feels

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like forever. So some of you may not know me. I am, like I said, I am one of the heart

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hurt coaches here at last year's single. I joined Jackie in 2020, was a student, was

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a single, spent a couple years as a single, did get married and have been coaching her

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now about three years. So it's actually been, it's actually been just about three years.

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So I am so super excited to be here. And I see lots of new faces. And I see lots of

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new posts from a lot of new members that have jumped from Phase 1 to Phase 2. So I am so

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excited to get to know more about you. So we will go ahead and get started. I'm going

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to go ahead and pray for us. And then we will get into our teaching. I want to be mindful

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of the time so that we can really stick to it. Okay. So Heavenly Father, I just thank

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you, Lord. Yes, Jesus. I thank you for this time together and that you're meeting us exactly

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where we are today, Father. Thank you, Jesus. Yes. You know every decision that we are trying

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to make, you know, every disappointment that we're trying to process in every place that

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we're afraid of getting something wrong, Lord. And everywhere that you're still teaching

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us how to trust you, Lord, I wish it was easy. But like we always say here, it doesn't have

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to be easy. It just has to be worth it. And so we thank you for that. Holy Spirit, you

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know, I just ask that you help us lay down any of the pressure that we have to perform,

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that we have to get things perfectly, that we have to follow the rules, and that we have

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to get get everything perfectly aligned and right in order to have the perfect outcome.

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Um, Lord, I just ask that you give us wisdom instead of fear and discernment instead of

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control. Yes, Lord. Thank you, Jesus. I'm going to say with that one, discernment instead

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of control, Father. And help us recognize even when we, we are operating in that control

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because that is one area where I know personally I can, I can get stuck in Lord and get easily

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distracted and, and think that I'm discerning something when in fact it still is me operating

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in control because it's coming from fear, Father. Lord, Lord, I just ask that you release

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that fear and that control today, Lord, and every day forward. Lord, I ask that our hearts

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remain teachable that when you reveal something that we actually have the courage to see it

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and to be vulnerable here in community, to own it and hold ourselves accountable and

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to also give ourselves enough grace to accept that you're just here to teach us. Yes, Lord,

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we just want us to grow and heal Lord. And I thank you for that. Lord, if we're carrying

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any shame over any of our past choices, Father, remind us that you're a redeemer. Yes, you're

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so good where we've already known the wise saying that we, we know to do, but we resist

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to do for whatever that reason is, Lord, just continue to give us that courage. Yes, Jesus.

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Lord, just teach us to live hard work daily. Remind us that it's not something that we

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graduate from, but that you are gently with us day after day after day to keep us on course.

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And all we are asked to do is just to take imperfect action. And that you're with us,

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Lord. In Jesus name, amen. All right, ladies, please make sure that you're muted. I got

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to remember how to mute everybody.

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All right, so ladies, like I said, it has been a minute, but I have been able, since now my internet is working, and yes, my internet is now working this morning too.

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It has been a minute, but I have been able to catch up on all of the post and I want to, I want to do just a couple, first of all.

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Did you guys enjoy having Bethany here last week?

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Wasn't it so good?

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Yes, y'all, I listened to her in the replay and I told her, I said, I don't like being sick, but I was like, God was using it for something good because I miss Bethany's teachings.

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Like, I really do, you know, Bethany and I were actually students together, but she was definitely one of my like close sisters, you know, we've roomed together on the retreat.

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We were definitely very connected and became really, really close because of this community.

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And, you know, she got married and then a year later, literally a year later, I got married.

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And so, and then we, you know, we both have moved, she actually moved to Florida where I used to be, and then I was in Texas now.

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So, but it was just really good.

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It was really good.

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Her teaching is just always, there's just such a piece alone that she carries.

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And so I really hope that y'all were blessed.

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Like I said to her, I said, well, definitely God used it for good because, you know, I definitely needed that piece and that rest.

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And her teaching definitely did that for me.

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And so I hope that it was a tremendous blessing for you.

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And so I'm really, really thankful that she was able to do that.

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Because yeah, that sickness, I was out for the count.

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Like, I think I slept the entire day on which probably needed, but it was just such a reminder of, you know, even as we enter in, like, we're now in 57, 87, the year of rest.

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Like, I don't know about y'all, but God just always has this way of talking to me about, well, I'm going to force you into rest and you're going to be sick.

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And so it was a really good reminder for me to really sit and absorb that.

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So I really hope that was a blessing for you ladies.

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So I appreciate the prayers.

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I don't think we have a whole lot of announcements to really catch up on.

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So if I forget anything, you know, we'll definitely try to keep you posted in the app.

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But as I was catching up with y'all's post in the community, I was noticing something showing up with several different situations.

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And so I noticed it because it was something that I did.

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I am a rule follower by nature.

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Like, that's just me, Lucy, you're shaking your head like, yes, yep, that's me.

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Suffering, you're raising your hand too.

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I'm sure there's many of you that will relate to that.

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And you know, I like to think that I have truly healed from that and have like gotten the total freedom and don't do that anymore.

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But ladies, we don't graduate from hard work.

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We still it still sometimes will want to creep in and and the more that you practice the hard work and get you get comfortable with it, you'll you'll learn to laugh at yourself.

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And I know that's something that Bethany shared last week too is that, you know, you will begin to you embrace the hard work and and really walk in living the hard work.

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And so that's kind of what phase two is all about.

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But I noticed that, you know, a lot of us are trying to make the right decision. We're trying to follow the rules. We're trying to do exactly, you know, like, what do I do so that I can just get the outcome that I want.

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I was totally like this. Like, if I read all the books and I absorbed all the information and I got all the teaching and I did exactly the way that Jackie told me to do.

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Then like the the man would just appear. It would just happen. And it would just be like beautiful and amazing.

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And, you know, and ladies, I will tell you, I worked it that way. I worked this program like that.

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And it led me to a lot of frustration, like I've shared this before in different words, probably, but I've shared this that, you know, I was in this community for a couple of years and was like,

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why is it happening for everybody else and not me?

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I'm doing everything that I'm supposed to be doing.

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Everything that Jackie's doing.

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trying. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I get that. So, um, my notes about

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went flying everywhere. So yeah, I totally, I totally get that.

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And and so I, I recognize it when I see it because I was so I

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hope that you ladies know that as us coaches, as we bring these

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things to surface and we put a little spotlight on them at

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times that it comes from a place of love in a place of, you

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know, we're here to partner with you and walk alongside you.

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And so that you know that you're not alone. You know, and the

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region reason us coaches have the experience that we do is

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because we walked it. Sometimes I'm like, is it, is it a, is

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it a compliment that I am asked to coach? Or is it this one

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really added learn a lot of stuff? So we want, we want her to

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like share all, all the things to not do. Maybe I don't know. But

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anyway, um, I was listening to Jackie's Supernatural Saturday

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and reading up on all your posts and recognizing that and

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something that Jackie said on Saturday. Um, I just haven't

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been able to shake that over the last couple days. And so

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that's why I really want to teach from today. Um, and it was

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this, this idea that there's no version of life where you're

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going to make every decision perfectly.

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You're just not.

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Yeah.

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You're just not going to.

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And it's okay. All right. And so, um, our teaching today, I've

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titled it wisdom over rules because boundaries are wisdom

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in action. And so it really does tie together boundaries really

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well. I love talking about boundaries because I think there's

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so many different aspects of boundaries that we could really

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get into. There's just so many different, um, hey, no worries

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Lucy. Um, so many layers that come with boundaries, but um, I

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really want to focus on the wisdom today and how it's all

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tied together. Because that's the part where I think we, we might

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know the wisdom. We might have learned some of the wisdom, but

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we might get stuck as to, okay, I know this, but why am I not

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choosing to hold these boundaries? Does that make sense?

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So, but anyway, let's go ahead and get into that teaching because

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then maybe it will make more sense for those of you that it

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doesn't. So, um, like I said, definitely saw lots of really

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great things that you all are navigating. And I just want to

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celebrate as always, I love celebrating you ladies, um, the

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growth that, you know, just because you've got the hard work

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and suddenly like you got growth doesn't always mean it's

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going to be easy. Okay. Um, but that I want you to celebrate

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that it's still growth that you're recognizing it sooner. Like

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that's huge. Y'all, I would stay in a toxic relationship for a

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really long time. And then once I had some hard work, I really

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did like, I had to date some, some duds when I finally did allow

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myself to start dating in this community. Um, but it was to my

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benefit because I was like, wow, I really have grown. Hey, how

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about that? And so I don't want you ladies to, um, miss those

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opportunities to celebrate yourselves. So that for anybody

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that's brand brand new to phase two or haven't heard me coach

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before. Um, just know I'm your cheerleader. All right. I'm the

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girl that will be like cheering for you all the time and

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celebrating you. Um, and I'm also the one that will rip the

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band-aids off. So it's like, you know what, just remind me of

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it's like the how many of you've seen the Sour Patch

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commercial? Like there's sour and sweet. Anybody? You haven't

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seen it? No. Oh my gosh, you're gonna have to look it up. Okay.

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It's like, they do the sour thing like rip the band-aid off

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like, oh, that didn't feel good. And then it's like, then they

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come in there just like, oh, but they're so, they're so

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cheerful and they're so nice. Like, I can't be mad at them

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long. Um, so that's who I am. So I'm going to always celebrate

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you ladies. But, um, so let's get you ladies activated first

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again. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I'm looking at the chat.

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I want you to be thinking about something, and I want you to just a couple words in the

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chat, whatever.

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Where have you noticed yourself responding differently than you would have six months

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or a year ago?

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I really want you to think about that, I really want you to sit with that.

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Where are you responding differently?

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Think of yourself like a year ago, okay?

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Jackie's Supernatural said like, "What a difference a year makes."

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How are you responding differently in situations, and it doesn't have to just be dating?

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Ladies, it could be how you handle friendships, it could be how you handle family, it could

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be how you're handling a work situation, it could be, y'all, it could be even how you

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handle and driving down the road.

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I wish I could say I do that better, but I have my days, I live in Texas.

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So those of you that are Texas and the Metroplex of Dallas, y'all, I'm not a fan of the traffic

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here.

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Okay, I got a Zoom user, I don't know exactly who that is, but I see your face, the beautiful,

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more restraint and self-control.

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So you're keeping those standards high, but you're not settling.

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So I'm going to ask you, I'm going to probe a little bit, are you someone who in the past

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would just typically settle and just accept and just take whatever was handed?

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You might not be able to unmute, but if you can, that's fine, you've got to find it.

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Okay, I got it.

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So I'm Stephanie, I don't know why my Zoom keeps, Stephanie, I don't know why I keep

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showing the wrong picture, but anyways, yeah, so absolutely, like a thousand percent before

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it was like, especially, I mean, really in anything that, especially in my dating relationships,

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I would just literally settle for anything because I'm like, I can't do one better, I

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can't get any better, you know, like, this is, and yeah, that's what I did with my excellence.

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It was terrible.

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I didn't need it when I knew it was bad because I was like, you know, I'm 13, probably because

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I had to 10, I'm 37, you know, if I want to help kids, like, I was always like, the enemy

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was always putting lies in my head, um, it's that I was leaving them scarcity mindset, right?

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That or mentality.

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Yeah.

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Absolutely.

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I did the same thing with my job.

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I'm like, I could never get a better job.

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I mean, we're getting the most beautiful, like, so many things, but yeah, absolutely.

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Yeah.

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Yeah, having that balance is so important.

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So I love that you're recognizing that because that's really, really good.

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So what I'm going to encourage you to do in this season, because what can happen and

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I share this from experience is that we can go from one extreme to the next.

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So it's about really wanting to find that balance in there.

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So I love that you're recognizing like, Hey, I don't need to settle anymore, but I also

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don't want it to become to this point where it's like you build up all these walls and

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like all of a sudden it's like, nobody can get in.

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You know, so keep that in mind and just be praying about that.

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And you know, this is where, you know, wisdom and this community and discernment really,

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really live.

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And yeah, and that's when boundaries really, really come into place too.

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So thank you for sharing that.

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Okay.

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I'm going to go on here and see what else y'all are sharing here.

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What else y'all have been recognizing that you're doing differently attitude and peace.

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That's so good.

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Yeah, Safri, I love that you setting up that dating profile.

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I read your update and that was so good.

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And I, you know, you have you got some grief going on right now.

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So I, I want you to just be able to rest in that.

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And I think just celebrating the fact that you made the profile that's like that's growth.

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It doesn't have to look a certain way.

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So that's really, really good.

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Tracy you're in a small town in Texas.

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So you might not have the driving that I have over here.

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I do like driving like in the country in the small parts of Texas.

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It just takes forever to get there.

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But Lucy, you're more at peace with conversations that yes, I've noticed that as well, like you

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are more grounded and centered with your questions too.

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I've noticed that over the last several months.

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And the courage, yes, girl, like, was it like a couple months ago?

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Was it a couple months ago?

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Maybe it was just a month ago.

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the courage that you had to speak up to the.

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And I loved, that was such a beautiful example of like what heart work, like how growth really

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looks in heart work.

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And so I'm thankful that you noticed that courage too.

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So, and I see, okay, yep, thinking yes, yes, yes, always about your thinking, yes, yes.

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The Peggy, it's so good to see you on here, yes, you've been incredible.

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She is asking so many curious questions and speaking up on setting boundaries, ladies,

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can I just celebrate like, y'all are coming up with some really good stuff here?

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I want to keep moving because we do have a lot to cover.

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And Jennifer, good to see you.

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Are you at work?

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Is that your office?

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It just looks different.

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I feel like the background is slightly different than what I'm used to seeing.

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Gotcha, conference room, okay, cool.

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My second, I was like, oh, did you get a day off?

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Okay, so let's go ahead and jump into our teaching and our heart work, okay.

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One of the things that Jackie said, and I love this saying when she said it, I'm like,

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yes, it's one of my favorite, favorite sayings and something that I've heard for a really

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long time is, stop shitting on yourself, just stop, okay.

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And I really think that's what many of us need the permission to hear, because there's

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no such thing of living a life where you're going to make the right decision.

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I said that earlier, you're going to have missteps.

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That's life.

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You know, I always tell my kids and even when I was a school teacher before I even had kids,

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I would always tell my students and I tell my kids this all the time, failure is your

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biggest teacher.

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It literally is, you know, and my youngest, gosh, bless him, because he struggles with

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dyslexia and he frequently is like, I'm stupid, I'm stupid, and I'm like, he has this idea

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that he has to be like, perfect, and I'm like, but if you were, if you knew everything,

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you wouldn't be in fifth grade, like you wouldn't be in fifth grade, like you'd be in the next

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grade, you're not supposed to know everything.

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That's why we have school, you're supposed to make those mistakes.

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You know, I told, you know, in my older teenage kids, they don't like it, but when they don't

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get a great grade on some of their big assignments, I make them go and redo it.

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And I'm like, look, this is an accomplishment, this is a learning opportunity.

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You know, you didn't know the material.

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So let's make sure you know the material.

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Let's figure out what you did wrong and let's correct it.

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You know, let's really capitalize on that opportunity where we can grow and we get to

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learn something new.

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Hey, look, I found something I don't know.

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And so now I get to learn something, like, so about perspective, right?

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And so, and I know, ladies, when something hurts and it doesn't go the way that we hoped,

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it's really easy to go into this, well, I should have known it and I'm just not smart

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and I'm so stupid.

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Why did I let myself do that again?

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Oh, I should have seen this, this happens all the time.

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You know, I knew better, right?

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I've seen some of that in the, in the app, in some of your posts, the, you're shouldn't,

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you're shouldn't yourself, like, I should have done this, I should have done that.

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Oh, like, we're going and we're living in the past and we're dwelling on it.

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We're sitting in the junk of it, okay?

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It doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt and you're not allowed to grieve and you're not

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allowed to feel it.

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We just don't want you to stay stuck there.

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It's what do you do with it, when you're feeling it, okay?

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Because heart work is not about being perfect.

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It's about partnering with God.

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You know, it's having that posture because God doesn't have the posture like I told you

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so, you should have listened to me.

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Some of us may have a lens where we look at God like that and I think even Jackie mentioned

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If we have this thought or we hear God saying to us,

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I told you so, you should have listened to me.

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Then that's an area of hard work

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because that's not God's voice.

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That could be a parent's voice.

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That could be a teacher's voice.

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That could be a former relationship,

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a former spouse's voice, a former boyfriend's voice.

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I told you, you're not smart enough.

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You should have listened to me.

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That's not God, okay?

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God's voice is gonna say, come here.

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Let me show you what I can teach you.

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He wants connection.

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He wants relationship.

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He wants partnership.

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So why is he gonna say something to you

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that's gonna put you in a place of shame

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and wanting to go run and hide?

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No, he wants to invite you to be with him.

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That's his heart.

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And so, ladies, I want you to put in the chat,

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what is something that you have been

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shooting yourself lately?

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Like what is something that you have been,

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you know, within last week or two?

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Have you recently been doing that?

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If so, what is it, what's that look like?

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I want you to really sit with this

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'cause we're gonna release some of that.

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Anybody, I know there's some of you

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'cause I've seen the chats.

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I've seen the app.

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He's got a partnership, why would she say things

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to cause us to pull away and shame?

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Okay, oh, you're perfect, okay, awesome.

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Yes, yes, amen.

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Not staying consistent in your business, okay?

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So you're kind of like beating yourself up

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that you haven't been consistent with yourself.

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Someone's, again, like not finishing your book.

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Kind of probably putting some guilt on you.

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Okay, training that you paid for,

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that's gonna help you with your finances,

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but you haven't started yet, yeah.

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I get that.

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Feeling bad that,

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feeling bad that you've kept someone waiting two and a half

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years and that you still don't know what to do.

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Cynthia, we're praying, praying, praying over that.

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I know you have been, you have been,

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you've been praying on that for a while.

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So we're gonna be lifting you up.

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And I'm glad that you're on today

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'cause I was thinking about you the other day.

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I was wondering how things were going.

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Wondering why you're withdrawing,

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spending time with God sometimes.

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Mm, that's a good one.

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'Cause that one, that one, the thing that comes

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at the My Spirit is why is spending time

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with God look like withdrawal?

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That's interesting.

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I like that.

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Oh.

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For some reason, my computer just,

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y'all see me still?

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Okay, good.

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Good, good, good stuff.

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All right, healthy eating, exercise,

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not overdoing it, sliding back into unhealthy habits.

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I should be more consistent.

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And then it leads to anxiety.

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Should be better at cleaning my home, girl.

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Laura, I feel you on that one.

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That is it, that's just, that's a battle for me frequently.

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Frequently, especially when I've been sick,

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it's just been night, ugh.

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So I feel you on that one.

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Ladies, so I like, I want you to see,

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let's stop here for a minute.

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And as I was reading this, where do you think

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or where do you yourself know it leads you?

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How do you start feeling about yourself?

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Where do your thoughts go?

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What do you start speaking over yourself?

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You

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[BLANK_AUDIO]

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It's defeat. Yes. Shame. Disempowerment. It's hopelessness. Right? So when we start sitting

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there and saying, "Oh, I needed to do something a certain way. I should have done this. I should

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have been better." Y'all, the pattern is always going to lead you down that same path. You're going

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to go right towards the negativity. And it's just not good. It's just not good. It reminds me,

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this just came up with my spirit. It's not even in my notes. You know, Jackie always says,

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"What you believe you become, what you become, you attract." So ladies, if you're believing

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negative things about yourself, you're going to start thinking that's who you are. And if you start

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adopting and aligning with that being who you are, you're going to then just only attract people

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that will look at you in the way that you think you are. Does that make sense?

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And so it really is. I know some of you ladies have been sharing, like, my thinking is different.

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And that's good. And ladies, I also, I feel like I really need to say this because

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it's really easy to get teachings like this. And it takes us to another level of shame. And I

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really want to break that off. I really want to break that off. So this teaching here, ladies,

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is not, it's not to bring more shame. It is not. So if you're feeling that, let's release that.

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Yes, content in all circumstances. Absolutely. Okay. I do not want you to hear what is not

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being sad. Okay. Because it is a daily surrender. Your thinking is a daily surrender. Hold your

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thoughts captive. I really, truly believe there's a reason that scripture is in the Bible.

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Because God knew our thinking every day was be a challenge. The spiritual warfare that goes on,

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it's a daily surrender. So ladies, if you, if you've fallen yourself, or you found yourself

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00:32:50.560 --> 00:32:55.840
fallen into this, like, Oh, I started thinking negative again. Don't beat yourself up. That's

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the whole purpose. Like, don't then now beat yourself up because you're negative. That's just like,

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00:33:01.600 --> 00:33:09.680
silly, right? It's, Oh, you know what? Thank you, Lord, for helping me recognize that.

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Because now I get a whole my thoughts captive. Because I'm not going to align with that. All

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00:33:15.520 --> 00:33:23.600
right. All right, let's keep moving. So yeah, we definitely need to keep moving because I am

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00:33:23.600 --> 00:33:32.640
behind, y'all. So the next part is letting what happen become wisdom. Okay, this is the part that

400
00:33:32.640 --> 00:33:41.360
I often feels it gets missed. Okay, like God is not revealing all of all of the weak places

401
00:33:41.360 --> 00:33:47.280
so that you can stare at it with shame. Okay, he's revealing it so that he can strengthen you.

402
00:33:47.280 --> 00:33:56.960
Jackie mentioned Amos 9 11 is one of our banner scriptures for this community when she started it.

403
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It really is about restoration and rebuilding ladies. And so what I want you to practice

404
00:34:07.280 --> 00:34:15.360
when you find yourself, because ladies, you will, you will find yourself going down the rabbit hole

405
00:34:15.360 --> 00:34:21.360
into thinking negative. Ladies, I've been in this community for six weeks. I had been or six weeks.

406
00:34:22.800 --> 00:34:30.159
Let's hope not six years. I've been here for six years before that. I was in, gosh, probably seven

407
00:34:30.159 --> 00:34:38.719
to eight years of therapy. Okay, so I've got a good like decade and a half. Yeah, a solid decade

408
00:34:38.719 --> 00:34:46.239
and a half of lots of therapy, lots of coaching, lots of, you know, book reading, lots of all the

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00:34:46.239 --> 00:34:56.880
things. Okay. And I still find myself here. Your coach, the one that's coaching you not to think

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00:34:56.880 --> 00:34:59.840
negatively. Guess what? I'm not perfect.

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00:35:00.840 --> 00:35:04.800
Those, those who don't do teach,

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00:35:04.800 --> 00:35:06.440
is that what the saying is?

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00:35:06.440 --> 00:35:08.400
(laughs)

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00:35:08.400 --> 00:35:13.200
So yeah, like, that's, that's totally fine, ladies.

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00:35:13.200 --> 00:35:16.520
So, 'cause you will, you will fall into that trap.

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00:35:16.520 --> 00:35:20.240
So now I want you to put some tools in your toolbox.

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00:35:20.240 --> 00:35:21.360
'Cause these are some of the questions

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00:35:21.360 --> 00:35:23.160
that you're gonna ask yourself.

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00:35:23.160 --> 00:35:26.380
You're gonna ask yourself, what does this reveal?

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00:35:26.380 --> 00:35:28.940
What did I learn?

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00:35:29.940 --> 00:35:32.460
What do I know now that I didn't know before?

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00:35:32.460 --> 00:35:35.300
That one is one of my favorites.

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00:35:35.300 --> 00:35:39.300
What do I know now that I didn't before?

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Because simply, sometimes what happens is

425
00:35:41.860 --> 00:35:45.020
we get information later in life,

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00:35:45.020 --> 00:35:46.940
then we'll go look at our past,

427
00:35:46.940 --> 00:35:49.100
and then we'll start beating ourselves up for the past,

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00:35:49.100 --> 00:35:52.780
but we didn't know what we just learned.

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00:35:52.780 --> 00:35:57.140
Ladies, if I had this hard work,

430
00:35:58.060 --> 00:35:59.820
a decade and a half ago,

431
00:35:59.820 --> 00:36:05.300
yeah, I could have probably saved myself a lot of heartbreak,

432
00:36:05.300 --> 00:36:09.820
but I can't go back a decade and a half ago

433
00:36:09.820 --> 00:36:14.820
and blame myself and shame myself

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00:36:14.820 --> 00:36:17.500
because I hadn't had the hard work.

435
00:36:17.500 --> 00:36:21.700
That information wasn't given to me, okay?

436
00:36:21.700 --> 00:36:23.940
There were things that happened in my life

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00:36:23.940 --> 00:36:28.420
that led me to where hard work was necessary,

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00:36:28.420 --> 00:36:31.340
and then I was able to embrace it and absorb it

439
00:36:31.340 --> 00:36:36.340
and really, really learn from it, okay?

440
00:36:36.340 --> 00:36:40.580
And then you can ask,

441
00:36:40.580 --> 00:36:42.260
but this is where the other question is,

442
00:36:42.260 --> 00:36:44.460
what can I do differently next time?

443
00:36:44.460 --> 00:36:46.020
So it doesn't mean that you don't look back

444
00:36:46.020 --> 00:36:50.900
and be like, oh, that's what happened.

445
00:36:50.900 --> 00:36:53.660
I now have different information,

446
00:36:53.660 --> 00:36:57.860
so if something like that happens again or similar,

447
00:36:57.860 --> 00:37:00.540
I'm gonna do something differently now.

448
00:37:00.540 --> 00:37:02.220
That's wisdom, ladies.

449
00:37:02.220 --> 00:37:06.460
That's wisdom forming, okay?

450
00:37:06.460 --> 00:37:11.540
Growth isn't about not getting it wrong, okay?

451
00:37:11.540 --> 00:37:13.500
It's about recognizing it sooner

452
00:37:13.500 --> 00:37:18.100
and responding differently and returning to God more quickly.

453
00:37:18.100 --> 00:37:22.300
Yes, what does it reveal?

454
00:37:22.300 --> 00:37:23.460
What have you learned?

455
00:37:23.460 --> 00:37:27.060
What do I know now that I didn't before

456
00:37:27.060 --> 00:37:30.500
and what might I do differently next time?

457
00:37:30.500 --> 00:37:38.220
Did you get those, Sarah Shell?

458
00:37:38.220 --> 00:37:39.940
The last one, okay, perfect.

459
00:37:39.940 --> 00:37:43.980
Okay, so everyone got that?

460
00:37:43.980 --> 00:37:47.980
That's wisdom, okay?

461
00:37:50.460 --> 00:37:53.380
Like I said, I've been three years of therapy,

462
00:37:53.380 --> 00:37:55.500
lots of not-so-great relationships

463
00:37:55.500 --> 00:37:57.660
was in this community, you know,

464
00:37:57.660 --> 00:38:01.820
single for two years, dating engaged for a year,

465
00:38:01.820 --> 00:38:06.820
and then I've now been coaching married for three years, okay?

466
00:38:06.820 --> 00:38:11.180
So wisdom is knowledge, right?

467
00:38:11.180 --> 00:38:15.260
And I know I was joking earlier about,

468
00:38:15.260 --> 00:38:17.700
is it a compliment that I'm getting asked to coach

469
00:38:17.700 --> 00:38:20.980
or is it the fact that maybe I just have a lot of experience

470
00:38:20.980 --> 00:38:23.500
of not doing things the right way?

471
00:38:23.500 --> 00:38:25.180
Who knows, all right?

472
00:38:25.180 --> 00:38:28.180
So, but that's what, you know,

473
00:38:28.180 --> 00:38:30.620
I want you ladies to embrace

474
00:38:30.620 --> 00:38:34.260
like what we have here in this community, okay?

475
00:38:34.260 --> 00:38:35.860
You're not gonna hurt any of our feelings

476
00:38:35.860 --> 00:38:39.140
if you don't listen to us, okay?

477
00:38:39.140 --> 00:38:41.540
Just know that, all right?

478
00:38:41.540 --> 00:38:47.180
Are we gonna pray for you, absolutely.

479
00:38:47.180 --> 00:38:48.980
'Cause I will, you know, we'll be honest.

480
00:38:48.980 --> 00:38:52.140
Like we do see ladies that will repeat patterns

481
00:38:52.140 --> 00:38:55.140
and we'll frequently coach you ladies

482
00:38:55.140 --> 00:38:57.580
some of the same things over and over again.

483
00:38:57.580 --> 00:38:59.900
And there's grace, there is so much grace.

484
00:38:59.900 --> 00:39:01.140
Y'all, I needed so much grace.

485
00:39:01.140 --> 00:39:05.180
I still need so much grace, you know?

486
00:39:05.180 --> 00:39:07.900
Let me tell you, grace is something

487
00:39:07.900 --> 00:39:09.020
that you're gonna wanna receive

488
00:39:09.020 --> 00:39:10.060
and you're gonna wanna receive it well

489
00:39:10.060 --> 00:39:11.340
and you wanna be able to give grace well

490
00:39:11.340 --> 00:39:13.540
because you're gonna need that in your marriages, all right?

491
00:39:13.540 --> 00:39:16.060
(laughs)

492
00:39:16.060 --> 00:39:20.300
But that's what's so powerful about this community

493
00:39:20.300 --> 00:39:25.300
is that there is a lot of wisdom here, okay?

494
00:39:25.300 --> 00:39:27.940
We have ladies that have been in the program

495
00:39:27.940 --> 00:39:31.300
for a little while, a lot of us coaches,

496
00:39:31.300 --> 00:39:32.820
we've all been through the program,

497
00:39:32.820 --> 00:39:34.260
we've all been through the hard work

498
00:39:34.260 --> 00:39:36.420
and we've been here for a number of years.

499
00:39:36.420 --> 00:39:43.300
So, you know, I really want you to look at it as a gift.

500
00:39:44.580 --> 00:39:49.140
Look at information as a gift to gain the wisdom, okay?

501
00:39:49.140 --> 00:39:54.340
Now, what can typically happen though is,

502
00:39:54.340 --> 00:39:58.420
and this was me, is we look at wisdom

503
00:39:58.420 --> 00:40:00.020
and then it's like, now we have to

504
00:40:01.500 --> 00:40:03.300
If I have all this wisdom,

505
00:40:03.300 --> 00:40:06.940
then I have to do it this way and this way only.

506
00:40:06.940 --> 00:40:08.180
Because if I don't do it this way,

507
00:40:08.180 --> 00:40:10.620
then I'm gonna get a bad outcome.

508
00:40:10.620 --> 00:40:12.900
And ladies, we're gonna break that off too.

509
00:40:12.900 --> 00:40:13.740
Okay.

510
00:40:13.740 --> 00:40:21.460
'Cause that's how our hearts typically will take the wisdom

511
00:40:21.460 --> 00:40:23.420
and it'll turn it into control.

512
00:40:23.420 --> 00:40:28.860
And I know this 'cause I'm someone who is frequently

513
00:40:28.860 --> 00:40:30.600
daily surrender to control.

514
00:40:30.600 --> 00:40:35.180
It's one of those things I release pickup, release pickup,

515
00:40:35.180 --> 00:40:36.340
release pickup.

516
00:40:36.340 --> 00:40:37.180
Okay.

517
00:40:37.180 --> 00:40:39.500
(laughs)

518
00:40:39.500 --> 00:40:41.540
It happens, right?

519
00:40:41.540 --> 00:40:47.420
So we start asking ourselves like, how many dates

520
00:40:47.420 --> 00:40:51.300
do I have to be on before I actually know

521
00:40:51.300 --> 00:40:54.780
if this guy's my husband, right?

522
00:40:54.780 --> 00:40:56.100
That was always a big one.

523
00:40:57.220 --> 00:40:59.540
Like, should I never initiate?

524
00:40:59.540 --> 00:41:03.140
You know, is he allowed to pick me up?

525
00:41:03.140 --> 00:41:04.140
Should I go to his house?

526
00:41:04.140 --> 00:41:05.980
Should I invite him to my house?

527
00:41:05.980 --> 00:41:10.740
All those kinds of things, ladies, okay?

528
00:41:10.740 --> 00:41:13.540
And underneath the question,

529
00:41:13.540 --> 00:41:18.380
it's not really Lord, what is wise?

530
00:41:18.380 --> 00:41:21.740
It's more like, so like, that's what we want.

531
00:41:21.740 --> 00:41:23.260
Like we want the wisdom,

532
00:41:23.260 --> 00:41:25.660
but the way it turns out is,

533
00:41:25.660 --> 00:41:30.060
please give me the rule so I can guarantee the outcome.

534
00:41:30.060 --> 00:41:31.740
So I don't get hurt.

535
00:41:31.740 --> 00:41:34.900
I want the rule so I can be guaranteed

536
00:41:34.900 --> 00:41:36.260
I'm not gonna get hurt again.

537
00:41:36.260 --> 00:41:43.780
So that's why we sometimes we ask our coaches,

538
00:41:43.780 --> 00:41:44.780
what do I do?

539
00:41:44.780 --> 00:41:45.820
What do I do?

540
00:41:45.820 --> 00:41:46.660
What do I do?

541
00:41:46.660 --> 00:41:47.500
I wanna do it differently.

542
00:41:47.500 --> 00:41:48.580
And I love that posture.

543
00:41:48.580 --> 00:41:51.660
I love that heart to be like, I'm here to grow

544
00:41:51.660 --> 00:41:53.100
and do things differently.

545
00:41:53.940 --> 00:41:58.940
All right, not saying that that is a bad thing.

546
00:41:58.940 --> 00:42:04.900
But I want you ladies to also not put so much pressure

547
00:42:04.900 --> 00:42:08.220
on it having to look a certain way.

548
00:42:08.220 --> 00:42:11.300
Okay.

549
00:42:11.300 --> 00:42:15.540
Lucy, is this resonating with you girl?

550
00:42:15.540 --> 00:42:17.780
(laughing)

551
00:42:17.780 --> 00:42:21.980
I love seeing your expressions, I love it.

552
00:42:22.980 --> 00:42:26.340
Again, I was this girl, I was the rule follower,

553
00:42:26.340 --> 00:42:28.860
so I get it and I did not wanna get hurt again.

554
00:42:28.860 --> 00:42:31.100
I had been hurt so many times.

555
00:42:31.100 --> 00:42:35.420
And so that's not, you know,

556
00:42:35.420 --> 00:42:38.980
when we think we're coming up with these rules,

557
00:42:38.980 --> 00:42:42.620
we think, oh, this is wisdom and I have to do this.

558
00:42:42.620 --> 00:42:45.940
Well, there's a line that it will cross

559
00:42:45.940 --> 00:42:50.940
where it becomes more of control than it is a surrender, okay?

560
00:42:51.940 --> 00:42:55.300
Because fear is gonna want a guarantee.

561
00:42:55.300 --> 00:42:59.000
Fear wants a guarantee.

562
00:42:59.000 --> 00:43:02.020
Wisdom is gonna give you guardrails.

563
00:43:02.020 --> 00:43:06.240
You will hear myself and Ebony say it all the time.

564
00:43:06.240 --> 00:43:10.380
We don't have rules in here, we have guardrails.

565
00:43:10.380 --> 00:43:15.740
So ladies, I'll just say it, some of you need

566
00:43:15.740 --> 00:43:17.620
to push yourselves over that guardrail,

567
00:43:17.620 --> 00:43:20.380
'cause some of you need to learn something.

568
00:43:20.380 --> 00:43:22.060
I love you, but to do.

569
00:43:22.060 --> 00:43:24.460
That was me, okay?

570
00:43:24.460 --> 00:43:26.380
I'm that difficult child.

571
00:43:26.380 --> 00:43:27.940
(laughing)

572
00:43:27.940 --> 00:43:32.100
I had to, like I'm the child that like,

573
00:43:32.100 --> 00:43:33.220
I had to learn the hard way.

574
00:43:33.220 --> 00:43:34.340
It wasn't like that when I was younger,

575
00:43:34.340 --> 00:43:37.420
but once I like hit my late teens

576
00:43:37.420 --> 00:43:39.900
and like young adult years, y'all,

577
00:43:39.900 --> 00:43:42.740
I had to learn the hard way.

578
00:43:42.740 --> 00:43:45.100
Okay, I'm not saying that I want you ladies too,

579
00:43:45.100 --> 00:43:46.940
but I'm saying there will be a few of you

580
00:43:48.140 --> 00:43:51.660
that don't think that you're gonna sneak by

581
00:43:51.660 --> 00:43:55.340
and be like, I don't have to follow this guardrail.

582
00:43:55.340 --> 00:43:57.540
I don't need to stay within this boundary.

583
00:43:57.540 --> 00:43:59.580
Okay.

584
00:43:59.580 --> 00:44:03.700
I'll be dialing 911.

585
00:44:03.700 --> 00:44:07.460
I'll get the ambulance ready, all right?

586
00:44:07.460 --> 00:44:10.780
And we'll be here and we'll be here and we'll help you, okay?

587
00:44:10.780 --> 00:44:13.380
I'm not gonna leave you stranded, all right?

588
00:44:13.380 --> 00:44:17.340
Rules are gonna tell you exactly what to do

589
00:44:17.340 --> 00:44:19.020
so you don't get it wrong.

590
00:44:19.020 --> 00:44:23.020
That's what a rule is, okay?

591
00:44:23.020 --> 00:44:27.740
Wisdom is Lord, with what I know today,

592
00:44:27.740 --> 00:44:29.620
what is the next faithful step?

593
00:44:29.620 --> 00:44:38.280
Y'all, following the Lord is, it looks risky.

594
00:44:38.280 --> 00:44:46.060
Yeah, I see, I see some of you are like,

595
00:44:46.060 --> 00:44:46.900
yeah.

596
00:44:46.900 --> 00:44:53.340
I'm sure we all have some testimony

597
00:44:53.340 --> 00:44:55.180
where the Lord has really stretched us

598
00:44:55.180 --> 00:44:57.500
and we were scared to do what the Lord said

599
00:44:57.500 --> 00:45:01.060
'cause we didn't know what it's gonna look like.

600
00:45:14.420 --> 00:45:23.360
because of it, but it doesn't mean that you're not going to still face some struggles.

601
00:45:23.360 --> 00:45:38.980
Okay, let's keep moving. I might skip some of this portion so we can get through.

602
00:45:38.980 --> 00:45:45.360
Boundaries are wisdom in action. That's our next section here. A healthy boundary is wisdom

603
00:45:45.360 --> 00:45:53.340
you have chosen to practice. Okay, boundaries are not about punishing you. They're not

604
00:45:53.340 --> 00:45:59.560
walls around your heart. They're not attempts to eliminate you from all risks. And they're

605
00:45:59.560 --> 00:46:10.240
not last your single rules. Okay. There are some that we strongly encourage, strongly

606
00:46:10.240 --> 00:46:15.960
encourage. And I will tell you, there have been some ladies that they're like, look,

607
00:46:15.960 --> 00:46:25.980
I'm going to listen to them because they must know. And then there's some people are like,

608
00:46:25.980 --> 00:46:31.300
it's like, don't put the red button, you're going to go push the red button, right? Okay,

609
00:46:31.300 --> 00:46:40.600
we have, we do. Okay. So just know, we get it. The guardrails are going to allow us

610
00:46:40.600 --> 00:46:46.540
to remain and discovery long enough to be able to gather that good information. Okay, so

611
00:46:46.540 --> 00:46:49.860
that's what discovery dating is all about. It's gathering information and that information

612
00:46:49.860 --> 00:46:57.020
is wisdom. That wisdom then leads to discernment. That wisdom is going to help you draw clear

613
00:46:57.020 --> 00:47:07.740
boundaries. It was mentioned, girl, you are like my daughter. That is exactly what my

614
00:47:07.740 --> 00:47:13.440
daughter would say. Y'all, we have an argument in the car frequently. We call out colors

615
00:47:13.440 --> 00:47:18.920
of cars, like odd colors, like things that you don't typically see, like orange and yellow

616
00:47:18.920 --> 00:47:23.680
and green. You don't typically see those cars. And so we call them like fruits and stuff.

617
00:47:23.680 --> 00:47:30.060
And I'll be like, Oh, yellow, banana. And she's like, mom, that's orange. I'm like,

618
00:47:30.060 --> 00:47:36.980
girl, it's yellow. It's like a yellow school bus color. And she calls it like, no, that's

619
00:47:36.980 --> 00:47:43.540
orange. I'm like, no, it's not. It's literally you saying that just reminded me of that.

620
00:47:43.540 --> 00:47:51.020
And she is she's my she's my child that she going to learn the hard way. And let me tell

621
00:47:51.020 --> 00:47:56.660
you a blend in a family. She's not my birth baby. Right? She's not my birth baby. She's

622
00:47:56.660 --> 00:48:02.780
my bonus daughter. And she's the one that I had probably the most challenge challenges

623
00:48:02.780 --> 00:48:10.740
with in the very beginning. And y'all, she was the one that had to learn the hard way.

624
00:48:10.740 --> 00:48:18.100
But she did learn. She's come very, very far. I'm very, very proud of her. So yeah, that

625
00:48:18.100 --> 00:48:26.740
those those those information, those those things that you're collecting and you're gathering,

626
00:48:26.740 --> 00:48:35.700
those are going to be able for you to use to help you draw those boundaries. Okay. So

627
00:48:35.700 --> 00:48:41.740
for an example, if y'all, you know, I'm just going to use one. I think I saw it earlier.

628
00:48:41.740 --> 00:48:46.900
I think it maybe was last week or something. The, and this is, this is one of those where

629
00:48:46.900 --> 00:48:52.820
I'm going to say this is a big, big guardrail. Okay. And the only reason I'm saying this

630
00:48:52.820 --> 00:49:01.180
is because I, yeah, I do think I saw it last week. How many of you, actually, I don't know

631
00:49:01.180 --> 00:49:08.540
if I'm going to ask it that way, going out for dates, first dates, getting to know somebody.

632
00:49:08.540 --> 00:49:13.400
You've had a couple of conversations, right? I'm just going to use an example from one

633
00:49:13.400 --> 00:49:20.020
of my dating experiences. Actually, I think I've shared this before. This one guy, he

634
00:49:20.020 --> 00:49:25.420
said it was a believer, went to a church in, in, in the town that I, you know, lived in,

635
00:49:25.420 --> 00:49:31.820
knew what church he went to. He offered to pick me up on a first date. Y'all, I gave

636
00:49:31.820 --> 00:49:47.660
him my address. I gave him the code to the gate to get into my neighborhood. First date.

637
00:49:47.660 --> 00:49:52.660
How many of you would have done that? And what would you have, why would you have allowed

638
00:49:52.660 --> 00:50:00.060
that? What would have, what would have been what you, what would you have allowed

639
00:50:05.140 --> 00:50:07.580
nothing wrong with that."

640
00:50:07.580 --> 00:50:14.380
This is, again, this is not just shaming you, 'cause y'all, I did it.

641
00:50:14.380 --> 00:50:15.380
He's a believer.

642
00:50:15.380 --> 00:50:16.380
He's a believer?

643
00:50:16.380 --> 00:50:19.140
He's not a bad guy.

644
00:50:19.140 --> 00:50:24.140
Okay, I love that you're honest.

645
00:50:24.140 --> 00:50:26.300
I wouldn't have done that 'cause I'm an avoidant, okay?

646
00:50:26.300 --> 00:50:28.160
I love it.

647
00:50:28.160 --> 00:50:32.800
I love you wouldn't, and I love that, like some of you wouldn't, all right?

648
00:50:32.800 --> 00:50:40.840
Yes, Sarah Schell, that was exactly what was in my mind.

649
00:50:40.840 --> 00:50:47.080
She called it, and I know you're not judging me at all.

650
00:50:47.080 --> 00:50:55.640
No, there was somebody in the chat was like, said that, no, but yes, that is exactly what

651
00:50:55.640 --> 00:50:56.640
I thought.

652
00:50:56.640 --> 00:51:03.920
How chivalrous, you know, I have been burned by a lot of, like, crappy men.

653
00:51:03.920 --> 00:51:10.360
So when this guy offered to come, like, pick me up, I thought, "Well, this must be different."

654
00:51:10.360 --> 00:51:15.000
He's a believer, and he's just going to honor me and be like a knight in shining armor and

655
00:51:15.000 --> 00:51:16.000
come pick me up.

656
00:51:16.000 --> 00:51:22.160
Y'all, I was scared to death on this day 'cause we were driving, and he starts, like, dishing

657
00:51:22.160 --> 00:51:28.400
out all these details about his former girlfriend and the alcohol problems that she had and

658
00:51:28.400 --> 00:51:35.280
the alcohol problems that he had, and I'm just like, and y'all, I had experienced with

659
00:51:35.280 --> 00:51:40.080
a drug addict alcohol in my past, and, like, I'm sitting here like, "What did I just get

660
00:51:40.080 --> 00:51:42.480
myself into this man knows where I live?"

661
00:51:42.480 --> 00:51:50.960
Yeah, we think, we know, and we're thinking, "Oh, well, this is a really nice guy."

662
00:51:50.960 --> 00:51:58.520
I also see a lot of ladies in here, like, "But Carly, he's in our community.

663
00:51:58.520 --> 00:52:00.560
He's in our community.

664
00:52:00.560 --> 00:52:04.000
Ladies, it doesn't matter.

665
00:52:04.000 --> 00:52:08.920
Take this as wisdom.

666
00:52:08.920 --> 00:52:14.720
That person has not earned that level of trust yet.

667
00:52:14.720 --> 00:52:19.200
Doesn't mean that you have to be scared of them.

668
00:52:19.200 --> 00:52:30.600
But it means that you're not going to let them come and cross a boundary and have access

669
00:52:30.600 --> 00:52:39.380
to something that, when the relationship hasn't been established quite yet, when that trust

670
00:52:39.380 --> 00:52:40.680
has not been built.

671
00:52:40.680 --> 00:52:41.680
Okay?

672
00:52:41.680 --> 00:52:45.520
And there's so many other things that we could talk about with boundaries.

673
00:52:45.520 --> 00:52:52.800
There's so many, but that's one example of just safety and access, okay?

674
00:52:52.800 --> 00:52:57.160
Not sharing your address, like, "Y'all, don't go to their houses."

675
00:52:57.160 --> 00:53:01.640
And I say this, and I don't like to bring this up often, but I am, because, like I said,

676
00:53:01.640 --> 00:53:06.240
I think I've seen this in our community, and I'm not saying this to scare you all.

677
00:53:06.240 --> 00:53:11.840
I'm saying this because we need to say it, because the unfortunate things have happened.

678
00:53:11.840 --> 00:53:20.360
We had, I think it was, about two years ago, we had a lady in our community who went on

679
00:53:20.360 --> 00:53:21.360
a date with someone.

680
00:53:21.360 --> 00:53:23.400
It might have even been like a second date with somebody.

681
00:53:23.400 --> 00:53:31.840
I don't know, it's been a while, so I don't know the details exactly.

682
00:53:31.840 --> 00:53:38.480
But she ended up either inviting him to her house, or she went to his house.

683
00:53:38.480 --> 00:53:49.760
I think it was like maybe the second date, and y'all, she got sexually assaulted.

684
00:53:49.760 --> 00:54:00.080
And this was after we had communicated very strongly for her to not do that, and we were

685
00:54:00.080 --> 00:54:08.400
giving the wisdom there, and I'm not saying that she deserved to be treated that way,

686
00:54:08.400 --> 00:54:16.400
because no one does, I mean, it was awful.

687
00:54:16.400 --> 00:54:27.120
But I also want you ladies to understand, like, what gift of wisdom and information is.

688
00:54:27.120 --> 00:54:33.000
Not to put you in a fearful state, but to put you in a place of discernment.

689
00:54:33.000 --> 00:54:41.160
Really be asking yourself, why would I choose not to take this information that I'm learning,

690
00:54:41.160 --> 00:54:45.000
or I have learned, and apply it?

691
00:54:45.000 --> 00:54:49.840
Why would I make an exception?

692
00:54:49.840 --> 00:54:57.040
Why would I make an exception and, you know, push this boundary a little bit?

693
00:54:57.040 --> 00:55:01.880
coming up there. Because that's a hard work.

694
00:55:06.160 --> 00:55:12.720
has not been established yet. Meeting publicly and keeping my own transportation allows me to

695
00:55:12.720 --> 00:55:19.600
remain safe, free, and able to leave whenever I choose. Ladies, that was one of the things that

696
00:55:19.600 --> 00:55:28.320
was the most scary for me is I couldn't just leave. You know, this was before Uber and all

697
00:55:28.320 --> 00:55:37.600
that kind of stuff. But because now we do have that stuff. But again, I wanted to leave on that

698
00:55:37.600 --> 00:55:44.080
date and I still had to stick with it. And then I'm in the car while he's intensely telling me

699
00:55:44.080 --> 00:55:51.280
about these things. I'm sitting here thinking he's got to drop me off at my house. And he was he

700
00:55:51.280 --> 00:56:02.800
was a attractive man. He was fit. And he could have easily overpowered me. And I mean, it was

701
00:56:02.800 --> 00:56:09.200
really it was an experience I don't want to ever have to go through again. And I'm really thankful

702
00:56:09.200 --> 00:56:19.200
nothing horrible happened to me. But it was enough that when I got when someone wise then came after

703
00:56:19.200 --> 00:56:28.800
that and said no more. This was a gentleman friend that I had like he was an older brother to me.

704
00:56:28.800 --> 00:56:35.920
He was like, don't do that. He's like, Carly, you don't realize what could have happened to you.

705
00:56:35.920 --> 00:56:45.440
And I was like, oh, you're right. And he's like, I do not want to hear you ever doing that again.

706
00:56:45.440 --> 00:56:56.000
And so I valued and I like I knew he cared for me. And I valued what knowledge he had. And that's

707
00:56:56.000 --> 00:57:08.400
why I chose to listen to him. And so that's why ladies, it's trusting that God is a good God.

708
00:57:08.400 --> 00:57:14.240
And it's going to give you the information that you need when you need it. And he's bringing people

709
00:57:15.040 --> 00:57:21.040
in your life to help instill those things to you, not to create these rules out of

710
00:57:21.040 --> 00:57:30.400
fear, but to help you to discern what should I do? What would be wise? What would I have done

711
00:57:30.400 --> 00:57:36.480
before and why? And why would I do it now? And why might I want to resist doing this?

712
00:57:38.560 --> 00:57:47.520
What's causing the resistance? Okay. But this again, this can apply in so many areas, emotional,

713
00:57:47.520 --> 00:57:55.120
physical, financial, your time relational. We don't have a whole we don't have a lot of time to unpack

714
00:57:55.120 --> 00:58:02.480
all of those. Last part of this is wisdom does not always mean it's going to be a short process.

715
00:58:03.760 --> 00:58:10.960
And I really loved when Jackie brought up Jeremiah 29 11 this past Saturday.

716
00:58:10.960 --> 00:58:20.320
And she she went, I'm I'm one of those people that I don't like to cherry pick scripture.

717
00:58:20.320 --> 00:58:29.120
I just I don't like if someone gives me a scripture like it's one or two versus

718
00:58:30.000 --> 00:58:37.840
y'all. I'm going to go right here and I'm going to go read the whole chapter. Okay. And then

719
00:58:37.840 --> 00:58:44.320
then you're going to see all my notes everywhere. Like y'all, I got to like look at this all my notes.

720
00:58:44.320 --> 00:58:52.080
I don't know if you can see it. That's that's how I am. So I love that she pointed that out because

721
00:58:52.080 --> 00:58:58.080
yeah, it's like, oh, that's the feel good scripture. Like, oh, yes, God wants to press for me. Well,

722
00:58:58.080 --> 00:59:05.920
we sometimes miss the deeper lesson, the deeper heart work. And I love that she pointed that out.

723
00:59:05.920 --> 00:59:11.440
It was like, that was a letter Jeremiah was writing to the ex like they were exiled to Babylon and

724
00:59:11.440 --> 00:59:18.560
it was like, hey, you're going to go through this. And you know those prophets over there that are

725
00:59:18.560 --> 00:59:24.560
telling you, don't worry about it. The ones that are telling you what you want to hear

726
00:59:24.560 --> 00:59:30.800
and not what you need to hear. Oh, Lord Jesus, that one that that gave me goosebumps, y'all.

727
00:59:30.800 --> 00:59:33.920
Because for the longest time when I was younger, I used to think

728
00:59:33.920 --> 00:59:44.240
that people didn't want my advice. Because oftentimes I tell people what they needed to hear,

729
00:59:44.240 --> 00:59:49.200
not what they wanted to hear. Now, God has had to grow me in this. Okay. I was not always

730
00:59:50.000 --> 00:59:59.840
and I'm still not always gentle in it. I am much gentler now, but it's scripture like that that I

731
01:00:12.320 --> 01:00:15.480
And be real.

732
01:00:15.480 --> 01:00:25.520
Ladies, God is going to prosper you, but it doesn't mean that it's going to be an easy row and it's going to happen overnight. But what I will tell you.

733
01:00:26.920 --> 01:00:41.080
Is when you learn to sit in prayer and partner with him, you're going to focus less on the negative and more on the praise and the positive things that he's doing in your life.

734
01:00:41.080 --> 01:00:51.040
And you will be so much more abundantly blessed. Your mindset will be so much abundantly blessed. I was reading in the scripture.

735
01:00:55.240 --> 01:01:25.040
This is what the Lord says. You will be in Babylon for seven years, but then I will come and do for you all the good things I promised and I will bring you home again for I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, there are plans for good and not for disaster to give you future and a hope in those days when you pray when you see how it's a partnership when you pray I God will listen, if you if you look for me.

736
01:01:25.280 --> 01:01:27.000
So he's given us a choice.

737
01:01:27.000 --> 01:01:35.040
If we look to him for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.

738
01:01:35.040 --> 01:01:40.800
Ladies, if you with your hearts, just look for him. You're going to find him.

739
01:01:40.800 --> 01:01:44.320
I will be found.

740
01:01:46.520 --> 01:01:58.560
I will be found by you, says the Lord, I will end your captivity and restore your fortunes. I will gather you out of the nations where I sent you and will bring you home again to your own land.

741
01:01:58.560 --> 01:02:09.280
But it takes a partnership. It takes us grasping the wisdom and the information.

742
01:02:10.520 --> 01:02:16.400
And walking through that doesn't mean that it's going to be easy. There's going to be risks.

743
01:02:16.400 --> 01:02:26.080
But ladies, I really want you to sit and ask yourself, where does that resistance come from?

744
01:02:26.080 --> 01:02:30.400
And it's not to shame you.

745
01:02:30.400 --> 01:02:37.000
I ask the question because it's a hard work question. It's a growing question.

746
01:02:38.520 --> 01:02:40.400
It's an upgrade question.

747
01:02:40.400 --> 01:02:43.840
All right.

748
01:02:43.840 --> 01:02:50.240
So I want you ladies to sit on that. So this week for our activation.

749
01:02:50.240 --> 01:03:04.520
It's going to be from should to wisdom. Okay. So when you hear yourself saying to yourself, I should have done this or I shouldn't have done that or I should have already known or

750
01:03:05.920 --> 01:03:14.520
Oh, if I should have never done that thing or whatever, whatever you should yourself. Okay. I want you to pause.

751
01:03:14.520 --> 01:03:18.240
And I want you to replace it with four questions.

752
01:03:18.240 --> 01:03:21.280
What happened?

753
01:03:21.280 --> 01:03:26.080
What did it reveal?

754
01:03:26.080 --> 01:03:33.520
That's that inward thing. What's it revealing inside you?

755
01:03:33.840 --> 01:03:40.560
What wisdom am I gaining?

756
01:03:40.560 --> 01:03:48.120
I'm not going to sit here and think I'm going to assign a future to it.

757
01:03:48.120 --> 01:04:02.040
I think I even put on someone's post one of the ladies in here. I think she's going through a breakup and I have been coaching her in our community.

758
01:04:02.520 --> 01:04:05.760
You know, it's fact, fear, truth today.

759
01:04:05.760 --> 01:04:23.920
Okay. So what happened? What did this reveal? What wisdom am I gating? We're not going to go down the fear factor. We're not going to go down the I'm going to, you know, write the into the story before I actually know what the end of the story is going to be. Okay.

760
01:04:23.920 --> 01:04:31.800
And then the last question is, is there a boundary that I want to practice because of what I know now?

761
01:04:31.800 --> 01:04:49.760
And ladies, what I want to caution you with, especially for some of my avoidant ladies, or my overly anxious ladies, this can go both ways, is you're going to want to put up really big boundaries.

762
01:04:49.760 --> 01:04:52.240
Okay.

763
01:04:52.240 --> 01:04:56.520
I want you sharing in community.

764
01:04:56.520 --> 01:04:58.320
Okay.

765
01:04:58.320 --> 01:05:08.320
[BLANK_AUDIO]

766
01:05:03.060 --> 01:05:05.700
into wisdom and it's just as easy as take that wisdom

767
01:05:05.700 --> 01:05:07.700
and then put control on it

768
01:05:07.700 --> 01:05:10.700
and then we go in the other direction, okay?

769
01:05:10.700 --> 01:05:13.600
And so we want that balance.

770
01:05:13.600 --> 01:05:16.220
We want that middle ground.

771
01:05:16.220 --> 01:05:18.180
We want to sit in that piece.

772
01:05:18.180 --> 01:05:25.060
And hey girl, we have,

773
01:05:25.060 --> 01:05:28.260
Zann, I'm gonna be taking questions here

774
01:05:28.260 --> 01:05:29.460
for about 25, 30 minutes.

775
01:05:29.460 --> 01:05:31.400
So if you want to ask your question,

776
01:05:31.400 --> 01:05:32.500
we can go there too.

777
01:05:32.500 --> 01:05:35.340
If it's meeting, it's got a lot of content,

778
01:05:35.340 --> 01:05:39.500
then you can definitely message in the app today.

779
01:05:39.500 --> 01:05:40.980
And we can unpack it there too.

780
01:05:40.980 --> 01:05:43.180
So whatever works for you.

781
01:05:43.180 --> 01:05:44.780
All right.

782
01:05:44.780 --> 01:05:47.420
I think we're gonna end it there.

783
01:05:47.420 --> 01:05:51.220
'Cause like I said, I want to have room for coaching.

784
01:05:51.220 --> 01:05:53.960
All right, 'cause we got lots of ladies on today.

785
01:05:53.960 --> 01:05:58.100
There's 22 of you, 22.

786
01:05:58.100 --> 01:06:01.340
I love it, 22.

787
01:06:01.340 --> 01:06:07.220
All right, good, good, good.

788
01:06:07.220 --> 01:06:10.060
I got questions, questions, questions.

789
01:06:10.060 --> 01:06:11.260
Awesome, okay, we got a lot.

790
01:06:11.260 --> 01:06:12.740
We got lots.

791
01:06:12.740 --> 01:06:17.140
All right, so we're gonna have to make this happen, all right?

792
01:06:17.140 --> 01:06:21.060
So ladies, have your hands up.

793
01:06:21.060 --> 01:06:22.420
I need you to do me a favor.

794
01:06:22.420 --> 01:06:26.980
Listening, we're gonna be short, brief and powerful.

795
01:06:28.020 --> 01:06:29.500
Okay?

796
01:06:29.500 --> 01:06:32.180
I've got to get off in like literally 30 minutes.

797
01:06:32.180 --> 01:06:35.980
So I've got like 33 minutes.

798
01:06:35.980 --> 01:06:38.020
Okay?

799
01:06:38.020 --> 01:06:43.020
So let's be considerate of all the ladies that have questions

800
01:06:43.020 --> 01:06:46.660
and let's just get our question to our point.

801
01:06:46.660 --> 01:06:47.500
Okay?

802
01:06:47.500 --> 01:06:50.700
Zann, wanna go ahead and go first?

803
01:06:50.700 --> 01:06:53.020
I see your hand is at first.

804
01:06:53.020 --> 01:06:54.180
- Hi, Carla, thank you.

805
01:06:54.180 --> 01:06:56.700
I'm gonna make it quick because we already,

806
01:06:56.700 --> 01:06:58.780
you know what's going on with me and my daughter already

807
01:06:58.780 --> 01:06:59.620
'cause you.

808
01:06:59.620 --> 01:07:00.460
- Yes, okay.

809
01:07:00.460 --> 01:07:01.660
- So I'm not gonna go into that.

810
01:07:01.660 --> 01:07:04.540
What I wanna know is because of that

811
01:07:04.540 --> 01:07:09.180
and because I have my dad and my stressful job,

812
01:07:09.180 --> 01:07:12.180
do you recommend that I stay in phase two

813
01:07:12.180 --> 01:07:14.620
or go back to phase one?

814
01:07:14.620 --> 01:07:16.900
Because right now the door of dating,

815
01:07:16.900 --> 01:07:19.860
and I was so excited about it when I started phase two,

816
01:07:19.860 --> 01:07:22.220
but this since happened since I started it,

817
01:07:24.140 --> 01:07:26.420
the door of the date and now just,

818
01:07:26.420 --> 01:07:30.180
I kind of like feel derailed, like a little centrist.

819
01:07:30.180 --> 01:07:32.860
So I don't know if I should go back to phase one

820
01:07:32.860 --> 01:07:36.980
or should I just stay in phase two and you know.

821
01:07:36.980 --> 01:07:37.820
- That's a good question.

822
01:07:37.820 --> 01:07:39.660
- I'm being more active in community

823
01:07:39.660 --> 01:07:40.860
'cause I had already told you

824
01:07:40.860 --> 01:07:43.260
I'm not gonna do online dating right now.

825
01:07:43.260 --> 01:07:44.660
- Yeah, absolutely.

826
01:07:44.660 --> 01:07:48.020
That is a really good question.

827
01:07:48.020 --> 01:07:49.020
And I'm glad that you asked that

828
01:07:49.020 --> 01:07:50.780
because you're not the only one

829
01:07:50.780 --> 01:07:54.260
that will, you know, life happens.

830
01:07:54.260 --> 01:07:57.020
Things, you know, can stir us up

831
01:07:57.020 --> 01:07:59.100
and we'll be like, oh wait, I just got in here.

832
01:07:59.100 --> 01:08:01.340
I mean, 'cause that's what the enemy likes to do.

833
01:08:01.340 --> 01:08:02.940
It's like as soon as we make some progress,

834
01:08:02.940 --> 01:08:05.940
he's gonna come in and like try to distract us.

835
01:08:05.940 --> 01:08:07.860
But here's the thing, I don't want you

836
01:08:07.860 --> 01:08:10.020
to feel like you have to go backwards.

837
01:08:10.020 --> 01:08:14.380
You're gonna stay here, but I want to really ease your mind

838
01:08:14.380 --> 01:08:18.180
that just because you're in phase two

839
01:08:18.180 --> 01:08:20.020
doesn't mean you have to be dating.

840
01:08:21.020 --> 01:08:22.819
You don't have to be dating.

841
01:08:22.819 --> 01:08:24.260
- That's good, so no, thank you.

842
01:08:24.260 --> 01:08:26.620
- Okay, we will still heart work in here.

843
01:08:26.620 --> 01:08:28.540
We're here to be a community.

844
01:08:28.540 --> 01:08:29.819
We're here to connect with you

845
01:08:29.819 --> 01:08:32.220
and build a relationship with you

846
01:08:32.220 --> 01:08:37.220
and walk you through living heart work, okay?

847
01:08:37.220 --> 01:08:40.220
And it doesn't just mean dating relationships,

848
01:08:40.220 --> 01:08:43.500
it's all relationships, okay?

849
01:08:43.500 --> 01:08:44.340
- Okay.

850
01:08:44.340 --> 01:08:47.420
- We want to help you put that into practice.

851
01:08:47.420 --> 01:08:51.020
And so like I said, that is a really good question

852
01:08:51.020 --> 01:08:54.300
because that, there's probably a couple ladies

853
01:08:54.300 --> 01:08:56.100
that are on this call right now

854
01:08:56.100 --> 01:08:59.540
that probably had the same question was like,

855
01:08:59.540 --> 01:09:02.380
"Oh wait, should I go back to phase one?"

856
01:09:02.380 --> 01:09:04.340
And I always would tell the ladies,

857
01:09:04.340 --> 01:09:08.779
"Oh, don't worry, I'll heart work in here, don't worry."

858
01:09:08.779 --> 01:09:11.020
(laughing)

859
01:09:11.020 --> 01:09:15.020
I will, I heart work people that don't want to be heart worked.

860
01:09:15.020 --> 01:09:16.180
(laughing)

861
01:09:16.180 --> 01:09:19.420
Like my husband. (laughing)

862
01:09:19.420 --> 01:09:21.979
I'm constantly being coached to not,

863
01:09:21.979 --> 01:09:25.960
and counsel not to counsel my husband. (laughing)

864
01:09:25.960 --> 01:09:33.460
So yes, know that you're still moving forward.

865
01:09:33.460 --> 01:09:38.460
So, and I want you to continue to come and let us know

866
01:09:38.460 --> 01:09:39.620
like what's going on in your life

867
01:09:39.620 --> 01:09:42.020
because we want to know how to pray for you.

868
01:09:42.020 --> 01:09:46.100
And God is going to be able to use everything

869
01:09:46.100 --> 01:09:47.819
that's happening in your life to heal you,

870
01:09:47.819 --> 01:09:52.819
to grow you, and to prepare you

871
01:09:52.819 --> 01:09:55.340
for the promises that He has for you.

872
01:09:55.340 --> 01:09:59.880
You know, He's not, He's not caught off guard.

873
01:10:06.160 --> 01:10:14.880
And so you don't have to fear, uh oh, I might not be in the right place. No, you are. You're in

874
01:10:14.880 --> 01:10:22.160
community and we've got you. Okay. All right, Safree, you're up next.

875
01:10:28.160 --> 01:10:39.440
Oh, you're muted. I never did it online. Never did it. I only did it one guy. And that didn't work

876
01:10:39.440 --> 01:10:46.240
out after 20 years. I mean, but so this totally new to me. And so I set up the profile. I'm on

877
01:10:46.240 --> 01:10:53.120
match.com. And I'm realizing there's so many guys. How do I go through this? Like, which was one reason

878
01:10:53.120 --> 01:11:02.240
I'm like, pause. Uh, yeah, I mean, I guess it's, it's like, you know, it's like, okay, there's a

879
01:11:02.240 --> 01:11:10.080
picture. I guess I'm just like, okay, maybe when I go back looking at the pictures, I'm just gonna

880
01:11:10.080 --> 01:11:17.600
pray and say, uh, but which one do I, you know, I'll be honest. I'm so likely to just swipe left.

881
01:11:17.600 --> 01:11:24.560
No. Oh, no. Okay. So this is, this is, this is such a good question. I love this because yeah,

882
01:11:24.560 --> 01:11:34.000
especially, um, I know a lot of, I know a lot of us ladies are never like, we might like, okay,

883
01:11:34.000 --> 01:11:38.080
what's we get? What? Let me, let me word it this way. Once we get to the place where we're like,

884
01:11:38.080 --> 01:11:43.360
yes, I'm going to online date. Okay. Because sometimes that in of itself is just getting

885
01:11:43.360 --> 01:11:49.280
ourselves to do that can be a challenge. Okay. And then when we get there,

886
01:11:49.280 --> 01:11:56.000
we're like, Oh my gosh, I don't know what to do here. This is overwhelming. There's too many

887
01:11:56.000 --> 01:12:01.920
decisions. What if I make the wrong decision? Um, you're going to want to go into the, I've got

888
01:12:01.920 --> 01:12:06.080
to have all the rules. So this is not going to be about rules. It's going to be about boundaries.

889
01:12:06.080 --> 01:12:13.280
Okay. So you need to discover what works for you with where you're at in your seasonal life.

890
01:12:14.240 --> 01:12:21.360
So how much time do you want to set aside? And how do you want that to look for you? Because

891
01:12:21.360 --> 01:12:26.560
we don't want you working this like a job. And this is not supposed to be a stressful experience.

892
01:12:26.560 --> 01:12:34.320
Okay. There's going to be stretching in it, but it's never supposed to get us to a point where

893
01:12:34.320 --> 01:12:40.000
we are not at a place where we can't enjoy it and learn something and grow.

894
01:12:41.280 --> 01:12:48.640
And so are you overwhelmed because every time you swipe, then another one comes up and then

895
01:12:48.640 --> 01:12:54.800
another one comes up and then another one comes up. I'm just so mad. It's hard. And then sometimes

896
01:12:54.800 --> 01:13:01.360
I'm scrolling down to read and it's like, okay, there's so much, you know, like, what am I looking

897
01:13:01.360 --> 01:13:07.280
for? Okay, Christian. Uh, what's he saying? You know, and then sometimes also I'm scrolling.

898
01:13:08.080 --> 01:13:16.000
It accidentally becomes a swipe right or left. Okay. So this is, this is what I'm going to

899
01:13:16.000 --> 01:13:21.520
suggest to you at first because this is what I did. Okay. And ladies, this isn't go for everybody.

900
01:13:21.520 --> 01:13:27.840
Okay. So this is, I'm giving you an option. And you can test it out and see if you like it

901
01:13:27.840 --> 01:13:35.280
and see if it works to see if it makes it more enjoyable. Um, because when I would go on and

902
01:13:35.280 --> 01:13:41.040
there were just, I could sit there and spend hours reading and get overwhelmed and then try to decide,

903
01:13:41.040 --> 01:13:46.400
well, do I like that? Do I not like that? I had to get to a point where I'm like, okay,

904
01:13:46.400 --> 01:13:54.960
I'm not going to go look at profiles unless they like my profile or reach out to me.

905
01:13:54.960 --> 01:13:58.880
Then I'm going to give myself permission to look at their profile.

906
01:13:58.880 --> 01:14:04.800
And that will probably shrink things down a little bit. Okay. And then if you notice, like,

907
01:14:04.800 --> 01:14:07.360
okay, but I'm getting a lot of likes and I'm getting a lot of messages,

908
01:14:07.360 --> 01:14:14.560
then guess what? You could put up another boundary. Okay. And again, you're, you're not

909
01:14:14.560 --> 01:14:21.520
putting up a wall in a rule. You're going to the Lord in prayer and saying, Lord,

910
01:14:21.520 --> 01:14:32.480
what is one thing you want me to, um, to focus on? Okay. I, I for a time did the,

911
01:14:33.040 --> 01:14:38.560
they had to say that they were Christian. Like, or they, they just had to, they had a,

912
01:14:38.560 --> 01:14:45.680
they at least had to say it under their like religion. Okay. Not the, um,

913
01:14:45.680 --> 01:14:52.320
yes, spiritual, not religious. I didn't do that. You know, they just, they had to like,

914
01:14:52.320 --> 01:14:59.360
I definitely wasn't doing the atheist thing. Um, none of that. Okay. And so that would be where my

915
01:15:08.000 --> 01:15:11.000
Didn't mean I didn't look at pictures, okay?

916
01:15:11.000 --> 01:15:18.000
But God was like, okay, you're not going to make your decision just based on their looks.

917
01:15:18.000 --> 01:15:23.000
You're going to make your decision based on how their profile reads.

918
01:15:23.000 --> 01:15:37.000
That was for me because I was someone who struggled with my own identity and feeling like I wasn't valuable enough unless a guy was like super duper attractive.

919
01:15:37.000 --> 01:15:46.000
And so I felt if an attractive guy would give me attention, then that meant I was worth something.

920
01:15:46.000 --> 01:15:59.000
And then those would be the man that would treat me like garbage, like it just didn't make sense like I was putting my my identity and my worth in the acceptance of a male.

921
01:15:59.000 --> 01:16:09.000
And that just wasn't helpful. So one of the ways was it was the appearance that was something that God had me personally work on that does not mean that you'll have to do that.

922
01:16:09.000 --> 01:16:18.000
Like you all will have your own thing that God will speak to your heart that he wants to heal and he wants to work on.

923
01:16:18.000 --> 01:16:23.000
So my first thing about looking at the looks is I can't have someone very big.

924
01:16:23.000 --> 01:16:30.000
You know, I'm pretty small and it sounds, it feels.

925
01:16:30.000 --> 01:16:31.000
Okay.

926
01:16:31.000 --> 01:16:33.000
I would say it starts up here.

927
01:16:33.000 --> 01:16:35.000
You know, like.

928
01:16:35.000 --> 01:16:47.000
We're not going to for we're not going to force you to swipe right on someone that has that you know what, but what you I want you to recognize is that you are already looking inward.

929
01:16:47.000 --> 01:16:49.000
And you're doing hard work.

930
01:16:49.000 --> 01:16:51.000
It brings up fear.

931
01:16:51.000 --> 01:16:52.000
It's true.

932
01:16:52.000 --> 01:16:55.000
I want you to pay attention to that.

933
01:16:55.000 --> 01:16:59.000
Not because God's going to force you to have a husband that's a big husband.

934
01:16:59.000 --> 01:17:00.000
Okay.

935
01:17:00.000 --> 01:17:14.000
The gentleman would be fine. It's just the initial, you know, no, but like, but what is that was here. I guess that's here. That's here. But that's what I'm saying like this is the invitation now where you're like, okay.

936
01:17:14.000 --> 01:17:18.000
I'm seeing fear. I'm not forced.

937
01:17:18.000 --> 01:17:23.000
I'm not. There's no rules here. I'm not, you know, Jackie and the coaches are not telling me.

938
01:17:23.000 --> 01:17:26.000
I have to swipe right on this guy.

939
01:17:26.000 --> 01:17:30.000
No, we're not telling you that. We're saying.

940
01:17:30.000 --> 01:17:38.000
Let's, let's dive deeper because here's the thing. What if a guy comes up and his profile raised really nicely and he's.

941
01:17:38.000 --> 01:17:48.000
Super tall and maybe a little overweight, but he's, you know, working on his health and he's, you know, maybe he's a lot. Who knows.

942
01:17:48.000 --> 01:17:59.000
And you're like, and something will spark in you and you're like, huh, and it may make you get curious, get curious with God. Where does that fear come from?

943
01:17:59.000 --> 01:18:06.000
What am I believing? Lord, is there something that you want to heal or grow in me? Do you want me to give? Do you, do you want me to have a new perspective or a new lens?

944
01:18:06.000 --> 01:18:15.000
Does it mean that it's because you have to say, well, then that just means I'm going to marry someone like this.

945
01:18:15.000 --> 01:18:24.000
It could just be the preparation of God just wanting to heal something in you that will help you on your journey.

946
01:18:24.000 --> 01:18:25.000
Okay.

947
01:18:25.000 --> 01:18:26.000
Yeah.

948
01:18:26.000 --> 01:18:27.000
Does that help?

949
01:18:27.000 --> 01:18:28.000
Yes.

950
01:18:28.000 --> 01:18:29.000
Thank you.

951
01:18:29.000 --> 01:18:36.000
All right. And keep us updated on your, your stuff, but there's no rushing. There's no, no rules.

952
01:18:36.000 --> 01:18:47.000
Yes. And we're here. We're here for your daily daily surrender. If you, if you need our help, I always needed it. I always need to come in this community and be like, help me.

953
01:18:47.000 --> 01:18:50.000
I'm trying to follow the rules again.

954
01:18:50.000 --> 01:19:00.000
It helps a lot to have a community and to have coaches. Like I'm not doing this alone. Like, you know, we are community going to this and everyone's new.

955
01:19:00.000 --> 01:19:02.000
Yes, absolutely.

956
01:19:02.000 --> 01:19:03.000
Absolutely.

957
01:19:03.000 --> 01:19:04.000
Thank you.

958
01:19:04.000 --> 01:19:09.000
Hey, Kelly. How are you?

959
01:19:09.000 --> 01:19:13.000
Oh, I mute yourself any.

960
01:19:13.000 --> 01:19:23.000
Hi. Um, so, I feel like I continue to go backwards and not pull the new.

961
01:19:23.000 --> 01:19:28.000
Give me any insights or any helpful. Yeah.

962
01:19:28.000 --> 01:19:30.000
Um, okay. So.

963
01:19:30.000 --> 01:19:37.000
Going backwards instead of forwards, are we still, are you still entertaining the, uh, formers?

964
01:19:37.000 --> 01:19:38.000
Yes.

965
01:19:38.000 --> 01:19:40.000
Okay.

966
01:19:40.000 --> 01:19:50.000
We got it. You're going to have to see your, it's, it's sitting with the Lord. I mean, like, what am I believing?

967
01:19:50.000 --> 01:19:54.000
What am I afraid of? What am I afraid of if I stop.

968
01:19:54.000 --> 01:20:00.000
Engaging with this? What if I, what am I afraid is going to happen if I cut this person completely?

969
01:20:16.760 --> 01:20:26.440
it's got to hold on you, right? Yeah, and I tried to do like, um, the soul tide breaks.

970
01:20:26.440 --> 01:20:39.920
I mean, it's I don't know. Um, have you listened to the Supernatural Saturday, um, from the

971
01:20:39.920 --> 01:20:47.800
Rosh Hashanah? Not this past week, the week before? No, I mean, I think I missed some of

972
01:20:47.800 --> 01:20:56.120
it. Okay. Two weeks ago, I will. Um, when was the last time you posted in our app, our

973
01:20:56.120 --> 01:21:07.640
community? It's been a while. Okay. Um, why is that? I don't know here, I guess. All right,

974
01:21:07.640 --> 01:21:15.680
the last time I finally, um, I had quit taking my medicine, and then I went back on medicine

975
01:21:15.680 --> 01:21:29.280
as well. Okay. Um, can I, can I prompt you just one step of courage this week? You can

976
01:21:29.280 --> 01:21:35.840
make a post in the app. You get to choose what it's about. Okay. We're going to get over

977
01:21:35.840 --> 01:21:44.440
that fear first. Okay. I think part of this going backwards is we got to get you connected

978
01:21:44.440 --> 01:21:52.220
in community connection. That's what I'm hearing. And, um, you're trying to do all the work

979
01:21:52.220 --> 01:22:02.280
on your own. Like, uh, we left the year of work six. We went from the year of six going

980
01:22:02.280 --> 01:22:07.900
into seven and this is a year of rest. It's, you know, giving it to the shepherd, the good

981
01:22:07.900 --> 01:22:16.740
shepherd, it's resting. And so part of that is allowing people to carry those burdens

982
01:22:16.740 --> 01:22:31.900
for us. Okay. So, um, I want to hold you accountable. Again, this is you have like, I

983
01:22:31.900 --> 01:22:36.340
want you to, again, if there's something fearful that you don't want to post about, we're not

984
01:22:36.340 --> 01:22:42.260
going to force you to post about it. I just want to see you engaging. Like it can be a

985
01:22:42.260 --> 01:22:48.020
something that you enjoy doing. It can be, it can be something positive. It, it doesn't

986
01:22:48.020 --> 01:22:53.740
have to even be dating related. It can be dating related. Whatever you choose to feel

987
01:22:53.740 --> 01:23:02.180
that you think the Lord is leading you to share, but let's get you connected in community

988
01:23:02.180 --> 01:23:12.580
and see if that helps shift you forward. Okay. Okay. Good. You're welcome, Kelly. Praying

989
01:23:12.580 --> 01:23:21.620
for a girl. Thank you. You're welcome. All right. Cynthia, how are you? So good to see

990
01:23:21.620 --> 01:23:27.980
you. Hi there. Yeah, it's good to see you as well. Um, yeah, it's been ages. Really,

991
01:23:27.980 --> 01:23:31.940
I wanted to have a question because I wanted coaching. I was really wanting to prep something,

992
01:23:31.940 --> 01:23:36.140
but I don't have a question specifically, nothing that I haven't already asked, probably at least

993
01:23:36.140 --> 01:23:43.820
twice. Um, so just, just a quick kind of to let you know, um, yeah, that I'm still here.

994
01:23:43.820 --> 01:23:48.900
And so we did the thing where, uh, took us came to Germany for his six weeks, summer

995
01:23:48.900 --> 01:23:56.180
holiday. And, but it was super busy. Um, it went well. We, we didn't have any arguments

996
01:23:56.180 --> 01:24:02.780
amazingly in the whole six weeks. It was good. Um, but for me, I was like functioning because

997
01:24:02.780 --> 01:24:08.140
I was just, um, working a lot. And he was only there for my benefit. So when I wasn't

998
01:24:08.140 --> 01:24:14.220
working, I was trying to be with him. We actually traveled around and we saw, um, other people

999
01:24:14.220 --> 01:24:17.620
long term friends of mine that he hadn't yet met because they don't live in Berlin.

1000
01:24:17.620 --> 01:24:23.300
They live in other parts of Germany. So, um, we did that. So that was good. And everybody

1001
01:24:23.300 --> 01:24:30.940
loves him. So that was good. But I was also trying to, my, my roommate, 25 years, stage

1002
01:24:30.940 --> 01:24:37.940
four cancer, both sudden dramatic diagnosis, very dramatic symptoms. Um, so trying not

1003
01:24:37.940 --> 01:24:43.660
to leave her on her own either. So I felt so she was, we were there and then took us

1004
01:24:43.660 --> 01:24:48.900
within an apartment around the corner, which worked out amazingly. Um, but I was kind of

1005
01:24:48.900 --> 01:24:52.500
constantly going back and forth and because her symptoms are quite dramatic, it wasn't

1006
01:24:52.500 --> 01:24:59.700
good for him to come to the house because she needed her privacy. Um, so it's just, yeah,

1007
01:25:06.560 --> 01:25:13.160
at all to knowing. And then I wasn't sure should I leave my roommate? Is it okay? But

1008
01:25:13.160 --> 01:25:21.580
she actually organised help from social services to come and help her twice a week cooking,

1009
01:25:21.580 --> 01:25:27.200
cleaning, washing, shopping, all that kind of thing. And she's got plenty of other friends

1010
01:25:27.200 --> 01:25:31.960
as well. So I felt okay, it's fine. So I've come to England now. I'm here for just till

1011
01:25:31.960 --> 01:25:36.880
the end of September. But that too is now almost over. But at least I've had some more time

1012
01:25:36.880 --> 01:25:44.040
here and I have been going back over my notes and starting to ponder. But yeah, I don't

1013
01:25:44.040 --> 01:25:51.040
feel like I'm close to a decision. I think a lot about me. But yeah, I think a lot of

1014
01:25:51.040 --> 01:25:55.440
this is going to be praying for the courage to make a decision. And I think this is a

1015
01:25:55.440 --> 01:26:03.520
really good, I think this, this, this is really a really good teaching of, you know, and listening

1016
01:26:03.520 --> 01:26:14.720
to Jackie from Saturday is, you know, we want to make the right choice. And because it gives

1017
01:26:14.720 --> 01:26:25.160
a certainty. And Cynthia, I think it's going to be having the courage to sit and sit and

1018
01:26:25.160 --> 01:26:35.600
have the courage to make a decision and walk it out. And be and be willing to say, okay,

1019
01:26:35.600 --> 01:26:40.840
there's going to be hard times, but I can handle the hard times. And yes, I have done

1020
01:26:40.840 --> 01:26:49.320
Simbus, love it. The I've actually, my husband and I have done several different. We did

1021
01:26:49.320 --> 01:26:55.960
Simbus before we got married, the report was amazing. We did it in our community here at

1022
01:26:55.960 --> 01:27:02.600
last year, single with several other people. It really put a spotlight on things, which

1023
01:27:02.600 --> 01:27:11.880
was really helpful. I think that would be really beneficial for you to do because it

1024
01:27:11.880 --> 01:27:18.120
will highlight good things and it will highlight some things that you're going to want to have

1025
01:27:18.120 --> 01:27:26.580
discussed. Okay. Oh, this is a different Cynthia. I forgot we have two Cynthia's in here. My

1026
01:27:26.580 --> 01:27:32.560
apologies. Cynthia, I thought that was you asking and I'm like, type that like I thought,

1027
01:27:32.560 --> 01:27:37.800
well, maybe I was just wasn't, you know, she didn't want to interrupt me. Oh, I see. I

1028
01:27:37.800 --> 01:27:49.520
didn't see that. Yeah, I think, you know, so, you know, I think that was maybe that was

1029
01:27:49.520 --> 01:27:56.240
something that's helpful. Have you and Chuck's ever been able to do an assessment, like one

1030
01:27:56.240 --> 01:28:03.480
of those assessments where you, have you done one of those? It wasn't an assessment, but

1031
01:28:03.480 --> 01:28:10.680
we did a pre-marriage course, actually, probably about 18 months ago now, because back then

1032
01:28:10.680 --> 01:28:14.080
I wasn't in last year single, but I talked to somebody in my church who's cancelled a

1033
01:28:14.080 --> 01:28:18.840
lot of couples. And she said, oh, why don't you do a pre-marriage course, because it would

1034
01:28:18.840 --> 01:28:27.160
help you find out more about each other and compatibilities and potential problem areas.

1035
01:28:27.160 --> 01:28:33.800
And, yeah, so we did one. The only thing was, is that Tix was in the church, actually in

1036
01:28:33.800 --> 01:28:37.760
the building doing it and I was doing it online. We were trying to do it together and we had

1037
01:28:37.760 --> 01:28:42.760
some connectivity issues and we were, they were supposed to be like, time's rest, it's

1038
01:28:42.760 --> 01:28:47.280
just stuff and sometimes we ran out of time and, yeah, it was a bit stressful, but it was

1039
01:28:47.280 --> 01:28:52.160
definitely, it was definitely helpful. But I think maybe Simbus would be good. Yeah.

1040
01:28:52.160 --> 01:28:56.480
Yeah, Simbus, there's all sorts of things. Whatever you can find where it's going to

1041
01:28:56.480 --> 01:29:02.200
give you a report. What happens is you will go and answer questions, honestly, like you

1042
01:29:02.200 --> 01:29:08.040
will be transparent, honest, and they're not going to see how you answered each question.

1043
01:29:08.040 --> 01:29:13.920
The best thing for you to do is answer honestly, like whatever comes natural to answer, and

1044
01:29:13.920 --> 01:29:21.160
then they go ask or answer those questions on their own. That, my husband and I did that

1045
01:29:21.160 --> 01:29:28.280
separately for Simbus. We were, I was in Florida, he was in Texas. We did another one

1046
01:29:28.280 --> 01:29:36.280
that was Gottman and that one, I remember my husband sitting right next to me. I was

1047
01:29:36.280 --> 01:29:43.960
quiet. He kept asking me the questions. Like, what do you think about this? And y'all,

1048
01:29:43.960 --> 01:29:49.080
I was like, well, this is how I answered because I'm transparent. I'm not going to like, and

1049
01:29:49.080 --> 01:29:55.240
that was probably not ideal. Because he got really like, you mean, you really don't think

1050
01:29:55.240 --> 01:30:00.000
we're that romantic? I'm like, no, we have three kids.

1051
01:30:09.900 --> 01:30:17.480
recently we were doing counseling with our pastors at our local church and

1052
01:30:17.480 --> 01:30:24.760
they have another assessment that they do and so that one we did do separately

1053
01:30:24.760 --> 01:30:28.600
like I was like no you don't do this on your own I'm gonna do this on my own

1054
01:30:28.600 --> 01:30:34.760
and then we met with our pastors and talked about things and then they sent

1055
01:30:34.760 --> 01:30:45.520
us the the assessment the report so I think it's really really telling it will

1056
01:30:45.520 --> 01:30:51.880
highlight and again being able to do that with a someone else that's gonna help

1057
01:30:51.880 --> 01:30:58.680
you regulate and be able to be heard I would even suggest thank you Holy

1058
01:30:58.680 --> 01:31:06.320
Spirit if you can find a husband and a wife couple if you can find a couple a

1059
01:31:06.320 --> 01:31:13.080
man and a woman to walk you through the process so that you're getting a man's

1060
01:31:13.080 --> 01:31:17.920
perspective for him and then you're getting a woman's perspective for you

1061
01:31:17.920 --> 01:31:21.320
because I will tell you that is the one thing that my husband I are doing

1062
01:31:21.320 --> 01:31:28.680
differently we were meeting with our pastor in his wife and it is like night

1063
01:31:28.680 --> 01:31:36.040
and day like I am actually able to hear things better from the male

1064
01:31:36.040 --> 01:31:39.840
perspective because he frames it differently because there's no emotional

1065
01:31:39.840 --> 01:31:48.440
tie there and then my husband's able to hear it from the pastor's wife because

1066
01:31:48.440 --> 01:31:55.840
she's not emotional emotionally invested it's really helpful so I'm gonna I'm

1067
01:31:55.840 --> 01:32:01.080
gonna throw that out there looking at that pray about it that's sing this but

1068
01:32:01.080 --> 01:32:06.840
with a husband and wife doing yes which I don't know when last year singles

1069
01:32:06.840 --> 01:32:14.920
doing another semis I think Bethany and Brian both do that that's what I'm saying

1070
01:32:14.920 --> 01:32:19.600
I love the trolleys with the time difference because then the while I did

1071
01:32:19.600 --> 01:32:27.880
look into it when it was offered a few months ago okay if you can't do it is

1072
01:32:27.880 --> 01:32:36.200
better to be there if you if you can't do it with our community ask around because

1073
01:32:36.200 --> 01:32:41.680
there are several people I mean I've met so many people that are certified in

1074
01:32:41.680 --> 01:32:46.640
cymbus and it doesn't just have to be cymbus it could be whatever I pray

1075
01:32:46.640 --> 01:32:52.480
about it and just if you can find a husband and wife couple that are

1076
01:32:52.480 --> 01:33:02.520
certified to do like marriage counseling and they they have access to to do like

1077
01:33:02.520 --> 01:33:07.720
an assessment and they know how to read those reports to be able to help guide

1078
01:33:07.720 --> 01:33:13.120
you and direct you because it will pull things that will be helpful for the two

1079
01:33:13.120 --> 01:33:16.920
of you to discuss and then when you're getting in a room where you're with

1080
01:33:16.920 --> 01:33:21.920
another husband and wife because here's the thing men and women we speak

1081
01:33:21.920 --> 01:33:29.680
different languages and so it's really helpful having another couple to kind

1082
01:33:29.680 --> 01:33:37.600
of translate does that make sense yes it get like the cymbus teacher part yeah

1083
01:33:37.600 --> 01:33:41.800
a lot of those reports will give you several pages of really really useful

1084
01:33:41.800 --> 01:33:46.560
information my husband and I have done several different things we've done

1085
01:33:46.560 --> 01:33:50.160
we've done man we've done so many I mean there's all those like the

1086
01:33:50.160 --> 01:33:54.280
personality to us that you can take and and you can take it with a person you

1087
01:33:54.280 --> 01:33:57.600
can see how you're like that there's all sorts of things out there so just

1088
01:33:57.600 --> 01:34:04.080
pray about that and ask around to see you know ask the Lord to highlight a

1089
01:34:04.080 --> 01:34:11.160
couple to you or a couple couples and be asking them and there yeah I guess

1090
01:34:11.160 --> 01:34:18.000
if there's a website for sure so that would be my suggestion yeah okay I got

1091
01:34:18.000 --> 01:34:23.600
like five more minutes and I think I got three more questions so Lucy you're the

1092
01:34:23.600 --> 01:34:29.000
next one up Jennifer and Lisa I may have you either put it in the chat or post in

1093
01:34:29.000 --> 01:34:32.840
the app if you can can work on that

1094
01:34:32.840 --> 01:34:42.160
oh there you go here we are hey so as I was reflecting I might just need to go

1095
01:34:42.160 --> 01:34:45.440
back and answer your four questions that might be the best thing so really

1096
01:34:45.440 --> 01:34:51.920
short the guy named Philip who is a doctor in Australia he canceled our

1097
01:34:51.920 --> 01:34:56.360
trip yesterday and he sent a voice message saying hey I think we should

1098
01:34:56.360 --> 01:34:59.320
cancel the trip and we should reassess whether or not we're talking anymore

1099
01:35:03.440 --> 01:35:09.560
Okay, so what's going on there? What's coming up inside you?

1100
01:35:09.560 --> 01:35:16.520
Yeah, I recognize the pattern. The pattern is, "Oh, while a guy's close, I'm like, "I

1101
01:35:16.520 --> 01:35:19.520
don't know if I like him. I don't know if I like him as soon as I walk away." I'm like,

1102
01:35:19.520 --> 01:35:27.920
"Oh, no, he's amazing. Oh, shoot." So that's what I recognized and I guess I get to grow

1103
01:35:27.920 --> 01:35:34.920
from that. I'm not really sure how. Okay, yeah. Well, I like the fact that you, like

1104
01:35:34.920 --> 01:35:41.040
you yourself, you're recognizing, "Okay, when they're not close by, I'm really not

1105
01:35:41.040 --> 01:35:47.000
sure how I feel, but then when they're not accessible to me anymore and available,

1106
01:35:47.000 --> 01:35:56.200
then I'm like, "Wait." So, yeah, ask those questions. I'd even go back to those

1107
01:35:56.200 --> 01:36:01.960
hard work questions. You know, recognizing, "Okay, what is it that I'm feeling?" But I

1108
01:36:01.960 --> 01:36:10.720
would even go, "Where does this feeling feel familiar? What memories does it

1109
01:36:10.720 --> 01:36:15.280
remind you of? When have you felt that before?" Like the earliest memory that you

1110
01:36:15.280 --> 01:36:25.000
can come up with and go there. And I think when you have some time to unpack

1111
01:36:25.000 --> 01:36:32.760
that with the Lord, you, like I love getting your post in the app because you

1112
01:36:32.760 --> 01:36:39.960
have, like I know you are so intentional about walking out this hard work. And so

1113
01:36:39.960 --> 01:36:50.840
you're very reflective and you're very self-aware and you have, like I can tell

1114
01:36:50.840 --> 01:36:56.000
that you have, you've had healing, you've had growth, you're recognizing

1115
01:36:56.000 --> 01:37:01.200
behaviors, you're recognizing patterns. And so I want you to be gentle and give

1116
01:37:01.200 --> 01:37:06.360
yourself grace, okay? You said that he just did this yesterday. So, it could be

1117
01:37:06.360 --> 01:37:10.760
feeling a little raw, right? You said he did this yesterday? Yeah, and I was

1118
01:37:10.760 --> 01:37:14.880
actually two hours from leaving to go have my passport renewal appointment.

1119
01:37:14.880 --> 01:37:21.440
That sounds the perfect timing. Oh, praise the Lord. Talk about perfect timing, like

1120
01:37:21.440 --> 01:37:27.560
thanks, dude. These saved me like some time there. I'm in money. I've been money,

1121
01:37:27.560 --> 01:37:32.520
absolutely. Yeah, so it's still give yourself grace because that could be

1122
01:37:32.520 --> 01:37:37.840
really raw. How do you process? Do you, like, what's your best way of

1123
01:37:37.840 --> 01:37:42.840
processing with the Lord? Yeah, I've started, I said in earlier, bedtime, and I've

1124
01:37:42.840 --> 01:37:48.000
started just journaling, talking to him at night, but I've also realized that I

1125
01:37:48.000 --> 01:37:51.960
do still have to be careful with my journaling to keep to, like, giving him

1126
01:37:51.960 --> 01:37:56.200
thanks and giving him praise. Otherwise, it can journal myself into a little

1127
01:37:56.200 --> 01:38:01.360
spiral, too. Okay, I like that you recognize that, too, and I'm familiar

1128
01:38:01.360 --> 01:38:05.680
with that because there are times I do that, too. And so, I love that you are

1129
01:38:05.680 --> 01:38:09.880
already familiar with the journaling because that is something I think is very

1130
01:38:09.880 --> 01:38:17.680
helpful. And then I felt come up in my spirit, and you probably already do this,

1131
01:38:17.680 --> 01:38:24.280
to help you kind of stay on the worship and the, but think utilizing the Lord's

1132
01:38:24.280 --> 01:38:34.600
prayer when you journal. That might help kind of keep you in that because, I mean,

1133
01:38:34.600 --> 01:38:41.960
I typically try to start my prayers off with thanks and praise. Like, that always

1134
01:38:41.960 --> 01:38:47.120
helps me set my mindset, and then especially if I'm writing it out, because

1135
01:38:47.120 --> 01:38:52.360
if I'm writing it out, then I, like, my brain actually has to process through it

1136
01:38:52.360 --> 01:38:57.800
that I will find, like, I'll sit down, like, angry, like, I'll be, like, so

1137
01:38:57.800 --> 01:39:02.160
offended and upset with my husband or my kids or something, or, and then I'll just

1138
01:39:02.160 --> 01:39:06.720
sit down and just, like, be in tears with my Bible and my journal and with the Lord,

1139
01:39:06.720 --> 01:39:11.600
and I'm just, like, I'm so mad, and I just want to literally just let it out

1140
01:39:11.600 --> 01:39:19.360
with him. And trust me, there are times I do, but I've learned that when I, when I

1141
01:39:19.360 --> 01:39:24.160
practice the prayer or the, the, the praise and the thankfulness and the

1142
01:39:24.160 --> 01:39:31.760
gratitude, that once I shift into kind of letting him hear my, what I'm hurt by,

1143
01:39:31.760 --> 01:39:38.680
it, it's not as negative and it really comes from this place of, like, Lord, I'm

1144
01:39:38.680 --> 01:39:44.080
hurting and I need comfort. And it's not coming from a place of, like, I'm closed

1145
01:39:44.080 --> 01:39:52.000
off and I'm mad and I'm, like, it really helps me. That's something that I do. So if

1146
01:39:52.000 --> 01:39:58.840
that's something that is speaks to you, use it. If you're like, that doesn't make

1147
01:39:58.840 --> 01:40:00.000
since Carly even trashed it.

1148
01:40:04.900 --> 01:40:05.900
Thank you.

1149
01:40:05.900 --> 01:40:06.900
Okay.

1150
01:40:06.900 --> 01:40:07.900
And it's so helpful.

1151
01:40:07.900 --> 01:40:08.900
Absolutely.

1152
01:40:08.900 --> 01:40:09.900
Thank you for all your amazing replies.

1153
01:40:09.900 --> 01:40:10.900
You wanted them.

1154
01:40:10.900 --> 01:40:12.100
I'm like, oh, that hits so deep.

1155
01:40:12.100 --> 01:40:15.000
I'm like, I have to process and I'll come back and post again.

1156
01:40:15.000 --> 01:40:17.700
And then the next one, I come back and like, I've never responded, I have this new thing

1157
01:40:17.700 --> 01:40:18.700
to post.

1158
01:40:18.700 --> 01:40:22.360
So I just want you to know, you've like touched my heart so many times.

1159
01:40:22.360 --> 01:40:23.360
Thank you.

1160
01:40:23.360 --> 01:40:24.360
Oh, you're welcome.

1161
01:40:24.360 --> 01:40:29.700
And yeah, I don't, I mean, ladies, if you need a few days to process because I know I,

1162
01:40:29.700 --> 01:40:33.400
I, I vomit a lot of information.

1163
01:40:33.400 --> 01:40:35.160
I have a lot of words.

1164
01:40:35.160 --> 01:40:38.280
Some people are like, whoa, Carla, it's too much.

1165
01:40:38.280 --> 01:40:42.200
And if it is, if I ever respond to you and you're like, Carla, this isn't help me because

1166
01:40:42.200 --> 01:40:46.040
it's too much words, tell me, because I'll scale my words back.

1167
01:40:46.040 --> 01:40:49.080
I really, really well.

1168
01:40:49.080 --> 01:40:53.760
But if you're someone that were like those words help you, like that's just generally

1169
01:40:53.760 --> 01:40:59.600
how I coach, but if it doesn't work for you, let me know, like I'm not going to be offended

1170
01:40:59.600 --> 01:41:01.340
if you're like, Carla, that doesn't work for me.

1171
01:41:01.340 --> 01:41:03.240
Like I'm here to serve you.

1172
01:41:03.240 --> 01:41:04.740
You're not here to serve me.

1173
01:41:04.740 --> 01:41:05.740
Okay.

1174
01:41:05.740 --> 01:41:07.300
So just, just know that.

1175
01:41:07.300 --> 01:41:12.200
And then if you need a few days to process, ladies, you don't have to go back to that

1176
01:41:12.200 --> 01:41:13.820
same post to reply.

1177
01:41:13.820 --> 01:41:15.420
You could just make a new post.

1178
01:41:15.420 --> 01:41:21.260
I actually prefer that because the admin buttons, like I think it's been probably a

1179
01:41:21.260 --> 01:41:27.580
year now, like they went haywire and I can't act like I don't get notified when you ladies

1180
01:41:27.580 --> 01:41:29.960
respond after I've replied to you.

1181
01:41:29.960 --> 01:41:31.240
Does that make sense?

1182
01:41:31.240 --> 01:41:34.920
And so I have to go through and scroll and click.

1183
01:41:34.920 --> 01:41:36.520
It's yeah.

1184
01:41:36.520 --> 01:41:41.720
And so I will do that like within the week or two, but if it, I mean, if you reply and

1185
01:41:41.720 --> 01:41:44.400
it's been like a couple of weeks, I might not see it.

1186
01:41:44.400 --> 01:41:50.000
So if you, if you need to make a separate new post, that is totally fine.

1187
01:41:50.000 --> 01:41:56.120
Be like, Hey, Carla, I, I'm just now processed through your response and I'm, I'm posting

1188
01:41:56.120 --> 01:41:57.840
here.

1189
01:41:57.840 --> 01:41:59.740
Like that's totally fine.

1190
01:41:59.740 --> 01:42:00.740
Okay.

1191
01:42:00.740 --> 01:42:05.940
And it's okay if, if you have a lot to process, even if I asked you questions and it's like

1192
01:42:05.940 --> 01:42:11.600
a lot, I, you're not, like I said, you're not here to serve me.

1193
01:42:11.600 --> 01:42:15.920
I don't need your response.

1194
01:42:15.920 --> 01:42:23.360
I ask the questions because my heart is to get you speaking with the Lord.

1195
01:42:23.360 --> 01:42:25.260
Does that make sense?

1196
01:42:25.260 --> 01:42:29.680
Because I really want you to know like it is never, it's never about me.

1197
01:42:29.680 --> 01:42:32.780
It's about you and your relationship with God.

1198
01:42:32.780 --> 01:42:33.780
Like he is your source.

1199
01:42:33.780 --> 01:42:35.600
I'm just a resource.

1200
01:42:35.600 --> 01:42:36.600
Okay.

1201
01:42:36.600 --> 01:42:39.200
All right, ladies.

1202
01:42:39.200 --> 01:42:42.820
And then yeah, Jennifer and Lisa, I hope you were able to post in the app and then that

1203
01:42:42.820 --> 01:42:45.800
way we can answer your question there.

1204
01:42:45.800 --> 01:42:51.220
And ladies, yeah, I don't hesitate to post in the app because I do see a lot of ladies

1205
01:42:51.220 --> 01:42:56.240
are going in and reading your post and then reading our responses.

1206
01:42:56.240 --> 01:42:58.680
And it's helping them too.

1207
01:42:58.680 --> 01:43:01.600
And so I want to encourage you to continue to do that.

1208
01:43:01.600 --> 01:43:03.800
And Kelly, don't be afraid.

1209
01:43:03.800 --> 01:43:05.200
All right.

1210
01:43:05.200 --> 01:43:12.000
You don't have to like whatever you feel comfortable with work, we just want connection.

1211
01:43:12.000 --> 01:43:13.000
Okay.

1212
01:43:13.000 --> 01:43:17.200
We're just going to put that into practice and we're going to, we're going to, you're

1213
01:43:17.200 --> 01:43:18.200
going to get some courage.

1214
01:43:18.200 --> 01:43:19.920
We're going to be praying some courage over you.

1215
01:43:19.920 --> 01:43:20.920
Okay.

1216
01:43:20.920 --> 01:43:23.180
And I just appreciate you coming.

1217
01:43:23.180 --> 01:43:29.780
I really do and being honest and real, like that in of itself takes a lot of courage.

1218
01:43:29.780 --> 01:43:31.660
So know that you can do it.

1219
01:43:31.660 --> 01:43:32.660
Okay.

1220
01:43:32.660 --> 01:43:36.580
All right, ladies, um, all right, I'm way over time now.

1221
01:43:36.580 --> 01:43:40.740
So I'm going to take off, but know that I'm praying for you, ladies and have a blessed,

1222
01:43:40.740 --> 01:43:41.740
wonderful day.

1223
01:43:41.740 --> 01:43:43.100
And I will see throughout the week in the app.

1224
01:43:43.100 --> 01:43:44.100
Okay, ladies.

1225
01:43:44.100 --> 01:43:45.100
Love you all.

1226
01:43:45.100 --> 01:43:52.100
[ Silence ]