WEBVTT

1
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:10.080
Hey guys, how you doing? Hope you're really well. Hey, I just wanted to hop on

2
00:00:10.080 --> 00:00:16.720
here real quick and share another story with you. Just another interaction that

3
00:00:16.720 --> 00:00:22.440
we had that was a little bit of a win that I wanted to give you a glimpse into

4
00:00:22.440 --> 00:00:28.480
for us. So this last weekend, my wife and I went away on a bit of a holiday with

5
00:00:28.480 --> 00:00:34.040
our family. And so we were hanging out with some friends in Fungamata, but

6
00:00:34.040 --> 00:00:39.040
we were staying in Taronga, which is about an hour north. And one of the

7
00:00:39.040 --> 00:00:43.320
days of our trip, our son Jackson desperately wanted to go back to the

8
00:00:43.320 --> 00:00:48.940
house an hour drive to go get something that he wanted to show to one of his

9
00:00:48.940 --> 00:00:55.360
friends. And obviously that wasn't gonna be an option for us. And so, you know, we

10
00:00:55.360 --> 00:01:00.480
said, buddy, I'm really sorry. That's not gonna happen. Just kept pushing, kept

11
00:01:00.480 --> 00:01:07.420
pressing. We said, I'm sorry son, we're not gonna change our minds. We love you so

12
00:01:07.420 --> 00:01:13.440
much. We're sorry you're having a hard time. Lots of empathy, but it just, he

13
00:01:13.440 --> 00:01:20.360
was obviously feeling powerless. So we usually know that when they start

14
00:01:20.360 --> 00:01:24.800
acting up, when little things like this start triggering them a bit more than

15
00:01:24.800 --> 00:01:30.460
seems normal, it's usually because they're feeling a lack of some sort of a

16
00:01:30.460 --> 00:01:40.120
need, right? And so we stopped to get some lunch and we wanted to get

17
00:01:40.120 --> 00:01:44.540
some sushi. And I brought Jackson with me. And while we were in

18
00:01:44.540 --> 00:01:53.000
line, I just said, hey buddy, can you help me? Can you help me with holding this

19
00:01:53.040 --> 00:01:58.240
container? It's a little takeaway container for the sushi. I had one and I let him

20
00:01:58.240 --> 00:02:06.040
hold one. And immediately his entire mood shifted. And he went from being very

21
00:02:06.040 --> 00:02:14.520
frustrated, very challenging, to completely positive. No more problems. And

22
00:02:14.520 --> 00:02:22.080
just as simple as handing him a plastic container to help me get the sushi. And

23
00:02:22.080 --> 00:02:26.480
then I had him hold the sushi and carry it back to the car. And it completely

24
00:02:26.480 --> 00:02:31.760
changed his entire mood. And the reason for that is because we all have this

25
00:02:31.760 --> 00:02:37.120
deep core need for significance. And this is something that, you know, I'm kind of

26
00:02:37.120 --> 00:02:40.440
preaching to the choir here because it's something that I need to get better. It's

27
00:02:40.440 --> 00:02:43.120
something I think we need to get better at. We're pretty good at some of the

28
00:02:43.120 --> 00:02:48.600
other needs, but if you watched the parenting course that we did

29
00:02:48.600 --> 00:02:53.600
not long ago, one of the talks that we do talks about the core needs that all

30
00:02:53.600 --> 00:02:59.280
of our kids have. And how if they're not getting any of those core needs met, it's

31
00:02:59.280 --> 00:03:05.000
gonna manifest itself somewhere in the form of misbehavior or challenge. And one

32
00:03:05.000 --> 00:03:09.360
of those needs is significance. It's the need to feel needed. It's the need to

33
00:03:09.360 --> 00:03:14.600
feel important. And so I think that's something that I'm working on

34
00:03:14.600 --> 00:03:19.040
that, you know, it's just not something you think about very much. Or at

35
00:03:19.040 --> 00:03:22.920
least it's not something I think about very much. But as soon as I gave Jackson

36
00:03:22.920 --> 00:03:27.560
that plastic container to help me carry the sushi, everything shifted in that

37
00:03:27.560 --> 00:03:32.360
moment. And his whole mood changed for the rest of the day. Simple as that. So I

38
00:03:32.360 --> 00:03:36.480
just wanted to share that with you. I'm gonna drop a link to that course, that

39
00:03:36.480 --> 00:03:42.000
talk I'm talking about, in the comments. Feel free to jump onto that. Yes, it's a

40
00:03:42.000 --> 00:03:46.120
really good time that we had together. Lots of gold in there. So I just wanted

41
00:03:46.120 --> 00:03:50.360
to share that little story, that little nugget with you. Hope it helps. And I hope

42
00:03:50.360 --> 00:03:53.760
you guys are doing really awesome enjoying the summer. Or not summer,

43
00:03:53.760 --> 00:03:59.000
depending on where you are in the world. And bless you guys. And we'll catch you

44
00:03:59.000 --> 00:04:01.880
soon. Alright, cheers.