Well hey there everybody, how we doing?
I really hope that you are doing incredibly well.
I know for me, I am really enjoying this change of seasons.
It feels like the Lord's doing something really special in my family.
We're seeing some really cool breakthroughs that I'm excited to share about with you guys
in the coming future.
But right now I just wanted to jump on and follow up with some Q&A.
So a couple of weeks ago I put out in the group, just for anybody who wanted to ask
any questions, that we could have a bit of a discussion together as parents.
I could offer any insight I may have.
I've spent a lot of time diving into this parenting space, many, many, many, many hours,
many books, many courses, dreaming with the Lord, sitting with Him, getting revelation
from the Word.
So yeah, it's just something I'm really excited to be able to help people in that space as
we're kind of journeying and seeing our own breakthroughs and being able to share some
of that with others.
So we had a couple of really good questions come through from Virginia.
So Virginia, thank you so much for putting yourself out there.
Very good questions.
I really hope that I can offer something here that will inspire you.
The nature of the questions, they're very personalized.
So there's only so much I think I can offer in this type of a setting or this type of
context.
I think probably the best thing would actually be if we were to have a conversation.
And then I could ask you some questions.
You could bounce some stuff off me.
If you're open to that, feel free to reach out to me.
I'd love to have a conversation with you and we can kind of brainstorm together.
The question, you asked a couple of questions, but the first one you asked was, how do you
get, for you, it's your 13-year-old boy, to want to connect with God?
You mentioned that he's experienced a lot of church.
He's grown up kind of going to church, had a lot of experience in church.
It's not an uncommon story, right?
You said he's kind of maybe even starting to feel a little bit anti-God.
So I guess my first question would be, how is his relationship with you and with his
dad?
Because more often than not, our kids' relationships directly reflect, our kids' relationships
with the Lord, directly reflect their relationships with their parents.
We as parents kind of reflect who God is in their lives.
That's something that we talk a lot about in our parenting challenge.
We go a lot deeper into this kind of idea that we as parents, a lot of the time we formulate
what we believe to be true about God.
So the closer relationship our kids have with us as parents, typically that will then inform
how they relate to God.
That's kind of the basic version of it.
I talk a lot more about it in our parenting challenge.
If you haven't gone through that, I'd encourage you to do so because I think it might be quite
helpful.
So breaking cycles of disconnection and how those cycles, a lot of times even subtle and
hidden cycles, can directly impact our kids' relationships with the Lord.
Now I don't know your story, I'm going to assume you're doing amazingly well.
You seem like you are, so good on you for putting yourself out there.
You also say that he's been exposed to a lot of church.
But I would ask the question, how much has he been exposed to the power and the presence
of the Holy Spirit?
Because being exposed to church more often than not, quite often will actually have a
negative impact.
I'd say that most churches preach a powerless gospel, and especially the age that your son
is.
That early teen years, they want something that's real.
Teenagers can smell something that's inauthentic from a mile away.
So they need to experience, if the church, even if it's preaching a powerful gospel,
they need to be demonstrating that as well.
Because a lot of times churches, they won't preach a gospel of power, or they won't preach
a gospel of presence.
They'll preach a powerless gospel, but even the ones that do quite often preach a gospel
of power and presence, they don't actually make space for that to happen.
So in that sense, it's also quite inauthentic.
And I think that can quite often lead a lot of people into a place of disappointment and
bitterness towards God, because they feel like He then doesn't actually show up.
Because that's what our churches, a lot of times, more often than not, unfortunately,
our churches kind of demonstrate a powerless gospel.
I would say it's really important that your son is activated into actually being able
to have his own experience with the power and the presence of the Lord.
And I think that's probably obvious.
But I know for me, my story, when I really kind of, everything shifted for me.
I was actually about 13, I was about the same age, and I went to a summer camp, and I just
encountered the love and the presence and the power of God in a really intense and powerful
way.
And I just heard Him speak directly to my heart and just say, You're mine.
You know, and it just felt like I was a completely new creation, a new person.
And that's really when things became real to me.
I grew up in a Christian family, but it wasn't really personal to me until I personally experienced
the love of God and the power of God in that way.
So you know, that's a big part of my story.
But yeah, I don't know what it looks like for you guys and for your son, but a couple
of examples of what we're doing with our kids, or at least our oldest, who's almost five.
We're giving him a lot of opportunities to actually experience and try and activate him
into experiencing the Lord for himself.
And a lot of times that'll look like either praying for him or him praying for his sister
if somebody's been hurt.
I know one time he tweaked his knee, and I prayed for his knee, and his knee got healed.
And he's like, What happened?
And I just explained, Hey, Jesus healed your knee.
He likes to heal people.
And he just was like, That's so cool.
That's awesome.
And I said, Hey, you know, he actually likes to speak to people too.
He loves to talk to us and just kind of activating him and hearing God's voice.
What do you think Jesus might be saying?
Why don't we just take a moment and listen to what we think He might be saying?
And even just the other day, he just started cleaning up some of his toys on his own without
being asked.
And I said, Hey, buddy, that's so cool.
I love that you just started cleaning up those toys without being asked.
That was really cool.
What made you do that?
And he said, I don't really know what it made me do that.
I think maybe it was Jesus whispering to me.
Because we've actually been talking to him about how a lot of times when we hear God,
it just sounds like He's whispering in our ear.
And, you know, my point is, you know, ownership.
They have to have ownership.
It has to be a personal experience.
And the more that we can give them those opportunities to be activated in that, the better.
So maybe for you, that looks like sending him to a summer camp.
Or maybe it looks like worship nights or ministry outreach trips.
I don't know.
But it's just some ideas to hopefully get your mind going.
And let's see here.
Yeah, they need personal, they have to have personal experiences.
We can talk theology to our kids all day, but it has to be their own personal experience.
Let's see here.
What was the other question?
It was really good.
How do you motivate them to have a dream of their own?
And how do you motivate them towards their dream or their life purpose instead of wasting
their time?
Right.
So I think what I would say to that is, you know, He...
He does have dreams of his own.
We all do.
We all have God-given dreams and passions and desires that are placed in us.
And he just needs help figuring out what they are.
And so you as a parent will know him, and you'll know him quite often better than he
knows himself.
So that's a journey that you guys can go on together is figuring out what is he passionate
about and then you get to kind of shape and craft that and partner with him and with God.
So as an example, kind of one piece of homework or an experiment that you could do might be,
I would imagine that he has maybe some favorite YouTube channels or some favorite show or
favorite YouTube videos that he watches.
Or maybe it's a game that he plays.
There will be something that he loves, that we're all naturally passionate people.
And so what I would challenge you to do is sit with the Lord and ask the Lord to show
you what about those things that he loves.
What about those things, ask the Lord to show you what that means about who he is.
And maybe there's a game that he loves to play.
And the Lord will say, I love that, I don't want to give you too many details because
I want the Lord to speak to you about it, but maybe it's, I love that there's this certain
aspect of this game and it says that he's a man of courage and he loves protecting people.
And just kind of go on this journey together of discovering what his current passions are
and what those speak to about his destiny and let the Lord speak to you about those
things.
And then go on a journey with your son and just craft that together and walk through
it together.
And you can kind of coach him through that and it's kind of a coaching thing, right?
Just asking questions, you could sit down and just ask him some good questions.
Why do you think you're so passionate about fill-in-the-blank?
What is it about fill-in-the-blank that makes you feel that way?
And just see what happens.
If nothing else, it'll be some good conversation pieces and some good bonding times together.
That off the top of my head, that's what I have for now, barring kind of a conversation
or a chat together.
So feel free to reach out to me if you want to have a discussion.
And maybe we can even do it live on the Facebook feed and other people can look in and learn
and grow from that discussion.
I don't know, just a thought.
Feel free to reach out.
And if nothing else as well, if you're watching this and you want to have a discussion or
you want to ask some questions, feel free to reach out to me.
I'd love to do more of these conversations together because we're all on a journey.
We're all on a journey.
We're all learning.
We're all growing.
And the more we can help each other, the better.
So yeah, Virginia, I hope that helps.
I really appreciate you reaching out.
And yeah, feel free to get in touch if you want to go deeper together.
But bless you.
And also I just want to say, don't feel any mom guilt.
We don't need guilt.
It's not going to help you.
It doesn't serve you.
The fact that you're asking questions automatically sets you apart from the vast, vast majority
of parents out there.
So pat yourself on the back.
There's a quote that I really love from a person named Dr. Becky.
She has a podcast.
She's incredible.
If you haven't heard of her, feel free to check her out.
And she says, we're all just making the best decisions that we can based on the information
that we have available at the time.
So you're doing the best that you can.
And from what I can see, it looks like you're doing a really good job.
So well done.
Also, I'm going to drop a link to another podcast that I know of that might help speak
to you a little bit along the kind of motivation, motivating their dreams.
So I'm going to drop that in the comments of this video.
Check that one out.
That's from a guy named Kirk Martin.
He's amazing.
He's got a podcast called The Calm Parenting Podcast.
Really good.
But yeah, anyway, I hope this helps.
You're amazing. Everyone watching, you're amazing. And thanks for sticking with us
to the end of this video. And yeah, onward and upward. Amazing things ahead.
Alright, thanks guys. Bless you.