The Good Father written by Benji Alexander, illustrated by Courtney Gaudion, narrated
by Adam Naranjo.
Dedication
This book is dedicated to kids who don't yet know that they are perfectly loved.
Little kids and kids that grew up.
May the power of this story help every part of your heart to discover that you are already
as loved as loved can be.
Acknowledgements
The Trinity, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
Thank you for revealing the awe, the wonder, the delight, the ecstasy, the joy, and the
bliss of your love to me.
Thank you for teaching me how to live in the ocean of your manifest love on a moment-by-moment
basis.
I have gifts because you gave them.
May they honor you and may they reveal you so that others can enjoy the awe, the wonder,
the delight, the ecstasy, the joy, and the bliss of your perfect love.
My dad said to me once, follow your passion, son, and we will do whatever we can to support
you.
I founded my life on that.
Thanks, Dad.
You influenced me and empowered me more than anyone has or ever will.
At the critical stage of my life, your joy, your humor, your fun, your mischief, your
constant delight in me, and your life devoted to God helped me to discover that my father
in heaven is a good papa.
Mom, you've been constantly awesome too.
Thank you.
Words can't articulate the value of a mom like you.
Not only did you survive the process of raising a wild child like me, you've loved me and
championed me and delighted in me at every stage of my journey.
Alana, wow.
I can't even comprehend how you managed to do all that you do and how you do it so well.
You are my world.
It is my desire and my delight to honor, to serve, to enjoy, and to love you with my whole
heart.
You mean more to me than anyone else in this world.
You mean more to me than all my wild dreams.
Your love for me is so powerful.
Your kind, gracious, relentless love fills me with joy, bliss, significance, courage,
hope and strength, and with a passion to give everything I've got to loving you, to loving
our family, to pursuing our dreams, and to running in the calling of our lives.
Ezra, Zoe, and Alia, you have taught me so much about papa and about the nature of love.
The loving of you causes my heart to flood with love.
Thank you for being exactly who you are.
Each one of you is a priceless source of joy, love, and delight to me.
I feel like I won the best prize in the world to have you as my children.
I love you and I love being your dad.
John Steffens, you're so much more than a pastor.
You're the best spiritual father I've ever known.
Even when there were literally only a few of us at the very beginning of the launch
of the church, Fiordland and New Life Church has always been the best church I've ever
been a part of because of you.
Thanks for being a father and for raising up sons.
Serving you, knowing you, adventuring with you, having fun with you, and dreaming with
you has been one of the greatest privileges of my life.
Courtney Gaudion, thank you for sharing this fantastic adventure with me.
Your pictures say a thousand words.
I encounter the love of our Papa in heaven just looking at them.
You have captured the heartbeat of heaven in your drawings and they create a powerful
synergy with this story that I believe will transform lives all over the world.
May multitudes encounter the Father's love through what you have drawn.
I would also like to express enormous gratitude to my designer, Crystal Fleming, from indigoink.co.nz.
Crystal, it is a joy to work with you, and I'm always delighted with the finished product.
Your associate, Don Mega, has also been a constant source of inspiration and encouragement.
Thank you once again for all that both of you have done.
The Good Father
Introduction
Jesus' most beautiful articulation of the gospel message, or the good news as he called
it, is found in Luke 15, 11-32.
Known to many as the story of the prodigal son or the story of the lost son, it could
also be titled the story of the good father.
When Jesus told this story, his audience was a crowd of tax collectors, sinners, and
sinners, probably addicts, prostitutes, thieves, adulterers, a whole lot of people who were
all the black sheep of their own families, and grumbling Pharisees, religious people,
who were offended by Jesus's association with all these sinners.
Allow me to use some cultural context and a little poetic license to bring this story
alive.
Please also read Luke 15 11-32 for the full biblical account.
Chapter 1 Betrayal
This story begins with a notorious event that shocks an entire village.
The outrageous news spreads as one of the hot topics of gossip beyond the village itself
to the borders of the nation.
When wives cautioned their husbands, you don't want to be like that incompetent father.
The husbands knew what they were hinting at.
When parents cautioned their children, you don't want to be like that disgraceful son.
The kids knew what they meant.
The scandal was household news.
It was commented on at the synagogue and other public forums, where the strongest condemnation
possible was expressed at the complete moral failure of both the father and the son.
What was this scandalous news that was spreading from person to person and village to village?
It was the news of a son's extreme rebellion and a father's tragic incompetence.
It took place within a wealthy family in Israel, whereby in an act that defied the values of
their entire nation, this son disowned his father and his family.
The son insisted that his father give him his inheritance immediately.
He wanted nothing to do with his father.
He just wanted his money.
The son didn't care if his father lived or died.
In the context of Jewish society and culture, honoring your father was one of the highest
duties of a son.
When Jesus' listeners heard that this son had dared to request his inheritance from
his father, they would have seen him as one of the biggest scumbags on the planet.
I can visualize a corporate atmosphere of disgust towards the son rising tangibly amongst
the crowd.
Even with all these sinners in the crowd, none of them are likely to have ever done
something that in their eyes was so vile.
In any culture, this would be one of the highest levels of betrayal and dishonor that
a son could possibly commit against his father.
These Jewish listeners believed the son in this story to be public enemy number one.
In fact, they would have already been anticipating the next part of the story.
They would have been anticipating the son being completely disowned and a punishment
of death by stoning.
At bare minimum, this son should be disowned and receive the beating of a lifetime.
They would have been anticipating the father's wrath to be poured out on the son.
Surely this wicked son was about to suffer the wrath of his father.
In that culture, if there was a line to cross which would incur immediate rejection from
your family, this was it.
Dishonor your father by telling the whole world that your father means nothing to you
and you would prefer that he was dead.
All he was good for was his money.
The son had publicly disowned and dishonored his father.
In their culture at this time, children could be stoned to death for dishonoring their parents.
The fact that this father did not explode in a violent rage would have perplexed the
crowd.
It was a son's duty to honor his father and it was a father's duty to discipline
his son.
The father's failure to punish his son was almost as much of a moral failure as the son's
rebellion.
It would have caused the crowd hearing this story and also the people in the story to
perceive the father as a villain.
This tale that Jesus was telling these people was absolutely scandalous.
It got under their skin.
It was causing an emotional response from the hearers, who were anticipating wrath and
justice.
His father's failure to punish his son caused the crowd to judge him as a morally deficient
father.
The fact that this father did not follow the cultural protocol automatically set him apart
as a very unusual father and a very bad father.
As the story proceeds, we now have two villains in the eyes of the crowd of listeners and
in the eyes of the people in the story.
story. The Rebellious Son and the Incompetent Father
The whole village knew the family. Their culture revolved around community. They were a great
example of the saying, it takes a village to raise a child. Enforcing justice was a
community responsibility. However, before the news got out to the whole community and
even before they had time to get organized or gather their stones, the Rebellious Son
had fled. Not just to another village. The news of the
incidents and the resulting fatal justice it deserved would have caught up to him in
another village. Not just to another region. The news and the justice would have caught
up with him almost anywhere he went in the nation.
The Son fled the culture, fled the justice, fled the fear, the guilt, and the shame,
and he kept riding with his bags of money until he reached a distant nation.
There would be no punishments inflicted on the Father, except that of ruined reputation.
The whole nation passed a condemning judgment on this Father as a bad father.
Jesus goes on to tell us that the Son wasted his wealth on wild living. The crowd surrounding
Jesus would have been reading into that and assuming, just as the older brother did, that
he was hiring prostitutes and was without any moral compass. For this crowd, the fact
that he wasted the wealth of his inheritance was considered as wicked as sleeping with
prostitutes. This young man is crossing every line of decency, and they want to see justice.
They want to see punishment. With the escape of the Son and the rumors
of his twisted lifestyle, the story gathered momentum and notoriety throughout the entire
nation. Months had gone by. The Father sat in his
seat on the porch again, alone, in the middle of the night. The servants had gone to bed,
his eldest son had gone to bed. But the Father couldn't sleep. There was a bright full
moon. The Father could see clearly as he looked toward the horizon and the long dusty road
coming from the village. He could see that the road was empty. He slowly drank his hot
drink warming his hands on the mug. His heart overflowed with love for his son.
In response to his broken heart, a silent, glistening tear rolled its way slowly to the
corner of his eye. The Son sat up that night too. The rumors
were true. Actually, the rumors didn't capture even half of his lost son's story. He had
managed to keep his truly dark and defiling secrets hidden. The rumors did not portray
how deep the darkness was in this lost son's heart. The rumors did not portray how a part
of him wished he had been punished and executed. That would at least be a permanent escape
from an internal world of turmoil. Another wave of emotional pain brutally ripped
right through him. Once again he reached for his half-full bottle. A prostitute lay asleep
beside him. She was a sedative to numb the reality that his heart was void of love.
He liked her, but he hated her. He didn't even know why he hated her. He hadn't processed his
own emotions deeply enough to understand what was really controlling them and what was really
controlling him. But something about her made him angry. He wasn't aware that he hated her
because she represented the fact that what he desired most was out of his reach.
Thinking about the reasons behind his emotions was an unbearable feeling. He never went there.
Instead, he had another drink. The truth that lived deeper than his conscious awareness and
dwelt in his unexplored subconscious mind was that this prostitute made him angry because he believed
that was the only way he could get love. And deep down he knew it wasn't real love.
He hated her because she reminded him that he did not believe he was worthy of love.
He had never believed that he was worthy of love. That was why he hated his father, too.
He had lived in the same house with that man his whole life, and he had never felt worthy of his
love. He didn't simply believe that he wasn't worthy of his father's love.
He believed that he wasn't worthy of love, period. He didn't just hate his father because
of this. Most of all, he hated himself. Beneath the surface of things, even as he
grew up, he had always been tormented by a ferocious sense of inadequacy. Ever since
he could remember, he had felt this way, and had been tormented by the insecurities associated
with beliefs of inadequacy. It festered into a world of shame and condemnation, and a raging
case of unworthiness. Perceived inadequacies had become his prison that isolated him from
the possibility of ever receiving love, regardless of how close and how unconditional that love
had always been. As he looked out the window at the moon, he began thinking to himself
again that his loveless existence could never change. His heart overflowed with hopelessness.
In response to his broken heart, a silent, glistening tear rolled its way slowly to the
corner of his eye. Finally, it starts getting better for the crowd as they hear that having
wasted all his wealth, this wicked son is in poverty. Not only is he in poverty, he
is subjected to the ultimate humiliation of being the servant of pigs. Pigs were considered
ceremonially unclean animals, and raising pigs was unclean work. This son is now completely
defiled and has reached the pinnacle of failure. The crowd is hungry for justice.
He didn't go straight to the pigs. This son was so addicted to his self-medicating
practices that he subjected himself to desperate acts in order to fund his addiction. These
desperate acts only intensified the consuming conviction of his own inadequacy. Eventually,
every door closed on him. His perpetual oppression by inadequacy, shame, condemnation, and unworthiness
made healthy relationships impossible. Everywhere he went, relationships failed and chaos followed.
He had nothing. He had no one. He was homeless. He was broke. He didn't belong anywhere.
On top of all this, he was going through major withdrawals.
At the end of himself, he sat down in the shade. His back was against a tree, his face
towards the street. The Middle Eastern sun was blazing. Beads of sweat swelled up from
his forehead. His tongue dried out inside his mouth. The unsatisfied urges of his alcohol
addiction whipped him repeatedly and ruthlessly. The withdrawals caused his body to spontaneously
spasm and tremble. One of the high-class prostitutes that he
had spent so many nights with walked along the street in front of him, ready for work.
His heart rate increased. His blood started pumping. They had shared so many beautiful
moments. He called out to her and she turned. Her eye contact was powerful. Her eyes used
to dance and hold his gaze with erotic invitations, but today her eyes held no affection for him.
No acceptance. Today, her eyes fueled his internal narrative of unworthiness and rejection.
All of the facades that his money had bought him faded like smoke. Despite all the sex
and wild moments they had shared, this was the most vulnerable she had ever been with
him. This was their most honest moment. There was no erotic dance in her eyes. Now the honesty
in her eyes shattered the illusion she had once portrayed. The truth in her eyes struck
him forcefully. He finally realized the painful truth that the shame-inspired hatred that
he had felt towards her was perfectly mutual. The floggings of withdrawal and the floggings
of inadequacy matched each other in their relentless administration of torture. Physically,
emotionally, and spiritually, he was pioneering new depths of internal darkness. His only
remaining friend, his only remaining escape, was sleep. Overwhelmed by everything, he laid
down in the shade and closed his eyes. He slept and that afternoon quietly passed away.
Instead of being woken by a sleep terror this time, he was woken by a bearded man. An ugly
bearded man.
This bearded man was graphically ugly, inside and out. The ugly bearded man kicked him in
the leg, hard. The twisted odor of narcissism clung to this ugly bearded man like the stench
of the pigs he farmed. As the son's eyes adjusted to the light and to consciousness,
he could make out the eyes of the ugly bearded man who stood above him.
The first thing he noticed was the absence of kindness and warmth. Instead, he immediately
saw lethal brutality and manipulation flashing in his eyes.
The kick in the leg turned out to be a job offer. He got it, too. He got the only job
he was fit for—feeding pigs. There was no minimum wage. He was a glorified slave. The
ugly, stingy bearded man didn't care if this homeless bum lived or died. If he dies,
he can be pig food. Until then, this street rat can feed my pigs, thought the ugly bearded
man.
It was while he was in this dark place that the son began coming to his senses. He assessed
his circumstances and came to the sobering conclusion that if he didn't figure out
something soon, he was going to starve to death. But which was worse? Starve to death
or go back and face his father after the way he had publicly betrayed him, dishonored him,
and squandered the family's wealth?
Then there was the fact that the whole village and probably the whole country wanted him
dead. The thought of it instantly released a paralyzing explosion of fear and shame through
his whole being. Maybe dying here with these pigs and his ugly bearded boss was better
than that. He carried on feeding the pigs and tried to avoid thinking about his father.
Time ticked by and the famine in the land caused the food supply to slowly wither away.
The choice the son had to make started to become very, very real. Die of starvation
or return to his father and face the consequences, however severe they may be.
Again the thought of it was like a lightning strike of fear, shame, and negative emotions.
The sense of being unworthy that he had felt before he left home was now out of control
and coursing through his soul like venom. He was persuaded that the darkness he had
walked in defined him. His failure to attain moral perfection reinforced his conviction
that he was worthless and unlovable. His dark secrets tormented him with an ever-present
excruciating shame. He decided to spend more time with the pigs and his ugly bearded boss
rather than face his father.
CHAPTER 2 Courage
The famine continued stripping the land bare. Hope for this nation evaporated like the streams.
He finally decided that returning to his father was his only survival option. The withdrawal
symptoms were subsiding. His mind began to clear a little more.
Throughout this story, the father is a constant. He is always a good father. The culture of
the day had judged him as a moral failure, despite the fact that this father's morals
clearly surpassed their interpretation of morality. This father has his own normal.
He was his own standard. And that standard is a love that never fails. The father standard
is a mercy that triumphs over judgment. The culture of the day had judged the father incompetent
for failing to manipulate and control his son with threats, punishment, and violence.
He ignored their condemnation and judgment, refusing to stoop to their shallow level of
relationship, which was infused with manipulation and control. The father had something far
more beautiful in mind. He was willing to do whatever it would take to share an authentic,
mutual, loving relationship with his son. The father made himself totally vulnerable
before his son by respecting the son's freedom and power to choose who, how, and when he
would love. The father's courageous vulnerability empowered the son to break his heart, over
and over again. If this son had understood how loved he had always been and how much
his father had always desired relationship with him, he would never have come to the
place where he didn't care
his father lived or died. The reality is that this son misperceived who his father really
was. This son had a false definition of his father, which caused a dramatic relational
disconnection. The belief that he was inadequate, unworthy, and unlovable prevented him from
ever seeing the truth that his father had always loved him with a perfect, unconditional
love. Even as he embarks on that dry and dusty road towards home, it is clear that
he still has no grasp of the extreme love that his father has for him. I wonder how
many times the fear and shame stopped him in his tracks, or caused him to turn back
towards the pigs, or even run towards them. Leaving hadn't been easy for the son. There
were internal and external obstacles. One obstacle being that his ugly-bearded boss
didn't like his slaves running away. Officially, he wasn't a slave, but he didn't exactly
have a job contract. In the abusive eyes of his ugly-bearded boss who didn't care if
he lived or died, he was effectively a slave. He slipped out in the night with a stash of
stolen pig food to eat on the road, and put as much distance between himself and his ugly-bearded
boss as he possibly could. For the first week, he traveled at night and hid by day. He has
now lost count of how many days he has been walking. Hungry, exhausted, and emotionally
drained, the son reaches the border of Israel. After three more days of walking, he can finally
see his village on the horizon. He was wearing a ragged cape with a large hood that covered
most of his face. He didn't want to be seen, and so far, nobody on the road recognized
him. However, as the hills started to become more familiar, and he started coming closer
to the village that he grew up in, other travelers on the road began looking twice. He was a
curious sight. With his downcast look, bare feet, poor dress, and unpleasant aroma, he
appeared a little suspicious. Perhaps they thought he was a runaway slave. A boy he went
to school with walked right past him. Did he recognize me? thought the son to himself,
in shock, as his heart began thumping. They both kept walking. He had to go right through
the village to get to the farm, so he decided to walk that section in the dark. He found
a discreet place to camp a day's walk from home. He hid there and tried unsuccessfully
to sleep until just after midnight. Although he was used to fear, anxiety, and stress,
he was now experiencing whole new levels of emotional chaos. But he could see no other
viable survival option. Die with the pigs or face his father? Honestly, right now,
as the fear and shame ravaged him internally, dying with the pigs was becoming more and more
appealing. Compared to how savagely his own mind was treating him right now, his ugly bearded boss
was saintly. The son easily escaped from his ugly bearded boss, but he could not escape himself.
His internal voice of condemnation was a prison, in which he had lived his whole life. The closer
he came to his father, the more intense the mental self-harm became. If he hadn't walked
so far to get to where he now was, he may actually have chosen death with the pigs,
rather than facing his father. His feelings of self-hatred reached a record high. Every step
that he took towards his father and towards the consequences of his past was exponentially harder
than the last. Head down and anxiety high, he forced himself to walk on. It was a motionless
morning. The road into town was dark, silent, and empty. This was it. Today he would see his father.
As he walked, he pondered as many potential outcomes as possible. Every one of them scared
him. Every one of them reinforced his belief in his own inadequacy, and every one of them
endorsed this constantly growing hatred of himself. As he walked silently and alone through the
darkness, he considered the fact that today could be the day that he died. What had he accomplished
with his life? More harm than good, he thought to himself. Every thought he had seemed to
inflict another level of punishment. Even his own mind had turned against him.
It took several hours to make his way to the edge of the village. A few lamps burned in
houses in the village itself, and he moved from shadow to shadow. The occasional dog
barked and roosters crowed at random. But he made it through the village unseen.
Soon he stood on the crest of a hill overlooking the village behind him. The sun was rising.
The cover of darkness was all but gone. Half a day's walk lay before him and his past
and future. Even though he was walking quickly, his whole body was covered in a cold sweat
of pure dread. He had already passed a handful of people
in the dark. The road would now start to get much busier. Less than an hour later, one
of his old neighbors approached with three donkeys fully loaded and bound for the village.
Shalom! said the neighbor. Shalom! said the sun with his face to the ground.
For a second the neighbor thought he recognized the voice. After they passed each other they
both looked back at the same time and for a brief moment they locked eyes.
The neighbor knew instantly who it was. The sun saw the condemnation begin to flicker
like hellfire in his eyes. They both turned and picked up their pace. The sun knew that
news of his return would very soon be known throughout the entire district. The severe
consequences he had left behind had waited patiently for his return.
The neighbor knew as well as the sun did, the risk the sun had taken in returning.
The neighbor knew that there may be a stoning today. He took upon himself the responsibility
to tell the village the news. Everything else went on hold as the demand for justice took
center stage. The sun hurried on as discreetly as he could.
Despite his desire to remain invisible a number of people recognized him. He heard some people
speaking to him, others shouting to him. But he could barely even register their existence.
He was under so much internal pressure that it required every ounce of his focus and energy
to take each step. He was consumed with agonizing thoughts of his father. He blocked out everything
else and kept walking.
Chapter 3 Vulnerability
Finally, the father's farm was in view. The climactic reunion drew ominously close.
The sun took one more step over the horizon line and came into the father's view.
The sun had no idea what the father's response was going to be. He paused before walking
a little further down the hill. Suddenly, he saw that his father was sprinting towards
him. The sun stopped right there, literally frozen in panic. He was unaware that a mob
had gathered and was fast approaching on the road just a short distance behind him. Justice
was a serious community responsibility. Now justice would finally be served.
At best, the sun thought he may be able to desperately beg for mercy and possibly be
given the role of a servant in his father's house. That would be better than dying with
the pigs and dealing with his ugly bearded boss. His best-case scenario was begging for
the right to become a servant. His worst-case scenario were either that beating he deserved
or the stoning that the village would demand.
One thing was very clear. The sun believed that because of his actions he had forfeited
any previous right to sonship. At least the crowd agreed with something in the story that
Jesus was telling. This sun's behavior had completely forfeited him from any right to
sonship. Ever. The closer his father ran the more terrified
the sun became. All the strength that he had mustered to come this far and overcome so
much fear and shame had taken its toll. He was at breaking point. As he watched the unusual
speed of his father charging down the road, his sense of alarm began to grow. He began
to shake physically as fear and shame rumbled through his veins like thunder. He could no
longer hide from his past. He couldn't self-medicate. He couldn't escape. He was forced to face
reality. He was forced to face this great terror in his heart.
His father quickly drew near.
The father had been watching, waiting, and longing for his son to come home.
Longing for a relationship.
Longing for reconciliation.
Longing for intimacy.
Longing for his son to see him for who he really was, and not as the monstrous father
that the son's imagination had invented.
The father had never been able to overcome the son's persuasion that he was unworthy
of love.
The son's own persuasion that he was unlovable had always prevented him from receiving his
father's love, no matter how desperately the father longed to pour it out on him.
Because the son never received love, he never felt loved, and the son used this unloved
feeling as justification for his theory that his father had never loved him and that he
would never be worthy of love.
The son's image of the father was so warped that he expected the worst from this moment.
His father kept running, not jogging.
The father was in full flight.
Jesus' crowd of listeners can't believe that the son didn't die with the pigs.
How did he manage to escape justice once again?
But now that the son has been forced to crawl back to his father, justice can at last be
served.
How cunning of the father to wait until the son has to come crawling back before administering
a severe punishment, on top of his ultimate humiliation.
Perhaps there is hope for this father to redeem himself in the eyes of the crowd.
The father is running towards this defiled, useless, disgusting boy, and this rebellious,
wicked outcast is about to get the pent-up wrath of an offended father unleashed on him
in full fury.
At last, the father's wrath will be fully satisfied.
The son can't take his eyes off his father.
This was it.
This was the moment of truth.
His entire focus was consumed by his father.
He did not see the growing crowd behind him, gathering stones and drawing dangerously close.
They were rushing.
They were aggressive.
They were demanding justice.
They were demanding punishment.
Fueled by wrath, they raced towards the son.
The father could see the crowd coming.
He had sat through many conversations with his own relatives, neighbors, and friends,
as they told him what they would do to his son if he ever showed his face again.
There was no way he was going to give them a chance to inflict their form of justice.
Inspired by love, the father raced towards the son.
Heart-pounding, chest-heaving, covered in sweat, the father reaches his son.
He instantly embraces him with a deep compassion and a fiery love.
Consuming the son in arms of love, the father holds his child, who once was lost, but now
is found.
The son could not hug back.
He could not express affection.
He just stood there, rigid yet trembling.
The son is obsessed with and depressed by the conviction of his own inadequacy.
He breaks down and gets to the root issue of what he has been secretly feeling forever.
It all comes out before his father as he gets more vulnerable than he has ever been and
admits the truth of what's really causing the emotional turmoil in his heart.
Everything inside him explodes.
The tears, the fears, the shame, the desperation.
I'm not worthy to be called your son, he screamed.
Tears and emotion were everywhere.
This conviction that he was inadequate and unworthy to be called his son is what drove
him from home in the first place.
Now it all comes out, messy and painful.
Tears, snot, raw emotion, and full exposure.
The son's broken and infected heart bleeds out before his father.
The son's tears cover his father and the father's kisses cover his son.
Chapter 4 A Seat at the Table
The unconditional acceptance, the love, the honor, and the favor that the father lavishes
on the son leaves everyone bewildered.
The crowd listening to Jesus cannot believe what has just happened.
This is the worst, most scandalous story they've ever heard.
It makes no sense.
In fact, it makes them vibrate with anger.
The son is speechless, hyperventilating, gasping for breath and choking on a rising stream of tears.
The father is ecstatic. When the older brother hears about what has happened, he is wild with
anger. The only one that Jesus' audience can relate to is the older brother and his outrage
at the absence of the flogging of a lifetime or worse. But as this story sinks in, as Jesus'
audience reflect on this foreign love, a deep place in their hearts is jealous to experience
it for themselves. They begin to feel a once-dormant, deprived part of their hearts
physically aching to know the radical love that has been poured out on this son.
In that moment, some of them ask themselves,
What would it be like to be loved so unconditionally?
Shouts begin to rise up from the gathering. Deadly demands for justice ring out from the
priests, the elders, the lawyers, the cousins, the uncles, aunties, and friends.
What will the father's decision be? What shall be done with this worthless son?
They grip their rocks in rage. The gentle love and kindness in the father's eyes blindsides
and captivates the son. They immerse themselves in each other's gaze.
The father's eyes tell a story that the son has never known.
The son has known the looks of rejection, hatred, brutality, and condemnation. But no matter how
deeply he reaches into his father's eyes, there is not a trace of these things.
He plunges desperately into them, expecting that rejection is hidden somewhere inside.
His father's eyes are baptizing him in the purest love that he has ever encountered.
The rejection that he assumed was there had never existed.
Waves of acceptance crash over him again and again. He can't understand why he had never seen
it there before. But he can see it clearly now. The eyes of the father are a cosmos of ecstasy
and delight in his son. The son is discovering that he has always been the focus of his father's
delight. The son can see that this limitless love in his father's eyes could take a thousand
lifetimes to explore. It is beyond his capacity to understand. He doesn't know why he's never seen
it before. But he cannot ignore it. He cannot resist it. And he cannot live without it.
For the first time since he was a little boy, he buries his face in his father's chest.
They grip each other in an embrace that simultaneously communicates a lifetime
full of pain and a future full of hope. The father has an unprecedented response
to the son's begging and the crowd's demands. He does not let the son continue to berate himself
and beg like a slave. The father breaks everyone's cultural protocols and expectations
as he demonstrates unconditional love for his son. The son himself is in serious shock.
Where's the wrath of the monstrous father that he believed had never loved him?
The father's love collides with his false perceptions like a sledgehammer on glass.
The core beliefs that he built his world on are shattering. The love is tangible and strong.
So strong that the son loses all his strength. An electric love surges right through him.
He melts in his father's arms. The father holds him up in this eternally desired
expression of delight. For the first time in his memory, the son drops his guard.
For a moment, his sense of inadequacy is eclipsed by his father's love.
And he receives this divine love into the depths of his love-starved soul.
His love-famished soul feasts at the same time as an uncontrollable flood of tears and snot
and pain continue pouring from him. The double-edged blade of love penetrates his heart.
It's hurting, but it's healing. The father continues to demonstrate to the son and to
everyone watching his unreserved endorsement of the legitimacy of his son's sonship.
At this stage, the son's world is spinning out of control.
The father called for his best robe. Immediately, the father placed his most exquisite garment
on his son. This robe is a statement of the father's protection.
The moment that the father's robe was placed on the son, every condemning accusation against
the son was cancelled.
The son is now wearing the best robe of the household.
It is his father's covering.
It represents the father meeting the son's need for protection.
It is a declaration of safety to the son.
This act of love is casting out all fear of punishment.
This act of love is cancelling every offense and every accusation of judgment and condemnation
associated with the son's failures.
This act of love is a declaration of total vindication and reconciliation.
This act of love is a declaration that the father has completely and freely forgiven
his son.
This act of love is an undeserved declaration of redemption and freedom from the darkness
of the son's past.
The level of offense in the crowd is now rising.
Where is the justice?
To them this is immoral, scandalous, against the laws of God and nature.
This is blasphemy, heresy, and surely Gentile theology all in one.
They believed that justice looked like punishment.
But the father is overwhelmed with delight.
He has no regard for the crowd's preconceived assumptions that he would pour out wrath on
his son.
The father had no intention of punishment.
It wasn't what he had ever wanted.
To the father justice looked like redemption and he gets exactly what he wants.
His son.
The crowd's appetite for blood is left completely unsatisfied by the father.
Moments later the father rushes a ring onto his son's finger.
This ring symbolizes identity.
In giving this ring the father is meeting the son's extreme need for identity.
The father is saying that everything which the son once believed defined him.
All his failures, all his dark secrets, everything negative that had ever been said about him
or that he had believed about himself is irrelevant.
This ring symbolizes the name, nature, and identity of the family and declares to the
son that he is exclusively defined by his father.
This ring declares to the son that the only valid reference point for his identity comes
from his father.
By doing this the father also powerfully communicates that this son has a home and a place of belonging
in his family.
He will be seated at the family table at the father's side.
The son can't stand.
He is overwhelmed with love and emotion.
He collapses to the ground and servants run to him.
Sandals are tied to his feet.
Slaves and servants did not wear sandals.
This act of the father was a declaration of provision.
The father was saying that he would not receive him back as a slave or a servant.
He would receive him back as a son and he would provide as a father.
Each of these three actions endorsed the legitimacy of the son's sonship.
Each of these actions revealed the nature of the father to supply protection, identity,
and provision.
Following this the father killed the fattened calf.
This calf would have been enough to feed the whole village.
It was a custom for wealthy families to invite the whole town or village to a banquet to
celebrate Bar Mitzvah.
A Bar Mitzvah is a coming-of-age celebration which took place on a son's thirteenth birthday
where a son is legally and publicly recognized as a son with all the legal rights, privileges
and responsibilities of sonship.
This was not an official Bar Mitzvah celebration but the father was making a public statement
similar to that of a Bar Mitzvah.
The father was publicly celebrating, recognizing and endorsing the full rights, privileges
and responsibilities of his son's sonship.
The whole village was invited to witness the father testify to the legitimacy of his son's
sonship.
The father wanted to endorse his son's sonship in the most public way possible.
Both the community around the father in the story and Jesus' audience were having a
major culture shock as they tried to process the actions of this eccentric, heretical,
villainous father.
This father defied their cultural expectations for wrath and punishment and dumbfounded them
with his unconditional acceptance and extravagant love.
The lost son was received humbly.
home as the object of his father's delight. While the son still smelt like a pigsty, the
father had wrapped him up in his passionate embrace.
Instead of separation, condemnation, wrath, humiliation, and bloodshed, this son is sitting
in the best seat at his father's side, wearing the best robe with a ring on his finger and
brand-new sandals on his feet, feasting at a celebration thrown in his honor to endorse
the legitimacy of his sonship. This son has discovered his seat at the table.
Seated beside his father, this son has finally found where he belongs. Instead of dying with
the pigs, he's dining with the father. Although the crowd was confused, speechless,
and offended, the story awakened within each of them a deep and ancient desire to experience
such a love for themselves. A jealousy for such a pure love began to sting the open wounds
of lack and inadequacy in their own hearts. Could such a love be any more than mythology
or heresy? They reflected on their own experiences of
what a father's love could look like. They all had different images coming to mind, the
good, the bad, and the ugly. All of their experiences of what a father's love is like
were different, but all of them paled in contrast to the extravagant love of this father.
Could I ever hope to experience a love like this? they wondered, secretly to themselves.
Even the son is seriously questioning whether this is too good to be true. Is this really
happening? All his expectations, his entire worldview, his reality, had been completely
devastated by his father's love. Truth is staring him in the face and declaring that
life is better and brighter than he had ever imagined. His heart, his brain, his emotions,
his spirit, his soul, are all exploding at the same time. It's too much to grasp the
full meaning of everything. This love has blown a brain fuse in the son. He makes the
best decision of his life and chooses to simply receive his papa's love. Even though it's
beyond his comprehension and his mind is spinning, his heart knows that he belongs in this seat
at his papa's table. Truth is convincing him that he is perfectly loved. For the first
time in his life, he is starting to see his papa as he really is. He is discovering that
his papa is a perfect lover. The more accurately he sees his papa, the more he loves him. The
offense and hatred he once held towards his father has been swallowed up by love and honor.
His papa's love is redefining everything that he ever knew about love. He has never
felt so safe. He has never felt so secure. In the context of perfect safety, vulnerability
is losing its terror. Surrounded by safety, authenticity cautiously emerges like a snail's
antenna. The masks of false identities that the son had worn as self-protection mechanisms
becoming irrelevant. This unconditional acceptance is drawing the son outside of himself.
He is discovering that nothing he has ever experienced compares to the ecstasy and the
bliss of this perfect love. This once-lost son has found a seat at the table. This once-lost
son is rediscovering the bliss of sonship. A genuine smile lights up his face. His eyes
radiate with the delight of a son who understands that he is perfectly loved.
Chapter 5 Conclusion
The term sonship is used here in a generic, non-gender-specific way. The term identity
is used here to refer to the generic identity of humanity as those made in the image of God,
not to a person's unique individuality and personality.
The parable of the Good Father is Jesus' most masterful articulation of the Good News.
Jesus exquisitely communicates the essence of the Good News with power and precision. Jesus
presents his definition of perfect theology—who God is—and his definition of the Gospel—what
the Good News is—in one of the most heart-gripping stories in the entire Bible. A father. A lost son.
Betrayal. Scandal. Secrets. Fear.
fear, shame, heartbreak, villainy, tragedy,
brokenness, addiction, bondage,
isolation, courage, vulnerability,
forgiveness, love, redemption,
identity, reconciliation, restoration,
sonship, family, belonging,
hope.
This story incorporates the most powerful themes in life.
It answers the most profound questions in life.
The pinnacle revelation in the midst of it all
is the unconditional, unfailing, unparalleled love
of our Father in Heaven,
whose unshakable love conquers the most hideous betrayals
without flinching or being damaged
or reduced or inhibited or restricted in any way.
It's a love that defies every adversity
and never relents,
a love that yearns for redemption, not punishment,
and reconciliation, not distance.
Using this story,
Jesus exposes the root issues of the human heart,
believing that we are inadequate
and that we won't have enough.
These beliefs flow from false definitions
of our Father in Heaven
and false definitions of our own identity.
When we have a false definition
of who our Father in Heaven is,
we come to believe that we will lack the things that we need,
protection, identity, provision.
Whenever we believe that we will be in lack,
it produces fear.
The nature of love, the nature of the Father, is to supply.
Lack produces fear, but love, love supplies.
That's how love casts out all fear.
Love brings a promise with it
that there will be more than enough.
Lack produces fear, but love supplies.
Love supplies the truth that we need to be free from fear.
Love supplies the revelation
that our hearts need to be fully persuaded
of our Papa's provision.
When we are fully persuaded
that our Father in Heaven will provide for us,
then it will be clearly evidenced by the reality
that there is no fear, anxiety, or worry in our lives.
The only way to get free from fear
is by discovering what this son discovered.
Eventually, he discovered that his father's love
was unconditional and he had always been loved.
Nothing he did or didn't do
ever stopped the father from loving him.
That is who the father is, a perfect lover.
After a lifetime of living in an unnecessary love deficit,
the son came to realize that his actions and mindsets
did not alter or diminish the father's love.
They altered his ability to experience
the present reality of his father's love.
It took great courage from the son to make the journey home
and to become vulnerable with his father.
However, it was in the context
of his courage and vulnerability
that he discovered the present reality of the love
with which his father had always loved him.
The father's unconditional acceptance
establishes an atmosphere of perfect safety,
an atmosphere that is safe to come home to,
a place where it's safe to be honest,
real, transparent, and vulnerable,
a place where it's safe to be ourselves.
In the context of unconditional acceptance,
we can expose ourselves and still be loved.
We can be known.
We can be intimate without fear of rejection.
In this place of unconditional acceptance,
we are given the opportunity to build trust.
As we protect and steward trust with safe behavior,
intimacy grows.
As intimacy develops, a sense of belonging grows with it.
As the son courageously came home
into that atmosphere of safety and acceptance,
his heart melted.
He repositioned his heart from a place of offense
towards his father to a posture of honor.
He discovered that offense shut his heart down
to receiving love,
but honor opened his heart up to receive his father's love.
Honor opened the floodgates for a baptism
in the father's love.
A false definition of our father in heaven
is not only the source of lack and fear,
it is also the root of inadequacy and shame.
We were made in the image of our father,
our papa in heaven.
He is the blueprint of our divine design.
We were made perfectly in the image of our father.
in his image, and he alone defines us. However, if we are not fully persuaded that we are
perfectly made in the image of our Father in Heaven, then we begin to experience feelings
associated with beliefs of inadequacy. Perfection is the secret standard inside of
every human soul that we measure ourselves by. If we come to believe that we are less
than perfect in any way, then inadequacy and shame begin to spread like a vicious rash
on our soul. The pathway to freedom from shame is becoming
fully persuaded that despite what you have been through in life, the only valid reference
for your identity is your Papa in Heaven. Nothing we have ever experienced in life has
any authority to redefine that which our Father in Heaven has already exclusively defined
in his image. Our Papa in Heaven made us in his image and we have been forever defined
by him alone. Believing in lack will produce fear and believing
in inadequacy will produce shame. Humans are allergic to shame. Shame is a toxic substance.
Shame comes from believing that you as an individual are inadequate in some way.
The belief that we are inadequate comes from a perception that things we have experienced
have authority to define our identity. This world is full of extreme trauma. I have
more friends than I can count who have been through extreme abuse and trauma.
The ones that get free from shame are the ones that embrace the truth that their experiences
have no authority to define their identity. The negative words spoken over their lives,
the neglect they suffered, the rape, the violence, the incest, the rejection, the betrayal,
the failure, the sin, the wounds, the fall, the works, none of these things have any authority
to define us. Nothing that we have ever experienced has the authority to redefine that which the
Father has already exclusively defined in his image.
We have been exclusively defined by our Father in Heaven. He is the only valid reference
point for our identity. He is the blueprint of our divine design.
If we are experiencing condemnation, shame, or a belief of unworthiness in any expression
in our lives, it is because we have allowed ourselves to be defined by something that
has no authority to define us. There is one outstanding and exclusive definition
of our identity that has the executive authority to define us, and that is Jesus.
Jesus perfectly revealed and modeled our Father in Heaven, and in doing so, he perfectly articulated
humanity's true identity, as those made in God's image. Every form of information
that you have ever received that gives definition to your identity, which is not in harmony
with what Christ revealed, is not valid. Jesus called the Son a Son for the entire
story. Even in his darkest hour, the Son was still as Son as a Son can be. Discovering
the present reality of his Sonship required the lies in his belief system to be shattered
entirely. His whole way of processing what defined him had to be completely rewired.
He had always believed that what he did, what people said, and what he experienced
defined his identity. This way of thinking is a system rigged to fail, a system that
will keep us chained to inadequacy, shame, and condemnation. The Son discovered that
the legitimacy of his Sonship had never been compromised by all his failures and rebellion.
As the Father endorsed the authenticity of his Sonship, he began to see that the only
valid reference point for his identity was his Father. He was exclusively defined by
his Father and he had always been as Son as Son can be.
Combining these two revelations in our lives empowers us to discover the bliss of Sonship
that this Son discovered in Jesus' Gospel narrative. Discovering unconditional love
and unconditional Sonship is what seats us at our Father's table. Our Papa is a perfect
lover and we are exclusively made and defined in his image. We are all perfectly loved and
we are all perfectly worthy of perfect love. We have not been qualified or defined by our
own failed attempts at perfection. We have been qualified and defined by our Papa in
Heaven, who made us in his image, and who has declared that we are his beloved children.
Just like the son in the story, your Father in Heaven longs to have you return home.
He has reserved a seat at the table for you.
He longs to celebrate you the way the son in the story was celebrated.
He longs to feast with you at the family table.
He longs to place his robe of protection over you, to place a defining ring on your finger,
to promise you provision and to welcome you home as a beloved child.
He wants you to take your place at the banqueting table.
Your Papa longs to publicly celebrate and endorse the legitimacy of your sonship.
He wants the whole world to know that you are perfectly, unconditionally, and extravagantly
accepted and loved by him.