WEBVTT

1
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:11.680
Have you lost someone dearly that you love?

2
00:00:11.680 --> 00:00:20.240
Well, it happens to all of us and unfortunately, recently in my family, we have lost someone

3
00:00:20.240 --> 00:00:22.120
that we love dearly.

4
00:00:22.120 --> 00:00:27.360
And today I just want to talk a little bit about grief and comfort.

5
00:00:27.360 --> 00:00:31.120
The Holy Spirit is our comforter.

6
00:00:31.120 --> 00:00:32.520
He's called the paraclete.

7
00:00:32.520 --> 00:00:40.280
He comes alongside to help us when we are hurting, when we are grieving, and we're processing

8
00:00:40.280 --> 00:00:42.360
loss.

9
00:00:42.360 --> 00:00:48.280
And I can tell you from experience that that is when my love for God and my love for Jesus

10
00:00:48.280 --> 00:00:52.000
becomes even dearer.

11
00:00:52.000 --> 00:00:58.760
It's often when I'm going through something that is just so painful, I don't even know

12
00:00:58.760 --> 00:01:00.280
how to process it.

13
00:01:00.280 --> 00:01:05.800
My name is Leanne Friesman, and this is Restoring Word, and it's a short devotional that's been

14
00:01:05.800 --> 00:01:11.480
designed just to encourage you and to speak life into you.

15
00:01:11.480 --> 00:01:17.560
There are so many verses that deal with comfort in the Bible, and I think probably one of

16
00:01:17.560 --> 00:01:23.640
the best ones comes right out of Psalms 23, and it's read a lot at memorial services and

17
00:01:23.640 --> 00:01:24.640
funeral services.

18
00:01:24.640 --> 00:01:33.240
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, no evil will come me.

19
00:01:33.240 --> 00:01:38.720
For you are with me, your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

20
00:01:38.720 --> 00:01:41.880
I will fear no evil.

21
00:01:41.880 --> 00:01:43.580
Isn't that a good word?

22
00:01:43.580 --> 00:01:49.420
For you are with me, your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

23
00:01:49.420 --> 00:01:56.220
The presence of God in your life is the ultimate form of comfort.

24
00:01:56.220 --> 00:02:03.980
And so when you're hurting, the most important thing I can tell you to do is to run to Jesus.

25
00:02:03.980 --> 00:02:05.860
Run to the Word of God.

26
00:02:05.860 --> 00:02:12.860
Begin to meditate on the Word of God, and that really is the one place where you can

27
00:02:12.860 --> 00:02:16.180
find comfort.

28
00:02:16.180 --> 00:02:21.940
In John 15, 26, But when the Helper comes, whom I shall send to you from the Father,

29
00:02:21.940 --> 00:02:27.500
the Spirit of truth, who proceeds from the Father, he's going to testify of me.

30
00:02:27.500 --> 00:02:35.220
The real comforter is Jesus, and Jesus will come by the Holy Spirit, and he will fill

31
00:02:35.220 --> 00:02:45.300
your heart with hope and with life and with an eternal hope that you are going to see

32
00:02:45.300 --> 00:02:47.540
your loved ones again.

33
00:02:47.540 --> 00:02:53.260
First Thessalonians 4, 13, But I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those

34
00:02:53.260 --> 00:03:00.500
who have fallen asleep, which is how Thessalonians describes the first death, lest you sorrow

35
00:03:00.500 --> 00:03:02.740
as those who have no hope.

36
00:03:02.740 --> 00:03:08.460
The good news is because of Jesus and because of what he did on the cross for us, we are

37
00:03:08.460 --> 00:03:11.220
going to have eternal life.

38
00:03:11.220 --> 00:03:14.980
And I want to recommend a book to you today by Randy Elkhorn.

39
00:03:14.980 --> 00:03:21.060
It's called Heaven by Randy Elkhorn, and I will say that this book is kind of my go-to

40
00:03:21.060 --> 00:03:22.660
when I'm grieving.

41
00:03:22.660 --> 00:03:30.180
This book does an in-depth study, a scriptural study, and really answers a lot of those questions

42
00:03:30.180 --> 00:03:32.300
regarding heaven.

43
00:03:32.300 --> 00:03:39.980
And when you're hurting and you're thinking about your loved one who is now in, honestly,

44
00:03:39.980 --> 00:03:46.520
a much better place, they're no longer suffering, they're no longer in pain, going to the Word

45
00:03:46.520 --> 00:03:53.660
of God and reading about where they are is truly the most comforting thing that you can

46
00:03:53.660 --> 00:03:55.060
do.

47
00:03:55.060 --> 00:04:01.500
And then I just kind of want to talk about some natural things about the grief process.

48
00:04:01.500 --> 00:04:03.340
You're going to grieve.

49
00:04:03.340 --> 00:04:08.060
There's a healthy way to do it, and there's an unhealthy way to do it.

50
00:04:08.060 --> 00:04:13.300
And it's unhealthy to deny the process, okay?

51
00:04:13.300 --> 00:04:15.220
You are going to grieve.

52
00:04:15.220 --> 00:04:20.820
There are going to be moments where it's going to feel almost unbearable.

53
00:04:20.820 --> 00:04:23.560
Run to Jesus.

54
00:04:23.560 --> 00:04:26.640
It does get easier.

55
00:04:26.640 --> 00:04:28.580
Maybe not immediately.

56
00:04:28.580 --> 00:04:30.380
Maybe not right away.

57
00:04:30.380 --> 00:04:37.940
But I can promise you, as you walk it out with Christ, day by day, event by event, it

58
00:04:37.940 --> 00:04:44.340
is going to get better, I promise.

59
00:04:44.340 --> 00:04:45.980
How can you process it?

60
00:04:45.980 --> 00:04:48.740
Well, number one, of course, run to the Word, okay?

61
00:04:48.740 --> 00:04:55.820
Number two, there are going to be times when the grief is going to be difficult, okay?

62
00:04:55.820 --> 00:04:59.660
Be prepared for those times, birthdays, anniversaries, holidays.

63
00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:03.360
Those firsts are often very difficult.

64
00:05:03.360 --> 00:05:05.040
I can remember when my mom died

65
00:05:05.040 --> 00:05:07.040
and I was going through my closet one day

66
00:05:07.040 --> 00:05:10.480
and all of a sudden I was seeing all the beautiful clothes

67
00:05:10.480 --> 00:05:12.000
that she had purchased for me

68
00:05:12.000 --> 00:05:14.120
and it just hit me really hard.

69
00:05:14.120 --> 00:05:15.880
There are going to be times

70
00:05:15.880 --> 00:05:19.180
where something is going to trigger the hurt

71
00:05:19.180 --> 00:05:22.600
and it's okay, it's okay.

72
00:05:22.600 --> 00:05:25.800
It's normal, it's part of that process.

73
00:05:25.800 --> 00:05:29.680
You're working it out and that's what's most important.

74
00:05:29.760 --> 00:05:33.440
Second, I think being distracted

75
00:05:33.440 --> 00:05:36.840
in a healthy way is helpful.

76
00:05:36.840 --> 00:05:39.040
For me, it was helpful to go back to work.

77
00:05:39.040 --> 00:05:42.980
It was helpful to meet with friends and family.

78
00:05:42.980 --> 00:05:47.980
It was helpful to read and to do things

79
00:05:48.340 --> 00:05:52.880
that were going to enable me to handle the grief.

80
00:05:52.880 --> 00:05:55.000
It doesn't work that way for everyone,

81
00:05:55.000 --> 00:05:58.940
but I would say, because honestly,

82
00:06:00.160 --> 00:06:02.600
when I lost my mom, I would say there was probably

83
00:06:02.600 --> 00:06:05.500
a good four to six months in there

84
00:06:05.500 --> 00:06:08.480
that I look back now, I don't even remember.

85
00:06:08.480 --> 00:06:13.000
That is your conscience's way

86
00:06:13.000 --> 00:06:15.600
of kind of preserving you from the hurt.

87
00:06:15.600 --> 00:06:17.440
There are things you're not going to remember.

88
00:06:17.440 --> 00:06:20.440
There are things that are gonna kind of be numb.

89
00:06:20.440 --> 00:06:23.160
It's okay, it's all right.

90
00:06:23.160 --> 00:06:24.560
You're processing it.

91
00:06:24.560 --> 00:06:26.120
You're gonna come out of it.

92
00:06:26.120 --> 00:06:29.760
You're going to come out of this in Jesus' name.

93
00:06:29.760 --> 00:06:33.120
So a healthy distraction, exercise,

94
00:06:33.120 --> 00:06:36.520
sleep, a good book, a good movie.

95
00:06:36.520 --> 00:06:40.100
Also, talking about the loved one.

96
00:06:40.100 --> 00:06:42.680
There are times where you need to talk

97
00:06:42.680 --> 00:06:45.760
and you need to reminisce and share those memories

98
00:06:45.760 --> 00:06:47.920
with people who love you and support you

99
00:06:47.920 --> 00:06:51.460
and who are gonna understand that you're in a process

100
00:06:51.460 --> 00:06:54.120
and you do need to talk.

101
00:06:54.120 --> 00:06:57.960
Another great suggestion is start a new tradition.

102
00:06:57.960 --> 00:07:02.960
Find a healthy way to honor your loved one.

103
00:07:03.880 --> 00:07:06.800
We started a foundation in honor of my mother

104
00:07:06.800 --> 00:07:07.940
and it's growing.

105
00:07:09.280 --> 00:07:14.280
Plant a tree, paint, write a poem.

106
00:07:14.400 --> 00:07:18.380
Find something healthy that will honor the person

107
00:07:18.380 --> 00:07:21.240
but also help you process your loss.

108
00:07:21.240 --> 00:07:25.680
And knowing that you're doing it in a very healthy way.

109
00:07:25.680 --> 00:07:28.320
Connect with other people that are around you.

110
00:07:28.320 --> 00:07:33.320
Draw people around you that will help you process.

111
00:07:34.000 --> 00:07:38.320
Being alone is not healthy when you're grieving.

112
00:07:39.300 --> 00:07:41.760
You need to have that outlet.

113
00:07:41.760 --> 00:07:46.360
And being alone and kind of being a loner

114
00:07:47.280 --> 00:07:49.840
doesn't give you that opportunity to talk.

115
00:07:50.840 --> 00:07:53.680
All of us need to have an outlet

116
00:07:53.680 --> 00:07:55.920
because when you talk, you're healing,

117
00:07:55.920 --> 00:07:58.080
as my husband likes to say.

118
00:07:58.080 --> 00:08:03.080
When you're talking, you are healing.

119
00:08:03.260 --> 00:08:05.800
And if you can get it out and you can get it

120
00:08:05.800 --> 00:08:09.400
in a healthy way, the Holy Spirit then can use

121
00:08:09.400 --> 00:08:13.280
what you're verbalizing to bring healing.

122
00:08:13.280 --> 00:08:15.960
Now, when it becomes debilitating,

123
00:08:15.960 --> 00:08:18.960
when it becomes something that shuts you down

124
00:08:18.960 --> 00:08:21.360
where you can't function or you can't think,

125
00:08:21.360 --> 00:08:23.240
then that's unhealthy.

126
00:08:23.240 --> 00:08:25.120
That's not natural.

127
00:08:25.120 --> 00:08:27.960
That is not, that's not God.

128
00:08:27.960 --> 00:08:32.100
We have our eternal hope in Jesus.

129
00:08:32.100 --> 00:08:36.460
Now, I know it gets hard when you're processing

130
00:08:36.460 --> 00:08:40.720
the loss of someone and you don't necessarily

131
00:08:40.720 --> 00:08:45.420
know where they are and that can be very hard.

132
00:08:45.420 --> 00:08:50.420
But only God knows, really, ultimately.

133
00:08:51.300 --> 00:08:54.140
And he is our comforter.

134
00:08:54.140 --> 00:08:57.120
And he ultimately knows where they are.

135
00:08:57.120 --> 00:09:00.120
So you can't be bothered by it.

136
00:09:01.120 --> 00:09:02.740
You've gotta go on living.

137
00:09:02.740 --> 00:09:05.960
And I think another thing that will also help you

138
00:09:05.960 --> 00:09:09.940
is that your loved one that passed away

139
00:09:09.940 --> 00:09:14.340
would not want you to just shut down and give up.

140
00:09:14.340 --> 00:09:17.980
Your loved one would want you to go on

141
00:09:17.980 --> 00:09:22.980
and to live a life of hope and health

142
00:09:23.180 --> 00:09:26.580
and healing and to be productive.

143
00:09:26.580 --> 00:09:30.020
Your loved one would not want you to just shut down

144
00:09:30.020 --> 00:09:31.940
and not go on living.

145
00:09:33.580 --> 00:09:38.580
Because their memory lives on inside of you.

146
00:09:38.620 --> 00:09:42.740
And so when you go on and you are productive,

147
00:09:42.740 --> 00:09:46.300
they live on through you in their memory.

148
00:09:46.300 --> 00:09:48.440
Not spiritually, but in memory.

149
00:09:49.580 --> 00:09:51.260
How they lived and what they did

150
00:09:51.260 --> 00:09:53.880
and how they impacted others.

151
00:09:53.880 --> 00:09:58.880
That lives on in how you live and in what you do.

152
00:09:59.020 --> 00:10:00.260
The Holy Spirit is.

153
00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:08.720
your comforter. He wants to comfort you. He wants to help carry the burden. The

154
00:10:08.720 --> 00:10:13.320
definition for paraclete is one who comes alongside to help and that's

155
00:10:13.320 --> 00:10:19.200
actually the what the comforter the definition for the Holy Spirit is that

156
00:10:19.200 --> 00:10:25.720
word paraclete and I I like to liken it to someone who comes alongside and

157
00:10:25.720 --> 00:10:33.400
carries the weight or carries the burden of the hurt for you that's what Jesus

158
00:10:33.400 --> 00:10:41.320
does for you and you know when you when you grieve in a healthy way it really is

159
00:10:41.320 --> 00:10:49.360
a testimony of the reality of Jesus in your life you know when when you're

160
00:10:49.360 --> 00:10:55.520
hurting really really badly and and your faith in Christ is evident to others

161
00:10:55.520 --> 00:11:00.560
that's how Jesus is honored and glorified and and I want to encourage

162
00:11:00.560 --> 00:11:09.040
you today though you're brokenhearted he is your comfort he will carry the hurt

163
00:11:09.040 --> 00:11:14.640
with you yes there's going to be moments where it's hurtful and it's painful but

164
00:11:14.640 --> 00:11:20.440
like I said earlier it does get easier if you will meditate on the Word of God

165
00:11:20.680 --> 00:11:28.640
and on the reality of heaven you can go on and live a happy productive life that

166
00:11:28.640 --> 00:11:35.720
will truly honor and glorify the person that you lost and that you love the most

167
00:11:35.720 --> 00:11:41.320
thank you for listening thank you for liking and subscribing to this channel

168
00:11:41.320 --> 00:11:48.920
it helps me grow the channel and I look forward to talking to you again I am

169
00:11:48.920 --> 00:11:56.480
going to make a broadcast about suicide and at that point I hope you will listen

170
00:11:56.480 --> 00:12:02.640
as I talk about a very difficult topic thank you for listening and have a great

171
00:12:02.640 --> 00:12:04.840
day
