Let me share the screen.
I'm so excited to share this with all of you.
Today I want to share with you,
I'm so excited to share this with all of you.
Today I want to talk about something that will make a difference in moving you forward.
That is emotional habits.
We have lots and lots of habits.
We have lots and lots of emotional habits.
I want to talk about that first.
Father God, I thank you for this time and this morning.
I thank you for these beautiful women.
Father, I just ask that you completely just flood them with your presence,
with your goodness, with your wisdom,
with your love and your love for them.
I pray that the words of my mouth,
the meditation of my heart will be pleasing in your sight.
I give you all glory and honor.
In Jesus name, amen.
We have habits.
Our life is run by habits.
You will sleep on the same side of the bed.
You will brush your teeth the same way.
You will tie your shoes the same way.
We have all of these habits.
You may not have thought about,
we have emotional habits.
This is also sometimes known as an emotional set point.
It's kind of your go-to emotion.
It's where you spend time.
It's kind of like where you'll fall to.
We have some emotional habits that can sabotage,
that can keep us stuck.
That can keep us really from accomplishing
what it is that we desire to.
These are from actual coaching calls.
They come up so often.
I pulled them.
It's probably going to take two times.
We will get started with part one.
I will send you all this worksheet.
You will all have it.
The idea is that our emotions,
our feelings,
they are natural.
They are supposed to be very flowy.
I have a fourth-grade teacher
that teaches her kids this.
She taught them how to feel.
The feeling comes in the front door.
You open the back door.
It flows through and goes out the back door.
That is how it is meant to be.
We feel something.
It passes through us.
We acknowledge it and release it.
When we are stuck inside,
it causes lots of havoc.
It keeps you from moving forward.
Let's talk about some of the habits
that can hold us back.
The first one is
when you get stuck
in your story,
in your narrative.
You are telling stories all day long
about everything.
About yourself,
your work,
the food.
You are telling stories all the time.
We have a narrative about everything.
It is not necessarily true.
We think something does not make it correct.
I notice she is always looking at me like that.
I bet it is because she is jealous.
She does not have a husband like mine.
In that woman's head,
she could be thinking about her laundry.
We get the story.
That story,
if it is a story that makes you happy
and motivates you,
Most of the time is causing some level of angst and stress and confusion and all kinds of things.
So your notes here say our mind is continuously translating our experience and creating a narrative or a story.
So a story can be this is such a blessing.
Life is such a blessing. God's working everything together for my good.
I just love this.
Or it can be this just sucks or she did that to me or I'll never or I lack or whatever it is that your story.
And the challenge comes when you not only start to believe your story.
That's the first part of the challenge. You actually start to believe it.
You know what I lack. I'm always going to lack. I come from a family that lacks.
We are the lack family.
Okay, so you just start to really believe it. You speak it. You think it right.
And, but now, where it really changes your life is where you start to live in your story.
And so everything is based on that and you literally start living it.
The best way to think about this is an actor, you know, when an actor gets into their character.
You know, they study, you know, I used to teach you know interpretive speeches right and I mean, they study their character they just know their character what their character eats for breakfast and they learn to walk like their character and they
have the voice of their character and they, you know, they, they know how their character things and, you know, all of that right. The challenge is that if that actor gets so into character.
He forgets he's the actor. So now everywhere he goes, his whole life is as that character he becomes that character. And believe it or not, we do that.
And worse yet, if you think about a producer who's writing the scripts and forgets that he's writing the script, and he starts living the script.
This is what we can do. We forget that we're creating this we're writing this.
And so we start living it.
So, what can you do.
Awareness is the first step to transformation and this is probably the most important thing to do of all of personal development, this is the thing that will make the biggest needle.
This is when you know that you're growing in consciousness you're growing in awareness, you know I say it all the time, awareness is the first step to transformation.
How do you get out of your story and take your power back and stop giving your life to your story.
You practice becoming the observer, this is probably the most important practice.
So, it's one of the most important steps and freeing yourself from emotional habits, it creates enough space to step out of your thought or narrative, and simply observe it.
And this is the first step of transformation you see as humans what distinguishes us from all the rest of nature all the animals, is that we have meta cognition meta cognition means we can think about our thinking.
We can think about our thinking you know what the beautiful thing about when you can think about your thinking, you can realize wow I'm not my thoughts.
You can realize, just because I think something doesn't make it true.
So here's an example. Let's say that the story is.
I'm always left out. Once again, I'm left out.
Once again you start seeing it everywhere people don't like me.
Here I am again, abandoned, you know, that would be an example of a story.
who always thinks that she's behind. She's just always behind. And so she speaks that and so every time you know someone advances every time someone's doing good.
See, they're just advancing forward I'm too late. It's too late for my business it's too late for me. You see this is a story that just penetrates our life I'm too late.
And so, when you have that story when you can become aware what am I thinking, oh I'm thinking again that I, I just can never do anything right, you know, it's another story.
Right. You put some space around that thought.
And here's a fun one you can use for yourself and for your others.
This is this is just a fun one. Huh.
How fascination and just say, huh.
Interesting point of view that I have that point of view. Huh.
Just be fascinated.
How interesting that I have that perspective.
Just doing that gives you some space to get you unstuck from your story.
Now, here is what you do not want to do.
You do not want to resist.
This is where most people go wrong.
OK, is they fight their story.
They fight it.
Whatever's coming up for them.
You know what? I'm just going to be strong.
I'm just going to resist.
I'm just going to go to war against this.
And nothing that we go to war with.
Is solved or disappears.
It's the opposite.
What we focus on expands, the more attention you give it.
Energy flows to where your attention goes.
So the more that you war with it, the bigger it actually gets.
Consider our war against drugs.
How successful have we been on that over the last decade?
The war against cancer.
How successful we've been on cancer after vaccines is up a thousand percent.
You know, how how successful are we on the war?
No, nothing that you can look at.
Does it just disappear or go away?
So instead of warring with it, which usually just causes stress,
dis-ease, simply acknowledge it
and allow it to be.
Remember, have that visual.
I let it come in.
I feel it. I acknowledge it.
You know what?
I'm feeling really lonely right now, feeling really left out.
You acknowledge your feeling and then you release it.
You don't hold on to it.
And so that you don't get stuck in the story.
Ask questions.
My favorite.
You can look up Byron Katie, the work.
My favorite questions.
I use it in coaching all the time.
Byron Katie, the work.
Four questions.
Is that true?
Is that really true?
Do I really suck?
Is that really true?
Can I am I really that far behind now?
Your mind wants to say, yeah, yeah.
You know, your ego mind wants to say, yeah, yeah.
So then say, can I absolutely know that's true?
Can I absolutely?
And ninety nine point nine, when I do this with a coaching client,
the answer is no, because these second Corinthians
tells us are cleverly devised tales that we come up with ourselves.
No, it's a story.
It's a narrative, OK?
She doesn't hate me.
I'm not the only one.
I'm not, you know, a complete loser, whatever it is.
And so just by asking yourself, you know, is it true?
Can I absolutely know?
And if you really want to go with her questions, you know,
what what happens when I hold on to this thought?
What happens? What's the fruit?
Every thought has a fruit.
Well, when I hold on to this, it's usually very low frequency.
I get depressed. I get frustrated.
I give up. I I get stuck in procrastination.
It's usually very low frequency result when you're in a narrative.
And the next question is, what would happen
if I was willing to release this thought, if I let it go out the back door?
And the answer is always very high frequency thoughts.
Wow. I would be so excited.
I'd be thrilled. I'd be motivated.
I get stuff done right.
It's very high frequency.
And so then you use your God given power of choice.
Remember, the thing you always have is God given power to choose.
You can choose your thoughts.
You can choose your words.
You can choose your actions.
You can choose to your attitudes.
You can choose your word.
All of these things you have God given power to choose.
And so if you know it's producing low frequency, you can choose to release that.
And you go, you know what? That's a story.
I choose to release it.
OK, we're going to go through more and more of these.
We've got living in your past.
We'll talk about striving is a huge one.
We're going to talk about all of these things,
but I want to allow enough time for community time.
So we're going to work on this worksheet over over a little bit of time here.
But you can start thinking about it and working on the worksheet.
And the first step is awareness.
You know, what is your emotional habit and what do you find that you're repeating often
that you're believing and, uh, and just that space of awareness of going, you know what?
Think about my thinking and I'm not my thoughts.
And I have the God given ability to let go of my thoughts.
Yeah.
And so, um, this is, um, this is really powerful as you change your emotional habits.
I was doing a coaching session this last week and, um, this woman has spent her entire life
striving and I could so relate striving, striving, striving.
That's one of the emotional habits that you see on there that I can't wait to get to and
talk about and help you to release that.
But what I can tell you is that striving gets, you know, where, except a lot of stress and
dis ease.
And so, um, a different thought pattern, a different emotional story is, you know what?
Everything is always working together for my good.
What's the good here that I'm not seeing.
If everything's always already provided, if everything is already in me, if Christ
is in me, if I have the mind of Christ, if I have the power of God, if I have the power
of life and death in my tongue, right.
And um, I don't have to strive.
One of the biggest themes in scripture is resting, resting.
And when you begin to release that striving and you begin to absolutely treasure and live
in each moment, I can't wait to go deeper with this with you all.
Um, but it's just absolutely powerful that we can let go of these habits and create new
ones.
And I can tell you as someone who's been doing the work for a while, it's so beautiful.
I no longer strive.
I can tell you it's just not part of my life anymore.
You can do this.
You can let go of the stuff.
I no longer have the emotional habit of striving.
I have the habit of showing up fully, but it's not striving.
You know, you look at where am I coming from?
That's really the question.
Where am I coming from?
Am I coming from a place of believing in the illusion of lack?
And so I got a hustle.
I got to strive.
Am I coming from that or am I coming from a place of overflow?
You know what?
My God's been so good to me.
All my needs are met.
I can trust.
I can trust my God.
I can trust that everything is working together from what, from my good.
I can trust.
And because I can trust, I can now come from a place of abundance that I'm here to serve.
And how can I add value?
How can I add more value today?
That's always the question.
Money is simply an exchange of value.
And so every single day asking, how can I add value right here, right now?
Not in the future, not in the by and by, but right here, right now, what can I take?
What's in my hand that God has given me?
I've written one page of my book.
How can I turn that into a free gift?
I've made a checklist that I follow.
How can, can I just put some inspiration out in my social media?
Can I add value?
Who can I encourage today?
Can I pour love into the people around me?
I want you to understand it's on your worksheet.
You are never going for the thing.
It's not the thing.
Even though I applaud you guys, you've got your new car, you get your house.
These are wonderful.
They're a blessing.
We live in a material world.
It's wonderful.
God wants you to be blessed.
He put Adam and Eve in the garden of delight.
God has promised to give us the desires of our heart.
So he's not a stingy God that's trying to pull things, but it's not the thing that you're
going after.
It's never the thing.
It's the feeling.
It's the state.
It's the feeling that you feel loved, that you feel secure, that you feel confident,
that you feel alive, that you, whatever it is, you're always, always, always not going
for a thing.
You're going for a feeling.
Now, I want to teach you, I'm going to end this call with just a super gem.
You are a human generator.
You can you can shortcut it and go straight for the feeling.
Try it right now.
I want you to just close your eyes.
And I want you to just tap into your heart for a moment.
And I want you just to get in the feeling tonality of love.
Think about the things, the people that you love.
Renee's getting ready to have a grand baby.
Think about the love that you're so excited to pour out.
The love you have.
Think about someone, something that you just love and feel
that feeling.
And now I want you to take that feeling that you're feeling
right now.
That feeling of love.
Just feel it.
Feel it in your heart.
And I want you to expand it.
I want you to expand it, expand it 10%, 20%.
Just feel that love.
Just 20% more.
And now I want you to take that love that you're feeling,
expand it even more.
Just feel that love.
Feel that love.
And I want you to radiate it out.
I want you to fill your room with that love.
Just send that love out.
Send it out.
And anyone that happens to be in your home right now or a
pet or a person.
And I want you to just radiate love right now.
Just love them.
I want you to just send so much love.
Send love to that pet.
Send love to those plants right now.
Radiate it out.
Fill your home with love.
Send love to the person.
Send love.
Just fill up your home with love.
Just feel your home.
Give it a color.
Just feel like a fog of love.
Just blanketing everyone and everything in your home.
And now I want you to just feel that love and send it out.
Send it out.
Radiate it out to your neighborhood.
Just send it out.
Radiate love to your neighbors on your right, on your left, across
the street right now.
Just send love to them.
Just take God's love that's been poured in your heart.
Radiate it out.
Just send it out.
Send it out.
And I want you to just blanket that love and fill your community.
Send that love all the way out to your community right now.
Just feel God's love.
Just blanketing, blanketing that.
Just send it to all those who are feeling lost and in despair right
now.
Just send your love.
Pour it out.
Feel the love.
And now bring that love and just feel it in your heart.
Just feel it multiplying and send that love throughout your body.
Send that healing love to just cover all the parts of your love.
Just feel it like a warm bath.
Feel it right now.
Feel your heart so full of that love.
And now.
As you come back.
Come back now to where you are.
And we're going to go into community time and talk about that right
now.
Let me figure out how to stop the recording.
Where did it go?
There it is.