Hey hey hey family, hope you're doing good. I'm looking forward to this session
Kingdom Building Community Part 3 on Courageous Communication. We're also going
to do a quick recap on Part 1 and Part 2. Great to have you here joining the live
whether you are live or whether you're joining delayed. It is an honor, it is a
delight to have you on board. Sandy I can see you there. Welcome, welcome, welcome. I
hope you've had an amazing weekend. Beautiful. So you can see some of the
recap stuff here. This was Part 1, right here. Part 1, boom. This was Part 2, boom
right there. So we are exploring this whole concept of Building Kingdom
Community. Let's just do a high-five if you're out there whether you're watching
live or delayed. It is great to be with you. Joe I see you there. Robert I see
you there. Sandy, great to have you there. Just give a thumbs up, a fist bump, boom
if you're out there. It is great to be together today. Just a short but punchy
session which I think you are going to love and it's going to be a great time.
Man, are you guys hot where you are? What's the temperature where you, wherever
you are in the world? For me, 28 degrees I just saw in the car. So that's getting
pretty, pretty cranking hot. Angela, great to see you there too. Well what's it like
wherever you are in the world? And once again, massive love to you all. What have
you been doing for the weekend as well? Why don't you just shout out in the
comments what's been happening for you for the weekend, what's been good, what's
been going well for you. I'm excited for this session and I'm excited as well for
the 8th. December the 8th is coming up next week. I want to do a recap with you
on how you've been going with your goals. So what is the goal that you've
been working on for December the 8th? What have you been working on? What have
you been prioritizing? I am excited to hear what people have been doing towards
their goal for December the 8th. We're going to do a bit of a review on that. So
excited for that. Love you guys heaps and let's have a little pray. Just a quick
one and then boom. We're going to do a recap on these moments and then today
it's courageous communication. I am excited for what this means. Bex, great to
have you. Angela, great to have you. And for everyone else, whether you're joining
live or delayed, as always it is a delight to share this journey with you.
Why don't you pray with me? If you feel like the Lord gives you a word for
the family or just a word in general, feel free to type that in. Share that
with us all. It is amazing to hear what God is doing in your lives, through your
lives and let's get into it. Very cool. Thank you for sharing
that. Sandy as well, great testimonies. I appreciate those testimonies. Let's pray.
Trinity, Papa, Holy Spirit, Jesus, you have got relationships down. You have figured
out how to have perfect relationships. You have got divine family sorted on
every angle. And Trinity, we invite you right now into this moment and we invite
you into our personal worlds. We invite you into our lives. We invite you into
our relationships to bring alignment where we need alignment. And Trinity, I
ask as well for a fresh, a completely fresh wave of surrender to hit our
hearts where you are the supreme value, where you are the supreme priority, where
our lives are in alignment with Matthew 6 which says,
Seek first the kingdom of God. We just ask you to bring alignment into our worlds
right now. We just position our hearts right now to be those that would
be in alignment with your priorities, Jesus, as you have said to us. Seek first the
kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you.
Trinity, we ask right now that you breathe revelation to us, that you take these words
that I pray.
I ask that you initiate divine conversations.
I ask that you release a spirit of wisdom and revelation.
I ask that you release powerful people in this time, in Jesus' name.
Holy Spirit, I just ask for a fresh wave of your presence.
I ask for a fresh wave, a fresh wave of your presence, a fresh wave of your glory.
I ask that that would wash over us, wash through us.
We give our attention to you right now.
We give our whole being to you right now.
We surrender afresh to you right now.
Like Jesus said, we pray not our will be done, but your will be done.
Not our will, but your will be done.
Come afresh on us, and I just ask that your will would be done in every single relationship
that we have.
I ask that alignment would come to every single relationship that we have, and that heaven
would be manifest in every relationship that we have.
Because right now, I do sense that we're actually in, we're in the slipstream of heaven.
We're in the sweet spot of heaven.
We're in this place where we're getting on board with what heaven is doing.
The greatest way to get momentum in our spiritual lives and in our lives in general is not just
to pray that God would back what we're doing, but to find out what heaven's doing and back
what heaven's doing.
And that way, we effortlessly get the momentum of heaven on what we're doing.
We don't want to just ask God, bless what we're doing.
We want to find out what heaven's heartbeat is, and I just sense this really strongly
right now, that this is heaven's heartbeat, that this generation, and I'm prophesying
this over us right now, I'm prophesying two things.
I'm prophesying that this is heaven's heartbeat right now, that this generation would be a
generation that manifests heaven, manifests divine family in all of its relationships.
And I'm prophesying that, so I'm prophesying that that's the heart of the Trinity, that
the Trinity is really emphasizing that, empowering that, releasing that, endorsing that, unleashing
that on us, that the heartbeat of heaven is divine relationships, divine family.
So I'm prophesying that's happening, and I'm prophesying as well that we're getting on
board with it, and as we're getting on board with that, we're going to receive the momentum
of heaven because we've engaged ourselves, we've aligned ourselves with the heartbeat
of heaven.
So I prophesy for us in Jesus' name that we are aligning with the heartbeat of heaven,
and I prophesy over your relationships that you'll receive the momentum of heaven over
your relationships as you're aligning with the heart of heaven for your relationships
in Jesus' name.
I just declare over your relationships right now, over the good, the bad, and the ugly,
over our relationships, over mine, over yours, over all of ours, I prophesy over our relationships
right now in Jesus' name.
I prophesy a divine alignment, and I prophesy breakthrough in Jesus' name.
I prophesy over those relationships, the good, the bad, and the ugly.
I prophesy over those relationships that there's going to be coming breakthroughs, and I prophesy,
I see just a breaking through, I actually see a picture of a chest, and out of this
chest, out of this person's torso, I see all these flowers growing up, beautiful flowers
growing up out of their heart, out of their chest, flowers blossoming and blossoming and
blossoming, and what I hear the Lord saying about that blossoming is that there's a new
level of security coming on us as we're discovering our sonship, there's a new level of security
coming on us, and that new level of security, that new level of intimacy, that new level
of safety is going to become the garden, that sense of security in our identity, knowing
who we are is going to become the garden, and out of that security, boom, boom, boom,
boom, boom, beautiful, beautiful flowers are going to blossom up in our relationships,
beautiful relationships, divine relationships, divine family are going to blossom up out
of that, it's going to manifest heaven on earth, amen, beautiful, well bless you guys,
love you so much, and just give a thumbs up, a thumbs bump if you would love that to be
your reality, I'm believing that's going to be happening for us like never before, it's
great as well to see testimonies coming of people seeing breakthroughs and seeing good
things happening in their relationships, I'm excited about that, I'm so happy about that,
I'm delighted about that, give a thumbs up, give a fist bump, give an amen, a praise him
or whatever you want to do if you're all about that, if you're like yes, I want that, I want
to see divine relationships flow out of your heart, flow out into your world and see your
world filled.
up with divine relationships. Amen. I think there's a lot of people passionate
about that. I definitely feel that's the heart of the trinity for this
generation to pioneer in it. To go where no other generation has gone before. So
put on your pioneer, I guess, I don't know, whatever pioneers we're put on your
pioneer mindset. Put on your pioneer mindset. Let's take new territory in
this whole area of going deep in relationships, of being vulnerable in
relationships, and bringing heaven to earth through our relationships. Okay, so
let's start off with a quick recap. So part one. Part one we looked at what
you're responsible for in a relationship, what I'm responsible for in a
relationship, and what other people are responsible for. So very quickly, we as
individuals are always responsible to keep our honor on. That looks like never
being offended. Jesus, there's nowhere in the divine life, right, there's nowhere
in the life of sonship, there's nowhere in this this realm of the divine life
where offense is ever justifiable. Alright, so if you're offended, if we're
offended, we've stepped outside of, we've stepped outside of our calling. There's
nothing in your calling, there's nothing in your mandate which has called you to
be offended or called me to be offended. We're called, but what we're definitely
called for is honor. So regardless of our relationship, regardless of other
people's behaviors, our calling is honor. Boom. Our calling is forgiveness. And
other people, you know, we give them honor and we give them forgiveness
regardless of their behavior. Whether or not someone is being trustworthy, whether
or not their behavior is respectful or not, our responsibility is
honor and forgiveness. It's other people's responsibility in a relationship
to earn our trust and to earn our respect. So I just want to write a
couple more things up. Say powerful people with me. Say powerful people.
Alright, powerful people. Powerful people. Look at this concept. Powerful people don't
try and control other people. Alright, even when their behavior is
disrespectful, even if they're breaking people's trust, powerful people don't try
to control other people. Now, I've got multiple situations that happen on a
regular basis where I'm like, oh my gosh, I would love to control your behavior
right now because you seem to be out of control. The behavior that they're
demonstrating, it's not respectful. It's disgraceful behavior. It's hurting
other people and it's like, oh my gosh, I don't respect that behavior. I can't trust
that person right now, but I will honor them and I will forgive them because I'm
a powerful person. Here's something about powerful people. Powerful people, get
ready for this. Powerful people control themselves. Alright, this is massive.
Powerful people control themselves, not others. Boom. Having said that, then we
also looked at part two, was healthy boundaries. Even though we don't control
other people, even though we're not offended and we're not in a place of
being offended and bitter, that doesn't mean that we let people walk all
over us. It doesn't mean that we all of a sudden devalue ourselves. It
doesn't mean that at all. It also means that we have healthy boundaries. Boom.
Healthy boundaries. So, we looked at this in part two, healthy boundaries, and we
looked at boundaries protect what we value. Yes. So, if you value being safe and
someone else is being disgraceful, they're being unsafe, they're being
disrespectful, if they're breaking your trust for example, we can keep our honor
on. We will keep our honor on. We will keep in this place of
forgiveness. Oh my gosh, I just realized that an important cable is missing. Here
it is. I've just found it. One moment there guys. I just realized my
battery cable wasn't plugged in, but in about 11 seconds, oh, bump in about 11
seconds it will be.
and that will make life easy.
Perfect.
Okay.
So,
PMO just bubbed that,
bubbed that tripod there a moment.
So what do you do
if you're a powerful person
and other people seem out of control?
What do we control?
Well,
we control ourselves.
And we're not about controlling other people,
but we definitely do control ourselves.
We control our world.
We control our boundaries
with healthy boundaries.
So, healthy boundaries is awesome.
Healthy boundaries protect
what we value.
Healthy boundaries,
they show the way home to other people.
Healthy boundaries and powerful people
reflect the nature of the Father
in the sense that they're not about vanishing people.
The boundaries that healthy, powerful people put in place
are boundaries that are all about bringing people home.
So many of us in this world,
I mean, let's not just blame our enemies,
but so many of us,
let's not just blame people who are persecuting us
or people who are messed up.
We're all in this together.
And relationships across the board,
all over the world,
from governments down to slums,
relationships have been so messy.
So we're in this together,
figuring it out together,
working through it together,
creating a brand new world, if you want.
So we're pioneers of this whole new concept.
We're pioneers of healthy relationships.
We're pioneers of it.
And so many of the people that we're working with,
that we're encountering,
that we're having challenges with,
have never learned about being powerful people.
They've never learned about
any of this kingdom building community stuff.
They've just experienced their whole life,
people trying to manipulate and control them.
Just give me a like, yes, an amen, a thumbs up,
if you have been someone who's tried to manipulate
and control other people.
I just got to say, yes,
there's plenty of times in my life
where I've tried to manipulate.
I've tried to control other people.
I might have felt unsafe.
I might have really wanted something.
I might have felt like this was the best way
to get what I wanted in the situation.
But there's been plenty of times
where I engaged in manipulation and control.
And so for us now,
we're in this process of relearning
what healthy relationships looks like.
Yeah, and I've experienced it myself too.
I've definitely experienced it.
Give a thumbs up if you've experienced
manipulation and control.
You've been in relationships
where people have controlled you.
You've experienced that twisted dynamic of manipulation.
Pretty much all of us have experienced that.
And so when we're working with people,
many people have their normals are really unhealthy.
So we're going to take that into consideration,
take that into account,
and have a lot of grace for each other
because we're on this journey together.
We're in this together
where we're working through our unhealthy normals.
We're rediscovering new healthy normals,
and we're figuring out how to do this,
how to go forward together.
And we've got to have a lot of grace,
especially in the church,
especially with our believers, our friends,
because we want to be deep.
We want to be vulnerable.
And a place of vulnerability
is a place where we experience our biggest, deepest hurt.
So, boom, healthy boundaries.
They protect what we value.
They show the way home.
They also reveal our priorities.
I was saying, I said last week
that I'd do a little evaluation.
Some of you did an evaluation
on your top three relationships.
I've definitely done an evaluation on that.
How am I going with the balance?
Have I got my boundaries in the right places?
If I haven't got my boundaries in the right places,
then my life will be out of balance
really, really quickly.
For example, if I let someone who's not my wife
come into a place where
they're receiving the type of intimacy
that my wife should receive,
if that's where we were at,
boom, that would create massive chaos in your world
real fast.
So, a massive part of success in life,
success in family,
success in our relationships with our spouses,
our romantic relationships,
our husbands, our wives,
success when it comes to relationship with God,
Success with our children, success with building the legacy of family that we want comes from
getting the priorities right, getting the balance right and putting those boundaries
in the correct places, the safe places.
So something that I, you know I just did a recap and I thought okay how am I going?
What's priority number one?
Definitely, definitely, definitely priority number one for me is the trinity, it's the
divine dance, it's having my divine connection in place and sewing into that and so I'm
just asking myself you know how am I going with the balance on that and to be honest
I would love to spend way more time with the trinity.
On a regular weekly basis I spend hours and hours in that place of going after relationship
with the trinity, spend time in worship, spend time in creativity, I just, I love it you
know and I'd like to spend more time there and you know same thing with my wife, I love
hanging out with my wife, I love dreaming with her, I love working with her, I love
just enjoying each other's company, I love talking things through, chatting things through,
I love going on adventures with her, I want to spend way more time with her and my kids
are amazing, I love them too, I want to spend way more time with them too and you know what
life has a lot of time pressure on us and it can be really quite challenging to put
that, put that in place but I was just doing an assessment for myself and I think, yeah
I think I'm doing reasonably well on that, my priorities are definitely the trinity relationship,
divine connection there, then my wife and then my kids, those are definitely my priorities
and so I'm like okay how's the balance going?
I think it's going alright but it's always really important to reassess that and it's
important as well to ask the kids how's that going, you feeling connected, yesterday, just
give some examples of things that I've done this week, well with the trinity I shared
that I've spent hours and hours in just one on one time with the trinity, either creating
things out of their presence, a lot of the time my time with the trinity looks like creating,
being creative, articulating what they're putting in my heart, creating things with
them, just in a one on one space, it's just me and the Lord and we're creating, it looks
like praying in tongues, it looks like worship, it looks like studying the word, it looks
like meditating on things, so boom that's been going great, things that I've done with
my wife this week, a classic thing for us, one moment, a classic thing for us to do is
chatting you know, and just even today, just even before I came through this, we're like
we're regularly, regularly doing chats, doing plans, like okay how are we going with, what
do you need, so something just this afternoon that we chatted through, Alana's like, I need
some more kids free time to be able to accomplish these tasks I've got leading up to Christmas,
so we're just sitting there hearing each other, what do you need, how can we do that, Alana's
set time aside for me, just loving on me, and regularly it's this concept of okay what
are we doing, what do we want to accomplish, chatting it through, so we've got a big dream
that we're working on at the moment of doing some more renovations, well not renovations,
just some upgrades on our house, new carpet, new curtains, we have an Airbnb house as well,
so we're trying to work through that, so we had to do heaps of work on the property this
week, so we chatted through that, lots of pillow talk, it's quite fun, I really love
dreaming and building and creating, I think that's something I really love doing with my wife,
so doing that, boom, it's been fun, really successful week on that front, Ezra, I took
him for a date yesterday, he got to go and spend some of his birthday money, we went out,
we had lunch together, we hung out together, and it was really cool, I regularly like to take my
kids on one-on-one moments with Dad, so we did that yesterday, it was choice, I'm planning this
week on getting some training with him on training him how to ride his bike, sweet, so that's been
going good, I want to talk on this concept, I talked about it a little bit last time in part
two, but I want to talk about courageous communication and I statements, alright,
I statements, boom, there it is, I statements, like an eyeball, there we go, so I statements,
it can be really, really challenging when we're having courageous communication with whoever it's
with, it can be really, really difficult, I find that's one of the times, I get, it's a really
vulnerable place, it's a place where you're like, oh my gosh, okay, this event has happened,
Whatever it is, and you want, and maybe something's happened that's caused disconnection.
To be honest, I actually had an experience of that just this afternoon.
I totally failed at something.
I totally failed, I totally dropped the ball.
It wasn't intentional.
I was like, oh my gosh, I really failed on that, and it caused a real strong reaction
from someone.
I actually felt hurt from that.
I was like, ah, it's someone who's really close to my world.
It was my fault, to be honest.
I stuffed up.
I was like, oh no, I totally by accident just dropped the ball, and then they brought correction.
They kind of did it in a way where I just felt, oh, I felt a bit of hurt from the way
they did it.
It was right of them to bring correction to me.
Here's something that I want to share.
Check this concept out.
It's a really massive concept.
How can we bring correction, because we need to be able to bring correction, and we need
to be able to be corrected sometimes.
I totally needed to be corrected today.
How can we bring correction without damaging other people's strength?
How can we bring correction?
How can we even give other people information about how we feel, truly feel inside without
attacking them?
How can we give them information without attacking them, and in a way that makes them feel safe
too?
Because this is such a delicate process.
If you're talking about your feelings or sharing how you're doing with people, especially if
you're sharing, giving them feedback about how their behavior has impacted you, this
is a place where there's landmines everywhere.
We could just set landmines off all over the place, and you can make a bad situation
worse if someone, say for example, this situation happened, I just dropped the ball by accident,
but they're like, hey, this is really not okay, but the way they did it just felt like
an attack.
I'm like, ugh.
So I engaged in courageous communication.
Once again, I have to use this on a regular basis, but the process of courageous communication,
it protected our connection, and at the end of that process of communication, and connection
and courageous communication, our heart connection was actually stronger than before.
And even just now, just during the live, I saw a text popped up on my phone from that
person, and it's like, boom, the connection's been protected, the relationship's been protected.
So when we value intimacy with other people, we can protect it, we can go after it.
Here's a simple process, I mentioned this last week, but I want to highlight it.
It's I-statements.
So I-statements are really safe ways of giving communication of how you're doing.
Here we go.
So just say there's an example, something's happened, when something's happened that's
caused you some pain, perhaps.
You can say, when this happened.
When it comes to courageous communication, it's so essential to keep everyone feeling
safe.
So think about the environment.
Think about the timing of it.
Think about the method.
Are you going to do this by text, are you going to do this by phone, are you going to
do this by a video call, are you going to meet face-to-face with a person, are you going
to do it in a letter?
Well, I tell you what, especially depending on the situation, face-to-face is best.
Somewhere that's going to feel safe for everyone is best.
So think about setting yourself up for success before you even engage the conversation.
If this is the person in a rush, if they're in a rush to go somewhere, maybe try and find
a better time, a better place to have a conversation where you can work this out in a safe way.
So one of the things that you're doing with I-statements, which is something that powerful
people do, they control themselves, you can give really, really good information.
You can give really, really good information and you're talking about yourself, you're
not talking about them.
So you've got to avoid any form of accusation.
You don't go in and say, you are a terrible person, boom, that's going to get them putting
their walls up.
They're not even going to care really what you say when you bring correction with accusation.
So avoid accusation, just give them information about how you're doing.
So first thing is, when this happened, just identify what it was that went down.
by that moment. Boom! That's good information. They know exactly what event
you're talking about. It's not hypothetical, it's very specific. There's
some precision information. This is going to set them up to be able to succeed in
responding in a way that's going to add value to how you're feeling and actually
giving them even the opportunity to respond well, okay? When this
happened, you're talking exactly what it was, I felt... Boom! It could be, for
example, driving in a car. When you were driving at 184
kilometers an hour in that dodgy little Daihatsu, I felt... Now this is where
you're giving people really, really good information. I felt scared, unsafe, okay?
Giving them great information. And then you could say, okay, we'll just take this
example of a car. If I'm going to drive in a car with you, I need to feel... So this
is the next key bit. I need to feel... Boom! I need to feel... And often it's going to
feel safe, heard, valued. You can fill in a space. When this
happened, when you drove at 184 kilometers an hour in your Daihatsu, I
felt scared and unsafe. You could also say, when I asked you to slow
down and you refused, I felt scared, unsafe, and unheard, alright? Then you're
going to give them more information. I need to feel... I forgot the feel, this is
the key bit. I need to feel... I need to feel safe, heard, and valued. And then some
more real good information. I feel safe, heard, and valued when you... Boom! And then you
get to fill in the dots there. And it might be, I feel safe, heard, and
valued when you drive to the speed limit. So I hope that's been valuable for you.
Four I statements that can really help you in the process of courageous
communication. They are, when this happened, boom! The next one is, I felt... So it
could be, I felt scared, unsafe. So this is statement number one. Statement number
two. Statement number three. Statement number four, okay? When you drive at a
hundred and forty kilometers, 184 kilometers an hour in your Daihatsu, I...
That's statement number one. It's really specific. They know exactly what you're
talking about. It's not hypotheticals, it's not maybes. You've pinpointed the
exact scenario. I felt scared and unsafe. Boom! Number three I statement. I need to
feel safe, heard, and valued. Number four, I... This is giving them really good
information about what makes you feel safe. I feel safe, heard, and valued when
you, and this, in this scenario, drive to the legal speed limit. Now if you're on
the Autobahn, it might be a different story, but I don't think anyone's
probably going to be feeling that safe in a dodgy old Daihatsu.
Maybe a Daihatsu charade. Something that this is about is, powerful people are
really good at giving other people information. Once you've done this, you
put, you make the other person really powerful. Yeah, give a thumbs up if you
like that. Give a thumbs up if, if you think that's going to be of value to you.
If you're going to be able to use those I statements. Give me a little bit of a
thumbs up. Whether you're watching live or delayed, I see all the comments and
all the posts and all the likes. I keep an eye on that. So, give me a thumbs up
if you think, boom, that's going to be valuable for me. I'm going to be able to
use that really well. So, powerful people are not trying to control themselves.
Powerful people are all about empowering others in this process. Powerful people
give other people the information that they need to be able to make really good
decisions. With this, once you've given someone all this information,
They get to decide if they're going to respect it or not, okay?
This is giving other people the opportunity to earn your trust, okay?
You haven't been offended, you've walked in honor, you haven't been bitter, you've
said you've forgiven them for whatever's going on
and you've given them an opportunity to build trust
and intimacy
and it's their choice then what they choose to do
afterwards. You might also incorporate this with healthy boundaries
you might say for example in this particular situation you might say
you might give them this information and say okay you've heard how I
feel now I want to let you know my boundary
my boundary is that I only drive with people, I only ride in the car with
people that I feel safe with so if you can
respect this boundary I'm happy to ride in the car with you
if you can't respect this boundary then I am not going to ride in the car with
you anymore, okay? It's a real good
boundary, it's a very clear boundary, it shows them the way home, it shows
them what you value, you value your life, you
value safety, you value feeling safe, it shows them the way home
it's like it's a really easy option for them they can choose if they're going to
drive dangerously you're not going to be in
the car with them and it also yeah definitely
reveals your priorities for not dying in a car crash is a
priority that I have in my life. Hope that's been really valuable to you
these things start all start working together really really
hand in hand and they might seem really basic
but honestly the basics work well the basics are usually the
basics because they're the absolute the absolutely
foundational things to the structural integrity
of success in life so these things are basic
but they are the structural integrity for success in relationships they
provide the structural integrity for how to have healthy relationships so
love you guys hope you've had some value from this
why don't you uh why don't you share a couple of things um if you're
happy to it'd be great to have some have some thoughts here why don't you
share a testimony of a healthy boundary that you've put in
place why don't you you know it would be great to hear from
people how you're using this practically
have you put a healthy boundary in place somewhere and it would also be great to
road test this why don't you give yourself the opportunity to road test
this this week um is there a conversation is
there a courageous conversation that you need to have
it will be great to hear if you had a courageous conversation recently
if you're going to have one it'll be great to hear the testimonies of our
courageous conversations they are so powerful so
bless you have a great day for the rest of the
day and have a fantastic start to this week may you be blessed
may you be prosperous may shalom fill your whole
your whole life may balance come uh to every area of your life may success
come to every area of your life may you thrive in every area of your life
and remember december the 8th i'm looking forward to doing a review and
hearing how are you going towards your goals
what do you want can't wait to share that conversation with you as well
bless you see you on tuesday afternoon uh for supernatural stories that's going
to be really fun love you catch you later