I see people getting connected! What's up, Xavier? Yay! Hey, Marion! Hi! Hey, Susie! Hey, everybody! Hi, Xavier!
I don't know what I would do without seeing all your faces once a week.
Look, I'm with you, Susie. I do look forward to it too, Susie.
Ditto. It's not the same when you look at it afterwards, is it? I'm with you. I'm with you.
So, getting our thoughts together. So, while people are jumping on, and if you're streaming
on Facebook, you're welcome to jump on the Zoom. The link will be there in the description.
So, as far as I know... Hey, Amy. Hey, Amy. No one's booked a tech help call yet. So,
I just want to remind you, because I know it's a new thing. So, it's unlimited. So, those tech
calls, you can book any time, as many times as you need if you're stuck with tech, needing help
with that. So, just don't forget that you have that access. I do need some help, but I haven't
had the time. How do we actually book it? Is it on the Messenger Advancement site?
Yes. You go on your Messenger Advancement site. I think it's under the Get Started section
on that side. And you can just book a call, and it'll pull up a Calendly link. And so,
you can just pick a time and date that works for you.
I had that same question too, because I want to book a one-on-one with you. And then also,
I have a new microphone. And so, anyway, I need to do that. So, I haven't forgotten.
So, same place to book the one-on-one with me. So, you guys get two one-on-ones with me. Those
are hour long. You can book any time during these four months. And then, the tech calls
where you'll see in your Kingdom Advancement site is this under Get Started. And it's the
same process as far as you just book. It's easy. You just find a date and time that works for you
on Calendly. And if for whatever reason, you're not seeing a time, especially with my one-on-one,
because we're trying to make sure that those calendars are synced. If you're not finding
a time that works for you for your time zone, reach out to us at, what is the help email?
Help at KMW.
Help at KMWSupport.com. I was like, got it messed up in my head. And just say,
hey, I'm having a hard time finding a time. And we'll open up that calendar a little bit more. So,
sound good. I see Ashley has joined us today. And so, Ashley and Xavier are jumping in. And we,
so this is what, week three. So, just a quick recap of what we've all been walking through.
We talked the first week about steeping like a tea bag in our why. So, sometimes that why
evolves over time. Our why behind doing something evolves. Like we think we're doing something for
a certain reason. And a lot of times if we don't go through the layers. So, an example that we
use, and I know Amy specifically said she went seven layers deep of, as you're discovering your
why and you're wanting to get past the surface-y, you know, this is why I'm doing what I'm doing
with my channel, reaching my who, is you kind of answer that question and then you ask why again.
Okay, but why? So, for example, I wanted to start posture because I wanted to help people overcome
anxiety. Why? So, it goes a little bit deeper. Well, because God promised us peace and there's
Christians, there's sons of God who belong to heaven, who are filled with the spirit of Christ,
who are not walking in perfect peace. Why? So, you can kind of see it goes a little bit further
down and it's just a helpful exercise for you to begin to steep in that why. Because that being
grounded in the why of why you're doing something gives you clarity as you partner with heaven in
doing it, but also it stands up against resistance, right? So, inspiration is great. It's great when
you, you know, hear someone speak from stage or you hear me on a coaching call and you walk away
and you just feel so full of, you feel inspired, you feel motivated, but that doesn't always do
well up against resistance. And when times get hard, what you're anchored in is that, okay,
why am I doing this? What is the call? What is the purpose? What am I feeling in my partnership
with the Lord that is, you know, significant here? And it's beyond just me showing up on social media.
We know it's deeper than that. So, why? So, that's what we talked about in the first week.
And then last week we talked about this revelation that I am currently walking in.
So, I'm giving you guys the fruit off my life, literally as it ripens on the tree.
And that was, I feel like the Lord is calling me into a deeper breakthrough from fear of man.
So, what heaven has called me to do and what I desire to partner with the Lord.
I have to fully break free of, I mean, we all do, right?
But I know this for me.
I began steeping in my wine.
I realized I've got to break free of fear.
Man, and there's been layers and levels to this process
with the Lord for years.
But I realized, you know,
cause I was getting some feedback from people.
So some of the feedback I get from people is,
wow, I never knew you were an introvert
because you're on stage and you get up on social media
and you show your face.
Like I would have never guessed you're an introvert.
And I didn't kind of know what to even do
with that feedback.
You're kind of like, oh, thanks, you know.
I love being an introvert, by the way.
I don't think it's a disability,
but I do think like, just like being an extrovert,
there's perversions to those,
that wiring if it's not fully submitted to God
and we're not walking in the fullness,
an awareness of the fullness of who it is
that we are in Him.
And so, but even with that fear or anxiety
and the ways it was manifesting,
I realized I could still show up and do things.
Why is that?
I think I have a high pain threshold, quite honestly.
And I was operating out of fear.
So it was all of this operation out of I can't,
I can't let God down.
I can't let my spiritual leaders down
who have given me these opportunities
to speak on their stage or share their stage.
I can't fail.
Like, not like, oh, I can't fail in the Lord,
but like, I can't fail.
It would destroy me, right?
And so that is how I was operating out of,
you can operate out of fear for a while.
We think that, and you know, I'm still marinating on this,
but you guys are kind of the inner circle crowd.
So I know that there's maturity in this room
and I can kind of share things
that haven't been fully, fully fleshed out,
but there's a lot of talk in the world
about doing it scared.
And I understand where that's coming from in a way,
but that will crush you if you keep doing it scared.
Like you can do it scared a couple of times,
but if you continue,
because you're operating out of fear
and you were not made for fear.
And so I feel like the Lord had brought me to a new place
of beginning to do things in faith.
And it was about, I can, okay, I can do this.
I can do, I might not want to always do this,
but I can do all things through Christ
who strengthens me, right?
And I began to operate on that.
And there's nothing wrong with operating out of faith,
but it became really exhausting to me.
So as I was doing this, why exercise with you guys,
my why sounded like this, why am I so tired?
I just went right off the script.
I wanted to have this conversation with the Lord,
but the Lord wanted to have this conversation with me.
And so it was like, Lord, why am I so tired?
Why is this not fun?
Why am I struggling in something that I honestly feel
is of you and something that I actually want?
Like, I want to be pouring in the kingdom messengers.
I want to be showing up on social media
through the Posture Channel
and breaking off fear and anxiety in people's life
and walking them into a lifestyle of perfect peace.
I know I want that.
This isn't about like, I know, but it is,
it's, it feels draining.
And I realized I was like operating in a level
of I was operating in faith, but it was strenuous.
And I feel like the Lord is inviting me
to start walking and operating out of love.
And I loved actually the clarity.
Oh my gosh, who was it?
Was it, oh, it was Susie where she said,
I feel like love, me operating out of love is I know.
I know I'm beloved.
I know I'm loved.
And there's really, there's joy in that.
So, you know, the way that Susie clarified it
for those who haven't seen her video really quick,
she said, I feel like when I'm operating out of fear,
it was all about displeasing.
I don't want to displease the Lord, you know,
et cetera, et cetera.
Out of faith, it was about my motivation was pleasing.
I want to please the Lord.
That's a great motivation.
That's a good desire, wanting to please the Lord.
So there's not, again, there's nothing wrong with faith,
but there is a deeper, there's a better realm.
There's the kingdom realm.
And that is where we are fueled by love.
And it's fuel that actually cast out fear.
I mean, it's love, I'm sorry, that actually cast out fear.
And so that's where I'm kind of starting to level up.
And so anyway, so we were talking about that.
So the homework assignment for this past week was,
hey, just a self-evaluation.
Where do you feel like you are?
And I noticed that from much of your feedback,
you guys have realized the same thing that I'm realizing
is that in different areas,
I might be operating out of different places, right?
So in this area, I feel like I'm fully operating
out of a place of love, but in this area of my life,
so for me, relationships,
I feel like I'm still operating out of fear.
And so that is a joyful highlight for me
that there's about to be an upgrade in that area.
So what does that have to do with channels
and ministry and all that stuff?
Well, if we continue to be, you know, I noticed
I'm not just in my own life, but when it comes to ministers of the gospel, sons of God walking
the earth, if we're not aware of our operating system and the invitation of the highest level
of operating system that we have, we can run ourselves into the ground. So if we're operating
out of fear, it looks great externally. Oh man, you're doing all these amazing things. You're
traveling to this country and you're doing that and you're building this ministry. But you guys
all probably have a name in your head of someone you deeply admired, who was doing all the things
for the kingdom and burnt out personally. And I think that is because there's not a full
awareness of just how deeply loved they actually are, because what the fuel is,
is not your love for you or your love for others or others love for you. It's God's love for you.
It's walking in that delight daily. So today I wanted to get a couple of shares because
at this level, I realized I don't want to do all the talking. I don't always want to do all the
talking anyway, but I just want to invite some feedback. So if you guys can like unmute yourselves
and just talk about this past week and where you've been as you've kind of just kind of made
a self-diagnosis of, hey, I think I'm here. The second question, which is what I really wanted
to hear from you guys. This is what I want to hear, because I already heard you've shared what
it is that you want. That was the question. Now, what do you want? Because we're talking about the
commingling of desires as sons of God. Like we don't have to deny just because we want something
that it's not of God. We are one with Christ. There's a commingling of desires and this is fully,
this is expressed in every areas of our lives, including our ministry and the output, right?
We're talking about taking external territory, but more importantly, we have to take internal
territory. And I'm just curious, was it hard for any of you to answer that question? This is what
I want. When it taught, when I think about my ministry, when I think about serving my who,
this is what I want. Was that an easy question for you guys to answer? Was it difficult? Like,
what did that look like? Anyone jump in? For me, it was hard because I don't have a clarity on what
it is I do want. I want to disciple people. I know I'm called to do that, but how and where,
that's another question. And I don't feel I'm quite entering that door yet.
You know, so for me, it was hard to figure out what is it exactly I want because God's led me
through different things. And what is this season about? I'm doing this because he led me into it.
But when I think of where it's going and what could happen with it, I don't have any joy in that.
So for me, if there's no joy in it, then I need to wait till God drops something in me. And he
said, it's going to happen. All of a sudden, I'll know what I'm meant to do and I'll just step into
it. And so that's what I'm waiting for. So are you waiting? Do you feel like you're waiting in
a place of like full love? Or do you feel like any tension because you don't know yet?
No, not at all. I did when I was making the video, because I was trying to get something.
And then I thought, I just don't feel that I'm connected. I could do all sorts of things
and step into it. But I don't feel I'm meant to be there right now.
Maybe at church. I'd like to do a disciple group there. That's where we've been heading for a few
years, but I still don't feel it's the timing is right. That's clarity. I guess it is really,
isn't it? Because I haven't really thought about it before.
There's deep clarity when we come to a place of full reliance on God.
Because that's what actually builds resilience in us. It feels very discombobulating, especially
for those of us that are used to, this is what ministry looks like. We have a picture in our
head because of what we've been a part of in the past. But I don't want you guys to forget
that this is a group of pioneers. And so what we're doing might not be what's been done before.
And that's a point of clarity. It doesn't mean if it has been done before, it's wrong. It's just that
for some of us, we might not have a full picture because we don't have a model. And Miriam,
I'm speaking specifically to you because you said the Lord told you you're a prototype.
Yes. Yeah. And he's told me that for years. Only when he elaborated on it and said,
only when he elaborated on it and said, it's because I'm a prototype of what he can do in
somebody. I thought, oh, I'm a prototype. I'm a picture of what everybody should be.
be like. But that's not really it. You know, it's more I'm a
picture of what God can do in somebody by his spirit. And I
just want to say something about the fear too, Lindsay, because
I've gone through a battle for six weeks, and I'm coming out of
it. And it had to do with being attacked by fear in the middle
of the night, in the day, for no reason. But he's taken me
through it. And I've learned so much over the years of how to
deal with fear. But this time, it wasn't working. And what he
told me, stop striving and let me do it. So as soon as I'm
afraid, I have to say, Okay, this is the fear. Now you do it.
And he gives me songs. He is like, I have to let him lead me
I can't go by how it happened before, because I'm in a new
place. And he has to be the one that that comes in and leads me
out of that. And I'm finding I I'm not I wouldn't say I'm
absolutely fear of free, but but I'm just about free
altogether. And mostly it's just a little anxiety now. Yeah.
That's amazing. Praise God for that revelation. That's so
confirming to me because I feel like and I had to attack it last
night, which is odd. I haven't had that in a long time. And I
think some of its physical related, but but I feel like the
Lord is inviting me. So it's very confirming that you shared
this to stop talking myself out of fear. Because I tend to go
there even with scripture, like, okay, I'm just gonna like, use
this to try to talk myself out of the fear. And the Lord's
like, let me talk you into love. And that was a that was a flip
for me because it was a it was to your point, it was him doing
it. Not me. It wasn't talking myself into love. He said, let
me talk you into love. So Susie, I see you waving your
hand.
So interestingly, yesterday was my birthday. And on Friday, we
went out and celebrated and I fast on Monday. So I just said,
Okay, fast on my birthday. Well, there's some part of my body
that said, this is not celebrating. Are you kidding?
And, um, and I just, ah, just was off all day and not just
because I hadn't eaten. And, um, and you know, like you're
saying, so what's going on my, you know, and all of that. And
this morning, I kind of woke up with the Lord saying, so did you
like your birthday present? And I was what is like, I knew, but
I didn't do it when I want a better thought. I can ask for
it. When I want to feel different. I can ask for it. I
don't just sit in it and say, Yeah, I don't like this. I can
ask for it. And so that that is that that big, big thing for me.
The other thing I'm realizing is that what I really, really want
is to not have answers to I want to, I want to show up and I put
that in my I want to show up and that's enough. And I have a
memory as a child of doing some sort of like, you know, brownie
fly up thing when I was eight, and I was not prepared. I had
this idea was kind of do this, not prepared, totally flopped,
embarrassed, you know, you have to be prepared if you're going
to do something. And to show up, apparently not prepared, is
something I'm shifting with. And, but when I have
conversations with people, I'm getting really good at being
all right with that. But being on social media, how I show up
just being myself, you know, what does that look like? So I
guess that what I want want is to know how that how that all
works. And I think and addressing Marianne, I'm really
getting it that and I probably said this, to be comfortable
with not knowing to realize how much does it talk about mystery?
And, and, and do we know do we know in our knower? So we do
know, it's just that our mind doesn't know. And to get
comfortable with in what you're saying, Marianne, if it's okay,
you know, you, you do have it, your mind just doesn't know that
you have it. And we're going to learn how to be okay with that.
Thanks for sharing, Susie, and happy related birthday. Hey,
Tamara, are you raising? Oh, Amy, that was Amy's hand. Sorry,
you just your picture switched.
Okay, um, this is just following the line of thinking
because, um,
I guess, you know, like, in, in the week I came into this like, I am more myself, then I feel like I've ever been in my life, you know, I mean just like stepping into that and stepped into it in a new way and it's like being unfamiliar with something
that is so familiar, you know, the newness of that. And I, as I was like reading comments and watching.
You posted today Marian and Tamara, and just, you know, reading through that and and reading comments Kathy, your, your comments on on Susie and Marian, but particularly when Marian and Marian I don't know if you read my comments, but like, I was just like
just exploding all over me through, through your words.
And, and what I saw was, because, like, Susie talked about relaxing and Marian talked about you know being familiar with that. I feel like the Lord has told me, relax.
And I thought, when we're relaxing into ourselves, like we, we find our home, you know, it's like me being fully me being totally one with him, and who he created to me to be.
And I just had this like I mean it was a word for you Marian about like where you are right now. And, you know, as Lindsay said in that dependence on him, not knowing maybe what the next step is but just being at home and relaxing into that.
And I identified in probably nearly everybody else does like maybe getting your face ready before you record or going through it several times until you just kind of like fully relaxing to who you are.
And you're representing yourself and you're representing him. And it was this morning the Lord took me to Hebrews four about the word because I was just like I just could see like your heart and his just like being like this, you know, just one.
And you're coming up out of your being that the you being completely you was his words, your words and their his words because you are doing you all are doing this together.
And then back up above that, it's talking about in Hebrews, it's talking about it goes from his rest to his word. And before that it says today.
If you hear my voice.
And there's like, I mean that that place of of oneness.
And that relaxing into us. I mean I just think it's a work, a defining work that he's doing, and all of us as a group right now.
I like that word relax it because it gave me and it gave me another posture another visual of a posture. I'm just like leaning in.
I'm glad that resonate thank you for sharing to the reference I was trying to find the reference you said Hebrews for Amy Hebrews for, I think it's for 12, or I think it is for 12, which is, you know, the Word of God is active and alive.
It's like when we're our hearts are, and we're hearing from him. I mean, that's where he's leading us into rest, because that's just just precedes, you know, for the Word of God is alive, active and alive, sharper than a two edged sword, that it's
like coming into that rest and that relaxing into.
If we go back to what we, we talked about at the end of the intensive that, like we were fully us in the spirit.
We're already completely at home with him, and who we were.
He's leading us back to ourselves, which is, I mean like the word that God gave me for Marian was like, where you are.
You and God together in your heart, your mind together in oneness is leading people to the same place that he's brought you.
Sweet.
Thank you, Amy.
Hey Monica.
How are you.
As you're back to and healed healed whole and well.
Thank you, Lord.
Yes.
That's great.
It is.
And I just wanted to share super quickly how literally in a week's time, almost a week,
Thursday, he took me through each one of these steps of fear, faith, and love.
And so, and I'll be super, super brief with it, the Cliff Notes version of my whole journey
this week.
So basically on Thursday afternoon, I had taken a shower and I was getting ready to
put my other leg in with my clothes, and all of a sudden my back just locked up in like
a halfway position.
And I ended up having to hold on to the sink because I couldn't stand up and I couldn't
sit down.
And I was kind of on my tippy toes, but I was in the bathroom by myself, of course,
and the door was closed and the other door was closed to the bedroom and everybody was
downstairs.
So nobody could hear me.
I started, I was screaming.
I was trying to see what I could grab, but I could barely move.
So it ended up being close to half an hour that I was hanging there.
And by the time my son found me, I had, I was hyperventilating.
I couldn't speak.
So nobody, when Jared got there, he didn't know what was happening to me because I could
barely, he's like, do I need to call 911?
And all I could do was kind of nod and just like, I was just done.
And so that was a fearful, that was a time of a lot of fear.
And it wasn't just a fear of what's happening right now in my body.
It was, Lord, what have I done up to right now?
Let's say this was the end.
What are the things that, that I am evaluating in my life that I have done to get closer
to you?
Like, have I achieved what you wanted me to achieve here in this space and time?
And that, that was kind of running through my mind.
And so there was this fear of lack of like, oh my gosh, kind of what you spoke over me,
Lindsay, like, okay, you need to just settle down and know that you don't have to do, do,
do.
And so I was coming up and then, so that all passed, turns out I had a tear in my muscle
in my back.
And so it was very difficult to move, to breathe, to do all of the things, to sleep.
But I knew that on Saturday at church, we have once a month, a Holy Spirit bootcamp
where we pray in tongues for like four hours straight.
And the community comes together and does, does it as a community, as a corporate body.
And the Lord just kept telling me, you need to get there.
You need to get there.
And so I got out of bed with my PJs, no makeup, my hair was all curly, which I'm not used
to.
And it was like in a half a bun, all scrunched up.
And I went in my slippers and I managed to get down the stairs.
And I told Jared, my husband, I said, any chance you'd like to take me to the Holy Ghost
Bootcamp?
And he was like, are you serious?
He was just, I convinced him though.
And he took me.
I could barely get out of the car by the time I got there, I needed two people to get me
out.
But here's the story that went into faith.
I got to the first row, the back row of seats in the church.
And I just stood there and I said, Lord, I'm here.
I made it.
I'm here.
And he told me to come and I came and I came to see you.
And so the moment that I stood there, all of a sudden, I just saw myself surrounded
by people just praying over me.
They could see by the state of how I looked.
And I was crying just in pain from standing.
And our pastor's wife came over to me and she gave me a hug that I will never, not even
my mother has given me a hug like this.
It was a hug that just, I was able to be like engulfed in it.
And I was just crying into her shoulder.
And I literally felt like it was Jesus saying, you came, you came, just watch what I'm about
to do.
And so after that, she grabbed my hand and she said, we're going to walk.
And so little by little, I was taking these little mini steps and she was just right by
my side, holding my hand.
And she's praying in the spirit, praying in the spirit, going.
And I'm like, and I'm crying the whole time because it was very painful.
And so we start going around in circles and in circles.
And by circle number four, I'm starting to get a little faster.
And by circle number seven, it's just going faster.
And by 10, I'm like speedwalking.
all of a sudden. And I'm just, and she said, there is a fight going on in you and the enemy
is trying to steal what the Lord has for you. She said, fight. So then I burst into tongues
and we're both going at it like hardcore, go, go, go, go, go. Then someone else came
up and I'll try to keep this short. Sorry. But someone else came up to the microphone
and said, the Lord just told me that we should all sing in tongues over Monica.
So I'm still like halfway going around the corner walking and all of a sudden I hear,
I swear it sounded like just a legion of angels just singing all around me like a cloud. And
it was so forceful that I was walking forward. So I'm like here walking forward and it literally
stopped me in my tracks. And I had to start walking backwards because it was just like
overpowering me in that moment. And I'm so happy I could stand up and do that right now.
And by the end of that, I was on the floor on my face because it was just so powerful.
But let me tell you what happened. There was a young lady, she's a campus minister at Duke
university who came and she was in front of me and I heard her voice and she said, look
up, look up. And so I looked up at her in the middle of my tears and she said,
the Lord is telling me that you have an orphan spirit that you haven't dealt with yet.
Come out of agreement with it, renounce it and tell it to go in the name of Jesus.
So I did that and I just felt some, you know, some freedom lifting there.
And then I had my head down again and then she said, look up again. And she said, there's more.
What are you holding on to? And all of a sudden, just from within me, all of a sudden it came to
my memory. And I had had this for, I mean, I'm 50 years old and I've had this for most of my life,
but I didn't know what had happened to me. And this image of this female sexually abusing me
came up out of nowhere. And so what came out of my mouth in that moment was fear of abuse,
was what came out that I needed to release. And she said, in the name of Jesus, it's gone.
And in that moment, I felt a peace that I had never in my life felt before.
It was just, it covered me. It just, it engulfed me. It was love. It was his pure love. And then
immediately I see a vision. And in this vision, I saw Jesus on the cross of Calvary. And he said,
take that experience, take that memory and nail it to the cross while he was on it. And I literally
was climbing up and I could see him next to me in agony and in pain. And he said, put it there,
put it there. And so I nailed it onto the cross with him and I got down. And the moment that I
got down, guess what happened? My whole countenance, everything, what I was wearing,
everything was transformed into this beautiful regal white gown. I was a queen. I was a queen.
And this long train, white train coming behind me. And I was walking with such a posture of just
knowing. You guys have been talking about the knowing. It was the knowing who I was, the
knowing that I was loved, the knowing and the authority that just bursted out of me just from
the knowing. And it was just so incredible. I'm telling you, so incredible to go through those
three things that you had to walk through in that particular moment. He said, from now on,
from now on, because I saw a wineskin and I saw a big hand squeezing the wineskin. He said, you
are going to be pressed. This is a season of pressing. And I saw the hand pressing it and
there were drops of blood coming out of it. It was the blood of Jesus. He said, but every time you
are squeezed, now that you know, the only thing that will come out is my blood. And it was just
this. Okay, I'm done. I don't need anything else. I don't need anything else. I'm ready. Tell me
where you want me to go. I'm ready. I'm equipped. I'm prepared. I know who I am. There's no stopping
it. And so in my mind is like, what do I want to do? I want others to experience the same.
no way I can keep all of that to myself and I know that he has equipped me to go out and because I
also had a sword when I got off of the cross um all of a sudden all these spider webs started
engulfing me and I was like starting to get all tied up and I heard this voice that gets your
sword out and I was like oh my gosh I forgot I have a sword it's the truth it's the truth of
the word so I get my sword out I slice it up and then I got to walk free so it just reminded me
that there will be more moments when the enemy comes to try to create division in my own mind
about who I am but I have the truth right at my side and not only that but he's taught me
the importance of community when I got there and if Vida is her name is the pastor if she had not
taken me by the hand and made me push through the fire to get to where God wanted me to go
I would have still been standing in the or sitting in the back crying and not being able to move and
that's why I've kind of recommitted to this group because I know that you we're all getting breakthroughs
in different areas and we're all doing this in such a profound way like what this is affecting
is not just here in the physical this is he told me this is done he said you are done a a stranger
came up to me during that time and he said I have a word from you from the Lord he said I have seen
you you have been fighting you have been fighting non-stop he said it is finished in the spiritual
realm now it's your time to rest and so I believe that we are all in that process of we've been
fighting fighting fighting wanting to speak wanting to speak wanting to give the message
and the message is already there now it's time to rest and let it flow just like when you stop
posting Lindsay and all of a sudden your numbers go up that's what it looks like
you can't stop it even if you wanted to
so that is my story of going through the process I'm still in awe about it and I'm just so thankful
for you guys here's what I want to point out you guys because we've been a lot of us have
been journeying for a while together and so this is important when we hear each other's processes
because it's testimony and in testimony there's invitation for the Lord to do it again so if
you've been with us for a while you know that Monica is big on obedience that's like one of
Monica's favorite words is obedience I I am here out of pure obedience and she has taken huge leaps
and mega action all based on obedience and that's honorable
but obedience is different for an orphan than it is for a son
because when you're an orphan obedience is fear-based you obey because you can't trust
what the outcome would be so you keep in line because that is your sense of control because
you can't that's all you can do is just obey when you're a son obedience is based out of love
you obey because you can trust Lord I trust you Lord you want me to go to this meeting
I'll go because I trust you because I know you love me and my expectation is set on your love
my expectation is not set on circumstances what I'm currently feeling that's huge another thing
I want to point out is Monica got on two weeks ago and was talking about her why and she was
talking about this word the Lord gave her about being a lie detector and breaking off lies from
people and isn't it interesting that the father in his kindness and goodness Monica just walked
her through that process that she said I want to do this for others that was prophetic
hmm and the Lord said okay I'm going to walk you through that and guys that's for all of us that's
available for all of us the and and I know that all of you are here because I watched your videos
you're doing what you're doing based on the testimony of your own lives hey this is a
victory this is a breakthrough that I'm walking and I want to share this with others that process
doesn't stop there's no arrival point there's there's it's glory to glory that we're going
so we can expect greater levels of awareness because again fullness is our starting point so
we're not we're not striving for fullness we're not working for fullness we're not trying to get
to a point to then feel full we are simply discovering and becoming more aware of how full
the fullness is the fullness of Christ is in our lives so thank you for sharing okay we've got 20
minutes I do want to hear from Tamara and and Susie are you able to just keep it brief I want
or do okay all right go ahead Tamara
Oh, you're muting, hold on.
I got it.
So for me, because the Lord had told me that the global impact, that I'm going to have
global impact, for me, I was like, that doesn't feel humble.
You know, like it doesn't feel humble to say that, you know, that, you know, this is going
to be big and not just an online community or just one thing.
Like he's given me vision for multiple things.
And what you spoken to me on one of the prayers, um, that I'm smart, that I'm intelligent,
intelligent, intelligent, smart is good to high IQ woman of depth.
You have no idea.
And I can talk with you offline about that, but you have no idea what that did for me.
Because I've always felt like, how am I here?
Or I don't qualify or I'm not good enough.
And then the thoughts come with God, if you're telling me I'm going to be doing these businesses
and I'm going to be my, I'm a be multifaceted in this, like, am I really smart enough to
do that?
You know, like I was beginning to doubt myself, like, am I qualified to do this?
And I've always felt like, well, what do I have to offer?
I don't have a background of high education or no education.
If I could just be honest besides high school.
And so for me, I'm like, but I've always been smart.
I've always been smart in school.
And so, but I guess the Lord is just like, let me show you what I've been tearing myself
down for years about my intelligence.
So for him to tell me this big vision of all of these things that I'm going to do businesses
and all of these things, I'm like, Lord, how can I do that?
You know, so, but the first step for me was getting past feeling like, oh, this is not
humble.
I'm going to have global impact, like, God, this is not humble.
And be okay to say that, you know, to have global impact and television and, you know,
not just, just having a community, just an online community, but it's going to be bigger
than that.
And just being okay with that, with verbalizing that and knowing that he's going to qualify
me for everything.
So that's it.
I know we got to get going.
No, I don't.
I don't want you to feel rushed, but I thank you for keeping it concise.
This is important for us, especially where we're heading into this next week, because
be surprised as you start to dream and write the vision down, which we're going to be talking
about a little bit today and pressing into that place of what it is that I want, how
that lie of self-promotion, false humility is going to want to creep in to that conversation
between you and the Lord.
And it has no place in the conversation between you and the Lord, again, self-promotion is
that fear it's fear-based.
And many of it, many of some of that fear, I don't, let me say, I'm going to try to use
my language.
Right.
It comes from a pure heart because we've seen it go awry.
Right.
And for whatever reason, we tend to let what has gone wrong, stick with us instead of what
has gone.
Right.
I know plenty of generals in the kingdom who have done this well and for long, like not
crash and burn at the end of their lives.
Right.
But there's, you know, the few, and I know it seems like many, but in comparison with
all is happening, not just in the public arena, but also behind the scenes, people will never
know their names of that have gone to do big, crazy things for the kingdom, like far outweigh
what has gone wrong, but the enemy wants to us to kind of stick with, well, that person,
you know, they took it too far.
And here's what I don't like ultimately about that is we become afraid of exaggerating the
goodness of God.
And you can't do that.
So we start to not just put limits on ourself, which is brutal enough, but we start to put
limitations on the Lord.
He can't be that good.
He can't be that kind.
He can't be that big.
So that's why I take that very seriously because he doesn't deserve it.
So many times that.
I held him hostage in his vision for what he wants to do in this world through me.
Remember when he was with us and he talked about that beautiful circle
of from him, through him, to him.
There's no room for fear in that.
There's no room for self-promotion that cause he, he is the
full circle and all of that.
What we're receiving is from the Lord.
It's happening through him in us and it's coming back to him.
And so, uh, so thank you for bringing that up to Mara.
Cause that's very real.
It's very real.
That conversation of this doesn't feel humble, but I, we have people in the
world who don't, don't run with that fear and they end up doing some incredible
things that serve the earth and I believe that serve the vision of the Lord has
for the earth, redeeming the earth, restoring the earth through technology
and medical advances and, um, community service, and there's a lot because
they, they're not stuck about whether or not this is humble or not.
They just kind of go for it.
And so now it's time for the sons of God to do the same and, and, and, and,
and take these, these who are also sons of God, they just don't know
it yet and make them aware, bring some awareness to what they're doing.
So, um, okay.
So Susie, we have heard from you.
I just want to hear from Xavier and then we'll, I want to share a little bit
about kind of what we're doing this week.
I, if I could just really, really, really short that open the orphan spirit,
obedience, the Lord just showed me that yielding and, um, you know, any, most,
mostly yielding, I realized that there is yielding as in giving in, giving up.
And then the Lord just showed me there's that yielding as in sinking into that
gentle, totally, totally respond, you know, reliable thing.
And, and it was just this morning.
I realized I have been operating out of yielding means losing a part of myself,
you know, giving up that bit of myself.
And so I'm really excited.
And so yeah, that orphan obedience versus son obedience and that just
gentle, soft yielding.
That's good.
I'll only let you share because it's your birthday.
It's it's okay.
I'm going, I'm going to be quick.
Um, because I've been on the road for the last three weeks.
In fact, I just, I've had about an hour's worth of sleep after 13 hours
of driving to get home, um, to everyone.
And I just wanted to say what everyone has shared has resonated with me.
Okay.
Because the Lord has been taking me through all of this throughout this
whole, this whole trip and things that have been happening, I'm not going to
go into the stories and whatnot, but every single thing, and, you know,
especially well, all of it, but what, what really strikes me is one of the
things that I've been going back and forth with, with the Lord with, especially
doing this trip and not being able to do what I wanted to do and get everything
out and do all of this.
And the Lord told me to stop striving.
Okay.
And, and just stop striving.
Okay.
And he showed me that what he's going to do in the next 30 days, just with, with
me, and I know it's not just with me because hearing all the things that all
of you are talking about, okay.
Are, are aspects of what he's dealt with me almost every day while I've been gone.
I have had those same lessons.
I've had, you know, had similar experiences.
And, you know, what, what the Lord is really doing when Lindsay, you said this
was, you know, I didn't even realize that this was the third week, you know, and
when you said, well, we had this, our seven levels of why, well, one of the
first things that Lord dealt with me was the, the, why, you know, I've been kind
of focused on the who and, and what this is, but then we get to the why.
And so the Lord has dealt with me on, on the why, you know, and, and the, this
fear of, I have to do, I have to go, I have to keep on going.
I got to make it happen.
I'm not doing all this.
I had to release that, that as well.
You know?
And so everything that, that each of you has talked about, the Lord has,
has been affecting in my life.
And I have a sense that we are all going through shades of this, of, of all of
these things, because it's just kind of how the spirit moves and I am Monica.
When you said, I am, you know, reaffirming my, or, and, and getting back into this
group, it was the same thing that really wasn't my plan either, you know, but
step by step by step, all of these things, the Lord has brought me back.
And really, you know, he had told me yesterday.
or did yesterday, day before, I don't know, I'm so tired, I can't, I can't even think straight. But what was going to happen in the next 30 days, you know, and then Bruce came out and said something about the 30 days. And so I knew that was the resonance. And that was the confirmation, you know, for me to get back.
So I am very, very encouraged. Okay. And I am, I know that God is with all of us. And I know that He has things for us that we can't even comprehend. And if we have started to comprehend it, then we're going, ah, you know, that fear wants to set in, but we're not going to allow that.
And I just, it's just incredible to me, just how the Lord is moving and how He is acting. And we each have our spheres of influence that we are going to be, you know, putting His Word forth and putting His love forth and His grace and His mercy to people who need something.
What the Lord showed me, most of all, in terms of what I'm doing, my why has to go with because people are missing this aspect of their Christianity, or an aspect of their faith. Okay. And they don't even know that it's missing. Okay. And so as the Word goes forth from us, from the Lord, through our mouths, people are going to start to recognize, wait a minute, no, that's true. This is missing, and I want that.
Okay. And just like you said, Monica, you have to share this, you can't help but share this, because there are people who are absolutely in the same position, who the Lord is ready to set free. And it's for each and every one of us. So I think that that's just fantastic. And I'm going to shut up now, because I'm really tired.
It's important that we do process out loud. Especially if you're an internal processor, there's power in us releasing the process verbally, and also writing it down. So I'm curious, for the people who did the homework from this past week, were we talking about, you know, what is it that I want, who wrote it down?
Just wave your hand. Okay, I see Susie and Kathy. Amy kind of, yeah. Okay, so I want to read, because that's part of our homework for this week. So, and I know that some people are catching up on this call, that's okay, too. The big picture is, part of this advancement, this four months, is we've spent a lot of time with the with, right, going wide, casting our net into the social media world, gathering our who.
I want us to start thinking about the depth. How, what, what is the next layer or layers that we want to bring our who in? Because ultimately, our goal is discipleship. We want to disciple people. Not our only goal, but you know, my goal as coaching you guys as Kingdom Messengers, because if you remember, I say it a lot, but I'm wanting to leverage the digital landscape to disciple nations, not just reach nations, but disciple them.
And so there's a depth involved. And so that's part of what we are spending our time doing is thinking through. Now, some of you guys on this call already are doing things like online communities or local Bible studies, or you have curriculum, or you've worked on courses. And so you've, you've done some things. Maybe those are things you want to continue doing, or maybe there's some things you just want to clarify and, and structure and, you know, sharpen what you do.
But we can't just focus on the external territory if we're not also focusing on internal territory. And because at some point, the external territory that we're taking will outweigh the internal territory that Lord's wanting to take within us. And we can be crushed by that. And so that's why you're hearing from all of you that have shared, like, it's not just what the Lord is doing outside of me. It's what he's doing inside of me. And I'm beginning to realize those are very deeply connected.
And I'm only going to be able to go as far as he's as I'm allowing like that awareness to build of what he's doing on the inside. So in the homework for this week, I want you guys to write down the vision. And for people like Marianne, who are like, I'm in the waiting, that is a vision.
Okay, that's a plan.
So wait with the Lord.
But some of you guys are like, I don't like to write things down. It's very important to take some time to do this. So I want to read a few scriptures Proverbs 2918 says where there's no revelation or where there's no vision, some translations say the people cast off restraint, but happy is he who keeps the law.
And Lord brought me back to this verse in the last couple weeks and you know it's a familiar verse maybe all of you know it. But what I was captured by was the, you know, the people casting off restraint.
And I realized that restraint is not always a bad or negative thing. Right. Boundaries are good. David writes in Psalm 16 that he does have boundaries indeed but his boundaries fall in pleasant places.
So,
But I, what I want us to, um, what we're breaking free of in this next week is
the lack of restraint, because if we don't know what the vision is or the plan
is, and I'm using the, I hate, I almost hate to use that word because we have
preconceived ideas.
Like it has to be a business, it's a business proposal or it's a ministry
outline, or it's a, it doesn't have to be that it can be that if that's what you
have, but this is about marking the moment with the Lord and taking it out of just
the internal dialogue and writing it down.
I think that there is, you treasure something when you're willing to
take the time to capture it.
Right.
Why do we take photos of things?
Cause we want to remember it.
We want to revisit that memory at a later date.
Right.
Uh, it's the same with the conversations that we have to the Lord.
It's okay.
If you're not like a mega journaler, but for the vision that the Lord is starting
to give us for our lives and for ourselves, when we, when we have the
vision and we treasure the vision, there's some boundaries that form so
that we can be intentional with the vision.
I think I've shared this with you guys before, but Graham cook has shared with
many people that he says, when you start to do intentionally what you've always
done by intuition, you'll experience acceleration and that's very key for
these next four months because there's a lot of us who are very good kind of
feeling it out, which is not bad being an intuitive person, being prophetic,
kind of going with the flow, being spontaneous, but spontaneity
is the fruit of intentionality.
That's when things that's, that's where I've, I believe that's where their
safety and trust in the spontaneity is when, you know, that it's kind of
founded in a place of intentionality preparation, some of us are breaking
free from being bound to that.
So there's freedom in that as well.
But what's going to happen as we write this vision down is there's
going to be some boundaries that form.
Some of that might have to do with your, your, um, time management.
Some of that might have to do with your mind management.
What am I going to be thinking of?
And what am I going to give my energies to?
And what am I like no longer going to waste my time thinking about what, what
are some things that I need to start taking action in and what are some
things that I know you don't have to get there this whole week is just about
taking some time and space to write the vision down, and that is going to
require some dreaming with the Lord.
And that's why I love that to me, what Tamara shared is like, go big.
Okay.
Don't be afraid to exaggerate the goodness of God.
He's a very, very big God.
And I guarantee you, whatever you dream and decide and process with him this week,
he can even, he can go far beyond that.
Right.
So that's exciting because we trust him.
So even if he can take us far beyond what we could ever hope, ask, think, or
imagine, we know that there's safety in that because there's safety in him.
So I want us to spend time this week, writing it down.
What is it that I want?
How speaking of this depth of discipleship, even like where, where is it?
I want to take my, who we're don't want to take them.
What's some of the internal territory even that I want to partner with them
and their journey and taking ground in.
It could be external.
It could be internal.
What do I want that to look like?
If it's not something I feel like I have a model for, this is a healthy
conversation to have with the Lord.
What, what do I not want to do?
Like, what do I just marry and set up?
What am I not feeling the joy in?
That's, that's a branch of this conversation you can have with the Lord.
Cause there's some clarifying things in that too.
Like there's some things I know that I just like, I could probably do that
would maybe be helpful for me, but I don't want to do that right now.
I want to do it in the future.
I've never stopped to ask him, Lord, why does that trigger me?
Are there some things that I, maybe there's some healing that needs to take
place, or maybe there's something in that, that is not pleasing to you and I'm your
son.
So can we have a conversation about that?
Can you entrust me with what it is at knowing what it is that you want to do?
And I'm not even willing to have that conversation with the Lord.
I just, I'm like, I just know that I get triggered or put off or repelled by
certain ideas of how the ministry could go and I've never stopped to ask him,
Lord, why does that trigger me?
What it is at knowing that I'm not going to, you know, blast people on the
internet that might be operating in that model, but I just like, let's, let's
keep this between you and me for now.
You know, it's, I'm trying to, I don't want to put too many parameters on it,
but I just want to give you some prompts and some dialogues of like, let's take
some time to think about this.
I think it's going to be a harder conversation to have with people who are
already, um, have built some things.
Cause it might feel like you're having to maybe deconstruct, but I also think it
can be a really helpful thing because I know that there's things that maybe
you're doing that you really love that you find life giving, or you.
really don't love, you don't want to continue to build.
And that's like, allow yourself to dream with the Lord
in those veins.
Sometimes we just don't want to visit it
because we're like, oh, that just seems like a lot of work
to rebuild or redo or restructure,
but it's a really safe conversation to have with him.
You're not committing to the next 20 years of your life
to do something.
You're wanting to take, like, what is it, Lord?
What is, like, let's match our hearts.
Like, let's put our hearts together for a second
and just dream about what it is that we want to do together
and try to be specific.
I know, Kathy, I loved hearing Kathy process
because she had different layers and levels,
and I know she's probably thought and dreamed about this
with the Lord too.
So if you're, I was very inspired
by all of what you guys shared.
I loved how Kathy shared,
because she said, I've even seen some products,
like, it was just really healthy for me
because I could begin to dream about it.
Like, oh, I haven't even thought about a product line
in a long time, and, like, what could kind of come out
of this?
So she was talking about visual journaling and stuff.
So those are things, like, it's really healthy
for us to listen to each other's process
because we're learning, we're practicing not to compare,
you know, like, oh, she really has it together.
I don't have it together, but we're also giving some space
to see ourselves in each other's testimonies
and experience the freedom and breakthrough that are,
that's the beauty of community
is that there's a collective breakthrough
that's happening as well.
So does anyone have any questions about that, that exercise?
Is it good?
Is it clear?
So I have been really enjoying the lives.
I hope you guys have been too,
because I think that there's real beauty
in, like, processing out loud,
especially for some of us who aren't used to doing that.
So what I would love for you guys to do this week
as part of your live is, you know,
you're going to be writing down a lot of things
with the Lord, but just sharing some highlights,
maybe some things that were surprising
or confirming for you after you do this,
after you do this.
And I know it's probably going to,
listen, it might not be one sit down session, okay?
This is probably a multi-conversation with the Lord.
What I'm wanting to set you free of
is you do not have to come next week
with like your full blown out ministry proposal
or business plan.
You just have to come saying,
I had the conversation or the conversations
and I wrote it down.
Or I typed it out, whichever you prefer,
but it is somewhere outside of myself.
I had a mentor share this past week
about he's been wanting to write a book for years.
It's kind of become a joke within our community
because he's like been writing a book
for the last three years.
And, but he's busy doing a lot of other things.
This is not to sell you on the idea of doing a book,
but this was his process and expression
was he realized that there was something
that he had been carrying into some conversations
with people who had basically been,
so what he does, people have kind of started to rip off
and do their own version of it.
Like no surprise, that happens all the time.
And some of these guys have actually,
so he was kind of standoffish
because he was like, I need to like,
do I need to get legal involved?
Because there's some copyright things.
Some of these guys actually reached out to him
and were like, hey, like unbeknownst to them
that he was having any of these struggles with them,
like what you do really inspires me.
Like almost came like a son and were like,
you've really fathered me into some of the truths
that you shared, like sons can be messy sometime
in their expressions, right?
But he had a really great conversation
with the Lord afterwards about
why this was so triggering to him
because he realized after he had some conversations
with the different people that some of the things
were like kind of blown out of proportion
in his own head and heart, right?
Has any of us ever done that?
And the Lord was telling him like,
you haven't taken the time.
And for him, it was the book.
It doesn't have to be a book for you,
but you haven't taken the time to write it down
because he's really good at operating out of like spontaneity
and like, we're just going to build it as they go.
He's like super entrepreneurial and everything like that.
He's like, you haven't taken time to write the book.
And if you go tomorrow,
if you're taken in a fiery chariot tomorrow,
what is left of you here that someone could take
and replicate and say, this is so-and-so's,
this is what the Lord has given so-and-so
for the earth, for the generations.
Like you haven't taken the time
to take that out of yourself,
the things that we've been building.
And yeah, there's different expressions
and there's things that he's been building
and businesses and stuff,
but for him, it was meaningful for the book.
For you, it could be something else,
but this right, this assignment, it's not a paper,
but just that's part of it
is we have to take it outside of ourselves
because all of us are very good hearing from the Lord,
dialoguing with the Lord internally.
And from that has come different expressions
of what we've been doing and building,
but it's time to write some, it's time to write it down
and start getting good at that.
of capturing what the Lord is dreaming with us about.
So that is the exercise. And then you go live in the group sometime this week before our next call
and just share, share what the process was like, share some highlights. If you're like this sucked,
share that too. Like it doesn't, I'm not looking for affirmation.
I'm not, it's kind of a coach's worst nightmare, the freedom that I'm giving you guys to go dream.
But I know that this is actually where the magic happens because, you know, if I was like,
if I was a good coach, I'd give you this framework and I'd have you fill out like,
okay, here, you'd put the title of your, what you're going to be doing. And then here's like
three bullet points. And there's no template. There's no worksheet for that. There's a time
and place for that, but we have to get good at dreaming again. We got, we have to get good at
pushing the boundaries, if you will, of the extravagance of God's goodness and allowing
that to be the boundaries that we, that are set for us as we plan and build because our
boundaries fall in pleasant places, but there are boundaries. And if there's no boundaries,
if there's no restraint, we perish. All right. I love you guys.
You guys seem like good to go. So if you have any questions, again, if you're ready,
if you're feeling ready, you can always book a one-on-one call with me and start chatting about
things one-on-one. And also you've got the tech helpline that you can book any time,
as many times as you need. So, and that's all found in your Kingdom Messenger account. And if
you can't get there, reach out to Tamara at help at kmwsupport.com and we'll get you all set up.
So, all right. Talk to you later. Bye-bye.