Hey everybody let me tag y'all to make sure oh there we go make sure that y'all
know I'm on in case because I also remember that and it's sometimes
difficult apparently for the lives to show up like I noticed hey Steph like I
notice and sometimes I have to like refresh the page if a live is supposed
to come on because otherwise you know I mean otherwise I miss the start of the
live because the Facebook isn't refreshing that quickly so um so I like
to tag y'all to make sure that y'all can find it quickly and easily I hope y'all
are doing good this is the last um save me from whatever I can do stuff
I've never heard of such a thing that is so funny we used to play Texas
Techopoly which is Monopoly that uses the University of Texas Tech that is in
the from my hometown and then there were different places on campus and different
places around around the city of Lubbock and so we that's what I grew up playing
I did not grow up playing Monopoly as much as I grew up playing Texas
Techopoly so I'm more familiar with that board even regular Monopoly board oh
yeah and the little tokens that you would move were little bitty books
little bitty wooden books this is like from the 80s you know it's old it's one
of my parents went to went to college there but anyway so I don't know what a
horseopoly is but I'm assuming it's the same general idea yes yeah that would
have been a long game um but anyway so I have been really looking forward to
tonight it is for the subject matter hey Carrie so it is the last one as I said
yesterday for the for the April intensive but of course we're going to
continue to have new material coming out all the time in the new one we're
just closing this one out but the reason I'm talking about this one is I'm trying
to do this subject in this group is I wanted to make sure that that I had
covered that the big I wanted to finish out all of the topics for especially you
know at the Intel and all of these business related topics that
specifically you know for the April intensive and then just continue to
build from here in the in the new group so all of this this type of stuff these
are going to be in the in the teachings and then I'm going to come on live and
anyway there's always new stuff for instance there's stuff that I have
talked to to each of y'all about individually based off of your questions
that I haven't mentioned in the group so they're all unique I mean that's why
y'all ask those questions is is sometimes yes it's how to apply
something that I talked about in the live but a lot of times when you ask me
to expound on something it ends up being you know obviously new information as
opposed to just reiterating the same information in a different way there is
some of that and then to help y'all be able to understand how to actually
practically apply the the ideas that I talked about in in the lives but also
there are questions that y'all ask that have nothing essentially whatsoever to
do with the lives but you've taken the context of it which is good you've taken
the context of it and tried to understand so how does this apply in a
larger picture how does the fly in another area of life and so I realized
that I've answered that y'all have asked very unique questions each of you in
your private sessions and I realized well the rest of y'all have really
benefit from hearing some of this information because maybe it's a
question that you never even thought to ask so I have it in mind to add all of
those to to to go back through my private sessions with y'all and and pull
out those things and actually do do either lives or pre-recorded teachings
on them so that the rest of y'all could hear those same answers so because this
stuff is stuff you know that a lot of this questions that y'all ask is stuff
that I've talked to other clients about and went on one because I've had those
clients you know for months and they there was just only so much that I could
pack into a month intensive so I'm looking forward to having a community
that's a bit more established that can that I can that we can just
grow on and you know and as opposed to just
repeating the same information every month and then having I can just have
all that pre-recorded and then I can continue to I can have
the time to invest into into new stuff and in broadening
our understanding you know increasing the measure
of our understanding in this area and increasing the measure in which we can
extend interest in various areas of our lives
not just moving from business beyond into finances and beyond into
relationships but actually just expanding it even
within business because what it is that we're talking
about is just the foundation of how to operate and rest in business
there's there's so much more that we could talk
about and the lord is continuing to expand
my territory in it as well so I can vouch for the fact
there's so much it is all good it's all more freedom
greater understanding so transparent hi yes yes exactly I think it's exciting
personally I enjoy watching the lord
extending my boundaries and expanding them for instance he's currently doing
that in the way that in the fact that I have been extremely busy today
so by the way Amy when you jump on I promise
I'm not ignoring you I will get to your message as soon as I can
sometime tonight but I've had I've had visits with clients and
and prospective clients today a new client jumped on
yeah a new client jumped on board for the intensive today
that I talked to the other day so she'll be in
either tonight she'll join be joining the group either tonight or sometime
tomorrow and anyway so just just a lot and then
all kinds of other people reaching out to me and I'm trying to
I have five five teachings pre-recorded that I'm
now trying to upload but when I tried to upload them it
Facebook's told me into the new group five of them that I've done it said that
they're about like between 20 and 25 yeah about
20 I think the smallest is shortest one is like 21 minutes or something like
that all the way up to like around 30 minutes
each a piece and so I decided to take the lives
you know teachings which ended up being like an hour sometimes an hour and a
half and I'm trying to actually make them
into more bite-sized chunks so anyway I have five done already
and that I had to I had to record last night in the middle of a storm
which felled one of my neighbor's trees a huge tree
just completely snapped thank goodness didn't
didn't land on a house theirs or mine but anyway so I was recording all that
in the middle of I was recording all that in the middle
of the storm last night and I when I went to when I'm now
trying to upload all of those teachings into the
into the the program into the new unit with the social
learning social learning format that we've created the lifestyle
community in it's saying that the files are too
large so what I'm having to do is I'm having to upload them into YouTube
so apparently I'm going to have a YouTube channel which I I had a YouTube
channel a long time ago but you know like
sometime I don't know like 10 months ago or whatever
but um or eight eight ten months ago but I haven't had one
now that I've been talking about um how to operate
from um offer how to work from rest and how to rest from work
so I'm now I just about an hour ago I created a YouTube channel and now I'm
I'm having to upload all of these videos so
it's taking a while but um so that's what I'm doing
anyway I'm very busy hey Holly so the Lord is teaching me
you know again okay Ashley now now um you know how do you how do you shift
you know in the middle of this type of a transition
not not shift how to remember to always operate and rest even in this type of a
transition where there's all kinds of things going on
and I've noticed there's such a difference in me
now than there was when I used to operate in this type of pace and
actually a lot faster than this type of pace I'm aware this pace is
nothing compared to what I used to do
yeah uh and and I'm noticing a difference
in me when I operate in it I enjoy it it's fun
because I'm not attached to the outcome it's all gonna be fun
right it's just operating completely from from place to rest
so anyway just thought I'd update y'all because I knew that y'all were going to
be seeing um all of the teachings come through now
we're going to be wondering well um you know is there going to be new
stuff so yes there will be and all of the
teachings
that you've already heard. When I'm reteaching them, I'm just, you know,
you always kind of teach them in a bit of a different way and you add new
material in. So, to me, I'm watching it and I'm going, wow, those are like extremely
new and extremely different from the original teachings. They teach the same
thing, only I'm expounding on them and I'm revealing a lot of times more
scripture and just giving different examples and whatever. So,
hopefully people enjoy them and they'll be helpful. So, talking about spiritual
leadership in business relationships. Like I've been saying, this is one of my
favorites, actually. Probably because I've had to... it's just dear to my heart. I've
had to live this thing out in very extreme situations, multiple extreme
situations. Honestly, some of the most extreme situations that I have
run into in business have revolved around the need to have to act in
spiritual leadership in whatever situation that I found myself in.
The Lord began to teach me this right out of college. I think fall of
2006 through spring of 2007. He used the fact that I was a
teacher to a little sixth grader to begin to teach me how to call
someone out for who they truly were in the Lord and inspire them, not in
the traditional way of inspiring them, but still inspire them and call them
call them out for who they were in the Lord and call them up, call them to rise
up according to my expectation. In other words, according to who it is that they
were as opposed to pushing them up from the bottom saying, oh no, you're better
than that and you can do this and I'm here to support you and all of that.
That's actually a lot of work and people actually hear the opposite message from
the message that we intend them to hear. We intend them to hear, hey you can be
like this, but what they hear is I'm not good enough. So the Lord taught me that
about 14 years ago and then he showed me how to incorporate that into business
and into personal relationships as well. I went through a very extreme
situation that we'll see if I even have the opportunity to talk about tonight
on the live where I was being verbally abused by a peer in front of my
subordinates all day every day for months and how the Lord had to show me
how to handle that situation because I'd never been in a situation like that. I'd
never been taught to like that. Even my siblings, you know siblings can be hard
with each other, right? Even my siblings and I had never talked to each other
like that. I did not know what to do in that type of situation. Here I was 30
something years old having to interact with it and the Lord just had to teach
me in the moment. I didn't have a mentor to explain to me, for me to be able to
talk to and say hey this is the situation that I'm going through. I
don't know what to do. Can you give me any advice? I really had to rely on the
Spirit of the Lord. So he began to flesh out, expand my territory in which I
could operate in according to the spiritual power and authority of the
position that I held in Christ and be able to provide a spiritual leadership
for the person who was abusing me. To hold space for someone who was abusing
me and then obviously as an extension to hold space for my subordinates who were
looking to me for leadership and into how to support them so that they could
be who they could be with the project that they were working on
needed to be. Then of course personal relationships as well. So I've done this
with children not just that one child. I've done it with other that I taught.
I've done it with other children and saw remarkable results where people who had
known these children for years were just shocked at the results. Then the
same thing with the situations that I found myself in in a corporate
environment. So those are just the personal ways through which the Lord had
me actually walk this thing out. That's probably why it's one of the
most dear things to my heart because it was in operating in spiritual leadership
whether it be with children or with personal situations or in business that
the Lord showed me redemption of a situation that was
Nothing short of supernatural. I mean no one could believe it or could understand
it, could understand that change and except those that were around me while
it was happening and watching the transformation that knew that it was
something in me that was causing the transformation. They didn't know it was
the presence of God. They didn't know it was the Spirit of God that when people
come into the presence of that it transforms the situation but they did
they did watch it and they knew that it had to do with with how I was handling
it and they've never seen anybody handle a situation like that before. I hadn't
either. So I'm just going okay Lord I'm walking to work what do I do
today? Somebody just like got right in my face and said that I have to respond in
this moment. What do I do? So anyway this is very dear to my heart because I have
seen the love of the Lord in a way that is so very precious and tender and so
much more one of the most impactful ways that I've actually watched the love of
God transform other people is through spiritual leadership. So I wanted to talk
about the fact that first of all the foundation of all of this and that is to
remember that we should always view whether we're talking about clients
whether we're talking about our customers whether we're talking about our
team members. So for those of you in the MLMs whether you're talking about your
upline or your downline whichever you're talking about people who are buying your
products or services you're you know for for Steph you know people that she
interacts with related to her portfolio again whether they be customers or they
be you know others that she's working with business partners or you know
relationships with your spouses or your children or your parents or whatever
regardless of the type of relationship you handle it the same way and that is
that and it all starts with how we actually view the person. So just like we
were talking about a couple of days ago in attracting clients the very first
thing that we have to do is we just focus completely is is we don't work on
trying to fix somebody else we be who we need to be we understand our identity in
Christ and we we settle into that understanding and we solidify ourselves
and anchor ourselves in and in acknowledging that and in believing that
and it's from that position that we are then equipped and prepared to do
whatever it is that needs to be done to give to the situation or the person in
front of us literally whatever it is that they are needing if God has has
has determined that his spirit through us in that moment will provide for that
need for them. So there will be nothing nothing hindered so you don't have to
walk away from any situation when you're in that when you're in that
understanding when you're centered in that lack of a better phrase you don't
never you would never have to walk away from a situation thinking oh well I
don't think that I handled that correctly or I bet you I could have done
more or I could have done something different or in any way feeling
responsible for the outcome because all you do is you just simply present
yourself just as you are just as the Lord made you and then and then creation
including another human soul will choose how it is that they want to
respond to that but it doesn't leave you responsible for their decision it
doesn't leave you responsible for their reaction and for their response because
you simply give who it is that you are. Christ for instance is the perfect
example of this and I was talking to somebody about this today and that is
the fact that he sorry I keep having some notifications he was always being
pressured by some group or another to be something that he wasn't to be
something different than he was. I mean we're talking about the Pharisees we're
talking about political activists of the area who was very at the time who were
very excited and thought that that Jesus was the Messiah and that he was
going to come and and you know rise up an army rise up a movement and push out
the Romans. I mean that's what they were always looking for the Messiah to do is
to save them in that way. Very interestingly, total side note, that's
what we tend to do.
with the Lord as well. We tend to think, oh my goodness, well when he comes back,
you know, then he's going to save us from all of this oppression.
Well, do we see the similarity between the way that the Jews were looking
forward to the Messiah's return versus
compared with how we are viewing the rapture?
That God is going to save us from all of this?
And Jesus just does the same thing now that he did to the Jews back then. He's
like, that is not why I'm come. He said the point is not the out and
he said your threat is not any outward oppression. He said it's
an internal oppression that you need to be
freed from. The outside is not a threat.
It's the internal that's the threat. So that's just
total side note there. But so anyway, whether it be the political activists of
the time or his own disciples,
they were always wanting him to be something
different than he was. And they were disappointed. In fact, it
got to the point where sometimes Jesus would say something and he'd say,
you know, he'd talk about something specific
and it says that some of the disciples, he said some people aren't going to be
able to receive this. Sure enough, some of his disciples
couldn't receive it and it says that they left.
I don't remember if it mentions how many of his disciples left at the
time, but a lot of his disciples left him.
People, even those who would follow him, his disciples,
not people who were just kind of, you know, walking,
just kind of like following him around and just listening to a sermon
every now and then or a big fan of his. Disciples of his actually couldn't
handle some of the things that he was saying and the bible says
that after he said certain things, they left.
Like many of them left. And yet Jesus continued to present
himself as he truly was, as the Lord made him, as the Lord
intended him to be, as the Lord desired, okay Jesus, my spirit
united with your spirit on the earth. This is what it is that the
earth needs. I have made you what it is that the earth needs. I have
made you according to what it is that your
clients need, your business needs, your spouse needs, your children need.
So that's one of the reasons why self-care
or things, anything related to self-care, whether you're talking about,
and we're talking mostly about like mental, emotional, spiritual,
that kind of thing, that self-care is extremely important. Physical
as well obviously, but it's because we can't fully give
what others around us need unless we are giving them ourselves. And if
we're sacrificing ourselves thinking that, well we don't have time
for ourselves because we have to be something that somebody else needs,
that is being, that is being a slave to someone else and actually not
giving that person what it is that they need. Because if
they needed something different than who you were,
then like who you were in your spirit, God would have given them someone else,
but he gave them you. And so you have to make sure that
you're always giving them you. You cannot sacrifice you. You cannot
sacrifice that, lack of a better phrase, self-care.
Spending that time with the Lord, making sure that you're getting plenty of rest,
etc. That makes the best you, which makes you the most effective in
the time, effort, energy, and decisions that you're
able to invest in someone else. That you're able,
it enables you to see your children, your spouse, your parents,
your business partners, your clients, your
customers. It helps you be able to see them in the
spirit in the most truest sense. If you know who you are and if you are
taking care of, because you being the fullest version of you,
united with the Lord, constant communion and relationship with him
is what they need. And Jesus knew that, which is why he refused to
to be swayed by what everyone else thought that they needed from him,
wanted him to change to be for them. You say, no,
you don't understand. That's actually not what you need.
Me being who God created me to be, God created me to be like that because
that is who you need. And then God will, God will take care of
the consequences. God will take care of them. So we don't have to think that
all of their, that their blood is on our hands.
It's a very extreme expression.
We don't have to think that their reactions and that their responses to us
is somehow our problem and that God is holding us accountable for it. God just
wants us to rest in Him, to be who He designed us to be, to operate out of that
out of the love of the Father's heart and then and provide someone else the
Spirit of God that gives them an opportunity to respond to it. Because if
we're blocking that and we're and we're thinking and just choosing instead to
operate out of the soul and give them something instead of just allowing the
Spirit to flow through us, we're not giving them life. We're giving them death.
If we're operating out of the soul and think, oh they need this, okay let me give
them this. That's operating out of the soul and it's giving them nothing that
will result in life. It'll only give them give them death but if we something that
will result in death but you know something that will burn is wood, hay or
stubble. But if we leave ourselves open and allow the Spirit to flow
through us, even if they reject it, remember God says when they reject you
remember they're not rejecting you, they're rejecting me. Why? It's His Spirit
that needs to be flowing out and through. Not to feel selfish about self-care.
Think of it as a river. You need to find the balance in the center as you flow
along. Yes, too close to one bank or the other can be detrimental. One bank is
selfishness, the other is the opposite. Yes, and it's pouring from an empty cup. Yes,
yes, exactly. It's very important because the way that the Lord created us is the
is the very thing that He, the God of the universe, says that they need and we
can't make a better judgment call about that than He can. We can't, our children
can't, our parents can't, our business can't. Nothing can make a demand of us
that is that calls and declares a judgment that is greater than what God
has declared is the truth. So now it's still recording. Hopefully y'all
can hear me. When you let your spirit flow out of you and people criticize you
in your opinions, I know, I know. So which is why we need to be
very solid that our identity is in Christ. It sounds like a cliche, we've
heard it our whole lives, but think about what we've learned about our identity
and how much we're loved by the Lord. And if we ever struggle with this, we go back
to that and we ask the Lord to be our support in that. I'm fully aware
of what it is like to live out of rejection. Fully aware, which I will not
go into at the moment, but it's actually very, very, very extreme. I've spent the
majority of my life actually alone. The majority of it, not the minority, the
majority. So I'm very well aware of that and it is extremely hard. It is extremely
difficult and we can just remember also as well and by remember I don't
mean logically, but we need to, we need to in those times, any time that we feel
that kind of resistance, that's what we need to release. It shouldn't be like
this. They shouldn't be rejecting me. I, you know, I don't deserve this or maybe I
do deserve this is what we're thinking. Maybe I do deserve that. All of that is
resistance and we have got to release that. And then if we do, when we release
that, it provides us with the opportunity to be able to receive the
actual truth from the Lord so that we're no longer triggered. It's stuff like
rejection that I have been healed from and I'm continuing to be healed in
greater and greater measure that I'm actually not working to be healed from.
I'm simply releasing it and therefore I'm becoming more and more of my true
nature because I'm stopping hindering my nature. I'm actually resisting, I'm
releasing all of the resistance and I have discovered that when I'm around
those people, I'm not as triggered and I haven't been working on it. I haven't
been going to counseling. I haven't been trying to counsel myself. I haven't been
reading the Bible to try to remind myself about what God says this and God
says this, God says this. I am releasing and I am filling my mind and my world up
with the choice that God is, however big that I think his love
is at the moment, I expand that. However much good that I believe that he is, I
expand on that and that is how I'm healing from the trauma. You know where I
am telling my soul, okay soul you are safe with this with the spirit man and
it is okay.
and you don't need to do anything anymore. You don't have to know what the
trauma is. You don't have to know what the rejection is. You don't know have to
know how deep it is. You don't have to know why you're being triggered. Just
release it and spirit man I give you permission to come in and in heal me. You
got it? Great. I'm gonna go about my day because I'm going to believe that you're
going to do that. I'm gonna believe that it is going on in my subconscious while
my conscious is focused on other things.
Yeah I'm sorry I was thinking about saying something else but I don't know.
Okay so I'm just gonna say this hopefully it's not gonna get us too far
off track but something that I was talking to somebody about today is
remember that 95% of all of our decisions etc that drive our life 95% of
that is subconscious and yet we tend to focus all of our 5% of consciousness on
everything it is that we need to do and we're trying to problem-solve 100% of
our life with 5% of our capacity. No wonder we're tired. So so apparently just
again just like the physical is this type and shadow of the spiritual the
majority of us healing the majority of us problem-solving and all of that is
95% under the surface that we are not required of not required to be conscious
of let alone you know expected to be conscious of in order for it to happen.
95% so just let it go you don't have to think about it you don't have to figure
it out you don't have to try to heal from it you don't have don't have to try
to understand it and you can be healed. So saying it's so freeing yes I know so
anyway if y'all want to talk more about it specifically you know in our one-on-ones
we absolutely can and I just thought that I would throw that out there just
really fast yes it is very hard but there are ways to there's way there are
ways for us to be healed from it and I'm a testament to that fact and that
the way that God began to one of the first ways that God began to reveal to
me the ability to heal without having to think about it was through rejection was
through someone that I had a an extremely deep wound one of the
honestly probably the deepest wound that I've received from a human being ever
and it wasn't no it wasn't like an event it was over a large amount of time the
deepest wound that I believe that so far that I understand which I don't have to
know all my traumas right from what I've been conscious that was my deepest wound
and God has healed it God taught me this principle about releasing and
everything and this was one of the first ways that he actually taught me in
experientially that it works was through through rejection and this is somebody
who even told me that my relationship with God was wrong I mean it was oh man
it cut deep so anyway so I just wanted to give you hope but we can we can talk
about all this more one-on-one can you touch on how to heal a rejection when
it's in a constant context so the wound gets hit on an almost constant yeah been
through that too so yes um okay so we are getting a little off-topic but I can
touch on that so and for for the constant it's the same thing that it's
if we if we are trying to solve all of it in with 5% of our capacity then it's
gonna take entirely too long it's gonna be extremely hurtful it's gonna drum up
all kinds of pain but if we allow if we just if we just release it and we and we
every time we get triggered in the moment we just let go the expectation
that it should be different we're not talking about giving into it just like
accepting it like well you know I guess it's the way that it is and and I guess
I just have to take it no we're not talking about that perspective please
write a book my other client keeps telling me that and one of my one-on-one
clients to get started talking to me about a book I'm like what book so
apparently there's a book coming in um but okay so sorry where was I um oh but
yeah so the trigger so when you're triggered the very first thing that we
do is is is we have to we have to release that whatever it is that suddenly comes
up
that creates that tightness. We've got to let that go.
That's the most important thing because for one thing we can't actually
deal with the situation and with the person in
in a healthy way when we're not in a place of rest.
So if we want to actually effectively deal with this situation
we have to first get rid of the other otherwise we don't have a healthy
position to even be hopeful that we can
effectively deal with it because we're not in a healthy place to
make a a right decision. So we've got to let go of that first and
because God says that you and how you feel is more important
than that interaction that you're having with that other
person. That is more important to him. That is how important you are.
He's like I don't want you to feel like that so we're gonna I want you
and I give you permission to deal with that first so you just drop it.
You just let go of whatever is that is that that angst and that
and that and that hurt and that frustration. That's exactly what I'm
learning. I don't want to be a martyr but I'm tired of requiring
respect. Yeah oh my word how to commit that one
because yes I've had to I had to do that one too.
A man okay so I might have to think about
that one because I've had to live it and and the Lord showed me how to do it
but I'm gonna have to think about how to articulate what I did.
Because I actually continually have to do that with
with some people that I know and that's some of the greatest
rejection that I've received is a rejection where I'm not even being
respected. It's not even a rejection of an opinion.
It's a rejection of a lack of respect and I'm not being treated with respect
and it's you know in my world in my
world I'm not comparing it to anybody else's but in my world it's very
extreme and I have to deal with that as
well so I'm going to so I'm going to have to get back to you on
that because I cannot think at the moment
about how to articulate how I navigate that and meaning
like how I shift, how I handle it, how I
handle it internally so that I don't crumble and give in to the lie that is
trying to attack me. The lie that wants to that's demanding
attention. So I'll get back to you on that.
Yeah and don't beat yourself up if others do turn to walk away when you
stand up for yourself. True stuff. Yes, absolutely.
Okay, so back to the thing at hand. So I will get back to you on that.
I'm just gonna have to ask the Lord to remind me
how to put into words because I'm trying to think I've ever had to explain
it before. I've just had to work. Hey, Amy. I just
had to do it a lot.
Oh my word. That right there is probably one of the biggest
struggles that I've had in my life. Is that right there? You worded it really
well. Really well, Holly.
Feel free to use me as an example from Christmas.
Oh, that's really sweet. I appreciate that. Okay.
I'll remember. Let's see here. It's very sweet of you.
What was I gonna say? Okay, so let me get back to what it is
that we were talking about. It's good to know that this is such a
hot topic because we can absolutely talk about that one.
Just not something that even though that was one of the biggest issues in my
life that I've had to deal with it never occurred to me that that would be
a good subject to talk about. So I'm glad y'all brought it up.
Let's see. Okay, so seeing people. I don't remember
where it is that I left off exactly, but
remember that we need to see people for who they are in Christ. Remember that
the bride was reinserted back into Christ when we die,
when he died on the cross. So after he died, the spear was inserted into Christ
and as a type in a shadow even though there was physical reasons
why the soldier was doing that in order to prove to
himself that physically there was physical evidence that Jesus was
already dead because blood and water came out.
Symbolically, the second Adam's side was opened
and blood and water came out. Blood as a symbol of the fact that the
bride was being purchased by the blood and then the water coming
out as a symbol that the bride was being cleansed
by the washing of the word because remember Jesus is the word.
Washing of the word, washing of the water by the word.
Just as a husband is told in Ephesians that he is called to wash
and cleanse his wife by the cleansing of the water of the word.
Jesus is the one who did, who showed us that example when he
when he died.
Anyway, that is when the bride was reinserted back into Christ and we
became one with Christ. So, we're one with Christ and they are one with Christ. They
just don't know it. So, whoever it is that we're interacting with, they don't know
that they're already one with Christ. They think they're down here and so this
is who they're going to present to you. They're going to present themselves in
brokenness. They're going to present themselves in low self-esteem. They're
going to present themselves in false humility that they think is humility and
really it's low self-esteem. They're going to, like I said, sometimes present
themselves in extreme brokenness and they're going to attack you. They're
going to try to tear you down. They're going to scream and yell and
and say that they're over you and that they're better than you and you know all
of this respect that we're talking about and in rejection, etc. They're doing it
from this place. So, we feel rejection if we put ourselves down here, if we operate
out of the soul. That's what I'm talking about all about up here. We're one with
Christ. We're in the Spirit versus believing that we're down here. So, in so
many areas of our life, we're going to believe that we're up here. Yes, I've got
this thing down and then we get a trigger and we all of a sudden realize,
okay, in this area of my life, I apparently believe I'm down here. I'm
believing some kind of a lie that tells me that I'm actually in that that my
oneness with Christ is actually limited in this area and I'm actually like this.
And so, that is when we can feel rejected because we're in this
head-to-head battle because we're peers now. It's two broken people trying to
interact. And so, this person's saying, no, you know, I'm over you and you're
subservient to me and you're not as good as I am and you've got issues and
you need to grow up and you need to be, you know, this, that, and the other. He
answers, a fool is a fool. Don't lower yourself. That's right. And so, that is
that's what we're talking about when we're talking about feeling rejected.
We've dropped ourselves down here. We're starting to believe a lie because if you
know that you're up here, then anybody who's down here, they can just
scream and yell all they want. You're like, I don't mean anything. You know, it's like
you know, like if a toddler, if you are, if you're trying to put a toddler to
bed and a tolerant toddler tells you you're mean, but does that hurt your
feelings? No. Now, do you want your child to tell you that? No. But do you actually
think, oh my word, that might be true. I am putting my toddler to bed. I'm being
mean. No, because you know that what you're doing is good for them. So,
whatever they say, it's just like, it's not true. Now, I know that it that it kind
of hurts. You're like, why would my child say something like that? You know, I don't
want them to be that type of person, but we don't actually take it on as true
about us. We know that it's not because we know who we are. We know our position,
but when you come, you suddenly start talking to your mother or suddenly you
start talking to your father or suddenly you start talking to your husband or
suddenly you start talking to your business partner or your best friend or
your arc in me or whatever and all of a sudden or that lady at church who's very
nosy or who thinks that she's better than you at creating a
committee in a Bible study. You know, whoever it is. You know, when we run into
those people, all of a sudden we bring ourselves back down here. I'm like, oh, I
don't really know that I'm like that. That's when we start feeling rejection.
So, we have got to solidify ourselves in our identity in Christ. That's nothing
that anybody else can do for us. Quite honestly, we can't talk ourselves up
there, by the way. Now, we can give ourselves a bit of leverage. The thing
that I have found to be the most beneficial when I'm about to walk into a
situation, maybe I'm about to see someone that I'm struggling in a
relationship with and I walk in there or I'm about to, I don't know, have a call
with somebody. It could be business related, could be personal, whatever and
there's something about me that's struggling. Let's say, for instance, I'm
nervous. If I'm nervous, it means that I think I'm down here because somebody who
is up here isn't nervous. That's not my nature. I think that I'm something that
I'm not. I've forgotten that I'm the new man and I think I'm the old man and I'm
nervous. So, I have to remind myself of who I am. So, what I do is the very first
thing, when did we talk about this? I think we talked about it in the second
live, the second teaching where I gave you that declaration that I
declare where I say, you know, Christ, I believe. I walk my soul through this. The
whole point of it is to walk my soul through this and remind
my soul who I am and so I literally, I personally say it out loud but I live
alone. You could say it in your own head but I
find it helpful to actually say it you know to help my soul kind of shift
and I say Christ I believe that I was taken out of you
and I believe I've been reinserted back into you and
I abide in you as you abide in me and we abide in the father as the father
abides in us and therefore I am always about my father's business
and sometimes I have to repeat that a few times and I'm not
the way that I'm saying it is I'm saying I'm declaring it like a judge would
declare it. I'm saying this is what is true
Christ I believe this and I believe this and I believe this and I believe this
we're not asking ourselves we're not asking the lord to help me believe
something and I'm not telling myself you should
believe this you should believe this you should believe this
no I'm declaring it to be so and it helps my soul shift faster and to remind
myself of who I am and I bring myself from this position to
this position a lot faster. I mean like I said the most I probably
have ever had to repeat it is like three maybe four times I don't even think
I've ever repeated it four times maybe only three times and I'm out there
and I take the call I interact with the person whatever my
whatever it is that I'm about to do I'm about to this is
this was you know what I even do it every now and then
you know when I jump on when I jump on a teaching
every now and then I'll realize wait a minute
I'm feeling a little I don't think that I'm remembering who I am in Christ
and so I'll repeat it I think I did that
yesterday or the day before or something and I did that I thought
to remind myself of who I am so that I can give you
who it is that I am who my spirit is not who I'm afraid that I am but who I
actually am so in order to give you who it is that I am
I have to remember so I do I walk myself through that and I declare that to
to the Lord and I shift in my soul so anyway that's what we need to do
I find that exercise personally very helpful I was never explained that
I just personally found that very helpful I mean
I've never been it's never been explained to me that's just something
that I noticed helped me and so perhaps it'll help you and if it
doesn't you know find something else you know that that really helps you kind of
leverage leverage your soul and kind of push you
up into that place and remind you of who you are so that you claim it
not that you believe it that you you you actually shift anyway so
if so you understand that whenever you're providing spiritual leadership
to a friend to a child to a parent to whatever in other words someone is
presenting themselves to you is from a broken place
that is a situation in which you're called to be a spiritual leader
even if it is for five minutes say you're with a friend
and they're presenting some brokenness to you and I don't mean like anger or
something like that but they're you're on the couch and y'all are talking and
they're presenting some they're presenting the fact they
believe that they're that they're broken that is an opportunity for you to be in
this position and to speak to and to speak to them
and and as as a spiritual leader providing a bit of covering if you will
that provides them a safe place in order to receive grace
to receive who it is that they truly are and rise to this position
and then that might it might only take five minutes and then you might be
talking about another subject and then in that other subject you're
the one who's struggling with some something you're and you're talking
about x y and z and you don't recognize that you're
talking out of your soul but your friend sees that and they're
like but that's not who you are you're this
and so they talk to they talk to this person here they talk to the you up here
and so eventually you're oh that's right that is my name
isn't it you recognize your name and you forget that you shift your
consciousness from here to here because this is who this person is
talking to if you're talking to this person
they can't they can't hear how to be different you have got to address
this person whether you're talking to a client whether you're talking to people
underneath you that you're managing and i under i don't know that any of y'all
on here actually are managing people i'm not sure
but i used to manage a lot of people and this is how i had to do it
i always had to talk to this person it didn't matter who was
who was presenting themselves to me and how they were doing it
i always talked to this person and i taught and i
and i called
this name out. And so they always loved coming to me about things because they always loved
remembering, well that's right this is who I am because this is who Ashley sees. I think I'm this
but Ashley always sees this and so by the time they're talking and finish talking to me when
they walk away they leave like this. And then it enabled them to do their jobs better and handle
their projects better. It enabled them to be in a position from which they were able to make better
decisions, be much more creative, etc. Because all of their energy was now free from thinking
about and protecting their brokenness and their sense of vulnerability. And they were now able
to spend that in being creative because they had removed and released all of the hindrances
by rising to this position. So that is what we're called to do and it doesn't matter if they are
if they and their brokenness are throwing anger and animosity, disrespect,
my goodness what other things, abuse. You know it doesn't matter what it is that they're trying to
that they're trying to throw. If you talk to this person, not this one, if you see who they are in
Christ, if you remember no matter how awful and ugly their brokenness is that they're throwing
at you, if you in the spirit remember who it is that they are, you know what they're one with
Christ and they don't remember it. But I know that I'm one with Christ. So if okay so say for instance
if you're both down here and you're getting hurt and you're not up here, you can't talk to this
person because you're down here. The only way you can talk to this person and so that they can
rise, in other words that you can be what it is that they need, is if you're up here. So that's
why it's important to prepare ourselves first. It's important that we need to be, it's important
for us to be who it is that we need to be in order to be able to have the, in order to be
able to have what other people need in order to get where they need to go. You have to deal with
yourself first. You have to put on your own oxygen mask first before you can be available to help
someone else. Remember that one, you know from when we fly in an airplane. That's why you, it's
even with the oxygen mask, you know where someone's life is in jeopardy, you have
the parent and the adult has got to take care of themselves first before they can hope to be what
the child needs. The child needs them. The child doesn't need themselves. The child needs you,
so to speak. Needs you to be you. That's what the child needs and then so when
parents are driven by their child's demands, the child is not in a situation in which he even
understands what he needs. God knew what he needed so he gave him you. So you have to be you in order
and that will naturally, effortlessly provide the child with what it is that they need. It's when
you're denying the child yourself because you're so focused on providing
according to the child's, you know, demands that you, you know, directly then according to the way
that they say that they need it and they say that they want it, etc. That the child actually doesn't
get what it is that they truly need. It might satisfy them in the short run, kind of like
the way that we eat. We eat sugar in order to satisfy something in our hearts or
we give in to some kind of an addiction, whether it be food or something else, TV, Netflix, whatever,
but in the long, that's actually not what it is that we need, but we think that because
it suppresses and it stifles and it minimizes the feeling of the need for a while.
In other words, it kind of suffocates it for a while. We think that it's gone, but it's not.
So anyway, so in other words, the point is that we are who other people need, whether we're
talking about children or you're talking about team members or you're talking about an upline,
downline, clients, vendors, business partners, spouses, parents, whoever, they need you to be
who you are. They don't know it though, but remember what Jesus did and lied at that situation
and then remember that whenever they rejected him, that Jesus says that they're not rejecting
us, they're rejecting him in us and so there's no reason for us to take it personally.
Which sounds nice to hear and we all know the words, but we need to actually
walk it out. So I'll try to do, I'll try to
do teaching about how to actually practically walk that out when we're
when we're struggling with rejection and versus a position of martyrdom or
being a doormat. I lived the majority of my life as a martyr and a doormat.
Very extreme. I had almost I almost didn't I actually didn't even know what
I wanted you know because I stopped dreaming and because dreams I felt were
a threat to me so I stopped dreaming and so God had to teach me how to dream
again. Okay so anyway that is how we need to view people. Now what do you do so
let's think let's think let's take all of this a bit further. Yes you call this
person's name out up here you do that however what one of the things that I
was very was just very surprising to me I don't I don't know I don't know if
this is gonna be surprising to you I was just very surprised when I discovered
that this is how it works. When I became a when I happened to be a leader of a
of a large group of people in a corporate environment I began to
discover leadership in a very in a brand new way. It expanded my understanding of
it tremendously and I began to realize that the perp that what a leader is
meant to be is not to actually get anything accomplished. That is not the
responsibility of a manager. The purpose of a manager is is not to make sure that
a project gets done. He should not be responsible for that. What he is
responsible for is and I'm just gonna use the manager as an example in other
words you know a leader he's responsible for is to providing an environment in
which the people underneath them underneath them feel safe and have what
it is that they need in order to do what they need to do and function in the
capacity in which they were intended to function. That is the purpose of a leader.
That is the purpose of leadership is you provide an umbrella in other words of
protection for everyone else to be able to function underneath you and and have
space to do so. To have protection from anything on the outside that wants to
come in and try to try to damage it and and also make sure that whatever it is
that they need you make sure that there's nothing hindering them and being
able to get it. That is the purpose of a leader. So what is an example? Let me let
me use there's a variety of ways that we can talk about this but let me talk
about it from perspective of a couple people on here who are in MLMs and
because they have down lines and so just like managers they have people
underneath them that have their own businesses just like they have their own
business they have their own business and yet they are also a leader to them.
So what do you do if you can't tell them what to do and because they have their
they're all autonomous so to speak they all have their own business and yet
you're supposed to be you're supposed to be a team you're supposed to be a
support system. In that support system what is the purpose of a leader? The
purpose of a leader again is to provide an environment that is safe for those
people to operate and function in the capacity in which they were intended to
function which is determined by God. Not by you but by God. God and allow them to
operate with God according to their spirit build their business in the way
that they were that God and them want to build it etc and to provide into in
other words to provide them a space in which they can learn to that they can be
empowered they can feel empowered they have an environment in which they can
learn they can begin to try ideas they can begin to function while they're
being given support of who it is that they are. Not support in what they do
like their actions but support because of course you can do that as well but
the point is that's that's not that's not the focus the point is they need to
receive support for who it is that they are.
know that you see who they are and you're calling that person out. And if
you do that, they will naturally rise up and operate according to the spirit that
God gave them. And when they operate according to the spirit in which God gave them,
what they are doing whenever they start coming up with great ideas, when they
start implementing all of those ideas, they implement, when they implement them
out of the spirit, they implement life. They're creating businesses that
actually have life flowing through them that end up, their ideas succeed,
their businesses flourish, they attract the clients that they're meant to
attract, etc. Because they are being seen and recognized by the leader for who
they are. That is the purpose and the function of a leader. It's not to get the
business and the money and the profit to get to a certain standard of measure. It
is to empower the individuals to be whatever it is that God has created them
to be. That is the most powerful function of a leader. It's to support the people
for who they are, not to make them into something different or to fix their
strategies or whatever. Issues and mistakes, all of that will naturally iron
themselves out if people feel empowered and believed in. That they have value and
a contribution and they need to be provided an environment in which they
can feel supported in that. The same thing with parents and children. That is
the exact same thing. That a parent is a leader who is providing an
environment in which the children in that environment have a safe
place in which to grow and function. It's to put that umbrella and that
leadership protects anything that comes in that wants to come in from the
outside to touch this or to taint this. It also provides make sure that
anything that the children need is provided in order to function the way
they were intended to function by God, by the spirit that God created
those children to be and to act in. That they have whatever it is that they need.
The purpose of a leader is to provide an environment in order for people to
operate and function according to the spirit that they were
created in and created to function in by God.
That's the purpose of a leader. It's not to accomplish something. It's not to
help somebody else accomplish something. It's to encourage, empower, and
support them. Now along with that you can actually do things. You can actually
actively help them accomplish X, Y, and Z but it's supporting them and their
decisions even if you don't agree with it. Because you're supporting
them. Let me give you an example because I know some of you
might be thinking, that sounds very scary. Oh my word, what might they do?
One of the things again is for a leader to provide a safe
environment. I'm sorry, I think it thinks I'm talking to it.
No, okay, I don't know. Hopefully nothing's on in my computer.
It sounded like Cortana. I thought I was talking to her. Anyway, a
leader provides a safe environment and it also provides a safe
environment in order for people to be able to make mistakes. When I'm talking
about safe, that's one of the things I'm talking about. It's not just safety from
anything from the outside. It is safe to be able to try. Safe, it's allowing
people to,
there we go, sorry, turn off the computer. I'm hoping nothing's listening to me.
Provide them a safe environment in which to make mistakes
before they get outside of the umbrella of your protection.
It's not to enforce measures that,
well, how would you put it? It's not to stifle
the possibility of mistakes. Now, yes, anything that can
lead to extreme destruction, yes, absolutely. I
mean, that's part of the safe
environment in which you're providing for someone else, but you're also
providing them a safe environment in which to make mistakes.
and bear consequences that but in a safe place as opposed to bearing the type of
consequences that would happen if they had operated like that outside of your
in of your safe environment. Okay and so let me give you an example of how I had
to do this as a leader. So I had a I was I was managing a project of a team of
about 45 people and they it was what was referred to as an agile project in
other words it wasn't a traditional well they are throwing out all of these
business terms it wasn't a traditional waterfall project it was this is an agile
as an agile project and so meaning that everyone's opinion mattered. It did not
matter how high or low on the totem pole and the hierarchy of the project that a
person was. Every single person had some measure of an of a voice. It was very
very fascinating. The Lord taught me a lot through that process through
operating in a very large project in that way and so if everyone has a voice
and you're the manager you've got to really facilitate that. See why do
managers like to micromanage? Because they like control so that they can be
determined they can be assured that everything is going to work out in a
particular way. Same thing with our children. If we do this then we can be
assured that it's going we think that we can have control over the fact that we
will get a particular result that they will operate in a particular way that it
will result in X. So when I had to operate in the agile project in an agile
environment it began to teach me how to empower other people to make decisions
and how a leader provides a safe environment in order for them to make
mistakes. So here's here was my role and here's what I would do and here's how
actually I gained the the respect and of the team. So when I first started on
the team I was lowest man on the totem pole literally. I was a business analyst
on the project and everybody else is above me. Business analyst on the project
and in fact I was a long story but I I did not know what on earth I was doing
and I've been I've been a turnaround consultant for goodness sakes let alone
a business analyst. I've been a business analyst as well but this was like on a
totally different level. I'd never quite done it exactly the way that they were
doing it. I and I did not know what was going on. I was literally raked over the
coals publicly as as Ashley you have no idea what you're doing and you are
damaging this project. You are destroying other people's work etc etc. I'm going
what? It's just horrible. So I went up my my boss promoted me from lowest on the
totem pole to her position. So I am now leading the team of 45 people. So I'm
like oh my goodness. So you can see that especially if I was raked over the coals
as the lowest man in the totem pole by the time I got up here she just like
put me up there because she knew from my experience and she saw the way she saw
with my work ethic and the way that I made decisions she trusted me to be in
that position. So but I didn't I didn't have everyone else's respect so I'm now
in that position without my subordinates respect. 45 people for someone and so
okay okay Lauren I need some help here. Long story about what all went on but one
of the thing one of the ways that I because this went oh my word very long
project so but there's a lot to tell about this story but let me just reduce
it to this much. One of the things that I had to learn and that I had to I had to
learn how to handle is how to gain their respect because I didn't know how to do
it. I was very kind. I was always extremely helpful. I was always very
supportive but I was I was abused. My kindness was abused. I was working up
till like 12 30 at night up there and then would drive an hour home and then
be back at 7 you know the next day and anyway it was very very interesting and
and they would leave all their work for me. They would constantly they treated me
kind of like a secretary. They'd give everything to me and yet I'm I'm the
manager of the project so I thought okay Lord I don't understand how to gain
their respect so the Lord began to teach me how to do that.
So here's one of the ways that I did it. I provided them a support system in which I protected them
from people on the outside, including my own boss, that wanted them to do things,
I don't know, differently. And they had to operate a particular way. And so what I did is I put
myself in the gap between them and leadership of that, that included my boss, it included the VP,
it included everybody. And this was at FedEx, by the way. And so I put myself in the gap,
and I told everybody above me, if they did it, if they presented anything to me and said,
hey, Ashley, we want you to do, we want you to tell the team to do something different.
We want you to do, you know, we want you to change or whatever. If it was actually damaging
and destructive to the team and the way that they operated, I told them no. Even my own boss.
I know I didn't use that word, no. There's a diplomatic way to operate in corporate America.
But I told them no. I didn't say that word, but what I did explain was no.
And my team watched me do that. They watched the fact that I was willing to stand in the gap
and risk my own reputation, risk being fired, whatever, in order to protect them while
they were not respecting me, while I was being verbally abused all day every day. And that
is no exaggeration. You can ask anybody who worked with me. It was pretty bad. In fact,
I think it's a really fun story of redemption. But anyway, it was very extreme. And so that was
one of the things that gained their respect, but I had to do more. One of the other things that I
did is, and this is why I was telling you the story, is everyone is very, it was a very democratic
system. Everybody came up with their own ideas. So, but I had the last say. I had veto privilege
of any ideas that they came up with, but I wanted my people to feel empowered.
I wanted them to come up with really good ideas. I wanted the creative juices to flow because we
were better together than we were separate. They could come up with better ideas than I could,
and I needed, and I actually was responsible for giving them direction over things I had no idea
what they were talking about. I mean, these are guys who were building servers, you know, building
like cloud systems. And I'm like, I don't know what 50% of those words mean. You know, they had
to teach me all of that so I could actually give them instruction. And so I thought, you know what,
these people are very smart. They want to do a good job. See, that's the thing that we need to
understand about everybody that we encounter, including children. And I keep mentioning this
because I know y'all all have children, and also children are young, and sometimes we kind of put
them in a different category. No, no, it doesn't matter if they're two years old or, you know, or
whatever. Or, you know, you know, teenagers or adults or whatever. Every, you know, it,
they're all, we're all human souls, right? And everyone needs to feel, everyone needs to feel
empowered. Everyone needs to feel like supported, that they make good, that they make good decisions.
So what I did is I realized, okay, everyone has, everyone has a contribution, and I need them to
know that they have a contribution. I need them to not, they, everybody wants,
even children, everybody wants to do the right thing. Everybody wants to,
everyone wants to contribute and have, have a significant contribution. Everybody wants to
come up with a good idea. People want to do well in their jobs. They want to make a difference.
It's more important to them than time off or money. To know that you're making a difference
in people's lives. I have yet to talk to a single person that money was their most important object
when it came right down to it. Or time off. It was always the fact that it was always,
it always went back to significance in some way. And they would take less pay and fewer,
few hours, fewer hours time off. And they would work longer and harder and happier if they felt
that they had significance. If they felt that their decisions and their, their ideas and their
contributions were being valued. So I knew I had to foster that. No, no, everybody does. Oh my word,
it's the basic aspect of humanity. And it's the search for significance. So if, so the way that
you can win people over and give them what it is that they need is you can empower.
their their understanding that they actually are significant that they make
good decisions so I knew I had to foster that and I thought Lord how do I do this
because if they mess up I'm their leader what am I gonna do you know my upline
it's gonna come to me and what do I do do I do I prevent the mistake from
happening by always vetoing something that I fear or again this is FedEx
corporation this is big-time this isn't some little company or it's just a
deal and my project was being reported which very very very few projects are I
mean you have to be a huge project a huge project to be presented to Fred
Smith who is the founder of FedEx who is who founded a company that is now almost
half a million people you have to be big-time our project with only 45
people out of half a million only 45 people was being reported to Fred Smith
I'm thinking Lord what do I do in this situation what if my people make a
mistake what if they mess up they were messing up a project with FedEx you know
people are gonna come and people are gonna think it was my idea Lord Lord what
do I do what how do I handle this situation and yet make them feel
empowered and the Lord said I'll give them a safe environment in which to in
which they know that it is safe to make mistakes like okay so that's what I did
and here's how I provided the environment I'd have them prove to me
that their idea was good you know by logic they didn't have to necessarily
prove it by going back and doing numbers and then I would watch them I knew these
people very well very well I mean we worked very tight together in fact we
still kind of feel like family it's really interesting and so I would I would
just sit in one conversation with them a lot of times okay what do you think
about this and I would just drill them on their idea because I'm thinking I
don't know about all of this and then I would I would I would just kind of
figure out okay they're risking their reputation in my eyes by saying that
they believe that this idea contrary to mine is a good one and so I tell them
you really believe that this will work they said yes we do and I said okay
that's what we'll do and I don't even believe that that'll work but I wanted
to empower him so I said okay then that's what we'll do sometimes a lot of
in fact the majority of the time it worked but here's the thing what about
when it didn't work when it didn't work I took the heat and I never told my
upline or you know my you know my people above me my leadership I didn't
tell them whose idea it was and that it was their ideas and not and there it was
their idea and not mine I took full responsibility for it full they never
knew that it was the team's idea they never knew that someone else came with
it came up with it and that I didn't agree with it they didn't know that I
didn't agree with it and I took the heat for it that gained their respect
because they saw that I supported them more than the project and I supported
them more than myself that I sacrificed myself for them and God showed me
through things like that through having to listen to the Spirit in those moments
oh my word this is how you be a leader you provide a space for people to be
messy you're not providing a space in which every in which you're trying to
control it and making sure that everything works just this just a
particular way you're providing space for people to be messy no one's trying
to be messy no one's trying to be destructive everyone's trying to do it
the right way we just all disagree on how it should be done but they need to
be supported for who it is that they are not whether regardless of whether
you think that theirs is a good decision or not they need to be supported as
themselves and now again we're not talking about anything that's extremely
destructive like if the child wants to go play it with a knife and we're not
we're not talking about that so I'm again you know you can understand how to
apply all of these things in your various areas of life you take it for
the Lord and and and ask him I'm talking about things from a very high
level very broad brushstrokes and I just used this the my particular business
situation as an example but anyway if the leader provides a space for other
people to safely feel supported and discover who it is that they are and a
lot in and I can guarantee you that everybody who comes to you everybody has
not grown up in a home
or in some kind of an environment where they felt fully supported to be able to
make mistakes. In other words, to try something because they thought it was
right and for it to be okay if they were wrong and that they were still protected
in the middle of that situation. It doesn't mean that they don't
bear the consequences. They can still bear the consequences, but you're there
before the consequences and you're there with them during the consequences that
they're having to bear. It's not keeping consequences from them. That's not what I
mean when I talk about or when I'm talking about providing a safe
environment for them to make mistakes, but it's allowing the
consequences to not be as destructive in their lives as it would be and for
them to be in isolation and abandonment as they would be if they were outside
your environment. You have the opportunity to create that type of
environment for someone where it is safe for them to be. It's safe for
them to make mistakes. It's safe for them to show their true self and to
be vulnerable and to be genuine. It's providing a safe environment for
someone to finally open up and be real and voice their opinion and be seen and
be heard and not be judged. It doesn't mean they have to agree with it, but to not be
judged for it and to know that they're supported for who they are regardless
of whether or not you agree with it. That if that's what they want to do and if
that's what they think is going to be good for their business or good
for their life or whatever, that you support them and who they are. Everyone's
trying to do the right thing. We all just disagree on what we think that
the right thing is for ourselves or for other people. We need to give people
the space to, I always just think of it as the space to be messy, to play. Children
play. When you watch children, they play and they do the strangest things.
You're thinking, yeah, but that's not how you play with that.
An elephant, they're playing with like a stuffed elephant or something
like that and they're putting doll clothes on it. No, no, no, you don't do
that. You don't do that. You know, animals don't wear clothes. No, they're
exploring their world. They're trying. So it's that kind of a thing. If it works
like that for children, why do we think that it doesn't work like that is an
adult? In other areas, you're just trying. In business, you're trying different
ideas. Have grace for yourself. God provides a safe environment for you in
order to have a playground, in order to enjoy the journey and just
play on the playground. He provides that safe environment for you. So even if you
don't have someone who's providing an environment for you the way that I'm
describing for you, you'd have an environment for them. God provides that
for you. He never leaves us in a place of abandonment and lack. Just
like God will do for us, we're intended to do for others. The fact that we
also help them by doing what we can, especially if you've got like
children or something like that where you have a bit of a bit of control,
prevent anything from happening that would be too destructive. God does the
same thing for us. He provides us with an ability to play in the playground, but if
we start testing the boundaries too much, he's like, uh-uh.
He doesn't really come down hard on us, but he does
just what he has to do to knock us into, oh yeah, I shouldn't do that.
We do the same thing, obviously, for our children. If a child
is about to stick their finger in the light socket, we don't just
talk to him very gently and say, please don't do that. You know what, that's
really not a good idea. What do you do? You go snatch him away, you know, just
really fast. You do what you have to do when something is going to be too
destructive, but you're trying to save them. But we don't control every
aspect of what it is that they're doing, just like God doesn't control. He allows
us to play and to mess with stuff and explore our world. We're supposed
to govern it anyway. We're supposed to govern it. How on earth can we expect to
govern it if we don't explore it and we don't understand it and we don't
understand all of its inner workings? It's ours. We own it. We get to play with it.
Anyway, let me see if there is something else that I didn't explain. So, yeah, so
in being able to hold space for other people, even if they're even and
especially if they're struggling with their brokenness, it is, yeah, there's
more that I could say about all of that, but in holding space for them, remember
that it requires that there's, it's going to be messy as they shift and as they
transition in things. So, we can have approval for our children when they're
young and we can provide them with this, if we can understand how to provide a
safe environment. I'm talking about, you know, transition. It doesn't have to be
children, but children's easier for us to talk about in this, in this instance. Say,
for instance, you know, we can give, we can give understanding and approval for
our children to be messy in their play and in their decision-making and then
they're trying and they're kind of exploring things, they're trying to figure
things out. No one's trying to do anything to hurt themselves, you know,
whatever. We can do that, but then we have a very difficult time as they get older,
getting, as they get older, understanding how to provide approval in a new way.
Providing, how do you now provide approval and a space for them to be
messy as a teenager? Not the same kind of messy that was okay when they were a
child, but still a teenager version of messy that's not too destructive, but how
do you provide approval there? And then, how do you provide approval for those
same, for those same children? And again, I'm just using children as an example,
but it's the same if you're working with anybody else and they're working through
a transition in which they're learning how to operate differently. That, how do
you now provide approval to adult children? Everything is going to go
through, you know, there's, it's a different type of approval and yet it's
still approval. How do you provide approval or how do you provide space for
people to be messy? Not that they're trying to be messy, but in exploring
their world, trying to do the thing, to the right thing, expand their boundaries,
learning the world, exploring the world, learning about it so that they can
eventually govern it. How do you now do that for them now that they are adults?
Every phase is different and yet every phase requires holding space for them to
be messy while still offering them support and approval. It just now looks
different and for us as the leaders, that type of transition is, is, is a bit
challenging, but that's what we're called to do. Same thing for customers, same
thing as the customers go through phases or as your team members go through
phases and go through transitions of maturing in their, in their art or in
their industry or whatever. It's whole, it's learning to, learning to mature the
space that you hold for them and to allow them to become and develop into
the person that God intends them to be and the journey doesn't always look
pretty. It's not always, doesn't always have no mistakes in it. It's always gonna
have mistakes, but you hold, hold space for them and, and provide the
opportunity for them to do it because other people provide emotional space for
them if needed and which really emotional and spiritual space for them
to do it because you're seeing them for who it is that they truly are, not for
the brokenness that they're in which they're presenting themselves and
they're trying new things and whatever. Hold space for them and give them an
environment in order for them to be emotionally safe from abandonment as
they learn more about the world that God created that them to govern and more
about themselves as they're exploring themselves, as they're trying to
understand themselves just as God provides the same space for us. So I know
it was a bit of a longer one. I had no idea what time it is. I think it's 1015.
So I started it... I'll say it's 1015. Wow! I think it's been gone. Maybe I've been
talking for about two hours, 15 minutes. My goodness, it's a bit of a longer one. You
could tell I'm very passionate about this subject. So I hope this was
helpful and, and I enjoyed that this was our, that of all topics, this is the
one that we would end on. I guess that's why it was two hours because I'm like, oh
my word, there's so much to pack into this last one, but we'll continue to
talk about some new subjects as we go along. Always love being with y'all and
always reach out if y'all have any questions. I'll look forward to...
more private sessions with y'all and I hope y'all have a good night. Bye!