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We'll go ahead and get started on the last session about goals, dreams and visions, promises.

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So, we'll be talking about not just the promises, you know, that God has made us and dreams

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that he's just given us, but actually also dreams that we dream, how to dream and how

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to start desiring again.

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Talking about, excuse me, things related to like the desires of our heart, etc.

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Okay, and dreams and goals could include things like, you know, business, your ideals for

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your marriage, your ideals for your children, things like that.

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Now, if I can figure it out, for one thing, it's important for us to, well, let me start

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with this one first because I would like to make a point with the other one that I think

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would help provide a bit of comfort.

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I was pushing the wrong way, I should have pulled, not pushed.

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Okay, so when we are dreaming or, you know, when God, let's start out with when God gives

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us a goal.

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God gives us a goal, we have a goal, you know, whatever.

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God gives us a goal, he gives us a dream, a vision.

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So, let's just put, let's see, so here's you and here is this thing, this goal, this vision,

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dream that you believe, we'll make it simple, we'll say you believe God gave you that one

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and maybe he actually did.

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So, I'm not denying that fact.

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But this goal, dream, vision, idea, promise, God has spoken to you and made a promise,

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whatever.

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So, what is the purpose of this thing?

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We'll talk about promises in a minute because that one's a very, with that one we're going

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to make a very important point.

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So, let's just focus on goals, dreams, and visions right now.

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When we have something like that, we like that because we want to know, it makes us,

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our understanding of what's coming in the future is where we're trying to get our sense

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of safety from.

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And God wants to break us at that.

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In other words, he wants us to get our safety from him.

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That's when we can finally start to safely desire things and whatever and it not actually

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be destructive to us.

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But we have this, we're always wanting a goal, a dream, a vision.

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Say God gives us one and so we're like, okay, this is great.

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This is just what I want.

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God's given me a goal for my business.

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And I, and what we don't realize that we do is when God tells us something, we add all

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kinds of assumptions to it.

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We don't realize that we're making.

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We assume that all that God has to say is one thing and all of the sudden we make all

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these assumptions that, oh, well, if he said this, it obviously also means this and this

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and this.

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And my experience tells me that it also means this and this and this.

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We don't realize how many things we are adding to God's word.

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Remember how he said, his word is very important.

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His word is how he's expressing himself.

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He says, do not add or take away from my words.

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We don't realize that when God tells us one thing, we've made all kinds of assumptions

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about it.

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But we have this dream or this vision in mind and what has often happened for us and which

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makes us very disappointed and wondering, God, why haven't you fulfilled this thing

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yet, is we've assumed in our mind what it's supposed to look like when it manifests.

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What we don't realize is God didn't tell us what it was supposed to look like.

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Even if he gave you a dream and you actually see it, very often what he's doing is he's

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giving us something like a picture.

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He's giving us something that it represents.

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Or it is a picture of the real thing, but it's not the full picture.

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We've decided it looks exactly like that.

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If we had known that it was actually a picture

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within a larger picture,

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if we had known the larger picture,

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we'd realize, actually, that picture that God showed me,

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actually, you know, now once we finally get

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to the goal, the destination, the vision,

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we actually see it manifest,

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all of a sudden, excuse me,

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all of a sudden we realize, wait a minute,

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now seeing the bigger picture,

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that makes the original vision that I saw

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look totally different and mean something

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totally different than what I thought.

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Whenever God gives us a goal or a dream,

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we need to hold it very loosely.

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God is not only the giver of his word,

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he's also the interpreter of it.

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So he gets to tell us what it looks like.

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So it's very important that when we see goal,

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dream, or vision, that we hold it loosely.

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Why, we'll be talking about in just a second.

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But the purpose of God giving us,

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there's a couple of different purposes,

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the other purposes we'll talk about in a second.

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Right now we're gonna talk about one of the purposes

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for which it's important God gives us a goal, a vision,

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and another reason why if you go to a business conference

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and they're talking about the importance

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of having a goal and it's very vital to your business,

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why is that actually of a biblical principle?

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Why is that a law that actually is an operation?

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What is the purpose of it?

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What is that principle allowing to happen?

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What it's doing, the purpose of a goal or a vision

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is to give you a direction in which to start.

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Because otherwise, if you have no goal, where are you going?

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Lord, do you want me to go here?

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Do you want me to go here?

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Do you want me to go here?

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Do you want me to go here?

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I have an infinite number of possibilities.

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I feel lost and it makes me very insecure, very unsafe.

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So God's like, hey, you know what?

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The whole, when you're traveling through life,

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what does that mean?

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That means that you and I are developing,

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you and I are developing a relationship

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and that is what it is that we're doing.

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When you're living,

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you're developing a relationship with me.

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You're not passing life's milestones.

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Living life is not passing life's milestones.

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Living life is developing your relationship with the Lord

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and manifesting it as you go.

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So when God gives us a goal or a vision,

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it just gives us a direction of like,

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hey, we're gonna start to develop

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yours and my relationship in this direction.

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The whole point of a goal and a vision

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is to give you a direction in which to start,

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but it doesn't mean that we're gonna walk all the way there.

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Doesn't mean that this is actually

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what the end destination exactly looks like.

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He's given us a goal or a vision.

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We thought, oh, it means this and it looks like this

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and we put it here.

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God didn't give us this, God gave us word.

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He gave us the goal or a vision

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and then we interpreted it as, oh, this must mean this

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and then he gives us a direction, we're like, okay,

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now I'm gonna start planning my trajectory here.

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And this is what people who speak to the law of attraction,

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this is how it is that they believe that we should operate.

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That we, that in order to actually get a goal,

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because they say it's very, very important,

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get a dream, get a goal, get a visual,

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visualize it, smell it, see it, taste it, touch it,

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start acting like it,

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that they're calling it into being, right?

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Well, they're trying to get it to manifest

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by the tree of the knowledge of good and evil,

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the source of which is man and they're trying to,

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and so they're trying to drum up man's intention

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and desire and will, which is a very good thing,

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and they're trying to make it more and more powerful

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and use it as the force in which to manifest something,

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which it does, but it brings forth death

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because the source of it within us,

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because we're operating according to the law,

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the law, when we come in contact with it,

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brings death within us and that's all we have to give.

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So, but the law of attraction is telling us,

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or, and then we also put a godly term on it,

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and if we follow a particular path towards a goal

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that we believe that God said

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it was supposed to look like this.

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Remember, I didn't say God said it looked like that,

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we believe that God said it looked like that.

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And so we're holding very solid and sure to it

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and we're like, God says in the Bible

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I'm supposed to be steadfast,

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that I'm not supposed to be unwavering in my faith.

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And we interpret it to mean that we're supposed to,

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that we're supposed to be very rigid.

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trajectory and God is holding us accountable to be very rigid no matter

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the force of this circumstances that are cut and the opportunities that are

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coming at us that we think are enemies trying to thwart us and knock us off the

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path that's very often the Holy Spirit that's that we're being hit with and

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we're calling it Satan so so we're like no no because God said and again we've

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we don't understand no God what we're supposed to be holding on to is God's

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work is God's Word and what it is that we've attached ourself to wasn't God's

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Word we can hold on to God's Word in a steadfast way but he also gets to

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interpret it and reveal to us what it looks like we don't have to make it

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happen so what it is that we're holding steadfast to will be expanding on this

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in a second what we're holding on steadfast to and unwavering to is God

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the giver of the dream the giver of the promise not what he not the promise

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that he declared because God's point in giving us a gift is not to take our eyes

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off the giver it just it so if it's causing us to take our eyes off the

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giver then something's something's really something's really wrong anyway

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back to what I was talking about the law of attraction that we sometimes use in

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terms of like golly terms of like I mean steadfast and consistent and I'm not

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allowing myself to be wavered about the path and and but waver from the path and

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no matter all of these terrible obstacles and hindrances that Satan is

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throwing against me I'm not going to move what what the what it is that we're

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doing here is do you and are we drawing the connection to what we talked about

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yesterday we've become rigid what happens with what what is part of

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rigidity rigidity is death because spirit is always moving so rigidity

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we've we've we've we call it again we take something that we're doing and we

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put a godly label on it and it called steadfast and saying that God's approves

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of this and this is what he's saying no no steadfast is talking about something

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totally different saying steadfast and unwavering in the object of our faith

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not the object of our faith that's the steadfastness steadfastness doesn't mean

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we get rigid about something like something like this but the law of

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attraction says no the only way you can actually get to that goal is like I said

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earlier you know you know oh feel and smell it and make it real and and you

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have to go through actually a lot of work a lot of intention they spent time

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in meditation in other words you know sitting in sitting sitting in quiet

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focusing focusing their intention they have become very good at focusing their

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intention because it's the intention of man that can start manifesting things

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even from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil but again it's bringing

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forth death God calls us to use our intention that God giving gift he gave

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us to operate from the spirit of life but anyway the law of attraction does

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work because it is a principle principle of God that man has the

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authority to to to intend something and creation will respond if he is very sure

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about his intention so in the law of attraction they're working really really

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hard to make sure they're to practice the the unwaveringness of their

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intention but the problem is that it's actually it's actually rigid and

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so instead we don't want to do that so the whole point of a goal or vision like

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what we talked about earlier is to give us a direction a direction not of what

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to do next and so God's giving me the next instruction mm-hmm God said no no

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now you know the direction in which I want us to turn and now our relationship

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is going to start developing this way so but it's not something that he's he's

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given you that you now have been given the assignment to go do to leave God and

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go to God's I know this is the direction in which the two of us are gonna start

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you know developing our relationship so when God when you have a goal or a

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vision whether I'm not trying to muddy the water so hopefully you'll be able to

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separate this just a bit whether God gave us the goal or the vision or we're

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talking in a in a way such as in well you know I went to a business course and

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they told me that one of the tips tricks and strategies that which is a

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tool and a strategy that God himself created in that God you in that and God

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allows us to use he just doesn't want us to use it as this as our source but we

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are allowed to use well I learned that one of the strategies is but it's very

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healthy for a business to have a goal so I'm going to create a goal create a goal

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that's going to give you direction for it for and to how to

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start. God can't move your parked car. Move. Life is in movement, not in standing there

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waiting for God to say something. Life is in movement and He'll direct and guide

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because He's in constantly in motion, it's of His nature, so you're

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constantly in motion and as you go, you know, He'll guide you and the two of you

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will do it together. So when you create a goal that is great and that's fun, you

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now have a trajectory. The whole point of the goal, give you a direction, as soon

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as you've got your direction, forget about the goal. Forget about the goal. And

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when I say forget, I don't literally mean, I don't mean mentally forget about it.

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You can kind of, you know, be aware of it and be like, oh, there it is. My point in

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saying forget about it is to kind of, a little bit of shock value, is to help us

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to understand the seriousness in which we need to release ownership, as opposed

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to starting to hold God accountable. That's one of the things about promises.

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Promises are so very precious from the Lord and He doesn't want to give us a

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promise that something's gonna happen and we now use that as a weapon against

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Him of why we don't believe that He is who He says that He is, because it hasn't

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happened yet. It's taking something, a good gift from God and using it to hurt

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Him. So we don't want to do that. Anyway, release your ownership of it. If we've

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owned something and we think that, and we're holding God accountable to it, then

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it means that we have, well, it, you know, then it means that we've owned it. It

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means that we're tightening our grip. That brings death. So we, so that's what I

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mean when I say you forget about it. You just get a direction and then you start

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in that direction and then what ends up happening is different opportunities

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will come along. You and the Lord will start deciding something, start

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deciding things. Okay, well let's, you know, we're moving along and all of a

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sudden this thing comes along. So you ask the Lord, okay Lord, you know, is, because

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obstacles can be thrown in my path, so do we want to continue to move through

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this obstacle because we're spirit and we can and it's not more powerful

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than we are. We have no reason to feel threatened. Do we want to move through

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the obstacle or I'm, we're doing this together. I'm not doing it, doing it

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believing. You've given me assignment and I'm abandoning it alone to try to

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figure out how to get it accomplished. We're doing it together, so I'm doing it

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together. I'm in my Father's heart and now that I'm in my Father's heart, I can

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sense, Lord is that you? Is, are you mentioning, are you suggesting to me

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that we kind of make a slight left turn because it would be fun, because it would

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actually make it much more colorful, because we, because actually if we do a

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slight, a slight left turn, the end goal is actually going to look eventually

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like you said that it would, but we're doing it together, meaning that I have a

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valuable contribution that I'm making along the way that's going to contribute

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to what the end result eventually looks like, because it's going to have my seed

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of belief in it, partnering with the Lord, but he initiated, he initiated the idea

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first. Are we, you know, is that what it is that we want to do? Do we want to, do

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we, do we want to change? We decided we wanted to do this, Lord. Do we want to

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change our original decision? God changes his decisions. Moses, he went to Moses

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and he said, Moses, stand out of the way. I've got to wipe out the Israelites, and

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then Moses stood in the gap and he said, God, please no. It said God repented. God

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said, okay, I've changed my mind. I won't do that. You made me change my mind. Why

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was God's mind changed in a good way? Because he said, Moses, that's what I

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would have done. You look like your father. You look like me. You've

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been raised to the point where you're more of a mature son, where your

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contribution to the council, you and me talking together, what is it that we want

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to do? Your contribution to the council is so mature that you're looking like me.

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Therefore, I feel safe with you to confer with you. It says that she, that God

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conferred with and met Moses face to face like he would a friend, and he had

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been raised to maturity to that point that God's like, you're right, and I'm

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gonna make, I'm gonna change my mind, not because my original idea wasn't like me,

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but you have a contributing decision. I like being affected by you because then

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we get to

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do it together, and what you're suggesting allows me,

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and me operating according to how you suggest,

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allows me to still be me, because that is what I would do.

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So God changes his mind.

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It also said that about Nineveh,

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and those were that he went and he told Jonah,

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he said, tell the Ninevites what's gonna happen,

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and he did, but then I'm gonna wipe them all out,

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and da, da, da, God is not a liar,

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and he said, tell them I am going to wipe them all out.

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And so Jonah's like, God said,

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he'd already run away from God,

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and God gotten really onto him about that,

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so he's like, you don't mess with the Lord.

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If he says it, you follow it, and you do it.

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So he goes, and he feels like he's been made a fool of,

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because they repented, and then what God said,

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and what he had declared didn't happen.

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It makes a prophet feel like a fool,

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and he's very mad at God,

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and he was mad at God for changing his mind,

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but why did God change his mind?

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Because God was acting like God.

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It was like, you know what, this is of my character

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to tell them, you need to repent and change,

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and if you don't, I will bring destruction.

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That it was of the nature of God,

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but when they repented, what is also,

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and they appealed to him,

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what is also of the nature of God, love.

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Love triumphs over judgment.

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Everything about God's character is subject to love.

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How he manifests what that love looks like is up to him,

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but he does subject all of his character to love,

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and so it says, God repented.

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It uses that word.

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What that means is God stopped doing that,

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and turned the other way,

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and started doing something very different.

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So God changes his mind.

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He allows us to be affected by him,

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so it's okay if the two of you

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start in a particular direction,

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and then the two of you decide along the journey,

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you know what, let's do it a little different.

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That's fine.

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That's fine.

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The two of you are deciding together,

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you're gonna make it better,

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because remember, the whole point

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isn't getting to it anyway.

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The whole point is that you're developing a relationship.

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That's the whole point,

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and you deciding together

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that you're gonna turn slightly to the left

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is a relationship.

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You conferred, you counseled together,

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each one has a say, they listen to the other,

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each one of them felt heard, they felt valued.

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You know, it's a very, very good thing.

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So we need to hold everything very, very loosely.

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So we just head off in this direction,

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and then we change, and then we change,

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and however, how many other people's lives feel like this?

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And then we change, and then we do this,

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and then we somehow end up over here,

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and then God, and then our spiritual eyes,

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so to speak, are opened, and God reveals to us,

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you remember that vision I gave you?

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This is what it actually looks like.

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Oh my word, God.

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I would have never, I would have never imagined

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and pictured in my mind that happening.

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Man, the love and goodness of your character

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in this revelation, in this goal,

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in this dream to which we've reached,

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because it's not a dead end, we keep going from there,

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because the point of the journey is not the goal,

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the point of the journey is the journey.

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But anyway, just like, oh my goodness,

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well, this place that we have come to is amazing,

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and I wouldn't have been able to predict this.

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And it reveals, Lord, more of your love and your goodness

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that you and I together are manifesting

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of what we share between us, the love we share between us,

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that the shared DNA of goodness

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that is to such a full extent that is consistent,

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that is constantly for eternity ever-expanding,

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we're seeing the aspect of that relationship

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that we have matured together thus far

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finally made manifest in visible

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and physical form in creation.

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This is amazing, I couldn't have predicted this,

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I couldn't, and then a lot of times we say,

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God, I couldn't have even imagined it,

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and God's like, exactly, you remember that picture

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that I gave you, you know, a while ago?

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He said, that is the only, that was the closest picture

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I could give you of what the end result looked like,

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because you didn't at the time of the development

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of our relationship, way back then,

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didn't have a grid to be able to consume or understand this.

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We didn't have a grid for it.

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So God gave us the closest thing he could.

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that, you know, that we would understand based on our maturity, based on our age.

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Think of it like this, so in Revelation, there's different ways that, you know,

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you can take Revelation, but personally, but regardless, think of it,

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at least consider this idea because I do believe that this is baked into Revelation

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and I think that, you know, most people would agree with it

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and considering this is, these are the words that are written in the English language

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in the book of Revelation, that think about the fact of John being taken up, it said.

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John was taken up into heaven and he saw things, but remember that the things

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on earth are just types and shadows of what appears in the heaven.

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It doesn't look exactly like this in heaven.

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When God talks about a throne in heaven, it doesn't, it doesn't have to obey the laws

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of physics in order to have a seat that's here and a back that's here and arms that's here.

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Who knows what a throne looks like?

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Who knows what a throne looks like?

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We just have an idea of it here on earth and God said, hey, a throne, you know a throne?

399
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Yeah, he said, that's what I sit on in heaven.

400
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Well, this is just a type and a shadow of an idea.

401
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Who knows what the actual thing looks like?

402
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This is just the closest idea that we've got.

403
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But, so he gives us a picture according to what it is that we can consume according

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to how far that we've matured thus far.

405
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So, it is in Revelation, you remember when John was taken up and he's seeing all these things,

406
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he's constantly saying things like, it looks like and it was as if and the, you know,

407
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the leopard came up out and a beast came, a beast that looked like a leopard came,

408
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I'm not, I'm paraphrasing here, but the idea is basically some beast

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and it looked like a leopard, he describes it as a leopard, came up out of the sea.

410
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Okay, so it mentions this in, mentions this in Revelation 4 and then it mentions this

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in Daniel, but both of them are talking about the fact that there's a, that there's a, you know,

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beast comes up out of the sea and then in one of them, either Daniel or Revelation,

413
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the way that it describes it as, it says, he had feet as like a, I think it was feet as a,

414
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like a lion, sorry, feet like a, like a bear and a mouth like a lion or something

415
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like that or as a lion or as a bear.

416
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In other words, he didn't say he had a lion's mouth and bear's feet, it was as and it was like,

417
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in other words, we don't have a grid for what it is that he saw and he's trying to figure

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out how to articulate it in this world when we don't have a way to, for he didn't have a way

419
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to articulate something that was very otherworldly.

420
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So, same thing, when God's trying to talk to us about goals or visions, there's only so much

421
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that we consume based on the point of, to which our relationship with them had developed.

422
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It'll develop, by the time that it has developed over the journey to where we finally, you know,

423
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get to see a particular goal or destination manifest, goal or vision manifest,

424
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we now, due to the journey that we took in the development of our relationship,

425
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now actually have a grid to not only consume, but actually be a king here.

426
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So, anyway, that's why, that's, will hopefully give you some, a bit of grounding or a way

427
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to articulate for yourself what's actually going on as opposed to, God, this thing isn't happening.

428
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Why? And we're throwing accusation at him.

429
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He's like, so, that development of relationship, you can't understand everything

430
00:28:54.120 --> 00:28:58.420
that I'm trying to tell you, that I want to tell you right now, but I'm trying to mature you

431
00:28:58.420 --> 00:29:02.880
in the development of your relationship with me so that I finally can talk to you like that.

432
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But right now, I can't talk to you like that because you won't understand.

433
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So, but eventually you will, and that's what I'm doing.

434
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I'm teaching you new languages.

435
00:29:14.220 --> 00:29:17.640
I'm exposing you to new colors.

436
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Remember how people say that they have, you know, like that lady that I said had seen her soul

437
00:29:26.740 --> 00:29:29.900
and she said, there are colors in there that I've never seen before.

438
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They don't exist on earth.

439
00:29:31.300 --> 00:29:35.280
I've heard that repeatedly from people that say, you know, that they've been to heaven.

440
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Like, for instance, you know, the little boy who wrote, who was in the book, you know,

441
00:29:39.000 --> 00:29:45.220
Heaven is for Real and things like that, in the little, I never know how to pronounce her name.

442
00:29:45.400 --> 00:29:47.260
Akine or whatever.

443
00:29:47.800 --> 00:29:48.080
Uh-huh.

444
00:29:48.320 --> 00:29:49.860
Akiana. Akiana, thank you.

445
00:29:49.860 --> 00:29:53.980
I don't know why I never, I always struggle trying to remember how you actually pronounce it.

446
00:29:53.980 --> 00:29:56.420
I can see it because I'm so visual, but how do you pronounce it?

447
00:29:56.760 --> 00:29:59.220
So, Akiana, you know, and the picture, you know, that she.

448
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of Jesus, and then the pictures that she paints of other things. And they have all said that

449
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when they go to heaven, they said, there are colors we don't have here. They don't have

450
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a grid to be able to tell someone what it looks like, except to be able to say, well,

451
00:30:18.360 --> 00:30:23.720
it's kind of like green with a little bit of blue, but then it sparkles, except when

452
00:30:23.720 --> 00:30:29.960
this happens, and then it turns into a raindrop. You're going, what? I mean, they're just

453
00:30:29.960 --> 00:30:35.640
like, I don't know. It's the best that I can do. It's like we're just going, that's mixing

454
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two, that's mixing different things that don't mix here on earth. They're like, I know, that's

455
00:30:39.560 --> 00:30:46.400
why we exist in heaven. So there's things that we just don't have a grid for. I wanted

456
00:30:46.400 --> 00:30:54.240
to belabor this point to help us realize and recognize the accusations that we're having

457
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against the Lord, and you're free from having to, you're free from making those accusations.

458
00:31:03.120 --> 00:31:10.040
You're not obligated to figure it all out and to understand it all. God holds you accountable

459
00:31:10.040 --> 00:31:20.400
for receiving his word, not understanding it. He interprets it. He reveals it. And yes,

460
00:31:20.400 --> 00:31:24.800
you will receive understanding, but you'll receive understanding in the development of

461
00:31:24.800 --> 00:31:31.560
a relationship. You are not held responsible being given a word, feeling abandoned by God,

462
00:31:31.560 --> 00:31:35.640
where God's over you like a schoolmaster, not in union with you, but as a schoolmaster

463
00:31:35.640 --> 00:31:40.640
going, okay, now figure it out. You know better than this. What have I taught you thus far?

464
00:31:40.640 --> 00:31:45.200
God's like, no, no, no, I'll interpret it for you, but I do want you to receive it without

465
00:31:45.200 --> 00:31:50.360
proof and part of the proof that we require before receiving something from the Lord is

466
00:31:50.360 --> 00:31:56.640
understanding. And if we don't understand, we use that as accusation against God of why

467
00:31:56.640 --> 00:32:02.080
we can't believe it. So, anyway, you know, we were talking about, we were talking about

468
00:32:02.080 --> 00:32:18.600
proof the other day. So, I wanted to, let's see here, what have I not mentioned? Another

469
00:32:18.600 --> 00:32:23.320
thing I just want to throw in here real quick that, you know, in this journey, that the

470
00:32:23.320 --> 00:32:27.640
whole point is the journey. The whole point is the development of the relationship. It's

471
00:32:27.640 --> 00:32:31.600
not a destination. We're not trying to get somewhere. We already, where we're trying

472
00:32:31.600 --> 00:32:36.680
to get, we're on the journey. God's just like, develop relationship with me. Keep your eyes

473
00:32:36.680 --> 00:32:42.120
on me. Seek ye first the kingdom of God. This is it. And then let's see what happens as

474
00:32:42.120 --> 00:32:47.360
a result of you doing this. Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all these things will

475
00:32:47.360 --> 00:32:59.200
be added unto you. It manifests from that thing. Oh, yeah. So, remember that with God,

476
00:32:59.200 --> 00:33:05.000
there's no past, present, and future. Past, present, and future is a reference to time,

477
00:33:05.000 --> 00:33:11.120
which is creation. And God doesn't exist within creation. In other words, subject to creation.

478
00:33:11.120 --> 00:33:16.960
Subject is held together by God. Creation is within God. God's not within creation.

479
00:33:16.960 --> 00:33:21.160
I mean, yeah, you can find God within creation, but my point is that creation is within God,

480
00:33:21.160 --> 00:33:26.160
so to speak. I don't mean that it's one, I'm not talking about, you know, one with God,

481
00:33:26.160 --> 00:33:38.240
like, anyway. So, I won't get into that, into that one. But my point is that God is outside

482
00:33:38.240 --> 00:33:47.880
of time. So, while he has been and is currently in the creation time of past, present, and

483
00:33:47.880 --> 00:33:59.080
future, so to speak, he doesn't exist in past, present, or future. He exists in the now.

484
00:33:59.080 --> 00:34:08.280
Now spelled capital N, capital O, capital W. He exists in something called the now.

485
00:34:08.280 --> 00:34:15.920
It's just now. It's always now. And time exists within now. All of time, from the beginning

486
00:34:15.920 --> 00:34:21.159
of time to the end of time, time exists within, which is in this place where God exists, which

487
00:34:21.159 --> 00:34:27.280
is the now. And so, if we're in God, we're in the now. The reason I wanted to talk about

488
00:34:27.280 --> 00:34:33.840
that is that when we're taking a journey, we're constantly calculating the time, or

489
00:34:33.840 --> 00:34:40.639
we're calculating, we're trying to measure progress. Okay, so God gave me the first step.

490
00:34:40.639 --> 00:34:45.480
Well, God, when are you going to give me the second step? I'm staying here, and I'm waiting

491
00:34:45.480 --> 00:34:50.600
for you. We're going to do this together. What's the second step? We're thinking in

492
00:34:50.600 --> 00:34:56.360
terms of, like, progression and time and whatever, and while we exist within time, and then there's

493
00:34:56.360 --> 00:35:00.040
nothing wrong with that, the problem is we're using it in accusation again.

494
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:07.260
God. And that's an issue. And God's just like, no, no, no. Your travel, your journey,

495
00:35:07.260 --> 00:35:11.240
your being in this place that you've decided to call step one, and then you being in this

496
00:35:11.240 --> 00:35:15.420
place that you've decided to call step two, both of these places are a place that it's

497
00:35:15.420 --> 00:35:21.000
just, it's wherever it is that we are. So all that exists is wherever it is that we

498
00:35:21.000 --> 00:35:28.720
are. I exist in the now and you exist in me, therefore you exist in the now.

499
00:35:28.720 --> 00:35:37.360
So don't use time, I urge us, as an accusation against God. All of these things, by the way,

500
00:35:37.360 --> 00:35:44.440
that I'm speaking are not meant to condemn us of like, where I'm saying, oh, we don't

501
00:35:44.440 --> 00:35:52.240
need to do this and we need to watch ourselves and make sure of this, that, and the other.

502
00:35:52.240 --> 00:35:58.720
My point is that while we don't need to see it as, we don't need to be seeing it as condemning,

503
00:35:58.720 --> 00:36:06.640
what we need to be seeing it as is we're released from that, from the oppressiveness that we

504
00:36:06.640 --> 00:36:16.120
have felt because, because of having accusation against God. It brings pain. It is not of

505
00:36:16.120 --> 00:36:20.760
our nature because we're a spirit and we're one with God and we're of his essence. It

506
00:36:20.760 --> 00:36:27.760
brings us pain to accuse God because we're in opposition to our nature because we're

507
00:36:27.760 --> 00:36:33.480
spirit that believes God and then, and then there's soul. We're creating our own pain

508
00:36:33.480 --> 00:36:42.880
by accusing God. You're, you, you don't have to live in pain. So that's why what it is

509
00:36:42.880 --> 00:36:49.040
that I'm speaking about when I'm saying, let's not use time as an accusation, let's not use,

510
00:36:49.040 --> 00:36:53.080
it's an invitation. It's not a condemnation of, well, there you did it again. You shouldn't

511
00:36:53.080 --> 00:36:57.720
have done that. It's not that. It's, it's understanding. No, no, you don't have to live

512
00:36:57.720 --> 00:37:03.680
in that pain. So you have permission to step out of that prison. That's all, that's all

513
00:37:03.680 --> 00:37:09.240
I'm saying. We need to take this filter through which we've used to view everything that we

514
00:37:09.240 --> 00:37:14.920
would hear of don't do and commands and whatever and, and where we saw them as, oh my goodness,

515
00:37:14.920 --> 00:37:18.400
that means that I haven't and it means that I'm not yet and it means that I haven't arrived

516
00:37:18.400 --> 00:37:24.520
yet. And we see it in lack and God's like, no, no, no. All of these things are an invitation.

517
00:37:24.520 --> 00:37:30.840
They're an invitation into goodness. You want more? You want more love? You want more freedom?

518
00:37:30.840 --> 00:37:35.760
That's what your pain and your struggle currently is. It's your spirit and your soul warring

519
00:37:35.760 --> 00:37:43.720
against one another. Your nature warring against itself causes pain and you are called to release,

520
00:37:43.720 --> 00:37:49.600
you are called to release freedom from your spirit into your soul, releasing it from frustration

521
00:37:49.600 --> 00:37:56.760
and moving it and freeing it from slavery. That's how you relieve your pain. That's how

522
00:37:56.760 --> 00:38:05.760
you relieve your struggle is in that, is in that overcoming. So I wanted to make sure

523
00:38:05.760 --> 00:38:11.640
that people weren't hearing condemnation because it's absolutely not my heart. It's an invitation

524
00:38:11.640 --> 00:38:18.280
from, from the Lord. Whenever we're in a, sorry, whenever, whenever we're in a struggle

525
00:38:18.280 --> 00:38:26.080
of, and, and, and have pain, that, like say for instance, you're in a trial, you know,

526
00:38:26.080 --> 00:38:29.440
you're in some tribulation, you said, oh my goodness, I'm in the fire, you know, I'm being

527
00:38:29.440 --> 00:38:36.680
purified and all of that. What, what's going on is God is, is God is saying, okay, the

528
00:38:36.680 --> 00:38:42.720
circumstances and environment around you have triggered, that have triggered, in other

529
00:38:42.720 --> 00:38:49.480
words highlighted a war that your soul and spirit are currently in because in some area

530
00:38:49.480 --> 00:38:56.360
in which your spirit, your spirit is declaring over your soul the word of God and, and, and

531
00:38:56.360 --> 00:39:04.480
your, and your soul is, is standing in accusation and saying, no, that's not true. It's not

532
00:39:04.520 --> 00:39:08.920
receiving the word of God. Not receiving the word of God actually creates pain. We think

533
00:39:08.920 --> 00:39:15.320
it's the opposite. We think, no, if I receive that word, I'm stepping into pain. No. It's

534
00:39:15.320 --> 00:39:20.720
freeing us from, from that pain. So God says the environment is triggering and highlighting

535
00:39:20.720 --> 00:39:25.480
the fact that you have this accusation against me and against my, my word. Would you like

536
00:39:25.480 --> 00:39:31.040
freedom? That's whatever trial, struggle, and tribulation that you're in right now.

537
00:39:31.040 --> 00:39:36.040
You're not being tested as if God's like a schoolmaster saying, Hey, look, I've taught

538
00:39:36.040 --> 00:39:40.040
you all of these lessons. You should know how to deal with this by now. Let's see how

539
00:39:40.040 --> 00:39:46.920
you do. It's not, it's an invitation. God's like, would you like more love and more freedom?

540
00:39:46.920 --> 00:39:54.240
Would you like to step into, um, into more? Would you finally like to agree with me? Feel

541
00:39:54.240 --> 00:40:00.000
safe with me, risk safety with me, let go, allow and receive me.

542
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:05.000
You receive my word, and then finally you're at rest

543
00:40:05.120 --> 00:40:07.440
because you're in alignment.

544
00:40:07.440 --> 00:40:11.520
And when you're at rest, you shift into a greater level

545
00:40:12.800 --> 00:40:14.080
of intimacy with the Lord,

546
00:40:14.080 --> 00:40:16.920
meaning you get to experience more of the inheritance

547
00:40:16.920 --> 00:40:18.700
he says he's already given you,

548
00:40:18.700 --> 00:40:20.500
because he's already given it to us,

549
00:40:20.500 --> 00:40:22.640
but just now we're now receiving it,

550
00:40:22.640 --> 00:40:24.160
we're now choosing to receive it.

551
00:40:24.160 --> 00:40:28.320
And once we've received it, we get to finally experience

552
00:40:28.320 --> 00:40:32.880
and see manifested into our circumstances and situations,

553
00:40:32.880 --> 00:40:36.200
more love, more peace, more freedom.

554
00:40:36.200 --> 00:40:38.520
Finally, that's when the fruits of the Spirit

555
00:40:38.520 --> 00:40:40.120
start manifesting themselves.

556
00:40:40.120 --> 00:40:42.840
That's finally when you see love, joy, peace,

557
00:40:42.840 --> 00:40:44.240
patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,

558
00:40:44.240 --> 00:40:46.880
gentleness, self-control, that your spirit already is,

559
00:40:46.880 --> 00:40:48.400
that's the nature of your spirit.

560
00:40:48.400 --> 00:40:52.420
That's when you finally start acting like it, effortlessly.

561
00:40:52.420 --> 00:40:56.080
Everything is freely given and has to be freely received,

562
00:40:56.080 --> 00:40:58.800
and you will just begin to start manifesting it.

563
00:40:58.800 --> 00:41:02.360
So that's what Charles' struggles and tribulations are.

564
00:41:03.840 --> 00:41:07.040
And so it's very important with the...

565
00:41:09.640 --> 00:41:11.520
Okay, well, I think, yeah, I've already mentioned that.

566
00:41:11.520 --> 00:41:13.240
Okay, good, I've already mentioned that.

567
00:41:13.240 --> 00:41:18.120
So we are making very good time here.

568
00:41:18.120 --> 00:41:19.660
Again, remember the whole point of life

569
00:41:19.660 --> 00:41:21.000
is the journey of the development

570
00:41:21.000 --> 00:41:22.400
of our relationship with the Lord.

571
00:41:22.400 --> 00:41:25.440
It's not passing life's milestones.

572
00:41:25.440 --> 00:41:27.420
So enjoy the journey.

573
00:41:27.420 --> 00:41:30.480
We were talking yesterday about enjoying ourselves,

574
00:41:30.480 --> 00:41:32.920
enjoying the bride, God says, enjoy me.

575
00:41:32.920 --> 00:41:34.080
He said, I'm enjoying you.

576
00:41:34.080 --> 00:41:36.360
Remember, we're relating to one another.

577
00:41:36.360 --> 00:41:39.560
That's what we're doing when we're moving through life.

578
00:41:39.560 --> 00:41:40.620
We're relating to one another.

579
00:41:40.620 --> 00:41:42.840
So therefore, enjoy.

580
00:41:42.840 --> 00:41:44.160
I'm enjoying you.

581
00:41:44.160 --> 00:41:47.720
Please enjoy me because it makes me feel loved.

582
00:41:47.720 --> 00:41:49.600
And then what also makes me feel loved

583
00:41:49.600 --> 00:41:51.400
is to take me at my word

584
00:41:51.400 --> 00:41:54.940
that you and I together should enjoy you.

585
00:41:54.940 --> 00:41:57.420
So enjoy it, enjoy the process,

586
00:41:57.420 --> 00:41:59.540
enjoy getting to the goal,

587
00:41:59.540 --> 00:42:01.460
enjoy getting to the vision,

588
00:42:01.460 --> 00:42:04.640
as opposed to, okay, that's God's gift.

589
00:42:04.640 --> 00:42:06.940
No, the journey is God's gift.

590
00:42:08.260 --> 00:42:10.100
We're relating with him.

591
00:42:10.100 --> 00:42:12.260
He's revealing more of himself to us.

592
00:42:12.260 --> 00:42:15.580
His gift is a greater and greater portion of himself

593
00:42:15.580 --> 00:42:18.520
as we make ourselves more and more vulnerable to him.

594
00:42:18.520 --> 00:42:20.060
That's the development of our relationship,

595
00:42:20.060 --> 00:42:23.340
choosing more and more and more to receive God at his word.

596
00:42:23.340 --> 00:42:25.780
And the more that we receive him at his word,

597
00:42:25.780 --> 00:42:28.600
what happens between word, initiation,

598
00:42:31.500 --> 00:42:33.540
and belief, which is receptivity,

599
00:42:34.560 --> 00:42:37.180
with that comes is intimacy.

600
00:42:37.180 --> 00:42:39.120
And that's what we all want.

601
00:42:39.120 --> 00:42:42.100
But intimacy requires our abandon and our vulnerability,

602
00:42:42.100 --> 00:42:44.540
as opposed to, well, God, I'm here.

603
00:42:44.540 --> 00:42:46.740
Why don't you meet me and why don't you whatever?

604
00:42:46.740 --> 00:42:49.820
And God's like, I'm here, but you won't receive me.

605
00:42:49.820 --> 00:42:50.900
You won't let me in.

606
00:42:53.620 --> 00:42:57.020
So all we have to do is let him in and then we have it.

607
00:42:57.020 --> 00:42:59.900
And all we do to let him in is stop.

608
00:43:00.780 --> 00:43:02.240
You don't have to do anything.

609
00:43:03.180 --> 00:43:04.460
You don't have to learn anything new

610
00:43:04.460 --> 00:43:06.480
that you need to do to please God.

611
00:43:06.480 --> 00:43:09.340
You stop whatever it is that you're doing,

612
00:43:09.340 --> 00:43:11.500
and then you're intimate with him.

613
00:43:11.500 --> 00:43:16.220
Because intimacy and a state of intimacy with him

614
00:43:16.220 --> 00:43:19.300
is your nature and your current state.

615
00:43:19.300 --> 00:43:22.300
So what we're trying to do is constantly remove

616
00:43:22.300 --> 00:43:25.620
all the resistance and the layers that we have put

617
00:43:25.620 --> 00:43:29.220
between us and our actual current existence

618
00:43:29.220 --> 00:43:31.440
so that we can actually finally experience

619
00:43:31.440 --> 00:43:35.780
in our soul and our body, our actual nature

620
00:43:35.780 --> 00:43:37.880
and the state in which we're currently existing

621
00:43:37.880 --> 00:43:39.780
with our father, which is of intimacy.

622
00:43:41.840 --> 00:43:46.840
So in this process, as opposed to holding God,

623
00:43:49.980 --> 00:43:51.900
having accusation against God of God,

624
00:43:52.460 --> 00:43:53.300
why haven't you brought this yet?

625
00:43:53.300 --> 00:43:54.300
Why haven't you brought that yet?

626
00:43:54.300 --> 00:43:57.180
God's like, or why won't,

627
00:43:57.180 --> 00:43:59.580
why doesn't the dream look like this?

628
00:43:59.580 --> 00:44:02.380
Or why doesn't the dream look like that?

629
00:44:02.380 --> 00:44:03.860
Or why aren't you doing this in my life?

630
00:44:03.860 --> 00:44:05.740
And I don't see you doing such and such in my life,

631
00:44:05.740 --> 00:44:06.740
and I've been asking you for it.

632
00:44:06.740 --> 00:44:10.660
And God's like, not only do I want you

633
00:44:10.660 --> 00:44:14.360
to know that I love you,

634
00:44:15.340 --> 00:44:20.340
I want you to receive me by allowing me to love you.

635
00:44:20.820 --> 00:44:24.440
Will you just stop and let me love you?

636
00:44:25.380 --> 00:44:27.980
That is what he's doing when he's giving us a dream

637
00:44:27.980 --> 00:44:29.900
and he's taking us on the journey.

638
00:44:29.900 --> 00:44:31.860
He's loving on us.

639
00:44:31.860 --> 00:44:34.940
You are currently in the state of existence

640
00:44:34.940 --> 00:44:37.660
in which you're in, regardless of what situations

641
00:44:37.660 --> 00:44:39.800
that it is in life, sitting in this room,

642
00:44:39.800 --> 00:44:41.420
whatever's going through your head,

643
00:44:41.420 --> 00:44:44.340
whatever you're going to be doing tonight or tomorrow,

644
00:44:44.340 --> 00:44:49.340
you are in a state currently of being loved by God.

645
00:44:50.860 --> 00:44:53.020
Currently, you're not,

646
00:44:53.020 --> 00:44:55.740
God's not waiting for you to do something

647
00:44:55.740 --> 00:44:57.500
before he loves on you.

648
00:44:57.500 --> 00:44:59.820
You're in a state of being loved.

649
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:03.500
on lavishly right now.

650
00:45:04.440 --> 00:45:08.660
But we have all of these resistances that we've put up,

651
00:45:08.660 --> 00:45:11.440
that we've kept us from being vulnerable enough

652
00:45:11.440 --> 00:45:14.640
to experience the fact that we're being loved on.

653
00:45:14.640 --> 00:45:17.440
So understand that's what the dream is.

654
00:45:17.440 --> 00:45:18.380
That's what the journey is.

655
00:45:18.380 --> 00:45:20.600
God's like, this is me loving you.

656
00:45:20.600 --> 00:45:24.080
Receive me by allowing yourself to be loved.

657
00:45:26.040 --> 00:45:28.720
Let me love you, that's your gift to me.

658
00:45:28.800 --> 00:45:32.080
Let me love you, let me be me to you, and I am love.

659
00:45:32.080 --> 00:45:34.840
So if you're rejecting love, you're rejecting me.

660
00:45:34.840 --> 00:45:35.900
Let me love you.

661
00:45:38.560 --> 00:45:40.420
All right, so the promise.

662
00:45:42.960 --> 00:45:43.960
Okay, talking about.

663
00:45:50.080 --> 00:45:50.920
Just a second.

664
00:45:59.720 --> 00:46:00.760
Okay.

665
00:46:04.400 --> 00:46:06.520
A promise that God gives us,

666
00:46:08.040 --> 00:46:09.320
you know, that we're delighted and we're like,

667
00:46:09.320 --> 00:46:11.480
oh my goodness, God's giving you a promise.

668
00:46:12.520 --> 00:46:17.520
That promise, the promise is not the manifestation itself.

669
00:46:17.780 --> 00:46:20.800
God's reason for giving us, God's,

670
00:46:20.800 --> 00:46:22.320
okay, let me say this first.

671
00:46:22.320 --> 00:46:27.320
God's reason for giving us a promise is not the promise.

672
00:46:28.160 --> 00:46:30.360
The thing is that, remember what we were talking about

673
00:46:30.360 --> 00:46:31.640
earlier about a grid?

674
00:46:33.160 --> 00:46:35.080
If God tells us how much he loves us,

675
00:46:35.080 --> 00:46:37.200
we're like, in his language, we're like,

676
00:46:37.200 --> 00:46:38.600
I don't understand.

677
00:46:38.600 --> 00:46:40.600
What, okay, it just sounded like he spoke

678
00:46:40.600 --> 00:46:43.520
in a heavenly language or in Greek.

679
00:46:43.520 --> 00:46:45.800
I don't know what that means.

680
00:46:45.800 --> 00:46:48.400
And so God's like, okay, you don't have a grid for it.

681
00:46:48.400 --> 00:46:51.240
So let me give you something in your language.

682
00:46:51.240 --> 00:46:53.960
So he gives us a promise and he says,

683
00:46:54.880 --> 00:46:59.880
I will make of you, I will make many nations.

684
00:47:00.920 --> 00:47:02.320
That's my promise to you.

685
00:47:02.320 --> 00:47:03.600
What was the point of the promise?

686
00:47:03.600 --> 00:47:06.880
The point of the promise was not that.

687
00:47:06.880 --> 00:47:08.960
The point of the promise was,

688
00:47:08.960 --> 00:47:10.400
God was trying to show Abraham,

689
00:47:10.400 --> 00:47:12.640
Abraham, according to your world

690
00:47:12.640 --> 00:47:15.000
and how much I know you value that,

691
00:47:15.000 --> 00:47:17.840
I'm telling you, I'm trying to tell you how much I love you.

692
00:47:17.840 --> 00:47:19.680
Okay, let's see, what can I use

693
00:47:19.680 --> 00:47:21.880
to help tell you that I love you?

694
00:47:21.880 --> 00:47:23.160
Oh, okay, you value that.

695
00:47:23.520 --> 00:47:25.080
Okay, now how much do you value that?

696
00:47:25.080 --> 00:47:26.800
Okay, so of all the things that you value

697
00:47:26.800 --> 00:47:28.680
and how much and how you rate them

698
00:47:28.680 --> 00:47:30.160
and measure them about how much you value.

699
00:47:30.160 --> 00:47:33.480
Okay, I want to prove to you new measures of my character,

700
00:47:33.480 --> 00:47:34.880
a new measure of my love and my goodness

701
00:47:34.880 --> 00:47:36.080
that you didn't know.

702
00:47:36.080 --> 00:47:38.560
So I love you, and then you find something

703
00:47:38.560 --> 00:47:40.040
that Abraham values and he says,

704
00:47:40.040 --> 00:47:42.680
Abraham, I love you this much.

705
00:47:42.680 --> 00:47:44.640
Now, do you know how much I love you?

706
00:47:44.640 --> 00:47:46.360
Now, do you know who I am?

707
00:47:46.360 --> 00:47:48.640
Now, do you know how much love I am?

708
00:47:48.640 --> 00:47:49.800
How much goodness I am?

709
00:47:49.800 --> 00:47:52.640
The point of the promise is a revelation

710
00:47:52.640 --> 00:47:57.160
of the degree to which God is declaring his character to be.

711
00:47:57.160 --> 00:48:00.080
That is why you were given your promise.

712
00:48:00.080 --> 00:48:02.480
It's not the promise itself.

713
00:48:02.480 --> 00:48:05.540
The promise does not have life to give you.

714
00:48:06.760 --> 00:48:08.920
God was just speaking your language.

715
00:48:08.920 --> 00:48:12.560
He's saying, I love you as much as you in your world

716
00:48:12.560 --> 00:48:13.960
know how to value that.

717
00:48:15.040 --> 00:48:16.480
That is how much I love you.

718
00:48:17.920 --> 00:48:20.440
That's how he wants us to receive his promises.

719
00:48:20.440 --> 00:48:24.360
So do we also see why it hurts?

720
00:48:24.360 --> 00:48:27.080
You know, we would imagine that it would hurt God

721
00:48:28.360 --> 00:48:30.800
if we would take this beautiful gift that he's given us.

722
00:48:30.800 --> 00:48:32.400
Hey, I'm trying to love you.

723
00:48:32.400 --> 00:48:35.340
So I'm loving you and I want to communicate that to you.

724
00:48:35.340 --> 00:48:36.400
So I'm giving you this promise.

725
00:48:36.400 --> 00:48:38.000
Now, do you see how much I love you?

726
00:48:38.000 --> 00:48:40.900
And instead what we do is like, oh my word, that's shiny.

727
00:48:42.000 --> 00:48:42.960
That's pretty.

728
00:48:42.960 --> 00:48:44.400
It's like, God, why aren't you doing this yet?

729
00:48:44.400 --> 00:48:45.400
Why haven't you done this yet?

730
00:48:45.400 --> 00:48:47.000
Why haven't you done this yet, God?

731
00:48:47.000 --> 00:48:48.680
I don't know that you're very good

732
00:48:48.680 --> 00:48:50.760
because this feels like teasing.

733
00:48:50.760 --> 00:48:53.280
You gave me some, you promised me something,

734
00:48:53.280 --> 00:48:55.080
but you won't give it to me.

735
00:48:55.080 --> 00:48:58.000
We're now using it to hurt him

736
00:48:58.000 --> 00:48:59.720
when the whole reason he gave it to us

737
00:48:59.720 --> 00:49:04.640
was trying to express to us the degree and the measure

738
00:49:04.640 --> 00:49:06.400
in our language to which we could understand

739
00:49:06.400 --> 00:49:07.960
he was loving us.

740
00:49:09.320 --> 00:49:13.520
And he doesn't want us to use it as an accusation.

741
00:49:13.520 --> 00:49:16.080
So it can't give us life anyway.

742
00:49:16.080 --> 00:49:17.320
So just let it go.

743
00:49:17.320 --> 00:49:19.960
No wonder it hurts us when God gives us promises

744
00:49:19.960 --> 00:49:21.840
for like, oh my word, how long am I gonna have

745
00:49:21.840 --> 00:49:23.440
to wait this time?

746
00:49:23.440 --> 00:49:26.080
How much faith am I gonna have to have at this time?

747
00:49:26.080 --> 00:49:28.680
How much participation is that gonna require me this time?

748
00:49:28.680 --> 00:49:30.580
How much sacrifice, how much whatever?

749
00:49:31.600 --> 00:49:35.200
I mean, no wonder, because we're focused too much on this,

750
00:49:35.200 --> 00:49:37.320
God's like, no, no, no, I love you that much.

751
00:49:37.320 --> 00:49:39.040
Focus on me.

752
00:49:39.040 --> 00:49:40.080
This is how much I love you.

753
00:49:40.080 --> 00:49:41.560
Are you serious?

754
00:49:41.560 --> 00:49:43.560
That's who you are?

755
00:49:43.560 --> 00:49:45.520
You're that much love and you're that much goodness?

756
00:49:45.520 --> 00:49:46.640
He said, yes.

757
00:49:46.640 --> 00:49:47.480
Come into me.

758
00:49:47.480 --> 00:49:49.000
Will you receive me?

759
00:49:49.000 --> 00:49:50.860
Will you be vulnerable with me?

760
00:49:50.860 --> 00:49:53.180
Will you choose that you're safe with me?

761
00:49:54.120 --> 00:49:56.120
And then that's how we mature.

762
00:49:56.120 --> 00:49:58.200
And then we experience more of the intimacy

763
00:49:58.200 --> 00:49:59.640
and more of the love of God.

764
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:02.920
From that point, we can move forward into something else.

765
00:50:02.920 --> 00:50:04.920
And again, that is what the development

766
00:50:04.920 --> 00:50:07.960
of our relationship with God is doing.

767
00:50:07.960 --> 00:50:10.240
Him expressing His love in ways,

768
00:50:10.240 --> 00:50:13.960
and we're choosing to always believe His word.

769
00:50:13.960 --> 00:50:15.600
That's how we're loving Him back.

770
00:50:17.800 --> 00:50:21.900
And the promise, it's His character.

771
00:50:23.480 --> 00:50:26.800
The promise is also kind of like an aspect of His character,

772
00:50:26.800 --> 00:50:30.400
kind of like a creation visual aspect of His character,

773
00:50:30.400 --> 00:50:32.840
that He's allowing you, that He's inviting you

774
00:50:32.840 --> 00:50:36.320
to participate in of Himself.

775
00:50:36.320 --> 00:50:38.560
He's giving you more of Himself that He's like,

776
00:50:38.560 --> 00:50:41.400
would you like to come into me to that extent

777
00:50:41.400 --> 00:50:43.320
and be part of that?

778
00:50:43.320 --> 00:50:46.440
Enjoy it, and to abide in that place.

779
00:50:46.440 --> 00:50:47.540
That's what that promise is.

780
00:50:47.540 --> 00:50:49.120
It's an aspect of His character

781
00:50:49.120 --> 00:50:50.440
that He's allowing us to come in

782
00:50:50.440 --> 00:50:53.400
and to participate, allowing us to participate in,

783
00:50:53.400 --> 00:50:55.160
which is why it has entered our world

784
00:50:55.160 --> 00:50:56.480
and He's given it to us.

785
00:50:57.440 --> 00:51:02.440
So the promise, though, is not Him giving His character

786
00:51:05.520 --> 00:51:09.280
to you, because He's already given you everything.

787
00:51:10.440 --> 00:51:13.040
So when we talk about God giving us a promise,

788
00:51:13.040 --> 00:51:14.900
He's not giving us something new

789
00:51:14.900 --> 00:51:16.520
and more than He's done before.

790
00:51:16.520 --> 00:51:18.240
He's already giving us everything.

791
00:51:18.240 --> 00:51:21.760
He's trying to teach a child, okay,

792
00:51:21.760 --> 00:51:23.320
well, you've matured to the point

793
00:51:23.320 --> 00:51:25.080
that I can now express to you in a grade

794
00:51:25.080 --> 00:51:26.760
you originally couldn't understand.

795
00:51:27.600 --> 00:51:28.600
I love you this much.

796
00:51:28.600 --> 00:51:32.080
You had no ability to conceptualize, consume,

797
00:51:32.080 --> 00:51:34.400
or be able to receive this before,

798
00:51:34.400 --> 00:51:38.440
but you're now, what does it say in Ezekiel 16?

799
00:51:38.440 --> 00:51:40.180
You're now old enough for love.

800
00:51:41.640 --> 00:51:44.520
You're now old enough for a new measure

801
00:51:44.520 --> 00:51:45.960
of intimacy with me.

802
00:51:46.880 --> 00:51:49.500
And then, when we're old enough again

803
00:51:49.500 --> 00:51:51.640
for a new measure of His intimacy,

804
00:51:51.640 --> 00:51:54.760
then He gives us something else.

805
00:51:54.760 --> 00:51:56.580
More promises, more goodness, more words,

806
00:51:57.400 --> 00:51:58.560
more declaration, more revelation.

807
00:51:58.560 --> 00:52:01.060
He'll open some more scriptures to you, et cetera.

808
00:52:02.660 --> 00:52:07.060
According to whether or not we are old enough

809
00:52:07.060 --> 00:52:10.220
to be able to consume and be able to receive

810
00:52:10.220 --> 00:52:14.740
that degree of love from a sovereign God of the universe.

811
00:52:16.020 --> 00:52:18.720
His love for those of us who've understood,

812
00:52:21.100 --> 00:52:24.020
who've had moments, His love,

813
00:52:24.020 --> 00:52:27.620
and the tiny, itty, bitty bit that we've been exposed to

814
00:52:27.620 --> 00:52:30.300
can feel very overwhelming,

815
00:52:30.300 --> 00:52:32.900
to the point where sometimes you can't move,

816
00:52:35.900 --> 00:52:40.900
or you can't talk or whatever, and you're just flooded.

817
00:52:40.900 --> 00:52:42.700
And so, that's just a tiny little bit.

818
00:52:42.700 --> 00:52:44.580
So, do we see how we have to be matured

819
00:52:44.580 --> 00:52:47.220
to be able to receive and consume more?

820
00:52:47.220 --> 00:52:49.100
Otherwise, it would overwhelm us,

821
00:52:49.100 --> 00:52:51.660
and God does not destroy us.

822
00:52:51.660 --> 00:52:52.980
We're the object of His love.

823
00:52:53.020 --> 00:52:56.140
He's trying to mature, He's trying to mature us.

824
00:52:56.140 --> 00:53:01.140
So, okay, the last, the last thing?

825
00:53:01.220 --> 00:53:03.300
Oh, no, no, I'm gonna talk about another thing.

826
00:53:08.060 --> 00:53:08.900
Let's see here.

827
00:53:12.020 --> 00:53:14.260
Okay, I've already talked about that, so.

828
00:53:18.740 --> 00:53:22.260
Okay, talking about the, okay, let's move then

829
00:53:22.300 --> 00:53:24.700
into the desires of our heart and making,

830
00:53:24.700 --> 00:53:27.280
and learning how to make decisions.

831
00:53:27.280 --> 00:53:29.100
Again, all from a place of rest.

832
00:53:29.100 --> 00:53:30.320
Everything that we're talking about

833
00:53:30.320 --> 00:53:32.820
is relieving us from shame and condemnation,

834
00:53:32.820 --> 00:53:35.820
letting us know that everything is supposed to be received.

835
00:53:37.940 --> 00:53:42.940
And if we suddenly stop, we actually get it.

836
00:53:43.660 --> 00:53:45.420
In other words, we receive it.

837
00:53:45.420 --> 00:53:47.020
If we stop, we receive it.

838
00:53:47.020 --> 00:53:49.140
We don't have to reach for it.

839
00:53:49.140 --> 00:53:50.280
We don't have to do anything for it.

840
00:53:50.280 --> 00:53:54.320
So, talking about the desires of our heart

841
00:53:54.320 --> 00:53:56.280
and the fact that, obviously, they're very good things.

842
00:53:56.280 --> 00:53:58.640
It is important, though, for us to remember

843
00:53:58.640 --> 00:54:01.760
that we've confused the desires of our heart

844
00:54:01.760 --> 00:54:03.560
with a specific vision.

845
00:54:03.560 --> 00:54:06.560
In other words, a specific way that we think it has to look.

846
00:54:09.320 --> 00:54:13.440
One of the dreams that I had is I wanted a house.

847
00:54:13.440 --> 00:54:17.280
And when I say I wanted a house, I mean I was obsessed.

848
00:54:17.280 --> 00:54:19.840
When I was a really little girl, probably,

849
00:54:20.440 --> 00:54:23.920
I don't know, some of these dreams began to develop

850
00:54:23.920 --> 00:54:26.280
when I was about six years old, five, six years old,

851
00:54:26.280 --> 00:54:27.480
something like that.

852
00:54:27.480 --> 00:54:31.280
But I remember when I was around like eight, nine, 10,

853
00:54:31.280 --> 00:54:33.640
I would go to my grandmom's house and I would,

854
00:54:33.640 --> 00:54:36.640
and while all of the other kids are outside playing,

855
00:54:36.640 --> 00:54:40.960
I would be inside for hours, hours,

856
00:54:40.960 --> 00:54:45.440
pouring and re-pouring over the architectural

857
00:54:45.440 --> 00:54:48.220
floor plan magazines that she had in her house.

858
00:54:48.220 --> 00:54:49.780
Because I loved houses.

859
00:54:49.780 --> 00:54:51.780
And, of course, now I know that,

860
00:54:51.780 --> 00:54:54.300
and as you can tell how it is that how it,

861
00:54:54.300 --> 00:54:56.580
just the way that the Lord operates out of me

862
00:54:56.580 --> 00:55:00.100
and how my spirit works and manifests into creation.

863
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:04.660
I see relationships between things, and I see connections, and I have a heart's desire

864
00:55:04.660 --> 00:55:06.540
to help other people see these connections.

865
00:55:07.100 --> 00:55:11.360
It's why I belabor points, why I'm constantly referencing, okay, oh, I'm about to talk about it.

866
00:55:11.360 --> 00:55:13.500
Do you remember when I talked about this two days ago?

867
00:55:14.140 --> 00:55:18.700
Constantly making connections for people to help them understand how everything relates,

868
00:55:19.040 --> 00:55:22.360
because when you understand how something relates to something else,

869
00:55:22.420 --> 00:55:26.580
it totally changes how you see, how you now see what you first saw.

870
00:55:27.540 --> 00:55:32.820
And it's taking information that's 1D, and it's suddenly making it 2D,

871
00:55:32.820 --> 00:55:36.840
and then I'll belabor it again to make it 3D, and then take us into a fourth dimension,

872
00:55:36.840 --> 00:55:42.380
and then take us into a fifth dimension, because the more that we understand about all of that,

873
00:55:42.380 --> 00:55:45.540
the more we can receive it, and the more of the Lord that we get to benefit from.

874
00:55:46.820 --> 00:55:53.400
Anyway, so sometimes we confuse the desires of our heart with a specific manifestation,

875
00:55:53.400 --> 00:55:55.140
thinking it has to look a particular way.

876
00:55:55.700 --> 00:55:58.840
And I had thought that, you know, with the house.

877
00:55:58.840 --> 00:56:05.680
It was something that I wanted from a very young age, and I would pick

878
00:56:05.680 --> 00:56:08.140
out which floor plan I liked, and I would mix and match them.

879
00:56:08.140 --> 00:56:11.160
And I'm like, well, I like the kitchen here, but I like the da-da-da-da-da.

880
00:56:11.160 --> 00:56:13.220
I mean, I'm doing this when I'm in elementary school.

881
00:56:13.560 --> 00:56:14.320
I just loved it.

882
00:56:14.680 --> 00:56:17.420
I loved the, and the reason I did is I liked the flow.

883
00:56:17.420 --> 00:56:19.340
I could care less what the outside of the house looked like.

884
00:56:20.480 --> 00:56:23.860
And all I'm looking at is an architectural drawing, so I'm like, okay, well,

885
00:56:23.860 --> 00:56:26.840
that would make sense that you would walk from the living room

886
00:56:26.840 --> 00:56:29.180
to the kitchen under these circumstances.

887
00:56:29.520 --> 00:56:32.980
And yeah, well, that actually doesn't, I wouldn't want to walk like that.

888
00:56:32.980 --> 00:56:34.720
That seems like an awfully long way around.

889
00:56:34.720 --> 00:56:36.460
No, we're not going to go with that one.

890
00:56:36.760 --> 00:56:43.260
It's the way, I didn't know, but my little soul is sensing aspects about the spirit,

891
00:56:43.440 --> 00:56:48.680
and it's trying to mature to understand and to figure out how to engage what it is that's an

892
00:56:48.680 --> 00:56:51.700
expression of my spirit out into creation.

893
00:56:52.800 --> 00:56:53.680
That's what it's doing.

894
00:56:53.680 --> 00:56:54.820
It's playing.

895
00:56:55.220 --> 00:56:55.820
It's a kid.

896
00:56:55.820 --> 00:57:00.680
It's trying to discover what is this world, and how do you work with it?

897
00:57:00.680 --> 00:57:01.700
Can I do this?

898
00:57:01.740 --> 00:57:02.360
That didn't work.

899
00:57:02.360 --> 00:57:03.620
Can I do, no, that didn't work.

900
00:57:03.620 --> 00:57:04.820
You know, this isn't working.

901
00:57:04.820 --> 00:57:07.380
I've been watching all the people do this, and it's not working for me.

902
00:57:07.800 --> 00:57:08.180
What is it?

903
00:57:08.180 --> 00:57:09.220
Oh, this will finally work.

904
00:57:09.440 --> 00:57:11.740
You're just playing with stuff because you don't know.

905
00:57:13.000 --> 00:57:17.340
So that's what I'm doing, and God is a very safe place to dream in.

906
00:57:17.740 --> 00:57:20.320
He is a very safe place to practice in.

907
00:57:20.600 --> 00:57:30.180
He, for those of you who understand software development, he allows us to play and dream

908
00:57:30.180 --> 00:57:34.820
in a sandbox, in a virtual reality sandbox before we hurt ourselves

909
00:57:34.820 --> 00:57:36.680
by doing that thing out in reality.

910
00:57:37.620 --> 00:57:39.700
He gives us a safe place to try it out.

911
00:57:40.040 --> 00:57:40.600
What do you think?

912
00:57:40.600 --> 00:57:41.420
What do you want to do with it?

913
00:57:41.420 --> 00:57:44.660
Do you want to put the pink tutu on the stuffed elephant?

914
00:57:44.980 --> 00:57:45.280
Go for it.

915
00:57:46.060 --> 00:57:48.300
It doesn't exist in real life, but play with it.

916
00:57:48.420 --> 00:57:49.260
See what you want to do.

917
00:57:49.260 --> 00:57:54.220
Make it wear the pink tutu, and then make it the daddy.

918
00:57:54.220 --> 00:57:57.380
Well, that's not really what works in real life, but hey, you're figuring it out.

919
00:57:57.700 --> 00:58:07.000
But you mess with it, and you're allowed to mess with it and not be condemned by it just

920
00:58:07.000 --> 00:58:11.360
because that's not how you're eventually going to operate the rest of your life.

921
00:58:12.680 --> 00:58:14.620
It's a process of development.

922
00:58:14.620 --> 00:58:17.100
It's very healthy for a child to play.

923
00:58:17.980 --> 00:58:22.960
And because they're called to be a king over creation, so they have to understand it,

924
00:58:22.960 --> 00:58:24.780
and they have to figure it out.

925
00:58:24.980 --> 00:58:27.520
So anyway, it extends into the spiritual realm as well.

926
00:58:28.600 --> 00:58:34.920
Anyway, I had a bit, I thought my heart's desire was a home, an actual physical home.

927
00:58:35.800 --> 00:58:41.760
But really, the more that I've come to understand the Lord, that's not a heart's desire.

928
00:58:42.060 --> 00:58:48.240
I want it, sure, but that's not a heart's desire.

929
00:58:49.240 --> 00:58:54.460
My heart's desire is actually deeper than that, and the only way I can figure

930
00:58:54.460 --> 00:59:00.580
out how this thing is that I feel and that I want, the only way I can think of to express it

931
00:59:00.580 --> 00:59:07.220
or to translate it into a grid that I could put into the world would be look like a house.

932
00:59:07.340 --> 00:59:11.760
So the house itself, though, is not the heart's desires.

933
00:59:12.120 --> 00:59:19.620
And so God always fulfills our heart's desires, and your heart's desires are good.

934
00:59:21.100 --> 00:59:24.240
God does not want to deny you your heart's desires.

935
00:59:25.520 --> 00:59:31.840
You developed them from a very beautiful, wonderful place in your spirit that can do no wrong.

936
00:59:31.960 --> 00:59:37.760
But we have to be matured with the Lord to the point where we,

937
00:59:37.760 --> 00:59:42.600
collaborating with the Lord, decide that heart's desire, what do we want it

938
00:59:42.600 --> 00:59:44.880
to actually look like in creation?

939
00:59:44.880 --> 00:59:49.820
Because we're above creation, we can make it look like anything we want.

940
00:59:50.680 --> 00:59:52.280
It doesn't have to look like a house.

941
00:59:52.920 --> 00:59:58.660
So God not giving you a dream that we have labeled as, or something that we have,

942
00:59:58.660 --> 00:59:59.980
a heart's desire that we have labeled.

943
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:03.260
as, well, this is my dream to have a house,

944
01:00:03.260 --> 01:00:07.720
that we're holding that an accusation against God.

945
01:00:07.720 --> 01:00:10.280
God, you don't grant me my heart's desires,

946
01:00:10.280 --> 01:00:12.160
I don't feel safe with you.

947
01:00:12.160 --> 01:00:14.880
God's like, that's not your heart's desire.

948
01:00:16.040 --> 01:00:18.800
You know, learn from me what your heart's desire is.

949
01:00:18.800 --> 01:00:23.800
I intend to fulfill your heart's desire.

950
01:00:24.480 --> 01:00:26.600
You just misunderstood

951
01:00:26.600 --> 01:00:28.480
what you thought it was supposed to look like.

952
01:00:28.480 --> 01:00:31.760
It actually looks bigger, more impactful,

953
01:00:31.760 --> 01:00:34.040
and more transformative in creation

954
01:00:34.040 --> 01:00:38.340
than the limited form to which you've forced it to be.

955
01:00:39.280 --> 01:00:40.920
It doesn't mean that God won't give you

956
01:00:40.920 --> 01:00:43.200
what it is that you've envisioned and whatever,

957
01:00:43.200 --> 01:00:48.200
but he doesn't want us to experience something

958
01:00:50.660 --> 01:00:54.080
that will hurt us because we think,

959
01:00:54.080 --> 01:00:56.520
see, I now have a house.

960
01:00:56.520 --> 01:00:58.360
God gave me my heart's desire.

961
01:00:58.360 --> 01:01:03.080
God's like, this is actually very destructive to you.

962
01:01:03.080 --> 01:01:07.080
You're limiting yourself, and I want us to be limitless.

963
01:01:07.080 --> 01:01:09.240
You can do so much more.

964
01:01:09.240 --> 01:01:11.680
So anyway, it's not that God won't give that thing to us

965
01:01:11.680 --> 01:01:14.200
because he does teach a child

966
01:01:14.200 --> 01:01:15.840
according to the child's love language

967
01:01:15.840 --> 01:01:17.020
and the child's language.

968
01:01:17.020 --> 01:01:18.320
This is the only way it understands.

969
01:01:18.320 --> 01:01:21.560
We hope he'll give us things as we mature.

970
01:01:21.560 --> 01:01:23.640
But as we've matured in Christ,

971
01:01:23.640 --> 01:01:25.680
sometimes we get frustrated with like,

972
01:01:25.680 --> 01:01:27.600
well, God used to love me.

973
01:01:28.600 --> 01:01:30.640
He used to do all kinds of things for me.

974
01:01:30.640 --> 01:01:33.160
When I was in college, I saw all kinds of miracles,

975
01:01:33.160 --> 01:01:34.280
and da-da-da-da-da.

976
01:01:34.280 --> 01:01:38.640
But now, I don't see things like that anymore,

977
01:01:38.640 --> 01:01:39.880
and God's like, no, no, no.

978
01:01:39.880 --> 01:01:42.560
That was to prove that you could trust me,

979
01:01:42.560 --> 01:01:44.800
but I wanted you to mature to the point

980
01:01:44.800 --> 01:01:47.000
that you could do that with me

981
01:01:47.000 --> 01:01:49.800
instead of standing around, holding me in accusation,

982
01:01:49.800 --> 01:01:51.680
why I'm not doing it for you.

983
01:01:51.680 --> 01:01:53.480
He's like, take part in it.

984
01:01:53.480 --> 01:01:54.920
Be bigger than that.

985
01:01:54.920 --> 01:01:55.840
Enjoy it.

986
01:01:58.080 --> 01:01:59.720
Enrich creation.

987
01:01:59.720 --> 01:02:00.960
And by doing that,

988
01:02:00.960 --> 01:02:03.440
you're fulfilling the desires of your heart,

989
01:02:03.440 --> 01:02:06.140
and we will fulfill the desires of our heart together.

990
01:02:09.840 --> 01:02:11.220
I'm sorry.

991
01:02:15.140 --> 01:02:18.700
Okay, last thing we'll talk about is making decisions.

992
01:02:20.880 --> 01:02:21.880
I'm trying to think.

993
01:02:25.920 --> 01:02:28.000
Okay, I'm gonna mention something really quick

994
01:02:28.000 --> 01:02:29.120
because I'm just gonna drop it in

995
01:02:29.120 --> 01:02:30.720
because I've already actually talked about it,

996
01:02:30.720 --> 01:02:32.640
so it might sound like a little bit out of context,

997
01:02:32.640 --> 01:02:34.000
but just remember back when we were,

998
01:02:34.000 --> 01:02:36.440
but I just think it's very, very sweet, very important,

999
01:02:36.440 --> 01:02:39.920
and will hopefully encourage, delight,

1000
01:02:40.800 --> 01:02:42.560
and comfort you,

1001
01:02:42.560 --> 01:02:47.560
and kind of make God a bit more endearing to you

1002
01:02:48.600 --> 01:02:50.800
and to see this.

1003
01:02:50.800 --> 01:02:53.640
You remember that we were talking about struggles,

1004
01:02:53.640 --> 01:02:54.520
trials, tribulations,

1005
01:02:55.080 --> 01:02:56.880
and oh my goodness, it's so hard,

1006
01:02:56.880 --> 01:03:00.480
and for us to not see them as God is a hard task master,

1007
01:03:02.200 --> 01:03:05.000
that he's mad at us or holding us accountable for,

1008
01:03:05.000 --> 01:03:06.960
well, you were supposed to have learned your lesson,

1009
01:03:06.960 --> 01:03:08.300
and whatever.

1010
01:03:09.960 --> 01:03:11.440
One of the things about tests,

1011
01:03:11.440 --> 01:03:13.600
so I'm just gonna throw this in there

1012
01:03:13.600 --> 01:03:15.040
because I hadn't planned on saying this,

1013
01:03:15.040 --> 01:03:16.960
but let's just think about this for a second.

1014
01:03:16.960 --> 01:03:18.320
I'm not saying that tests,

1015
01:03:18.320 --> 01:03:19.440
you know, the fact that we go to school

1016
01:03:19.440 --> 01:03:20.840
and we take tests and whatever,

1017
01:03:20.840 --> 01:03:23.320
you know, I'm not saying that that's bad at all.

1018
01:03:23.320 --> 01:03:24.960
I'm just trying to say,

1019
01:03:24.960 --> 01:03:29.000
we don't need to project that that is the experience

1020
01:03:29.000 --> 01:03:31.160
that we're experiencing with God.

1021
01:03:31.160 --> 01:03:36.160
In tests, one of the reasons that subconsciously

1022
01:03:36.460 --> 01:03:40.600
people don't like tests is they're abandoned.

1023
01:03:41.800 --> 01:03:44.100
They're completely alone.

1024
01:03:45.600 --> 01:03:48.280
You know, because, well, we can't have any cheating,

1025
01:03:48.280 --> 01:03:50.240
and you can't be distracted,

1026
01:03:50.240 --> 01:03:52.520
and you can't have any help.

1027
01:03:52.520 --> 01:03:55.520
You have to do this thing.

1028
01:03:55.520 --> 01:03:58.440
And if you don't have a good,

1029
01:03:58.440 --> 01:04:01.120
if you don't have a good healthy understanding

1030
01:04:01.120 --> 01:04:04.560
of this situation, if you're very, very wounded,

1031
01:04:04.560 --> 01:04:07.520
you can, if you come from a very wounded background

1032
01:04:07.520 --> 01:04:08.680
with a lot of traumas,

1033
01:04:08.680 --> 01:04:11.840
you can choose to interpret those types of experiences

1034
01:04:11.840 --> 01:04:14.880
as very traumatic and not like tests.

1035
01:04:14.880 --> 01:04:16.520
I'm not saying that the way that we take tests

1036
01:04:16.520 --> 01:04:17.780
and the form needs to be changed.

1037
01:04:17.780 --> 01:04:19.480
I took a test like that, they're fine.

1038
01:04:19.480 --> 01:04:20.480
My point is like,

1039
01:04:20.480 --> 01:04:22.880
do we kind of see an interesting picture there

1040
01:04:23.960 --> 01:04:26.140
and how we've projected that onto God?

1041
01:04:26.140 --> 01:04:28.040
We think that we're being given a test,

1042
01:04:28.040 --> 01:04:31.360
we're abandoned and alone, and there's trauma.

1043
01:04:31.360 --> 01:04:32.960
There's trauma, oh my goodness.

1044
01:04:32.960 --> 01:04:35.640
You know, if I don't get this right,

1045
01:04:35.640 --> 01:04:37.620
well then, you know, all hell's gonna break loose

1046
01:04:37.620 --> 01:04:40.220
and whatever, God's gonna punish me.

1047
01:04:42.200 --> 01:04:44.960
So we need to start seeing like struggles,

1048
01:04:44.960 --> 01:04:47.760
lessons, tests, trials is very differently,

1049
01:04:47.760 --> 01:04:49.280
which I talked about earlier.

1050
01:04:49.280 --> 01:04:53.760
But I wanted to mention when Jacob wrestled with the angel,

1051
01:04:54.920 --> 01:04:59.920
then he wrestled with the angel and...

1052
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:06.000
The angel touched his hip, that stopped the wrestling match because it said they wrestled all night.

1053
01:05:06.000 --> 01:05:10.000
I'm such a Texan.

1054
01:05:10.000 --> 01:05:12.000
It said they rassled.

1055
01:05:12.000 --> 01:05:15.000
I almost said rassled and I tried to self-correct.

1056
01:05:15.000 --> 01:05:16.000
Sorry.

1057
01:05:16.000 --> 01:05:18.000
I'm from West Texas.

1058
01:05:18.000 --> 01:05:20.000
It's just cattle country.

1059
01:05:20.000 --> 01:05:22.000
I grew up on a farm and ranch.

1060
01:05:22.000 --> 01:05:26.000
Yeah, they rassled, they wrestled.

1061
01:05:26.000 --> 01:05:33.000
But what the angel said is he said, your name will no longer be called Jacob.

1062
01:05:33.000 --> 01:05:36.000
Your name will be called Israel.

1063
01:05:36.000 --> 01:05:39.000
Well, he didn't say your name will no longer be called Jacob, I don't think.

1064
01:05:39.000 --> 01:05:41.000
But he did say your name will now be called Israel.

1065
01:05:41.000 --> 01:05:47.000
And Israel, he said, because you have struggled with God in one.

1066
01:05:47.000 --> 01:05:54.000
And the name Israel actually means he who struggles with God.

1067
01:05:54.000 --> 01:05:59.000
Remember what we were talking about, about the significance in which God places on names.

1068
01:05:59.000 --> 01:06:04.000
It's so very important when he gives someone a new name when they're howled.

1069
01:06:04.000 --> 01:06:06.000
Why on earth would God do that?

1070
01:06:06.000 --> 01:06:07.000
It's hard.

1071
01:06:07.000 --> 01:06:08.000
It's confusing.

1072
01:06:08.000 --> 01:06:15.000
Except for the fact that it is speaking a new aspect of their identity over them that they can now then carry out.

1073
01:06:15.000 --> 01:06:17.000
So what does Israel mean?

1074
01:06:17.000 --> 01:06:20.000
Israel means he who struggles with God.

1075
01:06:20.000 --> 01:06:24.000
That's not a negative thing.

1076
01:06:24.000 --> 01:06:26.000
It's very, very sweet.

1077
01:06:26.000 --> 01:06:31.000
Because remember, what's more important to God than anything else?

1078
01:06:31.000 --> 01:06:32.000
Union.

1079
01:06:32.000 --> 01:06:33.000
Yeah, relationship.

1080
01:06:33.000 --> 01:06:35.000
Relationship within union.

1081
01:06:35.000 --> 01:06:48.000
And when we are hurt by God, when we have accusation, when we're throwing lies, then we're believing lies and we're throwing accusations.

1082
01:06:48.000 --> 01:06:49.000
We're struggling.

1083
01:06:49.000 --> 01:06:52.000
And what does God not want us to do?

1084
01:06:52.000 --> 01:06:55.000
He wants the same thing that we want.

1085
01:06:55.000 --> 01:06:57.000
Why do we want this?

1086
01:06:57.000 --> 01:07:02.000
Because we're of God and this is what he doesn't like either.

1087
01:07:02.000 --> 01:07:06.000
No one, not even God, wants to be abandoned.

1088
01:07:06.000 --> 01:07:14.000
And if we're struggling with God and we're mad at him and we turn our back, there's separation.

1089
01:07:14.000 --> 01:07:15.000
He's being abandoned.

1090
01:07:15.000 --> 01:07:17.000
He doesn't like that.

1091
01:07:18.000 --> 01:07:25.000
So I was struggling with him one time and I am so very, very, very rarely mad at God.

1092
01:07:25.000 --> 01:07:27.000
So very rarely.

1093
01:07:27.000 --> 01:07:33.000
Just because I have a very strong soul and I don't let myself go there or at least acknowledge that I'm mad.

1094
01:07:33.000 --> 01:07:38.000
I'm sure that I'm actually mad, but I don't allow myself to acknowledge that I'm mad.

1095
01:07:38.000 --> 01:07:49.000
But the point is that in this particular situation, I was so mad that it had come up and I was in the middle of depression, very severe depression.

1096
01:07:49.000 --> 01:07:55.000
And anxiety, all of that, had very high accusation against God.

1097
01:07:55.000 --> 01:07:57.000
And I remember exactly where it was I was standing.

1098
01:07:57.000 --> 01:08:01.000
I was in my very first apartment as an adult.

1099
01:08:01.000 --> 01:08:05.000
And I remember exactly where I was standing in the bedroom when God said,

1100
01:08:05.000 --> 01:08:08.000
Ashley, he said, you can be mad at me.

1101
01:08:08.000 --> 01:08:10.000
He said, we can work through this struggle.

1102
01:08:10.000 --> 01:08:12.000
That's fine.

1103
01:08:12.000 --> 01:08:13.000
We can do that.

1104
01:08:13.000 --> 01:08:17.000
And then he said, but don't shut me out.

1105
01:08:17.000 --> 01:08:21.000
He said, if you're going to struggle, he said, that's fine.

1106
01:08:21.000 --> 01:08:23.000
You're trying to get a foothold.

1107
01:08:23.000 --> 01:08:25.000
You're trying to understand.

1108
01:08:25.000 --> 01:08:29.000
You want intimacy with me and yet you're resisting it at the same time.

1109
01:08:29.000 --> 01:08:31.000
So you're doing your own push-pull here.

1110
01:08:31.000 --> 01:08:35.000
He said, let me walk through this with you.

1111
01:08:35.000 --> 01:08:38.000
But he said, don't abandon me.

1112
01:08:38.000 --> 01:08:40.000
He said, don't shut me out.

1113
01:08:40.000 --> 01:08:53.000
So he said, when you struggle, struggle with me, not be in struggle.

1114
01:08:53.000 --> 01:08:57.000
And then turn my back on God because I'm mad at him, so I'm struggling.

1115
01:08:57.000 --> 01:09:01.000
God's like, no, no, no, even if you're mad at me, even if I'm the object,

1116
01:09:01.000 --> 01:09:05.000
do it with me because relationship and union is so important to him.

1117
01:09:05.000 --> 01:09:11.000
It's so important to him that he gave Israel a very endearing name.

1118
01:09:11.000 --> 01:09:15.000
And he said, every time that someone will say the name Israel from now,

1119
01:09:15.000 --> 01:09:18.000
every time somebody reads a scripture verse,

1120
01:09:18.000 --> 01:09:22.000
every time it is printed in how many millions and billions of Bibles,

1121
01:09:23.000 --> 01:09:29.000
how many times the Gentiles, the nations around them,

1122
01:09:29.000 --> 01:09:33.000
would say it every time God himself would call down Israel,

1123
01:09:33.000 --> 01:09:37.000
I'm calling my son, and every time he would address his child,

1124
01:09:37.000 --> 01:09:42.000
every single time it is speaking that name, which is very powerful.

1125
01:09:42.000 --> 01:09:43.000
Words are very powerful.

1126
01:09:43.000 --> 01:09:48.000
It is speaking that name more and more and more and more and more into creation.

1127
01:09:48.000 --> 01:09:50.000
It is entrenching it.

1128
01:09:50.000 --> 01:09:53.000
And the thing that's being entrenched is a phrase,

1129
01:09:53.000 --> 01:09:55.000
he who struggles with God.

1130
01:09:55.000 --> 01:09:57.000
I personally would have imagined, well, God,

1131
01:09:57.000 --> 01:09:59.000
why wouldn't you name him something like, well,

1132
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:02.560
He who loves God, or he whom God loves,

1133
01:10:02.560 --> 01:10:05.240
so that every single time somebody ever says it,

1134
01:10:05.240 --> 01:10:09.680
it's declaring yet again into creation, he who God loves.

1135
01:10:09.680 --> 01:10:11.040
Now that seems nice and affirming,

1136
01:10:11.040 --> 01:10:12.680
so I don't understand this whole other thing

1137
01:10:12.680 --> 01:10:14.120
because it sounds so negative.

1138
01:10:14.120 --> 01:10:15.840
I was like, no, no, no, relationship

1139
01:10:15.840 --> 01:10:17.760
and lack of separation is so important to me

1140
01:10:17.760 --> 01:10:21.440
that I went to name my son, he who struggles with God

1141
01:10:21.440 --> 01:10:24.360
and declare over him that even in his darkest moment,

1142
01:10:24.360 --> 01:10:28.560
he will not abandon me, and we will not be out of union.

1143
01:10:29.400 --> 01:10:32.520
It's that important, so important that he named Israel

1144
01:10:32.520 --> 01:10:33.720
his firstborn son now.

1145
01:10:34.600 --> 01:10:37.040
So your union with him is so very important.

1146
01:10:37.040 --> 01:10:38.360
Okay, last thing that we're gonna talk about,

1147
01:10:38.360 --> 01:10:39.900
actually making decisions.

1148
01:10:39.900 --> 01:10:43.600
So I recommend going through this process

1149
01:10:43.600 --> 01:10:45.280
when you make decisions.

1150
01:10:45.280 --> 01:10:47.040
I actually learned this in Walmart.

1151
01:10:49.080 --> 01:10:53.040
I was going through, this was about a year,

1152
01:10:56.680 --> 01:10:57.520
is it a year ago?

1153
01:10:57.520 --> 01:10:58.840
Yeah, it's a year ago, so this will show you

1154
01:10:58.840 --> 01:11:03.120
how far I've come with the Lord because I've chosen,

1155
01:11:03.120 --> 01:11:04.800
I've chosen that he is who he says that he is,

1156
01:11:04.800 --> 01:11:06.600
even if I don't see it and I step out on it

1157
01:11:06.600 --> 01:11:09.000
and my finances and business and relationships

1158
01:11:09.000 --> 01:11:11.800
and ministries, it's all on whatever it is he says,

1159
01:11:12.860 --> 01:11:14.160
and I risk it all on that.

1160
01:11:16.040 --> 01:11:19.080
But a year ago, I was in Walmart, I did not have much money,

1161
01:11:19.080 --> 01:11:22.640
don't remember how much I had, let's just say,

1162
01:11:22.640 --> 01:11:24.920
I think I had something like maybe $50 to my name,

1163
01:11:24.920 --> 01:11:27.880
something like that, and I was really struggling,

1164
01:11:27.880 --> 01:11:29.960
going through a very hard time with the Lord.

1165
01:11:29.960 --> 01:11:31.040
Lord, what am I supposed to do?

1166
01:11:31.040 --> 01:11:31.880
Who am I?

1167
01:11:31.880 --> 01:11:32.700
Who are you?

1168
01:11:33.840 --> 01:11:34.920
Well, I'm trying to learn.

1169
01:11:34.920 --> 01:11:37.120
God is telling me he's love and he's goodness

1170
01:11:37.120 --> 01:11:38.920
and he's abundance, so I'm at Walmart

1171
01:11:38.920 --> 01:11:43.920
and the central air in my apartment had gone out

1172
01:11:47.160 --> 01:11:52.160
and it was very hot, and especially because

1173
01:11:53.080 --> 01:11:55.640
it's above the garage, it could get sweltering,

1174
01:11:55.640 --> 01:11:58.100
and I can handle heat, because I grew up in the Middle East,

1175
01:11:58.100 --> 01:12:00.760
which can get up to 120 degree weather,

1176
01:12:00.760 --> 01:12:03.400
without, and they didn't have central air either,

1177
01:12:03.400 --> 01:12:05.960
I can handle heat, and this was very hot.

1178
01:12:05.960 --> 01:12:09.160
So I thought, no, I don't have very much money

1179
01:12:09.160 --> 01:12:12.420
and it would be really nice to have a fan.

1180
01:12:12.420 --> 01:12:15.200
So I thought, you know what, my God is a good God,

1181
01:12:15.200 --> 01:12:17.600
I'm learning that, and I've learned that if I believe it,

1182
01:12:17.600 --> 01:12:19.680
I'm gonna act on it in some way.

1183
01:12:19.720 --> 01:12:24.280
So I'm choosing that he will sustain me

1184
01:12:24.280 --> 01:12:27.160
if I act on it enough to put my money,

1185
01:12:27.160 --> 01:12:28.880
literally, where my mouth is,

1186
01:12:28.880 --> 01:12:30.640
and actually spend money on it.

1187
01:12:30.640 --> 01:12:32.520
So I went and I'm looking at two different fans

1188
01:12:32.520 --> 01:12:34.600
in an aisle in Walmart, and I'm standing there,

1189
01:12:34.600 --> 01:12:35.440
I'm standing there, I'm standing there,

1190
01:12:35.440 --> 01:12:37.280
and I thought, how do I make a decision?

1191
01:12:37.280 --> 01:12:39.640
How do I make a decision on how good God is?

1192
01:12:41.080 --> 01:12:42.120
Like, I don't know.

1193
01:12:42.120 --> 01:12:45.080
So this one here, I think it was like $10,

1194
01:12:45.080 --> 01:12:46.780
and this other one was 17.

1195
01:12:47.780 --> 01:12:52.780
And I wanted the $17 one

1196
01:12:53.260 --> 01:12:54.900
because it was nicer and all of that,

1197
01:12:54.900 --> 01:12:56.900
but in my mind, what's going through my mind

1198
01:12:56.900 --> 01:12:58.820
is my years of training.

1199
01:12:58.820 --> 01:13:00.900
Ashley, with the amount of money that you have in the bank

1200
01:13:00.900 --> 01:13:02.500
and what might come in the future

1201
01:13:02.500 --> 01:13:05.100
and what emergency you might need it for,

1202
01:13:05.100 --> 01:13:07.900
and your food and whatever,

1203
01:13:07.900 --> 01:13:11.900
you know, that's not the responsible decision.

1204
01:13:11.900 --> 01:13:13.740
Go with the smaller, cheaper fan

1205
01:13:13.740 --> 01:13:16.420
because it's functional and it'll probably work.

1206
01:13:16.940 --> 01:13:19.980
And if it doesn't work, Walmart will take it back,

1207
01:13:19.980 --> 01:13:21.060
and then you can get the bigger one

1208
01:13:21.060 --> 01:13:22.740
because you found out that it didn't work.

1209
01:13:22.740 --> 01:13:24.860
This is the responsible decision.

1210
01:13:24.860 --> 01:13:28.840
But I thought, no, God says that he's so good

1211
01:13:28.840 --> 01:13:30.580
that I don't have to live my life

1212
01:13:30.580 --> 01:13:32.660
according to the tree of the knowledge of good and evil,

1213
01:13:32.660 --> 01:13:36.420
of thinking I'm in lack and having to weigh

1214
01:13:36.420 --> 01:13:38.860
is this responsible or not responsible.

1215
01:13:38.860 --> 01:13:41.160
But my God's bigger than that.

1216
01:13:41.160 --> 01:13:42.900
He is more loving, more good,

1217
01:13:42.900 --> 01:13:46.180
but where does he want me to believe him?

1218
01:13:46.940 --> 01:13:48.980
And where has my faith extended to?

1219
01:13:50.780 --> 01:13:53.060
So I thought, well, I don't know.

1220
01:13:53.060 --> 01:13:55.140
I really don't know which one.

1221
01:13:55.140 --> 01:13:58.380
Does he want me to act in wisdom?

1222
01:13:58.380 --> 01:14:00.100
Because God created wisdom.

1223
01:14:00.100 --> 01:14:02.220
Wisdom was not created by Satan.

1224
01:14:02.220 --> 01:14:03.520
God created wisdom.

1225
01:14:03.520 --> 01:14:05.700
God created the things by which,

1226
01:14:05.700 --> 01:14:08.740
the standards by which we have learned

1227
01:14:08.740 --> 01:14:10.860
how to be quote-unquote responsible

1228
01:14:10.860 --> 01:14:13.420
and be able to measure each other's responsibility

1229
01:14:13.420 --> 01:14:16.960
and therefore judge each other by responsibility,

1230
01:14:16.960 --> 01:14:19.980
you know, according to this tree, right?

1231
01:14:19.980 --> 01:14:22.140
So I'm like, which one is God?

1232
01:14:22.140 --> 01:14:23.920
Because I see God in both.

1233
01:14:23.920 --> 01:14:26.580
So I'm trying to learn a God that I don't know.

1234
01:14:26.580 --> 01:14:28.420
I'm stepping into an unknown,

1235
01:14:28.420 --> 01:14:29.980
but I don't know how much of an unknown

1236
01:14:29.980 --> 01:14:33.380
am I out claiming God if I choose this one?

1237
01:14:33.380 --> 01:14:34.300
I don't know.

1238
01:14:34.300 --> 01:14:37.880
So this is how I learned how to make decisions.

1239
01:14:38.740 --> 01:14:41.460
I thought, and I referenced this a little bit yesterday,

1240
01:14:41.500 --> 01:14:44.580
I said, I thought, okay,

1241
01:14:44.580 --> 01:14:47.540
I'm going to quiet my spirit because my soul's yapping.

1242
01:14:48.660 --> 01:14:50.500
My soul is yapping, yapping, yapping, yapping.

1243
01:14:50.500 --> 01:14:51.940
Or maybe I mentioned this earlier today.

1244
01:14:51.940 --> 01:14:53.220
It's just yapping, it's talking.

1245
01:14:53.220 --> 01:14:54.060
It's like this child.

1246
01:14:54.060 --> 01:14:54.900
Why?

1247
01:14:54.900 --> 01:14:55.840
Because it's in fear.

1248
01:14:55.840 --> 01:14:56.680
I'm abandoned.

1249
01:14:56.680 --> 01:14:57.500
I'm alone.

1250
01:14:57.500 --> 01:15:00.140
I'm not gonna have, God may not come through.

1251
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:03.840
that may be out claiming God's love and I was supposed to have done this and then I'm going to

1252
01:15:03.840 --> 01:15:10.400
bear the consequences and then you know I'm gonna I'm gonna be out of out of food for three days

1253
01:15:10.400 --> 01:15:17.200
because I spent 17 dollars on this instead you know and so what it is that I and that's what my

1254
01:15:17.200 --> 01:15:22.960
soul's doing and I was I was afraid remember what I was talking about earlier it's important to stop

1255
01:15:22.960 --> 01:15:29.440
and honor our feelings acknowledge our feelings acknowledge the fact that I feel that way

1256
01:15:30.560 --> 01:15:38.000
so this little kid in other words our soul is more immature than our spirit so our spirit being the

1257
01:15:38.000 --> 01:15:44.880
more mature one like a parent it has the patience and the maturity to wait it has a voice too and

1258
01:15:44.880 --> 01:15:50.080
it wants to be heard but it has the maturity to wait so tell your spirit to wait for a while when

1259
01:15:50.080 --> 01:15:53.920
you're trying to make a decision this is just one method in which you can make decision if you're

1260
01:15:53.920 --> 01:15:57.280
if you're wondering how to make a decision I'm just giving you a tool you can see if it works

1261
01:15:57.280 --> 01:16:03.040
for you so I tell my soul I mean I just I just have my soul be quiet I just say okay no no I'm

1262
01:16:03.040 --> 01:16:08.800
not I'm not gonna listen to my soul it's my my soul my spirit for just a second I'm gonna let

1263
01:16:08.800 --> 01:16:12.560
my little impatient soul you know he's just talking talking I don't know wanting attention

1264
01:16:12.560 --> 01:16:16.960
I'm scared I'm scared I'm scared I want attention and it won't stop if I let the spirit talk first

1265
01:16:16.960 --> 01:16:22.640
so I'm gonna let this talk first okay so which one do you want to do how do you feel about this one

1266
01:16:22.640 --> 01:16:28.640
oh we love this one we love that this one feels safe this one feels familiar because we're very

1267
01:16:28.640 --> 01:16:34.320
familiar with responsibility there's assurance in a standard there's assurance in some in history

1268
01:16:34.320 --> 01:16:39.440
and historicity that we have learned by and that we've operated by I have experience and proof to

1269
01:16:39.440 --> 01:16:45.280
back up that one like I feel very very safe with that one okay well so you know in other words me

1270
01:16:45.280 --> 01:16:50.960
you know okay well how do I feel about this one truly acknowledging how is it that I feel

1271
01:16:50.960 --> 01:16:56.320
oh I don't like that one I like that one I want it I really want it because it's a nicer fan and I

1272
01:16:56.320 --> 01:17:04.800
would be cooler and it's and it's less likely to break and and um uh excuse me in fact speaking

1273
01:17:04.800 --> 01:17:08.320
about that I don't want to forget that let me mention because I wanted

1274
01:17:12.160 --> 01:17:18.080
um but I don't want it to break and um and so I really really like that one but

1275
01:17:19.040 --> 01:17:28.480
my soul yearns for that one but I'm afraid I don't know that I don't feel safe it's very unfamiliar

1276
01:17:28.480 --> 01:17:34.880
and I don't feel safe so I don't like it so I would rather deny a desire in order to be safe

1277
01:17:35.520 --> 01:17:41.200
so that's how I feel okay that's how I feel and it's important to do that because you'll get

1278
01:17:42.000 --> 01:17:46.800
weird way to phrase it but you'll get over yourself faster you'll stop doing all of these

1279
01:17:46.800 --> 01:17:50.160
things that you don't like doing and you don't like feeling and you don't like the fact that

1280
01:17:50.160 --> 01:17:55.440
it's coming up out of you it'll it'll move on and past you but you'll move past it and you'll mature

1281
01:17:55.440 --> 01:18:00.480
faster if you just acknowledge the fact and bring in other words bring it from darkness into the

1282
01:18:00.480 --> 01:18:07.920
light you neutralize its power if it stays in darkness it it you it gives you give it um uh it

1283
01:18:07.920 --> 01:18:13.200
increases its power so anyway so my soul has had its say so now I let my spirit come in and I'm

1284
01:18:13.200 --> 01:18:18.480
like okay now soul okay you be quiet and now it's actually quiet as opposed to I'm trying to hear my

1285
01:18:18.480 --> 01:18:23.120
spirit I'm trying to hear God you know and I don't know there's just too much noise I don't know you

1286
01:18:23.120 --> 01:18:27.760
know this thing that I'm feeling is that me or is that God because I like it but I don't and I feel

1287
01:18:27.760 --> 01:18:31.760
afraid but I feel at peace and what what is it that I think what is it that I feel where is all

1288
01:18:31.760 --> 01:18:36.880
this going it's because we've got two things talking to us at the same time one at a time

1289
01:18:37.840 --> 01:18:43.600
let the soul talk first and now that it's talked it will be quiet you'll discover that it'll be

1290
01:18:43.600 --> 01:18:53.360
quiet now you can feel okay where to what degree have I matured in my faith you don't have to be

1291
01:18:53.360 --> 01:18:58.400
here if you're only five in your faith that's okay you only have to you only only be five

1292
01:18:59.760 --> 01:19:03.280
you don't have to believe for this even though you're going to believe for this

1293
01:19:03.360 --> 01:19:08.560
you know years later because you're going to know God to that extent to what extent do you

1294
01:19:08.560 --> 01:19:14.880
believe God now and that's what you're trying to understand to what degree is my faith to what

1295
01:19:14.880 --> 01:19:20.320
degree do I believe in the love and goodness of God and it's going and I'm going to see that and

1296
01:19:20.320 --> 01:19:26.000
how it is my spirit responds here because my spirit is going to be drawn to whichever one

1297
01:19:26.000 --> 01:19:34.000
where I feel where I feel God will come through for me on but again Shadrach Meshach and Abednego

1298
01:19:34.000 --> 01:19:39.680
but even if he doesn't they said God will save us they didn't say he could they said God will

1299
01:19:39.680 --> 01:19:44.560
save us they made an absolute declaration and then they said but even if he doesn't so they

1300
01:19:44.560 --> 01:19:52.240
declared an absolute so where is it that you believe that God will come through for you but

1301
01:19:52.240 --> 01:19:55.200
I'm not going to hold his character my belief of his love and his goodness

1302
01:19:55.920 --> 01:19:59.760
in it hostage to whether or not it ends up being true.

1303
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:06.000
That's, that we're not even talking, you know, that I'm like, no, that's not part of the decision.

1304
01:20:06.000 --> 01:20:08.000
I'm choosing what is it that I believe about my God?

1305
01:20:08.000 --> 01:20:13.000
What is it in this moment in creation I am putting forth in action?

1306
01:20:13.000 --> 01:20:17.000
Who do I say God is?

1307
01:20:17.000 --> 01:20:22.000
And so I asked my spirit, okay, spirit, what do you think about this one?

1308
01:20:22.000 --> 01:20:24.000
And then I'll fill a particular way.

1309
01:20:24.000 --> 01:20:28.000
And if I remember, if I remember correctly, I think I felt kind of neutral.

1310
01:20:28.000 --> 01:20:30.000
I was like, I don't know, do I feel good about that?

1311
01:20:30.000 --> 01:20:31.000
Do I feel bad about that?

1312
01:20:31.000 --> 01:20:32.000
Is that a good feeling?

1313
01:20:32.000 --> 01:20:33.000
Is that a bad feeling?

1314
01:20:33.000 --> 01:20:34.000
I don't know.

1315
01:20:34.000 --> 01:20:35.000
So I'm like, okay, well, give it something to compare to.

1316
01:20:35.000 --> 01:20:37.000
I'm like, okay, well, I'll come back to that one.

1317
01:20:37.000 --> 01:20:39.000
And then I, and then I looked at this one.

1318
01:20:39.000 --> 01:20:42.000
Okay, what does my spirit feel about this one?

1319
01:20:42.000 --> 01:20:45.000
Do I, do I have peace here?

1320
01:20:45.000 --> 01:20:47.000
You're looking for where your soul finds peace.

1321
01:20:47.000 --> 01:20:51.000
And now we're looking for where our spirit finds peace.

1322
01:20:51.000 --> 01:20:52.000
We're looking for peace.

1323
01:20:52.000 --> 01:20:54.000
Where do you settle within?

1324
01:20:55.000 --> 01:21:00.000
And so I thought, okay, does my spirit feel peace over here?

1325
01:21:00.000 --> 01:21:01.000
I don't know.

1326
01:21:01.000 --> 01:21:02.000
So I give it something to compare it to.

1327
01:21:02.000 --> 01:21:04.000
Does my spirit feel peace right here?

1328
01:21:04.000 --> 01:21:06.000
Yes.

1329
01:21:06.000 --> 01:21:10.000
It was like that is who I, I did two things.

1330
01:21:10.000 --> 01:21:13.000
I thought that is who I know my God to be.

1331
01:21:13.000 --> 01:21:16.000
In other words, that I am choosing that my God is.

1332
01:21:16.000 --> 01:21:19.000
But that is, but oh my word, it still feels like a stretch.

1333
01:21:19.000 --> 01:21:23.000
So I told God, I said, God, this is who I want to choose

1334
01:21:23.000 --> 01:21:26.000
and to step out actively to where I risk,

1335
01:21:26.000 --> 01:21:29.000
and I receive the worldly consequences if I'm wrong.

1336
01:21:29.000 --> 01:21:33.000
I want to believe that this is who you are.

1337
01:21:33.000 --> 01:21:36.000
I want to believe that you are this love and this good.

1338
01:21:36.000 --> 01:21:39.000
Not that I wanted to out of my soul.

1339
01:21:39.000 --> 01:21:42.000
No, my spirit wanted to.

1340
01:21:42.000 --> 01:21:48.000
My spirit said, okay, I have faith, but I would like to stretch it.

1341
01:21:48.000 --> 01:21:51.000
I would like to receive more of God's love.

1342
01:21:51.000 --> 01:21:54.000
And so, and move into a new realm of God's love.

1343
01:21:54.000 --> 01:21:56.000
So I have to, I have to challenge it,

1344
01:21:56.000 --> 01:21:58.000
and I have to push past the boundary that I've been,

1345
01:21:58.000 --> 01:22:01.000
that I was, you know, have been in past circumstances.

1346
01:22:01.000 --> 01:22:03.000
I'm pushing the boundary.

1347
01:22:03.000 --> 01:22:06.000
And so I'm like, okay, now my soul's had its say.

1348
01:22:06.000 --> 01:22:08.000
Now my spirit's had its say.

1349
01:22:08.000 --> 01:22:10.000
I know my spirit, soul has found peace here.

1350
01:22:10.000 --> 01:22:13.000
I know my spirit has found peace here.

1351
01:22:13.000 --> 01:22:15.000
Now make a decision.

1352
01:22:15.000 --> 01:22:16.000
Which one do you want?

1353
01:22:16.000 --> 01:22:19.000
Do you want to go where your, where your spirit finds peace?

1354
01:22:19.000 --> 01:22:21.000
Or do you want to go where your soul finds peace?

1355
01:22:21.000 --> 01:22:23.000
Sometimes it will be in the same place,

1356
01:22:23.000 --> 01:22:25.000
but sometimes your spirit will find peace

1357
01:22:25.000 --> 01:22:28.000
in the place of your soul's greatest fear.

1358
01:22:28.000 --> 01:22:32.000
Not always, because you may not be mature to the point,

1359
01:22:32.000 --> 01:22:35.000
you know, in your faith that, because your faith,

1360
01:22:35.000 --> 01:22:37.000
if you're going to step out on that thing,

1361
01:22:37.000 --> 01:22:40.000
your faith has to actually be,

1362
01:22:40.000 --> 01:22:42.000
your faith has to be mature to the point that

1363
01:22:42.000 --> 01:22:46.000
if you stepped out on it, it would sustain you in reality.

1364
01:22:46.000 --> 01:22:47.000
So don't just say, oh my goodness,

1365
01:22:47.000 --> 01:22:49.000
I believe God's going to give me a million dollars,

1366
01:22:49.000 --> 01:22:53.000
so I'm going to go sign, sign a check today.

1367
01:22:53.000 --> 01:22:55.000
No, we're making that up out of nowhere.

1368
01:22:55.000 --> 01:22:57.000
You know, we, we don't have,

1369
01:22:57.000 --> 01:23:00.000
or at least I don't have the, have the faith yet,

1370
01:23:00.000 --> 01:23:01.000
you know, or whatever.

1371
01:23:01.000 --> 01:23:04.000
Now if God's, you know, came to me, you know,

1372
01:23:04.000 --> 01:23:06.000
and said it in a particular form, then I, then,

1373
01:23:06.000 --> 01:23:07.000
you know, then I might.

1374
01:23:07.000 --> 01:23:11.000
But if he also came to me tonight in a dream and said that,

1375
01:23:11.000 --> 01:23:12.000
oh, I don't know.

1376
01:23:12.000 --> 01:23:13.000
I'd be like, you know what?

1377
01:23:13.000 --> 01:23:16.000
I probably need to get like 10 different opinions

1378
01:23:16.000 --> 01:23:18.000
about the interpretation of that dream.

1379
01:23:18.000 --> 01:23:20.000
You know, what it could possibly mean.

1380
01:23:20.000 --> 01:23:21.000
You know, I would doubt it.

1381
01:23:21.000 --> 01:23:24.000
So in other words, go wherever your faith is at.

1382
01:23:24.000 --> 01:23:27.000
There's no condemnation for going wherever your faith is at.

1383
01:23:27.000 --> 01:23:30.000
If you're five, be five.

1384
01:23:30.000 --> 01:23:34.000
If you're five years old in, in, in faith,

1385
01:23:34.000 --> 01:23:37.000
you're not expected to act like you're 35.

1386
01:23:37.000 --> 01:23:41.000
You'll be 35 one day, but you're not today.

1387
01:23:41.000 --> 01:23:43.000
And so God's saying, be five.

1388
01:23:43.000 --> 01:23:47.000
So if your soul, if your spirit finds peace, you know,

1389
01:23:47.000 --> 01:23:49.000
where your soul does, then go with that.

1390
01:23:49.000 --> 01:23:51.000
It doesn't mean that, that it's wrong.

1391
01:23:51.000 --> 01:23:54.000
So anyway, but I said, out of the both of them,

1392
01:23:54.000 --> 01:23:58.000
I'm going to risk myself and my, my, my food,

1393
01:23:58.000 --> 01:24:03.000
my future possibilities, a relationship that might,

1394
01:24:03.000 --> 01:24:06.000
where someone might think badly of me if I get to such a bad point

1395
01:24:06.000 --> 01:24:09.000
where I actually have to ask somebody else for food.

1396
01:24:09.000 --> 01:24:11.000
And then they wonder what it is that I did with my budget.

1397
01:24:11.000 --> 01:24:14.000
Well, with my last little bit, I spent it on a fan, you know,

1398
01:24:14.000 --> 01:24:15.000
I mean, that's embarrassing.

1399
01:24:15.000 --> 01:24:17.000
And then they're going to remember that.

1400
01:24:17.000 --> 01:24:20.000
And I mean, I mean, it sounds funny, but in dire situations, I,

1401
01:24:20.000 --> 01:24:23.000
trust me in Walmart, that's what was going through my mind.

1402
01:24:23.000 --> 01:24:25.000
I was, I was thinking of reputations.

1403
01:24:25.000 --> 01:24:28.000
I was thinking like if word gets out, if something, you know, if,

1404
01:24:28.000 --> 01:24:31.000
you know, if, if, if, if my, if my,

1405
01:24:31.000 --> 01:24:36.000
if I end up bearing a particular type of consequence that makes my

1406
01:24:36.000 --> 01:24:40.000
decision and my risk public, you know,

1407
01:24:40.000 --> 01:24:42.000
I'm like, okay, that's what I'm risking.

1408
01:24:42.000 --> 01:24:43.000
That's what I'm risking here.

1409
01:24:43.000 --> 01:24:47.000
And it sounds like such a little deal, but this isn't a little deal.

1410
01:24:47.000 --> 01:24:50.000
It's dealing with a very serious thing.

1411
01:24:50.000 --> 01:24:53.000
The point isn't how much money it was and how much money I had in the

1412
01:24:53.000 --> 01:24:54.000
bank.

1413
01:24:54.000 --> 01:24:56.000
The point is how it was affecting me.

1414
01:24:56.000 --> 01:25:00.000
It's getting at this deep rooted lie that I had about God.

1415
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:05.580
God, and I'm trying to overcome and say, no, God has said something different and I'm going

1416
01:25:05.580 --> 01:25:06.580
to receive his word.

1417
01:25:06.580 --> 01:25:09.900
But I'm trying to figure out where his, where's his word, where's his word speaking?

1418
01:25:09.900 --> 01:25:11.460
Who is it that he's saying that he is?

1419
01:25:11.460 --> 01:25:16.120
So my spirit, where does my, my spirit knows God, my spirit seeing God, where has my spirit

1420
01:25:16.120 --> 01:25:19.220
matured to the point where I sense that he is?

1421
01:25:19.220 --> 01:25:20.220
And I chose this one.

1422
01:25:20.220 --> 01:25:22.260
So I told God, I want to believe that you're that.

1423
01:25:22.260 --> 01:25:26.460
So I'm going to take this and I, and I picked up the, and I picked up the box and I said,

1424
01:25:26.460 --> 01:25:29.580
God, in my mind, God, I believe you are this good.

1425
01:25:29.580 --> 01:25:30.860
This is why I am picking this.

1426
01:25:30.860 --> 01:25:32.300
I'm not picking it because I'm wanting it.

1427
01:25:32.300 --> 01:25:34.860
I'm picking it because I'm, I'm seeking you.

1428
01:25:34.860 --> 01:25:38.660
I'm seeking your character, not your manifestation, not my comfort.

1429
01:25:38.660 --> 01:25:43.060
I am seeking, where are you and what do you look like and what does love and goodness

1430
01:25:43.060 --> 01:25:44.060
look like?

1431
01:25:44.060 --> 01:25:49.620
And I picked up the fan saying, this is why I'm getting this one and I took it back, um,

1432
01:25:49.620 --> 01:25:50.620
works great.

1433
01:25:50.620 --> 01:25:51.620
Um, everything was fine.

1434
01:25:51.620 --> 01:25:58.680
Would you know that central air I think was off for at least a month and a half.

1435
01:25:58.680 --> 01:26:07.520
And would you know that that fan from Walmart, which had a one year warranty, went out when

1436
01:26:07.520 --> 01:26:11.000
the central air came back on.

1437
01:26:11.000 --> 01:26:12.000
It broke.

1438
01:26:12.000 --> 01:26:14.200
I don't, I don't know how it stopped working.

1439
01:26:14.200 --> 01:26:18.360
It's like, Oh, I got the big one.

1440
01:26:18.360 --> 01:26:19.360
The $17 one.

1441
01:26:19.360 --> 01:26:20.360
I'm sorry.

1442
01:26:20.360 --> 01:26:21.360
I'm sorry.

1443
01:26:21.360 --> 01:26:22.360
Yeah.

1444
01:26:22.360 --> 01:26:23.360
I got $17 one.

1445
01:26:23.360 --> 01:26:28.200
No, I didn't because it had served its purpose and I loved that.

1446
01:26:28.720 --> 01:26:29.720
I'm like, that is my God.

1447
01:26:29.720 --> 01:26:33.760
He supplied for me and I don't need it anymore.

1448
01:26:33.760 --> 01:26:34.760
I don't need it.

1449
01:26:34.760 --> 01:26:37.360
I didn't need to get my money back.

1450
01:26:37.360 --> 01:26:42.760
I loved not getting my money back because I didn't need the money.

1451
01:26:42.760 --> 01:26:47.000
My God just proves that he provides for me.

1452
01:26:47.000 --> 01:26:48.560
So anyway, it was, it was really neat.

1453
01:26:48.560 --> 01:26:52.700
So that is how I learned to make decisions in Walmart and now that's how I teach everybody

1454
01:26:52.700 --> 01:26:59.020
else to do it because I do that in very big decisions, very big decisions.

1455
01:26:59.020 --> 01:27:04.620
So the last thing that I want to say in connecting the desires of our heart with making decisions

1456
01:27:04.620 --> 01:27:11.380
is understand you can start taking risks by without waiting, Oh God, what are you saying

1457
01:27:11.380 --> 01:27:12.380
about you?

1458
01:27:12.380 --> 01:27:13.380
Remember me with the fan.

1459
01:27:13.380 --> 01:27:16.620
I'm like, I'm trying to figure out which, which one are you saying you are?

1460
01:27:16.620 --> 01:27:21.340
Are you saying that your responsibility and wisdom God, and that's the one I need to pick?

1461
01:27:21.340 --> 01:27:24.620
Or are you saying that, that your love and your goodness is coming through wisdom because

1462
01:27:24.620 --> 01:27:25.700
this is you?

1463
01:27:25.700 --> 01:27:28.460
Or are you saying that your love and your wisdom is coming in a different way?

1464
01:27:28.460 --> 01:27:35.540
Like maybe I might term it as, as abundance or as, or as, or as luxury or as, um, as whatever,

1465
01:27:35.540 --> 01:27:38.460
you know, where, where are you currently, Lord?

1466
01:27:38.460 --> 01:27:41.560
What is, what are you saying about yourself?

1467
01:27:41.560 --> 01:27:45.660
That's what it is that God honors and that's why I picked up that box and it was like,

1468
01:27:45.660 --> 01:27:46.660
this is who God is.

1469
01:27:46.660 --> 01:27:50.300
God, this is how I'm picking this box because I'm declaring this as who you are.

1470
01:27:50.300 --> 01:27:54.900
When you're making decisions and when you are, um, and you're wondering, what does God

1471
01:27:54.900 --> 01:27:55.900
want me to do?

1472
01:27:55.900 --> 01:27:58.860
Does God want me to do this in my business or not?

1473
01:27:58.860 --> 01:28:03.860
Make your decisions not based off of what it is that you want to do or what it is that

1474
01:28:03.860 --> 01:28:13.180
you think is wise, pick, make your decisions, um, and even don't even make your decisions

1475
01:28:13.180 --> 01:28:16.660
based off of how it is that it affects you.

1476
01:28:16.660 --> 01:28:24.100
Make your, I encourage you to expand your world into the limitless, into being able

1477
01:28:24.100 --> 01:28:27.860
to receive the limitlessness of God, which we can't dictate to him because we can only

1478
01:28:27.860 --> 01:28:33.700
ask for him what it is that we know and we have, and we have context for.

1479
01:28:33.700 --> 01:28:38.020
You would have to allow the limitlessness of God by not being able to dictate it because

1480
01:28:38.020 --> 01:28:41.620
you can't dictate limitlessness because you've never been exposed to it before.

1481
01:28:41.620 --> 01:28:50.420
So, so anyway, when, um, I pick a decision based off of God according to how my relationship

1482
01:28:50.420 --> 01:28:56.900
with you, we're doing this together, my relationship with you has developed this far, I, I'm looking

1483
01:28:56.900 --> 01:28:58.900
for your character.

1484
01:28:58.900 --> 01:28:59.900
Where are you?

1485
01:28:59.900 --> 01:29:01.660
Because I want to look like you.

1486
01:29:01.660 --> 01:29:04.660
You're maturing me to look like you.

1487
01:29:04.660 --> 01:29:06.420
What do you, what do you look like?

1488
01:29:06.420 --> 01:29:11.740
Not what I think from Sunday school and from how I've traditionally viewed the Bible with

1489
01:29:11.740 --> 01:29:18.020
such limitlessness, according to a very limited, you know, filter, so in such limitlessness,

1490
01:29:18.020 --> 01:29:23.500
how I think that the Bible is supposed to be interpreted, he's a being, he's a being.

1491
01:29:23.500 --> 01:29:29.340
So in your experience and relationship of, um, that's been developed with this being,

1492
01:29:29.340 --> 01:29:36.180
who does your, where does your spirit, your spirit sense the character of the God to,

1493
01:29:36.180 --> 01:29:42.220
to whom you've, you've come to know him thus far?

1494
01:29:42.220 --> 01:29:47.140
What is the God that you've come to know thus far, the degree of intimacy and, and, and

1495
01:29:47.140 --> 01:29:53.780
to which that you've abided in him, where do you find that and pick it to start acting

1496
01:29:53.780 --> 01:29:57.380
like the character of God, to start acting like your father?

1497
01:29:57.380 --> 01:30:00.020
Pick what you believe is a reflection.

1498
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:02.560
of the character of God.

1499
01:30:02.560 --> 01:30:06.800
And trust that when you do it from that place,

1500
01:30:06.800 --> 01:30:10.200
trust the desires of your heart.

1501
01:30:10.200 --> 01:30:13.680
But listen to your spirit, not your soul,

1502
01:30:13.680 --> 01:30:15.180
that's gonna usually,

1503
01:30:15.180 --> 01:30:17.200
until it comes into alignment with God,

1504
01:30:17.200 --> 01:30:19.120
is gonna be making its decisions

1505
01:30:19.120 --> 01:30:22.240
and its beliefs of the desires of its heart

1506
01:30:22.240 --> 01:30:24.680
based off of fear and past traumas,

1507
01:30:24.680 --> 01:30:25.960
and it's trying to cope.

1508
01:30:26.800 --> 01:30:31.000
So the desires of your heart are deeper

1509
01:30:31.000 --> 01:30:32.840
than where it is, than the place

1510
01:30:32.840 --> 01:30:35.040
from which we're making decisions out of fear.

1511
01:30:35.040 --> 01:30:36.960
So we have to ignore that one.

1512
01:30:36.960 --> 01:30:38.600
But the place of the desires of your heart

1513
01:30:38.600 --> 01:30:41.420
is a good thing, follow it.

1514
01:30:41.420 --> 01:30:44.280
Believe, stepping out in that aspect

1515
01:30:44.280 --> 01:30:46.120
of the desires of your heart

1516
01:30:46.120 --> 01:30:50.720
is actually believing that what God says is true

1517
01:30:50.720 --> 01:30:52.840
because he says that you are good

1518
01:30:52.840 --> 01:30:55.280
and that good things come out of you.

1519
01:30:55.280 --> 01:30:56.760
If you believe it,

1520
01:30:56.760 --> 01:30:58.680
and if you believe that there are good things in you

1521
01:30:58.680 --> 01:31:00.680
and that you have good desires of your heart

1522
01:31:00.680 --> 01:31:02.240
and you're shifted into the spirit

1523
01:31:02.240 --> 01:31:05.160
and you sense, I believe that this is the desire of my heart

1524
01:31:05.160 --> 01:31:09.960
and in creation, I desire my spirit,

1525
01:31:09.960 --> 01:31:11.160
not my soul that's in fear

1526
01:31:11.160 --> 01:31:12.720
or that wants something to self-preserve

1527
01:31:12.720 --> 01:31:14.600
because I think I could get a lot of money or whatever.

1528
01:31:14.600 --> 01:31:15.480
No, no, no, my spirit.

1529
01:31:15.480 --> 01:31:17.460
Where does my spirit want it?

1530
01:31:18.800 --> 01:31:20.920
Where does my spirit seek to express

1531
01:31:20.920 --> 01:31:21.960
the desires of its heart?

1532
01:31:21.960 --> 01:31:25.520
My spirit, Lord, desires this

1533
01:31:25.520 --> 01:31:27.680
and my spirit always desires you

1534
01:31:27.680 --> 01:31:29.320
and always desires to look like you.

1535
01:31:29.320 --> 01:31:31.720
So that's why the desires of your heart

1536
01:31:31.720 --> 01:31:33.520
when you make them from your spirit

1537
01:31:33.520 --> 01:31:38.120
match who it is that you think the character of God is.

1538
01:31:40.480 --> 01:31:43.520
And make that decision and step out saying,

1539
01:31:43.520 --> 01:31:46.860
God, remember, because faith without works is dead.

1540
01:31:46.860 --> 01:31:49.920
So if you truly believe it, you'll do it.

1541
01:31:50.720 --> 01:31:53.400
And whatever you choose, own the decision.

1542
01:31:53.400 --> 01:31:58.240
And God honors the fact that if God honors us making

1543
01:31:58.240 --> 01:32:00.800
and loves and is pleased by the fact

1544
01:32:00.800 --> 01:32:03.600
that we make a decision based off of how we're seeking,

1545
01:32:03.600 --> 01:32:06.560
because if we choose it because we say,

1546
01:32:06.560 --> 01:32:09.160
God, I think that's who you are

1547
01:32:09.160 --> 01:32:11.400
and that's why I'm picking it.

1548
01:32:11.400 --> 01:32:13.600
I'm not picking it out of fear.

1549
01:32:13.600 --> 01:32:16.760
And my soul may like it, it may not, that doesn't matter.

1550
01:32:16.760 --> 01:32:18.720
If your soul likes it, it doesn't mean it's bad.

1551
01:32:18.720 --> 01:32:22.280
So go where your, forget whatever your soul is doing,

1552
01:32:22.280 --> 01:32:26.520
whether it likes what your spirit's doing or not, it's fine.

1553
01:32:26.520 --> 01:32:31.080
But go where your spirit senses is the character of God

1554
01:32:31.080 --> 01:32:32.040
and step out in it.

1555
01:32:32.040 --> 01:32:34.000
And God, then God, what God will do,

1556
01:32:34.000 --> 01:32:35.740
remember God doesn't move a parked car.

1557
01:32:35.740 --> 01:32:36.580
God wants you to move.

1558
01:32:36.580 --> 01:32:38.460
He won't violate your free will.

1559
01:32:38.460 --> 01:32:41.680
So start moving and then the two of you can guide together.

1560
01:32:41.680 --> 01:32:42.840
So step out in it.

1561
01:32:42.840 --> 01:32:46.340
It doesn't mean that that's what God looks like,

1562
01:32:47.340 --> 01:32:48.780
but that's not the point.

1563
01:32:48.780 --> 01:32:49.860
God's so excited.

1564
01:32:49.860 --> 01:32:51.500
He's like, you think that of me?

1565
01:32:52.540 --> 01:32:53.980
I like that.

1566
01:32:53.980 --> 01:32:56.140
I like the fact that you believe I would,

1567
01:32:56.140 --> 01:32:58.820
that what you think that looks like love and goodness

1568
01:32:58.820 --> 01:33:00.980
and you've interpreted in your mind to mean that.

1569
01:33:00.980 --> 01:33:04.100
And you're saying that that's who I am.

1570
01:33:04.100 --> 01:33:05.380
And that is beautiful.

1571
01:33:05.380 --> 01:33:06.220
That's wonderful.

1572
01:33:06.220 --> 01:33:07.540
I feel loved.

1573
01:33:07.540 --> 01:33:11.000
I love that that's why you chose that decision.

1574
01:33:12.140 --> 01:33:14.340
Now that you've made that decision,

1575
01:33:14.420 --> 01:33:17.100
I want to reveal something more to you about myself

1576
01:33:17.100 --> 01:33:18.860
that you didn't know.

1577
01:33:18.860 --> 01:33:22.300
And you didn't, and unless you know,

1578
01:33:22.300 --> 01:33:24.220
as I'm maturing you in wisdom,

1579
01:33:24.220 --> 01:33:28.820
that actually doesn't reflect my character.

1580
01:33:28.820 --> 01:33:31.420
But I'm just gonna father you into that.

1581
01:33:31.420 --> 01:33:34.100
And we're just gonna learn this together.

1582
01:33:34.100 --> 01:33:37.140
But he likes the fact that you made the decision

1583
01:33:37.140 --> 01:33:39.920
because you made it seeking him.

1584
01:33:39.920 --> 01:33:43.380
So God, so what God is doing

1585
01:33:43.380 --> 01:33:47.340
is God is judging us by the intent of our heart

1586
01:33:47.340 --> 01:33:50.100
in seeking him

1587
01:33:50.100 --> 01:33:54.400
instead of seeking to quiet our own fear.

1588
01:33:55.780 --> 01:34:00.660
So feel, so that is where you can feel safe

1589
01:34:00.660 --> 01:34:04.580
with risking decisions, risking your heart,

1590
01:34:04.580 --> 01:34:06.900
risking the desires of your heart

1591
01:34:06.900 --> 01:34:10.580
when you don't hear very clearly God saying,

1592
01:34:10.580 --> 01:34:13.180
thou shalt do this.

1593
01:34:13.940 --> 01:34:15.540
That makes us feel a bit more secure.

1594
01:34:15.540 --> 01:34:18.020
But if we don't hear it, then we feel insecure

1595
01:34:18.020 --> 01:34:19.700
and we're like, I don't know what to do.

1596
01:34:19.700 --> 01:34:21.900
What if I make the wrong decision

1597
01:34:21.900 --> 01:34:25.060
and I have to bear the consequences

1598
01:34:25.060 --> 01:34:26.940
of having done any wrong thing?

1599
01:34:26.940 --> 01:34:29.820
Remember, God's like, what's the intent of your heart?

1600
01:34:29.820 --> 01:34:32.460
Are you seeking to look and act like me?

1601
01:34:32.460 --> 01:34:35.140
And that's why you chose that decision.

1602
01:34:35.140 --> 01:34:39.100
Not who you think that I am based off of,

1603
01:34:39.100 --> 01:34:42.460
well, it says in 1 Corinthians and da, da, da, da, da,

1604
01:34:42.580 --> 01:34:44.700
in making it all about the head.

1605
01:34:44.700 --> 01:34:46.420
Now, sure, if it says it in 1 Corinthians

1606
01:34:46.420 --> 01:34:48.900
and you know that about God and your personal relationship,

1607
01:34:48.900 --> 01:34:50.180
that's perfectly fine.

1608
01:34:50.180 --> 01:34:52.740
I'm saying that ignoring a being

1609
01:34:52.740 --> 01:34:54.300
that you have a personal, intimate,

1610
01:34:54.300 --> 01:34:55.740
spiritual relationship with,

1611
01:34:55.740 --> 01:34:59.140
ignoring that aspect and trying to look for an answer

1612
01:34:59.140 --> 01:35:01.060
outside of your heart.

1613
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:03.520
of yourself, outside of your union with God,

1614
01:35:03.520 --> 01:35:06.280
outside of God, I wanna say outside of yourself,

1615
01:35:06.280 --> 01:35:08.920
meaning outside of the spirit that's connected to God.

1616
01:35:08.920 --> 01:35:10.320
I'm not talking about look to yourself

1617
01:35:10.320 --> 01:35:13.480
in isolation for wisdom, I don't mean that.

1618
01:35:13.480 --> 01:35:16.360
Who you are, your spirit, as one with God,

1619
01:35:16.360 --> 01:35:17.840
that's what I'm talking about.

1620
01:35:17.840 --> 01:35:19.800
I know God might affirm it to you in the Bible,

1621
01:35:19.800 --> 01:35:22.120
and that's great, but the reason that you're choosing

1622
01:35:22.120 --> 01:35:24.920
what you're choosing is I am unified in marriage,

1623
01:35:24.920 --> 01:35:26.640
in a covenant marriage with a being,

1624
01:35:26.640 --> 01:35:29.600
and that is who I am seeking to find,

1625
01:35:29.600 --> 01:35:34.600
where is the, what decision, how can I start acting like,

1626
01:35:38.040 --> 01:35:41.360
I'm being matured to act like God,

1627
01:35:41.360 --> 01:35:43.720
how do I think that he would act,

1628
01:35:43.720 --> 01:35:46.280
based off of the fact that I've been living with him,

1629
01:35:46.280 --> 01:35:49.400
and abiding with him, and watch him do all kinds of things

1630
01:35:49.400 --> 01:35:50.920
that I would have never expected.

1631
01:35:50.920 --> 01:35:54.480
Now that I know that being, what do I think

1632
01:35:54.480 --> 01:35:57.240
reflects that being, and okay God, I'm gonna do this

1633
01:35:57.240 --> 01:35:59.600
because I think this looks like you.

1634
01:35:59.600 --> 01:36:04.280
God loves that, and he gives us a safe environment

1635
01:36:04.280 --> 01:36:09.280
in which to make mistakes, because of why we chose it.

1636
01:36:09.480 --> 01:36:12.560
He judges us on the intent of our heart,

1637
01:36:12.560 --> 01:36:16.200
not on the outward circumstances of our behavior.

1638
01:36:17.400 --> 01:36:21.480
It's not about what you do, it's about how you be,

1639
01:36:21.480 --> 01:36:24.380
about who, it's about how you, how you,

1640
01:36:25.340 --> 01:36:27.500
that how you live from who it is that you are.

1641
01:36:27.500 --> 01:36:30.300
Again, spirit, we always have to flow in life,

1642
01:36:30.300 --> 01:36:32.100
we always have to operate in spirit.

1643
01:36:33.340 --> 01:36:38.340
Okay, so that is, that's the last thing that I had,

1644
01:36:38.540 --> 01:36:40.620
so we're gonna play a song really quick,

1645
01:36:40.620 --> 01:36:44.460
and then we are gonna have, what time is it?

1646
01:36:44.460 --> 01:36:47.580
Well, okay, so it is five, so for any of you

1647
01:36:47.580 --> 01:36:49.460
who would like to stay for just a little bit,

1648
01:36:49.460 --> 01:36:52.980
we'll just stay for, instead of, yeah,

1649
01:36:53.020 --> 01:36:55.180
so we'll just stay for just a little bit,

1650
01:36:55.180 --> 01:36:56.500
for any of you who would like to,

1651
01:36:56.500 --> 01:36:58.100
if you really have to leave because it's five,

1652
01:36:58.100 --> 01:37:00.500
do not worry about it, please feel free,

1653
01:37:00.500 --> 01:37:03.660
but we'll just combine testimony and question

1654
01:37:03.660 --> 01:37:06.860
and answer time, and if you have something to say,

1655
01:37:06.860 --> 01:37:09.140
you know, we'll pass around a microphone,

1656
01:37:09.140 --> 01:37:12.300
and then when we're done with that, we can all leave.

1657
01:37:12.300 --> 01:37:14.580
So thank you all so much for coming,

1658
01:37:14.580 --> 01:37:18.020
and we'll just, we'll play this one last song real quick.

1659
01:37:19.020 --> 01:37:19.860
Okay.

1660
01:37:27.020 --> 01:37:30.420
♪ I come out of agreement ♪

1661
01:37:30.420 --> 01:37:35.420
♪ With the lie that you have left me on my own ♪

1662
01:37:35.740 --> 01:37:39.420
♪ Oh, I am not alone ♪

1663
01:37:39.420 --> 01:37:42.900
♪ I come out of agreement ♪

1664
01:37:42.900 --> 01:37:47.900
♪ With the worry and the fear I've come to know ♪

1665
01:37:48.140 --> 01:37:52.660
♪ They won't have a hold on me ♪

1666
01:37:52.660 --> 01:37:57.660
♪ Protector, you never, never, never let me go ♪

1667
01:38:01.780 --> 01:38:06.780
♪ You said you wouldn't leave me and you won't ♪

1668
01:38:06.820 --> 01:38:11.420
♪ You're right by my side ♪

1669
01:38:11.420 --> 01:38:16.420
♪ Protector, I come into agreement ♪

1670
01:38:19.020 --> 01:38:24.020
♪ With the truth that you are who you say you are ♪

1671
01:38:25.020 --> 01:38:30.020
♪ I can trust your heart, I come into agreement ♪

1672
01:38:32.020 --> 01:38:37.020
♪ With what heaven has declared over my life ♪

1673
01:38:38.020 --> 01:38:42.020
♪ Cause I know that you'll fight for me ♪

1674
01:38:42.020 --> 01:38:47.020
♪ Protector, you never, never, never let me go ♪

1675
01:38:51.020 --> 01:38:56.020
♪ You said you wouldn't leave me and you won't ♪

1676
01:38:56.020 --> 01:39:01.020
♪ You're right by my side ♪

1677
01:39:01.020 --> 01:39:06.020
♪ Protector, you hide me in the shadow of your wings ♪

1678
01:39:07.020 --> 01:39:12.020
♪ Your presence is my peace, my covering, my song in the night ♪

1679
01:39:19.020 --> 01:39:22.020
♪ Protector, Protector ♪

1680
01:39:22.020 --> 01:39:27.020
♪ Protector, Protector ♪

1681
01:39:33.020 --> 01:39:38.020
♪ No weapon, no worry will prosper against me ♪

1682
01:39:39.020 --> 01:39:44.020
♪ No darkness, no evil will tease or torment me ♪

1683
01:39:45.020 --> 01:39:50.020
♪ No weapon, no worry will prosper against me ♪

1684
01:39:51.020 --> 01:39:56.020
♪ No darkness, no evil will tease or torment me ♪

1685
01:39:57.020 --> 01:40:00.020
♪ Oh, power of dominion ♪

1686
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:25.000
♪ Do what name is given, my fortress, my freedom, my refuge, my Jesus. All power come in you. Do what name is given, my fortress, my freedom, my refuge, my Jesus.

1687
01:40:25.000 --> 01:40:44.000
♪ Protector, you would never, never, never let me go. You said you wouldn't leave me and you were, you're right by my side.

1688
01:40:44.000 --> 01:41:03.000
♪ Protector, you hide me in the shadow of your wings. Your presence is my peace, my covering, my song in the night.

1689
01:41:03.000 --> 01:41:32.000
♪ Protector, oh, Protector. I believe it, I believe it. You are who you say you are. You never ever leave, you never ever leave, no.

1690
01:41:32.000 --> 01:41:48.000
♪ Let that faith rise up in us tonight. Let that faith rise up in us tonight. As fear is broken up, as fear falls away, as worry is silenced.

1691
01:41:48.000 --> 01:42:05.000
♪ At the sound of your name tonight, Jesus. Oh.

1692
01:42:05.000 --> 01:42:30.000
♪ No weapon, no worry will prosper against me. No darkness, no evil will tease or torment me. No weapon, no worry will prosper against me. No darkness, no evil will tease or torment me.

1693
01:42:30.000 --> 01:42:48.000
♪ Oh, power come in to what name is given. My fortress, my freedom, my refuge, my Jesus. Oh, power come in to what name is given.

1694
01:42:48.000 --> 01:43:16.000
♪ My fortress, my freedom, my refuge, my Jesus. Protector, you never, never, never let me go. You said you wouldn't leave me and you won't. You're right by my side.

1695
01:43:16.000 --> 01:43:35.000
♪ Protector, you hide me in the shadow of your wings. Your presence is my peace, my covering, my song in the night.

1696
01:43:35.000 --> 01:43:52.000
♪ Protector, oh. Protector, oh. Protector.