Merry Christmas from Norway. Hi everyone. In Norway we celebrate on the 24th, we don't celebrate on the 25th, so we have decorated a Christmas tree and we eat together, we have like a really nice meal on the 24th and then we go to church together.
And then in the end we gather in front of the Christmas tree and we open presents at night, so there's no opening on the 25th.
So I just wanted to say, pop by quickly and say Merry Christmas. And yeah, I'm sorry this is such a late journey share.
I was really, really happy to meet you guys during the rest group. I don't know, maybe I just felt a bit lonely going through this alone here in Norway with Ashley.
It has been super great, but just no one around me really understands what I'm going through. I share with them, I have really great friends that I can share with.
But some of the things that the Holy Spirit has been doing in me through this group is so deep things that I haven't been able to articulate it.
It's just been like, there's something deep, it's about rest, it's about learning to live in a different way, it's about letting go, it's about union with God.
I try to explain, but it doesn't really cover what I'm going through. So when I met you guys during the rest group, it was so great just to feel a part of, with someone that actually understands exactly what it is.
And you guys are going through the same thing. So thank you so much. Thanks so much for encouraging me and for just being there.
Now I know you're out there in the world and going through the exact same things.
And I actually barely managed to come and do a journey share right now. It's been, and I've been putting it off.
It's been a really busy week because I travel, this is my hometown, and I traveled by car five hours and I've been a bit in and out.
Busy work ending and then traveling home for Christmas. So it's been, and lots of Christmas parties and things going on.
I bet some of you also probably have been busy this week.
So, but also it's been, I haven't really known what to share and things have been also hard.
So I think I haven't really known how to express that or talk about it with you.
So, what can I say? I think it hit me. It's been, sometimes when you're going through something, it's challenging, but you're going through it and you just have to.
But then your body has time to relax. It's holidays, you come home and then suddenly it all hits you.
So the thing that happened in the church and that I actually have now a challenging relationship with several people in the church and it happened like that.
I think it really got to me because I really need to be in myself. I really want to do everything I can to be in a right relationship with someone.
And when things don't work out right away, I often end up in a lot of condemnation and self-doubt and what can I have done better?
Or what did I do wrong this time? And why? And also at the same time, it also becomes an accusation against them and against God.
Sometimes, like, why did they treat me like this? So it just hit me that I was part of, by opening up and sharing about my life that Sunday, it started like a little struggle.
Not a war maybe, but a little struggle, a big struggle in the church. So I was kind of the one causing it by opening up.
And just when you start to go into it and try to fix things, also sometimes it becomes more messy because more people get involved and then they react to what you're doing or you react to what they're doing.
So then the issue kind of started like this small and then it grows when you're trying to solve it.
So I think that hit me my part in that and also the realizing that part of me
struggled to trust them and to believe the best about them and that that is
something coming from I think rejection wounds in me like pain from my past that
it makes it sometimes hard to trust people. So one night I spent time with
Jesus because it just came up became so much in my life condemnation and that
all these struggles with people and how am I gonna carry this how I'm gonna
carry this because some of it has opened up for conflict that we need to go
through we see that we are affected by our past our wounds and there are things
that God needs to heal in us and mend in the relationship and to build trust
again so I think in several relationships we decided to do to have a
commitment to each other and we are gonna go through it but it's not gonna
happen super fast it might take time we might need to talk to each other once
twice five times and pray together through it to get through it and not
just like oh I forgive you and then it's fine this time it's been like no it's
gonna be a process to trust again and to so we need to have maybe multiple
talks with some of the people that were affected and that of course requires
more of me and of us because it's easy sometimes it's easy for me just to
forgive but then I just distance myself a little bit from them afterwards you
know what I mean you love them and you respect them and you forgive them but a
little part of you is just like okay I'm just not gonna go deep with her
anymore I'm not gonna share as much or I'm just gonna have a little bit of a
distance and I think that is what God is challenging me to not do to go through
it and to actually where you come to a point where you actually become closer
to the ones that hurt you and that you might have heard too and that takes more
time and more talks more prayer more grace and a lot more love and
overbearing especially if you feel like the other part is not seeing it and not
taking their responsibility then I still need to take responsibility for my own
things so oh my gosh this is gonna be a quick sharing but I asked the Holy
Spirit to talk them through me so maybe this makes sense to some of you anyways
it just culminated in a lot of condemnation a lot of rejection feeling
and what am I gonna do now and what have I caused and I spent time one night
just praying out calling out to God and also maybe with this rest feeling like I
hit like a little bit of a roadblock in like is this really real now it's gonna
end in 31st of December what was this do I really believe in this suddenly there
came a lot of doubt is this really working and also I think that to one
extent I was feeling like I was thinking that I shouldn't feel when I had bad
feelings I thought it was wrong oh no I'm supposed to feel rest oh no I'm
supposed to feel peace it's not supposed to be this way oh I'm doing
something wrong and then I thought over so then I struggled and felt condemned
every time I would feel sad or upset or angry or something and think that I was
doing something wrong and maybe this rest thing doesn't work because I'm
angry and then I remembered that I actually said that if you just accept
the feelings of anger and sadness or resentment or whatever then you will
pass more quickly through it because so then I thought so maybe rest is not
about avoiding those feelings the anger and the sadness maybe it's not that oh
you're doing something wrong or you're not if you were really in rest you
wouldn't feel angry maybe it's that I'm opening up a space for it and allowing
it but moving through it quickly so that the anger will subside and that I can
cry or get things out and then move on so that's some of the processes and one
night I really spent time just choosing God even even now that I have all this
doubt even though I don't know if this working I feel anger and sadness and a
lot of feelings that makes me feel like I'm not in rest I spent time just I just
choose you and even though I don't feel it even though I don't even know what to
think or feel anymore so
And then I got a little bit better, but I feel like it's
to be honest, it is a little bit of a
Going up and down and also challenges with being back for Christmas, which I'm sure that maybe some of you also feel
That there are challenges with being with family and there's challenging with challenges with with seeing
Loved ones again and things come up
So I would love to talk to you guys about that and share more when we're meeting in the rest group
What I can say is that I love my family have very close family
but there are
one
Family member that decided that he didn't want to follow Jesus anymore last year
which has caused the rest of us a lot of pain and
Makes it sometimes hard around Christmas when it's about Jesus. We're gathering because he was born
So that is something that is really challenging for me to know how to meet him
How to love him and how to be a family where we share Christ together at Christmas
But he's there and he doesn't believe anymore. So I think that's
One of the challenges I face being home. I
Would love to share more and hear more of your stories this became longer than I thought
I was just gonna share do a really really quick sharing
I'm just really happy that I managed I've been it's been so hard for me to come online
This week, but I'm just happy that I got to share with you
Thanks so much for listening and
I'll talk to you guys later
Merry Merry Christmas from Norway
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