Hi you guys. I just wanted to come on here and do my journey share for the
week. Last week together I just experienced something very very
troublesome today. Very hard things today. Two things. First one is that I
wanted to share with you. The first one was that a friend that I'm leading to
Christ speaking to about God and talking to regularly wrote me in a text
and said in my opinion I felt like she was accusing me saying that oh you judge
me you're saying these things and I she said you I feel you've wronged me and
this and this is what you're saying about me and things that I don't feel
like I have said and that she was judging me for the way that I've been
in our relationship and I'm sure that I have done wrong things on this way and
maybe she's right it's about some of them but I feel like all the time I've
been open with her and tried to share Christ with love and wisdom and that
I've always been asking her how she feels along the way and said that I
definitely have blind spots I don't want to hurt you and I've taken responsibility
for the things that I see that I have done wrong so this came kind of like
felt like an attack in some of the things that she said I don't really
recognize or agree with this part of who I am oh so that rattled me and then
now I just met a friend a good friend in town and she said that she was hurt by
me and very hurt by me about something that I said and did but she doesn't
really want to talk about it and she doesn't want to go through it really and
I said well we can talk about it we can work it out um I really want to make
things right and I'm sorry if I hurt you and I'm sure we can talk through these
things we just need a few a few talks and then she doesn't want to and then I
tried again are you sure you don't want to talk about it and I was like I don't
even know what I did wrong and then she now you're overstepping my boundaries I
tried to set a boundaries and you're pushing me and and she says I'm so
shaken and I feel really really bad and I didn't really understand what what
happened and I all I could do was like I'm so sorry did not mean to hurt you I
didn't know that I was overstepping your boundaries I'm sorry if you don't
want to talk about it we don't have to and she says well the damage is already
done and Norm and then so suddenly I see like a good friend she says now I'm
gonna pull away from you and she said that and I don't yeah and I thought okay
so you think the friendship is over and I'm not gonna have the chance to to make
right to you if I've hurt you so both these two things happen today and I feel
really I feel a bit rattled and I feel definitely like the like my soul is
being under attack and at the same time I also I feel also somehow protected and
in rest it's weird as if I'm having this shield of protection around me and no
deep deep inside of me I have a feeling like maybe it's not about me maybe it's
something that they have to walk through in their own lives or I don't
think that I actually have done something wrong that it's not fixable to
them so and I kind of normally I would go into heavy shame and condemnation if
something like this happened and blame myself and try to figure out and
definitely overanalyze the situation and try to confess to every sin and
everything and now I kind of part of me is feeling rest like and I hear the
whisper of the Lord just saying I love you you're beautiful to me you don't
have to defend yourself
you are protected, your soul is protected, your body is protected, you can rest in
me, I will tell you if there's something that you've wronged someone with and
then that you need to talk to them about and you don't have to analyze, you don't
have to fix this problem, you don't even have to go into all the details of what
you said and what I said and oh maybe I should have done this or maybe I should
have done that, you can just let it go and rest and because I'm taking care of
it and I'm protecting you and you're safe, your soul is safe, your body is safe
even though you feel a bit shaken up and rattled, you're safe. So I immediately
thought oh this is oh I need the rest group and I want to tell you because it
is hard and I feel my soul is shaken and at the same time I feel the goodness of
God and him affirming me even though I don't even know what is what or how to
feel or how to respond to this or what's gonna happen to these two friendships, I
have no idea. So I just thank you for being there, thank you that I can come
and share and you guys understand. So it feels like it's hard and at the same
time it's like a victory and yes I just want to share that with you. Thanks so
much again for being there and that I could share my heart with you. Talk to
you later!