Hello! So I wanted to come on here while I was thinking about this and had a minute to
share. But the last few days have been interesting, to say the least. I had a good transformation
call with Ashley and just some of the things she encouraged me to do. But I was just driving
and I realized, I'm probably going to sound crazy. I may be like a heretic, I don't even
know. But I feel like I'm always, or I've always kind of been like, I'm just trying
to keep myself alive. I'm just trying to keep myself from God killing me. You know, by my
actions and natural health and this and that and it's my responsibility and all this stuff.
This is probably what's going to sound crazy. Just now I was like, He needs me here. And
it feels strange to even say that, but it's like, He needs me here. Because I'm a point
of contact where God meets this earth and dwells and lives inside of me as, like, this
is now the temple, you know, like, the Ark of the Covenant, like, that's me, that's you,
that's all of us. And I feel like I have just taken the mentality of like, I'm just trying
to keep myself alive. And He just, you know, barely wants me to survive until the good
bye and bye and, you know, all this stuff. And I'm just like, what if we could see it
as this thing of like, He needs me here and not like this prideful, like, I'm so great,
He needs me here. But like, saw it as like, He needs us here. Because like, if we're not here,
then how is God brought to this earth? And I've heard Tommy Miller talk about this.
But it just, it's like, it just hit me. Like, He needs me. He needs me here to influence my family
and my child and my spouse and the relationships that I have, the person I see at the grocery
store. It's like, actually, I says like, creation is waiting for the manifestation of the sons of
God. And it's like, it's like, I'm constantly just like, don't take me. I'm not ready. But
I'm not living, you know, to the point where it's just like, coming to this realization of like,
He needs me here. And it's not even on me. Like, maybe need isn't the right word, but it's like,
I only get to have this relationship with Him here on this side of heaven, you know, like,
and you know, He put me here, I'm the center of His universe, like,
and all of these things. And it's like, it just hit me like,
He needs me here. And I don't think that He just wants me barely making it my whole life.
And just barely getting through and just in trauma and hurt, pain, all of these things.
My whole life, it's like, He needs me here to manifest like, who it is that He's put me here
to be and not to just exist. And maybe I'll never do anything great. You know, maybe
maybe I'll never be anyone like, famous or like, you know, I don't know. But that just
like, He needs us here. Like, and it's not just this thing of like,
if I do this wrong or that wrong, or don't do this right or that right,
like He's going to take me from this earth, you know, like, that He actually was like,
I want to stay here for this time in the world. Like, and I need her to manifest who she is.
So that I can, you know, live through her in that way. So this all just happened. So obviously,
I'm still kind of like, processing what that means. But
I also had a dream I told
Ashley this yesterday, but I'm a dream the other night and I
Was like I dream a lot
That's always pleasant and even in this dream I was having unpleasant dreams, but I remember this very small moment
In this dream where I felt like the word was that he said to me all that matters to sleep
Is your hobbies and your relationships, that's all that matters in life are those two things
And I just it was just a very small thing and I just remember being like how can that be
like all that matters is if I pursue hobbies and
love the people in my life like
So, I don't know if that resonates with anybody else
But
Here I am rolling room
So hope you guys are having a good day and obviously I have more processing to do with all of this
I feel like it was kind of a good realization to me to be like, oh, I'm not just here
To be miserable and to smiley and to punish and to work out all these horrible things in me
Like that's not why I'm here
He needs me
Love y'all