Okay, second attempt. I'm Audra Holdsworth. I'm Ashley's younger sister and I have
two little girls who are five or almost five and six and a half. Been married for
eight and a half years and have... it took me a while to start doing this.
It's a little hard to, at least it was for me, to think that my older sister
whom I love and I talk to and we share things, but to think that she
could tell me something basically that I didn't already know that was this big
because we grew up together, we learned, I mean we had Bible classes all
through our schooling, homeschool, and it it was just a little bit hard for me to
think that she would know something this dramatic without me, but surprise. So I
had, when she originally told me about this, I was not ready and I knew I was
not ready. I had gone to different counselors throughout the last, oh man,
15 years or so and had Christian ones, or well, ones that were pastors, not really
counselors, that didn't work, and ones that were completely secular, that
didn't work, and ones that were combinations, which only one of those
started actually really helping and making me realize what was going on and
anyways, but I tried Celebrate Recovery, which was very good and helped me meet
other people who have the same, similar issues, but again it was just, it was just
talking. I didn't get a chance to do the step study because then COVID happened.
Sorry, I'm being interrupted. Mom is on the phone. No, I'm on the phone. I'll be out in five minutes.
Five minutes? Okay.
Well, Kayla, I will be back in a minute, okay? I'll be back in a minute. I didn't
know if this was gonna stay live. Apparently it is. Hi, Ashley. I thought maybe
barricading myself in the bathroom would be the best way to do this, but it's not
happening. Anyways, so, so all that and anyways, then COVID happened before
we were gonna do the step study and so that kind of fell through and then when
they came back and said they were gonna do step study again, I just felt, I didn't
feel like God wanted me to do it, which is kind of weird. I just felt like he had
something else for me, which I feel like I've been waiting for forever and ever
and ever. You know, you feel like people tell you you just don't have enough
belief and that's why you're not healed, but it's, it was never really explained
to me the spiritual realm and everything. I think people just thought, you know, you
automatically know what's going on. We grew up when we were little in a
charismatic church and it just, you know, I don't know, certain things just, you
think they're normal and you think they are the way it's supposed to be, like you
must speak in tongues. Absolutely must and if you never do, it's, it just felt
weird. It felt strange. I've always felt off on another level than everyone else
who is able to, you know, speak in the spiritual realm and everything, but
anyways, so then I started this and it was a huge, huge eye-opener. There have
been so many passages that were so confusing growing up and, you know, the
ones that didn't quite match up, people would always say, you know, it's, can't put
God in a box, which you cannot and not everything completely matches up because
we do not have the mind of God, but so many things are being put into the right
perspective in the right place. I've actually been able to speak to God
through my spirit, which I have, I mean, it was so rare. I didn't even know what I
was doing before.
And it's just absolutely amazing and freeing and this study has been
really good for that. But anyways, that's about my introduction. I've been having
fun getting to know all of y'all and I'll talk to y'all later. Bye!