We'll go ahead and get started on the last session about goals, dreams and visions, promises.
So, we'll be talking about not just the promises, you know, that God has made us and dreams
that he's just given us, but actually also dreams that we dream, how to dream and how
to start desiring again.
Talking about, excuse me, things related to like the desires of our heart, etc.
Okay, and dreams and goals could include things like, you know, business, your ideals for
your marriage, your ideals for your children, things like that.
Now, if I can figure it out, for one thing, it's important for us to, well, let me start
with this one first because I would like to make a point with the other one that I think
would help provide a bit of comfort.
I was pushing the wrong way, I should have pulled, not pushed.
Okay, so when we are dreaming or, you know, when God, let's start out with when God gives
us a goal.
God gives us a goal, we have a goal, you know, whatever.
God gives us a goal, he gives us a dream, a vision.
So, let's just put, let's see, so here's you and here is this thing, this goal, this vision,
dream that you believe, we'll make it simple, we'll say you believe God gave you that one
and maybe he actually did.
So, I'm not denying that fact.
But this goal, dream, vision, idea, promise, God has spoken to you and made a promise,
whatever.
So, what is the purpose of this thing?
We'll talk about promises in a minute because that one's a very, with that one we're going
to make a very important point.
So, let's just focus on goals, dreams, and visions right now.
When we have something like that, we like that because we want to know, it makes us,
our understanding of what's coming in the future is where we're trying to get our sense
of safety from.
And God wants to break us at that.
In other words, he wants us to get our safety from him.
That's when we can finally start to safely desire things and whatever and it not actually
be destructive to us.
But we have this, we're always wanting a goal, a dream, a vision.
Say God gives us one and so we're like, okay, this is great.
This is just what I want.
God's given me a goal for my business.
And I, and what we don't realize that we do is when God tells us something, we add all
kinds of assumptions to it.
We don't realize that we're making.
We assume that all that God has to say is one thing and all of the sudden we make all
these assumptions that, oh, well, if he said this, it obviously also means this and this
and this.
And my experience tells me that it also means this and this and this.
We don't realize how many things we are adding to God's word.
Remember how he said, his word is very important.
His word is how he's expressing himself.
He says, do not add or take away from my words.
We don't realize that when God tells us one thing, we've made all kinds of assumptions
about it.
But we have this dream or this vision in mind and what has often happened for us and which
makes us very disappointed and wondering, God, why haven't you fulfilled this thing
yet, is we've assumed in our mind what it's supposed to look like when it manifests.
What we don't realize is God didn't tell us what it was supposed to look like.
Even if he gave you a dream and you actually see it, very often what he's doing is he's
giving us something like a picture.
He's giving us something that it represents.
Or it is a picture of the real thing, but it's not the full picture.
We've decided it looks exactly like that.
If we had known that it was actually a picture
within a larger picture,
if we had known the larger picture,
we'd realize, actually, that picture that God showed me,
actually, you know, now once we finally get
to the goal, the destination, the vision,
we actually see it manifest,
all of a sudden, excuse me,
all of a sudden we realize, wait a minute,
now seeing the bigger picture,
that makes the original vision that I saw
look totally different and mean something
totally different than what I thought.
Whenever God gives us a goal or a dream,
we need to hold it very loosely.
God is not only the giver of his word,
he's also the interpreter of it.
So he gets to tell us what it looks like.
So it's very important that when we see goal,
dream, or vision, that we hold it loosely.
Why, we'll be talking about in just a second.
But the purpose of God giving us,
there's a couple of different purposes,
the other purposes we'll talk about in a second.
Right now we're gonna talk about one of the purposes
for which it's important God gives us a goal, a vision,
and another reason why if you go to a business conference
and they're talking about the importance
of having a goal and it's very vital to your business,
why is that actually of a biblical principle?
Why is that a law that actually is an operation?
What is the purpose of it?
What is that principle allowing to happen?
What it's doing, the purpose of a goal or a vision
is to give you a direction in which to start.
Because otherwise, if you have no goal, where are you going?
Lord, do you want me to go here?
Do you want me to go here?
I have an infinite number of possibilities.
I feel lost and it makes me very insecure, very unsafe.
So God's like, hey, you know what?
The whole, when you're traveling through life,
what does that mean?
That means that you and I are developing,
you and I are developing a relationship
and that is what it is that we're doing.
When you're living,
you're developing a relationship with me.
You're not passing life's milestones.
Living life is not passing life's milestones.
Living life is developing your relationship with the Lord
and manifesting it as you go.
So when God gives us a goal or a vision,
it just gives us a direction of like,
hey, we're gonna start to develop
yours and my relationship in this direction.
The whole point of a goal and a vision
is to give you a direction in which to start,
but it doesn't mean that we're gonna walk all the way there.
Doesn't mean that this is actually
what the end destination exactly looks like.
He's given us a goal or a vision.
We thought, oh, it means this and it looks like this
and we put it here.
God didn't give us this.
God gave us word.
He gave us a goal or a vision
and then we interpreted it as, oh, this must mean this
and then he gives us a direction.
We're like, okay, now I'm gonna start
planning my trajectory here.
And this is what people who speak to the law of attraction,
this is how it is that they believe that we should operate.
That we, that in order to actually get a goal,
because they say it's very, very important.
Get a dream, get a goal, get a visual.
Visualize it, smell it, see it, taste it, touch it,
start acting like it.
That they're calling it into being, right?
Well, they're trying to get it to manifest
by the tree of the knowledge of good and evil,
the source of which is man and they're trying to,
and so they're trying to drum up man's intention
and desire and will, which is a very good thing.
And they're trying to make it more and more powerful
and use it as the force in which to manifest something,
which it does, but it brings forth death
because the source of it within us,
because we're operating according to the law.
The law, when we come in contact with it,
brings death within us and that's all we have to give.
So, but the law of attraction is telling us,
or, and then we also put a godly term on it.
And if we follow a particular path towards a goal
that we believe that God said it was supposed
to look like this.
Remember, I didn't say God said it looked like that.
We believe that God said it looked like that.
And so we're holding very solid and sure to it
and we're like, God says in the Bible,
I'm supposed to be steadfast,
that I'm not supposed to be unwavering in my faith.
And we interpret it to mean that we're supposed to,
that we're supposed to be very rigid.
trajectory and God is holding us accountable to be very rigid no matter
the force of this circumstances that are cut and the opportunities that are
coming at us that we think are enemies trying to thwart us and knock us off the
path that's very often the Holy Spirit that's that we're being hit with and
we're calling it Satan so so we're like no no because God said and again we've
we don't understand no God what we're supposed to be holding on to is God's
work is God's Word and what it is that we've attached ourself to wasn't God's
Word we can hold on to God's Word in a steadfast way but he also gets to
interpret it and reveal to us what it looks like we don't have to make it
happen so what it is that we're holding steadfast to will be expanding on this
in a second what we're holding on steadfast to and unwavering to is God
the giver of the dream the giver of the promise not what he not the promise
that he declared because God's point in giving us a gift is not to take our eyes
off the giver it just it so if it's causing us to take our eyes off the
giver then something's something's really something's really wrong anyway
back to what I was talking about the law of attraction that we sometimes use in
terms of like golly terms of like I mean steadfast and consistent and I'm not
allowing myself to be wavered about the path and and but waver from the path and
no matter all of these terrible obstacles and hindrances that Satan is
throwing against me I'm not going to move what what the what it is that we're
doing here is do you and are we drawing the connection to what we talked about
yesterday we've become rigid what happens with what what is part of
rigidity rigidity is death because spirit is always moving so rigidity
we've we've we've we call it again we take something that we're doing and we
put a godly label on it and it called steadfast and saying that God's approves
of this and this is what he's saying no no steadfast is talking about something
totally different saying steadfast and unwavering in the object of our faith
not the object of our faith that's the steadfastness steadfastness doesn't mean
we get rigid about something like something like this but the law of
attraction says no the only way you can actually get to that goal is like I said
earlier you know you know oh feel and smell it and make it real and and you
have to go through actually a lot of work a lot of intention they spent time
in meditation in other words you know sitting in sitting sitting in quiet
focusing focusing their intention they have become very good at focusing their
intention because it's the intention of man that can start manifesting things
even from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil but again it's bringing
forth death God calls us to use our intention that God giving gift he gave
us to operate from the spirit of life but anyway the law of attraction does
work because it is a principle principle of God that man has the
authority to to to intend something and creation will respond if he is very sure
about his intention so in the law of attraction they're working really really
hard to make sure they're to practice the the unwaveringness of their
intention but the problem is that it's actually it's actually rigid and bringing
forth death so instead we don't want to do that so the whole point of a goal or
vision like what we talked about earlier is to give us a direction a direction
not of what to do next and so God's giving me the next instruction mm-hmm
God said no no now you know the direction in which I want us to turn and
now our relationship is going to start developing this way so but it's not
something that he's he's given you that you now have been given the assignment
to go do to leave God and go to God's I know this is the direction in which the
two of us are going to start you know developing our relationship so when God
when you have a goal or a vision whether I'm not trying to muddy the water so
hopefully you'll be able to separate this just a bit whether God gave us the
goal or the vision or we're talking in a in a way such as in well you know I went
to business course and they told me that one of the tips tricks and
strategies that which is a tool and a strategy that God himself created in
that God you in that God allows us to use he just doesn't want us to use it as
as our source but we are allowed to use well I learned that one of the strategies
is but it's very healthy for a business to have a goal so I'm going to create a
goal create a goal that's going to give you direction for it for and to how to
I'm going to create a goal that's going to give you direction for it for and to how to
start. God can't move your parked car. Move. Life is in movement, not in standing there
waiting for God to say something. Life is in movement and He'll direct and guide
because He's in constantly in motion, it's of His nature, so you're
constantly in motion and as you go, you know, He'll guide you and the two of you
will do it together. So when you create a goal that is great and that's fun, you
now have a trajectory. The whole point of the goal, give you a direction, as soon
as you've got your direction, forget about the goal. Forget about the goal. And
when I say forget, I don't literally mean, I don't mean mentally forget about it.
You can kind of, you know, be aware of it and be like, oh, there it is. My point in
saying forget about it is to kind of, a little bit of shock value, is to help us
to understand the seriousness in which we need to release ownership, as opposed
to starting to hold God accountable. That's one of the things about promises.
Promises are so very precious from the Lord and He doesn't want to give us a
promise that something's gonna happen and we now use that as a weapon against
Him of why we don't believe that He is who He says that He is, because it hasn't
happened yet. It's taking something, a good gift from God and using it to hurt
Him. So we don't want to do that. Anyway, release your ownership of it. If we've
owned something and we think that, and we're holding God accountable to it, then
it means that we have, well, it, you know, then it means that we've owned it. It
means that we're tightening our grip. That brings death. So we, so that's what I
mean when I say you forget about it. You just get a direction and then you start
in that direction and then what ends up happening is different opportunities
will come along. You and the Lord will start deciding something, start
deciding things. Okay, well let's, you know, we're moving along and all of a
sudden this thing comes along. So you ask the Lord, okay Lord, you know, is, because
obstacles can be thrown in my path, so do we want to continue to move through
this obstacle because we're spirit and we can and it's not more powerful
than we are. We have no reason to feel threatened. Do we want to move through
the obstacle or I'm, we're doing this together. I'm not doing it, doing it
believing. You've given me assignment and I'm abandoning it alone to try to
figure out how to get it accomplished. We're doing it together, so I'm doing it
together. I'm in my Father's heart and now that I'm in my Father's heart, I can
sense, Lord is that you? Is, are you mentioning, are you suggesting to me
that we kind of make a slight left turn because it would be fun, because it would
actually make it much more colorful, because we, because actually if we do a
slight, a slight left turn, the end goal is actually going to look eventually
like you said that it would, but we're doing it together, meaning that I have a
valuable contribution that I'm making along the way that's going to contribute
to what the end result eventually looks like, because it's going to have my seed
of belief in it, partnering with the Lord, but he initiated, he initiated the idea
first. Are we, you know, is that what it is that we want to do? Do we want to, do
we, do we want to change? We decided we wanted to do this, Lord. Do we want to
change our original decision? God changes his decisions. Moses, he went to Moses
and he said, Moses, stand out of the way. I've got to wipe out the Israelites, and
then Moses stood in the gap and he said, God, please no. It said God repented. God
said, okay, I've changed my mind. I won't do that. You made me change my mind. Why
was God's mind changed in a good way? Because he said, Moses, that's what I
would have done. You look like your father. You look like me. You've
been raised to the point where you're more of a mature son, where your
contribution to the council, you and me talking together, what is it that we want
to do? Your contribution to the council is so mature that you're looking like me.
Therefore, I feel safe with you to confer with you. It says that she, that God
conferred with and met Moses face to face like he would a friend, and he had
been raised to maturity to that point that God's like, you're right, and I'm
gonna make, I'm gonna change my mind, not because my original idea wasn't like me,
but you have a contributing decision. I like being affected by you because then
we get to
do it together, and what you're suggesting allows me,
and me operating according to how you suggest,
allows me to still be me, because that is what I would do.
So God changes his mind.
It also said that about Nineveh,
and those were that he went and he told Jonah,
he said, tell the Ninevites what's gonna happen,
and he did, but then I'm gonna wipe them all out,
and da, da, da, God is not a liar,
and he said, tell them I am going to wipe them all out.
And so Jonah's like, God said,
he'd already run away from God,
and God gotten really onto him about that,
so he's like, you don't mess with the Lord.
If he says it, you follow it, and you do it.
So he goes, and he feels like he's been made a fool of,
because they repented, and then what God said,
and what he had declared didn't happen.
It makes a prophet feel like a fool,
and he's very mad at God,
and he was mad at God for changing his mind,
but why did God change his mind?
Because God was acting like God.
It was like, you know what, this is of my character
to tell them, you need to repent and change,
and if you don't, I will bring destruction.
That it was of the nature of God,
but when they repented, what is also,
and they appealed to him,
what is also of the nature of God, love.
Love triumphs over judgment.
Everything about God's character is subject to love.
How he manifests what that love looks like is up to him,
but he does subject all of his character to love,
and so it says, God repented.
It uses that word.
What that means is God stopped doing that,
and turned the other way,
and started doing something very different.
So God changes his mind.
He allows us to be affected by him,
so it's okay if the two of you
start in a particular direction,
and then the two of you decide along the journey,
you know what, let's do it a little different.
That's fine.
The two of you are deciding together,
you're gonna make it better,
because remember, the whole point
isn't getting to it anyway.
The whole point is that you're developing a relationship.
That's the whole point,
and you deciding together
that you're gonna turn slightly to the left
is a relationship.
You conferred, you counseled together,
each one has a say, they listen to the other,
each one of them felt heard, they felt valued.
You know, it's a very, very good thing.
So we need to hold everything very, very loosely.
So we just head off in this direction,
and then we change, and then we change,
and however, how many other people's lives feel like this,
and then we change, and then we do this,
and then we somehow end up over here,
and then God, and then our spiritual eyes,
so to speak, are opened, and God reveals to us,
you remember that vision I gave you?
This is what it actually looks like.
Oh my word, God.
I would have never, I would have never imagined
and pictured in my mind that happening.
Man, the love and goodness of your character
in this revelation, in this goal,
in this dream to which we've reached,
because it's not a dead end, we keep going from there,
because the point of the journey is not the goal,
the point of the journey is the journey.
But anyway, just like, oh my goodness,
well, this place that we have come to is amazing,
and I wouldn't have been able to predict this,
and it reveals, Lord, more of your love and your goodness
that you and I together are manifesting
of what we share between us, the love we share between us,
that the shared DNA of goodness
that is to such a full extent that is consistent,
that is constantly for eternity ever-expanding,
we're seeing the aspect of that relationship
that we have matured together thus far
finally made manifest in visible
and physical form in creation.
This is amazing, I couldn't have predicted this,
I couldn't, and then a lot of times we say,
God, I couldn't have even imagined it,
and God's like, exactly, you remember that picture
that I gave you, you know, a while ago?
He said, that is the only, that was the closest picture
I could give you of what the end result looked like,
because you didn't at the time of the development
of our relationship, way back then,
didn't have a grid to be able to consume or understand this.
We didn't have a grid for it,
so God gave us the closest thing he could.
that, you know, that we would understand based on our maturity, based on our age.
Think of it like this, so in Revelation, there's different ways that, you know,
you can take Revelation, but personally, but regardless, think of it,
at least consider this idea because I do believe that this is baked into Revelation
and I think that, you know, most people would agree with it
and considering this is, these are the words that are written in the English language in the book
of Revelation, that think about the fact of John being taken up, it said.
John was taken up into heaven and he saw things, but remember that the things
on earth are just types and shadows of what appears in the heaven.
It doesn't look exactly like this in heaven.
When God talks about a throne in heaven, it doesn't have to obey the laws of physics
in order to have a seat that's here and a back that's here and arms that's here.
Who knows what a throne looks like?
We just have an idea of it here on earth and God said, hey, throne, you know what a throne?
Yeah, he said, that's what I sit on in heaven.
Well, this is just a type and a shadow of an idea.
Who knows what the actual thing looks like?
This is just the closest idea that we've got.
But so he gives us a picture according to what it is that we can consume according
to how far that we've matured thus far.
So it is in Revelation, you remember when John was taken up and he's seeing all these things,
he's constantly saying things like it looks like and it was as if and the, you know,
the leopard came up and a beast came, a beast that looked like a leopard came,
I'm not, I'm paraphrasing here, but the idea is basically some beast
and it looked like a leopard, he describes it as a leopard, came up out of the sea.
Okay, so it mentions this in Revelation 4 and then it mentions this in Daniel,
but both of them are talking about the fact that there's a, you know,
beast comes up out of the sea and then in one of them, either Daniel or Revelation,
the way that it describes it as, it says he had feet as like a, I think it was feet as like a lion,
sorry, feet like a bear and a mouth like a lion or something or as a lion or as a bear.
In other words, he didn't say he had a lion's mouth and bear's feet.
It was as and it was like, in other words, we don't have a grid for what it is that he saw
and he's trying to figure out how to articulate it in this world when we don't have a way to under,
to, for he didn't have a way to articulate something that was very otherworldly.
So, same thing when God's trying to talk to us about goals or visions, there's only so much
that we consume based on the point of, to which our relationship with them had developed.
It'll develop, by the time that it has developed over the journey to where we finally, you know,
get to see a particular goal or destination manifest, goal or vision manifest,
we now, due to the journey that we took in the development of our relationship,
now actually have a grid to not only consume, but actually be a king here.
So, anyway, that's why, that's, will hopefully give you some, a bit of grounding or a way
to articulate for yourself what's actually going on as opposed to, God, this thing isn't happening.
Why? And we're throwing accusation at him.
He's like, so, that development of relationship, you can't understand everything
that I'm trying to tell you, that I want to tell you right now, but I'm trying to mature you
in the development of your relationship with me so that I finally can talk to you like that.
But right now, I can't talk to you like that because you won't understand.
So, but eventually you will, and that's what I'm doing.
I'm teaching you new languages.
I'm exposing you to new colors.
Remember how people say that they have, you know, like that lady that I said had seen her soul
and she said, there are colors in there that I've never seen before.
They don't exist on earth.
I've heard that repeatedly from people that say, you know, that they've been to heaven.
Like, for instance, you know, the little boy who wrote, who was in the book, you know,
Heaven is for Real and things like that, in the little, I never know how to pronounce her name.
Akine or whatever.
Uh-huh.
Akiana. Akiana, thank you.
I don't know why I never, I always struggle trying to remember how you actually pronounce it.
I can see it because I'm so visual, but how do you pronounce it?
So, Akiana, you know, and the picture, you know, that she.
of Jesus, and then the pictures that she paints of other things. And they have all said that
when they go to heaven, they said, there are colors we don't have here. They don't have
a grid to be able to tell someone what it looks like, except to be able to say, well,
it's kind of like green with a little bit of blue, but then it sparkles, except when
this happens, and then it turns into a raindrop. You're going, what? I mean, they're just
like, I don't know. It's the best that I can do. It's like we're just going, that's mixing
two, that's mixing different things that don't mix here on earth. They're like, I know, that's
why we exist in heaven. So there's things that we just don't have a grid for. I wanted
to belabor this point to help us realize and recognize the accusations that we're having
against the Lord, and you're free from having to, you're free from making those accusations.
You're not obligated to figure it all out and to understand it all. God holds you accountable
for receiving his word, not understanding it. He interprets it. He reveals it. And yes,
you will receive understanding, but you'll receive understanding in the development of
a relationship. You are not held responsible being given a word, feeling abandoned by God,
where God's over you like a schoolmaster, not in union with you, but as a schoolmaster
going, okay, now figure it out. You know better than this. What have I taught you thus far?
God's like, no, no, no, I'll interpret it for you, but I do want you to receive it without
proof and part of the proof that we require before receiving something from the Lord is
understanding. And if we don't understand, we use that as accusation against God of why
we can't believe it. So, anyway, you know, we were talking about, we were talking about
proof the other day. So, I wanted to, let's see here, what have I not mentioned? Another
thing I just want to throw in here real quick that, you know, in this journey, that the
whole point is the journey. The whole point is the development of the relationship. It's
not a destination. We're not trying to get somewhere. We already, where we're trying
to get, we're on the journey. God's just like, develop relationship with me. Keep your eyes
on me. Seek ye first the kingdom of God. This is it. And then let's see what happens as
a result of you doing this. Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all these things will
be added unto you. It manifests from that thing. Oh, yeah. So, remember that with God,
there's no past, present, and future. Past, present, and future is a reference to time,
which is creation. And God doesn't exist within creation. In other words, subject to creation.
Subject is held together by God. Creation is within God. God's not within creation.
I mean, yeah, you can find God within creation, but my point is that creation is within God,
so to speak. I don't mean that it's one, I'm not talking about, you know, one with God,
like, anyway. So, I won't get into that, into that one. But my point is that God is outside
of time. So, while he has been and is currently in the creation time of past, present, and
future, so to speak, he doesn't exist in past, present, or future. He exists in the now.
Now spelled capital N, capital O, capital W. He exists in something called the now.
It's just now. It's always now. And time exists within now. All of time, from the beginning
of time to the end of time, time exists within, which is in this place where God exists, which
is the now. And so, if we're in God, we're in the now. The reason I wanted to talk about
that is that when we're taking a journey, we're constantly calculating the time, or
we're calculating, we're trying to measure progress. Okay, so God gave me the first step.
Well, God, when are you going to give me the second step? I'm staying here, and I'm waiting
for you. We're going to do this together. What's the second step? We're thinking in
terms of, like, progression and time and whatever, and while we exist within time, and then there's
nothing wrong with that, the problem is we're using it in accusation again.
God. And that's an issue. And God's just like, no, no, no. Your travel, your journey,
your being in this place that you've decided to call step one, and then you being in this
place that you've decided to call step two, both of these places are a place that it's
just, it's wherever it is that we are. So all that exists is wherever it is that we
are. I exist in the now and you exist in me, therefore you exist in the now.
So don't use time, I urge us, as an accusation against God. All of these things, by the way,
that I'm speaking are not meant to condemn us of like, where I'm saying, oh, we don't
need to do this and we need to watch ourselves and make sure of this, that, and the other.
My point is that while we don't need to see it as, we don't need to be seeing it as condemning,
what we need to be seeing it as is we're released from that, from the oppressiveness that we
have felt because, because of having accusation against God. It brings pain. It is not of
our nature because we're a spirit and we're one with God and we're of his essence. It
brings us pain to accuse God because we're in opposition to our nature because we're
spirit that believes God and then, and then there's soul. We're creating our own pain
by accusing God. You're, you, you don't have to live in pain. So that's why what it is
that I'm speaking about when I'm saying, let's not use time as an accusation, let's not use,
it's an invitation. It's not a condemnation of, well, there you did it again. You shouldn't
have done that. It's not that. It's, it's understanding. No, no, you don't have to live
in that pain. So you have permission to step out of that prison. That's all, that's all
I'm saying. We need to take this filter through which we've used to view everything that we
would hear of don't do and commands and whatever and, and where we saw them as, oh my goodness,
that means that I haven't and it means that I'm not yet and it means that I haven't arrived
yet. And we see it in lack and God's like, no, no, no. All of these things are an invitation.
They're an invitation into goodness. You want more? You want more love? You want more freedom?
That's what your pain and your struggle currently is. It's your spirit and your soul warring
against one another. Your nature warring against itself causes pain and you are called to release,
you are called to release freedom from your spirit into your soul, releasing it from frustration
and moving it and freeing it from slavery. That's how you relieve your pain. That's how
you relieve your struggle is in that, is in that overcoming. So I wanted to make sure
that people weren't hearing a condemnation because it's absolutely not my heart. It's
an invitation from, from the Lord. Whenever we're in a, sorry, whenever, whenever we're
in a struggle of, and, and, and have pain that, like say for instance, you're in a trial
and you know, you're in some tribulation, you said, oh my goodness, I'm in the fire,
you know, I'm being purified and all of that. What, what's going on is God is, is God is
saying, okay, the circumstances and environment around you have triggered, have triggered,
in other words, highlighted a war that your soul and spirit are currently in because in
some area in which your spirit, your spirit is declaring over your soul, the word of God
and your, and your soul is, is standing in accusation and saying, no, that's not true.
It's not receiving the word of God, not receiving the word of God actually creates pain. We
think it's the opposite. We think, no, if I receive that word, I'm stepping into pain.
No, no, no. It's freeing us from, from that pain. So God says, the environment is triggering
and highlighting the fact that you have this accusation against me and against my, my word.
Would you like freedom? That's whatever trial, struggle, and tribulation that you're in right
now. You're not being tested as if God's like a schoolmaster saying, Hey, look, I've
taught you all of these lessons. You should know how to deal with this by now. Let's see
what, how you do. It's not, it's an invitation. God's like, would you like more love and more
freedom? Would you like to step into, um, into more? Would you finally like to agree
with me? Feel safe with me, risk safety with me, let go, allow and receive me.
You receive my word, and then finally you're at rest
because you're in alignment.
And when you're at rest, you shift into a greater level
of intimacy with the Lord,
meaning you get to experience more of the inheritance
he says he's already given you,
because he's already given it to us,
but just now we're now receiving it,
we're now choosing to receive it.
And once we've received it, we get to finally experience
and see manifested into our circumstances and situations,
more love, more peace, more freedom.
Finally, that's when the fruits of the Spirit
start manifesting themselves.
That's finally when you see love, joy, peace,
patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
gentleness, self-control, that your spirit already is,
that's the nature of your spirit.
That's when you finally start acting like it, effortlessly.
Everything is freely given and has to be freely received,
and you will just begin to start manifesting it.
So that's what Charles' struggles and tribulations are.
And so it's very important with the...
Okay, well, I think, yeah, I've already mentioned that.
Okay, good, I've already mentioned that.
So we are making very good time here.
Again, remember the whole point of life
is the journey of the development
of our relationship with the Lord.
It's not passing life's milestones.
So enjoy the journey.
We were talking yesterday about enjoying ourselves,
enjoying the bride, God says, enjoy me.
He said, I'm enjoying you.
Remember, we're relating to one another.
That's what we're doing when we're moving through life.
We're relating to one another.
So therefore, enjoy.
I'm enjoying you.
Please enjoy me because it makes me feel loved.
And then what also makes me feel loved
is to take me at my word
that you and I together should enjoy you.
So enjoy it, enjoy the process,
enjoy getting to the goal,
enjoy getting to the vision,
as opposed to, okay, that's God's gift.
No, the journey is God's gift.
We're relating with him.
He's revealing more of himself to us.
His gift is a greater and greater portion of himself
as we make ourselves more and more vulnerable to him.
That's the development of our relationship,
choosing more and more and more to receive God at his word.
And the more that we receive him at his word,
what happens between word, initiation,
and belief, which is receptivity,
with that comes is intimacy.
And that's what we all want.
But intimacy requires our abandon and our vulnerability,
as opposed to, well, God, I'm here.
Why don't you meet me and why don't you whatever?
And God's like, I'm here, but you won't receive me.
You won't let me in.
So all we have to do is let him in and then we have it.
And all we do to let him in is stop.
You don't have to do anything.
You don't have to learn anything new
that you need to do to please God.
You stop whatever it is that you're doing,
and then you're intimate with him.
Because intimacy and a state of intimacy with him
is your nature and your current state.
So what we're trying to do is constantly remove
all the resistance and the layers that we have put
between us and our actual current existence
so that we can actually finally experience
in our soul and our body, our actual nature
and the state in which we're currently existing
with our father, which is of intimacy.
So in this process, as opposed to holding God,
having accusation against God of God,
why haven't you brought this yet?
Why haven't you brought that yet?
God's like, or why won't,
why doesn't the dream look like this?
Or why doesn't the dream look like that?
Or why aren't you doing this in my life?
And I don't see you doing such and such in my life,
and I've been asking you for it.
And God's like, not only do I want you
to know that I love you,
I want you to receive me by allowing me to love you.
Will you just stop and let me love you?
That is what he's doing when he's giving us a dream
and he's taking us on the journey.
He's loving on us.
You are currently in the state of existence
in which you're in, regardless of what situations
that it is in life, sitting in this room,
whatever's going through your head,
whatever you're going to be doing tonight or tomorrow,
you are in a state currently of being loved by God.
Currently, you're not,
God's not waiting for you to do something
before he loves on you.
You're in a state of being loved.
on lavishly right now.
But we have all of these resistances that we've put up,
that we've kept us from being vulnerable enough
to experience the fact that we're being loved on.
So understand that's what the dream is.
That's what the journey is.
God's like, this is me loving you.
Receive me by allowing yourself to be loved.
Let me love you, that's your gift to me.
Let me love you, let me be me to you, and I am love.
So if you're rejecting love, you're rejecting me.
Let me love you.
All right, so the promise.
Okay, talking about.
Just a second.
Okay.
A promise that God gives us,
you know, that we're delighted and we're like,
oh my goodness, God's giving you a promise.
That promise, the promise is not the manifestation itself.
God's reason for giving us, God's,
okay, let me say this first.
God's reason for giving us a promise is not the promise.
The thing is that, remember what we were talking about
earlier about a grid?
If God tells us how much he loves us,
we're like, in his language, we're like,
I don't understand.
What, okay, it just sounded like he spoke
in a heavenly language or in Greek.
I don't know what that means.
And so God's like, okay, you don't have a grid for it.
So let me give you something in your language.
So he gives us a promise and he says,
I will make of you, I will make many nations.
That's my promise to you.
What was the point of the promise?
The point of the promise was not that.
The point of the promise was,
God was trying to show Abraham,
Abraham, according to your world
and how much I know you value that,
I'm telling you, I'm trying to tell you how much I love you.
Okay, let's see, what can I use
to help tell you that I love you?
Oh, okay, you value that.
Okay, now how much do you value that?
Okay, so of all the things that you value
and how much and how you rate them
and measure them about how much you value.
Okay, I want to prove to you new measures of my character,
a new measure of my love and my goodness
that you didn't know.
So I love you, and then you find something
that Abraham values and he says,
Abraham, I love you this much.
Now, do you know how much I love you?
Now, do you know who I am?
Now, do you know how much love I am?
How much goodness I am?
The point of the promise is a revelation
of the degree to which God is declaring his character to be.
That is why you were given your promise.
It's not the promise itself.
The promise does not have life to give you.
God was just speaking your language.
He's saying, I love you as much as you in your world
know how to value that.
That is how much I love you.
That's how he wants us to receive his promises.
So do we also see why it hurts?
You know, we would imagine that it would hurt God
if we would take this beautiful gift that he's given us.
Hey, I'm trying to love you.
So I'm loving you and I want to communicate that to you.
So I'm giving you this promise.
Now, do you see how much I love you?
And instead what we do is like, oh my word, that's shiny.
That's pretty.
It's like, God, why aren't you doing this yet?
Why haven't you done this yet?
Why haven't you done this yet, God?
I don't know that you're very good
because this feels like teasing.
You gave me some, you promised me something,
but you won't give it to me.
We're now using it to hurt him
when the whole reason he gave it to us
was trying to express to us the degree and the measure
in our language to which we could understand
he was loving us.
And he doesn't want us to use it as an accusation.
So it can't give us life anyway.
So just let it go.
No wonder it hurts us when God gives us promises
for like, oh my word, how long am I gonna have
to wait this time?
How much faith am I gonna have to have at this time?
How much participation is that gonna require me this time?
How much sacrifice, how much whatever?
I mean, no wonder, because we're focused too much on this.
God's like, no, no, no, I love you that much.
Focus on me.
This is how much I love you.
Are you serious?
That's who you are?
You're that much love and you're that much goodness?
He said, yes.
Come into me.
Will you receive me?
Will you be vulnerable with me?
Will you choose that you're safe with me?
And then that's how we mature.
And then we experience more of the intimacy
and more of the love of God.
From that point, we can move forward into something else.
And again, that is what the development
of our relationship with God is doing.
Him expressing His love in ways,
and we're choosing to always believe His word.
That's how we're loving Him back.
And the promise, it's His character.
The promise is also kind of like an aspect of His character,
kind of like a creation visual aspect of His character,
that He's allowing you, that He's inviting you
to participate in of Himself.
He's giving you more of Himself that He's like,
would you like to come into me to that extent
and be part of that?
Enjoy it, and to abide in that place.
That's what that promise is.
It's an aspect of His character
that He's allowing us to come in
and to participate, allowing us to participate in,
which is why it has entered our world
and He's given it to us.
So the promise, though, is not Him giving His character
to you, because He's already given you everything.
So when we talk about God giving us a promise,
He's not giving us something new
and more than He's done before.
He's already giving us everything.
He's trying to teach a child, okay,
well, you've matured to the point
that I can now express to you in a grade
you originally couldn't understand.
I love you this much.
You had no ability to conceptualize, consume,
or be able to receive this before,
but you're now, what does it say in Ezekiel 16?
You're now old enough for love.
You're now old enough for a new measure
of intimacy with me.
And then, when we're old enough again
for a new measure of His intimacy,
then He gives us something else.
More promises, more goodness, more words,
more declaration, more revelation.
He'll open some more scriptures to you, et cetera.
According to whether or not we are old enough
to be able to consume and be able to receive
that degree of love from a sovereign God of the universe.
His love for those of us who've understood,
who've had moments, His love,
and the tiny, itty, bitty bit that we've been exposed to
can feel very overwhelming,
to the point where sometimes you can't move,
or you can't talk or whatever, and you're just flooded.
And so, that's just a tiny little bit.
So, do we see how we have to be matured
to be able to receive and consume more?
Otherwise, it would overwhelm us,
and God does not destroy us.
We're the object of His love.
He's trying to mature, He's trying to mature us.
So, okay, the last, the last thing?
Oh, no, no, I'm gonna talk about another thing.
Let's see here.
Okay, I've already talked about that, so.
Okay, talking about the, okay, let's move then
into the desires of our heart and making,
and learning how to make decisions.
Again, all from a place of rest.
Everything that we're talking about
is relieving us from shame and condemnation,
letting us know that everything is supposed to be received.
And if we suddenly stop, we actually get it.
In other words, we receive it.
If we stop, we receive it.
We don't have to reach for it.
We don't have to do anything for it.
So, talking about the desires of our heart
and the fact that, obviously, they're very good things.
It is important, though, for us to remember
that we've confused the desires of our heart
with a specific vision.
In other words, a specific way that we think it has to look.
One of the dreams that I had is I wanted a house.
And when I say I wanted a house, I mean I was obsessed.
When I was a really little girl, probably,
I don't know, some of these dreams began to develop
when I was about six years old, five, six years old,
something like that.
But I remember when I was around like eight, nine, 10,
I would go to my grandmom's house and I would,
and while all of the other kids are outside playing,
I would be inside for hours, hours,
pouring and re-pouring over the architectural
floor plan magazines that she had in her house.
Because I loved houses.
And, of course, now I know that,
and as you can tell how it is that how it,
just the way that the Lord operates out of me
and how my spirit works and manifests into creation.
I see relationships between things, and I see connections, and I have a heart's desire
to help other people see these connections.
It's why I belabor points, why I'm constantly referencing, okay, oh, I'm about to talk about it.
Do you remember when I talked about this two days ago?
Constantly making connections for people to help them understand how everything relates,
because when you understand how something relates to something else,
it totally changes how you see, how you now see what you first saw.
And it's taking information that's 1D, and it's suddenly making it 2D,
and then I'll belabor it again to make it 3D, and then take us into a fourth dimension,
and then take us into a fifth dimension, because the more that we understand about all of that,
the more we can receive it, and the more of the Lord that we get to benefit from.
Anyway, so sometimes we confuse the desires of our heart with a specific manifestation,
thinking it has to look a particular way.
And I had thought that, you know, with the house.
It was something that I wanted from a very young age, and I would pick
out which floor plan I liked, and I would mix and match them.
And I'm like, well, I like the kitchen here, but I like the da-da-da-da-da.
I mean, I'm doing this when I'm in elementary school.
I just loved it.
I loved the, and the reason I did is I liked the flow.
I could care less what the outside of the house looked like.
And all I'm looking at is an architectural drawing, so I'm like, okay, well,
that would make sense that you would walk from the living room
to the kitchen under these circumstances.
And yeah, well, that actually doesn't, I wouldn't want to walk like that.
That seems like an awfully long way around.
No, we're not going to go with that one.
It's the way, I didn't know, but my little soul is sensing aspects about the spirit,
and it's trying to mature to understand and to figure out how to engage what it is that's an
expression of my spirit out into creation.
That's what it's doing.
It's playing.
It's a kid.
It's trying to discover what is this world, and how do you work with it?
Can I do this?
That didn't work.
Can I do, no, that didn't work.
You know, this isn't working.
I've been watching all the people do this, and it's not working for me.
What is it?
Oh, this will finally work.
You're just playing with stuff because you don't know.
So that's what I'm doing, and God is a very safe place to dream in.
He is a very safe place to practice in.
He, for those of you who understand software development, he allows us to play and dream
in a sandbox, in a virtual reality sandbox before we hurt ourselves
by doing that thing out in reality.
He gives us a safe place to try it out.
What do you think?
What do you want to do with it?
Do you want to put the pink tutu on the stuffed elephant?
Go for it.
It doesn't exist in real life, but play with it.
See what you want to do.
Make it wear the pink tutu, and then make it the daddy.
Well, that's not really what works in real life, but hey, you're figuring it out.
But you mess with it, and you're allowed to mess with it and not be condemned by it just
because that's not how you're eventually going to operate the rest of your life.
It's a process of development.
It's very healthy for a child to play.
And because they're called to be a king over creation, so they have to understand it,
and they have to figure it out.
So anyway, it extends into the spiritual realm as well.
Anyway, I had a bit, I thought my heart's desire was a home, an actual physical home.
But really, the more that I've come to understand the Lord, that's not a heart's desire.
I want it, sure, but that's not a heart's desire.
My heart's desire is actually deeper than that, and the only way I can figure
out how this thing is that I feel and that I want, the only way I can think of to express it
or to translate it into a grid that I could put into the world would be look like a house.
So the house itself, though, is not the heart's desires.
And so God always fulfills our heart's desires, and your heart's desires are good.
God does not want to deny you your heart's desires.
You developed them from a very beautiful, wonderful place in your spirit that can do no wrong.
But we have to be matured with the Lord to the point where we,
collaborating with the Lord, decide that heart's desire, what do we want it
to actually look like in creation?
Because we're above creation, we can make it look like anything we want.
It doesn't have to look like a house.
So God not giving you a dream that we have labeled as, or something that we have,
a heart's desire that we have labeled.
as, well, this is my dream to have a house,
that we're holding that an accusation against God.
God, you don't grant me my heart's desires,
I don't feel safe with you.
God's like, that's not your heart's desire.
You know, learn from me what your heart's desire is.
I intend to fulfill your heart's desire.
You just misunderstood
what you thought it was supposed to look like.
It actually looks bigger, more impactful,
and more transformative in creation
than the limited form to which you've forced it to be.
It doesn't mean that God won't give you
what it is that you've envisioned and whatever,
but he doesn't want us to experience something
that will hurt us because we think,
see, I now have a house.
God gave me my heart's desire.
God's like, this is actually very destructive to you.
You're limiting yourself, and I want us to be limitless.
You can do so much more.
So anyway, it's not that God won't give that thing to us
because he does teach a child
according to the child's love language
and the child's language.
This is the only way it understands.
We hope he'll give us things as we mature.
But as we've matured in Christ,
sometimes we get frustrated with like,
well, God used to love me.
He used to do all kinds of things for me.
When I was in college, I saw all kinds of miracles,
and da-da-da-da-da.
But now, I don't see things like that anymore,
and God's like, no, no, no.
That was to prove that you could trust me,
but I wanted you to mature to the point
that you could do that with me
instead of standing around, holding me in accusation,
why I'm not doing it for you.
He's like, take part in it.
Be bigger than that.
Enjoy it.
Enrich creation.
And by doing that,
you're fulfilling the desires of your heart,
and we will fulfill the desires of our heart together.
I'm sorry.
Okay, last thing we'll talk about is making decisions.
I'm trying to think.
Okay, I'm gonna mention something really quick
because I'm just gonna drop it in
because I've already actually talked about it,
so it might sound like a little bit out of context,
but just remember back when we were,
but I just think it's very, very sweet, very important,
and will hopefully encourage, delight,
and comfort you,
and kind of make God a bit more endearing to you
and to see this.
You remember that we were talking about struggles,
trials, tribulations,
and oh my goodness, it's so hard,
and for us to not see them as God is a hard task master,
that he's mad at us or holding us accountable for,
well, you were supposed to have learned your lesson,
and whatever.
One of the things about tests,
so I'm just gonna throw this in there
because I hadn't planned on saying this,
but let's just think about this for a second.
I'm not saying that tests,
you know, the fact that we go to school
and we take tests and whatever,
you know, I'm not saying that that's bad at all.
I'm just trying to say,
we don't need to project that that is the experience
that we're experiencing with God.
In tests, one of the reasons that subconsciously
people don't like tests is they're abandoned.
They're completely alone.
You know, because, well, we can't have any cheating,
and you can't be distracted,
and you can't have any help.
You have to do this thing.
And if you don't have a good,
if you don't have a good healthy understanding
of this situation, if you're very, very wounded,
you can, if you come from a very wounded background
with a lot of traumas,
you can choose to interpret those types of experiences
as very traumatic and not like tests.
I'm not saying that the way that we take tests
and the form needs to be changed.
I took a test like that, they're fine.
My point is like,
do we kind of see an interesting picture there
and how we've projected that onto God?
We think that we're being given a test,
we're abandoned and alone, and there's trauma.
There's trauma, oh my goodness.
You know, if I don't get this right,
well then, you know, all hell's gonna break loose
and whatever, God's gonna punish me.
So we need to start seeing like struggles,
lessons, tests, trials is very differently,
which I talked about earlier.
But I wanted to mention when Jacob wrestled with the angel,
then he wrestled with the angel and...
The angel touched his hip, that stopped the wrestling match because it said they wrestled all night.
I'm such a Texan.
It said they rassled.
I almost said rassled and I tried to self-correct.
Sorry.
I'm from West Texas.
It's just cattle country.
I grew up on a farm and ranch.
Yeah, they rassled, they wrestled.
But what the angel said is he said, your name will no longer be called Jacob.
Your name will be called Israel.
Well, he didn't say your name will no longer be called Jacob, I don't think.
But he did say your name will now be called Israel.
And Israel, he said, because you have struggled with God in one.
And the name Israel actually means he who struggles with God.
Remember what we were talking about, about the significance in which God places on names.
It's so very important when he gives someone a new name when they're howled.
Why on earth would God do that?
It's hard.
It's confusing.
Except for the fact that it is speaking a new aspect of their identity over them that they can now then carry out.
So what does Israel mean?
Israel means he who struggles with God.
That's not a negative thing.
It's very, very sweet.
Because remember, what's more important to God than anything else?
Union.
Yeah, relationship.
Relationship within union.
And when we are hurt by God, when we have accusation, when we're throwing lies, then we're believing lies and we're throwing accusations.
We're struggling.
And what does God not want us to do?
He wants the same thing that we want.
Why do we want this?
Because we're of God and this is what he doesn't like either.
No one, not even God, wants to be abandoned.
And if we're struggling with God and we're mad at him and we turn our back, there's separation.
He's being abandoned.
He doesn't like that.
So I was struggling with him one time and I am so very, very, very rarely mad at God.
So very rarely.
Just because I have a very strong soul and I don't let myself go there or at least acknowledge that I'm mad.
I'm sure that I'm actually mad, but I don't allow myself to acknowledge that I'm mad.
But the point is that in this particular situation, I was so mad that it had come up and I was in the middle of depression, very severe depression.
And anxiety, all of that, had very high accusation against God.
And I remember exactly where it was I was standing.
I was in my very first apartment as an adult.
And I remember exactly where I was standing in the bedroom when God said,
Ashley, he said, you can be mad at me.
He said, we can work through this struggle.
That's fine.
We can do that.
And then he said, but don't shut me out.
He said, if you're going to struggle, he said, that's fine.
You're trying to get a foothold.
You're trying to understand.
You want intimacy with me and yet you're resisting it at the same time.
So you're doing your own push-pull here.
He said, let me walk through this with you.
But he said, don't abandon me.
He said, don't shut me out.
So he said, when you struggle, struggle with me, not be in struggle.
And then turn my back on God because I'm mad at him, so I'm struggling.
God's like, no, no, no, even if you're mad at me, even if I'm the object,
do it with me because relationship and union is so important to him.
It's so important to him that he gave Israel a very endearing name.
And he said, every time that someone will say the name Israel from now,
every time somebody reads a scripture verse,
every time it is printed in how many millions and billions of Bibles,
how many times the Gentiles, the nations around them,
would say it every time God himself would call down Israel,
I'm calling my son, and every time he would address his child,
every single time it is speaking that name, which is very powerful.
Words are very powerful.
It is speaking that name more and more and more and more and more into creation.
It is entrenching it.
And the thing that's being entrenched is a phrase,
he who struggles with God.
I personally would have imagined, well, God,
why wouldn't you name him something like, well,
He who loves God, or he whom God loves,
so that every single time somebody ever says it,
it's declaring yet again into creation, he who God loves.
Now that seems nice and affirming,
so I don't understand this whole other thing
because it sounds so negative.
I was like, no, no, no, relationship
and lack of separation is so important to me
that I went to name my son, he who struggles with God
and declare over him that even in his darkest moment,
he will not abandon me, and we will not be out of union.
It's that important, so important that he named Israel
his firstborn son now.
So your union with him is so very important.
Okay, last thing that we're gonna talk about,
actually making decisions.
So I recommend going through this process
when you make decisions.
I actually learned this in Walmart.
I was going through, this was about a year,
is it a year ago?
Yeah, it's a year ago, so this will show you
how far I've come with the Lord because I've chosen,
I've chosen that he is who he says that he is,
even if I don't see it and I step out on it
and my finances and business and relationships
and ministries, it's all on whatever it is he says,
and I risk it all on that.
But a year ago, I was in Walmart, I did not have much money,
don't remember how much I had, let's just say,
I think I had something like maybe $50 to my name,
something like that, and I was really struggling,
going through a very hard time with the Lord.
Lord, what am I supposed to do?
Who am I?
Who are you?
Well, I'm trying to learn.
God is telling me he's love and he's goodness
and he's abundance, so I'm at Walmart
and the central air in my apartment had gone out
and it was very hot, and especially because
it's above the garage, it could get sweltering,
and I can handle heat, because I grew up in the Middle East,
which can get up to 120 degree weather,
without, and they didn't have central air either,
I can handle heat, and this was very hot.
So I thought, no, I don't have very much money
and it would be really nice to have a fan.
So I thought, you know what, my God is a good God,
I'm learning that, and I've learned that if I believe it,
I'm gonna act on it in some way.
So I'm choosing that he will sustain me
if I act on it enough to put my money,
literally, where my mouth is,
and actually spend money on it.
So I went and I'm looking at two different fans
in an aisle in Walmart, and I'm standing there,
I'm standing there, I'm standing there,
and I thought, how do I make a decision?
How do I make a decision on how good God is?
Like, I don't know.
So this one here, I think it was like $10,
and this other one was 17.
And I wanted the $17 one
because it was nicer and all of that,
but in my mind, what's going through my mind
is my years of training.
Ashley, with the amount of money that you have in the bank
and what might come in the future
and what emergency you might need it for,
and your food and whatever,
you know, that's not the responsible decision.
Go with the smaller, cheaper fan
because it's functional and it'll probably work.
And if it doesn't work, Walmart will take it back,
and then you can get the bigger one
because you found out that it didn't work.
This is the responsible decision.
But I thought, no, God says that he's so good
that I don't have to live my life
according to the tree of the knowledge of good and evil,
of thinking I'm in lack and having to weigh
is this responsible or not responsible.
But my God's bigger than that.
He is more loving, more good,
but where does he want me to believe him?
And where has my faith extended to?
So I thought, well, I don't know.
I really don't know which one.
Does he want me to act in wisdom?
Because God created wisdom.
Wisdom was not created by Satan.
God created wisdom.
God created the things by which,
the standards by which we have learned
how to be quote-unquote responsible
and be able to measure each other's responsibility
and therefore judge each other by responsibility,
you know, according to this tree, right?
So I'm like, which one is God?
Because I see God in both.
So I'm trying to learn a God that I don't know.
I'm stepping into an unknown,
but I don't know how much of an unknown
am I out claiming God if I choose this one?
I don't know.
So this is how I learned how to make decisions.
I thought, and I referenced this a little bit yesterday,
I said, I thought, okay,
I'm going to quiet my spirit because my soul's yapping.
My soul is yapping, yapping, yapping, yapping.
Or maybe I mentioned this earlier today.
It's just yapping, it's talking.
It's like this child.
Why?
Because it's in fear.
I'm abandoned.
I'm alone.
I'm not gonna have, God may not come through.
that may be out claiming God's love and I was supposed to have done this and then I'm going to
bear the consequences and then you know I'm gonna I'm gonna be out of out of food for three days
because I spent 17 dollars on this instead you know and so what it is that I and that's what my
soul's doing and I was I was afraid remember what I was talking about earlier it's important to stop
and honor our feelings acknowledge our feelings acknowledge the fact that I feel that way
so this little kid in other words our soul is more immature than our spirit so our spirit being the
more mature one like a parent it has the patience and the maturity to wait it has a voice too and
it wants to be heard but it has the maturity to wait so tell your spirit to wait for a while when
you're trying to make a decision this is just one method in which you can make decision if you're
if you're wondering how to make a decision I'm just giving you a tool you can see if it works
for you so I tell my soul I mean I just I just have my soul be quiet I just say okay no no I'm
not I'm not gonna listen to my soul it's my my soul my spirit for just a second I'm gonna let
my little impatient soul you know he's just talking talking I don't know wanting attention
I'm scared I'm scared I'm scared I want attention and it won't stop if I let the spirit talk first
so I'm gonna let this talk first okay so which one do you want to do how do you feel about this one
oh we love this one we love that this one feels safe this one feels familiar because we're very
familiar with responsibility there's assurance in a standard there's assurance in some in history
and historicity that we have learned by and that we've operated by I have experience and proof to
back up that one like I feel very very safe with that one okay well so you know in other words me
you know okay well how do I feel about this one truly acknowledging how is it that I feel
oh I don't like that one I like that one I want it I really want it because it's a nicer fan and I
would be cooler and it's and it's less likely to break and and um uh excuse me in fact speaking
about that I don't want to forget that let me mention because I wanted
um but I don't want it to break and um and so I really really like that one but
my soul yearns for that one but I'm afraid I don't know that I don't feel safe it's very unfamiliar
and I don't feel safe so I don't like it so I would rather deny a desire in order to be safe
so that's how I feel okay that's how I feel and it's important to do that because you'll get
weird way to phrase it but you'll get over yourself faster you'll stop doing all of these
things that you don't like doing and you don't like feeling and you don't like the fact that
it's coming up out of you it'll it'll move on and past you but you'll move past it and you'll mature
faster if you just acknowledge the fact and bring in other words bring it from darkness into the
light you neutralize its power if it stays in darkness it it you it gives you give it um uh it
increases its power so anyway so my soul has had its say so now I let my spirit come in and I'm
like okay now soul okay you be quiet and now it's actually quiet as opposed to I'm trying to hear my
spirit I'm trying to hear God you know and I don't know there's just too much noise I don't know you
know this thing that I'm feeling is that me or is that God because I like it but I don't and I feel
afraid but I feel at peace and what what is it that I think what is it that I feel where is all
this going it's because we've got two things talking to us at the same time one at a time
let the soul talk first and now that it's talked it will be quiet you'll discover that it'll be
quiet now you can feel okay where to what degree have I matured in my faith you don't have to be
here if you're only five in your faith that's okay you only have to you only only be five
you don't have to believe for this even though you're going to believe for this
you know years later because you're going to know God to that extent to what extent do you
believe God now and that's what you're trying to understand to what degree is my faith to what
degree do I believe in the love and goodness of God and it's going and I'm going to see that and
how it is my spirit responds here because my spirit is going to be drawn to whichever one
where I feel where I feel God will come through for me on but again Shadrach Meshach and Abednego
but even if he doesn't they said God will save us they didn't say he could they said God will
save us they made an absolute declaration and then they said but even if he doesn't so they
declared an absolute so where is it that you believe that God will come through for you but
I'm not going to hold his character my belief of his love and his goodness
in it hostage to whether or not it ends up being true.
That's, that we're not even talking, you know, that I'm like, no, that's not part of the decision.
I'm choosing what is it that I believe about my God?
What is it in this moment in creation I am putting forth in action?
Who do I say God is?
And so I asked my spirit, okay, spirit, what do you think about this one?
And then I'll fill a particular way.
And if I remember, if I remember correctly, I think I felt kind of neutral.
I was like, I don't know, do I feel good about that?
Do I feel bad about that?
Is that a good feeling?
Is that a bad feeling?
I don't know.
So I'm like, okay, well, give it something to compare to.
I'm like, okay, well, I'll come back to that one.
And then I, and then I looked at this one.
Okay, what does my spirit feel about this one?
Do I, do I have peace here?
You're looking for where your soul finds peace.
And now we're looking for where our spirit finds peace.
We're looking for peace.
Where do you settle within?
And so I thought, okay, does my spirit feel peace over here?
I don't know.
So I give it something to compare it to.
Does my spirit feel peace right here?
Yes.
It was like that is who I, I did two things.
I thought that is who I know my God to be.
In other words, that I am choosing that my God is.
But that is, but oh my word, it still feels like a stretch.
So I told God, I said, God, this is who I want to choose
and to step out actively to where I risk,
and I receive the worldly consequences if I'm wrong.
I want to believe that this is who you are.
I want to believe that you are this love and this good.
Not that I wanted to out of my soul.
No, my spirit wanted to.
My spirit said, okay, I have faith, but I would like to stretch it.
I would like to receive more of God's love.
And so, and move into a new realm of God's love.
So I have to, I have to challenge it,
and I have to push past the boundary that I've been,
that I was, you know, have been in past circumstances.
I'm pushing the boundary.
And so I'm like, okay, now my soul's had its say.
Now my spirit's had its say.
I know my spirit, soul has found peace here.
I know my spirit has found peace here.
Now make a decision.
Which one do you want?
Do you want to go where your, where your spirit finds peace?
Or do you want to go where your soul finds peace?
Sometimes it will be in the same place,
but sometimes your spirit will find peace
in the place of your soul's greatest fear.
Not always, because you may not be mature to the point,
you know, in your faith that, because your faith,
if you're going to step out on that thing,
your faith has to actually be,
your faith has to be mature to the point that
if you stepped out on it, it would sustain you in reality.
So don't just say, oh my goodness,
I believe God's going to give me a million dollars,
so I'm going to go sign, sign a check today.
No, we're making that up out of nowhere.
You know, we, we don't have,
or at least I don't have the, have the faith yet,
you know, or whatever.
Now if God's, you know, came to me, you know,
and said it in a particular form, then I, then,
you know, then I might.
But if he also came to me tonight in a dream and said that,
oh, I don't know.
I'd be like, you know what?
I probably need to get like 10 different opinions
about the interpretation of that dream.
You know, what it could possibly mean.
You know, I would doubt it.
So in other words, go wherever your faith is at.
There's no condemnation for going wherever your faith is at.
If you're five, be five.
If you're five years old in, in, in faith,
you're not expected to act like you're 35.
You'll be 35 one day, but you're not today.
And so God's saying, be five.
So if your soul, if your spirit finds peace, you know,
where your soul does, then go with that.
It doesn't mean that, that it's wrong.
So anyway, but I said, out of the both of them,
I'm going to risk myself and my, my, my food,
my future possibilities, a relationship that might,
where someone might think badly of me if I get to such a bad point
where I actually have to ask somebody else for food.
And then they wonder what it is that I did with my budget.
Well, with my last little bit, I spent it on a fan, you know,
I mean, that's embarrassing.
And then they're going to remember that.
And I mean, I mean, it sounds funny, but in dire situations, I,
trust me in Walmart, that's what was going through my mind.
I was, I was thinking of reputations.
I was thinking like if word gets out, if something, you know, if,
you know, if, if, if, if my, if my,
if I end up bearing a particular type of consequence that makes my
decision and my risk public, you know,
I'm like, okay, that's what I'm risking.
That's what I'm risking here.
And it sounds like such a little deal, but this isn't a little deal.
It's dealing with a very serious thing.
The point isn't how much money it was and how much money I had in the
bank.
The point is how it was affecting me.
It's getting at this deep rooted lie that I had about God.
God, and I'm trying to overcome and say, no, God has said something different and I'm going
to receive his word.
But I'm trying to figure out where his, where's his word, where's his word speaking?
Who is it that he's saying that he is?
So my spirit, where does my, my spirit knows God, my spirit has seen God, where has my
spirit matured to the point where I sense that he is?
And I chose this one.
So I told God, I want to believe that you're that.
So I'm going to take this and I, and I picked up the, and I picked up the box and I said,
God, in my mind, God, I believe you are this good.
This is why I am picking this.
I'm not picking it because I'm wanting it.
I'm picking it because I'm, I'm seeking you.
I'm seeking your character, not your manifestation, not my comfort.
I am seeking, where are you and what do you look like and what does love and goodness
look like?
And I picked up the fan saying, this is why I'm getting this one and I took it back, um,
works great.
Um, everything was fine.
Would you know that central air I think was off for at least a month and a half.
And would you know that that fan from Walmart, which had a one year warranty, went out when
the central air came back on.
It broke.
I don't, I don't know how it stopped working.
It's like, Oh, I got the big one.
The $17 one.
I'm sorry.
Yeah.
I got $17 one.
No, I didn't because it had served its purpose and I loved that.
I'm like, that is my God.
He supplied for me and I don't need it anymore.
I don't need it.
I didn't need to get my money back.
I loved not getting my money back because I didn't need the money.
My God just proves that he provides for me.
So anyway, it was, it was really neat.
So that is how I learned to make decisions in Walmart and now that's how I teach everybody
else to do it because I do that in very big decisions, very big decisions.
So the last thing that I want to say in connecting the desires of our heart with making decisions
is understand you can start taking risks by without waiting, Oh God, what are you saying
about you?
Remember me with the fan.
I'm like, I'm trying to figure out which, which one are you saying you are?
Are you saying that your responsibility and wisdom God, and that's the one I need to pick
or are you saying that, that your love and your goodness is coming through wisdom because
this is you, or are you saying that your love and your wisdom is coming in a different way?
Like maybe I might term it as, as abundance or as, or as, or as luxury or as, um, as whatever,
you know, where, where are you currently Lord?
What is, what are you saying about yourself?
That's what it is that God honors and that's why I picked up that box and it was like,
this is who God is.
God, this is how I'm picking this box because I'm declaring this as who you are.
When you're making decisions and when you are, um, and you're wondering, what does God
want me to do?
Does God want me to do this in my business or not?
Make your decisions, not based off of what it is that you want to do or what it is that
you think is wise, pick, make your decisions, um, and even don't even make your decisions
based off of how it is that it affects you.
Make your, I encourage you to expand your world into the limitless, into being able
to receive the limitlessness of God, which we can't dictate to him because we can only
ask for him what it is that we know and we have, and we have context for.
You would have to allow the limitlessness of God by not being able to dictate it because
you can't dictate limitlessness because you've never been exposed to it before.
So, so anyway, when, um, I pick a decision based off of God according to how my relationship
with you, we're doing this together, my relationship with you has developed this far, I, I'm looking
for your character.
Where are you?
Because I want to look like you.
You're maturing me to look like you.
What do you, what do you look like?
Not what I think from Sunday school and from how I've traditionally viewed the Bible with
such limitlessness, according to a very limited, you know, filter, so in such limitlessness,
how I think that the Bible is supposed to be interpreted, he's a being, he's a being.
So in your experience and relationship of, um, that's been developed with this being,
who does your, where does your spirit, your spirit sense the character of the God to,
to whom you've, you've come to know him thus far?
What is the God that you've come to know thus far?
The degree of intimacy and, and to which that you've abided in him, where do you find that
and pick it to start acting like the character of God, to start acting like your father?
What you believe is a reflection.
of the character of God, and trust that when you do it from that place, trust the
desires of your heart. But listen to your spirit, not your soul, that's going to
usually, until it comes into alignment with God, it's going to be making its
decisions and its beliefs of the desires of its heart based off of
fear and past traumas, and it's trying to cope. So the desires of your heart are
deeper than where it is, than the place from which we're making decisions out of
fear. So we have to ignore that one, but the place of the desires of your heart
is a good thing, follow it. Believe, stepping out in that aspect of the
desires of your heart, is actually believing that what God says is
true, because he says that you are good, and that good things come out of you. If
you believe it, and if you believe that there are good things in you, and that
you have good desires of your heart, and you're shifted into the Spirit, and you
sense, I believe that this is the desire of my heart, and in creation I believe
that I desire my spirit, not my soul that's in fear or that wants
something to self-preserve because I think I could get a lot of money or
whatever. No, no, no, my spirit, where does my spirit want it? Where does my spirit
seek to express the desires of its heart? My spirit, Lord, desires this, and my
spirit always desires you, and always desires to look like you, so that's why
the desires of your heart, when you make them from your spirit, match who it is
that you think the character of God is. And make that decision, and step out
saying, God, remember because faith without works is dead, so if you
truly believe it, you'll do it. And whatever you choose, own the
decision, and God honors the fact that if God honors us making, and loves, and
is pleased by the fact that we make a decision based off of how we're seeking,
because if we choose it because we say, God, I think that's who you are, and
that's why I'm picking it. I'm not picking it out of fear, and my soul may
like it, it may not, that doesn't matter. If your soul likes it, it doesn't mean
it's bad, so go where you're, you know, forget whatever your soul is
doing, whether it likes what your spirit's doing or not, it's fine, but go
where your spirit senses is the character of God, and step out in it, and
God, then God, what God will do, remember God doesn't move a parked car, God wants
you to move. He won't violate your free will, so start moving, and then the two
of you can guide together, so step out in it. It doesn't mean that that's what God
looks like, but that's not the point. God's so excited, He's like, you think
that of me? I like that. I like the fact that you believe that what you
think that looks like love and goodness, and you've interpreted in your mind to
mean that, and you're saying that that's who I am, and that is
beautiful, that's wonderful, I feel loved. I love that that's why you chose that
decision. Now that you've made that decision, I want to reveal something more
to you about myself that you didn't know, and you didn't, and unless you
know, as I'm maturing you in wisdom, that actually doesn't reflect my character,
but I'm just gonna father you into that, and we're just gonna learn this
together, but He likes the fact that you made the decision because you made it
seeking Him, so what God is doing is God is judging us by the intent
of our heart in seeking Him instead of seeking to quiet our own fear, so feel, so
that is where you can feel safe with risking decisions, risking your heart,
risking the desires of your heart, when you don't hear very clearly God saying
thou shalt do this. That makes us feel a bit more secure, but if we don't hear it,
then we feel insecure, and we're like, I don't know what to do. What if I make the
wrong decision, and I have to bear the wrong, and then I have to bear the
consequences of having done any wrong thing? Remember, God's like, what's the
intent of your heart? Are you seeking to look and act like me, and that's why you
chose that decision? Not who you think that I am based off of, well, it says in
1st Corinthians, and making it all about the head. Now, sure, if it says it in
1st Corinthians, and you know that about God and your personal
relationship, that's perfectly fine. I'm saying that ignoring a being that you
have a personal, intimate, spiritual relationship with, ignoring that aspect,
and trying to look for an answer outside of
of yourself, outside of your union with God,
outside of God, I wanna say outside of yourself,
meaning outside of the spirit that's connected to God.
I'm not talking about look to yourself
for in isolation for wisdom, I don't mean that.
Who you are, your spirit, as one with God,
that's what I'm talking about.
I know God might affirm it to you in the Bible,
and that's great, but the reason that you're choosing
what you're choosing is I am unified in marriage
and in a covenant marriage with a being,
and that is who I am seeking to find,
where is, where is the, what decision,
how can I start acting like I'm being matured
to act like God, how do I think that he would act
based off of the fact that I've been living with him
and abiding with him and watch him do all kinds of things
that I would have never expected.
Now that I know that being, what do I think
reflects that being, and okay God, I'm gonna do this
because I think this looks like you.
God loves that, and he gives us a safe environment
in which to make mistakes because of why we chose it.
He judges us on the intent of our heart,
not on the outward circumstances of our behavior.
It's not about what you do, it's about how you be,
about who, it's about how you, how you,
that how you live from who it is that you are.
Again, spirit, we always have to flow in life,
we always have to operate in spirit.
Okay, so that is, that's the last thing that I had,
so we're gonna play a song really quick,
and then we are gonna have, what time is it?
Well, okay, so it is five, so for any of you
who would like to stay for just a little bit,
we'll just stay for, instead of, yeah,
so we'll just stay for just a little bit,
for any of you who would like to,
if you really have to leave because it's five,
do not worry about it, please feel free,
but we'll just combine testimony and question
and answer time, and if you have something to say,
you know, we'll pass around a microphone,
and then when we're done with that, we can all leave.
So thank you all so much for coming,
and we'll just, we'll play this one last song real quick.
Okay.
♪ I come out of agreement ♪
♪ With the lie that you have left me on my own ♪
♪ Oh, I am not alone ♪
♪ I come out of agreement ♪
♪ With the worry and the fear I've come to know ♪
♪ They won't have a hold on me ♪
♪ Protector, you never, never, never let me go ♪
♪ You said you wouldn't leave me and you won't ♪
♪ You're right by my side ♪
♪ Protector, I come into agreement ♪
♪ With the truth that you are who you say you are ♪
♪ I can trust your heart, I come into agreement ♪
♪ With what heaven has declared over my life ♪
♪ Cause I know that you'll fight for me ♪
♪ Protector, you never, never, never let me go ♪
♪ You said you wouldn't leave me and you won't ♪
♪ You're right by my side ♪
♪ Protector, you hide me in the shadow of your wings ♪
♪ Your presence is my peace, my covering, my song in the night ♪
♪ Protector, Protector ♪
♪ No weapon, no worry will prosper against me ♪
♪ No darkness, no evil will tease or torment me ♪
♪ No weapon, no worry will prosper against me ♪
♪ No darkness, no evil will tease or torment me ♪
♪ Oh, power of dominion ♪
♪ Do what name is given, my fortress, my freedom, my refuge, my Jesus. All power come in you. Do what name is given, my fortress, my freedom, my refuge, my Jesus.
♪ Protector, you would never, never, never let me go. You said you wouldn't leave me and you were, you're right by my side.
♪ Protector, you hide me in the shadow of your wings. Your presence is my peace, my covering, my song in the night.
♪ Protector, oh, Protector. I believe it, I believe it. You are who you say you are. You never ever leave, you never ever leave, no.
♪ Let that faith rise up in us tonight. Let that faith rise up in us tonight. As fear is broken up, as fear falls away, as worry is silenced.
♪ At the sound of your name tonight, Jesus. Oh.
♪ No weapon, no worry will prosper against me. No darkness, no evil will tease or torment me. No weapon, no worry will prosper against me. No darkness, no evil will tease or torment me.
♪ Oh, power come in to what name is given. My fortress, my freedom, my refuge, my Jesus. Oh, power come in to what name is given.
♪ My fortress, my freedom, my refuge, my Jesus. Protector, you never, never, never let me go. You said you wouldn't leave me and you won't. You're right by my side.
♪ Protector, you hide me in the shadow of your wings. Your presence is my peace, my covering, my song in the night.
♪ Protector, oh. Protector, oh. Protector.