WEBVTT

1
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:07.040
You've already started stepping out into rest and starting to do things with intention,

2
00:00:07.040 --> 00:00:08.520
which was the commitment gesture.

3
00:00:08.520 --> 00:00:10.480
It's extremely important.

4
00:00:10.480 --> 00:00:13.920
So before you even knew what it was, some of y'all that I was even going to be talking

5
00:00:13.920 --> 00:00:19.840
about other than rest, you were actually already doing, you were already taking a step that

6
00:00:19.840 --> 00:00:21.160
is in the right direction.

7
00:00:21.160 --> 00:00:27.680
You're already starting to implement certain actions that we have to take as sons of God

8
00:00:27.920 --> 00:00:30.960
if we want to change, if we want to shift into rest.

9
00:00:30.960 --> 00:00:38.760
And so in the commitment gesture, you were using your power of intention and saying,

10
00:00:38.760 --> 00:00:43.760
this is what I desire, Lord, and I'm stepping into it, and this is how serious that I am.

11
00:00:43.760 --> 00:00:49.000
And that is actually setting you spiritually on a particular trajectory.

12
00:00:49.000 --> 00:00:54.040
And there is a bit of breakthrough that comes just because you made that step, and the amount

13
00:00:54.040 --> 00:00:56.400
of money did not matter.

14
00:00:56.400 --> 00:01:01.400
The reason that, and y'all know from having read this, that the money, that the actual

15
00:01:01.400 --> 00:01:05.880
amount was all about what that amount meant to you.

16
00:01:05.880 --> 00:01:08.560
Do you take $10 seriously or do you not?

17
00:01:08.560 --> 00:01:11.840
Do you take $2,000 seriously or do you not?

18
00:01:11.840 --> 00:01:14.800
It's all relative to you.

19
00:01:14.800 --> 00:01:17.720
You're trying to get your soul's attention.

20
00:01:17.720 --> 00:01:25.680
So when you are, but the important thing is that in moving forward with intention, we

21
00:01:25.680 --> 00:01:32.220
do it all from a place of rest, and you've already started that process.

22
00:01:32.220 --> 00:01:38.280
So we're going to continue that by me highly recommending to everyone, a very shocking

23
00:01:38.280 --> 00:01:45.520
thing, I highly recommend from experience with myself and with my clients to not take

24
00:01:45.520 --> 00:01:47.520
notes.

25
00:01:47.520 --> 00:01:51.880
So you will have the recordings, so you don't have to worry.

26
00:01:51.880 --> 00:01:52.880
It's all there.

27
00:01:52.880 --> 00:01:57.520
The reason why is you're, we are more than our mind.

28
00:01:57.520 --> 00:02:00.280
We're more than our, than what we can put through our brain.

29
00:02:00.280 --> 00:02:08.479
In fact, only 5% of our decisions, our activities, how we even send intention out into the world,

30
00:02:08.479 --> 00:02:15.600
only 5% of that actually scientists say, non-believing scientists say that goes through our brain.

31
00:02:15.600 --> 00:02:20.680
95% of our life and our decisions is driven by our subconscious.

32
00:02:20.680 --> 00:02:23.280
Our will is deeper than our mind.

33
00:02:23.280 --> 00:02:27.180
And that also means so that what that means is that there are, there's more to us than

34
00:02:27.180 --> 00:02:33.440
just what we can, that just what we can shovel and kind of funnel through, through our brain.

35
00:02:33.440 --> 00:02:38.760
And we're wanting to allow those other aspects of ourselves to have a part in our journey.

36
00:02:38.760 --> 00:02:43.120
They are all meant to function in a way that we don't consciously know how to direct them

37
00:02:43.120 --> 00:02:47.740
in, but they were created by God to function in a particular way.

38
00:02:47.740 --> 00:02:49.680
They know how to work.

39
00:02:49.680 --> 00:02:52.280
We don't, we don't know how they need to work.

40
00:02:52.280 --> 00:02:57.480
We need to let them be themselves and we need to allow our whole self, which is both, which

41
00:02:57.480 --> 00:03:02.160
is all spirit, soul, and body to have a part in the transition.

42
00:03:02.160 --> 00:03:08.600
So the aspect of not taking notes allows you to sit back and begin to practice receiving

43
00:03:08.600 --> 00:03:14.120
and allowing your soul and your spirit subconsciously to shift you into rest.

44
00:03:14.120 --> 00:03:16.440
Do you see how effortless it is?

45
00:03:16.440 --> 00:03:21.700
So it's not, we're not, we are not working hard so that we can finally rest.

46
00:03:21.700 --> 00:03:25.120
You can't have rest unless you rest.

47
00:03:25.120 --> 00:03:28.360
You can't have rest unless you stop.

48
00:03:28.360 --> 00:03:31.320
So that's what we're going to be talking about this whole weekend.

49
00:03:31.320 --> 00:03:32.320
Stop.

50
00:03:32.320 --> 00:03:35.480
Whatever you're doing, just stop.

51
00:03:35.480 --> 00:03:40.280
It's that easy because we're already everything we wanted to be.

52
00:03:40.280 --> 00:03:42.000
So I highly recommend that you don't take notes.

53
00:03:42.000 --> 00:03:43.160
You can do whatever you want.

54
00:03:43.160 --> 00:03:48.440
Some people can only pay attention if they're taking notes or, but I recommend you don't

55
00:03:48.440 --> 00:03:50.160
think about what you're writing.

56
00:03:50.160 --> 00:03:54.640
If you can just write just because you're listening to me and you're mindlessly writing,

57
00:03:54.640 --> 00:03:55.640
that's great.

58
00:03:55.640 --> 00:03:57.280
If you want to doodle, that's great.

59
00:03:57.280 --> 00:04:01.040
Highly recommend that whatever it is you do, you're not mentally engaging with it.

60
00:04:01.040 --> 00:04:02.040
That's the whole point.

61
00:04:02.040 --> 00:04:04.360
It's just allow, do whatever you need to do.

62
00:04:04.360 --> 00:04:08.800
Y'all are adults, free will beings, but that's what I would highly recommend.

63
00:04:08.800 --> 00:04:13.640
And that's one of the ways you can start practicing receiving.

64
00:04:13.640 --> 00:04:16.000
Jonathan, is this okay?

65
00:04:16.000 --> 00:04:19.240
I think it keeps changing the volume.

66
00:04:19.240 --> 00:04:20.240
So I'm wondering if I'm moving.

67
00:04:20.240 --> 00:04:21.240
Am I moving it?

68
00:04:21.240 --> 00:04:22.240
Are we good?

69
00:04:22.240 --> 00:04:23.240
Just your fluctuation.

70
00:04:23.240 --> 00:04:24.240
Okay, perfect.

71
00:04:24.240 --> 00:04:27.240
Just wanted to make sure.

72
00:04:27.240 --> 00:04:31.720
Okay, because remember, when we receive, the reason that we can receive is that there's

73
00:04:31.720 --> 00:04:34.200
nothing left to do.

74
00:04:34.200 --> 00:04:35.400
God's already died.

75
00:04:35.400 --> 00:04:36.680
He's already had the victory.

76
00:04:36.680 --> 00:04:38.200
He says that we're already one with him.

77
00:04:38.600 --> 00:04:40.880
We're already one with him in spirit.

78
00:04:40.880 --> 00:04:43.240
He says that we can't come to him by behavior.

79
00:04:43.240 --> 00:04:44.760
There's nothing left to do.

80
00:04:44.760 --> 00:04:47.320
So we just, we can receive everything.

81
00:04:47.320 --> 00:04:50.480
Another thing, how to receive some of the information that I'll be talking about.

82
00:04:50.480 --> 00:04:54.760
So some of it for, some of y'all have heard this before.

83
00:04:54.760 --> 00:04:57.000
Others of y'all have never heard it before.

84
00:04:57.000 --> 00:05:00.040
So I wanted to give y'all a recommendation of how to.

85
00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:05.000
Listen to new revelations from the Lord.

86
00:05:05.000 --> 00:05:10.000
I highly recommend, remember, you're not trying to be convinced by me.

87
00:05:10.000 --> 00:05:14.000
I am just up here telling you what I believe.

88
00:05:14.000 --> 00:05:16.000
I'm telling you how I live.

89
00:05:16.000 --> 00:05:22.000
I'm telling you what I've had to own in my life and what I literally live out, and it's transformed my life.

90
00:05:22.000 --> 00:05:26.000
You can choose to have part of it if you want, but you receive it from the Lord.

91
00:05:26.000 --> 00:05:28.000
You don't receive it from me.

92
00:05:28.000 --> 00:05:30.000
So when I'm talking, you just listen.

93
00:05:30.000 --> 00:05:32.000
What is your spirit saying?

94
00:05:32.000 --> 00:05:34.000
Where is your spirit coming alive?

95
00:05:34.000 --> 00:05:39.000
If your spirit comes alive, it means your spirit already knew that thing.

96
00:05:39.000 --> 00:05:40.000
You already knew it.

97
00:05:40.000 --> 00:05:48.000
It's between you and the Father, and you can 100% receive that revelation that the Lord is giving you in your spirit into yourself,

98
00:05:48.000 --> 00:05:51.000
because that will allow it to transform you.

99
00:05:51.000 --> 00:05:56.000
But if there's something that maybe I say and you're not really sure about that,

100
00:05:56.000 --> 00:06:02.000
I don't really know about that, I would highly recommend don't immediately reject it,

101
00:06:02.000 --> 00:06:10.000
because what that does is internally and spiritually we start shutting down, and that's an actual problem.

102
00:06:10.000 --> 00:06:14.000
What we want to do, this is what I recommend, is this is what I do.

103
00:06:14.000 --> 00:06:19.000
I have something that I call my Area 51 Warehouse,

104
00:06:19.000 --> 00:06:23.000
and when I hear something that I'm just not quite sure about,

105
00:06:23.000 --> 00:06:27.000
something that sounds a little out there, but I don't want to reject it, but I don't want to receive it,

106
00:06:27.000 --> 00:06:30.000
I just stick it in my Area 51 Warehouse and just tell the Lord,

107
00:06:30.000 --> 00:06:35.000
okay, Lord, you can pull it forward if ever it is time to reveal that to me,

108
00:06:35.000 --> 00:06:38.000
and I just am not currently ready to receive the truth.

109
00:06:38.000 --> 00:06:42.000
Maybe I don't have a grid for it, or maybe I'm not supposed to receive it at all.

110
00:06:42.000 --> 00:06:44.000
But right now, Lord, I can't figure it out.

111
00:06:44.000 --> 00:06:47.000
So I'm not going to reject it, but I'm not going to receive it either.

112
00:06:47.000 --> 00:06:49.000
So I'm just going to put it back there and just let it hang out.

113
00:06:49.000 --> 00:06:51.000
There's no problem with that.

114
00:06:51.000 --> 00:06:56.000
Then if God tells you something point blank in your spirit to reject, well, then that's different.

115
00:06:56.000 --> 00:07:02.000
But I wanted to mention about how I would recommend hearing people, not just me,

116
00:07:02.000 --> 00:07:09.000
just hearing people, coming across new ideas.

117
00:07:09.000 --> 00:07:12.000
There's a third option.

118
00:07:12.000 --> 00:07:15.000
We don't have to receive or reject.

119
00:07:15.000 --> 00:07:18.000
We can just kind of stick something back there, and you don't have to be worried

120
00:07:18.000 --> 00:07:24.000
that you could be threatened or corrupted by something that you hear here that you weren't quite sure about.

121
00:07:24.000 --> 00:07:27.000
All denominations are represented in this room.

122
00:07:27.000 --> 00:07:33.000
We have conservative, and then we have way out there, and we have everything in between.

123
00:07:33.000 --> 00:07:38.000
But what we're talking about when we're talking about rest is it's actually extremely foundational.

124
00:07:38.000 --> 00:07:40.000
It's the gospel.

125
00:07:40.000 --> 00:07:43.000
It's what we have as a result of the gospel.

126
00:07:43.000 --> 00:07:45.000
Therefore, it is for everyone.

127
00:07:45.000 --> 00:07:49.000
It is freely and effortlessly received by everyone.

128
00:07:49.000 --> 00:07:56.000
We're learning basically the building blocks from which to do everything else that we've been learning in life so far.

129
00:07:56.000 --> 00:08:01.000
So think of all of the other conferences that you've been through or sometimes you're a pastor or whatever,

130
00:08:01.000 --> 00:08:03.000
teachings, books that you've read.

131
00:08:03.000 --> 00:08:10.000
Some of those are like, think of it kind of like at the high school level or at the university level,

132
00:08:10.000 --> 00:08:14.000
the conferences that you're going to, things that you're trying to do with the Lord.

133
00:08:14.000 --> 00:08:18.000
We are going all the way back to kindergarten with this,

134
00:08:18.000 --> 00:08:26.000
because if you're frustrated with why you're hearing people that you highly respect,

135
00:08:26.000 --> 00:08:31.000
that you highly admire for what it is that they can do and have and be and experience in the Lord,

136
00:08:31.000 --> 00:08:36.000
and no matter how many years you've been in it, you can't seem to break through,

137
00:08:36.000 --> 00:08:38.000
there's something with that foundation.

138
00:08:38.000 --> 00:08:40.000
Go all the way back.

139
00:08:40.000 --> 00:08:47.000
Because everything, everything that we do, everything that all of those people talk about has to be done from rest.

140
00:08:47.000 --> 00:08:55.000
So if you're trying to implement it out of strife and get their same experiences out of strife, it won't work.

141
00:08:55.000 --> 00:09:00.000
They talk about rest, but so often people don't know, yeah, but how do I move into it?

142
00:09:00.000 --> 00:09:02.000
We'll be talking about how to move into it.

143
00:09:02.000 --> 00:09:04.000
So rest is actually very foundational.

144
00:09:05.000 --> 00:09:09.000
And once you get those building blocks in place and once you understand them, don't worry.

145
00:09:09.000 --> 00:09:13.000
We're not going all the way back to ground zero, scrapping all of this and starting over.

146
00:09:13.000 --> 00:09:14.000
We don't have to start over.

147
00:09:14.000 --> 00:09:18.000
We still have all of that, but now because we're getting a new foundation,

148
00:09:18.000 --> 00:09:24.000
now as the Lord will take us back to revisit all of these things, we will move very quickly.

149
00:09:24.000 --> 00:09:29.000
So I started to learn all of this when I was around 34 or 35, and I thought, oh my word.

150
00:09:29.000 --> 00:09:33.000
Once I got this new foundation, I thought, I'm going to have to learn everything all over again.

151
00:09:33.000 --> 00:09:34.000
I discovered I didn't.

152
00:09:34.000 --> 00:09:39.000
I was able to catch up really quickly, and then suddenly I took off.

153
00:09:39.000 --> 00:09:46.000
I had gotten to a point and I couldn't get past that point no matter how many years or decades that I spent on it.

154
00:09:46.000 --> 00:09:52.000
Finally, with that new foundation, I was able to come back up to that point and push past it.

155
00:09:52.000 --> 00:09:55.000
So we're just relaying a new foundation.

156
00:09:55.000 --> 00:09:56.000
We're learning how to read.

157
00:09:56.000 --> 00:09:57.000
So you can go to university.

158
00:09:57.000 --> 00:10:00.000
You can listen to a professor, talk to you about calculus.

159
00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:06.780
In the spirit and all kinds of stuff, but if you don't know how to read you can only go so far

160
00:10:07.640 --> 00:10:13.240
So that's what we're that's what we're going to do. It's very basic. Everything that we're talking about is our inheritance

161
00:10:13.480 --> 00:10:17.280
So it is something that you not only have a right to you already have

162
00:10:17.560 --> 00:10:21.320
We're just learning how to remove the layers that have kept us from understanding

163
00:10:21.720 --> 00:10:23.720
How to access it

164
00:10:23.720 --> 00:10:30.200
Okay, this is really important

165
00:10:32.360 --> 00:10:37.160
Okay, we'll be talking more about this, but I provide I try really

166
00:10:37.680 --> 00:10:43.000
My heart is to provide a very safe and supportive environment for people to be able to shift

167
00:10:43.440 --> 00:10:49.000
Because the what it is that we're going to be facing when we enter rest. We're going to be connecting with God

168
00:10:49.400 --> 00:10:52.300
That's where rest is rest is in God

169
00:10:53.100 --> 00:10:55.100
So if we don't have rest

170
00:10:55.180 --> 00:11:01.420
We haven't we haven't allowed ourselves to get close to him and it's because we're afraid of him

171
00:11:01.660 --> 00:11:07.100
So we're going to be removing that fear and we're going to be we're going to be experiencing God and we're going to be coming

172
00:11:07.180 --> 00:11:10.000
We're going to be entering him and then we're going to discover. Oh my word

173
00:11:10.000 --> 00:11:13.100
I was I was here, but I didn't realize that I was I was here

174
00:11:13.140 --> 00:11:19.220
So in order to do that, this is going to cut this is going to require some very serious choices

175
00:11:19.860 --> 00:11:27.580
So the phrase that I like to use is reckless abandon and I don't mean that I don't mean that gently

176
00:11:28.740 --> 00:11:34.340
It is as scary as all the power that you can think it is all the reasons why we've said no

177
00:11:35.460 --> 00:11:37.460
We have made our lives very complicated

178
00:11:38.260 --> 00:11:45.220
Very painful. They're full of a lot of struggle and we have created that world in all of our effort

179
00:11:45.980 --> 00:11:47.980
Trying to resist and and

180
00:11:48.300 --> 00:11:54.020
Trying to resist him and in all of that effort of saying no, that's how we built this up

181
00:11:54.020 --> 00:11:57.300
we're gonna learn how to stop saying no and

182
00:11:57.940 --> 00:11:58.980
so

183
00:11:58.980 --> 00:12:06.140
Remember that phrase remember the reckless abandon because that whenever you come up and up against an obstacle whenever you're afraid whenever you're scared

184
00:12:06.140 --> 00:12:09.540
You're more than welcome to let me know whenever that happens. I can walk you through it

185
00:12:09.540 --> 00:12:12.620
I have done it so many times over very extreme situations

186
00:12:13.500 --> 00:12:19.380
And remember in those times remember that phrase reckless abandon because that's what it requires

187
00:12:21.740 --> 00:12:24.400
And the fastest way that we can become like our father

188
00:12:24.820 --> 00:12:29.460
You know in in doing this in being like just recklessly abandoning ourselves to something

189
00:12:29.500 --> 00:12:34.020
The fastest way that we can actually become like our father is to start acting like him

190
00:12:34.660 --> 00:12:36.300
Not to learn about him

191
00:12:36.300 --> 00:12:39.180
Jump in before you know and figure it out on the ground

192
00:12:39.380 --> 00:12:43.020
And this is the last person in the world that I thought would ever tell you that I

193
00:12:44.180 --> 00:12:46.180
built my entire life

194
00:12:47.020 --> 00:12:54.500
Observing and waiting until everything was perfect before I would step in and so I got to a point where I was so desperate

195
00:12:54.500 --> 00:12:57.900
I realized nope, that's not going to work and I put everything on the line

196
00:12:57.900 --> 00:13:01.460
I put I literally put my life my family my relationships my

197
00:13:01.780 --> 00:13:08.500
relationship with God on the line in order to jump in because nothing was working and that's when I found the Lord and

198
00:13:08.580 --> 00:13:11.060
And in it did require that reckless abandon

199
00:13:12.180 --> 00:13:17.620
Okay, so I'm sorry. I want to try to make sure that hair stand off of that

200
00:13:18.860 --> 00:13:22.140
okay, so let me quickly go walk you through my

201
00:13:23.780 --> 00:13:28.980
Testimony really quick so I was I was very legalistic

202
00:13:28.980 --> 00:13:34.340
I did grow up in a charismatic home, but I was very legalistic. I took that on myself

203
00:13:34.460 --> 00:13:36.700
It was how I interpreted things it was

204
00:13:37.620 --> 00:13:42.060
It was some of the some of the school that I went to some of the some of the church that I was exposed to

205
00:13:42.060 --> 00:13:45.740
Certain things that I would hear someone say and I just interpreted it as very legalistic

206
00:13:45.740 --> 00:13:52.580
I read the Bible like that. So don't ask me how this worked, but I was a five-point Calvinist charismatic. I

207
00:13:53.420 --> 00:13:55.740
Don't know how that's possible. Yes

208
00:13:57.560 --> 00:13:59.560
How did what work oh

209
00:14:01.420 --> 00:14:04.320
Just said that well, there you get there you go. See you caught me there

210
00:14:04.320 --> 00:14:06.240
and

211
00:14:06.240 --> 00:14:10.400
So the I don't know how it worked. That's the problem. That's why I'm I mean hi

212
00:14:10.400 --> 00:14:14.600
I got to the point I realized why isn't this working? Well, it doesn't so I

213
00:14:15.240 --> 00:14:20.080
Yes, it's very very legalistic. You understand you get things with five-point Calvinism are

214
00:14:21.000 --> 00:14:24.400
Are things like limited atonement only so many people can get saved

215
00:14:25.120 --> 00:14:29.760
And God God predestined them and you know, I don't know all kinds of things

216
00:14:30.240 --> 00:14:33.960
So I'm not I'm not talking about about whether those are right or wrong

217
00:14:33.960 --> 00:14:39.520
My point is just to mention those regardless of what it is that we believe even if you are a five-point Calvinist

218
00:14:39.520 --> 00:14:41.520
It is very extreme

219
00:14:41.560 --> 00:14:42.800
so

220
00:14:42.800 --> 00:14:47.400
You know regardless of whether or not it's the truth. It is extreme. So I was extreme in everything

221
00:14:47.400 --> 00:14:49.400
but then I was also charismatic I

222
00:14:50.560 --> 00:14:53.640
Was baptized in the Holy Spirit when I was seven and so I started speaking in tongues

223
00:14:53.640 --> 00:14:59.160
And so I was saved on this for baptized in the Holy Spirit when I was seven baptized in water when I was nine

224
00:14:59.160 --> 00:15:01.560
and

225
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:13.000
But my life was very joyless, very joyless. It was very oppressed, and I didn't understand how I was supposed to—

226
00:15:13.000 --> 00:15:19.000
I didn't feel loved by God, and I didn't understand other people who liked being Christians.

227
00:15:19.000 --> 00:15:26.000
Now, I didn't tell anybody that, but that's what I was thinking. Also, I did not like Jesus.

228
00:15:26.000 --> 00:15:39.000
I really, really didn't like Jesus. God the Father was the one I would always focus on because he's the Father, and he makes all the rules.

229
00:15:39.000 --> 00:15:47.000
But Jesus was my perfect big brother that I was always being compared to against, and I could never match up.

230
00:15:47.000 --> 00:15:53.000
And that brought a lot of resentment. So that was where I came from.

231
00:15:53.000 --> 00:16:01.000
But, of course, you would never know that. I was a perfect little church girl and went to a very conservative Christian college.

232
00:16:01.000 --> 00:16:09.000
And finally, backtracking just a little bit to let you know what was going on in my professional life, because that plays into it.

233
00:16:09.000 --> 00:16:18.000
So I'm 36 now. At the time that the Lord brought me into this threshold, I was 34.

234
00:16:18.000 --> 00:16:29.000
It was December 2018, and I was 34 years old, and I had been a turnaround business consultant with my best friend who's here, so her and her husband.

235
00:16:29.000 --> 00:16:32.000
I was turning consultants with them. They hired me, trained me.

236
00:16:32.000 --> 00:16:40.000
And the things that you have to go through in that industry, especially the type of people that we wanted to help, it's very extreme.

237
00:16:40.000 --> 00:16:51.000
So a turnaround business consultant takes on a company that is either about to go bankrupt, and you're trying to save them the 11th hour, because that's when they find you is in the 11th hour,

238
00:16:51.000 --> 00:17:01.000
or they've already settled for bankruptcy, and then they save turnaround consultants to grow them very radically so that they won't be like that again,

239
00:17:01.000 --> 00:17:08.000
or you're taking a company that's local and couldn't break through the glass ceiling into national, and you help them finally break through.

240
00:17:08.000 --> 00:17:13.000
Point in explaining that, it's extreme. It's beyond normal business consulting.

241
00:17:13.000 --> 00:17:22.000
It was fire all day, every day. Everybody that you work with, all of your friends and colleagues, all of their lives and their families,

242
00:17:22.000 --> 00:17:31.000
livelihoods are on the line for decisions that you are making like that, and I burnt out.

243
00:17:31.000 --> 00:17:42.000
So I burnt out personally because of how I was living my life. I felt that I was constantly oppressed, that God at least needed something from me,

244
00:17:42.000 --> 00:17:48.000
that it was about my behavior, not about who it is that I was. It's all about what it is that I did and didn't do.

245
00:17:48.000 --> 00:17:56.000
So I burnt out, obviously in that, spiritually as well, and then as you can tell, I burnt out professionally.

246
00:17:56.000 --> 00:18:06.000
I burnt out in all three of those areas multiple times, multiple times in my life, because I'm one of those people that drive so hard, I literally will drive to death.

247
00:18:06.000 --> 00:18:18.000
Physical death, physically and in my professional life, I will risk whatever is necessary to do what I think is right, not what necessarily is right,

248
00:18:18.000 --> 00:18:24.000
but whatever it is that I'm thinking must be right. I will run everything into the ground, sacrifice everything, relationships.

249
00:18:24.000 --> 00:18:32.000
The only thing that I would not risk was my relationship with the Lord. So finally, that was the final thing I had to risk.

250
00:18:33.000 --> 00:18:40.000
So it was very, very extreme, so I was absolutely exhausted. December 2018, I had all of these dreams that I had built up for 34 years,

251
00:18:40.000 --> 00:18:52.000
and I just thought, oh, if I just endure, if I had faith, if I just keep doing the right thing, what I thought was the right thing, then finally I would get my reward.

252
00:18:53.000 --> 00:19:05.000
So December 2018, I was hit with the realization, something happened, I was triggered, and I realized that people around me had been given all, not some,

253
00:19:05.000 --> 00:19:15.000
literally all of the dreams and all of the gifts that I had ever asked God for, all of them. All of the people around me received all the dreams,

254
00:19:15.000 --> 00:19:31.000
and I didn't receive one, not even one, nothing, and I had it. And I had struggled with depression and PTSD when I was in college and then out of college for about seven years.

255
00:19:31.000 --> 00:19:39.000
Anxiety, you know, would hyperventilate, have terrible, terrible demonic nightmares, and I struggled with all of that for about seven years.

256
00:19:39.000 --> 00:19:46.000
Finally, thankfully, the Lord healed me and saved me from all of that, but I'd been healed from that for quite a while by the time I hit 34.

257
00:19:46.000 --> 00:19:54.000
So when I hit 34, and I was triggered again, I went down to suicide level again, because I'd been at suicide level back then.

258
00:19:54.000 --> 00:19:59.000
I went down to suicide level in hours. It was that fast.

259
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:06.360
to suicidal in hours because my brain you know my emotions knew that path it

260
00:20:06.360 --> 00:20:11.520
was very very familiar so I had I realized I remember standing in my

261
00:20:11.520 --> 00:20:15.960
bathroom I think it was December 27th 2018 and it was like I saw this open

262
00:20:15.960 --> 00:20:21.240
vision I had been literally crying for almost 48 hours my eyes were so swollen

263
00:20:21.240 --> 00:20:26.160
that they almost couldn't open and and I I was just I was plummeting fast and I

264
00:20:26.160 --> 00:20:29.440
saw it's like I saw this this vision or something it was like I could see

265
00:20:29.440 --> 00:20:35.480
myself outside of myself and I was and I was spiraling down and and and I was

266
00:20:35.480 --> 00:20:40.760
just feeling my soul just fall into the suicidal depression and and I and I

267
00:20:40.760 --> 00:20:43.960
thought okay Ashley you've been there before you've been in that pit now yes

268
00:20:43.960 --> 00:20:48.680
God is there God is that the low because I had been at what God told me was the

269
00:20:48.680 --> 00:20:52.720
lowest point that a human could get he said Ashley I was I remember I was down

270
00:20:52.720 --> 00:20:56.720
on my knees I was just I was just exhausted and God said Ashley when

271
00:20:56.720 --> 00:21:01.480
people lose spouses or children this is where they go he said this is as low as

272
00:21:01.480 --> 00:21:05.640
a human being can go and he said and he gave me a promise he said I promise you

273
00:21:05.640 --> 00:21:09.380
will never be here again but you've got to get out of this and you've got to

274
00:21:09.380 --> 00:21:14.880
choose me so all that I chose was that he was real I didn't even choose that he

275
00:21:14.880 --> 00:21:19.480
was good I just chose he was real and so that happened like 12 years ago or

276
00:21:19.480 --> 00:21:23.040
whatever so by the time that I'm now in this place where I'm watching myself

277
00:21:23.040 --> 00:21:26.400
spiral down again I'm thinking okay I've been there before and I am NOT

278
00:21:26.400 --> 00:21:30.400
going back because I can hear God there because God's everywhere so I know he's

279
00:21:30.400 --> 00:21:34.440
in that deep dark pit but it's really hard for me to hear him down there and to

280
00:21:34.440 --> 00:21:38.760
have the courage to make the choice that I need to I know that I'm going to but

281
00:21:38.760 --> 00:21:42.560
good night I don't want to go through that hell right because that it does

282
00:21:42.560 --> 00:21:48.080
that feels like hell right there so I what I did is I made a choice very an

283
00:21:48.080 --> 00:21:52.000
intentional decision that power of intention we'll be talking about that on

284
00:21:52.000 --> 00:21:56.040
Sunday and I reached out with my hand not literally with my hand but it's like

285
00:21:56.040 --> 00:21:59.640
I could see in this vision that this hand went out from me and I chose to

286
00:21:59.640 --> 00:22:04.320
grab myself up by the scruff of my neck and yank myself up and internally I felt

287
00:22:04.320 --> 00:22:09.280
my soul rise I'm like okay all right so that was a close one so I was actually

288
00:22:09.280 --> 00:22:12.880
spiritually doing that to my soul it's very very interesting I was very

289
00:22:12.880 --> 00:22:15.420
interesting experience I've never interacted with a vision before but hey

290
00:22:15.420 --> 00:22:19.040
you know when you're in that situation you don't question it all I knew is that

291
00:22:19.040 --> 00:22:24.800
I had made a choice I'd made a very powerful choice to save myself and so I

292
00:22:24.800 --> 00:22:29.880
then told the Lord okay God all I know is that everything that I have done so

293
00:22:29.880 --> 00:22:37.400
far in life hasn't worked nothing has worked I believed that your that your

294
00:22:37.400 --> 00:22:41.320
pleasure came through my through everyone's spiritual maturity so your

295
00:22:41.320 --> 00:22:43.760
pleasure came through my spiritual maturity more spiritually mature I

296
00:22:43.760 --> 00:22:48.320
became the more you were pleased with me and my spiritual maturity came through

297
00:22:48.320 --> 00:22:53.560
pain I thought that that's how we got spiritual maturity the more pain you go

298
00:22:53.560 --> 00:22:58.400
through the more spiritually mature you become and the more pleased God is with

299
00:22:58.400 --> 00:23:05.520
you so so that meant that I saw pain the higher the pain the greater God's

300
00:23:05.520 --> 00:23:12.760
pleasure very twisted an idea of who it is that God is but I because I believed

301
00:23:12.760 --> 00:23:16.840
that the higher the pain the more God's pleasure I embraced pain when it came to

302
00:23:16.840 --> 00:23:21.680
me I didn't just I didn't just deal with it I embraced it and took it into

303
00:23:21.680 --> 00:23:27.200
me I made it harder and then if enough pain didn't come my way I would seek it

304
00:23:27.200 --> 00:23:33.000
out and create it because I'm trying so very hard to please my God so very hard

305
00:23:33.000 --> 00:23:37.240
to get close to him so I told God this is what I've been doing so far and Lord

306
00:23:37.240 --> 00:23:41.320
whenever I've made a decision I would not move forward or backward unless I

307
00:23:41.320 --> 00:23:44.600
heard your voice wouldn't move forward or backward unless she told me so and

308
00:23:44.920 --> 00:23:48.560
then unless somebody came to me and I absolutely had to do make a decision

309
00:23:48.560 --> 00:23:52.400
right then and then the way I would make a decision is okay what is it that I

310
00:23:52.400 --> 00:23:56.680
want to do then I won't do that one what is it that I not wanted that I don't

311
00:23:56.680 --> 00:24:00.760
want to do this one so this is the one I'm gonna do so I always did what I

312
00:24:00.760 --> 00:24:05.080
didn't want to do and would never allow myself to do what I wanted this is who I

313
00:24:05.080 --> 00:24:12.280
thought God was so this is that this is who God has saved me from so like I said

314
00:24:12.280 --> 00:24:16.280
in in that December I told God okay none of that worked but I don't know

315
00:24:16.280 --> 00:24:19.960
what does so until you show me I'm asking that you show me what really does

316
00:24:19.960 --> 00:24:25.000
work but until you show that to me I'm going to start doing the opposite of

317
00:24:25.000 --> 00:24:28.600
what I've done in life so far I'm gonna start living the opposite of what it is

318
00:24:28.600 --> 00:24:31.880
that I've lived so I thought okay well what would the opposite be because I'm

319
00:24:31.880 --> 00:24:35.320
not gonna walk away from God because you know I've chosen him so what am I gonna

320
00:24:35.320 --> 00:24:39.800
do and then I thought okay my decisions I'm not gonna do whatever I want to do

321
00:24:39.800 --> 00:24:43.640
if I'm gonna do it that's what I'm gonna do so I started making decisions

322
00:24:43.640 --> 00:24:48.840
and that's when I found my God and I was so weird I still remember exactly where

323
00:24:48.840 --> 00:24:51.800
I was sitting where where my spirit or soul moved or something I made a

324
00:24:51.800 --> 00:24:55.800
decision God this is what I'm gonna do and then my insight my soul moved and it

325
00:24:55.800 --> 00:25:01.080
could breathe my spirit could breathe and I thought there's my God

326
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:06.540
my word. I've been looking for him for 34 years. Then about six months later, I

327
00:25:06.540 --> 00:25:13.200
heard the gospel for the first time in a very transformative way. Obviously, I was

328
00:25:13.200 --> 00:25:16.680
saved when I was four, but I heard about it in such a way that when I interacted

329
00:25:16.680 --> 00:25:20.160
with the gospel in this way, when I interacted with Christ in this way, I

330
00:25:20.160 --> 00:25:24.320
finally felt that huge transformation that you hear about in other people's

331
00:25:24.320 --> 00:25:26.660
testimonies, you know, where they were like drug addicts and then they have

332
00:25:26.660 --> 00:25:31.060
this like moment of blinding light and whatever. And then they just

333
00:25:31.060 --> 00:25:36.700
immediately left their drugs. They had this epiphany. They had

334
00:25:36.700 --> 00:25:41.420
this ecstasy feeling. I thought, what must that be like? It's like everything turned

335
00:25:41.420 --> 00:25:45.700
into technicolor in their lives. I thought, that must be wonderful. But I was four and I

336
00:25:45.700 --> 00:25:52.180
don't feel any different. In fact, I don't like being a Christian. So what is all

337
00:25:52.180 --> 00:25:56.340
that about? I discovered what that was about. So some people remember their

338
00:25:56.340 --> 00:26:02.540
salvation date. My salvation date was July 11th, 2019, because that is when I

339
00:26:02.540 --> 00:26:08.380
found my God. So I listened to the gospel from a man that I'll be

340
00:26:08.380 --> 00:26:14.220
teaching a lot of my stuff from, Chris Blackaby. A lot of you know him. And I'd

341
00:26:14.220 --> 00:26:18.540
heard his message on YouTube. Didn't know a thing about him, just clicked on it.

342
00:26:18.540 --> 00:26:22.780
And he started talking about the gospel. And I told the Lord, I

343
00:26:23.300 --> 00:26:26.940
remember pausing it at one point, and I told God, I could just, I don't know, it's

344
00:26:26.940 --> 00:26:30.900
like my spirit could just sense him here. And so I talked to him and said, God, I'm about to

345
00:26:30.900 --> 00:26:35.100
go into that. And I don't know if it's right or wrong. I don't know if you

346
00:26:35.100 --> 00:26:39.060
created a relationship with you to look like that or not. All I know is that

347
00:26:39.060 --> 00:26:44.500
nothing else that I've done so far has worked. And that sounds wonderful. It

348
00:26:44.500 --> 00:26:47.580
sounds wonderful and absolutely perfect if a relationship with you could look

349
00:26:47.580 --> 00:26:52.980
like that. So I am choosing Lord, you know, before I wouldn't move forward or

350
00:26:52.980 --> 00:26:56.460
backward unless the Lord said, I didn't do that this time. I told the Lord, I'm

351
00:26:56.460 --> 00:27:00.980
gonna go into it. After I go into it, if I'm wrong, you can correct me. But I told,

352
00:27:00.980 --> 00:27:05.060
and I'm not recommending that you talk to God like that. But you know, we all have

353
00:27:05.060 --> 00:27:08.340
said things to the Lord in very desperate moments, and he's a big

354
00:27:08.340 --> 00:27:12.620
God. He can handle it. But I told him, I said, I'm going, I wasn't disrespectful, but I

355
00:27:12.620 --> 00:27:15.900
was very serious. I'm gonna go into that, and then if I'm wrong, Lord, you can

356
00:27:15.900 --> 00:27:20.780
correct me when I'm in it. So I jumped in with both feet. That's another thing

357
00:27:20.780 --> 00:27:23.900
that we're gonna be talking a lot about this weekend. It has to be all

358
00:27:23.900 --> 00:27:27.860
chipped in. That reckless abandon. None of this, oh, I'm gonna test this out. It

359
00:27:27.860 --> 00:27:33.140
won't work. I promise you it will not work. But I jumped a hundred percent in,

360
00:27:33.140 --> 00:27:39.860
and I was like, oh my word, this is God. I, this is the God that other people talk

361
00:27:39.860 --> 00:27:45.380
about. This is the God that people die in Colosseums and facing a lion for. I

362
00:27:45.380 --> 00:27:51.140
did not understand that until that time. So we'll be talking, so before we

363
00:27:51.140 --> 00:27:56.660
even talk about rest, we'll be talking about the gospel. But it's in a very

364
00:27:56.660 --> 00:27:59.420
different way than some of you have ever heard. Some of you have heard

365
00:27:59.420 --> 00:28:03.140
Chris Backeby, and then others who teach like him, who have understood that

366
00:28:03.140 --> 00:28:08.180
message from our Father. But for some of you, it might be very, very new, and it

367
00:28:08.180 --> 00:28:15.740
is completely, completely transforming. So then the Lord just has just walked me

368
00:28:15.740 --> 00:28:18.980
through a time where he was just teaching me what it is that, who it is

369
00:28:18.980 --> 00:28:23.060
that I was, how to operate in from this new place, with this new understanding of

370
00:28:23.060 --> 00:28:28.300
my identity in Christ, as to, based on this new gospel that I now had. And then

371
00:28:28.300 --> 00:28:31.620
I then, I then had to take it into other areas of my life, including my business.

372
00:28:31.620 --> 00:28:34.980
Okay, now I was a turnaround business consultant, but I was feeling that the

373
00:28:34.980 --> 00:28:38.100
Lord wanted me to do something different. What is this thing in me that

374
00:28:38.100 --> 00:28:42.660
needs to come out? So over about a year, year and a half, and the reason I'm going

375
00:28:42.660 --> 00:28:46.900
into this detail is for those of you who are holding on to a frustrated dream of

376
00:28:46.900 --> 00:28:50.420
like business or something else, that you feel something's inside of you, and it's

377
00:28:50.420 --> 00:28:53.620
frustrating that it's taking so long. Sometimes it just takes a long time. And

378
00:28:53.620 --> 00:28:58.540
my year and a half was, oh my word, that was so pressurized. It was very, very, very

379
00:28:58.540 --> 00:29:04.820
fast. And anyway, so about a year, year and a half, it took me for the Lord to

380
00:29:04.820 --> 00:29:08.780
finally begin to articulate, Ashley, what I have been teaching you about for years

381
00:29:08.780 --> 00:29:14.980
is rest. So remember what I said, that when you go back to your foundation, how

382
00:29:14.980 --> 00:29:19.220
you now see all of your life through a different paradigm. God didn't, God didn't

383
00:29:19.220 --> 00:29:21.740
obliterate everything it is that I had learned, everything it is that I

384
00:29:21.740 --> 00:29:25.740
experienced and accomplished, as if, oh well, that doesn't mean anything. You know,

385
00:29:25.740 --> 00:29:29.900
let's start all over, because that was just trash. God's like, no, no, no. Now let's

386
00:29:29.900 --> 00:29:35.460
just see it through a totally different way. And, and so he then began to show me,

387
00:29:35.460 --> 00:29:39.380
Ashley, I've been teaching you about rest, but you were doing it out of strife. You

388
00:29:39.380 --> 00:29:44.420
were trying to get the results that you were, that you were getting in life. You

389
00:29:44.420 --> 00:29:49.620
need to stop trying, because it's who you are, and it needs, and you need to let, you

390
00:29:49.620 --> 00:29:57.900
need to stop and finally let it out. So that is very, very brief testimony of my

391
00:29:57.900 --> 00:30:01.820
36 years with the Lord.

392
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:08.000
But I'm very grateful to finally be in this place and to have received from the Lord the message of rest

393
00:30:08.000 --> 00:30:15.000
because it's transformed my life. It is, like I said, it's the basis from which we do everything else.

394
00:30:15.000 --> 00:30:19.000
So after this, you know, you can go to all these other conferences and learn all of these different things

395
00:30:19.000 --> 00:30:22.000
about how to experience God this way or how to learn more about God in this way

396
00:30:22.000 --> 00:30:25.000
or how to, you know, be intimate with the Lord in this way.

397
00:30:25.000 --> 00:30:30.000
But you have to do it all from a place of rest or none of it will work.

398
00:30:30.000 --> 00:30:38.000
Or it can't be sustained. You might get glimpses of it, but it can't be sustained unless it's in rest.

399
00:30:38.000 --> 00:30:46.000
So what actually is rest?

400
00:30:46.000 --> 00:30:55.000
So rest is actually not inactivity, and it's not the absence of unpleasant circumstances.

401
00:30:55.000 --> 00:31:02.000
Rest is actually abiding in God. It's actually a place. That place is God himself.

402
00:31:02.000 --> 00:31:06.000
We are in him. We abide in him. So when we're in that place, we're in rest.

403
00:31:06.000 --> 00:31:14.000
And so rest is actually a place in God in which we are allowing him to be

404
00:31:14.000 --> 00:31:19.000
or understanding and acknowledging the fact that he is the source of everything in our life.

405
00:31:19.000 --> 00:31:23.000
He is the source of how we get our protection, our provision, our identity,

406
00:31:23.000 --> 00:31:27.000
the fact that we feel loved, liked, and comforted.

407
00:31:27.000 --> 00:31:31.000
The reason I point all those out are, and we'll be talking about that in a second,

408
00:31:31.000 --> 00:31:35.000
is actually that is where mother and father wounds stem from.

409
00:31:35.000 --> 00:31:43.000
Father wounds stem from issues that we've had with the masculine in our lives

410
00:31:43.000 --> 00:31:45.000
that can come from either a man or a woman.

411
00:31:45.000 --> 00:31:47.000
Typically, though, obviously it'll come from a man.

412
00:31:47.000 --> 00:31:50.000
Usually it'll come from a father, which is why it's called a father wound.

413
00:31:50.000 --> 00:31:55.000
But it's from the masculine, and the masculine is meant to help someone else understand

414
00:31:55.000 --> 00:31:59.000
that they're protected, provided for, and identified.

415
00:31:59.000 --> 00:32:03.000
And if they don't have that, and then they now suffer traumas and are coping

416
00:32:03.000 --> 00:32:07.000
and come up with all kinds of coping mechanisms as a result of it, it's called a father wound.

417
00:32:07.000 --> 00:32:12.000
Mother wound is the other aspect of the father, other aspects that he provides.

418
00:32:12.000 --> 00:32:21.000
And it is where, a mother wound is where we have a lack in our lives of understanding

419
00:32:21.000 --> 00:32:25.000
that we are loved, liked, and can expect to be comforted.

420
00:32:25.000 --> 00:32:30.000
So if we have that, well then we can develop what's called a mother wound.

421
00:32:30.000 --> 00:32:33.000
We have all these traumas, and then that will manifest itself in particular ways,

422
00:32:33.000 --> 00:32:37.000
and we end up coping and using all kinds of things.

423
00:32:37.000 --> 00:32:44.000
I'll mention some very specific things in just a second that are indicative of mother wounds

424
00:32:44.000 --> 00:32:47.000
and other things that are indicative of a father wound.

425
00:32:47.000 --> 00:32:50.000
But the whole point of all of this is to help us understand,

426
00:32:50.000 --> 00:32:54.000
to get some kind of a physical foothold of things in our lives that are going on

427
00:32:54.000 --> 00:32:57.000
and understanding it's not our father and our mother.

428
00:32:57.000 --> 00:33:01.000
The issue is we projected those things onto God, and that's how we interact with Him.

429
00:33:01.000 --> 00:33:05.000
So we have this father wound with God, or this mother wound with God,

430
00:33:05.000 --> 00:33:08.000
and that is what we need to overcome.

431
00:33:08.000 --> 00:33:15.000
We need to understand that we have not been given a very, have received a very clear picture

432
00:33:15.000 --> 00:33:19.000
in reality of who it is that God actually is.

433
00:33:19.000 --> 00:33:27.000
So rest is understanding that He is actually allowing him, not understanding.

434
00:33:27.000 --> 00:33:32.000
It's allowing him to be the source from which we receive all of those things

435
00:33:32.000 --> 00:33:35.000
and being the source of everything that happens in your life.

436
00:33:35.000 --> 00:33:42.000
Your clients, who you get, your business, your dreams, your heart's desires,

437
00:33:42.000 --> 00:33:50.000
your relationships with other people, your finances, everything needs to come from God,

438
00:33:50.000 --> 00:33:55.000
not by us working for it, thinking God has left us abandoned and alone,

439
00:33:55.000 --> 00:34:00.000
and that He's going to come back one day making sure that we got it right,

440
00:34:00.000 --> 00:34:06.000
that it's all on us, and that we have to carry that burden and that weight of that responsibility,

441
00:34:06.000 --> 00:34:13.000
because it's not. The Lord is the one that we need to rely on to provide for all those things.

442
00:34:13.000 --> 00:34:16.000
We'll be walking into that about how to literally, practically do that,

443
00:34:16.000 --> 00:34:21.000
because I have to live it, so I want to explain it to y'all about how you can live it that way too.

444
00:34:21.000 --> 00:34:28.000
So rest, why are we not in rest? Rest is actually our natural state.

445
00:34:29.000 --> 00:34:33.000
So to not be in rest is not natural for a son of God.

446
00:34:33.000 --> 00:34:39.000
So what is it that we're doing? We're actually in a constant state of resistance.

447
00:34:39.000 --> 00:34:45.000
I'll be drawing some visuals later to help us understand, but we're in a constant state of resistance.

448
00:34:45.000 --> 00:34:47.000
If you're not in rest, you're in resistance.

449
00:34:47.000 --> 00:34:53.000
You're actively doing something, you're not passively doing something, you are actively doing something.

450
00:34:53.000 --> 00:34:58.000
Now you may not be conscious of it, but we are resisting.

451
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:03.600
be going through, you'll come up against hurdles.

452
00:35:03.600 --> 00:35:05.600
And I want to walk you all through those.

453
00:35:05.600 --> 00:35:07.440
So feel free to let me know when you run up

454
00:35:07.440 --> 00:35:09.520
against one of those and can't seem to go through.

455
00:35:09.520 --> 00:35:13.440
Because I can work with you to help identify that that is

456
00:35:13.440 --> 00:35:15.400
actually resistance.

457
00:35:15.400 --> 00:35:17.160
Because it feels like I'm doing everything

458
00:35:17.160 --> 00:35:18.440
and I can't go any further.

459
00:35:18.440 --> 00:35:19.740
You know, I'm not doing this, Ashley.

460
00:35:19.740 --> 00:35:20.240
I'm trying.

461
00:35:20.240 --> 00:35:21.400
I want this.

462
00:35:21.400 --> 00:35:22.920
No, we're resisting.

463
00:35:22.920 --> 00:35:25.760
And to help us identify deep down where that resistance is

464
00:35:25.760 --> 00:35:27.240
coming from.

465
00:35:27.240 --> 00:35:29.960
So if we're not in rest, we're actually in resistance.

466
00:35:29.960 --> 00:35:32.320
And we're resisting God.

467
00:35:32.320 --> 00:35:37.400
If rest is in God, and we're not feeling at rest,

468
00:35:37.400 --> 00:35:39.120
it means we're in resistance against him.

469
00:35:39.120 --> 00:35:42.560
Why would we be in resistance against God?

470
00:35:42.560 --> 00:35:45.480
Because we don't feel safe with him.

471
00:35:45.480 --> 00:35:47.040
And why don't we feel safe with him?

472
00:35:47.040 --> 00:35:48.800
We don't feel loved.

473
00:35:48.800 --> 00:35:52.920
We don't feel provided for, protected, identified, loved,

474
00:35:52.920 --> 00:35:55.400
liked, or able to be comforted.

475
00:35:55.400 --> 00:35:57.760
And so we're in a constant state of resistance.

476
00:35:57.760 --> 00:35:58.920
We want to keep him at bay.

477
00:35:58.920 --> 00:36:00.080
We want to learn about him.

478
00:36:00.080 --> 00:36:01.440
And we want to get close to him.

479
00:36:01.440 --> 00:36:02.880
We want to feel him.

480
00:36:02.880 --> 00:36:04.800
But we don't want to move into him.

481
00:36:04.800 --> 00:36:06.920
And we don't want him to move into us.

482
00:36:06.920 --> 00:36:09.200
Because it's very, very vulnerable.

483
00:36:09.200 --> 00:36:11.960
And we have to overcome that.

484
00:36:11.960 --> 00:36:16.680
So that is the state that we're actually in.

485
00:36:16.680 --> 00:36:19.920
But I want to make sure to constantly layer

486
00:36:19.920 --> 00:36:23.200
in lots of encouragement in here.

487
00:36:23.200 --> 00:36:24.840
Excuse me.

488
00:36:24.840 --> 00:36:28.000
You are actually in a state of rest.

489
00:36:28.000 --> 00:36:30.480
You're just not aware of it.

490
00:36:30.480 --> 00:36:33.920
So we are trying to move our soul to the point

491
00:36:33.920 --> 00:36:37.680
where it stops resisting because our spirit's already in rest.

492
00:36:37.680 --> 00:36:38.960
It is already who you are.

493
00:36:38.960 --> 00:36:41.560
That's why you have permission to move into it.

494
00:36:41.560 --> 00:36:46.400
You're not going to be doing something or becoming

495
00:36:46.400 --> 00:36:49.840
something this weekend or from this message of rest

496
00:36:49.840 --> 00:36:51.360
that you're not already.

497
00:36:51.360 --> 00:36:56.200
You're going to realize that you are and choose to stand in it.

498
00:36:56.200 --> 00:36:57.360
That's all we're doing.

499
00:36:57.360 --> 00:36:58.840
You already have it.

500
00:36:58.840 --> 00:37:00.720
You're not gaining anything.

501
00:37:00.720 --> 00:37:03.320
Because God's already given you everything.

502
00:37:03.320 --> 00:37:05.400
You're not becoming something different.

503
00:37:05.400 --> 00:37:07.160
You don't have to change.

504
00:37:07.160 --> 00:37:09.360
You're everything you've ever wanted to be.

505
00:37:09.360 --> 00:37:10.920
You were all of those commandments

506
00:37:10.920 --> 00:37:12.280
that Jesus told us to be.

507
00:37:12.280 --> 00:37:14.000
You're everything in the Ten Commandments,

508
00:37:14.000 --> 00:37:16.560
everything on the Sermon on the Mount,

509
00:37:16.560 --> 00:37:18.480
all of the edifications, all the encouragements,

510
00:37:18.480 --> 00:37:19.320
all the whatever.

511
00:37:19.320 --> 00:37:23.760
Those are actually descriptions of your character.

512
00:37:23.760 --> 00:37:25.880
But we don't believe that that is.

513
00:37:25.880 --> 00:37:27.360
And whatever it is that we believe

514
00:37:27.360 --> 00:37:28.840
is what has power in our lives.

515
00:37:28.840 --> 00:37:31.280
So we've got to shift our belief to actually believing

516
00:37:31.280 --> 00:37:34.680
that whatever God says about us is true.

517
00:37:34.680 --> 00:37:39.880
So when I was first learning, well,

518
00:37:39.880 --> 00:37:41.720
let me go back really quick.

519
00:37:41.720 --> 00:37:43.880
So the reason why we don't feel safe with God

520
00:37:43.880 --> 00:37:47.160
is we don't want to receive his love.

521
00:37:47.160 --> 00:37:50.360
It feels very, very dangerous, especially those of you

522
00:37:50.360 --> 00:37:53.200
who are married or those of you who have been married.

523
00:37:53.200 --> 00:37:57.280
You understand that love is a very, very vulnerable thing.

524
00:37:57.280 --> 00:37:59.200
You have to be vulnerable in order

525
00:37:59.200 --> 00:38:01.440
to give and to receive love.

526
00:38:01.440 --> 00:38:03.960
So if you don't feel safe, you're

527
00:38:03.960 --> 00:38:05.280
going to keep it at a distance.

528
00:38:05.280 --> 00:38:07.840
And you can't.

529
00:38:07.840 --> 00:38:10.040
And you're not allowing the other one

530
00:38:10.040 --> 00:38:12.120
to love you if you're keeping them at a distance.

531
00:38:12.120 --> 00:38:13.120
So we're in resistance.

532
00:38:13.120 --> 00:38:17.400
And we're not able to receive or accept and move into God's love.

533
00:38:17.400 --> 00:38:19.480
But actually, what it is that we've chosen

534
00:38:19.480 --> 00:38:22.640
is, just like Brennan Manning says,

535
00:38:22.640 --> 00:38:25.000
so Brennan Manning was a man that God first

536
00:38:25.000 --> 00:38:29.440
introduced the extremity of his love to me through.

537
00:38:29.440 --> 00:38:33.320
And he talks about the fact that Christianity

538
00:38:33.320 --> 00:38:35.520
is not an ethical code.

539
00:38:35.520 --> 00:38:37.360
It's not a moral ethical code.

540
00:38:37.360 --> 00:38:40.160
It's actually a love affair.

541
00:38:40.160 --> 00:38:43.120
What it is that we've chosen, when we chose God,

542
00:38:43.120 --> 00:38:45.120
we didn't choose a religion.

543
00:38:45.120 --> 00:38:46.280
We didn't choose a faith.

544
00:38:46.280 --> 00:38:49.720
We did not choose something to believe in.

545
00:38:49.720 --> 00:38:54.400
We didn't choose a group or an organization

546
00:38:54.400 --> 00:39:00.960
to be a part of, to make us even get a sense of our world.

547
00:39:00.960 --> 00:39:03.760
We actually chose a husband.

548
00:39:03.760 --> 00:39:05.720
We chose a being to be united with

549
00:39:05.720 --> 00:39:08.760
in the whole rest of our lives, everybody,

550
00:39:08.760 --> 00:39:13.120
the people that you've married, the businesses that you have,

551
00:39:13.120 --> 00:39:15.840
the decisions that you've made in life, where it is that you

552
00:39:15.840 --> 00:39:17.140
go, how it is that you journey.

553
00:39:17.140 --> 00:39:21.860
All of that is for the purpose of directing and guiding

554
00:39:21.860 --> 00:39:24.220
the development of our relationship with God.

555
00:39:24.220 --> 00:39:26.060
That is the whole point of everything,

556
00:39:26.060 --> 00:39:28.540
is the development of relationship.

557
00:39:28.540 --> 00:39:31.740
And so Christianity is actually a love affair.

558
00:39:31.740 --> 00:39:35.020
It is our love affair with a being.

559
00:39:35.020 --> 00:39:37.420
And so we have to allow that being.

560
00:39:37.420 --> 00:39:39.460
He's not there giving us lists, not there

561
00:39:39.460 --> 00:39:41.220
giving us 10 commandments.

562
00:39:41.220 --> 00:39:44.620
He's there trying to say, I want to show you who I am.

563
00:39:44.620 --> 00:39:47.300
I want you to know my favorite color.

564
00:39:47.300 --> 00:39:52.140
I want you to know how to, I want you to feel me.

565
00:39:52.140 --> 00:39:55.260
I want to feel you.

566
00:39:55.260 --> 00:39:58.140
I want to be affected by you.

567
00:39:58.140 --> 00:40:01.340
I don't just want you to be affected.

568
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:04.860
by me. I went to be affected by you. I created you so I could be affected by

569
00:40:04.860 --> 00:40:15.220
you. It's very, very, very powerful. So we have a little, so, so very backwards, I

570
00:40:15.220 --> 00:40:19.140
did, so very, very backwards, and it made life so hard because it's actually not

571
00:40:19.140 --> 00:40:23.740
the way that it, that it is. Everything is, everything that the Lord is, is

572
00:40:23.740 --> 00:40:29.500
beautiful, is good, is love, and it's freedom. All of your trials and all of

573
00:40:29.500 --> 00:40:34.660
your struggles are actually thresholds that God is using as an invitation. Okay,

574
00:40:34.660 --> 00:40:39.420
you know, I can, I would love and accept you unconditionally right here, but

575
00:40:39.420 --> 00:40:44.580
wouldn't you like more love and freedom? That's what your trial is. The trial is

576
00:40:44.580 --> 00:40:49.180
an invitation. It's not a test of, okay, you know, I've been teaching you all

577
00:40:49.180 --> 00:40:53.020
these years. Let's see what you know. Let's see if you pass this test. That's

578
00:40:53.020 --> 00:40:57.020
not what God's asking. God is saying, you know, I know you're going through a hard

579
00:40:57.020 --> 00:41:04.460
time. I want, I want you to know you have this choice. Do you want to move into

580
00:41:04.460 --> 00:41:08.860
more love and freedom? Because this will enable you to cross that threshold. Do

581
00:41:08.860 --> 00:41:13.700
you want to choose that or not? If you don't choose that, that's fine, but this

582
00:41:13.700 --> 00:41:19.020
is an invitation. What are you going to do? It's not a sinner in the hand of an angry

583
00:41:19.020 --> 00:41:24.620
God. He's not looking at us, you know, just like, you know, like the school

584
00:41:24.620 --> 00:41:29.540
master or this, you know, this, this business master. Okay, you know, here's

585
00:41:29.540 --> 00:41:33.780
your test. What are you going to do about it? And holding us accountable to it, He's

586
00:41:33.780 --> 00:41:37.420
saying, no, no, no, I'm inviting you. Wouldn't you like to move into more love

587
00:41:37.420 --> 00:41:41.980
and freedom? Wouldn't you like to experience more of this? Okay, so let's

588
00:41:41.980 --> 00:41:47.380
look at some scripture references really quick. We're not going to be looking at

589
00:41:47.380 --> 00:41:50.860
it up on the screen for just a second. I'm just going to say them really fast.

590
00:41:50.860 --> 00:41:56.380
So when God loves us in a variety of ways, He loves us very tenderly, which is

591
00:41:56.380 --> 00:42:02.460
what we're very used to. We're used to that, the very, the lamb and the shepherd

592
00:42:02.460 --> 00:42:10.580
and the child, the parents, and it's all very nice because it's safe. But what

593
00:42:10.580 --> 00:42:14.260
about the other aspects of God's love that He talks about in scripture? So in

594
00:42:14.260 --> 00:42:19.220
Hosea 2.6, I want to talk about the intimacy that He talks about really quick.

595
00:42:19.660 --> 00:42:23.540
In that day, declares the Lord, you will call me my husband. That doesn't sound

596
00:42:23.540 --> 00:42:27.900
like a parent to me. It doesn't sound like a shepherd. In that day, you will call me

597
00:42:27.900 --> 00:42:34.100
my husband. You will no longer call me my master. In Song of Solomon 4.9, it says,

598
00:42:34.100 --> 00:42:39.060
you have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride. You have stolen my heart with one

599
00:42:39.060 --> 00:42:44.980
glance of your eyes. God said that. We didn't ask Him to say that. That was Him

600
00:42:44.980 --> 00:42:49.340
voluntarily giving something of Himself to us. Then in Song of Solomon 6.5, it

601
00:42:49.340 --> 00:42:55.740
says, turn your eyes from me. They overwhelm me. That is how we affect God.

602
00:42:55.740 --> 00:42:59.540
So He had just said, you've stolen my heart, my sister, my bride. You've stolen

603
00:42:59.540 --> 00:43:04.740
my heart with one glance of your eyes. Then He says, turn your eyes from me.

604
00:43:04.740 --> 00:43:11.020
They overwhelm me. You affect the Lord like that. You have permission to step

605
00:43:11.060 --> 00:43:18.220
into that love because He's affected by you and He desires you. He created what

606
00:43:18.220 --> 00:43:25.500
He would desire. We have power over God's heart because He gave it. What that means

607
00:43:25.500 --> 00:43:31.460
is He had to put Himself in a vulnerable position to do so. The God of the universe

608
00:43:31.460 --> 00:43:40.100
made Himself vulnerable to you as an individual. He does have that tender love.

609
00:43:40.100 --> 00:43:45.420
He does have love like friends. He has the love like parent to a child. But He also

610
00:43:45.420 --> 00:43:49.740
has a very wild and passionate love. The reason I want to bring that up is it's

611
00:43:49.740 --> 00:43:53.980
very forceful, it's very strong, and that's what we're afraid of. But that is the

612
00:43:53.980 --> 00:43:58.660
highest form of intimacy with God. So if all we want to be settled with is the

613
00:43:58.660 --> 00:44:03.260
five-year-old Sunday school version of a shepherd and a lamb, that's all we're going

614
00:44:03.260 --> 00:44:09.260
to get of God. There's a lot of distance there. Yes, we all had to start there.

615
00:44:09.260 --> 00:44:13.340
So that's fine. There's nothing wrong with that. And there's still aspects, no

616
00:44:13.340 --> 00:44:16.900
matter how mature that we get, where God still interacts with us as a shepherd and

617
00:44:16.900 --> 00:44:21.860
a lamb. But there are other aspects that we're wanting to move into intimacy with

618
00:44:21.860 --> 00:44:28.220
the Lord that can only be had between a husband and a bride. And they can only be

619
00:44:28.220 --> 00:44:37.540
had with that intimacy. So if we look in Song of Solomon, it talks about the fact

620
00:44:37.540 --> 00:44:43.220
that...so this is a very interesting subject for me to have to talk about,

621
00:44:43.220 --> 00:44:48.260
excuse me, because most people are just like, oh, okay, okay, I got it. And then

622
00:44:48.260 --> 00:44:52.100
other people, it's really bothered. So I try to be very careful with it. But hey,

623
00:44:52.100 --> 00:44:57.940
it's in the Bible. And that's the fact that in Song of Solomon, we can see that

624
00:44:57.940 --> 00:44:59.700
actually our...

625
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:08.000
The picture that God has put on earth of our interaction with him is as lovers.

626
00:45:08.000 --> 00:45:13.000
The most intimate way that we can be connected with God is as lovers.

627
00:45:13.000 --> 00:45:15.000
So, as a husband and a wife.

628
00:45:15.000 --> 00:45:21.000
And that means that, as you can read in the Beloved and the Lover talking to each other

629
00:45:22.000 --> 00:45:25.000
Talking to each other in the Song of Solomon.

630
00:45:40.000 --> 00:45:45.000
So, the fact that with a husband and wife, if we're looking at the Beloved and the Lover and how they talk to each other,

631
00:45:45.000 --> 00:45:53.000
you can tell that, by their language, God created us to be sexually aroused by us.

632
00:45:53.000 --> 00:45:55.000
Now, bear with me for just a second.

633
00:45:55.000 --> 00:45:59.000
We're not talking about earthly sexual arousal.

634
00:45:59.000 --> 00:46:07.000
Sexual arousal is the type and shadow on this earth of something that we don't even have a grid for in the Spirit.

635
00:46:07.000 --> 00:46:09.000
So, let's not all get caught up with,

636
00:46:09.000 --> 00:46:13.000
wait a minute, so what are you saying, that God wants to, no, no.

637
00:46:13.000 --> 00:46:19.000
That's an early picture that kind of gives us some ideas, because of how physical anatomy works and whatever.

638
00:46:19.000 --> 00:46:23.000
What our interaction with the Lord looks like in the Spirit.

639
00:46:23.000 --> 00:46:24.000
So, think of it kind of like this.

640
00:46:24.000 --> 00:46:32.000
Think of the grid that a baby would have for being able to understand the consummation in a marriage between a man and a woman.

641
00:46:32.000 --> 00:46:33.000
No grid.

642
00:46:34.000 --> 00:46:44.000
I mean, how much logic has to develop spiritually, mentally, emotionally, logically, whatever, to be able to get to that point.

643
00:46:44.000 --> 00:46:47.000
There's decades in order to get to that point.

644
00:46:47.000 --> 00:46:56.000
That is how it is with us trying to compare the consummation of marriage between a man and a woman and what God actually means.

645
00:46:57.000 --> 00:47:03.000
So, break the shock value off of yourself for just a second.

646
00:47:03.000 --> 00:47:12.000
It's not what, God doesn't mean it literally, but he's using that as a type and a shadow so that we can look at these pictures,

647
00:47:12.000 --> 00:47:19.000
look at the interaction and be able to understand what we can expect and what we should desire out of a type of intimacy with him.

648
00:47:19.000 --> 00:47:25.000
Now, it requires a vulnerability on both sides.

649
00:47:25.000 --> 00:47:29.000
Intimacy between a man and a woman requires a vulnerability on both sides.

650
00:47:29.000 --> 00:47:32.000
It's very extreme.

651
00:47:32.000 --> 00:47:34.000
It's not just physical vulnerability.

652
00:47:34.000 --> 00:47:36.000
We're all very aware of that.

653
00:47:36.000 --> 00:47:37.000
It's not just physical vulnerability.

654
00:47:37.000 --> 00:47:43.000
There's obviously the taking off of garments, etc., but it's more than that.

655
00:47:43.000 --> 00:47:46.000
You have to be emotionally vulnerable.

656
00:47:46.000 --> 00:47:50.000
So, this goes back to the mother wound and the father wound.

657
00:47:50.000 --> 00:47:56.000
This is the part in this teaching that I like to bring this up because it really helps to drive some things home.

658
00:48:06.000 --> 00:48:11.000
It's easy to understand why somebody who's not married might struggle with certain addictions.

659
00:48:11.000 --> 00:48:18.000
Because we would think in the physical, well, there's no place for them to be able to express themselves in their need or whatever.

660
00:48:18.000 --> 00:48:23.000
But then when they get married, why do people still struggle with those types of addictions, still sexual addictions?

661
00:48:23.000 --> 00:48:26.000
Because it's not just the physical intimacy.

662
00:48:26.000 --> 00:48:29.000
It's the emotional vulnerability that's required.

663
00:48:29.000 --> 00:48:36.000
So, if there's still a struggle, it means that there's a lack of emotional vulnerability to some degree.

664
00:48:36.000 --> 00:48:40.000
So, the two examples that I want to give.

665
00:48:40.000 --> 00:48:45.000
Usually, an addiction like pornography will come out of a mother wound.

666
00:48:46.000 --> 00:48:49.000
This belief that we're not loved, liked, or can expect to be comforted.

667
00:48:49.000 --> 00:48:51.000
And it's a form of self-comfort.

668
00:48:51.000 --> 00:48:55.000
And the reason for that is there's distance because there's no one else involved.

669
00:48:55.000 --> 00:49:00.000
Because they don't like to be emotionally vulnerable.

670
00:49:00.000 --> 00:49:02.000
They don't feel safe.

671
00:49:02.000 --> 00:49:04.000
And so, they can't do that with their spouse.

672
00:49:04.000 --> 00:49:08.000
So, that's why you can be married and still struggle with some of these addictions.

673
00:49:08.000 --> 00:49:11.000
Because the physical isn't the problem.

674
00:49:12.000 --> 00:49:17.000
Then, on the other side, a father wound is what can actually end up dealing...

675
00:49:17.000 --> 00:49:22.000
People who deal with father wounds can end up in homosexuality.

676
00:49:22.000 --> 00:49:24.000
And that, yes, that is both gay and lesbian.

677
00:49:24.000 --> 00:49:25.000
It's both.

678
00:49:25.000 --> 00:49:28.000
And I've actually heard that from someone who used to be homosexual.

679
00:49:28.000 --> 00:49:31.000
They said that it doesn't matter what gender.

680
00:49:31.000 --> 00:49:33.000
It comes from a father wound.

681
00:49:33.000 --> 00:49:36.000
Because fathers identify us.

682
00:49:37.000 --> 00:49:41.000
It is by the masculine that we come to know who it is that we are.

683
00:49:41.000 --> 00:49:45.000
Protection, provision, and identity comes from the masculine.

684
00:49:45.000 --> 00:49:48.000
Love, like, and the expectation to be able to be comforted.

685
00:49:48.000 --> 00:49:51.000
The nurturing aspect comes from a mother.

686
00:49:51.000 --> 00:49:53.000
So, I wanted to point out...

687
00:49:53.000 --> 00:49:57.000
The reason I wanted to point out those two perversions is there is a...

688
00:49:57.000 --> 00:50:00.000
We need to see that all of these things are types and shadows.

689
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:02.720
So many times, especially non-believers don't understand,

690
00:50:02.720 --> 00:50:04.360
well, why is all of that wrong?

691
00:50:04.360 --> 00:50:06.680
Because of what it's, it's a type and a shadow

692
00:50:06.680 --> 00:50:08.200
of what is happening in the spirit,

693
00:50:08.200 --> 00:50:10.280
and that's a very serious thing.

694
00:50:10.280 --> 00:50:11.920
So in not having emotion,

695
00:50:11.920 --> 00:50:14.480
and not allowing ourselves to be emotionally vulnerable

696
00:50:14.480 --> 00:50:16.340
with the Lord, we'll come to the Lord and say,

697
00:50:16.340 --> 00:50:19.680
okay, God, I'm here, you know, I'm here in my quiet time,

698
00:50:19.680 --> 00:50:21.400
and why aren't you meeting me?

699
00:50:21.400 --> 00:50:22.840
Well, if we're not allowing ourselves

700
00:50:22.840 --> 00:50:25.120
to be emotionally vulnerable past a point,

701
00:50:25.120 --> 00:50:29.920
he's not going to violate our free will and pass that.

702
00:50:29.920 --> 00:50:32.560
So we have to learn in some of these practice,

703
00:50:32.560 --> 00:50:36.760
practice, practice, practice exercises,

704
00:50:36.760 --> 00:50:41.360
that how to actually push past that,

705
00:50:41.360 --> 00:50:44.000
how to allow ourselves, how to expose ourselves

706
00:50:44.000 --> 00:50:47.600
to finally be emotionally vulnerable with the Lord.

707
00:50:47.600 --> 00:50:48.880
There's also that aspect of, you know,

708
00:50:48.880 --> 00:50:50.320
where I talked about, you know, father wounds,

709
00:50:50.320 --> 00:50:53.320
you know, and how in the, in the physical,

710
00:50:53.320 --> 00:50:55.360
it manifests a lot of times as struggles with,

711
00:50:55.360 --> 00:50:58.160
like, your identity as in, like, homosexuality

712
00:50:58.160 --> 00:51:00.840
or some other transgender, you know, issue.

713
00:51:01.880 --> 00:51:05.120
And in, of course, in the spirit,

714
00:51:05.120 --> 00:51:07.080
if we're not allowing ourselves to be close to the Lord,

715
00:51:07.080 --> 00:51:10.720
because we don't, we are not getting our identity from him,

716
00:51:10.720 --> 00:51:13.360
we're getting our identity by something it is that we do,

717
00:51:13.360 --> 00:51:16.780
or how it is that we behave, our career,

718
00:51:18.280 --> 00:51:19.680
I don't know, just all kinds of ways

719
00:51:19.680 --> 00:51:21.960
that we use to identify ourselves,

720
00:51:21.960 --> 00:51:23.880
then it's a perversion,

721
00:51:23.880 --> 00:51:26.520
and it's also not letting us be close to the Lord

722
00:51:26.520 --> 00:51:29.240
and have the intimacy in the only way that we can have it.

723
00:51:29.240 --> 00:51:31.040
So these, so I mentioned those things

724
00:51:31.040 --> 00:51:34.040
because those, it kind of gets us,

725
00:51:34.040 --> 00:51:36.200
something that we understand, okay,

726
00:51:36.200 --> 00:51:38.120
we got a grip of these types of,

727
00:51:38.120 --> 00:51:42.600
these types of addictions or of issues or whatever,

728
00:51:42.600 --> 00:51:44.920
this is how it translates into the spiritual

729
00:51:44.920 --> 00:51:47.600
so that we can understand that,

730
00:51:47.600 --> 00:51:50.880
that we are all doing that,

731
00:51:50.880 --> 00:51:53.160
that version in the spirit,

732
00:51:53.160 --> 00:51:55.360
and that's why we're not at rest,

733
00:51:55.360 --> 00:51:56.840
and this is a big issue.

734
00:51:56.840 --> 00:51:59.320
It's the lack of emotional vulnerability,

735
00:51:59.320 --> 00:52:02.480
and the lack of, and then us choosing to be identified

736
00:52:02.480 --> 00:52:05.040
by something outside of God.

737
00:52:05.040 --> 00:52:09.120
So there, we can see the seriousness of it in the physical,

738
00:52:09.120 --> 00:52:11.200
but it's, there were just pictures

739
00:52:11.200 --> 00:52:14.960
of the seriousness of it in the spiritual as well.

740
00:52:16.320 --> 00:52:20.120
Now, and so intimacy can only come

741
00:52:20.120 --> 00:52:21.860
through complete vulnerability,

742
00:52:21.860 --> 00:52:25.080
not halfway, not one toe in, not trying,

743
00:52:25.760 --> 00:52:27.400
complete, and yeah, it's hard.

744
00:52:27.400 --> 00:52:30.320
It is really, really, really hard.

745
00:52:30.320 --> 00:52:32.640
We're gonna be walking through an exercise in a second

746
00:52:32.640 --> 00:52:37.640
that I don't like to do because I have to go to Jesus,

747
00:52:37.800 --> 00:52:39.640
and I love Jesus now.

748
00:52:39.640 --> 00:52:42.240
I love Jesus, but so I don't have that same problem

749
00:52:42.240 --> 00:52:43.760
with Jesus that I used to have.

750
00:52:43.760 --> 00:52:45.480
I love Jesus now, I talk to him all the time.

751
00:52:45.480 --> 00:52:47.600
I probably talk to him, I may talk to him more

752
00:52:47.600 --> 00:52:49.240
than I talk to God the Father, I'm not sure,

753
00:52:49.240 --> 00:52:53.960
but, but I have to allow him to love me

754
00:52:53.960 --> 00:52:57.320
and I have to receive it, and I don't,

755
00:52:57.320 --> 00:53:00.960
and it scares me every time, and I know how wonderful it is

756
00:53:00.960 --> 00:53:03.560
because it's changed my life, and it's that scary

757
00:53:03.560 --> 00:53:04.940
that even after all of this time,

758
00:53:04.940 --> 00:53:07.480
I still don't like doing it, but I get to a point,

759
00:53:07.480 --> 00:53:09.800
now I can move further into it than I used to,

760
00:53:09.800 --> 00:53:12.000
I can allow him to love me more than I used to,

761
00:53:12.000 --> 00:53:13.520
but I, even I hit a point, and I'm like,

762
00:53:13.520 --> 00:53:15.880
oh my word, there you go, there's that,

763
00:53:15.880 --> 00:53:18.820
and I don't wanna open myself up that much, Lord.

764
00:53:18.820 --> 00:53:20.320
So we'll be walking through that,

765
00:53:20.320 --> 00:53:22.900
but it is very, very challenging,

766
00:53:22.900 --> 00:53:25.060
but that is where, that is where

767
00:53:25.060 --> 00:53:26.720
everything we've ever wanted is.

768
00:53:27.820 --> 00:53:31.260
We're already in that place, we're just bringing ourselves

769
00:53:31.260 --> 00:53:33.300
to acknowledge that we're already there.

770
00:53:34.660 --> 00:53:39.660
Now, love is his nature, it's his essence, it's his DNA.

771
00:53:39.860 --> 00:53:43.500
It's not something he does, it is in,

772
00:53:43.500 --> 00:53:45.340
it's in the fiber of his being.

773
00:53:45.340 --> 00:53:49.060
It is actually what defines love out here,

774
00:53:49.060 --> 00:53:52.260
it's something in here that comes out.

775
00:53:52.260 --> 00:53:54.700
So it's the very essence and the very DNA

776
00:53:54.700 --> 00:53:55.780
of who it is that he is.

777
00:53:55.780 --> 00:53:59.740
So he subjects all of his character to love, all of it.

778
00:53:59.740 --> 00:54:01.660
Even his might, even his power,

779
00:54:01.660 --> 00:54:03.580
everything is subject to his love.

780
00:54:03.580 --> 00:54:06.580
Everything in the universe is subject to God,

781
00:54:06.580 --> 00:54:08.740
and God subjects all of his character,

782
00:54:08.740 --> 00:54:11.460
all the aspects of his character to his love,

783
00:54:11.460 --> 00:54:13.860
and you are the object of that love.

784
00:54:14.740 --> 00:54:16.920
So now we know why Satan doesn't like us.

785
00:54:18.000 --> 00:54:22.220
Now we understand we are the object of God's focus,

786
00:54:23.060 --> 00:54:24.100
of God's character, of his DNA,

787
00:54:24.100 --> 00:54:26.100
and his essence that is coming out.

788
00:54:26.100 --> 00:54:27.660
It is coming out towards us.

789
00:54:28.540 --> 00:54:31.840
So, it's very, very powerful.

790
00:54:31.840 --> 00:54:35.940
That is, and, okay, so could we look

791
00:54:35.940 --> 00:54:38.640
at Ezekiel 16 really quick, Jonathan?

792
00:54:40.500 --> 00:54:44.460
This is talking about God's love of us

793
00:54:44.460 --> 00:54:46.500
during our lack of it.

794
00:54:47.340 --> 00:54:50.660
And, which I think is really, really fascinating.

795
00:54:52.220 --> 00:54:58.220
Thank you, I think, I think maybe it starts in verse six.

796
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:04.000
We'll be reading, I don't remember, maybe through verse 14?

797
00:55:04.000 --> 00:55:08.000
Perfect, okay.

798
00:55:08.000 --> 00:55:12.000
So, then I passed by and saw you kicking about in your

799
00:55:12.000 --> 00:55:16.000
blood, and as you lay there in your blood, sorry for the gruesome picture,

800
00:55:16.000 --> 00:55:20.000
but as you lay there in your blood, I said to you, live.

801
00:55:20.000 --> 00:55:24.000
I love that that's God's first word to us. Looked at us

802
00:55:24.000 --> 00:55:28.000
and said, live. He speaks life over us. I made you grow like a

803
00:55:28.000 --> 00:55:32.000
plant of the field. You grew and developed and entered puberty. Your breasts had

804
00:55:32.000 --> 00:55:36.000
formed and your hair had grown, yet you were stark naked.

805
00:55:36.000 --> 00:55:40.000
You were vulnerable. Later I passed by and when I

806
00:55:40.000 --> 00:55:44.000
looked at you and saw that you were old enough for love, I spread the corner of my

807
00:55:44.000 --> 00:55:48.000
garment over you. When we come to God in vulnerability, He covers us.

808
00:55:48.000 --> 00:55:52.000
So, vulnerability in God is a safe

809
00:55:52.000 --> 00:55:56.000
place. Vulnerability isn't bad and it's not

810
00:55:56.000 --> 00:56:00.000
unsafe. We don't have to feel unsafe in our vulnerability. The vulnerability was made

811
00:56:00.000 --> 00:56:04.000
to be covered by God. It's the fact that Adam and Eve

812
00:56:04.000 --> 00:56:08.000
moved us out from under it, you know, before Christ died,

813
00:56:08.000 --> 00:56:12.000
we were just out from under it, that we suddenly realized the exposure because it was always

814
00:56:12.000 --> 00:56:16.000
meant to be covered. There's nothing wrong with it. It's not being hidden.

815
00:56:16.000 --> 00:56:20.000
We and our spirits, you know, being covered by God, we're not being hidden.

816
00:56:20.000 --> 00:56:24.000
We're just being covered by the one that we were intended to be covered by.

817
00:56:24.000 --> 00:56:28.000
And then also I thought, I love it, where it says

818
00:56:28.000 --> 00:56:32.000
I saw that you were old enough for love. You were old enough for

819
00:56:32.000 --> 00:56:36.000
you to be affected by God and for God to be affected by you.

820
00:56:36.000 --> 00:56:40.000
I gave you my

821
00:56:40.000 --> 00:56:44.000
psalm oath and entered into a covenant with you, declares the Sovereign Lord, and you became

822
00:56:44.000 --> 00:56:48.000
mine. He always talks throughout the Bible in terms of possession.

823
00:56:48.000 --> 00:56:52.000
I bathed you with water and washed the blood from you and put ointments on you.

824
00:56:52.000 --> 00:56:56.000
I bathed you with water. You remember in Ephesians, we're going to be talking about this

825
00:56:56.000 --> 00:57:00.000
tomorrow, you washed the bride with the washing of water by the word.

826
00:57:00.000 --> 00:57:04.000
I clothed you with an embroidered dress and put

827
00:57:04.000 --> 00:57:08.000
sandals of fine leather on you. So this is very important. I know it's a long passage,

828
00:57:08.000 --> 00:57:12.000
but this part is really important. I dressed you in fine linen and covered

829
00:57:12.000 --> 00:57:16.000
you with costly garments. I adorned you with jewelry. I put bracelets on your arms

830
00:57:16.000 --> 00:57:20.000
and a necklace around your neck. And I put a ring on your nose, earrings on your ears, and a

831
00:57:20.000 --> 00:57:24.000
beautiful crown on your head. So you were adorned with gold and silver. Your clothes were

832
00:57:24.000 --> 00:57:28.000
of fine linen and costly fabric and embroidered cloth. Your

833
00:57:28.000 --> 00:57:32.000
food was honey, olive oil, and the finest flour. You became very

834
00:57:32.000 --> 00:57:36.000
beautiful and rose to be a queen. And your fame spread among the nations on account of

835
00:57:36.000 --> 00:57:40.000
your beauty, because the splendor I had given you made your beauty perfect,

836
00:57:40.000 --> 00:57:44.000
declares the Sovereign Lord. So the reason I wanted to

837
00:57:44.000 --> 00:57:48.000
go through that passage is the reason that God is giving all of those clothes

838
00:57:48.000 --> 00:57:52.000
and all of that jewelry is not to cover us or to make us into something that we're

839
00:57:52.000 --> 00:57:56.000
not. Because you don't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.

840
00:57:56.000 --> 00:58:00.000
Putting a gold ring in a pig's nose isn't going to change

841
00:58:00.000 --> 00:58:04.000
it from being a pig. It can't change us. He's not covering

842
00:58:04.000 --> 00:58:08.000
us up, hiding us, like, oh my goodness, we can't look at that.

843
00:58:08.000 --> 00:58:12.000
That's not pretty, so let's just make it look better. The reason that a king

844
00:58:12.000 --> 00:58:16.000
is giving all of that to his bride is that the value of what he

845
00:58:16.000 --> 00:58:20.000
gives her has to match her value.

846
00:58:20.000 --> 00:58:24.000
Otherwise, there's going to be an imbalance.

847
00:58:24.000 --> 00:58:28.000
It can actually corrupt the things, or you can be

848
00:58:28.000 --> 00:58:32.000
not fully clothed

849
00:58:32.000 --> 00:58:36.000
and appropriately honored if what you're given

850
00:58:36.000 --> 00:58:40.000
is less than what you are. So what this is actually saying

851
00:58:40.000 --> 00:58:44.000
is this is how God sees us. This is the value that He's

852
00:58:44.000 --> 00:58:48.000
giving us an actual picture of the value that we can

853
00:58:48.000 --> 00:58:52.000
understand the value in which He sees that we already are. He's not

854
00:58:52.000 --> 00:58:56.000
giving us value, more value than He says that we have. He's saying that we

855
00:58:56.000 --> 00:59:00.000
are that. So I wanted to just really

856
00:59:00.000 --> 00:59:04.000
point that out. God is just declaring all of these things over us. We don't have

857
00:59:04.000 --> 00:59:08.000
to be afraid when we come to Him and we want to be loved. Or we want

858
00:59:08.000 --> 00:59:12.000
to receive His love. He's given us all of this. All of it.

859
00:59:12.000 --> 00:59:16.000
We didn't even ask for it.

860
00:59:16.000 --> 00:59:20.000
Last few things before we go into the practical exercise.

861
00:59:20.000 --> 00:59:24.000
It's very important when learning to

862
00:59:24.000 --> 00:59:28.000
learn to be loved by the Lord. That all sounds

863
00:59:28.000 --> 00:59:32.000
great. How do I learn to be loved by God? Because I want to be loved

864
00:59:32.000 --> 00:59:36.000
by God. If you're like me, I thought, well God, I love you

865
00:59:36.000 --> 00:59:40.000
and I'm here. You say that you love me, but I don't feel it.

866
00:59:40.000 --> 00:59:44.000
Even though I didn't want to say it out loud, I was thinking, God, this is all in you.

867
00:59:44.000 --> 00:59:48.000
I'm doing everything, but I don't feel loved.

868
00:59:48.000 --> 00:59:52.000
You need to do more things so that I'll feel loved. You need to have this

869
00:59:52.000 --> 00:59:56.000
happen in my business. You need to have this happen in my relationships. You need to

870
00:59:56.000 --> 01:00:00.000
have this happen in my finances. Then I'll know that I'm loved.

871
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:09.000
Goodness, I guess I've been talking for a while and so it's getting drier.

872
01:00:09.000 --> 01:00:16.400
So in order to, I didn't know what else to do, I thought I'm doing everything that God

873
01:00:16.400 --> 01:00:17.400
says to do.

874
01:00:17.400 --> 01:00:20.120
God says if I love him, I'm going to follow his commandments, so I'm following his commandments,

875
01:00:20.120 --> 01:00:21.120
you know.

876
01:00:21.120 --> 01:00:24.720
And he says that he loves me and he's showing me all of the time, but I'm just not feeling

877
01:00:24.720 --> 01:00:28.400
it and I'm just not seeing it, there must be something wrong with me or God's just not

878
01:00:28.400 --> 01:00:30.600
holding up his end of the bargain.

879
01:00:30.600 --> 01:00:32.320
So how did I move past that?

880
01:00:32.320 --> 01:00:37.320
And this is what I recommend for y'all, again, remember Reckless Abandon.

881
01:00:37.320 --> 01:00:44.040
I began to realize in the Bible that there, I had no, God gave me no obligation to love

882
01:00:44.040 --> 01:00:48.120
him back, none.

883
01:00:48.120 --> 01:00:53.760
So the first thing to do if you want to start not just loving the Lord, but being able to

884
01:00:53.760 --> 01:01:02.400
receive his love, is to finally release yourself from being obligated to love God.

885
01:01:02.400 --> 01:01:06.840
The reason we feel, you are a new man, you're not the old man.

886
01:01:06.840 --> 01:01:12.040
The new man lives, the old man has died, the new man always loves his father.

887
01:01:12.040 --> 01:01:15.680
God's not worried you're not going to love him back if you don't feel obligated, you're

888
01:01:15.680 --> 01:01:19.400
always going to love him, because you already do, but it's the old man that we keep trying

889
01:01:19.400 --> 01:01:22.480
to resurrect that our soul still thinks is alive, that it's holding onto, and we think

890
01:01:22.560 --> 01:01:23.560
we have to try to love God.

891
01:01:23.560 --> 01:01:27.040
You don't need to try to love him, God's not worried that you're not going to love him.

892
01:01:27.040 --> 01:01:31.920
But you have to, remember what I talked about, about rest, what we're going to be saying

893
01:01:31.920 --> 01:01:35.080
repeatedly, stop.

894
01:01:35.080 --> 01:01:37.200
Whatever it is you're doing, stop.

895
01:01:37.200 --> 01:01:39.380
Stop loving him.

896
01:01:39.380 --> 01:01:42.040
Stop trying, because you already do.

897
01:01:42.040 --> 01:01:46.500
And as soon as you, because the only way that we know how to love is to try, so stop.

898
01:01:46.500 --> 01:01:50.560
And then you'll discover this other aspect of you that loves very, very powerfully from

899
01:01:50.560 --> 01:01:53.760
the Spirit, and that is how God wants to be loved.

900
01:01:53.760 --> 01:01:57.760
You already have it, you already do it, but we've been hiding it, thinking that we didn't

901
01:01:57.760 --> 01:01:59.560
have it and had to try.

902
01:01:59.560 --> 01:02:03.220
So stop trying.

903
01:02:03.220 --> 01:02:05.120
Stop trying to love God.

904
01:02:05.120 --> 01:02:06.120
Stop loving him.

905
01:02:06.120 --> 01:02:08.080
I'm not saying hate him, I'm not saying that.

906
01:02:08.080 --> 01:02:11.040
Stop loving him, and then you find out that you do.

907
01:02:11.040 --> 01:02:15.640
So we're removing all of that trying, we're removing everything that we're actually doing

908
01:02:15.640 --> 01:02:18.560
that's actually creating resistance.

909
01:02:18.560 --> 01:02:19.560
So that's what it is.

910
01:02:19.560 --> 01:02:20.560
When we're trying, we're resisting.

911
01:02:20.560 --> 01:02:21.560
I'm trying, Lord.

912
01:02:21.560 --> 01:02:22.560
I'm trying.

913
01:02:22.560 --> 01:02:26.160
We don't under, we think that we're moving forward, and we're resisting.

914
01:02:26.160 --> 01:02:28.460
That trying is resisting.

915
01:02:28.460 --> 01:02:30.600
So release yourself from obligation.

916
01:02:30.600 --> 01:02:35.360
Remember that someone, when someone loves you, you're not, and this goes for God, and

917
01:02:35.360 --> 01:02:36.360
it goes for people.

918
01:02:36.360 --> 01:02:40.880
When someone loves you, you're not obligated to love them back, and you're not obligated

919
01:02:40.880 --> 01:02:43.360
to receive their love.

920
01:02:43.360 --> 01:02:48.000
Because love has to be freely given in order for it to be love.

921
01:02:48.000 --> 01:02:51.200
If it's not freely given, it's not love.

922
01:02:51.200 --> 01:02:56.800
So if we're loving out of obligation, you're not even loving anyway, so just stop.

923
01:02:56.800 --> 01:02:59.800
But you already are it, so there's nothing to be afraid of.

924
01:02:59.800 --> 01:03:03.320
You're going to find it there, again, reckless abandon.

925
01:03:03.320 --> 01:03:06.360
These radical things that we're doing that we're thinking, oh my goodness, I'm going

926
01:03:06.360 --> 01:03:09.600
to risk my relationship with the Lord, you know, that's what I thought I was going to

927
01:03:09.600 --> 01:03:10.600
do.

928
01:03:10.600 --> 01:03:14.480
But I had to take that step, and I promise you that's where you find him, is if you make

929
01:03:14.480 --> 01:03:19.020
those very radical decisions.

930
01:03:19.020 --> 01:03:30.780
Remember that, here's proof, that when Christ died, he died with us hating him.

931
01:03:30.780 --> 01:03:33.160
He didn't die when we loved him.

932
01:03:33.160 --> 01:03:39.120
So if God would die because he loved us, in order to restore back to himself someone who

933
01:03:39.120 --> 01:03:45.440
is not only hating him, but actually causing the killing, then we apparently really are

934
01:03:45.440 --> 01:03:48.760
not obligated to love God in order for him to love us back.

935
01:03:48.760 --> 01:03:49.760
He already did it.

936
01:03:49.760 --> 01:03:53.800
He went as far, greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his

937
01:03:53.800 --> 01:03:54.800
friends.

938
01:03:54.800 --> 01:03:57.420
He's already gone as far as he can possibly go.

939
01:03:57.420 --> 01:04:00.800
So we're truly under no obligation to love the Lord back.

940
01:04:00.800 --> 01:04:08.120
So that's proof that we've actually already been there in spirit, because God says that

941
01:04:08.120 --> 01:04:15.580
actually we all killed Christ, and so we've already done all of that in spirit, and there's

942
01:04:15.580 --> 01:04:18.060
nowhere else to go.

943
01:04:18.060 --> 01:04:23.640
Your desiring him is not required for him to desire you.

944
01:04:23.640 --> 01:04:29.040
And you can't lose it, and you don't have to love him back, so just let it go.

945
01:04:29.040 --> 01:04:33.800
You have to let, okay, this is the crux of rest right here.

946
01:04:33.800 --> 01:04:36.320
Rest is release.

947
01:04:36.320 --> 01:04:38.400
Rest is letting go.

948
01:04:38.400 --> 01:04:44.240
You have to let go in order to love, because everything in God has to be freely given and

949
01:04:44.240 --> 01:04:48.600
freely received, so it's all about having open hands and letting go.

950
01:04:48.600 --> 01:04:50.440
And then we find that everything works.

951
01:04:50.440 --> 01:04:52.680
We find that we already are that thing.

952
01:04:52.680 --> 01:04:57.720
So you have to let go first before you can actually receive God's love, and before you

953
01:04:57.720 --> 01:05:00.080
can love him back.

954
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:03.000
you love him because of who it is that you are, not because of something that

955
01:05:03.000 --> 01:05:13.500
you learn or try to do. Okay, so we're about to get into the practical

956
01:05:13.500 --> 01:05:23.320
exercise just really quick. One of the few things I wanted to prepare us

957
01:05:23.320 --> 01:05:33.460
for is that how do we know that we're loved is we have to observe. We have to

958
01:05:33.460 --> 01:05:40.120
watch and we have to receive. We can't try. We can't try to understand. We just

959
01:05:40.120 --> 01:05:44.320
have to let it come. And here's the thing, you can't just let it come at you like

960
01:05:44.320 --> 01:05:47.680
because we're gonna be sitting there and looking at Jesus and we don't just let

961
01:05:47.680 --> 01:05:53.200
it come at us. We have to let it come in and that's what's not gonna feel good.

962
01:05:53.200 --> 01:05:58.600
Meaning like, you know, that right before, now it feels good once it goes in, but

963
01:05:58.600 --> 01:06:02.560
that that moment right before all of the resistance of no I can't receive that, I

964
01:06:02.560 --> 01:06:06.800
don't I don't deserve it. I don't want him to see what he what I think he might

965
01:06:06.800 --> 01:06:11.360
see. I didn't know how he might respond. I didn't know what he might say. We

966
01:06:11.360 --> 01:06:15.960
have to we have to push through all of that and we have to allow ourselves to

967
01:06:16.040 --> 01:06:22.080
just observe what it is that he wants to give us because the gift or the love is

968
01:06:22.080 --> 01:06:28.280
all about the giver. It's not about the receiver. So God's love is not about us.

969
01:06:28.280 --> 01:06:33.760
It's about who it is that he is. So when you go to God, this is very important if

970
01:06:33.760 --> 01:06:38.720
you remember nothing else from this whole weekend, please remember this, that

971
01:06:38.720 --> 01:06:45.200
we need to come to God and allow him to be who he wants to be with us. We don't

972
01:06:45.240 --> 01:06:50.520
get to dictate. We don't get to have a say-so. We need to come to God and allow

973
01:06:50.520 --> 01:06:55.480
him to and just come to and say, okay God, whoever it is that you are, give me that.

974
01:06:55.480 --> 01:07:00.800
Just allow him to allow him to love us because that is the greatest way to love

975
01:07:00.800 --> 01:07:05.000
someone is to not do those five love languages and I'm not saying that

976
01:07:05.000 --> 01:07:08.640
there's not value in them and that that's like a stepping stone. It is not a

977
01:07:08.640 --> 01:07:14.040
mature way to love. Those five love languages are not a mature way to love.

978
01:07:14.040 --> 01:07:17.960
They're a way to grow in love and that's fine but they're not a mature way.

979
01:07:17.960 --> 01:07:22.760
A mature way is not, hey look, this is how I feel loved if you give these

980
01:07:22.760 --> 01:07:26.960
things to me. So I need you to change what you're doing. I need you

981
01:07:26.960 --> 01:07:31.280
to understand I feel loved when people give me gifts. I feel loved when da-da-da-da.

982
01:07:31.280 --> 01:07:35.240
Well, that's not how I give love. Well, that's how I receive it. So if you

983
01:07:35.240 --> 01:07:38.240
want me to feel loved, you know you need to do that. These are the

984
01:07:38.240 --> 01:07:41.640
conversations that husbands and wives have had ever since that book came

985
01:07:41.640 --> 01:07:45.040
out. The problem is we're demanding something of somebody else that has to

986
01:07:45.040 --> 01:07:49.040
be freely given in order for it to be real. So when you love someone, the best

987
01:07:49.040 --> 01:07:53.080
way to love someone is to allow them to be whoever it is that they are

988
01:07:53.080 --> 01:07:56.360
and whatever it is that they want to give you to give it and you to choose

989
01:07:56.360 --> 01:08:00.800
that you're receiving that person. That is what we're choosing in a marriage. Who

990
01:08:00.800 --> 01:08:06.400
do we want to receive from unconditionally without rules? Allowing

991
01:08:06.400 --> 01:08:10.600
them to be who it is that they are. Now we're not talking about

992
01:08:10.600 --> 01:08:14.320
abuse. We're not taking this into some really weird, very extreme. I'm just

993
01:08:14.320 --> 01:08:17.260
talking about healthy relationships. We need to allow

994
01:08:17.260 --> 01:08:20.840
someone to be who it is that they are and to express of themselves what they

995
01:08:20.840 --> 01:08:24.279
want to give us because what they want to give us is themselves. So if we are

996
01:08:24.279 --> 01:08:27.720
dictating to them what it is that we're giving to them, what we want from them,

997
01:08:27.720 --> 01:08:32.760
what's going to make us feel good, that's like taking a drug. It's fake. It doesn't

998
01:08:32.760 --> 01:08:37.520
work. They have to give of themselves, not be dictated to about

999
01:08:37.520 --> 01:08:40.279
something. Okay, I'm going to give you this grocery list. This is how I feel

1000
01:08:40.279 --> 01:08:45.939
loved. That is how we honor and truly love someone else is by

1001
01:08:45.939 --> 01:08:50.200
allowing them to be themselves. So we do the same with the Lord. It's all about

1002
01:08:50.200 --> 01:08:55.520
the giver. Love is all about the giver and not about the receiver. So it's

1003
01:08:55.520 --> 01:08:59.880
sensing what he delights in. When he's looking at you, when we go through this

1004
01:08:59.880 --> 01:09:03.600
in a second, he's looking at you and you're receiving all of this. Just sense

1005
01:09:03.600 --> 01:09:12.680
what he's delighting in in you. So in this exercise, what we're going to do

1006
01:09:12.680 --> 01:09:18.640
is, I didn't learn this from anybody. I just started doing it and I realized how

1007
01:09:18.640 --> 01:09:21.479
powerful it was and then I started telling other people about it, my

1008
01:09:21.479 --> 01:09:24.439
clients or whatever, and you wouldn't believe the number of people who said,

1009
01:09:24.439 --> 01:09:28.000
oh my word, I actually can do it. Because it sounds so simple. It's such an easy

1010
01:09:28.000 --> 01:09:32.520
thing, but that emotional vulnerability, they finally came head-to-head with, oh

1011
01:09:32.520 --> 01:09:37.080
that's my problem. I'm not doing that, am I, whenever I go to the Lord. So it

1012
01:09:37.080 --> 01:09:40.479
highlights what areas in which we don't feel, how we're not feeling safe with

1013
01:09:40.479 --> 01:09:45.240
the Lord. So what I recommend is that you can do whatever you want. You can stay

1014
01:09:45.240 --> 01:09:49.240
exactly where you are. If it was me and I was sitting out there, my personality is

1015
01:09:49.240 --> 01:09:52.720
I would like get in a corner and sit on the floor and do it. You can do whatever

1016
01:09:52.720 --> 01:09:56.160
you want. You can stay in your chair. You can turn your chair around and move your

1017
01:09:56.160 --> 01:10:02.240
chair somewhere, but just get whatever, whatever in

1018
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:04.480
that you need to create for yourself, you can lay down, whatnot, whatever environment

1019
01:10:04.480 --> 01:10:11.360
that you need to create for yourself in order to allow yourself to focus on the Lord and

1020
01:10:11.360 --> 01:10:17.760
to give yourself a chance and a supportive environment for you to feel safe to move in

1021
01:10:17.760 --> 01:10:23.080
the Lord in a way that you haven't felt safe to do so before, in order to risk, in order

1022
01:10:23.080 --> 01:10:29.520
to have that courage and to risk being vulnerable and move into a place that you don't feel

1023
01:10:29.520 --> 01:10:30.520
safe.

1024
01:10:30.520 --> 01:10:38.640
So when you come up against some of this resistance, then just realize, okay, I don't feel safe

1025
01:10:38.640 --> 01:10:43.400
there, so I'm going to free fall into where I don't feel safe.

1026
01:10:43.400 --> 01:10:46.560
So there's no safety net, I'm afraid.

1027
01:10:46.560 --> 01:10:50.680
Now there is a safety net, I mean, it's God, but there's no safety net I can logically

1028
01:10:50.680 --> 01:10:53.520
walk you through to help you cope.

1029
01:10:53.520 --> 01:10:54.520
There's nothing.

1030
01:10:54.520 --> 01:10:56.840
But God says he's there.

1031
01:10:56.840 --> 01:11:00.280
It's this risky, it's this reckless abandon.

1032
01:11:00.280 --> 01:11:02.240
This is the foundation of rest.

1033
01:11:02.240 --> 01:11:03.920
This is why we're talking about it.

1034
01:11:03.920 --> 01:11:08.320
If we do not, are not able to receive God's love, we can't shift into rest because he

1035
01:11:08.320 --> 01:11:09.840
is rest.

1036
01:11:09.840 --> 01:11:11.960
That is the place we're going into.

1037
01:11:11.960 --> 01:11:17.200
So anyway, that's why it's important and that's why we needed to talk about it tonight.

1038
01:11:17.200 --> 01:11:18.400
It's the foundation to everything.

1039
01:11:18.400 --> 01:11:24.880
So when you're in that place, you know, when you've got your little environment set up,

1040
01:11:24.920 --> 01:11:28.440
I imagine Jesus coming to you.

1041
01:11:28.440 --> 01:11:31.280
I personally like to, my favorite place is to sit on my bed.

1042
01:11:31.280 --> 01:11:36.080
I just sit on the side of my bed, you know, where Jesus can come, and I position myself

1043
01:11:36.080 --> 01:11:38.240
where Jesus can come and also sit on my bed.

1044
01:11:38.240 --> 01:11:41.320
And I think I like that because it just feels relaxed.

1045
01:11:41.320 --> 01:11:45.880
And it feels kind of like, I don't know, like close, because I can't do anything.

1046
01:11:45.880 --> 01:11:50.800
I don't like doing it standing because I feel active, feel on the go, and you know, my body

1047
01:11:50.800 --> 01:11:51.800
wants to run and whatever.

1048
01:11:51.960 --> 01:11:55.400
I just, I put myself in, where do I feel is safe?

1049
01:11:55.400 --> 01:11:59.840
And then I invite my Jesus to come, and he just sits there, and then I let him look at

1050
01:11:59.840 --> 01:12:00.840
me.

1051
01:12:00.840 --> 01:12:07.000
So I advise, look him in the eyes, and there's two things that I recommend, do not break

1052
01:12:07.000 --> 01:12:09.120
eye contact.

1053
01:12:09.120 --> 01:12:12.640
Because what happens is when you just sit there and you allow the Lord to love you,

1054
01:12:12.640 --> 01:12:17.720
look at you, you know, like he loves you, you know, how you would imagine somebody who

1055
01:12:17.720 --> 01:12:22.080
loves you would look like, allow him to just love you.

1056
01:12:22.080 --> 01:12:28.280
And it's not going to increase incrementally, like one, two, three, four, five, and feeling

1057
01:12:28.280 --> 01:12:31.320
stronger slowly, it compounds.

1058
01:12:31.320 --> 01:12:35.680
And it goes one, two, four, sixteen, a hundred and thirty-two.

1059
01:12:35.680 --> 01:12:39.120
It goes really fast, and what you're going to want to do is you're going to want to break

1060
01:12:39.120 --> 01:12:41.800
eye contact because that gives you relief.

1061
01:12:41.800 --> 01:12:44.800
It breaks it, and you have to start all over again at one.

1062
01:12:44.800 --> 01:12:49.720
You get up to like sixteen, oh my word, that's too hard, okay, okay, now I'm at one again.

1063
01:12:49.720 --> 01:12:51.000
It creates a bit of relief.

1064
01:12:51.000 --> 01:12:54.840
So I highly recommend that you just, you know, try to stay in eye contact with him as long

1065
01:12:54.840 --> 01:12:58.240
as possible and allow yourself to be loved.

1066
01:12:58.240 --> 01:13:04.240
Here's the other very, very important thing, do not love him back.

1067
01:13:04.240 --> 01:13:06.320
In the exercise, do not love him back.

1068
01:13:06.320 --> 01:13:08.800
I'm not saying hate him, that's not what I'm saying.

1069
01:13:08.800 --> 01:13:13.680
Don't take, you're going to feel a force coming at you, don't, and you're going to want relief

1070
01:13:13.680 --> 01:13:14.680
from it.

1071
01:13:14.680 --> 01:13:17.720
He's going to love you, and you're going to feel intense, and you're going to want to

1072
01:13:17.720 --> 01:13:19.640
try to relieve yourself by giving it back.

1073
01:13:19.640 --> 01:13:25.240
Oh Lord, oh my goodness, this is so amazing, I love you too, and don't do that.

1074
01:13:25.240 --> 01:13:31.800
Now if you, you know, you can't help it, you know, because you're his son, and you're his

1075
01:13:31.800 --> 01:13:35.040
bride, so you are going to love him back, so don't worry about that, don't like try

1076
01:13:35.040 --> 01:13:36.800
really hard to not love him or something.

1077
01:13:36.800 --> 01:13:45.000
My point is be very aware of not giving into a flow, because then, because what we're trying

1078
01:13:45.000 --> 01:13:48.160
to do is we're trying to not receive.

1079
01:13:48.160 --> 01:13:53.520
We're trying to do whatever we can, including godly things of loving him back, trying to

1080
01:13:53.520 --> 01:13:58.280
avoid receiving, and you, and so that's what rest is.

1081
01:13:58.280 --> 01:14:05.400
We have to receive, so anyway, that is what the exercise is, so let him love you how he

1082
01:14:05.400 --> 01:14:11.880
wants to, and let him give you of himself what he wants, and so, and be vulnerable,

1083
01:14:11.880 --> 01:14:15.360
so when you're there, be very vulnerable, and you're going to feel the resistance, and

1084
01:14:15.360 --> 01:14:20.680
you're, and give, and so give in to the lack of control that you're going to feel.

1085
01:14:20.680 --> 01:14:25.120
Just do that kind of free fall into the, into the unsafe, where you, where you don't allow

1086
01:14:25.120 --> 01:14:28.040
yourself any safety net.

1087
01:14:28.040 --> 01:14:32.760
I mean, I can, I can already feel it, and I'm telling you, it really is very scary.

1088
01:14:32.840 --> 01:14:37.360
I'm kind of doing that a bit in the spirit already, and I'm like, oh wow, so give in

1089
01:14:37.360 --> 01:14:44.080
to not being safe, give in to what he might see in you, and then give in to what he might

1090
01:14:44.080 --> 01:14:50.000
know, and then give in, meaning like give in, you know, just surrender to it, give in

1091
01:14:50.000 --> 01:14:52.000
to what he, how he might respond.

1092
01:14:52.000 --> 01:14:55.200
Is he going to be disappointed?

1093
01:14:55.200 --> 01:14:57.880
Is he going to chastise me?

1094
01:14:57.880 --> 01:14:59.960
Are all of my worst fears of what god

1095
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:03.440
thinks about me or what I think about myself,

1096
01:15:03.440 --> 01:15:07.280
am I going to discover that they're actually true

1097
01:15:07.280 --> 01:15:09.800
and fall into it?

1098
01:15:09.800 --> 01:15:13.120
And you're going to discover that they're not.

1099
01:15:13.120 --> 01:15:15.480
But only he can tell you that.

1100
01:15:15.480 --> 01:15:17.680
Going through the rest intensive and hearing teachings

1101
01:15:17.680 --> 01:15:19.240
isn't going to do that.

1102
01:15:19.240 --> 01:15:21.760
Your God is the only one who can convince you

1103
01:15:21.760 --> 01:15:23.760
that you're worth enough.

1104
01:15:23.760 --> 01:15:25.920
So anyway, that's what we're going to do.

1105
01:15:25.920 --> 01:15:28.240
Before we do that, though, I would like to play.

1106
01:15:28.240 --> 01:15:32.320
We're going to play a song and just remind ourselves

1107
01:15:32.320 --> 01:15:35.720
of who it is that God is called, a son of God.

1108
01:15:35.720 --> 01:15:40.880
Just kind of remind ourselves of the strength and power that

1109
01:15:40.880 --> 01:15:43.760
is embodied in who our God actually is.

1110
01:15:43.760 --> 01:15:45.040
So I advise you don't listen.

1111
01:15:45.040 --> 01:15:47.040
She's going to be talking about different things

1112
01:15:47.040 --> 01:15:50.560
that God does or Jesus did, like his miracles and whatever.

1113
01:15:50.560 --> 01:15:54.560
I highly recommend don't focus on those outside things of,

1114
01:15:54.560 --> 01:15:57.080
oh my goodness, my God, he's so big.

1115
01:15:57.080 --> 01:15:58.920
And oh my word, he can do all of these things

1116
01:15:58.920 --> 01:16:00.080
and all these miracles.

1117
01:16:00.080 --> 01:16:03.160
Because again, we're trying to move things away from us

1118
01:16:03.160 --> 01:16:04.760
because we don't feel safe.

1119
01:16:04.760 --> 01:16:06.480
So we're trying to think of who it

1120
01:16:06.480 --> 01:16:09.480
is that God is, who it is that I'm observing.

1121
01:16:09.480 --> 01:16:10.720
It's out here.

1122
01:16:10.720 --> 01:16:12.240
I highly recommend don't do that.

1123
01:16:12.240 --> 01:16:18.560
Just listen to the music and allow it to just kind of like

1124
01:16:18.560 --> 01:16:20.880
open yourself up spiritually and vulnerably

1125
01:16:20.880 --> 01:16:24.800
and receive in the power and the love of who it is that he is

1126
01:16:24.800 --> 01:16:26.880
and receive that into yourself.

1127
01:16:26.880 --> 01:16:28.080
I hope that all makes sense because I

1128
01:16:28.080 --> 01:16:30.560
don't mean this to sound really hokey of like receive it

1129
01:16:30.560 --> 01:16:31.360
into yourself.

1130
01:16:31.360 --> 01:16:33.360
But there's this feeling that I've

1131
01:16:33.360 --> 01:16:36.200
learned that I've realized, oh my word, that's resisting

1132
01:16:36.200 --> 01:16:38.080
because I don't want it to be part of me.

1133
01:16:38.080 --> 01:16:40.160
Let it become part of you and hit you.

1134
01:16:40.160 --> 01:16:41.400
Don't think about it.

1135
01:16:41.400 --> 01:16:42.120
Don't observe it.

1136
01:16:42.120 --> 01:16:43.320
Don't try to figure it out.

1137
01:16:43.320 --> 01:16:45.440
That's all out here.

1138
01:16:45.440 --> 01:16:47.360
And that's keeping you safe.

1139
01:16:47.360 --> 01:16:50.000
And that's what you've been doing your whole life.

1140
01:16:50.000 --> 01:16:51.520
And we're in resistance.

1141
01:16:51.520 --> 01:16:54.400
And so we're trying to figure, we're trying to take baby steps.

1142
01:16:54.400 --> 01:16:57.160
Actually, baby, we're taking a big, huge step in.

1143
01:16:57.160 --> 01:16:58.640
But we're starting here.

1144
01:16:58.640 --> 01:17:00.880
We're going to go other places from here

1145
01:17:00.880 --> 01:17:03.320
but throughout this weekend.

1146
01:17:03.320 --> 01:17:07.760
But we're trying to learn how to identify our resistance

1147
01:17:07.760 --> 01:17:09.360
and to start giving into it.

1148
01:17:09.360 --> 01:17:12.760
So just even allow the music to come in.

1149
01:17:12.760 --> 01:17:16.160
So yeah, if you could start that for us, thanks.

1150
01:17:17.120 --> 01:17:33.360
Oh, son of God, oh, son of God, you have made me,

1151
01:17:33.360 --> 01:17:35.760
you have made me whole.

1152
01:17:35.840 --> 01:17:42.840
Oh, oh, son of God.

1153
01:17:42.840 --> 01:18:10.200
I was born a slave to the water,

1154
01:18:10.200 --> 01:18:15.640
Casting nets in a sea of disbelief.

1155
01:18:15.640 --> 01:18:19.840
There you were saying, don't you be afraid.

1156
01:18:19.840 --> 01:18:30.640
Then you called me, you called me, oh, son of God.

1157
01:18:30.640 --> 01:18:36.120
Oh, son of God.

1158
01:18:36.120 --> 01:18:45.600
You have made me, you have made me whole.

1159
01:18:45.600 --> 01:18:51.080
Oh, son of God.

1160
01:18:51.080 --> 01:18:56.520
All my life I was just a lowly beggar,

1161
01:18:56.520 --> 01:19:01.880
Paralyzed by the shame that held me down.

1162
01:19:01.880 --> 01:19:06.080
But there you were saying, stand up and go home.

1163
01:19:06.080 --> 01:19:16.880
Then you healed me, you healed me, oh, son of God.

1164
01:19:16.880 --> 01:19:22.360
Oh, son of God.

1165
01:19:22.360 --> 01:19:31.840
You have made me, you have made me whole.

1166
01:19:31.840 --> 01:19:37.320
Oh, son of God.

1167
01:19:37.320 --> 01:19:39.800
I will follow you.

1168
01:19:45.280 --> 01:19:53.760
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

1169
01:19:53.760 --> 01:19:56.800
I will follow you.

1170
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:28.200
Oh Son of God Oh Son of God

1171
01:20:28.200 --> 01:20:35.200
You have made me, You have made me whole Oh Son of God

1172
01:20:35.200 --> 01:20:51.200
So now we'll be playing some different music, while everybody can just kind of get whatever

1173
01:20:51.200 --> 01:20:56.200
environment that they want to be in, and just allow Jesus to come to you, just allow Him

1174
01:20:56.200 --> 01:21:03.200
to love you. There's no rules, but learn how to receive. I gave you some guidelines,

1175
01:21:03.200 --> 01:21:08.200
I recommend not breaking eye contact whenever it's possible, I recommend not loving him

1176
01:21:08.200 --> 01:21:12.200
back, but the whole point of that is to give you something to kind of grab a hold of, to

1177
01:21:12.200 --> 01:21:19.200
wonder am I receiving or not, to understand how we need to be vulnerable. So if any of

1178
01:21:19.200 --> 01:21:24.200
y'all have any struggles or any questions in any of these practical exercises, just

1179
01:21:24.200 --> 01:21:29.200
feel free to raise your hand and I can come talk to you, I will not have my mic on, and

1180
01:21:29.200 --> 01:21:33.200
then you can tell me what it is that you're struggling with, so I can help you kind of

1181
01:21:33.200 --> 01:21:37.200
identify it, because my desire is for you to actually live this, for you to understand

1182
01:21:37.200 --> 01:21:43.200
what it means to, how to push past, to understand how it is that you're resisting, to be able

1183
01:21:43.200 --> 01:21:49.200
to identify it, and then to know how do I not do that. So if you have any major struggles,

1184
01:21:49.200 --> 01:21:53.200
you know, work as much as you can with your father, you know, with Jesus, it doesn't have

1185
01:21:53.200 --> 01:21:57.200
to be Jesus, it could be God the Father, it could be all three of them there, you know,

1186
01:21:57.200 --> 01:22:01.200
God the Father, God the Son, the Holy Spirit, whatever you want. I had to use Jesus because

1187
01:22:01.200 --> 01:22:08.200
Jesus was the one from whom I had so much resentment, so to me that's why I chose Jesus,

1188
01:22:08.200 --> 01:22:12.200
but yours might be God the Father, that might be the one that you're struggling with and

1189
01:22:12.200 --> 01:22:16.200
feeling loved by, you know, or maybe you've never understood the Holy Spirit, you know,

1190
01:22:16.200 --> 01:22:25.200
whichever one. The other thing that I forgot to mention, excuse me, allow, don't try to

1191
01:22:25.200 --> 01:22:33.200
fix yourself up and break down your own walls and overcome yourself and all of this in order

1192
01:22:33.200 --> 01:22:38.200
to be able to receive God's love. Come to God's love, make yourself as vulnerable as

1193
01:22:38.200 --> 01:22:45.200
possible, and His love will break down the walls. Again, if there's nothing that we can

1194
01:22:45.200 --> 01:22:51.200
do to get into the Kingdom, then there's nothing that we can do in order to receive

1195
01:22:51.200 --> 01:22:57.200
God's love. We don't need to try, you don't need to try to overcome yourself, you just

1196
01:22:57.200 --> 01:23:02.200
need to stop. You need to present yourself to your Father and allow the ways of His love

1197
01:23:02.200 --> 01:23:06.200
or however it is that you might experience it, and this might be a development thing,

1198
01:23:06.200 --> 01:23:10.200
you might not experience much tonight, but you may tomorrow, you know, so don't worry

1199
01:23:10.200 --> 01:23:16.200
about it. As you can tell, I'm still experiencing things. But just allow His love to topple

1200
01:23:16.200 --> 01:23:21.200
your walls and to break down your walls. Your walls were not meant for you to tear down.

1201
01:23:21.200 --> 01:23:26.200
They were meant for them to be completely demolished when you exposed them to His love.

1202
01:23:26.200 --> 01:23:32.200
Allow them to fall. Don't keep holding them up when He's trying to knock them down. Just

1203
01:23:32.200 --> 01:23:39.200
let all of those walls of resistance be just broken down by His love. So, that's it. We're

1204
01:23:39.200 --> 01:23:42.200
going to play a song. We're going to play it just a couple of times. It's going to be

1205
01:23:42.200 --> 01:23:47.200
about 10, 11 minutes, because I want to give people a really good time to settle into this,

1206
01:23:47.200 --> 01:23:51.200
but that's all it's going to be, so don't be too, don't be terrified that you have to

1207
01:23:51.200 --> 01:23:55.200
be there looking at Jesus for 10 minutes, because trust me, it can be a long 10 minutes.

1208
01:23:55.200 --> 01:24:01.200
And then after that, we're, everyone can leave, and we'll see y'all tomorrow at 9 o'clock

1209
01:24:01.200 --> 01:24:07.200
here, and we'll be talking about the fact that we are, God says that we are one spirit

1210
01:24:07.200 --> 01:24:11.200
that, with Him, we're one with Him. We're going to be talking about the tree of life

1211
01:24:11.200 --> 01:24:16.200
versus the tree of the knowledge of evil, idea of resting versus how we've been living

1212
01:24:16.200 --> 01:24:21.200
life, choosing to strive for everything, and then we'll be talking about spirit, soul,

1213
01:24:21.200 --> 01:24:27.200
and body, how we operate in those different realms, and how to shift up into our identity,

1214
01:24:27.200 --> 01:24:32.200
which is in our spirit, and also some more practical exercises tomorrow. So, after we're

1215
01:24:32.200 --> 01:24:36.200
done, y'all can, y'all have a really good night. I recommend you practicing this as

1216
01:24:36.200 --> 01:24:41.200
much as possible with your Lord while you're here. So, thank you, Jonathan.

1217
01:25:30.000 --> 01:25:40.020
♪♪

1218
01:25:40.020 --> 01:25:50.020
♪♪

1219
01:25:50.020 --> 01:26:00.020
♪♪

1220
01:26:00.020 --> 01:26:10.040
♪♪

1221
01:26:10.040 --> 01:26:20.040
♪♪

1222
01:26:20.040 --> 01:26:30.060
♪♪

1223
01:26:30.060 --> 01:26:40.060
♪♪

1224
01:26:40.060 --> 01:26:50.080
♪♪

1225
01:26:50.080 --> 01:27:00.080
♪♪

1226
01:27:00.080 --> 01:27:10.100
♪♪

1227
01:27:10.100 --> 01:27:20.100
♪♪

1228
01:27:20.100 --> 01:27:30.120
♪♪

1229
01:27:30.120 --> 01:27:40.120
♪♪

1230
01:27:40.120 --> 01:27:50.140
♪♪

1231
01:27:50.140 --> 01:28:00.140
♪♪

1232
01:28:00.140 --> 01:28:10.160
♪♪

1233
01:28:10.160 --> 01:28:20.180
♪♪

1234
01:28:20.180 --> 01:28:30.180
♪♪

1235
01:28:30.180 --> 01:28:40.200
♪♪

1236
01:28:40.200 --> 01:28:50.200
♪♪

1237
01:28:50.200 --> 01:29:00.220
♪♪

1238
01:29:00.220 --> 01:29:10.220
♪♪

1239
01:29:10.220 --> 01:29:20.240
♪♪

1240
01:29:20.240 --> 01:29:30.240
♪♪

1241
01:29:30.240 --> 01:29:40.260
♪♪

1242
01:29:40.260 --> 01:29:50.260
♪♪

1243
01:29:50.260 --> 01:30:00.300
♪♪

1244
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:26.940
♪

1245
01:30:30.000 --> 01:30:40.000
♪

1246
01:31:00.000 --> 01:31:10.000
♪

1247
01:31:10.000 --> 01:31:20.000
♪

1248
01:31:20.000 --> 01:31:30.000
♪

1249
01:31:30.000 --> 01:31:40.000
♪

1250
01:31:40.000 --> 01:31:50.000
♪

1251
01:31:50.000 --> 01:32:00.000
♪

1252
01:32:00.000 --> 01:32:10.000
♪

1253
01:32:10.000 --> 01:32:20.000
♪

1254
01:32:20.000 --> 01:32:30.000
♪

1255
01:32:30.000 --> 01:32:40.000
♪

1256
01:32:40.000 --> 01:32:50.000
♪

1257
01:32:50.000 --> 01:33:00.000
♪

1258
01:33:00.000 --> 01:33:10.000
♪

1259
01:33:10.000 --> 01:33:20.000
♪

1260
01:33:20.000 --> 01:33:30.000
♪

1261
01:33:30.000 --> 01:33:40.000
♪

1262
01:33:40.000 --> 01:33:50.000
♪

1263
01:33:50.000 --> 01:34:00.000
♪

1264
01:34:00.000 --> 01:34:10.000
♪

1265
01:34:10.000 --> 01:34:20.000
♪

1266
01:34:20.000 --> 01:34:30.000
♪

1267
01:34:30.000 --> 01:34:40.000
♪

1268
01:34:40.000 --> 01:35:00.000
♪

1269
01:35:30.000 --> 01:35:40.000
♪

1270
01:35:40.000 --> 01:35:50.020
♪

1271
01:35:50.020 --> 01:36:00.020
♪

1272
01:36:00.020 --> 01:36:10.040
♪

1273
01:36:10.040 --> 01:36:20.040
♪

1274
01:36:20.040 --> 01:36:30.040
♪

1275
01:36:30.040 --> 01:36:40.060
♪

1276
01:36:40.060 --> 01:36:50.060
♪

1277
01:36:50.060 --> 01:37:00.080
♪

1278
01:37:00.080 --> 01:37:10.080
♪

1279
01:37:10.080 --> 01:37:20.100
♪

1280
01:37:20.100 --> 01:37:30.100
♪

1281
01:37:30.100 --> 01:37:40.120
♪

1282
01:37:40.120 --> 01:37:50.120
♪

1283
01:37:50.120 --> 01:38:00.120
♪

1284
01:38:00.120 --> 01:38:10.120
♪

1285
01:38:10.120 --> 01:38:20.120
♪

1286
01:38:20.120 --> 01:38:30.120
♪

1287
01:38:30.120 --> 01:38:40.120
♪

1288
01:39:00.120 --> 01:39:10.120
♪

1289
01:39:10.120 --> 01:39:20.120
♪

1290
01:39:20.120 --> 01:39:30.120
♪

1291
01:39:30.120 --> 01:39:40.120
♪

1292
01:39:40.120 --> 01:39:50.120
♪

1293
01:39:50.120 --> 01:40:00.120
♪

1294
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:04.000
Anyway, you all have a wonderful night, and I will see y'all tomorrow morning.