Hello, hello! I know I haven't been live in here in forever, but I started typing
out a post and I was like, this is gonna be forever long. I should probably just
get on and explain what I'm trying to say. So, I've been... I went back and I've
been re-watching some of the videos here and all the conference videos again, and
I've really just been amazed at how much I am owning this, how much I'm operating
and rest, how much I'm really just living in it. Like, it's... it's... it's who I am now.
I mean, and I know that it's who I've always been, but you know, the awareness
of it, the recognition of it, I guess I should say, it's just so... been so
pronounced over this past month or so, how much I have incorporated it into my
my business and what I teach other people, and it's... it just permeates
everything that that I do now, and I think so often we don't recognize, like,
progress, so to speak, or the ways that we've changed or matured and grown with
him until you go back, you know, and look at this stuff again and go, oh wow, you
know, it speaks to me in a completely different way than it originally did
when I first, you know, came into the group and started learning about this
stuff. So, first, I just wanted to acknowledge that and encourage all of
you to go back and go through some of this stuff again and just, you know,
recognize the maturity that's... that has happened that maybe needs to be
acknowledged and just thank God for it, you know. I know for me, it has just
completely changed the trajectory of my life. Like, I look back a year ago at
where I was and where I am now, and it's... I'm a different person. So, I'm so thankful
to Ashley, to this group, to Father for bringing us together. That was absolutely
divinely orchestrated. Having that divine connection with Ashley and her and I
staying in touch for a while before she... she even had this group go in or had
this message out. There was something that just kept pulling me back to her
and in staying connected with her until she came out with this. So, I know that
was all him. The other thing I wanted to share with you is, you know, even in
acknowledging the maturity that I've had and how quickly I'm able to shift now
because I just recognize it so much faster and release so much faster, you
know. It's not painful anymore. It's just a, you know, acknowledge. Here it is. You
can have it and let it go. So, I'm able to shift so much faster and I had that
experience. This is what I was wanting to share with you. Last week, I had two
really, not even two full days, I'd say a day, a full day of really intense, I don't
even know, intense emotion and intense, just super heavy, heaviness of like and I
recognized, okay, this is something I need to release but I couldn't get a handle
on what was happening and I know that Ashley tells us we don't have to
recognize what it is to release it and so I was, you know, just saying that out
loud like, Lord, I don't know what this is but
I know it needs to be released and so I'm just gonna do that and I it was like it just wouldn't I
Couldn't let go. I
Can let go of pieces
But I couldn't let go of all of it until I knew what it was
and I think it was very important in this particular situation that I know what it was and
So anyway, what happened was
I am now in
It's called School of Kingdom and we're learning about
Excuse me
Developing
Our gifts and specifically the gift of prophecy and
And
so last week when we were learning about all the different ways that God can is
Maybe communicating with you that you don't recognize, right?
And the four main ways that we get prophecy is see here feel and know
and the guy was teaching, you know that
one of these will be at least what most people have one primary and a secondary right and
and so
As he was going through explaining each one I was like I
Do every one of those?
and I've always
Done every one of those and and I I like I don't remember a time
Where I wasn't
Doing all four of those like that's just been me forever in my life. That's how I operate in my
life, but what I
immediately when I
Am trying to articulate this this is why I did what I like try to type it all out because I I'm having trouble
articulating what it is
It's been my way of
Operating my whole life and
And
As he was explaining it and I was having that realization
Hey, I just had this
Sorry, I'm just trying to get the words for what it is. I am having a lot of emotion coming, but I'm also just trying to
Articulate what
What actually happened in that moment I haven't articulated that out loud yet
As he was teaching this I had this like really intense
Sadness
Come over me and I didn't recognize
Why at the time but it's like I'm just trying to get the words out
Come over me and
I didn't recognize
Why at the time but it's like I couldn't he kept going for like another hour
And I I couldn't hear anything else. I couldn't come out of it. I couldn't I
Couldn't tell you another word. He said after that. I I was just can so consumed by it in
That in the whole night. It was like that was late Monday night
And so the whole next day that whole Tuesday, I was trying to process through
What that was and and the Lord finally revealed to me or I had the revelation, right?
I'm sure he was trying to communicate it to me and I wasn't getting it
Like I said, I knew it was something I needed to release that I didn't know what it was
And
So I was saying, you know Lord died I'm releasing this
This heaviness to you releasing this sadness to you. Like I was using every word I could
think of to try and describe what it was so I could let go of it and
It just wouldn't like it was like there were pieces breaking off, but it it wasn't going away
And it took me a full
24 hours
To get the revelation that I
Was holding accusation against him
because I in the accusation was that he had not been speaking to me that he was
not giving me these visions like he was everybody else or he wasn't talking to
me like he was everybody else and he wasn't doing for me like he was doing
for everybody else and I don't even know where that comes from because I like I'm
thinking back to when I was little it's not like I was comparing notes with
other people of like how's God talking to you you know that wasn't a
conversation I'd ever had but I had been holding that against him thinking just
like Ashley tells us right that I was abandoned and alone my entire life and I
was suddenly having the realization
that he had been communicating with me the whole time the entire time that way
that I was operating that I thought was just me it was him and it had been him
my whole life and I didn't recognize that it was him all these things that I
was doing the hearing feeling knowing seeing I recognized as as prophecy right
like I thought that's what it was I thought you had dreams and visions and
that's how I would have defined that gift to you you know to you or to
anybody else I had asked me what is what is prophesying oh you get visions
you know I think of like Old Testament how they would have get you know dreams
and visions from God or whatever and I and so I was accusing him of not giving
me that and out of those four seeing it's the one I'm probably the least
proficient in I guess it's the best way to describe it and so I was holding that
against him saying you're not communicating with me not realizing that
all the other ways to hear feel and know our ways that he had been
communicating my whole life that I thought I had developed as a trauma
response all these ways that I had just been operating all my life I thought I
had developed because of the environment that I had grown up in and so having
that revelation and that realization of that's been him the whole time and
that's the way he made me so I hope that encourages you to some to just open your
eyes to some new ways that maybe he's been communicating with you and you
didn't realize it was him like I I didn't recognize it was him I just I
thought it was me I thought it was me in my own head having conversation with
myself but it's been him it's been me and him together having conversation
that intuition that I have about people that's been him communicating with me
you know about that person and I thought it was just me right I've always been
told oh you're too sensitive you feel too much you know I feel atmospheres
when I walk into a room so it's like all these things that other people have
tried to have told me are wrong and bad and not good about me right all these
things that people have put me down for that I've tried to squash in myself
because I thought
There was something wrong with me
I would just encourage you to look at those things about yourself that other people point out and say you're wrong
And take that to the lord and ask him
What is this about
Why did you put this in me? Why did you create?
me this way
And he'll show you like he's shown me like
I've given you all these things because that's how I want you to operate in the world
That's how I want you to show
Me to other people, right? That's that's it's been
An expression of him and I together
That not only have I not appreciated it
It but I was starting to resent it because I felt like it was separating me from other people
So I was able to
Just release that accusation
And now hey ashley, um
Now being able to not i've released it
Owning it as a gift
Um
Is stepping more fully into that embracing it
um
I think owning it is the best way to say it
Being able to own it and operate it
Operate in it more fully
Um
And knowing that it is a gift from him and now I can use it
to benefit
Other people to benefit the body to benefit
um to bring people to him in a way
That I would have
That I would have not expressed before
so
anyway
Yes, you'll have to go back and watch from the beginning. I don't know how long i've been on here but
I've been talking forever. Um
So
Yeah, I was just saying that I was gonna I had started typing it all out and I was like
This is gonna be really really long. So i'm just gonna go live and um, yeah, so you'll have to go back
And watch from the beginning but um, yeah, I just wanted to encourage y'all to look at those places
Where other people
Have maybe put you down and see am I
Is that a gifting that actually a gifting that god has given me that i've been holding?
against him
Not realizing that it was his gift
so
Yeah, I guess that now that i've been able to I recognized it. I released it
Now from a place of rest
Owning it operating in it and giving that gift out to other people so
um
Yep, I think that's it
Um, I hope this blesses y'all I hope you have a great day I hope to see
um
More activity back here. I see a lot of you
In other groups now, um in our group this group specifically not being as active
So I would encourage you to just come back and let's re-engage
And let's really
You know take ownership of this and
And know that we're doing this together
Um
So for those of you, I know i've seen some of you posting that maybe you're discouraged
Or disappointed or maybe struggling with owning this
For yourself know that
I'm here. We're all here. We're all doing this together. So I just encourage you to come back and re-engage
um
with the group and um
Yeah, and I know you know, maybe we'll have more new people coming in I know I saw actually um
doing some more lives here lately,
and opening up some teaching to more people.
So maybe we'll get the group reinvigorated.
Yeah, so all right.
I love you ladies, and we'll talk soon.
Blessings.