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Hello, hello! I know I haven't been live in here in forever, but I started typing

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out a post and I was like, this is gonna be forever long. I should probably just

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get on and explain what I'm trying to say. So, I've been... I went back and I've

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been re-watching some of the videos here and all the conference videos again, and

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I've really just been amazed at how much I am owning this, how much I'm operating

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and rest, how much I'm really just living in it. Like, it's... it's... it's who I am now.

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I mean, and I know that it's who I've always been, but you know, the awareness

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of it, the recognition of it, I guess I should say, it's just so... been so

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pronounced over this past month or so, how much I have incorporated it into my

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my business and what I teach other people, and it's... it just permeates

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everything that that I do now, and I think so often we don't recognize, like,

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progress, so to speak, or the ways that we've changed or matured and grown with

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him until you go back, you know, and look at this stuff again and go, oh wow, you

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know, it speaks to me in a completely different way than it originally did

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when I first, you know, came into the group and started learning about this

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stuff. So, first, I just wanted to acknowledge that and encourage all of

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you to go back and go through some of this stuff again and just, you know,

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recognize the maturity that's... that has happened that maybe needs to be

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acknowledged and just thank God for it, you know. I know for me, it has just

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completely changed the trajectory of my life. Like, I look back a year ago at

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where I was and where I am now, and it's... I'm a different person. So, I'm so thankful

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to Ashley, to this group, to Father for bringing us together. That was absolutely

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divinely orchestrated. Having that divine connection with Ashley and her and I

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staying in touch for a while before she... she even had this group go in or had

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this message out. There was something that just kept pulling me back to her

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and in staying connected with her until she came out with this. So, I know that

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was all him. The other thing I wanted to share with you is, you know, even in

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acknowledging the maturity that I've had and how quickly I'm able to shift now

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because I just recognize it so much faster and release so much faster, you

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know. It's not painful anymore. It's just a, you know, acknowledge. Here it is. You

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can have it and let it go. So, I'm able to shift so much faster and I had that

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experience. This is what I was wanting to share with you. Last week, I had two

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really, not even two full days, I'd say a day, a full day of really intense, I don't

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even know, intense emotion and intense, just super heavy, heaviness of like and I

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recognized, okay, this is something I need to release but I couldn't get a handle

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on what was happening and I know that Ashley tells us we don't have to

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recognize what it is to release it and so I was, you know, just saying that out

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loud like, Lord, I don't know what this is but

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I know it needs to be released and so I'm just gonna do that and I it was like it just wouldn't I

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Couldn't let go. I

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Can let go of pieces

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But I couldn't let go of all of it until I knew what it was

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and I think it was very important in this particular situation that I know what it was and

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So anyway, what happened was

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I am now in

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It's called School of Kingdom and we're learning about

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Excuse me

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Developing

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Our gifts and specifically the gift of prophecy and

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And

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so last week when we were learning about all the different ways that God can is

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Maybe communicating with you that you don't recognize, right?

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And the four main ways that we get prophecy is see here feel and know

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and the guy was teaching, you know that

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one of these will be at least what most people have one primary and a secondary right and

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and so

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As he was going through explaining each one I was like I

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Do every one of those?

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and I've always

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Done every one of those and and I I like I don't remember a time

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Where I wasn't

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Doing all four of those like that's just been me forever in my life. That's how I operate in my

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life, but what I

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immediately when I

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Am trying to articulate this this is why I did what I like try to type it all out because I I'm having trouble

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articulating what it is

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It's been my way of

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Operating my whole life and

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And

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As he was explaining it and I was having that realization

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Hey, I just had this

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Sorry, I'm just trying to get the words for what it is. I am having a lot of emotion coming, but I'm also just trying to

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Articulate what

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What actually happened in that moment I haven't articulated that out loud yet

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As he was teaching this I had this like really intense

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Sadness

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Come over me and I didn't recognize

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Why at the time but it's like I'm just trying to get the words out

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Come over me and

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I didn't recognize

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Why at the time but it's like I couldn't he kept going for like another hour

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And I I couldn't hear anything else. I couldn't come out of it. I couldn't I

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Couldn't tell you another word. He said after that. I I was just can so consumed by it in

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That in the whole night. It was like that was late Monday night

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And so the whole next day that whole Tuesday, I was trying to process through

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What that was and and the Lord finally revealed to me or I had the revelation, right?

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I'm sure he was trying to communicate it to me and I wasn't getting it

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Like I said, I knew it was something I needed to release that I didn't know what it was

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And

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So I was saying, you know Lord died I'm releasing this

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This heaviness to you releasing this sadness to you. Like I was using every word I could

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think of to try and describe what it was so I could let go of it and

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It just wouldn't like it was like there were pieces breaking off, but it it wasn't going away

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And it took me a full

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24 hours

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To get the revelation that I

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Was holding accusation against him

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because I in the accusation was that he had not been speaking to me that he was

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not giving me these visions like he was everybody else or he wasn't talking to

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me like he was everybody else and he wasn't doing for me like he was doing

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for everybody else and I don't even know where that comes from because I like I'm

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thinking back to when I was little it's not like I was comparing notes with

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other people of like how's God talking to you you know that wasn't a

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conversation I'd ever had but I had been holding that against him thinking just

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like Ashley tells us right that I was abandoned and alone my entire life and I

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was suddenly having the realization

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that he had been communicating with me the whole time the entire time that way

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that I was operating that I thought was just me it was him and it had been him

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my whole life and I didn't recognize that it was him all these things that I

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was doing the hearing feeling knowing seeing I recognized as as prophecy right

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like I thought that's what it was I thought you had dreams and visions and

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that's how I would have defined that gift to you you know to you or to

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anybody else I had asked me what is what is prophesying oh you get visions

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you know I think of like Old Testament how they would have get you know dreams

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and visions from God or whatever and I and so I was accusing him of not giving

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me that and out of those four seeing it's the one I'm probably the least

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proficient in I guess it's the best way to describe it and so I was holding that

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against him saying you're not communicating with me not realizing that

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all the other ways to hear feel and know our ways that he had been

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communicating my whole life that I thought I had developed as a trauma

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response all these ways that I had just been operating all my life I thought I

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had developed because of the environment that I had grown up in and so having

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that revelation and that realization of that's been him the whole time and

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that's the way he made me so I hope that encourages you to some to just open your

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eyes to some new ways that maybe he's been communicating with you and you

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didn't realize it was him like I I didn't recognize it was him I just I

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thought it was me I thought it was me in my own head having conversation with

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myself but it's been him it's been me and him together having conversation

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that intuition that I have about people that's been him communicating with me

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you know about that person and I thought it was just me right I've always been

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told oh you're too sensitive you feel too much you know I feel atmospheres

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when I walk into a room so it's like all these things that other people have

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tried to have told me are wrong and bad and not good about me right all these

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things that people have put me down for that I've tried to squash in myself

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because I thought

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There was something wrong with me

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I would just encourage you to look at those things about yourself that other people point out and say you're wrong

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And take that to the lord and ask him

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What is this about

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Why did you put this in me? Why did you create?

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me this way

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And he'll show you like he's shown me like

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I've given you all these things because that's how I want you to operate in the world

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That's how I want you to show

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Me to other people, right? That's that's it's been

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An expression of him and I together

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That not only have I not appreciated it

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It but I was starting to resent it because I felt like it was separating me from other people

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So I was able to

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Just release that accusation

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And now hey ashley, um

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Now being able to not i've released it

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Owning it as a gift

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Um

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Is stepping more fully into that embracing it

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um

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I think owning it is the best way to say it

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Being able to own it and operate it

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Operate in it more fully

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Um

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And knowing that it is a gift from him and now I can use it

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to benefit

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Other people to benefit the body to benefit

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um to bring people to him in a way

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That I would have

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That I would have not expressed before

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so

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anyway

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Yes, you'll have to go back and watch from the beginning. I don't know how long i've been on here but

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I've been talking forever. Um

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So

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Yeah, I was just saying that I was gonna I had started typing it all out and I was like

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This is gonna be really really long. So i'm just gonna go live and um, yeah, so you'll have to go back

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And watch from the beginning but um, yeah, I just wanted to encourage y'all to look at those places

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Where other people

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Have maybe put you down and see am I

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Is that a gifting that actually a gifting that god has given me that i've been holding?

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against him

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Not realizing that it was his gift

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so

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Yeah, I guess that now that i've been able to I recognized it. I released it

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Now from a place of rest

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Owning it operating in it and giving that gift out to other people so

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um

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Yep, I think that's it

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Um, I hope this blesses y'all I hope you have a great day I hope to see

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um

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More activity back here. I see a lot of you

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In other groups now, um in our group this group specifically not being as active

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So I would encourage you to just come back and let's re-engage

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And let's really

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You know take ownership of this and

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And know that we're doing this together

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Um

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So for those of you, I know i've seen some of you posting that maybe you're discouraged

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Or disappointed or maybe struggling with owning this

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For yourself know that

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I'm here. We're all here. We're all doing this together. So I just encourage you to come back and re-engage

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um

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with the group and um

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Yeah, and I know you know, maybe we'll have more new people coming in I know I saw actually um

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doing some more lives here lately,

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and opening up some teaching to more people.

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So maybe we'll get the group reinvigorated.

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Yeah, so all right.

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I love you ladies, and we'll talk soon.

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Blessings.