Hi guys, so, this is my journey share, I am excited to get started with this journey share
thing.
So, yesterday I journaled my prayers and accusations against God and I actually did it during our
fireside chat because I knew that if, that I was feeling, had more faith in, and that
if I did it, if I waited, there was a possibility that I wouldn't do it later.
So I just started to do that while listening and I'm really grateful that I did.
I really thought that I didn't have accusations against God, as I had mentioned in the previous
time together online, but I realized that I did about the promises that I thought he'd
said to me and just about my disenchantment with just the overall difficulty of life.
So, it was freeing to get that out and I'm really glad I did.
I did it, I journaled again this morning and it was filled with, my journals were filled
with my thoughts about my marriage and doubt about decisions that I've made in the past
year and I really appreciate Karen for being vulnerable on our fireside chat about her
marriage and Ashley's, I appreciate Ashley's advice about just letting go and situations
and how that kind of related to the grief video that she had added and so that really
encouraged me to just to get it all and to really stop isolating from God, which I realized
that earlier in the week that that's really what I had been doing last week and along
with isolating from people and so after the fireside chat yesterday, I, well, my husband,
I was talking to my husband about like just how much better I feel after being on that
and just kind of sharing some of the struggles that I've been going through over the last
like 10 months or so and we, in the course of the conversation, which started off good,
we got into an argument and so normally, you know, that would trigger me but I, you know,
I made a point to just release my marriage to God when I journaled this morning about
the argument that we had last night and in fact, like journaling my feelings about that
argument really, like, God, he prepared me for that conversation with him that I had
later on this morning, it was really actually pretty early this morning and he, the Papa
just, Papa God gave me such like a sweet experience like with him and so that's like,
I guess, like the second time that I've experienced that, experienced him since being in this
program and it just really comforted me and I felt really secure and so I'm just really,
really thankful for his preparation for that and for not being susceptible to that trigger again.
I found that my prayers and journaling my prayers were really, I've been journaling the
thoughts that have been circling around in my head that were like really leading me to like
a dark place and just getting them out and just journaling those thoughts to God instead
of just letting them stay in my head just really like made all the difference and I kind of
understand just about, you know, what we learned about God not superseding your free will so even
though he knows you're thinking about it, it's like talking to him about it gives him permission
to do something about it and to step in on your behalf and I just kind of wanted to give
also a couple shout outs and thank you to, first of all, to my friend Reits who
Rita told me about this program that our friend Kim had mentioned to her some months ago.
So I wanted to clarify that because I misspoke last time I talked about that.
And so I'm really thankful for that because I really need this during this challenging
time that I believe in faith is not going to be as challenging anymore that I'll be
able to operate and rest.
But I also want to thank Diana and Karen for just in our conversations talking about mentioning
how much the kingship and rest relief exercises, that video for really blessed them.
And so I did that on Wednesday morning and that really helped to like start to help control
those thoughts.
And I think that was a great segue to me, then being able to put them down on paper
recently.
And so I, even though, you know, midweek, I feel like I was in a bit of a haze.
I was freer after having doing doing some of the theta meditation exercise things, but
I know I wasn't like I'm pulling back the onion.
And so I definitely feel so much freer today.
The haze has lifted and I just feel really victorious.
And I'm just so thankful for my my friends.
I'm excited about entering this weekend victorious and going on a little girls sleepover with
my friend Kim and Rita.
So that's really exciting.
I'm excited to have somewhere to go, get out of the house and something to look forward
to.
So I just appreciate God because I know he he thought of everything and I know this is
his way of working through Kim to try to help me get out of some of my some of the things
I guess I've been choosing over by.
So thank you so much and I'm looking forward to more victories and going deeper as we continue
over the next few weeks and beyond.