You
Hey
Oh, yeah your very there we go
Amy I didn't even know you were there. All I see is a picture
Yeah, I'm here. I'm on mute and I'm fixing dinner for mine
I'm listening. Hey to the kids. You weren't kidding
Hey to Jonathan Joey
What's that I said, hey to Jonathan and Joey hey Cheryl
So it's a hey, hey Joey
Oh
Cheryl how are the chickens?
They're getting so big
Really? Oh, we met fine
Yeah, so they're completely scared of us now now that they've been out outside for a couple of weeks, but they're a lot of fun
That's great. Well, so what are their names?
um
Lacey Camille
lightning bug
honey
Garfield and Gertrude
I
Love it. I love it. I had a friend who had chickens
I one of them I never can remember one of them one of their names, but she's a lawyer and
my friend is and
she
surprisingly, she's she's a
Fairly liberal actually
but I'm
Yeah, which is so anyway, but I love her. Yeah, I you would be shocked. It's
The people that I am friends that I am friends with does everybody.
So anyway, so she, um, people who live, have all kinds of very interesting
lifestyles, uh, but anyway, so, but she had, one of her chickens was named
Margaret Thatcher, babysit Margaret Thatcher, when my friend would go out of town.
That is the funniest.
I know.
It's such a funny name.
I mean, for a chicken, great name, but she was, she was
an amazing woman, but funny name for a chicken.
Yeah.
Hey, Carrie, you look great.
I'm glad to be here.
I think this is what I need.
I'm so glad.
I'm glad we all be here.
I was on Marco Polo with them, with Priscilla right before we got on.
Oh, okay.
Is she on here?
Trying to find her.
Oh, there.
I see her muted and non-video.
I'm here.
I almost did that myself.
I always forget to turn off the microphone and the camera, so I don't dare.
You know my experience with the microphone.
I've never done it with a zoom call, but I have that on Marco Polo, you know, I
always make sure to like, I'll think I'll, I'll listen to a lot of Marco Polo's in
the, in the, uh, in bath.
Well, cause I have friends like, like I've told y'all like she, you know, like visit.
So I'll have like a video that's like an hour and 45 minutes long, you know, or a
series of videos that are an hour, 45 minutes long.
So anyway, I just relax while I listen to them.
And, um, it's, it's, it's better than a movie, you know, we just, we just visit.
Well, then if I want to respond to realize, wait a minute, wrong, wrong time.
Right.
I've caught myself once.
It's like, Oh shoot.
I really can't, I cannot click start.
So anyway, at least it's a woman.
So it was, and you can delete, you can delete those things though.
I've had to delete many.
So, yeah, but anyway, so it's good to see everybody.
I think I missed something, but I promise I'm not being creepy.
I like that.
So let's see here.
Um, did, uh, anyone have anything that they wanted to start out with?
But I, we've got, we've got some stuff that I was going to, um, you know, expound
on, you know, that, that Carrie had had in her post, by the way, Carrie, I greatly,
I guess we'll just start with that.
Um, I, um, and then everyone can save there's for later for afterwards.
Maybe this will prompt and start the conversation.
I carry, I can't tell you how much I appreciated you posting that because,
um, uh, it, I wanted, I wanted those, uh, those types of posts.
I wanted people to understand that those types of posts are very welcome
in the group because it's just, it's, it's from a place of, Hey, look, this
is what it is that I believe, and this is what I'm shifting into.
And yet there was this issue and I am really struggling on this one or whatever.
And because that's where the rubber meets the road that it's in is when people are
very honest, whether they're in the, uh, whether they're in a, in, in usually
they're the most honest in my private sessions with them when people are very
honest and they get very honest answers that they can actually, that are actually.
You know, rubber meets the road applicable as opposed to nice theoretical jargon.
That all sounds wonderful, but we don't understand how that can act, how we can
trust that enough in real life, you know, where it counts.
And so on the really difficult things, it all sounds nice.
You know, like, like, like preaching sounds great in church.
And then we go home.
And then, um, our, you know, uh, a parent of ours is, um, is, uh, you know, has
passed away or, you know, um, a friend of ours has betrayed us on Facebook, you
know, for all the world to see, or, you know, I mean, this is, this is real life
and the word wants us to understand that we have freedom in realness as opposed
to thinking, okay, well, Christianity is this great thing that we, that's just
this crutch, you know, a relationship with God is, is fully sustaining.
I mean, to the point where I get to such a point, we don't even have to eat.
I mean, it's, it's like so sustaining, so it can, it can help us in these moments.
So anyway, I really appreciated you being honest.
and in taking the time to share that with everyone
because then we can all benefit.
And it was just something that just needed to be addressed
because yeah, what do you do when hope is deferred?
Because if you've gotten to the point
where you actually stepped out with the Lord,
you're like, you're afraid, afraid, afraid.
And then you step out with the Lord
and oh my goodness, he comes through.
And then you step out with the Lord again,
very cautiously and he comes through.
All of those are the nice stories.
What about when you do it?
And this is what I've been trying to be careful
to kind of like warn everybody about
that these types of things can happen.
But I was like, yeah, but I don't want to scare everybody.
So periodically, I'd like remind people
or just kind of like throw out a little gentle wind.
Oh yeah, well, you know, it doesn't.
Sometimes, because I knew one day it's gonna come
and everybody's gonna be like, how on earth does this fit in?
I'm like, this is exactly where it fits in.
So, yeah, things haven't gone off the rails.
Everything's still where it needs to be.
So I'm glad that you brought it up
so that we could address it.
There's nothing to be afraid of.
There's not like, oh, well, you know, these principles,
these principles work until they just don't.
Nope, they always work, always.
So I wanted to mention, first of all,
I liked how you drew the relationship between the fact that,
yes, what it is, the way that we've grown up,
the way our parents believe things,
the way that we were raised,
the things that you said that the environment
that you felt that you grew up in,
emotionally with your dad is the way,
or it can be with our mom as well,
is how we then believe that God is.
And so I thought it was very insightful
that you understood that, yes, this is how I view the Lord,
that my feelings don't matter,
that I don't have value,
and that what it is that I want isn't important,
and I always need to stifle it,
that my dreams are not safe with other people,
and they're not safe with the Lord,
that I just, just because I want it
doesn't mean that I can't have it.
In fact, you can go so far as the way that I did,
whereas if I want it, that means I can't have it.
So I learned to not want anything.
Don't want it, don't expect it, don't desire it,
and it's very, and that can just happen
with all of the disappointment,
and you just think, okay, it's just,
God just doesn't desire it to be.
So I wanted to, wanted to encourage you
that God is a safe,
wants you to know that,
and you can search this in your spirit,
God wants you to know that he is a safe place
in which you can dream.
And yes, right now, where the hope is deferred,
and you wanted something,
and it sounds like the answer's no,
I'm not saying that it's no,
I'm saying that's how the feelings are responding,
is it's like no, or even if not,
or even if it's a not right now,
it still feels like a no,
it's like, because it still hurts,
and he wants you to know that he's a safe place,
he's a safe place, in other words, you're in him,
and he's a safe place for you to be inside of and dream.
And he's also a safe place to dream with,
like, you know, like your husband is,
so he's a, God is a safe person to dream with.
So he's the safe place to dream in,
and a safe person to dream with,
and you don't have to, you don't have to worry
that this situation is such that,
well, my, that I can't dream,
or that it means something bad, or selfish,
or something, if I desire something,
because what if it's not God's will, and all of that,
and all of that's just, and it's just wrong,
that we can't, that we can't dream, we can't want,
so he's a safe place in which to do that.
And I was talking to somebody about this today,
it's kind of like, you know, God,
like, we provide children the opportunity to play,
and I've mentioned this before, opportunity to play,
say, for instance, like with a stuffed animal,
where they're dressing a stuffed elephant up in a dress.
And, you know,
Well, that doesn't make any sense in the real world. And yet it's no problem. We all understand for children to for a child to learn how to interact with this world by playing like that and doing something that's nonsensical.
Well, God provides us with safe environments in which to dream and play around like that in in him like, oh, well, I wonder if, wouldn't it be me. Yeah.
So don't think that we also have to be careful of so careful about our dreams that they have to be realistic. They have to make sense. I mean, realistic, whatever term we
Decided realistic means has to make sense. It has to be God's will. I've got to make sure before I dream this thing before I think of all the possibilities.
That this really does fall in line with something that might potentially be God's will know you're just, it's a it's kind of like what the in software development, they refer to as a sandbox.
Where you can build something that you can build this virtual infrastructure with all of these connections in a virtual sandbox.
And where all of these things happen is this this exact same way as they would in real time. I mean, if in the real thing outside of the sandbox in the real
With all the real cloud connections to the servers to the to the to the to the app to Facebook to whatever it is that the thing is connected to
In a sandbox that operates in the same way as it does out in the real world, but developers will develop it and test it in the sandbox.
And and without it having the potential of corrupting and messing up anything that's going on in real in the real server in the real cloud in the whatever and then eventually with you. Once you test it, you push it was called you push it to production.
And then, and then make it real. So when we're dreaming and thinking of things with the Lord.
We're like children who are playing with stuff, you know, stuffed animals and doing wild and crazy things and making and making the bear the daddy
And this little and our little bunny rabbit. The mommy and we're doing it doesn't make any sense in the real world.
And yet there's nothing wrong with it. And it's actually very beneficial for development. It's the same thing with dreams.
You know, dreaming things and whatever with the Lord. So I'm taking this bit further than what we're that we're necessarily talking about here and addressing this because yours is a very real and and and legitimate
Dream I'm talking about dreams are so safe with God that you can go this far with it.
They do not have to even make sense. See what you're talking about. We can all of us.
Think that that totally makes sense. And we can totally all see God doing that. But then, so understand that it doesn't even have to be the that point. God is that safe to dream with
You're just, you're thinking of things and he's your father and you're just playing around with ideas and you're desiring things and oh this is fun. And, you know, what about this. What if we did this
What do you think about this Lord. We're not talking about living in this fantasy world where we're not living in reality, like, oh, I'm just going to live here because this is, you know, in a state of
I don't know in dreamland where I just sit around like dreaming all day instead of just enjoying real life. I'm not talking about that. But I am talking about the fact that
That it's okay to to dream to the point. God is so safe that it doesn't even have to be. You don't have to qualify it before you're allowed to start dreaming it
You're not, you don't have to qualify yet first, whether or not this is God's will.
Or whether or not it's I can see that this fits into reality of who it is that I got. I know God is because sometimes it's when you dream that God begins to reveal himself to be bigger.
Than we knew that he was and we dreamed it first thinking we were playing around. Wouldn't it be nice if
And he begins to reveal to our spirit and uses that as a trigger that to reveal to us. He actually is that big. But if we hadn't allowed ourselves to understand that he was that safe of a place to dream in unrealistically, we wouldn't have
We wouldn't have been triggered and revealed to you by the Lord that
That he had that he was that limitless and that he was something that beyond a boundary that we had previously created for him that he's like, No, I'm actually out here. We dreamed out there and God showed up out there.
If we didn't dream out there. We didn't even know he was out there because we put up this boundary of how we were going to see God.
Anyway, so I just wanted to expound on the whole thing about about how safe the Lord is.
So what it is that we're experiencing when we're like,
okay, I'm following you, Lord.
I'm stepping out in faith.
I'm actually looking at properties.
Not only am I dreaming, I'm actually looking at properties
and following my spirit, things feel alive.
I feel at peace.
Everything feels right.
It's like this domino effect of all of these things
that shouldn't have happened,
that shouldn't have been allowed to happen.
Like they weren't even going to, normally,
we thought that we weren't gonna have money.
And then our father surprised us with saying,
hey, I want to offer you this.
Oh my goodness, I didn't expect that to come down the pipe.
A few days after you and I talked about this
is when he did it.
Then you go out and find a property and you're like,
oh my word, everything is just perfect.
And you're like, that wasn't supposed to happen.
Then they're not supposed to show you the place.
And then they show you the place.
And it's just one thing right after another.
And of course, Amy has got a story like this as well,
specifically about a house.
So all of these things, we're like, oh my goodness,
it just looks like it's just going through.
Everything's wonderful, perfect.
And all of a sudden it doesn't happen.
And so we, and then we can get to the point,
like what you explained of like,
it feels like I'd rather that it hadn't happened at all
than for it to get this far and still be no.
So again, it's that part of like dreaming with God.
And the fact that the point,
you remember when we talked in,
when we talked to the live probably, I don't know,
like a month or two ago,
where I talked about business that once you get a goal,
you get a direction, but the point isn't the goal.
And immediately you have to get rid of the goal
in order to allow ourselves to be guided by the Lord.
It just gives us direction to start out in.
And then we just keep going.
The point is the journey with the Lord.
It's not the destination.
It doesn't mean that you won't get to the destination,
but it means that the destination is never the point.
You might get it, but it's not ever the point.
And if we think that it's the point,
then it causes us to not even be able
to appreciate the beautiful thing that happened
and how fun that was and the journey and the whatever.
And you never know, they might call you tomorrow
and just like, you know what, we rethought this.
So I'm not saying that, oh, this means, by the way,
that that thing's not going to happen
and you just need to be okay with that.
I'm not saying that.
I'm saying that we have to shift our perspective
of enjoying the journey and letting go of the goal.
Doesn't mean that the goal won't happen.
It means we have to let go of our stranglehold on it
because here's what it is.
We're holding God accountable to it.
Like, you didn't do this.
I did all of this, Lord.
I was following you faith.
I was vulnerable.
You didn't come through.
So it reveals an accusation that we have against the Lord.
That's what these things reveal.
It's not understand God's maliciousness of like,
I'm going to take them through all of this
just to show them something ugly.
No, God doesn't do that.
That's how I was taught growing up,
that the purpose of seeing like that of this
is for the ugliness that was supposed to be revealed in us.
And that is absolute, a flat out lie from Satan himself.
It is not true.
What God wants to show you
is that you're actually have an opportunity
to live in more freedom than you are
because whenever we get to a point and we're just like,
oh my word, I feel such heaviness now,
such disappointment, such whatever.
God's like, yeah, see that right there?
You've always lived with that.
And I want you to know, you don't have to live with that.
You don't have to be that way to down.
You don't have to whatever.
I actually have more freedom.
So step into the more freedom
as opposed to continuing to live like that.
Can feel like continuing to live
with that underlying oppressiveness
or that underlying disappointment
that only raises its ugly head,
ugly head meaning like how it makes us feel.
It just kind of makes us just feel awful inside
whenever things like this happen.
So the point isn't to say, hey, by the way,
I want you to know that this is there and this is a problem
and I want you to feel bad about it
so that we can deal with it.
It's not, God's like, you see this?
This is something that you're carrying
that you don't have to carry.
But until, no pun intended on your name,
but that you don't have to carry.
So that's what it is that he wants to show
is the freedom that we have to.
step into that we don't realize that under the surface we're not we're not living in and yes
it's very difficult it's difficult to shift from where you know what you've been feeling into what
I've been talking about it so it's a choice that we make because it doesn't feel like it because
everything up to this point in our lives has told us that that we look to what happens as the
evidence of something of some lesson we're supposed to learn like okay did it work out no see god
didn't want it you know you heard him wrong you had faith in the wrong thing you had faith in
something that he didn't tell you you know that you could have faith in or whatever we we we
decide that it means all kinds of things and um and and and that's not true god wants to just say
no no you're under a weight and like oh you know you don't have to live under this weight you've
been carrying this weight the whole time you just didn't see it until now so now that you know that
you have it you don't now get rid of it and then you don't even have it underlying the uh in other
areas of your life um so choose to use just like you know choose to uh release it just let go like
what is happening again what we always go back to whatever's happening shouldn't happen whatever is
going on shouldn't be um it should be different than what it is just release that you're not
releasing your hope uh and like letting it go it's like oh we're giving up or giving in to it
like well it's just the way that it is sometimes we don't get what we want it was like i'll accept
it lord that god doesn't want us to do that he just wants us to let go of our stranglehold on it
is if we have this right and this sense of entitlement to something and often we'll make
it real spiritual like god you said it's very interesting um adam you know adam had those
attested accusations against god and so many other people you know in the bible you know have
point blank uh stories exampling the fact that we that we do that god you said um you put me in this
position adam said um you know uh god god asked adam you know well who told you that you were
naked well it's the woman that you gave to me and so that carries over he's not the only one
who accuses god of that we all do you know you did this you told me i could trust you
um you told me i could dream with you everything worked out fine until it didn't you you know so
and and there's this accusation gotten to god we feel abandoned we felt i was vulnerable and it's
now been proven that i'm alone it's now been proven i went all of this way expecting you to
be there and i found myself alone and that's what it felt like um so and it's that accusation you
know against the lord and that's what it is that we believe it's not our hope and it's not a dream
that god wants us to let go of when i kept so when i kept saying we need to let go of it it's not
it's not the dream we have to let go of it's our right and our sense of entitlement to it and our
this accusation that we're holding up against holding to god that he didn't meet or measure up
or whatever because we feel that i'm abandoned and i'm alone um so um see if there was anything
else that i wrote down there's a lot more i could say about that but um uh but yeah
um the all i just wanted to just mention that it's all indicative of something good
not of the fact that oh well see this just shows that i'm just i haven't learned i'm unshifted i
still run into these situations i still feel like this i thought i'd come so far and i thought i'd
learn so much god's like you have this is a new area of freedom don't you want to be free this
much um and uh so and and trust me i know oh well what it is like to be in those situations because
i'm still in them uh on days that i get on here and y'all have no idea that i've been battling
something i was like lord just like this hurts i trusted you i thought you know whatever it is
and i was like oh i've got accusation against the lord but lord i know i'm you just sit down
and how i shipped out of it and he's like actually just let go let go release whatever
i'm fully aware of having to walk all of this out very big things
you know, decade-full dreams, having a house, doing this, doing that. So, anyway,
does that all make sense? Or do you have any questions?
No, that makes a lot of sense. I liked a lot what you said about having, like, when we put such a,
we put such an expectation on the end result that it makes that we can't even enjoy the journey
with the Lord. And that is what happened. I mean, like, I can't even, it just takes the joy away
from how much he already had provided in the situation. Just the fact that as of now, you know,
it doesn't look like we'll be getting that property. But it seemed like, you know, it
totally diminished everything he did up to that point. But it makes a lot of sense what you were
saying, too. It's not necessarily about the end destination or the end of everything, you know,
because when we hold that to, when we hold God accountable to that, then it takes the joy out
of being on the journey with him. So that makes a lot of, that really resonates with me. And
especially, too, with what you were saying about releasing the death grip on it, but still allowing
you to dream. I was thinking about that today. I was like, how can I, I can't, I can't not dream.
Like, I can't shut down that part of me again. But how do I hold on to it enough? Or like,
how do I let it express itself without being like, okay, it's showdown time now. You better give it
to me or else you're toast, God. You know what I mean? Like, how do you hold on to it and let it
go at the same time? But yeah, that does make a lot of sense. Yeah. Because you're not letting go
of it. You're letting go of God's, you're holding God accountable and obligated to come through
exactly X way. So what he wants to reveal to you is he wants to actually not just know how much
you're loved. He wants to love you. And we have to love us. Sometimes it is hard for us to allow
ourselves to be loved. So it's more than just knowing that we're loved and knowing that he's
good. We have to do it. And he will do it in the way that he's, that according to his character,
we can't determine, no, the only way I want to be loved is, and the only way that I will receive
love is if you do it like this. And, and God, and, and I said, Isaiah that talk, Isaiah, Jeremiah,
talks about the potter and the clay says, well, the clay can't say to the potter,
you know, I went to, it's a potter's choice. And so, but, but from a very loving, from a very
loving perspective, you know, it's like, well, how does he want to love you? Again, not tell you that
you're loved. So it's strictly so that you know, that you're loved because there's all that as well,
but actually be loved. And otherwise we're in a state of resistance when he's like,
I'm trying to love you. You're not, you're not happy. Why aren't you happy? I'm loving on you.
This is a good thing. And so with that whole thing of, of the dreams, you know, like how
you hold on to it, let it go. You, you, what your, what your expectation should always be
is in God, not in the thing. For instance, let's talk about this in a relationship,
because for some reason it just sounds easier in a relationship. I mean, to explain this in
a relationship perspective. Okay. Let's say for instance, there's something that let's just let,
let's throw this out there. Let's say that somebody wants to that somebody doesn't feel
loved by their husband and they want to feel loved by their husbands and, or say that their husband
loves them, but they don't feel loved. There you go. And they're just like, I'm just struggling.
You know, I just don't feel it. He, the way he expresses it just doesn't, it's just harsh,
just a guy. And he doesn't understand. Well, so if we pray to the Lord about it,
our expectation needs to be on the Lord that we will receive love for our husband, like say that
we will be able to receive love from our husband. Because say for instance, that God gave you a
promise, our promise that our, our, um, our expectation needs to be in the fact that the
Lord promised us, or our expectation needs to be in the Lord, not constantly waiting for it. You
know, looking into our husband, like, well, God said, and I'm waiting. And it, our eyes should
not be on the husband and, and holding our husband and our expectations shouldn't be on the husband.
It should be on the one who promised us. So the same thing for, for like, uh, for like the house,
the expectations shouldn't be on the thing that we want and on the dream. It should be.
the one who promised us the dream. And I don't mean that he promised you a house directly,
I mean that he promised to give you good things. He promised to love on you. He promised to take
care of you, to provide for you, protect you, make you feel loved, to love on you. And so if
we keep our eyes on the Lord and keep our expectation on him to fulfill the promise,
as opposed to the thing, because the thing didn't promise us, God did. So our expectation should be
on that and we shouldn't look to the outside and wait for it to manifest. And before,
and wait for it to manifest in that. So does that make sense? We should have our expectation
on the Lord, on the one who promised us, as opposed to the thing that he said would come.
I hope that I'm explaining that well. Did I explain it in a way that you understood or not?
Not for. Yeah, no, that makes sense. I totally get what you're saying.
Okay, so you get what I'm saying. Amy doesn't. Let me give another example.
Okay, here's a good example. Say, for instance, that the Lord promised that,
um, let's see here. Okay. Say that the Lord promised you, uh, told you ahead of time that
you were going to marry somebody. The Lord promised you that. So the person didn't tell
you that they were, that didn't, you know, tell you that they were going to marry you.
They have no idea, but God did. So who's your expectation on? Because a friend of mine is
going through this. She believes that God has given her a, um, has told her, um, who she's
going to marry. And, but she doesn't know whether or not he's told the guy that, and the guy
absolutely has not pursued her. And she's just like, oh, wow, this is a challenging situation.
So what she does is she does not put her expectations on the guy and like waiting for
him. Okay. Well, when's he going to start pursuing him? Is he calling me? Does he,
does he look at me? Does he pay me attention to see whatever is trying to pull for signs.
What she does is she says, my expectation is on the Lord because it's the Lord who promised me
that the Lord is the one who promised that such and such would happen in such and such would be
fulfilled. So my expectation, I'm constantly looking to the Lord for not looking at physical
evidence and expecting it from that is I'm pulling it from creation. I'm pulling it from
the dream. I'm pulling it. Lord, you, you know, I'm looking at this and I'm expecting this to
happen. Lord, you know, why, why? But we're, we're continuing to look at this. We need to
stop looking at this like God promised. So therefore my, my, um, my expectation is in the
Lord. Um, does that, does that help Amy?
Uh, kind of, it's funny you said that because, but there's just that very situation in, um,
my life, not for me, but for somebody in my life. And, uh, I was going to ask you about that.
Oh, okay. Yeah. Um, so yeah, that's interesting. I, I still can't quite,
so focus on the Lord and that his word that is, he's faithful. And I've actually gotten to the
point where, um, like because of this past that, um, it's kind of like that house in Arkansas.
I know I was supposed to go up there and look at it, but it doesn't matter to me that I'm,
you know, not, I didn't have my heart set on that. It was just like, I don't know,
we're doing God. I feel like you want me to go up here. And so it didn't like, I didn't,
I wasn't, it wasn't like Carrie's thing where she had a specific screen and it looked like
it was coming for, but, but yeah, so, but I do, I do have something else in my life similar
and actually Carrier's story today helped me kind of sort through it. Um, because I've been
asking the Lord to help me pay off debt for a long time, probably two years in the natural,
like there is no progress, but then I, you know, what my, my thing that comes up is,
oh, he hasn't done it. So I don't deserve it. That's my thing. I always doubt my own
worthiness of God coming through. But then after reading Carrie's, um, testimony, and I was
thinking it's easier to think through somebody else's situation than your own, you know,
cause you don't have that emotional attachment. And so it really helped me, Carrie, thank you
for sharing that because I started thinking about it and I was like, oh, I.
have my expectation on the outcome that the debt being paid off and it just
dawned on me today that um well of course the Lord will answer
that prayer and he's actually working on it even though I
don't see it yet you know that there he
he hears my prayer and he is answering I don't know what that's going to look
like but I did realize that I had uh my own expectation of what how that
would happen when it would happen all that kind of
stuff and so um as I thought through Terry's situation I
thought well just because it doesn't look like it
you know in the natural right now doesn't mean that God
is done with that whole situation and so then I started thinking about oh what
about you Amy what things are you thinking God let you
down on I was like oh my debt yeah and I was like yeah of course he's
working on it of course he has a plan of course he wants to pay off my debt so
he wants me to pay it off I mean you know it's like okay and it just
really gave me a lot of freedom to be able to to release it to him and go
okay God you know like that like you said I had
that feeling that shift of like I'm just gonna go play because I know
you're working on it you're the dad and so that was so thanks for sharing
that Terry it helped me a lot and yes I I kind of I I do get what you're
talking about now I do get I do get it yeah okay yeah I I and
while you were talking there must have been something that you said that made
me uh uh that made me think of hopefully a
better more succinct way to explain it I mean to phrase it and that is that our
expectation needs to be on the one he promised not on what he
promised to fulfill it needs to be on the one he promised and
because what he's trying to prove is he's always trying to prove his
character the point isn't the manifestation the
point is what it is manifesting it's manifesting his faithfulness it's
manifesting his promise it's manifesting his love his goodness is whatever
it's not on the manifestation of it because he can manifest it in a bunch of
different ways it's what that thing represents that's
the whole point that's what makes the house so precious it's what makes the
promise so precious it's what it's whatever um and uh oh case in
point okay so this is it this is an example
um a uh my uh my friend who was talking to me about this this guy
that she believes the lord has told her to marry
um so she she said you know ashley my expectation is on the lord to the point
where she said if she said because that guy has free
will she said what if he makes makes a choice
and i'm not his choice and um and she said that does not mean
that god was not right and that god's promise was wrong or whatever she said
he will always upgrade and he will always um
he uh what was the other way that she worded it
she said he will um uh that that the point
is the is um she and i were talking about the fact that the point is the
journey with the lord and what it is that he is proving about
himself in the situation not in how the situation turned out so she
said it can be someone else
she said that i end up marrying she said it
doesn't matter it doesn't affect god's promise it doesn't affect
the fact that he will fulfill what he said that he'll fulfill
it doesn't have to work out exactly x y and z way
in order for him to be right and so she's
she's let go so much of the outcome that she said
it doesn't even have to be him in order for
it's that much of an expectation on the one who promised as opposed to the
manifestation it's that much it's that serious that
drastic that focused on him not focused on this
one at all yeah i finally got to that point in the
situation in my life like that it was like it
didn't matter because i had to sort through that whole
thing about free will and other people's wills and
you know trying to figure out who's got it over why or what is it and i thought
you know what i know his plans are always good for
his children and so like you said it doesn't have to
be that one yeah yeah exactly and another case in
point and you remember how you talked there were so many trees in
the garden so many options it was like joy the
knowledge of good and evil so why do we think that well lord it can only happen
like this that's just like no it can happen a
whole bunch of different ways i didn't promise this i promised my
character i promised my love i promised my
faithfulness i promised like goodness and why does it have to end up like this
he's like do you know how many trees i created
so anyway
He does want to, if we abide in him, he says,
he's the one who said this,
that we can hold him accountable to,
that he will give us the desires of our heart.
If we abide in him and we ask him from the Father's heart,
from being one with him,
Christ says, you know, you ask and you will receive it,
and I will give you the desires of your heart.
What we've confused is what the desires of our heart are.
We think it's a house or it's a spouse or it's a whatever.
And that's actually, God's like,
no, that's actually not your desire.
That's how you've interpreted your desire to be.
If you had to create an object out of your desire,
you thought that it formed this object.
And God's like, no, that's not actually what you want.
But so it limits him far too much.
So anyway, I just kind of,
it doesn't mean that it's not going to be a house.
I'm just trying to like show how good he is
and show like the context of it,
that often if there are specific things
that are on our hearts that have particular,
that form a particular picture,
he often does manifest like that,
but that's not the point.
So anyway, he just,
it's constantly about more freedom
that we can live and move in him.
So did I answer it all, Carrie?
Yeah, the one thing I was thinking about
was I was thinking back to my garden and stuff
and thinking about how in the beginning,
like literally, I mean,
God basically made my garden, you know?
And then when it all was said and done,
it was like the whole universe
was against me having that garden.
So I was like, okay, well,
the Lord just has to be better in mind for me.
And I'm wondering, like,
is that just a coping mechanism
or is that actually true?
Because sometimes I feel like I,
whenever something doesn't work out,
I'm like, oh, well, I just have to be better.
You know, you just have to be better.
And that's, you know,
that's just how I cope with something.
And that was what,
how my question tied into
the whole prosperity gospel thing.
Is there always just something better around the corner
or like sometimes the Lord just doesn't come through
or is it like,
I'd like your perspective on that.
But yeah, if my question makes sense.
Yes, it does.
And I-
Does that make sense?
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah, I just forgotten that that was part of it.
That you, that yes.
I immediately, when you said that,
I was like, oh, coping mechanism.
We all do it.
I told myself that my whole life,
like, well, God went something better.
It's what we just do to tell ourselves
and make ourselves feel better.
There is a truth in it,
but what we don't under,
what we don't understand is
it's not dealing with the root issue
that we're still holding the Lord accountable to it.
But we're just telling ourselves,
you know, just like this band-aid.
Oh, well, you know, let's be real spiritual.
God went something better.
But we don't really believe it.
At least I haven't.
I'm just saying that,
but it sounds really spiritual in a Bible study,
but I don't actually.
My heart still hurts.
Apparently, I don't believe it.
So it is a coping mechanism usually.
However, it is actually true
in the fact that, yes, God does still have,
God does always have something better for us.
But it's not, okay, how would I, how would I read this?
He wants to always manifest, okay, how would I read this?
It just doesn't always manifest the way that we expect.
Because again, we've confused the desires of our hearts,
the true desires of our heart,
with the fact that it has to work out exactly like this
in order for it to meet my desire.
And God's like, no, it doesn't.
It's like, I know what it is you really want,
and this won't meet it.
Also, it can be that he's,
there's been a greater desire,
and I feel like I'm getting a little complicated here,
but it's true, but I'm just like,
I'm trying to give you a simple answer,
but I think I just like making it a little more complicated.
But also there can be a greater desire of our hearts
that he's trying to meet,
that this thing here will actually,
will actually not allow this one to manifest.
And so it's like, no, no, no,
you actually really wanted this one,
so I'm trying to help you get that one.
So it's just that we don't understand
when he's wanting to reveal his love and his goodness,
we can't determine, case in point,
we chose the tree of the knowledge of good and evil,
and there's all these trees in the garden.
We can't determine and unlimit
how God reveals his goodness and love.
Like, oh, well, God, if you reveal it like this,
that means you love me.
And if you reveal it like any other,
way, you don't love me. And God's like, no, no, the whole point is me loving you. So you don't get,
you don't know enough. You don't know as much as I do about how, uh, how you can know that you're
loved by me and feel loved by me. Um, so that's what it is. Um, it's, it's, uh, it's not, God's
not, um, so there is an element of, you know, it's, it's always, there's always something better,
but it's from the aspect of the desires of our heart, what it is that he's, how he's maturing
us. He's always moving us to the greater freedom. And that wouldn't give us the greater freedom
that he, so it is that, but it's, it's not just simply, well, bigger or something. Yeah. Yeah.
That makes sense. Um, Oh yeah. What Priscilla said sounds like my four-year-old mom. If you
don't let me chew gum, then you don't love me. Exactly. We have, we, we did, we, we created,
we defined a world in which we're forcing God to fit into. We've created this world. This is how
it works. These are all the laws and the rules, and God got to fit in this tiny box. And God's
like, no, it's not how it works. So, um, is it's not, he's, like I said, everything he does is
always for goodness and for love. And it's us learning to speak his language, not insisting
that he speak ours. Case in point, interesting point to bring up about the five love languages.
People talk about, you know, how beneficial it is for the five language to understand the five
love languages, you know, time, uh, words of affirmation, all that good stuff. Problem is
when we, when we put focus on those things, it's like, okay, well, this is my love language and
everybody needs to learn it. And, um, and, uh, I just need, and I can accept the fact that this
is how I feel loved. And if somebody does something different, well, then that's just their problem.
And they just, and they just need to change. They need to fix it. My husband needs to do
it differently and he needs to read the book so that he can know and understand and accept
the fact that this is how it works. Or, you know, my wife or whatever that we all laugh and that's
what we do. So, and, and, um, I've got, I had, um, I have a, um, a, uh, a friend that.
What did they say? They, they, their love language was gifts. And they said that if people did not
give them a gift that they, that they liked, they felt unloved because the way they interpreted it
was they don't know me. So whenever I would give gifts to this person, I got to the point where I
had to ask them what they wanted, because I felt so pressured that every time I gave them a gift,
they didn't accept the fact that this is me giving a part of myself to them because to them, it's
like, no, no, no, it has nothing whatsoever to do with you. It has everything whatsoever to do with
me. Who's receiving it. And by what it is that you choose to give me, it determines whether or not
I will accept, I will believe. And I will accept you because you, you love me in the way that I
want to be loved or reject you because I don't feel loved. It made no sense, none whatsoever.
And so anyway, that's what we can sometimes do with those, those, uh, five, those, uh, five
love languages where we're just like, okay, this is my world. I define it. You've got to fit in it
as opposed to, no, no, no. If we love somebody, we need to understand that the love that they
give us has everything whatsoever to do with saying, to, to say about them. It doesn't say
anything about us. So when God loves us, it's all about it. It's always talking about him,
not talking about us, not talking about whether, whether, you know, we deserve it,
whether, um, you know, whatever we don't define how we're loved,
how we're loved is, is defined by his character. So that's a bit narcissistic.
Well, they were just wounded is all it was. It was so wounded and, and they, like a, like a
animal in a corner came out fighting finally hit at a, a, um, uh, their limits and just like,
I deserve better than this people. And they came out like that. They came out,
they came out swinging. They were, they would just take it and take it and take it over the years.
And finally, when they came out, it was ugly. And so it was, it's just, it's just hurt. They had
healed so much since then, but, um, yeah, anyway. So, um, I even saw them more turn one time,
a gift to someone that they had, that that person had just given them about.
An hour earlier and asked for a receipt back and said, you know what, this really isn't something I like. Can I have the receipt. So I can go back and get something that I like.
This is an adult.
Oh,
So they're just stood there in silence thinking I'm sorry for that other person. I have their feelings aren't to her. They were. But of course, they handled it very graciously because in the south, you hold your feelings.
Absolutely, absolutely. I will get that for you.
So, but it's just, it's just wounding. We all have our thing it out with that person. So, and I just wanted to point that out because love is all about in the gifts that God gives us house a spouse and I'm not trying to rhyme.
Whatever those two examples that we were talking about houses and stuff.
They, it all is a reflection of God's character and we have to allow ourselves to be loved. We don't get to determine the
The conditions under which we're left it because it has nothing. It doesn't say anything about us. It's, it's everything about him. So we have to stop and listen. My lover is talking to me.
How is he communicating to what is he telling me about himself. How is he trying to love me and we need to learn to to speak the lover's language as opposed to insisting that he speak ours. So, yeah, case in point, the whole pipeline love languages thing.
So, I
See Priscilla had talked about something.
She'd asked me and then she said that I could that I could address it. Okay, so the
Business. She and I were talking about business leadership earlier today. And so I just wanted to kind of go over that again is just, you know, if we if we ever feel like we're not doing enough.
And so I just wanted to kind of go over that again is just, you know, if we, if we ever feel like we are and
If we're if we're trying to provide leadership. Again, this goes for anybody who needs leadership. It doesn't even have to be business.
It's that we have to work on ourselves first and that is not a bad thing. It's not like, oh, I have to work on myself. It's that we have to put on our own oxygen mask.
So we we have permission to to stand in into focus on standing in more freedom and understand that we are as wonderful.
And as as lovable as God declares that we are. And then from that point, we will have what others need as opposed to thinking, you know,
And I don't know, whatever it is that we could be thinking like, oh, what if I'm not doing this right and I feel like I'm not meeting their needs and I feel like I'm whatever
And because I don't know what personal situation is, but she was just talking about business leadership. So I'm just making up examples of stuff that I've heard from clients over the years or stuff that I felt
Oh, I don't know if I'm giving them what they need. And what if they need more for me. And how can I support them and whatever they need us to be who we are. They need us to stand in who it is that we are.
And then we can give them what they need, because if we don't have it. We can't give it so
Anyway, I felt like there's more that I could say about that. But for whatever. So, so, so you can tell me whether whether or not that that answers the question in extension of what I talked about in the
In the, what was that session 13 or 14 where I talked about business leadership, but that's really what it is, is we don't have to worry that other something I have to drum up in order to give somebody something I have to
Work really hard and learn all this business management and, you know, learn everybody's personalities and have them take the Myers-Briggs so I can. Okay, I need to talk to them like this and
No, no, it's just us knowing who it is that we are and asking the Lord to reveal to us who it is that they are. And I don't mean them specifically. They're like their personality. I just mean, Lord.
I need to see myself like this. If you see yourself like this. So that's really what you need to do. So forget what I said about the other because that even though it's true, it can just add complication. All you have to do is ask the Lord to show you who you show you who you are. Oh, hey, rather than
Oh, hey, rather than
To show us who who we are. And when we know who we are. We see everybody else the same way. I no longer have to think about it.
The only time that I have to think about and remember who it is that I am when I'm interacting with someone else is if I is it for whatever reason I feel intimidated by them or
Oh, well, last time they said that hurtful thing to me. And, you know, I was very vulnerable and I'm coming
very protected, you know, my walls up and then I don't remember who it is that I
am. And then I have a difficult time seeing them for who they, for who they are.
So that's the only time that I struggle. I have to think, who, you know,
Lord, I can't see them. You know, who have you made them to be?
All I have to know is who I am. And if I know who I am,
my spirit sees in the spirit realm and my spirit sees the other person.
My spirit doesn't have to work for it or find it.
My soul doesn't know things, but my spirit knows everything.
So once I know, once I moved to that place in the spirit, I ought,
I automatically always, without thinking about it, see who that other person is.
I don't even have to ask the Lord to reveal to me always, you know,
who that other person is. Sometimes I do, there's nothing wrong with it.
But I think I was asking that again today for someone, you know, Oh Lord,
you know, you know,
show me because what was happening was I was building up some walls with someone
like, Oh, I was feeling vulnerable and building all of that up.
So I thought, okay, Lord, you know, show me who they are.
But really what it is is if I just ask Lord, okay, remind me who I am.
And I will choose to stand in that place.
And then I will automatically see everyone else because I'm seeing into the
spirit realm and the spirit realm sees everybody else's spirit.
So in the, you'll naturally interact with that person.
You'll naturally talk to that person and they'll rise to that position.
And that's naturally what it is that they need.
They don't need strategies and tactics and all of that.
Nothing wrong with giving them that what they need is they need,
they need to be loved again, just like what we're talking about with the Lord.
It's not just that we need to know that we're loved and they don't just need to
know that they're loved. They need to actually be loved.
So we have to love them. That's what it is that we do with people.
We don't give them something like tips or strategies or what is it that they're
asking for? Love them, value them.
Don't help them know they're loved or help them know that they're valued or help
them know, love them, value them.
Then they'll have what it is that they need as opposed to giving them something
more that they need or trying to make sure that they know something about
themselves. Just give it to them of yourself, love them, value them,
support them. Don't abandon them. That kind of thing.
As opposed to how do I make them feel that they are?
How do I get them to know that they are? How do I just give it to them?
Like what we were talking about with the whole Black Lives Matter and the whole
thing about where God says, don't just send somebody away who's hungry,
you know, and needs clothes and, you know, needs to be warm.
Said, Oh, you know, may the Lord bless you. And you know, you know,
may you be warm. You know, I'm with you. I'm speaking kindly.
I'm speaking to your lap. He says, feed them.
Give them something. Do it. Don't help them know that they're, that they are.
No, give it. So does that,
does that help Priscilla or not? Or does that give you more of what?
Yeah, no, that helps. I think it's all, I don't know for me,
I feel like that's one of the like kind of slow going in that area.
I don't know if you can hear me. Okay. I think my,
my microphone on my iPhone is kind of weird, but yeah,
I feel like I'm slowly learning in the area of business.
Like I feel like I'm so scarred from being burned out that I have just like
avoid, avoid everything business right now.
But yeah, no, it gives me a lot to think about.
When you burnt out and I know this from personal experience,
you remember when the Lord called me back into business, I was like, no. And I,
and I dragged my feet for a year and a half because I was sober now. And finally,
I decided to trust him. It was, it was all in the soul. It was all,
I have to work for it because I don't have it. I have to struggle.
I have to strive. I have to find it. They, they,
they call me and I have to work really hard to be there, to be a good friend,
to do, to, to love them, to try to see who they are. It's all this work,
but if you just know who you are and you operate all that out of that place,
you do all of this stuff you were trying to do.
Only you do it effortlessly without thinking about it.
That's what the burnout is. And that's what all the heart is.
That's what, that's what the whole thing is.
Someone calls you on your phone and, and you, and you just,
and you feel like this rock sink down into your stomach and like head gum it,
you know, I really, I just, I can't talk to another person. Oh, here we go again.
I've got, I felt, you know, they're always really sweet to talk to,
but I'm dreading this phone call. It's, it's the, we think we have to work for it.
We think we have to give something we don't have and therefore we have to drum
it up. We don't trust ourselves. We don't see that this is who we are.
And so that's where all of that burnout is coming from.
Does that make sense?
Yeah, that makes sense. And yeah, I can totally,
totally relate to the whole rock in the, in the, yeah, rock in the stomach.
Like when there's phone call.
Exactly, exactly. And that was the best thing I could think of at the time. And trust me, if you give me a couple of minutes, I'd be able to think of better with you.
But, um, because now I don't dread it when when when contact when when clients can't contact me and whatever because I know I have what it is that they need because I me
That that's how I that's how I know it. I'm spirit and spirit knows all things. I have no idea what questions that y'all are going to
That y'all are going to present me on Marco Polo or on here. I answer all these questions. I can't prepare for this.
Me tonight. I had a couple of questions that shocked me. I was like, oh, I've got questions to come in with normally I get on. I'm like, I have no idea what y'all are going to come up with
And so I just come in. I'm like, okay, here I am. And I know that I have what it is that they need because what you need is spirit. You don't need my my
You don't need something that I drum up out of my soul. You need spirit and
I love talking to you.
It's like talking with everybody but and so just know that you that you have what you need. Priscilla, all of you do that talking very specifically to your Brazil, you have everything that you need and you need to you, you have permission by God, who created you and put you in this position to be able to trust yourself.
So, um, you're not something that is a problem that has to be put out of the way in order to give someone what they need from you. You are what they need.
And so just just answer the phone call. See what it is they they need don't work for it. Don't try for it. Don't try to think, okay, I hope I answered this question correctly.
Just speak from your heart, speak from your spirit. It doesn't have to even sound professional
Just talk to them and be real. And then they'll have what it is that they need. Give them your spirit and your spirit will transform them because the, the, it's the present. It's
The Spirit of God and coming to this presence of the Spirit of God that transforms people. So, and just just trust yourself. You remember
I like she's this example. You remember Elsa in Frozen 1 she was she was just operating and somewhere, somehow, she, you know, because of what happened with Ana, she thought that
That she that the good thing that she had that was what other people needed was actually a destructive thing. And so she did. And then suddenly, nobody could have what they needed from her.
Because she was lied to in her home mind that she couldn't be trusted.
And so, so anyway, just, just know that that you don't have to work for it. It's something that you have inside you. And when you talk, people will listen. When you talk, it will change their lives.
People will listen. When you talk, it will change their lives and you don't have to prepare for it. You don't have to have learned a business strategy, you just speak from your spirit and you speak from the heart.
So we can talk more about this, you know, if you've got if you come up with more questions.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Well, and I think that I actually need to go. But if y'all have any other questions that y'all wanted to discuss or talk about just feel free. I'm sorry to have to cut it off. I have someone that I've said was
That a friend that's going to call me. So I'm like, I'm going from one thing to another tonight. So I told them that it finished at nine. So I have to go. But if y'all have any questions, just feel free to put them in the group.
And it's a great place for me to just be able to answer them. Some of them I delayed until this meeting, just because
Just so that I would have more time to be able to flush that out because it was so important. And that if y'all have anything, just feel free to put them in the group. I can answer it there or I can or private message me and I can talk. So I love Marco Polo, by the way, for those of you on it. So
Anyway, well, good to see all of y'all.
Thank you.
Yeah, thank you.
Yeah, thank you, Ashley.
I see everyone again.
All right.
Right. Yeah.
Bye.