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You

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You

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You

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You

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You

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Hey

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Oh, yeah your very there we go

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Amy I didn't even know you were there. All I see is a picture

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Yeah, I'm here. I'm on mute and I'm fixing dinner for mine

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I'm listening. Hey to the kids. You weren't kidding

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Hey to Jonathan Joey

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What's that I said, hey to Jonathan and Joey hey Cheryl

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So it's a hey, hey Joey

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Oh

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Cheryl how are the chickens?

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They're getting so big

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Really? Oh, we met fine

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Yeah, so they're completely scared of us now now that they've been out outside for a couple of weeks, but they're a lot of fun

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That's great. Well, so what are their names?

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um

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Lacey Camille

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lightning bug

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honey

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Garfield and Gertrude

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I

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Love it. I love it. I had a friend who had chickens

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I one of them I never can remember one of them one of their names, but she's a lawyer and

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my friend is and

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she

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surprisingly, she's she's a

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Fairly liberal actually

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but I'm

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Yeah, which is so anyway, but I love her. Yeah, I you would be shocked. It's

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The people that I am friends that I am friends with does everybody.

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So anyway, so she, um, people who live, have all kinds of very interesting

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lifestyles, uh, but anyway, so, but she had, one of her chickens was named

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Margaret Thatcher, babysit Margaret Thatcher, when my friend would go out of town.

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That is the funniest.

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I know.

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It's such a funny name.

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I mean, for a chicken, great name, but she was, she was

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an amazing woman, but funny name for a chicken.

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Yeah.

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Hey, Carrie, you look great.

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I'm glad to be here.

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I think this is what I need.

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I'm so glad.

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I'm glad we all be here.

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I was on Marco Polo with them, with Priscilla right before we got on.

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Oh, okay.

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Is she on here?

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Trying to find her.

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Oh, there.

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I see her muted and non-video.

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I'm here.

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I almost did that myself.

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I always forget to turn off the microphone and the camera, so I don't dare.

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You know my experience with the microphone.

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I've never done it with a zoom call, but I have that on Marco Polo, you know, I

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always make sure to like, I'll think I'll, I'll listen to a lot of Marco Polo's in

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the, in the, uh, in bath.

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Well, cause I have friends like, like I've told y'all like she, you know, like visit.

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So I'll have like a video that's like an hour and 45 minutes long, you know, or a

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series of videos that are an hour, 45 minutes long.

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So anyway, I just relax while I listen to them.

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And, um, it's, it's, it's better than a movie, you know, we just, we just visit.

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Well, then if I want to respond to realize, wait a minute, wrong, wrong time.

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Right.

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I've caught myself once.

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It's like, Oh shoot.

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I really can't, I cannot click start.

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So anyway, at least it's a woman.

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So it was, and you can delete, you can delete those things though.

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I've had to delete many.

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So, yeah, but anyway, so it's good to see everybody.

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I think I missed something, but I promise I'm not being creepy.

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I like that.

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So let's see here.

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Um, did, uh, anyone have anything that they wanted to start out with?

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But I, we've got, we've got some stuff that I was going to, um, you know, expound

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on, you know, that, that Carrie had had in her post, by the way, Carrie, I greatly,

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I guess we'll just start with that.

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Um, I, um, and then everyone can save there's for later for afterwards.

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Maybe this will prompt and start the conversation.

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I carry, I can't tell you how much I appreciated you posting that because,

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um, uh, it, I wanted, I wanted those, uh, those types of posts.

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I wanted people to understand that those types of posts are very welcome

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in the group because it's just, it's, it's from a place of, Hey, look, this

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is what it is that I believe, and this is what I'm shifting into.

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And yet there was this issue and I am really struggling on this one or whatever.

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And because that's where the rubber meets the road that it's in is when people are

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very honest, whether they're in the, uh, whether they're in a, in, in usually

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they're the most honest in my private sessions with them when people are very

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honest and they get very honest answers that they can actually, that are actually.

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You know, rubber meets the road applicable as opposed to nice theoretical jargon.

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That all sounds wonderful, but we don't understand how that can act, how we can

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trust that enough in real life, you know, where it counts.

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And so on the really difficult things, it all sounds nice.

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You know, like, like, like preaching sounds great in church.

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And then we go home.

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And then, um, our, you know, uh, a parent of ours is, um, is, uh, you know, has

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passed away or, you know, um, a friend of ours has betrayed us on Facebook, you

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know, for all the world to see, or, you know, I mean, this is, this is real life

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and the word wants us to understand that we have freedom in realness as opposed

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to thinking, okay, well, Christianity is this great thing that we, that's just

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this crutch, you know, a relationship with God is, is fully sustaining.

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I mean, to the point where I get to such a point, we don't even have to eat.

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I mean, it's, it's like so sustaining, so it can, it can help us in these moments.

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So anyway, I really appreciated you being honest.

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and in taking the time to share that with everyone

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because then we can all benefit.

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And it was just something that just needed to be addressed

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because yeah, what do you do when hope is deferred?

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Because if you've gotten to the point

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where you actually stepped out with the Lord,

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you're like, you're afraid, afraid, afraid.

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And then you step out with the Lord

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and oh my goodness, he comes through.

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And then you step out with the Lord again,

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very cautiously and he comes through.

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All of those are the nice stories.

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What about when you do it?

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And this is what I've been trying to be careful

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to kind of like warn everybody about

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that these types of things can happen.

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But I was like, yeah, but I don't want to scare everybody.

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So periodically, I'd like remind people

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or just kind of like throw out a little gentle wind.

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Oh yeah, well, you know, it doesn't.

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Sometimes, because I knew one day it's gonna come

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and everybody's gonna be like, how on earth does this fit in?

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I'm like, this is exactly where it fits in.

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So, yeah, things haven't gone off the rails.

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Everything's still where it needs to be.

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So I'm glad that you brought it up

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so that we could address it.

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There's nothing to be afraid of.

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There's not like, oh, well, you know, these principles,

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these principles work until they just don't.

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Nope, they always work, always.

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So I wanted to mention, first of all,

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I liked how you drew the relationship between the fact that,

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yes, what it is, the way that we've grown up,

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the way our parents believe things,

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the way that we were raised,

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the things that you said that the environment

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that you felt that you grew up in,

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emotionally with your dad is the way,

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or it can be with our mom as well,

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is how we then believe that God is.

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And so I thought it was very insightful

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that you understood that, yes, this is how I view the Lord,

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that my feelings don't matter,

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that I don't have value,

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and that what it is that I want isn't important,

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and I always need to stifle it,

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that my dreams are not safe with other people,

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and they're not safe with the Lord,

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that I just, just because I want it

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doesn't mean that I can't have it.

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In fact, you can go so far as the way that I did,

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whereas if I want it, that means I can't have it.

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So I learned to not want anything.

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Don't want it, don't expect it, don't desire it,

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and it's very, and that can just happen

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with all of the disappointment,

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and you just think, okay, it's just,

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God just doesn't desire it to be.

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So I wanted to, wanted to encourage you

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that God is a safe,

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wants you to know that,

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and you can search this in your spirit,

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God wants you to know that he is a safe place

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in which you can dream.

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And yes, right now, where the hope is deferred,

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and you wanted something,

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and it sounds like the answer's no,

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I'm not saying that it's no,

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I'm saying that's how the feelings are responding,

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is it's like no, or even if not,

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or even if it's a not right now,

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it still feels like a no,

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it's like, because it still hurts,

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and he wants you to know that he's a safe place,

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he's a safe place, in other words, you're in him,

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and he's a safe place for you to be inside of and dream.

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And he's also a safe place to dream with,

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like, you know, like your husband is,

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so he's a, God is a safe person to dream with.

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So he's the safe place to dream in,

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and a safe person to dream with,

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and you don't have to, you don't have to worry

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that this situation is such that,

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well, my, that I can't dream,

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or that it means something bad, or selfish,

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or something, if I desire something,

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because what if it's not God's will, and all of that,

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and all of that's just, and it's just wrong,

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that we can't, that we can't dream, we can't want,

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so he's a safe place in which to do that.

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And I was talking to somebody about this today,

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it's kind of like, you know, God,

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like, we provide children the opportunity to play,

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and I've mentioned this before, opportunity to play,

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say, for instance, like with a stuffed animal,

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where they're dressing a stuffed elephant up in a dress.

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And, you know,

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Well, that doesn't make any sense in the real world. And yet it's no problem. We all understand for children to for a child to learn how to interact with this world by playing like that and doing something that's nonsensical.

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Well, God provides us with safe environments in which to dream and play around like that in in him like, oh, well, I wonder if, wouldn't it be me. Yeah.

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So don't think that we also have to be careful of so careful about our dreams that they have to be realistic. They have to make sense. I mean, realistic, whatever term we

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Decided realistic means has to make sense. It has to be God's will. I've got to make sure before I dream this thing before I think of all the possibilities.

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That this really does fall in line with something that might potentially be God's will know you're just, it's a it's kind of like what the in software development, they refer to as a sandbox.

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Where you can build something that you can build this virtual infrastructure with all of these connections in a virtual sandbox.

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And where all of these things happen is this this exact same way as they would in real time. I mean, if in the real thing outside of the sandbox in the real

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With all the real cloud connections to the servers to the to the to the to the app to Facebook to whatever it is that the thing is connected to

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In a sandbox that operates in the same way as it does out in the real world, but developers will develop it and test it in the sandbox.

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And and without it having the potential of corrupting and messing up anything that's going on in real in the real server in the real cloud in the whatever and then eventually with you. Once you test it, you push it was called you push it to production.

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And then, and then make it real. So when we're dreaming and thinking of things with the Lord.

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We're like children who are playing with stuff, you know, stuffed animals and doing wild and crazy things and making and making the bear the daddy

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And this little and our little bunny rabbit. The mommy and we're doing it doesn't make any sense in the real world.

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And yet there's nothing wrong with it. And it's actually very beneficial for development. It's the same thing with dreams.

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You know, dreaming things and whatever with the Lord. So I'm taking this bit further than what we're that we're necessarily talking about here and addressing this because yours is a very real and and and legitimate

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Dream I'm talking about dreams are so safe with God that you can go this far with it.

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They do not have to even make sense. See what you're talking about. We can all of us.

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Think that that totally makes sense. And we can totally all see God doing that. But then, so understand that it doesn't even have to be the that point. God is that safe to dream with

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You're just, you're thinking of things and he's your father and you're just playing around with ideas and you're desiring things and oh this is fun. And, you know, what about this. What if we did this

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What do you think about this Lord. We're not talking about living in this fantasy world where we're not living in reality, like, oh, I'm just going to live here because this is, you know, in a state of

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I don't know in dreamland where I just sit around like dreaming all day instead of just enjoying real life. I'm not talking about that. But I am talking about the fact that

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That it's okay to to dream to the point. God is so safe that it doesn't even have to be. You don't have to qualify it before you're allowed to start dreaming it

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You're not, you don't have to qualify yet first, whether or not this is God's will.

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Or whether or not it's I can see that this fits into reality of who it is that I got. I know God is because sometimes it's when you dream that God begins to reveal himself to be bigger.

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Than we knew that he was and we dreamed it first thinking we were playing around. Wouldn't it be nice if

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And he begins to reveal to our spirit and uses that as a trigger that to reveal to us. He actually is that big. But if we hadn't allowed ourselves to understand that he was that safe of a place to dream in unrealistically, we wouldn't have

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We wouldn't have been triggered and revealed to you by the Lord that

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That he had that he was that limitless and that he was something that beyond a boundary that we had previously created for him that he's like, No, I'm actually out here. We dreamed out there and God showed up out there.

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If we didn't dream out there. We didn't even know he was out there because we put up this boundary of how we were going to see God.

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Anyway, so I just wanted to expound on the whole thing about about how safe the Lord is.

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So what it is that we're experiencing when we're like,

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okay, I'm following you, Lord.

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I'm stepping out in faith.

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I'm actually looking at properties.

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Not only am I dreaming, I'm actually looking at properties

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and following my spirit, things feel alive.

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I feel at peace.

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Everything feels right.

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It's like this domino effect of all of these things

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that shouldn't have happened,

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that shouldn't have been allowed to happen.

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Like they weren't even going to, normally,

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we thought that we weren't gonna have money.

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And then our father surprised us with saying,

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hey, I want to offer you this.

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Oh my goodness, I didn't expect that to come down the pipe.

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A few days after you and I talked about this

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is when he did it.

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Then you go out and find a property and you're like,

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oh my word, everything is just perfect.

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And you're like, that wasn't supposed to happen.

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Then they're not supposed to show you the place.

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And then they show you the place.

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And it's just one thing right after another.

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And of course, Amy has got a story like this as well,

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specifically about a house.

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So all of these things, we're like, oh my goodness,

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it just looks like it's just going through.

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Everything's wonderful, perfect.

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And all of a sudden it doesn't happen.

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And so we, and then we can get to the point,

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like what you explained of like,

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it feels like I'd rather that it hadn't happened at all

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than for it to get this far and still be no.

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So again, it's that part of like dreaming with God.

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And the fact that the point,

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you remember when we talked in,

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when we talked to the live probably, I don't know,

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like a month or two ago,

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where I talked about business that once you get a goal,

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you get a direction, but the point isn't the goal.

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And immediately you have to get rid of the goal

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in order to allow ourselves to be guided by the Lord.

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It just gives us direction to start out in.

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And then we just keep going.

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The point is the journey with the Lord.

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It's not the destination.

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It doesn't mean that you won't get to the destination,

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but it means that the destination is never the point.

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You might get it, but it's not ever the point.

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And if we think that it's the point,

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then it causes us to not even be able

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to appreciate the beautiful thing that happened

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and how fun that was and the journey and the whatever.

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And you never know, they might call you tomorrow

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and just like, you know what, we rethought this.

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So I'm not saying that, oh, this means, by the way,

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that that thing's not going to happen

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and you just need to be okay with that.

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I'm not saying that.

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I'm saying that we have to shift our perspective

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of enjoying the journey and letting go of the goal.

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Doesn't mean that the goal won't happen.

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It means we have to let go of our stranglehold on it

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because here's what it is.

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We're holding God accountable to it.

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Like, you didn't do this.

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I did all of this, Lord.

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I was following you faith.

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I was vulnerable.

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You didn't come through.

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So it reveals an accusation that we have against the Lord.

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That's what these things reveal.

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It's not understand God's maliciousness of like,

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I'm going to take them through all of this

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just to show them something ugly.

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No, God doesn't do that.

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That's how I was taught growing up,

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that the purpose of seeing like that of this

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is for the ugliness that was supposed to be revealed in us.

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And that is absolute, a flat out lie from Satan himself.

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It is not true.

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What God wants to show you

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is that you're actually have an opportunity

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to live in more freedom than you are

325
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because whenever we get to a point and we're just like,

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oh my word, I feel such heaviness now,

327
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such disappointment, such whatever.

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God's like, yeah, see that right there?

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You've always lived with that.

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And I want you to know, you don't have to live with that.

331
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You don't have to be that way to down.

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You don't have to whatever.

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I actually have more freedom.

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So step into the more freedom

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as opposed to continuing to live like that.

336
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Can feel like continuing to live

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with that underlying oppressiveness

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or that underlying disappointment

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that only raises its ugly head,

340
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ugly head meaning like how it makes us feel.

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It just kind of makes us just feel awful inside

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whenever things like this happen.

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So the point isn't to say, hey, by the way,

344
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I want you to know that this is there and this is a problem

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and I want you to feel bad about it

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so that we can deal with it.

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It's not, God's like, you see this?

348
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This is something that you're carrying

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that you don't have to carry.

350
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But until, no pun intended on your name,

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but that you don't have to carry.

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So that's what it is that he wants to show

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is the freedom that we have to.

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step into that we don't realize that under the surface we're not we're not living in and yes

355
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it's very difficult it's difficult to shift from where you know what you've been feeling into what

356
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I've been talking about it so it's a choice that we make because it doesn't feel like it because

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everything up to this point in our lives has told us that that we look to what happens as the

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evidence of something of some lesson we're supposed to learn like okay did it work out no see god

359
00:25:40.640 --> 00:25:46.880
didn't want it you know you heard him wrong you had faith in the wrong thing you had faith in

360
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something that he didn't tell you you know that you could have faith in or whatever we we we

361
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decide that it means all kinds of things and um and and and that's not true god wants to just say

362
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no no you're under a weight and like oh you know you don't have to live under this weight you've

363
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been carrying this weight the whole time you just didn't see it until now so now that you know that

364
00:26:12.960 --> 00:26:19.600
you have it you don't now get rid of it and then you don't even have it underlying the uh in other

365
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areas of your life um so choose to use just like you know choose to uh release it just let go like

366
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what is happening again what we always go back to whatever's happening shouldn't happen whatever is

367
00:26:34.320 --> 00:26:41.600
going on shouldn't be um it should be different than what it is just release that you're not

368
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releasing your hope uh and like letting it go it's like oh we're giving up or giving in to it

369
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like well it's just the way that it is sometimes we don't get what we want it was like i'll accept

370
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it lord that god doesn't want us to do that he just wants us to let go of our stranglehold on it

371
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is if we have this right and this sense of entitlement to something and often we'll make

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it real spiritual like god you said it's very interesting um adam you know adam had those

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attested accusations against god and so many other people you know in the bible you know have

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point blank uh stories exampling the fact that we that we do that god you said um you put me in this

375
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position adam said um you know uh god god asked adam you know well who told you that you were

376
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naked well it's the woman that you gave to me and so that carries over he's not the only one

377
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who accuses god of that we all do you know you did this you told me i could trust you

378
00:27:50.560 --> 00:27:58.160
um you told me i could dream with you everything worked out fine until it didn't you you know so

379
00:27:58.160 --> 00:28:04.240
and and there's this accusation gotten to god we feel abandoned we felt i was vulnerable and it's

380
00:28:04.240 --> 00:28:11.520
now been proven that i'm alone it's now been proven i went all of this way expecting you to

381
00:28:11.520 --> 00:28:19.280
be there and i found myself alone and that's what it felt like um so and it's that accusation you

382
00:28:19.280 --> 00:28:24.720
know against the lord and that's what it is that we believe it's not our hope and it's not a dream

383
00:28:24.720 --> 00:28:29.360
that god wants us to let go of when i kept so when i kept saying we need to let go of it it's not

384
00:28:29.360 --> 00:28:34.080
it's not the dream we have to let go of it's our right and our sense of entitlement to it and our

385
00:28:34.080 --> 00:28:39.680
this accusation that we're holding up against holding to god that he didn't meet or measure up

386
00:28:39.680 --> 00:28:48.640
or whatever because we feel that i'm abandoned and i'm alone um so um see if there was anything

387
00:28:48.640 --> 00:28:55.280
else that i wrote down there's a lot more i could say about that but um uh but yeah

388
00:28:56.400 --> 00:29:02.400
um the all i just wanted to just mention that it's all indicative of something good

389
00:29:02.400 --> 00:29:09.760
not of the fact that oh well see this just shows that i'm just i haven't learned i'm unshifted i

390
00:29:09.760 --> 00:29:14.320
still run into these situations i still feel like this i thought i'd come so far and i thought i'd

391
00:29:14.320 --> 00:29:20.400
learn so much god's like you have this is a new area of freedom don't you want to be free this

392
00:29:20.400 --> 00:29:30.400
much um and uh so and and trust me i know oh well what it is like to be in those situations because

393
00:29:30.400 --> 00:29:37.840
i'm still in them uh on days that i get on here and y'all have no idea that i've been battling

394
00:29:37.840 --> 00:29:45.520
something i was like lord just like this hurts i trusted you i thought you know whatever it is

395
00:29:45.520 --> 00:29:50.720
and i was like oh i've got accusation against the lord but lord i know i'm you just sit down

396
00:29:50.720 --> 00:29:55.200
and how i shipped out of it and he's like actually just let go let go release whatever

397
00:29:55.200 --> 00:29:59.840
i'm fully aware of having to walk all of this out very big things

398
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:07.040
you know, decade-full dreams, having a house, doing this, doing that. So, anyway,

399
00:30:08.560 --> 00:30:12.000
does that all make sense? Or do you have any questions?

400
00:30:12.000 --> 00:30:17.440
No, that makes a lot of sense. I liked a lot what you said about having, like, when we put such a,

401
00:30:18.560 --> 00:30:24.080
we put such an expectation on the end result that it makes that we can't even enjoy the journey

402
00:30:24.080 --> 00:30:31.920
with the Lord. And that is what happened. I mean, like, I can't even, it just takes the joy away

403
00:30:31.920 --> 00:30:36.880
from how much he already had provided in the situation. Just the fact that as of now, you know,

404
00:30:36.880 --> 00:30:40.320
it doesn't look like we'll be getting that property. But it seemed like, you know, it

405
00:30:40.320 --> 00:30:45.360
totally diminished everything he did up to that point. But it makes a lot of sense what you were

406
00:30:45.360 --> 00:30:52.000
saying, too. It's not necessarily about the end destination or the end of everything, you know,

407
00:30:52.960 --> 00:30:57.840
because when we hold that to, when we hold God accountable to that, then it takes the joy out

408
00:30:57.840 --> 00:31:02.240
of being on the journey with him. So that makes a lot of, that really resonates with me. And

409
00:31:02.240 --> 00:31:07.520
especially, too, with what you were saying about releasing the death grip on it, but still allowing

410
00:31:07.520 --> 00:31:16.480
you to dream. I was thinking about that today. I was like, how can I, I can't, I can't not dream.

411
00:31:16.560 --> 00:31:23.440
Like, I can't shut down that part of me again. But how do I hold on to it enough? Or like,

412
00:31:23.440 --> 00:31:31.440
how do I let it express itself without being like, okay, it's showdown time now. You better give it

413
00:31:31.440 --> 00:31:35.920
to me or else you're toast, God. You know what I mean? Like, how do you hold on to it and let it

414
00:31:35.920 --> 00:31:41.680
go at the same time? But yeah, that does make a lot of sense. Yeah. Because you're not letting go

415
00:31:41.680 --> 00:31:48.640
of it. You're letting go of God's, you're holding God accountable and obligated to come through

416
00:31:48.640 --> 00:32:00.480
exactly X way. So what he wants to reveal to you is he wants to actually not just know how much

417
00:32:00.480 --> 00:32:10.400
you're loved. He wants to love you. And we have to love us. Sometimes it is hard for us to allow

418
00:32:10.400 --> 00:32:16.080
ourselves to be loved. So it's more than just knowing that we're loved and knowing that he's

419
00:32:16.080 --> 00:32:24.880
good. We have to do it. And he will do it in the way that he's, that according to his character,

420
00:32:25.520 --> 00:32:32.480
we can't determine, no, the only way I want to be loved is, and the only way that I will receive

421
00:32:32.480 --> 00:32:38.000
love is if you do it like this. And, and God, and, and I said, Isaiah that talk, Isaiah, Jeremiah,

422
00:32:38.160 --> 00:32:41.760
talks about the potter and the clay says, well, the clay can't say to the potter,

423
00:32:41.760 --> 00:32:48.400
you know, I went to, it's a potter's choice. And so, but, but from a very loving, from a very

424
00:32:48.400 --> 00:32:53.760
loving perspective, you know, it's like, well, how does he want to love you? Again, not tell you that

425
00:32:53.760 --> 00:32:58.240
you're loved. So it's strictly so that you know, that you're loved because there's all that as well,

426
00:32:58.240 --> 00:33:06.000
but actually be loved. And otherwise we're in a state of resistance when he's like,

427
00:33:06.000 --> 00:33:11.200
I'm trying to love you. You're not, you're not happy. Why aren't you happy? I'm loving on you.

428
00:33:11.200 --> 00:33:16.080
This is a good thing. And so with that whole thing of, of the dreams, you know, like how

429
00:33:16.080 --> 00:33:23.840
you hold on to it, let it go. You, you, what your, what your expectation should always be

430
00:33:25.040 --> 00:33:31.840
is in God, not in the thing. For instance, let's talk about this in a relationship,

431
00:33:31.840 --> 00:33:38.160
because for some reason it just sounds easier in a relationship. I mean, to explain this in

432
00:33:38.160 --> 00:33:45.120
a relationship perspective. Okay. Let's say for instance, there's something that let's just let,

433
00:33:45.120 --> 00:33:50.800
let's throw this out there. Let's say that somebody wants to that somebody doesn't feel

434
00:33:50.800 --> 00:33:58.160
loved by their husband and they want to feel loved by their husbands and, or say that their husband

435
00:33:58.160 --> 00:34:02.240
loves them, but they don't feel loved. There you go. And they're just like, I'm just struggling.

436
00:34:02.960 --> 00:34:07.520
You know, I just don't feel it. He, the way he expresses it just doesn't, it's just harsh,

437
00:34:07.520 --> 00:34:13.600
just a guy. And he doesn't understand. Well, so if we pray to the Lord about it,

438
00:34:13.600 --> 00:34:20.560
our expectation needs to be on the Lord that we will receive love for our husband, like say that

439
00:34:20.560 --> 00:34:26.080
we will be able to receive love from our husband. Because say for instance, that God gave you a

440
00:34:26.080 --> 00:34:32.400
promise, our promise that our, our, um, our expectation needs to be in the fact that the

441
00:34:32.400 --> 00:34:38.000
Lord promised us, or our expectation needs to be in the Lord, not constantly waiting for it. You

442
00:34:38.000 --> 00:34:43.199
know, looking into our husband, like, well, God said, and I'm waiting. And it, our eyes should

443
00:34:43.199 --> 00:34:48.800
not be on the husband and, and holding our husband and our expectations shouldn't be on the husband.

444
00:34:48.800 --> 00:34:54.960
It should be on the one who promised us. So the same thing for, for like, uh, for like the house,

445
00:34:54.960 --> 00:34:59.840
the expectations shouldn't be on the thing that we want and on the dream. It should be.

446
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:04.640
the one who promised us the dream. And I don't mean that he promised you a house directly,

447
00:35:04.640 --> 00:35:11.280
I mean that he promised to give you good things. He promised to love on you. He promised to take

448
00:35:11.280 --> 00:35:16.320
care of you, to provide for you, protect you, make you feel loved, to love on you. And so if

449
00:35:16.320 --> 00:35:21.520
we keep our eyes on the Lord and keep our expectation on him to fulfill the promise,

450
00:35:21.520 --> 00:35:27.280
as opposed to the thing, because the thing didn't promise us, God did. So our expectation should be

451
00:35:27.280 --> 00:35:34.240
on that and we shouldn't look to the outside and wait for it to manifest. And before,

452
00:35:35.360 --> 00:35:40.240
and wait for it to manifest in that. So does that make sense? We should have our expectation

453
00:35:40.240 --> 00:35:46.560
on the Lord, on the one who promised us, as opposed to the thing that he said would come.

454
00:35:47.680 --> 00:35:53.520
I hope that I'm explaining that well. Did I explain it in a way that you understood or not?

455
00:35:54.240 --> 00:35:58.800
Not for. Yeah, no, that makes sense. I totally get what you're saying.

456
00:35:59.440 --> 00:36:03.760
Okay, so you get what I'm saying. Amy doesn't. Let me give another example.

457
00:36:06.800 --> 00:36:14.960
Okay, here's a good example. Say, for instance, that the Lord promised that,

458
00:36:15.440 --> 00:36:25.280
um, let's see here. Okay. Say that the Lord promised you, uh, told you ahead of time that

459
00:36:25.280 --> 00:36:31.040
you were going to marry somebody. The Lord promised you that. So the person didn't tell

460
00:36:31.040 --> 00:36:35.360
you that they were, that didn't, you know, tell you that they were going to marry you.

461
00:36:35.360 --> 00:36:42.240
They have no idea, but God did. So who's your expectation on? Because a friend of mine is

462
00:36:42.240 --> 00:36:49.040
going through this. She believes that God has given her a, um, has told her, um, who she's

463
00:36:49.040 --> 00:36:56.240
going to marry. And, but she doesn't know whether or not he's told the guy that, and the guy

464
00:36:56.240 --> 00:37:02.960
absolutely has not pursued her. And she's just like, oh, wow, this is a challenging situation.

465
00:37:03.520 --> 00:37:09.840
So what she does is she does not put her expectations on the guy and like waiting for

466
00:37:09.920 --> 00:37:13.360
him. Okay. Well, when's he going to start pursuing him? Is he calling me? Does he,

467
00:37:13.360 --> 00:37:18.080
does he look at me? Does he pay me attention to see whatever is trying to pull for signs.

468
00:37:18.640 --> 00:37:24.320
What she does is she says, my expectation is on the Lord because it's the Lord who promised me

469
00:37:24.320 --> 00:37:30.400
that the Lord is the one who promised that such and such would happen in such and such would be

470
00:37:30.400 --> 00:37:37.680
fulfilled. So my expectation, I'm constantly looking to the Lord for not looking at physical

471
00:37:37.680 --> 00:37:43.200
evidence and expecting it from that is I'm pulling it from creation. I'm pulling it from

472
00:37:43.200 --> 00:37:47.760
the dream. I'm pulling it. Lord, you, you know, I'm looking at this and I'm expecting this to

473
00:37:47.760 --> 00:37:51.840
happen. Lord, you know, why, why? But we're, we're continuing to look at this. We need to

474
00:37:51.840 --> 00:37:57.440
stop looking at this like God promised. So therefore my, my, um, my expectation is in the

475
00:37:57.440 --> 00:38:00.160
Lord. Um, does that, does that help Amy?

476
00:38:05.360 --> 00:38:13.040
Uh, kind of, it's funny you said that because, but there's just that very situation in, um,

477
00:38:13.040 --> 00:38:18.080
my life, not for me, but for somebody in my life. And, uh, I was going to ask you about that.

478
00:38:18.560 --> 00:38:27.440
Oh, okay. Yeah. Um, so yeah, that's interesting. I, I still can't quite,

479
00:38:27.440 --> 00:38:34.720
so focus on the Lord and that his word that is, he's faithful. And I've actually gotten to the

480
00:38:34.720 --> 00:38:44.640
point where, um, like because of this past that, um, it's kind of like that house in Arkansas.

481
00:38:44.640 --> 00:38:49.760
I know I was supposed to go up there and look at it, but it doesn't matter to me that I'm,

482
00:38:50.800 --> 00:38:55.680
you know, not, I didn't have my heart set on that. It was just like, I don't know,

483
00:38:55.680 --> 00:39:00.400
we're doing God. I feel like you want me to go up here. And so it didn't like, I didn't,

484
00:39:00.400 --> 00:39:04.960
I wasn't, it wasn't like Carrie's thing where she had a specific screen and it looked like

485
00:39:04.960 --> 00:39:12.320
it was coming for, but, but yeah, so, but I do, I do have something else in my life similar

486
00:39:12.320 --> 00:39:18.560
and actually Carrier's story today helped me kind of sort through it. Um, because I've been

487
00:39:18.560 --> 00:39:25.360
asking the Lord to help me pay off debt for a long time, probably two years in the natural,

488
00:39:25.360 --> 00:39:31.760
like there is no progress, but then I, you know, what my, my thing that comes up is,

489
00:39:31.760 --> 00:39:39.600
oh, he hasn't done it. So I don't deserve it. That's my thing. I always doubt my own

490
00:39:39.680 --> 00:39:46.640
worthiness of God coming through. But then after reading Carrie's, um, testimony, and I was

491
00:39:46.640 --> 00:39:51.600
thinking it's easier to think through somebody else's situation than your own, you know,

492
00:39:51.600 --> 00:39:55.440
cause you don't have that emotional attachment. And so it really helped me, Carrie, thank you

493
00:39:55.440 --> 00:39:59.840
for sharing that because I started thinking about it and I was like, oh, I.

494
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:05.280
have my expectation on the outcome that the debt being paid off and it just

495
00:40:05.280 --> 00:40:09.040
dawned on me today that um well of course the Lord will answer

496
00:40:09.040 --> 00:40:12.160
that prayer and he's actually working on it even though I

497
00:40:12.160 --> 00:40:16.640
don't see it yet you know that there he

498
00:40:16.640 --> 00:40:21.120
he hears my prayer and he is answering I don't know what that's going to look

499
00:40:21.120 --> 00:40:26.480
like but I did realize that I had uh my own expectation of what how that

500
00:40:26.480 --> 00:40:29.280
would happen when it would happen all that kind of

501
00:40:29.280 --> 00:40:33.520
stuff and so um as I thought through Terry's situation I

502
00:40:33.520 --> 00:40:36.320
thought well just because it doesn't look like it

503
00:40:36.320 --> 00:40:38.880
you know in the natural right now doesn't mean that God

504
00:40:38.880 --> 00:40:43.280
is done with that whole situation and so then I started thinking about oh what

505
00:40:43.280 --> 00:40:47.280
about you Amy what things are you thinking God let you

506
00:40:47.280 --> 00:40:52.720
down on I was like oh my debt yeah and I was like yeah of course he's

507
00:40:52.720 --> 00:40:56.240
working on it of course he has a plan of course he wants to pay off my debt so

508
00:40:56.240 --> 00:41:00.080
he wants me to pay it off I mean you know it's like okay and it just

509
00:41:00.080 --> 00:41:04.240
really gave me a lot of freedom to be able to to release it to him and go

510
00:41:04.240 --> 00:41:06.960
okay God you know like that like you said I had

511
00:41:06.960 --> 00:41:10.080
that feeling that shift of like I'm just gonna go play because I know

512
00:41:10.080 --> 00:41:14.400
you're working on it you're the dad and so that was so thanks for sharing

513
00:41:14.400 --> 00:41:18.640
that Terry it helped me a lot and yes I I kind of I I do get what you're

514
00:41:18.640 --> 00:41:23.760
talking about now I do get I do get it yeah okay yeah I I and

515
00:41:23.760 --> 00:41:26.960
while you were talking there must have been something that you said that made

516
00:41:26.960 --> 00:41:30.240
me uh uh that made me think of hopefully a

517
00:41:30.240 --> 00:41:34.320
better more succinct way to explain it I mean to phrase it and that is that our

518
00:41:34.320 --> 00:41:39.120
expectation needs to be on the one he promised not on what he

519
00:41:39.120 --> 00:41:43.760
promised to fulfill it needs to be on the one he promised and

520
00:41:43.760 --> 00:41:47.200
because what he's trying to prove is he's always trying to prove his

521
00:41:47.200 --> 00:41:51.280
character the point isn't the manifestation the

522
00:41:51.280 --> 00:41:55.920
point is what it is manifesting it's manifesting his faithfulness it's

523
00:41:55.920 --> 00:42:00.000
manifesting his promise it's manifesting his love his goodness is whatever

524
00:42:00.000 --> 00:42:03.840
it's not on the manifestation of it because he can manifest it in a bunch of

525
00:42:03.840 --> 00:42:07.840
different ways it's what that thing represents that's

526
00:42:07.840 --> 00:42:11.120
the whole point that's what makes the house so precious it's what makes the

527
00:42:11.120 --> 00:42:15.840
promise so precious it's what it's whatever um and uh oh case in

528
00:42:15.840 --> 00:42:18.800
point okay so this is it this is an example

529
00:42:18.800 --> 00:42:24.960
um a uh my uh my friend who was talking to me about this this guy

530
00:42:24.960 --> 00:42:27.840
that she believes the lord has told her to marry

531
00:42:27.840 --> 00:42:32.720
um so she she said you know ashley my expectation is on the lord to the point

532
00:42:32.720 --> 00:42:36.480
where she said if she said because that guy has free

533
00:42:36.480 --> 00:42:41.440
will she said what if he makes makes a choice

534
00:42:41.440 --> 00:42:46.880
and i'm not his choice and um and she said that does not mean

535
00:42:46.880 --> 00:42:51.440
that god was not right and that god's promise was wrong or whatever she said

536
00:42:51.440 --> 00:42:56.160
he will always upgrade and he will always um

537
00:42:56.160 --> 00:42:59.680
he uh what was the other way that she worded it

538
00:42:59.680 --> 00:43:06.640
she said he will um uh that that the point

539
00:43:06.640 --> 00:43:10.880
is the is um she and i were talking about the fact that the point is the

540
00:43:10.880 --> 00:43:14.640
journey with the lord and what it is that he is proving about

541
00:43:14.720 --> 00:43:21.280
himself in the situation not in how the situation turned out so she

542
00:43:21.280 --> 00:43:25.360
said it can be someone else

543
00:43:25.360 --> 00:43:28.720
she said that i end up marrying she said it

544
00:43:28.720 --> 00:43:36.080
doesn't matter it doesn't affect god's promise it doesn't affect

545
00:43:36.080 --> 00:43:39.840
the fact that he will fulfill what he said that he'll fulfill

546
00:43:39.840 --> 00:43:43.440
it doesn't have to work out exactly x y and z way

547
00:43:43.440 --> 00:43:46.480
in order for him to be right and so she's

548
00:43:46.480 --> 00:43:49.760
she's let go so much of the outcome that she said

549
00:43:49.760 --> 00:43:52.880
it doesn't even have to be him in order for

550
00:43:52.880 --> 00:43:56.720
it's that much of an expectation on the one who promised as opposed to the

551
00:43:56.720 --> 00:44:00.240
manifestation it's that much it's that serious that

552
00:44:00.240 --> 00:44:04.160
drastic that focused on him not focused on this

553
00:44:04.160 --> 00:44:08.320
one at all yeah i finally got to that point in the

554
00:44:08.320 --> 00:44:11.200
situation in my life like that it was like it

555
00:44:11.200 --> 00:44:13.920
didn't matter because i had to sort through that whole

556
00:44:13.920 --> 00:44:17.120
thing about free will and other people's wills and

557
00:44:17.120 --> 00:44:20.880
you know trying to figure out who's got it over why or what is it and i thought

558
00:44:20.880 --> 00:44:24.240
you know what i know his plans are always good for

559
00:44:24.240 --> 00:44:27.360
his children and so like you said it doesn't have to

560
00:44:27.360 --> 00:44:32.000
be that one yeah yeah exactly and another case in

561
00:44:32.000 --> 00:44:36.080
point and you remember how you talked there were so many trees in

562
00:44:36.080 --> 00:44:39.200
the garden so many options it was like joy the

563
00:44:39.200 --> 00:44:42.720
knowledge of good and evil so why do we think that well lord it can only happen

564
00:44:42.720 --> 00:44:46.320
like this that's just like no it can happen a

565
00:44:46.320 --> 00:44:50.800
whole bunch of different ways i didn't promise this i promised my

566
00:44:50.800 --> 00:44:53.120
character i promised my love i promised my

567
00:44:53.120 --> 00:44:56.240
faithfulness i promised like goodness and why does it have to end up like this

568
00:44:56.240 --> 00:44:58.720
he's like do you know how many trees i created

569
00:44:58.720 --> 00:45:02.000
so anyway

570
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:04.080
He does want to, if we abide in him, he says,

571
00:45:04.080 --> 00:45:05.480
he's the one who said this,

572
00:45:05.480 --> 00:45:07.680
that we can hold him accountable to,

573
00:45:07.680 --> 00:45:10.240
that he will give us the desires of our heart.

574
00:45:10.240 --> 00:45:15.240
If we abide in him and we ask him from the Father's heart,

575
00:45:15.760 --> 00:45:17.200
from being one with him,

576
00:45:17.200 --> 00:45:20.480
Christ says, you know, you ask and you will receive it,

577
00:45:20.480 --> 00:45:23.000
and I will give you the desires of your heart.

578
00:45:23.000 --> 00:45:27.300
What we've confused is what the desires of our heart are.

579
00:45:27.380 --> 00:45:32.380
We think it's a house or it's a spouse or it's a whatever.

580
00:45:33.580 --> 00:45:34.780
And that's actually, God's like,

581
00:45:34.780 --> 00:45:36.700
no, that's actually not your desire.

582
00:45:36.700 --> 00:45:39.940
That's how you've interpreted your desire to be.

583
00:45:39.940 --> 00:45:42.940
If you had to create an object out of your desire,

584
00:45:42.940 --> 00:45:44.820
you thought that it formed this object.

585
00:45:44.820 --> 00:45:47.420
And God's like, no, that's not actually what you want.

586
00:45:47.420 --> 00:45:51.220
But so it limits him far too much.

587
00:45:51.220 --> 00:45:53.500
So anyway, I just kind of,

588
00:45:53.500 --> 00:45:55.180
it doesn't mean that it's not going to be a house.

589
00:45:55.180 --> 00:45:57.580
I'm just trying to like show how good he is

590
00:45:57.580 --> 00:45:59.940
and show like the context of it,

591
00:46:00.820 --> 00:46:03.300
that often if there are specific things

592
00:46:03.300 --> 00:46:06.080
that are on our hearts that have particular,

593
00:46:06.080 --> 00:46:08.020
that form a particular picture,

594
00:46:08.020 --> 00:46:10.240
he often does manifest like that,

595
00:46:11.420 --> 00:46:13.880
but that's not the point.

596
00:46:13.880 --> 00:46:14.900
So anyway, he just,

597
00:46:14.900 --> 00:46:17.420
it's constantly about more freedom

598
00:46:17.420 --> 00:46:20.260
that we can live and move in him.

599
00:46:20.260 --> 00:46:23.820
So did I answer it all, Carrie?

600
00:46:25.820 --> 00:46:30.300
Yeah, the one thing I was thinking about

601
00:46:32.100 --> 00:46:34.900
was I was thinking back to my garden and stuff

602
00:46:34.900 --> 00:46:38.780
and thinking about how in the beginning,

603
00:46:38.780 --> 00:46:40.300
like literally, I mean,

604
00:46:40.300 --> 00:46:42.860
God basically made my garden, you know?

605
00:46:42.860 --> 00:46:44.460
And then when it all was said and done,

606
00:46:44.460 --> 00:46:48.140
it was like the whole universe

607
00:46:48.140 --> 00:46:49.460
was against me having that garden.

608
00:46:49.460 --> 00:46:50.580
So I was like, okay, well,

609
00:46:50.580 --> 00:46:52.700
the Lord just has to be better in mind for me.

610
00:46:52.700 --> 00:46:54.480
And I'm wondering, like,

611
00:46:54.480 --> 00:46:56.300
is that just a coping mechanism

612
00:46:56.300 --> 00:46:57.620
or is that actually true?

613
00:46:57.620 --> 00:46:59.980
Because sometimes I feel like I,

614
00:46:59.980 --> 00:47:01.500
whenever something doesn't work out,

615
00:47:01.500 --> 00:47:03.740
I'm like, oh, well, I just have to be better.

616
00:47:03.740 --> 00:47:05.300
You know, you just have to be better.

617
00:47:05.300 --> 00:47:07.100
And that's, you know,

618
00:47:07.100 --> 00:47:09.180
that's just how I cope with something.

619
00:47:09.180 --> 00:47:10.260
And that was what,

620
00:47:10.260 --> 00:47:11.860
how my question tied into

621
00:47:11.860 --> 00:47:14.340
the whole prosperity gospel thing.

622
00:47:14.340 --> 00:47:17.340
Is there always just something better around the corner

623
00:47:17.340 --> 00:47:21.220
or like sometimes the Lord just doesn't come through

624
00:47:21.220 --> 00:47:22.300
or is it like,

625
00:47:22.300 --> 00:47:24.620
I'd like your perspective on that.

626
00:47:24.620 --> 00:47:27.700
But yeah, if my question makes sense.

627
00:47:27.700 --> 00:47:28.540
Yes, it does.

628
00:47:28.540 --> 00:47:29.380
And I-

629
00:47:29.380 --> 00:47:30.340
Does that make sense?

630
00:47:30.340 --> 00:47:31.500
Okay.

631
00:47:31.500 --> 00:47:32.340
Yeah.

632
00:47:32.340 --> 00:47:34.180
Yeah, I just forgotten that that was part of it.

633
00:47:34.180 --> 00:47:36.180
That you, that yes.

634
00:47:36.180 --> 00:47:37.460
I immediately, when you said that,

635
00:47:37.460 --> 00:47:39.260
I was like, oh, coping mechanism.

636
00:47:39.260 --> 00:47:40.100
We all do it.

637
00:47:40.100 --> 00:47:40.940
We all do it.

638
00:47:40.940 --> 00:47:42.060
I told myself that my whole life,

639
00:47:42.060 --> 00:47:43.620
like, well, God went something better.

640
00:47:43.620 --> 00:47:45.340
It's what we just do to tell ourselves

641
00:47:45.340 --> 00:47:46.940
and make ourselves feel better.

642
00:47:46.940 --> 00:47:48.420
There is a truth in it,

643
00:47:48.420 --> 00:47:50.220
but what we don't under,

644
00:47:50.220 --> 00:47:52.380
what we don't understand is

645
00:47:52.380 --> 00:47:54.060
it's not dealing with the root issue

646
00:47:54.060 --> 00:47:56.740
that we're still holding the Lord accountable to it.

647
00:47:56.740 --> 00:47:58.420
But we're just telling ourselves,

648
00:47:58.420 --> 00:47:59.700
you know, just like this band-aid.

649
00:47:59.700 --> 00:48:01.820
Oh, well, you know, let's be real spiritual.

650
00:48:01.820 --> 00:48:03.740
God went something better.

651
00:48:03.740 --> 00:48:05.340
But we don't really believe it.

652
00:48:05.340 --> 00:48:06.700
At least I haven't.

653
00:48:08.380 --> 00:48:09.700
I'm just saying that,

654
00:48:09.700 --> 00:48:12.300
but it sounds really spiritual in a Bible study,

655
00:48:12.300 --> 00:48:14.620
but I don't actually.

656
00:48:15.860 --> 00:48:16.820
My heart still hurts.

657
00:48:16.940 --> 00:48:18.500
Apparently, I don't believe it.

658
00:48:21.500 --> 00:48:23.660
So it is a coping mechanism usually.

659
00:48:23.660 --> 00:48:27.100
However, it is actually true

660
00:48:27.100 --> 00:48:29.660
in the fact that, yes, God does still have,

661
00:48:29.660 --> 00:48:31.900
God does always have something better for us.

662
00:48:33.180 --> 00:48:37.300
But it's not, okay, how would I, how would I read this?

663
00:48:37.300 --> 00:48:41.900
He wants to always manifest, okay, how would I read this?

664
00:48:41.900 --> 00:48:45.020
It just doesn't always manifest the way that we expect.

665
00:48:45.020 --> 00:48:47.500
Because again, we've confused the desires of our hearts,

666
00:48:47.500 --> 00:48:48.780
the true desires of our heart,

667
00:48:48.780 --> 00:48:51.460
with the fact that it has to work out exactly like this

668
00:48:51.460 --> 00:48:53.140
in order for it to meet my desire.

669
00:48:53.140 --> 00:48:55.300
And God's like, no, it doesn't.

670
00:48:55.300 --> 00:48:57.340
It's like, I know what it is you really want,

671
00:48:57.340 --> 00:48:59.620
and this won't meet it.

672
00:48:59.620 --> 00:49:03.140
Also, it can be that he's,

673
00:49:03.140 --> 00:49:05.580
there's been a greater desire,

674
00:49:05.580 --> 00:49:08.260
and I feel like I'm getting a little complicated here,

675
00:49:08.260 --> 00:49:10.060
but it's true, but I'm just like,

676
00:49:10.060 --> 00:49:11.420
I'm trying to give you a simple answer,

677
00:49:11.420 --> 00:49:14.860
but I think I just like making it a little more complicated.

678
00:49:15.700 --> 00:49:18.220
But also there can be a greater desire of our hearts

679
00:49:18.220 --> 00:49:20.020
that he's trying to meet,

680
00:49:20.020 --> 00:49:23.820
that this thing here will actually,

681
00:49:23.820 --> 00:49:27.100
will actually not allow this one to manifest.

682
00:49:27.100 --> 00:49:28.180
And so it's like, no, no, no,

683
00:49:28.180 --> 00:49:30.260
you actually really wanted this one,

684
00:49:30.260 --> 00:49:32.500
so I'm trying to help you get that one.

685
00:49:33.380 --> 00:49:36.580
So it's just that we don't understand

686
00:49:36.580 --> 00:49:39.900
when he's wanting to reveal his love and his goodness,

687
00:49:39.900 --> 00:49:43.420
we can't determine, case in point,

688
00:49:43.420 --> 00:49:44.860
we chose the tree of the knowledge of good and evil,

689
00:49:44.860 --> 00:49:47.180
and there's all these trees in the garden.

690
00:49:47.180 --> 00:49:51.060
We can't determine and unlimit

691
00:49:51.060 --> 00:49:53.700
how God reveals his goodness and love.

692
00:49:53.700 --> 00:49:56.580
Like, oh, well, God, if you reveal it like this,

693
00:49:56.580 --> 00:49:58.140
that means you love me.

694
00:49:58.140 --> 00:50:00.100
And if you reveal it like any other,

695
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:06.080
way, you don't love me. And God's like, no, no, the whole point is me loving you. So you don't get,

696
00:50:06.080 --> 00:50:14.000
you don't know enough. You don't know as much as I do about how, uh, how you can know that you're

697
00:50:14.000 --> 00:50:22.480
loved by me and feel loved by me. Um, so that's what it is. Um, it's, it's, uh, it's not, God's

698
00:50:22.480 --> 00:50:28.400
not, um, so there is an element of, you know, it's, it's always, there's always something better,

699
00:50:28.400 --> 00:50:33.200
but it's from the aspect of the desires of our heart, what it is that he's, how he's maturing

700
00:50:33.200 --> 00:50:37.840
us. He's always moving us to the greater freedom. And that wouldn't give us the greater freedom

701
00:50:37.840 --> 00:50:46.400
that he, so it is that, but it's, it's not just simply, well, bigger or something. Yeah. Yeah.

702
00:50:47.520 --> 00:50:55.280
That makes sense. Um, Oh yeah. What Priscilla said sounds like my four-year-old mom. If you

703
00:50:55.280 --> 00:51:01.680
don't let me chew gum, then you don't love me. Exactly. We have, we, we did, we, we created,

704
00:51:01.680 --> 00:51:09.440
we defined a world in which we're forcing God to fit into. We've created this world. This is how

705
00:51:09.440 --> 00:51:14.960
it works. These are all the laws and the rules, and God got to fit in this tiny box. And God's

706
00:51:14.960 --> 00:51:20.560
like, no, it's not how it works. So, um, is it's not, he's, like I said, everything he does is

707
00:51:20.560 --> 00:51:25.360
always for goodness and for love. And it's us learning to speak his language, not insisting

708
00:51:25.360 --> 00:51:31.840
that he speak ours. Case in point, interesting point to bring up about the five love languages.

709
00:51:31.840 --> 00:51:35.680
People talk about, you know, how beneficial it is for the five language to understand the five

710
00:51:35.680 --> 00:51:42.800
love languages, you know, time, uh, words of affirmation, all that good stuff. Problem is

711
00:51:42.800 --> 00:51:48.480
when we, when we put focus on those things, it's like, okay, well, this is my love language and

712
00:51:48.480 --> 00:51:55.040
everybody needs to learn it. And, um, and, uh, I just need, and I can accept the fact that this

713
00:51:55.040 --> 00:52:00.320
is how I feel loved. And if somebody does something different, well, then that's just their problem.

714
00:52:00.320 --> 00:52:03.840
And they just, and they just need to change. They need to fix it. My husband needs to do

715
00:52:03.840 --> 00:52:09.040
it differently and he needs to read the book so that he can know and understand and accept

716
00:52:09.040 --> 00:52:16.080
the fact that this is how it works. Or, you know, my wife or whatever that we all laugh and that's

717
00:52:16.080 --> 00:52:26.320
what we do. So, and, and, um, I've got, I had, um, I have a, um, a, uh, a friend that.

718
00:52:28.400 --> 00:52:35.840
What did they say? They, they, their love language was gifts. And they said that if people did not

719
00:52:35.840 --> 00:52:44.960
give them a gift that they, that they liked, they felt unloved because the way they interpreted it

720
00:52:44.960 --> 00:52:51.520
was they don't know me. So whenever I would give gifts to this person, I got to the point where I

721
00:52:51.520 --> 00:52:55.920
had to ask them what they wanted, because I felt so pressured that every time I gave them a gift,

722
00:52:55.920 --> 00:53:00.480
they didn't accept the fact that this is me giving a part of myself to them because to them, it's

723
00:53:00.480 --> 00:53:05.040
like, no, no, no, it has nothing whatsoever to do with you. It has everything whatsoever to do with

724
00:53:05.040 --> 00:53:11.920
me. Who's receiving it. And by what it is that you choose to give me, it determines whether or not

725
00:53:11.920 --> 00:53:21.200
I will accept, I will believe. And I will accept you because you, you love me in the way that I

726
00:53:21.200 --> 00:53:30.640
want to be loved or reject you because I don't feel loved. It made no sense, none whatsoever.

727
00:53:30.640 --> 00:53:35.040
And so anyway, that's what we can sometimes do with those, those, uh, five, those, uh, five

728
00:53:35.040 --> 00:53:40.080
love languages where we're just like, okay, this is my world. I define it. You've got to fit in it

729
00:53:40.720 --> 00:53:45.760
as opposed to, no, no, no. If we love somebody, we need to understand that the love that they

730
00:53:45.760 --> 00:53:51.920
give us has everything whatsoever to do with saying, to, to say about them. It doesn't say

731
00:53:51.920 --> 00:53:58.000
anything about us. So when God loves us, it's all about it. It's always talking about him,

732
00:53:58.000 --> 00:54:02.400
not talking about us, not talking about whether, whether, you know, we deserve it,

733
00:54:02.400 --> 00:54:06.800
whether, um, you know, whatever we don't define how we're loved,

734
00:54:08.320 --> 00:54:14.240
how we're loved is, is defined by his character. So that's a bit narcissistic.

735
00:54:15.840 --> 00:54:24.000
Well, they were just wounded is all it was. It was so wounded and, and they, like a, like a

736
00:54:24.000 --> 00:54:32.720
animal in a corner came out fighting finally hit at a, a, um, uh, their limits and just like,

737
00:54:32.720 --> 00:54:36.640
I deserve better than this people. And they came out like that. They came out,

738
00:54:36.640 --> 00:54:40.800
they came out swinging. They were, they would just take it and take it and take it over the years.

739
00:54:41.680 --> 00:54:46.480
And finally, when they came out, it was ugly. And so it was, it's just, it's just hurt. They had

740
00:54:46.480 --> 00:54:55.520
healed so much since then, but, um, yeah, anyway. So, um, I even saw them more turn one time,

741
00:54:56.080 --> 00:54:59.840
a gift to someone that they had, that that person had just given them about.

742
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:07.680
An hour earlier and asked for a receipt back and said, you know what, this really isn't something I like. Can I have the receipt. So I can go back and get something that I like.

743
00:55:09.160 --> 00:55:10.080
This is an adult.

744
00:55:12.040 --> 00:55:12.400
Oh,

745
00:55:13.400 --> 00:55:24.760
So they're just stood there in silence thinking I'm sorry for that other person. I have their feelings aren't to her. They were. But of course, they handled it very graciously because in the south, you hold your feelings.

746
00:55:25.280 --> 00:55:28.840
Absolutely, absolutely. I will get that for you.

747
00:55:30.640 --> 00:55:44.080
So, but it's just, it's just wounding. We all have our thing it out with that person. So, and I just wanted to point that out because love is all about in the gifts that God gives us house a spouse and I'm not trying to rhyme.

748
00:55:46.720 --> 00:55:50.320
Whatever those two examples that we were talking about houses and stuff.

749
00:55:50.440 --> 00:55:58.840
They, it all is a reflection of God's character and we have to allow ourselves to be loved. We don't get to determine the

750
00:56:00.120 --> 00:56:10.320
The conditions under which we're left it because it has nothing. It doesn't say anything about us. It's, it's everything about him. So we have to stop and listen. My lover is talking to me.

751
00:56:10.320 --> 00:56:27.680
How is he communicating to what is he telling me about himself. How is he trying to love me and we need to learn to to speak the lover's language as opposed to insisting that he speak ours. So, yeah, case in point, the whole pipeline love languages thing.

752
00:56:30.000 --> 00:56:31.360
So, I

753
00:56:31.360 --> 00:56:33.760
See Priscilla had talked about something.

754
00:56:35.200 --> 00:56:40.800
She'd asked me and then she said that I could that I could address it. Okay, so the

755
00:56:43.680 --> 00:56:57.280
Business. She and I were talking about business leadership earlier today. And so I just wanted to kind of go over that again is just, you know, if we if we ever feel like we're not doing enough.

756
00:56:57.280 --> 00:57:06.240
And so I just wanted to kind of go over that again is just, you know, if we, if we ever feel like we are and

757
00:57:08.040 --> 00:57:15.600
If we're if we're trying to provide leadership. Again, this goes for anybody who needs leadership. It doesn't even have to be business.

758
00:57:15.760 --> 00:57:26.000
It's that we have to work on ourselves first and that is not a bad thing. It's not like, oh, I have to work on myself. It's that we have to put on our own oxygen mask.

759
00:57:26.160 --> 00:57:38.960
So we we have permission to to stand in into focus on standing in more freedom and understand that we are as wonderful.

760
00:57:39.320 --> 00:57:49.920
And as as lovable as God declares that we are. And then from that point, we will have what others need as opposed to thinking, you know,

761
00:57:49.920 --> 00:57:58.400
And I don't know, whatever it is that we could be thinking like, oh, what if I'm not doing this right and I feel like I'm not meeting their needs and I feel like I'm whatever

762
00:57:58.720 --> 00:58:06.960
And because I don't know what personal situation is, but she was just talking about business leadership. So I'm just making up examples of stuff that I've heard from clients over the years or stuff that I felt

763
00:58:07.320 --> 00:58:17.000
Oh, I don't know if I'm giving them what they need. And what if they need more for me. And how can I support them and whatever they need us to be who we are. They need us to stand in who it is that we are.

764
00:58:17.800 --> 00:58:24.520
And then we can give them what they need, because if we don't have it. We can't give it so

765
00:58:26.480 --> 00:58:38.040
Anyway, I felt like there's more that I could say about that. But for whatever. So, so, so you can tell me whether whether or not that that answers the question in extension of what I talked about in the

766
00:58:38.080 --> 00:58:49.760
In the, what was that session 13 or 14 where I talked about business leadership, but that's really what it is, is we don't have to worry that other something I have to drum up in order to give somebody something I have to

767
00:58:50.080 --> 00:59:00.880
Work really hard and learn all this business management and, you know, learn everybody's personalities and have them take the Myers-Briggs so I can. Okay, I need to talk to them like this and

768
00:59:00.880 --> 00:59:11.560
No, no, it's just us knowing who it is that we are and asking the Lord to reveal to us who it is that they are. And I don't mean them specifically. They're like their personality. I just mean, Lord.

769
00:59:12.520 --> 00:59:27.520
I need to see myself like this. If you see yourself like this. So that's really what you need to do. So forget what I said about the other because that even though it's true, it can just add complication. All you have to do is ask the Lord to show you who you show you who you are. Oh, hey, rather than

770
00:59:27.520 --> 00:59:28.840
Oh, hey, rather than

771
00:59:31.200 --> 00:59:40.720
To show us who who we are. And when we know who we are. We see everybody else the same way. I no longer have to think about it.

772
00:59:41.840 --> 00:59:53.640
The only time that I have to think about and remember who it is that I am when I'm interacting with someone else is if I is it for whatever reason I feel intimidated by them or

773
00:59:53.640 --> 01:00:00.000
Oh, well, last time they said that hurtful thing to me. And, you know, I was very vulnerable and I'm coming

774
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:04.880
very protected, you know, my walls up and then I don't remember who it is that I

775
01:00:04.880 --> 01:00:08.520
am. And then I have a difficult time seeing them for who they, for who they are.

776
01:00:08.760 --> 01:00:13.160
So that's the only time that I struggle. I have to think, who, you know,

777
01:00:13.360 --> 01:00:16.360
Lord, I can't see them. You know, who have you made them to be?

778
01:00:16.400 --> 01:00:18.960
All I have to know is who I am. And if I know who I am,

779
01:00:18.960 --> 01:00:22.440
my spirit sees in the spirit realm and my spirit sees the other person.

780
01:00:22.600 --> 01:00:24.800
My spirit doesn't have to work for it or find it.

781
01:00:25.240 --> 01:00:28.880
My soul doesn't know things, but my spirit knows everything.

782
01:00:29.600 --> 01:00:34.000
So once I know, once I moved to that place in the spirit, I ought,

783
01:00:34.000 --> 01:00:38.440
I automatically always, without thinking about it, see who that other person is.

784
01:00:38.720 --> 01:00:41.480
I don't even have to ask the Lord to reveal to me always, you know,

785
01:00:41.480 --> 01:00:44.600
who that other person is. Sometimes I do, there's nothing wrong with it.

786
01:00:45.400 --> 01:00:49.400
But I think I was asking that again today for someone, you know, Oh Lord,

787
01:00:49.400 --> 01:00:50.200
you know, you know,

788
01:00:50.200 --> 01:00:54.720
show me because what was happening was I was building up some walls with someone

789
01:00:54.960 --> 01:00:57.640
like, Oh, I was feeling vulnerable and building all of that up.

790
01:00:58.640 --> 01:01:01.360
So I thought, okay, Lord, you know, show me who they are.

791
01:01:01.360 --> 01:01:04.560
But really what it is is if I just ask Lord, okay, remind me who I am.

792
01:01:04.960 --> 01:01:06.800
And I will choose to stand in that place.

793
01:01:06.800 --> 01:01:09.360
And then I will automatically see everyone else because I'm seeing into the

794
01:01:09.360 --> 01:01:12.880
spirit realm and the spirit realm sees everybody else's spirit.

795
01:01:13.640 --> 01:01:15.520
So in the, you'll naturally interact with that person.

796
01:01:15.520 --> 01:01:18.440
You'll naturally talk to that person and they'll rise to that position.

797
01:01:18.440 --> 01:01:20.160
And that's naturally what it is that they need.

798
01:01:20.200 --> 01:01:22.600
They don't need strategies and tactics and all of that.

799
01:01:22.760 --> 01:01:26.280
Nothing wrong with giving them that what they need is they need,

800
01:01:26.840 --> 01:01:30.120
they need to be loved again, just like what we're talking about with the Lord.

801
01:01:30.440 --> 01:01:34.720
It's not just that we need to know that we're loved and they don't just need to

802
01:01:34.720 --> 01:01:37.800
know that they're loved. They need to actually be loved.

803
01:01:38.320 --> 01:01:41.960
So we have to love them. That's what it is that we do with people.

804
01:01:42.000 --> 01:01:45.840
We don't give them something like tips or strategies or what is it that they're

805
01:01:45.840 --> 01:01:49.640
asking for? Love them, value them.

806
01:01:50.000 --> 01:01:54.280
Don't help them know they're loved or help them know that they're valued or help

807
01:01:54.280 --> 01:01:57.840
them know, love them, value them.

808
01:01:58.440 --> 01:02:01.640
Then they'll have what it is that they need as opposed to giving them something

809
01:02:01.640 --> 01:02:04.400
more that they need or trying to make sure that they know something about

810
01:02:04.400 --> 01:02:09.240
themselves. Just give it to them of yourself, love them, value them,

811
01:02:09.400 --> 01:02:12.760
support them. Don't abandon them. That kind of thing.

812
01:02:13.600 --> 01:02:16.400
As opposed to how do I make them feel that they are?

813
01:02:16.440 --> 01:02:21.200
How do I get them to know that they are? How do I just give it to them?

814
01:02:21.400 --> 01:02:24.440
Like what we were talking about with the whole Black Lives Matter and the whole

815
01:02:24.440 --> 01:02:28.840
thing about where God says, don't just send somebody away who's hungry,

816
01:02:29.600 --> 01:02:32.120
you know, and needs clothes and, you know, needs to be warm.

817
01:02:32.120 --> 01:02:35.360
Said, Oh, you know, may the Lord bless you. And you know, you know,

818
01:02:35.360 --> 01:02:39.520
may you be warm. You know, I'm with you. I'm speaking kindly.

819
01:02:39.520 --> 01:02:42.600
I'm speaking to your lap. He says, feed them.

820
01:02:44.120 --> 01:02:48.600
Give them something. Do it. Don't help them know that they're, that they are.

821
01:02:49.040 --> 01:02:53.040
No, give it. So does that,

822
01:02:53.040 --> 01:02:57.160
does that help Priscilla or not? Or does that give you more of what?

823
01:03:00.240 --> 01:03:04.080
Yeah, no, that helps. I think it's all, I don't know for me,

824
01:03:04.080 --> 01:03:08.800
I feel like that's one of the like kind of slow going in that area.

825
01:03:08.800 --> 01:03:10.520
I don't know if you can hear me. Okay. I think my,

826
01:03:10.880 --> 01:03:14.680
my microphone on my iPhone is kind of weird, but yeah,

827
01:03:14.680 --> 01:03:18.520
I feel like I'm slowly learning in the area of business.

828
01:03:18.520 --> 01:03:22.000
Like I feel like I'm so scarred from being burned out that I have just like

829
01:03:22.000 --> 01:03:25.760
avoid, avoid everything business right now.

830
01:03:27.400 --> 01:03:31.040
But yeah, no, it gives me a lot to think about.

831
01:03:32.320 --> 01:03:34.960
When you burnt out and I know this from personal experience,

832
01:03:34.960 --> 01:03:38.680
you remember when the Lord called me back into business, I was like, no. And I,

833
01:03:38.680 --> 01:03:43.600
and I dragged my feet for a year and a half because I was sober now. And finally,

834
01:03:43.600 --> 01:03:46.840
I decided to trust him. It was, it was all in the soul. It was all,

835
01:03:46.840 --> 01:03:50.320
I have to work for it because I don't have it. I have to struggle.

836
01:03:50.320 --> 01:03:52.680
I have to strive. I have to find it. They, they,

837
01:03:52.680 --> 01:03:56.960
they call me and I have to work really hard to be there, to be a good friend,

838
01:03:57.400 --> 01:04:02.240
to do, to, to love them, to try to see who they are. It's all this work,

839
01:04:02.480 --> 01:04:05.520
but if you just know who you are and you operate all that out of that place,

840
01:04:05.520 --> 01:04:07.760
you do all of this stuff you were trying to do.

841
01:04:07.760 --> 01:04:09.960
Only you do it effortlessly without thinking about it.

842
01:04:11.040 --> 01:04:13.480
That's what the burnout is. And that's what all the heart is.

843
01:04:13.480 --> 01:04:15.400
That's what, that's what the whole thing is.

844
01:04:15.720 --> 01:04:19.160
Someone calls you on your phone and, and you, and you just,

845
01:04:19.240 --> 01:04:22.840
and you feel like this rock sink down into your stomach and like head gum it,

846
01:04:23.360 --> 01:04:27.760
you know, I really, I just, I can't talk to another person. Oh, here we go again.

847
01:04:27.760 --> 01:04:30.440
I've got, I felt, you know, they're always really sweet to talk to,

848
01:04:30.440 --> 01:04:34.960
but I'm dreading this phone call. It's, it's the, we think we have to work for it.

849
01:04:34.960 --> 01:04:39.120
We think we have to give something we don't have and therefore we have to drum

850
01:04:39.120 --> 01:04:43.200
it up. We don't trust ourselves. We don't see that this is who we are.

851
01:04:43.320 --> 01:04:45.720
And so that's where all of that burnout is coming from.

852
01:04:48.960 --> 01:04:49.800
Does that make sense?

853
01:04:51.880 --> 01:04:53.960
Yeah, that makes sense. And yeah, I can totally,

854
01:04:56.320 --> 01:05:00.040
totally relate to the whole rock in the, in the, yeah, rock in the stomach.

855
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:01.000
Like when there's phone call.

856
01:05:02.160 --> 01:05:08.480
Exactly, exactly. And that was the best thing I could think of at the time. And trust me, if you give me a couple of minutes, I'd be able to think of better with you.

857
01:05:09.080 --> 01:05:19.280
But, um, because now I don't dread it when when when contact when when clients can't contact me and whatever because I know I have what it is that they need because I me

858
01:05:20.280 --> 01:05:26.200
That that's how I that's how I know it. I'm spirit and spirit knows all things. I have no idea what questions that y'all are going to

859
01:05:26.600 --> 01:05:32.800
That y'all are going to present me on Marco Polo or on here. I answer all these questions. I can't prepare for this.

860
01:05:33.320 --> 01:05:41.840
Me tonight. I had a couple of questions that shocked me. I was like, oh, I've got questions to come in with normally I get on. I'm like, I have no idea what y'all are going to come up with

861
01:05:42.400 --> 01:05:51.880
And so I just come in. I'm like, okay, here I am. And I know that I have what it is that they need because what you need is spirit. You don't need my my

862
01:05:52.880 --> 01:05:57.680
You don't need something that I drum up out of my soul. You need spirit and

863
01:05:59.600 --> 01:06:00.640
I love talking to you.

864
01:06:01.640 --> 01:06:22.640
It's like talking with everybody but and so just know that you that you have what you need. Priscilla, all of you do that talking very specifically to your Brazil, you have everything that you need and you need to you, you have permission by God, who created you and put you in this position to be able to trust yourself.

865
01:06:22.840 --> 01:06:34.760
So, um, you're not something that is a problem that has to be put out of the way in order to give someone what they need from you. You are what they need.

866
01:06:35.320 --> 01:06:45.920
And so just just answer the phone call. See what it is they they need don't work for it. Don't try for it. Don't try to think, okay, I hope I answered this question correctly.

867
01:06:45.920 --> 01:06:49.800
Just speak from your heart, speak from your spirit. It doesn't have to even sound professional

868
01:06:51.080 --> 01:07:00.440
Just talk to them and be real. And then they'll have what it is that they need. Give them your spirit and your spirit will transform them because the, the, it's the present. It's

869
01:07:01.040 --> 01:07:09.200
The Spirit of God and coming to this presence of the Spirit of God that transforms people. So, and just just trust yourself. You remember

870
01:07:09.200 --> 01:07:21.360
I like she's this example. You remember Elsa in Frozen 1 she was she was just operating and somewhere, somehow, she, you know, because of what happened with Ana, she thought that

871
01:07:21.920 --> 01:07:34.640
That she that the good thing that she had that was what other people needed was actually a destructive thing. And so she did. And then suddenly, nobody could have what they needed from her.

872
01:07:34.640 --> 01:07:40.160
Because she was lied to in her home mind that she couldn't be trusted.

873
01:07:41.400 --> 01:07:56.200
And so, so anyway, just, just know that that you don't have to work for it. It's something that you have inside you. And when you talk, people will listen. When you talk, it will change their lives.

874
01:07:56.400 --> 01:08:07.520
People will listen. When you talk, it will change their lives and you don't have to prepare for it. You don't have to have learned a business strategy, you just speak from your spirit and you speak from the heart.

875
01:08:08.800 --> 01:08:13.760
So we can talk more about this, you know, if you've got if you come up with more questions.

876
01:08:17.680 --> 01:08:18.279
Thank you.

877
01:08:18.960 --> 01:08:19.640
You're welcome.

878
01:08:20.640 --> 01:08:32.680
Well, and I think that I actually need to go. But if y'all have any other questions that y'all wanted to discuss or talk about just feel free. I'm sorry to have to cut it off. I have someone that I've said was

879
01:08:33.520 --> 01:08:44.319
That a friend that's going to call me. So I'm like, I'm going from one thing to another tonight. So I told them that it finished at nine. So I have to go. But if y'all have any questions, just feel free to put them in the group.

880
01:08:44.319 --> 01:08:49.359
And it's a great place for me to just be able to answer them. Some of them I delayed until this meeting, just because

881
01:08:49.800 --> 01:09:03.640
Just so that I would have more time to be able to flush that out because it was so important. And that if y'all have anything, just feel free to put them in the group. I can answer it there or I can or private message me and I can talk. So I love Marco Polo, by the way, for those of you on it. So

882
01:09:04.720 --> 01:09:07.560
Anyway, well, good to see all of y'all.

883
01:09:08.319 --> 01:09:08.720
Thank you.

884
01:09:10.439 --> 01:09:11.279
Yeah, thank you.

885
01:09:11.399 --> 01:09:13.160
Yeah, thank you, Ashley.

886
01:09:13.399 --> 01:09:14.760
I see everyone again.

887
01:09:16.200 --> 01:09:16.680
All right.

888
01:09:17.319 --> 01:09:17.960
Right. Yeah.

889
01:09:18.000 --> 01:09:18.319
Bye.