Good. You are the first person tonight. I've never had this happen, where I know you, especially stuff decks is usually the first person on here. And so I have literally never and never been where
People it's what almost like eight after and there's like nobody
Weird. I know people are going to eventually jump on because
Anyway, so kind of strange.
That's funny. That's so funny.
I can't believe you made it. That's wonderful.
It was great. Great.
Marco Polo. Perfect. Yes. Good.
Excellent.
So excited.
How to have dominion and how to do that. But so it's not like, oh, this is like this magical formula and it works like this every time. It's that God's like, okay, I want them to to trust me. I want them to know that I come through. And so he starts talking. He's, he's, we're gaining. He's gaining our trust, so to speak, and then eventually so that we trust.
Not on how it manifests, but right now when we're young, when we're like first stepping out in it like, I don't know, that's gonna work.
He like shows that he's like, see, I told you, I'm going to be there and like, oh, wow, you really and then eventually we don't have to actually see it in order for it to us to still believe his character is so now I'll ask him for things. Hey, Amy.
And now I'll ask him for things and
And it's really, it's really interesting that sometimes things haven't worked out exactly the way that I had anticipated. And hey, Carrie.
But I'm still learning I and I don't try. I don't question his character. So because my mom. I'm now all
The whole how it worked out and having
I no longer I no longer and hold his character hostage.
And so whatever happens happens. I'm like, oh, well, it didn't change the fact that I know for sure that God's good like isn't I still feel it isn't I still trust it. I still have faith. It's not like, oh, well, I know God's good, but I'm hurt. No, I'm like, I'm not hurt. Okay, well, I don't understand. And so I'll ask, okay, so
So is this me. So is there something in some way that I wasn't believing. Is there some way that I was thinking that your character wasn't something that it actually is, you know, it is again this whole journey. But anyway, but yeah.
Time I tell someone, hey, look, step out in faith and just do it. Okay. And they do it. It works every single time.
No, I want them to know. Anyway, yeah.
No, I want them to know. Anyway.
Yeah, so this is Carrie I was telling Susan, it's her first time to be on here with all of you, but she watches the replays because normally she's with her.
First preparing for worship you prepare for you like
Yeah, well, I, I'm my title is producer.
Which means everything. I'm like, you know, coordinating everything, putting it all together. So
She doesn't usually
Hasn't been able to make it the past several times. So excited. Yeah.
Well, and I have
Have one question to start out with. So carries. I appreciate that. By the way, how you feeling.
I'm feeling good. Yeah, I'm just very, very pregnant.
Very pregnant.
August nine
August nine on my word. So, well, a month and a half.
Yeah, yeah, month and a half. Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, um, okay. So anyway, so your question. And so what carried asked in in the Facebook group. She asked this day, which I appreciate having a question like start the ball rolling
And that is, and she was she was as well.
I hate to reword it. How would you, how would you word it, Gary?
I was just wondering how to know
For sure, or if there is a way to know that God promised you something versus I want this
And I'm just hoping that he's this good that he's going to show up in this area. I was thinking specifically about the house. We've been looking at and stuff.
So I think most of you guys saw that post
So that's kind of a little bit of the background story like how and Josh and I have still been working through all that like how
do we know that if if that's a house that God promised us versus just
that has always been a dream of mine and
I really hope and I believe that God's gonna come through for us in that. So yeah, that makes sense. Yes
First of all, I wanted to mention something that I didn't mention last time and that is the fact that
That you know how everything was just seemed like it was just
There was God's hand in it the whole time. You're like, oh my word is just so obvious
You know all of these things that shouldn't happen are happening. But then when it finally came down to it, it didn't happen
You know, you know that at that time and in that moment
So what on earth is going on and then it can kind of if we're not careful just kind of we can kind of write off
Everything that happened over that point
But a lot of times what God is doing is and I hadn't mentioned this last time is it's the fact that
That he's trying to prove. Hey, look you thought I couldn't do it and look not just once but how many things I made sure
Happened so that you could know I can do it at any time
So mean that the fact that you don't that I haven't manifested that
for you
yet
Doesn't mean that I can't at a moment's notice
So he's trying to build the faith in his character in fact that on my word
It's so obvious. He really can't really do whatever and so it's not reflective of some kind of like meanness in his character
We're like a tease
It's the opposite. He's trying to prove his goodness not prove the fact that oh look I could do anything
But I'm not going to it's just so that so that you know, you know that okay
So if we don't have it yet, if there's if it hasn't manifested yet, there's some
God God's very aware of it. He's very hands-on and
And he's in there. Y'all are still taking taking your journey
Now what what y'all are gonna learn in that journey and an old purpose of the fact of well, it'll come eventually
But it's not right now that I don't know, you know
We just it's all part of like taking this journey and trusting Lord
So I just wanted to mention that is that it's still evidence of God's goodness. God's like you look I'm proving
I can do it in the time
then as far as like something actually
Manifesting yeah
another point to make is that
That yet this is something that God has for y'all
Again, you don't have to have he did it's not like you have to know what it is
Exactly that God's promised in order to be able to focus on that thing and bring it into the manifestation
Like Lord, I need an object. I need something to believe you for we don't need to believe God for anything specific
We need to believe his character that he is that good that he is that love and then just allow him to manifest it
however, he desires and
so we can't we don't have to worry that oh what if this is what God wants for us or
What if it isn't and I and I really need to know because I need to believe in for things and that may not be
What you're asking but I do know that that's what a friend of mine has talked to me a lot about recently
Well, you know Lord
I've been asking Lord for a specific amount because I need to believe him for something and and I and they're not asking my opinion
So I didn't tell them my opinion, but I'm thinking no, no, you don't need to believe him or anything
You don't need a specific dollar not to believe him for or you just you just need to believe his his character
In fact that he will provide and then back off and just focus with our full expectation on him
and not on what it is that we are
and
Not on an on an object or a specific
I mean lack of a better phrase of vision or a picture
Um, so we don't have to have that weight of
Is it okay to latch on to this house?
Is it okay to or is it wrong to latch on to this house? We don't want to
latch on to anything and
We want to focus on we want to expect
have our
in the Lord. We can desire things, but to attach ourselves where we're
subconsciously obligating God. God, I'm holding you accountable to come through
in this way and give this thing to me. That is an unhealthy attachment. Desiring
something and enjoying it and all that, there's nothing wrong with that. That's
perfectly fine. I just wanted to make that distinction.
So as far as how do we know whether it's something that we just really, really,
really, really want or it's something that's promised to us, that's something
that we really honestly just have to journey with the Lord to
understand. But I can say that in the journey, in learning how to do it, you're
going to have kind of have two things going on at one time where there's an
element of what it is that we're used to operating in. Like say for instance, we'll
just make it easy and just say the soul, that we're used to operating in the soul
and we're trying to learn how to operate in this spirit. And we can have a bit of
both going on where it's best to like completely abandon one and move into the
other, but we're learning how to do it. And so there's God's very
understanding, and I don't mean that he turns a blind eye to it, but he's very
understanding of the fact that there's going to be a transition phase of like
trying to understand, okay, so Lord, I'm still trying to understand what this is
but all I know is this. So I kind of need this to give myself a
baseline of what this might possibly be because this is different than this one.
And so you've got to have a kind of a way of comparing and you're like, okay,
well, my part of my faith is here and part of my faith is here and I'm
learning to, I'm learning to transition. So that's okay. And me, so in other
words, there are ways we're like, okay, well, anyway, I just want to
mention that. Hopefully that wasn't, that didn't confuse what I'm
about to say. What you can do as far as practically, like how to begin to shift
into this spirit when you're used to operating in the soul.
So say, hey Jonathan, hi. Are you going to join us tonight? I'm so glad. How are you doing?
He's never joined us for a Zoom call before. He's my friend. We've been in church together, so he's watching.
I said, who is that? I said, it's Ashley.
So for those of y'all who don't know, Jonathan is, he just graduated. It's a very big year for him.
He graduated, he had his birthday all, right? What was it? Was it April part?
He had a birthday parade led by the police and the fire department. Very exciting.
And then they are about to move like on Monday. So it's a very big couple of months for him.
Yeah, we've been busy. Sorry.
But yeah, so Jonathan is very, very special. He senses the spirit. He's very, very sensitive to the spirit.
So I like being around Jonathan. He's very, very peaceful because he knows the Lord.
So anyway, what we can do as far as like practically in learning how to,
and when we're learning how to shift is to look for where your peace is at.
And so be okay with the fact that your peace might be here sometimes and your peace might be here sometimes.
I know how to believe him like this. I know how to believe him for something.
And Lord, my desire is for a house. My desire is for this specific house.
And so to what level that you have peace, you can operate there.
And if there's a measure of peace in which you believe, yeah, but God,
I can believe your character without having to believe for a specific thing,
without having to have an object on which I'm focused, then you can operate.
You can believe him according to what measure of peace that you have here.
So your peace may not be all in one camp or all in another.
There can be a transition period in which you're just trying to learn.
You're just trying to understand what is this? How does this feel?
How do I know that I'm here versus here?
And God's not just going to be like, well, until you get it perfect.
And until you understand, it's just not going to work.
No, he's very aware of that. It's the way that he created the world to work.
And he wouldn't create the world to work in a way that.
condemned us because, well, we weren't fully believing in one area or another, you know
what I'm saying? So wherever you're filling your peace at, and remember that the peace is in your
spirit. So, or when I say it's in your spirit, your peace is indicative of how much your soul
believes, to what degree your soul believes God. So if your soul believes God, that God is
X good, but he's not Y good, well then just believe that he's X good. God, I believe that
you would give me a, this specific house, or a specific house, or I don't know, that would give
me two-thirds of the things that I asked for, and I believe that you'd give me that much.
And then there, but then there are other days in which you believe, no, I believe that he'd give
me 100% of what I've asked for, and I believe specifically he'd give me this house. Then
believe him for that. The point isn't him manifesting in a specific result, the point is
you learning to, to trust how big that he is, and that's a journey to discover
how much we're believing him, and to what extent that he says that we can believe him, etc. It's
not this formula anymore that, oh, well, if this is how I feel, then this is what it means.
Where we all have to learn that in our own relationship, I mean, that would be like,
that would be like a marriage counselor thinking that they could make your, that, that your
marriage is cookie cutter to everybody else's marriage, and they can tell you exactly what to
say to your husband, and exactly what he needs to say to you in order to get the marriage to work.
He doesn't. A marriage counselor can't do that. They can give you like general ideas, but then
you have to figure out between the two of you and your relationship how it needs to work.
It's the same thing with the Lord. It's all based off of relationship, and so therefore,
I can give you kind of general, general direction, but you eventually, you have to
ultimately work it out because you know the feelings between the two of you. I had to do
the same thing, and, and I still do. I remember asking this to someone before, and like, okay,
so how do I know if I'm out claiming God, and, and they gave me the same answer I'm giving you,
which is that's something you have to work out, and, and just figure out with the Lord in
relationship, the two of you on your own, but the general idea is to understand that He gives us
grace to, to, to, to operate wherever our peace is at, and an element of our peace we feel in our
soul, and we can reside there, and then the other element of our peace we feel in the Spirit
because we're trying to learn to shift. They're both okay to abide in simultaneously in the
transition as you're learning. Does that make sense at all, at least in a general direction?
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Yeah, I, I feel like, I feel the contradiction
majorly, like the past couple days to where there's things in my spirit that I have peace about,
and at the same time, it's the, the only, the way that I know how to sum it up with the phrase that
keeps coming to my mind is that I, I believe God is that good that He can give us that house,
but His love for me isn't based on Him giving me that house,
so at the same time, it's kind of, it's almost contradictory. You know what I'm saying?
Um, yes, and yes, so, um, you believe, okay, yeah, yes, I do. However, be encouraged that
it's not contradictory. Okay. No, in fact, that's perfect, because think about it. God,
think about what the Israelites, the Israelites, God gave them a specific promise, and He said,
um, okay, how did I, how did I read this? He gave them a specific promise, but the thing was that
He was trying to express His character, but it, His character, but God would still be good even
if He didn't give them the promised land. He could have given them something else. He could have not
given them anything, and yet He would still not only be good, He would show them goodness,
but He wanted them to see it in terms in which they understood, so He gave them an object that
made sense in their world that if God would do this for me, that means He's good, so He was
language, but you're right. He doesn't have to speak our language in order for God to speak His.
So in other words, the promise is a translation of your language into our language.
So you're understanding, hey, as long as God is speaking his language, he doesn't have
to be speaking mine in order for him to still be loving me.
So that was one of the things you were saying when you were saying, you know, well, whether
or not he gives me that house, that doesn't change his love for me.
You're understanding he doesn't have to speak your language in order for him to still be
loving you.
But the love languages, remember we talked about love languages last time.
As long as God is loving you, he may not be speaking your love language, but it doesn't
mean he's not loving you and for you to get over the fact that, well, he has to speak
my love language in order for me to love, for you to get over that and choose to receive
love from him based off of how he wanted to communicate it as opposed to restricting
him to how he wanted to receive it, that is, that's the maturity that he wants us to go
to.
At the same time, he also likes to speak our love language, which is what you were saying
in the other thing.
I know he's so good that he would give me that house.
I know that he would choose to also speak my love language, not just speak mine.
So that's perfect.
That's exactly how it needs to be.
That is to trust him for a way for him manifesting himself in a specific way that's so easy for
us to receive and we just love it, but to not hold him accountable to and obligated
to or we refuse to receive, it's actually not a contradiction.
It's exactly the way it should be.
When I first started feeling that way, I felt like it almost put a fear in me that is my
rest or my lack of resistance, is that just me basically giving up and dying on the floor?
Is the assurance and the knowledge that God's just going to work everything out, is that
my way of not having enough faith to manifest his promises sound injured?
Does that make sense?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
You mean like letting go and kind of like, oh, well, God's going to provide all my clients
so therefore all I have to do is put on the couch.
Right.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
Okay.
So-
That's been one thing.
I know where our peace, I mean, we know where our peace is at very specifically.
I need to just call.
We need to have another one-on-one session.
I can update you on everything.
Okay.
I feel like I'm going to bore all the other ladies here.
But just to make it short, like Josh and I are still very much, our peace is very much
that we're going to get the house.
The house is under contract and we're like, okay, we don't know what to do.
I was like, literally, like I have more peace going and starting to pack up our stuff than
I do staying here.
And it doesn't make sense.
And I'm like, I don't understand it, but I know where our peace is at.
And then there's that whole aspect of like knowing that God's going to work it out and
trusting him that even if we don't get the house, he still loves us and he's still good.
So then I'm left between this, like not doing anything because I trust him and then trying
to do something because I trust him.
Yes.
That's perfect.
I don't know if that made any sense.
Oh, it makes a hundred percent sense.
Yeah.
I think of probably like one time out of a hundred, will somebody actually say something
where like, I'm sorry, that doesn't make sense.
Can you erase it?
It sounds that confusing in all of our heads.
So when someone says that, I'm like, I totally understand.
Cause I thought nobody else would understand me that we all think like that.
So yes, so the thing is that what, yeah, you're right.
Stopping all activity, so to speak, unless God just gives you a piece for no activity,
that usually it's indicative of the fact that we've given up.
We think that it's hopeless.
We think that if I do any activity that we're trying to put a spiritual term on it and say,
oh, well, I know God's got it.
So I don't have to do, but really what we're saying is we're trying to make it really sound
spiritual to us, but really you do not believe that anything, uh, that it's actually going
to turn out.
We don't believe that it's going to come through.
And if we do any activity, it's going to be wasted because it's not actually going to
do anything anyway.
So it can be indicative of that doesn't mean that it's, that that's always what it means
that it can often.
And so what we do though, is we just reside in the Father's heart. We just abide there.
And know, okay, if I knew for 100% sure that this is what God is going to do, what would I do?
How would I live my life if I actually believed what God said?
How would I live my life? What activities would I do?
In other words, I was talking to a client about this today.
We've associated doing things with a result.
So if God's got the result, there's no point in doing anything.
We think that the point of doing something is because it's actually going to generate a result.
So we don't understand, no, God intended for us to do all kinds of things.
He didn't intend for it to be connected to a result.
In other words, to generate the results.
But we still do things.
When God gave him dominion over creation, and yet he just told him, he said, I want you to govern it.
I want you to have dominion over it.
But that God would have still provided for the earth.
It wasn't like, you know, and God still provides the increase and then Adam just governs it.
We don't see value in activity and in doing things unrelated to actually using them,
like grabbing creation and using it for our purposes in order to get a result.
How do we have the opportunity to do things without that weight and burden of a responsibility
that what it is we do makes or breaks the result?
Right. And that's what I told Josh.
I said, I'm afraid that my action is trying to force God's hand into doing something if it's not actually what he wants.
My actions would be in a way manipulating him into being like, basically another way to just hold him accountable.
Like, look, don't you see all the things that I did?
And you still didn't come through.
Yeah, correct. So again, we want to abide in the Father.
And abiding in the Father, okay, what do we want to do?
God's going to provide the result regardless of what it is that I want to do.
I mean, regardless of what it is that I do.
So together, me with the Father in our relationship, journeying together, dancing together.
What do we do today?
You know, do we dance or do we, and I'm just, you know, making stuff up.
Do we dance or do we go to a movie together?
Do we eat together?
Do we work on our business together?
Meaning like not work on it, but like, do we do a Facebook post?
Do I do a video?
Do I call a client?
Do I, what sounds fun?
What sounds fun for me to live and be without thinking that?
Because see, when I interact with my clients, when I get on here, I do this because this is how I live my life.
I don't do it because I'm serving my client.
I don't do it because I'm making people happy and, or I'm trying to make people happy.
And I'm, and I'm doing this and I'm trying to get a result.
I do it because this is how my spirit flows.
This is how I've chosen to live my life with the Lord, abiding in my Father.
What do I want to do today?
I'm going to do this and I'm going to do that.
And I'm going to interact with people like this.
I don't, I don't think that these things are getting me any kind of result or not getting me any kind of result.
They're totally detached from a result.
I am now living where my Father provides for me all the time.
So if my Father provides for me all the time, what do I want to do with my life?
What do I want to wake up and do since I'm not obligated to do anything?
And so you just, so the activities that you do should be related to the, you know, your spirit.
You're sensing the Father's heart.
You're sensing your heart together.
What, what activities do we want to do?
Because God's taking care of the result.
So what I do has no bearing on the results.
So because I'm totally free of any obligation, what do I want to do?
What is in me that makes me feel alive when I do it?
And for me, it's this.
And, and then sometimes it's doing dishes.
And sometimes it's going and seeing a friend.
And I mean, it does all kinds of things because I'm no longer, I'm no longer trying to get a result.
Because that's a burden that we put on the whole list.
Like that's why it feels weighty and heavy and burdensome.
So we don't, doing activities from that place, knowing that a result is not attached to it,
is not manipulative.
He laid in God or forcing his hands.
It's when we're outside of relationship with him and we're looking at him separate from us. And okay, God, we're expecting. Okay, I'm learning that God's going to provide the result.
So therefore, I don't want to do anything. And God's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. The whole purpose is
Abide in me. Let's live life together. Let's do things together. So just focus on abiding me don't focus on doing anything focus on abiding in me. Okay, now that you're buying me. What do we want to do
I'm taking care of the result. What do we want to do together, you know,
That so you don't no longer have to worry about, am I doing something is my activity manipulating God, where is your piece that when you're abiding with the Lord. So just only focus on abiding with the Lord. Don't focus on what it is you're doing and should be doing
And am I doing it right spirit and just forget all that it's it's complicated. It's burdensome. Just let it go and just think I want to abide in the Lord. Okay, abiding in the Lord sensing his heart sensing my heart.
And his spirit flowing through mine. I remember that that remember what I always walk myself through Christ, I believe that I was taken out
You and
Me, me, my father and the father abides in us. Therefore, I'm always about my father's business. So for us all flowing together. What does it feel like we want to do today. And I just go and I do that.
And in the end, and that's all God wants God wants us to live life abiding in him. And when we abide in him. We're going to do all of these activities that we decided together with the Father's heart to do
So fun to do
So, so trusting the father is not inactivity abiding rest is not inactivity abiding and rest means that the results are not attached and to my action and I'm
All
My, my actions are totally detached and and there's no they're not dependent. That's what I was looking for. They're not dependent on my actions and it leaves me free to let my spirit flow and to do the things that make me feel a lot because I'm not obligated to do anything else.
I'll be taken care of regardless
That makes sense. I feel like
That makes sense.
The thing
Which is very typical
But no, I think a lot of sense. It's, it felt like a really complicated question. And it's, it's, yeah, you made a lot of sense.
Of the different all the different avenues that I was wondering
Today, I'm so analytical and it's actually
It's actually
That people crazy until I came to understand why God gave me that kind of thing is because it enables me to foresee because as a turnaround consultant, what I would do is I would see things and
From
I would anticipate, and this is what I would be paid to do I it's kind of risk that what they refer to incorporate and corporate role is risk management where you anticipate all of the possible ways that something could go wrong and you plan for them and you mitigate the risk.
So I say it's risk management, it's risk mitigation is what it is and you plan for all possible scenarios. And so I do that when I answer questions because I think not just the simple answer. I think, you know, what are all of the things that someone
Before someone even has to ask. I mean, before they have to ask this question. So, yeah.
Very cool picture and it gives people assurance that what it is that that are spoken in the Bible can be on any
Yeah.
Settings like this, but when
Your, your family. It doesn't always go over it.
One thing. That's one thing I've always enjoyed about our conversations is that you make me feel very normal because you just come at it at all these different angles and you answer all these things before I even had to ask them, and I always enjoy that about you because you just add the next thing I was going to ask you is usually what you answer before you can get a chance to ask you.
Thank you so much ladies, so much.
Bye bye.
They'd be like, Ashley, shorten the story, bullet point.
I'm like, then it's not a good story.
I don't want to tell it.
They want like a sketch.
I'm like, no, no, no.
I want to make it like colorful and 3D,
and no one would appreciate it.
But God was preparing me for people
like you who think it's important, so I appreciate it.
So did you have any part of the question,
though, honestly, that I didn't answer that it created a new one?
No.
No, I feel like it's, yeah, we just,
you just take one day at a time right now and stuff like this.
I mean, it feels like a whole different dynamic
of a relationship that I, with the Lord,
that I've never had to walk in before.
And it's just, every day you just wake up,
and you just live your day, and you kind of just, I don't know,
float around in and out.
It's been a very interesting experience,
but I know you answered all of my questions, so thank you.
So something, again, thinking and anticipation
is something that could come up.
I encourage you, encourage all of us,
to not condemn ourselves for how we journey as well,
because it's not just the thing that we're struggling with.
And I'm not saying that you're thinking this about your journey.
But I have talked to other people
that get concerned and think this about their journey,
that they think, oh, it's not just the struggle that,
you know, that I have, the thing that was triggered,
the record that apparently it is that I had an accusation
against God that I'm needing to deal with,
but actually learning how to shift out of that.
Oh, my word, Ashley, it's so messy, and it's so ugly,
and I think badly about, you know, I shouldn't be like this,
and it's probably very unhealthy.
What we don't understand is also how we're journeying
and how we're shifting are also things
that are being triggered.
The records of accusations that we've had against God,
how we're journeying out of it, how we're shifting,
and whether it's, quote, unquote, healthy or not,
is also evident of accusations we have against the Lord.
And we need to be okay with it.
We need to be okay with the fact that not just what it is
that we're trying to journey and shift from,
but actually the process of the transition,
we can sometimes condemn ourselves for thinking,
I bet you this is not a healthy way to transition,
but I don't know how to transition the other way.
You know, and this is probably really bad.
It's probably really unhealthy, and da-da-da-da-da-da.
I was talking to someone the other one time
who was talking to me about that,
and I just wanted to assure them,
like I want to assure us, that to have grace for ourselves,
like we're learning to have for the struggle
and where it is we're coming from
and what it is that was revealed to us
that God's like, hey, you've got this accusation against me.
How do we journey out of that
and the process of the shuffling and the,
I'm in, I'm out, I'm operating in soul,
and I'm operating in spirit, and I bounce back and forth,
and I'm trying to, I'm battling the idea
of spiritual warfare and clinging to that
and trying to remember not have to cling to that,
and actually this is probably just nothing unhealthy,
and it's a problem.
No, it's fine, so we need to have,
we need to release the journey as well,
not just release the struggle of the thing
that was created in us like jealousy
or hurt or anxiety or whatever,
but anything that wells up in us
that's in a state of resistance
against how we are transitioning and shifting as well,
we need to release that as well.
Does that make sense?
So you talked about the fact that you're like,
oh, this is just so new, and I'm trying to figure it out.
The figuring it out is still okay,
and that's if you find yourself struggling
against how you're figuring it out,
you're thinking, I'm probably not figuring it out
in a healthy way.
No, let that go too.
Is that helpful?
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
I was actually really enjoying the Facebook Live
that you had about the spirit healing the soul.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, because I hadn't gotten a chance to watch it
until this week,
and it has just been exactly what I needed this week
because there's been times and days and nights
when things just didn't make sense,
and I had no idea what I was feeling, what was going on,
and I could feel this tension building up inside of me,
and I literally had no idea where it was coming from
or what was going on,
and that teaching was just so timely, so incredible.
So I guess there was a reason why I waited
like three weeks to watch it, two weeks,
but it was, yeah, it's been an extremely helpful teaching
through this time.
Good, good.
I think because you are the Lord,
and the Lord knows when you need to hear what.
And so, you know, we think, oh, man, I'm behind or I'm, because people have told me that I'm
behind.
I'm like, no, you're not.
You're not, you're not behind.
It's that your journey is your journey with the Lord and the Lord knows when you need
to hear what.
And so, yeah, he just, he just guides us and, and, and we need to stop thinking it's got
to happen a particular way and put this stranglehold of control on how we journey in life.
And God's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
And so, yeah, that's good to know.
That's good timing.
So did anyone have any other questions?
It's 8.48.
Oh, it worked.
How long was I talking?
I'm thinking I just come on here and take up all the group sessions for the past two
weeks.
So I'm going to mute myself, not eat my eggs.
Eggs and watermelon.
Oh, we've got to be on camera.
The half of the watermelon is in the fridge.
So that's after my eggs.
I'm going to be on camera.
I just had my dinner and it was really good.
It was really good.
Amanda's mom made it for me.
My best friend, she made me some.
I call her, I call her Mama Janet.
Her name's Janet.
I call her Mama Janet.
And so she made me some.
Well, she had dinner and so she said, hey, you want dinner.
I was like, I was not coming over here for dinner, but absolutely.
I was coming to borrow the vacuum, but I will take it.
So does anyone have anything else they wanted to cover?
How are you doing Steph?
I didn't get to say hi earlier.
I'm actually just happy to be here.
I was having some major technical difficulties.
I was going to say it was eight minutes before someone came on and Susan jumped on and is
she, oh, I think she's still on here, but I think that she's has her video off, but
I told her, I said, so I was sitting here by myself for eight minutes and she popped
on and she was like, the ghost is coming here.
I'm like, I know, it's never happened before.
I said, if anyone's on here, it's always Steph.
Steph gets on and then I get on and it's routine and I was like, I don't know if Steph's not
on here.
Oh, I tried for like 15 minutes and it's like, okay.
So I restarted the computer and it's like, before I start crying, I'm going to punch
the screen one more time and it actually worked like, oh, okay.
Hey, exactly.
Have dominion.
Yeah.
So anyway, did anyone have anything?
No.
Well, I had.
Oh, you didn't get my thing to unmute.
I was, the screen kept flipping.
I'm just kind of a follow up to that.
First of all, I wanted to say thank you to Carrie for asking that question because it's
exactly what I needed to hear too, again, because I've been talking to Ashley about
that.
So you don't have to apologize for taking all the time because that covered what I was
needing to hear too, but I wanted to follow that up with just some like cobwebs that linger
in my head on this topic from things that you, that I've heard all my life about, you
know, from, from typical Christianity about God's plan for your life and God's promises
and all that.
So the questions are, can you miss God's promise or plan?
Like from what I've learned from this group, basically.
So can our resistance, obviously our resistance would prevent us from receiving what God has
for us.
So I guess that would be a way that we could like miss it, but will God, I mean, it's,
it's still this thing in my head.
It's like, okay, so am I big enough to mess up God's plan for my life or any, not just
my big major plan, but just any plans that God has for me?
I think the answer is yes, but I just would like to hear your response to that.
Yeah.
So I don't know.
I don't know.
It's like, because I know like our, it always comes down to our will and God's sovereignty
and I have trouble balancing those.
And we already talked about that one, but I need you to talk about it again.
Yeah.
No, no, no, no.
I'm more than happy to readdress questions, you know, when, when we just have to kind
of be reminded, I'm the same way.
I'm like, okay, I've heard this before.
Can you tell me again?
It's why I rewatch teachings, you know, from, from people I'm like, okay, I've already learned
this, but I need to watch it again.
I'll watch the same teachings multiple times.
But, um, uh, you know, other people's teaching, but, uh, yeah, so what I was talking to Amy about,
and I don't remember if I mentioned this, I don't remember if I mentioned this somewhere
in the group, but, uh, when, uh, when God gives us a promise, it's important for us to be, it's,
God will always fulfill it. However, what we can do is by our own free will choose to not receive
it. Cause remember what a promise is, the whole point of a promise, we've, we've, we've really
gotten it backwards. And we thought that the whole point of a promise was actually the thing
that we're, that we think we're supposed to believe God for. We think the point of the
promise is the manifestation. And the point of the promise is an invitation in order to believe
that God's character is what it is, that he's declaring it to be, that he's giving us a promise
in order to help us in order to, um, uh, show us the manifestation of the extent of his character.
So the whole point of a promise is an invitation to believe he's as big as he's declaring he is
when he stated that promise. Um, so that's the whole point of a promise. It's not the manifestation
of it. Um, so therefore we, we can, uh, um, we can not, we can see it not fulfilled in our lives
because we've chosen to not receive it. So that's what she and I were talking about the other day.
And then I also posted that thing. Was it today? I think it was today. I posted that, that a little
short write-up about the Israelites talking about how, you know, the first generation,
God promised it to them, but they didn't have, they didn't receive it because they said, no,
God, you're not that good. And so the second generation, Moses said, Hey, look, your parents
did not believe God. You have the opportunity to receive the promise if you choose to actually
believe God. So are you going to do it? You have the choice and the free will as to whether or not
you get to receive it is, um, now, so we do have that power because God is not going to, uh, usurp
our free will. Um, but, um, so I'm trying to think if, uh, if there's another way to answer,
I mean, like an additional help that I can give you to answer the question you're talking about,
talking about, you know, am I so powerful to mess up God's, um, God's, um, you know, destiny,
so to speak, it's calling on my life and whatever the focus, uh, and the point is relationship with
him. And we can choose to reject that. And that is a journey into developing and maturing that
relationship. So if he's like, okay, if you were to work in, in a full blown, if you, uh, engage
with me, believe that I'm as big as I declare that I am in journey and mature to the point
where, you know, you believe me to X extent, well, then these types of things you're going to watch
manifest, and you're going to have this type of dominion over creation, but, but we start all the
way back here. And if we can, and we're only going to attain, we're only going to journey to the point
to which in the extent to which we do believe that God is, he says that he is. So it's that
I'm saying the same thing, but to address the whole, to address it in light of the picture of
our entire lives of can I miss God's calling? Well, God's ultimate calling is relationship with
him and receiving him, receiving who he is, receiving his love and his goodness, et cetera.
And we're given multiple opportunities along the way to do it. The point of our life is not that
we have all of these dreams that are in our heart and we see them fulfilled and manifested,
that that's not the point. Those are ways through which God will evidence his goodness and his love
and a picture that helps us grasp and consume it. Is there an element of what you're talking
about, Amy, that I still haven't addressed? No, you make it very simple and it just gets
complicated in my mind. So when you say it again, I'm like, Oh, what was I even thinking?
I probably just needed to hear it again. And I might need to hear it again
to unravel that twisted thinking that's been ingrained in my head from wrong teaching.
Well, I'm glad that you mentioned that because we continue to try to talk ourselves out of it.
And that's a really big point that you just made. We make it too complicated. When someone
says something, a pastor says something, and in our mind we're
We're going through all of the things that have happened in our lives and everybody that we know and all the other scripture references that we read that that we think make what he just said, not true.
We're looking for why it can't be true. Why we can't believe something as opposed to receiving something
And by faith that, oh, well, that is true. And I don't mean swallowing everything whole. I'm not referring to that again. I'm just talking very simple.
Okay, think about it in terms of business complexity is the enemy of business. There's a reason for that. It's because complexity is usually anything
Usually complexity is an indication and hard and strive difficult and challenging
And all of these moving parts that everything in which everything has to be just perfect and just so is a big red flag usually
Or something of this world, a formula, a strategy, all of these
These things that have to work just so in order to actually get a result. And that is an end. That's usually a big red flag for us that that's operating that's operating out of the soul or body in which
We and the way the kingdom of this world works, where there's all of these intricacies that have to be understood utilize manipulated and so whenever we try to take something that is being said, like if God says, well, you can heal.
We think we immediately think of all the people that we've prayed for that had cancer.
Instead of just saying, instead of believing God said we heal. Therefore, I can and I go to a, I go to a church that is known around the world for its healing ministry.
And he said that the youngest person that has gone to his to his healing trainings was sitting there on the front row taking notes and he was eight years old.
And so he went to his little Sunday school class because they didn't go to that church. They went to another church. They were just there for that training.
And he and his parents, you know, went back to their, their church and this little boy went around Sunday school praying for all of the kids and they were all healed.
This is a little eight year old boy. He doesn't know enough to talk himself out of everything that we're saying he was just thought
A man up there goes around raising people from the dead around the world. And he's telling me this. Therefore, this that's what he internalized. So, again,
That's what he internalized. So then all of the parents started finding out from their kids that they were being healed and because so and so in Sunday school prayed for them.
So prayed for him. So they went and so the guy is the boy was asked by the pastor. It got around to the pastor. The pastors went and talked to him.
And then the boy said, well, would you like me to pray for everybody in the adult in the adult service tonight.
Pastors that will serve the little boy had to stand on a chair and pray for people to be killed and they were killed.
And this is just it's we make it too complicated. We're always trying to talk ourselves out of out of why it can't be true. And of all of the exceptions. Well, what about this. What about this. What about this. So anyway,
It really is actually very simple. We are just trying to unlearn all the complicated reasons that we've come up with a white can't be true.
We've made it complicated and we just have to unlearn them. So we can choose to walk ourselves back through addressing every single lie and why it's actually not true or can scrap the whole thing.
And very quickly and just believe this, of course, you know, if we're not manifesting. We just choose to do that. We're not in we
Want to scrap everything I abandoned it and I'm now I just believe this and we're still not seeing the manifestation.
It means that subconsciously we actually haven't scrapped this is too much in our DNA and to we have too many records of it. We don't, we still actually believe them.
Then we have to go through this whole process of dealing with things and like releasing them and and like really truly getting the record out of our soul and our body. So it's just that we eliminate the
The consequences of the lot that the lies have had on us that what that is, is that's overcoming
It's, it's not a fun part of the process that we enjoy. We wanted to just like
We want somebody to touch us and boom, we, we now know and we never go back and
Kind of like the difference between an alcoholic who has to who's just instantly healed.
He prays, ask the Lord to remove his alcoholism where he doesn't desire it more heroin addict. Let's use that one because it's very extreme heroin addict, you know that I'm there. There's an addict.
I mean, they have to have it or they're going to go through extremely severe withdrawals only where the withdrawals that heroin addicts go through is wild.
And so some of these people with what we want. I mean, everyone wants to just be touched and instantly that addiction be removed and any results like any like
Withdrawal symptoms
that they would normally go through. They don't want to have to go through this.
Everybody wants it that way, but then there are other heroin addicts that God
God saves, and they actually have to walk it out. They're overcoming. They are
telling their soul and telling their body in a very deliberate, intentional
process, look we are now believing something different, and they have to
actually walk it out, and they have to go through the withdrawal symptoms, etc.
And those people are not to be disregarded because those people
actually internalize it and own it in a very interesting unique way, and when
they, because they've overcome it for themselves, they now have it to be able
to give other people as well. So, well, I mean, so does the person who
was instantly healed, but there's just an interesting difference between the two.
Neither one is better than the other, but they both have very
interesting purposes, and they're both extremely valuable. So, yeah, we
just make it more complicated. Sometimes we have to unlearn things. So does anyone
have anything else?
Oh, and I'm sorry, Amy, did that answer your question? I thought that it
did, but I just went on. It did? Okay. Okay, well, if there is, one more time, is there
anything else I missed? I'm sorry. Okay, so I wanted to catch everyone up on what I
mentioned in the post about the new season that the Lord has invited me
to move into. Hey, Susan! The new season the Lord has invited me to move
into, where Amy found out in a very surprising way. Like, I'm sorry, Amy, that's
not the way a friend should have found out. But what the Lord did is, so we've
laughed over it many times, and I was telling Renee about it as well, about how
funny that that was, that that's how you found out. But, so a few weeks ago, maybe
about three weeks ago or so, I started feeling it on my heart to start
traveling. A year and a half ago, the plan was for in 2020, I was going to move
to London. So, but anyway, things have just shifted in my relationship with the
Lord to the point where I abide so much in Him. The thing that I was going to
London for to give myself, I now have in Him. So it doesn't matter where it is
that I live and what it is that I'm doing. I have what it was that I was
going to London for. I have it in Him, so I don't need to go to London anymore. I still think that I
probably will at some point, you know, for about like six months or so. Because you
can go to, you can, Britain and the United States have a program
where people from each country can stay in the other without a tourist visa for
six months. So the plan is that I could, I'd go over and stay with a friend of
mine who lives in London and live there for six months, because I love London.
I named my car London, so that's how much I love the city. It's one of my
favorite places in the world. And I had that on my heart, but that desire and
that dream just started to fizzle. I was like, I don't really care anymore because I
have what I want in the Lord. But so a few weeks ago, I was very surprised when
all of a sudden I thought, I want to start traveling. Where would I travel to? What
would I do? And I thought, well, I'll start traveling around the United States. So
anyway, this, the desire grew stronger and stronger. And, and it started to, the way
that it felt there, it was like there was some weight to it. And all of a sudden, I
thought, wait a minute, I know that feeling. It's like, Lord, is that you? As opposed to
me just wanting something. You know how you were talking about Carrie, well, how
do I know if this is the Lord or if this is me wanting it? I have to, I'm having to
figure that out too. I figured it out in certain, in certain times, but it's still a
process in order to understand my relationship with him. So him talking to
me and what's me and what's him and whatever. So I asked him, I said, okay,
Lord, I believe that this is you. And I desire to step out in faith, thinking that
this is you that's inviting me to sell 90 to 95% of all that I own, get in my
little car with my little dog and start traveling around the United States. And
move out of this apartment and not have a house, not have a, not have a home that
I'm staying in. But, you know, this is what I'd like to step out in Lord. But is
this, if this isn't you Lord, I'd like you to.
invite me. I'd like you as my lover to invite me to go on this adventure with you. Like a bridegroom
would do to a bride, right? And so I just told him as a little, that would be very special.
Would you, if this isn't you, would you please invite me to go with you on your adventure,
as opposed to my adventure that you're okaying, that you're going to pay for.
Now then Lord, your adventure. So two nights later, so this is, I've been having this desire
for a few weeks and I finally realized this might be the Lord. So I asked the Lord about it. Two
nights after I asked the Lord about it, I had a dream. I had a prophetic dream and, and he,
I didn't know he was going to tell me in a dream, but he did. So he, the dream was that I was
standing on a map, like a very large map and like kind of like an Atlas or something. I'm standing
on a map and I was standing on the state of Texas and God was walking from Texas across the map
towards the state of Florida. And I don't know why that was in the dream, but it was in the dream
that way. And I didn't know why I was thinking in those terms, but I just, it's kind of like I knew
his intention of where he was going. He's going to Florida. So anyway, he's walking across Southern
United States to Florida. And he turns, he turns around, looks at me, gestures and said, you want
to come with me? I jolted awake. I was like, that is it. I asked for God to invite me and he just
did. I was so excited. So then I knew this is what the Lord wanted me to do. And he was inviting me
to go on this adventure with him to travel, travel around. That meant that he was going to, because
it was his, it's his invitation. It was something I could kind of grab a hold of, of knowing,
okay, God himself told me that this is his adventure and he's going to sustain me. He is,
that's a promise. In other words, I'm playing, that's God's promise to me that he will sustain
me. So I, so anyway, I, that's what I'm going to do. So as you might be able to tell my poor
little apartment is so empty. I'm all moved out. And as soon as I finished this, this call,
I'm going to finish cleaning the apartment and like mop the floors, clean the bathroom. And
I'm not even staying here tonight. So this is, so I am out. This is very serious. So I plan to start
maybe traveling. It's all, it's all very up in the air, all very flexible. I don't know when I'm
going to be where I, I don't know. But I'm probably going to be here until around the end of July,
at least July 18th. And then I'm going to start traveling. I think the first place I'm going to
go is Houston. And then from there, I don't know where I'm going to go. But I, for anybody who
would like me, who would like to, for us to meet in person, you know, please feel free to let me
know. And we can, you know, I can let you know when I'm going to be in that area. Not that I know
now when I'm going to be in your area, but, and then we can, I can swing by and need and, and,
and whatever. So I don't know when, I don't know where I'm going to be when all I know is I'm just
heading out. That's all I know. But all of this has happened very fast. My own family didn't even
hear about it until Sunday. So it's all happened very quickly. So okay, yes, I know I'm going to
have to come to Mississippi. Yeah, I, I haven't mentioned this to Cheryl. And so, so I thought,
oh my goodness, Cheryl and Priscilla and Carrie, they're all Lancaster. And I was talking to
another friend of yours the other day. I'm like, oh, she's a Lancaster too. So anyway, I plan to
just go around. And I don't know when and where I might go across the Southern United States,
up the East coast, you know, Georgia, Carolinas, Virginia. I have a cousin in Washington, DC. I'll
probably go visit him, have him show me around and then go like across the Northern United States
to Seattle. I've got multiple friends in Seattle, down at California, across Arizona. So,
because I've got people in all of those places. And it's always been a goal of mine to go to
Montana. So that is on my list. The problem is I've got to make sure I go at the right time of year
in order to see Glacier National Park before it gets too cold and before all the snow piles. So
we'll just see. I don't know what I'm going to do when. But I wanted to just let everybody know,
here I go on a new season, an adventure with the Lord, where he told me something that I'm
just walking out in relationship with him in. I don't know what it's gonna look
like and where I'm gonna go and what what's gonna happen when and what he's
gonna ask of me next. All I know is this is the direction. So remember what I talk
about is when God gives us something we get a general goal and then we let go of
the goal because the whole point of the goal is the direction. So I've got a
direction and I'm actually making movement and so God can now, God can't
move. He's not gonna move a parked car. He's gonna move one in motion. So no
pun intended. In fact, I will be in a car but you know what I'm saying. So that is
something that I, that's all very fast, all very new and I thought about
mentioning it last week that it was still so new that everything was still
changing and that I didn't, I didn't really, I asked the Lord, okay Lord is it
time to tell people and he said no. Even my family didn't even know until Sunday
and but what here's that one of the interesting aspects of the story. I've
been in this place for ten months. Well the original plan was for me to be here
three months and then they were gonna have some some grandparents come in and
stay here. Well they felt from the Lord without talking to me, no we don't feel
like we need to let Ashley know, hey look as agreed upon, yeah the
grandparents are here. They told the grandparents I'm sorry the
apartment's unavailable because they didn't feel that it was time from the
Lord that it was time for me to go on. I didn't feel that as well so but I
didn't, I didn't tell them that. I mean it's their place and whatever so none of
us had felt that. However, God started talking to me about traveling and and he
began to tell me okay Ashley now it's time and after he told me it was time
they came to me and they said by the way Ashley our parents we plan to move here.
That our parents have planned to move here and we've invited them to come you
know however long ago saying that well eventually at some point we'd like you
to stay here. Well they they came to me and maybe a few weeks ago and he said
Ashley we were not expecting it to happen this fast but they'd like to move
within the next 60 days. They weren't planning on them moving here for another
like year maybe at least at the earliest and all of a sudden their parents
notified them 60 days and they felt this time yeah we believe from the Lord that
this is time for them to move. Well God had already been talking to me about the
fact that Ashley it's time for you to move. So he had talked to their parents
them and me all at the same time and when we all converged we're like God's
all been talking to us on the same the same way. So oh and the funny thing is it
was gonna be 60 days is in the end of July so by the time it was gonna be it
was a month and a half out plans changed due to their realtor and it would move
to a week and a half. Then it moved to no it's actually a week. Then I realized no
I'm watching my nephew this weekend meaning that instead of being out Sunday
I now need to be out Thursday. So I suddenly found out I need to be out in
five days. So instead of a month and a half which was fine and I knew I could
do it. It was one of those things though where you know I know I can do this. I
know this is overboard but I don't know how. I don't know how to pack up all of
this stuff and what needs to go where and what decision I'm going to make and
literally where I'm going to be living. I've got to ask somebody can I stay with
my brother and sister-in-law? Can I stay with Mike and Amanda? Can I stay with my parents?
Where am I going to stay? And not all of those options were available
understand. So I'm like where what am I gonna do? I didn't know how. All I know is
I know kind of like what you were talking about Kerry. You just you just
know but you don't know the how and we need to we need to remove our feel we
need to remove our focus on the how to determine to us that yes we are
actually hearing from God. Just because we don't know the how doesn't mean that
it's not actually true. So I was like I don't know how but I know that
absolutely it can happen and sure enough honestly no problem. I've been able to
work and visit with clients and do calls and I've been able to be
active on Facebook and all kinds of stuff while moving everything out and
selling things. People are coming to pick them up off the porch you know and I'm
negotiating stuff online with them and clean and all of that in five days. So
anyway I just wanted to encourage everybody with the fact that I really am
living this.
new extended measures all the time.
So, I'm sure I'll have more stories about as I travel,
about how, and how the Lord is calling me
to move into greater measures of the cross,
but, and hopefully I get to, you know, see y'all.
So, but anyway, that's my story.
So, but that is all I have to say about that.
Does anybody have anything before we go?
Oh, you claimed West Virginia first.
I'm not seeing that.
That's cute, that's fun.
That's right, I know, I've never been to West Virginia.
That would be fun.
Okay, so I guess we can shut it down for the night
unless somebody has something that I've missed.
Is everybody good?
All right, well, it's good to see y'all.
As always, thanks for tuning on.
Bye.
See ya, everyone.
Bye.