you
are
I
am
I can't hear you.
Oh, I can't hear you.
Hi.
Yeah, I have the I have it set up so that every time someone joins that it automatically mutes them, because we, we were having issues with there being a lot of feedback.
So, and then people couldn't hear what me or someone else was saying. But in other words, whoever the, the, the, the talk or the speaker was can hear they're saying, So how have you been good. How have you been doing good. I'm sorry I'm trying to like adjust this thing here.
Okay.
Set up. I'm at my parents house.
And, but I'm the only one here.
They are my parents and my grandma they're all like doing various things there. I think my grandmother's visiting her sister, I say I think I know because I took her there.
And then my parents are on vacation. And so, I am here until I head out for Houston next on Saturday, because, and I was going to be there earlier than Saturday but with with a see what is it Laura and Marco had other plans.
You know the hurricanes Laura and Marco.
Hitting the area. So, how is that there.
Um, I don't know I haven't talked to my friend. Yesterday she. We were Marco polling and she was showing me that, that she was showing me the bands in the sky that hey she sent me the bands in the sky that were the not the front but that were like the edge
of it coming through that the hurricane hopefully is not going to hit Houston, but the, but the you know the outlying rain.
I could, I could hit so well it will hit so we're just, you know, obviously trusting for the anyway protection for everyone.
So I thought well I'll go on Saturday and I think that it was supposed to be sunny the last time that we checked but I think that now there might be some rain.
But then I'm going to go down the I'm going to stay with her for a bit.
And then
I'm not really sure how I'm going to do this. I think I might go straight to Missouri.
And from there. So,
cool.
I have a conference up there. What's that conference for that conference is for about changing the body, or not changing the body but manifesting who it is that we are in spirit into the body.
So that's what that is.
Teach me. Teach me what you learn.
I'm not sure. But I was, I think that that's right, that that's that that's how it's going to be. And anyway, so
Up in the air. What
Who's leading it.
I'm Chris black could be and Kirby delinear all and possibly Nancy Cohen.
Oh, really, is it not a five dp is it
No, no, no, no, that was in sets. That was
In Florida, and that's off Kirby can't get in. I can't get in the country.
So you can't fly in from Sri Lanka with them with everything going on. They had made plans in case he could, but
Yeah.
Anyway, so
So you'll be up there with Chris
Yeah. Awesome. Tell him I said hi.
Okay, I will.
Yeah. Very cool.
Yeah. Anyway, hey, Steph.
Hey, are you in your apartment made it
And share now.
But I have service. So we're good. I'm in the house.
Oh, wow. Good. Yeah.
Nice change.
A nice change. Why, where did you say you were you broke up
Oh, it's just a nice change to have service. I'm just across the room. I took the answer to my own question.
Okay, well, I get the camo background. Now,
Yeah, I was gonna say maybe by that maybe you'll get more and
More better reception by the window.
Hope
No, I hope so. We'll see.
Okay, okay. Okay.
And well, while we wait just maybe a couple more minutes for anybody to get on house. How's everybody doing
Does everyone have and does anyone have an update of anything appreciated your testimony, Amy. That was exciting.
Even if it was icky to have to hear
It was so
Totally unnatural. I was like, I was like, this is not normal. Something is not right here.
Right, that's right.
It was the worst.
Something is not right here.
Right, that's right.
It was the weirdest thing ever. And I was like, nope.
So I'm still astonished like that they just disappeared. So
Now we're good. Good. So that's the thing we it just, it just, we shouldn't be astonished that the way that that is the way that we declare that things are now.
Yes, but it's okay to be astonished
Obviously, and I was going to say something about. Oh yeah. So, okay. So just another icky story I had to
I was staying at at a friend's house and they and a I was down on the floor. I was, it would have been like not that far from the not that far from the door.
And the I look over and and it was like 1030 at night. And I'm not kidding you. I the door, but I mean the the door between my room in the hallway. A tarantula Oh, under the door fun, fun in a tarantula in real life, let alone to enter this sanctuary of my bedroom.
Not happy. I, I, I did what I typically do. I screamed with my mouth closed. My mom and I do that. We don't think about it. We just do it. We just go
So,
Anyway, so I had this rubber made being that was a rubber made tub that was out from under the bed and that I pulled things out of. And so I stood stop it.
Stop it. So I, I stood in it so that the tarantula couldn't like crawl on my feet and I started praying. I'm telling you what I started praying because snakes don't bother me.
But to let us do I just like, ah, so I told Lord. It's like, okay, Lord, you know, I'm a very brave person and I grew up in in West Texas with all kinds of critters.
But tarantulas just, that's another thing I've never saw a tarantula in West Texas.
We have snakes and stuff like that. I can handle snakes. There's no trenches. So anyway, it's entering my bedroom and I'm like, Lord, I know that this is spiritual and I will conquer it. So I
I stood inside the rubber made
thing.
Started praying. I was like, Lord. So, so the tarantula had crawled up under Doss's blanket. So Doss's blanket was up out. She was in her basket and it was up out of the basket kind of on the ground. So it had crawled up under the under the part that was on the ground.
So I just started praying and asking for courage. Okay, Lord, I'm just, I'm really, really, you know,
really worried and I know I shouldn't be worried, but I am. This is like this life creature and I know you created him. I don't know why you created him.
But that's okay.
And so I'm like, Lord, this thing must die.
It entered, it crossed the threshold and it must die.
So I finally worked up enough courage to, and it took a while, but I finally worked
up enough courage to grab the blanket and kind of shake it a little bit to encourage
the tarantula to go out.
So eventually, eventually it crawled out.
And so I started praying again, I'm like, okay, Lord, I got to kill this thing.
And I'm just asking you to help me kill it on the first whack, none of this chasing it
around the bedroom, kill it on the first whack.
So I grabbed this shoe, flip-flop, and I prepared to do battle.
And so I whack, whack, whack, whack, whack.
And sure enough, it started, you know, like a typical, like a typical spider started closing
in on itself cause it died and it was like, Oh, anyway.
But then I thought, now I have to pick it up.
I have to touch it.
Lord, what am I going to do?
So I was like, I don't care if it's underneath a paper towel or a wad of toilet paper.
I'm going to have to touch it.
So, hey, Renee.
So I'm telling the story about how I killed the tarantula that I found in my bedroom.
Horrible, horrible story.
So I, except there's victory in the end.
So anyway, I killed it.
And then I hear my friend's teenage son getting something out of the kitchen,
out of the refrigerator at 1030 at night.
I'm so excited.
I'm like, oh my word, he can be my hero.
So I go out there and ask him, will you, I just killed a tarantula in my room,
which freaked him out.
You know, I just killed a tarantula in my room.
He's like, what?
There's one in the house?
And I said, yes, I killed it.
And I'm asking, will you please be my hero and come pick it up for me?
So it's really funny how he opened it.
He like, he like grabs the door at like arm's length, you know,
and keeping his like, his legs and his body as far from the door as possible.
I'm like, I killed it already.
It's dead.
But he didn't trust me.
And we see he opened it, finally found it on the ground, truly dead.
And he's like, oh, yeah, it's no big deal.
So he's like, just give me, you know, paper towels.
So I got some paper towels and gave it to him.
So he, then he had, once he saw it was dead, he had no problem picking it up.
But it was the whole, are you sure that it's dead, Ashley?
So anyway, I was, I was excited because I thought I have conquered one of my fears.
I saw a tarantula and I killed it.
That's pretty amazing.
Yeah.
That's my icky story from recently.
I'm surprised you've lived in Texas all these years and never seen one,
especially in Berry Hollow.
I know.
I haven't.
I've had him in a house we used to live in.
Really?
I had Joey.
I had one that was so big that he took a broom and it was like,
it was like bludgeoning a small animal.
Exactly.
It's, it's like, I just, they've got mass to them.
They're not a daddy long leg.
They've got mass to them.
And they're scary and they're, Ooh.
Yeah.
And they're harmless, but they're just creepy.
It's like rats, field mice.
Tarantulas.
And I thought, Oh, and cockroaches.
Yeah.
Except those four.
I'm with you.
Don't bother me.
You know, tarantulas.
Those are small animals.
Yeah.
You don't have to tell me.
Yeah.
I'll have to tell you the story about the mouse in my car sometime.
Oh, that's a, that's a crazy story too.
Yeah.
I used to work for a locksmith company.
One of the, one of the things that I did as a, um,
one of my clients, um, as a turnaround business consultant and,
um, they,
one of their really big things was they helped people get, um, my, uh,
Oh, sorry. No, no, no, no. It wasn't a locksmith company.
It was an animal control company.
Yeah.
I worked, uh, that again, turnaround consulting client.
And, uh, that one of the really, really big things,
one of their highest, uh, the highest.
Uh, what is it called? Um,
That one of the things that people most put into the Google search
engine.
Was how to get a mouse out of a car.
Yeah.
Yeah. And this one, this was, I was in my car every day for work.
I like drove all the time. I car never sat still. So why a mouse?
to live in my car, I don't know. But I thought there was a mouse in my car, this is a couple
years ago. And then I was one day I was going to see a client in their home and I would
spend like three or four hours in their home. And so I had a cup of coffee, you know, with
the plastic lid. And I was drinking it and I left it in my car and I go in and I run
the appointment. I was there for about three hours. I come back out and open the door to
my car and the plastic lid to my coffee cup is nibbled all the way around. And I went,
oh my gosh, it's in here now. Because I thought, well, maybe like at night, it gets in. And
I was like, and I had to get in my car. Because I was like, you want to go in the house, bother
the people like what can they do? Anyway, so I'm driving. I'm like, Oh, God, oh, God,
I got to get this out of my car. And then I'm driving along and all of a sudden he peeked
up out of the passenger seat and looks at me like, hey, hey, pal. I'm like, I'm in this
parking lot and I jump out. I go in CVS looking for mousetraps. It's a long story. I didn't
catch it until like the next day. Oh, it was it was pretty interesting. Yes, isn't it funny?
We women in our world, it's like, ah, anyway, I know. I know that there's that they always
say, oh, they're not hard. They're just harmless. And like, they're just, I don't know. They're
just gross. It's just gross. He was a cute little mouse. He was he was not even big.
Yeah, yeah. And then like, if it was a pet mouse, pet mouse, don't bother me. But like
where they're like, field mice where they're gross. Anyway, in your house. Yeah, yeah,
yeah. They're not supposed to be in the house and they're in the house. Yeah, they're supposed
to be in the house, you know, because your pet that's fine. But anyway, so did anyone
have anything that the Lord had been talking to them about recently? Or anything that they'd?
I don't know any breakthroughs that they've had. And I was talking to someone today about
something that I thought that I can share if someone doesn't have something to start
have a question or something to start us out with. So
I asked this, I was watching the I think it's video number seven,
tree of knowledge. And I asked this on the thing, but since I have you,
um, and you guys have made maybe I've already talked about this. So if I need to just like,
there's a video I can reference or whatever, you can totally tell me that. But um, as you know,
I've started working again. And this week is like insane. I way overcommitted myself.
Because I started like school to new jobs. I'm still doing the other two jobs. And like,
it's just crazy. So um, I was listening to it this morning. And you were talking about like how
the stress comes in when we go into a situation where we like attach shoulds to it. And so like,
I should be, you know, able to stop working by 7pm. Or, you know, like, I should should should.
Um, which makes so much like that makes a lot of sense to me. But I guess my question was,
how do you handle deadlines from a place of rest, when it like legitimately looks like,
oh, I just don't have enough hours. And the way I put it was kind of like the only way I've known,
historically, to motivate myself and sort of get it done is you just like do impossible,
crazy things, but it's all from a place of pressure. Um, so like in the last week,
because I've literally been working like 10 hour days since Sunday. So I've kind of felt this like,
a teeter totter, like I can feel the moments where I'm like, and it's like, I can sort of
like take a deep breath and like, chill out, but I still don't know how I'm gonna get it all done.
And so yeah, anyway, that's my question. Yeah, no, that makes complete sense.
So the thing is that it doesn't matter how, how many hours a day that we work,
we can work 20, if we wanted to, and by work, I'm like doing things, it doesn't matter the amount,
number of hours that we that we work doesn't matter what it is that we, what's important is
that we do everything from rest, because the reason that we had to create boundaries for ourselves
before.
is that if things were out of strife, and we were appealing to the laws of like the soul or the body,
there are limitations. So in the spirit, there are no limitations, even time is not a limitation.
So if we are choosing to operate according to the principles of the soul or the body,
well, then we have to we have to put limits on ourselves. And that's where again, where those
boundaries come in place. Okay, well, you don't want to work too hard, because then you're,
you know, scientifically, you know, and experientially, we've discovered that if you
work past x number of hours, well, then your body reacts like this, and then you eventually get
burnout and etc, etc. But that's all from a place of strife. So operating in rest does not mean a
lack of boundaries, by the way. And boundaries is a word I really don't like to use because again,
there's, because of our experience, there's we associate it with strife, we associate it with,
look, I, you know, I don't let you do this to me, because when sometimes we should let what we,
we don't need to be so afraid of other people. Because, you know, talking about like, for
instance, that boundaries book, I don't know if you've ever read the boundaries book by Henry
MacLeod. So very, very good book. There are some certain things in it that over time, I've come
to disagree with him on. And that's strictly because it's not that what he says is wrong.
It's just that I can't, I need to use those, those general ideas from a place of rest, as opposed to
a place that is a place of strife. So that there are certain things where God talks about the fact
that, hey, look, if somebody asks you for your, for your cloak, you say, hey, I'll give you two.
Well, that doesn't sound right, according to the boundaries book, you know, things like that.
So in other words, it's just kind of, it's important that we understand that in anyway,
that that aside, it's important that we understand that when we operate in rest,
it doesn't mean that there's no boundaries. It's, it's just that we we operate in rest,
and then we do whatever and then we function. In other words, we choose to to operate in whatever
activities that we want to, etc. Based on who it is that we are a sense of God based on what
it is that we're sensing in the Father's heart. And, and, and he teaches us how to exert
our will as sons of God, I choose to do this, I don't choose to do that.
Now, again, he'll govern us into that. So it's not like we can just expect that.
Like, like, think, for instance, we are, we're currently being tutored by tutors and governors,
the Lord said, you know, into into maturity, but we're being tutored by tutors and governors,
meaning like, you know, spiritual tutors and governors, that we're supposed to be kings over.
And yet, and yet, so even though we're Lord over them, we still are being taught by them.
So my point is that we we need to understand that just because we are kings, doesn't mean that we
always know how doesn't mean that we're just born automatically knowing and being mature enough to,
to govern creation, govern, including our own lives, you know, our own souls or whatever.
And from a kingly perspective, where we're doing it, kindly taking care of creation and not abusing
it, not abusing ourselves, abusing other people, etc. So we have to be governed into that. So my,
my, my point is, I'm just trying to give you context for it, so that you can then, you can
then allow the Lord realize what's going on, and then allow the Lord to father you into it
in specific situations, because I can't speak to specific situations, because there is no,
there are no rules and laws, we're not trading an old religion for a new one. That's not what
being sons is about. We're not we're not creating a new religion now, where well, this is how we
used to do it. And so now we're doing these different things. We're not doing different
things. We're not there's no, there's not rules. And there's, there's no formulas. There's Jesus,
we're in Jesus. And so what who is Jesus, and then we learn to become that. And we,
and we learn to operate like that. It's no longer things of a what would Jesus do? It's no who is
Jesus, I am that. And therefore, I have to learn how what that how to be him, how to interact with
the world. Does that make sense? I mean, I know, it's not an exact, exact thing of
Like you do these types of things, but it's context for
allowing the presenting yourself before the Lord and allowing him
to tell you how far you or how to exert your will as the son
of God and say as a son of God and say, okay, I am going to do
this. I am going to commit to this. I'm not going to commit to
this. Lord, what's your father's heart? Do you want me to commit
to these things or not? You know, Lord, I committed to all
of these things. And I didn't even ask you if I could. And now
I'm not even sure I'm not saying that you didn't, but I'm just
making up an example. I'm not even sure. I'm not even sure
like, if I can commit if I can follow through on all of these
things. Lord, how? What? Is there something Lord that you want me
to drop? Or I or would you like me to just trust you that even
though I'm the one who committed you and I to this,
you're going to back me up on it. And it's something that I
now can learn from realize, oh, wow, okay. So next time when I
make commitments, I can make them by it from a different
perspective, I can now, you know, and now ask you or make
sure that I'm sensing your father's heart or, you know,
stretching myself in belief and in faith. But I think I I over
I overstretch I stretched beyond where my piece was. And I
stretched into obligation. It's out of strife. You know?
Yeah, that helps a lot. Actually. Thank you.
You're welcome.
No.
Did someone have anything else? Oh, yeah.
I'm looking at the
chats. Yes, the people y'all can relate to the killing dead
things. And Amy, it says that you used to teach boundaries,
but you can't anymore. Yeah, it's, it's not that. It's not
that that ideas aren't still valid to us. But they're
understood from a different perspective. And we're not. So
yeah. So yeah. So it's not I, I don't even know if I have the
boundaries book anymore. I might. I might I don't remember.
But anyway, there's still still so many good things in there.
It's just that I learned what I could from it. And then now I'm
learning. I don't know. Now I'm learning different things. So
um, if no one has anything, then I can then I can mention
something that I was talking to a client about today. And that
is about how to choose what it is that we do. Like I mean,
sorry, choose how the Lord is going to come through for us.
Like if we decide, okay, well, I choose that I am going to I
choose that I want to go on vacation. And I want to go to
this place and do this x, y, and z. How do we how? Basically, the
question was, to me, it was asked to me of if they if this,
if we decide something, just because we want it, how do we
know whether or not God's going to come through and enable us to
do the thing? And so and so to use as an example, let's talk
about like vacation, because that's something that I think
that we is something that regardless of who it is that we
are, you know, in all of our different circumstances, we'd
all like something like that, right? So let's, you know, Lord,
I really like to go on vacation. And so and I'd like to do it in
X amount of time. And I'd like, it's a very good question. Okay,
good. That is so good. I'm glad that this is resonating with
people. Um, that I'd like it done in X amount of time and,
and maybe even we specify the place I'd like to go here on
vacation, in X amount of time, X number of weeks or whatever.
Now, what's important for us to do is understand that what I was
talking to Catherine about earlier is we, it's important
that when we're being fathered into these things, that we that
we listen to the Father's heart. So we present to the Lord, the
desires of our heart. In other words, you know, something that
our soul wants, Lord, I would really like this. And then it's
important that we listen to what it is that he that that he how
he
bonds to that, as opposed to, or this is what I want, and I expect you to back me up.
He's not a genie, and even though we all know that, when we're learning to choose things
as sons, we have to, and we get excited that, oh my goodness, I now understand that I get
to choose, yes, but we have to learn how to exert our will in a life-giving way, in a
way that actually breeds life, in a way that's a reflection of our father's character, not
just something that we choose to do.
So in learning how to do this, we present things to our father, and then we find out,
okay, well, how does he feel about it?
Is this because we're not living life on our own, and then he enables it to happen.
We do things with him together.
It's us living life together.
That's what it is that we're doing in life.
So when we're going on, for instance, if we use this example, if we're going on vacation,
and we're going to do that together, when we're planning the vacation, we're going to
do that with him together.
It's a journey that we're taking together.
We're not by ourselves.
We're one.
We're one with him.
Hey, Jonathan.
How are you doing, buddy?
Are you feeling better?
Yes.
Oh, I'm so glad.
We've been praying for you.
I've been talking to God about you.
I'm glad that you're feeling better.
I'm so glad.
He heard your voice, and he was waving, so I had to...
He heard your voice, and he was waving.
I'm so glad.
I've missed you.
Sorry about the interaction.
No, no, no.
That's fine.
I always love seeing Jonathan.
Anyway, so that's important for us to do, so it's not just like, I want this, Lord.
Will you back me up on it?
Can I expect that you'll back me up on this?
Should I have faith that you're going to back me up on this?
And then, Lord, should I have faith that you're going to back me up on it, so therefore, I
can go ahead and make plans, and I don't even have money in the bank for it, but I'm going
to trust and believe that you're going to fulfill it.
Well, we need to hear what is on his heart.
Again, we're not doing it by ourselves.
We're one with him.
We're one flesh, so he gets a say as well, and then what we do is we just kind of determine,
say for instance, if there's a measure of peace that we do feel towards it, but we don't
feel 100% peace in it, but there's a measure of peace that we feel in it.
We have it.
We feel...
Say for instance, if it's this big, if we need to have faith and peace this much, and
we feel some measure of peace in it, but not all of it, well, then we operate according
to the measure of peace that we have, and say for instance, the measure of peace that
we have towards it is this much, so then we step out and act in this much, and by acting,
it may not be paying the money, because maybe we don't feel like we can pay for it.
Maybe acting could be, it could be looking for where it is that we want to go, looking
for houses, looking for availability.
It could be action internally, shifting our heart to believe him more in a particular
way, or it could be starting to have faith to ask him particular questions, to pursue
it, to be able to put our heart in it a bit more than we felt comfortable doing.
So we just operate and act and step out in according to the measure of peace that we
have.
Even if we don't have this much peace, step in this one.
Okay, so, but as far as this now, what do we do with this?
In other words, the end goal, and so this goes back to our conversation about goals.
You remember that we have in the Rest Intensive Series about how to make goals from rest,
and I talked a lot about it in relationship to business, but it's the same way in everything.
Any goal that we have, kind of think of it like you remember the Big Dipper and the Little
Dipper up in the sky, and you remember how the two stars on the very far end of the Dipper,
the cup, the two stars on the end, you follow them and they point towards the North Star,
which is the last star of the handle of the Little Dipper, and that's how you can find
the North Star.
Sometimes it's a lot easier to find the Big Dipper in the sky than the Little Dipper.
So you find the Big Dipper, and then you take those two stars of the Big Dipper, and then
you follow them up and you find the North Star.
That is how we need to view it.
you, our destination. In other words, our goal or the thing it is that we're submitting to the
Lord. Hey, Lord, I want this. I want this specific manifestation. We kind of use those as the stars
on the Big Dipper that are pointing us towards the North Star, because here's what it is that
we need to tell the Lord when it is that we want a particular specific manifestation.
We just use that to give ourselves kind of a way to define to us the measure of His,
or the degree to which we are believing that He is love and goodness.
And then in other, so think of His love and His goodness as being the North Star. So the point
of getting something in mind that it is that we want, that we're asking Him for, the whole point
needs to, the point of it is for us to help define for ourselves the degree to which we are choosing
to step out in faith that He is love and goodness. So in other words, Lord, I believe that You are so
love and You are so loving to me, and You are just love, period. Regardless of me, You're just
so loving and You're so good that You would do this thing for me. I believe You are this much
love and this much good. Then this thing here, this manifestation that pointed us towards this
love and this goodness, we get rid of this manifestation. We get rid of that idea, so to speak.
In other words, we lose our hold of it. We don't own it anymore. And then we just focus
on that North Star. We focus on the love and the goodness, and that is now our goal. That is the
thing that we are stepping out in greater measures of peace towards. It's, Lord,
I don't know how You want to manifest that You are that love and You are that good. I don't know
how You want to manifest that to me in my life, but I am choosing that to believe that You
are that, and I'm asking You to give me peace in my spirit about how I can step out in faith
in actively in my life, whether it be internal shifts or whether it be out, whether it be action
steps that I'm physically taking in order to, what's the word, and in order to act on my faith
that You are that love and that good. Because remember, faith without works, faith that He's
this love and this goodness, without works is dead. So that's the point of these things that
we're asking Him for. So say, for instance, that you might ask Him, hey, Lord, I'd really like to
go on vacation in so many weeks from today, and the Lord, maybe not to you, but just, I mean,
to you, maybe you don't hear Him say this, but His answer might be, sure, sure, absolutely,
we'll do that, but there are things that we need to work out in you before I give you this,
because if I give this to you now, then based off of where you're at right now, this could harm you.
It could create destruction in you or whatever, kind of like if we don't handle $50 well,
and it actually, in other words, it destroys us, not that we're just doing whatever with it,
but that it actually kind of destroys us a little bit, and we ask Him for a million dollars,
the Lord's like, no, I don't want to give you, if you want me to give you a million dollars,
sure, I will give you a million dollars, but not yet. I will just, now that you've asked me for
that, now we have a journey for you to walk of how to believe me in the way that I'm telling you,
you can believe me so that by the time that you get to, by the time that, so that eventually you
are prepared to receive a million dollars without it destroying you. So it's that kind of an idea.
Good to see you, Renee. Anyway, so that's the thing about having a specific thing that we'd
like the Lord to do for us. The whole point of it is that we are setting a new,
we're defining for ourselves the extent and the degree to which we are now
trusting and believing that God is that love and that good. Because otherwise, if we just say,
oh, I want to believe God is more love and more good than I believed before.
How do we quantify that? I mean, how do we measure love? How do we measure goodness? How do we know
if we believed Him? I mean, like, do we use the number system? I mean, well, on a scale of one
to a hundred, well, I'm believing Him and He's loving goodness to a five today. I mean, how do
we quantify that? So by having something that we can just kind of sink our teeth into, Lord,
I believe that you
are, are so loved and so good that you would do this kind of thing for me.
It gives us kind of like a, uh, a way to find our North star,
a way to find a way to quantify for ourselves that a new degree
to which we're believing that he's goodness and love.
And then we just progress in our relationship towards him on that. Um,
I think people have been, uh, talking about that.
I found when I fully set my intent,
Amy said that I found when I fully set my intention for something,
it always manifests somehow. Yeah. The Lord, um, has, uh,
we just, when we choose to step out and rest,
and when we choose to that the Lord provides for us and he protects us,
we don't get to choose how we just choose that. Lord,
I'm going to choose that you are going to protect and provide for me,
but I don't,
we're then giving up because we're operating out of the tree of life instead of
the tree of the knowledge of an evil.
This way we get to choose what we do and how we manifest and how it manifests
because we're in control. But according to the tree of life, we just say, Hey,
Lord, I'm going to choose that. You're going to protect and provide for me.
So he will do it always. He always, always, always, always, always will.
It always manifests, but we just don't always get to,
we just don't get to choose how it manifests. So, um, that's why,
um, we, that's why when we, um, are asking the Lord for something,
we have to put our focus on the North star. We have to put, put a pointer,
put our focus on the degree to which we're declaring that God is love and
goodness and get rid of this manifestation. And in other words,
our ownership of the manifestation,
it doesn't mean that we have to give up the dream and that we don't have to want
it anymore. We can keep it before it before the Lord, but we cannot hold.
And this is extremely important. If I, if you catch anything that I say all night,
this is the most important thing.
We cannot hold God's character hostage to a
manifestation that we have dictated that he revealed himself in.
So, um, yeah, Amy, please feel free.
Okay. Sorry. It took me a minute to be back.
So it's interesting how you said we can ask for something and then he may come
back with something. And cause I,
cause I have found in the past even before I learned anything about what we're
learning now,
that it seemed like if I just decided this is what I want and I felt peace about
it, that I did,
I stopped looking at how and I just believed that, um,
God wanted me to do or to have something and always worked out.
But recently I had an experience where he kind of changed it and no matter how
hard I tried, I couldn't get peace about the original request.
So what it was was I wanted to go on a getaway by myself for a weekend cause I
hadn't done that for a long time. And I looked online and there was a real,
I want to go somewhere North, somewhere where it was cool.
Texas is hot right now.
And so I looked online and there was like $70 round trip tickets to Denver.
And I was like, Oh, I so want to go to Denver.
And so I bought the plane ticket.
And then when I started trying to like get all the other pieces in place,
it was just like, not, I wasn't feeling good about it.
It was like, this is too expensive. The car is too expensive. And this and that,
I'm like, I just don't want to spend that much on a weekend.
And so I was like, I really want to go away, Lord.
So finally it's kind of like he knows better what we need than we do.
And so what I ended up doing was, um,
and tickets right now, airline tickets are fully credited.
If you cancel your flight, you can use it later because of COVID.
So I knew that even if I didn't use it and it's $70, you know,
I'd use it some other other time. So anyway, I,
I just started thinking about it and being open to other ideas.
And what I ended up doing was thinking, you know what,
I'd really actually like to go on a road trip because when I drive is when I can
really focus, connect with the Lord, especially, you know,
like when you're by yourself.
So what it turned out was now I'm driving up to, uh,
Oklahoma in the mountains. So still mountains up in Eastern,
yeah, right by the Arkansas border.
And just going to spend a weekend up there in a campground in a,
in an RV all by myself. And so, yeah,
it's like all kinds of like nature around, which I love and
a little, you know, like little, so yeah,
I was like, and then I felt total peace about that.
But I could not no matter how much I said, I wanted to go to Denver.
I was like, I'm just not feeling good about this.
And then when I found the right place and it's so interesting because the
campground where I'm staying is called the heaven's gate. I was like, Oh,
so perfect. So anyway, but yeah,
That was kind of like my heart's desire and then God said, this is what you really need
right here.
You know?
So anyway.
Yeah.
Good.
Well, thanks for telling us.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
So we, we asked the Lord, Lord, this is really, you know, I really like this very important.
And then we just start seeking his heart for it.
And then we operate according to the measure of peace that we're feeling this far.
We don't have to have all of the answers right now.
We don't have to have him answer, you know, a through Z about the situation and how everything's
going to work.
But we are just operate according to the level of peace that we have at that time in the,
in the level of peace might be a to C. So we operate in a to C and we, as opposed to,
because that's faith.
It's not faith to require that a through Z be all done.
Before we step out, like, no, no, no, no.
You know, operate according to what level you have, because it's all about relationship.
It's not about, we're not, we're not shifting into rest and learning how to abide and rest
in order to make our lives easier and aspects of our lives just in, in making aspects of
our lives more comfortable or more assured it's, it's, we're just actually learning how
to, how to live, abiding in God, being God to creation.
So we have to learn who he is and we have to release.
We have to work on ourselves first before we have it to give to, before we have to give
it to, we have it to give to creation.
So anyway, yeah, I missed something.
Let's see.
So Catherine mentioned, this is helpful.
I found God helping me see what's at the bottom of my desires.
Yes.
So I can ask for what I really want.
Exactly.
So many times when we use the desires of our heart entirely too flippantly, because really
it's just something that our souls one or that we feel is going to, you know, like satisfy
an itch when really, you know, what it is that our true desires of our heart or what
it is that the Lord actually knows that.
And that's what he wants to fulfill.
In other words, if I'm itching for something, oh funny, use the same word.
If I'm itching for something, he's helping me to get to the root of the need.
That's helping me let go of what it looks like.
Exactly.
I should have just finished reading your quote before I started talking.
Let's see.
We all understand.
Yeah.
Can I share an example?
I actually had a conversation with him this morning about like getting back into school,
just to give you like a little background.
It's been challenging this, I'm feeling very, like something I've struggled with my whole
life is feeling excluded.
And I'm so on the edges of school because I'm in a program that's only meets a couple
days a week and we're never on campus and all this kind of stuff.
So it's like, and, and I've been, but simultaneously, like there's some people at school that I
really want to intentionally pursue friendship with, but I feel so awkward about it.
So anyway, I was just sort of like whining this morning.
I was like, I don't want to be my friend and it's just so weird and dah, dah, dah.
But in the process of like backing up from it and him being, he just kind of poked with
some questions and he was just like, so like, what, like, what are you actually wanting?
And I just realized like, Oh, like I want sisters.
Like I have a lot of little sisters.
I want some like, yeah.
For older sisters.
Like I need some relationships that feel like this in my life.
And I don't feel like I have them right now and I've never had them.
And so I just was able to be like, okay, that's whatever that looks like.
That's what I want.
Instead of targeting specific people to be like, you could be a sister, you know, which
is such a, like a weird balance because you do have to put yourself out in vulnerability
and relationships and try things out and that kind of thing.
But it just was so cool for me to see like, Oh, this is what my heart is actually needing.
And that can come like, it doesn't depend on this person or this one specific result.
So yeah, that just helped.
Yeah.
But no, that's perfect.
That's perfect.
And that, that the Lord showed you, you know what it is that you really need because, and
then to be able to also accept and to receive that is really huge.
And it shows, it shows the depth of, of your desire for the Lord that you were willing
to accept that because so often we'll hear what the real thing is, but like what the
real root is, but we are not willing to let go of how we want it to manifest.
So, but though your willingness to be able to let go of how it manifests and what it
Maturity doesn't seem like the right word, but a commitment to the Lord, desire, true
desire for him and not how he shows up in our lives, but just him, who he is, whatever
he looks like, not how he desires to show up in what it is I've got going on, but just
hey Lord, where are you, and that's what it is that I'm seeking. I'm seeking you, not
your answers. Yeah, yeah, that's good. That's huge, because the Lord, just like anyone,
doesn't want to be wanted for what he can give us, but he wants to be desired for who
he is. Yeah. There were things that I wanted to do for him one time. In fact, I wanted
to go on a mission trip, and I was going back and forth trying to understand, so does he
want me to go on the mission trip or not? This is like 10 years ago. In fact, it was
exactly 10 years ago. Oh, wow. Yeah, it was 10 years ago, as of a few weeks ago. Anyway,
I was going back and forth and back and forth about it, and then the Lord, through a couple
of people, told me, it's like, I want you to seek me for me, not for the answer of whether
or not I want you to go. It's like, okay. Once I shifted and I sought him for himself,
I'm telling you within maybe a minute or two, actually, it may not have even been that long,
he gave me the answer. It was very interesting. Once I did that, I was worshipping him in
my apartment. I turned on some music, started worshipping him in my apartment. I honestly
think it's been 10 years, but I think that it was within, I'm not entirely sure, but I believe
that it was within the first 60 seconds. He spoke to me, and you know what he spoke to me is,
he said, Ashley, do you know my voice? I said, yes. He said, then what have I been telling you?
About what have I been answering? In other words, he was telling me, his answer was, Ashley,
I've been answering you this whole time about what it is I want you to do, and it's not been
enough for you. My answer to you that you've asked for is, actually, I've already been giving
you the answer. Anyway, that was really sweet and special to me because it affirmed to me that I was
hearing from the Lord and it answered my question. I did it because, but first of all, he said,
hey, Ashley, you've been going back and forth about this for two weeks, and you're in turmoil.
He's like, I want you to seek me for me, not for the answers that I give you of what it is I do
and don't want you to do. He's like, I'm much more interested in you wanting me than wanting to know
what I want you to do. That's so good. Yeah, which is nice. It means that he wants relationship with
us as opposed to obedience. In other words, it's more important to him than obedience.
Yeah. Just like obedience is better than sacrifice, relationship is better than obedience.
Yeah. It's funny. There was a certain season with the Lord where over and over I kept hearing
Jesus. It was specifically Jesus saying, there's a scripture that says, I desire mercy over
sacrifice. It's like, I think that level of like, there's obedience, but then there's sacrifice,
and then there's mercy. For me, it was just like him being like, I actually want to extend mercy
to you rather than you sacrificing yourself on some altar to me all the time. I want you to
give yourself a break, and I want to give you a break. Anyway, you just reminded me of that.
Yes, because he is more interested in us receiving from him than us giving him something,
including giving ourselves, because that's what sacrifice is. He's more interested in us being
willing to receive from him than for us giving him ourselves, because us being willing to receive
from him is essentially us giving him ourselves, except it's giving him ourselves out of
vulnerable submission. We have nothing to give as opposed to the sacrifice, which is from works,
which is something that we feel that we have to be able to offer. It makes us feel like we're
paying a wage. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, good. There we go. So does anyone have anything?
else? I can't, I'm trying to think if I talked about anything. There were, oh, there were
a few things. Where is it? Let's see. So you'll let me know if you can, if you have something
and then I will see if there's anything that I wrote down from my, from the conference.
I've had people ask me or tell me that they want me to share the things that I learned
in the conference. But, and I'm sure that I will share aspects of it. I will 100% share
aspects of it over time, but I don't have a plan currently within the, you know, really
current future, current future, that doesn't sound right. Right now, currently, I don't
have like a live planned or whatever to be able to talk about it. And here's why. What
I do in the rest intensive is I want to make sure that y'all get, y'all, that I act as
a life giving spirit in the rest intensive, not as a transfer of information and our knowledge.
And if I don't have it, I can't give it. If I'm not living it, I don't have it to give
you. So I can give you information. I can tell you the things that I learned, but what
my desire is, and it's not that I don't ever give y'all information. There are certain
things that I, that resonate with my spirit, that I, that I choose to believe and choose
to make a part of myself and have just recently stepped out in, but I, but I'm still learning
how to at a very elementary level. I will sprinkle those things in short, but the majority
of what it is that I try to put in the rest intensive and, and, and give to y'all is what
it is that I live. So there's an aspect of the weekend that I already am living in. And
I actually, because I've already done that training, I did this training back in, back
in February, that this is just the first time I attended it live, that there are some aspects
of it that I will be speaking on, but it's out of what I'm already living. I'm sure there
are some things that I'll sprinkle in. That's more information that I'm just like, okay,
I'm just, I'm choosing to believe it, but I'm just still trying to get a grasp of it.
So, but there's so much, and it was so, so life changing and so revolutionary that I'm
sure that there's, that there's still ways in which I'm learning how to actually internalize
it, receive it, and live it out. And until I do, I don't feel comfortable, you know,
doing a, doing a live on it yet. And it's not that doing a live on it or anything would
be wrong, understand. It's just how I choose to do the rest intensive based off of how
I talk to the father and what I'm sensing in the father's heart that he and I want to
do together in this thing that's called the rest intensive. So, but if I were to get together
with like somebody, I would just like, oh, by the way, I learned all of this, but it's
very different from how he's put it on, what he's put on my heart to express myself in
the rest intensive. So anyway, just FYI, while you might hear some things and not, and not
others, again, there's nothing wrong if other people choose to operate their, their programs,
their ministries, um, talking about something that they just recently learned that they're
not living out yet. That's still fine. That is, there's nothing wrong with it, but we
all have to operate according to how we feel, um, what we're sensing in the father's heart.
And this is just kind of like how I have the time and the monetary commitments. Other people
don't have those in there, um, uh, or they operate them in different ways in their business.
And I just operated according to the way the spirit and tells me to do it. Um, so anyway,
um, Oh, wow. There's so many things. Let me go down. Oh, wait, I'm sorry. I'm on the wrong
on the wrong. Oh, here it is. DHT. Um, and then we'll bring out the healer. Um, okay.
So something that he said that I know that I've already talked about that I just wanted
to mention, Oh, before I, before I mentioned this though, um, cause it is, it is past,
um, it is time right now. Um, and then I'm just going to probably just mentioned just
a couple of things.
But, and then we'll close for the night. Is there anything that anybody else had, I wanted to make sure that everyone's questions got answered that they'd come on with. I'm assuming they have
But
Sir, anything
Everyone good. Okay.
Okay, so two things that he mentioned that I thought were really fascinating. Two reasons for failure as in like
Failing. Okay. By the way, y'all remember that the conference. I went to was healing conference. It was understanding our identity as sons and kings of God and how and
How and and being able to stand in that how we have been commanded to heal, heal, not pray for people are not pray to God and ask him to heal, but actually
Command healing and it says reasons for failure. He pointed these out. He said our unbelief and the traditions of men, which, interestingly, the traditions of men.
Are unbelief, but I just thought that was really, really fascinating that those are the two reasons for why when we command healing why healing wouldn't manifest
It is and it's unbelief and it's the traditions of men, the traditions of men end up building up a lot of excuses or what about why God quote unquote wouldn't heal
And anyway, I that was that one really hit home for me. And then, of course, he mentioned something that we all know by nature. You already believe or it is our natural. It is of our nature to believe our father.
In the soul. Oh, I love this. I loved how he worded this he said the soul is the way that the Spirit interacts with the created realms. I liked that.
Like that makes sense. And and y'all already that
And God is not our problem. He has our ever present help. He never he doesn't bring sickness on people.
He doesn't use it to teach us he will can use it, but he doesn't bring it on us to teach us a lesson. But if it's honest, well, then he can obviously use it for our good, but he's not our problem.
He's not creating a problem. He's not creating our issue. He, on the, on the other hand, says that he is our ever present help in times of trouble and we're living what we believe we just aren't believing what we think we are
But we're all living what it is we really believe so we there's no such thing as, well, I believe it, but, but I'm not, but I'm not seeing it. No, if, if we, if we, if we believe it, then we're living it.
So those are just things
Oh, and then stress and fear can do. We know this stress and fear can do more damage than the than the disease that we're fighting
So, and one thing that I do want to mention, and I can't believe I'm going to say this
But I'm just going to just drop it in there. I really have tried to avoid any, any conversations about any talking about, you know, the current fear and
The virus and all of that. And it's very volatile subject and really it's just one other thing with that we could talk about among a million things.
So it really isn't necessarily a more important subject than anything else. And so I didn't want to give it any glory, but something that I did want to mention has just been on my, on my heart that I just kind of watched
And then the, and then my pastor ended up saying the same thing. You know, he was the leader of the conference. He ended up saying the same thing. I thought, okay, so I'm not the only one who you thought this
And that is the fact that what is I'm currently we just need. I think it's important that we're just aware of it. It doesn't mean that we need to change what it is that we're doing. I think it's just something that we can be conscious of and aware of. And that is the fact that that currently what's been
The word and
What's the word and
You can't think of the word. But anyway, what's currently being sold is fear of selves.
Because you notice, you notice what it is we're doing. We're wearing our masks, because sometimes and then other people are wearing masks, because it's like what people can internalize. Here's my point.
What people can internalize and what's very important for us to make sure that we don't internalize is, is the idea that we can create destruction in someone else or they can create destruction or they can destroy us because it's very important that we are aware of what we're doing and that we're aware of what we're not doing.
villainizing person against person.
And so it doesn't mean that we need to change
and we need to stop wearing masks and whatever.
So I'm not talking about whether or not people should
and shouldn't wear masks, et cetera, et cetera.
Just, I think it's just very, very important
that we remember we are not destructive.
We are not a problem.
And it's important that if someone else
has a particular fear that we make sure
that if they are concerned about us
or concerned about being around us, et cetera, et cetera,
that we do not receive the belief
that we have something within us, virus or not,
that can destroy other people.
That is a lie from Satan.
And it's very important for us to not villainize others
in our mind that, oh my goodness, they could destroy me.
God is the one who identifies us.
And he's, and therefore we are of the new man.
We are the new nature.
We are completely healed.
We are righteous.
We are holy, whatever it is,
even if it's not related to the virus,
even if it's not related to anything health,
we cannot receive any lie that or any,
and we cannot attribute any meaning
to anything someone says or does
or ways that they attack us or whatever,
to believe that inherently we have,
we are or have a problem.
So I just wanted to mention that.
That's something that I've noticed
is very, very interesting about this whole,
the whole mask thing is that I've noticed
that it's like people are told like,
hey, protect other people from you.
It's a major, major problem that we don't need to,
we don't need to believe.
So wearing the mask or no mask doesn't matter.
You know, people ask, should we wear masks or not?
It doesn't matter.
Whatever your conscience says to do,
you know, it doesn't, it doesn't matter.
It's important though,
that we don't take on a particular belief
that where we change our sense of identity
from what it is that we're doing or not doing.
So that's all that I wanted to say about that.
Painful to smile and say hello,
just to have someone act like they're terrified.
I know.
It's so sad how everyone behaves.
Yes, Amy, I am a life-giving spirit
and we're required to wear them in West Virginia.
It's a whole different world.
Yeah, we're required to wear them here in Texas.
In fact, I've traveled to Texas, Arkansas and Louisiana.
And yeah, we're required by law
to wear them in all those places if we go,
you know, if we're, if you step into a business, et cetera.
So not talking, I'm not addressing, you know,
whether or not we should or shouldn't wear masks
or, you know, go against the law or obey the law.
I'm not even addressing it at all.
I'm talking about the fact that regardless
of whether or not we choose to,
it's, we need to make sure that we don't choose to,
meaning like whether or not we actually are wearing a mask
or not, depending on where it is that we're living
and what it is that we believe, et cetera.
It's just very important that we don't,
that we don't use it to determine our identity.
So that is all that I wanted to say about that.
So, okay.
So yeah, Catherine had to go, yes.
And so we all are too,
but it's good to get to see everybody.
I think the next time I talk to y'all,
where will I talk to y'all?
I don't know.
I don't know where I will be when I talk to y'all.
I'm not sure if I'm going to be in Missouri
or if I'm going to be, if I'm going to be in Houston.
Everything kind of changed this afternoon.
So I'm going to have to look that up.
But it's good to get to see y'all.
Bye, Jonathan.
Bye, Ashley.
Bye.
I love you.
I love you too, Betty.
Do you know who I'm going to see next week?
I'm going to see Chris.
I know that he's your friend.
I'm going to see Chris.
Yeah.
Yes.
Have you been watching any of his sermons lately?
Yeah.
You have?
Well, good.
He's got new ones out.
You'll have to watch his new ones.
Yep.
Yeah, he likes them.
I love watching.
He likes them, yeah.
Yeah, it's fun.
All right, I will.
Good to see y'all.
Bye.
Bye, bud.
Oh, you're so sweet.