you
hi alana hey how are you good how are
you
good i hear kids or do you have children
I have four, you're actually hearing the two puppies in the background, brand new puppies.
It's like having newborns.
Wow.
And you have four kids as well?
Yeah.
Oh my gosh.
How old are they?
15, 12, nine and four and a half.
Oh, wow.
Are they homeschooling right now or are they at school?
We homeschool anyway, so it's been just business as usual here.
Interesting.
Well, that's good.
Yeah.
It was kind of weird for all of our friends and I said, well, nothing really changed for
us, except I can't threaten to put them on the school bus now.
I used to do that, but I can't.
Where do you live?
West Virginia.
Okay, cool.
Because it's so different.
I find everywhere you go, they have different rules.
Like some places you're only doing remote learning, other places they have the option.
And here it depends on your county.
We have this little rainbow map.
And if your county is in the orange or red, you have to be at home.
And if it's green or yellow, you go to school.
And it's county by county.
Because you're in Canada, right?
So how is it affecting everybody up there?
Well, it's been really good.
Like the past few months, we really flattened the curve.
But then they've had a lot of the university students coming into different cities.
And now there's been a surge.
So it is not as good as it was.
So we actually, it was kind of sad.
It was very sad, actually.
On Saturday morning, our premier announced that there was going to be.
So it used, on Friday night, it was gatherings of 100 outside and gatherings of 25 inside.
Saturday morning, he announced, starting Saturday morning,
that it was going to be gatherings of 25 outside and 10 inside.
Saturday morning, on a fall day.
Do you know how many people had weddings on Saturday with 100 people outside?
And they had to bring their guest list down 75 people at the last, the morning of their wedding.
Oh, my goodness.
So sad.
So usually they give a little bit of warning.
They'll say, you know, okay, starting tomorrow.
Or give like at least a day or two warning, but no warning.
And it was, it was like very sad for a lot of people.
There was a lot going on here that people had to cancel.
And I just felt, I felt sad for them because people travel in from out of town.
And they're expecting to go to a wedding.
And they pay for all this stuff to come.
And then all of a sudden, oh, sorry.
I don't know.
I just, that was, that was hard.
Yeah.
Not for me because I.
I didn't, I wasn't getting married or anything.
I had a birthday party for my daughter, but we were around 10 anyway.
So it wasn't a huge deal, but.
A lot.
My friend's an event planner and she does a lot of weddings and she's,
she was just like, wow.
A lot of.
Brides.
But I know it's real. A friend of mine.
Last.
It was a week for last.
And she just lost her mom and her grandma three days apart to COVID.
They fought it for three and a half weeks and most of the month they
fought it.
And her mom was picking up doing well,
and then just did a nose dive and her grandma died three days later.
So everybody's sharing these posts.
They're talking about it being fake. And I know Kelly sitting over here,
going, no, it's not fake.
Cause she just lost her mom and her grandma.
So it's, it's bad.
Yeah. I mean, that's, and it's, it's, it does affect older people more,
for sure. Like we've had some friends who've, at least when,
when it comes to like.
Taking their life. It's older.
We've had a lot of friends who've had it.
And some friends whose parents and grandparents have passed away from
it.
Or, you know, seventies, eighties one, my friend's grandpa was 102.
And he passed away from it.
Yeah.
I mean, it's, it's awful, but so sad because.
It's just so.
You know, I guess unexpected, right?
Like for something like that to happen, I know eventually we all go,
but.
It's just hard for the people left behind.
Way to go.
It's an awful.
And because they're isolated and they can't be with family.
I don't know if it's the same there,
but it's just so sad.
Yeah.
I mean,
I had a procedure done yesterday and they finally.
This is in the last month.
They finally allowed people to come into the hospital.
So Dan went in.
He went to the waiting area with me,
the waiting room that you're in and then he stayed there.
He didn't go back out to the main waiting area.
He stayed in that little room,
which was nice because then he wasn't having to sit with anybody else.
Yeah.
her in the parking lot, just dropped her off at the door and waited.
What, what did you have surgery on?
Um, I had an ablation and while I was in there, they tied my
tibia and fixed an umbilical hernia.
Oh, the list was so long.
I didn't expect it.
I didn't see.
And then they did laparoscopy and went through and they investigated.
I'm like, oh my goodness.
Which I didn't expect them to fix my belly button.
I'm like, Hey, that's a nice surprise, I guess.
Like, are you in pain right now?
A little bit.
I'm about due for some medicine in about half an hour and I can tell it.
Yeah.
I didn't know if I'd be able to log on or not, but Dan's taking care of the girls.
And I just kind of saved my little chair today, but all I feel like doing.
Yeah, I bet.
Oh, I'm glad you can make it Steph.
I wasn't, I thought, oh, I bet Steph's not going to be able to.
I was, I didn't think I would.
I wasn't sure if I'd be able to yesterday was they didn't give me any
time before I'd had ear surgeries.
So they just automatically give you a patch behind your ears for nausea.
So I didn't think anything of it.
And when I lifted my head up off the table, the whole room just spun.
I went, oh, and just kind of laid there.
And the nurse was giggling about me being a lightweight.
Cause all the medicine knocked me out.
I slept all day.
And then I went upstairs and I slept all night.
Wow.
Yeah.
Now I needed a nap.
I needed a nap.
I was looking forward to that.
You're way overdue for a nap.
Way overdue for lots of sleep.
I'm so glad when you look like you're doing good.
So I feel okay.
Isn't that nice that those surgeries aren't as invasive as they used to be?
Like this, you know, major scarring and whatever.
So was it, is it a pretty small incision?
Did they do it with robotics or?
Yeah.
So I've got my belly button, which I had an umbilical
hernia for when I had Emma.
I guess baby number four and my belly button just popped.
And so I didn't even know they were going to fix it.
And he called another surgeon over and said, Hey, go ahead,
fix that when we're done.
Okay.
But then I have one off the side and one a little lower.
So I have three incisions.
Oh, but I didn't expect that.
So all those muscles are just knotted up and pretty tender.
And Emma goes, your belly.
But I know, but your belly hole.
I know, I know.
I should have worried about my belly button.
Aw, poor thing.
It'll be okay.
I promise.
I'm glad that you're doing good.
That it's okay.
Did the IV and all of the, and all of that go okay.
It went well.
She was very slick.
It was an answer prayer there.
Cause I don't handle needles well at all.
And then they did the blood work first and then they did the IV.
I'm going, Oh, yay.
So, but it went well.
Good.
Well, so far it is just us on.
I, um, apparently did not get the, um, I actually
have those, those posts set up to automatically go out two
hours before every call.
I mean, before every Thursday call, but, um, it apparently that
Facebook will only let you do them.
So many, so many, um, times out, I think either that, or maybe
I just did it so many weeks out.
I don't remember how it works, whatever it was.
Um, apparently I ran out of scheduled posts.
And, um, so last week and this week, I guess I forgot that I
didn't have them scheduled.
And so I just assumed y'all are getting the posts without me.
And, uh, needing to touch them, but apparently not.
So I will, hopefully people will see it in a minute and then, and
then pop on if they have time and they want to, but so, um, I
know it's just the two of us.
I mean, three of us, I'm at the two of y'all three of us, um,
that are on here right now, but, um, did anyone have anything that
they wanted to, to, um, start us off with?
Um, I'll try to think if there's anything that I can think of,
if y'all can't think of something.
I've got, um, like I texted you earlier and I watched your video.
So I watched the video on like God's sovereignty.
I think that's how you say it.
Sovereignty that's thank you.
Um, and, uh, our free will.
And so it was really good.
And I took, I took some notes on it and I wanted to like unpack it a little
bit more with you, if that's okay.
Yeah.
So with my client, so right now my, my focus is in this realm of like
discovering your purpose is the best way to overcome pain and
hurt and live God's vision.
And I I'm kind of like, okay.
I know that some people are going to come to me and say, but
God's will prevails regardless.
Like he'll, you know, even like, here's the point you're getting to, and it
might look like this instead of this, but either way.
no matter what you do or what you choose,
God has a purpose for you and you will fulfill it
regardless if you overcome your pain,
regardless if you make choices this way or that,
you go on the wide path versus the narrow,
you'll end up in the same place.
And so I know I'm gonna get that kind of pushback
from people, which is a great question.
And I guess I was wondering how to address that exactly.
And I liked your examples that you gave.
And I was wondering if you had any more wisdom
you could share on that.
So you said that what you're sharing,
what you share with people is about the,
is the fact that regardless of whether they overcome
their trauma, they will accomplish their destiny.
Or were you saying, or were you asking me to clarify
if that's what I was saying?
No, neither actually.
I was, so what I'm, what I'm teaching people
is like discovering their purpose
is the best way to overcome the pain and the hurt
and live God's vision.
Because when you're in your purpose, God's purpose for you,
like overcoming the pain and the hurt
kind of goes hand in hand with like agreement to him
in the spirit of who he is, who he says you are,
his protection and provision.
All of that comes, I believe from like a healing of the soul
and you can tell me if I'm on the wrong track,
I'm totally open to that.
So I'm just kind of curious about people who come to me
and say, no, that's not actually true.
And they say that it's not true
because they're saying what else is true?
Well, that no, no matter what God has a purpose for you
and it doesn't matter like how you get there.
Like I was saying about here's the point
and you get there this way or however,
that you don't necessarily need to work
through all that stuff.
God will heal you when he's ready.
He will work it out in his timing in his way
and you don't need to do anything.
You just need to sit there and be and everything will work.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, I think I understand now.
And yeah, now I'm making the connection
with what you were writing in the message.
So yeah, that is actually a very,
from a very victim mentality and that I,
the belief that, and we can have compassion on those people
because they are, all of us have either lived
through a victim mentality or are still struggling
with it in certain areas of our lives.
So we can all have compassion
and people aren't born like that.
They develop it by experiences, by experiences
and it could have been like,
by experiences, by experiences and it could have been
when they were less than a year old,
could develop when they were older.
But the point is that things happen
in which they felt that they were,
that they were completely out of control
and that the things that happened to them
were out of control.
And so therefore, it happened
because it was out of their control.
And so therefore it must mean that healing
must come out of their control.
And so it's very, very understandable perspective.
But the thing is that in reality,
our destiny isn't something that we do like,
like, oh, writing a book or I don't know,
impacting all of these people or whatever.
It's not this thing that we actually do.
It's actually, our destiny,
what we were put on this earth to do was to overcome.
It was to manifest who it is that we are in spirit
down into our soul so that it starts manifesting
in the body.
And then once we have that,
then we can give it to the rest of creation.
It will come out in our businesses.
It'll come out in the way that we interact with animals.
It will come out in people's ministries, whatever.
And so the way that we do that is
there's all of these traumas
that have been developed in the soul
and that manifest as sicknesses, stress and anxiety
in the body.
And we have to, and so overcoming, us overcoming,
our purpose and our destiny on earth
is to overcome those traumas,
is to overcome all of that.
And so, yes, sometimes God does heal us miraculously.
He'll heal us from traumas miraculously.
He will just come in from left field.
We're blindsided.
We didn't even ask for it.
Somebody else did it for us, et cetera.
But there's, that is not the same thing
as overcoming exactly.
Overcoming is where we make an intentional choice to.
partner with the Lord, even if we don't know that, that even if we don't have all the words for it,
there's an intentionality there to, to come into agreement with like what you were saying,
come into agreement with who it is that God says that we are and choose to manifest that because
we're the ones that God says that he's given me power and the authority to, to say who it is that
we are in the spirit and to manifest that down into our own soul, which is unified with our
spirit and then down into our body, which is unified with our soul and our spirit. So I,
in my own spirit, soul, and body, and each of y'all are your own spirit, soul, and body,
we're get, we're given the kingship over ourselves. And so therefore it's up to us
to, and why we were put on this earth to go through the process of overcoming our own land.
It's ours. It's mine. It's not Stephanie's. It's not yours. It's mine. And therefore I'm
responsible for overcoming it. Yes, God does do miraculous works, et cetera, but our whole
destiny, our purpose is to overcome. And because it's to come into agreement with the fact that
our identity, our identity is what God says that he is, which is what you say that you teach them.
Their identity is what he says that he is. And there is, and a lot in manifesting that identity
is, is our purpose, you know, who it is that we are. Well, we're sons and we're Kings, and we're
going to show that to our soul and our body. So it comes into agreement. And then we're going to,
therefore show the rest of the world. And then by seeing a son of God, everything is transformed
when our soul and our body recognizes and sees a son of God, which is what our spirit is.
It totally transforms. There's nothing as miraculous on earth. The same thing with
creation. Same thing with other people's souls. When they come in contact with seeing a son of
God, everything changes. There are people that, that notice how creation will flock to them,
like literally deer or nocturnal animals that come out during the daylight. And then they'll
come up to them when normally those types of creatures are scared of people. Think of kind
of like a snow white, you know, cause snow white's on steroids, but just think of like,
kind of like a snow white idea of like, there are, you know, creatures are, are, are meant,
whether it's animals or trees or whatever, to respond to sons of God, our soul and our body
does the same thing. It's meant to respond to our spirits when it sees them and recognizes that it's
a King. So that is our mandate. That is our purpose. That is our destiny, et cetera, which
sounds like what it is that you, that you teach. So that's, that's an explanation.
Was there another way that you wanted me to flesh it out?
Yeah, no, that's beautiful. And I also, so you had given some examples in your video of
Isaiah, I think it was, who God called him. God said, who will go? And he said, I will.
And the Israelites, right. And, and like the 40 years in the wilderness and that,
can you unpack, like the first one is pretty self-explanatory and the Israelites, I believe
if I know the story, right. Yeah, they were in the wilderness and they, they, can you actually
just unpack that story a little bit more? And if you have any other examples of that happening in
the Bible where somebody like, cause part of the argument for what we're talking about is that
what you said in the video about coming into agreement with God. And if we don't come into
agreement with God, then he will find someone else to do the will. Right. So yeah, I just wanted,
I would love for you to unpack that a little bit more. Okay. Yeah. So remember that the,
it says in the Bible, I don't remember the exact scripture reference. So you might want to Google
it, find the exact scripture reference, but it says that the earth, that the heaven is the Lord's
and that the earth was given to man. So that allows us, so what God is doing is he's trying
to mature us and father us as sons to look like him and act like him and to govern creation in
the same way that he governs what he created so that we can look and act like our father and give
to the earth what we have been given. We've been given salvation by the Lord. We've been given
freedom, et cetera, and freedom from frustration. And so we now want to get that into creation.
So it mentions that. And our, so the scripture verses that we'll, that we'll talk about,
you know, about the Israelites, et cetera. The reason that all of that is important is because
God gave us a mandate when he put us on this earth, he's, he, and he told Adam this, you know,
be fruitful.
and multiply and have dominion over the earth, et cetera, he was saying, look, I'm going
to father you into how to govern, how to have dominion.
And so it's not going to be me running the show, it's like, I want you to partner with
me to bring who I am in spirit and who both of us are in spirit, you as my son and me,
I want you to manifest that into the earth.
So in order for things to manifest into the earth, we partner with them.
That's the way that God created it, as opposed to him just going through and whatever he
wants done, boom, he blasts it and boom, it's done on the earth.
So therefore we constantly, if we believe that theology, then we're constantly wondering,
Lord, why aren't you saving me?
Why aren't you doing this, that, and the other for me?
And God's like, no, I'm maturing you and fathering you into partnering with me.
And that's what manifests things on the earth.
So that's why we have to agree with the Lord and receive what it is that he says that he's
given, say for instance, Canaan, in order for it to manifest.
We have to agree with the promise in order to be able to be given the promise.
He's already given the promise, but we have to be able to agree with it in order to receive
it, is my point.
So that was the case that the Israelites found themselves in.
They had left Egypt and they were all very excited.
Oh my goodness, we're being saved from being slaves.
Well, there was all the problem in going through the wilderness, constantly complaining.
They were new.
They were learning how to be fathered.
They knew nothing but slavery for 400, 450 years, however long that was.
So they had a very victim, victimized mentality, which we can understand.
They're just used to being oppressed.
So they complain, complain, complain.
But God constantly proves through all of these situations that he is faithful and that he
will always provide for and protect them.
And that if he says something, he always does it.
So that by the time they would get to Canaan, if he said, hey, look, it doesn't matter what
the outside looks like, and it doesn't matter what the environment looks like, it doesn't
matter how big the giants are.
If I say that I've given you this land and I say that you can conquer, then therefore
you can do it.
And you need to agree with me in order to be able to receive the promise and step into
the promised land.
So when they say, oh no, have you seen those giants?
We can't take them.
That's not going to be with us, et cetera, et cetera.
Then God said, fine, according to what you've said, so be it.
Because he gives us that power and the authority that what we declare to be so will be so.
They had said all of this whole time, I don't remember how long they were in the wilderness.
I thought it was, I don't remember how many months.
I could be wrong about this to take it with a grain of salt, but I thought it was approximately
a year that they were traveling from Egypt to Canaan.
It could have been shorter than that.
I don't remember.
Point is they were traveling for however long and through that time they kept saying, well,
you know, God, have you left us, have you, have you called us out into the wilderness
to die?
And I was like, no.
And so he would provide for them and he would protect them and he would do whatever it is
that they were complaining that he wouldn't do.
So by the time they get to Canaan and then they're rejecting what God said is true and
they're like, no, no, we can't, we can't conquer all of these people.
God said, okay, according to, according to your words, so be it.
I asked you to partner with me and when I give you a word, I ask you to agree with it,
which will then allow the thing to manifest on earth, meaning that it will manifest in
our lives, meaning that we will be able to receive that, that promise.
We will be able to actually live that promise out, out into the earth and because they didn't
agree with him, they didn't, and therefore they didn't receive it.
They didn't get the promise.
They didn't get the fulfillment because it required their, um, uh, required their agreement
with him.
That was a way in which they partner with the Lord, um, cause the Lord doesn't want
to do things alone.
Just like we don't want to do things alone.
He desires relationship, which is why he created us.
So he said, you've been saying all of this time that you, I brought you into the wilderness
to die.
So therefore you're going to go into the wilderness and you're going to die and you will not get
the chance to enter the promise land.
So what did they do?
It was like, Oh Lord, we're so sorry.
We will take you up on your promise.
We will choose to receive it.
And so hurry, let's rally the troops literally and let's go for it.
So they went in, but remember they'd already told God that they weren't in agreement with
him.
So when they, and they'd already,
they'd already declared that.
Hey, Carrie, how you doing?
They'd already declared that,
and so that's why they failed.
God had told them that he would make sure
that they could conquer the land.
So why did, when they actually went,
could they not conquer the land?
Because they'd already not agreed with him.
So God's like, okay, according to your words, so be it.
You're now living out what you have spoken.
So it's not like, well, God was trying to be fickle.
They're the ones who chose whether or not
they wanted to be in partnership with the Lord.
So 40 years later, the next generation,
Moses is standing there at the beginning of Deuteronomy
when he's about to die, about to go up to the mountain.
I think it was Mount, I don't remember if it was Mount,
Horeb or Mount Moriah, I don't, anyway.
And he was about to go up to the mountain and die,
and before he did, he urged that younger generation,
he's like, okay, look, your people have been here before,
your fathers were here before,
and they didn't partner with the Lord.
They did not agree that if they could conquer the land,
that if God said that he'd given them the land,
that they actually could do it.
And he urged them, not only should they learn
from their father's mistake,
but also they should look at the fact
that there were three other groups of people
that believed that they could take the land
from the Anakites, the Moabites, the Amorites,
and the, yeah, Moabites, the Amorites,
and the, or Ammonites, I think it was the Amorites,
anyway, and then the Edomites.
And they were not God's chosen people,
and Moses used the Israelites' fathers
along with these three groups of people
who all conquered the Anakites,
or just deviants of the Anakites.
And he said, hey, look,
they're not even God's chosen people.
We're not given an indication that God even promised them
that they could take land,
and yet they believed that they could.
They believed that they could receive a benefit like that
from God, whether or not God promised him,
because it doesn't indicate in the Bible
that God promised him.
But it does say that God honored the fact
that they felt that they could do it,
and God gave them the land.
So he's like, hey, look,
don't make the same mistake that your fathers did.
These, quote-unquote, unbelievers,
they agreed with the Lord, and they got the promise.
And they're not even, quote-unquote, believers.
They're not the chosen.
So he said, so he urged them to be the ones
that finally agreed with the Lord,
and they chose to be so.
And so when they went into Canaan,
then they were able to actually conquer and take it on.
So that's the story of both generations
and why certain ones went in,
and why the first ones tried to the next day
and still couldn't, because they were living out
what they had already declared.
They were already living out the fact
that they had not agreed with the Lord.
So that's the Israelite one.
And then I think you said that Isaiah
was self-explanatory, but did I answer your question?
Yeah, I just wondered if you had any other examples of that.
But yeah, you definitely answered with those ones, for sure.
Those, I'm trying to think if there were anything else.
What specifically?
Well, you know what?
Let's look at the counter-arguments.
So like if somebody said, well, there's the story
in the Bible of God's purpose being realized
even when someone didn't agree with him.
Let's say Paul on the road to Damascus or something.
Paul wasn't in agreement with him
when he came down and transformed him.
So I know that's possible.
Most of the time in the Bible, it's about surrendering,
but there is for sure that time.
I don't know if there are others
where he just kind of just changed somebody
who wasn't ready, necessarily in agreement with him.
So are there arguments on that,
in that example with Paul or in others?
So Paul, for instance, his free will was not violated.
Jesus came to him in a very amazing way
where he offered Paul the opportunity
to receive him and to change.
And Paul chose to do so.
But Paul didn't have to.
Jesus didn't say, hey, look, I'm gonna change you
and you're gonna be forced to agree with me,
forced to like me, whatever he's like.
He's like, hey, Paul, I'm presenting myself to you.
You don't know, but I am your bridegroom
and you are my bride and I'm presenting myself to you
and I'm asking, why are you persecuting me?
And so then it ended up that Saul became blind
and then he was there for three days.
waiting for, was it Anais? Anais, I don't remember his name. And he came and, you know,
the scales fell from Paul's eyes. But then what did Saul say? Saul said, hey, look,
will you baptize me? So Saul had to come into agreement in order for the Lord to change him.
Jesus didn't like change, you know, Paul and, you know, against Paul's free will.
He had to, Paul had to make a choice about whether or not he wanted to, he wanted to
partner with the Lord in that. As far, okay, here's a very interesting example. Like say,
let's use physical healing. It could be, it could go for the same as inner trauma as well.
But physical healing, there are people that I know that have, multiple people that have been
healed and lost their healing because someone else believed for them. And they were so excited
that they received this miraculous healing, but they couldn't keep it. And the reason they
couldn't keep it is because it's their land. They're the ones who have, there are certain
agreements that if they continue to make agreements with the world, so to speak, you know,
against the Lord, well, then the whole, then the reason why that illness came on in the first place
is still is that reason is still there. And so the illness comes on again,
that healing comes on again, that healing, that illness comes on again. And therefore
they can't keep the healing. And I've heard of that happening multiple times. I personally know
people that that's happened to, and these aren't small healing. And these are big, major,
like life altering healings. These two of the people that I'm thinking of were on bedrest.
I mean, they were not bedrest. They were bedridden, not bedrest for pregnancy. They were
bedridden and they were healed and they lost their healing. They kept it for a little bit.
And then because they themselves had made agreements that they hadn't changed,
then, you know, in their inner healing, then those same traumas, then their body manifested those
same traumas again, as far as inner healing, the same thing would go with inner healing that,
you know, say for instance, you know, someone could, the Lord could come in and do a mighty
work, you know, as he does in some churches, you know, people will go into, go into a church,
someone will pray for him. And all of a sudden they just, the blinders come off,
the scales come off their eyes, and they just feel rejuvenated and joyful or whatever,
but they can continue to choose out of habit to make, to come at it from their old mindset
and their old perspective. And because even if they're not triggered, they can choose,
like say, for instance, they go into a situation that normally they would have been triggered in,
say, for instance, they're not triggered. However, they're in so much of a habit of mindset
of how to view and handle those types of situations that they come into agreement
with something again, and then continue to do it because their mind hasn't been renewed.
They themselves didn't come into agreement with something new. They, they were just miraculously,
they were just miraculously healed of a particular trauma.
There are traumas that I've been healed from that to a particular measure that if I'm not,
if I do not, if I do not continue to stay in agreement with what God, where God has brought
me so far, I can revert because I'm choosing to, again, pick up old agreements again. So anyway.
Yeah. Those were awesome examples. Thank you.
Carrie, how you doing? I meant, I meant to get back to you both yesterday and today,
and I'm so sorry. I promise I haven't forgotten you.
No, that's totally fine. I am doing better today.
I am. If we don't get taken care of, but anything that you need for me on this call,
I will Marco Polo you. I promise. I promise. I did not forget.
It's totally fine. I think I have multiple people to get back to, including Alana.
So unless I actually just answered your question, Alana, you're going to have to remind me if I
answered your Marco Polo question. No, the Marco Polo was like different. It was a whole different
topic. I think. Okay. Okay. Well, I'll get back to your Marco Polo too.
Because the group is getting bigger now and it's not just private sessions.
And it's it's also Marco Polo's and the Marco Polo's are not something that I offer as part of the part of the program.
So that's why it's just kind of like I asked for y'all's grace that it's just something that and that I offer to y'all of whenever I can get to it. I'll get to it, but it's not part of the program. And so just so and anyway, so that's why just
It was sometimes it might take me a bit longer with the group so big. Now I'm only able to get to so many people so quickly. So I'm very sorry.
All good.
Does
Anyone have anything else I there was something that I was thinking of, but I think I talked about it last time and
And
And you know what, there might be one other thing y'all let me know. I don't know if you if you're still going to be able to see me if I switch screens.
You can tell me
Can y'all still see me.
We don't picture. We see your picture just
Picture. Okay, sorry. So I'm just looking back at something really
And really quickly to just in case no one has anything. Oh, there it is. Okay.
Okay, I had to remind myself of the other thing that I wanted to and that I could bring up if
If someone else didn't have anything.
So,
Well, it looks like no one has anything. So I'll just jump right in. Y'all, y'all feel free to like a new yourselves if you and if you think of something you want to ask, um, the
One of the things that I'm learning how to do and I feel
I'm an answer. I don't
I don't and
I'm very careful about telling y'all things that making sure that the things I tell you are things that I am living
And that I've internalized that I've owned in my own relationship and I walk out as opposed to all of these things that I'm hearing other people say
And then I think it's a really good teaching and therefore I'm just like parroting and back to you.
And so, so understand that this is something new that I'm actually walking in, but I the Lord's teaching me how to do it, but I feel sure enough that it's right.
That I'm putting my bet that I'm living like this now and but I'm very new at it. So I don't really have much to say about it. It's just something that I kind of want to put out there.
As as something for y'all to kind of like to on just like I'm chewing on it and I'm already I'm already stepping out on it and actively and that is the fact that and
I am coming to
I'm beginning. Okay, so I have lived my life trying extremely hard to avoid at all costs and making sub optimal decisions so
Decisions that are good, but they're not best
And I have realized just I think the Lord's just kind of hit me over the head with it. The past like few maybe week, I guess. This was something that I'm that a friend of mine shared with me.
About is exactly a week ago last Thursday.
About, about the fact that because I have made I've lived my life. I've lived my life so stifled because I didn't want to do anything below God's best
I didn't want to do anything below God's best. But the problem is that that means, though, often that I'm not partnering with the Lord and bringing my own heart to the table to be considered
And you know something that in other words, my own heart, meaning my own contribution like in and of myself. Hey, Lord, you know, you've come up with ideas that will. Here's my idea. What do we think about this.
Um, and so that that's one of the problems with me living life like that and being so afraid of making sub optimal decisions that I end up just being quiet and just trying to wait for
Whatever it is, he said, and then I and I and I freeze in there and I don't move forward and I don't move backward. Well, God can more easily steer a ship that is moving
Than one that's not. Same thing with it, you know, we always talk about like a parked car. It's easier for God to to move
to steer a parked car when the car is moving.
Otherwise, the car just doesn't add change.
If it's just parked and he can turn the wheel however way he wants it.
But if we're not moving, well,
we're not going to head in a different direction.
We're just going to stay right where we are.
Then the other thing is that the other problem with the suboptimal decisions is,
yeah, I'm not moving.
Oh, well, no. Sorry, I did mention them both.
I'm not moving.
And then the other thing was that I'm not bringing myself to the table.
So what I'm now learning to do is I'm now learning how to just make a decision
and then calling God good.
Okay, God, I believe that you're good.
I believe that your character is good and loving,
that you are good and you are loved.
And I'm discovering, Lord, and I'm having you reveal to me
to what degree you are love and good.
What does love and good from you look like?
What does it look like, period, before it even manifests into the earth?
What does it look like?
And how good are you?
How much love are you?
And then as we extend that, Lord, what does that look like manifested into my life?
What is it that I can,
what is it that I should have enough bravery to believe will happen?
And enough bravery to step into to what decision should I start making?
Because you'll back me up on them.
And I don't mean that I'm making that, I'm saying,
oh, we should just be making all these decisions
to do whatever we want out of our soul, you know,
which is trying so hard to protect and provide for us,
believing that God's not doing that,
and God will just back us up on the fact that we're trying to live life on our own.
I'm not talking about making decisions from that perspective,
but understanding that at the same time that God is fathering me into how to be a king,
how to make kingly decisions,
not to be a robot or a parrot that parrots what everything he says and has no voice.
He's teaching me to look like him,
but making my own decisions and executing those decisions.
And when I execute those decisions,
they're the same type of thing that my father would do.
That is what he's fathering me into.
So therefore, in order to learn how to do that,
it's the same thing that a child has to learn how to do.
They have to start making their own decisions.
A friend of mine uses the example of shoes.
He says that, okay, well, when you're really, really little,
you don't get to pick your shoes,
and your parents just say, these are your shoes,
and these are the ones you're going to wear.
Then as you get a little bit older, then they give you two choices.
You can wear these shoes or you can wear these shoes.
Mommy, I want to wear those shoes.
No, we can't wear those shoes today.
These shoes or these shoes.
And so it expands a child's ability to choose for themselves,
okay, what is it that I want?
Do I want the red today or the blue?
I can't get the yellow today.
I don't know why mom won't let me wear galoshes,
but she says I can't, and I have to pick one of these others.
So it restricts our decision-making ability
so that we don't hurt ourselves,
but we still have the ability to learn how to make decisions.
Then as we get older, then we can go to a store,
and our parents ask, which shoes do you want to buy?
And then we learn how to do that.
And eventually, we've learned how to make decisions
to the point, you know, failing.
I don't want to say failing,
but like where we've hurt ourselves in making wrong shoe choices,
and our parents just kind of let us live with the consequences.
Like, are you sure that you want to go out there like that?
Like a kid going out without a coat,
and you're like, hey, look, you really need a coat on.
Well, once they get to be a teenager,
you don't force them to wear the coat.
You might harass them,
and certain mothers might harass them to wear the coat.
But a teenager gets to the point where it's just like,
okay, we're going to let them suffer the consequences.
They say they don't need a coat.
I know they're going out on a hayride tonight,
and I know it's expected to get down in the 40s.
They're going to learn next time to watch the weather.
They're going to learn to do all this.
I've taught them how to make good decisions,
and they're choosing voluntarily
to make this particular decision.
So they're going to learn in a protected environment
where they're not going to get frostbite.
That next time they need to be making better decisions.
So it's just this process.
Well, God does the same thing with us.
So that means that he gets to the point
where I make my own decisions.
so to speak, and I don't always have to sit there waiting for what is he going to say next and
And and and not move until he says something he's teaching me how to make decisions
So therefore I have to make decisions
So what I do is so I'm not so much afraid of making so optimal decisions
I'm still very concerned about it, but to be perfectly transparent and honest
But my point is I'm actually making them. That's my point
I'm actually making decisions that I'm not sure if they're suboptimal or not. My point is I'm risking it and
I'm that's not normal for me
I'm not used to risking the fact that I might not make the best decision and this may not be God's quote-unquote best
Because I've now decided that it is more important to me
To have a living, breathing, life-giving relationship with a being and
allow him to father me into who it is that he says that he wants me to be as
opposed to
living life
Checking all of these boxes and hitting all these milestones
Because he's showing me that is my life
My life isn't this set thing of all of these checkboxes and all these milestones. I'm supposed to pass
But that you know have been dictated in heaven prior to this it's like no I want you to have a living, breathing,
life-giving relationship with me and the way that you do that is you flow
It's not static. You don't have this list that you're checking off, etc. But he's doing this in
phases for me. He's currently what the Lord's doing right now is I don't know if we're on the like
the two-shoes step or if we're like a whole, you know, like a small section of the store and he's like, okay, well
You know as long as it's in your size, you know
And as long as it's a sneaker you can pick from these ten
I don't know which phase that I'm in whatever it is
I'm in a particular phase where he's not just giving you the shoes and he's saying these are the only shoes you can wear
He does sometimes sometimes he'll tell me point like Ashley. I'd like you to do this. I'd like us to do this together
I'd like us to go to this particular place together
So now I I just made a decision that I'm gonna go back to Colorado
I left Colorado a few days ago, and I'm going back to Colorado because
I
was given an invitation
somebody I've never met has a
Has a really her grandparents have a really nice chalet in in mountains, and I do not know this person
She's friends of a friend of a friend
That's how far back this goes and she heard some things about me. Apparently she's going through a phase
A phase a season and transition with the Lord
That I'm not sure if it's a season. I've been through or that I'm going through my friend
Just explained all of this to me
And so I was actually planning to head across the southern United States towards the East Coast
That was the new trip that I was planning suddenly this random person
You know that hears about me from through from a friend from friend from friend
She invites this woman that she doesn't know to come up and stay with her and her girlfriends for a week
And so that we can we can talk about stuff and just meet and whatever. So I told the Lord it's like, okay God, I
Don't know what you want me to do
But it in truth with this whole thing that kind of came up out of nowhere is very intriguing to me
Because it's a very interesting situation
So I want to see how you
So I'm gonna follow it
And I'm interested to see how you show up in it
That's what I told him. I'm just interested in seeing Lord who you are when I do that. I
Don't know what's gonna happen
I don't know if I didn't get there and the Lord's just gonna be like Ashley
Yeah, you shouldn't have done that or if he's gonna be like, yes Ashley see I'm gonna prove to you
I'm gonna prove to you while you're here that these are the types of decisions
I want you to make but see even when I go I'm still gonna be kind of wondering
okay, so what element of
The decision and the situation and how I made the decision
Worked out this way because understand it's a relationship. It's not a formula
So it's not like there's this particular formula. I need to be working out
I'm getting to know the the being that I'm married to
that's what I'm getting to know and
And so I that's just something new that I am learning and in stepping out big-time because
I am going out to a place I've never been before.
And with a person that I've never, in people, she's spotted some girlfriends that I have
never met.
And there are all kinds of other factors that I'm aware of that in my life going on right
now that could be affected by me being there.
I'm like, I don't know.
I don't know what's going to happen.
I don't know how the Lord is going to show up.
But I'm like, Lord, I want to know you.
So I'm going to go there.
And I'm going to see who you are in me traveling there, me traveling 14 hours to get there
one shot, and then being there for a week, meeting people I don't know, and being alone
with them.
I don't know.
It's gonna be like that, Lord, I want to see who you are and how you talk to me and and
all of that.
So this for this, for y'all may not be a big deal, these types of decisions.
For me, I don't make decisions like that.
I only move if God says so and if he said and if he doesn't say so, I assume the answer
is no.
So it's been a very stifled, stifled life.
So I don't have much to tell y'all about all of that as far as like how to do this in your
own lives.
I'm just wanting to give you, for one thing, some insight into something that I'm walking
through while I'm in the middle of it, so that you know, when I'm telling you things
that that feel like, oh my word, Ashley, do you know how much of a risk that is for
me?
Do you know how much of a sacrifice that is for me?
Do you know whatever?
Like, I wanted y'all to know some things while I'm going through them of like, yeah, I'm
living certain, I'm living things out right now.
And for each of us, the decisions that I or each of you make, is the risk is going to
feel different.
Certain things are going to feel like a bigger risk to me than they are going to be to any
of y'all and vice versa.
But the point is, so there that I wanted to mention it for that reason.
And then I also, it was just something new that God is, that God is just has on my heart
that I am learning to own and I've owned it in belief.
I am choosing that this is true, but now I'm walking it out to actually see how the word
shows up like that, to have him flesh this idea out for me.
And, and that is what I've just explained about suboptimal decisions, plus the whole
idea of calling God good and stepping out on believing that he's good is actually more
valuable to him in my relationship with him than hearing and obeying.
I don't know about for y'all, that is not the theology that I grew up with.
And that's very, it feels very extreme to me, feels very, very different, but my God
operates so very differently.
I'm discovering than I ever believed that he up to this point, you know, that he did.
And so anyway, I just, I'm, like I said, I'm just stepping out and learning to own the
fact that he's more pleased by me calling him good in my life and calling him to show
up in whatever good and love looks like, which I don't get to dictate to him.
I don't get to dictate, Lord, I'm going to do all these things and I want you to make
them work for me just smoothly.
I don't get to do that.
I just tell him, Lord, I'm going to, I'm calling you good.
I'm saying you are good and you are loved and you are more so than to any degree that
I have believed thus far.
And I'm asking that you just, that you show up in my life like that.
And I don't know what good and love looks like.
I don't, it might be that this thing works out.
It might be that this thing doesn't work out so smoothly, but whatever it is, I'm asking
that you just reveal whatever good and love of your character actually looks like.
And I'm choosing that you desire more of a relationship with me than for me to strictly
hear and obey you, that you're more pleased with me standing on your character and declaring
you to be good in love and to step out in all of my decisions because I believe that
you're good and you're loved than you wanting me to strictly hear and obey.
So anyway, I know that that's really not anything that I can tell y'all like, oh, well, this
is how you do it.
I'm doing it right now, so I'm figuring it out.
But I just thought that maybe it was, it was something new that I'm learning and was just
kind of introduced that idea.
I was just basically introduced to that idea in these words about a week ago, in fact,
exactly a week ago last Thursday.
So like I mentioned, so there's that.
So oh and it is already almost almost an hour, but I'm did anybody and have anything and for before we be
Don't everybody talk at once. I can't hear you all on top of each other. I
Already had my turn for half an hour, so I'm good
All right
Okay, well it's good to see all of y'all and I'm Steph I'm so glad that you're doing good and after your
After your eyes surgery yesterday. It was yesterday, right Wednesday
Yeah yesterday. Yeah good
I'm glad that you're doing good
And I know you probably need to go get a pain meds unless you grabbed them because she said you needed them within 30 minutes
Yeah, okay
No, I'm not too far from bed. Anyway, so I should be okay. Oh good. You probably hear puppies fighting in the background
So as soon as the big girls come down to take them. I'm out
Oh
Yeah
And Carrie and it's good to see you too. I will jump on Marco Polo and answer you. I apologize. You wouldn't think that
I'd be busy, but I am
So every time I like hit home base
Okay, rally the troops before and he and I had I've had like
Contacts with that clients and whatever since I've been back. And so anyway, sorry, I'm trying to squeeze everything in
That's totally fine take your time I totally understand
And good just oops
Sorry.
There we go. And I get to see you, Ilana. I'm so glad that everything went well and for this weekend and and by the way, those if y'all
If y'all aren't Facebook friends with Ilana, you should be. You should go see all of her cute birthday party pictures from her little five year old of a is
Birthday where she had to they were both very colorful the unicorn birthday party and then a and then a
princess, you know, Disney princesses and
Birthday party. So so Elsa showed up
Yeah, we we had a limit all of a sudden imposed on Saturday morning of 10 people so
We we change the switch things around and it worked out really well. And we had two parties and then on her actual birthday on Tuesday, we had another little party three of us and then
The three neighbors. They couldn't come over on the weekend because the numbers would be too high came over tonight for a fourth party.
So she is
She is partied out now I think she's probably good until her next birthday, so
We think that's
Exciting.
Yeah, it's new stuff special stuff after all of this pandemic. I mean, nobody should be staying staying at home, you know, when they're on on their fifth year, you know,
Well,
She talked about her birthday almost every day this year since she turned four.
It was her birthday. It was someone's birthday every day. When's my birthday. How long till my birthday so
It finally came and you know she's been isolated quite a bit. And she's an only child. So it's just nice to give her that opportunity and
Yeah, so thanks.
Yeah.
Well, y'all did a good job.
I wanted a birthday like that man.
Somebody
Like that.
One day when you're allowed to come to Canada.
It's that's right. Actually, you know, the last time that I had a Amanda, my, my best friend. She threw me a really what felt like to me. It was a really big birthday party. She threw me a full blown tea party. Tell you what, nicest tea party. I've ever been to. It was my birthday. I drank out of
A drink out of that Carrie sent me a beautiful Royal Albert teacup and saucer and several months ago. And so I had it in time for my birthday and we use my teacup collection for the
To all drink tea out of and I drank out of Amanda asked me which which teacups you want to drink out of. I was like, obviously the Royal Albert when they carry just gave me. So anyway, it's very, very special and special time so
Very special day
That's awesome. Love it.
Well, good to see all of y'all and and I guess I will see y'all next week I will should be in Colorado and next week for for our meeting. So anyway, let's get to see y'all. I'll see y'all later.
Hey, bye.
Bye.