Hey!
How you doing?
Good!
I actually got signed in on time.
Yes!
I hadn't gotten a chance to finish watching your Marco Polo, but I'm very excited for
you.
So I didn't get all the answers to my questions yet.
I'm excited.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, I sent you back one.
Yay!
So I'll look forward to seeing it, watching it.
So I know you're excited.
Is everything good with you?
Oh, I am.
Yes, yes.
Everything's good with me.
I've been here for about a week, plan to leave sometime next week.
I was thinking Sunday, but it's looking more like possibly Wednesday.
We'll see.
Anyways.
Okay.
So we're headed to North Carolina to a conference, and on the way I'm going to just see different
people.
I'm going to see, looks like I'm going to get to see Susan and meet her in person for
the first time, and get to see Holly after 14 years, which just shouldn't be.
That'll be fun.
I know.
And I get to see a friend of mine, Julius.
So Julius is the gentleman who did the first, he's a black pastor in Greensboro, North Carolina.
Hey, Amy!
Hey!
And he's the one who did my first interview.
So he had a Monday morning, not a podcast, but kind of like a, well, yeah, I mean, I
guess it's a podcast.
I always think of a podcast as in you can't see the person.
But I mean, anyway, so, but it was on Facebook, and so I'm going to get to go up there and
meet he and his wife in person.
So that's exciting because he and I have gotten to be good friends, and he really pours into
me, which I appreciate.
Hey, Linda!
So then I'm going to Asheville, and to a conference there, and get to meet up with some friends
that I was with in Missouri when I was with Linda.
We're going to all meet up again, or several of us are in Asheville.
And then after that, I don't know, I'm either going to Ohio or Virginia, and I'm not sure
which.
In Virginia, I would be visiting with my cousins, and then possibly going out to Washington,
D.C. to see my, one of my cousins, who is, I think he's the chief, I think he's the press
secretary for a Republican senator from Washington State.
And I haven't gotten to see him in a long time.
And anyway, so I might go up and see him for a day, and then going to eventually, around
mid-November, be back in Houston.
So for at least a week, if not two.
That's all I know so far.
It could change tomorrow, but that's what I got.
That'd be fun!
I know, yeah, I'm looking forward to it.
So I have these, like, these landmarks, you know, these places, these conferences that
I have to, that I'm going to, that I'm scheduled for, and then I'm, and I'm planning everything
else around, around those, so yeah, that'd be good.
I'll be in, I'll be in West Virginia the 22nd through the 26th of this month.
Really?
West Virginia, or is it Western Virginia?
No, West Virginia.
Okay, what part?
The state, West Virginia.
Huntington.
Okay, you'll be about three hours from me.
Where are you?
I'm outside of Parkersburg.
That's only about two, a little over two hours, because my first husband was from Parkersburg.
We used to do that trip a lot from Huntington to Parkersburg.
Okay.
It's not very far.
We're actually going to fly into Cleveland and drive down, because we got really cheap
tickets, so yeah.
Okay.
Interesting, but I'm going.
Are you able to fly into Charleston?
What's that?
Would you be able to fly into Charleston?
Would that be any, I don't know what that costs, though.
Well, A, I don't want to fly into Charleston, because of that runway.
It's a scary airport, you know.
Yeah.
But it's a lot, we just found, we got tickets $63 round trip to Cleveland, so we just couldn't.
Yeah.
Oh, my word.
One ticket was that.
They're paying you to fly.
Yeah.
Nobody wants to go to Cleveland.
Because I looked at Columbus.
Columbus was like $2.25, $2.45 a ticket.
And Cleveland, which is two hours away, was $63.
Yeah.
So where are y'all going to?
West Virginia?
It's kind of a family reunion.
Fun.
So all four of y'all?
Yeah.
Good.
Well, that'll be fun.
Good.
I'm assuming that Jonathan's been on an airplane before.
I know the other kids have.
Oh, lots.
Yeah, lots.
Does he like it?
He's OK with it now.
It used to freak him out.
Oh, sorry.
Yeah.
I like flying.
I don't like falling.
So I don't like roller coasters.
But I like flying.
So as long as there's intentionality
in what it is I'm doing, I enjoy it.
When it's just kind of like, hey, let's free fall.
No, let's not.
I don't like that feeling, that feeling that other people like.
I don't like that feeling.
I don't like my stomach and my throat.
I just don't.
So no ziplining?
I would love to zipline.
I would love to.
Yes, that would be fun.
Again, flying, not falling.
True.
Totally different.
Very true.
Yeah.
Bungee jumping, not so much.
Yeah, I bungee jumped from an 80-foot tower.
That's so impressive.
It was impressive.
You know how I was scared to death?
And it was a long story.
My unbelieving, well, former Christian boss
was there, this was many years ago.
And I got to the top.
I was like, I can't do it.
I can't do it.
He goes, Amy, you said that God gives you
strength to do everything.
So I had to do it.
I know.
I'm like, that's it.
I went to God's heart and obligated.
So it's like, you don't even experience it.
You're like at the bottom before you realize that it's this fast.
Yeah, oh, well, that's good.
My dad loves skydiving.
And I talked to his, I talked to the guy
that he jumped with when he skydived.
And this guy had, this guy was fascinating.
So this guy was supposed to be in the Black Hawk Down mission.
But he hurt his, he hurt his ankle or something like that.
And it was just like right before he and his unit
were supposed to fly out.
And so he didn't go on it.
Well, we'll come to find out if, I mean,
or eventually it became like this iconic mission because
of everything that happened.
But he was supposed to be, he was supposed
to be with all those guys.
Anyway, I mean, he's got thousands of jumps to his name.
I mean, thousands.
Anyway, so he was telling me about the whole thing.
I said, well, I don't like the feeling of falling.
And he said, well, you don't feel like you're falling
when you skydive.
He said, because you're so high up at the time
that when you fall, there's so much pressure that you feel,
he said, you kind of feel like you're on the ground.
He said, there's so much resistance that he said,
you don't get that feeling of falling for a while
until you start picking at speed
and getting closer to the ground.
And he said, and by the time that you would normally feel
that feeling of falling, you, it's time to pull that,
to pull the parachute.
So I was like, oh, well, then who knows?
Maybe one day I'll do it.
I've got to work up my courage.
Yeah.
So does anyone, hey, Renee, how are you?
Good to see you.
Oh, sorry, you're on mute.
Okay, sorry.
I'm good, I'm good.
Good to see you.
Good to see you too.
So you're perfect timing.
We're just getting started.
I always like to chat and catch up with everybody
when they jump on.
So does anyone have anything to start us out with?
Any question or anything that you've been going through?
While I try to think of something
that I've talked to a client about at some point this week
that I thought might be really significant
to mention to everybody,
or maybe what the Lord's talking to me about.
Oh yeah, I do have something.
But anyway, I always like to hold off on those
for a lull in the conversation.
Does anyone have anything that they thought
that they wanted to bring up?
Okay, do I need to get us started?
Okay, so the thing that the Lord's been talking to me about
is,
And it's understanding when I'm moving into greater measures of rest and understanding
how to release more and more, one of the things that we struggle with, you know, when he's
calling us to have faith, when he's calling us to lean on him, when he's calling us to
trust that what he says is true, and then what he says about us is true and all of that.
And then we actually have to step out and act on it.
We have to put something on the line, we have to put ourselves on the line.
There's a death that's involved in the fact that we're having to release and let go of
something that we've been wanting to hang on to.
And that's obviously created all this resistance.
So one of the things that I have been, that I was just struggling with is when the Lord
was moving me into greater measures, and he was expanding my boundaries and like, Ashley,
I need you to trust me, like in this new way or to this greater measure, I was finding
myself always struggling and kind of like almost like always holding my breath.
And I knew that that wasn't full faith and full trust and full leaning on him.
But something that I didn't think about is he said that he has been impressing on me
that the test, so to speak, that what it is that I'm going through is not for the purpose
of passing a test.
And it's not for the purpose of learning how to get it right.
It's what God is wanting me to do in the process is to learn to enjoy it.
And we've talked about this before when we've and I don't remember when I've touched on
this, but the fact that we need to allow ourselves to be loved.
So when we're in this relationship with the Lord, he is, we're lovers, right?
And so he's wanting to love us according to his character in the way that he wants to
love us.
And we don't get to dictate to him how we want to be loved, because it's not, it's not
very loving.
And, you know, there's that whole idea of like, that we've talked about before about
the five love languages, where that, that there's an element of the five languages that
are obviously perfectly fine.
There's nothing wrong with them.
But what I think is very important for us to realize is, is that we don't need to get
stuck in this idea that, well, this is my love language.
And therefore everyone else needs to cater to how I receive love.
It's just something that we can understand about ourselves and something that gets that
helps us understand someone else.
But what's important in a relationship with someone is that we allow them to love us the
way that they choose to show love.
They can, they can know what is, is, and that what, how we most readily receive love like,
well, I must readily receive it, you know, when people give me quality time or when people,
you know, give me gifts or whatever the thing may be.
And so they can, they can try to speak our language, but it's very important that we
allow ourselves to receive what someone else is giving us because a gift is all about the
giver and not about the receiver.
So it's all about the giver.
Then the person giving is the one that needs to, that gets to dictate how, how they're,
they are, they're loving us.
It's our choice as to whether or not we receive it.
Absolutely.
But in our relationship with the Lord, which is different than people, because with people,
sometimes they're, they can say that they're loving us, but we're just like, no, that's
just because you, just because they say that they're loving us and just because they do
something initiated by warm thoughts towards us does not make what they're doing actually
a loving thing to do.
But with the Lord, anything that he gives us and anything that he projects towards us
is always not only from love because that's of his character, but it's always a loving
thing to do.
And so for, with him, we have to, it's important for us to understand that we are safe to be
able to receive whatever he's giving us because we're not receiving it in the, with the same
risk that we are with people where if we're not viewing things correctly, what they're
saying they're giving us as love actually is us receiving some kind of abuse that is,
has the name of love.
With God, we don't have that risk.
So my point is that he's teaching me in this process with him, when he's teaching me to
trust him in various areas of my life, he's teaching me to actually, a little, to,
to rest to the point that I enjoy it
because I'm allowing myself to be loved.
This is how he's choosing to love me at this time.
He's allowing his circumstances to happen.
I don't fully understand them.
I don't see, I don't readily interpret
what's happening as comforting or as joyful or whatever,
but if the Lord is doing it and the Lord is in it,
it means not only that it's a loving thing for him to do,
it's not like this action.
It's him actually pouring an essence of his character on me
in an element of flow.
And I get, in other words,
it's a living, breathing thing is my point.
It's not just this object that he gives us
or this event that he allows to happen
or this feeling that he allows us to feel.
It's this living flow straight from his character
through, in spirit, from his spirit into our spirit.
And it's this living thing that I get an opportunity
to honor by receiving joyfully
and by enjoying where it is that I am
as opposed to feeling that wherever it is I am
that I'm supposed to trust the Lord in a newer measures
I'm struggling with
and I'm getting more and more anxious
and I'm feeling the stress rise
because that's not me allowing myself to be loved
and allowing myself to be loved
in the way that God chooses to love on me
is a way in which I can honor him
and is a way in which I can display my trust
that even though I'm not seeing how this is,
in other words, it's like,
yeah, but God, this isn't speaking my love language.
No, but I need you to receive from me
the fact that I'm choosing to give you something
and I'm choosing to give you my love.
So I'm asking that you receive it as love.
Anyway, it's a very, very new
and very major shift in my perspective
as opposed to taking all of these new struggles
where it just feels like,
oh my goodness, I can't believe
I've got to trust him to this degree.
Oh my goodness, he's gonna get me through.
As opposed, instead of me just struggling through
and faithing it in and trying to trust it
and just trying to just kind of like hold my confession
and just hold on,
God's like, no, Ashley, relax and enjoy right now.
Don't enjoy in anticipation of what's going to be
if I come through for you.
Don't hang your enjoyment on the future.
Enjoy right now.
Enjoy this moment
because I'm not always planning for you later.
I planned yesterday for right now.
So enjoy the right now.
So that's been very, very major shift for me
because I have some areas of my life
in which I'm feeling, even today,
you know, things coming up into my throat
and I have to remember,
no, Ashley, God wants you to enjoy this.
This is God loving you.
Allow yourself to be loved.
Allow yourself to just sit in love in the moment.
So anyway, that's something
that he's been talking to me about.
So as I was talking,
does anyone have any thoughts on that?
Anything that the Lord has been talking to y'all about
or any questions that you have related to that
or completely unrelated?
It just reminds me of a movie
which, I don't know, helps me to remember things
when I attach it to something like a movie.
I don't know if,
have you ever seen the movie Evan Almighty with Steve?
No, but I've heard of it.
Yeah, where it's kind of a take on the Noah story,
but it's in modern time.
Oh, yes.
Okay.
Well, it's funny because his wife leaves him
and takes the kids because she thinks he's crazy
and he's standing in the front yard
and the, well, the sprinkler comes on and hits the window.
So he thinks finally the rain is coming.
So he runs outside.
It's happening, it's happening.
And his wife is walking away with the kids
and gets in the car and he's standing there
and the sprinkler system shifts to another area.
So it hits him in the face.
And he just stands there and he looks up to heaven
and he says, I know everything you do
is because you love me.
Could you love me less?
Yeah, that's funny.
I know, it's hard, it's hard to receive whatever it is that God's giving is actually being
loved.
That's, yeah.
But yeah, it's exactly like what you're saying.
And I just, I just, it's amazing to me that some of those Hollywood movies have some very
profound lines in them.
That one has several, and that's one of them.
So yeah.
Yeah.
Let me see.
There is something else that the Lord had been talking to me about.
And that is about not counting the cost beforehand.
So when God is calling us into something and calling us to trust him in a particular way,
it could be in finances, could be in a relationship, whatever.
Whether we're in the middle of it or God is calling us to take action in order to step
into it.
So in other words, you know, Hey, I want to, I want to reveal to you, improve to you experientially
that I am as this, that I'm loving goodness to this degree.
And then so whether or not we're in it or God's calling us to step into it, it's one
of the things that, that the Lord is talking to me about and I don't fully have fleshed
out yet is because I'm learning to step out in it is to not count the cost.
To not count the cost, not only of, of what would happen if he quote unquote didn't come
through.
So in other words, so God, God is always faithful, but the thing is that we all know that there
are things that we've asked the Lord for or things that we, that the Lord promised
that we thought came and went the moment and the dead, the deadline or whatever came and
went and we're like, Lord, I just don't see that you came through.
And so it's important on this side of it for us to not, when God calls me to step out into
something and says, I want you to trust me in this, I want you to believe me for this.
I'm giving you a promise that I want you to step in, to engage with me in and agree
with me in and trust me for, um, but I, but he's telling me to not count the cost of what
would happen and the repercussions that would happen because of my actions towards that
thing.
If the deadline comes and goes, or if, um, you know, or if whatever it is that he promised,
you know, doesn't look like it was fulfilled in the way that I thought was so evident that
God had promised.
I mean, like, Lord, you said it point blank and such and such happened to the opposite.
You know, what, what am I missing here?
Um, and we don't see that there is any way for the promise to be fulfilled after a specific
date, a specific time to specific event, whatever.
So it's not only not counting the cost of what would happen in my life if I were to
make those steps and he doesn't quote unquote come through, but also, and this is very important,
especially when I'm asking for things that he hasn't come to me and promised me, I'm
just learning how to, I'm learning how to ask you remember, I wish I could remember
which, um, Oh, wait a minute.
I have it here.
It's like, um, in Matthew, Matthew seven, uh, seven, where it says, you know, asking
it will be given to you.
See, can you will find knock and door will be opened unto you for everyone who asks receives
he who seeks spines and to him who knocks the door will be opened.
Which of you, if his son asked for bread, we'll give him a stone, or if he asked for
a fish, we'll give him a snake.
If you then though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children.
How much more would your father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him?
Um, and God continues to take me back to that passage.
I'll just open my Bible and boom, that's what he takes me to.
And then the next night I just opened my Bible and boom, that's what he takes me to.
I'm like, Oh my goodness.
So he's just really driving at home right now to, to learn how to ask him.
And that's something I'm having to actually learn.
It's not something that I know how to do.
I don't know how to ask him for things where I am not asking because I'm fearful, but I'm
asking because it's a true desire of my heart where my heart has been unveiled from fear.
So in other words, if my heart, imagine my heart, you know, is being veiled by fear.
Well then anything that then the desires of my heart are coming through that veil of fear
and then they look very different than they, they look like they're in constant self-protection,
self-preservation mode, where if I take that veil of fear off, then I can discover what
the truth is.
true desires of my heart are now that I know that God always protects and provides for
me and I don't have to be afraid.
So I'm having to learn how to ask from that vantage point.
I'm having to learn how to shift out of being veiled by fear so that I can see the true
desires of my heart and also sense the Father's heart and ask accordingly.
According to that perspective of I'm aware of the desires of my heart and I can sense
the desires of His and from that vantage point, I can ask Him for things.
So in asking for things, I'm having to also learn how to do that because that is a shocking
process to learn how to be that honest and to quote unquote do what I have always feared
was setting myself up for disappointment.
And that's where the cost comes in that it's important that we don't approach the Lord
with a poverty mentality that, well, you know, God only intends to give me so much because
if He gives me too much, well, then I'm apparently I'm someone who can't be fully responsible
enough with it or I haven't, I don't know, I haven't, maybe I'm not mature enough to
be able to handle this or whatever.
There's all of these fears that kind of come up, but also just the idea that, so do not
count the cost as in, okay, well, God is only willing to give me so much.
He only has so much in the storehouse available for me, whether we think that it's based off
of God's will or based off of our ability to have been responsible with things up to
this point, whatever, we believe that there's a condition and having a poverty mentality
according to a condition is not a good approach from, it's not a good way for us to approach
the Lord with.
So there's that cost that we don't need to be counting, again, coming at it from a poverty
mentality.
But also, and this is very important, coming at it with counting the cost of our disappointment.
I don't know about for you, but for me, that's a really big deal.
And that's what I've always counted.
I've always counted the cost of God either being displeased with me because of what it
is that I asked that I didn't know was a quote unquote bad thing to ask, but apparently I
asked it and it was bad.
This is how I used to think, and it's not how it works, but that's how I used to think.
So either that I would incur God's displeasure, so there's my cost for asking, my cost for
trying to develop more intimate relationship with him by revealing to him what I thought
in being vulnerable with him of what I thought the desires of my heart were, but also the
cost of my disappointment if my God doesn't come through.
Oftentimes, we would rather avoid the situation than step into the situation and quote unquote
find out that what we feared actually is true, that God really doesn't protect and he actually
won't provide for me and I actually am alone.
We would rather not try so that there's always a glimmer of hope than try and feel that we
have proven that what it is that we really did fear actually was true.
And so that's another thing that God is teaching me how to not count the cost in, that I need
to try, that I need to, weird word to use, but I need to experiment.
You remember what he tells Laodicea, that he tells Laodicea, hey, look, I wish you were
hot or cold because then I'd know what to do with you, but if you're lukewarm, I can't
do anything with you but spew you out of my mouth.
In other words, indecisiveness, indecision, and not moving is like, I would rather you
sinned than to not do anything because I can't do something with nothing.
So because he's like, he's like, make a decision, you know, choose to engage with me.
And obviously none of us want to intentionally sin, but my point is that we're so afraid,
at least if you're like me, so afraid of sinning that we don't try, we don't try to get close
to our father because we're so afraid of doing something wrong, or at least historically
that's been the case and it does periodically still come up and we're still triggered by
it.
And it's those types of costs that God is teaching you to stop counting, to stop counting
in the cost of potential disappointment, potential of him not coming through.
In other words, he's always going to come through and he's always faithful, but the
way that I, in my lack of understanding, would view as him not coming through.
Anyway, so those are a couple of the really big things that God's been talking to me about
the past few days is not counting the cost and in enjoying where I am, as opposed to
thinking that I've got to buckle down and struggle through the fact that I'm being held
accountable for getting it right.
That God's whole purpose in this time is, is Ashley going to get it right?
And if you're not, okay, well, that's okay.
I'm going to have grace for you, but let's try to get it right next time.
So now let's go into a new test and you see that a new, a new struggle.
And so that this time you can get it right.
And I was like, Ashley, stop thinking about trying to get it right.
Enjoy it.
I'm loving on you.
And what you are learning is you are learning to allow yourself to be loved.
That is what you're learning.
And you are learning my character.
You're not learning how to get something right.
You were learning my character.
You were learning how to interact with me because I'm your husband, because you're in
relationship with me, not because I have a formula and a set of laws and rules that I
am teaching you to follow.
Totally different perspective, totally different shift.
And it sounds really easy.
As I always say, it sounds really easy sitting here, you know, all talking about it in theory,
but living all of that is really, really hard.
And so I just wanted to acknowledge that so that y'all know, you know, hopefully this
encourages you to take this before the Lord and interact with him and take these ideas
about enjoyment and not counting the cost before him and understand that if he's calling
you into stepping into these things yourself, when you struggle, understand that's normal.
So it's not, and I'm not meaning to make anything sound simple or blase because it really, truly
is a challenge.
So anyway, those are the two things that I have been processing and trying to step into
So does anyone have anything?
It has been a long time since I've jumped on here with so few questions, with like no
questions.
Let me rephrase, no questions.
Yeah, if y'all can think of something, because if not, I'm going to have to go back in notes
and look for something from a past client, from a client from this past week that I talked
to them about that maybe y'all would find important and I'm trying to think, so, well,
you could, I don't know, it came up again today that the Lord was talking to me about
asking him for justice in areas where we've been wronged and I don't know, just, it just
was the way that he brought it up.
I guess, I feel like that we've been taught so much to forgive the wrongs done to us that
we forget that we can ask God for the other side of that, which is justice, you know,
that whatever it's been, whatever's been taken from us or however we've been wronged, that
we can ask for him to restore that.
And so, yeah, I have somebody today and I was like, yeah, the Lord was just talking
to me about that.
If you have anything to say about that.
The, yes, so with the justice, I think that that's excellent point to bring up because
absolutely God calls us to declare justice and to bring justice.
The sad thing is that we have not understood how to, because of our struggle with our own
identity, we have not understood how to separate justice from condemnation.
And so, that's why we struggled declaring righteous judgment.
There's nothing wrong with declaring judgment and discerning this is how it's going to be
versus this is how it's not going to be because we declare it to be so.
But we have to shift into the father heart and look and act like our father in order
to do that.
And he does not come with condemnation, and he only comes with love.
But he is still a judge, and Jesus is still a judge, and it says that we will judge angels,
which I personally believe it means that we judge angels.
We possibly even to a certain measure, well, I don't know, and this may not necessarily
be true.
I was going to say we may even judge angels to a specific extent now if certain people
on the earth are to the maturity level that is required.
That may not be true.
We may not be in that phase yet.
But my point is, regardless of whether or not we can judge angels, I do know that there
are specific areas in which we can judge circumstances or whatever, but the Lord only gives us that
ability if we're doing it from the father's heart where we separate someone's identity
from their behavior, and not theoretically, but really, truly in the father's heart, and
we always approach everything from a place of love because God, as a judge, is a God
of love.
So he's a judge of love.
So yeah, I think that you're absolutely right, that we absolutely can ask for justice and
declare justice.
It's important for us to always separate someone's identity so that we're not blaming someone
else and condemning someone else, and that like, well, come against them, and may they
be cursed, and may they be, like it talks about in the Old Testament, that they were
cursing their enemies.
David was doing that, but that was in the Old Testament, that was under a totally different
covenant.
So yeah, justice is still important, and I'm calling on justice, and it's given to man
to declare justice from the father's heart, acting and looking like our father, otherwise
it's not righteous.
So yeah, from a place of rest, from the spirit, yeah.
So actually, speaking to me about the difference between judgment and justice, because when
we think about justice, we usually think of, like you said, judgment, someone's conviction.
But what he was talking about is like, because as Christians, we're taught to forgive people
who wrong us and release them and deal with them and let them go, but then we haven't
asked for justice for us.
It doesn't have anything to do with the offender.
It has to do with what was stolen from us through whatever the wrong was.
So going to him, just asking for justice for the things that have been taken from us, that
we've lost or have been robbed or stolen, or where we've been wronged, I mean, we've
lost time, we've lost relationships, we've lost possessions or opportunities or just
joy that we've lost, because of the wrongs done to us, it was like completely separate
from the maybe other people that were involved and maybe even things that even we, choices
we made that caused us loss.
And yet Jesus paid for all of that.
So I heard someone say that we pull on the forgiveness side of the cross and not the
blessing side enough.
So we're all about, we want to be forgiven, we want to forgive other people, and that's
already been done, per se, I mean, we still have to forgive those who wrong us.
But Jesus came to restore everything that was lost.
And so he was just speaking to me about, you know, I have all this to restore to you.
You just need to ask me, you know, for restoration, you know, that justice be restored in your
life in these areas that have suffered loss, for whatever reason, even my own bad choices.
Does that make sense?
Yeah.
So no, you're right.
And in requiring justice, that's an element of, I suppose that that would be the extension
of a judgment that's being made and a judgment that's being made, again, isn't condemnation,
which is what I was talking about, that has to be separated of like, declaring judgment
of, okay, look, this is, should not be, this should be, and therefore let's bring restoration,
which is what justice is.
Let's restore.
Yeah.
or let's bring reconciliation.
Yes, and so that is very important.
So yes, absolutely, we're bringing justice,
we're bringing justice.
And the problem is that in our society,
we've so twisted that
and knotted it with the fact that someone has to carry
a blame or a condemnation or whatever.
There has to be like some ickiness
that's felt by someone somewhere.
And so that's what I was just trying to separate
is just distinguishing that yes, justice is good,
there's nothing that is very good and godly thing.
And I was just mentioning that it's that we tend
that typically whenever justice is talked about,
there's always something that has to be condemned.
Yeah.
And that's what I'm talking about is that like,
well, as long as we understand that yes,
we absolutely can call in and we can exact justice,
but this is why.
Because otherwise, there's all these other verses like,
we'll judge not so that you'd be not judged
in the same way that you judged,
you know, you shall be judged, et cetera, et cetera.
So it can sound like we will be contradictory.
And it's not and what you're talking about
is not contradictory to scripture.
So yeah, absolutely.
We separated those two judgment and justice.
And I'd never thought about that because like you said,
I always connected justice to judgment.
And the way he put it to me is like,
you can have a judgment like, for example,
let's say someone murdered your husband or child,
and you could go to court and get a judgment on that person.
And it would not justify or bring back to order the loss.
The loss is still there.
That judgment doesn't do anything for me.
It's justice.
Jesus brings back justice or things in right order,
the way they should be like, yeah.
That's the way you should.
Yeah.
So like, I could even not have a judgment on someone
and still ask for justice in my life.
Like, no one has to be judged.
But this is, in that situation,
you know, I have a loss of a loved one.
The Lord can justify that in whatever way he chooses
without ever bringing condemnation on anybody.
Does that make sense?
Yeah.
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah.
And we have that right.
That's exactly what Jesus paid for
so that we could have restoration
of all the things that were lost in the fall.
And yet we seem to think
that it's just forgiveness of our sins,
but that our whole life be made back in right order
the way it should be.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Yeah, for bringing that up.
Yeah, that is very important distinction to make
that because it is our right
and our responsibility to exact.
And so he teaches us how to exact justice
and how to declare it.
Yeah.
So Linda, I think that you had a question.
Would, I know it's in the chat.
Would you be able to,
would you like to verbalize it yourself
or would you just like me to read the question?
Yeah, it just unmute.
I think if you unmute it'll work.
Let me know.
Oh, it's still not working.
Okay, I see.
Yeah, you're right.
Even when it's unmuted.
Oh, that's a bummer.
Okay.
All right.
So let me read your question.
Oops, sorry.
Trying to find the chat again.
Here we go.
Chat.
Yay.
Okay.
So Linda mentioned that,
let's see.
So she said her question is,
how do you rest when you have six businesses
and not enough staff?
By the way, Linda is super woman.
For those of you who have not met her,
she's phenomenal.
And I can attest to the amazing stuff
that the Lord does through her and her husband.
I'm not feeling very loved.
I'm feeling very overworked in the process.
I had a staff quit with no notice
in two out waiting on COVID tests.
I'm having a hard time finding the joy in all of this.
Yes.
So, first of all, I'm very sorry.
No fun.
And yes, we absolutely can find rest in all of this,
in these types of situations,
because it's actually,
we're so used to finding rest when everything goes right.
And God says that it's our right and our inheritance
to be in a place of rest,
regardless of what's going on,
in order to understand that we as the sons of God
are spirit and therefore over all of the circumstances
and they beat to our drum,
we don't beat to theirs.
So,
That being said, it's like the foundation of everything.
The way that we can, it's also important to understand
that everything it is that we have is the Lord's.
And he doesn't hold, he's not looking at us,
constantly trying to, holding us accountable for getting
all of this stuff done, as if we're separated from him
and he's looking on like a parent of like,
you better get it right.
So because then, again, that's operating more
of like from our belief.
If we're in a state of unrest, means
that we are perceiving it from the perspective
of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil,
where we believe we're out on our own, we're abandoned,
God's holding us accountable to something.
As opposed to understanding that no, we're in,
we're operating, we can operate according
to the tree of life, where we rest in abiding him.
And it's his character that sustains
everything in our life.
It's this character that sustains
how the businesses will go, that we'll
be able to get everything that we need done, done.
Or even if we don't get all of the things
done that we've decided in our own mind need to get done.
In other words, the standard that we're holding ourselves
to, if we stop holding ourselves to some arbitrary standard,
and we understand that he makes the standard,
and his standard is that we abide in him and rest,
not that we get all of these things done,
then we're living more according to the tree of life
where we're being sustained by his character.
So, I really wish that your microphone worked
so I could ask you some questions.
But if you're able to mention something
in the chat, just feel free.
I don't know how far you have,
how far have you gotten in the series and in the sessions?
The reason I ask that is then I'll know what to speak to.
Like, if you've gotten as far as all I have to do
is say something and then you remember,
oh yeah, that's what you were talking about.
Listen to if I say, okay, good.
Oh, six different 30 minute sessions.
Okay, all right.
So have you gone, I guess you've gone
through all of the how to release, how to receive,
how to believe, how to make decisions.
Have you listened to all of those, I guess?
Yes, okay, okay, good.
All right, so that gives me a good perspective.
Otherwise, I thought, okay, so let me back up
and explain what those are about
so we could be on the same page.
So, the thing is that when,
trying to figure out how to go from there,
oh my goodness, we all are still working on those.
We all are, oh my word.
And you've got some big ones that you're dealing with.
Receiving love is the first one
I have to listen to the most, I know.
I know, we all do, which is why I put that one first.
Because we ultimately don't believe that we're loved
to the degree that God says that we're loved.
And therefore, that's there, it creates a bit of,
it creates the alienation and the feeling
that we're not supported or sustained by him.
And the fact that we're abandoned by him
and we're out on our own trying to accomplish something
that he told us that we have to do.
I'm great, sorry, oh, this is working really well.
I'm a great servant, not quite as good as a son.
I know, we all are, especially me, especially me.
I didn't know I was a son until last year.
And even then, I'm sticking, I'm still growing into it.
Because I typically interact with him as a servant,
which is why God told me, had to tell me this week,
Ashley, enjoy, enjoy this.
But yes, so in, sorry, I want to make sure, oops,
I want to make sure that I stay on track specifically
with something you said.
I like that, really quick.
So, let's see now, okay.
So in order to actually shift into rest,
we have to let go that whatever of the idea
that whatever's going on shouldn't be.
That's a really big thing.
And they will all tell you
that they've heard this a hundred times.
Because everything about rest and shifting into rest
is extremely simple.
It is shockingly simple.
It's not easy, but it is very simple.
So it always comes back to some basic principles.
And that is the fact that we're in a state of resistance,
which of course you heard in all those sessions.
We're in a state of resistance.
resistance and we're having to actually let go of the thing, because we already are everything
that God, that we thought our whole lives we were attaining to.
We actually are all of those things.
We actually already know that God loves us.
We actually already have faith.
We believe our Father, et cetera.
We can rest in perfect peace.
The problem is that we don't believe that we are, so we're in this state of resistance
against our very nature.
All we have to do in order to be our nature, in order to be at rest and all that, is to
let go.
We actually don't have to attain to anything and we don't need to have to grab a hold of
anything new, including any new knowledge like, how does the Lord really love me and
how much does he love me and does he hold me accountable for making sure that this business
is successful?
What on earth am I supposed to do tomorrow with three staff members out without notice?
How can I accomplish all of these things?
How can we meet all of our obligations?
How do I take care of all of the special needs adults in my care, et cetera?
How do we make all these decisions?
Then you're getting ready, I think, for a new conference.
Oh my goodness, so busy.
Anyway, we have this list of all of these things that we know that we think that we
have to accomplish.
Well, the thing is that God's just like, hey, look, I have equipped you to be able to handle
all of this being sustained in me and by my character, not by something of your own source
that you have to drum up in order to provide it.
You already are the life source that it needs.
The problem is we think that we're not.
We think that we don't have everything that we need and we have to drum it up.
All we have to do is ... Going back to what I was talking about, because I don't want
to get confusing here and get a little bit off track, is the idea that we should let
go of this sense that whatever is going on shouldn't be.
They shouldn't have left, period, let alone without notice.
My staff, I shouldn't be down two more staff.
I shouldn't have all of this that's coming up with all of these additional problems.
I should feel loved.
I should feel this and I shouldn't feel that.
We have this sense that whatever's going on shouldn't be.
We have to release our ownership of that and we have to let that go.
It sounds really weird, but we're letting go of our ownership of it because as soon
as we let go of the idea that whatever's going on shouldn't be, then immediately we shift
into rest.
Immediately.
Then when we shift into rest, everything that we do is sustained from that place.
We can actually get more done from that place than we can when we're not in rest.
There are people in this group that can attest to that.
Yeah.
Sorry.
Yeah, Steph, if you wouldn't mind, I'm jumping in in just a second and actually telling her
that story.
I appreciate that because I think that that would be an encouragement to her.
Anyway, it's letting go.
It's not in doing something more.
It's in doing less.
You remember that conference that I was at with you in Missouri, that one, what was it,
like two, three weeks ago, that God actually, and I don't remember which one of the speakers
said this, but that God is constantly telling us to do less than what we're doing.
It doesn't mean activity less.
It means that everything that we're trying to drum up, God's trying to get us to stop
drumming up and that we can actually let go and we can actually relieve.
When we just tell ourselves, so what I do is in order to let something go, if I'm just
struggling and stressed because I'm like, this just shouldn't be, then I just tell my
soul and my spirit that I know is in fear, I just tell it, okay, stop.
Whatever it is you're doing, stop.
I act as the king over my spirit, as the king over my soul and my body, and I just tell
myself to stop.
Sometime without having to know what I'm telling it to stop doing, it knows what it's doing
that's causing all this stress and anxiety, and all I have to do is I just tell it, whatever
it is you're doing, stop.
And I noticed that usually it immediately goes away.
I don't know what it's releasing, but it's letting it go and it's stopping.
Sometimes, however, I can't get it to stop.
And I don't know why I'm still in too much fear and it's not listening to me.
So in cases like that, I immediately go to the next thing, which is I just
choose that whatever God says is true.
So if God says that I am sustained by his character, if God says that everything
that I do, my, all of my businesses, um, all of my staff, uh, everything that
has to get done, everything that I think that has to get done or whatever can be
sustained, um, the profitability, everything that is riding on and is
dependent on me or on certain things happening that God will sustain it.
It doesn't mean that if you have 30 things to do that, all 30 things,
all those 30 things will get done.
It means that whatever it is that you thought that those 30 things would
accomplish, God will make sure it gets accomplished, even if you
don't get all the 30 things done.
So you were, we're getting rid of that list from the tree of the
knowledge of good and evil.
We're getting rid of that list and we're just holding God responsible for the
outcome.
Once we realize that God says that he's responsible for the outcome, the burden
of all of our activities and all of the stress on us is immediately relieved
because we're no longer whole.
We realized that God is no longer holding us in our activities accountable
to get a particular result.
We're telling him no Lord, you tell me that you're responsible for the results.
So I'm going to hold you responsible for the result.
I mean, not holding responsible, like as in like mainly or antagonistically, but
just Lord, I'm going to agree with you that you're the one responsible for the
result.
And, uh, uh, so what are, is any of this, is any of this making sense?
Because if it's not making sense, I can come at it from a different angle.
Cause I felt like I just talked a lot from a lot of different angles as opposed
to one particular stream.
Okay.
All right.
Good.
Um, uh, Steph could, um, and then by the way, Linda, I am all Marco Polo as well.
I don't know if you are, but if you are, that is how a lot of people
communicate with me throughout the week.
You're more than welcome to Marco Polo me.
And then, um, uh, and then we can, um, we can talk about it or you can, um, uh,
schedule a private session in the group.
So.
Oh, to do the, to do the Marco Polo or to do the private session, the privates.
Oh, your kids put it on your phone.
Okay.
It's very easy.
And we just learned, she can tell you it's very easy.
So all you do is you just get in there.
You just make sure that I'm in your contacts.
Um, so I will message you via Facebook, um, my phone number, and then you
just either put my phone number in or my email address, one of those.
I'll make sure you have both.
And then you make sure to put me in your contacts in your phone.
Then you tell Marco Polo that you want to create a new, um, there's like a plus
sign or whatever in the upper right-hand corner saying that you want to start a
new chat and then you say, add from contacts and then you find me and then
it, and then it'll, um, anyway, so I'll, I'll probably let you do a little
write up or something for you.
Oh, I know what I can do.
If you're on Marco Polo, you, uh, you send me your phone number and email
address that's attached to Marco Polo.
And I will, I will Marco Polo you.
And then you'll have it.
And all you have to do is hit start, record your, record your video and then
press stop and I, and I'm notified.
So let's do it now.
So, um, but yeah, I got, I got Steph started on it.
Who else?
Alana and I talk on it all the time.
Um, uh, Renee and I haven't talked on Marco Polo, but we could, we could be
friends on Marco Polo, but Amy and I talk on Marco Polo too.
So it's very, very useful.
Um, and so Steph, could you, um, tell that story?
Would you mind?
Part of it was just, I can remember more of the details and at the same
time, I'm kind of glad I don't.
So I literally watched the replay of that video chat and I was kind of a
crazy woman when we logged on.
I was just like, are you in your car?
I'm like, I am in the truck.
I am hiding from my family.
I am in the truck.
It was one of those days when anything that I did, I had a complete meltdown.
I broke down and cried.
You know, she's gone.
So sorry.
I was not blind.
But that was the day that we were trying to catch up on school.
I think it was right before testing, maybe.
So we homeschool four kids, uh, well homeschool three of them legitimately.
And then the preschooler insists on joining in.
So we were trying to wrap that up.
And I remember sitting at the table going, I smell something and had the kids
convinced it was me.
I had myself convinced it was me.
And long story short, there was a mouse that had died under our house and there
was evidence that it had been in there for a little bit and it had friends.
So that was the final straw that whole day.
That was my breaking point.
So when I talked to Ashley from the truck, I was just, this is not how this is supposed to go.
This is nothing went the way it was supposed to go.
And that was the whole point was that it basically, I kind of gave all my
circumstances the power that, okay, they're attacking me instead of taking
things one thing at a time and just pushing through them.
So, and I don't even remember what all we said, what all we talked about.
I know my father-in-law went by on the tractor and just ran us up.
By the end, I'm like, Oh squirrel, just kind of calm down.
But yeah, I don't even know where all we went with that, but it was just the
whole fact that the straw that broke the camel's back, things just kept adding up.
And instead of kind of stepping back from it, I was focusing on everything, just
adding it to the list of things that were not going the way they should go.
And it was pretty easy to get distracted by doing that.
And I'm not saying that anybody else is doing that, but that's what I was doing.
Yeah.
Now that's a really good point to make, and I appreciate you bringing that up.
So yeah.
So for Steph, it was, it was very interesting.
She, um, she'd been in the, in the, uh, in the group for, for a while.
And then all of this sudden, that's what clicked with everyone.
It's something different.
And with her, that's what clicked.
It was, it was to let go of the idea that whatever's going on shouldn't
be, and to just let it go and to realize that, that to, to let go of the
ownership, that it should not be like this and it should be different.
So as soon as we let go of the ownership of it, all of a sudden it loses its
power because we're the thing that's giving it its power.
Um, so it was very, uh, it's very fascinating.
I've discovered the own power of it, the power of it in my own life.
Um, and because it's the things that the Lord began to teach.
So we immediately can shift interest.
Now, interestingly from that.
So we're not making a judgment about it.
Speaking about judgment, tying in the thing, the conversation
with Amy about judgment.
In letting something go, that of what shouldn't be, um, thinking that it
shouldn't be, we're not making a judgment that it should or shouldn't be.
We're not declaring that.
Oh, well, like say for instance, if your husband, I'm always using this example.
I don't know why, but you know, probably because it's just emotional for a woman.
You know, if the husband, you know, yells at you and leaves for work and, and, uh,
you know, we can, we can get into this mindset of like, well, this just shouldn't
be, he should not have yelled at me.
He said some horrible things.
I am completely in the right.
And he's completely in the wrong.
There is no doubt about it whatsoever.
And we have this idea that whatever's going on should not be well.
That, that what we're supposed to, what we have to do is we have to let go of the
ownership of the fact that it shouldn't be.
And as soon as we let go of the ownership, then we can shift into rest.
And when we shift into rest, we're shifting into our spirit because, you
know, like spirit, soul, and body, like what Chris always talks about.
So when we're shifting into the spirit, into our spirit, man, and from our spirit
man, we can make a righteous judgment about the decision about whatever's going
on and how to bring, um, and how justice needs to be declared in this situation.
And to be, can more righteously discern what should and shouldn't be going on.
And, um, how we're going to, how we're going to declare righteousness from
the father's heart into the world.
But we can't do it when we're down in our soul.
Um, because when we're, when we're in unrest, we're operating from the soul realm.
You know, how Chris always talks about the body realm, soul realm, spirit realm.
So when we're down into the soul realm, we can't make a righteous judgment.
Because we're not shifted into our identity, uh, recognizing, acknowledging
that we're spirit and that we are one with Christ and all of that.
We in the soul realm, we believe that we're abandoned and alone, and
we're operating according to the tree of the knowledge of an evil.
We can't make a righteous judgment.
That's why we're upset.
That's why we're in a spirit, uh, a, um, a state of unrest.
We believe we're in fear.
And, um, so what we're trying to do in the moment when we're shifting into
rest is not necessarily to make the situation better and to
accomplish a particular thing.
It's to, it's to shift.
It's to come into agreement with the fact that we, that we are a son of God.
That's what we're doing when we're shifting into rest.
Once we're shifted into rest to understand and agree with the fact
that we are who God says that we are now.
Okay.
As a son of God, how do I deal with this situation?
What are the.
decisions that I need to make about my businesses today.
How do I handle the fact that I have three people out?
How do I handle the fact that one of them
left very unprofessionally and leaves a great issue
and in their wake that I have to kind of figure out
how to manage.
We can do that from a place,
we can do that from a place of rest
and from the fact that we are acknowledging
the fact that we are the son of God.
So what we're trying to do in shifting into rest
is we're trying to get to that point.
So we forget about the event for the moment.
We forget about what it is that we have to do
and all these obligations and this weight
that we have to feel and we release ourselves
from the weight of it.
Release ourselves from the sense that
whatever's going on shouldn't be.
And as soon as we let go of that ownership,
shift into rest and then from that vantage point,
all of a sudden we now remember who it is that we are
and from that place, all of a sudden,
things can become more clear.
This is how I need it.
These are the decisions that I need to make.
This is what I need to do.
And sometimes we'll discover that it feels like
you've got more hours than you take
and that you're not, and we're not struggling as hard.
So anyway, hopefully that's helpful.
We can talk more over Marco Polo if that's not enough.
But anyway.
And I don't know if anybody else has done this,
but there are times I have to make that decision
over and over.
So like with my surgery, I sent Ashley a polo
maybe three days ago, I don't know what it was.
And it's like, I'm so over this.
I really thought I would bounce back.
The doctor's like, oh, it's no big deal.
And everybody's like, oh yeah, it's no big deal.
And I'm like, I'm two weeks out and I still feel like death.
What is wrong with me?
And then just yesterday I texted Dan at work,
like, I feel good.
And today we've been on the go all day.
So that's the only reason I still have makeup on.
I actually look presentable and dressed for once.
But I had to literally choose, okay,
I know this is not how you think it should be, just stop.
And I have to choose, every now and then
still have to choose rest.
And I think part of it, maybe it's just me,
but it's easy to kind of get distracted.
Yeah, no, we're in habit of,
because we've always been taught
that we should look for what shouldn't be and fix it.
So we're having, what we're doing is we're unlearning.
We're unlearning the world system that it has taught us.
And it taught us that, telling us that this was wisdom.
And we're having to unlearn it
and recognize and acknowledge that we're spirit instead.
So yeah, it's a habit, it's a habit.
So we do have to be very intentional about it
until it becomes a habit.
It is so much more habit for me now
to just shift into rest without me realizing what I'm doing.
But in areas that are very trying for me,
then that I still have those old habits that are in place
and I have to be very intentional about shifting into rest.
But then there are other areas in which it's a habit now.
There's a shift, or it's not even shift,
it's not a relief, anyway, which is really, really nice.
But yeah, I still have to do a whole lot of that.
Actually stop thinking that it shouldn't be this way,
let go of your ownership of it.
So anyway, let's see, what time is it?
Oh, wow, it is 9.07 my time and Linda's time.
And the rest of y'all, I know it's like 10.
So it was good to get to visit with everybody.
And Linda and Renee, I will reach out to y'all.
Renee, I have your phone number.
Linda, I don't think I have your phone number.
So if you will message me on Facebook
and let me know what your phone number is,
well, then I'll connect with you and Marco Polo.
Because there's one more thing that I thought of
that I thought you might be, oh, good.
Yes, that's right, oh, I forgot about that.
Yeah, you homeschooled all your boys, forgot about that.
I was homeschooled my whole life.
I have a heart for people who homeschool
because I think it's wonderful personally.
So I'll reach out to y'all.
And then there was one more thing.
Well, there's lots of things that we could talk about.
Linda, that'll help you with the rest.
But there was one more thing,
especially that I thought about that.
And are related to like spirit, soul and body
and talking to the spirit, soul and body.
And it's in the additional teaching section.
So you might find that helpful.
So, oh, that's right, Amy's homeschooled, yeah.
So many people.
So anyway, it was good to get to see everybody.
I will see y'all next week.
I don't know where I will be next week.
Maybe Georgia, we shall see.
Good to see y'all, love you.
One of you.