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Hey!

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Hey!

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How you doing?

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Good!

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Good!

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I actually got signed in on time.

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Yes!

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I hadn't gotten a chance to finish watching your Marco Polo, but I'm very excited for

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you.

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So I didn't get all the answers to my questions yet.

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I'm excited.

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Oh, okay.

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Yeah, I sent you back one.

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Yay!

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So I'll look forward to seeing it, watching it.

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So I know you're excited.

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Is everything good with you?

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Oh, I am.

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Yes, yes.

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Everything's good with me.

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I've been here for about a week, plan to leave sometime next week.

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I was thinking Sunday, but it's looking more like possibly Wednesday.

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We'll see.

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Anyways.

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Okay.

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So we're headed to North Carolina to a conference, and on the way I'm going to just see different

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people.

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I'm going to see, looks like I'm going to get to see Susan and meet her in person for

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the first time, and get to see Holly after 14 years, which just shouldn't be.

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That'll be fun.

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I know.

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I know.

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And I get to see a friend of mine, Julius.

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So Julius is the gentleman who did the first, he's a black pastor in Greensboro, North Carolina.

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Hey, Amy!

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Hey!

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And he's the one who did my first interview.

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So he had a Monday morning, not a podcast, but kind of like a, well, yeah, I mean, I

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guess it's a podcast.

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I always think of a podcast as in you can't see the person.

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But I mean, anyway, so, but it was on Facebook, and so I'm going to get to go up there and

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meet he and his wife in person.

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So that's exciting because he and I have gotten to be good friends, and he really pours into

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me, which I appreciate.

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Hey, Linda!

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So then I'm going to Asheville, and to a conference there, and get to meet up with some friends

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that I was with in Missouri when I was with Linda.

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We're going to all meet up again, or several of us are in Asheville.

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And then after that, I don't know, I'm either going to Ohio or Virginia, and I'm not sure

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which.

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In Virginia, I would be visiting with my cousins, and then possibly going out to Washington,

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D.C. to see my, one of my cousins, who is, I think he's the chief, I think he's the press

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secretary for a Republican senator from Washington State.

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And I haven't gotten to see him in a long time.

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And anyway, so I might go up and see him for a day, and then going to eventually, around

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mid-November, be back in Houston.

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So for at least a week, if not two.

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That's all I know so far.

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It could change tomorrow, but that's what I got.

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That'd be fun!

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I know, yeah, I'm looking forward to it.

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So I have these, like, these landmarks, you know, these places, these conferences that

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I have to, that I'm going to, that I'm scheduled for, and then I'm, and I'm planning everything

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else around, around those, so yeah, that'd be good.

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I'll be in, I'll be in West Virginia the 22nd through the 26th of this month.

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Really?

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West Virginia, or is it Western Virginia?

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No, West Virginia.

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Okay, what part?

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The state, West Virginia.

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Huntington.

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Okay, you'll be about three hours from me.

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Where are you?

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I'm outside of Parkersburg.

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That's only about two, a little over two hours, because my first husband was from Parkersburg.

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We used to do that trip a lot from Huntington to Parkersburg.

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Okay.

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It's not very far.

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We're actually going to fly into Cleveland and drive down, because we got really cheap

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tickets, so yeah.

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Okay.

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Interesting, but I'm going.

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Are you able to fly into Charleston?

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What's that?

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Would you be able to fly into Charleston?

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Would that be any, I don't know what that costs, though.

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Well, A, I don't want to fly into Charleston, because of that runway.

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It's a scary airport, you know.

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Yeah.

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But it's a lot, we just found, we got tickets $63 round trip to Cleveland, so we just couldn't.

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Yeah.

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Oh, my word.

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One ticket was that.

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They're paying you to fly.

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Yeah.

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Nobody wants to go to Cleveland.

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Because I looked at Columbus.

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Columbus was like $2.25, $2.45 a ticket.

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And Cleveland, which is two hours away, was $63.

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Yeah.

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So where are y'all going to?

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West Virginia?

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It's kind of a family reunion.

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Fun.

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Fun.

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So all four of y'all?

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Good.

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Well, that'll be fun.

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Good.

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I'm assuming that Jonathan's been on an airplane before.

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I know the other kids have.

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Oh, lots.

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Yeah, lots.

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Does he like it?

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He's OK with it now.

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It used to freak him out.

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Oh, sorry.

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Yeah.

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I like flying.

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I don't like falling.

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So I don't like roller coasters.

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But I like flying.

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So as long as there's intentionality

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in what it is I'm doing, I enjoy it.

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When it's just kind of like, hey, let's free fall.

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No, let's not.

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I don't like that feeling, that feeling that other people like.

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I don't like that feeling.

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I don't like my stomach and my throat.

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I just don't.

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So no ziplining?

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I would love to zipline.

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I would love to.

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Yes, that would be fun.

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Again, flying, not falling.

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True.

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Totally different.

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Very true.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Bungee jumping, not so much.

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Yeah, I bungee jumped from an 80-foot tower.

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That's so impressive.

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It was impressive.

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You know how I was scared to death?

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And it was a long story.

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My unbelieving, well, former Christian boss

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was there, this was many years ago.

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And I got to the top.

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I was like, I can't do it.

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I can't do it.

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He goes, Amy, you said that God gives you

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strength to do everything.

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So I had to do it.

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I know.

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I'm like, that's it.

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I went to God's heart and obligated.

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So it's like, you don't even experience it.

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You're like at the bottom before you realize that it's this fast.

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Yeah, oh, well, that's good.

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My dad loves skydiving.

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And I talked to his, I talked to the guy

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that he jumped with when he skydived.

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And this guy had, this guy was fascinating.

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So this guy was supposed to be in the Black Hawk Down mission.

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But he hurt his, he hurt his ankle or something like that.

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And it was just like right before he and his unit

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were supposed to fly out.

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And so he didn't go on it.

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Well, we'll come to find out if, I mean,

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or eventually it became like this iconic mission because

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of everything that happened.

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But he was supposed to be, he was supposed

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to be with all those guys.

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Anyway, I mean, he's got thousands of jumps to his name.

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I mean, thousands.

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Anyway, so he was telling me about the whole thing.

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I said, well, I don't like the feeling of falling.

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And he said, well, you don't feel like you're falling

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when you skydive.

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He said, because you're so high up at the time

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that when you fall, there's so much pressure that you feel,

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he said, you kind of feel like you're on the ground.

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He said, there's so much resistance that he said,

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you don't get that feeling of falling for a while

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until you start picking at speed

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and getting closer to the ground.

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And he said, and by the time that you would normally feel

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that feeling of falling, you, it's time to pull that,

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to pull the parachute.

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So I was like, oh, well, then who knows?

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Maybe one day I'll do it.

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I've got to work up my courage.

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Yeah.

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So does anyone, hey, Renee, how are you?

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Good to see you.

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Oh, sorry, you're on mute.

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Okay, sorry.

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I'm good, I'm good.

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Good to see you.

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Good to see you too.

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So you're perfect timing.

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We're just getting started.

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I always like to chat and catch up with everybody

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when they jump on.

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So does anyone have anything to start us out with?

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Any question or anything that you've been going through?

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While I try to think of something

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that I've talked to a client about at some point this week

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that I thought might be really significant

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to mention to everybody,

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or maybe what the Lord's talking to me about.

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Oh yeah, I do have something.

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But anyway, I always like to hold off on those

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for a lull in the conversation.

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Does anyone have anything that they thought

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that they wanted to bring up?

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Okay, do I need to get us started?

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Okay, so the thing that the Lord's been talking to me about

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is,

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And it's understanding when I'm moving into greater measures of rest and understanding

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how to release more and more, one of the things that we struggle with, you know, when he's

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calling us to have faith, when he's calling us to lean on him, when he's calling us to

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trust that what he says is true, and then what he says about us is true and all of that.

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And then we actually have to step out and act on it.

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We have to put something on the line, we have to put ourselves on the line.

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There's a death that's involved in the fact that we're having to release and let go of

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something that we've been wanting to hang on to.

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And that's obviously created all this resistance.

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So one of the things that I have been, that I was just struggling with is when the Lord

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was moving me into greater measures, and he was expanding my boundaries and like, Ashley,

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I need you to trust me, like in this new way or to this greater measure, I was finding

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myself always struggling and kind of like almost like always holding my breath.

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And I knew that that wasn't full faith and full trust and full leaning on him.

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But something that I didn't think about is he said that he has been impressing on me

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that the test, so to speak, that what it is that I'm going through is not for the purpose

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of passing a test.

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And it's not for the purpose of learning how to get it right.

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It's what God is wanting me to do in the process is to learn to enjoy it.

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And we've talked about this before when we've and I don't remember when I've touched on

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this, but the fact that we need to allow ourselves to be loved.

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So when we're in this relationship with the Lord, he is, we're lovers, right?

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And so he's wanting to love us according to his character in the way that he wants to

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love us.

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And we don't get to dictate to him how we want to be loved, because it's not, it's not

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very loving.

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And, you know, there's that whole idea of like, that we've talked about before about

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the five love languages, where that, that there's an element of the five languages that

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are obviously perfectly fine.

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There's nothing wrong with them.

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But what I think is very important for us to realize is, is that we don't need to get

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stuck in this idea that, well, this is my love language.

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And therefore everyone else needs to cater to how I receive love.

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It's just something that we can understand about ourselves and something that gets that

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helps us understand someone else.

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But what's important in a relationship with someone is that we allow them to love us the

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way that they choose to show love.

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They can, they can know what is, is, and that what, how we most readily receive love like,

261
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well, I must readily receive it, you know, when people give me quality time or when people,

262
00:13:08.140 --> 00:13:11.060
you know, give me gifts or whatever the thing may be.

263
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And so they can, they can try to speak our language, but it's very important that we

264
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allow ourselves to receive what someone else is giving us because a gift is all about the

265
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giver and not about the receiver.

266
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So it's all about the giver.

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Then the person giving is the one that needs to, that gets to dictate how, how they're,

268
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they are, they're loving us.

269
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It's our choice as to whether or not we receive it.

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Absolutely.

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But in our relationship with the Lord, which is different than people, because with people,

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sometimes they're, they can say that they're loving us, but we're just like, no, that's

273
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just because you, just because they say that they're loving us and just because they do

274
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something initiated by warm thoughts towards us does not make what they're doing actually

275
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a loving thing to do.

276
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But with the Lord, anything that he gives us and anything that he projects towards us

277
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is always not only from love because that's of his character, but it's always a loving

278
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thing to do.

279
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And so for, with him, we have to, it's important for us to understand that we are safe to be

280
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able to receive whatever he's giving us because we're not receiving it in the, with the same

281
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risk that we are with people where if we're not viewing things correctly, what they're

282
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saying they're giving us as love actually is us receiving some kind of abuse that is,

283
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has the name of love.

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With God, we don't have that risk.

285
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So my point is that he's teaching me in this process with him, when he's teaching me to

286
00:14:52.220 --> 00:14:59.980
trust him in various areas of my life, he's teaching me to actually, a little, to,

287
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to rest to the point that I enjoy it

288
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because I'm allowing myself to be loved.

289
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This is how he's choosing to love me at this time.

290
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He's allowing his circumstances to happen.

291
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I don't fully understand them.

292
00:15:11.760 --> 00:15:16.260
I don't see, I don't readily interpret

293
00:15:16.260 --> 00:15:21.260
what's happening as comforting or as joyful or whatever,

294
00:15:23.400 --> 00:15:26.760
but if the Lord is doing it and the Lord is in it,

295
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it means not only that it's a loving thing for him to do,

296
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it's not like this action.

297
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It's him actually pouring an essence of his character on me

298
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in an element of flow.

299
00:15:40.480 --> 00:15:42.000
And I get, in other words,

300
00:15:44.040 --> 00:15:47.240
it's a living, breathing thing is my point.

301
00:15:47.240 --> 00:15:49.280
It's not just this object that he gives us

302
00:15:49.280 --> 00:15:51.600
or this event that he allows to happen

303
00:15:51.600 --> 00:15:54.200
or this feeling that he allows us to feel.

304
00:15:54.200 --> 00:15:58.880
It's this living flow straight from his character

305
00:15:58.880 --> 00:16:02.520
through, in spirit, from his spirit into our spirit.

306
00:16:02.520 --> 00:16:07.360
And it's this living thing that I get an opportunity

307
00:16:07.360 --> 00:16:11.200
to honor by receiving joyfully

308
00:16:11.200 --> 00:16:15.000
and by enjoying where it is that I am

309
00:16:15.000 --> 00:16:18.920
as opposed to feeling that wherever it is I am

310
00:16:18.920 --> 00:16:21.560
that I'm supposed to trust the Lord in a newer measures

311
00:16:21.560 --> 00:16:22.720
I'm struggling with

312
00:16:22.720 --> 00:16:24.640
and I'm getting more and more anxious

313
00:16:24.640 --> 00:16:28.360
and I'm feeling the stress rise

314
00:16:28.360 --> 00:16:33.360
because that's not me allowing myself to be loved

315
00:16:34.240 --> 00:16:35.640
and allowing myself to be loved

316
00:16:35.640 --> 00:16:38.080
in the way that God chooses to love on me

317
00:16:38.080 --> 00:16:40.320
is a way in which I can honor him

318
00:16:40.320 --> 00:16:42.760
and is a way in which I can display my trust

319
00:16:42.760 --> 00:16:47.080
that even though I'm not seeing how this is,

320
00:16:47.080 --> 00:16:48.600
in other words, it's like,

321
00:16:48.600 --> 00:16:52.400
yeah, but God, this isn't speaking my love language.

322
00:16:53.160 --> 00:16:55.800
No, but I need you to receive from me

323
00:16:55.800 --> 00:16:59.040
the fact that I'm choosing to give you something

324
00:16:59.040 --> 00:17:01.160
and I'm choosing to give you my love.

325
00:17:01.160 --> 00:17:03.440
So I'm asking that you receive it as love.

326
00:17:04.520 --> 00:17:06.960
Anyway, it's a very, very new

327
00:17:07.960 --> 00:17:11.400
and very major shift in my perspective

328
00:17:13.319 --> 00:17:16.760
as opposed to taking all of these new struggles

329
00:17:16.760 --> 00:17:17.800
where it just feels like,

330
00:17:17.800 --> 00:17:20.160
oh my goodness, I can't believe

331
00:17:20.160 --> 00:17:22.280
I've got to trust him to this degree.

332
00:17:23.160 --> 00:17:24.640
Oh my goodness, he's gonna get me through.

333
00:17:24.640 --> 00:17:28.160
As opposed, instead of me just struggling through

334
00:17:28.160 --> 00:17:31.840
and faithing it in and trying to trust it

335
00:17:31.840 --> 00:17:34.880
and just trying to just kind of like hold my confession

336
00:17:34.880 --> 00:17:36.520
and just hold on,

337
00:17:36.520 --> 00:17:41.520
God's like, no, Ashley, relax and enjoy right now.

338
00:17:41.720 --> 00:17:45.600
Don't enjoy in anticipation of what's going to be

339
00:17:45.600 --> 00:17:47.480
if I come through for you.

340
00:17:48.440 --> 00:17:53.440
Don't hang your enjoyment on the future.

341
00:17:53.560 --> 00:17:56.000
Enjoy right now.

342
00:17:56.000 --> 00:17:57.520
Enjoy this moment

343
00:17:57.520 --> 00:18:00.760
because I'm not always planning for you later.

344
00:18:00.760 --> 00:18:03.480
I planned yesterday for right now.

345
00:18:03.480 --> 00:18:05.360
So enjoy the right now.

346
00:18:06.360 --> 00:18:10.240
So that's been very, very major shift for me

347
00:18:11.200 --> 00:18:13.200
because I have some areas of my life

348
00:18:13.200 --> 00:18:15.240
in which I'm feeling, even today,

349
00:18:15.680 --> 00:18:19.560
you know, things coming up into my throat

350
00:18:19.560 --> 00:18:20.400
and I have to remember,

351
00:18:20.400 --> 00:18:23.240
no, Ashley, God wants you to enjoy this.

352
00:18:23.240 --> 00:18:25.440
This is God loving you.

353
00:18:25.440 --> 00:18:27.320
Allow yourself to be loved.

354
00:18:27.320 --> 00:18:30.320
Allow yourself to just sit in love in the moment.

355
00:18:30.320 --> 00:18:32.480
So anyway, that's something

356
00:18:32.480 --> 00:18:34.680
that he's been talking to me about.

357
00:18:36.840 --> 00:18:38.480
So as I was talking,

358
00:18:41.000 --> 00:18:42.520
does anyone have any thoughts on that?

359
00:18:42.520 --> 00:18:44.880
Anything that the Lord has been talking to y'all about

360
00:18:45.520 --> 00:18:47.120
or any questions that you have related to that

361
00:18:47.120 --> 00:18:48.640
or completely unrelated?

362
00:18:49.760 --> 00:18:53.000
It just reminds me of a movie

363
00:18:55.280 --> 00:18:58.040
which, I don't know, helps me to remember things

364
00:18:58.040 --> 00:19:00.520
when I attach it to something like a movie.

365
00:19:00.520 --> 00:19:01.360
I don't know if,

366
00:19:01.360 --> 00:19:05.120
have you ever seen the movie Evan Almighty with Steve?

367
00:19:05.120 --> 00:19:07.080
No, but I've heard of it.

368
00:19:07.080 --> 00:19:12.080
Yeah, where it's kind of a take on the Noah story,

369
00:19:13.040 --> 00:19:14.120
but it's in modern time.

370
00:19:14.120 --> 00:19:14.960
Oh, yes.

371
00:19:14.960 --> 00:19:16.320
Okay.

372
00:19:16.320 --> 00:19:19.720
Well, it's funny because his wife leaves him

373
00:19:19.720 --> 00:19:22.960
and takes the kids because she thinks he's crazy

374
00:19:22.960 --> 00:19:25.760
and he's standing in the front yard

375
00:19:25.760 --> 00:19:29.840
and the, well, the sprinkler comes on and hits the window.

376
00:19:29.840 --> 00:19:32.360
So he thinks finally the rain is coming.

377
00:19:34.360 --> 00:19:35.680
So he runs outside.

378
00:19:35.680 --> 00:19:38.240
It's happening, it's happening.

379
00:19:38.240 --> 00:19:41.120
And his wife is walking away with the kids

380
00:19:41.320 --> 00:19:43.480
and gets in the car and he's standing there

381
00:19:43.480 --> 00:19:47.160
and the sprinkler system shifts to another area.

382
00:19:47.160 --> 00:19:48.640
So it hits him in the face.

383
00:19:48.640 --> 00:19:51.120
And he just stands there and he looks up to heaven

384
00:19:51.120 --> 00:19:53.880
and he says, I know everything you do

385
00:19:53.880 --> 00:19:55.600
is because you love me.

386
00:19:55.600 --> 00:19:57.400
Could you love me less?

387
00:19:57.400 --> 00:19:58.560
Could you love me less?

388
00:19:58.560 --> 00:19:59.720
Yeah, that's funny.

389
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:05.680
I know, it's hard, it's hard to receive whatever it is that God's giving is actually being

390
00:20:05.680 --> 00:20:06.680
loved.

391
00:20:06.680 --> 00:20:07.680
That's, yeah.

392
00:20:07.680 --> 00:20:10.160
But yeah, it's exactly like what you're saying.

393
00:20:10.160 --> 00:20:15.640
And I just, I just, it's amazing to me that some of those Hollywood movies have some very

394
00:20:15.640 --> 00:20:17.440
profound lines in them.

395
00:20:17.440 --> 00:20:19.680
That one has several, and that's one of them.

396
00:20:19.680 --> 00:20:20.680
So yeah.

397
00:20:20.680 --> 00:20:21.680
Yeah.

398
00:20:21.680 --> 00:20:27.360
Let me see.

399
00:20:27.360 --> 00:20:36.040
There is something else that the Lord had been talking to me about.

400
00:20:36.040 --> 00:20:42.760
And that is about not counting the cost beforehand.

401
00:20:42.760 --> 00:20:49.320
So when God is calling us into something and calling us to trust him in a particular way,

402
00:20:49.320 --> 00:20:53.320
it could be in finances, could be in a relationship, whatever.

403
00:20:53.320 --> 00:20:57.800
Whether we're in the middle of it or God is calling us to take action in order to step

404
00:20:57.800 --> 00:20:58.800
into it.

405
00:20:58.800 --> 00:21:07.440
So in other words, you know, Hey, I want to, I want to reveal to you, improve to you experientially

406
00:21:07.440 --> 00:21:12.600
that I am as this, that I'm loving goodness to this degree.

407
00:21:12.600 --> 00:21:17.820
And then so whether or not we're in it or God's calling us to step into it, it's one

408
00:21:17.820 --> 00:21:22.180
of the things that, that the Lord is talking to me about and I don't fully have fleshed

409
00:21:22.180 --> 00:21:30.140
out yet is because I'm learning to step out in it is to not count the cost.

410
00:21:30.140 --> 00:21:38.780
To not count the cost, not only of, of what would happen if he quote unquote didn't come

411
00:21:38.780 --> 00:21:40.220
through.

412
00:21:40.220 --> 00:21:44.860
So in other words, so God, God is always faithful, but the thing is that we all know that there

413
00:21:44.860 --> 00:21:49.820
are things that we've asked the Lord for or things that we, that the Lord promised

414
00:21:49.820 --> 00:21:55.100
that we thought came and went the moment and the dead, the deadline or whatever came and

415
00:21:55.100 --> 00:22:00.180
went and we're like, Lord, I just don't see that you came through.

416
00:22:00.180 --> 00:22:06.860
And so it's important on this side of it for us to not, when God calls me to step out into

417
00:22:06.860 --> 00:22:12.300
something and says, I want you to trust me in this, I want you to believe me for this.

418
00:22:12.300 --> 00:22:18.020
I'm giving you a promise that I want you to step in, to engage with me in and agree

419
00:22:18.020 --> 00:22:27.300
with me in and trust me for, um, but I, but he's telling me to not count the cost of what

420
00:22:27.300 --> 00:22:33.620
would happen and the repercussions that would happen because of my actions towards that

421
00:22:33.620 --> 00:22:34.620
thing.

422
00:22:34.620 --> 00:22:41.740
If the deadline comes and goes, or if, um, you know, or if whatever it is that he promised,

423
00:22:41.740 --> 00:22:45.700
you know, doesn't look like it was fulfilled in the way that I thought was so evident that

424
00:22:45.700 --> 00:22:46.700
God had promised.

425
00:22:46.700 --> 00:22:54.040
I mean, like, Lord, you said it point blank and such and such happened to the opposite.

426
00:22:54.040 --> 00:22:56.180
You know, what, what am I missing here?

427
00:22:56.180 --> 00:23:02.660
Um, and we don't see that there is any way for the promise to be fulfilled after a specific

428
00:23:02.660 --> 00:23:05.820
date, a specific time to specific event, whatever.

429
00:23:05.820 --> 00:23:12.740
So it's not only not counting the cost of what would happen in my life if I were to

430
00:23:12.740 --> 00:23:18.020
make those steps and he doesn't quote unquote come through, but also, and this is very important,

431
00:23:18.020 --> 00:23:23.700
especially when I'm asking for things that he hasn't come to me and promised me, I'm

432
00:23:23.700 --> 00:23:28.380
just learning how to, I'm learning how to ask you remember, I wish I could remember

433
00:23:29.380 --> 00:23:30.380
which, um, Oh, wait a minute.

434
00:23:30.380 --> 00:23:31.380
I have it here.

435
00:23:31.380 --> 00:23:37.020
It's like, um, in Matthew, Matthew seven, uh, seven, where it says, you know, asking

436
00:23:37.020 --> 00:23:38.020
it will be given to you.

437
00:23:38.020 --> 00:23:43.340
See, can you will find knock and door will be opened unto you for everyone who asks receives

438
00:23:43.340 --> 00:23:47.820
he who seeks spines and to him who knocks the door will be opened.

439
00:23:47.820 --> 00:23:50.820
Which of you, if his son asked for bread, we'll give him a stone, or if he asked for

440
00:23:50.820 --> 00:23:52.820
a fish, we'll give him a snake.

441
00:23:52.820 --> 00:23:56.340
If you then though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children.

442
00:23:56.340 --> 00:24:01.580
How much more would your father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him?

443
00:24:01.580 --> 00:24:06.620
Um, and God continues to take me back to that passage.

444
00:24:06.620 --> 00:24:10.380
I'll just open my Bible and boom, that's what he takes me to.

445
00:24:10.380 --> 00:24:13.740
And then the next night I just opened my Bible and boom, that's what he takes me to.

446
00:24:13.740 --> 00:24:14.980
I'm like, Oh my goodness.

447
00:24:14.980 --> 00:24:20.840
So he's just really driving at home right now to, to learn how to ask him.

448
00:24:20.840 --> 00:24:24.300
And that's something I'm having to actually learn.

449
00:24:24.300 --> 00:24:26.780
It's not something that I know how to do.

450
00:24:26.780 --> 00:24:34.260
I don't know how to ask him for things where I am not asking because I'm fearful, but I'm

451
00:24:34.260 --> 00:24:41.300
asking because it's a true desire of my heart where my heart has been unveiled from fear.

452
00:24:41.300 --> 00:24:44.580
So in other words, if my heart, imagine my heart, you know, is being veiled by fear.

453
00:24:44.580 --> 00:24:49.700
Well then anything that then the desires of my heart are coming through that veil of fear

454
00:24:49.900 --> 00:24:55.420
and then they look very different than they, they look like they're in constant self-protection,

455
00:24:55.420 --> 00:24:59.860
self-preservation mode, where if I take that veil of fear off, then I can discover what

456
00:24:59.860 --> 00:25:00.020
the truth is.

457
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:05.040
true desires of my heart are now that I know that God always protects and provides for

458
00:25:05.040 --> 00:25:07.920
me and I don't have to be afraid.

459
00:25:07.920 --> 00:25:12.480
So I'm having to learn how to ask from that vantage point.

460
00:25:12.480 --> 00:25:21.600
I'm having to learn how to shift out of being veiled by fear so that I can see the true

461
00:25:21.600 --> 00:25:27.960
desires of my heart and also sense the Father's heart and ask accordingly.

462
00:25:28.040 --> 00:25:33.080
According to that perspective of I'm aware of the desires of my heart and I can sense

463
00:25:33.080 --> 00:25:38.040
the desires of His and from that vantage point, I can ask Him for things.

464
00:25:38.040 --> 00:25:46.040
So in asking for things, I'm having to also learn how to do that because that is a shocking

465
00:25:46.040 --> 00:25:53.320
process to learn how to be that honest and to quote unquote do what I have always feared

466
00:25:53.320 --> 00:25:56.040
was setting myself up for disappointment.

467
00:25:56.040 --> 00:26:00.560
And that's where the cost comes in that it's important that we don't approach the Lord

468
00:26:00.560 --> 00:26:07.780
with a poverty mentality that, well, you know, God only intends to give me so much because

469
00:26:07.780 --> 00:26:14.520
if He gives me too much, well, then I'm apparently I'm someone who can't be fully responsible

470
00:26:14.520 --> 00:26:23.400
enough with it or I haven't, I don't know, I haven't, maybe I'm not mature enough to

471
00:26:23.400 --> 00:26:25.600
be able to handle this or whatever.

472
00:26:25.600 --> 00:26:33.600
There's all of these fears that kind of come up, but also just the idea that, so do not

473
00:26:33.600 --> 00:26:38.480
count the cost as in, okay, well, God is only willing to give me so much.

474
00:26:38.480 --> 00:26:44.480
He only has so much in the storehouse available for me, whether we think that it's based off

475
00:26:44.480 --> 00:26:50.080
of God's will or based off of our ability to have been responsible with things up to

476
00:26:50.080 --> 00:26:54.960
this point, whatever, we believe that there's a condition and having a poverty mentality

477
00:26:54.960 --> 00:27:04.000
according to a condition is not a good approach from, it's not a good way for us to approach

478
00:27:04.000 --> 00:27:05.320
the Lord with.

479
00:27:05.320 --> 00:27:10.440
So there's that cost that we don't need to be counting, again, coming at it from a poverty

480
00:27:10.440 --> 00:27:11.440
mentality.

481
00:27:11.440 --> 00:27:18.360
But also, and this is very important, coming at it with counting the cost of our disappointment.

482
00:27:18.360 --> 00:27:21.920
I don't know about for you, but for me, that's a really big deal.

483
00:27:21.920 --> 00:27:23.480
And that's what I've always counted.

484
00:27:23.480 --> 00:27:29.840
I've always counted the cost of God either being displeased with me because of what it

485
00:27:29.840 --> 00:27:34.120
is that I asked that I didn't know was a quote unquote bad thing to ask, but apparently I

486
00:27:34.120 --> 00:27:35.760
asked it and it was bad.

487
00:27:35.760 --> 00:27:40.200
This is how I used to think, and it's not how it works, but that's how I used to think.

488
00:27:40.960 --> 00:27:47.840
So either that I would incur God's displeasure, so there's my cost for asking, my cost for

489
00:27:47.840 --> 00:27:52.080
trying to develop more intimate relationship with him by revealing to him what I thought

490
00:27:52.080 --> 00:27:57.040
in being vulnerable with him of what I thought the desires of my heart were, but also the

491
00:27:57.040 --> 00:28:03.720
cost of my disappointment if my God doesn't come through.

492
00:28:04.520 --> 00:28:13.160
Oftentimes, we would rather avoid the situation than step into the situation and quote unquote

493
00:28:13.160 --> 00:28:21.680
find out that what we feared actually is true, that God really doesn't protect and he actually

494
00:28:21.680 --> 00:28:25.400
won't provide for me and I actually am alone.

495
00:28:25.400 --> 00:28:32.560
We would rather not try so that there's always a glimmer of hope than try and feel that we

496
00:28:32.560 --> 00:28:39.360
have proven that what it is that we really did fear actually was true.

497
00:28:39.360 --> 00:28:46.440
And so that's another thing that God is teaching me how to not count the cost in, that I need

498
00:28:46.440 --> 00:28:59.000
to try, that I need to, weird word to use, but I need to experiment.

499
00:28:59.000 --> 00:29:04.080
You remember what he tells Laodicea, that he tells Laodicea, hey, look, I wish you were

500
00:29:04.080 --> 00:29:10.920
hot or cold because then I'd know what to do with you, but if you're lukewarm, I can't

501
00:29:10.920 --> 00:29:13.080
do anything with you but spew you out of my mouth.

502
00:29:13.080 --> 00:29:22.200
In other words, indecisiveness, indecision, and not moving is like, I would rather you

503
00:29:22.200 --> 00:29:28.520
sinned than to not do anything because I can't do something with nothing.

504
00:29:28.520 --> 00:29:35.560
So because he's like, he's like, make a decision, you know, choose to engage with me.

505
00:29:35.560 --> 00:29:40.240
And obviously none of us want to intentionally sin, but my point is that we're so afraid,

506
00:29:40.240 --> 00:29:45.760
at least if you're like me, so afraid of sinning that we don't try, we don't try to get close

507
00:29:45.760 --> 00:29:49.560
to our father because we're so afraid of doing something wrong, or at least historically

508
00:29:49.720 --> 00:29:53.080
that's been the case and it does periodically still come up and we're still triggered by

509
00:29:53.080 --> 00:29:54.080
it.

510
00:29:54.080 --> 00:30:00.080
And it's those types of costs that God is teaching you to stop counting, to stop counting

511
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:05.800
in the cost of potential disappointment, potential of him not coming through.

512
00:30:05.800 --> 00:30:08.840
In other words, he's always going to come through and he's always faithful, but the

513
00:30:08.840 --> 00:30:17.120
way that I, in my lack of understanding, would view as him not coming through.

514
00:30:17.120 --> 00:30:23.400
Anyway, so those are a couple of the really big things that God's been talking to me about

515
00:30:23.400 --> 00:30:32.320
the past few days is not counting the cost and in enjoying where I am, as opposed to

516
00:30:32.320 --> 00:30:48.520
thinking that I've got to buckle down and struggle through the fact that I'm being held

517
00:30:48.520 --> 00:30:51.560
accountable for getting it right.

518
00:30:51.560 --> 00:30:56.000
That God's whole purpose in this time is, is Ashley going to get it right?

519
00:30:56.000 --> 00:30:58.240
And if you're not, okay, well, that's okay.

520
00:30:58.240 --> 00:31:01.440
I'm going to have grace for you, but let's try to get it right next time.

521
00:31:01.440 --> 00:31:06.680
So now let's go into a new test and you see that a new, a new struggle.

522
00:31:06.680 --> 00:31:08.400
And so that this time you can get it right.

523
00:31:08.400 --> 00:31:12.040
And I was like, Ashley, stop thinking about trying to get it right.

524
00:31:12.040 --> 00:31:13.040
Enjoy it.

525
00:31:13.040 --> 00:31:15.000
I'm loving on you.

526
00:31:15.000 --> 00:31:19.040
And what you are learning is you are learning to allow yourself to be loved.

527
00:31:19.040 --> 00:31:20.680
That is what you're learning.

528
00:31:20.800 --> 00:31:22.160
And you are learning my character.

529
00:31:22.160 --> 00:31:24.600
You're not learning how to get something right.

530
00:31:24.600 --> 00:31:26.200
You were learning my character.

531
00:31:26.200 --> 00:31:31.320
You were learning how to interact with me because I'm your husband, because you're in

532
00:31:31.320 --> 00:31:37.160
relationship with me, not because I have a formula and a set of laws and rules that I

533
00:31:37.160 --> 00:31:40.200
am teaching you to follow.

534
00:31:40.200 --> 00:31:43.200
Totally different perspective, totally different shift.

535
00:31:43.200 --> 00:31:44.960
And it sounds really easy.

536
00:31:44.960 --> 00:31:50.560
As I always say, it sounds really easy sitting here, you know, all talking about it in theory,

537
00:31:50.560 --> 00:31:54.200
but living all of that is really, really hard.

538
00:31:54.200 --> 00:31:59.960
And so I just wanted to acknowledge that so that y'all know, you know, hopefully this

539
00:31:59.960 --> 00:32:06.480
encourages you to take this before the Lord and interact with him and take these ideas

540
00:32:06.480 --> 00:32:11.480
about enjoyment and not counting the cost before him and understand that if he's calling

541
00:32:11.480 --> 00:32:21.960
you into stepping into these things yourself, when you struggle, understand that's normal.

542
00:32:21.960 --> 00:32:30.200
So it's not, and I'm not meaning to make anything sound simple or blase because it really, truly

543
00:32:30.200 --> 00:32:31.880
is a challenge.

544
00:32:31.880 --> 00:32:44.760
So anyway, those are the two things that I have been processing and trying to step into

545
00:32:44.760 --> 00:33:03.400
So does anyone have anything?

546
00:33:03.400 --> 00:33:07.160
It has been a long time since I've jumped on here with so few questions, with like no

547
00:33:07.160 --> 00:33:08.160
questions.

548
00:33:08.160 --> 00:33:09.160
Let me rephrase, no questions.

549
00:33:09.160 --> 00:33:19.920
Yeah, if y'all can think of something, because if not, I'm going to have to go back in notes

550
00:33:19.920 --> 00:33:25.760
and look for something from a past client, from a client from this past week that I talked

551
00:33:25.760 --> 00:33:41.540
to them about that maybe y'all would find important and I'm trying to think, so, well,

552
00:33:41.540 --> 00:33:47.680
you could, I don't know, it came up again today that the Lord was talking to me about

553
00:33:47.680 --> 00:33:55.560
asking him for justice in areas where we've been wronged and I don't know, just, it just

554
00:33:56.360 --> 00:33:57.360
was the way that he brought it up.

555
00:33:57.360 --> 00:34:03.200
I guess, I feel like that we've been taught so much to forgive the wrongs done to us that

556
00:34:03.200 --> 00:34:09.719
we forget that we can ask God for the other side of that, which is justice, you know,

557
00:34:09.719 --> 00:34:15.239
that whatever it's been, whatever's been taken from us or however we've been wronged, that

558
00:34:15.239 --> 00:34:18.400
we can ask for him to restore that.

559
00:34:18.400 --> 00:34:23.560
And so, yeah, I have somebody today and I was like, yeah, the Lord was just talking

560
00:34:23.560 --> 00:34:26.520
to me about that.

561
00:34:26.520 --> 00:34:31.520
If you have anything to say about that.

562
00:34:31.520 --> 00:34:39.400
The, yes, so with the justice, I think that that's excellent point to bring up because

563
00:34:39.400 --> 00:34:45.880
absolutely God calls us to declare justice and to bring justice.

564
00:34:45.880 --> 00:34:51.120
The sad thing is that we have not understood how to, because of our struggle with our own

565
00:34:51.120 --> 00:34:59.720
identity, we have not understood how to separate justice from condemnation.

566
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:07.360
And so, that's why we struggled declaring righteous judgment.

567
00:35:07.360 --> 00:35:14.880
There's nothing wrong with declaring judgment and discerning this is how it's going to be

568
00:35:14.880 --> 00:35:18.480
versus this is how it's not going to be because we declare it to be so.

569
00:35:18.480 --> 00:35:23.360
But we have to shift into the father heart and look and act like our father in order

570
00:35:23.360 --> 00:35:24.360
to do that.

571
00:35:24.360 --> 00:35:28.920
And he does not come with condemnation, and he only comes with love.

572
00:35:28.920 --> 00:35:34.680
But he is still a judge, and Jesus is still a judge, and it says that we will judge angels,

573
00:35:34.680 --> 00:35:38.280
which I personally believe it means that we judge angels.

574
00:35:38.280 --> 00:35:43.400
We possibly even to a certain measure, well, I don't know, and this may not necessarily

575
00:35:43.400 --> 00:35:44.400
be true.

576
00:35:44.400 --> 00:35:51.900
I was going to say we may even judge angels to a specific extent now if certain people

577
00:35:51.900 --> 00:35:55.600
on the earth are to the maturity level that is required.

578
00:35:55.600 --> 00:35:56.860
That may not be true.

579
00:35:56.860 --> 00:35:58.800
We may not be in that phase yet.

580
00:35:58.880 --> 00:36:03.160
But my point is, regardless of whether or not we can judge angels, I do know that there

581
00:36:03.160 --> 00:36:12.800
are specific areas in which we can judge circumstances or whatever, but the Lord only gives us that

582
00:36:12.800 --> 00:36:21.200
ability if we're doing it from the father's heart where we separate someone's identity

583
00:36:21.200 --> 00:36:26.920
from their behavior, and not theoretically, but really, truly in the father's heart, and

584
00:36:26.920 --> 00:36:31.200
we always approach everything from a place of love because God, as a judge, is a God

585
00:36:31.200 --> 00:36:32.200
of love.

586
00:36:32.200 --> 00:36:34.640
So he's a judge of love.

587
00:36:34.640 --> 00:36:38.720
So yeah, I think that you're absolutely right, that we absolutely can ask for justice and

588
00:36:38.720 --> 00:36:39.720
declare justice.

589
00:36:39.720 --> 00:36:46.760
It's important for us to always separate someone's identity so that we're not blaming someone

590
00:36:46.760 --> 00:36:53.320
else and condemning someone else, and that like, well, come against them, and may they

591
00:36:53.320 --> 00:36:57.400
be cursed, and may they be, like it talks about in the Old Testament, that they were

592
00:36:57.400 --> 00:36:58.400
cursing their enemies.

593
00:36:58.400 --> 00:37:02.880
David was doing that, but that was in the Old Testament, that was under a totally different

594
00:37:02.880 --> 00:37:03.880
covenant.

595
00:37:03.880 --> 00:37:11.440
So yeah, justice is still important, and I'm calling on justice, and it's given to man

596
00:37:11.440 --> 00:37:16.800
to declare justice from the father's heart, acting and looking like our father, otherwise

597
00:37:16.800 --> 00:37:17.800
it's not righteous.

598
00:37:17.800 --> 00:37:21.800
So yeah, from a place of rest, from the spirit, yeah.

599
00:37:21.800 --> 00:37:28.160
So actually, speaking to me about the difference between judgment and justice, because when

600
00:37:28.160 --> 00:37:34.240
we think about justice, we usually think of, like you said, judgment, someone's conviction.

601
00:37:34.240 --> 00:37:40.080
But what he was talking about is like, because as Christians, we're taught to forgive people

602
00:37:40.080 --> 00:37:45.720
who wrong us and release them and deal with them and let them go, but then we haven't

603
00:37:45.720 --> 00:37:48.160
asked for justice for us.

604
00:37:48.160 --> 00:37:50.720
It doesn't have anything to do with the offender.

605
00:37:50.720 --> 00:37:56.800
It has to do with what was stolen from us through whatever the wrong was.

606
00:37:56.800 --> 00:38:02.880
So going to him, just asking for justice for the things that have been taken from us, that

607
00:38:02.880 --> 00:38:07.480
we've lost or have been robbed or stolen, or where we've been wronged, I mean, we've

608
00:38:07.480 --> 00:38:15.760
lost time, we've lost relationships, we've lost possessions or opportunities or just

609
00:38:15.760 --> 00:38:25.760
joy that we've lost, because of the wrongs done to us, it was like completely separate

610
00:38:25.760 --> 00:38:32.960
from the maybe other people that were involved and maybe even things that even we, choices

611
00:38:32.960 --> 00:38:36.760
we made that caused us loss.

612
00:38:36.760 --> 00:38:39.800
And yet Jesus paid for all of that.

613
00:38:39.800 --> 00:38:52.020
So I heard someone say that we pull on the forgiveness side of the cross and not the

614
00:38:52.020 --> 00:38:54.800
blessing side enough.

615
00:38:54.800 --> 00:38:59.280
So we're all about, we want to be forgiven, we want to forgive other people, and that's

616
00:38:59.280 --> 00:39:04.880
already been done, per se, I mean, we still have to forgive those who wrong us.

617
00:39:04.880 --> 00:39:08.600
But Jesus came to restore everything that was lost.

618
00:39:08.600 --> 00:39:14.720
And so he was just speaking to me about, you know, I have all this to restore to you.

619
00:39:14.720 --> 00:39:22.280
You just need to ask me, you know, for restoration, you know, that justice be restored in your

620
00:39:22.280 --> 00:39:29.560
life in these areas that have suffered loss, for whatever reason, even my own bad choices.

621
00:39:29.560 --> 00:39:30.560
Does that make sense?

622
00:39:30.560 --> 00:39:31.560
Yeah.

623
00:39:31.560 --> 00:39:32.560
Yeah.

624
00:39:32.560 --> 00:39:33.560
So no, you're right.

625
00:39:33.560 --> 00:39:40.680
And in requiring justice, that's an element of, I suppose that that would be the extension

626
00:39:40.680 --> 00:39:44.960
of a judgment that's being made and a judgment that's being made, again, isn't condemnation,

627
00:39:44.960 --> 00:39:49.440
which is what I was talking about, that has to be separated of like, declaring judgment

628
00:39:49.440 --> 00:39:57.760
of, okay, look, this is, should not be, this should be, and therefore let's bring restoration,

629
00:39:57.760 --> 00:39:58.760
which is what justice is.

630
00:39:58.760 --> 00:39:59.760
Let's restore.

631
00:39:59.760 --> 00:40:00.760
Yeah.

632
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:01.920
or let's bring reconciliation.

633
00:40:00.760 --> 00:40:00.760


634
00:40:01.920 --> 00:40:04.040
Yes, and so that is very important.

635
00:40:04.040 --> 00:40:06.980
So yes, absolutely, we're bringing justice,

636
00:40:06.980 --> 00:40:08.500
we're bringing justice.

637
00:40:09.480 --> 00:40:12.480
And the problem is that in our society,

638
00:40:12.480 --> 00:40:15.200
we've so twisted that

639
00:40:17.840 --> 00:40:22.160
and knotted it with the fact that someone has to carry

640
00:40:22.160 --> 00:40:26.400
a blame or a condemnation or whatever.

641
00:40:26.400 --> 00:40:29.560
There has to be like some ickiness

642
00:40:29.560 --> 00:40:31.440
that's felt by someone somewhere.

643
00:40:31.440 --> 00:40:35.200
And so that's what I was just trying to separate

644
00:40:35.200 --> 00:40:39.240
is just distinguishing that yes, justice is good,

645
00:40:39.240 --> 00:40:43.200
there's nothing that is very good and godly thing.

646
00:40:43.200 --> 00:40:47.440
And I was just mentioning that it's that we tend

647
00:40:47.440 --> 00:40:50.200
that typically whenever justice is talked about,

648
00:40:50.200 --> 00:40:53.400
there's always something that has to be condemned.

649
00:40:53.400 --> 00:40:54.240
Yeah.

650
00:40:54.240 --> 00:40:55.880
And that's what I'm talking about is that like,

651
00:40:55.880 --> 00:40:58.080
well, as long as we understand that yes,

652
00:40:58.080 --> 00:41:02.120
we absolutely can call in and we can exact justice,

653
00:41:02.120 --> 00:41:03.520
but this is why.

654
00:41:03.520 --> 00:41:05.360
Because otherwise, there's all these other verses like,

655
00:41:05.360 --> 00:41:07.360
we'll judge not so that you'd be not judged

656
00:41:07.360 --> 00:41:08.560
in the same way that you judged,

657
00:41:08.560 --> 00:41:10.520
you know, you shall be judged, et cetera, et cetera.

658
00:41:10.520 --> 00:41:13.600
So it can sound like we will be contradictory.

659
00:41:13.600 --> 00:41:15.400
And it's not and what you're talking about

660
00:41:15.400 --> 00:41:17.600
is not contradictory to scripture.

661
00:41:17.600 --> 00:41:19.200
So yeah, absolutely.

662
00:41:19.200 --> 00:41:22.960
We separated those two judgment and justice.

663
00:41:22.960 --> 00:41:26.440
And I'd never thought about that because like you said,

664
00:41:26.440 --> 00:41:29.560
I always connected justice to judgment.

665
00:41:29.560 --> 00:41:31.960
And the way he put it to me is like,

666
00:41:31.960 --> 00:41:34.640
you can have a judgment like, for example,

667
00:41:34.640 --> 00:41:38.720
let's say someone murdered your husband or child,

668
00:41:38.720 --> 00:41:42.520
and you could go to court and get a judgment on that person.

669
00:41:42.520 --> 00:41:47.520
And it would not justify or bring back to order the loss.

670
00:41:50.040 --> 00:41:51.120
The loss is still there.

671
00:41:51.120 --> 00:41:54.200
That judgment doesn't do anything for me.

672
00:41:54.200 --> 00:41:55.440
It's justice.

673
00:41:55.440 --> 00:42:00.440
Jesus brings back justice or things in right order,

674
00:42:01.640 --> 00:42:03.760
the way they should be like, yeah.

675
00:42:03.760 --> 00:42:05.000
That's the way you should.

676
00:42:05.000 --> 00:42:05.840
Yeah.

677
00:42:05.840 --> 00:42:08.880
So like, I could even not have a judgment on someone

678
00:42:08.880 --> 00:42:11.960
and still ask for justice in my life.

679
00:42:11.960 --> 00:42:14.640
Like, no one has to be judged.

680
00:42:14.640 --> 00:42:17.840
But this is, in that situation,

681
00:42:17.840 --> 00:42:21.480
you know, I have a loss of a loved one.

682
00:42:21.480 --> 00:42:25.080
The Lord can justify that in whatever way he chooses

683
00:42:25.080 --> 00:42:27.600
without ever bringing condemnation on anybody.

684
00:42:27.600 --> 00:42:28.440
Does that make sense?

685
00:42:28.440 --> 00:42:29.600
Yeah.

686
00:42:29.600 --> 00:42:30.440
Yeah.

687
00:42:30.440 --> 00:42:31.280
Yeah, absolutely.

688
00:42:31.280 --> 00:42:32.120
Yeah.

689
00:42:32.120 --> 00:42:32.960
Yeah.

690
00:42:32.960 --> 00:42:34.040
And we have that right.

691
00:42:34.040 --> 00:42:35.840
That's exactly what Jesus paid for

692
00:42:35.840 --> 00:42:37.680
so that we could have restoration

693
00:42:37.680 --> 00:42:39.960
of all the things that were lost in the fall.

694
00:42:39.960 --> 00:42:41.720
And yet we seem to think

695
00:42:41.720 --> 00:42:43.480
that it's just forgiveness of our sins,

696
00:42:43.480 --> 00:42:47.920
but that our whole life be made back in right order

697
00:42:47.920 --> 00:42:50.160
the way it should be.

698
00:42:50.160 --> 00:42:51.000
Yeah.

699
00:42:51.000 --> 00:42:51.840
Exactly.

700
00:42:51.840 --> 00:42:52.680
Yeah.

701
00:42:52.680 --> 00:42:53.520
Thank you.

702
00:42:53.520 --> 00:42:54.360
Yeah, for bringing that up.

703
00:42:54.360 --> 00:42:56.280
Yeah, that is very important distinction to make

704
00:42:56.280 --> 00:42:57.520
that because it is our right

705
00:42:57.520 --> 00:43:02.400
and our responsibility to exact.

706
00:43:02.400 --> 00:43:04.560
And so he teaches us how to exact justice

707
00:43:04.560 --> 00:43:05.520
and how to declare it.

708
00:43:05.520 --> 00:43:06.360
Yeah.

709
00:43:08.040 --> 00:43:10.960
So Linda, I think that you had a question.

710
00:43:10.960 --> 00:43:13.440
Would, I know it's in the chat.

711
00:43:13.440 --> 00:43:14.920
Would you be able to,

712
00:43:14.920 --> 00:43:16.720
would you like to verbalize it yourself

713
00:43:16.720 --> 00:43:19.080
or would you just like me to read the question?

714
00:43:20.080 --> 00:43:22.160
Yeah, it just unmute.

715
00:43:22.160 --> 00:43:24.240
I think if you unmute it'll work.

716
00:43:24.240 --> 00:43:25.080
Let me know.

717
00:43:27.200 --> 00:43:28.160
Oh, it's still not working.

718
00:43:28.160 --> 00:43:29.200
Okay, I see.

719
00:43:29.200 --> 00:43:30.120
Yeah, you're right.

720
00:43:30.120 --> 00:43:31.360
Even when it's unmuted.

721
00:43:32.480 --> 00:43:33.520
Oh, that's a bummer.

722
00:43:33.520 --> 00:43:34.840
Okay.

723
00:43:34.840 --> 00:43:35.680
All right.

724
00:43:35.680 --> 00:43:37.000
So let me read your question.

725
00:43:37.000 --> 00:43:38.480
Oops, sorry.

726
00:43:41.080 --> 00:43:42.920
Trying to find the chat again.

727
00:43:42.920 --> 00:43:45.080
Here we go.

728
00:43:45.080 --> 00:43:45.960
Chat.

729
00:43:45.960 --> 00:43:46.800
Yay.

730
00:43:46.800 --> 00:43:47.640
Okay.

731
00:43:47.920 --> 00:43:50.280
So Linda mentioned that,

732
00:43:51.400 --> 00:43:52.360
let's see.

733
00:43:52.360 --> 00:43:53.880
So she said her question is,

734
00:43:53.880 --> 00:43:56.360
how do you rest when you have six businesses

735
00:43:56.360 --> 00:43:57.960
and not enough staff?

736
00:43:57.960 --> 00:43:59.760
By the way, Linda is super woman.

737
00:43:59.760 --> 00:44:01.000
For those of you who have not met her,

738
00:44:01.000 --> 00:44:02.040
she's phenomenal.

739
00:44:02.040 --> 00:44:04.320
And I can attest to the amazing stuff

740
00:44:04.320 --> 00:44:07.040
that the Lord does through her and her husband.

741
00:44:07.040 --> 00:44:08.640
I'm not feeling very loved.

742
00:44:08.640 --> 00:44:10.800
I'm feeling very overworked in the process.

743
00:44:10.800 --> 00:44:12.920
I had a staff quit with no notice

744
00:44:12.920 --> 00:44:15.960
in two out waiting on COVID tests.

745
00:44:15.960 --> 00:44:19.360
I'm having a hard time finding the joy in all of this.

746
00:44:19.360 --> 00:44:20.640
Yes.

747
00:44:20.640 --> 00:44:24.880
So, first of all, I'm very sorry.

748
00:44:24.880 --> 00:44:26.080
No fun.

749
00:44:26.080 --> 00:44:29.480
And yes, we absolutely can find rest in all of this,

750
00:44:30.720 --> 00:44:32.480
in these types of situations,

751
00:44:32.480 --> 00:44:35.080
because it's actually,

752
00:44:35.080 --> 00:44:40.000
we're so used to finding rest when everything goes right.

753
00:44:40.000 --> 00:44:42.200
And God says that it's our right and our inheritance

754
00:44:42.200 --> 00:44:43.960
to be in a place of rest,

755
00:44:43.960 --> 00:44:46.320
regardless of what's going on,

756
00:44:46.320 --> 00:44:48.880
in order to understand that we as the sons of God

757
00:44:48.880 --> 00:44:52.520
are spirit and therefore over all of the circumstances

758
00:44:52.520 --> 00:44:56.680
and they beat to our drum,

759
00:44:56.680 --> 00:44:58.120
we don't beat to theirs.

760
00:44:59.280 --> 00:45:00.120
So,

761
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:04.160
That being said, it's like the foundation of everything.

762
00:45:04.160 --> 00:45:08.560
The way that we can, it's also important to understand

763
00:45:08.560 --> 00:45:13.880
that everything it is that we have is the Lord's.

764
00:45:13.880 --> 00:45:19.400
And he doesn't hold, he's not looking at us,

765
00:45:19.400 --> 00:45:25.400
constantly trying to, holding us accountable for getting

766
00:45:25.400 --> 00:45:29.160
all of this stuff done, as if we're separated from him

767
00:45:29.160 --> 00:45:32.440
and he's looking on like a parent of like,

768
00:45:32.440 --> 00:45:33.880
you better get it right.

769
00:45:33.880 --> 00:45:35.960
So because then, again, that's operating more

770
00:45:35.960 --> 00:45:38.360
of like from our belief.

771
00:45:38.360 --> 00:45:40.360
If we're in a state of unrest, means

772
00:45:40.360 --> 00:45:42.720
that we are perceiving it from the perspective

773
00:45:42.720 --> 00:45:45.200
of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil,

774
00:45:45.200 --> 00:45:49.200
where we believe we're out on our own, we're abandoned,

775
00:45:49.200 --> 00:45:52.560
God's holding us accountable to something.

776
00:45:52.560 --> 00:45:56.200
As opposed to understanding that no, we're in,

777
00:45:56.200 --> 00:45:58.040
we're operating, we can operate according

778
00:45:58.040 --> 00:46:01.880
to the tree of life, where we rest in abiding him.

779
00:46:01.880 --> 00:46:04.080
And it's his character that sustains

780
00:46:04.080 --> 00:46:05.040
everything in our life.

781
00:46:05.040 --> 00:46:07.320
It's this character that sustains

782
00:46:07.320 --> 00:46:10.280
how the businesses will go, that we'll

783
00:46:10.280 --> 00:46:13.920
be able to get everything that we need done, done.

784
00:46:13.920 --> 00:46:16.040
Or even if we don't get all of the things

785
00:46:16.040 --> 00:46:19.520
done that we've decided in our own mind need to get done.

786
00:46:19.520 --> 00:46:21.760
In other words, the standard that we're holding ourselves

787
00:46:21.760 --> 00:46:25.760
to, if we stop holding ourselves to some arbitrary standard,

788
00:46:25.800 --> 00:46:28.080
and we understand that he makes the standard,

789
00:46:28.080 --> 00:46:30.800
and his standard is that we abide in him and rest,

790
00:46:30.800 --> 00:46:33.400
not that we get all of these things done,

791
00:46:33.400 --> 00:46:38.240
then we're living more according to the tree of life

792
00:46:38.240 --> 00:46:40.680
where we're being sustained by his character.

793
00:46:40.680 --> 00:46:45.680
So, I really wish that your microphone worked

794
00:46:45.760 --> 00:46:49.720
so I could ask you some questions.

795
00:46:49.720 --> 00:46:53.160
But if you're able to mention something

796
00:46:53.160 --> 00:46:54.640
in the chat, just feel free.

797
00:46:55.440 --> 00:46:57.440
I don't know how far you have,

798
00:46:57.440 --> 00:47:02.440
how far have you gotten in the series and in the sessions?

799
00:47:03.160 --> 00:47:07.520
The reason I ask that is then I'll know what to speak to.

800
00:47:07.520 --> 00:47:10.400
Like, if you've gotten as far as all I have to do

801
00:47:10.400 --> 00:47:11.920
is say something and then you remember,

802
00:47:11.920 --> 00:47:14.200
oh yeah, that's what you were talking about.

803
00:47:14.200 --> 00:47:15.800
Listen to if I say, okay, good.

804
00:47:15.800 --> 00:47:19.160
Oh, six different 30 minute sessions.

805
00:47:19.160 --> 00:47:20.720
Okay, all right.

806
00:47:21.600 --> 00:47:23.640
So have you gone, I guess you've gone

807
00:47:23.680 --> 00:47:26.880
through all of the how to release, how to receive,

808
00:47:26.880 --> 00:47:29.120
how to believe, how to make decisions.

809
00:47:29.120 --> 00:47:31.760
Have you listened to all of those, I guess?

810
00:47:32.960 --> 00:47:34.480
Yes, okay, okay, good.

811
00:47:34.480 --> 00:47:37.240
All right, so that gives me a good perspective.

812
00:47:37.240 --> 00:47:39.440
Otherwise, I thought, okay, so let me back up

813
00:47:39.440 --> 00:47:40.960
and explain what those are about

814
00:47:40.960 --> 00:47:43.120
so we could be on the same page.

815
00:47:44.440 --> 00:47:48.600
So, the thing is that when,

816
00:47:50.280 --> 00:47:51.760
trying to figure out how to go from there,

817
00:47:51.760 --> 00:47:56.760
oh my goodness, we all are still working on those.

818
00:47:57.280 --> 00:47:58.720
We all are, oh my word.

819
00:47:59.720 --> 00:48:03.760
And you've got some big ones that you're dealing with.

820
00:48:03.760 --> 00:48:06.000
Receiving love is the first one

821
00:48:06.000 --> 00:48:08.400
I have to listen to the most, I know.

822
00:48:08.400 --> 00:48:11.040
I know, we all do, which is why I put that one first.

823
00:48:12.080 --> 00:48:15.440
Because we ultimately don't believe that we're loved

824
00:48:15.440 --> 00:48:17.360
to the degree that God says that we're loved.

825
00:48:17.360 --> 00:48:21.400
And therefore, that's there, it creates a bit of,

826
00:48:23.560 --> 00:48:25.760
it creates the alienation and the feeling

827
00:48:25.760 --> 00:48:28.560
that we're not supported or sustained by him.

828
00:48:28.560 --> 00:48:31.120
And the fact that we're abandoned by him

829
00:48:31.120 --> 00:48:34.800
and we're out on our own trying to accomplish something

830
00:48:34.800 --> 00:48:37.120
that he told us that we have to do.

831
00:48:38.280 --> 00:48:41.280
I'm great, sorry, oh, this is working really well.

832
00:48:41.280 --> 00:48:43.720
I'm a great servant, not quite as good as a son.

833
00:48:43.720 --> 00:48:48.720
I know, we all are, especially me, especially me.

834
00:48:48.760 --> 00:48:51.160
I didn't know I was a son until last year.

835
00:48:51.160 --> 00:48:54.800
And even then, I'm sticking, I'm still growing into it.

836
00:48:54.800 --> 00:48:56.800
Because I typically interact with him as a servant,

837
00:48:56.800 --> 00:48:59.120
which is why God told me, had to tell me this week,

838
00:48:59.120 --> 00:49:01.400
Ashley, enjoy, enjoy this.

839
00:49:03.000 --> 00:49:07.600
But yes, so in, sorry, I want to make sure, oops,

840
00:49:07.600 --> 00:49:10.560
I want to make sure that I stay on track specifically

841
00:49:11.560 --> 00:49:13.680
with something you said.

842
00:49:13.680 --> 00:49:15.000
I like that, really quick.

843
00:49:17.240 --> 00:49:22.240
So, let's see now, okay.

844
00:49:23.680 --> 00:49:27.560
So in order to actually shift into rest,

845
00:49:27.560 --> 00:49:31.440
we have to let go that whatever of the idea

846
00:49:31.440 --> 00:49:34.840
that whatever's going on shouldn't be.

847
00:49:34.840 --> 00:49:36.600
That's a really big thing.

848
00:49:36.600 --> 00:49:38.120
And they will all tell you

849
00:49:38.120 --> 00:49:40.080
that they've heard this a hundred times.

850
00:49:40.840 --> 00:49:44.080
Because everything about rest and shifting into rest

851
00:49:44.080 --> 00:49:46.280
is extremely simple.

852
00:49:46.280 --> 00:49:48.080
It is shockingly simple.

853
00:49:48.080 --> 00:49:51.080
It's not easy, but it is very simple.

854
00:49:51.080 --> 00:49:54.280
So it always comes back to some basic principles.

855
00:49:54.280 --> 00:49:57.360
And that is the fact that we're in a state of resistance,

856
00:49:57.360 --> 00:49:59.400
which of course you heard in all those sessions.

857
00:49:59.400 --> 00:50:00.960
We're in a state of resistance.

858
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:07.560
resistance and we're having to actually let go of the thing, because we already are everything

859
00:50:07.560 --> 00:50:12.220
that God, that we thought our whole lives we were attaining to.

860
00:50:12.220 --> 00:50:15.260
We actually are all of those things.

861
00:50:15.260 --> 00:50:18.980
We actually already know that God loves us.

862
00:50:18.980 --> 00:50:21.180
We actually already have faith.

863
00:50:21.180 --> 00:50:23.320
We believe our Father, et cetera.

864
00:50:23.320 --> 00:50:25.680
We can rest in perfect peace.

865
00:50:25.680 --> 00:50:32.080
The problem is that we don't believe that we are, so we're in this state of resistance

866
00:50:32.080 --> 00:50:33.840
against our very nature.

867
00:50:33.840 --> 00:50:39.320
All we have to do in order to be our nature, in order to be at rest and all that, is to

868
00:50:39.320 --> 00:50:40.320
let go.

869
00:50:40.320 --> 00:50:44.080
We actually don't have to attain to anything and we don't need to have to grab a hold of

870
00:50:44.080 --> 00:50:49.840
anything new, including any new knowledge like, how does the Lord really love me and

871
00:50:49.840 --> 00:50:54.480
how much does he love me and does he hold me accountable for making sure that this business

872
00:50:54.480 --> 00:50:55.480
is successful?

873
00:50:55.480 --> 00:51:02.900
What on earth am I supposed to do tomorrow with three staff members out without notice?

874
00:51:02.900 --> 00:51:04.240
How can I accomplish all of these things?

875
00:51:04.240 --> 00:51:08.080
How can we meet all of our obligations?

876
00:51:08.080 --> 00:51:14.600
How do I take care of all of the special needs adults in my care, et cetera?

877
00:51:14.600 --> 00:51:15.600
How do we make all these decisions?

878
00:51:15.600 --> 00:51:18.800
Then you're getting ready, I think, for a new conference.

879
00:51:18.800 --> 00:51:24.400
Oh my goodness, so busy.

880
00:51:24.400 --> 00:51:30.640
Anyway, we have this list of all of these things that we know that we think that we

881
00:51:30.640 --> 00:51:31.640
have to accomplish.

882
00:51:31.640 --> 00:51:37.000
Well, the thing is that God's just like, hey, look, I have equipped you to be able to handle

883
00:51:37.000 --> 00:51:43.920
all of this being sustained in me and by my character, not by something of your own source

884
00:51:43.920 --> 00:51:48.560
that you have to drum up in order to provide it.

885
00:51:48.560 --> 00:51:51.960
You already are the life source that it needs.

886
00:51:51.960 --> 00:51:54.680
The problem is we think that we're not.

887
00:51:54.680 --> 00:52:00.560
We think that we don't have everything that we need and we have to drum it up.

888
00:52:00.560 --> 00:52:06.240
All we have to do is ... Going back to what I was talking about, because I don't want

889
00:52:06.240 --> 00:52:10.800
to get confusing here and get a little bit off track, is the idea that we should let

890
00:52:10.800 --> 00:52:17.240
go of this sense that whatever is going on shouldn't be.

891
00:52:17.800 --> 00:52:23.720
They shouldn't have left, period, let alone without notice.

892
00:52:23.720 --> 00:52:28.120
My staff, I shouldn't be down two more staff.

893
00:52:28.120 --> 00:52:34.160
I shouldn't have all of this that's coming up with all of these additional problems.

894
00:52:34.160 --> 00:52:35.800
I should feel loved.

895
00:52:35.800 --> 00:52:38.800
I should feel this and I shouldn't feel that.

896
00:52:38.800 --> 00:52:42.480
We have this sense that whatever's going on shouldn't be.

897
00:52:42.520 --> 00:52:47.920
We have to release our ownership of that and we have to let that go.

898
00:52:47.920 --> 00:52:54.800
It sounds really weird, but we're letting go of our ownership of it because as soon

899
00:52:54.800 --> 00:53:02.880
as we let go of the idea that whatever's going on shouldn't be, then immediately we shift

900
00:53:02.880 --> 00:53:03.880
into rest.

901
00:53:03.880 --> 00:53:04.880
Immediately.

902
00:53:04.880 --> 00:53:11.960
Then when we shift into rest, everything that we do is sustained from that place.

903
00:53:11.960 --> 00:53:19.880
We can actually get more done from that place than we can when we're not in rest.

904
00:53:19.880 --> 00:53:23.920
There are people in this group that can attest to that.

905
00:53:23.920 --> 00:53:24.920
Yeah.

906
00:53:24.920 --> 00:53:25.920
Sorry.

907
00:53:25.920 --> 00:53:37.480
Yeah, Steph, if you wouldn't mind, I'm jumping in in just a second and actually telling her

908
00:53:37.480 --> 00:53:38.480
that story.

909
00:53:38.480 --> 00:53:44.360
I appreciate that because I think that that would be an encouragement to her.

910
00:53:44.360 --> 00:53:47.680
Anyway, it's letting go.

911
00:53:47.680 --> 00:53:50.520
It's not in doing something more.

912
00:53:50.520 --> 00:53:51.560
It's in doing less.

913
00:53:51.560 --> 00:53:56.240
You remember that conference that I was at with you in Missouri, that one, what was it,

914
00:53:56.240 --> 00:54:01.240
like two, three weeks ago, that God actually, and I don't remember which one of the speakers

915
00:54:01.240 --> 00:54:06.680
said this, but that God is constantly telling us to do less than what we're doing.

916
00:54:06.680 --> 00:54:08.560
It doesn't mean activity less.

917
00:54:08.560 --> 00:54:12.920
It means that everything that we're trying to drum up, God's trying to get us to stop

918
00:54:12.920 --> 00:54:17.960
drumming up and that we can actually let go and we can actually relieve.

919
00:54:17.960 --> 00:54:23.440
When we just tell ourselves, so what I do is in order to let something go, if I'm just

920
00:54:23.440 --> 00:54:29.320
struggling and stressed because I'm like, this just shouldn't be, then I just tell my

921
00:54:29.320 --> 00:54:34.920
soul and my spirit that I know is in fear, I just tell it, okay, stop.

922
00:54:34.920 --> 00:54:37.640
Whatever it is you're doing, stop.

923
00:54:37.640 --> 00:54:42.280
I act as the king over my spirit, as the king over my soul and my body, and I just tell

924
00:54:42.280 --> 00:54:44.480
myself to stop.

925
00:54:44.480 --> 00:54:50.320
Sometime without having to know what I'm telling it to stop doing, it knows what it's doing

926
00:54:50.320 --> 00:54:54.240
that's causing all this stress and anxiety, and all I have to do is I just tell it, whatever

927
00:54:54.240 --> 00:54:56.160
it is you're doing, stop.

928
00:54:56.160 --> 00:54:59.400
And I noticed that usually it immediately goes away.

929
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:03.040
I don't know what it's releasing, but it's letting it go and it's stopping.

930
00:55:03.880 --> 00:55:07.160
Sometimes, however, I can't get it to stop.

931
00:55:07.360 --> 00:55:11.560
And I don't know why I'm still in too much fear and it's not listening to me.

932
00:55:12.000 --> 00:55:15.920
So in cases like that, I immediately go to the next thing, which is I just

933
00:55:15.920 --> 00:55:17.920
choose that whatever God says is true.

934
00:55:18.520 --> 00:55:23.140
So if God says that I am sustained by his character, if God says that everything

935
00:55:23.140 --> 00:55:28.520
that I do, my, all of my businesses, um, all of my staff, uh, everything that

936
00:55:28.520 --> 00:55:32.200
has to get done, everything that I think that has to get done or whatever can be

937
00:55:32.200 --> 00:55:36.440
sustained, um, the profitability, everything that is riding on and is

938
00:55:36.440 --> 00:55:42.840
dependent on me or on certain things happening that God will sustain it.

939
00:55:43.560 --> 00:55:49.280
It doesn't mean that if you have 30 things to do that, all 30 things,

940
00:55:49.680 --> 00:55:51.320
all those 30 things will get done.

941
00:55:51.600 --> 00:55:55.560
It means that whatever it is that you thought that those 30 things would

942
00:55:55.560 --> 00:56:00.080
accomplish, God will make sure it gets accomplished, even if you

943
00:56:00.080 --> 00:56:01.760
don't get all the 30 things done.

944
00:56:02.120 --> 00:56:06.880
So you were, we're getting rid of that list from the tree of the

945
00:56:06.880 --> 00:56:07.760
knowledge of good and evil.

946
00:56:07.760 --> 00:56:10.800
We're getting rid of that list and we're just holding God responsible for the

947
00:56:10.800 --> 00:56:11.240
outcome.

948
00:56:11.840 --> 00:56:16.720
Once we realize that God says that he's responsible for the outcome, the burden

949
00:56:16.880 --> 00:56:21.280
of all of our activities and all of the stress on us is immediately relieved

950
00:56:21.600 --> 00:56:23.360
because we're no longer whole.

951
00:56:23.400 --> 00:56:27.960
We realized that God is no longer holding us in our activities accountable

952
00:56:28.160 --> 00:56:29.360
to get a particular result.

953
00:56:29.880 --> 00:56:33.440
We're telling him no Lord, you tell me that you're responsible for the results.

954
00:56:33.440 --> 00:56:35.960
So I'm going to hold you responsible for the result.

955
00:56:36.240 --> 00:56:40.720
I mean, not holding responsible, like as in like mainly or antagonistically, but

956
00:56:40.720 --> 00:56:43.680
just Lord, I'm going to agree with you that you're the one responsible for the

957
00:56:43.680 --> 00:56:44.040
result.

958
00:56:45.040 --> 00:56:53.480
And, uh, uh, so what are, is any of this, is any of this making sense?

959
00:56:53.760 --> 00:56:57.520
Because if it's not making sense, I can come at it from a different angle.

960
00:56:57.600 --> 00:57:01.520
Cause I felt like I just talked a lot from a lot of different angles as opposed

961
00:57:01.520 --> 00:57:02.760
to one particular stream.

962
00:57:02.920 --> 00:57:03.320
Okay.

963
00:57:03.600 --> 00:57:03.920
All right.

964
00:57:03.920 --> 00:57:04.160
Good.

965
00:57:04.600 --> 00:57:04.840
Good.

966
00:57:05.560 --> 00:57:10.560
Um, uh, Steph could, um, and then by the way, Linda, I am all Marco Polo as well.

967
00:57:10.560 --> 00:57:13.360
I don't know if you are, but if you are, that is how a lot of people

968
00:57:13.360 --> 00:57:15.040
communicate with me throughout the week.

969
00:57:15.400 --> 00:57:16.960
You're more than welcome to Marco Polo me.

970
00:57:16.960 --> 00:57:24.120
And then, um, uh, and then we can, um, we can talk about it or you can, um, uh,

971
00:57:24.120 --> 00:57:26.120
schedule a private session in the group.

972
00:57:26.160 --> 00:57:26.480
So.

973
00:57:27.800 --> 00:57:32.600
Oh, to do the, to do the Marco Polo or to do the private session, the privates.

974
00:57:33.000 --> 00:57:34.280
Oh, your kids put it on your phone.

975
00:57:34.280 --> 00:57:34.520
Okay.

976
00:57:34.520 --> 00:57:35.560
It's very easy.

977
00:57:35.880 --> 00:57:38.360
And we just learned, she can tell you it's very easy.

978
00:57:39.520 --> 00:57:41.520
So all you do is you just get in there.

979
00:57:41.680 --> 00:57:43.680
You just make sure that I'm in your contacts.

980
00:57:44.280 --> 00:57:49.080
Um, so I will message you via Facebook, um, my phone number, and then you

981
00:57:49.080 --> 00:57:51.880
just either put my phone number in or my email address, one of those.

982
00:57:51.880 --> 00:57:52.960
I'll make sure you have both.

983
00:57:53.360 --> 00:57:56.600
And then you make sure to put me in your contacts in your phone.

984
00:57:57.080 --> 00:58:01.840
Then you tell Marco Polo that you want to create a new, um, there's like a plus

985
00:58:01.840 --> 00:58:04.800
sign or whatever in the upper right-hand corner saying that you want to start a

986
00:58:04.800 --> 00:58:09.960
new chat and then you say, add from contacts and then you find me and then

987
00:58:09.960 --> 00:58:13.720
it, and then it'll, um, anyway, so I'll, I'll probably let you do a little

988
00:58:13.720 --> 00:58:15.040
write up or something for you.

989
00:58:15.080 --> 00:58:16.680
Oh, I know what I can do.

990
00:58:16.840 --> 00:58:22.240
If you're on Marco Polo, you, uh, you send me your phone number and email

991
00:58:22.240 --> 00:58:24.200
address that's attached to Marco Polo.

992
00:58:24.560 --> 00:58:26.320
And I will, I will Marco Polo you.

993
00:58:26.680 --> 00:58:27.400
And then you'll have it.

994
00:58:27.440 --> 00:58:31.200
And all you have to do is hit start, record your, record your video and then

995
00:58:31.200 --> 00:58:33.040
press stop and I, and I'm notified.

996
00:58:33.320 --> 00:58:34.280
So let's do it now.

997
00:58:35.960 --> 00:58:39.600
So, um, but yeah, I got, I got Steph started on it.

998
00:58:39.600 --> 00:58:40.040
Who else?

999
00:58:40.080 --> 00:58:42.560
Alana and I talk on it all the time.

1000
00:58:42.600 --> 00:58:47.680
Um, uh, Renee and I haven't talked on Marco Polo, but we could, we could be

1001
00:58:47.680 --> 00:58:51.440
friends on Marco Polo, but Amy and I talk on Marco Polo too.

1002
00:58:51.560 --> 00:58:52.880
So it's very, very useful.

1003
00:58:54.200 --> 00:58:58.520
Um, and so Steph, could you, um, tell that story?

1004
00:58:58.640 --> 00:58:59.280
Would you mind?

1005
00:59:00.880 --> 00:59:03.600
Part of it was just, I can remember more of the details and at the same

1006
00:59:03.600 --> 00:59:04.800
time, I'm kind of glad I don't.

1007
00:59:05.560 --> 00:59:13.360
So I literally watched the replay of that video chat and I was kind of a

1008
00:59:13.360 --> 00:59:15.240
crazy woman when we logged on.

1009
00:59:15.240 --> 00:59:17.360
I was just like, are you in your car?

1010
00:59:17.360 --> 00:59:18.480
I'm like, I am in the truck.

1011
00:59:18.880 --> 00:59:20.200
I am hiding from my family.

1012
00:59:20.240 --> 00:59:21.320
I am in the truck.

1013
00:59:22.040 --> 00:59:28.520
It was one of those days when anything that I did, I had a complete meltdown.

1014
00:59:28.520 --> 00:59:29.560
I broke down and cried.

1015
00:59:29.600 --> 00:59:30.240
You know, she's gone.

1016
00:59:30.840 --> 00:59:31.600
So sorry.

1017
00:59:33.600 --> 00:59:34.560
I was not blind.

1018
00:59:35.080 --> 00:59:38.680
But that was the day that we were trying to catch up on school.

1019
00:59:38.680 --> 00:59:40.360
I think it was right before testing, maybe.

1020
00:59:41.160 --> 00:59:46.840
So we homeschool four kids, uh, well homeschool three of them legitimately.

1021
00:59:46.840 --> 00:59:49.120
And then the preschooler insists on joining in.

1022
00:59:49.920 --> 00:59:51.440
So we were trying to wrap that up.

1023
00:59:51.920 --> 00:59:59.080
And I remember sitting at the table going, I smell something and had the kids

1024
00:59:59.080 --> 01:00:00.040
convinced it was me.

1025
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:01.560
I had myself convinced it was me.

1026
01:00:02.200 --> 01:00:07.120
And long story short, there was a mouse that had died under our house and there

1027
01:00:07.120 --> 01:00:11.080
was evidence that it had been in there for a little bit and it had friends.

1028
01:00:12.040 --> 01:00:15.400
So that was the final straw that whole day.

1029
01:00:15.480 --> 01:00:16.840
That was my breaking point.

1030
01:00:17.560 --> 01:00:23.040
So when I talked to Ashley from the truck, I was just, this is not how this is supposed to go.

1031
01:00:23.040 --> 01:00:26.160
This is nothing went the way it was supposed to go.

1032
01:00:26.640 --> 01:00:30.720
And that was the whole point was that it basically, I kind of gave all my

1033
01:00:30.720 --> 01:00:36.320
circumstances the power that, okay, they're attacking me instead of taking

1034
01:00:36.320 --> 01:00:39.320
things one thing at a time and just pushing through them.

1035
01:00:40.120 --> 01:00:43.520
So, and I don't even remember what all we said, what all we talked about.

1036
01:00:43.520 --> 01:00:46.800
I know my father-in-law went by on the tractor and just ran us up.

1037
01:00:47.040 --> 01:00:50.080
By the end, I'm like, Oh squirrel, just kind of calm down.

1038
01:00:50.760 --> 01:00:55.160
But yeah, I don't even know where all we went with that, but it was just the

1039
01:00:55.160 --> 01:00:59.640
whole fact that the straw that broke the camel's back, things just kept adding up.

1040
01:01:00.160 --> 01:01:05.600
And instead of kind of stepping back from it, I was focusing on everything, just

1041
01:01:05.600 --> 01:01:08.800
adding it to the list of things that were not going the way they should go.

1042
01:01:09.680 --> 01:01:13.080
And it was pretty easy to get distracted by doing that.

1043
01:01:13.080 --> 01:01:17.240
And I'm not saying that anybody else is doing that, but that's what I was doing.

1044
01:01:18.240 --> 01:01:18.600
Yeah.

1045
01:01:19.040 --> 01:01:22.040
Now that's a really good point to make, and I appreciate you bringing that up.

1046
01:01:22.040 --> 01:01:22.920
So yeah.

1047
01:01:22.920 --> 01:01:25.080
So for Steph, it was, it was very interesting.

1048
01:01:25.080 --> 01:01:32.000
She, um, she'd been in the, in the, uh, in the group for, for a while.

1049
01:01:32.480 --> 01:01:36.280
And then all of this sudden, that's what clicked with everyone.

1050
01:01:36.320 --> 01:01:37.360
It's something different.

1051
01:01:37.400 --> 01:01:38.800
And with her, that's what clicked.

1052
01:01:38.840 --> 01:01:42.920
It was, it was to let go of the idea that whatever's going on shouldn't

1053
01:01:42.920 --> 01:01:48.800
be, and to just let it go and to realize that, that to, to let go of the

1054
01:01:48.800 --> 01:01:52.520
ownership, that it should not be like this and it should be different.

1055
01:01:52.840 --> 01:01:57.280
So as soon as we let go of the ownership of it, all of a sudden it loses its

1056
01:01:57.280 --> 01:01:59.720
power because we're the thing that's giving it its power.

1057
01:02:00.320 --> 01:02:03.240
Um, so it was very, uh, it's very fascinating.

1058
01:02:03.240 --> 01:02:06.400
I've discovered the own power of it, the power of it in my own life.

1059
01:02:06.800 --> 01:02:09.800
Um, and because it's the things that the Lord began to teach.

1060
01:02:09.800 --> 01:02:12.400
So we immediately can shift interest.

1061
01:02:12.640 --> 01:02:14.920
Now, interestingly from that.

1062
01:02:15.120 --> 01:02:17.040
So we're not making a judgment about it.

1063
01:02:17.040 --> 01:02:19.360
Speaking about judgment, tying in the thing, the conversation

1064
01:02:19.360 --> 01:02:20.360
with Amy about judgment.

1065
01:02:21.240 --> 01:02:27.360
In letting something go, that of what shouldn't be, um, thinking that it

1066
01:02:27.360 --> 01:02:30.800
shouldn't be, we're not making a judgment that it should or shouldn't be.

1067
01:02:31.600 --> 01:02:33.160
We're not declaring that.

1068
01:02:33.400 --> 01:02:36.920
Oh, well, like say for instance, if your husband, I'm always using this example.

1069
01:02:36.920 --> 01:02:40.120
I don't know why, but you know, probably because it's just emotional for a woman.

1070
01:02:40.120 --> 01:02:45.080
You know, if the husband, you know, yells at you and leaves for work and, and, uh,

1071
01:02:45.120 --> 01:02:49.200
you know, we can, we can get into this mindset of like, well, this just shouldn't

1072
01:02:49.200 --> 01:02:51.120
be, he should not have yelled at me.

1073
01:02:51.240 --> 01:02:52.840
He said some horrible things.

1074
01:02:53.120 --> 01:02:54.520
I am completely in the right.

1075
01:02:54.520 --> 01:02:55.960
And he's completely in the wrong.

1076
01:02:55.960 --> 01:02:58.680
There is no doubt about it whatsoever.

1077
01:02:59.120 --> 01:03:03.000
And we have this idea that whatever's going on should not be well.

1078
01:03:03.480 --> 01:03:07.000
That, that what we're supposed to, what we have to do is we have to let go of the

1079
01:03:07.080 --> 01:03:09.720
ownership of the fact that it shouldn't be.

1080
01:03:10.320 --> 01:03:16.200
And as soon as we let go of the ownership, then we can shift into rest.

1081
01:03:16.400 --> 01:03:19.000
And when we shift into rest, we're shifting into our spirit because, you

1082
01:03:19.000 --> 01:03:21.840
know, like spirit, soul, and body, like what Chris always talks about.

1083
01:03:22.400 --> 01:03:26.880
So when we're shifting into the spirit, into our spirit, man, and from our spirit

1084
01:03:26.880 --> 01:03:30.880
man, we can make a righteous judgment about the decision about whatever's going

1085
01:03:30.880 --> 01:03:36.960
on and how to bring, um, and how justice needs to be declared in this situation.

1086
01:03:37.360 --> 01:03:42.400
And to be, can more righteously discern what should and shouldn't be going on.

1087
01:03:42.760 --> 01:03:47.120
And, um, how we're going to, how we're going to declare righteousness from

1088
01:03:47.120 --> 01:03:49.440
the father's heart into the world.

1089
01:03:50.640 --> 01:03:54.240
But we can't do it when we're down in our soul.

1090
01:03:55.560 --> 01:04:00.200
Um, because when we're, when we're in unrest, we're operating from the soul realm.

1091
01:04:00.240 --> 01:04:02.960
You know, how Chris always talks about the body realm, soul realm, spirit realm.

1092
01:04:03.200 --> 01:04:06.800
So when we're down into the soul realm, we can't make a righteous judgment.

1093
01:04:07.240 --> 01:04:11.640
Because we're not shifted into our identity, uh, recognizing, acknowledging

1094
01:04:11.640 --> 01:04:14.760
that we're spirit and that we are one with Christ and all of that.

1095
01:04:14.960 --> 01:04:18.520
We in the soul realm, we believe that we're abandoned and alone, and

1096
01:04:18.520 --> 01:04:20.680
we're operating according to the tree of the knowledge of an evil.

1097
01:04:20.880 --> 01:04:22.560
We can't make a righteous judgment.

1098
01:04:22.880 --> 01:04:24.160
That's why we're upset.

1099
01:04:24.160 --> 01:04:27.880
That's why we're in a spirit, uh, a, um, a state of unrest.

1100
01:04:28.080 --> 01:04:29.480
We believe we're in fear.

1101
01:04:30.120 --> 01:04:34.960
And, um, so what we're trying to do in the moment when we're shifting into

1102
01:04:34.960 --> 01:04:38.920
rest is not necessarily to make the situation better and to

1103
01:04:38.920 --> 01:04:40.560
accomplish a particular thing.

1104
01:04:40.960 --> 01:04:43.000
It's to, it's to shift.

1105
01:04:43.120 --> 01:04:47.680
It's to come into agreement with the fact that we, that we are a son of God.

1106
01:04:48.160 --> 01:04:50.320
That's what we're doing when we're shifting into rest.

1107
01:04:50.600 --> 01:04:53.760
Once we're shifted into rest to understand and agree with the fact

1108
01:04:53.760 --> 01:04:56.160
that we are who God says that we are now.

1109
01:04:56.560 --> 01:04:57.080
Okay.

1110
01:04:57.240 --> 01:04:59.400
As a son of God, how do I deal with this situation?

1111
01:04:59.600 --> 01:04:59.960
What are the.

1112
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:03.020
decisions that I need to make about my businesses today.

1113
01:05:03.020 --> 01:05:05.220
How do I handle the fact that I have three people out?

1114
01:05:05.220 --> 01:05:06.940
How do I handle the fact that one of them

1115
01:05:06.940 --> 01:05:11.940
left very unprofessionally and leaves a great issue

1116
01:05:13.460 --> 01:05:16.500
and in their wake that I have to kind of figure out

1117
01:05:16.500 --> 01:05:18.100
how to manage.

1118
01:05:19.420 --> 01:05:23.220
We can do that from a place,

1119
01:05:23.220 --> 01:05:24.660
we can do that from a place of rest

1120
01:05:24.660 --> 01:05:26.940
and from the fact that we are acknowledging

1121
01:05:26.940 --> 01:05:30.460
the fact that we are the son of God.

1122
01:05:30.460 --> 01:05:32.980
So what we're trying to do in shifting into rest

1123
01:05:32.980 --> 01:05:34.940
is we're trying to get to that point.

1124
01:05:36.020 --> 01:05:39.280
So we forget about the event for the moment.

1125
01:05:39.280 --> 01:05:41.180
We forget about what it is that we have to do

1126
01:05:41.180 --> 01:05:42.680
and all these obligations and this weight

1127
01:05:42.680 --> 01:05:44.660
that we have to feel and we release ourselves

1128
01:05:44.660 --> 01:05:46.060
from the weight of it.

1129
01:05:46.060 --> 01:05:47.460
Release ourselves from the sense that

1130
01:05:47.460 --> 01:05:48.800
whatever's going on shouldn't be.

1131
01:05:48.800 --> 01:05:50.500
And as soon as we let go of that ownership,

1132
01:05:50.500 --> 01:05:52.880
shift into rest and then from that vantage point,

1133
01:05:52.880 --> 01:05:55.900
all of a sudden we now remember who it is that we are

1134
01:05:55.940 --> 01:05:58.100
and from that place, all of a sudden,

1135
01:05:58.100 --> 01:05:59.980
things can become more clear.

1136
01:05:59.980 --> 01:06:00.880
This is how I need it.

1137
01:06:00.880 --> 01:06:02.580
These are the decisions that I need to make.

1138
01:06:02.580 --> 01:06:04.020
This is what I need to do.

1139
01:06:04.020 --> 01:06:06.180
And sometimes we'll discover that it feels like

1140
01:06:06.180 --> 01:06:07.940
you've got more hours than you take

1141
01:06:07.940 --> 01:06:12.300
and that you're not, and we're not struggling as hard.

1142
01:06:12.300 --> 01:06:16.660
So anyway, hopefully that's helpful.

1143
01:06:16.660 --> 01:06:20.220
We can talk more over Marco Polo if that's not enough.

1144
01:06:21.400 --> 01:06:22.380
But anyway.

1145
01:06:23.340 --> 01:06:25.380
And I don't know if anybody else has done this,

1146
01:06:25.380 --> 01:06:29.160
but there are times I have to make that decision

1147
01:06:29.160 --> 01:06:30.700
over and over.

1148
01:06:30.700 --> 01:06:33.780
So like with my surgery, I sent Ashley a polo

1149
01:06:33.780 --> 01:06:35.820
maybe three days ago, I don't know what it was.

1150
01:06:35.820 --> 01:06:39.260
And it's like, I'm so over this.

1151
01:06:39.260 --> 01:06:41.940
I really thought I would bounce back.

1152
01:06:41.940 --> 01:06:43.820
The doctor's like, oh, it's no big deal.

1153
01:06:43.820 --> 01:06:45.580
And everybody's like, oh yeah, it's no big deal.

1154
01:06:45.580 --> 01:06:48.260
And I'm like, I'm two weeks out and I still feel like death.

1155
01:06:48.260 --> 01:06:49.540
What is wrong with me?

1156
01:06:49.540 --> 01:06:51.580
And then just yesterday I texted Dan at work,

1157
01:06:51.580 --> 01:06:53.260
like, I feel good.

1158
01:06:53.260 --> 01:06:56.460
And today we've been on the go all day.

1159
01:06:56.460 --> 01:06:59.900
So that's the only reason I still have makeup on.

1160
01:06:59.900 --> 01:07:03.380
I actually look presentable and dressed for once.

1161
01:07:03.380 --> 01:07:05.700
But I had to literally choose, okay,

1162
01:07:05.700 --> 01:07:10.080
I know this is not how you think it should be, just stop.

1163
01:07:10.080 --> 01:07:13.100
And I have to choose, every now and then

1164
01:07:13.100 --> 01:07:15.980
still have to choose rest.

1165
01:07:15.980 --> 01:07:17.620
And I think part of it, maybe it's just me,

1166
01:07:17.620 --> 01:07:20.740
but it's easy to kind of get distracted.

1167
01:07:21.780 --> 01:07:24.540
Yeah, no, we're in habit of,

1168
01:07:25.820 --> 01:07:27.580
because we've always been taught

1169
01:07:27.580 --> 01:07:31.140
that we should look for what shouldn't be and fix it.

1170
01:07:31.140 --> 01:07:33.780
So we're having, what we're doing is we're unlearning.

1171
01:07:33.780 --> 01:07:38.180
We're unlearning the world system that it has taught us.

1172
01:07:38.180 --> 01:07:41.940
And it taught us that, telling us that this was wisdom.

1173
01:07:41.940 --> 01:07:43.980
And we're having to unlearn it

1174
01:07:43.980 --> 01:07:47.380
and recognize and acknowledge that we're spirit instead.

1175
01:07:48.500 --> 01:07:50.300
So yeah, it's a habit, it's a habit.

1176
01:07:50.300 --> 01:07:52.740
So we do have to be very intentional about it

1177
01:07:52.740 --> 01:07:53.820
until it becomes a habit.

1178
01:07:53.820 --> 01:07:55.620
It is so much more habit for me now

1179
01:07:55.620 --> 01:07:58.620
to just shift into rest without me realizing what I'm doing.

1180
01:07:58.620 --> 01:08:01.440
But in areas that are very trying for me,

1181
01:08:02.900 --> 01:08:06.060
then that I still have those old habits that are in place

1182
01:08:06.060 --> 01:08:08.580
and I have to be very intentional about shifting into rest.

1183
01:08:08.580 --> 01:08:11.500
But then there are other areas in which it's a habit now.

1184
01:08:11.500 --> 01:08:13.860
There's a shift, or it's not even shift,

1185
01:08:13.860 --> 01:08:17.540
it's not a relief, anyway, which is really, really nice.

1186
01:08:17.540 --> 01:08:19.500
But yeah, I still have to do a whole lot of that.

1187
01:08:19.540 --> 01:08:22.620
Actually stop thinking that it shouldn't be this way,

1188
01:08:23.740 --> 01:08:25.140
let go of your ownership of it.

1189
01:08:25.140 --> 01:08:30.100
So anyway, let's see, what time is it?

1190
01:08:30.100 --> 01:08:35.100
Oh, wow, it is 9.07 my time and Linda's time.

1191
01:08:35.180 --> 01:08:37.640
And the rest of y'all, I know it's like 10.

1192
01:08:39.300 --> 01:08:42.220
So it was good to get to visit with everybody.

1193
01:08:42.220 --> 01:08:46.220
And Linda and Renee, I will reach out to y'all.

1194
01:08:46.220 --> 01:08:48.700
Renee, I have your phone number.

1195
01:08:48.700 --> 01:08:50.460
Linda, I don't think I have your phone number.

1196
01:08:50.460 --> 01:08:54.779
So if you will message me on Facebook

1197
01:08:54.779 --> 01:08:56.340
and let me know what your phone number is,

1198
01:08:56.340 --> 01:08:58.180
well, then I'll connect with you and Marco Polo.

1199
01:08:58.180 --> 01:09:00.260
Because there's one more thing that I thought of

1200
01:09:00.260 --> 01:09:03.540
that I thought you might be, oh, good.

1201
01:09:03.540 --> 01:09:05.899
Yes, that's right, oh, I forgot about that.

1202
01:09:05.899 --> 01:09:09.220
Yeah, you homeschooled all your boys, forgot about that.

1203
01:09:09.220 --> 01:09:10.540
I was homeschooled my whole life.

1204
01:09:10.540 --> 01:09:13.460
I have a heart for people who homeschool

1205
01:09:13.460 --> 01:09:15.740
because I think it's wonderful personally.

1206
01:09:16.700 --> 01:09:20.180
So I'll reach out to y'all.

1207
01:09:20.180 --> 01:09:22.020
And then there was one more thing.

1208
01:09:22.020 --> 01:09:24.979
Well, there's lots of things that we could talk about.

1209
01:09:24.979 --> 01:09:26.500
Linda, that'll help you with the rest.

1210
01:09:26.500 --> 01:09:27.420
But there was one more thing,

1211
01:09:27.420 --> 01:09:29.220
especially that I thought about that.

1212
01:09:30.580 --> 01:09:32.660
And are related to like spirit, soul and body

1213
01:09:32.660 --> 01:09:37.220
and talking to the spirit, soul and body.

1214
01:09:37.220 --> 01:09:39.819
And it's in the additional teaching section.

1215
01:09:39.819 --> 01:09:41.819
So you might find that helpful.

1216
01:09:41.819 --> 01:09:44.700
So, oh, that's right, Amy's homeschooled, yeah.

1217
01:09:44.700 --> 01:09:46.380
So many people.

1218
01:09:46.380 --> 01:09:49.340
So anyway, it was good to get to see everybody.

1219
01:09:49.340 --> 01:09:51.899
I will see y'all next week.

1220
01:09:51.899 --> 01:09:54.540
I don't know where I will be next week.

1221
01:09:54.540 --> 01:09:56.740
Maybe Georgia, we shall see.

1222
01:09:58.580 --> 01:09:59.980
Good to see y'all, love you.

1223
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:00.840
One of you.