Amy.
Hey, Amy.
Sit.
Here we go.
Hey, Amy.
Ah, there you guys are.
Hey.
How you doing, guys?
I can hear you.
Hi.
Hey, how y'all doing?
Good.
Jonathan said something about Ashley,
and I said she's going to be online in a minute.
You want to see her?
That's right.
Hey, Jonathan.
How is school?
Is it good?
Good.
They had to close this week because they had a volunteer come down with
COVID.
Oh, bummer.
Yeah.
So he's been home all week.
And then next week they're closed for Thanksgiving.
So they figured.
Yeah, they figured by then everybody will be clear though.
So I guess the timing was.
Good.
I know.
Yeah.
It was a surprise, you know, for me, of course.
Yeah.
What?
I'm not sure what you're saying.
I don't know.
I'm having a hard time hearing over the phone.
Yeah.
Who didn't come?
I have no idea.
No.
Yeah, I'm in my friend's car.
I'm in my friend's car.
I'm with my friends.
They're in the restaurant.
Jonathan.
You know who I'm with?
I'm with your friend, Chris.
I'm with Chris.
And Bartosz.
And my friend, Cheryl, and they're eating sushi.
So I left them in the restaurant to come out in the car for the call.
I'm with my friend, Chris.
I'm with my friend, Cheryl.
She's with Chris.
Yes, I am.
Okay.
You smile at me.
And then I'll take a picture and I'll show Chris when I get off the phone.
Are you ready?
I got it.
All right.
I'm with my friend, Chris.
They're eating sushi.
I told them to stop.
To say they're talking about me until I, until I left.
That's fine.
Well.
So what are you going to do after this?
I don't know.
It's my goal to make you laugh, Jonathan.
My goal.
My life.
Oh, you're silly.
He's a silly guy.
We've been having good times together.
Good.
What are you doing after this?
All the conferences are done or is there something else you guys are going to?
Let's see.
Well, currently, so my default is to go to Dallas.
But I don't know if my plans are going to change before then.
So, for instance, I was supposed to be in Dallas tonight.
I was supposed to be in Dallas last week.
But plans changed last minute.
And so we decided to stay another several days.
So, anyway.
So I don't really know.
I might be in Dallas next week.
I might be somewhere else.
So considering the fact that last night, my plans changed,
they could change again.
I don't know.
Is Chris going to be coming up to Dallas?
No, that's not the plan.
No.
I don't know.
I don't know anything.
I know.
I'm sorry.
I know.
Well, it doesn't look like anybody else is getting on here.
I don't.
Rochelle.
Rochelle keeps popping in and out.
So I don't know if it's because she's, she's like losing internet.
I don't know.
I might stay on for another several minutes.
Just to make sure some people pop on a little bit later.
But so how are y'all doing?
I hadn't gotten a chance to respond to your.
To your Marco polo.
And I.
Okay.
I'm going to talk about it on this recording, but I'll get back to you.
Okay.
Yeah. I don't remember the last thing I left on there.
To be honest.
It was yesterday morning.
As soon as she woke up.
You remember that?
Yes.
That was actually, I think it was this.
This morning.
I thought it was yesterday morning.
Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, I remember recording it,
but I don't remember the contents.
I don't carry things around.
In my head.
Yeah.
Some people do. I mean, there's some things that.
But when something, it'll come back up again.
I'll go, you know what? I need to get an answer to that.
And so.
It came up and.
I'm going to ask Ashley.
I think it's a good question.
For the group.
Which has been kind of coming up and puzzling me a little bit.
I think I know the answer, but I still think.
Good to expound on.
It's it's kind of like the balance between what is my responsibility?
Oops.
Can you still hear me?
Yes, I can.
Okay.
I was answering.
I was answering Rochelle.
She's trying to get into zoom. And so I was just responding to her.
So she's going to keep trying. Go ahead.
What is.
How do you.
What's the balance between.
Or how do you.
Coordinate or mesh the what is my responsibility and what is God?
And so.
I'm going to ask you about my oldest daughter.
And what she's.
Through.
And she said to me, I realized I was trying to fix this myself.
And I wasn't depending on God enough.
And so I get that.
You know, trying to fix things.
But then.
Sometimes likes when I've been praying for her and for her husband
and for her son, and I'm like, okay,
you know what we're supposed to do?
Our prayer life would be over. Right.
And so I guess just to expound on that. So.
How do you pray in situations like that? And what like,
because you can, I can fall back into, okay.
You know, like binding and loosing and sending angels and doing all
this myself or how do I, or do I just say, God, you know, uh, intervene, you
this stuff. And I'm like, okay. So am I just trying to.
know, intervene, you know, or is that just asking God to do something that
he's already done and given me the power to do, or how does all of that,
how do you sort all of that out?
Well, um, the important thing, there's nothing wrong with this, like doing
stuff because God intends for us to, because it's part of how we engage
with him and dance with them is in a dancing, in a dance, both partners
dance, one's not dragged by the other one or picked up and carried by the
other one or whatever, you need to dance together, but he leaves.
So in other words, it's like, uh, we believe that we believe his word.
We believe what it is that he's declared.
And then we can pray according to how it is that, according to our
level of faith at the time, like, okay.
You know, just in, in basically asking him, okay, Lord, how
do I engage with you in this?
Um, you know, I'm asking that, that I don't know what's in the way.
I don't know what the obstacles are in this situation.
You know, can you, um, can you be, uh, moving things, um, you know,
and then we can talk to the angels and ask them to move things.
We can, um, uh, we can, uh, then ask him, Lord, can you show
me what it is that I can do?
And we can kind of like, and then we can do things by what it is that we
declare in the spirit when we're praying.
So when we're playing like, well, God, I declare this, I declare, you
know, according to your word that this is, this is how, um, um, I
declare life over so-and-so I declare that, you know, um, all the obstacles
would be removed out of their way.
I declare that they are life giving.
I declare that, um, you know, I don't know, whatever, you know, so there's,
there's, that's a way in which we can.
We can, because he's bothering us into it.
He's not looking at us going, Hey, look, you're supposed to do
all of this by yourself and you should know it.
He's bothering us into it.
Well, well, how would we parent a child?
We parent a child by allowing them to come to us and ask us questions.
And then we show them how to do it, but we also support and
help them in how to do it.
So we're not going to stand there.
If they're trying to lift something, that's too heavy for them.
What we want to teach them how to lift it themselves and how to, how to, you
know, angle this awkward package as they're lifting it, so we're not going
to do it for themselves so that they're just simply watching because
they already know how it's done.
They've been watching us this whole time.
Now they're engaged in it and we're, we're wanting them to participate in it.
So eventually when their muscles are strong enough, they can do it on their
own, but we allow them to kind of help us do it.
So, so the same thing with the Lord.
It's not like he's standing there when we don't know what's going on
and we don't know how to do it.
Backing off is kind of like, okay, well, you're supposed to
have known by now how to do this.
So bind the thing or lose the thing or whatever he doesn't expect us to know
something he hasn't taught us yet.
So it can kind of be a combination where we can just think about how we parent
a child and understand God is viewing us in that situation like that.
And we just engage in the way that we know how and ask for help in the rest.
Okay.
As opposed to God, I want you to do this part and I'm going to leave the room.
No, no, no.
Well, I'm here, Lord.
How do I do this?
Can you help me do it?
How do I do this?
I think it's like this, so I'm going to try it.
Oh, that wasn't right.
Okay.
How do I else do I do it?
You know, it's, it's, um, that kind of a thing.
And he's more interested in the resolution of whatever it is
you're praying for than you are.
He's more, he's more interested in and passionate about people, um, uh,
people's lives being, um, you know, uh, uh, you know, that not, not just
resolved, that's not the word I'm looking for, but that, that things be,
that things be peaceful, that they walk in light, that they walk in truth,
that there'll be reconciliation or whatever the situation is that's going
on between that people are dealing with, you know, their work or their
business, you know, their, their personal lives or their children or whatever.
So he's more interested in it than we are, but he wants us to, he wants
to teach us how to engage with him.
So we can ask him while we're doing it.
Okay.
Yeah, that sounds good.
Yeah.
Do you part your hair on the left?
Hey, Steph and Irene, huh?
Do you part your hair on the left?
Um, what do I, yes, I do.
I had to think about that.
I don't know.
Where, how do I part my hair?
Yeah, on the left.
That's it.
My natural, uh, my natural part.
Yeah.
I, Steph was on here, but I don't see her anymore.
I don't know.
Yeah, she's on here.
Um, she's just on mute.
She and Irene are on mute.
Hey guys, Steph and Irene, how y'all doing?
Hey, I made it for a little bit.
I know.
That's amazing.
How is Aby?
Uh, she was doing better this morning and kind of tangled.
this evening. So she and Dan are talking. She's feeling pretty rough still. Yeah, I'm sorry.
I think the late night last night is getting us both. I know. I'm sorry.
She's tested positive for strep a week ago. And it just kept getting worse instead of better.
So we were at the ER last night getting some steroids and IV fluids,
and things like that. We got home about 2.15 and Dan got up for work at three.
It was a late night, an early morning when Emma and the dogs all woke up by eight o'clock.
Here, I just don't know how much I'll comprehend tonight.
Sorry. Well, you look great doing it. Whatever you do.
Yeah. Jonathan was saying the school is going really well. But there was a helper that tested
positive for COVID. So that and Thanksgiving has it shut down for a week. So two weeks at home.
Two weeks, this week and next week. Okay, I had it wrong. Okay. So I was like,
oh, well, that's handy. It happened on the same week. Good to know. So two weeks.
Hey, Irene, how you doing? Hi, I'm doing great. Can you hear me?
Yes, I can. Okay, because I got my earbuds on. I'm doing great. I'm sorry,
we're running a little bit late. I couldn't get the link to work. But I'm here.
Oh, sure. Yeah, no worries. Yeah, people. Yeah, people. And just people jump on there when they
can. So and then Rochelle keeps trying to jump on. But I think it keeps kicking her off. So she
keeps trying. So and I happen to be at work. So I took a break from work. I thought you see my mask
on my face like that. Yeah. So I actually, I'm struggling right now. I have made a decision. I'm
going to change churches. I've been at a church for 10 years. Wow, trying to figure out how to
move on. It's kind of I kind of look in a different place. There's some things I didn't
like that happened to the summertime things. I was just like, I just how everything's been handled.
I didn't like that. And I, I love my church. I like my pastor. I love my pastor's mother. I just
love the people but I just feel like I'm in a different place. And I found a church my son
who's going to college next day wants to go to and I every time he invited me to go to church,
I would always say, Oh, I'm so sorry, I can't take you because it happens. I have to look at
a sound booth because that's what I did. And then my husband was always ushering so I could never
take him to church. So now I'm going to churches and I'm so happy to see he's like being engaged
and he wants to go to church. And that's been a long time, long thing. Like we were going to church
we've been going to for 10 years. When my kids are younger, they want to go to youth group. Then it
got to a point where they weren't interested. It wasn't that interesting. And so it's been
really important for me to see them being engaged. And I thought just me not having like when with
COVID happening. And after that, like the church made a decision to have paid staff, which actually
probably works out better for them. If you're paying somebody that likely they're going to show
up. I never missed, never missed a Sunday. Like I knew I had to be there. But now like I'm not
tied down that way. And now people are starting to ask me, Hey, how are you? Because of course,
that's always a church and all of the aspects. And I don't know how to answer. I'm like, I want to,
I don't know, should I write to him? And I don't want to really get into like, why? I just feel
like I'm in a different place. And I'm just in like how some things have been handled, but I don't want
to like being going to that space because it seems kind of negative. But the same time, I feel like
I want to move on first and foremost to be there for my son. He says he doesn't want to go to church
like last Sunday. He was going to help us on the church. It's a relatively new church is about a
year old. My career counselor connected me with this church. She told me about her brother, her
son-in-law who's starting a church with his son-in-law with her daughter. So I've loved it.
When I took my son the first time, he really loved it. And I thought, I want to come back.
I felt so heartbroken. I felt so torn because I wanted to support him, but I have this commitment.
I do want to like meet people high and dry, but now this is the opportunity for me to be with him.
Like he wanted to like now go to church on Sunday. I said, either call the pastor or you go,
you don't have that choice. You can't be set to like call one hour before saying I'm going to show
up. So we did go, we did go to church. So I want to be there with him so that he's not finding a
son. He doesn't feel like getting out of bed. I don't feel like going, it's too cold. I'm like,
Hey, we've committed to it. You need to either call somebody the night before or show up.
So he chose to show up and I was really happy. So I'm feeling torn. I don't know how.
To say I'm moving on, I'm struggling with that because I feel like I'm really a loyal
person.
And so I feel like I'm almost like, you know, I'm just feeling very conflicted about and
I don't know how to do it.
But I need to do something because I mean, you start to be emailed by people like on
Facebook or, you know, somebody's messaging you and I'm like, I don't know what I don't
want to say because I don't want to give you say much about it, especially come and talk
to my pastor.
So I've been giving very vague responses and I feel like I'm being pushed to like say something.
So so what's your question specifically?
I'm not sure how to like, I haven't really talked with them, but I've just been in the
back of my mind is like, I need to like, say, I'm in a different season.
But I think my sense of loyalty, like I feel like I have such a strong sense of loyalty
and whenever I have to say goodbye, just like I avoid doing it.
And I know I need to do it, but I I need to do it because I hate to be people hanging
but at the same time, I feel torn because these people have been dear to me, but I need
to support my son.
But also there's some things I'm just like, you know what, I don't like how you guys handle.
I'm not going to get into with you guys.
It's like, you know, we're all led.
And it's sort of like, it's not for me to tell the pastor how to run his church, you
know?
So I'm still feeling really torn.
And I don't know how to like, say that I don't know what's like, I don't say this is a protocol,
but I also want to be sensitive to at least that people be in my life for 10 years.
I've seen a surprise in my husband, I have lost parents, he lost his mom, I lost my dad.
I've been very sad, but there were times like literally like there were times when you were
financial things were off and they have really like helped us sometimes like they have, it's
been a great ministry they have or what is it called, I'm forgetting what the name is.
But anyway, they have a ministry and they've just been so supportive because we don't have
family here.
Like my sister lives in the UK, my mom lives in Kenya.
So just having people you can talk to can be like surrogate parents, it's been really
helpful, especially for my kids, you know, my son.
So I'm really told well, and one of the things that you that I just wanted to mention to
give you encouragement is I also grew up where inconsistency was a sin.
So in other words, and I've had to learn that that's actually wrong.
It's not true.
And that what we have what we've termed as, as, you know, as what the standard that we've
set that well, consistency equals loyalty.
And this whole idea of consistency is godly and inconsistency is a sin, etc.
Well, that doesn't leave any room for change.
And all over the Bible, it talks about constantly, that we need to repent, meaning that we need
to change from one being in one season that God moved us into, into a new season that
God's wanting us to move into.
So consistency doesn't leave any room for that.
So my point is, that we can relieve ourselves of believing that there's this standard, that
it's actually the world that has that, that is set up this standard, because they needed
a way by which to measure themselves and others.
We did, you know, I'm not trying to villainize the world as if we're not part of it.
I mean, we, we helped create this system and, but it's not true in the eyes of God.
We're not being held to that in the eyes of God.
So we don't have to, we can relieve ourselves and relieve our own conscience of, of thinking
that we're being held, that God is holding us to a particular standard that he's not
to operate in a, to operate in, and to change in a, in a way that facilitates change is
somehow ungodly or something, and not of his character.
So anyway, I just wanted to mention that because what we're doing when we're changing is we're
becoming more like him.
That is what it is that we're wanting to do.
And God desires that.
So I just wanted to mention that.
And then the other thing is, as far as like talking to someone, it depends on the situation
and it depends on who you're talking to as to whether or not you're right, whether or
not it would even be what's the word, whether it would be edifying to mention real reasons.
So you can, well, sorry, real reasons.
You can mention real reasons.
All of the reasons that you give can be very real, but which reasons are, do you choose to pick?
to vocalize. So the fact that you want to support your son, the fact that you want to be going to
the same place because you believe that or you believe that God is calling you to a particular
place, that's where you're feeling your peace at. And it's very difficult for you to leave
where you are, and it's very difficult for you to not be going to the same church that
you have relationships with, with people you have relationships with, but that in your mind,
you're not leaving those relationships. You're just not going to the same building
with them every Sunday, you know, like we're getting things like that. All of those things
are true. I mean, unless of course you are leaving those relationships. I'm just, I'm making
a guess, you know, you know, and, and so you can always word every, you can mention all the,
all the right and accurate truth, truthful reasons, but you just pick which ones.
So the only reason why you would mention the other is for, well, two reasons why you would
mention the other is if God told you to, or if, if you were prompted by the Holy Spirit,
that it would be edifying because they'd actually receive it. In other words, that they're open to
it. But if these people aren't open to really knowing, and they're actually can sometimes be
in asking for questions of, well, why are you doing this? Why aren't it? They're looking for
a way to be offended. They're looking for a problem or they're looking to reconcile in their
mind. How, what it is you're doing is okay. In some way, shape, or form that can relieve them
from the fact that they're hurt or can relieve them from this feeling of, of, well, if you give
them a logical enough reason why they can separate your reason from why they should stay, then they
feel okay staying. But otherwise, when other people leave it, people can feel it threatened
by feeling abandoned or by somehow thinking they're doing something and they're, they're
leaving. And the reason that they're leaving therefore condemns me for staying. So they're
trying to figure out what's going on. And so anyway, my point is, if that's their reasoning,
then it's not edifying to actually explain any negative reasons why you might be leaving.
So you think about the fact that God desires us to love on each other. God desires us to edify
each other, to build each other up. And, and that doesn't always mean, in fact, it doesn't usually
mean to talk about the negative things. It's only extremely strong relationships and extremely strong,
healthy people that can handle that type of edification. So there's other ways that we can
love people to the Lord in a much more gentle way, because it's the only way that according to their
background, they can receive love. When we're edifying people out of love, but we're talking
about negative things, it's only people that have a very strong and secure. And I know that
background, you know, boundaries, whatever, that can actually hear the love that you're speaking in
when you say something that to most people would sound negative. Most people would hear it though,
in an orphan mentality, not in a sonship mentality. Does that make sense? So anyway, that's perfect.
Those are ways that you can just kind of think of it. There's nothing. When I've thought about
leaving churches, I've left, I've left a few. I've left at least one church and I thought
about leaving another church and I'm just begging the Lord to let me go. Lord, please, let me leave
this church. And he, for that particular church, he told me no. And because he told me, he said,
Ashley, he said, these people are hurting. They don't know what they're doing. And I want you to
be their assault because I'm revealing to you what's going on. And so you need to be an anchor
and help your, and help your friends through a time where they're very spiritually confused
and they're hurting. But that was very, very, uh, that, that, that, um, was hard for me because I
didn't want, because I wanted to leave because I did not feel the Lord anymore in that church.
And he was in that church. But what I mean is like his grace had moved on. He was like, no, no,
I want to move y'all on to, to deeper things. And they didn't want to leave. So that was my draw,
but God very specifically told me to stay. But then there was another church where I did leave.
And, um, that was a different type of situation though. So therefore I was able to just transition
out without having to address it with anyone. But, um, anyway, the church ended up closing
the last one I told you about, um, that God didn't let me leave. It ended up closing.
So I never had to leave. I left when everybody else did, but I did hear how they talked.
badly behind people's backs and everybody else who left before then, there was no, there
was no winning.
If people left without telling them they would talk badly about him and they'd say, well,
they should have said something.
And if they'd said something would been able to work it all out and, and, and leave amicably.
Well, no, then there were a whole bunch of other people that, that tried to do that and
tried to, you know, leave, you know, relationships intact and, and tell everybody to their face,
you know, Hey, I just want to let you know, we're, we're, we bless y'all for staying here,
but God's calling us elsewhere.
And we just wanted it.
We didn't want to just not be here one Sunday.
We wanted to tell you.
So they did exactly what all these people said that people should do if they wanted
to leave the church appropriately.
And all those people that stayed still talked about all of those people when they left and
said how they shouldn't have done it that way.
They should have done it.
You can't win.
The problem is everybody in and of themselves.
So just love people in the best way that we know how, according to the way that they're
going to receive information.
Are they, we're going to see love and how they're going to receive being loved.
So it's a very delicate situation that's hard, but that's the interesting thing though, is
I'd actually talked to some of the people and I say, Oh yeah, I'm so excited because
the time my son was just like not going to school.
Now he's serious.
It was like teaching his homework and wants to study to be an engineer.
So it's like, he's really on the ball.
So I really had said about how well he's doing and mentally, there was just some mental issues
like he was going through, but he's really doing well.
It's God's grace.
And I really wanted to take him, I remember saying to a few people, God, I mean, I figure
how to do this.
But so like when this happened, the church was shut down and I was not in a good leaders
conference and my husband's like, Oh, you know, I'm kind of done too.
He doesn't want to do it.
Asher was not big.
He has a door open for me to do what I wanted to do because I was feeling so torn.
I'm not in a place where I feel comfortable.
My son got his driver's license.
He turned 18.
I'm not comfortable him like driving off by himself to go to church.
No, we're going to be together until I feel really, really comfortable.
You can be on your own.
So that really is helpful for me for you to say that because actually that's what I was
leaning towards because it's truly actually one of the underlying things.
But having had the situation that kind of made it easy because I'm not actually physically
had a really difficult time having to go back, you know, having to stay there, but now it's
relatively easy.
Yeah.
So it's important to just go to just do where, what your, where your peace is at, you know,
between you and the Lord, like where does your, where does your soul settle down and
have peace, you know, between you and the Lord, you know, even without like a direct
word from the Lord, this is what you need to do, or this is what you need to do.
You know, if he's not, if you're not hearing that, then go where your peace is at.
Where did, where do you, where does everything within you kind of still and, you know, still
as in like, stop moving still and, and have peace.
So, and then, and then go with that.
So yeah.
Thank you.
And it's just for what you're doing right now.
Yeah.
Thank you so much.
It's a great, cause I've just been stalling and I, I just emailed this week.
I got an email.
I just thought, Oh God, I don't want to ignore somebody's email because that's not me.
Usually it's because I didn't check my email.
I'm not like, it's only stuck to my phone or my computer, but but I just feel like I'm
kind of, I don't know what it's, I don't want to say anything where like the pastor gets
away.
I just rather be like, I don't like people getting information on that through the backdoor.
I'd rather be like, Hey, just leave it at that.
Does my son need anything?
He can't be going off to college and not having, I want to see him having a strong foundation.
So another thing I just wanted to encourage you in is remember that you don't need to
defend your reason to people.
Just be solid and sure in what it is that you're doing between you and your relationship
with the Lord.
And any way that they respond is their responsibility, meaning that, and, and meaning that it, their
response has to do with them and not you and something that they're struggling with for
the way that they understand life, the way that they live life, the, the obligations
and standards that they hold themselves to.
And it doesn't mean that you're obligated to those things, same standards.
So even if they try to blame me for and push them onto you and all of that, just, you know,
just, just love them and just allow them to be who it is that they are and allow them
to process through that, even though it's going to be, even though for some people,
your choice might be difficult.
It doesn't have to do with you, meaning like it doesn't, it's not an indication that you've
done something wrong or that you've handled it wrong.
Just go wherever your peace is that know that that is what the Lord holds you to is to just
is you and your relationship.
with him and handling it as best as, you know, as you know how, so.
Thank you. Thank you so much.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Hey, Linda, how are you?
Are you out of quarantine?
I ended up having COVID last week.
Oh, no.
Oh, I'm sorry.
But it was, I really thought it was just a head cold, and I would have never, ever even taken
a test. But I was going home for Thanksgiving and I didn't want to risk taking anything to
my 80 year old parents.
Correct.
And so when they called me up to say you're positive, I was like, no, I'm not. I have
a head cold. I don't have COVID. So I never had a fever over 97.5.
I never had the cough. I never lost my sense of taste or lost my sense of smell.
All of my staff are totally livid because they were knocked out for two weeks. And I just
basically walked through it like it was no big deal.
Oh, I'm glad for you. But I'm sorry about all of that.
The diagnosis.
So I read Teresa of Avila. I went through and redid some of my pictures on my walls.
I mean, it's like I had to stay home. So I found things that I normally would not have
done and just was by myself. So it was a lot of good God time. A lot of good rest intensive
on purpose.
That's right. Very truly intensive.
Yes. Yes. On purpose intensive. The thing I realized I hate being alone.
Really?
So I am not a be by myself person. So now I have to figure out because all this stuff
that I read about Teresa Avila, I mean, it's all about contemplative prayer and meditation
and all this. I'm like, Oh, that's going to be a discipline all in itself.
Yeah. Yeah.
For me. Cause I'm a doer. I'm not a sitter.
Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's exciting. You're going to have to let me know how that goes.
Like what you learn different ways to be contemplative while still doing.
Well, it was.
Right. Right. That's what I'm saying. I was going to, that was going to be my question.
I was going to ask you, have you been able to combine the meditative being with God?
I'll answer in the way that I think that you're asking the question. So you can let me know if
you're like, no, no, no, I'm in it from a different direction. So that is what I believe that rest is.
So it's, it's different than like stopping and like, you know, where you do meditation,
you're like go into Theta waves. Now you can, you can be active sort of in Theta waves.
But the thing is, if you're not talking about like stopping and like shifting down in Theta
waves where you're just sitting, if you're just talking about, you know, being contemplative
with the Lord while you're not necessarily thinking, but you are in a place of rest.
Yeah. It's being in a place of rest all of the time. Like I'm in a place of rest right now. I
came on this, this call. I didn't have an agenda, obviously, you know, of anything I need to talk
about. I just let everybody ask their questions. I don't know what anyone's going to ask. And then,
okay, Lord, that's what they asked. What do I open my mouth and say, what does the spirit need to say?
And then I just answer. So in, from that aspect I'm doing while not, while not, while feeling
so-called contemplative. Now it's not cerebral contemplative, but it is just where I'm like
sitting in like chewing the cud, so to speak, where I'm like marinating an idea, but it's where
I'm still at rest and, and just, and just, just allowing myself to be in a situation instead of
trying to create, trying to get an agenda accomplished in a situation. So, but did that
answer your question or do you mean it a little more cerebrally as in like,
How do you contemplate on something while you're trying to actively do something?
Well, so for me at this point, I am trying to get to that point where you
know that you know that you know that you are intertwined with God and you're like in that
little rapture state that they talk about. And I know how to get there in worship.
So it's like that, but but they're talking about getting there in silence.
Okay, and I don't know how to how to get me so it's like
to be able to be doing things, but then in silence having that meditative.
I mean, so that you, you have that same sense of when you do when you really get in into worship.
Okay, so what does your worship experience, what is your worship experience like when you say,
well, I get into that and worship? Is it like you're thinking about nothing but the Lord or
you're just allowing yourself to be your what? You just have that tangible presence of God
sensation that almost feels like you could rapture out of your skin.
Oh, okay. Okay. Um, well, yes, I mean, that is possible in the fact that how do I describe that
you know that there's a way for us to be conscious of like, say, for instance,
Justin talks about this, you know, being conscious of where you are in the spirit
and where you are in the soul at the same time. So right now we're used to just being
conscious of where our soul is and what our soul is doing as a, and then we, and then we can become
conscious of what our spirit's doing and all of that. Cause our spirit, you know, is in,
it's in the spirit with the Lord. So there is a way for us to be able to eventually be,
eventually be able to do both as opposed to feeling like we have to leave one in order to
experience the other. But that's, that's something that I have not done to the, in the way that
you're talking about. I haven't. Um, so, but it is, I, I don't know fully, but generally speaking,
I think it's possible. If you're talking about it, like what you're talking about, almost like
this ecstasy idea of like, where you're just like, Oh my goodness, you can almost, you know,
just kind of come out of my skin. Um, I would imagine that it would be possible to do that and
still be active in the fact that your spirit, you can be aware of your spirit doing one thing while
your soul's doing something else, but I don't fully know. Um, I wanted to, does that make
sense? So I don't fully know, but I've told you what it is that I believe. Okay. And I haven't
done it myself because I'm not as aware of my spirit to that degree. I have to stop being as
conscious of my soul in order to be conscious of my spirit. Okay. So, cause, cause it is, I mean,
a lot of times it's nuns that, you know, and it's like, I know my life is not the life of a nun.
So I have way too many other things that I'm responsible for at this point,
but I know that God's got to have a way that Martha's and Mary's can still be
blessed with his presence at a tangible level.
Yes. Okay. So if you're talking about, if talking about it from that perspective,
I think that's what I was referring to about the, this soul and the spirit and being conscious of us
of both at the same time. So that, and I have done that to a certain measure. I, that I have,
but if you're talking about like, almost like this ecstasy, if you feel like you're almost
coming up out of the skin, I haven't done that, but, um, but I do believe that you can
experience both at the same time and be operating on the, in, on earth,
being active, but you're doing it from the, from a place of rest while you're also aware of the
fact that this, this other part of your thing that you're unified with spirit, soul, and body,
this other aspect of you is, um, you know, is focusing on the Lord and is very aware of being
unified with him. And it's from that union with him that like a rune talks about union with him,
talks about union with him, all else must flow. And then the soul is getting its instruction
and its current action sourced from the fact that the spirit is in the state that it's currently in.
Yeah.
Only you're aware of both.
Yeah.
And see, when I do the Arun kind of stuff, I feel like I'm hyperventilating.
So it's like, you can get that lightheaded feeling because you're breathing like you
do when you're having babies and going through labor stuff.
Yeah.
So it's like, okay, I understand the concept here, but I don't think it's God as much as
it is that I'm hyperventilating.
So...
Oh, yeah.
I know.
It's practice, experience, you know, of being able to be aware of the different aspects
of ourselves, being aware of our soul, our body, and our spirit all at the same time.
And we can get into our body and we can get out of our body into our soul, you know, into
our mind.
And we've practiced that.
A lot of people struggle getting out of their body.
And by getting out of the body, I don't mean like leaving it.
I mean, the consciousness shifting from being so focused on the body to being focused in
the cerebral.
And then we can now need to become aware of being focused on who it is that we are in
the spirit and what our spirit's doing and all of that.
So that eventually we can be aware of all three at once, get them into alignment and
so that they're always in coordination.
But anyway, so I think that it's possible.
There's an element of what you're talking about that I'm not quite sure how it works
as far as, as far as like, Oh, how would you describe it where, uh, there's an element
in which there's an aspect in which we do, we can do multiple things at one time.
And then there's this other aspect in which you, you do this or you do this.
And, and that's what I'm wondering is if that's what you're talking about, because again,
it's just not an area that I've explored.
And so I don't know.
So, well, do you remember Nancy's testimony when she said she had all this work that she
had to do and she just wanted to spend time with the Lord instead?
And she laid her hands on the paperwork and he said, well, this, and it's like that.
I want to do that somehow, somewhere.
I want to do that.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
That was interesting because she was only aware of her spirit and she was not aware
of her soul, but either either Lord did something miraculous for her or she was just not conscious
of what her soul was doing at the time.
It might've been a soul.
It might've been a consciousness shift.
I'm not, I'm not really sure.
So anyway, yeah.
I'm not sure if it was something supernatural that did it for her or if, or if she wasn't
aware of what her soul was doing at the time.
So kind of like our bodies can, I'm just kind of explaining this for other people and the
for other people who might be seeing this recording later, like our bodies can be doing
something that is so much of a habit, like breathing.
Our bodies breathe.
We don't even think about it while we're, while our minds are thinking about something
else or doing something else.
So our spirits can do the same thing.
And what we can do is we can shift our consciousness into our spirit in the, in the same way where
our souls can then be doing things that we're not conscious of because we've shifted our
consciousness into our spirit.
And then eventually we can be to the point where, like we are now, where we can be conscious
of both our soul and our body at the same time.
We can eventually get to the point where we're conscious of what our spirit is doing at the
same time as our soul.
I just wanted to mention this to other people because you and I've been in these, in these
and heard a lot about this, but some people on that are either on this call or might see
this recording later.
It'd be like, what?
It can sound really creepy.
And I'm just trying to explain, you know, to everybody else that I'm talking about here
about like shifting consciousness.
So just like we're already aware of between our soul and our soul and our body, we can
do that with our spirit as well, because our spirit's doing things.
It's in Christ.
It's one with Christ.
It's, it's, it's doing stuff.
We're just not conscious of it.
So we can, we can become conscious of what it's doing.
Yeah.
So let's see, what time is it?
Oh, wow.
Only 10 more minutes.
The time flew.
Does anyone have anything before we, in the next 10 minutes?
So are you still in Houston?
I am.
I am in Houston.
Yeah.
In fact, I'm sitting out in the car.
My friends are in the, in a sushi restaurant, so I left the sushi restaurant to come out
here.
So they're either going to, they're either going to sit there and while I finish or they're
going to box something up for us to take home.
So, but yeah, I'm in Houston.
So had a, had a really neat opportunity to.
to have someone help me with some things.
So anyway, took advantage of it.
Well, it was 72 degrees here today.
So what kind of temperature do you have in Houston?
Let me check.
It is, oh, it's 66.
Well, we are warmer than you are.
Yes, I know, that's so strange.
But y'all have already had your first snowfall, right?
This year?
Yeah, we had one snowfall already.
Nice, nice, I bet that was pretty.
I saw the pictures of the fall, that's lovely.
It is.
So is there anything else, everyone?
I think we have a pretty small group tonight,
just four, Amy and Jonathan were on here earlier
and they popped off, but just a small group tonight,
just four of us.
I think we're up to maybe, is it 18 in the group?
Maybe, might be 18 members, something like that, so.
Okay, well, if no one has any questions,
we can jump off.
Did you have something, Steph,
or were you just jumping on to say goodbye?
I'm so glad you jumped on, so I could see you one last time.
Let's get to talk to y'all, love all of y'all,
and I will talk to y'all later.
Guess it looks like next week.
Okay, well, that's, okay, next week is Thanksgiving Day.
So do you have, do you have New Year's on Thanksgiving Day?
We're not, we're not, yeah,
I know that everybody else is gonna be,
well, I probably will be too,
I don't know what I'm doing for Thanksgiving,
but yeah, so I forgot about that.
Thanksgiving is on a Thursday.
Okay, see you in two weeks.
Okay, bye, guys.
Bye, ladies. Bye.