I'm going to put on my glasses.
Hey Steph!
I'm liking the glasses.
I have not seen your glasses.
We should work all the time.
That is so cute.
Hey Carrie!
That makes sense.
Enjoy the baby.
I have not seen your glasses.
I enjoyed getting that Christmas card.
Chloe does a good job.
She tried to capture everybody's personality.
She captured Bailey exuberant and joyful.
She was such an easy baby.
She was so cute.
She was such an easy baby.
She had Emma hands on her hips.
I have not even met Emma and I know that is her.
She did so good on that.
That is the art style she was telling you about.
I love it.
She is good at it.
I love how you always support your kids.
Your artwork is going to be your Christmas card.
I love it.
You had coffee in your hand.
I immediately knew.
The height was about the same for all of the girls.
I was like,
which one is the coffee?
That is so cute.
I love it.
Howdy.
Hello.
Long time no talk.
I got your Marco Polo.
She went back.
Alana has sent me this clip.
She said when she was listening to the five day
rest intensive,
it reminded her of it.
This clip from Bob Newhart.
I have seen clips from Bob Newhart,
but not any to remember.
I have not seen this one.
She said me talking about stop,
tell your body and soul,
it is free.
It is basically where he calls somebody in
and says it only charges $5 for the first five minutes.
It is free after that.
She said that sounds great.
I can assure you it will not last even five minutes.
He tells her,
tell me what the problem is.
She says I have this fear that I will be buried in a box.
I can't be in anything that is like a box.
I can't be in an elevator,
I can't be in the house.
She goes through the whole thing.
I will give you two words that will cure it.
Do I need a paper and pen?
No,
you should be able to remember.
He yells at her,
I have this fear that I will be buried in a box.
Stop it.
She didn't receive that well.
She decided to finish the next five minutes.
She only had $5 and he didn't have any change.
She needed to finish the $5.
She continues to mention
all these other things she struggled with.
Bulimia and whatever.
That is the only advice he could give her.
That is so funny.
I never thought about me saying
that we just need to tell our body and soul to stop.
I know it's not, hopefully how it comes across to anybody, but
it cracks me up because obviously that doesn't work.
What?
No, I thought it was so funny.
Cause I just, I remember seeing it a long time ago.
Like the girl's like, yeah, my next problem is like, I'm bulimic.
I stick my fingers down my throat.
And he's like, stop it.
Stop it.
Just stop it.
She just kept going on.
Stop it.
Not hearing anything.
Oh yeah.
It's it's finishes the very thing with, he said, okay, so I will give you it.
She said, this is not helping.
He said, I'm sorry.
Are we moving too fast?
And she said, yes.
And so she, he said, well, okay, well, I will give you 10 words that I
think will help, you know, progress you to the next step and, you know,
just ease you along a little bit.
And she's like, okay, fine.
So she gets out her pencil and paper this time, cause it's going to be 10 words.
And then he said, stop it.
Or I'll bury you alive in a box or something along that phrase, you know?
And so that's what the whole thing is, you know, because it's Bob Newhart.
And so it's a, it's a comedy sitcom.
And so anyway, I thought that that was pretty funny that she was
watching my, my, uh, my, uh, one of the sessions, I think it's the third
session, um, from the past five days.
And, and she, she has Bob Newhart in her mind as I'm talking.
I'm like, wait a minute.
Just kidding.
Well, cause you're like, just stop, just stop, just stop.
Right.
And I'm like, stop it.
Stop it.
I know.
I doubt that that is free.
That that's pretty funny.
I know.
I've had people tell me actually, whoops, actually tell me that before
when I was going to them for help.
Sorry, my sense, my, what is falling at my things falling down?
I don't know why I've gone to people for help before.
And that was their advice to me.
Basically they didn't use those words, but that's what they said.
Just like, actually just don't do that.
I'm like, this is not helpful.
And the way, the way you say it is so different.
Like you're not like at all.
Like you give reasoning and everything behind it.
Like why?
And the stopping is more like letting go.
But for him, he's just like, stop it.
Like, come on, just don't put your fingers down.
Yeah.
Well, I grew up with a joke of like, well, doctor, it, it hurts when I do
this and he says, well, don't do this, you know, that's what I grew up.
That's the joke that was going around my house, you know, like, oh, yeah,
it's funny to do this and don't do that.
I remember that one too.
I'm probably the only one here that's old enough to have watched
that the first time around.
So it's like, I knew exactly what she was talking about because
that's one of the classics.
And I was there to see, you were there to see it live because that was
before they had recordings, right?
No, I know when they had the deal before they got in head DVRs or anything.
So, yeah.
Well, unless did they do many reruns back then when Bob knew heart first year,
you got to see it the second time because you were there to see it live.
So you got to see it the second time because you did the first segment.
And then by the end of the year, you had the reruns for the, so you
could always see it a second time, but they had clips and that was one
of the ones that they play over and over again, because, you know, at
that point counseling was a big deal.
I mean, if you admitted to going to a counselor, that was a stigmatism.
So then to have this farce about what counseling was like, really.
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
I'm so interesting.
Now that was, was that the nineties?
Mary Tyler Moore.
So I mean, I graduated in 77, so it was between, it was in the
seventies because I was in high school when that kind of stuff was coming out.
Okay.
Yeah.
Cause I, I didn't know.
Um, I didn't know when Bob knew heart.
I couldn't remember.
I knew that Mary Tyler Moore was, you know, like you said, like probably in
the, I wasn't sure if Mary Tyler Moore was in the sixties or seventies.
I grew up watching some of hers on Nick at night.
So, but I wasn't sure.
And so along with Bob Newhart, so, but of course those were a free run.
So I was born in 84.
Yeah.
Those were the real reruns.
Oh, so does anyone have something to start us off with?
We did not meet last week just because it ended up being the best time for me to
do the five day intensive for everyone at eight to 10, eight to nine central
standard time.
Um, and so I felt real bad about like using our Thursday night time slot.
But the reason we picked it for Thursday night is it's ended up
working really well for everybody.
So I was like, well, I think that means that it's going to work good for me to
do, if I've got five whole days to do that at the same time, every, every.
night I figured that that would be the best slot and then a lot of y'all were in the in fact the
majority of you that are in that that try to make it to the um the um q and a's regularly y'all were
in the group so I was like well they're gonna see me anyway um and uh and then we don't have it next
week because I'd be more than happy to do it but it's Christmas I think it's Christmas Eve right
and um so I know that y'all are all gonna be busy uh oh my word and the New Year's Eve is after that
anyway we'll see what we're gonna do but um so uh I'm glad that yet all of y'all were able to jump
on tonight so does anyone have anything to start us off with at all now that I've started us off
with Bob Newhart I've done my due diligence so somebody else is up well you you probably
responded to my Marco Polo about that crazy vision yeah I had yeah that was very neat
yeah that was very very cool yeah I like that um yeah so uh I you know I didn't want to share
anything about that because that's for you to share but um yeah so everyone Alana had a vision
and it was really neat how the Lord was just uh talking to her through it because he was just
affirming her where she was and just saying that you know she could always um she could count on
the fact that her that she is a son of God is um uh afforded the the right to um receive uh
protection from her father who would always be thinking of her and providing it even when she
didn't know she needed it and wasn't um hadn't asked him for it so that was a sweet thing to
be shown the Lord by the Lord yeah yeah and it was neat because you know I heard his voice pretty
clearly guiding me in one direction and I I didn't go I like I said no to the thing that I knew he was
telling me to say no to but I altered it a little bit and I found an alternative very typical yeah
that I mean that we do that kind of thing yeah yeah and I was like well I don't really have
enough time to kind of pray about it but I this might work this might be okay so I stepped into
something that I knew was going to be a bit of a dark area but I was like well maybe I've got
enough of light in me now or maybe like if I'm enough in the spirit then God will allow me to
be able to kind of like rise above the darkness in a sense right and so I went I went sort of partly
into the situation and it um by the time I was done I felt a lot of darkness and I was saying
to Ashley I had this vision that there were like angels around me I was in my bedroom there were
angels around me and then as soon as the darkness kind of hit all the angels went over to the side
and kind of lined up because the enemy's army was trying to come at me and it was like the angels
were protecting me and it was interesting because even though I didn't like I I followed what God
said to a certain degree but not fully and he still protected me he still was there and you
know I I was saying like there's no condemnation like I didn't look at it as like oh my gosh what's
wrong with me why did I do that like I took I took a step and he still blessed me in the middle of
a dark a darker situation where I was like wow he actually allowed me to be blessed by something
that was kind of meant for evil in a way but he like brought good out of it in in my life and
I guess like one of my questions in that and I don't think I mentioned this on the polo but it's
like are we ever in a position because this was this is maybe my fantasy or maybe it's possible
it's like are we ever in a position where we're so much in the spirit that we can walk into
darkness and really not allow it to affect us at all like we would literally rise above it
and it would have no bearing on us it would not affect us is that is that possible oh yeah
absolutely I mean you think that I'm sorry just oh my dog no and I remember when Jesus died he
went and the bible says and however it means this it says that he went down and got the keys to
hell and he preached to those who had died before who died before the flood or died in the flood
I don't remember but anyway so and then Jesus was in the wilderness and he was the bible says
that he was directly tempted by satan himself and things like that so it's absolutely possible for
us to be in situations like that and and and then not to affect us that's that that's the thing is
It's not and that's what I want to make sure that everyone always understands when they, when we learn about rest is that rest and by that I'm talking about I'm talking about the same thing I'm not changing subjects and talk about the fact
that you know, being in the spirit, and we're meaning like we're always that that is our identity is in the spirit so I know that I talked about like oh well, and then solar and the body and whatever we're all it we're all unified you know spirit
our soul and body is where it is that we've shifted our consciousness to thinking that we are in which aspect of ourselves. We're pulling from as a source.
That's the problem so it's not like we drop down into the soul and then we rise up into the spirit we're all the same thing. We just use that kind of like as a, as a, as a way to express the fact that our consciousness is shifting into where it is
that we are attributing our identity to. But anyway, so when our, when we recognize and acknowledge the fat and rest in the Lord relative realizing I know my identity is here and I'm going to operate from this place.
Nothing can affect us. So when we, when we talk about shifting into rest, it's not the environment around us that all of the things that all of the situations that we're in with family or with friends or struggles that we have in business or or whatever.
It doesn't mean that those things are going to go away. It just, it means that they're not going, we're not going to be enslaved by them anymore. That's what shifting into rest means.
So it means that even when the things are happening whether there are demonic attacks, or there are, in other words, that we're in the middle of something that is trying to attack us, it doesn't mean that we are threatened of being overcome.
But, I mean, just like Satan, you know, came and tempted Jesus, but he didn't overcome Jesus so therefore if you can't be overcome because you know who it is that you are, it's not a threat, but it still tries to come and and and try to battle you or thwart you or whatever but but there's nothing no reason for us to be scared there's no reason for us to be triggered into into fear, because that can only happen if we believe that we can be overcome.
If we can believe that we can be that there's actually a threat is then like a threat of being overtaken.
So, yeah, absolutely. The, the thing is that, yeah, we're, we're learning how to remember who it is that we are so that we can then proclaim truth.
And push out the darkness. But in the meantime, it, what we have to understand and receive from the Lord first is the truth that we live in freedom, free from fear free from being enslaved free from being threatened free free from being overcome, that kind of thing but it doesn't mean it's, we're not going to.
Things aren't going to come against us or we're going to be in uncomfortable situations. It means that we're just not affected by them, where our emotions are going to and fro, because we're feeling afraid that we're overcoming that right now.
Yeah, that makes sense like I feel like I didn't, I didn't experience the fear. I didn't experience a lot of the same things I've experienced before but I noticed like before I went into the call I had a lot of anxiety.
And it was like this thing where it was like something was stopping me. It was just this feeling that I was being stopped and like if I was actually physically walking I probably wouldn't have been able to walk anymore like it just felt like I was being stopped.
And so there was that and there was some anxiety and nervousness about it.
And then afterwards, I just felt like my head hurt and that there was like a lot of pain, and that vision came. And I'm thinking, so in that situation like, is there a way that I can shift into the spirit or like okay so here's my question.
Either God's saying to me like I really don't want you to be involved in any way shape or form it doesn't matter how much you live in the spirit, this is not where I want you.
Or I'm like I can shift into the spirit and be a light in a situation that's very dark, and maybe that's what he's saying but I don't know because I don't know that I'm there yet so like I'm not.
I don't know how you would discern something like that like I feel like if I was in the spirit enough I could handle it. So, I don't know that's what I'm thinking.
So also, the more that that we read that we.
How to explain this, that we shift into.
We begin to learn what it means as we seek the Lord, meaning like we seek.
Lord, who are you? Reveal yourself to me. I'm trying to discover who it is that you are,
so I'm asking in our interactions what it is that you guide me in that you reveal to me
your character. Who is it, Lord, that I'm united with? Who is it that I'm married to? Who are you
as my husband? The more that we discover who he is and then the more that that relationship
develops, the more we trust him and the more that we choose to receive of his love, the more of his
heart is revealed to us. And part of that relationship is understanding his heart,
therefore his will, his desire, how it expresses himself. And then we become,
we in seeing him, we see ourselves in him like a mirror. And then we can now know more about who
it is that we are because whoever Christ is, in other words, we're everything that Christ is and
nothing that he's not. So then we start rising up. I'm like giving you a full picture here.
Then we start rising up and then we, and the Lord teaches us how to make more and more mature
decisions that reflect our character, which reflects our father's character. And it's by
learning who he is that we discover who we are. Then we're able to bring our hearts
in conjunction with his heart. It's kind of like both bringing them to the table.
And it's through something like that, through situations like that, that we then realize, okay,
Lord, what do you and I want to do together? Do we want to put ourselves in those situations?
Because it's not so much always a situation of a question of, do we want to put ourselves in
those situations or do we not want to put ourselves in situations? It's like, Lord,
what is it that we're doing? You and I together expressing our, the spirit on the earth,
bringing heaven into earth, expressing the invisible into the visible. What are we going,
what are we going to do? Are we going to operate over here? Are we going to interact with these
people or what, how am I, how am I declaring the invisible into the visible? And if it happens to
be in that area that you're talking about with the, with those people, well then, then you'll
know it. So, but it's not like this thing of, it's something that we develop over time,
unless the Lord just reveals it, because as you come to understand more of who God is and get to
see more of his heart, then you start understanding more of who you are. And then what is it, Lord,
that we want to do together? How do we, how do we interact on the earth? And then that will
determine whether you're in those situations, whether the two of y'all decide that you should
be in those situations, because it's part of how you're bringing the invisible into the visible.
It's not as much of, oh, should I put myself in those situations or not put myself in situations
that is determined by how you're choosing with the Lord to express the invisible into the visible,
to manifest something that is, is present in heaven and to make it actually visible in the
created realm. That would determine it. Yeah. Okay. So yeah, I hear you. No, it's, it's good.
I think, you know, the beautiful part about it is, like I said, there was no fear. I didn't have the
same feelings. I didn't have the anxiety that I've had before. I didn't have the depletion and all of
that. So I feel like I've risen above it, you know, for sure. Since the last time I was engaged in
any way. And I think it was safer for me because nobody knew that I was there. So that was helpful
too, except April. And so I feel like, you know, God, he allowed that, but I also feel like he's
stopping me from, if I really think about what he's saying to me, I feel like there's a stopping.
There's something that's not allowing me to, so it's either maybe that I'm not ready. If I'm ever
going to be ready, he'll reveal it to me. And I guess it's not about me thinking, because I think
in the past, I've had this thought of if I'm in the spirit, then I can do anything. If I'm in the
spirit, if I'm bringing the invisible down to the visible, then anything's possible. Then I could
handle that kind of a situation where if I was in that space before I would have gone through that
whole ordeal and I would have not been impacted by it like I was, you know? So I guess those
thoughts come because I wonder, yeah, how? Everything's permissible, but not everything's edifying.
Not everything has the purpose for which we were intended to express the Lord and us
on the earth. So anyway, it may not always have.
I don't know, did that make sense?
So you can, you can still be living in the spirit, but it still might not be something
he wants you involved in.
Correct.
Yeah.
What, because say for instance, if he has you somewhere else, but you're focused all
of your time, effort, energy, and attention over here, that then he's like, well, you
can do that.
And somebody can express heaven into earth that way, but I want you to, you know, but
the things that I have in your spirit, I use that to help.
I, you know, as a good father, I allow that to be used for your good, your experience
over here.
But it doesn't mean that because you've had an experience over here, that this somehow
goes into your future, quite looking like this.
It can help, you know, you and father might decide, yeah, but we want to manifest heaven
and earth in this, in this other way.
I don't know.
I'm saying that that's why we don't know.
And and so, yeah, it, when we're in the, if we're operating out of this spirit, so it's
this interesting thing, trying to figure out how to, how to explain this when we're, when
we're operating out of the spirit realm, we make decisions for, from a totally different
place.
We make them based off of our understanding of greater understanding of his love and of
his character and what that therefore means.
And, and we, we just see things totally different.
We, we no longer, for instance, I'm not saying that you feel this way, I'm just using this
as an example, because it would be something that as soon as I say, you're like, oh yeah,
I understand that it, it, it, when we begin to understand the father much more fully,
we begin to see that we can actually walk away from the situation that you've walked
away from and it not be abandoning people and it not be doing, you know, like, oh Lord,
I could have, and I could have helped or Lord me walking away.
Does it mean that I'm weak?
Does it mean that I couldn't handle it?
And I was like, no, it means it's not where you need to be.
You need to be somewhere else.
So it's when we're, when we operate more out of his heart and we begin to understand him
more, we make decisions from a different place.
And we just understand different things about him.
For instance, this is a really bad, I don't know.
I feel like this isn't quite a great example, but there are all kinds of things that the
Lord does, whether he's told us these things directly for our own lives and how we should
interact with the world, or we just watch it happen in life.
Say for instance, people in Africa or people in India and, and we see their lives looking
extremely impoverished or very unhealthy and they're dying at three years old or three
months or whatever, due to malnutrition, et cetera.
And we're going, God, what are you doing?
Why is that?
Why is that happening?
Why is that permissible?
And now, yes, obviously sin is prevalent in the world.
So I'm not trying to blame God for all these things.
My point is, we see all kinds of things that he says point blank to do in scripture that
he tells people to do, whether in the old or the new Testament and things that we're,
I don't know, and, and we're like, God, this doesn't all make sense.
So there's, in other words, there's more about the Lord that we need to understand.
So us trying to determine the idea of like what good looks like and what strength looks
like and what weakness looks like on the earth and holding God to our parameters is
going to limit our being, us being able to allow him to present himself according to
who it is that he truly is.
So we don't, I mean, unless the Lord just tells you point blank about what it is that
he wants you to do and what he wants you to be involved in, that's an exploratory journey
that the two of you will go on about what things you should be involved with and which
ones you shouldn't.
And I would recommend that you free yourself from the, from this, from any kind of internal
obligation that you might feel of, I should be, surely I should be surely me being able
to be part of these things means that I'm strong.
Surely me learning more and learning more about how to operate in the spirit means that
I will be able to be involved in these situations that, that is the end goal is that I I'll
be strong enough in, therefore I should be involved in these situations or whatever we're,
we're creating all of these, we're creating in rest or, or understanding a new aspect
of the Lord, like abiding rest and operating the spirit or whatever.
We can.
start creating a new standard and a new set of judgments of like, oh, well, then obviously it should mean this, and it should mean this and I should be able to do this and operating spirit I should be means I should be able to be in these situations and because that's the strong thing to do or whatever.
I'm not saying that you're thinking all those things. I'm, I'm just trying to paint, paint everything with a bigger picture than what your question actually is because I think the bigger picture helps to answer the question to give you a context for your question.
So, understanding on I'm not trying to like, say that you're thinking things that you're not thinking I'm not putting words in your mouth. I'm just painting a bigger context for it well and you're not far off because I do think part of me is like, if I could be in that
situation, and be like totally clean totally at peace totally unaffected by it.
I would say that I've reached like a new level spiritually or a new level with the Lord. And so it's almost like a litmus test for me it's almost like if you're going to stand up to like your abuser right you're like, I can go and I can stand up to this person
and then I know that I have like God's protection and right we tell ourselves these things and I think, I think that's what I've done with it so you're very accurate.
So, if it's helpful and because again the only reason I tell you all of these things is because tell tell any of us these things is to free us, because we're so used to thinking at following that kind of logic.
And if that's the only logic that we're familiar with for because it's the logic that we were that we were raised with it you know in the world because we've all, you know, all think that that's how things work.
Then it's the same logical process that will take when we're trying to learn something new about the Lord and the Lord's like no scrap the logic.
We need a new logic pathway. And so, he's like no it's, it's more free than that. And so like okay, so then we learn more things and God's like okay, uh huh, you know, it's more free than that.
And so we continually have to like break ourselves out of these, these, these, these, and these ways in which we were taught and rewarded for following those particular logic pathways, I feel like I'm not grammatically structuring my sentence as well so I apologize.
But I was talking to one of the client.
So, it's like it's all based on relationship and spirit, and it's all in it and it flows, and it's not static and it's not rigid and anyway it's dictated by the Lord and his character, and therefore we have to know a person, and we have meaning like a being, and we
have to be in relationship with him and that's what's going to actually open up and reveal things to us, as opposed to us being able to have something that we look at and compare these things up against in order to know what to think about this thing.
So it's like no no no no take that thing and compare it up against me, not against, not against all of these characteristics, or, or opposite of God's character, and then see how this thing measures up so we can, if we're not careful we can begin to create new, new, new standards.
But anyway, but yeah we're more free, even than even that Carrie mentioned something very fascinating and one of her posts in the five day where she talked about the fact that once she got rest, and I started understanding that rest.
She was working really really hard to try to maintain it, thinking that this was the new way in which, as if it was a new way for God to be pleased that she could assure God was pleased with her.
And God had to then break that off to he's like no no, there are no, no more of these standards, not even thinking that you being operating more out of rest and operating more of the spirit means that I'm more pleased with you or whatever.
Because she was trying to now hold rest together, you know, and and hold that confession and so the Lord just keeps breaking more and more of those things off of us and it's, it's just, it's, it's wild and it's more and more freeing as we go.
Yeah, and that's similar to because I would say like, I'm not, I'm not exactly looking for him to be more pleased but I'm kind of thinking, I've reached enough.
or level in my spiritual maturity, it's a way to measure
ourselves. Yeah. And it's like, so part of being in rest is not
measuring ourselves against this or test progress. Yeah. And like
testing ourselves. It's like, okay, we're really close to God
if we do this and this and this because it's like the law,
right? Correct. That of the spirit.
Yes. Yeah. Very good way to put that. Yeah, very good way to put
that. Yeah, we don't. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, yeah, because in
remember that God's tests for us, you know, when it talks to
the Lord, when it talks in the Bible about about tests, what
that is, it's it's moving us into greater measures. It's
crossing thresholds. It's not. Okay, I've been teaching you
this lesson. Now here's a test and let's see if you pass it.
It's, it's they're actually thruster thresholds that we're
crossing into greater measures of love and freedom, where we
are being given the choice to finally let go. And what he
teaches is that to that point is he's like, hey, it's possible
to let this go here. Hey, here's this new concept for you. Did
you know that this was something you were hanging on to, you can
actually, you can actually more great move, it's possible to let
this thing go. And I don't require this of you. If you let
this go, you can move into more love and freedom. And so then
he'll bring us to what we refer to as this test, which is
actually he's like, okay, here's an opportunity for you to
finally let it go. Do you want to let it go? But it's not this
test. And let's see if you learn your lesson. It's like, okay,
now that you know, it's possible. This here's, here's a
trigger. Here's the thing. And not that not that God tempts us
because God never tempts us. But it's like we have an opportunity
in which we've been triggered that we're in. And God's like,
okay, see this thing that's now in the light that you wanted to
hide in the darkness, it's now in the light. And you have an
opportunity to let that go. Do you want to do that? And be
have it be replaced by light and love and freedom. It's not these
these tests of like moving into levels of higher spiritual
maturity, because he, you know, it because he's now pleased more
with us now than he was then or, or anything. It's, it's just, I
don't know, it can't be it can't be measured the way that the
world likes to likes to measure things. So it's just all
relationship with him. And there are there are people that we
would measure, according to that is being very, very low. And
sometimes they can know more about God than we do. Sometimes
non Christians know more about God than we do. So, so anyway,
we because God doesn't measure things like that anymore. It's
not linear.
Yeah. Have you ever seen the map of consciousness levels?
David, David Hawkins.
I've heard of David Hawkins, I've not heard of Matt, but
consciousness level,
basically, it's basically like this, this picture of I could
probably show it to you if I had it. But it's like, it goes from
a low level of vibration, in a sense, up until like, you know,
it's like energy. So it goes from like shame, you know,
grief, fear, anger, up to courage, and then acceptance.
And each one has like, almost like a vibrational level. And
the top one is enlightenment. And I'd be curious to know what
you think of this, I could send it to you separately. But I've
often wondered how this might align with Christianity. And if
there is something in these sort of vibrational levels of, you
know, peace and joy and love and enlightenment. And if we reach
that, then we're just vibrating at a higher level or living more
in the spirit, and therefore, like God can do more through us,
or I don't know.
And I think that the what they're referring to as lower
levels of consciousness is greater resistance that we have
built up to who it is that, that we really are being united in
Christ, the believers being united in Christ, you know,
being unified with the Lord. And so it's just greater, the lower
ones are just us being in greater and greater resistance.
And, you know, like you were talking about, you know, it
starts with like shame, condemnation, you know, things
like that. And the this whole idea of like, what the what the
world refers to, or New Agers, or whoever refers to as
enlightenment, that, you know, they have their own ways of
phrasing things. But there's elements that we can remember
that the New Agers have taken to and attributed certain I don't
know, that they they've corrupted and they twisted, but
it doesn't mean that there's not an element that the original is
isn't truth. So in other words, the original is true, but how
did they corrupt and change that?
that and to develop like, I don't know, whatever structure that they have.
But I think my point is that there's a seed of truth in that, in what
it is that they're talking about.
I don't know that we would describe it the same way that they did.
That's just the way that they understand it.
Um, but we're getting, we're, you know, as we, as we let go of that more,
let go of that resistance where we're operating more according to who it is
that we actually naturally are, um, being one, being spirit, one with the Lord.
Um, and, and remembering that we're one with the Lord, remembering that, um,
you know, we're, our, our spirits are the new man who has, who the Bible says is
never sinned, um, they, it has access to all wisdom is access to all knowledge.
Um, you know, and, uh, and Ken is, is familiar with the heart of
the father and, and all of that.
And I think that that's a lot of what the, uh, new agers refer to as enlightenment.
But another thing that we can remember is that just because they
had, because they twisted things, um, whether we're talking about this or
we're talking about something, some other thing other than this pyramid or, or what
you're talking about, about these levels of consciousness, that if we don't go
through the narrow gate, in other words, if we do not go to God, God and God, the
father's wonderful, but if we do not go to God through Christ, through his blood,
through that narrow gate, which is the whole thing, which after you go through
the narrow gate, it widens and it opens up, but we went through Christ and we,
and we stayed literally stay in the blood all the time, because we're now
united with him.
If we do that and we access the kingdom through that, then that's all good.
But Jesus says that if you go in by a way, other than the gate, you can access
things, but if you didn't go through the blood, well, then, you know, we get, uh,
people will get to the Lord and they'll say, well, Lord, you know, I cast out
demons in your name and I did this in your name, did you do that in your name?
And so in other words, the, it looks like they received the benefits of the kingdom,
but they accessed it.
God says like a thief and a robber.
And, um, yeah.
Uh, and cause they didn't do it through the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ.
And therefore the Lord says that to those people, he's going to tell
them, you know, depart from me.
I never knew you.
Um, so there's an element of truth in some of those things, but it doesn't
mean that the way that they're doing it and going about it, uh, in, in the way
that they actually describe it is accurate, it's, it's corrupted and it
can come in as a thief and a robber.
And it's why certain people can have very, can have lucid dreams and they can
have these spiritual encounters, but it not be through the blood of Jesus Christ.
And, um, and there are Christians who aren't experiencing those things, but
those other people we're not missing out.
If we're not accessing, if, if we would be missing out from what they're
experiencing because they're experiencing it outside of the blood of Jesus Christ.
And, and God doesn't put up with that.
So anyway, there's a seed of truth in those things, but it doesn't mean that we
need to be following the corrupted version.
That's interesting to major trouble and expose ourselves to the demonic.
Yeah, absolutely.
So I wonder if like the lower levels on this map of consciousness are basically
like being in resistance to God, not trusting, not believing, you know, not,
not like trusting his spirit and his character and who he is and who we are in
him.
And as we rise, you know, we, and we go through that narrow gate, which by the
way, thank you.
I never realized Christ was really like the narrow gate was like a metaphor for
Christ.
I didn't know.
Yeah.
It's not a set of moral codes.
Yeah.
It's so interesting.
I love that.
And so if we're going through the narrow gate and we're living more and more in
the spirit because we're trusting and believing him, then we have the potential
to live more from a place of love, joy, trust, all of that.
Is that accurate?
If we go through him.
Yeah.
Um, uh, sort of, yeah, it's, it's, it's, um, still it's doing it.
How would I put that?
Where we're partaking of God himself, meaning that operating according to the
tree of life operating in the blood of Jesus Christ, we're operating according
to the tree of life.
And therefore there's life in what it is that we do, as opposed to people who
operate from the tree of knowledge of being evil, including, you know, the new
age or concept of like, Oh, accessing heaven or whatever, by some place other
than the gate and other than the blood of Jesus Christ and everything that they
do, even though it sounds good and wonderful, Oh Lord, who cast demons out
in your name and we did this and we used your name.
See, I mean, these aren't people who deny that.
deny Jesus Christ, even in the Bible, it's saying,
oh, well, you know, cast him out, even in Jesus's name.
And Jesus says, depart from me, I never knew you.
You didn't go through my blood.
You didn't acknowledge the fact that the only way
through which to have life and access the father
appropriately and not as a thief and a robber,
but legitimately is through my blood.
And therefore, even though it looked like
you received certain benefits and it looked in the fruit,
in other words, the physical manifestation looked similar,
Christians cast out demons as well in mining.
But one of them is with life
and one of them has death in it.
So that's another reason why God tells us
we need to be discerning of spirits and why the world,
we just want to look at the fruit itself and like,
oh, well, only Christians can cast out demons.
No, no, and we want to look at the fruit
and just be able to very quickly and easily create
this judgment and the standard chart of,
if I see these things, it means this.
And if I see these other things that it means this,
but what that does is trade the knowledge of an evil.
We believe we're turning away from the Lord,
like Lord, I don't want to, without knowing you,
without knowing your character, being able to,
in other words, knowing you as a being, not like knowing,
but knowing you as a being,
being intimate in relationship with you,
that scares me, I don't want to be that vulnerable.
I'll just know about you and be able to discern
everything about my life and everybody else's life
to know whether or not we're meeting your standards
of your character.
And God's like, no, no, no, it's about relationship.
So, yeah.
So it's more than just, God's just like,
people, I don't, I'm not as interested in what it is you do
because the non-believers do those things too.
But I want you to have relationship with me.
And Jesus said the only way to have relationship
with the Father and out of which everything breeds life
is through the blood of Jesus Christ.
So we've gotten ourselves all confused as to thinking,
well, we have it, what matters is our behavior.
No, sometimes non-Christians behave a lot better
than Christians.
That doesn't mean do they squat.
One brings life and one brings death
and it's from the source.
So we can't, so even when we shift into understanding
more about rest and understanding,
hey, we have an opportunity to operate out of the spirit,
meaning out of relationship with God,
we don't need to still keep that idea of standards
and what it is we're looking for to manifest in our lives.
We still are wanting to look at manifestations
in order to judge ourselves and others by,
and what God is trying to do is try to mature us
to the point where we don't look at manifestations
to tell us something, but we actually tell things,
we tell manifestations what they should be.
We say, oh no, I want this to manifest.
We govern so that we create the manifestations,
not see the manifestations and use it to tell us something
about ourselves like, oh, well, this proves
that therefore I'm strong enough.
This proves that I've matured.
This proves that whatever God's just like,
let's get away from the manifestations,
looking at the manifestations
and instead dictate the manifestations
as opposed to looking at them to tell us something.
So this is a very serious maturation process
that we go through.
This is the stuff that we're talking about tonight,
very heavy stuff.
It can sound, if we're not careful,
it can sound very esoterical,
so I'm trying to make it as non-esoterical
and as down to earth as possible,
but it's hard to do when it really is a very mature concept
for us to switch into because I still,
I still, and I know this, I'll get afraid of something
and I'll just like, Lord, I just don't see you in this.
I know that you tell me to trust you and I'm going to,
but I'm just telling you, I don't see you in this.
And then I hear myself, I'm like,
I'm holding God accountable in his character,
in my mind to make it count to me
of why it's manifesting the way that it is
and it's not manifesting differently than this.
And I'm like, oh, Ashley, you're so caught up now.
You've got to stop doing that.
So we have grace for ourselves just like the Lord does,
but I just wanted to mention
what eventually we're moving to.
And he wants us to be free
from constantly holding ourselves to some standard of,
okay, I'm going to test myself now.
Our spirit is what witnesses to our spirit.
The Holy Spirit witnesses to our spirit
that we're the sons of God.
That is how we know.
It's how we know that we've grown,
that we've learned, that we've whatever.
So our focus is on the relationship, not in how it's manifesting.
So, yeah, no, that's awesome. Thank you.
I feel like I sound very esoterical, but I did my best.
No, and I hope you don't mind me asking about that kind of stuff.
Because it's like, I feel like kind of on the journey, that's where I'm at.
And yeah, okay.
And I noticed that the other ones kind of like shut their video and weren't saying anything.
So I was like, maybe we'll just carry this conversation a little bit.
I don't know if they want to say anything or not.
They might, they might just be visually busy.
I am listening, but I keep sneezing and blowing my nose.
So that was the reason why I put my thing on there.
Because the head cold has taken its toll on my...
So I'm over here, sipping my orange juice and sneezing and I have my like Kleenex box.
So that's, yeah.
You're having your own party.
I mean, I appreciate the conversation.
I can tell that since I actually watched that documentary,
Elena, that you have the place that you were a part of.
Of the place that you were a part of.
And I was appalled that anybody would have to live through something like that.
So to me, I mean, it makes me being sexually molested as a child, minimal in comparison to
the level of manipulation and abuse that was used in that program.
So I would see God's hesitation.
So in the same way, the level of flashbacks that I have when I have smells of a certain
kind or things that were a part of what I continue to struggle with in my relationship
with the Lord as a woman, as an adult, I can't even imagine because that was being
programmed into me as a child.
So to have the level of manipulation and control that was used on a sophisticated level
to manipulate people into thinking this was an elite society of special people that had
been given the blessing of being accepted into this group.
And then to hear your heart when you said there was a part that I still really miss
because there was such closeness and bonding with the people.
So all of what you have experienced, because I've been a part of that group when it was
just a Christian group, not having all the sexual stuff involved, where you really felt
like you were one with an organization.
And I had God say to me, you have put church before me.
And I was like, but God, I'm serving you in this church.
And we are here manifesting your will being done.
And we are praying for people.
And we are seeing supernatural healings take place.
You can't tell me that you're not here because that's everything that I experienced.
And he said it again, you have put church before me.
And I had to step back and really analyze that I was working more for him than I was
relating to him.
And that the people around me were feeding the realm of closeness, intimacy, connection
that he really wanted.
So it has always been a temptation to find in the natural, that group of people that
I felt that connected to, that we were really one like you would, you didn't even have to
talk, you could just be and exist.
And you would know what everybody else wanted to do.
So I relate to it based on, I had the sexual stuff as a child, and the exploitation and
the manipulation.
But then I had the connection as an adult, that I really thought, I mean, just like you
did, that that was fine, only to have God correct me on positioning myself in him, so
that I was not allowing a church to take the place of God.
So.
I would just encourage you, if God's telling you to stay away, it's probably because that need
has not yet been fully replaced by God himself. So he doesn't want you to be tempted
beyond your ability to want that connection with any other person but him first.
Mm-hmm. Amen. Well said. Preach it. That was awesome. I was like, I'm just letting you know
I am listening. And you know what? And I appreciated everything you just said. It
really absorbed into me. And just in full disclosure, the vow was based on NXIVM,
which a friend of mine was in, Sarah. You probably saw her when you watched it because she was
one of the main characters. I was in a different group that was very similar to that one. It wasn't
exactly that one. It was one that was very similar to it. But the same type of manipulation,
the same type, like Sarah and I would have many conversations about our experiences, very similar.
And so yeah, I appreciate what you're saying. And I mean, going through what you did as a child
and having that kind of exploitation and abuse and manipulation also has its effect. I mean,
it's different, right? And I would never minimize something like that because I feel like when
you're a child, it just has such an impact on your development. And it sounds to me like when you got
involved with the church, like you had such, and that spoke to me too, you had such an amazing
realization that you were putting the church like maybe a little bit before God or the people in the
church before God. And it sounds like a good thing because it's a church, right? And it sounds lovely,
but I love that you knew in your spirit that something, that you knew that something wasn't
aligned as much as it could be. And yeah, like that's powerful. And that spoke to me too,
because I'm like, yeah, I think you're right. I think I am still putting the closeness of those
people still wanting to be in relationship with the healthy ones above my relationship with God,
when really it's about growing closer to him. So thank you for that.
I believe God has got us all together for a reason. And there are things that someone says
that down the road, it's like, I mean, I would have never watched that documentary if I hadn't
because it was like, not something that I'd rather do. Hallmark movies, honestly,
with a real nice, good home feeling to me, you know, just to take two hours to watch that was
an eye opener of what is going on in the United States underneath our noses, how many different
places. So yeah, it was, I prayed for you. Well, thank you. And I'm not sure when you prayed,
but there have been some major shifts in the last few weeks with me in that situation. God
has released me of so much of it, which is amazing. So thank you for your prayers. I'm
sure they had an impact and all of that. Well, it was a whole lot more of, I know,
except for the grace of God, there would, I have gone, because I say, and I mean, I don't say it
jokingly, I say it sincerely. But once you've been sexually molested, you either go the side
of religion, or you go the side of being a prostitute and being very promiscuous. And
it's like, I would have made a good prostitute because I like sex. So that was like the flip
side of what would have been twisted otherwise. So the combination, you know, like there was
one documentary I saw, and it was somebody who went in to do an investigative story as a journalist,
and ended up becoming a prostitute because she saw how much fun and how much money these people
were making. And here she was getting a pittance. And she's like, well, they're having a whole lot
more fun in their life than I am. So yeah, it's not an unusual thing to have things twisted that
you really don't realize how easily you could have been snared with something else.
Yeah, thank you for your honesty. I love I love how like authentic and candid you are.
That's amazing. That's it's so refreshing. I love that. It's so refreshing.
Transparency is my middle name to my family's.
horror. It's one of my favorite qualities in a person. Like I think that is beautiful.
So thank you. It's very refreshing to me for sure.
Okay, well, Linda, speaking into her. And something else that I thought of as well want
Alana is sometimes the Lord doesn't want us to be involved in something because it's it's
this kindness that he of his where he's like, you know, I don't want you to be I want. It's
almost like he's like, allow me to protect you. You know, I love you. And this is the
way I'm loving you. It I you can be strong enough to handle all of that. But I don't
want my bride to be exposed to that. I don't want her to be in it. Even though she can
handle it, even though she can be strong, even though you know, she can do it. I don't
want it for her. Because I desire something different, because it does affect us. And
so think of think of David, or David, I think that y'all heard me use this, this example
before, where God raised David as a warrior king, to, you know, to expand Israel's borders
and establish the kingdom in a way that that no other king had ever established it. And
he had just been he spilled a lot of blood to do that. Well, God called him to be a warrior
king. But when she's that when Jesus when David decided that he, you know, man after
God's own heart wanted to build the temple, God says, You can't, you have too much blood
on your hands. And he literally said that he said, You have too much blood on your hands,
you cannot build my temple. And David was devastated. It was like, Lord, this is what
I want to do for you. So it seems like such a good thing. And he's like, No, because I
called you to something else. You can't do this, he said, but Solomon, he said, will
not be a warrior king. And therefore, he will be allowed to build my temple. So everyone
is called to different things. And in there, and just because they seem like exact opposites,
doesn't mean that one is blessed to the Lord and one isn't. He just it and, and just because
we can't be exposed to something doesn't mean that we're weak as if that's a bad thing.
God's like, No, I desire you to operate in the world in a particular way. And I don't
want the thing that you touch to have been touched through you by something else. It
just is to be separate. And it doesn't, but he's going to call other people to do that.
But those people can't touch this, that you're that you can touch. And anyway, so they're,
they're both good. And they're both lovely. And, and, and, and so there's this element
in which sometimes Lord's just like, No, I don't want you to touch that, because
that is actually me wanting to, I don't know, keep something about you, especially precious,
because it hasn't been exposed to it. And it doesn't mean that he's not it that he doesn't
consider other people precious, that he calls to touch it. But it's just, he's like,
this is the way that I'm loving you. And the way that I'm loving you is to call this thing
precious that I am keeping you from and keeping from you. And so it's another way that we can
view it. And I know that that might be challenging for us to understand, because like half of the
world didn't work like that. God's like, exactly. You're at the kingdom of the kingdom of the Lord,
not the kingdom of this world. And so he just, he thinks of it and sees that all just very,
very differently. So that's another way that we can, that we can receive any instruction that,
that you might be receiving from the Lord where you're feeling like, Oh, I am or I'm not being
allowed to expose myself to it. It can not mean that you're weak isn't a bad thing. It's just
like, Hey, I don't want my precious bride to be exposed to that. I, I'm going to call other people
to be exposed to it. But the world would say, well, me being exposed to it means something's
wrong. It means God thinks I can't handle it. You know, I guess, I guess that they're going,
I was not, ah, I see it. I see it as this precious thing I'm giving her, but other people,
I want to call them into it, but I want to give her something precious by asking, by not exposing
her to it. He does that with me a lot. There's a lot of things that I haven't been exposed to
a lot. And, and so I, I know enough about them. I can speak enough to them in the, in the spirit.
I help people through sexual addictions. They talked to me about some shocking things
and I can handle that.
I've never been married and therefore I have never, I've never known a man in
that way, but people come to me with sexual addiction issues and helping
trip in the spirit, this is the answer.
But the Lord doesn't want me exposed to because some of that stuff, people tell
me, and I never like actually thought through the fact that that's actually
a thing until they said it like, okay, well, because it's apparently a thing
then here's how you handle it.
And I, and I, but I have to do it in the spirit.
Why?
Because I don't have experience in it.
Yeah.
And so why?
Because the Lord just said, Ashley, I don't want you to be exposed to certain
to, to knowing that those things exist until, you know, I need you to help
someone and then your spirit is going to be able to speak to it.
And even though your soul is like, I have no idea, you know what I'm saying?
So I consider it a very precious gift and it's been hard to navigate that
because, and I'm not talking specifically about this one area and talking about
other areas that I've just not been exposed to certain things, certain music,
certain social activities.
I was homeschooled my whole life, grew up overseas, not in America, all kinds of
things.
And there were so many things in which that felt like, it felt like a handicap.
It felt like I'd missed out.
It, I felt that it, it, certain people didn't want to be friends with me because
they couldn't relate to me and it felt isolating.
It felt, I felt rejected full alone.
So I'm like, Lord, it is really hard to see this as a gift, but I chose because I
felt that maybe he received it as he would, that it was a precious is something
precious.
He wanted to offer to me.
Then I chose to receive it as precious.
And so now I can see that, see it and receive it in much better way without
considering myself to be weak, even though I'm still at 36 years old, find
myself in situations where people are just like, Oh, she doesn't know about such
and such or such and such.
And they, as if they don't, they don't value what I've learned to actually value
about me.
Um, because God says it's valuable.
So anyway, just FYI, the stuff that the world labels as weakness, meaning like
even Christians, if they're viewing it from a worldly perspective would view it
as weakness.
Um, doesn't mean that in the Lord's eyes, those things are weakness and that he, him
withholding us from certain things and being exposed to certain things or being
ever being just in certain situations is some, in some way indicating that he.
Doesn't think he, you know, we can stand it or that he can trust us with it.
He's like, no, no, no, I'm going to actually give you a gift and other people
have to be exposed to it in their life.
And I'm going to give you a gift and I'm going to protect you from it.
And will you let me protect you from it?
Could be another way that he, what he's trying to do.
So that may explain the vision a little bit too.
Yeah.
So anyway, yeah, that's great.
Yeah.
You're welcome.
Well, I guess that is it for tonight.
It was good to see everybody and, uh, we won't have it next week for, um, for
Christmas Eve and I know we will not have it for, um, for New Year's Eve either.
So I'm going to either have to figure out if we're going to do a different
night in the next couple of weeks, or if we won't meet until January.
So we shall see.
But I love all of you.
And, um, if I don't talk to you and, um, you know, on zoom before Christmas, I
hope y'all have a really good Christmas.
You too.
Thanks.
Bye.