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I'm going to put on my glasses.

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Hey Steph!

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I'm liking the glasses.

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I have not seen your glasses.

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I have not seen your glasses.

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I have not seen your glasses.

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We should work all the time.

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That is so cute.

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Hey Carrie!

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That makes sense.

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Enjoy the baby.

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I have not seen your glasses.

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I have not seen your glasses.

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I have not seen your glasses.

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I enjoyed getting that Christmas card.

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Chloe does a good job.

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She tried to capture everybody's personality.

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She captured Bailey exuberant and joyful.

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She was such an easy baby.

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She was so cute.

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She was so cute.

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She was such an easy baby.

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She had Emma hands on her hips.

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I have not even met Emma and I know that is her.

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She did so good on that.

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That is the art style she was telling you about.

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I love it.

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I love it.

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I love it.

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I love it.

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She is good at it.

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I love how you always support your kids.

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Your artwork is going to be your Christmas card.

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I love it.

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I love it.

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You had coffee in your hand.

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I immediately knew.

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The height was about the same for all of the girls.

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I was like,

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which one is the coffee?

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That is so cute.

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I love it.

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I love it.

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Howdy.

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Hello.

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Long time no talk.

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I got your Marco Polo.

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She went back.

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Alana has sent me this clip.

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She said when she was listening to the five day

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rest intensive,

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it reminded her of it.

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This clip from Bob Newhart.

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I have seen clips from Bob Newhart,

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but not any to remember.

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I have not seen this one.

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She said me talking about stop,

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tell your body and soul,

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it is free.

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It is basically where he calls somebody in

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and says it only charges $5 for the first five minutes.

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It is free after that.

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She said that sounds great.

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I can assure you it will not last even five minutes.

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He tells her,

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tell me what the problem is.

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She says I have this fear that I will be buried in a box.

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I can't be in anything that is like a box.

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I can't be in an elevator,

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I can't be in the house.

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She goes through the whole thing.

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I will give you two words that will cure it.

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Do I need a paper and pen?

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No,

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you should be able to remember.

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He yells at her,

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I have this fear that I will be buried in a box.

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Stop it.

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She didn't receive that well.

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She decided to finish the next five minutes.

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She only had $5 and he didn't have any change.

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She needed to finish the $5.

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She continues to mention

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all these other things she struggled with.

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Bulimia and whatever.

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That is the only advice he could give her.

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That is so funny.

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I never thought about me saying

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that we just need to tell our body and soul to stop.

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I know it's not, hopefully how it comes across to anybody, but

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it cracks me up because obviously that doesn't work.

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What?

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No, I thought it was so funny.

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Cause I just, I remember seeing it a long time ago.

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Like the girl's like, yeah, my next problem is like, I'm bulimic.

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I stick my fingers down my throat.

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And he's like, stop it.

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Stop it.

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Just stop it.

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She just kept going on.

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Stop it.

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Not hearing anything.

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Oh yeah.

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It's it's finishes the very thing with, he said, okay, so I will give you it.

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She said, this is not helping.

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He said, I'm sorry.

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Are we moving too fast?

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And she said, yes.

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And so she, he said, well, okay, well, I will give you 10 words that I

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think will help, you know, progress you to the next step and, you know,

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just ease you along a little bit.

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And she's like, okay, fine.

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So she gets out her pencil and paper this time, cause it's going to be 10 words.

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And then he said, stop it.

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Or I'll bury you alive in a box or something along that phrase, you know?

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And so that's what the whole thing is, you know, because it's Bob Newhart.

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And so it's a, it's a comedy sitcom.

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And so anyway, I thought that that was pretty funny that she was

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watching my, my, uh, my, uh, one of the sessions, I think it's the third

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session, um, from the past five days.

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And, and she, she has Bob Newhart in her mind as I'm talking.

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I'm like, wait a minute.

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Just kidding.

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Well, cause you're like, just stop, just stop, just stop.

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Right.

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And I'm like, stop it.

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Stop it.

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I know.

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I doubt that that is free.

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That that's pretty funny.

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I know.

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I've had people tell me actually, whoops, actually tell me that before

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when I was going to them for help.

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Sorry, my sense, my, what is falling at my things falling down?

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I don't know why I've gone to people for help before.

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And that was their advice to me.

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Basically they didn't use those words, but that's what they said.

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Just like, actually just don't do that.

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I'm like, this is not helpful.

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And the way, the way you say it is so different.

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Like you're not like at all.

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Like you give reasoning and everything behind it.

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Like why?

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And the stopping is more like letting go.

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But for him, he's just like, stop it.

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Like, come on, just don't put your fingers down.

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Yeah.

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Well, I grew up with a joke of like, well, doctor, it, it hurts when I do

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this and he says, well, don't do this, you know, that's what I grew up.

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That's the joke that was going around my house, you know, like, oh, yeah,

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it's funny to do this and don't do that.

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I remember that one too.

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I'm probably the only one here that's old enough to have watched

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that the first time around.

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So it's like, I knew exactly what she was talking about because

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that's one of the classics.

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And I was there to see, you were there to see it live because that was

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before they had recordings, right?

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No, I know when they had the deal before they got in head DVRs or anything.

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So, yeah.

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Well, unless did they do many reruns back then when Bob knew heart first year,

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you got to see it the second time because you were there to see it live.

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So you got to see it the second time because you did the first segment.

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And then by the end of the year, you had the reruns for the, so you

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could always see it a second time, but they had clips and that was one

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of the ones that they play over and over again, because, you know, at

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that point counseling was a big deal.

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I mean, if you admitted to going to a counselor, that was a stigmatism.

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So then to have this farce about what counseling was like, really.

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Yeah.

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Oh, okay.

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I'm so interesting.

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Now that was, was that the nineties?

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Mary Tyler Moore.

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So I mean, I graduated in 77, so it was between, it was in the

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seventies because I was in high school when that kind of stuff was coming out.

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Okay.

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Yeah.

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Cause I, I didn't know.

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Um, I didn't know when Bob knew heart.

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I couldn't remember.

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I knew that Mary Tyler Moore was, you know, like you said, like probably in

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the, I wasn't sure if Mary Tyler Moore was in the sixties or seventies.

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I grew up watching some of hers on Nick at night.

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So, but I wasn't sure.

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And so along with Bob Newhart, so, but of course those were a free run.

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So I was born in 84.

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Yeah.

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Those were the real reruns.

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Oh, so does anyone have something to start us off with?

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We did not meet last week just because it ended up being the best time for me to

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do the five day intensive for everyone at eight to 10, eight to nine central

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standard time.

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Um, and so I felt real bad about like using our Thursday night time slot.

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But the reason we picked it for Thursday night is it's ended up

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working really well for everybody.

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So I was like, well, I think that means that it's going to work good for me to

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do, if I've got five whole days to do that at the same time, every, every.

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night I figured that that would be the best slot and then a lot of y'all were in the in fact the

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majority of you that are in that that try to make it to the um the um q and a's regularly y'all were

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in the group so I was like well they're gonna see me anyway um and uh and then we don't have it next

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week because I'd be more than happy to do it but it's Christmas I think it's Christmas Eve right

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and um so I know that y'all are all gonna be busy uh oh my word and the New Year's Eve is after that

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anyway we'll see what we're gonna do but um so uh I'm glad that yet all of y'all were able to jump

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on tonight so does anyone have anything to start us off with at all now that I've started us off

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with Bob Newhart I've done my due diligence so somebody else is up well you you probably

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responded to my Marco Polo about that crazy vision yeah I had yeah that was very neat

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yeah that was very very cool yeah I like that um yeah so uh I you know I didn't want to share

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anything about that because that's for you to share but um yeah so everyone Alana had a vision

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and it was really neat how the Lord was just uh talking to her through it because he was just

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affirming her where she was and just saying that you know she could always um she could count on

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the fact that her that she is a son of God is um uh afforded the the right to um receive uh

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protection from her father who would always be thinking of her and providing it even when she

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didn't know she needed it and wasn't um hadn't asked him for it so that was a sweet thing to

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be shown the Lord by the Lord yeah yeah and it was neat because you know I heard his voice pretty

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clearly guiding me in one direction and I I didn't go I like I said no to the thing that I knew he was

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telling me to say no to but I altered it a little bit and I found an alternative very typical yeah

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that I mean that we do that kind of thing yeah yeah and I was like well I don't really have

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enough time to kind of pray about it but I this might work this might be okay so I stepped into

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something that I knew was going to be a bit of a dark area but I was like well maybe I've got

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enough of light in me now or maybe like if I'm enough in the spirit then God will allow me to

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be able to kind of like rise above the darkness in a sense right and so I went I went sort of partly

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into the situation and it um by the time I was done I felt a lot of darkness and I was saying

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to Ashley I had this vision that there were like angels around me I was in my bedroom there were

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angels around me and then as soon as the darkness kind of hit all the angels went over to the side

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and kind of lined up because the enemy's army was trying to come at me and it was like the angels

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were protecting me and it was interesting because even though I didn't like I I followed what God

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said to a certain degree but not fully and he still protected me he still was there and you

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know I I was saying like there's no condemnation like I didn't look at it as like oh my gosh what's

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wrong with me why did I do that like I took I took a step and he still blessed me in the middle of

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a dark a darker situation where I was like wow he actually allowed me to be blessed by something

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that was kind of meant for evil in a way but he like brought good out of it in in my life and

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I guess like one of my questions in that and I don't think I mentioned this on the polo but it's

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like are we ever in a position because this was this is maybe my fantasy or maybe it's possible

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it's like are we ever in a position where we're so much in the spirit that we can walk into

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darkness and really not allow it to affect us at all like we would literally rise above it

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and it would have no bearing on us it would not affect us is that is that possible oh yeah

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absolutely I mean you think that I'm sorry just oh my dog no and I remember when Jesus died he

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went and the bible says and however it means this it says that he went down and got the keys to

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hell and he preached to those who had died before who died before the flood or died in the flood

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I don't remember but anyway so and then Jesus was in the wilderness and he was the bible says

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that he was directly tempted by satan himself and things like that so it's absolutely possible for

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us to be in situations like that and and and then not to affect us that's that that's the thing is

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It's not and that's what I want to make sure that everyone always understands when they, when we learn about rest is that rest and by that I'm talking about I'm talking about the same thing I'm not changing subjects and talk about the fact

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that you know, being in the spirit, and we're meaning like we're always that that is our identity is in the spirit so I know that I talked about like oh well, and then solar and the body and whatever we're all it we're all unified you know spirit

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our soul and body is where it is that we've shifted our consciousness to thinking that we are in which aspect of ourselves. We're pulling from as a source.

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That's the problem so it's not like we drop down into the soul and then we rise up into the spirit we're all the same thing. We just use that kind of like as a, as a, as a way to express the fact that our consciousness is shifting into where it is

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that we are attributing our identity to. But anyway, so when our, when we recognize and acknowledge the fat and rest in the Lord relative realizing I know my identity is here and I'm going to operate from this place.

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Nothing can affect us. So when we, when we talk about shifting into rest, it's not the environment around us that all of the things that all of the situations that we're in with family or with friends or struggles that we have in business or or whatever.

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It doesn't mean that those things are going to go away. It just, it means that they're not going, we're not going to be enslaved by them anymore. That's what shifting into rest means.

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So it means that even when the things are happening whether there are demonic attacks, or there are, in other words, that we're in the middle of something that is trying to attack us, it doesn't mean that we are threatened of being overcome.

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But, I mean, just like Satan, you know, came and tempted Jesus, but he didn't overcome Jesus so therefore if you can't be overcome because you know who it is that you are, it's not a threat, but it still tries to come and and and try to battle you or thwart you or whatever but but there's nothing no reason for us to be scared there's no reason for us to be triggered into into fear, because that can only happen if we believe that we can be overcome.

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If we can believe that we can be that there's actually a threat is then like a threat of being overtaken.

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So, yeah, absolutely. The, the thing is that, yeah, we're, we're learning how to remember who it is that we are so that we can then proclaim truth.

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And push out the darkness. But in the meantime, it, what we have to understand and receive from the Lord first is the truth that we live in freedom, free from fear free from being enslaved free from being threatened free free from being overcome, that kind of thing but it doesn't mean it's, we're not going to.

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Things aren't going to come against us or we're going to be in uncomfortable situations. It means that we're just not affected by them, where our emotions are going to and fro, because we're feeling afraid that we're overcoming that right now.

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Yeah, that makes sense like I feel like I didn't, I didn't experience the fear. I didn't experience a lot of the same things I've experienced before but I noticed like before I went into the call I had a lot of anxiety.

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And it was like this thing where it was like something was stopping me. It was just this feeling that I was being stopped and like if I was actually physically walking I probably wouldn't have been able to walk anymore like it just felt like I was being stopped.

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And so there was that and there was some anxiety and nervousness about it.

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And then afterwards, I just felt like my head hurt and that there was like a lot of pain, and that vision came. And I'm thinking, so in that situation like, is there a way that I can shift into the spirit or like okay so here's my question.

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Either God's saying to me like I really don't want you to be involved in any way shape or form it doesn't matter how much you live in the spirit, this is not where I want you.

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Or I'm like I can shift into the spirit and be a light in a situation that's very dark, and maybe that's what he's saying but I don't know because I don't know that I'm there yet so like I'm not.

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I don't know how you would discern something like that like I feel like if I was in the spirit enough I could handle it. So, I don't know that's what I'm thinking.

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So also, the more that that we read that we.

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How to explain this, that we shift into.

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We begin to learn what it means as we seek the Lord, meaning like we seek.

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Lord, who are you? Reveal yourself to me. I'm trying to discover who it is that you are,

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so I'm asking in our interactions what it is that you guide me in that you reveal to me

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your character. Who is it, Lord, that I'm united with? Who is it that I'm married to? Who are you

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as my husband? The more that we discover who he is and then the more that that relationship

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develops, the more we trust him and the more that we choose to receive of his love, the more of his

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heart is revealed to us. And part of that relationship is understanding his heart,

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therefore his will, his desire, how it expresses himself. And then we become,

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we in seeing him, we see ourselves in him like a mirror. And then we can now know more about who

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it is that we are because whoever Christ is, in other words, we're everything that Christ is and

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nothing that he's not. So then we start rising up. I'm like giving you a full picture here.

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Then we start rising up and then we, and the Lord teaches us how to make more and more mature

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decisions that reflect our character, which reflects our father's character. And it's by

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learning who he is that we discover who we are. Then we're able to bring our hearts

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in conjunction with his heart. It's kind of like both bringing them to the table.

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And it's through something like that, through situations like that, that we then realize, okay,

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Lord, what do you and I want to do together? Do we want to put ourselves in those situations?

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Because it's not so much always a situation of a question of, do we want to put ourselves in

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those situations or do we not want to put ourselves in situations? It's like, Lord,

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what is it that we're doing? You and I together expressing our, the spirit on the earth,

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bringing heaven into earth, expressing the invisible into the visible. What are we going,

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what are we going to do? Are we going to operate over here? Are we going to interact with these

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people or what, how am I, how am I declaring the invisible into the visible? And if it happens to

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be in that area that you're talking about with the, with those people, well then, then you'll

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know it. So, but it's not like this thing of, it's something that we develop over time,

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unless the Lord just reveals it, because as you come to understand more of who God is and get to

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see more of his heart, then you start understanding more of who you are. And then what is it, Lord,

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that we want to do together? How do we, how do we interact on the earth? And then that will

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determine whether you're in those situations, whether the two of y'all decide that you should

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be in those situations, because it's part of how you're bringing the invisible into the visible.

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It's not as much of, oh, should I put myself in those situations or not put myself in situations

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that is determined by how you're choosing with the Lord to express the invisible into the visible,

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to manifest something that is, is present in heaven and to make it actually visible in the

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created realm. That would determine it. Yeah. Okay. So yeah, I hear you. No, it's, it's good.

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I think, you know, the beautiful part about it is, like I said, there was no fear. I didn't have the

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same feelings. I didn't have the anxiety that I've had before. I didn't have the depletion and all of

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that. So I feel like I've risen above it, you know, for sure. Since the last time I was engaged in

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any way. And I think it was safer for me because nobody knew that I was there. So that was helpful

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too, except April. And so I feel like, you know, God, he allowed that, but I also feel like he's

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stopping me from, if I really think about what he's saying to me, I feel like there's a stopping.

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There's something that's not allowing me to, so it's either maybe that I'm not ready. If I'm ever

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going to be ready, he'll reveal it to me. And I guess it's not about me thinking, because I think

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in the past, I've had this thought of if I'm in the spirit, then I can do anything. If I'm in the

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spirit, if I'm bringing the invisible down to the visible, then anything's possible. Then I could

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handle that kind of a situation where if I was in that space before I would have gone through that

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whole ordeal and I would have not been impacted by it like I was, you know? So I guess those

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thoughts come because I wonder, yeah, how? Everything's permissible, but not everything's edifying.

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Not everything has the purpose for which we were intended to express the Lord and us

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on the earth. So anyway, it may not always have.

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I don't know, did that make sense?

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So you can, you can still be living in the spirit, but it still might not be something

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he wants you involved in.

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Correct.

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Yeah.

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What, because say for instance, if he has you somewhere else, but you're focused all

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of your time, effort, energy, and attention over here, that then he's like, well, you

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can do that.

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And somebody can express heaven into earth that way, but I want you to, you know, but

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the things that I have in your spirit, I use that to help.

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I, you know, as a good father, I allow that to be used for your good, your experience

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over here.

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But it doesn't mean that because you've had an experience over here, that this somehow

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goes into your future, quite looking like this.

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It can help, you know, you and father might decide, yeah, but we want to manifest heaven

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and earth in this, in this other way.

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I don't know.

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I'm saying that that's why we don't know.

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And and so, yeah, it, when we're in the, if we're operating out of this spirit, so it's

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this interesting thing, trying to figure out how to, how to explain this when we're, when

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we're operating out of the spirit realm, we make decisions for, from a totally different

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place.

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We make them based off of our understanding of greater understanding of his love and of

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his character and what that therefore means.

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And, and we, we just see things totally different.

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We, we no longer, for instance, I'm not saying that you feel this way, I'm just using this

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as an example, because it would be something that as soon as I say, you're like, oh yeah,

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I understand that it, it, it, when we begin to understand the father much more fully,

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we begin to see that we can actually walk away from the situation that you've walked

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away from and it not be abandoning people and it not be doing, you know, like, oh Lord,

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I could have, and I could have helped or Lord me walking away.

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Does it mean that I'm weak?

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Does it mean that I couldn't handle it?

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And I was like, no, it means it's not where you need to be.

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You need to be somewhere else.

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So it's when we're, when we operate more out of his heart and we begin to understand him

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more, we make decisions from a different place.

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And we just understand different things about him.

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For instance, this is a really bad, I don't know.

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I feel like this isn't quite a great example, but there are all kinds of things that the

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Lord does, whether he's told us these things directly for our own lives and how we should

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interact with the world, or we just watch it happen in life.

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Say for instance, people in Africa or people in India and, and we see their lives looking

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extremely impoverished or very unhealthy and they're dying at three years old or three

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months or whatever, due to malnutrition, et cetera.

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And we're going, God, what are you doing?

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Why is that?

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Why is that happening?

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Why is that permissible?

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And now, yes, obviously sin is prevalent in the world.

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So I'm not trying to blame God for all these things.

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My point is, we see all kinds of things that he says point blank to do in scripture that

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he tells people to do, whether in the old or the new Testament and things that we're,

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I don't know, and, and we're like, God, this doesn't all make sense.

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So there's, in other words, there's more about the Lord that we need to understand.

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So us trying to determine the idea of like what good looks like and what strength looks

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like and what weakness looks like on the earth and holding God to our parameters is

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going to limit our being, us being able to allow him to present himself according to

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who it is that he truly is.

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So we don't, I mean, unless the Lord just tells you point blank about what it is that

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he wants you to do and what he wants you to be involved in, that's an exploratory journey

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that the two of you will go on about what things you should be involved with and which

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ones you shouldn't.

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And I would recommend that you free yourself from the, from this, from any kind of internal

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obligation that you might feel of, I should be, surely I should be surely me being able

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to be part of these things means that I'm strong.

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Surely me learning more and learning more about how to operate in the spirit means that

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I will be able to be involved in these situations that, that is the end goal is that I I'll

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be strong enough in, therefore I should be involved in these situations or whatever we're,

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we're creating all of these, we're creating in rest or, or understanding a new aspect

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of the Lord, like abiding rest and operating the spirit or whatever.

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We can.

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start creating a new standard and a new set of judgments of like, oh, well, then obviously it should mean this, and it should mean this and I should be able to do this and operating spirit I should be means I should be able to be in these situations and because that's the strong thing to do or whatever.

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I'm not saying that you're thinking all those things. I'm, I'm just trying to paint, paint everything with a bigger picture than what your question actually is because I think the bigger picture helps to answer the question to give you a context for your question.

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So, understanding on I'm not trying to like, say that you're thinking things that you're not thinking I'm not putting words in your mouth. I'm just painting a bigger context for it well and you're not far off because I do think part of me is like, if I could be in that

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situation, and be like totally clean totally at peace totally unaffected by it.

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I would say that I've reached like a new level spiritually or a new level with the Lord. And so it's almost like a litmus test for me it's almost like if you're going to stand up to like your abuser right you're like, I can go and I can stand up to this person

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and then I know that I have like God's protection and right we tell ourselves these things and I think, I think that's what I've done with it so you're very accurate.

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So, if it's helpful and because again the only reason I tell you all of these things is because tell tell any of us these things is to free us, because we're so used to thinking at following that kind of logic.

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And if that's the only logic that we're familiar with for because it's the logic that we were that we were raised with it you know in the world because we've all, you know, all think that that's how things work.

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Then it's the same logical process that will take when we're trying to learn something new about the Lord and the Lord's like no scrap the logic.

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We need a new logic pathway. And so, he's like no it's, it's more free than that. And so like okay, so then we learn more things and God's like okay, uh huh, you know, it's more free than that.

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And so we continually have to like break ourselves out of these, these, these, these, and these ways in which we were taught and rewarded for following those particular logic pathways, I feel like I'm not grammatically structuring my sentence as well so I apologize.

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But I was talking to one of the client.

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So, it's like it's all based on relationship and spirit, and it's all in it and it flows, and it's not static and it's not rigid and anyway it's dictated by the Lord and his character, and therefore we have to know a person, and we have meaning like a being, and we

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have to be in relationship with him and that's what's going to actually open up and reveal things to us, as opposed to us being able to have something that we look at and compare these things up against in order to know what to think about this thing.

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So it's like no no no no take that thing and compare it up against me, not against, not against all of these characteristics, or, or opposite of God's character, and then see how this thing measures up so we can, if we're not careful we can begin to create new, new, new standards.

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But anyway, but yeah we're more free, even than even that Carrie mentioned something very fascinating and one of her posts in the five day where she talked about the fact that once she got rest, and I started understanding that rest.

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She was working really really hard to try to maintain it, thinking that this was the new way in which, as if it was a new way for God to be pleased that she could assure God was pleased with her.

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And God had to then break that off to he's like no no, there are no, no more of these standards, not even thinking that you being operating more out of rest and operating more of the spirit means that I'm more pleased with you or whatever.

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Because she was trying to now hold rest together, you know, and and hold that confession and so the Lord just keeps breaking more and more of those things off of us and it's, it's just, it's, it's wild and it's more and more freeing as we go.

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Yeah, and that's similar to because I would say like, I'm not, I'm not exactly looking for him to be more pleased but I'm kind of thinking, I've reached enough.

407
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or level in my spiritual maturity, it's a way to measure

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ourselves. Yeah. And it's like, so part of being in rest is not

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measuring ourselves against this or test progress. Yeah. And like

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testing ourselves. It's like, okay, we're really close to God

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if we do this and this and this because it's like the law,

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right? Correct. That of the spirit.

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Yes. Yeah. Very good way to put that. Yeah, very good way to put

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that. Yeah, we don't. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, yeah, because in

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remember that God's tests for us, you know, when it talks to

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the Lord, when it talks in the Bible about about tests, what

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that is, it's it's moving us into greater measures. It's

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crossing thresholds. It's not. Okay, I've been teaching you

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this lesson. Now here's a test and let's see if you pass it.

420
00:35:53.080 --> 00:35:56.680
It's, it's they're actually thruster thresholds that we're

421
00:35:56.680 --> 00:36:00.680
crossing into greater measures of love and freedom, where we

422
00:36:00.680 --> 00:36:05.240
are being given the choice to finally let go. And what he

423
00:36:05.240 --> 00:36:08.160
teaches is that to that point is he's like, hey, it's possible

424
00:36:08.160 --> 00:36:12.040
to let this go here. Hey, here's this new concept for you. Did

425
00:36:12.040 --> 00:36:14.880
you know that this was something you were hanging on to, you can

426
00:36:14.880 --> 00:36:18.720
actually, you can actually more great move, it's possible to let

427
00:36:18.720 --> 00:36:22.160
this thing go. And I don't require this of you. If you let

428
00:36:22.160 --> 00:36:24.800
this go, you can move into more love and freedom. And so then

429
00:36:24.800 --> 00:36:28.240
he'll bring us to what we refer to as this test, which is

430
00:36:28.240 --> 00:36:31.080
actually he's like, okay, here's an opportunity for you to

431
00:36:31.080 --> 00:36:35.040
finally let it go. Do you want to let it go? But it's not this

432
00:36:35.040 --> 00:36:37.840
test. And let's see if you learn your lesson. It's like, okay,

433
00:36:37.880 --> 00:36:40.960
now that you know, it's possible. This here's, here's a

434
00:36:40.960 --> 00:36:45.480
trigger. Here's the thing. And not that not that God tempts us

435
00:36:45.480 --> 00:36:48.160
because God never tempts us. But it's like we have an opportunity

436
00:36:48.160 --> 00:36:51.400
in which we've been triggered that we're in. And God's like,

437
00:36:51.400 --> 00:36:53.720
okay, see this thing that's now in the light that you wanted to

438
00:36:53.720 --> 00:36:56.720
hide in the darkness, it's now in the light. And you have an

439
00:36:56.720 --> 00:37:00.080
opportunity to let that go. Do you want to do that? And be

440
00:37:00.120 --> 00:37:04.200
have it be replaced by light and love and freedom. It's not these

441
00:37:04.280 --> 00:37:10.040
these tests of like moving into levels of higher spiritual

442
00:37:10.040 --> 00:37:14.240
maturity, because he, you know, it because he's now pleased more

443
00:37:14.240 --> 00:37:18.680
with us now than he was then or, or anything. It's, it's just, I

444
00:37:18.680 --> 00:37:22.360
don't know, it can't be it can't be measured the way that the

445
00:37:22.360 --> 00:37:25.840
world likes to likes to measure things. So it's just all

446
00:37:25.840 --> 00:37:28.440
relationship with him. And there are there are people that we

447
00:37:28.440 --> 00:37:32.680
would measure, according to that is being very, very low. And

448
00:37:32.960 --> 00:37:36.960
sometimes they can know more about God than we do. Sometimes

449
00:37:36.960 --> 00:37:42.680
non Christians know more about God than we do. So, so anyway,

450
00:37:42.760 --> 00:37:46.400
we because God doesn't measure things like that anymore. It's

451
00:37:46.400 --> 00:37:47.160
not linear.

452
00:37:47.760 --> 00:37:52.280
Yeah. Have you ever seen the map of consciousness levels?

453
00:37:52.360 --> 00:37:54.040
David, David Hawkins.

454
00:37:55.960 --> 00:37:58.720
I've heard of David Hawkins, I've not heard of Matt, but

455
00:37:58.720 --> 00:38:00.160
consciousness level,

456
00:38:00.200 --> 00:38:04.800
basically, it's basically like this, this picture of I could

457
00:38:04.800 --> 00:38:08.760
probably show it to you if I had it. But it's like, it goes from

458
00:38:08.800 --> 00:38:12.400
a low level of vibration, in a sense, up until like, you know,

459
00:38:12.400 --> 00:38:15.560
it's like energy. So it goes from like shame, you know,

460
00:38:15.560 --> 00:38:19.080
grief, fear, anger, up to courage, and then acceptance.

461
00:38:19.080 --> 00:38:23.960
And each one has like, almost like a vibrational level. And

462
00:38:23.960 --> 00:38:28.520
the top one is enlightenment. And I'd be curious to know what

463
00:38:28.520 --> 00:38:32.280
you think of this, I could send it to you separately. But I've

464
00:38:32.320 --> 00:38:35.880
often wondered how this might align with Christianity. And if

465
00:38:35.880 --> 00:38:41.520
there is something in these sort of vibrational levels of, you

466
00:38:41.520 --> 00:38:44.800
know, peace and joy and love and enlightenment. And if we reach

467
00:38:44.800 --> 00:38:47.800
that, then we're just vibrating at a higher level or living more

468
00:38:47.800 --> 00:38:52.760
in the spirit, and therefore, like God can do more through us,

469
00:38:52.800 --> 00:38:54.880
or I don't know.

470
00:38:56.480 --> 00:39:01.080
And I think that the what they're referring to as lower

471
00:39:01.080 --> 00:39:04.440
levels of consciousness is greater resistance that we have

472
00:39:04.440 --> 00:39:09.800
built up to who it is that, that we really are being united in

473
00:39:09.800 --> 00:39:13.000
Christ, the believers being united in Christ, you know,

474
00:39:13.000 --> 00:39:16.800
being unified with the Lord. And so it's just greater, the lower

475
00:39:16.800 --> 00:39:19.360
ones are just us being in greater and greater resistance.

476
00:39:20.480 --> 00:39:22.560
And, you know, like you were talking about, you know, it

477
00:39:22.560 --> 00:39:24.760
starts with like shame, condemnation, you know, things

478
00:39:24.760 --> 00:39:29.080
like that. And the this whole idea of like, what the what the

479
00:39:29.080 --> 00:39:32.160
world refers to, or New Agers, or whoever refers to as

480
00:39:32.160 --> 00:39:35.200
enlightenment, that, you know, they have their own ways of

481
00:39:35.200 --> 00:39:39.840
phrasing things. But there's elements that we can remember

482
00:39:39.920 --> 00:39:45.760
that the New Agers have taken to and attributed certain I don't

483
00:39:45.760 --> 00:39:49.600
know, that they they've corrupted and they twisted, but

484
00:39:49.600 --> 00:39:54.360
it doesn't mean that there's not an element that the original is

485
00:39:54.400 --> 00:39:58.240
isn't truth. So in other words, the original is true, but how

486
00:39:58.240 --> 00:40:00.040
did they corrupt and change that?

487
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:04.460
that and to develop like, I don't know, whatever structure that they have.

488
00:40:04.460 --> 00:40:10.140
But I think my point is that there's a seed of truth in that, in what

489
00:40:10.140 --> 00:40:11.980
it is that they're talking about.

490
00:40:12.260 --> 00:40:15.120
I don't know that we would describe it the same way that they did.

491
00:40:15.120 --> 00:40:17.080
That's just the way that they understand it.

492
00:40:17.520 --> 00:40:23.040
Um, but we're getting, we're, you know, as we, as we let go of that more,

493
00:40:23.280 --> 00:40:27.300
let go of that resistance where we're operating more according to who it is

494
00:40:27.300 --> 00:40:33.420
that we actually naturally are, um, being one, being spirit, one with the Lord.

495
00:40:33.940 --> 00:40:40.620
Um, and, and remembering that we're one with the Lord, remembering that, um,

496
00:40:40.740 --> 00:40:46.460
you know, we're, our, our spirits are the new man who has, who the Bible says is

497
00:40:46.460 --> 00:40:52.700
never sinned, um, they, it has access to all wisdom is access to all knowledge.

498
00:40:53.020 --> 00:40:58.940
Um, you know, and, uh, and Ken is, is familiar with the heart of

499
00:40:58.940 --> 00:41:01.140
the father and, and all of that.

500
00:41:01.140 --> 00:41:05.620
And I think that that's a lot of what the, uh, new agers refer to as enlightenment.

501
00:41:05.780 --> 00:41:10.620
But another thing that we can remember is that just because they

502
00:41:10.620 --> 00:41:14.940
had, because they twisted things, um, whether we're talking about this or

503
00:41:14.940 --> 00:41:19.260
we're talking about something, some other thing other than this pyramid or, or what

504
00:41:19.260 --> 00:41:23.900
you're talking about, about these levels of consciousness, that if we don't go

505
00:41:23.900 --> 00:41:28.420
through the narrow gate, in other words, if we do not go to God, God and God, the

506
00:41:28.420 --> 00:41:35.660
father's wonderful, but if we do not go to God through Christ, through his blood,

507
00:41:35.660 --> 00:41:38.460
through that narrow gate, which is the whole thing, which after you go through

508
00:41:38.460 --> 00:41:42.420
the narrow gate, it widens and it opens up, but we went through Christ and we,

509
00:41:42.620 --> 00:41:45.860
and we stayed literally stay in the blood all the time, because we're now

510
00:41:45.900 --> 00:41:46.580
united with him.

511
00:41:46.900 --> 00:41:49.940
If we do that and we access the kingdom through that, then that's all good.

512
00:41:50.220 --> 00:41:57.500
But Jesus says that if you go in by a way, other than the gate, you can access

513
00:41:57.500 --> 00:42:02.980
things, but if you didn't go through the blood, well, then, you know, we get, uh,

514
00:42:03.020 --> 00:42:05.940
people will get to the Lord and they'll say, well, Lord, you know, I cast out

515
00:42:05.940 --> 00:42:08.620
demons in your name and I did this in your name, did you do that in your name?

516
00:42:09.060 --> 00:42:12.820
And so in other words, the, it looks like they received the benefits of the kingdom,

517
00:42:13.140 --> 00:42:14.220
but they accessed it.

518
00:42:14.220 --> 00:42:16.700
God says like a thief and a robber.

519
00:42:17.460 --> 00:42:19.300
And, um, yeah.

520
00:42:19.300 --> 00:42:22.820
Uh, and cause they didn't do it through the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ.

521
00:42:23.140 --> 00:42:25.940
And therefore the Lord says that to those people, he's going to tell

522
00:42:25.940 --> 00:42:26.980
them, you know, depart from me.

523
00:42:26.980 --> 00:42:27.740
I never knew you.

524
00:42:28.460 --> 00:42:33.380
Um, so there's an element of truth in some of those things, but it doesn't

525
00:42:33.380 --> 00:42:37.020
mean that the way that they're doing it and going about it, uh, in, in the way

526
00:42:37.020 --> 00:42:41.700
that they actually describe it is accurate, it's, it's corrupted and it

527
00:42:41.700 --> 00:42:43.300
can come in as a thief and a robber.

528
00:42:43.300 --> 00:42:47.540
And it's why certain people can have very, can have lucid dreams and they can

529
00:42:47.540 --> 00:42:53.100
have these spiritual encounters, but it not be through the blood of Jesus Christ.

530
00:42:53.140 --> 00:42:59.020
And, um, and there are Christians who aren't experiencing those things, but

531
00:42:59.700 --> 00:43:02.220
those other people we're not missing out.

532
00:43:02.580 --> 00:43:06.860
If we're not accessing, if, if we would be missing out from what they're

533
00:43:06.860 --> 00:43:10.780
experiencing because they're experiencing it outside of the blood of Jesus Christ.

534
00:43:11.260 --> 00:43:13.180
And, and God doesn't put up with that.

535
00:43:13.260 --> 00:43:17.820
So anyway, there's a seed of truth in those things, but it doesn't mean that we

536
00:43:17.820 --> 00:43:19.980
need to be following the corrupted version.

537
00:43:20.500 --> 00:43:25.020
That's interesting to major trouble and expose ourselves to the demonic.

538
00:43:25.620 --> 00:43:26.660
Yeah, absolutely.

539
00:43:26.660 --> 00:43:30.620
So I wonder if like the lower levels on this map of consciousness are basically

540
00:43:30.620 --> 00:43:35.260
like being in resistance to God, not trusting, not believing, you know, not,

541
00:43:35.820 --> 00:43:39.420
not like trusting his spirit and his character and who he is and who we are in

542
00:43:39.500 --> 00:43:39.940
him.

543
00:43:40.260 --> 00:43:46.140
And as we rise, you know, we, and we go through that narrow gate, which by the

544
00:43:46.140 --> 00:43:46.780
way, thank you.

545
00:43:46.780 --> 00:43:51.300
I never realized Christ was really like the narrow gate was like a metaphor for

546
00:43:51.300 --> 00:43:52.060
Christ.

547
00:43:52.060 --> 00:43:52.500
I didn't know.

548
00:43:52.940 --> 00:43:53.140
Yeah.

549
00:43:53.180 --> 00:43:54.700
It's not a set of moral codes.

550
00:43:54.980 --> 00:43:55.180
Yeah.

551
00:43:55.220 --> 00:43:57.100
It's so interesting.

552
00:43:57.100 --> 00:43:57.820
I love that.

553
00:43:57.820 --> 00:44:01.620
And so if we're going through the narrow gate and we're living more and more in

554
00:44:01.620 --> 00:44:05.580
the spirit because we're trusting and believing him, then we have the potential

555
00:44:05.580 --> 00:44:09.460
to live more from a place of love, joy, trust, all of that.

556
00:44:09.580 --> 00:44:10.460
Is that accurate?

557
00:44:11.420 --> 00:44:12.420
If we go through him.

558
00:44:12.660 --> 00:44:12.980
Yeah.

559
00:44:14.380 --> 00:44:21.940
Um, uh, sort of, yeah, it's, it's, it's, um, still it's doing it.

560
00:44:21.980 --> 00:44:22.860
How would I put that?

561
00:44:23.540 --> 00:44:28.780
Where we're partaking of God himself, meaning that operating according to the

562
00:44:28.780 --> 00:44:32.300
tree of life operating in the blood of Jesus Christ, we're operating according

563
00:44:32.340 --> 00:44:33.180
to the tree of life.

564
00:44:33.220 --> 00:44:37.580
And therefore there's life in what it is that we do, as opposed to people who

565
00:44:37.580 --> 00:44:40.860
operate from the tree of knowledge of being evil, including, you know, the new

566
00:44:40.860 --> 00:44:46.780
age or concept of like, Oh, accessing heaven or whatever, by some place other

567
00:44:46.780 --> 00:44:51.740
than the gate and other than the blood of Jesus Christ and everything that they

568
00:44:51.740 --> 00:44:55.340
do, even though it sounds good and wonderful, Oh Lord, who cast demons out

569
00:44:55.340 --> 00:44:57.620
in your name and we did this and we used your name.

570
00:44:57.860 --> 00:45:00.100
See, I mean, these aren't people who deny that.

571
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:03.160
deny Jesus Christ, even in the Bible, it's saying,

572
00:45:03.160 --> 00:45:06.000
oh, well, you know, cast him out, even in Jesus's name.

573
00:45:06.000 --> 00:45:08.380
And Jesus says, depart from me, I never knew you.

574
00:45:08.380 --> 00:45:09.520
You didn't go through my blood.

575
00:45:09.520 --> 00:45:13.140
You didn't acknowledge the fact that the only way

576
00:45:13.140 --> 00:45:17.320
through which to have life and access the father

577
00:45:17.320 --> 00:45:19.840
appropriately and not as a thief and a robber,

578
00:45:19.840 --> 00:45:23.880
but legitimately is through my blood.

579
00:45:23.880 --> 00:45:25.220
And therefore, even though it looked like

580
00:45:25.220 --> 00:45:28.640
you received certain benefits and it looked in the fruit,

581
00:45:28.640 --> 00:45:31.800
in other words, the physical manifestation looked similar,

582
00:45:31.800 --> 00:45:34.560
Christians cast out demons as well in mining.

583
00:45:34.560 --> 00:45:36.040
But one of them is with life

584
00:45:36.040 --> 00:45:39.640
and one of them has death in it.

585
00:45:39.640 --> 00:45:42.120
So that's another reason why God tells us

586
00:45:42.120 --> 00:45:45.120
we need to be discerning of spirits and why the world,

587
00:45:45.120 --> 00:45:47.320
we just want to look at the fruit itself and like,

588
00:45:47.320 --> 00:45:50.120
oh, well, only Christians can cast out demons.

589
00:45:50.120 --> 00:45:54.600
No, no, and we want to look at the fruit

590
00:45:54.600 --> 00:45:57.320
and just be able to very quickly and easily create

591
00:45:57.320 --> 00:45:59.560
this judgment and the standard chart of,

592
00:45:59.560 --> 00:46:01.840
if I see these things, it means this.

593
00:46:01.840 --> 00:46:04.000
And if I see these other things that it means this,

594
00:46:04.000 --> 00:46:06.840
but what that does is trade the knowledge of an evil.

595
00:46:06.840 --> 00:46:09.800
We believe we're turning away from the Lord,

596
00:46:09.800 --> 00:46:12.680
like Lord, I don't want to, without knowing you,

597
00:46:12.680 --> 00:46:15.080
without knowing your character, being able to,

598
00:46:15.080 --> 00:46:18.400
in other words, knowing you as a being, not like knowing,

599
00:46:18.400 --> 00:46:19.440
but knowing you as a being,

600
00:46:19.440 --> 00:46:21.640
being intimate in relationship with you,

601
00:46:21.640 --> 00:46:23.680
that scares me, I don't want to be that vulnerable.

602
00:46:23.680 --> 00:46:26.560
I'll just know about you and be able to discern

603
00:46:26.560 --> 00:46:28.640
everything about my life and everybody else's life

604
00:46:28.640 --> 00:46:31.200
to know whether or not we're meeting your standards

605
00:46:31.200 --> 00:46:32.040
of your character.

606
00:46:32.040 --> 00:46:35.680
And God's like, no, no, no, it's about relationship.

607
00:46:35.680 --> 00:46:38.520
So, yeah.

608
00:46:38.520 --> 00:46:41.960
So it's more than just, God's just like,

609
00:46:41.960 --> 00:46:45.240
people, I don't, I'm not as interested in what it is you do

610
00:46:45.240 --> 00:46:48.280
because the non-believers do those things too.

611
00:46:49.160 --> 00:46:52.480
But I want you to have relationship with me.

612
00:46:52.480 --> 00:46:55.040
And Jesus said the only way to have relationship

613
00:46:55.040 --> 00:46:58.240
with the Father and out of which everything breeds life

614
00:46:58.240 --> 00:47:00.480
is through the blood of Jesus Christ.

615
00:47:00.480 --> 00:47:03.880
So we've gotten ourselves all confused as to thinking,

616
00:47:03.880 --> 00:47:07.440
well, we have it, what matters is our behavior.

617
00:47:07.440 --> 00:47:10.800
No, sometimes non-Christians behave a lot better

618
00:47:10.800 --> 00:47:12.720
than Christians.

619
00:47:12.720 --> 00:47:14.960
That doesn't mean do they squat.

620
00:47:14.960 --> 00:47:16.800
One brings life and one brings death

621
00:47:16.800 --> 00:47:20.200
and it's from the source.

622
00:47:20.200 --> 00:47:23.080
So we can't, so even when we shift into understanding

623
00:47:23.080 --> 00:47:24.680
more about rest and understanding,

624
00:47:25.320 --> 00:47:27.120
hey, we have an opportunity to operate out of the spirit,

625
00:47:27.120 --> 00:47:29.800
meaning out of relationship with God,

626
00:47:29.800 --> 00:47:32.520
we don't need to still keep that idea of standards

627
00:47:32.520 --> 00:47:36.200
and what it is we're looking for to manifest in our lives.

628
00:47:36.200 --> 00:47:38.560
We still are wanting to look at manifestations

629
00:47:38.560 --> 00:47:41.040
in order to judge ourselves and others by,

630
00:47:41.040 --> 00:47:45.440
and what God is trying to do is try to mature us

631
00:47:45.440 --> 00:47:50.440
to the point where we don't look at manifestations

632
00:47:50.800 --> 00:47:55.640
to tell us something, but we actually tell things,

633
00:47:55.640 --> 00:47:58.480
we tell manifestations what they should be.

634
00:47:58.480 --> 00:48:01.320
We say, oh no, I want this to manifest.

635
00:48:01.320 --> 00:48:06.280
We govern so that we create the manifestations,

636
00:48:06.280 --> 00:48:10.920
not see the manifestations and use it to tell us something

637
00:48:10.920 --> 00:48:13.840
about ourselves like, oh, well, this proves

638
00:48:13.840 --> 00:48:15.360
that therefore I'm strong enough.

639
00:48:15.360 --> 00:48:17.160
This proves that I've matured.

640
00:48:17.160 --> 00:48:19.000
This proves that whatever God's just like,

641
00:48:19.800 --> 00:48:21.720
let's get away from the manifestations,

642
00:48:22.720 --> 00:48:24.040
looking at the manifestations

643
00:48:24.040 --> 00:48:26.520
and instead dictate the manifestations

644
00:48:26.520 --> 00:48:30.520
as opposed to looking at them to tell us something.

645
00:48:30.520 --> 00:48:34.520
So this is a very serious maturation process

646
00:48:34.520 --> 00:48:35.360
that we go through.

647
00:48:35.360 --> 00:48:37.400
This is the stuff that we're talking about tonight,

648
00:48:37.400 --> 00:48:38.320
very heavy stuff.

649
00:48:38.320 --> 00:48:40.960
It can sound, if we're not careful,

650
00:48:40.960 --> 00:48:42.360
it can sound very esoterical,

651
00:48:42.360 --> 00:48:46.880
so I'm trying to make it as non-esoterical

652
00:48:46.880 --> 00:48:48.360
and as down to earth as possible,

653
00:48:48.400 --> 00:48:52.280
but it's hard to do when it really is a very mature concept

654
00:48:52.280 --> 00:48:55.880
for us to switch into because I still,

655
00:48:55.880 --> 00:49:00.880
I still, and I know this, I'll get afraid of something

656
00:49:00.920 --> 00:49:04.880
and I'll just like, Lord, I just don't see you in this.

657
00:49:04.880 --> 00:49:07.760
I know that you tell me to trust you and I'm going to,

658
00:49:07.760 --> 00:49:09.840
but I'm just telling you, I don't see you in this.

659
00:49:09.840 --> 00:49:12.000
And then I hear myself, I'm like,

660
00:49:12.000 --> 00:49:15.080
I'm holding God accountable in his character,

661
00:49:15.080 --> 00:49:19.160
in my mind to make it count to me

662
00:49:19.160 --> 00:49:21.360
of why it's manifesting the way that it is

663
00:49:21.360 --> 00:49:23.880
and it's not manifesting differently than this.

664
00:49:23.880 --> 00:49:26.000
And I'm like, oh, Ashley, you're so caught up now.

665
00:49:26.000 --> 00:49:28.400
You've got to stop doing that.

666
00:49:28.400 --> 00:49:31.920
So we have grace for ourselves just like the Lord does,

667
00:49:31.920 --> 00:49:33.760
but I just wanted to mention

668
00:49:33.760 --> 00:49:36.680
what eventually we're moving to.

669
00:49:36.680 --> 00:49:39.040
And he wants us to be free

670
00:49:39.040 --> 00:49:42.320
from constantly holding ourselves to some standard of,

671
00:49:42.320 --> 00:49:44.200
okay, I'm going to test myself now.

672
00:49:45.240 --> 00:49:49.680
Our spirit is what witnesses to our spirit.

673
00:49:49.680 --> 00:49:51.760
The Holy Spirit witnesses to our spirit

674
00:49:51.760 --> 00:49:53.080
that we're the sons of God.

675
00:49:53.080 --> 00:49:54.200
That is how we know.

676
00:49:55.160 --> 00:49:56.720
It's how we know that we've grown,

677
00:49:56.720 --> 00:49:59.320
that we've learned, that we've whatever.

678
00:50:00.400 --> 00:50:04.240
So our focus is on the relationship, not in how it's manifesting.

679
00:50:05.840 --> 00:50:08.320
So, yeah, no, that's awesome. Thank you.

680
00:50:10.080 --> 00:50:13.040
I feel like I sound very esoterical, but I did my best.

681
00:50:14.080 --> 00:50:16.800
No, and I hope you don't mind me asking about that kind of stuff.

682
00:50:16.800 --> 00:50:21.040
Because it's like, I feel like kind of on the journey, that's where I'm at.

683
00:50:21.040 --> 00:50:24.240
And yeah, okay.

684
00:50:24.240 --> 00:50:28.880
And I noticed that the other ones kind of like shut their video and weren't saying anything.

685
00:50:28.880 --> 00:50:32.160
So I was like, maybe we'll just carry this conversation a little bit.

686
00:50:32.160 --> 00:50:34.080
I don't know if they want to say anything or not.

687
00:50:35.840 --> 00:50:38.160
They might, they might just be visually busy.

688
00:50:40.560 --> 00:50:44.560
I am listening, but I keep sneezing and blowing my nose.

689
00:50:44.560 --> 00:50:47.600
So that was the reason why I put my thing on there.

690
00:50:47.600 --> 00:50:54.000
Because the head cold has taken its toll on my...

691
00:50:54.640 --> 00:51:01.840
So I'm over here, sipping my orange juice and sneezing and I have my like Kleenex box.

692
00:51:01.840 --> 00:51:03.440
So that's, yeah.

693
00:51:03.440 --> 00:51:04.560
You're having your own party.

694
00:51:06.560 --> 00:51:10.080
I mean, I appreciate the conversation.

695
00:51:10.080 --> 00:51:17.120
I can tell that since I actually watched that documentary,

696
00:51:18.000 --> 00:51:20.960
Elena, that you have the place that you were a part of.

697
00:51:21.040 --> 00:51:23.120
Of the place that you were a part of.

698
00:51:23.120 --> 00:51:28.160
And I was appalled that anybody would have to live through something like that.

699
00:51:28.160 --> 00:51:36.000
So to me, I mean, it makes me being sexually molested as a child, minimal in comparison to

700
00:51:36.000 --> 00:51:41.040
the level of manipulation and abuse that was used in that program.

701
00:51:41.040 --> 00:51:45.360
So I would see God's hesitation.

702
00:51:45.360 --> 00:51:51.520
So in the same way, the level of flashbacks that I have when I have smells of a certain

703
00:51:51.520 --> 00:51:59.520
kind or things that were a part of what I continue to struggle with in my relationship

704
00:51:59.520 --> 00:52:07.360
with the Lord as a woman, as an adult, I can't even imagine because that was being

705
00:52:07.360 --> 00:52:09.120
programmed into me as a child.

706
00:52:09.120 --> 00:52:16.800
So to have the level of manipulation and control that was used on a sophisticated level

707
00:52:17.600 --> 00:52:27.200
to manipulate people into thinking this was an elite society of special people that had

708
00:52:27.200 --> 00:52:33.280
been given the blessing of being accepted into this group.

709
00:52:33.280 --> 00:52:39.440
And then to hear your heart when you said there was a part that I still really miss

710
00:52:39.440 --> 00:52:45.200
because there was such closeness and bonding with the people.

711
00:52:45.200 --> 00:52:52.800
So all of what you have experienced, because I've been a part of that group when it was

712
00:52:52.800 --> 00:52:58.960
just a Christian group, not having all the sexual stuff involved, where you really felt

713
00:52:58.960 --> 00:53:01.840
like you were one with an organization.

714
00:53:02.400 --> 00:53:08.080
And I had God say to me, you have put church before me.

715
00:53:09.200 --> 00:53:12.160
And I was like, but God, I'm serving you in this church.

716
00:53:12.160 --> 00:53:16.800
And we are here manifesting your will being done.

717
00:53:16.800 --> 00:53:18.400
And we are praying for people.

718
00:53:18.400 --> 00:53:21.200
And we are seeing supernatural healings take place.

719
00:53:21.760 --> 00:53:26.560
You can't tell me that you're not here because that's everything that I experienced.

720
00:53:26.560 --> 00:53:31.360
And he said it again, you have put church before me.

721
00:53:32.720 --> 00:53:43.520
And I had to step back and really analyze that I was working more for him than I was

722
00:53:43.520 --> 00:53:45.200
relating to him.

723
00:53:46.400 --> 00:53:59.200
And that the people around me were feeding the realm of closeness, intimacy, connection

724
00:54:00.080 --> 00:54:01.920
that he really wanted.

725
00:54:02.800 --> 00:54:14.640
So it has always been a temptation to find in the natural, that group of people that

726
00:54:14.640 --> 00:54:20.240
I felt that connected to, that we were really one like you would, you didn't even have to

727
00:54:20.240 --> 00:54:23.760
talk, you could just be and exist.

728
00:54:23.760 --> 00:54:26.560
And you would know what everybody else wanted to do.

729
00:54:26.560 --> 00:54:34.720
So I relate to it based on, I had the sexual stuff as a child, and the exploitation and

730
00:54:34.720 --> 00:54:35.760
the manipulation.

731
00:54:35.760 --> 00:54:42.560
But then I had the connection as an adult, that I really thought, I mean, just like you

732
00:54:42.560 --> 00:54:50.400
did, that that was fine, only to have God correct me on positioning myself in him, so

733
00:54:50.480 --> 00:54:57.920
that I was not allowing a church to take the place of God.

734
00:54:59.680 --> 00:54:59.840
So.

735
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:05.040
I would just encourage you, if God's telling you to stay away, it's probably because that need

736
00:55:05.840 --> 00:55:14.400
has not yet been fully replaced by God himself. So he doesn't want you to be tempted

737
00:55:15.600 --> 00:55:21.200
beyond your ability to want that connection with any other person but him first.

738
00:55:22.080 --> 00:55:30.640
Mm-hmm. Amen. Well said. Preach it. That was awesome. I was like, I'm just letting you know

739
00:55:30.640 --> 00:55:36.720
I am listening. And you know what? And I appreciated everything you just said. It

740
00:55:36.720 --> 00:55:44.800
really absorbed into me. And just in full disclosure, the vow was based on NXIVM,

741
00:55:44.800 --> 00:55:49.600
which a friend of mine was in, Sarah. You probably saw her when you watched it because she was

742
00:55:49.600 --> 00:55:55.520
one of the main characters. I was in a different group that was very similar to that one. It wasn't

743
00:55:55.520 --> 00:56:01.360
exactly that one. It was one that was very similar to it. But the same type of manipulation,

744
00:56:01.360 --> 00:56:07.760
the same type, like Sarah and I would have many conversations about our experiences, very similar.

745
00:56:07.760 --> 00:56:13.520
And so yeah, I appreciate what you're saying. And I mean, going through what you did as a child

746
00:56:13.520 --> 00:56:19.760
and having that kind of exploitation and abuse and manipulation also has its effect. I mean,

747
00:56:19.760 --> 00:56:28.400
it's different, right? And I would never minimize something like that because I feel like when

748
00:56:28.400 --> 00:56:35.440
you're a child, it just has such an impact on your development. And it sounds to me like when you got

749
00:56:35.440 --> 00:56:40.080
involved with the church, like you had such, and that spoke to me too, you had such an amazing

750
00:56:40.080 --> 00:56:45.760
realization that you were putting the church like maybe a little bit before God or the people in the

751
00:56:45.760 --> 00:56:50.960
church before God. And it sounds like a good thing because it's a church, right? And it sounds lovely,

752
00:56:50.960 --> 00:56:57.200
but I love that you knew in your spirit that something, that you knew that something wasn't

753
00:56:57.200 --> 00:57:03.360
aligned as much as it could be. And yeah, like that's powerful. And that spoke to me too,

754
00:57:03.360 --> 00:57:08.480
because I'm like, yeah, I think you're right. I think I am still putting the closeness of those

755
00:57:08.560 --> 00:57:14.880
people still wanting to be in relationship with the healthy ones above my relationship with God,

756
00:57:14.880 --> 00:57:18.800
when really it's about growing closer to him. So thank you for that.

757
00:57:20.400 --> 00:57:27.440
I believe God has got us all together for a reason. And there are things that someone says

758
00:57:27.440 --> 00:57:35.120
that down the road, it's like, I mean, I would have never watched that documentary if I hadn't

759
00:57:35.120 --> 00:57:40.800
because it was like, not something that I'd rather do. Hallmark movies, honestly,

760
00:57:42.640 --> 00:57:50.080
with a real nice, good home feeling to me, you know, just to take two hours to watch that was

761
00:57:50.960 --> 00:57:58.880
an eye opener of what is going on in the United States underneath our noses, how many different

762
00:57:58.880 --> 00:58:08.960
places. So yeah, it was, I prayed for you. Well, thank you. And I'm not sure when you prayed,

763
00:58:08.960 --> 00:58:15.360
but there have been some major shifts in the last few weeks with me in that situation. God

764
00:58:15.360 --> 00:58:22.240
has released me of so much of it, which is amazing. So thank you for your prayers. I'm

765
00:58:22.240 --> 00:58:28.560
sure they had an impact and all of that. Well, it was a whole lot more of, I know,

766
00:58:29.680 --> 00:58:37.920
except for the grace of God, there would, I have gone, because I say, and I mean, I don't say it

767
00:58:37.920 --> 00:58:45.680
jokingly, I say it sincerely. But once you've been sexually molested, you either go the side

768
00:58:45.680 --> 00:58:52.960
of religion, or you go the side of being a prostitute and being very promiscuous. And

769
00:58:52.960 --> 00:59:01.120
it's like, I would have made a good prostitute because I like sex. So that was like the flip

770
00:59:01.120 --> 00:59:11.680
side of what would have been twisted otherwise. So the combination, you know, like there was

771
00:59:11.760 --> 00:59:17.600
one documentary I saw, and it was somebody who went in to do an investigative story as a journalist,

772
00:59:17.600 --> 00:59:23.520
and ended up becoming a prostitute because she saw how much fun and how much money these people

773
00:59:23.520 --> 00:59:28.880
were making. And here she was getting a pittance. And she's like, well, they're having a whole lot

774
00:59:28.880 --> 00:59:37.840
more fun in their life than I am. So yeah, it's not an unusual thing to have things twisted that

775
00:59:37.840 --> 00:59:43.920
you really don't realize how easily you could have been snared with something else.

776
00:59:45.360 --> 00:59:50.000
Yeah, thank you for your honesty. I love I love how like authentic and candid you are.

777
00:59:51.360 --> 00:59:54.480
That's amazing. That's it's so refreshing. I love that. It's so refreshing.

778
00:59:55.680 --> 00:59:59.760
Transparency is my middle name to my family's.

779
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:08.280
horror. It's one of my favorite qualities in a person. Like I think that is beautiful.

780
01:00:08.280 --> 01:00:12.120
So thank you. It's very refreshing to me for sure.

781
01:00:12.120 --> 01:00:20.560
Okay, well, Linda, speaking into her. And something else that I thought of as well want

782
01:00:20.560 --> 01:00:33.600
Alana is sometimes the Lord doesn't want us to be involved in something because it's it's

783
01:00:33.600 --> 01:00:40.480
this kindness that he of his where he's like, you know, I don't want you to be I want. It's

784
01:00:40.480 --> 01:00:46.280
almost like he's like, allow me to protect you. You know, I love you. And this is the

785
01:00:46.280 --> 01:00:52.440
way I'm loving you. It I you can be strong enough to handle all of that. But I don't

786
01:00:52.440 --> 01:00:58.200
want my bride to be exposed to that. I don't want her to be in it. Even though she can

787
01:00:58.200 --> 01:01:04.040
handle it, even though she can be strong, even though you know, she can do it. I don't

788
01:01:04.040 --> 01:01:10.720
want it for her. Because I desire something different, because it does affect us. And

789
01:01:10.720 --> 01:01:16.880
so think of think of David, or David, I think that y'all heard me use this, this example

790
01:01:16.880 --> 01:01:26.000
before, where God raised David as a warrior king, to, you know, to expand Israel's borders

791
01:01:26.000 --> 01:01:31.040
and establish the kingdom in a way that that no other king had ever established it. And

792
01:01:31.040 --> 01:01:34.800
he had just been he spilled a lot of blood to do that. Well, God called him to be a warrior

793
01:01:34.800 --> 01:01:41.440
king. But when she's that when Jesus when David decided that he, you know, man after

794
01:01:41.440 --> 01:01:46.160
God's own heart wanted to build the temple, God says, You can't, you have too much blood

795
01:01:46.160 --> 01:01:49.920
on your hands. And he literally said that he said, You have too much blood on your hands,

796
01:01:49.920 --> 01:01:53.840
you cannot build my temple. And David was devastated. It was like, Lord, this is what

797
01:01:53.840 --> 01:01:58.000
I want to do for you. So it seems like such a good thing. And he's like, No, because I

798
01:01:58.000 --> 01:02:02.960
called you to something else. You can't do this, he said, but Solomon, he said, will

799
01:02:02.960 --> 01:02:09.760
not be a warrior king. And therefore, he will be allowed to build my temple. So everyone

800
01:02:09.760 --> 01:02:16.480
is called to different things. And in there, and just because they seem like exact opposites,

801
01:02:16.480 --> 01:02:24.800
doesn't mean that one is blessed to the Lord and one isn't. He just it and, and just because

802
01:02:24.800 --> 01:02:30.800
we can't be exposed to something doesn't mean that we're weak as if that's a bad thing.

803
01:02:30.800 --> 01:02:37.600
God's like, No, I desire you to operate in the world in a particular way. And I don't

804
01:02:37.600 --> 01:02:44.400
want the thing that you touch to have been touched through you by something else. It

805
01:02:44.400 --> 01:02:49.280
just is to be separate. And it doesn't, but he's going to call other people to do that.

806
01:02:49.280 --> 01:02:55.280
But those people can't touch this, that you're that you can touch. And anyway, so they're,

807
01:02:55.280 --> 01:03:00.960
they're both good. And they're both lovely. And, and, and, and so there's this element

808
01:03:00.960 --> 01:03:03.600
in which sometimes Lord's just like, No, I don't want you to touch that, because

809
01:03:04.800 --> 01:03:11.680
that is actually me wanting to, I don't know, keep something about you, especially precious,

810
01:03:11.680 --> 01:03:19.760
because it hasn't been exposed to it. And it doesn't mean that he's not it that he doesn't

811
01:03:19.760 --> 01:03:25.520
consider other people precious, that he calls to touch it. But it's just, he's like,

812
01:03:25.520 --> 01:03:29.840
this is the way that I'm loving you. And the way that I'm loving you is to call this thing

813
01:03:29.840 --> 01:03:36.080
precious that I am keeping you from and keeping from you. And so it's another way that we can

814
01:03:36.080 --> 01:03:40.640
view it. And I know that that might be challenging for us to understand, because like half of the

815
01:03:40.640 --> 01:03:47.040
world didn't work like that. God's like, exactly. You're at the kingdom of the kingdom of the Lord,

816
01:03:47.040 --> 01:03:51.280
not the kingdom of this world. And so he just, he thinks of it and sees that all just very,

817
01:03:51.280 --> 01:03:56.640
very differently. So that's another way that we can, that we can receive any instruction that,

818
01:03:56.640 --> 01:04:03.840
that you might be receiving from the Lord where you're feeling like, Oh, I am or I'm not being

819
01:04:03.840 --> 01:04:09.440
allowed to expose myself to it. It can not mean that you're weak isn't a bad thing. It's just

820
01:04:09.440 --> 01:04:14.720
like, Hey, I don't want my precious bride to be exposed to that. I, I'm going to call other people

821
01:04:14.720 --> 01:04:21.120
to be exposed to it. But the world would say, well, me being exposed to it means something's

822
01:04:21.120 --> 01:04:27.200
wrong. It means God thinks I can't handle it. You know, I guess, I guess that they're going,

823
01:04:27.200 --> 01:04:32.720
I was not, ah, I see it. I see it as this precious thing I'm giving her, but other people,

824
01:04:32.720 --> 01:04:38.800
I want to call them into it, but I want to give her something precious by asking, by not exposing

825
01:04:38.800 --> 01:04:44.240
her to it. He does that with me a lot. There's a lot of things that I haven't been exposed to

826
01:04:44.320 --> 01:04:51.600
a lot. And, and so I, I know enough about them. I can speak enough to them in the, in the spirit.

827
01:04:52.560 --> 01:04:57.440
I help people through sexual addictions. They talked to me about some shocking things

828
01:04:58.160 --> 01:04:59.760
and I can handle that.

829
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:03.280
I've never been married and therefore I have never, I've never known a man in

830
01:05:03.280 --> 01:05:08.200
that way, but people come to me with sexual addiction issues and helping

831
01:05:08.200 --> 01:05:10.800
trip in the spirit, this is the answer.

832
01:05:11.840 --> 01:05:17.040
But the Lord doesn't want me exposed to because some of that stuff, people tell

833
01:05:17.040 --> 01:05:21.240
me, and I never like actually thought through the fact that that's actually

834
01:05:21.240 --> 01:05:25.560
a thing until they said it like, okay, well, because it's apparently a thing

835
01:05:26.000 --> 01:05:26.840
then here's how you handle it.

836
01:05:27.080 --> 01:05:28.800
And I, and I, but I have to do it in the spirit.

837
01:05:28.800 --> 01:05:29.000
Why?

838
01:05:29.000 --> 01:05:30.520
Because I don't have experience in it.

839
01:05:31.320 --> 01:05:31.520
Yeah.

840
01:05:31.560 --> 01:05:33.480
And so why?

841
01:05:33.520 --> 01:05:37.720
Because the Lord just said, Ashley, I don't want you to be exposed to certain

842
01:05:37.720 --> 01:05:44.040
to, to knowing that those things exist until, you know, I need you to help

843
01:05:44.040 --> 01:05:47.120
someone and then your spirit is going to be able to speak to it.

844
01:05:47.280 --> 01:05:51.680
And even though your soul is like, I have no idea, you know what I'm saying?

845
01:05:51.960 --> 01:05:56.840
So I consider it a very precious gift and it's been hard to navigate that

846
01:05:56.920 --> 01:06:00.360
because, and I'm not talking specifically about this one area and talking about

847
01:06:00.360 --> 01:06:03.400
other areas that I've just not been exposed to certain things, certain music,

848
01:06:03.680 --> 01:06:05.440
certain social activities.

849
01:06:05.800 --> 01:06:10.280
I was homeschooled my whole life, grew up overseas, not in America, all kinds of

850
01:06:10.280 --> 01:06:10.720
things.

851
01:06:11.080 --> 01:06:16.280
And there were so many things in which that felt like, it felt like a handicap.

852
01:06:16.320 --> 01:06:17.720
It felt like I'd missed out.

853
01:06:18.160 --> 01:06:26.280
It, I felt that it, it, certain people didn't want to be friends with me because

854
01:06:26.280 --> 01:06:29.400
they couldn't relate to me and it felt isolating.

855
01:06:29.400 --> 01:06:31.800
It felt, I felt rejected full alone.

856
01:06:32.240 --> 01:06:38.720
So I'm like, Lord, it is really hard to see this as a gift, but I chose because I

857
01:06:38.720 --> 01:06:43.120
felt that maybe he received it as he would, that it was a precious is something

858
01:06:43.120 --> 01:06:43.720
precious.

859
01:06:43.720 --> 01:06:45.080
He wanted to offer to me.

860
01:06:45.520 --> 01:06:47.200
Then I chose to receive it as precious.

861
01:06:47.200 --> 01:06:52.520
And so now I can see that, see it and receive it in much better way without

862
01:06:52.520 --> 01:06:58.880
considering myself to be weak, even though I'm still at 36 years old, find

863
01:06:58.880 --> 01:07:03.360
myself in situations where people are just like, Oh, she doesn't know about such

864
01:07:03.360 --> 01:07:04.640
and such or such and such.

865
01:07:05.320 --> 01:07:11.000
And they, as if they don't, they don't value what I've learned to actually value

866
01:07:11.000 --> 01:07:11.520
about me.

867
01:07:12.200 --> 01:07:13.880
Um, because God says it's valuable.

868
01:07:13.880 --> 01:07:18.280
So anyway, just FYI, the stuff that the world labels as weakness, meaning like

869
01:07:18.280 --> 01:07:21.040
even Christians, if they're viewing it from a worldly perspective would view it

870
01:07:21.040 --> 01:07:21.640
as weakness.

871
01:07:22.200 --> 01:07:26.200
Um, doesn't mean that in the Lord's eyes, those things are weakness and that he, him

872
01:07:26.200 --> 01:07:30.160
withholding us from certain things and being exposed to certain things or being

873
01:07:30.400 --> 01:07:35.760
ever being just in certain situations is some, in some way indicating that he.

874
01:07:36.600 --> 01:07:40.560
Doesn't think he, you know, we can stand it or that he can trust us with it.

875
01:07:40.720 --> 01:07:44.120
He's like, no, no, no, I'm going to actually give you a gift and other people

876
01:07:44.120 --> 01:07:45.320
have to be exposed to it in their life.

877
01:07:45.320 --> 01:07:47.520
And I'm going to give you a gift and I'm going to protect you from it.

878
01:07:47.920 --> 01:07:49.840
And will you let me protect you from it?

879
01:07:50.440 --> 01:07:52.680
Could be another way that he, what he's trying to do.

880
01:07:53.560 --> 01:07:56.320
So that may explain the vision a little bit too.

881
01:07:57.480 --> 01:07:57.840
Yeah.

882
01:07:58.520 --> 01:07:58.880
Yeah.

883
01:07:58.880 --> 01:08:01.360
So anyway, yeah, that's great.

884
01:08:01.760 --> 01:08:01.960
Yeah.

885
01:08:03.120 --> 01:08:03.880
You're welcome.

886
01:08:04.880 --> 01:08:09.480
Well, I guess that is it for tonight.

887
01:08:09.480 --> 01:08:16.560
It was good to see everybody and, uh, we won't have it next week for, um, for

888
01:08:16.560 --> 01:08:22.880
Christmas Eve and I know we will not have it for, um, for New Year's Eve either.

889
01:08:22.880 --> 01:08:26.640
So I'm going to either have to figure out if we're going to do a different

890
01:08:26.640 --> 01:08:31.240
night in the next couple of weeks, or if we won't meet until January.

891
01:08:31.240 --> 01:08:32.040
So we shall see.

892
01:08:32.399 --> 01:08:34.080
But I love all of you.

893
01:08:34.080 --> 01:08:40.240
And, um, if I don't talk to you and, um, you know, on zoom before Christmas, I

894
01:08:40.240 --> 01:08:42.080
hope y'all have a really good Christmas.

895
01:08:43.279 --> 01:08:44.080
You too.

896
01:08:44.880 --> 01:08:45.560
Thanks.

897
01:08:46.319 --> 01:08:47.040
Bye.

898
01:08:47.479 --> 01:08:48.200
Bye.